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late-to-the-magnus-archives · 2 years ago

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I Prefer My Heart To Be Broken, Chapter Fifteen: Tea

Baby god training. An oversight revealed. A much-needed conversation.

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CHAPTER FIFTEEN: TEA

The door is hidden.

Other-Jon knows where it is as though he’d put it there, and opens it for them with ease.

Inside is a little dining area with three tables and a small kitchenette. Other-Jon plops into a seat and puts his arms on the table and his head on his arms, as if he’s been deflated.

Arthur follows the sound of that flop and joins him at that table. “Ah, Martin—if there’s anything to eat in there….”

“I’ll bring it. Everybody take a breather, okay? I’ll be right back.” Martin walks away.

Other-Jon doesn’t want to talk.

John could use it as an excuse. He could. It would be super easy to tweak this, poke that wounded man into some kind of poor response, then drop the whole plan as a bad deal.

But Arthur wants him to help because it’s help Arthur needed himself: guidance from someone who knows what’s going on, no matter how small.

John signs. Archivist. We need to talk. Now. It’s not a request.

The Archivist hunches.

So strange. The body language is just… a miserable, beat-down human, who can be hurt.

But he’s not a human. He must know that. Doesn’t he? Huh, says John.

And curiosity is what finally draws the other out. “What?” says the Archivist, muffled against his arms.

You’re a mess.

Jon snorts.

No, I mean… your marks are… gods, they’re not even symmetrical. They look like fucking accidents. Who did this to you, anyway?

Jon sighs. “The Spider and a man named Jonah Magnus.”

That was even weirder. You were serious. A human was involved? How did this even work?

“Nobody knows.” Jon sits up, though he keeps his head down. His brown skin is blotchy from tears. “The Web and Jonah just kept… throwing me at things and hoping I wouldn’t die.”

John stares at him. What? That’s not how you make a god.

Jon scoffs. It’s a good scoff, and both Arthur and John flinch back.

“Tell them that,” Jon snaps, and finally looks up.

His eyes are still human, so John presses on. Wait. You’re saying this like you weren’t even aware of the ritual.

“I wasn’t. I was kept ignorant, led around by the gods-damned nose, and only found out what it was even all for when it was too late, at the end.”

John sputters. This is all wrong! How did you even survive? Wait—how much time did they take for this ritual?

Other-Jon frowns. “I was marked by the Eye too young to remember. Marked by the Spider at eight. Then from age twenty-nine through the next two years, monsters just… tried to eat me, or hurt me, or bully me, or kill me. The final change, though, when I… at the end, there wasn’t a ritual. Unless you mean the statement—the, ah… the… the words Jonah made me read, but that only got me halfway to whatever this is.”

John is flabbergasted.

Though he’s seeing some of the logic behind it. The length of time between the initial marks gave Jon’s soul enough time to fully adapt to them—to grow around them, as it were, creating an entanglement that made it harder for him to die.

Each succeeding breach would be more likely to kill him, but could theoretically instead reach that intertwinement faster, until, by the end…

“That sounds like a miserable experience,” says Arthur.

Jon’s smile is bitter. “You could say that.”

You have to be the unluckiest bastard who ever lived, John concludes.

The Archivist laughs.

It’s not a bad laugh, but it’s so… raw.

John sighs. You really had no control over what you just did to me, did you?

“No.” Jon puts his face in his hands. “Gods, I’m so sorry.”

John thinks he may understand why. When’s the last time you did have control?

“When we got here. I thought… I thought it was over. I thought it finally stopped, but being here, with what Hastur did to me, I… it’s back.”

“Martin said you were tricked into ending the world,” says Arthur, gently.

“I… suppose.” Jon swallows. “When I start taking in a statement, I can’t stop. I literally cannot. Jonah knew that, and hid the words that needed to be said to cause the apocalypse within a statement. He taunted me first, though. Made me read his damned monologue before getting to the meat of it.”

Confirmation. I see.

Other-Jon goes quiet.

Martin returns from the kitchen with a small plate of sliced fruit. “Guess this was left there for us. The King, probably, but who gives a shit at this point?”

Arthur, the plate is in front of you. It—oh! I remember this! Arthur, it’s called Gloria fruit, and it’s delicious! You’re going to love it!

John sounds proud, like he’d grown it himself.

Which, long ago, he did.

Arthur smiles a little and feels for the plate.

John is silent until Arthur eats.

And Arthur moans (because of course he does).

Satisfied, John turns his attention back to the Archivist. You would’ve been taught some things, Archivist, immediately, upon your ascension. Tell me what happened. Who was there? You may have missed something in all the drama.

“No one was there for the first part,” says Jon. “It was just me, those words, and then the Eye and all the Fears in the world.”

The first part? Oh—oh! They divided it up? I didn’t know they—what’s the second part?

“When I murdered Jonah Magnus in cold blood, and the Eye made me its pupil,” says Jon to the table, gaze far away.

Cold blood? Hardly. A life sacrifice is always part of ascension. You knew that.

Jon shakes his head. “I’m telling you, I didn’t. I didn’t know it would do that. I didn’t know it was… whatever this is. I wanted to hurt him, and I wanted to… make it stop. The Eye would give me the power to do it. That was all I knew.”

Plan B—murdering the world. John shudders. But who else was there?

“No one.”

Not the Web. Not even a representative. Not one fucking deity from any pantheon?

“I told you. No one.”

Stunning. Could this even fall under “oversight?” Someone should have been there. Even just fucking Gabriel, sticking his damn nose into everything. Someone.

“If they were, all they did was watch me ruin everything,” Jon says, low.

John needs to think.

Arthur feels for the plate. John’s left hand pulls it closer to him. Six more slices, Arthur.

“These are good, John.”

Told you. He’s pleased.

Jon rubs his face.

John sighs. Right. I’m not… qualified for this, but let me try. First, you need to know that deification rarely works. When it does, it gives off so many shockwaves that it’s impossible nobody noticed. I have no idea why you were left alone. Listen: you’re fully entangled with the Fears that made you, and it’s badly done. This is supposed to be even, a carefully woven pattern so your being and their other-nature insertions look and act as natural as if you grew them yourself. That’s not what you look like.

Jon’s smile is crooked and bitter and raw. “And what do I Look like?”

Like someone spilled buckets of boiling gold onto cold glass, letting it shatter and then solidify in unpredictable ways and wild patterns. And it did solidify; it’s no longer fragile, but completely bizarre. It’s not even just fourteen marks. You’ve been marked so many times by some of them that it almost looks like lightning and nails, scattered through you at random. So, like I said: a mess.

Jon’s smile turns wry. “You make it sound almost beautiful, if chaotic.”

It is. To both. It shouldn’t have worked. You should’ve blown to a billion pieces.

Jon wipes away a couple of tears. “Kintsugi,” he mutters to himself. “If only.”

I don’t know what that is, but here’s the thing, Archivist: what’s done is done. It can’t be removed. You and they have all grown together. You’re one being now, fully.

“Good for me.”

It is, actually. Now, listen to me: you aren’t able to control yourself because you’ve been relying on something you no longer have: your humanity.

“What?” whispers Jon.

“What?” says Arthur.

John feels like he’s explaining this to an infant. Or maybe not an infant, but someone who’d definitely been raised by wolves. I don’t mean concepts of kindness, or whatever you’re thinking. I mean you’re trying to resist the way humans do. With free will.

Absolutely all the color drains from Jon’s face. “I have no free will?”

Not the way you’re used to thinking of it. Of course you have choices, but you used to be able to just… stubborn your way through things. Like Arthur does now.

“I certainly do,” says Arthur, reaching for more fruit.

You’re not human enough. You can’t do it that way anymore.

Jon looks desperate. Sounds desperate. Has a doomed expression like he’s considering throwing himself off a cliff. “Then I can’t? I’ll never… I’m just going to keep doing that to people?“

No, you do it the way any god does: with brute force.

“What?”

Martin makes a happy sound from the kitchen. “Found tea!”

“Thanks!” Arthur calls out.

You do it with power, says John.

“You want me to give more of myself to this?” Jon blurts.

Is that what I said? This isn’t taking in something new. You already have power channeling through you.

“I don’t understand,” says Jon.

John thinks for a moment. If you’re in a home with electrical outlets, does the current in the outlets stop because you didn’t plug in a lamp?

“No, but I….”

You haven’t been able to fight because you’re trying to use dead batteries instead of the damned outlet. Listen to me. You use the power you already have. It’s there if you use it or not, and it changes nothing if you don’t. Not using it doesn’t turn it off. Not using it doesn’t make it less. That power is what you call on. Not your will.

“John, that’s amazing,” says Arthur, who is disappointed the fruit is gone.

Other-Jon is still struggling with this. “But how? How do I access this, do that?”

You’ll have to feel your way through that one. It’ll be different from mine.

Oh, great, now Jon is crying—and just in time for Martin to come back.

He has four cups of tea on a tray, the production of which seems like a superpower in itself, and he puts it down on the table.

He slides Arthur’s cup to him. “Honey in it, again.”

“Thank you.” Arthur feels so much better.

“Thank you,” whispers Jon.

“Hey, uh—everything okay?” says Martin, and wipes away Jon’s tears.

Jon catches his hands, looking up into his face. “I can control it. There’s a way. I can… I can stop it happening.”

Martin’s eyes are enormous. He looks at Arthur.

“John’s pretty special,” Arthur says with pride.

Not... not really.

“He figured it out. Gave your boy some tips,” says Arthur.

And now, Martin is looking wobbly, too. “Really? He… he did that?”

I don’t know why everyone’s making such a big deal over this. I didn’t do much.

And Jon says, “Did Hastur know this already?”

But it doesn’t hook John like it did, doesn’t erase the world. It comes with the pressure to answer built-in, but it feels worlds better.

Those loops don’t penetrate, either. They stay around Jon, hovering.

Control. Jon just demonstrated a modicum of control.

That, John thinks, was awfully damned fast for applying such a new and foreign concept. Of course.

And other-Jon makes… a sound. It is no thoughtful hum, no mere verbal affirmation.

The Archivist can’t growl; but somehow, the sound he made was worse.

Martin kisses the top of his head, mitigating again—and John suddenly suspects Martin already knew this. “Forgot the milk.”

“There’s milk?” Jon says, looking shocked.

“Yep. Be right back.” Martin retreats again.

Martin knew. John is sure.

Just how much does Martin know?

The Archivist looks grim. “So the reason I did that to you—we have a plan. It might not work, but… we’re wondering if there’s a way to go to the Dark World and bring someone back.”

Oh. So they’d already figured Hastur’s plan out, apparently. Well, that would—

Arthur drops his cup. It clanks to the table and rolls onto the floor, where, by some miracle, it doesn’t shatter, but the sound of it on the marble is shockingly loud, even with Arthur’s suddenly ragged breath.

“What?” says Arthur.

Other-Jon looks at him. His eyes flash green, just for a moment. “Oh, no,” he whispers.

John could not agree more, because Arthur is a hair’s breadth away from fucking losing it.

“You can get someone back from the Dark World?” Arthur says, clipped.

“I don’t know yet,” says the Archivist in a tone he probably thinks is the best way to handle distraught folks (and John knows is half the reason he instead got attacked by them). “That’s part of what I need to find out.”

Arthur goes quiet.

“Um… guys?” says Martin, who is standing in the doorway to the kitchenette, holding a familiar black book.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding, says John.

Other-Jon stands, staring. “Is that….”

“Kayne’s book. Yeah. Feels… ew. Just the same.”

It’s the same book, says John with grave suspicion.

“He says it’s the same book,” other-Jon says. “Why is it here?”

“I don’t know, but it wasn’t there when I brought out the tea,” says Martin. “I’m sure of it.”

“I thought Kayne wasn’t here,” challenges Arthur, who is doubting everything right now with wild abandon.

“He’s not,” says other-Jon, and his face has that lookagain as liquid green light loops all around him. “He has agents.”

Everyone stares at him.

“Agents?” says Arthur.

Martin is silent, and has gone pale.

Jon’s not looking at him, but studies his tea; all around him, the light grows frenetic, as if scooping information right out of the air. “There are places he can’t go without being detected, so he has to use regular people, or other things, or he can’t play. He sent one of those Deep Ones climbing up the side with this thing to deliver it.”

Martin looks stricken.

Arthur can’t see Martin’s face.

Jon isn’t looking at Martin’s face.

John has a very good idea what is making Martin react that way.

It’s a crossroad.

John could say nothing. Let this play out. Let Kayne do whatever the fuck, and maybe take the edge off Kayne’s dislike for him. Maybe get Arthur home.

But then he thinks about Arthur dying, about Arthur being taken from him, and he can’t.

He can’t.

I think Martin’s in trouble, he says.

Other-Jon spins.

Martin looks caught for barely a blink. Then he just looks surprised. “What?”

Other-Jon studies him.

Martin walks away. Right back to the kitchen, rummaging.

Other-Jon looks at Arthur. “Thank you, John. Could you… hold on to this while I go after him? It’s not an accident this thing is here.”

Yes, says John.

The Archivist heads after his lover.

Arthur.

“Did you know?” says Arthur.

Know what? But John can see—Arthur is afraid John knew this plan, somehow, and didn’t tell him, even though he lost Faroe.

Arthur is correct.

John cannot let on.

“About this. About… bringing my counterpart back from death.”

No. To be honest, I doubt it’s possible. That won’t fly for long, and he knows it.

Arthur takes an unsteady breath. “Fine.” He puts his face in his hands and stews.

Martin doesn’t seem to be accomplishing anything in particular. He’s picking up dishes and moving them from one cabinet to another, taking them back out, restacking.

Jon wraps his arms around him from behind. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Martin’s voice cracks.

“Want to talk?”

“No.” Martin swallows. “Nothing much we can talk about. It’s done.”

Jon knows his anger is raising his body temperature, and wonders if Martin can feel it. “Nothing’s done yet.”

Martin sighs and leans heavily on the countertop, hanging his head.

“So,” says Jon, sounding rough. “That’s what he’s going to do to you.”

Martin says nothing.

Jon kisses the back of his neck. “You do know I wouldn’t just let that happen, don’t you?”

Martin sighs. “There’s nothing you can do, Jon. At least your yellow king has something he wants that you can give him and be done.”

“We don’t know for sure what your chaos god wants. Maybe we can do the same.”

“I do know. He told me.”

Jon waits.

“You’re really not looking, are you?” Martin whispers.

“I promised you I wouldn’t.”

Martin sighs. “You chose a hell of a time to start keeping your word,” which he knows is unfair, because Jon hasn’t broken it once since the Panopticon, but pain tends to come out in strange ways.

