#can we have a cake at the episode tell me we're having cake at the episode i'm buying a cake it's official girls oh my God AAAH

[fountainpenguin]

Mind Over Magic

Crocker stuffing the cafeteria ceiling full of Fs...

So funny that A.J.'s reaction to Timmy getting answers right on a quiz is that he's lucky and Chester just assumes Timmy cheated somehow.

Wanda really has no filter... She'll just call her godchild a jerk with no hesitation. lmao.

I love Veronica's crush on Timmy.

Elmer has life so freakin' rough. There's just one kid in this class who's inexplicably possessed... incredible. <- Has a sudden urge to binge "Never Had a Friend Like Me" again.

I totally forgot Crocker knows about Elmer's mind control situation (or at least, we know Elmer asked him about it and Crocker promised to help him).

Wanda holding an entire armful of candy while Timmy gets only one piece... lol.

Hard Copy

Remembering how afraid Cosmo is of the doctor... Me glancing awkwardly at my 'fics like "Yeah, that tracks."

Cracks me up that Wanda and Juandissimo have an ongoing relationship of her using him "as bait." That's just what they are and he will play along every time... They are so funny.

This is such a good episode for Wanda... All the magical mistakes and poor choices in this episode are hers. I like when she pulls a jar of jam from the copier and starts eating it, completely forgetting what Timmy asked for... or when she and Timmy eat cake instead of solving the magical mishap affecting them. Very Season 7-esque when they have a tea party while Cosmo's gone ("Super Zero").

RIP Flipsie's indoctrination into a life of crime.

Parenthoods

Still so funny that Cosmo loves Canada in this episode and then in Season 7, you learn he's convinced his brother invented Canada.

I want Hazel to meet Schnozmo so bad...

Every time Mr. Turner calls his wife nicknames like Snugglebutt I lose my mind. Man just loves fawning over his wife.

Lol, there's a scene in Frayed Knots I wrote years ago that we're almost upon, and it draws directly from this episode (Anti-Wanda convinced the Anti-Fairy legal system will see her through).

Timmy has some really cute body language in this episode.

Honestly, this is one of my favorite episodes- it's just so silly and cute. Good use of magic and shapeshifting, lots of fun jokes like magic bending the fabric of the world like a map (or Timmy trying to assist with a theft).

-> I have a draft somewhere where I note down odd things that aren't against Da Rules, and I think "Assisting with crime" is one I need to add.

THERE THEY ARE! Cosmo and Wanda turn into rats at the end of this episode, and I think that's the shape of the rat I saw during my first watch of "1500 Minutes of Fame" and wondered if I'd seen it before. I'll have to compare these sometime.

The Big Superhero Wish

I have a soft spot for "Big Superhero Wish" because it's one of the first episodes I ever saw (during a visit to a pizza place when the sound was muted).

-> I think it's a fun one in the way it looks at relationships between random schoolkids (Especially Veronica). I also enjoy how Chester gets to chew through matter in this episode and then when you get to Season 5, he's trying to chew his way out of the F.U.N. Academy with the same "Munch munch munch" dialogue he does here.

Apparently Nega-Chin can tell Timmy and Remy apart even though regular Crimson Chin can't.

Timmy drowning in papers marked F followed by "Cool, there's a D in here!"

I like watching Timmy's average problems like getting picked on and wanting a glass of milk to cheer him up, but not even getting that.

Minotaur Francis is everything to me...

I like how Crocker knows a lot about comics, but specifically because he's confiscated them from kids during class. Playing that against his miserable child upbringing is kind of funny... I wonder if he read many comics as a kid, or if that's not something he ever really wished for.

Actually, Timmy being cut off before finishing a wish is something I would've liked to see more often. It's just silly. The tension balance in this episode once the heroes are wished away and villains stay is pretty good.

ksdlkfj, "I used my regular kid window-opening powers!" Elmer...

Totally forgot Chester ran up to Vicky and bit her on the leg, oh geez.

"My nega-vision will cut through your bodies like nega-vision!"

I would've loved an episode where Timmy goes into the real world to rescue the writer of the Crimson Chin comics since this episode ends with the Nega-Chin taking him captive. Alas. I guess I could write a 'fic about that, but I think it defeats the point a little when the visuals aren't going to change, haha.

I really want to watch "Masked Magician" again now, but I think that's later in Season 5 so it'll come up later in my binge.

Vicky Loses Her Icky

Ooh, Sanderson head gag means "Pixies Inc." is coming up after this!

This episode is so goofy. Timmy's parents hire Vicky to babysit Timmy while they sit in the car in the driveway, waiting to be hungry enough to leave to the restaurant.

I wonder why I always see people complain this episode is annoying for "giving Vicky the backstory of being evil due to being bitten by a bug," because it's clearly stated that the bug came about because she was mean and Cosmo and Wanda had to give it physical form to remove it [Wanda claiming "All that evil has to go somewhere"]. /shrug

Here it is! I've been trying to remember what the "corn on Pluto" episode was.

I don't... I don't love Vicky saying she's leaving to donate organs. Are they HER organs?

Alarm bells instantly ringing when Vicky offers to dig people basements. I don't think Dale would like that.

Shout-out to Timmy's dad being rescued from the evil bug and immediately saying, "Hey, we're at the Cake 'N Bacon... Are we at least being nice?"

President dressing up like George Washington was such a funny way to avoid depicting a specific president.

Pixies Inc.

My boys are in the house!!

How have I literally never noticed Timmy's in the Future Business Leaders of America club...

Y'know, I always thought H.P. was just blatantly losing the golf game despite cheating, but watching again, the reason he has more strokes than Timmy in golf is because he went first.

Never not funny how many emotions the Pixies show when they're actually spooked or sad. They talk in monotone, but still make expressions... and that's not even counting their silly dialogue. I love them.

Dale Dimmadome & H.P. dynamic is so silly to me... Dale grew up around Dimmadome Farms [implied] and runs a burger chain, and the soy- & rice-loving Pixies aren't exactly known for eating meat. I just want them to try getting on the same page and continually hit roadblocks that make it weird.

Baby Face

I had no memory of "Baby Face" coming immediately after "Pixies Inc.," but oh my gosh does that make the "Gary and Betty seemingly knew about Pixies the whole time" theory funnier.

There they are! My other sillies are in the house!

Wait.......... hold up. Were Gary and Betty in the room when Timmy made his baby wish? -> There... there's no door behind them when the camera pans over.

They are so dang sus. Why were these babies unsupervised. Why did they not hesitate for a split-second before cramming Francis in a teeny tiny cage..... They are my everything.

crying at the huge crash sound effect that hits as Gary and Betty open the door off-screen. Why are they like that...

I say this every time I watch this episode, but Gary and Betty opting not to help a crying child and instead lock him in a soundproof dome is so dang funny. These two should not be left with kids. If they show up in New Wish with the Pixies, I will die actually... I still can't believe we got a Flappy Bob cameo. My son.

I feel like Vicky knowing Gary's and Betty's fun box song by heart is such a neat detail. Why is she hanging out with them. Why would they ever hang out with her. Fascinating...

Mr. Right

Another of the episodes I watched muted at a pizza place once upon a time...

Timmy and Melvin shoved into the same locker is giving me Leonard/Tammy flashbacks.

Elmer really doesn't keep his problems secret, huh? ("The boil doesn't like to be touched!")

Shout-out to the running gag of Francis scheduling his beatings.

I wonder why Vicky didn't go to school. The elementary school got out early. Maybe "recording Timmy's pain for future generations as a short film" was her homework.

...... Okay, actually.... I can TOTALLY see why A.J. goes on to found the Galax Institute in A New Wish based on his sudden uptick of interest in Timmy after noticing he's right all the time. I guess he really will chase the unexplained!

I love Francis... "Guess what I have behind my back. And don't say scorpion, because I checked." <- Guy who's really itching to finish my "Francis with a fairy godparent" 'fic...

lol, is Wanda's signature in her poof cloud the same as her signature when she signed papers in "Pixies Inc."? I think it might be.

That's all for now.

[elytrafemme]

every single fictional character i like should split and have mood swings like me. "ohhhhh but it's not canotical" "ohh they have good control over their emotions and stable views on the world" i don't fucking care. i see cq in his fake desert i see klavier's control dialogue i see dahlia and her serial murders and komaeda and the gun literally fuck with me right now. we need to stop being cowards about our fictional character headcanons i think everyone should kill people always because i can't

[h50europe]

8.06 post mortem - Buck/Tommy - General - 9-1-1 Zombified

Many of us wondered why a cut emergency case from episode 7.04 was used. A novelty and if you look closely, you'll notice that the characters appeared very different from how they did in the rest of season 8, and the scenes felt erratic. This inconsistency is reminiscent of the writing from Andrew Meyers, who also wrote episode 7.04. However, in that episode, he had a co-writer who was clearly more talented. Episode 8.06 was poorly written compared to 7.04. Alone the scene in the beginning. Buck could have pointed out that this chick was interrupting the date he had with his boyfriend. Tommy then mentioned the Kinsey scale

Our walking encyclopedia had no idea what his boyfriend was talking about. Seriously? Also, Buck doesn't want to buy a present for their 6-month anniversary, and Tommy gives him 2 Lakers baseball cards and awkwardly mentions that Buck could go with Eddie? Is this dinner supposed to be romantic? Well, they could have gone to McDonalds. Meyers should have consulted his co-writer at this point; we're heading straight for disaster. Then Tim had this wonderful idea with Abby and thought it was hilarious. The guy's humour isn't just weird, it's kind of crude. Abby never mentioned that she went out with another guy from the 118. Isn't that weird? No one ever knew about it? Not Hen, not Chim? For two years? Did Tommy keep her locked in his basement? This plot is so poorly constructed that it's cringe-worthy at best. And that's when Himbo's jaw hit the floor… along with the audience.

The only good scene was Josh's GLEE speech. And I may be reading between the lines, but I felt that the way Josh talked about post and past GLEE and how Buck can't blame Tommy for his actions because times were different was a wink and a nod to the haters. I really had the impression that this was a cunning move to address why Tommy was who he was back then and why he has changed now.

But seconds later I nearly choked on my drink, and I can tell you it's orgasmic when a sip of Pepsi comes out of your nose, when Maddie said, "She wondered how many men Abby had turned gay." Because I was chatting to a friend before I watched the episode and I almost said the same thing. I live in Europe, so I watched it the next day, knowing what was coming, but nothing about that particular scene. Which, frankly, was terrible.

Forgive me for ignoring the emergencies in this episode. They were repetitive, to say the least, just with different protagonists.

So far we have a recycled episode, a recycled ex, a recycled emergency and a recycled scenario, Maddy is pregnant (hooray). It begins to reek of decay.

Brownie points to those who aren't already traumatised or bored to death. Now for the highlight: Tommy shows up at Buck's apartment in a great mood. He is looking forward to a date with his friend and hot sex as the icing on the cake (that's what I had in mind). Tommy gets suspicious when Buck asks him to sit down. It doesn't take long before he pulls out his phone and shows his friend photos of Abby and a younger Buck. This is followed by an awkward explanation of why he didn't share the news in the restaurant, and Tommy's reaction is a little awkward too. But this is only the overture to the worst retconning I have seen on television in a long time. The coincidence is swept under the carpet in the blink of an eye, and now it gets creepy.

Compare the scene in the coffee shop with this one. It has the same structure, bit by bit. Buck invites Tommy to the wedding in the coffee shop, and Tommy says, "What?" Here it is: "I want you to move in with me." We have a mashup of the first kiss and the coffee shop scene, and Oliver plays it similarly. The worst part is when Tommy turns into his zombie version. Excellently played by Lou. No doubt about it. He gave it his all. He maimed that shitty script, which felt like Meyers had raided AO3, picked the worst written fics and went for the most cringe-worthy insult he could find for a bisexual. "I was your first, but I won't be your last." Hello? This topic only comes to Tommy's mind after he is asked to move in together? I was expecting "I can't move in with you because I wouldn't know where to put my car lift and Muay Thai studio". No, it's because all the trust and love Tommy put in Buck is wiped out by the retconning of Tommy's personality. He succumbs to total chaos. This is not the Tommy we met in S7 and certainly not the one we met in 8.05. Fuck me! It didn't make sense. We would have needed a lot more background information ON SCREEN to make it believable. A scene from Tommy's past. Who hurt him so badly? It wasn't Abby. She only managed to traumatise Buck. Was it after he met Abby? Was it another guy?

Hello writers, are you still in your right mind? We have no clues. Neither the loyal fans and certainly not the new ones. You're reducing a character to a sad laughing stock. You rob him of all his merits, which you had Buck recite like a poem in school. And then you expect us to believe it? You steamroll over everything that's been painstakingly built up to this episode? It's actually convenient, I let the whole relationship run off screen. We don't see any flying lessons together, no training together, no cosy get-togethers in front of the TV, no exchange of affection, nothing. It's all headcanon. Guys, I've seen shows and movies where a sequence like this lasted five minutes and you knew where the couple stood. Maybe a flashback or two into Tommy's past would have helped. But no, instead the audience had to put up with the same old nonsense. A ridiculous story about an urn, a guy who sneezes and his intestines fall out, a kid who doesn't fall down a drain but slips down a pipe. They give us nothing, but we're supposed to believe everything, retconning is so great. If any of us wrote fanfiction like that, we'd be banned from AO3. And as if that wasn't enough, Tommy stands up and says, "Believe me, I didn't see this coming either. Tell me, were you on drugs when you were writing? There are a thousand ways to respond sensibly to "Let's move in together" without turning it into such a dumpster fire. The crowning glory of all this madness is when Tommy says "I'll see you around Buck" instead of Evan (the same words he said to Evan when he left him standing outside the restaurant on their first date). Where did that come from? It's as if Tommy had lost all respect for his lover, or as if he wanted to punch him in the face while he was already on the ground. We, the viewers, also had this feeling. And Tommy's behaviour was completely disturbed. I wonder if he checked himself into a mental facility right after that.

I won't say anything about the rest of the episode because I'm a polite person.

Conclusion: Please take the pen away from this lunatic and never let him write anything again or give him a co-writer like in 7.04. The guy is totally unhinged.

Extra brownies, you made it!

