#can i just say - i had a very similar theory for MS at one point

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things Rewatch "The Vanishing of Will Byers" (Part 2 of 2)

Disclaimer: This is NOT a traditional review/analysis, but a collection of observations, brief commentary, favorite moments, and so on that I'm noting as I go through these episodes. All of these are just my opinions and/or theories, and can be subjected to change as the rewatch continues.

Observations:

I was under the assumption Brenner used food as a means of getting El to act the way he wanted her to, and would starve her as punishment if she dared to disobey him (hence Benny's comment here about El not being fed enough). This is the same guy who was willing to deprive Kali/Eight of sleep in Suspicious Minds when she refused to tell him something he wanted to know, so I wouldn't put anything past Brenner when it came to the abusive way he treated these kids.

It's hard to tell how much of El's behavior with Benny here is because she's having a hard time processing and understanding what's he's saying, if she's reluctant to trust him because he's the first person she's met outside of the lab, or if she's been conditioned so thoroughly by Brenner to not talk about who she is or what she does with other people who aren't him (or the Orderlies/Lab Staff) that she still can't overcome that mental block despite having escaped.

Also, major props to Benny for being the first adult to show El any kindness. I like to believe that when El killed Connie Frazier in the season finale, she was thinking of avenging Benny in that moment.

The idea of Lonnie dating girls who are underage (or that Joyce seems to think he would) is just.......🤢 🤮 As if this show didn't give enough reasons for why he's a loathsome creep. 😒

I'm curious if the dog was able to sense the presence of the Upside Down, or if it's continuing to bark at the shed because that was the last known location of Will and the Demogorgon. Or maybe he can sense that Will is there somehow, but not physically present, which is confusing him.

Canonically, from this conversation, this is the first time Mr. Clarke and Hopper introduce themselves to one another. They apparently had the same science teacher growing up (Ms. Ratliff), but never interacted with each other while going to school. Hopper explains his distaste for science that Mr. Clarke doesn't share. There's also the implication that social status during their school years played a part in why these two didn't interact prior to this point. Mr. Clarke would likely have been a nerd growing up, and dialogue indicates Hopper was a ladies man and likely popular during his heyday (similar to Steve).

Speaking of Steve.......

This entire interaction between Mike and Steve speaks for itself. 😂

RIP Benny Hammond. You deserved better! 😢

I've questioned the logic of Connie killing Benny, especially because of how it drew unwanted attention (especially from Hopper of all people) when that's likely the last thing Brenner and Hawkins Lab wanted. At this point, Benny was fully cooperating with Connie, and was about to give El to her since he believed Connie was from social services. There's nothing in his conversation with Connie prior to his death that would've made her suspicious that Benny saw something he shouldn't have, or that he believed there was something abnormal about El.

It's also notable that El doesn't run when she first sees Connie at the door with Benny. She runs AFTER Connie shoots Benny. That implies that Connie was someone El hadn't seen before, meaning Connie could have gotten El to come with her without fuss (and without arousing Benny's suspicions) and then later hand her over to Brenner before El realized what was happening. If Connie had been ordered to kill Benny just for seeing El and wanting to keep her existence a secret, then at the very least, she should have waited until after they had El in their custody so that she wouldn't be able to run away. Connie really screwed up here.

I love the song choice of "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane for the scene where El escapes Benny's restaurant. The lyrics to the song were inspired by the book Alice in Wonderland, and the natural curiosity Alice has when she explores Wonderland (similar to El's curiosity about the world outside of the lab). However, it was also about the type of drug-induced "trips" you take when you get high on psychedelics. Grace Slick, frontwoman for Jefferson Airplane, argued Alice in Wonderland contained metaphorical drug references, like the catepillar on a psychedelic mushroom smoking opium, or Alice eating something that causes her to become "too big for the room." The song itself was written and released in the 60s when psychedelics like LSD were being used, and those same psychedelics were taken by El's mom, Terry Ives, during the experiments she did at Hawkins Lab while pregnant with El. This factored into El obtaining the abilities she has. Symbolically, the song does a great job describing El's situation and how she came to be.

Another song choice I liked was "Africa" by Toto for the Steve and Nancy scene. There's always been a debate about what the lyrics mean (and from what I've heard, the band meant for the song to actually be about the continent of Africa rather than as just a metaphor), but when I first heard the song years ago, I interpreted it as about a man being enamored by a woman, anticipating the moment when they get together, and wanting it to be a special moment. Given Steve's interest (and flirtation) with Nancy in this scene, as well as his insistence to her that he doesn't just see her as another notch under his belt and is truly invested in her, both he (and Nancy) want it to be a special moment as well.

For the people who complained in S4 about how OOC it was for Joyce not to notice that Jonathan was high, they establish from the first episode that Joyce can get distracted when she has other stuff on her mind. Whether it's working to provide for the family, or trying to come up with a convincing cover-story for her kids so she can go to Russia to rescue Hopper. It doesn't mean she doesn't care for Jonathan or Will (not that I should have to say this to anyone who's been paying attention to this show).

Finally, this iconic moment still stands out after all these years:

The moment Mike claims he fell in love with El. And the moment where El met the first people she could truly call her friends.

On an unrelated note, today it rained, similar to how it rains in this episode. That detail is irrelevant to this discussion, but I thought it was a nice coincidence! :)

Thank you for reading my thoughts on the rewatch! :)

Coming Soon: Stranger Things Rewatch "The Weirdo on Maple Street."

[deerest-me]

i offer the following information, under a readmore bc i just know im gonna ramble (and boy i sure did):

i am a (physics) PhD student for whom approximately 2/3rds of what you described holds. i.e., interdisciplinary work / education, acceptance of unorthodox students, but no vibrant culture (it is. pretty miserable. i work entirely remotely for now bc i became disabled during the pandemic, but at my school itself there is little to no community everyone says, and i can tell tbh. the lab i collaborate with is a different story! more on that later).

so, i started out as a pure math major at another institution (with a great, education focused faculty, and veryyyy warm and close department life. i miss it a lot). got a BS and MS, saw lots and lots of cool math (similar to you, took grad courses during undergrad, so i exhausted the whole course catalogue).

BUT! when it came time to decide what to do for my math PhD, i drew a blank. i liked everything! how was i supposed to choose? and mulling in the back of my mind is that i really liked physics and wanted to use my math ``superpowers'' for that. i had it in my mind that i wanted my research to be very mathy still, though!

so, i applied for a PhD program in physics, and ended up where i am now. i cant go into excessive detail about what it is i do, my research is specific enough that it would basically doxx me. the point is, though, ill talk about what i did to attain similar goals / requirements to what you described, and what i WISH i had done, potentially, to hit that mark even better.

so, what i do right now is basically mathematical modeling of an interesting optimization problem in the wonderful world of accelerator physics. it is, super applied, in that my work is about ONE SINGLE APPLICATION (well, a discrete family of single applications), but but but! the great part is it draws from so many research areas. fundamental physics knowledge is required because there is a beam of high energy particles involved, so all three standard model fundamental interactions are important, computational fluid dynamics bc fluids are there (aside: fluids are SUPER SUPER mathy. if you like analysis, probabilistic / stochastic descriptions, you could even just work in fluids directly), material science (things become irradiated), ANDDDD math because Bayesian optimization is being used, and i have made my own probabilistic models to describe parts of the problem. again... cant get too specific here.

not saying this to show off, bc you might notice that although i apply pure math knowledge (e.g. convergence theorems for Bayes Opt, knowledge of PDEs for doing CFD, etc) there is no room to do actual proof writing, and man do i miss that. this brings me to my first two pieces of advice:

1) getting a graduate math education and then going into physics/engineering for applications is a method that works to cover a lot of interests. you will be treated like an eldritch wizard by your colleagues. unfortunately you ``have'' to give up proof writing with this method.

2) it's harder to avoid specialization if you come in through the math side. you will get proof writing and get to see actual fancy stuff (group theory applications in graduate physics courses were. disappointing, quite frankly. let alone getting hopf algebras involved like i always dreamed) the tradeoff is not having as broad of a scope as if you are working on an application. interdisciplinary math is real and possible, but not as expansive as interdisciplinary physics/engineering. less related, but funding is also worse. while i am ``unemployed'' at the moment until my contract gets renewed (any day now) i get paid a lot better in physics than in math. just putting that out there.

the reason i have this setup, though, is that i collaborate with a national lab. and that arrangement... is really good. better funding, and, if school department life sucks, there is usually more life / activities at the laboratory!! certainly the case with my lab, and you work with lots of different people even in one group. also, better work culture than one advisor and one grad student locked in a concrete box in a university basement together.

the tricky part, is labs usually (usually) look for physics or engineering students first. there are still lots of things for math people to do, though! examples of labs / govt agencies that use math especially: NIST in colorado and maryland, NOAA (weather modelling rules. dynamical systems and chaos theory and multiscale modeling EVERYWHERE), Argonne National Lab (they have a whole mathematics and computing division i know), and probably even more that i cant remember. every single DoE lab has use for math people, but some are more fruitful, if that makes sense. in private i can tell you about my lab in particular, if you have questions.

also, i find with my current work that mathematical modeling is the skill i use the most. actual physics stuff usually is second, interestingly enough. this leads me to my next piece of advice:

3) regardless of being a math or physics major, consider looking for a professor with ties to a major laboratory. government preferably. the pay and work culture are better, and the potential of making friends is MUCH higher. it also makes you feel kinda cool. also, if you are a person who likes to learn a lot, they make for great employers. basically, once you get hired / in with a national lab, they will want to keep you on as a postdoc or permanent employee if you let them. so, you have the opportunity to work on lots of projects and move around in your research interests. SO, LONG STORY SHORT: profs which collaborate with labs are found in math and physics faculty, and doing your PhD at a lab has a lot of benefits.

so far i have probably come across as biased toward what i did, so ill just say what i regret about my choices:

i wish i had tried to find a similar setup with a lab, but coming from the math side. it would be slightly more satisfying i think, but is harder to pull off.

physics is more interesting when taught from a mathematical perspective, but that is almost NEVER going to happen in a physics classroom. you will have to supply that perspective yourself almost certainly, unless you are lucky and take a class in a math department on physics. they exist but are super rare.

so, these are negatives to leaving math to accomplish the goal of being interdisciplinary.

otherwise, though? i have been able to hit most of the three targets that both you and i were looking for. community is lacking at my current school (so watch out for soul-crushing technical institutes) but that can be resolved by working at a lab, where there is a healthier work culture usually. the specifics of what you want to research and work on are probably different for you and me, and so i hope this wasnt too ramble-y and biased. i want to emphasize that doing math at labs is not just for physics-y applications, there are lots of opportunities at the aforementioned places.

ive layered some mention of accommodation in the above, but to talk directly for a moment: schools are better about this now. and a lab work structure will usually make it better (im part of a disability advocacy group at my lab, and having bosses and coworkers and such usually makes it less focused on YOU, SPECIFICALLY, needing to get everything done RIGHT NOW). your idea of finding a professor first is a great one: if they are comfortable with discussing it that usually already weeds out the people who wont be good about it.

disability is always tricky, and i was super worried about how it would affect my work, but people have treated me well so far. so, if you vet people for that like youre saying, you will likely have a good situation.

anyways. i hope this could be of some help. i dont know if it is lol. GOOD LUCK IN YOUR ENDEAVORS---I AM SURE YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING GOOD!!

and finally, four miscellaneous incredibly specific pieces of advice:

w) mathematical physics is an interesting area. it is more math than physics. fascinating problems. cleaning up sloppy arguments and math by physicists to get something actual coherent and sensible is the main idea. PROBLEM: i couldnt find many places that do it. for one university i applied to (fairly big name) their math dept had ONE mathematical physicist, and he turned out to be a crank. like, serious crankery.

x) check out the engineering applied mathematics program at Northwestern in Illinois. it's a Math graduate program (Math with a capital M) but they are super interdisciplinary. i have no idea about the work culture, but i THIIINK the department is on the close knit side too. really thought about going there, and might have been better in some respects.

y) seriously consider fluids. again, not sure if you prefer analysis, but it is a really cool subfield of math. BEAUTIFUL pictures are part of the job. dont mean to oversell it but everyone kind of forgets about it because turbulence is a famously unsolved problem. Kolmogorov made major progress on it

z) if beam physics excites you, there is a super mathy area, known as Lie exponential transfer maps. this is really theoretical work that gets applied to make accelerator simulation codes, so it marries lie algebras, particle accelerators, and computer programming. people at university of maryland have a research group for it, and they have a tight department community last i heard.

and finally, general graduate life advice:

dont discount small name universities. they treat you better.

So, I think I'm finally going to apply to grad school for math!

But there are a few issues!

One issue is that I've got pretty severe ADHD. I think that means I ought to look for a professor first, and a school second. I think I need to find a particularly accommodating professor who's willing to take on unorthodox Ph.D. students.

Then there's the issue of: well, what do you want to do research in? And honestly, I kind of want to spend some time learning a lot of things in multiple areas of math. I already have a lot of exposure from taking mostly grad courses in undergrad, but I want to understand things more deeply. I don't want to be tied down to a specific area; generally, I'm interested in: understanding complex systems; connections between different fields of math; the foundations of "abstract nonsense"; fundamental theoretical physics; the places where group & representation & number theory come together; computer realizations of mathematical practice (UX for actually doing math research, knowledge organization, and formalization); and some more "philosophically-oriented" things which tend not to be part of any named fields. I've also got interdisciplinary inclinations and have some budding interest in nanotechnology; and I'd like to be in a place that mixes everything together, and exposes me to even more things to be interested in.

So really, I'm looking for either a professor or two who are also interested in all sorts of things, or a department that allows you the freedom to do all of this stuff at once! A lot of Ph.D. programs seem to signal that they prize specialization, but that's just not an option for me. Sure, I'll do a thesis about a particular thing, but ideally it'll involve a lot of things!

And that's another crucial desideratum: I want a vibrant culture. Far too often I hear about grad experiences in which the grad students are working away in isolation without much community or energy. I want to be around people who are excited about all of the things I'm excited about!

So, three things: accommodations for unorthodox working style; encouragement of interdisciplinary/wide-ranging interests; and a vibrant, exciting culture.

This is really a diary/processing post, but feel free to consider it a request-for-info post—if you happen to have any helpful ideas or connections, pls don't hesitate to share! :D

(I could also use some advice on how to find what I'm looking for, including pointers to groups of like-minded people or places to ask questions. Right now my strategy is "read the faculty bios on university websites, see if anything jumps out, and cold-email the professors", which, you know. We'll see how that goes.)

[endless-season]

Westmoon Chapter 12 [END] - Lucien Split Route

Previous Lucien part here: Westmoon Chapter 10 Part 9 To 13 - Lucien

-

12-1

MC finds a letter from her master

12-2

I clutched the letter Master left me, my heart full of turmoil.

MC: “I’ll wait for you where all things return to.”

MC: All things return... does he mean the Retrobyss…?

Across all the legends in Westmoon, the Retrobyss was known as a hidden and mysterious place.

And all without exception, described how concentrated the demonic aura was in its depths.

These past few days, the Occulstone fragment within me grew more and more agitated. Maybe it was just as Lucien said… my Occulstone probably wouldn’t be able to withstand any further damage from demonic aura.

MC: If this might be my last chance then…

Then before I go, I have to at least go see the one I care about most…

I followed the instructions Lucien gave last time, and made my way to where Max was now living.

There was Max, as well an old woman.

His expression was no longer as mournful as before, when he saw me he even managed to make out a smile.

But when he heard I was looking for Lucien, he showed a surprised expression.

Max: Mister Lucien?

Max: Mister left soon after he helped me settle down here. I thought he went to find you.

MC: Eh? But I haven’t seen him.

Max: Is that so… then I don’t know where he is, sorry.

While we were talking, the old woman also came outside.

Old woman: Max, who is this?

Max: This is my teacher’s wife. The one I told you about, remember?

Max: She’s looking for Mister, and has no idea where he’s gone. How could he just leave her alone like this!

MC: I’m not…

Being referred to as “teacher’s wife” made my face red and I wasn’t sure how to explain. The old woman smiled.

Old woman: Miss, take it as my experience of being an old wife. If you can’t find someone, try looking somewhere you’re both familiar with.

Old woman: Like where you pledged your love, or exchanged your vows… maybe you’ll find something there.

MC: Okay, okay, thank you granny for your guidance. I’ll go have a look right now. Max, I’ll be off now okay?

Max: Okay! See you Miss!

Max: Granny, your health is not the best and the weather is so strange these days. I’ll take you back inside.

Shaking his tail, Max helped the old woman back into the room. Looking at the two, it was only then that I realised-

This old woman, was an ordinary human.

MC: … That’s nice.

Perhaps the hopes the Strangelings had, could slowly be fulfilled.

Rarewood was as overgrown as last time, no longer lush and vibrant as before.

I treaded across broken branches and leaves and arrived at the lakeside. The curtain inside the pavilion swayed in the breeze but there was no snowy white figure within.

Only now did I understand-

This really was the only place that connected us in this vast world.

MC: *sigh*…

I gave a deep sigh, and squatted on the ground a bit disheartened.

I small firefly flew from the lake, and landed on a spoilt flower before me.

I gently poked it, a bit upset. The firefly didn’t fly far, it just looped around in a circle, and landed back in its original spot.

MC: Tell me… where else can I go to find him?

MC: I thought I already understood him, but it turns out I’ve got nothing to go on.

MC: Plus, it’s not like he and I are like what the old granny said, we don’t have anywhere that we ‘pledged our love’ or ‘exchanged our vows’…

MC: I don’t even know where he lived when he was still human!

The firefly’s wings quivered. Who knew whether it understood me or not.

MC: In fact, pretty much the only times we’ve met were in dreams…

MC: What if I just knock myself unconscious right now and go look for him in my dreams!

Lucien: No need.

A familiar voice sounded from behind. I turned around in surprise and almost lost my balance. Luckily Lucien grabbed me from behind and pulled me up.

MC: Lucien…!

Lucien: Yes, I’m here.

He was wearing the same white clothes, his expression calm, just as before.

It was as if there were no traces anything having affected him. But I could tell that something intangible had changed.

The firefly also alighted from the spoilt flower and circled down onto Lucien’s sleeve. He looked at the firefly and gave a slight smile.

Lucien: But I didn’t realise that MC was so dissatisfied with the fact we had nowhere where we pledged our love and exchanged our vows, and that we could only secretly meet within a dream.

Lucien: You were so willing to secretly tell the firefly, and yet you didn’t tell me?

12-3

MC: I didn’t mean that…

Being teased by Lucien like that, I was a bit embarrassed and could only change the topic.

MC: Oh right, how did you know I was here? Did Max tell you?

Lucien: No.

Lucien tilted his head and gave a half smile.

Lucien: What if I told you it was my intuition that told me you were here?

His light tone was just like that fox tail of his, you could immediately tell he was lying.

His smile only grew as he watched me pout.

He took my hand and led me away from the lakeside.

Lucien: Let’s go.

MC: Go where?

Lucien: Don’t we need to go to the Retrobyss?

MC: …?!

How did he know I was going there?

Lucien: MC wants to know how I know where you’re going?

As if he could read minds, he immediately said what I was thinking. As soon as I nodded, his eyebrows raised.

Lucien: Sorry, this I cannot reveal.

MC: ! How can you be like this! Didn’t you say you wouldn’t trick me any more…

Lucien: I’ll tell you when we get there. Let this Great Fox Strangeling keep his mysteriousness for a just bit longer, won’t you?

When he used that voice, I couldn’t help it and could only raise my hands and surrender.

MC: But the Retrobyss will definitely be dangerous. Are you really going with me?

Lucien: Of course I’m going with you.

Lucien: If I let you go into danger alone, aren’t I betraying the blessings and hopes that the Strangelings bestowed upon us.

As soon as we entered the abyss, I realised something wasn’t right. The Retrobyss was the source of all demonic aura, however at this moment it was even more peaceful than outside.

MC: How come it’s completely different from the rumours…

Lucien looked around calmly.

Lucien: It’s not completely different, rather someone’s come in and pulled a few tricks.

MC: Could it be my master…?

Lucien: Don’t think so.

Lucien: From what I’ve observed over the years, although the Oracle comes from beyond our world, he is not materialistic, and is straightforward.

Lucien: Since he’s asked to meet with you, he wouldn’t lay any traps.

Lucien: What we have to be wary of is perhaps an uninvited guest.

MC: You mean someone else came before us…  They’re not planning to ambush us are they?

Lucien closed his eyes for a moment as if sensing something, then opened his eyes and sneered.

Lucien: … a pathetic trap.

He waved his hand and extinguished the torch in his hand, sinking the space into darkness.

Lucien: The torch is useless now, just follow me.

I nodded and tightened my grip on his hand. Lucien smiled, squeezed my palm with his thumb in the darkness and then took the first step.

Lucien walked leisurely, as if he was going for a stroll in this boundless abyss. But as we walked, I felt as if something had changed.

In the beginning I only had some kind of confused feeling, as if we were continually brushing past all sorts of dangers.

The deeper we went, the Occulstone within me could clearly feel the dense demonic aura in our surroundings as if we were walking through chaos.

MC: Lucien… there’s something nearby…

Lucien: Shh…

Lucien: Someone gathered all the demonic aura that was originally here and set a lot of traps.

Lucien: If we alarm them, we might fall into a not so great dream.

I immediately covered my mouth to show I wouldn’t make a sound.

Lucien: You don’t need to be that nervous, I’m here.

We avoided the demonic aura, and continued down. Suddenly, I noticed something faintly light up ahead.

There’s light?

Who would’ve known, as we gradually got closer to the light, an enormous Occulstone appeared before front of us!

Unlike the broken Occulstone within me, this Occulstone was flawless, its light flickering like the heartbeart of the world deep in this abyss.

Lucien stared fixed at this scene and only opened his mouth a while later.

Lucien: Gods bow down and the moon rises from the west… now I understand everything.

MC: Understand what?

Lucien: Regarding this Westmoon…

Lucien paused, as if he had sensed something and turned to look at the occulstone.

Lucien: My apologies, the little pranks you set were a bit boring.

Lucien: So we’ve arrived a bit early.

As soon as Lucien spoke, a man rushed out from behind the Occulstone.

??: How did you get here… I clearly…?!

Even though I only met him that time a hundred years in the past, I already memorised this face- it was that man with the cloak!

MC: You’re that guy from another world…!

Knowing his complete disregard for human life from a hundred years ago, I wasn’t bothered talking with him and cut to the chase.

MC: Where is my master?

Man in Cloak: Hah. What makes you think I’d answer the question of a mere vessel?

Man in Cloak: And as for you…

The man in cloak completely didn’t expect us to arrive so soon. He glared at Lucien full of gloom.

Man in Cloak: I don’t think believe that anyone in this world can avoid my Evol.

Lucien: Evol…? Oh, you mean your Occult?

Lucien: I don’t know why Your Excellence has so much confidence, but this isn’t a good habit to have.

Lucien: You’ve simply gathered demonic aura to try and deceive the five senses such that anyone affected will have their perception altered… like a dreamland.

Lucien: The reason I say “like” and not definitively is because this isn’t entirely created from Occult, but you’ve also used the Occulstone to amplify the power, right?

With every word Lucien spoke, the man in the cloak’s face turned paler and paler.

Lucien: Looking at your expression, it seems I’m not far off?

Man in Cloak: Who are you really… Eos’s report clearly said you’re just defective goods from an experiment…

Lucien: Defective goods?

Lucien laughed when he heard those two words.

Lucien: I’ve realised Your Excellence has another bad habit – that is, arbitrarily defining people.

Lucien: Defining MC as a vessel, defining me as defective goods.

Lucien: But have you considered, that even defective goods can use other methods find the path to success even faster than anyone else?

Man in Cloak: What do you mean?

Lucien quickly glanced at me with a trace of guilt hidden in his eyes.

Lucien: … sorry.

MC: Huh?

Before I knew why he was apologising, he took out a small wooden box.

The decorations on the box triggered my memory – it was the box I saw once before on Lucien’s shelf, the one with a piece of my Occulstone inside!

I watched with wide eyes as Lucien opened the box, but it was empty inside.

MC: My Occulstone fragment… where did it go?

I suddenly thought of the dream we had with our intertwined consciousness, and only then did I realise. Lucien’s cold voice also pierced through the void and entered my mind.

Lucien: What a coincidence, I’m also investigating the power of Occulstones.

Lucien: Since Your Excellence knows so much about Occulstones, I wonder if you can tell me more?

12-4

A long silence filled the cavern, only the enormous Occulstone continued to flicker.

The cloaked man’s face shone green and purple under the magnificent glow. It was a good while until he opened his mouth with clenched teeth.

Man in Cloak: … What right do you have for me to tell you about the QUEEN gene.

Lucien: How come you otherworldly people have different terminology for the Occulstone as well. It makes it a bit troublesome for me to understand. Oh well, it’s a trivial problem.

Lucien: I’m just curious, since you’re all so curious about the potential influence of the Occulstone on Westmoon, why not take a more direct approach?

Lucien: Why did you need to keep dragging it on for as long as possible, before using demonic aura and meteorological tricks to try and force the Occulstone’s host to make a choice.

