#can’t believe i have to draw that stupid ass S tattoo every time now i need matt dead actually /lh

[sapphic--kiwi]

in which gus absolutely cannot cook (canon in my heart)

directly inspired by @strawbbz (art from this post)

[clearsky]

My Top Comfort Characters/Kins and My Main HCs For Them

(Note, not all my kins/comfort characters are on here, just the ones I have more than 5 hcs for)

CW: Korekiyo Shinguji (DRV3), Himiko Yumeno (DRV3), Shinsou Hitoshi (BNHA), Kyoko Kirigiri (THH), Tsuyu Asui (BNHA), Entrapta (Spop), Ibuki Mioda (SDR2), Celestia Ludenberg (THH), Funtime Foxy (FNAF), Peril (WOF)

Korekiyo Shinguji (DRV3)

Nonbinary

He/They pronouns

Autistic

Chains and loose accessories are for stimming

Likes the feeling of silk and cotton

Can't stand the feeling of anything rough or bumpy

He likes collecting small trinkets and the bones of small mammals

Can't stand anything salty. He'll eat it but he certainly won't enjoy it

Dating Rantaro

Can flirt, but only if he doesn't try

Petnames are a hell yea

Gets sunburnt really easily

Group dates with Celesnaegiri and Ikuzono

Can't cook for s h i t

Had a scene kid phase in middle school

Went to the same middle school as Celeste and Maki

Knew them when Celeste went through her "I'm not like other girls" phase and Maki was a Band Kid™

Himiko Yumeno (DRV3)

Female

She/Her pronouns

Lesbian

Can force herself to fall asleep within seconds regardless of where she is

100% forces herself to fall asleep when she doesn't wanna listen/talk to someone

Himiko/Angie/Tenko relationship. I'm calling them the Traffic Light Trio

She likes taking naps in the forest

She prefers enclosed/tight spaces more than open ones

Has several hundred stress balls and squishies laying around

She overheats easy

Shinsou Hitoshi (BNHA)

Questioning his gender, but goes by any pronouns

Knows he's Asexual, at least

Has no clue what his romantic orientation is though

The kind of person to carry treats in his pocket just in case he runs into a cat

Will stop to pet literally every cat he comes across

Great at reading people

Doesn't talk unless it's 100% needed

Hangs with Tokoyami, Jirou, and Denki most often

Aizawa has 100% unofficially adopted him

Fosters kittens

Not a big fan of physical touch

He is 100% in the bakusquad. Anyone who says he's in the Dekusquad is a c o w a r d

He and Tsuyu vibe

Knows a bunch of random facts

Dark humour? Dark humour

*skates backwards into his therapist's room slowly sipping from an absurdly huge cup of coffee* Candice you're not gonna BELIEVE the shit I just went through

In case I forgot to mention it, he skates

Kyoko Kirigiri (THH)

Mtf

She/Her

Bi with female preference

Burns go up to her shoulders/collarbone/chest

Prefers to just listen as opposed to saying anything

Knows a ton of random trivia about everyone else in her class

She keeps a notebook she fills with all the trivia

Doesn't celebrate her birthday. She just doesn't see the point of it

Doesn't hate sugar/sweets, but if given the choice she would choose literally everything else

Cuts her own hair

A cat person

Permanent dark circles

T-Tall 😳

Like,,, 6'1 at LEAST

Only person taller than her is Yasuhiro (6'3)

Canon no longer exist

Ahahaha healthy life habits? What are those?

Can't handle horror games

She's the kind of person you'd go to if you needed to rant but didn't want any advice

Polyamourous yo

Celeste/Kyoko/Makoto

She's a dom yall are just scared to admit it

Tsuyu Asui (BNHA)

They go by They/Them

Lesbian

They and Ochaco are dating

They like to hang with Shinsou

Which mainly just means the two sitting in one of their dorms in near total silence doing whatever

Can speak English and French as well as Japanese

Learned English from cartoons

Picked up French bc they thought it'd be fun

Prefers to stay neutral in the whole Bakusquad / Dekusquad thing

They're invited to all outings/events by/for both squads

They like puns

They're a dumbass but willingly, and for fun

Like "someone says they like dark humour and they'll turn off the lights before telling a joke" kind dumbass for fun

Great at poker

Likes Disney Movies

Very touchy once you get close enough

Not in a sexual way, just likes physical contact

Especially fond of piggyback rides and cuddles

Extreme fear of needles

Entrapta (She-Ra)

She/Her or It/Its

Doesn't bother trying to figure out whether she's cis, trans, nonbinary, or what

Was AMAB though

Short as fuck (4'7)

Strong as fuck though

Cuddle game strong

Physical touch is a fuck yes

Cuddles

Piggyback rides

Hugs

Anything where she's touching someone is wonderful in her book

As long as she's the one that initiates it

Anyone else touching her without her permission makes her freak

Prefers being high up

Makes it harder for anyone to sneak up on her

An ace at video games

When it comes to sexuality she just says she's Questioning

Ibuki Mioda (SDR2)

Any pronouns + Pup/Pupself + It/Its

No idea what their gender is otherwise

Biromantic Asexual

Just likes sexual jokes

Gets distracted easily

Has severe hearing problems

She's plays her instruments as loud as possible, with the amp right next to her, without ANY ear protection

It's caused some damage

She talks so loud bc she has no idea how loud is considered acceptable

Wears hearings aids most of the time

Several piercings and tattoos

Likes hearing things jingle

She has a bracelet with a few bells hanging from it

She'll shake it whenever she's bored

LOVES hair accessories

Ribbons are a particular favourite

Occasionally she'll hang little charms from her hair "horns"

The kind of person who never takes any pills/medicine bc she keeps forgetting she has to

Frequently uses emojis

Skates everywhere but she isn't very good at it

She keeps crashing into everything

Has broken every bone in her body at least 3 times

Most of which was bc she keeps trying to kick in doors and skating down the stairs

Celestia Ludenberg (THH)

Nonbinary

Any pronouns, mainly goes by She/They

Bi, 70:30

Collects mini hand sanitizers and can tabs

Has single handedly gotten Mario Kart, Mario Party, Monopoly, Uno, and Clue banned a grand total of 17 times (and counting)

The kind of person to purposefully target someone regardless of what game was being played

Favourite victim is Byakuya (bc he gets so upset about it and she finds that hilarious)

Mains Waluigi

Celeste/Kyoko/Makoto

Has several banned Twitter accounts bc whenever she's bored she'll start discourse on purpose

