#can i burn my house and all its memories pls

[blackmagi]

He should have expected an attack, a slash or stab from her blade. But he hadn't noticed her unsheath, clearly the king of knights would be someone who wouldn't raise her sword unless decided to fight. A weird form of 'honor' Judar would never understand.

Instead, he received words that annoyed him more than any attack. At least, fighting this knight would have been sorta fun! The scowl was evident now, the brightless red eyes turned to her as he forced a smile, there was no happiness in it.

'your shelter', 'where would you go?' Why couldn't she just shut up! Now he saw it, how she held her blade pointed at him. Good! They could fight so he could forget why he was here in the first place.

"Hmph," he scoffed, his attention now fully on her. "You see, king of martyrs. This place was my home, everyone's gone now. Why should I leave it here to remind me there's nothin' left in it? C'mmon Saber!" hands spread to the sides of his body, his own anger and loneliness fueling the dark rukh around them. He was seething. Hating, hurt, alone. And Saber had just happened to cross his path.

The wind rose, whipping his braid "Let's burn this place to ash!"

The building were in disrepair, that much could not be denied. However, to be 'his', and meant for destruction, she found to be a suspicious tale. Compared to the expectations one might have of a caster seeking to spread chaos and uproot the system, it was a humble abode — which cast doubt on his claims. But if it were to be the case, the lord... perhaps they'd long departed the land, and its remains preserved as result of his tenancy.

Emerald remained sharply aimed at the back of his head, maintaining watch for any sudden movement to instigate an attack. The miasma around him, murky like poison, threatened to swallow his image like smog obscuring any within its field. Suffocating more than the unnatural mists which spilled from this very territory once.

"And then what?" she questioned, tone laced with distrust. "Should this place be your shelter, where would you go?" He was too dangerous to simply permit roaming free — even if not completely unshackled, his power grew far beyond the measure of most here. That which he had already demonstrated were a threat once he acted. If it were the lord here had held him back like a chain, then their absence signalled the end of peace balance on a knife-edge.

An arm raised, Excalibur brandished with a defensive slant so that her gesture not involuntarily invite him to attack. "You would have any believe you would simply relocate and make no further action? your allegiance with NULL made clear your intent to rebel at first chance. Why the Stars have not dealt with you is anyone's guess, but you will not be free to commit any atrocity you may have in mind".

[vivi-snow]

He is the best thing that's ever been mine

Pairings: Gojo x F!Reader

Tags: childhood friends to lovers (attempt), fake marriage (attempt), fake family (attempt), slow burn (attempt)

Summary: as the years have passed and your friendship is in a blur, an opportunity represents itself in the form of a rekindled closure painted as a family. However, the longer the performance, the more you feel affectionate towards him. Is there a possibility that the two of you could be tied together?

author's note: hey guys! It's been a while since i last wrote (i got lazy), and i decided to attempt a multi chapter fic. Idk if this is a good one, but in my head i kinda like the idea of it. Pls note that this is an attempt, so it may not be the best work. Also this isn't proofread (i need someone to do it), so expect mistakes.

Chapter 1: Everything has Changed

There wasn't a time when your childhood wasn't filled with Satoru. As far as you could remember, in your early days, you moved into a distant countryside right across what you later realized was the Gojo Manor.

The matriarch was the one who invited you over for a warm welcome. Your mom and she got along quite quickly after a talk over tea, chatting about how handful children can be. yet you never saw a child while they were talking.

Curious, you asked her where the child in her stories was.

She only gave you a pat on the head and took you to a room inside the large house. There, you saw a boy with features you'd never seen before snow-white hair, azure eyes, and an attitude too loud for a child.

yet despite this, you went up to him and introduced yourself.

“I don't make friends with weaklings.”

Well, that was unexpected.

His mother quickly corrected his speaking, apologizing on his behalf for his rudeness.

“Satoru never had any friends, I hope you understand.”

The next day after the encounter, they went to your house so that Satoru could personally apologize to you.

He gave you a hydrangea bouquet, which was quite considerate of him, but you simply thought his mother was the one who arranged the flowers.

Since that day, your mothers have been catching up with each other, chatting about mom things, adult things, and things.

Your mom would always bring you whenever they would meet, and when that happens,

you would often go to Satoru's room, since he's the only child your age, and try to get close to him.

The more you talk to him, the less hostile he becomes towards you. He would eventually be the one to invite you over, even when your moms are busy, he would be the one to talk about how it's very lonely inside the house, and when he first met you, he thought you were an assassin out to get him.

You were an empathetic person. You know how scared he must have been to always be on his guard 24/7. You tried comforting him with a hug, and that was the time you began to get close.

Over the years, when you would come over to his house, he gradually showed his energetic side. You would climb trees together, take lake baths together, and sometimes, he would often make you stay over the night for dinner, even having sleepovers.

Then, one day, he was doing pigtail braids on your hair. For a hairdo he attempted for the first time, it was impressive.

“You look pretty in pigtails.”

Pigtails have become your nickname ever since.

But the more you visit his house, the more you begin to see these weird creatures roaming around. A particular one that was stuck in your memories was a tall, dark, skinny creature with eyes all over its body, dripping saliva from its mouth, with crooked teeth.

It was already nighttime, and you should be home by now, but the creature was standing right outside his bedroom, and he didn't even seem to care.

“Satoru, there's a monster outside your room!”

Satoru looked at you with intrigue. He knew there was a curse, and he could get rid of it easily, but he didn't expect to see you to be able to see the curse.

“You can see it too?!”

He could sense your fear. He didn't know how to comfort you, so he made you wear a blindfold and guided you outside until you reached your home. You never went back there.

After that incident, you never went back into his house even when your mom would visit there.

And he notices, so he explains to you about curses and how his family was one of the major families whose job was to get rid of the curses called sorcerers. He takes you to the more private parts of the house where he practices his techniques.

It was there when you realized how insanely powerful your best friend is. You admit he was scary when he used his techniques, but he assured you he'll use it to protect you when you get scared.

When you were fifteen, Satoru left for Tokyo to pursue his sorcerer education. It was fascinating to learn that such a school existed. He would visit during breaks and holidays, but it was never quite the same.

His voice becomes deeper, and you notice he looks more handsome than cute. When you mention that to him, he would get cocky and boast about it, too.

“You look nice, Satoru,”

“Thanks, Pigtails! I know! And you're lucky you get to look at me whenever you like.”

His cocky side was mildly irritating, but you tolerated it. It's not every day you get to see each other anymore. Eventually, it becomes funny to you.

He would often talk about his new friends Ieri and Suguru and promised to introduce you to them.

“They're nice! I'll introduce you to them someday!”

Enthusiastic as ever.

Although you would often talk on the phone when he's in Tokyo, you two have grown distant over time to the point where whenever he comes back for the holidays, you would only exchange glances and smiles at each other.

You both eventually graduated. You decide to work in Tokyo with your classmates to experience city life.

On your last day at your hometown, you went to the manor for the last time to say goodbyes before preparing to leave.

Although Mrs Gojo was saddened by your departure, she understood that you only wanted to repay your mother's hardships.

“I'm sure your mother is very proud to have a daughter like you,”

“I still remember the times when you and Satoru would do reckless things in this house. I used to scold him very often, you know, but he never listens… My son used to be very rude to the other kids, but you became his first friend, and now look at him. He's having a good life in Tokyo now.”

she accompanied you as you're leaving, but you heard a car being parked at the gate. It was Satoru, coming home for the holidays as usual.

Mrs. Gojo hugged her son tightly, and then Satoru went up to hug you too.

“I missed you, Pigtails. So, what were you doing?”

“Oh, [MC] was just saying her goodbyes before leaving the town.”

“Well, since you're here now, I'm sure you have a lot to catch up on. Come inside now, you two.”

You were reluctant, but you did miss him.

Satoru talked about his job as a teacher and a sorcerer in the school he graduated from. You imagine he must've had a good life there.

“Oh! and Ieri became the school doctor, and Suguru retired from exorcising. He's now just working on the paperworks.”

“So anyways, how's life?”

“Well, i'm working in Tokyo.”

“Oh! Good for you! Where will you be staying?”

“I'll be living alone in an apartment near my workplace. It's much more efficient that way.”

He looked up the place you were staying. He remembered how there's a lot of places there that got shut down or abandoned due many cases of curses swarming there.

He knew you had a fear of curses, and he knew that if you see one, you'l just stand there and look at them in fear.

Curses in Tokyo were much more aggressive than in your hometown. You only survived because you were with the strongest, but what are your chances when you encounter one on your own?

“Are you sure about that place?”

“What's wrong with it?”

“There's nothing wrong with the apartment. It's just that, you live in a street where many curses would roam around.”

The word curses was already enough to get you nervous. You never knew curses were everywhere, even in crowded places like Tokyo.

“Why don't you stay where I live? I'll just take you to your work so you don't have to stress about public transport.”

You wanted to agree, but you don't want to make his work more difficult, but he confidently said that it was fine for him, and you shouldn't worry too much about it, as long as he could keep you away from curses.

You spent a good five days reminiscing about your past and catching up with each other. Now it's time to go to your first day at work.

He helped carry your bags to the trunk, and you both said goodbye to each other's parents.

“Take care of her for me Satoru.”

“Yes mom, I will.” He replied.

“Don't make his work more difficult than it already is, [MC].”

“I promise mom, I won't.”

You finally went up for Tokyo. Your life won't be the same again.

Tysm guys! I hope it's decent... let me know what you think abt the story! (I need someone to remind me to continue this story)

[mykuup]

𝕿𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖑𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝕲𝖔𝖉'𝖘 𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖎𝖗𝖊𝖘

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My Masterlist

Summary : Four dark figures chose you for their full-moon ritual.

wc : 2.5k

Warnings : SMUT // porn without plot // dub con // cnc // bondage // mention and use of tentacle // creampie // kinda monster fucking // kinda religion kink-play? // unprotected piv (wrap it irl guys) // size diference // voyeurism // no mention of y/n // afab reader but no skin color or body description (Reader only have pussy and boobs)

A/n : This is my little gift for Halloween. I know it's not scary or anything but I wanted to share something for this special day!

I discovered this band a few months ago and I'm OBSSESSED to say the least. The lore is incredible and their songs are just amazing!!

Thank you @saphirmoraitie for the beta reading 💜

(The end of 'Of bone and bloom' will get posted soon btw 🤭)

You're out of breath. For the last few minutes, you've been running, plunging deeper into the woods, reaching its darkest depths. You can’t even remember how it began—all you know is that you’re being chased. From a distance behind you, you hear the crunching of leaves under multiple pairs of feet. The full moon hangs above, and the air is chilly, a thin fog blurring your vision and obscuring what lies ahead. Trying to catch a glimpse of what's pursuing you, you stumble over a large tree root. You trip and hit your head hard as you fall to the ground. The impact leaves you dizzy, pain pounding in your skull. As you struggle to rise, the footsteps stop just in front of you. The fog seems to thicken, and all you can make out are four dark silhouettes. "Pl-please," you murmur before everything goes black.

A strong scent of candle wax and burned flowers fills your nose, stirring you from unconsciousness. Your head still throbs, and as you reach up to soothe the pain, your eyes fly open.

You can’t move.

Your wrists and ankles are bound. Beneath you, a hard, cold surface presses against your back each time you try to break free. You take a deep breath. You need to calm yourself to think clearly. As you glance around, you realize you’re indoors; the forest now feels like a distant memory. The room you’re in looks like an ancient church, but unlike any you’ve ever seen. Unrecognizable sigils are painted all over the walls, and the candles appear to float in midair. Maybe you’re dreaming? It’s a strange dream, not quite a nightmare, because despite being tied up, there’s no immediate threat.

At least, not yet.

A tall silhouette approaches slowly, stopping just at the edge of the candlelight’s shadow, keeping itself partly hidden. And for the first time, you hear a voice. It was deep and low, sending chills down your spine. “Let’s see if she’s worthy.” Across the room, three other silhouettes approach you, none as tall as the one who spoke. And that’s when you feel that something seems off. They climb a few steps and surround you, towering over you as you are still lying down, not able to get away from your restraints. “Please, let me go.”, you plead, but you’re quickly muffled, you feel a hand over your mouth, pushing your head back against the cold surface. It felt human even though you realized it was covered in black ink.

Several other hands start to roam over your whole body, exploring and slowly detailing every inch of you. First, it was your hands and fingers, and then they crawled to your shoulders, leaving goosebumps on your arms as they brushed your skin. Another pair of hands was exploring your now bare feet, crawling up between your legs and thighs. You feel overwhelmed by all the attention your body is getting at this moment. You've never been touched like that, yet you still feel trapped, scared of what could happen in this abandoned house.

The tall figure finally steps closer, positioning itself beside you to get a better view. You couldn’t see its face as it was halfway hidden by a mask. All you could see was a mouth covered in black ink and bright white teeth. When you take a look at the others, they all were wearing masks. All different, and covering their whole faces. You could only see their eyes. It looked human yet you still weren’t a hundred percent sure.

"Her body is burning," one of them murmurs to the taller figure, who nods silently, a wide grin cutting across his jaw. It may have been a silent order as the three figures around you begin to undress you, tearing your shirt and unzipping your jeans. And then, they become more invasive, forcing you to open your mouth so they can slip two fingers inside, running it around your lips, and teeth, pulling on your tongue to feel its warm wetness.

You gasp when you feel the remnants of your shirt being yanked off your body and your pants being pulled out entirely. The stone surface beneath you is freezing, a sharp difference with the heat radiating from your body. You’re in shock as tons of feelings are storming in your head, and your breath shortens as fear invades your mind. Your heart is beating fast as you desperately try to free yourself.

But in vain.

The three pairs of hands pin you down, holding you firmly in place. They each, put a hand on your now bare skin, letting a trail of dark ink in their wake. One hand caresses the space between your breasts, while the others grip and knead, thumbs tracing slow circles over your nipples. You feel a heatwave go through your entire being, your little bud of flesh rock hard under their touch.

You should get scared, you should fight back but something in the way they touch you, and the intoxicating fragrance of the candles pulls a soft moan from your lips, escaping against your will.

Hearing the sweet sound you just made, the taller figure puts his big spidery hands around your throat, squeezing slightly. You gasped as you still had two fingers down your throat pumping in and out slowly, saliva drooling at the corner of your lips. Then, his hand trailed up to your forehead where you were hurted, gently caressing your wound, the ink covering his body mixing with dried blood. “Sleep will heal that. You’re too beautiful to wear bruises.” His voice was a low growl. He seemed satisfied with how you were responding to them all. “Let her breathe, II”, he adds and the smallest masked figure took his fingers out of your mouth, smudging some black ink by wiping off your saliva. “Blessed Vessel for bringing you there”,II whispers as he and the others slowly release their grip, their hands leaving your skin.

Sleep? Two? Vessel? What was all that? None of it made sense, and you weren’t sure you wanted to understand. As if reading your mind, the one called "Vessel" speaks again. “Don’t worry, sweet thing,” he walks around you to be close to your feet. “You are the prettiest offering that ever laid on this altar.” 

The three other figures bow in front of Vessel, whispering that they were all envious about what would happen before returning to the shadows.

The masked figure in front of you suddenly seemed even darker. You could now see his black-inked torso, the line of his thin abs almost shimmering with a dark glimmer. The room starts to hum, the air buzzing around you. The air, crisp and cold before, was now warm and humid. Thick black ink was slowly dripping from the church roof, levitating in the atmosphere and reaching the altar. Vessel raises his arms to reach for it and in the blink of an eye, the gooey texture formed several tailed and tentacles coming from behind him. He smiles and cuts off all your restraints, pulling you close to him at the end of the altar.

You watched in awe, how the dark figure who looked human before, was now transformed into something else. It was like he mutated into a kind of entity, an ancient deity, dark and forgotten. The tentacles, cold and slippery crawled over your body like snakes. It almost felt like tongues licking every inch of your skin. Two encircled your ankles to pull your thighs apart and the apparent god in front of you smiled. A devilish grin shows his sharp white teeth as he licks his lips at the view before him. You were full on display, your skin all flushed, a thin coat of sweat making your body shimmer under the candlelight. Your pussy dripping wet as you involuntarily started to get aroused by the whole situation.

“Let the ritual begin”, Vessel announced as he raised his head, looking at the levitating black thing. You didn’t know what it was supposed to be and you don’t even understand what was happening since you woke up on this altar. But all of this was beyond your human imagination and consciousness. Though it looked like a sacrifice of some kind. Before you could ask a question, two big dark hands landed on your thighs, keeping them apart. You gasped in surprise and your eyes went wide when you saw Vessel coming down on his knees. The tails around your ankles forced you to put your legs on his shoulders and you could hear him breathing you in. “Sleep will be so satisfied. It will now be your only purpose, until the end of times.” You jolt when Vessel’s tongue lapped a fat strip of your folds. He hums, savoring your taste and scent, sending vibrations through your whole body. You shiver and squirm under his touch, your back already arching to chase the pleasure. Vessel chuckles at your eagerness and while he dives back into your pussy, three other tentacles crawled to your body. Two stops at your breasts, kneading them and circling your nipples again while the last one slowly coils up around your neck to reach your lips. It tightens around your throat, forcing you to open your mouth for oxygen. But the tentacle makes its way between your plush lips, playing with your tongue.

Again, you felt overwhelmed and your first orgasm arrived quickly, the sweet sensation like a huge wave. “Oh my god, please I- I’m gonna cum god please!” You were a mess, desperate to finally get your release, but Vessel stopped right before you could actually let go. “I am your only God now.” His voice was different from before. It was now a deep, low whisper like someone—something—else was talking. Suddenly, Vessel’s body was towering over you as he kneeled on the altar, his hand splayed on the stone on both sides of your head. The tentacles let go of your ankles, neck, and mouth but you were still trapped under him, his hips between your still parted legs.

You wanted to say something, you wanted to beg, but for what?

You were frustrated your orgasm was denied but you also were still lying there, being a part of a strange ritual for an unknown force. You tried to guess some answers in Vessel’s eyes but all you could see was his dark wide grin and his white and red mask with three pairs of black eye sockets. “You were made for me. Now swallow me whole.” A thick and long appendice forces its way into your tight pussy, stretching you as it slipped in one go. You scream, not really sure if it is because of the pain or the hint of pleasure you finally start to feel again. It was buried so deep inside of you it was hitting behind your navel. You realized it was Vessel’s cock when he started to circle his hips slowly and that the tentacles encircled your wrists above your head. He pulled off almost entirely before diving back. “You’re so worthy.” Again, he starts to piston into you slowly, repeating himself every time he dives in. “You’re so worthy.”

His movement became faster as he buried himself even deeper, making you moan and gasp. Your mind was empty and you were lost in the pleasure Vessel was offering you. His teeth were grazing the skin of your neck and you could feel his hot breath as he whispered. “Beg for me. Show me you’re worthy.” And without hesitation, you plead. ‘Please, please I need to cum.” But the deity wasn’t satisfied.

Vessel speaks again, Sleep’s voice reaching your ears. “Praise me and I’ll offer you what you want.” It was an order, not an asking. But you weren’t really yourself anymore. You were drunk by the fragrance of the burned flowers invading your mind, and without a second-guess, you begged again. “You’re so good to me, I promise I’ll be good to you too.” you moan as one of Vessel’s hands lands on your throat, squeezing tightly. “You can take everything, I’m yours. Forever and always.”

