#can u gays tell i love my wifi
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brrrkdslek · 1 year ago
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mingi was annoying to say the least. sure, he seemed like a sweetheart at first but one he became your roommate it got chaotic fast. he would mooch off your food, your bed, your plushies, your clothes and even your wifi which he's currently trying to figure out for like,,, two weeks now.
"just tell me it!" you sighed before rolling your eyes for the nth time of the day, "no, what's the point of a wifi password if i'm just gonna share it?" mingi huff and flopped onto the couch, phone still in hand as he typed in another idea of the password.
"what's the point of being roommates if we don't share anything!?" you slam your hand on the coffee table, "it's not like i asked for you to be my roommate!" mingi blew raspberries at you before getting an idea and quickly typing into his phone.
you rolled your eyes before turning your attention back to your laptop, typing away. "uh, i got in." you snorted, "you got in what? harvard?" you laughed at your own joke. it turned quiet for a moment and you turned around with your eyebrow raised to see mingi, covering the bottom half of his face, cheeks dusted in pink.
you give him the 'what the hell' look as he cleared his throat, scratching his head. "what is it, mingi?" he smiled gently, "why's your password 'ilovemingi3000'?"
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ellabsbb · 1 year ago
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⋰˚☆ barista ellie headcannons ☕️
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.⋆ first of all she looks SO hot in the uniform im drooling. okay sorry moving on
.⋆ wears the work hat backwards daily even though she gets yelled at by management for it every time
.⋆ you know what they say about gay baristas 🫡 she’s putting her whole ellussy into those drinks
.⋆ tries to flirt with a older lady and gets laughed at by her coworkers bc it goes so bad 😭 and she’s so embarrassed she has to go do some laps in the freezer
.⋆ literally is starstruck when she first sees you
.⋆ she stutters through the “how can i help you today” lmao
.⋆ gives you a pastry “on the house” which she immediately got in trouble for and it came out of her paycheck but she didn’t care because it was so worth it to see you smile like that
.⋆ has your order memorized by heart
.⋆ writes goofy lame pick up lines on your cup everyday
.⋆ “know what’s next on the menu? me n u” “are you wifi? because i feel a connection” “i lost my phone #, can i borrow yours?”
.⋆ acts sooo chill and nonchalant when you finally give her your number … only to start doing like. jumping jacks and dancing when you walk out of the shop LOL
.⋆ blushes sooo hard when you tell her you love the way she smells like coffee beans
.⋆ and then she stupidly smells her own armpit or something
.⋆ dresses up real nice for your first date and even asks joel if she looks good. (the real nice in question being a baby blue button up and jeans) (joel says yes) (and she totally calls him after and squeals in excitement to him that you said she looked good)
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skyephobic · 2 years ago
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i love ur ideas of terukane just being soft with each other ugh like teru wrapping his wings and tails around akane who is blushing hard is cute and can i ask for ur whole idea on this entire thing?
apologies if this is like the second time u seen this? cause the wifi connection here was shit and i didn't know if my previous message about asking for ur whole au idea was sent or not😭
it is the second time but DONT WORRY !! my wifi is also terrible i'm supposed to be on vacation but i'm talking about gay people [best vacation ever really i rarely get to talk abt em]
AND THANK U SM its actually funny that i say fluffy things like those because usually i absolutely destroy their lives in hcs .. fluff usually isn't my forte but i love the idea of protective dragon teru idk it just matches him
[i say academy instead of nursery since that's more what it's like in my idea BARE WITH ME . ..]
the au itself is a handful different from the official one. the academy is more of a researcher building and akane's role has also changed into more of just like.. a normal researcher. he's spent most of his life there while teru has spent all his life there. akane was handed over to the academy when he was young [and since he was raised there, he was the youngest researcher they had for a long time] and teru was obviously born there. the place itself isn't as fun as how the original au portrays it, its more boring and routinely- which akane was perfectly fine with.
teru on the other hand was not. more because he was the one who was studied and it bothered him, he didn't really like it honestly.
so one day. he bursts into akane's room and akane tells him not to do that because he's working and could get them both in trouble. teru quietly closes the door with his tail and he's like 'okay well anyway so.. i wonder how cool the outside world is' and akane raises an eyebrow because none of them are really supposed to talk about it, especially not the monsters because they're more capable of causing disruption. akane tells him to get to the point since he's rambling about it and teru just says they should run off! akane says why would they even want to do that when they're safe at the academy and teru responds with "we'll have freedom." they argue back and forth before akane reluctantly agrees. they make an exit out the window and go straight to akane's car, congrats to them!
when akane turned 18, he was allowed to be in and out of the academy. he has an apartment of his own and thank god for that because they'd be doomed otherwise... but before they go, akane has a small breakdown in his car about how he doesn't know what he's doing since it's not part of their routine. teru tells him they'll be fine and will figure things out with time, which is exactly what akane hates.. but it's oh well at this point. there's also a confession in his car for some reason, but akane's worried since it's considered forbidden. they know they love each other but aren't dating yet
when they get to the end there's this cool little force field thing nd akane has to use his bat to open up a small hole in it. it's like an ID basically... but teru doesn't like the bat at all since it's specifically for dragons.
akane says not to worry about it though. he doesn't ever really open up about it but he was paired with aoi when he was younger [wolf monster thing. ..] and they got along pretty well. they tried running away at some point too but it didn't work. aoi decided researchers Suck since she couldn't be free and scratches akane [they're both still kids at the time, the monsters age normally since i'm not quite sure how it works. akane does research on them despite being young though] and so she's handed onto someone much more capable. akane wasn't sure why it happened so he couldn't really tell the adults much.. he wasn't paired with another monster [teru, who he already knew at the time.. so it was safer. he was given from mei and shijima to akane. most the monsters were around his age since he was a teenager already, meaning they saw him more as a friend than a researcher] until he fully healed. people thought he was incapable of defending himself or something and since teru was a dragon they gave him that bat. Woohoo ! but he never uses it since teru never made an actual attempt to hurt him
anyway they get to akane's apartment and akane's like "oh yeah my ex boyfriend lives next door he's annoying just ignore him" and teru is.. . easily jealous as a dragon. teru asks him to be his boyfriend instead and akane Shockingly agrees before teru picks him up and spins him around... he's the reason akane's glasses are so broken goddamn!
anyway they both head to bed soon after and their lives go pretty normally except akane Becomes nocturnal to match teru's horrid schedule . they go out at night since teru can't really hide his dragon like features
they go to empty places with like flowers and sometimes teru burns them. So oops
basically its pretty nice until they get caught. a monster isn't allowed to escape and a researcher assisting makes it worse. so congrats to them
aoi was the one sent to get them and bring them back so akane is so.. . awkward and teru doesn't understand
thats all i have so far </3 forgive me anon this is messy
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ashistrashhh · 4 years ago
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here are some fic recs!! including sakuatsu, bokuaka, kuroken and matsuhana bc i couldnt help myself
if you want, ask me about a certain ship and ill give you some recs!
-sakuatsu-
Marble and Sandstone by red_camellia
rating: G words: 12,937 chapters: 2/2 
author summary: Miya Atsumu only cares about volleyball and nothing else. That is, until he develops a strange obsession with the marble statue of a young man that seems vaguely familiar in his university's arts department. One day that statue comes alive as the very real Sakusa Kiyoomi, and they are left with the mystery of why Sakusa Kiyoomi was turned into a statue and only came back to life when Atsumu touched him. Their new-found connection and the strange mystery turns Atsumu's life upside down, not least because of his growing feelings for Sakusa.
my notes: this was a rlly cute fic!!! 11/10 would read again!!
let it go (paint my body gold) by lunarism
rating: T words: 3,272 chapters: 1/1
author summary: It becomes a routine for them. Sometimes they go grocery shopping and make dinner together, other times they end up talking until Sakusa feels like his own shower and bed is calling him. Every single time Sakusa gets home, shrugs his coat off, balls it up, and proceeds to scream profusely into the fabric for a few minutes.
my notes: pining!!! sakusa!!! also casual painter!atsumu!!! and they paint together!!!
craft a miracle with these hands, lips, (silence) by chrysanthe (sonderesque)
rating: T words: 4,252 chapters: 1/1
author summary: ‘Someone is here to ruin your night,’ his door tells him. ‘You should let them in.’ “I’M HOMELESS OMI-OMI. HOMELESS,” yells the one here to ruin his night. “LET ME IN.”
(What does Kiyoomi sell his sanctuary for?)
my notes: hnnn rlly fuckin cute,, and domestic,,,,
Clipped To You by littleboat
rating: T words: 8,174 chapters: 1/1
author summary: It starts with Hinata Natsu, of all people.
Well, if Atsumu’s being honest with himself, it started way before that, but he’s not, so that’s besides the point. And thankfully, he’s just petty enough to blame all of his problems on a thirteen year old girl.
or Sakusa starts wearing hair clips and Atsumu is more than a little obsessed
my notes: minor kagehina, bokuaka // god these fics rlly make me simp for fictional characters even more than i should. but!! sakusa!!! in hairclips!!! and a pining atsumu!!!
learn how to lay me down in something other than danger, other than fury by rosevtea 
words: 34,211 chapters: 1/1
author summary: All of the ways fellow college TA Miya Atsumu reinvents Kiyoomi's definition of normal.
my notes: god i loved this. it’s a fake dating au and like,, even though they’re “dating” sakusa keeps letting his guard down little by little around atsumu and it surprises everyone. komori and akaashi just know  that they’re were genuinely pining for eachother
among probabilities and a thousand fates by aalphard
rating: T words: 15,675 chapters: 1/1
author summary: prompt fill for “in a world where the red string of fate exists, person a’s finger always twitches when person b, who can see the string, tugs on their string” | or sakusa thought he had a tic and atsumu liked to see his confused expression when it started to happen exclusively when he was around.
my notes: i! loved! it!! so basically atsumu and osamu have the rare gift of seeing the red string of fate, so they know its real but sakusa, like most other people dont believe it exists. so atsumu gives sakusa a (kinda) hard time. rlly cute!! i love soulmate aus!
-bokuaka- 
love in the time of wifi by dalyeau
rating: G words: 4,177 chapters: 1/1
author summary: Akaashi is coming to terms with the fact that he might be romantically interested in his volleyball captain. Hence, doing what any sixteen year old with a problem should do. He asks about it online.
my notes: really cute fic about akaashi asking what he should do about his crush on a site similar to reddit. its kinda a “i didnt know it was you” kind of fic and it made me happy
steam by orphan_account
rating: E words: 8,474 chapters: 1/1
author summary:
 bokuto: why is he so hot bokuto: why am i so gay kuroo: LMAO you mean your vice captain right bokuto: yeah
The coach blew the whistle for practice to begin, and Bokuto drummed his fingers against the bleachers, awaiting Kuroo’s reply. He was about to walk away, when his phone buzzed in his hand.kuroo: i got this bro bokuto: what bokuto: wtf does that mean
Bokuto started to panic.
my notes: explicit!!! but really wholesome. kuroo is honestly the best wingman. i also think this is my favourite bokuaka smutfic?? 
just to miss the sun by rosevtea
rating: T words: 15,126 chapters:1/1
author summary: Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.
my notes: akaashi is a booktuber and bokuto crashes one of his streams. fans begin to speculate. rlly fluffy and can u tell i like bokuaka
brain fish by iceblinks
rating: T words: 12,026 chapters: 6/6
author summary: Akaashi wakes up to a string of texts from an unknown number. 
my notes: i love text fics and i love wrong number aus so u can tell how much i loved this. really fluffy and i come back to it time to time
-kuroken-
us three by honey_s
rating: T words: 5,137 chapters: 1/1
author summary: Kuroo’s gaze flits over to the utensil. His eyes bulge out of his skull. “Wh—is that a meat hammer? Put it back!” Akaashi’s head recoils back in confusion. “I don’t understand the problem here.” “Why on Earth have you got a fucking meat hammer? We aren’t going to kill somebody!” “Well,” Akaashi begins, clearly taken aback, “I apologise for assuming. I had heard Kenma-san had been hurt in school and after getting a message from both of you to meet late at night, I merely filled in the blanks and assumed we were going to beat someone up, for lack of a better term.” “Not literally! I meant metaphorically, or figuratively, or something!” “Idiomically?” “That isn’t a word, Bokuto-san.” “Jesus Christ,” Kuroo groans, dropping his head into his hands. “We're going to jail."
my notes: bokuaka and kuroo are ready to beat someone up for kenma!! and we stan!! 
Cherry Pits and Cat Tattoos by strawberryriver
rating: G words: 6,141 chapters: 1/1
author summary: 
Kuroo has been in communication with his soulmate ever since they were kids. They've known each other for so long that he never really worried about when or how he would meet them. At least, not until he meets the roommate of Bokuto's soulmate.Soulmate AU in which things written on your skin show up on your soulmate. Companion piece/same AU as Serendipty
--------------------
Kuroo Tetsurou liked to write on his arms. Despite his mother's half-serious warnings about “ink poisoning” or staining his skin, he insisted on marking his arms and legs wherever he could. Not like his best-friend-since-always Bokuto Koutaro, who had to write on his arms or he’d forget to breathe, but artfully. He’d draw designs, animals, the occasional chemical compound. The whole idea behind soulmates fascinated him: how one person could mark their arm and someone potentially thousands of miles away, would have that same mark appear. The amount of articles, studies, and books he’d read about the topic, even at a young age, could put an undergrad researcher to shame.
my notes: again with the soulmate au bc i cannot help myself. but really cute!!! probably gonna read this again later!
Boom, Toasted by protostar (hearthope)
rated: T words: 6,782 chapters: 1/1
author summary:
 FROM: yuuji any bets on who hes texting??
FROM: eita He's smiling at his phone. Kuroo, probably
FROM: kentarou Kuroo
TO: fake family Have any of you ever once considered not prying
FROM: eita You deserve it
FROM: yuuji how can we not when ur in love!!
Kenma gets a text from an unknown number. He'd be lying if he said the guy behind it wasn't kind of endearing.
my notes: again, i love wrong number texts. it focuses more on kenma’s friendship, but kenma’s pov with texting kuroo is more than him realizing feelings and stuff. really cute, ive read it multiple times. 
Japan's most subscribed by NeverNothing
rating: T words: 3,631 chapters: 1/1
author summary: Kuroo Tetsurou @blacktetsurou changed his bio : volleyball player, co-owner of Bouncing Ball Corp. and so much more ;)
my notes: i! love! social media! fics!!! really cute and basically people wondering who the mysterious kuroo is to applepi. 
MATSUHANA!!! the underrated gem
texting (with a capital S) by parenthetic
rating: M words: 2,119 chapters: 1/1
author summary: Hanamaki breaks his No Texting In Class rule, and it's all downhill from there.
my notes: honestly more funny than it suggests, but its matsuhana, they’re meme lords.
rated m for by orphan_account
rated: T words: 10,692 chapters: 1/1
author summary: He should have known that there was a Specific Reason™ why it was so absolutely vital that he and Matsukawa specifically meet for a reading of the script. He should have known that there had to be some evil catch beyond sitting in a tiny, cramped studio with his newly sworn enemy.
Hanamaki stares at the title of the script he’d so gracefully neglected the night before.
FORBIDDEN PARADISE
“Excuse me,” Hanamaki starts, raising a pen in the air while staring blankly at the packet in his free hand. “Just to clarify, you want me to record a boy's love CD with Matsukawa?”
my notes: a very good voice actor au. there is some misunderstanding on hanamaki’s part bc he didnt finish listening to matsukawa, and this is really cute and i love matsuhana. 
In A Quiet Night, All Sounds Carry by levyovochka
rating: E words: 4,794 chapters: 1/1
authors summary: “Ah, ah, Too—!”
Hanamaki hates his university dorm.
“—ru, let me cum, please!”
Hold up. That’s a fucking understatement. Let him rephrase it: Hanamaki loathes his university dorm with passion. Detest the damned abomination, abhors it—
“—ru! Coming, coming—”
It has only been a month and Hanamaki already wants to die.
my notes: as u can guess minor iwaoi // rlly well written and bottom hanamaki rights and maybe my favourite matsuhana smutfic??? and hooh boy i simp for matsukawa
call me maybe by totooru
rating: T words: 33,689 chapters: 14/14
author summary: Hanamaki texts the wrong number when trying to extort tips out of Oikawa in order to defeat Iwaizumi in arm wrestling, and then continues to text the witty stranger who had answered.
my notes: minor iwaoi, daisuga, bokuaka // god i think this is my favourite matsuhana fic overall, maybe in general, but my god is it great. this is probably a common rec, but its understandable as to why it is. basically au where makki texts matsun (who goes to karasuno) instead of oikawa for tips to beat iwaizumi at an arm wrestling match. but they keep messaging. and holy shit i love their conversations. please read this, it is 256/10
there we go!! i might go a part two with more ships (kagehina, tsukkiyama and iwaoi) but this took up way to much time lol. i have an essay due in a couple hours. but hope u like these fics as much as i do!!
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mcatra · 5 years ago
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Catra works at Burger King pt 3
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catradora in ther modern party clothes!
AO3
pt1/2
Catra was currently studying in the library, trying to work her way through a math problem. 
Her place didn't have internet, so she usually alternated between the school wifi, the public library, and Burger King. Lonnie usually let her study in the break room when the libraries closed up. 
Her phone pings with a message, obviously from Adora. 
Catra picks up her phone and unlocks it, eyebrow raising when she sees the message. 
Adora: 
Wyd? 
Catra sighs. Of course that airheaded jock texted like a frat boy. As much as she wanted to leave her on read, a deal was a deal. 
Catra: 
Studying. 
Adora: 
So diligent! You're so cool, Catra :) 
Adora: 
I'm weightlifting right now! Gotta work off all those BK calories 💪
Great, maybe she will leave her alone to go do her workout. 
Adora: 
[image.attachment]
Catra almost drops her phone when she sees the photo Adora sent. It was a shot of her by the mirror, and she was flexing with a dumbbell. She was wearing a black crop top, which framed her abs perfectly.  What was she doing, getting flustered over what, a gym rat photo that looked like it belonged on a Tinder profile? After much gay panic and debate, Catra takes a photo of herself with her middle finger up to the camera. She taps ‘send’ angrily. 
Catra: 
[image.attachment] 🖕 She doesn't get a response for a few minutes, which was odd. Usually Adora typed back at the speed of lightning. 
Ping. 
Adora: 
wow Ur rlly hot  Catra looks at the text, slack jawed. What the hell? 
Adora: 
Oh my god I am so sorry. That was Glimmer, she took my phone. 
Catra could almost scream, but she was in a public library. She settles for furiously chewing her out, sharp nails flying over the keyboard. 
Catra: 
Plz make Ur excuses more believable. It's so unoriginal I can't even post this on r/OopsDidntMeanTo. 
Adora: 
I really didn't mean to 🥺
Adora: 
I mean 
Adora: 
Glimmer didn't mean to  God, Adora was so stupid. Yet here Catra was, blushing like a fool. When she doesn’t answer for a while, her phone starts pinging again with notifications. 
>Adora liked your photo
>Adora liked your status >Adora reacted to your comment >Adora liked your photo
It goes on for another 23 times and Catra scrolls through it, dumbfounded. Unblocking her was a mistake. 
---- 
As promised, Adora would visit her garage when her shifts were over bringing groceries. In exchange Catra would cook, as it seemed like Adora would burn water if she tried. 
It started off as a weekly thing, but in a true Adora-like fashion it ended up like this everyday. They would talk for hours, catching up on their lost years together. 
Adora talked about all sorts of things, like how hard it was adjusting to the soft beds at first and how she requested a hard one. She told her about the contents of the letters she would send to Catra that never went received. Catra just listened, gratified to hear that Adora missed her in their time apart even half as much as she did. 
They would sing the little songs they invented back when they were kids and make up whole new ones as they waited for the food. Adora even started learning how to cook after watching Catra, and she would barge in uninvited with new recipes. The food tasted better with company, and Adora took great pleasure in piling her seconds. 
Catra would show her the local dumpster and they would go scavenging for items they needed. She taught her how to repair the things they found using Youtube tutorials, and how to disinfect them. It was fun watching Adora try to haggle for prices at the market, or her face when she realized she had to use the outhouse to go to the bathroom at Catra’s. 
Days bleed into months, their easygoing friendship making Catra feel at peace for the first time in forever. 
