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laufire · 5 years ago

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I love when I win XDD. Ok, so, let's see: Eleanor Shellstrop, Lizzie Saltzman, Rosita from WEarp, Alisson Argent (one of my best friends was an Alisson stan in rl, and I used to be sick of hearing how awesome she was), Cersei Lannister and Echo from T100

EleanorShellstrop

This is thefirst time I really stop to think of Eleanor this way and… huh. I think she’s aVimes, which is not exactly what I would’ve expected xD (I guess it makessense, because a few Eleanor/Tony parallels had already ~pinged my radar lol).

There’s asimilar tired cynicism, just walking ahead in life with this sense ofnothing-really-matters, despite clearly being dissatisfied about it on somelevel (Vimes is a lot more self-aware than Eleanor, for one). Both have a “wakeup call” later in life when it’s (almost) too late, and after that you get tosee them taking charge, indignant about the faults of the system, etc. I evensee parallels between the Eleanor-Michael and Vimes-Vetinari dynamics (thisunofficial “mentor”, and how they transform each other’s worldviews).

LizzieSaltzman

The obviousone is Caroline, duh, and ofc there’s plenty of Caroline in her lol. But Ithink I see some Lana too? It’s not as obvious, it’s not really about anything she’ssaid or done just… a vibe. Maybe it’s just the actress, idk. I haven’t put myfinger on it, I’ll tell you if/when I do :P

Also, herresentment over the Alaric-Hope situation is very, very Jason with Bruce-Dicklol.

RositaBustillos

A Jason. Nodoubt in my mind. First, she’s a nerd (science nerd and not literature nerd,but still). And ofc, how her “origins” separate her from the core clan (Batfam/TeamEarp), put her at odds with them, make her feel she’s expendable for them (and she’sright here, unlike Jason). All culminating with her crossing A Line that breaksher relationship with them.

AllisonArgent

(I feel foryour friend lol. Allison’s death literally changed the way I get invested incharacters & shows xDD)

She’sALWAYS reminded me of Lana. Always. A Lana with a rushed arc, that met thetragic ended Lana avoided (most of the Lana types I’ve met so far had tragicendings, while Lana, original Tragedy Girl, swiftly avoided it lol). “Dark” arcincluded (and I guess Gerard would be her Lionel, sorta? It’s been a long timesince I watched these shows lol). Clark/Lana and Allison/Scott have a lot incommon too, imo. That Magic & destructive power of that first, True Love.Allison’s and Lana’s fears about being “weak”, the pressure they felt to bePerfect™. My bby girls.

CerseiLannister

If therewas ever a cautionary tale for how bad things could’ve gone for Caroline… I knowthis is an extremely controversial opinion, but I don’t think people realizedhow terrible SC would’ve ended for her, if it wasn’t for Klaus appearing andtransforming how the writers felt about SE. But Caroline stuck with a guy sheused to hero-worship but that was still obsessed with his past love, who hecouldn’t have for some reason, and in turn mistreated her? INCREDIBLE LIKELY,imo (Mellie Grant is another example for this, like I’ve told you).

ETA: after a conversation in the tags, I want to say it here (so it can be read by everyone), that Rhaegar=Stefan and Robert=Matt is a perfect parallel too xDD

Butbasically, yeah. The “dreams” they had when it came to men & how they wereshattered, the mean streak present in both from early on, the ambition andhunger. How they grasped power (vampirism for Caroline) and didn’t let go.Their approach to soft vs. hard power strikes me as similar too.

Echo kom Azgeda

I do see bothCaroline and Jason in her. From Caroline, her quick thinking, the leaps oflogic they make (T100’s s6 main plot is basically Katherine-in-Elena’sbody-snatch situation lol, and Echo figured out in two seconds flat once shestumbled into the first inconsistence –which I predicted. I literally said “Echo had to be absent from this episode because she would’ve figured out in two seconds flat”, and what do you, next episode she does just that xD–, just like Caroline did. It reminded meof how Caroline figured out the DE sire-bond too). Their willingness to carryout Tough Choices, how they cling to a notion of Their People.

BTW,recently there was an Echo Appreciation Week, and while I was making thosegifsets I noticed Echo sorta reminds me of Lizzie LMFAO. Something about the actresses’ expressions, body language etc. Plus there’s this AMAZING scene whereEcho just walks up to a guy and stabs him in the stomach with a sword, saying “Hesitationis death”, and while editing it I kept remember when Lizzie just walked up andstabbed Landon without a second thought xD. As a bonus? Landon’s body died, buthe could come back because he’s a Phoenix. The dude Echo stabbed is abody-snatcher, so while that body died, his chip could be put on someone else (also,Echo used said cheap as leverage against his mother. She makes me proud

With Jasonthere’s how they were made to take someone else’s name/mantel as children, howshe made that Her Identity, how her leader let her down & banished her whenhe thought she’d gone “too far”. How she keeps reinventing herself. The arc isout of order, but the emotional beats are so there. I guess Queen Nia could beher Talia too, thankfully without the sex xDD. And the way the conflict betweenher and Raven in s5 (aka Echo wanting to kill a dude Raven was getting investedon for valid strategic reasons xD) is not dissimilar to Dick and Jason’s dynamic imo(Echo at least is not alone being the Morally Dubious One Pushing For Murder AsA Solution in her new family! Murphy reminds me a lot of Jason too. So doesEmori. LOL).

#missbrunettebarbie #replies #talking to the void #my thoughts #everything i love is the same #eleanor shellstrop #lizzie saltzman #rosita bustillos #allison argent #cersei lannister #echo kom azgeda #caroline forbes #sam vimes #jason todd #lana lang #this was super fun to do thanks :DDD

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courtingstars · 5 years ago

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Notes for The Road Before Us (MidoTaka)

So… Wow. I kind of can’t believe this is the last chapter. And I have to say, this one was a ride—or at least it was for me to write, anyway. //laughs Which seems appropriate, given the overall themes. And it also feels appropriate to be posting it on New Year’s Eve, given what the story ended up being about.

