#can’t even justify it in any way cause its just weird

[kindaasrikal]

Nya and Ronin the uncle and niece duo you could’ve been.

Morro and Lloyd the cousin duo you could’ve been.

Pixal and Unagami the mentor-mentee/older sister-younger brother duo you could’ve become.

CRYPTOR and Pixal the sibling duo we could’ve had.

MR E AS ECHO AND ZANE THE BROTHERS YOU COULD’VE BEEEEEEEN

[stars-obsession-pit]

Since my brain has continued to rotate my alternate take on kryptonite being made of ectoplasm (here) I’ve decided to give the idea a name:

Souls of Kryptonite AU

I still don’t have any big or solid plans with it or whatever but. Yeah.

Anyway, I started thinking a bit about some worldbuilding possibilities around the thing. Nothing is too concrete but I wanted to write them out:

So, firstly:

Krypton’s destruction in some way involved ectoplasmic contamination of the planet (to justify why its bits got weird)

But then I had two ideas on how to take it:

1. Kryptonite flat-out is ectoplasm

When Krypton exploded, the energy output of the blast caused the souls of the dying Kryptonians to crystalize

Thus Kryptonite technically isn’t the shards of the planet - it’s the shards of the people

Because the souls crystalized in this way, they never fully formed ghosts. Instead, they’re just trapped in essentially the moment of their death

Kryptonite can hurt ghosts to touch because of the emotions contained within leaking through

I don’t have any fancy explanation for the Kryptonian power sapping part. Maybe the nature of it being their souls cause some sort of magic effect? Or maybe it’s literally just still radioactive in whatever special way. There are options.

Using it as a power source may or may not harm the souls - I’d think it probably would, but depending on how the energy effects work it might be arguable that the souls wouldn’t take much damage

Probably would require fancy ghost magic or ecto-technology to free the souls

You might be able to get a power boost by eating it but you really shouldn’t because that’d be like, soul cannibalism.

2. Kryptonite interacts with ectoplasm

Kryptonite is less “solidified ectoplasm” and more of a sponge that draws in ectoplasm from around it

Thus when any ghosts formed during the planet’s destruction, they were immediately pulled into it and trapped

And if any other ghost touches it later, it will start to drain or even capture them too

The ectoplasm stored in Kryptonite gradually leaks out as a different form of radiation - this is what allows it to interfere with Kryptonian powers

Generally, the more charged with ectoplasm a piece is, the stronger the radiation it releases is (this just feels like a logical rule)

The souls/cores/whatever-you-want-to-call-it of the trapped ghosts aren’t deconstructed (maybe because the ectoplasmic makeup of that part is different enough to hold it together)

Though maybe using it as an active power source could gradually damage them, to add extra angst to the usage of it in tech

However, any new ectoplasm the ghost forms while trying to heal gets torn away and spread throughout the rock

Thus keeping the ghosts stuck in a barely-formed state (essentially trapping them in the moment of their death)

Also this continuous drawing on the trapped ghosts’ ectoplasm allows for the Kryptonite to remain powered indefinitely

Kryptonite can’t hold an infinite amount of ectoplasm at once - it eventually becomes saturated and stops taking in any more (beyond replenishing what is loses to radiation)

At that point, it’s harmless for ghosts to touch (and can even give them a power boost if they consume it)

Yep i’m keeping the possibility of eating the rocks. Just make sure it’s filled with only non-sentient ambient ectoplasm and not souls and you’re good to dig in!

That saturated state could be used as a way to free the ghosts - continuously flood the Kryptonite with enough ectoplasm to keep it saturated, and the ghost will be able to reform without being drawn back in

Carefully breaking the stone might also work, but I’d probably add some sort of complication with that - maybe in regards to the stored ectoplasm being released suddenly or it potentially damaging the souls within

I feel like the latter option allows for some interesting concepts, but it’s a bit less faithful to the original “kryptonite is ectoplasm” idea

[ilikekidsshows]

"I wrote a thing ages ago about how Marinette doesn’t actually care that Lila lied about knowing Ladybug, she only cared that Lila lied about Ladybug to try to impress Adrien."

It's funny cause I saw salters use the argument that the excuses people give as to why Adrien gave the high road advice (like how he believed that Lila was just like a celebrity gossiper, or that their classmates would figure out on their own, etc...) are arguments that the fans came up with and that the show itself never had Adrien say those are the reasons he believe they should take the high road, which fair enough. But then these same salters turn around and try to make Marinette wanting to reveal Lila's deception as much more noble than it actually was, like making up the idea that Marinette was just concerned about Lila putting a massive target on her back by saying she was Ladybug's friend.

---

Also, like, Adrien’s “high road advice” isn’t even about taking the high road. Taking the high road means trying to be the better person in a situation, but Adrien actually tells Marinette that her method will not get her the result she wants. And to make this nitpicking about Adrien’s advice even more ridiculous, Adrien even assumes Marinette’s motivation is that she opposes Lila’s lying on principle alone, instead of her having a personal vendetta against her. Even the audience doesn’t know what Marinette’s end goal was. To get Lila to stop lying? To get her away from Adrien? To humiliate her so badly she’d transfer schools? We just don’t know because Marinette never thinks about it that far. She just sees Lila and sees red. She hears her lie about the most petty stuff and thinks that's her justification to bully her as a superhero.

“It’s enough that we know the truth,” is Adrien’s way of telling Marinette that they don’t need to care about Lila’s petty lying to get popular, because it’s not hurting anyone because it wasn’t. Lila was incredibly harmless to basically everyone when she wasn’t akumatized. Even her “threat” to Marinette was based completely on Marinette herself publicly harassing Lila and making herself look bad through no effort on Lila’s part. Pre-’Ladybug’, Lila’s lies never actually hurt anyone, the only time she actually hurt anyone was when she framed Marinette in ‘Ladybug’, which hadn’t yet happened in ‘Chameleon’.

Adrien is actually so correct about Lila in ‘Chameleon’ and that’s what pisses me off about the retool trying to turn Lila into this super evil obviously nasty person so Adrien has to apologize for giving good, solid advice that actually worked. I can’t emphasize enough that Adrien’s advice actually helped Marinette. It was the correct way to handle the situation, and no amount of retooling will change what happened in those earlier episodes. The fans don’t need to come up with reasons or defenses for Adrien because his advice worked, therefore it was the right thing to do. Meanwhile, Marinette’s methods never made any progress before the retool.

I also can’t emphasize enough that we don’t know what Marinette was trying to accomplish with her harassment campaign against Lila in the earlier seasons. Indeed, she never says anything about Lila putting herself in danger. She never says anything about how Ladybug’s reputation could somehow be harmed. She was just angry and wanted to hurt Lila for trying to get close to Adrien. The thing that makes Marinette ready to jump Lila in the library isn’t her lying about knowing Ladybug, it’s suggesting to Adrien they should meet at the park. “I just hate liars” is what Marinette said when Adrien told her she was acting weird and not like the Ladybug she should be, and even after the excuse, Adrien was left concerned that there was something wrong with her. Marinette’s actions weren’t justified even in the episode itself.

This is such a weird hill for people to choose to die on and for the show to walk itself back on. It was pretty clear in its messaging the first time around.

[p1x1x]

i don't mind recieving more insight on the relationship dynamics you have in mind for them! gives me a better understanding of whats going on in ur art. i just asked because the "child crushing on adult > adult turns into parent/guardian" dynamic is something i don't see often [and when i do see it, it usually isn't done well] so i wanted to reach out to understand what ur take on it was. it's nice to see ur nuances on it as a fellow aro!

haha… “insight” mention

i guess it is a pretty unusual dynamic… but the vibes match what i usually like, so i entertain the thoughts a little…

more often than not there’s some long line of reasoning for whatever pairing im into… usually revolving around why one is important to the other, i guess, since honestly i dont have a set idea what romance is even if i like drawing Lesbian Things… and have done so… for several years…… so the scope of what i consider “love” is might be vague across the board idk the characters just think a lot about each other thats it.

if i were to clarify something like those “saya LOVE” doodles its… idk about myself being ‘nuanced’ lol 😅 i just get delusional about fictional characters and arcaea is Really hitting the braincells. at full force. the main reason for drawing that anyway was because i wanted to see saya getting some kisses (or close to kisses) and blush… the thoughts behind them existed in a vague state while drawing but there were Thoughts

vita -> saya: slight homoromo energy from vita by crushing, saya’s surprised by the cheek kiss but honestly a little touched by it (saya wouldn’t really think of herself as a ‘good caretaker,’ or even a particularly ‘good person’ with the ways she’s probably tested the limits of the memories and her general exploration of all types of memories… ‘the ends justifies the means’ mindset… but it’s like. ah, at least this child is happy…(because of me…?) it seems vita’s happy with just that, so she’ll allow this) i thought it would be cute, fluffy really. honestly i just like drawing them being cute together lmao… they’re sweet i hold em gently in my hand. surprise cheek kith…

lethe -> saya: okay there’s something absolutely terrible and gay going on between them i almost cant look at them!!!!! i love the prospect of ltsy recovering together if vita’s taken away… because lethe cant bring herself to just. leave saya bleeding out. after that. looked like she’s on the verge of tears. it doesn’t even feel like she’s ‘won’ this battle since insight had been the cause of lethe’s scythe striking her… but it also does feel like she’s the one who hurt saya anyway. so now they’re not fighting which is Weird because everytime they’ve met they have fought but neither are really in the mind for fighting so they just. have to deal with each other . and. pent up lesbian feelings. and suddenly being in close proximity like this. that flower is really pretty isn’t it? like the rest of her of course so much for Not Caring about whatever’s bouncing behind those petals before!!! (and all those other things they’ve said to each other when they believed the other to only be an obstacle for their path—ah, they were really misguided… things could have been so different… feels like the emptiness of arcaea also emphasized their opposition similarly to hikaritsu…)

(they’re really gay for each other trust me on this. they have a lot of lesbian yearning . but there’s also like. lethe seeing that vita was important to saya. (more important than what lethe has with saya just for now okay they’re both going to be important to her) how saya would probably still pursue her own dream. lethe can’t exactly fault her for that though, when she herself still believes the memories to be sacred, still finds it hard to let go of things (i know in 5-6 she kind of comes to peace with not remembering a part of herself… but she is still not letting go of any memory if she can jdhdgshssjshhs)). ouuuuugh lethesaya… y yuri… things are horrible for them… and saya’s flower lol. get licked, idiot (saya can totally feel things touching the flower!!! i won’t budge on this)

insight -> saya: insight’s love is definitely a sort of Love but less for a personal relationship and a need to find out everything about something or someone (largely based on whatever insight says in 16-3 and 16-6)… although maya is the most fascinating by being an exception to arcaea laws that insight understands, i’d think insight would find saya a little funny to poke at. and insight’s also gay because Yuri reasons. but then again, maybe all this is what romantic love would be like to her: knowing something or someone inside and out, construction and all : P in her freak ways : P the freakiness is amped up with maya though. freakyuri

though insightsaya isnt really something i ship (along with insightlethe or whatever configuration of them with insight). i just think, well, Lesbian Energy between all 3 of em, insight finds lethesaya entertaining or some shit like that. and its fun to put them together because. one is an ethereal beauty. one is pathetically hot. and the other is just a charming freak. so hard to draw

im not usually this elaborate for multiple characters but oh well i guess this is happening. just refer to the chart tbh that one covers most of my art in a pretty condensed format compared to… whatever this is

[vo-kopen]

So in case any of y’all were interested in Zippo’s origin from my other post (seen here) here it is. I appreciate that his first appearance has a diagram of his tech, and while his spandex is a bit generic, his harness and wheels make him stand out. It is a bit weird that this PI just randomly has invented a harness, but a future story could explore why a PI is a skilled mechanic and inventor. Maybe he wanted to be an inventor but his tech was too niche or impossible to mass produce, so he was forced to use his eye for detail as a PI. There is potential for future stories here. And as a reminder, Zippo is in the public domain, so he is free to use for anyone for anything.

It’s also interesting that while Zippo is faster than any human, he’s not anywhere near the speed of a proper speedster. The Flash and Quicksilver both are so far out of his weight class it’s hilarious. But that’s not a bad thing, its an unique idea to have a speedster using 1940’s machinery to move fast, I can’t recall any other speedsters like that. The tech also stands out against his uniform; it is far from streamline. There is a sense that it is not the optimal way to move fast, but it still enough to let him foil a villain or two. Almost like a street level speedster. If a writer using him has a more typical speedster in their cast, Zippo could be used to show the limits of technology.

I also appreciate that while Zippo is violent, he did not kill his enemies. This is the Golden Age and before the comic code authority, and as you can see the Pirate is not only willing to kill but I believe he is cleaning blood off his cutlass. Zippo sparing him therefore seems like a point of contrast, the Pirate is willing to even kill his own henchmen, but Zippo does not. You could explore a code of ethics here. And from a practical point of view, this theoretically means the Pirate could show up in future stories.

The story is jingoist, what with the focus on war plants and the USO thing at the end, but this story did come out in 1943. War industry is bad, but at least they are fighting the Nazis. (Though I cannot bring myself to read issue two yet because it’s the forties and while I do not know the plot, if Imperial Japan comes up in a story I expect to be horrified. Captain America comics in the forties were very racist. Zippo seems more based in the states than Cap so it might never come up, but spies and saboteurs are still a possibility, so my anxiety fears)

Other notes, his secretary barely appears but her last name is Smith, so if a writer uses him they could incorporate that name as a play on words. Like, maybe she helps him maintain or build his gear. (again, I have not read issue two yet, she might not stick around or their dynamic might differ. Though there is no reason a retelling would have to treat the original comics as a strict bible) Either way, she is in a position that could easily be a recurring role if not a major supporting character. Shame she is such a blank slate in issue one.

As for Joe’s profession, my gut shouts ACAB, especially his use of threatening violence to get enemies to confess. That said, he is approached by Anderson because he is not a part of the system and they don’t want to cause a panic, so there is potential there for him to be written as outside and contrasted against law enforcement. Is he subtler than the law? Is he less important in the eyes of the public so they would not care as much? Would any of that plus Zippo’s smashing success cause resentment among the cops? These ideas are clearly not in the text, but it could be explored by a modern writer. And I will admit, being a PI gives him a reason to be approached by civilians to help them with their troubles, as well as an excuse to investigate in his civies. Reporter is the classic occupation to justify superhero snooping, but this is not the worst job for a superhero to have. That’s billionaire.

