#can tabs my beloved btw

[patched-crow]

Current progress on my jacket!

Im gonna add a few more patches and such tonight but im hella proud!

[xiaoluclair]

you probably already answered and i missed it (apologies), but i give you an opportunity for a list of 5 more 🫶🏻

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox of the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. Learn to know your mutuals and followers 💕🥰

darling! hello, you are forgiven (just about) <3

hearing about things that make other people happy

talking to someone new

ticking anything off the metaphorical to-do list

race weekend memes / general shitposting

a good strawberry

[cannibalhellhound]

Hello :3 To continue @thatmexisaurusrex's new ask game: please recommend at least three of your favorite BuckTommy or BuddieTommy fic authors, artists, meta writers, gif makers, or edit makers. Maybe sing their praises a bit if you'd like. And if you want to, send this to a few other people and spread the good vibes 🥰

AIGHT SO I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT THIS

I just needed time to actually think about people and remember their usernames shhhh👍🏼

Fistly calling you @screaming-universe and @buffaluff out because it doesn't matter if it's BuckTommy or BET you are just amazing with it like

The Art!!! The Writing!!!!!! Just 🤌🏼✨

We are crazy au buddies and I love that to the core, besides you deal with me throwing my WIPs at you like a proud toddler :D

@bigfootsmom SAPPHIC POLYFIRE!!! Molly I love your art so much I could cry looking at it. It's that nice. Go look at their stuff (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

@inawickedlittletown hehehe werewolf au my beloved. Also DRAGONS and so much more I'm just losing it reading your stuff on ao3 rn. You are also responsible for making me go back to my wolf drawing roots, take responsibility smh (affectionate)

@bucksbignaturals beloved mutual your BuddieTommy meme is in my gallery to this day just so you know (top tier writing too go check it out👌🏼)

@kinardsboy PUMKIN!!!! Talking to you about wild animal dad tommy is a delight and your BuckTommy art is funny and amazing

Btw I love how we just end up sharing lfj titty pics, possums and otters because that's just how my brain works at this point. ALSO Punisher au because that's a thing I needed apparently

Now the BET trifecta because they're open in a separate google tab to locate them when they update

@prettyboybuckley I am hitting you with a pillow full of love because your writing has me cackling and screaming while reading "This can't be love" like, probably the first BET fic I started reading and I can't sing enough praises about it (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

@xunandran again sharing with anyone that asks for recs because You're the two has me kicking my feet and wanting to throttle those three with love 👍🏼

@callofthecurlew This love is ours had me screaming at the screen but I love it and I'm hugging you too

^ this is to say go read their stuff because it's great 😌

Last but not least @sunglassesmish you are the lfj content mastermind and THIS post specifically lives rent free in my brain, I'd play it at my funeral 👍🏼 thank you for doing all that hard work (and giving me so many references for drawings) you're amazing ( ◕◡◕)っ ♡

Anyway this is the max amount of love and kindness I can spread in a single word vomit idk how coherent it is lmao but seriously ily keep being great

[etrevil]

hey!! I absolutely love the vibes of your blog! I’m getting into bungo stray dogs (or trying to :’) ) and since you seemingly write fics for it, do you have more recs?? I don’t really know what the main pairings are but I like to use fics as a way to see if I’ll like the fandom and pairs!! Thank you!!

you're making me crack my knuckles because DAMN AM I NOW EXCITED :DDD

terms used: bsd (bungou stray dogs), hp (harry potter), mha (my hero academia), soukoku (chuuya/dazai), shin soukoku (atsushi/akutagawa), chuuda (where chuuya tops), fyozai (dazai/fyodor), fyolai (fyodor/nikolai)

First and foremost is the widely beloved I Was Screaming Your Name Through The Radio by ElectricSplatter, which is just a rollercoaster of emotions that grip you by the throat. Do note that the chapters are hella long, but enjoyable. The relationships are fleshed out beautifully.

Magic and Mystery by Allegory_for_Hatred is also a good start because it's a bsd and hp crossover that's just, amazing. Had me up at 3am until I physically could not read. There's an ongoing sequel too!

wtf, since when are you married? by xxalwayssofia is a short, quick laugh that, for me, had one of the best characterization for soukoku. Sofia's stories in general (check her account!) have got the character's personality traits down with little creative liberties.

Ne Chuuya, won't you marry me? is another one by xxalwayssofia, and I die of laughter because of this on a daily basis.

Now, I may be mean for suggesting this, but this fic is a diamond found within a gold mine that will eventually end you up in jail because some rich dude probably owned it first. In summary, it hurts. Like a gunshot wound (wink wink to the readers). And that is Ruiner by gev_ao3 (rated the E-est of E's)! The long-awaited consequence chapter is already out for this one, so when you binge read it the ending will hopefully be satisfying. Just be aware this is incredibly graphic, psychological, and angst-filled to the brim.

I read If the Far Side Saw You by birbleh a considerable time ago, but it both pinches and caresses my heart all the same. I haven't anything else to say other than give it a chance.

Ice Queen by TheHighQueen is a great ongoing Dazai genderbend fic, that follows canon with interesting diverging road stops.

This Color Ain't It by justcallmedude has Kenji, our lovable super strength-powered farmer, as a main character! Crossover between bsd and mha with a dash of angst thrown here and there.

For a shin soukoku pairing fic, I'd suggest Fair Ankles by spirallings (rated E) and love knows no boundaries by dangodangomilk; fun, interesting stories that aren't that long, the latter's a oneshot and the former's ugh, just around 100k words :>

One of the first bsd fics I've read, which is with a fyozai pairing, is Letters from the Underground by ktaem! The writing style has its own refined edge, with the exploration of a what-if scenario that had me by hook, line, and sinker. This fic is still in my tab group because I always keep rereading it!

Now if we're entering the explicit territory, I will forever recommend my favorite series (pairing is chuuda btw) Ineffable Partners by Ch_ee_rios. The eighth installment is currently updating, and I promise, you will cry- or at least feel a significant gut punch.

Head Full of Lies by AbsoluteNegation, as my friend one said, is where the good shit's at. The premise had me instantly curious and soukoku's dynamic is wonderful, messy, and DAMN I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH.

Mors Vincit Omnia by themadtree, an soukoku and fyolai fic that will have you bending over and dying of laughter and pain. The author's other works (akai!) are also very good.

The series all that is left by alaruya is a personal favorite of mine. The writing style is unique, with choppy sentences and tear-jerker lines. Was the first story that ever had me thinking, "god I need to bookmark this," and I did.

Bottom of The Deep Blue Sea by arkastadt is a filthy, guilty pleasure. (can you tell I'm an avid bottomzai reader?)

And that's it... I think? I'm also willing to suggest Leafing Through The Pages, I Found You by YunaYamiMouto, but letting you know it's an ongoing reaction fic of the bsd cast to Dazai's life (with the author's own creative choices and headcanons), so there will be a lot, and I mean a HECK TON of spoilers. Which, to be fair, the other fics do have in sprinkles, but this tackles novel events that maybe you'd wish to read at your own pace :D

also shameless plug I have my own fic, the heat of your orange, and I know there's only one chapter but I'm trying my best to update soon

Happy reading!

[vounoura]

Hello there! I realize that this is a shot in the dark, but are you by any chance the person that used to have a world building side-blog about Ceathin? I just had a bolt of memory about it and had to go searching through an old email to find any traces of it (i used to send you asks in 2018 about it). I have been missing that world dearly, and if you were at ALL willing I would be so so thankful if you would be willing to share any of that lore. If not, I completely understand, have a good day!

Hi! Not a long shot at all, yes that was me! The blog was mystilfyn, I still have it but it’s been locked for….I want to say four or five years.

