#can u believe it took me 2 months to get to the very thing i made the blog for

[ask-trialtale]

is the skeleton judging you? the lazy not the spaghetti one

Trial begins.

Askbox is open.

[thekirammanjinx]

idk if you wanna get rambling asks abt arcane so if not im so sorry pls ignore me but im throwin hands with the next person to call caitlyn a fascist LKJFKJLKFJKFJF like,,,, im sorry but u completely ignored how she didnt want the power and how she didnt want things to continue, she literally says the police state has gone on months longer than she ever wanted and LITERALLY the worst thing cait does is,,,, before she's even in power LKJFLKJFKLJF like the use of the grey i the worst thing she does, every other pressure of power is done,,,, by ambessa with caitlyn following at the start but very obviously already working to get out of her grief following her when act 2 starts lkgdkjdsglkjdsg like even when shes in her evil era, shes reforming the prison, shes trying to keep the peace, shes only lashing out when her grief is spun about by jinx and tht is constantly happening bcuz shes become the face of the revolution and Ambessa is constantly manipulating her to stoke the flames of her rage dglkjsldkjglksjgd even at her WORST, cait tried her best to mitigate deaths, to remove only those connected to jinx, and wanted to press for the release of the police state to try and calm the people,,,,, and then when she does give up her power, she literally HANDS IT TO SEVIKA to give her seat on the council, loses an EYE to protect her people, and is probably lauded as a war hero, which is why she won't be investigated like my girl was never a full blown fascist dictator, she was literally trying to wear the mantle her mother left behind her, literally shown in the scenes where she dons the cape, trying to be the person she had to be as a leader in the council where she has to be someone other than herself, something shes always loathed about topside, and she hated it, hated herself, the entire fucking time lgkjksjgdlkjgd i'm not excusing her actions, she fucked up and she will probably spend the rest of her life atoning bcuz thats just who she is but like the lack of nuanced thought when it comes to caitlyn in this fandom is so wild, esp since shes a narrative foil to jinx and so many people love jinx

This got long, ofc, thank you for the discussion anon:

Its like when people call her "kkkiramman" like nothing she did or believed ever aligned with the extremity of that hate group. She definitely became less sympathetic and understanding and colder, but she never full on hated zaun in it's entirety. We can still visibly see her reservations. She did have her hand and role to play but to believe she in anyway compares is absolute blasphemous.

We can hold caitlyn accountable without being god awful extremist about it.

People want to throw alot of buzz words around. But let's be for real for a moment and talk about how ambessa utilized and took advantage of caitlyn's grief to groom her into this person who would write off ambessa war crimes. The way ambessa continued to twist the knife and dangle jinx like a carrot in front of Cait.

Ambess orchestrating the attack on the memorial was the first match lit. Like she did not give a single fuck the collateral to get what she wanted. She took someone she could manipulate in her conquest to start a war so piltover would be forced to make the weapons she desired.

When we see Caitlyn waver in front of ambessa "the sword cuts both ways" ambessa is quick with her trained manipulation. Always coaxing the flames of caitlyn's hatred for jinx. Making sure that she can't even begin to consider if it would be worth it in the end. But also ambessa brought her this far so backing out now would've felt like a waste. Truly a defeat. She would've pushed vi away for nothing, in her mind.

Caitlyn is not absolved of her crimes. She literally says this herself?! Hello people. But people who write her off as irredeemable make my head spin.

If you think saying "she grew up privileged and had the luxury of grieving" suddenly makes every emotion in her go away then maybe you shouldn't be watching any shows or consuming media. Like the class war between piltover and zaun is very important but that's not what the take away is supposed to be and so many people miss that. Everyone wants to think they're truly fighting some irl classist war when they dont extend any nuance to Cait.

"She faced one death and couldn't handle it" girl she faced one murder, by jinx that she believes she could've prevented. She faced being abducted from her own bathroom by jinx. Like jinx truly terrorized her, yall expected her not to see red when it came to jinx. Maybe if they added little squiggly and distortions people would get the message that she was traumatized by jinx.

If this were any other show "the mental illness made them do it" would not be a write off for jinx.

I guess it's fine if silco and jinx terrorize their own people in zaun because they're on the same class level?

I love jinx but I wish people would look at her critically. Look at why she's such an interesting character. Jinx and Caitlyn are so much foils but people don't get that. Caitlyn is really wearing the crimes of every enforcer on her shoulder, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if fandom personally blamed her for killing vi parents.

I think we always saw that caitlyn was never too far gone which made every complacency hurt more. Wanting for her to wake up from her blinded rage that had her being ambessa accomplice, so to speak, so to say she is irredeemable... i cannot.

Someone will misread this and think I'm not holding caitlyn accountable or that I'm dismissing her actions. Which I'm not.

[forbebeandjam]

omg can't wait for audrey's!!!!! thank youuuuuu (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）

Fear | Audrey Lane x Fem Reader | Fluff

Summary: a small misunderstanding leads you and your girlfriend, Audrey to end up on bad terms. Three months later, you realize how much you love each other.

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: a bit angst. Brain tumor mention.

A/N: sorry if it’s a bit unrealistic. I know it’s not my best work. I’m not a medic or doctor… enjoyyyy •u•

~🫧♥︎🫧~

You and Audrey had been working nonstop on a new K-pop choreography. Being a part of the Jam Republic dance crew has been a milestone in your career. You went from being a small and heavily criticized TikTok dancer who covered K-pop dance to a successful choreographer.

Having Nick reach out to you to be part of this project was perfect as he had also contacted your girlfriend, Audrey. You couldn't believe that you and Audrey got to dance together and spend time together as well.

However your schedules were packed and after the show, there were some things you two couldn't do together. She was booked doing the brand new show Street Dance Girls Fighter 2 and you were booked creating new choreographies and interviews.

One day you finally got to see her but you were too tired. She seemed to be really excited to hang out with you and you were just thinking of going home.

"What if we take a walk? and then we can go camping," she suggested but you shook your head.

"Sorry, Audrey. I'm drained and I just want to lay down," you said bluntly. One thing about you is that you could be very oblivious to others' feelings when you weren't feeling well... not to mention minor anger issues that almost caused you major trouble with Mannequeen.

"Well, what if we just go for some ice cream? Or maybe something to eat?" She said once again with her bubbly voice trying to get you out of bed and spend quality time together. It's Audrey. She was always bubbly and you lived for her but at this moment, tiredness hit you like a truck.

"Jeez, I said no. I'll just be in my room," you said in an aggravated tone leaving her behind on the couch.

You took painkillers for your headache and as you lay on your bed you heard soft sobs making your heart clench at the sounds. You know you fucked up. You promised to never make her cry and you just did. As you tried to get up to apologize, you felt your body collapse on the floor and you were unable to get up. Your vision immediately became dark.

-

You woke up and saw a bright light. You definitely weren't home. Your house was green and the lights were almost always dimmed. This room was too blue.

Your eyes tried to adjust and you groaned. You felt someone grip your hand tightly but the voice was almost unrecognizable as your ears also tried adjusting to the noise.

"Audrey..." was the first thing that escaped your lips. You called her name. You wanted to apologize and when your vision finally cleared up, you saw her sitting on the side of the hospital bed holding your hand and asking if you were okay. Her eyes were red and teary as well as her nose as she let out sniffles.

You felt your heart clench at her sight. You made her cry twice. You never meant for any of this to happen. As you tried to get up your poising headache pulled you back to the bed.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby. Please forgive me," you said as a tear escaped your eye. Her head shook repeatedly.

"Don't apologize. I didn't realize you felt this bad and I should've known. I should've made you rest and taken care of you," she said as she lowered her head.

"Audrey, it's okay. I'm okay, see?" You said as you kissed her hand.

"You're not. Sorry to tell you this ma'am but you have a brain tumor. You need surgery and treatment as well as absolute rest for around three months. We need to do this now or you might not make it another month," the doctor said. You didn't protest. You knew it would be best if you wanted to keep living the life that you have. You wanted to be with Audrey.

"Audrey?" You said when you saw how she was holding in her sobs and cries. She turned to look at you with red eyes and you began to cry as well.

"I love you. I love you so much and I will be with you forever," you said.

"Don't... it sounds like you're saying goodbye," she said.

"I know you have to catch a flight. You have to go back home. Go work on your projects, baby. And come back to me in three months," you said and she started to shake her head.

"I can't leave you. Who will take care of you? Who is going to make sure you're okay? I want to make sure you wake up and you can see me and..." you moved your hand on her cheek and she stopped talking. She shut her eyes tightly and pressed her lips on your hand.

"I will be okay, baby. I have to go now but never forget that I love you so much," you kissed her one last time before the nurse took you away.

-

(Three months later)

It was finally the day. The day Audrey would come back and you could be together again. This time you promised you would never let her go and would never make her cry.

You heard the doorbell and rushed to the door. You fixed my clothes and hair before taking a deep breath and finally took ahold of the doorknob. You twisted it and there she was. A big smile and a beautiful gold light radiating from her. Her eyes seemed to be teary and her smile was shaking.

She immediately dropped her bags and ran to you. She grabbed your face a kissed you tenderly. It was a long-awaited kiss. Three months felt like an eternity without her. How could someone live without that gorgeous smile? It's a smile you would die for.

"You have no idea how much I missed you," she said as she buried her face down your neck. Her sobs began to fill your ears and your tears began to roll down your face.

"I missed you too," you said as you kissed her head.

"How about we get out of here? I have a surprise for you," you said and she looked at you with a confused expression.

"But you need to rest more. What if-" Audrey started but you stopped her by shaking your head.

"I'm okay. We aren't doing anything that might be straining. Let's go," you said as you put on your shoes and jacket and walked out of the door with her. She was too quiet for your liking but you didn't say anything as you saw her fidgeting with her hands in the car. You knew she was nervous.

After around thirty minutes you arrived at a camping site and got out of the car to open her door. A small smile was painted on her lips.

"You didn't forget about the camping date?" She asked.

"I could never forget about your favorite thing. Your pink curly hair, the sweet perfume you use, the way you move when you dance. It's all engraved in my head. Let's set up and watch a movie," you said as you walked to get our things from the trunk.

A few hours later you had everything set up and ate dinner. The sun was starting to slowly set creating a beautiful orange and pink hue in the sky. Audrey was silently sitting on a chair looking at the sky as she took small sips of her tea. Your biggest fears began to fill your head like poison.

