#can you tell im still a little obsessed with challengers

[purinfelix]

ᯓ★

When you were called up for the position of new assistant coach of the English team, you knew how people, fans and media, viewed you - a young hot burgeoning talent who the managers had brought in as their saving grace. And you were eager to prove them all right.

You were also painfully aware of the situation you were putting yourself in by accepting the offer, an attractive youngster like yourself surrounded by a bunch of equally attractive young men could prove testy. Despite, or rather because, of this you were prepared to make your first impression stick - as a strict, no-bullshit coach who wasn't here to mess around but rather to win, and to do it fast.

And of course, the first two men who walk into the locker room on your first session have to be Jude and Trent, who you recognise from the sound of their bickering even before you see them. The minute you lock eyes with the two of them though, and spot the eager smirks they exchange, you can already feel your plans crumbling.

You had been expecting competitiveness between all the men on the team, in a sport like this it was only natural. What you hadn't expected though, was to be able to use it to such an advantage. Trent and Jude's desires to show off in front of you seemed never-ending. It might've seemed self-obsessed to assume they were doing this for your sake, and you wouldn't have if it weren't for the fact that their eyes were constantly on yours throughout it all.

"Did you see that coach?" Trent called out to you after nutmegging Jude, the look on his face prouder than you had ever seen. You nod, a smile pulling at your lips.

And soon enough, you found yourself playing along with it, giving whichever of the pair you saw doing better the sweetest smile you could muster. Was it unprofessional? Yes, you were constantly mindful of that, painfully so. But regardless of how unconventional your methods were, no one could argue that they worked a charm.

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

im OBSESSED with demon slayer + ur work!!

could you pls do the hashira reaction to their s/o giving them lots of affection so they let their guard down, and then they suddenly start a pillow fight and tickle them?

This was funny in my head 😭

(HEY ANON! YOU’RE OBSESSED WITH MY WORK?? THAT’S CRAZY, THANK YOU SO MUCH. The kind words really mean a lot. Anyways I hope you enjoy this and have a wonderful day.)

Hashira with an Affectionate S/O

(Characters Included- All the Hashira)

(Warning: Fluff, fluff, fluff)

🦋Shinobu Kocho🦋

- Likes the affection you give her. Especially if you give her a massage after a long stressful day. She loves to reciprocate it back by tracing your scars or marks, giving you a quick peck on the lips, and etc.

- Unfortunately for you, if you decide to start any pillow fights, you’ll lose. Shinobu is very fast and can dodge your “attacks” easily. Having these silly little fights relieves her from the stresses of the world. She’s grateful that she can have these moments with you.

🐍Iguro Obanai🐍

- Not big on PDA cause he gets embarrassed but doesn’t mind small things like holding hands and the sort.

- Obanai was just enjoying the silence with you wrapped in his haori and saw you grab the pillow. He thought you were just adjusting it until it headed towards his face. He blocked it with his arm and before he could even say a word you tickled him. He flinched because he’s a little ticklish but managed to stop you. He was like “How dare you” afterwards, but secretly he didn’t mind this silly side of yours.

🍡Mitsuri Kanroji🍡

- Always accepts the affection openly. She’s big on PDA, everyone can instantly tell that you two are dating. Squeezes you in the biggest hug before letting you go to get oxygen.

- One day when you two were cuddling, you felt the need to choose (playful) violence. So you swiftly grabbed the nearest pillow and hit your girlfriend with it. When she felt a pillow hit her face it stunned her a bit but she quickly snapped out of it and fought back. Both you and her were laughing nonstop.

🔥Kyojuro Rengoku🔥

- He thinks your affectionate side is admirable. Always reciprocates it when he can. Some of his favorite things that you do is when you surprise him with a hug and lean on him whenever you’re tired or sleeping.

- When you started the pillow fight he chuckled at it and asked if you’re challenging him. As soon as you said yeah he’ll be like “Alright then, prepare yourself.” And the both of you will just have a good time being silly together.

🔊Tengen Uzui🔊

- He always smiles or chuckles at the affection. Definitely would crack your back if he hugged you back really hard. Though when you’re hugging him, he mainly puts one hand on your back while the other is patting your head.

- You won’t be able to surprise him, he’ll hear the pillow coming from a mile away and grab it. Once he has it he’ll throw it at you while saying something cocky like “You thought that you could sneak in an attack against ME?”

☁️Muichiro Tokito☁️

- He is confused at first on why you were so affectionate but he doesn’t mind it. Might be a little tense though.

- You’ll definitely catch him off guard if you hit him when he’s zoned out. He’ll instantly snap out of it and start dodging the pillows. If you tried to tickle him he’d grab your hand and tickle your stomach as revenge. He would be laughing while you’re trying to get free.

🌪️Sanemi Shinazugawa🌪️

- Secretly enjoys your affection but he mainly reciprocates it in private when it’s just you and him instead of in public.

- When the both of you were laying down together, you suddenly ticked him and he quickly moved away. He wouldn’t even face you because of the embarrassment because he didn’t want you to find out that he was a bit ticklish. (He will still deny it even after the incident)

🌊Giyuu Tomioka🌊

- He gets used to your affection after a few weeks of dating you. Tries to reciprocate but it’ll take him time. Though he does get better over time.

- He was all relaxed until you suddenly hit him in the face with a pillow. He would be confused about the sudden pillow fight. He’ll just sit there and blink at you while he’s still getting hit. Then he’ll question if he did something wrong so you’ll have to reassure him.

🪨Gyomei Himejima🪨

- Gyomei enjoys your affection and tries his best to reciprocate it. Though he’ll be a lot more gentle than you, for example if you hug him really tightly he’ll hug back gently because he doesn’t want to hurt you.

- He’s not ticklish so if you tried to tickle him it wouldn’t have an effect on him. Though he will be smiling at you cause he thinks you’re adorable.

Masterlist

[world0fmadness]

BOTH? BOTH!

oscar piastri x silent hill / horror game obsessed! reader x lando norris

faceclaim: assorted

୨୧ some people asked for a part two of this smau due the ending really hinting at a throuple so here it is! it can be read separately or as a continuation as they’re an established throuple here <3 and i know the silent hill 2 remake was announced ages ago but it’s fanfic, let me pretend

reading music recommendations: float up from a dream by akira yamaoka - you’re not here by akira yamaoka

oscarpiastri: this is what happens when i take both of them shopping at the same time…

ynlovesthehorror: we’re peaceful beings :)

> oscarpiastri ✔️: you threw a cucumber at my head…

> landonorris ✔️: can’t handle a little fun osc?

> oscarpiastri ✔️: and you’re no better, you shoved me into the boot of the car!

oscarpastrylover: are… are they all dating now? i feel like this is a little too couple-y…

> landoscaryn: there is no fucking way they’re not all dating… i’ll swear on my hamsters life they HAVE to be dating

> iluvf1: leave the hamster OUT OF THIS LMAO 😭

oldf1lvr: lando and yn be serious for five minutes challenge ( IMPOSSIBLE )

danielricciardo ✔️: cute!

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror, landonorris and oscarpiastri

> landoscaryn: mr man, what do you know? do tell…

landonorris: not too shabby if i do say so myself…

danielricciardo ✔️: happy for you three ❤️

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror, oscarpiastri and landonorris

loveuyn: he really said “you guys still aren’t sure if we’re dating? just have this and leave”

ynlovesthehorror: i kind of look good in these pictures 🤔

> landonorris ✔️: nah, you look like a tramp to be honest

> ynlovesthehorror: die ❤️

landoscaryn: I FUCKING TOLD YOU PEOPLE

> iluvf1: thank god, for your hamsters sake 😭

oscarpiastri ✔️: love you both so much ❤️

> landonorris ✔️: love you more ❤️

> ynlovesthehorror: lol, gay ( i love both of you more, now come home so we can make out )

❤️ liked by oscarpiastri and landonorris

oscyn: praying these three never have a kid because you just know yn would FIGHT to name it after a silent hill character…

> landonorris ✔️: fucking hell, don’t give her any ideas…

> ynlovesthehorror: 👩‍🍼 < me and the god i birthed ( we will now build an eternal paradise )

> loveuyn: i don’t think yn realises how niche her references are when it comes to f1 fans 😭

> oscarpastrylover: literally, i think most of them just think she’s clinically insane or something so they leave her be

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

landoscaryn: not gonna shut up about this for MONTHS, my throuple ship is REAL

ynlovesthehorror: just spent hours explaining some of the silent hill lore to lando and every explanation lead to another question from him, i want him DEAD ( also a very good representation of what i want to do to people that say “ it’s ash not snow ” if you ever come into my comment section with that “ lore ” i’ll get lando and oscar to put a brick through your window )

landonorris ✔️: IM TRYING

> ynlovesthehorror: the information is going in one ear and right out the other, honestly, you just need to play them yourself now because i’m DONE

> landonorris ✔️: i’ll play them on stream then, muppet

> ynlovesthehorror: GOOD

> oscarpiastri ✔️: stop arguing you two

> ynlovesthehorror: sorry babe

> landonorris ✔️: sorry love

> oscarpiastri ✔️: ❤️

> landoscaryn: all three of them have each other wrapped all the way around each others finger lmao 😭

maxverstappen ✔️: it’s ash not snow

> ynlovesthehorror: gonna get lando to crash into you

> maxverstappen ✔️: if he can catch up

> ynlovesthehorror: omg??? maxi pad you are a horrible man 💔

> landonorris ✔️: come kiss me to make me feel better 😔

> ynlovesthehorror: on it <3

> oscarpiastri ✔️: me too please

> ynlovesthehorror: nothing happened to you???

> oscarpiastri ✔️: lando whacked me over the head with a lead pipe

> landonorris ✔️: what is it with you two and making up the most unbelievable lies about me 😭

ynlovesthehorror: look at my husband you guys 😩 i cannot believe it, the transmission was actually something fucking good, after years of drought

oscarpiastri ✔️: the most inhuman noise came out of you…

> ynlovesthehorror: I WAS EXCITED

> landonorris ✔️: still, that noise was mental… and i thought we were your husbands?