Hangs with Korekiyo, Ibuki, Byakuya, Yasuhiro, and Leon most often

It's a weird friend group but everyone's sorta gotten used to it

She and Byakuya gamble together occasionally

She tries to avoid it bc he'll willingly blow his entire fortune in an attempt to beat her

Autustic

Can't stand the feeling of water

Mainly bc she can't swim for shit

Horror movies? Hates them

Gets flustered super easily

Taka is her twin brother

Kotoko, Kokichi, and Gundham are their half siblings (Same father)

Peko and Toko are their cousins

She sucks ass at go fish

Fuck canon she's 4'11 now

C h u b b y

Freckles

Once she gets comfortable enough with herself she dyes her hair in the peekaboo style

Either black and red or black and blonde

Haven't decided yet

I'll be doing Celesnaegiri hcs as a seperate post but I just feel it's important for you to know that she expresses her affection verbally and is a very touchy person

Went to middle school with Maki and Korekiyo

Has horrible eyesight

She wears contacts most of the time but she always puts off buying more

After the 5th or so time she ended up blindly stumbling around a week after her contacts ran out Kyoko convinced her to buy glasses as well

Religious accessories yo

Like chokers and dangly earrings with crosses and pentagrams and shit

Likes wearing wacky earrings

Can run and do all sorts of tricks in heels

She and Mukuro are exes yo

Keeps her hair short so it's easier to manage

Hair never gets longer than her shoulders if she can help it

She seems like the kind of person who'd keep her bangs grown past her eyes regardless of how frustrating or inconvenient it is

She's a sub yall just don't wanna admit it

Funtime Foxy (FNAF)

I'm going on the record to say this

Funtime Foxy is genderfluid and that is that

Goes by Funtime

Any pronouns, They/Them most commonly

Plays music (keyboard and guitar mainly)

They and Funtime Freddy (Freds) mainly play with the kids

Freds mainly tells stories with Bonbon while Funtime more so plays one-on-one

Has nicknames for everyone

Circus Baby - Ringleader

Ballora - Bells

Funtime Freddy - Partner

Bon Bon - Bun

Peril (WOF)

I like both Nonbinary She/They Peril and Mtf She/Her Peril

They're both such good concepts

She's a lesbian, Harold

She only had a crush on Clay bc he was pretty much everything she was supposed to like in a guy

Gimme a moment while I force all my mental disorders onto this poor child

Autistic, Anxiety (Social anxiety, mainly, but she has most types), Adhd, PTSD

I'd like to reiterate yet again that She's a lesbian

Sunny and Glory were her gay awakening

Peril in Book 1: Damn, Sunny and Glory sure are pretty. Anyone would be lucky to date them. Clay would probably go for them over me. He would be stupid if he didn't. I myself would willingly date them over someone like me. They're just so pretty :(

Peril waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of arc 2: WAIT-

Rarepair alert but Peril/Sora

Peril meeting Sora: "Hmmm She's attractive. I would love to date her. Too bad I'm straight and in love with her brother lmao :P"

Peril, a mere month later, waiting for Ruby to leave Jade Mountain, pacing in her cave, running face first into a wall: WAIT-

I remember reading this one amazing story where Sora taught Peril to read/write and Peril found out she set off the bomb and comforted her/convinced her her run so that's canon now

Btw if anyone can remember what that story was called/what platform it was on and could tell me I'd appreciate it very much

I'd even be willing to draw a character of your's or make you an icon or something

I usually don't accept requests bc I get burnt out easy but this is a special case

She runs into Sora again sometime between the beginning of TOP and the end

I like to imagine she just goes wandering around

Anyway she confesses like a mere few minutes after running into her again bc Peril is just subtle like that

The actual confession takes 15 minutes and the entire time Sora is just sitting here like "👁👄👁 sure"

Bam Peril/Sora

Peril plans to keep it a secret for a little while longer but she spends 3 seconds around Clay and pretty much blurts it out

Clay, who wasn't even aware that Peril was a lesbian, is just "👁👄👁"

I wanna say Clay doesn't know what a lesbian is but in my canon Sunny is a lesbian so Starflight has already told him

Anyway he's super supportive

From that point Peril is sorta open about her sexuality?

Like, she gives Clay permission to tell the rest of the D.O.D bc she isn't about to risk being in front of them when they hear the news

(When Sunny starts actively seeking her out as a hang out buddy and Tsunami, Glory, and Starflight appear to tolerate her presence just a bit more afterwards she pretends she isn't confused by the change)

She's pink, white, and blue bc I said so

If you look at a certain angle in the right lighting her eyes, mouth, fire, and under her scales all look purple

But her fire is normally white and blue bc I said so

Also she pale as fuck bc in my canon their fire just sorta burns their colour away

You know how you leave something outside for too long and it gets sunbleached? Where it gets all washed out?

Like that but more extreme

By the age of 10-12 firescale dragons are just white with pale eyes

That's right not even the eyes are safe

Ram horns :P

I'm also fond of Peril/Sunny

Or maybe Peril/Sora/Sunny

But Peril/Sora is the main thing

On the topic of that bringing in my hc that if one sib in a sib group is fire resistant all of them are

She,,, She can change her scale colour

But only slightly and only if her emotions are strong enough

Bc I don't give a fuck about Darkstalker's scroll we were robbed of hybrid Peril

Unfortunately all of Peril's emotions are strong

Rainwing ruff along her head and neck

It's like a hood

It's mainly smoothed to her sides but when she's startled it flares out

RAINWING PUPILS

Y'all will know what those look like as soon as I get off my ass :P

She,,, She can mimic bird cries

Hates the summer

She has more than enough body heat already and the outside is just hot enough to add on and make her feel sick

She can somewhat control her heat but most of the time it's based on her emotions

It can go from standing-in-the-middle-of-a-burning-building-cant-see-your-nose-smoke-is-so-thick heat (Strong emotion) to Hey-thats-a-nice-cozy-campfire heat (Calm/"weak" emotion/Sleeping)

I'm just gonna make a different post with all my Peril hcs cuz there isnt enough room for all of them here

[recurring-polynya]

Bleach Sword Beasts Arc Recap: Episode 260

Yuppp, it’s time for the Kazeshini Befriends a Baby episode.

Friends, I know someone’s gonna yell at me for this, but honestly, I remembered this one being better. I mean, obviously, the idea seems like comedy gold, but as I was watching it, I felt like they had this concept and then just... failed to ride with it. Like “It’s Kazeshini.... and a baby! It’s hilarious!” without actually being hilarious. Regardless, I know people would be disappointed if I didn’t cover this one, because it is beloved, so I will do my best.

