#can you tell this is one of my fave Sam quotes

[get-deutsche-bahned]

– Sam Denby, The Layover: AU$TRALIA ep. 3

[r0semultiverse]

Was Celia drunk as fuck or is this something supernatural?? 👀

Who the fuck is Jack?? 👀

Alice is such a delight, I love her!

Oof so one or both of them have trauma involving grandparents then.

I love Samama & Alice so much. 💜 They have a great dynamic!

Oh shit, right, Gwen is probably still getting over Mr. Bonzo too. 👀

"I just… I dunno. When I left the coffee shop, it felt like someone was following me."

Please don't take away Alice, she's one of my faves! I hope this post doesn't age poorly. Watch me have to quote this post very soon.

OH NO, is it that [ERROR] following her??? 😰

"Don’t joke about that, mate. I was dreaming about it all day." Okay, yeah, that's a creature.

Sam & Alice are both about to run into a creature... 👀

"Classifying unspeakable horrors all night for no discernible reason?" @/entities-of-posts & @/which-entity-this-post-serves is that you? :]

Hmm, now why is this episode called "marked?" I assumed Mr. Bonzo was gonna find his mark, but maybe Alice is marked by an entity/creature that was locked in the Magnus Institute?

"giving up the ghost" okay so someone saw an apparition? Honestly not sure what entity this episode is about so far.

It's giving The Corruption ✨🧟‍♀️⚰️ (maybe The Buried)

"It’s just that one of the graves had a body in that was too well-preserved for the age it should have been." 👀👀👀

This thing is about to jump out of the grave & run off, isn't it? 🏃‍♂️

"The back was completely covered in this complicated tattoo of a ship sailing across an open sea towards an open horizon." Peter Lukas?!?!?

Oh 100% The Buried, without a shadow of a doubt.

Lots of tattoo & carvings in walls imagery in this sequel prequel sidequel, isn't there? 👀

Hey wait, that's Ink5oul from episode 2, isn't it? 👀 Ink5oul definitely feels like a conduit or vessel for The Flesh or some other kind of entity.

Okay, there's something weird going on with this place, the salt water & waves near this cemetery are kind of seemingly enticing them to come drown in it's waters. In the very least it's messing with these guys' mental states! Pretty freakkyyyy! 👀🌊

Also the repeated emphasis on dreams is interesting this episode, wonder if that'll play a part in something later on. 👀👀

"If it’s any consolation, he’s with the sea now. The deep will care for his bones." I literally called it!!

I think Gordon Alan Johnson also wants to be with David. 👀🌊🌊

I think Gordon Alan Johnson also wants to be with David. 👀🌊🌊

I don't know, Gordie, I think you did it! Unless Ink5oul is collecting tattoos like an alternate universe version of the Leitner books. Wait yeah, what if the tattoos are like conduits for the entities of this world or even the original one? 🖌

Another way to look at this is asking... Is The Deep a new entity/fear or is it a servant of a fear like The Vast? I stg there was a colossal water monster at some point in The Magnus Archives!

Okay so yeah, there's already a precedent for this. Also feels like The Lonely, The Buried, The Corruption, The Vast, & maybe even The Flesh are all involved in this one though I don't know if Flesh (Ink5oul) is working with or against the other fears at this time.

Gwen, you can tell your coworkers what's wrong, oh my fucking god. Please. Celia, you have me so invested in whatever is going on with you.

Weird unexplained noise at 17:44 too as Celia enters the office. Wonder what that's all about, maybe it'll come up later on.

"He is one of our Externals." Okay; so, there's more of them & they have their own secret hitman title too!

Mr. Bonzo when he was on TV

"And they usually like it." I bet fear creatures do like it when you scream. That makes a lot of sense actually.

Also what's that weird "boowomp" noise as they're talking or is it just the OST? 👀

Is Gwen going to be turned into something not quite human at some point? Just throwing darts at a board with that speculation, but wouldn't that be wild?

Okay; so, these little digitized noises are absolutely important!

I wonder how many times & when people have lied so far throughout this season. 👁️👁️

[asongoficeandthrones]

A Clash of Kings First Read - Chapter 34

Sorry for not posting for a few days, I wasn't at home and so couldn't really move forward in the book!

___

(POV: Jon IV.)

Setting: The Fist of the First Men.

Favorite character: Ghost. Very ominous in this chapter, and so I liked him a lot. Jon would have been my fave, if not for a few of his actions that I couldn't really understand, like not trusting his instincts (I remain convinced that something bad will happen soon in Jon's chapters) or running off down the hill, into the night, with no backup.

MVP: Ghost? For finding the buried bundle of weapons? But I don't really understand its significance so I'm rather gonna go with no one.

Things I loved/liked:

Just the atmosphere in general. I will be talking about it more in my next point, but there are things like Ghost's actions inside the ringfort or Jon's thoughts: When the dead came walking, Ghost knew. He woke me, warned me, or even the following dialogue, which makes me think that we might meet some Others/wights very soon, and since I really like that storyline, well...

"Seems to me like it smells... well... cold." [...] "There's no smell to cold." There is, thought Jon, remembering the night in the Lord Commander's chambers. It smells like death.

Jon's instincts (now, if he only listened to them, it would be even better, but that's another point entirely). It helps with setting up a rather dark atmosphere: Yet as the dusk deepened and darkness seeped into the hollows between the trees, Jon's sense of foreboding grew. This is the haunted forest, he told himself. Maybe there are ghosts here, the spirits of the First Men. This was their place, once. Now I'm not saying that it's necessarily ghosts they should be waiting for (in fact, I'm rather convinced it's not ghosts they should be worrying about), but Jon should definitely trust that there is something wrong, especially with how Ghost's acting.

Jon and Sam. I really love their friendship, and it was great to hear Jon admit that Samwell Tarly was at last beginning to find his courage.

Dun dun dun! Suspense!! Whose cloak was it at the end? And what's the significance of all these weapons?

Mormont's plan for Benjen Stark to find them (instead of them finding him). The fact that he's smart enough to realize that Benjen Stark might be a wight by now, and that Stark'll find them anyway. And also the fact that he's acting "not unkindly" towards Jon when he tells him all that.

(Sorry about the formatting... again lol.)

Things I disliked/hated:

I'm also kind of... wary about Mormont's strategy. Ser Mallador (what's his role in the Watch? I forgot, oops) is right, three hundred against thousands? Even in a fortified place, if they run out of food and water, they won't last long. Plus, it does seem like whatever they do, the defenses can be breached. So I don't know if going after the wildlings at all was a good idea.

Huh. It worries me that Ghost won't go inside the ringfort (at first). What the hell is he smelling in there?

Um, Jon, what are you doing??! You're running off alone in the very dark woods when you know there's something wrong, when you think there might be some wights around. Are you serious??! That's like... zero on survival instincts.

Quotes: All the ones I quoted previously, which help set up the gloomy atmosphere. Also, just to give you an idea of the great descriptions in this chapter, here goes a passage: The trees stood beneath him, warriors armored in bark and leaf, deployed in their silent ranks awaiting the command to storm the hill. Black, they seemed... it was only when his torchlight brushed against them that Jon glimpsed a flash of green. Faintly, he heard the sound of water flowing over rocks. Ghost vanished in the underbrush. Jon struggled after him, listening to the call of the brook, to the leaves sighing in the wind. Branches clutched at his cloak, while overhead thick limbs twined together and shut out the stars.

Thoughts overall: Worrying and ominous.

[andreabaideas]

Idea : thoughts on Daisy Jones and the Six and why the love triangle worked for me.

I just saw an inspiring publication/post (by @hellcat-in-chaos :https://www.tumblr.com/hellcat-in-chaos/190027062509/hellcat-in-chaos-66-fuucckk?source=share); reblogged by @alwayschasingrainbows

It made think on Djats. 

It finally lets me put into (mostly) coherent words what I thought about both CamiBilly (Camilly) and DaisyBilly (Daisylly) while watching/reading. Thats why i LOVE both. 

The post says that, and i quote : 

"What's the difference?" I asked him. “Between the love of your life, and your soulmate?""

“One is a choice, and one is not."

Billy may be a mess (totally IS), thats why i LOVE him, but i'm digressing...I get him!! Whats better the LOVE of you Life or your soulmate? 

There’s lucky people who finds one or the other, and never gets exposed to both at once (like Billy was) .

There's some others who never find any of them…Thats okay too, your biggest love should be YOURSELF (single Life IS awesome, i'm happier single than in couple,TBH, i'm more Karen Sirko) 

But, and that's when trouble begins, others are like Billy, and find themselves between  ice and Fire , or as my Abu (RIP) said (in spanish):

Está atrapado entre dos tierras…y al final no podrá respirar = he's trapped between two lands, and in the end he won't be able to breathe. 

To me Camila IS and Will Always be Billy’s love of his Life , because he actively has chosen Camila, both in book (better) and TV (not as good, but good enough), Camila IS the one he wants to be with. She is his choice. He loves her to the point of selfdestruction aka the relapse in TV show, when he thinks she has left him in the last episode. He thinks himself broken without her. 

On the other hand we have Daisy…To me Billy loves Daisy too, with every inch of him.

Fuck, even the lovely ever wise Camila acknowledges It (in book, the series did a huge disservice to her by erasing her discourse my fave in the book):

"He loves you, i know that he loves you, you know that he loves you...but hes not gonna leave me" (sorry for any possible mistakes, i read it in my native language spanish, not english, so Its a rough translation).

But… he denies It, because she IS just like him… and he cant admit/choose to loving Daisy, someone Who IS like him…Because at that point hes an addict (that doesnt act on It) but an addict nonetheless , once you are you'll always be , in the story he hated himself.

Billy and Daisy are soulmates (in spanish Its almas gemelas, like twinsouls, but in meaning more like soulmates really) because they hadn't chosen each other…yet they can't avoid their situation/ passion (and remember : passion is a also a synonym of pain) 

They dont choose each other…Because theres no choice at all for them. 

Billy has always had the choice that doesn't make him “broken”, the choice of love : Camila.

And in the end, when he manages to not be broken and only after losing his love, he can choose, from a healthy stand in life, to be with her soulmate (Daisy) and to turn her into another love. 

But that quote is right : Love IS a concious act of choice. Soulmates arent…It is someone whose soul calls to you, like a syren chanting in the shore, and that can be good…or -like syren chants were in legends-  a curse. 

To conclude: I dont get Billy hate at all, i didn't get It when reading the book, and later with the series casting Sam Claflin (my beloved) It didn't help at all for me being objective.

Billy's situation was difficult …His options nearly imposible. He was crying in that Taxi for fucking reasons, you all. In choosing love, he has to deal with the consequences: he loses his soulmate . Also hurts everyone (himself, Camila and Daisy) in the process. 

You find that easy to decide?? What would you choose LOVE or SOULMATISM? (I may create a future poll with this question)

If you doubt or dont know your answer,  then i'm glad to tell you that you are ...~(insert drumroll sound here)~ Billy Dunne.

[lunar-years]

I mean, I’ve gotta send you Ted Lasso for the fandom asks 😉💖

also @roykentjamietartt and anons who also gave me ted lasso :)

the character i least understand: Beard. That man is an enigma and I frankly just don't care enough to dive into his brain and try to unpack all that LOL.

interactions i enjoyed the most: Favorite ever moments are the Jamie/Roy s2 hug and Keeley & Roy surprising Jamie in the treatment room with champagne. Also: The s1 "Be a Goldfish" speech, Keeley talking to Roy on the treadmill which is my favorite all-time roykeeley scene ("that was for world hunger" "and I believe it was the cure" <33), Jamie teaching Roy how to ride a bike!!, Keeley's "You're a battler" talk with Jamie, TWO COFFEES ONE CUP, Higgins telling Keeley it's okay to leave for new opportunities, the team fixing Sam's restaurant, the s1 bonfire!! Gosh there are so many amazing scenes.

the character who scares me the most: jamie's dad in the wembley scene and again in the scene where he nearly kills Beard.

the character who is mostly like me: Nate, tbh. But I like to think I'm Nate at his very best and not anything like him at his worst :) I just relate to his specific brand of anxiety and burnout and being good at a lot of things but never feeling like there's that one thing you're good enough at that you're meant to do it forever. Also the crippling insecurity woop. The scene where he paces outside taste of athens too scared to go in even though Jade can clearly see him through the window was very me-coded, lol.

hottest looks character: Two-way tie between Keeley & Jamie, clearly.

one thing i dislike about my fave character: S1 Jamie and his terrible defense mechanisms and poor coping skills. Hiding the best parts of himself behind the worst parts to protect the core of him he doesn't want anyone to see. The s1 scenes with Nate & Sam in particular are very much Jamie at his worst!

one thing i like about my hated character: Rupert you suck ass but I guess I appreciate his passion and commitment to being the absolute fucking worst <3

a quote or scene that haunts me: Jamie's dad at Wembley, Ted/Rebecca funeral scene where it jumps between the two of them telling their parallel stories of the same night. God that was True Cinema (TV version, lol). From this season, "It's like I've got that, it's like I've got in my soul" :(

a death that left me indifferent: n/a this ain't that kind of show lol

a character i wish died but didn’t: I wanted Edwin Akufo to die in a mysterious offscreen private plane crash so that he could no longer hyper-fixate on making Sam's life the absolute worst at all times but hey, I guess Sam found a way to get on the National Team even with Edwin shelling out millions to keep him off of it so like, that's even better.

my ship that never sailed: uhhh RJK if you think they didn't sail. Personally I think they did sail so like. I won on ships tbh.

thank you!!

[folklorefairyy]

i- i’m genuinely in shock rn!!! i only really became active and a writer on this account from late last year and i would have never even thought that i would reach this following - this is a huge milestone for me and i’m so grateful i could cry

thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, to anyone who has followed me, who has supported my work or interacted with me in anyway (anonymously or not). thank you to my mutuals and the wonderful friends i’ve made on here (you know who you are<3) i’m so grateful to connect with and to have befriended people who i can be unapologetically myself with and i just love you all

this is crazy and i just- i have no words, i’m just incredibly grateful for everyone even if il we’ve never spoken or you liked my fic or sent me an ask every little interaction means the world

in honour of 1k i decided to do a little sleepover celebration with you all !!! this will probably span over the week so until next saturday maybe? i’ll update you guys! and so feel free to send in an ask for any of the things below!!

i’ve also created two little things as a thanks! a comfort poem you can assign to your favourite character and a list of fic recs

note- not all of my moots are on there and neither is all of my fave works because there’s just too many so pls check out all the moots i’ve tagged at the bottom (for sb but also appreciation) and check out their work because they’re all genuinely amazing!!!

a poem for you - here is a poem that you can apply to your favourite character and get a little fluffy fix so if you’re ever feeling down or just want some comfort for a specific character you’ve always got this <3

fic recs! - a list of fics from some of my favourite writers, talented moots and some gems i happened to find <3

🍓fmk - ya’ll know the drill send in some characters and i’ll choose between them!

