#can i delete him yet thx

[milkloafy]

wait..... this is hella cute!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 if ur free to do reqs could you do hsr boys summer headcanons? im not sure if theyre open so it's fine if u dont thx!!! 🩷🩷

SUMMER SUN; SUMMER FUN — AVENTURINE, DAN HENG, JING YUAN

⋆｡˚ ❀ a/n: ty anon for the request!! :> yes they are open so request awayyy ! i love summer sm best season fr so this was such a fun vibe to write :3 i hope u enjoy! i wasn’t sure which hsr guys u wanted so i just picked my current favs AHDKSLDK 

𝜗𝜚 — AVENTURINE

aventurine would love going to the beach with you 

building sand castles, picking seashells, jumping over the shallow waves along the shore

it all feels fun and refreshing to him. something he did not have the luxury to feel when he was younger

at your encouragement, he signs the two of you up for surf lessons one day

aventurine is…not a natural 

you’re both falling off the boards and needing the instructor to come and fish you out of the waves

after a few too many close calls, aventurine decides he never wants to go surfing again 

when the sun sets and golden hour hits, you take one million photos of aventurine, at minimum 

he models and poses for you, enjoying your excitement whenever you get a good shot 

once you’d had your fill, aventurine sneaks a few photos of you as well

he shows you his favorite beach pic of you with a smile

“you’re prettier than the sunset” 

aventurine ends the day off by buying ice cream for the two of you as you head home <3 

𝜗𝜚 — DAN HENG

while dan heng likes the warmth, he is not a fan of the summer heat

he prefers staying indoors during the summer, at the library or in museum with minimal walking around outside during the day

however, he does like sitting underneath the shade of a tree and reading a book 

some days, he’ll set up a hammock between two trees and ask you to join him 

when the heat cools down and the darkness graces the earth, dan heng likes to walk around and go stargazing 

the temperature is perfect at night—not too hot but also not cold enough to need anything other than a long sleeve shirt or a light jacket

dan heng has read about all the constellations you can see in the summer 

he’s disappointed there’s too much light pollution in most places, but for the stars he can see, he points it out to you and explains the story behind it

what constellation it’s part of, what planet is next to it, is that a space vehicle or a cosmo? 

he would definitely go on one of those websites that sell you a star lmao and “buy” one for you

even though he’s aware it’s a scam, he know you’d find it cute. dan heng shows you the certificate of your new star ownership and the two of you look for the coordinates in the night sky together <3

“you deserve the universe, but for now i got you a star”

𝜗𝜚 — JING YUAN

jing yuan thinks going to an amusement park is the peak summertime activity 

doesn’t matter if you are sweating buckets waiting in the long lines surround by body heat. jing yuan comes prepared. he has a hat, a battery-powered fan with a built-in mist spray, and water bottles with ice 

of course, he shares all that with you once you get tired of using your foldable fan

jing yuan is an amusement park snack afficionado. a salty pretzel? yes. a sweet treat? yes. a whole ass turkey leg? also yes. 

you are never hungry during your outing since jing yuan has you covered 

when you want photos taken of you, you show jing yuan exactly how you want it—angle and zoom and everything

yet when he takes the photo, it comes out off

crooked. blurry. you’re half cut off…

the only good photo he took of you is one where you weren’t prepared and have a horrendously silly look on your face 

“jing yuan… delete that right now.” 

“why? i believe it is called a ‘candid’ by the young folks. very popular.” 

you may not have come out with good photos of yourself, but at least you and jing yuan had fun and will treasure these memories forever. no matter how bad the photo to capture it is. 

[softxsuki]

Heyy, I have an urgent request. So I have an eating disorder (restrictive type anorexia) and it was caused because of my mom and how obsessed she was with my weigh and what I ate. I’m getting help but I’m relapsing so can I request Dabi x fem teen! Reader platonic who is struggling with this? Ty in advance! Have a nice day!

Dabi With Anorexic Reader (Platonic)

please don't read if you struggle with and E.D and reading about it will do you more harm than good. thx

Pairing: Dabi x Fem!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: mentions of anorexia, food, being thin, unrealistic weight goals, unhealthy relationship with food, some aggression from Dabi, toxic parents, mental health, trauma

Genre: Comfort??

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 630

Summary: In which Dabi finds out you've been starving yourself and tries to help you out in his own way

[A/N: Helloooooo. This was a tricky one because I can't imagine Dabi being soft and truly very helpful especially since he has his own issues, but I tried my best. Still not that great at writing for Dabi though, so if this triggers you or anything let me know and I'll delete it right away. Hopefully you enjoy it though :) ]

Dabi:

Dabi is blunt, he says things as he sees them and he doesn’t hold back

Having his own problems though, he’s definitely not the person you should go to for help about anything

But you were friends and after noticing how thin you were getting, he had some suspicions

“What’s up with you?” He’d gruffly ask, noticing how sickly you looked

You’d try to play it off, but he pushes you for an answer, he’ll make sure he gets one

You were like a little sister to him, someone he wanted to protect, yet you looked like you were going through a tough time

Knowing he’d never relent unless you give in and express what you’ve been going through, you tell him

“Just trying to lose some weight, no need to be worried”

Yeah, telling him not to worry isn’t gonna cut it. He’s flabbergasted that as thin as you are, you’re saying right to his face that you’re trying to lose weight

For the first time in his life, he tried holding himself back, not wanting to blow up at you because of his worries and possibly make you feel ever worse

But he can’t help it, what exactly is he supposed to do in this situation? Force you to eat? Wouldn’t that make things worse?

He was stunned in silence for a while, trying to collect himself before he said anything he might regret

But like I said, this man is blunt, and as someone who’s younger than him, and treated him like the older brother he always wanted to be, he can’t help but act accordingly

He’s furious as soon as you say you felt this way because of your mother. Why couldn’t parents mind their own business? He sure had his own struggles with parents, not that he wanted to get into that…

But he’s also upset at you for doing such a disservice to yourself, how could you let it get this far? How could HE have let you continue right under his nose without saying anything?

All he knows is he isn’t letting it continue

He’d do whatever he can to help you, which may seem aggressive at first as he refuses to allow you to leave his sight without eating something

He wanted you to know there was a difference between starving yourself and eating healthily

Being thin was one thing, but he wanted you to be healthy yet still being able to fill whatever body ideals you had for yourself in your mind

Perhaps those standards were warped, then he’d try and convince you to be healthier and to aim for a weight that was deemed healthy for someone your age and height

The last thing he’d want if for you too take it to far and to keep lowering your ideal weight since he knows that mental health issues like these get worse over time as you’d never be satisfied with any weight you reached

He hears out your concerns, knowing you’d fight him on a lot of things, but he didn’t care. All that mattered was getting you healthy. He didn’t care if it led you to hating him for the rest of your life, he was used to being alone and hated anyway

But for your sake, he takes things as slow as he can, slowly helping you improve and making you see that there are better ways to stay healthy and have a body that you’d be happy with without putting yourself at risk

So have a little patience with him, he means well. He’d never put this amount of effort in helping anyone, so that just goes to show how precious you are to him–his friend, someone who accepted him as he was, he’d make sure to protect you

REQUESTS ARE OPEN (i accept the ones that inspire me to write)

Posted: 10/1/2023

[annabelle1901]

Lost Frank Castle x Karen Page fic

Hi! So I don't really interact with anyone on Tumblr but I don't really know what else to do, so here we go. I'm back on my Kastle bullshit <3 and I've been trying to find this old fan fiction on AO3 that I started reading years ago. Stopped reading after a certain point but had the tab open on my phone and I thought I'd continue reading eventually.. And then my phone got stolen, and I forgot the title & author name. Not great. I've dedicated the past few days to looking for it and so far I got nothing.

So what I'm gonna do is write down everything I remember like a mad woman in the hope that this jogs someones memory. Please help me this fic haunts me. ANY sort of reference or whatever could potentially help (Tumblr posts, links, screenshots, Google history, etc)

Fandom: Daredevil/ the Punisher obv

Pairing: Frank Castle/ Karen Page

Rating: probably explicit (canon typical violence and eventual smut)

Published: 2016-2017 (started post s2 Daredevil but pre The Punisher s1 because I don't remember any of the plot or characters from that show showing up) might have been deleted in 2020ish

Length: has to be +10 chapters (long chapters as well, don't know if it was finished)

Characters: Matt Murdock/ Daredevil, Foggy Nelson, Claire Temple, Elektra Natchios (I vividly remember them making some sort of appearance)

now let's get really unhinged...

Plot:

Pretty sure the story starts on Karen's birthday but her mood is meh.. She's on her way home or something, gets in her car and Shining Star starts playing which let's her know that Frank was recently there. Something else must have alarmed her because she goes looking for him and finds him in like an alley around her building. He's in really bad shape, bloody practically dying. She carries him to her apartment and either helps him herself or calls Claire Temple.*

*Don't think it was in this part of the story but she helps Frank and makes a joke about him not being healthy enough to be sleeping with Karen anytime soon which makes them blush. Don't think they were intimate yet but tensions were rising.

For the next couple of chapters I remember it was mainly beautifully written angst between them in this contained space while he's healing. Karen doesn't want Frank to get killed while being the Punisher, he resists her care and tries to hurt her by saying "You aren't Maria and could never be" or something.

I also vividly remember a scene where he's grieving and keeps like tugging on this necklace Karen has on while he cries in her arms. She leaves her necklace at his family's graves and the groundskeeper or something tells her not to do that because it'll get stolen but she knows that but does it anyway as a sign of respect.

They sort admit their feelings eventually but don't sleep together yet because they know they can't go back after that. For some reason Frank needs to leave the city for a little while to re-home a dog I believe he found while on a "mission" and the idea is that the time apart will help them decide whether or not they want to be together. They reunite on a sunny, lovely day in the city and go back to her apartment and lots of smut ensues. Daredevil shows up at midnight/ morning to get Frank. Something's going down he needs his help. It doesn't end well somehow Karen gets involved and they both go to the same hospital. Frank is in a coma and Karen visits him when she's allowed and urges him to live sort of mirroring when he first got shot in the head at the carousel. He wakes up but needs to go back to prison. Everything is really bad. The press somehow knows about their relationship as well. Last scene I remember is Karen and Foggy talking about all this and a newspaper printing a picture of Karen's legs with the caption Keys to the Castle? or something. Gross everything sucks and that's where I stopped reading.

So that's about all I can remember, feels like a fever dream. If anyone could help me out I'd really appreciate it. Thx!!

[wovencircle]

(For Masaru!) ♤

make my muse uncomfortable!! | @endlling / @dancersofdestiny

♤ - Who has the best butt out of everyone you know?

“Me, obviously.”

Is he joking? Absolutely not. Why would he ever praise someone else’s ass when he has the best one of them all?

“But, fine. If that’s cheating, then...” Pale lips widen further, his smirk growing as dark eyes narrow with taunting amusement. “Kanata has a rather attractive ass. It’s a shame that he has such an abysmal personality.”