Ep opens with Hisagi Naruto-running through the woods while Kazeshini cackles, so I guess that counts as a strong start, but it’s literally just footage they re-used from the episode where they fought back during the Muramasa rebellion. I gotta say, if I went to shinigami school and trained with the blade, etc, and then found out my sword spirit was a crazy murderer who hated me and would absolutely not help me in any situation, I would take some night courses and become a shinigami bartender. I would not “deal with” some stupid death pinwheels that scared me. I would simply pursue another line of employment. I would also not get the sex number tattooed on my face, so these are just a few of the ways I am different from Hisagi Shuuhei.

I guess that was supposed to be an actual flashback, because then it cuts to Ikkaku, Iba, Izuru, and Shuuhei running through the woods. What a friggin’ dream team. Ikkaku and Iba are on exposition duty, and thus we learn that they are off to Rukongai to fight some sword beasts who are starting shit, as is their wont. They get attacked by Kazeshini and Hisagi sighs and tells everyone else to go on ahead with exactly the same inflection as an absentee dad in an 80′s film who just remembered he can’t go to the game because he has to pick up his son from soccer practice. It’s now Kira’s turn to provide some exposition, and he explains to Iba and Ikkaku that Hisagi’s zanpakutou is, as they say, a huge bitch. He voiceovers his own flashback to the time he totally beat Kazeshini and looked super cool. Iba and Ikkaku agree: Wow. Kazeshini sure is a huge bitch.

Shuuhei and Kazeshini fight for a while, but Shuuhei is so, so tired, and finally he’s like “Dude, I am at work, can we do this later?” and Kazeshini gets mad and pouty.

I really like the next part where Hisagi runs up to some Kira and Iba who are standing around in Rukongai, which is smoking, and says “Sorry I’m late.” Ikkaku is nowhere to be seen draw your own conclusions. It is no wonder the Rukongai dwellers hate Soul Reapers, I would definitely be printing up anti-shinigami propaganda if I lived in the Rukon.

I am sorry, I can’t stop taking screenshots of these goons, I love them. Ikakku shows up and says they were all too late, it was like this when we got here. Whatever you say, man.

Cut to a cliff where Kazeshini is gazing over the smoking town, and Haineko, Hozukimaru and Wabisuke roll in to give him some life advice. Look, the best thing about this arc is the great care and attention they give to pointedly ignoring that no one ever made up zanpakutou for some of the shinigami. Maybe you won’t notice, they say, that we never show Iba’s zanpakutou. He surely has one and it definitely has a name, look, here’s a catgirl! God, I would give my liver to get the backstory on Iba’s zanpakutou. I hope it’s just Ray Smuckles from Achewood.

It turns out this is an intervention, the other zanpakutou are as sick of Kazeshini’s shit as Hisagi is. They are literally just like “what is wrong with you man?” and then say he can’t come to the cool parties down in the zanpakutou cave anymore if he can’t get his shit together. (Do you think Byakuya is still invited to those? I mean, I am sure he doesn’t go). Kazeshini yells “You’re not MY DAD!” and jumps off a cliff.

Kazeshini attacks Hisagi again while Hisagi is in the middle of a fight with an actual sword beast. Hisagi is really fed up by this time, he’s busy and this is getting pretty tiresome (to us, the audience as well). He throws Kazeshini through a wall, yells “I don’t have time for this” and gets back to business. Kazeshini is upset because no one is paying attention to him and goes looking for Hisagi. What he finds instead is a sword beast murdering a dude. The sword beast calls Kazeshini a dog of the Soul Reapers so Kazeshini stabs him in the friggin’ face, the first time this episode we have seen Kazeshini’s commitment to murderin’ dudes. Of course, the sword beast was in the middle of his own murder at the time, and the poor dude bleeding out on the floor begs Kazeshini to take care of his infant son.

I am presuming it’s his son. He could have been stolen that baby. Maybe they were just roommates. I don’t know how babies work in Soul Society and every time I think about it, it gives me a headache. Anyway, the baby has appeared.

To be perfectly honest, the dad didn’t even look that hurt and Kazeshini doesn’t know how much blood people are suppose to have in them, I bet he was just faking to get rid of this baby.

Kazeshini deadass looks this baby in the eyes and in a gravelly Clint Eastwood voice says “Look, kid, the only thing I am interested in is reaping lives” and I laughed my ass off, this is the actual funniest thing that happens in this episode.

The baby starts crying because Kazeshini won’t let him touch his death pinwheels, and the Soul Reapers hear it and start to run over. Kazeshini yells “I guess I have no choice!” grabs the baby and scrams. He had... no choice. He is very committed to murders, but he had no choice but to leave the baby sitting on the ground for 30 seconds before some authority figures ran up and found it. No. Choice.

GOD, I would give anything to see Iba, Ikkaku, Kira and Hisagi try to take care of a baby. Iba would try to get the Shinigami Women’s Association to take it and they would refuse. He would put the baby in sunglasses and one of those chest wraps. Ikkaku would try to teach the baby to fight, while Kira shouted “You can’t teach a baby to fight!” Hisagi would try to read a book on childhood development and get some Bad Ideas. Eventually, Ukitake would show up and take the baby away from them. I would give you all the money in my pocket for this, Bleach writers, but NO.

Kazeshini tries to talk the baby into going off and getting a job or something, but that doesn’t work. He tries to abandon it and... fails, I guess. He goes back to the cliff where the other zanpakutou show up to laugh at him and refuse to help, as well they should.

The baby cries because Kazeshini won’t let him touch his scythe thingies, so Kazeshini let’s him touch them. a) of all, this is not how parenting works, Kazeshini, and b) why does Kubo/whoever wrote this episode think babies love sharp objects, because this is exactly how the scene where Zaraki meets Yachiru goes. I have had babies. Do not get me wrong, babies love things they can hurt themselves with, mine particularly loved power cables, but I do not think they are generally interested in weaponry, but then again, this is Bleach, so it’s probably just a sign that this kid is going to grow up and be a Soul Reaper. I think this is the part of the episode where I started speculating where the baby would get his ‘69′ tattoo, because clearly, the cycle continues, and my husband made me shut up because he didn’t want to think about it, but search your heart, you know it’s truuuuuuuuue. If they ever do a Bleach Next Generation series, this kid better show up and he better have that tatt.

The baby pees on Kazeshini.

There’s a montage of the baby further harshing Kazeshini’s Hisagi-bothering lifestyle.

Then, Kira tells Hisagi that “there’s a rumor going around the zanpakutou about yours.” Why are the zanpakutou telling Kira their rumors. Do Kira and Wabisuke hang out? I mean, all of these takes place within, like, 2 hours, I think? While everyone’s on a mission? I don’t care, now I’m just mad that we got robbed of a Kira & Wabisuke episode where they listened to a bunch of The Cure together and made a poetry chapbook.