🧺mini drabbles - send in a character and a little soft thought or scenario and i’ll write a drabble on it!

🌱cast your mutuals - send in something like ‘cym as flowers’ or ‘cym as tfatws characters’ and i’ll cast my mutuals based on vibes alone!

🍄ships - send in a little description about yourself or a random fact and i’ll ship you with someone (specificy whether marvel or star wars)

🌻dating characters - send me a character and i’ll tell you whether i’d date them and why

🫖tfatws fics - send me a fic request for bucky barnes, sam wilson or joaquin torres based on the last 3 episodes of tfatws!

i’ll be limiting this to 3 fics per character (9 in total) as i have so many in my inbox to catch up on (i’m getting there dhdh) and so check back to see which characters are left as i’ll cross them out once 3 have come in for said character

bucky barnes

sam wilson

joaquin torres

🪞send me a fic title and a character and i’ll tell you what i’d write! - can be in my style of title, your own, quotes, one word, anything!! marvel or star wars characters welcome

☀️chat with me! - tell me about your day, something you thought about a character you just had to share, or any random thoughts you have about anything and i’d love to talk with you

tagging some moots! also if i dont tag you i’m sorry my brain forgets everything when it needs to remember so just tell me and i’ll tag you - especially if you write fics cos i don’t want to miss you as i want people to read your work !!

@beskar-tano @sunflowergirl522 @etherealsanakin @xwing-baby @anakinswhore @anakinlove @amourtentiaa @sunsetkenobi @blackberrybucky @belladonnabarnes @rhubarb-barnes @itsapeterthing @artiza-n @cap-n-stuff @burninmatches @gcdric @simpforquicksilver @mayonnaise-and-anarchy @betweentwopines @buckybarnesdiaries @felicityparkers @mightyavngrs @extremelyblackandwhite @poe-djarin @kelieah @gryst @strawberry-tea @whothehellisbuckybarnes @marvelinsanity @starwarsflowers @mndalorians @patriotseli @no-mercy-bby @poestardust @pietrosgf @mollysolo @quickysilver @darthwheezely @dameronology @iorekbrynison @lovelyavengers @songofpatrochilless @wintersfilm @natasha-romxnoff @tom-holland-parker @stucky-on-spiderman @free-pool-trash @on-yourleft @stargazingcarol

[alloftheblackwidowfeelings]

Almost every reviewer on YouTube wasn’t satisfied with this movie IMO they said it was just Marvel combined some elements from other marvel movies so they could throw fans a BW movie so we could stfu, it didn’t do justice to the the character ,what do you think, is it really that bad.

To be honest, I've been working on this one for a while but I keep writing and deleting my response. Because all the things I want to say sound gatekeeper-y, in one of several ways.

I think you can be a Nat fan and not read the comics. I think you can be a Nat fan and never talk about her. I don't think you need to know everything about canon and be an "expert" to be a fan. I'm not interested in a locked-gate version of fandom. I don't think this movie should just be for die-hard Nat fans. And I don't think that all Nat fans will like this movie, for a variety of reasons.

Despite all of that, a lot of the comic book/movie expert reviews I've seen feel, to me, like they were evaluating a movie that isn't the one this movie was ever trying to be, and missing some of what the movie explicitly says it is because that doesn't fit what they want from it.

A bit more spoilery and a lot longer under the cut. I am so sorry I'm like this.

This movie felt tailor-made for me. Not because I loved every answer they gave, but because the questions they asked are ones I've been waiting to hear since 2012, when I first saw Avengers and then immediately went back to see the rest of phase 1. I think people disliking the answers is a legitimate opinion, and I'm looking forward to detangling that with people. What surprised me in reviews was not reviewers disliking the answers, which is legit, but not even seeming to realize the questions had been asked.

Most prominently, what felt like the huge thematic arc of the movie to me has been nonexistent in so many reviews that I've started to feel like I made it up, even though I took notes of exact quotes so I could reference them. The movie isn't a Nat origin story, and it's not about her as a cool edgy villain, so not seeing either of those didn't bother me. It's a movie about Natasha's trauma and how that manifests, and how her attempts to break free of it have harmed others in the past, and how she can move forward from that. We never get the key that unlocks the history of Natasha's past, so if you approach this as a puzzle box, it's going to fail.

THIS INDENTED PARAGRAPH IS THE CLOSEST I GET TO DIRECT PLOT POINTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP

Specifically most of the reviews seem to view Nat's motivating guilt as over how she escaped the Red Room, particularly one casualty she deemed an acceptable sacrifice. But as I interpreted it, Nat's guilt in this movie came from a much closer place: the other Widows were all she'd had, and Nat being able to escape the Red Room made the Red Room hold on to the other Widows that much tighter. She thought she'd taken it down, but she was wrong. So her freedom, essentially, came at their expense. Natasha working to take down the Red Room this time is personal both to avenge her own trauma and to make up for her guilt in the Red Room still existing and creating more trauma for her peers. Without this context (and to be clear, I have gone back over the quotes several times to see if I'm misinterpreting and I really don't think I am), the idea that all of her guilt is over what she did to a single person makes more sense, but it also makes the movie a lot less interesting. If Natasha is justified in blaming Alexei and Melina for condemning her back to the Red Room, how could the other Widows not blame Nat? To me the entire story swings from that, and by not acknowledging Nat's (inadvertent but still very real) responsibility for continuing the cycle, the movie would feel hollow.

PLOT POINTS OVER.

Many critics they seem to feel like the potential this movie introduced was wasted because Nat's dead, so what's the point. First of all, the point is she's Nat and we care. It's not like we went in to Iron Man expecting that we'd have a decade of a franchise; we cared in the moment, and this movie is asking for the same thing. It delivers for over two hours of NOT murdering Natasha, which is more than I can say for Endgame.

To be clear, BW does set up other things for the MCU, and it's but if you're only watching it for what it's going to tell you about the future of the MCU (and I get it, because that's how I'm watching Loki, and it's a very different type of watching than I did for FATWS), this probably IS going to be a disappointment, because this isn't a big crossover event movie; I mean, none of Sam's "Big Three" show up at all. But again, that's about the movie someone wanted it to be, not the movie this was aiming to be.

Is this like a lot of other Marvel movies? Kinda. It's definitely taking a lot from Civil War for its set-up. Its arc felt like a close mirror of to Winter Soldier to me, to the extent that I'm planning to rewatch that on Thursday so I can see how much that's just me projecting my fave onto it. The third act is very Marvel-third-act-y, as adapted to Nat's character; the adapting to Nat's character are the parts I like and the rest is kind of what I consider the MCU price of admission.

I also kind of hate that it feels like the last few movies- Black Panther, Captain Marvel, now this and some rumblings about Shang-Chi- have all been kind of dismissed with "it's just the Marvel formula." It is, but that doesn't change the fact that different protagonists make it different. Dr Strange is pretty much just "Iron Man 1 with cool magic" and people didn't mind, but "how does this formula change when the protagonist is fundamentally different than the archetype to this point?" is apparently not different enough. I get Marvel fatigue, I really do, but for me it's tempered by how, in this case, Nat doesn't have the moral clarity Steve or Thor or even Tony or Scott has. No one in this movie lets her forget that she's a trained killer who little kids look up to.

Again: there are parts of this movie that don't work. I also don't ever ever EVER want to seem like I'm saying that if someone didn't like this movie they're not a real Nat fan or they're wrong. I know there are reasons to not love this movie, and I'm sure I'll figure out more the more I watch- it may not make me not love it, but it will at least complicate it for me, and i think we all know I live for that shit. Moreover, I intimately know how much it sucks when something you've been enthusiastic about and anticipating for ages doesn't pay off and everyone else seems to like it- it's isolating and upsetting and you just sit there wondering why no one else understands, and that's bullshit and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. People who don't like this movie are valid!

But if someone has a history of seeing Nat as just background, or considering her as a T&A deliver system more than as a character, or caring about hot women with guns but not care about the trauma that turned them into that, or saying they like movies about women but just not THIS woman for every comic book movie about a woman not there for them to ogle, or claiming to be experts in all things comics while doubling down on their theory that Yelena wouldn't appear because she was in Agent Carter (YES THAT HAPPENED, MORE THAN ONCE, THE NORTH. FUCKING. REMEMBERS. AND WISHES THEY KNEW WHERE THEY SAVED THOSE SCREENSHOTS), I don't need to weight their reviews heavier than the adrenaline rush I felt watching this movie.

So in answer to your question, I don't think the movie was really "that bad." I think this movie delivers in very specific ways, which definitely are not the flashy ones or the "every Marvel movie builds to the next great EVENT" ones or the male power fantasy ones, and if those ways aren't the ways you care about, it's going to be a disappointment. Even if those AREN'T the ones you care about, it could be a disappointment for any number of reasons, some of which I noticed during the movie and some of which I'm sure I'll be surprised to read about Friday morning.

But it wasn't one to me. For whatever it's worth, despite the movie's flaws, I loved it, I haven't stopped thinking about it in five days, I can't wait to see it again, and I hope that whether other people do or don't like it, they want to roll around in it as much as I do to pick out every single shred of canon worth overanalyzing.

If this is all we ever get for Natasha- and it is a CRIME if this is all we ever get for Natasha but that doesn't mean it's not so- I am grateful that this is what we got.

[mercystine]

what are some little mix songs you think kurt should sing 💖

I love this ask!! I have things to say!!

I grouped them into categories because there were too many songs and I wanted to make it less messy

I also included some kurtbastian because that's who I am as a person

tw sex mention(s)

🌷growth

little me - sang by kurt after some great success (winning a tony? designing his own clothing line?👀) to baby!kurt circa 2009/10. I just love the idea of a happy and succesful Kurt sending an encouraging message to his younger self who was in such a dark place at the time and telling him that one day he is going to be happy and that he should be more confident and proud of himself 🥺

the cure - hi hello it's one of my absolute faves. Kurt singing it to express how content he is with his life now and how much it differs from his teenage years. 'I was a little bit lost but I'm not anymore// cause the tears fell down but they don't anymore' 🥺 what his 'cure' might be is up for debate, it can be a person or a career, or simply just something that makes him happy.

clued up - this song was written for kurt and about kurt. no criticism will be taken. It's a song about being different and learning how to accept that and this is just the ultimate Kurt aesthetic. 'I used to dress like everybody else// I wanted to just blend in' gives me major straight week vibes, and the 'they told me no, keep my dreams on the low// told me I'd never win' is about all of the people who bullied him. basically I could quote the whole song here, it's just so perfect for him.

🍒cheerio!Kurt (cheerio - cherry. close enough?)

basically songs I want Kurt and the cheerios to perform. I'm not gonna elaborate on each of them, you get the vibe. I also included some fan-made dance routines for the songs (hidden in the title) that I could see them performing.

move - this one is actually the original LM routine 👀

bounce back

different beat

💦slurt

dear lover - little mix have a bunch of songs about casual sex but I think this one fits Kurt the best because it still manages to have that sweet, soft vibe to it. anyways I would love to see kurt sluting it up in NYC, because he never really got the chance to experiment on the show

no more sad songs - this also fits the next category - post break up. basically it's kurt trying to get over blaine and enjoying life, going to clubs and having fun with other boys - the ultimate slurt aesthetic. 'don't care that someone's got his hands all over my body' that's the spirit, go king 🌠

💔 post break-up

break up song - sang after the s6 break-up. It's kurt getting used to not having blaine in his life, and realizing that he definitely can be on his own. 'I'll be good all by myself// yeah, I'll find a way to dance without you' yeah <3 also the bridge of this songs waters my crops. its so good!!

no time for tears - very similar vibe to the previous one

mess (happy 4 u) - Kurt sings it in one of the first episodes of season 6, trying to come to terms with blaine dating karofsky and accepting the fact that they aren't going to get back together. it's actually a really sweet song and I think it fits well.

⚠️ anti blaine: sweet melody - kurt singing it post break up and realizing how toxic his relationship actually was. 'he would lie, he would cheat' I mean,, 👀💀 also you just know that the sweet melody is 'teenage dream'. the song also mentions being controlled

🌃 kurtbastian

motivate

rendezvous

I think that these two are the perfect fwb songs. idk what else to say 🙈

nothing but my feelings - friends with benefits but there are feelings involved!! we love to see it!! basically kurt started catching feelings for sebastian, but he knows that sebastian doesn't do relationships so he's kind of settling for the casual thing. 'I know we will never work out// but if you're looking for a workout you should come 'round'

monster in me - this one is a bit more angsty, which I personally love. this is perfect for an enemies to lovers story. 'every night we fight and it's hot like hell, but I love the way that you make me scream' I mean 👀👀

💫 hevans

if i get my way - kurt comforting sam after his break-up with quinn. he doesn't sing it directly to sam (that would be high-key inappropriate I think) but he does mean it when he sings that he wants to take her place and that he can take care of him and that he's going to make sam finally think of him as more than a friend

I hope thats okay! ♥️

[angelhummel]

I’m gonna work you hard!! Do the season 4 episodes that you haven’t answered! (And if you chose Kurt as best character, you have to pick a second fave. :) lol

alsfjskl love you for adding the fine print of not being able to only pick kurt lmao. "luckily" for me he wasn't up to a terrible lot in s4 so i probably wouldn't have picked him anyway ;P

Thanksgiving -

My favorite song: when i tell you it's "let's have a kiki/turkey lurkey time"... i am not joking even a little bit. homeward bound/home is a close second tho

My favorite quote: "It's thanksgiving and it's sectionals, and i miss you like crazy, and i can't stand not talking to you even though i'm mad at you, because you're still my best friend"

My favorite moment: Klaine's phone call! of course. and all the loft shenanigans, as usual

My least favorite moment: the stuff with the graduates is pretty boring, even tho this is the one time it makes sense for them all to be back lol. the santana/marley stuff would've been interesting if it didn't devolve into rehashing quinntana's tired high school drama. im over it lol. also unique mentions her parents wanting to send her to conversion camp and we just gloss right over that (:

My favorite character: Marley. rip

Sadie Hawkins -

My favorite song: maybeee Tell Him

My favorite quote: Conspiracy theories make my lips get all chapped

My favorite moment: all the pretty dresses this ep. the boys' and girls' respective group performances. kurt being at nyada. and getting attention from an upperclassman. even tho...

