#i have so many more thoughts

[n1conicokneecaps]

LMK Season 5 Spoilers

Ok so all of us know that the scene where Wukong is about to fly into the pillar in MK's place is brutal and SAD and gut wrenching, but I haven't seen anyone really consider how absolutely TERRIFYING it probably was for MK to see his mentor do basically the same damn thing he did in season three.

Because despite all his character growth, Wukong is still throwing himself to the main conflict and insisting that he alone can tank it, can handle it for MK because surely this is HIS fault, so HE should be the one to bear the consequences. And thinking about that makes the part where MK uses the circlet so, SO MUCH MORE HEARTBREAKING. Because normally MK would never resort to hurting his friends, would never use one of his mentor's greatest traumas against him, but he's flying off just like he did the first time, insisting that he take the fall for the latest world ending calamity and MK can't, he WON'T, allow his mentor to throw himself away when he can DO SOMETHING this time.

Basically,

Wukong s3: "this isn't your fight"

Wukong s5: "this shouldn't have to be your fight"

[respectthepetty]

Home isn't only good for money!

It's obvious that food helps these ghost find closure because it heals part of their pain, but I'm focused on the ship were all trying to sail because my favorite evolution in this show is going to be Home going from eating frozen meals by himself to helping Peach cook professionally again.

Because the show began with them making meals.

The meal that Peach prepares is made in Best's home using ingredients from his fridge which Home watches from a distance.

And in the second episode, when Peach offered up a small homemade sandwich that was made with items from the convenience store, Home bought everything then he bought some more.

Which was an argument between the two characters.

Then episode three happened! In this episode, Home refused to let Pang and Peach use a gas stove, so they could only use the microwave, and this is where we learned that Home has never cooked a meal in his life.

And orders takeout.

He also admits to not wanting to eat alone and notices Peach's hand shaking again.

Home thinks making noodles is difficult, so Peach tells him to wash the basil, but then Home asks for soap. He knows nothing.

Yet he still tries.

And the meal that episode was a home for two people who loved each other.

We got Pang acknowledging they are a family while they were eating dinner, but also we got scenes during the credits of Home stealing Peach's glasses during that dinner.

And now in episode four, Home casually watches Peach make the ghost's meal in the ghost's home.

The scenes from the credits show us the group snacking on chips from a bag, only for Home to take an entire bowl of chips just to pour it out on the table, so Peach scolds him.

All of this is simply to point out that for a boy who didn't know how to cook and had no one to eat with, each episode shows him putting in a bit more effort to connect to the people around him. The meals have brought the boys closer, and now Home is in the kitchen with Peach. He might not be helping with the meals just yet, but he with a bit of practice and a lot of patience, he'll be ready to help when the time comes, so Home isn't just good for his money, but good because he will make an excellent partner.

[cellarspider]

Since I’ve been thinking about it all morning: here. A partial introduction to my favorite villain.

In the days of yore, when I was a teenager and video game hype was almost exclusively magazine-based, I saw a kid reading a copy of Game Informer.

“Hey,” said I, “could I see that for a second?”

The kid, not knowing what they were about to unleash, handed me the magazine.

I had seen this on the cover:

I had no idea what this was, but I knew that I wanted whatever it was selling.

I found out that this was an advertisement for City of Villains, an expansion to the previously-released MMO City of Heroes. I’d never played WoW with its Alliance and Horde split, so the idea was new to me. WoW also failed to present me with anything like the vibes of the newly-introduced lead villain, Lord Recluse.

Yes, they liked this art so much they did it twice, and I’m glad they did. More below the fold on why he was so appealing for a young queer kid, for those who are intrigued.

I’ll keep this focused on a single topic for now: The intensely queer vibes that Recluse acquired over the course of the game’s plot. Keep in mind that this game came out in 2004, so the actual amount of openly queer content was very minimal. However, CoH/CoV developed a reputation as an extremely queer-friendly space, with a community Pride event becoming a semi-official yearly celebration, complete with the devs showing up as major NPCs, custom assets, and spawning in unique raids that tanked everybody’s framerate. Equivalents of this have carried over past the game's tragic shutdown in 2012, with community-run servers still staging their own Pride events.

