#can you tell i've thought about them too much

[kianamaiart]

Do you think “Moon Sailor” was a bit, on the nose?

it was intended to be! i made the pilot while keeping in mind that the magical girl genre is actually somewhat niche

i wanted to make sure people like my parents or my girlfriend's law school peers or people who don't watch anime at all could easily follow and understand what's going on. if i asked my parents to name a magical girl anime, they'd be like "what is that" but if i asked them what sailor moon was, they'd be like "oh yeah i've seen those characters before!" sailor moon undoubtedly iconic and people IMMEDIATELY know what it is upon hearing it. "moon sailor" is VERY OBVIOUSLY a parody of that so it's easy to get in that one second of time i have before moving on.

the tricky thing about doing a pilot is the setup and the trickier thing about doing a SUBVERSIVE pilot is that you have to set up what you're subverting on top of everything else. that's why zira's dialogue and language is also a bit expository and on the nose during the "gasp" part. there are people watching who don't know the magical girl genre and its tropes! like how is someone supposed to know that aika anticlimactically poofing into her magical form was a joke if they didn't even know that a magical girl transformation was SUPPOSED to happen? i thought i spelled out hoshi's whole thing pretty well or didn't really need to go that into it but i saw a lot of people confused about what they were and why they were there at all (until zira tells us that they're a magical mascot).

back to "moon sailor," it's a silly one off joke meant to quickly signal to the audience that zira likes manga/anime and the magical girl genre specifically as well as circumvent copyright. i also personally just like on the nose bits hahaha. like on big city greens whenever we parody a brand we usually just put a "B" in front of it. one of my favorite being "blego blocks"

this turned into unsolicited writing advice and definitely more than what you asked for but i hope its helpful to anyone out there looking to make their own shows!! clarity, spelling stuff out and sometimes handholding is important especially in a pilot. even though it can feel stilted sometimes, it's better than completely losing your audience or leaving them with questions. but now that the pilot's done it's job, any following episodes i might make will be unburdened by too much expository language haha

[invoncible]

How about Mark variants with a Cecil daughter reader? Thought it would be an interesting idea

VARIANTS!MARK GRAYSON & stedman! reader ✧˚. cw. canon typical violence/themes (ex. cannibalism)

you were your father's right hand. the perfect blend of danger and kindness, you were a rare bridge between the younger members of the guardians and the older guys at the GDA, your father included.

when the war started, it was unlike anything the earth encountered before and beyond what any country was prepared for. the GDA struggled to corral one invincible—a dozen was just overkill. if humanity did not have their indomitable spirit, surely governments would just lay down and die.

but not your dad and certainly not 🗣️🦅🤠 AMERICA 🗣️🦅🏈🗽!

so you were sent out into the field. unfortunately, you were getting the sense that they knew you... and weren't so kind to you in their dimensions...

"lookie here," mohawk mark grinned fearsomely as he floated above you. "little stedman. man, it's been so long since i've seen your face."

"why's that?" you cocked your gun, standing before him without a tense bone in your body. if cecil taught you anything, it was how to fake it til you make it.

"killed ya," he sang teasingly. "personally broke you in half for being a fucking pest. you were almost as annoying as your old man."

"mm." you hummed, ignoring the feeling of dread in your stomach. your father might have taught you to stand strong, but there was just something about staring death in the face that made a person anxious.

there was a high chance you could die here. they've all done it once before, apparently. great.

the other marks gathered over the original mark's residence. you were supposed to gather debbie and oliver, but intel was faulty and they had fled on their own. good for them, bad for you.

omnimark paused, studying you as he drew closer. his red cape wafted in the wind as he descended. it would have been majestic if he wasn't, you know... a murderer.

"i know you well enough to read you like a book. i can tell you're scared." onmimark observed you, swirling around you inquisitively.

this was bullshit. they were just playing with their food at this point, hovering around you like vultures too impatient to wait for your death.

"i call dibs," sinister shoved past omnimark, his lips curling into a salivating grin. "you were most delicious back home."

startled by the notion, you blinked and snapped, "what?"

"yeah. i ate you."

"what the fuck—"

"can it." prison mark bulldozed through his peers, aggravated by the chatter. "i'm the only one who hasn't got to kill them yet."

"so?" mohawk mark scoffed and rolled his eyes.

you shook your head, shrugging off your nerves and stepped back. aiming your gun directly between his skull, you tried to dismiss the condescending expression that you were faced with.

mohawk mark chuckled and walked forward, bending at the waist and pressing his forehead right up against the barrel.

"shoot me," he said lowly, a big smirk on his face. the more he looked at you, the more he saw the shake of your eyes, the more excited he got. it's been a while since he's gotten so much thrill from a kill, and you were the most thrilling of all. "you know you can't hurt me."

you glared at him, phasing out of sight in an instant. mark's eyes widened in faint surprise when you vanished.

you teleported directly to their sides, gun aiming down the canal of their ears. praying for all the strength and accuracy in the world, you let eight precise bullets fly, blasting their way down through their suits and into their ears.

they all stumbled through the air at the impact, shaking their head like maracas to locate the bullet.

"dumb bunny," mohawk mark snarled, brushing the blood from his nose as he grimaced in discomfort. "told you, you can't hurt us."

"i see their stupidity transcends dimensions," viltrumite mark commented plainly. he shook his head to one side in an attempt to dislodge the bullet like he was getting pool water out of his ear.

you swallowed a shaky breath and set your stance, whipping out the control for the implants. you hoped they were able to worm their way deep inside like you programmed them to.

"those aren't regular bullets, dickheads." you snapped, bringing your thumb down on the red button.

the piercing shrill of the underwater kaiju that disarmed the original mark rang through the air, pulsing into their skulls painfully. their flight stuttered before dropping completely, collapsing to the ground like flies. they clawed at their heads uselessly as the grating shriek made them go stupid.

you huffed a laugh when they all keeled over, in disbelief you managed to pull it off. then you just laughed for the hell of it. who's invincible now?

you could talk shit like your father; you just hoped his tendency to get his balls rocked right after he ran his mouth didn't pass on to you.

"big mistake leaving me breathing," you activated the dead man's switch and brought your foot down on the controller, smashing it to little pieces. "you had your chance to kill me. now it's my turn."

© invoncible

[sularis]

God, what have I gotten myself into.

I have never run this fast. Even back when I was on my school's running team, I've never been able to reach this speed. Maybe then I was too young, or maybe now I have somehow more energy? Doesn't matter. That's not something I should be thinking about in the face of death.

Since leaving my old job, I've been getting stalked. I don't know by who, but I have my suspicion. They have enough power to have me whipped off the face of this earth, but instead they resort to terrorising every facet of my existence. I think I realise now that if they will kill me in that way, it won't be questioned. I gave them my medical report. They know about my heart condition. And now, they know how to use it to their advantage.

I'm a whistleblower for one of the largest food companies in the whole country. Soon, though, I might be found dead in a ditch. Or not found at all.

As I'm running with all I have, I hear the voice of my roommate; it rings clearly in my mind: "A walk won't do you any harm and the fresh air may cool your nerves." Now I wonder if she was in on this whole thing as well. Everything that she has said to me returns in an instant, I think I could easily pinpoint the day she could've received an offer to off me. Should've trusted my gut. Should've known that no one will be on my side when the other is offering them money for my life.

I got out of my apartment complex while it was still quite bright outside. The sun was slowly going down, but I believed that if I returned home before it got dark, nothing too bad would happen. Nobody could attack me, because someone could see me, right?

I don't know how long I ran, but I know I ended up outside my city somehow. That sure is some distance. The place I was in now was full of trees and only a singular road was crossing this forest. It was very dark already and I suspect that the person who was after me now is in the car that sped towards me a moment ago.

It didn't take me long to realise I was being followed; it took me longer to finally think I lost whoever was after me. Until he leaped at me from a side alley and almost stabbed my chest. I'm so grateful that out of all the responses, I got the "flight" instead of "freeze". Never would I suspect that the moment I started running would prolong for this amount of time and distance. He started running after me, but disappeared soon after, only to reappear somewhere else, where I didn't expect it. It could've been more than one person, but in my panic I couldn't see clearly.

They never stopped pursuing me. And I never stopped running.

Even now, as the terrain gets more unpredictable and I can't tell a tree from a person and any sound is ten times louder, I don't stop running. I don't and I can't. Because if I stop, I won't live to see the next day.

I don't know if anyone is behind me, I don't see any lights, nor do I hear any steps. Maybe I could hide somewhere? Only now I start feeling the exhaustion, but I can't stop, no. I can't let me be killed like that. Not tonight. Not ever.

The moon has come up. Lucky me, I can see what's before me. The trees are much clearer and I can avoid them easier. I can search for places to hide. I might survive and not collapse.

Unlucky me. The moon is out. I am seen in it too.

There's a small clearing in front of me, and a watch tower in the middle of it. I could run ad hide there. I shake that thought off immediately. I will be seen, so easy to spot. Need somewhere else. I am so, so tired.

My legs start to shake as I slow down. Please not now. All of the trees are thin, the bushes won't hide me if they have torches. I don't see lights behind me, though. I'm barely walking, everything hurts. Suddenly, a large tree trunk, I can see it close to me. There seems to be an opening there. I need to get inside but I can hardly move. I must've sprained an ankle because it hurts to walk so bad.

I'm about to reach it, and safety, when I hear something. The leaves are rustling. It isn't windy. Whether it was an animal or not, I'm not risking it. I start running again, through the pain, through the tears streaming down my eyes. I'm once again reaching speed I never thought I could reach. Like a deer I traverse the forest that I never was in before. I don't let my imagination let any more creeps scare me, I've enough of them trailing me and then--

I fall. Face first into the forest floor. The ankle, that I thought was sprained, hurts so much more right now. The pain is so horrid that it doesn't register at first fully. I'm disoriented, but the pain is clear and it's sharp and oozing. Warm and cold. Do I even have my foot still?

Finally, I reach down to see what's going on. I feel cold metal on my fingertips and some liquid on it. Oh, it's so clear now. A bear trap. That's how I die.

I try to move my leg, but the trap is chained to a tree nearby. Breaking free would be nearly impossible in this condition. I'm so tired, I lay on the ground battling sleep when I hear rustling again. I can't move, this is my death. With all my might I crawl and cling to the tree that will accompany me in the last moments I'm alive. I will die here, either of blood loss or whatever the man chasing me will do with me.

I'm struggling to do anything. Breathe. Look before me. Not sleep. It all feels like an impossible task. May the death come sooner? I'm starting to get cold.

Hugging the tree, I feel something in my jacket. Right, my phone. And wallet for whatever reason. I wanted to buy myself a drink before I returned from my walk, but currently, it feels silly to have it with me in my last moments.

My phone is useless here too. Nobody, who once cared about me, does any more. Family is long gone, further relatives got paid to forget me. So did my friends. Roommate. Before police would find me here I'd already be decaying. I'm doomed, and nobody sees it as a loss.

Suddenly, a thought flashes through my brain. Many of them, honestly, the life I led is playing for me and somehow it feels like a short film. One of the memories is important. A girl at the bar, piece of paper, numbers...

Wallet. Oh, how I beg it is still there.

I search through every pocket in my wallet as the memory plays on. "Here you go" she said "Use it whenever you like. Whatever you'll need will be answered if you call it." I thought she was flirting. "Don't take it for granted, girl. It might save your life one day."

I found it. The numbers are as clear as day. I check around, looking for movement. Nothing. I check my phone. It's half way charged. I thank God silently as I put the number in and hit the call button. I put it to the ear closer to the tree, I need the other one to hear threats approaching.

Calling....

There's signal!

One....

Two....

Three....

Pick up. Pick up whoever you were, girl. Pick up.

Four....

Suddenly, it connects. There's silence on the other side. Then a hesitant:

-... Hello?

It is not a woman's voice. Doesn't matter. I breathe is shakily, my throat feels on fire. I need to talk.

-I need help. Please.

I don't know how I said it, but it resulted in another while of silence.

-What's going on? How did you get this number?

He sounds serious. Did I annoy him? I need him to help me.

-A girl at a bar. She gave it to me... years. Years ago. I don't know why she gave me yours, but it doesn't matter. I need your help. I might die soon if I don't...

I sound pathetic. Begging for help from a total stranger. What did my life come to? My voice broke and the tears nearly chocked me before I could finish my sentence.

-Die? What? Is this a joke?

-No, I swear. Please don't be mad and don't end it. I'm sorry but this is the only number I could call. There's someone after me. He's been chasing me from the city and into the forest I'm in now. I need help. I can't run any longer. I'm trapped. Please, please, don't hang up. Please help me.

He didn't respond. I heard his breathing, though.

-Please....

I cried. I just needed him to stay with me. Even if he couldn't help, all I needed was for him to stay on the call. To be there with me. So I wouldn't die alone, forgotten.

-Where are you right now?

His voice. It was much gentler. I still sobbed.

-Forest. North of Tulan. The right side of it from the street.

-Tulan....

He repeated quietly.

-Are they still after you?

-I don't know... They tried to run me over with their car... I ran into the forest but I don't know if they went after me. I'm alone now, though...

He sighed heavily. I heard a mechanical keyboard in the background. Was he typing something?

-Are you hurt? Will you be able to hold on for a while longer?

-My leg's in a bear trap... I'm tired and cold, but otherwise fine.

-Bear trap?... Oh, I've got it.

He sounded so sure. Does he know where to find me? Is he sending help?

-Prepare the men and the helicopter.

Was there someone else with him? Helicopter? Who did I contact?

-The help is coming. Hang in there and don't fall asleep before you hear us coming.

Us? Is he coming too? Will they find me before my pursuers?

-Thank you...

I mutter before the call ends. And once again I am alone. Everything is quiet and I wonder if that's how death is. I wait in anticipation but there's no new sounds. I don't hear a helicopter for sure. The minutes drag out and I'm feeling worse than before. Please find me sooner than the Reaper.