My least favorite moment: baby got back is one of the worst performances ever on the show. also kurt's best gay "as long as you're happy uwu and i have a white noise machine wocka wocka" like shut up. ummm tina thinks she can get with blaine, puck is dating a sophomore... this ep is weird. oh also another line from brittany about eating literal trash lol

My favorite character: Brody. I want to see his audition for Magic Mike The Musical

Feud -

My favorite song: there's so many good ones this ep. maybe bye bye bye/i want it that way. it slaps

My favorite quote: It doesn't matter what you see. You don't get to decide for me.

My favorite moment: uhh the performances are pretty good. it's pretty funny. love seeing blaine and jake suspended with ropes, that's cool. and obviously santana taking rachel to the doctor and then their hug afterwards

My least favorite moment: psycho finn hiding in a hotel room in order to confront and beat up brody. will acting less mature than his damn students. and ryder being transphobic for a hot minute BUT he did realize the errors of his ways and apologized so he's not the worst one here

My favorite character: is there anyone worth rooting for this ep?? maybe Blaine and Sam. They concocted that little plan of theirs. That didn't go anywhere but...

Sweet Dreams -

My favorite song: this is one of my least faves ever and the music doesn't help :P i guess outcast bc marley wrote it and it's a group number

My favorite quote: "I was thinking about my friends. How I wouldn't be the person I am today, standing in front of you, doing what I'm doing right now if they hadn't shown me that I could. If they hadn't believed in me"

My favorite moment: steampunk!tina. and unique, sam, and blaine singing marley's song with her was cute

My least favorite moment: the funny girl stuff is so boring and it's barely even started. i hate college finn he's even grosser than usual. also omg the line about "it's like everyone has ptsd or something" after the literal school shooting omg

My favorite character: Marley! I'm glad she got to show off her original songs

[skeetlehand]

HI!!!!! I have been tagged™™™™ by @gheysnakelady and so here are my Hot Opinions!! :D

who is your favourite member on the smp?

I mean, i have SEVERAL faves: awesamdude, eret, wilbur (rip), techno and phil - I’ll watch sometimes, tubbo and tommy, but if you’re going by who I watch th

when did you first start watching the smp and what made you get into it?

Oh, it was thanks to the sudden influx of dream smp animatics all over my youtube home page - and tbh, they were all pretty good! and so, i was like: ???!!! and started watching and now i religiously check the dsmp tag for plot updates so i guess that’s where we’re at rn… haha…

what is your favourite part about watching the smp?

Just watching these creators make these amazing stories+narrative - it’s free tv! i am entertained! even just watching them interact, this large community of a variety of streamers/youtubers, in the most diverse topics (not all of them are really minecraft-centered, but they are all great!). The idea of showcasing underrated creators in a platform where they all have the opporunity to shine, is just a wholesome idea tbh

what piece of cursed lore is your favourite?

…………. the toe…………. 

who is your favourite duo on the smp?

Miss the ol’ tubbo n tommy dynamic! But i do enjoy techno and ranboo - they’re hilarious, too.

… Niki and Jack give me Stress… i try to think about them like: team rocket! it works! almost! i try not to think about them murdering children on purpose and more like a little evil duo who cause problems and miss. please-

who are your comfort streamers?

I like to watch awesamdude (he’s great!!! <3) bbh and tubbo, when I want some nice times where I might play minecraft myself... or just relax

who is your favourite character?

mexican dream, no sweat. tubbo and tommy tie for second second place, and back when elections were a thing, so was Big Q (he still is! he says the most brutal things these days but also ,,,, stream me dude pleas-).

who do you think is the best actor (s) on the smp?

A LOT OF PEOPLE OKAY LET ME ELABORATE ON A FEW:

- schlatt. evil president. wilbur. chekov’s gun but tragic. do i need to say more.

- bad is actually really good! and terrifying! surprisingly! because he’s.,,. he’s supposed to be one of my comfort streamers.... you should check out his eggpire!!! egg for the egg god

- tommy is good at subtleties, for someone who isn’t very... subtle... yknow? I was surprised by the AMOUNT of detail that went into the exile arc - and he played it adequately

who on the smp would you like to be best friends with?

ajgLJHGdljhagjJHGJHLGDS you can’t ask me that!!! they all seem like cool people and id like to meet them but also i am a mess so hhhhh

what are your favourite quotes said on the smp?

i have a lot here too but here are just some that I can think of rn haha:

connor’s whole: “you’re not a bad person, and I hope you find what you’re looking for” had me BAWLING aaa

tommy’s dialogue with dream during their battle was good, but when 

a) tommy asks tubbo: “but what am I with out you?” and tubbo responds: “yourself.” I CRIED AAAA

b) tommy said: “Hey Dream, Dream, kill me.” because he knew dream wouldn’t, because he knew why dream wouldn’t - CHILLS

which part of the smp made you feel the saddest?

- ... pogtopia...

- Wilbur/ghostbur (out of character? in character? i don’t know which’d be worse, actually) admitting that he only wanted to make tommy president so he could blow it up seconds later

- .... tommy’s exile....

- A lot of tommy’s interactions with Techno have me kinda... :( ... you know? Like, the pit, the manberg vs. pogtopia war, doomsday - it feels like they keep shouting the same lines at each other, but neither of them really hear nor understand what the other is saying. Expecially doomsday - techno siding with dream, predictable but also hurtful, kind of. I can see why - but also techno was the closest to learning what had happened over the exile, and yet, the farthest from understanding it.

- doomsday was equally frustrating, hopeless, and depressing tbh

which part of the smp made you feel the happiest?

A LOT OF THINGS: but here are just the ones on the top of my head

- Quackity killing Schlatt and leaving manberg like: ✌️😠✌️

- When Tommy finally realized that dream was just. manipulating him. YOU GO funky exile child, LEAVE!!! 

- PUNZ coming in to save the day with: “you should’ve paid me more”???? YES YES YES

- Sam giving tommy little tasks to build the hotel?? wholesome. Acknowledging tommy’s been through a lot, abnd being one of the few people to know most of the exile story that tommy still won’t tell anyone about outright? 😭 (and i am looking AWAY from the possibility that this is just for profit, nonononono, not in MY line of sight-)

be honest, who do you simp for? (ayo if anyone says tommy or tubbo i will 🔪)

....schlatt (who ironically, was somewhat my introduction into the smp), but only cause he was a TERRIFYINGLY good actor, and he sounds EXACTLY like what id imagine an evil president would sound like 😳 what can i say, i like my voices...? jkashdlhfgal closest ill get to simping anyway so all of you can just take this and go, go elsewhere-

what’s your favorite stream?

Hmm... one of the chaos ones? kjahdlkg i can’t decide...

what’s your least favorite stream?

The butcher army stream. I mean, it was good I loved the dialogue and set up... but like... story-wise, butcher army didn’t accomplish anything in the end, their existence was as volatile as the person they hunted and tbh nothing was gained from it, just lost and made worse. Hot opinion though, so take it with caution.

what’s something about the smp fandom that makes you sad?

Hmm... A somewhat common point: sometimes people can be really critical about characters, but like, not in a good way - just straight up bashing. I get disliking a character but it makes me :( when i don’t see reason for it. Or bashing someone’s opinion of a character. Look, we’re all interpreters here, but like.... cmon.... someone might just have a different view of a character and that’s fine! 

for example: not a big fan of c!phil as a father. Some interpretations say he’s not a father because phil never said he was. Some might say he was an okay dad, and some might say tommy was never his son. all of these opinions are valid. another one of my opinions: tommy’s “punishments” were injust, some might agree with the idea that they were blown out of proportion and he didn’t really learn anything from them, some might disagree and say he got what he deserved. all of these opinions are valid -but on my end, maybe not the ones where people go: “aww man, c!tommy should’ve died cause he’s so annoying, and he totally deserved it.” did we watch the same arcs, buddies on that end???? are you okay????

Just, i get hating a character, but it bums me out when i see someone just straight up say “this character should die. cause they suck” - why though? story-wise, how would that play out? what

ANYWAY THIS IS ALL MY OPINION DON’T TAKE THIS TOO SERIOUSLY PLEASE

what’s something about the smp fandom that makes you happy?

Yall are great!! I love how much we’ve created - art, animatics, writing -all of you <3 <3 <3 and also all the discussion about the story, the characters, the interactions - I’ve found a community in some groups and honestly it’s just *chef kiss* great!!! yall are super cool and awesome and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!!

anyway, for the spread: i tag - @territorialufo, @an-inspired-eternity and @n-ugg... don’t feel pressured to do this but if you guys want 😳 

[storyweaverofgondor]

lotr for the fandom gaaame

but if >possible< don't do the death one... or at least warn me 😳

There are going to be some spoilers. But I’ll try and answer with as few as possible! <3 (Here’s your requested warning. I answered the death ones)

the character i least understand: Tom Bombadil. I think he’s a very nice little forest man but . . . why is he here? Everything else Tolkian had in his books served a clear purpose to the story. I don’t understand the point of this nature dude and his hot wife.

interactions i enjoyed the most: I’m torn between Frodo and Sam or . . . to be honest the way the ENTIRE Fellowship interact with each other always make me so soft.

the character who scares me the most: Saruman. Unlike the nameless terror of Sauron you can see his plans and how close they come to succeeding. That’s so scary.

the character who is mostly like me: Bilbo. I want to go home to my books, i want to just be safe and cozy. But if a bunch of dwarves came to my door offering a chance for adventure and asking for my help? I’d go too. Tho I’d probably do something like, tell someone I’d be gone for an indeterminate amount of time so they don’t SELL MY HOUSE!

hottest looks character: It depends on what you consider hot, tbh.

one thing i dislike about my fave character: Frodo. Sweetie. I know this might seem like strange advice. BUT DON”T TRUST THE CONFIRMED MURDERER!

one thing i like about my hated character: all the bad guys whole-heartedly commit to their aesthetics.

a quote or scene that haunts me: I Can CARRY YOU!

a death that left me indifferent: Fili. I love him but . . . that death scene was just meh.

a character i wish died but didn’t:: Tolkian was pretty good about killing off all the people you really don’t like, so none. Tho i prefer Grima’s movie death to the books.

my ship that never sailed: None. LOTR left my aroace soul and shipping crazed heart satisfied.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LV

It was a love story from the very beginning.

The Monster At Your Door

(10x04/10x09/10x10/10x11)

Hello my dear fandom! This is another meta from my Destiel Chronicles.

I want to say thank you to my friend @agusvedder , she made the gifs for this analysis, thank you girl!

And thanks to @destielle for editing this! 

This season doesn't have a lot of Destiel in it and was mostly Dean-centric.

So you will see me talking about how our hunter perceives himself as a monster.

Brothers and Sisters

In episode 10x04 ‘Paper Moon’ we saw Kate and her sister, two female werewolves, as mirrors of Sam and Dean.

Kate, the one who was trying to save her sister (Sam), and the little one Tasha, becoming a real monster (Dean).

After getting to know about Tasha and Kate's story, and Kate trying desperately to get her sister back, the Winchesters decide to help her. But there was a little piece of dialogue  between Sam and Dean that caught my attention…

SAM: Right, but how can you possibly blame Kate for fighting for her sister? We do it all the time.

DEAN: Well, yeah, and that's worked wonders for us.

The ultimate effort to save Dean Winchester at the end of the season will cause a huge cosmic consequence we all know: Amara. So, this quote here that could be read as very Winchester like is kind of a premonition of what is about to come next season.

And then, this scene… it points us at how Dean is really feeling inside.

KATE: But she can be saved!

DEAN: [blunt, but in despair] No. Tasha's in too deep. You don't ever come back from that, not ever.

How disturbingly painful it must be for Sam knowing his brother is losing faith in winning his battle against the mark.

There’s another interesting dialogue, now between the two sisters, where we can dissect the foreshadowing of Sam trying to get through to Dean in the last episode of this season.

KATE [pleading] T., I can help you get better.

TASHA [sneering evilly] Oh, I am better. And smarter and stronger… and awesome. I'm a freakin' superhero.

KATE Who kills innocent people? No, that's not you. You were a good kid.

So, Sam will try to save the innocent and good side of his brother, with all his power.

Because even if Dean perceives himself as a monster that can't be saved, Sam will always try to convince him otherwise. Just like Castiel…

You are a role model

Episode 10x09 ‘The Things We Left Behind’ is a beautiful episode that talks about GUILT. Not just Dean's guilt (we all know about that one, right?) But also Castiel's GUILT and his REGRETS.

Castiel visits Claire Novak, because he knows he hurt her a lot by possessing her father. So he tries to help her. But, because his PEOPLE TALKING SKILLS are ‘rusty’, he’s not able to communicate it the right way. So he helps her to escape instead.

In the middle of this episode we have this cute scene:

Dean watching TV, reflecting that innocent side I was talking about first, and Sam staring at him with sadness in his eyes, being worried about the mark. This situation points out their priorities.

Back to Castiel and Claire. There’s a very meaningful scene in which Cas talks about his experience as a human and what he has learned in that time…

CLAIRE: You’ve changed. The Castiel I met? He was crappy. Like super stuck-up and a dick and you just wanted to punch him in his stupid angel face.

CASTIEL: I don’t think I was THAT bad.

CLAIRE: You totally were. And now you’re just … I don’t know. Nicer. And kind of a doof. No offense.

CASTIEL: Yes, well, um… Before, I was very self-assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path. Now I realize that there is no righteous path. It’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it’s far too easy to do your worst.

This is amazing because Castiel is shouting out the important insights he has gained from being a human. This is character development at it’s best. Cas is not the same Castiel that possessed Claire's dad. She says he is nicer. Castiel has changed, for good. But the guilt of taking her family away from this girl is eating him up inside.

And it’s the same thing that eats Dean up inside as well.

Dean sees an opportunity to stay alone with Castiel on kind of a date with him. Both of them sitting in front of their burgers. We know Cas doesn't have to eat. So the scene is very cute and comfy.

The question whether or not ketchup is a vegetable and Dean answering Hell yes is demonstrating that Claire and the hunter are very alike.

This date is also a chance to put back the dot on the I again. Because… remember Cas and his ‘female in the car’? Well… our hunter needed to reinforce his ownership over the angel. 