[konaanaria13]

Perfect Darling

James Potter x Reader

I just kinda imagined this i don't like the end product so i might delete it but yuh thx!

Warnings: smut, Breeding, mentions of spit kink, kissing, slight biting kink,

Maybe I wasn't in love. It was a fully possible that all i was feeling was the heat of being in a relationship with somebody.

But I mean it was James Potter, How can you not love a boy who represented the sun?

How could I not look at him and be entierly taken in by his presence, His breath, His smile, His way of laughing, the way he pushed His glasses up and brough His fingers to His lip's.

everything resembled the love you would give to a prince or a royal who is compleatly and madly perfect.

James Potter was Perfection.

"What are you thinking about?" Regulus asked as I looked over to the window.

"Nothing sorry" I looked down at my Potion which we had to do till next friday to get done

"You know ahm The slytherin's wanted to know if you we're free tomorrow?" Regulus asked silently as if it wasn't a big deal.

"No sorry i have homework" I whisper remembering my meeting with Said James.

"Oh okay i was just wondering if you would be able to come to the three brooms sticks with me, Barty, Evan and Dorcas? oh and Pandora should be joining too"

"I would be out of place anyways" I say Putting some finishing touches to the potion in front of us.

"No! ahm well we just thought since we'll you know we're pretty much always teamed up in our shared classes you would want to do something with me? us. but also me? im not asking you out on a date by the way I'm.. not like into you! no offence" Regulus rambled a bit As i smiled.

"Its okay really and I would love to join you guys I really do like working with you but I have something to do... Maybe next time"

"Oh? who?" Regulus cached on Quickly.

"Can't tell... yet" I whisper and He smile's.

"As long its not my idiot brother" He mumbled and I laugh

"Your Brother is an Idiot" I agree

"so is Stupid James" Regulus muttered and I Couldn't help but get a bit red.

"How is it? like your Friends with them? "

"oh... well i don't know my sister is Friend's with them. and you know James liked Lily-"

"Liked?"

"yes he doesn't like her anymore" I whisper and he raises an eyebrow.

"But they're a lot nicer than you think. Believe me he's not so bad. Sirius I mean-"

"I know He's not bad I'm His brother..."  the bell rang and i got my thing's together.

"I'll see you next Friday? it should be done by then?"

"yes!" I smile and leave Quickly Getting up to the Common Room.

"Lily have you taken my Potion's book? i had to use Regulus' all Class" I say sitting down beside Remus and her.

"No? why would i need it your in a different grade?"

"Yeah i know... well ahm I'll see you guys later?" I stood up again going up to my dorm.

"Yeah"

♡♡♡

I went Up to The boy's dorm and knocked.

"come in" James Voice was bright and I opened the door getting inside and Seeing James in the bathroom door shirtless.

"The other's are gone so we have about three hour's on our own!" He walked over to His bed looking for a clean shirt.

"Oh nice" I stared at Him. His body was still wet like His hair from a shower he just took and you could see his eyes trying to look for his glasses.

"There on your desk" I point at one of the four desk that we're pushed up against each other in a square where everything was put on from all four of them.

"Oh yeah thank's" He walked over and put them on looking at me.

"Take a picture" He laughed starting to pose a bit.

"You look good" I close the door taking my Rope off and walking over to his bed sitting down.

"How was Potion's Yesterday we didn't have time to talk?" James put a shirt on to my disappointment and cleared the bed letting me lay down beside him.

"It' was nice, Regulus invited me to the three broom stick's with his Friend's. Not like a Date he just thought we could Hang out."

"Why didn't you say yes?"

"because I wanted to spend time with you. we can barely see each other and we'll We haven't really got any chance to even talk about everything. you just said oh hey Girl! oh hey Friend! oh hey Let's fuck her drunk and  then-"

"I wasn't Drunk?"

"What?"

"And not Girl. Friend. its Girlfriend, And  I like you and i know it's weird cause we can't tell the other's cause-"

"You told me you we're drunk?"

"I didn't- i was but not like drunk enough to not know who you we're!?" His eyes we're on me and i couldn't help but glance at his perfect lip's.

"Your so annoying" I whisper and he laugh's.

"Why?"

"Because I thought you slept with me because you we're drunk. and I thought you wanted to be with me because you we're some kind of gentleman" I whisper and He smile's.

"I knew who you we're and I want to be with you Because I Like you-"

"And my Sister?"

"Your Sister doesn't like me and nor do anymore so don't talk about her anymore" He kissed me his mood changing Quicker than Minny's expression when she got Angry.

"I only want you at the moment so" His lip's pushed against mine and my mood changed to quick as well.

I flick my tongue over his lip, His body rising as he pushed himself up going above me.

"Lock the door idiot" I whisper and he laugh's.

"Already Locked it" He whispered His mouth reconnecting with mine as he pushed his tongue through my lip's His teeth baring against mine.

"James" I whispered my hand's coming up to his face to get him closer to mine.

"Hm?"

"Silencing spell?" I ask and He laugh's pushing himself off me and grabbing His wand over my head whispering Silencio.

"Thank's" I mumble as He kisses My forehead and goes down my neck opening my blouse.

His Teeth dug into my skin as I let my hand's go through His hair, letting out Hot breath's and occasional moan.

His fingers pushed the fabric behind my shoulder and lifted me up so he could unclips my bra which took about three minutes until I did it for Him and He groaned.

"Those things are made way to complicated" He said and I laugh sitting up against Him touching His face my finger's wet from His hair as I bit down on His bottom lip.

"Ah!" He pulled away as I pulled Him back pushing my tongue over the are where I bit down as He immediately melted into my touch.

His hand's went up my back and down, He got  His hand's on my ass squeezing it and pushing me up Putting his Mouth on my Breast taking one of the nipples between his teeth and pulling on it, stretching my skin and sucking on it till it turned purple.

"Take off your skirt" He whispered He pushed me further up to make some space in between us.

I pushed the skirt down and he helped throwing it on the ground as he took his belt off and I set on his lap His Lip's back on my neck.

I let myself grind on him Feeling myself get wet and him get hard under me His hand's still firm on my ass as I quickly got his shirt off, letting my head onto His I let out a moan.

"James-" I whispered.

"Hm-?" I felt salvia drop onto my stomach as He laid me down on my back his hand pushing me down onto my chest as he took a second to breath through, He Quickly took His pants off if we can call Two minutes of struggling Quick.

"you look good like that" I laughed as He kissed me again positioning himself onto me again.

"Do you wanna go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend then?" i ask and he laugh's.

"I have detention with filch" He says and i laugh sitting up.

"Don't you always?" I pull him into a kiss and He fall's into me, it was like pulling a switch in which he just melted into my arm's every time I touched Him.

"Yeah" I put my legs around His waist feeling His hard dick under me, grinding myself above Him, He let out soft pants and lifted me up slowly pushing himself into me making me break the kiss to let out air and a moan.

at first He didn't move watching me closely as I adjusted riding him a little bit until his eyes glanced down at my chest and his hand's went up from my back to my chest and neck moving me up and down.

My moan's increased as he was completely in me.

"Such sweet sound's for me?" He asked whispering laying me down on my back his hip's moving into me as his hand got around my throat and his finger's went over my nipples.

"Stick you tongue out" I did as he told me and his hand thightend spit coming up my throat as he pushed into me deeper and harder

"You look so pretty like that i just want to spit in your mouth" He laughed and I can't explain what happenee while He said that because my entire body melted down I couldn't make a sound and my eyes watered feeling myself cum around him my only thought beung to that comment.

"Fuck did you just cum?" He asked looking down as my eyes went to my head every second he pushed into me.

"Give me a minute and i'll be there baby" He laughed His hand loosend up on my throat and i felt Air move into my lung's my body still unable to move again.

"You look like your high baby" I smile up at him pushing myself up on my elbows.

"Kiss me" I whisper as he got faster again putting His hand on my lower back pushing me up and going faster groaning into my mouth as i let my moan's escape.

"I'm gonna cum" He whispered and I move my hip forward and backwards while he helped me to move up and down quickly feeling him fill me up.

[rosiewritesstuff]

Yo! your blog rocks and i see it's only beginning, so im throwing in a request if you can do it ill be on cloud 9. im a Gladio fan so if i can get a fluffy one with him that be swell. like the big man offering flowers to reader from time to time before asking her out. thx XXX

No Name

Part 1/4

Gladiolus x Fem!Kingsglaive!Reader

DESCRIPTION: You are a tired Glaive with a thin patience for dating, noise, and crowded spaces-- After just getting your heart broken once again, you decide to sail alone in the sea of singleness. However, when being caught filtering in and out of a high security area where you do not belong, you find yourself in a pickle that is too hard to explain… and the problem itself has pretty amber eyes and rippling pectorals.

Authors Note: Hello Anon! I am so sorry this took FOREVER for me to write. (And when I mean forever— I mean FOREVER) I am sure you moved on by now and left this fandom in your rear view mirror, but I will never leave a request unfulfilled— even if it becomes dusty within my request box. But I hope I can make up for the lengthy time gap by giving you a huge story in return. This is probably the longest fic I have written and published ever in my life! I hope I did your request justice, as well as Gladio! Enjoy!

With all this being said, I am now getting to the other request in my inbox! I am so sorry for the wait everyone. Just know I am doing my best to fulfill your requests! For the time being, lets bring on the Gladio love!! -Rosie

Warning: story does contain swearing. Read at your own risk. (Slow burn)

Like it and wish to continue? Here is Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

The morning after a rough, emotionally tolling evening, always held a bit of a sting. When you woke, it was almost like you had forgotten everything that had occurred. Your eyes groggily drank in the cracked pattern of plaster on your ceiling, before trudging down to the split within your curtains. Sunlight fought to stream through the thick fabric, and managed only a bit, giving a small beam of golden light to your bedroom. You sighed, arm falling limply over your eyes in hopes to filter out the small victory the sun had against your curtains. Your alarm hadn't gone off yet, and you had no intentions of getting up any earlier then you already had to.

Motionless you laid, waiting for your body to lull back to sleep. However seconds seemed to drag on more like hours, and your mind began its menial task of compartmentalizing all you had to do for that day.

It wasn't until you finally gave in to your roused state, when everything began to set in again. Disappointment. Sheer and utter disappointment. Not to mention dread. With a heavy sigh, your arm that draped over your eyes shot up and grabbed your phone that rested on your nightstand; still connected to the charger. You were shocked— That even through your anguish, you still managed to put your phone on the hook. That was beside the point. You blinked away the haze within your eyes and read the time that sat in bold white letters against your lock screen. 7:30.

You shifted to sit up, back resting on the headboard of your bed. Unlocking your phone, you sifted through social media, text messages, old pictures, you even flittered through little time wasting games that somehow made it onto your phone. You did this, only to avoid the dating app that had started it all. The reason a crashing headache seemed to throb directly behind your eyes.

