#can we talk about how fine he is augh

[karleksmumskladdkaka]

Diabolik Lovers Undead Rose Garden 🥀 Ruki Mukami

Do not repost!

[kineticallyanywhere]

"I shouldn't take up all the emotional space"

Normal I am BEGGING you to take up emotional space

[c0ffinshit]

Simon (John Q.) SFW AND NSFW Headcanons

a/n: i knew yall would like that so here are so hcs that i had that i can now share with the world

warnings: controversial, mentions of pussy eating, me speaking my truth

SFW:

okay, first off, this man claims to HATE modern music but… he has a soft spot for Fiona Apple

listen, this man is madddd and if he were a woman he would be a mean butch lesbian

he always drives you everywhere

even when you’re like “babe i can drive its fine” he’s like “no, i’ll drive”

he tells people his favorite movie is something film bro-y like fight club, but his favorite movie is something like little shop of horrors or when harry met sally

sorry im projecting

honestly, he is bad about talking about his emotions like homie doesn't have the words for it so he just gets angry

BUT he learns a lot from you about that

actually, you learn a lot from him too

he talks so highly of you, even before dating

like always talks about how he can hardly have a good and controlled day without you

if you two are a long distance away, he'll always call you and talk about your day

but even then, you two will stay on the phone for hours, just talking about whatever and how much you miss each other

always tries to be a sweet boyfriend and make you breakfast

expect he will burn it and the kitchen will be on fire

i will say this: simon is a sensitive boy, esp with people's emotions like if you're sad and crying about something you called 'stupid' he'll still hold you and tell you how not stupid it is

he HATES when you're upset, esp if he can't do anything to help you

he'll just sadly watch you til you feel better

and when you do, he'll get you your favorite blanket and stuffed animals and kiss you like the good bf. HE. IS.

sorry, my daddy issues are on full display *sobs*

definitely doesn't like it when you call him babygirl or pookie

even as a joke

the man doesn't get that

my man has an old soul IM SO FR

like he doesn’t really like modern TV or music

movies… that a different story

HE FUCKING LOVES MOVIES.

especially if it is like a movie musical or high fantasy (like lotr or hobbit)

maybe a comedy but like a comedy from like the '60s that is probably super offensive now

nfsw under the cut

NSFW:

first off, do i agree with the top allegations for simon? kinda.

listen listen, i only say kinda because of the fact that this man has angry ISSUES

like if you are being a brat, this man doesn’t hold back definitely into spanking for this reason

OKAY I HAVE A THING… when you two do it together, he is very… parental (if that makes sense)

like yes he is daddy we know but like he is the type to whisper “this is for your own good” as he spanks you

two words: BODY. WORSHIP.

this man will kiss and touch your body like it's your last day on earth

AUGH AND AND the look he gives you when he’s inside you FUCKKKKKKK

the look is filled with so much love and gratitude for you okay like this needs to be stated at all but like 8 inches

the type of 8 inches that hits against your cervix in the right way

AND ANOTHER THING when you two first get together, his libido is very low

which also means he is very easy to take care of

soooooo if you wanted to just do a blowjob, you hypothetically could

but then, like three or four months into dating, HORN DOG.

you're surpised when he isn't pressing against your while cuddling

but if anything, you’ll be the one getting head, not him

THIS MAN IS PUSSY WHIPPED.

like he will grab your thighs and pull you closer while eating you out he lovesssss hearing your moans when you're under him UGH

dude but like on the rare time like he will bottom, its lowkey kinda…

JOHN Q IS A SWITCH AND I WILL CONTINUE TO SPEAK MY TRUTH

this mfer groans like no tomorrow when he does bottom

soft,,,, begg…ing

like “you’re so good.” and then under his breath its “please keep going.”

also that boy has a praise kink with hints of degradation

am i saying that because i wrote a whole fic about it? yes. fuck yes.

im chewing at the bars of my enclosure

he gets so blushy when you look at him with your fuck-me eyes

COMMUNICATE WITH THAT BOY.

tell him what you want

tell him where you want it

tell him about your fantasies of him

he loves hearing your voice, especially when you talk in a soft and seductive voice

listen, the only reason i kinda don’t agree with the top allegations is because i believe JOHN Q IS A SERVICE TOP.

i've made my point very clear about that throughout this section

[paranormal-peri]

PARANORMAL PERI PROLOGUE

CW: Angst, Fear, Hurt, Unconsciousness, Capture.

————

��Hey kid, how about we head back? I have a bad feeling about this."

Peri followed behind his godkid through the halls and different exhibits of the museum,

in a human disguise of course.

He hated having to walk on two legs. Even with his wand as a cane, it would be much less exhausting and much more efficient to fly. If only that wasn't seen as "paranormal" to the human eye.

"Not now Peri, I'm so close."

Dev walked at a fast pace, relying on his peripheral vision to guide him as he kept his eyes on the screen of his tablet.

"What are we even looking for again? I could help you search. I can use my magic to-"

"Stop questioning me, you don't need to know, I don't want your help."

"All I’m here for is to help." Peri sighed.

It was strange to see Dev so set to do things on his own without skipping steps with a wish, especially to be out in a crowded public. He was usually so impatient. Maybe this was a good thing.

Maybe it would be a good thing if it wasn't so risky,

risky for Peri.

The highest possible coincidental inconvenience was at play.

Peri had noticed the strange presence of paranormal investigators at the scene.

They might have been here before they arrived, he wasn't sure, but they were much more prominent inside.

Maybe they are here for something in an exhibit? Surely they weren't here for Peri.

Multiple packs.

They hunted around like excited bloodhounds.

They interviewed passing civilians for clues.

They grazed the floors and walls with their Sci-fi looking technology.

They were so focused on their mission. They didn't hesitate to drop down to the floor or bump past others without a warning, not prioritizing how their obsessiveness and ignorance to social cues may make them look.

The clunkiness of some of their devices only caused more of a clumsy scene.

Nothing about them screamed professional, but they had the passion for success.

A success that led Peri worried.

He was a target.

Gulp

“Dev, I highly recommend that I help you search! What is it you need? I can wish it to appear! Let me help!”

"I already told you, I don't want your help."

Dev replied with a growing annoyance.

"Dev… in case you haven't noticed, there are… paranormal investigators around… who are looking… for paranormal beings… like… I don't know… Fairy godparents maybe?! With wands, and wings… and floaty crowny things?!"

"You'll be fine, you're in a disguise anyway. I need to get this done now!"

Dev snapped back with a growing frustration.

"Dev, kid… we. need. to. go. I need to go, but I don't want to leave you unattended in a public-"

“Augh! Stop talking to me! You are always over my head all the time! I wish you would just stay put! Stop following me around like a bug in my ear!”

Be careful what you wish for.

“I… sigh, as you wish…”

Wish granted

Magical lock

Left parked alone.

Peri watched in defeat as his godkid walked out of sight.

When did things all go so wrong? What was he doing wrong?

He just wants to do right by Dev, why did it feel like he was failing his kid?

Beeep beep beep beeeeeep

Peri was startled by the sudden beeping next to him.

"Good evening to you! You haven't seen anything strange around here, have you?"

An investigator nudged Peri.

"Haha, Strange? Strange? Uh, no, no, I haven't seen anything strange, why would I know about anything strange? That would be strange! I'm not strange! I'm human! Totally human, yeah, see? Haha..."

Nervous Peri. He needed to keep his cool. He wasn't good at acting human.

"Yeah, that's all good. I hope I didn't spook you. My name's Marcus, Marcus Wells. I work for the Galax Institute (unaccredited). Me and my colleagues are here to investigate a tip we got about some paranormal activity going on here. If you see something, say something. I don't bite, unless you're a ghost, haha!"

"Yeah, oh yeah, I totally get it, I haven't seen anything but I'll call if I do… or not. I mean I'm not a- um… what's that?"

Beeeep beeeeeeep beeeeeeep

"Oh, sorry, that's just my paranormal detection device. It goes off when it senses paranormal activity. I must be close! Very close actually…"

"Haha! Oh wow, yeah, that's weird, really weird, and… strange."

"Strange, Yeah…"

The human shifted into focus. He waved the tech in the air, then away, then to the ground. The beeping changed in intensity.

Oh no no no no, he was so close! This beeping sound was going to give him away! Peri had to hold it together, he had to play it off. He would walk away if he could, but he's not sure if he can. He was wished to stay put. Is there something in the rules about breaking something like that? He had to check the rules, but he can't just magically pull up the book while being inspected.

Marcus grazed the detection device across the floor, chasing the source of the sound until it tapped against Peri's shoe.

BEEEEEEEEEEP

"Holy mother of mac n' cheese! It's right under you!"

Marcus blindly shoves Peri to the side in an excited effort to chase the source.

But in this action, the hand used to shove held the tech against the chest of the purple haired human.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

No no no no no no no

PSHK- BOOM!

The device explodes against Peri's chest.

The two jolt back in pain and fall back from the burst. The ruptured box falls to the ground.

A slow realization filled the room with tension and silence.

It's all over, what is he gonna say? What can he say!? Nothing under this pressure!

"Ah! I know what you're thinking, but that was probably just a malfunction, I mean how old is that tech anyway?! ! I'm not strange or paranormal, I'm not a fairy, I swear!!

Glitchy soul.

Blue.

Red energy.

Magic failing.

Wings exposed.

No no no no no no no

"Ah! T-That's nothing! Those aren't real I uhh.. I'm uhh..."

Peri attempted to poof away his wings, but they wouldn't disappear correctly. Even when he finally got them to poof away right, his crown had appeared.

Poof away the crown-- the wings appear again.

Why wasn’t his magic working correctly?

"I uhh… I'm a… I'm a cosplayer! Yeah, Just a totally normal human doing totally normal human things! I'm not a real fairy or anything, I mean, would a fairy have totally real and normal legs?"

Stuttery sweaty mess.

His crown appears again. He staggers to swoosh it away. His totally real legs began to fail as well.

The fairy stumbles backward to the ground,

out from the locked standing place.

Their form was now fully exposed to the crowd.

Marcus remains silent in a state of shock.

"IT'S A FAIRY!"

Another human called.

No no no no no no no

Lights, Shouts, Camera, Action!

Chaos

No no no no no no no

They see him!

They see him as a fairy!

He is not supposed to-

He is breaking the rules!

What-?!

Peri quickly flies upwards to dodge a butterfly net.

No no no no no no no

Before he could even think about using his magic to disappear—if it would even work correctly this time—there was a sudden LIGHT that shot past him from behind.

Flash!

All he knew after that was falling.

He must have just lost balance.

It took a second, but his body finally responded to the sudden light.

A sharp wave of hot pain rippled through the veins of his wings.

Burning.

His body hit the ground with a sudden

THUD

His wand skids across the floor.

What just happened?!

Something felt so off.

Something felt so numb.

Something was missing.

Peri feels around the area radiating with heat and pain.

What-

My- my wing-?!

Horrified.

Part of his body was missing.

Where did it go?

He looked to the ground to see a spread of black dust and ashes.

His wings—at least most of one and the tips of the other—

De-atomized

“Be careful with that! You almost killed them!"

Marcus exclaimed.

“Isn’t that what we are supposed to do?! Fairies are dangerous! When you see one, you zap em'!”

“Sure, but wouldn't they be much more valuable alive? Think about how awesome it would be if we could capture them alive!”

“That’s a good point, very good point.”

No no no no no no no

He had to fix this.

This is why you always follow the rules.

Where's my-?

His wand was so far out of reach.

Peri buzzes and shuffles to quickly retrieve his wand, but stumbles down quickly in a shock of pain.

He couldn't fly over.

He needed to move quickly.

He needs his cane,

but that's what he is yet to retrieve.

He tries to stand on his own,

shaky from adrenaline and lack of stability.

His little heart was overworking itself in a state of panic.

But just when he thought he had it-

ZZT!

He jolted from a sharp pain in his leg and his body hit the ground.

Was that just his legs being weird to him again? Or was that-

Something else.

He looked back to see a metal jabbed into the back of his thigh, with a tuft of red at the top.

What is…

He pulled out the needle with a twitch of pain.

This?!

It was so big compared to his tiny hand.

This wasn't made for someone his size.

Whatever it was, the effects began quickly.

He could feel the cold foreign substance dispersing through his skin from where it entered.

He flickered his eyes in an effort to blink away the sudden feeling of drowsiness.

The fairy's breathing hitches in realization of what is going on.

What was this magic? What was it doing to him?