Anyway, tagging @thefingerfuckingfemalefury @akirakan @espanolbot2 @filipfatalattractionrblog @nitpickrider @bear-of-mirrors @geekgirl101 @renaroo @docgold13 @paulsebert @majingojira @strixobscuro and any other comic fan who might be interested in reading a quick little comic about a public domain “speedster.”

[an-organism]

sort of continuing on an earlier ramble or two - core contradiction of hermione is that she thinks systematically and values systematic thinking but often makes snap judgements and decisions on pure gut instinct and systematically justifies them after the fact, which leads her to act idiosyncratically. ruthlessness is arguably her single strongest defining personality trait in that she’s pathologically goal-oriented, relentlessly so, willing to disregard any obstacle for the sake of a mission, but she also has these weird hangups and grudges and pet causes that are rarely productive in or of themselves and hardly ever serve a greater goal. things will just rub her the wrong way and she can’t get over them, or they won’t and she’ll get over them before anyone else does because it’s necessary that she does so, and there’s not always an obvious pattern.

everyone else sees spew as a dead-end cause, it’s ill-constructed and there’s very little going on in the way of coherent grand strategy, but she decided it was important and couldn’t let go of it, and she was going to do it her way and no other way. there’s no reason for her to despise divination as a school of magic beyond just straight up hating it on principle, regardless of its eventual importance to the war in the way of prophecy, etc. meanwhile she has every reason to hate snape, who is frequently a dick to her specifically and has been for years, but once it’s established he’s on their side she’s among the first to compartmentalize, because they’re at war and he’s an ally and that’s what matters.

it’s the irony and the hypocrisy of her near-universal revulsion to the irrational often leading her to act irrationally in disregarding genuinely useful things she instinctively deems irrational. she's 100% do as i say and not as i do; rationality is both one of her greatest strengths and her most significant blind-spot! that’s just good character construction tbh

(this is also why i love the idea of her simply not being able to stand luna, who not only represents everything she hates in terms of the irrational, but worse, is sometimes actually right about things)

all those snap judgments also make her weirdly averse to outside influence- she does listen to others if she’s already decided she values their perspective on a particular issue (dumbledore and mcgonagall come to mind), but even then, once her mind’s made up it’s not likely to change, and the mind-making-up process can happen super quickly. sort of a positive and negative leadership quality; if you need a decision made in a high pressure situation, she can make a decision and stick to it, but she's probably never going to be a great listener, and there's always a chance the whole thing gets sidetracked to follow a hunch. the hero you need but not the one you want, i guess. (she would not be great for morale.)

she's like if you designed a person specifically to be invulnerable to hypnosis. if she'd gotten tom's diary i legitimately don't know if she'd have ended up taking over the world, deciphering the horcrux plot in its entirety, driving tom insane, or just throwing it away after an hour (isn't there a fic about this?)

i almost want to make her a seer just to see what the fuck she'd even do with that. curse her with unexplainable visions that keep coming true despite her best efforts to prove them wrong, pure magical thinking that she can never escape and has to force herself to trust, an instinct that betrays everything she stands for. oh my god she'd hate it

[ginnsbaker]

I hate reader so much 💀 like all of their actions leave me completely flabbergasted you have that dream about hurting a woman you love (or loved i can’t even tell anymore) because you know you’re a toxic person whos been using and hurting her and immediately after ending that jump straight back into things with another woman. I really want pietro to see reader maybe with yelena and just snap and have a fight and then somewhere in that lets it slip what wanda did cos reader needs to know and i’m interested to see how they react to that tbh i can see if reader does find out then wanda potentially getting the wrong idea like reader only suddenly cares out of pity or something like that. Also yelena is a weird one cos in some ways shes very similar to wanda in the sense that she doesn’t seem to want to give up on reader (genuinely cannot understand why but uno). Yelena surely must know that reader is not good for her (especially not without therapy and lots of it) and there are other/better options. It just seems that yelenas sense of self worth isn’t great either if she’s so willing to keep putting herself through things with reader. I also think if reader really cared about yelena they wouldn’t be perusing anything yet, since they ended things with wanda they haven’t really been alone and not knowing how to be alone seems to be doing more damage than good. Now im gonna talk a bit about wanda, I don’t know how you have me feeling so much sympathy towards a cheater (especially as someone who was cheated on). One thing i wanted to ask is why did wanda cheat? Like i can’t really get my head around it because there didn’t seem to be any problems or sense of unhappiness from her? Like seriously every chapter I’m waiting for a reveal like she was being drugged or blackmailed or something anything cos I can’t understand why. But anyway, im glad wanda is getting therapy finally someone in this fic is it’s about damn time. The dream in the start made me so sad because its so true reader is hurting wanda so much and shes just taking it all because she’s convinced herself it’s justified and she deserves it. Even when she was defending reader against her brother it was just heartbreaking because reader doesn’t deserve that. And like i know she was wrong and she cheated but even then she doesn’t deserve what reader is doing to her using her for sex and being so rough just doesn’t sit right with me at all. Also hearing reader say they wanted to hurt her is sad i was half expecting something saying that they just said that for yelenas sake and deep down they still love her but nope. And at this point i dont know if they should work things out even though i wanted them to at the start. The more i read the more i think reader fucked up more and keeps fucking up and honestly wanda deserves better than giving herself up and letting someone use her. Im not team yelena or team wanda im more team therapy or team make wanda happy 😂

💀 anon, is this you? if not, i hope you assign yourself an emoji cos this is GOLD reaction haha (minor spoilers ahead-wont affect you experience i think)

Reader - Not gonna make an excuse about her actions because Pietro is right. But Delayed-onset PTSD, is showing us the ACTUAL effects of the cheating on R's mental and emotional stability.

Piet - He promised not to tell R, and he will respect his sister's wishes. But... yes, R will find out.

Yelena - I didn't want to say anything about Y being that she's the one who's least fucked up, but to go after someone hard and refuse to give up on someone despite the red flags is also a cause for alarm. R and Y were each other's first loves. R got married. Then miraculously, R got divorced and Y couldn't believe the window opened to The One That Got Away/Love of her life. How do you let that opportunity go? Yelena is stubborn because she grew up with R, she think she still knows R, still knows how to fix her, that she can get better for her in the long run. Don't we all, at one point, chose to stick with someone even tho they are bad for us, because love gave us hope?

Wanda - "we accept the love we think we deserve" as long as Wanda hasn't forgiven herself, she thinks she deserves every bad thing thrown her way. Sometimes people really are genuine remorseful. This is why I questioned my belief if I can forgive cheating (and IFISS and ILGOSS was born)

Back to Reader - someone mentioned Reader is becoming the villain of the story. I kinda lean on that because out of everyone, R is the one who needs therapy, especially because on the surface she seems sane. She IS trying to still be good, to be decent, to give people what they want, and the thing that happened with Wanda was her momentarily giving in to her darkest deepest desires, and snapped out of it, stopped herself further by ghosting Wanda again. But this strategy clearly isn't working anymore, so yeah, therapy for everyone!

whew! I hope you get some insights about this, but as the story unfolds, i hope all the things ive said above will bleed through.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!

Even more so for sending this reaction. I love reading everyone's thoughts!

[hanasnx]

I adore your blog!! I check it regularly 🫧and I’d like to share my thoughts on protective Ani with you (and of course you don’t have to share this)

Idk I see Anakin constantly debating whether or not he’s overreacting and if he should jump in and protect the reader from whatever. because even though he’s got his insecure and possessive side I see him holding so much respect and viewing the reader as capable to fend for themselves in certain situations (even if the reader might not be a Jedi, at least that’s what I imagine) However it’s canon that he has the fear of losing those closest to him, right…. I think this would cause him to be smothering to an extend. Like he is so force sensitive and has a good feeling about the future, but obviously that would not go well with the fact that he’s afraid of losing the reader. I imagine him as always having an arm around his lover at least when it’s in a setting where can he can do so. Ani would always use the opportunities he’d get to be close to the reader… even when sleeping, Ani would be glued onto his love (both as big and little spoon) I also seeing him justifying his jealously with the excuse of being protective, when he can play it of that is Lmao. “He gave off a weird vibe okay?“ “Im not sure, he seemed perfectly normal to me“ “You know that im very force sensitive, I sense that kind of stuff instantly..” “….Riight” “Right.” And if the reader was somehow hurt, he would stay close by their side until they were feeling better Im sure. overall he gives me “he protect he attack” vibes, however he’d hold back as he knew the reader wouldn’t be a fan on that last part, although not always👀

☥ honestly ur right. i like how you described it as “smothering to an extent” i feel like he thinks it’s just his way of loving on you, caring for you, keeping you safe. and then he starts realizing what he’s doing and getting anxious over how it’s affecting you and how he’s doing too much but he can’t stop? i imagine its like a compulsion. if he doesnt do this then xyz happens. if he ignores it, it just gets louder

☥ he would wanna touch you whenever it’s an appropriate setting. he just gives me major PDA-lover vibes as well. (like when he reunited with padme in rots and he was kissing up on her while she was like “not here!” “yes here” OOOOO)

☥ youd have to keep him in check tbh but its hard when he just worries so easily

☥ and when you do get hurt, it takes some convincing that its not his fault. but he is def the type to stay with you while you recover from your major injury

☥ im sorry to make every post of mine horny but can you imagine him kissing up on you feverishly while youre recovering in the medical bay, “thought i’d lose you,”

“i’m fine, ani,” letting him kiss your cheeks, lips, forehead, jawline, neck. his wandering hands hungrily gripping onto whatever he could

“let me check, just to be sure,” he says playfully, tugging at the strings of your top

“well if thats the only thing that’ll help you feel better..”

checking to make sure his prized pussy is okay by probing it with his dick in different positions— gotta ensure it’s still working properly… still feels good..

[mogai-sunflowers]

ok this is not at you but i need to get this out because i almost posted it to my own blog. cuz im pissed lmao /lh

-

people have such an obsession with creating the “good” teams and “bad” teams in this community, not realizing that it can just cause further oppression, suffering, and less social acceptance for people.

i used to run a blog for alloaro discussion, since i formerly identified that way. i remember when people said alloarophobia couldn’t exist, because you can’t be oppressed for being allo. sure, alloaros are oppressed, but only for being aro. it’s not a special microlabel because being allo is a privilege.

maybe that’s why i don’t buy into the current debate on terms like “transandrophobia.” because it’s recycled. it’s not new, it’s not a “hot take,” it’s bigotry taken to its furthest point under a new form of discourse, because it always evolves. does “androphobia” exist? on it’s own, no. but like alloarophobia, it does exist under certain circumstances, due to being in another group.

allos aren’t oppressed as a group, but gay allos are for expressing their sexuality in a way society doesn’t approve of, for being openly sexual with people of the same gender, for being allo in a way that amatonormantivity didn’t account for. alloaros are, for being okay with sexuality without romance, for being okay with FWBs, for not wanting the nuclear family, all while still being comfortable in their non-normative sexuality, and so on, so forth.

men aren’t oppressed as a group, but trans men are for not being seen as real men, for being forced into specific roles, for not having reproductive rights, for invisibility. men of color are, for how they’re painted as aggressive and violent, for how they’re often targets of unjustified attacks and even deaths for this very stereotype. mlm are, intersex men are, gender nonconforming men are.

when are people going to realize that this isn’t anything new, and they’re just being transphobic? i keep seeing it in terms of both gender and attraction. people think these jokes about how being a guy or liking guys is gross, when people literally die for being attracted to men, or for fighting to be considered one in a society that wants them to fade into obscurity. you aren’t being revolutionary, you aren’t lifting up whoever the fuck you think you are, you’re just causing more suffering for a group that frankly, has suffered fucking enough.

if you pick apart labels that describe oppression based off of whether the components exist on their own, you’re not an ally for any of us.

tell me what two magical components make up biphobia that “justify” the word existing. or aphobia, or even homophobia. is it okay for the term “alloarophobia” to exist even though “allophobia” doesn’t? if you’re in this community, there’s a 99% chance you’d say yes. because “allophobia” becomes possible under certain circumstances, such as being aro. kinda weird right? clearly, the axis doesn’t exist, because the two components on its own typically don’t. (sarcasm)

but that’s not really what the problem is, is it. this semantics over language, over whether the term is accurate based off of the etymology… that’s not the issue. the issue is, some people just don’t want to admit how deeply transphobic they are, and how willing they’d be to let huge chunks of us suffer and die because we don’t fit their perfect categorization of what “counts” or “deserves” to exist.

to some people, this shit is just a game and not lived experience. it’s internet discourse. because to them, it matters more than the lives and genuine safety of real queer people. it’s nice to know how many people in the queer community would turn on a dime and not stand for their fellow community members based off of it.

i’m honestly willing to bet a huge portion of these people would be the same ones who helped me get recloseted as an ace person because “aphobia can’t exist,” the same ones who called us “bihets” and based us off of our “privilege” instead of recognizing biphobia as a term. the day people realize that this is recycled bigotry and not some revolutionary OwnTM that you think it is will be the day we can finally move forward as a community instead of bickering and squabbling in the gutter.

these people are not just against transmasc allyship, but queer allyship as a whole, until they get over this shit. end of discussion.

anon this is the best description of this i think i've ever seen. you're so right. thank you thank you thank you.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑴𝒂𝒇𝒊𝒂! 𝑨𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒛: 𝑯𝒆𝒍𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑻𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝑪𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝑶𝒇 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝑩𝒂𝒃𝒚

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, justifying, encouraging or promoting mafia behavior or lifestyle. This is simply a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

"Ok ok stop fussing now. I'll get you out now."

Hongjoong walked over to the portable crib and picked up his son who was currently whining and kicking his legs around, hating being cooped up inside the contraption for too long. Hongjoong picked him up and looked at him.

"You know, not even the people we lock up in solitary confinement complain as much as you."

The baby reached his tiny hands out, gently patting at his father's nose and cheeks, making Hongjoong chuckle.

"Then again none of them have ever been half as cute as you are. It's a crime to be this cute. I should punish you."