Everything on that blog got extremely outdated about a year or two after I made it, and in a bad mental health episode I got a little paranoid about people seeing my personal work - I’m still a little skeevy about it today, to be completely honest, but the headworld itself is still going very strongly and has been for the last six to eight years or so. A lot of it has been scrapped and rebuilt iterations over the years, so while I’m extremely touched that you still remember it (I remember you, btw!! Hello!!) I’m not comfortable bringing the blog back atm bc it’s not an accurate representation of my work anymore, and it’s changed (and I’ve gotten much better at certain aspects, ie. conlanging) as I’ve grown up with it.

So while there’s not much I can bring back or show you, I can show you a snippet of grammar in my conlang document (in a perpetual state of unfinished):

(big thanks to the conlang reddit guide on active-stative languages I pulled a lot of the terminology from as well!)

and a couple pics / comms of one of my most beloved characters from there, Ryon•Kuráán•Valkaan ['ʁiʊn 'kuren vʊl'ka:n], long-murdered immortal bloodlord, godking and god of conquest;

and the first tab of my flight rising lair has vague snippets of lore since my main g1 project is headworld stuff!

Unfortunately bc 99% of my lore is kept in DMs with the friend I worldbuild / conlang with (you know who you are <3), I don’t have any central place I can point you to, but if you have specific questions I’m happy to answer them here!

[perpetuallyuneloquent]

okay i know i already asked one but also i wanna kno whats in casin nitrate

CASEIN NITRATE MY BELOVED

also wow i opened the tab and i saw that you asked this 15sec ago this has gotta be a record

anyway i love this one as soon as i'm done with the kakashi and gojo fics this one is gonna take priority

The way his eyes crinkled ever so slightly, the way he tried to grin at Kayden through his busted lip, the way he tried to reassure him, the Great Kayden Break that “there’s no need to worry because I’ll never tell anyone… even if I die.”  Even if I die. But the only thing Kayden could remember seeing in Jiwoo’s face was the haze of pain that he couldn’t hide with that stupid sunshine attitude of his, the way he could barely stay awake because his body couldn’t even muster up the strength to breathe without making those awful rasping noises. (Each strained inhale was like a knife against Kayden’s heart.)

this is from eleceed btw WHICH THERE WILL BE A NEW CHAPTER OF SOON so much excitement for that, and this is like one of those father/older brother figure/teacher & son/younger brother figure/student relationships, kinda like gojo & his students and team kakashi and team minato (can you tell i love these LOL)

ah yes, wip ask game!

[wildelydawn]

No I have to enquire about the ChanKim. Like. Legally. Like no actually I need it. Hello. Hi. Please. More of your delicious thoughts. I'm obsessed with you and your beautiful brain forever btw 💌

HELLO HI, welcome to my ChanKim agenda.

I have only a single thought: that ChanKim is violent and/or manipulative towards each other. I don't have more thoughts for you.

But.

I have two scenarios for you, if you want to read:

I. (tw: manipulation, implied sexual coercion)

“Do you wonder?” Kim whispers.

Chan says nothing. Averts his eyes like he does when the boy’s father gives him orders.

Boy. Not a boy. Kim hasn’t been a boy in years. At twenty three years old, the youngest son of the Theerapanyakun family is older. And more. Musician. Assassin. Model. Drug trafficker. 

A man. 

At nearly two decades his senior, Chan had watched him grow from petulant child to ruthless Mafia leader. Growth didn’t happen overnight; growth happened under Chan’s hand and discipline because Khun Korn could not be bothered to do it himself.

Chan had not realized that training Kim would result in Kim learning more than hand to hand combat. He could talk his way out of any scenario. Or worse, into. Chan recalls when Kinn deployed Kim and Chan to a client’s home. Kinn explained that the client had dues, and that the safe in his nightclub could pay for his debts handsomely if given the choice between it and his life.

Kim came back with the money and the deed to the club. And not a hair out of place, not a sweat broken.  The boy-turned-man had a predisposition to the art of manipulation. 

Chan should know. 

He’s being manipulated now. Kim’s been playing the long game. Chan figures he planted the seed years ago: insisting Chan spar with him when a younger bodyguard would be a better choice. Requesting Chan as his bodyguard and being obviously disappointed with Big’s appointment. Catching the man’s eyes, and if Kim’s lucky, his sleeve too. Just to remind Chan that smooth talking and violence were not the only traits that Kim developed over the years. Kim has a face, too. One that people like to look at, listen to, and that he could play it the minute Chan falters.

And now, Kim wants to go all in for whatever secrets his father has hidden in his study.

Chan expects the sleeve thing again: predictable. He has seen Kim’s dance before because it works. A touch. A pinch. Lean in, a mouth to their ear and then move away and leave them guessing and come back and pull on them, gently, let them believe that you see something they don’t, that you have answers they need. Offer them something sweet and intangible. Freedom. Purpose. Assurance. Peace. All of which are possible and fleeting, that secures them crawling back to you. Open the blinds. Close them. Check your phone, smile, put it away. He’ll tell you it’s okay. It’s safe now. You did good.

Chan doesn’t move, in case he does shoot Kim down, which would be the right thing to do. Chan will die amidst Korn’s chess game, but it’s a death he is contently anticipating. Korn had provided him with luxuries and pleasures, so Chan’s loyalties lie with Korn above all else, no matter how beautiful, young, spiteful, foolish, cunning, tempting Korn’s son appears.

But Kim doesn’t need to know that. 

“I wonder. I wonder all the time.”

-

II. (tw: blackmailing, violence, implied sexual assault/noncon)

Fuck.

Kim can feel eyes on his back. He knew coming back here would be a problem. But he has to know. Korn told him nothing besides his stupid resurrection plan that Kim holds little interest in. Unsatisfied, he crash landed into his father’s study, tearing open the books on the shelves, opening the locked drawer and finding no answers.

“Are you here to lecture me about how to keep a tidy room?”

Chan says nothing. So Kim keeps going. He takes out a knife and drags it across his father’s beloved arm chair. Worn stuffing and fabric explode out like a cartoon. Nothing. Next is the coffee table. Where was that tab? Ah yes, under, left hand side. Kim hits the switch, and another secret compartment within the table opens.

Nothing.

“You must know,” Kim drawls as he looks at the hideous globe on the shelf, hoping to beckon the man to slip out something. “Either Korn or Porsche told you.” He takes hold of it and lets it crash heavily to the ground. The ceramic shatters instantly. Hilariously, there is a kilogram of snow inside, but that’s hardly of interest.

“What do I know, Khun Kim?”

“Where they hid the brother,” Kim accidentally answers too quickly. 

But it’s over. The head bodyguard of the Theerapanyakun family has a smirk on his face. Chan has won. Kim can keep up the passive look, pretend that he has a fighting chance, but it’s over.

“I do know.”

Kim can get one more bite in though. It would feel damn good to do so. “Korn whispered it into your ear last night?”

In a flash, Chan pins Kim against the bookcase, his calloused hand around Kim’s throat. The wood digs painfully into his back and the furniture rattles alongside his bones.

“You should respect your father.”

“Does that include getting fucked in the ass by him?” Kim grits out. He’s not afraid. Chan has done much worse for far less. “Must be nice knowing all your needs are taken care of.”

Chan’s grip tightens. There’s no pain though. Something else, something so hideous runs through Kim as Chan’s face clouds over. 

“I can give you the location tomorrow, if you'd rather.”

Kim’s body goes numb and it is not Chan’s doing. Tomorrow is too late. Vegas and Gun will be here in hours. Kinn and Porsche will take up arms against him, and by the looks of his uncle’s army and his cousin’s idiocy, there is a very good chance none of them will make it out alive.

But Porchay can. Porchay can make it out alive. 

“Or you can behave,” Chan says quietly. “And when you’re done, I’ll give you the coordinates. And you can run off and play house with the brat for as long as you want.”

Kim closes his eyes; Chan loosens his hand; Kim, defeated, reaches for the guard’s dress pants. 

“It’s a pity you destroyed your father’s armchair. I quite liked bending you over it.”

