#can not control urself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chan--143 · 2 years ago

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#citrus [ manga ]#sex love #can not control urself

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celestie0 · 9 months ago

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kickoff ch10 this saturday (5/4) @ 1pm PST!!

HELLOOO i fucking finally finished ch10, just in the process of editing it rn

SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT oml but i hope it’s worth it :””) this next chapter is around 15k words holy jeebsus. it’s very rough draft rn haha the word count might change a bit during editing process, but we’ll see. it’s giving crack fic vibes too lmfaooo very diff from ch9

also just a warning gojo is extremely horny n sleazy in this next chapter🧍🏻‍♀️idk what tf happened lmfaooo i think he’s sick of all the edging i’ve been putting him through. i swear he will have lover boy status soon enough but for now hes just a hound dog lol my bad

this is literally kickoff gojo

#dude possessed me while i was writing again #smh #like can u control urself pls #n e who #kickoff

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lightbulb-warning · 6 months ago

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so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks™ or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently

#ive been running on “two cakes. u aren't BOTHERING people by putting art on their feed they can scroll past it/if they dont they get ”cake“”#and we love “cake”#“cake” is picture on the internet in this case #like okay the contracts and transaction format is a me problem!! i need to get rid of the “utilitarian brain worms” bc they're boring #this is supposed to be a hobby and the “get a good grade in hobby” wolf in the brain is just crying bc that's how they understand the world #the “get a good grade in x” wolf has valid pain but needs to stop controlling my life because they don't need to earn “enough value to live”#ect ect ect #and the life of minmaxxed utility is a life of trying to appeal to a “correct” that doesn't exist yaddi yadda = boring #i love you wolf. also shut up. affectionate. concerned. you get it #ok so we remove tangible purpose from act of experience art because THAT'S not “the point”#because “the point” is the joy killer eccetera ecc #but then what? “here check out this labor of love. i drew this fucker 15 times. no there's no story* there it's just a guy”#*story in this case being an emotional engagement/a situation/a context in which to ponder/other #so it's just a Draw. no further analysis. what do others Get from that?#i know i deeply enjoy art because im a fan of the process of People Making Stuff. i love when there was nothing but now there's something!!!#THAT'S what's it all about!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!! right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so it stands to reason that creation is purpose enough?? to be experienced???? to be known????????#idk!!#this is a nothing burger of a thought people have always liked picture on the internet stfu maiora there doesn't need to be a reason #this is just the brainworms talking!!! because god forbid “something not have a purpose”??? blegh!!!!!!!!#sounds like unhealthy rationalizing instead of letting things be out of The Fear™!!sounds like depraving urself from joy bc of BRAINWORMS!!!#so like!!!!! picture on the internet doesn't NEED inherent value. creation is enough!! (plus there's the Attachment to Character. also.)#but then why are YOU *points at you* here? gen q!!#i made an image you like and now you are reading my word babble in some tags!!! what's THAT all about???????????#it's INTERESTING!! do you see what im trying to get at??#is it empathy??? person made something other saw something other made- other2other connection???? intrigue????????#.......all this is probably explained in some book or yt essay somewhere. oh well.#in the meantime thank you for your time! we can pretend we were stuck in an elevator together and then i started rambling #i hope you have a great rest of your day thanks for stopping by!! <3 #maiora garrulates

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iraprince · 1 year ago

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Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

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dakotac0le · 1 month ago

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been thinking a lot about Dakota and autonomy and heroism lately