I knew this chapter would be the longest, once I realized some of the things I wanted to include in it. And that hopefully it would include pretty much everything I love the most about MidoTaka, and also about KnB in general. I don’t know how well I pulled that off, but I definitely got emotional writing it. <3

As a matter of fact, the first fic I ever wrote for KnB was a MidoTaka fic! (It’s here on my Tumblr, but I never even posted it to Ao3.) I haven’t written nearly as much about them as I have for some other pairings. Still, I kind of feel like I got my start in the fandom with MidoTaka, and I have a LOT of feelings about them, for all kinds of reasons. So I really, really loved getting to write a chapter about these two, being super amazing partners and also really super in love, and hopefully it shows. <3

I do have some of my usual notes this time around, mostly a few cultural things. (And also some random flailing, about FINALLY getting to write about certain things I’ve had swirling around in my head for a long time. XD) I might write a different post later about this fic overall, and how it turned into something I honestly wasn’t expecting… But for now, let’s get on with the MidoTaka goodness!

(Cut for rambling about things like family headcanons, a few Japanese winter foods, lucky pencils, Takao’s nerdy card hobby, and the symbolism of five yen coins…)

Family Headcanons

This isn’t really a proper note, just some goofy flailing because I FINALLY GOT TO WRITE ABOUT MIDORIMA AND TAKAO’S FAMILIES, HURRAY. I’m also so unbelievably happy that there was a cameo with Midorima’s little sister! I love her so much, especially that she likes nail art. (I have a pointless headcanon that Midorima borrows nail files from her. xD) I’m also overjoyed that I FINALLY got to mention that I headcanon Midorima’s mother as being a surgeon, and his father as a scientist. Because super-successful overachieving green family, that’s why? //laughs

(In case it wasn’t obvious already, I am way, WAY too into family headcanons… There’s probably nothing I love more than coming up with what a character’s family might be like, and how they fit into their family dynamic. To the point that I have a TON of ideas about all of the GoM’s families, some of which I hinted at throughout this story… Because apparently I can’t help myself anymore. XD)

The Rear Car

This is also not a proper note in any way, but… I’m just so happy that the rear car is in this! XDD I hinted at a few personal headcanons about it in the chapter, including that they don’t use it regularly by their third year in high school. But it just seemed like it couldn’t be a MidoTaka fic without it, so I’m overjoyed that I was able to come up with a way to work it into a holiday fic…

… And because I’m a nerd, I love it even more because it just fits the “Sleigh Ride” theme SO PERFECTLY. XD It’s been a while, but I think that was even how I decided on the carol for the fic in the first place? Like, “OMG maybe Takao could decorate the rear car and they could ride around in it and it would be sort of like the song and that way the last chapter actually fits the most and IT’S PERFECT?!” Ah, the things I get excited about as a nerdy writer. //laughs

Hot Water Bottle Covers

… I’m not really sure if I should even make this a note, honestly. XD But I happened to get the idea for the cutesy hot water bottle covers that look like animals while I was doing a search for the Japanese word for hot water bottle. Which is yutanpo (ゆたんぽ), if anyone was curious!

Oden and Oshiruko

And now about the meal… Oden is a type of stew that is super popular in Japan in the wintertime, so it’s one of the foods that tends to be culturally associated with the season. There are a lot of different ingredients that can be in it, some of which can be pretty unfamiliar to people who aren’t from Japan. You can learn more about some of them in articles like this one. And yes, you can totally buy oden in a convenience store! (Which are everywhere in Japan and called ‘konbini’ for short.)

As for shiruko (or more formally, oshiruko!), this is the Japanese version of red bean soup. It’s prepared a few different ways, and the recipe varies by region. KnB fans will probably know it best as what Midorima is always drinking out of a can. XD So no surprise that it popped up in this chapter, really!

Yushima Tenmagu

This is just a quick mention about the lucky pencils Midorima gives Takao… As Midorima said, these came from a shrine called Yushima Tenmagu, which is pretty famous as a place for Japanese students to buy good luck charms to pass their exams. (Also if I remember correctly, Midorima has this running gag throughout some of the series extras about trying to figure out how to get better scores on his exams, and even about a lucky pencil? So it just seemed to fit. //laughs)

Magic the Gathering, Apparently

… Okay so first of all, I know literally nothing about Magic the Gathering. So if you happen to be an MtG fan and I screwed something up, I’m very sorry. //laughs

In any case, it’s a longtime headcanon of mine that Takao plays MtG. Since of course it’s one of the most famous trading card games in the world, and it’s still popular in Japan and played in the gaming communities there. And as Takao fans out there will know, his canon hobby is collecting trading cards, which he specifically shops for at a pretty famous Tokyo shopping center called Nakano Broadway. (All of which got a mention in this chapter!)

Also, if you’re wondering how long I’ve had the MtG headcanon specifically… Well, here’s a quote from my fic The Fast Train to Kyoto, where Akashi and Furihata run into Takao while shopping at Nakano Broadway:

“Why do you like to come here, if I may ask?” Akashi said.

“Oh, right. You guys gotta see this.” Takao started to rummage through one of his shopping bags. “I’m a loser for trading cards. Magic, mostly—play a lot of Magic.”