> ynlovesthehorror: you are! but james was my 1st husband <3

> landonorris ✔️: and was this before or after he killed his wife?

> ynlovesthehorror: ☹️

loveuyn: i feel bad for everyone on the grid and in the paddock because she will not shut the fuck up about this until it releases and when it does release it’ll be even worse 😭

> landoscaryn: right? i’m keeping the engineers in my prayers lmao

danielricciardo ✔️: excited for you yn! i know how much the game means to you ❤️

> ynlovesthehorror: thank you daniel, finally someone that likes me for ME

> landonorris ✔️: ?

> oscarpiastri ✔️: ?

ynlovesthehorror: we finally did it! me and oscar dressed up as james and maria, here are the pictures <3 and a sneak peak of me and lando dressed as james and mary hehe

oscarpastrylover: they need to stop being so hot IMMEDIATELY

landonorris ✔️: you looked amazing love, oscar too i guess… ours is better though 😗

> oscarpiastri ✔️: oi!

> ynlovesthehorror: we all looked amazing :) but especially you two

❤️ liked by landonorris and oscarpiastri

> landoscaryn: the way they’re always either bullying and mocking each other or being so sweet and loving on each other kills me, it’s literally just three best friends that kiss

> landonorris ✔️: we do more than kiss, my friend

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

> landoscaryn: oh-

> oscarpiastri ✔️: for fuck sake lando!

oscyn: okay… yeah… i’m so normal about this! SO NORMAL

iluvf1: i have no idea who these characters are but this is the hottest thing i’ve ever seen an f1 driver do i think…

> oldf1lvr: literally 😩 hot in so many ways, hot because lando and oscar LOOK hot and hot because they actually do this stuff with yn instead of not participating in her interests! we love men who do things with their gf

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

loveuyn: that 4th picture… hideo kojima approves

> ynlovesthehorror: what could’ve been 💔 biggest heartbreak of my life

> landonorris ✔️: me and oscar could die in a fire and that still wouldn’t beat the heartbreak that P.T. caused you…

> ynlovesthehorror: well at least you know!

> oscarpiastri ✔️: 😔

landonorris: was on a walk with my boyfriend when we came across this strange creature on the side of the road 😟 took it to get some food and we’re not too fond of it, anyone else want it? selling for 10 quid

ynlovesthehorror: honestly hope you get hit by a bus or something

> landonorris ✔️: no you don’t ❤️

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

danielricciardo ✔️: fucking hell, that second picture is amazing

❤️ liked by landonorris and oscarpiastri

> ynlovesthehorror: :(

> danielricciardo ✔️: sorry yn!

oscarpiastri ✔️: i think it’s sort of cute, in its own weird way ❤️ definitely worth more than £10

> ynlovesthehorror: 🥹

> landonorris ✔️: £11?

> oscarpiastri ✔️: yeah i reckon that’s enough

> ynlovesthehorror: ☹️

landoscaryn: seeing and hearing lando refer to oscar as his boyfriend literally makes my heart explode 💔 i love these three so much

> oscarpastrylover: yep, this relationship is literally a bisexual f1 fan’s dream, just three hot best friends in a relationship

ynlovesthehorror: my boys <3 ( i love thinking about things they’d go to silent hill for )

landonorris ✔️: you ALMOST made a sweet post but then you just had to go and bring up that game, BE NORMAL ( don’t be normal, i love you weirdo )

> oscarpiastri ✔️: just be happy she made a post about us at all, it’s a once in a blue moon occurrence, 99% of her feed is silent hill ❤️ love you both

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

> ynlovesthehorror: at least SOMEONE knows how to be grateful, love you osc ( and lando, i guess 🙄 )

danielricciardo ✔️: you’ve 100% gotten over lando pointing a gun at you and threatening you then yeah?

> ynlovesthehorror: oh that, yeah, totally! he bought me mcdonald’s and more silent hill stuff and toys for heather so we’re all good now <3

> landonorris ✔️: we’re literally DATING, you muppet 😭

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆｡˚ ⋆

yn ln being horny on main

[moonstruckme]

omg I love your sirius sm like im actually obsessed with him!!!! I was wondering if you could just do a cute drabble or one shot about him cuddling with reader and fighter over who’s big spoon and little spoon? I feel like he’d always get to be little spoon and reader would complain about it but secretly love it! if not no worries :))

Thanks for requesting sweetheart! There is nothing I want more in life than to be straddled in a playfully agressive manner by Sirius Black <3

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 500 words

“This is so not fair,” you laugh, and Sirius is trying to pin you behind him with his hands splayed awkwardly on your back. “You’ve had your turn forever.” 

“I’m not rolling over,” he tells you simply. 

You wriggle out of his grip, his black fingernails grasping desperately at your sleep shirt. “Fine,” you say, “then I’m rolling over. We can just sleep with our backs touching.” 

Sirius has flipped towards you before you can get far. He pins the arm closest to him to the bed so you can’t turn to your other side, his eyes narrowed dangerously. 

“You are going to spoon me,” he says, quietly, so straight-faced you’d hardly know he was playing with you, “and you are going to like it. Understand?” 

You’re not near as good as him at the stony act. You press your lips together, but they slant upward. “No,” you reply, and tug your arm from his grip. 

Your boyfriend makes an indignant sound, grabbing your arm again and rolling on top of you. You laugh, struggling. He only grabs hold of your other wrist, pinning both to the bed and leaning down so he’s in your space. 

“Why must you be so difficult?” he asks, like this is really very petulant of you. 

You blow at the hairs falling in his face. Sirius’ composure doesn’t break, but now the mirth is in his eyes. Quick as a flash, he pecks you on the lips. 

“Wha—don’t do that!” you giggle, moving your hips this way and that to jostle him. He rides it out like minor turbulence. “We’re in a fight.” 

“Don’t be so good-looking, then.” He steals another kiss, better than the last. It makes you chase him once it’s done, but he pulls out of your reach. “Feeling ready to spoon, darling?” 

“Ready to be spooned,” you challenge. “You can’t seduce me into submission, you know.” 

Sirius blows out a breath as if the tedium of this dispute is really getting to him. “Alright, fine.” He lets go of your wrists, slumping down on top of you and folding his hands on your chest. He lets his chin rest atop them. “I can stay here all night. I’m rather comfy, actually.” 

You’ll bet he is. You roll your eyes exaggeratedly, making sure he sees your reluctance. “Okay,” you sigh. “You can be little spoon for tonight, but I want at least two hours of little spoon time when we watch that movie tomorrow night.” 

He grins, flashing teeth. “Can do, sweetness.” 

“Oh, now it’s sweetness,” you mutter as he rolls off you and onto his side.

“You’re always my sweet girl,” he says matter-of-factly, pulling your arm over him and kissing your heart line. He gives your hand a condescending little pat. “Sometimes you just need to remember who’s in charge.” 

“I can still turn around,” you threaten. “And is the one in charge the one pushing his butt into me right now?” 

“You better believe it, gorgeous.”

[waistdoll]

I am new to jirai kei, but I just wanted to know some tips and other things I should be educated on in the subculture 🩷 I just don't want to come off as ignorant because Im new 🫶 so do you have any tips or things I should know? ⁠♡

TW: harmful behavior, s*x work, mentions of self-h*rm, i will try to talk about the differences, the stereotypes and the reason behind them, having the "jirai kei" as a main subject.

୨ৎ if you want to know more about the girly kei style you can ask me too!! like brand recommendations, tips on buying from japan, japanese clothes size, makeup, etc.

but please, keep in mind that:

• jirai kei 地雷系 (lifestyle) and dark girly kei (style that some of the jirai girls use) are two separated things and you can be jirai without using the style and you can use girly kei without identifying as jirai.

tl;dr: the western / social media vision of jirai is totally wrong. jirai kei in Japan isn't a style at all; jirai kei is a lifestyle that is seen as "unhealthy".

the term jirai kei came from “地雷系”. translates to “landmine-type”, not the literal meaning as “landmine”, is a japanese slang for "trigger" "red flag" “地雷を踏んだ”, meaning “i stepped on a landmine”. in reference to a person, a “landmine” is someone that’s so easily triggered over minor things that they keep exploding on others with abusive behavior, so you need to be as careful as if you were walking around a minefield.

this meaning has been around for about a decade, primarily used in dating advice articles about how to recognise “red flags” in a partner.

"but OP, it isn't a style?"

in those dating stereotypes, even the most arbitrary traits were considered red flags and wearing dark alternative fashion is already enough to have someone considered a potential landmine, the style in question is called dark girly kei. (style used by many jirai kei girls)

around 2020, jirai kei didn’t have any associations with any particular fashions or interests, but when a popular japanese makeup vlogger started a “psycho girlfriend” dress-up challenge and called the final look a landmine-type cosplay. she contributed to the stereotype that the landmine-types were often fans of dark girly fashion, every influencer was getting in on the trend, and cosplaying as a landmine-type psycho girlfriend, generally also tagging with “yandere”, then a lot of influencers did the challenge and lots of girlykei brands started to use the "jirai kei" terminology to sell more.

"why would someone call themselves jirai knowing that it means "psycho woman" in other words?? wouldn't it be romanticizing?"

popularly, there's a lot of people who call themselves jirai kei knowing about the difference of jirai & girlykei because of their mental conditions, i, myself use jirai kei to feel a little better about my mental state and to connect to other people who struggle the same as me, even if they stopped calling themselves jirai they wouldn't stop their unhealthy behavior, they're not mentally ill because of jirai, they're jirai because of their mental illness. the spaces for real mentally fucked people in the internet are so few, these people that are called "psycho bitches" exist and they shouldn't feel bad about being like this, they are the people who most struggle with all of it and it's their business if they want to call themselves it. telling people to not use the jirai kei term will not stop them to engage on harmful behavior, at the end those people are still mentally ill and have more problems than the terminology they use. might be thinking the "jirai antis" are some sort of saviors or something like that, if you really want to help those people don't blame it in the community and style they've found themselves.

all jirais don't have the same behavior even if all of them have a fucked mental state, some of them might be posting self-harm for validation, some are obsessed with their s/o, some doing sex work for attention, some of us has violent thoughts and bpd, some of us are just neurodivergent, or have depression, etc, is a form of venting/expression, and venting ≠ encouraging someone.

some info:

• the term hadn't changed its meaning, please don't act like it's some sort of "feminist movement" or even empowering.

