#can someone think up a yuri version of this all my ideas are bad

[bueris]

everyone should be glad I'm not pursuing biology cuz I'd be naming things "the false yaoi" or some shit

[pastelaspirations]

As a last hurrah before the year is done, have my take on lesbian Errorink ✧˖°.

I saw an interesting question once. One that posed the controversial thought that "if your yaoi ship got turned into yuri, would you even still ship it anymore??" It was an interesting question, although perhaps a leading question, that gave the idea that many people may cease to ship a pairing if they turned from boys to girls.

I only had one thought to that question.

It's cute that you think that would have any chance of deterring me. No, w a t c h. My undying love for my otp is only strengthened.

Case in point; if yaoi errorink has consumed my entire mind and soul, then it would make perfect sense that yuri errorink would do so as well. Don't you see. It's literally the exact same ship, with all the same dynamics and interactions, but they're ✧˖°.girls now✧˖°.

SO. BIG SHOUTOUT TO JUNIEMUNIE FOR THEIR REFS WHICH STRONGLY INSPIRED MINE. I want to draw their versions one day. And I will, I will, just let me cook, man, I promise I will-

Of course, obligatory "p l e a s e open drawings in another tab to see them better 'cus they look like dog water on here."

WARNING; RAMBLING AHEAD THAT I WILL T R Y TO MAKE SHORT I thought it would be so funny, man, hilarious, if Error was like. This scrunkly girlboss badass who could, and would, absolutely destroy you. B u t she is sort of dressed like a high end hobo?? Like- SHE GOT THE BUNNY SLIPPERS ON AND LOOKS LIKE SHE LOW KEY JUST ROLLED OUT OF BED, but she gonna make damn sure her makeup is on f l e e k before she walks out that door ✧˖°.

BUT, THEN, COMPARE THAT. COMPARE THAT WITH. Just comedy gold, I tell you. This badass, skrunkly girlboss Destroyer of Worlds and her love interest, the only one who holds the key to her heart... is just Ink. A teeny lil cutie patootie who runs around completely barefoot in Care Bear lookin' overalls, with a paintbrush taller than she is and a giant burrito scarf. Just-

Yep. That's the Destroyer of Worlds's gf, right there. (I can see the crap posts now. Error being an absolutely horrifying entity to be reckoned with, but immediately switches to a sing-songy, happy voice as soon as Ink pops into the room.)

Fun fact; I'm sick as a dog as of this post. I finished these drawings not being able to breathe or swallow. :D Well, f i n e, I wasn't as bad when I finished Error's first, but then I got worse with Ink's. Like. I was staring at the screen, half-dead and unable to focus, when I was finishing her up, but she doesn't look half that bad, huh. Not too shabby for someone who can barely concentrate and had to proofread this post four times before giving up and hoping it is at least somewhat coherent in my fever induced fog state.

[cantareincminor]

Round 2: Fandom Wrapped (Writer Edition) 2024!

Thanks again to @kattyelf for the template. A blank one can be found at @twiyorbase for anyone who wants to do their own!

Detailed reflections under the cut.

This is a long, introspective post. Forgive me if I sound self-absorbed in all this reflection.

The past year has been a unique one. The last long fic I completed was more than ten years ago in the Aladdin fandom. I dabbled in shorter, more stream-of-consciousness fics after that, but hadn’t written or posted a fic since 2016. Then I got into Spy x Family in 2022, devoured tons of fics, and slowly, nervously considered writing again.

There were many reasons I stopped writing. Being busy with real life responsibilities, naturally. I got married and had kids. I had a highly stressful career. With so little time on my hands, I feared that if I tried to write after such a long hiatus, the result would be stilted and disappointing, and I would have “wasted” my precious free time feeling shittier about myself. I’ve had some version of this mindset my entire life: if I can’t do something well, then I shouldn’t bother.

I have @whateversawesome to thank for encouraging me to try my hand at writing again. After the mole hunt arc was published, an idea struck me quite suddenly—what if Yuri had died or been critically injured in Shellbury? How would Twilight deal with that guilt and how would the identity reveals unfurl in such an extreme scenario? Could Yor ever forgive him? 

For months I shied away from writing it. To do the idea justice, I knew it would have to be a long, complex fic. And I continued to have mixed feelings about my last long fic in the Aladdin fandom—regretting parts of the premise and the ship dynamics and the characterizations and just overall feeling ashamed about my writing. I didn’t want to fail—write myself into a corner and abandon the fic or something like that. Right now, on the other end, I still look back on Orpheus sometimes and wonder how the hell I managed to write it. I reread my favorite passages and wonder how I came up with those exact words.

If it may help any writers, I would be happy to share a copy of my brainstorming doc and outline of Orpheus, where I kept track of unresolved plot points, options to resolve those plot points, notes to self to go back and add foreshadowing, and calling out unexpected events in each chapter that I did not plan ahead for. It is a very long doc. But I wanted to remember everything I was thinking at the time as a gift to my future self, in case I ever attempt a big project like this again and feel paralyzed.

Orpheus allowed me to explore themes and beliefs I suppose have been marinating in my heart for years. For anyone who is still interested, below are some of my thoughts and personal experiences around the main themes.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness and redemption are always what I reach for in my serious fics. I think I fumbled it in my Aladdin fic (or didn’t really get to the redemption part), but I was able to explore it more thoroughly and with more integrity in Orpheus, with an additional decade of life experience. 

I think forgiveness is a difficult and fascinating theme to handle because it is so highly personal and often carries memories of deep hurt for ‘victims’ or shame for ‘perpetrators’. I was grateful when readers sometimes shared their personal beliefs and experiences with it in their comments. In order to treat this theme with respect, I wanted to convey that forgiveness should not come cheaply. That is not to say it’s bad to be merciful and quick to forgive—those are amazing virtues. But the act of forgiveness comes at a cost and can be incredibly painful. The cost does not simply vanish due to good feelings or an act of the will.

Someone can either withhold forgiveness and make the other person pay the cost—in Orpheus, this would have been Yor rejecting or taking revenge on Twilight and leaving him to feel horribly guilty about Yuri’s injury for the rest of his life. Or they can choose to forgive and pay the cost themselves. In my own experience it feels physically painful. It feels like extreme grief. This is what I wanted to portray, the devastation to the spirit, as well as the catharsis that can follow. Because after the cost is paid, what we gain is healing. The ability to move on and no longer feel like we’ve swallowed glass. And the mending of a relationship, if both sides are willing. In the case of Yor and Twilight, it makes their relationship even stronger, like a broken bone healing stronger than before. And it adds weight to the trials they would face together after that moment.

Forgiveness of self / Perfectionism

Of all the conflicts in the fic, “Twilight vs. himself” is the last one to be resolved. Even after the man has been forgiven by the people he loves, he still struggles not to hate himself. To find his life to hold any value outside of being a highly competent spy. I think many people go through some version of this struggle. I certainly did and still do sometimes, with regards to work and career.

I chose Orpheus as the title to illustrate the journey of someone who carries an enormous burden on their shoulders. Trying to save the person they love and having to follow a strict rule of never turning around or they will lose it all. All the while, the temptation to look back is incredibly powerful. Twilight bears the burden of WISE’s expectations as their top spy, the hero who has stopped nuclear missile launches, who will supposedly prevent the next war from breaking out. He also carries the expectations of his newfound family which call him to turn away from the ruthlessness of his mission. To look back at them, and not abandon them for the sake of world peace. And finally he carries the guilt of what happened to Yuri, and the pain of keeping all the secrets resulting from Shellbury.

In Orpheus, Twilight harbors both a very low sense of self-worth as well as a highly inflated sense of self-importance. He sees himself as a discardable tool who has done unforgivable things for his missions, with no right to love and be loved. But at the same time he sees himself as the lynchpin to maintaining the fragile geopolitical peace. Responsible for never screwing up, ever. Responsible for the fact Yuri was shot, even though he tried his best to spare him. He’s an unreliable, self-absorbed narrator, and the other characters around him also parrot his guilt back at him throughout most of the fic. Until the end, where I try to address the illusion of control and how a good portion of his guilt is unrealistic and undeserved. 

Unfortunately for many people who carry this kind of burden, no one tells us that it’s okay to turn around. That we are indeed not responsible for more than our own choices, and we certainly cannot be responsible for circumstances outside of our control. I’ve worked jobs where I’ve been asked to do the impossible. My first job out of college, the expectations were incredibly high. I got no training and was thrown into a project in a foreign language and an unfamiliar industry. I pulled so many late nights that in the second week I fainted on the way to the office. And I was told this was normal. That in order to succeed like everyone else, I would figure out a way to solve each problem thrown at me, no matter how impossible.

And what sucks is when you start succeeding. You pull off miracle after miracle and then people start expecting it of you like it’s normal. The reward for success isn’t a break. It’s more work. Harder work. And you buy into that unrealistic narrative that you should be able to do it or something must be wrong with you, you must be broken and can’t perform like you used to. And when you finally break, you get spit out and discarded like an outdated machine. They find the next, younger miracle worker to buy into the narrative.

Knowledge vs Wisdom

This is an easier one. Funny that Twilight’s agency is called WISE in canon. But what is wisdom? The ability to discern between right and wrong, to utilize knowledge effectively for the greater good, to know how to truly live life and live it well. 

Twilight strikes me as the kind of person who uses knowledge as a weapon, not too dissimilarly to Yuri who literally states “knowledge is power.” Twilight hoards knowledge like building an arsenal, so he can always be prepared for any problem. And this is how nations treat knowledge (intel) in the real world. Constantly trying to gain an information advantage on the enemy. 

But how does one know if one’s strategy to use all that knowledge is right? In Orpheus, the Ostanian state exhibits little wisdom in its pursuit of endless knowledge, experimenting on children and prisoners and animals to gain an edge over its rivals and amass more power for those at the top. At the same time the competition and backstabbing between the various arms of the state are almost childish in their motivations, the epitome of foolishness. Knowledge on its own does not build trust or confidence—but it can build hubris and confusion and distrust. 

One unexpectedly fun part of writing Orpheus was the dynamics between Garden and WISE. While there is distrust at the start, the leaders and members of both sides demonstrate wisdom in how they navigate the partnership and grant trust to each other bit by bit. And this feels very counterintuitive to spies who build careers off of lies and masks, as they find that truthfulness can unlock results so much faster than subterfuge. At least when it comes to dealing with Garden.

On a final note on this topic, I find it interesting that in canon Donovan Desmond claims it is impossible to know what other people are thinking and therefore human beings can never trust each other. And yet the highest form of knowledge (second only to knowing God), in my opinion, is to truly know another person to the depth of their soul. To know a person completely, and to trust and love them regardless. This is what all people yearn for, even people like Twilight who have made a fortress of masks around their true self. And this kind of knowledge is what requires deep wisdom to wield well.

Sigmund Authen’s gift of the Tree of Life plaque and the accompanying wisdom quote was an unexpected event I did not plan in my outline for Chapter 33. So was Barbara’s advice to Yor in Chapter 34, which I will end this long ramble with:

Before the two left, Barbara turned and patted Yor’s arm. “I know what it’s like to be married to a brilliant man, dear. Don’t feel discouraged. They don’t need their brilliance and worldly achievements so much as they need our love. I know it can be exhausting sometimes, but I’ve stuck by my Siggy this long through thick and thin. What he didn’t mention amidst all that blather about wisdom is that even wisdom isn’t the final goal of all of mankind’s striving. Love is. What is a life full of wisdom and philosophy if it doesn’t help you find love and keep it? In my simple little mind, that’s what wisdom is for. Goodnight, dear. Thank you for having us over.”

And that's a wrap for my 2024!

[yuri-is-online]

Same anon bc I'm having a lot of thoughts and didn't want to mix up the contents but another random thought I had was when I saw the cat versions of the characters - somehow it stood out to me that Zenji and Jiro have pretty much the exact same shade of hair AND eyes. They both generally look so different from each other I never thought about it before but seeing the simplified forms of the cats made it stand out. Also the fact there's rumors that Jiro is some kind of Frankenstein born in Mortenkranken (and hence why he doesn't know about normal work hours lol he only knows Yuri's work ethic) and why he randomly gets sick all the time. Crack theory that Zenji might've been in Mortenkranken and was involved in "creating" Jiro somehow, bc maybe he's actually skilled in science and not the arts bc I remember reading somewhere Haku saying why Zenji can't focus on things he's *actually* talented at, and apparently no one really likes his poetry lol. Ironically enough Zenji has paler skin than Jiro though lol.

Anyways it's really a random theory and we'll learn more about Zenji in Hotarubi (probably) but I like thinking of stuff like this, sorry to keep bombarding you with all these random tdb thoughts 😭😭

If my askbox is open you can bombard me with thoughts. I'm just bad about answering them I am so sorry-

Zenji being involved in Jiro's creation isn't something I would have come up with but is a neat idea! As is him being a naturally talented scientist who would rather write shitty poems (it's ok pookie MC likes your poems). I was wondering if Jiro was a monster born in Mortenkranken? It would make sense but he also gives me the vibes of someone who might have been terminally ill as a child and wished to be healthy. He says his condition and MC's are similar so maybe his disease is related to a curse and he's only barely holding onto life with Yuri's help.

The similarity of their appearances is an interesting point! I really hope we learn what's up with Zenji in the next chapter, I think he's super neat.

[some-pers0n]

I tried to think of something that was both unpopular and disturbing, but couldn't really think of anything that fit the bill (also I am pretty bad at gauging the popularity of ideas), so have two things.