The gnawing voice in the back of your mind asked that you open it— Check to see if that guy left you a message. Check to see if he even read the one you had sent. However, the logical part of you itched to delete it, removing every last drop from the memory your phone carried. Inner turmoil raged within your foggy mind, and you sat there staring at the app as if it were the devil— coaxing you to do wrongfully. Your thumb came dangerously close to hitting the app in means of opening it— until your saving grace pulled you from the trance.

Your phone buzzed in your hand, a name splayed as a banner at the top of your screen. Prompto Argentium. Your good friend. You had met by pure happenstance in the Citadel, he was lost on his way to meet up with the Prince. One wrong turn had him treading through the opposite wing of the Citadel. Before he knew it he was nearing the Glaive briefing room, with confusion written across his freckled face. You were the one who found him, and kindly walked him to his destination.

It didn't take long for the two of you to become friends, and exchanged information to keep in touch.

With a shadow of a grin on your face, you answered the phone with a trite greeting.

"Hey you, How did the date go? I have been thinking about you all day. Please tell me it went well." Prompto's chipper voice seemed to do more damage then good; absentmindedly rubbing salt within your wounds.

"Terrible, to put it bluntly," You sighed, voice thick. You cleared it and pushed yourself to sit upward, elbows digging into your legs.

"Why? What happened? He sounded like he was it." Disappointment reflected in Prompto's voice, as if he felt just as broken up as you did. Well more like numb at this point.

"He stood me up. I sat at the restaraunt for an hour before giving up. Lets face it Prompto, romance is dead, and hookups are all the rage. No one wants genuine love—" You were silently waving your white flag in surrender to the gods. As if to beg them to stop adding insult upon injury. They won, and you were now fine with that.

"That is not true. It is out there. You just... gotta sift through the bad ones first." He sighed, "You aren't alone. I'm in the same boat. But just because that dude was a loser, doesn't mean all dudes suck."

You wanted to laugh, but swallowed the urge as you swung your feet to hover over the floor. "They do all suck."

"Hey!—"

"Well except you." You shrugged with a hint of a smile. "Look, I am not all bent out of shape about it. Just sucks is all. But I think I need a break from all of that. Its getting to be taxing on my mental health."

"Take care of yourself, girl! Forget about dudes. Tell ya what, maybe we should meet up for lunch. How does Tony's sound? All you can eat bacon—" Prompto was the king at advertising. And damn did bacon sound good.

"Breakfast for lunch— I am in."

****

That night, as you were walking through the halls of the Citadel, gym bag slung over your shoulder— You didn't allow your mind to argue your decision. You deleted the dreaded dating app, and locked your phone. The feeling that seemed to wash over you was strange. While part of you felt freed from the chains that the app held onto you— there was a note of disappointment. But you swallowed it quickly while reaching deep into your pocket and pulling out a small keycard.

You were far from where you truly belonged, edging towards the opposite side of the Citadel from where you usually worked, trained, and dwelt. It was known that there were designated training rooms for those within the Crownsguard, as well as the Royalty. It was also common knowledge that the individuals holding those high positions had keys to enter those rooms. You however, had an in.

As you neared the large gym doors, you glanced around the nearly vacant hallway. It stretched to the left and right of you for a good distance, before branching off to other smaller corridors. Luckily, they were all empty— The only sound came from your approaching feet and the hum from the air conditioning that rushed through metal plated grates near the ceiling. With a practiced, swift maneuver, you tapped the key onto the metal receiver. You were rewarded with a satisfying click, signifying your allowance into the locked room. The metal handle of the door snapped as you shoved it open.

Unlike the training room where the glaives all gathered, this one was nicer; more spacious, and air conditioned. To add the cherries on top— It was hardly used. And at 8:30 at night, it remained vacant. The gym was empty, aside for the equipment that was scattered across the wooden flooring. You were in the clear.

Like the past two weeks you had been visiting the Royal Training Room, you made a steady strut to the woman's locker room to change out of your uniform and into something with a bit more flexibility. However, when you approached the door, you were met with a sign. In black bold face letters it read: CLOSED FOR MATENENCE. "Of course," You sighed, head tilting in attempt to stretch the muscles that seemed to bunch up in your neck. There was no other choice but to retreat to the next locker room over— the men's. Not that it mattered of course, there was no one around. You were alone. You walked the few paces to your left and stepped through the door, sliding your heavy gym bag from off your shoulder.

You hardly looked up as you dumped your bag to the floor. But as soon as you did, you caught a flash of movement. Your gaze whipped from the tile to a large man, white towel clinging to the slight swell in his hips. Your eyes raked up the figure, starting at the calves and growing ever so slowly upward. The figure had a tattoo that stretched from his lower back, and painted his tanned skin all the way across his shoulder blades and bled towards his arms. The detailed ink made the shape of a bird and its wings… and could only be owned by none other then—

"Care to explain why you are here?" His gruff voice reverberated off the walls, and spiked the nervousness in your chest. The muscular man turned to look at you, a second towel clenched in his hand; sopping up the moisture from his soaked, dark brown hair. He seemed unbothered that you had walked in on him, post shower and half naked. However he held a scowl that could be written off as deadly— especially for someone who absolutely did not belong there at all. His thick eyebrow slowly climbed up his forehead, thick lips beginning to flatten into a displeasing line.

You caught yourself gawking and swallowed hard before whipping your head towards the floor. Crouching, you snagged the handles of your bag and threw it over your shoulder. "I am so sorry, I did not mean to intrude. The woman's—"

"I am well aware. I'm talking about in general." He was blunt, and shot straight to the point.

"Ah, I am not sure." You were in for it now. And to spoil all of the luck you had rushed in with the past few weeks— you were busted by the Sworn Shield of the Prince. "Again, my mistake, I will leave."

"No you won't. and don't act like you just stumbled in here. I am not an idiot."

Of course not, you wanted to say, there is a key to get in— "Look, It was my mistake. I will just go—"

"How did you get in here?" Gladiolus gruffly asked. You sighed and took two steps closer to the door; back turned to him to avoid his tempered gaze. At least what you imagined it was.

You had an insider's help— at least that was the honest answer. Were you prepared to give that answer? absolutely not. That would just be throwing Prompto under the bus. You swallowed thickly, bolstered up your bravery and straightened your back. Confidence, you've read in a psychology textbook, can sometimes work within your favor. "I'm afraid I cant share that information."

Gladio huffed, clicking his tongue. The towel he had been drying his hair with was thrown to the bench in front of him. "You best, or you will find yourself in a heap more trouble then you are already in. This training room is for authorized personnel only and as much as I admire the Glaive, you do not count."

The back handed, not really, but kind of a compliment made your heart swell. But only for a moment— It was pilfered rapidly by the growing nerves that continued to pulsate through your veins; even despite your desperate attempts to quell it by bolstering fake confidence. You bowed your head and took another side step to the door. "Yes, I know. I don't have ill intentions. I just like the peace and quiet. The Glaive training room is always crowded, loud and I hardly have space to work with. But like I said: I can't tell you anything. I am sorry again,"

Another step had you half way through the small juncture before the door. You were almost free. "You wait for me outside the locker room. We are not finished with this, and you are not leaving. This is serious."

Serious, he acted like using a gym was a grade A felony. But in fear of being hunted down by what everyone knew as one of the strongest men in the Citadel, you rather not take any chances. You gave him a subtle wave of your hand before finally leaving the locker room.

Part of you felt stupid for not running. He didn't catch your face, or at least to your knowledge— and he had no other information. If you made a break for it, then could he really come after you? You weighed out your options, feet nervously stuttering beneath you. Your foot moved towards the door, however as quickly as your mind changed its thinking; it cemented back in place. You balanced on this uncomfortable precipice for what felt like ever— until you made your decision: leave.

You unglued your heavy foot from off the ground, and took your first step towards freedom. But it ended quickly when the locker room door hinges squealed with dread. Instinctually, you whipped your head around. Gladio stood easily 6'6, rippling muscles cascaded up his thick biceps and continued throughout his upper half. The thin, tight, tank top that Gladio wore seemed to leave very little to the imagination. This man was built. And leaving probably meant your demise. But in the same regard— staying could mean the same as well. Again you swallowed the thickness in your throat and you turned fully to face the Shield. "Listen, Gladio. I don't really want trouble. I just came here looking for a peaceful work out. Sorry for barging in on you, and sorry for being here." Your words sounded more confident than you truly felt, which you supposed could be a good thing… after all, Psychology.

"I will ask again, and I want the real answer. How the hell did you get in here?" Did he just fully ignore you? You were growing tired of the constant questioning. Despite the welling of fear that pooled in your stomach, you flashed a cheeky smirk. You learned far more in your Psychology classes than you had ever thought.

"Maybe you shouldn't leave the door unlocked, it would save from all this trouble." You shrugged, head tilting to the automatic locking door. Reverse Psychology. Snark usually got you nowhere. That is what your mother always said in her usual strict, no nonsense tone. And she was always right on every account. But it didn't make it any less appealing to speak that way.

You were lucky to catch the cascading thoughts flooding through Gladio's mind. His amber eyes told the story well. It began with fear, back tracking through his past hour— then a sudden crash of realization-- then the final touch of sharpness when he picked up on your idiocy. "Enough of the games—"

"Like I said Gladio, It was great meeting you, but unfortunately this is beginning to bore me, and I have places to be this evening. Its been swell." You turned on your heels with a little bit of oomph, hair whipping to follow your wake. You trekked with a steady step towards the door.

"Hold it! I didn't even get your name!" he shouted, voice booming against the walls of the training room. You waited for him to grab you and detain you. Which he was more than capable of doing; considering you were in the wrong, committing crimes against the Citadel— even if they did seem insignificant. However that wasn't going to stop you from making a break for it.

You only tilted your head back to respond: "Sorry for being inconsiderate… As unfortunate as it sounds, I was never given a name."

"That's bullshit." His voice flickered away from the strict tone it usually carried. It cracked as if to show a bit of amusement. Were you amusing the Prince's Shield? You knew you were dead meat, and most likely were about to be in a long ass conference with the General, Marshal, and most likely the witness of your heinous crime. Boldness and confidence occasionally worked within your favor, and you were ready to gamble that.

"Says the guy with a name. Catch ya later!" You pushed hard at the gym doors, and quickly made your get away.

[hmslusitania]

when buck adds a ❤️ after his contact name in eddie’s phone as a prank, bro, and eddie never quite gets rid of it. what then hayley

Look, when Buck goes through all of Eddie's frequent contacts, pins everyone important's chats to the top of his messages ("Buck, why are there bubbles with everyone's ID pictures in them when I open my texts??") he also gave those nine people/groupchats their own emojis and, see, he used up the firefighter emoji for Bobby, and he used the ambulance emoji for Chim, and the fire extinguisher for Hen, and the firetruck for the 118 A shift's group chat, as well as the siren (had to bracket it, obviously??) and so his options for himself (pinned at the very top row right between Chris and Abuela -- I know Chris doesn't have his own cell phone yet, but like. Kid's almost 11. It's gonna happen sooner than later) were like?? Just an actual fire? And that seems kinda aggressive, right? So he picked a different red emoji and yeah, maybe he picked the heart to see how long it would take Eddie to call him on it.