Hongjoong nuzzled his nose against his son's, causing the baby to let out a happy squeal. A tiny buzz let Hongjoong know Yunho was calling him.

"Hey Hongjoong. Your boss is on the line."

Hongjoong rolled his eyes at Yunho's teasing, always saying how you were the real boss. Putting the baby down so he could crawl as he liked, Hongjoong picked up the phone.

"Hey honey." He greeted you.

"How's the baby doing?" You asked.

Hongjoong got a deadpan expression.

"Well hello to you too Mrs. Kim, I'm fine too thanks for asking."

Hongjoong was so concentrated on your conversation he didn't realize the door was open and the baby inadvertently went out.

"He's fine don't worry. And he's no trouble at all, he's currently crawling around my office-"

Hongjoong abruptly stopped when he realized the baby was gone.

"Hongjoong....? What's going on?"

He could hear you getting ready to scold him if anything happened to your child. He stammered as he began looking around for him. A beep on the other line let you both know someone else joined your call.

"I think an enemy spy has infiltrated our base, but honestly, I don't have the heart to fight back." Yunho's voice was followed an incoherent babble, belonging to none other than your baby.

"Oh my God! Yunho is he with you?" You were relieved to find out the baby was ok.

"Yep, and although I'd usually send out a ransom note, I think I'm keeping him hostage for a while." He chuckled.

Hongjoong fumed as he walked out of his office.

"Heck you will! Give me back my son!"

❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

Seonghwa peeked his head into the room, 7 pairs of eyes staring at him intently. Hongjoong sighed softly.

"You're late." He told him.

"Sorry. Got caught up with something." Seonghwa apologized.

"Whatever. Just get in. You haven't missed much of the meeting." His leader assured him.

Hongjoong was about to resume speaking, but he, like the rest of the members watched as Seonghwa opened the door and went to take his seat, a baby carrier on his left hand with his baby daughter inside.

"Night light!" San exclaimed the nickname they all had for Seonghwa's daughter.

"Night fury got stuck with babysitting duty?" Yeosang raised an eyebrow.

Seonghwa glared at him, about to say something but was stopped by Hongjoong.

"Guys! Meeting! Focus ok?"

Hongjoong began talking once again, detailing about a government cargo ship that was soon to land in the city, containing secret weapons.

"Now, if our information is correct, it'll get here in-"

A soft and subtle sneeze interrupted him, followed by a chorus of 'aaaws' and 'ooohs'.

"She's the deadliest weapon ever!" San clutched his heart.

"Yeah! Who can resist that level of cuteness?" Mingi agreed, crouching down to poke her tiny nose.

"I know! Isn't she adorable?" Seonghwa beamed with pride at his baby.

"Guys, remember? Timeline-" Hongjoong tried to get their attention again.

"Has she started talking yet?" Jongho asked.

"No not yet. But she's babbling a lot more, mostly songs in movies or cartoons though." Seonghwa explained.

"Ooooh! Can she do the banana song?! Night light! Watch uncle Woo."

Wooyoung began singing the minions song, not really getting a reaction out of the baby and further causing Hongjoong's annoyance to spike up.

"One more interruption and I'm shooting you all in your legs!"

They all stayed quiet, not wanting to further anger their leader. Hongjoong let out a sigh of relief.

"Now, as I was saying-"

"Ba ba ba, ba na na." The baby interrupted him as she tried to sing the song Wooyoung was previously singing.

They all stared in shock and adoration at her.

"Ok, that's actually fucking cute." Hongjoong admitted.

Seonghwa only giggled as he picked up his daughter and kissed her cheek.

❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

Yunho tried shushing the whimpering baby underneath his desk.

"Buddy come on. You're going to get me in trouble. Now shush."

Having no alternative, he picked up his baby son, cradling him in his arms as he tried to keep him from making anymore noise. He cooed at him and even made funny faces, but the boy didn't seem to calm down.

"Why are you being like this?" Yunho pouted.

The baby nuzzled his face against his father's chest before opening his mouth against it. Yunho immediately pulled the baby a few inches off him.

"Ok I get it now. You're hungry. Please don't do that again. My body doesn't work like your mom's."

Setting the boy back in the carrier, Yunho reached inside the baby bag and got out the bottle and baby formula. He quickly mixed them together, careful not to spill any of it on his desk. He looked around and realized he had absolutely no idea how he was going to heat it up. When the baby began fussing again, he quickly stooped down, trying to quiet him down.

"Uhhh Yunho?"

Yunho hit his head as he quickly stood up, looking at Yeosang who was right in front of him with a folder. Yeosang noticed the baby bottle in his hand and snorted.

"Is that your new guilty pleasure?" He teased.

"I'm not in the mood Yeosang. In case you haven't noticed, I sneaked him in."

Yunho picked up his child and rocked him in his arms, trying to stop his crying.

"Hi junior." Yeosang waved.

Scanning the baby, Yunho and the bottle, Yeosang ended up deducing what was going on.

"Give me the bottle, I'll heat it up for you." Yeosang offered, taking the bottle away from him.

"You will? Thanks Yeo. I'd really appreciate it." Yunho thanked him.

"No problem..." Yeosang looked at the bottle, studying its structure and model.

"I kinda want to try out the new fire weapon I created and this might just be the perfect test subject..."

When he heard those words, Yunho quickly stopped Yeosang.

"A microwave will do Yeosang! Don't fucking use my son's bottle for one of your weird experiments!"

Yunho gasped when he realized he cussed in front of his kid.

"Don't tell your mom."

❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

Yeosang carefully weighed the powder into the brown paper bags, careful not to go above the amount he needed. His eyes trailed to the tiny hand that tried reaching up for the contents he had.

"No no no sweetheart. Don't touch anything."

He put what he had in his hands down and picked up his daughter, setting her down and making her rest on top of a stack of books he had.

"Ok. Here you go. Play with this. Your mom says you like it." He handed her the rattle that was shaped like a chicken leg before going back to concentrate on his task.

The baby shook the rattle a few times before becoming bored with it. Instead, she was fascinated by all the intricate colors and strange devices inside her father's laboratory. Looking next to her, she saw a display of assorted test tubes that had different liquids in them. Curiously, her hand reached out to grab the red colored one. At that moment, Yeosang had finished weighing the stuff out and placed them in a container. When he looked back, he saw his daughter pulling out the test tube.

"No don't touch-"

Yeosang quickly scooped the baby up and covered her with his body as the tube fell to the floor, not only splattering the contents, but immediately setting off a tiny explosion that spread a horrible smelling gas in the air. Yeosang covered his daughter's face as he quickly got them out of the room. At that moment, Jongho came running down the hall.

"What was that?!" He immediately asked.

"One of the test tubes I was working on." Yeosang explained, as he scanned his daughter to make sure she was all right.

"Seriously Yeosang?! We've told you time and time again to be careful! How did it even happen?"

Yeosang immediately turned to his daughter, who was merely sucking on her thumb, looking at him with the most innocent eyes ever.

"You're lucky it was one of the least deadly ones and I got you out of there in time. Otherwise we'd both be laughing ourselves to death." Yeosang chuckled at her and kissed her forehead.

Jongho shook his head.

"I swear to god, if your daughter becomes another crazy scientist like you, I'm joining another gang."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

The diminutive man strolled from one corner of the alley to another, sighing as he stared once again at his watch.

"Where the fuck are they?" He shook his head, hating people being late above anything else.

Finally hearing footsteps, he saw the two figures approach him. He smiled contentedly until he saw that one of them had a baby strapped to his chest.

"All right Changbin, we got the money now where's the drugs?" San asked, not yet giving him the bag of money.

Changbin looked at San, then back at the baby boy.

"Don't look at the baby, look at me." San gestured to his eyes.

Changbin raised an eyebrow at him before looking over at Wooyoung, who looked completely unfazed.

"Just don't even question it man." Wooyoung suggested.

Changbin hesitantly got out the package from his coat. He was about to hand it to them, but he stopped when he looked at the baby again.

"Don't look at the baby, look at me." San repeated himself.

"Look man! It's just feels completely unorthodox to make illegal transactions in front of an innocent baby ok?! Did you kidnap it or something?" Changbin scanned him.

San scoffed in offense.

"This is my kid! Can't you see the resemblance? He's as handsome as me."

Changbin raised an eyebrow.

"You're seriously bringing your kid.... you know what? Never mind."

Changbin opted for giving the package to Wooyoung and then taking the bag of money.

"Pleasure doing business with you."

San waved at him when he departed. As him and Wooyoung made their way back to the car, his son started babbling something incoherently. San looked down and patted his head.

"Yes I know he's a mean, grouchy dwarf. Don't worry about him."

❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲

Mingi sat down on the stool in front of the bartender, setting down the carrier on the chair next to him.

"I'm here." Mingi told the man who had his back turned.

"Oh Mingi you've come. Tell me what can I get-"

The pink haired man stopped when he saw the baby and pointed at her.

"Just give me my usual and don't worry about her. She's covered."

Mingi opened his trench coat and took out a baby bottle before taking the baby out of the carrier so he could feed her.

"You got the info Hyunjin?" Mingi lowered his voice.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes as he prepared him his drink.

"Mingi you brought a baby inside a bar. Forget trying to avoid unnecessary attention, everyone is already looking at you weird."

Mingi looked around, noticing a couple people staring at him as if he was crazy.

"Oh...right."

Hyunjin set the drink out in front of him before pulling out a folder and sneakily handing it to Mingi.

"Even got a few of the members' names gathered for you. Don't be fooled by their small numbers. These guys are very deadly and are slowly gaining momentum in the criminal world."

Mingi nodded and stuffed the folder in his coat. At that moment, his phone started ringing and he panicked when he saw who it was.

"Do me a favor. Hold her and cover her ears."

Hyunjin obeyed and cringed when Mingi fired a gun at the roof.

"I'm gonna need all of you to be quiet for a minute or else I'll put a bullet in your heads."

Mingi then quickly answered the phone, suddenly changing his tone.

"Hey baby. Oh nothing. I'm with Seonghwa, he wanted to see the baby.....no! I'm most definitely not working at the moment." He laughed awkwardly.

Hyunjin shook his head and looked down at the baby girl in his arms.

"Mind sharing some of your milk with me? I think I need it."

❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

"Wooyoung? Do you see the target?" Yeosang's voice echoed through his ear piece.

Wooyoung casually tilted his head to the side.

"No. There's too many people. " Wooyoung answered casually.

He looked down when he heard his daughter sneeze.

"Bless you." Wooyoung cooed at her.

"I'm literally trying to put a bullet through a man's head and you're giving me your blessings?" Yeosang asked.

"Not you idiot! My princess just sneezed and-"

"Oh my gosh! What a lovely baby you have!"

Wooyoung turned to find a young woman standing in front of him, twirling her hair in her finger as she looked at him and his daughter.

"Thanks..." Wooyoung answered.

"Is she yours?" She asked, stepping closer to him, reaching her hand out.

"Yeah...mine." Wooyoung shifted in his seat, moving the baby so she wouldn't touch her wandering hands.

Wooyoung tried not to cringe as the girl didn't seem to get the hint and continued talking to him.

"Want me to put a bullet in her head?" Yeosang offered.

Wooyoung immediately declined the offer as quietly as possible, not hearing what the girl said until she repeated herself.

"I asked if there was a mom in the picture."

She tucked her hair behind her ear before sitting down next to Wooyoung, her hand brushing on his shoulder.

"Cause if not.....I could help out in more ways than one." She bit her lip.

Before Wooyoung could even respond, he was saved when you suddenly showed up.

"I'm giving you ten seconds to run before I pull the trigger."

The girl froze when she felt a gun pointed at her back. Wooyoung waved.

"Hi honey." He smiled.

"Don't 'honey' me. First you take our daughter out on a mission and then I find some skank trying to take my place?" You scoffed.

"Should have taken my offer when you had the chance." Yeosang poked fun at him.

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

Jongho kept his eyes on the road, occasionally looking at the rearview mirror to check on the little boy in the baby seat.

"Getting sleepy there buddy?" Jongho chuckled when he saw the baby's eyes open and close slowly.

"Don't worry. After we deliver this package, I promise I'll take you to get ice cream......just don't tell your mom I've been feeding you that before you're old enough."

Jongho began to sing softly, hoping it'll help the baby sleep faster. However when he looked at the rearview mirror again, he noticed a strange looking car tailing right behind him.

"Huh....strange..... very strange."

Jongho gripped the steering wheel tightly. Looking back at his son, he noticed he was now fully awake.

"Buckle up buddy cause we're in for a fun ride."

Shifting the gear, Jongho immediately pressed down on the accelerator before rapidly making a u-turn, momentarily confusing the car behind him. Jongho drifted through the different alleys, hoping to loose the car, but it still seemed to catch up to him. His son on the other hand, seemed to enjoy the fun ride.

"Oh shit." Jongho cursed when he saw you were calling.

Pressing the button, he answered your call.

"I just got off work, barely going back. Think you can handle the boy for a little bit longer?" You asked.

"Take all the time. I'm going to be late too."

Jongho made a rather sharp turn that had your son squealing excitedly. You immediately sensed something was off.

"You're on a mission aren't you?"

"Yeah and we kinda ran into some chasers." Jongho chuckled rather amused.

You sighed softly.

"Where are you?"

"Gangnam district. Near the old abandoned factory." He answered as he continued trying to loose the car behind him.

"Give me 5 minutes and I'll be there."

Jongho couldn't help but bite his lip at your words.

"God baby, I love you so much."

He then turned his attention to his son who was still having the time of his life.

"Hear that bud? Mommy is gonna be joining us soon."

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.

[nastybuckybarnes]

In a Heartbeat  -  Six

Pairing: Fireman!Bucky X Reader 

Summary: You’ve always been careful with your heart. With your condition, you don’t exactly have any other choice. The last time you let someone in, you paid the price. A price you don’t plan on paying again. Until Bucky comes in and shatters your carefully crafted world.

Warnings: Fluff, Language, Implied Smut, Angst, Injuries, Angst,

Word Count: 2.9K

A/n: hi here’s the second last part! I hope you guys enjoy. I’m in a weird place mentally right now because there’s been so much going on in my family life that I have no idea how to process. But I hope you guys enjoy this because I really enjoyed writing it. We will have one more part and then this series will be finished!!!

