#can i choose neither

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

thinking about “i may not see you again” “it’s okay as long as I know you’re happy” as a perfect ending to c!tommy's character not just in the fact we may never see him again but it’s okay if we know he’s happy (bc like, tommyinnit spontaneously starts RPing as him sometimes, he’s an OC Haver who constantly brings up his blorbo to the point I’ve noticed and I literally don’t watch the guy, i highly doubt he'll stop all of a sudden he’s been doing it for years) but also in the sense that like. all of c!tommy's trauma was caused by adults who Did genuinely love and care for him in some fucked up way (be it as a brother, comrade, or protege-in-training) but used that love to control and hurt him and treat him like a shiny possession. c!jack affirming he is still loved and cared for but not pushing those boundaries and trying to Enforce their idea of what’s Best for him onto him is such a beautiful end to that pattern. c!tommy can be loved without being caged. sometimes loving someone is accepting you’ll never see them again and maybe that’s best. sometimes it’s letting them choose on their own terms. c!tommy was allowed such little autonomy bc he was seen as unable to know what would be best for Him. being able to be happy on his own terms is something he’s never really been allowed before. like hell even with clingyduo they’re great but they’re also, y’know, clingy, and that is an unhealthy trauma response. they’re not bad people for having it and they’re clearly doing a lot better by the epilogue, but even c!tommy's most positive relationships have had Issues with independence. the fact the last thing we see of c!tommy is him mentioning that he might not ever see someone again and them accepting it as long as it’s his choice while reaffirming that despite everything they love and care for him and want him to be happy is so cathartic and honestly such a sweet ending for him it makes me tear up to think about. the eternal cycle of toxic friendship he was stuck in for years is finally breaking, and he's able to be an autonomous human being even if it’s not what his friends selfishly think is Best For Him.

[moonlit-dreamers]

honestly im really enjoying the plot in mgafs but especially bc of eclipse and how he is as a character

hes become something more neutral. he isnt a villain nor a "good guy". hes just. a guy. he doesnt even want to be here but he doesnt have much of a choice. he tolerates ppls existence as much as he can without exploding. he does care about ppl but he hides it under a guise of "im doing this for myself and anyone who benefits from this is just a side effect" and honestly i love that so fucking much. like. he very much gives a shit about earth and at one point emphasized that she would not get hurt. tho when questioned about it he dodges the question. in fact, every time someone brings up earth and how defensive he is he avoids it. i feel like not even he himself wants to confront how he feels

then theres also puppet. their relationship is like the extrovert adopting the introvert type thing (its also like that with earth but puppet is more forceful and the more "ur never getting rid of me" type). he, again, doesnt admit that he cares. and honestly he probably didnt give a flying fuck about her in the beginning. the main reason he even went on the whole quest to help with the other puppet was bc he would also be effected, even if he was in another dimension (also bc he didnt want it to hurt earth but shhhh). but now he does seem to show some form of concern towards puppet at certain times. its also incredibly entertaining to watch puppet keep pushing at his limits. makes me think of that one video where a crow kept fucking with an eagle. just kept nipping and getting in its face then running away. thats what it feels like lmao

also like. almost every time he defended someone theres always been some kinda excuse he could make that gives him an out with saying that it was also for his benefit. probably the only time he defended someone and wouldnt get personal benefit out of it was when he confronted ruin and told him to keep earth out of it. tho, luckily for him, nobody was there to witness it and question it (unless moon was there bc i dont remember it exactly >.>).

which, yes, probably a lot of things that he does is for his own benefit. but he'd be completely fine with abandoning the ppl he was helping. in multiple situations he didnt have to help them. he wouldve been just fine and able to get out of the situation without them making out with him. and yet he did. and yet he purposely made room for them to follow.

idk man. just watching him develop as a character and going from someone who didnt give a flying fuck about anybody into actually giving a bit of a shit is fascinating. also even more entertaining to see just how desperately he tries to hide it

[howly]