[mortuarywriting]

Falling into Place

Ao3 Link - [First] - [Next Chapter ->]

All things considered this isn't what you were expecting to wake up to when you went to bed. One minute you're on your phone, trying to pass out, and the next? You're here. You've had some interesting greetings in your life, but dropping about six feet and having twelve guns leveled at your face? That takes the cake

Warnings:

Reader Insert, Plus-Size Reader, The Author Regrets Everything, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Isekai, canon divergence Look we're gonna dig into the implications of omegasverse changing bits and pieces of history as well as addressing whatever the FUCK is happening as CoD's history. Idk man Godzilla is canon and nobody bats an eye at that fact and you think I'm gonna be normal about that? No

You could be having a worse day, you think, as you stare at the interrogation table you're cuffed to. They could've shot you the second you fell the six feet from the sky into a random army base. That's a very real thing that could've happened.

But no, you just had a dozen guns pointed at you in one moment and a slew of questions you didn't have satisfying answers for.

No, you had no idea how you got there. You'd been in bed tooling around on your phone and then you were falling.

They asked who you worked for, and were not impressed by your mundane answer. You didn't work for some pmc or intelligence organization. You asked them to their faces if they thought you could pass a PT test if you tried. Not that they answered or appreciated your point, mind.

It was only after you gave them whatever identifying information you had that things got… spicy.

"I would love to tell you what this designation of yours is if you tell me what you mean. Is it like a classification of civilian versus enlisted? Is it physical? Is it your horoscope? I don't know what I don't know," you explain again for the Nth time. You didn't wanna play twenty questions but here you fuckin were, captive audience and all.

The man asking you questions had lost his charming good cop look. He was getting more and more annoyed on this one, "your designation," a demand, not a question and sure as shit not an answer.

"Again, would love to tell you! I don't know what you mean! Feels like some kinda Star Wars thing," you grumble the last bit to yourself but the man cocks his head.

His eyes narrow, "what are… Star Wars, you said?"

You blink owlishly, "beg pardon?"

"Star War. Clarify."

It's your turn for your brow to furrow, and furrow it does, "Star Wars? As in the multi-billion dollar franchise created by George Lucas and eventually sold to Disney," your tone is questioning, just shy of asking if the guy lived under a rock but his expression didn't let up and the last thing you needed was bad cop, so you continued, "the story of what happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away? The political space series of movies versus Star Trek's more scientific and discovery based longstanding TV show? Nine major movies and the Clone Wars before Disney sunk their talons in. Like yeah we got more shows and movies that expanded the universe but they also cut out decades of book contributions in their acquisition and that kinda sucked. But yeah, that Star Wars?"

"Nine movies," his tone is disbelieving, and now it's your turn for your eyebrows to raise, "can you name them?"

You nod, "well yeah. Do you want them in episode order or release?"

His brows furrow, "did they not release in order?"

"In a sense? Three trilogies, 4-5-6 back in the late 70s early 80s, then 1-2-3 in the late 90s early 00s, and 7-8-9 through the teens. So order, yes, just… not a cohesive one."

"Release, then," he leaned back and crossed his arms, a position you'd love to mimic if you weren't cuffed to the table for… an indeterminate period of time now, actually.

"A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi-"

"Woah now, empire? What's a jeddy?"

You give him a blank look, trying very hard to mask your disbelief as you look between him and the mirror behind him. You look at your reflection, take a deep breath, and- "sir would it be easier for you to maybe check the internet?"

He seemed to bristle, nose flaring and looking at you expectantly.

You just… kinda sat there. You tapped your fingers together on the desk and kept the eye contact he was intent on. It took a good minute and him getting progressively pissier before you simply ask, "would you like the other movies now?"

You didn't expect an explosion of movement from the man. He downright snarled and slammed his hands on the table as he burst to his feet, the sudden change sending his chair screeching back before falling with a clatter. You leaned as far back as your cuffed hands would allow, eyes wide and a panic rising.

Both of you turned to look at the door when it slammed open with a barked, "Williams!" 

The man who opened it reared back a bit, "Christ, layin' it on a bit thick," he groused, his tone sounding more like someone chastising a teenager for using too much Axe body spray. He smoothed his posture back into something casual as he fanned the air dismissively with a hand, "cap wants you to take a walk."

Your interrogator- Williams, apparently- stares at the man in the door, the two locking eyes before the one in the door straightens from his purposely relaxed posture. You watch the both of them, noting the shoulders tensing as the two just. Staring at each other? Eventually the guy who'd been grilling you looked away and stormed out, the man in the doorway letting him slip out easily enough before turning a charming look back to you.

He took a minute to fan the door a few times to get newer, blissfully cool air in before he entered the room, "sorry 'bout him. He really did a number in here," the new guy tsked before closing the door quietly behind himself.

Your brow furrowed even as you slowly relaxed a bit, had this Williams guy like… farted or something? A nice quirk of ventilation keeping you from smelling something abhorrent? Either way you simply shrug as he walks in and tips the chair back up, sitting and giving another reassuring smile, "how you doing, love?"

You opened and closed your mouth a few times before simply settling on, "I'm a bit… whelmed? This has been," you give as vague a rolling gesture as you can without your cuffs rattling too badly, "a lot? And I have no idea what just set him off either?"

It's the man before you's turn to quirk a brow, "no idea?"

"If I knew the answers to his questions I'd've given 'em by now. I don't, though, and then he just started staring? And hell I just thought it was some kinda macho 'I can stare the truth out of you,'" you pitched your voice lower and pushed your shoulders out for a second to mimic the douchebag behavior before settling, "so I kept eye contact because I'm so out of my depth I have no reason to lie at all and now…" you trail off, gesturing around the room, "all that."

The man nods slowly, "alright love, could you tell me about the last five years?"

Your brows furrow, "oh fuck, 2019 was five years ago wasn't it. God, time is an illusion. Anyway, you want what I was doing leading up to and through the pandemic?"

You think he might've startled for a second but he simply moved to scratch his chin, "mhmm. Just your thoughts on the last five years is all."

So… you ramble. Because he was nice and not prodding or asking weird questions. You talk to him about your job before the pandemic, how people thought covid was just a flu until the death tolls kept climbing, how tons of governments dropped the ball on a local or country-wide level and how that kicked back onto your life, and then the absolute crapshoot of the last election cycle, the shitty 'oh no this is the new normal everything is fine' behavior that has lead to surges and cycles of a fucking plague and so on. He simply nodded, gave some sympathetic hums and winces appropriately at your experiences.

"And did you go back and watch Star Wars through that? Or other things Disney owned?"

And, well, that was a weird way to phrase it but you shrugged, "the mouse is just shy of a monopoly and not one that anybody can take that down so… yeah, I guess? They kept putting shows out and expanding their Star Wars universe so that's been kinda neat to watch but not just them, no. Couple other games and stuff like that to keep me busy, too," you kinda handwave and shut up because panic rambling to MILITARY PERSONNEL is probably not your smartest move in hindsight. Especially when you don't know his name. A+, self.

You tap your fingers against the metal table as he looks at you, "and you said covid has a long term effect of ruining people's senses of smell and taste?"

You nod slowly, "yeah, dude? It's one of the biggest warning signs for most people? Like if everything starts tasting like it was made by a middle class white mom who keeps shoving random letters in her kids names you should swab? That kinda shit?"

What rock has this guy been living under? You were pretty sure the military were supposed to be way more familiar with this shit all things considered, but you've been wrong before.

It was his turn to give you a bit of a wide eyed look before he poorly covers a laugh, "alright, that's fair. I need to go talk with my captain," he hooks a thumb over his shoulder to the window, which didn't surprise you that there had been people back there. He offers a reassuring smile as he stands, humming idly as he pushes the chair back in. He pauses mid-step, "you mentioned that there were cards…?"

You find yourself nodding slowly, "yeah it was important and you couldn't fly or go to certain places if you didn't have one for a while. Should still have a picture of mine buried on my phone," you really didn't wanna get another first-round of covid shots, you REALLY didn't wanna repeat the 24 hours of suck for no reason.

"Cool, thanks," he flashes another charming grin before he slides out of the room.

You lean back in your chair, what an odd guy. Nice though.

-------

"Right," Gaz says as he opens the door to Price and Ghost, "either our mystery guest is off her nut or she's legitimately from somewhere and somewhen else."

Ghost and Price look at each other before turning back to Gaz, this… complicated matters.

Well, it's not like you hadn't given them information to identify yourself. They'd dig up who you were one way or another.

-------

You stare blankly as the nice man from before gives you a sympathetic look, "what do you mean I'm dead?"

Behind him is a guy you're not sure if he's just fuckoff huge or if he's just moderately huge and it's forced perspective.

You don't think it's forced perspective.

You are absolutely trying not to panic spiral.

You are absolutely doing a horrible job at that.

"Well," he opens the file before him and there's a news article, proudly proclaiming "Locals Die in Horrible Freak Accident" like that's not some form of you that was looking like some smear on the pavement, "there's this. Fingerprints match up. Can check for dental if you're really curious."

"Were there even any teeth left after that," you mumble as you take and read the offered article. Seven people were involved, the pictures used are mostly flattering. Hell, you almost don't mind what pic they used for an alternate you but… "that's certainly not the pic I would've wanted. Maybe this me had different tastes?"

You take the time to actually read through the article. It's not helping because for as much as you stare at the page you're not absorbing any information. Some form of detachment, if this was really you? You'd died. A different you but a you nonetheless. You died and you're reading how it happened. There was a lot to unpack in all this and you just needed to put the suitcase away for now. You'd much rather throw it away at this rate.

You were rapidly coming to the understanding that you and Toto were not in Kansas anymore, and there wasn't a convenient yellow brick road to get yourself back home. No easy way to get the hell out of Dodge either. Was it Dodge or the O.K. Corral that was in Kansas? No the O.K. Corral wasn't in Kansas- Dodge was though, that's right. 

This analogy was getting away from you and some part of you figured this was just your brain trying to protect yourself but… wait, wasn't this a metaphor? There wasn't 'like' or 'as' or goddammit not again.

You recognize some names here and there but largely everyone involved were perfect strangers. The article doesn't cover if it would've been slow or quick. You hope for the smear that it was quick. Smears like that don't happen slowly, right? Well, not unless it's like a dramatic slide down a window, but not usually across pavement like that.

Still not sure how you feel about all of it. Bit morbid being confronted with your mortality like that.

Certainly answered a lot of questions about your theoretical passing you never thought about. Like if the obituary for you in what you know to be your own home and world is just as… really kinda just mediocre as this. Have you really done nothing of note for an obituary? Damn.

You kept pouring over the article, each pass bringing new words into focus that help connect the picture a little bit, but… Something repeated in the article made you pause, "two alphas, four betas, and an omega?" 

There was no decent way to ask about that. Any questions invoked from here would border into dangerous territory better kept between yourself and a private browser history. You knew what you were about but there was no fucking way.

"Their designations," the nice man whose name you still hadn't caught explains, "mostly explaining their secondary gender."

You look at him owlishly. You pray to whatever God might be listening that you wake up shortly. Or that the earth below your feet opens up and swallows you. Whichever comes first, the mortification will snipe you otherwise.

"Please tell me this is an elaborate joke at my expense," you are very quiet as you are trying to get really cool with a lot of things really quickly.

"Negative," the big fucker in the back practically growled and you knew that voice would do things to you if you weren't half stepped out of your own body. 

You missed whatever his followup was but your brow furrowed when you checked the date on the article, "I've been dead for months? That…" you let the paper fall from your hands. Everything about this is wild at best and very overwhelming at worst. 

A lot of this qualified as worst.

You look up at the two, missing the odd look they shot at each other as you try to pull yourself back together, "so now what? You've got a not-a-smear of me that fell from the sky onto a secure military base, and where I'm from we didn't have," you paused to gesture between the paper and the two soldiers, "dynamics was it? That was just a fanfiction special."

"Fanfiction."

The way he said it was so carefully neutral you paused, "oh my god without Star Trek to popularize fanfiction and the fan community, how has fandom evolved? Is fanfiction a thing- well, yes, it does fanfics have been a thing since Dante Alighieri wrote the Divine Comedy and even before- well, the question is more if it's still popularized? Are there still the wattpad fics of- I am getting so off track. What exactly is the next step?"

You look from the nice man to the big fucker and back, neither saying anything but looking at you with careful blankness.

You felt like you were being weighed and measured in their eyes.

You hoped to anyone listening that you weren't found wanting at least. Not when you're in the shit situation it looks like you ever so increasingly fell into.

"Considering I'm. Not smear. And very much not from here? Are blanks a thing? Or is that what a beta is I'm," you trail off, brow furrowing, "fuzzy. On the whole thing. The flavor of understanding, dynamics, and population skew tended to be dependant on the author's level of horny."

The did get a bit of a snort from the pretty one before you, the one in the back tilting his head just so as the pretty one spurred you on, "okay please don't take this the wrong way, you have given me nothing to go on but A/B/O and-" a finger was raised in question to that, you quickly explaining, "the fanfic shorthand for the universe without being a mouthful. Anyway- I've seen population numbers being roughly the same across the board, I've seen alphas and omegas at roughly 1% of the population of society on either end, I've seen alphas at about 5% and omegas at 1%- those ones are usually the most horny I swear.

"And it's all over the board, no consistency- sometimes it's betas are infertile, sometimes they're the straightman to the comedy that's an alpha and omega trying to woo each other without being too horny to function. Sometimes it's a sliding scale where being beta just means you're more the more middle-ground regulated hormonally with alphas and omegas being the opposing ends of a spectrum. Can you please say something and give me a fucking break because my panic rambles are probably like. Some kinda prejudiced. I'm still not over the 'I'm supposed to be a smear on the ground we don't even have dental images of to confirm who it is anymore' nugget you dropped on me. I think I'm doing well for this"

You would rather not tell them that as soon as you're out of this box of a room you were gonna be curled up in a ball and unabashedly weeping. That was none of their business.

The pretty one gave you what you're sure was supposed to be a reassuring smile but the quiet stretched just a bit too long. You looked from one to the other before leaning forward, "is this supposed to be soothing in some way? Because it's just a bit of an extended awkward silence and that's uh-"

It was the big one in the back's turn to give an amused snort, the pretty one looking bashful, "right, sorry, we uh-"

You jerk a bit, "wait, was that supposed to be some scent thing," you really didn't wanna say pheromones and potentially dig yourself into a deeper, more awkward hole based on Horny Pseudoscience.

Pretty rubbed the back of his neck, "something like that. You really couldn't smell anything?"

You know the exact Face you're making. It's very much your 'I have told you this and I'm getting tired of having to repeat it' face. You can tell he clocks it but for the record, because to your mortification this has to be recorded, you simply give a succinct, "no, I haven't smelled anything. Not from you, not from him," you jerk your head towards the big fucker, "and not from douchebag from be- Williams! His name was Williams. Nothing. Really had no clue why you were fanning the door when you came in."