Kazeshini really, really wants to fight Hisagi at this point, but the baby has fallen asleep. He tries to leave it on a roof, but the baby rolls off the roof. Maybe it’s because I have kids, I dunno, but none of these antics are really funny to me, they’re just dumb. Literally, why doesn’t he just leave it on the ground?? All of these jokes revolve around him being an idiot and not caring about the baby, but he could have not just taken it in the first place. (there’s one point where he does try to hook it on a tree branch and that was funny, because we always talked about putting hooks on the wall that we could hang the babies on, just, like, for a minute, they would have loved it). Anyway, he spots a shed on the edge of town and decides that would be the perfect spot to abandon a baby while he murders his master.

Fight time! God, I love a Scooby Doo sequence where you have different characters running up and down streets and in and out of doorways, and there is a delightful one of Iba, Ikkaku, Kira and Hisagi fighting sword beasts. I cannot believe I am more delighted by the lieutenant parts of this episode than the Kazeshini parts, but that’s just who I am now.

We actually get to see some competent Hisagi fighting. Kazeshini is about to jump in and mess him up again, but the baby starts crying back in the shed. (it’s so far away??? How does he even hear it???)  I guess he cares now, so he runs back to go get his kid. In the meantime, a nice lady has found the baby and is attempting to comfort it, except that the moment Kazeshini slides into the doorway she... drops the baby? The baby is comforted by hugging Kazeshini’s pointy shoe, and Kazeshini realizes that perhaps this woman will be an incompetent enough parent to take over in his stead.

Oh no a sword beast attacks him from behind! I guess it’s the one I thought he killed earlier, because it says “Oh, it’s you, the Soul Reaper’s dog!” Kazeshini isn’t even good at murdering, wtf? This episode is dumb.

Anyway, Kazeshini stabs the sword beast, and it definitely dies this time. He has an intense moment of realization that saving people is almost as cool as murdering people, and tells the lady to take the baby and run. The baby cries while a very intense guitar chord plays.

Kazeshini finds Hisagi, who is killing the last of the sword beasts, and is like “Okay, I promise not to attack you from behind can we fight now?” The episode then goes full-bore D R A M A, where they say “Reap--!” at the same time and there’s a smash cut to T H E  S K Y  and a woman singing a lullaby with some haunting reverb and then it intersperses imagery of the woman comforting the crying baby in a field full of floating dandelion seeds and Kazeshini and Hisagi fighting. At this point, if the episode doesn’t end with them each dying on the ground, I am going to be deeply disappointed. (Spoiler: I am deeply disappointed).

There’s a pretty good death pinwheel-on-death pinwheel fight, although it’s short. Hisagi stans gotta take what they can get, I guess. Anyway, at least Kazeshini ends up lying in a pool of his own blood, where he mumbles “When I turn back into a regular zanpakutou... what will we fight for?” and Hisagi replies “We will fight to protect people” and Kazeshini makes this face:

This was the second funniest part of this episode.

He turns back into swords and that’s the end.

In canon, the bit about Hisagi fearing his own blades is an interesting bit of character building, that fits in nicely with his admiration of Tousen, and the fact that he’s a bit of an artsy, writer type. It builds up the idea that Soul Reapers are not just bloodthirsty warriors, but people with morals and concerns, that they fight to protect, just like Ichigo does.

This episode in no way contributes to that idea. It’s more like the writers say, “Hey, people love Grimmjow! Let’s make a yell-y guy who likes to kill people!” Why does Kazeshini want to murder so badly? Who hurt him? He’s part of Hisagi’s psyche, but why? Why are either of them like this? In my head, prior to this, I could think of Kazeshini as a disembodied voice encouraging the escalation of violence. Hisagi was weak and powerless as a child, and then, in one of his first command positions, had a group of underclassmen in his care brutally attacked and a friend killed. I can see him having urges to go to extremes-- to get revenge, to kill monsters before they can kill innocents, but he fears these urges within himself, he fears becoming a monster.

The way this filler arc portrays Kazeshini doesn’t fit. It doesn’t work. Kazeshini is just a dirtbag who wants to kill and attack from behind and then they give him a baby and they don’t even have anything interesting to say about any of this. It’s honestly just disappointing. That’s right. I’m disappointed in you, Bleach Filler Episode about Kazeshini Toting a Baby Around. C-. It’s not quite the level of disappointment I had over the one where Renji blew up Urahara’s van, but Hisagi fans really don’t get thrown a lot of bones, and they deserve better than this.

Oh, and then in the next episode voiceover, Wabisuke theorizes that the baby was Kazeshini’s lovechild. We definitely do not have time unpack all that, so let’s end it here.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #312

“robert’s got a quick hand  /  he’ll look around the room, he won’t tell you his plan.”