'how can you defend edward when he did X in breaking dawn' bold of you to assume i acknowledge breaking dawn

[kittykatninja321]

controversially I do think that the under the red hood comic ending is a solid answer to “how do you get Batman to kill someone without breaking him as a character”

[enasleepy]

☆MAGICAL GIRL SIRIN☆ (wips)

[mushed-kid]

idk if i should watch an episode of voltron or if i should try drawing

[winepresswrath]

the thing about revisit of the fight in 1x5 is that Louis started it and Louis kept it going and Louis threatened to kill Lestat but it's kicked off because Lestat put his hands on Claudia. that's what tips Louis over the edge into physical violence.

and the other thing about that fight is that Louis was not going to leave Lestat. He's not focused on trying to get away or comfort Claudia, though he is enraged on her behalf. He is trying to hurt Lestat. He can't really hurt him but he doesn't know that yet. He wants to punish him for both what he did to Claudia and for Claudia leaving in the first place. honestly knowing Louis probably for some other stuff while he's at it. he's been punishing him for seven years. But I really don't think he was going to actually try and leave him. that's so fucked up. they're so fucked up.

[oncamelliastreet]

i just long to have a jess mariano in my life and every day that i don’t have a jess mariano in my life is a sad day because what’s even the point if i don’t have an angsty teenage boy with abandonment issues and extreme difficulties expressing his emotions in a healthy manner and an addiction to reading books and is extremely sarcastic and has a tough exterior but is actually just a fucking nerd in my life?!

[crowned-clown-rising]

A little bit of me over-analyzing Nevra :) again

Something I've noticed about Nev in New era is that almost every time he is giving orders, he uses expressions like "I suggest…" "If everyone agrees…" "If it's okay with you…" and is open to new ideas and suggestions, which… I love of him.

I wasn't sure whether he did it just to give the people he's commanding a false sense of control and keep them appeased or bc he genuinely is being considerate, but now I'm inclined to say it's genuine. Because!! hear me out!! the moments when there is really no other choice he never asks for anyone's permission. He can be quite assertive like that. (Like when Erika complained he hadn't asked her opinion on flying on dragon back and he goes something like "Because I didn't ask lol. You just have to.")

[theetwinkleboy]

izuku: ok so you know how I flung all my quirks at you at mach speed

tomura: kind of hard to forget

izuku: and you know how one for all merges with the quirks of its current user and made those quirks transferable too

izuku: but throwing the quirk at you destroyed the attached vestige on impact

tomura:

izuku:

izuku: hit me with all for one

izuku: and toss over some super regeneration while you’re at it

[ispyspookymansion]

tumblr no nuance site as always is finding itself with a fascinating new position here. “no opinion you hold or thought you have tells us anything about your morality” im not so sure thats true “many thoughts are unwanted or are uncomfortable but realistically harmless so stop equating complete mental purity with being Good” this we cannot possible refute but its not the one thats being said lately

[majorasnightmare]

thinking about isobel and ketheric, and my durge and ketheric, and isobel and my durge

like ketheric whos entire personality is centered around being a failed father, dirge who lives solely and exclusively for a father who does not love him, isobel being horribly violated for the sake of fatherly love in the name of a person shell never be again like excuse me this trio of people makes me go insane

