#LIKE UGH my impulse control can only do so much

[diodellet]

.

[friendofthecrows]

Wish I had more of that stereotypical "refined genius psychopath mystery villain" vibes and less "dysfunctional no sleep cycle can't tell when/if they have emotions traumatized mess doesn't feel like a human paranoid future true crime psychopath" vibes. So that was word salad. Moving on.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[quimichi]

TW: obsessive behavior, talk about self harm, death, gore, blood, corpses, choking, talk about you being dead, bleeding, bro there's so much - MDNI

SUMMARY: A twisted boy with a twisted mind and a twisted love just for you ♡

CHARACTERS: Yandere x F!Reader

WORD COUNT: 841

𓉸ྀི  Never EVER was Blake expecting to fall in love. At first sight too. He saw you and was instantly captured. My condolences, because with him in your life...it'll be turned upside down

𓉸ྀི You're his newest, recent hyperfixation, or better, obsession. Recent? Well, since he ever saw and read this short story in the internet, about death, killing, blood and guts, he was forever obsessed with it. Especially the graphic pictures that we're added for the "realism'. You see, one click on a link and a wrong turn can lead you down a dark alley filled with the darkest mysteries hold by internet. Hidden from those who would never dare step that far into an alley like this. Bit inviting and interesting to those curious enough to take a look...and forever be captivated.

𓉸ྀི with 12 year's old, exactly that happened. This weird 'dare' and a link went around school and of course 12 year olds are gonna jump on it like hungry wolves. His friend send him the link, he was dared to open it and take a look, but was to scared. So he send Blake the link also, so they can both take a look. Shared fear is only half the fear, right?

𓉸ྀི While his friend was throwinh up beside his bed, he kept scrolling. And scrolling...and scrolling. Weird...this doesn't affect him, at least not like his friend. Or how he thought it would. Everyone kept saying its gross, creepy and...twisted. Its odd that he, likes it.

𓉸ྀི His friend claimed he suddenly felt sick, so his mother picked him up. None of them wanted to raise suspicion of course...But the whole night long, Blake kept looking at the pictures over and over again, he read the story multiple times. He probably still knows it all word for word till this day. But what really captured his interest was that woman, how she looked in her own blood bath. Her guts hanging out, everywhere but inside her. Is this real? No it can't be right? No one would ever...

𓉸ྀི when he saw you, he saw that woman. You both look so similar. Maybe the eye color is a bit off, yours are a tiny bit darker but thats ok, you look just like her! Damn, even the hair!...he can't help but wonder if you would...no that's an unhealthy thought

𓉸ྀི he's 18 now, and for 5 years he was in the dark web looking for stories, pictures and videos like this to feed his constant hunger and need for more blood and gore. But he still knows, murder is wrong. But knowing is something else than doing. They both can go hand in hand, the only thing that's holding them both away from each other is the wall called self control.

𓉸ྀི He does have this wall, it just has multiple holes in it. Blake was no stranger to act on his impulsive thoughts. He cuts his arms sometimes when he wants to feel the pain or see the blood. He even tried the 'save way of cutting your wrist', the thrill of almost dying did send him over the edge....The research did help of course. He even tried choking himself, but that does not really do much for him unfortunately, there's nothing hot to it besides the bruises he left on his neck.

𓉸ྀི But right now the wall he trained to stand against the army of his running thoughts is about to crumble by just looking at you. You'd look so great in red, a deep dark red surrounding you...oozing out of y-no-! This is wrong-! He knows you're so so much more than a body, than a corpse. You have personality...damn you really look like you have a great personality.

𓉸ྀི...w-wait-you looked his way-! WHY ARE YOU SMILING AT HIM-! Was he looking at you this entire time?? Ugh, hes such a creep-! Yes, he knows he's one but he doesn't have to act like one to make it obvious- He's so weird, he doesn't deserve you, he would NEVER deserve you. The only thing that deserves him would be the maggots and the mould, eating his decomposed cadaver.

𓉸ྀི If it's not him, than it's definitely your smile that killed him right there and now, on spot. He's disgusting why are you looking like him. Why do you show interest. Why is he smiling back. And why does he really feel the need to hold you in his arms, and kiss you. A kiss that would probably be the beginning of cannibalism. Drag his mouth and theeth across your chest to taste your beating heart...if he thinks like this then living can be beautiful, and so are living things. I mean...you are most definitely beautiful. And you're alive.

𓉸ྀི But you'd be just as pretty dead, rotting and overcome with mould, having flys around you while your body drys out and sinks....but yeah you're maybe even a tiny bit more beautiful alive. (Much more but he can't say it just yet)

TAGLIST: @lucienbarkbark @hehothrowawayfae

[hamiltonaf]

Summer Break(Up) | Mason Mount

Pairing: Mason Mount x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.2K

Warnings: Angst to fluff

A/N: Had this in my drafts for quite a while, about time that I posted it. Hope you babes enjoy. Requests are open .xx

Today felt like the first time in a long time that I got ready to go out, that too on a date. Never thought I would be doing this but deep down I know it's exactly what I need to do to get my mind off things and finally move on. It hurts to move on when you still love someone, but you know what they say... love hurts.

Its been almost a month now since Mason and I broke up right after the summer break. We had a pretty dreamy and amazing summer break - or so I thought - I guess only one of us felt that way.

We had just arrived back in England and Mason was acting off the entire day. I knew something was playing on his mind that was bothering him and had him agitated... the last thing I expected was a break up being a good idea.

He distinctly did it just before I was flying back home, the perfect excuse to not see the pain on my face when he breaks the news to me.

Its as if his words had haunted me, they continue to play on my mind till this day.

FLASHBACK

"(Y/N) I hate to break it to you...ugh but I'm just going to be straight forward about it" he paused in between words watching my reaction. "Well ?" I asked raising a brow. "We need to break up" he said as he finally met my eyes. "Is this a joke ?" I asked raising my brows. "No it's not (Y/N)" he sighed. "And what's the reason that you want to break up ?" I asked calmly. "I just.. I want to just focus on football" he said as he lowered his head to play with his fingers.

"Ohh the typical excuse" I half laughed. "What do you mean excuse ? I'm being serious" he said as he started to grow annoyed. "All of you guys are the same. It's always 'I'm focusing on my career' and then boom you rock up with a new girlfriend after a while. If you have someone else in the picture then just say it !" I said growing frustrated, I let my impulsive thoughts take over. "What the- no ! If you're saying I'm cheating on you, I would never !" He said defensively.

"So then what's the need to break up ? Am I too distracting for you ? I can easily be out of your way whilst still being your girlfriend so I don't see the issue ?" I said whilst raising my voice. He kept quiet after my valid point. "I get it now. The silence speaks for itself. No point in me fighting for a relationship that doesn't exist anymore" I said as I walked over to grab my bags. "(Y/N) I'm sorry" he said lowly. "Don't be. Best of luck this season" I said lastly and walked out with my bags earlier than planned. It was only then when I was alone that the tears spilled and I couldn't control them. With my vision blurred I don't even know how I managed to arrange transport to the airport - I guess at that point I just wanted to get away from there and from Mason.

END OF FLASHBACK

I would be lying if I said that I didn't check on Mason’s instagram. I mean nothing is wrong in that since we both still follow each other and we didn't make the break up public. I mean we still had each others pictures up but it wasn't good enough to camouflage people into thinking we were still together. The fans are 10 steps ahead of us and pretty much cracked that we did breakup and when the breakup happened.

I guess it's my fault that I didn't post to show my support for Mason whilst I was away. Joke. Oh well who cares... we couldn't hide it forever and these things happen.

It's all because of (Y/BF/N) I'm rushing to get ready, she just had to open her mouth and set me up with her boyfriend's friend. All I know is that his name is Ethan.

Whilst I was doing my hair I thought why not go live on instagram and do a get ready with me since I didn't do one in ages and besides that, I was feeling bold. As soon as I went live, my views went from 10 to over 5000 within a few minutes. "Hi there for all those joining ! I'm currently getting ready to go out so I thought why not chat with you guys in the mean time" I said as I skimmed through the comments. "Where are you going ?" I read out the comment. "Well, I'm going on a date" I smiled. "Why weren't you at the last match ? We missed you !" I read out the next comment.