And then he just...doesn't?? And there's just a heart next to Buck's name in Eddie's phone now?

And then Eddie starts using it like punctuation which is weird, right? Like instead of Eddie's (already questionably punctuated) texts ending with a full stop (because Eddie texts like he's writing an essay on a nine key -- weird abbreviations but full punctuation; everyone's tried to fix him, there's nothing for it. Buck and Chris even conspired to go into his keyboard shortcut settings and replace the abbreviations with autofill full words and Eddie, in a fit of technological incompetence no one expected, somehow deleted the shortcuts) they start ending with a heart?

And so now, Buck's like, kinda freaking out a little? Because every text Eddie sends him ends with a heart now? And what's he supposed to do with that! How's he supposed to be like "Hey bro, if you want people to not think we're dating you probably shouldn't end all of your texts to me with a heart???" because that's a weird conversation to have, isn't it?

Anyway, finally, Buck's like, "Eddie, you keep ending all your texts to me with a heart," and he tries not to say it any kind of way, but it comes out a little pitchy despite his best efforts.

"Yeah, it finishes my thoughts," Eddie replies. Which. What? What the fuck.

So Buck pulls up all their recent messages:

Can you pick up some of that weird cereal you and Chris like on your way over? ♥️

Thx ♥️

You left ur sweatshirt here ♥️

ok well im stealing it then ♥️

ok ♥️

did you have to get me the Hildy toaster, Buck, you know how I feel about that ♥️

see you at work ♥️

"In what way does a heart complete your thought on all of these?" Buck asks, reading them off. "You're still annoyed with me about the toaster."

"I am annoyed with you, you're absolutely correct," Eddie agrees. And then he shrugs because of course he does and adds, "still love you though."

(Buck starts signing all his texts to Eddie with the ❤️‍🔥 emoji after that. It still takes them another like three weeks to figure out they both actually mean it)

[klance-fics]

Do you know of any modern au childhood friends to lovers klance fics ? Thx 😘😊

hey so i have a few!

Of Pink Freckles and Green Moles

BleuSarcelle

Lance now can see the boy’s face and he can only stare at the pretty color in the boy’s eyes before he’s suddenly being squished by two hands.

“Papa!” the boy shouts happily back at the adult that makes his way other them hurriedly. The boy hardly notices, still too fixed on squeezing Lance’s cheeks for a second longer before he giggles. “Papa, ugly!”

“Keith, no! Oh my god -”

“Ugly,” the boy repeats obliviously, patting Lance’s cheeks with a proud gleam in his eyes. “Ooh-gly!”

Lance doesn't know what that word means but for some reason, it makes him cry harder.

[Or the one where Keith and Lance meet when they are two and three years old respectively and spend their entire childhood going through charity contests. Lance says they are rivals, Keith only hears 'best friends'.]

But love is not a challenge

crystalklances

Keith is fine with not having a date for his parents’ anniversary. Until his sister mocks him and he ends up convincing his family that he’ll bring along his cute boyfriend—a boyfriend he doesn’t actually have.

Enter Lance, who has a big old crush on Keith and agrees to play the part—thinking this is as far as he’ll get to dating his best friend. Little does he know that Keith’s very convincing “attentive boyfriend” act is more real than either of them thinks it is when they enter the deal.

Cacoethes

dailyandgaily

keith [2:43 am] sup im in love with you also what’s the answer for number four on the math hw?

Then he realizes Lance hasn’t read his texts yet.

So Keith just needs to swipe Lance’s phone long enough to delete his naïve, little confession.

where & how we'll land

xintong

The first time Keith meets Lance is also the first time they kiss. It all goes downhill for him from there.

[ava-of-shenanigans]

Hey, I saw you deleted your comments off my post about Seward and I just wanted to let you know that I did value and appreciate your input.

I know I didn’t reply but to be completely honest I was in the car on a road trip irl and really tired and couldn’t figure out how to respond to something so clearly heartfelt and thought-out. My body wanted me to just write “k thx 👍” and be done but I knew in my brain that it deserved a thoughtful reply and so I decided to wait until I had more energy.

But then I went to reply just now and ✨lo and behold✨ it was gone. So I just wanted to let you know you’re not cringe, (in case that’s why you did it, I know there’s other reasons you might have) and to reply to you now (which is actually better since asks don’t have a character limit and I’m incapable of saying things concisely.)

Medical malpractice, especially in psych, is a huge and horrible problem that is bigger than any one person (or fictional character) and I’m really, really sorry that it happened to you. I’ve been incredibly lucky to have had nothing but positive experiences in my trips in and out of the psych system. But I’m rich and I’m white and my mom is a doctor and I know that my experiences are not the majority.

I want you to know that I don’t respect Seward as a character, and I don’t think he’s kind, and I don’t condone his actions. I think you’re right in saying that he’s not like “prevented from being the good kind cinnamon roll that he really is” by his contemporaries, and that he’d be a morally gray character in any context.

But at the same time, I personally really relate to him. (I think that was evident enough from my original post lol.) I relate to feeling like you’re broken, and going to lengths to clinically understand yourself. I relate to feeling like you must be mad. I relate to feeling like there’s something wrong with you that nobody can see, and wanting them so badly to see it but at the same time never wanting anyone to know. I relate to being put in positions of power, to being “gifted,” to being “attractive,” and to feeling like you’re not the right person to be doing this.

I even relate to the bad parts of him - the low empathy, the way he takes out his disappointment about Lucy’s proposal out by intentionally inducing distress in Renfield, and then writing so clinically about it later. I fear and hate those parts of myself, and reading about Seward doesn’t make me more likely to indulge them. On the contrary, it makes me look at them more critically. It makes me say, “oh look, I’m not uniquely horrible for having this thing inside of me. There are other people like me, and here’s an example of what not to do about it.” If I were to continue to bury it and beat myself up about it in secret, it would be a lot easier and feel a lot better when I get the opportunity to let it out. But knowing that I’m not alone holds me accountable.

And yet I don’t want that projection to be a rose-tinted lens. I did think that Seward was…a lot kinder than he evidently turns out to be. And that’s because, (to be completely objective godIhatesayinggoodthingsaboutmyself,) I’m a fairly kind person, and I relate to his position being in authority over people he knows he’s not that different from. But I try to be critical of myself while still liking myself, and that absolutely carries over into how I read books.

I understand not being able to like Seward because of personal trauma. But I want you to know that I’m not trying to undermine what Renfield and you and everyone who’s gone through medical abuse at the hands of someone like Seward has experienced just because I like the man and I think he’s autistic. He sucks and I’m extremely critical of him and I cannot WAIT to cyberbully the everliving shit out of him, and I’m grateful to you for letting me know that he’s not as good as I thought he was. I have trouble changing my internalized perceptions even in the face of evidence, and otherwise I might have been as convinced of his kindness as he evidently is that vampires aren’t real.

Along that vein, it does sounds like he gets worse. But it also sounds like I’m only going to relate to him more.

I don’t think there’s more I can say without rambling or repeating myself, but thank you for letting me know about the “mad doctor” notes and the trope subversion. I’ve tried writing this sentence several times with some bullshit about how it’s going to “enhance my reading experience” or “deepen my understanding” but the truth is that nothing can convey my feelings on the matter better than the following:

👀👀👀 HEWWO??? 😳😳😳 sLURPSLURP 😋😋😋😋 *rubs my little handses together* OOOHOHOHO CANNOT W A I T heehehehehe thankyou thankyou >:) EXCITED!!!!

Anyway. Sorry for writing a fucking essay. And for being generally pretentious, and if it’s genuinely morally wrong for me to like a character who represents something so shitty about the real world. But!!! Now I have more to be embarrassed about for putting this in your inbox than you do for putting your thoughts in my comments!!! And genuinely, I love reading and literature and literary analysis so if you answer this with something equally wrong guarantee I will read and enjoy it.

So Um. Ya.

Yeah thank you for this!

A lot of the discussion I have with people online feel like complete miscommunications where I feel like I’m not coming across clearly and like I’m misinterpreting/misunderstanding what the other person is saying somehow, so this was really nice.

/gen

[twopoppies]

Do u know of any fics where larry are journalists, like involved with a case or something? thx x

Hi darling. I’m so surprised I haven’t done this trope yet. Thank you for the ask! And thank you to @cuethetommo for jogging my memory!

written in the stars (that’s me and you) by @fackinglouis (E, 23K) To be honest, the prompt asking for “bratty Louis” kept me from reading this at first, but I’m so glad I did anyway, because I really, really liked this fic. It’s sweet and funny and the story has a tense little twist. Plus, both Harry and Louis’ characterizations are charming. Journalist Harry. Psychic Louis. 

Make Your Words A Weapon by @helloamhere (E, 36K) I recently read this a second time and it’s even better than I remembered. I love everything this author writes. This one just really hit me hard for whatever reason. Maybe it’s the way they explore Louis’ anxiety and coping mechanisms and pain and the way he pushes people away and protects himself, but also wants someone to push back just a bit and love him despite all of that. And the way Harry is the perfect foil for all of it, while also feeling like a fully developed character himself. Yeah, it’s probably all of that. Plus soul marks! Musician Harry, music journalist Louis

Black With Autumn Rain by Whimsicule (T, 93K) This writer is a favorite. If you like intense, creative stories, with complex characters and tight dialogue, you should read all of their fics. This one has the flavor of a Daphne du Maurier novel – dark, creepy, and moodily romantic. Plus a supernatural edge. It’s so good.

feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream by togetherwecouldbealright (M, 123K) I read this one so, so long ago that all I remember is that I loved it, that there’s some really romantic and sweet moments, and that my notes from way back when only say, “OMG this one is so good! And I’ve barely gotten to the smut!” HAHAHAHA! Journalist Harry/prince Louis (this fic has been deleted, so the link is to a download).

24K Magic by @justalittlelouislove (E, 33K) I’m always so glad to have a category in which I can rec this author! I love everything they write, but this was the first one I’d read and it’s just great. Smooth dialogue, sexy smut, great description of character growth…just a really fun fic. Writer Louis / musician Harry

Sing When You’re Winning by hazmesentir (NR, 91K) another one I read ages ago, but I always like this author’s writing and the premise of newly out footballer Louis and journalist intern Harry who somehow snags the interview, is such a fun one. And I don’t know why it has an NR rating, there’s plenty of smut.

That Sounds Fake But Okay by dancingontheceiling (E, 113K) This one has a little bit of everything: Enemies to lovers, fake relationship, famous/not famous... plus, really good writing and some sexy smut scenes. Actor Louis / journalist Harry.

[cheesus-drabbles]

Current List of Asks Received

for my folks who have sent in asks, you can check here if i've received it! may delete those that i'm not too keen on writing later on. not sure what's the best way to format this, so not in any particular order as i've started working on some~

Masterlist 

You probably already watch the latest episode of Tokyo Revengers, or read the manga, but I wonder how the reader would handle the current relationship with Kazutora and Baji leaving the group?