ketheric and dirge like!! zealot recognizes zealot, ketheric knows what its like to be devoted wholeheartedly to a god who will discard you and thats explicitly why he has a businesslike relationship with myrkul, who KNOWSSS ketherics heart isnt in it but doesnt care, ketheric who never fully believed in the absolute plan but carried it out nonetheless, ketheric who nonsensically traded the death of the world for his daughters life, who in reality most likely traded his afterlife for isobels life, knowingly condemning himself to never see melodia again, to an eternity of torture at myrkuls hands, just so isobel can breathe again. dirge knowing with perfect clarity his own father would never do that for him. ketheric knowing that kind of hopeless devotion and willful blind ignorance leads to a kind of iron will that makes dirge genuinely dangerous but pitying the poor fool nonetheless because despite dirges clear intelligence and skill, despite his overwhelmingly obvious power, hes shackled to a self destructive idiot whod bite off his own arm just to spite the world who couldnt give a single fuck about dirges mental state or how that affects achieving bhaals OWN goals and fulfilling his OWN desires, because ketheric understands perfectly well a god will be stupid and selfish first and reasonable and measured second. dirge hating ketheric not just for being a wishywashy traitor who cant settle on something to be devoted to, but because ketheric has the shit figured out. its a zero sum game. theres no winning, only different types of losers, and embracing that truth means acknowledging his entire life has been a pointless self destructive waste that will never give him the satisfaction and actualization dirge craves, so its easier and more stable to just interpret ketheric as a coward. except hes going to kill himself for isobel. going to go through hell for her. theres a level of devotion and love and care there that dirge has only experienced once in his life and the memory of it is enough to drive him to madness, but despite it all ketheric IS competent. is level and measured and powerful and capable of looking past his own self interest to the far horizon of victory, is tactical and clever and willing to wade into the fray. so dirge hates, and admires, and envies, and pities, and reflexively seeks out and avoids ketheric in equal measure. wants to carve him up until he finally breaks, screaming for a god that wont hear him as just rewards for his insolence (because dirges loyalty will SURELY be rewarded, loyalty to his god and to his father, certainly), cant stand the idea of working alongside anyone else, hates being around him but hates doing things without him, falling into old habits of depravity just to get away from the cacophany of emotion and the introspection it tries to trigger.

and then ketheric is doing all of this for someone who doesnt really exist. the isobel he wants to revive isnt real. its a version of her thats stripped hollow of the things that make her, HER. he wants an isobel that doesnt love aylin, he wants an isobel that is content to remain in place and be protected by him, where he was the center of her world. he wants an isobel that hasnt existed for over a century. he wants an isobel like he remembers thinking of the days before melodia died. its why despite everything he gives up for her, if ketheric gets his hands on isobel he tadpoles her. the tadpoles are just a convenient tool for cutting away the unnecessary parts of a person, things they dont need and wont want afterwards. isobel mourns the father she had after her mother died, but ketheric wants the isobel she used to be when melodia was still present in their lives. the isobel after melodia died eventually left him for aylin. grew up and became a person outside of their small family and community. had interests and desires and goals that took her away from him. she doesnt need aylin, doesnt need anything besides family. thats whats important, thats whats worth ruining lives over. everything after isobel was just a failed copy, not even worth reminiscing over. everyone beyond isobel doesnt matter. desecrate the family tomb, abuse your son, drag your aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters out from the grave just to see if it works, if it sticks, because the whole world revolves around a little girl who stopped existing long before she died, because she became someone else someone new and left you floundering alone. youll get them back even if it means you burn in hell forever, those few precious moments are worth it, itll all be worth it, its already worth it. kill yourself kill the world because the only god worth dying for is the one found in between poorly scratched letters on a paper rotting from age that say "love you papa, -I T". live every day with the smoke and the rot knowing that your father loved you so much he cant even look at who you are now. live every day knowing its a gift you cant return to a man who doesnt see you, knowing that all youll ever have are ghosts that seek to hollow you out and play pretend with the shell. hes awful. hes horrible. hes a monster. hes your dad and he loves you so much its killing you. will kill you. has killed you. has killed everything you could ever want in your life. hes your dad. he read you stories when you were small. kept you from falling apart when your mother died. your rock in stormy seas. he wants to read you another story. its dark outside. its scary. this story has a happy ending. its just for you. the girl in the picture book has your name but doesnt look like you at all. its written in silver blood. theres an ache that wont leave, a rot that refuses to mend, a scar that wont close, and its all for love