IF YOU READ ALL OF THIS, THANKS :)

[zeawesomebirdie]

I hope I can still send you asks and you can answer them? Just to say that I'm trying to do the Snarry rec list but my memory is SO BAD lol there are a few I know have to go on there but otherwise? I'm going to have to reread so much fic..... Not that it's an imposition of course, but it does feel weird taking a look through my collection and realising 1) there are less fics than I thought and 2) I can't associate any summary to so many of the titles! Where has my Snarry knowledge gone!! Anyway I realise I forgot to rec you Diagnosis by MaidenMotherCrone for Tomarry fics, which is an error because I'm not sure I'd want to reread it but it's really a Whole Thing in an overall positive way. Also I never gave you the name of the absolute epic I felt weird reccing on main because there's some niche kinks in it? Obviously you don't seem like you open a 500k fic and come out of it a week later without having done anything else but read it, given what you've said about taking breaks in Pacify (which tbh fair. A lot of stuff happens there) so giving you a 800k fic series on top of all the rest seemed a lot you know :') but whenever you want, you know where to find me hehe. Anyway I'll go like brush my teeth and all, hope this sends, bye bye!!

Looks like I can still receive asks! Whether or not you’ll be notified when I answer this (and I guess, also whether or not tumblr will even allow me to post it,,,) still remains to be seen, but based on last night’s experiment with @’ing you, you won’t be notified. I’ll try to keep my reblogging to a minimum until you’ve seen this!!

For what it’s worth, I did send in another support ticket this morning, but I’ll update my pinned post with that info after I’ve answered this

There is no rush at all for the snarry rec list!! Take your time beloved!! I agree that rereading all that fic isn’t all that bad of a thing, but omg, it must be so daunting to have that list to go through, even if it’s shorter than you thought it was! I mean, I’m sitting here with 12 pages in my marked for later tab on Ao3, while entirely forgetting to read both the fic I currently have open and the books I have from the library lol, so I can def relate to having a list to read through. Just please don’t feel rushed or even obligated, you have the best recs but really it’s okay if I wait for it!

(but tbh, at this point I’ve read enough snarry that I feel like I could make an actual rec list myself, even if like 90% of my bookmarks have come from the @houseofsnarry discord. I might have to do that. No one has asked for my recs since I totally flubbed that one ask requesting my quiobi recs and I revealed that at the time I wasn’t really reading, but now I read so much more, even if it’s primarily snarry and irl books. Idk. I’ll have to think about it and also wait until I get un-shadowbanned, and also also I’ll have to read a little bit more so I can round out any list like that,,,)

Omg so Diagnosis looks like an absolutely incredible fic 👀 that summary, those tags!! No worries about not remembering anything other than the positive vibes, I’ve loved literally everything you’ve rec’d thus far and I’m sure I’ll love this too!

Feel free to drop the name of that longfic btw 👀👀👀👀 I don’t often go for fics over 150k unless they come highly recommended, but most of the time I do finish them really quickly. I got through Unrestrained by Lizzy00305 in three days, All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89 in about a week and a half, and, while they’re obv not fic, I did read the first five HP books in 8 days, and then HBP and DH in about a week and a half. It depends on what’s going on irl and how into the fic I am tbch.

Rn it’s taking me forever to get through Transparency by oldesthuntress even though it’s literally my favourite fic of all time only because I have so much going on irl. My fatigue will catch up to me soon enough, and all I’ll be capable of doing (affectionate) soon will be reading and animal crossing, and even if I can’t read it for a little bit, I do have surgery right before Christmas which will mean only reading for a few weeks!

(for what it’s worth, I’m currently planning to save Pacify for after surgery, because tbch I think that’s the perfect read for when I’ll be stuck in bed for two weeks!)

But anyway! Yes please drop that link! No fic is too long if it comes highly recommended!!

All my love to you beloved, I hope the rest of your day goes well!! Thanks for stopping in!!

[lilly-llama]

Some family dynamics

So far, the challenge is enjoyable. I make myself a promise not to care about the "beauty" (I hope we all know why it's quoted) of my characters, and try to get rid of the supersim_bestmother_topnotchkid_omgiamsoperfect vibe. And it's so... freeing. Anyway, some of my favorite photos of this beloved family >_<

Nora and Patrick doing homework

Nora is telling her mom the main news.          

Btw, a little bit earlier than Nora, Zoey gave birth to twins, Iren and Andrew.

Brothers (you can surely tell but dat nose)xD

Don't trust the witch of the forest xD

Ok, I had too much fun with Zoey and Shift+Tab lol

Already non-playable Nora peeking at her parent's house.

You can find the main legacy tree here. It has a little story on each sim, as well as their stats. More is coming up!

[princemick-archive]

Hi I absolutely love your gifs, do you mind explaining a bit how you do your sharpening and coloring? Bcus your gifs just seem to pop, if that makes sense

hi dude, yeah I'd love to explain my colouring and sharpening process to you, I'm gonna explain how I went from

this

to this

under the tab!

ALSO! for basic gif stuff heres my other tutorial that explains how I basic sharpen and make the gifs!

so first of, Mick at Haas is easy to make pop.

it's the same reason people use it instead of green screen. there's no blue in a humans natural skin tone so when you play around with the colour it will only change the placed the blue is intentionally not the skin/hair etc

that's why it's harder to colour for example Charles w Ferrari, red is always in a humans skin also why it is easy to colour Seb at Aston because green again, is not.

so, anyways, let's talk sharpening first because I changed it a lil. I still use the same 'spice' preset from the tutorial my second sharpening is just a bit diff by trowing up the radius a lil.

then, the fun part. COLOUR!!! so first thing, the layers for this gif look like this:

so. to explain all of that a lil I'm gonna go down every layer and explain why and how I use them

btw these are all called 'adjustment layers' you can grab these at the bottom of your layers channel and whre u see that lil half moon thingy, thats where ur adjustment layers are hiding.

also important, I colour very instinctually, I just do whatever feels right at the time.

then, if you only wanna learn the basics and easy stuff especailly if you're new id recommend most focusing on learning how 'colour balance' 'levels' 'curves' and 'selective colour' works.

levels:

so, levels looks like this, you can use the lil pipets on the left to grab what u wanna lighten or darken. the top is blacks and the bottom one is whites.

most of my gifs have two levels layes. one were I use the pipet to grab the blackest part of the gif and one were I use it to grab the whitest part.

then I just play around with the little nubs at the bottom to darken and lighten shit.

vibrance:

this is very basic and easy, I just trow up the vibrance a lil to get the colour to pop out a lil

channel mixer:

then channel mixer. okay, so, this is new for me, I am still figuring this out but I use the little output channel to grab diff colours (u can ofc choose between blue, red and green)

then I chance the nubs a lil around to change the colour. channel mixer grabs the colours you have in the gif and makes them just a lil different.

this way when your whole shot is for example far to yellow you can trow up the blue to contrast the yellow and neutralise it.

brightness contrast:

well, again pretty obvious, I dont like my gifs to have unatural high contrast so i trow down the contrast a lot and depending on what kind colouring I wanna do I either plus or minus the brightness but I also keep that at 0 a lot

colour balance:

this is kinda the easy version of channel mixer. if your gif is to yellow well. you go in the plus on the midtones with the yellow/blue line. its easy and can help neutralise a gif without to much hassle.

on the top part were 'midtones' is right now you can change it to change the colours on highlights and shadows too which is wonderful cuz that way u can specify where and what u wanna change what colour and neutralise what.