1. Something unpopular: I am not a fan of Blacier. I understand why people ship the two, but it's just not something that personally appeals to me. It's probably related to my dislike of canon Glacier (specifically how she's portrayed in TDG). I don't like generic "good rulers" in fiction and find nuanced rulers who struggle to balance priorities and avoid getting deposed far more compelling. My personal Glacier headcanon is that she's like Bismarck if you know who that is--incredibly good at diplomacy, scarily pragmatic. This version of Glacier sees Blaze as a tool and puppet, nothing more.

2. Something disturbing: If Pyrite dies and her necklace was put on someone else, would Pyrite remember her death? Is Pyrite really alive? Does she have a soul? If you kill Pyrite, would it really be murder if you can just slap the necklace on someone and bring her back? Is it murder if you slap the necklace on someone, overriding their personality with Pyrite's?

Heya Thunder! :D

1. Okay but have you considered them kissing sloppy style after a victory? No? Okay...

In all seriousness, yeah kinda agree. As much as I love dragon yuri, I do like Glacier as being a little more interesting than a generic leader who only wanted the best for everyone. Her seeing Blaze as a puppet and a means to access valuable land was always what I thought of their relationship as.

2. Thunder, mate, you can't just drop that on me and not expect me to immediately start drafting up a oneshot where Pyrite remembers dying and begins panicking.

[kitkatt0430]

2, 7, and 16?

2.) Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

Aside from my usual Cisco/Caitlin (the Flash) and Colette/Lloyd (Tales of Symphonia) mentions... Estelle/Yuri from Tales of Vesperia. I could see them as QPPs, but their relationship just reads so perfect as friends that I just don't vibe with romantic interpretations of their ship. Also don't really get Yuri/Judith either. They flirt a bit at first, but it's very joking and - again - I see them clicking so hard as friends that I just don't see the shipping chemistry.

7.) Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

The Steve/Tony ship from the MCU fandom. Civil War kinda ruined that for me, though the seeds were probably planted in Ultron with Steve's hypocritical behavior about secret keeping. (Civil War also really soured my opinion on MCU Steve in general. And made it very clear that the MCU had been put in the hands of producers who neither liked nor understood any of the characters at all, which was unfortunate.)

It takes a lot to sour a ship this badly for me, though the poor treatment of all the characters in the lead up to the Thanos arc made me check out of the MCU entirely for a while. (I think what they did with Wanda was the worst by making her start off as Hydra, considering her history in the comics. I know she's a bit of a polarizing character in the comics too, but making her Hydra - a Marvel Comics Nazi - was a bridge too far.)

16.) If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

Eric Wallace being a show runner on the Flash. Everything bad about seasons 6 through 9 can be laid at his doorstep, especially given his penchant for promising things that weren't delivered on.

Cisco having an important arc in S7 before leaving was... him deciding to leave in the background and having a last minute farewell episode that, while funny, felt ultimately kind of insulting to the character's importance. Iris' big S6 arc was... her being isolated from everyone else most of the story arc while a fake version took her place. And she was overshadowed by the Speed Force dying arc too, which was kinda infuriating.

Frost was promised an important arc and they gave her a criminal love interest. Giving Frost a boyfriend was not an important story arc and was clearly just another round of the amatonormative idea that romance is the only thing that humanizes a character. And, insult to injury, her new love interest wasn't even an interesting character. The comics version of Chillblaine was a Captain Cold knock off, at least one version of which was one of Lisa Snart's love interests which is an interesting choice for a character meant to be a lite version of Lisa's brother. And, worse, Frost's sacrifice to save Caitlin winds up furthering his story arc when Caitlin is inconveniently disappeared for most of S9.

Chester and Allegra were also promised interesting story arcs, but if they got any it was impossible to notice over the very loud pair the spares crap going on with them. More amatonormativity. -_-

Khione was promised to be an important character in S9, but there was nothing going on with her that couldn't have been done better and more meaningfully with Caitlin getting her own Frost powers and learning to accept her sister's death.

And all of this - and more! - can be blamed on Eric Wallace.

Admittedly, the show has always had a problem with amatonormativity and poor management of plot lines where Barry wasn't the lead. But it was massively exacerbated under Eric Wallace's direction and, at times, made the show nigh unwatchable because of the poor management of the plot. (Looking right at you, Armageddon, and your three different and contradictory evil plans that Eobard was somehow enacting simultaneously.)

Apparently I am particularly salty about this topic.

[1ore]

what do yuri, trahearne, and lastborn wish someone would say to them? and from who? the mega version would be all the permutations of yuri, trahearne, and lastborn re: themselves. you can ofc include ximone and hæma if it’s relevant or fun. or npcs ofc okay BYEEE (dodge rolls away)

truly off the shitts today i see. (rolls up my sleeves)

Yuri:

I would say that Yuri wants to be told he’s not a complete fuck-up, but every time he’s been told that, he’s been even less at peace with himself. So. (see: Trahearne’s dialogue regarding Apatia.)

What he REALLY needs to hear is that it does not matter if he’s a fuck-up. I think the Lastborn (our other resident fuck-up) is the first to tell him that, or maybe to cement what Ximone has been trying to tell him all along. Either way, eventually he must become secure with the fact that he has done both tremendous wrong and tremendous good by the people he loves, and that—despite everything—it’ll work out the way it’s meant to. Will he ever make peace with this? Probably not. He has a thick skull and a soft heart and needs to be taught this lesson over and over and over again.

OTHERWISE… take your pick:

From Trahearne: Literally anything that isn’t “kill me” during Trahearne’s No Good Very Bad Elder Dragon Depression  ⠀

From Ximone: Are We Good. You’ll Tell Me If We’re Not Good. We’re Good Right. You Won’t Hide Your Pain Like A Scared Animal Will You. Yuri doesn’t like being shut out of people’s stupid acts of self-sacrifice, especially when he could be the one doing a stupid act of self-sacrifice. <- man who is about to eat his words.   ⠀

From the Lastborn: An answer to the question “What are we……………” at least during their time on the lam, when things are tense and complicated between Yuri and Trahearne. But really, Yuri just doesn’t believe the Lastborn when he says exactly what he means. Mostly he’s afraid that the Lastborn is hiding how he really feels in order to protect Yuri, because it does not compute for him that a guy can be so secure in himself that he doesn’t feel bruised when Yuri takes shelter in him like some kind of older gay mentor-crush. (Nevermind that he’s younger than Yuri, and nevermind that this ends up growing beyond a relationship of convenience.)   ⠀

From Captain Marshal Logan Thackeray himself: something completely deranged and fucked up so that Yuri can finally put an end to this stupid, messy crush that refuses to die. (Ximone knows that no matter what comes out of that man’s mouth, this will not happen.)

⠀

The Lastborn:

Oy vey. Going along with the last ask, he does not want to be left behind, and both craves and loathes the idea of unconditional love. I think in general he wants people to be rigorously honest with him and with themselves about the nature of their relationship, because the Lastborn is a career straddler-of-boundaries, and he never knows where he fits in other peoples’ lives. (And I say “boundaries” as in boundaries of identity, more than relationship boundaries.) He is constantly bracing himself for the day when everyone wakes up and realizes he’s no good, or something.

Otherwise:

From Trahearne: we’ve been through this already LOL. But apart from mom-in-law drama, I think the Lastborn really wants to hear Trahearne own the ways in which he has hurt the estranged members of his family, or at least acknowledge their pain as legitimate. Part of this is for the Lastborn’s sake, but part of it is also out of genuine concern for Trahearne’s well-being, what with the whole harboring an Elder Dragon thing. My man you are one of us cockroach motherfuckers now, whether you like it or not. ⠀

From Yuri: Acknowledgements of humanity. Again, something Yuri is typically good at because of his bleeding heart. But when Yuri DOES have genuine beef with a group or with a person, the impulse to write them off as cardboard cutout villains hurts even more. The Lastborn wants him to understand that when he says these things, he isn’t hearing “those bad people over there” but “those bad people and also me, the guy he just inexplicably hasn’t realized is a Bad Person yet.” ⠀

From Ximone: That he’s smart/insightful/thoughtful. He thinks of himself as shallow for this, but it’s both a thrill and a source of imposter syndrome when Ximone—someone whose insight and perspective he really values—sees him that way. ⠀

From Haema: How she Really feels about him leaving the Nightmare Court, fucking off to the Silverwastes, making peace with Trahearne (and, to some extent, the Pale Tree) etc. He would Rather Die than use his words to ask this. At least until he finally gets fed up with himself and just blurts out the unspoken thing, in true Lastborn fashion. ⠀

⠀

Trahearne:

That he’s not a monster. but also don’t say that because this means you’ve fallen for mordremoth’s TRICKS!!!!!!!! and also he doesn’t deserve it. it’s messy in here.

Anyway:

From the Lastborn: There’s a conversation that they’re (read: Trahearne is) avoiding having about damage mitigation. I think it’s alien and uncomfortable to Trahearne that the Lastborn can revel in being a social pariah with ~dangerous powers. The Lastborn walks this fine line of rigorous introspection and self-regulation, which he sees as necessary to protect the people around him, while also whole-heartedly living in a world that’s committed to hurting him and testing his limits. (Or at least, he becomes this way after meeting Yuri and Trahearne.) ⠀ I think Trahearne wants practical guidance in this area, and feels like it’s his responsibility to learn how to control this uncontrollable Dragon magic, but admitting that he wants this is as good as admitting that he deserves to live. And also potentially endangers the Lastborn. So he broods about it. ⠀⠀

From Yuri: Oh boy. So many things. Every day is like a game of 6D chess. “Is it ethical for me to do smalltalk with Commander Yuri Six-Cants, knowing that I harbor an Elder Dragon? The greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate.” ⠀ While he’s in the pits, I think Trahearne really, truly believes that getting Yuri (and the Lastborn) to accept that he’s a lost cause would bring him peace. But he is also Very aware that part of him still wants to be a part of their lives, what with how often he slips up and falls into old habits. This pulling in and pushing away is frustrating for everyone involved, not the least of which includes him, and it makes his desire for normalcy / a return to what they used to be (but can never, ever be again) all the more painful. ⠀ So like… Wouldn’t you like to know, Commanderboy. ⠀

From Ximone: LOL initially he just wants her to talk some damn sense into Yuri and the Lastborn. But failing that, I think he wants to understand why she fell in with Yuri when he had his little episode. It’s easy for him to write off Yuri’s actions as a lapse in judgement driven by sentimentality (and, like, he’s not wrong.) Substitute sentimentality for nihilism, and he can do the same for the Lastborn. But Ximone is a seasoned veteran at navigating impossible dilemmas, and so she’s harder to write off. I think it takes her two cents to get the shit that Yuri and the Lastborn have been saying to finally start percolating through Trahearne’s thick skull.

[tyzias-ennnntykk]

My thoughts are: Jade is the loneliest girl and occasionally lets that loneliness lead her to some bad decisions!!!! And thats ALWAYS been true!!!!

Look, Jade grew up on an island *with no other humans* for most of her life!!!! She had Becquel yes, but he's hardly a reasonable companion, and her grandpa who died when she was a *baby* /BY HER OWN HAND AS SHE LATER FINDS OUT/, and then just his stuffed corpse!!! (Side note: I theorize that's possibly part of her Witch of Space classpect; she is cursed by always having everyone at a distance, but that's a whole other post)

She also, if we recall, knew *almost everything about the game*, which meant she was aware that she'd get a chance to meet other people eventually, and not just any people, but specifically her online friends. She almost certainly spent inordinate amounts of time daydreaming about these moments, and what her future past the scratch might look like.

Also also! She's VERY impulsive. We see it described as her being "silly" early on, but thats really how youd describe it for children, which she was early on. Ultimately though, what they mean is that she's kinda impulsive, flies by the seat of her pants, etc...she may *fantasize* about her future, but she doesnt exactly *plan* for it. Heck, why would she, when she knows most of the steps she has to take up to a certain point?

And this is all pre-fusion with Becsprite! Bec is *a fucking dog*, and while she may not bark *constantly* we know his behavior has had an effect on her. Bec adds a whole animal/god level to her impulses, WHILE ALSO separating her further from her humanity! The other kids may all be god-tier, yes, but she's the only one who fused with an actual god, and the whole riddle-ness of sprites. Plus an entire other version of herself! Which is like seven levels of fucked up!

So this brings us to the ship, where we see her date Davesprite, which is *a terrible idea*! But its also an understandable one. I'm pretty sure at some point she hints she has a crush on Dave, and he eventually becomes the one kid who she can date without weird biological grossness, so she probably just went! Sure! I dont have a lot of options and I'm lonely so lets just go with that! Again though, this is a bad idea, and it falls apart. Still, I think this shows how impulsive and led by her loneliness she is.

Finally, we get to see her (technically a different version of her) in the Epilogues where she is uncomfortably flirtatious! But think about it: Her loneliness hasnt gone away much (everyone else has their partners or activities on Earth C), and she feels *even more separated* from most people because she is *literally a celebrity/god to them!!!!* So she's here trying desperately to find *SOMEONE* to attach herself to, to finally fill the gap in her heart, and again, she's *impulsive*! So what do you get from an impulsive lonely person/dog/god? You get someone uncomfortably flirtatious! In fact, you may even get someone who, despite knowing it hurts people, cant keep themselves from inserting themselves into other peoples relationships for just a *taste* of intimacy.

Her inserting herself into Davekat's whole thing was that, but I think even she realized that was bad, and hence...She figured she'd get a family member a different way. One that *couldnt* leave her alone! And so she narrowed down her already-narrow options and. Yiffy happened!

I think this update kinda confirmed all this, not just in-text, but also with her smothering Yiffy with love!!! Finally she has a family member, a connection, and FINALLY she can openly connect to them! So she smothers them with love WHETHER THEY WANT IT OR NOT!!! (Noticing a theme here???)