No, no, was he dying? If he closed his eyes would he not wake up?

No, he had to stay awake. He had to escape.

He had to get his wand.

His hands shake in panic, but his heart slows.

He struggled to stand, his legs were beginning to give out.

They began to feel numb.

He was stuck on the floor, fighting to keep his consciousness.

His body begged for rest, but he couldn't give it, not until he was away,

Not until he wouldn't be seen,

Not until he wasn't breaking the rules.

His mind was beginning to give out to rest as well.

Thoughts became sluggish and fogged.

His heart was slowed.

He was so close to the peace of sleep.

All he knew was his wand.

All he could see was his wand.

His peripheral vision had darkened and blurred. Shadows of assumable humans crowded around him.

He could still see his wand between the silhouette legs

It felt useless to fight the fatigue.

His head lay defeated against the cold polished floor.

But he couldn't give up.

N-no… I can't…

He tensed for movement and weakly lifted his head

…break…

He reached out to the blurred yellow glow in the darkness for one last try.

…Da Rules…

His hand and head rested against the floor for the final time.

Eyes rolled back and the squint of sight finally glued shut.

Darkness consumed his world.

The last sensation he could feel was the touch of hands wrapping around him before everything went numb.

—

What happens next?

Read Paranormal Peri on AO3

—

This was originally meant to be a flashback in one of the newest chapters, but I just decided to cut it out and put it as the prologue because that just made a lot more sense.

I actually plan to turn this prologue into a comic.

[coff33andb00ks]

🌈 + jack + red 😁😁🥰

eee yay my new love 🥰 (with an appearance by my current hyperfixation we love to see it)

warnings: minor injury, blood, not even close to a drabble (I cut out quite a bit, full Jack fic coming soon)

Your digital signature has been accepted, the hands shook and photos taken. Starting next year, you'll be driving full time for Mercedes. You're still in a daze as you make your way through the motorhome to George's room to tell him the news that no one else can know. His face creases in a delighted grin and his hug nearly cracks a few ribs.

"We're going to cause so much trouble next year," he says, still grinning as he takes a selfie with you to send to Carmen, who you know will be calling you soon to scream with excitement. No one's supposed to know until the official announcement during Singapore weekend, so of course everyone already knows, and after your call with Carmen you're smiling and nodding to everyone congratulating you as you make your way to the Alpine garage.

Esteban's excitement matches George's, and you agree to get drinks together soon with the gang before crossing the garage to where Jack's lying on his back under the car. Mechanics are with him and you lean against the wall to wait patiently while they talk about a setup for the coming race. One thing you've always admired about Jack is his serious intent to know everything about the cars inside and out. The first time you met him he'd been reassembling his new kart and had given you a toothy grin while explaining he had to know how it worked to know how to make it work. You'd sat next to him and asked him what one part did and he'd slammed his finger with his wrench.

You smile now at the memory of him, lanky and grinning like a dork. Your crush developed immediately, and even now after all these years you still have a crush on the man. You blink and the lanky kid is gone, replaced by a man with the same toothy grin unfolding his tall frame.

"There's my girl."

Augh. My girl. Those words will never not make you grin and blush and feel like a princess in a fairy tale getting her happily ever after. You push away from the wall, eyes on him, your spatial awareness completely gone because your only focus is on him, your very own Flynn Rider Eugene Fitzherbert. "Hey babe, I--"

Your grand announcement is cut off by a very un-princesslike curse word as you trip over a mechanic's foot. That spectacular superhuman reaction time that Toto loves to tout when he's talking about you? On vacation while you pitch forward, your arm catching on the car's rear wing.

"Cocksucking, motherfucking - fuck," you groan once Jack's helped you upright. Your arm feels numb but you can feel the blood already seeping through the sleeve of your shirt.

"No no no don't look," Jack murmurs but you're already twisting in his hold, stretching out your arm to see the crimson stain spreading.

"It's just a scratch," you promise weakly.

Ten minutes later you're in the medical center, watching the towel Jack had pressed to the cut slowly turn red as the team gets everything ready. It's more than a cut, you're gonna need stitches, and Jack sits next to you, pale and wringing his hands.

"When we get married I'm wrapping you in bubble wrap," he mumbles, rubbing at the drying blood on his fingers.

"It's fine," you insist. "I've had worse..."

He groans, looking even paler. "Don't remind me, please."

You're fine. He's a wreck. It's always like this. When he's had a minor injury you were the one fretting like a mother hen. When you had covid he was coming up with all sorts of home remedies to take care of every symptom.

"If you're this bad over a little cut how are you gonna be when I have a baby?" The words come out unfiltered and he slumps back with a whimper.

"We're adopting," he manages.

You can only giggle, startling the medics as they begin stitching your wound. "Deal."

[skele-bunny]

So I had talked about this with Hypnone about Dewdrop having his BPD splits usually directed towards Aether as he's Dew's FP...... Here's the ramble!:

Dew having a fp bpd split and not realizing after getting back from tour (stress trigger). Just absolutely head over heels for Aether again, idolizing everything he's doing, even smothering him with more physical affections then what he normally does, and just on this bliss train. It takes Aeth a second to figure out what's happening but it gets obvious when he's called in to the infirmary and Dew just drops

"Why? Why are you leaving me? What did I do?!" He just yelling, absolutely panicked and holding onto Aether before shoving him away, then back to holding him. "Don't leave me, please don't leave me." Cutting to "Fine! Fuck you, fucking leave and I don't want to see you!"

Aether just giving a quick callback while Dew is having a full meltdown on their bed explaining he has to deal with something more important. Just speaking calmly, going to one knee in front of Dewdrop.

"Firefly, I love you a whole bunch. I want you to realize you're splitting right now. Can you do that for me?"

"I'm not fucking splitting! I just missed you and now you're leaving me when I haven't done anything!"

Aether just takes his hand, wiping away his tears. "Yes, you are. I love you more than anything in this world and I'm not willingly leaving you. You know I'm on call for the infirmary all the time now, and I know you're upset, I know you're stressed out. I'm not invalidating anything you feel right now, okay? I already called them, I'm staying right here until you're better."

"But I don't want you to leave!"

"And why is that?"

And Dew is just hiccuping as his thought process slowly starts getting more clear and not just straight black, his hair no longer smoldering. "I... Because I just got home, and we only spent last night together. I'm not ready for you to go away..."

"I know, I don't want to leave either. Tell you what, how about this: you let me go to work for a while, and I'll tell them I need tomorrow off. No ifs-ands-or buts about it. We can spend the entire day together."

Takes a bit more reassurance as Dew starts crying again, but he finally agrees. Aether dresses him in his clothes, even putting his side of the beds pillows around him. Makes a quick trip to the kitchen and brings back Dew's snacks and drinks he loves, then a movie.

"Your job is to watch this movie, and when I get back you have to tell me about it, yeah?" He's smiling as Dewdrop nods back with his own smile.

"Yeah! I can do that."

Multiple kisses shared and more reassurances before Aether finally dips away. He gets back around 1 am, and he feels bad as Dew is still wide awake, now watching some random show that's on. He's just smiling, making grabby hands for Aether and instantly starts rambling about the movie, snuggled right on his chest as he just babbles and babbles.

"Then Phillip gets really upset and ended up firing Dell, and then as time passes he ends up being called back by Maggie because Phillip is in a really bad depression and they repair their friendship, and then it cuts to the first scene where they're getting pulled over and it just- AUGH! It was such a good movie!"

Aether is smiling the entire time and holding him, kissing his cheek. "I'm glad you liked it! It's one of my favorites. By the way, I got us dinner plans for tomorrow, sound good?"

"Yeah!" Dew just looking up with half a smile. "Thank you for... You know... Dealing with me."

"Hey, I'm not 'dealing with you', I'm loving you. That's what a husband does!"

[torscrawls]

The Suspicious Wayne Family

Summary:

“Well, several of them have come back from the dead so I just had to check it out for myself!”

Tim felt himself go cold. “…How do you know that?”

“Ghosts take note if someone manages to come back from the dead, you know?” Phantom leaned in and lowered his voice as if sharing an embarrassing secret, “It’s a terrible faux pas.”

Phantom comes to Tim with some concerns about the Wayne family. Tim really isn’t ready to deal with this.

Words: 2 023

Can be read on AO3!

-

“Augh!” Phantom groaned as he slumped across Tim’s desk in the Watchtower, utterly ignoring the fact that Tim was very much in the middle of work.

Tim, used to several dramatic siblings without any concept of personal space, simply sighed and tried to shove him off the desk. “Can you go be dramatic somewhere else? Some people are actually trying to get some work done.”

Phantom ignored him as he fused himself halfway into the desk, preventing Tim from depositing him onto the floor, much to Tim’s annoyance. Instead, Phantom groaned and splayed his arms wider, completely blocking Tim’s view of the screen. “You wouldn’t believe what just happened!”

Tim heaved a deep sigh as he gave up on work for now, leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms, and asked, “Alright, I’ll bite. What happened?”

Phantom immediately perked up. “Thanks for asking! You see, I was minding my own business—”

“Getting up to your usual shit,” Tim muttered under his breath as he sipped his coffee.

Phantom ignored him as he continued, “—when I ran across this huge house and there was this guy inside, which I know isn’t that strange by itself. But! He was reaaal big, and he had this white strip in his hair, which, I know, is a bit hypocritical for me to comment on, but this guy looked like such a try-hard—but anyway, he just attacked me on sight! With guns! Sure, they were regular guns, not ecto ones, so you know, I was fine, but still! So rude!”

Tim choked on his coffee. A huge and angry guy in a big house with white in his hair? That sounded awfully familiar… Hadn’t Jason mentioned that he would drop by the mansion today? Tim coughed to clear his throat and then managed a weak, “That’s… weird.”

Ah. So that’s what Damian had meant when he called in a disturbance in the air earlier. They hadn’t believed him since the cameras hadn’t picked anything up, but if it had been a ghost… Maybe he owed his little brother an excuse. Not that he would ever admit that to said little brother, but still. And that also meant that Phantom had definitely been in the Wayne mansion.

Tim sucked in a deep breath. “That’s definitely worrying.” Phantom didn’t need to know that he wasn't talking about him getting attacked by a sword. Why the fuck had Phantom been at their house?!

Phantom nodded with a laugh. “Right? We didn't even know each other yet! Usually people don’t attack me with a sword until I’ve at least introduced myself first. Or, well, not always, but I can usually at least figure out why they attack me, you know?”

Tim didn’t know and decided not to comment on that worrying statement, instead focusing on gathering information instead. Familiar territory and all that. “What were you even doing in a random big house in the first place?”

“Not just any house!” Phantom wagged his finger. “They’re the Waynes! Which, okay, I didn’t really know a lot about them but my friend said that they are famous or something. And I believe her! The house was like a mansion!”

“Alright,” Tim allowed, congratulating himself on how unbothered he sounded as he parsed through Phantom’s excited rambling. “Why were you in the Wayne mansion, then?”

“Well, several of them have come back from the dead so I just had to check it out for myself!”

Tim felt himself go cold. “…How do you know that?”

“Ghosts take note if someone manages to come back from the dead, you know?” Phantom leaned in and lowered his voice as if sharing an embarrassing secret, “It’s a terrible faux pas.”

“Right. Of course.”

“Yeah!” Phantom nodded before pausing with a frown. “Wait. How do you know that they have died?”

“Of course I do. I’m a detective in Gotham and they are well-known in the city.”

“Hmmm…” Phantom trailed off, and Tim was tensing up in preparation for an argument, but then the ghost perked up as if remembering something. “And Bruce! Bruce Wayne! I’m pretty sure he trains his kids to be like child soldiers or something. Maybe he even uses them as his minions in secret evil schemes!”

Tim felt himself start to sweat. “Let’s—let’s talk to Batman about this.”

“The Gigabat? Why?”

“He might know the best approach.” Might know any approach, cause Tim certainly didn't.

“Alright. Sure,” Phantom agreed easily and followed as Tim hurried out into the corridor, seemingly blissfully unaware of the panic he had caused.

How on earth had they been noted by ghosts without knowing about it? How had Phantom managed to stumble upon this information? If had managed to find the mansion, what else had he managed to put together…? Had he seen the cave?

Tim pushed upon the door to Bruce’s office and walked in as confidently as he could manage at the moment. “B? Phantom has some… concerns he wants to bring up.”

Bruce had turned away from his screens as they entered the room, no doubt ready to admonish them for disturbing him, but something in Tim’s voice must have tipped him off that something was going on because he turned fully towards them and simply demanded, “What is it?”