Right now they were currently in their trial exam period, which functioned both as practice for their final exams and half of their final marks. They were sitting in the library, chatting about their future majors. 
Catra taps a pencil to her chin. ‘Let me guess, you want to do art. No, art history.’
‘Political science, actually! Did you know Eternia University has  the  number one ranked Political Science course in the entire country?' Adora says, flipping through the uni coursebook. 
'Wao, future leader of the free world huh? That's kinda hot.' Catra teases, while Adora swats her in embarrassment. 
'What about you?' 
'Double degree of Law and Social Work.' Catra replies. 'Cliche I know. But I just want to be in a position where I can sue the shit out of Shadow Weaver. The system is corrupt, and there's thousands of kids being abused.' 
'Wow, you're so cool Catra.' Adora says in awe. 'You're so smart, you'd definitely get in.' 
'Damn right.' She scoffs, crossing her arms. 
'You're gonna love Eternia. I went to their open day, the campus is gorgeous. Oh my gosh we could dorm together!' 
'Gross, who'd want to be  your  roommate?' 
'You  would.' 
'Ew, you're so full of yourself. Anyway get off me, I have work soon and I need to get changed.' 
'Ah yes, the cute Burger King apron. I never get tired of it.' 
They would always flirt back and forth like this, but nothing ever came out of it. 
With her friendship came the feelings that she had repressed long ago, unknotting and resurfacing like they had never gone at all. However she had no idea if Adora even liked her in that way, given how affectionate she was with Bow and Glimmer. She was popular with boys and girls alike, but she never dated anyone. Catra never dared to ask. 
Once Adora had fallen asleep in Catra's bed, and the brunette had woken up to the other girls arm around her and their feet tangled together. It reminded her of when they shared the bed as kids, but now they were grown up and this kind of thing didn't have an innocent meaning anymore. Having her there made her heart race and her palms sweaty.
She had wanted to kiss her then. She wanted to kiss her now. Catra wanted every single morning to end up like that. 
-- 
Adora:
Your birthday is soon! Did you want anything?
You  , Catra thinks, like a huge sap. 
Catra:
My sanity back. 
Adora: 
Oh my gosh, we could throw you a party at my place! You’re turning 18 right? We could go out drinking! Angella has this amazing vintage wine collection and I could make cocktails!  
Catra receives another wall of text, basically planning the entirety of this birthday party with Bow being the DJ and how Glimmer could make these buns that were to die for. Adora starts going through the entire party guest list until she has to cut in. 
Catra: 
lol calm down 
Adora: 
Does this mean Ur on board? 🎉
Catra: 
yes fine since you won't shut up about it 
Adora: 
AAAAAAAH YOU'RE THE BEST!!!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️ U WILL NOT REGRET THIS 
DW I WILL PLAN EVERYTHING <3333 
💗💖💖😻
The excessive amount of heart emojis make Catra grin dumbly into her palm. 
She's glad they're not video chatting, or Adora would've already taken a screenshot. 
---
It’s the day of her 18th birthday, and she’s nearing the end of her shift. The best friend squad were waiting for her at their usual table so they could give her a ride. 
‘Hey Catra. Can I speak to you out back?’ Lonnie asks, gesturing outside. 
What the heck, did she do something wrong?  It’s been pretty peaceful as of late, and Catra tries to remember if she had done anything to Kyle recently. She nods, chucking her apron at the back as she tries not to notice Adora’s eyes following her. 
 Catra goes out to the back of the store, the night air nipping at her shoulders. Lonnie waits for her there, biting her lip.
‘What’s up? Don’t tell me you’re giving me a raise.’ Catra jokes. 
Lonnie looks conflicted, and she takes a big breath. 
‘I’m sorry but our store isn’t doing so well. I know you’re turning 18, and that means we can’t afford to keep you on anymore.’
‘What…?’ 
Catra felt numb, like she wasn’t really there in the back alley with Lonnie. It felt like an out of body experience. She could only stare at her, betrayed. 
Like Lonnie could read her mind, she tries to correct herself. ‘It wasn’t my decision, it was Octavia’s.’
Of course it was. Her regional manager was the reason she could never just swipe food while she was working. Octavia never liked her, she always reviewed the security cameras and told her off for goofing around. She must’ve known the door incident was on Catra’s shift, and what really happened despite Adora’s cover up. This ‘layoff’ was just an excuse to get rid of her from a financial standpoint. 
‘Thank you for all your hard work over these past 3 years. I know you’re going through a rough time, so we will of course give you a recommendation.’
Catra just nods. 
She returns to her shift, robotically going through the motions. Catra doesn’t even say anything sassy when Adora asks for a burger with no patty and no onions and no sauce, only cheese on bread.
The lack of a clever comeback to their gag routine has Adora concerned. ‘Are you okay?’ 
Of course she wasn’t. How could she be? She was going to have to vacate her garage space, not like she had anywhere to put her furniture in. What the hell was she going to do? 
‘I’m fine.’ She says, even though tears were threatening to burn a hole in the back of her eyelids. ‘Just...rough day.’ 
‘It’s your birthday! The party will cheer you up.’ Bow says brightly. ‘I have the sickest playlist of all time, you're gonna love it.' 
'My mum isn’t home so we have free reign over the entire house! Come on girl, let's get you changed!' Glimmer crows, too excited about the party to pick up on Catra's mood. 'Makeover time!!' 
The two of them force her into Glimmer's Mercedes, on their way to buy every alcohol imaginable from the bottle shop before they go to her house. 
The last thing Catra wanted to do was play dress up or even go to her party, but Adora had planned for so long for this. It would definitely ruin the entire night if she refused to go. 
Out of all the times they had hung out, she’s never been to Adora’s house. She leans her head against the window when they drive into the fancy part of town, by the lakeside with the multi-million dollar yachts parked in the water. 
That still doesn't prepare Catra for when security lets them in through the black gates to the biggest mansion she’s ever seen. There were fountains, perfectly manicured lawns, a tennis court, and was that  a helicopter pad?! 
It was incredible, she had only seen this kind of luxury in the movies. So Glimmer was rich , rich. No wonder she was put out that Adora had her 18th birthday at Burger King. 
Catra looks at Adora with a dumbfounded expression as the attendants let them in, and the blonde looks almost embarrassed when they have to get into an elevator to go to her room. 
Glimmer picks out a hybrid of clothes from her and Adora's closets. The walk-in wardrobe is huge, like a department store full of designer clothes, shoes, jewellery and bags. 
Her wardrobe alone is the size of Catra's home. The brunette suddenly understands why Adora cried upon seeing her concrete garage space. Looking at it, she wanted to cry too. 
Glimmer sets her down on her huge poster bed as she brings out a checkered crop top, ripped black garter shorts and an expensive looking black leather jacket with a gold trim. While Catra reluctantly gets changed, Glimmer picks out a pair of black strappy heeled boots and a hair straightener to battle the bush on Catra’s head. 
She sits still while Glimmer goes to work on her face, bringing out an entire Sephora’s worth of makeup. When Catra looks in the vanity mirror, she almost doesn’t recognize herself. Her eyes were framed with false eyelashes, a swooping cateye, smokey eyeshadow, sharp contour and her lips were now cherry red with bold lipstick. Glimmer applies the finishing touches with silver rings and clip on piercings. 
She hears Adora inhale with shock from the staircase in her bedroom. 
‘Catra you look incredible !’ She gasps. Adora was wearing this cute backless white dress tied with strings, short enough that it cropped above her knees. She was wearing sparkly wedges to go with it, and her hair was curled instead of her usual ponytail. Her delicate gold sword necklace frames her collarbones. 
Catra’s throat goes dry. ‘Uh- You too.’ 
 Glimmer smirks, satisfied with her work. She gets changed into her own outfit, a short purple tulle lace dress with a white fur trim and a cute Gucci clutch to accompany it. The pink haired girl spritzes them all with her various floral and sea spray scented perfumes before they head back downstairs.
‘Wow you guys look amazing!’ Scorpia marvels, and Adora’s friends voice their approval as well. 
‘Gosh this place is crazy.’ Scorpia whispers to Catra. ‘Did you see their pool? We should’ve just held the swimming carnival here!’ 
Catra opens her mouth to tell her how Lonnie had let her go, but Sea Hawk’s booming voice interrupts them. 
'I challenge you to the ultimate game of BEER PONG!' Sea Hawk announces, spinning the ball on his fingertips. 
Of course this gets everyone's competitive spirit going, and everyone gets into pairs. 
After a few drinks Catra has almost forgotten what she was worrying about earlier, too focused on the buzz. Her and Adora demolish the other teams by a landslide with their impeccable aim. 
Soon the attendants came out with dinner, and it was lavish with every food you could imagine. Lobster, kobe beef, hor d'oeuvres, beluga caviar, kale, and opulent ice cream were all among the plates of food on the table. They bring out a massive 3 tiered truffle cake, the words 'Happy Birthday' written with an oddly crude drawing of Catra. 
'You drew this?' She asks, and Adora nods happily. 'You worked so hard on mine, so.' Catra doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the cake was $7 and the drawing of her forehead was meant as an insult.  They sing the birthday song for her, and this time no one brings up the cake cutting tradition. 
 After dinner they sit outside in the garden around the bonfire Sea Hawk had made. He was drunkenly singing a loud shanty while Bow piled in the wood, fanning the flames. Frosta sips on a mocktail, the only one there who wasn’t old enough to drink yet. The fire flickers and dances, casting shadows around them. 
Catra downs a few more cocktails and jello shots as she waits for Mermista to light up some fireworks. Apparently it was illegal, but Mermista just waved her off, telling her that she’ll just pay the penalty fee as Catra’s birthday gift. Sea Hawk really did rub off on her. 
When she successfully sets them off they light up the sky in dazzling multicoloured sparks. Adora’s friends whoop with glee, taking photos and videos to commemorate the moment. 
Adora's side profile is lit up in the dark, and she looks impossibly beautiful among the backdrop of stars. Longing tears at her chest, Catra wants to hold her hand but her throat feels too tight and she can’t move. The truth was that she knew she had always had feelings for Adora, even back when they were just kids back in the foster home. But like a coward, she could never voice them for fear of Adora leaving her side. 
A loud neighing can be heard from the stables in response to the loud booming noises from the fireworks. 
'Swifty!' Adora says, standing up. The moment's breaks and Catra reels back her hand. 'Stay here, I'll be right back.' 
Her chance disappears, she couldn’t say it after all. She watches her go tend to her horse, feeling stupid. 
‘Yoohoo~, want a rematch?’ Sea Hawk calls out from the patio, pouring vodka into tiny glasses. 
‘Don’t mind if I do.’ Catra replies. She definitely didn’t know her alcohol tolerance levels yet, so it was the perfect time to take that to the test. 
Catra confidently does a whole line of shots, determined to drink herself into unconsciousness. Every time she sees a flash of Lonnie or Adora’s face in her mind, she takes another swig. Everyone is cheering her on, screaming the song ‘Shots’ over and over again, also all drunk out of their minds. Sea Hawk taps out at the 5th drink, and everyone screams at Catra’s flawless victory. Scorpia lifts her into the air to do a victory lap, cheering. 
Adora finally makes an appearance, alerted by the sound of Catra's shrieky laughter as Scorpia swings her around. 
‘Don’t worry, I can take it from here.’ Her school captain says pulling Catra away from her friend. Scorpia just shrugs and makes her way to the food table. ‘Catra, maybe you should slow down.’ Adora tells the giggling girl in her arms. 
‘Noo way.’ She slurs, she was enjoying the feeling too much, the alcohol burning through her body, making her feel lightheaded. The light up disco dancefloor starts to blur into a kaleidoscope of colours. 
‘You got some weed?’ Catra asks, seeing Perfuma light a bowl. The taller girl hands her an already rolled up one and Catra snatches it to take a long drag. The smoke hits her lungs and she starts coughing. 
‘Oi Perfuma, why did you bring drugs? Angella will kill me!' Adora gripes, trying to wrestle the blunt away from Catra. 
‘Aw don't be like that! I made some edibles for you guys to try.’ Perfuma says cheerfully, pointing to the pot brownies. 
‘See? Scorpia likes them.’ She gestures at the other girl, who seemed to be currently tripping out of her mind and eating everything on the table. 
Catra goes to reach for one, but Adora grabs her by the wrist to lead her back inside. 'Alright, you're done for the night. Everyone say bye!' 
‘Byee Catra!’
‘Happy birthday!!’
Adora grabs her by the waist to lead her to her bedroom, Catra wobbling after her in the heels Glimmer lent her. 
'Ugh Adoraaa, don't be such a party pooper. I'm fine.' She moans, leaning heavily on the other girl. 'Don't you have a shift tomorrow afternoon? I don't want you getting hungover or drug tested.' Adora chides, rummaging around the dark for the light switch. 
Catra snorts. 'Oh you don't have to worry about  that  anymore. Got laid off.' 
Adora looks at her in confusion, until realization dawns on her. 'Wait, is that why Lonnie took you outside?' 
'Say, I never got to give you  your  birthday gift.' Catra pushes her hair back, voice sultry as she flings off her jacket. She never pinned herself down as a horny drunk, but here they were. Catra shoves Adora onto the bed, straddling her. Her golden hair spills over the mattress, soft like spun silk. 
'You still want that kiss?' Catra whispers in Adora's now burning red ear. 'My knife touched the bottom.' 
Adora's face now resembled a fire truck, mouth gaping in shock.
'C-Catra, I…' 
Catra presses their lips together, silencing her. She knows she probably tastes like alcohol and weed right now, but she couldn't care less in the moment. Adora's mouth is still slack jawed from mortification, so she takes the opportunity for tongue. She frowns and moves down to her neck when Adora doesn’t return the kiss. 
'Catra, what are you doing-' 
Catra bites down on Adora's nape. The blonde underneath her lets out a soft gasp, arching her back. Her gold manicured nails dig into her shoulder. 
'Stop, you're not thinking straight-!' 
'Sure ain't.' Catra grins, licking a stripe down the base of her neck. Adora’s necklace chain jingles with the movement. There was now an impressive hickey there, blooming violet on her pale skin. She pauses to admire her handiwork. 
'This isn't you talking, you'll, you'll regret this in the morning.' Adora stutters. She's shivering, their hands now laced together, silver rings clanking. 
'I know. I don't care.' She replies, kissing her again. Adora's teeth nick her lip. The alcohol in her system makes her feel lightheaded, confident. No way would she have managed this sober. Adora tastes better than she does, sweet like blueberry soju. Catra's hands wander down further, pulling the strings to untie the back of her dress-
'Catra stop!'  Adora suddenly shouts, striking Catra across the cheek in a deafening  slap . 
Adora's eyes were blazing, almost teary in the dark. Her breathing was irregular, panting in and out. Catra stills, clutching her cheek. The look in her eyes sobered her immediately. 
Adora looks down at her palm, realizing what she just did. 'Sorry for hitting you!' She flounders. 'It's just that, you're only doing this because you’re drunk and upset, right?’
Catra just stares at her before climbing off. Cold realization settles as the fog in her brain clears. 'You're right. Forget it.' 
She sits on the edge of the bed, numbly watching Adora hurriedly trying to re-tie the back of her now wrinkled dress. Her lips are stained with Catra’s red lipstick. Adora catches her looking, and she quickly turns away to smooth down her hair with her fingers. 'You've had more than enough to drink tonight. I’ll get you some water to clear your head.’
She gets up to turn on the light switch, and Catra blinks in the harsh light from the chandeliers.  ‘Come on, let’s get you sobered up, okay?’ Adora leads her to the kitchen on the same floor, gingerly placing her friend on the slippery bar stool. 
The blonde goes to get the chilled jug of infused water from the fridge and pours it into a glass. Adora slides it across the island, and Catra reluctantly takes it. She sips at it, mint and lemon on her tongue. It tasted way better than her hose water. 
‘I’ll uh, pick out some groceries for you since we’re here and all.’ Adora says awkwardly into the silence, turning around to rummage through her pantry. 
Suddenly Catra is brought back to the whole reason why she was sitting here in this oversized mansion in the first place. Their friendship agreement. The one she had just violated. Catra had never felt more stupid to mistake Adora’s kindness and guilt for actual feelings. She felt like a charity case, waiting to collect food from the soup kitchen.
Of course Adora didn't like her back. She just saw her as someone needing to be saved. The product of survival guilt. Catra wanted to whack her head on the corner of her marbled countertop and not wake up. 
Adora takes out a green plastic bag, and starts filling it with everything and anything she can get. Cans, pasta, biscuits, fruits and vegetables. Actually this feeling was more like being one of those poor kids that white girls would pose next to for their Instagram after their trip to Africa.  Did Adora have fun, volunteering to slum it up in her place while she returned here? All she ever wanted her entire life was to be Adora’s equal. 
Scorpia and Sea Hawk's loud laughter and DJ music can be heard downstairs in the garden, beyond the tall golden trimmed windows. The class difference between them stretched like an unfathomable canyon. Living the classy bougie dream until the clock struck midnight and she was back in her run down garage. Except soon she won’t even have that anymore. Why did Adora have to bring her here? It was almost cruel. 
Catra's suddenly overcome with the urge to vomit. She nearly falls off the high chair in her rush to throw up the unholy cocktail of alcohol into the sink. Tears bead in her eyes from the sour taste as she continues to vomit out everything she ate that night. She can feel Adora by her side, patting her back reassuringly.
It was by far the worst birthday she has ever had. 
 --
The morning of, Catra woke up in Adora’s bed with a splitting headache. 
Unfortunately she was  not given the gift of amnesia, as she vividly remembered every last excruciating detail about last night. 
She spots Adora’s mop of blonde hair under a blanket on the floor, even though there were a billion other free spare rooms to sleep in. Adora was probably too afraid to share the same bed as her now.
Catra’s borrowed crop top digs uncomfortably into her skin, and she angrily flings it off her body. The shorts stick to her like a second skin, smelling of tequila. She grabs her old Burger King uniform and puts it on, though even this didn’t belong to her now. 
Adora shifts in her sleep, and Catra lightly steps over her to get to the door. The last thing she wanted was for Adora to wake up. 
As soon as she’s out, she runs out to the elevator and bangs frantically on the buttons until it sends her to the bottom floor. The lift opens with a  ding  and in her haste she almost crashes headfirst into Glimmer. 
‘Oh hey! Are you going to work?’ Glimmer greets. She was in her silk pajamas and slippers, holding a glass of orange juice. 
‘Uh. Yeah.’ Catra lies, trying her best to look natural. 
‘Some party last night huh? Lucky today is a Saturday.’ Glimmer says conversationally, unaware of Catra’s urge to throw her across the room. ‘Hey, what happened to your cheek?’
Catra clutches her face, it still strung from where Adora struck her. ‘Nothing.’
Glimmer raises an eyebrow. ‘Well anyway, did you wanna stick around for  breakfast? The cooks made pancakes, bacon, eggs, the whole deal.' She peeks behind Catra. 'Is Adora  still  not up yet?’ 
As much as Catra wanted to scream  get out of my way she schools her expression to her best customer service smile. ‘Nope she’s still sleeping it off. Anyway I’m gonna be late so I can’t stick around.’
‘Did you need a lift?’ Glimmer asks. It dawns on the brunette she couldn’t exactly run the entire way back home. ‘I’ll ask one of the drivers to take you back so you make it to your shift.’
Catra thanks her lucky stars that Glimmer was still too hungover to drive her. She wouldn’t have been able to dodge her questions if she had. 
‘Yes please.’ Catra says, giddy with relief. ‘Thank you.’ 
‘Ooh and before I forget, Adora told me last night to give you this.’ Glimmer says, grabbing the green bag of groceries off the counter. The shorter girl bundles it into Catra’s arms before she can object. 
‘Get home safe.’ She says, waving as the attendant leads her out the door. 
Catra looks down at the cans of food in her arms and doesn’t say anything.  
 ------
The days leading up to graduation were painful, to say the least. 
They more or less pretend the kiss didn't happen. Adora never brings it up, and neither does Catra. 
She would stare at the ceiling, wishing she had never gotten piss drunk at her birthday and kissed her. Adora was right, she did regret it. It was awful, the look on Adora's face when she slapped Catra replays in her mind and nightmares over and over again. It was mortifying. 
Adora still messages her every 3 days, and Catra still replies, though her words are empty and devoid of banter.  I'm worried about you,  she says.  I'm fine , Catra always responds. 