'Does she not love me anymore? Is there someone else? Did she find someone that treats her better?'

"Audrey, come here," you said and she turned to you. She stood up and placed her mug on the chair. As she walked to you, you immediately cupped her face with your warm hands and planted a kiss on her lips.

"Whatever is on your mind, tell me," you said as you broke the kiss.

"It's just all surreal. I thought I was going to lose you and not being able to contact you due to work was killing me and now that I'm here, I just feel like I should've been here all along," she said.

You immediately connected your forehead to hers. You wanted her to forget about everything and anything that happened in the past.

"Baby, you're here now and I couldn't ask for more. You're all I need and I just want to be with you. Enjoy the moment, my sweet girl," you said and kissed her forehead.

That seemed to make all of her worries melt away. Her mind was clear and her heart warm. She smiled brightly for the first time and a small tear escaped her eye. You kissed it dry and she let out a small giggle that melted your heart.

Setting up for bed was quick and soon you realized that you had forgotten her sleeping bag back home. You scratched your head and chuckled nervously.

"Sorry, babe. I forgot your sleeping bag," you said.

"It's okay. We can sleep in the same one," she said as she got situated. She looked up at you and you nodded. You got inside the bag and spooned her, sharing the warmth of your body as a movie played on your iPad.

Suddenly, she turned to face you, completely ignoring the movie. You were lost in her eyes and you shared a moment of silence.

She reached to peck your lips and you finally saw her purest smile.

"I don't know how I managed to be with you for so long. I'll never leave you again. Promise you'll never scare me like that again," she said as she buried her face in your chest.

"I'm sorry baby, I'll never do it again..."

There was a small pause and you pulled back from the hug.

"We fit perfectly in this sleeping bag don't you think?" You asked.

"Yes. We are perfect," she said before snuggling close to you.

“I love you,” You kissed her forehead and you both drifted into a deep slumber.

Thank you for reading!!🩷

[kcalsforhim]

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ wednesday 1 jan 2025

༄.°

time to update once more !!! going into the year im very confident on consistency and on my promise to not binge especially not on sweets or anything grimy !

hereby i set some guidelines for myself ; i declare i wont eat unless i can physically hear my stomach grumble !! of course ill try to focus most on omad ; however, snacks and stuff like that im planning to make a thing of the past

secondly ; i want to eliminate my trigger foods most of all, i want to eliminate buying foods for myself ect

thirdly ; i won’t feel guilty throwing away food and i won’t let myself get pressured, learning to say no will be key for this year

fourth ; portion sizes and banning myself from eating after dinnertime will be crucial ^_^

lastly ; this year i want to make it a goal to slowly work back towards becoming binge free, and starting to count my calories again when im ready, preferably by the end of this month !

well, with that out of the way

i started my day today on the treadmill ! i went on a walk i think for about 80 mins or so on speed 5 i believe. this was right as i woke up basically, and it was all the way untill 2 pm when i sat down to get myself tidied up and ready for work

i went to my job and preformed as normal i’d say… everyone was very nice to me and i got lots and lots of new years wishes !!!! it was very nice and seeing people’s smiles as i wished them a happy new year first made me feel good

i asked my mom to make me some food, because by 5 pm i was feeling like actually a zombie and i knew she wouldn’t make me too much

- a container with a small bit of salmon, and a small piece of chicken made with sesame seeds and sauce. it had .. not more than 50g of noodles, but i thew half of the noodles away. also cucumbers cut in halves

- half of a protein bar, however i only ate half of what is shown, so more realistically i ate 1/4 of the protein bar

- sugar free strawberry dreams monster

food was super good !! i was kind of disappointed the noodles were there, cause i specified in my text literally that i wanted the one small piece of salmon and one piece of chicken that was leftover in the fridge with cucumbers, nothing more, but it was fine. when the guilt set in, both for the noodles, and the protein bar, i threw both out, which felt good

i went home at 10 pm on my bike and got home. i sat down on the couch with my mom and i took one chocolate coconut ball thing… it’s actually not really that chocolatey, it’s my moms healthy alternative version lol

- one healthy alternative chocolate coconut ball treat

- the rest of this diet cola

oh i know i absolutely didn’t need this but im trying every day to crack down less and less and tbh i caught myself reaching for a second one of these before stopping myself, which is ok. the cola was good i took it upstairs with me lol.

i couldn’t sleep all night, i think i stayed up drawing till 2:30-3:00 am and then after that i kind of watched stuff, rolled around, ect ect, till about 4 am

my song rec for today, i’ve been listening to a lot of upbeat music, i don’t know why, and i’ve been recommending alot of it too, so here’s a more relax one

༄.°

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ stats for today

streak ; 1 day binge free !

steps ; 15.5 k (apple watch died partway through shift)

im pretty happy with the steps of today ! i wish my apple watch didn’t die tho.. i could’ve possibly gotten more. i leave my phone on the counter at work, so who knows how many steps didnt get recorded… sniffle sniffle…

༄.°

[stxrvel]

loneliness is not my thing (2)

series summary: you woke up from a long coma with no memory of a part of your life only to be told by your teammates that you're married to the man you hated seven years ago. even though that seemed to be the only problem, as time goes on you're realizing there's a lot more history and mystery behind the accident that left you in medical care for months. blackouts, more memory loss, mistrust and a strange man who seems to be connected to everything. every day it gets harder to trust anyone around you, but you won't stop until you can finally uncover the truth behind the accident.

chapter summary: a talk with Bucky could end up uncovering and unleashing that part of you that you were always trying to keep under control.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +5k

warnings: i think none? let me know if i should add some!

note: hey you guys!! i can't believe the love you all gave the first part of this fic, and also the love you gave to the outbreak! its surely insane. thank u all for your support, and know that i'll always try to be better and write better and just give you guys the best. i love all of your comments, sorry if i don't reply to them, but i really really really love reading them! the feedback is just what keeps me going. really thank u all 💜. as always, i hope you like this second part! let's see what comes next for pt. 3

masterlist | next | series masterlist

The road to recovery was a difficult one, and if anyone knew about it, it was definitely Bucky Barnes.

It was what everyone had been telling you since you arrived. Besides constantly insisting that you should be careful about everything you did and not overexert yourself, talking about Bucky was another thing that people around you constantly did. You hadn't said that to him the last time you'd seen him, because he seemed angry enough with what little you'd said to him without adding something to it that you didn't even know what it might add to the conversation.

But yes, apparently Bucky was quite a preacher when it came to the path of self-healing. And seven years was just too long... You would have been much more surprised if it was the other way around, that you were still two adults with the minds of children who constantly poked each other with offensive words and backbiting. Maybe thinking Bucky had changed wasn't so crazy after having a whole year to consider it. You'd never had so much silence from him as you did most of the time you were in the hospital.

You wanted to learn more about it. More about him. But you never felt you had the right time to talk to him at length. At first, yes, it was too complicated to take in what he had told you. You two, married? The worst of your nightmares. But eventually you could begin to notice the change, even though his old attitude was still fresh in your memory. Then, just when you felt ready to start trying, the others showed up.

You would never have thought that learning to tolerate people would be such a complicated task until you found yourself in that situation. You were grateful to them, of course, their concern touched you… but to what extent?

You were uncomfortable with their looks and words and, although you managed to give yourself space by letting them know you didn't want them to keep talking about you and Bucky, the discomfort never really went away. And you just couldn't deal with it anymore. Surely, that was what had caused Bucky to pull away from you more and more. You also thanked him for his understanding, but you felt the scales were very unbalanced.

When he told you he would talk to Tony about giving you more space, you took it as a good sign. You could finally have a more private space to live.

What you didn't expect, of course, was to spend a whole week in complete solitude.

You didn't know what was worse.

You thought for a moment that it would be a gradual change and not all at once, and you hardly knew how to handle it. Sometimes you would leave the wing you were settled in and walk around the Complex, hoping to find someone, but it seemed like everyone had been wiped off the face of the earth. There was no one you could meet walking around.

So, at the end of the week you wanted to talk to Bucky again. You thought being like this might be the solution, and it's not that you completely missed some conversations with others, but you did miss some social interaction, and with some boundaries you were sure you could get some good stuff.

“What the hell are you doing up there?”

Your head was up, pointing directly at the figure sitting on a thick branch of a large tree. The woman had an impassive look on her face, but you could tell you had taken her by surprise.

You were taking one of those walks that, rather than being routine, you took hoping to run into someone. Although you had the feeling that you would end up doing it as a routine. And now you were finishing, when you were walking around the green area of the Complex, you happened to look up at the sky and you found Carol Danvers in the middle of the landscape.

“I'm… relaxing,” she barely answered you, clasping her hands together and waving her legs in the air. She almost looked innocent.

“Aha,” you nodded, not quite convinced. “I hadn't seen you in days.”

“Bucky was very clear in his instructions.”

“Instructions?”

“Yeah, he was very specific in asking us not to return to the wing and not to cross your path even by accident. Very intimidating, if you ask me.”

You watched Carol frown reflexively as you weighed her response. That, clearly, answered the questions that were rattling around in your head. But still…

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why did he do that? I didn't tell him what I told him to get everyone out of my life - he didn't even tell me what he wanted to do!”

Carol let out a laugh and it was your turn to frown.

“You can't imagine the things that man would do for you.”

You sighed heavily.

“But I didn't want to be left alone either.”

“That's understandable,” Carol nodded. “It's true that we overreached. You had reason to be uncomfortable and Bucky had reason to be angry. The least we could have done was to be on our best behavior and we failed at that too.”

You processed her apology, but over analyzed her words.

“You failed at that too?”

As soon as you finished asking the question, Carol's face froze. You knew she was known for being careful with her words, and she was the only one in the whole group who could really exercise prudent behavior. She didn't like assumptions or double-talk, unless it was necessary or for a bit of fun. But on a subject like that, you knew she had to be very precise with every word that left her mouth.

So, you didn't waste the opportunity to bring it up even though you knew she would most likely dismiss the topic as if it wasn't something relevant.

“Yes, well… The accident was an intelligence error. We all got complacent, thought the mission would go excellent and smoothly. But we were wrong.”

You didn't expect her to actually give you an answer. Vague, but an answer after all. You tried to fill in the gaps in your head with the information she gave you, but besides being something completely inconclusive, it gave you a big twinge in your head, like every time you tried to remember something.