Phantom didn’t waste any time before bluntly stating, “I think we should investigate the Wayne family. I think they might be a crime syndicate, possibly even supervillains.”

It wasn’t often that Tim saw Bruce at a loss for words. Tim couldn’t blame him as he himself had to restrain himself not to visibly wince at Phantom’s words.

Phantom on the other hand seemed not to notice as he continued, “I thought you would like to know, what with them being in Gotham and all? Really, I’m surprised you didn’t know about them already.”

“Why would you assume they are supervillains?” Bruce asked and Tim was impressed by how calm he sounded.

“Oh, well, you know… The kids all have obvious combat training, the house is riddled with weapons, and the family seems awfully involved with all the major catastrophes in Gotham as well as all the major villains,” Phantom said casually before pausing as he tapped a finger to his lips in thought and adding as an afterthought, “and, of course, because of the secret lair beneath the mansion.”

Well, that answered Tim’s earlier question whether he had seen the Batcave or not. He was very grateful for Bruce and his frankly terrifying poker face as the older man just said, “That’s quite the list…”

Phantom beamed. “Thank you!”

“And why did you start investigating them?”

“Well, on top of all the gossiping grannies mobbing me in the Zone to talk about the young men using the afterlife like some sort of revolving door, I know a thing or two about evil billionaires with hidden identities and Bruce Wayne just screams secrets, you know?”

Bruce didn’t answer, Tim just stared. Phantom clapped his hands, “So. When are we starting the investigation?”

Bruce shook his head, took a deep breath and said, “We’re not investigating them.”

Phantom looked surprised for a split second before raising a single eyebrow, “Is it because he’s so rich? Oh! Is that why you have so many expensive gadgets?”

“What.”

“I mean, that’s why you want to look the other way, right? Because he pays you?” Phantom turned wide eyes on Tim. “All of you?”

Bruce simply stared as Tim managed a weak, “No?” Even if, technically, he was getting paid by Bruce Wayne.

Phantom leaned in closer to Tim and whispered. “Do you guys need help? I’ve beaten up billionaires before, I can do it again.”

“Thanks? But no thanks. Please don’t beat up Bruce Wayne.”

Phantom gasped, turning back to Bruce with way too much delight in his eyes. “It’s consensual? Wait. Does that mean he's your sugar daddy?!”

“This conversation is over.”

“What?! Why?”

“You can’t come in here with baseless assumptions about civilians and expect me to play along.”

“Alright. Not your sugar daddy, I get it,” Phantom said with a wink towards Tim, “But I thought you guys would want to at least look into it a bit more?”

“They Waynes are not a problem,” Bruce all but growled out.

Phantom raised an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?” The words said as a challenge but Tim could see no anger or annoyance in Phantom’s expression, hear nothing but glee in his voice. It was as if he didn’t want Bruce to really look into them, as if he was just looking to rile him up.

Something about the whole situation made Tim pause.

It was a bit strange that Phantom came to them with this, wasn't it? He had no reason to think that they were connected to the Waynes by more than the city they lived in. He usually did his own thing, and he had done that by going to the mansion at first, hadn't he? So what had changed? Why had he decided to involve Tim?

The glee, the probing questions, the way he slowly revealed more information… It was almost as if he—

“Wait a second. You know!”

Phantom burst out laughing. “Finally! Ancients, I thought you would see through me in like one second flat!”

Tim punched him in the arm. “You’re such an ass! I can’t believe you!” Phantom just kept on cackling.

Unsurprisingly, Bruce seemed to catch on pretty quickly as he stood up from his chair, looming over Phantom threateningly. Or trying to, as Phantom was still floating a good few feet in the air. “And you figured this out from other ghosts?”

Phantom snorted and wiped at his eyes. “Mostly. Contrary to popular belief, the dead do talk. But I wouldn’t worry too much about it, not many of them ever visit the Human Realm and I can guarantee that they have no idea who you are. They are not up to date when it comes to human affairs.”

Bruce frowned and Tim immediately recognized his patented brooding face. “That’s a security risk I hadn’t considered.”

It must have hurt him to admit it, but Tim couldn’t really take any joy in it; he was right there with him. Tim groaned as he dragged a hand through his hair. “Aren’t they supposed to not tell any secrets?!”

Phantom laughed, shaking his head. “Oh, they very much do.”

“Well, considering a certain someone, I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise,” Tim said with a pointed look at Phantom.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?!” Phantom exclaimed in mock anger. “Have you guys considered not dying? I mean, man, I thought I had a problem with staying alive.”

Bruce cut them off with a no-nonsense, “You will not tell anyone about this.”

Phantom mimed zipping his lips shut. “Silent as the grave.” Then he pursed them in thought before adding, “On one condition.”

Tim saw the way Bruce tensed and couldn’t help the way he himself also tensed with anticipation. Phantom could ask for anything.

“What?” Bruce asked bitingly.

“I want some of those cookies that were in the oven. They smelled amaaaazing!”

Bruce silently turned back to his monitor, not gracing that with an answer. Tim grabbed a hold of Phantom’s—thankfully currently corporeal—arm and dragged him from the room as he said, “I’m sure Alfred would love to give you some cookies. You can come over for dinner and we can talk.” Tim paused and then continued, “And you can explain what’s going on to Jason and Damian. I’m sure they’re both freaking out.”

“Non-living dinner?” Phantom asked hopefully and the bizarre question almost made Tim stop walking.

“Yeah? Alfred usually cooks it first.”

“Sure, but, you know, does it stay dead?”

“Yes?” Tim asked with equal parts incredulity and dread.

“Alright!” Phantom beamed. “Count me in!”

Tim had a feeling that he had just made a grave mistake.

[crsssie]

from one admirer to another : fried?

pairing: leon kennedy x reader || masterpost: from one admirer to another

synopsis: from one admirer to another, an online penpal service, allows for two people with common interests to write to each other without ever revealing their actual address! Luckily for both you and Leon, you get matched up! What do eggs and Christmas even have in common anyway? sure hope it's that modeling business and NOT that Ada Wong addiction.

featuring: reader as scrambled eggs // leon as christmas

Dear scrambled eggs,

Happy Paris Fashion Week. I'm walking this year (finally???) but not the same show as Ada. I ended up cast by a different brand than her, which makes sense since we don't exactly share the same genre of face. Also, she's in Paris for shoots while I'm here to walk. Women and men's fashion week aren't even the same week. I found that a little sad. Also, my agent got me on some sort of makeup from my makeup artist and somehow he's made me look 29 like hello?? I am a literal child ?? (I'm not. but im still in my early twenties).

My letter this time is going to be short (again) mainly because I need to mail this internationally and I'd like for you to send me a letter to my airbnb (the host gave me the keys).

I speak Spanish and literally no French, so when a lady in a shop was talking to me I could only shake my head and tell her no in Spanish and I still have no idea what she wanted. I guess we'll never know.

Right. The last walk was alright. I got to walk with the model, but I got a death glare from their friend bc I swear I felt my soul slip out of my body. Like, sorry your friend is hot??? Sorry I'm no better??? :((( What's it take for a guy to score a date these days? I ALSO did not get their number again. Can you believe that? I turned around and they disappeared into thin air! AUGH.

Anyways, I'm sending you one of the luxury-brand paris postcards I received as a small gift. Hope you like it.

What are you up to the month that I'm stuck in Paris? Christmas

Leon finishes walking his show, backstage with a handful of models he's met here and there, mainly sticking with the group of raccoon models. Everyone's sharing the same Airbnb. It should sound like hell, except most people have their own room, and somehow it's the greatest blessing on earth because he knows Ada would ruin his life if he even thought of asking her about you.

His letter is mailed out first thing, shitty translator in hand as he's told Reverso is the better of translators for French, and he gets it mailed out with a quick wink from the old lady at the post office. He's sure she did it because he's on the more attractive side and not the fact that he's sending a letter to his penpal like some middle school boy. He should get over that crush on you too.

He starts his last walk of this fashion week, meeting new people to have a quick talk to, adding private accounts and getting to know a handful of other Ada fans at his last walk. It's the only one where he even gets to see Ada, and her walk is... no joke. Hatred be dammed that woman can strut. He wonders if there's another universe where he didn't accidentally get shot through the heart the first time he met her best friend.

The more Leon paid attention, the more he seemed to understand that one of the main reasons your contract got off so easy was because Ada had requested it. Some people even call you a result of nepotism. Well, not that you seemed to like the job all that much. Dare he say it, to you, modeling was just a side hustle.

How nice it must be to be in a position like that.

When the models finish up at the show, Leon's told he has a shoot the next day, and then a handful of shows scattered nearby. They're making him go to Spain for a handful of days for a photoshoot with Ashley, and then he's practically free for the rest of the time. He's sure it's because his manager's girlfriend wants to hang around the city. Leon's more than fine with staying in the city. It'll be a good break.

Shame though, he misses Sunny.

prev letter : masterlist : next letter

[edwinspaynes]

Okay, I gotta do this for my own sanity because it's word vomit time. Song of Achilles rant. 0/5 stars to this one.

Okay. I am not a fan of war stories or of tragedies. This was both of those things. So I will admit that this was perhaps not my genre. THAT BEING SAID, I can usually point to a tragedy or a war story and go "that was objectively good/well-done, but not my thing." This was neither good nor well-done.

The main appeal of this book - its 'heart,' if you will - seems to be the ""love story"" between Patroclus and Achilles. Unfortunately, I'm leaving the book with 0 understanding of what they like about each other. Achilles was lowkey an enormously terrible person. Patroclus KNOWS THIS. He just is an idiot who continuously gives him the benefit of the doubt over and over again. Achilles sends girls off to be raped. He kills an enemy and drags his corpse around for ??? reasons besides he can. Patroclus is sitting there just going "O! His blond cascading waves! Wow!! He is everything to me my SOUL ahhh." Their emotional connection is deeply shallow in how it's written.

ANYWAY fine. Whatever. The narrative also deeply hates women. The only important female characters are a) Achilles's goddess mom who's continuously villified, and b) a slave girl (the only character I actually liked, RIP) who randomly dies at the end for no reason other than shock value. Women are sent off to be raped continuously; the narrative justifies this. I understand that in times of war back in this time period this actually happened, but I am baffled by the author's seemingly constant attempts to portray this POSITIVELY. Achilles himself is just like 'yeah, this girl's a bartering chip!" and Patroclus, while he's not cool with it and does go save the girl, totally rationalizes this and the author clearly thinks it's justified !!????

No.

And let's talk about that shitty ass pacing. Nothing happens!!! For half the book!!! And then they all go to war and the ONLY reason Patroclus is there is because he wants to follow Achilles. Because they share a 'so devoted the lines blur' Bond apparently, like Will/Jem or Charles/Edwin. News flash. They will NEVER HAVE A BOND ABOVE BONDS LIKE WILL/JEM OR CHARLES/EDWIN.

Anyway!!! Whenever Patroclus talks about Achilles, it's just like oH My gOd hE'S bEaUtIfUl. Okay bro!!! We get it!! Y'all have to have sex ALL THE TIME because this is Madeline Miller's shitty yaoi fanfic of Greek Myths!!! Greek myths are deeply gay which is great, but NOT LIKE THIS! It's giving a middle schooler who just finished Junjo Romantica and Percy Jackson and decided to write a crossover fic. And, yes, the prose is that bad. It's so fucking simplistic. I cannot even.

I hated this book. I hated this book painfully. And I cannot believe that I accidentally gave one of my favourite of my own fanfics a title from it. I like, want to go change the title. I just used it because I liked the quote. AUGH.

Would give this negative stars if I could. I do not think I've disliked a book this much since Queen of Air and Darkness, and at least Qoaad had, like, some funny moments and didn't hate women.

[live-moonzie-reaction]

LETS GOOOOO DRS2 PART 2

-*yawns* WAS THAT A S I G H OF DISSENT????

-love how nobody notices the two teenage ninja JUMPING ON THEIR CUBICLE WALLS

-How did I know Sora was gonna land on Arin

-What you need??? What do you need???

-THEY FOUND JAY’S LAST NAME

-ITS QUASHING TIME!!!

-and we back to Lloyd’s Moonwatcher arc I’ve missed this

-hmmm gee i wonder Lloyd what kind of being, presumably some sort of embodiment of evil, has enough power to move a dojo. (Moonkitti voice) Gee Fireheart what a mystery

-also can I just say I LOVE that the first scene of the OG 6 ninja is of Lloyd and Nya I just love them as a duo

-WYLDFIRE AHXJDNCNFBFB

-…oh. Oh she’s coping… well…

-GOTTEM

-Nya: I’m sure they’re fine.