#he arts #dakota #So . It’s like the thing abt dakota and the Dr is that despite the medical malpractice . Despite everything . He doesn’t see it that way #And most people around him also don’t see it that way . In part I think beacuse his friends jsut want THIER friend to be #Alive and ok. And if that’s what it took to do that then ok. And then also there’s so little people !! In pd !! With normal senses of what #Autonomy is and control is because a lot of being a hero = needing to give that up. Cause u need to be able to put urself second or last #If u can save someoneelse. that’s part of the job description . So no one will ever really look at that much harder than maybe they should #But from dakotas pov i think that’s fascinating beacuse this event MASSIVLY Changed and shaped who he is . So jsut ! Idk it’s complicated #I think 21-22 are really intresting eps for that reason and to me it his descicion to go under surgery again despite obviously also being #Terrified of it but this time with William is jsut a really cool charcter desciion made and also to me always felt a bit like #Reclamation In a way I can’t fully explain. Like look here’s this thing that happend to me that I still haven’t fully processed #Here’s one way I can make myself into my own hero . Here’s how I can be someone who i needed when I was a kid #jrwi pd #SIGHSANYWYAS #idk if I should tag this as gore maybe !? Probaly #tw blood #Tw gore #<- I’d rather be safe than sorry idk if there’s a better tag I shoulda used but

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phinjeet · 3 days ago

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* i started 2 make a compilation of baljeet getting hurt and stuff hashtag baljeet abuse compilation bc idk . my dark twisted mind but ig mostly i just want 2 abzorb the “canon” baljeet “angst” so my made up shit iz also more accurate n stuff . tho i keep getting distracted grabbing other sillier clipz lol

#phinz wordz #yes . yes . yes i AM crazy abt it every day that he genuinely getz hurt like this all the time and no1 givez a fuck or worriez abt him ever #AT ALL #U R HIZ FRIENDZ !!!! HE IZ UR FRIEND !!!!!!#WHY DOEZ NO1 GIVE A FUCKKKKKKKK #So much untapped angst potential w baljeet if ppl fucking opened their eyez man #u r a vulnerable and nerdy kid whoz already a prime target 4 bullying #u dont hav any friendz except the 1z u had 2 leave behind in india only like a year or 2 ago #a bully pickz u az hiz ‘favorite’ victim and u r hurt and humiliated by him every day . ur personal space alwayz invaded #ur autonomy taken away like ur hiz plaything #but then u meet theze other kidz (maybe at school or maybe through him)#and theyre so Weird and chaotic and kind of intimidatingly cool but theyre also SO friendly and welcoming #they pull u away from the textbookz and summer classez uve buried urself in 4 a sense of normalcy and control #they show u incredible thingz they help u break out of ur shell they teach u so much #they rush 2 ur aid when u need help and u do the same 4 them even if itz scary #but through all of it u r still being hurt u r still bullied . and he iz ur friend and their friend 2 . ur friendz never speak up abt it #u r so LUCKY 2 hav landed in the friend group ur in . u hav the smartest most incredible friendz u couldve asked 4 #but somhow ur still alone . somhow they still dont rlly see u . not all of u at least . not the part thatz hurting #and wondering what itz done 2 dezerve it #a part that slowly eatz away at u cuz they wouldnt just ignore u on purpose right . but how can they b so oblivious az 2 not see it #maybe they all hav a reazon and they all know what it iz but no1z told u #u just accept w time that this iz normal . it must be . this must just b how it workz . 4 u at least #u cant risk asking any questionz . u cant risk what u have . but it hurtz it hurtz it hurtz it hurtz #u love them . seemingly they love u 2 so why r they hurting u . whatz wrong w u 2 make u dezerving of it #or smth idk . can u guyz guess who my favorite and least favorite pnf characterz r

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pbelfz · 16 days ago

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I’ve never really said this before, but if I see that you are a minor, I will be blocking you. 😊

#just a psa I suppose #it’s ultimately out of my control who gets ahold of my content #but for what I CAN control….#if ur a minor u better hope u never bring attention to urself

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stardial · 8 months ago

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so fucking funny that my dad (literally works with something that, supposedly, requires a good understanding of how ppl work) can’t help me move without having a mental break and yelling at me. whereas my mom who’s generally less social is able to get it done w me in a single day because she understands the basic concept of “if you are mad and mean at someone they will work less efficiently”