You could have begged even more at this point because of how much you were influenced by your surroundings. But you didn’t need to. The deity’s pleased enough with your prayer and promise.

The entire room buzzes and a whirlwind blew off all the candles around you both. The church was dark for a second before the sigils on the walls you noticed before started to glow. When you looked at Vessel again, the sigil on his mask was gleaming too, his hands and tentacles tightening his grip on you as he pumped into you faster and faster. “Cum for us.” He demands and there was the strongest orgasm you ever had. It hits you like a tsunami wave, that —oh so intoxicating—white hot burning feeling rising from the depth of your belly. You cry as it snaps, your pussy clenching around his length, your release drenching the altar. Vessel didn’t stop, the overstimulation making your body shake and your legs squeezing his waist. “You’re ours now.” He growls in your ear before his cock twitches in your abused pussy, hot ropes of cum painting your inner velvety walls. At this moment you felt full.

Full of him, full of a new force, full of love.

Your pussy was still pulsing around him, and Vessel relaxes his body as he lands on you, letting his weight press over your form. Your scent and heat were mixing together as you felt your eyelids grow heavy. Vessel murmured something to you but your mind was already wandering, your soul far away from your body. 

You groan as you wake up, feeling like you overslept. Your body is sore, but when you try to remember what you did last night, your mind is foggy. Did you fall somewhere, somehow? You’re pretty sure your forehead was bruised.

You sigh, exhausted, looking at your alarm clock. It’s still the middle of the night. You decide to wash your face and drink water to clear your mind, but fragments of memories flash before your eyes as you stumble into the bathroom. A low hum buzzes in your ears like a distant whispering voice. “Worship me now, until the end of time.”

Shaking your head, you pinch the bridge of your nose, trying to shake off the strange sensation and fragments of memories. Everything is blurry, clinging to your mind and skin in an uneasy sensation.

As you stand in front of the sink for water, you dare to look up at the mirror, and your eyes widen in fear. There’s no wound left on your forehead, even though you remember falling last night.

All you can see is the soft glow of the sigil engraved on your sternum.

[loolingz]

pls let me indulge in being fwb with sae, but he ends up falling for u first and just keeps it to himself for the longest time :(( i feel like one day he’d “accidentally” let it slip that he wants more with you while ur fucking, n he tries to play it off like it’s no big deal but on the inside he’s so nervous he’s scared you off ugh </3

nonnie YES!! tysm for this, oh my god! he’s scared to tell u bc usually its fucking with no feelings, i love him!! enjoy it, and asks are always open! 

he was in trouble.

he'd known he was for weeks. when you came over to his house in a nice frilly outfit to attempt to wow him — which, of course, you did — he knew. if only you knew what was going through his head when you two were having fun with each other.

"oh," your breathless voice pleads. "sae, please," the way he hums against your skin has you squirming in his grip, tightening around his fingers as he kisses your neck and shoulder ever so lightly. as sae stretches you out with his fingers, your thigh-length skirt does nothing to protect your lower half. your blouse was rendered worthless at this point, owing to the fact that it was no longer on you. when the two of you first met, it was flung over his shoulder someplace. he enjoyed littering  you. you enjoyed the sensation of his teeth. it was a win-win situation for everyone. or so you thought. you were unaware of his lingering touches and delicate movements.

a third finger slips inside of you, and you’re ashamed about just how much it affects you. it’s hard to stay quiet when he has his way with you- he knows your body too well by this point. his mouth focuses on that sweet spot on the junction between your neck and your shoulder. It’s the spot that can easily turn your sighs into moans. his thumb circles your clit and draws little mixed-up shapes in order to keep your toes curling and that fire in your belly burning. it’s downright evil the way he’s able to make you this wet. it’s like he wants the whole world to  hear your arousal as he works his magic on your pussy. but you’re not entirely  a saint right now.

after all, you are the one with your hand around his dick, aren’t you?

the growl he gives after a particularly harsh tug on his dick is satisfying. there’s precum coating your fingers. he’s making a mess of himself while making a mess out of you. but even the space between your thighs grows wetter and wetter, you can’t help but find yourself eyeing his frustrated face with a certain confidence. if the only way to get back at him is a couple of well-timed strokes then so be it. you’ll have him putty in your hands in no time at all.

this wasn’t the first time the two of you had... “mutually pleased” each other. Nor was it the second, or third, or fourth time. in fact- any chance he got, he’d simply send you a text message and have his way with you to his heart’s content every chance he got. even still, you always felt like you never quite had a good grasp on how to get him off. his dick felt all too large and heavy and hot in your hands. the mere memory of it being inside of you, stirring up your insides, was enough to send your heart racing. though you’re doing something right. you always do. he’s always the first one to grow close to his orgasm.

but he always makes you cum first. every single time.

when his hips begin to buck in time with your strokes, his fingers start moving inside of you faster. much, much, much faster. he stops peppering your neck with thousands and thousands of little tiny nips and kisses and marks just to claim your lips once more. he’s swallowing your moans, keeping you quiet as the lazy scissoring motion he was previously using on you moves to something more focused and deliberate. his long fingers curl deep inside of you, digits finding your the spot that makes you see stars and prodding at it again and again in a way that’s just not fair.

it’s so hard to focus. it’s so hard to keep your eyes open. they flutter and flutter in an attempt to keep your mind intact, but it’s just so  hard. your mouth drops open to let out another moan, and this you just know is a little too loud for comfort. but you can just feel the smirk he gives you against your skin, and you just know sae isn’t opposed to his claim in front of others. but you can’t think about that right now. your mind is on sae and sae alone.

that, and the way he’s about to make you cream all over his fingers.

his unoccupied hand moves up from its resting point of holding on to your hips. he traces and teases your skin as he trails his hand upwards until it finally reaches its destination- your chest. his hand gropes at your breast, twisting and teasing and twirling an overly sensitive nipple in between the rough pads of his fingers tip. you’re starting to see stars.

and that thumb. oh, god, that thumb. you don’t know how he does it. how he’s always able to bend you to his will, over and over again. because that thumb. that thumb on your clit is cruel. it’s so cruel, and it’s so mean. it’s what causes you to break away from his kiss with a startled gasp and a sudden shriek. the pit at the bottom of your stomach is growing. you feel hot- hot all over, and sae was not helping. the tickle of his hair against your shoulder as he whispers nothing but filthy words of praise in an attempt to coax you into an orgasm is sending you into overdrive. his breath against your ear, the way he breaks you down into a whiny little mess, and that  thumb.

“you just cum for me, got it?” he’s growling now. low, deep, and all too husky for your poor fucked out brain to process. “wish we had more than this. wish we were more than this. ‘want you so bad..” 

his eyes widened at his confession, quickly adding a line about your pussy holding tight on his fingers, trying to play off what he had just said.

this sae of yours- this green eyed, red haired sweet boy of yours is downright filthy behind doors. he’s dirty in all the right ways. tainted in all the best of the word, and it’s all for you. all for your body. all for your pleasure. all to drive up you up, get you drunk off his touch, and keep going until you can’t even stand. or pass out. all for your love.

whichever comes last.

in a last-ditch effort to ensure he experiences what he’s putting you through, your grip on his cock tightens. you’re pumping it furiously, working your hand in the way he’s taught you all those weeks ago when it was your first time together. you’re moving with purpose, with vigor, and with passion. his breath hitches loudly, and he’s humping your hand faster and faster. but there’s no time to taste the victory. his retaliation is swift, and his retaliation is punishing. because in just seconds, he’s practically ambushing your pussy

at this point, you’re reduced to tears. all you can do is nod and beg and whimper as you try to clench down on his fingers, chasing your high. your legs are shaking, and at this point, sae is the only thing keeping you upright. every breath you take is overcome with nothing but gasps and squeals as the coil in your stomach tightens and tightens. god, you’re so close. how does he do it? how does he always manage to take you to new heights that you’ve never been before?

“could give you so much more than this,” he whispers again and the sloppy chants of ‘yes, yes, yes, yes-’ fall out of your mouth in pretty little bows, dolled up just for him. “cum for me.”

and you do.

it happens with a start- the coil in your belly snaps, and your mind goes numb. you let out a loud cry as your cunt clenches around his fingers, but sae swallows it quickly with a deep kiss before he starts to cum himself. he forces you to ride out your orgasm with him, white-hot ropes cum shooting out of his dick with every little groan that sneaks out his mouth. his thumb slows down, not quite abusing your poor, oversensitive clit anymore, but it still feels like torture. you don’t want him to stop. not now, not ever.

the quiet gasps of air you let out are all the forest hears in the aftermath. sae’s lips brush against your shoulder, your neck, and your lips over and over again as he catches his own breath. the smile you give him is soft when he finally meets your eyes. But it’s not until you offer up a silent nod does he finally give a small smile back.

and as wordlessly as the two of you started, he sinks down to his knees, hikes a leg over his shoulder, and gives you his tongue in all the right ways.

“then make me yours, sae itoshi.” 

[henswilsons]

also in honour of 6x11 being my favourite episode of all time i thought i’d do a very quick lil fic rec list of my favourite time loop/alternate universe fuckery/dream fics. this is by no means definitive or comprehensive and i know im missing so many more so if u have any others pls pls feel free to rec them bc i actually love this genre of fic so much i could read it all day

keep going, keep going come what may by @fcntasmas​ - reading this fic for the first time damaged me in the best way. i wont spoil it so i cant give any real good summary but just read it its a++++

my words are paper tigers by @hattalove​ - all i can say is that i read this fic once a week for mental health purposes. basically buck breaks up with eddie and then gets caught in a time loop and its just. wow i should reread it again today i think

don’t take the money by @hmslusitania​ - the time loop fic of all time? the time loop fic of all time. time loop fuckery circa monsters and the lawsuit arc and its just soooooo good. also chimney immediate believer no1 stan

burn the straw house down by @hoediaz​ - this fic is SAUR good god. buck and eddie get trapped in their own time loops. the buck/maddie siblings dynamic in this is GOD TIER there’s a line near the end that i won’t spoil but GOD i burst into TEARS the first time i read it. u will know which one as soon as u read it. (also by zoe is this fic which is similar alternate universe fuckery and SO GOOD pls read) 

the persistence of memory by @anxieteandbiscuits​ - i read this like on the verge of tears the whole way through. its so so good and so beautiful and i was forever changed afterwards. basically au where buck gets shot instead and eddie time loops in despair UGH its amazing) (also again by sami is her most recent fic it’s a dream fic and 6x11 spec and SO beautiful omg)

it's funny 'cause i've always dreamed of me and you by @capseycartwright - dream fic/its a wonderful life au fic!!!!!!!! this fic means everything to me you don’t even understand. its so soft and tender and ugh. i love love love it. 

again plz let me know if there r others bc i would happily read 600 more fics of this variety

[kiingfluffybuns]

in another episode of Burns talking about TGED without reading the novel and only focusing on the webtoon as source material

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Can we talk for a moment about Kim Suho and his Best Friend whose name I do not know (if it was mentioned before, pls lemme know)??

Now, I tend to focus a lot on the imagery of the narrative, like I mentioned before, since in the webtoon we do not have literal text to describe actual scenes, it has pushed to take its liberties on how it develops.

We have seen it on the mayor differences between N!Javier and W!Javier. (I was told.)

With that being said, my current theory in the matter is that Kim Suho is NOT a reliable narrator.

What do I mean with that?

SPOILERS,

(I will not post screenshots bc of spoilers)

In today's CH, we begin with a flashback of Kim Suho meeting w his rich Best Friend who he invites to the bath-house.

Now, Suho mentioned before on a previous flashback that his Best Friend invites him to eat out a lot just for the mere satisfaction of showing off his money. And while it's absolutely hilarious to think so, I do believe it wasn't the case.

In this new memory, Best Friend offers him the service for free, shaking Suho a lot, he questions him and the replies he gets are pretty simple, 'my mom owns the place', 'I'm helping her today', but all of that while he's making a very wicked smile.

This gave me the realization that all of this sequence is strictly within Suho's POV, which we can interpret the whole interaction was actually twisted to fit his narrative.

There's a high chance that Best Friend is doing all of these things out of real kindness and bc he does care for Suho.

But bc he refuses to believe ppl does things out of nowhere (like himself), he is convinced that he's being mocked.

For Suho, it has to be that way, he can only receive any kind of help as long as there's a 'catch', just the same way he gives help.

It also makes him upset to understand that his Best Friend knows his schedule well enough to show up at the proper time to ask him to hang out. Which in retrospect, is not that weird.

With time we all get to know when friends/family get off and on to work. It's not rocket science. But bc Suho is not making that same effort for his Best Friend, he assumes that that's the norm.

Why is he doing all of these things? Why does he know when he's free? How does he know he needs to relax?

Bc those are normal things to know of ppl one's close to.

But for Suho, he doesn't take that as relevant to give effort to. So much that he doesn't understand the simpler answers to those questions because he, himself, wouldn't answer them normally. They have to be negative.

Now, this made me believe that he's not being properly truthful with these memories, since he's convinced that all of these 'kind' actions were made w the idea of being mocked by.

After all, regardless of what was the memory, it's extremely normal that ppl will retell a story to fit their narrative.

In this case, that Best Friend just wanted to be entertained with Suho's struggles.

Now, this doesn't seems to happen when it comes to Javier, and the answer I came up for that might be a bit painful. Unconsciously, Suho probably still sees Javier as a fictional character and not a real person. So to give him effort doesn't seems wasteful since he's not 'real'

After all, this story falls into the same gender as Isekai, 'escapism'. So Suho wouldn't have a problem to blend and care for the new ppl around him bc they are not real. They are part of his escapism. Ofc I'm sure that is changing bc he's now seeing the family and home as his. It's just matter of time when he understands that he's actually building proper interpersonal relationships.

That's all I have for now, good night.

ps, if you don't agree, just block me and move on LMFAO.

[seoksgrl]

happier than ever, 3. : knj namjoon x reader friends to strangers to lovers

tws: vomit, alcoholism, sa (very very brief but pls do not read if you are at all uncomfortable with this topic), mention of terminal illness and death

m.list prev | next

The sheets stick to your body when you wake up, rearing up as your muscles clench in fear. Your chest heaves, stuttered breaths puffing from between your dry, parted lips. 

It’s the first time you’ve dreamt of her, dreamt of anything, in months. You swallow, the action almost painful as your tongue sticks to the roof of your dry mouth. A sure sign you didn’t drink enough last night, even as the empty vodka bottle lays beside you on the bed. 

The room is a wasteland of discarded bottles, dirty clothes and a layer of grime you haven’t even thought to clean in the year since your mother died, and the sight of it all in the moonlight that streams in through the open blinds is a stark and painful reminder of your reality. You lay back in your bed, unable to look at it any longer, screwing your eyes shut at the planets painted on your ceiling, faded with age and flaking thanks to the dry, dank air in the room. 

The paintings have an unbidden memory shouldering its way into your unsteady mind, flickering behind your closed eyelids like an old movie on a projector. Your mother’s smile as she lays beside you on the bed, pointing out the planets and stars she spent an exhaustive amount of time painting for you. Her hands perpetually stained with paint, the corners of her eyes crinkled, the softness of her laugh whenever you pronounced the names of the planets wrong. 

Your stomach clenches violently, and you barely have time to react, throwing yourself to the edge of the bed just in time to vomit on the floor, your throat sore and aching once you’re done. Tears track your burning cheeks and you inhale sharply, wiping your mouth with one hand and opening your bedside draw with the other, pulling out a miniature bottle of liquor you stole from the convenience store. You down it in one gulp, grimacing before you toss it with the other bottle on your bed, standing and wiping up your vomit with an old t-shirt. You toss it onto the pile of your other unwashed clothes, deciding to get to it later, even though you know you never will.

The time on your phone reads eleven thirty PM, and you rake your fingers through your hair as you walk to the bathroom, throwing the dry, unbrushed strands into what can only be described as a bun before you leave the house. The bars are still open near your house, and you figure two hours is more than enough time to banish any more memories from rearing their head. 

Namjoon has been holding back on calling his grandmother, but he can only avoid her for so long. He doesn’t even know why he feels this unquenchable need to stay in his hometown, not when you’ve made it pretty clear you can’t stand the sight of him. His chest feels hollow at the thought. 

His fingers fly across his phone screen before his guilt can convince him not to, the ringing line taunting him, turning him back into a shy fifteen year old again until it finally clicks, and his grandmother’s warm voice drifts to his ear.

“Gang-aji, I’ve been waiting for you to call,” Namjoon smiles at his grandmother’s term of endearment, something she adopted almost instantly after their first meeting, even as he was approaching adulthood.

“I’m sorry, I got a little held up,” He frowns, unsure how to explain the fact that he can’t quite come home to his dying grandfather just yet because his ex-best friend hates him and needs his help. In the end, he decides to be vague, “There’s some stuff here that I can’t leave. I know you and grandfather need me, but -”

“Namjoon, I told you not to worry,” His grandmother says, her voice soft, “I expected you to become nostalgic visiting your hometown, you don’t have to explain that, my gang-aji,”

“I wish it was just nostalgia,” He says quietly, clearing his throat, “How is grandfather? Any changes?”

“He’s still sleeping, he hasn’t woken up since you left. They are feeding him through some kind of tube,” She hums thoughtfully, and Namjoon can picture her now, sat on the plush chair beside his grandfather’s bed, looking at the wires and monitors that are effectively keeping him somewhat comfortable. “I don’t think he likes all this fuss,”

“Did he tell you?”

“No,” She says, a laugh caught in her throat despite the circumstances, “even asleep, I can read the man like a book,”

Namjoon chuckles, moving from the small, aged bed at the Lunar Hotel to the window, pushing aside the lace curtains and peering out at the empty road below. Namjoon is still the only guest, and from what he can hear, Jooheon spends most of his time doing DIY around the place, hardly needing to stand at reception. Namjoon can’t help but wonder why what he remembers to be such a bustling beach town would fall into this ghostland he currently sees. 

Namjoon turns away from the window, wishing he could be in two places at once, “If anything changes, I’ll come right back. Send the jet and I’ll get there fa -”

“I know, Namjoon. We can manage. Your grandfather wouldn’t want you stuck in a hospital all day watching him sleep,” Namjoon almost speaks over her, eager to have his grandmother know that he will be home if his grandfather even twitches the wrong way, but she continues speaking, “take some time. You’ve done nothing but work the last few months, and when he…” she inhales sharply, and Namjoon feels his hands twitch to call ahead and take the jet anyway, “Eventually, you will be in charge of everything, and you won’t have time to visit Yeocho,”

The statement is sobering, and Namjoon’s mind automatically flickers to you. If he can help it, he wants to do better than before, wants to stay in touch with you once he’s gone, wants to make sure you’re doing okay and that you never feel alone. 

But first, he has to get you to actually speak to him. Sober.

“Right, you’re right. Of course,” Namjoon sighs, “Send harabeoji my love. And you halmeoni, I love you,”

“Love you, gang-aji,”

Namjoon can’t stay in his room all day, but he finds himself battling with the urge to visit you, to see if you’re okay. He knows the reaction he will get, that you will tell him to leave, and maybe that would be for the best, but he knows it wouldn’t feel right. The idea of leaving you alone, especially after seeing the state you were in, the mess of your childhood home, the empty bottles and smell of stale alcohol that clung to the fabric of the couch he spent his night folded onto, it all leaves a bad taste in his mouth. The only person who might know anything further about what your life has looked like since he left, aside from your asshole ex Seokjin, is Jooheon. 