Jon stiffens. “Are you inviting me to look, or castigating me for my failure?”

Martin turns and holds him. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t right.”

They breathe each other in, quiet, just being.

Jon sighs. “Maybe it was. Maybe we should talk about it. At least a little.”

“Now? We’re trying to figure out how to trap the Fears in a death universe, and you want to talk about it now?”

“There’s always something.” Jon nuzzles his cheek. “There always will be something, I think. But this has sat between us long enough. You’re afraid we’re going to be separated, and I think I’m done waiting.”

Martin did not realize how badly he needed to hear that until he did.

His shoulders shake. He tries to keep the tears in.

Jon kisses away the ones that escape.

“You hurt me,” Martin whispers. “So much.”

So they were doing this now.

“I know. I was wrong.” More kisses. “I’d do anything if I could take that decision back.”

“Why, Jon? What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t. I just… hurt. So much. I wasn’t thinking.” But that’s not enough, and Jon seems to know it. “He’d taken away everything. Caused so much loss, and then there he was, floating, in absolute bliss, and I… I was fighting it, Martin. That bliss was offered to me, but he hadn’t fought, and he’d gotten it all, everything he wanted, and I just… you were right. Envy. But not for what you think. I envied that he could do this and not feel a damned thing about it. That he had no conscience. That he didn’t have to hurt.”

Martin cradles Jon’s head and stays silent. His heart aches.

“And I hated myself for that,” says Jon, barely audible. “It’s a terrible thing to think. I just… I felt so bad. All the time.” His voice cracks. “I wanted to stop feeling so bad, and I knew the Eye would give it to me if I just asked, but I didn’t want to do that, because that would be evil.” He leans in, forehead to Martin’s. “I fought so hard, every second of every day, and there he was, swimming in the pool I’d scorned.”

The phrasing should be funny.

It’s not.

“So when you decided to kill him….” Martin’s figuring it out.

“It wasn’t about saving anybody, and I’m ashamed.” Jon won’t look at him now. He keeps swallowing, as though his throat has grown a lump. “It was because I hated him for taking what I fought so hard to avoid. And I knew I was… giving up some good part of myself to act on it, but I did it anyway. So then… I don’t know, Martin. It made sense at the time. I’d kill him, take him away from all that bliss he hadn’t earned. Then I’d take the reins, and end it all. Gently. I’d end all the suffering, Martin. End all the fear. No more pain or screams or nightmares—for the world, or for me. Make it better the only way I could, without damning some other innocent universe.”

No wonder he’d reacted so badly when Martin told him the Fears already were in other universes. “And then what, Jon?”

“And then you and I, we could… just be alone. Together, until the end, whatever it looked like after that. I didn’t really think it through.”

“They’d just have fed on us if we were the only two people left, you know,” says Martin.

Jon sighs. “Yes. I figured that out about three weeks after we landed Somewhere Else, and I’m ashamed it took me that long to think of something so obvious.”

“You weren’t thinking of after,” says Martin. “You just wanted it to be over.”

“I’m not making an excuse. I… just thought explaining this might be better than ‘very sad.’”

So those words haunted him, too. Good to know.

Martin sighs like he’s expelling pain with every second. “Thank you, Jon. That was much better than ‘very sad.’” It’s his turn to kiss away tears. “And Jon, I… I forgive you. I forgave you then.”

“I know you did. I didn't deserve it.”

“Isn’t that the point? Forgiving it means I acknowledge what you did was wrong, but now it’s over. And I choose to let it go.” Softer: “Maybe now, we both can.”

“I don’t know how to ever make it up to you.”

“You don’t have to make up anything. That’s not how this works, Jon.”

Jon pulls back enough to look him in the eye. “Then how does it work?”

Martin dips him.

Jon makes a surprised sound one might charitably call a yip.

“So, first, don’t do it again,” says Martin. “Second, let me love you. Third, forgive yourself, and fourth, forgive me.”

“Forgive you?” blurts Jon. “For what?”

“For saying I loved you with all my heart, but ignoring you bleeding out in front of me for however long it took to get across that hellscape,” says Martin. “You told me. You tried. You protected me from all of it, even when I wandered off while you recorded statements, so I didn’t have to feel all the bad things you were feeling. Jon, it was obvious this was killing you. You told me—there was no happy ending, no way to fix it, to save everyone. You told me you were feeling it, all the world’s horror, day and night, and because it was too awful, too horrible to imagine you suffering that way, I just… chose not to listen.”

Jon’s fingers are digging into Martin’s back. He’s gone pale.

Martin holds tighter. “I should’ve seen. I should’ve done something.”

“There was nothing you could’ve done.”

“I could’ve listened. But when Annabelle spun her tale, I thought, this is it! Jon was wrong. There is a magic off-button. We can do it, and there won’t even be a price to pay.” He sighs. “I chose to listen to someone I knew literally existed for manipulation over the man I knew loved me.”

“She’s good at it,” Jon says, stroking his cheek. “She told you exactly what you wanted to hear.”

“And then, somehow, I didn’t put together the fact that when Jonah died, the Eye would latch onto you, anyway. You didn’t even have to be in the Panopticon for that to happen. If it was fond of me, it loved you.”

“It still does,” whispers Jon, grim. “And yes. I was always going to have to go into the pit. They followed my voice. My marks. The tapes alone were never going to be enough—but if she’d told us that, neither of us would’ve gone to the Panopticon.”

This was a heavy thing.

It didn’t make it better, but it made it… different. Gave it all a new angle.

Martin sighs. “It took me a lot longer than three weeks to figure that out, Jon. I was actually really angry for a while because I thought… I thought you’d forced me into the position of stabbing you.”

“I did, though.”

Martin kisses him for a long enough moment that Jon almost forgets what he said. “So did I,” says Martin. “We both fucked it up.”

“I’m sorry,” whispers Jon.

“I’m sorry, too. Forgive me.”

Jon’s face twists. He clings to Martin, shaking with unvoiced sobs. “I love you. Everything’s forgiven. It’s not even a question.”

Martin pulls him up. They’re both a mess—noses red, eyes swollen, tears everywhere, and Martin is amazed, as always, how they fit. Perfect; like they somehow came from a single, asymmetrical mold. “I’m never not listening to you again.”

“I’m certainly never betraying you again.”

“You didn’t betray me. You broke a single promise in the middle of a fucking suicidal depression. And you know what? You know what? I’m spoiled, because most people have loads of promises broken over years, but in all the time I’ve known you, you did it once. What kind of a privileged asshole am I, anyway?”

Jon manages a small but real smile. “Don’t you go insulting my Martin. I might have to wield the Fears against you if you do.”

“Scary.”

Jon nuzzles him and steals a small kiss. “King of scary,” he says solemnly, then grins. “Does that make you my queen?”

“You’re the queen. The drama queen,” says Martin, and they’re both able to laugh.

The heaviness is gone.

The heaviness, in there so long it had become part of the landscape, undetectable.

It’s gone. In its place is a quiet lightness, like summer morning after a storm.

“I’m not letting him have you,” whispers Jon.

And Martin’s heart sinks again. “Jon, he already hates you, for whatever reason. Please don’t make it worse.”

“If he takes you away from me, something very bad is going to happen,” says Jon, simply. “I’m done letting people hurt us. I’m done, Martin. Never again.”

Martin grimaces. “Maybe that’s what he wants.”

“By the time I’m done, he will not want it,” says Jon.

“Ooh, big threat,” says Martin, trying to be funny.

But Jon isn’t funny.

There’s something disturbing about the way he’s saying it. Too calm.

Something changed in Jon during the last hour in this place, and Martin isn’t sure what. He swallows. “So. Wanna know what Kayne says he’s going to have me do?”

“Is that even a serious question? Of course I do.”

Martin nuzzles him. “Well, first, he made all these extra me’s show up.”

(part sixteen)

NOTES

This conversation has needed to happen for months. It's not done, either; but now that they've started down that road, they're gonna be okay.

So much of healing is just choosing to open that door.

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devilbombers · 2 years ago

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Music Rambles: Vocaloid/utaite

for real have been living under a rock all this time because I actually only really got into the vocaloid/utaite scene only about 2 years ago. I REALLY think I missed out during it's peak.

Love or hate vocaloid, you cannot ignore the herstory and impact it has on the world

The beginning of the end

I still recall in highschool some of my friends were really into it and as a matter of fact I was constantly reminded of the fucking kagamine twins just because I have a twin lmao. I thought it was all super cringe though and I would actually get creeped out if people mentioned it and shamed them for it. oh how the tables have turned.

cringe or not, it was impossible to ignore it or deny the yass slayery it has. Some songs I either pretended it sounded like shit and/or listened to in secret was:

butterfly on your right shoulder - the kagamine twins (#1 guilty pleasure at the time)

electric angel - the kagamine twins

just be friends - megurine luka

angelfish - rin kagamine

first love academy, school of true love - rin, len and gumi (fun fact: this is the first song i ever found with gumi in it so i actually thought gumi was a man at first. Ever since then I've accepted gumi as a trans legend lmao)

it really wasn't until I discovered reol did I actually give in to it all. Initially I thought reol's voice was unbearably high and giga's intense beats hurt my brain, but luvoratory is too good to be played once and after a few thousand listens before i knew how i felt i was hooked.

things probably spiralled out of control for me with it all because fast forward to around 2019; miku expo begins and she ACTUALLY has a show in my city. I actually cop VIP TICKETS to go see her. This would've been the craziest shit ever to ever happen to me if it didn't get cancelled because of covid aadjasdsaldlaakl it was supposed to be my first concert too. (on a slightly lighter note; I got tickets a little while ago to go see gumi live in my city!!!!!!!!!)

thoughts on the genre as a whole

I think the most irresistible thing about the whole vocaloid/utaite genre to me is there is no consistent genre to it. It works so well with my personal philosophy of having no favorite music genre of course I have to be so invested in it.

some producers and utaite i like:

giga

nilfruits

yuu miyashita

babuchan

rerulili

kira

oster project

kikuo

ado

mitchie m

utsu-p

Hiiragi Kirai

tsumiki

youman

if you're already familar with some of these guys, you can already tell all of these artists and such are quite vastly different from each other. It's a little beautiful to me in a way how it all is how it is and you can't really see any other music subculture do something like this.

FAVORITE VOICE BANKS

I really want to say it's Rin Kagamine because I'm delusional as fuck and think we're the same person and most of the vocaloid songs i listen to happen to use her vocals. Some years ago during a very boring and so forgettable con I cannot remember what it was called, i was just sitting idly by my table as my friend played songs a little on their speaker. One of the songs they played was Meltdown by iroha and ever since then I can't stop playing it almost every single day and everytime even the slightest inconvenience happens to me; I will blare this song so loud in frusturation.

Vflower is somewhere way up there with fav vocaloids. VERY unique sounding voice and I really like how producers are able to tune her very differently from each other. She's really dominating the scene lately and at this point its IMPOSSIBLE to ignore her. which is exactly why I'm so aggravated at companies and such for not letting her play live or even put her in fucking project sekai!!!!!!! how the fuck are you gonna keep putting her songs in it but not have her in it! i don't care if she's not in the same company theres no way you don't have the money to do it!!!!!!!!

i feel like there isn't a lot of songs by Gumi by herself; i really wish there were more bangers for her. She duets extremely well with mostly rin or miku though. Her voice provider is half-filipino therfor gumi is half-filipino and my only representation in this awful world so i really like her. Very nice sounding voice, theres a lot of opportunity to use her for most things really. I have the exact same issue as i do with vflower, PUT HER IN PROJECT SEKAI AND LET HER DO MORE CONCERTS YOU COWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Megurine Luka has the most prettiest sounding voice for sure. I would group her in my top 3 vocaloids in no particular order with vflower and rin. LOTS of nice range and there isn't much to say i can say other than shes a fucking legend and she's kind of sexy lmao.

THERE REALLY IS NO SONGS FOR MEIKO AND IT FUCKING SUCKS CAUSE SHE HAS SO MUCH UNTAPPED POTENTIAL. Very nice almost silkyish mature sounding voice. Personally i think no one knows how to harness her voice the best than oster project. Maybe it's just because they're the only producer who makes shit for her, but I feel like maybe meiko's voice is best used in dramatic type songs with lots of classic instruments. I'm actually angry at the world for not producing her enough my god

Ms Hatsune Miku; what can i really say except she's literally the bitch of all time. Obviously the vocaloid with the most impact for sure with what i would say is the most balanced type of voice from all the voice banks which gives her lots of opportunity to do literally any song which is exactly why she has so much motherfucking power.

#music rambles #I'll definetly make more posts reviewing various producers and such in a more detailed manner down the line

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thesomebodywho · 5 months ago

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The somebody who?

In my previous post I briefly mentioned possibly wanting to reserve my username being a reaseon for this blog even existing. It feels a bit silly to be attached to a username but I have been thesomebodywho or somebodywho for over a decade now.

What then is the idea behind thesomebodywho? To best answer this I need to start from the beginning.

Sometime in the mid 2000s I started playing Runescape. Of course I needed to come up with a username. That username was "finlandme." The logic behind this was that "finland" signals that I am Finnish and then the "me" part implies that I know English. In hindsight that logic probably did not work although I never interacted with anyone in Runescape, which might have been a blessing in disguise. Unfortunately we cannot then know whether or not my ironclad logic worked.

My Runescape username feels pretty irrelevant but it works as somewhat of a prototype for my next username 'somebodywho.' Back in 2008 I heard of a cool new game called Roblox. Although current Roblox is sadly infamous for unironically exploiting the creativity of children for profits. I suppose this was the writing on the wall even from the beginning but at least Back then we did not have video tutorials about monetizing your game with microtransactions but I digress.

Similiarly to "finlandme" "somebodywho" had a logic to it. This time the "somebody" part was just that an unknown person. The latter 'who' part though was supposed to invoke the feeling of mystery. "Somebody but who" was the question I wanted everyone to think of when they saw me.

Initially it was just another username within the hundreds of usernames others saw daily. Then one fateful day I remember someone actually inform me in chat that they would find out who I was. Now, normally this would be a terrifying threat but considering the logic behind my username I was ecstatic that someone else actually realized the genious behind the mystery I propositioned. Nothing ever came from that but having my username essentially validated did become a core memory of sorts.

On Christmas eve 2010 I got a physical copy of Portal from my late grandfather. Excitedly started creating a Steam account but to my shock and horror I realized that the name 'somebodywho' was already taken. Steam did, of course, suggest variants such as adding numbers to the end or a 'the' in front. Of course I thought that everyone knew who somebodywho from Roblox was and I decided on 'thesomebodywho' because I was the somebodywho from Roblox.