Sometimes you didn't understand how the doctor said it was possible that you could recover your memory when you faced situations like that. That headache you got when you tried to evoke some recent memory seemed like a wall of miles of concrete that you couldn't break down except with thousands and hundreds of years of hammering on it.

That's how far away and impossible it felt.

“Don't do that,” you heard Carol's voice.

You had lowered your head when you felt the sting and, as always, the light began to bother you. You didn't realize at what point she stepped off the tree branch, but suddenly you felt her beside you holding your shoulders.

“The doctor said to avoid, specifically, forcing your memories. They will come on their own at some point.”

“This sucks,” you barely mumbled as the pain began to subside. “It feels like… having someone else inside my head. My lost memories feel like someone else.”

“I get that.”

You straightened up and began to follow the path back to the Complex at the foot of Carol, who still kept an arm around you just in case. You turned to look at her when she spoke, remembering what she had told you about her past.

“At least you know what you're looking for. The road is full of rocks, but it won't be endless. At some point you'll find a river and walk right into the truth.”

“I hope so.”

“Be patient. And don't force yourself. You'll be fine.”

You pursed your lips unable to keep a feeling of disgust from coursing through your body. Carol was right, like everyone else when they talked about it, and suddenly her advice should carry more weight having been through a similar situation herself, but that did absolutely nothing to alleviate the hollowness you constantly felt in your chest.

Dealing with the situation was easier when you only thought about the present. When you thought your only problem was what to eat for your three meals a day, what movies to see, which sides of the Complex to walk on, and that was it. Everything was perfectly fine when you focused only on the problems you had in the moments instantly.

The real issue came when you had to remind yourself that you weren't living in an everyday situation.

You had an accident. You lost your memory. You spent a year in the hospital. You found out you had a husband. You went to live in a space in the Complex completely isolated to yourself because the stress of the environment there could affect you psychologically. You were constantly living your days… for existing.

Having lost your memory, in addition to taking away the opportunity to continue to grow in your interpersonal relationships, also took away the opportunity to continue working. You were a SHIELD agent, but you weren't cleared for any kind of mission until further notice. And when would that notice come? You had no idea. Basically, you were living in limbo.

You were constantly trying to focus only on the problems of the present because they were things you could more easily deal with. Maybe that's why, despite being a nuisance at times, you appreciated the company of the team. And maybe that's why at the time you didn't miss the loneliness. Not that loneliness that gave way to unhealthy thoughts and hopeless feelings instead of allowing you moments of reflection. You felt you had developed an apathy to loneliness. Or a fear… It was hard to know exactly.

But you had to merge it all into your routine at some point. Learn to deal with both at the same time. Learning to live with the fact that there were millions of things that others remembered and you didn't, while trying to live with creating new experiences to treasure.

Living one problem at a time.

“If you really feel that way, you should go back and talk to Bucky. I can talk to the others and try to set rules and boundaries.”

You raised your head to find yourself in front of the rear entrance to the Complex that Tony had set up so you wouldn't have to walk through all the clutter of agents and clerks at the main entrance. It was a black door that blended in with the rest of the wall, and behind it was a short hallway that led directly to an elevator that had only one number available to go up.

“Yes, that would be ideal,” you nodded thoughtfully, as you walked toward the elevator after closing the door. “Of all the things I could have imagined when I woke up, the least likely, almost impossible, would have been guessing my current relationship with Bucky.”

Carol barely let out a laugh as she rang the elevator with the single button to her left.

“Despite losing your memories, you're not much different than you were in the last few years. Really the only thing that changed was everything that went along with your lousy relationship with Bucky. When you two patched things up, it was like everything fell back into place. The sun came out and the birds sang.”

You laughed with Carol as you entered the elevator and pushed the button with the number five on it.

“I guess it can happen again, right?” you questioned quietly, as you ascended to the third floor.

“It's possible. But don't hold on to what was. You can also chart a new path.”

--

You felt nervous. Your mind was predisposed to disaster. You had taken chamomile tea, but it had given you nothing more than a sudden urge to go to the bathroom. Every second that passed felt like an eternity, and you couldn't conceive that you could ever feel excited at the thought of talking to Bucky. Because what you were feeling at that moment could almost be related to panic. Despite the months that had passed and what you knew of his new version, you still panicked at the thought of talking to him alone.

You had been staring at the door for a while expecting him to show up at any moment, but it felt like you had been sitting there for hours waiting for the same thing. You hated feeling that uncomfortable tingling in your limbs and the nervousness whipping your stomach with an empty feeling. You especially hated it even more knowing that Bucky was the reason you felt this way. A year hadn't been enough time to get used to the idea, it seemed, and still your mind was reluctant to accept the truth. Even though you were aware of what it did to him, what your rejection made him feel, you still couldn't put yourself in a situation other than unwilling. It was like acting against your nature.

Carol had told you that she would tell Bucky to meet you because, like the others, you hadn't seen him again either. She knew where to find him so she told you not to worry about that.

She also told you that the reason everyone seemed to have fallen off the map was because they had started having missions much more often than before. Whoever was making life miserable for them and the rest of the population seemed to have been relentless for days. Carol told you that everything had been manageable until the beginning of last week, when the attacks and disappearances had been more frequent.

She then mentioned that it was unlikely that you would ever see everyone gathered in the same room for more than an hour again, or even a small group of them.

That was all he said.

You asked more questions, like who the person was who was causing these disturbances, or why they wre doing them, but she refused to continue the conversation. She said something about stress and trauma that you could barely understand, but her conclusion was that it was the doctor's express mandate not to talk to you about work. And it seemed that especially about that person who was wreaking havoc in the cities.

The door rang when you were deep in thought.

You moved your gaze just to meet Bucky's clear eyes. A choking sensation suddenly came over you.

His gaze was not tense, as you used to remember it, and he moved his body gracefully across the room; he no longer seemed to carry the sin of the world on his shoulders. His calm expressions made you feel more at ease, coupled with what you had lived and experienced with him over the past year, but you still felt the nervousness come back stronger.

“Carol told me you needed to talk to me.”

You watched him approach without moving an inch from your place at the table, and noticed his brow furrow in concern. At some point, you would have connected that expression with anger, with weariness or annoyance, but his warm, welcoming eyes made you feel like you had no reason to feel cornered.

“Yes, uhm… I wanted to talk to you about the team.”

“What?” Bucky spoke up instantly, his brow furrowing even more. “Have they been bothering you again? Because I was very clear last time-”

“No! That's not why. That's not what I meant,” you rectified quickly when you felt his tone of voice deepen. The lightness with which he used to address you seemed to have taken a vacation when he thought your time was still being disturbed. “I just wanted to tell you that… uhm…”

Damn nervousness. You interlocked your hands under the table and clasped them tightly. You tried to keep a cool expression so as not to alert the man in front of you, and the very thought struck you as odd.

“You didn't need to ask them to leave.”

You finally spoke, and when you looked back to see him, you could make out his peculiar grimace of confusion.

“I really appreciate what you're doing for me, Bucky. It's very… thoughtful,” you would never have thought you'd say all those words in the same sentence. “But I'd really prefer not to always be alone.”

You saw how his features remained mostly intact, but his eyes gave away what was going through his mind. He still looked confused, but he was already walking down the path you were putting together.

“I know what I said. My way of expressing myself was perhaps a bit over the top. But in my defense I didn't think you were going to go and ban them all from ever coming back in. I would never have guessed it.”

Bucky sighed, and you noticed at last how he relaxed his body. Ever since you mentioned the others, his shoulders had tensed and he had leaned forward as if ready to run off and hand out scoldings.

You watched his eyes wander over the table as you two lapsed into a silence that you couldn't tell if it was uncomfortable, comfortable, strange, not at all welcome, or welcome. You had mixed feelings about how to feel in the face of their silence. God, the things you'd come to…

“Okay,” you heard him reply after another few seconds in (un)comfortable silence. “So you'd prefer to see them more often, regularly, but just be less invasive. Something like that?”

“Maybe,” you nodded. “I don't know how I used to be before the accident, but I know that right now I don't feel as willing to talk about some issues.”

“That's okay,” Bucky nodded quickly at your words. “I'll talk to them then. I'll take what you tell me into consideration.”

You mimicked his gesture positively, and gave him a tight-lipped smile.

Okay, now what?

Before your head could start making a problem from the size of a pin to the size of a mountain, Bucky took the floor again.

“How have you been feeling? I mean, physically.”

You blinked a couple of times before answering.

“I've been fine. Sometimes I get a headache, but that's when I'm trying to remember something.”

You saw him nod with his full attention devoted to you. His brow furrowed, but this time in concentration, you were sure.

“You haven't been able to remember anything?”

“No, I haven't.”

You shook your head and felt that strange hopelessness hug your chest. You didn't like to think that sometimes people lived with a conception of you in their heads that you couldn't fill. You felt that they were always waiting for something. The expectation of one day seeing you and you being that person they used to remember. It was hopeless. You thought that no matter how hard you tried, you were never going to reach that version of you that had been erased from your head that everyone was used to. Why would that happen? Even with someone like Bucky, whose relationship between the two of you you didn't remember on good terms, you feared you couldn't exceed those expectations.

“You know,” the voice of the man in front of you brought you back to the present. You shook your head to rid yourself of those thoughts and focus on his words. “If you wanted to someday, you could get out of the Complex and go somewhere in the city. Maybe meet or just walk around.”

“Can I do that?”

Bucky frowned. “Sure. Why couldn't you?”

You looked down at your clasped hands.

“I don't know. I thought part of my recovery included always being here.”

“Ah. Well, that would be the most advisable thing to do, but as long as you're accompanied by someone I don't think there would be any downside.”

“Really?”

“Sure. You can ask anyone to accompany you. We all know the city well. And if that someone isn't busy, I'm sure they'd be happy to accompany you.”

“I definitely will. I've seen some interesting things online that I'd like to see in person.”

Bucky gave you a small smile before speaking. “Then get to work.”

And he stood up. Suddenly, you felt the panic sweep through you again. Was he going to leave already? You felt your heart drop to your stomach and you stretched out the fingers on your hands as he started walking.

“Well, I'll leave you. I have some mission reports to fill out. Report them to Fury before midnight. Most boring part of this job, honestly.”