When his foot hits the bottom step, Namjoon looks around the small lobby, empty and half-painted as Jooheon stretches to hit a corner behind the reception desk which is currently covered in a white sheet. He walks over, hands in the pockets of his slacks - he makes a mental note to have an extra set of clothes sent over, or maybe he can just buy some, surely there’s a store around here some -

“Namjoon, hey,” Jooheon smiles, clambering down the ladder and landing with a thump, wiping fresh paint on his grey overalls, “you need anything?”

“No, I’m good,” Namjoon replies, “I was about to go see Y/N, actually. We didn’t exactly have the best reunion yesterday morning, as you know,”

Jooheon gives an understanding nod and smile, his eyes giving Namjoon a weary look, “Yeah, Mina was out with her friends last night, said Y/N turned up at the bar pretty late. She didn’t look too good apparently,”

The sounds of that fills Namjoon with dread, and he begins to come to terms with the fact that these instances of drinking weren’t just coincidences. He knows now, more than ever, that he can’t leave any time soon, but he has no idea how to approach this whole thing. He can’t exactly turn up at the house and take you to rehab by force, but he also isn't prepared to sit here and watch you drink yourself into oblivion. He needs to think of something, or maybe he just needs to try harder. 

“Are you good?” Namjoon asks when he sees Jooheon wince, bending down to fetch a rag from the floor, wiping his hands as he blows out a long breath.

“I feel like I’ve been trying to fix up this place for years,” He looks around, a mournful look in his eye, “we’re losing money, nobody wants to travel out to random small towns anymore, not when there are better, up-to-date places nearer to the big cities. I don’t know if any of it’s worth it, but I can’t sit and do nothing,”

Namjoon feels for his friend, coming from a background where every hotel his family owns is booming, the demand growing enough for the need to open more, he hates to see a smaller, family-owned business struggle. 

“Well, I’m gonna be sticking around anyway, I’d love to help out,” He proposes, shrugging, “I’m pretty good with a hammer,”

Jooheon smiles, slapping his friend on the shoulder, “I’d love that, man,”

His back is sore by the time Namjoon finds his way to your house, a route he memorised years ago and the journey still hasn’t faded from his mind, even after so long of walking through concrete laden streets instead of quaint, dirt paths. He still has paint staining his hands, but even after your anger with him yesterday, he can’t imagine you’ll mind. 

The door is slightly open when he reaches the porch, and a prick of alarm rings true in his chest. A dozen scenarios sweep through his mind, and images of you lying face down on your living room floor taunt him as he pushes the door open. The living room is close enough that he can see the sofa, and can see you on it.

Back pressed to the sofa cushions as another man looms over you, kissing your neck. Your eyes open slowly, blearily and briefly widen when you spot him in the doorway, and the second he hears the looseness in your voice, his feet are carrying him over. 

“Whoops -”

“What the fuck -” The man grunts as Namjoon lifts him off of you by the elbow, stumbling a few times as he resists the urge to throw him to the floor.

Namjoon pins the man, shirtless and several inches shorter than him, with a cold glare, “Get the fuck out before I throw you into the street,”

The man glances around, almost as if he might want to take his chances with Namjoon, but he decides against it, bending to pick up his shirt and shoes, “Fuck this shit, man,”

The echo of the door’s slam is the only sound left for a while, Namjoon’s eyes crossing from the windows to where you sit, swaying in your seat, eyes hazy even as you glare up at him. When you stand, he resists the urge to steady you as you wobble slightly, the scent of liquor quickly reaching him as you step closer, frowning.

“You kicked out my date,”

“That wasn’t a date, Y/N, you’re too drunk to stand let alone do anything else,”

You scoff, turning away, “I was fine,”

“He was taking advantage. There wasn’t a drop of alcohol in that man’s whole body, he shouldn’t have come home with you,” Namjoon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “at best he should have just dropped you off at the door,���

“I’m not a dumb little teenager anymore, Namjoon, I don’t need you to look after me,” You’re breathing heavy now, but there’s a glassiness to your eyes that he feels isn’t solely from the alcohol. All over again, he feels like shit for leaving, for not keeping in touch and for being unaware of all the bullshit that life has dealt you over the past few years. 

“I just want to help you, Y/N,” He steps forward, sighing when you flinch away from his touch, “Please,”

You blink rapidly - your tell, Namjoon recalls. There are a handful of memories that suddenly rush to greet him, most of which are the two of you trying to make it through Titanic without crying. You always lost, much to your frustration, blinking quickly in an effort to stop the tears from falling.

They don’t fall now, though, and instead you just stare at him, angry and dishevelled, smelling of booze and still a little something that reminds him of home, somehow. It makes his stomach clench at the juxtaposition of it all. 

“I don’t need your help,” You say, lip trembling, and you move forward, hands pushing hard at his chest, “Just get out! Get out!” you’re screaming, shoving him back to the door, and all Namjoon can do is watch helplessly and do as you ask. He can’t force you to listen to him, but he’s not done trying. Not by a long shot. 

“I’ll leave now, but I won’t stop, Y/N,” Namjoon says quietly when you finally stop screaming, panting as you watch him with his hand on the doorknob, “I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry. But I’m not giving up on you,”

He opens the door, stepping out and resisting the urge to look back, desperate to see a glimpse of the girl he took for granted and left behind. But he doesn’t deserve to see her, not yet, and so he closes the door softly behind him, not turning even when he hears you throw something hard enough for glass to shatter.  

taglist: @maryseesthings @rkivesfilm @btsffreader92 @creolesoul2seoul @kissme-ornot

pls let me know if you wish to be added

[oldcrowshag]

pls share more abt Michigan/Great Lakes land work + craft? 🥺 Fellow pagan moving to Mich for college soon

Le Nain Rouge, The Red Devil of Detroit

Besides working with the land itself, one of the best ways for me to get to know a new place (and develop my craft) is by meeting its folklore. A housewarming gift to you from the land of haunted sea-lakes: one of my favorite urban legends from Michigan.

Detroit occupies the contemporary and ancestral homelands of the Ojibwe, Ottawa, and Potawatomi nations. They maintain a rich recounting of the land's history and it's quite possible this story comes to us from them through the lens of settlers, or that it was derived from colonial politics entirely. All the more reason for a witch to dissect it!

Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac founded the French outpost Fort Pontchartrain du Détroit ("of the Straits") in 1701, where at first he enjoyed great success. The legend goes that he encountered a fortune teller at a party (older sources tend to use outdated terminology to describe her, but modern researchers agree, for the sake of the legend, she was perhaps Native and certainly Othered). She warned Cadillac that he had a future with great potential, but that he was soon to encounter a red devil and that he should treat their interaction with care. Should he slight the devil he would lose all good fortune and have nothing left to give his descendents. Cadillac laughed off the warning and returned to the festivities, and I presume the fortune teller left to warn other white men of their folly.

Sure enough, on a warm evening soon after, Cadillac and his wife were on a stroll outside the fort when an imp of frightening appearance stepped into their path. Instead of doing anything else the commander beat the devil back with his cane, and it was said upon receiving these blows the devil disappeared with a cackle. Later in his story Cadillac would be ousted from Detroit and shipped to an outpost in Louisiana, and then later a French prison. Modern scholars say he "probably deserves to be ranked with the 'worst scoundrels ever to set foot in New France.'"

From then on, a sighting of the Red Devil became synonymous with ill tidings. He was seen before the Great Fire that burned the city to the ground. People claim to have seen him wandering the streets during the Detroit Rebellion of '67, one of the greatest insurrections in American history. They say he wore an obscene grin on his face. Before one of the worst ice storms in living memory utility workers saw him dancing on the power lines. Every blue moon there are whispers of encountering him on a dark street, or spotting his grin under the eaves of a dark house. He is the harbinger, neither the cause nor solution for a coming terror nobody can dam up.

The tides are turning for the red devil, as far as public relations go. Every year on the vernal equinox (or weekend of, for the drinking) the Marche du Nain Rouge takes over the Cass Corridor. It's a parade by the public, with costumes and dancing and floats. Some march to ward the devil off, while others are there in solidarity of an othered folk-character. It's one of the Detroit weird-isms I could talk about all day.

(courtesy of u/ParticularYak9967 on reddit)

Regardless, they march as proof that the Devil is in Detroit, and he's alive and well.

(I'm thinking of writing more posts centered around Michigan-based lore and craft, but if anyone else would be interested in more content like that it would be nice to hear 😊)

[bravelittleocelot]

edit: NEVER MIND I FOUND IT ITS CALLED KISS ME DEADLY BY MICHELE HAUF

THIS ITCHES MY BRAIN SO GOOD I CANT BELIEVE I FOUND IT

i dunno if this post will get any traction of if anyone will even see it but I have a memory of a book that I read and I cannot figure out the title or author for the life of me, its driving me crazy and I would love some help trying to figure out wtf it was. If you don't know it, please reblog so that maybe someone who does will see it. I'll try and put as much detail in as I can.

Back, probably in the 2008-2012 era, I had an iphone three and access to an app that was like, possibly the old kindle app or the old apple books app, or neither of these but a A free books app.

on that app there were different sections, action, adventure, romance. I don't remember if you could download the different books from each section, I feel like you could because I'm fairly certain there was a classic section and I got alice in wonderland from it.

so, this book I'm trying to remember, it was in the romance section. Specifically paranormal romance. I do not remember the title, or the author.

Here's what I do remember:

It was a smutty romance, very graphic, and I think it was third person with dual povs.

I believe it was about a witch x witch hunter, possibly a werewolf. Either way it was enemies to lovers I think.

He enters her house for some reason, and The witch is cooking up a love spell potion. I think it gets on them both and she goes to wash it off but he follows her and they bang in the shower.

She had red hair, I think. I believe her hair colour was important

there was some kind of war.

Her blood burned him, or his blood burned her.

it's possible bullets were made out of said blood.

they end up together.

I believe they also bang on her couch at some point.

Thats all I remember.

this book sits in the back of my mind and it drives me crazy that I can't remember what it was or find it. I have combed through my apple books but nothing is jumping out. Nobody else knows this book it seems, and I cannot for the life of me find anything on google that comes close.

If you know this book, or know someone who could find this book, pls lmk because its honestly, driving me nuts.

[your-daily-biaswrecking]

Hello! can you do a scenario with fem!reader and father's best friend!namjoon? I totally understand if this is a concept you're uncomfortable with. All the armys are going crazy with the dilf!bts concept so I need to have this 😭

Tbh that's a hard concept (like absolutely don't do this irl y'all plss it's not okay if it's not fiction– go in the notes to read my PSA pls) so I had to write a bit of plot at the beginning just because I wanted to make it as less weird as possible lol

Namjoon wasn't the type of family friend you got to see a lot growing up. He was, however, the type of friend you got to hear about a lot. Your dad had spent his high school years being in a band that never really had its break, and Namjoon had apparently been the youngest member and your father's favourite. He kept talking about how he "raised" him, meaning he helped him get his first kiss and taught him about girls. Then your dad got your mum pregnant right after graduating, and they both decided to move to the US to find a job and start their family. Your family. And so your dad lost touch with his best friend.

He talked about him quite often, and you knew he had even visited once when you were still too young to have a memory of it. You had only ever seen a couple of pictures of them together; Namjoon looked like a very cringy 13-year-old with a terrible haircut. Not that your dad as a teenager looked any better. But that's beside the point. It doesn't matter what he looked like back then, today you probably wouldn't be able to even recognize him even if he passed you on the street.

"Did I tell you? My best friend moved here from Korea! The band kids are back together!"

Namjoon came back into your father's life at around the same time as you left it– moved away for college. And you kept getting all these updates on how great it was that they found each other again, how many things they did together and in general how happy your dad was. When you visited home for Christmas, Namjoon was away so you didn't run into him. And almost a year after he had moved there, you would finally meet him during the summer. Your father invited him for dinner one hot evening in July.

You opened the door to find him standing outside, your mother just a step behind to greet him. “Joonie! So glad you could make it. Come on in, come on in... Ah! As you know, this is our daughter.”

The man was tall and handsome, nothing like the pictures you had seen. And familiar. His eyes met yours and he smiled, making your blood run cold— you had seen that man before. Not even a week ago, staring at you at the bar while sipping his whiskey until you decided he was too hot and couldn’t be older than 30, so you walked up to him and gave him a napkin with your number and a lipstick stain of a kiss on it. He never called.

“Wow,” Namjoon said without his tone matching his words. “She has grown up so much.” And he looked you up and down again, checking you out kind of like he had done that night. Your entire face was burning, turning on your heels to get away. What the fuck kind of luck was that? He was your dad's friend? You hoped– you begged that he didn't recognize you. He wasn't saying anything, though his eyes kept on stealing looks, and so you thought you might have had a close escape. Until you run into each other in the kitchen. Alone. "Come here, young lady," he said in a deep voice that sent shivers down your spine. You already felt like you were in trouble. "Does your father know you go around giving your number to men almost twice your age?"

He was so close, eyes travelling lazily down your form with a smirk on his lips. "No," you choked. "I– I don't– You were staring at me, that's why I thought..."

"I was staring at you because I was trying to figure out if you were my best friend's daughter."

Hearing him say the words made your cheeks burn. Defeat. He had a logical excuse and all you had was that he was a little too much your type. And he sounded like he was scolding you, reminding you of your place. You lowered your head, really wanting to get out. "Please don't tell him."

Don't tell him I hit on you. Don't tell him I wanted to fuck you.

Namjoon didn't reply right away, but late that night you got a text from an unknown number. "I won't tell him anything."

He won't tell him anything. Perhaps that could be applied to what had already happened, or what would happen in the future.

You didn't text frequently, but you did nonetheless. And even though you were sure both of you would say they were simple, innocent texts, how innocent could they really be when the man already knew how you felt about him? Maybe you were crazy, but you thought he might like you too. Maybe he liked the fact that you liked him. It wasn't evident in anything he did or say, just the vibes you got from him those days he visited your house, or the way he looked at you when you were left alone for a second. The summer passed by so fast when every other day you met your father's best friend in one way or another.

When it was time for you to move back to the city where you attended college, Namjoon just so happened to be going there for some work too. And your parents were grateful that you had someone to travel with. The car ride was long and mostly silent. You had never been left alone for so long and suddenly you realised how hard it was to keep a conversation going without talking about how horny he made you feel just by being in the same, tight space with you. But the farther away you got from home, the less you cared about keeping your good reputation up.

"Where will you sleep tonight?" you asked him after he helped drop off all your stuff at your apartment late that night and was already at the door, ready to leave.

"I'll find a hotel," he told you, hand still on the door handle.

"You can stay here if you want to."

"Don't–" His plea was soft-spoken, in contrast to the intense way his eyes were piercing yours.

"Don't what?" you acted dumb. "All I'm saying is I'm sure dad would rather you stay instead of paying for a room. You're like family, anyway."

You noticed how he took in a deep breath, grip around the knob getting harder. "Don't bring him into this."

Saying that you two shouldn't mention your father was like admitting what was going on right now was beyond innocent. And even though your stomach clenched at his harsh tone, you bowed your head and whispered. "I'm sorry."

"This is so wrong," you heard him call loudly all of a sudden, making you look back at him. He was chewing on his lip desperately. "I was there when your dad got your mom pregnant. Do you know what I said? Fuck, man, how are you gonna get out of this bullshit? I shouldn’t be…"

You blinked at him, waiting to hear the end of the sentence. "Shouldn't be what?" You weren't gonna let him slip away that easily. You would push him until he had to say what he wanted to say. It was your only chance, anyway.

Namjoon sighed. He pushed the door closed and walked up to you steadily all while he was staring straight into your eyes. "Why did you give me your number that night?"

Your breathing was already getting heavier. You wouldn't back away. What was the point? He knew already. "Because you were hot. And I wanted you to fuck me."

He chewed his lip for a few seconds, watching your face as he contemplated his next words. "Why do you want me to stay over tonight?"

You gulped. He was so close, closer than ever. "Because you're hot," you whispered. Glance down on his lips. "And I want you to fuck me."

He closed his eyes momentarily before he was exhaling loudly. "Fucking– hell!"

And he instantly moved forward, one hand grabbing the back of your head as he brought your face to crush on his, mouths smashing against each other after all the times you had dreamed about it. It was so much better than you could have imagined, lips full and soft parting yours for his tongue to slip in between, making you moan. And you were trying to get closer and closer, almost tripping as you walked blindly further into the apartment. His jacket was discarded on the floor before your shirt joined it, and Namjoon was growling before attacking your neck with his teeth.

"Daddy..." The word truly slipped out of you, and he was pausing for a moment, pulling away to look at you.

"Really? You're really gonna call me daddy?" Your eyes were wide and cheeks burning, squirming away from him before he grabbed your wrist to keep you close. "Shit," he grunted, not sounding mad at all. "Alright, baby. Show daddy where your room is, need to get you in bed right away."

And you mewled at his words. You were there in no time, pulling the rest of your clothes off as Namjoon undressed too. Big and thick, he was even hotter like that, making you press your legs together as you took the sight in. And when he removed his boxers too, you got to found out his dick matched the rest of his body perfectly, long and thick and so hot it made your mouth water.

"Daddy," you whined as he started crawling over you. "You're so big. You're gonna tear me apart."

His large hand grabbed your jaw. "That's what you get for playing with big boys." And he kissed you ruthlessly again. His other hand travelling down your form until he found your pussy, fingers playing with your folds and humming in satisfaction. "So wet. Is that all for me, baby?"

"Yes, daddy," you moaned, hips trying to grind on his hand for some more friction. "I've been wet for you since I first saw you."

"Fuck. I know, baby," he breathed into your ear, two fingers slipping slowly inside you and stretching you out. "I could tell. You weren't hiding it very well, baby. How much you wanted me to ruin you. Which is why daddy's been hard for you all this time, too." Your breath was hitching as he was moving his hands slowly, not even trying to fuck you like that, just trying to get you ready for his cock. And he stopped. "Are you gonna let daddy fuck you raw, baby?"

You almost screamed. "Fuck, yes, daddy, please! Fuck me open with your cock."

Namjoon was growling as he retrieved his fingers from inside you. "What a dirty mouth! Who taught you to speak like that, you dirty, little whore? I thought you were a good girl."

Your nails were scratching his back as you whined and squirmed underneath him. "Oh, daddy, please! I need you! I'll be good for you."

And you felt the tip of his dick press against your entrance as he shushed you. "Alright then. Be a good girl for daddy and take this big cock like the good, little slut you are." And he shoved himself in you.

"O–oh my god!" you yelped. Namjoon didn't go easy on you, didn't go slow or gentle, he started pounding you fast and hard right away, truly fucking you open like you had asked him to. You were squirming underneath him but his body was so big and strong, it was caging you completely. And just to shut you up he kissed you again, tongue so deep in your mouth he was choking you. Namjoon was fucking you so hard he brought tears to your eyes, and you felt euphoric being used by him like that.

"My dirty, little cunt," he rasped after he freed your mouth. "Like taking my cock like that?" You were nodding, mewling, unable to speak. "What a good girl. Letting daddy fuck her as hard as he wants." He leaned back, grabbing your arms until he had your wrists pinned above your head and the new position gave him the ability to piston his hips against yours even faster, diving even deeper.

"Fuck, daddy, I'm gonna cum," you cried, legs shaking as they fought against his abusing thrusts between them.