• part the association of girly kei with harmful behavior is related to "toyoko kaiwai" (トー横キッズ) who's around Kabukicho, many of the members have been wearing various dark j-fashion styles before the "psycho girlfriend dress-up challenge" became a trend. they're credited as the reason for why those styles are associated with the landmine stereotype to begin with. they're been connected to under*ge pr*stitution, dr*g ab*se, public self-h*rm, murd*r and theft.

they are around age 9-24, (firstly known as toyoko kids, but like, there's a lot of adults in this) they're often privileged children who were convinced to get away from home by bad influences. and many members have died or been hospitalized as a result. for more info search the Japanese spelling on any japanese news site, or their signature hashtags on social media:

#/toho横界隈

#/トー横界隈

#トー横

recently, their former leader “Howl”, died by suicide while waiting in custody for a trial, (<- click for more info) -> (also here) for convincing minors to run away from home in order to “work” for him and dress in a way he finds attractive.

all these minors he "convinced" are victims, you can use the style without agreeing with this behavior and be jirai without agreeing with this, they're all manipulated children and it isn't their fault.

[emmyrosee]

AHHHHH I just found new brain rot! Okay okay. So. The Try Not To Kiss trend on TikTok where you're supposed to lay on your partner like you're going to make out, get as close as possible to kissing, and see how long you can last until one of you breaks. I can't even begin to choose from any of the HQ guys because honestly, I love them all. But I think Bokuto would cave INSTANTLY! Atsumu and Oiks would try to tease the absolute shit out of their partner but would be dying. I feel like Sakusa would last the longest? Maybe Suna because he's a little demon.

I don't know I'm losing it over here.

IM GONNA SHIT RAINBOWS DONT DO THIS TO ME MATE-

Also Suna/Sakusa got just the smallest, littlest bit heated, reader discretion is advised!!

Bokuto doesn’t stand a chance my guy. He’s merely watching tv, sprawled in his sweats after his shower and you have the NERVE, the AUDACITY, the GUMPTION to DO THIS TO HIM??? WHEN HE CAN BARELY KEEP HIS PAWS OFF OF YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE???

The minute you snake over to his side, an arm tosses over your shoulder to bring you close. You hum happily and gently nose at his temple, relishing in the smell of his clean skin. “You’re warm,” you murmur.

“I take hot showers,” he chuckles, turning his head to kiss you. You duck away slightly, and there’s a flash of confusion that crosses his face for a moment. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“I wanted to kiss you… don’t you want to kiss me?”

There’s no shot of doing this. Not when his mind revolves around kissing you constantly, always, feeling his lips dominating yours in eagerness, teeth clacking together with need and desire and-

Your thoughts are cutoff when he captures you in a kiss exactly so, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your head, the one around your shoulders pulling you close. You can’t help but purr, and even if now there’s a failed tiktok recording, it’s worth it whenever the Bokuto Koutarou starts kissing you.

“You think too loud,” he teases with a nip of your lip. “Hate when you hesitate. I just want to kiss you forever, babe…”

Who would you be to deny him?

-

Oikawa is a little different, same with Atsumu. Because he constantly craves you too, he’s obsessed with you. But who is he to back from a challenge? Especially when you swing your leg over his lap, settling against his thighs contently, and he looks up with an amused smile.

“Comfy?” He teases, and you laugh before lacing your fingers in his fluffy hair. He mewls and angles his touch, and when you start to lean forward to simulate a kiss, he leans over to meet you, but he’s confused when you don’t meet in the middle. One brown eye opens up to peek at you, and when you’re gazing back down at him with challenge glimmering in your eyes, he exchanges the kiss with a smirk and a bite of his lip.

“You wanna play this game?” He mumbles softly, and you snicker as your hands scratch at his scalp. “You don’t want to kiss me?”

“Of course I want to kiss you,” you assure, nudging your nose with his. His hands cradle your hips as they gently smooth up and down, thumbs stroking over the meat. “I want to kiss you so bad.”

“Then kiss me,” he pants. In truth, your teases only make you more tantalizing, and there’s nothing more that he’d like to do than make you mewl from his kissing, a complete putty in his hands just because he’s the only one who can. “I won’t tell anyone.”

You laugh out loud at his words, feeling the mood slip slightly, but he’s not budging other than his coaxing words. The hand in his hair moves to instead cradle his jaw, and he needs to kick it up a notch.

In faux submission, and in an attempt to make you crumble, he leans even closer and whimpers softly close to your mouth, panting needily and eyes flicking up to you as if you’re the bad guy here, denying him. And you gotta give him credit- he does look delicious.

“You’re evil,” You whisper, but you still try to hold strong, thumbs caressing his jawline. Your head angles and you sigh in return against his lips, biting your lip enticingly.

You’re not sure who finally connected the kiss. But what you do know, is it wasn’t appropriate for tiktok.

-

Sakusa. Sakusa and Suna. My beloved menaces. They would have ABSOLUTELY no problem withholding longer than you, sheerly because if you start something, he’s gonna make you finish it. Not to mention Suna having the knowledge of the viral trend HA-

If you want to break him? You gotta start before you film the tiktok.

He’s in the kitchen, literally just grabbing a glass of water, when you’re up against him, arms wrapped lowly around his waist and eyes peering up at him. He chuckles down at you and wraps his own arm around your waist. “Missed me that much?”

“I did,” you whine, resting your chin against him to look up at him, and you see a glimmer of dominance flicker in his gaze. “Always miss you so much…”

“I’m coming right back to the couch, my love,” he says, humming softly. “Come on. We can go cuddle.” You’re practically clinging to him as you make your way to the couch where he was reading. One of his legs folds over the other for a small perch for you to sit in, and when you settle in, he flips back to the page he was reading.

That is, until your hand gently reaches up for his jaw, turning his head back towards you with a needy whimper. He smirks as his eyes flick up and down, “are you demanding my full attention now?” He asks, and you nod softly. “Too bad. You can wait until I finish this chapter.”

That, certainly, wasn’t the reaction you’d been anticipating. “But… but…” your fingers slip down to fist the collar of his tee shirt, tugging softly. “But I want your affection…” to entice him further, you lean closer and bite your lip, internally cheering when he leans forward as well. But before you can connect the kiss, he purrs out a teasing ‘no.’

“You constantly have my affection,” he says softly, confidence in his voice. “You will live for five extra seconds without it.”

“You’re being mean!” You pout.

Then, you gasp when one of his hands shoots to the back of your neck, gently slipping his fingers over the shorter hairs and fisting the locks dominantly. His lips finally ghost over yours as he snarls out against them, and you know he’s not going to break but god, this whole ordeal was almost worth it when he speaks.

“I’ll show you mean if you keep acting like an entitled brat.”

You squeak and tip your head back to try and ease the pull, relishing in the excited rage that flicks in his eyes when you mumble back, the war now being waged.

“You promise?”

[cumulo-stratus]

Spooked Stranger

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Male reader

Description: Y/n try’s to scare his friend coming around a corner- but scares spencer instead.

Warnings: Fluff, Possible swearing

Flufftober Day 11: Meet cute

A/N: Im obsessed with this prompt- i got it from CM meet cute challenge- and the prompt is: Character tries to scare their friend, but ends up spooking a complete stranger from the autumn section (sry its kinda short!)

It was a chilly October evening- and y/n had decided to stuff himself under a table in order to scare f/n. Until now Y/n had no idea how small the space under the small side table was until now- but he kept reminding himself it was worth it. He was gonna scare f/n so bad. So there he remained- shivering slightly under the table- hidden to the view of his friends. 

Spencer had to practically drag Derek, penelope, and Emily to Witches Woods, a local DC halloween faire (for those from new england/MA its like scream fest at canoby lake). After doing the haunted hayride they split off to get drinks and food from the concession stands, leaving spencer to fend for himself. He decides to make his way towards Castle Morbid- a winding path through a castle of medieval cannibals offering for you to join their feast of human flesh. but little did he know that around the corner was a stranger waiting for his friend- who was actually ahead of him. A gust of wind chilled his body and he pulled the scarf tighter around his neck- hoping for a bit of extra warmth in the autumn weather. 

Spencer approached the next corner cautiously- having been gotten bad by a scare actor a couple turns ago. HE was determined to not be scared by whoever or whatever cane around the corner- that was until a man dressed in a knitted sweater and slacks jumped out at him yelling. Spencer shrieked and jumped back pulling his arms around himself. He was frozen in place- a terrified look on his face, and a slightly bent posture. That’s when spencer got a moment to finally take in the stranger, he had h/c hair and was dressed in a knitted sweater covered in black cats (definitely not based off a sweater a wore recently to a halloween faire 🤭) and black slacks. The mystery man was laughing his ass off and when he finally opened his eyes and looked at spencer he froze. 

“your not f/n…” 

spencer chuckled lightly, not at all mad at the stranger, and responded

“N-no im not, sorry..”

The man looked up and exclaimed;

“no no! dont be sorry, im the one who scared the shit of a handsome stranger..”

He spoke with a smirk, winking at spencer. The flirtation left spencers cheeks warm, but luckily in the darkness it was hard to tell. when spencer re organized himself he spoke again, saying;

“oh- no, no dont worry about it- i enjoyed it..” 

he spoke with a sheepish smile and a shy voice- contrasting with the confident and loud demeanor of the stranger infront of him- who continued to flirt with the flustered man. 

“You know- if you enjoyed that much then may be if you give me your number i can scare you again sometimes.”

spencer thanked god for the darkness or else this mystery man would see the raging blush coating his cheeks. 

“well, ill- ill give you my number if you give me your name” spencer was still shy but his voiced had gained some confidence, urging the stranger to respond

“Of course handsome stranger- my names Y/n L/n. And as much as im happy calling you handsome i think you’d rather i call you your name.” 

again spencer blushed and looked down and responded 

“my names spencer, its good to meet you..” 