I remember still clinging on to just 'somebodywho' for a few years because I did create accounts after my Steam account where I used somebodywho. Currently I just use thesomebodywho by default unless it is unavailable due to length or being taken.

Despite the cringey and and almost narcissistic origins of my protagonist-ass username I have grown attached to the simplicity and cleanness. Just three words, no caps, no numbers, no special characters, country tags or weird X's around it. To toot my own horn, it is simply minimalistic and beautiful in a way. Coincidentally it is also super un Googleable.

This would not be a complete retrospective on my online usernames if I left out the dark horse of my usernames "GigaManDX." At some point I was really into the MegaMan Starforce series, especially the second game because I only got the first one a bit later and the third game was never released in Europe. (Where is my remastered collection Capcom!?!?)

As a kid I created an OC called GigaMan who was essentially just MegaMan but stronger because giga > mega. This unfortunately managed to bleed into my online accounts.

The bosses in the second game can be rematched for a bigger challenge and better rewards a so called EX-version if I remember correctly. Now, the US version of the game also has hidden DX versions of the bosses only accessible by inputting secret codes. I most likely played the US version because I only owned the game on a bootleg 500 games in one style cartridge. Regardless, these DX versions were super strong and of course to boost my OCs power level I tacked a DX at the end.

In hindsight, of course, all this logic and weird unfounded belief in being famous looks pretty cringey but this all is just what kids do. Realistically I should be proud of my imagination and confidence even if I try to purge GigaManDX off of the face of the internet. The strongest evidence for my wild imagination being quite clever is the fact that I am thesomebodywho even to this day.

#usernames #lore #cringe #retrospection #memories #personal #online persona #nostalgia

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wutheringmights · 3 years ago

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Can I be greedy and ask for all of the boys ? And any characters you have strong opinions on? Pretty please? With lots of cherries and chocolate on top? ( for the ask meme ofc)

Anon, I'll finish up all of the boys in the Chain just for you. And trust me, I have an Infinite Amount of Strong Opinions. You have no idea how Opinionated I Am.

If anyone is coming in late to this, here are the boys I have done already and a short summary of my thoughts (click the hyperlinks to get the full Opinion):

Warriors: he's best when he's the trashy anti-Link, and I like him so much

Twilight: kind of boring, but I have a soft spot for him anyway because you never forget your first

Wind: should have been aged up a little so that he can have that identity crisis I'm craving

This... gets long. Really long. 3-hours-of-work-long. Before you read, please note that even when I speak negatively about something, it’s not to diss anyone who does like the thing. I’m not vague posting or being passive aggressive. This is all written in good humor and good faith.

That being said, let’s a-go!

-Sky-

What I love about them: He has one of the best character arcs of all the Links. I love that he starts off being lazy and kind of a jerk, but grows as a person because he wants to save his friend. And I love that he's truly the most courageous Link. He has no other successful hero of past or legacy to lean back upon to reassure him. He walked into that fight with Demise with no assurance from anyone that he would succeed. Yet, he does it anyway. Because he's a true hero and someone had to be one. And he's rewarded with a curse that he does not initially take seriously. He thinks he's saved everyone, yet he's cursed his spirit, possibly his bloodline, and his entire legacy of the kingdom of Hyrule into a doomed cycle of destruction. All because he dared to face evil incarnate. I love him.

What I hate about them: You know how I called Twilight boring? I should have saved that critique for Sky. LU Sky is actually the most boring interpretation of his character. All of his negative traits? Gone. All of his positives? Also gone. He's the blandest version of himself, and like Twilight, I now feel like I gotta add some spice to him to make him more interesting while still keeping him recognizable. Even so, he's still one of my favorite Links.

Favorite Moment/Quote: When he kicks Twilight's ass at sword fighting. That's stuff is *chef's kiss*

What I would like to see more focus on: You would think that there would be more angst out there about him realizing that he's actually been cursed, but it's still kind of hard to find. He's the Cursed Knight! The beginning of a terrible legacy! Imagine meeting a bunch of heroes for the first time, and instead of being relieved at having someone who understands your experiences, you're filled with horror at realizing that your victory was a false one. You didn't win. Your spirit will never be at rest. Imagine dealing with that realization for the rest of your life. You could never be at peace.

What I would like to see less focus on: I love that he loves his wife, but he's more just the fact that he's married, y'know? I would like to see a little less blind devotion to Hylia and Zelda, and more complicated feelings about being manipulated into being the hero.

Favorite pairing with: Sun/Link/Groose OT3! I have no reasoning behind this other than I like Groose and Groose definitely had a crush on SkSw Link.

Favorite friendship: I won't answer Groose again even if I want to, so I'll say Warriors. I cannot begin to describe how elite this friendship would be if you gave it a chance. They're just two boys dealing with unique positions of leadership and responsibility. They would probably even bond over being shitheads at different ends of the shithead spectrum. It's so good, okay?

NOTP: Ghirahim. I'm not too adverse to this one, but the ship hinges on whether you can redeem Ghirahim or not. In my opinion, Ghirahim is awesome because he's such a fun villain. Redeeming him ruins the fun.

Favorite headcanon: I have a whole life story planned out for Sky. Basically, he lives to be close to 500 years old by the power of the Triforce. He is the Link throughout the Era of Chaos who banishes the Dark Interlopers to the Twilight Realm and seals the Triforce in the Sacred Realm. He actually seals himself in the Sacred Realm as well to keep the Triforce safe, and he fought Ganondorf in when he broke in. Sky, like Time and Wind, does not get a happy ending.

-Four-

What I love about them: Four is origin of the heroes of Hyrule being known for being children. What a legacy to leave behind. He's such an interesting case of an incarnation of the Hero's Spirit, too. He fought Vaati, and he did his job so well that Demise's next incarnation had to be Ganondorf. Four did his job the best out of everyone, and it came at the cost of creating a magic sword that changed him permanently. I like to think that the Four Sword was not meant to split him, that it was a mistake he made with the design. And it's sad, isn't it? You made a defective sword, and like any good sword, it has a symbolic double edge. It gifted you with so much, and yet he can never be the same again. And his story is never well-remembered because it is overshadowed by the Links who fought the King of Evil. He's does so much, yet his legacy is underappreciated.

What I hate about them: I want to prepare you for this Opinion, because I know it's unpopular. Are you ready? Okay. I don't like the Colors. I'm sorry. I want to like them, but they don't interest me at all. Because they are parts of Four’s personality, they have to be one-note archetypes which does not make for exciting storytelling. I also haven't found a fic yet that has been from Four's POV that did the internal monologue of the Colors in a way that wasn't a pain in the ass to read. Maybe if someone can figure out how to do the Colors in a way that doesn't feel like a drag, I would like them more. But in the end, I think Four himself is more interesting than the Colors.

Favorite Moment/Quote: The fact that he didn't want to touch the Master Sword because he doesn't trust magic swords. That is every I need to know about his opinion on his own adventures.

What I would like to see more focus on: I want more of Four as Four. It's getting harder to find content of Four being his own person first and the Colors second.

What I would like to see less focus on: Four being the Colors first and his own person second. There is something about viewing Four as this cover identity for the Colors that doesn't feel right. There's a balance that needs to be strike between his ability to split, how that affects his every day life, and his own identity of being Four. I think I may have read one fic that hit that sweet spot for me, but still.

Favorite pairing with: Shadow. I'm such a sucker for befriending and falling for the enemy. That is all.

Favorite friendship: Dot! Their friendship is super cute. I like the idea of them being super close when they were younger and struggling to keep the friendship going as they age due to how much their paths in life diverge.

NOTP: This isn't necessarily a Four or an LU problem, but people who ship the Colors together? Bro. C'mon.

Favorite headcanon: I'm torn between two different Four and the Master Sword headcanons. On one hand, Four thinking that the Master Sword is just legend until he meets Sky and everyone else is just a fun idea. He sees the legendary sword for the first time and his mind is blown. On the other hand, I also like my Four with a side of hubris. What if he had the option on his quest to draw the Master Sword himself? What if he could tell that if he did that, the consequences would be terrible. He's not sure what would happen, but he knows it would be terrible. So he decided to make his own sword instead to disastrous results. Wouldn't that be tragic or what?

-Time-

What I love about them: Last winter, I did a two hour powerpoint for my friends about the Legend of Zelda timeline. During that powerpoint, I was rating every iteration of Link. What I said about the Hero of Time then holds true to my thoughts of LU Time now. Time is the original Link, more so than Sky in the lore and Legend/Hyrule in real life. Every other hero is a reflection of him. So the fact that his story is about the loss of childhood and the tragedy of that is incredible, and you can see those themes reflected in every other game. Moreso, he’s the only Link with a confirmed tragic ending. Not only does he end his life unsatisfied, but his adventure is failure on every timeline. In the adult timeline, Hyrule is swallowed by the sea. In the child one, Ganondorf returns again. In the fallen timeline, Hyrule fell. I like the idea since that the games themselves are the legends that are past down about each hero, Hylians have also remembered Time as a tragic figure. Yet, they also remember that the happy moments for his life come from small acts of kindness. Even someone as sad as him finds joy in helping others, even if it’s just to small deeds that will not be heralded as grand heroic quests. It’s beautiful.

What I hate about them: This is more about Mask than Time, but Mask is not an adult in a child’s body. He did not rewind time in Termina enough to be considered mentally an adult. He’s a young teenager at best, and that’s me being generous. He is a child who was forced to be an adult and despite the gods being done with him, he cannot conceive of ever having a childhood again. So he can say all he wants that he’s an adult, but he is not. That’s just what he thinks he is.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Anytime we get a flashback to him being a younger adult is great. I want to see more of his in this his early adulthood.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think I just want more of Time being... not a bad leader, but being an imperfect one. I honestly think he’s only the leader because he’s the oldest and enough of the heroes recognize the title of Hero of Time. But he is not the leader type, and he is struggling to keep it together and has to defer to Twilight and Warriors for help a lot.

What I would like to see less focus on: I’m not the biggest fan of Dad!Time for any of the Links. He’s not emotionally ready for it. And I think he defaults to treating the boys like adults because that’s how he wanted to be treated when he was their age.

Favorite pairing with: Malon. He has this great partnership of equal respect with her and it’s just. So good.

Favorite friendship: Linebeck. I know. This exists only in my head. But if these two ever meet, you cannot convince me that they would not get along swimmingly. It would be so good (once Linebeck gets over his crush on Time and stops hitting on him, of course).

NOTP: Child Timeline Zelda. Let me explain: I fully believe in Bi Time supremacy, and when in OoT, he definitely had a crush on Sheik. However, one of the worst parts of rewinding time and being in the child timeline is that Zelda is a completely different person now. They may have been friends in the other timeline, but her life experiences are completely different now. She is not the same person as he once knew. And it’s tragic to know someone as who they could have been, not as they are.

Favorite headcanon: After Termina, Time spent a lot of time with the Nabooru because out of everyone he knew, she’s the only who took him seriously even as a child. She has big older sister energy, and he considers her a part of his family. However, being treated as such made it easier for him to ignore his issues and put off his healing process by a few years.

-Legend-

What I love about them: Veteran of Heroes! What a freaking title. I love that he keeps on finding adventures, and that he keeps hustling. Even if he complains about never getting a break, you can tell that he loves helping others. He loves being on the road, never settling down, and finding adventure after adventure. Honestly, if any of the Links had a calling to be a hero, it’s him. Is he tired? Sure. Is he a little jaded after having saved Hyrule and a bunch of other kingdoms multiple times? Yes. But at the end of the day, he likes being a hero. This is who he is. His complaining is not genuine; he just plays the martyr because, at this point, he’s earned the right to.

What I hate about them: If you can’t tell by now, I have a, uh, different interpretation of Legend from popular canon. Fandom Legend is not right to me. He is unrecognizable. It is hard to write him because I feel like I have to balance what other people think Legend should be versus how I think he is. The people who are big Legend enjoyers probably feel the same way about my version of Warriors, and that’s fine. I’m not going to gel with every character and I don’t expect everyone to gel with how I see characters either. It’s goes both ways, y’know.

Favorite Moment/Quote: I like how subtly he tried to approach the Wolfie problem at first, trying to ask questions and get more proof before confronting Twilight. It’s a good touch.

What I would like to see more focus on: If I had to choose one thing, it’s this one throw away line about him never wanting to settle down. I’m telling you, folks! He likes his lifestyle! And did you see him when he does presenting the origins of the hero? He’s not bitter about being a hero! Legend is moody, but he is not angsty about the whole hero thing. Have fun with him please!

What I would like to see less focus on: If you can’t tell by now, Legend is my least favorite Link. There is a lot I want to see less of, but just to name one thing, it’s the headcanon that Fable is his sister. I live and die by common born Link, and whether he’s a legitimate heir or the royal bastard, I am more than bored with the persistent Prince!Legend content.

Favorite pairing with: Marin. It’s a good tragic story and I like it well enough. She’s cute, and he’s cute with her.

Favorite friendship: Warriors. I’m with everyone else on these two have peak sibling energy. They tease and pick on each other, but only they are allowed to mess with each other. They’re each other’s bully, and it’s always good to see.

NOTP: I do not have enough energy to have a lot of strong opinions about Legend’s romantic relationships, but I will mentioned that I have lost a lot of love for Ravio recently and am liking seeing him with Legend less and less. I have no better reason for this than the fact that I finally played ALBW and hate how many of my hard earned rupees he’s taken from me by withholding important, lifesaving items. Rat bastard.

Favorite headcanon: Remember my headcanon about him being the coolest bad boy folk hero on the block because everyone thinks he kidnapped Zelda? Yeah, I still stand by that one. I did good there.

-Hyrule-

What I love about them: If there is any Link that I would call a gutter rat, it is this one. I struggle a bit to talk about Hyrule since his games gives us so little, but in the end, I always fall back on him being a hero of the people. He is the one who has nothing and relates the best to people who are at their lowest. Yet, he is still a hero. He earns the right to be a hero because he helped Impa in her time of need. He’s selfless and competent. Even if he never got a traditional education, I bet he’s wicked smart too. He is the Link that symbolizes all of the parts of the Triforce the most. And, god. I cannot talk about him without mentioning the blood sacrifice part of LA. It’s such a cool concept, and I cannot imagine what it must be like to go from being the rough and tumble, win-at-all-costs fighting to protecting yourself first because if you don’t, the consequences are disastrous. It’s paradoxical, and it must be such a different mindset to fall into. But it must also be a blessing in disguise since now he has a reason to finally care about himself.