"Aww sorry about that..I've just been so busy with studying that I had to sacrifice a match to finish up my work" I pouted. After those questions, I did my makeup and explained each product that I used. With a final spritz of setting spray and perfume, I shook my fingers through my hair and revealed my full look for the evening.

"That's it guys ! Hope you guys found this entertaining. Thank you to every one of you for sending in questions and sorry if I didn't get through to everyone. I swear I'll try to do more of these in future" I said as I skimmed through the comments one last time. Many of them said 'Mase in chat'. "I'm seeing a lot of Mase in chat comments. Did I miss something ?" I raised a brow. My body froze when I saw his comment '😍😍😍'.

"Ohhh Mason is here !" I wanted to roll my eyes on camera but I couldn't. "Anywho guys I'm running late. Love you guys and hope you all have an amazing evening. Wish me luck. Ciao !" I said lastly before throwing a kiss at the camera. The live ended and I rushed to grab my purse. I was in a rush only because I was driving tonight, Ethan had offered, but just in case things didn't go well then I can easily make an excuse to leave early if needed. As I jumped in the car my phone started ringing through the Bluetooth, thinking it's Ethan I answered the call. "Hey ! I'm so sorry I'm running late..I'm on my way right now" I said as I drove out of my driveway. "(Y/N)" haven't heard that in a while, he paused before saying "It's Mason."

I looked at my phone and mumbled "shit". "Guess I'm not the person you want to talk to right now" he chuckled. "What do you want Mase ?" I rolled my eyes. "I uhm saw your live and I'm around so I was hoping I'd see you to catch up" he suggested. "Of course you thought that...Mason we've been broken up for almost a whole month, you didn't care to talk to me since that day and suddenly because you saw me get ready for a date you thought that now is a good time to come back into my life ?" I asked.

There was a pause before he spoke up again. "Don't go on that date" he softly said. "Why?" I asked, waiting for his valid reason. "You know why" he said. "No, Mason, I don't. Say it" I was getting frustrated that I actually pulled over to the side to have this conversation. "I can't get you out of my mind !" He admitted. I stayed silent for him to go on. "As much as I tried to focus on football, the days that I was off all I could think about is spending my free time with you. I missed your laugh, your smile, your cuddles and your kisses, especially after a bad day. I miss everything about you" he said defeated. "Mount, why are you telling me all of this now ? It took you a whole month to realise that or are you just jealous that I moved on and you didn't ?" I questioned.

He sighed, "I just felt terrible since the last time we were together. I wanted to give you space and I assumed you hated me so much that we'd never get back together after that." "Hmm...okay" I said casually. "Soo are you coming back home because I'm waiting outside ?" He asked hopeful. "Wait what ?" I asked flabbergasted. He wasn't joking. "I'm literally outside your house, no joke" he said. "What the- Mason. I- I'm literally speechless" I had a million thoughts running through my head. What do I do ?

"Come home so we can talk please" he said. Why do I feel the need to go back home ? "Your timing is literally the worst. I need to call Ethan and see if he's -" I was cut off. "Who the fuck is Ethan ?" He asked as he got protective. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "My date" I said plainly. "Do I know him ?" He asked. "None of your business. Anyways I'll call you back. Bye" I ended the call just as he called my name. I noticed that Ethan sent a message a few minutes ago saying that he was going to be running late. I felt terrible to do this but I have unfinished business with Mason. I messaged Ethan to apologise that I won't make it tonight as I had a family emergency and if we could rather rain check. I made a u-turn back home and luckily Ethan was understanding, and replied saying that he hopes everything is okay and hopefully we'll meet soon. Aww bless him.

Just as I got home I noticed Mason’s car parked on the driveway. I parked beside him and jumped out as he followed. He whistled as he looked at me from head to toe. "Darling, you look breathtaking" he said as he walked closer to me. He greeted me by kissing both of my cheeks. "Thank you" I softly said as he then surprised me by handing over a massive bouquet of red roses. My facial expression changed, "What's all of this for ?" "Just to makeup for the lost time in this past month" he said. "Aww" I cooed.

I then unlocked the door and went inside with Mason following behind me. "Soo what happened to that guy ?" He asked. "He was running late so I said we can rain check for another day" I shrugged. "You're still going to go on a date with him ?" He asked, low-key feeling betrayed. "Mason can you just forget about Ethan and focus on the reason why we're here after a whole month" I said as we both took a seat beside each other on the couch. He sighed before speaking up, "You asked me earlier why now and I ignored your question. Whilst we were broken up I would see your posts and stories, especially when (Y/BF/N) would post with you. You always looked so happy and looked like you're living your best life without me. I thought to myself that you seemed happier without me" he said as he laid his head onto the couch and turned to look at me.

"You really thought I looked happier without you ?" I raised a brow curiously. "Yeah ! So many little things reminded me of you - like someone cracking a joke or laughing, I'd think that's something you would say" he smiled. I smiled back, 

"It hurts..." he said seriously. "What?" I asked as I furrowed my brows. "Loving someone who doesn't love you..." he said softly. I half laughed. "What's so funny ?" He asked worried. "That's exactly what I thought the day I left. I thought our relationship was one sided the whole time" I pursed my lips. "What ! No no no. I never stop loving you okay ? Please don't forget that. I was hoping to at least be friends that time I broke the news but things turned south" he pressed his lips together.

"Bold of you to assume that 2 people who are in love with each other can be friends" I said as I laid back as well and turned to face him. "Wait so you still love me ?" He asked in shock as he sat up right. "Unfortunately yes" I sighed. He had a cheeky grin on his face. "I'm sorry for being selfish and stupid. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm also so sorry for all the pain I caused you, you didn't deserve any of that. Please find it in your heart to forgive me and be my girlfriend again" he smiled. "Hmm let me think...okay" I shrugged. "So am I forgiven ?" He asked excited. "Yes, yes you are" I smiled. He brushed a strand away from my face and cupped my cheeks. His eyes looked between mine and my lips. "Can I ?" He asked softly. I nodded my head as he connected his lips with mine.

[sugar-omi]

TRANS MASC COVE TRANS MASC COVE (sfw +nsfw hcs pls,, id love your thoughts)

NO BC NOW YOU'VE PUT THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD N I NEED HIM DESPERATELY eta while im in the middle of writing: after this i... i can no longer hold onto my fem!cove thoughts. n i am eating up trans!cove like a starving ANIMAL.

tags : SFW + NSFW, transmasc (ftm) cove, switch cove/reader, some mentions of body/gender dysmorphia, im sure theres 1 transphobe walking around sunset bird so the smallest mention of that clown

SFW

i've been seeing a lotta top surgery scar tattoos on my twt timeline lately, and pls some of them i need for myself bc they're so!!!! pretty!!!!

so i can definitely see him getting tattoos there

not because he wants to cover em up, i just think he sees so many flash sheets over time that he's SOLD

mmm i wanna say that fem/afab!cove would have small boobs

or B cups at most

either way, i almost wanna say that his boobs before surgery wouldn't bother him as much unless someone was sexualizing him or he was exercising n his boobs were bouncing too much or smth like that

even then its usually complaints of, "ugh, this bra isn't supportive..." or something like that

ofc he still has his moments

i also think he only binds sometimes, rarely

doesn't do it often since it's often hot outside, or especially if he's sporty, its uncomfortable

(also looked it up just to be sure) but since he's always on the beach its inconvenient/unnecessary to wear if he can't wear it in the water

but like i said i think he'd be pretty flat/small anyway, so i think he's okay

mm definitely doesn't give up having long hair, or wearing the occasional dress/skirt ofc

but will correct one of the old sunset bird residents if they try and say "see honey, it was a phase, you're wearing a dress today!"

also idk abt yall, n this is more of a general thought, but i feel like step 2 cove's impulse control is. deathly low.

so one day, he has long/long-ish hair

and the next he has a mullet, wolf cut, or buzz cut.

he's so chaotic to me pls

now i've had fem!cove on my mind for weekssss now

so i'm not just saying this

but cove is still buff

thick muscly thighs, NICE ARMS. REALLY NICE ARMS

mm so i feel like he looks pretty androgynous or masc anyway

now im projecting here.

but cove has irregular periods, n they're pretty heavy most the time

or lasts awhile (ok im done projecting. sorry cove</3)

also think he deals with cramps (IM SORRY COVE)

i think his period is the biggest trigger of his body/gender dysmorphia too

although i think fem!cove would hate her period anyway altho tbf who doesnt

he'd definitely appreciate some comfort!!!

bring him another heating pad, your comfiest hoodie or blanket and snacks

he's very happy for the thoughtfulness and the company

step 2 cove would definitely be moved by such thoughtfulness... he's in tears

so after the first time it's a trend to spend time together in his bed, watching movies or something while he's cuddled into your side or next to you in a cove-rrito, all sleepy n comfy...