Do you kiss your pets? Yes. Have you thought about whether or not you're gay? I actually have briefly questioned if I'm just purely lesbian due to how incredibly averse to simply seeing penises I am, but considering I'm still perfectly capable of being attracted to everything else, I'm obviously not. It's just this weird disgust I naturally have. Have you ever had gay thoughts for your best friend? Well I dated her, so like- Have you ever had an STD? No. Would you say you are addicted to texting or to the person you are texting? Nah, definitely not. I always enjoy texting Sara, but I'm not addicted to doing so. Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? Yes; I still live with my mom, so it'd be very hypocritical not to. Would you have to sleep with someone before marrying them? Nah. Sexual "talent" just doesn't matter very much to me, and besides, before or after marriage, you discover what you like together. Would it bother you if your bf/gf flirted with someone else? ???????????? yes????????????? Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? Oh hell yeah. I honestly really miss doing that with Jason. We were both gamers and would do that frequently. How much does intelligence turn you on? Not like, immensely, but being very smart is definitely attractive. Do you search someone on the Internet before a first date? That shit's kinda creepy, imo. Then again, it could be smart for your safety, but idk, something about doing that seems invasive and just weird. I feel like you should learn things directly from their mouth. Could you date someone who had children from a previous relationship? I really don't think I could at this age, at least. I need to be more stable and a figure to look up to. I could probably be a stepmom to like, a teenager or something, but I'm not dating anyone with one of those at only 25. I would have to really, REALLY like the person to even consider dating them with a younger kid. Would you consider donating your body to science after you die? Yeah, go for it. Do you like to be friends with someone before dating them? Yes, definitely. I think waiting too long can make this hard and an awkward change, though; this was the exact situation with Girt. I had a pretty big crush on him my freshman year before Jason, but we were just friends too long. He became my "brother." Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? Both are fun. Do you enjoy risk? N O P E. How often do you go dancing/clubbing? Never. Not my jam. Do you meditate? No, but I'm considering trying it thanks to group therapy. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. Do you have a problem with racist jokes? Um, fuck yes I do. Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? Yeah, like the soul. Do you cook fancy meals for dates? Lol no, I can't cook. Do you litter? No. Don't even fucking dare to in front of me. Do you have a career plan? Yes. Could you live with someone who was really messy? How messy? And would they listen if I asked them to clean up? Do you have any shameful fantasies? Yes. Is art important to you? Art is absoluely vital for my happiness in life. Do you believe in fate or destiny? Nope; you carve your own path. Have you ever called your friend a slut? Ha, jokingly. It's gone both ways. Doing nothing all day makes you feel...? That's me pretty much every day, and it makes me feel awful by the end of it. Do you shower everyday? No. It's bad for your skin and hair. Is work important to you? It clearly is when you consider how stressed I've been for years trying to find a job I can handle. Have you had cosmetic surgery? No, but I probably will have some things done if/hopefully when I lose the weight I want to. Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? My past has proven that not always, no. What I really care about is whether or not they show the intention of getting somewhere, like working on themselves and having plans they're making baby steps towards. If the person is without any motivation to get somewhere in life, no, I can't date them. Could you date someone who does drugs? Absofuckinglutely not. Do you enjoy watching sports? Only dance. Are you a cat or a dog person? Cat, I think, but I love both. Should evolution be taught in schools? Yes, definitely. Separation of church and state, my friend. Are you kinky? I mean I can't say I'm unwilling to try some things that would be considered so, but my sexual experiences so far have been pretty vanilla, and I'm fine with that. Would you do a striptease for your partner? That'd be so fucking awkward lmao. Would you date someone who doesn't have a car? Yeah; again, I don't. It may be problematic if they never wanted to, especially with me being so afraid of driving, but idk. Do you enjoy dancing? If I wasn't so horribly out of shape. Do you think men should pay for everything on dates? Lol, wow. What year are we in again? Have you ever met someone in person you met online? Only Sara so far, but I do wanna meet a few others! Last person you kissed, are they into any type of sports? Which ones? No. Do you ever read your old surveys? No. They're really just a momentary distraction for me. What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? Ginga Densetsu Weed was fantastic. I'm now anxiously awaiting Meerkat Manor to come on air again this year!! :') When writing stories, do you have trouble coming up with character names or do they come to you easily? I struggle with coming up with completely original names; I used to be good at it back in the day, now I feel like almost anything I come up with sounds stupid. Real words coming up for OCs that somehow fit them come easy for me, though. Did you ever call any teachers by their first name? Who? Yes, because some preferred it. Have you ever shoplifted, even just once? What did you take? Nope. Have you ever witnessed someone else shoplifting? Did you say something? I don't recall. Is your hair thick, thin, or somewhere in between? it's thick as hell. Do you own a bean bag chair? No. Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Oh yes, I loved letting the harmless ones wander over my arms as a kid. Is there a YouTube channel whose videos you always watch? No. What a shocker when you think of Mark, I know, but I've kinda been drifting from enjoying let's plays, especially of random games I don't know or think will be good, so I don't force myself. Have you ever witnessed something burn down? Yes. Diagonal to my childhood house, down the road, there was a huge house fire once. Only the foundation of it is left today. Well, maybe they've rebuilt it, but they sure didn't for a long-ass time. Have you ever won a game of chess? Don't know how to play, so. Have you ever picked strawberries or apples? Strawberries, yes. Are you any good at Ping-Pong? No better than the average joe. Have you ever had to put an animal to sleep? Three dogs, and my rat Tezzeret. Where on your body did you/would you like to get your first tattoo? I got mine on my right wrist. What’re some movies you love that people wouldn’t expect you to like? The Notebook surprises a lot of people. I adore that movie. Does your shower have a glass screen or a curtain? It's a curtain. What was the last pill you swallowed? I don't remember; I take a lot of meds in the morning. Where’s your dad from? Ohio. Other than yourself, who was the last person that took a picture of you? Whoever took the picture of my sister Misty and me hugging. What are you usually doing if you're up late at night? On the rare occasion I'm up late, I'm probably really into doing something in World of Warcraft at the time. I go through spells. Right now I'm barely playing it at all. What do you get when you go to the movies? Popcorn and a drink, always. Do/did you enjoy living with your parents? Yeah. If you were to write a story right now, what would it be about? I'm not interested in starting a new story. The continuous stories in RP are enough for me. If you were to paint something right now, what would it be? I'm unsure. I have a lot of art ideas I want to do, but idk what I'd do first, and besides, I prefer drawing over painting. Do you believe you have a calling? I don't believe in "callings." I believe in natural talents, but I don't feel there's some supernatural or purposeful tactic to it. If you could sing a song before an audience today, what one would it be? Oh god. If I had a choice, I wouldn't. If I didn't, I'd have to think more about this. Do you enjoy public speaking? Fuck no. What pet do you want to have? The pet I want most right now is a plains/western hognose, probably of the lavender morph. I adore those lil piggies. Who do you want to be in your life that is currently not? I go back-and-forth about Jason, even though I know it wouldn't be healthy for me for him to have any part in it. PTSD is a motherfucker. Who do you want to be out of your life that currently is in it? Nobody. What do you have to do to achieve your dream? Most likely for someone(s) with considerable influence or popularity in art to highlight photograph(s) of mine. It's why I enter competitions once in a blue moon if Mom's okay with paying the small fee; it's very, very seldom I even ask, though. I hate asking for things, especially non-necessities with our financial position. Are you ambitious? I think so. I'm determined as a motherfucker to be successful with photography, for one. Do you sell things online? Extremely rarely. Speaking of which, I keep forgetting to take pictures of my flute and guitar since I wanna try to get rid of them. I never played the guitar much, and my sentimental affection for my flute has long since faded, so I might as well make a bit of cash off them to go towards Venus' terrarium upgrade. Do you look the way you want to look? Hell no. Do you pray daily? I never do. Have you been through anything traumatic? Oh yes. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? No. What is a medical condition you used to have but don't anymore? I had this very weird spell of frequent vertigo that kinda just... vanished. Do you look your age? I suppose I do. What has made you itch the most? Shaving my legs I guess, considering I would scratch them so badly it left me with permanent scars. Is there anything you're avoiding? If so, what? Probably. Well enough that I can't even think of it right now, haha. What quality do you admire most in others? Empathy. Do you believe that things will get better? Yes. I hope. Have you ever seen a double rainbow? I have. How old were you when you started swearing? I was in the 7th grade. I don't know the actual age group for that. Do you have any Indian in your blood? No. What is your favorite sunset color? Pink. Have you ever had dreadlocks? No. Have you ever wondered if your house was haunted? Two houses ago, yes. Does the idea of having servants bother you? Yes? Do you like crab? NOOOOOO NO NO. It's mushy and just ew. What song gives you chills? Hell, most music I listen to can. I get chills from music very, very easily, and I'd say either "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade or Disturbed's "Sound of Silence" cover does it the best, but I could very well be forgetting one. Ah, Bad Wolves' cover of "Zombie" is another very high contender, especially knowing the story behind it with how the original singer was supposed to write it with them, but the day of scheduled recording, she died. What color is your favorite hoodie? It's mostly gray, just with a Pikachu graphic on it. Do you have a string of lights in your room? No, but I've always thought those were really pretty. If you were a writer, would you have a pen name or use your real name? My real name. What is your friend's cat's name? Sara has a cat named Winter. Did you ignore the last Facebook post that bothered you, or did you comment? Probably rolled my eyes and scrolled by just to avoid conflict. I normally have to be HEATED to start something. If you were a famous singer, what would you want your hit song to be about? Peace, most likely. Do you have a blog? No. Do you think you are good at writing poetry? I think so, but it takes more thinking than it used to. Do you take gummy vitamins? No, but I wish I took vitamins. Would probably do me some good. If you could do research right now for an essay, what topic would you choose to write about? Hm. I'm always up for arguing for LGBT rights. There's a good handful of topics I'd enjoy writing about, though. Have you ever been tempted to commit a crime? Well, I've pirated things before, so... I kinda crossed that threshold. Other than that, no, not to my memory. Have you ever started writing a suicide letter? I wrote one and am forever humiliated by it. ...and then realized you wanted to live? No, I OD'd afterwards. Well wait... I was kinda on the line I guess, considering once I did it, I panicked and told Mom. If you have a class ring, what color is the stone? I didn't get one. Do you like apple cider hot or cold? I can't remember the last time I had either. Do you use window clings (stickers for your window)? No. Have you ever found a secret compartment? I don't remember ever finding one anywhere. Do you read horror stories? Sometimes RP pretty much turns into horror stories, haha. Do you ever comfort eat? I am VERY bad at that. Do you have your wedding planned in your head already? No, only skeletal basics of it. Does sunlight make you happier? Yes. This is a scientific fact. Do you feel depressed in the winter? No. What's your favorite shade of green? Like a pastel mint color. What channel is your TV usually on? Mom always has Netflix or Hulu on, I think. Do you drive with the windows down or the air on? I strongly prefer AC. How many pairs of jeans do you have? Zero. Do you sleep with a comforter or quilt? A comforter. Who is your favorite American president? I don't know nearly enough about any of 'em to make a fair judgment. Do you jump right in a pool or do you get in slowly? Whew, my jumping in the pool days are long over. Do you use one swimsuit for the summer or do you have many? I just have a single black one-piece. Do you use the bumpers when you bowl? Nah. Sorta affects the fun for me since it's less reason to focus. Do you put eyeliner on the top, bottom, or all around your eyes? All around. Will you refuse to listen to music if you find the lyrics degrading? Depends on how degrading, but usually, it doesn't play a part in deciding if I like the song itself or not. Can you do a cartwheel? I never even tried; I was always too afraid of breaking my neck. Do you have tornadoes where you live? Occasionally, but they're not a big thing here. What's your favorite type of frosting? Chocolate. What's the most expensive crafts tool that you own? Miss Tobey got me a big pack of Prismacolor pencils one year that I really cherish. Have you ever woven baskets of any kind (wicker, paper, cardboard etc.)? No. What's the most exotic spice in your spice rack? I don't have the slightest clue. Do you have a favorite television host? Steve Harvey is The Shit. What's something you're opinionated and very vocal about? LGBTQ+ rights and the pro-choice ideology lead the bunch. The lack of morality in hunting for sport, too. What's something you regularly order online? Nothing regularly. Do you like elevators? No; quite the opposite, actually. When you're angry, does it ever get physical? Absolutely not. What's the weirdest video YouTube has suggested to you? I don't really know. I'm certain I've seen some wild suggestions, though, given just how much of a heavy user I am of YT. Do you like the smell of tar? Ugh, no. Never understood that. Do you have any flags on display? If so, what flag(s)? I'd like a rainbow flag for my room to hang somewhere.