(it also helps w more creative colouring for example if ur planning on making a gif purple u can trow up the yellow, megenta and red)

curves:

now, okay, curves, tbh, the one I find most intimidating, this lil motherfucker can change ur whole colour w one lil slide to the left, it svery useful, you can again at the top were the lil 'rbg' is change it to specify green, red and blue. this curves u can do a shit ton with.

you can play around w the line as much as u want curve it all ways u want so honestly, just play around w it do some random shit see what works for u.

selective colour:

and then, my most beloved, the best lil adjustment layer in the bunch.

this funky lil layer grabs what ever colour u choose and can take and change it however u like. so if you for example are in this yellow layer and you grab the yellow line the ones thats on -19 and you put it left it makes all the yellow in your gif disspear turn into a pinkish purple.

that is how tou can make colours really pop. thats how I make my yellows are all the way in the minus and the megenta is in the plus. that way your blue goes really blue and deep. I obviously use the 'cyan' to make it pop even more to

but this lil adjustment layer is how a lot of us gif makers make out fav lil pink/purple colourings.

and then obv make sure if you dont compress ur gif that its under 10mb when u export that makes ur gif the highest quality posible with obviously makes the sharpness sharper and les grainy.

now, HAVE FUN!!! DO SOME FUN STUFF!!! and good luck and never be afraid to ask me things or show me gifs uve made using my techniques.

[wrathofmadelinekahn]

February 2021 Music Wrap-Up

Despite February being the shortest month, it sure went out swinging music-wise- I had 4 new-to-me albums, including one that is most likely making it to the Best of 2021 (I know it’s a bit soon to call it, but the hyperfixation wants what it wants!) I feel like this month is closer to what my bonkers taste usually is, which I would describe as “No Taste, No Logic, Only Vibes!”

So, in rough order of how I listened to them:

1. The Apple Tree (Original Broadway Cast)

The way that Barbara Harris’ Wikipedia page is now a permanent tab on my phone... I’m sorry to my beloved MASH mutuals and to Mr. Alan “Only Valid Man” Alda, but this was Barbara Harris’ show from beginning to end (I know B&H wrote it for her, but it is... very obvious that it was a star vehicle). @oldbaton​ posted her Tony performance for Gorgeous and I watched it 5 times on loop, then went to YouTube and watched it for another 45 minutes, then listened to the whole album once before settling on the second half exclusively.

When I tell you that Ms. Harris Has The Range!!! She plays three different characters in this show and she manages to not only make them distinct characters but she makes them SOUND completely different???!!!! The fact that she was critically acclaimed every time she was on stage but as soon as she won her Tony she quit Broadway for good????!!! Every time I think of her I go bonkers in Yonkers I tell you!!! Is this what y’all feel for *insert theater dame here* bc I Get It Now

2. Tarzan (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

I know I am neither the first nor the last to express this sentiment, but permit me to once again say: MR. COLLINS... PHIL, MY DUDE MY GUY, BUDDY, PAL- YOU DID NOT HAVE TO GO SO HARD ON THE MONKEY MOVIE!!! (Yes I know they’re apes, I would never mis-species Terk)

He did though, and I’m glad we’re all as a generation re-discovering this, the best Disney soundtrack (This Is Not Up For Debate.) Why?

1. It Slaps in its entirety with the exception of the *NSYNC cover of ‘Trashin’ The Camp’ which was muted after the first listen, however the reminder that this was made in the 90s was very funny

2. Glenn Close was in this and I just never noticed??

and most importantly, I am thrilled to introduce a new musical genre that will hopefully be making repeat appearances throughout the year:

3. Whoops, You Made A Trans Song!

Thrilled to announce that both ‘Son of Man’ and ‘Strangers Like Me’ are Trans Songs! Yes, I do have long, rambly explanations and lyric analyses as to why, but also? If You Know You Know. :)

3. Etazhi by Molchat Doma

I saw this shitpost on my dash ages ago and was haunted by it until it popped back up this month. According to Wikipedia, “their sound was influenced by 1980s Russian rock music and has been described as post-punk, new wave, synth-pop, and cold wave.” So I like all this, apparently? Cool-cool-cool.

The fact that I have no idea what they’re saying and have no real interest in finding out just adds to the chill vibes for me personally, definitely something I can listen to when I simultaneously need music but also can’t listen to anything or I’ll get overwhelmed and die in real life.

4. Helping Hands by Butcher Boy

Ok ok ok ok OK OKAAAAAAAYYYYY. THIS. This album. I caught @mrspider​‘s art stream a few weeks back (Loved it btw, combination chill and bonkers energy in the most wholesome way possible, also he’s the funniest person on Tumblr hands-down AND another trans Will, so check him out!) and he randomly played “Whistle And I’ll Come To You”, which activated my hyperfixation sleeper agent bc I have literally Not Stopped Listening To This Album. Seriously. That was 11 days ago and I have barely listened to anything that is not this for more than a song or two until tonight because nothing else has been Hitting like this!

I’ve gone through the wringer through this one, lads- not a single skip, every song has been my favorite at one point; I’ve full-on It’s Always Sunny mentally dissected just about every word John Blaine Hunt has gently deposited in my brain.

I also may have my Queer Lens screwed on too tight bc I’m pretty sure it was not their intention, but some stuff on here Is Gay! Again, I can make the long, rambly argument or you can give it a listen for yourself and see what you think. ;)

[umi-tama]

September 30th 2011

Music Star

I could finally unpause Noda-chan again! Yay! 🎉

His Majesty, the Tamagotchi King, still keeps on sending my little one food and once in a while a little gift. I wonder if he cooked all that stuff himself... and if he's a big fan of Noda or if this is a common service on the Tamagotchi Planet o.o

Aside from that, nothing interesting happened.

Since I paused him for a couple days, he didn't have any concerts today. He spent most of the time happily practicing, which forced me to regulary play a game with him or at least give him his beloved toy rocket, so his stress level stays as low as possible.

Here his stats after he went to sleep:

3 yr, 33 lb

hungry ❤❤❤❤

happy ❤❤❤❤

stress: 00

tone: 999

rhythm: 999

original: 999

genre: Jazz Music

star ranking: 4th

tama fans: 318,223,818

*

Wies'n Goscherl

Before I start my "Goscherl Log", here's a link to the English instruction manual, that came along with it (there were also manuals in German, Spanish and French, btw).

Apparantly my first assumption was right and it's really a little kitten ^^

I didn't pull the tab, but opened it up and removed the batteries (and cleaned up the (thankfully only small) corrosion they left), replacing them with new ones.

Success!

The Goscherl played a weird little melody, a black curtain appeared on the screen, opened, and I'm confronted with a tiny beating heart.

Setting the time.

And waiting...

Since I'm such a creative person, I decided for it to be a girl and named her Kitty XD'

Looks pretty Nano-ish, doesn't it? At least the little lamp and the tiles(?) on the floor remind me of the Nano Kitty screenshots I've seen on the web so far. I never had a real Nano pet myself, so I don't know, if it's a good or a bad rip-off. Maybe one of you guys can tell me?

Anyways, I just fed my littly Kitty some bowls of cat food...

... and a bottle of milk, which made her beam at me. And then she went back to do... well... typical cat stuff. Sneaking through the little appartement, she apparantly lives in, rolling around on the floor, staring at me for no obvious reason, expecting me to read her mind...

We also played a little. There are two games: guessing the direction into which she will point and rat chasing. Latter seems to only require the right button getting pushed a couple of times, and that's it, while the first one is pretty much the same as on the vintage tamas.

Oh, and it took me a while to figure out, that the milk isn't a snack but in fact some kind of important meal, too. Sometimes Kitty will beep at me, even though all hearts are filled, and not disciplining but feeding her some milk makes the attention icon go away. Duh. Good to know o_o

So far I think Kitty is kind of a cute little creature to take care of. I expected way worse *lol*

Now we just have to wait and see 1. if/when Kitty evolves and 2. how long it'll take me to grow bored of her again ;P

*

Tama-Go

Lookie lookie what arrived today :D

It took me a while to open it (because my screwdriver has the wrong size), so i could put some batteries in it, but after a while I did it ^___^ *hehe* I made a new faceplate, entered the date, time, my birthday and username... 