NSFW

had to stop writing the SFW to write this bc i had a thought

cove laid out all pretty... his chest rising and falling and he's all teary eyed as you're between his legs, eating his cunt until he's seeing stars.

pls his cunt with be so sensitive, and he'd be so pretty to fuck

would shake so much too

his thighs quivering so bad he clamps around your hand

you'd have to hold his legs up so he doesn't nearly flatten your head between his thick thighs

"y/n!" cove cries, his hands tangled in your hair and he's trying so hard not to squish your head between his thighs, but your tongue is flat against his sensitive clit, sucking and bullying the poor button while your fingers make a loud, sloppy mess of his hole.

he whines, hips shaking in your hands.

you tighten your grip on his waist, your fingers digging into the flesh, grumbling irritably around his clit but cove just cries out a loud moan and slurred word, torn between your name, a cuss word, and a cry for god.

you pull of his clit, your fingers still curling against that spongy spot inside his sloppy walls. "stay still, you're gonna crush my head..." you start to kiss his thighs, small kisses turning into you sucking deep hickeys into his tan skin, and that turning into biting.

cove gasps for air, his eyes fluttering closed as he squirms.

"fuck, y/n, please..." he mumbles, tugging at the bedsheets.

you stop the assault on his thighs, leaning up on your elbows so you can give cove a kiss, your lips lazily moving together...

anyway... horny aside for a moment<333

mm i could see cove not getting or really wanting bottom surgery

i think trans cove would be pretty comfortable with his body's appearance overall

and he's probably read into it a lot since it's not like he hasn't thought about it, i could just see him probably deciding its not something he wants

ARGGHH HE'D BE A DEMON WITH THE STRAP THOUGH

ahh. cove holding you down or folding your legs against your chest while he slams his hips against yours...

his strap hitting your poor prostate / cervix, he'd coo about how cute your whines are and that you're making him leak

would definitely upset he can't fill you up w cum

especially if you wanna get pregnant, rambles about how much he wishes he could fill you up with his cum again and again and again...

arghhh fuck imma lose my MIND

definitely takes advantage of those squirting dildos

can at least admire how you look oozing milky lube

omfg definitely wakes up all excited to tell you if he dreamed about it too...

has an array of straps

we already know he has a tentacle dildo or two deep in his closet...

yeah tries them out on you

"don't get tired yet, i have one more.. and it has a knot!!!"

he just likes to experiment on you a little~~ bit <333

ohh please tell him he looks handsome/sexy while you're giving him head

he'll die.

FUCK HE'D GO CRAZY IF YOU RIDE HIM TOO I KNOW IT

yeah he's still the same cute, secretly horny, big crybaby pookie <3333 i love him pls

[ofallthingsnasty]

Urrrgg im such a wuss about physical pain but something about punctured wounds specifically makes me scared more than cuts or bruises. I think it’s something about the “intrusion” that a sharp object does when it stabs you that it doesn’t do when merely cutting you

Suffice to say Crocodile even threatening to give me a “piercing” will scare me into submission. Suddenly I’m throwing out my escape plans because I do not want to be hurt like that 😓 Sir you can spank me however you want but PLS don’t put that hook anywhere near my face

oh goodness anon, you're way too cute 😭💕 he would never ever hurt you because i say so.... but this also made me think...

tw. yandere, violence, a little over-the-top gore (facial), references this post

Now that you mention it - there are two ways he could harm you with his hook in that specific scenario, one more planned and one more impulsive. (To pierce your tongue, he’d need a forceps or at the very least a very steady hand or else he’s going not only cut into your tongue but the floor of your mouth as well - which could lead to severe bleeding and neurological damage, oh my. Your cheeks are a different story - he might still injure a tiny branch of the facial nerve but you’re not going to lose some motor functions.) 

But to be honest - if he does this to you, it’s going to be entirely impulsive because he’d have to be exceptionally mad. Angry beyond belief or reason, so precision and thought aren’t going to be present. (Even if I really want him to get my tongue, ugh 😔) He isn’t even going to threaten it, he’ll just launch forward like a man possessed and puncture your cheek, force his hook through the fat of your face until he hits your teeth, just lashing out, just senselessly hurting you to shut you and your horrid mouth up.  And god help you if you react on instinct and pull away, because that is going to net you an open cheek and a nasty scar.

Will he feel guilty just moments later, as rare as that emotion is for him? Yes. Will it stop your incessant  babbling and shock you into submission? Also yes. Like you said, I can only see this happening once, maybe twice? You’d have to do something so outrageous and disrespectful and keep at it to get this rather calm man to that point - but it’s achievable and a serious escape attempt could do it.  But you being feisty plays a big part in this - because if you aren’t (if you grovel and cry and beg for forgiveness, kiss his feet to soothe that anger, worship him like you’re supposed to), he won’t end up that mad. You’re still going to regret it, no doubt, but he has this pesky little soft spot for you that, if pressed, can mellow him out rather quickly. It really depends on you and your actions.

But if it happens? If the meat of your right cheek suddenly loses tension and flaps around because his hook is too big to control and you instinctively pulled back, away from the pain, the hurt? All that anger is going to evaporate in an instant. He just needs to see your stunned face, pain barely registering because of the adrenaline that is running through you, just needs to see all that exposed fat and muscle to immediately regret it. It’s a grotesque sight; yellow, pink, stark red mixing as your teeth gnash in horror and your thoughts are going a mile a minute trying to register what just happened. Of course, he wastes no time and takes you in for the best care he can find in that moment, intent on keeping both the functional and aesthetic damage to a minimum - but his hook is big and brutish and the wound leaves you with a gnarly scar, no matter how skilled the hands of your surgeon are.

When it’s all said and done, he’ll still feel that little pang of guilt from time to time when he traces the scar with his thumb - but it’s more that feeling of regret a little boy gets when he scratches up a brand new toy, that disappointment that it isn’t shiny and new anymore and not genuine remorse because he inflicted so much pain on you. He can’t feel bad about it for too long when he remembers that you see what disobedience gets you every time you look into the mirror. It might have marred your looks - but it has made you so wonderfully pliant as well, has earned him your respect. 

[princelylove]

Thank you your highness for answering all my questions on ranking yandere Joestar and Jobros. This time, can I ask for the Jofoe too? I can't rank them myself because all of them are so dangerous, I seriously see all of them have equal rank.

I'd love to hear your opinion on this, please enlighten me with your knowledge my prince ~

~ 🏵️ anon ~

I just realized I forgot funny valentine. That's on me. Oops. I don't know, have you considered just... not being american? Super easy to avoid him just get on a boat and don't come back. Kidding, I'll write something serious for him later on. They're all bad, but a general easiest to hardest:

Doppio is a hard worker. He devotes a good chunk of his time to carrying out orders for the boss, he doesn’t really have time for a darling, but… Boss will allow him to have a crush. It’s a little treat. As long as Doppio keeps his distance, it’s harmless. He spends his weekends following his darling around- he asks Diavolo to look into you for a little reward. He does well on a couple of jobs in a row? Here’s your favorite color, and what you wear for pajamas most nights. Doppio has a lot of self control, he’s not going to cave just because you’re gorgeous and he has some free time. He’ll keep his distance until Diavolo gives him permission to engage- which he won’t be receiving any time soon. Doppio’s darling- I feel as if  “crush” is significantly more appropriate- likely won’t know that they have a secret admirer who already knows every little detail about their life until it’s time for Doppio to receive a proper present. Maybe for Christmas Diavolo will let him bump into you in the street. 