Man in cloak: What do you mean?

Lucien: Exactly what I said.

Lucien: If it were me, I’d trap the host in a smaller space, and stimulate them more directly both mentally and physically.

Lucien: If she still couldn’t awaken, then I’d throw her into an even crueller environment. Right now this world… comparatively speaking, is still too peaceful.

Lucien: What do you think?

Man in Cloak: …

The cloaked man looked at Lucien with wide eyes and mouth agape as if looking at a terrifying monster.

At this moment, the two seemed to swap roles and Lucien seemed to be the higher being observing the world.

My heart thumped wildly next to Lucien and my back was full of cold sweat. A scary thought appeared in my mind.

… If Lucien wasn’t a Strangeling but someone from “that world”, then would he really do to me the kind of things he said he’d do?

Before I could think further, the cloaked man spoke up first.

Man in Cloak: Someone who knows nothing about the QUEEN gene dares to criticize me?

Man in Cloak: But with this I finally understand something…

Man in Cloak: No wonder Eos kept giving excuses and saying he couldn’t complete the experiment.

Man in Cloak: It’s because you stole and absorbed a fragment of the Occulstone from within the vessel!

Lucien didn’t comment, and instead raised his eyebrow and asked back.

Lucien: Have you never considered - what if I didn’t steal this fragment, but rather someone took the initiative to give it to me?

MC: …?!

Ever since I woke up, I’ve been looking for the Occulstone fragments and I’ve only told master… did this mean master gave it to Lucien?

But why would he do such a thing?

My breathing quickened and I subconsciously wanted to take half a step back, but Lucien held onto my hand and I couldn’t move. His palm was dry and warm bringing me a pacifying effect yet forcing me to see this to the end.

Lucien: After the demon and human war, the Oracle arrived in Westmoon and told everyone they needed a Sorceress to pray for blessings, creating this peace.

Lucien: A hundred years pass and the Oracle continues to select and nurture each Sorceress into a caged bird that only knows how to dance for blessings.

Lucien: However the quality of those Sorceresses were lacking, none could bear the power of the Occulstone.

Lucien: Hence making you all anxious… haha who knew that even the Gods of Westmoon are so impatient.

Lucien: Then MC appeared. She is what you call the perfect “vessel”.

Lucien’s voice was a calm as ever but every word he spoke was like a bloody knife.

MC: No... I’m not a vessel…!

I didn’t want to continue listening and forcefully shook my head. As my tears were about to overflow, Lucien pulled me into a hug.

Lucien: You’re not a vessel. You never were.

Lucien: Remember that dream? You can be a bird, a firefly, yourself…

Lucien: It’s because you have this desire, that I don’t want you to have the complete Occulstone.

Lucien: I made a deal with your master and got the fragment.

Hearing him speak beside my ear, I looked up in disbelief.

MC: What deal?

Lucien: To give you three years of good dreams.

Lucien gave a gentle smile, rubbed my head to soothe me and then looked back at the cloaked man.

Lucien: Does Your Excellence have any questions regarding my thoughts on the Occulstone?

Lucien: I can keep explaining for you.

Man in Cloak: Questions?

Faced with this humiliation, the cloaked man’s face twisted and he reached out his hand with a dense ball of light in his palm.

Man in Cloak: My question is, why didn’t I kill you the moment I saw you?

Lucien: Is that so? Now is not too late.

12-5 - Battle Stage 

12-6 - Mostly common between routes

MC talks to Eos (Master) in the Black Cabin and learns the truth about Westmoon being an experiment for the QUEEN gene ie Occulstone

perhaps-in-anotherdream’s summarised the main points so I’ll just skip this and just add in the Lucien specific part of the convo~

...

Master: For example Lucien, if Occult never existed, his tragedy, Rarewoods tragedy may have never happened.

MC: I…

I bit my lower lip. What master said was too tempting, and was impossible not to be moved.

I thought of the three year long dream, the lonely silhouette in Rarewood, and the dreamland that was broken.

If it were Lucien, what would he choose?

Or… would he agree with the decision in my heart?

MC: Master.

I took a deep breath and slowly opened my mouth.

MC: What you just said was wrong. What caused the Rarewood tragedy was not Occult. But rather you overly arrogant otherworldly people and the greedy hearts of people who were intoxicated by power.

Master: …

MC: If I become the “God” you speak of, all I’m doing is taking over your positions.

MC: If I rewind everything to the beginning, we’ll only repeat the same cycle.

MC: The price was paid for Rarewood’s tragedy, and everyone should remember the price and make sure it never happens again.

...

END

The enormous Occulstone suddenly shattered into innumerable pieces, the moment light burst out, a ball of light appeared.

The ball of light separated Lucien and the girl, leaving him alone in the quiet abyss.

Lucien: …!

Lucien was only surprised for a moment, before his expression returned back to normal.

He went closer to the ball of light, his hand stroked the halo around it and muttered.

Lucien: It’s not made of Occult, and difficult to break open.

Lucien: … Is this the other world’s ability?

If it were in the past, facing such a mysterious and strong power would definitely arouse Lucien’s interest, but right now…

That broken Occulstone in his chest faintly throbbed, futilely resonating with its original owner through the ball of light.

Was she okay inside?

This tiny thought kept circling around his head, and made it very difficult for him to calm down and think about what to do next.

He knew from the beginning that she was extraordinarily special.

Not only could she change his fate, she could change the fate of the entire world.

That’s why when the Sorceress fell from the tower, and the Occulstone shattered, he threw away his own plans.

He was well aware he was being selfish. It was because of his selfishness that he pulled her into a three year long dream, using it as a way to understand her better.

And after she woke up, it would be easier lure her, get close to her, influence her and obtain a fragment.

But he already obtained a fragment and successfully resonated with it, so why did he still try to get closer with her?

Why?

Lucien: *sigh*…

Lucien closed his eyes and rested his forehead on the ball of light.

Lucien: Because in the end I truly am such a greedy and selfish person, what I want more than the Occulstone… is you.

At that moment, the broken Occulstone in his chest gave a violent jolt and a strong power flowed from his body.

The imperfect Occulstone could not withstand such a strong power, and the fox ears and fox tails that he was supressing slipped out…

If the power of the Occulstone could surpass everything, of course it could also defy all rules!

The ball of light couldn’t withstand the power, and suddenly split open. Specks of light drifted down like petals.

In the midst of that brilliance, the answer he always denied stood there.

Lucien: MC

The girl heard his voice and looked up towards him.

MC: Lu-

Before she could finish, she started to fall as if all her energy was spent. Lucien rushed over to catch her.

Lucien: You…

Lucien’s swallowed, it felt as if a thousand words were about to gush out of his throat. Eventually they all slowly receding like a tide, leaving only just one.

Lucien: … sorry.

The girl lightly blinked hearing those words.

MC: Lucien, this is the second time you’ve said sorry today.

Lucien: Sorry, the Occulstone…

MC: Do you regret it?

The girl interrupted his words.

Lucien pursed his lips. The girl looked at him with a clear gaze. He couldn’t lie to those eyes.

Lucien: … I don’t regret it. If this happened all over again, I would still take away your Occulstone fragment.

MC: Haha, I knew you would say that.

The girls breathing was very harsh, and just that small laugh seemed to take up all her strength. Lucien couldn’t help but tighten his embrace.

Lucien: What I regret is something else…

MC: What is it?

Lucien: I regret not telling you earlier about my bad intentions, not taking the opportunity to pull you into a pledge of love, exchange of vows, and firmly tying you to my side.

MC: Pft… you’re so bad and so frank, completely unlike that gentle and mysterious Mister Lucien right now.

MC: We still have time. The things we didn’t have time for and the things we regret, we can still make up for them.

She reached out her hand and gently rubbed Lucien’s fox ears and whispered.

MC: But right now I’m a bit tired. Wait until I wake up, then come tell me everything about yourself, okay…?

The moment all demonic aura disappeared from the world, a new world was formed in the girl’s long breath.

T/N: This is followed by an epilogue video about what happened in Westmoon afterwards! Laxmiree’s posted a subbed video here:  https://twitter.com/i/status/1570429100208300037

[mingying]

[spoilers] hosplay season 2 ep3 - ikjun/songhwa

I am on cloud nine. 

When I posted my theories about ep 1 two weeks ago, never would I have expected such a huge development to happen 2 episodes after! This episode is what I will describe as Songhwa’s preliminary realisation, and the catalyst for this is told through the perspectives of two people in this episode. 

TL;DR: This is a sign that Ikjun and Songhwa are now positively moving in the direction of endgame!!!

cr: _fever_pitch @ twitter 

This scene made me smile so hard! While Songhwa may have asked Ikjun for dinner because she wanted to ask him about DLL, the fact that she initiated it by literally using Ikjun’s iconic “let’s eat” line, speaks a lot. I love the way Ikjun’s face lighted up in an instant when he realised it’s Songhwa.

What I realised also is that he even invited Junwan to eat with them in the cafeteria - maybe he didn’t want to burden Songhwa since they would be alone? Or maybe he was just trying to protect his own heart, we cannot be too sure but definitely, Ikjun-ah, best boi you, best boi. 

The next scene that comes is definitely one scene that highlights their dynamics as work partners. Other than the fact that Ikjun knew Songhwa was worried over something and asked her to just speak up just by looking at her stirring her food, it seems that Ikjun/Songhwa approach things in a somewhat similar wavelength.

Ikjun points out at once that “we can help them”, to which Songhwa confirms saying that she already told them they could. 

When Ikjun says that it doesn’t matter if the patients do it in a different hospital in Seoul because DLL can still provide financial support - Songhwa replies “I told them that”. 

And when Songhwa said DLL will contact Yulje, because the other university hospitals aren’t willing to take the case, Ikjun agreed and said “good”.

Ugh, I absolutely love their rapport here. It shows understanding and compatibility between two friends who clearly share the same opinions about certain things and I love that they’re working together for DLL.

Ms Songhwa saying this line just shows that she values and trusts Ikjun’s judgement. Just as how she whole heartedly believed him when he told her that a “Villain” is someone who works hard to pay bills (BUAHAHA I can’t wait for her to realise the truth and strangle Ikjun).

Ma’am, why do you look like him as he is leaving like he is your entire world?

Coughs. Moving on!

Heo Seonbin~~ Just like how long have you observed your Professor and her best friend that you’re able to form this sort of conclusion that he always makes her laugh and that he will ‘totally’ do it for her if she asks?

Of course, this whole fake dating thing didn’t materialise because Songhwa isn’t the type to go for that - plus she respects Ikjun’s feelings, I’m sure, so she wouldn’t want to put him in that sort of confusing situation after knowing how he feels for her. 

But I have a strong feeling that this scene is strategically placed for a reason and that is to nudge Songhwa towards the realisation that other people are seeing something special between them despite her insistence many times that they’re just friends. And who is the best to tell her that other than Seonbin, who is practically the closest friend that she has at this point that isn’t part of her gang.

In the previous episode, I posted a theory from a kfan that Ikjun was the one who asked for Seokmin’s favour to scrub in the Violinist’s surgery to ease Songhwa’s burden, and that the strawberry cake Seonbin brought for Songhwa towards the end of the ep, was actually bought by Ikjun. This theory remains as a theory until proven otherwise but I live for the fact that SilverDragon may be the ones playing cupid for their Professor this season. I mean, Songhwa did play cupid for them in S1, right?

Kekeke, now, onto my favourite scene of the episode. Kyuhyung’s cameo as Gyeongjin’s brother! I still cannot believe we got this scene handed to us on a silver platter but dude, it’s a complete parallel to IkSong and I absolutely LIVE for Songhwa’s expressions during Hanyang’s (I’ll just call him that) story telling.

Songhwa drank her coffee twice - girlie probably felt so called out that she was flustered and had to busy her hands with something. That’s human tendency, anyway. And we know from EP 1 that her rejection didn’t address Ikjun’s confession in its entirety. So for Hanyang to say “my answer didn’t make sense,” could very well be what Songhwa had in the back of her mind after her rejection, or what she will now realise moving forward.

“As a man and a woman, not just friends.”

A foreshadow, I hope? Because I am betting that this entire scene will play out in Songhwa’s mind over and over again. He is the catalyst she needs at this point of time to realise that the risk is worth taking.

The best line ever. It’s so simple yet so profound. So realistic, too. Because we know exactly who it is that is capable of making Songhwa feel happy. It’s the one person that always makes her laugh. And what more do you need, honestly?

What struck me, as I’ve mentioned on Twitter, is that the scene could have just ended after Hanyang said this line - that being with his gf makes him happy/great. But instead, we got a follow up question from him in that he quite literally ASKED her straight up, if she had someone like that in her life too.

And...guess who showed up at that very moment? Casually, without any hint of jealousy or envy but just decided to stick a straw into his nose?

cr: milly_v_v @ twitter

And made her laugh...without fail again?

I’m not crying, I swear.

My mind is officially at ease, because it seems that IkSong is definitely now headed towards the right direction. ShinLee really wasn’t joking when he put triple Rainbows during the drive in the tunnel. Triple Rainbow...for three episodes? Kekeke.

I’m thinking that Songhwa may still need one or two more eps to sort out her feelings, but by Ep 6 I’m guessing she will finally take the first step towards a relationship with Ikjun. But hey, I’m always prepared to be surprised in the best ways possible (like this entire scene in Ep3) by ShinLee.

[illfoandillfie]

A Different Kind of Education: I Is For Impact Play (Chapter 8)

ADKoE MASTERLIST

Pairing: Professor!Roger Taylor x Fem!Reader

Series Summery:  After being broken up with for not being kinky enough, Reader seeks out her professor to give her some private tutoring so she can win her boyfriend back.

Chapter Summery:   A new week and a new lesson, but also a new challenge. How can you possibly find the courage to talk to your professor about your period?

Warnings: Modern AU, smut (18+), slow burn romance, dom/sub dynamics, dom!roger and sub!reader, professor x student sex, dialogue heavy, conversations about and mentions of menstrual cycles/periods, discussions of impact play including: spanking, kicking, slapping, punching, floggers, paddles, crops, whips, and canes

Words: 10,391

A/N: Better late than never, right? Big apologies for taking so long to get this one up! Once again I've had to split a single topic into multiple chapters lmao. This one is mostly the theory part of the lesson and a bit of an info dump, but the next part will focus more on the actual smut.

Taglist: @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini 

@80s-roger @libsterslobsters @okilover02 @cjand10 @dealorgirl32 @youngpastafanmug @onceuponadetectivedemigod​

You knew it was something you’d have to deal with eventually, that having your period would affect your lessons with Roger. But still you felt reluctant to broach the topic with him. It wasn’t something you generally discussed with people, especially not your professor (even if you were regularly sleeping with him). And you could already hear the lecture he’d give you about why you shouldn’t be embarrassed to tell your sexual partner about your cycle, and about how he’d taught reproduction enough to not be phased by it. The problem was you weren’t really sure how you felt about having sex during it and you knew even less about whether Roger would want to. You were definitely going to have to talk to him about it, no matter how much you didn’t want to. So, wondering when the best time to bring it up would be, you checked the curriculum he’d written for you. Impact play. That was the topic for the week. Roger might consider you clueless about kink (as you’d learnt during the previous week’s munch), but you at least knew enough to know that impact play meant spanking. For a moment you were distracted from your worries about the conversation you were going to have, rather excited by what you’d just read. Spanking was one of those things you’d been expecting to try. When you thought about BDSM, spanking was the second thing to come to mind after bondage. It was one of those things Dylan had hinted at being into. A couple of times during sex he’d given your arse a slap and, though you’d never really asked for it you also hadn’t told him to stop. He never hit too hard and it added a bit of excitement so there was no harm in it. And you suspected he might be interested in pushing it further if you ever suggested as much. So, to know that Roger was going to run you through the basics of it and show you how it felt, you couldn’t help but be a bit excited. And maybe you’d be able to keep things over the clothes to start and you wouldn’t have to tell Roger about your period after all. The good thing with having an implant was that it reduced the duration of your period. It would have been nice if it stopped it entirely but at least it shortened it and made it a little lighter. So maybe you could organise a second session later in the week for the more hands on part of the lesson, and not have to explain at all. You left your apartment feeling happier and excited to see Roger that night. But you didn’t have to wait so long to see him.  

You’d barely taken two steps inside when a familiar voice called out Ms Y/L/N and you found Roger walking towards you, his hand raised in a lazy wave.  “Hi Professor,” you smiled, surprised but happy to see him, “I’m just on my way to class, what’s up?”  “Oh, in that case,” he glanced over to a group of students ambling past you, “do you have time for a meeting before you leave this afternoon?”  Your heart rate sped up at the serious way he looked at you over his glasses, “Umm sure.”  “Good. I’ll see you this afternoon then. Don’t forget.”  You nodded but a new worry had taken over your mind. There was only one reason he could want to talk to you. Your degree. If it was anything to do with his tutoring sessions then he would have just said it when you got to his place that evening. No, it must be to do with your class work. Maybe something had been wrong with your last exam? Possibilities were turning over in your mind as you resumed your path to your first class, each worse than the other. Maybe you’d misunderstood a question and gotten it completely wrong. Maybe he’d had to fail you. Maybe your overall grade had dropped. Maybe he was going to call the whole tutoring thing off because you’d gotten too distracted and done so badly on your recent assessment. You spent the entire day trying not to get too worked up about it, trying to tell yourself that if your work had slipped even a little he would have called to talk about it earlier, that if it really was as bad as failing his subject you’d have discussed it long before now. By the time your last class of the day ended you were somewhere between terrified about what Roger was going to say and relieved that you were about to find out.  

Your hand was shaking as you knocked on Roger’s office door and pushed it open at his word.   “AH, Ms Y/L/N, shut the door please and take a seat.” he said, shifting a stack of papers to the side of his desk. It was only once you were sitting that he seemed to look at you properly, “Are you alright? You look a bit pale.”  “Professor I’m so sorry, I swear if something was wrong with my last exam then it wasn’t because of our lessons and I promise I’m not letting them distract me at all. I put so much time and effort into studying and if-”  “Woah, woah, hang on. No one said anything was wrong.”  Your breath caught in your throat and it seemed to take you twice as long as it normally would for you to understand what he’d said, “There’s not? Then....why am I here?”  “It’s about tonight’s tutoring session.”  “Oh?”  “I wondered if you’d be okay making a small change to the plan.”  “S-so nothing's wrong with my work?”  Roger shook his head, “Your work is impeccable Ms Y/L/N. Sorry, I didn’t realise you’d assume the worst. I had no intention of worrying you like that. I was intending to mention it this morning but you seemed to be in a bit of a rush and I didn’t want anyone to overhear so...” he gestured vaguely towards you with his hands.   You let out a relieved chuckle, feeling a weight lift from your shoulders, “What was the change you wanted to make?”  “Do you know what we’ll be focusing on this week?”  “Impact play, Professor.”  “Very good. And do you know what that entails?”  “It’s like spanking isn’t it?”  “Spanking is definitely part of it, yes.”  “Cool. But you’re not wanting to switch topic are you? Only I’ve been kind of looking forward to this one since it’s like proper BDSM stuff....or like, not that other things aren’t I just mean that spanking is part of what I initially imagined, y’know?”  Roger held up his hand to quiet you, “I understand what you mean Ms Y/L/N. And it’s not that I want to change the topic, I just wanted to change where the lesson would take place.”  “Okay...” you were a little surprised by that. Where else could he have in mind when your lessons were supposed to be secret.  “I thought we might have the first lesson here.”  “Here?!”  “Keep your voice down, Ms Y/L/N. Not here exactly, not this office. In the first-year bio room actually.”  “Why? Isn’t that kind of risky? What if someone saw?”  Roger shrugged one shoulder, “It might be, but I think what I intend to show you could be covered as a biological experiment. Let me explain,” he said upon seeing your confused face, “So, as you no doubt remember, first years do a lot of dissection of various animals, working their way up to human.”  You nodded, remembering hours spent bent over various carcases and cadavers.  “Well, I thought it might be beneficial to show you some of the impact play tools we can use, demonstrating how they work and what effects they can have, but I don’t want to demonstrate them on you straight away. Luckily, it just so happens that one of the animals my first years are studying right now is pigs, so I thought we might use a pig carcass instead. Pig and human flesh are quite similar so you should get a decent sense of how being spanked with various tools will look and the impact they would have on your skin. We can compare being spanked by hand to flogging to a crop and so on. All without experiencing any pain at all. Of course, it is a dead pig so it won’t be exactly the same and you probably won’t see the same levels of bruising you would on a living human being, but it’s a good starting point. Plus this way you could try wielding the tools too, so you can get a sense for how they feel to use them and how much force is required to make them work.”  You were taken aback by the explanation and had to stop your jaw from falling open as you listened. But Roger waited patiently for you to think it over and you quickly concluded it was a good plan. You could easily write it off as related to your dissertation if anyone saw and asked what was going on. It wasn’t at all��related but Roger was about the only person who knew what topic you were researching so no one else would pick up the lie.   “Okay then, let’s have the lesson here.”  “Excellent. You really don’t mind hanging back?”  “Not at all.”  “Good. I think we should possibly wait until a little later before we start, just to let the place clear out a bit. Perhaps we could get some dinner and eat it in here before we head down to the room. You can tell me how you’re getting on with your dissertation.”  “Okay, I like that idea.”  “Shall I duck out and get us some food then? What would you like?” 

After what could only be described as a minor argument about the merits of Mexican food, you and Roger eventually settled on a nearby Greek place. He tapped the order into Uber Eats and then went to wait for the delivery out on the street so the driver wouldn’t have to find their way through the numerous carparks and laneways on campus. You ducked out to your own car to drop off your bag full of books, though you kept your laptop to make notes on. It would also make your story seem more legitimate if anyone did stumble onto the lesson and ask what was going on. The thought of the lesson made you smile. Partly because you were keen to learn about the topic but also partly because you knew there was no way sex would be part of it. Roger would definitely draw the line at fucking his student in his classroom where anyone could catch you. And if you were going to be spanking a dead pig then you wouldn’t be asked to remove clothes or anything like that. So you wouldn’t have to discuss your menstrual cycle with Roger at all. You’d just say you were busy until later in the week when your period stopped and organise the follow-up lesson then and Roger wouldn’t be any the wiser. It was perfect. That, in addition to knowing nothing was wrong with your actual schoolwork, put you in a very good mood and you could have whistled with joy as you made your way back to Roger’s office.  