“pleasure to meet you too”

Even in the dark spencer could see y/ns smirk and started pulling out his phone in order to give him his number.

“straight to business- i like it..” 

Who spencer now knew as Y/n spoke in a slightly deeper sultry tone, seducing spencer. He stuttered his way through his phone number and after y/n pulled him closer by the tie stating “you’re cute when you’re flustered..” with a wink. Y/n was about to pull him closer for a kiss on on the cheek when from across the maze someone shouted 

“Y/N!” 

his head spun towards the shout before turning back to spencer and saying

 “well handsome- i gotta go, but ill call you- kay?” spencer could only nod- words impossible in his flustered state. And as spencer watched as the man jog away towards the source of the noise- he was left standing there speechless at the encounter.

And finally as he rounded the corner and went out of spencers sight he mumbled to himself “handsome..”

The End 

[undeadbanjos]

Pls tell us about the divorce over fic

pffft yeah okay. but i warn, it's not as fun as it sounds. so. tw for an abusive marriage/relationship.

story time.

so those who follow me currently probably know me primarlily for being one of three people crazy over wishshipping or joey wheeler in general in the yugioh fandom. particularly writing a good 80+ chapter long fic.

however. this was not my first fic. my first fic... was for in space with markiplier.

for those who dont know, markiplier (yes, the youtuber) actually has his own series of (mostly) choose your own adventure videos. and theyre all connected. his last series of videos was split into two massive parts, and he did this q&a after it was all said and done and someone asked if he'd ever do a part 3.

he said, "no, that's up to one of you guys to write."

well after 3 days of obsessively checking ao3 no one had taken up that challenge and even though i had never written a piece of fiction in my life the hyperfixation was so strong i sat down and started writing.

and dear god something came over me. i had 8 chapters written in the span of a day.

for a while, id post two chapters a day. which is...insane. like why the fuck did i do that? but eventually i managed to narrow it down to one chapter a day (which i know is still insane and for some fucking reason is what i currently do when in my writing fits.)

being this manic long fic writer that came out of no where i started to get some attention. memes were made in support of my story. people were talking about it. hell, i started to make friends, really a first for me in fandom space. someone made a joke about making a discord server. i asked if that was a legitimate interest to anyone and i got an overwhelming yes from several people so, i made one.

my husband at the time, found out i was doing something different in my off time. i'd put the baby to bed and go to my computer and start writing. i was laughing a lot more and checking my phone a lot (for fic comments, a habit i still have while in my posting fits). finally he confronted me.

"What is it you're doing on your phone all the time?"

"I.... wrote a fanfic. I get a lot of comments."

"Is it a smut?"

annoyed, I confessed that yes, there were a few smut chapters. He asked if he could read it. I gave him the link.

he was deeply disturbed by the smut. (He didn't even read the rest of it. like....the actual story I was writing.) the smut? I mean dude you could go look at it but I mean it's pretty vanilla sex between two consenting fictional adults, but whatever. I knew he wouldn't like it. at this point in our marriage he had already stated everything I liked was annoying.

anyway. when he found out I had made friends... he got really upset. he didn't want me to have other "influences tainting my mind." i shot him back with the fact he has friends online, so why couldn't i? he didn't like it, but he warned me to be careful.

then i met sitch.

those of you who know me are nodding their head. ah, yes sitch. those who have stumbled upon this rambling probably can tell this is where the story takes a turn because i know how to set things up. by god ive written like 160 chapters of fanfiction at this point.

anywho. this guy comments on my fic and asks permission to make fanart for it. this was so fucking wild to me. fanart? for MY fic? like who would have thought. i reply enthusiastically with a yes and tell him im on tumblr so please tag me so i can see it. a few days pass and i get a dm. it's the same guy. he's made the fanart. i love it. we chat a little about the fic. about in space. about music. slowly it starts creeping into talking about life. about anything, everything. it was kinda wild how i had met someone and felt like ive known him forever. this of course, is sitch. when the discord thing came up, i decided to ask him for help, because i literally didnt even have a discord at the time.

sitch helps me with the discord. we find some mods. we open the floodgates. swear to god about 40-50 people come in. some are more chatty than others. we all chat like good friends. i update the fic daily. we all find out we relate to each other a lot. we have movie nights and game nights. i continue writing the fic, even getting help from sitch at this point. he's become sort of my beta reader. (and now he's my editor thank god the yujou means friendship people have no idea how blessed they are)

i realize. fuck. these people...really relate to me. like me even. and i like them.

and sitch....sitch in particular...i really like.

i am in deep shit.

at this point, my husband is making it well known how much he disapproves how im spending my time. not that... he wanted to spend time with me though? he locked himself in his office and would play his own games. what he didnt like is i had found people that i relate to. that i could talk to. meanwhile i was reaching the point i was afraid to say literally anything around him.

at this point, he started teasing me about "having a crush on markiplier" and he would "joke" about me leaving him for markiplier or some shit. He started arguing with me about sexuality and gender out of no where, knowing what my stance was on it.

I don't really want to get into what my breaking point was.

A few weeks went by. I started to confide in my friends, and I started to confide in Sitch. One night, my brain came up with some logic that if I told him about the feelings I was developing (because they were only growing) he would reject me and we'd laugh it off.

Unfortunately it wasn't so simple.

For a week we were in this odd stalemate. Living in different countries but talking constantly. Having essentially an emotional affair, but knowing there was nothing really to do. I had no belief that I could make it on my own, and I knew I would get a lot of backlash from my family if I were to leave my husband. The weekend came and my husband got it out of me. I had feelings for one of my online friends. And I had confessed it to him.

My husband took my laptop and went through the messages. All of them. i fled to my parents house and tried to warn sitch that he had my laptop.

The next day, my husband convinced me I needed to delete everything. The discord server. My Tumblr. Even the fic. He essentially convinced me I was at an all time low of horribleness, and I believed him.

A week later I couldn't take it anymore. I missed my friends. Id sadly felt more loved by them than anyone around me. Which yeah, is pretty damn pathetic. I left my husband, and found my friends had already made a new discord, waiting for me. They had downloaded the fic, which I slowly re-uploaded and eventually finished. And sitch and I slowly built our relationship, have now met in person, and we're hoping he's able to move down here soon.

So yeah. I wrote a Markiplier fanfic and it led to me getting a divorce. Which honestly, thank god. I don't want to think about what would have happened to me if I hadn't.

[favoriteizzy]

This is a fanfic for E-vay because i have been obsessed with her art lately and she deserves more love ❤️

A Trip Of Rivalry

Amy just got off the phone with a client, who needed her help with designing a new house for their family.She wanted to stay home but needed the money for a surprise trip she had for everyone to go to Florida. Only she and rouge knew about it sense rouge had her own jewelry business/ thief little thing but either way she was gonna help pay for half of everyone while Amy got the other half including a certain someone her husband would HATE to be there. As amy was heading downstairs she heard her husband scream “I dare you to try and take her if im blocking the door” “Oh please hedgehog that’s not even a challenge” A familiar voice said. just then Amy got to the bottom to see her husband blocking the door as shadow was trying to leave while holding aurora’s hand. “ Dad please we will be right back we are going to get lunch i promise”. “But we have food here make chili dogs or something but you are NOT going with this faker Anywhere” “You got a- lot of nerve still thinking i’m the faker blue” Shadow finally said back” I’ll have her back in about a hour or two so if you don’t mind MOVE” . “Over my dead body if you think your taking her anywhere YOU LITTLE- “Sonic please just move” Amy said in frustration. Everyone then looked behind or to the side of them to see amy now walking towards the door. “Shadow have her home by 6:00, aurora be sure to text and call ok?” amy said pushing sonic away from the door. both of them nodded and left on their lunch break. “Amy i could have handled that i don’t trust that man” Sonic said in anger. “ I know but they will be find now come on i have to be somewhere and your not staying home alone to eat all the food”. They both smiled and put their shoes on to leave.

this link is about where i got the jobs from so incase of confusion also i didn’t think the fic was this long and i got lazy at the end ( as you can tell so i hope you like it E-vay

[lumineescente]

seungjin drabble (slowtober)

hii im doing a thing called slowtober (made by @/oeildesaturne on instagram, french speaking folks check it out!! although be aware of tw mental health and eds talks) and i'm posting on twitter a seungjin au per word

for the third word of this slowtober we got "mixture"

For this word i just HAD TO (no but yes) make a little hogwarts au... I genuinely tried to think about anything else but my dear hogwarts au it got longer than expected and TO BE HONEST I COULD GO ON!!!!!! i could write all this!! hogwarts au are my favorite

not betaed this is just for fun <3

and if you want to read a seungjin hogwarts au from me you can check this already posted fic!

AND if you enjoyed this challenge who is now over you can vote on this form for your favorite that I’ll be writing into a full fic on ao3! (“soumettre” is “submit” btw)

if you want to check all the drabbles you can go here

"Did it work?" Seungmin pouts staring at the potion in front of him.

The mixture's liquid looks decent, the forms of the steam above it looks like the kind of description their teacher made during class earlier, but something is off. He looks back to the recipe, knowing very well he has not missed a step because he is always very diligent with his work and also because Hyunjin was checking after him, but still. He checks.

"I think it did," Hyunjin answers after getting close to the potion. His cheeks coloured in pink. Seungmin does not notice.

"You think or you're sure? Those are two different things." 

Seungmin smells the potion. This is what is wrong with it. It smells nothing. And the smell is surely the most important thing about this potion. It has to smell like things the person smelling loves. Seungmin expected to smell old books, something homey, maybe that pie Hogwarts serves during Halloween. But all he can smell is Hyunjin's perfume because the latter is so close to him right now, hovering over his shoulder. And to be honest they've spent so much time together lately, Seungmin feels like the perfume has penetrated his own skin.

One thing to know about Seungmin is that he hates not understanding. He will ask questions, make the researches, works the extra time if he has to. But he will get it. Whatever it might be. Usually it is school works, because ever since he has entered Hogwarts it had been his priority (obsession some might said). In exchange he keeps on being the best student, one of them at least, except in potions. Which makes no sense because potions surely is one of the most rational subject they have. Follow the instructions. Choose the right ingredients. Dont miss a step. And follow again the instructions.