Now that I'm alone with my thoughts again... Wasn't his voice familiar? I've had to heard it before, but where?

I hear rustling. Steps. Breaking branches. Chatter. I cling closer to my tree. My only solace right now.

It's getting closer. There's light appearing. There's more of them than necessary to kill me. I close my eyes and make myself smaller. Maybe they won't find me in the shadows. I feel the bright light suddenly falling on me and a loud yell right after.

-She's here! Get the medic!

Medic? Is it...?

I open my eyes slowly, getting them used to the light as I hear more footsteps coming towards me. Some are approaching faster than the other.

-Oh, thank God.

I hear a sigh of relief coming from a person in front of me. It's the same voice I heard through my phone. It's much clearer now and I recognise it much quicker. It's much more... soft, than how I hear it usually.

I can't see the person well. I know who he is. He approaches me with someone else. The other person immediately examinates my leg. All while the man I know, more or less, wraps a warm blanket around me and crouches to my side.

-How's it look like?

He asks the medic. His voice, it's... soothing, yet strikes concern, fear maybe, it's much different than when it's directed towards me. It's one of a ruler. The one in control.

-It's not good. Sprained and now this. We need to take her to our ward.

The response wasn't of a fearful subordinate. It was of a professional working alongside someone trust worthy, reliable. It was of someone who wasn't treated like a pawn, but a friend, colleague, someone who knew whatever he said would be taken seriously.

-That's what I thought.

The man muttered. I could see much clearer now. His hair is shorter than I remember. Sharp pain strikes my ankle again. I curl up and grit my teeth to deal with it. A groan escapes my mouth and tears well up in my eyes again. I breathe in and out, trying to ease it somehow. The trap is off and the wound was treated with a disinfectant.

Then I feel something else. His hand grabs mine. It's grip is strong, but not crushing. It's comforting. I finally start feeling safe. It's the first time in months that I do.

In no time my leg is bandaged and secured. He ordered his men to get something to transport me safely to his helicopter. It's apparently parked in the clearing. Clear in sight. How far must I have ran from it that I couldn't hear the machine approaching?

Everyone else is busy with something else. The medic went back with others to pick up the right gear. I'm exhausted. I feel myself falling, slipping away, before I gently land on something soft, stable, warm. I can finally relax, I feel. I don't think I can think of anything right now. I feel right, though.

I'm safe and I feel that. I close my eyes against my better judgement. I don't notice the man is looking right at me. I don't feel his arm wrapping around me and pulling me closer. I don't feel his hand gently wiping my wet cheek. Neither do I hear him ask me:

-What the fuck have you gotten into, Carrie?

He doesn't expect me to answer. At least for now. But he'll know soon, and that'll make a change in his life. And mine. And it won't ever be changed back.

You met a girl at a bar who gave you a number. Turns out, she has a superpower; Any number she gives out to others turns into the number they needed to call the most. You call it, and it forwards you to the most powerful supervillain in the world.

[rosierin]

smack me like you'd spike a volleyball │ atsumu, osamu, suna

synopsis: title is self explanatory i fear

a/n; guys idk. sometimes an idea pops into my head and i just feel compelled to share it

anyway enjoy this pure brainrot

this fic is part of the off-season quartet™ series! for more, click here :p

(Y/n) hummed, idly scrolling through her phone. “Y’know, I’ve always wondered…”

Atsumu, from across the room, barely looked up from his drink. “That’s dangerous.”

(Y/n) ignored him. “‘Smack my ass like you spike a volleyball’—how hard would that actually be?”

Atsumu choked on his drink. “What!?”

"You heard me," (y/n) said, voice comically serious.

After composing himself a little, Atsumu actually— like actually pondered her words.

"Ya know, I've had a fan tweet that at me before and I don’t think they realise how painful that would be.”

Suna, who had been listening in on the entire conversation, eventually piped up, without so much as a blink. “Isn’t that the point?”

Atsumu pressed on, his tone almost urgent. “No. No, I mean, that shit would really hurt.”

(Y/n) shrugged, then stood up. “Okay, let’s try.”

Atsumu nearly dropped his cup. “You want me to smack yer ass??”

(Y/n) deadpanned. “No, you clown. Slap my hand like you’d spike a volleyball and I’ll tell you if it hurts.”

Atsumu stared at her, then at her outstretched hand, then back at her face. “Are ya sure?”

“Yeah.”

“This is really gonna hurt.”

“Stop stalling and slap me already!”

Atsumu groaned, stretching his wrist like he was warming up for Nationals. “Jesus. Alright, woman. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”

That was the moment Osamu walked into the room.

He took one look at the scene—(y/n) standing there, hand out, Atsumu poised to slap her like he was about to serve match point in the Olympics.

Osamu blinked. “What is happening.”

Suna barely contained his smirk. “(Y/n) is asking Atsumu to slap her.”

Osamu’s stare turned exponentially more judgmental. “…What.”

Suna shrugged but didn't question it. “Dunno either.”

Atsumu waved a hand at them, then jerked a thumb at (y/n). “Hey, don’t look at me, she’s the freak here.”

Osamu sighed, rubbing his temples like this wasn’t even in his top ten weirdest experiences with them. Meanwhile, Suna casually pulled out his phone, thumb hovering over the record button.

(Y/n) rolled her shoulders, steeling herself. “Alright. Moment of truth. Hit me.”

Osamu groaned. “Tsumu, don’t actually hit her—”

Too late.

A loud, cracking smack sliced through the air as Atsumu swung his hand full force against (y/n)’s palm. The sheer impact made the sound echo off the walls.

(Y/n) immediately yanked her hand back, shaking it out furiously. “OW—”

Atsumu looked horrified. “I TOLD YOU, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT—”

(Y/n) fanned her stinging palm. “MY HAND BURNS.”

Osamu stared at them in pure disappointment before shaking his head and walking straight out of the room like he was clocking out of their nonsense.

Meanwhile, Suna, still filming, zoomed in dramatically on (y/n)’s face. “Well?”

(Y/n) flexed her fingers, pain still written over her features. “That actually hurt way more than I thought it would.”

Atsumu scoffed. “I am a literal professional athlete, what on earth did you expect?”

Suna panned his camera to Atsumu. “Subtle flex.”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes, still shaking her hand. “Okay, athlete. Anyway, I can now confirm that your fangirls do NOT want to get spanked like a volleyball.”

Suna stopped recording, nodding sagely. “Amen.”

Osamu’s voice drifted from the hallway. “Y'all need therapy.”

A beat of silence.

Atsumu grinned at (y/n), waggling his eyebrows. “‘Kay, now turn around, babe. S'time to try out the real deal."

Suna immediately hit record again.

(Y/n) screeched and protected her precious backside.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT.”

[northopalshore]

Jupiter in the

Midheaven persona chart

Jupiter in the Midheaven persona chart tells you about what people adore & respect you for most for i.e your biggest influence in terms of your professional or public appearance. The degree or sign it's in may also tell you what about your career that is revered or celebrated. All content seen here was accumulated through my personal observation. Please do not copy my work ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠`⁠ʔฅ🔉

Masterlist| MC Persona Chart masterlist | Venus persona chart masterlist

🪷 Aries (°1,°13,°25) | 1st House

Your rough & tough personality, your no bullshit principle of life & that brazen attitude of yours is what people respect most about you. While some may sugar coat their lives and experiences to make it look pretty or more tolerant, you don't. You're loud, proud & take pride in your ways/experiences and what you've been through. People will respect your struggle and will to survive however you did. Or even just by saying or doing shit nobody else will do. You are raw & truly show yourself as is (albeit quite boldly even if sometimes you share.. too much). You are proud of yourself & do not filter your personality for anything or anyone & that's what people respect. You're a do-er, and most times actions do speak louder than words.

Ex: Cardi B has Jupiter Libra (°13 Aries) in her 4th house. I think she's a great example to give. You definitely see how her fans respect her authenticity & her flaws. Though some people see her as "loud & annoying" those that pay attention know that she's more than that. She's authentic, sweet & can call out bullshit/unfairness when she sees it. She's also vulnerable with her fans & in interviews. She's also notably a mother and has been very outward (sticking to it) on that in recent years.

🪷 Taurus (°2,°14,°26) | 2nd House

Your confidence, sense of responsibility & humility is a highlight of your public image. You may also be very vocal about self love or women's rights & people really connect with that. Your opinion is highly valued , and that groundedness you possess easily allows you to reach people. People find it easy to trust you & depend on you. People also respect you for your ability to put out the right words to move them, or even just move yourself! You are resilient and smart, especially when it comes to expressing yourself through the things you have. People with this placement also make great business owners (& may be respected for that as well). This placement is also good for writers & artists (those that are in journalism or where they speak/write about real experiences) in terms of reputation.

Ex: Namjoon is well known for being the leader of BTS. He has Jupiter (°14 Taurus) in Scorpio the 6th house. Aside from his leadership position in BTS, he is also a man with a good down to earth image. Didn't he accidentally create a "core" what was it. Namjooning? I heard that he wasn't fond of it though; because it felt like he was being commercialized for his lifestyle almost. I've seen some clips of interviews where Namjoon would always hold down the fort for the rest of the guys. He's also known for that mature sensibility he has. His thoughts are also very (aside from the freaky side of him heard through his music lol).

🪷 Gemini (°3,°15,°27) | 3rd House

People adore you for your voice or your writing. Your entertaining personality, your sense of humor and your ability to vocalize your intentions well. For that, people think you are smart and funny. You ask deeper questions, and challenge the people's thoughts/opinions. People adore how well-read & knowledgeable you are! Those with these placements usually are writers, actors or educators (or their job requires them to work with words, teaching or putting their thoughts out there). People adore the things you share or say/ write & even just how you talk in the professional world (under public perception)If you are an actor, you'll find that your lines are quotable due to the fun or catchy quality it has. While Taurus's words are based on experience & gut feeling, yours is based on intuition & research most of the time.

Ex: Marilyn Monroe has Jupiter (°22 Capricorn) in Pisces 3rd house. Though people did mistake her for being the dumb blond stereotype, she was in fact a very intelligent & progressive thinking woman. Especially considering the 50s were still extremely conservative. She has earned a lot of respect for both her beauty & brains.

🪷 Cancer (°4,°16,°28) | 4th House

People find you very emotionally intelligent, and find a lot of comfort within you. People may see you as a mother or a female figure (or just a comforting presence) in their life. They adore how despite the pain or tough experiences you've been through, you still remain kind, generous and open to other people. Being strong in your own way. People also adored your femininity, and reassuring energy. You are not afraid to be emotional, to share your feelings and that vulnerability and people respect you for that. Also, this can make people emotionally invest in you as well or connect with you emotionally. Makes people very fond of you too from what I've seen.

Ex: Markiplier has Jupiter in Cancer (°1 Aries) in the 11th house! Which explains his deep connection with his viewers and reputation for being a softie (there are lots of videos of him crying while expressing his love & gratitude for his supporters). I remember stumbling on one of his older videos in the past, I can't remember the title.. was it I believe in you? Or you can do it? Whenever he opens up, it just feels comforting. You get that intimate feel & know it's coming from the heart. Why? That Aries degree is a no bullshit degree (which also explains the big brute/act first think later tough guy part of him as well that equally adored).

🪷 Leo (°5,°17,°29) | 5th House

You are most respected & likely also adored for your endurance. Aside from your looks, aesthetics and sex appeal of course. Leo's original traits really shine with this placement, you are able to take a lot of pressure & hits and still come out stronger than ever. No matter what industry you are in or what you do for a living, people may look at you as a source of inspiration or "model worker" due to your independence, practicality & creativity. Even in the most mundane job ever, you do it best or give it your all and people can see that.

Ex: The best example I can give you for this placement is Taylor Swift. She has Jupiter in Leo (°2 Taurus) in the 11th house. Aside from her genius lyricism, you cannot deny that what she's MOSt respected & adored for is her positive, resilient nature. People used to talk a lot of shit about her in the past though she did have her own right to a couple crash outs, but in the end she always found a way to get through it & come out better than before.

Also, Christian Yu has Jupiter (°3 Gemini ) in Leo hehe~ if you're familiar with DPR, you'll know. Please look him up! This manifested a bit later for him in general, even though it was definitely there before; it's like redoing things that you've done in the past & giving it new life. Which to me explains that retrograde of his.

🪷 Virgo (°6,°18) | 6th House

Your humble personality, your regime, your hard work & long-term efforts is something that you will gain a lot of respect for. People see that you are one with the things that you do, mind body and soul. Nothing that you do is made for the sake of fun, but rather to achieve something & that is very commendable. You are a perfectionist, and often become the people's support i.e the person everyone runs to for help or advice. People respect how trustworthy & reliable you are. When your assistance is needed, you will always show up or at least show them the right way to do it. Expect to see this pop up in the charts of self made individuals, those that actually deserve their place wherever they are (& quite possibly deserve more than that too). The only downside is that you might get overworked, because you're the person everyone runs to when they need something. If people lose track of what to do, they just hand it over to you lol.

🪷 Libra (°7,°19) | 7th House

People often admire you for your charming, fair personality & looks. It's your agreeable attitude when going about life and how you carry yourself when it comes to your presence. You are the type to "do the right thing" a lot and have a good sense of morals & do not tolerate injustices. Surprisingly this shows that you are more attached to activism ( which is usually seen with Aquarius but not this time around apearantly). Your romantic nature, your love life and sensuality is something people adore or respect about you. In some way, it's your pursuit or romanticism that charms people your way. You could also be respected because of your connections with certain people; your company, business, contract, or even literally your marriage/spouse.