(Cut to Arin and Sora dangling in a giant birdcage over a pit of lava)

Arin: Huh. Apparently this is a canon event.

Sora: THIS IS A WHAT???

-okay so i was close

-That one agent: (rips off own arm)

-“THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE FEET!”Implying he has more than two

-THE SUBTITLES SAID MATRIARCH THUDS OH NO

-subtitles written by Queen Scarlet frfr like.

✨Thrilling✨ music plays

(Thrilling music plays, in plain text)

-OH IS SHE DEAD?!? OH IS SHE DYING??? OH SHE’S DYING

-ahhh his name is Nokt is it?

-“everything is war” “the fight is what fuels me” ah response

-“bEcAuSe I dOnT tRuSt YoU”

-Jordana’s lil smirk at Nokt is SENDING ME

-Lloyd hears something from the Matriarch???

-oh and then immediately she dies oOp

-WOW IT REALLY IS A MOONWATCHER ARC HUH?!?

-ANOTHER BABY!!!

-Lloyd getting yoinked like a hatchling by Zanth just added ten years to my lifespan :D

-poor Riyu shxkxndkfjgnfb

-oh my gosh not these guys again smh

-I’m sorry but Freebooters just sounds so stupid to mefor no reason

-THANK YOU NYA

-As someone who’s read MANY books I don’t think a lack of books is the problem here

-🎶aNd vLaDiMiR cOlLeCtS cErAmIc UnIcOoOoOoOrNs🎶

-BRO IS SO FIRED UP OVER THR MATRIARCH WE LOVE HIM you know what’d be funny

-WYLDFIRE AS A ROCKETBOOSTER

-aaand there’s the mountain dragons

-sad mountain dragon hours

-so is Lloyd being the diplomat to the dragons… pUrPoSeFuL or…?

-MOTION!

-L L O Y D YOU DONT JUST SAY THAT SHXKSNFKTJTHF

-I’M SORRY A SOURCE DRAGON D I E D?!?

_______

-SHE CALLED HERSELF THE RED NINJA AUGH

-NYAS HERE

-NYA BEING WYLDFIRES COOL AUNT

-O h s h e ’ s c o p i n g w e l l

-“maybe being trapped forever in the nether-space isn’t that bad?”

(Cut to Kai in the nether space)

Kai: (Bo Burnham voice) HOW WE ALL FEELIN TONIGHT?!?

-once again, hey I was close

-P I E F L A V O R

-“your best friend?” AAAAAAGH

-SORA HE DOESNT HAVE AN ELEMENT

-ARE WE BACK TO RONTU AND EGALT?!?

-…okay new voice claim for Darkstalker

-YEEEEAAAAAAAAAH ZANE AND LLOYD!!!!!

-excited Lloyd hours :D

-also is it just me or is the voice filter on Zane just cranked up more and more every season lately?

-it’d be SO FUNNY if Rontu and Egalt somehow knew Wu or at least interacted with him in the past

-NO.

-OH LLOYD’S GOTTA TEACH EM. Well this’ll be fun

-Rontu’s lil head shake dhekcbeckngk

-ZANE’S SO EXCITES IN THE BACKGROUND LOOK AT HIM

-After sixteen seasons someone calls him Master Lloyd again

-Rontu: (gives speech about Lloyd’s heart being too big)

Lloyd: geez man I wasn’t expecting to be psychoanalyzed today 😭🤚

-Egalt: eh it’ll be fine

(Cut to everyone with BOWLS ON THEIR HEADS)

-STEWJITSU WXHIECJICEB buddy no 💚

-somehow I feel like the pressure’ll break him or turn him evil or something

-“you’re never useless, Arin” snxkdnckgngng I’m so soft

-Arin’s so excited shxbdkfmgb

-EUPHRASIA!!!! :D HER!!! :D :D :D !!!!!!

-ooooo she lookin shifty 👀

-so many. So many.

-I read the subtitles first and thought he said “Master of Ledgering” andjckfngbgv

-smh they can’t even go in???

-book guy with the professional talk and then Wyldfire just. “My dude.”

-Huh. Apparently either shade and shadow are two different elements or Shade had a kid.

-JAY ON THE ELEVATOR THEME RETURNS FOR ALL OF ONE SECOND

-“You’re intruding on OUR intrusion!” I love Wyldfire‘s dialogue so much

-HE UNDERSTOOD JIRO!!! AAAAAAAA!!! AAAAA!!! AAAAAAA!!!

-Oh that’s RIGHT Wyldfire’s acrophobic

-WE HAVE A BEATBOXER NOW??? (giddy acapella kid noises)

-I love Roby already shxkdngbfv

-WE FINALLY FOUND THE FUSCHIA NINJA LETS GOOOO

(starts braiding hair (two braids, don’t worry) and doesn’t write for multiple episodes)

-(pauses braiding) ohhh no Frak did it didn’t he the master is Ras’s master

__________

-ohhh now I see it no yeah Arin’s going evil sorry

-…the writers did realize we were KIDDING about the Wyldfire boyfriend thing right?

-oh suddenly I do not like Roby is it just me or does it feel like he’s not gonna give the powers back

(One band concert later)

-ELEMENTAL MASTER OF PLANTS JUST THINKS HES REALLY GOOD AT GARDENING THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO SEE!!! people with powers being oblivious to them the beloved

-Nya IMMEDIATELY chatting with the other elemental masters is GOLDEN “LIKE THE HAIR! :D”

-Is Jordana possessed or smth?

-Wyldfire snarling :D

-Wyldfire being angry at Cinder noice noice

-the perspective makes it look like Nya just casually touches the edge of the fire and that’s really funny to me

-poor Lloyd just wants to make friends man

-OH YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME

-BEATRIX IS JUST HERE NOW WHXJDKCMFKGN

-HOLD ON THIS IS ZEATRIX?!?

-Girl I SAW the spirit dragon you TOTALLY WERE INVITED

-okay for once I’m on Ras’s side here lol I just wanna see people tear down Zeatrix

-wait hol up it’d be REALLY funny if Lloyd decided to sass her the way he just sassed a SOURCE DRAGON EARLIER

-Okay I now want to see a spin off series of shorts a la Wu’s Teas called Nya’s Awkward Dinners

-Zane: (shuts door nicely)

-Well. Uh. Wyldfire boyfriend. Unfortunately the only version I have on hand of this meme is this one so

-how funny would it be if this was a Harumi situation and Roby’s the one who killed the matriarch

-Man I thought for SURE we were gonna get Lloyd Plagued By Visions TM

-WHAT IS THAT GOO AND WHATS IT GONNA DO TO LLOYD

-OH.

-THE LIL ZING SOUND EFFECT WHEN LLOYD USES HIS POWERS MY BELOVED

-ARIN WITH THE GRAPPLERRRR WOOOOO

-“I WAS ACTUALLY GETTING A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP FOR A CHANGE >:(” he’s so silly

-OH COME ON THESE GUYS AGAIN???

-okay it’s Zeatrix

-No. absolutely not. There’s no way.

-Zant-Tanz: Unfortunately, we have an impostor among us.

-J A Y !

____________

-j a y shxjskdkfnfn

-WE GET TO SEE THEM DANCE?!?

-Lloyd you weren’t even IN spin harmony

-OHHH IT GOT SAD :(

-Poor… POOR Nya…

-You. You do realize he could’ve set one on himself to throw himself off the trail right.

-I DO NOT TRUST FRAK

-I’m glad Riyu also does not trust Frak lol

-She’s looking for Roby she’s looking for Roby

-AAAGH just when I thought she couldn’t get any more Peril-coded she pulls this shxnskcnfjgb

-Awwww Cole and Geo :)

-Sora: (very obvious cat ears slowly lower)

Jordana: understandable have a great day

-I KNEW IT I KNEW IT FROM THE BEGINNING

-“I wouldn’t lie to you Arin :3 Except for that one time with the object Spinjitzu at the blood moon but all the other times I wouldn’t lie to you! :3 :3 :3”

-it’s the overlord again isn’t it /hj

-WYLDFIRE JUST APPEARING

-Now… hear me out… destruction is an element… 🤨📸💚💜

-oh boy Zane’s up first

-“I am limber. I am loose. (chuckles) I’m in danger!”

-Zane so help me you gotta ice rink it

-NOOOOOOOOO ZAAAAAANE

-ohhh Zane :(

-Wait. If Arin’s gonna be a detective because he can’t compete, ZANE now can’t compete, and Zane already has a detective persona… 👀👀👀

-oh it’s Nya vs Jay isn’t it

-GOSH DANGIT WHY DO I HAVE TO BE RIGHT

-ohhhh 😭😭😭

-some loser in a Jay wig 😭😭😭

-bLiNgEd OuT dAgGeR

-Oh poor poor Nya

-SILENT FIST IT NYA COME ON

-oh geez Nya’s just going THROUGH it

-Nya won but like STILL

-STOP IT I’M BAWLING AUGH

-AAAAAAAAAAUGUFUFHFHFHGHDUXHGH

-I will never be okay again

-The presumable leader of the forbidden 4/5 is just sitting there and Kai’s first and immediate instinct is “Helloooo? BOO!”

-Riyu just hearing Kai’s voice in his head dhcnxkfmgngb

________

-OF COURSE CINDER HAS A SLEEP MASK WITH HEARTS FOR EYES

-SAD JAY HOURS AGH

-sad :(

-oh. OH. OHHHH THIS IS WHAT TURNS HIM TO THE RAS SIDE

-Lloyd 🤝 Riyu: DRS2 Moonwatcher arcs

-Ooooof good luck Sora

-OKAY WE GOOD WE GOOD

-WYLDFIRE!!!

-oh c o m e o n he did that on purpose for SURE

-…from Ninjago to Cam Half Blood REAL QUICK

-WYLDFIRE DOWN WYLDFIRE IS DOOOOWN

-sad Wyldfire hours

-O H T H A T S I T

-anything can be a verb if you try hard enough

-they’re gonna get found out they’re gonna get found out

-Riyu being mid Moonwatcher arc (yes I’ve gotta keep up this bit now) is gonna be interesting for the investigation lol

-THEY GOT FOUND OUT

-Sora you jinxed it

-okay Ras you shut up

-NOOOOOOOO

(Stops because quiet hours and cannot emote)

-AAAAA AAAAA AAAA AAAAAAA

-OUGH poor Arin :(

-NO WHY WOULD YOU EVOKE THE FSM BLOODLINE EVIL STUDENT TAX

-ARIN NOOOOO

-…okay does calling the merge an act of evil feel oddly xenophobic to anyone else or am I an idiot

-Lloyd did not cause the merge that’s ridiculous abxjdkcmfbfb

-Okay Wu makes a LITTLE more sense I guess but still??? Was it really???

__________

-hang on how do we know Wu caused it???

-Arin: so I’m supposed to believe your some kinda hero?

Ras: oh, no, I’m just that one villain character everyone loves

Arin: idk man I think that’s Cinder. For some reason.

-SAVE THEM FROM EACH OTHER??? WHAT DOES THAT MEEEEAAN???

-Arin please tell me you heard that obvious evil laugh you were RIGHT THERE

-COLE YOURE LITERALLYTHE MASTER OF EARTH

-…never mind then

-sad Arin hours :(

-ARIN NOOOOO 🥺

-Aaaand Darkstalker Kai is back poor Riyu

-CMON PHRASIA YOU GOT THIS

-LETS GOOO LETS GOOO

-Euphrasia 🤝 Arin: Immune to sarcasm

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-LETS GO TOX!

-ooohh ooh that’s gotta hurt

-she’s been possessed by the one sleeping hasn’t she

-Arin, explaining the masks to Frak: (animus magic hours)

-oh and this is how he spinjitzu’s normally isn’t it

-woulda look at that. Oof.

-FRAK. FRAK NO.

-They’re fighting each other aren’t they.

-Don’t think I didn’t notice the writers giving up on ever naming Lloyd’s element ever again lol

-LLOYD HOURS! YAYAYA!

-PALEMAN CALLED HIM GREENIE ITS CANON NOW

-oh that’s his face. Huh.

-idk Roby last I checked he flirted with Geo

-Sora: Hey Arin! :D

Arin: (angy)

Sora: Oh my fsm it’s worse than we thought! They made him EMO!!!