Hello, I am that anon who request how readers would handle baji and kazutora leaving Toman. To answer your question, I would say go wild with it, I think it would be interesting how Takemichi is allowed to talk with reader, but it would be so much more angsty without him *wink* *wink*

Hello, I am the *wink* *wink* anon. I am so sorry to hear you got shadow banned, wish I know how I can help, but I am pretty clueless about it. Can’t wait to read the part two of yan toman!

About the prompt with Kazutora and Baji leaving, I think you can make it a happier ending since we got a new factor in this au aka the reader. I know the toman boys probably don’t wanna drag them in, but with Baji and Kazu's friendship are on the line, Mikey might be desperate enough to ask them for help cause the reader is probably the only person both of them would listen or Takemittchi convince Mikey to do that? Heck, maybe the reader volunteered to do so cause they don’t wanna lose another friend.

You don't have to do any of these but just food for thoughts *wink* *wink*

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I love your platonic yandere hcs! Can I ask how the Toman boys would react to their friend developing a crush on a later member of Toman, specifically Chifuyu? Thanks!

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yandere bsf baji reacting to reader wanting to break off their friendship 🧍🏻‍♀️…

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Hi!! I saw that you were looking for scenarios and I think I have one! Yandere toman finding out that the reader has a different group of friends and they really didn't like it 👀 idk if you would like this one but give it a thought 👍 thx for reading, this I live ur writing!!!💖💖

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Hey hey can I get rindou haitani yandere headcannons plz

+++++++++++

hiii i love your blog and your writing! 💞 so i was just thinking about platonic yan toman boys and them protecting their oblivious best friend y/n from being hit on by members from another gang, how do you think the boys would react to y/n being hit on?

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Hi bestie! Hope you doing good^^ I would like to request for toman,the founder members ft takemichi and chifuyu, x bestie! Reader. so the reader is a member of toman, and a member of their school band club. No one in toman know about this, then one day the reader's band club performance is the same day as toman's war with another gangs. After the fight the reader is in hurry and look anxious, this causing the other members curious why would the reader act like that. So how their reaction when reader is actually a band member? Thankyou for letting me request!

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Could i ask for headcanons on how the platonic yandere toman boys would react to their friend/reader being an idol in training?

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Like I know what would happen but tell me anyways. How would the platonic toman boys react when yn calls and says she is being followed???

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Not a request but imagine someone from reader's school asking them out, so they start just friends to see how compatible they are like chatting at school to texting. Reader never tell their toman's friends cause the relationship is not official yet, but one day, one of the boys found out. I feel terrible for them XD

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Good morning/evening/night , can i request for best friend Baji react of reader being bullied by their classmates? Please feel free ignore if you want to , i hope you have a great day!

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Skoskwjdoajsksjsosnaosnaiska helloi👹

So I was reading like a lot of ur works n stuff and like I was wondering if you were ok with writing for Senju Kawaragi like her a YANDERE?? think Abt it like this girlboss needs love😩 but that's if ur ok writing Abt her. If u don't I'll still support u bestie ❤️💞 kepp up the good work and take breaks like I love how often u post but it's concerning, plz take breaks or u might burn out ;-;

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Idk if you reply but the ask is open, if it's not and I would like to apologize but if it is then lemme tell you the idea that's been bugging my mind. Platonic Yandere Toman with a darling that can leap through time, like straight up time travel. But unlike Takemitchi, there is no current 'her' that could be in autopilot mode like in the timeline where she left, she straight up disappears and just arrive in the future where she have been missing for years with no trace.

AAAAAAAA That Time Travel scenario is just a brain fart while I was watching The Girl who leapt through Time asakshdi. I was thinking about her accidentally activating it after Takemitchy is shoved into the incoming train, like I can see Takemitchy helping her after he found out her powers and trying hard figuring out how to help her to control her Time Traveling powers since she doesn't have a trigger like Naoto while avoiding Toman or Bonten members in the future time she's stuck at

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Hey, It's me, the one that sent the time traveling ask, I've sent one related to it but it was days ago, idk if you seen it. Anyways, I have another idea. Platonic Toman darling who's a former leader of another powerful gang. The current members of the gang are begging for her to come back since its not what it used to be and the darling caved in to them since she also sees the gang as her friends, lmao sorry sorry for dumping my ideas to you I just need to get these ideas out of my head

Ahaha no worries cheese-chan (hey can I call you cheese-chan?) I just think of the commanders as opposite of their appearance for example the taiju looking guy is a total fashionista and actually designed the gang's uniform, maybe there are equivalent of Toman gang (Except Mikey ofc) to The Red Dragonflies, Toman will have beef to Red Dragonflies for darling for sure

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Time Leaper anon here, I've seen The chifuyu crush, well I was just listening to positions by ariana grande and this just got me thinking. The darling is in the karaoke bar on her own and of course being stalked by Toman, she isn't in relationship with chifuyu and just have a crush on him. And she chose the song and before she sings she said " This is for chifuyu" and just nail the song while dancing,

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Yooo, it’s winky wink anon. I know I send lots of things to you, but I think I just got a bright idea for possible fanfic or hcs, which also explained why Takemitcchi can talk to reader without being glared to dead by the boys and a little continuation from my ask.

Setting

The timeline where reader help the toman to get Baji and Kazutora back.

Happened between the end of baji arc and the next arc

Plot points

* Takemittchi went back to the future after the baji's arc ended to find out that shit still play out the same, so he and his girlfriend's brother started to investigate

*they found out that Toman was fighting with some gang and the victim was non other than the reader!

*thus, Takemittchi had to go back in time to find out why the reader is dead or in coma

* Why would the reader being targeted? After Tetta witnessed how much influenced they have on the boys, it was obvious to him that Reader gotta bite the dust for him to create the toman he dreamed of.

*Being a genius asshole Tetta was, he pulled some strings and give the info of toman weaknesses to other gangs that hold a grudge on Toman or simply wanna take them down. Resulting the reader being kidnapped, beaten which led them to be traumatized, coma or possibly dead.

* the boys blamed themselves and each other on what happened to the reader, creating a crack between their friendship, which also create opportunities for Tetta to start his plan.

*It's up to Takemittchi to change this grim fate

Welp, that’s all I can come up at the moment, and I don’t want you to feel pressured to write because how long this ask is. Just think of it as a suggestion cause I need someone to listen to my ideas XD.

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Yo! I have another idea for Former gang leader darling, what if she goes back to being a leader not only from pressure but also the rival gang that they are currently fighting like the black dragons. She have a grudge on Taiju for something like hurting his siblings and being a straight up asshole, she wants to get back at him and secretly becomes the Red Dragonfly leader because she doesn't want to Toman to find out about her past - Time leaper anon

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Yandere!Falling!Stalker!Baji for a sweet but confident and spicy reader??

i want this dangerous combination,please??

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Answer whenever you have free time, this isn't a request for a one shot. But how dangerous do you think yandere Getou would me

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Yo yo lets do Sakuna meeting his reincarnated darling, we talked about it in dms 👀

[allthingshetalia]

So this is oddly specific so you can delete if you don’t want to do it, could a get maybe a fic of kid!russia or kid! Prussia being taken care of by reader, like despite the fact they don’t grow old like her or are shunned by the village for being weird she takes of them like a older sis/mom until she dies of old age. Then present day they see her again walking around except she doesn’t remember her previous life, do they interact with her or just keep their distance? Thxs!!

💕I like this idea!!!💕

Russia

He won’t interact with you just yet. He’ll watch you from afar, being lowkey very stalkerish. You have no idea what you mean to him and that makes him sad. One day your paths are bound to cross and he will welcome it with open arms. While he isn’t ready to be hurt again, it would hurt him more if he wasn’t able to be a part of your life.

Prussia

He would go up to you immediately. He already knows what interests you and he hopes that by some miracle you will remember him. He feels the overwhelming urge to protect you- like you had done to him. He wants to make you feel safe and loved when no one else will. He wants to be your rock. That’s doesn’t mean he wants a romantic relationship, he just wants to be close to you again.

[passable-talent]

About Me

HELLO I AM ROE basic info is as follows: College student, He/Him, Gae

To be a bit more in depth- I’ve never got any time but what time I do have is dedicated to the things I love. I’m a third degree black belt and I teach kids, I tutor, I hike, but mostly I write. Up until now I’ve only really written for myself, knowing (hoping?) my pieces would never see light of day. I want to push myself and go outside my comfort zone.

I’m writing a novel yet untitled that I love- started work on it in March ‘18. But when I work on one project for too long, I get burnt out, so I really need short stories to refresh my creativity and become a break in my schedule. So, please, offer me stories you want to see come alive and I’ll do my best to honor them.

Guidelines

for,,, reasons, you will be tagged in your requests, you will not receive a notification that says ‘passable-talent answered your ask'

i in no way will answer requests sequentially, please don’t expect it from me, it won’t happen, please don’t get your hopes up

I do reserve the right to ignore/delete a request that makes me uncomfortable.

I won’t do anything that mentions bad mental health, depression, self harm, abuse, etc. I don’t need to relive middle school, thx (also reader inserts involving these things tend to glorify it as a way to get attention from a significant other,,, yikes)

Everything I do will be gender non-specific, so that it can be enjoyed by anyone. This means, in no uncertain terms, I will not write female reader. Stop requesting it.

However every request I am given in which gender/sex actually matters I will do only male reader. As someone who’s looked for male inserts extensively- there are far too few, as well as the fact that I’m really uncomfortable with female reader stuff… long story :/

This does apply to trans male, I will absolutely write trans male stuff. request it!

I will do smut- but only if I deem it okay for me. No matter what it’s only what I’m comfortable with. However I am a freak so

If u request smut from an underage character I will be forced to smite ur gall bladder

Fight me

I will do: reader inserts, headcanons, character pairings, song fics. More will be added to this list so feel free to send it in anyway

Make sure that you give me something to work with, but don’t be too specific! I’m a world builder at heart, allow me to have fun and room to add details.

feel free to request a continuation of anything ive done, no matter how old it is! i find these super flattering and fun :)

along with the last point- even when requests are closed, you can still request these extensions!!!

DISCLAIMER. I am in college. And I may get a lot of requests- I hope. So please, know that I probably am not ignoring you, I probably did get your request, I just may take a while to get there.

(EDIT 7/12/2021- as you may have noticed. i don’t write very often anymore. when i do, it’s rarely requests. feel free to try anyway, but damn. i don’t be doing this anymore)

Fandoms More will be introduced as I remember/discover them

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Star Vs. the Forces of Evil

Syfy’s The Magicians

ABC’s Once Upon a Time

Cobra Kai

The Maze Runner

Markiplier Egos

Teen Wolf

Z-Nation

Disney’s Descendants

Disney Movies (Frozen, Treasure Planet, etc)

Dreamworks Movies (Rise of the Guardians, How to Train Your Dragon, Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas, The Road to El Dorado, etc)

Unwind Series (All 5)

Avatar the Last Airbender

Gravity Falls

Disney Channel’s ZOMBIES (+2)

Hunger Games

Star Wars (Prequel, Original, Sequel trilogies)

Umbrella Academy

Random Hayden Christainsen movies (Outcast, Shattered Glass, Takers, Life as a House)

- 🦌 Roe

[mxsmwndr]

Merry Christmas, Darling

Pairing: Modern!Newt x Reader

Summary: Being single is tough sometimes. Friends tease you, family members don't leave you alone, and people flirt with you constantly. It's especially tough when you have a crush on your best friend. Especially when you need him to pretend to be your date to a party.