… Because the point guards in KnB are all huge nerds in my mind, and I WILL STAND BY THAT THEORY FOREVER. XD

(And no, I honestly had no idea that I would ever reuse that particular headcanon, especially in a holiday story? But it’s me, and I can’t seem to stop connecting all these totally unnecessary details, even in my fluff fanfics, so… I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. //laughs)

The Symbolism of Five Yen Coins

Okay, I have to admit really love this one, because of course I just sort of stumbled onto the idea by “accident.” //laughs So a few weeks back, I was trying to figure out what lucky item would work for Takao’s gift in the story. The real-life Oha-Asa has listed coins as a lucky item for multiple astrological signs over the years, so I was playing around with that idea… And that was when I learned about the symbolism of the five yen piece in Japanese currency. At which point I completely geeked out, and decided on the spot that I just HAD to use it.

So a five yen coin is pronounced “go-en” in Japanese. Which also sounds like another word that basically means a bond or connection, and has connotations of fate as well. For this reason, there are a lot of superstitions around five yen coins—it’s often used at shrines to pray, for example—and it’s basically connected to the idea of meeting people and making connections in a fortunate or “destined” way. Which just seems so fitting for Midorima and Takao, and how they met and later became partners! And also how I see all the relationships in KnB in general. <3

For an explanation from a Japanese person about some of the symbolism behind the five yen piece, I really recommend this article here! And Wikipedia also mentions some ways that the five yen piece is used culturally.

Well, that’s it for now! I might end up editing this a bit at some point, since I’m writing it in a hurry to post it on New Year’s. But I really wanted to get the final chapter up as soon as I could, so people could read the completed fic if they wanted.

Well, thank you all so much for indulging me in my holiday fic mood this year! Happy New Year, and I hope you all have an amazing 2020 ahead. I know I definitely have a lot of goals and things I’m thinking about and hoping for, and I might talk more about that soon. (As well as try to catch up on some messages and other to-do’s I’ve been horribly neglecting.) But for now, it just feels right to finally be able to complete this story, which ended up meaning way, way more to me than I ever expected it to. (Like KnB and these precious rainbow basketball kids in general, really. <3)

#kat writes fanfic #kat writes about basketball dorks #these wonderful things #long post #text post #AHHHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S COMPLETE #I was started to think I'd never finish this story haha #why did a holiday fluff fic end up having all these complicated feelings XD #why do I do this to myself #I blame Midorima and Takao because they just WOULDN'T STOP HAVING FEELINGS AT EACH OTHER #god you two XD #I don't write about you for years and then you just had to get it all out at once lol #anyway happy new year #and also the one thing I want to say is #merry christmas takao #just merry freaking christmas XDDD

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lottesseenaghoul · 7 years ago

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RE:169 quick thoughts before I go into rabbit hole of tg posts on tumbler (edited)

So I was expecting the scans to come out on Thursday but was surprised to see some fresh panels in the uta tag and FLIPPED.jpeg at my behavioural economics lecture. Honestly not the best place for getting a nosebleed xdd

Anyways here are some of hot takes I got from reading the chapter. More nuanced meta probably on its way. I read it on mangastream and I did screenshots there.

The chapter starts with the first part of Uta’s tattoo quote and ends with the second part, forming a sort of narrative framework to read it.

We jump straight into the fray, with contrasting shots of Yomo’s damn fine looking face and Uta’s there as well, clearly guided by very basic thinking and mostly intuitive, emotional impulses:

Like this is typical, stereotypical “unhinged” face people do in mangas. A mix of enthusiasm and bloodlust, it says this guy went “insane”. Ugh. Uta’s mental health warrants a LOT of unpacking nevertheless so let’s leave this face’ implications for later.

We glimpse their fight styles then:

Uta is on the offensive, honestly his is such forceful, visceral way of attacking here - straight up fuck up your opponent with the sheer force of your blow. He is shown to be a lot more nuanced and deliberate in previous fights, steering clear from attacking and content with evading the blows, dealing some psychological damage afterwards. But that is Uta just half-assedly toying - clearly he doesn’t stop himself with Yomo. The reasons can be manifold - that’s how they’ve always done it; he’s so pumped, he stops thinking and loses himself in pure bloodlust; he’s in a serious crisis - this is my preferred angle.

Now his fighting style, besides the raw strength behind it, is also quick and agile. In a second Uta gets behind Yomo, and tries to strike through his body mid-air. His face looks like this:

Very unstable.

Uta’s pupils are incredibly large here - again, a visual reminder how little conscious control he might have in this situation. OR how vicious his intents are.

My impression is that when he’s led by such murderous motivation (whatever its composing parts), Uta moves intuitively, we don’t see him playing around or allowing to be struck. Here he has the initiative but Yomo can so far fend off or otherwise deal with his attacks.

I’m honestly so thirsty for Yomo in this chapter, just look at this fine motherfucker:

{I’m interjecting to thank my lord satan for my pan-shipping, slutty heart because now UtaRen became another ship I love. Add in some Itori and you have another one. This one just keeps on giving <3}

Also Uta is so messy here, my baby all playful like a rabid hyena.

Despite all the refinements older Uta keeps about himself (suave clothing, neat hair, designer mask studio, antiques in glass cases, chess), he didn’t seem to have done much growing up, emotionally. Donato comments on it like that:

You just gotta love the fact that for most of the manga Uta keeps the facade of actually being the least reckless of the ghouls. But I trust Donato on this, who seems to know Uta’s darker impulses fairly well. Possibly better than Yomo and that dude got his fair of beating from Uta too.

What got me interested is how Amon had commented how pointless Clowns endeavours were. Initially I thought it’s Donato who said it, but later on he tells Amon that he would soon understand...

Oh Amon looks fine AF too. Be still my slutty heart!