... and shortly after, I was already proud mommy of a little mushroom baby boy~ I'll call him Till from now on. I fed the little one, attached the included Mametchi figurine to play with him, to also fill his happy hearts and... Wow. I assume they made the game on that figurine as boring and nerv-wrecking as possible on purpose, huh? So that no one would even dare to consider not buying more figurines :/ I think I'll retreat to feed snacks instead of play a lot *lol* At least for now... The sound is pretty funny, btw. I mean, I already read in other logs, that the Tama-Go sounded somewhat muffled, but I didn't expect it to sound like this XD' Anyways, I also made Noda and Till meet each other! Yay! Noda took the little one out for some bowling (just to beat him there in every single round >_>') and later he showed him how to play the piano ^^ Till was quite exhausted after all of this and soon went to bed. A while later he woke up again, just to evolve (into Ahirukutchi) and go back to sleep *lol* Here are his stats (of which I'm not all too proud, but meh): 0 yr, 10 lb hungry ❤❤◌◌◌ happy ❤❤◌◌◌ train [           ] friendship ❤❤◌◌◌◌ gotchi points: 1630 So far so good. That's all for today. Let's end this post with a photo of all three of my tamas sleeping!

[emmet-appreciation]

E: “Wow. You cover a lllllot of fandoms. My head is spinning!”

E: “Some of your reblogged memes scare me. But that is ok! That is your blog. Not mine.”

// y'know what? I'm feeling nostalgic- let's bring back a pokeganda classic :>

Reblog this post with a 🚄 to get Emmet's opinion of your blog!

[insomniacimagines]

I'm still trying to look for your request guidlines, but if it doesn't line up you can just ignore this! How about Sugimoto and his s/o competing to get the last cookie only for it to be snagged last minute by Asirpa

My first Golden Kamuy ask is here! You’re officially the coolest anon out there

My request rules have their own tab btw

:>

Sugimoto and his s/o competing to get the last cookie only to get it snatched by Asirpa:

“I made these cookies so I get the last one obviously!”

Your voice radiated dominance against your opponent who was no other than your own boyfriend.

“Well, I’m your boyfriend so I should get the last one!”

“Aren’t you a gentleman?!” Sarcasm oozed out from your lips which triggered a growl from the seemingly immortal man.

Ogata was just enjoying a nice drink at the dinner table with a judgemental stare in his cat eyes. You both looked like idiots to him. The sight was enough to make him sigh with disappointment.

“You could just compete for it... See who’s most fit to have the last cookie...” He decided to play along... He couldn’t stand seeing you both make such a racket anymore.

There was a pause in between you and your lover before you both agreed on competing for the last chocolate chipped treat. 

The competition was based on who could do household chores the fastest. Through your trials of scrubbing, mopping, and sweeping you found you were way behind Sugimoto’s speed. No matter how fast you were he was faster.

It was no surprise that Sugimoto won. A time of mourning passed over you for your beloved cookie.

“Guess it’s mine~” His eyebrows wiggled, taunting at your loss.

“Shut up! You didn’t even clean that well!”

This got only a proud snicker out of your partner’s lips but it was cut short by noises of confusion.

“Where’d the cookie go?! Did you come in and eat it while I was cleaning?!” Sugimoto pointed at you accusingly and you returned the accusation with a retort of disbelief that he’d dare accuse you.

“I bet Ogata ate it!” 

You and Sugimoto approached the table threateningly...

“I didn’t want it... Stop being so immature.”

You both kept growling at each other till Asirpa came in with crumbs peppered all around her mouth.

“What’s all the fuss about?”

a deadpan slapped you in the face and seconds later it did the same to Sugimoto.

“We lost...”

“To a child...”

You died finishing each other’s sentences.

“This is fine,” Ogata sipped.

Ogata is a cryptid... You can’t change my mind

I got my 3 requests done for the day... I can now play minecraft

I hope you enjoyed it! Request again soon!

Love ya!

~Lunar

[dazaaaai]

(person from ur tumblr): CAN I JUST SAY THIS BLOG IS AWESOME :D I cant believe I found another person who likes bsd! btw Im Kunikida's wife, nice to meet you. Tell ur hus that Kunikida wants an explanation regarding the sudden disappearance of his nb XDD Aaanyways, to get to the point, I was hoping maaaybe for a prompt like: Kunikida sick w/ cold and a sweet Dazai takes care of him...?

HI THERE!! Sorry this is so late omg it’s been almost half a year but BLESS!!! It’s always good to have more people who like the Bungalow Wild Pups :D hello Mrs. Kunikida it’s a pleasure to meet you as well, I’ll be sure to tell Dazai to attend to the case of Kunikida’s missing notebook XD And yes !! You may of course, have your request! I think it’s not as fluffy and one-on-one as you wanted, but I had a lot of fun writing, so thank you for requesting and I do hope you enjoy it as much as I did typing it up!!

This Can’t End Well

⋆pairing: none that are mentioned!⋆ characters: Doppo Kunikida, Osamu Dazai, Akiko Yosano (main); Atsushi Nakajima, Junichirou Tanizaki, Kenji Miyazawa, Edogawa Ranpo, OC (secondary); Fukuzawa Yukichi, Kirako Haruno and the clerks (mentioned)⋆genre: mostly comedy, fluff near the end⋆ rating: K+⋆warnings: mentions of vomiting and other sickness symptoms⋆words: 2051→  summary: Kunikida’s definitely sick, and neither the Agency nor he himself are entirely certain what to do. Dazai, however, has a plan…

   This couldn’t end well.

    He didn’t want to admit it. It was shameful, and he had work to do! He couldn’t just slack off, couldn’t just stay at home… He had a schedule to keep to, an ideal — there was no way he could allow himself to be lazy, no way he could allow himself to act like…

    Dazai pinches his cheek, “Kunikida-kuuuun. You look awfully red.”

    Kunikida growls, “Well. Maybe if someone weren’t standing here trying to annoy me to death, my complexion would be a lot paler.”

    “I don’t think it’s just that,” Dazai hums, moving his hand from his cheek to his forehead, Kunikida doing everything in his power to keep typing and not snap Dazai’s wrist. “Kunikida-kun, I think you have a fever!”

    “Absolutely not,” Kunikida quickly swats his hand away before returning to his ever-important document. Click-clack, click-clack…

    “I think maybe Yosano-sensei should take a look at you.”

    “Absolutely not.”

   And then, to Kunikida’s horror, his body completely betrays him. His nose seizes, his lip quivers, his face scrunches up…

   He does an awful, awful thing.

   He sneezes.

   “Bless you, Kunikida-san!” Comes Atsushi’s voice from across the desk, from where the tiger boy is sitting, on the other chair.

   Kunikida swiftly wipes his nose with a hanky, returning to his typing.

   “You know,” Dazai says, leaning against his chair. “Our little photographer says that where she’s from, a single sneeze means bad luck, or very simply, ‘be patient.’ Maybe your work can wait?”

   “Nonsense! I do not procrastinate,” But his voice sounds stuffy — stuffier than usual, Kunikida’s sure Dazai would remark — and his eyes feel weary. His throat is scratchy, too…

   “Uh-oh,” Dazai coos. “I think somebody’s definitely sick.”

   “No.”

   “You really don’t look so well, Kunikida-kun.”

   “I’m fine, Dazai!”

   “You’re sick,” Dazai’s teasingly insistent, turning to his subordinate, “Atsushi-kun! Doesn’t Kunikida-kun seem sick to you?”

   Atsushi glances nervously between his two superiors — one wears an easy-going smile and the other’s glaring daggers at Atsushi, as if daring him to speak up.

   “W-well,” he begins. “Kunikida-san’s a logical man… Why would he come to work if he wasn’t feeling well?”

   “I don’t know,” Dazai hums. “Why don’t you ask him?”

   Atsushi takes one look at Kunikida, yelps, and buries his face back in his paperwork.

   “I am not sick, Dazai,” Kunikida says, with a sense of finality — he refuses to accept any prolonging of this discussion. He has work to do.

   But then…

   Coughs.

   It’s a small, tickle of sorts, within the back of his throat, at first. Then the tickle turns into scraping in his lungs, and soon enough Kunikida’s hacking up spit and bile into the palm of his hand, desperately trying to keep the contents of his stomach inside his body where they belong.