You sigh, rubbing the heels of your palms into your eyes, "okay. Assuming I'm not about to be put into past tense a second time. Do we have any idea what popped me out here?"

The sentences are stilted, you know you're getting more rattled the longer you're here but sue you alright it's been the worst six hours of your life here.

They just continue to look at you, pretty keeping a polite almost customer service look as big one just stares unceasingly.

"Right. Okay. Am I going to be reintegrated to society or is this," you gesture around the little room as much as you can, "looking like my home for the foreseeable future."

No change in what you can see of either's expression, and you just sag. Deep breath in, deep breath out, "cool. Alright. Well. I know nothing of how biology is altered here, I'm not sure how that has impacted changes throughout history, and frankly I don't know what your pop culture has done. I'm assuming math and written languages are largely the same but in all fairness I don't know what I don't know."

You just stare quietly at the table for a bit longer before looking back at the two of them, "is there anything else you need because I can feel the freakout creeping up and while I know there's no real privacy, uh…"

The pretty one looked back to the big one, at some point you're sure you'll get some sort of names but for now? Now you watch the big one nod, the pretty one give you a polite smile and some vaguely polite bullshit your brain is swiftly going too far out to hear.

You only hope that whoever is behind the mirror is polite enough to look away as you put your head down on the table and give yourself the opportunity to, just this once, cry. As a treat.

[Next Chapter -> ]

[tossawary]

I still think that the ending of "Avatar: The Last Airbender" was poorly foreshadowed, specifically the lion turtles and the energy-bending. (Not Aang not killing Ozai! I like that part! It suits the themes, it suits the characters! That part is fine. I am glad that the last airbender found a way forward that respected his people and beliefs.)

Like, I saw ATLA when it was originally airing and I thought these things kind of "came out of nowhere" at the time. I have heard the arguments to the contrary over the years and I have never really been persuaded by them, while at the same time personally agreeing that the lion turtles and the energy-bending absolutely do fit the world and lore! They are fitting elements! They work! I like this ending at the same time that, in my personal opinion, I think it was poorly established.

I think that the story BEGINS to establish lion turtles and energy-bending well enough. We meet both many other spirit beings and bending-capable animals earlier on, including the Moon and Ocean Spirits who apparently gave the world water-bending. S2 introduces Ty Lee's chi-blocking techniques and Guru Pathik teaching Aang about chakras. There are also a handful of lion turtle easter eggs in the background of some episodes, the most prominent perhaps being on a scroll in Wan Shi Tong's library.

But the story then jumps from these various establishing elements all the way to "lion turtles are real and not extinct and telepathic and can also energy-bend and Aang has suddenly mastered this new art well enough to take someone else's bending away permanently, and these relatively new elements are going to resolve the main conflict of the show". It feels like "1+1=3" to me. I think that last jump in the story is too big. Like, we're REALLY close, but I personally needed another 1 in there somewhere to bridge that final gap and get to that 3.

(Includes some fic ideas / suggestions on how to maybe add to strengthen the foreshadowing under the cut.)

The fact that a lot of people, especially more casual viewers, were really confused by the way all of these elements suddenly came together at the end says to me that, no, the foreshadowing that WAS done (there WAS foreshadowing, I cannot rightfully say that it all came completely out of "nowhere", but it) was not good enough. Or maybe I should compare it to someone presenting me with all of the necessary ingredients for a cake and then telling me that it IS cake? Yes, all of the right ingredients are HERE, I agree, this COULD be a really great cake, but... you still have to mix it all together in a bowl and then put it in the oven to bake to get that specific cake. It's not quite cooked yet.

(Okay, wow, that sounds kind of mean. Maybe I should compare it more to a missing stair? We have MOST of the staircase, I just need one last step to get to the Deus Ex Machina at the top. To be clear: I don't think a "Deus Ex Machina" is inherently bad. I often like them a lot. I just wanted a little more foreshadowing than the stuff that is already there.)

In storytelling, there's this technique casually called "The Rule of Three". (And yes, of course, rules were made to be bent or broken depending on what story you're trying to tell, but usually, these rules exist because they are effective.) This rule is also sometimes known as "Introduction, Pattern, and Payoff". (It has other names, but that's how I remember it.)

Very loosely, this rule states that an important element of the story must appear at least three times. 1. It must be introduced / established in the world. 2. It must appear again to remind the audience that it exists / and establish a pattern such that the audience begins to expect it to appear again later. (And is hopefully excited for it.) 3. Payoff. The element returns in an important way, probably to resolve part of the plot. The previous two appearances have acted as foreshadowing for this ending.

There's also a "Rule of Two" version of this general storytelling technique. Like, "If this special crystal can zap the bad guy and save the day, we have to have shown or at least told the audience that it can do that BEFORE the big final fight scene."

In regards to ATLA, no, I don't think that a scroll in a library or a statue in the background of some scene served as adequate introduction and reminder for the existence of lion turtles, so it didn't necessarily feel like a payoff for me that they solved the main conflict. (It's the "solved the main conflict" that's most of the issue for me. If the lion turtles had just appeared in another episode as a random cool thing like those sea monsters by Kyoshi Island, I would not have cared.)

I actually think that the establishment of other spirits like the Moon Spirit and bending-capable animals like sky bison and dragons can serve as a decent enough "Step 1) Introduction". Though this does not establish that lion turtles specifically exist, we have established that powerful creatures similar to lion turtles exist. But I still needed a solid "Step 2) Pattern / Reminder" that would have established that lion turtles specifically exist and are important BEFORE one shows up at the end like that.

I think that there's at least one episode somewhere in Book 1 or Book 2 that could have been cut in favor of an episode where the Gaang meets and rescues a young lion turtle baby or something.

Maybe Guru Pathik could have learned his ways FROM a lion turtle? Aang could have gone to an isolated village somewhere (with more brown people besides just Guru Pathik?) where people are living in harmony with a lion turtle, or maybe even on the back of a lion turtle! That would be cool!

Concept: Aang encounters Guru Pathik living alone on the back of a lion turtle which doesn't talk to people anymore (Aang swims down to look at its face and it doesn't even look at him), because its kind have been hunted nearly to extinction and it's tired of violence. Guru Pathik learned his ways from his old teacher, who learned from his old teacher, all the way up the teaching lineage from a person who once learned from the lion turtle itself before it gave up on the world. Guru Pathik tends to this nearly empty temple on the back of a silent lion turtle who ignores him, because he will not forsake his teachings even when the world seems uninterested in hearing them and the old lion turtle seems like it could die any day now. The people in the fishing village on the shore think that Guru Pathik is crazy and most of them don't even believe that the floating island really is a lion turtle, it's just weird geography.

Guru Pathik could also have chi-blocking abilities! We could see him demonstrate them in self-defense! He could teach a few chi-blocking moves to Aang, who could later go on to use them occasionally in Book 3, and it would have been really cool to see Aang exploring non-bending skills. We don't need Guru Pathik to explicitly name energy-bending here, but I would like to connect him just a touch more strongly to chi-blocking. Like, he IS connected already by helping Aang clear chakras, which is kind of like a reverse of chi-blocking, but it would be nice to establish Guru Pathik as somewhat capable of the opposite but perhaps not liking to use the skill.

Aang really vibes with this dying culture of pacifists, but he still has to leave Guru Pathik before he can finish the training. Later on, he can encounter Guru Pathik and the silent lion turtle again, and he can confess to them how desperately he doesn't want to have to kill anyone, no matter what his past lives say. He just wants to STOP the violence and restore balance to the world without sacrificing himself. And THEN the lion turtle could wake up and gift him with energy-bending.

Or something like that! The foreshadowing doesn't have to be THAT heavy-handed, but SOME brief appearance by an actual lion turtle would have served as a better "Step 2) Pattern" to me.

Things like chi-blocking, chakras, water-bending healing, water-benders losing their bending when the Moon Spirit was killed, and even Zuko's spiritual turmoil serve as a good "Step 1) Introduction" to the concept of energy-bending to me. The ingredients are THERE. But again, I would have liked some clearer "Step 2) Pattern" that had actually baked the cake in regards to this being a skill Aang had specifically.

The above episode concept with Guru Pathik on the back of a lion turtle could have worked as a "Step 2) Pattern / Reminder" for energy-bending.

ANOTHER option would be to have Aang temporarily lose his bending at the beginning of Book 3, after Katara resurrects him with that special spirit water after Azula killed him at the end of Book 2.

I think Aang losing his bending for at least 3-4 episodes would have been really good for him / the show. So much of Aang's identity is tied up at this point in being the Avatar and the responsibilities of being the Avatar. Losing his bending, especially his AIR-BENDING, and his connection to the spirit world and his past lives would send him into a personal crisis. The Gaang could worry over whether or not a new Avatar has somehow been born or if the Avatar powers are gone forever. The characters could confront the fact that perhaps they've been relying too much on Aang as the Avatar and what they'll do now without the Avatar.

Also, it would be really funny if Aang woke up and picked up his glider to jump off that boat, then just fell into the ocean, and Katara needed to fish him out. (Which would then transition into the dramatic revelation that he has lost his bending!!!)

Katara could use her healing abilities to tell Aang that what's happened to him feels a lot like Ty Lee's chi-blocking. Katara would then probably try to emphasize with Aang, who gets angry with her and says she has no idea what this feels like! Katara could then have a really good intimate scene with Aang over how scary it was when the Moon Spirit was killed, what it physically felt like to lose that spiritual connection, and how scared she was even afterwards about what it would have been like to permanently lose that connection to her people and her culture. Aang then apologizes to Katara and they resolve to find his bending again.

Aang then goes on some spiritual journey with his friends to reconnect with his bending and his past lives as the Avatar. Probably some partially internal spiritual journey with Guru Pathik's teachings. Katara and Toph could both talk about what bending means to them personally as different people, and also what it feels like to them as they interact with the elements of the world around them.

Aang could have some cool fight scenes where he dodges some random thugs using all of his bending skills (martial arts) without the actual bending, air-bending techniques, water-bending techniques, and earth-bending techniques, and then finally some chi-blocking techniques that Guru Pathik showed him. There could be some scene where Aang saves a kid from these random thugs and realizes that he can still do good in the world even if he's not the Avatar! Even if he's not a bender anymore!

There could also be some REALLY funny scenes of Aang trying to get Appa and Momo to teach him how to reconnect with his air-bending. Aang mimicking their movements and so on. (Sokka: "Is that... working so far, buddy?" Aang: "NO! They're terrible teachers!!!" Cue sad Appa bleating and offended Momo chittering.)

You could even do it in a cycle of sorts, where Aang reconnects with his air-bending first using Guru Pathik's teachings and his friends' help. (He is OVERJOYED.) And then Aang slowly regains water-bending and earth-bending over the next few episodes, culminating in him having to face his fears learning fire-bending again. I think you could accomplish this storyline by squeezing it into about 3-4 episodes, or else starting off with losing then regaining air-bending plus the Avatar state in the first 2 episodes of the season and then threading relearning the other elements in the background through later episodes.

ANOTHER option where Aang temporarily loses his bending is after the eclipse, because he has a spiritual crisis over the fact that he was resolved to kill someone and he really doesn't want to do that. I don't like this option so much because it feels a little too late in the season compared to kicking off Book 3 with the drama of Aang losing his bending(!!!), but it's an option.

See, if Aang temporarily loses his bending and has to find it again somehow, then the show could establish what this kind "energy-bending" and spiritual manipulation within a person looks like. If Aang has had to get his bending BACK, then it would better establish Aang then using this ability he has now practiced on himself to take bending away from another person. It's a pleasantly surprising twist that Aang figures out how to reverse a previously established energy-bending technique and successfully uses it against Ozai.

And then the ending, though arguably still in the realm of a Deus Ex Machina (which is cool), would feel more like "Step 3) Payoff" instead of "What just happened?" We needed to see more obviously that Aang was capable of ANY kind of energy-bending before it saved the day like that.

Anyway! This post became way longer than originally intended! I hope this has made it clear that I like both the lion turtles and energy-bending as concepts. I think there are many elements in the show that begin to introduce lion turtles and energy-bending as Aang uses it as things that COULD exist. I just think that the show needed some kind of additional baking step in the middle to establish a pattern and use those ingredients to foreshadow that specific "an ancient lion turtle teaches Aang energy-bending and Aang then uses it against someone else" ending.

[donutwatches]

MHA 3.3 - Kota - part 1/3

This is a watch-a-long blog, so no spoilers past this episode please!

Didn't he already do that last season? Did I imagine that? I love that his training is creating the perfect bath temperature.

Apparently Midoriya's training is getting beaten up by a furry. I wonder what he is going to tell his Mom when she asked him what he got up to at summer camp? "Well...there were these park rangers dressed as cats".

What would class 1A do without Iida keeping it together 24/7? Everyone is dead on their feet, but Iida is like "Look alive people, we're about to make the greatest curry of all time".

HIS TINY SMILE. This was a small detail, but it was so moving. Just lighting a fire for cookin and making his classmates smile made him happy. In seasons 1&2 he was so shut off socially.

He is finding out that the part of his quirk that he rejected and hated for so long can help people, and that he can use it in a positive way.

Momo's power comes from food! She can make weapons from her body by eating cake, what a dream.

"It's like poo". Sero, noooooo! Why did he have to make it gross? lol

There is a full doozy essay incoming. I went ham. So don't click 'keep reading' unless you actually want to keep READING.

What Kota says in this episode got me spiraling into essay territory. Kota's point of view has helped a lot of MHA's themes click into place for me, but these thoughts have been brewing for me since season 1.

Categorizing people and placing labels on them can lead to dehumanization. The 'villain' label makes people who commit crimes less than human, and the 'hero' label elevates people into being more than human. Either way, dehumanizing people has consequences, and in Kota's perspective, it got his parents killed.

Someone labeled as a 'villain' can think, well I'm already called a villain, I might as well act that way. Someone labelled as a 'hero' is pressured to live up to being put on a pedestal, and that can lead to failure, or hypocrisy (like Endeavor's outside hero image conflicting with behind closed doors abuse).

The villains versus heroes narrative feeds a cycle where they are in perpetual competition with each other to negative results for the community. As if crime and justice are the same as competing sports teams, like red team vs blue team. This leads to what Kota says, "they're all showing off", and end up "killing each other".

I have had jobs where I worked with kids, and I saw social labeling play out. Some kids got labeled as 'trouble makers'. The kids saw that they got attention for challenging behavior, and it got worse. I have heard a kid state "I'm a bad kid" outright, and they internalized that as part of their identity. It is hard to undo the damage.