The brunette continues to humour her to keep the peace, only shutting down when her old job was mentioned. Catra doesn’t allow Adora back into her home again. 
Sometimes they study together, but she can't concentrate when Adora wears her glasses. Her heart hurts, so she cradles her cheek and tries not to remember. 
The hickey she had branded Adora's neck with had been covered with foundation until it faded away. None of her friends had teased her about it, so she clearly had not told a single soul what had happened. 
Catra bites at the scab on her lip from where Adora’s teeth nicked her until it bleeds. She wants to apologize, but the words stick on her tongue and she can't bring herself to talk about that night. 
Catra knew Adora was only here by her side to alleviate her guilt. Shame buries itself under her skin every time she's near her, like she was too embarrassed to even exist in the same space as Adora. She wants to disappear. 
Exams are hard, and without an internet connection after the library closes at 6pm made it difficult to study. In her heart she knew she wasn't going to come out on top. Her ranking had slipped, she wasn't even at second place anymore. Rent was due at the end of the month, and without her Burger King wage she knew she'll be kicked out sooner than later. 
Catra felt stressed and self destructive, and the only thing that kept her from falling off the edge completely was Scorpia. As much as she hated depending on others, she'd much rather her old coworker than Adora. 
Her classmates seemed to like this new, muted down version of Catra who didn't argue and just stayed quiet most of the time. Fighting back was too difficult when all she wanted to do was blend into the wallpaper. All they talked about was where they were going for vacation after graduation, and Catra certainly had nothing to contribute to that conversation.
She felt like crying, all the time. It was agony, wanting to burst out into tears randomly while she sat wasting away in the student council room. Despite herself, she missed Burger King, and she just kept getting ghosted or rejected in her other job applications. Sometimes when she really wanted to indulge herself, she'd go cry silently in the school toilet stall. 
Glimmer notices the change, and she catches her glaring. 'You don't seem as alive lately. Your eye bags are huge.' 
'S'fine.' Catra replies, hiding her hands so she doesn't see how they shake. Honestly Catra couldn't remember the last time she slept.
'Pfft, don't lie to me. Adora's worried about you. You're getting skinnier, and your eyes are always raw. All you do is stare into space.' 
Catra bites down on her nails. Of course she knew that. But she's gone through this before, and she'll do it again. 
'What happened between you two?’ 
‘None of your business.’ Catra replies, shuffling her way to the hall. 
--
 Their graduation ceremony starts off uneventfully. Every student’s parents except Catra’s sit proudly in the audience, eager to watch their kid graduate. One by one they receive their certificate and return to their seats. 
Adora and Catra stand side by side onstage, as Adora makes their final speech as School Captain. Through the blinding lights, she sees Angella waving proudly at her adoptive daughter in the crowd. 
Catra looks at Adora in the corner of her eye. She must look pathetic, lovesick and pining after someone she couldn’t have. 
‘It’s been such an honour serving the entire faculty and students of this school. I couldn’t have done it without my amazing Vice-Captain and all of my prefects. Now I’m proud to hand over my badge to the next School Captain, Frosta.’ 
They go through the rest of the ceremony like that, each member of the student council handing their badges to their successors. 
Soon their Principal comes up to the podium, tapping it once and clearing her throat. 
‘Announcing our honor student, and the winner of the scholarship to Eternia University…’ Castaspella says, turning over the sign card. 
‘None other than our school captain, Adora!’
Everyone starts clapping, and Adora walks across the stage to shake Castaspella's hand. 
Sounded about right. Catra never won against Adora in her entire life. She had already expected this outcome. Like a game of cat and mouse, going over and over for all eternity. 
Adora would excel with her elite education and secure a well paying job. Catra would struggle at the bottom indefinitely, never amounting to anything. She never would, if Adora was still there next to her. When the blonde re-entered her life, everything she had been working towards for years just collapsed. Her job, her home, her School Captain status, her chance at the scholarship, her sanity. 
She had to be wiped clean. A fresh start. 
The flower petals were falling, the streets decorated with a vibrant pink. The other students mill out of the crowd with their parents, chatting excitedly about what was next in their futures. She waits for Adora underneath a tree.  
'Congratulations.' Catra says, when she finally spots the other girl in the crowd. Adora pulls away from Angella’s embrace to meet her. 
'You deserve this so much more than I do.' Adora says, her voice pained like she didn't just win a full ride to her dream university. 'You should take it.'
'It's in your name, silly.' Catra replies, lightly tapping her with her rolled up certificate.
'Besides, I knew you'd get into Eternia, so I never applied.'
Adora blinks dumbly. '...What? Aren’t we going to the same university?’ 
She always was a bit slow on the uptake. ‘Only  you  decided that, stuupid. Say, it's about time we ended this right?' 
‘Catra, what are you...' 
'Our deal. You don't need to feel guilty anymore or bring me anything.' Catra says, her voice sounding like it didn't belong to her. She rummages in her bag, bringing out Adora's spare varsity jacket that she hadn’t returned. 'Here, take this. Thank you for all the help.' 
'What do you mean? You want to stop being friends?' Adora says in disbelief, taking the jacket.  
Catra nods. ‘I can’t continue with the arrangement. I hope you understand.’ 
‘I don’t! Was I the only one who thought we were friends, real ones?’ Adora asks.
‘...That’s right. I never saw you as a friend. You were just a meal ticket to me. Are you happy now?’ Catra snaps back. Shit, that wasn’t what she meant to say. She had planned to end this quickly and painlessly, on a high note.  Trust Adora to put up a fight. 
Something seems to click in Adora’s brain. ‘Is this about the night of the party?’
‘Figure that out yourself.’ Catra replies, turning to walk away. 
Adora grabs onto her arm. ‘Wait! If- if that’s what you want, I’ll give it! Just don't go!' 
This dumb blonde really was offering up her body, out of what? A sense of duty? How stupid. 
‘Is that right?’ Catra says, walking closer to her. Adora backs up until she is pinned to the tree. They’re face to face now. 
‘Can you really do this?’ Catra lifts Adora’s chin by a finger. 
Finally it seems to dawn on Adora exactly what Catra wanted. She swallows, biting her lip. 
There’s a flicker of hesitation, before Adora’s eyes squeeze shut defiantly. The blonde is shaking like a leaf, her breath coming out in panicked stutters from her pursed lips. 
Catra just stares at Adora’s scrunched up face impassively. Her scared reaction was the only confirmation she needed for closure. 
She flicks the other girl’s forehead, and her big blue eyes open in confusion. ‘Chill out, I’m not that evil to do it to someone so unwilling.’
 Adora blinks, clutching her forehead. ‘Catra?’
Suddenly Angella’s voice cuts through their conversation from the car park. ‘Adora dear, are you done chatting with your friend? We have reservations!'
‘Um, I…’ Her old school captain opens her mouth to say something, but Angella's started to lose her patience. 'Adora, how long are you going to stand there? Glimmer is already waiting for us at the restaurant!' 
Catra just smiles tiredly. ‘Take care, dummy.’ 
She watches Adora being dragged off unwillingly by her adoptive mother to the car. 
Catra lets out a sigh. Her phone pings with a message from Scorpia, and she knows it's time to go. 
---
 By the time Angella releases her from their graduation celebration, Adora can feel that it's already too late.
 Adora: 
Please, can we talk? Let me fix this
A pop up appears over the screen. 
Message Not Sent
This person isn't receiving messages at this time. 
Adora sends another message, but they all go undelivered. Catra had blocked her again. Panic spikes through her veins, and she quickly dons on a jacket and grabs her car keys. 
She sneaks out that night, down the familiar winding path through the bush that led to Catra's place. 
'Catra?' She rolls up the garage door, blinking in the darkness. When her eyes adjusted, she found Catra's old home completely emptied. 
All the furniture and items her friend had collected over the years, they were all gone. The little stove where they cooked, the old mattress where they talked late into the night, all vanished like they were never there. 
A single green plastic bag remained on the floor untouched, filled to the brim of food. 
     catra working at BK fanart: 
https://twitter.com/huetrooper/status/1265188930741080064
https://twitter.com/quackelroys/status/1271199987540668416?s=20
https://mcatra.tumblr.com/post/620493235561824256/your-catra-works-at-burger-king-fic-is-great-you
 pt1, pt 2
Catra was currently studying in the library, trying to work her way through a math problem. 
Her place didn't have internet, so she usually alternated between the school wifi, the public library, and Burger King. Lonnie usually let her study in the break room when the libraries closed up. 
Her phone pings with a message, obviously from Adora. 
Catra picks up her phone and unlocks it, eyebrow raising when she sees the message. 
Adora: 
Wyd? 
Catra sighs. Of course that airheaded jock texted like a frat boy. As much as she wanted to leave her on read, a deal was a deal. 
Catra: 
Studying. 
Adora: 
So diligent! You're so cool, Catra :) 
Adora: 
I'm weightlifting right now! Gotta work off all those BK calories 💪
Great, maybe she will leave her alone to go do her workout. 
Adora: 
[image.attachment]
Catra almost drops her phone when she sees the photo Adora sent. It was a shot of her by the mirror, and she was flexing with a dumbbell. She was wearing a black crop top, which framed her abs perfectly. 
What was she doing, getting flustered over what, a gym rat photo that looked like it belonged on a Tinder profile? 
After much gay panic and debate, Catra takes a photo of herself with her middle finger up to the camera. She taps ‘send’ angrily. 
Catra: 
[image.attachment] 🖕
She doesn't get a response for a few minutes, which was odd. Usually Adora typed back at the speed of lightning. 
Ping. 
Adora: 
wow Ur rlly hot 
Catra looks at the text, slack jawed. What the hell? 
Adora: 
Oh my god I am so sorry. That was Glimmer, she took my phone. 
Catra could almost scream, but she was in a public library. She settles for furiously chewing her out, sharp nails flying over the keyboard. 
Catra: 
Plz make Ur excuses more believable. It's so unoriginal I can't even post this on r/OopsDidntMeanTo. 
Adora: 
I really didn't mean to 🥺
Adora: 
I mean 
Adora: 
Glimmer didn't mean to 
God, Adora was so stupid. Yet here Catra was, blushing like a fool. When she doesn’t answer for a while, her phone starts pinging again with notifications. 
>Adora liked your photo
>Adora liked your status >Adora reacted to your comment >Adora liked your photo
It goes on for another 23 times and Catra scrolls through it, dumbfounded. Unblocking her was  a mistake. 
---- 
As promised, Adora would visit her garage when her shifts were over bringing groceries. In exchange Catra would cook, as it seemed like Adora would burn water if she tried. 
It started off as a weekly thing, but in a true Adora-like fashion it ended up like this everyday. They would talk for hours, catching up on their lost years together. 
Adora talked about all sorts of things, like how hard it was adjusting to the soft beds at first and how she requested a hard one. She told her about the contents of the letters she would send to Catra that never went received. Catra just listened, gratified to hear that Adora missed her in their time apart even half as much as she did. 
They would sing the little songs they invented back when they were kids and make up whole new ones as they waited for the food. Adora even started learning how to cook after watching Catra, and she would barge in uninvited with new recipes. The food tasted better with company, and Adora took great pleasure in piling her seconds. 
Catra would show her the local dumpster and they would go scavenging for items they needed. She taught her how to repair the things they found using Youtube tutorials, and how to disinfect them. It was fun watching Adora try to haggle for prices at the market, or her face when she realized she had to use the outhouse to go to the bathroom at Catra’s. 
Days bleed into months, their easygoing friendship making Catra feel at peace for the first time in forever. 
Right now they were currently in their trial exam period, which functioned both as practice for their final exams and half of their final marks. They were sitting in the library, chatting about their future majors. 
Catra taps a pencil to her chin. ‘Let me guess, you want to do art. No, art history.’
‘Political science, actually! Did you know Eternia University has the number one ranked Political Science course in the entire country?' Adora says, flipping through the uni coursebook. 
'Wao, future leader of the free world huh? That's kinda hot.' Catra teases, while Adora swats her in embarrassment. 
'What about you?' 
'Double degree of Law and Social Work.' Catra replies. 'Cliche I know. But I just want to be in a position where I can sue the shit out of Shadow Weaver. The system is corrupt, and there's thousands of kids being abused.' 
'Wow, you're so cool Catra.' Adora says in awe. 'You're so smart, you'd definitely get in.' 
'Damn right.' She scoffs, crossing her arms. 
'You're gonna love Eternia. I went to their open day, the campus is gorgeous. Oh my gosh we could dorm together!' 
'Gross, who'd want to be your roommate?' 
'You would.' 
'Ew, you're so full of yourself. Anyway get off me, I have work soon and I need to get changed.' 
'Ah yes, the cute Burger King apron. I never get tired of it.' 
They would always flirt back and forth like this, but nothing ever came out of it. 
With her friendship came the feelings that she had repressed long ago, unknotting and resurfacing like they had never gone at all. However she had no idea if Adora even liked her in that way, given how affectionate she was with Bow and Glimmer. She was popular with boys and girls alike, but she never dated anyone. Catra never dared to ask. 
Once Adora had fallen asleep in Catra's bed, and the brunette had woken up to the other girls arm around her and their feet tangled together. It reminded her of when they shared the bed as kids, but now they were grown up and this kind of thing didn't have an innocent meaning anymore. Having her there made her heart race and her palms sweaty.
She had wanted to kiss her then. She wanted to kiss her now. Catra wanted every single morning to end up like that. 
-- 
Adora:
Your birthday is soon! Did you want anything?
You, Catra thinks, like a huge sap. 
Catra:
My sanity back. 
Adora: 
Oh my gosh, we could throw you a party at my place! You’re turning 18 right? We could go out drinking! Angella has this amazing vintage wine collection and I could make cocktails!  
Catra receives another wall of text, basically planning the entirety of this birthday party with Bow being the DJ and how Glimmer could make these buns that were to die for. Adora starts going through the entire party guest list until she has to cut in. 
Catra: 
lol calm down 
Adora: 
Does this mean Ur on board? 🎉
Catra: 
yes fine since you won't shut up about it 
Adora: 
AAAAAAAH YOU'RE THE BEST!!!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️ U WILL NOT REGRET THIS 
DW I WILL PLAN EVERYTHING <3333 
💗💖💖😻
The excessive amount of heart emojis make Catra grin dumbly into her palm. 
She's glad they're not video chatting, or Adora would've already taken a screenshot. 
---
It’s the day of her 18th birthday, and she’s nearing the end of her shift. The best friend squad were waiting for her at their usual table so they could give her a ride. 
‘Hey Catra. Can I speak to you out back?’ Lonnie asks, gesturing outside. 
What the heck, did she do something wrong? It’s been pretty peaceful as of late, and Catra tries to remember if she had done anything to Kyle recently. She nods, chucking her apron at the back as she tries not to notice Adora’s eyes following her. 
Catra goes out to the back of the store, the night air nipping at her shoulders. Lonnie waits for her there, biting her lip.
‘What’s up? Don’t tell me you’re giving me a raise.’ Catra jokes. 
Lonnie looks conflicted, and she takes a big breath. 
‘I’m sorry but our store isn’t doing so well. I know you’re turning 18, and that means we can’t afford to keep you on anymore.’
‘What…’ 
Catra felt numb, like she wasn’t really there in the back alley with Lonnie. It felt like an out of body experience. She could only stare at her, betrayed. 
Like Lonnie could read her mind, she tries to correct herself. ‘It wasn’t my decision, it was Octavia’s.’
Of course it was. Her regional manager was the reason she could never just swipe food while she was working. Octavia never liked her, she always reviewed the security cameras and told her off for goofing around. She must’ve known the door incident was on Catra’s shift, and what really happened despite Adora’s cover up. This ‘layoff’ was just an excuse to get rid of her from a financial standpoint. 
‘Thank you for all your hard work over these past 3 years. I know you’re going through a rough time, so we will of course give you a recommendation.’
Catra just nods. 
She returns to her shift, robotically going through the motions. Catra doesn’t even say anything sassy when Adora asks for a burger with no patty and no onions and no sauce, only cheese on bread.
The lack of a clever comeback to their gag routine has Adora concerned. ‘Are you okay?’ 
Of course she wasn’t. How could she be? She was going to have to vacate her garage space, not like she had anywhere to put her furniture in. What the hell was she going to do? 
‘I’m fine.’ She says, even though tears were threatening to burn a hole in the back of her eyelids. ‘Just...rough day.’ 
‘It’s your birthday! The party will cheer you up.’ Bow says brightly. ‘I have the sickest playlist of all time, you're gonna love it.' 
'My mum isn’t home so we have free reign over the entire house! Come on girl, let's get you changed!' Glimmer crows, too excited about the party to pick up on Catra's mood. 'Makeover time!!' 
The two of them force her into Glimmer's Mercedes, on their way to buy every alcohol imaginable from the bottle shop before they go to her house. 
The last thing Catra wanted to do was play dress up or even go to her party, but Adora had planned for so long for this. It would definitely ruin the entire night if she refused to go. 
Out of all the times they had hung out, she’s never been to Adora’s house. She leans her head against the window when they drive into the fancy part of town, by the lakeside with the multi-million dollar yachts parked in the water. 
That still doesn't prepare Catra for when security lets them in through the black gates to the biggest mansion she’s ever seen. There were fountains, perfectly manicured lawns, a tennis court, and was that a helicopter pad?! 
It was incredible, Catra could only walk in a daze with her jaw dropped on their polished marble floors. So Glimmer was rich, rich. No wonder she was put out that Adora had her 18th birthday at Burger King. 
Catra looks at Adora with a dumbfounded expression, and the blonde looks almost embarrassed when they have to get into an elevator to go to her room. 
Glimmer picks out a hybrid of clothes from her and Adora's closets. The walk-in wardrobe is huge, like a department store full of designer clothes, shoes, jewellery and bags. 
Her wardrobe alone is the size of Catra's home. The brunette suddenly understands why Adora cried upon seeing her concrete garage space. Looking at it, she wanted to cry too. 
Glimmer sets her down on her huge poster bed as she brings out a checkered crop top, ripped black garter shorts and an expensive looking black leather jacket with a gold trim. While Catra reluctantly gets changed, Glimmer picks out a pair of black strappy heeled boots and a hair straightener to battle the bush on Catra’s head. 
She sits still while Glimmer goes to work on her face, bringing out an entire Sephora’s worth of makeup. When Catra looks in the vanity mirror, she almost doesn’t recognize herself. Her eyes were framed with false eyelashes, a swooping cateye, smokey eyeshadow, sharp contour and her lips were now cherry red with bold lipstick. Glimmer applies the finishing touches with silver rings and clip on piercings. 
She hears Adora inhale with shock from the staircase in her bedroom. 
‘Catra you look incredible!’ She gasps. Adora was wearing this cute backless white dress tied with strings, short enough that it cropped above her knees. She was wearing sparkly wedges to go with it, and her hair was curled instead of her usual ponytail. Her delicate gold sword necklace frames her collarbones. 
Catra’s throat goes dry. ‘Uh- You too.’ 
Glimmer smirks, satisfied with her work. She gets changed into her own outfit, a short purple tulle lace dress with a white fur trim and a cute Gucci clutch to accompany it. The pink haired girl spritzes them all with her various floral and sea spray scented perfumes before they head back downstairs.
‘Wow you guys look amazing!’ Scorpia marvels, and Adora’s friends voice their approval as well.
‘Gosh this place is crazy.’ Scorpia whispers to Catra. ‘Did you see their pool? We should’ve just held the swimming carnival here!’ 
Catra opens her mouth to tell her how Lonnie had let her go, but Sea Hawk’s booming voice interrupts them. 
'I challenge you to the ultimate game of BEER PONG!' Sea Hawk announces, spinning the ball on his fingertips. 
Of course this gets everyone's competitive spirit going, and everyone gets into pairs. 
After a few drinks Catra has almost forgotten what she was worrying about earlier, too focused on the buzz. Her and Adora demolish the other teams by a landslide with their impeccable aim. 
Soon the attendants came out with dinner, and it was lavish with every food you could imagine. Lobster, kobe beef, hor d'oeuvres, beluga caviar, kale, and opulent ice cream were all among the plates of food on the table.
They bring out a massive 3 tiered truffle cake, the words 'Happy Birthday' written with an oddly crude drawing of Catra. 
'You drew this?' She asks, and Adora nods happily. 'You worked so hard on mine, so.' Catra doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the cake was $7 and the drawing of her forehead was meant as an insult. 