But mostly… the guilt needs to be put on the table:

DEAN: (...) All right, so spill. What’s with the family reunion?

CASTIEL: I don’t know. I’ve just been … thinking about people.

[Dean glances around, then switches their plates, taking Cas’ burger and setting his empty plate in front of Cas.]

Okay, pause here, sorry but this is extremely cute… and Dean looking around like an innocent kid, it’s such a beautiful scene that I adore.

CASTIEL: No problem. I’ve helped some, but I’ve … I’ve hurt some.

DEAN: So you’re having a midlife crisis.

CASTIEL: Well, I’m extremely old. I think I’m entitled.

It’s so amazing each time Castiel reminds us he is an ancient creature that decided to spend his days with us…

DEAN: Cas, listen to me. There’s some stuff you just got to let go. Okay? The people you let down, the ones you can’t save … You got to forget about them. For your own good.

CASTIEL: Is that what you do?

Okay, here Dean is sensing Cas is feeling guilty, a territory he knows very well, so he tries to help him and give him advice, an advice Dean doesn't follow himself. And Castiel knows that too well. Because he can read Dean Winchester like a book. And we all know he won't let go Charlie's death.

And then… this jewel…

Dean is not used to receiving compliments. But Castiel is always calling him nice things. Because Cas sees the good in him, he knows DEAN IS SPECIAL. So Dean, Cas’ TFW teacher, is a role model for him. Of course he is. 

Look at Dean's flustered face, he has to avoid Castiel's tender gaze because he is feeling awkward. It looks like a don't say things like that to me on our date, bro- face.

One of my fave scenes ever.

Let's go with another one…

As I said, Castiel reads Dean like a book. So he knows when Dean is lying. He just knows Dean is not feeling well. And again, Dean is… enraptured by this. By how well Cas knows him. Look at his face… if I was telepath, which I'm not (yet) I would say, Dean ponders whether kissing him or not in that moment. It’s like… stop flirting with me or I will kiss you, bro. He even checks out Cas and stares at his lips. Gah!

Then, coming back to reality… Dean needs to know if Cas will kill him bc he is terrified of becoming a monster again:

DEAN: If I do go dark side, you got to take me out.

CASTIEL: What do you mean?

DEAN: Knife me. Smite me. Throw me into the freakin’ sun, whatever. And don’t let Sam get in the way, because he’ll try. I can’t go down that road again, man. I can’t be that thing again.

Dean is asking something impossible for Cas to do. As we will find out in one of the last episodes from this season. Castiel would never hurt Dean, even if he goes dark side.

Two Faces

After Dean is losing control, turning into the monster he was so afraid of becoming, killing Randy and those gangsters… nothing will be the same anymore. This bloody scene is a premonition of the end of this season, when Dean will eliminate the whole Stein family.

Episode 10x10 starts with this image:

Cracks in the mirror which are reflecting how Dean is feeling inside: broken.

This is an episode where light and shadow play a big role in the visual narrative, we can see Dean's face divide in one half lit and the other half drowned in shadows. Those halfs represent his two faces, his inner fight between ‘our’ Dean and the monster brought by the mark.

This episode was directed by Misha, so when we see Cas telling Dean he’ll be sending emojis… that wasn't OOC, that was just Misha 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Now, the important part of this episode is Claire trying to convince Dean to come by saying: ‘Castiel seemed to trust you, a lot’.

That was the signal for Dean. You drop Cas’ name, count Dean in!

But now let's jump to episode 10x11 because the game of the two faces is represented here again in the form of two Charlies, a good and an evil one. They are a metaphor for the way Dean feels inside, in fact the whole episode is a mirror of it.

The parallel between Dark!Charlie and Dean is blatant, because Dark!Charlie is seeking for revenge, just like Dean will after Charlie's death.

Charlie had to release her darkness to win a war, the same thing will happen to Dean. In order to win the war against a whole family (Stein) he will have to release the monster inside of him. At the end of the episode Dean and Dark!Charlie are having a fight, a fight between good friends as a foreshadowing of the Destiel fight in episode 10x22.

To conclude:

The monster inside Dean is on the threshold of being released. The episodes we were talking about showed us a lot of examples, mirrors of and parallels to that.

The symbolisms of two faces and broken mirrors were very interesting.

The synergy of light and darkness is also a foreshadowing for the next season with the appearance of God (light) and Amara (darkness).

The Destiel burger date was too cute, and Dean not knowing how to react to Castiel's compliments was even cuter. To Cas Dean will always be special and a role model, that's why he will be incapable of harming Dean in any way.

Hope you like this chronicle, see you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha @imjustkipping

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From season 10, these are the links...

LI, LII, LIII and LIV

Buenos Aires March 31 2020 10:03 PM

[morganas-pendragons]

Best Carol/Melissa Episodes

So I got bored in Quarantine and I was so moved by Look At The Flowers that I decided to make this list of the best episodes that either feature Carol/Melissa as a lead or she plays a large part in them. I haven’t seen S1-2 since like... 2014 as they’re my least favorite (i know i’m sorry but i did include honorable mentions) but I’m so freaking proud that I couldn’t not make this list. Here we go! Feel free to add to them! ** means they’re my favorite performances of Melissa! I do mention some scenes that are also with Norman/Daryl as he is a LARGE part of who Carol is. If you think it’s ‘’shippy’’ which it might be, don't read it. I worked on this for almost two hours. 

season 1

- for real, what woman keeps a grenade on hand? That was it. That was where I started paying attention to her. 

- also, the scene where she digs the pickaxe into Ed’s head? I think Daryl and I both fell for her then. 

season 2 

- the honorable mention!! the barn scene in which carol learns the fate of her daughter. I don’t remember most of s2, but this one I do. I think this might’ve been the first point in the show where I was like, “Hey Google, how to protect someone who isn’t real.’’

season 3

- walk with me: We get to see how Carol has changed during her time on the road after the farm and how much she’s learned. This is also, unfortunately, the last time we see her for a couple episodes until Daryl finds her in the cells below. 

- hounded: daryl finds carol. It’s sweet, it’s warm and soft and there’s alot of reunions and alot of mourning over T-Dog and Lori. 

season 4

- Carol has become a leader in her own right for this season. She teaches the kids how to defend themselves during the ruse of a story time and takes on Lizzie and Mika as her own after Ryan is bit. 

- indifference: After killing Karen and David to stop the spread out a virus, Rick takes it into his own hands to banish Carol. This one hurts too because it’s quite obvious why she did it. She did it to protect herself and the people she loves, but sometimes that’s just not enough. 

- the grove: emmy emmy emmy emmy material. Holy crap, I CANNOT stress this enough! This is the make or break episode for Carol as a character. There’s beauty and devastation and anguish all wrapped up into 45 minutes. This should’ve made Melissa well known. This should’ve won her multiple awards, and it didn’t. But we know. We know. 

season 5 

- sanctuary: this one goes down in history for multiple reasons, and most of us know them. 1.) Caryl reunions galore. Even if you don’t ship it, that moment is so, so sweet. 2.) If it weren’t for Carol, your fave would be dead. That’s literally it. 

- consumed: OOF. Really. 

- The back half of season 5 after the arrival at Alexandria is hilarious to me. Because these people are so sheltered from the darkness and the cruelty of the outside world that Carol takes on their own persona to blend in with them, to know the naivety of these people and to hide easily among them to get what she needs. This is also how she befriends Sam, who probably reminds her of Sophia which is why she’s so cruel to him. 

season 6 

- jss**: ‘’Miss Peletier, you are an honest to goodness hero.” No. Freaking. Way.  I remember watching this episode and rocking back and forth on my heels in anticipation because up until this point, I think this might’ve been one of the bloodiest moments in the show - and right in the center of it all is Carol - who is now of the mindset that, ‘’hey, we need to kill, we don’t have a choice.’’ and she portrays the internal struggle behind all of this so, so well. The scene with Melissa holding the body on the stairs was what won me over for this episode. It’s very much a merciless 45 minutes. 

- no way out: Carol is not a lead in this episode, but Melissa is very heavily influenced between this one and the previous because of her confrontation with Morgan. I remember how angry that made me, having to watch him bodyslam her (a former domestic abuse victim) against the floor. Outside of Carol, this episode is one of my favorites in the show. 

- not tomorrow yet/the same boat**: Carol moreso plays a bigger part in the latter as opposed to the former, but these two episodes really showcase two things: Her heart to protect her family (IE: A now pregnant Maggie) and her deteriorating mental state. Outside of The Grove, I think this is one of Melissa’s most powerful performances. it’s also the only female led ep in the show  

- east**: I cried the first time I watched this. Carol vs The Saviors, #2. This episode breaks between Morgan and Rick going out to look for her (HENCE ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE QUOTES ABOUT CAROL: “That woman, she’s a force of nature.) I don’t think I really understood the power behind the eyes in the midst of television until I saw this episode. I can’t find the gif, but I’m sure most of you who’re reading this know what I’m talking about. 

- last day on earth**: again this episode shifts between perspectives as TF is trying to get Maggie to Hilltop for her pregnancy complication, but Melissa is stellar here. Carol doesn’t want to love because if she loves, she has to kill, and she attempts to manipulate one of the survivors from the massacre into doing what she can’t: taking her own life. She just wants to go, and Morgan won’t let her. This one is a bit darker, and the episode as a whole is not my favorite, but it’s definitely up there in my favorite performances for Melissa. 

season 7 

- the well: if there was ever an episode that would show you that Melissa aces comedy, it was this one. This is meant to be an introductory to The Kingdom, but the hilarity behind the way Carol talks to Ezekiel is so entertaining. It’s kind of hard to believe she ends up marrying the man (we’re not going into shipper discourse here, friends) but this one also shows you something through Carol’s eyes: The differences between people and walkers and her desire not to kill. She wants to hide, and she does. 

- new best friends: Daryl lies to Carol about what happened in the clearing with Negan. This one is so so heartfelt. It’s deeply intimate. It showcases two people who’d move heaven and earth to ensure the safety of the other, both physical and mental and emotional. Norman and Melissa aced this. I can’t say it more simply then that. 

- bury me here**: I love love love love love this episode. The entire thing is a metaphor, but I love it anyway. If I remember right, this is also the one where Morgan tells Carol about Glenn and Abraham. Remember what I said about the power behind a look? This is another instance in which Melissa shows she is the master of this. 

- carol spends alot of the time at the kingdom for the rest of the season and i cannot really remember any more memorable performances for this garbage, as they took my fave and reduced her to a side character for this and most of s8.

season 8 

- the only performance i will give any credit to in this season is 8x04, which is Some Guy. I barely remember the rest of it. Minus the moment where she finally saves a kid - Henry - instead of losing one. And a heartbreaking moment between her and Morgan that I also barely remember. Case in point, S8 was and still is garbage. 

season 9 

- 9x01-9x05 all have Carol in them because whenever Angela Kang took over the show, she had the brilliant idea to actually use her lead women as leads. Season 9 feels like an eternity ago and I can’t remember if she took over before or after AL signed off, but my point remains. Between Carol’s loyalty to Ezekiel because of Henry, (who she has now taken as her son), and their marriage, and her short stint as the leader of the Sanctuary as Negan is in confinement, there’s something in Carol here we haven’t seen in years. It’s something akin to peace, or as close as she’s gonna get to it. 9x03 and 9x04 (particularly the conversation b/t Rick and Carol) are my favorite of this cluster for her. 

- I almost dropped off after 9x05. I thought that was it, I thought that was gonna be where I ended. Nope. This woman - AK- took this show and made it what it had been and I’ll never be able to thank her enough for it. 

- Who Are You Now: I only remember this one because of the scene where Carol and Henry are in the carriage - side note: I really need to go back and rewatch this season again - but one of the things that caught my attention about the after of the bridge was how the relationships b/t parent and child are approached as significant. They’re not the future. The adults are building for the future of the kids. Michonne/Judith, Ezekiel/Henry and Carol/Henry. It’s sweet. Very sweet. 

- Stradivarius: this is a very Caryl heavy episode, but we find out something here: Even with being married to Ezekiel, Carol has still gone out to see Daryl where he resides by the same river that took Rick. Henry sees the relationship between him and his mother. It’s as obvious as the nose on your face. This one is just adorable. I love it. 

- The Calm Before**: Ow. OW OW OW OW OW. You want more pain? Here you go! Carol faces the dark truth as she crests the hill that holds her worst nightmare: Henry has died. She’s lost another kid. You wanna restrain yourself from breaking through the TV to comfort Carol for the umpteenth time as she breaks? Cool. That’s what you get here. 

- The Storm**: Split apart by the death of Henry, Carol and Ezekiel no longer remain married. She gives up that fairytale - one of the happiest she’d ever had - and begins wallowing in her suffering over the loss of her son. Heartbreak and grief do not come easily to her. They never have. Can you imagine being suffocated by things you’ve never talked about? Can you imagine having to live every day with your grief? Well, look here... that’s exactly what Carol does, and you want to know who her guiding force is? 

It’s Daryl. 

season 10 

- I remember when Season 10 aired, I watched the first episode in Kenya and loved it. I’d heard something about how PTSD was a BIG factor in the progression of the story throughout this season, and as someone who wants to go into mental health counseling, I was so intrigued by this that every single episode kept my eyes glued to the TV. Carol is the lead female now besides Michonne, but I’m gonna tell you every single favorite episode of mine anyway. 

- Ghosts: Carol makes a mistake and fires at Alpha when they meet her at the border. She wears a mask that’s so composed it’s almost hard to see the heartbreak beneath it, and that’s the point. She’s not considering her life. She’s considering vengeance for the life that was taken. This is a constant circle for her. Alot of people are tired of this arc and I get it, I do. But the difference between this one and the three seasons previous is that we’re meant to get to a resolution now. This episode broke my heart. Especially the last scene in the gym. 

- Bonds: Another Caryl heavy episode. I love this one. It’s very lighthearted compared to the rest of the season. 

- Open Your Eyes**: This one is utterly terrifying and eerily reminiscent of the one in S2 where Daryl interrogates Randall. Carol, having just brought back a Whisperer from her escapade with Daryl, interrogates him to find out the location of Alpha’s horde without any real consideration for the people around her. She also uses Lydia for her own personal gain, and I’m not gonna lie - Even though this one is one of my favorites because of Avi Nash (WHO WAS SUCH A GOOD ADDITION TO THE SHOW I LOVED HIM AS SIDDIQ) This episode made me so angry because of Carol’s motives. 