[fapangel]

I can’t WAIT to cover this Trump Jr. Thing because the lefties are pissing themselves like an excited chinchilla and its just so *precious* III We both know how short, murky, and 'he-said-she-said' the anti-Trump evidence has been, so when one of the few folks Big T trusts outright says he'd love to have an enemy of the US support the campaign with secrets on Hilary... you can see why they'd be excited. What Trump Jr. did by even replying positively to that message was High Quality Stupidity.

So before anything else, let’s take a long momentto enjoy that hysterical chinchilla-pissing, starting with thecomments in my own inbox:

Drumpf has only three options here. Disown hisson and send him on an all-expenses paid trip to NSGB, step down, orget impeached.

(BBC)world-us-canada-40571914 Welp. Donald’s son just screwed himself andhis dad over big time. Meeting someone described as a Russiangovernment official to get dirt on Hillary. And, well, “part ofRussia and its government’s support for Mr Trump���. Ruse or not,the intent from the campaign’s side is clear, and motive goes a longway in an investigation and court. Seems like the best thing to dowould be to throw Goldstone, and maybe Jr., to the investigators anddeny Trump had any awareness?

Now for The Left: After their hysterical, rabidpersecution of Trump failed to turn up anything formonths on end, theiranti-Russian obsession has reached “McCarthy” levels of paranoia(oh, the irony,) soplacing Trump Jr. in the same roomas a living Russian person from Russia fortwenty entire minuteshas them stroking off sofuriously it’s a wonder they haven’t given newly literal meaning to“liar liar pants on fire” yet. TimKaine, Rep.Seth Moulton (D-Mass), thereliably retarded NewYork Timesand theusual sniping from the never-Trump neocon camp are all calling ittreason. That’s aclaim so moronic that Salon.com (yes, Salon) hasan article pointing it out beforehurriedly burying the “vast right-wing collusion conspiracynarrative” theirown site’s been pushingwith the old “all Republicans are morons” line like a wee dogfuriously kicking sand over its scat. Meanwhile, CNN is once again ina class of its own - not because of their hysteria but becausethey’re nowreporting on what their right-wing news competitors are saying:

Raheem Kassam, editor-in-chief of BreitbartLondon, reacted to the story of Donald Trump Jr.’s newly-releasedemails in a way that wouldn’t typically be expected from someone atthe far-right outfit, which is a reliable supporter of PresidentTrump.