By the time you’d finished eating, the sky outside the window had changed from a mix of warm pinks and yellows as the sun set and was gradually darkening the longer you watched. It was only when Roger glanced at his watch and saw that it was a quarter to seven that he decided the building would be empty enough for your lesson to start. He grabbed his own laptop as you grabbed yours and then led you along the corridor and down a set of stairs, taking you towards the back of the building where the hands-on biology lessons were held.   Roger made sure the door was shut and locked before dumping his belongings onto a desk. “Can you give me a hand?” he asked, before moving to the door to a walk-in freezer at the back of the room.  Together you hoisted a large pig carcass onto a cart and wheeled it out into the main room.   Roger then ducked back into the freezer returning, after a little rummaging, with what looked to be a child’s toy crate. It was made of yellow plastic and seemed light enough that Roger had no trouble hoisting it onto one of the desks, but it was not full of children’s toys. You couldn’t see everything immediately but poking out of the top was a long black handle with a leather flap hanging off the end.   “Is that what we’ll be using then?” You were eyeing the box warily.  “Yup,” Roger began pulling the items from the box one by one, laying them out on the desk, “I brought the box in earlier and hid it down here so no one would stumble onto it. I didn’t want any awkward questions. Or to have any of them stolen since they’re mine,” he added with a chuckle.  You looked over the collection with interest, some of the objects familiar to you and some only vaguely recognisable, “Is that a hair brush?”  “It is,” Roger winked playfully, “Kink can be very D.I.Y and the back of a hairbrush makes for a good makeshift paddle. The front of the hairbrush can be fun too actually. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m going to go through everything individually, explain what they are and what sort of effect they have and I’ll demonstrate them on our piggy participant. There’s also a few things I don’t have which we can run through at the end, sound good?”  “Sounds great.” You sank into one of the nearby seats, pulling your laptop towards you, ready to take notes.   “Right well. Impact play is a BDSM practice where one partner strikes another for sexual gratification. As you rightly said earlier this includes spanking but there's a little more to it than just that. You can slap your partner, punch them, kick them, whip them or flog them. There’re numerous ways to play with impact and as with all BDSM it’s important to negotiate what you want before you start. Being struck can leave marks of course. Brusies, welts, scratches, right through to cuts that draw blood. For some people, the marking aspect is an important part of their enjoyment, and they might go so far as to intentionally make the marks more apparent. But whether or not you want visible marks might be influenced by your job or the season or your social life or any number of other things. Personally, the marks are secondary to why I enjoy the forms of impact play I partake in. But my feelings aside, the nature of our lessons and the secrecy required, means I won’t intentionally be marking you anywhere that isn’t easy to cover up. If you even want to try it out. You might see everything today and decide it’s not for you and that would be okay.”  “I don’t think there’s much danger of that Roger. Dylan’s spanked me a little before and I’m interested enough to try more.”  “In that case then, you should know that physical pain is part of impact play no matter what aspect you try. And it can bring up more mental pain too, depending on the individual. Which is why I want to start with testing some implements on this pig. We can go through a few things and you’ll get a sense of them and then we can talk about what you might actually want to try or if any of it seems wrong for you. I’m also going to be much more diligent with your safe word in these lessons than any before. So what is your safe word?”  “Pizazz, Roger,”  “Good. Remember you can use it whenever you need to, even today. If things get too much for you I want to know.”  “I know. I promise I’ll use it.” You were struck by how serious Roger’s tone was but understood it, after the conversation you’d had during your previous lesson. And, for the first time, you wondered if this would be a topic Roger would find hard to teach.  “Thank you. I’ll check in with you every so often, especially when we move onto the practical lesson and you’re experiencing it firsthand. So, if I ask you what your safe word is, I need you to respond as loudly and as quickly as you can. It’s a way for me to gauge how well you’re coping and to make sure you’re still capable of using it.”  “That makes sense.”  Having assured himself of your understanding, Roger took a deep breath and smiled again, “Well, I have a range of different implements you can use here today but we’ll start with the most basic,” he held his two hands in front of him, palms towards you, fingers wiggling, “Hands.”  You smiled at his showmanship but your gaze lingered on the offered view. His hands had always seemed quite lovely, even when he was just teaching you biology. The way they moved so delicately as he demonstrated necessary scientific processes for the class, or rapidly twirled pens around his fingers to impress new students. Of course, you’d felt them too since you’re first private lesson, the way he caressed you and held you. His fist tightening in your hair and his fingers plunging into you and making you moan and the way he’d gently stroke your skin as you were both regaining your breath. You were excited to feel the power in them as he spanked you.   “Spanking is entry level impact play. Everyone and their mother has heard of it. It’s a common thing to see in pornography and even in Hollywood movies when they want to show sex as kinky. And because you don’t need more than your hands it’s easy to experiment with. Do you want to see what it looks like?”  You nodded and Roger stepped closer to the pig, angling himself so you could see.   Suddenly there was the sound of a clap as Roger’s palm hit the pig’s flesh.   “See how my hand was open and my palm was flat?” Roger demonstrated again but slower so the hit barely made a sound, “But what if I do this?” He hit the pig again but changed the position of his hand. The sound of his hand colliding with the pig was deeper the second time around, “If you cup your hand, curve it slightly, you can change the way the spank feels and sounds. Just like clapping.”  You experimentally clapped your hands together, first with open palms and then with each hand cupped so that the fingers wrapped around the back of the other.  “Now you give the pig a try.”  Feeling a surge of nervously excited butterflies, you got out of your seat and took your place at the pig. With a breath and a swallow you quickly brought your hand down. The slapping sound seemed to echo in the quiet room but it wasn’t as crisp as the noise Roger’s hits had made. With a look to Roger for permission, you tried it again, creating a slightly more impressive sound.  “Good, now cupped?”  You did it again, curving your fingers in a bit and bringing it down again. It felt more awkward than the open palm hit had so you repositioned yourself to hit the pig from a slightly different angle and tried once more.  “Don’t be afraid to pull your arm back further. The more your rear back, the more force will be in the spank. Like this,” he pulled his hand back past his ear and swung down hard, the spank echoing around you. “Of course, you can also spank from a nearer point too. Spanking, and a lot of impact play, is best if you mix it up a bit, don’t stay in one rhythm too long, do some spanks with your fingers spread, or change how hard or fast they are. I might give a sub two or three hard hits each with a pause between but then I’ll switch to a more rapid series of spanks that don’t have as much force behind them but come faster.”  You nodded and experimented with taking your arm back further, testing out ways to change the strength of each spank, until Roger finally called you to stop.  “How did that feel?” he asked as you took your seat again.  “My hand tingles.”  “That’s normal,” Roger laughed, “in fact it’s one thing I really enjoy about spanking by hand. The sub isn’t the only one who feels the spanks, the dom gets some of the pain in his hand too, especially if the intensity ramps up or there's a section of quick-fire spanks. And that can a) help the dom understand what the sub is feeling and work out how long the scene should go and b) brings a sort of intimacy to the scene that is harder to achieve with a tool.”  You hummed as you noted down what he’d said, “Have you ever spanked someone so much you injured your wrist or anything?”  “No.” Roger shook his head, amused by the question, “My wrists are pretty sturdy. But a few times I’ve been left with a stingy, tingly hand for an hour or two. Which brings me to an important note about pain. There are two main types of pain you can experience in impact play. We refer to them as thuddy and stingy.”  “Thuddy and stingy? What is this, an afternoon kids show?”  Roger rolled his eyes, “The names are simple but they explain exactly what they mean. Some types of impact will have a stingy sensation which is usually superficial. It won’t go deeper than the first few layers of skin and probably leaves the skin feeling warm and a little tingly or like sunburn, y’know? It’s typical of spanks and slaps. Thuddy pain is deeper, it gets into the fat and muscles and tissue and aches more. And I’ll go through which tools cause which sort of pain as I get to them. Generally though, people who enjoy impact play have a preference for one or the other.”  “And your preference is what?”  “Thuddy. Definitely. Although I prefer inflicting stingy.”  You hummed thoughtfully.  “Now, I’ll go into details about ways to actually incorporate spanking into a scene later. We can talk about it while we’re negotiating our scene. Today is just about the practicalities and sensations involved in the different types of impact play. So are you okay to move on?”  “Yup, definitely.” And then, sensing Roger might ask, you added, “Pizazz.” feeling pleased when you saw him smile. 

“I don’t expect us to delve too deep into them but I think I should touch on kicking, punching and slapping. Kicking and punching are things I’ve not done. They can, obviously, be quite painful. But they’re pretty self-explanatory. From what I understand about it, and what I’ve heard others who enjoy that kind of thing say, kicking and punching can both be very intimate, similar to the way spanking by hand is, but in a more primal or animalistic way. Punching is, of course, done without any accessories but kicking often includes footwear of some kind. A lot of time it’s something like a steel-toed boot or something with a bit of weight to it.”  “That isn't something I want to try.” You’d learnt a lot about how far kink went so weren’t completely shocked that some people would enjoy something as forceful as kicking, but it did take you by surprise to hear Roger talking about it.  “What about slapping?”  “How is that different to spanking?”  “Well, you’re right, they are similar. But slapping generally refers to slapping on the face whereas spanking is usually on the, uh, derriere. Of course you can slap or spank other parts too. For clarity’s sake, if I say slapping assume I mean on the face whereas spanking is anywhere else on the body.”  You thought about it for a second, “I’m not sure if I’d be game to try it but I do want to know more.”  “Slapping can be fun. Again, it’s not one I do a lot but I have played with it in the past. It comes in handy for particular scenes and there’s a fairly bratty sub I’ve worked with who responds really well to it. The most important thing to know is that if you are slapping someone’s face only ever aim for the cheeks. There’s a lot of fragile places around the face and it’s close to the brain so you need to be careful not to do any lasting damage. Never hit the temples because you hit them with enough force and it can kill a person. Nose and ears are off limits too, anything that is important.  You knew enough about biology to know Roger wasn’t making those rules up for fun. Noses were easy to break and hitting an ear too hard could damage someone’s hearing. But face slapping did still intrigue you. 

“Well, I’d say the next – let's call it the next level – of impact play is paddling.” He picked up what looked to be a wooden plank with a handle. It was an inch or two longer and wider than his hand with small holes cut out in a repeating pattern over the flat side so you could look right through it. “They don’t always look like this. Paddles come in lots of different shapes and sizes. This is a wooden one but they’re also frequently made of leather and sometimes the leather ones will have one side that’s a little more padded than the other. That gives you a bit of versatility with the pain. You can start off lightly with the padded side to get you in the zone and then during the scene switch it to the firmer side that hurts more. Or, if you don’t have access to a paddle at all, you can substitute a hairbrush.” He picked the hairbrush up and waved it back and forth.  “And that-” you pointed at the hair brush, “will feel the same as that?” you pointed at the wooden paddle, not quite able to reconcile the two in your mind.   “Not exactly the same but close. Honestly you can get really creative with impact play and not spend any money to get nearly the same results. I mean a plastic hairbrush might take a few extra hits or a little more force to really bruise someone but they’ll still end up sore from it. Or, if the hairbrush doesn’t do it for you, dig through your draws and see what else you can find. Wooden spoons, cutting boards, rulers, leather belts, spatulas, rolling pins, ping pong paddles, anything you can get your hands on. Just be mindful of how easily they’d break or them causing more pain than you expect.”  Again, you weren’t necessarily surprised by the lengths people would go to for sexual gratification, as Roger had put it, but it was a bit astounding. Still, you noted it all down just in case.   “Now a paddle generally falls under the stingy category but you do tend to get a deeper bruise than with your hand. Different factors could alter the way it feels too. If you put less force into it the pain will fall more on the thuddy side, same goes for if your hits are slower. But the pain call also be influenced by the size of the paddle, the material it’s made out of, the texture of it.”  “Texture?”  “Sometimes paddles have added texture, so they aren’t just a smooth, flat board. They might have metal studs that are more raised than the surface of the blade – the part you hit with – or ridging that will imprint the skin. This one has holes in it which definitely changes the feeling, makes it more intense. As you strike and the blade hits, the holes do two things. They stop any air cushions forming that would lessen the impact and they sort of push the skin into the holes which means the pain isn't completely even along where was hit. Plus it also leaves these cool circle marks behind which is fun.”  You realised you’d held your breath through the explanation, eyes following the paddle as Roger waved it through the air and ran his hands over it unconsciously. You hoped he had something more beginner friendly at home, though you couldn’t pretend you weren’t turned on by the way he wielded his weapon.  “Using it is quite similar to spanking but your hand isn’t hitting, it’s holding onto the paddle handle. So you just pull back,” Roger’s arm went back and the paddle swung backwards,” and then hit,” he swung his arm forward, the paddle cutting through the air and landing directly against the soft flesh of the pig. It made a satisfying thwack sound on impact and when Roger’ brought it back again you could see the circular patterns he’d talked about.   He demonstrated a few more times before he handed the plank to you.   It was heavier than you’d been expecting, solid wood, but the handle fit into your palm comfortably. You ran your hands over the flat part, what Roger had called the blade, and felt the holes with your fingers. The weight made it a little hard to swing but not impossible. You managed to mark the pig as well, stroking the circular imprints with your fingers.  “Try the hairbrush,” Roger said, swapping it for the paddle.  Its handle wasn’t quiet as long, but it was lighter and you found your hits were harder with it, without you even trying.   “Something to be aware of if you use an ordinary household item, or even just a different sort of impact toy. Because it’s lighter you can pull it back further and swing harder. A dom has to be aware of how much is going into each hit and how much their sub can handle.” 

“So what’s after paddles?”  “Floggers.” Roger picked his up off the table, “This is a fairly typical flogger. As you can see it’s made of black leather. It has the handle which is the thickest part and then a number of smaller tails. The tails is where you get the most variation which can be a stylistic choice or just a side effect of its price and overall quality. There’s a trick for knowing if a flogger is good quality or not. It should be pretty evenly balanced between the handle and the tails, so you should be able to do this,” he held out a finger and balanced the flogger on it carefully, the handle pointing out one way and the tails dangling over the other.   You thought for sure it would tip forward onto the tails and tumble to the ground but it hung there perfectly.  “Sometimes there will be more tails or they'll look different but no matter what, it should be balanced.” Roger gave a practiced flick of his hand so the flogger leapt into the air and he was able to catch the handle before it fell. “From a more stylistic point of view, you could get a flogger with less tails but they’ll be made of braids of leather which makes them heavier and thicker. Braided tails are also likely to have knots in the ends which can be a bit scratchy and even draw blood. They don’t have to be made of leather either. Rubber floggers are also popular. The tails on them tend to be more rectangular in shape, still flat but they have more edges and it actually feels like you’re being hit with more tails then there really are. And if you’re looking to really fuck someone up you can get hemp floggers. Sometimes they’ll look similar to this leather one but hemp is fairly stiff material and sometimes the tails will be shaped so that they’re sort of squiggly rather than flat lines. The squiggles hurt like a bitch, especially if they have knots at the end. Definitely start off with simple leather and work up once you’re more experienced.” Roger dragged the ends of the tails over his hand as he spoke, “I’d say this falls into the more thuddy type of pain. It can cover a large area of your body since the tails spread out and each of them creates an individual pain point. And because you’re being hit six or seven or nine or however many times at once, you can build up quite a rapid movement over a short period of time.”  You eyed the dancing tails as Roger moved his hand through them, “How long are the tails? Isn’t it a bit dangerous to have so many bits flying in all directions?”  Roger laughed, “Well yeah, kinda. I mean, that’s BDSM for you though, it gets dangerous which is why we’re all obsessed with safety. It’s a good thing to have noticed though, well done. The tails on this one are on the shorter side but some floggers will have much longer ones which means the dom can stand further back and still inflict a lot of pain. But you’re right, you do have to be mindful of the length and where they’re flying because a longer tail can potentially wrap around to somewhere you aren’t intending to hit. For instance, if you’re standing behind a person and flogging the back of their shoulder, you don’t want one of the tails to fly past their shoulder and around their neck. That would be incredibly painful and probably not what they expected or wanted from the scene.”  “So you have to take into account the length of the tails when you’re negotiating the scene then? And know where on the body to focus the hits so you don’t risk causing the wrong sort of pain and ending it early.”  “Exactly. That’s why negotiating the scene is important. Then both the dom and the sub will know what they want to achieve, what they want to get out of the experience, and they can tailor things to fit better. A lot of doms who are into impact play are likely to have multiple versions of their favourite toys – I myself have a few different paddles at home, I just didn’t bring them all in with me today – so by talking through what you want they’ll be able to choose the style of toy that will best fit the scene.”  “So how do you use a flogger then? Is it the same as spanking and paddling where you just swing your arm forward?”  “Sort of. Floggers have a few different ways to use them. There is of course the single strike option where, yeah, you do just hit them like you would with a paddle. I find that you don’t need to bring your arm back so far though, the movement comes from your elbow more than your shoulder.” Roger bent his arm so his hand and the flogger were roughly head height and then brought it down on the pig, “And you can change the angle of your single strike so that you hit them overhand or underhand or from one of the sides.” He demonstrated each direction as he said them, first bringing the flogger down from above, then swinging it up from below, then from the right side and finally a backhanded hit from the left. “But you don’t have to just pick a side to hit from. Paddles and hands are limited in how you can swing them but floggers have more movement. One way to use them is to swing them in a circle.” He moved back towards the pig to demonstrate, standing side on so that the tails whipped around and struck the pig, “I like starting off with circles because you can keep the pressure quite light. The tails sort of brush over the sub as they pass and it can be a good way to slowly build up. And then you can move into a figure eight as you get a bit harder.” Roger shifted his circles so they made a sideways eight in the air, subtly adjusting his stance so that the tail swished over the pig’s skin on both the forward and back motion.   You watched, awe-struck by how easily Roger swung the flogger, falling into a rhythm quickly. It wasn’t hard to imagine how he’d suddenly change the speed or the force of the swing when you were least expecting it.  

You were brought back to the present by Roger clearing his throat as he stilled the flogger, “The figure eight is why you should practice your backhand swing as much as any other. Because the tails will hit the sub on both the forward and back swings and you want them to be as even as possible.” He flipped the flogger in his hands, holding the handle out to you.   It felt smooth and cool in your hand, lighter than the paddle had been. You swished it experimentally, trying to get a sense of how it felt in motion.”  “Show me your overhand hit.” Roger said, leaning back against the nearest desk to watch.   You tried to imitate how he’d swung it, elbow bent, flogger raised.   It must have been good enough because Roger nodded and said, “how about underhand?”  He kept calling out different directions for a while, testing your reactions but you felt it helped you get a better grip on the toy and you found yourself adjusting how you held it so your movements became more fluid.   Roger watched you as you tried to keep up, his eyes locked onto your hands. Had you been looking, you might have caught sight of him subtly adjusting himself in his pants.   Finally, he seemed satisfied that you could successfully single strike from any direction and asked you to try the circle and figure eight motions.  They were harder to start, more awkward as you tried to work out the best way to move the flogger, and you caught Roger chuckling.”  “Oi, stop laughing,”  “Do you want some help?” he was still smiling but his request was genuine and when you nodded he stepped towards you. One of his hands moved to your waist as the other lay over yours on the handle of the flogger.  You tried not to grin too much as he did exactly why you’d hoped, and you felt him so close behind you.  “Like this,” His arm gently directed yours, the flogger beginning to move in a smooth circle.   “Oh, not so hard then,” you laughed, half turning to face him, “Y’know if someone walked in now this would be pretty hard to explain.”  His eyes darted to your lips, “Good thing we locked the door then.”  You hummed, waiting to see if Roger would close the gap.  He did a few seconds later, leaning in to kiss you softly. But the movement caused you both to forget about the flogger, your hands falling out of rhythm, and the tails whacking against your outstretched arms as they fell.   “Ow,” you both groaned, Roger stepping away from you.  It was disappointing but the disappointment was a little confusing. Surely you weren’t hoping for your professor to kiss you when you had no intention of sleeping with him that night.   Roger laughed, “Maybe that’s enough of the flogger today.”  “Might be for the best. Good thing I was so bad at it, otherwise we might have been really hurt.”  “You weren’t that bad. You actually looked good with it before I brought in the circles. Quite sexy really.”  “Thanks,” you said softly, trying to hide how pleased you were at that praise, “What else is there then?” 

“There's only one more that I can demonstrate but then there’s a few others I’ll touch on quickly too. So the last one I own is a crop.” He picked it up off the table, his fingers sliding along the length of it’s handle as he spoke, “This one I would put in the stingy category. It’s fast and sharp. Again, you can get crops in a few different styles. They will all have a handle like this, long and thin and probably with a slightly thicker point towards the end that’s easy to hold onto. The difference will be in the bit you hit with. This one is based on the sort of riding crop that's used on horses, so it’s quite plain. There’s just this loop of leather which hangs off the end. But others can be more decorative. I’ve seen crops which had ends shaped like hearts or that had studs pushed into them. Some of them are padded and some have a more rounded shape. We like our variety.”  “It looks scarier than the others I think,”  “Yeah, they’re quite intimidating aren’t they. And if you do it right, it’ll make a noise through the air, which just adds to how intimidating it can be.”  “Can you show me how to swing it now?”  “Absolutely. Now, you want to stand a bit further back with a crop because there is such a long handle. And the magic is in the wrist with these. You just flick the wrist and...”  You could hear the whooshing sound of it flying through the air before it cracked against the pig.  “Now some crops are more bendy and some are more stiff so, if you get one, you’ll want to practice swinging it a bit before you use it on a person, to get a feel for it. The flexibility of it might dictate how you stand or how strong the swing has to be. Give this one a go though.”  You felt oddly powerful as you took the crop and tightened your fist around the end. For a moment a vision of you decked out in leather dominatrix gear popped into your head and you nearly laughed. Unfortunately, the intimidating whooshing noise Roger had achieved was not as easy for you to make as you’d hoped, and the imagined power soon dissipated as you struggled to make the weapon sing.   Roger however was not disappointed. “It takes practice,” was what he said when you lamented your inability to create the sound, “And you don’t have to have the sound to make a good hit. It’s just kind of cool.”  When you still seemed disappointed he sighed.  “If it’s any help, I can’t always make the sound either. And besides, I wasn’t intending to use that one on you, unless you really, really want to. I mostly brought it to show you as an interesting part of your theory lessons. And so you’d have a sense of what a cane is like, even though I don’t have any of them to demonstrate.”  “A cane? Like....caning? Like what Victorian kids used to have done if they misbehaved or whatever?”  Roger laughed, “Kind of, yeah. It does have a history in corporal punishment. Which, might I add, wasn’t just for Victorian kids. It was still a thing when I was a kid. We didn’t get caned, more likely to be whacked over the knuckles with a ruler, but still. I don’t think it really left schools until the 80s.”  “Jesus,”  “Yeah. Occasionally I do wish I could bring out a ruler to shut a kid up,” he winked in jest, “Anyway, caning for BDSM is similar and uses the same sort of tool. A cane, funnily enough. Canes are long and thin like a crop but without the leather flap at the end or the more padded handle area. Traditionally they’re made from rattan which is a type of plant, but you can also get synthetic canes which are covered in leather. In my experience synthetic canes are actually harder. Not to use, I mean in the way they feel when you’re hit with them. The traditional rattan ones require a lot of maintenance though. You have to water them between uses, literally soaking them in a bath of water so they don’t dry out and break. But the benefit with a rattan cane is that if you get it home and realise you’d like something a bit shorter, you can cut it off yourself and just sandpaper down the rough edge and it’s good as new.”  “So are there any different version aside from synthetic? All the other toys had lots of variety.”  “Hmmm, not really. Most of the difference will be in how thick the cane is, which can effect the feel of it a lot. A thinner cane will sting when it hits and the force will make the skin hug the cane so it leaves these long marks behind. A thicker cane though might sting less but it’ll still hurt a lot, just more thuddy. And you tend to get more bruising from the thicker ones.”  “And do you use it the same as a crop?”  “Mostly, yes. The biggest difference is that you can use a larger section of a cane. The crop has the specific bit at the end to hit with whereas a cane doesn’t have that limit. The most important thing to remember is to try and aim a little short of where you want to hit because if you hit with a part of the cane six inches down, those top six inches are going to hit as well, and with force behind them they will wrap around the person’s side or arse or whatever until they make contact. But other than that, it’s a similar motion from the wrist and uses a similar amount of energy. And canes can make the cool whippy noise too.” 

“Is that everything then?”  “One last one, really quick. Whips.”  “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of whipping in kink.”  “Yeah, it’s one of those things that gets mentioned a lot even if comparatively fewer people are actually into it. But everyone’s heard the phrase chains and whips in relation to BDSM. There's a few different varieties of whips but I don’t really know enough about them to know the difference. They all look like whips to me. Very cowboy. But they’re one of the more intense versions of impact play. The pain they cause is quite sharp and stingy and will be very localised to a specific point because they have the one tail, as opposed to floggers which have multiple tails. Whips are very capable of breaking the skin though and feel very intensely painful. I do not recommend them unless you discover you’re a masochist and you’ve tried everything else impact play has to offer.”  “No need to tell me twice, Professor. Definitely do not want to try whips any time soon.”  “That’s very reasonable. And that is all of the impact play options I wanted to go through. There’s a little more to cover regarding safety before I let you go for the night, but how about we put the pig away and hope no one notices it’s been marked by crops and floggers.”  You chuckled and quickly moved to help Roger push the trolley back towards the freezer, locking the dead pig away securely, and to help pack up his toys.  When everything was tidy again you re-took your seat, Roger taking the one beside you. It made the end of the lesson feel less like a lesson and more of just a casual chat, the topic of which happened to be BDSM.   “The most important thing to remember when trying impact play is which parts of the body are safest to hit.” He paused for a moment, considering you, “But you’ve been studying biology for a while now, Ms Y/L/N. Care to guess which parts are safe and which parts you should avoid?”  You hadn’t expected to be asked so took a moment to consider your answer, “Well, the arse obviously. Ummm.... I guess I’d assume the best places to hit are the bits with more meat on them.”  “Very good. Entirely correct. There’s a reason most people think about spanking on the arse and that’s because it’s one of the best places to spank. Well, that and the fact that spanking is used so frequently in punishment scenes where you bend the naughty girl over your knee. But, yes, hitting the arse is good. Hitting the thighs can also be good, though the bit just under the arse cheek where it connects to the thighs hurts a lot. Which isn’t to say don’t ever spank there, just be mindful that it’s going to hurt more than directly on the arse cheeks. The pecks or breasts can be good places to hit, even the upper back where the shoulder blade is can be good. What about places to avoid hitting? Any ideas what those might be?”  You hummed in thought, “I’d imagine you wouldn’t want to hit the spine since it’s so important.”  “Right again Ms Y/L/N. The spine is definitely something to avoid. I don’t like hitting on the back much at all because there's too much important stuff there but I do know some others who don’t mind using a flogger there, especially while warming up before things get too intense. There are also the kidneys to watch out for,” he moved his hand to press against the spot on his own back, “because, as you no doubt know, part of the kidneys stick out under the ribcage so aren’t fully protected. Then a little lower down, just above the arse, is the tailbone which should also be avoided.   “What about the neck? That would be bad to hit too, right?”  “Yup. And that’s something to watch for if you’re doing anything on the shoulder blades. The spine of course runs all the way up the back of the neck and hitting there can do some very serious and lasting damage if you’re not careful. I know some people who will only flog the shoulder blades if the sub is wearing a collar because that adds a bit of protection around the C5 and C6 vertebrae but even so, better safe than sorry in my opinion. The front of the neck is also not good to hit since that’s where the vocal cords and all that is.”  “Which is why you have to be careful with a flogger’s tails, right?”  “Right. But what about on the front? Is there anywhere else you’d avoid?”  “Pussy,” you said with a laugh.  Roger laughed too, “Actually, depending on how it’s done, spanking a pussy can be quite enjoyable.”  “Wait really?”  “Yeah. I prefer doing it with my hand since you can feel when it makes the sub wet but it’s not totally unusual to use paddles or crops or even floggers down there too. I’m sure some people whip as well.”  You gulped at the thought.  “The biggest area to avoid on a person’s front side is the diaphragm and middle of the chest. There’s a lot of important stuff in there and a lot less tissue than elsewhere.”  “Do people get badly hurt doing impact play?” you glanced over the list of places Roger said to avoid. It made it seem like almost any spanking was running the risk of more than just some bad bruising.   “Sometimes.” Roger said seriously. He paused for a moment, thinking, and then continued, “Things can go wrong. And when you’re playing with intentionally hurting someone, things going wrong can be very serious. I won’t pretend there aren’t stories of people trying impact play and ending up paralysed or worse. But if you’re careful, if you pay attention and only hit certain areas and are mindful of how hard you’re hitting, then you’re going to be fine. And that’s why we come up with safe words and talk through scenes before we do them. So that you can minimize those risks and have a chance to communicate any worries or concerns.”  “But how can safe words help if you say them after you’ve already been hurt too much?”  “Well, for one, even if you’ve been hurt badly, using your safe word can stop things from being made worse. But you don’t have to wait until you’re hurt to use the safe word. Yes, if I spank you four times in a row and the fourth one feels so bad you can’t go on, then you should use your safe word before I give you a fifth. But you could also use it after the third hit when you aren’t sure if you want the fourth. And safe words aren’t just about physical pain. If you start off excited but then feel anxious after two hits you are well within your rights to safe word. You don’t have to wait until the damage is done. And, obviously, it’s not always easy to tell if that one hit more is going to be enough to make you want to stop. You can’t always know if the next hit is going to catch your neck wrong and do serious damage. But if you feel at all worried that it might, speak up. Not just worried either. If you feel distracted or you think I’m not paying enough attention to how I’m spanking you, or if I move to spank and area you don’t want me to touch, tell me. There is no wrong reason to use a safe word, even if we’re only a few minutes into the scene. I’ve said before that I’d rather you tell me to stop than for us to go on and you not feel comfortable, and I mean it.”  “I know, I guess I just never really thought about it being for mental stuff as well as physical.”  “Mmm, I should have checked that.”  “Well, let’s face it, you probably tried and I just didn’t pay attention. But, y’know, you’re very good at reassuring me when I start to get nervous.”  “I hope that’s a good thing.”  “It definitely is. I think if I didn’t have the reassurance, I’d chicken out of some things.”  “As long as you’re aware of the difference between some healthy nerves and anxiety that could be a sign you should slow down. And that you keep telling me how you’re feeling.”  “Of course I will.”  “Good girl.” 