-cmon coooole

-NOOOO ARIN AAAGH

-sad Arin and Sora hours

-ARIN THAT’S NOT WHAT SHE SAID

-NOOOO COLE

-Okay Nokt you are. The worst.

-Nya’s gonna lose isn’t she

-Nya get the gem

-“A FRIENDLY DESTROY” once again Wyldfire is Peril

-OKAY NOPE ROBY’S EVIL

-“tHaNkS wYlDfIrE.”

-okay yeah it’s gonna be a smokescreen thing or smth

-ARIN NO ARIN NO ARIN NO ARIN NO

-OH NO SORA CANT RISING DRAGON

-YEAAAAAH SORA!!!

-Ohhh Arin’s edgy now

-ah yes Ball of Wu

-👀👀👀 there’s a monastery over here???

————

-Kai no braincell moment we love him

-no, Wyldfire, ninja do not sleep in.

-Riyu: YOU GET A MOONWATCHER ARC!

-GENETICS FOR THE WIN

-hold on is that Darth Vader???

-aaaand we’re back to this.

-I love the half-effort drawing shxkcnskxmfnfbv

-Wyldfire, of all people: She’s super powerful but can’t control her anger. Huh. Pathetic.

-Sora’s trying her best to be nice shocking

-HIGH LEVELS OF CRINGE

-and immediately Lloyd gets a vision we love to see it

-HE’S GONNA LOSE??? Once again my dude destruction is an eleme- (gets mugged)

-Poor poor Geo wbfbfkfngngb

-THE PAST IS FOR DEAD PEOPLE

-ROBY’S EVIL HES EVIL HES EVIL

-I K N E W I T

-AAAAAAAAA

-Wyldfire’s now gonna get a Harumi situation shekxnekfjgngv

-poor POOR Lloyd

-Cole out here being dadlike to the enemy we love him

-LLOYD KNOWING HES GONNA LOSE MAKES THIS HURT IN SUCH A SPECIAL WAY

-Zeatrix (ranting)

Lloyd: (actively witnessing The Horrors)

-I am now hoping this season ends with Cole adopting yet another snake child

-ARIN APPEARING AT THE WORST TIME

-WYLDFIRE YOU’RE MAKING IT WORSE

-OH CHAMILLE’S BACK!!!

-ROBY WITH THE FAKEOUT?!? GOSH D A N G I T

-LIFE?!?!?

-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-BRO THAT JUST SOUNDS SO COOL

-still like energy better tho

-“The very angry elemental master of shockwave” shxjdkcmfbffv

-AND YEET YOUR OPPONENT OFF THE PLATFORM SHXNDKXNDJGBFBGV

-she will not, in fact, thank Euphrasia.

-“only small masters dhxkcnfngb”

-ya don’t say Sora it’s almost like he had a VISION OF LOSING TO HER

-THE GOTCHA IS BACK!!!

-AGH HES PLAGUED BY VISIONS MID-FIGHT THATS NOT FAIR :(

-oh my word he’s being Clearsight about it THIS is how he loses

-THEY QUITE LITERALLY BROKE THE GAME.

-Gren :D

-ITS THE SWORD ITS T H E SWORD

-no. NO.

-Lloyd died of 1d4 “I quite literally saw this coming” damage

________

-YOUR CAREGIVER BOT

-Here I was thinking she couldn’t possibly get any more Peril-coded after last season BOY WAS I WRONG.

-Arin, of all people: Just because someone ACTS nice doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of turning on you.

-THEY’RE PLAYING CLUE

-SORA V FRACK!!! Well this isn’t going to be emotionally fraught

-Frak’s glare at Sora I can’t

-NOT THE MAAASK!!!

-YEAAAAAAHHH LETS GO FRAK

-We respect Frak in this household

-solve the equation its some sort of code I’m betting you

-BLECKT?!?

-Wyldfire being able to play her awkwardness as the obvious crush is GOLDEN

-WYFY I’M LOSING IT

-sNeAkY bOoTs :P

-IT’S BLECKT?!?

-Lloyd :<

-CROWN MONO STEREO. Now lemme run this through an anagram finder or something.

(Many internet anagram decoders later)

-okay that got me NOTHING useful

-OH. Oh Arin solves it immediately.

-AND WE BACK TO THE VISIONSCAPE!

-ARIN’S EVIL NOW

-We love Motion here :)

-LLOYD VS NOKT?!? BUT LLOYD DIDNT GET THE POWER TRANSFER?!?!?

-He’s so awkward shxkcnfkgng

-“The… imperium girl”

-okay okay we good (until he inevitably loses)

-ONCE AGAIN DESTRUCTION IS AN ELEMENT

-Y’ALL WAIT THAT COULD BE SO COOL IF HE USES ONI POWER AND ARIN PUTS TWO AND TWO TOGETHER AND SEES IT AS ANOTHER LIE AND THAT’S WHAT PUSHES HIM TO RAS’S SIDE?!?

-please please let that be what happens

-NOOOOOOO LLOOOOOOYD

-BLECKT I HATE YOU FOREVER

-ZANE WITH THE HUNGER GAMES REFERENCE?!?

-Lily :D

-aaaand we’ve got Wu

—————

-OH IS THIS A FLASHBACK

-RAS?!?

-okay why would he want to resurrect the forbidden 5?!?

-oh no wait he’s got different eyes and stripes I’m stupid that’s like his great great grandpa or smth

-so so many different villains. so many.

-man Blekt is so mean smh

-Wyldfire… did you set up a brick to fall on him so you had the excuse to tackle him in rage…

-LETS GOOO WYLDFIRE

-“it rarely ever decimated their entire village”

-HE SPEAKS!

-ah he only speaks in one word at a time.

-HE DID?!?!?!?!? WHAT?!? Dwcbevnkenifjifreip

-Poor... Poor Sora.

-“My Spinjitzu won’t spin-jitz” Sora 2024

-Sora: how would I use these powers?

-Lloyd: well you see despite being in the midst of an awkwardly timed Moonwatcher arc I cannot read your mind

-TEAM UP?!?

-Zur is so. Agh. Mood tho.

-OH ITS SORA VS NOKT!!!

-she does Spinjitzu at the end doesn’t she

-OKAY SHE CAN DO IT ARIN STYLE THATS PROGRESS

-LETS GOOO SORA WITH THE BRAINPOWER

-ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED BKDENCKPWDNCKEVFNIO

-Loving how the soundtrack at “he says he caused the merge” transitions from what I’m pretty sure is the Ninjago overture in a minor key to just. ✨oop we ending this early time to go back to that minor key✨ idk I can’t explain it

-Nokt: 🎶anything you can do I can do better🎶

-Roby you should know to NEVER say that

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-the season ends with the forbidden five going out and then Kai just appearing in the chaos to sing What’d I Miss from Hamilton

-WYLDFIRE SHOULDVE DONE THE PHOENIX WRIGHT POINT

-The Phrasia :D

-also I love how the guy kept his umbrella hat THE WHOLE TIME

-Bleckt: 🎶BECAUSE OF YOU🎶

-HOW DID HE JUST. Huh?

-just great. Amazing in fact.

-and there it is.

-Yup. And Jordana got possessed.

-I’m sorry Ras can CHANGE HIS STRIPE AND HAND COLOR ON COMMAND?!?

-yup. Yup and the wolf masks can Dr. Octopus now. of course they can.

-CINDER CAN YOU STOP THROWING RANDOM TEENAGERS AROUND PLEASE AND THANK YOU

-Kizzy (master of balance) just jumping on one of the wolf masks like a trampoline is now my favorite thing ever

———

-Oh hey Nya’s back :D

-Cole just. Just smack them off the cliff while they’re evil laughing.

-nope okay cool. This is fine.

-The surge of serotonin I get every time I see Euphrasia onscreen I sWEAR

-“i SiNcErElY dEtEsT rIsInG dRaGoN.”

-Zane and Nya are just like “oh my goodness it’s Lloyd and Morro all over again”

-LETS GOOO ARIN

-ROBY THIS IS WHY YOU DO IT FAST AND DONT MONOLOGUE

-AND HE FELL OFF A CLIFF

-Okay but I LOVE that mask on Rox tho

-Also Jordana pulling an Anemone the beloved

-Ras: I know the truth about this universe.

Arin: …Dude chill I just want my mom and dad

-ARIN NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE EDGY

-THE STANG TO YOUR ZOOT ASHXJCNGKGB

-man all the baddies out here using wind huh. And then there’s just. Euphrasia.

-KAI’S BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!

-AND BONZLEEEE!!!

-YEAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

-Kai do you have NO OBJECT PERMANENCE

-HE GOT DRAINED JUST IN TIME!!!!!

-SHOUTOUT TO EUPHRASIA FR YOU GO GIRL PUSH CINDER WITH THAT WIND OF YOURS YEAAAAAAAH

-Ras just immediately getting KO’d

-…the evil student tax :(

-AND THEN KAI

-the mood swings are strong with this season

-MASTER WU

-The vengestone birdcage! Like in crystallized! Bleckt reveals he’s part Oni and shatters it

-UMBRELLA HAT GUY JUST HAD THAT HAT ON THR WHOLE TIME

-Im guessing Sordana shippers having a field day with this one

-SORA JUST DRAGGING LLOYD OFFSCREEN IM CRYING

-buuut Jay’s still gone :(

-“another mortal” implying that someone’s tried to do all of this BEFORE

-AGH I love Motion so much

-…Motion you idiot Ras is gonna take that next season

-I swear Arin’s just suddenly REALLY edgy sbxkxmxmfnfngbg

-AND THATS THE END AAAAGH

[crossdressingdeath]

Rook: How are the knives coming? Lucanis: Rook. This isn't going to work. Rook: We're going to make it work. Lucanis: They moved the moon. We're in over our heads. That's not magic you can fight with a blade! You're putting your life in our hands. My hands. All I know is death. Rook: I know we'll get through this. Lucanis: Optimism is your best and worst quality. If I have to kill every blighted creature in Thedas to keep you safe, I will. Rook: You don't have to do everything alone. Lucanis: I'm never alone anymore. Rook: You know what I mean. I'll be here for you. Lucanis: Don't make promises you might not keep. Rook: Lucanis, I— Lucanis: Don't. Whatever it takes. I won't miss this time. I'll meet you at the eluvian. [...] Rook: Right. Business as usual. Everything's fine. Definitely not thinking about that all day.

AUGH.

Anyway, I love this. I love Lucanis's protectiveness and his fear that he's going to get Rook killed. He says "If I have to kill every blighted creature in Thedas to keep you safe, I will" and I just melt.

From what I've heard and seen I think all of the pre-ritual conversations with the LIs leave something unfinished (gotta give the LI something to dwell on after that whole situation goes tits-up, after all), and I love Lucanis cutting Rook off before they can (I assume) tell him they love him as part of that. Lucanis having to spend weeks knowing he cut them off before what as far as he knows was the only chance he'd ever get to hear them say "I love you"... It's very fun combined with him being the one to say "I love you" first in the end, he's not missing another chance

I also love Rook's sarcastic "Definitely not thinking about that all day", it plays super well with how slow this romance is. These two haven't actually talked about their relationship... at all, there's obviously something there and they don't deny it in any way but they haven't discussed it. And then here going into what might be the death of all of them Rook tries to tell Lucanis they love him and he shuts them down! And it's not that Lucanis doesn't love Rook or doesn't believe they love him (Rook would be much more upset about it if they thought that was the case) and honestly I can't blame him given "Hey we might die tomorrow, I love you" is... not an ideal way to hear that for the first time, but it would still hurt I'm sure. Also I'm a little disappointed that first "I love you" happens just before the final battle instead of during the post-Fade jail conversation because Lucanis telling Rook he loves them at the first opportunity he gets after that whole mess having nearly lost the chance to ever tell them would've been so very very good.

[munsonify]

christmas movies

pairing. eddie munson x gn!reader

summary. you come into family video looking for a christmas movie that you’re making eddie watch with you.

content warnings. pet names (sweetheart), loving teasing.

a/n. augh i dunno how i feel about this….

word count. 812

12 days of christmas

It was almost as if you had Eddie at gunpoint. The way you dragged him into the video store with a set determination, it seemed like he was forced to be here. He seemed grumpier than usual, which no one would ever admit to his face. The way he practically flung the door open for you was enough to draw people away.

Normally, he would never even think about whining over quality time with you. He’s a sucker for you and your company in every way of the sort. He would do just about anything for you, and he’s stood by that claim for all of your relationship.

