#can be platonic or romantic. however you see it

[that-wildwolf]

A Queer Reading of Mass Effect - Garrus Vakarian and Demisexuality

Despite the title this is really not a structured formal paper, more like just some rambly analysis from someone who is both queer and deeply obsessed with these fictional characters.

An obvious disclaimer is that this is my headcanon and personal interpretation, etc, etc. There are many ways to read this character and relationships, and this is just one of them, etc etc. You know the drill. Under no circumstances am I saying I'm right and everyone else is wrong, just presenting this particular reading of the character.

So. Garrus Vakarian. Best sniper boyfriend, bad boy turian, Archangel. Also, unintentional but great demisexual representation.

Now there's really no way to analyse all of Garrus' romantic relationships (the only one we know of from his past is his own account and that one is also only presented as a hookup/one night stand. I will return to this later. I think I will, at least. I don't have a plan here.) but there are two romantic relationships he can enter over the course of the three games: one with Commander Shepard or with Tali'Zorah.

Now, the latter is… not handled the best way in the games, in my opinion, and speaks of a wider issue with aphobia in not just the gaming industry but in media in general, but that's its own separate discussion. For the purposes of this analysis, however, I will be looking at Garrus's possible relationship with Tali. It's clear those two are good friends. It's also important to note here that out of those two relationships, neither starts as romantic and rather is built first as a friendship and only eventually and potentially turns romantic or sexual much later on. The earliest Garrus can enter a romantic relationship is (though this is depending on playstyle) near the end of the second game of the trilogy, which makes more than half of the relationship we see him have with Shepard as more platonic than romantic (although admittedly those lines are rather blurry in the second game. More on that later.)

Back to Tali. They are friends first and know each other extremely well. I will not be going very deeply into this relationship because of how I feel about the way BioWare handled it, but for the sake of full transparency in this analysis, the game itself does present that relationship (also interesting side note while we're on the subject: out of the only two women we see Garrus "dating", neither is his species) as based on their friendship and connection rather than Garrus being physically attracted to Tali (in fact, it can be argued he didn't even know what she looked like at all prior to the two of them hooking up). Even though this is presented as more of a stress relief or friends with benefits situation than an actual romantic relationship, it is clear those two only chose each other because they were already close friends not because they saw each other as physically attractive.

This very nicely brings us (back?) to Garrus and his relationship with Shepard. Due to the way the games are structured and with Shepard being the main character, this is obviously going to be the largest section of this analysis, not just because of my personal emotional investment in this relationship but because of the largest abundance of material to analyse here.

The way Shepard and Garrus's relationship starts is… interesting. For the entirety of the first game, their dynamic is closer to that of a mentor and mentee and eventually of two friends, and there is very little hints of any seuxual/romantic feelings between those two.

ID: Garrus might have started to have feelings of some sort for Shepard at this point.

This base of friendship and mutual respect is extremely important to keep in mind especially with what comes later. The Shepard/Garrus relationship (from here on now referred to as 'Shakarian' for brevity's sake) begins in a way that is very different from most other video game romances (and most romances, really). It starts with Garrus stating outright that he is not attracted to Shepard. Now, there is definitely a lot more going on here than just taking what he says at face value, but it is also important to note that he has no reason to lie to Shepard here and in all likelihood, he truly believes what he's saying here.

Shepard proposes sex, essentially asking Garrus how he feels about adding benefits to their friendship. Throughout that whole conversation, neither of them highlights physical attraction. In fact, the way they're acting would suggest that's not even part of the equation here, or not a very important one at least. What they talk about instead is trust and respect.

ID: Shepard saying "I don't want something closer to home. I want you. I want someone I can trust."

Garrus agrees to Shepard's proposition not by saying he's always liked her or that they would make a good couple or anything like that. He says she's his best friend. Again the friendship is highlighted here so much and especially in direct opposition with the lack of physical attraction. As they go ahead with this, they're constantly talking about this connection they have — I want you, I want someone I can trust, you're my closest friend, if we're about to die I want to have a moment to cherish that's just the two of us… It's clear this is about more than just sex, to the both of them, but the feelings shown here do not come from physical attraction but from emotional connection.

I could analyse the Mass Effect 2 Shakarian romance scene to the moon and back and still have things to say, especially with regard to the demisexual reading of Garrus's character, but this post is running long as it is. Garrus is nervous and awkward and emotionally vulnerable. Any remaining conviction that this is about stress relief is at this point ultimately shattered.

Then cue Mass Effect 3. After six months apart, it is clear the relationship between Shepard and Garrus is… different from what we saw at the end of the previous game. The way they interact now, even before eventually officially reaffirming their relationship, is more unambiguously romantic. The physical touch between them is very deliberate, with particular attention given to their hands: they touch, shake and hold hands, tenderly cup each other's cheeks. It is clear at this point to the characters perhaps as much as to the audience that this is no longer about stress relief (and that's assuming that's all it ever was at any point, which can also be argued was not the case). Along with this deepened emotional connection between them, so does develop the way Garrus talks to and about Shepard. There are parts of Mass effect 3 where Garrus seems fully confident in the relationship and it does not seem to just be banter or joking. As he starts seeing Shepard as not just his friend but as his girlfriend, so does change the way he looks at her not as a human but as a woman. As a beautiful woman, even — something he would not have thought of her at the beginning of their relationship.

I would also be amiss if I didn't mention the way Garrus acts in the Citadel DLC and contrast it to his behaviour from Mass Effect 2 in particular. While definitely not "canon" in the way the games themselves are, the DLCs are also, for better or worse, officially released content in the universe of Mass Effect. (In the case of the Citadel DLC, thankfully mostly for better.) Everything in here should be taken with a grain of salt, especially with the romanceable characters, as the foremost role of this DLC is as something of fan service meant to give the series a happier sendoff than the actual ending. That being said, it is very interesting to see Garrus at a point in time (unspecified but although canonically this takes place before Cronos Station, the characters for the most part act more free and familiar and could be argued as though this takes place post canon — while I do not subscribe to this reading of the Citadel DLC, I thought it important to also point that out) where he and Shepard have been in a relationship for a longer period of time and he feels more confident in both the relationship and his role as Shepard's partner.

Garrus in the Citadel DLC joyfully asserts himself as Shepard's boyfriend (a word he only describes himself with once in the canon Mass Effect 3 if I'm correct) and proclaims his affection for her out loud and repeatedly. What's particularly interesting to note here is how often he refers to her being beautiful or attractive here. The "nice outfit" line is not exclusive to the Garrus romance, so it would feel dishonest to include it in an analysis of this character specifically, but there is a lot Garrus says about Shepard that other characters do not. He brings it back to how lucky he is to be with her and implies others might see her as a desirable partner. The "I love your hair and I'm pretty damned partial to the rest of you too" line always stood out to me. This can be read as just a cute nod to him finding her most alien features attractive, but it also speaks to him seeing her as attractive in general. The "hell if I know" conversation where he talks about how good she looked wearing her fancy outfit at the casino also comes across as genuine. It's fascinating to see him so forthright about his attraction to her at this point in time when put in contrast with him in Mass Effect 2 being so forthright about the lack of that attraction.

It is clear, very clear, that throughout their relationship Garrus grows to deeply love Shepard not because of her alienness or in spite of it, but completely separately from it. He acknowledges that she is human and that it is not something he is attracted to, but cares about her so deeply that it does not factor into the decision to agree to her proposition and entering into a relationship with her. The relationship they build together is one that is shown to be built on trust and mutual respect, in fact more so than any actual "feelings", which is admittedly a departure from what might instantly come to mind when one considers love, especially between two fictional characters. But aside from their confidence in their connection and in each other, there's another thing that grows in this relationship, once given time: Garrus's attraction to Shepard, something he initially was striaghtforward and realistic (Garrus, ever the realist, ever saying it as it is) about in saying that he did not see her that way. Then, giving time to their relationship and after letting their connection deepen, letting their emotional bond become stronger, Garrus finds himself attracted to Shepard not just emotionally but physically as well.