Yoshikage Kira is safe if he’s obsessed enough. He’s a bit impulsive with collecting his girlfriends, but he doesn’t like you for your hands. He likes you, as a whole. Ugh. That’s so annoying. He doesn’t want to have a real partner- do you know how much effort it is to have one of those and keep up his streak of roughly fifteen years of killing? He’s not going to just let his little habit go, but… maybe you’re fine with him having something on the side, to hold himself over. Maybe. He’d have to ask after pursuing you normally, and if you say no, or Kira decides not to ask at all since ‘hey that’s weird and we’re trying to be as normal as possible here’… well. He’s been lying this long. Might as well add another to the lie bin.  Since he wants to be as normal as possible, he doesn’t express any of his yandere tendencies until much later on- and he can be satiated if you play into his fetishes and preferences enough. 

DIO has matured a lot in his life, surprisingly. He’s not going to kill off his darling just because he’s in a mood. He’ll do it for a proper reason. You’ll have warnings. You’ll have easy, simple rules established very early on in knowing him. Really, are you trying to provoke him into punishing you? Simply ask if that’s what you want. He spoils you so, doesn’t he. DIO cares a lot about his darling actually wanting him- if he’s forcing it, it ruins the experience. He understands you need to have a proper relationship with him, complete devotion won’t happen in a day. Make no mistake, you will be his, he’s just fine going slowly. He’s certainly got the time for it, and it’s not like he’s holding you captive. No, no, never captive. Possibly if he snaps because you keep outright rejecting him and it’s really setting his abandonment issues off. He’ll just send a little toy to keep you company when you feel the need to go on a little outing. Vanilla Ice will hold your bags for you, or maybe Mariah can show you around. If neither of them are someone you want to socialize with, he has options. Lots of options. 

Enrico cares less about you having a choice. To him, he knows better, and is often frustrated with your judgement. Please listen to his advice- he’s only here to provide you with the resources you need to flourish. If Enrico has no problem talking to DIO as his equal, then he certainly has no problem telling his darling ‘no’ directly. He recommends passages in the bible to read that directly coincide with what’s going on in your life- You often find little handwritten notes in your cell on your desk. The first time it happened, there was a bible sitting on your bed, with a note being used as a bookmark. It was between the pages of Isaiah- stuck in the pages about sin and confessions. It makes you gag how neat and proper his handwriting is, “My doors are always open for you.” When you don’t come, he leaves another note, with a page and paragraph you’re supposed to read before whatever it is he has to say. If the slightly passive aggressive notes don’t reach you, perhaps a more personal approach is needed. 

Dio in his youth is… unstable. He hasn’t learned that patience is king. He knows what he wants, and he’s going to get it now. Denying him is the stupidest move you could possibly make, he has all of this newfound power and confidence and isn’t going to waste it by letting you just get away. You may scurry off if he frightens you too much, he does love the chase. He just can’t help himself when he catches you- you look good trapped under him, he needs a little reward. It’s not going to hurt, it’s just a small bite… Have fun with a chunk of your neck missing because little dio got excited and couldn’t help biting as hard as he could. 

Diavolo is a classic creep. He’s a bit repressed. Over a decade of restraint will do that to you, but Diavolo doesn’t realize that touching himself to the cameras he placed in your room and the places you frequent isn’t going to satisfy him entirely. Maybe Doppio can spell it out for him- he should indulge! Live a little! The last time he ‘lived a little’ he made the worst mistake someone in his position could possibly make, but hey. He was young, you can’t really fault him for that. Diavolo monitors you as if it’s part of his job- there’s absolutely nothing he doesn’t know about. Your other suitors are taken care of by la squadra esecuzioni, they have a bit of a running joke that they’re praying for you to get around a bit more, easy jobs are welcome when the boss works them like dogs. Diavolo is happy to watch you, he keeps a tab open of whatever you’re doing while he works. Indulges by having Doppio follow you on your errands, lightly suggesting he should record. You often receive expensive gifts from a ‘secret admirer,’ with typed notes attached. It’s only a matter of time until that isn’t enough to hold him over, and he sends someone to collect you. No, now that he’s thinking about it… No one will treat you as well as he would, it’s better not to leave you to the hands of someone just doing a job. Diavolo fully intends to love you, and won’t take a ‘no’ once he’s broken his streak of self control. 

Kars did not always want a mate. He’s not really the romantic type, or someone who clings to sentiment, but there’s just something so adorable about you. He loves life, although he normally isn’t fond of humans. He loves seeing the life in your eyes, the way your chest moves up and down in fear as he gets closer… He’s salivating at the thought. Kars tells himself he wants a pet at first- he already has a sizable family. He has a son figure, he has a… He’d call Santana a pet, really, he has someone his age to socialize with… He supposes he could use a mate. Kars hasn’t had one of those since he was just a little one, and it’s not really something he missed. When you express that you don’t want to bow down and give everything up for him, Kars is more than confused. You must be making a joke- he’s heard of humans telling obvious lies for humor. How amusing. Now, come when you’re called, or he’ll send Santana to retrieve you. He prompts you often, but you can tell he doesn’t really care about the answer. You bore him sometimes with your ‘Please don’t hurt me’ and your ‘Please, please, let me go’ nonsense, how could he be expected to always find it fun? Your resistance only amuses him when you do something about it. Good, you’re running. Kars would love to play chase with you. 

[walkingstackofbooks]

DS9 5x07 Let He Who Is Without Sin thoughts (I’m re-watching, so beware spoilers for future episodes!) [14 Sept ‘23]

Odo and Sisko ribbing Jadzia about her sex life XD

It's so cute that Worf still calls her "Commander" around others.

Hmmm, I was firmly against Worf last time - and I still don't like his whole thing against Boday - but also Jadzia is pretty disrespectful to what he wants, immediately telling people after Worf says it's a private matter.

"Have you ever noticed all the stars look the same?" I love Leeta so much, I can't wait to see more of her when she and Rom pick up.

"What's jamaharon?" "I'll show you later." XD that look!

Their "casual" outfits! Oh, 90s fashion crimes... I miss you

"Aren't you uncomfortable in your uniform?" I mean uniforms and not having to decide what to wear are The Best. (And also I am very much on the autistic Worf headcanon and can imagine uniform gives him a sense of comfort in a very uncomfortable environment.)

Worf! That was Very Romantic! I did not expect you to compare Jadzia to a nebula, ngl.

As much as I think Jadzia should be allowed to reconnect with a friend without Worf's jealousy, she's also not very considerate of his feelings. Blagh.

I actually kind of like this episode more now that I'm not just anti-Worf? I do wish Jadzia was allowed to just be the single, flirtatious woman - or polyamorous, flirtatious woman - she was meant to be, though.

Worf's scowl upon finding his "bathing suit" is Very Justified.

Worf's dumbfoundment at Leeta not being with Dr Bashir is hilarious. I do still like messing with his sense of what is "right" and "wrong".

Ugh, this man wants to paint himself as a "victim", doesn't he... "I can only imagine what you must think of me." Yeah, no, it's not that people hate you because you know some secret "truth" they don't want to hear, but because you're an awful, paternalistic, condescending killjoy.

"I may be wrong, but didn't he just insult us?" I love Julian.

Boy, do I want Jadzia or Julian to stand up and speak about their experiences with the Klingons or Dominion that he couldn't begin to understand.

"You two dishonour each other with your actions!" "You mean... We didn't tell you why we came here." Actually hilarious, Julian, how?

"I hope we proved our point." You wouldn't have if Worf hadn't stopped Jadzia attacking back, you'd be on the ground.

"I did not say you were doing anything wrong. It's just that some of your behaviour-" Aghhhh, I actually hate understanding Worf because this speech is awful but also it's coming out wrong. What he *wants* to say is he's feeling hurt by her disregard for his feelings but he can't put it like that.

And what he actually says IS awful - "At times, your are too impulsive. You act without thinking. You have no self-control." - because HE'S just as impulsive as her, and in ways that have actually hurt him and Starfleet - look back to his trial!! His fight with the Jem-Hadar when working together on the Defiant! He cannot stay himself when it is his Klingon pride at stake.

And Jadzia is rightfully hurt by these words, and how Worf has generally been acting, because if he meant it the way it sounds it would really not be great of him! I hated him the last timei watched this, and I really wasn't expecting that to change!

"Jadzia you are my par'machai... and everything you do reflects on me." That was not how that sentence was supposed to end 😅

I hate it but I'm actually liking this episode quite a bit - it's the classic miscommunication trope, but genuinely not from lack of trying on Worf's part, simply from lack of ability.