thinking about dirge being the one to drag isobel from her coffin, to bring her back for the sake of sealing a pact that will end the world, going against his entire religion the whole reason for his existence just for the sake of fulfilling his own fathers dreams. children living at the behest of their parents, denied death for their fathers selfish whims. isobel autopsied and opened, layers peeled back. gortash and ketheric never exhumed a body, never prepared it for the grave, never made such an intimate study of death. gortash unwilling to bloody himself unnecessarily, ketheric unwilling to look past the deathmask to see isobels interior, so its dirge, it has to be him, the only one willing to bite down his own desires for the greater good. an unforgivable violation of autonomy, but the only one who thinks of it as such is the scion of the murder god. she cant consent. she cant choose to be apart of this, to sacrifice herself for a cause greater than herself. he has to inflict this upon her. life is suffering and madness and delusion. death is peace, and he is the holy vessel of transition from one state to the other. this? this is blasphemy. she has already fled this horrid blighted world for a better one, and here he is participating in blasphemous ritual. its for the sake of their plan, its for the sake of enacting his fathers dreams (as all children know, you are naught but a vessel to achieve the goals they could not in their time), but she cannot even take glory in the knowledge of her sacrifice, cannot even know she is a sacrifice until its too late to go back. carves open and peels back the picturesque skin, preserved by gloom and arid darkness and sealed stone to keep away the rot. peeling away the mask of Isobel Thorm to see the visceral rotting insides of a person ketheric cant stand to see.

clearing away the ruin and decay so something new can take its place. corpses are objects fled of souls, no longer a person, no longer anything and thus free to toy and play with as boredom and curiosity desires, but this is not a thing. this will again be a person, a vessel to trap someone inside of, to force them to suffer and persist and delude and live and he cant even ask if shell do it. do it to help him break the world and put an end to this madness forever. cant convince her of the rightousness of it, the necessity of it, cant help but use her for it. to gortash she is a token exchanged for power, to ketheric she is a snapshot of a better world he wants to go back to, but only here on this dirty bloodstained table with a bhaalspawn elbow deep in her organs is she a person, whos autonomy and personhood is being irrevocably violated. his nature is to free them of these shackles, to snip the cords and revel in the ensuing destruction, and here he is binding her again. the humiliation, the horror, of being set loose from this hellscape only to be brought back. to be dragged, kicking and screaming, back into living. to be subject to such awful blasphemy. here in the dark and the quiet where there is no voice to speak back to him, when there is no rushing blood or beating hearts to call forth his purpose, there and then does armageddons prophet desire forgiveness, only in this shadowed purgatory can someone truly see. when all the world lies dead at my feet, i will beg forgiveness from no one but you. lamb on the altar, holy blood, if such desecration was not necessary for the cleansing of suffering, i would never deign to subject you to it. to you alone do i tender my apologies, my blessed father may forgive this sin in light of the retribution it will call forth, but cruel fate has chosen you without your knowledge to bear this disgusting violation, and the only salve i can offer is that, gods willing, you will not suffer long. to live in a world that could give rise to something like me is a torture i would not wish upon anyone, and for the sake of my father i inflict it upon you nonetheless. when you rise, my only thoughts will be of murder, holy and pure. but here in the dark, when you are at peace and i am not, i think of you, and what youd want, and how no one would ever, COULD ever, ask for what i do to you here. here in the quiet i breathlessly whisper a prayer meant only for your ears, a second sin i cannot stop myself from committing, here where you cannot hear me but God surely can, a wish that i will surely pay for dearly, a punishment i endure willingly and without complaint, a smallest fraction of the torment i knowingly inflict upon you. i live, and soon so shall you, and for that, i will never know peace.

im so sorry. i did it for love

[yuridovewing]

as neat as i think froststar would be, i fear that nothing in canon will ever top "the unknown leader" fancomic in answering the question "what if an abused apprentice suddenly became responsible for an entire clan without processing that trauma and what would the realistic repercussions of that look like

[memeticsdivision]

a while back, i did the oc duo ask game in my friend discord server, so i thought i’d post them here since the answers are interesting and gives a better look into the moratorium crews dynamics and characterization . enjoy

CERNUNNOS ABOUT FENRIS

What's their best trait?