   “Kunikida-san?” It’s Junichirou this time, he’s walking by with a stack of folders and binders. The boy’s bright red eyes gaze at Kunikida with concern, “Are you alright? You don’t look too good.”

   “Tanizaki-san, I assure you, I’m in perfect health—” Kunikida says, but ends up being unable to continue as another coughing fit wracks his chest.

   Junichirou frowns, “You should go lie down in Yosano-sensei’s infirmary, if only for a bit. It’d help a lot — I can take over what you need to do for today from here, if you need me to.”

   Kunikida dismisses him with a wave of his shaky hand, “No, I insist. I have it under control.”

   He returns to his typing, only to realize upon hitting a certain point in his document, that he needs to refer and source something from a case they’d solved last year — the files to do with that are not on the hard drive belonging to the computer he’s currently working with. In fact, they haven’t been digitized yet, so they’re on a shelf against the walls of the office, a little ways away from where Kunikida’s working.

   All he has to do is get up and get the binder. Simple, right?

   Not right. He gets up and is immediately hit by a wave of dizziness so intense that both Atsushi and Junichirou shout at once, “Kunikida-san!”

   They rush to his side just as his head’s about to hit the ground and catch him, the two younger, weaker boys barely holding the man upwards, dragging him back to his seat, which he collapses in gratefully, and while breathing heavily.

   “You definitely need a break,” Junichirou puts a hand to Kunikida’s forehead, tutting when he feels the high temperature of his skin.

   “No no,” Kunikida insists, but when he sits up he again finds himself dizzy, collapsing back once more in his seat.

   “Everybody needs to rest sometime,” Atsushi says, voice soft.

   “I can rest at night, when I’m asleep…”

   “Kunikida-san,” Junichirou continues. “We’re going to take you to Yosano-sensei and see what she thinks, okay?”

   Kunikida’s face manages to pale, at least, in comparison to how red it is from his fever. “Oh no.”

   Dazai cackles maniacally, “How exciting! Gotta get treated by the scary scary doctor when you have the suds, Kunikida-kuuun…!”

   “Is he alright?” Kenji asks, poking his head out from behind Atsushi and Junichirou, who’ve been waiting outside of Yosano’s office for about half an hour.

   He was asking this question to Yosano, of course, who’d finally unlocked the door and stepped outside, seeming bemused in expression but smiling gently at Kenji, then laughing.

   “Oh he’s fine,” she replies at last. “He’s just sick.”

   “I knew it!” Dazai yells cheerily from across the floor.

   “So he really is sick?” Junichirou bites his lip, “Can you heal him?”

   Yosano shakes her head, “No. My ability only works on injuries, and is mostly intended for the life-threatening kind… It can do nothing for psychological damage, medical problems you were born with, nor, in this particular case… The common cold.”

   “He caught a cold?” Atsushi’s almost in awe. “That seems so strange. He’s always seemed so healthy and hard-working.”

   “Finally took its toll,” Yosano sighs. “It’s a sign that he needs to rest.”

   She then narrows her eyes, looking all around at the Agency members.

   “Whatever you do,” she begins, tone deadly serious and commanding. “Do not let that man leave his bed. I don’t care if he begs or pleads or cries, he will not work today.”

   “B-but,” Atsushi tries to argue. “Yosano-sensei! You know Kunikida-san is so very, u-um—!”

   “Doctor’s orders,” is Yosano’s firm reply, as she exits the Agency with her heels pattering against the marble. “Now, I’m off to get cough syrup for the patient. Do what you will to make him feel comfortable, if you feel like it — though I’m sure he’d rather you all be working in his absence.”

   The door shuts, and a silence falls upon the members of the Agency.

   “What…” Atsushi trails off. “Now?”

   “Isn’t it obvious, Atsushi-kun?” Dazai laughs, coming to put a hand on the boy’s shoulder, “We take care of Kunikida-kun until Yosano-sensei returns from the pharmacy.”

   “How do we take care of him though?” Junichirou looks at Dazai, curious. “We’re not doctors.”

   “Oh, pish-tosh! It’s just a cold, right? Everybody has home remedies for a cold! Why not throw some suggestions my way, and I’ll see what I can do for my beloved coworker!”

   “Dazai-san,” Atsushi’s surprised. “I didn’t know you cared about Kunikida-san so much.”

   Dazai puts a hand to his chest, as if he’s completely and totally offended. “Why! Atsushi-kun. I’m struck at the very idea that you thought I don’t care about him. Nothing could be further from the truth! He takes such good care of the Agency, why don’t we return the favor for a change?”

   There are slow, then enthusiastic nods amongst the younger Agency members, but Ranpo simply cackles from where he sits, sucking on a lollipop.

   “Oh yeah,” he shakes his head, eyes ever closed in amusement. “This can’t end well.”

   “Now now,” Dazai claps his hands together. “Ranpo-san, don’t be so pessimistic! So, which of you lovelies has an idea for what we could do?”

   “Well,” Kenji taps his chin. “Honey will do the trick, if he has a sore throat.”

   The brown-eyed girl sitting next to Kenji sticks out her tongue, “Honey. Yucky! I hate that stuff. I have a better idea,” she gets up off her seat, and skips off to the front door, “I’m going to go down to the café, ask Lucy if she has any maple syrup. Same effect, tastes much better!”

   Before anyone can stop her, the door is opened and shut once more.

   “Maybe something hot and warm to eat,” Atsushi turns around. “Like soup.”

   “Atsushi-kun, can you cook?”

   “M-more or less, but—”

   “Wonderful! Accompany the little princess down to the cafe and ask if you can use their kitchen and ingredients — be sure to tell them to put charges on your tab, alright?”

   “B-but!”

   “You’re the one who suggested it, not me. Now go, go go go!”

   Atsushi sighs, getting up and doing so.

   “What should we do?” Junichirou and Kenji ask in unison.

   “Hmmm,” Dazai tips his head, thinking. “You two should take care of Kunikida’s work while he’s away from his keyboard. I’m sure he’d appreciate that tons!”

   Junichirou furrows his eyebrows, “His work is really complicated, at least to me. I’m just an errand boy, Dazai-san…”

   Kenji nods in nervous agreement, “Yeah. And I still don’t know what a computer is, let alone how to use one!”

   Dazai laughs, like it’s not a problem at all. “You’re two capable boys! I’m sure you can figure out.”

   They exchange glances, then get up, bowing lightly, saying, “We’ll do our best!”

   Dazai waves them off happily, then turns to the infirmary’s door with what can only be described as a grin akin to that of the Cheshire Cat.

   So begins his fun…

   “Y-Yosano-sensei!” Kunikida splutters as the woman enters her office once more, having returned with the cough medicine she’d promised.

   “Hmm?” Yosano raises a perfectly-shaped eyebrow in confusion. “Kunikida-kun, you’re acting so scared as if I might treat you with my ability.”

   “This is worse,” he whispers. “So much worse.”

   “What happened?” Yosano rolls down one of her gloves to check her watch, “I couldn’t have been gone more than forty minutes.”

   “Dazai happened.”

   And Kunikida, with a dying voice, though Yosano insists for him to rest his throat, regales her on all the awful things that have occurred in those devastating forty minutes that Yosano was absent.

   First, Atsushi and his little friend come back up into the Agency, one with a pot of hot soup, and the other with a big urn (that’s the only word that comes to Kunikida’s mind, as it was just so large) of maple syrup, both insisting that he eat it all.

   He, er, had expelled most of it, to his utter humiliation and to Yosano’s complete unsurprise.

   And then, it got worse… Dazai came in and tried to cheer him up, as it were, by driving him “COMPLETELY UP THE WALL” and constantly poking and prodding him, pretending to give him a soothing massage when really he was nearly breaking Kunikida’s foot to go along with his disease.

   Then, to top it all off, Junichirou comes in, maybe five or ten minutes before Yosano’s return, only to tell him that he finished all of Kunikida’s work… When Kunikida asked Junichirou to show him, Kenji waddled in with the laptop, and after seeing the state it was in, Kunikida could do nothing but scream.