Leeta's so vicious in smashing the dish!

Quark is so hopeful with Leeta's revelation that he might see some of those "fireworks" he was taking about... xD

Hmm, not so sure even the Bajoran ceremony quite makes one ready for that sort of honesty, quite so soon, Leeta...

Worf calling her "Dax" as he spots her with Arandis. Seeing her as the symbiont and Curzon, not Jadzia.

Ugh, "you're too much work". Why did you have to say that? Though I guess if the situation was reversed and it was Jadzia saying it, I'd just take it as good natured teasing...

"What I want is Worf." "Why?!" "Because he has the courage of a beserker cat and he has the heart of a poet." "And the brain of a pigheaded idiot." "Yeah, sometimes." She says that last sometimes so fondly though... maybe if she loves him that bad she does jut need to put more effort in... (Also loving 'beserker cat' rather than simply 'beserker' or 'beserker warrior' XD)

"Maybe we have forgotten how to deal with adversity." Maybe the point of having a civilization where adversity is rare is making the most of happiness? And maybe those who do face adversity - like the Starfleet staff - deserve a fucking vacation? Most people on Risa are on holiday - they have jobs and other life stresses, even in automated space communism utopia. I think Fullerton is probably the one who needs a little experience of *true* adversity. -_-

Last time Worf's story made me go "booo, a little not of tragedy doesn't mean you're allowed to be a massive misogynist." But actually, Jadzia is right, it does explain a lot. And I do give most of the other characters some slack in the misogyny area given they were written in the 90s...

"Or at least get out of this room." "... Very well." Fullerton actually sounds disappointed to be asked to leave the room that's about to collapse. Oh god, he wants to be a martyr, doesn't he? 🙃

"I will do as I please." *throws him across the room* FRICKING IMPULSE RESTRAINT WHAT, WORF?

"I am on holiday." I'm glad that amused you, Jadzia, but what?!

"I better go find Bashir. He brought a horga'hn down to breakfast and that's the last I saw of him." Quark looking out for Julian is not something I realised was a thing? But that definitely sounded a little like concern. (Unless it's a hope he can join in, I guess... 😅) (Was not expecting to get on the Quark/Julian train either but if there was a time when it was going to happen...)

Huh, the worst thing this time was actually not Worf, but Julian and Quark objectifying Jadzia... and at least on Julian's part, I think it was in jest, given I don't think she was being her best self at that time?

Alright, well - for all that people hate that episode, which had included me… I enjoyed that, genuinely! Surprises never cease...

[ranposgirlboss]

~HCS FROM MY BOOK!!-PART ONE~

THIS IS MULTIFANDOM!! also most of these are either slander or made for being a silly joke <333 so please don't take this seriously

fandoms: genshin impact, bungou stray dogs, and honkai impact

genre: fluff, slander, and sillies (it progressively gets less and less serious)

enjoy my shitty hcs from like a year ago <333 (they are actually older lol) ALSO ARE EXTREMELY SHORT SINCE IM LITERALLY JUST TAKING WHAT I WROTE WITHOUT CHANGING IT AND PUTTING IT OVER ON HERE LMAOASBHJAS (there's only so much space on paper </3)

chara list!!: albedo, kazuha, xiao, diluc, heizou, fu hua (sentience), scaramouche, aponia, dazai, ranpo, poe, ANDDD nikolai!!

FIRST TIME HOLDING HANDS!!

ALBEDO

-"its all for an experiment" he says

-lil bitch ok sure

-probably gonna study what this feeling is when he holds your hand and "why he feels so warm on the inside"

-acts like he doesnt care that much but bros probably gonna draw yall holding hands like a 13 year old drawing in her diary 💀

KAZUHA

-i love him but

-probably would make a poem about how your hand feels 😭

-he would be so cute tho ngl

-i mean just as always but also like

-please hold his hand he just loves you so much and along with words of affirmation physical contact seems to be his thing

-UGH MARRY ME

XIAO

-"wow y/n when you hold my hand the voices cease their calls for me to go to taco bell, thank you y/n."

-TAKE ME HIGHH AND ILL SINGGGG YOU MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY OHKAY OHKAY OHKAY (if you know that song here's your free kiss <33)

-and then you get married the end

-W H Y D I D I W R I T E T H I S B Y E -

DILUC

-could give less of a shit

-but for the sake of being a gentleman he says thank you and then continues bat manning sillily.

HEIZOU

-"y/n holding hands is cool but i think we should start an investigation of how fast we could make it to my place ;)"

-KILL YOURSELF. (please dont lead the way my silly detective <33)

-this gif makes me want to impulsively eat vanilla cake.

FU HUA

-YAAAATTAAAAA

-*holds hand* look at the beautiful sight ahead of us Y/N! no i did not make that fire-"

-fu hua arsonist era

APONIA

-MOMMY bjnEBHEKHBWJSK

-"y/n holding hands is great but why don't we open our arms and eyes to god"

DAZAI

-I APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY BSD READERS WHO HAVE TO SCROLL THIS FAR JUST TO GET THIS SILLy

-"i can always hold more then your hand~"

-a flirty bitch, but yall got chuuya knocking on your door asking you to "control your dog"

-ironic how chuuya is the one who says that

RANPO

-UGH I LOVE MY SKRUNKLE DOODLE PUSH POP SILLY SKRUNKLY CRUNKLY MUMPLY SILLY (yes i wrote that WORD. FOR. WORD.)

-will hold your hand for payments

-affection?? candy??? candys nuts fit in your mouth because they sure are about to <33 (i want to erase what i write sometimes)

-gets so happy omg

-not only does he have candy, you, but NOW he gets to hold your hand too>!1/!?!?

-wow he might as well steal from a candy store at this point

-might as well

-he swears it was an accident

POE

-poe held your hand with such sweetness, care, tenderness, love, and affection

-karl pulls up in his Mazarati, ready to throw hands once and for all, how DARE someone get more attention then karl

-poe has some explaining to do

-(i wonder how high i was when i wrote these)

-(i think i was 5'5)

NIKOLAI ( I FUCKING LOVE THIS ONE)

-so you go to hold his hand in y/n fashion

-suddenly you almost get hit by a bus

-"shit my bad wrong item"

-you stare in utter confusion at the bus as it suddenly vanishes like a fucking mob from minecraft or some shit

-nikolai god arc confirmed real

-so anyways you suddenly feel warmth on your hand on you see another fucking hand gripping yours but its literally just the hand detached from the body

-you are extremely scared and concerned why there's another hand gripping yours out of nowhere but with nikolai anything is possible so you just accept it and hold his hand back

-he giggles and nikolais away with the hand still holding yours

-(I ASKED HOW HIGH I WAS WHEN I WROTE THE LAST ONE BUT WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE.)

----------------------------------

the voices

ALOS THNAK YOU FOR READING THIS PIECE OF SHIT IM SORRY. SHE WAS ME FROM A YEAR AGO I DONT KNOW HER 😭

alos my reqs are always open

I ALSO APOLOGIZE FOR THE TAGS

[ifeelhuman]

and that was episode 5 of arcane. my goodness. let’s just get right to it.

pt. 1

Grayson !! she’s dead but we got to see more of her—and she was something of a mentor for Caitlyn :’). that almost definitely contributed to the more level-headed approach and state of mind that Caitlyn seems to have in her foundations. she has yet to falter. however, as is the nature of storytelling, a character that is not broken will eventually crack… and i’m saddened for when that time will come for Caitlyn. after what happened with Grayson Cait’s the only one in the ensemble to look at this evenly without impulse of prior bias (so far). interesting duality is Caitlyn being an enforcer had Powder/Jinx being, well, herself but both being really good shots. wonder if a shoot out between the two is to be expected at some point (?).

we knew Caitlyn was going to get Vi out of prison but full-on release? i realize Cait is on her own at this point (Vi doesn’t know that [yet]) but i thought perhaps a provisional release or furlough would’ve been the way to go—Cait even says there’s no record of her arrest so she has nothing to assess Vi and her capabilities beyond the assault she did to another inmate. perhaps that was enough for her (and this shows some of Cait’s naïveté [?])?

i should’ve expected Marcus 🙄 to be working with Silco still, even years later. but damn, he’s got a kid now and is a single father (implied by the drawn picture presumably by his daughter where it shows him, the girl, and another parental figure up in the clouds) but didn’t have the nerve or foresight to know to end their deal when he knew he was going to be a parents. Marcus is not likely to have a happy ending in this show and i worry for his daughter. that scene, of Marcus and Silco (second one in this episode) where Silco provides “evidence” of the Firelights involvement—i really for a second thought that Marcus k*lled himself there and found it believable (perhaps that was the intent. that Marcus is so deep in this that even the act of blowing himself up is barely away from reality i.e. had to force himself *not* to do such a thing).