And definitely some might argue that after being with a human sexually and romantically for some time, Garrus has simply started to see humans as potentially desirable too, but we never see Garrus interested in any humans besides Shepard (RIP Chloe Michel's unrequited crush on this guy) so there is really no evidence either way here. And there are many ways to read this characterisation other than "this character is demisexual", but that is certainly the impression I am getting from the way this relationship progresses and the fact that he never mentions being attracted to anyone else, neither Tali in their possible brief hookup near the end of ME3 nor the scout from his story. In fact, he doesn't seem to pay much attention to phsyical appearance of potential partners whatsoever until his relationship with Shepard grows more intimate to allow him to find those feelings for her along the way despite not having them to start with. And that, at the very least, reads as extremely demisexual to me.

Happy Pride!

[lunabug2004]

This may be a reach bc you could claim this is due to the gaining of acting experience over the years but I wanna talk about

The Difference Between the "Cool." "Cool." Scenes w/ s1!Mileven & s4!Byler

Every time I rewatch s1 I think of this and I've finally decided to make a post about it. Especially bc this is a parallel between the two ships.

To me, there is a clear difference between Mileven's "Cool." "Cool." in s1e3 and Byler's in s4e3. I made this video just showing the two back to back to make it easier to discuss them. It's important to watch it because I think the tone of voice is really important here.

First, Mileven's exchange. This happens right at the end of a conversation where Mike explains to Eleven that he was/is getting bullied at school. Therefore, when she says she understands and does not proceed to laugh at or make fun of him, Mike is surprised. His "Cool" is presented more as a prompt for a reaffirmation that El will not leave him because of this information. Then when she repeats back to him it's her response to his happiness at this thought. Her tone of voice is much more soft compared to Mike's (this is important for later). When Mike looks at her after this, again, he just seems to be looking at her with nice surprise or excitement like "oh that's nice! I'm not losing my new friend!" This whole exchange can easily be read as platonic, with both of them just happy to have a friend who understands. Nothing discussed can be read as romantic in any way. They're talking about bullying of all things. They make very short eye contact during the actual exchange. I've said before that Mike doesn't actually seem to show any signs of liking El romantically until Lucas brings it up, and I actually never really saw this scene as romantic either; it's just the two of them bonding. The show, however, does set up the scene as romantic because of Lucas's comment earlier on in the episode. The audience is almost forced to make that connection.

Ultimately, this scene reads as platonic when out of context but is set up as and really only seems romantic because of the show putting the idea in the audience's head just a few scenes before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now, Byler. This exchange happens right after Mike apologizes to Will for his behavior after he arrived in Cali, expresses how much he has missed him, and that he wants the two of them to be a team from that point forward. Now, this is already a much more loaded conversation than the one Mike and El had before. Mike is put in a venerable position in both, but in this one, he is not reaffirming something that has been previously said, he is simply waiting to see how Will will react. Notice that Mike is not the one to say the first "cool"; he was waiting to see if Will would accept his apology (borderline love confession). When Will does just that, Mike is extremely happy, and he repeats Will's response in the exact same way; they're on the exact same page. It feels like a reciprocation of feelings for both of them. This exchange feels extremely flirty, due to both the tone of voice from both boys being very soft and gentle, as well as the topic of conversation. Expressing how much you've missed someone and long to be a partnership team with them again is an extremely personal thing to do. Byler's conversation is about deep feelings between two humans rather than a conversation about just a difficult topic, like bullying. It's also a different type of venerability from Mike. One we've only really seen him reach with Will. They also never really break eye contact. Nothing in the show before this point makes the audience think this scene should be romantic in any way. Only those who had picked up on Will's feelings for Mike would have reason to think this way. The audience is generally unaware, though, so why did so many people find romance in this scene? Because the show knows what it's doing. It shows and it does not tell.

Ultimately, this scene reads as romantic when out of context but is set up as and really only seems platonic when going off of what the show has shown us up to this point.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TLDR: Mileven's exchange can very easily be read as platonic, but is "supposed" to be romantic based on the what the show has shown the audience. Byler's exchange can very easily be read as romantic, but is "supposed" to be platonic based on what the show has shown the audience.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Okay, I'm not gonna lie -- I felt really out of my element making this post. I have not made an analysis post in an extremely long time, and I don't feel that I articulated my thoughts very well at all. Please feel free to add your own thoughts to this, and just tell me what you think! Is there even a case here? It's also very possible that I'm seeing the scenes through very biased eyes, so let me know if you agree or not! Anyways, if you read all this, you're a real one cuz even I got lost writing it.

Btw if someone else wants to talk about this or to explain things better than me please go ahead! You also have my permission to use the video if you want.

Byler endgame!

[her-soliloquies]

Being mostly only part of the jayvik fandom (and partly caitvi) means I get to bask in their undeniable romantic relationship (ofc you can also see it as platonic, just don't insist that it's the only way to look at it) while others fight over how Silco and Vander's relationship is as brothers and they can't be shipped and whether Jinx and Ekko are straight or bi or whatever.

[cosmicmoonwhisperer]

I need at least one interaction between Kenta and Pete to be so full of tension and poorly concealed grief (of what they lost and what they could’ve had and what they could’ve done differently and what they could’ve been to and for each other) that I have to lean away from the screen.

[that1notetaker]

Part 1 of Ace! April + Best friend Dynamics - Next? Some context: April isn't very confident about being around people in canon. She's weird and badass, and while we love that, she thinks she's got to 'be normal' to be liked, and make friends. It reminded me of the Ace Experience, and how that'd add another layer to the slow acceptance that is herself. Enter Donnie.

[zer0brainc3lls]

*Newt hears chaos and shenanigans taking place in the distance*

Newt: not my circus not my monkeys

Minho and Thomas: *SCREAMING BLODDY MURDER*

Newt *stumbles to his feet and bolts to the screams*: MY CIRCUS MY MONKEYS MY CIRCUS MY MONKEYS MY CIRCUS MY MONKEYS- 

[perpetualexistence]

Through a Funhouse Mirror

Alenoah Week 2024 Day 6: Amusement Park / Laser Tag

Noah and Alejandro are on an end of year class field trip to the local amusement park. Normally, Alejandro only hangs out with his girlfriend Heather in the popular clique. However, recently Alejandro has integrated himself into Noah's friend group. He's even taken charge as their leader.

He acts the gentleman, but by now Noah knows better. He doesn't have any concrete proof, but he can tell Alejandro despises most of the group. There has to be some reason he's sticking around, but he doesn't quite know what.

He would confront Alejandro, but the eel is always too preoccupied with schmoozing the rest of his friends, and people outside of his immediate friend group. Now is a good of a chance as any.

Alejandro's the one who convinces the group to split off. He insists that it's so everyone can do what they prefer, but Noah can tell it's because he wants to get away from the others. Noah volunteers himself to go with Alejandro since nobody is allowed to be by themselves, and Alejandro obliges. There are benefits to being the only other sane one in the group.

Noah looks for somewhere private to confront Alejandro, and lucks out with the house of mirrors. He tells Alejandro he wants to go in and Alejandro, ever the 'gentleman' agrees.

Noah waits until they're deeper into the maze before he starts being direct with Alejandro about his nature. Alejandro tries denying it. Noah provides rebuttal after rebuttal. The argument keeps getting more and more heated.

Noah's back is to one of the mirrors. He's trying to keep his ground, but he takes another step backward as Alejandro takes one forward. His back is pressed against one of the mirrors.

Without warning, the solid surface begins to shudder. He feels something like a liquid on his back. Nothing seems to be supporting his weight anymore, and he begins to fall backwards. In his desperate attempt to stop his descent, he grabs onto the closest thing in sight: Alejandro.