   Kunikida’s end up sent home for the week — and the detectives are given a thorough scolding from the President. Ranpo laughs about it nonstop, every day up until Kunikida returns…

   And once he does, nobody goes near him, not even Dazai.

   They know if they do…

   It won’t end well.

   But, when Kunikida arrives, all better now though even angrier than usual, to sit at his desk…

   He finds a little card perched on his laptop.

   He takes the small, thick paper, and unfolds it to reveal the words, surely in one of the members’ neat calligraphy…

We’re sorry!! Get well soon, Kunikida-san!

   And it’s signed by every one of the detectives and clerks, even Dazai and Ranpo.

   So maybe it did end well, after all.

[scenesplitterworld-blog]

It’s Not About the Shape – It’s About the Lie (An investigation into why flat earth hip-hop may seem merely stupid, but might actually be dangerous too: Electric Bugaloo)

Author’s Disclaimer: I’m sure that, like most people, most flat earthers are fine. Most people who rap about the shape of the place we all live on are probably fine. I acknowledge that the two dudes I profile in this investigation are probably the ISIS of your conspiracy movement. If you come across this article, and you’re a regular John or Jane Q. Flat Earther, please understand that your willfully ignorant belief has some truly disgusting expressions and intellectual underpinnings. So, with quite a bit of conscious irony, if you are a “moderate” flat earth truther, I exhort you to denounce your radically anti-Semitic fringe, particularly Eric Dubay. It may be a shitty presumption on my part, but I just assume that even you, hypothetical, humdrum Dale or Erma P. Flat Earther, are the kind of person to constantly post to FacePage that “moderate Muslims” must unceasingly denounce Al-Qaeda. And if, havin’ read through this, you’re the kind of person who’ll accuse me of being a “SJW” because I think promoting Holocaust denial is hugely problematic, eat shit; die mad with stank breath. But, if you’re a hardcore ODD TV or Dubay boy, please come at me, I’ll gladly take whatever you consider lumps. All that said, let’s listen to some real fringe fuckin’ hip-hop, shall we?

               I’ll bet most folks view people who believe the earth isn’t really round as nothing more than loons and larks. That’s how I started. Owing to a strange encounter I had with a feller at a show last winter, I had a picture of flat earth truthers as young, isolated, drunk, white dudes with dreadlocks wearing kneepads over their jeans saying gross things to pretty ginger gals. I was a little worried, but still mostly tickled, to discover that there’s a largish community of believers online. If you don’t get into the weeds of what belief in the flat earth entails, it’s easy to laugh it off as mere ignorant buffoonery, but, whoooooo boy, if you examine it closely, you’re in for one of the wildest, and surprisingly disturbing, rides of your life.

                 I stepped through the looking glass on accident, when I stumbled on this music video, “Cartoon Ball,” by ODD TV. At first, I clowned on it. Of course I did. Did you watch it? Christ. Dude’s shirt says “Never Sleep Again,” and he really looks like he ain’t slept because he’s in the early, still exciting days of a meth bender. I sent this video to friends and shared it on my timeline because I wanted to spread the chuckles. To be fair to ODD TV, I think he’s got legitimate talent. Not just on this track, but also throughout his catalogue, he’s got a catchy flow and his songs show a deft use of samples – for example, in the bluntly titled song, “Dear NASA, Why Are You Lying,” he takes the lyric “Space may be the final frontier, but it’s made in a Hollywood basement” from Red Hot Chili Pepper’s song “Californication,” and using that in a song about how the earth is actually not globe-shaped is, artistically, fairly dope. Not at all what the funky, cock-socked, SoCal, alt-rock, boys had in mind when they wrote the song, but that’s ODD TV’s genius. His video production, likewise, is slick. It’s much slicker than this other flat earther we’re gonna scrutinize in a sec, but one thing these guys share, which, I gotta say, is utterly derivative of almost every other conspiracy theorist with social media accounts, is referencing the Rowdy Roddy Piper flick, They Live. Guys. Give it a moratorium, right now, y’all have made it lazy.  

              Anyway, I got my giggles and moved on, right? Obviously not. After my mirth settled down, I found myself returning to “Cartoon Ball,” and for all my above praise, I wasn’t watching this weird shit again because I was real into the music. Nah, I think it was this lyric in particular: “God created the heavens and the earth / in a verse / but we’re livin’ in a Freemasonic Galaxy.” ODD TV doesn’t get into what he means by that, exactly, in this video – although, he gets into in in his oeuvre, bet your ass on that – because he’s focused mostly on rallying the viewer against NASA.

              But, on repeat viewing, you know, I caught this brief WTF nugget – a what the fugget, if you will: “We follow rapists and murderers / liars, thieves, and sun worshipers / sayin’ we can’t see curvature / ‘cause we’re all too small.” It’s the sun worshippers part that’s the sore thumb, right? Well, get ready for that sore thumb’s equally sore counterpart when ODD TV raps that believers in a spherical planet are “Stuck in the material domain of Satan.”

              Well, little ol’ me, Alice Donkey Boy Croix, was drawn further into the flat earth hip-hop scene by YouTube’s helpful recommendation. Oh, what a twisted Wonderland that turned out to be. But store those what the fuggets away for later use, Beloved Reader, they’ll crash back into pertinence again directly. Presently, we need to turn to how things got soooooo much more goddamned bonkers. The other cat I referenced briefly earlier, his name’s Eric Dubay, and he’s just about the whole rest of the haul of our investigation. So, settle in to peep this video, “Once You Go Flat.”

                Holy. Steaming. Shit. Y’all. Good. God. Damn.

              Right?

              Sorry to spring that diarrhea spray of hippo shit at you without much warning, but I wanted you to be as utterly gob-smacked as I was when Holocaust denial enters into things…and continues to spiral out from there. And just in case THAT was somehow an aberration from his mean, I watched this one. If you watched the first one, you already know to brace yourself, but, I cannot really stress enough that he, whew, he doubles down.

   So, let’s shelve the vegetarian polemic and uh…yeah…that was the most hardcore anti-Semitic thing I’ve ever experienced in musical form. Oh, you too? Neat. Look at us, Gentle Mentals, with all this shit in common!

              So, that video left my jaw on the fuckin’ floor, and that’s when I went over to www.ericdubay.com. I can neither confirm nor deny that visiting this page puts you on any sort of NSA list, but if the NSA is keeping tabs (hello, special agent, how are ya), it maybe should focus some attention on the shit our boy Dubay’s proudly posted here. Red flag it if you ain’t already, you may thank me later. Imagine that! The federales thanking little ol’ me!  

   BTW: we’re “in country” now, so maybe get your tin-foil helmet on.

              A few sick bars and a shocking affinity for the OG Nazis ain’t the only radical thing about our boy Dubay. He moves in circles so fringe that they consider Alex Jones to be part of the “controlled opposition.” Dubay’s even a truther against other flat earth truthers. He goes hard on The Flat Earth Society for being “controlled opposition,” by pointing out the idiocy of their theory for what is really going on with “gravity” on a flat earth, which is that the earth is like a pizza crust tossed continually upwards, so…things don’t really fall, they’re just kind of suspended until the ground catches up to them. Yeah. The idea of controlled opposition is that you get a shill to be a very vocal idiot in order to discredit the more “legitimate” conspiracy investigators who have come too close to the truth. But who controls the controlled opposition? Remember when I told you to remember ODD TV’s reference to the Freemasons? The Sun Worshipers? The Satanists? Dubay says it’s them. He says that both The Flat Earth Society and NASA are chock full of Masons, Masons who are behind these lies. He claims NASA agents – whatever those are – have murdered flat earth truthers to maintain their grip on this elaborate illusion. And, in a series of infographics, he ain’t shy in explicitly linking these nefarious Masons directly to, you saw it, the Jews. He’s one of these New World Order, Jew World Order types. I realized I tossed that off kinda casually – he’s just one of those types – but let me assure you, I don’t do it dismissively. Dubay compares the way this global Jewish cabal runs the world’s affairs to the orchestrated sturm und drang of televised professional wrestling.