It reminds me of Shinso from last season, as an example of a teen being labeled a villain by his peers. He fought hard to reject being put in that category, but many real life teens don't escape the labeling.

There are also kids that get singled out as 'golden children'. These kids feel pressured to be perfect, and can struggle with their flawed human identity not matching their 'golden' reputation.

Bakugo is an example of an over-praised kid that develops a superiority complex. He is insecure about not being the best, because he was categorized as 'the best' at age five. I think 'troublemaker' versus 'golden child' is a small scale version of the 'villain' versus 'hero' in MHA.

These categories lead us to making blanket assumptions about individuals who fit the right image. All might is the symbol of peace, so he must be perfect, right? But the show reveals that All Might, while he is a good man, is a flawed human being. We see him struggling to upkeep the shiny symbol he has created, at the cost of his health and social life.

I wonder if MHA is going to explore a villain that could have been a good citizen, but got trapped by how society has cornered them into a 'villain' labeled box? I think this might be the major theme of the entire story. I've cracked it, I can stop here, I don't even need to watch anymore episodes, bye! ;p

"My friend", ok Deku, you're not fooling anyone.

The starry night backgrounds in this scene are beautiful!

This montage of Midoriya trying to force a quirk to happen almost killed me.

It takes me back to the 1st episode where Deku's opening line is "we are not all created equal", and the episode shows us both him and Bakugo being put into opposite social boxes based on their quirks.

Deku was labeled bad/useless because he was quirkless, and this flashback underlines how much it hurt him, but he was saved by how strongly he held to his ideals of heroism. That is the positive flip side of the 'hero' label. It gave Deku something to look up to and live for.

Kota isn't ready to accept that rejecting the realities of hero society is going to be more painful in the long run. He is too little, and trying to process so much grief, it breaks my heart.

What also breaks my heart, is that Deku is speaking from experience. He has lived quirkless in a hero society, and rejecting the reality of his quirkless-ness back then caused him a lot of hurt too.

This is such a great exchange. MHA doesn't do a lot of quieter character building moments, but this talk between Kota and Deku was so good.

Part 2 is here

Masterlist

TAGLIST

@jessiedead @blackaquokat @granny-griffin @champion-prism @bicheetopuff @setfiretotheshadows @hyperfixations-and-cringe

[campbenji]

*JWCT SPOILERS* very messy first thoughts

OH BOY here we go

-ben and darius's dynamic was epic. the hug. the roadtrip scenes. "is your friend okay?" "no 😊". ben getting darius out of his isolation cabin and darius grounding him in ep2. the parallels with s3ep7. "you kiss your mother with that mouth?" i'm gonna be thinking about that scene for days. their ship is still a swim to me but please they better keep whatever the fuck they have going on in s2 because it's fucking wonderful

-i love that they took the chance to give more light to duos we didn't see much in jwcc. teamups we didn't often see like ben and sammy, THE B-DUO, and darius and sammy got very special moments here

-the amount of pictures/videos from the six years in between??? the brooklynn flashbacks??? we were so well fed

-BRAND!!!!!! i got so happy when i heard him the first episode, he's clearly been checking on his brother and i'm glad he's ok

-bowman family FEAST. brand and darius talking over the phone. the pictures on the cabin. kenji saying he calls mrs. bowman once a week and all the nice things he said about her. the whole mess between kenji and darius. "we're brothers, right?" i died dead. i love this family your honor

-sammy. she's got so much going on and we desperately need to talk about it. i'm so worried about her, she's desperately trying to avoid confronting what happened with brooklynn, with yaz and her own trauma, and then they casually dropped on us that her family isn't speaking to her and never elaborated on that?? sammy, who's love and care for her family was her biggest motivation in jwcc?? i need to know what happened because it must've been big

-mateo!! i liked him a lot, he definitely doesn't want to get into any of this mess but still dabbles around a bit to help the kids, which i respect. also i hope we get to meet his daughter hiraya, she sounds really cool

-MS MICROBANGS (or the handler, or whatever name we're calling her). what is her deal. who is she working for. she's so uncanny, literally almost robotic i need to know more about her

-brookenji over i cheered. don't take this personally i've never been a fan of this ship and a part of me knew they weren't going to last long

-the animation increased in quality so much. the scene after ben, yaz and sammy get out of the sinking van is so well done it's so pretty to look at. and the t-rex with the explosion behind her? it reminds me so much of toro in the tunnels in s1ep8, and i haven't tested this out but i feel like if you put them one next to the other the improvement would be so noticeable.

-also related to the point above: that thing when a character's eyes start filling up with tears but they don't cry just yet? 10/10. chef's fucking kiss

-sure jwct has the same tv-y7 rating as jwcc, but from minute 1 it's obvious it's not the same audience they're talking to. it's not a big change in tone, like for example adventure time/distant lands/fionna and cake, but it's there, you can tell they know it's not little kids watching anymore

-BUMPY IS HAVING A BABY BUMPY IS A MOM NOW they had me shit scared for her and then they pulled a freaking egg my heart was literally pounding. anyways i hope they get both bumpy and the egg somewhere safe and that they name the new anky "speckles" (i've gotten so attached to that name in the last 24 hours it's insane)

-YASAMMY THE QUEENS THAT YOU ARE. their relationship was stellar this season, i was scared when i saw that they were apart but their issues felt organic to their relationship and i just love how they were written in the show, they are still so in love with each other and i can't wait to see where they go next season. they're everything to me

-yeah they were apart for half the season but. benji crumbs. the egg cradle scene. kenji helping ben after he got hit with the stun gun. basically all they did was act like they knew each other but idc. we are so back.

-the brooklynn reveal was... meh?? it could've been more rewarding if they waited until s2 to reveal she's still alive, but at least i hope they take their time before reuniting her with the rest of the camp fam. also i can't believe ppl even guessed what arm she was going to lose y'all have prophetic powers or smth

-bringing daniel back to kill him the same episode was an insane move btw. i would've normally complained but it's all worth it for causing the panic attack scene in ep7. kenji's reaction felt so genuine, i'm forever in awe at how well this show writes grief and trauma

-i'm so conflicted about darius's confession. i like dinostar, but i feel like it wasn't needed for darius to be in love with brooklynn to explain the voicemails and the way he was dealing with her death. she was one of his closest friends, his grief made sense even with them being platonic. on the other hand, i love how he admitted it to kenji and the fact they didn't turn it into a huge fight between them; also, "i didn't know i could even feel that way" aroace/acespec darius truthers never lose

-maybe it's just that i need to rewatch, but i'm lost as to where they're going next season?? i know they're getting on a boat but where does that go?? what are they trying to do?? there's so much happening my head is spinning

-ben... he kind of felt like the comic relief for most of the show, the first episodes showed him as being really paranoid again and struggling with being alone, but halfway through the season they just sort of forgot about it?? idk something was off

-bring back kenji's old latin spanish va idk who this guy is but that is not kenji i can't do this. i'll survive the loss of ryan potter but i won't survive this

anyways yeah i think those are most of my uncooked thoughts, overall i really liked the season, i can't believe we got to see the kids again this is still so unreal to me

[slyscoutess]

BLOUKOUT || FORMULA 1

I think we're all chronically online enough here to know what's going on, and rightly so, on TikTok right now, but don't worry, if for some reason you've been in a cave the last few days and haven't heard , let me explain everything with such precision.

In recent days, the Met Gala 2024 was unveiled, and with it celebrities from all lists came together with a single cause, to put themselves in the spotlight with exaggerated clothes and a ticket more expensive than yours and my life. Among these was the influencer hayleyybaylee, an American influencer who thought it would be wise to record, edit and publish a video with her exaggerated clothes, heading to a dance that only the elite within the biggest elites have the right to go to, in the audio of the video? a line that is certainly historically excruciating.

while Rafah, the only theoretically safe place, or at least that was what had been promised to the Palestinian people, was being completely bombed, Hayley was publishing a video with the audio of Marie Antoinette: “let them eat cake”. If you, like me, are a history lover, you know well the episode in history that the French people lived from then on.

With the memory of this audio, we reclaim our power as the people in control, we gave these people the platform and from these people we can take the platform away at any time we want. If the government and the rich are not giving their time to those in need, we will need to force their gaze in the direction we want.

Here we have a term: the people for the people.

because it's literally all we have.

with that, we brought our guillotines outside and decided to take from them what they don't know how to use; their voices and their platforms. blokout2024 is a line that anyone can participate in, the best way to help is to share lists and that includes your own, but it was bothering me how there were names that never appeared there, the formula 1 drivers.

These playboys who spend the year doing Vrom Vrom don't pay attention to anything that doesn't affect them and this was seen with the whole Christian Horner harassment case and some of the reactions to this case. It's time to demand some responsibility from them, they are not babies, they are not children, they are men who are always ready to defend harassers and say that they respect racists and criminals.

“but love, boys can't talk about it” Sir Lewis Hamilton, as always and once again, proved that they can. the man continues to publish links and news about Palestine, and this is not recently, and we know that when Lewis makes donations, he is not in the habit of taking a stand on them, just as he recently did for the Brazilian people with the case of Rio Grande do Sul, the other pilots and their partners just don't care. not to mention the teams and their bosses. This even affects the Formula 1 Academy, with Charlotte Tilbury as a sponsor and frequently in the paddock, for those who don't know, Charlotte recently fired Bella Hadid, a Palestinian woman, for protesting and continuing to speak about the country of her blood and family.

remembering that there are convinced Zionists within the paddock, such as Lance Stroll's girlfriend, sister and brother-in-law, the latter is also Daniel Ricciardo's best friend. Tell me who you hang out with and I'll tell you who you are.

I'm not here telling you to stop liking your favorites, I'm not here telling you to stop watching the races, I love some of these and it will hurt me to block them, but not as much as it hurts me to know that they close their eyes and remain quiet in all their luxury, I'm here saying that we need to demand a position from these men and women, we were the ones who gave them the platform, how many people in Palestine can be fans of these people who ignore their suffering on a daily basis? so keep writing fanfics, follow the gossip pages, but the officials need to take a stand

If even the swifties are doing it, why can't we do it?

Let’s Start Big:

BLOCK

FIRST HALF || SECOND HALF

HONORARY MENTION

LN4 |

LN Rancing Kart |

Lando JPG |

Lando Movie |

Quadrant |

Max Fewtrell |

Lec |

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Romain Grosjean |

Jenson Button |

Kimi Räikkönen |

Sebastian Vettel |

Mick Schumacher |

Magui Corceiro |

Ollie Bearman |

Liam Lawson |

James Vowles |

Bianca Bustamante |

Sky Sports F1 |

Zak Brown |

Christian Horner |

CS55 Racing |

Arrow McLaren |

1 paper cut doesn't really hurt, but 28 million paper cuts can kill you. Let's fucking hit the pentagon, only follow trought fan accounts.

We, the damned of the earth, have only each other. And that will be enough.

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

Who is White?

If it is not I, your friendly neighbourhood non-binary deranged literature major, once again to tell you about stuff that the voices™︎ have prompted me.

This time, let's talk about the elephant in the room, the odd one out: Mr. White, a.k.a the fandom's babyboy.

(me as Fluke in this GIF, walking in ready to dissect this bitch)

So, what do we factually know about this man?

From what we're directly told in the show:

He's Tee's boyfriend, at least, since 12th grade, meaning they have been together for about 3 years, maybe 4 (depending on when exactly we are in terms of time in the present and when exactly during 12th grade they started dating).

He's younger than the rest of them, according to Por and Top in episode 1.

He studied at a different school from the main gang AND from Phee (yes, despite the embroidery having a similar colour, the writings where the institution's name should be are nothing alike, thus, not from the same place)

He cares a lot about his appearance (he does skincare when Por is literally dying downstairs and he sees a rash on his body while under the effect of New's absynthe - idk if it's absynthe or not but my friends and I have been calling it that since we saw them drink the green drinks so it's absynthe for me and there's that).

He's generally a very respectful person (he always speaks formally and nicely to everyone, even when people are hostile to him, like Tee or Fluke).

His fear doesn't seem to paralyze him in high-pressure situations (he strikes people with a tripod twice to save himself and others when he thinks they're in danger).

Another source could be the Yearbook, which, now, we have to be a bit more skeptical about because, as seen in New's case, it's not 100% accurate. One can argue that it is accurate because the yearbook would have Tan's info, since that's who he's living as and no one knows any better than that, including the institutions and, sure, yeah, fair. But while we don't know that White is hiding anything from us as well, we can't be sure of it. So, take the following with a grain of salt:

(translated with Google Translate)

His legal name is Watcharin Siriphan

He was born on the 25th of February 2005 (which confirms what Por and Top say)

His blood type is A (which according to the Blood Type Personality Theory means he is shy, stubborn, a perfectionist, polite and hard-working, apparently. tbh this thing is super shifty, no source seems to agree on the meaning of each type and, of course, it's a pseudoscience and all, so... yeah. take it as you will)

He's studying Software Engineering

He likes cakes

He dislikes cockroaches

He plays games and programs in his free time

So... We don't know much. He's the most generic person ever. Like... I too, and half the world's population, like cake, dislike cockroaches and like to play games. It's not exactly very special. Which is exactly why he is so intriguing. After all, we had 5 whole episodes so far, which were just the backstory of the people we see together in the mansion in the present. We've seen their personalities, their qualities and flaws, what they did and what they didn't do. We've been given a reason as to why they're here. Not just in the more direct sense of "they agreed to come here for Jin's goodbye party" but of why exactly they needed to be put all together in these conditions for this story. All except White. White is just... Barely an afterthought. We're shown when he comes into this story for the group (when he becomes Tee's boyfriend), but we're not given a reason so far as to why the narrative wants him there.

Because, sure, IRL people sometimes end up in random places and things can be pretty meaningless but this is a work of fiction. One that, evidently, has been greatly focused on details (Non's framed apple picture and Phee eating an apple alone, for example, or the correlation between the group and the colour blue). So why would it just throw us a character that is, seemingly, irrelevant to the story?

And to this, there are 2 possibilities my friends: either White is a narrative tool to get to the audience or White is not who we think he is. So let's explore it, shall we?

White = Narrative Tool

Let's start by assuming, possibly the most likely outcome, that White is exactly just a guy who ended up there due to his connection to Tee. Why would this narrative need that character?