An understanding seemed to pass between you as you sat in near silence, eyes on the other. Until Roger drew in a long breath and stood up.  “Right well, I think that’s just about everything. Obviously we weren’t able to see the levels of bruising that different implements can cause but it’s kind of dependent on the individual anyway. Everything can influence the severity of bruises and other marks. Tell me what a bruise is.”  “It’s broken blood vessels under the skin which cause discolouration.”  “Bingo. Now, obviously being spanked with a hand will leave less obvious bruises than being hit with a crop will and usually a paddle will bruise less than....i don’t know, a leather belt. But there's lots of factors to consider. The sub’s age, diet, the colour of their skin, their hydration level, how much sun exposure they’ve had recently, stress levels, hormones. And the biggest of all is how much stimulus they receive on that part of the body. The more you hit a spot, the deeper it will bruise. So, don’t expect bruises and marks to appear exactly the same every time you make them. There are some ways to heighten or lessen marks left during BDSM, but I’ll go through those when you’re ready for our practical lessons. And we’ll also go through some ideas for popular scenes and positions before we settle on what our scene will look like.” Roger seemed to hesitate for a few seconds, “Of course, it’s not so late we have to stop. If you did want to start testing out some light impact play, or if you wanted to revisit a previous topic, you’re more than welcome to come back to mine.”  “No,” you said much too fast, the suggestion catching you completely off guard.  “Okay, no problem,” Roger said, his eyes downcast.  “I didn’t mean...just that tonight’s not great timing.” You’d really thought you’d got out of having to talk about it but you could see Roger was going to ask what you were talking about when on a regular tutoring night you’d likely still be in his bed. All the same you couldn’t quite make eye contact as you explained, “My period started last night, that’s all. Makes things a bit awkward.”  “Oh is that all?”  You shrugged, “Yeah.”  “Well there’s no need to feel awkward or embarrassed about that. And there’s no reason to hide it from me. Aside from the fact that I’ve been married and had kids, I’ve also been teaching biology for longer than I care to count, so I’m very familiar with the reproductive processes and the reality of the menstrual cycle.”  “I knew you were going to say something like that.”  “Because it’s true. And besides, periods are important to factor into our lessons because they can change how you’ll respond to various kinks. Fluctuating hormone levels can change how much you enjoy or desire sex, as well as the physical sensation of different forms of touch. A lot of women find breast stimulation uncomfortable in the lead up to their period because their breasts become tender at that stage of their cycle. It can also make vaginal sex undesirable, at least in the first couple of days if not longer, whether because of a physical discomfort or pain, or just because it makes sex messier and more annoying to clean up after. The hormonal shifts in a menstrual cycle can also effect libido too, either stopping you from feeling aroused or causing hyper arousal. And all of that is important to consider, especially when we get to other things like orgasm denial. So, don’t feel you have to hide your periods from me, okay? I want to know if something is going to effect how enjoyable these lessons are for you. And plus, I factored periods into the timeline, remember? If you want to postpone for a week we can.  His little speech did put you at ease a bit, the weight of admitting the truth no longer as heavy now that he knew, but it still wasn’t an especially comfortable conversation, “Well, I should be okay to go in a few days.”  “Would you be up for having sex on one of the last days of your period when your flow is a little lighter? Or would you rather wait until after it was finished?”  You tried not to cringe too much upon hearing Roger talk about your flow, “After I think. I don’t know. How do you feel about it?”  Roger shrugged, “If we were just having sex without the kinky stuff I’d be okay with period sex. It’s a little more effort since we’d need to put towels down and all that but I’m not completely opposed to it if we’re both in the mood. However, I think since we’re playing with BDSM it’s probably a good idea to wait.”  You nodded, glad the topic was almost settled, “Yeah, that makes sense. I think I’d feel too self-conscious to enjoy any period sex but you’re definitely right about the BDSM stuff. Just makes it easier for my first time trying things out if I’m not worrying about, um, bleeding everywhere.”  Roger gave you a reassuring smile which made your heart flutter, grateful he hadn’t made things too difficult or drawn out, “That’s settled then. We can put a pin in all of this for now and come back to it when you’re ready.”  “Thanks. Will Friday suit? I think I should be right by then.”  “Friday sounds great.”  “Really? You don’t have to, like, pick up the kids or anything?”  Roger shook his head, amused, “No. It is technically my weekend with them but they’re both staying at friend’s placed over night so I won’t see them until Saturday. Friday we can start testing some things and if we need to, we can come back next Monday and go through more. And I finish a bit earlier on Fridays so maybe we could start a bit earlier.”  “Yeah that works for me.”  “Great. I guess we should get out of here then.” Roger ushered you from the classroom and walked beside you all the way to the carpark, your footsteps echoing down the corridors. He chatted to you quietly about non-kinky topics, as if you’d merely ended up walking the same direction by accident, just in case anyone was looking.   You were almost sad to reach your car, drawing the conversation to an end, “This is me.”  “One last thing, Ms Y/L/M.”  “Mmm?”  “For homework-”  “Homework?”  “Yes. For homework I want you to watch some porn with impact play in it. You’ll find a few examples linked in a document I’ve dropped in our folder but feel free to find your own too. It can be spanking by hand or flogging or any other form of impact we discussed today, whatever turns you on most. Because I want you horny when I see you on Friday. I want you to spend all week thinking about naughty sluts who get spanks, knowing you’ll soon be one of them. I want you excited to be hit and wet at the thought of me spanking your arse and cunt while I fill your holes with cock. Is that clear?”  Roger had leant closer as he talked and your stomach did a backflip as he stood up. All you could do was nod, completely lost for words as Roger chuckled and walked into the dark towards his own car.   

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Mega Leech

Like every cartoon ever made, today's episode is the environmental episode. We all know how high-quality those tend to be, right?

Let's get into the twelfth (chronologically the tenth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Mega Leech.

We start off with the shyest girl in Marinette's class, Mylene, mentally preparing herself for a protest with her boyfriend, tough guy with a soft side, Ivan.

Wow, real subtle foreshadowing there, writers.

The thing Mylene and Ivan are protesting is something called the “Oxygen Project” by Mayor Andre Bourgeois, which will supposedly create fresh air for Paris. To be fair, this isn't just a random character trait they slapped onto Mylene like what we've seen with other episodes this season to justify their new Akuma forms. Back in the Season 2 episode “Reverser”, a major plotpoint for the final act was that Andre was about to approve a project that would send trash into space, which Mylene and Ivan were protesting at, before the titular Akuma threatened to send the trash back to the Earth. This show can get weird at times.

Even though they're the only two protesters, Andre still has Officer Roger Raincomprix take them into custody. To his credit, Roger does try to resolve things diplomatically, and is very hesitant to take them to his car (even though they aren't handcuffed and there's no divider), he only does so when his job is threatened by Andre. And let's get the obvious joke out of the way now because there's going to be a lot of moments like this.

Marinette sees the event from her house, and after running late to school resulting in a brief moment of Unfunny Marinette Slapstick, tells the class what's going on. Surprisingly, instead of ignoring the whole situation like every other episode she's been in, Ms. Bustier decides to actually be a teacher for once and calls Roger. She says that she'll supervise their protest while the rest of the class comes with her.

Back at the park, Andre is about to chop a tree down with a chainsaw, but is soon called out by Ms Bustier. Mylene calls out Andre for the obviously not eco-friendly project, but he soon plays an ad for the Oxygen Project.

Huh. So this is how Druidia's canned air business took off.

To be fair, this is actually a funny scene, as it does feel like an over the top commercial you'd see, especially the kind that gets promoted by a politician. Of course, this funny joke is soon followed yet another reminder that Marinette likes Adrien, because the writers assume the audience will forget if they aren't bashed over the head with this knowledge every episode.

And as usual, Adrien ignores Marinette's odd behavior around him, but that's more because he's distracted by the ad, because he was told it was for perfume (did the oxygen line not give away the purpose of the commercial?). Quick question: Why is Gabriel taking part in this? Why is a fashion designer being commissioned to create a bottle for a government-sanctioned project? Does he just invest in random projects and hopes they'll go under so he can akumatize someone? As for Mylene, her classmates are naturally confused as to why she is opposed to this project if it's good for the environment. Her response is something that can ironically be used to criticize this very show when talking about the Oxygen Project.

We then get a moment where, of course, Chloe is the one to say she doesn't care about trees despite having no real prominence in this episode. Seriously, this is the only line she gets and it's to remind the audience how much of an irredeemable monster she is.

Oh my God, Astruc, why don't you just say she's a climate change denier while you're at it, seeing how you already view them as criminals? You clearly want to throw every negative character trait and label at her, don't you? If you're so crazy about hating her, why not make Chloe Captain Planet villain levels of evil?

Marintte points out the obvious flaw in Andre's plan to stop pollution by selling air in plastic bottles that can easily pollute the ocean, which gives the Mayor a lot of bad press, and even though she's the one to say this, Mylene still shames her for ignoring her attempts to get people to protest because she was busy. Yes, the show is seriously trying to blame Marinette for not doing enough to help the environment on top of her various other responsibilities like PROTECTING THE CITY OF PARIS ON A DAILY BASIS.

The families of the kids come to support the protest, and Andre tries to call Gabriel for help, but he basically tells him to figure it out himself, supporting my earlier theory in the process. He transforms into Shadowmoth and sends an Akuma and an Amok to Andre. This transforms him into Malediktator again and and gives him a Sentimonster ally, the titular Mega Leech.

Mega Leech is another example of a Sentimonster with a simple design but a really interesting set of powers. As soon as its summoned, Malediktator jumps into his mouth and summons an army of minature clones of himself (making me wonder why they didn't call the Sentimonster “Micromanager”) to jump into the ears of civilians and control them directly like Plankton in that one episode of SpongeBob. It's a pretty terrifying concept and a really clever extension of Malediktator's mind control powers.

Adrien transforms into Cat Noir and tries fighting off the Malediktator clones, but obviously gets overwhelmed by their sheer numbers. Marinette soon pretends to be possessed by a Malediktator clone to get Mylene to run away while she transforms, once again summoning her Lucky Charm as soon as she meets up with Cat Noir because the animators really want to show off the new suit. She uses the Lucky Charm, a single ice skate, to break the mayoral sash around one of the Malediktator clones and frees the Akuma and Amok, but Mega Leech is still around, along with the brainwashed civilians. She and Cat Noir realize that the Akumas and Amoks must have multiplied when Malediktator cloned himself. Ladybug tells Cat Noir to distract the Malediktator clones (the latter actually acknowledging how he always has to do that)

Ladybug meets up with Mylene in the sewer where she had escaped to earlier, only to find the girl crying. Ladybug offers Mylene the Mouse Miraculous, but she turns her down because of how scared she is. Unlike when they tried to do the same thing by having Zoe doubt herself in “Queen Banana”, this scene makes sense because Mylene has consistently been shown to be a very timid person. It feels much more believable to see this from her. Granted, it's undermined by Ladybug saying that Mylene is already like a superhero because of her protesting for a good cause. I get she's trying to reassure her, but the whole environmental lesson is kind of muddled by saying Marinette doesn't care about the environment because of how busy she was FIGHTING CRIME. Thankfully, the lesson is more about bravery being able to move onward in spite of fear.

Nevertheless, this still motivates Mylene to take the Mouse Miraculous and transforms into Polymouse.

And boy, is it bad. I'm not trying to body shame Mylene here, I'm glad they didn't try and slim her down either, but I'm really not a fan of the color scheme for the suit. With the use of pink and white, it looks way too similar to Pigella.

I get that they were trying to make Mylene look like a mouse, but I'm just really not a fan of the white gloves and boots. They stick out compared to Pigella, where they actually blended in with the color scheme. Then there's the actual suit itself. Why give the suit a hood if you're going to make it yet another skintight jumpsuit? At least with Carapace, they had more armor to help him resemble a turtle, but there's no excuse here. And finally, the hair. How can you take a girl with a very vibrant hairstyle, make it pink when transforming, cover it up, and then call it a day? There are just so many questionable design choices here. I don't think it's as laughably bad as Shadowmoth's suit, but it's really one of the weakest hero suits to be introduced recently.

I'd give my thoughts on how to improve it, but thankfully one of my anons gave their own ideas for a redesign.

Thank you to whoever sent this in. You certainly get character design better than some of the animators on this show, and that's saying a lot given they're supposedly better than the ones at Pixar.

Ladybug gives Polymouse the ice skate to use as a makeshift flail with her weapon, a jump rope, while she fights the Maledikator clones. Polymouse uses her power, Multitude, which turns her into a swarm of miniature clones to take on the horde of Malediktator clones and free the brainwashed civilians. Ladybug meets up with Cat Noir, but big surprise, Cat Noir gets brainwashed by a Malediktator clone. Sure, Polymouse frees him from the control, but I'm surprised Ladybug isn't more used to this happening by now.

Ladybug then gathers several temp heroes to help them out. She gives Kagami the Dragon Miraculous to become Ryuko, Nino the Turtle to become Carapace, Max the Horse to become Pegasus, and she gives back the Bee Miraculous to the super amazing Zoe so she can once again become the world's greatest superhero, Vesperia. There’s a brief joke where Cat Noir rushes to join the team pose, which could be seen as foreshadowing for future events, and if it is, good job, writers.

Pegasus uses his Voyage to teleport Vesperia above Mega Leech, where she uses her Venom on the Sentimonster, while Ryuko uses her Wind Dragon to gather all the scattered Akumas and Amoks freed by Polymouse for Carapace to trap in his Shelter. Ladybug purifies all the Akumas and Amoks, gives Andre a Magical Charm, tells him to rethink the Oxygen Project, and the heroes leave where Ladybug takes back all their Miraculous.

Back at the park, Andre decides to plant more trees in what's obviously not a desperate attempt to save his reputation. He may say he's doing the right thing, but I doubt investors will be happy that the project's being aborted just like that. We get one more hilarious moment where Marinette stutters around Adrien, who soon goes home and gets sent to his room by his father (because we just needed an Angstdrien Depreste scene this episode for some reason), who fidgets with his ring and stares ominously as the episode ends. And in case you live under a rock, this reignited a certain fan theory I'll be talking about in another post.

Overall, I thought this was a pretty decent episode. The environmentalism subplot was pretty standard for episodes like this, with how the antagonist is a rich asshole who doesn't see how he's harming the environment, and gets his mind changed by a hopeful youth. I'm glad Andre isn't Captain Planet villain levels of evil here, though I am glad the episode acknowledges that there's no single solution to stopping pollution, and that there needs to be more unity if we need to help the planet's situation.

While it had a bumpy first act, things really started to get interesting as soon as the action started. Questionable design aside, I thought Polymouse (who didn't even name herself in the episode) had a good first outing with the use of her powers coupled with the use of the Lucky Charm. The first act with Mylene really showcased her character and her courage in the face of adversity well. Part of me kind of wishes we could have seen her interact with Ivan while she was transformed, but then again, he was still brainwashed I think.

The other heroes honestly felt shoehorned in during the climax. I get that they helped gather all the Akumas and Amoks, but there was really no buildup to them appearing like in other episodes with multiple heroes.

The one major problem I have is how the episode tries to blame Marinette for not being as kind as Mylene because she didn't know about the protest, even though, as I have stated multiple times, SHE ROUTINELY SAVES PARIS EVERY EPISODE. I think that counts as saving the planet.

This episode had some flaws, but it was still pretty enjoyable, and it was one of the better episodes this season so far.

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 312 Spoiler Analysis: Hero Turned Assassin

It’s Friday, my dudes!  That means the leaks for the new chapter is out!  This time, we’re focusing on our new lady assassin villain who we ended with last week.  Ngl, I love her design and concept.  I actually wouldn’t mind if she stepped on me 😳  All that aside, this was a damn good chapter, but I really hope Deku’s going to be ok taking her on by himself:

Alright, the chapter starts off with a little flashback of Hawks talking to Deku as Deku is suiting up to leave Central hospital.  Hawks reassures Deku that he should be ok from AFO and Shigaraki for now since they aren’t at full power yet.  Their best option would be to take Deku in alive rather than dead.  Hawks can only think of one person who might be capable of capturing Deku: the assassin woman.  Turns out, that woman was his senpai back at the Hero Safety Commision and she’s dangerous.

So, as far as we know, Deku’s most likely going to live several more days even if he does get captured.  However, he’s being hunted down by a highly skilled assassin who was also Hawk’s senpai back in the day.  The fact that Hawks of all people is warning Deku to run away from her if he can say something about her skills.  I can only guess how good her skills are, but I’d say they’re probably somewhere in the S-tier range if Hawks is afraid of her.

The next couple of pages help properly introduce our new villain: Lady Nagant!  A few points here: 1. The bullet is made from her hair which is colored dark blue and pink.  I personally love those two colors, so I’m glad to see that color scheme used on her.  Also hair bullets is such a great concept, 2. That rifle is definitely coming from her elbow which she can bring out and retract at will, which is badass as hell, 3. I looked up the word “Nagant” and it’s actually type of (Russian?) gun that ranges from a 7-shot revolver to a sniper rifle, so that’s a good Villain name for her, 4. She was a former hero under the Safety Commision who decided to go to the dark side for some reason.  Like, did she see the bad side of Hero Society and that caused her to change?  Did she see something in Villainy that caused her to change her POV?  I want to know what?, 5. Again, love her design like hoo boy, Horikoshi snapped with her. 

So, Deku’s on the run from her and he is completely on his own now that his phone is broken.  He doesn’t even know what happened to All Might 😭!  He’s also afraid that All Might and Hawks will be targeted by her.  Deku’s debating wheaher he should run or face Nagant face on.  With someone like Muscular, I wasn’t worried about Deku because he’s not only improved a lot since last time, but he’s taken on Muscular before so he knew what he was fighting.  But, this is a brand-new villain.  Not much is known about her and Deku has never fought her before.  I’d say run, but someone has to take her out.  Maybe Hawks will swoop in and have a reunion with his senpai.  Though, he doesn’t have wings now, so I’m not sure what he can really do against her besides have a chat…

And Deku is shot!  Not fatally thank god, but he did get hit.  Turns out Lady Nagant can actually curve her shots.  Even Deku’s Danger Sense couldn’t detect it in time good lord.  So she can just straight up made bullets that can curve too that is absolutely insane.  Any marksman would be jealous of her.  

Fun Fact of the Day: Based on Horikoshi-sensei’s comment of the week, Lady Nagant and her curve bullet are actually based off the 2008 film Wanted staring James McAvoy and Angelina Jolie (he even thanked Ms. Jolie!)!  I decided to IMDB the film to see if I remembered it and it turns out that I have actually seen a little of it before.  You know that gif of McAvoy smacking Chris Pratt’s face with a keyboard and the loose keys spell out “Fuck You”?  Yeah, that’s from Wanted.  Also, the curved bullet Horikoshi is talking about is when Jolie manages to “curve” a bullet enough to kill a group of assassins who were standing in a circle.  Look, I don’t know if physics can actually make that work in real life, but I’ll be damned if that doesn’t sound badass.

Back to the story, we have a bit of flashback to an old TV special that interviewed 100 active Noteworthy Heroes.  The 25th Pro Hero being interview is none other than Snipe, one of UA’s teachers!  It’s been a hot couple of years since we’ve seen him around.  Actually, we don’t even know if he’s alive…  Let’s assume he is and continue with the story.

Anyway, Snipe was having some good friendly competition in the Long-Range sniping with Lady Nagant back in the day.  He explains while his Quirk, “Homing” allows him to lock-on to anyone within a 600 Meter range, he can’t choose where his attack hits and the hit isn’t that powerful (Shigaraki could’ve actually gotten killed back in the USJ if Snipe wasn’t careful enough damn).  Lady Nagant, on the other hand, has a range of 3 Kilometers with insane accuracy.  I did some quick calculations and it turns out that 3KM = 3,000M!  That’s 5 times farther than what Snipe can do.  That is absolutely nuts!

Lady Nagant’s Quirk is called “Rifle”!  Turns out that the secret lies in her bullets made out of hair.  When she mixes her duel colored hair, it works like epoxy putty.  Epoxy putty is a substance that hardens over time.  It’s normally used as a seal for cracks and holes, and it’s both highly-resistant and unshrinkable when hardened.  So, when Lady Nagant pulls strands out of her hair to mix and mould them, she can harden that hair into a bullet which explains the dark blue and pink fibers in the speaker bullet she fired at Deku’s phone.  Apparently, she can make any kind of bullet she wants ranging from hollow bullets to curved bullets.  She can then load and fire those bullets from her rifle into her right arm.  God, there’s so much potential for a Quirk like this.  The only limit I can think of for this Quirk is if she runs out of hair for bullets similar to how if Ibara Shiozaki from Class 1-B (or 2-B now I guess) would run out of hair to use her Vines.  I wonder if Lady Nagant using her hair so much is the reason why it’s shorter now than when she was a hero.

I gotta say, I think this is one of the coolest and unique Quirks Horikoshi has come up with in a while.  It’s just so unique and imaginative!  I don’t think I could ever come up with an idea like this.  I like that her Quirk is almost like a 2-in-1 thing: the putty hair and the rifle in her arm.  They’re both different functions that work in tandem together.  I also love Nagant hero outfit!  She was rocking the long ponytail work, had a visor and antenna on her right eye for accuracy, and a belt holding her hair bullets.  She’s also freakin’ stacked as hell, but I’ll let this one slide because her design is so freaking great.  

Back to the present, Deku managed to catch the bullet, but his left gauntlet has been damaged.  So, it looks like Deku won’t be punching with his left arm unless All Might has some backup Mid-Gauntlets.  Thankfully he’s found out where Lady Nagant is based on where she shot from just twice.  She’s only about 1KM away and Deku wants to get in closer.  God, Deku is so freaking smart.  I want to know his IQ because it must be insanely high for him to figure out where a trained sniper would be after just 2 bullets.  Nagant also says that Deku’s the first one to deflect 2 of her bullets, so yeah, goddamn Deku!

Now we’re finally getting a look at Overhaul (I’m cool with calling him by his villain name instead of his real name for now btw).  Dude’s broken.  Just completely mentally broken.  I don’t think he even notices Deku.  All he can think about is how he wants to go back to his adoptive father, Eri’s grandfather, the man Overhaul put in a coma.  I thought that Overhaul would be confronting Deku himself, but it looks like he can’t.  Maybe him not being able to get his father out of his coma traumatized him real bad with a lot of guilt.  He probably wants to go back to try to heal his dad.  If he can do that, again, I wonder how now that his Quirk probably functions somewhere else besides his hands.