Series Masterlist

~*~

The smell of coffee pulls you from your sleep.

Eyelids flutter open and you’re confused for a moment until you remember last night. A small smile spreads across your face and you stretch in Bucky’s bed, taking note of the sore spots on your body.

You push yourself to a seated position and take a look around the room.

Bucky’s gone, but you can hear him rummaging around in the kitchen.

You slowly leave the bed and walk to the bathroom, stopping on your way to pick up your discarded clothes.

After you’ve finished, you make your way to the kitchen, your heart filling with warmth when you see him.

He’s got his bare back to you as he prepares something, wearing nothing more than a pair of sweatpants.

“Morning,” you whisper, trying not to startle him. He glances over his shoulder and smiles at you. “Good morning.” You walk over to him, wrapping your arms around his torso and pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

He stops whatever he was doing and holds your hands, leaning into your touch and sighing.

“How’d you sleep last night?” He asks after a moment of silence, pulling a pan off of the hot element then turning around to look at you.

You smile up at him and he swears his heart melts.

You're so beautiful. Glowing and angelic in the early morning sunlight peeking through a partially opened window.

“Not too bad at all.” He smiles, leaning down to press a soft and sweet kiss to your lips.

“Yeah, same here. Got far more sleep than I should’ve, though,” he murmurs, trailing kisses down your neck. A soft sigh slips past your lips and your head falls back, granting him more access.

His hands find your hips and he hoists you up onto the counter, knocking a glass off and sending it shattering to the floor.

“Jesus!” You exclaim, jumping at the sound and hitting your forehead against Bucky’s. The two of you groan, the brunet’s eyes widening with fear.

“I’m sorry!” He exclaims, looking between the broken glass, your face, and your chest as if to see if your heart’s about to give out.

You smile softly at him and cup his cheeks gently, pulling his face up until he’s looking at you.

“It’s okay, James. I promise I’m not as fragile as you think. I can handle a few loud noises.”

He sighs and bumps his nose against yours a few times before lowering his head to the crook of your neck.

“I just don’t want anything to happen to you. I worry about you, (Y/n).” You wrap your arms around his torso tightly, one hand finding its way into his hair to massage his scalp.

“I worry about you too. Of the two of us, I think you’re more at risk than I am.” He chuckles against your clavicle and shakes his head, pressing his lips against your skin while mumbling “it’s not a competition to see who’ll die first.” Then he pulls away to stand upright and look at you with those piercing blue eyes of his.

“But just because my line of work is dangerous doesn’t ever mean that I don’t worry about you.” You lean up and kiss him softly, ending the conversation as your lips move more passionately against his.

He pulls away after a long moment, eyes dark and lips kiss-swollen.

“You stay up here while I clean this up. Then... how about we take this to the bedroom?” You nod, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you watch his muscles flex while he cleans up the broken glass.

~*~

You sit in front of your apartment in Bucky’s truck, his hand in yours as the two of you talk about your heart.

“I’m not as fragile as you think I am, James,” you reiterate for the thousandth time. He sighs, thumb rubbing over the back of your hand.

“I just want you to be safe, doll. I want what’s best for you.” His words anger you far more than they should and you pull your hand from his grasp.

“I wish everyone would stop assuming that they know what I need. Everyone always thinks that they know what’s best for me but they don't! I know what’s best for me. I’m sick of being treated like a child because of my illness. I just want someone to take my side for once and let me be me and live my life the way I want to! Is that really so much to ask?!”

Your outburst has your heart beating hard and, as if sensing that, Bucky tries desperately to defuse the situation.

“Doll, I do have your side, I just-”

“No! That should be it! If you had my side you wouldn’t be justifying treating me like a child, James.” He frowns, reaching for your hand only for you to pull it out of reach.

“I-I’m just gonna go.” You leave his truck without another word, frustrated and flustered but not willing to go back on what you said.

He sits in front of your building, three little words on the tip of his tongue and absolutely flabbergasted with the way the day has taken a turn. Things started off so well this morning.

You rake your hands through your hair, glancing at your phone as it starts to ring.

You can’t talk to him right now. Maybe later, but not right now.

Half an hour later, Natasha is blowing up your phone too.

You don’t want to talk to them.

You feel like shit for blowing up on Bucky like that but you needed to get your point across. All your life you’ve been treated like a child, even into adulthood. Nat hovers around you like a mother hen and now Bucky’s doing the same.

It absolutely isn’t unreasonable of you to want them to treat you like an equal. As much as they say that you’re more than your illness, you know that they still see it whenever they look at you, and you absolutely hate that.

~*~

“Miss (Y/l/n), can I use the washroom?” You glance over at the little girl before smiling softly.

“Not until Tommy comes back, Sammy. We can’t have too many of you out at one time, okay?” She nods, thumb in her mouth as she resumes her colouring.

You’re doing your rounds, making sure all the students are doing well when the blaring of the fire alarm goes off.

A few kids scream in fear, but you shush them quickly, eyes finding Wanda’s as ice shoots through your veins.

You’re not supposed to have a fire drill today.

“Okay everyone, single file. Follow me. Leave everything where it is, okay? We’ve gotta get out just like we always practiced. Right outside onto the field, c’mon,” Wanda says, standing up and leading the way out of the classroom. You stay at the back, waiting until all the children are out of the room before closing the door and following after them.

You descend the stairs, dark clouds of smoke already filling the hallways and making kids cry.

The school is hectic and chaotic as all the teachers try to get their students to safety.

As you reach the field you stop dead in your tracks, looking at Wanda with wide eyes.

“Tommy’s in the bathroom,” you whisper, horror plain as day on your face as you turn back to the burning building.

Smoke is pouring out of a few open windows, and the last few people are trickling out, some of them crying, some of them laughing, thinking it’s a game.

Sirens fill the air but you’re already running back to the building, knowing he’d be far too terrified to leave the safety of the bathroom.

“(Y/n) no! Wait for the fire department!” She shouts, but it’s too late. You’re already back in the building, a wall of heat slamming into you.

You take a few careful breaths then take the stairs two at a time in your haste to find the boy.

Your heart is already beating far too fast, you know that, but you can’t stop. Not now. Even as the smoke rises and the air gets stuffier you continue up the stairs.

Tommy’s somewhere in the burning building and you’re not going to leave him.

“Tommy!” You shout, squinting as a cloud of black clouds your vision right as you reach the second floor.

You crouch down, pulling the hem of your blouse up to cover your mouth and nose. It’s both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, it prevents smoke inhalation, but on the other hand, it’s preventing you from getting the oxygen you need.

“Tommy!” You try again, pushing your way through the familiar halls until you get to the boys’ bathroom.

You hear faint crying and you swear your heart shatters in your chest.

“Tommy!” You push into the bathroom and find Tommy cowering against the far wall, tears staining his cheeks.

“M-Miss (Y/l/n)!” He scrambles to his feet and launches himself at you, hugging you around your waist and sobbing against your chest. You kneel down with him, hugging him tightly and rubbing his back.

“I-I didn't know wh-what to d-do and I was s-scared!” He cries, sniffling against you and holding onto you for dear life.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. You’re okay. But we need to leave. Do you remember what your daddy told you about fires? Cause I’m gonna need you to be my personal fireman, okay?” He sniffles a few times then nods, pulling away to wipe the tears from his eyes and take a few deep breaths.

“Alright. Let’s go.” You push out of the bathroom and are instantly hit with intense heat and the stench of smoke.

You push Tommy’s head down and as out of the smoke as you can and lift your other hand to shield your eyes as you try to find an exit.

The staircase has been engulfed by the fire, the flames devouring the only exit besides a window. But those are bolted shut to prevent any accidents.

Your chest tightens and your vision blurs, heart hammering much too hard in your chest. Your ears begin to ring and your knees buckle and you know you need your pills. Or at the very least, you need to sit down.

“The art room! It has the big windows and the heavy doors! Daddy says that heavy doors block out the smoke better!” You nod and follow him into the art room, collapsing on your knees as soon as the door is closed. You can’t breathe. The air just won’t find your lungs.

“C’mon miss (Y/l/n)! The window! We need to break it cause then they can hear us.” He grabs your hand and yanks with all his might, and his determination is enough to have you forcing yourself to your feet and banging on the window with as much strength as you can muster.

Tommy’s pounding against it with all his might, and you can’t help the tears that finally fall down your cheeks as your legs give out.

“Keep trying, Tommy,” you rasp, chest aching and heart pounding. He looks at you in complete fear, not sure what to do.

“Miss (Y/l/n)?” He asks softly, crouching down next to you as you cough softly. You take a few slow breaths, your heart stuttering in your chest.

“Keep going, Tommy. You’ve got this. You’re a fireman, just like your daddy and your Uncle Bucky.” Bucky. More tears fall down your cheeks at the thought of him.

Your eyes fall closed, head lolling to the side as the last of your energy leaves you.

You wish you could apologize to him. Tell him that you love him, that you appreciate everything he does for you.

The ringing in your ears grows until it’s deafening. Until the sound consumes you and pulls you gently into darkness.

~*~

The fire bell rings and the men are all on their feet, grabbing their gear and pulling it on as swiftly as they can.

“Rogers! I want you to sit this one out,” Chief Fury says, his arms crossed over his chest. The men all slow for just a moment before resuming their haste, Steve the only exception.

“What? Why?” He’s never been asked to sit out of a job before. Fury waits until the other men have piled into the firetruck.

“Now, it could very well be nothing but the call... it’s for the elementary school. I know your little one goes there and I can’t have you on the cal- Rogers!” Steve’s got his suit on and he’s in the truck in record time, jaw clenched hard and hands balled into tight fists.

The men are silent, having pieced it together and not wanting to argue with their captain.

Steve will take the heat from Fury after. All that matters is making sure his son is safe.

Almost as if realizing that there’s not one, but two people emotionally invested in this case, the eyes turn to Bucky. The brunet has his own eyes pinned between his boots, fingers of his flesh hand trembling slightly.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Sam whispers, his usual joking demeanour long gone.

The rest of the ride is silent, but as soon as they pull up to the school the men are jumping out and Steve is barking orders at them.

“Sam, you go make sure the building’s empty. Buck, you-” but the brunet is sprinting over to Wanda, a look of desperation on his face when he sees the tears on hers.

“Where is she?” He demands, his chest heaving and his entire world on the brink of collapsing.

“Sh-she went back inside to find Tommy. They never c-came back out.” He stumbles back a step, directly into Steve who waits impatiently for the news.

“She went in to find him,” Bucky whispers, the world around him going quiet as he turns and focuses solely on the burning building, searching for any possible sign of you.

Steve’s face falls, his heart crumbles and his whole world shatters.

“Tommy.”

The two race to the building only to be stopped by Sam and Clint.

“Entire entrance and staircase are up. There’s no way to get in there unless we break a window.”

Steve takes a few careful breaths then nods.

“Work on getting it as contained as possible. We’ve got at least two still inside.” Sam’s heart hurts for the blond as he races around the building like a chicken with his head cut off.

“Tommy!” He shouts, hands cupped around his mouth to amplify his voice.

“Wait, Steve! Look!” Bucky points to a spot on the side of the building where a second thinner stream of smoke is leaving the building, this one in a different direction than the others.

A second opening in the building.

The two are running to investigate, and Steve’s heart bubbles.

“Tommy!” The little boy is crying in the broken window, head completely out to suck in as much fresh air as he can.

“Daddy!”

“Hold on, Tommy! We’re gonna get you!” He drops his head to his radio and calls for the truck to be pulled around.

“Daddy, Miss (Y/l/n) won’t wake up!” The little boy cries, his face dirty with tears and ash.

Bucky can’t breathe. He thinks he might be sick.

He’s definitely going to be sick.

He stumbles away from the building, away from the people and anyone who can see him and collapses on his knees, dry heaving into the grass while the others pull the truck around.

Steve's up the ladder and at the window, telling his son to move out of the way so he can break the window further.

“C’mon Buck. We’ve got a job to do. C’mon.” Sam helps him to his feet and Bucky nods, grinding his teeth together in a pathetic attempt at hiding his tears.

“Sam! Come give me a hand!” Steve’s voice says through the radio. Bucky follows to the truck, mind numb, body numb, and ears ringing.

“She’s in here, but her pulse is sporadic. We’ve gotta get her out now.” That lights a fire under the brunets ass and he’s nearly throwing himself to the truck right as Steve starts climbing down, Tommy clinging like a koala to his back with one arm, the other wrapped in a sloppy sling.

The ambulances are ready, lights flashing and stretchers at the ready.

Steve rushes his son over, his oxygen mask pressed against the six-year-old’s face.

“Set him down, c’mon.” He does as instructed and takes a half-step back to allow the paramedics room to inspect him.

Bucky’s eyes move from his nephew up to the window where Sam disappeared, his heart in his throat as he finally sees movement.

Sam emerges, his oxygen mask on your face and your limp body strewn over his shoulder.

A familiar head of red hair is pushing a stretcher right to the ambulance, ready to take your body as soon as Sam’s down.

He lays you down carefully and Bucky’s immediately at your side, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Buck, give us some space, okay?” Nat whispers, her voice fully professional, though he can see the pain in her eyes. He takes a deep breath but nods, stepping back and watching as you get rolled away.

A hand is on his shoulder and he glances over at the person.

“C’mon. We’ve got a fire to put out.”

[adversityfought-a]

-`ˏ    @oathofpromises​   ˎ´-

→   What is on your wish list? And Is there a ship you wish you could write more for?-Munday Meme 

(  Mun Questions  🪴  )

Where do I even begin…? There’s so many threads I’d love to explore, it’s kinda hard to rattle them off all off the top of my head… but as of late?

I guess to start? I have been craving more angsty threads tackling the theme of Death  &  my muse exploring the topic in conversation with another muse? Just all around confronting the actual topic they face on a near day to day basic, see what it means to them now  &  possibly what I meant to them back then, see how things changed over the ears from this constant exposure.

All in all explore threads where there’s some conflict internally with views  &  beliefs. It’ll be heavy, that’s for sure, but so far I have an amazing one going on with a friend, but hey if anyone ever wants to dig into the nitty gritty of this theme, I am always down!