Glad you asked. Because he's the only person who's 100% innocent. If he's just some guy who, as we've seen, keeps being respectful and nice and trying to always do the right thing, then he's got nothing to do with the others who, in different degrees are all guilty of something. He's the odd one out.

Because, yes, this is not a show of villains (at least, not in which concerns the main characters). They're all morally grey. But they have some drop of black that makes them grey.

Por is arrogant and a liar and selfish.

Tee is aggressive and manipulative and a control freak.

Top is an overall asshole and a coward.

These 3 actively bully Non. Por steals his work. Tee and Top blame him for shit he didn't do which puts in the situation where he owns Por and they spy on him. Tee manipulates him into mafia money laundry and threatens him.

Fluke is selfish and refuses to take action even when he knows it's the right thing to do.

Jin's doesn't have the capability to realize that the peaceful passive way with which he normally carries himself with won't solve the issue. Plus he's overly emotional. And a bit selfish too.

They didn't help Non when it was their moral obligation to do so. And Jin records him being abused by their teacher and possibly posts it online (though that's still up for debate).

Phee is too stubborn and also overly emotional and even overly empathic.

New is obsessive and vengeful.

Phee never really helps Non because all the ways he offers Non help are the wrong ones. He almost tries to control him. And he fails. And then he tells him awful things and breaks up with him in a terribly vulnerable moment for Non. And even when he regrets it and tries to bring justice to him, he fucks Jin because he wanted to and tries to cover it up as if it was part of the plan. Sure, they were broken up, technically, but Phee himself seems to have had "take-backies" over that breaking up. So, in his mind, at least, it's fair to say he cheats on him, which is very hypocritical after how he reacts to Non being abused. And New... He tries to help sincerely because he feels guilty but he only makes things worse. Nothing is solved and their father curses them both before committing public suicide at their mom's funeral.

Non (which may be even more relevant if he's still alive) is overly independent and uncommunicative.

He doesn't tell Jin he has a boyfriend when it's clear Jin's trying to make a move on him, event though Non's not interested. He hides very important things from Phee. He commits fraud (understandably, but yeah). And yeah, he's justified in his rage and attack but... Does he ever think of how his actions affect other such as Jin, for example, who, in his eyes, is innocent? Not really.

"Oh but White won't die!", I hear you say. "The innocent people never die in slashers!! Only the people who did the killer wrong do!" And that's exactly where I have to disagree.

So, amidst a sea of grey characters, White is, funnily enough: white. He's just good. He's done nothing wrong. And the narrative needs him because, when the others die, we'll feel (to different degrees, sure, but still, we will) that there's a reason. Even if we like the characters, those deaths will make sense. But what happens when an innocent man dies? What happens when you kill the man who wasn't even supposed to be there (he joined the trip at the last minute)?

As @syrena-del-mar says in this post: "DFF is more than just a 90s slasher film imitation". It "sits at a novel intersection of genre: horror slasher on the one hand and BL on the other hand" as @brifrischu puts it here and, for that, it bends expectations and rules and subverts what are natural tropes and events of the slasher archetype. White dying is the sort of thing this narrative, and our inventive genius Sammon, would do. Because... Do you really think they're giving us grey characters instead of black ones because we're supposed not to question this revenge? Because we're supposed to be happy about this? No. Of course not. That would be dumb. If we're meant to 100% side with the killer, then why give us likeable characters as the targets? Because, and this is as much speculation as it is reading the room, we're not.

This story, I don't know how it will end, but regardless I'm pretty confident it's supposed to tell us something important about cycles of violence: that they're neverending until someone chooses peace instead. That aggression and bloodshed and revenge... They won't bring time back, they won't undo the mistakes we make, they won't restore that which is lost, they won't make the grief go away... That they won't make us feel better. More even: that they will only hurt more people, create more injustice and prompt more revenge. And, thus, perpetuate the cycle.

So what's White's role? Being the final drop into our collective cup of realization (and perhaps the characters' as well) that this revenge mission is pointless and won't solve anything. White's role is to die.

"Oh, but uncle Dang was also innocent! Is his death not enough??", I hear you ask. And well... Maybe, maybe not. I think, honestly, his death is too impersonal for us to feel too deeply about it. Like, sure, yes, it is the death of an innocent, but it's a distant innocent. It doesn't make our blood boil because we don't know shit about that man. But, for all we don't know of White's past, we've seen him cry, we've seen him scared, we've seen him fight for his life, we've seen him be a good boyfriend and a good friend. He might just be some dude but we like him. He's the fandom's babyboy, as I said. It is more impactful and it tells the story better.

But this is just a hypothesis. And it might not convince you. And that's fair. So, because I'm a persistent obnoxious fucker with a little too much free time, I'm bringing you a second theory. For this one, though... You might need a little tinfoil hat... Be prepared.

White ≠ Who He Says He Is

So, if you think just having a character be hollow and pure good in a show of very fleshed-out and grey characters is weird, even if he might be narratively relevant, then we can only assume there's something important to White's character we don't know about yet. (I'm adding this in retrospective because I forgot but this idea came to me partially from @yellingaboutkp and their great analysis of horns in the show that you can find here)

But what could that be? We've seemingly seen all the flashbacks we needed from everyone, White doesn't seem very relevant to anyone's storyline but Tee's but... We'd assume if there was something directly connected to Tee's actions and White that we needed to see, we would've. Admittedly, the next episode seems to be on its way to tell us what Tee knows about what happened to Non and Keng while they were captured by the mafia and he could be there but I think, honestly, that it goes deeper than that. And here's why: because there's a person who's even more of an odd one out then White: whoever Perth's character is.

Now, he would've been completely unsuspicious if it wasn't for one thing: Perth's presence in the promotion of this series. He's just... Always there, somehow? Like, his character has only really appeared last episode massaging Tee's uncle but he's constantly talking about this series. Plus, his name is very well credited. AND, the absolute cherry on top, his character appears in THIS poster:

Now, yeah, I understand Marketing and Publicity (it's part of my Master's, you don't have to explain it to me). So, I know this could very well just be a strategy to sell the series. After all, Perth did get a lot of attention after The Hidden Character, I know, I know. It's also a way to put his name out there for other future roles, kinda like a soft launch. Plus, this is the show that killed Us's character first when he was one of the most popular actors in the cast. HOWEVER, I'd argue that, considering the previously mentioned attention to detail, they would not have given one of their rising stars a role in this series if it wasn't important. Like... No other background character without lines (so far) was given an important actor to play it. So pardon me, but I don't buy it. Perth's character's gotta matter somehow. And, back to what I was saying, I think the next episode will be exactly where.

See, I made a poll here on the hellsite asking what y'all think happened to Non. It's this one. And it shows that, overwhelmingly, we all think Non is alive BECAUSE he was helped by the man himself:

"Okay, Dante, but, even if that's true, where does White fit in all this?" Glad. You. Asked.

Now, if we're assuming Perth's character's the one that's gonna help Non (and possibly Keng or maybe not, idk and it really doesn't matter for now), we've gotta assume he's a possible suspect for the murderer. And even more so under this optic that Non is alive. Who more than a person whose whole reality seemed to be the mafia and who might've escaped it would be okay with murdering people? Right? Or, on the contrary, that he took a liking to Non and is trying to prevent him from further digging himself a hole in life and is trying to save him from himself.

You see, I didn't watch The Hidden Character (and those who did apparently recommend it stays that way). I didn't know any of these people before except those who were in Kinnporsche. And you know what that led me to? Curiously enough, dear reader: confusing Fuaiz with Perth. So, yeah, you know where this is going... White and Perth's character might be related. Brothers, probably.

"All because you think they look alike?" Well, if you ignore the way I just explained how it would tie some very loose ends... Yeah, kinda. BUT, in my defence, it makes a lot of genetic sense.

See, no other characters in the show really look this much alike. Believe me, I tested it.

For this purpose, I tried many different sites but the one that seemed to give me the most reliable results was FaceShape. Most characters got no more than 10%, some even got 0% (e.g. New and Perth's Character). And you wanna know how much White and Perth's character got? Nearly 50%.

For comparison reasons, New and Non who are CANONICALLY brothers, got about 30%.

BUT, if this is not convincing enough, my sister and I (who share EXACTLY the same 2 parents) got lower than them.

(pls ignore the picture, I was trynna make it as accurate as possible so I took a front pic with a neutral expression. also, my sister is censored for privacy reasons)

Now... Will I claim this is irrefutable proof? No. Not at all, but think about it: if White and Perth are related that might maybe explain how Tee and White met. It might also explain that really weird scene in the pre-release trailer (albeit all scenes in that are rather odd) where White-

Yes, thank you, Obi-Wan. And Anakin Tee is looking up at him, as if White has more power than Tee does. Because then, it could probably mean that White knows something and is probably there to do something. What exactly? Idk, man. He could be there to ensure the group remains clueless/confused or that they remain where they need to be for things to work... Or he could be there to try and prevent stuff from happening much to the likeness of what I stated for Perth's character's case.

"Oh, but if he knows something, wouldn't he know what happened to Non? Why would he be curious to watch the recording??"

Well, not necessarily. We know Non is not communicative and that he doesn't typically share his problems with anyone (the exception being Keng, obviously, but then again, the exception confirms the rule). And sure, Keng might be more talkative but idk if he would say something if Non asked him not to. I have a feeling he probably wouldn't (since he has that weird thing JJ mentioned about how he "loves Non" and, therefore, even if he's an abuser, he doesn't perceive himself that way and wouldn't do something he actively thinks would hurt Non). So, while Perth's character would know what happened to Non while he was being held by Tee's uncle and even some things about why he is there, he probably wouldn't know the rest.

But then why would he date Tee? Well, this is a narrative so... Foils are something that can happen. Having White and his relationship with Tee be a parallel to that of Phee and Jin is not weird and, in fact, has happened in the very first episode when both couples arrive at the room where the singles are, in pairs. Therefore, it wouldn't be weird to think of White as someone who maybe also fell in love with the guy that was supposed to be a means to an end or, alternatively, and perhaps more interestingly, have White NOT be in love with him and actually succeed, unlike Phee. Thus, drawing the comparison that, while Tee and White are in a relationship, White didn't fall in love and, inversely, while Phee and Jin aren't in a relationship, Phee did fall in love.

And this would mean that all we've seen of White's fear might, in fact, be an act to throw suspicion off of him. Or even more justified because he knows exactly what's lurking in the woods... After all, why would he suddenly join Jin's goodbye party if he's not a friend of Jin's? What reason better than to tag along your boyfriend's getaway with his friends if not to protect him from the terrible consequences of his actions?

But I get it. It's an extremely convoluted theory and, in all honesty, maybe makes the show more dull and boring if it's true because... Why would they repeat this "secret brother" twist? Or the dating with second intentions trope? It could be a narrative parallel, yes, but I can also definitely see how people could point that out as uncreative or lazy writing.

Either way: these thoughts were circling around my head and, before the next episode confirms or destroys them, I wanted to get them out into the world for y'all to, maybe, hopefully, join in on the hype for it, as it's less than 24h 'till it airs. Hope in that I was successful, at the very least.

Anyway... As usual feel free to (politely) argue with me, tell me I'm wrong, tell me I missed this and that, add to it, etc... Because if there's one thing I currently love more than DFF itself, it's definitely the fandom and I want us to make the most of it!!

I'll see y'all tomorrow when we're freaking out about episode 10!!!

All the love! 💜💜💜

[punkascas]

okay, so i don't want to, like, Start Something or whatever so we're doing a barely-tagged, separate post. i also realise this is mostly pointless because others have already said what i'm going to say, and did it better, with far more grace, and sound less like an asshole than i do.

but jesus louise helen christ, the weird fucked up ideas people have around abuse and personal responsibility and the effect of trauma. like as an abuse and csa survivor, it genuinely alarms me to read posts that use arguments i remember my dad making. like, i'm assuming most of this rhetoric comes from gen z — maybe that's inaccurate; maybe that's unfair. but right now i'm very much Having A Moment Here that the kids aren't alright.

no 22-year-old should be repeating the same awful, manipulative, logically and morally bankrupt justifications for violence and torture my dad says. like literally what's in the first two episodes of ofmd s2 is torture.

i love ed; he's an amazing character. taika is hella wowza top marks acting him. but like.

like.

torture, my dude. physical and psychological. trauma. harassment. that we see the lasting effects of through s2.

just. i. what??

so here we go, okay. have too many, zealously highlighted screenshots so i can dig into details.

cut to save your dashes. content warning for discussions of abuse and trauma (if that wasn't obvious), as well as spoilers for ofmd s2.

re: ed knew what he was doing was wrong and felt guilty about it at the time:

we have no on-screen, textual examples of this. not in the dialogue; not in the acting; not in the blocking; not in the cinematography or music. nothing.

knowing the crew are overworked and kind of traumatised by all the violence, ed bribes them with cake. because, as we know, cake like tea fixes everything. only ed wasn't even with them to share in the eating of the cake. he made izzy responsible for that. he doesn't give the crew a break; he doesn't choose less ethically-fraught prizes to hunt. there is not one scene of ed talking directly to the crew — until he points a gun at each of them.

we see ed crying (and drinking, and rhino horn-ing [way to help further extinction, man]) but it's always paired with shots or flashbacks that reference stede. ed is still all up in his feelings about stede, and ed confirms this when he tells frenchie the myth about albatrosses never needing to return to land. ed cannot go back, does not want to go back, because he was rejected. (like, stede is literally landed gentry, come on!) all he wants to do instead is stay at sea committing to this unhinged version of unstable, sadistic piracy.

but okay, okay. say we ignore all of that. let's say ed does feel sorry and guilty and ashamed of his actions. he knows what he's doing is wrong and unfair and cruel. that it's harming others. that it's particularly harming the dude that ed has, for better or worse, basically spent his life with (izzy; i mean izzy). ed… still continues to do the things! how far off are we at this point from the definition of malicious? you know action x hurts person b and then you do it anyway. is that honestly a better, happier, more ethically defensible reading of the character?

re: the crew didn't mutiny because they love ed despite his violent, sadistic actions.

mutinies were a thing, yes. but both historically and in the world rules established by the show, mutiny is disincentivised through threats, distraction via extra work, and corporeal punishment. we see both ed and izzy use all three of these to try to prevent the crew from disobeying orders. they didn't wait until the storm and izzy shooting ed to mutiny because they understood or sympathised with ed; they took the chance to kill him then because that was the first real opportunity they'd had. the reward finally out-weighed the risk given that ed was going to kill them all that night anyway.