Ex: Prince is a prime example for this in my opinion. Jupiter (°27 Gemini ) in Libra the 4th. His rendezvous with the women he adored also contributed to this adoration as he is not shallow or artificial when it comes to love, sensuality & expression. He was a smart, man with a purpose; there was weight in the things he said & not to mention he knew/mastered how to play multiple instruments & different sounds/genres. Sometimes different genres in the same album or same song! I think he will forever remain iconic in that sense. Many people were fond of him and connected with him on both an intellectual & emotional level and that gained him a lot of respect. Purple Rain is still a sexy staple! Trust me, just watch the musical & you'll get why he's perfect for this example!!

For that spouse or connections part (because hell no am I calling him attractive), there is no better example than Jay-Z . He has Jupiter in Libra (°26 Taurus) 2nd house. I know he's most respected for his business & brand. & ehem, he's literally married to BEYONCÉ wtf. Both of them are powerhouses and that only elevates people's adoration/respect for him. Aside from his very interesting connections (who were also, in fact influential in their own way regardless of their controversy o course). You can't deny that he is a brand that will never leave the celebrity world.

Kim Kardashian has Jupiter (°15 Gemini) in Libra in the 2nd house . Out of all the Kardashians, she has the most iconic lines in the family. She's also a proud woman, a business woman & has been studying law since 2018. Despite her controversy, she is still respected for her eye for business & her powerful connections and just her as a brand. Also, she was most noticeable as Kanye's wife (or rather ex-wife at the moment). She definitely did the right thing ngl.

Guess who also has this? Jungkook. Hah. He has Jupiter (°12 Pisces ) in Aquarius in the 7th house. He is mostly associated with BTS for a large portion of his life & that part will never leave him even if they no longer produce music together in the future. That's part of his legacy. Though, you can expect to see him with his wife in the future but working in a different way (not really leaning into how he did it before) I don't think he'll be "on stage" much after marriage but present in a different way. Side note, but I thought it was funny how both he & Cristian Ronaldo have almost the same Jupiter placement; Aquarius Jupiter (°7 Libra) in the 12th.

🪷 Scorpio (°8,°20) | 8th House

You are most adored for your powerful presence & untouchable energy. In some cases, this could be tied to rap or raw sexual charm. You have a very addictive personality and ability to make anything a "hot item". People may think that you possess a very exclusive energy as well and being able to be in your circle makes them feel lucky or better by association. This placement could mean your ability to be bold (dgaf energy), influence, rap or "control" over something often leaves people in awe of you. You are a force to be reckoned with & people know that. People with this placement change the game in any industry they are in while many others respect it, you also gain very passionate haters/jealousy as well.

Ex: Both Jennie Jupiter in Capricorn (°8 Scorpio) 12th house & Beyoncé Jupiter in Scorpio (°0) 6th house, have Jupiter in Scorpio/Scorpio degree. Both are undoubtedly amended for their powerful stage performances and hypnotizing influence over their respective industry.

Michael Jackson & I have the same placement for Jupiter (°20 Scorpio & °8 degree respectively) in Scorpio 4th house! MJ is a power house when it comes to his career. He had the ability to make anyone & everyone obsessed with him. That power, drive & energy gained him word-wide respect. Also he is known for being a sweetheart, with an innocence rarely ever seen in the industry & always had a love for children and childlike innocence (Despite it biting him in the ass later due to controversy). People adored him for that strong stage presence and kind personality.

As for me, well. You'll see!

🪷 Sagittarius (°9,°21) | 9th House

You are most adored and respected for your diversity, your creativity in storytelling & ability to branch into a wide range of professional fields/skills. People do not only associate you with one position; as you are usually a multitasking genius! Also, people respect you for your ability & drive towards advocating rights, issues and hypocrisy. You reconceptualize what others may have misunderstood & took lightly to. Activism, speaking out against exploitation & supporting social causes. This is what people respect most about you.

Ex: Melanie Martinez has Sagittarius Jupiter (°5 Leo) in the 12th house. She is most respected for her unique artistic vision, creative control, and ability to blend music with storytelling. She thrives in tackling deep themes, builds immersive worlds (through Crybaby's perspective), and stays true to her individuality/brand/vision. In all of her songs, there is always a message intentionally made to reach out to those that need it.

🪷 Capricorn (°10,°22) | 10th House

People adore you most for your talents and dedicated attitude towards your career. Like Jupiter in Aries you do not have a single bullshit bone in your body, and people can see that. People have a lot of respect for you and how you handle yourself in the professional world. Your business and strategic planning/management is something people see and admire most about you. You just know what to do i.e what's good for your image & you are very careful with how you present yourself. In other words, you know the game & how to play it.

Ex: Megan Thee Stallion has Jupiter in Capricorn (°3 Gemini) in the 2nd house. She's funny, relatable, down to earth but still holds herself & her self worth high. She's confident & smart too people and people love how she is not a quitter. She sticks to what she says & she says what she means!

🪷 Aquarius (°11,°23) | 11th House

Your unique, genuine (true to self expression) appeal & aesthetic has a way to pique people's interests. Something about your work has that distinctive flair that people associate you with. Like if you are in the music industry , it's the blend of sound that you use. If you're an artist, it's literally your art style or the exclusive pallet that you use. You have the ability to influence trends and subcultures on the internet. People love how you act the way you want and stay true to your desires & thoughts no matter what industry you are in. You also tend to challenge the norm when it comes to how a person of your status/stature should behave. Can translate to many different scenarios, from a DMV attendant being quick with their work or an older teacher acting lively & enthusiastic even though her coworkers have all lost their spark.

Ex: The best example to give is Lana Del Rey with Jupiter in Aquarius (°10 Capricorn) in the 5th house. She inspired the Sad girl/Americana Tumblr girl aesthetic back in the 2010s and had a lot of people on a chokehold for that aesthetic. Something about that vintage cinematic charm & classic Hollywood aesthetic just bodes well with the internet. Even in recent years, she was the main influence for the "Coquette" style due to her coquette-esque music. Her music is also undeniably a stand out when compared to other musicians of the time. That juxtaposition comes from her brazen attitude (& heavy smoking) despite having such a sweet angelic or ingenuous appearance/energy in her songs.

Also, note that she has a Stellium in the 11th house in her MC PC (Venus in Cancer, Mercury in Leo & Mars in Leo) which heavily contributes to that as well.

Know who else has this placement? Jungkook. Surprised? No.

🪷 Pisces (°12,°24) | 12th House

With Jupiter in this placement, people adore your dualism & mystical appeal. No one really knows what you're up to or what your intentions are behind the personas they see, but you always have a way to make people curious about you. Your sweet, shy personality also makes people fall for your charm quite easily. Your art & aesthetic is the most "eye-catching" point of interest in your career (in whatever industry you may be in one way or another). There could be a haunting ingenuity that comes with it or Venus-like influence as well. If you are a programmer, people love the depth that your work can accomplish along with the compelling cinematography. Your career/reputation could be related to spirituality as well. This makes people feel very connected to you.

Ex: This is a pretty out of place example compared to what I usually give, but Charles Manson has Jupiter in Scorpio (° 18 Virgo) in the 12th house. He is an infamous cult leader who had a lot of charisma (which inevitably helped grow his already manipulative influence). Now, I don't think it's actually something to be "respected" but he is quite famous for that trait of his. I know some freaks look up to him for that. Which really, reaaally shouldn't be the case. That Pisces -Scorpio combination is just power given to the wrong hands.

🔍 Additional note

For those of you wondering if the Midheaven persona chart works the same way as the Ascendant Persona Chart, no it does not. They are vastly different. I've explained in my Ascendant Persona Chart guide & observations post about the latter but essentially; The MC PC entails your grand scheme reputation or public image (which is often tied to your career but not limited to)

While the ASC PC concerns people's perceptions of you on a personal level. In that post I mentioned, I like to say it's how your natal placements are seen through other people's eyes.

Thank you for reading ♡ support?

@northopalshore

@northopalshore MC persona chart 2025 all rights reserved. Disclaimer

[rosietoesy]

Fever Pitch

Summary: After what happened at Graduation, Wally wanted to make sure you were okay.

Wally Clark x Reader 18+ MDNI

CW: Fluff and smut with a smidgen of angst, unprotected sex, cream pies.

A/N: Thank you, @whoopsyeahokay, for letting me bounce ideas off of you for this. Depending on how well this fic does, there is a possible backstory fic on the reader.

Wally was searching all over the school to try and find you. After what he witnessed at the graduation ceremony. He couldn't believe that they had skipped you during the in memoriam section of the ceremony before they started calling the names of the graduates. His excitement turned into anger. He couldn't believe that happened, in his seat in the 1950's gymnasium of the upper part of the bleachers, he turned to where he saw you sitting, he was going to offer you comfort, but he failed to notice that you were already gone.

He checked almost everywhere in the school, classrooms, library, and cafeteria. He even went to check the dark room in the photography classroom, but no luck. Then it hit him, there was only one other place that he could possibly check to see if you were there, but he wasn't too sure because who really wants to go back to the place where you died? He exited the school & made his way over to the baseball field. He could make out a blob of a shadow as he was walking to it, but once he got closer to the diamond. He recognized you were there, laying out in the outfield near the area where you died. He noticed that you were looking up at the stars in the sky.

He debated if he wanted to approach you or give you space. Ultimately, he decided to approach you carefully without scaring you. You heard footsteps by your head and didn't look behind you to acknowledge the person there. Wally shifted the weight of his feet and was biting his tongue on what to say. You were getting irritated at whoever was standing there was just staring at you. You get ready to open your mouth to tell them to fuck off, only to have Wally beat you to speaking first. “Mind if I joined you?” He asked. You really didn't want anyone to join you or give you pity. You closed your eyes, not saying anything. In your head you were really pondering over whether or not you should accept his offer. With the silence so long, you thought he would have left by now. But with you opening your eyes and glancing behind your head. You saw his feet still there. “Fine.” You replied agitated and Wally took that as a small victory and laid right next to you on the ground. Again, silence filled between y'all and it was nice but also suffocating. After what felt like forever Wally asked “Are you okay?” Sure it seemed silly to ask that since you're both dead and trapped in the school, but he didn't know how much of the ceremony you saw. “I'm doing okay as much as I can while being dead.” You answered. “How much of the ceremony did you see?” He wondered, just wanting to be sure how to proceed forward. You chuckled “I left before they started memoriam. Who wants to hear about a nobody after listening to the life of a star football player?” His expression changed to sadness and his heart broke for you. “I do.” He said. “Yeah, right.” You laughed back in response. He turned to face you and gently reached out to you to turn you to face him as he spoke, he wanted you to see the seriousness in his eyes and face when he said the next thing he was going to. “I'm serious, I really do want to know about you. I've always noticed you since Sophomore year.” He paused to gather his thoughts and you looked at him with confusion on your face. “Ever since the first football game of sophomore year, I noticed you right away. You've been to every football game not missing one except one time during junior year.” He quietly spoke. You really stared at him hard. “You noticed me?” you questioned. “Of course, I did.” He chuckled. “ I thought you were the most beautiful girl in our year back then, still do actually.” He said so casually.

Heat crept on your cheeks or what you thought was heat, you weren't so sure with this whole being dead thing. Soft conversations followed between you after that. Just talking about everything and nothing. Wally noticed some of your hair fell in front of your eyes when you threw your head back in laughter. He moved closer to you and tucked that piece of hair behind your ear. It was definitely heat alright that you felt radiate from Wally's hands being in close proximity. His eyes were locked on yours, and his movement paused. His baby brown cow eyes glanced down to your lips and back to your eyes several times. Trembling in his hold as the warm Wisconsin winds blew over, yeah. You both were slowly moving towards each other and with your lips barely touching. Wally breathes out “Can I kiss you?” Your breath hitches, and you close the space between you. Too afraid of what your voice would sound like. The kiss was everything and more. Slow at first but rapidly gaining speed.

You both separate from each other to catch your breath. It was silent again, but the good kind. Foreheads resting against each other and trying to regulate your breathing. Once you both were at a relaxed pace, he carefully lifted his forehead from yours just so he could look into your eyes. In a husky voice, Wally spoke, “ Wow, that was amazing.” You chuckled and rolled your eyes at him. With that, he pulls you closer to him. Chest to chest, body to body . You gasped at his boldness. He nuzzles his nose into your cheek and lets out a whine “ Please, let me celebrate your accomplishment?” His hips started to roll into yours. You glanced at him, confused about what in the hell he's talking about. Until you remember what tonight actually was. “Don't you mean our accomplishment?” You said while cupping his cheeks in your hand and giving it a gentle but firm squeeze. Wally's eyes flickered shut, & a deep moan left his lips at that.

He had to have you and vice versa. You climbed on top of him, straddling him. Your hands went under your dress, lifting it up and over your head. Wally's eyes widen and another groan left his lips “Fuck!” He couldn't believe that he had the girl he admired since Sophomore year on top of him in only your panties. His hands flew to your hips and gave it a gentle squeeze. In a mocking tone you asked “Ya gonna take off your top big guy?” with a roll of your hips against his. He nodded his head so fast and removed his hands from your hips to lift his shirt over his head. He carefully maneuvered you further down his lap so he could sit up and take off his shirt.

Once his shirt was off, he laid back down and moved you back to where you were straddling him. Your nails run down his chest and stomach, leaving faint marks in its wake. Goosebumps broke out on his arms, and a soft whimper followed. Sliding further down his legs so you could unbutton his slacks. Slowly and painfully removing them off him, just leaving him in his boxers now. Wally's body jolted in surprise when he felt you leaving open mouth kisses down his v-line of hips. His breathing was coming in shallow and stuttering. He honestly couldn't believe that this was happening to him. It didn't seem real to him. It seemed like another dream he was having about you. It wasn't until he felt your fingers wrap around the waistband of his boxers and pulling them down that this was not, in fact, a dream, but reality. A gasp left your lips as you his is cock spring up from the confines of his boxers and hitting his stomach. Wally's face instantly warmed and could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and ears.