Another one I’ve wanted to explore that is admittedly a guilty pleasure, is just Chris going feral or apeshit  -  dark side? Villain verse? Villain verse. I’m weak for corrupted heroes  &  good guys just losing that hope they held so tight, feeling like there’s no point in continuing on the fight, losing faith in humanity or those they believed in.

For Chris specifically I have been thinking a lot about it because of RE8 brainrot… but! Have been rolling around the idea that if he were to change sides, he’d for sure, basic verse wise where he just goes rogue, no external influences, it’d just be a decision he comes to internally after severe amounts of loss  &  failure, maybe his goals start off pure where he decides to try taking it out from the inside, gets involved in shady dealings  &  morally questionable stuff, maybe his own views shift at some point  &  his cynicism kicks into overdrive  &  BAM.

It’s a shift so subtle but it hits hard cause he could believe the ends will justify the means once he reaches the root or something in a weird anti-hero way, but it backfires or only comes to light that even as he gives it all up to try another angle at combatting Bioterrorism, it’s still all for nothing. ITS DARK BUT THATS ONE OF THE MAIN ONES I HAVE RATTLING AROUND.

Ofc I could also go for a good old fashioned infected verse or corruption through a typical villain, but I’d need to trust the other mun  &  know the muse better to allow it because I want DEPTH  &  CONTENT. I WANT TO BE INVESTED IF I GO THAT ROUTE. SO… AAAA

Another plot I’d love to explore is just memory threads?

Can be lighthearted  &  hopeful where he’s relearning older ones or gently reminiscing with friends or a partner over the past to fill the blanks in the lost memories he can’t remember. I just… adore that kind of deep vulnerability, the softness it can invite between both muses, the deepening of a bond through sharing possibly bad or traumatic memories, taking that leap to share the good  &  bad  &  the trust it has in general that he’d TRUST another muse to help be honest with him while doing so.

It has the potential to be angsty too, for possible manipulation, for old feelings to rise again at resurfacing memories or again can just be gentle  &  soft depending on what my partner decides. BUT YES I WILL ABSOLUTELY GO FERAL FOR ANY OF THESE.

AS FOR THE SHIPS  -  I am generally not.. uhhhh I KNOW I WRITE A LOT OF SHIP CONTENT HERE, but I do mean it when I say I’m not typically one to jump in with that as my goal first thing? I’m fairly content right now with the ones I do have going! But I’ll always be down to explore more with others if it’s discussed with me! I adore ships though, so long as it’s brought up with me, deadass I’ll try anything so long as it’s within comfort. I am hella weak thought for Chreon, Valenfield,  &  yeah k HeisenField  &  Chrisker got my ass in a choke hold rn, but again, as much as I adore those ships, it depends highly on muse compatibility.

Cannot… tell you how often I’ve tried to leap into shipping with another mun of a muse I love from a ship and it just never worked out cause muses clashed? I fear that happening so I usually wait a bit to see how they interact before poking or risking sending stuff >< 

LONG STORY SHORT  — these are a few of the ideas I have that I’ve been wanting to explore so much lately! I am.. awful at plotting or asking for them so, please, if you ever have an idea in mind, wouldn’t mind tackling these with me, please kick me in dms or hell even shoot an ask with a nod to em  &  we can work from there?

[joyaphoria]

with the flowers (8)

part eight: the chaos within

pairing: suna x f!reader

summary: if a teacher had been the one to catch suna dangling on the edge of inarizaki’s roof, he definitely would’ve been in trouble. except it wasn’t a teacher that caught him, it was you—the school whore. yea, he’s starting to wish it was a teacher.

word count: 1.2k

this is a retell of chapter six, but in y/n’s perspective the strikethroughs are supposed to be there re-read part six before reading this

© 𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢

directory | previous | next

one, two, three.

three hours seconds, he’s been staring at your house.

he’s not actually gonna come inside, is he? no, he thinks you house is pathetic.

he’s walking up the driveway; no now he’s on your path he’s on your path.

‘why are you here?’ “you’re here!” you stare smile at him, your eyes piercing into running along to the girl he brought with him.

more people, there’s more. run, get away. leave, go away.

“oh, and you brought—wait, is that your sister?”

it’s a stupid question. of course she’s his sister. now he thinks you’re stupid. you’re stupid you’re stupid, you’re stupid.

“my parents aren’t home right now, they thought i should bring her.” he scoffs replies.

he’s staring he’s glaring parents parents parents.

you stare at her pat her head, before closing the door moving aside to let them in. 

‘you coming was already too much.’ “don’t even worry about it don’t even worry about it,” you smile.

repeating sentences is pathetic weird. shut your mouth don’t do it.

send them away, show them you aren’t one to be messed with.

“i have a little sister you can play with!” you offer her your hand, and she hesitantly takes it. “don’t touch me.”

go away, go away please. leave us alone.

“hanakooo!” don’t come downstairs, stay upstairs please. strangers, they’re strangers you shouldn’t have brought here stay upstairs don’t come down stay upstairs don’t come down-

“this is aiko and suna.”

go back upstairs.

“look after aiko for me, okay?”

don’t get to close to this girl, hana. you don’t know her.

“how old is your sister?” suna asks, following you to the kitchen.

why does it matter to him?

“none of your business” “fourteen.”

it’s quiet it’s too quiet he’s gonna think you’re overthinking the question and that you’re being rude, you have to-

ask him back.

“same as yours?”

he nods.

hanako doesn’t do well with girls her age you shouldn’t have let that girl into your house especially not secluded in a room with your sister what if that girl hurts her what if she’s rude and hurts hanako’s feelings—

you make your way up the stairs and he follows you.

“don’t follow me.”.

-

laugh or he’ll think that you hate him.

you laugh again, so hard that you think you might throw up.

it’s quiet again, and you want it to stay that way. you want him to leave and allow you to bask in the silence peacefully, on your own. 

“why do you do it?” suna asks out of the blue, his back on your bed and his feet on the carpet, launching one of your stuffed toys into the air and catching it.

ignore him ignore him ignore him ignore him- “if you’re gonna ask a random question like that, i’m gonna need a little context, pretty boy.” you tease, jumping onto your bed and causing him to nearly fall off.

smile, smile, don’t let him pity you.

“’donate pussy for money’” he clarifies—and you want to drop dead—mocking your past statement. “why do you do it?”

‘why do you ask?’ “why do you ask?”

you weren’t supposed to say that out loud you were supposed to answer with a straight answer or else he’ll pity you he’ll think that you’re coming up with something to say because you’re pathetic and useless and—

“well i mean, you live in a perfectly stable house, your parents—” what will he say if i tell him that it’s only my mother will he pity me will he think i’m stupid will he-

 “—both have jobs, you have food, i don’t get why.”

of course he doesn’t get it, no one ever gets it.

tell him to mind his own business because you’re upset laugh because you don’t want him to think you’re upset.

he watches as you burst into yet another fit of laughter, holding onto your stomach as if you were in pain because you are, it hurts, everything hurts.

“i had dont have a dad.” you nudge him. “my dad committed suicide when he was seventeen—” too soon too soon too soon, change it now.

“—you know, jumped off of inarizaki’s roof.” better, much better better, much better.

suna frowns, furrowing his eyebrows. “that isn’t funny.”

that was insensitive that hit too close to home don’t let up so easily—don’t be a pushover you pathetic whore.

“oh come on, you know it is.” you look away smirk. “i wasn’t joking though, he really did commit. he wasn’t quirky enough to jump off a roof he wasn’t quirky enough to jump off a roof, but yea, he committed.”

you almost said it twice you almost said it twice.

he’s staring at you. did you say it twice? he’s gathering his thoughts.

he’s judging you he’s processing—this is a lot to process no it isn’t.

he’s gonna keep staring if you don’t do something let him.

“you look ugly when ur serious.” you admit, squishing his cheeks together. “ease up a lil.”

that was rude, take it back. that was sily; in a weird good way.

“straightforward much?” he licks the hand closest to his mouth, and you scream shriek, tearing yanking your hands away.

“i’m just saying!” you frown giggle, wiping your hand on his shirt. “it was way before i was born anyways.”

right, you forgot to add that. now he thinks you’re a traumatized freak.

“wait, but if he committed before you were born, then hanako—”

“has a different father, pervert, male, worthless-piece-of-shit, guy, person, asshole, dad, dad, dad, but he took off a long time ago.”

and he better not come back he better not come back.

he’s not satisfied with the answer he’s not satisfied.

“i do this for her, you know?” you say, once you’ve both ended up laying side by side on your bed. 

for hanako, say you do it for hanako

“for hanako. i wanna send her to a college in the us.”

it’s half true it’s the truth.

“does your mom know? like about any of it?” no she doesn’t, she wouldn’t care she’d be really upset.

“why hooking though? aren’t there better and safer options?” 

because you’re used to it.

“you mean like working as a cashier?”

too many people it’s too many people they look at you and they know they know you’re filthy you’re disgusting it’s 

too many people.

“yeah.”

how to justify how to justify how to-

“you’re probably right.” you shrug. “i guess i just like the attention,” 

liar.

liar

liar

liar

liar

“i like that people like my body, you know?”

kill yourself.

shut up

shut up

shut up 

shut up.

“it’s one of my worst best traits.”

its hell, i want to get away i want to get away.

die die die die

die.

notes:

—  i hope this gives a little insight into how much is going on in y/n’s head

—  it’s just utter chaos and jumbled words and thoughts and things that don’t make sense and things she wants to/can’t/doesn’t know how to say; so if this was confusing or hard to understand, it’s supposed to be like that

—  again, if you didn’t re-read chapter six, i recommend you do; the chapters are the same but the different perspectives change everything.

—  no one would be able to last a day in her head, let alone stay sane.

taglist: @hotaruaizawa @its-the-aerieljeane @yourlocalbabybird @bakudummy @sunahyejin @satorinnie @lilith412426 @zukoslosthishonor @rintarovibes @underiwa @m01k @rinsangel @iicherrycore @kamalymaly @lmaosuna @whorefornoodles​ @anngelllla​ @ohrintarou​ @call-me-lulu @imeowforu @tsuksdinonugget @namyari​ @bakugouswh0r3 @theblueslytherin

[gh0st-patr0l]

ADHD in DSMP

So about a week back, I made a post about Karl Jacobs (a bit of a passive aggressive one, I’ll admit, but I think it was justified), complaining that a lot of the ‘criticism’ I see about Karl is actually rather insensitive towards his ADHD. I got a lot of responses to that post, and the most common sources of confusion I saw were:

People not understanding what I was saying they should avoid being judgmental of, or-

People who didn’t know that Karl had ADHD or didn’t understand which behaviors were caused by it.

First of all, Karl has confirmed that he has ADHD.

(NOTE: Yes, I know he said ADD. ADD and ADHD used to be categorized as separate disorders, but in the most recent edition of the DSM, it was decided that they are both simply subtypes of the same disorder- ADHD is the correct technical term. ADD is still sometimes used as shorthand by some practitioners to diagnose primarily-inattentive ADHD, but it's a bit outdated.)

Secondly, that original post made me realize that a lot of people who may be well-meaning may genuinely not fully understand ADHD and its symptoms as well as they want to or think they might. If you aren’t aware, Karl isn’t the only one in the DSMP with ADHD- to my understanding, both Technoblade and Dream have confirmed that they have it as well. So, I thought it would be helpful to put together a comprehensive crash-course on ADHD symptoms and how they effect people’s behavior!

Now, before we go further, I want to address something- as I said earlier, I saw some people unsure of whether certain behaviors are ADHD or “just his personality”. I feel the need to point this out above the read more so people will see it. To answer this question, as someone with ADHD;

A lot of times, it’s both. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, meaning that it’s caused by the way your brain developed from birth. A lot of the symptoms and effects of ADHD are extremely influential towards the way we think, act, and behave, to the point where “symptoms” and “normal behavior” really don’t have a clean differentiation. This is why it’s technically classified as a ‘disorder’, instead of an illness. While certain aspects of it can require treatment, the condition itself as a whole is not something to be mitigated or eliminated- it’s a part of who we are as a person. This is also why sometimes, even if you don’t have ADHD, you’ll look at certain specific behaviors or experiences and go “Oh, but I do that too!”. A lot of ADHD ‘symptoms’ are just a bunch of normal traits or behaviors, but in combination with each other and some actually problematic aspects, form the appearance of the disorder.

So, what are you allowed to nitpick about it? Well, there’s no real ‘authority’ on this, and even if there was it certainly wouldn’t be me. But if you want my opinion? Nothing.

See, here’s the thing- what I was trying to say when I made that post was not that you can’t be critical of Karl. If you want to say something about his Actions, his Ideals, or the content he creates- sure, go for it, that’s fair. I will agree that there are some very valid and constructive points to be made. But when you post ‘criticism’ about the way he speaks, his interests or preoccupations, his personal behaviors? That’s not criticism. That’s just judging someone.

And you’re allowed to think that stuff! Nobody can control what annoys or bothers them. It doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person. But you don’t need to be vocal about it. You can keep your mean thoughts to yourself. And if you do make posts or communities or whatever about judging someone for things they can’t change about themselves, don’t call it “criticism” or try to morally justify it. It’s not productive or righteous, it’s just rude. Nothing else.

Anyway. Back to Education!

The following will be a descriptive list of visible ADHD behaviors, using Karl’s behavior as examples.

I feel the need to add a disclaimer here- I am not a mental health professional. However! I have ADHD myself, I have taken some psychology courses and done a Lot of research into this stuff, and I’m the daughter of a therapist with access to a DSM. While I’m not an expert, I’d like to think I’m fairly well versed and knowledgeable on at least ADHD. (That being said, if by chance anyone who Is a professional sees this post and notices mistakes, by all means let me know and I’ll fix it!!)

WHAT IS ADHD?

You’re here for the behaviors more than the science, so I’ll keep this short and sweet. ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (Known in the past as Attention Deficit Disorder). Despite its name, the root problem of ADHD is not in the person’s ability to pay attention, but their brain’s capability to manage itself. In simple terms, people with ADHD have a lot less control over what their brain does and wants. This results in some behavioral differences along with some personal challenges, namely a difficulty with attentiveness and self-discipline.

Now, onto the symptoms!