"So easy," Namjoon panted with a smirk. "So easy to please you. Gonna cum cuz you've never had dick like daddy's before, huh? No one's ever fucked you this good? Those little boys your age, I bet they don't know shit about pleasing a nasty girl like you." He spat on his free hand and brought it right down on your clit, pressing on it hard. And you were moaning even louder. "There you go, baby. You can cum on daddy's dick now."

"Namjoon–" you yelped, and you felt your orgasm pop, gushing all your juices over him as he kept fucking you through it. He slowed down a bit, coming down to kiss you sloppily as you continued to whine with each thrust against your sensitive, tight walls.

"That's my good girl," he whispered, kissing you almost lovingly. "Don't worry, baby. We're not nearly done yet." And his thrusts slowly got deeper and deeper. "You really shouldn't have let me fuck you, baby. Cuz now I don't ever plan on stopping."

Masterlist | Part 2

[lina-andel]

WHAT ok- I saw that there is not much anon requesting and I am furiousssss!!! FIRST OF ALL UR WORK ARE ABSOLUTELY HEAVEN no need explaining cuz if all the others read ur masterpiece, they too will agree.

AhEmM sorry got carried away...

Could u write more of the angsty stuff but like can u add more anger in it cuz tbh if the world that I created couldn't even recognize their own creator. I would be saddened at first but instantly furious and sooo very disappointed ^^"

Tbh I just woke up so idk any other idea than this but if ur too busy rn then it all good :D pls don't pressure urself and take care!!

Love u!!! - 🌹anon

(I just recently got Tumblr so idk how this anon thing works but could I be the 🌹 anon?? If this is only for some anon and there's a requirement then pls do ignore this XD)

Thanks again for saying so, 🌹anon, I didn't think my work would be so appreciated... so embarrassing!

Don't worry, I love answering questions! This gives me strong motivation! And yes, welcome! <3

The first thing you felt when you woke up was... confusion. Your memory from that world was mixed with the memory of this, because of which you sincerely did not understand what was happening and who you were, because the memory of man and God was extremely conflicted. I had to spend a couple of days understanding and accepting that you are the god of this world and its creator, who ended up in the body of an ordinary mortal.

The first thing you decided to do after the adoption was over was to go to the nearest town to eat and see how people would accept you. Do they remember you? If so, will it be recognized? They must - you are God, they must know you!

In the city, you drew... disappointing conclusions. You are remembered, yes, you are worshiped and adored... But no one recognized you in this body. You never thought that mortals would raise their hand against God. And even Morax, the one whom you considered the most faithful of your creation... Only thinking about the hatred and contempt with which he looked at you, a boiling rage rose in his chest.

How dare he? How dare someone who would not even be born without your grace do this to you? How dare the others treat the Creator in this way? Your rage was indescribable, it seemed, just a little more - and he will pour boiling lava on the land that you created with such care... and on the people who repaid so badly for your kindness.

You met all three Archons in the temple.

The temple that your subjects erected when you still ruled these lands. Gold and jewelry adorned the walls and floors, marble created the appearance of a pure and divine place - which your temple - your home - was.

You saw their armies at the entrance, you saw that your three most beloved creations are ready to kill you... You could hardly restrain yourself not to laugh or kill them all.

"How dare you enter my house after your actions? This place was not made for your filthy desires of war." - you said it coldly, holding back anger at such ungrateful creatures. Your centuries-old memory didn't let you get angry too much, but if they do something that you don't like, you will release all the rage on them.

- "How dare an impostor stand where Their Highness stood?" Morax answered coldly, raising his spear at you. Ei and Barbatos were also ready to attack you without recognizing you at all.

And then you realized that you've had enough.

The Archons saw how your face was distorted in rage and contempt directed at them, and then fear pierced them - the fear of their subjects, that right on the steps of your temple they were torn apart by the wind, burned by lightning and went underground. Someone screamed in fear - and mechanical clangs abruptly cut off their cry.

Nature raged, the mechanisms of the ancient nation were drawn here, destroying along the way everything that came under their heavy hands and steps. Rumble and drops of blood sprinkled your threshold and steps, making the Archons feel the entire horror of the situation.

Their people were dying right now, their lands were dying under the force of their elements, and they could not move, nailed to the ground by your furious gaze.

"Since you have accepted the creator of this world in this way, then this world does not need to exist."

[turtle-ly]

Do you have any catradora fic recs?

i am MADE for this, okay im gonna pick some non-popular ones bc who havent seen them got rec'd a thousand times? let's fucking go:

Oneshots (<5k):

1. blood by lesbians_harold, pre s5 nightmare angsts have a different Spice to it <3

2. Houses Will Build Themselves by jockvillagersonly, somft domesticity, adora builds a drawer

3. but at least the pain will last by TurtleTotem, i throw you on a loop! itsa angst again :) i love soulmate aus but soulmate aus when they're enemies? muah

4. we didn't start the fire (it lived in us) by blackranger (robpatFF), oh how i've thought about you days and nights, op'd adora is very good for your health actually, i've talked about it more here

5. Memory by CabbageCommander, yes i've rec'd s1 angst, s2 angst, now it's s3 angst >:) this fic urged me to do a gifset, one of the only 2 i've ever made, the impact 😌

6. When you’re away (losing sleep) by ClaraZorEl, i love character studies cant you tell

7. Gold, Falling from the ceiling by oliwellwhocares, hair, and the feels

8. how a blessing feels just like a curse by artemiswords, oh turtle you said you dont like angst that much! now explain your bookmarks pls. infected!she-ra :)

9. being chill, being chill with you (oh it kills, they ain’t chill at all) by emdashcomma, how does it feel to see our two favorite dumbasses dancing around each other but like, through the horde kids POV

10. your catra by bogfenwetland, or adora's fight with prime hive mind catra

Oneshots (>5k):

1. Eclipse by theamberissubtle, i guess this is canon divergence since it's from 2019, but great post-war fics are timeless and come in all shapes and sizes

2. Gold, White and Red, hnnnng im feral over goddess adora post s5, see me losing it over the fic here

3. Time to Go by elowen_p, as much as i like canon divergence, im not usually one for s1 cd fics. This is the exception, bc it's slightly Fucked Up and my guilty hc is that everyone in the horde is fucked up in various ways and degrees. adora remains in the horde, but at what cost?

4. tell me (you won't leave me) by insanetwin, post s5 catra submits herself to the mortifying ordeal of being known in order to enjoy the rewards of being loved

5. want me down to the marrow by auberigine, i am rubbing my hands all over s3 aus

6. a rumor, a legend, a mystery by nuttyshake, anastasia au, im gonna be honest with you, i havent watched anastasia for reasons, this one still melted my heart though

7. how can anybody have you by lavendersgreen (M), horde lord! catra. i almost forgot this one is angst angst disguised as fluff lol

8. brave face talk so lightly (hide the truth) by nuttyshake, this is the second time i rec'd this author in this post so im gonna do you a favor and add their tumblr, @/clacing, okay no more angst and its cousins this fic is pure yearning and fluff i promise

9. Meet Me At The Finish Line by clottedcreamfudge (E), haha dumbasses, you should also check out their other spop fics, namely the galling stones series lmao

10. baby, i'm a house on fire (and i wanna keep burning) by wittchers, i was about to stop with these but i cant scroll past this, i think this one is popular with the early fandom actually, medieval arranged marriage au with lord catra, sexy :)

Multi-chapters:

1. 82 Hours by burstofpeony, dancer au where they also got separated bc drama, the usual, but now on a train. i read this fic in one sitting i think

2. notes on fashion by slowdown, im adding this one bc i have taste

3. dangerous woman by n7punk, i KNOW i know, who havent known them?! but this hc is superior babes!

4. on another note im gonna rec on the other side + their and they were roommates collection too. at the 3rd reread im considering this is my comfort fic, if comfort fics are the kind that makes you roll around on your bed and take several breaks to calm down from the dumbassery.

5. wild things by sevensevan, Shadow Weaver sends Catra into the woods to die. Catra doesn't. tbh i'd like to read more about this since im soft for aus where catradora leave the horde on their own, it's still good where it's at tho

Im pulling my bookmarks out for y'all except the almost pure spicy ones that i wont name in this post haha. read these and you might just be able to pinpoint my fic taste :)

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

in which you and harry meet again after six months.

a/n: hiiii! this is for @theharriediaries fic challenge! the photo used is the one on the left of the banner, and the dialogue i chose was ‘Is this seat taken?’ ‘By you, I hope.’ & ‘I’m sorry it took us this long.’ thank you for creating this challenge, soph!

thank you @sunflowers-styles for beta reading this for me, mwah! <3

WORD COUNT: 12k of dad!harry with slight angst and fluff (pls appreciate the dilfrry dialogues in this lmao)

COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALK ABOUT ‘THE TRAIN RIDE BACK TO US’ I’d love to know your thoughts!

pls rb to share! <3

The gold bell chimed quite loudly, informing the baristas that someone had entered their shop. The aroma of fresh ground coffee beans immediately filled your senses once you pushed open the sage green door as the smell feeling of nostalgia and comforted you. 

Everything looked the same in the coffee shop. The oak wood floor never changed with coffee stains in certain areas that didn’t quite seem to come off all the way, no matter how hard the employees scrubbed—but it gave the shop character, in your opinion. Different colored potted plants filled the shop in every corner and on the clean white windowsill, making the place look lively. Crisp oxygen mixed with Columbian coffee beans flowed around the shop, making customers want to come back to a comfortable environment. Black and white bistro tables sat within the café, with silver metal bases, holding the circular table tops up as they alternated with colors along the built-in brown bench against the light-gray colored wall; with matching black and white metal chairs that practically screeched against the oak wood floors when someone was trying to scoot in or out of the table. 

The entire shop was the exact same from what you remembered it to be six months ago. The only difference was that when you sat on the wooden bench, specifically at the black table in the corner that was right next to the window, the person who was supposed to be in front of you wouldn’t be there; and for that, your heart dropped a little. 

Trying not to think too much about your change of mood, you ordered your usual—an iced mocha latte with a pump of sweet vanilla syrup—before you paid and turned around to see which tables were available. The usual corner table was staring right at you, practically mocking you, and you wished that the table was occupied, but then you would’ve felt wrong sitting at a different table when yours was clearly open. 

You took your seat on the bench, and almost immediately, you started shaking your leg underneath the table. Your seat felt hot, as if the wood was catching fire underneath you, burning your legs and making you antsy. 

Luckily, the shop wasn’t crowded so it took the baristas less than six minutes to make your drink and to call out your name from behind the counter. Quickly, standing up from the burning hot seat, you made your way to the counter, thanking Mel for the drink. Since coming here, you had become quite a constant in the cute Portland coffee shop. Mel was one of the employees that had worked at the shop the longest, so she made everyone’s drinks because she knew the menu the best. So, you caught up with her a bit, and inevitably, she asked where you had been. 

“You didn’t find a better coffee shop did you?” She teased, making you chuckle. 

“No, I’ve just been, uh, too busy to come around. But I promise, your drinks and shop are still the best,” you said truthfully, to which she beamed. To this day, you hadn’t found a superior coffee shop than ‘Coava’ because the others just didn’t compare—they didn’t make you feel the same way you did with this one. “But thanks for the coffee.” You gave her one last smile before you turned around to make your way back to your table. 

And then the bell chimed. 

It was as if the sun was peeking out through the clouds; the sun beams strongly pointed down onto the wet pavement after a night of rain, leaving the air with its pleasant smell of petrichor. He was the light that seeped through the curtains, and you knew it was going to be a lovely day. 

“Harry…” you stopped in your tracks, careful not to spill the contents of your coffee cup. Your heart skipped several beats once he flashed you his gorgeous smile that you were still hopelessly in love with. 

“Hi, Y/N.” Harry mindlessly played with the buttons of his coat as he mentally tried to situate the nerves in his head and stomach. His breath felt like it was stuck in his throat, making his voice slightly trail off with a crack to the tone. 

It felt like the two of you were the only ones in the coffee shop—minus the locals who were sitting at the tables, minding their own business, or wondering what the fuck they were doing standing in the middle of the shop—completely and fully captured by the other’s stare and presence. 

The loud screeching noise of steam took you out of your dazy trance as you cleared your throat. Harry looked down at his feet before looking up at you through his lashes, shyly intertwining his hands behind his back. 

“Uh, would you like to join me?” 

Harry raised his brows at your proposal, pursing his lips to contain his giddy excitement. “S-Sure.” You took a deep breath before you started to walk towards the table in the corner—one he was also very familiar with. “This seat...Is this seat taken?�� He asked politely but, almost instantly, mentally cursed himself because you wouldn’t have invited him if you were with someone. 

You didn’t catch his slip up, instead, you smiled as your face grew warm. “By you, I hope.” Harry blushed, taking a seat on the black metal chair across from you. 

“So, how’ve you been? It’s been a while since I last saw you,” you mentioned. 

It’d been six months since the last time you saw and sat in front of Harry—a very long six months. The conversation six months ago wasn’t the most happiest of memories because that  conversation brought in the heartache and heartbreak; the chat had included the mutual separation of your relationship that involved tears, chest pain, and as always, the smell of Colombian coffee that surrounded your afflictive conversation, hoping it would calm the tension between you two. 

“Yeah, it has been a while, but I’m doing okay. How are you?” 

“I’m good.” There was a bit of awkwardness swirling in the air, and you absolutely despised it—you wanted it to leave the shop and never return. You had always imagined what it would be like bumping into Harry again, more importantly, what you would say to him. And despite all those moments daydreaming of finding the right words, you were completely stuck, and you fully blamed it on the awkward tension. “Can we not be…y’know, awkward? That’s not us,” you simply said. 

Harry let out a sigh of relief, adding a breathy laugh. “Yes, yes, of course. You’re right, that isn’t us at all.” Mel brought him an iced black coffee since it was his usual, and she saw that he didn’t get the chance to order because he was immediately occupied by the sight of you. He softly thanked her with a smile, only taking his attention off of you for a split second before his eyes were right back on you; he didn’t know what this conversation would lead to, nor did he want to get his hopes up, so that meant spending every moment with his complete attention and eyes averted to you. “I miss you…” he said. 

There was a sense of relief as you exhaled deeply, glad that he wasn’t the only one who was missing the other. His words had brought a flutter of butterflies to your stomach, soaring as they pleased while your face felt warm. 

You and Harry had been together for a year and a half before calling it quits. For most of the relationship, it was happiness and bliss—occasional fights, but they weren’t frequent—towards the last few months however, things were getting a bit stressful. You remembered the days like it was yesterday as the vivid memory crept inside of your head...

It was nearing nine in the evening and the house was quiet. The silence was louder than the ongoing noise inside your head that was constantly yelling at you, making your head ache from the incessant thoughts. It was safe to say that you weren’t happy, and that even Harry wasn’t happy either. But you had only gotten a glimpse of him during the evening, so you were simply assuming that he wasn’t content—but it was a very logical assumption since every time he looked at you, it seemed like he was becoming more stressed out by the minute; as if he didn’t already have a lot on his plate during the day, and by night, he would still have to deal with whatever argument and fight either of you would pick for no apparent reason. 

It started with petty little arguments, getting annoyed and frustrated at the other because of burnt toast or something as small as running out of detergent for the laundry. But fighting over nothing had turned into completely confessing that you weren’t happy anymore, and that the exhaustion had gotten to you. 

“I-I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Harry,” you said in between your sobs that you tried to contain. “All we’re doing is hurting each other—we’re not even happy together anymore!” 

It felt like his heart was exploding, but it was the truth. “Darling…” 

“You can’t lie and tell me that we’re happy together because it’s obvious that we’re not.” You wiped the tears from your face, leaving your skin damp from the moisture. 

Harry sighed deeply, knowing he couldn’t argue anymore. He felt defeated and upset with himself; it was like he was doing well in everything else or at least trying, and he couldn’t even do his part in being a good boyfriend to you. He knew part of the reason why both of you weren’t happy was because of the neglectance, and both of you were too exhausted to even communicate that feeling. You two were both independent entrepreneurs—always knowing when to close business and how to make a well deserved investment or sale with others who were trying to buy whatever stock or product. But when it came down to each other, to Y/N and Harry, it seemed like the individuals that were trying to please and charm others had dissipated, leaving no room or patience for each other. 

“We’re both busy, Harry, I get that. And maybe it’s best if we call it quits until everything settles down—until we both know what we want—”

“I want you,” he interrupted. 

You softly huffed, looking down at your lap as you slightly nodded before you looked up at him again. He had tears streaming down his face and more forming in his eyes; you loved that he wasn’t embarrassed or afraid to show his true emotions—he was being vulnerable every time he let his guard down, and for that, you would appreciate him forever. 

Muffled, static cracks followed by quiet little groans were heard from the baby monitor on the coffee table. Harry glanced at it before looking back at you, knowing he had to take care of his number one priority, and who were you to stop him? So, you nodded, tilting your head towards the room, and he sadly smiled before heading towards the nursery. 

You walked over to the kitchen counter, grabbed a pen and paper, and wrote ‘Meet me at Coava tomorrow. Usual time.’ before you placed it on the coffee table beside the monitor. As you were leaving, you heard soft humming coming from the baby monitor, and your heart squeezed, frowning as this was most likely going to be the last time you were going to be in this house. Taking one look around, you took in all of the memories that you made in the building that made you feel safe and warm before you stepped out, immediately welcomed by the cool temperatures of the evening. 

The next afternoon when you walked into Coava, Harry was already sitting at the usual table you two sat at. His head was down, mindlessly wiping down the condensation that formed outside of his glass. You took a seat in front of him without saying a word, making him look up. He had dark circles around eyes as he hadn’t gotten much sleep. 

“Hi,” you whispered. There was your usual cup of iced coffee placed in front of you. “Thank you for the coffee.” 

He nodded and smiled softly, despite his current mood. “Hello.” 

You took a deep breath. “So…where do we go from here?” 

Harry sadly looked at you with desperation in his eyes that spoke, no, begged you to tell him to stay, to tell him that you two could and would work this out. But it seemed like you hadn’t received that specific message from his green and sorrowful eyes. 

“You were right…We haven’t been able to make time for one another. So, we’ll just…take some time apart.” His heart and voice cracked at the end of his sentence, finding it hard to even form a sentence that didn’t absolutely break him. You nodded, agreeing, but it didn’t hurt any less; you knew this would be best for the two of you because both of you had to focus on yourselves, especially when Harry had his priorities, such as his family, which you weren’t going to make him change whatsoever. “Okay…so, we’re over.” He hadn’t said it as a question but rather a way to see that realization. 

You reached across the table, placing your hand on his, and you were lucky that he didn’t pull away. “Harry, this doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. I…will always love you.” 

“And I’ll always love you too,” he said honestly. 

Behind the civil and mature conversation that occurred, there was sadness and heartbreak. There were no more smiles or laughs, no more love and affection, or anymore meet-ups during lunch or coffee dates during breaks. The painful look on Harry’s face had only pained you even more, but you both knew this split-up and time apart was for the best. 

That was six months ago. 

Now, as you sat across Harry, you felt an overwhelming rush of relief and joy; he just looked happier and you saw a familiar glint in his eyes as he looked at you. It may not be the same sparkle of love as it once was, which you were afraid it wasn’t, but there was still some kind of sparkle—the kind someone would give when they reunite with an old friend. 