If the art above doesn’t make it clear, Recluse had a much-beloathèd archnemesis, Statesman. If the art above doesn’t make it abundantly clear, this was always an extremely fraught relationship, with a complicated backstory that became more and more tragic the deeper you got into the game lore, eventually bordering on cosmic horror. But one thing was for certain, this was Hark A Vagrant levels of obsession over a nemesis.

The game at first seemed to backstep on that: oh, it turned out, Recluse had once been villainous life partners with a woman who went by the villain name Red Widow. She died decades ago in the collateral damage of one of Recluse’s nigh apocalyptic confrontations with Statesman, and her death left him with nothing but his obsession. So sad.

And then when Statesman died in the course of the game’s plot, Recluse spiraled into depression and nihilism that was only halted when someone managed to dig Red Widow’s soul out of storage and resurrected her.

It was always deniably presented, but the implication was very much that the two were functionally equivalent emotional anchors to his psyche, and losing both of them was something he couldn’t survive.

Also, there was that one time that the game’s Valentine’s Day event was advertised with a heart split down the middle, half Statesman’s iconography and half Recluse’s, topped with a banner that read “AMOR OMNIA VINCIT”, meaning “LOVE CONQUERS ALL”.

And that’s without getting into the first tie-in book. A prequel starting at the end of the 1920s, it was a delightfully and deliberately pulpy book, which… centered around a complicated man slowly dying of lingering health problems after his exposure to mustard gas in WWI, and his very good friend, estranged from his family for unknown reasons, who’d devoted the last ten years to caring for the protagonist, and helping him seek a cure. This has carried on year after year, even though the man’s illness has made him unresponsive to the emotional needs of others, something they both know is going to culminate one day in the two parting ways.

…And then they get superpowers, and their relationship does not get any healthier from there. But what it does gain is a surprising trans metaphor as our now-antagonist slowly metamorphoses into the spidery villain I know and love.

I completely missed this back in the day. I have no idea if it was intentional. But there’s a scene where this man looks in the mirror and sees the first signs of his oncoming physical transformation, and he likes what he sees. He has no idea where he’s going, but he’s excited for it.

…And he’s started killing people who refer to him by his former name, in the most literal case of “dead naming” I’ve ever seen.

Throughout the rest of the series, Recluse is unapologetically who he is, putting him in that category of queercoded villain that doubles as a power fantasy. He’s grown physically monstrous and loves it. He has respect from everyone around him, either legitimately for his capabilities or out of fear of what he can do to those who don’t give him his due. A new demigod who is only matched by the man he’s never stopped obsessing over. He wins just as often as he loses, and often salvages something from his defeats in ways that nobody expected.

He is terrible. And he is wonderful.

[lizpaige]

say what you want about greywaren, but i don't think we talk enough about the following:

declan's john wick moment

matthew punching declan in the face

[allamericanb-tch]

“i just can’t support taylor after [blah blah blah]” then don’t! it’s that simple.

[deluweil]

First 911 6x13 watch is done, I swear these two are at the very least sleeping together.

Like omg, the looks, the smiles, the exasperated "Buck.." When Buck talks about former women, he slept with.

I love partners in crime buddie! It's so awesome and amusing!

I loved the captains being indulgent of Buck and the gentle prodding.

And Eddie, knowing the exact time Buck was dead, I can't get past that.

And can we talk about the fact that Buck has a couch and the Diaz boys are still sitting with him in the kitchen?!

Or how about the fact that Hen and Karen came to tell Denny's father that they have to set ground rules for him to see his son, and right after that, we get Buck with Christopher alone in the kitchen.

Denny, yelling my dad could be dead and you don't even care, straight out threw me to you could be dead next year.

There were a lot of elements in the Denny storyline that we had with Eddie and Christopher.

Also, Christopher and Buck, Christopher insisting on seeing Buck in the hospital in 6x11 and Carla taking him, like Toni talking sense into Henren, then taking him in to see his father.

The stories are different but similar.

But I loved the Denny storyline and also loved Denny's scene with Chimney. It's obvious that for Denny, Chimney is the fun beloved uncle. He seems like a partner in crime if Denny warns him not to get in yet because it's not safe, lol.

Later, we have, in comparison, Buck's scenes with Christopher, not uncle, but dad.