Anyway, Lady Nagant is kind of protecting Overhaul for now.  She most likely has a plan for him later since she mentions helping Overhaul as soon as she’s done with Deku.  Overhaul would be a useful ally since his Quirk can literally destroy and restore matter both living and non-living.  There’s also that glowing effect on her arm again.  If it’s not a taser like I thought before, then maybe it’s some kind of strength enhancer her Quirk gives her.  That arm gun has to be heavy.  IDK it’s not really explained.  

Flashing back to the Tartarus Prision Break, AFO and his ugly mug are talking to Nagant, calling her the “Traitor Hero” and how it’s an honor to meet her.  Again, Lady Nagant’s skills must be incredibly high enough to be recognize by AFO.  Also, her turning her back on Hero Society must’ve been a big story at the time.

AFO tells Lady Nagant of his plan to capture Deku as he predicted this earlier.  So, either AFO is stupidly good at predicting things or he has a future-sight Quirk like Nighteye had.  I want to say it’s the latter since AFO probably did pick up a Quirk like that sometime in the past.

Lady Nagant originally refused to listen to AFO in a very sassy way LOL!  But, AFO seems to have made a deal with her.  He even mentions that Nagant killed many of her fellow heroes to cause the fall of Pro-Hero Society.  Yeah, killing your fellow colleagues will definitely get you sent straight to Tartarus…  I REALLY need to know what made her turn to the Dark Side Anakin Skywalker style.

Also, personal theory that I highly doubt is true, but I wonder if Lady Nagant is the real “UA Traitor” not any of the students.  If she can make bullets that she can remotely talk through, then she could probably make bullets that can eavesdrop on people.  Maybe she listened in on UA and told the LoV about the training camp.  Or she was locked in Tartarus before then and I’m just projecting my hopes/fears onto her.  That could be it too.

Actually, I just realized that she could probably wrap objects around her bullets and fire them.  So, she probably wrapped a speaker around her hair and that’s how she remotely spoke to Deku.  Eh, she could still wrap some listening device around her hair and eavesdrop that way.  I’m just Pepe Silvia’ing the possibilities of Rifle at this point.

AFO uses Overhaul as an example of someone who became a victim of Pro-Heroes.  This give him enough leverage to make a deal with Lady Nagant.  So, as part of the contract, AFO granted her his Air Walk Quirk!  On paper, a passive Quirk like Air Walk doesn’t seem very useful.  But, this series has proved to us time and time again that passive/support Quirks can be just as/if not more amazing than raw-powered Quirks.  So, a Quirk like Air Walk can get Lady Nagant to so many places for her to fire her bullets.  It’s an incredibly useful Quirk for a sniper.  I do wonder what the limits of it are (because all Quirks have some sort of limitation), but I guess we’ll find that out later.  I really do wonder how Deku’s going to handle Lady Nagant and Overhaul though.  That’s going to be interesting.

Oh boy, that the chapter!  Solid chapter per usual.  Gah, my fingers hurt after typing so much.  I’m glad we got to know more about Lady Nagant!  She was a mystery for weeks, but we finally got some backstory on her.  So, some answers, but a lot of questions are left behind.  I’m actually glad we’re still sticking with Deku so far.  I still want to see Bakugo and Shoto, but we also haven’t gotten a purely Deku-centric arc for a while, so this is good.  Horikoshi truly doesn’t miss!  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be screaming about the next anime episode and Shoto Todoroki sakuga for the next week I will not apologize.         

Me @ Horikoshi every chapter:

Also, this is the Wanted scene I was talking about before:

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Barchie 5x06 Review.

So I usually just do one reivew for an episode but I have so many thoughts on this episode that I decided to split it in two otherwise it’ll be way too long, I figured two smaller reviews will be easier for people to read than one novel of a review. So in this part I am just going to be talking about the Barchie content. Then I’ll post a second half covering the rest of the episode later on today. As always these are just my own interpretations and opinions and naturally there are spoilers. So if you want to know my thoughts on Barchie this episode read on.

The Teacher’s Lounge

The first scene we get of Barchie is the one where they are in the teacher’s lounge. Now I have seen some people who are disappointed or using the argument that Barchie have become only sex and that they never talk. To me though I don’t think that is true at all and this scene is proof of that. When Archie first approaches Betty they are talking about the Polly situation. Betty is confiding in her friend about what is going on in her life and is sharing her worries with him. In return he tries to reassure her and comfort her when he reminds her that Alice had said Polly would disappear for days at time before showing up again. Another thing I’ve seen some people worry about is that Barchie are just using each other as a distraction. Again I totally understand why some shippers might be worred about that. But to me I’m kinda like well yeah they are. I mean maybe I misinterpreted the situation but I kind of thought that’s what their whole friends with benefits arrangement was about. It’s a friend that you can use to help you work out your frustrations and to be a distraction for a little while. Also this idea of using sex as a distraction and coping technique is hardly a new thing to riverdale both v*rchie and b*ghead have used sex in the past to distract themselves from their problems and they were both long term established relationships, them using sex that way didn’t negate from their very real feelings for each other. So I don’t think that just because Barchie are sleeping together in an attempt to escape for a moment, that means they are doomed or that their relationship is shallow and only about sex. If anything its a good thing because it shows that when they are feeling stressed and worried its each other that they choose to turn to. I think we often get so distracted by the sex part of the arrangement that its easy to forget about the friends part of friends with benefits. 

What I did love about this scene was how cute it was. Like when he calls her Ms Cooper and just the fact that he came to check up on how her day was going in the first place was adorable. And of course I loved that little hand touch it was just so soft. I also thought their smiles and that playful look Betty gets when she’s thinking about a plan for where they can hook up was really funny.

The Titanic Sails Again.

Growing up Titanic was my favourite movie and in my young mind it was the most romantic of movies, so naturally I was thrilled about that iconic titanic moment being recreated for Barchie. At the same time I couldn’t help but laugh a little at it too. That being said there is no denying that the scene was on fire.I mean I don’t know if its just Barchie and their chemistry or if its because they’re depicting adults now or a combination of both but is it me or do these sex scenes seem so much more explicit than they used to be? I mean holy firecracker.

 I also thought the song choice was perfect. I’ll be honest I had never heard it before but I do think the lyrics and also what the song is about is significant. I talked about songs a bit before and how in tv shows the lyrics can often hold significance because the producers have to shorten the song to fit the scene, therefore they have to chose not just a song that will fit the scene but which lyrics specifically work for the scene. Obviously it was a sexy scene so they wanted a sexy song to go with it. But the song, by the writers own admittion, is a love song. Bazzi said this about the song and I just think it is so in line with Barchie at the moment  "It became more than just a love song to a girl I was with…Lyrics were just flowing out, because I had felt this certain love and acceptance from this girl, and I wanted to take that and on a bigger scale give that back to people." This is exactly how I see Barchie’s relationship, its about love and acceptance. They have always loved each other, whether that’s romantically or as best friends or both. Also they have always been supportive and accepting of each other. 

So what about the lyrics that are actually in the scene. Well like I said some of them I just think are because they go with the whole sex of the scene. I mean lyrics like ‘hit it from the back and drive you wild’ and ‘hands on your body.’ Those don’t really need much analysis, pretty damn obvious why those lyrics were chosen. I mean you can look at it as simply its a song about sex and they are having sex, its not that deep. But I actually think there are some lyrics that could indicate that there’s something deeper to Barchie. The lyrics ‘girl I lose myself up in those eyes’ for example is actually a rather romantic line about how he is enamoured with the girl and I do feel like that’s how Archie feels about Betty and always has. Also the line ‘I just had to let you know you’re mine.’ Again this to me seems deeper than just sex. I do wonder if on a subconcious level they both see each other as theirs but that they aren’t willing to admit to themselves or each other. My favourite lyrics though are ‘feels like forever even if forever’s tonight.’ To me this makes me think that when they are together they let themselves feel all of those feelings they have for each other. Just for those moments they aren’t hiding, they just feeling it all and it feels like something that can last, it feels like forever. But neither one of them is ready to confront that so instead they just settle for tonight, they are willing to take what they can for now. 

I also feel like when they choose a song they probably do so knowing that either the audience have heard it before or that they will go and listen to it in full. So maybe there are some more clues as to where Barchie are heading in the rest of the song? (Probably not, its probably me just over analysing everything as per usual but hey let me live in my land of denial a little longer, its fun here.) In the full version of the song it starts out with a speaking part where the guy announces that he’s had a bit too much to drink and now he needs to tell her how he feels. I do wonder if this will be how Archie ends up confessing how he feels, like he has a bit too much to drink maybe at this point Glen has shown up and he’s feeling some jealousy and so he just goes to her and admits to how he’s feeling? Anyway back to the song, he then goes on to talk about how much he loves her smile and how he gets lost in her eyes. Again really romantic notions that we often associate with being in love. Later in the song there’s another similar lyric ‘Even when it's rainy, all you ever do is shine.’ Again this idea of someone being the sunshine in the rain is a very romantic notion and again I do feel like this is how Barchie feel about each other and kind of ties into what I was saying above about how when things are bad they turn to each other. I mean those scenes when they are together they look happy, they are both each others sunshine when things are getting stormy. 

Throughout the song there is also alot of the idea of belonging with the other person and this idea of a long term relationship. Outside of the obvious ‘you’re mine’ lyrics and the title of the song itself. I talked a little about the feeling like forever lyrics too but there are some other lyrics that I think are important. For example ‘Man, this feel incredible, I'll turn you into a bride, you're mine.’ Again this lyric isn’t about sex its goes deeper than that this is talking about being together forever not just a fling. But I think another even more interesting lyric in the song is ‘Swear to God, I'm down if you're down, all you gotta say is right.’ I’ve said before that I think that Archie is the one that is more willing to explore a relationship than Betty right now. I do feel like this line reflects how Archie is feeling like all Betty would have to do is say the word and I think he would be all in. Now I am fully aware that I could be reading way too much into this but I just find it interesting that they chose a song for a Barchie scene that is talking about how in love a guy is with the girl he’s with and how that guy is longing for more. 

So like I said earlier there is no denying that this scene was all kinds of hot so naturally I was very amused when the fire alarm started to go off. I don’t know I just found that really funny, like a literal fire broke out whilst they were doing it. Of course this is because some Stonewall Prep footballers set a fire in the school. One thing worth noting though is that obviously those two guys saw both Archie and Betty there at the school I can’t help but wonder if they’ll go back and tell Reggie this. I mean I don’t think they will but its possible they could do some scenario where Reggie tells Hiram and considering how Archie later tells everyone that he was alone and out running when he discovered the fire, Hiram is going to know that Betty and Archie are wanting to keep things quiet and maybe he or Reggie will use it to try and blackmail Archie. Like stop what you’re doing or we’ll tell everyone about you and Betty. I mean Betty didn’t do her blouse up all the way when they came out so I think the students probably would be able to guess what they had been doing. I’m not entirely convinced on this theory but the thought did cross my mind. Speaking of Betty’s state of dress, that leather skirt and the heels with the blouse, our girl came all dressed up for Archie and I loved that outfit. Also I really loved the scene where Archie was trying to explain why he was at the school in the middle of the night to see the fire. I mean Archie does go night jogging, he has in the past at least so the excuse was a believable one but his delivery was far from smooth.

On a less fun note I have seen some people comparing the Barchie car scene with the one with Miss Grundy and that’s just not ok. They are very different situations one scene is between two consenting adults and the other was a person of authority and an adult manipulating a teenager into having sex with them. The fact that people are using that scene as a way to prop up their own ship or to try and say its evidence that Barchie are wrong is quite frankly disgusting and disturbing so please just stop.  

The Shallows.

So this was on the surface such a small scene but in truth I actually think in terms of Barchie’s relationship it was one that held the most significance. Whilst Veronica sings the lines ‘Tell me something boy, aren’t you tired of trying to fill that void.’ It zooms in on Archie’s face and you can see he is feeling some things. He is clearly got some things on his mind that have been stirred up by those particular lyrics. I said before the episode aired when I saw the clip of them in the teacher’s lounge in the promo that I wondered if Archie was already beginning to get tired of sneaking around and after seeing this episode I do think that’s the case. I think Betty and Archie have been in love with each other since the pilot, maybe even before, but they’ve spent so long pushing down those feelings and ignoring them that I’m not sure they know how to do anything else. But as a result, I think not acting on these feeling has left a void in their lives/ hearts. Now they’ve reunited and they are both single and they’ve realised those feeling are still there, but like I said, I think they spent so long denying their feelings its become second nature to them. I think they both fear losing the other if they take it to the next step and it doesn’t work out, then they’ve lost their best friend. But I also think this void they’ve created is becoming too much so they instead try to fill it by sleeping together hoping that it might be enough to make them feel more complete.

When Veronica sings the next line ‘Or do you need more?’ this time it zooms in on Betty who you see gets a little sad and looks down at the ground, like Archie those lyrics have got her thinking and feeling things. Again these lyrics are so significant and I think the mesage is pretty clear. Barchie want more with each other, as much as they are enjoying the whole FWB thing they’ve got going on they’re realising that its not enough. They are also probably feeling a lot of fear and uncertainty around that revelation. The next line Veronica sings is also very meaningful. ‘Is there something else you are searching for?” What’s really interesting to me is obviously I think this lyric is suppose to indicate that yes Barchie are searching for something other than the FWB deal they’ve got going on. But I actually think the writers show us exactly what it is Barchie are looking for. At this moment they zoom in on Kangs. I think its important that at this moment they show us a happy, stable couple, who have a deep relationship and who fell in love when they were in high school and who still had those feelings for each other all these years later. This is what Barchie want with each other.

Also the song talks about the shallows. Shallow water is indicative of safety as oppose to being in the deep end which makes you think of being out of your element or in danger. Barchie has always been associated with safety, Betty on several occasions has talked about how they feel safest with each other. I also feel like they feel safe with the whole FWB arrangement. The song continues to go on to say that they are ‘far from the shallows now’ and talking about ‘I’m in the deep end, watch as I dive in.’ This line is talking about willingly throwing yourself into the deep end, to embracing the unknown and just going for it. I do think this is suppose to tell us that this is what Barchie will do. That eventually they’ll take that leap of faith for each other and just dive in. A large part of the reason why I think this song is about Barchie despite it being sung by Veronica and Chad (well truthfully I think it had signifcance for a few couples but I’ll cover that in the other half of the review) is because one the fact that they zoomed in on them both. But two because right when the song finishes Archie immediately turns to look at Betty and she flicks her eyes to his. I think this shows that they were thinking about each other during that song. 

The Porch

Ok so now I want to talk about the scene that seems to have caused some differing opinions within the fandom. A lot of shippers are saying that the scene where Betty comes to the door and they kiss, that Archie had a strange look on his face as he closed the door after she suggested they go upstairs. Now I agree there was a strange look on his face. I did see a lot of people speculating that this was because Archie was jealous over Veronica and Chad and was distracted by that so wasn’t really that enthusiastic about hooking up with Betty at that moment. Respectfully I am going to completely disagree with that reasoning. I was actually kind of surprised when I saw so much speculation that Archie was jealous of Chad, particularly over on twitter because me personally I didn’t see any indication that Archie was jealous. He was definitely wary and suspicious of Chad and obviously still protective of Veronica but I don’t think that situation was the reason for the conflict Archie seemed to be feeling. However whilst I don’t think that Archie was jealous I do think that at some point some element of V*rchie is going to come back into play and that was being set up in this episode. One thing I noticed as I’m sure many others have is that so far the time jump has had a lot of parallels and throwbacks to season 1. But the interesting thing about these parallels is that they each have different outcomes then the original parallel. For example the scene in 5x04/05 when the core four reunite at Pop’s. This scene parallels the one, I think is in 1x02, where the core four sit together for the first time, the one where Betty and Veronica are there and then Juggie and Arch come in and Betty offers for them to join them. Both scenes are very similar but the outcomes are different, in the original scene the four of them are relaxed and laughing together, in the season 5 scene they are a little tense and its awkward. Well I think the V*rchie and Barchie storyline is going to parallel the one in season 1. I think Betty will once again feel jelaous of Veronica and Archie. I could also see Archie get confused about whether his concern for Veronica is old feelings returning or just a friendly kind of concern and whether or not what he feels for Betty is deeper or just an attraction. Basically Archie is going to find himself in the same situation he was in in season 1 but in reverse. In season one he was confused about whether what he felt for Betty was just a friend thing and whether what he felt for Veronica was something deeper or just attraction. Now I think it’ll be the other way around. Back in season 1 ultimately Archie chooses Veronica, sort of, especially after Betty shuts him down during his ‘a part of me always thought’ speech. What else I find interesting is there is another kind of role reversal here between Betty and Archie. In season 1 it was Betty who had feelings for Archie and believed he didn’t have feelings for her. I think in season 5 its Archie that has feelings for Betty but believes she doesn’t have feelings for him. I think they’ll hint at V*rchie but I don’t actually think they will put them back together. I think how it will go is Glen will show up and Archie will feel jealous when he realises that there was something between Glen and Betty. As a result he’ll start spending more time with Veronica which in turn will make Betty jealous. Evenutally in 5x10 it’ll come to a head and Archie having one too many will show up at Betty’s door and declare his feelings. But I don’t think anything will happen right there. I think Betty will just look after drunk Archie and it’ll be the next day that they’ll talk about their feelings and then get together because this time Archie will choose Betty. 

Speaking of parallels that brings me back to this porch scene. Obviously I feel like this porch scene is a parallel to the porch scene in the pilot where one has shown up at the others door. Last time it ended in rejection but this time they kiss and sleep together. Also I couldn’t help but notice that during this scene and the one where they a laying in bed together the theme playing is the same one that was played during that first porch scene, which can’t be a coincidence. Ok so what about that strange look? If its not about Veronica then what was it about. Well I think it was because Archie wants more with Betty but feels like she just sees him as a hookup. 

There was another parallel between this scene and the one earlier in the episode in the teacher’s lounge. In both scenes it starts out with Betty talking about how she is worried about Polly. Again this is showing that friends element of their relationship and how they still go to each other for comfort when things are troubling them. Archie in turn confesses that he himself was feeling crazy and frustrated and whilst I do think some of that relates back to Veronica and Chad, I mean Chad had been a huge dick to him right before this, some of it also probably had to do with Reggie and that situation, but I also think some of it is that he is frustrated about where his and Betty’s relationship is, which was brought on by him hearing Veronica sing shallow. Another parallel between the two scenes is in both it is mentioned that Jughead is out and at work. In the first scene Betty says its too risky for them to be together at Archie’s even if Jughead is out. But this time she doesn’t seem worried about it. I think she just wants to be with Archie and so just doesn’t care what the risk is. I do think this is a small indication that things are changing between them. There are more little hints in this scene too. For example unlike after the scene in the teacher’s lounge where we next see them going at it in the car, in this scene they don’t show them in the act. Instead they show them after. I actually really loved this scene, even more than the car scene. Because here they were just cuddling together, it wasn’t about sex in this moment, they just wanted to be near each other and were taking comfort in each other. I am going to come back to this moment in a bit but first I want to go back to the porch and talk some more about that. 

After talking about how he is feeling frustrated, Archie and Betty kiss. But this kiss to me seems different from the others they’ve had post time jump. For one the others were during their hookups and so were passionate and urgent. This kiss however was just so soft. I also think its worth noting that when I first saw the scene I thought it was Betty that initiated it but I actually think it was Archie. Archie takes a small step towards Betty but also as Betty moves forward you can see Archie’s shoulders move almost like he is pulling her too him. Now I feel like if it was a case of he was distracted by Veronica and wasn’t that into being with Betty he wouldn’t be the one pulling her too him for a kiss. Also Archie is the one that deepens the kiss too. Another thing worth noting is that despite Betty’s concerns about the risk and that they up until now have been very careful about not getting caught. Well they kissed each other on his porch with the door wide open. Literally anyone could have seen them. But again in that moment I don’t think they cared, I think they just wanted to be together. Also despite Betty aksing to go upstairs after I don’t feel like that kiss was meant as a prelude to sex, or that it has anything to do with sex. The kiss wasn’t passionate or heated. It was a much more romantic kiss and maybe I’m projecting but to me it seemed to be more fuelled by their real feelings for each other than by desire or lust. And this is exactly why I think Archie had that look on his face as he closed the door. I think he poured his feelings into that kiss hoping she would know and to me the look on his face was one of frustration and I think its because when she wanted to go upstairs he felt like it was a case of her only seeing him as a hookup option. However I think judging from the look on her face as she looks at him after they kiss I don’t think that is true. Again I could be projecting but to me she just looked so in love with him. 

Ok so going back to the scene where they are cuddling in bed together. Like I said they both have pensieve looks on their faces but the really sweet thing is that Archie is stroking Betty’s shoulder and Betty is stroking Archie’s side and I don’t know why but those little details made me feel all soft and gooey inside. When Betty’s phone goes off Archie is just staring at her the whole time with such a loving look, he looks completely besotted by her. Also there is that moment when Betty says that she has to go and then says ‘but this... was really nice.’ That hesitation before she says really nice, to me, showed that Betty was trying to think what ‘this’ was exactly and it seemed like she couldn’t quite find the right words to define it. Again they both just looked so in love when she was saying it. Also as a FWB type arrangement I’m not sure it was necessary for her to kiss him goodbye like that. Like the kiss on the porch it wasn’t a heated or lust fuelled kiss it was soft and tender, again as if there were real feelings behind it. Also as she goes to leave you can see Archie almost reach out to stop her and say something. It’s pretty obvious in this moment that Archie doesn’t want Betty to go and wants to say something, maybe about his feelings for her, but he changes his mind and again looks deep in thought. 

Overall I thought this was a really good episode for Barchie and I do think that they are moving more towards becoming something more than just friends with benefits. I know that there is a possibilty they might go back to the original couples but as of right now I don’t see that happening anytime soon. I do feel like as a fandom us Barchies have been let down so many times that we just expect to be disappointed but for now I’m staying optimistic and I’m just going to enjoy speculating and enjoy any scenes we get.      

[e350tb]

The Owl House: A Blight on Gravesfield (Chapter One)

One

An uninvited guest arrives at the Noceda residence.

Right, settle down everyone, time for a history lesson.

No, no, please save the questions for the end of the class.

At the beginning of the seventeenth century, English settlers - note the terminology there, English, not British, the Act of Union doesn’t happen for another hundred years. Anyway, English settlers started to cross the Atlantic in earnest to colonise what we now call the eastern seaboard of the United States. While Englishmen liked to claim they weren’t motivated by the same ‘base’ desires as the Spaniards in Central and South America, generally speaking, colonists were motivated by the same three things as the conquistadors.

There’s our key words - glory, God and gold.

Not literally gold - the hopes of gold nuggets on shores of Virginia didn’t bear fruit - but commodities. Beaver pelts and tobacco, things you couldn’t get in Europe at the time. The trade in rare goods and eventually humanity would enrich both colonists and their backers for the next two hundred years. They also served as breeding grounds for religious dissent.

Ah, dissenters. We’ll come back to them, because they’re much more interesting than they sound. 

By the 1630s, the colonies in Virginia and Massachusetts are fairly well established, and people are spreading out in search of more land. If you’re a settler in Massachusetts and you want to find a new patch of land away from everyone else, well, Connecticut’s right there.

There’s a lot of debate over which town is the oldest in Connecticut - traditionally, it’s Wethersfield. But a few academics have argued that that laurel belongs to a different township - the one in which we are gathered today.

Which brings us to 1635, and the establishment of Gravesfield by ten men who had wandered over from the Colony of Massachusetts Bay. Perhaps no town in the state has as much weird colonial lore as us.

And how much of it is true?

Well, that’s for historians to work out…

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It all began on a dark and grey autumn day.

When something happens in a small town like Gravesfield, it gets everyone’s attention. About two weeks ago, for example, the curator of the local historical society had been arrested, fined and fired for trespassing, and it was still the talk of the town. They whispered about it in the cafes, shared articles in the offices, and presented wild, unsubstantiated theories about it on local talk radio.

“So you’re saying that we can’t trust historians?”

A few drops of rain rapped against the window - it was one of those days where it doesn’t rain, but it gusts heavily, and droplets are caught in the wind. The kitchen was dark; light shadows danced on the wall, and the illuminated numbers on the microwave seemed almost brilliant in the gloom. It very much matched the mood.

“Look, Kerry, I’m not sayin’ all historians are bad, but you gotta listen to some o’ these people; the things they say about Jefferson n’ Washington n’ all them folks. They get their kicks on bein’ right and tearin’ people down, this Hopkins fella probably wanted to prove something, and…”

Over the dim sound of the radio, one could hear the clock; tick, tick, tick, tick. Occasionally it was drowned out as a gust rattled the windows and doors, but the sound always returned, constant and ever present - tick, tick, tick, tick.

Time. Ever ticking, ever moment. Every moment, a moment stolen.

“And that was Marvin from Bridge Street. We’ll come back to that, but first the news on the hour. Brad?”

On the bench, next to the phone, stood a small picture frame, the glass slightly illuminated in the stormy afternoon light. To all the world, it showed a typical family - a man, a woman and a little girl. The man’s face was obscured by the light, but one could see the clear similarities in the faces of the mother and daughter.