ATTENTION

This is perhaps the most visible and pervasive of the ADHD symptoms, hence why it’s the namesake. Inattention is a lack of focus and an inability to stay present and occupied with certain tasks or thoughts.

Because ADHD impairs self-management of the brain, people with it have an extremely hard time directing themselves anywhere but where their brain instinctively wants to go. This results in inattentiveness and the easiness of distraction that is often mocked or stereotyped for people with ADHD.

Here are some examples of how Karl can sometimes display his inattentiveness;

When he has an idea that he seems passionate about, only to drop it or switch to something totally different without warning soon after (either forgetting or getting bored of his original idea).

When he sets out to do something like a build, works on it for a short amount of time, and then immediately gives up or gets someone else to do it.

When someone else is talking and he totally zones out. (NOTE: While I wont make a whole section for it because it’s not easily observable, maladaptive (constant and intrusive) daydreaming is a common ADHD symptom as well!)

It’s important to remember that the whole problem with ADHD is that we can’t control when or what we focus on. When someone with ADHD zones out during a conversation or activity, it doesn’t mean they’re doing it on purpose, and they likely don’t mean any offense! We often are trying our best to listen or participate, but our brain just wont cooperate.

However, inattention is not the only way ADHD effects our focus. There’s also what’s called hyperfocus or hyperfixation, which is when we are so absorbed into a single subject, task, or idea that it is extremely difficult to get us to think about or do anything else. This is usually because our brains have found something that is getting those satisfaction chemicals flowing, and it’s clinging to that with everything it’s got.

People with ADHD will often experience brief periods of hyperfocus. Think of how Karl talks about spending hours straight working on a build or project without eating or drinking, or how he’ll sit down to play a game with someone and end up going six hours without even noticing.

There are also hyperfixations, where someone with ADHD becomes extremely preoccupied with a certain subject, topic, etc. for a period of time. These can be short term- personally, my hyperfixation can sometimes change as quickly as a couple weeks at a time. However, it can also be long term. Karl has been obsessed with Survivor since the second grade- not to mention his memorabilia, rambling, and constant references to Kingdom Hearts.

HYPERACTIVITY/STIMMING

This is a BIG one for Karl. I should clarify; ‘stimming’ is not a technical term, and in professional situations these behaviors are just referred to as Hyperactivity. However, I personally like the term stimming much more and find it far more accurate to what the behaviors actually are, so I’ll be using that instead for this post.

If you’re not already familiar, ‘stimming’ (derived from ‘stimulation’) is an unofficial term used to describe consistent and abnormal patterns of physical and vocal behavior typically expressed by people with ADHD and ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). This includes things that people usually call fidgets or tics.

(NOTE: There are differences in how people with those two disorders stim. This post will explain stimming specifically from an ADHD perspective! ASD stimming is caused by very different factors and presents itself in much different ways. Do your own research if you’re curious!) 

There are two major observable forms of stimming- physical and vocal. Karl expresses both VERY often! I’ll use examples for each type;

Physical Stims: Flapping his hands/arms, jumping up and down when he’s excited, twisting around into odd positions in his chair, throwing, hitting, or tapping things, standing up and pacing around when he’s hyped up or laughing, twisting his rings, etc.

Vocal Stims: When he gets excited and repeats a certain phrase incessantly (Think any variation of “I’m popping off”), making certain repetitive noises while he’s focused on something or bored (”la la la”, the meow-noises, the weird heart-beat noise, etc.), singing or humming, tongue clicking.

It should be noted here that it’s pretty common for people with ADHD to get “stuck” on certain phrases or noises, and be unable to stop repeating them (reminiscent of echolalia, a symptom of ASD, but not the same thing). Think of how Karl might sometimes keep making a weird noise for an extended period of time even though it’s not that funny, or that one time he was physically struggling to keep himself from singing the Bakugan theme. These repetitions are completely impulsive and trust me, we usually know how annoying it is while we’re doing it, but we physically cannot stop.

ADHD stims are caused by the fact that the barrier between our brain and body is much weaker than a normal person’s. Because of this, most ADHD stims are actually very positive expressions of joy, excitement, or enthusiasm! Y’know how when you get excited, you feel like you wanna jump or dance? The ‘hyperactivity’ of ADHD is basically just that, but we don’t have the self-control to Not do it.

Stims can be caused by negative feelings like overstimulation, but in ADHD this is not nearly as common. Usually, the most negative reason we’ll stim is when we’re bored- in that case, our brain isn’t getting the Constant Stimulation that it naturally wants, so stimming is a way to make our own.

Whatever the cause, stimming is natural and impulsive. While different people experience it to varying degrees, those who regularly stim typically have little to no control over it. Suppressing stims is very hard and very frustrating to do.

Besides that, like I said- ADHD stims are often an expression of joy, excitement, or enthusiasm. They’re a beautiful thing that shouldn’t be seen as shameful or annoying!

BEHAVIORAL DIFFICULTIES

ADHD is a disorder which causes a lack of self-control. Naturally, this means that people with ADHD are inherently reckless, impulsive, and struggle with a lack of self-discipline that they cannot fix.

Of course, people with ADHD do still have some level of self-control, and they are still responsible for conscious, long-term behavioral patterns and decisions. However, in regards to most things, they are much, much less capable of controlling themselves than an average neurotypical person is.

These are some examples of how this will often present itself in Karl;

Excessive rambling, dragging on a joke or conversation when it could and should probably have been dropped, etc.

Speaking over or interrupting other people (NOTE: As someone with ADHD- THIS IS ALMOST ALWAYS UNINTENTIONAL. I know it can seem rude or annoying but I promise, 90% of the time if someone with ADHD talks over you, they either didn’t realize or physically couldn’t help it. Please try to be patient!)

Lack of awareness towards social cues (NOTE: Unlike ASD, in which the person is incapable of/has problems fully understanding social cues, ADHD results in a lack of awareness. For whatever reason, we’re often just not paying close enough attention to pick up on things like body language, tone of speech, and facial expression as well as we would normally.)

Indecisiveness and overthinking

Bluntness, lack of subtlety

Unintentional dismissiveness, accidentally ignoring things/people (NOTE: Again, this behavior is purely accidental. In this case, it’s usually just the person genuinely not hearing or processing things.)

Making noises, speaking, joking, etc. at inappropriate times

There’s probably more, but I think you get the idea by now. A lot of the time, behavior which results from ADHD can be seen as rude, lazy, dismissive, or otherwise intentionally harmful. In reality, we just aren’t wired to navigate common social interaction with grace.

In Karl’s case, he’s clearly an incredibly sweet, empathetic, and kind-hearted person, if the various close friends who have talked about him are to be believed. Just because he talks over people or makes a poorly timed joke, that doesn’t mean he meant any harm. 

I think that’s about it for how much I wanted to point out! You can do more research if you’re curious, but I feel like this post should be enough to tell you what to keep in mind and be understanding about when talking about/making judgements on Karl, and other people with ADHD.

[mindmeltonabun-blog]

Tale of the Nine Tailed: Explanation of Lee Rang’s Death and Lee Yeon’s Ending Scene

Well folks...here we are once again. I did say that I would not write another TOTNT post unless there was anything worth discussing in the finale. I know many of you may feel utterly devastated or somewhat confused by how TOTNT ended, but I hope my post will be able to comfort you somehow. Anyways, let’s put on our thinking caps one last time for TOTNT!

Lee Rang’s Death

One of the biggest complaints many have had is the death of Lee Rang. Many said that the writer did him dirty while others wished that Lee Yeon and Ji Ah would’ve died instead. However, when we looked at his character arc’s as a whole, his death was justified. We mustn’t forget that he murdered hundreds possibly thousands in wake of his anger. 

Yes, he did do some good towards the end of his life such as taking in Yuri and Kim Soo, but that shouldn’t discredit all the atrocious acts he had committed in the past. Saving the life of two people doesn’t make up for all of the lives he had taken. Additionally, it is noted that Lee Rang did also assist the Imoogi’s group to bring the Imoogi back to life which caused for a slew of horrible events to occur in the first place. 

In the end, it was Lee Rang’s turn to sacrifice for the one he loved. Everything in TOTNT is cyclic if you think about it. First Ah Eum died to save Lee Yeon then Lee Yeon died to save Ji Ah. Therefore, it was only logical that it was Lee Rang’s turn to die for the one he loved which was Lee Yeon. 

Everything in life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine, what matters is what you do despite being dealt a bad fate. Both Lee Yeon and Ah Eum/Ji Ah weren’t dealt with a particularly good fate, but yet they still remained good people. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for Lee Rang. Yes, he was dealt with a bad fate with having been born with a mother who didn’t want him, but he was also lucky because he had been taken in by a brother who greatly cherished him. Instead of appreciating the time he shared with Lee Yeon and remaining a good person even after the events of Lee Yeon leaving for the Samcheon River, Lee Rang still decided to take a turn for the worst. 

Over and over again, Lee Rang had escaped the punishment he so rightly deserved. For example, even after killing those villagers, Lee Yeon spared his life. Lee Rang had been basically living off on borrowed time. In a way, Lee Rang was lucky that during that borrowed time he was able to resolve the misunderstanding he had with Lee Yeon as well as have a small family of his own. Finally, if there’s anything TOTNT has taught us, it’s that if something is the will of the afterlife judges, it will be carried out eventually. One can’t escape their punishment.

In my opinion, things could have gone a lot worse for Lee Rang in the end. Meaning he could have been reborn as a shrimp. Instead, the afterlife judges granted him reincarnation as a boy who had a mother who cared for him and granted him his last wish which was to meet his brother again. He got all of wishes fulfilled. Thus, it was a satisfying ending for Lee Rang. 

Update 12/07/2020: Does Lee Yeon Meeting Reincarnated Lee Rang Indicate Many Years Have Passed?

No, it doesn’t. The team probably wanted to use the same child actor (Joo Won Lee; DOB: 05/03/2011) as to imply that Lee Rang had been successfully reincarnated. Sure, they could’ve used someone who was a few months old, but how then would Lee Yeon recognize Lee Rang ? Remember that Lee Yeon only met Lee Rang when he was around 9 years old. There would be no way for Lee Yeon to recognize what a few months old Lee Rang could’ve looked like. Get it ? Again, Lee Yeon meeting reincarnated Lee Rang happened in 2021!

Why Does Lee Yeon Still Have His Gumiho Powers?           

Initially, when I first watched this I was beyond shocked, left confused, and was rethinking my opinion of Lee Yeon as a good person. However, once I watched it with subs and then did a little research into how Gumihos can become human, the ending scene made sense. Again, everyone should’ve taken Jo Bo Ah’s advice of looking up myths and see to how they pertain to whatever happened in TOTNT.

Anyways, in legends, Gumihos can become human in the following ways:

1)    Refrain from killing and eating humans for 1000 days

2)    The human who found out a Gumiho’s true nature, must tell no one of its secret for 10 years

3)    Over a period of 100 days (other versions say 1000 days or ~3 years), Kumiho must not be detected by the human they are married to.  If the Gumiho fails on this quest, they will lose any chance of becoming human and will be a Gumiho for 1000 years

4)    Gumiho must consume the livers of 1000 humans over 1000 years. If they do not do this by the end of 1000 years, the Gumiho will dissolve in foam/bubbles

In particular, the ending scenes was in reference to #3. When Lee Yeon had came back to life, he was still technically a Gumiho hence why he could enter the Office of the Afterlife. I know you might ask well why didn’t Taluipa or Shin Ju sense he was still a fox? Because at the same time Lee Yeon was human, but only during the day or nights when there wasn’t a full moon (read further below for an explanation). Additionally, Lee Yeon probably didn’t tell Shin Ju because he didn’t want there to be any possibility that information would get leaked to Ji Ah. Better safe than sorry was Lee Yeon’s personal philosophy!  

Although, Lee Yeon did come pretty close to being discovered as a Gumiho when he let it slip that he knew that their child would be a daughter. This all goes back to the intro in Ep 1 where it is said that Gumihos have the “ability to see miles ahead”. Luckily for Lee Yeon, he convincingly tricked Ji Ah and played it off as he was just saying weird things.

Until his 100 days were up, Lee Yeon had to keep his Gumiho nature hidden from the only person who mattered which was Ji Ah. Let’s be honest here, it’s really hard to trick Ji Ah so Lee Yeon had to be super careful around her. Usually in legends, Gumihos fall short of reaching the 100 days because they are discovered by their betrothed. During Lee Yeon’s 3 months transitional phase of becoming human, a situation arose that could’ve have caused Ji Ah to discover that Lee Yeon was still a Gumiho aka Mr Samjae entering into Ji Ah’s life. 

This caused a problem because whatever misfortune befell on Ji Ah it would also inadvertently affect Lee Yeon too. Meaning that if Lee Yeon didn’t get rid of the Samjae, it could cause Ji Ah the misfortune of finding out Lee Yeon still was a Gumiho, thus ruining his plan of ever becoming human. 

The only way anyone could tell Lee Yeon was still a Gumiho was to have seen him during a full moon. This was in reference to how in legends, werewolves (also in the same canine family as a fox) can only undergo transformation into a wolf when there was a full moon (symbolistic of metamorphosis). So while in the transitional state of Gumiho and human, Lee Yeon was able to take advantage of there being a full moon to be able to transform into a Gumiho. Subsequently, Lee Yeon then used his Gumiho abilities to rid of Mr. Samjae Spirit. Thus, Lee Yeon eliminated a potential threat that could have caused Ji Ah to find out his Gumiho nature before the 3 months of remaining undetected was completed.

Flash forward approximately 3-4 years later after Lee Yeon’s face off with the Samjae, Lee Yeon is now seen as having been successful at becoming a full human as well as having daughter with Ji Ah as seen here in the following pictures (family picnic). My only complaint is that the production/editing team ended up deciding to not include the following scene. I do not know whether it was their decision or the writer’s to not include this. There could be numerous reasons why such as they had wanted to leave the possibility of there being a season 2 or there was limited time allotted for the length of ep 16 or the writer had wanted to leave an open ending. Whatever the reason, I do hope we will eventually show this to us. In doing so, they would give so many of us the proper closure we needed for TOTNT!

Side note, it looks like Lee Yeon and Ji Ah did end up introducing their daughter to her adoptive grandparents. Awww!