#but nooo the world is hard and mean and cold and i have to LEARN that.#anyways can you tell i’m glad i didn’t allow my dad to help me move out this year #sorry i just will never understand ppl who get mad when it would clearly just make the situation worse #and then they try to JUSTIFY it. like ok i understand it’s not always easy to control but like. don’t defend urself bestie #anger as an emotion. at least when it’s expressed in a genuinely mean spirited way. is so deeply unproductive #arambles #i think anger can be expressed in ways where it is actually important. but when your goal is clearly just to hurt the other person.#i think it’s genuinely idiotic sorry #like idk i’ll be mad at rama sometimes. becuase that’s what relationships are like. but i’d never want to HURT them #if i express anger it’s only to let them know they did somethign that upset me or whatever #sorry having lots of thoughts

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bellamygate · 4 months ago

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the thing that gets me abt religious ppl is they'll demand u respect their religion & that religion hating your existence but they won't respect ur right to be like yea my belief says god isn't real so thats a dumb reason for hating other people or ye ok then ur god is homophobic thats kinda shitty they go APESHIT like. it goes both ways? like they can say i hate gay ppl bc of my religion but when a gay person says well i dont respect that religion bc it doesnt respect me its ww3. I'm not walking on eggshells for people who are too quick to condemn me to hell

#likeeee. ppl have been homophobic to me bc 'their religion condemns it' but i cant be like ok well then fuck ur religion?#but they can say okay fuck you and be hateful and intolerant like that?#why do i tolerate u if u wont tolerate me? im just #like to me as an atheist/agnostic im like. hearing that something i dont even think is real is why u hate me as a person is so insane #like 'its unnatural and wrong bc my religion says so' like ok. why does that have to affect me as someone who doesnt follow said religion #jusr wish more religious ppl were as understanding and non judgemental as they claim they are??#like ur gna say that shit to me? u think god likes that ur speaking for him rn? u rly see urself on the same level as god?#u think YOU can judge others? embarrassing #*smacks own ass* this baby can fit so much religious trauma #i love religion sm for some ppl but then other aspects of it im like why cant yall just modify this as society progresses #them books old as hell them writers didn't even know electricity but ur talking their word abt an entire group of ppl being wrong & evil?#i like when religious ppl apply the teachings to modern society & take into account how shit has changed #when ppl take the good parts of religion and focus on them and bring that religious warmth w them where they go is so nice #(my friends<333)#like they live by them teachings and are good ppl but dc abt divorce or abortion or gays bc society has changed & ppl ultimately deserve #control of their own bodies and shouldnt have to be trapped in bad partnerships #& girls who love other women and dont agree w the typical 'woman serve men' that a lot of religious old folk got goin on #if u can modify some stuff in the religious books whats stopping u extending that grace to literal people just being who they are

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dukeofthomas · 7 months ago

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I will forever maintain that Jason would've been fine and Not a vigilante without Bruce making him Robin

#''bruce never recruited any kids for his mission/war'' falls apart immediately when u consider jason's backstory im ngl #jason todd #my dc posting #his whole character to me is breaking the conventions of the medium #batman #like i hate how ppl treat others like theyre ridiculous when they even dare to critique bruce in any way #i am capable of suspending my disbelief and accepting some things in fiction as okay even if they wouldnt be irl #its the viewers responsibility to meet stories whre theyre at #but its also the story's responsibility to upkeep that yknow?#''child/teen sidekicks are okay n not morally dubious'' okay :D yay :3 #then one of them gets brutally murdered by a villain and im like. yeah uhh no. cant do that anymore 👍sorry #''they all became vigilantes on their own bruce couldnt have stopped them'' yall under the impression bruce hates kid heroes n wants them #properly safe n is just doing damage control/harm prevention #when hes more the lines of encouraging them #difference between ''i cant stop u from doing this so ill make it as safe as i can'' and #''im actively going to encourage you to do this dangerous thing''#i have many opinions n im ngl theyre constantly shifting n they depend on a lot #im not gonna hate on lego batman for robin thats a goddamn childrens movie who tf gives a shit #comics are fair game tho. have u seen what gows on in there.#bruce couldve stopped jason from being a vigilante n instead encouraged him is the hill i will fucking die on #the victim blaming of jason has Got to stoppp its the worst thing ever #also just to remind everyone. ''a good soldier''.#wow a character blames themselves for the death of their child and to torture themselves they put the words 'good soldier' on their memorial #anyway if you even dare to think abt the implications ure stupid n #like do u hear urself whattt