Also for what its worth I think this is also entirely in-character for Rose, which I think was always the more controversial one here, since people want to paint Rosemary as a wholesome yuri ship. Despite the fact that Rose absolutely has a problem with mediation, and follows her curiosity to great disaster, and loves a bit of drama, and like she says, *knows* kanaya would forgive her! Rose probably barely put up an argument over it.

I'll say it here: I actually *adore* Yiffy, and think she's the perfect punctuation mark to the Homestuck Pantheon's enormous personal problems. I think a lot of folks dont agree with the characterizations in the Post-Canon, because they think these characters finished their plot, and therefore would be well-adjusted adults! But they never really solved all their problems, and buddy. They spent most of their teenage years *trying to survive an apocalypse* befofe being thrust into positions of unimaginable power. Once you consider that, almost all the decisions in post-canon start to make sense: these are the result of gods who are basically arrested-development teenagers who fumbled their way through an apocalypse! They're flawed and messy!!! And frankly thats why i love em!!!

was on twitter (oops) and theres a ton of people going apeshit over kanaya in the upd8 (hs:bc upd8) right obviously and i saw one (1) post about "still hating hs2. jade would not fucking do this" and like. huff.

fosmf if youre there and youve read the hsbc update tell me your thoughts on this. im so curious

in MY opinion, i really like jade in postcanon in general. OBVIOUSLY, the stuff with davekat SUCKS + IS WEIRD + outb of character (i doubt jade would cross boundaries in such a weird way? like a girl can take a hint esp for the people she loves.) but in the update it goes over jade and why she did what she did and like a cute little summary of the yiffy situation. i never really hated yiffy? and i hate yiffy even less with the update. narration + backstory with reasoning did its job.

SUMMARY, AS I SEE IT: jade was dating around mortals but came to the conclusion that they dont want HER, they want to say they dated the GOD OF SPACE. they wanted clout and she hated it. and i dont know. i think she went a little crazy cus of it. she was like I am truly alone in this world. Im cursed to be alone. Im doomed because of my aspect. How can i fix this. solution: HAVE A BABY. and it needs to be one of her god friends. she cant have a baby with a random mortal. john and dave are boys; they cant bear children. she cant have a baby with roxy or jane because she doesnt know them well. that leaves: rose lalonde so jade has a baby with rose lalonde and keeps it a secret. she talks to jane, and this is fine because its largely professional, and she makes sure yiffany (the baby) doesnt become a celebrity. yiffy is normal. yiffy is a normal kid and she has a normal life. jade needs her to have a normal life. jade needs to feel that connection with normality that she never had, jade needs to make sure yiffy doesnt go through the same damn thing she did. and she keeps it a secret. she bonded with rose. if kanaya finds out, thatll tear all three of them apart. jade craves the company. jade craves friendship and closeness. but of course, shes a space player and shes doomed. so they find out. and yiffy gets on the news. and everything is torn

ANYWAY: i think thats so cool. i think thats a great explanation. i think jade WOULD do that is the thing. its a logical train of thought and she makes some stupid mistakes and bad decisions but overall its rational. if i was in her situation i would probably do the same thing. yiffany longstocking is like jade harleys' my love mine all mine by mitski you get me. jade harley yearns for the closeness and having a baby can fill that. what other option did she have? she was crazy

interested to hear other peoples thoughts on this. i may just be biased because i love jade harley

[sweetchup]

Bi•valve

Noun

an aquatic mollusk that has a compressed body enclosed within a hinged shell, such as oysters, clams, mussels, and scallops.

AKA

The Most Common Seashell in the Ocean

————————

Vol. 1: Just Keep Swimming // Ch. 2

Type: Poseidon x reader

Word Count: 4,000+

Masterlist

————————

Sounds of horns and shouting filled the air outside as you stood on the packed bus. Cramped in from every side, it was hard for you to tell where you were going. Not as if you were paying much attention anyways.

“Okay, you left fish and pasta in the fridge… he could use the tv or read a book for entertainment while you are gone…what about…” You ramble incoherently to yourself.

Even though the storm hit Athens hard yesterday, your studio art professor was still having classes today. Forcing you to leave Triton alone at home. You shouldn’t be nervous. There was no reason to. After all, Triton is a god, he was hundreds of years old.

But…, he was still a child. No matter how old or what type of being he is. He could still possibly injure himself or get into trouble. And that single fact alone made you feel sick to your stomach.

“Is this how parents feel leaving their child alone for the first time…?” You groan to yourself, leaning your head forward so it hits the window in front of you.

“Now Approaching *Athens International School of Art*. I repeat, Now—“ The robotic voice announces over the intercom. At the familiar name of your college, you squeeze your way through the other patrons on the bus to make your way to the doors.

Sweet, sweet air, you think to yourself as soon as you exit the bus. It was starting to get way too cramped in there. So much so, you wondered if it was a safety hazard. Though it wasn’t as if you were one to talk, you left a little boy alone—

“Argh!” You scream out, slapping the cheeks of your face. You needed to stop thinking of Triton. He was going to be completely fine. But, what if…

“I’m getting too attached already…” You groan to yourself. It had only been a day. One singular Day. But you were already smitten by the blonde haired child. “It doesn’t help that he's absolutely adorable as well…”

“Who’s adorable?” A voice calls out from behind you, making you jump in surprise. Whipping around, you let out a sigh once you identify who it was.

“Bryce… how many times have I told you not to sneak up on me like that…”

Bryce Kroger. He was studying abroad at Athens International School of Art for a year just like you except he was instead an architecture major. You met him by coincidence while taking art history so you didn’t know much about the guy, the only thing being the few stories he told you about his home country of Australia.

“Oi! It’s not my fault you're so skittish!” Bryce banters back with a huff.

“Whatever…”

“Eh? Wait, where you heading?” Bryce questions as he watches you walk away, “I thought you had Studio Art on Fridays?”

“I do. I’m heading to the library first though.” You yell back to the tall male who stayed put where he was standing. Not even bothering to follow you.

“You need to stop studying so much!”

“Shut up!”

“IT’S THE TRUTH!”

“SHUT UP!” You scream back with one final huff before storming off. So what if you studied so much. You just wanted to get good grades in the classes that counted. It’s how you got here in the first place. By working your ass off.

Unconsciously, you feel your hand twitch as you open the library door. So what if you spent hours studying. So what if you didn’t go out with friends that often. So what if you didn’t have a social life. So what—

You feel yourself pause, your expression turning sour. Lonely. That’s what you were. You were lonely. A miserable lonely girl.

“Miss!”

Startled out of your thoughts by the sudden call, you realize you were no longer standing at the front door but instead standing in front of one of the librarians. You must have unconsciously walked up to the front desk while you were lost in thought.

“A-Ah. Sorry, I was just looking for books on Leonar—“

You feel your voice trail off at the end as a book on the counter catches your eye. It wasn’t the gold detailing nor the leather texture. No. It was the simple words of “Greek Mythology: Tales of Zeus” printed neatly on the front.

“…Actually, Do you perhaps have any books about Poseidon?”

You just found something better to do with your time.

—.—.—.—.—

“Damn… this is extremely confusing…” You mumble to yourself as you glare at the pages of notes in front of you. Each book seemed to be a little bit different from the last. “Perhaps I should recap…”

Okay, so what makes sense to you is that Poseidon is the second eldest of three brothers and is the ruler of the seas. The things that don’t make sense are… practically everything else…

You weren’t sure if you wanted to cry or scream out of frustration right now.

According to the books, Poseidon has had many consorts over the years. One of them being Triton’s mother, Amphitrite…

“My mother… can be quite mean to other women. Even to some of the female servants around the palace. She believes that they are trying to seduce my father…”

…but that doesn’t match up with what Triton mentioned last night. According to him, it sounds like Amphitrite scared away any women that would even come near Poseidon. This also leads to another flaw in the mythology books. You doubted that Poseidon would be able to have an affair with any other women with Amphitrite antics, nevertheless have 10 other children with them.

“Triton also never mentioned having any other siblings…”

Letting out a groan, which you seemed to be doing a lot today, you banged your head against the table. It seems like these mythology books weren’t going to be of any help after all. Though…. you couldn’t help but wonder why the books were so off in the first place.

Lifting yourself back up from the table, you glare down at one of the book covers. It was blue, almost silvery in a way, with a giant black silhouette of Poseidon right smack dab in the middle. Or, at least, what Poseidon might look like…

“Well, my father is extremely strong and handsome. All the sea nymphs stare at him with big heart eyes half the time. Oh! B-but, father doesn’t pay any attention to them. Father is not a cheater like uncle Zeus…”

“…Is Father…? Oh. He’s alright… He’s nowhere as bad as my mother. He’s never hit me or anything. He’s just… cold. Extremely cold. He really just ignores me half the time…”

“…I do love my father…I just wished he would at least spare me a glance…you know?…Acknowledge his own son…”

“God damn jerk!” You hiss out in anger as you push the book aside. Your blood practically boiling at even the slightest thought of Triton’s father, Poseidon. He doesn’t deserve to have such a good and nice son like Triton.

However, as much as you want to curse out Poseidon more, you realized class would be starting soon and you really had to get a move on.

“Shit. I can’t afford to be late again.”

—.—.—

“Ugh. Why did the professor have to assign me this type of painter…?!” You whined to Yuri. Class had already ended by then with the professor long gone. The only people left were students that were conversing with others or trying to get a head start on their paintings.

“Well, it didn’t help that you barged into class late for the second time this week, (y/n).” Yuri explained with a sigh as she continued to set up her palette, not even sparing you a glance.

Yuri Saito, Or rather Saito Yuri, was an abroad student from Japan. She was the closest person you knew at the college as you both were similar in many ways. Especially since you were both homebodies.

“I get that but at least I showed up in the fir—“

“(Y/n)!” A voice shouts out interrupting your talk with Yuri. You turn around to see Bella Woods, a student apart of your major, approaching you. “(Y/n). You were part of your student council back in high school right?”

“Uh, Yeah. Why?” You answered hesitantly. You weren’t sure why, perhaps instincts, but you were already having a bad feeling about this situation.

“Well I need your help on something…” Bella explains, her voice trailing off at the end as she grabs something from her bag. It’s a piece of paper, a flier to be exact.

“A…A Cultural Festival?”

Bella nods her head at your words, “Yeah. The college wanted to put something on for the public to show what our art school is all about and Mrs. Yamamoto suggested this. A-Apparently, it’s something schools and colleges do back in Japan.”

“B-But how can I help? Wouldn’t it make sense for someone like Yuri to do this? Since she’s from Japan and all.”

It was the truth. You didn’t know a single thing about japanese culture festivals.

“Hey don’t drag me into this, I’m busy.” Yuri counterbacks with a glare before returning back to her painting.

“Well… you see… The school wanted to change Mrs. Yamamoto’s idea a bit since they really didn’t know anything about Japanese Cultural festivals either. So it’s like a Cultural festival, kind of not.” Bella rambled. You could tell all this information was scrambling her brain as well. “Basically, it’s like a Greek version of a Cultural festival where each major picks a Greek god and plans an event or booth around it.”

“…Okay… So it’s just like a school festival in a way?” You questioned cautiously. This was a lot for you to take in at once.

“Yes. Precisely. We are just taking inspiration from Cultural festivals.”

“Okay. Okay…” You answer as you rub the back of your neck, “I still don’t understand why you need me though?”

“Well, I kind of… kind of saw you reading the mythology books in the library today and we need more people on the planning committee…” Oh, god. It seems like everything is coming back to bite you in the ass, “…Just. Please (y/n), We need your help!”

You let out a small sigh as you watch Bella give you a pleading look, “Fine…”

“Yay—!“

“But…“ You start cutting off Bella’s cheers, “But I’m taking care of something really important right now at home so I can’t always make meetings and things like that. I can help with planning but that’s it. Okay?”

That was correct. As much as you wanted to help Bella and your department out with this festival, Triton was your top priority right now. His care and needs were above all else right now, even your own. So if this would get in the way of that then you would drop this project instantly. Instantly.

“Of course! Oh, thank you (y/n)!” Bella cheers, her body visibly relaxing now that a stress has been taken off your shoulder, “Well, I’m not sure if you're busy right now but… the committee is currently planning two classrooms down… so if you could…”

“I’ll go…” You sighed out. Damn, what’s with you lately. Less than two days ago, people hardly approached you. Now you are as busy as a bee. A person magnetic… Well, more like god magnetic as wel—

Wait, a minute. You feel yourself tense up as a thought flies into your brain. If Gods could travel and spend time on earth, could they live here as well? Just like how Triton wants to?

Shit. What if some that live here are able to identify Triton? You could be in big troub—

“(Y/n)? Are you coming?” Bella calls, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Y-yes.”

It seemed you would have to worry about that later. Not that it mattered right now, you could always just ask Triton when you got home. And even if he didn’t know the answer you would just have to be careful bringing him out of the house. Yeah… you would just do that.

“Guys, I would like to introduce you to (y/n). She’s a fine arts major just like us and knows about mythology. I think she would make a great addition to our group.” Bella introduces you as you enter the room. As you looked around the group of only 4 other people, you realized you really didn’t know anyone.

That is until everyone started to introduce themselves. You never heard of the first three—Brian, James and Kyle—but you found the last name, Marissa Samudra, quite familiar. You wonder if she was that Marissa.

Who you were talking about was Marissa, the hottest girl in school Marissa. Well, at least that’s what all the boys in your major told you. The girl in front of you at least seemed to fit the part. With white silk like skin, light green eyes and dyed coral pink hair, she truly was a sight to see.

“Okay. So shall we get started.” James suddenly spoke up, seeming to want to get the meeting started. You nodded your head in agreement before taking a seat next to Holly. As well as across from Marissa. “Well, I think we should first decide which god we should do. Culinary, Music, Visual performing arts and architecture already have chosen Aphrodite, Hades, Ares and Zeus. (Y/n)…”

You lift your head up at the call of your name.