In his own shock at seeing the mirror ripple, Alejandro is unable to react in time to stop their fall. He passes through the mirror with Noah, and falls on top of the smaller boy.

Noah groans in pain at the fall and at being crushed.

Alejandro quickly stood up to recover from this temporary set back. He's the first to notice that the tacky mirrors from before now loom over the both of them like imposing walls. The floor is much, much too close.

They both hear a chuckle coming from behind him, and turn to see a man the size of an eight-story building looking down at both of them.

After a quick screaming session, they learn that this is a trickster spirit who calls himself Chris. He likes to mess around with mortals from time to time for his own amusement. And man, they just handed themselves on a silver platter.

He offers them a deal. He'll tell them how to return them to their normal size if they can find him again. He'll give them a riddle, then once they figure out where he's talking about, they have to race towards it at their new size to get to him.

Alejandro shows no fear as he does his best to assuage Chris and assure him they can absolutely finish this task for Chris. Noah, however, is pretty peeved about this situation. And oh, does he let Chris know it.

Alejandro tries to get him to stop talking, but one doesn't stop Noah from going off on someone once he's started. Noah has successfully angered Chris, though Alejandro's able to convince Chris NOT to kill them. Chris still wants some punishment though, so he magics their phones away so they can't call or text for help. And he's going to give them the hardest riddle he knows.

Alejandro covers Noah's mouth and agrees to the new terms. Chris gives them the riddle, and leaves in a puff of smoke. It takes everything in Alejandro not to strangle Noah as they get to solving the riddle.

Between their IQ, and Chris not being as smart as he thinks he is, they solve it pretty quickly. It’s the Ferris wheel. They can remember seeing it on the way in. It's in the middle of the park. Full of crowded people. Who can step on them without even trying.

They start making their way over, doing their best to be as stealthy and quick as possible. They'd rather not let anyone else know about this because who knows how any stranger would take it?

Fortunately, they do come across someone that isn't a complete stranger! It's hard to miss Owen in a crowd with how his voice carries. He's getting an absolutely obscene amount of cotton candy.

Noah immediately starts making his way towards his chubby buddy, only for Alejandro to stop him. Noah wants to know what Alejandro's doing, and Alejandro points out that Owen might not be the best person to help them out in their current predicament. He doesn't know how to keep secrets, and isn't aware of his own strength. That is a VERY dangerous combination with both of them being this small.

Noah turns on Alejandro in an instant. Owen's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's not a complete idiot. He can stop when you ask him to stop something. And not spreading gossip is a different type of secret than one that'd put their lives at risk.

There's no way of knowing if they'd find any of their other classmates who is more 'responsible' and who might, might be willing to help. Owen could be their one chance.

Also. It's Owen. Of course he's going to help them! Plus, the big guy can charge through a crowd if he's highly motivated. Noah's pretty sure saving the lives of two of his friends is high enough motivation. They'd get to that ferris wheel in an instant!

Noah's not going to have Alejandro ruin their best chance of getting back to normal because of some stupid one-sided rivalry with Owen!

"He may squeeze me within an inch of my life, but you know what I'll be? Alive!"

Alejandro still fights to keep Noah from going out to get Owen's attention. He doesn't want anyone to see him like this, especially not that oafish buffoon no matter what Noah says.

Noah tries to wriggle out of Alejandro's grasp, but he loses. Alejandro only lets go after Owen has passed them by. He sighs in relief when he can no longer see Owen, and finally lets Noah go.

Noah starts going off on another tirade against Alejandro when the wind starts to pick up. Nobody else seems to notice, but for them the wind is threatening to buffet them away.

Alejandro crouches down to cling to the boardwalk underneath him for something to hold on. Noah is blown away a couple of feet (relative to his new size) before he's stopped.

Because a stray bit of cotton candy has been blown his way and is now trapping him against the ground.

Alejandro rushes for Noah once the wind has died down. He might be annoyed at Noah for making this more difficult that it needs to be, but that doesn't mean he wishes Noah dead.

He tries digging some of the cotton candy around Noah's face free so Noah can breathe better. Which does work, but it also leads Alejandro to getting cotton candy on him. He's lucky he's strong enough to have pulled his own arms out rather than get stuck himself.

He knows any type of liquid should dissolve this, but how to get some? He looks around to spot a large cup of soda littered on the ground. He runs for it and sighs in relief as he notices that it has a bit remaining. It won't be the most elegant solution, but it will do.

He drags the soda to Noah and jumps onto the cup. Soda sprays out of the straw to douse Noah, freeing him. Noah is coughing and snorting out cotton candy and soda, but he's breathing.

Noah reluctantly thanks Alejandro for the whole, you know, saving his life thing. Alejandro was going to tease Noah about it to get some semblance of familiarity back when he hears an extremely loud bark coming from behind.

He turns to see a large dog behind him.

This is fine. Animals love Alejandro! He has a commanding presence that they admire. They fawn over him. He can tame this beast and convince it they're not chew toys.

Turns out his commanding presence doesn't work when he's smaller than the thing he's trying to command.

The dog reaches down and bites onto the back of Alejandro's shirt. He's shaken about, grasping for anything to free himself, when he hears a familiar voice in a strange tone.

"Here boy!" coos Noah in a cutesty tone Alejandro didn't think was possible. "Drop the disgusting eel and come to me! I've got treats!"

To Alejandro's shock, the dog immediately drops him. He falls to the ground in a heap. The dog eagerly bounds towards Noah and begins to sniff him. The dog licks Noah, mostly for the soda and cotton candy he's drenched in.

"¿Quién eres y qué has hecho con Noah?" Alejandro asks himself as he hears Noah giggle at being licked.

Noah digs into one of the many pockets in his khakis that Alejandro had assumed were just to show off his poor taste in fashion. He digs his hand out with a small plastic bag filled with dog treats.

"Come on boy, let's get you a treat that won't kill you in the long run."

He gets the dog to sit, then lay down. Then begins to climb on top of the dog.

"...You tell no one what just happened, and I'll let you get on Shadow. I don't know if I can get him to go fast, but I can at least get him going in the right direction."

Alejandro knows better to look a gift horse in the mouth, so he puts all thoughts about how cute that was away as he gets atop of the newly dubbed Shadow.

It turns out that Shadow has two speeds: none and all. They both have to cling onto the dog as he bolts through the crowd towards the ferris wheel. They can only hope everyone is so focused on the dog that no one notices the two small humans desperately clinging to its fur.

Shadow takes them a good distance towards the wheel. However, he is a dog. He notices a seagull within his line of sight and begins to chase after it in a different direction. The two of them let go before Shadow can steer them too far off course, and land behind one of the prize booths.

With them being in the back of the booths, they can see a path of relatively safety so long as none of the workers make their way back here. The ferris wheel isn't much farther off. So they begin walking. And talking.

"May I at least ask how you made a dog much larger than us eat out of the palm of your hand?"

"I trained my dog when he was a puppy. I figured it might be the same with another dog no matter the size difference."

"Still, I will admit. That was impressive."

"Huh, so you can give a genuine compliment. Didn't think you had it in you."

"I absolutely do give genuine compliments!"

"If you want to prove you're genuine, tell me the real reason you started befriending Team E-scope."

Alejandro sighs. Because at this point, he's tired, and he already has a piece of blackmail over Noah. If they don't survive this, he might as well get this off his chest.

Alejandro admits that the real reason he wants Noah and his friends at his side is because he needs them to get revenge on Heather for him. He's done his best to keep this out of the gossip circle, but she actually dumped him rather recently. He didn't quite listen to the reason why because she did the dumping instead of him. He can't just let that stand.

He knows 'Team E-scope' and Owen is because he knows they're the most chaotic group among them. He planned to trick them into pranking Heather for him so that he didn't have to get his own hands dirty, and no one would find out the reason he wanted revenge on the first place.

Noah can't help but laugh at Alejandro.

"You seriously went through all of that trouble so we could get back at your ex for you?"

"It's a very elaborate plan!"