“So like, this is straight up collusion,”he wrote in the news outlet’s internal Slack, according to atranscript of the conversation obtained by CNN. “Right?”

Yes. Somehow, CNN knows what Brietbart is sayingon their own fucking internal Slack account. I guess hacking is okaywith CNN when they’re doing it - that is, assuming they’re not justmaking shit up again. But the best lines in that “coverage of thecoverage” were these:

Fox News’ first response was relative silence.While CNN and MSNBC went into full coverage on the story, Fox Newsonly briefly visited the topic before moving on to other news, thenreturning to it later.

Eventually, as the story developed, Fox beganto cover the revelations more aggressively. But the network neverwent into non-stop breaking news coverage as CNNand MSNBC did.

Non-stop, indeed. Given that thefacts can be related in literally 23 words (shady Russian lobbyistscores meeting by promising Trump Jr. Hillary dirt, babbles aboutadoption treaties for twenty minutes before being shown the door,) weall know that it was the same as CNN’s usual “non-stop breakingnews coverage” of anything:

But not that fucking Fox News, oh no! Theyreported the facts,and then moved on and came back later,afterthey’d found more facts,toreport those. Andthey call themselves journalists.Tsk.Therealjournalists are hunting down everyonewho was standing in the room,everyone who might have possibly known someone standing in the room,andlabeling them “mastersof the dark arts.” That is not a joke. That is the actualfucking headline. YERA WIZARD, DONNY! THE VODKA DRINKERSARE COMIN FOR YA! Finally,an immigrant the Democrats don’t like. Maybe extreme vetting would’vefound his DarkMarktattoo in time, eh? Or maybe the Azkabanstamp in his passport? Isthat a wand in yer pocket or do you have Hillary’s e-mails for me? Oh, man. But the absolute bestpart of all this is how they’re pawing at everyone’s shins andwhining and spinning little circles because nobody else wants to play- theWaPo is whining about how Trump’s still bullying them as Fake Newsand CNN’s whiningabout those damn pro-Trump media outlets doubting the meeting evenhappened. How can they keep getting away with it? Maybe becausethe mainstream media is sodistrusted nowthat morethan half of Trump’s supporters don’t even believe the meetinghappened, despite Trump Jr. verifying it andreleasinghis e-mails about it.

Allof this - all the tail-chasing, frenzied yapping and excitedurination - is absolutely hilarious,becauseit all amounts to fucking nothing.If Vladamir Putin himself had been lowered from the sky by a chorusof singing angels, moonwalkedto the top floor of Trump Tower and handed Trump all of Hillary’ssecrets engraved on sacred stone tablets, it’d still amount to jackshit.It’sthe same basic fact that’s undermined the left’s vague “collusion”narrative from the beginning - itdoesn’t matter one damn bit who dug up Hillary’s misdeeds in theelection, because theevidence proves it’s true. Hillarywas damaged by her owncampaign’s internal e-mails - youknow, the bald and unvarnished truth of a fawningmedia’s collusion, solicitations of multimillion dollar campaigndonations from the heads of foreign governments and what Democratsreally think of minority voters. 1 + 1 still equals 2 even ifHitler’s the one drawing it on the blackboard. That’s precisely whythe left has relied on constant dark rumor-mongering using a specificscary word, “collusion,” that connotes all manner of shadydealing and wicked deals on the docks at midnight - even though“collusion”literally isn’t a crime. In other words, Robert Mueller - whomeven WaPo admits is trapped in a rad bromance with Comey, andwho’s staffing his Special Probe withlawyers that donated almost exclusively to Democrats -literally has nothing to investigate. Buteven the court of public opinion can’t convict, because no matter howyou look at it, standing in the same room as two Russians for 20minutes isn’t collusion.

Thedefinition of collusion, accordingto Merriam-Webster, is “secret agreement orcooperation especially for an illegal or deceitful purpose.”Note the agreementor co-operation bit. Assenior CNN producer John Bonifield was caughton tape openly admitting, it’s common knowledge that governmentsare alwaystrying to influence politics - and even elections - in othercountries. After all, aCongressional investigation found that Obama’s State Department gavehundreds of thousands of dollars in grants to an Israeli advocacygroup trying to oust Prime Minister Netanyahu (who refused tokiss Obama’s ass on the Iran nuclear deal,) so it’s not a bigsurprise or anything. Nor is meeting with agents of a foreigngovernment, considering that a Ukrainian-American Democratic NationalCommittee operative was caught meeting with theUkrainian embassy in Washington to try and sabotage Trump. Thepredictable justifications (Ukrainians are the Good Guys and Russiaare the Bad Guys) ignore that Ukraine is a big,ugly, corrupt mess, and that the pro-Russian rebels that Putin’spretending his regular Russian army units are actually doexist (just not nearlyin those numbers) and that the Russian intelligence services - andcrony capitalism oligarchy - doubtlessly have tentacles everywhere inthe beleaguered nation. Afterall, left-wingers were whining about Trump’scampaign manager Manafort meeting with Ukrainian businessmen, anda senior Democratic PAC adviser was attacking Scott Walker forreceivingdonations from a “pro-PutinUkrainian businessman,” so clearly they’re not above suspicion- according to theexact same people who were chumming with them, at least!

Lefties havealways known this all amounts to jack diddly shit, which is whythey’ve been using the word collusion,specifically. As I’vesaid before, the way the media get onto the same page - nay, theexact same buzzword, nighinstantly, is never an accident. “Collusion”by definition means “agreement or co-operation.”Governments influencingothers elections by slipping favored candidates tips on theiropponents dirty laundry is nothing new. Governmentsaiding one campaign in return for agreed-upon favors at a later dateis another. Democratsare alleging that Trump and co. sold out to the Russians, so nowthey’re in Putin’s pocket. Thatwas the point of the lurid fanfiction document about Russian hookerspissing on Trump, to allege that he was “vulnerableto Russian blackmail,” and that’s why Democratsand the US intelligence community deliberately spread that pack oflaughable lies around. And they knowthisisan impossibly ludicrous thing to sell, which is why they keeprepeating vague ominous nothings about “collusion” and keepreporting on everything Trump does in the context of the imaginary“ominous cloud” they’ve industriously created themselves for the express intent of throwing shade.