That was, until, you decided that a cheesy Christmas movie was something you wanted to watch with him. The mere mention of it made his eyebrows pinch together in disgust. It was almost instinct for Eddie to protest watching a Christmas movie. In fact, he protested it the entire chilly drive to the video store, and even while you were searching for the perfect one to watch with him!

“But Eds!” You protested back. “I watched all those stupid horror movies with you! You can suffer through one Christmas movie!”

Eddie’s mouth dropped in a half fake annoyance. Sure, he knew you were messing with him, yet he still decided to stand up for himself. He brought a hand to his chest dramatically, gasping for air he didn’t need. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“Name one horror movie we watched that was stupid.”

“Children of the Corn,” you fired back immediately. “Even calling it a horror movie is a disgrace to the genre.” Eddie sat in a silence as you went back to skim through movies. You smirked at this newfound quietness. Even he had admitted previously that Children of the Corn hadn’t met his expectations.

In that silence, you found A Christmas Story. You picked it up with confidence, strutting straight over to the freshly cleaned counter. There were wipe streaks all against it that you were sure was Steve’s doing. When noticing he was no where to be seen, Eddie reached over to obnoxiously ring the bell on the counter. It was rusty, but it did its job fine, clear by the way Steve ushered out to the front desk.

“You’re unbelievable, Munson,” Steve glared at him, his eyes moving and sorting at you. He took the tape from your hands to scan, immediately starting up small talk with you two.

“How much are you paying him to sit through this?” Steve teased. He smirked at the both of you as he spoke, taking the five dollar bill from your hands for ring you up.

“Nothing, but I am revoking his sex privileges if he doesn’t,” you joked back, nudging Eddie’s arm with your elbow. He didn’t seem as impressed, though he did let a smile play on his face. You knew he would sit through it regardless of any of his protests or complaints.

Soon, Steve gave you some coins back for change, along with a receipt with a return date on it. The tape was placed into your hands after you’d dumped the loose change into your wallet. With some farewells, you two were off, heading back to Eddie’s place, where you excitedly gathered up a large blanket for you two to share.

Reluctantly, Eddie slipped the tape into the player. He sat down onto the couch, the material dipping as he leaned back and began to rest against it. His arm was propped up in the back, which you were quick to rest in front of. You moved his arm gently for a moment, wrapping the warm blanket around your bodies, before placing it around your waist contently.

You leaned your body against his instinctively, your head resting carefully on his shoulder as he began to play the movie. Eddie’s hands were cold from the weather outside, though that didn’t stop him from placing a cold hand onto your hip.

And, surprisingly, Eddie was enjoying the movie. Despite his multiple protests, he caught himself laughing and grinning at some scenes. Each laugh earned him a loving gaze from you. All of his complaints had seemingly washed away by the end of the film. He was smiling, though you weren’t entirely sure if it was genuine or for sure. You decided it was genuine quickly after he looked down at you. That one quick chance at his soft eyes told you everything.

“Wasn’t that better than the horror movies?” You interrogated him, the credits rolling with music playing in the back.

“Not a chance, sweetheart,” Eddie replied, squeezing you tight, a smile still playing on his lips.

You rolled your eyes yet again at him, though this time, you followed up with a soft kiss. You could never stay upset with him, especially when it was for play

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can I request a oneshot with Leshy from Cult of the Lamb and this child follower who just follows him eVeRyWhErE, and after getting mad at the child he's just like, 'yo heket I have a kid' and he's unbelievably chill about it after that and eventually just brings the kid with him instead of the child stalking him. (And platonically because I'm not that kind of weird--)

If you don't write for platonics or just don't want to write this please ignore-- have a wonderful timezone!

Awe this is such a cute idea!! Also for the child follower y/n I decided to make Lamb their parent (I'll leave the other parent up to interpretation).

...........

"Lesh!"

"Augh!! Lamb's little brat...how dare you stand in my way?! I could have tripped over you and spilled all these beetroots!"

"Sorry. I thought you'd wanna play tag..."

"Tag? No, thank you. I feel as though I'd be at a great disadvantage. Why don't you go find somebody else to play with? Perhaps someone who still has their sight."

"Okaaaay!"

"Good. Now away with you." Shooing you off, Leshy heard your hoof-steps running away from him. As he put the vegetables into the farming station's chest, he growled in irritation upon hearing Lamb's annoying bleating, as well as your own as you greeted them.

If only he could roll his nonexistent eyes...

For the Red Crown's vessel to marry their most devoted follower was one thing...but to have a child with them, too??

That's something he didn't expect when he first arrived into the cult. It probably wouldn't have bothered him so much if you weren't half-sheep and chose to annoy him in particular.

He's not sure how much time had passed between your birth and Lamb "saving" him and his siblings from purgatory...but you've grown into quite the irritable spawn.

You only proved his point when you returned a few minutes later, and he slammed the chest closed, making you stop in your tracks.

"The clopping of your hooves gives me a headache sometimes..what is it now?"

"Lammy asked me to ask you if um...you could lead the harvest ritual this evening?" You smiled up at him, oblivious to his attitude and snappy words.

".....they couldn't just ask me themselves??!" He groaned. "Fine. Tell them I will begin it at sundown. And I'm not waiting for everyone. If they're late, oh well."

"Will do! Thank you, Lesh!!"

The green bushworm huffed and tried going back to his work, only to become startled when you rammed into him, hugging his torso tightly. It made him tense up as he hissed angrily at you. "Don't touch!!!"

You let him go, confused. "Why?"

"Because....!!!" Leshy paused, having remembered that Lamb was likely close by, watching him. So he took a moment to think of another excuse. "...because..you may get ichor in your wool. We bishops haven't fully healed yet..so you may get sick."

"Ohhhhh, I see it. Sorry, Lesh! I'll be more careful next time!"

Nodding, he heard you leave to tell your parent what he said, and he was convinced you were officially gone for good this time.

Then his ears picked up the sound of a wheezy chuckle.

"I hear you, sister..."

"Brother...is...warming up....to them.." Heket teased as she approached her younger brother, nudging his elbow playfully.

"As if! I only put on the act because Lamb's around." He scoffed, shaking his head. "They won't hesitate to make me relive my death again if I do anything to upset their little spawn.."

"Hm..good...luck. I'm...hungry...bye...." The red frog decided to leave him alone and head to the kitchen station.

And for a while, Leshy was able to finish his tasks at the farm without any disturbances. But just as he brushed the dirt off his hands and was ready to eat, too, he overheard Lamb talking with a random follower who hollered their name from across the base.

They spoke of having trouble confessing to someone they liked...so they wanted their leader to get flowers from his realm as a "gift" for this crush of theirs.

He thought it was outrageous.

'Does nobody here want to lift a finger anymore?! Or maybe..they're just too scared to enter my realm...so it must be doing well even without me to rule it. But if Lamb's going there, then.....no...would they..?'

It suddenly dawned on Leshy, and he scratched his bandages, finally remembering something that has been weighing heavily on his mind:

A relic.

Specifically a piece of him that was lost to the woods.

He remembers commanding the worms to hide it for him so none of his devotees tried to seize its power for themselves.

For as long as he's been in Lamb's cult, he learned they were an excellent scavenger--willing to retrieve bundles of silk or crystals for their more artsy followers, and even mushrooms for those who were "curious" about them.

They've reunited friends and siblings...even the ones who killed their entire species.

Surely, he could ask them about it.

It wouldn't hurt to try, right?

After the follower left, Leshy walked over to you and Lamb, ignoring your greeting of excitement when he arrived, as well as him making no effort to stop you from playing with his tail. It just swished around, and you kept jumping over it like some rope.

"Lamb. Just so we're clear..this is not a favor, I do not need your charity." He warned.

"...okay? What is it?" They tilted their head, closing their doctrine book.

"Well...when dear brother Narinder struck us in his fury, my eyes were torn from the socket. One was salvaged, and hidden in the tangled Darkwood. I despair at the thought of it being uncovered by some simple-minded beast..."

He took a pause, before sighing. "You have navigated my realm once before, do so again and recover my eye. Perhaps we can...make an arrangement."

As expected, Lamb was adamant. "Why should I find something that your "dear brother" took? Why don't you ask him since it's his fault? Or maybe you can go find it yourself?"

"You know I can't. If he goes, he'll lie and claim it's gone forever. If I go, all of Darkwood will be out for my head!" He huffed. "I thought it was your duty to cater to your followers' needs. You've never sent one back into the maw of Silk Cradle to find their lost brother, even though it's their fault for-"

"That's different, Leshy. You don't get to group yourself with them just yet." They warned, scowling at him. "They don't know these realms like you do. They have good hearts, led astray by your hubris and corruption. You were a rotten bishop who ruined their lives..ruined my life...and on that note, you've shown my child nothing but disrespect since the moment you arrived."

At the mention of you, you stopped playing around and frowned. "Lammy-"

"Disrespect?! They've been following me nonstop and disrupting my work!!" He exploded. "But of course you'll never believe me because they're such a "perfect little angel" in your eyes-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH, WRETCHED WORM!!!"

Suddenly, Leshy felt his throat tightening up as his feet were lifted off the ground. And he coughed, clasping his hands around his neck as he realized what was happening to him:

Lamb was strangling him.

And there's no way for him to fight the invisible force that kept crushing his windpipe. He could only gag and beg for mercy, becoming panicked quickly as the ichor dripped down his face faster.

Why did this feel more agonizing than the sharp blades that sliced and diced into him dozens of times?

"Never forget the god who usurped you and granted vermin like you the blessing of redemption.." The sheep snarled, eyes glowing red with rage, sharp teeth bared as they watched the bushworm writhe. "Speak illy of my child again, and I will-"

"Lammy, stop it!! You're hurting him!"

They felt a tug on their cloak and looked at you, having forgotten that you've been standing there the entire time. A look of horror flashed in their eyes as they quickly set Leshy down, allowing him to catch his breath.

"Oh no..I...forgive me, my dear." Embracing you, they gave you a tiny smile after their demonic features disappeared. "I-I didn't mean to make you see that, but...you must understand why I did it, right? He was being very rude and unkind to-"

"He didn't mean it." You pouted, although you did hug them back. "Will you find his eye?"

Leshy glanced up in bewilderment.

Did he hear you correctly?

Lamb was just as stunned that you were taking his side, blinking. "But [y/n]-"

"No! You have to find it, Lammy! He's only grouchy because he doesn't have his missing eye." Your gaze went to the bushworm. "I bet if you find it for him, he'll feel better!"

"...I suppose you're right about that." They sighed in defeat, standing up and turning to him. "You are fortunate that my child has such a forgiving heart, so...I will search for your eye when I have the time. But remember that I'm doing this for them, not for you."

Leshy just nodded in understanding, awkwardly scratching his bandages as he heard hoof steps walking away from him. Yet he was too afraid of moving from his kneeling position.

"It's okay. It's just me, Lesh."

Feeling your smaller hands take his own, his shoulders relaxed a little as you brushed some of the ichor off his face with a cloth you found. "Don't cry, it's okay now."

"I-I..had it coming." He finally found his voice, still shaken up over the altercation. "It's my fault. I was the one acting more childish than you..and I owe you an apology for-"

"No, Lammy should be sorry." You frowned and hugged him. "I don't like it when they do that. You're right..they should help everyone here. Even you."

This time he didn't push you away and instead wrapped his arms around you, feeling the wool on top of your head and the nubs that would soon sprout into horns.

Lamb was right.

He felt blessed to have your forgiveness...or else he surely would have met a grim demise.

Maybe you weren't as annoying as he previously thought.

"..thank you, [y/n], for standing by me. Will you...let me know when your parent returns with my eye?" He hesitated to ask.

Yet you immediately answered with enthusiasm.

"Of course!"

..........

"Sister! My child's green thumb continues to flourish!"

"....you....have...child...?"

"Over there!"

"...Lamb's....spawn-?"

"No, no! That is [y/n]!" Leshy huffed, shaking his head as he heard you rapidly approaching. Then he crouched down with a smile, keeping his arms open so you could rush into them. "How are you today?"

"Great, Lesh!!" You giggled as he picked you up, although he sensed that you put something on his head. "It's a camelia crown. The most beautiful ones I could find! I feel sad you can't see it, though..."

"That is alright, little one. I still remember their colors and radiance.." His claws reached up to gently brush the petals, humming with nostalgia. "Its fragrance remains constant..so I know it's always here with me. Thank you."