Terms: (Y/n) is Your Name

Warnings: Nothing too bad. There is a small panic attack towards the end.

A/N: Happy holidays!! This one's dedicated to the wonderful @technolilly! Thank you for all of your requests!! There may or may not be a crush x reader fake date coming soon Bold is texting back and forth, and if you don't have your ears pierced, pretend they're something else! Here's the 'Soft Rock' playlist from this story! I actually have one!! (Cannon that Newt only listens to rock. Alt for if he's feeling pumped/angsty, and classic for the relaxing times/late nights)

Disclaimer: I don't own your or Newt or this idea

"Actually, you're wrong." You said before you could stop yourself.

"Oh, really?" Minho challenge. "How so?"

Shuck. "Well, you see... um, I'm already dating him. It's just... it's a secret, so you can't tell anyone." You said.

Minho raised an eyebrow, but seemed satisfied with your answer. "Okay. Then prove it." He said.

Oh shuck. You thought, but still decided to see how far you could push yourself. "How?"

That would give you time to come up with a lie.

Minho shrugged, and you cursed yourself.

"Fine." You said. "I'll bring him to the Christmas party Saturday." No, no! You shucking liar! Shut up! The voice inside your head screamed at you. You ignored it, though, enjoying the idea of destroying Minho's delicate ego.

In a friendly way, of course.

Minho looked shocked for a moment, which soon melted into a sly smirk. "Good. I'll see you there, then." He said, and cockily leaned against the staircase railing besides him.

You were about to release the breath you didn't realize you held until Minho spoke up again. Quickly, and to stop yourself from saying anything else you'd regret, you decided to distract yourself by tying your shoes.

"Oh." He said, clicking his fingers as if he just remembered something. "Thomas said to dress fairly nice." He said with a wink, and turned around to open the door.

"I always 'dress fairly nice'." You mumbled to yourself, and stopped Minho from leaving you at the door. "Minho!" You yelled. He turned, "Never wink at me again!" Minho smiled at you, signaling that he got your message. You got your other shoe on, yelled a quick goodbye, and shut the door behind you, making your way to your car. "How am I gonna get out of this one?" You asked yourself while you drove home.

--

Remember when you specifically asked Minho not to tell anyone about you and Newt? Yeah, that didn't really work.

Lesson learned, Minho's not great at keeping secrets.

He's not even close to being good, actually.

The next day, which just had to be Monday, was the day you discovered that. Really, it was when you found out that Minho told Thomas, who told Teresa and Brenda, who told Aris, who called Sonya, who decided not to tell Newt but instead to tell Harriet, who told Alby. Luckily, Alby can keep a secret. And as it turns out, he can make other people keep secrets.

So when Newt got to school on Wednesday, he didn't know anything about your little lie.

And that's how you liked it.

"Hey, Newt!" You called to your best friend, and ran over to him while waving a hand.

He turned to you, and his beautiful golden eyes locked with yours. "Hey!" He said excitedly as he limped towards you.

You gave Newt a hug, which he eagerly returned. Then, you pulled him away, hardly noticing the way he clutched onto you for a little longer. You kept your hands rested on Newt's shoulders, and looked him deeply in the eyes.

"I need to tell you about something." You said slowly while you checked your sorroundings for eavesdroppers (Minho and Thomas). When you were finish, you added "But not here."

Newt gave you a confused look, but Minho jumped onto his shoulders, so the expression quickly melted into a boyish grin. They did a little handshake, and you decided to be on your way to your first hour the second Minho winked at you--even though you told him not to.

--

U busy rn? You texted Newt. His Bitmoji popped up, and put a hand on it's chin like it was thinking.

No Came the response after a few seconds.

Kay You said. You thought for a moment, and quickly typed a response. Wanna fake date? You asked. Shaking your head, you quickly deleted the response and came up with another one.

R u going to the christmas party?

Newt's Bitmoji thought again, dissapeared directly after his response popped up.

Planning on it

Again, you replied with: Kay

Can u help me with something? You added, just before anxiety of Newt's reaction told you not to. Theres a guy at school who won't leave me alone... so can you pretend to by my boyfriend? Just for a little bit

With what Newt texted.

You thought for a moment, and replied with a quick lie; This is going to sound rly weird but there's a shank at school who keeps flirting with me so I may or may not have told him that I had a boyfriend so he'd back off? You slammed 'send' before your anxiety even thought of telling you no. Again.

Newt's Bitmoji jumped up, and started thinking. This felt like an eternity for you, when it was mere seconds.

Or maybe it wasn't.

Maybe it really was and eternity, and you thought it was only a few seconds. Maybe he really was about to screenshot it to send to all of his friends and ruin your life.

But that wasn't like him. Not at all.

So maybe he was trying to think of an answer so he couldn't mess this up instead--or he was asking his sister for help. Maybe he loved what you guys had, and didn't want to ruin it over a silly crush. Maybe he wanted to date you for real instead.

Whatever the reason, you both hated being put in this position. Maybe some (you) more than others.

Oh my god. Why'd I do that?! I screwed us up. Oh no, oh no. You thought. You were about to write a reply saying nevermind, when Newt's response popped up.

So u want me to pretend to be the boyfriend

You winced at yourself, at how cringy it sounded--asking your best friend to fake date you so you could prove something else to your other best friend while having secret feelings for the first one--but reluctantly confirmed Newt's theory.

Newt took a while to respond, but still less than he did before. Who is the slinthead anyway

What? You asked yourself. What does that have to do with anything?

You didn't want to point fingers, so you went with a safe bet in saying: You don't kno him.

Does Minho

No

Tommy

No

Anybody

Not that I know of. Why does this matter so much? U gonna beat him up?

Newt typed a response, but apparently deleted it and typed something else. You meant the text as a joke.

I can go so I'll drive u to Tommy's at 6:30. He said to dress nice so send me a pic of your dress so I'll match my tie

Wait. What?

Did you read that right? You went back and reread Newt's reply.

Yep. Newt just agreed to fake date you.

Oh, shuck! You thought. Newt just agreed to fake date me!

Thx! IOU 1!! You keyed in, and shut your phone off. You sighed, thanking the gods under your breath. A goofy grin soon spread across your face, and you walked over to your closet to pick an outfit.

--

"How about this?" You asked, turning to face your friends for about the 50th time that night. The dress was elegant and red. The knee-length velvety hugged your skin warmly. You had black tights underneath, but no shoes picked out yet.

Brenda eyed you up and down like a judgemental mother would to her daughter. "Well..."

"YES!" Sonya screamed, leaping up from her seat. Teresa jumped, suddenly awake, causing you to giggle slightly.

"Oh my god, Newt will love it!" Sonya said, running over to admire the dress up close.

You smiled, "You really think so? It's not too much?"

"Too much? Are you kiddin' me!? He loves you no matter what you do!" She said, spinning you around in the dress.

You froze. What? Oh... You suddenly realized the deal with Min, and your muscles relaxed.

Sonya froze as well. With that, you heart rate quickened. It felt like it was going to burst. At least, until Sonya shouted "We need jewelry!" And dragged you towards your dresser.

She dug through the drawers like they were her own, and turned to you when she found nothing. "(Y/n)! Where's your jewelry?!"

You gave her an odd look. "Uh... I don't have any?"

"What!?" Brenda screeched from your bed. She loved jewelry; anything from toe rings to finger rings to nose rings. She ran over to you and your friend.

You sent her a sheepish smile. "Yeah--"

"I'll be back!" Brenda said, holding up her index finger to show a number one, like saying 'give me a sec' or something.

You met Sonya's eyes, and she laughed. You did too.

Sonya laughs like her brother. Cheerfully and free of cares of who could be watching. It was contagious.

Soon, you were laughing as well.

Until Teresa asked if you and Newt have kissed yet.

"Uh... no. Why?" You responded.

Teresa smirked at you. "No reason," she said in a sly voice. Like a snake.

Sonya sent her a glare, but it was interrupted when Brenda waltzed back into your room with a makeup bag.

Or... rather a jewelry box.

Brenda dug through her box, in search of the perfect accessories. Sonya was about to join her, when Brenda jumped up, startling Teresa.

Again.

"These!!" Brenda said, holding up a sparkling pair of dangly earrings.

You eyed them, "Okay...?" You said, and hesitated before taking them out of her hands.

While you put them on, Brenda began her search for rings, necklaces and/or bracelets. She finished by the time you did, but Sonya handed the silver bracelets to you.

When they were secured, you turned back to your friends. "Cute!" Sonya and Brenda squealed.

"Aw, my baby girl is all grown up!" Sonya said, even though you were older. Her hands were next to her cheek while she smiled at you, giving you the look you give your friend when they're about to get married.

"And she's dating your brother!" Brenda needlessly added. This caused you to blush.

"So cute!" They squealed once more. You looked to Teresa for help, but she just smiled and took a picture.

Sonya's phone rang in her pocket. She opened it, and looked to you apologetically. "I have to help Newt." She said, starting to leave.

"Byeeee!" Brenda and Teresa called after her.

"Bye!" Sonya returned.

"Thanks for making me not look stupid!" You called after her.

Sonya gave you a two fingered salute while she walked away. She turned around, "Don't mess that dress up, (Y/n). I'll bring heels before the party."

"Heels?" You groaned.

"Yes, heels." Brenda responded, bringing you to the mirror. She pushed your hair out of your face, and lead you over to your mirror. "Now we need to figure out makeup." She said.

--

You were exhausted, but you were finally party ready. You checked your reflection in the mirror, qquadruple-checking to make sure there wasn't any wrinkles you missed. Your makeup shimmered in the light of your room. It was natural, but fancy. Nothing too much.

The honk of a car horn interrupted your thoughts. You peered through your window to find Newt, gave him a quick wave, and grabbed your heels before walking out the door of your house.

Newt reached across the passenger seat, and opened the door for you.

"Thank you so much for agreeing to this." You said to Newt, shutting the car door behind you.

"No problem." He was dressed nicely, too. A black shirt tucked into black pants with a red tie that matched your dress.

You put your feet up on the dashboard and started to put your shoes on. Newt eyed you, then your shoes.

"Are those Sonya's?"

You sent him a sheepish smile, "Yeah."

He laughed, and returned his attention to the road infront of him.

"I don't wear heels!" You said defensively.

Newt just laughed more. "You seem to be now!"

You groaned in frustration, and brought your feet down. You slouched low into the chair in a pout.

"It was a joke, babe!"

Your heart stopped. Babe? "'Babe'?" You repeated your thoughts.