“…as you know the most about Mythology, who do you think we should pick?”

“Well,…” You feel yourself pause, your palms growing sweaty out of nervousness. You really didn’t know that much about Greek Gods, only the class you took last year and the books you skimmed this morning. You also didn’t expect so many of the main gods to be taken already.

“…How about…”

You needed to think of someone fast. Someone that would satisfy all parties here. Someone that would bedazzle people coming to the festival.

“…Poseidon…?”

Why… Why was that what your brain had come up with? Poseidon? The very god that you were cursing out this morning. Wishing near death upon.

“Fish man?” Brian questioned, letting out a small chuckle at his own joke, “You really want to go with Fish man as our god? Isn’t there anyone better?”

“I think Poseidon is pretty…cool.” You feel a shiver go up your spine as you compliment the man. It was official, you might actually puke. “…He’s the king of the seas. It gives us a lot to work with for his character. Especially since most Fine Arts students are good at realistic elements, we could really do well on painting or using sea life.”

“True… but—“

“I think it’s a wonderful idea.”

You are shocked as you hear Marissa cut Brian off. When you first sat down, she seemed totally uninterested in the topic at hand. Caring more about her hair and nails than anything else. But now, now, she was paying attention to every little thing. You couldn’t help but wonder why. “Oh sorry. I really like the sea. It holds a special place in my heart… you know?”

Oh, that makes sense. You totally forgot Marissa’s paintings were mostly about the ocean and sea. Never drifting off to other topics.

“N-no. That’s actually pretty cool. You know what, we should totally do Posedin… or whatever the dude’s name is. He sounds really cool.” Bryan agrees as he bashfully rubs the back of his neck. Gross, could he make it any less obvious that he was smitten by her. And not in a nice way either.

You feel yourself shiver as you watch him sneak small glances down at Marissa’s chest area. Disgusting pervert…

“Well, with that decided let’s move on…”

…Great… You could already tell this was going to be a long meeting…

—.—.—.—.—

Again, for what felt like the hundredth time today, you banged your head against the wall. This time however it was against the door of your apartment.

“Seriously… a Café…?”

Yes, a Café. That’s the brilliant idea your group came up with. An under the sea type themed café.

In hindsight it didn’t sound all that bad. You could have a couple of students paint some props and decorations. Then another couple of students who know how to cook plan out the menu. Maybe even borrow some culinary students if you were lucky.

But,… there’s that.

Outnumbered three to two, the boys of your group insisted the girls that are serving customers should wear togas. Togas. They stated it was to bring in more customers but it was pretty obvious they had other intentions behind it. Especially since they didn’t even bother waiting a couple of minutes afterwards to ask if Marissa wanted to be part of the waiting staff.

“Poor girl… I feel bad for her.” You mumble to yourself as you pull out your keys, finally unlocking the door to your apartment. You wished you could just beat all those men senseless with a baseball bat. “That’s actually not a bad idea… Could I bring a wooden club and say that it's part of the character? They seem to not know that much about—“

“Miss (y/n)!” You hear shouted as something comes barreling into you. Knocking you onto the ground right as you enter your apartment. “O-oops I meant to only say (y/n)…”

Even though you got the air literally knocked out of you, you still let out a small chuckle as you reached up to run a hand through the perpetrator’s locks. Triton’s blonde locks. “It’s okay. I only told you this morning to stop referring to me so formally. It will take time for you to get used to it.”

Suddenly, you wince at a feeling of pain as you move slightly. Triton sure was strong. You, honestly, wondered if he held back some strength when he jumped at you. If so, you wondered how strong Triton was nonetheless an adult god.

Speaking of an adult god…

“Hey Triton.” The boy lifts his head up at your call, “Do any gods live on earth?”

The boy seemed to take a moment to think, “Well kind of? Not really Greek Gods though. Most of them are too proud to live with humans.”

“Oh well that’s goo— Wait, a minute! Other gods are real as well!?”

Triton nods his head furiously, “Yeah pretty much all gods. As long as it is considered as one, it exists. There’s Nordic gods…, Indian gods…, Oh! Even Buddha. I like Buddha, even though I’ve only met him once. He introduced me to salt water taffy! It’s delicious.”

“I-I see…I’ll try to get you some then. Another time.” As much as you wanted to hide your surprise you couldn’t. Learning that Greek Gods actually existed was one situation but learning that All Gods existed was a whole nother ball game. Did that mean demons existed as well?

“Hey (y/n). Could I ask you a question?” Triton asks, suddenly seeming bashful all of a sudden.

“Sure. What’s up?”

“Could I…” Triton pauses for a moment, “Could I call you…”

You leaned closer to Triton as his voice slowly got softer and softer at the end. His ears and cheeks were bright red as he waited for you to answer. However, you couldn’t answer him as you didn’t hear the last part of what he said.

“I apologize. Could you repeat what you said, Triton? I couldn’t hear the end of it.” You felt bad for asking him to repeat it as his face only seemed to get even more red when you asked.

“I-I… Could I call you… Mom?”

It was silent as his question, or rather request, fell upon your ears. You thought about it for a moment. Especially whether it was morally right for you to have him call you ‘mom’. Even if his true mother was a terrible person, she was still his mother.

Though, then again, She really didn’t act like his mother. Especially in all her hundreds of years of existence of having him. At least from what you’ve heard from Triton. She’s had plenty of chances to show her love for him and she never did.

“Of…Of course you can.”

You feel yourself smile as Triton’s face lit up. And you knew, Deep down inside, that you did the right thing. You would show this boy the love he deserved.

“Hey (Y— Mom.” You giggle at how Triton seemed to practically beam with happiness once the title left his lips.

“Yes, Triton?”

“Could we have dinner right now?”

You feel yourself jump up a little in surprise. Since you stayed later than what you usually would, due to the meeting, you didn’t have anything prepared ahead of time for dinner.

“Ah, yes. Do you think you could wait in the living room while I prepare it?”

“Of course!” Triton answers as he scrambles up off of you. As you make your way to the kitchen—which was technically in the same room as the living room—to start dinner, you find yourself drifting off into your thoughts.

You realized you really hadn’t thought this through. Taking care of Triton and all. Your apartment was small, he didn’t have his own room, he seemed to eat a lot more than a human boy his physical age and so much more.

You wouldn’t be able to buy a bigger apartment right now. Going through college and all. But you could take more shifts at work. After all, it was literally down the street. You were also good friends with the owner of the toy shop next door. You bet he would allow Triton to play with a couple of toys while you worked.

As you continue to list things you would need to take care of Triton especially if it was long term, Triton was watching cartoons on the couch.

“…Wonder cats will be right back!…”

As the show goes to commercial break, Triton feels himself let out a sigh. Television sure was awesome and all, much better than the plays and coliseum matches used to entertain gods, but he despised ads more than anything.

“Who in the world created such a malicious thing…”

Triton’s voice trails off at the end as the ad changes to another. As he stares at the screen, he feels a shiver shoot down his spine. As quickly as he could, Triton changes the channel to another before shakily dropping the television remote. A cold sheen of sweat breaks out all over his skin as he collapses back onto the couch.

To anyone else, the commercial before looked like any normal hair dye commercial seen on Tv. But not to Triton. Especially when he saw something oh so familiar.

“T-that hair color…” Triton feels himself shiver at the thought, “L-looked too much like Aunties. Mom’s…No…

…Amphitrite’s Sister.”

Author Note: Ahhh this chapter contained so much but I knew I couldn’t split it up. Especially if I was doing posting Tuesdays and Thursdays. I was worried that the time frame in between would mess my readers up. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this Chapter. I know there wasn’t a lot of Triton moments but I wanted to get the ball rolling on the plot so that things and certain characters (*cough* Poseidon *cough*) will appear soon. Well that’s it for now, see you next time :)))

Taglist: @angeli-fucking-cat @marixxhq

[skrivarmelodi]

Now AOT is over...

So, I read the final chapter of Attack On Titan and there are a lot of thoughts and feelings. But overall I'm pleased with the whole story and the ending. I trusted Isayama and he didn't disappoint me.

There are certain things I'd like to go into detail about Levi, Ymir, Mikasa, Eren etc and certain moments during the story.

So if anyone cares here we go. (warning, this got long and contains spoilers for chapter 139 and obviouisly the whole story!)

First, Ymir Fritz, Eren, and Mikasa.

The more we got to know Ymir, the more we knew about her circumstances and how it all started, the more I asked myself, why she doesn’t simply stop all of the misery, if she can and, obviously, has the power to do so (chapter 122).

I thought, perhaps, because she loves King Fritz so much, after all, she sacrificed herself in order to protect him (which I didn’t like at all, because he was a shitty person). But then I wasn't sure if Isayama would use 'love' in such a way. He did and it's nothing new but it's something we can all understand. Love is good, but it can also be something bad, something toxic, and Ymir was most likely a slave of her own feelings because she didn't know better. Her life was miserable until she got the power to become a Titan and gave birth to the daughters of the king. But as you can see, at the beginning of chapter 122 she watches a couple getting married and that was what she wanted too. To be loved. This was the love she knew and the love she protected and believed that was true love (most likely) because she didn't know a different kind of love.

When Eren told her, that she can decide and asked her to give him the power he needs, it didn’t sit well with me. I guess because I never connected Eren to have any romantic feelings (though I guessed so much when it comes to Mikasa and he simply wanted to be cool or something). But AOT in itself doesn’t display love in the way we usually see, that became very clear to me with each new chapter. And love is not the first thing that comes to my mind when I think about AOT.

Now about Eren.

Oh boy, look at that. When Eren slowly became the villain I liked the idea but at the same time I was questioning it. It simply made no sense to me why he would want to kill everyone and yet care so deeply about his friends. Also, Isayama is not that sort of person to let his characters act out of character. Whatever the characters I agreed with it because that was how Isayama created them. That's why, when it came out that Eren was able to see the past, present, and future, I thought he probably saw a way to stop all of this and protect his friends. Isayama played us good, when Eren was rude towards Mikasa and Armin and then the rumbling came, but I constantly thought 'No, there must be more to it'. And yeah, Eren saw a possible future because everything was unclear to him and he grabbed that chance and took it.

Remember in the first season, when Eren, Levi, and Levi's squad were fighting against the female titan and that Eren has to decide what he should do and what not? That he has to accept the consequences? Yeah, Eren did that and he knew it was bad but it was the way he believed in and saw, even if it meant to kill 80% of humanity (what the...) and sacrifice his own life. I don't see Eren as a hero nor as a villain. But he definitely acted on his own free will and accepted the consequences.

Now about Mikasa.

Well, I'll be honest, I was never a fan of Mikasa. I didn't like how she was solely focused on Eren and didn't seem to have her own goals that were not connected to Eren. I simply didn't like that and Eren wasn't my favourite either, but I love their development. The moment I started to feel sorry for her was when Eren said he hated her. You see, I get it, I understand why Mikasa is the way she is and I'm simply no fan of this 'I do everything for you, fuck everyone else' especially not in a world like AOT, I also understand the Ackermann Bond (I ship Eruri after all). So I was really pissed at Eren to stomp on her feelings like that because, no matter how much I like or dislike a person, you don't treat them the way Eren did (also toward Armin). From that moment on, I enjoyed her development and when she cut off Eren's head I was sad and happy for her.

So, in many ways, Mikasa is like Ymir, or rather, Ymir is like Mikasa, but on a whole different level. Mikasa, who devoted herself to Eren, just like Ymir did to King Fritz, saw that what he was doing was wrong and she decided to stop him. She loves him still, of course, but she was able to do what Ymir couldn't and she did it for the greater good. Because there is more than Eren, there are more people who deserve to live. I did like that and also that her action was the eye-opener for Ymir. It doesn't change the way Mikasa feels about Eren, and that's okay, but she was willing to kill the person she loves more than anything because it was the right thing to do. Ymir simply couldn't do what Mikasa did because she didn't know better.

About Levi, Erwin's death, Armin saving humanity, Berthold wasn't supposed to die, and just some thoughts about AOT in general.

Now, I do ship Levi and Erwin together and I was sure Levi would die and meet Erwin in the afterlife and then Isayama would out them (haha). But I'm just happy that Levi survived and is now the adopted uncle of Gabi and Falco. He's my favorite character and a lot of things would have ended badly without him. For me, he and Erwin and their squad represented not only a strong force and saviours but also how you probably have to be in order to survive/handle a world like AOT.

So I was shocked, at first, when Levi saw Erwin and the others because I thought he would die, but when the tear ran down his cheek, I could feel how everything fell of his shoulders. Levi never cried, never had time to mourn his comrades because he understood the world they were living in and that he needed to keep on moving. I never considered him as someone cold because he clearly wasn't. But he also never cried and seeing that... finally. And I'm sure he cried some more after everything. I thought he would cry (he was close to though and perhaps did when he was alone) when Erwin died because that fucking broke him.

Their relationship fascinated me even before I started to ship them but it broke my fucking heart when Erwin died too.

And here we come to the part about Armin and Bertholg.

I was so pissed that Armin survived and even more when things just became worse. I thought, in AOT, you can't solve everything through talking. It worked during certain critical moments, yes, but it simply isn't the main key for everything when it comes to the world of AOT.

So, I never understood why Armin had to survive and not Erwin and it became more and more confusing for me as the story continued because Armin, clearly, is not Erwin and he doesn't have what Erwin has. I don't know if things would have been better with Erwin being in charge, but he would have definitely done something while Armin didn't know what to do. Sure, he is younger than Erwin, doesn't have the experience as Erwin does and in his core he is very different, and that's totally fine. Armin is fine the way he is, but during the story. I constantly found myself thinking: 'With Erwin and his mind, we wouldn't be in such a situation'. I once read somewhere that Levi and Erwin are too smart to be fooled by, for example, Yelena. I can't help but agree.