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badnewswhatsleft · 24 days ago

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im kinda new to archiving stuff but i wanna save as many fob concert vids i can from tiktok, do you have any tips? should i save them to my laptop instead of my phone cause im a bit worried about storage space

ohhh !!! :o

hold on let me put a cut damn how did this post get kinda long lol

for storage yea basically i personally prefer using my laptop/desktop just because. i feel like it's so much easier to do things on there lol like i'm sorry but how does ANYONE organise their files on their phone or get ANYTHING done in a mobile browser these days😭

anyway. also cus memory is dirt cheap and you can easily hook up an external hard drive (from a reputable company…) to your laptop to store your archive. you can research if u want hdd or ssd but basically you won't rlly have to worry ab space that way. also backups are an excellent idea and you will never regret having one or several, let's put it that way

for the actual saving..i really think it depends on what your priorities are, so for me i get quite nitpicky and i'm usually looking to download in the highest quality and resolution i can get and without a watermark if possible (i just think they look gauche. LMAO)

these days i pretty much use open video downloader to download videos from almost anywhere and it's been working great so far. it seems to grab the best quality automatically, i like that it puts the original link in the metadata so you always have the source at hand, and it names the file with the caption (as much of it can fit anyway lol)

however im guessing you might want something more immediate so i think there are many sites that can download tiktoks for you, ive tried out cobalt and it's simple, great and speedy ! in my experience tho.. it doesn't always grab the highest resolution.. ?

(i literally just tested it now with a couple toks and it grabbed them at 1024p. even tho i got them nice and crisp at 1920p with ovd😅 hold on let me just. show the difference

zoom in on both screencaps and you'll see!!

i think this might be true of most online video downloading sites tbh but if anyone has any other recommendations pls sound off !!)

HOWEVER. if you dont care ab all that and just want as many vids asap so you can watch them in some form offline cobalt is a good option tho!

EDIT: turns out apparently you can change the download settings on cobalt so you can get hq!! play around with it and see if it gets you what you want!👍

#i totally forgot ab the us tiktok ban somehow. as in i literally was reading ab it and all and it still didnt like. hit me LOL #but yea without getting too into it i think ovd is basically like an easy to use interface for yt-dlp #so you dont gotta do command line stuff urself #i have tried pissing about with yt-dlp but like honestly . im dumb and someone's alrdy done the hard work on the app so i cba HAHA🙏#i first saw cobalt rec'd in a tumblr post actually and its neat for sure but doesnt give the control i like #i havent used cobalt for any other sites actually so might be worth testing it out for other stuff!! but ive come to rely on ovd basically #but i get too into like. details and preserving the quality etc lol so if you dgaf by all means get saving u know! its up to you :)#ALSO...... idk if this is obvious but determine your file naming system/organisation from the get go.#like when u KNOW what vid u wanna recall but all u can see are 100 files all named ''114576387568.mp4'' ur gonna kick urself LOOL #q&a

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diodellet · 9 months ago

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#it sucks being a simp and a whump writer bcs #i want to share in the love of my fave chara but #while i can deffo do keysmashes and delirious sentences smtimes i just #how do u stop urself from sounding like a deranged motherfucker #'i love this guy i just want to dunk him in a tub full of bugs'#(yes im talking ab a specific piece of fanart iykyk)#'yes i think he shud puke his guts out hed be so cute'#'he makes me feel so much i jus wanna beat him an inch from death'#LIKE UGH my impulse control can only do so much #have i ever mentioned that one of my first fic ideas for jamil involved rope?#anyway back to ur regularly scheduled programming #dellet-asides #edit: i am partly referring to limbus company sinclair. he inspires so much whump i want to subject him to the horrors.#hes so whumpable i wanna hurt him 🥺🥺#(thank god i dint end up a kalim stan i wud project so much of my whump brainworms onto him)

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gifti3 · 3 months ago

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so yea running servers isnt like a cheap thing is what ive been learning these past couple weeks