Every word out of his mouth made him stand an inch farther away and you suddenly didn't like that feeling. You wanted to speak up and stop him, but your head was making you keep your mouth shut with your muddled thoughts hovering over every part of the room. You could almost see every possibility and every word clearly around the room. It was chaotic. You felt chaotic.

Bucky turned to see you, and when your gaze met his, everything stopped in an instant.

“You used to love doing that paperwork.”

The world slowed down to that moment. For a second, you could only perceive his body focused directly at you and his sparkling eyes that told you more than you could comprehend. You felt an itch in your fingertips and had the urge, for a second, to rush out to his side.

That was the part of you you didn't know. The part of you that your head was always fighting with. The memory of your body. The instincts that surfaced every time you experienced a strong feeling. Your head didn't remember it, but your body did. And your rationality was always fighting against the instincts of your body, because it was reluctant to a reality it didn't know. It was all so unfamiliar that you had no choice but to keep yourself in a constant tide of alertness.

There were never any dangers around you, but you always felt the need to be prepared to defend yourself.

That was one of those moments.

“A lot of things I hated to do you loved to do,” Bucky spoke again, this time redirecting his gaze elsewhere in the room as he seemed to be flooded with memories.

His longing face touched you and, for the first time, it looked like your body was going to beat your head.

You got up from the table and Bucky's head moved quickly, as if pulled out of a reverie. He watched you for a couple of seconds in silence, and when you said nothing, he shook his head.

“If you need me, I'm in B wing. Floor five. Room four.”

And without further ado, he turned around again, ready to leave the room.

“Wait!” you exclaimed louder than necessary. You cringed at how loud your voice came out and what it implied that it sounded almost like a prayer. It startled you, and you wanted to disappear when his body turned as he was about to grab the doorknob to open the door.

His eyes… his eyes told you everything. If only you knew the language they spoke; if only you could pay a little more attention; if only you could hold him a little closer…

You felt fear at the path your thoughts were taking. Your body's instincts were taking over the mechanism that kept you from losing your sanity.

“Y/N, you don't have to tell me anything. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable that I said that. I shouldn't have-”

“It didn't make me uncomfortable,” you replied quickly, interrupting him. “It's just… sometimes I don't know how to handle these emotions.”

Bucky nodded.

“I don't know how to… handle you.”

“Handle me?”

“Handle what you cause in me.”

You watched him take a big breath in, his shoulders moving noticeably as he took a deep breath. You didn't know if he wanted to talk or if he wanted to stay silent so you would continue, but you didn't give yourself much time to think about it.

“Sometimes I feel like this whole thing is beyond me, you know, but other times I feel a huge familiarity with what's around me and it's like I've been to that place a million times before.”

You let go of your clasped hands and felt exposed. Talking like that made you feel vulnerable, even though you sensed you should have had that kind of conversation with him before. But that didn't change the fact that the discomfort didn't go away, nor did the need to let him know.

You were barely processing the words coming out of your mouth as your own ears picked them up, as if you were automatically reciting the writing your heart has practiced. The things that part of you had been keeping quiet for a long time had found its way out of you, to express yourself because keeping quiet and silent was turning it into a slave of suffering.

“That's how I feel with you… sometimes. Like I can't handle what I feel and what I think, but other times I feel like I've seen you a million times already, that I've felt this way a million times. And that you've looked at me that way a million times too.”

Bucky stood static in front of you, and his eyes never left yours. The intensity with which his gaze penetrated yours almost made you cringe, because you might not understand all that he was silent and showing through his eyes, but boy was he a man who knew the power of expressing a feeling through the window of his soul. You could almost touch through the masses of air the love he used to profess for you. That he professed still.

“I don't even know what's right and what's wrong because my mind has a limited view of the whole situation. I want to remember and at the same time I'm terrified that I can't.”

“Nothing will change if you can't remember, Y/N.”

“Except everything will change if I never get my memories back. You know that. Don't tell me things like that to make me feel better.”

“I'm not doing that. I don't want to lie to you. I just don't want you to feel like you're failing everyone by not doing it. That's completely out of your will, you know that?”

Reluctantly you nodded. You longed mightily for his words to be a relief, but the storm of emotions didn't go away. On the contrary, the mess inside you grew much bigger. You seemed to feel things far more powerful than your mind could handle.

“The point is, I wish I could learn to handle it all. Because maybe that's the way back to what it was before. By learning to handle it, I'd also stop feeling like I'm going to explode just because you look at me or because you don't.”

“That might be true,” Bucky agreed with you, cocking his head to one side, and for the first time in several minutes his body moved across the room. He seemed to want to move closer to you, and you felt the entire space around you shrink into a small room. The distance was monumentally disastrous, and you didn't know if you wanted him farther away or closer. “Maybe surrounding yourself with familiar things might help you remember, do you want us to try?”

With the tone of voice he was managing, you didn't know if you were sure what he was referring to. You watched his body move closer and closer until you were barely a step away. As you watched him closer, you could tell more closely that he wore an expression you had never known before. He was so very, very relaxed, his eyelids drooping a little lower over his eyes; you didn't even notice any trace of the wrinkles that hinted that he was worried, stressed or confused. No, that expression was confident and calm, the way you feel just after taking a shower before going to bed. It was that kind of domestic, familiar, homey calm that provided the certainty of knowing you were in a safe place.

The Bucky you saw in front of you must have been the one he used to be before the accident.

“And how would we do that?” you could barely muster.

Bucky cocked his head to one side and grimaced as if he was thinking very hard about an answer. His gesture brought a smile to your face. Despite the tension that had suddenly formed between you, you didn't feel the need to run away. Rather, you felt enveloped, precisely, in a safe place.

“I could accompany you on a tour of the city.”

And the idea didn't strike you as crazy at all. In fact, when he had mentioned it, the only person you had thought you might ask had been him.

And you had thought that would be the most extravagant thing you could say to him.

“How about it?” Bucky added to his suggestion, a small lopsided smile gracing his face.

“Sounds like a good idea,” you nodded, your own smile lighting up your face.

The man in front of you nodded, that sense of reassurance never leaving him for a moment. You felt as if you were inside a bubble of unwavering peace.

“Would tomorrow be okay?” Bucky asked.

You pretended to think about it the same way he had before.

“Let me check with my schedule. You know I have very busy days.”

The laugh you drew from his mouth felt like the biggest of prizes. Still apprehensive to accept those emotions, even your mind yielded to the power of Bucky Barnes' melodious laugh. Your defenses were nil at that moment.

“All right. Fair enough.”

And in less than a second, he turned around to walk back in the direction of the door. You felt a chill run through you from the space he had been occupying in front of you.

“When you get your answer, you know where to find me.”

And he walked out of the room. That time you couldn't stop him.

You stood there for several seconds staring at the door trying to process what had happened. You felt like you had just come out of a trance and were experiencing the aftermath one after another without respite.

Your mouth also felt dry.

When you regained consciousness and came out of that space in your head, you began to make your way out of the room. Strangely you felt that something was missing. The interaction you had had with Bucky had felt like deja vu. And now that it was over it felt almost wrong.

You walked in the direction of the exit from that wing of the Complex that led directly to an entrance to the section where you were staying. On your way, you kept repeating Bucky's expressions and in the end his tone of voice so calm, so familiar and so unfamiliar that it had your heart doing somersaults.

You didn't even know at what point the whole situation turned against you. First you came completely reluctant to still accept that there was a part of you that seemed to act instinctively when Bucky was near, only to end up just inches away from him accepting that basically you could still perceive those love-related emotions that you didn't know how to interpret. But you wanted to, of course, you had to make that clear to him.

Your mind for the first time was at ease and your heart felt like it was where it belonged. Your guard was so low that you couldn't even foresee what would happen next.

Your vision went white, accompanied by an extremely sharp pain in the back of your head. You could barely groan from the pain as your knees gave way under the weight of your body and you fell to your knees a few feet from the door.

You felt your little heart pumping blood to its maximum capacity, but you couldn't process what was happening.

You closed your eyes tightly, a thunderous beeping sound echoed in your ears.

Suddenly all your senses were magnified exponentially. The ground above your knees felt so scratchy that even through the fabric of your jean you could feel the friction of the material with the dust molecules. What little wind you could feel coming directly from the air conditioner sounded so loud in your ears that it began to dull the sound of the deafening beeping. You didn't know how your vision was, but closing your eyes so tightly caused a strange pain in your eyelid and it didn't take long for the tears to start building up and sliding freely down your cheeks.

You didn't understand what the fuck was going on.

The only thing you remembered was Bucky in a million scenarios. A bunch of images all projecting at the same time inside your head. A hundred words and sighs. A countless amount of sensations.

You felt and perceived everything at the same time.

Until everything was silence and darkness.

--

Tag: @stray-npc

[cmtcahrule]

No Words. Part 2.

For those who can't or won't watch.

26. After our wedding I had purchased all of these lanterns. I had this storage unit of all of these lanterns because they really went with the vibe. I had him and his friends drive them in a U-Haul to Texas which was really helpful until they got stopped at the border with weed and went to jail. So they helped when they could.

27. So when things really blew up for him, which I knew took some years, and you were in the spotlight at red carpets, and you were at big movie premiers, and more eyes were on you, how did that feel? Like you had the taste of fame from the hosting, but did you like being in that spotlight of Hollywood? It felt really weird. Like I should be asking questions. I felt like I still wanted to be the person asking questions. There’s always a fine line. You want to be a supportive wife. But you don’t want to lose your identity. Your husband’s career is going one direction but I have always found it tricky to be a supportive wife and maintain everything else that I want. How can I maintain my young, bitch self and be who I am?

28. I wondered how you felt when he was doing really well and you had to come along for the ride? Everything goes back to relationships. We were best friends. We went everywhere together. We didn’t have kids for 5 years. We were together on every set and every experience. I have so many of my friends from his movie sets like Social Network.

29. Where were you when your marriage was ending? Were you ready? I don’t think anyone is ready. I am such a family person. My family is everything. I would literally do anything to take any pain away from my kid. There is literally nothing I would not do.

30. I am a very Christmas card, basic bitch girl who believes family is more important than life or work. I would honestly do anything to keep my family together.

31. During COVID ahead of the divorce announcement: He was having struggles with his dad. He said mentally I am not OK. Like for me, if anyone said I am not OK, you don’t argue with that.