And today, when I read the final chapter and Eren said 'Berthold wasn't supposed to die on that day' and also, that he couldn't see the past and future as separated paths but everything at once I thought, that this is Isayama giving us his version but there are also many many other ways this story could go. Which is, for me, such a sweet and grateful message. We are free to choose our path (fanfiction/fanart etc) and to create a different story, but this AOT version is his version and how he imagined it, or rather, how Eren saw one possible happy end.

I'm still certain with Erwin around things would have been different, better even, but I understand Eren too. I guess, he didn't only choose Armin because he knew things would have a happy ending for his friends. He also choose Armin because of personal feelings. I wonder what would have happened if Berthold survived, was there also a happy end but without Armin? And perhaps without the rumbling? I think it's nice that Isayama did this and that he, basically, points at a different way but it's up to us.

Now, the rumbling is over and so is the power of the titans and in such a world, someone like Armin is the right person to be in. Now it's all about talking, having a proper conversation, creating relationships through words. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Erwin would have been able to do that as well, but Armin is much more diplomatic than Erwin because he doesn't want to fight or kill, it's really the last option for him. Erwin on the other hand wouldn't hesitate, and someone like him was important for the world before the rumbling was over.

Now some general thoughts about AOT now that it's over.

Okay, so, I watched tons of Anime when I was a teenager and the best thing for me was Death Note. But after Death Note I found nothing that really interested me and a lot of weird stuff. I don't know, it simply wasn't for me. However, I continued reading my yaoi Mangas and even studied Japanese for a year. Then, I did hear about Attack on Titan but I was so used to shitty Anime that I thought it would be shitty too (the next best thing I found was Yuri on Ice). However, a friend of mine gave me the first season and I thought, well, why not. I was so wrong and through AOT I found my way back to Anime.

It's not just the story, not just the art-style I like, it's Isayama and his brain I enjoy so much. I'm a very logical person and I like it when stories and things make sense and are connected from the beginning till the end and when it never feels forced but natural, true, loyal to the characters and the world they created. I don't know how he does it but I'm so grateful for AOT and that he decided to share this amazing story with us (even though it was fucking painful and my poor Levi). It's really been a while for me to find a story that caught me like Death Note did many years ago.

So, ありがとう、Isayama-San!

But I'd love to know more about the Ackermans and Levi and perhaps we'll get a book like Answers etc later. That would be great.

[thelovelyghostwriter]

just wanna throw it out there, i don’t know where you watched it, but neferpitou is never referred to as her in the subs that i saw, like not even once that i can think of

Hello. Well, of course, our experiences are different.

My memory is a little hazy, but I first watched it on Kissanime (or is it Gogoanime?) several years ago. The second time watching it was on Singapore Netflix, which only has the Eng/Chinese subtitles and Japanese/Mandarin audio back in 2018/9.

Now, I cannot remember if the Kissanime referred to Pitou as a her, and the site was shut down already, though I do remember the subs referencing Pitou as a mother cat. Back then, I actually thought Pitou was a girl because of the appearance and the mother cat, until sometime a year later, I found out that the manga and anime had discrepancies.

For the Netflix one, I must say, the English subtitles are different and inaccurate (we had the full series really early). I remember rewatching this and I think they referred to Alluka as a "she" throughout, even with characters other than Killua, although they had referred to Alluka as a "brother". I had to explain to my friends because they just assumed Alluka is biologically female. I think they also used "she" for Pitou (again, this is 2 to 3 years ago, my memory is super hazy). I could check again, but currently, I'm too busy to check the episodes.

Maybe I had made a mistake with that phrasing, although I'm not sure what phrase I should use instead as data collection is still ongoing. I need to be careful when editing it, as it might affect the charts. I may have to fix the phrasing, but right now, I’m out of ideas and I’m open to anyone who have suggestions. 

Now that has gotten out of the way, let me share with you my thought processes on Pitou in this survey.

Please note that I am aware that anon just wants to tell me this information, and I am willing to take any questions and clarify anything. I am only taking this opportunity to clear up any potential questions by ensuring that everyone who is interested understands the decision I had made when it comes to Pitou, since the question is in regards to Pitou's gender.

Frankly speaking, it doesn't matter to me if Pitou is a female or male, it's just a fictional character, it's a chimera ant. I like Pitou as a character and the design, and initially, I never bothered to look at Pitou's gender due to mixed opinions about it. While some people refer to Pitou as a boy, there's someone on Reddit recently that is debating that Pitou is a woman and commented why I did not include Pitou in the hxh girls/women under the "favourite hxh girls/women" question. The Redditor also reasoned that the manga part about Pitou referring to themselves as "boku" was a mistranslation. And then there's people who are just saying chimera ants do not have biological sex (but we see the Chimera Ant Queen giving birth so??)

It's honestly extremely confusing to me and that's why I never bothered to look into it. Pitou is just a character that I know and love. And I never cared about whether people prefer addressing Pitou as a girl or boy, or something else.

Until I had to make this survey.

The only reason why I categorised ships into het, BL and Yuri is that there are over 50 pairings on Hunterpedia. For example, if people indicate that they only ship het ships, then all the ships featuring a girl and a boy will be presented in the next question. The BL and Yuri ships won't appear. This is designed so that people do not have to go through the trouble of scrolling through an incredibly long list of ships just to pick their favourites. Again, it's a technical reason.

However, this was a problem for Pitou because well, I didn't actually bother to look up Pitou's gender previously.

At first, I went to look at what people who refer to the manga had to say, and most of them reasoned it's because Pitou used "boku" which was a masculine(?) term. Now, I can't read Japanese but this is what people used for the rationale. It's just that Pitou seemed to have breasts and more feminine in the anime.

So initially, I wanted to list Pitou as a boy in that shipping section.

The only reason why I changed my mind, is because many people had only watched the 2011 anime version for the pre-Dark Continent Exploration arc. Even in my survey, only 168 had read the manga before the Dark Continent Exploration arc, but 403 people had watched the 2011 anime.

And as far as I know, from my observation, most people who had only watched the 2011 anime refer to Pitou as a girl (even if they know how Pitou is presented in the manga). And when they ship Pitou with someone, they usually view Pitou as a catgirl or something. Or at least, in the fanarts I've seen.

I did not want the case where people who ship Pitou with someone has to adjust their "thinking" when choosing the list of ships.

Those were pretty much my thoughts when I decided to list Pitou as a girl in the shipping section. And I'm not sure if that affected my memory when it comes to thinking that the anime referred to Pitou as a she/her.

Pitou is ambiguous but the anime refers to Pitou as a "her" a lot. Therefore, listed as a girl.

This is why I came up with these two sentences. Again, I am not very particular about this detail, but for the sake of technical reasons, I did what I had to do. You also need to understand that for texts in a survey, you have to make them as concise as possible.

Which we move on to the other comment I had about not including Pitou in the list of hxh girls/women. It's tied to my initial decision of listing Pitou as a boy. I made a tough decision to just... not include all Chimera Ants in that section, since they aren't human anyway. The only character that wasn't human that I included in that question is Nanika, but that's because Nanika is tied to Alluka (I listed Alluka as a girl. I know certain people won't agree with me. Killua says Alluka is a girl, and that's that). Besides, there was already a question regarding ranking Chimera Ants. So I think it's fair not to include Chimera Ants, although I do feel really bad because I think there are people who feels that their favourite female hxh character is Pitou. 

Please understand that the decisions to include and what not to include can be difficult, in certain questions or characters when it comes to this. I cannot make everyone satisfied with the survey and I don't intend to make that promise. However, I will try my very best to make it as good as it can be. 

I am going to address this in my report, in regards to Pitou and my decisions when it comes to this character in the survey. I need to look for the manga panel where Pitou uses "boku" so that I can properly explain it in my report.

[myfaveisfuckable]

Oh my god Yor and Hani battle of the ages thank you for the idea

Anyway more vaguely coherent ideas, just bc I can

So loid adopts Anya first thing, before he meets Yor, before he even has fully decided not to, say, have Franky pose as his wife, so since I hijacked his meeting with Yor he does have Anya... I do kinda wanna give him a meeting with Yor though... Maybe she should be working with the haninozuka family or something? Lmao she and Yuri could be hani's cousins

anyway yeah, they both have kids, they're both applying to the same school and suddenly realized there's no way they're getting in as commoner (from the host club and thus the schools pov) single fathers, they're both buying school uniforms when they meet (although actually I just realized loid buys Anya's later but . I'll leave it be). You know like those jokes about prestigious preschools where even after technically fulfilling all requirements they're pretty full up and have lots of applications and they're run by someone on a total power trip? So you do everything you can to appeal, including in this case fake marriage and hey! Bonus points for diversity! Places like that love "respectable" diversity... Or not, it's a big gamble unless you already know what they're looking for

As for Loid not wanting to be figured out by a precocious Haruhi, I'll admit he'd be a little hesitant, but he's in a time crunch and his main other option is to have Franky pose as his wife so I feel he would choose the more convincing wife guy and trust in his spy abilities

As for what loid is doing, I'll be honest it's been over a year since I watched either show, so I'm playing fast and loose with it all, but

It's set in the Ouran universe (ish) and Loid is a government spy, who had been on assignment in the states for many years (doing what? I don't know honestly. Seducing rich women into investing in Japanese companies?) Anyway he's back now but has basically no established identity and a vague assignment to investigate tax fraud in a certain social circle...

So mostly he's snooping and disguising and generally not killing... I will say, I think in this version of things I would put him as having been in the army for a while or something if I could manage to make it make sense

I don't know much about the background politics of Ouran though lmao

I do like the throuple idea! Especially like .. Mr fujioka and Yor bonding over long hair troubles and girly things that haruhi's not very interested in .. and they would be adorable besties

I did just now realize there's like a ten year age gap maybe but hey

I'm not very good at building up characters that only exist as another character's grief, so I can't really conceive of much to do with haruhi's mom other than let her stay dead, especially with the impact her death had on Haruhi and her dad.... I wouldn't really know then without that grief. But! It might be interesting to play with maybe Loid and Yor doing the whole fake marriage to get in thing and meeting the fujikas some other way... I don't think the Ouran high school has much to do with the other lower grades but maybe Haruhi applies to be a tutor or something over the summer? And befriends Anya and some contrivance allows the families to meet and grow closer?

I think it would be VERY funny if Franky and Mr fujioka are buddies or coworkers bc I think they'd get along and also bc like... Imagine all the missed meetings... It could be a montage... Five times they didn't meet and the one time they did... Franky has been trying to get them to meet for ages (so Mr fujioka can take some of his workload)

All of your ideas thoooooo I'm gonna explode that's some grade a fic inspiration if I weren't sick rn id be at my computer typing away ough

I will also admit maybe I'm being mean to kyouyas dad but I needed a bad guy soo... Oh but maybe I also want loid to deal with tamakis grandma... Maybe she will take the fall for the tax fraud money laundering dubious business practices loid is on the hunt for

Basically I'm taking a half remembered show and squashing it together with a three quarters remembered show and making it everyone's problem lmao

Rants!

Forjioka: God. Can you imagine. Haruhi finally thinks she's getting a calm dad and then Mr Loid 'anxiety' Forger enters the chat. Anya meeting the host club... Haruhi Anya neurodivergent siblings eating peanuts and watching the utter clownery of the host club... Two men, who on the surface resemble the construction of the average nuclear family but in reality are anything but.. modern era Loid is trying to get close to the parents of the host club through Haruhi instead of Damien and the Desmonds... Parents day at the host club, anyone?? God .

You x my mom: she has a lot of dogs... Dog sons in law is a pretty good perk tbh but she also has me and I'm annoying

[manggojooz]

Foolish Love, Fake Love (Part 8)

pairing: idol!Jungkook x bodyguard!reader

word count: ~2,700

genre: idol!au; angst; romance; drama; enemies to lovers sort of thing

warnings: none

previous part: Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 |  Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 |  Part 6  | Part 7

summary: If all you can give me is a fake love, then I will be the fool to pretend that it is all true.

Taglist: @a-hopelessly-imaginative-girl  @dollwithluv @sweetcheeksdna @yeontanie21 @peachygiraffe14 @jeontaes-world  @forvever-ddaeng @namjoonsslutakakoreanmanswhore @apurpledheart

Note: firstly i am sorry this took so long. i have been really busy trying to settle things here and there in my life. secondly, as i am starting a new job soon i am not sure how long it might take for me to finish the next chapter and for that i am sorry again. 

lastly, the lyrics in this chapter is from a Chinese song titled “ME”... although this is not the original singer, i liked this version a lot more so im sharing it here as a song rec... hope you enjoy this chapter <3 

”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6dbL3HRkhw“

The white bandages going across your shoulders reminds you of that day. The pain was less pervasive, or was it only because you were used to it by now?  

You put your shirt back on in the emergency room, as the doctor disappears through the curtains to talk to Myunghoon.  

“We need to wait for her x-ray results to see if any of her bones were injured, just hang on around for a while please”, you overhear as the doctor kindly tells Myunghoon.  

“Of course, thank you doctor but can I speak to you about something?”, Myunghoon replied.  

---

The curtains were drawn, you were still sitting on the bed, tired more so mentally than physically.  

“Ms. Y/N, please follow me...”, a nurse calls out to you and you see Myunghoon standing next to her.  

You were brought into a tiny room at the back of the emergency room.  

“What’s going-”, you asked the nurse and Myunghoon, but before you could finish your question, Yoongi enters the room.  