They sing the birthday song for her, and this time no one brings up the cake cutting tradition. 
After dinner they sit outside in the garden around the bonfire Sea Hawk had made. He was drunkenly singing a loud shanty while Bow piled in the wood, fanning the flames. Frosta sips on a mocktail, the only one there who wasn’t old enough to drink yet. The fire flickers and dances, casting shadows around them. 
Catra downs a few more cocktails and jello shots as she waits for Mermista to light up some fireworks. Apparently it was illegal, but Mermista just waved her off, telling her that she’ll just pay the penalty fee as Catra’s birthday gift. Sea Hawk really did rub off on her. 
When she successfully sets them off they light up the sky in dazzling multicoloured sparks. Adora’s friends whoop with glee, taking photos and videos to commemorate the moment. 
Adora's side profile is lit up in the dark, and she looks impossibly beautiful among the backdrop of stars. Longing tears at her chest, Catra wants to hold her hand but her throat feels too tight and she can’t move. The truth was that she knew she had always had feelings for Adora, even back when they were just kids back in the foster home. But like a coward, she could never voice them for fear of Adora leaving her side. 
A loud neighing can be heard from the stables in response to the loud booming noises from the fireworks. 
'Swifty!' Adora says, standing up. The moment's breaks and Catra reels back her hand. 'Stay here, I'll be right back.' 
Her chance disappears, she couldn’t say it after all. She watches her go tend to her horse, feeling stupid. 
‘Yoohoo~, want a rematch?’ Sea Hawk calls out from the patio, pouring vodka into tiny glasses. 
‘Don’t mind if I do.’ Catra replies. She definitely didn’t know her alcohol tolerance levels yet, so it was the perfect time to take that to the test. 
Catra confidently does a whole line of shots, determined to drink herself into unconsciousness. Every time she sees a flash of Lonnie or Adora’s face in her mind, she takes another swig. Everyone is cheering her on, screaming the song ‘Shots’ over and over again, also all drunk out of their minds. Sea Hawk taps out at the 5th drink, and everyone screams at Catra’s flawless victory. Scorpia lifts her into the air to do a victory lap, cheering. 
Adora finally makes an appearance, alerted by the sound of Catra's shrieky laughter as Scorpia swings her around. 
‘Don’t worry, I can take it from here.’ Her school captain says pulling Catra away from her friend. Scorpia just shrugs and makes her way to the food table.
‘Catra, maybe you should slow down.’ Adora tells the giggling girl in her arms. 
‘Noo way.’ She slurs, she was enjoying the feeling too much, the alcohol burning through her body, making her feel lightheaded. The light up disco dancefloor starts to blur into a kaleidoscope of colours. 
‘You got some weed?’ Catra asks, seeing Perfuma light a bowl. The taller girl hands her an already rolled up one and Catra snatches it to take a long drag. The smoke hits her lungs and she starts coughing. 
‘Oi Perfuma, why did you bring drugs? Angella will kill me!' Adora gripes, trying to wrestle the blunt away from Catra. 
‘Aw don't be like that! I made some edibles for you guys to try.’ Perfuma says cheerfully, pointing to the pot brownies. 
‘See? Scorpia likes them.’ She gestures at the other girl, who seemed to be currently tripping out of her mind and eating everything on the table. 
Catra goes to reach for one, but Adora grabs her by the wrist to lead her back inside. 'Alright, you're done for the night. Everyone say bye!' 
‘Byee Catra!’
‘Happy birthday!!’
Adora grabs her by the waist to lead her to her bedroom, Catra wobbling after her in the heels Glimmer lent her. 
'Ugh Adoraaa, don't be such a party pooper. I'm fine.' She moans, leaning heavily on the other girl. 'Don't you have a shift tomorrow afternoon? I don't want you getting hungover or drug tested.' Adora chides, rummaging around the dark for the light switch. 
Catra snorts. 'Oh you don't have to worry about that anymore. Got laid off.' 
Adora looks at her in confusion, until realization dawns on her. 'Wait, is that why Lonnie took you outside?' 
'Say, I never got to give you your birthday gift.' Catra pushes her hair back, voice sultry as she flings off her jacket. She never pinned herself down as a horny drunk, but here they were. Catra shoves Adora onto the bed, straddling her. Her golden hair spills over the mattress, soft like spun silk. 
'You still want that kiss?' Catra whispers in Adora's now burning red ear. 'My knife touched the bottom.' 
Adora's face now resembled a fire truck, mouth gaping in shock.
'C-Catra, I…' 
Catra presses their lips together, silencing her. She knows she probably tastes like alcohol and weed right now, but she couldn't care less in the moment. Adora's mouth is still slack jawed from mortification, so she takes the opportunity for tongue. She frowns and moves down to her neck when Adora doesn’t return the kiss. 
'Catra, what are you doing-' 
Catra bites down on Adora's nape. The blonde underneath her lets out a soft gasp, arching her back. Her gold manicured nails dig into her shoulder. 
'Stop, you're not thinking straight-!' 
'Sure ain't.' Catra grins, licking a stripe down the base of her neck. Adora’s necklace chain jingles with the movement. There was now an impressive hickey there, blooming violet on her pale skin. She pauses to admire her handiwork. 
'This isn't you talking, you'll, you'll regret this in the morning.' Adora stutters. She's shivering, their hands now laced together, silver rings clanking. 
 'I know. I don't care.' She replies, kissing her again. Adora's teeth nick her lip. The alcohol in her system makes her feel lightheaded, confident. No way would she have managed this sober. Adora tastes better than she does, sweet like blueberry soju. Catra's hands wander down further, pulling the strings to untie the back of her dress-
'Catra stop!' Adora suddenly shouts, striking Catra across the cheek in a deafening slap. 
Adora's eyes were blazing, almost teary in the dark. Her breathing was irregular, panting in and out. Catra stills, clutching her cheek. The look in her eyes sobered her immediately. 
Adora looks down at her palm, realizing what she just did. 'Sorry for hitting you!' She flounders. 'It's just that, you're only doing this because you’re drunk and upset, right?’
Catra just stares at her before climbing off. Cold realization settles as the fog in her brain clears. 'You're right. Forget it.' 
She sits on the edge of the bed, numbly watching Adora hurriedly trying to re-tie the back of her now wrinkled dress. Her lips are stained with Catra’s red lipstick. 
Adora catches her looking, and she quickly turns away to smooth down her hair with her fingers. 'You've had more than enough to drink tonight. I’ll get you some water to clear your head.’
She gets up to turn on the light switch, and Catra blinks in the harsh light from the chandeliers. 
‘Come on, let’s get you sobered up, okay?’ Adora leads her to the kitchen on the same floor, gingerly placing her friend on the slippery bar stool. 
The blonde goes to get the chilled jug of infused water from the fridge and pours it into a glass. Adora slides it across the island, and Catra reluctantly takes it. She sips at it, mint and lemon on her tongue. It tasted way better than her hose water. 
‘I’ll uh, pick out some groceries for you since we’re here and all.’ Adora says awkwardly into the silence, turning around to rummage through her pantry. 
Suddenly Catra is brought back to the whole reason why she was sitting here in this oversized mansion in the first place. Their friendship agreement. The one she had just violated. Catra had never felt more stupid to mistake Adora’s kindness and guilt for actual feelings. She felt like a charity case, waiting to collect food from the soup kitchen.
Of course Adora didn't like her back. She just saw her as someone needing to be saved. The product of survival guilt. Catra wanted to whack her head on the corner of her marbled countertop and not wake up. 
Adora takes out a green plastic bag, and starts filling it with everything and anything she can get. Cans, pasta, biscuits, fruits and vegetables. Actually this feeling was more like being one of those poor kids that white girls would pose next to for their Instagram after their trip to Africa. 
Did Adora have fun, volunteering to slum it up in her place while she returned here? All she ever wanted her entire life was to be Adora’s equal. 
Scorpia and Sea Hawk's loud laughter and DJ music can be heard downstairs in the garden, beyond the tall golden trimmed windows. The class difference between them stretched like an unfathomable canyon. Living the classy bougie dream until the clock struck midnight and she was back in her run down garage. Except soon she won’t even have that anymore. Why did Adora have to bring her here? It was almost cruel. 
Catra's suddenly overcome with the urge to vomit. She nearly falls off the high chair in her rush to throw up the unholy cocktail of alcohol into the sink. Tears bead in her eyes from the sour taste as she continues to vomit out everything she ate that night. She can feel Adora by her side, patting her back reassuringly.
It was by far the worst birthday she has ever had. 
--
The morning of, Catra woke up in Adora’s bed with a splitting headache. 
Unfortunately she was not given the gift of amnesia, as she vividly remembered every last excruciating detail about last night. 
She spots Adora’s mop of blonde hair under a blanket on the floor, even though there were a billion other free spare rooms to sleep in. Adora was probably too afraid to share the same bed as her now.
Catra’s borrowed crop top digs uncomfortably into her skin, and she angrily flings it off her body. The shorts stick to her like a second skin, smelling of tequila. She grabs her old Burger King uniform and puts it on, though even this didn’t belong to her now. 
Adora shifts in her sleep, and Catra lightly steps over her to get to the door. The last thing she wanted was for Adora to wake up. 
As soon as she’s out, she runs out to the elevator and bangs frantically on the buttons until it sends her to the bottom floor. The lift opens with a ding and in her haste she almost crashes headfirst into Glimmer. 
‘Oh hey! Are you going to work?’ Glimmer greets. She was in her silk pajamas and slippers, holding a glass of orange juice. 
‘Uh. Yeah.’ Catra lies, trying her best to look natural. 
‘Some party last night huh? Lucky today is a Saturday.’ Glimmer says conversationally, unaware of Catra’s urge to throw her across the room. ‘Hey, what happened to your cheek?’
Catra clutches her face, it still strung from where Adora struck her. ‘Nothing.’
Glimmer raises an eyebrow. ‘Well anyway, did you wanna stick around for  breakfast? The cooks made pancakes, bacon, eggs, the whole deal.' She peeks behind Catra. 'Is Adora still not up yet?’ 
As much as Catra wanted to scream get out of my way she schools her expression to her best customer service smile. ‘Nope she’s still sleeping it off. Anyway I’m gonna be late so I can’t stick around.’
‘Did you need a lift?’ Glimmer asks. It dawns on the brunette she couldn’t exactly run the entire way back home. ‘I’ll ask one of the drivers to take you back so you make it to your shift.’
Catra thanks her lucky stars that Glimmer was still too hungover to drive her. She wouldn’t have been able to dodge her questions if she had. 
‘Yes please.’ Catra says, giddy with relief. ‘Thank you.’ 
‘Ooh and before I forget, Adora told me last night to give you this.’ Glimmer says, grabbing the green bag of groceries off the counter. The shorter girl bundles it into Catra’s arms before she can object. 
‘Get home safe.’ She says, waving as the attendant leads her out the door. 
Catra looks down at the cans of food in her arms and doesn’t say anything.  
------
The days leading up to graduation were painful, to say the least. 
They more or less pretend the kiss didn't happen. Adora never brings it up, and neither does Catra. 
She would stare at the ceiling, wishing she had never gotten piss drunk at her birthday and kissed her. Adora was right, she did regret it. It was awful, the look on Adora's face when she slapped Catra replays in her mind and nightmares over and over again. It was mortifying. 
Adora still messages her every 3 days, and Catra still replies, though her words are empty and devoid of banter. I'm worried about you, she says. I'm fine, Catra always responds. 
The brunette continues to humour her to keep the peace, only shutting down when her old job was mentioned. Catra doesn’t allow Adora back into her home again. 
Sometimes they study together, but she can't concentrate when Adora wears her glasses. Her heart hurts, so she cradles her cheek and tries not to remember. 
The hickey she had branded Adora's neck with had been covered with foundation until it faded away. None of her friends had teased her about it, so she clearly had not told a single soul what had happened. 
Catra bites at the scab on her lip from where Adora’s teeth nicked her until it bleeds. She wants to apologize, but the words stick on her tongue and she can't bring herself to talk about that night. 
Catra knew Adora was only here by her side to alleviate her guilt. Shame buries itself under her skin every time she's near her, like she was too embarrassed to even exist in the same space as Adora. She wants to disappear. 
Exams are hard, and without an internet connection after the library closes at 6pm made it difficult to study. She tries to use the Mcdonald's wifi but soon just ordering a water cup wasn't enough for the workers to let her stay. It was a fruitless effort anyway, in her heart she knew she wasn't going to come out on top. Her ranking had slipped, she wasn't even at second place anymore. Rent was due at the end of the month, and without her Burger King wage she knew she'll be kicked out sooner than later. 
Catra felt stressed and self destructive, and the only thing that kept her from falling off the edge completely was Scorpia. As much as she hated depending on others, she'd much rather her old coworker than Adora. 
Her classmates seemed to like this new, muted down version of Catra who didn't argue and just stayed quiet most of the time. Fighting back was too difficult when all she wanted to do was blend into the wallpaper. All they talked about was where they were going for vacation after graduation, and Catra certainly had nothing to contribute to that conversation.
She felt like crying, all the time. It was agony, wanting to burst out into tears randomly while she sat wasting away in the student council room. Despite herself, she missed Burger King, and she just kept getting ghosted or rejected in her other job applications. Sometimes when she really wanted to indulge herself, she'd go cry silently in the school toilet stall. 
Glimmer notices the change, and she catches her glaring. 'You don't seem as alive lately. Your eye bags are huge.' 
'S'fine.' Catra replies, hiding her hands so she doesn't see how they shake. Honestly Catra couldn't remember the last time she slept.
'Pfft, don't lie to me. Adora's worried about you. You're getting skinnier, and your eyes are always raw. All you do is stare into space.' 
Catra bites down on her nails. Of course she knew that. But she's gone through this before, and she'll do it again. 
'What happened between you two?’ 
‘None of your business.’ Catra replies, shuffling her way to the hall. 
--
Their graduation ceremony starts off uneventfully. Every student’s parents except Catra’s sit proudly in the audience, eager to watch their kid graduate. One by one they receive their certificate and return to their seats. 
Adora and Catra stand side by side onstage, as Adora makes their final speech as School Captain. Through the blinding lights, she sees Angella waving proudly at her adoptive daughter in the crowd. 
Catra looks at Adora in the corner of her eye. She must look pathetic, lovesick and pining after someone she couldn’t have. 
‘It’s been such an honour serving the entire faculty and students of this school. I couldn’t have done it without my amazing Vice-Captain and all of my prefects.
Now I’m proud to hand over my badge to the next School Captain, Frosta.’ 
They go through the rest of the ceremony like that, each member of the student council handing their badges to their successors. 
Soon their Principal comes up to the podium, tapping it once and clearing her throat. 
‘Announcing our honor student, and the winner of the scholarship to Eternia University…’ Castaspella says, turning over the sign card. 
‘None other than our school captain, Adora!’
Everyone starts clapping, and Adora walks across the stage to shake Castaspella's hand. 
Sounded about right. Catra never won against Adora in her entire life. She had already expected this outcome. Like a game of cat and mouse, going over and over for all eternity. 
Adora would excel with her elite education and secure a well paying job. Catra would struggle at the bottom indefinitely, never amounting to anything. She never would, if Adora was still there next to her. When the blonde re-entered her life, everything she had been working towards for years just collapsed. Her job, her home, her School Captain status, her chance at the scholarship, her sanity. 
She had to be wiped clean. A fresh start. 
The flower petals were falling, the streets decorated with a vibrant pink. The other students mill out of the crowd with their parents, chatting excitedly about what was next in their futures. She waits for Adora underneath a tree.  
'Congratulations.' Catra says, when she finally spots the other girl in the crowd. Adora pulls away from Angella’s embrace to meet her. 
'You deserve this so much more than I do.' Adora says, her voice pained like she didn't just win a full ride to her dream university. 'You should take it.'
'It's in your name, silly.' Catra replies, lightly tapping her with her rolled up certificate.
'Besides, I knew you'd get into Eternia, so I never applied.'
Adora blinks dumbly. '...What? Aren’t we going to the same university?’ 
She always was a bit slow on the uptake. ‘Only you decided that, stuupid. Say, it's about time we ended this right?' 
‘Catra, what are you...' 
'Our deal. You don't need to feel guilty anymore or bring me anything.' Catra says, her voice sounding like it didn't belong to her. She rummages in her bag, bringing out Adora's spare varsity jacket that she hadn’t returned. 'Here, take this. Thank you for all the help.' 
'What do you mean? You want to stop being friends?' Adora says in disbelief, taking the jacket.  
Catra nods. ‘I can’t continue with the arrangement. I hope you understand.’ 
‘I don’t! Was I the only one who thought we were friends, real ones?’ Adora asks.
‘...That’s right. I never saw you as a friend. You were just a meal ticket to me. Are you happy now?’ Catra snaps back. Shit, that wasn’t what she meant to say. She had planned to end this quickly and painlessly, on a high note. Trust Adora to put up a fight. 
Something seems to click in Adora’s brain. ‘Is this about the night of the party?’
‘Figure that out yourself.’ Catra replies, turning to walk away. 
Adora grabs onto her arm. ‘Wait! If- if that’s what you want, I’ll give it! Just don't go!' 
This dumb blonde really was offering up her body, out of what? A sense of duty? How stupid. 
‘Is that right?’ Catra says, walking closer to her. Adora backs up until she is pinned to the tree. They’re face to face now. 
‘Can you really do this?’ Catra lifts Adora’s chin by a finger. 
Finally it seems to dawn on Adora exactly what Catra wanted. She swallows, biting her lip. 
There’s a flicker of hesitation, before Adora’s eyes squeeze shut defiantly. The blonde is shaking like a leaf, her breath coming out in panicked stutters from her pursed lips. 
Catra just stares at Adora’s scrunched up face impassively. Her scared reaction was the only confirmation she needed for closure. 
She flicks the other girl’s forehead, and her big blue eyes open in confusion.
‘Chill out, I’m not that evil to do it to someone so unwilling.’
Adora blinks, clutching her forehead. ‘Catra?’
Suddenly Angella’s voice cuts through their conversation from the car park. ‘Adora dear, are you done chatting with your friend? We have reservations!'
‘Um, I…’ Her old school captain opens her mouth to say something, but Angella's started to lose her patience. 'Adora, how long are you going to stand there? Glimmer is already waiting for us at the restaurant!' 
Catra just smiles tiredly. ‘Take care, dummy.’ 
She watches Adora being dragged off unwillingly by her adoptive mother to the car. 
Catra lets out a sigh. Her phone pings with a message from Scorpia, and she knows it's time to go. 
---
By the time Angella releases her from their graduation celebration, Adora can feel that it's already too late.
Adora: 
Please, can we talk? Let me fix this
A pop up appears over the screen. 
Message Not Sent
This person isn't receiving messages at this time. 
Adora sends another message, but they all go undelivered. Catra had blocked her again. Panic spikes through her veins, and she quickly dons on a jacket and grabs her car keys. 
She sneaks out that night, down the familiar winding path through the bush that led to Catra's place. 
'Catra?' She rolls up the garage door, blinking in the darkness. When her eyes adjusted, she found Catra's old home completely emptied. 
All the furniture and items her friend had collected over the years, they were all gone. The little stove where they cooked, the old mattress where they talked late into the night, all vanished like they were never there. 
A single green plastic bag remained on the floor untouched, filled to the brim of food. 
123 notes · View notes
aninvisiblerepublic · 5 years ago
Text
Moving Live Blog
We moved out of our home 6 months ago and began a massive renovation project. Today, we move back in.
07:15 Arriving a little late to pick up U-Haul. Did the automatic/mobile pick up. Went smooth but forgot to check for reserved dollies in the back. 
08:00 Arrive home. Remember dollies, check in back of truck and of course they’re not in there. My fault. I should’ve checked my “staging” as the Uhaul folks call it. 
08:10 Make coffee.  
08:30 Comcast has arrived at the house. 
08:50 Meet Comcast technician. Leave him to it. 
09:00 Sara goes back to U-Haul in Pilot and grabs the 2 forgotten dollies. 
09:30 Run to house to grab my tools so I can start taking things apart and loading them in the truck. This is a necessity when you’re moving solo during a pandemic cause a 100+ pound dining room table is easier to move if you detach the legs. 
09:33 Grab tools and start to head back to cottage. 
09:35 Painters are at the house working on touch-ups and staining the new mantle. Stop to check out the stain sample and approve. 