Jayce… at his core is such a good guy. such a good person but Mel and her desire to control the workings of Piltover thru the council I mean!!—thinly veiled !! she even said herself that her family is used to taking things and this (and her subsequent consummation with Jayce) just reinforces that this is quite true for her still. what her ultimate goal is, i don’t know. i have noticed that her costuming has changed slightly; the white coloration in her outfit had during black or a deep, deep grey now with the same gold accents. perhaps a symbol of her grey(ing) morality. morality and her tryst with Jayce in mind—feels quite inappropriate. for a number of reasons but mostly the fact that he JUST called her a teacher, the detail that she looks nearly identical to her appearance before the time jump, and how quickly she seduced him just after his accession to the council—it’s all too suspicious and there’s no way this ends well.

back to Jayce. he is doing what he can to safeguard all of HexTech and be a good councilor. a leader. but he’s getting pushback (Marcus 🙄 and Mel mainly) the moment he’s doing the right things (looking into suspicious shipments, miscalculations, corruption, etc.) and his sleeping with Mel is unfortunately probably the start to his fall from grace. hell, the scene was even matched with Viktor pushing himself near to death. which !! if Jayce wasn’t elevated to the role of councilor he would’ve been by Viktor’s side !! ugh.

and Viktor. not much to say except that he has not looked good or healthy since the time skip. coughing up blood, his cane now crutches, and becoming more alone due to Jayce’s new role. he is likely to do something drastic to be recognized if he still feels the same way (and stronger) he did before HexTech—about being a real scientist taken seriously for his work. *his*, not Jayce’s. wonder how that may manifest.

[merrinpippy]

thoughts on malevolent "the king" that i wrote down while listening to it on my commute

arthur is so gullible lmao "faroe might be here because of this music box even though I KNOW many entities have already and will try again to use her to trick me" hon cmon

rip arthur lester you would have loved star trek deep space nine season 1 episode 1 and more specifically "no. it's not linear"

love this new freak. he called arthur "my love" therefore i am instantly on board with him. me too babe. wonder if by choices he means the out of universe patreon polls?? he makes references to things from different time periods and seems to have some control over the (out of universe?) sound effects soooo

also v curious as to what this thing is in arthur that supposedly makes him so special. i hadn't gotten the vibe before this that there was anything significant about arthur, i mean not in a chosen-one way

arthur is so certain that john will win between them- so all of his "this is MY body"s aren't actually egotism or selfishness but defensive lashing out in response to the powerlessness he feels because in arthur's pov, if push comes to shove, the body ISN'T his, it's john's

oh john's "NEVER" ugh so good. i love devotion

poor lily. poor john.

ARTHUR ADMITS TO LOVING JOHN????? WHAT i'm only 20 eps in how much gayer can they get?? (i know i'm wearing shipping goggles but i am capable of seeing this without them too- it's a really interesting character moment for arthur to admit this. i'll need to come back to it later)

arthur's 'yah's are so good btw

aw John being protective of arthurrrr i love it when arthur and john are separate and clawing to get back to each other

it's interesting that arthur is heartwrenchingly truthful to both kayne (yes i did look up this spelling) and the king in this episode, despite intimate knowledge of how those truths can be twisted against him. it's also interesting that these are not truths he's spoken to john first, actually they're the opposites of vitriol he's sent johns way previously.

it's a pattern of behaviour that arthur will feel helpless against a particular truth and then posture viciously in the opposite direction, whether that be in what he says to john or what he chooses to do, where he chooses to go, etc- like going to the city, smashing the bottle that 'frank' wanted him to drink and so on

really love the conversation with the king and how arthur acknowledges his and john's monstrous acts and yet chooses to believe in them anyway. malevolent's thesis statement right there. i'm getting the vibe of it may have all been for nothing but our choices mattered because we made them.

finally the arthur self throat slitting i'd been spoiled for! even having been spoiled for it, it's a fantastic moment, and i actually disagree with the person who mentioned it in the tags of my previous post- they seemed to interpret it as a suicidal impulse of arthur's but i think arthur has proven repeatedly that he isn't suicidal, or at least if he is he's fighting that urge tooth and nail.

actually arthur has been so desperate to live this whole time, clinging to life at every step even just in order to spite the king. meanwhile john wants so desperately to change and not be like the king, to be his own person with free will- you could argue this is his chief want- yet they both throw these things away instantly when the other is in true peril.

deeply fucked up to separate the pair. extremely excited to see where the hell this goes.

[nightmarearian]

helloo i just stumbled acress your blog and if you dont mind id like to ask-

FELLOW GENSHIN LORE FAN????

if yes then what are your thoughts on the next dain archon quest-

feel free to ignore/not answer btw, no pressure ^^

FUKC YEAH LOORREEE

I’m more into Khaenri’ah/Abyss lore, than anything else tho, if i’mma be honest lol.

I’m absolutely interested in lore and stories and general though to be honest I think my attention span and sleep deprivation doesn’t allow me to make up anything to big from scratch

Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

But I’d love to bounce of others if it weren’t for my social anxiety so please I’d be absolutely interested in anything with this

I’m really late to answering this shit to where people have already posted the cutscenes of Caribert onto yt, which I watched because impulse control is a myth and I’m quest locked so-

If you haven’t seen it yet then by all means ignore the rest of my rambling;

So Kaeya is specifically the descendant of the founder of the Abyss Order, Chlothar Alberich. Kae outwardly says he has no idea of the origin, with how openly he handles his last name, but he also says it ties up some questions he’s had.

Of course, quote Diluc, “you can only trust half of what he says at best,” so of course taking that with a grain of salt:

At ‘worst’ that means Kae always fuckin knew/This is just the final confirmation about it, and he knows a lot more about the Abyss Order. (Also funfact: one of his first, base lines, like the ones you have access to w/ friendship lvl 1, have something asking “Is the Abyss Order bothering you?” Not to mention there’s an anecdote on “You’re scars of the dark? That’s… interesting.” Oh, and that first archon quest in the domains and stuff; Where Kaeya recognizes hilichurl aren’t this smart and looks like he’s about to talk with a Abyss Mage before adult barges in. And the. “Let’s just say I was blessed with certain… linguistic powers.” Shit, foreshadowing goes deep.)

At best: He had just a bit of knowledge about it, and confirmation opens a lot up for him.

I do doubt he’d actually turn to the Abyss Order, cause Hoyo making him essentially a villain/major (enough) antag would be… uh, unlikely to say the least. I can see some spying on the Abyss Order and double crossing them though, that fits with Kae.

And at the same time, Caribert is apparently Chlothar’s son, right? He’s obviously affected by the curse, being the hilichurl. And so if we’re going with the “Kaeya is from straight up alive Khaenri’ah, not just the ruins” that either means through shenanigans Caribert turned into Kae or Kae has a sibling.

However, Kaeya is called a descendant of Chlothar, so that’s a separation of time; But then that also brings up the question of how Kaeya knows of Khaenri’ah? His Story says things/describes Khaenri’ah in things in general that paints it as if he actually lived there.

Did he live in ruins? Then I doubt he’d have as much knowledge about Khaenri’ah as he could very well likely have (and not tell us, obviously, the little liar [affectionate]). Not to mention the paper he stole when his father showed him about “what being an Alberich” is about and stuff; embers blah blah; that doesn’t sound like ruins…? Ugh. He has a stupid amount of 4-pointed stars on his design too; There is no way he doesn’t know at least a good amount about Khaenri’ah.