Making your way back up his body and one hand wrapped around his cock. Softly stroking him while you leaned down and captured his lips with yours. He felt like he was in heaven, his hands went around your waist pulling you closer to him. “Wally?” You whispered. He grunted in reply, waiting to hear what you have to say to him. “Can I ride you, Mr. Graduate?” You asked. Wally whined and replied “Yes, absolutely yes.” You carefully sat up right and leaned back on to Wally, pulling off your panties. “Holy fuck.” He moaned out, getting a perfect view of your pussy on display for him. You kept your legs opened just for a little longer, giving him a great view of your pussy.

You delicately maneuvered yourself to a hovering position. One hand grasps his cock, while the other is placed on his leg to provide balance. You run his tip between the folds of your pussy, letting it get wet from you. Sighs and moans flew from both of your lips and it wasn't until his tip caught on to the entrance of your pussy that you decided enough was enough and stunk down on him. A loud drawn out moan from both of you leaves your body. You paused just for a short moment to adjust to his size. Once you felt comfortable you did an experimental roll of your hips. A moan left Wally's lips and his hands made it back to your hips. Taking that as a sign to move forward, you began to bounce on his cock. Moans left both of your lips wildly into the starry night.

You started speeding up to help further along the process of getting closer to cum. His hands took on a harsher grip to your hips which pulled you into a stop. Pouting down at him a little confused “Why did you stop?” You asked. He didn't answer, instead he moved his legs into a bent up right position making sure to plant his feet in the ground. He had a harder grip on your hips and began to harshly bucking up into you so that way you both could cum faster. The change of position and speed was absolutely need and sending you closer to the edge as possible. The tip of his cock kept hitting your g-spot over and over again. “Wally, I'm so fucking close.” You whined to him. He lifted one hand from your hip and moved it to work on your clit to help you fall off the edge so much faster. His finger was moving in rapid session and in time with his hips bucking into you.

You cry out his name while cumming and hitting your high. Wally himself was almost there and feeling your pussy squeezing down on him took him over the edge. He held you down on him and threw his head back a long, loud moan of your name ripped through his throat, while his cum spilled into you. Ragged breaths filled the atmosphere and Wally gently pulled you down on top of him. His arms wrapping around you and holding you close. Eventually, both of your breathing evened out, and his fingers were running down your back, calming you down from y'all highs.

A barely audible thank you left your lips. “What?” Wally asked. “Thank you.” You repeated breathlessly. Wally was confused and asked “For?” “Obviously for mind altering sex.” You giggled out, and Wally squeezed your sides in response to your silliness. “In all seriousness, though, thank you for checking in on me.” You told him. “ Of course.” He replied by placing a kiss on your head. He held you closer so he lean over and reach for his letterman to wrap it around the both of you while you stayed in each other's arms for a little while longer under the stars on the baseball diamond.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Re: Lack of Raverne in Book 7's ending with all the memories of the people.

I noticed TWST does this thing sometimes where they purposefully won't bring up certain people in parts where they really should be brought up and talked about - or even if they are brought up, they're not really explained in depth - because those people will be revealed/introduced in full later. Case in point: Idia's parents. I remember when Book 6 rolled around, iirc Idia's parents were never mentioned in Idia and Ortho's backstory during the OB, and many fans thought they were neglectful because of it. But then Book 7 rolled around, their parents do get introduced and we see they're nothing but loving and supportive of both their sons, and they were among the MVP's of Book 7.

So perhaps the very noticeable lack of Malleus's father is supposed to be an implication that Raverne is alive, and that we will be seeing him, one way or another, eventually?

coughsinCrowleyisRavernetheory

In all seriousness, that being said, I very much agree with what you said. It's one thing for the game to purposefully not show somebody at a certain time - it's another thing for the game to do so in a situation where not showing them is a plot hole of sorts. Why wouldn't Raverne be where his wife was?? Was he just never in Wild Rose Castle?? I don't think someone has to be dead in order for them to appear as a memory??

[You can read my thoughts on the book 7 finale here!]

The Shroud parents may not have been present in Idia's post-OB flashback, but Idia does talk about them in book 6! It was a combination of their lack of presence in his backstory + the disparaging things Idia said about his parents ("they care more about getting results than their own son's feelings," or something to that effect) that led many fans--including myself--to think that maybe the Shroud parents were neglectful. Then the Shroud parents appear in book 7, and we see that even Mr. Shroud (who was previously described as cold and calculating) is loving, and both Shroud parents are accepting of Ortho. It can feel like a retcon to some people, but to others, this is easily explained by citing Idia's usually negative frame of mind and how that biases how he sees and presents others. I find myself split down the middle, personally. In any case, I don't think it's a good writing choice to just... not bring up people who really SHOULD be brought up. Should you not at least properly foreshadow now or at least remind us of that thread??? It doesn't read as clever to just not address it or even mention it at all, it comes off as shoving plot holes or other important details into the corner and ignoring it in favor of focusing on something else. This happened with the Shroud parents, and it happened with the end of book 7.

adlhbabyoryqe8foia IS THE CROWLEY = RAVERNE THEORY STILL... AROUND... I thought it would have calmed down a little by now, but it seems to still be going as strong as ever. (If this ends up being Real, then I'm of the opinion that Crowley could have had a brief aside or some ominous/telling line foreshadowing this at the end of book 7. Currently, we don't have anything like that.)

I've been thinking about it and thinking about it, and I STILL don't understand how that ending scene logistically worked out. Barring my confusion with how Lilia's UM worked (how are both humans and fae that resided in the castle at different points in time are having peaceful memories there??), why did Maleanor, the Dawn Knight, and Leah appear but not Raverne???? Nameless NPC soldiers showed up too, but not Raverne???? Doesn’t that imply that there is not a single memory associated with Raverne in Castle Wildrose that Lilia can summon OTL B-But surely he was there at least once, seeing as he's a diplomat? Literally described as “her highness Maleanor’s eyes, hands, and feet"???? And that's his WIFE???? Please make this make sense, because it doesn't no matter how much I try to wrap my mind around it 😭

[nothorses]

(cw: suicide mention, domestic abuse mention)

hey, you're in the teaching world, yeah?

do you mind if I ask how you decided to go into education, and how you're finding it as a job? I'm considering going into teaching (high school, English, which I think puts me a bit to the side of your specific area of expertise). but I'm thinking about the emotional toll of it. about having to balance legal bullshit like transphobic legislation and controlling bureaucracy with the respect and care that all students deserve but often don't get.

I'm also thinking about the stuff that scares me, the worst case scenarios of "what if one of my students kills themselves" or "what if I have to report domestic abuse, even if I know it'll make my student's life worse" and others along those lines.

how do you deal with that? how do any teachers? I'm gaining a new level of respect for the good teachers I've had throughout my life. this shit is so hard.

Honestly I'm going to answer your last question first because I think this is a really good question, and it's one I have a real answer for from personal experience! I will answer the rest under the cut, too.

"What if I have to report domestic abuse, even if I know it'll make my student's life worse?"

First, and most importantly: you should always be upfront with your students about your mandated reporter status. This is 100% within your rights to do, and it's important that they know you aren't able to keep secrets before they divulge any to you.

Typically, I like to frame this as: "I want you to know that I'm here for you, and I want to listen and help. I also cannot promise that everything you tell me will stay between us, especially if it's about your or someone else's safety." You don't need to announce this to the whole class all at once, but when students start to confide things to me, I make sure to tell them this so they can make an informed choice.

Second: If you know you need to make a report, talk to the student you are making the report on behalf of first. Giving them this warning can be invaluable, even if the report isn't going to be dangerous for them.

Third: you don't need to make the report right away! You need to make the report in a reasonable amount of time, but you can work with the student in question on this.

As an example: when a student confided in me and I knew I needed to make a report, I told them right away that I would have to report it, and had a conversation with them about it. We talked about whether they would be safe, and what would make them safer. We determined that while they weren't unsafe either way, they would feel better and have an overall easier experience if they could talk to their family about the situation first. I followed up with them about a week later, and when they confirmed that they'd been able to talk to their parents and it was okay to go ahead with the report, I told them when I would make the report, and then did so.

You should also be sure to mention in your report that you feel the student might be in greater danger if their family knows about the report. Give them as many details as you can: what kinds of things would endanger the student? What is the specific nature of that danger? If the person who acts on that report has these details, they might be able to adjust their follow-up and response accordingly to help protect the student as much as possible.

Alright, CPS stuff out of the way, I want to answer the rest of this as well. Thank you for the great question!

I decided to go into education because it's a thing I loved doing in some related jobs, and honestly, it just felt right for me.

I also ended up choosing not to go into classroom teaching specifically after my student teaching internship, because I felt that while I could be happy as a classroom teacher, it just wasn't really where I thought I'd be happiest. I didn't like the hours, I didn't like the expectation to police attendance, and I honestly had really enjoyed a lot of education-related work that wasn't classroom teaching a lot more.

I ended up getting my master's in education to expand my options, and I've landed in my dream job (except for the fact that it's part time.... for now. lol) which has been fantastic. I am also really glad I got my teaching certification regardless- it's made subbing a better option in terms of pay and just, like, the ability to work with public schools at all, and just about every single other grad from my master's program wishes they had gotten theirs for the same reason (and they're finding it really, really hard to do that post-graduation).

The emotional side is... well, honestly, it's definitely emotional work, but I find that really works both ways. I'm not one of those (incredibly special and admirable) teachers who would do and give anything just to work with their students, and I am definitely tired after work! But it's a good kind of tired, usually. I feel fulfilled. My work feels meaningful, and even when it's hard, it feels worth it; I never feel like I'm struggling for nothing, or for the benefit of someone who doesn't deserve it (like a CEO, or a shitty manager). I can't understate the value of that.

The part of the work that I think is dangerous isn't that it's emotionally involved-- it's burnout. It's being overworked and underappreciated for too long, and becoming emotionally detached because you have nothing left to give at all. And that is going to depend on your workplace, what they're demanding of you, and the support they do or do not give you.

The best defense for this, imo, is being picky and sticking up for yourself and your needs. Learn to identify the signs of burnout in yourself, and get the fuck out of there as soon as you can when you notice them. Do not hesitate. Burnout will make you hate your job, it'll make you feel like a bad teacher, it'll make you detach, and it can definitely cause you to lose the patience and compassion you need to be a good teacher for your students.

Also: do not ever give in to the teachers who bitch about their students. Ever. Don't let them drag you down into that bitter, burnt out, resentful mindset with them. Don't gossip about students. Don't blame them for how you feel. Sit with someone else at lunch, even if those are your friends. This is one of the best pieces of advice my professors ever gave me; trust me on this one.

As for the other things...

I really encourage you to get your teaching certification through a college degree program, and try out classroom teaching for yourself. If you don't like it, if the bureaucracy is too much or you can't do the emotional side of it or it's just not for you, now you know! That teaching cert will serve you in a multitude of other ways, though, and if you end up in education regardless, you'll be glad you did it.

Transphobic laws and tendencies are going to come through most in school administration, and you won't feel them nearly as much if your school's admin is on your side. I really encourage you to be picky about the schools you work for. There are schools out there that will have your back, though; you might just have to look for, and even relocate for them. You know your circumstances best, and you'll have to determine if that's reasonable for yourself.

And.... if a student kills themselves, or something else terrible happens to them: you will grieve. You will hurt, you will be angry, you will be sad, you will wish it didn't happen, you will want to blame yourself, and you will grieve. Eventually, you will also process and heal and accept. And you will also continue to grieve. It's hard. It won't ever not be hard. Unfortunately, though, you won't escape grief no matter what you do for work. It's up to you to decide how you need to handle that risk.

Sorry for how rambly all of this is-- and best of luck! The world needs more teachers who are trying to do right by their students, and if you do choose to go into education, your students will be lucky for it. I hope you take care of yourself at least as much as you take care of them.

[thevoidscreams]

Hope you doing very good! For the mating press march: need me my favorite emotionally constipated man, Lion. What if his wifey (arranged-bitter-marriage) and him get into a verbal fight and in the heat of the moment they end up having wild animal sex and now they can't get enough of each other??

Love a big grumpy man

Day 21 Year 2: Warnings: Arranged marriages, it's not quite angry animal sex but it is grumpy

Word count: 2704

How the fight got started you didn't even remember, you were just so frustrated with this man.

His insistence that he was right and his inability to read any emotions from you was all so much. Part of you regretted your arrangement with his family. Your world was compliant and safe and you hated it. Not that it was safe but that you'd been pawned off to this man.

You wished he was more like his brothers, but he wasn't. It was like he didn't know how to feel properly and was angry at you for having the power of basic emotional intelligence. Maybe that's where it had gotten heated.

"I don't know what you want from me." He snarled, his voice low, a threat in each syllable. "Well if you learned to listen, you might." You shot back. Lion was so close to just taking you back and bringing the world to heel by force if needed. But it'd been months since the wedding. And the trip would set them back more time then they could afford. "Well I clearly do not know, so you must not have made your point with any form of clarity, woman." Your anger was reaching a boiling point, something had to give. "I've told you I want to be treated like your wife! Not just some person who lives on your ship."

Lion had heard it before, but it wasn't any clearer what you meant by that. Emperor on Terra preserve him; he should have heeded Fulgrim when he came to offer advice in this matter. It was too little too late for that, he wouldn't go crawling back to his brother now, tail between his legs like some whelp. He ran his hands over his face in agitation. "Tell me what, in exact words, it is that you want from me." He growled again. You seemed to deflate, eyes growing wet as you threw up your hands. "How can I be more specific, Lion? You know what married couples do, do you not?" His chest tightened, not only in frustration but in that same damned feeling he got every time you looked ready to cry or did cry. He didn't want you to cry about this, he wanted clarity. "We are married. What more is there to do?"