The things Seungmin should be the best at! Not that he does not succeed. He just does not succeed enough. And Seungmin really wants to be a healer at St Mungo, he does not need to be good at potions. He needs to be excellent.

Except he is not and apparently books could only tell as much as they can - the disappointment he had felt upon noticing that is still indescribable - so he had gone to the only option left. Ask for help. Slytherin this year were no exception to the unspoken rule of them being the best in potions, in the person of Hwang Hyunjin who was mostly knows for his quidditch skills (Seungmin had had many opportunities to admire... notice those skills through the years).

Another thing about Seungmin is that he definitely lacks people skills, and because Ravenclaw do not share their potion class with Slytherin, he had no reason to ask Hyunjin for help. He knew from other shared times that Hyunjin is a very nice and approachable person, only has the looks of the mean cliché Slytherin but he's heard one day one of his friends telling him he could have been sorted at Hufflepuff and he agrees. Because when Seungmin suddenly showed up and ask for help to that boy he has barely talked to all their years, the boy smiled and said of course.

All that happened last year. When they were studying for their O.W.L.S and Seungmin wanted to make sure he got a O. And he got it because Hyunjin was a very good teacher, very patient, nice and funny. Even if he would often stumble on his words, somehow always made his point very clear. Plus he knew Hyunjin made space for him in his schedule which was already busy with quidditch practices, so for that Seungmin was grateful.

By the end of the year Seungmin knew he had made a friend. Which had not been the case since his first year. This plus the O.W.L.s results, his fifth year was a success. He really thought it would be the end of their lessons but it was Hyunjin who came back to him and asked him if he wanted to continue. He said yes because he genuinely enjoyed it and, if he was being honest with himself, he was scared he would have no reason to hang out with Hyunjin if not. And he really liked hanging out with Hyunjin.

This is how they ended up making amortentia from scratch on a Tuesday evening, because Seugmin completely failed making the mixture during his class in the morning.

"I'm sure it worked," Hyunjin insists, "everything seems fine."

"I cant smell anything," Seungmin tells him.

Hyunjin frowns, "get closer."

Seungmin does so, even if it is useless. He takes a deep breath it but once again all he can smell is Hyunjin's perfume. Floral, probably with lavender undertones, and a bit overwhelming at first but comforting. He shakes his head.

"Do you smell anything?" He asks his surrogate teacher.

This time he does notice the blush on Hyunjin's face.

"I do," he mutters.

Seungmin's never been a really into gossiping, he hates personal question about himself so he does not pry.

"Well, that does not make any sense," he mumbles almost to himself, "go away for a bit, please."

"What?" Hyunjin chokes up.

"I didnt mean it like that... just can you go to the other side of the room so I can focus."

If the request is odd to Hyunjin he does not protest it and do as told. Seungmin stares at the pretty forms the steam makes above the pearly mixture for a moment, deep into focusing on his senses. He closes his eyes to make sure of it. Hyunjin is not in his personal space anymore so there is no reason for his perfume to linger that much, at least he hopes so. He gets closer and closer to the potion but his nose only picks up the same scent over and over. When he opens his eyes back he is frustrated and it probably shows.

"What's going on?" Hyunjin asks him, worry in his voice tone.

"Its just all I can smell is your perfume and I dont get..."

He stops his sentence when he sees the look on Hyunjin's face, the way his blush expanded and his eyes were round. There is a moment of silence during which Seungmin is not really sure what switches in the air what kind of tension gets itself comfortable between them, nor why does it mean. Things in their relationship have always been very easy, even with Seungmin struggling in social interactions, even during the very first lesson Hyunjin had easily broken the glass between them and made Seungmin very comfortable. There is no overthinking when he is with him. It is so relaxing, so freeing.

"Seungmin," Hyunjin eventually says and it is obvious he is trying to suppress a smile on his lips, "you're the smartest person I know... but..."

Seungmin opens his mouth to protest whatever is coming after the "but".

Hyunjin shakes his head and comes back to his previous place, close, very close to Seungmin. It shuts him up because suddenly everything is different.

He sees the look in Hyunjin's eyes, the way their hands could brush against each other if they decided to, and Seungmin is paralyzed.

"I think the potion works very well because I can smell the scent of old books in the library and sugar quills."

This time Seungmin feels himself blushing. Hyunjin always buys for him sugar quills if he goes to honeydukes without him, because Seungmin likes them so much. They are basically just sugar but the way they taste and feel are very calming somehow. He has never really thought a lot about Hyunjin's actions, just categorized him as the nice kind of persons who care a lot about everything and remember little stuff. He never thought it was something special. Just something endearing about Hyunjin like so many things.

"Uh.." he clears his throat. He never is at loss of words, he knows so many words!

Hyunjin smirks and Seungmin tries to look away but Hyunjin is too close and he is everywhere in his personal space and field of vision. It is overwhelming but he does not not like it. He just does not know how to respond to it. And he is still not sure he understands it. While Hyunjin seems to understand everything. That is embarrassing.

"I really thought I was obvious and that you were acting like it was nothing because you were being polite and you didnt want to embarrass me..."

Hyunjin is slightly taller than him, he has noticed, just a few centimeters really nothing in their day to day life but right now as Hyunjin very carefully moves his head closer to Seungmin's, he feels so tiny.

"But you were just very oblivious !" Hyunjin concludes with a smile, "because you are so smart, I never thought it could be that."

"Book smart and emotions smart are different things," he breathes out.

Hyunjin laughs and it makes Seungmin's heart race. He always seems to manage to make Hyunjin laughs so brightly like that, when he has never been known to be a particularly funny person.

"That's right," Hyunjin tells him, "so I'm going to ask you then. Seungmin, do you, perhaps, like me more than just a friend?"

Seungmin knows very well that his entire face is red by now, "I never.. thought about it," he confesses.

Hyunjin smiles very gently, "I did. I actually thought about it so much I lost sleep over it because all I could think about was you and how much I like you."

Seungmin's ears are ringing and he can only hear the loud beating of his own heart, "you did..."

Hyunjin once again looks at him with those doe beautiful gentle eyes and smiles softly and Seungmin feels like he is both melting and burning.

"This might be a bit overwhelming, so..." Hyunjin says and his voice is a little less confident than before, "maybe you can think about it and I can take you out on a date this Saturday at hogsmeade... and if you dont like me then I'll never bother you again with my feelings."

"That's.... thats a very good idea."

The face Hyunjin makes is better than any academic success, Seungmin thinks.

[hairscare]

how tf were they plotting against you.. your life is the worlds worst sitcom and i am enthralled

okay this got a little long and self flattering and lowkey like i should be studied by a psych class but stay with me here. this is just how my weird ass mind processes things

for context this ask is about my job at spirit christmas. at spirit stores theres only one job listing for employees which is "sales associate" so basically the idea is they can justify making you do anything and paying everyone the same minimum wage rate no matter if one person is doing harder work. now at the halloween store i exclusively did cash register because i was REALLY GOOD AT IT (i got the top amount of donations for spirit of children and also sold the most individual items, i was also the second highest on getting emails by a gap of maybe 20) so everyone else in that stores status on floor or cash register was dependent on if i was there bc i always got register. if youve followed me long enough you know that im a self obsessed megalomaniac so of course all of this went to my head and i got very used to being top dog. but halloween ended and i transferred to the christmas store which was

1. a separate location than my store so i wasnt used to it

2. full of employees i didnt know and wasnt used to

3. was significantly larger than my store was, at least twice the size, probably more

and 4. sold stupid shit

so i wasnt super thrilled with it and was at a disadvantage. still, i was determined to become queen bee of this store as well, because, lets face it, i hate not being the best of the best and the envy of all. call me what you want but i love attention and being perfect. so i did my work setting up and lugged and unpacked boxes of bullshit. of course i was also getting paid minimum wage im disabled and im lazy so i only did what i felt like i could do and left the challenging stuff for other people

so the store finally opened and its my first day on register. also on register is this alt girl im gonna call trungle. im kind of like an animal in that you cant throw me into a strange new pen with another alt person and expect me to immediately be cool with them. i need time to figure them out, see if theyre cool or a freak, see if i should feel threatened by them or not. since i was already in a bad mood- the cinammon scented pine cones right in front of the register were NOT helping- i was inclined towards dislike immediately.

now trungle was friendly in that "i want to talk to you but im hesitating every time i try to start a conversation because im still weary of how i might come off as uncool or annoying" way. whatever, i get it. usually when im somewhere im comfortable in and talking to someone i dont mind i can deal with this pretty well bc i can make up for their confidence. but i was not pleased to be there and this person was pushing my buttons with her conversation starters so i was kind of standoffish.

now, something that really annoyed me is that she felt the need to give me lectures on how i should be doing everything. kept telling me what to do and what not to do as if the one day she worked the day before made her an expert. besides, a lot of it was exactly the same as spirit halloween when it came to the registers so i already knew a lot of it. i should mention she was also a sales associate so it wasnt even like she was an assistant manager or anything who i wouldve felt more inclined to listen to

but the real nail in the coffin was when spirit of children donations got brought up. so i guess that locations spirit halloween didnt reach its donation goal and the district manager turned manager of the christmas store was not happy about that (keep in mind, i was told this by trungle, who will prove to be dubious, so take all of this with a grain of salt) (i should also mention for flavor that the manager got into a huge fight with corporate on the first day the store was open and quit only to rehire herself a few hours later), so cashiers were supposed to strongarm donations out of people by saying "how much do you want to donate" instead of "would you like to round up or donate". however thats stupid and i dont feel right pressuring people to donate and also im already amazing at getting donations through my charming personality and rugged good looks so i said something like "well good thing im here not to brag or anything but was #1 in donations at my store so i can save this place".