What I hate about them: Who started the Hyrule is innocent headcanon? Come over here because we need to exchange some words. If there is anyone who would be a realist and know how the world works, it’s this guy. And while we’re here, who came up with the Hryule is always lost headcanon? I also have some words for you. And you know what? WHILE WE’RE HERE, who let him be named Hyrule? I’m have more than choice words for you. His name scheme is the bane of my existence and the express reason why I don’t write him more. God.

Favorite Moment/Quote: That one panel where he takes utter delight in Warriors hiding from his scorned lovers? That is a central pillar in my understanding of Hyrule.

What I would like to see more focus on: Again, his relationship with other people. Even if his games are lacking in NPCs, we know from lore that he’s a good guy who will jump in to help others. He must know plenty of people, and I want to see who exists in his world with him.

What I would like to see less focus on: I have an on-going joke with my brother that certain characters are Catholic, even if Catholicism does not exist in the world of the thing we’re watching or playing. Of course, we’re not being serious. we’re just joshing around. So imagine the gut punch I feel whenever I see people say Hyrule is Christian and realize that they’re being serious. I just can’t take it seriously.

Favorite pairing with: Aurora. It’s cute and I’m a sucker for that hero and royalty dynamic, especially when the hero is a peasant. It’s so cheesy, but I love it.

Favorite friendship: Legend. But not the way everyone else pairs them up as the grumpy one and the sunshine one. I think of it more as them being the pinnacle of boys being boys. They’re shitheads. They do stupid shit together. They both have a dark sense of humor. They joke that they’re practically the same person sometimes.

NOTP: uhhhhhhhhh.... Is he paired with anyone else?

Favorite headcanon: I love the idea that he just likes his way of life and refuses to accept anyone saying otherwise. Legend wants to teach him to read? Sorry, but he’s never had to read before in his life so he’s pretty sure he’ll never need it anyway. Want to participate in the treasured Hylian tradition of piercing your ears when you come of age? Why would he ever do that when a monster could rip those earrings off? He’s stuck in his ways and it frustrates everyone else to no end, but he has no interest in ever changing.

-Wild-

What I love about them: When I was 9, I spent my time online on Legend of Zelda forums. I remember one of my forum friends saying that they wanted a Legend of Zelda game where Link lost. And I think of that friend whenever I think about Wild. BOTW Link is the best Link that has ever been. He is the epitome of every trait we associate with any Link. He’s smart and sassy. He’s hard working and kind. But underlining all of that is the fact that he’s still the one who failed. If Demise’s Curse in SkSw is the set-up, the Great Calamity is the payoff. And I haven’t even talked about how confirming him as being non-verbal before the Calamity does so much for his characterization. I don’t even know where to start or how to articulate it. By game storyline alone, Wild is one of my favorites.

What I hate about them: You guys knew this one was coming, but I’m going to have to say it anyway. Fandom Wild.... not good. I’ve said it for half of these boys so far, but god is it true. I have a way I see Wild that is rarely done in the fandom. Fandom Wild has a lot of the traits I also see in Wild, but to all of the extremes. I will mention one thing in particular as being a pet peeve, and it’s how some people headcanon him as always being nonverbal. I know what they’re trying to do, and I think they’re on to something, but they’re also missing the point of what BOTW Link’s character arc is. I just wish more people would forget fandom and work more off of the games for how to characterize him.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Weirdly enough, my favorite moment is when he got mad at everyone for making fun of his Gerudo outfit, so he dumped Goron Spice in his cooking. It’s encapsulates a part of his character I think a lot of people forget about.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think he has a really complicated relationship with his past. He said himself that his old self felt like a different person, and I think that should be explored a lot more. That idea actually fascinates me so much that instead of CTB, I almost wrote a character study fic about Wild. His emotions are not as simple as feeling guilty about letting his friends die and not preventing the Calamity. His emotions would be so complicated and because I don’t have the time to explore it, someone else needs to do it for me.

What I would like to see less focus on: There is a weird fascination with Wild having memory loss and essentially being like a kid again. And this feels infantilizing to me. It honestly bugs me a lot every time I see it.

Favorite pairing with: I can’t decide between Zelda, Mipha, and Revali. They’re all different dynamics and they’re all good.

Favorite friendship: Paya. I firmly believe that Paya is Wild’s best friend. I am the only one in the world who believes this. But I am also the only one in the world who is correct.

NOTP: Wild is good with everyone. Good for him!

Favorite headcanon: An essential scene of my Wild character study I will never write is one where his horse dies. He goes into shock and walks back to Kakariko to talk to Impa. But once he goes to her, he breaks down in tears and has an absolute melt down over the horse. And Impa sagely says, “It’s not about the horse, is it?” She’s implying that he’s actually mourning the loss of his friends, Hyrule, his life, everything-- but through his tears, he keeps tell her that she’s wrong. He barely remembers them. He doesn’t know them. He doesn’t have any feelings about them. He just really loved that horse. But Impa refuses to listen to him, just repeating over and over again: “it’s not really about the horse.”

And that’s it! That’s all of my opinions! I know a lot of my opinions are polarizing, but everything I said is in good faith, and I am not trying to diss anyone for how they approach these characters.

I welcome you to send me your Opinions on the Links, even if it’s just to disagree with me. I’m cool with it, and I like knowing what everyone else thinks!

#so there are my polarizing opinions #heed my note at the beginning and end about acting in good faith #anyway if you read all of this you are obligated to tell me some of your headcanons and opinions #sorry i don't make the rules except i actually do #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu #lu sky #lu four #lu time #lu legend #lu hyrule #lu wild #lu twilight #lu wind #lu warriors #me rambling #ask #anonymous

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forestlingincorporated · 2 years ago

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FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF DARK CRISIS: YOUNG JUSTICE #2

I know I’m late to the party, my copy took AGES to ship

lol I feel like this panel summarizes pretty well how the boys all feel about this whole experiance at the start. I feel a lot for Kon, he’s feeling out of place in the world, and he’s loving the familiarity of the Not Quite Right world around them. Tim has a little bit of that, too, for different reasons, but he’s a very analytical person so he doesn’t ever fully trust what’s around them, even if he’s initially enjoying feeling important and in control. And Bart is just “this sucks.” I won’t really belabor this point too much cause it’s a lot of what we saw last comic, but more from Tim’s POV, who we were less aware of the emotions of last comic due to how in his own head Tim can be with his thoughts and feelings.

“That’s the Conner I remember. Happy, snarky, filled with... life.”

I see what you’re doing.

Please be her partner, please be her partner, please be her partner, please be her partner....

....What? If she’s not gonna date Cassie...

.....pssssssssssh.... I hate sitting here like “I hate everything with the girls” when Cissie’s literally standing there complaining about sexism, but it’s not... written... super well, in my opinion. I cannot tell if this is supposed to be a legitimate criticism or if it’s supposed to be a strawman femininst, and I don’t care for either one. It’s hard to take her argument seriously when it’s coming from Cissie, the privledged white Olympic archer daughter of an Olympic archer, which the comic even draws attention to by Cassie commenting on how Cissie attends the sort of private school that gets you into ivy league colleges. I’m rolling my damn eyes listening to her call the boys privledged, cause girl, have you looked in the mirror?

The first thing Young Justice did was rescue a girl from government expiraments. But sure, the “only people they fought” were “people doing their best.” I’m sure Darkseid and Granny Goodesss were just dOiNG ThEiR beST. You have a crap memory, Cissie.

“Scraped for any attention,” Cissie, you litereally had a stage mom, you had more attention than you ever wanted.

I mean, like, Greta and Anita who, much? You know whose opinion I want to hear about the sociopolitical side of herowork? Anita Fite’s.

Oh, poor Bart. He’s so... Blunt and Aware.

I do love a good art mistake.

Aw man... this world is really selling itself to Kon. “Look! You’re biological father loves you! You’re important! You have a place in the world. You DESERVE a place in the world.”

Honestly, this is where the comic’s been strongest - Conner’s emotions are on full display, align with his past history fairly well, and are easy to understand.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*wheeze* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kon, you absolute himbo.

Okay, okay, so... not sure why this world hit a road block with Tim. It seemed to be trying really hard to sell itself to Bart and Kon, and even if it was less successful with Bart, it still, you know, tried. And then with Tim, it just drops the ball COMPLETELY. Maybe it’s because this world is The 90s But Worse, so it doesn’t know what to do with Tim’s bisexuality, or maybe it’s because Tim never knows what Tim wants so it can’t get a read on him (he was already quesioning if he even really wanted to be Batman like it was offering).

I’m also not entirely sure what this means for Kon, if it means Tim has yet to tell him Bernard is his boyfriend, or if Mr. I Have Two Bio Dads is just... totally unaware of the concept of “it’s just a phase.”

Conner: I Came Out to Have a Good Time and I’m Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now

lmao get his ass, Bart

Not ENTIRELY sure how to feel about this? I stand by I think Conner’s feelings are really understandable given how he’s been written up to this point, but it also feels a bit like a backslide... like, in the Bendis storyline, we had a Kon who was like “fuck toxic masculinity, i am ALLOWED TO CRY.” Now Bart’s like “this is a place for immature little boys” and Kon is like “ok, but me tho.”

But I can justify it as Kon having an off day and feeling bad about himself in the aftermath of Superman’s death with a lot of unresolved issues.

...I can’t really say WHY, but I’m increasingly certain the girls (or even just Cassie) are in a fucked up imaginary world of their own....

A feeling.

I DO NOT buy this. I do not buy that the boys don’t know where Cassie goes when she’s upset. I know for DAMN CERTAIN Conner knows, I’ve SEEN him search her out, literally the answer is “Donna’s statue at Titan’s Tower cause she’s easier to talk to in bronze,” it’s where she and Conner broke up. Not particularly forgettable.

This was a good bit of writing. I noticed that “Cassie” seemed to be with all of them at once, but it also could have been written off as being at different times, I think this was a good bit of foreshadowing.

......I guess this is our bad guy? .......Am I supposed to know who this is, cause I’m not reading the rest of Dark Crisis, I have no idea.

I see! What! You! Did! There!

.....Okay, yeah, I think I have to talk about the ship baiting.

So, ship bait’s fine, it’s annoying if there’s no follow through, but it’s not the same as queer bait. Tim’s canonically queer, he has a boyfriend, there can’t be queerbait. Ship bait just kinda leaves that relationship open as a possibility in the future.

And boy is this relationship WIDE OPEN for possibility in this comic.

......And I want to address how I feel about that given Tim is currenly ALREADY IN a relationship. If they intend to canonize these two having feelings for each other in this arc, there are MANY WAYS to do it wrong, given Tim’s relationship status. I do not want to see a cheating arc, that sucks. But there are ways they could like.... realize they have feelings for each other and have to grapple with “oh, but Tim has a boyfriend.... what does that mean for us?” Which could be interesting. But I anticipate Ber sticking around for a good while longer, given he’s in the description for Tim’s solo.

I mean, I want them together, but now that it’s a real possibility, I’m scared of them fucking it up. Just don’t give me a cheating arc, I will riot.

....I guess I will find out very soon, since the next comic has already shipped to me, but.... why Slade? And is Boomerang for Tim or Bart, it... could go either way.

#lmao the 'slam' onomonopia for Kon throwing down the sandwhich #what is in that sandwhich??? rocks????

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genesisrose74 · 3 years ago

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Requested by @blanknamed (aka my bestie fr): hihi i saw the matchup and remembered my irl friend sent me these pictures when describing my aesthetic at one point and was wondering if i can have a matchup with someone from dsmp and dr. stone 🥺congrats on 1k too! so proud of you ❤️ you deserve this milestone!

Arielle get over here and let me give you a virtual kiss on the forehead because you’re just the sweetest person to ever grace this earth 😚forgive me for the long wait but i had to put so much into this one because it’s for you!! thank you for always being such a ray of sunshine and for becoming one of my first ever mutuals so long ago — and as a show of my gratitude, i’ll get right into your first pairing, which is going to be with…

I had a literal conflict over this because I think you could be compatible with more than half of the characters in dr. stone (looking at gen specifically), but UGH you and Senku would be so damn iconic together. As much as he’s not intent on becoming romantically involved with anyone, it just so happened that you both had a chance meeting together at the school library — in the modern times pre-petrification, of course. You were looking for a book on the development of radiation powered technology for a history class, and by coincidence Senku was reading the blurb of that very text when you stopped by. When you asked if he’d read it, your classmate simply shook his head and said he just knew a lot about the subject, and soon enough a conversation blossomed from that point.

Y’all talked for two hours. While standing in the same spot. TWO HOURS. And it didn’t even stop there because he realized the time and asked if you wanted to talk more over a bowl of this really good ramen he knew about close by. Senku barely even realized the implications of his offer until much later, since…

He was way too involved in your conversation to notice

He’s never had any interest like that in someone before, let alone has he ever tried asking a person out in general

Everything about you was so interesting to him that he cannot process anything else going on around him and he doesn’t know why

You just feel so different in comparison to his dynamic with anyone else that it throws him off. He’s curious as to why he straightens up when you walk in a room, why everytime you smile at his stupid dry jokes it makes him more confident, why your intrigued questions about his work give him an extra burst of adrenaline. After he comes home late, having fallen asleep in the library while you studied for a test beside him, Byakuya eventually spells it out for Senku in massive bold letters.

No, seriously, he writes it on a whiteboard with a chunky black marker.

“That’s ridiculously far-fetched,” he asserts quickly, trying to push his old man out of the room. “Since when have I ever been interested in anyone in that way?”

“Senku, you waited for her to finish her work. Without complaint.”

And he’s like: oh shit—

But knowing Senku, he still makes some futile attempts to disprove the concept that he could ever be attracted to someone in a romantic sense. Ya know, all that, “science is my only devotion” shit. It lasted for about two weeks, which was the exact amount of time that he tried avoiding you in hopes of seeing if he could in fact continue his routine without your presence next to him.

The bitch still cannot swallow his pride though, so you have to be the one to make the first move — which is about as simple as perfecting Flight of the Bumblebee on a violin. Every time you try bringing it up, it’s like Senku gets a sixth sense about it and is pulled away from you as soon as possible. At some point you just had to corner him in the school lab, hands smacking against the surface of his work table and mouth blurting it out.

“I think we should go on a date.”

He’s kinda impressed at the sheer willpower you displayed in finally getting the question into the air. And as much as he would hate to admit it, some happy nerves shot through his body when it happened. On the outside, though, he simply failed to fight a grin.

“Wanna get food with me tonight?”