Also, can we talk about Buck doing math and Eddie researching this phenomenon? Pulling a full Buck, next to Buck, in Buck's kitchen.

I love it!! I want more!!! 😍😍

[deleteduser3837492]

my silly lil bracelets. all specific for each song/album except vore I just wanted it to be cute and pink for obvious reasons 😂 I’m gonna be dumb and explain each bracelet below the cut because I guess hyperfixation. I see like imagery when I listen to music so putting it into bracelets has been fun. Have lots of ideas for other bands/songs too.

Why are you never real— from my favorite TMBTE song “The Apparition”. Has UV beads that change colors in the sunlight, like a disappearing ghost. Wasn’t sure this one would fit on a bracelet but I’m so glad it did. I think about this song constantly.

DYWTYLM (I have to say it in my head every time to remember the letters)—similar to vore just that they’re both sad or fucked up and I wanted them to be cute instead lol. But also I feel this song has a pop-y vibe so there’s that too.

High Water- has transparent blue beads (duh).

TPWBYT— almost every song on this album reminds me of water somehow (if not every single one) and I also think of the relationship described. So there’s two colored clay beads that initially are separate but mix in the end, becoming each other. Like drowning.

Euclid— the ending of a vicious cycle, lots of possibilities. Similar to like a star shower (think the scene in Howls Moving Castle where there’s stars falling to the ground)

Telomeres— for this one I imagine like deep oceans and whales. I really like how the gradient turned out gotta make more of those (scratches good brain itch)

Dark Signs—no streetlights, so lots of stars. dark. you feel me?

Nazareth— y’all don’t know how much I fw this song lolol I’d be surprised if it’s not top this year. always the first one I choose on my sleep token all playlist. anyway the line “guess what a hollow point does to a naked body” is what this one is themed for with red and black.

Aqua Regia— another UV color changer because SCIENCE you know? Aqua Regia being a compound that dissolves gold and platinum—also some clear beads with gold flecks in them 😉 (took more time putting the beads under a nail lamp for a few minutes at a time and sorting them only to find out the ones I used on the apparition bracelet were different colors when I finished the bracelet so rip)

anyway if you read all of this you’re a nerd and i love it we should be friends :) kinda wanna make more bracelets—was also thinking of some spirit box ones since im seeing them next month 😇

[thrnwhip]

oh god hadestown is the only thing in my brain currently sorry i feel like ive been reprogrammed after seeing it live

[rossithepixie]

can't lie.. Childe gets some great fighting sequences.

Also you guys have no idea how much restraint it took me to not liveblog me playing the main quest in fontaine. No idea. I fucking loved it though.

[omocatboy]

had a dream that kicked off this thought train with an OC, but i can’t share it w my friends so here goes:

merfolk who has spent their entire life in the water, used to just peeing whenever they need to. it’s easy, and convenient! they don’t even have to think about it.

well, they get legs and come on land, and quickly learn when they just flood their pants where they’re standing out in public with their human mate that, oh, that’s not exactly acceptable behavior. they get stared at, gawked at, their mate immediately ushers them away from all the stares and asks them what happened. what do they mean? they just had to go, so they… went?

it has to be explained to them, over a warm bath and new pants, that no, honey, you can’t just pee whenever you need to, where you are. you have to… hold it until you find an acceptable place. they start to understand, and their human mate helps them practice a bit ar home with telling them when they have to go and leading them to the toilet.

toilets are… weird. it’s something humans don’t think about, and the human didn’t think to teach them how to use it properly. when the merfolk comes out of the bathroom with soaked pants again, the human flounders.

“what happened?! you didn’t go in the toilet??”

“…no, I did :(. i sat down, and…”

then it has to be explained that no, honey, you have to also take your pants and underwear off when you use the toilet. it’s all so confusing!

[marianas-trench-is-not-that-deep]

The Legacy of Marianas Trench

So I was listening to Danger Days by My Chemical Romance (for anyone who hasn't heard it, recommend it a hundred percent), and it really got me thinking about them for a second. I'm not sure how many of you guys are My Chemical Romance fans but the fact is, when the Danger Days album came out, it was not well received :( . A lot of the fans had clung to their heavier and gloomy music that was associated with their previous albums -- Black Parade, Three Cheers, and Bullets. Those three albums have all progressed in their own way with Black Parade being their magnum opus (in my humble opinion) but Danger Days went such a different direction. I feel like this little decision can be paralleled with Marianas Trench's career.