Looking at Heket, you giggled again as you saw that her extra pair of eyes were now open, wide with disbelief at her brother's sudden change of heart. "Hek-Hek! I didn't know you had four eyes!"

"...what did...you do...to...brother?" She squinted in suspicion.

"Well, umm..I-" You stammered, trying to explain yourself.

"They insisted that Lamb recovered my eye." Leshy was quick to explain, setting you down on the ground. "At first they refused and got irrationally angry with me for "insulting" their child. But [y/n] spoke up in my defense and...their "Lammy" listened and retrieved it this morning. Looks like it was in one of Chemach's lairs, but I let them keep it."

"Huh.....why..?"

"It's more useful to them as a relic. It's not like I can reattach my own eye and see out of it again, but I find peace knowing it's here."

"...good...point..." Heket paused, before touching her own throat and thinking for a few moments. "Would...Lamb....find....it for..me...?"

"A throat sac? Hmm..you can certainly try, sister."

Nodding in understanding, she turned and walked away, eager to ask Lamb if they were willing to recover what she had lost within Anura.

Once she was gone, you tapped Leshy on the arm. "Can you help me get the fertilizer for the plants? It's....kinda icky and really smelly."

He smiled as well, patting the top of your head. "Of course, little one. You can leave all the "icky" work to me."

And with that, you both set off to the farming plot, with him not being bothered by your presence anymore.

[intertexts]

OK HI. HELLO ROS <3 standing in ur doorway like this 🧍 listen i will read worm eventually i just have so much HAPPENING. ALL THE TIME RIGHT NOW. AND DONT HAVE THE TIME. and also jrwi has me in a chokehold u know how it b. ANYWAY. i need u 2 tell me as much about new haven wards as u can without like major insane spoilers for worm. little spoilers r ok. i watch/read everything with a few lil spoilers 2 look forward to anyway <3 i know nothing abt the universe of worm (<<has barely made a sizeable dent in it but god i will i prommy) but i wanna know what exactly nhw is about. how does the universe work. how do the powers work. what is the situation with the nhw how and why are they working together where did they all come from!! gimme the nhw lore!!! as much as u can!!!!! looking at u with the biggest saddest wettest eyes rn pls pls pls infodump abt nhw 2 me!!!!!!!! ros pls 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

HIII HI HI WHISKEY <333 UR INSANE FOR ASKING THIS. BTW. literally insane. grabbing u so hard by the shoulders there is a crazed look in my eye. anyway. FIRST i am tagging @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone here also!!!!!! bc it is his au as much as mine & i am NOT qualified 2 talk abt nhw mark n such. augh.

ok. ok. ok. new haven wards. putting the cut here.

so the basic movement of worm is that powers are from trauma. ridiculously simplified, but that's the base of it-- if you have superpowers, you have them because you went through traumatic events so severe to you specifically that it broke ur brain a little bit. the powers manifest in some way as a reaction to the traumatic scenario. (it is also more complicated than this. playing the spoiler card.) OR secret second option u put urself into indefinite debt to an extremely shadowy and ominous.... organization? person? shadow government branch? conspiracy? and get superpowers in a can, with like, a 10% chance they'll backfire and mutate u into some fucking terrible inhuman shit and then they'll completely memory wipe you and brand you and dump you off somewhere. not really relevant here. because the main way of getting superpowers is to be violently traumatized, cape society in worm tends to be grittier, more violent. there's more villains, the heroes are less shiny marvel or dc and more making whatever moral compromises they need to get the best outcome possible. at one point one of the main heroes in the city worm takes place in tells the sixteen-year-old protagonist "i don't care, there's a kill order out on them, just put a bullet in her brain if you see her, it's fine" and then a while later goes "yeah i'd vote for a kill order out on you guys too," directly to her face. worm is always going "hey, wouldn't it fucking suck if superheroes were real?". there are many horrifying and inhuman and violent threats. sexual and racial and physical violence aren't swept under the rug. these seventeen year olds are sent to crime scenes where flayed and gutted corpses are suspended from the ceilings because they're heroes! ^_^ but this aint about worm this is about the new haven wards!!!!! [wards are the child soldiers junior hero branch of the main syndicated/unionized hero organization, w/ placement in every major city alongside regional protectorate headquarters]

>key things for this au:

--william wisp changed his last name to bell when he moved to new haven (where his brother david lives :) and joined the wards, for another layer of anonymity ^_^ (he is. severely paranoid about his identity & privacy. <- also a Big and Heavy thing in worm/parahumans world. it's a Big Fucking Deal to unmask a cape regardless of their alignment)

-dakota never got the mechanical heart & biomedical augumentation so didn't meet mato cole at that time! he's still dakota damascus :]

-virion... idk why he's still virion & not vyncent actually. probably just because that was the name his parents gave him? we can't change it now though nhw virion & canon vyncent r two different guys to me...

-ashe is the unluckiest fucking guy in the world!!!

their powers are a little different from canon both bc of the ways powers work just being different frm how they do in pd & also because of the "they're always a reflection of the worst moment of ur life that you're just dragging around with you reminding you of it" thing. <333

wibby / whisperer is a breaker/shaker (<- power classifications meaning he has another form he shifts into, and also an area of effect] in his breaker form (crackling white-blue energy) he 1) can control how corporeal he is, or *how* corporeal he is, from "walks into the brick wall" to "doesnt notice there's a brick wall and goes straight through it", to "goes incorporeal to stick his hand in a guy's chest then resolidifies to instakill him" w/ some tradeoffs. & 2) shape/control energy manifestations in a fairly wide radius around him, where the power of the shaped energy is in proportion to the amount of recent death in the area-- if there's a ton of casualties in the area, he can do a lot more than he could in a peaceful small town in the middle of nowhere. the situation with his trigger event was him. growing up socially isolated and half convinced he was going crazy and everyone else Also thought he was fucking insane (deadwood is still haunted!! more haunted :]) for years & years + the loneliness + frustration + unsureness if he's actually the one just. losing it or if it's all really real + the constant feeling of being in danger, that the town is bad and malicious and out to Get you. anyway. he fell, take that as ambiguously as u do for that in canon, didn't die, but was severely injured & couldn't move. just laid there for maybe a day or so in the woods that wanted to kill him. anyway he triggered when he was found! the catalyst was not "the place that's been out to get me my entire life finally succeeded" but the helpless incandescent frustration of "actually nothing i ever do is going to make you understand. i've been trying for so fucking long to make you See It but you won't!!! you never will and you just think i'm crazy or stupid or making it up for attention even though it has such obvious fucking consequences and is manifestly Real!!" he was recruited to the wards by miss g herself, who was like hahahhahaa this kid could be a Really Fucking Big Problem if he doesn't have an eye on him!! ^_^ he never wanted to be a hero, and still doesn't, really, but he's terrified of accidentally hurting people & deadwood is like a weight around his neck and maybe things will be better if he just gets out of here. for a while they're not, of course. he just feels like. y'know. he's another sick thing that crawled out of deadwood, and his powers make that obvious. the way they interact with recently dead shit makes him sick!! living with david is awful-- a big, lovely, lonely high rise apartment, an older brother who barely bothers to speak to him, calls to their mom through the walls going "why is he here? why would you send him here? can he like, go anywhere else?"

virion sol / imprint is a trump (meaning his powers interact With other capes powers.) he can copy powers by touching other parahumans-- the copied power is just as strong as the original, whatever the original is, but he doesn't have an innate sense of how to use it; he can easily be overwhelmed or overstimulated by powers that involve a ton of sensory input, or accidentally loose cannon something he wasn't expecting and can't easily control. regardless, this is a fucking insane power to have. it's so cracked. like within the parahumans-- world, this is something so rare, especially being able to copy the full strength of the power. the very few examples in canon of something similar, the copied power is always inferior. his situation was similar to canon-- the greats were a team of independent heroes, & were like, extended family to virion. he grew up unpowered, but in the cape world-- so many aunts and uncles teaching him security, standard protocols, how to fight capes, how to run cape business and independent team business, how to handle guns and tasers and safely run background checks. y'know. a family's worth of professional knowledge. he never really wanted to be a cape, anyway, he was more than happy to do all the unpowered stuff at home that needed to be done. occasionally he came with them on patrol n stuff or snuck out to watch them. the greats' long term goal was prying out the lich, an extremely heavyweight warlord who had control over most of the city. virion's father struck a deal with the lich-- virion knows as little what the deal was For as he does in canon, but he double crossed the entire team. virion snuck along to the confrontation with the lich (setup) & watched his father turn & murder all of them. still not sure if he did it all himself or just watched as the lich's minions did it, but the way they knew all their weaknesses, how efficient and brutal and unexpected it was-- it was his dad feeding the information. virion stays frozen in shock and horror & hidden during all of this. can't do anything to help. is fucking useless, despite all he knows and has done. for the first time in his life, he wished he had powers, that ram and min and everyone could have taught him how to have and use their powers like they taught him everything else. he triggered watching it all happen. after this, he went on the run, terrified that someone would Know that he saw, that they'd be coming for the loose ends, that his dad would come back for him. all he has of his family is a couple piecemeal things he could grab before he ran-- ram's favorite revolvers, a holy medal of alphonz's, some of his mom's sturdy jewelry. anyway, he ran, moved to a different city, new haven. started figuring out his powers, started targeting specifically other capes who were up to bad shit-- minor to mid league villains, the occasional local hero who would Look squeaky clean, but after their sudden death dirty secrets would come out, etc. all very low-key, very subtle. none of the disappearances or deaths looked related. during this period he is SO fucked up. he is so fucked in the head. he's incredibly hypervigilant and paranoid and jumpy (good at looking unbothered and still clocking every single sound and movement and always facing doors and windows), mired in the grief and guilt and horror at. watching his entire family slaughtered and life shattered in a night. sleeps for no more than two hours or so at a time. even on top of the lich and his dad... what he's been doing puts an even bigger target on his back. doesn't have time or heart for anything but the dirty work. is dissociating through the periods of time where he's not actively hunting someone down or on the job. silhouette is the one who puts the pieces together-- of course he's on the protectorate (hero organization) radar. sure he's only been targeting bad guys, but how clean each one was? how well covered they all are? how whoever this is has allegedly killed at least almost two hands' worth of capes in cold blood by now? sets off alarms, if you're looking!!

anyway, silhouette tracks him down, says hey, i know who you are, i know what happened. you're just a kid. you join us, and you'll gain the resources and skill to be able to get revenge. aren't you tired of running? now... virion took to this fast and well when he did, but. before it all, he was just a teenager. despite the family business, he was just some guy! he helped his mom cook and got help with schoolwork at the kitchen table and his cool aunts took him out for lunch. he never wanted this or expected it. and of course he doesn't trust the heroes farther than he can spit, but... it's something. it's better than this. anything has to be better than the way he's driving himself into the ground. & also, of course. if silhouette can find him. anyone else who's looking for him can too. (i don't think he's even registered on the radar of anyone. his dad didn't actually survive the lich, obviously, & he was the only other one who really knew abt virion + nobody knew he triggered. he's just. so fucking paranoid.)

dakota damascus / failsafe is a thinker/mover. he 1) has a precognitive sense of any pain that anyone in a radius around him will feel in the next short amount of time. this is-- varyingly difficult to block. he can't just Choose not to feel it, although the intensity of the feeling, again, varies. mostly proportionally to how severe the pain actually is, or how many people are hurt, but, with time, he can dull or sharpen it + follow the threads of it to discern Who exactly is in pain, rather than just an ambient sensation. 2) is VERY fast & has matching enhanced cognitive speed. these two abilities work SO good together, both in combat situations & also just day to day patrolling. man. i love dakota. anyway, he triggered young-- he was out with his parents (maybe 7/8) and they got caught in an attack by siberian-- a genuinely indestructible, incredibly powerful villain who can just,,, run her hand through a concrete foundation like it's butter & collapse buildings, or scoop out peoples insides in a heartbeat. and also likes to eat people, like, raw and bloody after dismembering them. whatever level of ultraviolent shocking horror u are imagining. double it. anyway. they got caught in the scene of this attack, dakota got separated from his parents in the panic and stampede and rush to get out-- he's seven! it's terrifying levels of panic and claustrophobia and people shoving and trampling and he's not gonna leave without his parents!! of course not!! he triggers from the fear and the disorientation and the panic & he can't find them & he's trying to fight the crowd but he barely comes up past their knees & there's awful sounds of fighting & he's close enough to see her... things are doubly disorienting with the echo of the agony from everyone who gets Fucking Siberianed. he sees most of the fight. um. a while after she's driven away and it's finally finished he finds what's left of his parents. there's a beat in worm, during an encounter with siberian and the Big Heroes, the prime force equivalent, where they just.. give her a victim to chew on because it makes her happier and less of a nightmare to fight. which is something i think about frequently. anyway, after this things are kind of loose, similar to canon. he does the same shit. it's also quieter and you can feel less people hurting the higher up u are. yk? OH GOD. YEAH. at some point after this we still have not hammered it out. he confronts the slaughterhouse 9 (the supervillain group that attacked/siberian is part of) about it & gets his face slit open (half chelsea smile style) & makes a deal to either kill a guy in [n years] or that guy will kill him & several hundred other people!!!!!!!!!!!! dakota damascus killing a man baked into the bones of nhw!!!