when youre face to face with someone as delusional and cocky as me, the worst thing you can do is try to kindly and gently one up them. sadly for trungle, she chose to do just that and casually announce with 0 showmanship that she was also #1 in that store, and then asked me how much id raised. now keep in mind, like i mentioned earlier, my store was significantly smaller than this one and we got a LOT less sales because less people came to ours. once they were in of course they fell under my charms and bought a ton of things and donated to spirit of children. so i told her very confidently that id raised over $300 for spirit of children. she then retorts with a "oh, i raised over $500."

and that, dear reader, is when the hate, like embalming fluid, invaded my heart and filled my veins. the only thing that overpowers my pride in size is my capacity to be a hater. so when trungle nonchalantly threw out that volatile phrase which, with no context, makes me seem like a loser, war was declared.

for the rest of my shift i had to deal with her as fury boiled within me and she kept telling me how to do things. i was never indulgent to her conversation, and yet she never caught on that i was deeply unfriendly. for four hours i dealt with her, until finally her shift ended. after that alone i was planning on quitting, but the shift after that was better bc the girl i was working with was a coworker from my halloween store so i actually had a good time

and then came my third shift. i was already in a bad mood because traffic was really bad and id decided that after work i would send a quitting text on the basis of the commute alone. however, my bad fortune had not yet dissipated, and so trungle was going to be working the registers with me. this meant more uncomfortable attempts on her end to chit chat with me. whatever, i thought, its my last day, ill just avoid her as much as possible by tidying up in the impulse area in front of the registers when theres downtime

then we get to the last half an hour of my shift. shes still been telling me how to do shit which pissed me off but who cares after that shift i never had to see her again. still shes really annoying though. another thing i should mention is that i have auditory processing issues and with all of the sounds in the store i couldnt hear her well so a lot of it was her saying things i couldnt hear and then me saying a noncommittal affirmative in response. im running low on 5s and 1s in my cash register drawer but i didnt get the chance to tell anyone because i was busy with customers and also drawing yaoi on printer paper. listen yaoi was all that was getting me through the shift and also there was enough dollars left that i could still make change on like 1 or 2 more cash transactions

my boss from the halloween store who was now an assistant manager at the christmas store brought out a cart full of things that needed to be shelved and asked if one of us would do it. trungle didnt jump up to do it so i said i would, anything to get away from her. for the last half an hour of my shift i am not at the register, im out and about putting things around the store.

spirit is super paranoid about employees stealing, so at the end of your shift you have to empty you pockets and bags and also a manager has to count out your cash register to make sure you didnt steal any money. now at the old store they never even bothered to count my drawer because i was That Good, they werent even worried about me. at this store, though, i was not afforded that liberty, and as i approached the registers to clock out, i noticed a horde of people around my register, at least four people. trungle was amongst their ranks. the assistant manager who had given me the cart to work on called me over.

naturally, i was confused. honestly, i thought it had something to do with my drawings. maybe they were adverse to gay demon boys. but it was quickly revealed to me that the reason there were 3 managers around my cash register was that there were no 5s or 1s in the drawer. i was told rather sternly that if the register gets low, i HAVE to notify a manager to get change, because the register cannot be empty.

and listen, i get that. i already KNOW that. is been working on spirit registers for months by this point. i know when i need change and i know what to do. but there was a major glaring issue: when i left the register, it WASNT EMPTY. there were still 5s and 1s in that damn thing. so i told them that, and obviously they didnt believe me, so they reinstated that i cant let that happen and i need to tell a manager when i need change. i figure fuck it, my shift is over, todays my last day, im quitting after this, just nod along and clock out. whatever.

so the managers disperse and one of them takes my registers contents to the back to count. i go to the register to clock out. im already confused and pissed off that this stupid ass job has the nerve to scold me for something that i didnt even do after all of the work id put in the last four months.

but then trungle, fucking TRUNGLE, had the audacity to walk up to me- thats another thing, whenever she wanted to talk to me, shed leave her register and walk directly up to me, very weird- and reinstate to me "when you need change you need to tell a manager you cant let it run out."

if i wasnt angry before, i was now. there i was, at my weakest, like lucifer cast from that exalted position on heavens throne, and she had come to gloat. she had stood there amongst the managers as they repeatedly lectured me and then decided that they had not said it enough, or rather that SHE had not said it, and that therefore it had not been said enough, and so she had drilled it into me one last time.

im not sure if it was her fault. maybe for whatever reason she took a customer on that drawer, emptied the 5s and 1s, didnt get change from a manager, and then refused to own up to it and let me take the blame. i really dont know. and i really dont care. but for her to stand there and play little miss rulebook while i suffered was too far. so i glared at her with a look of pure loathing, and i barked an "Okay." at her before walking away to go put my apron and stupid fucking hat on the hangers and storm out without even waiting for my registers contents to be accounted for.

i have no idea what happened to that stupid money. what matters to me though is that they tried to say it was my fault and scolded me as a group when id literally never done anything wrong before, and then to top it all off trungle decided to jump in and give me one final self congratulatory kick in the stomach while i was down. so yes, i have in the wake of that night decided to believe there was some nefarious intent behind what happened, not even because i think thats probably true, but because with the way my life is, it might as well be. anyways moral of the story is im always right and im perfect and im gods gift to the earth ok bye

[xamaxenta]

Hi Xam! This is knight/prince AU anon~ Currently stuck inside due to bad weather so I started workshopping an older scenario. Any thoughts or additions I will just consider bonus, because truly I just wanted to share :) Hope you are having a good day!

Roger sends Sabo deep into the wilderness of the kingdom on a task requested by a member of high court. He tells Sabo the task is yet another way someone in power is trying to test his skill, and the best way to shut them down is to return successful. Sabo isn't impressed by this, and the goal to retrieve some old sword isn't very exciting, but Roger manages to pique his interest by promising a (once in a lifetime) reward.

An ancient relic is, according to legend, said to dwell deep within the thickness of the sprawling forests up north. Sabo gets huffy about being forced to go after something that may not even be real, but Roger says all their kingdom's legends stem from truth. It's just that the tales are so old that there is no way to prove what is true and what has become hearsay over time.

He mentions that the relic is a stone sword (And Sabo makes a witty remark about them being up too far north for it to possibly be that legendary sword, which Roger denies, this being a different sword than King Arthur's) that is possibly been imbued with magical power. This magic enchantment is the reason not a single person aside from the sword's original creator has ever laid claim to it. (Maybe Roger says this with such certainty that it's hinted he's gone after the same sword himself? But while he was unable to use it, he believes Sabo with his significant magical prowess will be able to wield it with ease.)

The reward of completing this harrowing quest is the mystical sword itself, so Sabo takes up the challenge and departs with Ace immediately. But, like many of their tasks they have to take up outside of the capital and far out in the wilderness, it's all a ruse to set up an assassination. The two reach the place where the sword is, and Sabo returns from where the weapon rests carrying the hilt of a broken stone blade. It might be an actual "stone" sword but the missing portion of the blade is channeled through imbuing it with mana, or something. It sounds cool in my head for the sharp tip to be a glowing, raw form of mana instead of physical stone the entire way through. So although the stone has eroded over the years, the sword can still be "intact" and at full power when magic is applied.

This is one of those few pivotal times that the script flips and Sabo ends up using the sword's power to protect Ace after they get ambushed. (Well, that, or he could pick up Ace's discarded enchanted sword and show Ace what the power of it is like with the hilt in the hands of a true mage.) Either while Sabo is getting the relic, or after coming back with it (So the ones ambushing them see the proof Sabo has succeeded and plot to take the sword for themselves after killing the two) Ace is overwhelmed, and Sabo steps past him with one of the swords in hand, and says to Ace while Ace can only look up at his back “I told you I was the strongest person in this kingdom, and I intend to prove that as fact.”

And then he swings the sword like a bat or a club and a ranged attack cuts down almost all of their attackers in one fell swoop. Maybe they leave one alive to tell the tale as a warning or maybe it takes little work to kill all of them. Either way, they head back to the capital and Sabo parades around with the relic and then obsessively shuts himself in his office to try and study how it works (It being such old, undocumented magic and all, piques his interest) the end! (:

my god i always have so much awe for the way you craft thoughts and narratives for this au

Its really lovely im

I dont have much to add right now bc i need to reread this about a billion times thank you

Sabo getting to protect Ace is so special 🥰 intending to prove that he’s the strongest in their kingdom and the absolutely brilliant starburst of mana and magic haloing him his hands and his thrumming instrument of channelling between them in the shape of a shattered sword

Its so illustrative and romantic ❤️

[summercourtship]

hi! this is probably really random but i just finished reading stay to burn (only to drown instead) and i just... have so much to say. its been two days since i found this and i finished it in the past two nights, staying up till 8 am and reading it with the biggest smile on my face. ive been unbelievably invested. and the first thing i want to mention is the way you wrote jonathan crane.. being an avid nolanverse crane fan (because cillian murphy is papa) i rarely see any fics about him which had me so heartbroken, until i came across this while seeking out battinson fics. and it completely changed my life. i believe no one can write him the way you do, the completely chilling, toxic, manupulative, obsessive, possessive, insane way you wrote him was so unbelievably realistic. i know ill sound a little dramatic but i genuinely have tears in my eyes just writing this review because that whole 16 chaptered masterpiece means so much to me. you have changed my life for the better in a way, i know this is dramatic but im so serious. ive been so happy just reading this (does that sound insane) because you write him so so insanely beautifully, that i am kind of sad because i dont think any other way hes written will ever live up to it. the way you portrayed battinson and edward also had me hooked. it was so brilliant, the relationships were so wonderfully crafted. and the smut was INCREDIBLE. everytime there was a chilling scene with crane i would go back and reread it over and over again. (may i add, the little spit kink and slap part blew me away. thank you for that) especially really loved him being a psychology professor. and scarily dominant and so eerily calm. your writing brought back my love for him, made me want to rewatch his scenes over and over again so i could fantasize about him instead of doing homework or something. the last part about his fear toxin sticking with you, a part of him instilled within the reader, the way he said she belonged to him— how calmly he challenges her, tries to gain control over her life, a mix of tropes that are my absolute favourites strung together in your brilliant work. i wish i could read it for the first time again, i wish there were 10 more parts of it. i started the fic because im obsessed with battinson, but i immediately got invested into crane and reader's toxic relationship which was so beautifully written. and even though its unhealthy it made me crave something like it. (can you tell i have father issues) im so so sorry for writing so much but i just finished the fic and its almost 5 am here and i had to send in my appreciation. every single part about the fic was perfect— the way you wrote bruce, and edward had me fucking terrified but it was so good. another thing i adored was the way you portrayed reader— i could reflect myself in her. i could feel like i was there. the settings, the themes, the way you portrayed arkham— everything was wonderfully crafted. im kinda running out of adjectives omg because im just.. i just loved it so so so much. thank you for writing this. and especially for altering my brain chemistry forever with how you wrote crane. especially the fear aspects. everything. literally everything. he's perfect.

and i beg you, if you ever plan to write for him again, i cant wait to read it. im begging you to please do it. no pressure, of course. im just kind of upset because i feel like any other jonathan fic i read will seem pale because i would keep comparing it to your way of writing him. you're amazing. your writing is everything and i hope you never stop. i just want you to know that you will forever have an avid, enthusiastic reader no matter what. thank you so much. 🎀

(oh my god i went off the rails here... my bad.)

first off: i love getting long messages, never apologize!!

secondly: thank you so much!! I'm honored that this fic means so much to you, it was really a labor of love and I'm so happy that people are still reading it and connecting with it even though it's been a few months since it was completed! I get having a fic kinda change your life- I have a few of those myself! Stories are stories and even if the medium seems lame, they can and will change you if you let it.