              So you gotta wonder why lying about the shape of the earth is so important to our crypto-kosher overlords. I sure as fuck needed to know the answer to that myself, and, like any conspiracy theorists before him, this is where Dubay stumbles somewhat. He’s got 200 proofs for the truth of the flat earth, but he’s less articulate as towards the damnable “why” of it all. As I’ve been able to understand of his position, Eric Dubay believes we’re indoctrinated with the spinning globe model of cosmology, because if the global elite of Freemasonic Zionists can brainwash everybody on such a fundamental level as the ground beneath our feet, they can deceive and control us in any other sinister way they fuck well feel like.  

              Y’all, I’m a great many things. I’m not an astrophysicist, so, to be honest, I’m not really interested in engaging with the specifics of these dudes’ arguments regarding round versus flat, because – you know the Family Guy throwaway joke where Peter’s at the Cineplex helpfully pointing out when somebody in the movie says the movie’s title – to quote Mr. Dubay himself, “It’s not about the shape; it’s about the lie.”

              Before I get deeper into this shit – yeah, you thought you were down the rabbit-hole already – I want to point out that if you want to get all this from the horse’s mouth, the last twenty or so minutes of the two-hour FAQ video on his site is my source for all this. And since getting deeper into this gets pretty heavy, I think we need a bit of a levity break, so, I present a riff on a few screen grabs from that video.

               First of all, it’s hard to tell – among the things I am is poor of vision – it looks like the letter G has been replaced by the number 6 in the phrase “Sacred Geometry. The Great Architect of the Universe. Gravity.” 666 is metal, but in this case you’re using it in a way that’s way too mental to be heaviest, fam. The Jews are Satanists too, remember? Luciferian nonsense is a thing Alex Jones dabbles in also. Second, Pythagoras was the leader of a cult that worshiped numbers. Pythagoras literally had a motherfucker 86ed because he felt that the concept of pi was blasphemous and threatening to him personally as a cult leader. The reason I’m scratching my head is that you might know pi as a pretty foundational concept in calculating the circumference of the globe. Globe. So, if he’s part of a cabal bent on convincing you the world is round, why would he be so violently opposed to that squiggly little Stonehenge-lookin’, 3.14 on to infinitum meanin’, mathematical concept that would support the whole damn thing? Anyway, here’s another.

              I think this is supposed to be an Illuminati thing, but all it proves to me is that many people have fingers, and covering one eye is an easy way to look mysterious and sexy. It’s not like they’re all holding their hands the same way either. If a person were to try to argue that Eric Dubay himself is part of the controlled opposition, I think this could be evidence of “too dumb to be serious.”

              But I wanna get serious again. Back to the investigation. I wanted to know what made this dude tick. Call yourselves Ishmael, because ol’ Dubay became my white whale, only in this version, I think we spear the shit out of Moby Dick. Truly, I believe that in the final portions of that long ass video I’ve been talking about, we see into his core – and unlike the molten core of the round earth we sheeple foolishly believe in – the heart of Eric Dubay is a frozen, Jotunheim-esque, barren fearscape.

              Eric Dubay’s animating impulse is this: a deep, incomprehensible terror that humanity has no purpose in existence. He believes that subscription to the ideas of the Big Bang and subsequent evolution of life on earth via the mechanism of natural selection is subscription to a fundamentally nihilistic outlook; if humanity has no reason – as he sees reason – to be, the crisis in his soul would be too great to bear. And, sure, I get that. But he has not coped well with that adolescent existential angst. If the universe is a vast and vastly complicated place, it’s a scary place to be at the fringe of, so, to bridge the rift of this Lovecraftian horror inside himself, he’s put himself at the center of debunking a conspiracy to shroud our planet’s central location in the universe; our planet’s non-rotating position, which is to say a position of stability. Stability. Think about how comforting a concept that is. Purpose. Stability. Simplicity. These are not abnormal desires, but our boy Dubay’s gone about attaining ‘em in an abnormally toxic fashion. And he’s certainly doing his damnedest to create the fellowship he craves though all his media outreach. Can’t blame a feller for not wanting to feel alone…but when Holocaust denial is such a big part of your identity, it’s – to put it politely – extremely fuckin’ troublesome that you want others to believe as you do.

              Dear reader, Gentle Mental, “Hypocrite Lecteur,”* if you’re wondering why the fuck any of this matters, this here’s that part of the article; buckle the fuck up. I believe that never before in human history has the battle against propaganda been more vital to the survival of the species. I’m typing this on Sunday, October 15, 2017, and the last headline I read was about Kim Jong threatening to bomb Guam if Trump don’t shut the fuck up about him on Twitter. We’ve got fucking lunatics at the trigger; we’ve got so much evidence that the Kremlin orchestrated the most effective “hearts and minds” campaign of the internet age; we’ve got tactics of division being employed by the most cynical and unhinged people of influence. So why should this flat earth shit matter? We’ve got all that more important shit I listed, right? Because flat earth’s your gateway conspiracy. Pretty soon, you’re hip-deep in the most virulent Protocols of the Elders of Zion bullshit.** Some conspiracy theorists have the…decency’s not the right word, so let’s start over. Some conspiracy theorists are crypto-anti-Semitic. OBVIOUSLY not our boy Dubay. Lemme quote from his song “Blood Rituals,” “You are blind, so fuck what you say / I’ll expose the flat earth and hail Hitler all day.” That’s so obviously dangerous, and the ideas of flat earth and anti-Semitism are so clearly linked, that we shouldn’t need to dwell, so I’ll move us along with this tossed out aside: fuck you, Richard Spencer, for ruining Tiki Torches, but thank you for being conveniently illustrative of the point that being a ringleader for Nazi sympathizers does in fact correlate to assholes in the street beating people and murdering them indiscriminately with cars.

 *Editor’s Note: Goddamnit, DB! After I chewed your ass for quoting Yeats that last time, you have the nerve to bring this Baudelaire shit to the table? I want a picture of Spider Man on my desk TOMORROW!!

 **Author’s Note: For an wonderfully illuminating examination of the history and influence of Protocols of the Elders of Zion, I highly recommend the July 27, 2017 episode of a podcast called Knowledge Fight. (http://knowledgefight.libsyn.com/size/25/?search=Protocols+of+the+elders+of+zion) Hosts Jordan and Dan do a thorough job of linking this fraudulent document DIRECTLY to Alex Jones’ framing of his favorite nemesis, the Globalist bogeymen, and even David Icke’s Reptilians. Do yourself a favor and dive into this podcast whole hog.

                Provided that even one fewer gullible cocksucker buys into the dangerous worldviews of somebody like ODD TV, Alex Jones, or Eric Dubay, I will deem all efforts to expose their nonsense worthwhile, valid, and necessary. I don’t believe I’m virtue signaling when I speak out in order to shed light on hucksters’ efforts to spread dangerous racial, religious, or national divisions. It isn’t trivial to examine how those divisions may be spread insidiously as the necessary expression of these ideas; symptoms of the cancer, boils on the ass of the corpus scientia. Alex Jones is right about at least one thing: we are fighting an info war. He’s on the wrong side of it, to be sure, but it’s the same sort of info war Mike Pence fought in when he performed his indignant pageant at the ball game. And I don’t think that in speaking against any of this nonsense I’m beating a dead horse. And I believe that speech is action. If I reiterate a point, it is at least my humble intention to bring new nuance. I believe that the one person who was teetering on the fence but saw the truth of these bonkers narratives could be the one person who might have otherwise been the next to take a gun to something like a DC pizza joint to find out if interdimensional, shape shifting, child-molesting, psychic vampires run the government. Or do something so much more tragic in the name of bringing down whatever conspiracy it is they’ve been taken in by.

              This’s the rock I reckon I’ll die on, should anybody respectfully disagree. Thank you for your time, Gentle Mentals, friends, fiends, and foes alike. It’s time to pray.