You looked about ready to deck him, even with the tears burning just below the surface. "Well for one, we don't sleep together, we don't take out meals together, you barely let me spend time with you and when we're together you're angry at me for things I have no say or control over." You scrubbed your hands over your face, wiping away the need to cry, but your voice was tight. "You haven't even touched me, we never consummated our marriage. I feel like we're living in some big joke."

Lion ground his teeth. It made sense, he knew that those on Caliban had had traditions that they observed after a wedding but he'd never taken an interest in it. Now he supposed he should have.

"Very well." He growled, still angry at the other feelings you drew up from the depths of him. Especially when you looked sad or upset. He reached for you, grabbing you around the waist and pulling you in closer.

He understood the rudimentary functions of sex. Every beast on Caliban seemed to do it, so more energetically and frequently than others.

You wanted to smack him. "Not here, we're in a public space." You huffed and Lion felt his anger peaking again. "Then where? Warp damn you just tell me exactly what you want." "Your room, the bed chambers we were supposed to share after you took me as your wife."

It was fairly obvious once he thought about it. Tossing you onto the bed, he tugged off his clothes, you followed suit, undoing the threads that held your corset in place and kicked off your skirts. Lion was every bit as beautiful underneath as you had been expecting, if not more so. But when he looked at you, something changed in his gaze. Something impossible to define. You felt your cheeks heat up as you averted your gaze, laying there bare on his bed. Soon his heat was over you, his skin warm as he pressed his chest to yours. "Well, do you have anything else to complain about? Or may we get this over with?" "You can be such a prick, you know that?" You dragged his face down before he could protest and met him eye to eye. "You could start off with this." Your lips pressed to his. The primarch's body twitched at the sudden touches. But he forced himself to calm, to press his lips back into yours. The start was rough, as you both tried to find a rhythm that suited each other. Lion's body felt hot when you both seemingly figured it out. With a groan he pressed you down into the bed a bit more. His hand looked for the place between your legs where he needed to seat his cock in order to make this work. When he found it he seemed to realize how small you were compared to him. This would take some work, but he was determined now to see this through. Lips still locked he felt your hand slide over his, positioning one finger so it was brushing your entrance before pushing his finger in with a deep moan. He was surprised by the action but allowed you to guide his hand till he understood through feel. This was all new to him, kissing, fingering, he'd never seen any of these behaviors displayed before. Animals didn't kiss, didn't prepare their partners for copulation, they just did it. As he worked his finger he felt your body shifting under him and he broke the kiss to watch, your face was contorted into something that at first he thought was pain. But then you moaned his name, and it was the sweetest sound. He felt your body ease into him, relaxing around the one finger he tested the waters by pressing another one into the opening, listening to you gasp as he pushed it in further, running both along your inner walls. There was an odd patch where the flesh was rough, bumpy instead of smooth, he investigated further. "Fuck, Lion!" You gasped, hips bucking as he pressed there. It was like a switch had flipped. He needed more, needed to hear more and feel more. He kept up the assault until you were a wiggling, incoherent mess below him.

Your thighs clamped around his hand and your body bowed slightly as you let out a shrill cry, muscles tensing. He stopped and waited till you had relaxed again. "That was a good start." You hummed, hand on his shoulder as you guided him back over you, taking his cock in hand. It was fully erect, he hadn't noticed. When had it done that?

Lining him up you urged him forth as your legs on either side of his hips pulled, the stretch was a burning pain, even after he'd prepared you. But you endured, slowly each inch of him slipped inside. It was better than good for him, his teeth grit as he held back from just impaling you on his cock and fucking you until he came to his climax.

He lowered his chest to yours, and allowed you to wrap your arms around him. The anger that had consumed him had faded. Replaced by something new he couldn't describe. You patted his back, grabbing his attention. "Try moving now." He drew his hips back, tortuously slow till the tip of his cock was all that remained inside. You nodded and he slid back in faster by a mere fraction. When he was fully seated he was rewarded with a moan. He kept the slow increase in speed until you whined and raised your hips to meet his thrust, forcing him in. Lion gasped, practically choking on his own spit as the sensation of pleasure washed over him. "That felt.. that was excellent." He sighed softly, confused, maybe there was something to this sex thing after all. You grumbled up at him. "You should pick up the pace then." He grunted and rolled his hips down into yours with more speed and force, intent to make you regret your snark. Instead you both swore, your arms holding him tighter as he wrapped his arms around you to hold you close to him. His hips quickly found a rhythm that you both liked. Your moans and pants mingling in the late evening air. Your name rolled off his tongue sweetly and you wanted to cry again. Not out of sadness or frustration, but pure ecstasy and happiness.

At some point your lips had come back together, tongues fighting for dominance. He won rather quickly.

You came first, body locking around him as you cried his name, it was better than you'd ever managed. Lion's hips guided you through it, fucking you even as you came, his rhythm grew erratic. Hips stuttering as he gave you his first true orgasm. Filling you with his thick cum.

The aftermath was eye opening. "Was that acceptable?" He breathed. "Yes. Very." You rolled onto your side to face him. He watched you wiggle closer until you were on his chest, laying there and kissing him. He wrapped an arm around you, holding you tight as you both fell into a deep peaceful sleep.

Lion woke before you the next morning, his cock hard at the mere sight of you. He woke you with several firm nips to your neck. "Hey, ouch, stop-" He stopped your words with a quick kiss to the mouth as he rolled you under him. His cock sliding home, hands wandering over your body as he fucked you again.

An hour later you were both late to breakfast. Tossing on your clothes from the night before you half expected him to leave you behind. But he stayed by the door until your boots were on and he led you to the dinning hall. Luther met you halfway, likely coming to look for his primarch. The look of undisguised shock when he saw you with the Lion almost made you laugh.

Although the rest of his legion didn't seem nearly as phased, just curious when you joined your husband at the table and ate with him.

You followed him for the rest of the day until it was time for bed. You again expected him to send you off to your separate chambers but he grabbed you before you could stop and enter your room, carrying you back to his bed to sleep for the night. It felt good.

It went on as such for a week. He was approaching a new system with habitable planets. And he would be gone, on a campaign bringing other worlds into compliance if there were people there.

You kissed him awake that morning and felt an odd tug at your hearts at the thought of not seeing him. He held you close, one hand on your hip as his other arm held you tight to his body. "Do you think there will be much fighting with these worlds?" Lion grunted. "I cannot say, anything could happen, we will be prepared for any eventuality." You nodded. "If you have to fight, will you return to the ship often?" "Again, I cannot say. Why do you persist with these questions?" His lips trailed a line of soft kisses up your throat and over your jaw. "Because.." You blushed. "Well, you're my husband. And I want to see you." "You will see me." He replied, sucking a bit of your skin till a dark bruise was left there. "If I am gone for months then you will see me after those months. If I am gone a week then you will see me after that week. It will be how it is, and neither you nor I can change this fact. I have my duties to my father and they must come first." "I know." You drew in a shaky breath. "But I will miss you when you are gone." Lion pulled away to meet your eyes. "You confuse me. At first you could not stand my presence. Now you tell me you will miss it." He pressed a soft kiss to your lips. But he knew that he would miss you as well. "We will make the most of the time we have, and I will vox when there is a lull in combat. If there is indeed any." "I guess you might take over the world peacefully. Like you did mine." You told him. He went back to marking your skin. "Just so long as you don't marry anyone else." "Why? Most Lions have a pride." He teased in a rare moment of humor. But the thought of sharing him made you feel ill.

"So you would be alright if I married a planetary leader's son to bring that world into compliance?" You asked, almost too casually. Lions jaws tightened on a spot over your shoulder and he growled. An honest to goodness growl. Like some terrible forest beast. "No." He responded. "You are mine. I will not share you, not with anyone, not for any reason." He pulled you on top of him, cock pressing your entrance. "Well then I guess we'll both just have to agree that we're only for one another." You smiled and sat on his cock, letting it fill you fully. Lion growled. "What a wretched little thing you are. When I am finished with you you won't need those rings for others to know who you belong to."

The morning was spent much like that. When you could no longer put off the day you went to draw a bath to clean up. Your husband joined you, admiring your form as you sat on the edge of the tub waiting for it to fill.

"I was talking to Luther the other day." You said after a few minutes of quiet, Lion stepped into the tub first and offered you a hand stepping in.

"Oh, and what was it you both had to talk about?" He sat with legs splayed so you could sit between them. You reclined against his back sighing at the warmth of the water. "You." "And what did you two share about me?" "He told me you could sing so beautifully that it would make grown men and women weep to hear it." Lion grunted. "He exaggerates."

You looked up at him, turning to better make eye contact. "Would you sing for me?" You asked. He sighed and grabbed a bar of soap. "I suppose I could. Now sit still and I will wash you."

Luther hadn't been over exaggerating anything. You laid with your head on his chest, just listening as he sang an old folk song from the people who'd found him on Caliban. It was the most heart warmed and wrenched you'd ever been. His voice touched parts of you that were not physical. You were speechless. And when the final restrain wound down to its conclusion you just laid in his arms."Did that suffice?" He asked into the fading echoes of his song. You just sat there dumb founded. "I might need you to sing for me every day." You chuckled lamely. He nodded. "When I am able." It was a promise, and he would honor it for as long as he was able. He felt you relax into him again. How your relationship had evolved so rapidly was still a mystery to him. But he did not savor the idea of being away from you for so long as he had been away in the past. Both of you were fundamentally changed now. He could see it, but it was not a bad change.

He kissed your hair, and returned to bathing you. It was one week till he would be at the first planet in this new system. He would make the most of every moment until then.

[madsluvsdilfs]

Early Morning Cuddles

Stephen Glass x Reader

Warnings? Nope, all fluff

Stephen woke up with a groan, the early morning light almost blinding him. He brings a hand up to rub his eyes, trying to get rid of the blind spots that waking up brings to his vision. He's careful not to move too much, not wanting to wake you up so early, knowing how grumpy you get when you get woken up before you're ready. He pulls his arm out from under you, moving you carefully so you're laying on your side, his free hand brushing a few strands of hair from your face. Once he's got a clear view, he leans down, starting to press featherlight, barely noticeable kisses to every inch of your face possible. From your forehead to the tip of your nose, your cheeks, and your chin, he leaves no space un-kissed. He's careful not to apply too much pressure before moving down to your jaw, tracing your jawline with his lips until he eventually reaches the space behind your ear that connects to your neck. He whispers sweet words of love to you, even though logically he knows you can't hear him right now, he hopes you do.

Finally, after some time, he feels you shifting beneath him, a less than happy grumble leaving you as you stretch, your joints practically sighing in relief after being in the same position for hours. Before even opening your eyes, your hands find Stephen, and he couldn't be happier about it. He all but moans when your hands find their way to his hair and he locks his lips onto your neck, sucking at your pressure point before sitting up and greeting you a ‘good morning, princess’.

He waits until you finally open your eyes, a smile easily fining it's place on his lips, his eyes shining down at you with nothing but love and awe. ‘You look so pretty when you wake up’, he compliments you before leaning down and pecking the tip of you nose, making you scrunch it up in response. He spends the rest of the morning letting you adjust to being awake again, after all, he's always been more of a morning person than you have. Before he knows it, the two of you are wrapped up together again, your head on his chest and his fingers brushing the knots and taangles out of your hair. He's mainly quiet before perking up, ‘what do you want for breakfast? I could make pancakes, or waffles, or we could go out or-’

‘Waffles. With lots of strawberries and syrup’, you tell him and he immediately let's out a chuckle and presses a kiss to your forehead again.

‘Okay, waffles and strawberries it is. Anything for my angel. I'll go make them when you're ready to actually get out of bed’, he teases, poking your sides before flipping you over so your on your back and he's ontop of you, his fingers tickling your stomach. And that's how he's spends his morning, teasing his perfect, amazing girlfriend and silently thanking whatever ultimate force brought them together.

Hi, lovelies! I know, I know I said I was going to disappear, but here I am. I've been so bored lately and had test upon test, but I've had an itch to write but didn't know how to scratch it. I've had no ideas but wanted to write something incredibly soft, so I thought up this idea in like 5 minutes. You can either read this as a normal drabble or, as I initially thought it up as a continuation of 'date night'? Anyways, I really want to write but have no ideas so if you have any, I beg you to suggest them!! Hope you enjoy this (once again, not proofread and written in 10 minutes (so sorry if it's pure rubbish)) drabble, stay safe, I love you all xx

[zalrb]

I'd love a breakdown of the acting in the 3rd episode of Adolescence if you ever feel inclined, maybe the moments that hit the strongest? I thought the actor did well in going from one emotion to another and when he raises his voice to exert power over the therapist

Sure! Yes, Owen does a really great job in shifting emotions throughout the episode and slowly showing Jamie's darker side without being theatrical even when he's explosive.

What I really enjoyed is at the beginning when he's having, considering the circumstances, a relatively good time talking to Briony and they're having their sort of banter because it does seem like he's a generally and genuinely a witty, funny kid but I think you can also tell that he's negging her, which, you know, the term is from The Rules of the Game, which isn't a book that I've read but has been described as a catalyst for incels so even when he's kind of being a happy-go-lucky kid, I think Owen imbues something lightly sinister to how he's talking with Briony

while also showing a childlike delight in having an easygoing, fun conversation with someone

I also quite like the yawn now that I know that it wasn't intentional, Owen was genuinely tired and he yawned and Erin Doherty just went with it and ad-libbed her response

and Owen laughs and he's kind of giggly because he also didn't expect that ad-lib

but Erin continues with her lines and so you see in a few seconds how Owen locks back into the scene, and gets back into the character

and it works for the entire dynamic between the two of them because I would not have guessed that that was what we were watching and it's a testament I think that he recovered so quickly.

When he does stand up and says, "What was that? Hey?"

he kind of mimics Stephen Graham's intonation and body language, which kind of showcases how he tries to model himself after different male role models, which includes his dad who he's very protective of and who isn't a bad guy but has harmful habits that Jamie's picked up on, so I thought was really well done.