Following the Caribert -> Kaeya thing;

Chlothar did fuck around with the Abyss sibling (I play Aether so I’m gonna say Lumine) to try and find a way to help Caribert with the curse and stuff. Hell, after we dig up the bodies when Dain wakes us up, Dain questions if Chlothar found a way to stop the curse or something. So perhaps Chlothar did “cure” (to some level, otherwise they wouldn’t need to do the Loom of Fate shit) of some sorts that returned Caribert?

And then due to Abyssal time shenanigans (it’s already proven to fuck with time, look at Ajax/Childe) memories got fucked and Chlothar decided it’d be best to leave Kaeya in Mond, whether as a spy or for a better life? Kaeya does still have that eyes patch, after all. And it’s not implausible that there was a name change for ambiguity.

But at the same time, a ‘cure’ for the curse would be questionable - why hasn’t it been mass produced/practiced by now then? - not to mention I don’t think Kaeya would only get away from all that with just an eyepatch covering his face. And again, Kaeya was described as a “descendant” of Chlothar, and it’s referred to as an “ancestor/ancestry” specifically, so for the time thing it’s unlikely.

Not to mention, Chlothar also has a bigger star, closer to Dain than Kaeya’s. As Kae put it “pure-blood Khaenri’ahn”.

So yeah, Kaeya is probably just more of a descendant, if his appearance contradicting the description of a Khaenri’ahn has to say anything (“Light hair, fair skin, star-pupil” Kae is one of the 3 playable characters that has a darker skin tone, he has dark blue hair, and his star pupil is small than compared to Dain or Halfdan. …Though Chlothar has black hair. Huh).

But bring up the fact that he describes Khaenri’ah like he’s lived there and the. That brings up and entire other question/argument. Then what was Kaeya’s father, Chlothar or not, doing? Was he part of the Abyss Order? Or was it just something purely Khaenri’ahn? How is he not affected by the curse; was it the fact that he’s only part Khaenri’ahn?

So much questions so little information. This is the reason I love and hate lore aaaaaaa-

Okokok

Caribert & Kae are siblings? - Again the “descendant” and “ancestry” thing, and he is suspiciously absent if they are siblings. (Huh, the abyss/Khaenri’ah is having the small theme of siblings/siblings in arms. Aether & Lumine; Dain & Halfdan as brothers in arms; hell, in the more abyss based - Childe, you know with Teucer and shit, and then Kaeya, with Caribert or Diluc.

Of course I’m in love with the head cannon that Kae is from when Khaenri’ah was actually alive lmao :,)

And that’s only Kaeya, granted he is my favorite.

Now, the travelers. (Again, Aether as traveler, Lumi as Abyssal sibling)

Right. So we see Lumine’s memories of her time traveling with Dain, in which she meets Chlothar Alberich, who she sorta-helps with his son, Caribert. Then, once she wakes up, Chlothar goes on for a bit about the abyss being the answer to the curse or something, etc.

Assumedly, this would be where Chlothar founded the Abyss Order? At least, this is the main inviting event that leads to the Abyss Order.

I think, if I’ve read this correctly, Lumine is still traveling with Dain, so it’s not like she actively helps and joins with Chlothar. If what we say as the traveler in Lumine’s memories actually did happen, she probably joins the Abyss later; Alberich, maybe partly the fact that she’s princess of Khaenri’ah and was also incredibly helpful to the creation of the abyss order, gives her the title of Princess in the Abyss Order.

Did something happen during the travel that caused her to join the Order? Or was it just the fact of mulling it over for fuck knows how long and then splitting with Dain that got her to join?

Also, if the Alberich clan took over after the fall of King Irmin, then how do Lumine and Aether go into this? Are the the kids of King Irmin? We’re they too young to rule or something; then how was Lumine old enough to see the fall of Khaenri’ah? By then wouldn’t there be enough time for at least one for the sibling to rule? Then how come there’s no mention of it?

Hell there’s even the question of just how Aether could share memories with Lumine. Technically, nothing happened there that would indicate that there’s be like.. something to fuck around with for memories. By all means it’s just a place. Did another event happen here? Was the curse from Caribert just that strong/not as specific? Am I just looking a bit too into this part because let’s be honest they probably just need to drop this lore somehow?

Also, when Chlothar is talking to Caribert on the ledge, he says something along the lines of “remember this is a new place”

Essentially: This is new from what we know, it weird. (Come back here, please)

That either means something was fucky with Sumeru making it fantastical or they just left Khaenri’ah, which is more likely.

Then how long has Dain & Lumine been travling? The ruins of Khaenri’ah are said to be underground around Sumeru, curtesy of Kaeya*.

(*Wait, for the small story Kaeya tells, he say he want to go to Sumeru to learn more of his origins - again, grain of salt for the pathological liar - but that overall implies that he’s never been to the ruins of Khaenri’ah. Of course he could just be lying and as a child he just want to go home, even if said home we’re ruins, but still.)

How recent was the destruction of Khaenri’ah, then? Cause Dain & Lumine are both treating it as if it’s been long - Chlothar says something like “your alias” which implies that Lumine has been using the name “Traveler” during her travels with Dain long enough for it to just become.. well, her deficit alias.

And if Lumine was the Princess of Khaenri’ah, why would she give Chlothar an alias? He clearly has big fuckin stars for his pupils; If the destruction of Khaenri’ah was that recent, why would she be so guarded? Was Alberich suspicious during the reign of Khaenri’ah? But the Alberich clan took over in Irmin’s stead, meaning they were trustworthy and powerful enough to keep an entire kingdom together.

Just how long as is then since Khaenri’ah’s destruction, then? If it’s been long enough to where being weary of another Khaenri’ah is just “expected”, then there’s no reason for Chlothar to remind Caribert about our go Khaenri’ah.

If it hasn’t been to long, then why has Lumine not revealed herself, relieved at the survival and… not-hilichurl-indication of her people? And why do Dain & Lumine treat/talk about their travel, even just in Sumeru, as if it had went on for an long time?

Aaaaaaa-

I’d continue but’s it’s 2 am on a school night (morning) and I have an “out-of-sight, out-of-mind” brain so just. Take this. GN and thanks for asking! :D

[weabooweedwitch]

I say this as someone who's followed you for years and with as much kindness as possible:

Get the fuck away from your mother. Ditch her fuckin ass. She's repeatedly making things worse and refuses to learn. You need to get away from her, for your own good.

I know I might be repeating what other people have said, or even what you have thought of doing, but holy shit this bitch is actively ruining your life through sheer stupidity.

I hope things get better

I feel bad that people have to keep giving me this kind of advice because I realize it's the most obvious answer, and there are multiple reasons separating from my mother would be good for us both. I feel bad that i keep sharing all these worrying stories and worrying people and then at the end of the day, I'm way too scared to actually try and fix things. I just worry so much about not being able to take care of myself, not being able to drive, what if I go somewhere and it's harder if not impossible for me to get to work, just. I worry about everything. Honestly the thing that worries me the most is keeping my job or not being able to transfer if I went somewhere else. My wage is currently $19 an hour, my 58 yo mom was making $22, so like, I'm helping hold it all together with rent BECAUSE of that income. I'm so scared of losing that.

I've had people ask if there's any family I can go to and the only possible option would be maybe my father who is in another state, I cannot remember if it is in Illinois or Missouri (ugh, they may have passed recreational weed but thats the only good thing thats came outta thar state in like the last 2 decades). And I don't know if that would be good either. But it's an option I'm beginning to consider. But I am sort of still in the reconnecting process with my dad and we've butted heads a few times and he also has his own physical and emotional issues. Actually I think he is where I inherited a lot of mental illness from because he also has an anxiety disorder and we are almost positive he has equinus like me. He also has developed type 2 diabetes and I am really bad with sugar impulse control, what if I hurt my dad because I can't stop bringing sweets into the house and he eats them too 🥺

It just. Personally makes me hate myself to even think of "hiya pops, we've barely spoken in the last 10 years, I've been really ahitty about talking to you consistently since we've said hi again and lost my temper with you a few times, hey I know you're on a fixed income and out of a job right now (or was, maybe he has one now, we've spoken so little idk) but is it OK if I come live in your house as a whiny codependent barely functioning weed addict of an adult?" 😅

But yeah I just. This is really. It just never ends. I keep fighting myself and beating myself up on "who's right, am I right, am I wrong, am I overreacting, whats going on, what do I do, someone tell me what to do because I'm too stupid to do things right" and it's just. I also still love my mother even if that love is being increasingly mixed with resentment. I worry about her ability to take care of herself because her health is getting worse and, like, I worry about her mentally a lot. Like this tooth infection she has, is because she doesn't have the best dental hygiene, and had fillings and such, and even after needing fillings still takes shit care of her teeth, and was putting off getting like broken teeth and such taken care of, and, they're now having to pull SEVEN of her back teeth. She'll need dentures to eat certain foods now. And I'm not better, I basically stopped brushing my teeth for many years because I literally expected to be dead before they rotted out of my mouth and now I'm scrambling to adopt that routine again, and also like.