Updated 12/07/2020: Timeline of Samjae + Lee Yeon’s Transitional Period

There were also a bunch of questions concerning when exactly the whole scenes with Ji Ah and Lee Yeon had occurred. This occurred in 2021.

Samjae is believed to occur over a three-year period, and follows calculations based on the twelve zodiac signs. The first of the three years is known as deulsamjae (Kor. 들삼재, lit. entering the three calamities), the second, nuulsamjae (Kor. 누울삼재, lit. middle of calamities), and the third, nalsamjae (Kor. 날삼재, exiting the three calamities). The first year in this three-year cycle is supposed to be the most unfortunate. 

Source: https://folkency.nfm.go.kr/en/topic/detail/4151

So doing a little math, one will be able to see what years the Samjae entered (deulsamjae), remained (nuulsamjae), and then exited (nalsamjae). So the Samjae entered into Ji Ah’s life in 1994, 2003, 2012, and 2021. The cycle of every 9 years refers to the time period from one Deulsamjae year to the next (not every 9 years from her year of birth). For example, 1994 + 9 = 2003, 2003 + 9 = 2012, and 2012 + 9 = 2021.

What the show was trying to convey is that when Mr. Samjae came into Ji Ah’s life, it also coincided at the same time as Lee Yeon’s 3 months transitional period. Additionally, there were some who asked, “Aren't we to assume that many years have passed because Lee Yeon did say first root canal, first picnic, first snowfall, etc ?”. No, I took that scene as him mentioning things he either already did or will eventually experience.

Anyways, I really didn’t think I needed to point all of this out because I had assumed you all would’ve put on your thinking caps by now!

Last Remarks.

I hope that this post was able to resolve any confusion many of you may have had about the last episode. The writer did truly keep us on our toes until the very end. But with a little research into myths as well as analyzing everything as a whole, one should’ve been able to understand where the writer was coming from. Again, I want to give a big thanks to the cast, crew, and writer for all their hard work to give us TOTNT!

[phykios]

this one is dedicated to mi amor mari @perseannabeth, who is a beautiful bird and a wonderful friend and i am v v vvvvv grateful to have crossed the airwaves with her :”)

Today Was A Fairytale [read on ao3] T, modern royalty, fun at disneyland!

She stares at him. 

He stares back. “What?”

“Really?”

“What?”

“You really think this is going to be enough?” Annabeth points at her head, the blue Yankees cap squishing her curls. 

“Of course! It’s the Clark Kent effect.” As if to underline his point, Percy slips on his fake hipster glasses, except that stupid grin of his is too bright not to draw attention. 

“That’s not a real thing.”

“Sure it is. Studies show that glasses are actually good enough to alter your appearance if someone doesn’t know you well.”

“Then why didn’t you bring a pair of glasses for me?”

“Because your hair is definitely the prettiest thing about you,” he says, automatically tugging an unruly curl which peeks out from under the brim, a gesture so practiced she almost doesn’t register it--until he blinks, dropping his hand, blushing lightly. “I mean--the most noticeable thing. You know. A hat should be fine.”

He looks away. Heat rises to her face, too. Because it’s so hot out, obviously. 

“Anyway,” he mumbles, “um. No--no one’s going to give you a second look if your hair is hidden.”

Chewing her lip, Annabeth can’t help but worry. Percy’s face is extremely well-known, possibly more than hers, and they’ve both spent the better part of three weeks with their faces plastered all over the media on their diplomatic trip. This is probably a really, really bad idea. Then, a thought occurs to her. “How about,” she says, perking up, “you give me your glasses, and I’ll give you mine.” From her backpack, she fishes out a pair of sunglasses, big and nondescript. He’ll practically be wearing a superhero mask with these.

Percy smiles again, and Annabeth thinks she might fly. “Perfect.”

Which is how Her Royal Highness Anna Elisabeth Ingrid Irene of Sweden and His Serene Highness Perseus Alexandros Ioannis of Thera play hooky from their day of boring meetings, insufferable dignitaries, and stuffy security guards, to go see the eighth wonder of the world: Disneyland Resort in California.

And how Annabeth eats her words as they make it past the security gate unchecked. “Eh?” He beams, nudging her with his elbow. “Eh?”

Rolling her eyes, she shoves him back. “Shut up.”

***

[description: a tiktok video which depicts a line at Disneyland. the op, a black girl with braids, covers her mouth and looking into the camera, turning the camera to focus on the two people behind her. one is a tall boy with black hair and sunglasses, and the other is a blonde girl with a yankees hat and glasses. both are white. video text reads: “p sure the people behind me are prince percy and princess annabeth??? um?????”. background audio is a dubstep remix of the fight theme from undertale. end ID]

***

Maybe it’s a little weird, on account of her being actual royalty and all, but Annabeth has always been interested in princesses, both as a matter of historical record (history is awesome) and in the general sense. Like millions of other people, she, too, was raised on Disney movies and tales of princesses and true love, and she was just as captivated as the rest of them. She and Percy used to watch the Disney catalogue whenever their families held state visits for each other, staying up into the small hours of the morning, sharing some popcorn and singing along. 

Luckily for Annabeth, her favorite princess is holding a meet and greet at the Royal Hall.

“Excuse me,” Percy says, approaching Princess Ariel. Well, her cast member, anyway. “Could I get a photo for my friend?”

“Of course!” she trills, her blue eyes sparkling. “It would be my pleasure.” Holding her hand out, perfectly poised and graceful in a way that would impress even Annabeth’s stodgy etiquette instructor, she smiles, warm and welcoming, pivoting to bring Annabeth in for one of those weird, semi-awkward half-hugs. “What’s your name?”

“Anna,” says Annabeth. Hey, it’s not untrue. She’s a little leery of using any of her names, but Anna is common enough. Annabeth? Not so much. Even with her glasses and hat disguise, a little paranoia is justified, she thinks.

“It’s so wonderful to meet you, Anna,” she says, cheerful, with all the grace and charm of someone who doesn’t spend hours saying the same thing over and over again to excitable, temperamental children. What a trooper, she thinks.

“Don’t you recognize a fellow princess when you see one, your highness?” Percy says, grinning that stupid, smarmy grin of his. 

Annabeth glares. Oh, he thinks he’s so damn clever. 

“Oh, of course,” says Ariel, smoothly. “How could I have thought otherwise? Your highness.” And she curtsies to Annabeth, a short dip, her hand placed delicately against her chest. “Perhaps I can introduce you to my friend Anna, princess of Arendelle?”

Still smirking, Percy takes some more pictures, trapping Annabeth into smiling for the camera. She can’t be glaring daggers in her pictures, nor can there be video evidence of her kicking him--no matter how much she wants to.

And she definitely doesn’t miss the way Ariel not-so-subtly checks Percy out, eyeing him up and down.

“You fucking asshole,” she hisses as they leave the photo area, swatting him lightly, and he giggles. 

“Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

“Ugh, I hate you so much.”

It’s hard to stay mad at him, though she definitely tries as they enter back out into the park proper, giving him just the barest hint of a cold shoulder. 

“Aw, come on,” Percy says. “I was just teasing.”

“You shouldn’t go around tempting fate like that,” Annabeth says. “Do you want to cause another international incident?”

Percy winces, no doubt remembering the Gateway Arch incident of 2008. 

“If someone recognizes us, we don’t have Zoe or any of her team to protect us,” Annabeth goes on. “Not that I think anyone here would try to hurt us, but…” But it’s a little nerve-wracking, being on her own like this. She hasn’t been alone like this for a really long time.

Wincing, Percy rubs the back of his head. “I guess I forgot you’re a little higher profile than me. Sorry.”

She doesn’t like to think about it, but it’s true. Percy, by his nature as the younger son of a largely defunct royal house, doesn’t have quite the same number of… issues… that someone like Annabeth might have.

Deflating, she uncrosses her arms. “It’s okay.”

“I should have asked you first.”

“It’s really okay,” she says. “No harm no foul.”

“Do you want to get out of here?” he asks, entirely serious. “I can call someone up.”

She knows just how long they’ve planned this, how many favors he’s called in and policies he’s sidestepped. Backing out now would just be a waste of a day. She shakes her head. “It’s fine,” she says. “I’m just… feeling a little exposed, I guess. But, I don’t want to ruin all our plans. Let’s keep going.” She grabs his hand, squeezing a little.

“...Okay,” Percy says. “But say the word, and we’ll call it a day. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Like he doesn’t have any other expression today, he smiles at her again.

It hits her, suddenly. He’s so much taller than she remembers. Once upon a time she used to be taller than him; now, he’s basically a whole head above her. 

It’s annoying. But also… not.

Spying something over her shoulder, his eyes light up, and he practically gasps. “Cinderella!” he points with his free hand, like a five-year old. “Come on!” And he takes off to one of the park corners, dragging Annabeth along with him. 

He has to wait in line behind a pair of twin girls, six or seven years old by the looks of it, in identical Cinderella dresses for a photo, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, and when it’s finally his turn, he nearly trips over himself to go up and ask for a photo. 

Cinderella agrees, and now Annabeth is relegated to the job of cameraperson. Percy slides in next to the princess, his hand on her waist, but, ever the respectful gentleman, loosely held, so the cast member can slide out of his grasp without any difficulty at all.

Taking a few shots, it does look kind of strange to have Cinderella’s beautiful, shining face, and Percy’s enormous sunglasses blocking his. “Take off your glasses?” she says, lowering her phone for a second. 

Dutifully, Percy slips them off, smiling again for the camera. 

Cinderella’s smile doesn’t falter, a credit to her professionalism, but Annabeth can see her eyes widen, just a touch.

Annabeth snaps off a few more photos, “Got ‘em!” and Percy once again gushes over the princess, thanking her for her time. Grabbing Annabeth’s hand again, he practically skips off, leading them in the direction of a nearby candy shop. 

***

me: IM SHAKING GUESS WHO I JUST TOOK A PICTURE WITH????

sis: prince percy?

me: HOW TF DID YOU KNOW

sis: its on twitter already

***

They’re walking along, Annabeth slurping up a Dole whip, when she suddenly stops in her tracks, outside of one of the many, many gift shops. “Wait up a second.”

“Hm?” Percy says, around the giant lollipop in his mouth. 

“I want to get some Mickey ears.” 

Very quickly they get lost in the sea of Disney merchandise, walking the labyrinth of Star Wars and Marvel and Pixar goods. There’s a surprising amount of black for the so-called happiest place on Earth, but things do brighten up when Annabeth finally turns a corner and finds the enormous selection of Mickey ears. It’s a wash of sparkles, flowers, bows, and occasionally characters, for children and adults alike. Annabeth eyes a pair designed like Baby Yoda, eyes wide and ears adorably huge, before she fingers a pair of white Mickey ears that have a bridal veil attached to them, contemplating its counterpart, the black ears for the groom, each ear emblazoned with a sparkling silver “Happily Ever After.”

She looks around. Where did Percy wander off to, anyway? 

Well, wherever he is, hopefully he hasn’t gotten mobbed by a horde of excitable fangirls. Given that she can’t hear any screaming--well, any unusual, non-Disneyland-relevant screaming--that’s probably a good sign. 

Running her fingers over the ear selections, she finally picks out a pair of silver sequined earrings with a shiny gold bow, a tiny, rhinestone Cinderella’s castle placed delicately in the middle. 

Yeah. This one. 

Percy finds her as she is paying for her ears, a pair of his own already on his head, red balloons inside of plastic circles. The sunglasses, she notes with a tinge of nervousness, are tucked in his shirt, and not on his face, protecting his identity. “Oh, check mine out--they light up!” he says, giddy, pressing the button on the side, not that she can tell in the brightly lit shop.

“That’s not why I was looking.”

Walking out of the store, ears firmly in her possession, she looks around again. Percy’s face is out there for the world to see, and no one is giving them a hard time. 

And her hat is really sweaty. 

Ah, fuck it.

She removes the Yankees cap, shaking out her sweaty curls, sliding the ears on in its place.

And the glasses, for good measure.

“Cinderella?” Percy asks.

“I thought you’d approve.”

Outside the shop, next to a corn dog cart, Percy pulls her aside, out of the way of a whole classroom’s worth of children, holding up a plastic plag. “So, confession.”

“Percy…” He didn’t. “We said no gifts!” They had agreed to it that morning!

“Well, see,” he says, fumbling around in the bag, pulling out a black t-shirt. “I saw this, and I thought--I thought you might like it.”

He unfolds it, and Annabeth frowns at the shirt design. 

It’s… a drawing of a man in a purple mask against a solid black background, glaring at the viewer. Circling him, in distressed, white-grey military font, are the words “BARON ZEMO,” and the logo for the show he must star in, Marvel’s The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. She doesn’t really watch superhero shows, though, and she’s pretty sure Percy doesn’t, either. Maybe he’s started this one and he really likes it? “Thanks,” she says, confusion coloring her voice despite her best efforts. 

But he doesn’t look too disappointed. “I was looking through their pride merch, and they didn’t have any stuff with the ace flag, which totally sucks, but then I thought that maybe you might like something a little more subtle? So, yeah.” He shakes it. “Ace pride!”

Oh. Oh, this boy. 

She remembers, so vividly, visiting his father’s summer home on Kalymnos, a few years ago, the summer she turned nineteen, waking up to a banging in the kitchen, noisy pots and pans making a real racket. Granted, it had been one in the afternoon, and Annabeth probably should have been awake sooner, but she had stumbled out of the guest room into the kitchen, rubbing sleep out of her eyes, to the sight of Percy wrestling with the standmixer, making bright, neon purple frosting. The night before, sometime around three or four AM, that weird, liminal hour where the shadow of night just starts to recede, the sky a sweet, soft, dusky blue, she had come out as demisexual to her best friend, saying the words aloud for the first time ever. Loopy from lack of sleep, the moment had passed without much fanfare.

But Percy, dark-circled and still yawning, had woken up early to make her a chocolate cake. By the time she had woken up, he had baked the cake, chilled it, and made two out of the three frosting colors, a beautiful, moist, dark chocolate cake which ended up being frosted with a marbled mix of purple, black, and white, all folding into each other into a kind of colorless, grey sugar. 