32. Long story short, he left. I saw some text messages that were not supposed to be sent to me.

33. You know what, we have worked so hard and come so far, you just don’t leave your family during a global pandemic. Especially with everything that we have been through.

34.Yes, family is important, but some people are OK with infidelity, but some people can move on, some people can turn a blind eye, but I fucking deserve the world and I am not the girl.

35. I think people make mistakes but I was never going to stay in a relationship where I was disrespected.

36. I remember screaming and crying and not understanding how and why that this could even be happening after we had so many plans. We wanted more kids. We wanted to be in this neighborhood.

37. It was the most horrible time of my life. I am strong. Yes, you are strong as fuck. From the sidelines, watching you…the way you handled it should be written about.

38. Did he try to fight for the marriage when you wanted to end it? He was not in a great place at the time. I won’t speak on his behalf in terms of treatment but all I wanted for him was for him to get help.

39. I drove him to the airport.

40. A good place to heal is where there is no paparazzi or tabloids. I honestly think that one more year might be our “safe zone” here. It is not like we are hiding but I just want to protect them until they can understand that we are both in really healthy places now.

41. I told my daughter I will buy half of your car if you wait until you are 16 to have a phone.

42. I don’t want to overstep but this came out in the media that Armie is paying $1,500 per month in child support and for some reason that became public. I have built a really successful company and I have 3 shows right now in production. I am so grateful for the success of my company and my team. I can sit here and literally spend however many dollars on another year of arguing back and forth with him about how much money and it is such a waste. I will provide for our kids. They are with me all the time.

43. We were in LA and we were staying at my friend’s house and together putting the kids to sleep and reading a book together. That is what kids want and that is what makes them happy. If that is the one thing I can give them I will. There is nothing I won’t do for them. They didn’t ask for any of this.

44. Are you still dating your hot boyfriend? Yes. He is amazing. He is from Lithuania. Born and raised in a small village. He is a physical therapist. I am in love and I love him.

45. So if you move to LA is he going to come? I don’t know. Everyone says the city will ruin him. He is very traditional. He is only 26.

46. The kids love him so much. He is so present and great with them. He is never on his phone.

47. Our family of four, including Armie, is really important to them. That is their identity now.

48. Regarding work: I am excited for the one on Discovery. It is basically a Dateline but with modern terms. Toxic relationships. I am manifesting 300 seasons of it.

49. We have also done a show on Hulu about opening the location here in Cayman which I am hosting and producing. A couple of other ones that just sold.

50. In the end, everything comes down to trauma. Maybe you are filling a void you did not have when you were younger. We are all products of our upbringing. And that really manifests itself in romantic relationships.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hi BPP, lemme pick your beautiful brain abit if you don’t mind. So i think it is really beautiful that jikook decided to enlist together using the buddy program. But no matter how much i think about it, i can’t seem to figure out why they decided to do that if they are not more than friends. Don’t get me wrong, i am not saying that people who are just friends cannot do the buddy program, no, they definitely can and they have in the past but my thing is, with the way almost everyone was kinda convinced that jikook had grown distant and were not as close anymore in chapter two, how do u explain them choosing to go together, being joined at the hip for 18 months? Plus they have to have talked about this at some point way before they applied. So while many of us sat here thinking they were not as close anymore, they were making plans to enlist together as buddies? Why would they even consider this if they weren’t really close to each other and if they were still so close to each other enough to consider using this option, why did they both sometimes act like they were a little distant?

I can understand not wanting things to be so obvious but u could really tell that Jimin especially seemed very…, i dunno, different about Jk in chapter two. I don’t know of i’m making alot of sense rn or if u even understand where i’m coming from (i hope u do) but i’d love to hear what u think.

***

Oh god. I wish you sent me this ask an hour ago when I was still sober because I really want to answer this right this moment but there's at least 6 fingers of Lagavulin in me. Sorry in advance for whatever you read below - I've been told I ramble and I'm more of a cunt when I'm intoxicated.

I want to say I told you so. It was clear that whatever distance jikook showed in Chapter 2 was self-imposed. It looked like a caricature of what an actual breakup would look like, in my opinion. And mind you, I've never been certain that jikook are dating. They might not be and it wouldn't make a real difference to what we've all observed them to be: something more to each other than whatever is normal.

Any distance that showed in Chapter 2 was simply spatial. The way I saw it, Chapter 2 was a period for each member to present themselves to the world as individuals. It's something I believe every member took extremely seriously. It's possibly one reason Jungkook agonized over his album to the point Bang PD intervened and we thankfully got Golden. Chapter 2 was a big deal for them. Necessary. At the same time, all the boys know the narratives they have in the fandom. They know there's a faction of fans who believe either Jimin or Jungkook uses the other to remain popular in the fandom, they likely know most of the least flattering ones floating around. They know external critics are also likely to conflate their individual efforts and motives, whether positively or negatively.

I think it was important for every member to present themselves as a singular artist in Chapter 2, and this was even moreso for jikook because of their reputation of being stuck at the hip and/or overly dependent on each other. So on one hand I think they were more careful about showing their intimacy because of external critics and perceptions, but I also think they did it for themselves. They've always had lives outside each other and they had things they needed to pay attention to in any case, with enlistment looming over the horizon.

But now that it's happened, it feels very obvious that if they had the chance to do the Buddy program, they'd do it. I think part of what you're asking Anon, is which came first - did they decide to 'appear distant' in Chapter 2 before they decided to enlist together? Or was it afterwards?

Personally, I don't think it matters much which came first. They have always and always were going to choose each other. Jikook excite me because they are literally always jikooking. I'm not sure if people think I'm joking whenever I say it, but I mean it when I say I don't worry one second about those lads because they are always jikooking.

Even while they were apparently not so close in Chapter 2, some of those times they looked tormented. What was Jungkook thinking going live, just to stare at Jimin's tattooed chest in SMF Pt 2?

What was that bit with JK naked in bed and Jimin saying he could handle him? Jikook were messy as hell during their supposed 'distance' in Chapter 2 lool. Whether or not they were fucking a girl on the side makes no difference to how I think about what's gone down in the last 18 months, and it likely won't influence what I think of them during the next 18 months.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

2 - 5 Death on the Low Seas

Things are... very difficult internally but this series is keeping me going somewhat, so I'm still at it lol

Ngl limiting myself to one case a day is slightly torture but it helps me focus on writing and I look forward to it every night

um... I'm just looking for people to talk to (not even to vent necessarily, I also love to rant about murdle and I just need company) so if anyone is willing to reach out, that would help a lot <3

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

Logico takes a boat to the Violet Isles - with, of course, Admiral Navy as the captain. 

LOGICO: I guess I should be used to these teleporting suspects by now.

Some others are headed to the isles as well, namely the Duchess of Vermillion and 

U. MIDNIGHT: UNCLE MIDNIIIIIGHT!!

He picks up and noogies Logico.

LOGICO: I HATE YOU SO MUCH!! DUCHESS: My diamond is missing a necklace. I mean, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!  LOGICO: FINE, I’ll look for it… although it’s not the most engaging mystery in the world.

First, Logico stumbles across the deck. No diamonds there! But there is the least threatening Midnight.

U. MIDNIGHT: Heheuhueh, I can see my house from here! LOGICO: That’s not YOUR house! That’s the VIOLET MANOR!  NAVY: No… we’re not there yet either.

Benjamin is leaning so far over the edge, Logico so badly wants to push him into the ocean. But he has a job to do.

DUCHESS: Found my diamond yet? LOGICO: NO, I’m still LOOKING. 

He gets a text from Irratino. “You never find a railing without a piece of dead fish.” He stares at it for a long time and firmly believes that these messages no longer have any meaning. 

DUCHESS: WHILE he’s busy… [encroaches on Navy] what are you up to after… suppertime? NAVY: Um… DUCHESS: [creepily massages his shoulders] What say we try something new for dessert?  NAVY: UM…

She entwines her tail with his. He gets so uncomfortable, he jumps overboard! AGAIN! Thank goodness he’s rescued by an adorable shark. 

U. MIDNIGHT: Pffffffhuhuhuhuh. He’s like, a seal, and he can’t even swim! LOGICO: You didn’t happen to find a diamond in the water, per chance? NAVY: [coughs up a sardine] No…

Logico takes him to the bedroom to lie down. Above the bed, there’s a painting of a nightmarish deer-like creature, stained with fear.

NAVY: Lord Violet.  LOGICO: N- THAT’S Lord Violet? NAVY: Yes… he once had a butler who was his best friend, whom he’d do anything for. But one day, that butler was murdered. Lord Violet took it upon himself to find the murderer… LOGICO: What happened? NAVY: He tracked down the killer for a month, until he finally found their location. And when he did, he speared them alive with his horns.

Logico tenses. That seems weirdly gruesome, even though he faces crimes just as bad on a literal daily basis. There’s no time to think about that, though, because he found the Duchess’ lost diamond! Except it’s right on top of a body…

LOGICO: I knew there couldn’t be a trip without a murder! DUCHESS!!! DUCHESS: UGH!! That bitch tried to expose my affair with Admiral Navy, I HAD to kill them! Now thanks to you, Deductive Logico, it will be revealed anyway! Therefore, I GO! 

She jumps into the ocean (man, it’s happening a lot). Being the queen of fish, she disappears into the deep. I wonder if she’ll find Dr. Crimson?

LOGICO: Like she even needed a boat in the first place!

Ben and Navy are distracted, because they’re finally approaching Violet Manor. It’s a gorgeous, intimidating silhouette in the fog, just right for a dramatic reveal. The three stare, mesmerized… Then Uncle Midnight vomits over the edge. (Alcohol poisoning.)

The end!