09:40 Comcast tech informs me that I have a cat-6 instead of a coax cable and that after he sets up service outside the house there is nothing else he can do. I have no idea why our electrician ran a cat-6 line. I’m pissed. Text electrician and project manager. PM calls me and tells me it was a misunderstanding and he’s trying to get someone to come out and run the correct line. 
10:00 Head back to cottage so Sara can take the Pilot to get us breakfast.
10:25 Sara back with breakfast. My mood should elevate somewhat now. 
10:30 There are many dichotomies to decipher in the south: people you love and adore as a child turning out to be horribly racist, rednecks with dixie flags and ‘You have your X I have mine’ stickers blasting hip hop, etc. But one of the trickiest is eating these wonderful chicken biscuits made by right-wing conservatives who hate gay people. 
10:48 Belly full of factory-farmed yardbird and crispy crowns. Gotta head down to house and make sure painters know all the spots they missed. 
11:00 Great job painters.
11:15 Back at cottage. One bed loaded in truck and here’s the rain.
11:19 Well, fuck.
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11:40 Murphy’s Law is a very real thing folks.
11:45 Sara has disappeared. Fine time, Lucille. Fine time.
12:03 Teamwork y’all.
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12:18 Too early in the day for the amount of apathy I’ve just been hit with.
12:30 How about we take a little break? 1st beer of the day.
Even without the pandemic quarantine blues it has been a strange 6 months for us. We’ve had 2 birthdays celebrated here, a beloved hamster named Bijou died and a new beloved hamster we named Nova has joined us, one Christmas, one Thanksgiving...but we’ll always think back on this place as the Quarantine Cottage I bet. 
13:00 Really stalled out here. Waiting on mopped floors in house to dry and electricians to finish up before we continue.
13:23 First of many loads ready to go. Still waiting.
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13:24 Tonight’s post-move treats!
15:45 First load unloaded. Wifi seems to be working in “new” house. Back to the front!
18:00 Second load done and dusted.
19:00 Eating pizza.
20:00 Hooked up washer and dryer. Washer is leaking of course.
21:30 3rd load is in the truck and may stay there for the night.
22:00 Second beer of the day.
22:26 Packing up my laptop and guitar. Sleeping in my new/old bedroom tonight! Tomorrow...the soreness.
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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years ago
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some random numbers: 1, 3, 6, 15, 23, 31, 35, 40. give me ur ungodly long answers.
lmaooo YES brevity whom......i cannot be concise
1) favorite videos?
i sure spent 2010 - 2014 enjoying youtube horror interpersonal-drama series marble hornets, those are a good time. and here in the future you and i both know there is just a wellspring of wrol-related Video Content out there, god damn, i really love so many of them.....in between that there’s sure been a lot of fun and funney videos and like, some Artistique ones i like to revisit [or have disappeared :( ] but i always like to promote this Wuthering Heights one. i love it. oh lol!!!! and the uh, Skate 3 Glitch compilations!!! so so funny
3) favorite memes?
i think Deep Fried Memes are fun all the time lol. the Youtube Meme of “___ but ____” is a lot of fun OH YEAH steamed hams was awesome too. the 24601 Releases A Sammich On Parole ytp is priceless......this is just turning into favorite videos again lmao. vine as a meme and a whole
6)favorite mixes?
you know i never really made or used playlists lol!!!! i will just be like, in the mood for certain songs or else like “i want to listen to music but....which ones”.....i say i can never be concise and all of these answers turning out short lol. it’s not b/c i’m Concise but b/c like, i don’t know what Favorites i have and i don’t have a memory that works without Direct Reminders of Specific Things so i’m just failing to like, come up with the info in the first place smh
15) favorite fictional characters?
here we go lol i can answer this one cuz when i have a fave rave it’s rare and like, easier to remember cuz i do not Go Hard about it that often.....weirdly for the first few years of The Decade i did’t really have such certain faves.....i was def enjoying some characters, as i always do, but nothing like super standout. then in ‘11 or ‘12 or whatever i was like oh hey, ed from cowboybeboy.......and then just had like, the solo experience of me humoring myself w/ that. bit of an usual one b/c a lot of the characters i Really latch on to will tend to be kinda roughly similar in ways that maybe seem pretty at-first-glance levels of obvious, buuut idk she’s not That far off from my usual selections i guess lol. anyways then in 2014 i was like, time to go ham for lars. what a valuable time it was....what Fun we had.....truly tho! and then another interval later it’s 2016 and for similarly (relatable characters of roughly the same cut) i was like, well here i am having a great time re: kip, all while getting to generously use of my fave shade of blue and fangs central and all that fun stuff. and then another interval later the Eventual Unfolding of what started innn 2017 i guess occurs, and it’s late 2018, and i’m like, time to look into Jared Kleinman b/c just from reading the wikipedia summary that didn’t mention him all that much i could tell this was probably a character i’d go ham for for predictable reasons, and the vague interest in that has stuck with me for the past little-over-a-year......and then i was Completely right lol. deh? well that’s just Bonus Jared Lore, to me (though of course alana in her own right is a great and similarly underappreciated character. rights)....and then of course i’ve had a lot of fun with pretty much each and every Wrol Role lmao.......Very fond of jeremy, and also christine, and bmc just has really enjoyable and interesting characters all over the place. and of course, here i am, Extremely #about winston quantbillions as another certified fave rave, really. call it classic!!!
[[answered both 23 and 31 prior, actually.....words were typed....]]
35)a random memory you remember with strange clarity?
tough one because lol a fair amount of “you recorded this memory in a fair amount of detail” is due to increased levels of unpleasantness / stress / discomfort, and if it’s also “i remember this b/c it was Nice” then i wouldn’t call that Strange clarity lol, and Random Memory like “just pull one up from the ol memory bank” is like, god, i wish it were that simple........but give me a min.
oh yeah i had a High Time of it when pokemon go came out (only pokemonn game i have ever played lol) coz there was like, this stretch of Landmarks stops that started at this garden and went along this waterfront / connected park forrr maybe like a half mile stretch? ideal territory and people would actually like, come from out of town to partake in it lol. and i’d Download podcast eps on my phone from my work’s wifi and just like, in the evening listen to that or music and just like, walk and do this shit. i had like five or six gyaradoses at one point cuz i guess the riverside nature of it meant they wanted to throw all these magikarp at you (there Were carp, also! one of the parks had a koi pond.) and like, there were just all these people around doing it along with you, even that late at night and in the early AM hours, so it was fairly social even if u weren’t there with a group or talking with anyone (though there was Camaraderie like, oh hey just so you guys know, there is a ____ over by the boat.) and it was just an interesting Walk with several things to look at and routes to take. and one time in a weird Dead Of Night time like 1am there was this like, smallish cruise ship docked that actually Set Off. and like, a bunch of us randos were just standing there and watching this unfold. this isn’t a very good Clear Random Memory but if i tried to think of a good one, god only knows how long it’d take me lol
40)an important personal revelation?
oh jeez this has really been a decade with lots of the unfortunate combo of “stuff that is a bummer but also boring” lol.......a benefit of getting to spend more time than not Away From The Parents’ House was like, oh sweet, having this perspective for long enough finally leads me to the conclusion of why i hate this......B/c It Is Bad. oh yeah and then there was also conclusively figuring out early in the decade like oh right, i’m trans, that makes sense.......other layers of Gayassedness like oh, more specifically i’m nonbinary, oh yeah and like, i’m not straight, call that queer and/or bi and/or also Gay......bein grey ace like a champ, and aromantic like, oh yeah i’m not like, fucking up at being a person somehow and Letting People Down by not wanting to date them (i mean besides rando cishet men. they can be let down regardless).....and just like, this ongoing process of getting the space to b figuring out myself and what i like For myself in alll kinds of ways....even up till now with the “oh yeah ive been a theatre gay all my life lmaooo” bit that’s like, totally obvious but just like, i didn’t much have the reason to even look at the would-be obvious stuff from the right perspex till now. and it’s pretty fun to realize a Lifelong Area Of Big Interest like that, cuz those sorts of things can feel elusive. and then also unfortunately a lot of the decade has involved like, “oh my self-esteem is so fucked that it’s circling back around and i’m appreciating and valuing myself and that i deserve decent treatment and Not bad shit,” which was a crappy process obviously lol but it was nice when i did start to get there, and making further progress on that front. im not dead certain when i was like “hmm...am autistic” b/c that was definitely a really ongoing process of figuring that out lol, but when / as i did it’s definitely a series of “oh hahaha this is why i’m like This or why i do This or feel like This about This!!” and it’s really easy to learn a totally Brand New Thing all the time abt bein autistic where it’s like Oh #Me!! coz yknow. the info By and For autistic ppl is not always widely available and known of. love that for us
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tumblunni · 6 years ago
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OH FUCK I THINK I FINALLY CRACKED THE CODE OF WHY I ALWAYS LIKE THE VILLAINS BETTER
Like man it always makes me so confused cos i mean im a soft AF person and i always end up having sympathetic redemption headcanons for them so its not like i like VILLAINY ITSELF but what else do all these characters have in common?
Thats it. Thats it, ursula helped me crack it.
I just WANT THOSE TRAITS ON THE HEROES
I really want a nice confident sassy funny chubby trans auntie who promotes body positivity to our young hero and always gets to say the coolest lines and get the best moments and BE LOVED FOR WHO SHE IS
And like usually whenever you get anywhere close to seeing those "villain traits" on a hero they like.. Remove all the good parts. If you have a supportive hero aunt she's always boring and generically supportive instead, and has to look like the most stereotypical boring mess ans have a super small plot role and uuuugh thats IF SHES EVEN THERE i mean seriously aunties and grandmas are weirdly less represented as mentors than grandpas who are already REALLY HARD TO FIND and again OFTEN GENERIC AND UNFUN WHENEVER THEY GET TO APPEAR
And how damn often are we allowed to have a chubby gay aunt!! WHERE IS MY CHUBBY GAY AUNT!! ive met SO MANY chubby gay aunts in real life like 90% of all my psychologists have been either that or like.. The exact same but a straight lgbt ally instead. Sassy plus size aunties are THE BACKBONE OF OUR SOCIETY DAMMIT! I've had so much help thanks to sassy gay aunts!! And like even just looking at any damn crowd scene in a normal city centre youre gonna see so many chubby aunts and long nosed uncles and all those sorts of bullshit "ugly people" that mass media pretends are ugly and relegates to One Minor Role In The Entire Cast despite them being infinately more common than supermodels and NOT UGLY AT ALL GEEZ IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH
I cant believe im a fuckin disney villain fan cos of body positivity
Tfw u suck so bad at making hateable people that the fandom universally hugs all your villains and ignores your boring protagonists like fuckin TAKE THAT DIDNEY
God i wanna hug hades sooo bad he just needs a friend aaaaaa
And i mean its not just disney, every damn time ive obsessed over a villain its been because they have some trait thats supposed to be "bad" but its actually good and we dont get to see it on the heroes
Like my thing with science villains in particular is that when i first played ff7 i really liked the idea of an evil minion who's a bad sidekick not just because he's "dumb" or "bumbling" but because he's actually not interested in any of the evil stuff and he works against his own boss and is like.. Friendly to the heroes, i have no particular grudge against you and i wont stop you if im off duty and all. I liked the Turks for the same reason but in the origibal ff7 translation they were kind of stoic and serious and i didnt really become as much of a fan of them til i saw them being more goofy and comic relief in some optional sidequests and then their movie adaptation. But hojo was always being all "lol my boss's plan is so stupid amirite" and had that very memorable scene where he's just sunbathing and tells you everything you need to know to get to the next thing to ruin his boss's plan cos i mean fuck it who even cares im just here to soak up some sun while fully dressed in a turtleneck and labcoat. It sucked so much that he was such a reprehensible bastard with creepy sexual assault vibes and murder and child abuse and experimenting on people and basically just NOT A LOVEABLE VILLAIN but his CONCEPT held so much potential to be filled by a sympathetic character instead...
So yeah then cos of him i kept being obsessed with finding SOME CHARACTER SOMEWHERE that actually lived up tp that potential, and thats why i was instantly interested in charon from pokemon and totally on edge waiting for the slightest chance for him to become That Perfect Sass Gramps Of Legend. And then he was indeed sassy!! And had so little screenyime that there was potential for interpretation of him as potentially redeemable cos i mean the game never said he wasnt, the game barely said anything about him at all, lol. And he was so old and small and frail looking and i just wanted to protect him!! And then that one wifi event that actually hinted at synpatheticness!! Aaaa its a recipe for a Forever Fave~
And i guess maybe it all started with my grandma being awesome and me really missing her? Cos i had shitty abusive parents and she was my ONLY good family member who showed me what love was like. And she was also basically a supervillain. Like every damn supervillain trait except being evil! She was bombastic and confident and sassy and mischievious and loud and passionate about stuff and always had something funny to say and never gave up no matter how many times she failed. And she also used all that great power for the forces of good!
So yeh thats why i love sassy good guys and i hate that often even when a sassy villain gets redeemed they seem to lose all their edge and become more generic now theyre a good guy. Or they get totally sidelined with no screentime anymore, or they ONLY get to be comic relief and dont get the full and complex redemption they deserve. Or just a lot of bads!! Its never the simplest answer of just fuckin.. Keep the character the character. Thats kinda why i didnt feel too much for the maleficent movie even though the concept itself sounded like everything i ever wanted. The character in that movie is a very different person to origibal maleficent, she's more just a stoic tsundere mumsy figure than a hammy badass iconicness. Still a nice villain redemption but it felt like it would have been better as an original story instead of an attempted maleficent. Also i wish they handled it better with the whole "true love's kiss could be from your mum instead" thing cos i get sooooo grossed out whenever i see people shipping movie maleficent and aurora! Like yes sleeping beauty with lesbians would be great but not when one of them is old enough to be her mum and raised her like a mum and changed her goddamn diapers! Also why did they have to ruin the three good fairies just to make maleficent have the mum opportunity? Like just remove them from the story if you wanted maleficent to raise the kid instead. No need to rewrite them into incompetant assholes when they were everyone's fave part of the original! Dont sacrifice the rare and elusive Good Sassy Gay Aunts!! THEYRE LIKE THE ONLY ONES IN DIDNEY!!! (Incodentally merlin is the equivelant of this to hades as the fairies are to ursula)
Also also villains tend to have ACTUAL FLAWS in stories that have a more boring bland protagonist. I wanna see the story behind charon's neuroses and how he struggles with overcoming his temptation to be bad because of greed but ultimately manages to conquer his own negative side because power of friendship and such. Thats a great character arc that provides so much more than he does as a villain where they just wasted him entirely :(
SO BASICALLY IN SUMMARY
* villains are often more complex and well developed characters with flaws while the same wroter might make shitty heroes due to the illogical fear that nobody would root for them if they werent 100% perfect and successful at everything ever
* villains are also often made as negative stereotypes of minorities and other rarely seen traits, which means its easy to reach out to them and reclaim them as a more positive version when theres literally no other options for you to cling to
* the quite common accidental sympathy factor where a villain will seem to be hated more than they deserve for their actions, ir unjustly punished so much that they feel like an underdog, since the writer assumes you'll think theyre "more evil" for being a stereotype and if you dont agree that this thing is bad then it seems like they have way less sins than the story claims they do
* also sass. Sass is good.
But basically the whole root of it is that its stupid and cruel and doesnt goddamn work when you make villains bigoted stereotypes. It just makes me love them! The only person i hate when i see a stereotypical villain is the writer who thought that was a good idea, lol. Just imagine that meme of the samurai holding the cat but its me holding all disney villains!
Also even if a villain isnt outright intentionally meant to be "this minority is bad", it can still make me symoathetic to them if theyre still something thats rare amoung the hero side in the same series. Like charon being the "most unredeemable" villain despite being the most harmless and funny and his plan being so much less world destroying than cyrus, and also he's the only grandpa villain in like.. The whole of all. And he's drawn very much in that way thays supposed to be "ugly" i.e normal grandpa, vs that weird sort of younger than he looks grandpa that hero ones tend to be because blablabla beauty ewuals goodness anti body positivity whatever. Tho actually sinnoh was good with that, they had the best grandpa professor in my opinion cos he got to be sassy too! Rowan always reminds me of auron from ff10. Sinnoh was a good game where i liked a lot of both the heroes and villains even if i still had more villain faves cos i mean pokemon is always biased towards that for me since every game has a voiceless perosnalityless main character and often theyre the one doing most of the heroing with the supporting hero characters having surprisingly little proper screen time. Thats a big part of why i loved hau gladion and lillie in sun and moon! They felt more like a real friend group than any other ones before.
ANYWAY now im just going offtopic into more "i love lots of stuff about every pokemon game" so ill stop typing now
But just basically VILLAINS ARE GOOD COS THEYRE GOOD CHARACTERS and if those stories gavethe same character a good guy role then id still love them just as much, if not more. I dont specifically like villainy, its just that my definition of a good character is often considered a bad character by lazy writers, apparantly?
Also WHERE IS MY SUPPORTIVE GOOD GRAMPS CHARON GAME AND GAY AUNTIE URSULA GIVES YOU FASHION TIPS SMARTPHONE MMO
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selivakyle · 6 years ago
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i was tagged by @sapphicsamwilson to do my top 10 movies using gifs! unfortunately my wifi wont work with this gd website so im just going to do small explanations instead :3
i am tagging @redhodd @lesbastard @dykejason @sirius and @wadenathan
1. the grand budapest hotel. one of my go to’s for when im in a bad mood, im bored, i want a laugh. the acting was phenomenal and i can pretend to be a Movie Hoe too. also pretty colours
2. john wick. litcherally keanu saying “im thinking im back” is my comp-het crush specifically. the fight scenes are so good and i nut in the baba yega scene EVERY TIME bc the delivery of it was On Point.
3. star trek beyond. SO MUCH CAN BE SAID ABOUT THIS MOVIE. the soundtrack. idris elba. the growth of the crew and more specifically james t kirk who for his whole life saw himself under the shadow of his father’s death but came to the realisation that he became a captain and stayed as a captain because of his crew - not just for some bet. also that funky lesbian jaylah adds like 70 points to this. simon pegg and justin lin really outdid themselves and im forever grateful.
4. miss congeniality. honestly my entire sexuality awakening can be pinpointed to the moment sandra bullock exits that plane hangar in her violet mini dress tied by a single spaghetti halter neck strap with matching shoes and telling the men hassling her she will shoot her. her arms and thighs look so good and i am so gay. obviously some questionable things about this film, but overall it just makes me feel really happy on the inside. 
5. the martian. the reason i wanted to study geology at university (no lie, how embarrassing, its funny bc that paper was the worst thing to ever happen to me in my life). but to be honest i always cry in the scene where he gets saved by jessica chastain and like the science behind it makes me Nut and overall its just a good movie. it was the reason i also watched gravity which got me a scholarship in english bc of my essay i wrote a few months later. thank you, andy weir
6. 10 things i hate about you. also another filme i had to analyse for hours back in high school for my end of year exams, but for some reason i still love it. is it because im a giant lesbian for kat? most likely, but also spending half a year analysing relationships and camera angles and colour theory about a modernised and bastardised Shakespeare play really gets deep (the same could also be said about she’s the man, which i also love). also the soundtrack slaps sp
7. the edge of seventeen. pretty much every person i know who has watched this HATED it but i cried like a baby and also watched it during a really rough patch during my first year. i have only watched it once but its one of those films that just like. stuck with me. and i always recommend it to my friends to watch bc sometimes we all just need to watch hailee steinfeld’s life spiral for almost an hour before coming to the realisation that actually, not all things suck when u look at them in a diff perspective.
8. hairspray. literally this is just the best musical on earth no one can convince me otherwise
9. three billboards outside ebbing, missouri. bro. i cried i laughed and i also came away from this so INCREDIBLY pissed off with the ending until i realised - oh. that was kind of the point. idk like all of the other movies directed by martin mcdonagh the plot just focuses on one major big thing with very little else happening, but the changes in character development are really subtle and good.
10. mulan. she’s my hero i love the soundtrack i love the story im so proud of that funky nb bisexual like UGH. if only the second stood up to the calibre of the first rip.
+ 11. the nice guys. please just watch it, ryan gosling was a fucking gem in this and its just one of those fucking weird movies that isnt funny unless you watch it twice.