Danger Days (in my opinion) is such a magnificent album but so many people and fans alike dismissed it because of its drastic change of sound, a more brightly, sassy, and fun sound. The album itself I feel like it still represents MCR, with their experimental sounds and twist on alternative music and lyrics that criticize society, but so many people just couldn't get it into because of their "poppier" sound. Gerard Way has even stated in a few interviews regarding DD that the reason why he chose to change sound was because he thought it was time to start something different and stray away from all the angst. And sadly, as previously mentioned, it wasn't well received than their other albums, with fans even commenting and spreading that they should just go back to their "old sound".

This has been the case for a lot of the artists, especially rock artists I seem to notice. The artist would like to try something different from the sound they established and end up finding some kind of push back when they try to experiment with different sounds.

This is where Marianas Trench comes in. Marianas Trench has not have that problem. In fact, it's the opposite. Fans ANTICIPATE how different the next album will be compared to their other albums and draw parallels and find those little easter eggs. They can't wait to hear what kind of musical influence will be the main sound for the album and can't wait to hear the lyricism along with it. All five studio albums so different from each other but we KNOW it's Marianas Trench. It has this Marianas Trench signature sound that is weirdly enough, not a sound, but more of a passion (?) and creativity (?) that only Marianas Trench could have. And they are so successful in doing this because Josh recognized from the get-go that he doesn't want to be stuck in this box. One musical genre and be known for just one really good album and his fans to be stuck in that genre, compared to MCR and much like other bands who had accidentally trapped themselves in that way. Cause when one traps themselves in that box, then they will reach at a crossroads; do something safe that they know their fans will enjoy, or do something the artist would enjoy to do with the risk that fans will be disappointed. They are stuck with having to figure out how to do the same thing repackaged in a new wrapping.

But Marianas Trench knows that whether they experiment or not, their fans will always be so supportive of them. I for sure will love them. And I believe that some would actually be disappointed if they don't experiment and show us something different. And it gives them that liberty to evolve and grow in different sounds. In simpler terms, I guess I could say that they got the best of both worlds, being able to experiment with the safety net of their supportive fans.

However, I can't help but think, that may be the very reason that's holding them back. As one knows, Marianas Trench are KINGS in Canada but are almost barely known in any other places. And what I mean by that is that they are not as big as I think that they should be. But maybe it could be because of their non-commitment to one genre, they aren't able to have new or more listeners stick with them. For example, one fan loves their Fix Me album but can't listen to their other discographies because it's just not their cup of tea (which is absolutely okay). But at the same time, they have found their audience, fans will stick with them, and be able to actually enjoy what they are doing and that is enough. More than enough. Because they have the ability to do what they love professionally.

I know the topic is a little more multifaceted than what I explained here but I just can't help but draw some parallels. I will forever be grateful that Marianas Trench is able to strive in this generation with their ever changing sound and wish them all the fame and fortune that they deserve but it's also really great to seem them be grateful for the fame they have earned. They are truly just happy being able to do what they love and stay true to themselves without getting greedy. And i am so glad, we as a fanbase, gave them that kind of chance. So I would really like to thank you guys for supporting them as a fellow fan myself and thank the band for not stopping and continuing to grow.

[leafatlaw]

back on my dsmp anaylsis again apparenly but, dsmp as a MUSICAL.

imagine s1 is bright catchy songs, very hamilton/six. or until pogtopia that is. wilbur sings It was never meant to be reprise, and its absoulty haunting, the s1 finale is a combination of all the past songs, with the main cast all singing until it casades into a bravo, then cut to dream singing a finale line.

s2 is more more sombre, reprises everywhere, along with more like phantom of the ppera sytle songs. A cut to tubbo singing stressed in a lmanbrg cabnit meeting, to tommy singing all alone in exile, clingduo unknowlingly singing a duet of loniness. s2 ends with the manburg anthem like the jan 6th stream actually did.

s3 gets messier, big ensemble songs. into the woods, individual songs that meet up accidentaly. dream dreams humming can be heard no matter the song. Las Nevadas is Chicago style songs, and Karls song are all jukebox musical style songs. (The egg plot is just little shop of horrors-)

Tommy stops singing after dream escapes prison.