Furuta says something possibly pivotal for the incoming plot arc:

(IDK wtf this is, but if even Furuta comments on it as if he was both grossed out/scared, it must be important. Oh, he meets Kaneki too, no biggie. “That’s just freaky!!”, I love you Nimura)

Back to my boys, Yomo is getting beat up but mostly evades Uta’s attacks and looks more and more pissed. Uta just looks like a dumbass. Or rather as stupid as cats who torture smaller critters for fun and recreation do:

Also we get a glimpse of his kagune. It seems to be very elastic, easily changing shapes as Uta sees fit. It was just this gigantic mass of RC cells in the beginning panels, now it’s much more resembling the spider legs en masse that we remember from his fight with Juuzou:

But what is most important here, we finally get the first shot of Itori. She is wearing a mask in the beginning, and it’s important in context of what Uta will be saying shortly: edit: It’s Itori speaking, thoughts on that in a different post.

She’s an observer in that panel, very significantly voiceless, not shown to be nearly as amused as Nico here:

Uta’s Itori’s words are honestly a key to Clown’s philosophy and deserve a meta of its own. [In the beginning I thought these were Itori’s words, especially after I saw “Kanekichi” being mentioned; it’s how she had referred to Kaneki before.] - no wonder, it was my brain’s way to remind me I was far too concentrated on Uta to consider the awesomest queen Itori :/

Uta Itori says something very interesting here:

Obviously, if he were to be an OEK, first or the second one, that would be right up the alley. But even if not, it hints at very interesting possibilities. I want to see Ishida expand on it in some flashbacks.

The most important words are coupled with shots of Itori slowly taking her mask off. It has a very dramatic effect.

Theres a heck ton to unpack here. Honestly I would never think Uta would look at his value system from that particular angle. Edit - and he wouldn’t because he is currently in the midst of a mayor meltdown. It’s Itori who actually bothers with explaining.

He She refers to the coldness of their existence as ghouls, of how senseless it is - like a vast, cold void stretching infintiely in front of them.

Uta’s ways of searching for warmth are probably the only ones somebody as uprooted as him could come up with - he sees drawing blood, wounding (but also getting wounded - Uta seems to have a very laissez faire attitude to him perishing eventually as we remember from his talk with Donato).

According to Uta Itori, Yomo is the warm one. For him her, it’s via bloodletting that he can get closer to taste it. Edit Uta def seconds that in the panels to come with his own actions

I still think there’s some theatrics involved in this speech, as the next panel shows....

God, way to make your opponent unsuspecting of your next move Uta.

And we get another important shot of Itori. She’s clearly positioned as somewhat stradling the line between Uta and Yomo but this series consistently shows her as being closer to Uta nevertheless.

Her eyes are shining so bright here, it’s clear she’s in deep thought and possibly a bit torn apart with what’s happening here. What Uta says clearly strikes a cord but her taking the mask off, idk it may signal some important differences between her and Uta’s worldview. That or it’s a sign she identifies with his words deeply. Edit ditto, these are her words and the scene took entirely different meaning and made me Love Itori, the first time since reading the series.

Honestly Uta is just beginning tho, as he has some creepy words about dreaming of the day where he would get his hands stained with Yomo’s blood. He actually left Yomo on the ground to have this mini speech properly. He’s posturing as far as my impressions go - Uta reverts to his younger persona, sans earlier sentiments of not wanting to cut his fun short by killing the only one ghoul who could match him somewhat.

The most important thing in this chapter is what Yomo says next...

Here Uta is, going off about his strange blood kink and Yomo goes all shonen manga on him. But it’s not the same shonen posturing he did in previous chapter. We don’t see his eyes - we see Uta’s and that dude is honestly #shook.

Naturally he reacts in ways only Ishida can think of. Honestly how Yomo’s words are literally drowned out by Uta’s uncontrollable and histerical laughter is such a masterful move:

This is the guy who dug up Ren from the ground because he was his “friend”. Now he’s just a mouth apparently.

Idk but this seems like the key panel for analyzing Uta from psychological angle. This dude most pronounced feature is his mouth which is nothing like human’s or ghoul alike. It’s like he’s truly the chaotic trickster god with none of the sentiments he was hinted to possess.

I was talking with @gaiajulz and I love how she pointed out that it seems like Uta is actually drowning out Yomo’s heartfelt words and he isn’t even fully aware he’s doing it. With Uta’s firm worldview, he’d rather go full crisis-mode instead of acknowledging how vulnerable and in need of closeness he is.

Honestly Uta is soo Washuu-like in this panel, like Furuta’s older brother or something. First screech like a Cthulu monster and then do a little happy dance!

What’s important is how Uta links what he sees as Yomo’s nivete with his emotional honesty and lack of any hidden agendas. Yomo is pure and good and this is why he is naive enough to trust a world like this. Uta saw so many sides to it, he literally sees no other option than to play the fool, including fooling around with one of the precious few of potentially close people in his life.

I also think he kind of looks like crying? From laughing so hard maybe.

The chapter ends with my baby going full kakuja (predictably it’s his shifty face that’s the most inhuman part here, just a mass of flesh) and this flirty words:

Renji seems so shocked, it’s possible he had never seen this form. Either way he’s speechless.

And Uta’s philosophy is hinted at again - he’s willing to trample his friend just to feel anything.

What we are dearly in need of is some good meta on Uta’s mental health, how his values feature into it and how his own actions contribute to it unraveling. Obviously such speculations are about as scientific as psych profiling but I feel it would be very important to try and understand this character better.

And boy, is there a lot to unpack here...

Edit - crossed the parts where it’s suggested it’s Uta who summarizes Clown’s philosophy. It’s Itori and I don’t get my brain could hint at the discrepancies in my own thinking but not make the definite link. Gotta love that sweet ADHD folks.

#uta #tg #tgre #tgre spoilers #tg theories #tg meta #tg theory #yomo renji

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yandereshit · 7 years ago

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werewolf!Zen x Reader: apples and cinnamon.