-  The World Before**: And when I said I was angry, this episode turned it all into heartbreak. This one remains one of my favorite of the show and of Carol for one very specific reason: The scene in the woods between her and Daryl. 

As someone who has never done grieving well, this scene hit me so. hard. She’s so set on this path of vengeance and blood that she’s neglecting a very real truth that she has never done well: talking about her burdens, talking about the pain and if she does that, if she acknowledges it, then she will hurt. 

- Squeeze: I don’t have to talk about this. I just have to show you. 

Ow. Please, please let her heal. I’m so tired of seeing her hurt. 

- 10x11 and 10x12 don’t really have Carol, and neither does 10x13, but she’s there. We see her a couple of times, we have a conversation or two. Let me get to the penultimate moment. One we’ve waited for years to see and which next week will give us the rest of. 

- LOOK AT THE FLOWERS*****: You can be a Carol fan for five minutes or five years and still somehow managed to love her MORE after watching this one. There’s a couple reasons why this one is probably in my top 3 for both Melissa and Carol as a whole. 

1. I have waited years to see Negan meet Carol. JDM has made it very clear how he feels about MMB and I knew, I knew, that once this interaction happened I would not be disappointed. I should’ve realized she was the one who let Negan out, but I didn’t. That entire first scene is gold. 

2. This entire episode is just.. art. The fact that Carol’s darker side takes the form of the being of her hatred - Alpha - is fitting, and it’s also the first time we’ve really gotten an actual dialogue about multiple things that have formed her character for the last several seasons: The Grove, the loss of Sophia, Ed... It’s heartbreaking to see because she keeps telling herself pushing people away is better, it’s better to be alone because there’s no one to burden, and the darker side of her asks a very simple question: What do you want? 

Her answer is clear, at least to her. I want to be alone. But the fact that the darker part of her, the one that keeps calling out on Connie, doesn’t agree. No. There’s something deeper. Something she’s too afraid to acknowledge. 

3. That whole final scene. Wow. I’ve watched it like four times because Samantha Morton is just so good as Alpha, as Carol’s dark counterpart, trying to mock and taunt her into doing the one thing she never was able to do herself: Dying. This episode is dark because of this realization. “Look at the flowers’’ is akin to ‘’It’ll all be over soon.” but instead of choosing death, instead  of choosing the one thing that would let it be over, she chooses life. She essentially chooses to fight for herself which she has not done in YEARS. The minute she acknowledges that it’s never too late (FOR WHAT?? HM??) the demons disappear. I think that this point into 10x15 will give us two things that every Carol fan is desperate for: Healing for Carol (FINALLY!), and a resolution to this endless arc of suffering. 

Also... Why do we think that Daryl is the one who ends up welcoming her home? Why is he the one who opens the gate? 

Long story short: I love this character. I love Melissa McBride as she is one of the most down-to-earth, humble and compassionate actresses in Hollywood. It’s a shame she’s not gonna be recognized by The Academy because if ever there was an actor/actress on this show to win, it’d be her. 

[dacrethehalls]

Wild Flowers

Summary: Samantha Harrington never expected to spend her entire spring break with Billy Hargrove and Billy Hargrove never expected to fall in love with Samantha Harrington.

Word Count: 9.9k

A/N: *RE-POSTED FROM MY OLD ACCOUNT* loosely based on the Chateau music video Dacre is in. credit to Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstine for the quotes in this, and shout out to all my faves who we name dropped in this.

******

"Hey....Emily.....No, Amanda? No-no, it's Laura!" Tommy H. sputtered, leaning against my locker. I rolled my eyes, grabbing my books and balancing against my hip.

"Tommy, we have literally been in the same class since we were seven and you still can't remember my name." I muttered, slamming my locker shut.

"Shit, it's Andy isn't it? Or is it...something that Starts with an R? Or is it a K? Kiki right?"

He could have gone on for hours guessing my name and would still get it wrong. I held up my hand, shaking my head,

"Stop before you hurt yourself. What do you want?" I asked, shifting the weight on my feet.

"Billy is busy today, he said his brother is in town or something and I was going to ask you to-"

"If you finish that sentence with 'ask Steve', I will punch you." I cut off, turning on my heel and strutting towards the parking lot.

"Aw, come on Regan lighten up! " He yelled as he ran to catch up with me.

"That's not my name either." I groaned, "Give it a rest will ya? And last time I checked, you and Steve are not friends...like... at all so go find someone else to blindly follow."

Tommy crossed his arms glaring at me,

"Oh my god. Yes, I'll talk to him."

He smiled at me as I kept walking,

"Thank you, Dot!" He yelled out as I stuck my middle finger in the air.

"That boy really needs to get his own personality." I breathed

I plod out to my car unlocking it,

"Maddie wait!" I let out a defeated groan. "What do you want Keith?"

"Can you cover my shift tonight?"

"I quit The Palace like, three weeks ago." I huffed, leaning on my car.

"And for the last time my name is Samantha. Like the show Bewitched"

"I thought your name was Krista?"

I rolled my eyes, getting in my car driving home.

******

"Not one, but seven. Seven different names Steve. All of which are nowhere close to mine." I grumbled laying across his bed.

"Sammy, relax."

"It's kinda hard to when you have lived in the same town your entire life and nobody can remember your name. Samantha." I drew my name out slowly, "It comes after 'Steve and'."

"Uh so i'm taking Dustin and the others to see a movie tonight. I won't be home until later."

"Way to change the subject, asshole."

"What?"

"I'm telling you that your friends are being pricks to me and you just mention going to the movies with some random kid."

"He's a good kid, Sam."

"Doesn't matter if he's the goddamn president of the United States, I'm telling you that something upsets me and you're blowing me off!"

"Sam, you can't let things like that upset you, okay? Now I gotta go or we'll be late for the showing."

"What I really need is to spend time with my big brother and just forget about this whole stupid thing."

"Maybe later!" He hollered, already out the bedroom door and trotting down the stairs.

I rolled my eyes, rolling onto my stomach and letting out a frustrated groan, blowing the hair away from my face.

Those were always the words I got from Steve when I asked if I could hang out with him; maybe later.

******

The next day at school was the usual, being ignored, people getting my name wrong, including teachers.

I had a nice cry at lunch in my car and ended my day in my favorite spot, a field full of wildflowers outside of the football field.

When the snow started melting away and the temperature went up I would spend my afternoon out there finishing homework and picking the flowers around me. I sat with my legs crossed, a pile of Johnny jump ups and dandelions beside me. I wound the stems together, finding the process relaxing.

"Samantha!" I jerked my head in the direction the voice came from, Billy Hargrove was striding towards me.

"Hi?" I questioned as he reached the blanket I was sitting on,

"Hey, so I was out of school for a few days," he chuckled, pointing at the disappearing bruise under his eye, "Basketball concussion, any way, we have third period chem together and I was wondering if I could copy your notes...and maybe your homework." He asked

Of course the only thing he wanted with me was to use me for my homework. At least he actually knew my name. I'll give him that. I leaned over to my bag, grabbing my chemistry notes handing them to him.

"Do you mind if I sit here with you incase I have questions? I know missing one of Mrs. Valentine's classes really means missing like, five classes. I've missed three so basically I'm fucked."

I chuckled, scooting over on my blanket to make room for him,

"Nah, Mrs. V has been out sick we've had a sub so you haven't missed much."

He offered me a soft smile, pulling his notebook put laying on his stomach, scribbling words on his paper,

"Man, you're pretty thorough, color coded and everything." He noticed, his eyes scanning over the highlighted words and pink gel pen. I hummed in acknowledgement, eyes focusing on the floral stems I held in my lap as I weaved them together.

"Jeez, I may as well just be reading the damn textbook... except at least this shit makes sense." He grumbled as he tapped his pencil against his notepad.

"Yup." I hummed, mindlessly twisting the stems around each other.

I still couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Billy Hargrove barely gave anybody the time of day, let alone me. Sure, he had his little groupies that followed him around, but they were nowhere in sight. Even Tommy was gone.

"So, uh, you got any spring break plans?" I questioned.

"Not really. My brother is in town, though."

"Billy Hargrove doesn't have any spring break plans?" I gasped, placing my hand over my heart, "What, you aren't going back to bright, sunny California?"

"Pfft, I wish." He scoffed, "Get the hell out of here. It's April and it's still cold!"

"Yeah, that's the midwest for ya." I sighed,

I plopped the flower crown I was weaving on to Billy's head making him break his concentration.

"What's this?" He huffed, poking away his curls from his face as his eyes darted up at me. His brows were knit together in confusion, almost going cross eyed as he attempted to get a walked at what was on his head.

"It's a crown." I beamed, placing the other one I made on my own head, "The purple and yellows in the flowers really bring out the blue in your eyes."

"What kind of hippie bullshit is this?" He questioned, plucking it off of his head and staring at it. Despite his gruff demeanor, I could see the blush creeping up on his cheeks.

"Oh, come on. It makes you walked... soft..." I hummed, gently taking it from his grasp and putting it back on his head.

"Soft?" He scoffed.

Of all the things he had ever been described as, it was never soft. He was more likely to hear a string of profanities and slurs directed at him than to be called soft. Hell, I was occasionally known to call him a dickhead every once in a while. Especially after what he did to my brother. I was about ready to take that spiked bat and go after the bastard myself.

"Balances out the black eye, you know? Actually... it kinda matches." I observed, staring at the eerie yellow color that crept under his eye and in towards his nose. A sign that the bruise was healing.

Billy took his crown off once again, setting it next to his notebook.

"Question." I blurted,

Billy hummed as I laid back on the blanket, looking over at him while he continued to scribble notes down.

"How the hell do you know my name?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow, staring at me, "I sit behind you in third and sixth period. I see you write it on your paper. Now your last name I don't know."

I let out a loud laugh, sitting up,

"You're kidding me right? Billy, you have to be joking."

The expression on his face led me to believe he was serious,

"Samantha Harrington, otherwise known as The Other Harrington, Steve's Sister, Hey You, Little Harrington, Dakota, Anna, Becca, any and every name that is not remotely close to Samantha." I huffed, blowing a strand of hair away from my eyes.

"You and Steve are siblings?" He pressed.

"He's a whopping 18 months older than me. My parents only wanted one kid, I was an accident. They sorta treat me that way too, the entire town does." I scoffed, rolling my eyes,

"They give me a credit card just so I wont bother them. But I don't use it. I don't need shit from them."

His eyes studied my features, eyebrow still raised as if he expected me to keep talking,

"When I graduate, I'm getting the hell out of Indiana." I sighed, fiddling with the stems of the flowers I had left in my lap.

"I want to travel, live in my car go on fun adventures with my best friend-if I had one. Find a house in a field of flowers. Make as many crowns as I want." I said, placing the flowers once again on Billy's head.

He let a grunt out in defeat as he moved the curls from his eyes once again,

"You know, if you got that cut off, you wouldn't have to keep brushing it out of your eyes." I commented.

"No way in hell I'm cutting this baby off." He replied, smoothing his hand over his hair after taking the crown off again.

I rolled my eyes for what must've been the dozenth time,

"Tommy mentioned something about your brother being in town."

Billy let out a disgusted groan,

"Unfortunately."

"That bad, huh?"

"That bad. He's the favorite son... Star football player, got a scholarship to some school he's way too stupid to attend." Billy griped.

"Does he have a better hair cut? When's the last time you brushed that rats nest?" I questioned, picking up the flower crown and placing it on his head for the hundredth time. Billy grunted in defeat, sitting up.

"According to everyone, he has a better everything then me." Billy rolled his eyes, pulling his cigarettes from his jacket pocket placing one between his lips.

"Bad habit." I scolded, taking it from his mouth and replacing it with a flower.

Billy grunted again, spitting the flower onto the ground as a dragonfly flew over us then zig zagged back, landing on Billy's shoulder. He glanced over at it with a soft expression before moving his shoulder so it would fly away.

"You know dragonflies are often thought to be loved ones coming to visit you after passing away. According to the Native Americans, they bring rejuvenation after hardship." I announced, watching another dragonfly zip past us.

Billy closed his book and sat up, "Thank you, Sam." He yawned, standing up.

"You're welcome, if you ever need my notes again just ask." I chuckled as Billy put another cigarette between his lips.

"I may take you up on that, Sam. Turn the B I have into an A." He laughed as he attempted to light his cigarette, "It's getting dark out, you okay out here by yourself? Or if you want I can walk you out to your car or give you a ride home."

"Thanks, but I might stay out here a little bit longer. The stars are almost out, I like watching them." I mused, earning a raised eyebrow from Billy.

"Okay. well, have a good spring break Sammie. Thanks again." He conceded, rocking back on his heels and heading towards the parking lot.

******

A tap at my window nearly made me jump out of my skin. I spun around in my desk chair, opening the blinds, assuming Steve was an idiot and forgot his key again. To my surprise, a familiar mullet-headed boy offered me a grin and a wave. I glanced over my shoulder to my bedroom door that was still ajar. I rushed over to close it, being careful not to slam it for fear of Steve finding out who was at my window.

I returned to the window sill, unlatching it and throwing it open. I watched as Billy climbed through my window, nearly knocking my glass of water off my night stand.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned.

"You want to travel? Go on an adventure? Let's do it." He panted, adjusting his jacket as he got his footing on the carpet.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Let's just forget about this shitty town and our shitty parents and step out of the shadow of our siblings."

I stared up at him, dumbfounded for a moment, only to notice a new bruise on his cheek. I furrowed my brows,

"Billy. What happened?"

"Don't worry about it, Sammie," He murmured, walking over to my bookshelf glancing at the books, various academic trophies, and my collection of porcelain horses.

He picked up my polaroid camera, pointing it towards me and snapping a picture of me.

"Excuse you!" I exclaimed, trying to snatch the photo out of his hand as he shook it.

"Not a chance, princess."

"Princess." I mumbled under my breath.

He placed the picture in his jacket pocket as he grinned down at me,

"Are you really that desperate to do something over spring break that you want to spend it with me? The other Harrington?" I questioned, crossing my arms.

"Sam, knock it off. You may be a little off your rocker but it's in an endearing way," Billy grinned, lifting the camera up and pointing it at me and getting into the frame as well.

"So what do you say? Hmm? Let's go on an adventure, use up some of mommy and daddy's money. Get out of Indiana or not." He clicked the shutter button, making the camera flash.

He grinned at me, placing that picture in his jacket pocket as well.