And you did :D and it only went good from there. Dates at cafes with comfy chairs and pretty lighting, test runs of new experiments in the middle of the night that Senku calls you to see together, just enjoying the presence of one another in a secluded corner of the libraries you frequent. Even after the disaster that was petrification you’re both side by side, being sarcastic little shits to each other as soon as Senku frees you from the stone; doing new tests to save the world, going on picnics by the river, and constantly being of service to one another.

And then from the c!dsmp, I thought it was only fitting to match you up with…

^^ artwork by SAD-ist on YouTube

Listen, listen: I was considering a more standard/expected approach to this matchup, like maybe c!Wilbur or c!Niki because they’ve both got some major academia vibes. Especially Niki, because damn she’d probably take you to her flower shop and make handmade bouquets for you each day. However, I just think that it would be so perfectly fitting to have you and c!Sapnap together aesthetically. He’s very emotionally driven, always doing something stupid, and he probably hasn’t read a book since L’manburg claimed to be a sovereign nation. Regardless of that fact, he could sit and watch you read a book for hours, even if you didn’t ask him to. Standard case of grounded scholar + impulsive idiot = natural soulmates.

Within the region of the SMP, I imagine you like confining yourself to the libraries filled with ancient texts on the vast history of your home — although taking a visit to Eret’s self-made museum is always a pleasure as well. Niki gets along with you easily enough that you hang out together all the time, and it’s on one such occasion in the early days of L’manburg that Sapnap encounters you for the first time.

Dream had sent him out for scouting duty (which to Sapnap translates into, ‘be annoying to everyone within the walls’), and he’d taken to the edge of the country’s small borders, lounging up high above the trees so that he could see everything below with ease. To his surprise he found you, scribbling away within a ragged old notebook underneath a tree canopy, and wearing the prettiest smile he’d ever seen exist on a person before. You were waiting for your friend to arrive, it seemed, taking the ideas in your head and putting them to paper whilst you sat patiently. He was enraptured with you right away, and as a result he took to teasingly pestering you every chance he could.

Sapnap showed up at least once a week — and when he could, more than that — to slowly learn more about you. He tried staying under the radar of Wilbur when he did, just to make sure none of his endeavors were interfered with or got back to Dream in any capacity. Initially, his presence appeared a pain in your side, but your apprehension ultimately fell at the hands of his ridiculous humor and genuine inquiries as to your likes and dislikes. You knew who he was from the get-go, but it was hard not to find delight in his visits when he made such vigorous attempts to know you.

Although you’re sure he’d already learned it somehow, you told him your name one fateful afternoon, and he’s thought about that moment every day since, marking it as the first day he truly made progress in winning you over.

“You should come up here one day so we can talk normally,” he called out on a particularly overcast fall morning. “Maybe then I can see your face up close.”

You laughed, gazing up at him from the hillside on which you reclined. “You’re ridiculous. That’s not how this relationship works.”

“Mm, relationship? Sounds like you wanna gimme a kiss more than saying anything, hu—ow!”

A pine cone had clipped him in the shoulder harmlessly, chucked with expert aim by your own hand. Despite his surprise, Sapnap couldn’t help smiling.

“If you’re working that hard to twist the narrative and get me up there, how about you just come down instead?”

Without missing a beat the next day, he scaled to the top of the nation’s wall, made his way inside (with very little consideration for his safety), and took your face in his hands.

“You want me to?”

You already knew the implications. “Yeah.”

And he kissed you, then and there. Nice job, Ari!

Navigating a full blown relationship in the conditions y’all were in was not ideal. Sapnap tried everything he could to make sure you were safe, despite his distaste for your mother country and its leaders. After that cleared, though, it was a whole lot easier to be together and figure things out. Sapnap didn’t mind you staying within the walls as much as he initially thought because it reminded him of the first time you met, and so long as he could spend time with you he loved every second. Literally ask this man to do anything with you and he’s in, no matter what it is.

The sheer spontaneous energy Sapnap has inevitably feeds into your own, so while you’re much more contained than the pyromaniac, you have some very notable moments of crazy that are simply unforgettable. It’s honestly super funny to see that infectious life invade your senses, because otherwise you’re a super logical person and love entertaining yourself with the more simplistic things.

You work a lot with Wilbur on record keeping and cartography, but something that you and Sapnap apparently have in common is archery. That pine cone throw was no fluke, and he found that out when you came to visit, a shimmering bow fastened to a stock-full quiver on your back. It’s become a pastime to both ride out into the forest with your horses and practice archery (oftentimes mounted) as a way to let out frustration. If the weather conditions are too abysmal to go and do something outdoors, though, Sapnap likes to fall asleep watching you do methodical work, most commonly with his head in your lap as a fireplace crackles nearby. He’s a huge sucker for that cozy atmosphere, even though he tries to be all tough and badass at other times.

This became a huge ramble because I just think this pairing for you works so well, but I’m praying you get the picture. Sapnap is a flirty, slightly whiny, very protective, and free spirited person whenever you’re around, and he’d do whatever he could to see that pretty smile like the first day you told him your name. He thinks the world of you, and in his eyes your intelligence goes unparalleled.

#genesisrose 1k event #milestone event #matchup event #aesthetic matchup #senku x reader #c!sapnap x reader #dr stone matchups #dsmp matchup

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bangtae-sohotddaeng · 4 years ago

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we’ll be counting stars | k.th. | 4

(^ gif cred: ON THE VOYAGE | pinterest)

pairing: idol!Taehyung x publisher!Reader

rating: nc-17 (for language and themes)

summary: You’d sworn off love and relationships forever. You were here to do your job - work with the biggest boyband of the world. Not forge friendships and...and whatever it was that you and Taehyung were building up with these sneaky glances. It was, to be very fair, your Chief Editor’s fault that you’d landed in this mess. Maybe you should quit your job? Maybe you should quit life -

Oh, he was staring again, and did he freaking lick his lips?

warnings: swearing (reader’s got a potty mouth) + this is set like 5 years in the future + reader has emotional issues, she's a relationship phobe + mentions of weed

genre: so much ANGST ugh + fluff + comedy + some crack

words: 4.6 k

note: hey, y'all. i know i've been awol and i'm really sorry about it, but, well - first i went back to uni for a while and got busy with my classes and my boyfriend. but this lasted for, like, barely three weeks, and then i came back home and got covid. yep, i finally got unlucky. my parents got it, too, after me, and the three of us had been home quarantined and getting treated for the past month or so. we're in better health now, though, so i'm getting back into writing. here's hoping i pick up speed super quick! 💜

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series masterlist

gimme feedback, much much appreciated!

Your first week of heading this project with all its roadblocks and exhaustion, as it turned out, had merely been a taste of what was to come.

Your Wednesday at work began on a positive note, though.

Towards the middle of the day, your phone rang, making both you and Jungkook jump.

Cursing, you pursed your lips at Jungkook apologetically, and fished the device out. He nodded at you with a chuckle.

Looking at your phone screen, you realised this was a call you'd been waiting for.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Hello, ma’am. I’m calling to inform you that we’re done.”

Your eyebrows immediately hiked up your forehead. “Wow, really? That’s great news!”

“Yeah, the cleaners will be in tomorrow morning. You can move in by tomorrow evening.”

You actually grinned. “That’s such fantastic news! Thank you so much, Mister Lin. I’ll initiate your payment later, today.”

“Anytime, ma’am. Thank you.”

You disconnected the call with a happy sigh. Jungkook squinted at you. “That sounded like a fun conversation.”

You nodded, smiling. “Our team is moving into an apartment, tomorrow.”

“Wow! You’ve been in the hotel for what, ten days now? Must feel nice!” Jungkook’s eyes sparkled.

You nodded with a sigh, shutting your eyes in relief. “Oh, yes. We’d made reservations at the hotel for fifteen days. We had to move into the apartments within this week. This feels so amazing. I’ll finally be able to prepare my own food.”

Jungkook giggled at that, scrunching his nose up. “Where’s the apartment? Hope it isn't too far.”

“Oh, no, it’s a few blocks away from here. Which is why we had to book a hotel in the first place. We needed two four-bedroom apartments on the same floor, in this specific radius, in three days.” You paused to laugh when Jungkook’s jaw dropped with a gasp. “It was a very hard find. But our agent was sharp, he did a great job.” You clapped your hands together. “I cannot wait to check out of the damn hotel.”

Jungkook nodded in understanding. “Hotels are hard. It could be a seven star luxurious penthouse, but you’d still wanna run away from it after a while.”

He seemed to be speaking from his personal experience, but running away from a seven star luxurious penthouse? You couldn’t relate. You hated your hotel because the curtains weren’t dark enough and the mattress was stiff and you couldn’t afford getting any of them changed. You also hated having to order Chinese every single day, but you also knew you’d be emptying your bank account if you got anything else.

None of this would trouble someone living in a seven star’s penthouse. But you didn’t want to make Jungkook uncomfortable by stating any of this when he was just trying to be a bit compassionate and empathetic.

“Food doesn’t bother me that much, though,” Jungkook continued after a thoughtful pause. “We’re usually either on diets or order takeout. I personally hate the mattresses.”

“Oh yes,” you sighed deeply, the kink in your upper back in absolute agreement. “I’m not really a fan of sleeping anywhere other than my mattress back at home, but hotel beds are the worst of it.”

Jungkook chuckled, nodding. “I completely understand. You remember that story I told you about lugging my beddings over to our dorm when we first moved into one?”

You nodded with a laugh. “Oh, yes. The rest of the boys were getting new mattresses, and you were busy dragging your mattress from your parents’ house. It may sound hilarious, but it’s actually very relatable.”

Jungkook looked a bit bashful as he nodded. “You know, when we first started preparing for our first tour, I had a half a mind to take it with me.”

You barked out a loud laugh at that, the mental image of Jungkook dragging a seven by four piece of bedding around and stuffing it into trailers. He laughed, too.

“Yeah, it was funny and really stupid. Half the time we didn’t even get to sleep in the bed we had taken with us, but whenever we did, I was nodding off the second my head hit the pillow.” Jungkook’s eyes sparkled as he went down the memory lane. “That one was nothing in comparison to the tours we go on now, but it was our first ever experience so it was still pretty difficult adjusting, Tour schedule is a different level of hectic, you know? You don’t have time to eat, you don’t have time to sleep. Just rehearsals and fittings and sound checks. I would fall asleep in makeup chairs,” he confessed with a chuckle, shaking his head fondly, “and when noona would wake me up, I would recall how I wanted to bring my mattress here. Such naivete.”

You smiled, nodding along. You hadn’t yet gotten to the tour discussion yet, as it was planned out for the third month of your blueprint, so all of this was brand new to you. But, at this moment you didn’t want to bring up plans and blueprints. Jungkook was compassionately being candid with you. You were becoming friends, beyond your professional boundaries.

Sighing, you decided to impart something personal, too. “When I moved to the States and got into this company, I rented the apartment with an old friend who was already living there. And it wasn’t my first time living in a house away from my parents. I’d been a university student, lived in dorms then rented apartments, both solo and shared.” Jungkook looked at you pensively, nodding with a little furrow in his eyebrows. “But when I got to this apartment, got all this brilliant furniture set up, all new and fresh, I couldn’t sleep. I missed my home.” Jungkook’s eyes softened, lips pressing down into an understanding smile. “Not the dorm, not the studio I’d been renting—I missed my childhood bed.” You exhaled, recalling all your sleepless nights. “There's this connection you build with the place you call home. I’m sure you must have started to feel this way about your dorms as time went on.”

Jungkook softly smiled, nodding as he looked into space. “Very correct. Tour life made me realise this exact fact.”

You both sat in a few minutes’ quiet, basking in the nostalgic atmosphere you’d built around you.

Then Jungkook grinned at you. “Now you’ll get to experience real Seoul life.”

You laughed. “Oh, yes. And I honestly can’t wait for it. The local markets, the grocery stores, everything. Everything here is very unlike home.”

“I’m sure you’ll love it!” Jungkook exclaimed, wiggling his eyebrows smugly.

You went back to work soon after, with Jungkook tossing in questions about your move and suggestions about what all you should do in the city, every now and then.

It was a good, productive, joyous day. You were hardly even tired when you got back to your hotel to spend your last night on that stiff ass mattress.

Thursday had started off pretty much the same, except for you guys taking a slightly early departure to spare some extra time to set your new place up after your belongings were moved.

By late night, you were all settled in two, pleasant, well-furnished, well ventilated four-bedroom apartments, next to each other. Your housemates consisted of Sana and Simon. Needless to say, you weren’t a fan. But you needed a room to build the office in and you preferred it to be under the same roof as your bedroom because you tended to work odd hours when you couldn’t sleep. Simon and Sana volunteered to share the apartment with the office and you, so you didn't exactly have room for complaint.

From getting the apartment cleaned one last time to accept you all, to ensuring none of you had left anything significant behind in your hotel rooms—you didn’t trust the hotel staff enough to not misuse it if they found anything related to BTS in one of your rooms—you had been the one that took care of it all. It was kinda on you, because you didn’t trust anyone from your team to do the latter responsibly. So, quite naturally, you were dead on your feet by the time you got into your soft as a cloud beddings at nearly 3 o’clock in the morning. Sleep pulled you in the seconds you rugged your covers up.

You were very dead on your feet when you got to the BTS dorm, five hours after you’d gotten into bed. You hadn’t had a drop of alcohol in your system for more than a few weeks, now, but man did you have a hangover.

So it goes without saying that when you bumped into someone on your way to Jungkook’s studio, your eyes were half shut. You wouldn’t have thought much of it and might have slinked away with a mumbled apology, if not for the familiar voice than greeted you.

“Good morning. Looks like you had a rough night?”

You blinked, miles away from sleep within a second when your eyes met a familiar pair of brown ones. Taehyung was dressed in the routine BTS loungewear that consisted of a pastel t-shirt that was one too many sizes bigger on him and dark sweatpants that covered his feet. His hair was the usual black and curly, mostly pulled away from his forehead with a few tendrils dangling over his brows.

Your interaction with him had been meagre throughout this week, only consisting of respectful nods of greetings and waves of goodbyes. You’d meant to ask him how Simon was doing and how he felt about his ideas being taken now, after you’d had a talk with Simon about it. But you didn’t know what you would do if he said he was hating how things were and wanted you to do something about it. So you had kept your mouth shut and watched from the sidelines as you tried to gauge Taehyung’s inner feelings by his facial expressions.

He was an extremely closed off guy, never really letting his face show what he was truly feeling. But sometimes you would catch him looking into space as if he was zoning out of his conversation with Simon. Now, he could very well be thinking deeply about something Simon said—you really couldn’t be sure with the guy. But it had you worried, nevertheless.