And he's also good at facial expressions, derision

sadness

irritation/defensiveness

I also think when he panics and lashes out when Briony says that they aren't going to see each other anymore is really well done, the "Do you like me?" and "Tell my dad I'm alright"

because there is a raw vulnerability there but he puts that in his performance after such a vile confession, which was also done really well because it's performed as beseeching, like even though the underlying message of his confession about how he felt is "that bitch deserved it" he doesn't play it with that kind of sinister tilt and he doesn't play it as emotionless and logical, he plays it as, if you just understand, if you just understand from my point of view, which is really chilling.

As for Erin Doherty, it's harder to discuss her even though she does so much because everything is so subtle with her, you can't get in screenshots but she was such a great scene partner and like I said, she does so much with her material because she's meant to be an impartial ear there to make an assessment but you see how she slowly shifts throughout their hour together with her tone especially, like when she comes back in after her first outburst, she's curt

and her expressions change infinitesimally, because she doesn't show too much emotion because she's not meant to sway Jamie in any kind of way but for the audience (and sometimes for Jamie because he's bright and observant) we can see a very slight eye roll or sigh, we can she how she watches him, hopeful for any kind of sign so there can be mitigating factors to his crime

and then her realization when Jamie speaks about how he could've molested Katie's body but didn't and that makes him better, the disappointment and disgust and shock is communicated with a furrow of her eyebrow

or a very slight pursing of her lips and then the sort of release she has to do once he's left

is such a great performance.

[wizardsix]

six's incomprehensible review of kcd2's writing

(I'll be honest this isn't as much of a proper review as i wish i could write, maybe one day i'll rewrite this with a newfound professionalism but for now i just wanted to make one big post on why I personally think the writing is so good in general as someone who appreciates the craft and studies it... everything under the cut for kcd1&2 spoilers. 4.1k words and divided for easier reading. thanks in advance for your time)

brief lore

so i've been playing kcd2 pretty much every day since it dropped, did my first playthrough in under 5 days with little sleep and let me tell you. I have been completely cured of everything that was causing me grief for the entirety of january which involved my own personal art/writing, and honestly this game dropped at a perfect time to rip me out of my self-induced misery.

despite my love for fantasy and historical settings, I didn't expect much when I first played kcd1. I thought it was just a medieval times war simulator for repressed men, but I had to give it a try. obviously, I'm glad I was wrong, and I actually realized this around the time you go back to skalitz for henry's parents and after I played theresa's dlc. I realized there might actually be care put into the writing, into the reality of war instead of glorifying it with another peasant-turned-knight story. kcd1 did an incredible job of immersing you into the role of henry, an average peasant, son of a blacksmith. he's not some secretly skilled dragonborn waiting to be awakened to save the world, he's just a boy who was thrown into the fray years before he was ready... kcd1 was good. i really enjoyed playing it and experiencing such a unique game. it was an impressive ambition especially with the limited budget they had. maybe it could stand to be condensed, but as an act 1 it's incredibly engaging at the beginning and end, creating a strong foundation and lot of anticipation for kcd2.

authenticity is king

what makes a good story? a question that can be debated until the end of time. its complicated. its simple. its completely subjective. but as corny as it sounds, the truth i believe is a good story has soul in it. it's something i will believe until i die. a good story has something to say, something that needs to be said no matter how silly or serious it is. and even if the result is ugly, bad art with soul will never truly be bad. and i'm not here to preach anything or glaze companies like warhorse and even larian, because no one is safe from criticism (i have especially torn into larian myself over certain issues), but this universal praise we see isn't undeserved, and we should celebrate the fuck out of good games when we get them.

kcd2, i believe, has easily become one of the greatest games of all time. and it's simply because, at its core, the writing of kcd is human. this is unfortunately something very easily forgotten when swept up in numbers and trends. but kcd is not trying to be something it isn't. the writers had a very clear vision of the story they wanted to tell from the start and made absolutely 0 sacrifices for trends and culture wars.

the writing is mature, it respects your intelligence and doesn't have to spell everything out. serious moments actually feel tense, the humour is woven in well without being out of place, and something i consider a true miracle is that they don't force quippy lines out of every character. the dialogue is believable enough where it's not too incomprehensibly archaic or too jarringly modern. the characters are not all that self aware and don't pull therapy speak out of their asses. every single character has depth from the major characters to even the minor npcs. the world is so full of personality and charm that i didn't mind sitting around with npcs to just listen to them talk about their mundane lives or observe their daily routines. i even found myself caring about the most insignificant npcs. like i failed the fight dirty quest bc i banished hired hand stanley to hell for bullying my boy tobias 'darling' and his dog. such a minor npc but i felt like i had to do something to help even if the game didn't acknowledge it. and to me, if a game makes you feel something and follows you well after it's over, it's doing something right.

at the time of writing this i'm on my 3rd playthrough. 200+ hours and i'm still discovering new npcs, dialogue, quests, locations, and outcomes. 2.2 million words sounds like too much, it makes you wonder if its justified, but i can confidently say it is. warhorse made no sacrifices to be like other games. their vision remained strong from beginning to end, and now if they so choose to, kcd3 has a very strong foundation and limitless potential for henry's story to branch off into. and if not, i have no doubt whatever warhorse writes next, whether it's about henry, medieval bohemia, or another historical setting completely, will be a masterpiece.

wait... you're just like me?

every single character in kcd has flaws and some fuck up immensely, which many people might be annoyed w but it's something I love and find lacking in a lot of stories. you can't pin a single character down as "good" or "evil" and they put an emphasis on this when confronting istvan, erik, markvart, drinking w the cumans, staying in trosky, exposing semine, spying on the praguers, and through a bunch of minor npc conflicts... all of these situations are not clear-cut and every single character involved have reasons for fighting, and you fear the prospect that they're right.

what do you do when the enemy looks and feels like you do? how do you judge someone in any way that matters without condemning yourself too? the game asks questions and does not give you an answer. at least not one that will satisfy everyone. such is life. and that's what i love about this game. i love when writers aren't afraid to make their characters so viscerally human. I love how no one is immune to their desires, to all the fuck ups and deception. everyone is bound to fuck up no matter how careful they are. fuck ups that seem so easily avoided if they did one thing differently or were more cautious of who they worked with. you'd think even the most cunning and experienced could avoid it but even they mess up, and kcd doesn't try to show off or give anyone immunity in manipulation and morality. it's as markvart said, "under all the armour and finery you will only ever find a man" (and my god, what a scene. I believe the entire conversation w markvart is the heart of the story. but my words won't do it justice, please go watch it it's incredibly written and acted).

so... why did i care about some npc with 3 lines enough to fail a quest and risk getting arrested for him? well, because his story hit home. it's a rarity that writers care enough about the little people to show the beauty of the mundane and the humanity of even the most revered. kcd breaks the illusion that people in the past were so different from us today and tells us point blank that we are here today because the fight for life and love is endless.

things worth living for

kcd puts you into the body of a boy who had everything taken from him, and from the moment he regains consciousness he's ready to throw himself back at the enemy to avenge his parents. it's a pretty hopeless thing to do. what can one blind man do against an army? what can one weary woman do in the ruins of her home but try to save at least one more soul, even at the cost of her own? kcd shows the gruesome and hopeless reality of war... but it also does a good job of showing the importance of people.

henry has few people left in his life, but two haunt the corners of his mind; his parents, we know this very well. they are the driving force of why he fights and they remain important instead of being used as fuel for his story. it may seem insignificant, but i really appreciate that they didn't pull a "radzig didn't want henry or care about henry's mother and lied to martin the whole time" and "martin abandoned sara and samuel for another family", i feel it would've been too much for henry to have more guilt and anger over his parents and then a tense relationship w radzig/samuel on top. what would be the point in learning about his real father and step brother, only to end up resenting them? there's a lot of dark shit going on and it's good to have some genuine familial relationships once in a while.

there's no malicious reason why martin and radzig couldn't raise their biological sons, and if they could, they would have, but they tried to do the best they could for henry given the circumstances, and you wouldn't even doubt for a second that martin would've loved sam if things were different. it's bittersweet and feels real. there's no need for a big plot twist of "martin was a bad man actually" after everyone spoke so fondly of him. and i appreciate that warhorse doesn't pull plot twists out of nowhere. it's good that henry has hans, sam, radzig, and godwin to rely on and untainted memories of his parents. it's good that despite everything, henry is able to hold onto the blue skies overhead, green grass underfoot, beautiful girls, good wine, a few good friends, and a fine steed under his backside.

... speaking of godwin, i want to briefly mention just how good of a secondary pov character he was. when i first played i was a little confused as to why him, mostly bc i didn't drink w him in the first game so i didn't know shit about him. but godwin makes a very compelling and fun secondary pov character as a noble war veteran turned priest that has absolutely no involvement in henry's life aside from drinking with him once but is now compelled to look out for him simply because he likes him (and bc it was asked of him but he does care shh). and it's not like his purpose was to babysit henry the whole time, he's given his own personal obstacles when he has to face his father in raborsch, who berates him in front of everyone with no shame, to the italian job where his father finally acknowledges that he was wrong about godwin. kcd2 gives this hedonistic priest a whole new layer of depth one couldn't have deduced based off his behaviour from the first game. it's truly incredible to see how a little care can go really far for even the most seemingly unimportant npcs like godwin or even liechtenstein. all in all, i really enjoyed playing as godwin and he was the perfect choice for a secondary pov character.

i could go on forever about the supporting characters, but i need to move onto the elephant in the room now: henry and hans.

those guys

henry and hans are so fascinating to me. it's been a good while since i've seen such deep and complex characters where even their failures are exciting to witness because you just know this will only strengthen them as people. the reason why, for me at least, it means a lot that warhorse wrote such a beautiful relationship between two men is bc they're written as people first. henry and hans are two characters that Can stand on their own but become stronger together. two young men who come from completely different worlds find comfort in each other's presence despite the laws of man and god saying it can't be so.

you can see something shift between them as early as the hunting trip. a trip that was a punishment for both turned out to be what they needed. to put aside their statuses and find common ground. hans asks about henry and skalitz, and empathizes with henry over the loss of his parents and reveals he never knew his own. you see something strange from the asshole who keeps humiliating and provoking you. you start to understand that all he really needed was for someone to understand him. not a mentor or guardian. not his subjects who drink and bathe with him on a whim. a friend. someone who sees him as a person worthy of his noble title and not a child or a drunk whore.

this newfound bond grows as you get up to typical teenage boy behaviour and in the span of a few weeks the haughty nobleman henry met just yesterday becomes a closer friend than his childhood friends fritz or matthew ever cared to be. but it doesn't end there. hans doesn't remain a pretty face and let everyone fight battles for him, and when it's time to take back talmberg his true character shows when he puts himself between the enemy to save tobias feyfar (when the trebuchet is attacked) or henry (if he gets knocked out during night raid). hans is willing to risk himself because he believes in justice as much as henry even though he came from a more privileged background. both of them were already incredibly noble men in the making and kcd2 tests how far they're willing to go for a place in the world.

it doesn't matter how you play him; henry remains the same sweet boy from skalitz underneath it all. the blacksmith's boy who comes home crying to ma with scrapes and bruises and big dreams, the lover and loyal friend, and the survivor who vowed to never run from a fight lest more innocents be slaughtered for his cowardice. he never forgot skalitz and he never stopped blaming himself. even if he has to push, even when he becomes just as bad as runt or istvan or the dry devil, it weighs on him. you can control his actions and his words, but you can't control how he feels at his core. even after all three of his goals have been achieved by the end of kcd2 (avenge his parents, get his sword back, and protect hans), he is still deeply hurt and laments getting lost in his path of vengeance. this guilt follows him into his dreams, justifying his actions becomes an uphill battle, and in the final conversation with his "parents" he can choose to repent and acknowledge that he has lost himself or double down and say he was always right. then he can choose to keep fighting, or finally present martin's sword to radzig and settle into the life he should've had back in skalitz...

there's no black or white answer, as the game often tells you, only action and consequence. and something I've noticed are the people who are a bit annoyed at how your choices throughout the game don't matter in the end since you can choose to say sorry and "everything is okay", but I don't see it that way really. it's not okay, why would it be? but everyone deserves a chance to repent, whether you personally believe it or not, and henry is arguably better than most for acknowledging his guilt and promising to do better. life doesn't end at the first sin. you could always become just as bad as the enemy or you could choose to be kind, merciful, and treat people with dignity.

as for hans. well... kcd2 happens because of him, because he desperately wanted to prove himself to hanush and his people that he was a capable ruler and warrior. he wasn't expecting it to be difficult, his confidence in the plan is the sole reason why it went so wrong. it was his fault they were ambushed despite henry's concern and he knows it. then he blows up at henry and runs off to fix it himself, which he would've succeeded in if von bergow hadn't played them. his comfortable view of the world was shattered and he couldn't accept it at first, but facing death multiple times and seeing henry risk it all for little reward built him back up as a braver and more responsible man to the point where he is unrecognizable from how he started in the first game. hans is reliable, brave, and capable of handling a lot more than people give him credit for. not a lot of noblemen would risk themselves so willingly, let alone for a peasant, and henry is actually lucky hans tolerated him and threw hands as equals instead of just sending him to jail and ending his journey quite early (henry is lucky a lot of noblemen put up w him lbr he does himself no favours lmao).