The lack of nolan!verse Crane fics was what really inspired me to start working on STBOTDI- I wanted a nice long fic and couldn't find any, which is a true shame! Jonathan was really fun to write, because he's essentially a walking red flag that the reader willing ignores bc she's horny curious.

Not many people have talked about their last conversation in Arkham but I really liked it! I think it is a conversation where they are at their most honest with one another. (Also the bit about the fear toxin lasting in her is kinda hot ngl.)

ALSO I am so happy you connected with the reader! It's always a gamble with reader characters to make them have agency and a personality while hopefully still being somewhat relatable for the actual reader.

I have plans for a multi-fic sequel!! I don't know how much of each relationship will actually be in it, but all of the characters will be there and will be vying for the reader's attention/control over her again. I'm still in the early planning stages of that but I'm hoping to really get it going sometime early next year.

<3

[shit-sorry-fuck-mybad]

TOP GUN F1 AU CAUSE IM TRASH

I am obsessed with my silly little au and I decide to make myself happy from time to time so

Maverick’s maiden win is complete chaos, but honestly it’s exactly what everyone expected

It’s the second race of the year, his second race with Ferrari

He was a little disappointed he didn’t win the first race but you know what they say, he’s not superstitious but the curse might just be a thing so he lets it go, maybe the universe was actually trying to help him for once

Quali has never been his strong suit, quali is about precision, maverick needs those other 19 drivers to fight, he needs room to improvise, he needs uncertainty, he needs battles, he needs to interact with others on track so that he can eventually beat them

Iceman is a fucking beast on quali, always has been, makes sense doesn’t it

Race day, Maverick is starting fourth, not what he expected but still good, it’s lights out and away he fucking goes

He’s like a man possessed, he can hear his race engineer giving him orders on the radio but he’s way too focused on his task, he knows his car, he tells them what to do… yeah they don’t appreciate that

Fighting Ice is the challenge he wanted

He knows what they say about him, ice cold, no mistakes, right? But maverick knows that this man is just like him, he’s desperate for victory, so when ice pushes, he pushes back

He crosses the finish line after almost causing maybe five crashes, ignoring several team orders and getting yelled at for ignoring said team orders, but he crosses the finish line as a race winner

Now… maverick knows Ice, everyone knows Ice, he’s a legend in the making or something like that, but they’ve never actually interacted

He puts his feet on the ground and Ice immediately grabs him by the shoulders, Mav still has his helmet on, Ice doesn’t, and he can see the anger and frustration in his eyes, he’s sweaty and tired but he still hold Mav tight as he demands an explanation

“What the fuck were you thinking Mitchell? That bullshit you just pulled could’ve gotten all of us killed” Mav soddenly becomes aware that everyone is watching them

He tries to act relaxed, like he isn’t being basically threatened by another driver, he smiles and then remembers he still has his helmet on, so he chuckles instead “But it didn’t”

Ice takes a step back, people don’t laugh at him, people are usually intimidated by his cold and slightly aggressive attitude, but this little bastard seems to be enjoying this shit “You’re dangerous, I don’t like that”

“if you don’t like dangerous then maybe you should’ve chosen a different line of work Ice… man” Maybe he’s delusional, he can blame the exhaustion of the race, but he thinks he sees a hint of a smirk in Ice’s face

“I won’t risk my life more than I already do because some cowboy like you decided to go suicidal mid race” and with that he walks away

Maverick watches him go and he knows, he knows that this is it, this is what everyone in this sport wants, someone that can fight them, someone that will do anything to understand them in order to beat them

Everyone wants a rival, Mav thinks he just found his, and he gets the feeling that Ice agrees

The media fucking loves it

“He tries to act relaxed, like he isn’t being basically threatened by another driver” what I’m trying to say is that Mav thinks it’s hot, he’s horny, he wants to fu—

I can’t write fanfiction so I do this instead, I think I’ll do one for the daggers cause like…. Come on it’s too good

Also someone called me out on the Leclerc and Verstappen parallels and like fuck you you are 100% right

Here’s the first part -> x

[ase-trollplays]

When We Were Kids (Part One)

...s-so... how are you feeling?... ...s-still s-sore?...

Y'all got no idea. The only thing that don't hurt is blinkin'. I swear, soon as I can move again, I'm suplexin' Dan inta next sweep.

...he only picks on you because he cares... ...its his way of making s-sure you dont obsess over everything...

Ya mean like the fact I fucked myself an' can never have anythin' close ta a normal life ever again cuz I lost my fool head?

...yeah... that... ...im just relieved you werent killed... ...i... ...i was going insane thinking id have to bury another moirail...

I wouldn't be too relieved. I can't go out in public ever again with legis an' fleet dogs out fer my head. Prolly got a hefty bounty, too, an' rewards fer turnin' me in. Y'all two ain't safe either if anyone finds out y'all know me.

...yeah... ...when dantli comes back... we s-should all talk about where were going from here...

Ugh, I can't even get my shit from my hive. It's prolly bein' watched or somethin', or it's been raided an' bugged by now in case me'r one a y'all shows up. God, my lusus ain't gon' know what happened ta me, an' he can't come here like yers. I ain't sure he'll wait a sweep fer me ta come back like when I was a kid.

...that reminds me... ...when i was in the hospital... you s-said you knew exactly how i felt when i was being held captive... and that i s-should ask you about your childhood...

Yeh. Yeh, I did say that, didn't I? I'm guessin' this is yer way a askin'?

...yeah... if you dont mind...

Alright. It ain't a happy story, but I'm sure ya already figured that. I guess I'll start from the beginnin'.

I was even more a a hotheaded stubborn shit when I was a kid, if y'all can believe that. Pickin' fights with every troll I saw an' tryin' ta befriend the ones who beat me. Which was damn near all a them cuz fer all my bluster, I was a twiggy scrawny little toothpick, ain't had a ounce a muscle on me. I didn't want nobody thinkin' I was weak just cuz I was a skinny rust.

I was always gettin' my dumb ass beat up an' hurt tryin' ta prove I ain't no wimp, but I did get some good friends outta it. Even had a li'l flush crush on one a them, a girl who beat me in a fight just by knockin' me down an' sittin' on me 'til I wore myself out tryin' ta get her off. I had a whole group a friends back then. I can't tell ya what their names'r caste was, but we were a happy li'l group.

Here's the part where everythin' goes ta shit. When I was five, I was out patrollin' my li'l territory when I spotted a scraggly-lookin' teal prowlin' around. He was a adult an' a lot bigger'n me, but I challenged him all the same. He hauled off an' kicked me dead in the stomach an' told me ta get lost. If I was smart I'd a left it at that, but who said wrigglers are smart? I wasn't ready ta say I lost, so I picked myself up, grabbed a big ol' rock, an' chucked it square at the back a his head. Hit him so hard he started bleedin' an' staggered a good bit.

He looked back at me real mad at first, then he started smilin'. Said I had a lot a fight in me for a twiggy brat. I told him there's more where that came from if he don't git, an' he laughed an' said he'd have a ball breakin' me. 'Fore I knew it, he was right up on me, an' I didn't have no time ta react 'fore he got me in the gut with a stun gun an' knocked my ass right out.

I woke up in a cell with a couple other young trolls. I asked where I was, an' they said I was in the slave camp. Said I was here cuz they were gon' break me, train me inta a perfect li'l pet slave, then sell me off ta the highest bidder. Needless ta say, I wasn't havin' that shit. I made it my mission ta put up as much a a fight as I could an' refuse ta be domesticated.

First handler they assigned ta me was that teal that grabbed me. Since I already fought with him once, I knew what ta expect. He got a lotta good licks in over the first couple nights, but eventually he slipped up an' I was able ta steal his stun gun an' shock him dead in the eyes. After that, they decided to gimme their toughest, meanest, biggest handler.

He was a big blueblood who made us call him "Mister," an' he took that shit serious. I called him asshole exactly once an' he slapped me 'cross the face so hard he damn near snapped my neck. I couldn't feel my face fer a night afterward. Most a my abuse came from him, an' I just know he was havin' fun beatin' my ass every night tryin' ta make me give up.

But I'm the most stubborn bitch ever hatched, so I didn't make shit easy fer him. He beat me ta shit, starved me, locked me in a tiny li'l cage, an' made sure no one talked ta me'r tried helpin' me'r they'd be in the same boat. His favorite punishment fer me was the post. There was a big wooden post in a sort a courtyard outside with a pair a manacles attached. He'd lock me in, hike up my shirt, an' tear me ta ribbons with a whip. Afterwards, he'd leave me out there fer nights with only a thick blanket thrown over me ta keep me from bein' completely cooked ta death by the sun durin' the day.