“The kids miss you—they miss you a lot.” 

Your eyes look at him fondly at the mention of his children. “Really?” 

“Yeah, they do. They said, and I quote, they miss their ‘pretty fairy second mom,’” Harry said quite proudly. 

Harry had three kids that you absolutely adored. There was Mira and Estelle, seven-year-old twins that looked like their father. Mira was very energetic and talkative—that little girl could talk for hours on end without missing a beat; Estelle was more quiet and reserved, but once you started hanging around, she opened up and was quite fun to have a laugh with. Then there was the sweet little two-year-old boy, Rory, who resembled his mother. He was always babbling and giggling, so happy and free. 

If Harry was being honest, Rory was a complete accident. Him and his ex had separated and broken up when the twins were four, but they were still seeing each other. Those occasional hangouts led to another child, which they both thought would help them bond, but six months into the pregnancy, they both knew it wasn’t right anymore—not like before. So, they stuck to coparenting and, if they were speaking the truth, it was much better than being together. 

When Rory was six months old, that was when Harry met you. On an unexpected literal run in the park when you and Harry were on your daily runs, the trail was only narrow and small enough for one person to run. So, when you and Harry were running towards each other, you braced yourself for the awkwardness you were about to face with the man. Harry politely smiled, moving to his left, only for you to move to your right, which made you both giggle. The two of you then moved to the opposite side, only to clash again. The thought was quite hilarious to the two of you, so you both started laughing, clutching your stomachs. Once you two calmed down, Harry then said that he was going to his left, so you moved to your left, running the opposite directions from each other. 

At the end of the trail and on your way to the parking lot, you saw Harry finish the same trail but exit from the other side. And if it said anything more, you parked right next to his car as well. Harry smiled, dimples flashing and asked you how your run was, which then led to a bit of small talk. In the six minutes you two were talking, Harry made the impulsive decision to ask you if you would like some coffee. He wouldn’t have asked if it were anyone else, and until that moment he didn’t even know  if he was ready to date again. But he took the chance and decided to ask you, and luckily, you said yes. 

The rest was history. 

“I miss them so much too.” You smiled softly, thinking about the kids that you had thought of as your own. 

“I, uh, I know it’s too much to ask, but I figured I should ask either way…Would you like to see them? Mira would never live it down if I told them that I saw you and didn’t ask if you wanted to see them.” He added a chuckle at the end, nerves creeping up his skin. 

Your eyes lit up. “Really? You’d let me see them?” 

Harry raised his brows. “Yeah, of course! You could see them anytime you want, if you’d like. Just because we’re not, y’know, together doesn’t mean that you can’t see them. I know how much you love them and how much they love you too,” he reassured. 

“Would Laurie be okay with that?” You asked about his ex and the mother of said children. 

He nodded. “Yeah, she would. I mean, she also knows how much they love you.” Harry was lucky that the mother of his children and his ex was so kind and chill with having someone that Harry loved be ‘another mother’ to her children; all Laurie really asked of you was to not try and replace her role as their mom and to always keep them safe when she wasn’t around, and who were you to disrespect her wishes? 

“Harry, I would love to, thank you. I really do miss them.” You felt yourself getting a bit emotional because of how much you missed the kids, and it’d felt like an eternity since you last saw them. 

“Great! Tomorrow is the weekend, so are you free to go to the park and maybe get some ice cream after?” 

“Yeah, that sounds like a plan.” You smiled, not too widely as you tried to contain your excitement. 

Harry smiled back at you before quickly looking at his phone to check the time. “I gotta get back. But I’ll see you tomorrow and will text you the details tonight.” 

“Okay, see you soon.” You stood up to hug him, and his arm immediately wrapped around your waist, hugging you to his chest. His stomach was doing flips as he felt your breath against the crook of his neck. He didn’t want the moment to end, and it was the most physical contact that you two had in six months. 

Pulling away, he offered you a smile before bidding you goodbye, and you finally let out the breath you had been holding the moment the bell chimed and the man you still loved walked in. 

A soft blush was planted on Harry’s cheeks for the entire day. He was driving from work to Laurie’s house to pick up his beloved children as he thought about how his day turned out to be. 

In all honesty, he hadn’t expected to see you in the coffee shop that you two had gone to throughout the entirety of your relationship. He had just gotten out of a meeting and was debating on going to Coava because he hadn’t been there since the day you two called it quits, but he figured it was time and thought that maybe reminiscing on the memories you two had with each other wasn’t a bad thing. So, he walked into that shop thinking he was just going to get a coffee to-go, but he had gone in there and left with something so much better. 

The moment his eyes landed on yours his mind had screamed and reassured him that he wasn’t just dreaming that you were standing right in front of him, he felt his stomach drop in the best way. The heat had rushed to his cheeks, tugging on the corners of his lips, urging his mouth to smile, and he did not hold back his joy when he saw you. You were beautiful, just like he remembered, but he had no doubt that there wasn’t a day that went by where you weren’t not absolutely stunning. 

And the giddy feeling he felt when he asked you if you’d like to see the kids made his heart tumble inside of his chest as he couldn’t wait for you and the kids to finally see each other again. 

Harry pulled into Laurie’s driveway, and he quickly got out and knocked on the door, waiting for Laurie to answer. He chuckled as he could practically hear the twins screaming from across the house to make sure they had everything they needed. When the door opened, he was met by his ex that he once loved, and still had some platonic love for her, naturally, as the mother of his children. 

“Hey, Harry! They’re just getting their stuff ready,” she greeted with a smile, opening the door wider as she walked away from the entrance and let him in. She grabbed Rory from the couch, who was mindlessly playing with a giant puzzle piece, and gave him many kisses to his cheeks before saying goodbye to her son and handing him off to Harry. 

Rory’s eyes lightened up at the sight of his father. “Dada!”

“Hi, my sweet boy. I’ve missed you.” He placed soft kisses to his chubby and squeezable cheeks. 

“Girls, dad’s waiting!” Laurie called out from the bottom of the stairway before turning back towards Harry. “Why do you look like that?” She gave him a knowing look. 

“Like what?” Harry asked, acting like he didn’t know what she was talking about. The blush really gave him away, he thought. 

“You’re just…extra happy today.” 

“Can’t I be happy, Laurie? To see my kids?” He teased, smirking as he hugged Rory to his chest. 

“I mean, sure, but…did something happen today?” 

His smile widened, and it was like he couldn’t contain the exciting feeling anymore and he just had to tell someone. “I saw Y/N today.” 

Her brows raised. “Really? How is she?” 

“She’s doing well, yeah. We talked for a little bit.” Was all that he told her. 

“And I’m assuming it went well.” He nodded, not wanting to tell her more. “Well, that’s great, Harry. She was, is, a lovely woman and she took care of the kids, so that’s all that matters to me,” Laurie said genuinely; she wasn’t jealous, if she was being honest. All that mattered to her was that her kids were in good hands. 

Suddenly more footsteps were coming down the stairs. “Dad!” The twins yelled at the same time. He put Rory down for a moment before he bent down to hug his two girls. 

“Hi, my loves. How are you?” He kissed both of their cheeks, making their small arms hug him tighter. 

“Dad, I scored one hundred percent on all my spelling tests, so I’m qualified for the spelling bee!” Mira explained excitedly once she let go of Harry. 

“Really?! That’s amazing, bug. This week, I’ll help you study for it.” Mira beamed at that before walking over to her mom to say bye. 

“How are you, my sunshine?” He directly asked Estelle, knowing that she was specifically waiting for Harry to have his attention on only her. Even though she’d never told him that, he could tell that sometimes Estelle lets Mira have her moment and wanted to speak with Harry when no one else was paying attention. 

“I’m good. My teacher told me I could become a math…mathmat—daddy, what are they called?” She looked at Harry for help. 

“Look at you, sunshine! I’m so proud of you my little mathematician.” Estelle’s eyes widened. “Is that you meant mathematician, sweetheart?” He smiled. 

“Yes, that! I did good on my math test and even baked cookies for you!” Before Harry could say anything, Estelle ran off to the kitchen to grab the plate of cookies she baked last night. 

“Alright, babies, let’s go. Say bye to mommy.” The kids said their goodbyes before Harry safely buckled them into their car seats and drove home for a week at their father’s. 

When all four of them reached the front door, Harry told the twins to put their belongings away and wash up for dinner. He set Rory down in his high chair before cutting up some bananas in halves, and placing them on the plastic table in front of him for his pre-dinner snack. Knowing that his kids liked home cooked meals better than takeout, fortunately, he set out the ingredients to make some fried rice, which was quick and easy. 

The twins rushed down the stairs once Harry put the leftover rice into the pan filled with sautéed veggies, and they settled onto the couch in front of the TV, waiting for dinner.

“Loves, set the table for me, please!” He called out from the kitchen as he transferred the rice from the pan to a large bowl, topping it with green onions. The girls each had a task for setting the table; Mira was in charge of forks and spoons, and Estelle handled the plates since she was less clums. He rolled Rory’s high chair over to the table, which he was so lucky to have gotten a high chair with wheels because it was so much easier to move him without carrying him and the chair; and he gave everyone an equal scoop, depending on how much they ate, and if they wanted seconds, he would be glad to serve them more. 

As they ate, Harry was occasionally helping Rory eat the rice, just picking up the contents that didn’t make it into his mouth, as Estelle and Mira both took turns talking. Harry loved family dinner, he tried his very best to give all three of his children the attention that they deserved, but dinner was the one time they bonded the most because no one felt competitive or had the urge to start an argument when there was food in front of them. 

“Daddy, how was your day?” Estelle asked curiously, and Harry smiled at his sunshine, as if she was the sun itself, heart swooning. 

“It was great, thanks for asking, my love.” He placed his spoon on his plate. “I actually wanted to talk to you all about something.” The twins didn’t respond, just stared at him, encouraging him to continue. “Do you remember Y/N?” Just at the sound of your name, the crowd went absolutely wild. 

“Y/N, yes!” Screamed Estelle, which was rare for her to raise her voice. 

“Pretty, fairy second mom, of course we remember her, dad!” Mira exclaimed obviously. 

“Fairy!” Rory had repeated the only word he could make out from Mira’s mouth as he fussed because of the volume that had increased from his sisters. 

Harry laughed. “Alright, okay, settle down. Well, I saw her today.” The twins gasped, making him chuckle. It genuinely felt like he was on a talk show with a live audience. “And I wanted to ask you all if you wanted to see her tomorrow? Figured we could go to the park and get some ice cream together?” He asked hesitantly, even though he knew they’d say yes, and he’d get another chance to see you again. 

“Yes!” The girls both answered. 

Harry beamed, turning to Rory. “Bubba, remember Y/N? Your slide friend? Remember you used to go on the slide with Y/N?” Rory giggled, a sound that was Harry’s weakness, and nodded. “Do you wanna see her tomorrow?” 

“Slide with fairy?” Rory asked, and Harry laughed. 

“Yes, slide with fairy,” he confirmed, and Rory nodded his head eagerly. 

Harry smiled, glad his kids were with the plans tomorrow. The rest of the dinner was filled with the twins talking about you; they talked about what you all could do together at the park and what they wanted to show you, and Harry would be lucky if they slept through the entire night without continuously waking up because of their excitement for the upcoming afternoon. 

Once everything was cleaned up and put away, the twins washed and cleaned, Harry give Rory a bath, and everyone was ready for bed, Harry said good night to his babies, spending about five minutes cuddling and talking them to sleep until they fluttered their eyes closed and off to slumber. 

Sighing, Harry closed his door, leaving the baby monitor from Rory’s room on his bedside table before he was able to unwind for the day. He always spent an extra amount of time on his skin care routine, figuring that he sometimes didn’t have time for himself and the only time he had was during nights. 

When he was ready for bed, he felt a huge amount of relief to be getting into bed after a long but grateful day, and he picked up his phone and clicked on your message thread. The last time you two texted was a few weeks after the breakup, asking if you were doing okay, and he could practically feel the awkward tension through the texts as he reread them. But he was glad that this time would be a much lighter and better conversation. 

Hi, Y/N. Hope this is the right number still. But if it is, kids are on board for tomorrow. Does 12:30 work for you? We could meet at the usual park. If it’s not Y/N, please don’t meet at the usual park because the kids are not on board. 

You chuckled at the end of his text, happy to see that Harry is always trying to make jokes and be the comedian. 

Hi, Harry! Don’t worry, this is Y/N. Probably would have hunted the person with my number down to get tomorrow’s plans. But that sounds perfect! I can't wait to see the kids tomorrow. See you then! 

Harry softly smiled at his phone, not feeling the need to respond and figured he would talk to you a lot more tomorrow while the kids are playing. He stared at the message for quite some time, completely blank as he couldn’t believe the chances that he happened to see you at the shop six months after the breakup, and now he’s making plans with you tomorrow; his jaw was aching from smiling so much. 

A few minutes later, he put his phone away to change before he comfortably situated himself under the blanket, feeling the heaviness of his eyes. But once he felt himself starting to drift away into dreamland, his phone buzzed on his nightstand, and he tried his best to ignore it, but curiosity got the best of him, so he picked up his phone and opened the new message. 

And I can’t wait to see you tomorrow too.  

And just like that, Harry was wide awake, struggling to sleep, but a smile permanently etched on his face for the night. 

The day that everyone in the Styles’ household had been waiting for had finally arrived. Luckily, the kids had gotten their needed hours of sleep; Harry had only gotten a few hours of sleep, but when the sun seeped through his curtains, he didn’t dread getting up for the day. Instead, he felt a rush of eagerness, instantly remembering what the day held for him and his kids, and he jumped right out of bed. 

Once the four of them were out of the house, Harry had successfully fed, cleaned, and changed his children with no complaints. The house and car ride was filled with conversations about how excited they were to see you again, asking how many more hours there was until they got to see you and if they were almost at the park. 

Screams bounced off the roof of the car once Harry parked on the side of the curb; the twins had already taken their seatbelts off, getting antsy as they waited for their dad to open the car from the outside. Harry unbuckled Rory, carrying him until he rounded on the other side of the car to open the door for the twins. They quickly jumped out, clearly excited, but Harry did not forget to remind them that this was still a public area and anything could happen. 

“Girls, slow down, please.” Estelle was holding Harry’s hand as Mira was holding her sister’s; Harry was still carrying Rory in his arms because his sister’s were practically lugging Harry with all their might, trying to get to their usual spot, so he didn’t want Rory to get hurt. “Loves, you know Y/N would tell you the exact same thing. Please, just slow down for me.” He pulled the Y/N card on them, knowing that they were better listeners with you than they are with him. 

Once they were all close enough, they spotted a thick beige blanket under the tree with a picnic basket, and you sitting on top of it, setting everything up. 

“Y/N!” The girls both screamed, Estelle letting go of Harry’s hand as they both ran towards you. 

You looked up at the sound of your name, eyes brightening at the little girls running. “My Princesses! Hi, my loves!” You opened your arms widely, inviting the twins into your arms— they practically collided into your arms, making you fall onto your back since you didn’t get the chance to stand up—and embracing them with a big hug. Laughs came out of all of your mouths as wide smiles permanently stayed on your faces. “Oh, I missed you two so much!” You kissed both of their cheeks, making them giggle. You stood up, helping the girls up and brushed their clothes off with your hand from the grass. Harry and Rory were in sight, and Harry put the little boy down, making Rory run towards you. “My sweetheart, oh, you’ve gotten so big.” You hugged Rory to your chest, placing your hand behind his head as your other arm wrapped around his small body. 

You were glad that Rory still had some memory of you, and didn’t shy away behind his father’s leg. You placed soft kisses on his cheeks, taking in his baby scent that you always loved. 

After Rory was starting to fuss in your arms, most likely due to feeling overwhelmed from the lack of space, you let go of him before standing up. 

“Hi, Y/N,” Harry greeted, offering a hug, which you gladly took. 

You rubbed his back. “Hi, Harry. I’m so glad I’m here with you all.” You pulled away, smiling at him. Harry’s heart pounded against his chest at the sight of you smiling up at him. His heart did a backflip at the sight of your gorgeous smile, trickling all the way down to his stomach where it triggered the butterflies to release from the net. 

“Please, we were all really excited to see you. So, thank you for agreeing.” His hand innocently ran down your arm, sending shivers down your spine. 

You turned around to look at the kids who were making themselves comfortable on the blanket. You and Harry joined them as you sat in between Estelle and Rory, and Harry sat in between Mira and Rory. 

“Okay, so I made some sandwiches. You all still like grilled cheese, right?” You hoped, and the twins nodded; you turned towards Rory. “What about you, sweet pea? Grilled cheese?” At the sound of cheese, Rory nodded his head and clapped his hands, making you smile. 

Harry was so lost in his mind and heart that he was simply so distracted in helping you out as you unwrapped the sandwiches from the foil, putting them on a paper plate. He was just so fond of watching you interact with his children so naturally, like there was no time that was wasted when you and Harry were apart. And he was especially happy that the kids still loved you just as much as they did when you two were together; and how they still kept talking about you despite the breakup. 

Aside from you and Harry, the kids had taken the breakup the hardest. From the knowledge they had based on what Harry and Laurie told them, they understood that their mommy and daddy couldn’t be together anymore due to adult reasons; it took them a while to adjust to that, but they eventually managed and figured it was better and more fun. But when Harry had to break the news on why they wouldn’t be seeing their ‘Pretty Fairy Second Mom’ anymore, they took it harder than expected. They simply looked at it as you didn’t want to see them anymore, which wasn’t the case at all, Harry explained. 

“Sometimes adults need to take some time apart, loves. That does not mean that Y/N doesn’t love you anymore because she does very much, I can tell you that. But it's good to have some time to yourself, especially in a relationship.” 

“But daddy, I thought you were gonna be together forever with Y/N,” Estelle spoke up, tears in her eyes. He was lucky that his kids loved you so much, and he never doubted that they weren’t going to. But his fear had come true when you two called it quits and he had to tell them the truth. 

“And maybe we will, but as for right now, it’s best to be apart. Sometimes being apart saves the relationship rather than letting it burn,” he told them honestly, which was the best as he could explain it. 

“D-Does Y/N still love you?” Mira asked softly. It wasn’t like Mira to be so soft spoken, which meant that the breakup had affected her deeply. 

Harry sighed, grabbing both of their small hands. “She does,” he replied for the sake of more tears coming out of their eyes—plus, he was taking your word for it back at the cafe. “And she also loves you all so much too,” he reminded them again. What he really wanted to say was that maybe one day you two will get back together, but he really didn’t want to get their hopes up. 

Looking back on his conversation from half a year ago, he was glad that he told them the truth on why you two broke up. He didn’t want to confuse his children even further, making them completely oblivious to the situation—he just wanted to be honest with them because he hoped you two would meet again and get back together at some point. 

“Harry, would you like one?” You asked, bringing Harry back out of his thoughts. He smiled, nodding, not trusting his voice to speak; and you gladly handed him a plate with a sandwich, pouring some chips onto the side—his favorite chips, you still remembered. 

“Thank you.” He smiled softly. The corners of your lips turned up as you bashfully looked at the picnic basket in front of you. You placed Rory’s plate in front of him as he seemed to have crawled to sit closer to you, and you cut out his sandwich into small pieces, along with cutting his grapes in half. “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” He stopped you from what you were doing, ready to take Rory from your side as he didn’t want you to feel obligated to take care of him.