It all ends with a, the guy who didnt like musicals ending, the audience horried but unable to do anything.

[lesbeansprout]

I finally watched Everything Everywhere All at Once and FUCK I have more thoughts than I can put in words, but the one semi coherent thought I’m stuck on is how well the movie demonstrates how sensory overload feels to me without actually triggering sensory overload (for me- can definitely see how it would for folks!!)

Blasting an audience with loud sounds and having someone scream and cover their ears does nothing to convey sensory overload. But imagining being fine one moment and then all of the sudden you feel like a stranger to yourself, like you’re moving at half speed, like your brain is half in one place half in another and you can barely think? That’s it. That’s what it feels like.

[madsgotmadagain]

Thinking about a ftm person in the maze runner not remembering he's ftm

So this takes place a little before the events of tmr, like he was the greenie before chuck and Thomas

it certainly was a shock when they got the months supplies and the new greenie. It was weird

there was a girl in the box. At least, back then he looked like a girl. And everyone was very confused

why were they getting a girl now? After years of getting just boys? It was definitely weird

But regardless, they pulled her up from the box and gave her the tour, telling her everything she needed to know

She was a little freaked out to say the least. She couldn't remember anything and woke up in a box. Freaky. She didnt even know her own name. The guy who was showing her around, she thinks his name was Newt or somthing, said that sooner or later she would remember her name, but that would be it.

And she did remember...sorta. She remembered A name to be specific.. but it didnt feel like it was hers. It just didnt feel right... so she just kept saying she couldnt remember. Everyone kept telling her it was fine, shell remember soon.

It was about a month now, and she was settled. She had her job, a med Jack, a routine, and aside from being the only girl at the time, she was treated normally for the most part.

But now a bunch of the weird feelings she had been feeling intensified. She hated being a girl. She hated bleeding monthly, hated her breasts, but most of all, she hated being called a girl

It was normal for her to be called girl and she, but she hated it and didnt know why... why those little pronouns bothered her so much... untill one day, she did somthing.

Her hair, at the time, had been getting in her face, and it was driving her crazy. So, on a partially slow day, she took a pair of scissors and cut her hair. And she went shorter. And shorter. And shorter untill she had a cut that would cause the boys to mistake her for a guy from behind. She then looked in the mirror (idk if the med jack hut had mirrors but just go with it please 💀)

And when she looked at her reflection, she was in awe. She looked so, so,.. boylike. And god, she loved it. And then she tried somthing else.

(A/n here but plzzz dont bind with bandages irl, it's really bad for you 😭)

She took some bandages of a shelf and binded her breasts to her chest, then put her shirt back on. And wow.... she loved it

It was then, she realized, she didnt want to be her. she wanted to be him. The boy in the mirror, and that's what He decided he was. And now, he finally knew his name.

Yeah so sorry if its rushed, I'm tired and just needed to get this out of my head 😭

If anyone's interested tho, I have a few more thoughts that didnt make the final draft, so I can make a part two

Have a nice day! :)

[quartz-clusters]

Analysing my thoughts again… kink edition

Finding the middle ground or any sort of ground between some of my kinks and my very strong anti patriarchal mentality in life is quite the mindfuck honestly. So much kink, even in queer context, adheres to such patriarchal notions and structures, even something as simple as hierarchical power structure, that breaking it down and analysing it makes me sick to my stomach. After all, nothing exists in isolation, and each thought and act each one of us has further facilitates and gives continuous permission and ground for patriarchy to exist and thrive in our society, which benefits no one ever, not even when people try to argue that patriarchy is good.

Yet living in a patriarchal society that does everything in its power to maintain the power structure and grip that it facilitates, the systemic and systematic enforcement of it, my framing of thought exists within it and it is difficult to distance myself from thinking outside the box of patriarchal structures and norms……

Just a thought that has been bugging me more about everything. Always up to talk about it with anyone who passes this post by.

[blueboyluca]

“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”

— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)