This boy was completely crazy, but I knew that Steve would be too preoccupied with the kids that decided he was the best brother figure they could find. He wouldn't even notice that his own flesh and blood sibling was gone. It would also drive Steve up the wall if he found out who I was with.

"Okay. Fine, let's go." I cheered, jumping up and grabbing my bag, packing a bunch of clothes for various occasions. Billy sat on my bed watching as I ran around my room gathering as many things as I could.

"I don't know if Steve is still awake or not so you gotta go back through my window. I'll meet you outside in like ten minutes." I whispered as Billy got up and started climbing out my window.

I shut it behind him, grabbing my bag and heading down the stairs.

"Hey Steve, I'll be home later." I called, walking past him and all his middle schoolers who were all yelling at one another.

Steve threw up a thumb, not even acknowledging me as I pranced out the front door. The thought of getting out of Hawkins sounded more and more appealing. I bumped my bag into Billy's butt, making him turn around.

"There you are." He grinned, taking my bag from my hands.

"We're taking the Camaro."

"No, we're taking Priscilla."

"What the fuck is a Priscilla?"

I grinned, nodding my head to my bright red 1965 Volkswagen Beetle, my baby that I had saved up for and bought myself after turning sixteen.

"I am not riding in that death trap."

"It's okay, Prissy. The mean mullet man didn't mean to call you a death trap. He's just intimidated." I cooed, patting her hood and smirking over at Billy.

"I'm not intimidated." Billy whispered under his breath.

"Then lets go!" I giggled, taking my bag from him and putting it in the back seat.

Billy shook his head, opting not to continue the argument. He grabbed his bag, placing it next to mine.

"You can park your car in the garage."

I pulled out, Billy replacing my spot in the garage with his car. I shut the door as Billy climbed into my car with a grunt.

"So, I didn't think I could actually talk you into doing this since we kinda just met, so I didn't plan this far ahead." Billy admitted, glancing at me.

"It's okay. I know a great place to go to start our adventure."

******

"What the hell is this place?"

"Some boujee country club my parents used to belong to." I replied, "It's disgustingly expensive."

"Then what exactly are we doing here?" He replied, raising an eyebrow at me.

"We're getting a room for the night. For free."

"For free? Yeah, right." He scoffed.

"You think I can't do it? What with my Harrington charm?" I drawled, twirling a strand of hair around my finger.

He rolled his eyes at me,

"Tell you what, let's make a bet." I proposed.

"Now you've got my attention."

I pursed my lips, humming to myself as I thought of what our wager should be,

"If we get in... you have to get your mullet cut off."

"Hey! No way in hell!"

"What, you worried that I'm right?"

"No." He scoffed.

"Then what's your wager if you win?"

"Priscilla." He smirked.

"You got a deal."

His smirk dropped as he realized that I had the confidence to bet my car, my baby. He knew he was getting that haircut.

"Come on, blondie!" I called as I skipped up to the front of the club.

Billy and I both wondered to the front doors, inside a fountain trickled in the background and the pristine white tiles reflected the lights from the ceiling.

"Welcome, how can we help you?" The woman behind the front desk greeted. "Hello, I'm Samantha..Harring...rove.. uh Hargrove," I chirped, glancing up at Billy who looked at me with shock, "And this is my Husband.....Billy." I snaked my arm through his, leaning my head on his shoulder hugging him into my side.

He put on an unconvincing fake grin, flashing it at the woman,

"My parents had a membership here and Billy and I are newly weds. They gifted us a membership under their names." I chided.

"Yes ma'am! What are your parents' names?"

"Timothy and Patricia Harrington."

The lady's head shot up at the sound of my parents names.

"I didn't know Timmy and Trish had a daughter! I thought Steve was their only child." She beamed as I dug my nails into Billy's arm.

He cleared his throat, slightly nudging me in an attempt to get me to loosen my grip,

"You know, your parents said this place was nice, but I hear there's a much better place upstate. Maybe we should cancel the membership and head up their instead."

"If you stay here, all of our newly weds get complimentary room service." The woman offered, startled by Billy's suggestion to take our money elsewhere.

"That sounds nice, doesn't it, sweetheart?" I encouraged.

He gave me a nod, letting out a sigh of relief when I retracted my nails from his skin.

"You'll be staying in suite 315, it's between the gym and the indoor heated pool." She instructed, pointing out the window behind her.

"Thank you." I cheered enthusiastically.

"Congrats!" She called after us as we stepped back outside. Billy pulled his arm from mine,

"I think you made me bleed." He commented, staring down at the half moon marks on the inside of his arm.

"Don't be such a baby." I retorted, going to the door of our room and shoving the key in the lock.

I let out a sigh of relief as the chilled air from the room hit me in the face. The bed was enormous, covered in crisp, white sheets with the logo of the club embroidered into them with green thread. Billy trailed in behind me, throwing his bag down on the floor by the bedside table. I slipped off my shoes, immediately hopping off the floor and landing face first on the bed.

"They're so soft!" I exclaimed, voice muffled by the sheets against my skin.

Billy laid on his side beside me, reading off the menu of the country club's overpriced restaurant,

"On tonight's dinner menu we have pacific caviar and braised lamb with whipped garlic parmesan mashed spuds." He mocked in the most obnoxious, rich old lady accent I had ever heard. And I had heard my fair share of obnoxious rich old ladies at my parent's stupid dinner parties, "Darling, I heard the wine selection is to dieeee for." I rolled over, flicking my wrist while holding my hand over my heart.

"How about we just order a pizza and go for drinks later at that bar we passed. Maybe do some golf cart races?"

"Sounds like a plan to me. But first we have to do something with that rats nest on that head of yours." I smirked, running my fingers in his curls.

Billy swatted my hand away, turning his head to glare at me.

"The mullet stays," he mumbled.

"But my dear husband, remember the bet we made in the car? The one where if I could actually get us a room here you would cut your hair." I giggled, tapping his nose.

"It's never going to happen. I don't remember shaking on that deal." He grunted.

"You lost fair and square buddy. Say bye bye to the mullet."

******

I smirked as Billy strolled out of the salon, his mullet was gone and replaced by a clean shave in the back and his natural curls still up front.

He looked even more handsome than before. I let out a whistle letting, him know I liked it.

"It looks like shit," He objected, crossing his arms.

"No it doesn't. Now come on, there's a club here we can go to. We'll have a few drinks then go back to the room and order pizza." I hummed, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the club.

"This place is obnoxious." Billy cringed, peering around at all the random couples spread throughout the bar.

"It's a country club. It's supposed to be obnoxious." I chimed, pulling Billy to a table and sitting down at it.

We ordered a few drinks and a appetizer as we people watched the rich folk around us.

The beginning of the song from Dirty Dancing started blasting through the speakers, making me gasp. I turned my gaze over to Billy with a big grin on my face.

I didn't even have to say a damn word,

"No."

"Come on please, I've always wanted to do it. Billy PLEASE!" I begged as I started swaying my hips along to the song.

I danced around his chair as he watched me with a deadpan expression,

"You're the one thing I can't get enough of!" I belted.

"No."

"AND I OWE IT ALL TO YOUUUUU." I sang as Billy groaned, standing up and walking away from me.

"Oh, come on! Where are you going?" I laughed as I kept dancing

"Are we going to do this or not?"

I let out a loud squeal, causing the people around to stare at us.

I started singing at the top of my lungs, walking towards Billy grabbing his hand as we started to twist back and forth along to the song.

"This will never happen again," He gibbed as I twirled around him.

"This is our first dance as husband and wife. We had to make it memorable." I quipped, doing a boogie away from him as the song built up. I kept swaying back and forth before running towards Billy and jumping as he caught me by the hips, lifting me above his head.

I crossed my legs, putting my arms out, smiling knowing that Jennifer Grey would be so proud.

I smiled down at Billy who had a huge shit eating grin plastered across his face. He placed me back on my feet, pulling me closer to him as we kept dancing.

"Ahem, Mr. and Mrs Hargrove, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the club for tonight. You are disrupting the rest of the customers."

Billy and I glanced over at the waiter, busting out in laughter as we ran out of the bar. "People don't know how to have a good time anymore." I groaned as we stumbled into the lobby.

Billy grabbed my hand, pulling me over to the grand piano in the corner.

"I noticed your keyboard in your room. You play?" He asked, sitting on the bench.

He cracked his knuckles, wiggling his fingers before pressing them on the keys, playing the beginning of Claire De Lune.

I glanced at him from my peripheral, pressing my fingers on the keys, playing along with him. "Been playing since I was seven. Rode my bike to my lessons every week."

Billy bit down on his lip before the corners of his mouth turned up.

"I think I started lessons at seven too."

"Who knew the Billy Hargrove has a thing for Debussy and ivory keys." I praised.

He swayed along to the music we were producing together,

"Ahem."

We both turned our heads over at the person behind the desk who was pointing at the giant sign behind us stating that the piano was not to be touched.

"Oops." I giggled, standing up, "Let's go back to our room before we get into more trouble."

"Nah, I'm sure we can find some more trouble we can get into." Billy chirped, standing up. We both shuffled outside and around the country club before coming up to a closed off section.

"You ever crash a wedding before?" I smirked, eyeing Billy as he lit a cigarette.

"Bad habit!" I scolded, taking the stick out of his mouth and replacing it with the pendant from his necklace.

"Will you stop that!" He grunted, taking the cigarette back from me, "We are not crashing somebody's wedding."

We continued our walk around the courtyard, coming across a golf cart. We both looked at each other than made a mad dash to the vehicle

Billy slid me over to the passenger side before climbing in the driver's side, pressing his foot all the way down on the gas pedal.

He drove off the sidewalk turning the wheel sharply making golf cart whip around in a circle.

Before long, the security guards pulled us over, screaming at us to stop and pointing at more signs stating boring rules for the boring people who actually paid money to stay at this place.

We laughed all the way back to the hall leading to our suite,

"Tonight was fun." Billy cackled as we walked into our suite.

"Yeah it was. I'll take the bed. Is the couch okay with you?" I questioned as Billy pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it on the floor and falling face first onto the couch.

"Mmhmm." He hummed.

"Good night, Billy." I whispered throwing a blanket over him.

He let out another soft hum.

"Good night, Sammie."

******

The next morning, I woke up and went down to the travel desk in the lobby, setting up all the things I needed to to surprise Billy with a small trip to California.

I tiptoed into the living room and over to the couch, shaking Billy slightly. "Wake up sleepyhead. Check out is in an 45 minutes and our flight leaves in an hour."

Billy grunted, lifting his head to walked at me.

"Did you just say flight?" He grumbled, his voice hoarse with sleep.

"Sure did. The in-laws bought us round trip tickets to California for the next two days." I beamed as Billy sat straight up, looking at me.

"Did you really buy tickets to go to Cali? Sam, you're shitting me."

Billy climbed over the couch, picking me up hugging me to him. "Thank you Sammie!"

I leaned in kissing Billy's nose, causing him jump a little from shock,

"Come on and get dressed!" I trilled, pushing him toward the bathroom.

******

The flight was longer than I expected it to be. Once we landed in California, I picked up the car I had rented. I eyed Billy who about fell on the ground when the blue convertible Corvette was brought to us. "That's the car you decided to rent!?" He exclaimed, almost drooling over it.

"Mmhm," I hummed, throwing my bag in the back seat and then climbing in the front.

"You know where the Chateau Marmont is?" I questioned, smiling at him.

"Did you get us a room there?" His eyes grew wide.

"Nah, it was too expensive, even for my parents. I booked a hotel overlooking the beach."

Once we got settled into the hotel, both of us were starving. We ventured out, finding some Mexican restaurant that Billy started raving about.

The food was decent and not too expensive but it wasn't like I was afraid of my parents finding out about me spending the amount of money I had in the past few days. They didn't care as long as I didn't bother them.

"Hey!" Billy yelled, catching up to me. "Uh..um.. I got you this," He panted, placing a heart shaped ring into my hand.

I examined it, smiling up at him, "Tanzanite, the December birthstone has energy for emotional healing from all worries. It brings happiness." I informed.

"Yeah..okay. I uh, just found a quarter on the ground and put it in a gumball machine. I mean, you're my wife and I didnt even give you a ring so." He grinned, gesturing to the ring.

"See, tanzanite brings happiness." I beamed as I slipped the ring on my left hand.

"So, does your mom live here?" I questioned as we made our way down the street.

"No. She passed away a while back." He sighed, a frown forming on his face.

"I'm sorry for your loss. You two were close?"

He nodded

"My mother was my best friend, she was a phenomenal woman. I never understood what she ever saw in my dad, he's a shit person." He chided through clenched teeth.

"Does he do this to you?" I asked, lightly touching the yellowing on his skin. He ignored me, walking ahead of me getting into the car.

"He does doesn't he? Are you going to be okay when we go back to Indiana?"

"Yes, Sam, I'll be okay." He retorted as we drove off into the direction of the hotel.

"Are you sure? If you ever need a place to stay you are we-"

"I'm fine Sam. Drop it." He snapped, cutting me off.

"Billy Hargrove is that you?!" Billy's head snapped to the car beside us at the red light we were stopped at.

"Sure is." He chortled, pulling his sunglasses down to his nose.

"Are you back for good?" The guy asked.

Billy shook his head "Nah, my....Sam and I came here for our spring break. We're leaving tomorrow night."

The guy in the car frowned as the light turned green.

"There's a party tonight at Olivia's place! Better see you there!" The boy yelled, driving off.

Billy's eyes lit up as he glanced over at me.

"Party tonight?" He questioned.

I pursed my lips together, rolling my eyes,

"Do we have to?" I groaned.

"Yes, I haven't seen these people in a long time!"

No matter how hard I tried to change Billy's mind, he wouldn't budge. And that's how I ended up at a party full of people I didn't know, sitting next to a Pug named Joe. Not exactly my ideal way of spending my first time in California. But I could tell that Billy missed his friends so I tried my best not to complain.

Music blared through the house as random teens danced around to Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne. I pushed past the crowd, finding Billy talking to some random girl by the keg as he poured himself another beer.

I was never a partier, when my brother dated Nancy Wheeler, she would always make him take me to parties. Most of the time it would end with me walking home or me hitching a ride from Jonathan Byers who hated parties as much as I did.

I stood next to Billy, nudging him with my elbow, frowning at him nodding my head towards the gate we had walked through when we arrived to the party.

"Sam, it's a party go have fun. Go drink." Billy shooed at me with his solo cup.

I rolled my eyes, walking towards the beach, digging my toes in the sand once I set foot on the grain surface. I plucked a few evening primrose from the steps, placing the stems into my plaited hair as I continued further down to the water. The booming music became more and more distant.