"HIS ABILITY TO DIE."

What's their worst trait?

“DO YOU WANT ME TO BE HERE FOR HOURS? BECAUSE I'D LOVE TO GO DOWN THE LIST, BUT I HAVE THINGS TO DO. SO LETS JUST KEEP IT AT THIS; HIS INABILITY TO DIE."

Are they a good person?

"HA. HAHA. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU'RE ASKING ME THAT? LOOK IN THE MIRROR ONCE AND A WHILE, IF THE PERSON LOOKING BACK AT YOU IS ME, THEN CHANCES ARE YOU'RE THE REAL MONSTER."

Do you really know them?

"BETTER THAN HE KNOWS HIMSELF, I'LL TELL YOU THAT."

What are they to you?

"A REMINDER OF MY PERSISTENT TORMENT." (translation: “Possibly the only person who could ever understand me, but he created me out of loathing of the idea of me, wanting me dead but forcing me to live anyway. That first part is therefore muddled by bitterness and I refuse to ever admit it.”

What are you to them?

"BY DEFINITION? A SHADOW. IN REALITY? HIS WORST NIGHTMARE."

What animal do they most remind you of?

"A SHITTY LITTLE COCKROACH WHO GOT RUN OVER AND IS DRAGGING ITS GUTS ALONG THE ROAD TOO STUBBORN TO LAY DOWN AND ROT."

Are they your type?

"OH, YOU THINK YOU’RE FUNNY, DON’T YOU."

What's their greatest fear?

"ISN'T IT OBVIOUS? LOOK AROUND; LOOK AT ME! THE FEAR IS THE LIE. THE FEAR IS THE TRUTH OF EXISTING IN A WORLD SURROUNDED BY SHIT HE NEEDS TO DO. HIS LAZY ASS WOULD RATHER RUIN LIVES THAN FACE THE FACT HIS LIFE IS SAD AND PATHETIC AND THAT HE MADE IT THAT WAY."

What's your best memory with them? Worst?

"MY BEST MEMORY WAS GUTTING HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME. MY WORST IS EVERYTHING ELSE."

How long have you known each other?

"A LONG, LONG TIME. LONGER THAN I'VE EVEN BEEN A PERSON. I'VE EXISTED IN THAT MORONS BRAIN SINCE THE FIRST MOMENT HE EVER HATED HIMSELF, SINCE HIS FIRST BAD MEMORY. I WAS JUST THE FIRST TO REALIZE IT."

How has your relationship changed recently?

"CHANGED? NOTHING'S CHANGED. I'M SURE ANY MINUTE NOW HE'LL FIRE THAT LAST SHOT INTO HIS THICK SKULL, AND IF NOT I'LL DO IT MYSELF. AFTER I'VE HAD SOME FUN."

Are they a good leader?

"OH SURE. IF YOU NEED A GUIDE ON HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE AS A SAD AND PATHETIC LITTLE EXISTENCE, OR NOT LIVE A LIFE AT ALL. HE WOULD BE A GREAT TEACHER IF YOU WANT AN EXAMPLE OF HOW TO BE A TERRIBLE PERSON."

——————

FENRIS ABOUT CERNUNNOS

What's their best trait?

"Do I have to answer that?"

What's their worst trait?

"I don't like anything of what I see in them." (translation: "I don't like that they remind me of myself.")

Are they a good person?

"No—I mean, I don't know? No. No they aren't." (translation: “I cannot answer this question truthfully because I doubt if I’m a good person, and if they are me and are bad, then I don’t know what that says about me. Maybe they are better than I am, because they chose a way to live. I didn’t.”)

Do you really know them?

"...No, but they get very predictable at some point."

What are they to you?