Sorry but my mom and a dentist literally lied to me when i was a little girl and said i had several cavities because they thought i would be scared into brushing my teeth and all that did was convince me everything was pointless and needed to give up since it was already damaged, and she refuses to apologize or even acknowledge how that literally helped me develop a complex and felt helpless when SHE LIED TO ME, A CHILD, HER CHILD (and also i think my difficulty keeping routines is a combination just needing to apply myself and having adhd issue because like, I've been pretty good with my skincare at least)

I just. I love her but I hate her. If I'm not careful to keep myself calm I'm going to escalate to the physical level. And to be honest I've had the opinion for many years that, all those times my mom told extremely age inappropriate stories to little tiny baby Miranda about her experiences with assault and domestic violence, even as a kid I would think, "well you like don't listen, you shut people down, you insist youre always right, I want to hit you all the time too, maybe it wasn't them but maybe you got yourself hit by constantly pushing everyone around you to their breaking point" like clearly that's not a healthy thought to have and I. I am kind of convinced at this point that almost every single bad thing that had ever happened to this woman was her own fault in some way shape or form. But you could also say that about me

What's scary is that I can't even think of going anywhere without having savings first and I'm constantly being pushed to my limits to the point I don't HAVE any savings, it's all getting sucked up. I dunno how else I can get out of this pit and I'm just, mentally worn down from any entire life of this. I feel useless and exploited at home and then I go to work and feel useless and exploited at work and by society. Like. Life feels so bleak. My Canadian friend is getting in worse health. I still have a lot of affection for him but he's also uh done and said a few things I really disagree with on personal levels and it, gives me some pause, like. I genuinely am so sad all the time. I need to go back to the psychiatrist to get some medicines again but, I am working and making enough money that after my state insurance expires in October, I'll have to go through my work, and that doesn't 100% cover everything so, j wouldn't be able to afford anything at that point

Just. Ugh. I try to write down my thoughts and listen to music and try to write on my other blog to cheer myself up but I just. What can you do right. What am I good for. What is anyone good for. What is this world itself good for. Our entire species is gonna go extinct with climate change anyways. Why should I keep struggling and suffering like this when it's. Idk. Arguably all for nothing. We'll all be nothing more than just dogs following commands and paying bills until we die

[starberrywander]

idk if its related but I suspect it is,

Ever since, like, age 15 I find myself facing random days of depression. Its not anything intense enough to get/be worth getting diagnosed (I don't think), but I tend to find myself periodically losing all desire to do anything but lay in bed and sleep for a couple days at a time. Its frustrating to have this craving for something that cannot be filled, to the point where sleep is the only escape and oversleeping feels horrible but so does not sleeping and ugh.

The reason I think its related is because these periods tend to coincide with me getting frustrated with some obligation related to work or with lack of ability to just impulsively do something fun. Every time I have to face someone with power employing or suggesting threats of something or another to control my choices (threat of being fired for having my phone at work, threat of getting written up for sitting when there is literally nothing to do, and threat of being fined if I don't participate in jury duty, for a few recent examples) it can trigger these depression episodes. Because having to face the fact that I cannot freely do harmless things due to someone else (the company I work for) not liking it and that there are authorities (government) who can just make demands of me out of the blue that I will be punished for refusing, really hammers in this feeling of my life being stolen from me.

I don't enter these agreements willingly. Legally and on paper, maybe, but the decisions are coerced not free. I don't choose to submit to the demands of my boss because I'm okay with it, I do so because my basic needs are on the line and there's no other option. Choosing another job doesn't change that, they will still always dangle my access to necessities over my head because that's how the entire country functions. And even if I were to grow all my own food and filter my own water and be completely self sufficient (which I intend to work toward as I am able) I am still required to pay taxes to the government in order to access the living space necessary to do that in the first place. If I took up a freelance job I would still have to pay taxes or else face punishment. I will never not have to answer to someone else about my finances. I can't just mind my own business; I have to be monitored at all times and trying to escape means punishment.

And this isnt particularly a gen z thing so much as it is a leftist/anarchist/libertarian thing, but I feel like it hits harder under the circumstances that our generation is living in. It just feels like there are no naturally occurring opportunities to have a community or participate in a culture, (and with all the paywalls and attempts at regulation, the internet is starting to lose its place as an alternative to that) we have to put continuous effort into creating and maintaining those things for ourselves and with the demands of survival in the current economy and attitudes of employers it can be hard to find the energy. Everything is expensive and stretched thin, including the non-material resources necessary to access our personal lives.

I do have hope that we will learn from all this and come out the other side with a better world than we were born into, but damn I hate hearing all the stories of older relatives who lived in the "Fuck Around" period while we're all stuck living through the subsequent "Find Out" period.

Maybe this is the wrong platform to pose this question given the average tumblr user but

Is it just me or did our generation (those of is who are currently 20-30 ish) just not get the opportunity to be young in the 'standard' sense?

Like, everyone I talk to who's over 40 has all their wild stories about their teens and 20s, being young and dumb, and then I talk to my friends and coworkers and classmates, and we just... dont.

[emberlynnrayne]

8-12-24

I'm trying to take better care of myself.

I'm not doing a great job, but I'm getting better.

Started with my new therapist today, and I'm optimistic.

Start my new job tomorrow, and I am nervous, but confident. I am good at what I do, just hoping I mesh well with the family.

One month till move out. Gotta get packing.

Been thinking a lot about Hali lately. I've come to realize I wouldn't let her back in now, if she tried. Our friendship falling apart has weighed heavy on me, but I think I'm making peace with it. The further into my recovery I get, the clearer I see my past relationships for what they were. We weren't all bad, but she was stuck in unhealthy patterns that only got more severe with time.

I dunno. Now shes made another series of impulsive decisions and isn't happy with where it got her. And she's stuck there now.

I won't make the same mistake twice. There will not be another Hali, another Jill, another Justin, Jason, or Alex. My standards are set and I'm no longer giving passes to patterns.

Patterns.

I'm watching everyone all the time. Watching myself. Watching for patterns and

...

And ready to run.

Fuck. Is that still where my head is at? That I have to be ready to run at the drop of a hat? Why am I surprised by that? I've recognized it in different terms- the fear that everything could crumble at any moment, for example. But running. Am I escaping or staying on my feet? In fear, or hitting the ground running again? Does it matter?

Where is my faith?

Ha.

I'm held together by pure stubborn force of will. I will not stop. Ever. If my heart is dead my body will keep going through the motions until it beats again. I will not stop. That is where my faith is.

There is a fire in me that just won't die. I've always had this certainty that I was here for a reason, and that I would find and live a happy life if I just did my best. So I am. Always. Trying.

But I am watching for patterns in the people around me. Skittish of danger like a bunny in the meadow. Ready to start back into my hole at the first movement of shadow.

I am so tired of hurting. I understand why I'm not in a hurry to invite that potential again.

I literally cried, utterly bawling the other night. It was a moment of realizing how deeply I loved my partner, and how profoundly terrifying it is. They're so deep in my heart. The hurt they could cause is just... Blinding.

I feel so guilty sometimes. It's not that I don't trust partner. It's not that I think they'd be malicious. It's not about them. This fear is seeping from my scars.

I won't let the FOG control my life anymore. I live through my fears and love through the scars. As much as I can.

Ugh. My brain goes in circles. Always searching for my flaws and mistakes. Always on the lookout for danger. So afraid of myself and every damn one else.

My therapy homework was to write 5 of my own daily affirmations.

1. I deserve grace.

2. I am good.

3. I am capable.

4. I am likable.

5. I

These feel not good enough, but I am tired.

Goodnight.