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bigloquatthoughts · 3 years ago
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Thoughts While I Watch The Nintendo Direct A Day Late
Thoughts on the Nintendo Direct: Yoko Toro is an interesting person, that card game looks interesting but Y wouldn’t I just play Talisman? Cool to see more isometric RPGS on switch.
Hyrule Warriors is fun! Age of Calamity is where I really fell in love with the musou formula again - I played a LOT of DW Empires 5, so taking over a map / doing stuff on a map before combat is fun. The silly weapons like the broom etc also make this really fun. I’ll gladly play more of this. the new scientist warrior looks sick! Who asked for Chocobo GP? This looks like Garfield Racing re-skinned and with better physics maybe. When they said Chocoboooooo! I was hoping for a Chocobo’s Dungeon. My buddy Ted got that game with his PS1 and we though it was soooo cool, especially after playing Azure Dreams on Gameboy.
Thanks for telling us when we can see the new Smash Fighter which is probably more Sword boy / Sword gorl why won’t you put any interesting fighters in this game I am moving to Smash Bros CatDog Edition. Kirby washing up on an island is the most unlikely thing for a being who summons giant warp stars to fly through the universe on but okay. this looks INCREDIBLE. Kirby + Nier vibes with the busted up environment. what bums me out is that we saw the same enemy like, 10 times in the first 10 seconds of that one area. The giant snakes / fish are cool, but lets see some more variation maybe 3D Kirby boss fights look pretty freaking fun! 3D Kirby looks pretty great. It will suffer from Kirby things and also be fun. I will play it.
Hey, don’t worry. We’ll tell you some things about Animal Crossing in October. Not now - but in October. U will have content in November. Just hold on pls, be on the lookout for all ur rotten turnips in ur house
Lets move on, to more stuff second free update for Mario golf, which I would LOVE to play but can’t afford rn. I played it at my neighbors the other day and it’s pretty damn good. new courses and seeing little ninji run around will be very fun. Cool, kid Disney game. Dope. Old Republic for Switch looks great! Dying Light 2: Mirrors Edge edition. Oh, we can play with other people? That seems fun. Do we scavenge together? The Control cloud game demo felt okay on my wifi, but IDK about these cloud games as something worth getting on the switch when PC’s are a thing?
Triangle strategy looks dumb, Disgea does that shit better now right? Metroid Dread looks really cool, excited to run from big robot and make Samus Very Strong Hopefully u get to crawl around as big robot at some point in the game. Love the lore dump we get. Dude, Chozo were here! That’s sick!
Many people have been using switch online… Oh, giving out their old roms gathering dust for “free,” with their current sub was too generous for Nintendo I suppose. New plan for N64 games seem sick - the playing together online thing is very cool. Starting library is standard but nothing too exciting. Very excited to see how the emulation handles these games in relation to how they behaved on the console, as all the cool sped running shit we see in these sorts of older games vary depending on the version of the game.
I’m more excited about the Genesis line up than I am about the N64 one, save those two games I don’t recognize. We get Castlevania, a Contra, some puyo, Beatem ups, and playing this version of Gunstar Heroes might sell more of the other one. Expansion Pack is a name.
Notice how Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon and Comix Zone are not on these lists? They are too afraid to give us the best of what both platforms have to offer and it’s a shame.
WIRELESS CONTROLLERS FOR $60 EACH? ARE THEY BLUETOOTH SO I CAN USE THEM WITH OTHER STUFF? WTF
I was just talking to my friends about the Shadowrun Isometric RPGs last night! Cool. Castlevania collection looks dope. Button mapping is huuuuge for me. Love that. An Almighty Classic Returns: Actraiser - even the SNES game was hella off my radar, this looks dope. I’m down to side scroll and then town build. Deltarune + Homestuck are games that I really really want to play but my depression is such that I just sit and stare at the starting screen and nothing happens. One day I will consume Toby’s works and be better for it. But until then, I’ll just be excited for my friends and listen to the baller soundtrack. god dammit I love that dog.
new story of seasons looks cool but Natsume is dead, no hope left cept for Stardew #doomer NAMCO Hamster - yes. Rune Factory 5 might be good on the switch. The 3DS versions were sooooo sloooowwwww for me. I’ve heard really good things about the franchise as a whole though. MARIO movie thoughts: THIS CASTING IS GREAT EXCEPT FOR CHRIS PRATT WTF. WHY IS HIMBO WHO HATES GAYS MY MARIO?
CHARLIE DAY AS LUIGI WAS WRITTEN IN THE FUCKING STARS EXCEPT HIS SHORTER THAN FUCKIN CHRIS PRATT, HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU MESS THIS UP. CHARLIE DAY AS MARIO AND CHRIS PRATT AS LUIGI BECAUSE HE BUSTS GHOSTS WHICH IS SUPER THEOLOGICAL ANYWAY GOD DAMN DUDE. THIS ISN’T THAT HARD.
KEEGAN MICHAEL KEY AS FUCKIN TOAD MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD. I AM SO EXCITED FOR THAT.
JACK BLACK AS BOWSER - WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER MARIO BUT ANYTHING THIS MAN TOUCHES IS GOLD.
Movie is saved by Seth Rogan, I bet you 1 full bitcoin that DK saves this fuckin movie.
FRED ARMISEN AS CRANKY KONG IS ACTUALLY PERFECT. He is a real life hipster Cranky Kong and I love it. Dude playing Kamek looks familiar? Who is that
After seeing Wreck it Ralph, doesn’t Mario sound more like a Kenneth the Page than a Starlord? IDK man. Boomers are weird. Splatoon 3 looks cool, bummer it’s still 4v4 but whatever. the story mode for 1 and 2 were great aside from the difficulty spikes. stoked.
THE WAY THAT BAYONETTA IS REVEALED IS ONE PUNCH MAN TIER COMEDY.
Also, ya’ll spoiled it for us with the capcom font.
WAIT A GLOVED HAND PUNCHED, NOT A DEMON HAND? YOOOOO MOMMYYYYYYY THIS HAIR.
YOOO BUTTERFLY SHIT HELL YEAH
THERE IS MY BIG HAIR DEMON YES OH SHIT WE GET TO MEGA ZORD FIGHT WITH OUR DEMON?! THIS IS FUCKIN SICK
OH DIFFERENT DEMONS TO FIGHT WITH THIS IS SICK. THIS IS HOW I WANT POKEMON TO PLAY. 100% NOT JOKING. BAYONETTA: GODZILLA EDITION
HOLY SHIT THAT IS TIGHT
UHHHH IS DANTE GONNA BE IN THIS
WHO IS THAT BOI WITH THE SWORD
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Alright. There have been better directs, Christmas line up is looking p weak so far. Hopefully they can give us some bangers for holiday.
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f4wnc4r0us3l · 3 years ago
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ew this guy again
kids playing chess reminding me i need to finish queens gambit
y he orange
experimenting on kids-not okay, whats worse? his terrible art
see now this is why we dont fuck with shit we dont fully understand
damn rip 10 im built different
damn rip everyone in built different
ohhh all the dead kids are why they had the disclaimer i thought they had a school shooting in this ep
damn did 11 kill all those ppl huh???
damn johnny boy u gettin high? good for you good for you
it has occurred to me i do not rmbr what happened last year where are they? are they separated? why?? help pls explain i am stupid
elevens so pretty y is she getting bullied
am i allowed to simp for fynn wolfhard hold on lemem google
ok yes i am nice hes hot
is dustin hacking his grades
whos this chick calling him dusty bun
steve my beloved omg
"do i wanna start another relationship that is nothing but sex" cmere ill give you love
"do not say boobies" but its a fun word tits sounds vulgar
max bebby :(
i totally thought that the cheerleader chick was robin woops
lmao dustin and mike fighting over whos gf is better very teenage boy of them
this is supposed to be a cpl years later right? i rmbr nothing im just here for vibes
ew i hate men
yes sports very important and good yes
wait did hopper die?? google help
google did not help i am more confused now
finn is very gender
whats joyce selling? encyclopedias? i was thinking wifi then she started talking about volumes sorry not umportant
russia????
i hate this blond bitch idk who she is but she sucks
Helen Keller's not real
blond bitch: "i chose helen keller cuz she helped ppl with disabilities" also blond bitch: bullies 11 who has speech issues
blond bitch "thats not what i was saying" no it was fuck you
oh yes running up that hill good song
max my beloved ):
damn i do kinda miss billy huh
ugh i hate school counselors too man
girl ur puking ur not fine
WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF
sry sometimes i forget this is a horror show
who tf are these guys
this guys too old to be in high school
dustin i love u ur so awkward
man whats the big deal about postponing shut up u overdramatic slut
ok so man is like 20 in high school coolcoolcool
finn my beloved i want a hooked nose wtf
listen i hate this guy fucking "weeder" i hate him i hate every character that actor plays ugh i hope he dies
yearbook used to be cool before computers
confused why do nancy and (fuck i forgot his name) have dif stories about why they arent visiting??? am i stupid
steve u hopeless romantic fuck i love you
mike pitching dnd: "these are special dice with 20! sides!!” fucking nerd 😭😭😭
i love u finn u tall man long legs
is this chick okay help
whats happening
did card exist in the 80s??
y does chrissys actress look so familiar who is she
damn she wants that gas shit
i hat teachers who loudly announce ur shit grades fuck u old bitch
fuck you blonde bitch i hope you die
11 PLS THAT WAS SO EMBARRASSING I LOVE YOU
mrs gracey i love you
hopper pls b alive and come back 11 needs you
i rmbr hating this conspiracy man and i still do
nice hops alive confirmed
is brenda his date cuz babe i can already tell you deserve better (me)
whos tammy? whys she a big deal?
girl was looking for confirmation ur gay robin ur so dumb ily
def miss piggy
guy next to lucas ur attractive
ericas a queen
vecna sounds stupid get better names
man i wish i cld play dnd but it overwhelms me :(
if they dont win ill cry
FUCK YEAAAAA GO LUCAS GO ERICA
awww lucas are you sad you missed the end of the campaign :(
oh shit whats chrissy doing with eddie drugs?
special k? like the fake weed shit or?
eddies such a creep
is she crazy or like possessed or????
i do not think drugs wld help u miss chrissy
shes gotta be possessed or whatever
ew
ewewew
is she boutta die
the answer is yes
wtf just happened
ok doing what i used to and putting all my thoughts into one post per ep and you get to guess where my brain is at
9 notes · View notes
theamazinguchihabruhs · 8 years ago
Note
@all bros but sasuke: GO TO FUCKING THERAPY all of you and after u can say shit or not about sasuke >:c (especially madara/itachi)
Family Therapy part 1 
“Today, we are going to burn all our old bridges and build knew ones, stronger ones”
Sasuke rolled his eyes and looked at Izuna, making an indication that this was going to boring. Izuna smiled and nodded before getting hit in the back of the head. He hissed, looking at Itachi who was making notes like a nerd.
“He started” Izuna whispered.
“So, are there any questions before we start?” The man asked, he had this kind expression on his face and it almost looked like a mask, it was hard not to notice.
“Yes” Sasuke raised his hand, as if he was in school, “I actually already go to therapy...so...can I go?”
“No” Itachi responded for the therapist who just smiled kindly, pretending it was funny.
“I don’t think it is for you to decide, is it?” Sasuke asked the man.
“I think you are smart enough to know the answer to that and moral enough to know what the right thing to do is” He gave a supportive nod.
“Okay” Sasuke got up, “Bye suckers” He wanted to walk away, but Shisui pulled him back on the couch.
“I am telling you the moral sense is turned off on this kid” Shisui stated, looking at the therapist.
“It is not even a question, it is a fact” Sasuke admitted, nearly proudly when he leaned in to Shisui, who wrapped his arm around his youngest brother. Little did Sasuke know, it was his typical trick to keep the younger one to sit still and not get away.
“Shall we just start?” Madara suggested.
“Look at you paying attention” Obito turned his head towards Madara, looking impressed.
“Pff, the only thing I actually want to pay for is your silence and...a scotch”
“This is how I know you “ Obito sighed.
“We start with a warm up exercise before we proceed to the emotional side, I want all of you to get loose-” The therapist wasn’t even finished talking when Izuna slit off the couch on to the ground.
“He said get loose” Izuna justified his action.
“Keep him on the ground, where he belongs” Sasuke commented.
“How about we start with an exercise where we pretend to be air dancers-”
“I will stop you right there...what are air dancers? Because I can’t really dance, I mean I can hang around a pole-”
“It is the inflatable tube man” Itachi interrupted Sasuke.
“Yeah, the ones that goes down and then goes up and then down and then up!” Izuna laughed.
“Now quit it, they actually got a lot slower and don’t always go all the way down” Obito stood up making a similar movement.
“This is just a disgrace to dancing” Madara stated, crossing his legs and refusing to stand up.
“I don’t have to do this shit when I am talking to Mr Namikaze”  Sasuke whispered moving weirdly up and down next to Shisui.
“In a way, this makes up for a pretty good workout” Shisui tried to lighten the mood.
“What part of your body are you training, dude...come on” Sasuke hissed, rolling his eyes annoyed. Wasting an entire Sunday afternoon for this crap,  “I can’t believe I wore pants for this”
“Good job boys-”
“Hey, how does Madara get a compliment? He was just sitting the entire time” Izuna complained.
“Don’t be horny for compliments now” Obito said, immediately sitting back down.
“Hey, I was very productive in my mind” Madara yawned, “How long is this going to take? I want to see if I can make happy hour at the bar”
“Oh yes, I could go for a beer right now” Shisui said.
“Nobody is leaving until the Doctor Phopra says so” Itachi stated.
“Phopra...sounds like a blend from Phil and Opera” Sasuke muttered, but got completely ignored.
“Now, I want each of you to draw a number from the jar and then go to your partner, find a nice and comfortable spot in the living room for the next exercise, the ‘feeling wonderland exercise’”  
“Even the name sounds gay “ Sasuke commented, grabbing a number and immediately comparing it to Shisui’s “Damn it” He hissed before looking at Izuna’s who also wasn’t identical.
“You can stop praying, I drew number 2, we are partners” Itachi said.
“No, I have number 21” Sasuke immediately lied.
“Idiot, we are only with six people, at least try to make sense” Shisui smacked Sasuke lightly on the back of the head.
“Switch with me” Sasuke said
“I am paired with Madara”
“Keep your number, sucker” Sasuke got up and set next to Itachi, folding his arms and crossing his legs.
“Now, I want you to hold your partner and pull them closely towards you as if he is your baby you want to protect from the cruel world” The therapist said, walking around the living room to check if everybody was doing the exercise.
Sasuke and Itachi exchanged a serious look and both cracked a smile. Sasuke moved so he was lying down with his head on Itachi’s lap while Itachi stroked his hair.
“Why do you hate this so much? You don’t mind crawling next to me in bed, but now when you are supposed to, it is suddenly a problem?”
“Because it looks weird and stupid” Sasuke answered, “I mean look at everyone…”
The dark eyes examined the room and he wonder how Itachi ever came up with the idea of group therapy. This family had no boundaries to begin with. How did he ever hired a relationship therapist? Where did he find that guy?! On Craigslist?
“Come on, this is for the greater good, to strengthen our bond” Itachi smiled gently as he leaned in to place a kiss on Sasuke’s forehead.
“You are right, we already have the strongest bond in the room, I mean Shisui and Madara? Worst combination ever and I bet Obito doesn’t even know Izuna’s birthday...and they are like cosmic twins or some shit, you know what this means?”
Itachi raised an eyebrow looking rather worried.
“That we are totally going to win this, it is like shooting a baby through the head”
“Okay, first and foremost worst, that’s not how to expression goes, who shoots a baby through the head? It’s disturbing, secondly, this is not a competition” It seemed Itachi’s words were only half heard by the younger Uchiha, he seemed too busy examining the room.
“Yes, it is not a competition because we already won” Sasuke said, causing Itachi to shake his head.
“Just close your eyes and feel my love” Itachi moved his fingers over Sasuke’s face, closing his eyelids.
“It wasn’t instructed to close your eyes” Sasuke whispered.
“I know, I just don’t want you to look at me from that point, I once held my phone like that and it is one ugly angle”
“Wow, you are really opening up” Sasuke held Itachi’s cheek and he opened his eyes, “Do you want to talk about how that makes you feel? “ Itachi looked away exhaling deeply. “No, nissan, you should talk about your insecurities, how does it feel to have people look at you from that angle?”
“How’s it going here?” The therapist asked, sitting on the armrest of the couch.
“Not good, it seems everything coming out of his mouth is either sarcastic or some other way to mock everything” Itachi answered, looking disappointed at Sasuke.
“And why is that, Sasgay-” The entire room scoffed from the therapist’s pronunciation.
“It is Sasuke” Sasuke tried to correct him.
“Sasugay, that’s what I said” He smiled, Sasuke exchanging a look with Itachi.
“Sasugay, don’t avoid the question” Madara teased  from the corner in the room.
“The reason why you don’t feel weird by the fact your head is on Shisui’s crotch is because that is where your head 90% of the time actually is...around people’s dicks”
“Ooh ooh he ran and he scored~ Sorry Maddy!” Obito exclaimed.
“Back to my question, Sasgay, why is it so hard to let yourself be open towards your brother?”
“Because my brother is judgy and this is stupid”
“Explain why this feels stupid to you” The therapist crossed his legs and held on to his clipboard.
“Well, it is stupid because...I...I just don’t like pretending to be vulnerable” Sasuke frowned slightly.
“And why is that?” The therapist asked, narrowing his eyes slightly.
“I don’t know” Sasuke stated.
“I think you do” The therapist said, the entire room was quiet, listening eagerly.
“Because my dad said vulnerability is for weaklings and gutless people” Sasuke sat up, “And you know what, I have felt like a weakling, like a gutless person when mom hurt me, when she hit me and tried to kill me and I couldn’t do anything about it!” He stood up, “And don’t want to relive that!”  With those words he turned around and walked out of the living room, leaving the others behind.
“What happened?” Shisui looked concerned, getting up from the ground.
“He...he opened up” Itachi said, “I am concerned, is this good?”
“Yes, he is opening up” The therapist said.
“I am afraid, his voice sounded like he was about to cry ” Shisui looked at Itachi.
“I am going to check on him” Itachi got up and while he was followed by the others, he walked up the stairs towards Sasuke’s room.
“Otouto?” He called.
“No...not now! I need to be alone…” Itachi frowned by those words and opened the door. His expression turned to anger as he saw Sasuke with one leg out of the window.
“You are trying to get away…”
“No...no...I was just…trying to...commit...suicide?” Sasuke said, looking around him.
“What? Why would you jump out of the window when you have guns?” Izuna looked confused.
“He is trying to get away” Itachi clenched a fist, “Uchiha Waitforit Sasuke...get your ass back downstairs!” He shouted. Sasuke hesitated for a second, looking down the window.
“Don’t even consider escaping!” Itachi hissed.
“I was considering the suicide option…” Sasuke sighed and pulled his leg back in the room.
“Was anything you said even true?” Shisui asked, feeling like he got played.
“Shisui...come on...you have seen me fight” Sasuke rolled his eyes, “I am not vulnerable in any sense”
“Yet you are Itachi’s bitch”  Madara teased.
“Itachi pays the wifi, if you pay the wifi I be your bitch” Sasuke answered when he passed Madara to get back to the living room.
“You prefered to jump out of the second floor than to talk about your feelings!” Itachi snapped when he walked inside the living room, followed by the others.
“I don’t see the big deal I am already talking to Mr Namikaze and frankly I don’t think
I should be here”  Sasuke sat down, leaning his chin on his right knee.
“The big deal is that you keep everything locked up inside and at some point you are going to fall apart and then I have to pick up the pieces, like I do every time!”  Itachi raised his voice and it might have been the tone, or perhaps just the words, but at that point Sasuke looked hurt and for a brief moment it was clearly visible for everyone in the room to see before it was hidden away behind the big, black walls which were his eyes.
“Itachi, that was mean” Shisui commented
“It was bitchy and I am a bitch, but this was too bitchy for me” Madara added.
“No, no, this is good, let all the feelings out! Only then we are able to feel free, do you feel it?” The therapist asked and at this point Itachi was just straight up annoyed by everyone in the room.
“Do ya feel it, Mr.Krabs?” Izuna whispered, but Itachi ignored him in favour of expressing his annoyance.
“No! Because Sasuke doesn’t feel anything, but anger!”