"Er... yeah. I, uh... since we're...."

You giggled, "Relax, shuck-face. It's fine."

"Babe." You added.

Newt pulled into Thomas's driveway, and gave you a funny look. You were about to get out when Newt stopped you.

"Let me get the door for you." He said, leaping out of his seat and limping over to your side.

He opened the door, and you gave him a grateful look. He shut the door while still watching you, but your stares were interrupted by a wolf whistle.

You and Newt turned, and found Minho in the front of Thomas's house.

He wore his usual stupid smirk.

That bastard. You grabbed Newt's hand and pushed past Minho. You smirked to yourself in triumph after.

"Ship it!" Minho yelled from behind you.

Newt gave you a confused glance, but you brushed it off with an apologetic smile.

Until you lost your balance. Stupid heels! You felt yourself falling to the ground until a pair of strong arms caught you.

You looked up and found your savior to be Newt. You smiled, and thanked him before walking into the kitchen.

It didn't take Minho long to find you after. You'd say it probably was around 7:10 when he walked up to you with his stupid smirk that never seemed to wipe off.

He said nothing, just grabbed your arm and pushed you towards the living room. You followed, watching the groups of semi-drunk teenagers smile and dance. Suddenly you felt a harsh push from behind you. You stumbled forward a bit, in attempt to stop yourself from bumping into the dude in front of you. But of course, you being you in heels, you tried to use the dude for support, but failed miserably.

"Woah!" He said, his familiar accent hitting your ears while he caught you.

Once again, you thanked Newt for saving your pride.

And your dress.

"A little klutzy today, huh?" He asked with a laugh.

You looked down and blushed, "Yeah, I just--"

"Everyone look!" You heard Minho's voice yell. "Mistletoe!"

Your eyes widened in horror, and you looked to Minho for help.

Stupid idea, really. He wouldn't help you to save his life. He had to win this.

You looked back to Newt, who studied your face.

Until someone shouted, "Get on with it!" Your guess was Brenda.

Newt watched you still, and you wondered about what he could possibly be thinking.

Was there something on your face? Would he back out if you tried to kiss him? Would he even kiss back? Was he suddenly regretting his decision? Did he want to leave for home?

Questions fueled from doubt and anxiety flooded through your mind while you awaited Newt's rejection.

It never came, though. Instead, a cold hand wrapped around your neck and pulled you closer, and warm lips soon met your own.

As cheeseballs as it seems, you melted into it. Your hands went to Newt's neck, and he seemed to pull you closer.

Of course, your moment had to be interrupted by Minho, who cleared his throat obnoxiously. "Okay," he said. "You can stop now. I get it." You and Newt pulled apart, suddenly realizing that almost everyone at the party was staring at the two of you.

Your blush turned from fair to hard core.

"You're so cute!" Sonya squealed, holding up her phone.

Shuck. You thought to yourself. She taped it.

Newt smiled, and pulled you closer to him. His hand rested on your waist while his blush died down.

Where is all this confidence coming from?

You decided to shrug it off, and wrap your arms around your 'boyfriend' tightly.

You never wanted the night to end. But unfortunately all good things must.

The jitters from Thomas's party never stopped. Even when Newt drove you home.

"We should do that more often, yeah?" Newt asked you, while Aerosmith's Fly Away From Here faded into KISS's Beth. You recognized the playlist playing. It was the one you made for him.

Actually, you made it for yourself, first. It was called 'Soft Retro', and by far one of your favorites. You originally made it for the many nights where you couldn't sleep. Apparently, Newt loved it, so you passed it down to him. Love songs made you sick, anyway.

Not Newt, though. He seemed to enjoy them more than life herself sometimes. You're surprised you haven't caught him trying to waltz with a mop yet.

"What do you mean?" You asked Newt, trying to play his question with a silly laugh. He looked at you for a second, but returned his eyes to the road ahead. He shrugged,

"Party?"

"Did you just answer a question with another question?" You asked with your eyebrows raised.

"You did it first." Newt shot back.

"Touché," You mumbled. It was quiet for a moment, before Newt spoke up again.

"Was he there?" He asked you.

You looked at him, "Who?"

"The stupid shank."

"Oh, yeah." You said, suddenly feeling your heart sink deep into your chest. "Thanks for that." Newt was silent, so you panicked and added: "Especially for kissing me."

Newt laughed, "It was really no problem, luv." He said. He looked like he wanted to say more, but decided to bite his tongue.

"I know, but..."

You suddenly felt bad. Bad for dragging Newt into this, bad for lying to him so you could prove a point to Min. Bad for the entire night, really. You sighed, filled with regret so suddenly that it caused you to panic a little.

A lot, actually. Your breaths quickened, becoming shallower while tears flooded your eyes. Your chest felt heavy, too.

Everything felt heavy.

Until Newt's voice cleared some clouds in your head. "Hey, hey, luv. What's wrong? Hey..." He cooed slightly. He looked behind him, and turned on his turn signal, pulling over.

"I just..." Your voice broke, and you cautiously took a shaking breath. "I'm so, so sorry."

"About what?" Newt asked innocently.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. Stop being such a shuck-face. You told yourself. You closed your eyes loosely, "Do you know the real reason I asked you to pretend date me?"

Newt slowly shook his head. Great.

You forced a smile, it wasn't his fault, and redirected your attention to your lap, where your hands lay. "I was talking to Min... and he brought you up. I--" You cut yourself off. No. You told yourself. It's too late to turn back now. "He was teasing me about how you'll be at the party, because he thinks I like you, and I got sick of it, so I just... lied. I didn't think anything of it, but then h-he believed me, and I-I had to do something because he always wins every argument, so I texted you but when you asked me why I knew I couldn't say it so I told you that there was some shank but now--" You cut yourself off again. This time, by crying.

Newt watched you break into tears, speechless, as you gather yourself with a breath. He listened as you continued.

"I understand if you don't want to see me anymore," You said in a low voice. "I... I'll just find a ride home." You said, reaching to open the car door. Newt locked it instead.

You turned to face him hesitantly. Your head hung low, like a guilty puppy.

"(Y/n)," He began, but you stopped him.

You couldn't take the rejection. Not yet.

"No, it's fine. I can get an Uber or something. I'll see you Monday--"

"(Y/n)." Newt said more urgently. "Do you know what song is playing?"

You looked to Newt. It was an easy question. Like, a suspiciously easy question.

"All The Way." You mumbled.

"M-hm. And did you know it's my favorite song?"

You internally rolled your eyes at his questions. What was this? National ask a stupid question day? "Yeah."

"Do you know why it's my favorite?"

You shook your head.

Newt reached over to you, never breaking eye contact as he took your hands in his own. "Because it reminds me of you. That kiss... I knew I'd take you all the way if you wanted me to." He licked his lips. "Because I love you...

"And I know you love me too."

You were shocked. Was this some kind of sick joke? Did he know you listened to All The Way whenever you missed him because it reminded you of him? Did Minho put him up to this?

Newt placed one of your hands on his cheek, but kept his on top. "Don't you?"

Too late now. You gave him a slight nod, and Newt broke into a boyish grin. He happily leaned over to where you sat in the passenger seat, and gave you a light peck on the lips.

"I knew it." He whispered under his breath. You smiled, and returned Newt's kiss, stopping him from saying more. He smiled, glancing down to your lips before leaning in slowly. Again.

You met him halfway, and the two of you shared one of the best kisses in history.

It was only a bonus to see Minho's surprised expression Monday morning.

[chemicallydamaged]

Recovery: The Stigma Of Struggle 2/2 (TW)

Please do not read further If you are easily disturbed or affected by mentions of self harm, weight gain, or suicidal behaviors. I wrote this to help someone feel less alone and share my experience- not to potentially trigger someone. Please be safe.

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I told my parents about my several-year long addiction to self harm, despite starting at the age of seven. I've never once been to a therapist, counselor, psychologist, or a psychiatrist. I mainly have scars on my thighs, but I also have them on my waist, face, feet, hands, hips, and so on. I have used needles, glass, push pins, scissors, exacto-blades, knives, razors, and whatever else I could get my hands on. It became an addiction before I even knew what and addiction was.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(This is an unprofessional, messy rough draft that I wanted to post so you know i'm not dead. I may edit this sometime in the future and delete this lil message thingy.)

Suddenly, you become a liar- that's how these things go on for so long, that's how this cycle eats you alive; “I hate getting wet”, “I just get cold easily”, “The cat scratched me”, and so on. You do anything to protect this secret, this horrible fucking brain eating, exhausting secret- while also hoping someone would ask how you are, maybe ask what's going on, and yet you still lie to them. Help doesn't feel for you- help doesn't always feel like an option. 

I always felt like everytime I cut, it was like shutting my thoughts up for a few seconds. I had so much swarming in my head, so many negative, screaming thoughts eating away at my brain, that I would do anything to relieve the tension. Everything irritated me. So when I got home, and all these memories of screaming parents and asshole students and shitty teachers screamed in my thoughts, I couldn't take it. For me, I convinced myself of two options; self harm, or ending my life.

June, maybe July of 2020. I haven't gone outside for a very long time, using covid fear as an excuse. I would be in such deep wallows of depression I could barely move; at that point I had gained so much weight I was scared of taking showers. I was scared of going outside. I was scared of eating. I used a group chat in one of my friend’s servers to get me through it, at least so I could socialize in one way or another. I wanted to get better, yet I was too exhausted to take the steps of recovery. I had tried to quit a few times at that point, only to fall back in. I would be taking a plane ride to see family (safely) and I was so fucking scared. It would be incredibly hot over there, I couldn't wear shorts, I was depressed, I had low-self esteem, and now I had to socialize with family I hadn't seen in several years. I was convinced they would be disappointed in me, I really didn't want them to be ashamed. 

When I finally got there, everything had changed. They looked so different- my little cousin, who I remembered as a toddler, was now a kid. My aunts were more stressed out than I had ever noticed before. Some pets had passed away, and the area of town had become pretty run-down. I had always wanted a little sister, and felt like I missed out on a lot of those years- so I tried to spend as much time with her as I could. She was so happy and so energetic, I was so surprised to see that she was excited to meet me. She didn't care about how I looked or how awkward I was, she just wanted to do art and make mudpies and jump on a trampoline, like a kid. I missed out on water balloons, refusing to wear shorts, which upset everyone because I wouldn't be able to play. I took that time to lock myself in a bedroom and cry. When I thought of her ever doing what I was doing to myself, I broke down completely. I would have been self harming for a year by her age. I missed out on so much. To think that she could ever go through that terrifies me and shakes me to my core. She is like a little sister i've never had. I thought of my brother and how he would be upset, so see his actual little sister go through this the whole time. This is still hard to think about. This was my first kick in the ass to recovery. I was going to commit.

I came home in a lot of pain. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I kept impulsively grabbing objects, picking at my skin, biting my nails, and going fucking crazy. I was so close, so many times. I can barely express the amount of stress I was in, not being able to use what I believed to be my only coping mechanism ever since I can remember, knowing for sure I absolutely could not and would not do it. I had to fight with my brain 24/7 just to stay afloat, to have self-control.