The murdle rp is so funny help they all look so stupid

It's like gacha but worse

Maybe it's not worse. I can't tell anymore

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[slavicdolls4mangione]

hi jana!! omg!! ur so cool i cant believe u know multiple languages!! i have a few q and a questions for you hehe if you don't want to answer it that's totally fine too!!

fav lana album?

omg how were u able to learn multiple languages?? ahh you’re so cool and talented i love this blog smm

oo favorite books? / book recs?

what college do u go to if ur comfortable disclosing it!! i find it so cool and interesting that u have a bachelors in european lit!! omg!! can u share some snippets of ur road to achieving that :)

do u have any fav paintings or art or any museum !! 

i find it so interesting that a lot of the writers in this community have some sort of education in the humanities and speak more than 2 languages omg!! keep it up w ur blog a lot of people are enjoying it have a fun day!

hi sweet anon! ofc i don’t mind answering your little q&a :)

fav lana album

this is SO hard 😭 i can’t choose one so i’ll give you 2 hope that’s okay? not to sound dramatic but ultraviolence changed the trajectory of my life, i never recovered from that album; annnd born to die because that’s how i discovered lana so it has a really special place in my heart

languages

you’re so sweet! i’m so glad you’re liking my blog <3 as for your question, bosnian and french are my native languages and i’ve been engaging in american media from a very young age, all the movies my sister and i would watch were in english so i became fluent in it very quickly, but of course i perfected the language through school as well; then i took german from 6th grade all up until senior year in high school but i wasn’t the biggest fan learning it (maybe cause i didn’t get the best teachers ?) and finally i studied italian in uni!

favorite books/book recs

my favorite book is called ‘the good son’ by youjeong jeong, it’s a korean thriller and it’s one i’d recommend 100%.

other recommendations would be crime and punishment and the brothers karamazov by dostoevsky, the housemaid by freida mcfadden, fahrenheit 451 by ray bradbury and the silent patient by alex michaelides. this last one is more of a self help book but the four agreements by don miguel ruiz is the one i’m currently reading and it’s so interesting!

uni

for safety reasons i can’t disclose what college i’m going to :( but i will say it’s a community college in a small city in france, hope you don’t mind anon! how i went for that bachelor is kinda funny ngl lmao i initially wanted to get my bachelor in english literature but i missed the deadline… and european literature was the best next thing i could enroll in and the courses were really interesting to me so i was like why not! italian literature and history was a huuuge part of my curriculum and since i’ve wanted to learn the language for the longest time i decided to go for it! as you could imagine it was a lot of books, literature analysis, linguistics, history etc, but that’s always been my thing since i can remember (math hater over here)

favorite art/museums

yes i do have a favorite painting! it’s monet’s water lilies. i also really love the ballet dancers by edgar degas

as for museums, i was in new york for the first time last month and the met really left me in awe but nothing can beat the louvre in my eyes.

and yes it is very interesting that a lot of lu girlies studied/are studying humanities to me as well but i’m loving it here! and well, you know what they say, opposites attract!

thank you for your ask anon i really appreciate your sweet words and willingness to get to know me better! i can’t wait for this little community that came together in support of our lu to grow closer and stronger!

much love,

jana 🩷

[dozyrogue]

Again I firmly believe that qsmp should have been closed for longer than just the week that it was. Cuz there's multiple content creaters that are admiting the whole reason I enjoyed going on the server was because I got to interact with people but now nobody comes on.

Like I just saw the clip of pac being like yeah I really enjoyed Playing but now there's only like ever 2 to 3 people on and I enjoy being on the server but there's times where almost nobody is on and it's like what's the point of being on the server.

Tubbo is also distancing himself from the server even if its untentional like he plays for a little bit but then he gets bored and he moves on. He enjoys being on Minecraft servers where he gets to interact with people especially if it's like the eggs or other players. Like it took him up to today to actually verbal say hes gonna push back qsmp things cuz hes basically been playing by himself for a month.

I saw that Baghera said she's most likely not going to come back because of what it's happening and that sucks even more. Badboyhalo, another person who was constantly on the server is also finally branching out to other games which is good. But it sucks that something so cool is having this like horrendous downfall.

And yeah I get it the server was open for the Korean players and then the German players for new introductions buuuut,,, I feel like after you let them play for a week they should have closed it

Like as time moves on and we get the actual content creators that are actively on the server or who really like the server saying yeah like what's the point of joining and playing anymore because no one else is on. Me personally I'm locking that shit down and fixing it. Like believe me the fan base would still be there even if they took a couple months to actually focus on the problems.

I also don't like the merch is a limited I feel like it be better if it was on pre-order to see how many people are willing to buy it instead of limited like oh we only have this much so buy as you can. Because if it was pre-order it was open for a long time I would be more influenced to actually buy it instead of like oh you have 2 weeks to buy this good luck. This part is just more than me thing but still something that I saw and I was like okay that doesn't make any sense. We've seen the fan base say yeah we will pay for Merch we will pay for cool behind the scenes but it just doesn't hit.

I don't know man I just think qsmp should go on a longer break than the week that it had. It needs time to fix its problems, find a more efficient way to gain money to keep the server open pay the admins, and a system in place and how to properly care for the admins.

I just personally don't understand why it hasn't been closed yet. Like it's very hard for me to get into Minecraft servers because I don't think a lot of them have cool ideas or things that would interest me. But qsmp is something that I really like!! I speak two languages I'm working on my third!!!

Then u add content creators who speak different languages and, from different cultures and you put them all together and I thought that was amazing! And to see it slowly Fall Apart is very heartbreaking I hope it does get fixed.

But it just isn't looking good for lack of a better term

[sanchoyo]

Hello there friend...I'm silly tired and it's the middle of the night so this might not be coherent but I saw ur tags on that religion vs non post. Just wanted to say I know where ur coming from. I'm sorry that happened to u, that was a terribly presumptuous and unhelpful thing for them to do. I went thru something similar when my cat died, just to a lesser extent. I was told, in a well meaning comforting way, that she wouldn't suffer anymore, and my bitter grief stricken response was "she doesn't EXIST anymore. She's gone forever" bc I don't believe in the afterlife either.

OHHH sending u love for this <33 I was half awake and mad abt it but honestly its been like 2 months and im Fine with it now. (well maybe not FINE. still angry but it doesn't feel RAW anymore, like I can talk about it now) what's kind of funny is, I normally do like to talk about religion and the subject of an afterlife! it's something me and my sister have talked about a lot (not entirely sure what label she'd use now, but she used to be really into witchy stuff, so spiritual/religious topics would be fun to discuss between us, I am still spiritual in...weird ways...) it's just. there's a time and a place!! when he is dying and I am grieving is NOT the time or place!!!

It's so annoying when people around here assume I MUST be some flavor of christian because we're in the bible belt. like it doesn't even occur to them that I might not be. I have had people talk to me at previous jobs about how much jesus loves me and how he'll make things go well for me, and during those times I just kind of smiled and nodded along (I have to assume they want to tell me, specifically, these things because they see the Blue Hair and Pronouns vibes and feel...compelled...?? which like. lol???) like my mom took me being gay super well, much better than me telling her I wasn't a christian!! she CRIED over that!! and that didn't bother me so much because it's about me, right? and I don't care what happens to me after I die. it comes up a lot, where I am. people are fanatic about it, so I'm used to it.

but when it was about my precious dog, that really got me...the way those vets handled it was the only time I've been actively so annoyed and upset by it. the fact his pawprint came embedded in a little booklet thing that had a whole long ramble about how he's so happy and waiting for me to arrive REALLY upset me.

I totally get how 'she won't suffer anymore' could have set off the same thing, ugh, my heart goes out to you for that. funnily enough that was the only little phrase that DID bring me comfort. because my boy was suffering a lot his last few weeks, and not existing...put a stop to that pain. but it also put a stop to everything good, right? which sucks. like obviously I would have preferred him being ALIVE and not suffering, but that wasn't possible, so...that felt better than 'you'll see him again in heaven/he'll get to see jesus/rainbow road' stuff, in a way, for me. I just..knew it was his time and it would have been irresponsible and selfish for me to let him go slow and painfully.

it's just like...different things help different people. maybe the idea that dogs go to heaven helped the vets, as many animals as they likely put down, it makes it easier for them, I assume. and I'm glad if they had something like that to comfort them. I'm kind of jealous of it, honestly. I honestly want to give them a bit of grace for it, they were otherwise very kind and handled things well...

But they weren't the ones losing a best friend so they shouldn't have said it out loud. They can comfort themselves with that in their minds and keep things non-religious with clients. a very bitter and still-angry part of me wants to write the owner of that place a letter chewing them out for it. I won't but-- the idea of it makes me feel a little better lol. mentally being a karen and having a big dramatic fit in my brain only is very cathartic.

(I'm also open to the idea of reincarnation in some way, and I DO hope I can meet him again, somehow...it's just really really hard for me to imagine a christian 'heaven' scenario, lmao) I've been lucky enough to see him again in my dreams though, (those do still make me cry when I wake up and realize it wasn't real aaa ;_; ) and i'm lucky to have a lot of pictures and videos of him, as long as I'm alive he'll be alive in a sense, in my memories, and that's a lot of comfort. I can still speak fondly of him and see him in those ways, even if I'll never be able to really be with him again, never hold him again or play with him again. and I got 15 years with him, which I try to be grateful for. I tried my best to give him the best life I could. And I'll always have so many fond memories and so much love for him, and I'm sure the same goes for your kitty. <3

silly boy in his silly little hut ☝

[alex-a-fans]

BTTF Year-End Tag Game!

AAA THANK YOU @cheriboms AND @bttf-dork FOR TAGGING ME!!

This year:

How many times would you guess you watched the first back to the future movie?

Too many times to count...

Did you get any sweet bttf merch? If so, what!

Yes! BTTF Playmobil advent calendar and an off-brand Funko pop Doc!

How many cans of Pepsi Free did you chug this year?

Pepsi free? None. Normal Pepsi on the other hand.... Over 50 cans for sure.

What was a favorite bttf fanfic you read this year?

There were so many good ones, but if I had to choose... I choose 3!

Oh, How the World has Changed by @itsthemorph I just love the idea of Clara in 1985, even if it's only one chapter, I am sure the other parts will be great :)

June of Doom: let the Suffering Begin by @unknooooow. Now these ones are dark. They have become my Roman Empire, so I think about it once every few days. But again, I love angst, especially realistic. :)

Double Visions by @daryfromthefuture. While there were many good ones this one stuck out due to it having the talk of Citizen Brown (the not-so-silly doc). And it's also very touching and captures the friendship spirit greatly!

A favorite bttf fanart you saw this year? (please give us a link, not a screencap/repost!)

AGAIN MANY GOOD ONES.

this one by @future-boi LITTLE MARTY LITTLE MARTY

this one by @maxintime Cause Browns my beloved <3

this one by @bttf-dork (do u have any idea how long it took for me to find it, I thought I imagined it) THE COLORS, THE SHAPES AAA.