Hoo, boi. It was one piece of a struggle. It’s like, less than 12 hours till the deadline. I’m gonna spend this weekend making up for all the lectures I spent editing this for the past few days XDD

So, this is the thing I did for the #werewolfzenshowloween contest organized by @casualpastelgay. Hope you enjoy it! (It was quite long so I put the rest under the cut, please, let me know if it doesn’t work!)

˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙

All the doors were closed and you stared out the window, observing as the sun slowly went down, lower and lower. The red light spilled over the forest, which was its only sign you could see now; the sun disappeared from your sight a while later, hiding behind the mountains. Here, far away from the plain city, days always seemed to last shorter; the very moment the high wall of hills stood in between you and the sun, it already became dark around. But the sky was still lit up, the enormous amount of colors breaking through the cotton-like clouds, as if some kind of god painted it to its enjoyment.

Knocking to the door startled you a bit and you looked in its direction through the window, making sure it’s exactly who you expected at this hour.

He didn’t notice you as you stood there for a short while, watching him curiously. He was staring down at the handle, waiting for you to open. With every breath, he let out white steam as it was quite cold outside. He didn’t look like he’s feeling cold though, his body didn’t shiver even once. After all the time you spent together, you knew already that his body temperature was relatively high all the time and the Autumn weather didn’t bother him at all.

You opened the door.

His face lit up at the sight of you, as always.

“Hey…” he greeted you, smiling sheepishly.

“I was waiting for you” you said, returning the smile. “Wanna eat something? You probably won’t get much rest at night…” you said, going to the kitchen. He took off his shoes and followed you without a word of complaint, the pleasant smell of freshly baked cookies reaching his nostrils and luring him straight to the stove. “A-ah, I haven’t taken them out yet!”

“I can do this” he said, opening the oven.

You quickly slapped his hands away.

“H-hey, I just wanted to-“

“Gloves, Zen. Put on the gloves first.”

The look on his face made it obvious that you just hurt his pride. You couldn’t care less though, at least he didn’t burn himself with the hot oven-pan.

You put on the gloves and took the cookies out. The scent of apples and cinnamon was incredibly strong at this point and you couldn’t help but sigh in content. The ones at the edge of the pan were a bit burned, but they still looked well.

The look on Zen’s face made it obvious that he thought exactly the same. You didn’t even want to ask when was the last time he ate normal, warm food, so you took out a plate to place the cookies on, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to resist much longer.

You could almost see him salivating, but he obediently waited until you placed the plate on the table.

“Here you go, good boy” you joked, making him look at you with these puppy-like, innocent eyes.

“Don’t joke about it” he mumbled with slight annoyance that disappeared the very moment he bit into a cookie.

You could swear that if you saw him in his wolf form right now, his tail would be happily wagging.

“How much time do we have left?” you asked, looking at the clock hanging on the wall.

He followed your glance and sighed.

“Around an hour. I should have come here sooner. We would have a bit more time…”

“We’ll have a whole month after that. Cheer up” you chuckled. He let out a soft groan and wrapped arms around you, bringing you to his chest.

You didn’t notice it earlier, but the way his heartbeat was rushing made you realize how nervous he must have been.

Of course, how could he be not… Out of all the full moons, this one seemed the most dangerous. So much that he agreed for you to spend this time with him, in the wooden cottage far away from the city.

He hated how vulnerable he’d become on these days. All the preparations here were only supposed to make sure he wouldn’t hurt anyone. The very moment he turned into a wolf, he wouldn’t remember who he is anymore. Till the very morning, his other nature would take over his mind and body.

And as much as normally he would never let you even leave your home at night, this time you convinced him to let you come here… in case anything went wrong. You were supposed to stay there and find him in the morning. And to call Seven if anything bad happened, so that he’d take care of it with his own measures.

Because it was the time when the hunting season started. And the forest at night wasn’t a safe place anymore, even for him.

You considered just closing him in the basement of the cottage through the night, so that he wouldn’t be able to get out. But it turned out that the door wasn’t strong enough even to keep him in place as a human, so it definitely wouldn’t do the trick. He didn’t become just a wolf after all. He became something far stronger and bigger. Wooden door wouldn’t be able to stop him.

It was dangerous to have him so close to you at this moment. But you promised to close all the doors and windows and stay on the second floor till the morning, so that he wouldn’t really think about entering the house as he wouldn’t see any point in it. He was supposed to eat enough earlier so that he wouldn’t even get an idea of going hunting.

You two only hoped that he wouldn’t decide to hunt the poachers…

You wouldn’t hesitate to say that the poachers would be the unlucky ones. And yet, with all the weapons they carried, it wouldn’t end well for any of you.

“Ah, I have what Seven gave me” you recalled suddenly, fleeing from his embrace and to the living room. You opened your bag and took out a collar, quite large one. “Will it be good? I’m not sure… how large your neck will be, so…”

“It’ll be good” he said quietly. His voice quivered slightly when you handed him the collar. Things like this would always make him feel uneasy, you noticed. But he knew it’s for his own good. “Is it turned on?”

“Yeah” you nodded and took out the small device. “There’s GPS in it so I’ll be able to find you in the morning… and also…” you hesitated, but the man looked up at you, waiting for you to continue. “He added… something else.”

“Something… else…?”

“In case something goes wrong, it…” You cleared your throat. “He was thinking of using some sedatives, but he wasn’t sure how your body would react to those… He said he didn’t know how exactly will it work on you, but he wanted to make sure I’ll be safe just in case, so… he installed a stunner in it. He gave me that remote with the GPS thing, but I can also use it to stun you… The problem is that he used a quite high current so it’d surely work, but just, it may also be… just, too, high, and…”

You didn’t really want to talk about this, but you felt obliged to explain it to him.