i find hans to be interesting because he isn't really a typical nobleman, he puts the pleasures of life first before politics and sees his people as people and war as a losing battle (see the conversation he has w brabant after freeing them from maleshov). but he still acknowledges that the day will come when he has to take his role seriously even if the looming threat to his freedom strikes fear into his soul (see raborsch when the arranged wedding is announced). in the prologue of kcd2 he leads the company and doesn't joke much or even indulge in the conversation of women, the shadow of tomorrow's meeting with von bergow grows closer and there's a lot of pressure to not mess it up. hans is a lot of things, but incompetent is not one of them. he doesn't cry when they have to get their hands dirty and remains relatively calm when dealing with other nobleman. he knows what's at stake and doesn't allow henry to take the brunt of their struggles. even when henry is hallucinating, shouting, and is essentially dead weight, hans doesn't hesitate to carry him and assure him that he's okay.

i haven't even begun to cover the depth of the story and the characters, but as much as i wish i could I'm not qualified enough for a deep analysis and I'd rather go to my final thoughts, which is of course the romance between henry and hans (and warhorse's treatment of mlm characters).

gay... people?

from my previous point, these are two characters that stand on their own, but together they stand taller. even without any romance the game and story are incredible. henry and hans' friendship is not optional, it is a core part of their characters and why they fight. it's not distracting or out of nowhere bc their sexualities are not their entire personalities. but here's the thing, the friendship created a strong foundation for a potential romance, but if written carelessly and completely out of character, this romance would not have worked and the writer's hand would show. taking into account the setting, the characters, and the plot is the only way to craft a believable and good romance. and I know some people are disappointed because they expected more romance or dates or some grand display of love, but these characters aren't like that, at least not how we perceive romance in our modern day. they love each other, there's no denying that, and they didn't even have to say those exact words for it to be true. love can be shown and said in a multitude of different ways and it will not look the same for every person, but it doesn't make the love any lesser.

for henry and hans, it's action above words. hans seems to be the more introspective of the two, and we see this when it's him who initiates the final romance scene with a beautifully tragic story he'd been thinking about for god knows how long. but this only happens when they're sure they'll die, that they'll never see each other again, only after henry reminds hans again and again that he's cared for. and maybe it's too late but something needs to be said. often times they make jokes and tease each other, which could definitely have flirtatious undertones, but their true feelings show in serious moments, moments of danger, and of course when you pick the heart dialogue. the only time henry tries traditional flirting on hans is when you can learn how to give a compliment in italian, but even then he kind of fumbles for a more genuine one ("i am dazzled by your beauty" into "you look good"). henry drops the usual theatrics to assure hans that he will always back him up when he needs it. hans needs to know that henry doesn't stick w him because he has to, but because he wants to. and the best part is that this remains true even if you don't choose to romance him.

but aside from henry and hans, we of course have istvan and erik who have their own complicated relationship that includes something romantic. then there's npcs; novice lucas (kcd1), black bartosch, and herbalist barnaby (kcd2) (I'm not sure if there's any more, these are just the ones I'm aware of rn). the way all of these characters are written is Not forced and liking men is not their entire purpose, it's actually a completely optional thing to find out about these characters (investigate the monks who abuse lucas, talk w black bartosch instead of just training, and hang out w herbalist barnaby after fighting him. actually, even if you don't interrogate erik and istvan, you could completely miss the romantic undertones of their relationship and continue to think it's just father/son). and no, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying stories with gay or even trans characters can't be about that, it would be horribly hypocritical of me when my own trans-bisexual-ness fuels my own art, but that's not all we are and I believe we're doing ourselves a disservice when we keep ourselves stuck in the coming out story cycle.

we need stories that are more than our pain, especially now, and it's important that not only we create gay/trans art, but our allies do as well. we deserve to be seen and not have to keep our love under the guise of close friendship. and I'm sorry, but sometimes it's not enough to simply imply or queer bait. I feel like it's rare for stories to actually commit to showing that we exist and that we are capable of all kinds of love, too. to treat us like people and not fun little side quests. to not debate our existence or water us down to naive teens in quirky coming out stories. we deserve to have stories where we actually get to live and love.

and idk if warhorse is really aware of how impactful that decision was... the confirmation that the director saw something more intimate between henry and hans and hearing how the actors wanted to do it justice means a lot especially knowing the reputation warhorse had. and in the end the most unlikely people created one of the most compelling and beautiful relationships in recent years because they saw people first. it may seem like the bare minimum but it's appreciated regardless. people can cry and scream about how wrong it is to have gay people in the middle ages until the end of time. nothing can change the fact that we've been here and always will be.

too long; did read

I hate being sappy, but kcd2 pulled me out of the pit I was in because of the shit on the news and my own art block, and it has comforted and inspired me to continue my own work even if it never sees the light of day. kcd2 to me is what stories should be. there's no secret to why it's so good, because swen vincke said it himself at the last game awards: "[the formula] it's stupidly simple, but somehow it keeps on getting lost." a great speech that unfortunately means nothing to titan companies, but we know it's the truth. kcd2 is a success because it was made with genuine love, care, and respect for games, history, and people. it really is that simple.

10/10

[sephirothsplaything]

Can't Sleep?- Lottie Matthews

a/n: I miss my wife... it's hurting me physically.

super short blurb! reader just trying to keep it together

word count--540

LOTTIE X black fem! reader

SOMETIMES YOU ENJOY THE POINTED SILENCE OF THE WILDERNESS.

When everyone else was asleep, you’d come out here and let the darkness envelope you. It’s not comforting–No, those days were long behind you.

The best you could hope for was cover,at least then the nausea in your stomach would temporarily halt.

“Can’t sleep?” Lottie’s voice called out to you.

“How could I?” You respond before you can stop yourself.

But then again,you could never really stop yourself around Lottie.

Lottie hesitated for a split second before sitting in the dirt next to you,curling her knees under herself. 

“You're upset with me.” Lottie observed.

And while, yes, that was very much true, you found that staying mad at Lottie was impossible.

Lottie had dragged you along with Travis and Akilah to the caves;The ones filled with toxic fumes that you protested very loudly against. The hallucinations that followed were nothing short of traumatizing.

Then the constant nightmares that followed had become unbearable, hence why you were even awake right now.

Lottie released a slow breath before turning to face you fully and you had to fight all your instincts to keep your gaze directed to the ground.

“Why won’t you tell me what you saw?” Lottie’s voice was gentle like it always was.

Equal parts gentle and insistent.

“It wouldn't change anything, Lottie.” Your voice was flat. “It doesn't really matter.”

Lottie said your name softly and it forced you to meet her eyes–Not at all apologetic but enough sympathy in them for you to forgive her immediately.

“It matters to me.” Lottie said. “Talk to me.”

You were quiet for a moment and Lottie never averted her gaze from you. Somehow, the words spilled out like a water fountain.

“It was raining blood over me.” You began. “Only touching me.”

“It was sticky and gross but-.” You shook away the memory.

Lottie leaned forward,her body hovering beside you. 

“But what?”

“It was so warm, comforting me like a hug.” You said.  

Lottie’s eyes fluttered,humming out in thought. Her hand found yours as she held it.

No squeezing,no gentle rubbing of her thumb over the stop of your skin.

Just there.

“The wilderness favors you.” Lottie said. It made you snort.

“Or.” You said. “I inhaled too much poison gas and possibly have brain damage.”

“Why do you keep denying this?” Lottie asked, getting impossibly closer to you.

You weren't really sure what she was talking about anymore. 

“Sorry if I don’t buy your fanatical wilderness bullshit.” You snapped unintentionally. “I’m trying to keep myself from starving and not beating Melissa’s ass.”

 “I think you're scared of it.” Lottie said. “But it wants you Y/N.”

Her brown eyes fell to your lips and you nearly gave in.

Standing up abruptly, you brushed the dirt off of yourself. Your hands twitched at your side irritably.

“I've gotta get up early tomorrow.” Your voice was far off. “Mari needs my help with some stuff.”

“Right.” Lottie nodded,looking away from you. “I understand.”

And that was the end—As far as you could let yourself go.

You walked back to your tent without looking back,no matter how much it pained you.

Wilderness? Yeah fucking right.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 160 (Blast From the Past)

Felix pulled back anxiously as the blonde woman read his rights, a righteous anger creasing her dark brows. "Last I saw you, you floated up to me on my wedding day and begged me to run from my husband to join you as a ghost!"

"You what?" Lilith looked between them with a nervous smile.

"I..." Felix stammered. "I was still processing everything, Lil. I've had more than enough time to let go; it's been a century and a half."

"At least we hope so," she lamented, remembering they were here without Emit. She turned to the angry woman she suspected was her great-great-grandmother, Maude Alcorn Ruggbyrne. "Ma'am, do you know what day it is?"

The blonde cocked her head sideways. "July 13, 1920, of course! How don't you know that? Are you both dead?"

Felix reeled. "July 13th? You're certain?"

Maude pointed to a newspaper strewn across a nearby bench. "That's the paper I write for. Today's edition."

"We're a day early," he said to Lilith.

She frowned. "I must've set the wrong date on the device after we jumped from January 13th, 2020."

"What in blazes are you two talking about?" cried the blonde. "Felix, are you dead or not? And who in Watcher's name is she with all those nails in her face?!"

Felix and Lilith glanced helplessly between themselves. They weren't supposed to do anything that might change history, and they weren't supposed to tell anyone who they were, either. But Felix couldn't exactly lie to someone who knew beyond a doubt who he was. "They're piercings. Maude, and her name is Lilith Pleasant. She's my girlfriend."

"Your girlfriend!" she cried. "You...you were dead!"

"I was! For almost a century and a half," he said, leading the three of them to a nearby bench. "But a few years ago...In the future, I...I was still a ghost, and I made some friends who cooked up some ambrosia for me. You know how much I wished I could live again. Where I came from, Britechester looks pretty much the same as now, but it's been a long, long time."

"That old wives' tale about fish cakes is real?" He nodded, and Maude's face softened. "Why are you back here?"

"Lilith and I are helping a friend catch a time thief, but we overshot our landing by about 24 hours."

Maude looked at them as though they had two heads. "Felix, are you telling me tall tales? You sound like they just rolled you out of the asylum!"

"I promise it's not like that," he vowed. "But everything we tell you, we need to you to promise never to tell another soul."

"I'm a reporter, Felix! Telling the world the truth is my job."

"The world isn't ready for this. I'm not sure you're ready for this..."

"Spill it," she demanded. "Convince me your painted jumpsuits weren't issued by a psychiatric ward!"

"Could we go somewhere more private to talk? Maybe find a change of clothes so we don't stick out too much?"

Maude thought for a moment, studying Lilith with a discerning glare. "You're sure we can trust her? She looks spiky."

Felix laughed. "She's a lot like you."

Backhanded compliment or not, Maude appreciated the thought, studying Lilith with keen interest. "Berend's in Komorebi trying to become the first sim to scale the mountain, and Bruno's with his governess. I think she could fit into some of my roomier skirts."

Lilith laughed, unfazed. "She's not like me. She's more like Angela!"

"And who's Angela? Another girlfriend?"

Felix shook his head. "No, she's your great-great-granddaughter. And so's Lilith."

Maude's stunned expression remained until they'd made it to her two-storey home in Britechester. She lived here with her husband and three-year-old-son, but the elegant rooms were empty of voices when they entered.

Maude quickly found some clothes for Lilith to change into. "That hat hides the metal on your face quite nicely," she enthused.

Lilith forced a smile. None of the clothes she was wearing were her style, and she hated tucking her bright red hair under a hat. But she and Felix were stuck here waiting for Emit and the time thief to arrive the next day. She had to make the best of this.

Despite the rules they were supposed to follow, Felix and Lilith told Maude almost everything - about the ambrosia, about falling in love and Maude's connection to Lil's family tree. They showed her the time travelling device, and explained their mission to prevent a time thief from changing too much about the future.

But they didn't mention the young Landgraab behind the device - even in 1920, the name was too well known, and they'd promised Heather and Conrad they'd help protect him.

Maude listened intently, sitting before a portrait with her husband and young son - Lilith's ancestor, Bruno Ruggbyrne. "I never met my great-grandfather," said Lilith, but my grandmother Coral used to tell us he was the biggest charmer you'd ever meet."

"That sounds like Bruno." Maude smiled intently as she glanced at the portrait. "But Felix has been around a long time. It's a bit strange he's never found another soulmate except my own kin."

Lilith shook her head. "I think it makes sense. If he married you, my sister and I would have never been born. Bruno would have never been born."

Maude's face fell. "So this was meant to be? I was always supposed to be with Berend and you were supposed to live happily ever after with a girl with piercings in her face?"

"Lil's beautiful, Maude. She's your kin, after all."

"I think...you really love her," Maude said, rapidly processing this new information.

"I do. As much as you love Berend. Maybe more."

Maude smiled proudly. "My boss wanted me to quit the Times when Bruno came along, but Berend marched right downtown to insist I keep reporting to show our son what a hard worker looks like. When the boss promised to let me keep my job, Berend told him I'd take his job one day, too."

Felix was well aware of the future and he knew this was true, but he refrained from mentioning it. As long as things stayed the same, he didn't need to tell Maude what she would accomplish in her life. "I know I wasn't happy for you before, but a lot can change in a hundred-fifty years. I think you and Berend truly were meant to be."

"And I think Felix was always meant for me," said Lilith. "Before I met him I was stuck in a cycle dating an endless stream of losers and dreamers who didn't really care about me, but Felix showed me what it was to be really loved."

The corners of Maude's mouth turned upward. "Felix was always a good man. He let me pursue my career and didn't rush us into marriage, and I appreciated him for it every day...until the day he died on me. It's hard to overstate how important it is for a woman to be seen on the arm of a man to survive in this world, and after Felix' death, Berend offered opportunity. And I do love him, Felix. I know you said I never could as much I as I loved you."

"Maude, I was wrong. I'm sorry I tried to put you on the spot that day," said Felix. "You deserved better and you deserve this life. This beautiful house and your beautiful family suits you better than even I could have done."