"That's why I'm laughing! You did all of that for nothing!"

"Getting back at Heather is not nothing."

"No. That's not what I mean. We would have done it if you just asked."

"...What?"

"Eva hates Heather's guts, Owen's always down for a good prank, Izzy's Izzy, and I love to watch shitty people get their just desserts. You didn't even need to give us a reason. All you had to do was ask us to help you pull a prank on Heather. We'd do it because it'd be funny."

Alejandro has to re-evaluate a lot of assumptions and life decisions that he's made recently.

As they get close to the ferris wheel, they spot Chris walking into one of the carts. They immediately make a run for the cart before the attendant can close the door. They both land on the sticky, popcorn riddled floor at the same time.

Despite this, they each find themselves alone with Chris.

He spends the first few minutes laughing at them, confessing to having watched them the entire time. Then he says to each that he can tell them how to get back to normal, but there’s no guarantee it’ll work and they’re almost out of time. He can un shrink one of them right now, guaranteed. …But in return, they have to give up the other to Chris as an entertainment piece. The other will be fine! Mostly. They’ll be big again at least.

Once he gets the consent he can take the other away to do whatever. It’s an exclusive offer, so they better act fast.

Neither believes this is exclusive. They’re both pretty sure the other is being offered the same deal. It’s the classic prisoner’s dilemma. If they give each other up, they’ll probably both be subject to Chris’s whims for the rest of their lives.

Logically speaking, the right thing to do is to try to betray each other. But it requires a considerable amount of trust in the other. Noah would have to trust Alejandro not to be a selfish bastard. Alejandro would have to trust Noah not to be paranoid. 

...Noah doesn't think he can trust Alejandro. He has seen Alejandro put himself first time and again. He refused to get help that they clearly needed because of his stupid pride. He's been more honest with Noah, but now Alejandro is by himself, being offered a deal almost impossible to resist. If he's going to take Noah down, then Noah might as well take Alejandro with him.

And yet. Alejandro's first instinct had been to save Noah when he was trapped, despite proving that he'd be difficult to work with. There was something good there in that shriveled, dark heart. Taking Alejandro down would give him a sense of vindication, but he doubted that would last long with whatever punishment Chris had in store. At least with Alejandro free, someone would know what had happened to Noah.

Besides, there is a part of Noah that does want to believe that Alejandro has some standards. It's a small part. It's a stupid part.

But Noah would rather be a fool than be cruel senselessly.

So he denies Chris's deal.

…To his surprise, Alejandro thinks he can trust Noah. With how loyal Noah is to Owen, he doubts Noah would choose to subject someone else to Chris. Alejandro could easily take advantage of this. It won’t be his problem afterwards. People would ask questions about Noah, but he could lie his way around them. Alejandro could finally rid himself of an annoyance set on ruining his good name.

And yet. Noah's not just an annoyance. He can be useful when he wants to be. He saved Alejandro from his own overconfidence. Noah has potential to be more. Not just to Alejandro, but to others as well. He's a fool not to see it in himself, but Alejandro could guide him along the right way. With their minds combined, they could conquer any challenge. Including Chris'.

Besides, the world would be a worse place without Noah in it.

So he denies Chris's deal.

The two are suddenly besides each other in the cart staring up at a petulant Chris. He whines that he's disappointed in the both of them. Where's the drama in neither of them taking the deal?!

Unfortunately, he's bound by his own rules, so he does tell them that the only way to get back to their normal size is to go through the same mirror that shrunk them in the first place. (All of Chris's game was pretty much a distraction to trick them into giving themselves up to him or else be small forever, either way being entertaining for Chris.)

They have until sunset, which if he had to guess is about thirty minutes. With a huff, he vanishes.

The two just look at each other for a moment as they comprehend what just happened.

"...You didn't give me up." Noah spoke aloud.

"No. I didn't."

"Why?"

"I don't know," Alejandro admitted. Which was the truth. He knew he told himself it was to keep Noah around as a benefit, but there was a part of him that also just liked having Noah around. And he wasn't sure which was more true. "I can't believe you trusted me."

"I didn't."

"Why wouldn't you give me up when you thought I would?"

"I don't know," Noah confessed. His heart and his brain were too battle-torn to give a more truthful answer. His heart was winning when he spoke again, "I'm sorry. For doubting you."

"No. No, you were absolutely right to. I didn't refuse to betray you out of the goodness of my heart."

"But you did."

"...Sí. I did.

"So take the apology. You're not getting another one."

"No."

"Are you seriously arguing this right now? Why?!"

"Because you still chose to spare me anyways!" Alejandro snapped. "You know me better than anyone else. You know I'm not 'a good person deep down'! There was no reward in this for you! I would punish your loyalty for myself. And you'd still show me mercy! I can't-No entiendo-"

Alejandro pinched at the bridge of his nose as he desperately attempted to calm his thoughts before he spoke again. "...Thank you."

After a pause of his own, Noah replied. "You're welcome."

The sun got in their eyes as they both remembered Chris's new thirty minute deadline. The ferris wheel is currently stopped at the top. Even if they could scale down it quickly, it would take far longer than 30 minutes to get back to the house of mirrors by themselves.

Fortunately for them, they're crafty, and they're high enough to where they're at the height of seagulls flying about. They manage to get a seagull's attention by throwing popcorn out of the cart. When it comes to investigate, Alejandro remains pressed against the wall of the cart while Noah is in the middle, egging the bird closer.

The bird goes in to attack Noah, and Alejandro leaps onto the bird from behind. The bird attempts to fly away and shake Alejandro off. Alejandro holds it in place long enough for Noah to get on.

The two wrangle the bird into a dive bomb for the house of mirrors. All three of them are screaming as they crash land. The two quickly scamper inside before the bird is aware enough to get revenge on them.

They split off to cover more ground since neither one quite remembers where the mirror that shrank them is. Alejandro is the one who manages to find it first as he goes through it to become his regular size. He went in one mirror, though out another, and can only guess he's on the side of the maze that Noah went down.

He immediately speedwalks to find Noah. He can't run or he'd risk stepping on him. When he hears Noah shout his name, he immediately runs, grabs Noah, and races back towards where he believes the entrance to be.

Noah guides him back to the entrance, and he races towards the mirror once he recognizes where he is. He shoves Noah through the mirror, though his own hand meets a solid surface.

He runs back towards the other side, only to meet a regular sized Noah in the middle, panting. The two immediately hug and laugh in pure shock and disbelief that they're finally back to normal.

Chris is nowhere to be found or heard, though they do wish they'd be able to get some form of revenge on him.

For now, they're both content with leaving the park and never setting foot in it again.

They finally catch up with the rest of their friend group who ask where they've been the whole time.

Neither of them has a response prepared, so Izzy provides them with one: They were clearly making out the whole time.

The two try to beat back the allegations, but to no avail. It's still better than having to explain what ACTUALLY happened.

It does mean they'd have to be together more if they're going to lean into this lie.

Neither one minds it as much as they pretend to.

[moiraimyths]

Hello! I'm new to the game and I'm wondering if you could tell me which characters are aspec? Other than Shae being ace which is already mentioned in the demo page :)

Shae is ace, Daonna is aro/ace, Keagan is demirom, and Robin is greyrom.