"An accident." (translation: “An ugly reminder of parts of myself I hate, that I try to pretend doesn’t exist, but Cernunnos’ existence is a rather direct reminder of it. To cope with that I assign cernunnos the role of the monster, despite what that says about me in return, one who’s existence is a mistake, because if they are a mistake and accident then they could not possibly reflect on me, and I have to kill them.” …which is exactly why he can’t.)

What are you to them?

"An easy scapegoat for all of their problems, I guess."

What animal do they most remind you of?

"To me, they are an animal."

Are they your type?

"I... what?”

What's their greatest fear?

"I guess... living? But they're based on me, so... we'd probably fear the same things."

What's your best memory with them? Worst?

"...I don't think I have any good memories with them. When we met was probably the worst. When they killed me is the second option.”

How long have you known each other?

"I couldn't tell you." (translation: “Cernunnos told me they existed long before they had a body, and they were only made real because of my self hatred that has existed my whole life. I don’t know if we have known each other forever, or from the moment they first showed up in my dreams.”)

How has your relationship changed recently?

"I'm not as scared of them as I used to be. The tricks got old the second I stopped caring."

Are they a good leader?

"...No. I think they’d try, to prove a point, but fail.”

——————

MOR ABOUT FENRIS

What's their best trait?

"Oh, what isn’t? He’s wonderful, really. I’m so proud that he exists at all.”

What's their worst trait?

"Hmm. I do wish he wouldn’t push me away. He needs me, after all, he just doesn’t like to admit it sometimes.”

Are they a good person?

“Hmph. The need to push moral definitions onto people is such a tediously useless endeavor. He’s doing his best, he just doesn’t know what that really means, and so he makes countless mistakes that really, get him nowhere. Thankfully, I know whats best. For him and us.”

Do you really know them?

"Very much so! I’m his mother, I made and raised him, nobody knows him better than me, which is why I know what is best for him, because he doesn’t."

What are they to you?

"Fenris is my son, my greatest joy and achievement. I love him very, very much.”

What are you to them?

"I’m his mother, can’t you tell? I’m someone he can always rely on for love and support. I wasn’t then, but I certainly am now. I’ve worked hard to be that, and I need to keep things that way.”

What animal do they most remind you of?

"Whatever animal he would want to be compared to!"

Are they your type?

"That is my child."

What's their greatest fear?

"Being alone, being the monster Cernunnos claims he is, being abandoned. He fears many things, the poor boy. He fears the way reality is constantly all around him, and how at any moment, he might change something and do something bad. He doesn’t want to be hurt, and he doesn’t want to be responsible for hurting someone again. But most of all, he’s afraid that it’ll be confirmed that he doesn’t deserve to exist, that the world would be better off without him, and that he’s been wasting his time trying to live in it. Sad, but sometimes, our greatest fears are of the truth.”

What's your best memory with them? Worst?

"Oh, all of them are dear to me. But the moment he was born is especially close to me. It was the first moment I loved him, and the moment I was so happy to be his mother. But… I do regret the night I died. Very much so. I said so many awful things to him, and they were the last things he ever heard from me. I hurt him so deeply that night, and it was the culmination of all of the terrible things I’d done to him over the years. Sometimes, that guilt overwhelms me. But I’ll be better this time.”

How long have you known each other?

"His whole life, of course! I’m his mother after all. I wish I didn’t have to be separated from him for five years, but we’re together again now. And I won’t let anything take him away from me.”

How has your relationship changed recently?

"It’s certainly more positive than my previous incarnation. He’s more willing to open up to me, and comes to me more often for safety. I’m relieved my efforts have paid off.”

Are they a good leader?

"I would say yes, but I don’t think he’d be comfortable, and he shouldn’t have to do things he wouldn’t be comfortable doing. Besides, I don’t trust anyone not to just be using him."

[gorillaxyz]

there are... well. there are a lot of things i want to say. but i cant. not here. but i will say this: WHY DOES LARRY HAVE LEG HAIR AND NOT HIM.