“Oh, if you don’t want me to, that’s fine. But I wouldn’t mind feeding him a bit.” 

“If you want to.” 

You gave him the sweetest grin, and Harry was lucky to be sitting down because his knees would give out on him if he were standing. “I want to.” He only nodded, a crimson color laid on his cheeks. 

Harry comfortably watched as you made conversation with the twins as you fed Rory. You always gave them your undivided attention; your expression always lit up everytime they talked about something they were passionate about or interested in, and it just made Harry fall even more with how you were always so supportive in what his kids loved. You were always uplifting them, never dragging their hopes and dreams down. 

After everyone was finished with their meals and had time to digest their food, the twins asked if they could go on the swings and Harry said yes. The tree that they were under was only a few feet away, so Harry had a clear view of his girls. 

“You’re, like, a magician.” Harry suddenly said, breaking the silence once the girls were safely on the swing. 

You chuckled. “How’s that?” 

“It’s like hiring a magician at a party—everyone is so excited to see what they do and see them in general—you’re like that; the girls and Rory were so excited to see you.” 

You playfully gasped, holding Rory to your chest. “You were excited to see me? Well, I was excited to see you!” You booped his nose, making Rory giggle. 

“Fairy!” He exclaimed, and you and Harry laughed. Rory was a quiet two-year-old, but he picked up on keywords that he repeatedly said. 

“So, are you seeing anyone?” You cut to the chase, skipping the small talk.

Harry chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “Nope. Not entirely sure if anyone wants to date a thirty-four-year-old with three kids.” 

You raised your brows in shock, and he knew that look you’re giving him very well—prepared to tease him; even though you weren’t that much younger than him either. “What? Do you think no one wants to date a hot dad? Harry, you’re peak-dilf, everyone wants to date you.” 

“And what about you? Do you wanna date me? A dilf?” He teased; a smirk that you knew all too well appeared on his face, making you want to kiss it off, which was what you used to do. 

Pursing your lips and cheeks heating up, you gave him an obvious look before you said, “Think you know the answer to that one, baby.” In all honesty, the pet name had slipped, and for a brief moment your eyes widened at the realization, but you brushed it off and continued with your confident and teasing attitude; and it worked quite well on Harry because he definitely heard what you used to call him loud and clear. It made his heart flutter as he missed you calling him that; he never wanted to hear that name come out of anyone else’s mouth because only yours would do it justice. 

Harry was left to ponder about your response before you changed the subject, talking to Rory. “Sweets, do you wanna go on the slide?” The little boy jumped up and down, pulling your arm as he had a big smile on his face. You looked at Harry, and he gave you a nod, telling you that he would stay put and watch your belongings. 

You and Rory walked hand in hand, or more like hand and finger, to the slide. It was an open purple slide with two sides, and it lasted about two seconds if you slid correctly and if the slide was slippery enough. You helped Rory step onto the playground as the dull metal steps were quite high for him to reach on his own before you guided him towards the slide. 

Sitting down at the top and on the edge of the slide, you carried Rory into your lap, hyping him up for what he had been waiting for. “Ready, sweets? Are you ready?” Your tone was pure excitement as you squeezed and tickled his belly. 

“Go, Y/N, go!” Directed Rory, and you scooted forward and held onto the sweet boy in your arms tightly as you two slid down the slide. Mouthfuls of squealing screams and giggles came from Rory’s mouth as he clapped his hands towards the end of the slide, causing you to cheer as well. 

And the proper dad that he was, Harry clicked the red button on the screen to stop recording you and Rory from the slide. He zoomed in, capturing the bright smiles placed on his sweet boy’s and the love of his life’s face, screenshotting the perfect frame. He didn’t think the day could have gone any better than this; it was quite the perfect day, he thought. 

When it was rounding two in the afternoon, Rory’s eyes were starting to droop, exhaustion taking over him from running around for almost an hour that his little body couldn’t keep up, so a nap was in his favor. He lazily looked up at you, reaching his arms up for you to carry him, which you happily held him. He settled his head on your shoulder, and it only took a few kisses and back rubs for him to be out like a light while the sun still shined in his face. 

You walked over to the blanket, figuring it was time to call it a day at the park; Harry and the twins were running around nearby on the bedded grass area playing tag. They retreated to the blanket once they saw you with Rory in your arms, breaths heavy from their run. 

“Oh, my sweet, sweet boy.” Harry sighed when he got to spot under the tree; you handed Rory to him, admiring the two boys cuddling as Harry pressed quiet and soft kisses to his son’s head. Since your lap was available, Estelle and Mira took the chance to finally be able to properly cuddle you since Rory was taking most of your attention. The girls took one leg each, and you wrapped your arms around their waist, kissing their shoulder. 

The five of you stayed put for a while, calming down under the breezy weather that had started to pick up until it got even colder was when Harry decided it was time to leave. Luckily the girls were still awake to help with cleaning up, and were rather helpful because Harry was trying his best with Rory situated on one side of his body. 

Once all of you were next to your cars, Harry placed Rory in his car seat as you were hugging the girls goodbye. You and Harry agreed that everyone was too tired to go out for some ice cream since all the twins wanted to do was lie down. Harry knew he didn’t want the day to end, even though it was still quite early, but the older he got, the tougher it was to keep up with his little children who just loved running around; a relaxing and peaceful night was calling him. 

“Hey.” Harry closed the passenger door before he rounded the car to meet you on the grass. “I know we talked about going for ice cream today, but it seemed like we’re all too tired, but I was wondering…” he paused for a moment, a bit of hesitancy in his voice. “Would you like to come over? Maybe…for dinner, or to have a glass or w-water?” He scratched the back of his neck, nerves getting the best of him. 

You smiled, thinking he was the absolute cutest when he was flustered. “Harry, I’d love to. Feels like I haven’t drank any water so I’m parched,” you teased. 

He breathed out a laugh. “Okay, uh, I’ll see you home.” He gave you another smile before walking away and inside of his car, completely unaware of his choice of words. 

Home. More specifically, Harry’s home. It was a place that made you feel safe, and if you’re being honest, it’s been too long since you’d had complete solace. 

Your mental pep-talk throughout the drive toward Harry’s had helped in some way. Keeping it simple without driving your mind into overthinking every single thought, you laid it all down as if you were planning and preparing a business proposal. 

You didn’t want to dive deep into what Harry’s invitation could entail—more like you didn’t want to get your hopes up on if you two were to get back together because the potential rejection you could face would absolutely crush you. Harry’s a kind and sweet guy, he’s simply inviting a friend over for a drink and dinner, if you could even call yourself that. Plus, it was still early to fully call it a day, and he planned for ice cream after the park, so he was fulfilling that promise of sweet dessert. 

Without realizing, you’d been sitting in your car for a solid five minutes, staring over your steering wheel as you were parked on the curb in front of Harry’s house. Harry’s car was already in the driveway, so they were just waiting on you. 

You walked towards the front door, and it swung open before you even got the chance to knock. 

“Hey, thought you’d change your mind when you weren’t getting out of the car,” Harry joked, although that thought really crossed his mind when he peeked out through the window and saw you still in your car. 

You chuckled nervously. “Oh, no. I wouldn’t.” You stepped inside his house, and a wave of nostalgia rushed through you as if you were at the beach and the harsh current knocked you over as you were trying to walk against the sandy wind. 

Everything still looked the same—the same since the night you left without another word to the kids, just a note to Harry telling you to meet at the shop. A pinch of guilt appeared in your face as you frowned, and Harry immediately took notice, but you waved it off as you slightly smiled, telling him that you two would talk later. He didn’t press any further, waiting until later or when you were ready. Instead, he asked if you wanted anything to drink, to which he already knew you’d go for a class of Cabernet, and luckily, he had some in stock—more like, he still had the untouched bottle for when you stayed over. 

The two of you leaned against the cold granite counter as music softly played on the speaker that was connected through Bluetooth on his phone. Conversations were light, but it wasn’t awkward in any sense. As a matter of fact, it felt just like old times when you would stay over his house, talking about each other’s day and simply enjoying the presence of one another. That’s what you think this was, you thought—enjoying the fact that Harry was in front of you after so many months and you were cherishing it until the next set of months went by. 

After a few conversations and sips of wine later, the time had gone by fairly fast, which always happened when you were with him, and it was nearing five. The kids had woken up from their nap at four and quietly settled in the living room—the twins on the couch in front of the television and Rory was on the padded mat playing with his toys, occasionally talking to his sisters. Harry asked if you would be okay watching them so he could make dinner, and you were close to reminding him that he didn’t need to ask to watch his kids, but then again, you had to remind yourself that things were a bit different now. So, you said that you didn’t mind and walked over to the sofa chair next to the couch and watched TV with the girls as well as play with Rory. 

Twenty-five minutes had gone by and Harry called everyone, announcing that dinner was ready. You all walked into the dining room, taking your seats. Your assigned seat was next to Rory’s chair, which was in between you and Harry; the girls were sitting across from you. Once everyone took several bites of Harry’s dinner--a quick fettuccine alfredo--the chatter was back. You enthusiastically listened to the girls and Rory talk; it made Harry smile, loving how natural everything felt. 

Estelle tapped Harry’s shoulder, making him turn towards her with a smile on his face. “What is it, sunshine?” She got off her chair, leaning over to whisper something into his ear and he smiled, turning back to his family who was curious as to what Estelle had said. “Go ahead and ask her, love.” 

You put down your fork and placed your arms on the table. “What’s up, Princess?” 

“Uh, c-can we go to that place?” 

“What place is that?” You asked curiously. 

“That place where you told Daddy you loved him,” she responded quite bashfully. Your mouth was slightly open, not expecting her to say what she did. Looking over at Harry, he simply had a soft smile on his face with his brows raised, shrugging his shoulders.

Did you want to go back there? The answer was a simple yes. There wasn’t any excuse that you could possibly make up on the spot as to why you couldn’t go there, and it wasn’t necessarily a bad place whenever you thought about it. In fact, you really missed going over there and you would be lying if you said that you didn’t think about that place often. 

Your head turned towards Estelle. “Sure, why not. How about we go tomorrow?” You asked everyone, and they all had smiles on their faces. You looked at Harry, directly asking him for permission. “Is that okay?” His elbow was resting against the arm of the brown chair, fingers placed under his lips as he slightly puckered his soft and pink lips; without looking under the table, you knew his legs were crossed. Harry smiled, nodding his head, and everyone cheered. 

The rest of the time everyone was sitting at the dinner table, you all talked about plans for tomorrow, and everyone was really excited. Once it was almost eight, Harry realized that it was almost their bedtime, so he hurried them up the stairs to get ready for bed before saying goodnight to you, getting in as many hugs and kisses as they could get. 

Harry was upstairs, changing Rory and putting him to bed before he walked down and found you in the kitchen washing dishes. He slipped past you, placing his hand along your lower back briefly before he grabbed the dish rag. The action sent a chill down your spine and you immediately missed his hands on you. 

“The kids seem really excited about tomorrow.” Harry broke the silence, glancing over at you as you continued to wash the dishes. 

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m really excited too.” 

Harry noticed the slight shortness, and he thought it may be because you were tired. “Hey, are you okay?” 

You turned off the water and faced him, crossing your arms as he did the same. 

“Do the kids hate me?” The corner of his lips turned up before he started laughing, clutching his stomach. If it were any other time, you would obsess over his laugh; it was music to your ears, the highlight of your day, and the sun when it’s bright out. You softly slapped his arm. “Harry! I’m being serious!” 

“Darling, you’re joking, right?” Your heart briefly fluttered at his nickname for you. “Those kids love you!” He noticed your change of attitude and that you’d been thinking about this for a while and beating yourself up over it. 

“It’s just…I don’t want them to think that we broke up and I forgot about them. I mean I understand if they see it that way because I left without saying another word for six months--didn’t even get to say goodbye to them and have a proper talk. I just don’t want them to hate me.” You looked down at your feet as you played with the thin silver band on your middle finger.  

Harry’s seen you in work mode, and it reeks confidence and power. You don’t need much reassurance during work unless it’s when your employees tell you that progress is moving along. But this was completely different; you needed all the reassurance that you could get to get it through your head that the kids that you’d come to love--from the moment you met them--don’t hate you. And Harry didn’t mind telling you over and over again. 

“They were just that we split up, that’s all. But they quickly understood why.” 

“What’d you tell them?” You asked curiously. 

“The truth--that sometimes it’s better to be apart for a while rather than drive ourselves crazy. Told them that when the time is right, then maybe we’ll get back together.” The look in his eyes was so comforting that you immediately fell into them. Harry was always the best with giving you that extra reassurance that you and his kids need. 

You felt the extra beat in your chest that pumped so harshly against your chest, but it was surrounded by butterflies, making it flutter throughout your body. As you looked so deeply into Harry’s beautiful green eyes, you realized one of two things; the first thing was that you never wanted to look so deeply into another person’s eyes unless it was Harry’s; and the second thing was that you were incredibly and overwhelmingly still in love with this man and his three children, and there hadn’t been a day that gone by where you weren’t. 

Taking a deep breath, itches were crawling up your skin, begging you to say something. “D-Do you think it’s time?” Your voice asked shyly. 

Harry was taken back by your question as he raised his brows. He couldn’t deny the nerves that he felt whenever he was around you, but your question seemed to have increased his nervousness. 

“We’ve been separated for what feels like a long time now.” He paused, taking a deep breath as he recouped his thoughts to say the right words. “I think-”

“Daddy?” Yours and Harry’s head whipped towards the staircase, finding Estelle at the bottom of it with groggy eyes. 

Harry walked towards his sunshine. “What is it, my love?” He kneeled down onto the bottom step, matching her height. Estelle told him that she couldn’t sleep, and that she’s been tossing and turning for a while, so Harry told her that he would lay with her until she fell asleep and carried her to her bedroom. He looked back at you as he was walking up the steps, and you gave him a soft smile, letting him know that it was completely okay. 

You finished tidying up the kitchen, wiping down the counters and cleaning the dining table until you realized that you needed to get ready for tomorrow’s adventure. 

Once Harry came down the stairs, he found you sitting on the edge of the armchair with your purse on your shoulder; you looked up as he walked up to you. 

“I’m gonna head out.” 

Harry’s slightly frowned. “Oh, you can stay the night if you want to.” 

“No, it’s okay, thanks.” You really did want to stay the night, but you didn’t have a change of clothes for tomorrow. “I’ll be here tomorrow morning.” He nodded, walking you to the door, opening it for you. 

You stepped out on his doorstep, turning around as you wrapped your arm around his waist, tiptoeing to plant a kiss to his cheek. The slightest bit of touch from your lips sent Harry’s skin on fire, warming up to the affection. The touch was sent away too quickly as you let go of him completely, giving him one last smile before walking to your car and waving at him as you drove away. 

Harry closed the door, the palm of his hand cupped the cheek that you kissed and he sighed as if he was shot with Cupid’s love-arrow, and he wouldn’t mind it if it meant he would feel your affection every single day. 

You arrived at the Styles household at ten in the morning with a tote-full of snacks and water, knowing the kids would get hungry from all the walking. You got there forty-five minutes earlier than planned, knowing that the Styles family wouldn’t be out the door right on time because Harry has three kids, two of them who bicker and complain from time to time—especially when they’re sleepy—and a two-year-old who was starting to run away from everything. So, you figured Harry would appreciate your help. 

When Harry saw you standing on his doorstep, he let out a sigh of relief. He was still in his striped pajamas pants and a white t-shirt, holding a small pair of olive green pants. You walked in and saw Rory running around half naked, despite it being early in the morning. You told Harry that he could shower and get ready for the day, and to leave it to you because you’ll handle it—plus, you both knew that the kids often listened to you more than their own dad. He smiled appreciatively, kissing your head briefly before walking up the stairs and getting ready. 

Once Rory saw you, he stopped running around the house and instead, ran towards you and into your arms. You carried him up the stairs and to his room to get some clothes on him, and luckily, Harry was able to bathe him before you showed up. You gave him his favorite toy to fumble with before you walked into Mira's room, setting Rory on her twin bed before helping her get ready. You left Rory in Mira’s room and went to Estelle’s bedroom, doing the same. 

By the time Harry walked downstairs, you and the three kids were sitting on the couch, eating a banana. He smiled, slowing his steps as he was amazed at the quietness and stillness in the house, but then again, he wasn’t that amazed because he knew you’d come in and get things in order. 

Harry’s home was a two minute walk to the train station, and everyone decided to take the train since it was what you and Harry did when you two were dating, and the kids really wanted to walk through the entire path of their father’s love story. 

Luckily, there weren’t that many people on the train—it was practically empty—so they didn’t have to rush to get a spot for the kids. Rory sat in the middle of his sisters as they all smiled brightly towards Harry’s phone that was capturing the adorable children for a sweet memory sake. You and Harry were standing, making sure neither of the kids fell over if the train made a halting stop. You held onto the metal bar above you, Harry held the bar that was mounted into the floor, and you both watched the kids interact with one another—counting on their fingers, booping one another’s noses, and laughing; it was every parent’s dream. 

Without noticing, Harry moved closer to you, placing his hand directly next to yours; the side of your hand touched his, and you looked at him with wide eyes while your heart fluttered. You were hip to hip, and you saw the smirk he had on his face while occasionally glancing over at you. You couldn’t help the heat that rose onto your cheeks because it felt like old times when you two used to ride the train together and it would get too packed to where you had to stand up; he would always face you as your hands touched—sometimes he would even intertwine your fingers together while you two held the bar as you were one—and he would hover over you, giving you plentiful kisses like the true romantic that he was. 

The train ride took about 30 minutes and it was a two minute walk to the place that gave you so many happy memories and nostalgia—International Rose Test Garden was where the memories of you and Harry were stored. 

You had the girls on either side of you, holding their hands; and Harry carried Rory since he was likely to run around and Harry didn’t want to risk his safety. 

The sun was bright—beautiful for a day in the garden as the roses and flowers bloomed ever so widely. All of you walked the rows and rows of flowers, occasionally taking pictures in front of the rose bushes.

Remembering all the times you and Harry were hand in hand, laughing until your stomachs were sore, like you did an intense ab workout, and there were tears resting in the outer corner of your eyes. All the memories that were swirling around in your head made you come to the conclusion to one thing: you never want to be without Harry and his kids ever again. 

You don’t know how it took you so long to realize this, maybe it was seeing them for the first time in six months that you realized that you had it great—a small family that accepted you and loved you for who you were, and you loved them just the same. 

Harry walked beside you, the kids skipping and playing around in the grass in front of you two. Confidently, you slipped your hand into Harry’s ringed hand, immediately intertwining your fingers together as if your hand knew what it was missing. Harry briefly looked down before looking at you. He smiled, and turned his head back towards the kids, not making a big deal of it as his warm hand accepted the coldness of yours. 

You gently tugged against his arm, pulling him back as he came face to face with you; a quiet gasp came out of his mouth when doing so. You looked up at him with bright eyes, and Harry was taken back to a year and a half ago where you, coincidentally, were in this same spot on the very green patch of grass. 

“Harry…” you breathed out, looking down at your feet nervously. He made the bold move to step closer to you, chests almost touching. Harry lifted your chin up with his fingers, locking eyes with you so intently that you practically lost your breath. 

“What is it?” He whispered. 

Taking a deep breath, you said, “I-I realized something.” 

“Yeah? What’s that?” 