anyway he & cat still fell. he underwent a second trigger event when this happened, actually-- the panic and desperation of that situation + the way it echoed his first trigger, etc. this is also super fucking rare, btw. there are very few second triggers & it is almost Never good. (u cannot trigger more than twice + a second trigger is always a refining or an improving of the intent of the original trigger) so that's where the speed etc. came from. tide found him, gave him. a better support system (low bar!!) + a real purpose in joining the wards. i have a lot of feelings abt this.

ashe / auxiliary / muse is also a shaker/breaker!!!!! his backstory i cannot talk too much about because it is Big Spoilers. but he is a fucking powerful telekinetic (around when he joins the wards, having not really used his power in years, he has an upper weight limit of a couple times his body weight & a fairly large radius of effect). he also has a breaker form that only triggers in certain situations & if he really really pushes himself to breaking w/ his powers-- when he enters it, he loses lucidity, for the most part, & starts warping and stretching and breaking space-time in strange, dreamlike ways-- the pavement melts, or everything gets bouncy, or cars and concrete chunks and things with no business moving float slowly around like balloons, or he pulls and crumples reality to move without really moving.... it gets Real fucking bad, real fast. ANYWAY. he eventually sneaks out one night, walks to a gas station to get. snacks. it-- okay, i'm fucking linking mac's post, i CANNOT summarize all of this concisely. go read that. so. that's ashe's deal!!!!!!!!!

THERE'S ALSO. MARK. ASK MAC ABOUT MARK i have typed this entire thing out on myfucking phone keyboard i literally Cannot keep going. help. and also their mark stuff is so fucking good its so. auuuhhgh. AND ALSO DAVID BELL. WHO WORKS FOR THE ORGANIZATION THAT SELLS U SUPERPOWERS IN A CAN W A CHANCE OF GETTING TURNED INTO AN UNRECOGNIZABLE MONSTER AND DOES HUMAN ABDUCTION AND EXPERIMENTATION. AND JADE AND X AND ALLEN ARE THE FREEDOM CITY WARDS AND GRAYSCALE SHAKES OUT EVEN FUCKING WORSE THAN IT DID IN CANON. YEAH.

SO. YEAHG. THATS. THATS THE MOST OF IT. um. yeah. theyre a dreadful little polycule they are. So fucking clingy they r traumabonded. like little trembling chihuahua puppies. separation anxiety and all. virion and dakota share a comfy old victorian house in a suburban neighborhood maybe a fifteen minute walk from the protectorate hq. wibby starts out living w/ david and eventually just... all his stuff moves over to their place. their clothes r all mixed up they know each others blood types they're all sleeping together on the couch. eventually their house gets blown up. they all get various flavors of nightmare & are 1 million shades of debilitatingly mentally ill but like-- it works. they r good for each other. theyre good together. do not separate them. etc. i'm not even gonna fucking START talking abt their dynamics other than that but like. i mean. if you want a repeat of THIS u can always ask!!!!!!!

[wish-i-were-heather]

i just need to vent ignore this pls

oh my GOODNESSCAN YOU JUST ADMIT YOURE WRONG AUGH HOW HARD IS IT??? I DIDNT FUCKING DO ANYTHING!!! im sorry i fucking misunderstood you, its not worth any argument. its the STUPIDEST ARGUMENT LITERALLY WHY ARE YOU MAD??? she said to try on the dress, so i tried on the dress. then she says its the wrong one. okay, fine, my mistake. no problem. apparently there is a problem because "didnt you hear me tell you the other one we ordered arrived?" NO I CLEARLY DIDNT OTHERWISE I WOULDVE PUT THAT ONE ON? so its like ok fine ill put on the other its no big deal. but apparently i used the wrong fucking tone? what tone am i supposed to use i just talked normally. and i do like the dress i fucking do i like the dress damn why are you so pressed about it. "if you dont like it why did you buy it then its a waste" I LIKE THE FUCKING DRESS SHUT TF UP. and then apparently when he agrees that i didnt use a tone, "doesnt the tone she's using sound just like a meltdown? do you not hear it? NO HE DOESNT HEAR IT OBVIOUSLY THERES NO FUCKING TONE TO HEAR OMG ITS LITERALLY NOT A PROBLEM THERES NO NEED TO ARGUE I TRIED ON THE WRONG FUCKING DRESS LET IT GO. but apparently fucking not so im like oh sorry i didnt know wheres the dress im supposed to wear and she fucking goes "ill show you" in the most demeaning, slow, talking to someone whos overracting type of tone. like excuse me? all i did was ask a question? im not doing anything? so then i just respond "okay" in the same fucking tone. and when she hears that tone now she gets mad? yeah its not very fun to hear is it huh. and then shes like "oh nevermind we dont have to try it on well do it later" AND WALKS AWAY LIKE BITCH THIS WAS YOUR IDEA DO YOU WANT ME TO WEAR IT OR NOT? how can you give me this stupid ass attitude, say i have attitude, then walk away like im the dramatic overreacter here?

then she decides to just leave. fully leave. like i go into my room thinking we're done because i wasnt even that mad she was the one who was pissed. and then she knocks on the door (wow i didnt know she could do that she always just opens it) and is like uh where r u? and im like im in here and apparently that upsets her that im not trying on the dress that i didnt fucking know existed until five minutes ago and she just WALKS AWAY?? JUST SAYS WHATEVER AND FULLLY LEAVES. GOES OUTSIDE TO TAKE A WALK? HELLO? YOU CANT JUST LEAVE AN ARGUMENT WHEN YOURE LOOSING??? YOU CANT JUST WALK THE FUCK AWAY??

so then later i feel fine im not mad anymore i left that post with a bunch of tags complaining. and then i go to say goodnight and shes all stiff and he tells me shes still mad. and then she decides to talk about how shes "invisible and it feels like everyone is ignoring her and invalidating her emotions and stuff" LIKE LITERALLY WHO DID THAT? WHERE- WHAT? WHO??? like she doesnt know how to admit shes wrong its actually a problem. sometimes youre wrong and sometimes you have to be the bigger person. but no she has the emotional maturity of a five year old and decides to just sit there and cross her arms and not fucking talk as we both try to apologize??? and neither of us even know what we did wrong. and then SHE TRIES TO TURN IT AROUND AND "APOLOGIZES" AND IS LIKE OH IM WRONG ITS FINE WHATEVER. LIKE NO LETS TALK ABOUT THIS BUT SHE DOESNT WANT TO?? HELLO? normally the morning after an argument ill go and apologize because ill be wrong but this time i dont even know what to say because im not even doing anything wrong. shes the one who got mad at me for a simple fucking misunderstanding. all because i put on the wrong dress?? oh my goodness its not that deep at all just apologize and move on.

and the worst part is i was crying. i started crying. i was crying. during this whole damn argument. and i couldnt get words out bc my fucking throat was all weird. and i sounded rediculous. its fucking humiliating. i was trying to tell her like im not sad im not upset but she just gave me this nasty ass glare so i guess im the problem and im still overreacting.

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST ARGUMENT ANYONES EVER HAD OH MY GOODNESS LITERALLY JUST BECAUSE I MISUNDERSTOOD WHEN YOU SAID "THE DRESS ARRIVED AND I WANT YOU TO TRY IT ON." like im not even that important at all its not worth it. like oh my goodness just say youre wrong and move on. but the problem is she cant apologize and say shes wrong without playing the victim and "omg you guys dont even care im just invisible im being ignored your invalidating me" NO WERE NOT STOP TALKING

whatever its fine i guess. shes still important to me. i love her. shes just an only child and i really think it shows in the way she argues.

this is stupid. what a way to end the night with me crying because i accidentally used the wrong tone apparently and "had a meltdown" by litreally just explaining a simple misunderstanding.

but i can listen to short and sweet tomorrow!! i was gonna tonight but my nights fucking ruined :)

if you for some reason decided to read this, no you didnt

[hollowsart]

@biqueuerious replied to [this post]:

(under a readmore cuz LONG, but I'm replying at the end

don't underestimate how long this is.. oof I'm sorry)

I'm vibrating i need to know the more suggestive parts.. Akjdkkskss but i absolutely agree and think about this all the time. Like as much as he’s portrayed as a 40 y.o. virgin type-- he could make people swoon I’m sure. I just think he’s too headstrong on revenge a lot of the time 🤦 But the man has passion! He knows romance! He’s of the film industry, exactly, he’d know how to be suave. I cannot separate him from theater, he’s dramatic, he knows how to be extravagant. He knows how to perform! And even if he were submissive, as I often like to imagine him, he’d still be able to act and be damn good at it. But yes gosh thinking of his defenses coming down and his vulnerability exposing him is so.. wow. Quentin Beck, flustered. Quentin.. shy, maybe even at a lost for words - rare for a man who’s always talking. Tripping up on his words especially if a “scene” doesn't “play out” in his head the way he “directed”. (trying to be smooth when asking someone out or making a move and getting flirted with first, thus becoming too smitten to remember his “lines”) Definitely imagine he’s possessive, and can become intensely jealous. Though i do tend to romanticize a but of toxicity in my selfships I know it’s not for everyone - at the very least I imagine Quentin sulking dramatically if he saw his partner being flirted at by someone else. And subsequently doubling down on being a romantic. Which, gosh, the praise. I cannot separate Quentin from his need for praise I mean just look at him. Look at the way he acts. He’s a sucker for praise in any aspect of a relationship and would nearly crumble to pieces if he wasn’t given that sort of attention at least once per day. He’s.. a proud man so I doubt he’d beg for it or anything especially outside of the bedroom but again, pouting. He’d pout and sulk and sigh and cross his arms or lay dramatically on a lounge and close himself off for a few hours.

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ehehhe.. I can't share anything more suggestive here (gosh I wish), but-- I think his passion and dedication to the bit (revenge) is endearing, though.. but a little distraction might be helpful in some cases. ;) - also, you are so right. I think the revenge stuff is mostly just the writers, if we think of this outside the comics, cuz there's "more" one can do with his character if he just has some random scheme of trying to get revenge on Spider-Man, trying to take him out and blah blah blah. it's fine, I get more Mysterio content out of it, but I know they can do a lot more with his character if they just tried.

EXACTLY. EXACTLY!!! YOU GET IT. I don't think there's a single thing else I can say to add to this.

We love a "stoic" man whose walls crumble at the mere act of receiving mutual feelings. I feel it in my bones that if he met the right person, he would finally fall silent and not know what to say at all because of them. Fumbling, stumbling, berating himself mentally when he's being too self conscious over his "failures". if he just looked a little out from himself, he may see that he is still succeeding, he is winning the appeal to the person he likes. (gOSH I wish that was me for real, for real--) (I need vulnerable, shy, flustered Quentin Beck so bad, need it like I need air--)

while I, personally, don't care much for toxicity, I can understand some of the appeal in some aspects, no hate there. I just prefer a far more healthy kind of thing, myself lol ..I'm well aware I can be very "vanilla" as they say. - BUT YES. AUGH YES. POUTY BECK.. I am oblivious to flirting. I wouldn't know if someone was flirting me at all unless they were being extremely blunt and obvious about it, otherwise, I would just assume they're giving normal compliments LOL Beck doubling down on being romantic would be super effective on me. He'd be getting ALL the praise his precious little heart desires from me.

ahhahahaha.. Mysterio begging.. -sweating- yeah. He'd be dramatic enough to do that, sulking on a lounge like some victorian woman. He absolutely would so something like that. he wouldn't have to pout and sulk for long tho, I'm more than happy to tell him he's a wonderful illusionist, his magic tricks are beyond extraordinary, no one else can do it like he does~ and much much more to his little hearts content <3 AND NONE OF IT IS A LIE. IT'S ALL TRUE.