Those that were here. Those that were now gone.

“The Los Angeles Police Department has announced an amber alert that was put into place several months ago has been withdrawn. In defiance of all expectations, a teenager, whose family has asked for anonymity, returned home over the weekend; two other missing girls, whose cases were connected to the teenager, remain missing at this-”

Camila Noceda turned off the radio.

She sat at the kitchen table, staring at the clock. It had been a long day. It had been a long few weeks.

Unlike those engaging in baseless speculation about the case of Jacob Hopkins, Camila knew exactly what had happened to the previously respected amateur historian. She could even tell you who the mysterious assailant who had beaten him up and left him for the police was; it was her.

She was quite happy to remain anonymous, too. She didn’t want any laurels, any radio interviews, anything like that. She didn’t want to be reminded of that day.

Not while Luz remained separated from her.

Everything about the situation boggled her mind. The Boiling Isles, the Owl House, Emperor Belos - they sounded like fantasy; even she’d thought they were fantasy to begin with. But the idea that they were real, and that her daughter was in such a dangerous world - willingly, no less - was absolutely terrifying.

The same words ran through her head, day in and day out.

“Staying here was the best decision I ever made…”

Had she really been that bad of a mother?

There was a strange thumping noise outside. For a moment, Camila ignored it, but then it came again, louder this time. 

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.

It was like something was trying to break through a door.

Camila shot up - was it Vee? No, she was at school (where everyone still believed she was Luz - Camila swallowed the thought.) Was an animal trapped under the house - or had Hopkins started trapping them again? If he was, she was going to make their last encounter feel positively…

BANG!

Camila jumped. It was definitely coming from the front yard - this time it sounded a bit like a car backfiring, but much louder and much closer. The thumps were getting more frequent too, almost like a heartbeat - thump-thump thump-thump thump-thump!

She looked out the window.

There was… something swirling and morphing on the front lawn, trying and failing to manifest into a single unified shape. She could just about see the frame of a door, and a swirling landscape of… nothing behind. It almost hurt her eyes to look at. Yet she could just about swear she could see a silhouette through the shifting, swirling frame.

Luz!

She raced to the front door and threw it open, just in time for the door frame to settle - only a little, as the edges still twirled and twitched like a heart in cardiac arrest. The figure stepped forward, and Camila realised there was another held in her arms.

She stepped into the light, and Camila’s heart skipped a beat.

The figure was about Luz’ age, she reckoned - her hair was a bright purple, with edges of brown, and she wore what looked almost like a robe with purple sleeves and pants. Her eyes were a hazel brown, and her skin was pale - but more remarkable were her pointed ears.

And yet Camilia’s eyes focused on the limp form in her arms, her brown hair messy, her tan skin covered in cuts and bruises, and her breathing heavy and laboured.

The other girl spoke, her voice shaking.

“Are you Luz’s mom?”

Camila’s hands covered her mouth.

“Luz,” she whispered.

She was running before she knew it, sprinting over to the limp form of her daughter. She barely heard the other girl; she seemed to be babbling.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Emperor Belos, the golden guard, they-they came without warning a-a-and this was the only thing I could think of! Sh-she needs help but I don’t know…”

Camila took her from the girl’s arms, swiftly placing a finger on Luz’s wrist - a pulse, even and regular, if a bit shallow. Good sign, but she needed to get inside. She could go to pieces later; right now Luz needed her.

“It’s okay, mija, mami’s here,” she whispered. “We need to get you inside, come on…”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know how to…”

Camila looked back at the girl as she turned to run inside.

“You can tell me about it later,” she said. “We need to lie her down.”

She raced inside - she thought she heard the girl sprinting after her - and ran into the living room, laying Luz down on the couch. Quickly she checked her temperature - seemed okay, but her skin was a little clammy. More important were the cuts and bruises. She needed bandages, and probably a hospital. She needed to call an ambulance, now, and…

“M-Ms. Noceda?”

The girl had arrived behind her - she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down.

“Can… can I try something?”

Camila opened her mouth to reply - what could she do? Luz needed a doctor! She needed a hospital, she needed…

Slowly, the girl stepped forward, standing over Luz’s unconscious form.

“Lilith said I wasn’t supposed to use this unless it was an emergency,” she said, “but I think this is an emergency, so…”

She touched her forehead to Luz’.

“With this spell declared… let the pain be shared.”

Camila stepped back, eyes wide, as both Luz and the girl glowed blue. The light intensified, and for a moment, she had to shield her eyes.

When she regained her vision, the girl was slumped next to the couch, sweating and breathing a little heavily; but Luz looked noticeably healthier, and many of the worst cuts and bruises were gone.

“What…”

“I shared the pain,” the girl said woosily.

“I… you could’ve hurt yourself!” exclaimed Camila. “Y-you have hurt yourself! I…”

“Yeah?” The girl chuckled humourlessly. “It’s worth it… as long as Luz is okay.”

CRASH! BANG! THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD!

Camila jumped and turned around. Outside the door, she could just about see the magical doorway violently twitch and swirl, thrashing like a trapped, wounded animal. For a moment, it seemed almost to be in a state of rage, as if it would lunge at Camila in a last, desperate effort; for help or to main, she could not say.

Then there was a loud pop, and it was gone. It was as if it had never been there.

“Your… portal?” Camila said, her throat dry. “It’s gone.”

“I…” The girl had hobbled to her feet and was gazing outside to where the door had been. She swayed on her feet.

“Oh,” she said softly. “Oh, Titan.”

Like a puppet with its strings cut, she swayed and dropped to the floor.

Camila looked down at the two unconscious girls; she mopped her brow, forcing herself not to panic or cry. She needed to keep herself together, to make sure Luz and her - friend, maybe? - were okay. Then she could cry all she liked.

There was a knock, and Camila turned back to the door. There was another girl, one eerily similar to Luz, standing there - she looked deeply confused.

“Camila?” she asked. “I-is everything okay?”

Camila swallowed, wondering how she was going to explain any of this.

[narrowtriangle33-blog]

Please share this article, it important that you do so. These truths have to be told.

"Bethune’s name appeared in six reports in the House Committee on Un-American Activities and five times in Senate reports on people suspected of communist activity. While she was cleared of any involvement, the message was clear: Confronting racism and white supremacy is un-American."

"This is why white people are my bellwether."

"Whenever I am trying to decide whether or not a particular movement, policy or person benefits Black America, I wait and see what white people think. While that might sound racist, there has never been a movement, policy or person that benefitted Black America who was simultaneously embraced by white America. In this country, a stance against the trauma-inducing brickbat of whiteness is perceived as a stance against America. And anyone who disagrees can feel free to prove me wrong. Name one person who fought for Black liberation who white people agreed with."

"Whenever anyone does anything that includes the word “Black,” it immediately falls under the classification of Marxist and anti-whiteness. White people hate being left out, even though they are acutely aware that there is nothing more valuable in the known universe than a white life. White people will slit a Black baby’s neck for a white woman’s life."

"Let’s just say they will beat a Black baby to a bloody pulp, tie him to an industrial fan with barbed wire and toss his lifeless body off a bridge. Is that better?"

"But I understand why they vilify Black movements with Marxism."

"White people don’t know what Marxism is."

"According to a 1970 Harris Poll, 64 percent of Black Americans had a favorable view of the Panthers, while 92 percent of white Americans had a negative view. It’s probably because a lot of members of the Black Panther were Marxists, which is different from communism. Basically, Marxism is a way to examine history, economics and societies through the lens of class, while communism is actually Marx’s economic and political theory in which...wait. For a second I started to believe that there was some logic to white supremacy."

"White people hated the Panthers because they had guns and pushed for armed self-defense. For some reason, those America-hating negroes believed “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.”"

"I have no idea where they got that crazy idea from."

"Black people voting"

"Why white people don’t like it: States’ rights, something something, communism, something something it was a different time."

"When Black people marched on Selma for voting rights, they were called “communists.” The Voting Rights Act of 1965 was called “Un-American.” Of course, the 2020 election was about “socialism” because so many Black people voted."

"Southerners, conservatives and white people, in general, have never pushed for a single law to expand the electorate because they are the only true Americans."

"Critical Race Theory"

"Why white people didn’t like it: Because they don’t know what it is."

"This one is easy."

"The one thing that dumbfounds me about white supremacy is how much white people trust each other. They just trust the explanations for their fellow white people. In all this debate about CRT, I have yet to see one person who opposes CRT who can also explain what CRT is. And many of the legislators who are against funding K-12 teachers who absolutely do not teach CRT are already funding the leaders’ movement, such as Richard Delgado, the professor at state-supported Alabama Law School who wrote a little book called Critical Race Theory: An Introduction. "

"All they know is that it has the word “race” in it, so it must be bad."

"Legislators opposed the Civil Rights Act because it was “Marxist.” The House Committee on Un-American Activities investigated the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee for communism. The FBI did, too."

"In a 1964 New York Times survey, a majority of white people said that the “Negro civil rights movement had gone too far,” and a quarter of those people said their resentment was growing. They were right. Two years later, a 1966 Harris Survey, revealed that 85 percent of white respondents thought civil rights demonstrations “hurts the negro.”"

"Apparently, to white people, fighting racism is worse than racism."

"And if you think I’m kidding about white people not thinking Black people were smart, according to the National Opinion Research Center, it was not until 1963 that 50 percent of white people believed “Negroes” were born with the same intelligence as whites."

"History"

"Why white people don’t like it: Because white people might find out about some of the things white people did, which is racist."

"The fight against what politicians have deemed the Marxist, Un-American 1619 Project is actually a fight against teaching the history of slavery more accurately. And it is not new. White people said the same thing about teaching abolition. The United Daughters of the Confederacy said the same thing about the Civil War. White school districts in the North and South said the same thing about Jim Crow. And Black History Month."

"Plus if white kids learn about America’s racist past, they might start saying: “I’m not going to do that again,” and then, what will happen to white people?"

"Martin Luther King Jr."

"Why white people didn’t like him: He was a communist. He was anti-white. He was a Marxist."

"In 1966, a majority of white Americans had a negative opinion of King. When he died in 1968, 75 percent of Americans disapproved of him. Now they love him..."

"Because he’s dead."

"This is why we must never ignore white people."

"While we should never, ever do what white people collectively want, history has shown us that if something is good for Black people, white people will hate it. And if they vilify something as racist, communist or anti-white, you should take a second look because, nine times out of 10, it might be worth considering. When it comes to freedom and equality, the easiest thing to do is to see what white people have to say...

Then do the opposite."

I copied a lot of his article word for word those are Michael Harriot's words not my own.

The word's of people who commented.

"I was asking one of the few people on the Right side of politics I am still in touch with about why he hates CRT, and he sent me a link to a whole essay. It boiled down to a few leaps in logic:"

"1) the USSR used US race relations as a shield to deflect criticism of their own human rights record (“And in the USA, they hang n-words”)"

"2) therefore, any criticism of race relations was caused by Soviet propaganda (not, you know, by actually HANGING BLACK PEOPLE)"

"3) therefore any discussion of race relations was commie propaganda."

"4) therefore, any movement that calls attention to race is communist."

"It’s very similar to how the Communist League fired the original writer of The Communist Manifesto because he brought up ethnic minorities and racism and replaced him with Marx, outright rejecting any factor that so much as complicated their preconceived model. It also shares many of the issues raised in the “grievance studies” affair, being exegesis to elaborate and propound upon a founding scripture."

"That’s the most idiotic line of reasoning I ever heard. It’s so typical of white people as a group in this country that when someone points out some shit they did that’s fucked up that instead of you know, stopping the fucked up thing they basically say that the entity pointing out their fucked up shit is bad therefore bringing up solutions to the fucked up thing they did is wrong."

"Fuck the trolls, but if anyone is actually confused about the likelihood of any white person to trust any other white person over anyone at all who is even POSSIBLY not white, please refresh your memories regarding the multiple instances in the last several years of a Black person being anywhere near a house or building, then being approached by either a white guard, cop, or other self-important deputy of white fragility."

"In these instances, Black people are often believed to be up to no good even after they show ID proving they live in the building some white person has decided they don’t belong in. No amount of proof will have a fragile white self-deputy believing that even state-issued IDs are a real thing and this Black person lives in their own home."

"But when any white person walks by and says “Oh, this is _____, they live here”, immediately, that’s good enough to let this perceived criminal go into their home."

"Because any white stranger vouched in any sort of way."

"Literal evidence of address means nothing, but the word of ANY white person, with no proof of their authority, no hassle about “Well what are YOU doing here?!?”, just...instant belief of any white skin."

"Also, the main difference between Angela Davis and Assata Shakur is that Ms. Davis beat the system at its own game, the “proper” way. Racism couldn’t even beat her at their heavily-rigged game. Ms. Shakur ALSO beat the system, but because she didn’t get to win at a fully-rigged game, she found her own loophole and got out of this racist hellhole."

"Not that it matters, because they’re both the same to any racist. To me, they’re both brilliant heroes."

"If you asked these mouth breathers what they hate about CRT not only could they not tell you, they would call you “the real racist” for asking. There is no winning with these people because they refuse to see themselves as ANYTHING other than the good guys in any situation. It is fucking tiring to deal with this shit and yet they seem to not understand that we are more fucking tired than they are. With each comment, committee and talking point they pretty much prove that no white person could handle being anything other than well, white."

"To admit anything else would result in a reckoning. It will never happen and America will remain a racist society, with white culture pushing back and getting more extreme as each generation of BIPOC become more aware and angry over white supremacy. America will implode and whatever rises from the ashes will either be that reckoning with real change or a third world country."

Again I quoted these people

[king-paimon]

HnK Chapter 92 Thoughts: Reflection of Phos’s self hate

bAnother short but amazing chapter. Ms. Ichikawa once again outdid herself with those beautiful pages. And for the chapter to end on such a cliff hanger? My, Ms. Ichikawa, you continue to show your sadistic ways of toying with our feelings, and I thank you for it! But my goodness, when I first read the chapter, I couldn’t help but feel that there was more to it. Some hidden metaphors and messages that further showcases Phos’ mental state and his feeling towards not just Cinnabar... but himself?

This is definitely a hot take, but I’ll do my best to explain what I mean. Please forgive me if this turns out to be an incoherent mess. I will probably heavily edit this post as well.

Phos’s projected hatred towards Cinnabar...And himself.

When reading the first pages of the chapter, I couldn’t help but feel there was a deeper meaning behind Phos’s words and actions toward Cinnabar. It’s pretty evident and yet arguable why Phos says what he says to Cinnabar, considering everything that had happened before that lead to this point. And might I add, it’s interesting and a little sad how Cinnabar made no attempt what so ever to reject the comments and instead passively agreed with all of them. I’ve already seen several posters talk about the significance of Cinnabar’s response and I think they are all very thought provoking. In fact, @rinboz recently made a really good post about this and I think anyone who’s curious should read it.  But this won’t be the focus of my post. Instead, I want to focus on only what Phos was saying.

“They’re only using you, you know?”

“None of them are really your friends.”

“You���re just awkward, so they pity you”

“Those like you can be broken at the slightest touch. Right, you pathetic two?”

I think Ms. Ichikawa wrote these comments this way on purpose.  

Maybe I’m looking too much into this, but I couldn’t help but feel that these words weren’t only directed at Cinnabar, but maybe more so of what Cinnabar represents to Phos. Again, yeah it’s clear that Phos is saying all of these degrading comments to Cinnabar and why, but it also feels like he’s also saying them about himself. Or rather to his former self. To the naive Phos who wanted to be useful, who wanted to find his purpose, who wanted to find answers, and who wanted to help Cinnabar in any way he could. That gullible, awkward, pitiful, weak gem…

Many times, Phos has shown that he viewed his former self in a negative light and those feeling accumulated as the story progressed. The most recent and evident display of his negative feelings towards himself was back in Chapter 83, during that dream sequence. Remember how most of the gems who had an impact on Phos were saying belittling comments towards him? Even if the some of the gems said similar things to Phos in his past, it’s clear that Phos was subconsciously projecting these disheartening thoughts of his naïve, weaker self to himself.  That version of himself that he now wants no part or reminder of. And I think Phos is doing it again in this chapter through his comments towards Cinnabar, because of Cinnabar’s connection with the “old” Phos. Maybe the current Phos subconsciously sees Cinnabar as a sort of representation or a reminder of that old Phos and this just amplifies the disdain Phos now has for Cinnabar.

Basically, I believe Phos is projecting onto Cinnabar while also disassociating his current self from his past self through his words. Pretty much “the pot calls the kettle black.”  I also believe that these feeling of projection, detachment, and resentment towards Cinnabar and his former self was also illustrated by Phos destroying the small mercury replica Cinnabar made that looked like the old Phos. Again, I might be looking too much into this part, but I think the simple action of destroying that small replica is a metaphor for what Cinnabar represents to current Phos and how he rejects the old version of himself.

(Edit: I have a correction to make here; it was actually Cinnabar that destroyed the mercury replica, not Phos. Though this slightly changed how I originally saw the scene, the themes of projection, detachment, and resentment is still there, just this time from Cinnabar. Thank you @tsundere-bellwether for correcting me and for explaining the scene so well!)

He’s not that Phos anymore. I mean, after all:

That Phos was just a tool to everyone when he was considered useful.  “They’re only using you, you know?”

That Phos has no true friends who truly value them (at least not anymore.) “None of them are really your friends.”

That Phos was awkward and everyone pitied him. “You’re just awkward, so they pity you”

That Phos was fragile and weak; could be broken at the slightest touch both physically and mentally. “Those like you can be broken at the slightest touch.”

That Phos was nothing. Just like Cinnabar. “Right, you pathetic two?”

(Please let me know if this sequence was confusing at all. I admit, I got a little carried away when writing it. I’ll try to edit it or cut it out if this was too confusing)

Again, I know this is a stretch and a hot take of this chapter, and I’m sure not many people saw this the same way as I did. But I think it’s clear that those first few pages have a lot of weight to them. And regardless of whether they mean anything deeper or not, I think Ms. Ichikawa did an excellent job further demonstrating how far Phos had fallen.

What will happen next? Not Phos’s salvation.

That’s the big question, isn’t it? Especially after that ominous ending in this chapter. Did Phos and Cinnabar survive? Will Cinnabar be the 7th treasure after all? That theory is starting to become more likely. (I hope you Cinnabar stans are doing OK.) There’s still a lot of uncertainty as to what will happen next but here’s what I believe will transpire in the next chapter: Phos will make it out somehow, most likely just barely, Adamant will make an appearance, and Phos will demand that he gives him salvation. But I think we all know that will not happen in the way Phos wants.

I’ve said this many times before and I know others are on the same page: Phos is destined to not get a happy ending with how the story is currently progressing, and I believe it will be because something will happen to Adamant. I still stand by my theory/prediction that Adamant is going to be destroyed, one way or another. Maybe it’ll be because despair consumes him because most of his precious children are gone and it’s essentially his fault? Maybe him constantly breaking his body when fighting the Lunarians is finally having a permanent effect on him? Or…Maybe Aechmea has another trick up his sleeve and will do something that will take Adamant out of commission before he even gets the chance to give Phos what he wants.  Either way, Phos is going to denied salvation once again and this time, there’s nothing he could do to change it.

I think I’ll make a prediction post of what I envision would happen next. I don’t know why I keep coming up with these, especially since they make more more anxious and nervous for the next chapter, at the same time, they’re kinda fun. We’ll see.  

I think the next chapters will be truly devastating, even more so than what we’ve already seen. And I think it’ll be especially hard for the fans who want Phos to truly make it out victorious. Phos’s euphoria is coming to an end. His sweet revenge is nearly complete. But everything is going to come crashing down on him very soon, I can see it.

And it won’t be pretty.

[imjustthemechanic]

The Price of a Soul

Part 1/? - Agent Russel

I am absolutely going to regret starting to post this, but here goes.

An AU: a Russian agent slips Agent Carter a letter that seems to contain a clue to the location of the Valkyrie crash site.  What is Peggy willing to sacrifice in order to bring Steve’s body home?  Her job?  Her reputation?  Maybe even her life?  And what will she do when she learns what her Soviet source already knew - that Captain America isn’t a corpse after all?

-

Peggy was not at all happy about the situation, but at the same time, she knew she had nobody to blame for it but herself.

After all, she was the one who’d broken Dottie Underwood out of prison and then lost track of her.  That made it, technically, Peggy’s fault that the woman had robbed the Toucan Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, making off with some two hundred thousand dollars.  Now the mafia was looking for Dottie, along with dozens of corrupt police officers all over the country, all of them getting in Peggy’s way, alternately threatening her, trying to bribe her, and ignoring her… and as if that weren’t enough, now the bloody FBI had gotten involved.

All things considered, Peggy was very tempted to call in to work with a headache.  The main reason she did not was because half the people involved in this fiasco already considered her a potential criminal and she didn’t want to give their theories any support.  But there wasn’t exactly a spring in her step as she opened the door marked Auerbach Theatrical Agency and stepped inside.

It was a sunny morning in Los Angeles, and light was pouring through the big window into the middle of the room, where a blonde in a pink cardigan was kneeling on the floor doing a scene from MacBeth.

“The Thane of Fife had a wife!” the woman lamented, in a shockingly obnoxious mockery of a Scottish accent.  She mimed thrusting her hands under a stream of water and rubbing them together to wash them.  “Where is she now?”

“Good morning, Rose,” said Peggy, to the woman behind the desk.

“Good morning, Peggy,” Rose replied with a sigh. The SSR had gone out of its way to make the supposed ‘theatrical agency’ nearly impossible to find, and yet hopefuls still showed up quite regularly.  When Peggy had left the previous evening, there’d been a pair of young East Asian men, twins, juggling knives.  One of the blades was still embedded in the wall where its owner had thrown it.  Now there was this would-be Shakespearean.

“What, will this hand never be clean?” the blonde went on, refusing to break character.  “No more of that, my Lord, no more of that!  You mar all with this starting!”

“Well, if anyone needs me, I’ll be upstairs waiting for my ten o’clock,” said Peggy.  FBI Agent Russel, here to offer his ‘assistance’ apprehending Ms. Dorothy Underwood – and to keep an eye on SSR Agent Carter to make sure she wasn’t involved in any criminal activities.  They might have at least tried to be subtle about it.

“I’ll let you know when he arrives,” said Rose.

Peggy turned to head upstairs, when a new voice said, “Agent Carter?”

She turned around.  The blonde was standing now.  She was quite small, shorter than Peggy, dressed in a mid-calf beige skirt, and the pink cardigan was over a matching blouse with a single tasteful string of pearls. Her makeup was quite dramatic, with deep red lipstick in a similar shade to Peggy’s own.  Her purse was also bright red, and she reached into it and pulled out a little leather billfold which she opened to reveal a red and silver FBI badge.

“I’m Agent Nadine Russel,” she said.

Peggy should not have been startled – she really should not. She was thoroughly sick of everyone she met being surprised that SSR Agent Carter was a woman, and this Agent Russel probably felt the same… but it took her a moment to regain a neutral expression regardless.  She looked at Rose.

Rose shook her head.  Apparently the woman had simply walked in and started doing Shakespeare.

“I’m sorry,” said Russel with a smile.  “But she asked me if I were here to audition and I couldn’t resist.”

“To be fair, she’s not one of the worst we’ve had,” Rose put in.

Russel stepped forward to shake Peggy’s hand.

“I apologize as well,” Peggy said, as she accepted the gesture.  “I wasn’t aware the FBI employed female agents.”  It made sense, though… if they wanted to send somebody who could tail Peggy anywhere, a man would not do.  They would know from her history that she could get away from them easily.

“That’s how they like it,” said Russel with a nod. Her accent was educated American, non-regional.  Peggy could not have begun to make a guess where she came from.  “Let’s go upstairs, and we can talk.”

In the upstairs offices, the other employees of the Strategic Scientific Reserve were already getting on with the day’s work. Director Daniel Sousa was having a conversation with Agent Sato when Peggy and Russel arrived, and Peggy waited a moment until she knew the men had seen her before interrupting.

“I’m sorry, Daniel,” she said, “but Agent Russel wants to discuss the Underwood case with me somewhere private.  May we use your office?”

Daniel was just as surprised to find that Agent Russel was a woman as Peggy had been, and while there was a part of Peggy that thought he, too, really ought to know better, another part was just glad she wasn’t the only one.  “Of course,” he said.  “Go right in. Ben, let’s go to your desk.”

Benjiro Sato nodded, and the two men got out of the way. Inside, Peggy sat down in Daniel’s chair, leaving Russel to take the one opposite.  It was not intentional on Peggy’s part – she merely entered the room first – but she decided not to change the situation.  It would help to remind Russel, who after all was not exactly an ally, that she was on her home turf here and the other woman was not.

Russel didn’t seem to mind.  She pulled her chair closer to the desk and took a leather-bound folio out of her briefcase.  “This is the most important information we have on Miss Barynova,” she said.  “I was going through it again on my way here…”

“Barynova?” Peggy interrupted, a chill running up her spine.  “You mean Dorothy Underwood?”  In all her own work on and with the woman, she had never encountered anything that might be her real name… only a series of aliases, with ‘Dorothy Underwood’ merely being the one they’d placed on the ‘most wanted’ list.