Fast forward 4-ish months and I was finally about to tell my mom, but at the wrong time. The closest self harming behavior I had was skin scratching, but that was better than cutting. We had gone to the store to pick out some clothes and I was really excited about it; however, the closer we go to the changing room the harder my heart throbbed out of my chest. If she went in with me, she would see all the scars. We had gotten to the changing room, and she went in with me. I froze up, in cold sweat, and couldn't do or say anything. Just as she said “Oh woops do you not want me in th-” I broke down. In a grocery store changing room. For everyone to hear. She sat me down and comforted me, like a cool mom. I was  surprised, I thought she would be embarrassed. I told her about everything. She supported me. I couldn't stop shaking, unsure of weather to be sad or happy. I finally said something. I was relieved. I finally did it.

My dad was less accepting after my mom told him first. Because he doesn't believe in “organized help” and instead believes you have to “get through anything on your own, because that's what I DO” It was probably a bit of a struggle for my mom to talk to him. He avoided me for a few days, until he was ready. When I had finally told him, it turned out to be ok. He wasn't happy with me but he wasn't pissed either so that's a positive. My brother had a similar reaction. A lot of friends didn't care. But some still did, and I'd rather have a few real friends than a lot of fake ones. Sounds like a bunch of hippie dippie Karen bullshit but I genuinely feel way more positive about this then when I first told my parents. I hope to get mental health help soon, although there are so many people trying to get it that its difficult to find a good therapist thats available (Thx c0v1d, u sur3 r g8 0n m3ntal h3alth <3). For now, i'm just doing the best I can- im still going to struggle, but that's part of life. Im happy with that. 

This is only my side of the story.

Yours doesn't always have to be the recovery, but it can be the ask for help.

(2/2) 

Hope your doing well, wherever you are.

[rsbry-beret]

More Than Words

Insouciant

Tobin’s eyes hurt. He’d been staring at the code flying by on his screen for hours now, eyes flicking away to look at the clock every few minutes despite himself. He fiddled with the cuff of his jacket again, scratching at the hole hidden in the lining fabric, before reaching for his water bottle, bringing it to his mouth before remembering it had been empty for coming up two hours. He sighed, typed a line of code before deleting it again.

“Hey, man.” Leif leaned over Tobin’s shoulder, resting his elbows on his shoulders. “How you feeling?”

“Insouciant.” He glanced out at his coworkers, mostly busy with whatever they were working on, but Zoey glanced up at the sound. “I-N-S-O-U-C-I-A-N-T. That means indifferent, for all you boneheads.” He tilted his head back to grin at Leif, before realizing their faces were way too close together.

“Tobes, dude, have you eaten anything today?” Leifs eyebrows furrowed. Tobin was struck with the sudden desire to poke the lines that showed up in the corners of his eyes until he smiled again, which he promptly ignored. He was probably just dehydrated or something, which reminded him.

“I had breakfast. Passed on lunch though- had to catch this bug, you know. Then I guess I just forgot. It’s whatever.” He smiled, trying not to look as awkward as he suddenly felt. “Have to keep this hot bod looking tight anyway, am I right?”

Tobin kept frowning. “Dude, it’s 4:00. Have you at least had water?”

“I ran out.”

“Dude. Seriously, give me your water bottle, I’ll refill it.”

Tobin smiled at his monitor, happy knowing that Leif wouldn’t be able to see him do it. He grabbed his water bottle and passed it up, felt Leif pull away and ruffle Tobin’s hair as he went. “Thanks, bro,” he called out as he heard Leif’s footsteps walk away.

Soubrette

“Dude, it’s your birthday! We have to do something fun. Go to a strip club, meet some soubrettes, drink until we black out, whatever! We’re only young once, bro.”

Max glanced shrewdly at Tobin. “Okay, ignoring the fact that you just quoted Bunny Paul, what on earth is a soup bet?”

Tobin smirked. “A very flirtatious woman. But I guess you aren’t really familiar with that, are you, Max?”

Leif sighed once, then again, louder, as though he was worried he hadn’t gotten his point across. “A woman pretending to be flirtatious, actually. And we’re not going to a strip club for my birthday.”

“Dude. Literally why not?” Tobin stuck his bottom lip out, fluttered his eyelashes dramatically. Leif stared at his mouth for a long second before looking away suddenly.

“Because it’s my birthday, so I get to choose what we’re doing. And we’re having pizza at our place while we watch movies.”

Zoey laughed while Max glared at Leif. “By ‘movies’ you mean ‘pretentious French art house films that are in black and white even though they were filmed last year’, right?”

“Shut up, Max, Leif can do what he wants. It’s his birthday,” Tobin said.

Zoey squinted at him from across the room. “Okay, what?”

Syllepsis

“Man, my date last night was awesome.” Tobin grinned, smug and too big to fit on his face.

“Man, I didn't ask,” Max replies from his desk, not even bothering to look up. Max was a loser. Tobin ignored him.

“She blew my mind and then she blew something else, if you catch my drift.” He waggled his eyebrows, just in case he hadn’t.

Max pinched the bridge of his nose for a few seconds.

“Yeah?” Tobin kept grinning. “A little syllepsis there. That means a word that has two meanings in one sentence.” He sat heavily at his desk, booted up his computer. “Wow, it’s exhausting to have to dumb myself down for you guys.”

Max lay his head down on his desk.

“Not the only reason I’m exhausted, though.”

Tobin heard a tortured groan from

Max’s direction. He didn’t bother making the joke- might as well give the poor guy a break.

Man, he was such a good guy.

Deification

Tobin stirred his fruit loops around and around his bowl, watching the milk slowly turn blue-gray. He was hungry, and the cereal was definitly going to get soggy soon, but if he finished before Leif made his stupid avocado toast then he’d have no reason to eat breakfast with him.

“Okay, but real talk, Fusajiro Yamauchi is a God,” he finally said, breaking the peaceful silence.

Leif stared at Tobin for a few long seconds before nodding slowly. “You’re definitely not wrong, but why are we talking about this now?”

Tobin shrugged and tried not to stare at Leif’s shoulders. “I just thought it should be said. The man founded Nintendo. Everyone should be talking about him all the time.” God, Leif’s eyes were so blue. “And it’s not deification if the man is actually a God.”

“Deification,” Leif repeated, smiling in that half-smile sort of way he had.

“Treating someone like a God. You have really white teeth, bro.” Did he say that out loud? God, he said that out loud, didn’t he?

Leif quirked his head to the left, raising an eyebrow. “Thanks?”

Tobin quickly turned around before Leif could see his blush. “Yeah, bro. Man. Buddy.” Jesus Christ.

Pulchritudinous

It was raining on the way to work, and Tobin had never been happier about it. He always took the bus from his and Leif’s apartment, but Leif insisted on riding his bicycle, something about cardio-based workouts and don’t you want to have a long and healthy life, and honestly Tobin had stopped listening about six seconds in because the way Leif’s hair flopped over his eyes was unfairly distracting.

But it was raining this morning, and Leif had still rode his bike to work, so now he was soaking wet, standing at his desk in his probably ruined cardigan and looking for all the world like an angry chihuahua.

Tobin didn’t think he’d ever loved him more.

“Pulchritudinous,” he said, in what he thought was a whisper, but then Leif turned around, confused.

“Okay, man, you’ve got me stumped. What’s that one mean?”

Beautiful, Tobin thought, and then he panicked. “Messy.”

Leif looked at him for a moment longer, then smiled at him, awkward and sweet and just for Tobin, no one else. “Cool.”

Then he turned back to his desk, clacking away at his keyboard like he was trying to do something fast before he forgot, and Tobin turned back to his computer, trying to catch his breath.

(Eudaemonic)

It was after work, and the rain had just cleared up, leaving the sky full but bright and the wind sharp but refreshing after a long day of filtered air. Tobin took a deep breath in, and then another. He felt a hand fall on his shoulder and turned around.

“Hey,” Leif said, shuffling his feet a little, looking a little nervous. “Hey, can we talk before we head home?”

Tobin smiled and nodded, letting Leif guide him by his shoulder. Home. Before we go home. Suddenly Tobin felt very fragile, like if Leif clutched his hand a little tighter he might fall apart, starting at his shoulder and stretching all the way through to his heart, his wobbly knees, his toes. It wasn’t an awful feeling, actually.

“So…” Tobin finally started, after a long time of walking in silence, Leif’s hand still touching him, warm and present.

“So,” Leif started, then cleared his throat, stopping on the sidewalk in front of yet another random Starbucks. He pulled his hand away and Tobin wanted to grab it back immediately. He stuffed his fists in his jacket to stop himself.

“So,” Leif began again, turning to face Tobin, “I think you’re...eudaemonic.”

Tobin looked at Leif and Leif looked right back, like this was an important moment, like there was something invisible and heavy passing between them.

“I… don’t know what that means,” Tobin finally admitted, still not looking away. Honestly, he didn’t think he could if he wanted to. His eyes felt stuck. He didn’t want to anyway, though.

Leif didn’t blink, just lifted his hand back up again, slow and purposeful. He set it down on Tobin’s shoulder, then slid it back, touching his neck, then cupping his jaw. Tobin felt like he couldn’t breath. Tobin felt like he was breathing for the first time. Tobin didn’t know what he felt, just that it was good.

“It means that you make me happy,” Leif said carefully, quietly.

Tobin kissed him.

It was a very good kiss. So good that Tobin didn’t think he really wanted to do anything else, ever. Awkward in that way that all first kisses were, because first Leif was just touching him by his jaw, and Tobin’s hands were still in his pockets, but then something changed and they were clutching at each other. No, not clutching. They were holding each other.

Eventually Tobin pulled back for air.

“I googled your word,” Leif admitted immediately, before he could even say anything. Leif brushed Tobin’s hair from his eyes, and Tobin just laughed, quiet and happy.

“Then I guess you know I think you’re perfect?”

“I’m not,” Leif said, suddenly serious. He started to pull his hands back, and Tobin caught them, held them in his own. “I’m not perfect. I’m actually really messed up, man.”

Tobin just smiled, smiled. It felt like he couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to stop. “I love you.”

Leif froze. “Oh,” he breathed.

“Yeah.” Tobin kept smiling. “Oh.”

Leif smiled too, cartoonishly huge on his face, like he hadn’t ever smiled that big before and was still learning how. Then he let out a noise, almost like he was going to cry, and Tobin was scared for a second before he realized that Leif was giggling.

Tobin started giggling too. Sue him, it was infectious, and Leif was cute, and they had kissed, and he said he made him happy.

Leif rushed forward suddenly, yanking his hands from Tobin’s grip to wrap around his waist, pulling Tobin in for a hug.

And they stayed like that, intertwined on the sidewalk, giggling and smiling and happy, for a very long time.

And then they both went home.

Title is a song by The Extremes :) this is my first time writing for a fandom so go easy on me lol and thx to @opheli-bob ob for introducing me to ZEP