God. Why did Simon have to pick out Taehyung’s name?

By the time you realised you’d been staring at him for too long, he had realized it too. “Anything wrong with my… hair?” he innocently questioned, threading his fingers through the front of it.

“No!” you yelped, making him flinch. “I mean, no, it’s not that. I, um. We were moving into our apartments last night and it got kinda late. My brain’s processing things a bit slow, today.”

Taehyung chuckled at that, nodding with his teeth on display. “It’s okay. Congratulations on the move. Hotels suck.”

You sighed. “Tell me about it.”

Awkward silence hung over the two of you as you looked at the floor, at your feet, at his feet, tried to discern if his pants were very dark gray or blue, cleared your throat, scratched your ear, met his shifty eyes again—

“How…how is working with Jungkook?”

His question caught you off-guard. You looked at him in surprise. “Uh…it’s, um. It’s good. Very comfortable, very productive. It’s great, actually.”

Taehyung nodded, pursing his lips as he looked down again. “Simon has been a better listener this week. Did you talk to him?”

A weight was lifted off your shoulders on hearing that. You grinned at him with all your teeth. “Really? That is really good to know. Comforting, even. I did talk to him, yes.”

Taehyung looked into your eyes as his lips spread into a slow, soft smile. “Thank you so much for doing this for me. I thought you would think I was stupid for demanding so much, but…” He shrugged his shoulder, one corner of his lips ticking farther up his cheek. “You made it work. I feel so much better now.”

You exhaled, willing your heart to not beat so fast. It was your job to ensure they were all comfortable, this was part of what you were getting paid for. But somehow, the way Taehyung seemed to have taken it so personally made you not wanna mention the fact in the moment.

Also, he didn’t know how this wouldn’t last. You’d been giving Simon tips to handle himself professionally around Taehyung, literally every single day. It kept the wheel running, but it was tiring both of you out, immensely. Simon was out of his element and you were getting slowly overwhelmed and under-rest due to the amount of responsibilities piling on for you. You were determined to talk this out with your boss, this Sunday, and find a way out before you broke.

Right now, though, you gave Taehyung a bashful smile. “I wanted you to be comfortable and feel good about working on this project, Tae. I am constantly working out plans to better it.”

Taehyung looked at you with so many emotions swimming in his eyes, that the intensity of it almost made you wanna look away. But you didn’t. Instead, you tried to decode what any of it could mean.

This time the silence between you two was not awkward in the least. It was charged—heavy with this unknown tautness between your mind and heart and this indecipherable look in Taehyung’s eyes.

“Tae?”

The trance was broken by Jin, startling both of you.

He walked into the halfway from behind Taehyung, peering around him with a frown. His eyes widened when he saw you. You immediately bowed, always extremely cautious about being respectful around BTS’ oldest member. “Good morning, Jin-ssi.”

He chuckled at your address, insisting that you didn’t have to bow every single time. “Just the respectful good morning is fine. Did you just get here?”

You nodded, subtly glancing at Taehyung whose eyes were slightly rounded and still stuck on you. Why was he acting like you two were caught by Jin? You’d just been greeting each other and catching up!

Right?

Right.

“Ah! There comes Riya!” Jin suddenly announced the arrival of his partner on your team, cutely waving at someone behind you.

Your teammate Riya walked into the hallway after you, having walked here on her own insistence. “Good morning, Jin-ssi. Taehyung-ssi. Boss.”

You smiled at her, nodding in acknowledgement of the respect she paid. “Where’s Simon?” you questioned.

“Just here!” the man himself responded, rushing in after Riya.

You met Taehyung’s eyes, and he nodded with a meaningful look and a small smile on his lips. Your heart felt light.

The unexpectedly happy and positive start you’d gotten in the morning lasted with you the whole day, making your time with Jungkook a lot fun, and fulfilling in terms of work, too.

When Sunday came in and you received your boss’ call, her first question was about how well you were settled in the apartments, followed by how you’d handled things with Simon. You had done a decent job on the former, but the latter was gradually turning out to be a pain in your ass. You told your boss as much.

“Drag it out for another week, and then design a change of gameplan. If he really isn’t doing a good enough job by himself, it’s better if he works with someone else. This whole charade will tire both of you out. And V would be facing issues, too, if Simon’s heart isn’t into it.” Your boss had looked at you solemnly through the computer screen.

“Simon’s heart’s a bit too much into it, boss, that’s the whole issue.” You had derisively chuckled at your joke, but her words had left you thinking into the late hours of the night.

Taehyung had definitely been facing issues, you’d heard it from the man himself. And the respite he thought he’d gotten this week was momentary, because neither you nor Simon could honestly keep up with it for too long. And it was very unfair to Taehyung. This book was supposed to showcase a part of all the boys. A biography was the culmination of one’s whole life—something very personal, precious and endearing. The process of its creation should have been a similar experience for the boys, too.

You really would have to assign someone else to Taehyung.

On Monday morning, you knocked at Simon’s door at seven.

“Just this week, and then you switch,” you told him.

“Really? Oh, my God, thank you so much!” Simon cried out.

“Please accommodate him the best you can.” You sighed. “I’m too tired to give you notes everyday. Will you be able to manage?”

“I’ll accommodate him the best I can, just as you said.”

You hadn’t taken his word for it, but it seemed like the knowledge of his misery ending soon had done Simon well. He did a fair job of maintaining his professional composure, and on Tuesday, when you went in to grab a cup of coffee from the kitchen, you saw the two of them laughing about something, too. Taehyung had politely greeted you, exchanging more than a nod for the first time in more than ten days—minus that one altercation in the hallway, of course—and then immediately went back into the discussion.

He seemed to be really into it.

It made you feel a lot better.

On Friday, you and Jungkook went for a walk by the pool in the late afternoon with a cup of ice cream in your hands. He brought up Taehyung, asking how the elder was doing.

“You told me he was having some trouble with his partner?” Jungook asked, biting into a huge glob of chocolate ice-cream like a maniac and braving the brainfreeze with a straight face.

You grimaced at the sight. Then exhaled, plopping a spoonful from your own ice cream into your mouth. “He’s doing a lot better, now. It might not last, though”

Jungkook, instead of quizzing your ominous statement, nodded in understanding. “Does it have something to do with what I told you about hyung’s personality?”

You sighed. “Pretty much. We might have to change his partner.”

Jungkook paused at that. “Is there a possibility that…” He trailed off, confused, doe eyes looking at you.

You couldn’t lie to him. You shrugged. “Everything’s on the plate.”

On Sunday evening, you decided to gather the team for the call with your boss. Sending them a quick message once you all got home, you hopped into the bathroom for a long, relaxing showe.

When you came back, you stepped into your office to the welcome sight of your team occupying bean bags and chairs and spread across the entire surface area of the place.

Collectively, you all brought up Taehyung’s partner with the Editor-in-Chief.

“Why don’t you do it, Y/N?” your boss questioned you after the rest of them had briefed her with their progress so far and detailed out their future plans with their assigned boys.

You sighed. “I have been doing just as great as the rest of them, boss. It wouldn’t be ideal for me to stop working with Jungkook after we’ve been making such great progress.”

Your boss took her glasses off, the highlight on her nose glistening as her movement caught light. She shook her and then sighed. “One of you is going to have to make a sacrifice.”

Simon, rightfully, flinched with a guilty face.

“So either you talk one of your team members into doing it, or you do it yourself. You’ve got one whole week to discuss it. Tell me what you decide, next Sunday.”

You kept tossing and turning in your bed. You’d either have to force one of your team members. Or you’d have to disappoint Jungkook. Your prospects really weren't looking good.

You would like to believe you and Jungkook had become friends in these three weeks. It is impossible to remain a stone-faced stranger with someone literally relaying the story of his entire life to you. And besides that, too, Jungkook was a very likeable guy. He was a curious soul with a myriad of interests. Taking notes on literally every topic would always branch out into an enthusiastic conversation between the two of you.

Sighing as you recalled how the two of you had shared your roller-skating experience with each other just today, you shut your eyes and decided to finally go to sleep.

On Monday morning, your team members were gathered in your new office to begin with the scripting process of the biography. As you got down to comparing notes and checking off boxes, each one of you resolutely ignored the gigantic elephant in the room—that fact that one of you would not be working with the same person when this week was up.

Strangely, this forcible change of partners was weighing down on all of you not just because of how much more labour it would cost, but on an emotional level, too. Which was a very unfamiliar concept, at least to you. You never got attached to clients, knowing it would only cause hindrances when you had to criticize their work—which was why they were talking to you in the first place. You had been somewhat lucky too, in a way, because it wasn't easy for you to get attached to people.

But Jungkook turned out to be just a really easy person to get along with. You really had become friends.

This, you suddenly realised, would also mean that Jungkook would make friends with another partner just as easily.

“Guys, remember—it’s not just their story that we’re writing, it’s ours too!” you announced to your team, clapping your hands to raise their spirits as the six of them worked on their computers. “They’re the narrators, sure, but we are the writers. Use your words wherever you find fit, do not hesitate to trim, omit or add. This is what we were hired to do.”

At noon, you all ordered takeout and took a break.

“We’re all really on schedule, boss,” Riya, Jin’s partner, spoke up from her spot across the room from you. Her rounded eyes narrowed suddenly, and she winced. “Well… except Simon, but we kinda already expected that.”

Simon, seated on a bean bag to your immediate right, cleared his throat. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“You’ve been really shitty at your job, Si,” Areum, Jimin’s partner, commented, looking at Simon through her round framed glasses, her face displaying disappointment.

“He really has,” you added. “But it cannot go on like this. You’ll have to be really professional with your partner, this time round, Simon. You’ve really done a lot of damage with Taehyung. Boss won’t just pull you off the project if something like this happens again, she’ll fire you.”

Simon visibly gulped, nodding with his wide eyes fixated on you.

“So, who’s gonna take his place?” Nathan, Yoongi’s partner, butted in, prompting Sana to stop stretching. “Have you decided yet?” he asked you.

You exhaled. “Why not ask dear Simon who he wants to work with? The last time he kept protesting about the assigned choice, and I didn't listen. Maybe he’d have done better if the selection of his partner was voluntarily done by him.”

All eyes turned to Simon. He cleared his throat, looking beyond nervous. “Please don’t put me in this spot. One of you will have to let go of a month’s worth of hard work for me, as it is.”

You looked around the room. “Any one of you willing to switch?”

Five pairs of eyes turned to look at you incredulously. “No one’s gonna willingly give their research up for you, Simon,” Charlotte, the only redhead on your team and Hoseok’s partner, spoke with a roll of her eyes. “None of us.”

“Simon,” You sighed. “Choose.”

And then Simon squeezed his eyes shut and fisted both his hands to whisper, “Jungkook…maybe?”

Of fucking course.

Later that night, you had calmed yourself down enough to tell yourself that everything was gonna be okay. You could be a darn hardass professional when you needed to be. In fact, being humble and empathetic was usually what posed a challenge to you. You would very smoothly transition into working with Taehyung, you were sure of it.

You belatedly thought about how much change these past three weeks had already brought about in your nature. You were starting to show a lot more compassion than you’d thought yourself capable of. That kind of came in this job’s description, because biographies made people vulnerable, and vulnerable interviews required compassion.

You had to unlearn some of the things you’d picked up over the span of your adult life to save yourself from hurt, and also the guilt that came with hurting others. Jungkook also helped, in a way. His openness and just the overall cheerful vibe that his nature eluded made you want to be more of a friend to him than a writing guide or an interviewer.

You wondered how Taehyung would be.

There was something undeniably intense and mysterious about him. Now, you weren’t naive enough to want to “unravel” the guy’s mysteries, but you sure were irked and curious. Maybe he was one of those kinds of artists that literally lived in their art.

Back when you didn’t work in this company with this hectic schedule and had enough spare time on your hands to write, you used to pride yourself to be one of these kinds of artists, too. You lived in your stories, kept building characters up wherever you went, whatever you did. You wondered if it was something similar with Taehyung for music.

You would find out, eventually. There was no point pondering it so much.

Sighing, you turned off your side lamp and decided to retire for the night.

Your writing week was gliding past smoothly. It was just Wednesday, and you all, ahead of the schedule, were at the verge of finishing up your writing parts.

“Are we super efficient or did we sign up for a longer duration of time than needed for this whole project?” Sana questioned, typing away on her laptop.

You snorted. “Or maybe, we didn’t design the blueprint with as much uniformity as we’re required to.”

“You don’t always have to critique everything, boss,” Charlotte, Hoseok’s partner chimed in, flipping her long mane of auburn hair off her shoulder as she shot you a look.

You glared right back at her. “Uh, actually, I do. That’s kind of my job here.”

You’d been harsher than was needed, making the whole room go quiet. Only the clicking of keyboards echoed around you all for a while.

“Where’s Simon?” Nathan, Yoongi’s partner, asked after some time.

You sighed. “In his room, finishing up his writing work there. He doesn’t feel comfortable sitting between all of us because, and I quote, y’all give off really judgy vibes that fuck with my concentration.”

“That might actually be true,” Areum, Jimin’s partner, mumbled in Korean under her breath.

“Did you mail Manager Woo about the switch yet, boss?” Nathan asked you as you got up to get a refill of your coffee.

You exhaled. “Nope, I'm stalling,” you confidently confessed, leaving the office to make a trip to the kitchen. On your way back, you knocked at Simon’s door before peeking in. “You doing okay?” you asked him flatly.

Simon gave you a nod, not moving his gaze from the laptop screen. You rolled your eyes and came back to the office.

“Should one of us do it? If it won’t look too unprofessional?” Sana asked.

You wrinkled your nose. “It would look grossly unprofessional, Sana.” You pursed your lips as you sat behind your laptop again. “Fine, I’ll do it right now.”

You took a sip from your coffee, and opened your email. This was final, now — no coming back.

You were officially gonna start working with Kim Taehyung.

gimme feedback, much much appreciated!