He liked hearin' me cry an' scream in pain, so I'd try my damnedest to keep my mouth shut no matter how hard an' how much he whipped me. I'd stay quiet for the first thirty seconds, but after that I could never hold it in anymore. Then he'd whip me more fer resistin'. So many times I was close ta givin' up if it meant he wouldn't torture me no more, but I didn't wanna let him win.

...oh my god... ...im s-so s-sorry... ...i cant even imagine... and i s-said all that--

Y'ain't gotta apologize fer bein' mad. I get it. Ya were in a scary situation, an' hearin' that I never even tried ta find ya when this whole thing was my damn fault ta start with? I'd a been pissed, too.

...s-still though... ...it was s-so insensitive...

It ain't like y'all knew any a this at the time. It's fine.

...how did you get out??...

Heh, that's where shit gets real interestin'.

They kept me at that camp fer half a sweep torturin' me, but I held on. I dunno why they didn't just cull my stubborn ass a long time ago. My guess is cuz Mister wanted the satisfaction a breakin' me cuz ain't no one else been this much a a challenge fer him fer so long. If he let them cull me, it ain't a real win. But eventually he reached the end a his patience with me.

I managed ta get a hold a a fork an' taunted Mister 'til he grabbed me 'round the throat an' got right in my face ta threaten me. I stabbed him in the eye an' tried ta make a break fer the exit while he was screamin' an' cursin' an' bleedin'. A course, I didn't make it nowhere close ta the door 'fore I got caught. Mister was fumin' somethin' fierce, and I didn't even get a chance ta register what he was about ta do 'fore everythin' just became blindin' pain.

I remember one a the supervisors cussin' him out cuz they was plannin' on sendin' me ta The Pit, an' now I ain't in no condition ta be transferred. That fucker cut me open from rib ta hip with a dagger. I spent nights in the infirmary tryin' ta get stabilized an' patched up. I was so weak from bein' starved an' beat on a regular basis that I almost died.

But like I said, I'm the most stubborn bitch ever hatched. I was able ta recover enough ta get my stitches out, but after they they decided ta cut their losses and finally cull me. Mister wanted ta do the honors himself. After what I did ta him, he didn't care about winnin' no more. He wanted me dead. He filled a tub full a water, threw me in, an' held me down with his foot while I thrashed an' tried ta free myself 'fore I drowned. Eventually I lost consciousness.

I woke up chokin' on water an' hackin' the shit out my lungs in the middle a the forest. I figured they dumped my body fer the undead an' the animals ta eat once I blacked out. I didn't know where I was or how ta get back home, an' I was fuckin' scared. But I was free after half a sweep in captivity, an' that was more important than bein' afraid. I picked a direction an' started walkin'.

I didn't have no way a huntin' ta feed myself, an' I was still fuckin' weak as shit, so I didn't eat much a nothin' 'cept whatever bugs an' small animals I was able ta catch. I had ta sleep up in trees durin' the day ta avoid the roamin' undead. Eventually between the hunger an' bein' exhausted all the time, I dropped.

Next thing I know, I'm wakin' up in a hive belongin' ta some li'l jade even younger'n me sayin' him an' his lusus found me. I was still a ornery li'l shit an' wasn't exactly a good hiveguest. He still helped me an' everythin' though. Kept me fed, gave me a place ta sleep. Once I was mostly healed an' had my strength back, I robbed him blind an' ran. Took every piece an' scrap a food I could carry, stole a couple knives, an' I was off. I'd prolly apologize ta him if I ever see him again, not that I remember what he even looked like, an' I'm sure he don't remember me or wouldn't recognize me now.

I spent the next half sweep doin' whatever I could ta survive an' try ta find my way home. I stole, I killed, I broke inta hives, I did whatever I had ta do ta make it ta the next night. When I finally made it hive after that half a sweep, my pa was there waitin' fer me. He waited fer a whole sweep fer me ta come back instead a takin' in a new charge. I bawled the hardest I ever have in my life. Makes me feel extra shitty that I can't go back an' say my goodbyes ta him. He's prolly still waitin' fer me ta come back just like I did last time I went missin'.

...if you want... i can ask dantli to go to your hive and tell your lusus you arent coming back... ...i dont think hes on anyones radar s-since he doesnt s-socialize... ...i can tell him to make it look like he's robbing you s-so they dont get s-suspicious... and itll be a convenient way to get s-some of your things for you...

That ain't a bad idea. S'long as he don't say nothin' stupid'r incriminatin', that could work.

Anyway, speakin' a going back hive, when I finally made it back ta mine after my sweep in Hell, I couldn't function fer shit. I didn't wanna reach out ta my friends cuz I didn't want 'em ta see how broken I was. I didn't wanna look weak ta them, an' none a them reached out anyhow. In just that one sweep, they moved on from me, which still kinda hurts ta know that's all it took ta lose 'em.

Fer perigees after, I'd have daymares a bein' back at the slave camp, weak an' in pain with Mister standin' over me with the whip, then draggin' me out ta the post. I was barely gettin' any sleep, I couldn't eat, an' I was terrified a bein' in water. That's when I decided ta start bulkin' up an' gettin' stronger so I couldn't be taken back there or anywhere else.

Fer three sweeps, I had the mother grub a anxiety. A lotta nights, I couldn't even get the nerve ta leave my hive. I'd get anxiety attacks an' panic attacks when I saw highbloods, 'specially male blues. An' y'all know me. When I start gettin' anxious, I get real mad an' itchin' fer a fight. Even now, I don't hate highblood s'much as I get anxiety bein' around 'em. An' I do also hate 'em.

That's when I started drinkin'. It wasn't about gettin' drunk. It was a way ta calm my frazzled nerves an' keep my anxiety under control. Over time, though, it turned inta a addiction, an' y'all know how well that ended up workin' out fer me in the end.

That's basically everythin' about my childhood, so believe me when I say I know exactly what it's like ta not know if yer gonna live ta see another night, an' cryin' yerself ta sleep durin' the day cuz everythin's so awful, an' prayin' that yer loved ones ain't next or won't be too tore up if ya don't survive.

...i... im s-so s-sorry... ...no one s-should have to endure that... especially not a child... ...i... i...

C'mon now, y'ain't gotta cry about it. It sucks, but it's in the past now, an' fallin' ta pieces over it ain't gon' fix nothin'.

...i... i know... but...

It's okay, I get it. If it'll make ya feel better, go ahead an' cry it out. I can hold ya if ya want.

...but arent you s-still sore?...

Not so sore I can't comfort my pale. It ain't gon' kill me, so get yer li'l cryin' sniffly self over here.

[not-poignant]

im currently obsessed with stain and i'm curious about how much sebastian actually knows about alexs past/childhood?

anyways this fic is incredible, alex/sebastian has always been one of my favorite pairings and u write them so beautifully <3

Hi hi hi,

Hmmm, I would say Sebastian doesn't actually know that much, while kind of knowing the overall themes/broad view.

Sebastian has like...a child's perspective on what Alex lived through. Because he learned about it as a child, and it stayed static in his mind. It's only now that he's really seeing what that means as an adult (Alex's reactions to anger, violence and yelling, for example).

But...when you're a kid in a secret-keeping small town - at least sometimes - you don't learn things in an 'adult way.' You learn them as a child. You might see another kid's parent with bruises and be like 'Mom, did she fall down' and the Mom might go 'I think she has a hard time at home honey. But shh, it's rude to talk about this stuff.' You might see Alex's Dad and think he looks mean. Sometimes your Mom might even shepherd you away, and say things like 'He's a very grumpy man' without saying what that manes. You might know another parent going through cancer treatment, and your own parent might say 'Alex's Mom is really sick, and she might die soon, and that's sad.'

Sebastian has no reason to...challenge that as a child, your world is how your parents describe it to you. And as he got older, I doubt he revisited much of that, especially as a teenager who perceived himself as the victim of Alex's bullying. He probably just thought 'like father, like son' without ever thinking about what that really means.

As an adult, Sebastian's had time to start knocking against some of these structures. Like he went from believing Alex was selfish and ungenerous to realising that Alex had done so much for his grandparents without telling a single soul about it, thanks to Harvey. He's realised that Alex has real issues with other people's anger, and that he believes himself to be stupid, and that he has no value. Through perceiving these things, he can start to make links back to these thin stories he was told and believed as a child, and those stories begin to grow and carry weight.

Because there's such a big difference between 'Alex's Mom might die' and the reality that Alex is really good at cleaning because that was just...how he dealt with the tragedies life gave him. There's a really big difference between 'she has a hard time at home honey' and Alex being afraid of men with authority, and having an involuntary PTSD/fear response around loud anger.

One of the reasons Sebastian is so slow to learn this stuff is partly because he did know Alex as a child and picked up all the weird, evasive ways parents share things with children in secretive towns, which minimise, hide, and obfuscate the truth. So he doesn't have the benefit of learning 'fresh' - in a way he has to knock down everything his parents taught him, and put up new structures that show reality as it is, and y'know, Sebastian's still pretty young, and he doesn't know a ton about PTSD, he's never had to deal with a violent parent, he's never watched someone get sick and die. He is actually pretty naive to a lot of Alex's experiences.

Sebastian's empathy and ability to be compassionate towards Alex grows all the time, but it's like...chip damage rather than some momentous 'oh my god' moment. Because he's got years of layered semi-misinformation from his own parent/s, and other schoolkids his age, to wade through first. So instead we get lots of little moments of Sebastian recalibrating, and becoming more open to reality.

In some ways this is a story that also interrogates the role that small towns or secret-keeping mindsets in towns can really contribute to the isolation, damage, and continuing abuse of individuals within that town. The reality is abusers are everywhere, but abusers can't abuse if everyone feels safe and able to talk about it with people they trust.

The fact that Alex's Mom - and Alex - could never do that, is a failure of the entire town, and not just Alex's Dad. Sometimes in realising that Alex was going through something horrendous, you have to realise your Mom and Dad did absolutely fuck all about it, while knowing it was happening and that's... that's why Sebastian both hasn't known much, and is slowly picking up more and more with time!