I delayed this post for a bit just to collect morecommentary in my inbox - and not just because it was hilarious(DRUMPF BLOWN OUT ZOMG LOL) but because I hoped it’d be revealing.And indeed it was: consider this one again: 

And, well, “part of Russia and itsgovernment’s support for Mr Trump”. Ruse or not, the intent fromthe campaign’s side is clear, and motive goes a long way in aninvestigation and court.

Every single news story I’ve seen on it havequoted almost those exact lines - the Russian’s email proclaiming hispotential offer as “part of Russia and its government’s support,”and Trump Jr’s skeptical approval, “if it’s what you say it is, Ilove it.” This is what they’re trying to spin as “intent tocollude.”

So how about wereadthe actual goddamn emails, eh?

On Jun 3, 2016, at 10:36 AM, Rob Goldstonewrote:

Good morning

Emin just called and asked me to contact youwith something very interesting.

The Crown prosecutor of Russia met withhis father Aras this morning and in their meeting offered toprovide the Trump campaign with some official documents andinformation that would incriminate Hillary and her dealings withRussia and would be very useful to your father.

This is obviously very high level and sensitiveinformation but is part of Russia and its government’s support forMr. Trump - helped along by Aras and Emin.

What do you think is the best way to handlethis information and would you be able to speak to Emin about itdirectly?

I can also send this info to your father viaRhona, but it is ultra sensitive so wanted to send to you first.

Best

Rob Goldstone

There it is, inas many words - an offerto expose Hillary’s shady connections with “Russia.” That’san outright offer to provide dirt - and as LizPeek points out, this offer came shortly after the book “ClintonCash” was published, which exposed a shit-ton of the ClintonFoundation’s lucrative dealings with Russian businessmen. Even theHillaryapologists at politifact couldn’t deny that Bill Clinton receiveda half millionfucking dollar speaking fee forgiving a speech - from a Russian investment bank calledRenaissance Capital which isvery, very much tight with the Kremlin:

Personal connections and a commitment to Russiahave proved critical to Renaissance. Jennings and other execs got toknow many junior officials in the early 1990s who have risen tosenior positions in the Kremlin and at the central bank. RenaissanceDeputy Chairman Robert Foresman has advised state-owned Gazprom,giving him access to Prime Minister Vladimir Putin’s inner circle.At a Renaissance investor conference in June speakers includedFinance Minister Alexei Kudrin and Arkady Dvorkovich, aide to RussianPresident Dmitry Medvedev.

Andlet’s not forget Sergei Magnitsky, a Russan lawyer whofingered Renaissance Capital as part of a massive government-involvedtax fraud scheme, was arrested by said government, then murdered inprison to keep him silent. These guys are dirty as hell.

Nospeech, not even from God himself, is worth a half-millionfucking dollars a pop. That’sa hefty ass-kissing “donation”, any way you look at it - and beforeHillary became Secretary of State, Bill pulled down that half-miljust twice. After she became SecState, he got a half-mill forspeeches eleventimes.

Anddid I mention that Bill wasbeing paid a half-million dollars for fucking nothing around the sametime Hillary was pushing for approval for Russiato buy a controlling interest in Uranium One, one of the largesturanium mines in America?

Nowconsider that - given Russia’s crony capitalism/mafia stylegovernment (as exemplified by Renaissance Capital’s tight ties withthe Kremlin) and the constant murder of journalists or anyone elsewho could spill the details on these things (including Magnitskyhimself,) the only people who wouldhave this informationwould be “The Russian Government.” That’sexactly why the email offer mentioned it - it was mandatory to bebait the hook.

Andthis is why the media have very, very carefully omitted that lineabout Hillary’sconnections with Russia, andexactly why Trump Jr. tweeted out the emails himself - becauseit makes it screamingly obvious that his “intent” was to getproof of Hillary’s shady dealings and misdeeds. Hedidn’t promise any favor trading with the Russians, he didn’t promiseto to give them “special consideration,” and he didn’t promise tohost Putin’s fucking birthday party, either. That isn’t“collusion,” by definition.

Mindyou, the Russians were definitely up to no good. The lawyer,Natalia Veselnitskaya, spent all her time in Washington and environslobbying against anti-Russian sanctions -after receiving special clearance to enter the country fromLoretta Lynch herself. (Gee,ain’t that funny?) Oncethere, she spent most of her time trying to lobby for “making itlegal for Americans to adopt Russian orphans again,” banned by aRussian law that was retaliation for what she reallywanted to lobby against, the Magnitsky Act - economic sanctions onRussia, named after the whistleblower murdered after he ratted on thecompany that later stuffed 500 million dollars into Bill Clinton’ssticky pockets. Thiseditorial details why the Magnitsky Act really chaps Putin’s ass,but that act itself,likethe orphans/adoption thing, just a way to open up the topic ofanti-Russian economic sanctions. Considering that the ~masterof the dark arts~Americancitizen lobbyist that translated for her is ex-KGB, and thatNatalia droppedher promised Evidence On Hillary to launch right into her lobbyingspiel, it’s pretty clear what the goal was. Most likely, she wasshilling the same Kremlin bullshit she’d pushed everywhere else, withthe promised Evidence Of Hillary’s Crimes a bullshit lie to get inthe door. Or at absolute worst, she was trying to dangle a potentialpromise of ~evidence~ in return for potential or implied promises ofTrump’s future administration to lower sanctions on Russia (whichhe’s refused to do, by the way.) At best she was wasting TrumpJr’s. time, and at worst she was trying to solicit a deal - i.e.,collusion.

Andthat’s about when Trump Jr. showedher the door.

Evena fucking dog figuresout that you didn’t actually throw that ball after a few seconds oflooking for it, but the media’s still yapping like they finallycaught that invisible car they’ve been chasing. They’reso completely and utterly absorbed by their own narrative thatthey’ve come to believe it themselves. It’d be cute if they weren’tgrown adults with collegedegrees, you know? IfSatan himself had slithered out of a flaming crevasse andhanded Trump Jr. Hillary’s banking statements on a dead-babyparchment scroll, it still wouldn’t fucking matter unless they hadTrump Jr. signature on a contract selling his soul for it. Andwhat they’ve got now is a campaign operative saying “fuck yes Iwant an October surprise to dunk my opponent with!” Andthis is before you getto the Democrats colluding with Ukrainians at the same time they wereattacking Ukrainians on Trump’s side for being evil andsuspicious, before you weigh theClintons having a corrupt Kremlin-complicit bank stuffing cashin Bill’s pocket as Hillary sells out our biggest fucking uraniummine to the Russians, and before you weigh Loretta Lynch personallygiving that Evil Russian Lawyer permission to enter the country inthe first place.

Andthey honestly don’t understand why nobody believes them. Thegiggles that keep on giving. It’s amazing.