“It’s going to take a while for the x-ray results, and he can’t keep sitting in the van so I requested them to put us up here for a short while...”, Myunghoon explained.  

“Ah... I’m sorry for the trouble...”, you murmured.  

Yoongi does not say anything but drags his feet to the patient bed in the room and lies down. Myunghoon gives you a tiny nod and pointed towards the couch squeezed into the other corner of the room.  

“I’ll need one of you to come and handle the paperwork...”, said the nurse.  

“And that would be me...” Myunghoon answered, walking towards the door with her but turns back to say, “I’ll be back soon guys, just wait a while here.”  

As the door closes, the air around you felt still, causing your mind to wander into its memory bank.  

“I told you to protect her... isn’t that your only job? Is this how you protect someone?” the image of Jungkook yelling at you refreshed itself a few times.  

“You are right... I generally don’t bother making the effort to care... but you seem to be an exception.” Yoongi’s words too, brought themselves back to your mind.  

Suddenly an intense vibration disturbed the silence, breaking the still air and your thoughts. You turned towards the origin of the sound and see Yoongi raising his handphone above his face before rejecting the call and placing his phone back down.  

He sighed deeply before dragging himself to sit upright, swinging his legs off the bed. He started making his way towards the door and you quickly stood up, “I don’t think you should go outside... it’s quite crowded out there...”

He turns back, eyes locking with yours, “It’s ok, I’ll be fine, it’s too stuffy here.”  

You walked slightly closer to him, “If you have to go out, I’ll follow you then.”  

His face is mostly expressionless except for his blinking eyes looking away momentarily and then he moves back to sit down on the bed. “It’s ok, I can wait here a while more, you should sit down and rest too.” he slurred his words as usual.  

“I’m fine... if you want to go outside, I can just follow you... you don’t have to worry about-” you tried to explain.  

“I said I'm ok... let’s just wait for Myunghoon to come back”, his tone was sterner this time.  

His reaction caused you to be somewhat concerned. “Ummm...” you carefully stood nearer to him and he looks up at you, “thank you for bringing me to the hospital... and I appreciate the concern for me, really... I’m sorry for what happened earlier... I don’t want it to become an issue , you know like, a hindrance to me doing my job.”  

His eyes stayed on you for quite a while before he responded, “There’s no issue.”  

“But... just now in the car... you said that I was an exception... I... it’s my job to do this and-” you stammered.  

“I just feel bad for you...”

You stared at him for a while before uttering, “Why... why are you... feeling bad for me?”, you stammered.

“I don’t know... maybe because you are a female bodyguard...”, he answered.

“... Because I am a female bodyguard?”, your tone tensed up a little.  

“Just... you know... that it makes me feel wrong that I’m supposed to hide behind you...”, he sounded a little annoyed  

Men are often stronger than women; hardly any profession escapes that generalisation. However, your profession is often way more susceptible to this notion.  

“Yuri is a female bodyguard too... so why am I the only exception then?” you questioned.  

He hesitated for quite a while before muttering, “I didn’t say you were the only exception.”  

“Ahhh...” you nodded faintly.

Just then, his phone vibrates again. He peeks at it, sighs and rejects the call again.  

---

“Hyung, he’s not answering my call. Can you try calling Myunghoon hyung?” Jungkook paces around in the private restaurant room.

“Yaaaa, I already told you... Myunghoon said he’s busy now and will call me back once he’s done... for someone so worried why did you shout at her like that just now?” Sejoon remarked disapprovingly at Jungkook.

He didn’t know you were injured. How was he supposed to know? You looked fine at that moment.  

Yoonjoon sat at the table, Kijoon repeatedly asking if she needs to go to the hospital but her eyes were fixed on Jungkook. Jungkook senses her watching him and his pacing around stops immediately. He pulls out the chair next to her and sat down, “Are you sure you want to wait? I think you should go to the hospital first.”  

“I’m ok... let’s just wait.” she replied.  

Someone knocks on the door and enters; it was the manager of the restaurant. “We’ve look through our CCTV footages, there isn’t one that captures that area directly... The goods were unloaded at the carpark but we don’t know for sure whether it was just left unattended or someone intentionally pushed the trolley down. We’ll make a police report and get to the bottom of this. Once again, we are really sorry for this incident.”  

---

Once Myunghoon had finished handling the paperwork, you had urged him to take Yoongi back. Yoongi did not protest much either.  

So now you sat alone in the room, your right hand gently resting on your shoulder, assuring yourself that it will all be fine.  

The doctor finally enters, she places the x-ray on the table and beckons you to join her.  

“How long has it been since your last injury?” she asked. Your expression was solemn.  

---

Yoongi lay in his bed, no lights were turned on it his room, the only brightness filtered in from his window. He is good at sleeping, he should just sleep.  

But someone was determined not to allow him to sleep.  

“Hyung!” Jungkook continuously knocks on Yoongi’s door. “Hyung! Is she injured seriously?” at least Jungkook knew better than to just barge in to his room.  

He could hear Seokjin and Namjoon’s voices outside.  

“Who’s injured?” Namjoon asked.  

“Eyyy Yoongi is probably sleeping, don’t bother him...” Seokjin chimed.  

Yoongi sighs again, closing his eyes trying to let sleep find him. He doesn’t want to be involved in this, it seems bothersome, and bothersome things should be avoided at all cost.  

---

Now Jungkook was pacing around in the living room. Who should he call? Myunghoon? Sejoon? He'll probably get a scolding from either of these choices. Should he just call you? The way you stared him down earlier flashes in his mind. No no no, that must be the worst idea, he can never call you after what happened just now.  

Seokjin was munching on an apple as he watches his dongsaeng walk up and down the living room. Namjoon was trying to watch the TV that was behind Jungkook and he couldn’t take it anymore.  

“Hey can you just settle down? Or you know, go back to your room if you are going to walk around like this...” he said with gentle annoyance.  

“Hyung, hyung... what should I do?” Jungkook sat on the floor in front of the two older brothers whom he thought were wiser.

“What do you mean what should you do? If you are so worried, then go look for her... or just give her a call” Seokjin replied incredulously.  

“Ahhh~ do I have to? How do I even face her?! I don’t think it’s really my fault” Jungkook whined.  

Seokjin and Namjoon looked at each other curiously.  

“Who are you talking about? Aren't you just worried about Yeonjoo’s injury? Just call her... it’s not as if it’ll be the first time you are doing that” Namjoon chided.  

“Yeon-… no hyung I wasn’t talking about Yeonjoo...” Jungkook was baffled, “I was talking about Y/N... it seems like she was injured too and Yoongi hyung and Myunghoon hyung sent her to the hospital.”

“I didn’t know Yoongi went for dinner with you and Yeonjoo...” Seokjin was rather shocked.  

“Noooo...” Jungkook whined, “they saw her along the road and picked her up-”

“What?!” Namjoon was shocked too, “She was injured and you let her walk all the way to the road herself?! What if Yoongi didn’t pass by... what would she do?” Namjoon was appalled by now.  

“No wonder he’s pacing like this up and down,” Seokjin chuckled.  

---

Jungkook fiddles with his phone in his room.  

“If you know you were wrong, just own up and apologise... of course it’s not going to be easy but that’s the least you should do now, right?” what was Jungkook expecting Namjoon or Jin to say to him other than urge him to apologise.  

He unlocks his phone and then it dawns on him that he doesn’t even have your phone number. He makes up his mind and messages Sejoon to ask for your number.  

After five seconds of putting the phone aside, he picks it up again to see if Sejoon has replied but there was nothing. In order to keep his mind occupied, he decided to log onto their SNS. He started scrolling through the endless number of memes and messages sent to them.  

A really funny meme of Taehyung caught his eye and he laughed a little, another message from a fan who said she just fought with her boyfriend is waiting for him to say sorry while listening to BTS’ songs made him pause again. He kept on scrolling through the messages sent to him.  

Then, something makes him stop abruptly. One message titled “To Mr. 5.2.”  

“It can’t be...” he thought to himself but he clicks in and reads on.  

“We all yearn for someone who really likes us, someone who really loves us. But if we never knew the real you, then would you still believe our love was real? I hope you can start feeling comfortable in being yourself and showing the real you... there is always the fear that someone you cherish would run away if they knew the real you, but wouldn’t that be better than living in a world filled with fake love? Here's a song I’m recommending to you if you can’t sleep tonight...”

He was slowly analysing the message. Could it be? But why would you send him such a message?  

“I guess this is why we always have to keep up an image... once people know the real us, they will just stop supporting us,” Jungkook recalls his last words to you previously.  

Is it really you? He still isn’t sure.  

He clicks on the song that you had sent along with the message:  

“I use the love from others to define my existence, I’m afraid that my life would be blank.

But I have forgotten whether I should let my dreams conceal the ‘me’ from years ago

If you saw me, the me who is like this, scared and weak, and hiding in a corner

Will you runaway... or will you love me more?”*

Tears pooled in his eyes as he listened to it. It was as if the song was quietly singing about his inner fears which he had always avoided touching.  

For a few minutes after the song ended, he was still as a statue but the vibration caused by Sejoon's message disrupts his trance.

---

Your phone kept ringing and buzzing in your room. It stopped right as you entered the room with a towel draped over your freshly-showered hair. Just as you were about to turn on the hairdryer, the call came in again.  

In a flash you were dashing around the house with Yuri, grabbing your stuff, putting on a hoodie and your shoes.  

“Ahhh, out of all the times they could have caught the culprit, why must it be right around my bedtime!” Yuri was complaining as she put on her jacket.  

“I think it’s kinda out of their control right? At what time they manage to catch her...” you reasoned, “... are you done yet? Hurry, let’s go.”  

“I’m done I'm done!” Yuri says annoyedly as she runs towards the door where you stood waiting.  

You pushed the door opened to head out but a loud yelp made you belatedly realise you had hit someone with the door.  

“I’m sorry I didn’t-” you were in the middle of apologising when you realise it is Jungkook standing outside clutching his knuckle.  

He notices you and immediately muffles his pained noises.  

“Oh, Jungkook-sshi? What are you doing here?” Yuri calls out from behind you.  

“I... uh...” he stammered while looking closely at your expression.  

You looked away from him and pushed past him to head out, Yuri following hastily behind you.  

Once you reached the lift lobby, you quickly called for a lift, internally cursing that the lift is taking too long to arrive.  

“Y/N...” Jungkook tried to get your attention, “are you going somewhere?”  

His question was met with silence from you and a queer gaze from Yuri.  

“Can I just talk to you for a moment?” Jungkook persisted with a slightly shakier tone.  

“Hey, he’s talking to you” Yuri tilted her head at you wondering why you were so determinedly staring at the lift doors that were not opening.  

Just then the lift finally comes and you immediately stomped in, Yuri again following suit.  

Jungkook hesitantly stood outside as you frantically pressed the button instructing the lift to close its doors.  

The doors start to move toward each other and suddenly Jungkook slams his hands on one side of the closing metal shaft.  

“I... I’m sorry for my attitude earlier... I...” he kept stuttering maybe because this time you were looking at him with the sternest look you had.  

“What happened earlier? Did something happen?” Yuri nudges your shoulders while questioning.  

You rolled your eyes, not wanting to discuss this topic now, “Let go of the door please.”  

“Where are you going to so late at night?” he asked.  

“That is none of your business” you replied.  

“We are going to the police station, they caught the girl who locked her in the toilet cubicle...” Yuri explained until she notices a death glare from you, “What...? You didn’t tell me anything or not to say anything...”  

Jungkook looked surprised to hear that, “I’ll go with you...”  

“There’s no need for you to come along, please let go of the door” you insisted.  

This time his expression changes too, and he determinedly steps into the lift. “You guys don’t have a car right? I’m taking you to the police station, which station is she at?”

“That’d be great” Yuri answered excitedly.  

You glared at her again before turning to Jungkook and staring him down without making a move.

He was not avoiding your staring this time, he too looked straight into your eyes, not angrily but pleadingly, “I am sorry for yelling at you earlier,” he started saying, “it was my fault for jumping to a conclusion that way... and I was childish to say those hurtful things. But that is me, the childish but real side of who I am. And now... this is me too, the side that is bad at apologising but desperately wants to do something so that I can make up for my mistake....” he pauses for a moment, “So... will you run away?”  

[xchoco-mixturex]

Holy moly, choco thorws an arrival (duh) analisys?!

As always, spoilers from tenkuu shinpan arrive, up until chapter 71. Always, the japanese version, since I read it in japanese. Read with caution below. ALSO ITS VERY LONG. I apologize before hand! (and for my poor english)

Like seriously, i mean, it ,this is HUGE SPOILERS! if not spoilers from much of the plot until now.

(And before you ask, we are translating be god damn patient or we drop the project, k thanks nwn)

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Okay? okay!

I dont now how many chapters we have left but i hope im actually wrong in this one because it feels like too few has passed :c. But a climax happened ofc: Daisei is there, you know, the huge ass eye. Also, ORibe mentioned that Yuri in on her way on fusion the dimensions, i dont know if she means the OG high rise dimension with the ruined high rise dimension? OR back to the real world? I doubt it’s back to the real world, since they still need a God, and left the game on pause tecnically. As Yuri said, it was ‘their fault’. Of course, Yuri being the actual administrator knew Daisei could do ruckus since he is also trying to archieve god. 

Now, i think Daisei is doing that in that ruined world since the OG High Rise world its paused. There hasnt been more killings, and i am not sure if the god candidate needs to read the other 2 god codes. For the ones that have read at least one code are:

Yuri

Juo

Okihara

Yoshida

And the Judges duo aka Kuon and Sniper.