Zen let out a soft sigh and put the collar on his neck without a word, only to take your hand and bring you close, wrapping arms around you once again and, albeit unwittingly, letting you once more listen to his rapid heartbeat.

“Do your best to not need to use it” he said. “But if you do, don’t hesitate. Because I will not be able to hesitate either. What will be there at night… It won’t be me. Don’t ever try to think otherwise.”

His words were calm and even a bit cold, but his embrace was reassuring, contrasting with what you’ve just heard. You supposed the current Seven used wouldn’t be that strong. He could, after all, only imagine what kind of a creature Zen was about to become. It shouldn’t hurt him, not too much.

You honestly hoped it’d actually do anything to stop him though. Just in case it turns out to be useful…

“I… gotta go” Zen said after a short while, leaning away from you. He scratched the nape of his neck awkwardly. “There’s still some time left, but I’m going to run as far as possible. If lucky, I will be at least a bit tired, so… I won’t want to do anything stupid.”

“But remember, if you hear anything, run in the opposite direction. No matter where you are. Stay away from them.” Your tone was serious and Zen nodded, his expression tense. You hesitated a bit before speaking again. “…Zen. Does it…” You tilted your head to the side. “Does it hurt…? You know, when you turn…”

He smiled softly.

More than you can imagine.

“Not at all. Don’t worry. That’s the smallest of our problems so far… Besides, I’m used to it…” he sighed, ruffling your hair in a friendly motion. “Take the cookies and go upstairs. See you in the morning, princess” he added, snickering as you panicked at the suddenly displeasing state of your hair.

He turned around, going towards the door.

“How about a good-bye kiss?” you asked, crossing your arms, clearly discontent he could forget about something so obvious.

“Hmm, I don’t know…”

“Come here” you mumbled, grabbing his coat to tug him a bit lower and placing a short, wet kiss on his lips.

His eyes narrowed, as if he expected something more. He leaned down, gently holding your chin in between his fingers.

You smiled softly, kissing him once more.

He broke the kiss, too quickly for your liking, and sighed.

“Good bye.”

“Stay safe, Zen.”

“You too, princess.”

˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙

The moment night fell upon the mountains, the whole forest froze. No birds dared to let out a chirp, the wind disappeared completely. As if the world fell silent in a second.

Everyone noticed it. Everyone. Even people who, against their common sense, decided to choose this particular night to look through the forest, not bothered by any threat they should at least be aware of.

The clouds disappeared completely by now and the sky was clear, letting the perfectly round moon shine through the darkness, making this night brighter than any other, so bright they could see the surroundings almost perfectly.

The moment they left the huge car, a loud howl could be heard, somewhere not too far away from them.

All of them looked in its direction, clearly pleased by the sound. A lonely animal was a good prey, No way they’d have a problem catching it, alive or not. Not with all the experience and professional equipment they had.

It was supposed to be easy.

˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙

The wolf was lost. He knew where he was, and yet, he didn’t know where to go. Something was missing and he wanted to find it, but no scent was hoovering in the air, except for the faint, calming smell of apple and cinnamon. He didn’t know what that smell was supposed to mean, but it seemed to lure him somewhere, even though it was way too faint to actually find its source.

He did the only thing he could then, picking up his pace and running forward, wherever was the place he would eventually find himself in.

The more he ran though, the less of the apples and cinnamon he could feel and it made him even more uneasy, being deprived from something that felt just so natural.

So he turned in a different direction and kept running, not counting the steps, not looking at the moon nor for any particular trace.

The smell would never grow any stronger though. The wolf was lost.

˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙

“It’s running around?” the man asked, frowning. “They usually run in one direction. Or maybe there’s more than one?”

“I doubt” someone else shrugged. “Guess he got lost. Good for us. Gotta track him quickly.”

He loaded the gun and made sure all the parts were working properly. The bullets were large, big enough to kill a wolf with a single shot or at least harm it heavily. If it pierced its paw, it wouldn’t be able to use it again for a long time. The head? It would die in a moment. In any other place it’d cause enough harm to make the animal at least vulnerable.

“Did anyone check the snares?” the man asked another question.

“I already set the new ones. We’ve got a few hares, that’s all” another person said in a blunt tone.

There was a visible tension in the air and everyone was deadly focused. It was clear that any wrong move could either restrain them from the reward they desired or cause danger they could only imagine how enormous.

But they were experienced. They didn’t hesitate. If a prey appeared, they’d make sure to find it and catch before it could either run away or fight back.

“You’ve got the nets?” another person asked.

“Got ‘em.”

The men listened carefully, trying to work out the animal’s pattern. Years of experience helped them specify the exact distance. They knew what to do. They knew how.

And by now, they were already sure there was nothing that could surprise them.

“Gentlemen” someone spoke all of sudden. “How about a sweet treat before we start?”

˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙

Apples and cinnamon. Apples and cinnamon.

The scent lingered in the air, making him suddenly stop in his tracks. It was stronger than the humans’ scent he’s been sensing for a while now but decided to ignore. This one was what he sincerely hoped to feel, and the very moment it reached his nostrils, he knew where to go.

He wasn’t in this place before. The humanine, annoying scent was what made him avoid it. But now, with the aroma luring him forward, he couldn’t help himself.

He needed to find it.

He ran faster and faster, so fast it took him only a few minutes to see the group of people sitting next to each other, talking quietly, not really bothered with anything. They seemed wary of their surroundings… but not enough. They surely didn’t expect something to watch them, way too confident in the moon’s light brightening up the small clearing they gathered on.

“Haven’t heard anything in a while” one of them said suddenly. The wolf didn’t understand, but he laid his ears down, leaning closer to the ground, careful not to let out a single noise.

“Maybe he went to sleep?” someone joked.

“Hope he didn’t run away. It was a good chance.”