again, we have no scenes, no dialogue, no visual or audio cues to tell us that the crew understands or loves ed — excluding izzy, obviously. fang could also be on that list, if you take into account his personality and his behaviour both in s1 and later in s2 in the fishing boat scene. but in the first two episodes, we only see the crew show trauma responses around ed. they talk about him but almost never to him. and when they do have a direct conversation with ed, it is either confrontation or head down, submissive, "of course, blackbeard; anything you say" placating. i'm so baffled where the show points to any sign of love from the crew towards ed before his "death".

re: ed can't be held responsible because he was suicidal.

uhm. no. hard no. a harder no than stede's brazilian cherry wood mast. fucked up people do fucked up things but part of being an adult is owning your fucked-upped-ness and not fucking up others while you work on unfucking yourself. children, children are not fully responsible for the impact of their actions on others when they're deep in their feelings, especially if they're feeling their feelings as a trauma response. this is because literally their brain cannot do that kind of control. it doesn't have that software pack installed yet. ed does have all the adult updates installed, even if he isn't running them at that moment. he has no right to take out his feelings on other people: to maim them, to psychologically torture them, to abuse them, to work them to exhaustion. to kill them. he does not get a free pass to do suicide by abused employees. (like suicide by cop but more indirect and passive and harmful.) talk about passive aggressive.

secondly, ed is not just passively suicidal and happy to find new risks that might end his life. he is very purposefully taking izzy with him (see: literally removing the bits of izzy that would help let him walk away from ed; the fact that ed becomes actively suicidal only once he thinks izzy is dead; the whole keeping izzy's corpse in front of his and stede's beach shack i mean inn — the codependence, she runs deep). ed is also putting the crew through the same risks, the same isolation, the same danger. both stede and izzy agreed that ed had gone full scorched earth policy. you don't get forgiven for the murder part of a murder-suicide pact just because of the suicide part. not to mention that no one (once again, you could potentially argue izzy as an exception) was good on a murder-suicide pact with blackbeard.

and then to say the crew felt guilty? i assume i'm misreading that. the crew. felt guilty. for ed's actions. that is, if not victim blaming and if not darvo, a very close inbred cousin of them. like hapsburg jaw inbred close.

re: ed healing and his view of himself as a monster.

to heal means, in part, to accept responsibility for the harm you've caused, whether it was intentional or not. it means making amends. it means building or rebuilding relationships where possible. it means putting the other person or persons' feelings and boundaries and need for safety above your desire for absolution or forgiveness. it means working through your own guilt and shame and anger (or whatever drove you to act the way you did) in a separate space, not with the people you hurt, but someone who can be a step removed, more impersonal and objective to help you reflect and face hard truths as needed. i say this as both someone involved in activism and community reparations and as an abuse survivor who has done nearly 30 years of therapy learning this in order to not hurt people. it's not ed's fault he's fucked up just like it isn't my fault i am. but it is on me, like it is on anyone, to make sure i limited as much as possible the harm i can cause to others because i learned some awful but very effective tricks at a young age to survive.

ed does not really do any of the above. he doesn't say "sorry". he speaks in generalised language. he complains about the cat bell (which he seems to wear only for one day, given the implied timeline with lucius and pete's engagement). i have a model ship on a stand that says "this is a safe space ship" as a joke because i work for the government and have written press releases that sound just like ed's "apology". where you take no responsibility and encourage "the culture" to move on.

so, really, my question becomes: ed sees himself as a monster. in s1, we had enough balance between ed's current actions and his referenced past actions to see this belief as likely untrue. in s2 though — i mean, is it? is that an unfair or inaccurate belief? i can understand how carrying that belief can get in the way of ed's growth and eventual healing but like. from an outside perspective of ed-the-fictional-character. he's not a "good" person. he's capable of and has done and continued to do horrible, cruel things. ethically, can you argue with that statement about him?

re: ed trying to destroy relationships because of his self-worth issues and instead the consequences of his actions proving that he's loved.

this is the point that made me go: right, no, i need to respond. i need to say my piece about this. izzy and the crew suffering ed's violent tyranny and then sticking around on the revenge anyway afterwards is not a sign of love. it is not showing love to bear pain for someone. it not showing love to let someone mistreat you, threaten you, hurt you, maim you. their actions are selfish and done to give them feelings of power and control over you. lying back and thinking of england to get through it is not love. it is absolutely a survival technique. but it is not love when you do it at the expense of yourself or others.

i also disagree that ed was trying to push people away or break his relationships with others. we know from s1 that ed is fairly blasé about whether crew members die. again, we don't see any friendly or intimate exchanges between ed and any of the crew to imply any kind of relationship there beyond "tools who accomplish ed's goals". the one exception, as always, is izzy. and as previously stated, ed seems bound and determined, in a very conscious way, to bring izzy into death with him. ed does everything in his power to make izzy want to kill ed, or at least agree that it's best if ed dies, and to want to kill himself so ed doesn't have to die alone. that isn't ed breaking that relationship; it's making it permanent in a really fucked up shakespearian way. the only relationship we see ed waffle between wanting to keep and wanting to push away is stede. after his corporate "apology" and the fishing trip with fang, all of ed's dialogue is with stede and a little bit with zheng until izzy's death scene. the crew loving ed just isn't a thing, at least not one we're shown. not from either side. ed's relationships are with stede and kind of, sort of with izzy (because he does manage to, if not fully break, do some major damage to that).

love did not save ed. ed wanting to live, because stede came back, because he didn't want to jump off hornigold's cliff in the first place, saved ed. izzy saved everyone else.

so yeah: that's it; that's the post. the rhetoric that abuse is love or that abuse can be "cured" with love or that trauma isn't lasting and serious and has impacts on people's daily lives is just. wild. wild.

and terrifying.

my dad was born in the 40s. why is anyone born in the 80s or later still defending this mindset? it honestly, truly freaks me out.

guess it's good i have a fucking therapy appointment on monday.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Ok so apparently there's a new Ed is abusive argument cropping up that's like taking us arguing that Ed's not a domestic abuser in a vacuum and arguing "but he abused his crew" as if that was the take that people were arguing with but I do actually want to address that take because it's also straight up not true either.

Like we have been repeatedly told you what business as usual for a pirate ship looks like, and it's not what Ed is doing. Stede opens the show with floggings and keelhaulings mentioned as standard practice. His crew doesn't take him seriously at least partially because he doesn't do those things. In 1.08 we get the first mention of captain Hornigold as having stabbed and beaten down Jack and Ed and having treated them worse than dogs. Episode 9 we get captain Izzy and what's the first thing he does? Threatened to withhold food for a whole week. Then we meet Hornigold who reveals that a punishment on his ship was a crab clawing through your stomach and that a standard threat was skinning a person and feeding it back to them.

And what does Ed do? Cuts off his abuser's toes. Shoots him in the leg for having the most gaslighting audacity I've ever seen. But aside from Izzy, in regards to whom I have cell block tango cued up for Ed, what did he actually do?

The first time someone expresses discontent is after the wedding raid which I think is probably towards the end of the 89 raids given that Izzy has his breakdown immediately after Ed throws them a cake party, in fact I would guess that it's raid number 88, they do raid 89 in between Izzy getting shot and Ed telling Frenchie they're never going back to land, and then Ed decides to kill himself that night. So anyway, raid 88, they've been doing this for 3 months, and Jim says "Is it just me or was the wedding thing a bit over the line?" to which Archie responds "IDK I've never really been to a wedding before so I have nothing to compare it to." as if she's just happy to be there, and then Fang says "I've never seen Blackbeard like this before," Which establishes that what we're going through right now, the 88 soon to be 89 raids are atypical of Ed's behavior, and then follows it up with "He didn't bat an eye when Ivan got killed" which establishes both why Ivan isn't around and why Fang is so sad, but also might establish that Ed would be upset with crewmembers dying, which is consistent with episode 4 when he yells at Stede that the crew dying is going to be his fault to show him what it's like being Blackbeard.

Then we have the scene where the crew defy Ed. Ed orders them to dump the treasure overboard, because it's fucking treasure. What's Ed's response? To take another one of Izzy's toes so that he looks like he cares about enforcing rules on his ship while not punishing the people actually going against him but instead punishing the guy who low key ruined his life. Then Izzy does his "you can cut off my toes but I need to know that this is a sexual thing for you too" bit and Ed doesn't take the bait until he says a Stedeism. And then he goes out to threaten everyone with a gun, which, you know. Not great but he ends it like this so

you know. something to consider.

and then he doesn't really do anything to the crew until the murder-suicide.

so his list of crimes currently is:

not really giving a fuck about Ivan dying where Fang can see it

Dismembering his abuser where people who don't have the full context can see it (not a crime just a based action that has side effects for the people who have to see it)

waving a gun around in a way that makes you wonder if he's about to shoot himself in the head

trying so so so so so so hard to get people to kill him because he's addicted to outsourcing the big job

Demanding the crew dump treasure overboard (standard practice if Zheng Yi Sao is to be believed)

Overworking the crew a little bit.

When we measure this against the stick of every non Stede pirate captain we've seen so far I think what these crimes amount to is hurting your friends in the process of hurting yourself. And that using the term abuse which calls to mind a very specific phenomenon is one of two things: Melodramatic moralizing (which is the internet's fav thing to do so you know what sure) or demonizing the brown guy in the midst of a mental health crisis.

I honestly think that outside of the murder suicide the only reason anyone had a problem with any of it was because Stede showed them what piracy could be like, that's the whole narrative point right. Stede's doing things differently, in a way that doesn't hurt everyone involved, and nobody wants to go back to the old way, because they're healing from that and Ed stopped healing because Someone told him that if he didn't there would be a fucking problem(wonder who it could have been). Like he's not even flogging anyone be serious.

[tatasoom]

"I'm still turning the pages"

Promised proper analysis of what happened in ep 12 and what creators wanted to tell us. Many quotes and pics and very real stories included. Enjoy!

The more I was thinking about the ending and how much disappointment and even hatred it brought, the more I was doubting the decision to make this analysis. However I believe there're people who open enough to look deeper, so you may like what the writers gave us.

It's three years after breaking up. Mhok and Day are hard-working people (as they used to be actually). Mhok is exploring his potential in cooking. Day is diving into his obsession with books.

There's a little hint for understanding how little these years mean for the brightest picture you'll never forget. It's Aon asking Day about writing his own book:

Should we get someone back here to assist you write?

Day's face has changed signaling that feelings are still there. Even after three years.

And then the meeting. And feelings from the perspective of Mhok.

And when it's almost the saddest scene in the whole world we're back to romantic comedy with P'Aof's one second cameo and pranks from Mhok. It feels like Mhok is silent in this scene only to laugh at Day, but it's a scene where Day is given a moment to think about his own feelings. And to get a little verbal slap at the end.

Then Mhok has a meeting with Phojai and Night. And if you look at their faces, you'll notice that nobody believes MhokDay story has ended. Some viewers have a question for Mhok acting like there hasn't been three years without the love of his life... Don't you think that all three years he has being told about Day by Phojai? I'm sure she did her best to be in contact!

And for Day blocking Mhok's number I have a personal experience reference. I unblocked my ex only when I was sure I feel nothing for him. I needed to be sure that whatever we'll say to each other my heart wouldn't feel the same way as when we were dating. It took around two or three years to learn this. Now do you understand Day better? After three years Mhok's number is still blocked.

So Mhok came to the Day's bookshop. They're playing this game second time. First it was Mhok's voice, and now it's Mhok's scent.

Day almost did it. He almost saved his face neutral. The book he chose as an editor betrayed him.

"Many books encourage us to put the past behind us and move forward. But this book raises the question: if the past was so beautiful, can we simply hold onto that beauty?"

Was their story beautiful enough to begin again with the same person?

Then they're again in the house they used to spent so much time together. And if it seems like Mhok again acts like caretaker, he's not. He is a guest now, he can make jokes, he can freely sit with others and he doesn't say another sorry to Mrs. Mhon. He's enjoying cooking for friends and teasing Day.

Later in another scene (that for sure is a homage to their fitting room scene from the third episode) Mhok said:

You don't have to put up such high walls with me. You know how happy I am when I get to take care of you.

For Day these words raise a question: what taking care of Day means for Mhok now?

And what we need to mention is Day's response to all this flirting:

You're going back in a few days.

That's also a question. For himself. For Mhok. What if going back won't happen? What then?

They continued this walk down memory line with another dining scene. When cake is served Day says something worth quotation.

"Everybody is created for development"

That's when Mhok is saying thank you for breaking up with him. And says something that truly correlates with them having adult's conversation:

I thought you couldn't live without me.

THIS is what tells us that Mhok has grown up due to their separation. When you're young you think that love is about someone you can't live without, but the truth is you can. You have yourself no matter what. And the mature love is about choosing to live this life with someone you can live without, but just don't want to. "Pity" is just a word, but Mhok is apologizing for more complicated thing, for treating Day as someone who can't understand mature things.

Btw, do you have any ideas about this close up of glass? For me it's the representation of something cold starting to warm up. Day?..

Then the wedding is happening and that's where I started crying for this big family becoming happy again. I think this whole ceremony deserves an award for melting hearts. The way Mrs.Mhon welcomed Phojai. The way Night gave a chance to speak up to his father. The way Day assured Night once again that the accident and the blindness have no effect on a strong bonding between them.

"... everyone should get a second chance. Especially a second chance to make themselves happy"

And then they're dancing. Even without flashbacks we can remember that day when they were dancing for the first time.

You were tense. Your palms were all sweaty.

And another try from Mhok:

If you could see, you would know that from then to now, my feelings for you remain.

And another question-not-question from Day:

... no matter what, you will need to fly back to work anyway.

I didn't see anyone mention this, but for me Day's repeating answers almost scream "tell me you have no reason to go back". Day is trying his best to be mature and he doesn't feel he has any rights to tell Mhok to stay. But he wants it, he wants it so damn much and he's afraid of it.

What you felt then should just stay in that moment.

Are these words for Mhok or Day is actually talking to himself?..

It's not like I wasn't happy with him. But how do I know if I give him a second chance, he won't repeat what he did? I can't live with this feeling for the rest of my life.

Some of you may say: "Won't repeat what? Won't go to Hawaii because of you?". Well, three years later things are different. Back then Mhok wanted to take that chance to start a career, we saw his face when rejecting an offer. Now he's experienced enough to find job anywhere. What Mhok shouldn't repeat is to stay just because he's afraid to leave Day alone. And all that words about repeating Day is also addressing to himself: is he now independent and confident enough to be with Mhok without feeling guilty?

This is love that normal people have. We don't know if it's head or tale but we choose to take a risk in order to step forward.