“Look who is shouting!” It appeared quite controversial since Sasuke was shouting now too.
“Stop it, both of you” Shisui pulled Itachi slightly away.
“When do we get to the part where we can straight up talk about what annoys us the most, like how Shisui always supporting the wrong side”
Shisui was about to say something, but the therapist interrupted him.
“Actually, I am glad you brought that up, Itachi”
“You're welcome, at least somebody is taking this seriously” Itachi sat down, leaning back in the chair.
“Because that kind of language is actually counter productive-”
“Ooh snap!” Madara clicked his finger, enjoying Itachi’s annoyance more than he should have.
“Let’s start with the next exercise, I want you guys to sit in a circle” The therapist said.
“This better be good” Madara sighed as he sat down, as everyone was seated the therapist suddenly put his hands on Shisui shoulder, startling him.
“I want each of you to go around the circle and tell that person something that bothers you, but try to avoid words like never and always, instead of that, mention...your feelings”
“Uhm alright…” Shisui looked at Itachi on his right,  “I ‘feel’ like you complain a lot”
“Yes, this is good” The therapist said.
“I wouldn’t have to complain so much if you guys just did things right” Itachi folded his arms.
“Right, sorry I mentioned it” Shisui’s tone was sarcastic.
“Shisui, never apologize for how you feel” The therapist said.
“I thought we were not supposed to say the word ‘never’” Sasuke said, turning his head to the therapist who remained quiet for a couple of seconds.
“Good catch” He said.
“Uhm...okay...Izuna...sometimes you can be very annoying and needy, Madara your harness of assholeness is not appreciated, Obito…I have no problem with you whatsoever, Sasuke…” Shisui was thinking deeply, trying to find the right words,  “I am worry about you, a lot, and it hurts that you don’t realise how much everybody cares about you-”
“Owh right, I am hurting you guys” Sasuke wanted to get up, but Obito put his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder pushing him back down, “I am hungry, at least let me get something to snack on”
“Why do you suddenly feel hungry? You didn’t appear hungry a few minutes” The therapist tapped his finger against his chin.
“Because I wasn’t hungry back then, I am now”  Sasuke gave the therapist an awkward look.
“Or are you feeling sad and you try to progress the sadness by filling up?” He asked seriously.
“If I would have done that, I would not fit through that door” Sasuke stated, “I am hungry so I eat”
“He just wants to put something in his mouth so he would have an excuse to not talk and to put his focus on something else that is far away from his feelings” Itachi said, leaning forwards to look passed Shisui at Sasuke.
“Are you a psychology student?” The therapist seemed genuinely interested in Itachi.
“No, I am Sasuke-ologist” Itachi stated.
“So Sasgay, is that the reason why you eat so much?”
“Bitch, you didn’t, I don’t eat much, I just have a healthy appetite”
“You did not just call the therapist a bitch, apologise”  Obito said strictly.
“What?! No, he is criticising me for eating, a basic human...thing” Sasuke looked away from Obito.
“Sasuke, I am not going to repeat myself, you are in the wrong and you have to apologise”
“This isn’t working!” Sasuke exclaimed, “And honestly, I FEEL like I am being attacked”
“Sasygay, is always good to talk about how you feel”
“And I thought we weren’t supposed to say words like ‘always’”  Sasuke rolled his eyes, “You guys want to know how I really think about all of you, Shisui, you are worried about me? Look at yourself! You are in a terrible relationship, you smoke like half a pack a day, you are always stressed because of work and you wanna know why? Because you aren’t sure if you made the right choice becoming a lawyer because at the end of the day it was just a decision you made to annoy dad because he hated attorney lawyers! And you felt neglected by him!”  Shisui looked confused and the confusion turned into hurt before he looked away, not sure what to say.
“Let’s move on to Mr perfect because everything you do is so good, Itachi, I hate to break it to you, but you are a terrible, terrible brother, you are just like mom, you think you can make a difference by pretending you care about my mental health and shit, but the truth is...at the end of the day, you are not there!  Not for Christmas, for my birthday or for any occasion I actually want you -or I don’t know- NEED YOU around, to be honest, I stopped talking to you...I stopped telling you about my days or the stuff I have been up to because you have become so judgy!” Sasuke took a deep breath, shaking his head slightly.
“You want to connect? You want me to tell you everything I feel? Fine, I feel sad, I feel depressed and I feel sucky! Because everything I do...I fail and you won’t ever understand because everything you do always goes right without any difficulties! I studied weeks for a fucking maths test, only to fail it! Do you know how that feels?! Of course you don’t because you’re a fucking genius”
“You think I had it easy because I am considered smart?! I missed my entire childhood because it was suddenly appropriate to be involved in stupid adult stuff, unlike you, I don’t have memories of packing my bag and going on adventures! Because I couldn’t! Because it was always ‘Itachi, you are smart, you know the right and mature thing to do’ and yes maybe I did, but I didn’t want to, I don’t want to sit here nag and complain and give constant speeches about how family is important...but if I don’t...we won’t last a day” Itachi exhaled deeply, “And right now...I am not even sure I want us to last”
“Madara, you seem to be thinking very deeply, do you have anything to add?” The therapist asked.
“Did I take back my red tie from Hashirama’s place? I can’t recall” Madara seemed lost in thought.
“Let’s not even begin with Madara” Itachi shook his head.
“His entire existence is just...a no” Sasuke added.
“You are very mean and not caring” Shisui sighed.
“The worst part is that you just ignore all of it by drinking booze and fucking your boyfriend” Obito added.
“Hashirama is too good for you, I keep saying it” Sasuke sighed.
“Nah, it is probably upstairs, is it? It was such a nice tie” Madara said, causing everyone to exhale deeply.
“You guys say I am annoying, but if I don’t talk it is going to be very quiet and boring, you don’t realize that! I think if Obito and Madara aren’t home, this house never talks about happy things, so yeah, I try to cheer up the mood and get the conversations going, it is better than having Sasuke be depressed, Itachi complain, Shisui...being boring, that is all I have to say” Izuna said.
“Is it?” Sasuke asked. “Nothing about a certain someone misplacing your stuff?”  Izuna remained quiet and just looked at Shisui.
“I ‘feel’ annoyed when you place my stuff from the table somewhere else and forget...so I lose stuff...expensive stuff” Izuna gritted his teeth slightly.
“We have been over this, if it is important, don’t litter it around, put it in your room” Shisui said.
“I don’t litter it, I place it somewhere...where I can find it” Izuna took a deep breath.
“Shisui is right, put it in your room if you don’t want to lose it”
“I place it wherever I want! And you guys should stop putting it away! It is literally bothering no one when I put it on the counter! NO ONE! Sasuke is right! Itachi is a controlling bitch and he always thinks he is so much better! You are only 2 years older, you are not my mom! Sasuke, fuck off you don’t even have it that bad! Shisui, stop trying to defend everyone and just keep yourself out of it, Madara, I don’t know where your tie is, Obito, nobody has anything bad to say about you because you are an uncle that only comes during christmas with presents, you are never there when somebody needs support and yes I was hurt when you didn’t let me make that T-shirt design and instead when to a fucking marketing team! We are family!”
“I don’t decided the t-shirt designs, but...I guess I could tell the marketing team to consult you next time?” Obito asked.
“Empty promises, I know how to recognise them” Sasuke said, looking at Itachi.  “Nobody has a problem with Obito because his appearance in general is already a miracle, thank you for making time in your busy schedule for your family, that doesn't come first, or second, but third”
“Which rhymes with turd” Izuna added.
“I can’t help that I have to work”
“It’s not a real job, Obito! You make people laugh, how long is that going to continue? Five years tops? And what will you do after that? You didn’t even finish college! You are the one setting the wrong example!”
“Wow, Itachi, back off” Obito said.
“I think I see more of you on the internet then I do in real life” Shisui added.
“I am not complaining, whoever can give me backstage passes to Lady Gaga is awesome” Madara stretched his legs.  
“Madara...don’t even...” Obito sighed. “Why don’t you say something?”
“Well, I don’t hold my thoughts back, I say whatever comes to mind, you all know the things I hate about you and I don’t mind making you guys feel bad about it, I do that everyday, sometimes I just make my assistant text it to you guys so I won’t have to”
“Is that healthy?” I asked
“I don’t know” Shisui responded. A silence emerged the room and it was awkward.
“Well...everything is out” Itachi stated, looking up at the therapist, “What do we do now?”
“How do we fix this?” Shisui asked
“How do we build these stronger bridges?” Izuna added. Everybody was looking at the therapist.
“I...I can’t take it anymore!” He shouted, “You guys are a lost cause! It’s a miracle to me that you guys haven’t killed each other yet!”
“I think because they know they won’t be able to kill me…and the effort should then really come from my side” Sasuke said
“I can poison the tomatoes?” Shisui suggested.
“Mass suicide, we put poison in our soup, we are all done then”  
“No, not everybody wants to die” Itachi said in a harsh tone.
“Not everybody lives for army dick” Obito commented, causing Sasuke to laugh.
“This is the unhealthiest family I have seen, I can’t help you!” The therapist grabbed his bag.
“No wait! You have to!” Shisui said.
“We can’t go on like this!” Itachi shouted.
“I can’t help you...I can’t”
“I wrote you a cheque, you have to, this is your job-”
“NO, I QUIT!” The man shouted and stormed out, slamming the door behind him while everybody could see him run towards his car.
“Wait...I never signed the cheque” Madara made a not caring gesture.
“Okay...I am going to my room” Sasuke stood up.
“What?!” Shisui and Itachi said at the same time.
“What? I am bored” Sasuke stated.
“Are you just going to ignore everything that has been said?” Obito asked.
“ Yes...that exactly my plan”
“No...no, I can’t continue like this” Itachi stood up.
“Wow, niisan, I made a joke about the mass suicide thing-”
“We are going to Mr Namikaze”  Itachi stated and it seemed everybody agreed with him except for Sasuke...who just wanted to walk pantless around the house.
oxoSpecial thanks to @failureoftheyear 
45 notes · View notes
the-shield-of-ares · 8 years ago
Text
the signs IMO
aries: can’t fuckin chill for one goddamn second. everythin is a fight to u. stop yelling im 2 metres away from you. maybe i should be 200000 metres away from you BYE. u need to get ur ass kicked. egoistic bastards. they’re not even that egoistic in reality they’re just big fuckin babies but they gotta put on this dumbass mask so nobody can hurt their stupid fragile feelings. suck a fuck arians
taurus: fuckin sloths. ur not as cool as u think u are. stop acting so fuckin chill when i kno ur dyin on the inside. also fuckin leave the house once a while alright. ever heard of vitamin d? didnt think so. bitch. chocolate ice cream is their religion
gemini: DEAR FUCKIN LORD FORBID WE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS. DEAR FUCKIN LORD FORBID I TALK TO U . fuckin blabbing all the fuckin time. 24/7 non stop. can’t chill for 2 secs eve n if it depended on their life. ur like an eastern european old lady at christmas dear god help me. they also leave the house only when the wifi is down. they go to the palce they kno has free wifi. leave me the hell alone two face d bitches
cancer: fuckin cry babies. always the victim and always has a reason to cry. gets offended because the leaves fall from the trees in autumn. tells at least 20 lies a day. manipulates and cries their way through life. probably through sex too. sissy ass little bitches thinkin they the shit. guess what. ur not. fuckin satan in disguise. no t the cool kind of satan tho. 
leo: do u think about anytihng else other than clothes and being in the spotlight? didnt think so . get off social media and get a grip. this isnt fuckin kim kardashian reality tv show. dumbasses. favorite hobby is throwing shade at ppl they kno through statuses on facebook. doesn’t have a life outside of social media unless they get hammered. put s on glitter to go to the store. has 20+ crushes at the same time and gets heartbroken about each and every one. my god. disgusting
virgo: MY FUCiNG GOD. grown up babies. u is not always right. there’s filth in this world too. get over it. and dont bring the vacuum cleaner to the party pls thanx. nobody is interested in shakespeares gay ass poems either. fuck off vorgis. lubes their dick and ass with hand sanitizer
libra: BITCH YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL. HAVE U EVER HEARD OF STATING UR OPINION WITHOUT GIVING A SHIT. real life words i’ve heard come from a libra “have you tried charming them” BUH BYE. fake ass bitches
scorpio: calm down satan princess/ this isnt hell. and its also healthy to let go of grudges. please dont kill me because i dont like cats. also stop staring at people like they killed your family in front of your eyes. fuckin freaks 
sagittarius: def not as cool as you think you are. def not the party animal u say u are. stop bein a fuck up and a little bitch and settle down for ONE FUCKIN THING IN YOUR LIFE. also u not as philosophical as u think, no real facts just fancy vocabulary. likes big words cuz they think it makes them smart. it doesnt. suck my dick sag fags
capricorn: dear fucking lord. all of u stay the FUCK AWAY FROM ME. always ready to fuk u up without even listening to u first. think they kno what u saying before u even say it. they have a funny way of twisting ur words. shows the convos with u to all of their friends. pretentious little fucks. theyre gonna gauge ur eyes out for asking if they r ok when they’re sad. then they gonna flip out cuz ur “never there for them” or “don’t pay attention to them” and then they gonna go like nothing ever happened a while later. fuck u honestly. fuck u in the ass capricorns. fuckin spawns of satan
aquarius: def not emotionless. definitely too fuckin sissy to show their tru emotions. will wear a dress made out of plastic flowers and shit just to show their “UNIQUE INTELLECTUAL REBEL SIDE”. fuck off aquas . fuck off. their world crashes down when their intellectuality and opinions are being questioned . fuck off alright u and ur dumbass lana del ray aesthetics. they prolly run a hipster blog too. ew. definitely has a poster of a sexy alien in their room
pisces: D R A M A QUEENS. attention whores, m y god have you ever heard of privacy????????????????????????? THE WHOLE WORLD DOESNT HAVE TO KNO ALL OF UR PERSONAL SHIT. if they got a problem with you theyre gonna drag you to a crowd of ppl and start their shit there. god forbid they talk to you alone about it. they all just wanna be super duper artistic but all they do is fuckin zone out and day dream about some gay shit prolly. i dont know. dont wanna go into their heads. i love and respect myself too much to wanna see whats goin on in a pisces head.  they all post pics of their collar bones and their “90′s pastel grunge torn up jeans” on social media. no matter what happens they are always the victim, and everybody hurts them. fuck off and grow a pair and tell it how it is aight. sick and tired of ur bullshit
266 notes · View notes
vincentsphone · 8 years ago
Note
1, 4, 6, 7, 12, 13, 15, 18, 20, 29, 34, 38, 39, 46, 47, 48, 56, 61, 67, 77, 79, 87, 92, Love you~
1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?
more milk, i like my cereal soggy
4: how do you take your coffee/tea?
depends on the type of tea, usually black. 
i drink milk with a splash of coffee. 
6: do you keep plants?
no but my mom does
7: do you name your plants?
no 
12: what's your favorite planet?
ive always liked saturn from since when i was a kid
13: what's something that made you smile today?
lol
15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!
Neutron stars can spin at a rate of 600 rotations per second.
18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.
i’m always the one catching my friends do dumb/funny things
20: what's your favorite eye color?
i’ve always been biased towards green eyes
29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?
@arashikuro​ tells me about h!p groups and the stuff they go through and i love listening to her be so passionate about it
34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?
its a stuffed duck plush that sings. it has a blue hat and apron and it’s name is ordie which is derived from the persian word for duck. i still have him
38: tell us about your pet peeves!
certain sounds, like people chewing, things being scraped, tapping fingers, etc., slow wifi, cant think of anything else
39: what color do you wear the most?
black. my friends call me the grim reaper from goblin bc i wear so much black
46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.
i could, but then i’d have to punish you
47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?
kaleh pacheh
48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?
as a kid i really feared clowns and bugs. i still fear clowns and bugs.
56: what are some things you find endearing in people?
when people are funny and have the same horrible sense of humour as me, when people ask if i’m ok, also if they give nice hugs
61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?
i gave my friend an i
stupid gift i’ve received once i received a tiny pack of pocky.
not even the boxes.
just like
one of the tiny packets it comes in. 
67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?
it makes me want to blast round and round from goblin and walk around with my friend in slomo while holding a bag of green onions
77: pink or yellow lemonade?
u gonna kill me but
yellow.
79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?
this
87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?
star wars, back to the future, if u an arashi fan pikanchi 
92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?
i have a pile of cheese with a few sprinkles of pasta. 
thanks bae
3 notes · View notes
andystanberg · 8 years ago
Text
~ still not gay ~
Word Count: 2 800
Genre: chat fic, coming out, coming to terms with sexuality, humour
Pairing(s): phan, tiny mention of kickthestickz
Warnings: swearing, so many spelling/grammar mistakes (all on purpose as it’s a chat fic), mentioned homophobia, sexual humour (not a lot)
Summary:
crabstickzzz has added PJ to the chat. PJ: what? dannyboy: chris and co. think im gay
A/N Shout out to the (formerly) ~ still not gay ~ chat, thanks for not believing I was straight. (Loosely based off my own unconventional coming out.)
AUGUST 12TH
dan is gay
crabstickzzz has added PJ to the chat.
PJ: what?
dannyboy: chris and co. think im gay
PJ: you are.
crabstickzzz: SUCK IT HOWELL
LouiseP: Chris, Dan clearly isn’t ready for blowjobs yet.
dannyboy: IM NOT GAY
PJ: sure.
crabstickzzz: wat about ur crush on phil
AmazingPhil: His what now
dannyboy: i dont have a crush on phil
PJ: sure.
dannyboy: im straight guys cmon
PJ has changed the chat name to dan is in denial and gay.
dannyboy: oh for fucks sake
dannyboy: seriously guys im 100% sure im straight
PJ: sure.
-
AUGUST 15TH
dan is in denial and gay
AmazingPhil: Why is the name always about Dan
LouiseP: This group chat is dedicated to whether or not Dan is gay. And memes.
crabstickzzz: thats all we talk about so theres no point in creating another
PJ: i’ve been in this group chat for two days and it’s true.
dannyboy: why does it matter what i am
crabstickzzz: bc u wont admit ur gay! we r teaching u to love and accept urself 4 who u r!!!
dannyboy: bullshit
AmazingPhil: Maybe we should lay off Dan a bit
dannyboy: thank you filip
AmazingPhil: Never mind please continue
dannyboy changed the chat name to i hate you all
-
Private chat between dannyboy and AmazingPhil.
AmazingPhil: You’re not mad, are you?
dannyboy: no
AmazingPhil: Sure?
dannyboy: its fine. theyre joking and having fun. i just dont get why they care so much about my sexuality though
AmazingPhil: Maybe Crabstickzzz and PJ have a crush on you and Louise is trying to wingman both???
dannyboy: yeah right. can you imagine?
AmazingPhil: You never know
dannyboy: for starters, nobody has, or ever had, or ever will have a crush on me, and secondly, crabstickzzz and pj are dating
AmazingPhil: WHAT? WHEN? HOW?
dannyboy: well i dont know for sure but cmon
AmazingPhil: Oh good. I thought I had missed their big reveal
AmazingPhil: Also don’t be so sure about the crush thing
dannyboy: what? who has a crush on me?!
dannyboy: PHIL LESTER ANSWER ME
-
NOVEMBER 20TH
i hate you all
dannyboy: GUYS OH MY GOD DID YOU SEE THE PIC ZAC EFRON JUST POSTED
LouiseP: Who’s Zack?
PJ: oh boy.
dannyboy: HOW DARE YOU! ZAC**** IS THE ACTOR OF TROY BOLTON AKA MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
AmazingPhil: I JUST SAW IT TOO HE LOOKS SO GOOD
dannyboy: I KNOW RIGHT?????
LouiseP: daNIEL
PJ: HAH KNEW IT.
dannyboy: what
crabstickzzz: ur not good at being straight, my friend
dannyboy: oh come on! i may be straight but im not BLIND!
PJ: sure.
dannyboy: phil back me up!
AmazingPhil: Dan has a point.
crabstickzzz: spoil sport
crabstickzzz has kicked AmazingPhil from the chat.
dannyboy: OI
LouiseP: Chris, add him back in.
crabstickzzz: fineeee only cause ur scary
crabstickzzz has added AmazingPhil to the chat.
dannyboy has changed the chat name to welcome back fil.
AmazingPhil has changed the chat name to chris sucks.
dannyboy: i second that
crabstickzzz: wat did i do???