Of course, Yuri cannot be god since it breaks the administrator rule, Juo is dead (is he? DUUUN DUN!) Okihara was comatose the last time we saw him and the med staff was healing him, Yoshida its mentioned to be alive but MIA. (or at least mentioned, since Yuri told Rika if he sees yoshida to thank him)

That would leave our beloved Sniper being the one with that duty. And for the role he is taking in arrive, who he is a bit more predominant there, it could make sense. BUUUUT! The issue is the god damn God system. I do not quite remember if reading the other codes was necessary,since he and Kuon finished the trial and faceless-kun said “yeh go on!” Of course, the issue with that, is that turning into God needs energy, and in the OG high rise world there is none or not the enough level to turn him into that, EVEN WORST, it seems that, according for what we have been seeing here, is that the ‘Will’ and the fluctuations of that is the one that feeds the system (despair, hope, etc). And will usually manifests, in a soul. Who the heck is a soul of the main five? Kuon.

You think the god damn Sniper would literally say “oh yeh, lets get rid of her and we get all out of here”. Lets be freaking honest, that option was there long ago but he was the one, literally, HIMSELF, that told her that no matter what she wont disappear. So yes, sacrificing Kuon is out of the question. Actually, sacrificing any of his team members its our of the qustion, since he asked Rika that with Yuri’s condition as Admin, she was forced to stay there somehow, and Rika said he is staying, and so did Sniper. So yes, leaving someone behind its ALSO out of the question Now, with the appearance of Daisei, who....Wanted to be like Kuon in that ethereal form since, according to him, it gives him a sort of inmortality, also wants to be god. And apparently, after he killed himself but had the will to ‘keep on living’, he realized he could be god. Now, I dont quite know HOW Ruined High rise world came to happen, but somehow Daisei arrived there. According with that he started a new killing game, a killing game the OG gang wanted to end FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL. Of course Daisei did not wanted them to interfere, so he created a sort of barrier that doesn't let the old members of the game enter. Therefore, neither Yuri and co could chase him down with the manipulating the barrier powers. That’s UNTIL...Kuon came with an idea. Apparently for what Sniper told Juorika and co, Kuon, Yuri, And Hayami Shintaro created the cloud mechanism (the ones with Clouds with a WILL aka, clouds with souls). Since Yuri seems to be human and in a frontier, and I am guessing its to keep the plan going, she sent the other main 4 to blend to that place: Rika, Nise, Sniper, And Kuon. Each of them linked to an object with their souls within, and not necessarily a weapon.  How each person got linked to their cloud its ANOTHER THEME, specially with the new character seen: Senya’s alien. The alien seems to be related to the creation of the system, not giving exactly who he is, but he having some authority over the strings of destiny, since he saw senya being a ‘main protaginist’ and, therefore, thats the reason he linked Senya with Sniper’s rifle, and therefore, Sniper! Who is the alien and what exactly is his role, i do not know quite yet. I just know the systems apparently were created with humanity’s will, the issue is how? and why? was a group of persons will? Since it seemed to be related to the archival of god status,  keeping people away of feelings, actually turning them emotionless, and being the strongest. Was it high class ppl? governments?  we dont know yet. Now back to the actual pot, Daisei has showed up, and his abilities with his second stage masks he seems to create using old memories. Some data recollected from the old world, not necessarily being ppl of that world that are alive right now, but also dead people since he brought Maid mask back.   Also it seems people are and at the same time are not related to their original power. If they have an original power beforehand, its good, but Daisei can also provide them more power of needed, specially if they are second stage soldiers. For example, Rika and Kuon are one of the strongest characters of the manga, Rika being an Apostle and not having  a god code in his system, yet still paired with the strength of a god, and Kuon, right now, its awfully OP, being able to bring ppl back to like and/or healing him. But their clones, Juo(rika) and Zeon, are just first stage level, who are just created to bring up despair, and analyse about intruders, but not personally KILLING the intruders or the foreign objects. (they call object from the OG gang like that). Then again, them compared to their og versions, aren’t that strong. Are they the strongest of their category? Yes. Are they paired to their original versions? Hell no. But then we have second stage soldiers that are naturally strong (Mayuko and Archeangel aka Nise and great angels clones...Oh and X, who is Miiko’s clone). And Second stage ones that aren’t naturally strong, like Maid mask, who was just paired up in strength to a strong angel, but nothing else, and now its paired up to people like Oribe who has Rika as her cloud (then again, a strong cloud,b ut his power is reduced due noodle form),and Asuka, who has Great Angel’s rod. What will happen now? Well, many stuff. First of all I don’t want it to end yet, but here are my takes: Well, we know Senya is coming back after talking with his alien friend (?, so he may get Oribe out of that issue when she is being strangled. The world merging may happen sooner as expected. That could mean, maybe, just maybe, the physical interference of the OG gang, no longer as noodles, since their presence its related to how the barrier (that its in a constant purge between Yuri and Daisei) its weakened or not.  I wonder if Daisei might flee with that, give a fight, or send a stronger clone. Hmmm... On the other hand, if the gang presence its stronger now, either be cloud is stronger or them just yeeting themselves there, that means MORE INTERACTIONS! (andsniperdad--). I hope we see other ones besides the main five, while i love the main five, i also like the other characters a lot, also lets have in mind Shika needs to see Hayami. Another thing, yes, during this whole ordeal, the Judges were investigating about Daisei, and while they aren’t sure if they can replicate bodies like he does (Iiiishhhh...) well they know, or at least Kuon knows, how to regenerate/resurrect people, but that takes a lot of energy and the hurt/dying person to have a will to keep on living, and honestly, I am surprised she hasn’t fainted yet--! Would the dimension merging somehow return her body back? Eh, its free to dream. What i know its that if the dimensions are united, that means Yuri could travel from A to B and, therefore, meet Nise again! And the crew of course! (well, after she rests because that whole things takes a lot of energy.) I rather not have my hopes up because Tenkuu shinpan Arrive aint as merciful as the prequel. Because honestly, it made me cry like at least 8 times. And Miura is not afraid to hit us in the feels, either be good or bad. What shall Daisei do? Oribe will be okay? What about the Mayu-Mayu gang with Juo(rika) and Zeon vs Archangel?! Rika will do something as a cloud? Shika will shoot? How long will Kuon endure in Nanami’s body?! WHERE IS THE SNIPER NOODLE?! And most importantly, if we have seen clones about almost all the main gang, and even some extras...Does that mean we shall face a Sniper clone soon?! (I fanon-wise call him Deva)  And how will his personality be? Because we have seen all clones are lacking on most of emotions (unlesstheyaredefective) Because if he is like how me and my tumblr bestie have been theorizing...This will be bad. Thank you for reading my huge analysis! Take care!

[thescribblerqueen]

Fanfiction Project List Pt. 3 

(Update 10/19/20)

Anime Edition (Because I’ve Been Revived)

Yuri on Ice, Haikyuu, and Prince of Stride. I’m doing what I want.

There’s a request in my Inbox that’s been in there for two years and I’m sorry, but I also want to do it first. Complete! (Link)

There’s two chapters of an angsty whump!Hinata fic that I impulsively started two years ago. Hinata and Kageyama don’t immediately get along as fast as they do in Canon and it causes issues. Might end up a TsukiHina Fic

Some fics that I thought I started, that I might have accidentally deleted off my drive that include two Oikage fics:

Kageyama goes to Aoba Johsai, but doesn’t join the volleyball team because a bunch of other students convinced him to give up volleyball and opts to focus on his studies. Those students convinced him Oikawa hated him, expect he’s really just an idiot with a crush who is bad at showing it. Oikawa tries to convince him to come back. Hinata is at Aoba Johsai.

Kitagawa Daiichi Fic, some upperclassman assault Kageyama after class purposely hurting his hands in order to prevent him from playing volleyball. He wants to quit being a setter/volleyball. Oikawa is completely confused and protective trying to convince him otherwise. Hinata transfers to their school.  

Some Yuri on Ice x Haikyuu Crossovers, based on the headcanon that if Yuuri and Victor had a Biological child from Haikyuu it would be Kageyama:

First version, is an A/B/O fic where Victor and Yuuri meet pretty young and accidentally mate, then are kept apart by the ISU probably. Yuuri ends up being forced to give up their child for adoption. Eventually Victor and Yuuri reunite and start a lawsuit to search for their child. Kageyama is their child and was adopted by a couple in an arranged marriage. They get a bitter divorce when he’s in middle school and they tell him he’s adopted, it leads to his King Phase. He fills out forms requesting his adoption papers before high school starts and is reunited with Victor and Yuuri. Probably an Oikage fic.

Second Version, is an gen mpreg fic (IDK it doesn’t vibe as ABO in that version), maybe a small one-shots. Yurio is his older, adopted brother. Yurio would definitely pick some fights with Oikawa. Kageyama is Tobio’s fake name to not be harassed by the media. He also knows Japanese, English, and Russian fluently but has terrible grades because he gets test anxiety from Yuuri but performs fine in Volleyball because he has two Olympic parents and he has Victor’s confidence in that but also zero social skills despite their best efforts.

Ask me more about them, I want to talk about them.

I swear I had a list that I think also accidentally got deleted and it makes me want to cry but the only things I can remember from it are this:

(Update! Started & Link)Victor and Yuuri dated pre-canon thanks to Christophe, but break up due to Yuuri’s anxiety after nationals. Yuuri has issues with an eating disorder and announces his retirement after returning home. Yurio is like their child and gets mad at Victor thinking he’s the reason they broke up and goes to Japan to convince Yuuri not to quit. Yuuri of course tells Yakov. Victor comes to Japan to stop him from retiring because he think that’s crazy when he planned to retire. Also the Video still happens and Vicchan is alive and confused by Makkachin because they never actually met.

A/B/O fic idea that Phichit and Yuuri agreed to have a child together to please their parents but didn’t mate. Yuuri and Victor still fall in love regardless but just with some obstacles

Another mpreg fic, where Yuuri opts to have a child on his own but gets caught up in a scandal, that involved the fertility clinic he used having non-consenting donors requested by high paying clients and unexpected mix up.

Some vague ideas that basically allude to Yuuri having dated other Skaters

A Yuuri Idol AU, where if JPOP was more like KPOP and over all less toxic than it is in real life. Yuuri is basically famous for both skating and being in an all male idol group, but somehow his fans have no idea that those two Katsuki Yuuri are one in the same.

Two Haikyuu x Prince of Stride crossovers with Hinata

First one is that Hinata is really fast because he used to do Volleyball and Stride with his older brother but then their parents divorced and split custody. Heath Hasekura is his older brother because Fujiwara and Yagami are the same age as him, and Kohinta is kind of obvious why not, but Heath’s one sister has red hair so it works. Cue reconciling family.

Second one, is that Hinata got pushed into competing with his middle school’s stride team and that all his former teammates go to Saisei academy and are apart of Galaxy Standard. Yukigaoka didn’t have a volleyball team because Hinata went to an Idol school where it lost interest because the students thought it was a violent/dangerous sport. He figures he’s completely done with stride until Stride association members try to contact him about the non-school organized stride event that automatically enters last year’s winners back into the yearly competition.

A fic where Iwaizumi and Hinata are step brothers.

I’m sure I had more Ideas but they’re apparently lost to time.

EDIT 6/17/20:  I remembered some more!

Kageyama fic where Aoba Johsai inadvertently finds out that Kageyama’s parent’s got divorced during middle school by visiting kitagawa daiichi and meeting his younger half brother. Kageyama has both half and step siblings because his parents had long term affairs before their divorce. He goes back and forth between two households and his bio parents ignore him and he’s very quiet and distant around his siblings.

 Hinata fic where he did have a volleyball team in middle school but they treated him like shit. They didn’t believe he could be a spiker and forced him to be a Libero. He gets injured in his second year of middle school and has to go through a ton of physical therapy, which is why later he is ‘bad’ at volleyball. But really he’s recovering and dealing with the trauma. Meet-up with old shitty team. (Note: I edited this and then went to go read fics and someone uploaded a similar fic like two days ago, I’ll still write this but man I’ve wanted it for two years and NOW someone is on the same wavelength, lol.)

Fic inspired by the fact that my school district’s policy let middle schoolers play high school level if they were considered to be varsity level: Hinata finds out about a policy that will allow him to join another school’s volleyball team, as long as their school doesn’t have a formal team and it’s approved by both schools. Essentially, Hinata trains with and ultimately officially joins Karasuno a couple years ahead. Timeline is a the year after the Small Giant graduates but a year before Daichi, Suga, and Asahi attend. Old Ukai teaches the first year then retires. People keep getting freaked out, thinking that Hinata might be older than them while looking really young but he’s not.

[medea10]

Medea’s Anime/Game Superlative of 2019

Well it’s that time of the year where I look back on the animes I’ve watched and the games I played with this outdated meme quiz from 10 years ago. But I still do it for the fun of it! As usual, it doesn’t matter what year the anime or game came out. If I messed with it this year, it counts for the honors. So if it came out two years ago (which feels like forever ago), it counts. Let’s get at it!

First Fandom of 2019: The Promised Neverland

Episode 1! That’s all you need to watch to officially get hooked to this series. I jumped on this title at the beginning of the year not knowing what to expect due to Aniplex and Crunchyroll whoring this particular anime months prior. But once I saw the first episode, I was immediately hooked. It shook me to my core to watch one of the most graphic scenes to come from this year. I was captivated by Emma, Norman, and Ray’s plans in order to escape their doomed fate of becoming food for creepy demons. Each episode, I was at the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen next. Is Gilda in cahoots with Sister Krone? Will Don learn the truth about what really happened to Connie in episode 1? Can Ray be trusted? IS NORMAN STILL ALIVE?! Come on, I’m like really far ahead in the manga. I want to see Norman and Emma together again. I’m so happy this series is getting a second season in 2020.