[astralarias]

okay I can't lie I meant to make my prev post about relationships unrebloggable because it was just a lil personal rant based on things I've been seeing every now and then but dgfhjdfg I am glad it resonated with people <3

[freak-accident419]

me writing my short derek danforth friends with benefits fic as an actual FRIENDS with BENEFITS trope

update: it’s out!!! (click here)

[littlesapphicraccoonguy]

I love how i drew their eyes COMPLETELY differently, same face syndrome fears ME/j

[nmakii]

GETTING CAUGHT IN THE MOMENT… LIPSTICK ON YOUR FACE

— alastor + lucifer + vox getting caught with lipstick stains all over them…

— generally gn!reader. guys can wear lipstick too smh

hehe i got a new lip tint (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵) maybe alastor’s part is a little self-projected

— alastor

alastor himself isn’t one for physical affection. in fact, the thought itself makes him feel dirty. someone else’s skin against his… eugh…

though, when it came to you, he couldn’t keep his hands to himself; hands clawing and playing with your hair, wrapping his arms around your neck, pinching your cute cheeks, holding your hand… it’s almost as if he’d double-die without you near!

and the only thing he’d enjoy more than that would be having his affection reciprocated; interlocking your arm with his, a surprise hug from behind, a kiss on the cheek, they are all more than appreciated! especially the thing about kissing…

a kiss from you is simply just exhilarating. the suddenness yet sweetness of it, it’s truly the purest form of love, regardless of if it’s familial, romantic, or platonic— it’s the purest expression of your love for another person.

so, just imagine alastor’s reaction to your new lipstick, strawberry red to give your lips a glossy color, yet still light enough to appear natural. the pretty hue of red complimenting your face features perfectly by giving it the color it needs as to not appear pale.

absolutely gorgeous. so confusing how a simple amount of color could make you look as if you were an angel from heaven itself. you quite literally took his breath away from just applying a new lipstick…

at some point, alastor had reached some sort of limit when he finally caved into his inner desires, bringing you to a secluded place in the hotel, his hands moving to your hips and hair.

he couldn’t wait any longer to place his lips on your’s, your lipstick smearing all over his thin lips. kissing him from his cheeks to his jawline, leaving light pink stains all over his skin.

he groaned at the feeling of wet lipstick all over his face, and at the same time reveled in the ways you are telling everyone that the only one who could see the radio demon in such a needy and doe-like state would be you; he’d be yours to fool around with, and yours to do however you’d see fit. just as you are his— no one else’s. the smeared lipstick on the side of your lips should send that as a statement enough to whatever lowlife hooligan would even attempt to sweep you off your feet.

when the two of you had returned, it was a strange sight to say the least… alastor’s face and jaw covered with pink lips, and you with your lipstick smudged and smeared off your lips, instead all over you neck.

“well, uh… you two look like ‘ya had lot’sa fun…” angel said monotonously, awkwardly trying to keep up conversation. “ohh, most certainly!” alastor grinned, his transatlantic accent popping through the radio static.

he knows he could’ve wiped it off… he has a handkerchief in his back pocket, he could’ve easily saved himself that awkward conversation.

but, he didn’t.

could you blame him? he wants all of hell to know that both you and him off-limits for good.

— lucifer

when many imagine the king of hell, it’s hard to think he’d be a social piranha. the same case had gone for you.

who knew lucifer was still as pure of heart as he was during his time in heaven? and who knew he’d fall for someone so easily after the sudden disappearance of his wife?

when he saw you, it was practically love at first sight! your big eyes, your shiny hair, and those big pretty lips of yours that he just wanted to kiss so badly…

he listened carefully as charlie introduced you to him, trying to remember every detail about you and every feature on your face, stuttering over his words once it was time to speak for himself.

and somehow, despite his meekness towards you and your awkwardness whenever he was around, you two ended up in a relationship— with the help of vaggie and charlie’s meddling in pushing you two together.

the two of you loved each other, of course… but it was always hard to express. the only way lucifer knew how to show his love was through his presence and gifts. he wasn’t hell’s greatest kisser, but he tries.

and, today— it was your 5 month anniversary… quite a long time, the hotel’s been good so far, no major threats other than one of cherri bomb’s occasional explosions. and because of how long it’s been, you decided to do something a little special… put on some relatively expensive clothes and make-up your face a little bit.

when lucifer saw you all dolled up, he was honestly a little stunned. lips as red as an apple, hair as soft as silk, the words were stuck in his mouth. “w- er- wow..! i’m not dressed up or anything— agh, this is awkward..” lucifer muttered. “hey, it’s ok… this was a surprise for you, y’know?” you said, comforting him slightly.

“you look… stunning today” he smiled, carefully putting down his anniversary present for you on his work desk, still wrapped in a red ribbon. he made his way to you, hands making their way to your cheeks to softly cup them as he gently leaned into you for a kiss.

he released a breath he didn’t know he had been holding as you kissed his face all over, as if healing the wounds of his past with his present. his banishment into hell, lilith’s abandonment, they all didn’t matter anymore, you are the present and the future.

he wrapped his arms around your waist in a hug as he kissed your forehead, the residual lipstick from his lips smeared onto you.

lucifer laughed awkwardly before using his finger to carefully rub off the pink stains on your forehead. “haha… c’mon, i got a dinner reservation in the lust ring tonight…” he laughed, interlocking his arm with yours.

“don’t you wanna take off that lipstick on your face first?” you raised an eyebrow at him. “i mean… i dont minddd… so, it’s only if you wanna take if off” his eyes wandered, his cheeks growing flustered “hmm… nah. i want everyone to know you belong to me now.” you grinned mischievously.

and when the two of you walked out of the hotel lobby, charlie went to wish you a safe trip and happy anniversary before she noticed the stains on her dad’s face. “err… dad..? you gotta a little something there…” charlie muttered as she pointed all over his face. “ah..? yeah, i know” he laughed it off, proudly showing off to hell how hopelessly devoted he is to you.

— vox

vox was a busy man. from having many public appearances, to coming up with new ideas for voxtek, to putting out valentino’s temper tantrums, he barely had the time for romance.

barely. he loved you, truly. he keeps you dear to his heart, no matter how busy he’d be, vox would still make time for you late at night.

everyone had known you, why wouldn’t they? you’re the partner of one of the most influential overlords in hell, that’s a feat that is amazing to accomplish, dating vox in itself has made you into a sort of local celebrity; causing you to be invited to many galas, parties, and occasional raves.

and tonight happened to be the night of one of those parties. zestial had invited you to a formal dinner party, an all star guest list filled by many of the goetic princes, various overlords in hell, and other local hellborns such as verosika mayday.

“please, voxxx? just this once, it’s only like 3 hours!” you grumble as your apply a coat of ruby red over your lips, checking your appearance in the bathroom mirror. “i can’t.. i have a 5:00 with val and velvette, then after that, a board meeting about new gadgets to release…” vox groaned, already pissed about the day ahead.

“fine then, your loss.” you pouted, rolling your eyes as you left the bathroom and into the bedroom. “holy shit…” vox sighed out. “you look… really good, my love.” he walked over to you, his hands moving to your body, outlining the clothes’ stitching as he recognized it to be the one he had custom-made for you.

your hands rested on vox’s shoulders, forcibly making him lean over a bit before leaving various kiss stains all over his screen.

vox visibly tensed as his screen started glowing a bright teal, showing his clear embarrassment as pink smudges fogged his screen.

his breath heaved as his hands moved all around your body, desperate to find some kind of relief to his pent-up stress.

ending your kiss attack all too soon on his lips, you pulled away, your lips slightly pale now as you grinned at him. “spend the day looking like that and i’ll give you more after work” you winked, taking your belongings and leaving out the door, leaving a flustered vox in your bedroom, covered with lipstick stains.