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series masterlist

Tags: @tangledsparkles @hoefortaeshands @getmemyfries

#vantaenet #bangtanarmynet #btswriterscollective #ficswithluv #thebtstown #taehyung angst #bts angst #taehyung fluff #bts fluff #taehyung imagine #bts imagine #v angst #v fluff #v imagine #jungkook imagine #bts v #bts jungkook #*mine #f: wbcs

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shaechans · 4 years ago

Text

dream! reaction

group: nct dream (ot7)

desc: someone flirting with their s/o!

genre: fluff and angst?????

word count: 1.1k

a/n: lmao lmao i remember writing this last year and drafted it cause it was too cringy puke but now i have gained a tiny bit of confidence and let’s see maybe i might be able to post some more in the future!! y’all can request. also, this is pretty short but i hope y’all like it anyway<33 also random gifs sooooo yay! also also i have so much to say im so sorry i tried to make this as gender neutral as possible so please let me know if i need to change something, i would like everyone to enjoy!!

lee mark

usually, in your relationship, mark is pretty mature (which means you be wildin and he's always there to control your ass). that also means that he's real protective of you and is basically a second mom to you. so when he saw that dude actually picking up guts to talk to you while he was literally standing next to you in the mcdonalds queue, oh was he pissed! although, he would try to keep his chill, which did not exactly work by the way you would end up trying to calm him down. he would start by sending off cold and sharp glares at the dude while wrapping a protective arm round your waist, completely violating his pda rule. with mark's stares striking his soul, the guy was soon gone, with which mark heaved out a relieved sigh.

“babe you need to stop being so pretty. it's not helping me in anyway!”

huang renjun

this boy is already damn whipped for you, even if he acts all annoyed and shit, that's all the loving he's giving (so you better fucking accept or there's gonna be a gun to your head). when he first saw that dude acting up all over you and flirty he would activate his over protective switch and turn all manly and serious. renjun pure baby boy lasted long anyway. as soon as he walked over to the very uncomfortable you, he'd make sure the boy fled taking in his cool and broad shoulder exterior. after the guy wasn't in his sight anymore, renjun would mutter a few curse words, only heard by you and wrap you in his arms, making sure to have you pampered by him and never letting you leave his line of sight.

“thatʼs right, you better make a move before my gangster shoulders do.”

lee jeno

BABY BABY BABBY BABY-

being already very vEry over protective boyfriend he is, the guy flirting with you better think twice. jeno absolutely hates when he sees you talking to a someone that is a not him. you better damn expect him to be pretty much raging when he saw this one dude's hand on your leg while you were seated next to some fountain waiting for jeno's arrival. without wasting a second, he would rush over and stand behind the guy, fumes very evidently leaving his ear holes. ʻiʼm sorry but who do you think you are touching her like that?ʼ he would start to question, startling the guy in front of him. when he saw you heave a huge sigh of relief and rush to his side, he would feel so guilty for not reaching there sooner and grabbing the jerk by his shoulders, he would shove him away. after he calming down a little, he would pull you into a hug and never leave your touch for the rest of the year.

“oh my god baby i'm so sorry for leaving you here alone with that asshole.”

lee donghyuck

now this boy is already super cocky and shit so you'd expect him to take this whole situation as a joke. but hell no you nasties. hyuck's much more than just a jokester. he's a great boyfriend and so if he ever witnessed a scene like this, it'd make him feel quite disappointed with himself, saying that he's never there for you and stuff like that. anyway, seeing you trapped in a somewhat alley that your house stood on, almost at a dead end, a disgusting man trying to have you appealed by him, he would never just stand there shocked. donghyuck would probably do the unexpected and punch him square in the face. rethinking the situation you got into, a few tears would appear at his eyes while you pulled him into a hug, comforting him.

“no one else is allowed to touch you or i will so not spare them!”

na jaemin

jaemin's already super head over heels for you that you cannot count the number of heart eyes he gives you. so when he saw to have a ʻconversationʼ with a dude not him, you'd expect him to feel really sad and upset. at first he thought he was a close friend that you were happily catching up when he took in the look on the guy's face. although when his eyes flickered toward your quite uncomfortable expression, he would make his move as to save you from the discomfort. marching over to where you stood, he would wrap both his arms around your waist, placing a quick kiss to your cheek, looking up at the guy asking

“so what were y'all talking about babe?”

zhong chenle

chenle is that boyfriend who is always super delighted at your presence and again, super whipped for you. he may not be the person to step up or initiate stuff but if it's for you then consider it done and there's a very limited amount of stuff you can deny coming from him. so when chenle had come with the idea of stepping out of the house for a small walk, you could never ever deny (and don't you dare!). so while walking, chenle decides to get ice cream and leaves you by yourself on a bench, when some boy around your age shows up with his dog and bad flirting skills. while so intrigued by the little poodle, you hardly payed attention to the guy so when chenle showed up all angry, to say that you were puzzled would be an understatement. not able to say much before the boy got dragged away by his pup, chenle was quite relieved he didn't have to test his muscles. although, he still wanted to let you know that he would risk it all for you, even his five minute work out energy.

“i'm so sorry for dragging you here only to be flirted with some dog man, ugh! here's some ice cream though<33”

park jisung

jisung is that boyfriend who seems to be pretty shy and embarrassed by literally everything you do (damn it y/n). not only that, he may be a little insecure as well as he sees a heap of good looking korean boys his age everyday. afraid to lose someone as precious as you, he would at times join in the weirdness with you like how chenle taught him. anyway, despite his insecurity being at peak lately this random dude from your class decides to ruin everything and bring his levels to a max. whilst flirting, jisung would overhear the conversation thinking that you would flirt actually back. this suddenly him and he would distance himself from you. so you were surprised to not find jisung and when you eventually did, he was crying (poor baby). so of course you comforted him saying that you loved him only and there was no way you were flirting back there with stupid han gongjoo.

“so you still like me?”

#nct #fluff #nct fluff #mark #mark fluff #renjun #renjun fluff #jeno #jeno fluff #haechan #haechan fluff #jaemin #jaemin fluff #chenle #chenle fluff #jisung #jisung fluff #mine #nct reactions

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every1studio · 4 years ago

Text

“vampire lords” [ateez]

genre: misc. + a lil suggestive + otome-styled (reverse harem)

ficstyle: bulletpoints (fem reader)

prompt: inspired VAMPIRE PRINCES INSPIRED BY OTOME GAME ROYAL BLOOD

note: sorry for the wait! I’m officially back and I’ll be posting as often as I possibly can!!!

Let’s meet the heirs of the vampire lineage. Who would you choose to be your lover and take over ruling the vampire clan?

-HONGJOONG

(type: the reliable, “leader-worthy” heir that gets picked on by the other princes; known for being a flirt)

(special power: psychometry - the ability to learn anything about the past or future of an object by touching it)

the one that you met first

after talking with your father, the Earl, about your living conditions here at the estate, you took it upon yourself to explore the premises

upon walking around the vampire estate, you heard a dramatic yet gentle melody that belonged to an old harpsichord

the melody sounded nostalgic even though you don’t remember hearing anything so hauntingly beautiful

you followed the sound into a glass greenhouse where the harpsichord sat in the middle of the room

you were entranced with the man playing his heart away

all you could see was his body swaying to and fro with his fingers dancing across the keys

his hair was slicked back and shined sapphire blue in the moonlight

his strong brows furrowed as he played the instrument

the keys he played were furious yet calming; like the beginning of a storm

his hands were adorned with black, sleek gloves

as if he was telling a story about his life; the good, the bad, and the bloody

you don’t know how long you were standing there but when the music stopped, you met the eyes of the man playing the harpsichord

“you must be Y/N...” he asked as he stepped towards you; his footsteps echoed in the spacious greenhouse

his eyes glimmered red every time he was in the moonlight

you nodded but unable to speak or move

his aura was intimidating yet alluring

but the moment he smiled, you felt like you were safe in this unknown place

“I’m Hongjoong~ I’ve heard all about you from the Earl! let me know if you need ANYTHING!”

you broke out into a smile but before you could say anything...

Hongjoong brushed the hair away from the nape of your neck with his gloved hand and leaned in real close, so close that you could feel his breath of your skin

“and when I mean, anything.. I mean anything... princess~”

you stumbled back away from him, “I-I’ll make s-sure th-that I’ll let you k-know when..”

he was good-looking; seemed playful and almost flirty behind his initial scary demeanor

he had you flustered

Hongjoong chuckled as he took off one of his gloves and reached to place his hand on your face

but....

will you choose his story?

or will you choose someone else?

-SEONGHWA

(type: an enigma, no one really knows about him except for the other princes; the oldest)

(special powers: shape-shifting and illusion-making)

“stop teasing our guest..”

you heard a voice coming from behind you

Hongjoong dropped his hand and cocked his head in annoyance, “I’m doing no such thing, I’m just making sure our guest is welcomed, that’s all..”

you saw a living and breathing sculpture

you felt your jaw gaping; you couldn’t help it

“you can do that with your gloves on.. you don’t want to invade our guest’s privacy, don’t you?”

as soon as the mysterious man’s sharp gaze lowered to meets yours, you quickly looked away

“I hope he wasn’t making you feel uncomfortable.. please excuse his behavior..I’m Seonghwa..” he places his hand on his chest and gives you a curt bow

you returned the bow, “I’m Y/N..”

Seonghwa gives you a subtle smile that you didn’t know he could be capable of, “I know who you are...”

he adjusts his outfit and held his hand out for you to take

“do you mind if I gave you a little tour, miss Y/N?”

you nodded as you placed your hand into his

“tch.. I was gonna offer if you weren’t already here... when will you stop having impeccable timing..” Hongjoong rolled his eyes as he walked back to the harpsichord with his hands in his pockets

“when you stop flirting as much as you breathe”

with that Seonghwa led you away from the greenhouse

he gave you a grand tour of the estate starting from the gated entrance

Seonghwa was short with his words but they were endearing

but as he gave you the tour, you noticed a couple of things

he always had a couple of crows fly to him every so often

and he seemed to have a problem with mirrors and reflections

usually every time you come across one, you would at least give a quick look but Seonghwa seemed to avoid them as much as possible

“miss Y/N.. is there something on my face?”

“hmm? no? why do you ask?”

Seonghwa leaned in a little closer to you and said, “you’ve been looking at me more than you’re looking at where you’re walking...”

you started to become a tomato and you could see him sneak a subtle smile

“just kidding, miss..” he murmured and continued to give you the tour

he was truly mysterious; he was friendly but you could tell that he wanted some distance between how he seems like to you and how he really is

....

will you choose his story to find out why?

or will you choose someone else?

-YUNHO

(type: boy-next-door; doesn’t seem like a vampire at all, but has a sensitive, fragile and frightening side)

(special power: alchemy)

“Seonghwa~ the Earl is calling for you- oh! hi Y/N!” the voice came from a tall man

out of two of the other vampire princes that you met, he seems the least like a vampire; he seems like he would be in on a college campus getting some beers for a party

“oh is that so.. please excuse me, miss Y/N.. I will have to conclude this tour to a halt-”

“a tour? I can guide her through the rest of the way.. leave it to me~” the tall puppy-like man gave a comedic salute to Seonghwa

Seonghwa nods, places his hand on his chest and bows, “I apologize for the unexpected inconvenience.. I’ll leave this miss Y/N in your hands, Yunho”

with that, Seonghwa left

leaving you with a giddy Yunho, “I’m guessing Seonghwa started the tour from the entrance right?”

“yeah he did!” you couldn’t help but answer with a smile since he’s already smiling

“so all that’s left is the east wing~ shall we?” he stuck his arm out for you to loop your arm through

you giggled at his enthusiasm as you looped your arm through his

you realized that he’s not the textbook definition of what a vampire looks like

which played pretty well since you could feel comfortable talking to him just about anything

the way he talked felt so familiar even though it’s the first time you met him; he was probably going to be someone you can lean on

you two made a final stop in front of a pair of heavy-set steel doors; no other room in the estate had these kind of doors

“this is my room~ the one room you CANNOT enter.. NO MATTER WHAT! OK?” Yunho tried to be playful to lay down the rule because he didn’t want to seem pushy

“what if I need a late night chat?” you tried to match his playfulness but that backfired

his eyes hid behind his bangs and he stood between you and the door

“my room is none of your business.. there’s no need for you to waltz inside, just knock on my door.. but you better not go inside, Y/N.. promise me you won’t come into my room...promise me now”

his voice lowered a couple of octaves and even though he hid his eyes you could see a red glow through his bangs; this scared you, it was like he was a different person; he really seemed like a vampire

“I-I promise..”

and like a flip of a switch, Yunho went back to smiling and his eyes weren’t glowing blood red anymore, “good, well that’s the end of the tour! let me know if you need anything~ is there any place you want to check out?”

you were still shaken up by his switch in character, you needed a break from it

“I’ll just walk around.. don’t mind me.. thank you Yunho~” you waved at him and went on your way...

...

will you choose his story and learn his secret?

or will you choose someone else?

-YEOSANG

(type: shy but romantic; a bookworm)

(special powers: telepathy and telekinesis)

to take your mind off of things, you went to the library and thankfully you were blessed with good memory so you knew where the library was

you pushed the heavy doors of the library and you were amazed; it was better than any library you’ve ever seen

there were bookshelves that were lined with books all the way up to high ceiling

you walked around the library like it was an unknown wonderland

there were spiraling stairs and aesthetic reading areas; this library would rival any others out there in the world

you were running your fingers along the spine of the books until you came across a secluded reading area

there were two tall leather armchairs; one of them were stacked with books and the other was occupied by a sleeping beauty

it seemed like he was sleeping; his head was rested on propped up arm with his book in his lap

you got closer to him and squatted down to see his face; you thought his profile was beautiful enough but now that you’re closer, he’s even more beautiful than you’d ever imagine

you went to reach his face to see if he was actually real or not

“I’m not a statue..” he murmured as he caught your hand before you touched his face; his eyes were still closed

“h-how did you know I was here? do vampires have super-heighten senses?” you were caught by surprised and was rambling

you calmed down a little when you saw him open his eyes

all of the heirs probably had different colored red eyes but his were different; it was a true red with gold flecks that made it seem like he had gold splinters stuck in his irises

“you could say it’s something of the sort..” the man sits up straighter and cracks his neck to relieve some tension

“nice to meet you, miss Y/N.. I’m Yeosang..” he turns to face the books on the other chair and the books start putting themselves away on the shelves

then he turns to you and reaches his hand out

you take it thinking that he’s only reaching his hand to shake it but he pulls you up from the ground and wraps his other arm around your waist

“do you really think I look better up close?”

“HUH?” how can he read your mind? is this another vampire ability?

Yeosang realizes that he’s being more bold than he usually is and let go of you immediately and starts to fumble with the hem of his sleeves

“ ..it’s a special power of mine, my powers are only exclusive to me and no one else.. I apologize for intruding in your mind space.. I won’t do it again!”

apparently he was so embarrassed by his previous actions that he ran away, giving you no chance to say anything

“Yeosang?!” you reached out for him but he ran away at the speed of light

what a character, you thought to yourself

...

will you choose his story and find out what he was reading?

or will you choose someone else?