Some of us find love from the first try. Some of us have to try many times. For some of us it's always different people and sometimes it's the same person. As you growing older you realize that your heart is bigger than you could ever imagine and stronger than you could ever feel.

All of this leads to the one of the most hilarious scene in BL history. That whole airport scene also deserves an award for bringing back that 2000s romantic comedy vibes! Pure art, bravo!

Even though this airport scene didn't result in finding Mhok, they meet each other anyway. And dance. And Day says words that must tell us that he wants to see this world again! And he ask Mhok to be his boyfriend again. Not Mhok is apologizing and pleading as some viewers keep mentioning, but Day is asking for a second chance.

Then we have a glance at Day three years later. He can see again and he's helping a person who can't see.

At first I didn't get what the writers want to tell us with such a short scene. But later I remembered my cousin's story and now everything makes sense.

A couple years ago my cousin was diagnosed with a cancer. She was living in a small town where there's no doctor even to take all needed tests. She moved to the capital city, she found a doctor. Her family helped with money, and I know that the price for that medical treatment was extremely high for them. She had a surgery... at it didn't work. A cancer was still there, after months of suffering, after all money spent.

She didn't give up. She tried another treatment. She made a doctor to do more check ups. Finally she had another surgery. And it worked. Months later she's in remission, she's clear. She's struggling with having to take pills for the rest of her life. She also gained 20 kg and also started dieting and lost most of that weight.

My uncle, her father, told me all of this and mentioned the most impressive detail. Now she keeps in touch with different people who have cancer via chats to provide psychological support and to give practical recommendations. This story wasn't written by some novelist and wasn't directed by anybody, but could you believe it if I didn't tell you it's about my cousin?

"I have read Last Twilight countless times. I always wondered how Me would live if she had a normal life. I couldn't think of the answer then. Life amidst the dilemma caused me to forget what it was like to live a normal life or how happy I could be. When I finished Last Twilight for the first time, it was like my heart was shattered to pieces. I had always imagined myself as Me. If she disappeared, I must also disappear. But eventually, I realized that everyone had their unique tale to tell. We were made to discover our own preferred version of the novel's final. I consider myself lucky to have gone past the worst page in my novel. But I don't believe that this is the end. I'm still turning the pages"

As you could realize through these quotations, the story of Last Twilight is mostly about Day. And at the same time it belongs to every person around him, like in his favorite The little prince there're many characters that surround the main one.

In the end we see Mhok visiting his parents and Rung with Day. We see close up of Rung's car and there's no band aid on it, but the little scar is still there. What does it mean? I think it means that Mhok also is not covering his scars anymore. Somewhere behind the story we were shown he can finally talk about everything.

- You completely changed my life,Day.

- You completely changed my life too.

- I love you, Day.

- I love you, Phi Mhok.

As for the main question for the last episode, the mood of it... P'Aof and the writers wanted to show what the storm feels like. If you experienced the hardest part of your life and managed to survive the thought of losing any hope, you will not be the same. You will be funny, you will be ridiculous, you will be spontaneous, you will live your life like it's a damn hard to believe movie.

Btw, we were told a story of a boy who likes sunflowers - the flowers that refuse to stay in the dark🌻

And that's it. That's all, dear readers. If you're here, you should know that it means a lot to me. As much as Mhok and Day I guess. As much as Last Twilight. The story of hope. While writing this analysis I had to omit some details, so I think I will make small posts with different favorite moments. It was a nice journey and I already miss all metas and gifs and memes about Last Twilight every Friday and not only Friday. Let's stay here for other beautiful stories and of course for new stories from Jimmy and Sea and P'Aof!

[moony-2001]

Lore Olympus ep. 255 critique

Boy oh boy.

No remorse and tonal whiplash

We open this chapter with Persephone waking up not dead, total shock in Hades' arms, asking him if what happened was all a bad dream.

When Hades responds that what happened was not all in her head, we as the readers would expect Persephone to react with shock, remorse, something. Nope. Instead, we get this:

"Oh dear" with the most expressionless face ever. Our empathetic, caring protagonist everyone.

Now maybe I'm being too harsh. However, I feel like most people upon being confronted with the fact that they caused mass destruction would be pretty upset, if not incredibly so. But that's just my 2 cents.

We immediately transition into a party that's being set up for Persephone by all her friends and cohorts. We're then treated to this lovely image:

Thanks Captain Obvious.

While Hermes and Megaera argue over whether or not carrot cake is good, Thanatos pulls Hecate aside and notes about the massive uptick in incoming deaths which confirms what I said in my last critique post. While initially denying it, Hecate quickly realizes that something is very very wrong and that's when Hades and Persephone burst through the doors. Persephone bursts into tears and we get the most tone-deaf sentence ever:

Wow. Haha so funny. Comedy. Given the context of what just happened, this attempt at humor fell so flat.

I feel like the first third of this chapter kind of speaks for itself in terms of the writing and art, which is not good. There's just no emotion at all. I get the feeling that we're supposed to feel bad for Persephone and I just... don't. I don't have a whole lot more to say about this portion of the chapter; just that when I read it, I strained my eyeballs from rolling them so hard.

Hades tries not to make everything about himself challenge: Impossible

We transition into the post-party disaster cleanup where Persephone is hiding out in a greenhouse and Hades and Hecate are inside. Hades takes this opportunity to make everything about himself.

First of all, you're not and you're not.

But on a more serious note, this is not the first time we see Hades take a situation that has either nothing or almost nothing to do with him and make it all about himself. In fact, this is something he does frequently throughout the comic. Hades, in my opinion, very much has a "me, me, me, it's all about me" mindset.

One instance that comes to mind is this scene that happens in early s2 after Persephone opens up about her childhood and AOW. She barely has had time to share and process her traumatic experiences when Hades decides that this is the perfect time to dump 2000 years' worth of pent-up trauma onto a girl he's known for maybe 2 weeks at that point. Yet, he refuses to actively seek help during his time before meeting Persephone and even calls his therapist a hack.

Another instance is when Persephone confronts Hades about ripping out Alex's eye in s1 (when she was still somewhat empathetic to nymphs and whatnot).

Hades, when torturing Alex, very quickly shifts from the mentality of "you could've really damaged Persephone's reputation" to "I'm going to punish you because I view Persephone as my property and how dare you do this to me?"

Hades even outright admits it when confronted. He took a situation that had nothing to do with him and completely made it about himself.

Another instance is when Persephone tells Hades about what Apollo did to her and Hades flies off the handle and makes her trauma about himself. About what he is going to do even though that is not his decision to make.

It baffles me how conceited Hades is despite claiming to care about Persephone. I don't understand how you can look at a person who is going through a hell of a time and think "Let's make this about me". But that's a whole other post for the future

Zeus and Apollo

Skipping to the end of the episode, Apollo calls Hades (with Zeus' phone?) and tells him that he wants to take Persephone off Hades' hands.

Straight up, I don't like Hades and Persephone either as characters or together as a couple. I think they bring out the worst in each other. But Persephone is not some dog that needs to be rehomed and frankly, the whiplash Rachel is giving her audience in regards to Apollo's character is going to put me in a neck brace for life. She keeps flip-flopping between trying to make Apollo this sad, sympathetic anti-hero and the most egregious villain to walk the earth. You can not be both Zuko and Azula Rachel. You need to pick a lane and stay in it.

Apollo reveals that Zeus is in a coma and Hermes conveniently has the news up and running so we as the audience can be greeted with this:

"Attempted murder" you say? Of a being that literally can't die? Rachel, do you even know what attempted murder means?

"The defendant took at least one direct (but ineffective) step towards killing another person" and "The defendant intended to kill that person (malice aforethought)" -> California Law and Sentencing

While both of these are true in the fact that Apollo took the steps to kill Zeus and also intended to kill Zeus, they're gods. You can't murder a god. In order for murder to be attempted, or to even happen, the person in question has to be able to die. But then they're a human, not a god.

I feel like a more accurate report would be something along the lines of "Zeus has fallen victim to what seems to be a violent coup that has left him seriously incapacitated." Maybe that's not the best sentence to ever grace the writing scene, but hopefully my point is clear.

Also, how are people still oblivious to the fact that Apollo is, at the very least, incredibly suspicious right now. I mean his father has just been announced to be "dying" and instead of taking the time to mourn or even appear upset, he immediately slides into the position of power as King of the gods.

This chapter definitely wasn't as bad as 254, but it did make my brain hurt. Merry Christmas Eve and Happy Holidays to those of you who don't celebrate Christmas. See you all soon.

[vidavalor]

It is very much hot cocoa weather over here -- did you know that peppermint candy canes make excellent cocoa stirrers? (provided you remember to take the plastic cover off!)

Also, I was thinking a bit about the classic Ronnie Barker sitcom 'Open All Hours' recently, specifically the episode where Arkwright tries to shift an overstock of Jamaica Ginger Cake by spreading rumours that it's a potent aphrodisiac -- the Ineffables are very likely aware of that show (the outfit they sort out for Jimbriel seems to intentionally reference both miserly shopkeeper Arkwright and his beleaguered nephew/assistant/errand boy Granville), so do you think there's any Ineffable Etymology around Jamaica Ginger Cake that would've given these adorable word-nerds an extra layer of amusement?

They do indeed, Dear Philosopher! Can't go wrong with a peppermint hot chocolate. Here in the strange weather land that is Massachusetts, it's still either hot chocolate weather or lemonade weather, depending on the day. Mostly fall, though. I've been drinking a lot of green and lemon balm tea with honey to help with allergies and definitely need something a bit more seasonal for a boost soon. A peppermint hot chocolate might be just the ticket. 😊

I remember that sitcom & the idea that they're referencing it with the costumes. Gabriel and Aziraphale definitely do it with more style, though. That sitcom is also an interesting one to reference since Arkwright is always lusting after/flirting with that redheaded lady and whole plots exist about him sneaking into her room across the street at night. If memory serves me correctly, it also took about half the show for them to actually reveal what the deal was between the two of them and tell the audience that they'd actually been engaged for years but family conflicts were keeping them from just getting married already. 😉

I might be biased because it's my favorite British sitcom but I think Crowley & Aziraphale would be more likely to be big fans of Are You Being Served?. It's a bit of its time in parts when you watch it now but it also was very daring tv for the 70s and is very much in the same style of their dirty humor. Also, Fawlty Towers! I watched "The Kipper and The Corpse" & "Waldorf Salad" again to laugh when I was sick a few weeks ago. I assume that it is required by law to have seen this show where you live, correct? 😂 Crowley and Aziraphale would be wheezing laughing at those. I remember the ginger cake episode of Open All Hours! The bit where he convinces the gossipy guy that it's an illegal aphrodisiac and then all the men he tells start coming to the store in sunglasses to buy it like it's drugs. 😂

If we're talking about ginger cake, we might as well also talk about Aziraphale's euphemistically spicy recounting of his baking habit to Crowley in Lockdown...

Ginger and cake are actually both used in Crowley & Aziraphale speak separately already. Ginger is used by Aziraphale to describe Crowley, as it is part of the "jinnjer" wordplay in the Baraqiel entry in Demon's Guide. The travel sweets are also ginger candies (probably lemon-ginger, even more Crowley).

Obviously, ginger is a way to refer to redheads but it relates to Crowley in a food way as well. It is rather sweet, since ginger can be used as a spice and as a healing food. It is known to be stress-relieving and to help with stomach upsets and anxiety. It also brings warmth and heat and spice when added to food and drink.

To refer to Crowley as ginger is to refer to his ability to be both exciting and comforting-- to arouse and to calm, at once.

As a lot of people already know, cake, in everyday euphemistic speak, refers to a person's caboose or to sex in general. My favorite recent example is the song "Cake By the Ocean" because there are people who think it only refers to getting married and are using it at weddings without realizing that it's also euphemistic for having sex on the beach. Cake, in Crowley and Aziraphale's speak in Good Omens, though, has an additional meaning that Aziraphale was using in Lockdown.

Everything that Aziraphale told Crowley he baked with recipes from the "cookbook sextion section" of the bookshop that is also metaphorically Aziraphale is euphemistic for the kind of fantasy he was having to, ah... arrive at his planned destination by, ah... enjoying his own company. We actually listen in real time as Aziraphale codes cake as masturbation because, while it seemed to have the usual meanings mentioned above beforehand, Crowley actually says "ah, I follow, I follow" in Lockdown when he sees where Aziraphale is going with this whole cake thing.

So, what's Aziraphale been practicing for the showstopper on The Great British Bake Off during Lockdown? 😂

Aziraphale: "I got peckish. I've now made bundt cake, sponge cake, *Angel's* Food Cake, four different kinds of sourdough loaf, Schwarzwalder Kirschtorte..."

Peckish-- Aziraphale for horny, since 1793.

Bundt cake-- Bundt cake is pretty much the only cake in existence that is named not for what kind of cake it is but for the pan used to bake the cake. You can make a zillion different kinds of cake in a Bundt cake pan but they're all, technically, Bundt cakes. It's cake that is named for the tool used to bake the cake.

Aziraphale never said what kind of cake he baked in aforementioned Bundt cake pan. It could have been, for instance, a thematically-appropriate fantas-- I mean, cake! involving a Bundt cake pan, for instance, but we don't quite know for sure because Aziraphale was actually just most eager to tell Crowley that he'd been putting the, er, kitchen equipment to good use.

A Bundt cake, in Ineffable Husbands Speak, is an alone time session enjoyed with the assistance of a rubber duck (a dildo; a vibrator).

I'm sure that Aziraphale is also amused that the Bundt cake pan is an American invention and comes from a variation of the German word bund, which means an association. The chipper tone of voice suggesting that the angel couldn't wait to make this joke. 😂

Sponge cake-- Cake baked involving a bath or shower that may or may not have also been had in the bath or shower. Apparently, an Aziraphale favorite location for ducking, given that Crowley's revenge for The Seeds of Destruction on the way to Tadfield in S1 was apparently to suggest they take a shower together when they got home:

Which also adds another funny element to...

*Angel's* Food Cake-- Aziraphale's heavy verbal italics on the first word there is emphasizing that he knows damn well that this is not actually the name of the dessert. It's called Angel Food Cake. Its counterpart does have a possessive-- Devil's Food Cake. You will notice that no matter how much Aziraphale loves chocolate, he does not bake a Devil's Food Cake-- literally or euphemistically. That would be pretty offensive and Satan is not exactly something that's going to get Aziraphale there. He's intentionally referencing Devil's Food Cake, though, in purposefully renaming Angel Food Cake as Angel's Food Cake to Crowley. This is a play-on-words relating to the etymology of both cakes names.