“Oh, yes, I beg your pardon, her name is Olga Barynova,” said Russel.  “At least, according to sources at the CIA that I’m apparently not allowed to speak to directly.”

The CIA as well?  There were entirely too many acronyms involved in this, Peggy thought crossly.  The more organizations got interested, the more bureaucracy, the more paperwork, the less communication, and the less chance of them ever finding their target. “I see,” said Peggy.  At least that was new information.  She wasn’t surprised the CIA hadn’t shared it with her, but she was a bit surprised they’d been able to find it out.  Her impression of them in peacetime was not good. Perhaps the information could serve Peggy at some point in the future.

“Anyway, as I was saying.”  Russel took out a notebook and sat back to balance it on her knee.  “I was looking through our information and realized that for all you’re the one who first encountered her, nobody has apparently interviewed you about your history with Miss Barynova, which…”  She paused, perhaps searching for words, and settled on the tactful, “seems like an oversight.”

“It is, rather, isn’t it?” Peggy asked.  She remained calm on the outside, but inside her mind was scrambling.  Russel was about to ask her to tell the story.  Peggy didn’t want to incriminate herself because that would only slow down the whole process of catching Dottie and lead to a lot of sidetracks. But she didn’t want to tell too many lies, because lies could be checked, and whatever she said was going to have to be self-consistent.

“Maybe you’d like to tell me what happened?” Russel suggested.

“I would very much like to,” Peggy lied.  “To the best of my knowledge, Miss Un… Miss Barynova came to America in the employ of a man named Fenhoff, who claimed he needed her help with something to do with undermining democracy… I’m not sure of the details.  What he actually wanted from her was help in a plan to take personal revenge on Howard Stark…”

The first half of the story was easy enough to tell… the half in which Peggy had been purely trying to catch this woman and hadn’t been complicit in her presence.  The second half, the part that took place here in Los Angeles, was far more difficult.

“When I left New York she was locked up,” Peggy said. “The next time I heard about her, she’d escaped and had been sighted here in California.”

So far, Russel had been listening, making notes, but not interrupting.  Now she suddenly asked, “what do you think brought her here?”

Now it was time to lie.  “Quite honestly, I think she was following me,” Peggy replied. “When she was arrested at the bank she had taken some trouble to look like me.  I think I may be the only person who ever really tried to get inside her head, and that seems to have impressed her.”  Perhaps Peggy was tooting her own horn there, but she did get the idea that Dottie was somewhat obsessed with her, and that was her best guess at why.

Russel nodded.  “We’re not used to people trying to get inside our heads,” she observed, tapping the side of her own.  “Men tend to assume there’s nothing much going on in there.”

“They do, don’t they?” said Peggy, not amused at all. Of course, Russel was doing the same thing with Peggy now, trying to get inside her head… and she was perfectly well aware that Peggy knew that was what she was doing.  This could turn into a dangerous game indeed, and a distraction Peggy did not need right now.  “Unfortunately, during Miss Barynova’s stay in California I was far too concerned with Agnes Cully and the problems at Isodyne to really have time to pursue her.  By the time I turned my attention to that she was long gone.”

“Do you think she has a long-term goal?” asked Russel.

“I can’t say, honestly,” Peggy replied, and that was the entire truth.  “Sometimes it starts to seem like she’s up to something fiendishly clever and I’m only seeing the tiniest corner of it… other times I think she’s doing all this just for the fun of it.  I do know she doesn’t want to go back to the USSR.”

“No… we have some idea what happens to Russian agents who outlive their usefulness,” said Russel.  “Besides, we’d much rather have her here in the States where we can pick her brains.”

“I doubt you’ll get much from her – nobody else ever has,” said Peggy.

Russel nodded.  “What did you do when you first heard about the Toucan heist?” she asked.

The two women talked for most of the morning, and while Peggy wasn’t sure what Russel thought of her, her impression of the other woman was of somebody intensely focused.  That was not good from her point of view.  The reason she’d been dreading meeting the FBI agent was because she’d thought he’d be a pain in the arse to get rid of – but she’d never doubted she’d be able to do it.  Russel was another matter entirely.  She would not be avoided by going into the powder room, would not be scared off by a mention of ‘ladies’ troubles’.  Nor had she been asking a list of routine questions.  She’d let Peggy lead the way, while she inscrutably wrote notes, keeping her thoughts to herself but attentive and interested.

Nadine Russel was an equal, and the most annoying thing about the situation was that if it weren’t for the situation that had set them up as rivals, she and Peggy would probably have got along like a house on fire.

Finally, around lunch time, Russel checked her watch and closed her notebook.  “Thank you for your time, Agent Carter,” she said.  “I’ve got some more interviews I need to do today, but I will definitely check in with you again.  If you need to contact me, you can do so at this number.”  She held out a blank business card, with the phone number written on it in tidy black ink.

“Thank you, Agent Russel, I hope I was helpful,” Peggy replied.

They shook hands again, and Russel took her red purse and her leather folio, and left.

Once she was gone, Peggy sat back down in Daniel’s chair and pushed her hands into her hair.  Bloody hell, she didn’t need this right now.  She did not.

There was a rap on the door.  “Peggy?” Daniel asked, sticking his head into the room.

“Sorry, Daniel,” she said, and got to her feet with a sigh.  “You may have your office back.”

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“I’m better than I might be, but worse than I’d hoped,” Peggy said, and that much was entirely honest.  “It would be a gift if I could just tell her the truth, but that would create far more problems than it would solve.”

There was a moment of silence.  Peggy and Daniel both knew that ‘more problems’ would involve them getting in deserved trouble for laws they absolutely had broken.  The problem was that there was nobody else they trusted to handle things like Dottie.  The police were corrupt, and the government and big business was, half the time, the problem, and they definitely weren’t going to let the mafia deal with it.  That left only so many options.

“Well, better get back to work,” said Daniel.

“Yes, back to work,” Peggy agreed.

She returned to her desk and dropped her purse on it heavily.  The world was such a mess.  During the war it had been so clear who were the good guys, and who the bad. Now it had become ever so much more complicated.

[magaprima]

I found this post at the bottom of my drafts, and it’s been there so long I’ve lost the link to the audio interview with Michelle that I was referencing, but here are my thoughts regardless, if a little delayed:

Michelle, when talking about Lilith, and especially in reference to the birth of Adam, constantly refers to Mother Earth and I freaking love it. She often jokingly corrects herself and adds ‘Mother Hell’, but the fact of the matter is that her go-to reference when talking about Lilith, especially after she’s had Adam, is Mother Earth, and how it feels like Mother Earth herself is giving birth in that moment, with all those women around her. 

I just love that it just shows not only how much Michelle understood her character, but it also nicely reflects both a lot of Lilith’s real life mythology and her mythology within the show. Her real life mythology, pre-Abrahamic, is all very linked to earth and wilderness and trees and childbirth and fertility (I don’t just mean women getting pregnant, I mean how fertile the earth is, and animals growing in numbers etc), and then within CAOS mythology, she’s literally created by the False God to be the wife of Adam, and to be the Mother of humanity essentially, as Eve eventually became. And she was literally made of earth. There is something undeniably ‘Mother Earth’ about Lilith’s character, but not in the sense that people tend to think-- you know that common depiction of a soft faced, green fingered, pregnant woman, cradling a child (or the earth itself) gently. Lilith is Mother Earth in the sense that earth and nature can be as destructive as it is nurturing, as violent as it can be gentle, dark and twisted as it can be beautiful and bright. Lilith is a Mother Earth that doesn’t stand only in the light, she stands firmly in the dark too, and doesn’t shy from it. A Mother Earth can be a violent storm as much as it can be a gentle breeze. 

And then Michelle goes on to talk about how powerful Motherhood is, and even says that it’s ‘the ultimate power really because no one would exist without mothers’, and I freaking love that too. I find society as a whole, and especially the media, too often portrays Mothers as either being only soft, only nurturing, and any Mother that doesn’t fit this soft All Mother trope is a ‘bad’ Mother (think how Catelyn Stark is condemned, because she decides her own children’s welfare is more important than someone she believes to be the bastard son of her husband. She doesn’t love all children, so she’s bad. She gives honest advice to Robb instead of being soft and pandering, so she’s considered to be cruel. It’s ridiculous that ‘good’ Mothers must only be soft and gentle and lenient). And the alternative portrayal is the media shows Mothers as unimportant, background characters that can be killed off to give emotional drive for the main character. So Michelle coming out and saying Motherhood is powerful and the entire world wouldn’t exist without Mothers, especially as she’s a Mother herself, is just brilliant. And, as I’ve said before, it’s one of the reasons I really liked the direction they went with Lilith as a Mother, because the writers showed how powerful Motherhood is and that you don’t have to be soft and gentle to be a good Mother, that good mothers come in all forms. 

She then also added that she was the one who insisted on Wardwell being a ‘Ms’ not a ‘Miss’, because she wanted it to be that it’s like ‘yes she’s this spinster teacher...or is she?’, and that she really wanted to personally dig into why Lilith picked her above everyone else (which I think does link link in to my theory that Lilith personally thinks there’s more power in older women, which is why she chose Sabrina’s teacher rather than her friend)

Michelle also seems to consider Madam Satan and Lilith to be different people. She states that Mary Wardwell, Lilith and Madam Satan are all the same person but with different elements. She’d already spoken about how she played Lilith and Mary as two sides of the same person, rather than approaching them as separate people, but this is the first time she’d openly stated Lilith and Madam Satan as being separate people, talking about how the represent different things and have different behaviours and relationships and I freaking love that. And I totally agree. I always feel we get all Madam Satan at the beginning of Part 1 and slowly we get more and more of Lilith, until Part 3 where we don’t see Madam Satan anymore at all (to the point she even twitches in displeasure when Sabrina calls her that).

She also added that if you’ve had experiences, you don’t have to think so much about the performance, which I do agree with it, and it’s like Emma Thompson said, after a while you’ve experienced enough that there’s always something you can pull out of the drawer to use in a scene, to go ‘ah I’ve experienced something similar and I can apply that here’, but Michelle says that a lot of her performance is simply what others are giving her, which I think is seriously underplaying her own talent. Whether she’s your favourite actor or not, favourite character or not, you can’t deny she is an astounding performer. 

[i-am-extremely-mad]

The WORST arguments against Korra and LOK that I have received lately... ugh

Below this video

://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk8sXSFdJ-8&lc=Ugxw-J4BthmFYXxb8F14AaABAg.9GjmpE6Ty2y9GxRupH6O0Z

I left a comment saying why Korra can't be Mary Sue:  “ Every time I see Korra as example of "Mary Sue"... NO JUST NO. Firstly she is Avatar, with same basic power levels like  hundreds and hundreds Avatar before her... and in story itself she constantly struggle against many times much more skilled opponents. She went through 13 years of intensive training and still couldn't do airbending, while Aang somehow did the same in just 9 months. Like... which is more believable..”.

...after a few days I got an unexpected and disgusting answer from: 

“7emidio: 1 day ago (edited) While Calling Korra a Mary Sue is a big stretch, what it gets hard to deny is that she's overpowered by the shows standards. It gets hard to deny that when she basically grasped advanced bending in all but one bending technique in the age of 5, where as Aang took 11 just to do the same to air. A caracter like Korra could have worked in theory, but the reality of the situation is that she wasn't written in a vaccum. She's a protagonist of a sequel to an cartoon with preestabilished lore that is heavilly build around an 'hero's journey' structure. That preestabilished structure said that learning bending is a pretty big deal. What is also a pretty big deal is to find out that one's an avatar. TLOA made a big fuss about Aang learning about that at the age of 11 when he should have learned by the age of 16, but Korra learned that also by the age of 5. When the way that your protagonist is build into a sequel to a new show clashes that hard to the lore when said show lore is a big deal not just for the story but for the way caracters should develop their skills, you're not on a great start, and it was a start that TLOK never fully recovered, though later seasons were more or less sucessful in that regard a very similar thing happenned to Rey in SW, but she was even more egregious than Korra, to the point that in this case I can understand throwing the Mary Sue label on her. She's essentially  plastic as a caracter, learned the use of the force too quickly, as well as any skill that the writters wanted her to have for the sake of convenience. She's simutaniously estabilished as special and not special until they made their minds on the former. she has no meaninful flaws at all. The thing is that I do think that people focused on the main caracters too much when critisizing these examples. Korra has flaws, and the show goes from just mildly exploring those flaws in her caracter to actually focus on them in a good capacity. There's much more sins to the show than simply Her. Korrassami's foreshadowing is as piss poor as the lion turtle's from TLOA(yes, it was foreshadowed, believe it or not) and as such felt abrupt and artificial even when it was not. Bolin ends in a... concerningly potential abusive relationship, Mako caracter design is too generic, and the lore is just a contrived mess. I think it misses the point of highlighting why the show's bad when the criticism focuses way too hard on Korra, even though she's one of the few things that actually improved in the show over time(the other being the villains).  SW Sequel trilogy is way worse in every regard compared to TLOK, but even then, it doesn't take much to see that the same writing philosophy that created Rey was present on the other caracters, and the show still have bigger, more concerning problems than her. While I don't blame anyone to have still enjoyed those things anyways(I did enjoyed it actually), I genuinely think that there's enough elements in those stories that have warrated at least some of the scrutiny that the internet throwed at them. Just because the term 'mary sue' is used, does not mean that the criticism that use it is automatically braindead, as long as it shows why the critisism is valid. Even if mostly used that way, MS is not just 'being OP', it's much more than that, even if the people who use that term seldom uses that way, but to those who use, you shouldn't dismiss then just because they do.”

and not even 24 hours later I got somehow an even worse argument from: 

“MegaNightmare4: 10 hours ago Mary Sue is not just an issue of power. You can have an overpowered protagonist without them being a Mary Sue. And you can have a weak Mary Sue just the same. Korra is a Mary Sue because she’s never actually punished for her arrogance. Aang has flaws, but he was was punished for those flaws and eventually overcame them. Korra was an arrogant, hotheaded violent teen, and the show never really punished her for it. She just remained a hotheaded idiot the whole time. When Aang has trouble learning earthbending, he had to learn to go against his monk training. His wimpy and non confrontational nature was preventing him from learning earthbending. He had to learn to work against his nature. When Korra has trouble learning air bending for the opposite reason, she didn’t learn the same lesson. Instead of learning the peace and tranquility required to bend air, she just gave up and kept being a hothead. And yet... she eventually learned air bending regardless on accident? A Mary Sue is a character who is given preferential and undeserved treatment by the story. A character that is praised despite never actually doing anything good, and is never punished for their flaws. Korra never learns her lesson, never improves and never earns her victories. She just stumbles through and somehow still manages to win.”

after which he received a not much better answer  from:

“7emidio: 10 hours ago@MegaNightmare4 I don't fully agree of your statement about Korra, for the criticisms that you mentioned are mostly valid in the 2 first seasons. She did started to get punished for her flaws, even if it is in a way that I don't agree(like the beggining of 4° season, she's cleary tramatized by the events of 3° season finale, it's just that the trauma is not explored in a satisfying way). But by 3° season there was just so much damage done to her caracter that you would have to make an complete revamp and make her an outstanding caracter to fix the bad taste that she left in previous seasons, which they tried, but failed to impress many people”

How do I respond to these people and does it make any sense to get into any discussion because this was so disgusting to read that I now have to share my pain...  

[winterisakillerwrites]

Becoming - Part Five

Title: Becoming

One Shot: 5/6

Character: Tom Hiddleston

Genre: Realistic(?) fluff; Angst

Rating: T

Summary: Learning about his son was only just the start of the story. As Tom Hiddleston struggles to adapt to this sudden change in his life, he comes to learn that becoming a father might be the biggest role he’d ever taken on. *Sequel/Continuation of Lovers’ Eyes*

Authors Notes/Warnings: This story came about because I knew there was still so much about Tom and his son that I wanted to explore. I fully intended this to be a quick flash forward into their lives, a snapshot if you will….They had other ideas and so here we are. This is technically all one story but has been broken down into parts to make the reading easier.

Thanks so much first and foremost to @ciaodarknessmyheart who has dealt with me throwing all of these ideas at her and has helped shape them into something coherent and wonderful.

Hope you all enjoy!

Tag List: @tinchentitri @messy-insomniac-bookgirl @noplacelikehome77 @blacksuitofdoom @nonsensicalobsessions @theheartofpenelope @ms-cellanies @nuggsmum @inkededucatednnerdy @redfoxwritesstuff  @just-the-hiddles @wolfsmom1 @theoneanna @hiddlescastle @sabine-leo @alexakeyloveloki  @echantedbytwh @finchbaggins  @kenzieam @ciaodarknessmyheart @ladyblablabla @trippedmetaldetector

PREVIOUS

It wasn’t an easy process and there had been push back on both sides. More often than not Tom found himself leaving meetings with his solicitor (a middle-aged no nonsense woman of his agent’s suggestion and of sterling reputation) feeling equal parts frustrated and terrified. She’d done her level best to reassure him that set-backs and disagreements were par for the course “After all,” she’d said pointedly after one such meeting, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

 Despite the constant feeling of unease and stagnation, they were at least starting to get somewhere. The time Tom spent with Jaime had an overlaying tension now which seemed to put both Tom and Keira on edge. They were never openly hostile towards each other around Jaime, but it was clear the boy felt the change. And that was something Tom knew neither he nor Keira wanted. It had taken tea and a fair bit of open, frank discussion on both of their parts for an uneasy truce to form between them. They both loved Jaime something fierce and both wanted the best for him. In order to do that they needed to work together, needed to be on similar pages. Jaime deserved no less.

 The begrudging truce formed that night was tested a week later when pictures of Tom and Jaime playing in the park began to make their way around gossip sites and the papers. While Tom’s status as a father was known to family, close friends, and his management, a public announcement had never been formally made. Knowing the intrusive nature of the press, Tom wanted to shield Jaime from it as much as he possibly could. He’d known taking the boy out in public would eventually bring the matter to a head, but had hoped being outside of London would delay it. And it had, for a time.

 When Luke called letting him know pictures had been released and several news agencies were reaching out for comment, Tom had been annoyed but not entirely surprised. He’d known from the beginning that sooner or later this would happen. The world he’d chosen to make his life in meant, whether unfairly or not, his life (both public and private) would be considered up for grabs. And because of who he was to Tom, Jaime could (and most likely would) very well be dragged into it. But knowing that did little to make any of it easier to bear. Nor was it any comfort.

 Shortly after that initial call, Tom discussed the matter with his team and then shortly thereafter with Keira, as she had a stake in this just has Tom himself had, and they’d all begrudging agreed that something needed to be said. To ignore the matter entirely would only serve to worsen the issue. Saying nothing would only lead to the press and the public coming up with their own versions of events and more cameras as they sought to prove or disprove their theories. In being open, or at least in saying something, part of that power, that control would be back in their hands. It wouldn’t stop the press or the cameras (and Tom was no longer naïve enough to think it would) but it would allow them to have a say in the story being told. It wasn’t ideal, but it was the one card they had left to play. Jaime was his son and he wasn’t ashamed of that fact, saying nothing, hiding it would only serve to make it seem as if that were the case. And that was something Tom would not stand for.

 The statement they had agreed on was short, simple, and to the point; it acknowledged that the boy Tom had been photographed with was indeed his son. That he and the boy’s mother had been in a serious relationship when the boy was conceived and that she had recently passed on. They asked for privacy in this matter and that while Tom himself was a public figure, his son was not and asked the press and the public to respect that.

 It was far from perfect and the resulting push back was loud. Why as this only coming out now? What was Tom trying to gain? Who was the child’s mother anyway? Why had nothing about her ever come out?

 Tom did his best to ignore the questions and the unkind words and had encouraged Keira to do the same. “It’s just noise,” he explained, hoping she could understand. Hoping she could see, in this instance, he knew what he was talking about. It was a hard lesson to learn and one Tom still found himself struggling with. But it was the only way to handle the madness. “It’s loud and painful but ultimately changes nothing. You can’t read everything they say about you or the ones you care for, doing so would drive you mad. You can’t change it, can’t stop it, so you just have to do your level best to ignore it. To treat it as if it’s nothing more than background noise.”

 Following his own advice was easier said than done and he’d caught himself looking at the articles and speculation from time to time, fighting the bile rising in his throat as he did so. It could be worse, he told himself. It could be so much worse. But knowing that didn’t make seeing it any easier.

 While he fought to keep things as normal as he could for Jaime’s sake, the boy clearly noticed the sudden amount of attention he’d garnered. They’d been in the park and had spent a fair amount of time in the play area, Tom laughing as Jaime horsed around on the monkey bars (ignoring the sense of dread he felt when Jaime nearly lost his grip) and ran up and down the slide. On one such trip up the climbing tower on a warm August afternoon, Jaime paused, confusion painting his features and pointed towards the far end of the play area. “Look daddy! That man’s taking pictures of us. Is he your friend?”

 Tom swallowed the curse he wanted to utter. He’d gotten used to being followed in London, known it was a part of his life he couldn’t entirely escape. But here…This, here, was a part of his life that was solely his. They had so much of him but this part, this was his. Forcing himself to calm and smile warmly at Jaime, he asked, “Why don’t we go back to Nan’s for a bit? I’m sure she’s got tea nearly ready.”

 Jaime didn’t seem wholly convinced but followed alongside Tom readily enough. Tom fought against the urge to turn and see if they were indeed being followed, as he strongly suspected they were. Jaime seemed mostly unconcerned, if not vaguely curious, about the photographers and they last thing Tom wanted was to scare the boy. He didn’t know if his son or Keira were bothered when he wasn’t around, Keira never mentioned and Tom was leery about bringing the subject up. They had been getting along over the last several weeks, despite Keira’s obvious frustration at this unwanted attention in her grandson’s life. Tom was loathe to do anything to rock the shaky peace they’d found.

 Tea was indeed waiting once they’d arrived at the house. If Keira noted Tom’s unease as he helped Jaime wash up, she refrained from commenting. Jaime ate with gusto, Tom and Keira watched sharing knowing looks. The boy very much took after Tom in his veracity when it came to food and talking it seemed. Once he’d inhaled his meal, Jaime babbled almost nonstop about the fun he’d had with Tom in the park and, to Tom’s discomfort, the funny man taking pictures. Keira nodded and smiled indulgently at the boy but her discomfort at the situation was clear.

 Once again, Tom cursed himself and the life he’d chosen to lead. Cursed how things that had no business in the public eye were thrown into it without warning simply because of their attachment to him. Luke had assured him that it was manageable and Tom knew enough of UK privacy laws to know that the papers couldn’t publish Jaime’s face without his consent…or at least the consent of his guardian and Keira would never allow it. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be followed. Pictures could tell stories and stories involving Tom seemed to sell for a great deal.

 When Keira had sent Jaime upstairs to wash up, Tom told her such. Tried his best to explain he would do whatever it took to keep Jaime safe. Keira listened with a reserved silence, her face unreadable. Something Eliza had clearly inherited from her; Tom could remember many a time he’d sat wondering just what was going on in Eliza’s mind when her face refused to tell him a thing. Once he’d finished, Keira told him she’d known in theory what allowing him into Jaime’s life would entail and that Eliza had known as well. Keeping the boy from his father hadn’t done any of them any good and while she hated the risks involved, she knew that Jaime deserved to have his father be a part of his life.

 “I don’t like this and I won’t pretend I do for either of our sakes, but I know it is what comes with the territory and you have proven yourself enough that I can trust you to put the needs of that little boy above your own. And that is why I won’t fight you on this, why I am agreeing to let you share custody. He is my grandson, but he is your son and this is, ultimately, what Eliza wanted.”

 And with that, the discussion was done. There was little point in rehashing any of it. What mattered now was Jaime and keeping him healthy, safe, and happy. While Tom’s life brought challenges, having him in Jaime’s life far outweighed any of those risks. And life went on as normally as possible. Tom spent as much time as he could with the boy as the dawning school year drew closer. It was to be Jaime’s first and he couldn’t have been more excited. He talked of nothing else; excited to make new friends and to learn as much as he could. It warmed Tom’s heart, seeing the boy’s clear love and desire to learn. He was such a mix of Tom and of his mother. And again Tom felt the familiar longing loss of what could have been had he or Eliza made different choices.

 The custody hearing concluded three weeks after the school year began, and for the most part the news was kept out of the papers (Luke was certainly worth his weight in gold and when Tom told him as much Luke joked and told him the bill would be sent right away then). Tom would share custody of his son with his grandmother while Keira would retain full physical custody for the time being with an understanding that in three years’ time a joint physical custody agreement would come into effect. Tom would have that time to rearrange his life as best he could to prepare. It would be easy enough to transition to more localized productions and it would give him the excuse to get back into his love of theatre. Visitation would be granted in an effort to ease Jaime into the idea of living at least part time with Tom.

 Both Tom and Keira agreed to wait until Jaime had settled as much as he could into his school routine before starting any overnight visitation with Tom in London. Day trips on the weekends and time spent overnight at Keira’s were about as adventurous as either felt Jaime needed right then. The boy had enough changes coming as it was to pile on anymore. Jaime took to these outings and times spent with his father like a duck to water. He loved spending time with Tom, loved talking to him about school and all he was learning while there. Tom, in turn, was grateful to see the boy thriving. Jaime had a way with people that was so much like his mother, and he rationalized, like himself. Nothing about their situation was perfect, but it was working and that was enough for now.