PJ: you’re really asking yourself that?
-
NOVEMBER 25TH
chris sucks
LouiseP: It’s been five days are you all dea?
crabstickzzz: yep im so dea
LouiseP: Oh shut up, like you can talk.
PJ: he never stops talking. don’t encourage him, for my sake.
crabstickzzz: do not
AmazingPhil: Do too
PJ: do too.
dannyboy: do too
crabstickzzz: alright i get it
LouiseP: Do too.
LouiseP: Whoops.
crabstickzzz: watevr
crabstickzzz: so dan have u figured out that ur gay yet
dannyboy: for the last time, im like 99% sure im straight
PJ: that’s 1% less than last time.
crabstickzzz: progress!!!
dannyboy: no its just that if evan peters wanted to fuck me, i wouldnt say no
LouiseP: Hardly anyone would.
dannyboy: see? it doesnt prove anything
AmazingPhil: well…
dannyboy: I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE
PJ: welcome to the dark side.
AmazingPhil: I just go for whatever side is winning! Can’t blame a man for surviving
dannyboy: thats not the saying
AmazingPhil: It is now!
dannyboy: weve been over this! you cant steal sayings and try to change them
AmazingPhil: I just did
dannyboy: why am i friends with you
crabstickzzz: bc u like him
dannyboy changed the chat name to ~ still not gay ~.
PJ: sure.
LouiseP: You say that a lot.
PJ: it’s because it’s needed. if dan didn’t deny the blatantly obvious, i wouldn’t have to be sarcastic all the time.
crabstickzzz: dont lie to urself
-
NOVEMBER 27TH
~ still not gay~
dannyboy: oh my god oh m y god
AmazingPhil: What?!
dannyboy: fcukin evan peters in ahs
AmazingPhil: ARE YOU WATCHING WITHOUT ME
dannyboy: maybe…
AmazingPhil: BETRAYAL
crabstickzzz: gayyyyyy
dannyboy: fuck off let me have this chris
PJ: yeah chris, fuck off.
dannyboy: thanks pj
PJ: it’s okay. also...
dannyboy: what
PJ: gayyyyy.
AmazingPhil: Okay but Dan has a point
LouiseP: True!
dannyboy: phil and louise are my only friends
crabstickzzz: danyul they both like guys doesnt that say something
dannyboy: psh whatever
-
DECEMBER 25TH
~ still not gay ~
dannyboy: ugh im stuck with sucky wifi away from home :(
AmazingPhil: Aw! Does that mean no skype tonight?
dannyboy: im using my data rn and its so slow, skype would be a nightmare. sorry phil
AmazingPhil: I’ll see you when you get back, then.
dannyboy: yeah :)
crabstickzzz: ugh stop flirting
PJ: yeah, get your own chat.
LouiseP: I think it’s cute.
dannyboy: yeah okay im leaving
PJ: he didn’t deny the flirting part though.
-
JANUARY 1ST
~ still not gay ~
dannyboy: new years and no one to kiss wow what a surprise
AmazingPhil: My offer still stands ;)
LouiseP: WAIT, WHAT OFFER?!
crabstickzzz: yeah wat offer
PJ: is no one gonna..?
PJ: okay fine I guess I’ll have to do it.
PJ: gayyyyyyy
AmazingPhil: I wish
dannyboy: keep dreaming philly ;)
LouiseP: I ship it.
PJ: join the club.
dannyboy: can anybody read what the title of this chat is
crabstickzzz: we can we just dont care
PJ: the only reason no one has changed it is because of its irony.
-
JANUARY 12TH
Private chat between dannyboy and AmazingPhil
dannyboy: ahH EVAN PETERS
AmazingPhil: Dan are you sure you’re not gay
dannyboy: well i mean i have liked girls before so even if i did like guys i wouldnt be gay
AmazingPhil: Bi?
dannyboy: maybe idk
dannyboy: but anyway EVAN PETERS
-
JANUARY 16TH
~ still not gay ~
dannyboy: this chat is so quiet
AmazingPhil: For the first time in forever
dannyboy: did you literally just reference Frozen
LouiseP: What’s wrong with Frozen?!
AmazingPhil: Yeah Dan what’s wrong with Frozen
PJ: he probably thinks its gay lmao.
crabstickzzz: dans literally the epitome of no homo
dannyboy: wow what a big word you used there chris
dannyboy: do you even know what it means
dannyboy: also i’ll have you know i have proudly never said no homo
AmazingPhil: I’ve tested that ;)
PJ: WOAH WHAT DID PHIL JUST MAKE A DIRTY JOKE?
LouiseP: PHIL, I THOUGHT I RAISED YOU TO BE A GOOD CHILD.
crabstickzzz: DAN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM
dannyboy: wouldnt you like to know
crabstickzzz: wht te h fcuk
PJ: … GAYYYYYYY.
LouiseP: I second that.
AmazingPhil: I hope that
dannyboy: that doesnt make sense
PJ: okay, straight boy, he meant ‘fil hopes you’re gay, as in attracted to boys, no “no homo”’.
dannyboy: im not an idiot
crabstickzzz: debateble
dannyboy: debatable* dumbass
-
JANUARY 30TH
~ still not gay ~
dannyboy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHIL MY BEST FRIEND
LouiseP: Happy birthday! Wow, January went by quickly.
dannyboy: yeah can you believe that Phil Lester created January and the world was so hyped for his birthday it sped up time
PJ: oh my god, guys, holy shit.
crabstickzzz: what
PJ: DAN DIDN’T TALK ABOUT HOW BIRTHDAYS ARE A STEP CLOSER TO DEATH. AM I ALIVE?
crabstickzzz: hoLY FUCK UR RIGHT
LouiseP: Dan, you feeling okay?
dannyboy: jeez sorry for wishing my friend a happy birthday
AmazingPhil: I thought it was sweet
crabstickzzz: yeah we get it u love each other
PJ: they’re so cute but so gross.
dannyboy: i dont like phil cmon guys
AmazingPhil: I thought we had something :( you even forgot to talk about the inevitability of death for me :((((
PJ: hey, at least he didn’t say he doesn’t like guys or reference the chat name.
-
FEBRUARY 3RD
~ still not gay ~
dannyboy: ugh people suck
AmazingPhil: What happened?
dannyboy: nothing
PJ: sure.
LouiseP: You can tell us, Dan.
crabstickzzz: as long as its not blackmail worthy bc in that case dont be so sure
LouiseP: Chris.
crabstickzzz: i was joking, ofc he can tell us
dannyboy: nvm, i said it was nothing
-
Private chat between dannyboy and AmazingPhil
AmazingPhil: Seriously what happened
dannyboy: one of my old friends from uni keeps asking me when im getting a girlfriend or making jokes about my lack of love life every time he sees me and im sick of it
AmazingPhil: You’ve complained about him before and it you never seemed too bothered
dannyboy: yeah well…
AmazingPhil: ?
dannyboy: i know it shouldnt bother me but this time when i tried to ignore all of his questions about getting a girlfriend or whatever he said “you’re gonna turn gay and be alone”
dannyboy: like i know gay isnt an insult but at the same time it bugs me? is that wrong?
AmazingPhil: I don’t think so. Maybe it was just that he said something like that in the first place
dannyboy: maybe… or like some internalised homophobia idk i feel shitty
dannyboy: im just so tired of everyone asking me when im gonna get a relationship
dannyboy: my mum has been making hints at it lately
AmazingPhil: I love your mum but everyone should back off
dannyboy: this is cheesy but you’re the best
AmazingPhil: No problem <3
dannyboy: <3
-
FEBRUARY 4TH
~ still not gay ~
dannyboy: youll all be happy to know that i almost accidentally kissed a guy today
crabstickzzz: o H YM GOD DANYUL WELCOME TO THE GAY SIDE
dannyboy: a l m o s t + a c c i d e n t a l l y
PJ: sure.
dannyboy: i thought you had stopped with the sarcastic sures
PJ: keep dreaming, howell.
crabstickzzz: shut up time for the important qs
crabstickzzz: was it fil
LouiseP: Please for the love of god let it be Phil.
AmazingPhil: Let what be me
dannyboy: they’re freaking out over the almost kiss
AmazingPhil: Oh! Sorry guys, it wasn’t me
crabstickzzz: NOOOOOOOOO
PJ: sure.
LouiseP: Liesssssssssssssss.
dannyboy: it was this cute guy who ive been friends with for a while and we were messing around and whispering in each others ears to waste time during some meeting that was probably important and i turned just as he was whispering something and our lips almost touched
dannyboy: we jumped back just in time
PJ: there was so much gay in that that I can’t even form a coherent reason as to why it was gay.
AmazingPhil: Can you believe that Dan cheated on me :(((((()(09()
crabstickzzz: CUTE GUY? WHISPERING IN EARS? HOWL U R GAY OK
PJ: good news, chris just said my reasons for me.
LouiseP: Who’s the lucky guy?
dannyboy: first of all, weve been over this. i know when someone is cute, guy or girl. second of all, we were whispering creepy stuff like “mayonnaise” to try and freak each other out and third of all, not telling because id know you guys would stalk him
AmazingPhil: I know who it is ;)
PJ: i bet it’s phil.
dannyboy: nope. i said CUTE guy
AmazingPhil: HEY!
dannyboy: kidding. but no, it wasnt phil
-
FEBRUARY 8TH
~ still not gay ~
LouiseP: Alright, for today we put a halt on the usual Dan is gay discourse.
dannyboy: thank you friend
PJ: why? did someone die?
crabstickzzz: BREAKING TRADITION IS NOT ALLWD!!!
LouiseP: Shush, let me talk about a cute guy I saw today.
LouiseP: Anyway how do I ask him out?
AmazingPhil: Wait until Valentines and anonymously get him a rose.
dannyboy: ask him out or let your feelings pile up and watch him inevitably move on because you’re too scared to make a move
PJ: talk to him on the internet until you become best friends and be gay oops i meant straight for each other.
crabstickzzz: love poems via mysterious skype calls no one gets to know the contents of
LouiseP: The last two are unrealistic. Who talks to a stranger on the internet??? Stanger danger!1!!1!
dannyboy: fil i think theyre picking on us
AmazingPhil: Fair enough
dannyboy: YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE
-
FEBRUARY 11TH
~ still not gay ~
dannyboy: i cant wait to get nothing on valentines
LouiseP: Same.
AmazingPhil: Same
PJ: same.
crabstickzzz: sam
crabstickzzz: samr*
crabstickzzz: SAME****
dannyboy: this chat is so depressing
dannyboy: also learn how to spell
crabstickzzz: np
crabstickzzz: no*
-
FEBRUARY 13TH
~ still not gay ~
dannyboy changed the chat name to ~ not gay, but bi ~
crabstickzzz: I KNEW IR
dannyboy: shush
crabstickzzz: I FCUKIGN KNEWS IT
dannyboy: you saw nothing
crabstickzzz: YOURE BI
dannyboy: i was right about not being gay though
crabstickzzz: BUT I KNEW YOU WERENT STRAIGHT
PJ: WOAH WOAH WAIT WHAT’S HAPPENIGN OH MT FGDPL.
LouiseP: PJ ISN’T USING FULL STOPS!!! HE’S BROKEN!
LouiseP: DAN, YOU’VE BROKEN ALL OF US!!!
dannyboy: I SAID I WAS 99% SURE I WAS STRAIGHT
crabstickzzz: I WAS RIGHT AND YOU WERE WRONG
dannyboy: NO YOU THOUGHT I WAS GAY
dannyboy: WE WERE ALL WRONG
PJ: S T I L L.
AmazingPhil: This is so amusing
LouiseP: WHY ISN’T PHIL JOINING OUR FREAKING OUT?!
dannyboy: … might have came out already yesterday maybe haha dont kill me
PJ: WHAT?
crabstickzzz: FUK U FIL AND DANYUL
LouiseP: AND YOU’RE ONLY TELLING US NOW??????
dannyboy: yeah well coming out to phil was the first time ive ever done it so it was a little emotionally exhausted and i shook so much that i needed to recharge
AmazingPhil: He was so nervous but I’m proud of him
PJ: yeah, same.
LouiseP: I second that!
crabstickzzz: I FUCKING NKEW TOU WERE GAY
AmazingPhil: I thought we had gotten past this bit
dannyboy: chris, read the new name. im still not gay, just extremely bi
crabstickzzz: sry but i cant believe ur finally coming out
LouiseP: If you don’t mind me asking, what made you realise you were bi?
dannyboy: it all started with this one guy in high school who was so fucking hot and i had like a teensy bit of a crush on him and omg he was so pretty and one time i saw him literally leaning against a wall with his hair messed up and i died
dannyboy: i thought it was a one-time thing and i wasnt really sure if it counted considering ive only ever been attracted to girls before that, but recently ive just come to terms with that and the other thing
crabstickzzz: WHICH IS
dannyboy: nnnnnnnothing
PJ: sure.
AmazingPhil: Ha you guys aren’t on best friend level, so of course you don’t know
crabstickzzz: r00d
dannyboy: dont worry he doesnt know either, hes just being a little shit
AmazingPhil: Love you too
LouiseP: Can you imagine how much we would’ve freaked out over Phil’s message in August?
PJ: seasons change and people do too, apparently.
-
FEBRUARY 14TH
~ not gay, but bi ~
dannyboy: [image attached] someone sent me this chocolate rose with a note saying “- Voldemort” i wonder who that could be??!?!?
PJ: yeah, can anyone think of a super pale nerd who likes Harry Potter almost as much as Dan does and knows where he lives??? I’m coming up blank!!!1!!
LouiseP: Awwww, that’s so sweet!
crabstickzzz: barf
AmazingPhil: Thanks Louise I spent 2 whole pounds on it
dannyboy: spending so much for his boyfriend ew sap stop wasting money
PJ: bOYFRIEND?
crabstickzzz: WAIT I THOUGHT U 2 WERE JUST BEING WEIRD AND PLATONIC COUPLEY LIKE U ALWAYS R AND UR TELLING ME UR DATING
AmazingPhil: It turns out that the “other thing” Dan mentioned was him liking me
dannyboy: and also staring at his lips whenever he talks to me and thinkingaboutkissingthemmaybehah
LouiseP: CONGRATS, GUYS!
PJ: this is like my OTP.
crabstickzzz: *teenage girl voice* OH MY GOD MY OTP
dannyboy: lets leave before they start being weird
AmazingPhil: They’re our friends, don’t worry so much
crabstickzzz: so like did your first kiss involve tongue or
AmazingPhil: Yeah, bye.
crabstickzzz: he didnt say no
LouiseP: cHRIS.
dannyboy: if you must know, it involved NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
dannyboy has left the chat.
AmazingPhil has left the chat.
PJ: …there was definitely tongue.
LouiseP: Agreed.
220 notes · View notes
heartofheir · 8 years ago
Note
Psst. You know why I'm here. Do eeeeet. :3c
fcuk
1,2 3 and 10 are done! :D
4: Do you find it easy to trust others?not really lmao
5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?knitting and listening to the off topic podcast
6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?my dogs and @themysteriousballetanon 7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?lie down on the floor, cry and than kick their ass8: Are you close with your dad?kinda, we are both have the same kind of humour and personality which is p cool 
9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?ye i smooch my doggos when i got bk from work last night
11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?coffee, its got some water in it so ill be fine
12: Do you like hickeys?ye
13: What time do you go to bed?5:30am oops
14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?ya
15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?nah im quicker with both hands ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
16: Do you always answer your texts?yea unless i forget or fall asleep 
17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?Y U P
18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?yesterday; we all went to the beach it was top notch
19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?my dogs and my siblings even though they are all little shits
20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?probs something about being tired af
21: Is anyone else in the room with you?i hope not….
22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?i guess?
23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?nope
24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?i think so
25: In the past week, have you cried?yea
26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?maroon
27: Do people ever call you by your last name?yea a variation of it that i cant say cause i dont wanna give my last name out to the interwebs lmao
28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?possibly 
29: Do you have a best friend?yea kinda
30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?nope
31: Who was your last call/text message from?my manager telling me what time i start work tomorrow 
32: Are you mad at anyone?i dont get mad i just get tired��
33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?yea
34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?21
35: How many more days until your birthday?im not doing math go away
36: Do you have any summer plans yet?nope just working alot r.i.p me
37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?ye! :D
38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?yup one of them doesnt even know im gay lmao
39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?ye
40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?kinda?
41: Do you think age matters in relationships?if theres a giant age gap than yea it does
42: Are you available?nope! :D
43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?no idea my dude
44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?so many!! i wanna get an industrial, another helix ring, maybe my tongue, nipples lol, belly button and my second lot of normal ear piercings plus alot more ear ones
45: Do you believe exes can be friends?it can be awkward af but yea
46: Do you regret anything?lots of things lmao
47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?im running out of mango ice tea :(
48: Did you ever lose a best friend?yea 
49: Was your last kiss a mistake?yes and no?
50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?she already said yes! (miraculously) 
51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?yep
52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?he was an ass to me last time we spoke so no
53: What was the last thing you ate?i got one of the chefs at work to make me gnocchi it was delicious 
54: Did you get any compliments today?nope but one of my new coworkers last night said i was really good at my job!! :O
55: Where are you going on your next vacation?no where so far, but one of my friends wants to go to rottnest at some point though
56: Do you own anything from other countries?ye! my auntie went to france and brought me bk a really pretty kitty mask not a furry lol
57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?i guess its even but more so guys
58: Where have you lived most of your life?i use to travel around when i was younger but now ive been in the same spot for 10 years I NEED TO L E A V E
59: When was the last time you took a long drive?i wasnt the one driving but it was when i was a babby and we drove from my hometown to perth took us 5 hours
60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?nope
61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?nah but our house was tomatoed once
62: Who do you text the most?it changes all the time
63: What was the last movie you saw?moana! i loved it!!
64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? i dont actually know
65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?none
66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?nope
67: Do you curse around your parents?not on purpose it just slips out
68: Are you happy with where you live?nope
69: Picture of yourself?
70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?im a jealous hoe so just monogamous
71: Have you ever been dumped?no
72: What do you most like about making out?i dont think a guy being like a mcfucking vacumn cleaner counts as making out so i wouldnt know
73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?yes but again i dont think it counts as making out
74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?i just go ‘fuck it' and do it (but only if i know they cool with it)
75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?hands and backs, also necks
76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?a friend i use to go to school with
77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?nah
78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?nope
79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?pickup lines im a sucker for them
80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?ye! i loves kids
81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?yea
82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?nope 
83: Do you miss your last sweetie?fuck no
84: Last time you slow danced with someone?MCFUCKING YR 9 there was this guy who liked me since yr 7 and me and him were both in dance class at school and OF COURSE the dance teacher put us together for the slow dance performance i left dance and moved to drama cause it just got way too uncomfortable 
85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?ye! im dating a furry from the internet
86: How can I win your heart?you already have ;0
87: What is your astrological sign?cancer! karkat
88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?the same thing i was doing at 11pm
89: Do you cook?ye but i tend to set things on fire
90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?ye
91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?i dont have to wish :D
92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?id prefer a monogamous relationship
93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?not a clue my dude
94: Name four things that you wish you had!more garlic bread from work (we make the BEST gb), mango ice tea, unlimited wifi and a phone that can actually work
95: Are you a player?of games, yes; of people, no
96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?nope
97: Are you a tease?ive been told i am but i dont mean to lmao
98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?i saw @miss--kiwi yesterday at work and than she was mean 2 me even after i gave her gb :
99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?what even is love
100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?id date the FUCK outta @themysteriousballetanon 
101: Hugs or Kisses?both! oxox
102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?normally yes but sometimes ill have a rare moment of bravery lmao
103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?height
104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?may or may not be a kink for me LMAO
105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?fuck no
106: Do you flirt a lot?i have no idea how so sometimes ppl think im flirting when im being friendly, or think im being friendly when im flirting
107: Your last kiss?sometime in September in the back of a car with a VACUUM APPARENTLY 
108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?nope
109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?only my doggos cause they deserve all the kisses
110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?my girlfriend even though im not into kissing furries :3c
111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?my dogs and hopefully teanii
112: Does someone like you currently?i would hope my gf does 
113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?ye!! :D
114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?flings really arent that great
115: Ever made out with just a friend?ye
116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?i thrive off affection so id prefer a relationship
117. you didnt give me a question to answer and ur asleep rn so imma use this spot to say ur a gotdamn cutie
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