This one by @cheriboms The silly, the goofy, the little Baby Emmett (I WILL EAT THE FANART)

Did you create any bttf fanart or fanfic? If you did, what one(s) are you proudest of?

My time to shine :) /j

I am especially proud of June of Doom chapter 11 (Better known as Doc Has a Stroke literally). It took me two months to write, and it is still the longest one chapter I ever wrote (3k words). Also! I am afraid of hospitals and blood, so I have no idea how I wrote it. Also believe it or not, it was inspired by the animated series...

One more writing project I am proud of is Alteration. It is not because of how much I wrote, but how much I am still planning, and how many Ideas I have for it. I have every single detail planned :)

With art it's a bit more tricky. Since I am not THAT proud of any of them, but BTTF 2 end scene redraw is still one of my favs :)

How many times were you late for school this year?

At least three times, due to reasons outside of my control. But I hate being late.

Did you watch any other movies/tv shows with BTTF actors in them?

My Favourite Martian (1999) Where Lloyd plays an Alien. I watched it because of my silly alien doc au. And I had an amazing angst idea out of it (I wrote it for June of Doom)

That is about it...

Was there a memorable moment you heard a Huey Lewis song this year?

In the car. My parents are tired of me ranting about BTTF so Imagine me (not a singer) scream-singing Back In Time. :DDD

How many times did you fall down this year?

Honestly, either I didn't. Or I did too many times to count. Cause I don't remember

Did you get to see BTTF: The Musical? What was your experience like!

No...

How many times did your mom retell the story of how she and your father met?

Not many, maybe once.

If you could describe your year in a BTTF quote, which one would it be?

This one is the toughest.

It will either be "I repeat, Verne, this is a fool's errand." "Does that mean you're coming?" I always tagged along when I knew my friend was making a dumb decision.

Or “Why do we have to cut these things so damn close?”

⚡️LIGHTNING ROUND⚡️ Did you get to: go on any trains, skate on a skateboard, ride a horse, drive a Delorean, run in the rain, go to a dance, hang up a clock, play the guitar, pull an all-nighter, read science fiction, or drive thru Burger King this year?

To the dance, I even went as Marty McFly. (Even if it was 80' themed I did not win, they did not get the joke :(

Your future is whatever you make it! So what are you going to make of this coming year?

More art. Even more angsty fanfiction :)

I am tagging @unknooooow and I believe everyone else has been tagged. Maybe @jayisnotdrawing @bri-to-the-future @brinkle-brackle and @bentothefuturee @pine-killer55

Game by: @mjf-af

[lowkeyclueless5137]

And another dump! :D

Mostly Riddle edition

Instead of working on my comic, I am doodling away. :'3

But we have today concept art, sum au stuff... thingies :3

First up: a new au(still up to debate?)

I really loved the headmistress Rosehearts au from @adrianasunderworld, (pls check them out, they are a great writer) which inspired me to try and see how Michael(my Mr Rosehearts oc) would look in that position instead, with a sprinkle of dragon au and sum lore. :3

In here, Mrs Rosehearts tries to use her doormat husband to get in the position of headmaster, due to his clean record, but comes to regret it as Michael FINALLY grows a spine. As for Riddle? He's trying to survive school as the most popular guy(the students just want the tea on their new headmaster). Also yuu gets proper housing and nice treatment around.

Of course, this is just a concept idea, smth that I thought would be funny. Idk if the op of the au wishes for me to retailor it a bit, but alas. :'3

2. Sum bakugan au visual lore(spoilers for those who didn't read post the doom trials arc)

As u know, in the series I did expand a bit more of the magic and how it affects both bakugans and mages alike. :'3

Still Idia took the most bcs moi trying to figure out anatomy.

And Sebek has a small design ref to another comic I drew before. :3

Out of all of them, I like Epel and Floyd's designs. They just have that nice feel to them, dunno. :'3

It's pretty fun how their outfits have a tie in their lore. Epel and Sebek had to change theirs(also a funny thing: Sebek's stickers on his jacket are to remind him of his friends/family), there's Ace who bearly changes smth and then there's Idia and Floyd, who change almost nothing. Riddle is a bit of a special case, but again, his appearance is very lore heavy so there's that :3

I really wanted a comparison in between Floyd and Riddle, since out of our 6, these 2 tie in because of their appearances. Floyd as the one who is in his element, already at peace with his appearance, while Riddle(if u know u know ;3) struggles and thus clings to an item to push his agenda forward.

Tbh, now that I'm finishing this series, I can certainly say that Ace's interactions with his mom and Floyd's arc were my favorite. :3

3. The winx au :D

One was a ref practice and one was a silly idea I had at like... Dunno... It was months ago :v

I do like the winx au, mostly for how the plot and the lore allows everyone to have their adventures. Ye, the first years were the main focus, but there's definitely plenty of room for the others too :P

I wanted more to do the wings in the first one, while in the latter I was thinking of enchantix concepts that could both pass as pretty and also as utterly embarrassing due to plot reasons :'3

4. The om! Au mcs

This is a fun duo, so why tf not?

I see these outfits as their casuals around devildom. Mammon and asmo each had a say in the choices, but I was thinking that Riddle leans into more elegant\neat looks while Ace tries to go with a less tight look.

It's bonkers since these 2 sheets were done a year or so ago I believe... Like I had these in the dust for so long, even before the explanation au chapter came out :'3

Since this is the next fic series, I think it's apropos to have them in here, as a lil visual reference.

I will probably change so goddamn much on it bcs I am in a mood for more lore

Welp! That's all!

Until next time! Buh bye!

[staryscorner]

You saved me from the silence Pt1

Paring: Tomioka x reader

Y/n never liked silence it always reminded her of that lonely house she was in many years ago just waiting for someone to rescue her…until one day someone did.It was no other than her husband Giyuu Tomioka

On that day y/n was just wondering the halls of the once lively house just keeping the place neat.What she had witnessed a few months ago could never leave her mind.She had 2 loving parents and younger brother named Sora.She loved them so much.The house was always filled with happiness it was warm like the sun.The village was peaceful everyone knew The Hikaru family.

"Y/N!" I heard my mother calling

"COMING MOM" I said getting up and heading towards where I heard her voice.

"Yea mom didn't you want something?"

"Yes,could you bring Mr.Sato the kimono he ordered for his daughter." She said softly.

"Oh what's the occasion for Mr.Sato ordering the kimono" I said puzzled.

"Well he wanted to surprise his daughter for getting married"

"WHAT REALLY SHE GOT MARRIED WHEN!?!"

"Not too long ago,to a very kind man.They both love each other so much" my mother said pleasantly.

"Well I guess I gotta go drop it off soon don't want to keep him waiting"

"Ok sweetheart just make sure to get back soon you never know what can be lingering in the woods" my mother said concerned.

"ALRIGHTY MOM I'LL BE BACK AS SOON AS I CAN'' I shouted already going down the hill.

On my way to Mr.Sato's I was just wondering if I would ever get married.

When I was a little girl I thought a prince would just come one day and sweep me off my feet.I still do think it might happen,it's just not my time yet.

I got to Mr.Sato's. He looked so happy to see what was in my hands.

"AH Y/N LOOK HOW BIG YOU'VE GOTTEN!" he exclaimed

"Hi! Mr.Sato I see your doing well" I said in a cheery voice 

"Yes I've been well,I still can't believe my little girl will be getting married tomorrow." He said with some tears in his eyes.

"I'm so glad she found someone she could live happily with."

"I was worried that she would stay with us forever not like I don't want her to but I feel like it her time to finally leave the nest and let her fly on her own"

I stood there just thinking of what he said it was so sweet to hear him say all those things about his daughter I wonder if one day I would hear my parents say that to me on my wedding day

"Well here Mr.Sato here's the kimono you ordered for your daughter."

He took it out of the bag immediately

The dress was a bright red with white flowers covering the bottom and the sleeves.

"Look at this it's beautiful it was exactly what I imagined from the works of your mother's hands" he said in aw

He took a pouch out of his back pocket

"Here is the amount for the kimono and also a cake my wife made for you all "

I took it and thanked him walking back up to my house again 

I shouted "I HOPE YOUR DAUGHTER HAS A LOVELY WEDDING TOMORROW!!"

He just waved back and went inside to surprise her.

Once I made it back all the lights were out it was already dark 

I opened the door to be greeted to nothing but silence 

"Helloo are you guys all sleep" I whispered 

I looked around and stumbled into the kitchen to see if anyone was there and that was when I saw the scene that I would never forget for the rest of my life.

My heart dropped all I saw was blood BLOOD WHOSE BLOOD

The cake splattered on the floor

I went further in and I saw my brother just lying lifeless on the floor…

My mother on top of him and my father just holding them both in his arms 

"WHO THE HELL DID THIS COME OUT IF YOUR STILL HERE"

I heard something moving in the distance since it was dark.I couldn't really tell what it was but I saw a red pair of eyes just darted towards me. I was thrown on the floor, something was pinning me down. I tried to get up but it was useless.

"Well well well~ what do we have here wow such a beauty what are you doing around these parts of town!"

I couldn't do anything I was just paralyzed my body wouldn't move

 (GET UP GET UP GET UP)

all my brain could do is think about getting up

"Oh is the girly shy don't worry sweetie I won't do anything to you why would I kill an innocent pretty girl like you" he said tauntingly 

After that he just licked my ear and whispered

"You better leave this house or else I'll get you next"

Once I heard those words my instincts came through I kicked him and I ran into the woods near my home…

All I could think was WHY WHY ME WHY DIDN'T HE JUST KILL ME AND HAD LEFT MY FAMILY ALONE WHY WAS I THE ONLY ONE LEFT IT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ME I CAN'T DO ANYTHING SPECIAL

The more I thought the more I wanted to return to the home that was full of the warmth I once knew the warmth that was always there 

Once I thought the coast was clear the sun was already coming up. I didn't know how far I ran but it didn't matter because all I felt was pain.