The beach was beautiful, and the California sunset even more so. What everyone considered a beach in Hawkins didn't even compare to this.

I took my time walking along the shore, picking up only the best shells and pieces of sea glass.

"Why aren't you at the party?" I heard a voice from behind me, I recognized it, so I didn't bother to look up,

"What're you doing?" He asked, watching as I scooped a sand dollar off the sand before the tide could pull it back in, "Collecting shells?"

"She sells seashells by the sea shore," I chirped, offering Billy the sand dollar. He rolled his eyes, taking it from me and throwing it into the ocean.

"Hey!" I hissed, crossing my arms.

"God dammit, Samantha can you not be weird for once? You're embarrassing me in front of my friends."

"I don't see anyone but us around," I shrugged, reaching into the water and picking up another shell.

"Sam. Please. Just pretend to be normal." He begged, reaching for the flowers woven into my braid and pulling them out.

"Excuse you!" I yelled, smacking his hands away, "Go party with your friends. I'll be okay by myself. Always have been." I fumed.

"I'm not leaving you out here alone. Just come back to the party, pretend to be normal and we'll come to the beach tomorrow."

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

"Are you really quoting Dr. Seuss? This is the shit im talking about. Normal people don't quote Dr. Seuss."

"If normal people don't quote Dr. Seuss, how do you know it's a Dr. Seuss quote?" I replied, and that was as close to a rebuttal as he was going to get from me tonight. I wasn't about to get dragged in to a Billy Hargrove argument. Especially not on spring break.

Billy continued to follow me as I kept examining shells and placing them into my pockets.

"Somebody has to go polish the stars, They're looking a little bit dull. Somebody has to go polish the stars, For the eagles and starlings and gulls have been complaining they're tarnished and worn, They say they want new ones we cannot afford. So please get your rags and your polishing jars, Somebody has to go polish the stars." I beamed, spinning in a small circle, kicking some water up at Billy.

He let out a frustrated groan,

"Harrington, you are really starting to piss me off." He snarled, grabbing my arm, "God, you're acting just like your brother." He snapped, "No wonder nobody bothers to get to know both of you, you're the same person."

I couldn't remain neutral any longer, I yanked my arm from his grasp and gave him a shove backward before turning on my heels and strutting back the way I came.

"Where the hell are you going?" He hollered.

I resisted the urge to turn around and scream back in his face as well as the urge to reach up to wipe the tears that had started to fall onto my cheek. I couldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that he hurt me. My attempt at escape was thwarted when he ran up behind me, grabbing my wrist and spinning me around to face him,

"Let go of me, Billy." I hissed, straining against his grasp.

He gripped onto me with white knuckles,

"Not until you tell me where the hell you're going."

"Away from you." I spat.

"I'm not letting you leave here by yourself."

"You don't own me, you don't get to decide what I can and can't do."

"You're out here with me, I'm responsible for you."

"I'm responsible for myself, always have been. Find your own way home, asshole." I tore myself from his grasp, turning my back on him and making my way back to the car we rented, climbing in.

******

I drove around for at least two hours before heading back to the hotel. I knew that eventually the asshole known as Billy Hargrove would make an appearance, taking place of the boy I had been around for the past few days.

I figured it was from him being vulnerable with me and opening up to me about his father and mother. But the loss of his best friend and the fear of his father gave him no right to treat me or any other person that tries to get close with him the way he treats them.

I grew up almost raising myself, in a semI neglectful home with a vain mother, an absent father, a star athlete and a favorite brother. And that made me angry. That my own flesh and blood never took the time to come to my piano recitals, or come cheer me on for any academic achievement.

Hell, I doubt anyone in my family even knew that I was graduating a year early. I was counting down the days to graduation. I would be my own person, I would travel to places and do things that my brother would be too scared or stupid to do.

I opened the door to our hotel room to find Billy slumped on the couch asleep. I went over to him, taking his boots off and covering him up with a blanket.

"You're back." He grumbled, half asleep.

"Mmhm. Go back to sleep." I whispered, setting a glass of water on the table next to him then walking to the room, shutting the door.

******

I woke up the next morning to Billy shaking my arm. "Hey...Um I'm sorry about last night."

"I only accept apologies from assholes when there are pancakes involved." I grumbled, pulling the covers over my head.

"Sam..." Billy whined. I felt the bed shift as he sat next to me, resting his hand in the curve of my waist,

"Go away." I objected, kicking at his butt and wiggling out from under his touch.

A small chuckle left Billy's lips as he moved the covers from my head, "I really can't take you seriously when you're mad." He laughed.

I glared at him,

"You're a jerk. Get me pancakes and then we'll talk."

"Get up and get dressed. I'll take you to the best pancake place in town."

I wandered out of my room, passing Billy who was sitting on the counter with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

"Are you really not going to talk to me until I feed you?" Billy asked as he followed me into the elevator. I glared over at him angrily, not breaking our eye contact, pressing the button that would take us to the lobby.

"Sammie..."

I crossed my arms, examining the tiles of the elevator floor.

"I know.. I'm an ass okay? I'm sorry for what I said, you're nothing like Steve and it's a goddamn shame that nobody in that shit stain of a town doesn't see you as Samantha. You're crazy and quote Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein as a means to fight. You always know what to say and the right time to say it. I didn't mean anything I said last night."

My head still faced the opposite from where Billy was standing. I uncrossed my arms, reaching down grabbing Billy's hand.

"You're still an asshole" I asserted,

I could feel him relax underneath my touch. I glanced over at him, he was staring at me, cigarette still hanging from his mouth.

"Bad habit." I jeered, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and replacing it with a lollipop I found on the floor of the elevator.

Billy took the lollipop out of his mouth, dropping it to the floor gagging. "Gross!" "Still better than the cancer stick." I retorted, crossing my arms again and staring him down.

"You're an asshole." I repeated, skipping out of the elevator and outside to our car.

"These are some of the best pancakes you will ever have." Billy hummed as he started the car, heading in the direction of the diner he was taking us to.

He was right. They were some of the best pancakes I had ever had.

"So are you going to talk to me now?" Billy questioned, reaching for my hand and interlocking our fingers.

"I told you I would once you fed me." I quipped, pushing my plate away with my free hand.

"I'm truly sorry about last night Sam. I shouldn't have forced you to go to the party and expect you to want to stick around. And I'm really, really sorry for comparing you to Steve. You're not like him at all."

I squeezed his hand, peering up at him.

"You're an asshole. But, I forgive you."

******

Billy and I sat in comfortable silence on the car ride home from the airport. I couldn't help but have this feeling that once we got home and went our separate ways that Billy would go back to his friends and I'd go back to my flowers. Despite him profusely apologizing over our fight on the beach, I feared that he would go back to being his asshole self and only talk to me when he needed notes- maybe even to get under Steve's skin by being around me.

I pushed my feet up in the dash as Billy silently hummed to himself, tapping on the steering wheel.

"What's going to happen on Monday?" I questioned, peering over at him, "The past few days have been...amazing to say the least but once school starts back, are we going back to Billy Hargrove the king of Hawkins and The Other Harrington."

I started to nervously fidget with the ring Billy had given me, twisting it around my finger.

Billy reached over, grabbing my hand and squeezing it "When school starts back on Monday, I'll be Billy and you will be Samantha. I know im an ass, but I won't pretend this trip didn't happen, that I don't love you."

I turned my head at him in surprise over the fact that he just admitted that he loved me.

"Sammie, you make me less pissed. Not... not pissed, but I feel like I use to before I lost my mom."

"I saved that flower crown you gave me. It's in a box under my bed next to a flower crown she made for me on my fifteenth birthday."

Billy brought the back side of my hand to his mouth, placing a kiss on it.

"You promise?" I asked hesitantly. He sighed, pulling over on the side of the road.

"Sam, I'm not sure if you heard me the first time, but I'm in love with you. You somehow talked me into getting a haircut,-"

"You lost a bet and those were the stipulations." I corrected, earning an eye roll from him.

"I cut my hair for you, and I opened up to you about my father. And told you about the only other person that I knew that was as kind and loving as you are. It was a no brainer that I would fall in love with you. I just didn't expect it to happen as fast as it did."

I leaned over, kissing his cheek,

"You are an asshole with I really nice hair cut. I love you too, Billy Hargrove." I reached over, turning the volume up as the guitar riff to Highway to Hell blasted through the cars speakers. I started dancing along to the beat beckoning Billy to get out of Priscilla and join me on the side of the road.

Billy laughed, getting out grabbing me by my waist as we started dancing together. We danced and twirled around to the music, singing along to the words together.

Billy placed his hand on the small of my back, pulling me closer to him as his other hand snaked behind my neck, bringing my lips to his.

"So, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to go get dinner later? But not like friend dinner...uh like a date? And you be my girlfriend." He babbled.

I chuckled, kissing his nose,

"You're cute when you're nervous. Hasn't this week been one long date?" I questioned, intertwining my fingers with his.

Billy leaned in, his head resting it on mine. "I don't want to go home." He confessed, opening his eyes looking down at me.

"We have to go back to reality. And when graduation comes around, we'll pick back up where we left off, travel the world together forget about Indiana."

I twirled around Billy's fingers before wrapping my arms around his neck.

"So now I'm included in this adventure?"

"You are my husband, you kinda have to go with me." I retorted, resting my head on his shoulder as the song slowly came to an end.

Billy wrapped his arms tighter around me, placing a kiss on top of my head.

"Back to reality."

I pulled up in front of the Hargrove household, glancing over at Billy who was almost as pale as a ghost. "I'm going in there with you."

"No you're not. Sammie you are safe out here."

"But you aren't safe in there." I retorted, getting out of my car.

"He won't do anything to you in front of a stranger." I added, reaching down for his hand. We walked into his house to find what looked to be his father and brother sitting on the couch watching whatever game was playing on the television.

Both men drew their attention to the door. Billy's father glared at both of us his arms crossing over one another.

"Where the hell have you been?" He snarled, standing up from his recliner.

"Uh...um," Billy sputtered.

I squeezed his hand trying to give him reassurance as Neil turned his focus from his son to me.

"You were off doing God knows what with this whore weren't you?!" Neil boomed, not breaking eye contact with me.

"Um.. uh."

"That's not an answer, Billy."

I groaned,

"Yes, Mr. Hargrove he was with me. We went to my parents country club and then flew to California for a few days. It was a lot of fun. I found a lot of pretty shells. I see where Billy gets being an asshole from." I exclaimed as Billy's hand tightened against mine.

"I want you out of my house!" Neil howled, taking a step toward Billy and I. Billy instinctively took a step in front of me.

"You want me out? Fine."

Billy pushed past Neil, heading the direction of his bedroom, me following behind. He grabbed the remainder of his clothes from his closet, stuffing it in trash bags. I reached under his bed, grabbing a shoebox with his mother's name scribbled across it

"Can't forget your flower crowns." I whispered, sitting the box on the bed, helping Billy grab all of his belongings.

"You have nowhere to go." Neil laughed, standing in the doorway and crossing his arms.

"My house is big. He can live with me." I retorted, stepping in front of Neil, blocking his view of Billy the best I could.

"And your parents are going to be okay with that?" Neil challenged.

"I don't think it's any of your business how my parents react to Billy coming to stay with me."

Billy walked over to me with the trashbags full of his belongings.

"He isn't your concern anymore. You can fuck off." I spat, reaching back for Billy's wrist and bumping my shoulder into Neill as we walked in the the hallway.

"You'll be back after this slut gets tired of you." Neil yelled following after us. I stopped turning to face him.

"I can assure you, that I won't get tired of him. We got married when we were in Cali." I chortled, flashing my left hand up at him.

"Like I said, Billy isn't your concern anymore." I lifted my middle finger up at Neil as Billy pulled me out of the house and out to the car.

******

"Steve isn't going to be happy," I mumbled, pulling into my driveway.

Billy let out a small laugh, leaning over kissing my cheek. I faced him with a stern expression,

"Please be nice. I'll handle all the talking." I stressed, squeezing his hand. I placed a quick kiss on his lips before stepping out of Priscilla

"Where the fuck have you been, Samantha?" Steve gripped, walking out of our house and crossing his arms.

Billy slowly got out of Priscilla, walking around to stand behind me.

"Let me rephrase that, where the fuck have you been with Billy Hargrove." Steve seethed.

"California." I stated as a matter of factly.

"California!?" Steve blurted, his jaw dropping, "What did you do to her, Hargrove, kidnap her?!"

"He's my friend...boy," I said as Billy intertwined our fingers, "Err my boyfriend."

"Since when?"

"Since this morning."

"Sam, you don't socialize you go to school and come home."

I rolled my eyes, opening my mouth to say something only to be cut off by Steve,

"How do you two even know each other? God Samantha, leave it up to you to become friends with the biggest asshole in school. Do you even remember what happened to me in October?"

Billy stood between us placing a hand on Steve's chest. Steve quickly stepped away from Billy's touch, "Man, I know we have our issues. And I'm sorry for everything I've done to you." He began.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow and shifting his weight onto his heels, "But I actually give a shit about Sammie. And nobody appreciates her damn near as much as she deserves." Billy mused, glancing down at me.

"Stop acting like you care, Steve." I grumbled under my breath.

"You're my baby sister, of course I care."

"Really? Do you even care enough to know that most of your friends don't even know my name?" I fired back.

"What're you talking about?"

"In fact, most people don't even know my name. Not just your friends. And you know who did? Billy. You know who came and talked to me without prefacing it with 'can you tell Steve'? Billy." I defended, "He actually talks to me like I'm a real person and not just a means to get to you."

"Are you sure that isn't what this is? A means to get to me?"

"Is it really that hard for you to believe that somebody cares about me?"

"I find it hard to believe that Billy Hargrove cares about you."

Billy dropped my hand from his grasp, balling up his fist. I stepped ahead of him, blocking his path if he decided to make a move.

"Somebody has to! Mom and dad sure don't. And you're too busy running off with a bunch of middle schoolers who you call your siblings to pay attention to your actual younger sister!"

"Sam, this isn't about mom or dad or me or them!"

"Bullshit it isn't!" I snapped, "My entire fucking life I've been walking around in your shadow and I'm goddamn sick of it!"

"How many times have I told you that people don't know my name? How many times have I said that kids I've known my whole life, gone through kindergarten with, don't know my name? All I am is Little Harrington or The Other Harrington. I'm not Samantha. I'm not my own fucking person. And that's on you, Steve!"