Here, now, in Disneyland, she throws herself at him, wrapping his arms around his neck. His arms automatically come up to circle her, hugging her tight. 

She had been worried it had been some kind of defense mechanism. A young girl with an alarmingly high profile, Annabeth had been the subject of intense scrutiny with regards to any romantic entanglements, with critics, tabloid reporters, and fans alike attempting to invent gossip-worthy relationships with every boy she ever talked to--most usually Percy. They did grow up in the public eye together, attending all kinds of events and functions together over the last fifteen or so years. And they did tweet at each other. Like, a lot. They even had their own portmanteau hashtag. But no relationship ever materialized.

She thought maybe she was just being stubborn, unwilling to play the media game. But it hadn’t been stubbornness. It wasn’t about shyness or inexperience. It was real, and it was her.

And Percy hadn’t even blinked.

“I love it,” she murmurs. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” he says, swaying her from side to side, just a little. “It was my pleasure.”

***

What’s happening: #percabeth (Entertainment • trending)

@kndrck__ STREAM CHROMATICA: um @TheraUS @SwedenRoyals i think i found your sick royals? #percabeth #disneyland

@wasabiviking: omg werent they supposed to be at some hospital opening today #percabeth

@ChampionSno brando he/him: LMAOOO NOT #PERCABETH PLAYING HOOKY LIKE IT’S ROMAN HOLIDAY

***

“Holy shit,” Percy moans, his mouth full of food. “Oh my God. Dear God in Heaven.”

Annabeth kicks his ankle under the table. “Don’t be rude.”

He swallows, eyes fluttering. “Oh my God, Annabeth. Holy shit. This is the best damn sandwich I’ve ever had in my entire life.”

“A monte cristo?”

“A deep-fried monte cristo! In sweet batter!” Taking another bite, he moans again, just this side of indecent. “Oh my God I love Americans. They are absolute culinary geniuses.”

“Better than Bistrot Chez Rémy?” They had both been to Disneyland Paris, separately, sadly, and Percy had recommended the restaurant to her with great enthusiasm for her upcoming trip. As usual, he was spot on with his food recs. 

He nods, eyes closed in rapture. “By a mile.”

“You’ll have to learn to make your own when we get back home, then.”

He jolts, straightening up, cheeks full of food. Roughly, he swallows. “You’re right! I need to take notes.” And he takes out his phone, hurriedly typing down whatever scent and flavor notes he must be able to discern. “This is definitely challah…”

Plucking another piece of chicken with her fork out of her jambalaya, Annabeth lets her attention wander a little, content to watch the passengers on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride as they float on beside them, down in the artificially constructed bayou river. 

Truth be told, she’s kind of tired. They’ve been walking around all day, and even with the brief reprieve of rides, her shoes really aren’t the kind that deal well with huge amounts of walking. She can already tell that she’s going to crash, and crash hard, whenever they get back to their hotel. You know, if their security detail doesn’t eviscerate them first. 

When Percy had first presented his idea to her, she had agreed without hesitation. They had had a long, dense schedule of public appearances planned for their excursions to the states, and the days had begun to seriously wear them out. Together, they had worked out the kinks, coming up with contingencies, negotiating things to do, all over Discord so no one else would get wind of what they were doing. Prior to this trip, she hadn’t seen him in… probably almost a year. She knows his father had been keeping him close to home for whatever reason, and Annabeth had had a handful of official functions to deal with. Their paths just never managed to cross, up until now. 

She hadn’t realized how much she had missed him. 

It’s lonely, growing up in the public eye. It’s cliche, but it’s true. And while Annabeth is afforded a metric ton of various intersecting privileges, she thinks she’d probably give it up in a heartbeat. It kind of sucks being a living, breathing tourist attraction. 

Growing up, she had her cousin Magnus, and a handful of other assorted children to play with, but she would never say that she had a best friend, or even a good friend, until she’d met Percy. Her mother and his father, famous for their mutual dislike, had put aside their differences to host some kind of charitable dinner for the disgustingly wealthy, and had trotted out their respective children in all their finery. Annabeth, being all of twelve years old, hadn’t really grasped the gravity of the event, and had gotten into an itty bitty little food fight with the then-unknown Prince Perseus, the result of an extramarital affair whom his father had so graciously decided to acknowledge and adopt. 

After that night, they became fast friends, and she decided that, if she ever left the royal life, she’d make sure to take Percy with her. He’s one of the few things that makes her life bearable. 

She thinks about it, sometimes. Renouncing her title. It wouldn’t exactly be hard. There was Magnus, just in line behind her. And it’s not like her family held any executive power anyway. They’re just fancy, historically interesting celebrities. 

Would Percy give up his, she wonders?

“Hey.”

“Hm?”

He looks at her oddly over their dessert, two vanilla-bourbon creme brulees. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she says. “Just tired. Long day.”

“You want to call it a night?”

She frowns. “What’s left?”

“Well, we did Space Mountain, Rise of the Resistance, Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean, a few others,” he counts off his fingers, “saw the princesses, got Mickey ears, ate at Blue Bayou… I guess all that’s left is walking around the pier, if you want.”

“Sounds like you two had a full day.”

As one, they almost leap out of their seats, Annabeth choking on her spit. “Jesus, Zoe,” Percy pants, his hand over his chest. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Oh?” says Zoe Nightshade, the head of their security detail, who had just apparently materialized out of thin air. “Funny. I could say the same about you, sir.”

Coughing, Annabeth eventually manages to get her air back. “Hey, Zoe,” she wheezes. “How was your day?”

“Eventful. Let me tell you about it in the car.”

Annabeth glances at Percy, who’s looking a little bit like a deer in headlights. Honestly, she’s surprised they even made it this far without one of their own tracking them down. Still, it looks like their game is up. 

...Or is it?

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a large tour group, approaching on the horizon.

“Sure,” Annabeth says, getting up. Luckily, they’ve already paid, so they can just head out; they don’t need to wait for another big group of people to cross their paths. “Will you let us go to the bathroom, first?”

Zoe squints. She’s always been able to see through Annabeth’s bullshit. But Annabeth has her best, Percy-patented baby seal eyes on, perfectly innocent. Surely, Zoe wouldn’t deny them a physical need such as relieving themselves?

After a moment, she nods. “Make it quick, if you please.”

“Of course,” Annabeth says, looking over at Percy, hoping he gets the message. He stands up, slow and stiff, eyes darting between the two of them. “We’ll be right back.”

They wander through tables and chairs towards the bathroom, her eyes always on the tour group as it just starts to pass by. Reaching out, Annabeth grabs Percy’s hand, and with a turn that would make her track coach proud, sprints out of the restaurant, using the throng of people as cover. 

She thinks she hears Zoe yelling behind them, but maybe it’s just her own laughter. “Come on!” she shrieks, breathless, as Percy’s long legs keep pace with her. “To California Adventure!”

***

darthbingus said: the monarchy are fucking parasites but percabeth is pretty cute i guess :/

ladyofsandwiches reblogged and said: it’s obviously a publicity thing lmao, also prince Percy is gay???

eowynning reblogged and said: he’s dating rachel dare, right? he can’t be gay 

ladyofsandwiches reblogged and said: That was a publicity thing too obvs, and Annabeth hasn’t ever been linked to a guy. The king of thera is hardline greek orthodox, there’s no way he’d let his son come out publicly. They’re both gay and pretending to date because homophobia

lardoftheprks reblogged and said: people can be bi and ace and pan and all sorts of things you know

batgirlcock reblogged and said: can you animals leave them alone fr

***

Zoe only spots them after the ferris wheel starts moving. Sprinting over to them, they’re still a full forty feet off the ground by the time she reaches the operator. “Sorry!” she yells down to her, hands cupping her mouth. “We’ll be down in ten minutes!”

“Ananbeth!” he chokes, giggles still escaping him. 

“What?” she laughs. 

“We’re in enough trouble as it is!”

“Exactly,” she says, settling back on the ride. “You’ll probably be grounded for life.”

“Me?” he squawks, playfully offended. “What about you?”

She scoffs. “Please. I’ll just pin it all on you.”

Leaning back, he pouts, arms crossed. “Wow. I plan this amazing day, violate a few embassorial rules, and probably put both of our countries on a massive red alert, and this is the thanks I get?”

“I helped plan it, too.” But he does have a point. “Thank you,” she says. “I had a lot of fun today.”

He turns his head to her, a grin stretching across his face. “Me too.” 

His voice is so soft, so fond. They share a look, a moment, no words between them, only the silence of a true, deep companionship. They don’t need to say anything else, because they already know what the other would say. 

As one, they break away, looking back out into the California evening. 

They don’t talk much as the ferris wheel climbs higher and higher. Honestly, Annabeth is kind of impressed with how well he’s handling himself--she knows heights are a bit of a weakness of his. He grabs the edges of their gondola every once in a while as it drops a few feet, knuckles white and face a little green, but he manages to keep his dinner down, even as the ferris wheel grinds to a halt, Percy and Annabeth at the top of the world. The swing back and forth a little, hot faces against the cool evening breeze. 

And they stay there. 

And stay there. 

And… stay there. 

Annabeth checks her watch. How long have they been up here?

Percy taps his feet, a little too frantic just to be ADHD. 

Finally, there’s a burst of noise from below them, garbled and static. “Uh, yes, excuse me--” the voice says, amplified through a megaphone. “Yeah, um, it appears we are having some… uh, technical difficulties with the Pixar Pal-A-Round. Please remain calm, as we have our best technicians on it, and we are working on evacuating the ride in a calm and efficient manner.” Then the voice cuts out. 

Annabeth glances towards Percy. He has his hands in his lap, fists clenching and unclenching, over and over again. “Uh… you okay?”

“Hm? Oh, sure,” Percy says, “just fine. Peachy keen.” He squeezes his eyes shut, slowly blowing out his breath through his mouth. 

“Hey.” She reaches over, and takes one of his hands in hers, lacing their fingers together. After a long day of holding hands, somehow it still manages to surprise her, how well they fit together, how her skin tingles as she rubs her thumb against his finger. “It’s gonna be fine. We’re gonna be just fine. They’re going to get us off this ride, and then we’ll fly home and be grounded for life.”

“I thought,” he wheezes, “you’d blame it all on me?”

“As if you could come up with a plan as genius as hiding from our guard in It's A Small World.”

He nods, shakily. “Right. All you. Definitely not my idea. Everyone knows I’d have looped back to Pirates of the Caribbean.”

“Definitely.” She squeezes his hand, scooting a little closer. “Just breathe with me a little, okay?”

They breathe together, slowly and evenly. At some point, Percy takes her hand in both of his, running his thumbs over her palm, tracing her lifelines like a map. His hands are big, and warm, and it seems to calm him down a little, so she doesn’t mind all that much. 

Twilight darkens, stars twinkling against the grey, dusky sky, and still they are holding hands. Eventually, Percy relaxes, slumping against his seat.

“You good?” 

He nods. He still doesn’t let go. “Yeah. Just…” he sighs, stretching his arms up, taking Annabeth’s hand with him. “Not super looking forward to the dressing down I’m going to get.”

She winces. Annabeth’s dad is a little more flexible than Percy’s when it comes to breaches of protocol. The king of Thera is somewhat famous for his paranoia. “I hope it was worth it.”

He whips his head to her, eyes wide. “Of course it was worth it!” he says, as though the opposite were even fathomable. “You kidding? This was the best day of my life.”

“Better than your sixteenth?” His father had officially acknowledged him that day. Annabeth had spotted him in a deserted hallway with his mother, the two of them fighting off a few happy tears. She knows just how special that day was for him. 

“Not even close.” Squeezing her hand, he smiles again, that smile she knows almost better than her own by now. That smile she grew up with, a quiet oasis in a whirlwind of ancient tradition and modern media coverage. That smile is safety, familiarity. That smile was there to greet her when her mother chose to leave her family, when her uncle died without heirs, thrusting the position of heiress on her, whenever she had a rotten day or a bad grade or a lonely night, just on the other end of a phone, or down the hall, or in the kitchen. 

Whatever happens, she knows, Percy will be her best friend. Her anchor. 

Her…

She swallows. “Thank you,” she says again. “I needed this.” A day without an agenda. A day just for them. 

His eyes are dark, and soft, like the water beneath them. One hundred and fifty feet in the air in a broken ferris wheel, there’s nowhere safer she can be. “Me too.”

So she’s not really surprised at herself when she says, “I’d really like to kiss you now.”

Eyes widening, just a hair, he opens his mouth, momentarily speechless. “You--are you sure?”

She nods, maybe a little too enthusiastically.

“Cool. Uh, me too.”

“Cool.”

Neither of them move. 

“So, do--do you want to--”

Annabeth leans in, her other hand cupping his cheek, and kisses him. 

His lips are soft. His mouth tastes like vanilla and bourbon. They are trapped in a metal box, one hundred and fifty feet off the ground, about to get the punishment of their lives when they get down, and it is absolutely, utterly perfect. 

And when Annabeth pulls back, there are fireworks. 

Quite literally.

Percy’s face glows with pink and green and purple, and a little fire in his eyes that’s all him. The pops of the fireworks, loud and brassy, and muted, completely overshadowed by the pounding of her heart in her chest. 

They rest their heads against each other, breathing each other’s air, quiet and intimate, the calm before the storm that is surely coming. But that’s fine. Let it come, she thinks. She’ll be safe with Percy.

When the park technicians eventually get the ferris wheel moving again, Percy and Annabeth disembark from the gondola like nothing’s even gone wrong, waving to the crowd of people, fans, and reporters alike, who have swarmed the pier, phones and cameras held aloft in a constellation of light, before being quickly hurried away by Zoe and her crew, ushered to the end of the pier where Annabeth’s embassy’s car is waiting. 

Percy doesn’t let go of her hand once. 

***

KALYMNOS, GREECE--Prince Percy has arrived on the island for his family’s annual summer retreat, bringing his girlfriend, Princess Annabeth of Sweden, with him for the fifth year in a row, and the third as his official partner. Lifelong friends, the couple were most recently seen at Disneyland Tokyo, continuing something of a tradition for the two royals where they visit Disneyland parks across the globe. Our sources inside the castle are hinting that the family is planning something big this year. Could we see a proposal by the end of summer? Be sure to subscribe for more updates!