Favorite Main Character of 2019: Haru from My Roommate is a Cat

It was a close call this year for main characters and normally I don’t shoot for main characters. This year I will admit that I fell in love with Chika from Kaguya-sama. Plus, I still love me some Lana from Pokemon Sun/Moon! And I finally started part III of Jojo’s, so Grandpa Joestar is just the awesome OH MY GOD that I need. However, they all lose out to a cat! Yeah, just like that one year where I picked Nyanko-sensei as my favorite main character, I’m doing it again.

I know Haru can’t actually talk back to her human, but the audience can hear what she’s really saying and it’s absolutely amusing. She was funny when she thought the word “Haru” meant food. She’s so adorable when she’s playing with whatever catches her eye. She’s got quite the personality (almost tsundere even). But I gotta admire Haru too. Before she was adopted, Haru was on the street trying her best to look out for her younger siblings. Even giving them more food scraps when she would go hungry herself. After Haru was adopted by Subaru, she eventually warmed up to him as “her human”. It was a learning experience for both as Haru didn’t know how to react to having a human care for her and Subaru has never taken care of a cat before. But Haru is a loyal kitty who loves her human. Hell, she ran away from home because she feared her human collapsed somewhere. Haru’s the greatest!

Favorite Villain of 2019:

…

…Dear God, give me the strength to pull through this one.

Princess Malty “Myne, Bitch, Whore” Melromarc (The Rising of the Shield Hero)

No, this is not me insulting her. These are all her official names. Really! In many of the animes I watched this year, the villains were pretty hit-and-miss with me. I’m in the middle of watching the elven uprise with Black Clover and didn’t want to talk about that this year. Fairy Tail’s villains are just okay. And I didn’t watch Frieza this year! So let’s talk about the ONE villain who even out-trump’s the actual villain to the series.

It only took one episode for an entire fandom to turn on one single character. A single lie that figuratively speaking threw our main protagonist Naofumi under the bus, kicked him in the nuts, shanked him, robbed him, and thrown him off a cliff. Myne did so much throughout this series. She lied about being raped. She abused her power to get what she wanted. She set up someone to fail constantly. She attempted murder on her own sister (several times) just to keep her status as first in line to the throne. And she cheats so she gets her way! It was so sickening to watch this vile woman for more than just one episode. When you created a character who was so disgusting and revolting as a secondary villain, you did something right! It’s like with Shou Tucker and Father from Full Metal Alchemist. Ask any anime fan and they’ll definitely remember Tucker over Father. Myne is this anime’s Shou Tucker! And I have to give her some credit, she is now one memorable villain. And aren’t villains usually supposed to be despised? I, Naofumi, most characters in Shield Hero after episode 21, and all of the internet can come together in agreement to say, we hate Malty, Myne, Bitch, Whore.

Final insult on the matter, she’s a cunt!

Favorite Video Game Character(s) of 2019: Piers & Marnie (Pokemon: Sword and Shield)

I knew point blank that Marnie was going to be my favorite rival in this game. I knew I was going to enjoy the antics of her yell squad (a.k.a. Team Yell) too. But I never expected to meet her brother and enjoy him too. Like in more recent games, Pokemon has given your character a total of three rivals to look out for. And while Hop is just the British version of Hau and Bede is just…a fuck-face, Marnie was someone who marched to the beat of her own drum. She recognizes a powerful foe and has a level of respect for her rival. She has her own fanbase, but isn’t totally arrogant about it. Plus, she doesn’t mind helping you out and giving an extra boost in battle. Plus that smile scene is just too adorable for words. And then there’s Piers!

First of all, I just love the design of this guy. What did I say when I first laid eyes on him? It’s like if David Bowie, Marilyn Manson, and Sid Vicious threw up on a pentagram crafted from Hot Topic gear and this dude emerges! And much like his sister, he marches to the beat of his own drum. That’s why he’s the only gym leader in Galar that doesn’t use the Dynamax method. I would have been satisfied if I only got to see him once or twice in the game. But I was blessed when Piers came to my aid to take down the Marco Cosmos thugs AND take on all the rogue Dynamax pokemon in the post-game. I’m impressed! Out of all the people they picked to help the protagonist and Hop in this adventure, it was Piers. I am ever so happy by this. I am so heavily invested in this guy that I’m already thinking of fic ideas involving him.

Favorite Game of 2019: Pokemon Masters

As much as I really do love Pokemon Sword and Shield, I gotta give it to the mobile game this year. This game not only made one of my reoccurring dreams come true, but gave it something no other Pokemon game has been able to do in over twenty years. HUMAN VOICES! The trainers, they speak! AND YOU CAN CHANGE BETWEEN ENGLISH AND JAPANESE! Do you have any idea how much of a win this is for me! I know they’ll never have Tracey Sketchit in the game, but this still rocks my world. Do you know how much I love hearing Mamoru Miyano play a dickish bad guy? Do you know how badly I need to hear Daisuke Ono on a day-to-day basis? I’m a voice queen!

I know I don’t usually like to give praise to freemium games for the mobile phones, but this game is quite nice. I mean, yeah, you really do have to save up your gems in order to (hopefully) get the 5-star trainer that’s currently advertised and the urge of wanting to open up your wallet to actually purchase gems is tantalizing. Not as fucked as Fate/Grand Order, but you get my meaning. Unlike a lot of the freemium games, this one doesn’t limit you so much to play (unless you spend fake or real money in the game). You can super train all you want and not lose stamina! Plus, I like these special sync moves between trainer and pokemon. And there’s just something about seeing all of these different trainers from all these regions together and interacting with each other. Despite never seeing a lot of this in the anime, manga, or previous games.

Favorite Het Couple of 2019: Retsuko x Haida (Aggretsuko)

In one of my baby accomplishments this year, I stopped being a tight-wad and splurged on a Netflix account. Right around the same time it becomes unpopular. Hahaha! Why does this always happen to me?

Throughout the series, we’ve watched Retsuko take chances with a lot of guys including a charming polar bear, a red panda with the brain of a pot plant, and the world’s handsomest donkey. But Retsuko has friend-zoned her workmate Haida the whole time. Meanwhile, I and pretty much like 90% of the fanbase ship the fuck out of this. Rightfully so! Haida has been admiring her from afar for so long. He tries his best to be supportive of her in the office and elsewhere. He was even nice enough to run back to the office to try and help Retsuko with the last-minute paperwork thrown at her on Christmas Eve. Hell, we watched him at his best in the season two finale helping to corner Tadano. And even though she turned him down at the end of season one, I still hold out that there’s hope. I mean, it was right after a break-up, so it was kind of the right call for Retsuko to not go out with Haida. Season three could give us this ship in the end. I know Retsuko doesn’t see Haida as boyfriend material as of now, but I have a feeling it can change.

Favorite Yuri Couple of 2019: Atsuko “Akko” Kagari x Amanda O’Neill (Little Witch Academia)

That’s right, Akko and Amanda. This is the one Yuri ship I’m leaning on more than all the other ones. I know she wasn’t involved in the infamous love-bee episode, but that still didn’t stop me from making dirty jokes whenever these two girls were together for an episode. And that’s what makes it better! Akko and Amanda’s relationship wasn’t tampered with because of a love bee, what they have is real! Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. But whenever I see them together doing something in an episode, I can totally see them as something more. Then again, my mind is warped.

Besides, this is as close to a yuri couple as I got this year. I can’t mention the one second we got of Ymir x Historia from Attack on Titan. Yayoi and Shion didn’t get much in Psycho Pass 3. And it’s leaps and bounds better than that OTHER anime I watched with two girls. Happy Sugar Life? More like a big pile of nope!

Favorite Yaoi Couple of 2019: Mafuyu Satou x Ritsuka Uenoyama (Given)

You knew it was coming! I was rooting for these two boys since they met in episode one. And even though I had to hold it back a bit when I learned of Mafuyu’s grieving, I still hoped that one day, these two boys would defy the odds and become the sweetest couple of 2019. Was I correct? While it wasn’t as full-blown gay as Yuri on Ice, it still gave us so much.

As I mentioned, Mafuyu was in a relationship prior to meeting Uenoyama. And this one ended in heartbreak as Mafuyu’s lover dies. But meeting Uenoyama, Mafuyu was able to smile again and got to play the instrument his previous lover left behind. Mafuyu was able to shake off the sad shackles of the past and start life anew. Now is this feeling mutual? Of course! Uenoyama dealt with the worry of “will he, won’t he” and by the end of the series, the audience seems pretty satisfied with the outcome and hope for the best of these sweet boys.

Fandom That You Didn’t Expect To Get Into: Domestic Girlfriend

2019 has given me surprise amounts of incest! This year alone I wound up watching several surprise incest anime plots including Kiss x Sis, Marmalade Boy, and Eromanga Sensei. And those of you who are not on the up-take, surprise incest is primarily a love plot involving your step-sibling. But there was just something about Domestic Girlfriend that I just couldn’t shake. I couldn’t believe I binge-watched this entire series. I couldn’t believe I picked up the manga immediately after the finale. I couldn’t believe…that I didn’t despise this anime! Yeah, usually anything with even a whiff of incest, I throw in the trash and put a bullet through its head. This one, I did not.

Simple story! Boy named Natsuo fucks a random girl and also has a crush on his teacher. Natsuo’s father tells him he’s getting remarried. Then, BIG BOMBSHELL, the random girl that got fucked and his teacher are now going to be his step-sisters. Concept alone was just fifty shades of messed up. I mean, who the heck do you root for in this situation? Throughout the 12 episodes I went back and forth either rooting for Rui or Hina. And for episode, I rooted for Miu, the cute literary girl. I was so intrigued that I had to dig through the manga for more answers. But I enjoyed this trashy soap opera! I doubt it’ll get a sequel, but it was…fun for the most part. Too hot for television fun! And if that makes me trash, well call me Forky because...

Yeah, I can admit that freely now.

Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Fruits Basket

*squeals* I never thought this would come back into my life. One of my all-time favorite animes was returning with a reboot. AND IT WAS GLORIOUS! Oh sure, the first half of this series was literally a shot-for-shot remake of the original Studio Deen anime. But even that was enough to make me love every frame of it. Fruits Basket was just one of those animes that grabs you with the intriguing tale of a cursed family that changes into members of the zodiac. Then they take you on a fun ride with silly moments like Kyo and Yuki fighting each other or Ayame telling his ridiculous stories or Hatsuharu flashing some guy his junk. But then this series takes you on a detour of the most heart-wrenching stories involving heartbreak, bullying, gangs, abandonment, and hiding your true self.

This show re-introduced us to the many colorful and complex characters that exist. From the ultra-flaymboyant Ayame to the complex Ritsu! Many of these characters have severe baggage coming and going and you just wish the best for them. And seeing Tohru reach out to just about everyone in her own way, to tell them she’s there for them and she accepts them all for who they are, it just gets to you. 18 years was too long to keep this gem away from us. Welcome back Fruits Basket, we missed you.

Fandom That Inspired the Most Crack: Zombieland Saga

I know it came out last year, but I got the opportunity to finally watch it this year. And it was every bit of crazy as people told me it would be. Who would have thought mashing zombies and idol shows together would be a good idea?

Seriously! You’ve got Mamoru Miyano voicing the craziest character to date, who’s a necromancer who brings back seven girls from the dead. Puts special makeup on them to fool unsuspecting audience members! All to bring life back to the Saga prefecture. Add another layer to the WTF cake, these dead girls are all from different times including 2008, 1997, the showa period in the 1980’s…you even have one from the freakin’ 19th century! But that’s not all! These girls end up becoming an idol group singing different kinds of genres. One episode they’re head-banging to metal rock and the next IT’S A FRIGGIN’ 8 MILE RAP-BATTLE! And then you have this one girl named Yamada Tae. She doesn’t speak and usually makes weird noises throughout the entire series, but we don’t care! We freakin’ love her! And even with the oddball girl, she’s not the craziest character on here. Who needs a Best Girl category when you know the best girl is just going to be the crazy dude in the shades!

I’m absolutely cereal on this! Kotaro Tatsumi STOLE this show for his own! With his crazy antics, constant shouting random phrases every five seconds, and eccentric behavior, this made for one of the most entertaining animes I’ve ever watched.

Last Fandom of 2019: Pokemon: Sun & Moon/2019

I know I spent the greater part of Sun/Moon bashing several aspects of the series. But Sun/Moon was gradually getting better compared to its slow start. This year we’ve got some extreme character growth from some of Ash’s friends and even pokemon. I was amazed to watch episodes featuring Lana, Mallow, and even Sophocles growing. Lana up against Kyogre, Mallow’s thank you to her deceased mother, and Sophocles mastering Z-moves, all of these were great! Add to that, a Pokemon League that showed all of us up after 20 years of disbelief of Ash ever winning a competition. Where HE WON THE FUCKING COMPETITION! With the exception of one of the matches, this Pokemon League is definitely one for the history books for Ash. From his epic dog fight with Gladion, to the six-on-six with his mentor, to taking down a massive Ultra Beast, to taking on an island deity! All leading up to one of the most beautiful goodbyes and finale! Seriously, I screamed balls when I saw a pregnant Professor Burnet.

And my high continues with the new continuation of Pokemon 2019 (yeah, still the name). First of all, praise Arceus the animation has improved! Secondly, I am fully digging Ash and Gou traveling together. In answer to your question, yes I’m already shipping the hell out of them. Third, having these boys travel all around the pokemon world has given me so much hope in the world. The boys are going to be traveling the pokemon world revisitng old places including Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Kalos. I know I was disappointed in Ash not soley traveling to Galar and having Pikachu wear a Sherlock Holmes hat, but this I can’t cast to the side.

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And yes, I support Ash x Gou like a beast!