"How is it on me that you don't do anything to get attention?"

I could faintly hear a rumble in Billy's chest,

"Because you've never taken me seriously! Never stood up for me when I needed you to. Steve, I needed you to be my big brother and protect me and you didn't!"

Steve opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but I cut him off,

"Go take care of the rest of your 'little siblings' hope you don't let them down like you did to me." I snarled.

Billy went back over to Priscilla, grabbing my bag from the car and following behind me.

"I don't think so. You are not going into my house." Steve said, grabbing his arm.

"Fuck you, Steve." I spat as Billy yanked his arm from my brother's grasp.

They squared up with each other, chest to chest. Neither of them particularly wanted to get into a fight, especially not in front of me. I intertwined my fingers with Billy's and took him inside with me.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Dustin asked as the other kids stood up in defense.

"Ask your older brother, he seems to be pretty open with you guys." I sneered, pulling Billy up to my room.

I shut the door behind us, leaning back on it and letting myself cry.

"Hey, hey, hey, baby, no." Billy comforted, pressing his forehead to mine. "No crying." He cupped my face in his hands, making me look at him

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

I smiled softly at him as he kissed me,

"Normal people don't quote Dr. Seuss." I sassed, wiping my face with the back side of my hand.

"Well, as it turns out, I'm not as normal as you think."

******

Monday I could feel every single eye on me. The worst part of living in a small town was word got around fast.

"Christy, is it true you and Billy Hargrove robbed a bank over spring break?"

I rolled my eyes as I shut my locker door,

"No, it's not true." I grunted, walking past Carol and into Chemistry. A smile spread across Billy's face as I walked down the row of desks and took my usual seat at the one in front of him. He leaned forward in his desk, pressing a kiss to my cheek,

"I missed you," He whispered, placing another kiss on my shoulder.

"Two whole periods without me, how did you live!?" I exclaimed,

"It's not like you didn't just move in with me." I joked, leaning my head back so it was laying on his desk.

Billy chuckled, leaning forward connecting our lips together, earning various grunts and sighs from some of the girls in our class room.

By lunch people were well aware of Billy's status. People know knew who I was and who I was dating. But they still intentionally called me some random name.

Most of them probably figured that it got under my skin, so why would they stop?

"Sammie, are you okay?" Billy asked as we walked into the lunchroom together.

"Yeah, I'm just not used to being this...well known. And people are now purposely calling me different names." I sighed as I grabbed a juice and a banana in the lunch line.

"Mr. Hargrove, your new haircut looks wonderful!" Edna, the lunch lady chirped.

"Doesn't it?" I questioned, running my hand in his hair.

Billy rolled his eyes, swatting my hand away before paying for both of our lunches.

"Oh! Miss Hayley! Will you please tell Steve he still owes us money from before spring break."

I grinned at her, knowing that she didn't mean any harm by calling me the wrong name, unlike the rest of the school.

"Sure thing, Edna."

I followed behind Billy as we both sat at the lunch table with Tommy H. and Carol.

"Nicole are you lost?" Tommy H grimaced as I sat next to Billy. "No, I'm not." I mumbled. "Then why are you sitting here? Last I checked you weren't popular." Carol snorted.

The walked on Billy's face made me think he was about to kill everyone around him.

"Knock it off both of you. Samantha is my girlfriend." Billy chided.

"Ew, why would you want to date Kayla?" Tommy sneered, giving me a disgusted look "You know she's Steve's sister, right?"

In a flash Billy flew across the table, throwing his fist into Tommy's face. He then climbed on the table, placing his pinkies in his mouth and whistling.

"Just so we are all on the same page, This girl has a name, and It's Samantha. She's my girlfriend...Samantha Harrington is my girlfriend. If I hear anyone call her The Other Harrington or anything that is not Sam, or Samantha, one more time, you will really be wishing you didn't." He threatened, "Now what is my girlfriends name?"

In unison, the entire lunchroom sang out my name. I could feel my cheeks grow warm. I knew for a fact I was as red as a tomato.

"And if any of you mess with her? You'll deal with me," He yelled as one of the coaches marched over, pulling Billy off the table and escorting him out of the cafeteria.

I cleared my throat, poking at my plate as Tommy climbed back back up to the table, holding his bleeding nose.

"The chicken is really good today isn't it?"

******

The week was long and uneventful, and by Friday not only did everyone- including teachers knew my name, they also came up to me apologizing- something I'm sure was Billy's doing.

I didn't hate this new found fame but I didn't love it either. Billy made an ass out of himself at lunch, landing him a weeks worth of detention. So every day I would go sit in the field, making 2 floral crowns while I waited for Billy to get out of his detainment.

"How was detention?" I asked as Billy plopped down on the blanket next to me ,taking my floral crown from my head and placing it on his own.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." Billy sang, kissing my cheek.

"Quoting Dr. Seuss again are we?" I sassed.

"I love you," He uttered as a dragonfly flew by landing on my nose.

I chuckled, shaking my head startling the bug away.

"Looks like your mom loves me too."

Billy smirked, pressing his lips onto mine before stretching out onto the blanket, placing his head on my lap, staring up at me with the utmost adoration.

It didn't matter anymore to me that people got my name wrong, or how I would become a distant memory after graduation,

The soft boy with a hard exterior had the free spirited girl with a love for wildflowers.

We had each other, we made each other shine.

And that's all that matters.

[cyberth0t]

health-gothh’s simself - by @sueladysims

tagged by @eslanes​  -- i updated my sim self because he was just not holding the pepper.

RULES

Simself: Use your simself and portray yourself. If you don’t have one yet, create one. You can add a real picture if you want but you don’t have to.

Self-Description: Describe yourself in one sentence, quite challenging if I may say so…LOL

Fashion Must-Have: Tell us - What is your fashion-must have?

Quote: Add a favorite quote of yours - which represents yourself on how you view life or whatever matters to you ;)

“My Vibe” Add a link or a music clip with your top fave music style

____

hot-headed - loves the outdoors - loner aspiration: best-selling author

about sam // I’m a writer from Chicago, and I like calling Ernest Hemingway “daddy” in front of literature bros to watch them squirm.

fashion must-have // a furious hatred of capitalism, dirty vans, and a black turtleneck

quote // It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. --Capt Jean-Luc Picard

fav music genre //

fucking motown, or soul, or r&b baybeeeeeee. specifically, this man right here:

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x10 Ballad

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x10 Ballad “Ok, who can tell me what a ballad is?” “It’s a male duck”

ok, I disagree with Schue’s definition of a ballad. “Stories set to music” – um…isn’t that every song? Or is it just in musicals that it’s supposed to be, lol?

“Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio showchoir committee FINALLY paid off” and the look she gives Puck. Haha. This Rachel Berry is funny. Cause they’re letting us laugh at her right along with her. Not asking us to put her on a pedestal and/or take her seriously all the damn time. I’m not even gonna get started. I’m watching this post Props/Nationals, and though I didn’t think it could, my hate has grown. In abundance. Trying to keep it in check. Moving on…

“I bet that duck’s in the hat”

“Matt’s out sick today. He had to go to the hospital cause they found a spider in his ear” Um, ew. Also terrifying. However, humorous nonetheless. And an effort to explain a random absence of a Glee club member. Remember how they used to do that?

Aw, Artie drew Quinn’s name out of the hat. :) 2 seasons later and they’ll get 2 duets (both of which I loooove). Shame they didn’t do it this ep. Romantic or just friends, I ADORE the chemistry with Diana and Kevin. I really wanted to see more of that. :(

omg. Kurt’s face when Finn pulls his name. Adorable. Also, I love that Finn is not cool with it but a year later Sam is totes fine. Maybe that’s just cause I love dudes that are comfortable enough in their sexuality to do things that d-bags in high school might tease them about being gay for. Or maybe that’s just cause I love Sam Evans. Couldn’t tell ya. Except yeah, I totes could. It’s cause I wants a Trouty Mouth to call my very own. *lesigh*

“other asian” Ha!

Brittana!

“The fates talked, Mr. Schue” #BlessFinnsHeart

I love the voice-overs during Endless Love: “Screw him if he thinks he’s taking the Diana Ross part from me” “I love the days when I wear no underwear” “I never noticed how nice Rachel’s butt is…oh crap! I think Quinn knows I’m staring at it!”

I also love the facial expressions of Rachel and Mr. Schue here. Hilarious.

Haha – Brad’s like “wtf is happening?”

“Crap – she looks crazy right now!” hahahahahaha

Because of Rachel’s realization through this song, it means Lea Michele can’t squint nearly as much. Wow. It’s like a whole new Rachel with her eyes open while she’s singing.

Artie’s face after the duet. It’s like someone stepped in dog poop.

Ok, Charlotte Ross was in a show in the 90’s I used to watch that, if I recall, failed miserably but nonetheless had a brief stint as my guilty pleasure show. And I can’t remember what it is for the life of me and keep forgetting to look when I have access to google it. Anyone?

“I don’t want you to lift a finger for me. I’m your wife!” Oh wow. So unhealthy. So republican. Soooooo some parts of Ohio. These are the folks that voted for Bush. :/ Yep, I’m still ashamed to be from Ohio when I think of that election.

Suzy. Pepper. Yes. I love this actress. Bright and Hannah were my OTP on Everwood. I miss them.

“You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath. That’s so romantic.”

“Listen, you little psycho, this is Will’s wife, and if I don’t get enough sleep my anti-depressants won’t work, and then I’ll go crazy and I’ll kill you.” Oh Terri. So maternal and loving.

Suzy Pepper is sobbing to More Than Words. That was my jam back in the day!

“Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling…and….inappropriate.”

“Thank God I never missed a piano lesson” – really Kurt? Is this the first and only time we’re to believe Kurt can play piano well enough to accompany someone from memory?

Finn singing I’ll Stand By You to a sonogram dvd on his laptop. I have no words. I don’t think I thought it was this weird the first time I watched it.

So Finn’s mom busts him singing to said laptop sonogram dvd…and he doesn’t close the laptop…or stop the dvd…or try to hide the screen. He sits up next to it as she approaches him, almost begging her to see it. I felt the same way then as I do now – it was an opportunity for him to not tell her necessarily but for her to find out anyways and I think he really wanted her to know so he could go to her for help and comfort and to relieve everything he couldn’t deal with about the situation. I’m just sayin’.

Oh old school Carol with her denim and that hair…she’s still such a great mom though. And this actress. My God. She’s amazing.

“You’re wrong, I’m right. I’m smart, you’re dumb.”

“Dude. Impulse control!” haha

“I dunno why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he’s cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of 4 is rainbows.” #BlessFinnsHeart

Oh Young Girl/Don’t Stand So Close to Me mash-up. I fell in lust with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.

Seriously. Matthew Morrison is so hot in this mash-up. Yowzah.

“So, Rachel, do you think you understood the message I was trying to get across with that ballad?” “Yes! It means I’m very young and it’s hard for you to stand close to me.”

“You’re a very good performer. He’s very good.”

Finn and Kurt bonding over their lost parents. This is a sweet scene.

“You think I should bring a gun?” #BlessFinnsHeart

“Casserole’s almost ready. Hope you like venison!” Ok. TERRIFYING to come home and find Rachel Berry in an apron, cooking you dinner, in your home.

Hey, remember that time that Rachel literally sang 3 lines of Crush and they released it in its entirety as a single from this episode? Ridonk.

“I found out today that my hamster was pregnant in biology class and I just started weeping!”

Aw, Mercedes and Puck are paired up for duet ballads.

haha. Babygate.

“Finn’s not the father! I am.” People be spilling out their truths to Mercedes y’all.

“Alright, look, you need to get something through your Mohawk real quick: you’re the baby’s daddy. It takes a hell of a lot more to be a father and that role’s already been cast because Quinn chose Finn. You need to accept that and move on cause you have no business messin’ up that girl’s life more than you already have. You need to back off. You owe her at least that much. ”Aw, Mercedes. Laying down tough love. And looking out for Quinn before they were even friends. Man. I love Mercedes.

Oh that’s right – Quinn has an older sister! Why did we never meet her?

“He wears a helmet when he plays, right?” – THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN’! #BlessFinnsHeart

“I have to go, they’ll think I’m pooping.” Hehehehe.

omg. So I love this still. Finn is doing karate moves in the bathroom mirror to pump himself up to sing to the Fabrays that Quinn’s pregnant. That is so effing funny. What happened to this Finn?

You’re Having My Baby. Haha. This song is so cheesy. This scene is so uncomfortable.

So Quinn’s parents, unlike Finn, are NOT simple-minded and have figured it out. And it’s terrifying.

“We didn’t even have sex” #BlessFinnsHeart

Quinn’s parents are kicking her out. Well, her dad is and her mom isn’t standing up to him. This is rough. Especially when you realize they’re supposed to be 15. So wrong. Poor Quinn. And her dad just screamed at her that she was a disappointment. Yeah…she’s had to deal with some shit. And in the end, they don’t acknowledge that she did and try to make her out to be the bad guy, and selfish… Way to go, RIB.

Oh good ole Carol, without a moment of hesitationlets Quinn stay with them.

“Honey, you can stay here as long as you want.” Carol’s the best. So glad she found Burt.

“We’re not so different, you and me. We’re both mildly attractive and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Mr. Schue is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings which only reinforces the conviction that we’re not worthy of being loved. Trust me. I’m a cautionary tale. You need to find some self-respect, Rachel. Get that mildly attractive groove back.” Suzy Pepper, ladies and gentlemen. Dropping truth bombs.

“There’s some boy out there who’s gonna like you for everything you are, including those parts of you that even you don’t like. Those are gonna be the things about you that he likes the most.” Hmm…might be true. Never thought about this, but I’d say that describes Jesse. But not Finn so much. Maybe recently. But…he has made several comments about her being annoying or controlling as they were dating. And not in a ‘those are my favorite things about her’ kinda way. Just sayin’.

Aw. Kurt seems like he feels really bad about Quinn getting kicked out.

“Open your eyes! I didn’t tell you to close your eyes.” “Is there a cake?” No, there’s no cake!” #BlessFinnsHeart

Lean On Me. Watching this now, with one ep left and it’s graduation…yeah, I’m crying. Dammit, Glee.

haha, Mercedes just kinda pushed past Rachel who was front and center to sing her solo. Probably not intentional but still funny.

Damn, Kevin McHale.

Damn, Amber Riley.

SOLOS: Rachel (1), Will (2), Finn (2), Artie (1), Mercedes (1)