The wolf observed them for a while, but the scent in the air only intensified and he couldn’t help but let out a soft, hunger-filled growl.

“…Guys? Have you heard that too?”

“Get the guns. Slowly. Don’t fire until I tell you to.”

It was like an invitation. The growl intensified, but no one dared to move, everyone’s eyes wandered around, looking for its source.

The source entered the clearing slowly, its glistening eyes watching over all the people gathered around the car.

No one dared to move, but everyone’s eyes were on the creature. The creature way different from what they expected.

“Holy fuck” someone whispered. “It’s… fucking huge.”

“Quiet. Aim. Slowly. Don’t piss him off.”

Apples and cinnamon.

The wolf approached them a bit too confidently for their liking, but he was still too far. As they all already figured out, he was too strong to be underestimated. Too big to shoot in just any part of his body in hope it’d make him just bleed out. Their bullets could kill him, but If they didn’t hit the good spot – and only his head was a good spot in this case – the bullet would waste and the beast would go mad. Or worse, run away and never come back.

The animal let out a soft growl when its eyes fell upon the sweet treat one of the men was still holding. The man’s eyes widened when the wolf went in his direction.

“Carefully…” someone next to him whispered, raising the gun to his eye and aiming at the beast, calming his breath as it came close enough for him to be able to let out an almost clear shot in its head.

But then, suddenly, the wolf’s eyes glistened and he stopped in his tracks, growling loudly.

That was not the scent he was looking for. These weren’t… the apples and cinnamon he desired.

Everyone almost jumped at the loud noise.

“Fire!”

The loud bang noise echoed in the mountains and passed along thousands of trees, far, to the places none of the men could ever even imagine. The sound was so loud it stunned them all for a short while and in that exact moment they weren’t able to tell what’s around them anymore.

And the very moment their senses finally came back, in the middle of the clearing, they saw a small pool of dark blood glistening in the light of the full moon.

The beast was gone.

˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙

Whatever woke you up at this hour, surely made you even more anxious than you already were. You sat up and covered yourself with the thick blanket.

After a while of hesitation, you stood up and made sure all the windows in your room were closed. It was still cold though. You turned off all the lights and only the fireplace gave you some warmth a while ago, when it was still blazing. But when you went to sleep, the wood burned down completely, leaving only a small, glowing pile of ashes.

What time was it? You went to sleep not too long ago…

You reached your phone.

Half past two ante meridiem. There was one missed call from Seven you didn’t pick up since you turned off the sounds, which was pretty much your habit, but today it was surely a bit reckless to do. He must have been worried, you assumed.

You sent him a short message saying that everything’s alright so far and put the phone back on the counter, remembering to turn on the sounds this time.

You stood up and went to the fireplace, extending your hands to use the rest of the warmth it could give you. The wood ran out already so you’d have to go down onto the first floor to bring more, but you weren’t sure if that’d be a good idea. The whole point in staying in one place was to avoid your scent to spread so that no one would be able to find out you were there. You had to suck up the coldness.

You returned to your bed and wrapped yourself in the blankets again, reaching to the counter once more.

You didn’t make many cookies, but it was the best comfort you could have in your position. You wrapped yourself in all the blankets you had and munched on a cookie, staring in silence at the moon outside the window. Even with all the lights turned off, it was still so bright in there.

The scent of apples and cinnamon surrounded you and stuck to your clothes when a little bit of the stuffing fell onto your clothes. You took it and without a hesitation put back in your mouth. It was too good to waste.

You didn’t know how long were you sitting there before the sleep took over you again and, with a partly eaten cookie in your hand, your head fell onto your chest, the thick blankets preventing you from falling back down onto the bed.

You swore you’d fall asleep in this position. If not the noise that made you raise your head suddenly and look around, as if to make sure it wasn’t only your imagination that made you hear things in the state of dreamy delirium.

But then you heard the noise again: something like steps on the veranda, making the floor creak so loudly you thought the whole house is trembling.

You froze and listened in silence, praying so that – whatever was there at this hour – would just go away. Or maybe it was a human…?

You stood up in an instinctive attempt to check it out.

But then you hesitated, your breath hitching as you slowly moved back to the bed, afraid of making the floor creak under your steps.

You reached to the drawer and took out the small device with a screen Seven gave you earlier this day.

With trembling hands, you turned on the device. After a few amazingly long seconds, the screen flickered in an old-fashioned way and showed a cross in the middle, along with a red, blinking point.

The point was right next to the cross.

You didn’t even remember you were still holding the cookie, until it crushed in your other hand and fell to the floor.

You held the device tightly, the trembling of your body making it difficult to not drop it. You held your breath, repeating in your thoughts a prayer, the only thing you could think of at the moment.

“Go away. Please, go away. Go away. Zen, go away. Please…”

Sound of an impact under your feet made you jump, startled, and you felt your eyes water up in fear.

It was a bad idea. It was a bad idea to come here…

You wanted only to help, not to die…

“Why did you come here, why did even you come here…? Just go away, I don’t have anything for you, just go away, go away…”

The impact echoed once more and you heard the wooden door give up with a crash.

Apples and cinnamon. Apples and cinnamon…

You heard the steps leading to the kitchen. There was still some food, of course it’d lure the animal. Something creaked again, but you weren’t sure which furniture was that you probably wouldn’t be able to use ever again.

The steps didn’t stop though. The animal didn’t find what it was looking for…

You stopped praying, your whole body trembled as you heard the steps on the staircase. The whole house shook along with these steps. You could only imagine how heavy the creature was.

Heavy enough to bite off your head with a single snap…

You covered your mouth with one hand, trying to shake off the thoughts. No use in these now. You stopped breathing, as if it could be of any help at this point.