Glancing over at the kids, they were giving you big smiles and thumbs up for reassurance, and your heart swooned at their support and love they provided you to finally get back together with their father, even if you weren’t their biological mother. 

You looked back at Harry, who was waiting patiently. “I love you. I still do and never stopped.” Harry felt like he stopped breathing at that moment. “You make me so happy—you and the kids, and I don’t want to be without you all anymore. I-I don’t like how it’s only taken me this much time to tell you this, but it felt like the perfect time since this was the place where I first told you I loved you.” 

Harry smiled, taking your hands into his. His thumbs smoothed your skin on the back of your hand before he brought them up to his lips and kissed them so delicately. The action made you smile softly before your mind had switched it to thinking that it was affection before the rejection. 

But then he opened his mouth to speak such beautiful words that you had been aching to hear during the breakup. 

“You’re my everything. I truly don’t know what I’d do without you because you. You’re part of my source of happiness, and life didn’t feel the same without you—the kids could agree with me on that.” He chuckled, looking at them to find them holding hands and jumping around in circles. “But I know that we separated for the better only for us to come back stronger than ever, and I’m never gonna let go of you again, okay?” 

Tears pricked your eyes before they streamed down your cheeks. Your heart felt like it was pounding harder than ever, but it was filled with so much love from and for this man in front of you. 

Harry wiped away your tears, leaning in to kiss your forehead, down to your eyelids as he kissed your tears away. He pulled away and you opened your eyes, giving each other a relieved and happy smile. 

“I love you,” he said, and he swore he saw the brightest smile he’s ever seen—brighter than the sun. “Always have and always will.” 

“And I love you. C-Can you kiss me, please?” 

Harry grinned. “It would be an honor.” 

Placing his palms on the side of your face, he leaned his forehead against yours. Your hands were wrapped around his wrists, rubbing his skin softly. With a smile, he kissed you with such softness and passion that the flowers bloomed largely and the sun shined ever so brightly. The kids cheered and clapped, making bystanders think that you’d just gotten engaged, but you both knew that would be the next step. Your stomach was in knots, butterflies surrounding your body as he captured your lips with his. Hugging Harry’s waist, you pulled him closer and wrapped your arms around him, and he kissed you harder, effortlessly moving his lips in sync with yours as if he was a pro on kissing you, which he was. 

Harry pulled away first, giving you several pecks before opening his eyes. “God, I missed doing that. Missed you so much, darling.” 

“I missed you too, baby.” You were high on happiness, high on love. “I’m sorry it took us this long.” A slight frown appeared on your face, but Harry kissed it away. 

“Hey, hey. None of that. I would’ve loved you until the end of time. I don’t care how long it took, you’re my forever,” he vowed, not planning to break that promise. 

Missing his lips on yours, you leaned up to kiss him again while your arms were wrapped around his neck and his were around your waist, holding you tightly as if he was afraid you’d run off. 

Suddenly, you started giggling into the kiss, making Harry smile before he pulled away. 

“What’s so funny?” He asked. You started thinking about the conversation from the park when you asked him if he was seeing someone. 

You curled in your lips before you said, “You’re a literal dilf, and I’m so in love with you.” 

please tell me all of your thoughts, feelings, favorite moments and scenes! thank you for reading <3

[simluvbot]

Enhypen as dates they would take you on <3

tags: gn!reader, established relationship au, fluff, bf! enha

members: all members !!

wc: 400-800ish for each member ?? this is very long uh I’m sorry I got carried away

a/n: hi, welcome to my first piece of writing on this blog 😁😁 I tried to write so that these matched the members and their personalities the most! Also as this is my first post any interaction is so cherished 🥺 but anyways,, I hope you enjoy :D

open to read

Heeseung

he would take you to so many fun places!!

Your dates would consist of going bowling together, theme parks, a walk in the park — you can count on having a fun time with heeseung!

He would just want to impress you );

He’s be always so attentive to you and remember even the littlest of details about you

You’d be in a shop together looking around and he’ll tap your shoulder, showing you a lace shirt that you instantly fall in love with

It’s just your style!

You’d ask him how he knew you would like it, to which he would simply mumble  with, “you told me a few months ago that you like shirts like this.”

You’d just stand in shock like :ooo

Not even you remember telling him that ):

Please he loves you so much, if it’s something that you tell him you like or don’t like, he’ll immediately store it in his memory! He wants to know so much more about you 🥺

Your dates are definitely what you look forward to whenever you see him!!

As much as you love fun day outs with him, you also love your chiller night dates at him <3

Meeting each other late at night after practice? A must!! No way can you let your hee go home alone when he’s the last leaving the practice room after a long day ):<

You would often surprise him by showing up at belift at ungodly hours, and as much as he would scold you with a light frown for coming to see him when it’s already half past midnight,,

You still always catch that small little smile he has whenever you do surprise him hehe

to be aware of just the fact that youre there? is enough for him. you ground him and its especially those spontaneous dates youll throw upon him and inevitably show him without the words uttered that you care for him and you love him? 

those are secretley his fave (: but he doesnt have to tell you that - youve already guessed :D

But at the same time on those late night after-practice dates he just wants to make sure that you’re not staying up too late all the time just to make sure he’s doing okay after practice, his y/nnie needs their sleep too ):

And what you’ll do together? Eat ramen of course!!

Although these little late night dates with him usually dont last no longer than an hour, he still treasures them so dearly in his heart ):

Hee sometimes needs a lot of love and assurance, even if he doesn’t mention it

And you’re the best at making him feel better instantly 🥺

but we seriously cant forget about your daytime dates too! each date of yours is always filled with so so many jokes and giggles that your hearts burn with longing for the other whenever you part ways ):

i can see that he’ll even store the memory of your dates even weeks after they’ve happened - he’ll store those memories of you; all in his heart (and the polaroid he took of you in the back of his phonecase 😳) and tucked close.

Jake

as for dates, to me he seems the type to be into really spontaneous and random things!! He’d love going somewhere fun or just simply randomly travelling with you without a destination!

He especially loves to sneak out of the dorm late at night and meet you at you and his favourite park.

It’s located at the top of a really tall hill, and you’ll both spend hours sitting on the swings, chatting away with little care for the rest of the world or the time as you both simply giggle at each other’s jokes and contentedly talk about anything and everything; watching the city lights glow from hundreds of metres below you

He’d offer you his jacket when the temperature drops by a few degrees suddenly

You’d be like no!! It’s okay you should also stay warm, I’m okay 🥺

But then because he is such a sweetheart he’d huff and sit next to you on the swing, making the single-seater far too cramped as he tries to supply you with his body heat if that’s the only way that you’ll accept not freezing to death 😠

But then you’ll both slip due to there not being enough space for both of you on the wing, and your both fall flat down on your butts lmao

You’d both freeze, staring at each other blankly on the floor

but then you’d both crack up and laugh for the longest time — hushing each other in-between giggles from the fear of maybe you were being a bit too loud and could wake some people up?

But then you’d both fall into giggling messes once again as you blame each other for causing the other to fall down ):

You’d eventually sit together huddled on a bench, sitting in silence and simply staring out at seoul’s twinkling night lights as you share his leather jacket: heavy and warm as it drapes across you and his’ shoulders

But eventually you’d both finally head home! — your eyelids soon growing too heavy and both of you afraid of accidentally falling asleep at a park at 1am lmfao

idk why but i can just see a lot of late-night dates with jake,, such as

baking cookies together at 1am???? probably has happened twice already in your relationship aha 😁

honestly you both spend so much time together casually that you end up arguing on whether that time where he randomly showed up at your house wanting to make relationship bracelets together was really a date or not lmao

he is also so <3 so incredibly sweet too though uGH. he is a sweetheart and like heeseung he will remember every little detail of you which will be useful for when he comes up with more date ideas in the future (

on dates such as eating at a restaurant together he will always bring you flowers like the gentleman he is.

it’s kinda funny because when youre both on a date together alone with no other people around you both become complete crackheads

but when meeting in front of others he acts so mature and serious suddenly lmao ?? 

but honestly he just trusts and loves you so so much that he doesnt even feel like he needs to act a certain way or try to become someone complteley different on a date just to impress you

but its okay because you love the duality of jake sim <3

someone get me him pls. i want one </3

Jay

With jay, shopping dates ??? yes of course (;

he’d simply love taking you out either down a road with many well-known clothing brands or maybe even the mall, entering several clothing stores with you

he never mentions it, but its obvious how much he simply adores seeing you wear the clothes he picks out for you :D

oh and matching couple outfits are obviously always chosen whenever you go out on these fashion dates!!

he will pick out a selection of items he thinks will look good on you, and - to admit it to himself: he does a pretty good damn job

tell me why this boy will get so flustered whenever he sees you walk out of the changing room,, looking so pretty in what he chose for you ??

he’d also one day surprise you on a date with matching couple bracelets :D

you’ll get so excited and he’ll get so shy and try to hide his smile as you compliment how good his sense of style is !! and as much as he denies the fact that he’s blushing you luckily do manage to snap some pics as evidence of the rosy colour in his cheeks hehe

and especially earlier on in the relationship, he’ll always try his best and prepare cute little dates for you both )): and the members would tease him to DEATH for how unbelievably soft and considerate he is when doing things for you when he is so cranky towards them lmfao

chill dates (:

walking in the park together, getting ice cream, going for late night drives and listening to music together </3 with jay it never has to be complicated

Just as long as he gets to be with you, talk with you and touch you then that’s more than enough for him (: he just likes to be in your company

and Idk why I can just see this but he wILL have playground dates with you. dont question it

Because like ?? hanging out on the swings or climbing frame of a kids park at 11PM when there’s no one else there but you both?? Talking and swinging quietly next to each other? very romantic to me hmm

Yes <3 

he will stare at you as he silently swings a back and forth a little; brushing the hair out of your face and looking at you with so so much love in his eyes it’s unbelievable

he especially loves just relaxing with you. watching a show on the tv together while cuddling and staying close to each other is something he loves

hearing your giggles and listening to you talk while engaging in teasing banter where he’ll pretend to think the things you say are stupid by scoffing and rolling his eyes when in reality his heart is swelling and he’s trying so hard not to laugh at how cute you are? 

shut UP

those are definitely one of his favourite types of dates with you

he’ll constantly try to impress you and will be willing to try so many different things with you

i can see him as either being openly interested about going on typical couple dates together such as painting or eating at romantic restaurants,, or every time you mention something of the sort he’ll be groaning at yet another mention of the ‘couple bucket list’ you had created lol

but actually he’s secretly really excited for that couple mug-painting session you booked for you both. but he will never tell you that 😳

in conclusion, with jay it really never has to be something complex for you both to enjoy your dates <3 he just loves being in your company, even if its one of those nights where you both share no words between the cuddling and content sighs and various little soft kisses he presses to your forehead.

sunghoon

with sunghoon gOSH

whatever you two get up to, it’d be so so soft and gentle and perfect and just ):

he would always ask the members what to take you out on as a date and you bet his naver search history would consist of questions like ‘what does my s/o like’ and ‘where should i take out my partner on a date’ lmao

he just wants to make you happy and comfy ):

dates with him are usually really cute!! Like going to cafes, going ice skating etc!

But you’d also love those dates at home with him, giggling shyly as you both sit together and watch a film 🥺

he LOVES those dates! he always gets so shy whenever he comes over and it takes him a little while to get comfortable enough with you to even hold your hand pls

So when he one day pulls you in closer from where you’re sitting side by side on the couch,, bringing you closer and tucking you under his arm ??

You’re so so surprised, and you feel your heart clench a little at how gentle he is with you and how he’s finally opening up ):

And from then on,, he only will become more and more comfortable with you!!! To the point where he’ll start pouting a lil when you don’t snuggle up next to him on the sofa like you usually do );

So cuddle dates with hoon? Yes you bet they’re his fave!!

and then when its quickly approaching your 100 days anniversary, he’ll be wracking his brains for so long trying to decide what to do for you

but then it will hit him like a light bulb switching on!

he’ll suddenly remember you mentioning this specific thing that you really liked and would want to do one day, and guess what he would plan for u both!!

he’d prepare 💔💔 a picnic 💔💔 for you 💔💔

ugh youre so lucky

he’d text you the day before your anniversary telling you to expect to go on a date with him the day after and to dress up prettily :D

he’d wake up super early on the day of the date, preparing all of your favourite foods and meals into a cute lil basket ):

and when you finally both meet at a really rEALLY pretty secluded area that you somehow had no idea existed despite you living in the area for so long - you’d maybe start tearing up?? 

because your boyfriend is so so sweet and you never saw this coming from him at all ): 

and he’d just stand there shyly in front of the picnic he set up, hand at the back of his head and looking down; cute lil blush tainting his cheeks from how nervous he is!

but then you’d run over and give him a big, big hug, exxclaiming how much you appreciate what he did for you and how youre so so incredibly sorry for not bringing him something as well to celebrate your anniversary (you were dying inside fo guilt please!! how could u forget to get him something when he went out of his way like this for you )):  )

but he’d simply shake his head, smiling and not minding at all

because if he gets to see you happy, gets to see those twinkling eyes of yours that just stare up at him with so so much love before bringing him in for a sweet kiss - then he simply doesnt mind at all.

r u crying at this like i am lol

sunoo

sunoo absoloutely adores you.

and he cant stay away from you !! lmao

you’ll leave after a date and ten minutes after youve arrived you’ll get a text from him saying how much he already misses you and wants to see his bun again ):

but its okay!! because y’all would meet up again really soon again :D

sunoo really doesnt mind what you both do together, he just loves being in your company !! if he’s doing something with you, its certain that he will have so much fun and be so so comfy!

you often like to go to cinemas together, watching a film

film/drama marathons are also something that you both do very very often as a date! he loves it when you hug him tight and throw a leg over his as you both lie down in his dorm bed/your bed, watching something on your laptop

he is very very cuddly and whenever you both do have cuddle dates/sessions (which is all the time btw) he’ll like it when you absentmindedly play with his fingers or stroke your hands through his hair soothingly

and then he’ll complain and whine when you stop lmao

seriously though, without a question if either of you meet at either his dorm or your house - its always:  ‘so what are we gonna watch?’

he also likes doing very very cute couple-y activities with you! of course he does,, youre his baby ): 

(he’s more YOUR baby actually - but he doesnt need to know about that shh hehe)

funfair dates where you will go on a ferris wheels and eat cotton candy together? sharing a kiss when you reach the top? yes! and so is going to those sets designed for couples to take cute photos together as a lil photoshoot!

he is so so sweet with you ): 

and has it been mentioned yet that you’ll go on food dates? this is a very obvious date you both do very often !! 

going to food markets and trying out different street foods from different vendors? yes.

having mini dates at the korean convinience store late at night where you’ll both sit by the window and eat tteokbokki & ramen together? yes.

its all honestly really really chill, but he also knows when to be serious when he needs to (:

he’ll take you out to the your favourite restaurants often!

and whenever youre celebrating something he’ll take you to a really good and famous restaurant with mouth-watering food, and you’ll be left wondering for the longest time how on earth he managed to get a seat in since its always so booked

or ordering take-out is good too :D

in conclusion (because i just realised how long this is help 😭): dates with sunoo are always a variety of fun activities which always leave you feeling tired yet so, so happy and content at the end of the day !!

he loves you so much <3

Jungwon

Since you both go to the same school, a lot of your little dates are actually spent there

He’s pretty shy with you at times,, but when you’re both alone it’s then that dates with him are usually so so goofy and silly; days filled with his teasing and your eye rolls and giggles.

Meeting at the rooftop before school to simply talk and giggle and drink chocolate milk? Yes.

Staying after school for small study sessions in the library? Yes.

With jungwon, you’re not able to see him as much between school and him being an idol, so every little moment together means so much to both of you ):

To me jungwon also seems like a cuddler!!! cause like?? Have you seen him ?? Tell me he doesn’t look so soft 

So, dates at home when he’s free where you can both cuddle together in your bed while eating and doing homework? They’re so so cosy,, and definitely your favourite kinda dates!! not to mention that your parents absolutely adore him too

With jungwon, lots of lil spontaneous dates are definitely his and yours trademark (‘:

He’ll turn up at your house randomly with a grin and dimple poking at his cheek, holding a bag of convenience store food and asking you if you want to go on a date with him even if it’s 10pm and dark outside lmfao

And then he’ll take you to an arcade!

You’ll be the only ones there and he’s keep flexing about how he’s going to win you this cat plush from the claw machine because he says it looks like him

He’d try several times and end up spending almost 8,000 won on the machine trying to win you this plush and at this point he’s already making up several excuses about how oh, ‘it’s rigged’ or ‘give me one more chance I will get it this time!!’

You’d giggle at how he grows flustered, gently asking him if you could have a go for fun, sighing and with him and agreeing on the fact that the claw machine is definitely rigged

You’d complain together; scolding the machine and asking it to please be nice and stop ruining your date when it’s then that the claw actually picks up a plush and you’re both like ;oo

You’d both stay stood in shock as the cat plush is dropped into the receiving box, before laughing loudly

He’d stand there flustered, blush tainting his cheek before he just walks away 🚶🏻‍♂️

You’d quickly pick up the cat plush and chase after him, giggles tumbling out your lips

and uhm after that you beTTER go check up on your boy and see if his ego wasnt too damaged by that 😤

so of course you’d wrap your arms around him from behind, tucking your face into the back of his neck ): and pressing gentle kisses where you know he’s ticklish until he finally relents, a small grin and dimple lighting up his face

and phEW because you thought he was upset ): but he laughs and says youre better at the claw machine than he is so,, all good dont worry !! 🥺

It’d end up being him taking the cat plush home, which you both name ‘jungwon-two’ because of how much it actually looks like him 😭

Expect many references and inside jokes to that date and jungwon-two in the future

and tbh you love dates with won so so much. theyre so fun plus they’re always secret.

and whenever you’re out doing whatever the hell you both get up to,

It’s like there is no one else in the world. It’s just you, and him, and the blooming you both feel in your chests.

Niki

I don’t know but I can just see niki as being so romantic

You’re both young, and although niki is the biggest dork and always likes to play around and make jokes 24/7 - he’s also so mature compared to the other boys your age

So would he take you out to a date where he’d set up classically romantic candles and rose petals for you both to eat at for your 1 month anniversary? Yes ):

And you’d be so speechless and shocked as you blush quietly and thank him before he‘s accidentally knocking over his glass of water all over the table cloth and you’re laughing out loud

But expect every other date with him to be filled with so so much food and comfort!

He’d feel so comfy around you, and really the only word he thinks is perfectly able to describe you is home. He thinks you feel like home to him.

So he’d show you all of this favourite things, the things closest to his heart and you can’t help but feel your own heart clench at how much you adore this boy

He’d take you out to traditional Japanese restaurants and show you his favourite foods from back home and teach you the customs of how to eat sushi

You’d 100% be so so interested and excited whenever he reveals to you a vulnerable part of him, and he’d stare at you so lovingly as he kisses your cheek, blushing and smiling like the 15 year old he is

Ugh ): niki ):

Dance dates!!

You claim you can’t dance to save your life LMFAO (or maybe you can 😳?) but he only grins shyly instead as he takes you to a small dance studio he rented (he didn’t want to take you the belift building where there would be other people - he’d want you to feel completely comfortable).