“vox… the fuck is going on with your face?” velvette snarled. “it looks as if you got fucking mauled by a bear pretending to be a woman.” she yelled, her british accent making her trip over some consonants.

vox sighed, hearing valentino mutter some sort of dirty comparison of vox to a prostitute. “instead of focusing on me, why don’t you put your efforts into our agenda today?” vox frowned, his tone clearly saying that he’s holding himself back from releasing a flood of curses onto the two…

[precure1ove-archive]

crush panic w/ nrc

byi : no grim or ortho, may be ooc, crack?, fluff, not edited, completely self indulgent everything is intended as romantic

a/n : new theme how we feeling!! my favourite is loser as its the most fun to write. im thinking of making a second part on how they confess if this does well

an absolute loser in love

he has absolutely fallen head over heels for you and now has no idea how to act normal around you anymore. the slightest bit of physical contact or praise will send him into shock, and later cause no sleep at night because he over thinks that one moment again and again. “does that mean they like me too? Or are they just being friendly?” 

yeah there's no hope for him. he acts super awkward around you, stuttering, laughing randomly, no he isn't blushing it's just suddenly hot all of the sudden-in the middle of the coldest season-he always agonizes over why he can't just act cool in front of you. during classes, if you're in his you bet he’ll just stare at you from afar, and if you're in his well he discreetly glances at you every now and then not knowing that you can clearly see him looking at you-though you don't seem to mind finding it cute.

and if you tell him that he’ll go bright red and avert his gaze “haha.. uh thanks.. I think?” cue screaming into a pillow later at night.

deuce, idia, azul, riddle, sebek + ur fav

stage five complete and utter denial

he's in complete denial. there's no way that he likes you, he must be getting sick that's why his heart beats fast when you're near with his cheeks burning a bright red. he makes it his entire goal to try and lose feelings for you, so he creates a list of all your good and bad attributions-unsurprisingly all the negative ones turn out not so bad when he puts thought into it it ...what the hell is he thinking? 

it may take a while for him to accept his feelings, so you're gonna have to endure glares when passing or in class and possible snarky comments thrown at you. However, if he hears someone is mean to you, crush be damned he can only do that to you. He tries to act completely uninterested in you, a way to fool himself that he does not like you, but the second he hears any bit of gossip he's suddenly interested. 

he looks at you weirdly, flustered at your question “uh... why am i suddenly interested in who you were with.. no reason.”

leona, ace, vil, ruggie + ur fav

doesn't realise he has a crush

oh spare this oblivious boy, he hasn't ever really liked someone before so he doesn’t know that wanting to spend more time with you, fussing over your well-being, thinking of you and how much better it would be if you were here is not what platonic friends should be thinking-especially if those thoughts lead to how would your lips feel.

someone would have to straight up tell him that he has a crush on you or he would never figure it out for himself and go on with his life never confessing. when someone finally does tell him, he’ll notice how different he really acts, catching himself waiting for your messages and dropping everything once you text back. you also get the added bonus of finally seeing him flustered! since he's in the stage of actually being involved in having a crush, every touch, smile, or praise is enough to make his face and ears turn red.

“wait so you mean wanting to kiss them is not normal?” he pauses and rethinks everything he thought about you.

silver, kalim, malleus, jack + ur fav

quick to show off to impress you

he doesn't believe he can win your heart with his personality so he works extra hard on stuff he knows he can do well-better than the average person-he believes if he impresses you by this he has a chance. surprisingly he acts rather normal with you, excluding the way he's more relaxed with your presence and the constant flush on his face.

he's rather quick to recognise his crush on you and he's even more quick to decide he needs to make himself an available suitor in your eyes. you’ve gotten used to your name being called out across the halls from him, strutting over to you to show you what he made or did last night-he'll become flustered if you praise him shrugging it off with flimsy excuses until he gets back into what he originally wanted to share albeit with a slight red face. what's even better is if he invites you out to come try it with him, enjoying the chance to spend time with you and show off in real time what he can do.

“what do you think of this, isn't it impressive? you really think so.. haha..”

trey, cater, jamil, epel + ur fav

he goes straight to courting you

he's the first to notice his change in feelings for you from platonic to romantic instantly and wastes no time to try and court you. he starts greeting you daily, offering you gifts, takes you out with the excuse of needing help and you find yourself out at a restaurant eating expensive food and wonder how the hell did you end up here when he needed a book? 

you will never catch this boy being flustered instead you'll find yourself stuttering while turning a bright red. if you enact physical contact or compliment him he flashes you a mischievous smile and teases you for ‘finally falling for him’.. no, that was not a joke. despite all the teasing he does genuinely care about you and goes out of his way to buy or make stuff he'll think you'll like, your reaction to his displays of courting amuses him especially when you make such cute faces at him. courting is just a way for him to make his feelings known, after all you were his the moment he caught feelings.

“hm.. how did we end up at a restaurant.. does it matter? now what did you choose for the meal?”

jade, rook, lilia

there's no crush. you're dating

floyd has never experienced the crush stage and he doesn't want to after all that's boring. why wait thinking about coincidental glances, and accidental contact when he knows he likes you and you like him! he's fast to let you know his feelings and won't take no for an answer why would you reject him if you like him. 

now that you think about it, you're not even sure floyd even asked you out. he just sort of grabbed your hand, said 'you're mine' and you both went to get food. so well done you're in a not relationship-relationship with a giant eel! floyd feels like he can never get bored being with you and is always by your side, or on since he's a fan of physical touch and will have some part of him touching you-an arm on your waist, legs over his, head tucked into your neck-the only time he's away from you is if jade or azul need him for the lounge and that's only for a few moments until you're also called by them to keep floyd in the lounge.

“huh, do i like you?” floyd glances at you briefly before grumbling, “we literally made out this morning and you're asking if i like you shrimpy.”

floyd

likes & reblogs appreciated

masterlist⠀ — ⠀ request here

[astrow1zar6]

Astro Observations~51

A lot of people with a mars square Venus I notice tend to be bisexual/homosexual ( especially if you have a Scorpio Venus and a mars in Aquarius) I also tend to notice these ppl have an issue with cheating in relationships. They usually grow up seeing a lot of dysfunction in relationships.

People you share that you share a lot of 5th house overlays with can make you laugh like no other

Mars in Taurus people usually prefer ppl who are more submissive. Ppl with stronger personalities throw them off. They usually prefer to be the more dominant one in their relationships (platonic & romantic)

Usually people with a Capricorn rising also have Neptune in the 1st house

Venus in Sagittarius’s people can be more open with dating more than one person. Very adventurous in love. More likely to date someone with a different cultural background than themselves.

People with a lot of 5th house placements are easily aroused/ have a lot of hookups. They also tend to develop crushes easily and have a lot of ppl who have crushes on them (especially Venus and mars in 5th house).

Venus/mars in libra usually develop crushes on anyone who’s mildly attractive and give them attention. Very easy to impress.

Venus in the 12th house have such a hard time in romantic relationships. They have this clear image of the perfect person but end up with really abusive mentally ill partners in return. Most of their spiritual growth comes from failed relationships.

You tend to act like your 12th house sign while young and as you age you grow into your 1st house/rising sign.

Gemini risings either never shut up or are as quiet as a church mouse.. no in between

Libra suns with a Scorpio Venus are WHORESSS

Pisces moons can be very codependent on others. A lot I notice struggle with being independent they try to escape from responsibility a lot and struggle with the practical areas of life. I also notice this with cancer moons as well but not as bad.

Cancer moon men are big mommas boys

Leo moons were usually spoiled a lot by their mothers. Other siblings could’ve felt they were the favorite child

Mars in Leo’s love language usually is words of affirmation. They love when others acknowledge how good they are at something or how attractive they are. Can take criticism a lot harder than most.

Mercury in the 12th house can make you feel like you are a shadow. When you speak people usually never listen or make you feel like your thoughts are un important

Venus in Virgos are by far the most selfless in love. They will give you the world if they love you. However they are usually treated very poorly in love:( they are the best people to date but have such sucky luck in the love department and their love is usually very one sided. the definition of “nice guys finish last”

Saturn in the 7th house people usually fall in love with others that don’t feel the same way about them

Leo suns thrive off of attention whether the attention is good or bad. They just want to be acknowledged so bad.

Venus in Libra women tend to act dumb to seem more attractive to men

Venus in Taurus’s love language is cooking for their partner & they are usually amazing cooks!

Taurus placements can be big haters when insecure. They have a tendency to project their insecurities onto others.

February Pisces act more like the stereotype definition of Pisces. They are a lot more naive and emotional and more hopeless romantics than the March ones. The March ones are more nonchalant, reserved about emotions and independent!