The steps slowly, as if hesitantly approached your door. You waited for it to break down, but a single push was enough to make the handle give up.

In the bright light of the full moon, a pair of red eyes stared at you, attracting your attention even more than the huge, toothed jaws, opened slightly in the beast’s tired panting.

The wolf’s head only was bigger than your whole chest. His snow-white fur was longer than this of a normal wolf, and his shoulders were so wide they barely fit in the door. Standing, the wolf was not much shorter than you. And his eyes were focused on yours when he slowly entered the bedroom.

You backed away to the window. Your heart was beating so fast it hurt and you felt as if it’d burst out of your chest if the wolf was to come you any closer.

The red eyes glistened, paralyzing you with their power.

Taking a step forward, the wolf suddenly glanced down at the floor.

His eyes widened as he leaned down and let out a soft growl, in a quick snap swallowing what he found there.

The partly eaten, crushed cookie.

Apples and cinnamon.

A loud howl filled the room, making the windows tremble and the wolf fell to the floor, exhausted.

He laid on his side and that was when you noticed a pool of crimson liquid gathering on the floor between his hind feet.

Your eyes widened as he laid his head on his paws, letting out a quiet whimper. His eyes closed and the breathing slowed down.

“Zen?” you whispered.

The wolf didn’t move and you took a single step in his direction, your finger already pressed to the stun button on Seven’s device.

“Zen…?” Your eyes watered up as he still refused to move and you couldn’t help but take a few more, reckless steps.

The creature raised its head abruptly and snapped its jaws in the air along with a loud growl that made you jump away and fall to the floor, startled.

The wolf didn’t move from his place though, as if not caring much about your existence as long as you didn’t come too close.

But you weren’t going to stay in this place. There were still a few hours left before the dawn. Your heart wouldn’t survive this. Not to mention, you didn’t want to risk the wolf getting hungry and willing to chug something bigger than cookies.

Though it seemed that the cookies were surprisingly tempting to him.

You reached slowly and took the plate still resting on the drawer.

The wolf’s eyes followed the plate in a motion so familiar you couldn’t help but smile, even if your lips trembled in fear when you kneeled down and, placing the plate on the floor, moved it slowly closer to the fireplace.

The very moment your hands lost the contact with the plate, the wolf stood up abruptly – way too abruptly for your liking – and, swaying from the exhaustion, in less than five steps approached the plate, making you almost run away to the other corner of the room.

Only then, when he lied on the floor again and paid attention to the cookies only, you dared to sigh in relief and, even though still holding the device in your trembling hands, pass through the room and to the door, as quietly as possible, not daring to close them behind yourself as you didn’t want to bring the wolf’s attention to yourself with such an unwelcoming move.

The very moment you were back on the first floor, you collapsed to the ground, letting out all the terrified tears you were holding back all this time.

˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙

The first rays of sun appeared early, not a single cloud forbidding them from spreading over the world.

The light reached through the window and fell upon his face, waking him up from the slumber.

He covered his eyes with the arm, letting out a quiet, weak whine of displeasure.

The wooden floor underneath his head creaked when he tried to turn to the side, making him open his eyes and sit up abruptly at the sudden realization.

The pain shot up in his stomach and he looked down, staring at the wound next to his navel, almost completely healed by now. His naked body was covered in blood, even more of it was surrounding him from every side.

He took off the collar and threw it aside, getting up in attempt to run to the door. He felt dizzy though and his head spun when he made the first step, sending him face first to the floor.

He stared at the door in silence, trying to recall at least a single trail of what happened at night.

Nothing came though, his mind was temporarily empty, as always after these nights. Past ten hours were filled with rage and bloodlust he couldn’t even bring himself to understand. But no image came, not a single word he’d have heard during this time.

And he felt just too tired to stand up…

A few minutes passed before the door flung open and the familiar silhouette entered the room, running to him in a speed of light… or maybe it was just him who didn’t contact with reality well enough.

“Zen. Zen! Can you hear me?!”

She fell to her knees next to him and threw a blanket over his body, placing his head on her lap, making him glance up at her, the slightly pained expression on his face when he moved a bit to adjust to her position.

“Princess…”

He grinned at her, reaching up to touch her face.

The girl had tears in her eyes, which he realized just now. The very moment his fingers made contact with her skin, she let them run down her face and his eyes widened.

“W-wait, don’t cry, w-what happened, did I…?”

Her hands clenched on the blanket as she tried her best to not hurt him with her tense movements.

“Y-you’ve been hurt…” she said quietly. “…And… y-you’ve been…”

His breath hitched when he supported himself on his hands, sitting up to look at her closely, listening intently to every word she spoke, ready to hear the worst news possible.

The news didn’t come though. The girl’s arms wrapped around his neck, bringing him into the tightest hug he’s ever been in.

He breathed out a shaky sigh of relief. The pleasant warmth spread all over his body, making all the tension go away in an instant. The embrace was almost painful. But it brought comfort. Reassurance.

“You… haven’t got hurt, have you…?” he made sure in a quiet, tired voice.

She shook her head.

“No, not at all…”

Her fingers caressed gently his hair and the motion calmed down the both of them, making them relax in silence.

The sun was warm. The same as the day before.

“…So, it’s over for now” she exhaled in a tired voice.

“For now, I guess…”

Somewhere in the background, they could hear the faint noise of Seven’s car approaching the house. The gusts of wind raised the dust from the ground and made the last Autumn leaves flee away.

Only the small group of people and two stains of crimson – one in the house and one on the small clearing – remembered what happened at night.

And what would happen again, a month later, and every next month of the werewolf’s life.

#werewolfzenshowloween #thank you for reading!#mystic messenger zen #werewolf au #mystic messenger zen x reader #zen x reader #hyun ryu #mystic messenger #mysme #mm #zen

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