You’d simply stand there with your mouth dropped open as you watch him freestyle to a random song he put on like it’s nothing

You’d spend the day getting taught some moves by him and although you’re sure you look like a cat getting electrocuted, he still smiles and  nods and even claps, giving you compliments and teasing remarks

Overall, dates with niki are so so fun and goofy and perfect. You feel your heart swell every time he takes you out on another little adventure, feeling so complete and carefree between his warm hugs, jokes and words that he has to say to you

(’:

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Oh okay well Danny tells Ryan that they’re “going to talk in the morning” at the end of the Was it good? peice and I would like to see that. Maybe Danny telling Ryan some of the things that happened to Nate and making him super uncomfortable? Idk I like Danny protecting Nate it’s interesting

CW: Referenced past torture and pet whump, referenced alcohol use, brief reference to dissoci@tion

Follows on Was It Good?, takes place the next morning

Ryan wakes up with maybe the third serious hangover he's ever had to find a glass of water and a couple Tylenol on the side table next to the bed.

His hip hurts, a strange tight ache over his old tattoo, and he feels like his mouth is full of cotton and his head has been used as a bowling ball. Fuck. He never gets hangovers - it's the family blood, Dad says, with a hint of his brogue and a slight smile. Just how the Michaelsons are.

Their liquor doesn't touch us the same, Patrick had said when Ryan asked, tipping a glass to him, eyebrow raised. That's why I import the liquor my own people once made.

It had made perfect sense at the time. Now, though... what people? The Michaelsons have all left Ireland. They're all here now.

In any case, it'd been his dad's shit he'd been drinking last night, and too much of it. The world's faint queasy spin tells him that, even if last night is still a mess of nonsense impressions slowly coalescing back together.

He takes the pills and drinks the water after, ignores the uneasy twist of his stomach, and pulls on a t-shirt, soft as second skin, and wanders out in that and his boxers.

Danny is up before dawn, every day, and today is no exception. His brother is sitting at the kitchen table, coffee in hand, staring out the window over the kitchen sink at the fading depth of night, finally giving way to pinkish sunrise.

When Ryan enters, those wide blue eyes move immediately to him. They are not soft, or sad, or lost - they are precisely focused, and the skin under the red of his scars is pale, nearly colorless under a smattering of freckles. Both of them pretend Danny's whole body doesn't still twitch with a need to slip to his knees on the floor as soon as someone enters. "You took, um, the pills?"

His voice is soft. And still Ryan feels unsettled, something between uncertainty and guilt. "I did, yeah." He moves to pour himself a cup of coffee, the peppermint mocha creamer he'd bought changing dark brown to silky tan. Not that you need much, with Danny's coffee.

Ryan could half believe in magic, really, just from seeing how Danny didn't seem to do anything different but his coffee is still always the best.

Danny's eyes are still on his back. He can feel the weight of them, settled there. His brother, who flinches and murmurs to himself and looks at anything but whoever is talking to him... staring. Directly.

He turns slowly around, and as he does the memory of his brother's voice slips in from the night before. Strong, and even. Angry. I want to talk about this in the morning. A Danny he'd thought had died up in Canada, resurrected, reborn to defend...

Ryan's stomach drops as the whole night, fuzzy but mostly there, slots into place. "Oh, fuck," He whispers.

Fingers around Nate Vandrum's neck, closing tightly, Nate's green eyes wide and lost in terror, calling him... what?

Pl-please, Ashley, please-

Danny snorts, glancing away from him and then back again. His hands are closed around his coffee mug so hard his knuckles are white under the scars there, too. "Not too, um, blackout drunk, then," Danny says. There's a wry sarcasm there, something so familiar and so lost to Ryan that it hurts to hear now.

This is how his brother sounds, a little irritated, cynical. Not weak and soft and pliable, bending to suit whatever he thinks he has to be to stay safe. This is the brother Ryan has lost, not quite resurrected maybe, but maybe opening his eyes beside the open grave.

He's somewhere between, Ryan thinks, between the angry, dancing boy who disappeared and the broken, frightened man Ryan brought back home. He's holding himself together like this, so carefully, fighting so hard not to slip away.

Ryan sits slowly down at the other end of the table and tells himself to have the courage to meet his brother's eyes.

He manages - barely.

"No, I... I remember."

"Good." Danny slowly lifts the mug to his lips, sips, sets it down again. Like he's acting out a routine of normal, each move robotic and tightly controlled. "You can't... be cruel to him, Ryan. Like that."

"No, I know. I lost my temper a little, that's all. It's... it's not that big a deal, Dan." Ryan rubs at the back of his neck and tries on a shamefaced smile. It falters when Danny's expression hardens, like lava solidifying to rock, harmless on the surface but still hot enough to burn.

"You could have hurt him, Ryan," Danny says softly. His voice is so low, and so strong - both at once. "You, um. You did hurt him."

Ryan nods, again. He feels like a kid sitting in front of his mother after getting caught skipping curfew. He feels like Danny skipping curfew, the disappointed annoyance from their parents. Ignoring that it had almost always been Ryan's idea to sneak out.

"I... I get that. I didn't-" Ryan takes a breath and groans, leaning on his elbows, rubbing hands over his face. "Fuck. I hear all the shit that bastard did to you, and I think, Vandrum was right fucking there, Danny! Right there! And he... did nothing."

Danny sets the mug down and it clatters with the trembling of his fingers, nearly splashing out entirely. Ryan looks up and catches the sight of a bead of red on Danny's lower lip, chapped skin torn. Redder than his scars, more immediate.

"He didn't do, um, nothing," Danny whispers, barely audible. His strength is fading, pulling back inside him. Ryan's brother will just... fuck off somewhere and the stupid goddamn puppy will be there instead.

Dr. Rosa has a whole thing about this, about trauma and Danny protecting himself, something about identity and like a lot of really uncomfortable questions about their childhood Ryan has no idea how to answer...

"What did he do, then? Huh?" Ryan finds his finger jabbing in the air, watches as if from outside himself as Danny flinches back. "Tell me. What did he fucking do?"

"He, um." Danny shifts, drops his hands into his lap. His hair, shaggy and unkempt, is a riot of red waves and curls around his face. "Watched. Or... helped. He-"

"Danny, please. I'm angry enough, don't make me even more pissed at this guy-"

"He, he didn't want to, Ryan." Danny looks at him again, and Ryan watches tears glitter in his blue eyes, one run out and get caught in the crevices dug in by scars, follow its map over cheekbone and down to jaw. "He hated it. But he-... but I-..." Danny breathes, that awful fucking thing he does now to calm himself.

Breathe on, hold for a few counts, breathe out. Again and again. Ryan knows what he’s doing, inside his head, and it makes him sick.

My name is Red and I belong to Abraham Denner, and then those stupid rules - and there’s like fifty of them - over and over again until his breathing calms, until his hands settle.

Until he’s good.

The bastard, the fucking demon piece of shit that laughs at Ryan on the stand... Abraham Denner taught Danny to do that. And now, free of him, the Denner bastard about to waste away in prison for life... He still does it.

He still needs it.

Ryan's eyes drop to the scars around Danny's neck, a collar he can't take off, and he swallows. His stomach turns. He pushes the coffee mug away, the smell and taste of peppermint are making him sick now. Too cloying, too sweet, too much in the face of his broken brother's pain.

"I'm alive because of... of him," Danny says finally. "D'you see?"

"Yeah, cause four years later he found a fucking conscience-"

"No. No!" Danny's hands slap down on the table, rattling the ceramic mugs, and his breath is faster, airier. Whistling, almost. "I, I... No. Because he, he, um... He suffered, for me. With me. For four years."

"You suffered," Ryan says, voice flat. "He watched."

Danny looks at him, and there is a darkness there, a shadow around eyes and mouth, that Ryan can't always see. But he sees it now. "He, um. Was made to watch. That... That's suffering, too.”

“Bullshit.”

Danny’s jaw sets. “Don't touch him again, Ryan."

"Don't plan on it."

"Please." Danny's voice drops, almost to a whimper. "Please, Ryan. He's-... He's the only real thing."

"What?" Ryan blinks, but Danny is already pushing himself up, moving away staring out the window at the sunrise as he dumps his coffee into the sink and rinses out the mug. Automatic, thoughtless cleanliness.

Danny doesn't look back at him. He's so tall, towering over everyone, and he is still so... very small, in his fear.

"Abraham could take everything," Danny says, lips barely moving, his eyes locked on the sky slowly turning blue with the morning light. "Everything from me. He did, he, um, he could... do it again. But he never took Nate."

He turns to look at Ryan, and there's a brief flash of Danny again, really Danny, his big brother's flash and fire, before it fades under the weight of what has been done to him.

"You could take Nate away from me," Danny says, voice low. Almost weak. "Please... Please don't, Ryan. Don't touch him again. Don't b-be Abraham, in this house. Don't... Don't. I need... I need, um, this time. With Nate, while I have it. Before he... Before it's over. Before he comes back for me."

He leaves the kitchen with Ryan still staring, guilt an inferno that will burn him alive at the pleading uncertainty in Danny's face, his voice. The door to Danny's bedroom opens and shuts, almost silently.

Ryan is left alone to say, to no one, "But... He can't come back for you. He"s going to prison."

Danny acts like Abraham Denner could just fucking walk out of it.

---

@whump-it, @bleeding-demon-teeth, @finder-of-rings, @burtlederp, @astrobly@whumpywhumper, @18-toe-beans, @pumpkinthefangirl, @special-spicy-chicken, @swordkallya, @moose-teeth, @untilthepainstarts, @whumpiary,  @lave-whump @raigash @cupcakes-and-pain, @whump-tr0pes, @wildfaewhump 

[tobiosmilktea]

where orchids grow — kageyama tobio

2.1k words | genre/s: hanahaki!au, angst, hurt/comfort | warning/s: mentions of death, mentions of depression | pairing/s: kageyama x reader, platonic!tsukishima x reader

↪︎ in which an innocent little crush led to your downfall

a/n: i wrote this almost a year ago when i first started this blog. i thought the writing was really mediocre so it has been sitting in my drafts ever since,, BUT it’s finally getting to see the light of day cause i’m cleaning out my drafts :)✨ pls be easy on this one ewbd

it haunted you in your dreams, squeezing and grasping and clutching at your lungs until your final breath gave way–until they shriveled up into nothing as flower-torn chest had killed you. well... not yet at least.

no matter the amount of effort you had put into suppressing your feelings for the setter until it was nothing but a withered memoir, you couldn’t help but lay upon your bed, restless, as you recalled the flashing images of bloodied flowers that had been freshly thrown up from your lungs earlier this evening. you liked to think you’ve learned to control your emotions and feelings around kageyama well enough that the aching feeling of growing flora in your chest wouldn’t effect you that much, but of course the feeling was still evident. however, it was earlier this evening when the setter split half of his meat bun for you after a practice game and the sheer look of care and admiration in his eyes forced a rose to travel up your esophagus.

it was so horrifyingly beautiful, a disease growing flowers within its host, wrapping until it plants itself to the point of rupturing the owner’s heart and lungs due to unrequited love. you hated it—despised for that matter as the memories of your past self screeching in pain and heaving to breathe. your face turned alabaster.

your heart thudded against your rib cage as the feeling of suffocation of chrysanthemums, daises, roses, tulips, cherry blossoms, and dandelions echoed within you. your hand rested upon your chest. the feeling of such ghosted atop your rib cage where you could faintly feel the growing stems of flowers and weeds.

there was an evident aching within your heart that wasn’t from hanahaki, rather from the thought of how brutal it was caused an immense pain to compete with the actual disease. the first incident of you throwing up bloodied flowers was the moment you got home one day. you were walking home with kageyama after hinata went ahead as he had his bike with him, leaving you two to your own demise (he had a little hunch about your feelings for the raven-haired boy, but he never bothered to confirm it). it was then you two reached the entrance to your house in which you two bid a farewell. you were so enthralled with how beautiful he looked with his dark blue eyes that shined thousands of stars.

it was game over for you.

you stumbled through your front door to which your mother worriedly asked if you were okay. you could barely mutter out a response as the roses and daises and chrysanthemums fought their way out of your system, throwing up your one-sided feelings in hues of thick crimson and hollow chests. 

from then on, you had routine check ups at the hospital. in fact, you had an entire team of doctors taking care of you due to how rare the condition is. you see, hanahaki disease only occurs to those so massively in love with another, whose feelings can compete against the strongest love of all, that a simple little crush wouldn’t cause all this commotion. unfortunately, friendly love wasn’t enough to ease her homemade raptures.

they also said it was long term illness, well... long term taking into account how well you can endure the pain. occasionally there are those who can endure the pain their entire lives, yet there are the majority who simply die from the excruciating pain within a few months. the only true way to cure yourself from hanahaki was to either get kageyama to match your feelings or to get surgery to remove the constantly growing flora.

the thing is with surgery is that the moment you get it, your feelings for that person completely disintegrate. you can you no longer feel the same love as it is permanently gone. you can never regain those feelings ever again.

that was the fact that scared you the most.

despite knowing you can no longer take the pain and that you needed this surgery, there was a twinge of hope within your aching psyche that perhaps there was a chance. a chance that kageyama tobio would look at you for once that wasn’t just a friendly gaze. a look in which he would come to realize that he was in love with you. and because of this, you endured the pain a little longer.

the only downside was that no one else besides your family knew about your condition. not even your friends. and yet, with most secrets that are difficult to keep, eventually it will get out. tsukishima found out sooner than you’d had hoped.

you and tsukishima shared the same class and one day kageyama had visited your classroom during lunch, giving you his favorite milk from the vending machine as payback for helping out the volleyball club and with tutoring. it then when you felt your cheeks burning cherry red and the infamously familiar sting within your lungs. he then gave tsukishima a melon bun that he owed and the moment kageyama walked away, the blonde middle blocker immediately noticed the pain written across your face.

you pushed the carton of milk in his hands when you dashed down the hallways towards the restroom. fortunately, you were able to make it in time, locking yourself down in one of the stalls and profusely throwing up sticky and bloody flowers with hot streaming tears pricking at your eyes and threatening to spill. you immediately wiped them up. you couldn’t let anyone see you like this.

you flushed the toilet and watched the water turn red to clear when it went down the drain. you sighed, leaving the stall and looking upon yourself at the mirror. you looked absolutely terrible. from the dark circles under your eyes from nights filled with insomnia due to the aching pain, to your eyes still red from sobbing in the stall, and now to your hollow cheeks.

and because of the constant radiating pain, it became increasingly difficult for you to eat proper meals, leading for you to loose an unhealthy amount of weight. yachi was the first one to notice the sudden weight loss and the constant state of indifference. she knew there was something wrong, but she was too afraid to ask you. eventually, she asked if you were depressed one day and somehow you couldn’t bring yourself to say no.

afte leaving the restrooms, you were surprised to see taukishima waiting outside the doors and you were immediately trapped. the harsh glare staring down at you and his more than worried voice eventually led you to finally confessing what was wrong with you. and for the first time in your life, you’ve never seen the middle blocker so worried and caring. that his usually harsh demeanor and signature teasing remarks were softened because the thought of losing you scared him deeply. besides yamaguchi and yachi, you were the closest friend he had and he would hate to lose one his friends.

he would often ask you, “are you considering the surgery?” to which you wouldn’t know the answer to and that you were still waiting for the rare chance kageyama could’ve like you back.

it surprised you the sudden look of disappointment that etched across his bespectacled face.

during practice or during games where you suddenly get coughing attacks whenever you were around kageyama and talking to him, it was tsukishima who would immediately pull you away from the others and take care of you. he was the one to help you clean you after yourself and wipe your tears. eventually, the rest of the school believed you two were a couple.

however, there was the day were the pain was too insufferable. you had hanahaki for six months at this point where the disease would get into the most dangerous stages that one day you called tsukishima up one and finally made the decision.

“i’m tired of waiting, kei.” you muttered harshly as your voice was getting more and more hoarse each day. it was getting worse. you two sat nonchalantly on some random playground swings. the sun was setting and the blond was carefully gazing at your eyes that was soaked in honey. “i’m getting the surgery this weekend and I want you to come and take care of me.”

“of course.” 

it felt like everything was going to be okay when he said that.

you woke up to hush chattering, as if a a big group was in the room trying to speak softly, yet failing to do so.

“guys she’s awake!” a voice exclaimed. It sounded like hinata.

suddenly a whole herd of volleyball players came surrounding your bed, their expressions had looks of smiley relief melted upon their faces as they didn’t hesitate to bombard you with questions. the poor nurses could barely get past the towering high school kids as the thought of you being okay was more than enough to fuel their adrenaline.

“i’m glad you’re okay now, (y/n).” sugawara beamed at you.

“yeah!” cut in tanaka loudly, “i can’t bare to lose my favorite first year all because of a stupid crush!”

your eyes suddenly widen. the rush of fear and worry filled you as you looked at tsukoshima who was standing at the end of your hospital bed.

“i had to tell them, they were threatening me.” he scoffs lightly.

“we don’t know who your crush was though, so you’re okay!” added nishinoya who patted your shoulder gently.

daichi then cleared his throat, capturing the team’s attention. “we should probably go and let to the nurses take care of her. we have practice too.”

the room was suddenly filled with loud ‘yes, captains!’ as they all piled out of the room, leaving only kageyama to stray behind slightly. tsukishima looked at the you two briefly before closing the door. this was something that you and tobio had to discuss.

there was a feeling of soreness atop your chest, possibly from the stitch that ran down your center of your torso that was in the process of healing. tbe tall setter approached your bedside, scratching the back of his neck. usually whenever you looked at kageyama an itchy feeling would arise in your throat and your chest would feel tight, and yet the moment you laid eyes on him, you felt nothing.

“tsukishima told me what happened,” he starts. the initial fear of confrontation diminished into nothing but acceptance. you couldn’t hide your previous feeling forever. “you should’ve told me.”

you sighed, “i was going to... but then i started getting the symptoms and i knew that there was no point in telling you when you didn’t feel the same way.”

“but if you told me, maybe there was a chance i would’ve helped you get better.” the setter tried to state, only making you want to roll your eyes and scoff.

shaking your head, you pulled your hand out of his. “that’s not how it works, kageyama. your fake feelings would only make it worse and i don’t want to be with someone who’s dating me out of pity.”

“but i don’t pity you, i—”

“it doesn’t matter, now.” you shook your head and cut him off, “you don’t have to worry because the surgery removed my feelings for you permanently. you don’t have to feel guilty about it anymore.”

kageyama gulps, nodding as straighten his posture. “but i almost killed you.”

“i’m here now, aren’t i? i’m okay.”

the setter still couldn’t help but feel his chest tighten and his gut wrench. “are we still friends despite all this?”

you nod. “of course, that’s not even a question.”

before their conversation could continue, one of the nurses knocked upon the door and opened it slightly. “sorry to interrupt, but all visitors must leave now. the visiting time is up.”

“oh, alright.” the volleyball player swiftly bows and waves goodbye to you before leaving the hospital room.

he cleared his throat the moment he stepped into the hallway, all uncomfortable and itchy. quickly catching up with the rest of his teammates that waited for him at the entrance, he quickly grabbed a water cup from the waiting room and gulped down its contents immediately—yet the feeling didn’t stop.

“kageyama, hurry we need to get to practice.” hinata calls out to him.

drinking one last cup of water in the desperation to heal his scratchy throat, he threw the disposable cup aside.

“i’m coming!” yet his voice was far too hoarse to be heard.

general taglist: @yongboxerrr @tanakaslastbraincell @kellesvt @kitsunetea