Saturn in the 5th house native usually don’t start dating until much later in life. They can be kinda awkward when it comes to love. Can choose to lose their virginity later in life. They can come off as lacking a lot of depth and be very vague when talking to someone they are into (even if deep down they are very deep). They also tend to waste their talents most ppl with this placement tend to be incredibly talented but don’t use it out of insecurity.

Having an empty house in your chart can make that area of your life not as significant to you or it doesn’t come as naturally (eg; empty 10th house can struggle to find a career they are passionate about or they aren’t too ambitious in that area)

People with a lot of 12th house placement are super secretive, they hate when others know too much about them. Can put on an act or hide their personality from others a lot.

Venus in the 5th house people are super charming. They can be grotesque and still pull the baddest bitch I swear.

Venus in Libra women either are disgusted by women who come off as too masculine or are super intrigued by them

Mars in Pisces are more likely to get bullied by others because of how passive they are. They have a harder time standing up for themselves and hate conflict. This can cause them to get walked on a lot.

Capricorn moons can come off as lacking empathy. Really hard people to open up to emotionally because they always look super uncomfortable and can make you feel awkward for being vulnerable.

Aqua Venus/moons cut off game is CRAZY, once they’re done with you it’s like you never existed to them. Your existence is erased from their mind. You can be close with them for years and they’ll leave like you meant nothing to them if you really fuck up

Fire suns really like talking about themselves. They can talk about what they are good at for hoursss.

Aries suns have a big main character complex.

Aries suns, moon & Venus women can have a hard time being feminine. Even if they are all dolled up all the time they have very masculine personalities usually. They also hate girls who are very pick mes

Air Venus’s get the ick more than most Venus signs. Which is why they are considered players

Moon in Aries have great eyebrows

[tanaor]

Want quick tips to add instant chemistry to the relationships of your characters??

(🥳With examples🥳)

First of all, I want to say that you can also use most of them for platonic/ non-romantic relationships, so feel free to use this tips however you think they might work better in your story. So, without further adue, let's get to the tips!!!

Make your characters LISTEN to each other. Like, if A tells B they're not a morning person, B could make some coffee for A or lower the volume of their alarm.

This might sound quite obvious, but show that you characters care for each other. It might be as simple as one of them giving the other a glass of water when they feel a little dizzy, but it works wonders!

Make your characters physically close. When you are emotionally close to someone, you tend to be physically close too. But here is the thing. Make your characters react like it's second nature: "how would I not hug B when I haven't seen them in days?" or "Of course I'm gonna take A's hand when I feel afraid".

They don't have to be constantly thinking about each other, but when they do, MAKE IT MATTER!! For example, character A is out shopping, and they see B's favorite cookies. B didn't have a good day, and A knows that. But A also knows B is gonna fucking love the cookies, so they buy some.

Let them believe and trust each other. Also applies if one of them is a little distrustful: let your characters rely on one another, even if at the start they aren't as comfortable doing it. For a distrustful character, letting the other one help with chores might be a HUGE thing.

Other tips for writers: previous | next

[controld3vil]

midnight snack

pairings: yelena belova, bucky barnes , john walker, robert reynolds/sentry, ava starr/ghost, tony masters/taskmaster (comic), alexei shokstakov/red guardian x gn!thunderbolts!reader (separate)

synopsis: You’re one of the stealthiest members and they catch you making a midnight snack.

notes -> ive never written for marvel before!! tags: inaccurate characterization/take it w/ a grain of salt, i have NOT seen the film, reader is part of the thunderbolts, mentions of minor injuries; canon typical violence, reader making midnight snacks (grilled cheese w/ jam, s’mores dipped in peanut, cheesy noodles w/ cream cheese, chip sandwich, mixed cereal, ice cream w/ cookies), headcanons can be seen either platonic/romantic!

YELENA BEVOLA

-> is consciously disturbed by it. she always feared that your name, reputation, and expertise are not something to laugh about. hell, coming from her, that is enough to say you were beyond her level. however, the obscurity of seeing you making a grilled cheese… with jam? that blows her mind out of proportion.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to eat that…” Yelena doesn’t even attempt to hide her disgusted look. What you’re doing is absurd. Even more, she has always respected your name, representing the standard of Hydra operations that they have always been proud of. She had expected to see you in the morning. Instead, she finds you leaning over the counter, cuts, bruises in all, while you were making a sandwich for yourself.

It wasn’t particularly what you were doing that startled her. Yelena has seen you make a variety of sandwiches — the simple turkey club, egg salad, tuna, and all you’ve seemed to master. You always packed pretty lunch boxes for yourself. It was a simple way to stay motivated. But the jam? The thought of combining grilled cheese with sweet strawberry syrup makes her stomach grimace.

You look at your blonde friend steadily. “I’m hungry, though.” You say, unfazed by the abomination you were making. “I didn’t know what else to make.”

“I could think of plenty of things you can make besides that,” She sneers, almost offended by what you created. You shrug, casually, not even caring about Yelena’s persistent glares.

BUCKY BARNES

-> is confused. so confused about your choice in cravings. he’s survived scarce military rations during the war. the food back then was bland and lacked nutrition, but it was all he had during those grueling days of fighting. he’s survived times when food was difficult to salvage. but you, dipping homemade s'mores into peanut butter?

He doesn’t know what to say. What the hell? No. What the fuck? Too much.

“What are you making?” Bucky questions, dragging the last part partially too long as if he was unsure if he should’ve asked or not. The whole scenario was bizarre. Because never would he, Bucky, catch you doing something like this.

You were just like the rest of them, ruthless killers with no place to call home. Yet along the way, you’ve connected and called it friendship. Bucky especially favored you, believe it or not, because of your kind-hearted spirit. 

“I was craving s’mores!” You raised your hands, holding one s’more between your fingers. “But when I bit into it, it tasted like something was missing…” It was almost comical how innocent you looked during this confrontation. You were still in your tactical suit, with your weapons and all. Your face looked vaguely exhausted, with your droopy eyes and smile.

“So you thought peanut butter could fix it?” The ex-Hydra assassin looked in disbelief, unable to piece together how the two could possibly be a good combination.

“It’s actually good if you try it.” You blink before catching Bucky slowly backing away. “Hey! It is good!”

JOHN WALKER

-> looks at you like a disappointed dad. trust me, he’s seen one too many mishaps from his son. he knows kids playing with their food is normal. how many times has he seen his kid splash spaghetti all over the table? the only difference between you is — well, you’re an adult, a very skilled assassin who could make people disappear without a trace.

“Uh— What the hell are you doing?” John walks into the kitchen with squinted eyes. The bright ceiling lights were blinding him, as his eyes were still trying to adjust to the brightness.

“Making dinner?” As you continued to stir the boiling pot of noodles you cooked up. It didn’t look out of the ordinary, you were cooking instant noodles, thinking it was the quickest meal you could make.

“Yeah, I know that,” the super-soldier points to the opened package of American cheese. “But why the hell do you need cheese?” Shortly after, he noticed the jar of cream cheese you had by the boiling pot. What?

“I saw a video online where putting cheese and sour cream in your noodles would taste better.” You explained simply. Because there was no other way to put it. John looks at you with mild disgust, with one eye scrunched and a frown beginning to form. It was as if his expression was saying, “What is wrong with you?”

“Well, does it?”

“I don’t know! So I’m going to try it.”

“You’re insane.” He doesn’t give you the pleasure of giving you a face palm, knowing you would be annoyingly satisfied with his distaste. Instead, he grumbles like any parent would when their child makes a mess. “You better clean up after yourself.”

ROBERT REYNOLDS/SENTRY

-> genuinely curious what you’re up to! he may seem scared at first, but will eventually show that he is more curious, that’s all! he’s never had such a domestic conversation with you before, so don’t be so quick to jump to conclusions! will occasionally ask about your odd cravings, as if they’re not the most grotesque creations you’ve made, but more so to understand you better.