Devil's Food Cake is called that because of the idea that it was so rich and delicious that it had to be the sinful food of The Devil. Angel Food Cake is called that because it is a light and fluffy and therefore apparently angel-like sponge cake. (It's here where we should mention that the kind of cake that Aziraphale uses to describe Crowley that we'll get to down below is also a sponge cake. 😊) Devil's Food Cake has the possessive because the food was seen as sinful and, so, *of* Satan-- belonging to him. Angel Food Cake does not have the possessive because the cake is not seen as sinful and the connection to angels is more figurative description rather than a declaration of belonging.

Aziraphale refers to one of the "cakes" he "baked" to Crowley as "Angel's Food Cake"-- tongue-in-cheekily (and also sweetly) giving the connotation of the cake as being angelic and not satanic. There's a double way of reading "Angel's Food" that's also clever-- the apostrophe s would indicate that the cake in question here would be of Aziraphale's own, since he's the one of the two of them who is the angel and "angel" is also what Crowley calls him but the angel's food would be from an external source-- a ginger one who is not ever willingly Devil's Food Cake but is consensually Angel's Food Cake anytime Aziraphale is feeling peckish.

Four, different kinds of sourdough loaf-- Sourdough loaf is a type of bread. Bread, as we've seen elsewhere, is a partner in partnered sex (Mrs. Sandwich partners up slices of bread, etc..); it's also Cockney Rhyming Slang for head (as in, the human head), which is euphemistic for oral sex. It's bread because of rising dough via yeast being metaphorical for arousal. Each type of bread mentioned in the story (black bread; brioche, etc..) could then be used euphemistically to mean something different. Sourdough is a sweet choice of bread for Aziraphale to use euphemistically because of the word it contains:

Four, different kinds of sourdough loaf = four, different fantasies about the two of them in bed.

Sourdough is also bread that is made with a process of fermentation, like alcohol. A linguistic overlap of words related to both baking and alcohol-- proof/proofing/proving-- is innuendo in 1941's alley scene, when Aziraphale remarks that the theatre is "so improving", which is also "I'm proving", referring to getting turned on.

Crowley replies with "Talking of improving", which is not the correct way to phrase that, as the well-spoken Crowley well knows. The proper way would be to say: "Speaking of improving" but the word speak contains the word peak, which is not what Crowley was going for there in that moment, but is elsewhere ("You speak every language of the world. We both do." in the present in S2 referring to getting off on words).

Crowley uses the word talking instead because talk/talking more directly refers to wording in their cant (Crowley in 1.01 in the phonebooth: "Aziraphale, it's me. We need to talk."; in 2.06, "they're toxic", pronounced as "they're TALK-ic", to try to get Aziraphale to hear his use of coded speech. More amusingly, casually, about him and Aziraphale to an unaware Maggie and Nina: "We talk all the time.")

Schwarzwalder Kirschtorte-- An elegant and sexy chocolate sponge cake covered in chocolate ganache and made with layers of-- and topped with-- cherries and whipped cream. Crowley, in cake form lol. It is the same kind of cake as Aziraphale used to refer to himself earlier.

A Schwarzwalder Kirschtorte is basically a Black Forest Gateau but German law states that for you to refer to it as a Schwarzwalder Kirschtorte, it must contain kirschwasser, a distilled brandy made from fermented cherries. There are places that make this same type of cake but substitute other types of liquor or omit alcohol entirely-- those cakes are Black Forest Gateaus by default, though. Only when it has that specific cherry brandy is the cake what Aziraphale calls it-- a Schwarzwalder Kirschtorte.

In terms of how Aziraphale's "cakes baked" is tracking here, this dessert would involve the Schwarzwalder Kirschtorte, ah... feeling around for his car keys, shall we say?

Adding to that is that Aziraphale said that he had to "miracle in the cherries." He's saying so to ask Crowley to use magic to come over and fuck him before Aziraphale is eventually found dead beneath a sea of dildos and scones. While he's not sure about the risk of Crowley hunkering down during the Lockdown, he misses him desperately and is absolutely calling Crowley with eleven different fantasies-- we aren't even bringing up that whole hot guys breaking into the bookshop one lol-- and a general air of get over here and do me, Red about him.

"The cherries" is an adorably cheeky description for Crowley. Red fruit for the redheaded Serpent of Eden, yeah, and those ones, in particular, because cherries have that euphemistic association with sexual firsts, in line with the suggestion in Rome and other scenes that Crowley had trouble having an orgasm with a partner before Aziraphale. Cherries, plural, for the midwife/cobbler.

Furthering the Rome suggestion is that Crowley, when he brings up hunkering down at the bookshop, says that he can bring over a case of "something... drinkable." He places an emphasis on the 'drinkable'. This is what Crowley was saying to the bartender when Aziraphale heard him in Rome and appears to be shorthand for Rome between Crowley and Aziraphale in Lockdown.

Offering to bring something drinkable could be to offer a repeat of Rome, kind of in the same way that Aziraphale used Paris, 1793 as shorthand for what he wanted for lunch in the 2008 of 1.01.

When Crowley then says, while clearly understanding for what Aziraphale has been using cake as euphemistic, that he wants to "slither over" and watch Aziraphale "eat cake", he's saying he wants to watch him masturbate, with the added amusement of the use of 'slither' in there drawing a comparison between the snake ability to hypnotize with their eyes/Aziraphale's thing for Crowley's vavoomy eyes and Crowley's own enjoyment of visual stimuli.

"Fascinating little restaurants where they know you" in 1.01 is the same kind of joke, as the the root of the word fascination is the hypnotic gaze of a snake.

Ginger cake, in Crowley and Aziraphale speak, would then probably be the same thing as a Schwarzwalder Kirschtorte, in that, to them, ginger refers to Crowley and cake refers to masturbation. As it was in that Open All Hours episode you mentioned, "Jamaican" is still code in basically every kind of speak there is for marijuana. I know that Jamaican Ginger Cake is British and is called such because it is meant to be made with molasses and/or sugar-- not pot-- from Jamaica but, if we're talking about euphemisms in general, then Jamaica usually is referring to weed. I don't think Crowley and Aziraphale would use it any differently.

There could be something in there with jam and bread but it feels more like it'd be coincidental humor, like the bund/association stuff in Bundt cake above. If the phrase is "Jamaican Ginger Cake" and we go with what Aziraphale made up above, as well as Crowley's "having a nap" Lockdown euphemism for what you Brits call "having a wank", then "Jamaican Ginger Cake", in Ineffable Husbands Speak, would be Crowley having a weed-augmented, ah... nap.

The way that poor demon could use both a slice of Jamaican Ginger Cake and an actual nap about now... 😂

[kissorkill16]

A Disgusting Human Being: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: Ivan was right, Mr. Murtaugh is a despicable human being. But not because of a grade.

(P.S., I know he's not a cultist, this is just something I wanted to write before Episode 5 came out. Also, it's my AU of Season 2, so I can do what I want.)

Ivan woke up, his stomach feeling like he ate a huge cake and got a stomach bug. He tried opening his eyes a little more, but when he did, he noticed someone kneeling down next to him.

And he nearly screamed when he saw Mr. Murtaugh.

He was about to scream, but the science teacher covered his mouth. Plus, Ivan's voice sounded choked up enough as it is.

"Careful, Ivan. You just woke up.", said the science teacher.

"Get away from me, you maniac!", said Ivan. "What happened to me? Where am I?"

Mr. Murtaugh put his hands up and began explaining.

"Ivan, you're at the Golden Apple Amusement Park. We brought you here so you wouldn't escape, and I'm the one who patched up your stomach.", he said. "I wouldn't move around so much if I were you, dear."

Ivan looked down at his stomach, and he was absolutely shocked by the bandages wrapped around his abdomen and chest.

He sat up quickly, "I knew it! I knew you were Crowface! I knew it, I knew it, I -"

Mr. Murtaugh pushed Ivan back down to the ground. "Ivan Torre, I'm not Crowface.", he said. "Well, I kind of am. But I'm one of his members."

Ivan still didn't get it. "Explain to me in detail what you mean, Murtaugh.", he said sternly.

The science teacher sighed, but he began explaining.

"You may know me as your science teacher, but I also work as a cultist for this one you call Crowface. I, however, call him my master.", he said. "I overheard you and your friends talking about where you were going to be spying on different people around town, and when I heard you were coming to the school, I had to call the master."

Ivan just sat there, looking absolutely shocked.

"You told your boss to try and kill me?"

"I understand that it's a terrible thing to do.", said the science teacher, putting his hands up. "But I have to do what's right for the master. If I don't, God knows what he'll do to me."

The boy looked up at his science teacher with angry eyes. "You're a disgusting human being. I so badly want to say worse words, but my throat is so sore I can barely speak.", he said. "What would your students think about this?! What would -"

Ivan's eyes widened in realization.

"What would Nicky think about this?"

Mr. Murtaugh's eyes widened. "Nicholas?"

"Yes!", said Ivan. "Nicholas is your patient, you're his therapist! He trusts you to be there for him when he needs to talk, just think about how heartbroken he'll be when he finds out that his own therapist was a cultist."

"And that's why he's not going to find out.", said the science teacher. "That's why we're keeping you here, we can't have you going to squeal to your friends or your parents about tonight. I especially can't have you telling Nicholas about this."

"Why?! Because you don't want him to see the real you?!"

The science teacher sighed, "I don't like keeping you here either.", he said. "You're my best student, you never ceased to amaze me with your intelligence. But you can also be very talkative, so how do I know you won't tell Nicky about this?"

Ivan angrily sat up, "He has a right to know and you know it! Nicky is a dumb fool that puts a lot of trust in people so easily, but he's also my friend and you're patient for Einstein's sake!", he said, then he laughed out loud. "I kind of wish that it was both of us at the school. Would you have told your master to kill both of us?! Hm?!"

Mr. Murtaugh stood up and left the room, shutting the door on the way out, trying to drown out Ivan's screaming.

"YOU ARE A DISGUSTING HUMAN BEING, MURTAUGH! YOU WILL REGRET THE DAY YOU MESSED WITH THE INVENTOR'S CLUB! NICKY WILL FIND OUT ABOUT YOU, AND I SWEAR THAT YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET THE DAY YOU WERE BORN!"

The science teacher sighed and leaned against the wall, pressing his knuckle to his forehead.

He was getting too soft on these kids, and if the boss found out, he knew he'd be dead.

Leslie walked beside the man, he must've also heard Ivan's screaming. "Nice job on cleaning up the wounds. I thought you didn't like children.", he said.

"I don't.", said the science teacher.

"So do you want me to kill him?"

Mr. Murtaugh shook his head, "Not tonight. But soon, very soon."

[ultrawalflower1212]

only friends episode 3 thoughts/debrief

ok so this episode was mad. and there's a lot to talk about.

Boston: I hate him. i feel like we're all so busy debating whether or whether not Mew's a bad person that we just let Boston be diabolical. i hate the way he toys with Nick and purposefully give him hope also the way he manipulates Nick into being ok with their dynamic; reprimanding Nick's valid concerns by calling him dramatic and convinces Nick to be ok with their current dynamic (implying that a relationship may be possible as long as Nick "keeps being so lovely")

this episode further proves to me that Boston doesn't actually want a real relationship with Top he just wants the control.

i think Boston views sex as a transaction and is used to using his body/sexuality as currency based on the way he reacts to Nick turning down his offer of sex in return for the cctv camera's.

i don't know why but i feel like Boston had feelings for/was attracted to Mew and was shot down, my reasoning is his comment to Nick about Top and his tweets. him comforting Nick by telling him he prefers cute to hot got me thinking and his old tweets about entitled to someone felt too intentionally vague.

part of me feels like Boston does like Nick. Boston seems like a commitment-phobe he hates the idea of being 'tied down' but enjoys the idea of someone being committed to him. in the scene of him and Nick in the car he tells Nick that he can define their relationship however he wants and i genuinely believe he means that because then he get's to have his cake and eat it too, he get's to reap all the boyfriend benefits without having to actually be in a real relationship and Nick get's to decide what they are.

bottom line Boston and Nick are now basically label-less which comes with it's own set of problems, a lack of labels means a lack of boundaries.

Nick: Nick doesn't seem to have any friends outside of Sand or at least none he feels comfortable enough around to ask for advice causing him to tur to twitter.

i think Nick way smarter than we anticipated, seeing photo's of Boston and Top and immediately deciding to look into it instead of giving Boston the benefit of the doubt showing that while he definitely likes Boston he also isn't delusional, him bugging the car while crazy and invasive is also pure genius.

while i know Nicks going to use the video to try and get Boston to date him part of me doesn't want him to, i want him to either use it to get Boston to come clean or show it to Mew because he deserves to know.

Mew: the more episodes i watch the more i begin to doubt the whole 'Mew the master manipulator' thing.

i was expecting him to be completely sober when he shut the door but he wasn't.

i think Mew is to Ray what Cheum is to him, his biggest supporter, the way he hypes way up to talk to Sand shows how much he cares, i think the photos are completely out of context.

i personally think the reason we want Mew to be a bad person is because it softens the blow of all the shit that's going to happen to him, it's a lot easier to watch someone suffer when we think they deserve it.

Top: I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU HOW DARE YOU.

no but for real Top got on my nerves this episode, is he allergic to communication or something.?

him seeing a photo from two years ago and using it as a reason to cheat is crazy because what supposedly happened between Mew and Ray TWO YEARS AGO none of your business but also it's a picture of them kissing that doesn't prove Boston's point Mew said he's a virgin not that he's never kissed anyone.

it's mental that he thinks a 'kiss' between two friends TWO YEARS prior to their relationship as a justification for cheating on him in present day.

Ray: i think it's interesting that the only way Boston's plan worked was by implying Mew was in danger of getting hurt which leads me to believe that Ray's love for Mew is entirely selfless. while i think Ray will always love Mew i also think he's falling out of love with him.

i understand why Ray dropped everything to pick up Mew because Mew is locked out on his own drunk (we know he doesn't drink.)

Ray's issues being handled with a surprising amount of seriousness (i.e being told to see a shrink, someone saying he spends more time at the bar than college) it's refreshing to see.

Sand: while i completely get why sand decides to not sleep with Ray because he's afraid of growing attached but in my opinion he's shot himself in the foot because they're gonna keep hanging out and he's gonna fall for ray's personality which is a lot harder to explain away.

yeah today's episode was mad, this is definitely going to be a weekly thing.