She laughed. "You think you can date my great-great-granddaughter with that attitude? I know you, Felix. You were the best man I knew. I can see you haven't changed much, but I don't know you anymore. I don't know anything about this world you say you came from, with time travelers and computers and websites and eyeball phones, or whatever you called it. I don't know what a podcast is and my editor never puts my stories on the front page. Just his own tripe with spelling mistakes. A story like this could make my career overnight."

"If you tell anyone, you'll change the future in ways no one could possibly know," Lilith pressed. "Simanity doesn't figure out time travel until Emit appears in 2060. Even then, no one's saying much about it because it's so dangerous."

"That's why it's been so important to put the component together to catch the time thief," added Felix. "But if we get discovered here by anyone else, or you tell anyone about this, everything we've been though could be for nothing. Will you help us wait out our friend's arrival tomorrow?"

"I can't let you stay here tonight. My son and his governess will be home soon, and I don't know how to explain you to either of them, but I can help you find a room that'll let to unmarried men and women. I do need to work tonight at the Foxbury Jazz Club - why don't you come with me?"

Felix perked up at the mention of the club. "Foxbury Jazz Club was the place to see and be seen in the Roaring Twenties! I went once or twice, but never let anyone see me as a ghost."

"If you stick with Lilith tonight you shouldn't be recognized. Tonight's event's mostly out-of-towners who've come together for the Simlandia Builders' Club gala, and everyone's so well-known, they won't be looking at either of you. My editor wants me to take photos and sniff out content for the gossip page. You two could help me find a story to make up for the one I'm not allowed to tell."

Lilith, a loner at heart, didn't love the idea, but it would probably be a more interesting experience than sleeping on a park bench waiting for Emit to arrive the next morning. "I don't know any of the dances," she said sheepishly, but outgoing Felix grinned.

"I can lead."

"Berries!" said Maude with a grin. "I love the new jazz, and the Foxbury Club is heavenly!"

As they chatted, the front door opened and Maude stood, with a beaming greeting for Bruno and his governess.

"Mama!" Bruno raced into his mother's arms as the governess slipped quietly upstairs. "Mama we went park!"

"Did you have a nice time?"

"We threw rocks at pond!" Bruno laughed while he recounted his morning, looking up with curiosity when he spotted Lilith and Felix. "Who they, Mama?"

"These are friends of mine," said Maude, careful not to name either one. "They're going to work with Mama tonight to help me get a headline!"

"Mama Headline!" he celebrated, half understanding what it meant, but happy enough to join his mother in laughter.

Felix smiled at Maude with her son. He'd wanted children and a family of his own for so long, but he couldn't begrudge Maude for achieving her happy ever after. Not the way he once did.

"Motherhood suits you, Maude. Just as well as your career."

He felt Lilith's hand wrap around his own as they looked back to the portrait, and he wouldn't take for granted how their lives - or second lives - had thrived in recent years. In different timelines.

Felix knew his own happy ever after was just a proposal away. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 2.1 Summary

Gen 1 Start | Gen 1 Summary

FUN FACT: When I was putting together the newspaper, I looked up real history on July 13, 1920 and picked the weirdest piece of real news I could find. On this day in history, the US Postal Service had to ban people sending children through the mail because enough people were actually doing it.

WCIF: Thank you @deardiaryts4 and @matchalovertrait for letting your sims stand as models for the top right photo on the newspaper! I was so, so excited to play with them, you have no idea! And they look so good in some amazing period cc pieces, like Antoinette's La Maison Blanche coat by @javitrulovesims, Flapper Fabulous by Kiara Zurk (Antoinette's headband and Lilith's '20s hairstyle), Chorus Curls by Retro Pixels (Antoinette's hairstyle), Dmitri fashion set by @happylifesims (Antonio's hat), and happylifesims' Blessan jacket with @pleyita's matte trousers (Antonio's suit and Berend's portrait outfit in different swatches).

Lilith is in happylifesims' 1920s Cloche hat and Lady Mary's Day Dress, while Maude wears the 1920s Guest Dress in the family portrait on the wall. In the scene, she's wearing another happylifesims' Cloche hat and Day Dress 03. If you get the urge to set some scenes in the past or throw a costume party, happylifesims has incredible cc from many eras that I can't recommend enough. I couldn't have done any of this without their work.

I used @beto-ae0's Imperial Dynasty posepack for the portrait of Maude, Berend, and Bruno, and Maude and Bruno are posed in the living room with Guess How Much I Love You (Part 1) by @simmerberlin. The Ruggbyrnes' house can be found on the Sims 4 Gallery by JoaoDiBarro, and the Governess was aged up to elder and can be found on the Gallery by NMinnow.

And finally, I did not create Maude. A whole plate of cookies for after Iftari goes @purplesimmer455, who knew it was Maude when she showed up last episode! She guessed that this might be Mimsy, if not Maude - and fun fact - I used a Gallery-submitted version of Mimsy called 'Mimsy Von Haunt Teen Fix' and aged her up. I thought it looked nothing like OG Mimsy, while also resembling her just enough to be a sister (and the sim is beautiful), so Gallery-user mariuopole put up a good one!

I could not have put this installment together without the combined forces of everyone mentioned in one of my longest WCIF postscripts ever. Thank you so much, everyone!

[districtunrest]

ONGOMGOMGOMG. (share thoughts. any n all. you know i need to know. PLEASE!)

HAHA sorry. anyway:

I didn’t really like it and I’m sad about it. ☹️ even though there were some interesting ideas and cool new characters, I was taken out of the story too much to fully enjoy them. it read to me like the laziest (most rushed? least edited?) yet most forced storytelling of the series, which sucks bc it’s supposedly the REAL backstory of my favorite character. but I just couldn’t shake my doubt while reading that this was what we and Katniss were missing all along. too many details (that I memorized by heart as a tween and have made everyone’s problem since) didn't match up, even with the card-stacking*. so I just don't believe this was always the intended ‘real’ story when it’s so hidden from the trilogy... imo, SC went back to it with a mission statement in mind after recent current events (and, more tellingly, after Ballad) and did her thing. which is fine, that's her right - it's just, when this whole book seems more like a writing workshop thought experiment than the intended backstory, I will treat it as such. bc as it stands, all the callbacks & connections & Everlark parallels in the world cannot replace Katniss & Peeta watching the highlight tape of his Games, Haymitch telling them what he did was “almost but not quite” as bad as them with the berries, Katniss finally understanding who he is in that moment, and Haymitch later admitting the loss of his loved ones were because of "that stunt [he] pulled with the forcefield" (which is. simply not true anymore with all of his stunts in and out of the arena). like say no more, that’s good enough for me! it’s what I prefer and what I find more compelling than what’s revealed/subverted in Sunrise. and tbh that discrepancy makes Sunrise unfaithful, at least in my eyes, for all it relies on references to the rest of the series. 

now, obviously I had mixed feelings about this prequel in the first place, and my concerns/reservations mounted with each excerpt, only to be confirmed now... but I did try, okay!?? haha I’d told you and several others privately that I really wanted to like this book and I was willing to set aside my gripes if it was good - but it had to actually be good! instead, the book was exactly what I was afraid it was going to be *and* suffered a drop in quality. I found the narration underwhelming, dumbed down and repetitive, and not evocative of Haymitch's voice. even things I thought there was NO WAY would actually happen and I was just being paranoid - but then they did, lmao. like, it was a letdown for me personally *and* it didn’t even do it well enough where I could at least respect it and oblige, lol

overall, it was just too off for me. by answering and explaining so much, it ended up taking away a lot of the trilogy's charm and intrigue - and did so in a way that left a bad taste in my mouth. it made me view Ballad in a more negative light, too, tbh. so I think going forward I’ll just consider it a weird spinoff that is secondary to the main/trilogy canon. 🤷🏻‍♀️

(some more Haybitching under the cut)

tbh, what guts me the most is what SC chose to do with Haymitch’s voice & character, where she watered him down to what he needed to be for this lesson & this plot. it’s frustrating that the dangerous, cunning, arrogant boy that Katniss sees in the highlight reel and can easily recognize in adult Haymitch is all an act. the character we thought we knew is not present here, sacrificed to make yet another point about propaganda, and that’s a crying shame. and his deterioration in the final chapters is so underwhelming (as are the death scenes 🫣) - I've read that same story countless times but told better by people who love the character as is and weren't on a time crunch for a movie deal, I guess.

Sunrise!Haymitch skews shockingly immature and moralistic and hates the idea of being a sarcastic, selfish “rascal." but since when are we calling surviving and fighting to get home in an unthinkable situation selfish? that’s now assumed in Sunrise’s logic, where instead having a ginormous alliance against the Careers with no exit plan (big ‘WHAT IF ALL THE TRIBUTES BANDED TOGETHER AND DIDN’T FIGHT?’ energy) is much smarter and nobler than going it alone and heading in one direction to get to the edge for no reason other than bc nobody had tried it before and trilogy!Haymitch, we know, is an out-of-box thinker & strategist. I know he & Ambert were operating under the notion that they were going to lose no matter what and had their own plans (which. hmm) but it was just so oddly accepted by the Newcomers, too, who had no such threat from Snow. they were so willing to be selfless martyrs and band together when they all know at the end of the day there can only be one survivor - which was heartening in a way, sure, but it almost seemed trite? and again, needlessly moralistic in an established world like Panem, where these things happen every year...? not even self-righteous (Katniss' words but with Haymitch's backing!) Peeta 'not a piece in their games' Mellark thought so narrowly. Idk. I might have to mull that one over more. but anyway, then Haymitch trying to rescue Maysilee is turned into a mini redemption arc in post, when all it was in the first place was a glimpse into his protective & caring nature underneath all the bravado, which was surely part of Katniss’ deepening understanding of him. but Sunrise wasn’t interested in exploring that, either, or even honoring it. okay

and I can’t get over how SC had to kind of retcon the final pages of Mockingjay to fit Haymitch’s epilogue into it, which didn’t help how it already rang so hollow for me, I hate to say. it’s not even done well, containing the most rushed, wrap-up-everything-before-the-deadline writing I’ve ever seen from SC (and it STILL doesn’t read like Haymitch’s voice to me :/). some things can just be; they don’t need some big, loaded, tragic explanation. Haymitch can glibly call Katniss ‘sweetheart’ once, bc she’s been sullen & hostile to him and he is in fact sarcastic (the horror!), only for it to go on to become an actual term of endearment by the end - like, that’s lovely in and of itself. why weigh it down further? who asked for that? I know I didn’t. 

most insignificantly & pettily of all: geese do mate for life - as in monogamously, meaning they stay together until one of them dies. then, they mourn and find another mate. just putting that out there, lmao

*how tf was Haymitch able to kiss his token and set up a bomb and throw it over the edge and put his token back when we know he was convulsing from shock by the end? to where Silka was able to start staunching her wound as she waited for him to die? if him going into shock was taken from footage anytime after, the arena would've been quaking/on fire around him?? Idk fam. it just feels off.

[imnothungryyouare]

MARCH 19TH 2025

OH MY GOD I WANT TO KILL MYSELF.

I'm studying logic for the SAT (I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT) like we don't call it "the SAT" in Scandinavia) (whatever it'll work( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) and the cravings are INSANE.

I binged last night. I wanna say it was my dad's fault for pouring himself yogurt an hour before, but let's be real - I chose to eat all that shit. I could've gone to bed ∼midnight, kept my sleep schedule structured and gotten up at around 8 PM to study. I chose staying up to stuff my fat fucking face with peanut butter, cheese and bread instead. So yeah, that's what I'm dealing with rn (this is like my own personal hell😊✨😊✨💕😊💕✨😊✨💕) (I'm way past the honeymoon phase brO it's NOT coming back).

It wasn't like this a few weeks ago. I've noticed that starving's a fuck ton easier when you're in love / when you're fixated on somebody (you can be motivated by someone's rejection too lol) (TRUST ME). I don't know if it's the death of appetite from all the butterflies, or just the sort of nagging self-notion that you'll never be good enough for them -> (kind of removing all doubt / making you 100% convinced that you need to GET SKINNY, FAST)

That was a few weeks back, though. That's not now. Now I'm giving in to every urge.

I trust that ONE successful fast, JUST ONE, is enough to motivate me continually. Like the hardest part of making a good study schedule is facing up to the disgusting mess - the PILE OF ASSIGNMENTS YOU GOTTA CATCH UP WITH AND DO - that you've created from weeks of procrastination. After that, all you need's a good night sleep - you'll just get to work.

I've fasted for ∼6½ hours. If I go to bed right about now, I'll be sleeping on schedule.

. . .

I gotta be honest man I DON'T THINK I CAN TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE. Whenever I'm miserable (which would be ALWAYS😊😊😊 ), it's either because I'm hungry or because I'm NOT hungry. I'm n e v e r satisfied. The 4n0r3x1c part of me says "Well yeah, that's because your BMI's 21,20. You'll be happy when your jawline starts showing." but WILL I REALLY? Is my jaw even pronounced enough for the bones to show? I know people with my BMI who have no trouble at all getting their jawline to show.

Why would that make me happy? I know I'll be angry, depressed and insecure then too. It's not like my jawline starts showing, and everything turns into sunshine and rainbows. It's only a shame I can't rid myself of that conviction so long as I'm this weight.

What's there telling me I'll look better with a BMI of 17? What if I'm just ugly, FUNDAMENTALLY?

Would I be 4n0r3x1c if I wasn't? Would I have low self-esteem if I wasn't? Am I not going against evolution by depriving myself of this many calories? WHEN THEY'RE RIGHT THERE, ON THE TABLE NEXT TO ME.

If I was 1000000% certain this shit wasn't helping me - I'D STOP. But I have my objectives - I want to be romantically desirable. At least I think that's my objective. It's the one thing on my mind post-binge. And I don't need to be 100% certain that 4n4's gonna help me reach that objective for those nagging "YOU ATE TOO MUCH"-thoughts to appear. I just need to be 0.0001% sure that I run the risk of making my self un-loveable if I eat too much.