“This is…new.” Bob appears out of the corner of the island table as you grab two plain pieces of bread. He’s become used to you returning around this time, at the dead of night. Most of the time, he’s awake with his mind too occupied to fall asleep. At times, he’s afraid to walk outside his room, not wanting to disturb the rest of the team’s deep slumber. But on particular nights, when he knows you’re coming back from a grueling operation, he waits for you.

“I saw it from someone on YouTube,” you placed the two pieces of toast into the toaster, dialing the heat to medium. Once you confirmed the temperature, you walked towards the cupboard where all the dry snacks were and scanned the selection. “Thought I’d give it a try.”

“Sounds… good.” Bob didn’t know how to respond. He had never had this kind of experience with food before. Food was always prepared for him in a monolithic and minimalistic fashion. The same proportions and items every day. The more he thought about it, it made him feel like a prisoner, a person out of his skin.

So seeing you, being carefree about what to eat, makes him feel something. Not in a bad way, but a strange, warm feeling. Even if you don’t realize it, he’s probably more attached to you than anyone else in the team because of how relaxed you are with him. You don’t throw insults or glare his way. You just exist, treat him as a human being. Make odd-looking meals in front of him like he’s another friend witnessing one of your many creations.

When the timer runs off, you carefully pull the two pieces onto your plate and lay them next to each other. He watches as you open the bag of your preferred chips and place them neatly on one side. With the other piece of toast, you place it on top, putting pressure on the sandwich. He hears the crinkling of the chips as a few pieces fall out. 

It wasn’t the most exquisite-looking meal. But it wasn’t the worst he’s seen.

“Would you like to try?”

AVA STARR/GHOST

-> the only person who tolerates your creative mind. under her tough exterior, ava cares for the people close to her. no matter how broken or messed up they are, she’ll still choose them. including you, so no matter how strange your meals were, she won’t say anything bad. out of the corner of your eye, she’ll give you a strange look, but otherwise she won’t go any further than that. 

“Whatcha got there?” Even you sometimes had to double-check the corners of the room for Ava. She was quick and could faze through walls, the perfect ability for an assassin. However, you’re glad you trusted your intuition, half-expecting her to pop up eventually. Ava does not look as tired as you expected. Rather, she looks oddly calm and relaxed in her casual wear. 

“Cereal,” You plopped one box of Toast Crunch beside you. However, you know she’s eyeing the Coco Puffs sitting next to your bowl. Do you want a sugar rush? 

“That’s a lot of sugar, don’t you think?” The ex-agent nudges playfully, choosing to sit across from you. She rests her elbow on the granite table, leaning her chin onto her palm. 

“I’m a sweet person,” You grin to yourself before momentarily letting out an agonized groan. Your friend stands up, giving you a sympathetic look. “Ah, it’s okay, I’m fine.” 

“You sure?” Ava inspects you with clean precision. The way you hold your tricep meant something more. You were hurt badly. “You may want to lay off the cereal, then. Let me help you get to the medics.” 

You shake your head, insistent on staying where you were. “It’s alright, it’s not that bad.”

“Let me at least look at it first.” She doesn’t leave you a second to refuse. Ava is swift on her toes, grabbing the emergency medical kit on the top shelf. Turning back to you, she fixes you with a gaze, firm yet gentle. “Come on, you have your cereal after I patch you up.” 

TONY MASTERS/TASKMASTER

-> leaves you be. tony isn’t the type of person to barge into your business. but since getting to know you, you’re absolutely certain he’s growing to become comfortable around you. the way he walks over with quiet concern, or offers a slight nod whenever you ask a question. tony is a scarred man, yet somehow you’re able to bring out some kind of softness in him. 

You came home to a quiet kitchen. You hadn’t intended on returning so soon, but due to the nature of your work, sometimes you made choices less advantageous. You’re hurt, bleeding from your head, most likely from a concussion. The medics reaffirmed that you should rest in the meantime. Bucky would not be so pleased to see you so soon. 

You were busy, scooping the last clump of ice cream into your bowl. All day, you couldn’t stop thinking about ice cream, especially cookies and cream, topped with chunks of chocolate chip cookies and syrup. You knew it was a bit of a stretch to add cookies, but your mind was elsewhere already once you added them on top of your dessert. 

Tony was there somewhere the entire time. Whether your mind was too fuzzy or you had no intention of asking why he was standing by the doorway for so long, you didn’t care. All you wanted at that moment was to eat your ice cream in peace. 

Eventually, halfway through your meal, you finally address him. “I know you don’t speak, but you don’t have to just stand there and watch me eat like some animal.” Your eyes lock with his blank mask. You often found yourself talking aloud more around Tony because of his lack of expression. “Come sit.” 

Tony threads out of the shadows like a predator hidden behind the bushes. His steps are intentional, short, and steady. You’ve never seen him out of his suit and mask. It was almost like he wasn’t human, never once allowing his guard down. 

You glance at him, catching the way he’s frozen mid-stepped, scanning you like he’s accessing every wound.

You rub the back of your neck, a hint of embarrassment in your gesture. “It went…bad.” His stillness urged you to go on.. “I didn’t see the bomb. The ceiling came down on me… actually, multiple floors did.” The silence in between your words made the weight of your injuries feel heavier. You glanced back at your ice cream, slowly melting away. 

You feel his hesitancy to move closer, feeling the sense of guilt and frustration through your words. 

“I got checked– they said I needed some rest, that’s all.” You gave a small smile, knowing he could see right through you. Suddenly, the simple act of eating ice cream left an uneasy twist in your stomach. The silence was almost unbearable. You felt you couldn’t look at him properly, knowing now he’s a witness to your failure– your injuries. 

You were careless. Reckless. If you had taken a second longer to search the building, you could’ve avoided the bomb from going off. The more your thoughts consume you, the more you feel bad about yourself. 

Then you spot a vial near the edge of the table, right where Tony stood. However, when you looked around, he was already gone. You pick it up, eyes scanning the bottle.

Pain relief.

ALEXEI SHOSTAKOV/RED GUARDIAN

-> supportive about it! he’s very caring about your well-being, so he doesn’t judge you with whatever you make. as long as you're happy eating it, he’s alright about it. but if there is any chance that he catches you, returning home in a battered state, he will 100% make you a meal. that’s just the dad in him.

“You’re back!” You bring yourself to give him a weak smile, before he engulfs you in a hug. Alexei is one of those people who are naturally affectionate and are not afraid to show it. That’s what you think, at least. 

“I thought you would be asleep by now.” You unlatch yourself from his bear-like grip. The Russian man has started to cook something, which makes you question if he knew you were coming home later tonight. 

“The rest are asleep! But me? No, I could never have you come back on an empty stomach!” Now you see the apron he’s wearing, and the faint smoke coming from the stove. You couldn’t say no now, not while Alexei put all this effort into making you dinner. You owed him big time. 

You found yourself a seat, while the Red Guardian’s back was facing you. Whatever he was making smelled good. It had a rich flavor like barbeque, but better. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were until he placed a plate in front of you. 

“Thanks… Alexei. You didn’t have to.” Your stomach grumbled in protest, weak at the aroma of perfectly grilled skewers, fluffy rice, and tangy pickled vegetables. You caught your teammate’s intense gaze as you grabbed a fork and speared a piece of the meat. 

“Wow, this is good,” 

“Of course it is! I made it!” 

“I didn’t know you could cook.” You pulled the skewers free of the meat, digging in with mouthfuls of rice and tangy vegetables. The warmth settled your hunger. You’re able to sleep tonight. All thanks to Alexei. 

“I’ve been practicing!” he said with a booming laugh, wiping his hands on a clean towel. “It’s my specialty– so you don’t have to make any more of those monstrosities when you get home!”

You paused, looking up at him, surprised. “I thought you liked them!”

“I do, I do! But you know– sometimes I think it’s better to eat real, digestible food.”