I went back the same direction I came from hoping the demon I saw last night was gone 

I made it back

I went back to the kitchen to make sure it wasn't just a dream.It really wasn't a dream.My parents and brother were still in the same position they were when I saw them last night still drenched in the own blood I couldn't bare to see anymore.So I left and headed straight to the village to see if anyone could help me.The village was always lively but it felt like a ghost town everything was quite I went straight to Me.Sato's place because he might know what was going on I opened the door and I saw the same horrifying scene that was back at my home 

THEY WERE ALL DEAD

I saw Mr.Sato and tried to wake him up

"MR.SATO ITS ME Y/N PLEASE WAKE UP I NEED YOUR HELP"

There was no reply

I looked around a bit more in his home and I saw the whole family slaughtered his wife and his daughter.She was wearing the same red kimono I had brought down last night she looked as beautiful as I thought she would have looked like.It was just that it wasn't as bright as it was last night it was stained with a blood that said pain… 

She would never be able to marry the one she loved….

Pt2

A/n: AHHHHH THAT WAS SO MUCH WORK WROTE IT IN A DAY FOR 5 HOURS STRAIGHT HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY MY FIRST FIC!! \(°∆°)/

Also this is only part 1 there will be more to come ^^

[sunshine-tattoo]

i think a pretty big pet peeve of mine is people who don't dress for the weather/ climate and then complain when they are uncomfortable.

like the obvious one is early 20s white girls going clubbing and then freezing their asses off going home because there ain't a jacket among them.

but there are quite a few that are honestly worse.

example: a few summers ago I worked at a kids outdoor camp. for many days it was over 30C (90F) with over 80% humidity.

in other words HOT.

we also had very limited shade and were usually in the full sun for most of the day.

so i made it very clear to all the parents and caregivers that every child was required 4 things:

1. Sunscreen

2. Sunglasses

3. Water

4. Weather appropriate clothing like shorts and t-shirts

for the most part I didn't have any trouble.

kids came with what they needed and I made sure they took plenty of water breaks and applied sunscreen every hour.

but there were two instances where things got bad.

Instance One

a mom refused to have her child wear sunscreen. I don't know if it was a fear of chemicals thing or her just believing that because their family was slightly olive complexed but whatever.

either way this kid went three days in intense UV with no sunscreen.

can you guess what happened?

he got so badly burned that he had to miss the rest of camp.

I was furious.

this kid had to stay home and be miserable all because his mama didn't listen to me about sun safety.

darker skin tones might protect you a little compared to paler ones but at the height of summer it don't matter what shade you are.

You. Will. Get. Burned.

my family is mixed and my auntie always said:

"Black don't crack but it does fry."

so me (white as fuck) and my cousins (50 shades of brown) wore the same amount of sunscreen every summer.

Instance Two

the camp being in Toronto we had a lot of first generation kiddos from a wide variety of cultural backgrounds.

which was awesome. we all learned so much from one another.

except for one family.

they were from Saudi Arabia and had only been in Canada for a few months.

they sent their little girl to camp in full traditional clothing.

- long dress

- legs and arms covered

- head scarf

which in air conditioned spaces or ontario's frozen winters is fine.

but NOT in the middle of summer with no place to cool down.

I tried to talk to the parents about it, telling them that their girl was gonna be hella overheated all day and that was a health risk.

the dad just scoffed and said "our country is much hotter than this and everyone dresses this way she will be fine."

yes its hotter but its also a DRY heat.

I may live in Canada now, but I grew up in the swamps of the south eastern USA.

if there's one thing I know, it's that you can't treat humid heat and dry heat like they are the same thing.

in dry heat, flowy layers like traditional Saudi clothes are perfect. they keep the sun off and encourage breeziness.

humidity don't work that way.

layers will only suck up moisture like a sponge and lead to burns and rashes.

the key is limited clothes (like shorts and t-shirts) and then coating yourself in sunscreen and chugging water to keep up with the sweating.

I tried to explain this to the parents, but they didn't listen.

And you know what happened?

this poor girl passed out from heat exhaustion and we had to call a fucking ambulance.

then. because the EMTs told the parents directly that this girl needed different clothes. the parents took her out of camp entirely!

they would have rather wasted a few grand and not let their kid go to camp all because they refused to dress for the weather.

like I understand dress and tradition and faith are important but not to the point of risking personal safety.

bottom line of these stories: I need people to be less dumb when it comes to how they dress and what they do in extreme weather.

either dress for the day. or have a plan to keep yourself safe like going inside regularly to cool off/ warm up.

temperature-caused aliments are no fucking joke and they can easily be avoided if you actually use your brain.

[baekhvuns]

THOSE TWT LINKS AREN'T OPENING 😭😭😭

You mean ghatak or whtv the name of the movie was but the first part was superior alr idek why they decided to make a second part. Bruh it was painful to watch i just hope this one is much much muchhh better.

Nahh ur right, i was at first shocked when I saw Vicky x Sara but ..ig she fit the role. I hope her acting has improved. And as of Varun, he is a good actor but sometimes ykkkk...things just don't work. His recent movie bedhiya...i never watched it. I want to but I'm afraid I'll get disappointed 😭

Yess, during soty, i immediately became a sid girl BCZ HE WAS TALL, HE WAS BETTER, HE WAS THAT GUY!! and yet PPL fell for Varun *smh* but I'm glad everyone is realising what they hv to.

What is tht movie poster? Never heard of it but I'm pretty sure it'll be better thn adipurash BCZ WHAT EVEN IS THT MOVIE??? they literally took 6 months off to 'improve' and 'correct' their mistakes WHAT DID THEY DOO?? They made it worse 😭😭. And plus if they don't know how to use VFX in an appropriate amount why do they even bother??? And saif Ali Khan as the Ravan 😭😭 look i hv no complaints abt the actor and actresses chosen BUT THEY RUINED RAMAYANA! growing up, I've watched many animated spiritual movies based on ramayan or any other lore like lord Krishna, Mahabharata but adipurash......uh-uh. first they said it was based on ramayana then they literally changed their words saying it has taken 'inspiration' frm ramayana.

What's disappointing it came from the same director who directed Tanhaji. Can u believe it? AND WHAT EVEN IS KRITI DOING HERE?? 😭😭😭 Did not expect this from her but ig every actor has a bad movie.

But ykw I'll still watch it..obv after it's been released just for laughing out loud don't judge me.

But i rewatched 10 things i hate abt you....and I've fallen in love again with heath ledger 😭😭 THE ACCENT, THE DEEP VOICE AUGHHH and tht damn promposal. It'd forever be on my wishlist bcz....Indian schools don't hv proms :') in short Indian schools don't hv fun things....they r uptight and all abt studying.

Yeah I've heard abt tht movie, but...we gotta wait YK, idek what to expect now!! BUT I'm not raising my standards again. Always expect the unexpected. "Rocky aur Rani ki Prem kahani" .... Kind of like "ajab Prem ki gazab kahani"

😭😭😭😭 i cn never escape tht movie. But what was ur first movie like what would u say was the first movie tht made a huge impact on u? Mine was...ajab Prem ki kahani :') i was obsessed. And three. My father bought like 2-3 dvds just so tht i could watch it on repeat. No wonder I became hopeless romantic in the future 😭 AND I used to say I'm going to marry Ranbir when I grow up LORDDDD my family members still tease me💀💀💀 imagine....a Punjabi family teasin u...it's hell.

And tht is why I like soft boys. Although my parents did tell me the first movie they took me to watch was "malamaal weekly" ..... Rlly? I was an infant!!! But I think my subconscious picked up on the genre...i like comedy ALOT!

NOOOO ill put them under the bar 😭😭

and this

yeah the one! the first part was superior 90’s but the second part…he should stay away from movies and also the politics <3 the acting is overacting so i guess it fits her 😭😭😭 hoping she gets a role like geet from jab we met and hopefully she acts well for it <3

eh that recent movie of his is okay, funny at some aspects but i watched it bc it was in the stree universe but it was decent, like i get the vision, very twilight…but eh it’s alright id watch it again! arijit’s song saved imo 🤚🏻

SID WAS AND IS SUPERIOR!!!! from soty, ek villain, that one movie w pari, kapoor and sons + shershaah i like the way he chooses his projects but that omg movie w ajay devgan was not it 😭😭😭 i hope he goes into some action movies,,, like romcom actions, a mathew mcoughey style,,, like a mr and mrs smith movie w katrina or deepika (honestly want srk to do that movie remake w aishwariya so bad like imagine it being called mr and mrs khan 😭😭😭😭😭 A NEED A DESPERATE NEED !!!!)

that movie poster is the hanuman movie??? it looks nice from the poster, NO BC WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT MOVIE???? I FIRST THOUGHT ITS NOT THAT BAD BUT THEN I HEARD THE DIALOGUES ON REELS AND JUST ???? NO MF WAY THEY MADE HIM SAY TERE BAP KA???? EXCUSE ME??? THE DISRESPECT??? i got so pissed just from those lines like wtf u mean saif is ravaan??? honestly speaking saif can be the ravaan IF the vfx and his character was written nicely bc saif can deliver! “inspiration from ramanya” bro this a bhojpuri movie disguised as a bollywood one???

FROM TANHAJI???? damn,,, i didn’t like that movie 😭😭😭😭 so no wonder fbsndbskjclxhk

HEATH !!!! HEATH UR SO RIGHT HES SO 😭😭😭🤚🏻 I WISH TO SEE MORE OF HIS TALENT BUT ITS TOO LATE,,, THAT scene where he plays w the fire in the science room is forever engraved in my head,, don’t uni’s have formals?? then reels be lying to me then 🔫 damn my school didn’t have proms but they did have annual day,, considered it my prom <3

YEAH im not putting my expectations very high,,, their paring seems to lack the chemistry just from that song release for me,,, like no emotion in the eyes that says love me,, no srk eyes 😭😭 and ranveer for don?? 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️ ngl he suits villain roles but srk??? how u gonna do don without the don????

the first movie that made an impact on me was jab we met, ive watched that movie over 50 times now, it started my hopeless romanticness,,, something about the simplicity of meeting on a train, two complete opposite people finding themselves entangled w each others life??? yEAAAAAAH

LMFAOOOO SO EVERYONE HAD THE RANBIR PHASE SEE HE IS CHARMING AS FUCK BUT HES A PLAYBOY AND IM NEVER RHWNDBAK him w anushka >> LMFAOO IF UR FUTURE SPOUSE ISNT A RANBIR LOOKALIKE WE DONT WANT IT

omg??? that movie i totally forgot about,, coincidentally my first movie was ranbir’s debut film 😭😭😭 slept thru the entirety <: but ur so right, comedy is >>>>> but also those movies like znmd with that poetry 😩😩