 Things became harder as the first anniversary of Eliza’s death drew near. Tom had been dreading the knowledge of it since he’d woken up that stormy morning in late September and realized with a sinking sense of pain and guilt just what the next week would mean. It would mean that it had been a year since he’d learned of her passing, a year since he’d lost the last vague hope of ever seeing her again, a year since Jaime had come so unexpectedly into his life. And in that year so much of his life had changed. Suddenly it wasn’t just him anymore, there was a little boy who needed him and he’d come to learn he needed him just as badly. So much good had come from something so painful.

 His mind turned to Jaime, wondering just how much the boy understood of what was coming. Jaime still spoke often of his mother and Tom knew he missed her more than he was able to say. He wondered what Keira had planned for herself and for Jaime and if he had any right to involve himself in those plans. Yes, he was a part of Jaime’s life now and yes Eliza had been someone he loved (and always would love) very deeply, but he hadn’t been a part of her life by his own selfish decisions. Keira had been incredibly close to her daughter and had her own loss to mourn. Intruding in that, especially if he wasn’t wanted was the last thing Tom had any desire to do.  

 It was therefore a surprise when his mobile rang on the eve of the anniversary of that painful day. He’d seen Keira’s number and for a brief moment considered sending the call to voicemail. He didn’t know just why she was reaching out and if it was to ask him to stay away, Tom wasn’t sure he would have the nerve, or the heart, to hear it. But what if it were Jaime calling…What if something had happened? Tom slid his finger across the glass screen and with trepidation answered.

 Keira’s voice was quiet, solemn, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt the memories of the person they had both lost were standing by her side. She did not ask him much, just to come by the house tomorrow. Jaime would need him, she’d said, and she believed he would need the boy as well. Tom had slept fitfully that night, memories and guilt swirling around him until he could not truly tell one from the other. He’d given up the ghost around four in the morning and had made his way down into the kitchen for coffee and something he hoped would distract him.                                                      

 His mobile sat on the counter where he must had dropped it after Keira’s call. He had no real memory of any of it and that was probably for the best. Jaime would need him to be strong today, even if the boy did not fully understand why. Tom sighed, waiting for the water in the kettle to boil. Out of habit he reached for his mobile, hitting the home button to wake up the screen. There was a message waiting for him in WhatsApp from Benedict. His newest son hadn’t quite mastered the art of sleeping through the night and it seemed Ben had drawn the short straw and was sitting up with him allowing his wife her much needed sleep.

 Tom smiled at the photograph of the little boy sat in his friend’s arms and fought to ignore the strange, pain of longing he felt. He would never have memories like that of Jaime and on most days he could live with that. He’d always known there were things out of his control, but sometimes that longing screamed in the back of his mind, so much time lost and for what?

 He hit the call button in the app without thinking and waited as it rang. “Tom? I didn’t think you’d be up yet.”

 Tom sighed, taking the kettle off the heat and pouring the water into the press. “Couldn’t really sleep. Saw your message and figured it would be safe to call.”

 Benedict chuckled, “Yes, sleep has been rather elusive on this end as well.”

 He placed the mobile on the counter, switching the device to speaker as he moved about finishing brewing his coffee. Through the tinny speakers Tom could hear the muffled grunts and squirming of the baby in his friend’s arms. “But it’s worth it, is it not?”

 “Oh yes, even when it feels like you’ll go mad, it’s worth it.” There was a slight hesitation before Benedict spoke again “Tom?”

 “Hm?”

 “Do you want to talk about it?”

Tom sighed, taking a sip from the mug in his hand. He grimaced at the heat, grateful though for the moment it gave him to decide how to respond. Briefly, he considered brushing off Benedict’s invitation to talk, the last thing he wanted to do was unload on his already sleep deprived friend. But he couldn’t do it, not when he knew Ben’s offer was genuine. He was one of the first people, outside of his family and his team, Tom had opened up to after learning of Jaime. And Benedict had been a sympathetic ear, offering both his ear and his counsel when required.

 He knew that Benedict was well aware of the significance of the day to come and knowing had offered Tom a quiet hand in a way he knew his stubborn friend would accept. What he’d ever done to be worthy of such a friend, Tom would never know, but he was eternally grateful.

 It didn’t take long for the thoughts and fears which had plagued him to come tumbling from Tom’s lips. Just saying the words aloud felt like a giant weight had been lifted from him. Even though there was nothing Ben could really do. Nothing he could really do about any of it other than simply do what needed to be done.

 The call ended as sunlight began to pour through the kitchen window. His coffee had long since gone cold and Benedict, to his credit, could no longer pass off his yawning as a one off. With a sleeping infant in his arms, Benedict wished him well. “If I don’t sleep now, he’ll be up again and so will his older brother and sleep will be something that happens to more fortunate souls.”

 Laughing, Tom bid his friend a pleasant sleep and surrounded once more by the silence of his kitchen, sighed. The clock on the stove read twenty-seven minutes past six. Keira hadn’t said how early he should come but if he showered and left within the half hour he could be at her’s around the time Jaime would be waking up. Mind made up, he placed the still full but now stone cold coffee by the microwave and jogged out of the kitchen and up the stairs to at a time.

 Twenty minutes later he was clean and back in the kitchen to reheat his coffee. No sense in letting the brew go to waste and he desperately needed the caffeine. Wincing as he pulled the now steaming mug from the microwave and dumped its contents into the travel mug his mother had bought him last Christmas (“you drink enough of the blasted stuff so you might as well have something decent to carrying it in when you’re dashing about”). Shoving his mobile in his pocket, Tom jogged to the door, grabbed his keys from the hall table and made his way out into the bright sunlight.

 Keira had clearly been expecting his early arrival Tom discovered as he found her waiting at the door as he pulled into her drive. She nodded at him and he did so in return. This was going to be a rough day for all of them.

 “Thank you for coming,” she whispered as she pulled the door shut behind him.

 “Thank you for having me.” He didn’t know what else to say. What else could he say? He shed his coat, hanging it on an empty arm of the hall tree. The sound of footfalls above signaled Jaime’s imminent arrival and Tom steadied himself to become whatever his son would need him to be.

NEXT

[kasdeyathebitterwoman]

Running Mate Part 8

PART 8 IS FINALLY HERE!! I’m a little relieved to be done with this one. It was giving me quite a bit of anxiety, hahaha. But, it’s here and I really hope you love it! 

Word Count: 4,136

Adult Content, 18+, NSFW

CW: smut, sex

taglist:

@maeleeme @andyrazzledazzle @fanfictionaddiction99 @henrycavillluv32 @jhenno2002 @blossom-a @xceafh @oddsnendsfanfics @severuined 

The next morning after a light breakfast, everyone piles into a few cars and begins the trek to the Durrell Challenge. You ride with Henry, his mother, his assistant, and Kal. The ride is silent as it’s still relatively early. Henry has to be there much earlier than other races to do a meet and greet with fans. He explains it’s one of his favorite parts of the experience because he gets to meet so many people who share similar passions with him.

At the event, Henry breaks off with his assistant to begin prepping for everything while you and Marianne get to take in everything from the side. She has her phone out, ready to take pictures of Henry with his fans.

“He’s so giving,” Marianne explains proudly. “He’s always been that way. Always trying to make sure everyone else is happy,” she looks at you and smiles.

“Oh, I know,” you say. You tell her about him letting you crash at his house while you finished your research. “He wanted to keep an eye on me. Apparently, my diet of pizza and coffee was not sufficient enough,” you tease and Marianne giggles.

“That sounds exactly like him,” she muses and you bob your head. “So, Henry tells me you’re a fan of country music as well,” she states and you smile.

“Very much so,” you say. “My granny listened to nothing but Patsy Cline for as long as I can remember and I just fell in love with her and Dolly Parton, Tammy Wynette - all the greats,” you tell her. “And of course, the queen, Ms. Loretta Lynn,” you add with a knowing smile.

“I know of Dolly Parton and Patsy Cline, but I’m remiss to say I’ve never heard of the other women you mentioned,” Marianne replied.

“Tammy Wynette and Loretta Lynn?” you clarify and Marianne nods. “Oh, I love them, especially Loretta. She was a big name in our house growin’ up,” you say.

“How so?” Marianne asks. You explain how Loretta wrote a song called “Coal Miners Daughter” which was later turned into a movie. That movie followed Loretta’s life as she went from a poor coal miner’s daughter to one of the biggest names in country music history. As you finish, Henry trots over with Kal, smiling at both you and his mother.

“Okay, I have a few moments before I have to head into the tent for meet and greets,” he says. “What have you two been talking about?” he asks.

“Your mom was just telling me all the embarrassing things you did as a kid,” you say before Marianne can respond.

“HA!,” Henry barks a laugh. “There’s not enough time in the world to go over all of that,” he says proudly and Marianne laughs at him. The three of you chat for several more minutes before Henry’s assistant hunts him down and explains he has to get back to the tent. Henry says goodbye to you and his mother then follows his assistant back. Marianne proudly watches him go then turns back to you.

“He’s so dedicated to his fans,” she says, the pride absolutely clear in her voice. “He’s always thinking of others and trying to make sure everyone else is happy,” he explains and you nod your head in agreement. “He’s always been like that; putting others ahead of himself,” she says a little wistfully.

“Well that just further confirms my theory that he really is Superman,” you tease and Marianne laughs. As you talk some more, crowds of people begin to form around the area getting ready for the meet-up with Henry. You and Marianne step inside and to the side so you can see everything but you don’t have to participate. You catch Henry’s eye and he smiles at you while someone is talking to him.

Marianne and you chat while Henry meets with fans and runners. She proudly watches her son and occasionally takes pictures when she wants. You watch with fascination as fans of all backgrounds greet Henry. He treats them with so much kindness and respect, a way you’ve never really seen happen before. You don’t notice Marianne glancing back and forth between you and her son as she comes to realize something that you haven’t quite realized yourself.

After the meet and greet, Henry begins getting ready for the race. By that time, his brothers and their partners had arrived. Marianne introduces you to everyone and you are greeted with warmth and kindness. Everyone hangs around him and his brothers as they get ready. You make small talk with his in-laws and then suddenly it’s time for the race to begin. Everyone moves over to the start. Henry and his brothers take their place while you and the rest of his family stand off to the side. You smile at how enthusiastically Marianne is snapping pictures of her boys. The pride is real and you love it. Henry catches your eye and smiles knowingly at you. Then the announcement is made that it’s time for the run. The buzzer goes off and the runners head out.

You and Marianne cheer loudly, taking pictures as Henry and his brothers set off on the 26-mile race. Walking from the start to the finish line after everyone has passed, you talk with the women in Henry’s life. They, of course, ask about how the two of you met, what your first date was, what you do for a living, etc. After an hour and a half, the conversation turned to your documentary.

“Henry has told us so much about it,” Marianne states. “It sounds absolutely incredible,” she says.

“Well, thank you,” you reply. “It seems to be resonating with people quite a bit,” you say. One of his sister in laws asks what it’s about. You explain the premise and everyone gets a little misty-eyed.

“That’s just like Henry to love a film like that,” one of his in-laws says and everyone smiles in agreement. They ask you how you feel about being in the public eye and you laugh sardonically.

“I think you need to be asking Henry that question, not me,” you reply. They are confused by your answer until you explain. “I honestly don’t care, I was mocked from the day I was born until now,” you state. “I grew up in a barn and wore my brother's hand-me-downs to school. More than that, 80 of the 90 girls I went to school with were in pageants since they were toddlers, so,” you pause. “There’s really nothing anyone can say that the mean girls in middle school and high school didn’t already say,” you finish, chuckling to yourself.  

“Well you already sounds loads better than the other ones Henry has brought around,” one of his sister in laws says and the others laugh. You smile as well, though Marianne gives her a pointed stare, she still smiles and gently shakes her head. They ask you what it was like growing up in Texas.  

“It was the best,” you state, smiling. “We grew up on 32 acres of the Sarge’s land. Our house is a converted horse stable and for the better part of our lives, a poorly done converted horse stable,” you explain and everyone laughs. “For the longest time, it was just my brothers and I. We didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. Their parents didn’t like the idea of their kids spending too much time with us,” you say, but don’t expand on. And you don’t have to because the first round of runners are starting to appear. You check your watch to see that’s it’s been about two hours since the race started. Everyone cheers as they pass by and you smile at how happy they are. It would have been nice to run, but you were so focused on work, you hadn’t thought about it. Now that it was on your mind, you check your phone for an email or a missed call. There’s nothing.

Forty-five minutes later, you see Henry and his brothers coming up the lane. You and his family cheer them on as they make their way to the finish line. They are all smiles and sweat as they jog up to the fanfare. Marianne has her phone out again and is taking all the pictures. All four are huffing as they cross the finish line. It’s pure chaos of people fluttering around handing Henry things, taking pictures, and asking questions. You hang back and let him deal with everything he needs to. Though there is much confusion in the moment, Henry remains collected through it all. Without realizing it, you find yourself falling hard over these little details. His kindness, compassion, sweet disposition, and calm demeanor. Looking around, Henry finally finds you and strides over.

“Hey, what are you doing over here?” he asks, sweat covering every inch of his body.

“Just hanging back and taking in the sights,” you reply, not-so-subtly looking him up and down. He smirks at you.

“Well, I’ve got a few more things to do around here and then we can leave,” he says and you bob your head.

“Okay,” you reply nonchalantly. “I’m fine to hang out as long as necessary,” you look up at his eyes. He’s smiling at you in a way that you don’t fully understand. “Go, do what you need to do. I’ll be here learning all your embarrassing secrets,” you say and glance at Marianne. She’s beaming at the two of you. With a quick hug and a peck on the temple, Henry heads back to where he needs to be. There are more pictures, greetings from fans, and the like. After a while, it all finally dies down and y’all are able to leave. The car ride back to the Cavill residence is quiet for the most part. You watch the island pass by silently while Henry watches you and Marianne drives.

Back at the house, Henry heads into the bathroom for a shower and change, while you sit on a barstool in the kitchen with Marianne and the rest of his family. She makes you a cup of tea which you accept graciously. When Henry comes back downstairs, in a simple blue shirt and sweatpants. His hair is still wet and his curls are beginning to form. Everyone is talking as they try to figure out what they want to do for the rest of the day. Quietly, you attempt to sneak a peek at your phone, but Henry’s raised eyebrow gaze stops you. He smirks as you sheepishly put your phone back in your pocket. Then he comes up behind you and leans down to whisper in your ear,

“If you stop looking for it, it will come,” he gently kisses your temple. You sigh and roll your eyes, though there is a small smile on your lips.

“Do you want to sit down?” you ask, tilting your head back to look up at him. He smiles but shakes his head no. You look at him incredulously. “Sugar, you just ran 26 miles,” you state and Henry chuckles.

“If I sit down, I’ll start to tense up and then I’ll be of no use to anyone,” he replies and you sigh.

“Why are you trying to spoil my plans?” you ask and he scoffs. A smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“What are you two talking about over there?” Charlie asks from the kitchen table. You both turn to him. “Have either of you figured out what we’re going to do?” he asks.

“We could play poker,” you suggest, smiling.

“No,” Henry interjects. Charlie looks back and forth between you and Henry and you shrug.

“Apparently, I’m decent at poker,” you admit and Henry’s family breaks out in laughter.

“Well now we have to play,” Nik says and everyone agrees while Henry just groans. You look up at him.

“At least we aren’t playing strip poker,” you say quietly and Henry glares. For the next few hours, you and the Cavill’s play poker. You play with biscuits and pretzels as payment. In the first few rounds, you smoke Henry and his brothers. But after a while, they begin to learn your tells and you start losing. When you are completely out of biscuits, Henry calls it and the group disbands.

“Come on, let’s take Kal for a walk,” Henry says, standing up and grimacing. “I told you if I sat for too long, I’d get stiff,” he says in response to the face you pulled. You stand up and watch him walk into the other room to get Kal. Charlie steps over to you.

“What did you do to scar my brother from playing a decent game of poker?” he asks and you laugh.

“Took him for all he was worth,” you reply. Charlie grins back at you.

“Keep it up. I really like beating him,” he says. Y’all are laughing when Henry comes back to find you with Kal in tow.

“Ready to go?” he asks and you nod. Waving bye to Charlie, you take Henry’s extended hand and step out of the house to begin your walk. You make idle chat as you walk alongside roads towards the beach, or so Henry tells you. You have no idea where the two of you are going, you’re just along for the ride. Kal clicks along ahead, sniffing and investigating everything. Walking around the streets, you silently take in the sights. Jersey is a beautiful place. It’s a different type of serenity than you’ve ever experienced. There’s a gentle breeze bringing a soft tang of salt to you. It makes you lick your lips repeatedly. Occasionally, you glance at Henry who is watching Kal with amusement.

“Let’s go this way, I want to show you something,” he says suddenly, pulling you to the left. The two of you walk for a while. Henry points out different things, telling you what he knows of the island. Eventually, you come to a little beach. “My brothers and I used to come down here,” he says. “We’d spend hours playing in the sand or in the water,” you smile up at him.

“It’s pretty fun seeing you and your brothers together,” you tell him and he smiles wide at that.

“They’re the best,” he says, turning to you, but you’re not looking at him. You’re looking out at the water, watching the waves coming in and out. Without saying anything, he pulls your hand and you walk down to the water together. Kal investigates practically every grain of sand that comes in contact with his nose. You let go of Henry’s hand and walk right up to where the water stops on the beach line. You’re in flip flops, so you just slide your feet out, pick up your shoes and step forward. The waves run over your feet while your toes sink into the sand. The feeling makes you smile and remember the summers your own family used to pack up the station wagon and drive down to Galveston. A strange pain makes your heartache. Suddenly, you feel Henry’s arms wrap around you. Kal is sitting behind the two of you, watching a flock of seagulls with pure intensity.

“What are you thinking about?” Henry asks, kissing the very top of your head. You tilt your head back to look at him and take a deep breath in.

“I’m just thinking about my own family,” you say. “We didn’t have the money to go on a real ‘vacation’, but every few summers, my dad would pack us all up in our station wagon and make the drive down to Galveston. My whole family would cram into this tiny house on the beach and we’d spend a week getting disgustingly sunburnt, flinging muddy sand and seaweed, and eating fresh-caught fish that the Sarge would bring in,” your voice has become forlorn. You can feel Henry’s arm tighten just a little bit around you and you smile sadly. You turn around to face him.

“What’s up?” he asks when he sees your face. You shake your head and try to dip your head, but Henry gently pushes your chin up so you look at him and you sigh.

“I think I’m just missing my own family,” you admit. “And I think I’m just scared, a little,” you breathe. Henry’s hand drops down to yours and he runs his thumb over your knuckles.

“What are you scared of?” he asks.

“Losing the contract, getting the contract,” you say. “People not taking me seriously if I do miss out on this contract. People not taking me seriously if I do get the contract. Disappointing James or my backers. Losing you,” you add before stopping short. You glance up at him to see if he noticed. He did.

“You’re afraid of losing me?” he asks a little surprised.

“Ugh,” you groan, rolling your eyes. “I’m not this sappy person!” you exclaim. “But spend any length of time with you and all I want to do is tell you how I feel,” you huff a little and Henry laughs. His hand strokes the side of your face. You look into his beautiful blue eyes and sigh. “Because of you, I have feelings and I don’t know what to do with any of them,” you say and Henry tilts head back to laugh.

“I love you,” he says when he looks back down at you. The smile on his lips is causing the crinkles around his eyes to appear. You reach up and touch the wrinkles gently with the tips of your fingers.

“If we were playing strip poker today, I totally would have won,” you muse. Henry barks out a laugh before pulling you in for a deep kiss.

“All I’m hearing is that you need a real holiday,” he says, coming up from the kiss.

“Probably,” you sigh and Henry shakes his head.

“Nope, you absolutely need a break,” he says. “And that starts, right now,” he takes your hand in his and raises it to his lips. He gently kisses your knuckles and for some reason, you feel yourself give in to him. “Just you, me, Kal, and Jersey,” he finishes.

“And your family,” you add.

“Eh,” he says quickly and you laugh, surprised at how quickly he dismissed that.

“Alright, deal,” you reply, smirking up at him. Then you take a deep breath in and turn around, throwing your free arm out to the side. “Alright, show me Jersey!” you exclaim. “Unless this is it. This is it, isn’t it?” you ask, turning back to him. He smiles at you.

“No, this isn’t it,” he replies.

“Well then let’s go; I’ve got an island to see,” you state, pulling Henry’s hand as you start walking in a direction. He chuckles as he falls in step with you. Kal, who is happy to be moving again, marches along ahead of you, guiding the way for your first vacation in three years.

—

Later that night, after returning from your hours-long walk, you and Henry decide to call it. You're both exhausted from the day and ready to be off of your feet. However, when you get to bed, neither of you can sleep.

“How do you still have this much energy?” you ask grumpily from your side of the bed.

“I’m laying in bed, in my childhood room, with the woman that I love. How could I not have this much energy?” he asks and your head pops up off the pillow.

“We are not going to address that this is your childhood room,” you reply. “I have three older brothers. I know what happens when the lights go out,” you whisper harshly, making a face. Henry bellows with laughter then quiets down when he hears a knocking on the wall.

“And what’s wrong with happens when the lights go out?” Henry asks, looking at you with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Oh nothing, except when you share a wall with your brother’s room and the walls are very thin,” you spit. Then you gag a little and Henry shakes the bed with laughter. There is more knocking on the wall and Henry quiets down again. “And I see the walls are very thin here too,” you mutter looking up at the wall.

“Then I guess that means you’ll just have to be really quiet,” Henry whispers, turning on his side and moving closer to you.

“What?” you demand but all Henry does is smile at you devilishly. His fingers slipped past your underwear so his knuckles could gently run across the smooth skin beneath the fabric.

“Mm, nope, no. I am not playing this game,” you say, shuddering slightly at the feeling of his touch. He notices.

“What game?” he asks. His hand moves from your underwear to your shirt. He slides his hands under the hem and easily tugs it up and off of you.

“This one, where you tease me and expect me to be quiet,” you reply as he tosses the shirt off the bed. “I won’t do it, no sir-ee,” you say, tipping your chin up dramatically. Henry smiles as he moves closer to you.

“Not a game,” he replies quietly. “Just making sure you’re relaxed,” his fingers graze down your thigh and then back up.

“I am relaxed,” you say, but Henry chuckles.

“That’s not what I mean,” Henry whispers in your ear as one finger easily slips in between your folds. Your mouth drops open, your head tilts back, and you suck in air.

“Not fair,” you moan as your hips begin to rock gently into his hand. You can feel a smile form on Henry’s lips as he presses them firmly into your neck. You moan softly. “That’s not fair,” you whisper between gasps.

“Is that so?” Henry asks, softly nibbling on your earlobe now. Your body is vibrating with pent up pleasure and Henry is taking full advantage of the situation. “So then this wouldn’t be fair, either, would it?” he asks, sliding another finger inside of you. You push your head back, whimpering, and pushing your hips into his hand.

“Oh god,” you moan softly. Henry nimbly works his fingers inside you, kissing the side of your neck as he goes.

“I love seeing the way you respond to me,” Henry murmurs in your ear. “I love the way you feel,” he whispers. “It’s the sexiest thing when you open up to me,” he says.

“Is your intention to tease me the whole night?” you ask through gasps. Henry smiles and nibbles on your earlobe.

“No,” he says quietly before moving down and taking your breast in his mouth. You gasp then quickly snap it shut as his tongue begins to tease your nipple. His breath is warm on your bare skin while his fingers continued to work inside you. A shriek almost escapes from you when Henry begins sucking on your breast while his thumb finds your clit. Your toes begin to curl into the bed and your fingers snake through his curls. “Your breasts,” Henry murmurs, gently kissing the skin around your nipple. “I love your breasts,” his thumb flicks your clit and you whimper. Barely able to contain the sounds you are desperate to release, you pull Henry’s mouth onto yours. He responds immediately by using his tongue to explore yours. You moan softly into him, your fingers digging into his hair. “Oh, y/n,” Henry moans, coming up for air.

You grunt as your hips rock into his hands. “I’m coming,” you gasp. Henry smiles as he kisses you deeply. His thumb massaging your clit, his fingers working deep inside your folds. “I’m coming,” you groan and gasp. Your hips begin to move faster as you breathe harder, pressing your lips hard into Henry’s. Finally, you feel it happen; your walls clench around his fingers as you cum all over his hand. Chuckling under his breath, Henry kisses you sweetly on the lips. “I hate this game,” you mutter, breathlessly.

“I love this game,” Henry mutters back, a devilish smile clear across his face. You squint at him but say nothing as you point in the direction of the bathroom. Breathing heavy, you push your head into your pillow. When Henry comes back, he wraps you up in his arms. “Feeling relaxed yet?” he whispers.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you mumble into his chest, the effects washing over you. Henry chuckles and begins to stroke your hair gently.

“Okay,” he whispers and continues to stroke your hair. You fall asleep to the sensation and the sound of his heartbeat.