-SAN

(type: looks edgy and grungy at first but is really sentimental; is also the Phantom Thief, the modern-day Robin Hood)

(special power: magician)

after you left the library, you felt a little hungry so you went to go to the kitchen to find something to eat

the kitchen staff were exceptionally nice to you and left after they offered you a midday snack; there were finger sandwiches and cream puffs that were exactly made to your taste

“for a little one like you, you sure eat a lot”

you turned after choking on your cream puff from being startled

“hey, miss.. you okay?” the boy offered you some water to clear your throat

“y-yeah.. thank you-” you paused to wait for a name from the strong-featured man

you were slightly embarrassed to have such an exceptionally looking guy see you being a mess

“the name’s San, at your service, miss~” he showed an unexpectedly cute smile

geez are all the heirs perfect looking?

yes, yes they are

“sorry you had to see all of that..” you murmured at the raven-haired boy

it seemed like he just came from an intense workout; sweat glistened all over his body but he smelled like he just came out of a Versace cologne commercial

“it’s alright, miss.. hey, miss.. you okay?” he got close to your face after inspecting your flushed face and reddened ears but you nodded as you made space between the two of you

he thought maybe he made you feel uncomfortable or maybe it was just a little awkward or maybe he made you upset in anyway; he needed to break the ice

“hey miss, do you like magic?” San sat in the seat next to you as he crossed his legs

“magic? like harry potter’s kind of magic?” you pondered as your doe-eyes sparkled in confusion but your eyes couldn’t meet his

“no like, a magician’s ”magic”.. you know like rabbits in a top hat and stuff like that..” San started to get giddy

“oh... yeah... I know what you’re talking about.. but why did you ask?”

he was ready to knock you out of your socks; he stretched out his arms, pretending to stretch

“well you seem a little..” softly brushing your hair behind your ear, “distracted..”

he pulled a beautiful amulet from your hair; your eyes widened in shock

it’s not like he’s wearing sleeves to hide such a fairly large amulet; the jewelry really appeared out of thin air

“you can keep it, miss~ think of it as a welcoming present from yours truly~ see ya later~” San waved at you as he walked out of the room

“wait! this looks expensive! where did you get this? how did you do that-” when you walked out of the room to chase after him, he was no where to be found

...

will you choose his story and find out how he did that?

or will you choose someone else?

-MINGI

(type: gentle beast; only smiles for you; known to others as the vampire assassin)

(special powers: invisibility and hawk-eyes; can switch eye-sight from x-ray, temperature, to long-range)

you were still confused about San’s magic trick

unable to pay attention to where you were going

cue the cliche scene where you trip on your way downstairs to the large dance floor of a lobby

you squeeze your eyes shut but instead of a deadly and nasty fall, you fell onto someone with a strong build

“miss Y/N, you should watch where you’re going..” the deep voice of your savior made you a little too scared to open your eyes

“are you hurt, miss Y/N?” although his voice was deep, it was filled with care

you slowly opened your eyes and saw his soft eyes that looked like they were a pair of Madagascar rubies

“n-no.. I’m not.. I’m sorry.. I should’ve watched where I was going..” you tried to shift yourself away so that you weren’t leaning on him for support anymore but you almost fell, again

the deep-voice man held your hand so that you wouldn’t fall, “let me at least escort you down the stairs, we can’t have anything bad happen to the Earl’s daughter...”

“thank you... I’m not used to these steep stairs yet..” you murmured; you probably have a permanent blush by now

“it’s nice to finally meet you, miss Y/N.. my name is Mingi-”

the sound of the harpsichord could be heard from where you two were

“Hongjoong must still be playing music...”

Mingi nods and turns back to you, “he could play for hours.. miss Y/N? since we’re here on the dance floor, would you mind if I asked for a dance?”

you looked everywhere but at him, “i-if you insist.. it would be a waste of this music and this dance floor...”

without another word, he slips his hand on the small of your waist and interlocked your small hand in his

you felt like you were Belle and he was the Beast; from Beauty and the Beast

it was like you were at a ball, wearing a stunning dress that swayed to follow Mingi’s lead

the fact that he was only looking at you and smiling at you made you believe that Mingi wasn’t as scary as you thought

he spun you out but you felt another hand take you away from Mingi’s

...

will you choose his story and continue to dance with him?

or will you choose someone else?

-WOOYOUNG

(type: kind of childish; is uninterested in many things except for you because he’s met you before)

(special powers: teleportation and mind-control; to control someone physically but not mentally/emotionally after consuming their blood)

you completely let the other person pull you away from Mingi and carried you like a princess

“you should be careful of him, miss Y/N.. he’s a very dangerous assassin, you know~”

you looked up as you were still being carried; if looks could kill, you would be dead by now

but from your angle, you can’t really make out his full face

“if miss Y/N should be careful of anyone here, it would be you...” Mingi rolled his eyes as he got closer to you and your carrier

the male stuck his tongue out at Mingi and started to dash away

“you’re just mad because you got her taken from you.. sorry, not sorry, but dancing with Mingi is one of the most BORING thing you could ever do~”

before Mingi could get to you, you were shrouded in a poof of a cloud

when the cloud cleared up, you could tell you were in another part of the estate

“you can teleport?” you asked

but then when you saw his face clearly, you wanted to ask another question, sadly you missed your timing

“wow, you’re not even gonna ask what my name is..” the man places you gently onto a plush sofa

you looked around the room; this must be the common area

“I’m Wooyoung, at your service~” he bows quite dramatically

“I’m guessing you already know my name..” you grabbed a pillow for comfort

Wooyoung sat right next to you and started to twirl with a strand of your hair, “I know more than your name..”

your eyes opened and got close to him, “you can read minds too? have we’ve met before? did we meet in another life?”

Wooyoung started to laugh at your cute remarks, “no I can’t, that’s Yeosang’s thing... but I’m glad that you were thinking about me~”

Wooyoung cupped your face with his veiny hands and got real close, “we’ve met before.. when we were kids..”

your excitement caused your forehead to slam into his

“really?! when?! what happened?! I don’t really remember!”

although you were fine, Wooyoung’s forehead was throbbing

“my head is spinning now, there’s no way I can tell you~” he half-teased, half-spoke the truth

“what?! no way... is there anything I can do to help you?” you were concerned; you have always been hardheaded... literally

Wooyoung lowered his chocolate red-brown eyes and snickered under his breath, “if you give me a kiss and make it better, I’ll tell you~”

you got up from your seat; blushing, of course, “what are you a kid?! forget it!”

“wait, miss Y/N.. I was just kidding!”

you darted out of the room

...

will you choose his story and go back to find out how you two met before?

or will you choose someone else?

-JONGHO

(type: rarely talks but watches out for you; unlimited strength and does anything you ask of him)

(special power: blood absorption; the ability to absorb blood and/or use it to convert into anything)

you didn’t know how long you ran for but you turned up in the rose garden, which looked exceptionally beautiful at night; your heart stopped beating at the speed of light and you felt relaxed in the midst of the rose bushes

there was an exquisite gazebo in front of a moonlit-sparkling lake so you sat there and thought about how you got to this place

how you left the place you called home to get back in touch with your father

how your father was the leader of vampires; which meant you were half-vampire, half-human

how your were suppose to marry one of the vampire heirs to stay protected from the other creatures who want your powers

it was a lot to take in

you walked closer to the lake to look at your reflection; looking at the glowing red eyes you were always made fun of for, wondering where you got them from

sure they weren’t as bright as the other vampires but they were still red

you were lost in thought; unable to detect the large man-eating koifish swimming up towards you

by the time you realized there were another pair of eyes staring back at you from under the water, it would be too late to jump back to safety

you felt a fast gust of wind as someone got in front of you

they placed their hand into the fish’s mouth and pushed it down; causing the lake’s water to form into tsunami-like waves away from the person in front of you

the fish shriveled up and turned to ashes that blew away with the night’s cool breeze

everything happened so fast; your knees finally gave out from shock and you sat onto grass that thrived next to the lake

“miss. Y/N...” the person called out

because of the moonlight, all you could make out was a man with a muscular build and a pair of glowing dark red eyes

he reached out for you but you flinched

this man had incredible strength and was scared that if he touched you, you would become like the fish

he was hurt by your action but took his hand back, “there are dangerous creatures lurking in the waters.. please be careful.. miss Y/N..”

you couldn’t help but feel bad, he saved you but you can’t even bring yourself to even thank him

“um thank you!” you finally had the courage to get up to talk to him

that was when the moonlight hit his face and not his back, you could finally see his face

he had his own charming looks; despite of his physically and powers, he was pretty baby-faced and when he smiled back at you, you felt your heart skip a beat

“you’re welcome, miss Y/N.. my name is Jongho.. welcome to the Aurora estate..”

he walked alongside with you back into the castle but never said a word

sure, it was quiet.. but it wasn’t awkward

...

will you choose his story to find out more about him?

or will you continue the story to choose later?

[ masterlist + guidelines ]

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red-jaebyrd · 4 years ago

Text

Best of you

Part one - Fight or Flight

This sequel fic was inspired by this post by @hood-ex. Thanks for the inspiration, Emily.

It had been a week since Dick, Damian and Jason had gotten back from the Fortress of Solitude. Fourteen days since Bruce had shipped them off to the Fortress to recover from their injuries. Fifteen days since Bane had beat up each of them within an inch of their life and hung them by their necks in the Cave.

Once the boys had made it to the Manor and into their own familiar surroundings they had remained in each other’s sights. Neither of them ever leaving the other alone, they were completely attentive to one another. No one had questioned it or commented on it. Even if they had, Dick didn’t care. Both of his brothers needed him and he was going to be there for them in any way he was capable.

Jason had moved back into the Manor temporarily. He told Dick it was just until Damian started to feel safe again. But Dick knew Jason needed to be around them too.

Dick knew it was just an excuse to stay in close proximity to them. He didn’t call Jason out on it, because truthfully, he liked having Jason around. He liked knowing that Jason was close and safe with them, instead of somewhere outside Gotham in a safehouse alone.

Dick’s concern for Damian increased within their first week back at the Manor. Damian had always practiced hypervigilance when it came to his surroundings whether he was on patrol or in the Manor. It had been part of his training with the League and in turn had become a part of his personality. But ever since the incident with Bane and the hanging, Damian’s hypervigilance had morphed into paranoia. He always insisted on triple checking every room he entered and was jumpy to the touch.

After the first week back Dick and Jason had eased his burden by taking on the first and third room checks. This helped some, but Damian still flinched with every hand on his shoulder or back.

The three of them weren’t on patrol duty yet as Bruce had benched them for three weeks to heal from their injuries. Dick played Cruise Director by organizing activities for both himself and Damian leaving room for Jason to tag along, which he often did. Dick made sure to schedule in exercise to keep their muscles conditioned and downtime either in the library or the media room.

Lately much of their evenings were spent together in the media room watching a movie. On movie nights Dick and Damian always sat together on the couch in the center. Alfred the cat and Ace the dog would always follow them into the room to provide their own brand of comfort. Jason preferred to sit in the back of the room where he could keep a close watch on his brothers and the closest exit. He had even brought in a small table to use as a gun cleaning station.

On movie nights Damian had always fallen asleep first. It wasn’t surprising considering the dark circles under his eyes and his quiet demeanor. The teen hadn’t been getting much sleep at night since they had gotten back from the Fortress. On their first night back Dick had been ripped out of a deep sleep to the sounds of screaming and crying coming from Damian’s room. Adrenaline had torn through Dick’s chest as he frantically rushed to reach his little brother’s room.

The sight of his little brother clawing at this neck and gasping for air had ripped Dick’s heart apart. It had been a sight he had hoped he would never have to see again. Instinctually Dick had climbed into the bed and held Damian close to him whispering reassurances into the young teen’s ear. Damian’s whole body trembled as he clung to Dick like a life line until his sobs turned into hiccups. Dick had finally allowed the adrenaline crash to overtake his body forcing him to curl up in the bed with Damian and fall back to sleep.

After that night Dick had suggested that Damian sleep in his room. He had expected Damian to put up a fight; argue staunchly that he wasn’t a child who needed the comfort of an adult after a bad dream; that he was more than capable of taking care of himself. However, to Dick’s surprise, Damian hadn’t the energy to argue. Instead, had just nodded, grabbed his duvet off his bed and followed Dick into his bedroom.

They didn’t tell Bruce or Alfred about the nightmares. Damian had made them promise. But Dick knew that Bruce could hear the screaming too.

Dick knew that if there was ever going to be any healing from this incident, especially with Damian, they all needed to talk about what had happened to them. Of course that was easier said than done. Dick knew better than to think that the other two would go for it. Jason would stop coming around to avoid sharing his feelings and Damian would shut down and refuse to talk. Ideally Dick would need to be the one to initiate the conversation to get them to open up.

Truthfully, deep down Dick didn’t want to talk about what had happened to him either, but he knew he had to for Damian’s sake. The boy was spiraling quickly before his eyes, turning into someone Dick didn’t recognize and it was starting to scare him. Dick had to do something even if it involved dredging up old memories of a time in his life he would like to stay buried and forget.

Except Dick couldn’t forget what had happened because now he had fresh rope burns to accompany the old scars from the last time a rope was fastened around his neck. Thanks to Bane those old memories that had once been buried were now fresh and new every time he closed his eyes to go to sleep. Old triggers Dick once had under control were now at the forefront of his mind eliminating any progress he had made in the last three years to overcome them.

Dick had just started wearing scarves again this past winter. He had missed the warm, familiar feeling of the handmade scarf Barbara had made for him all those years ago. The way the soft fabric would protect his neck from the cold onslaught of an unforgiving Gotham windchill. He loved that scarf and it was a welcome relief to be able to start wearing it again, but now that had all changed. Right now he could barely tolerate wearing a crew neck t-shirt.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, Bane had one of his goons cover Dick’s nose and mouth while Bane had hung Damian first and then beat the shit out of Jason. He had made Dick watch helplessly as his brothers suffered while leaving him to slowly suffocate. Dick had started to panic when he couldn’t breathe and clawed at the meaty hand covering his nose and mouth, but the bastard had held firm. Dick’s lungs burned as he gradually lost consciousness just as Bane had strung up Jason.

No, Dick didn’t want to talk about any of this stuff with Damian and Jason. However, he knew he had to if he was going to help his brothers heal. This was another reason why he encouraged movie nights, and hoped maybe one of these nights Damian would open up.

It had been a week and Damian had barely said anything more than two word sentences to either Dick or Jason. Bruce had tried futilely to get Damian to open up to him, but soon handed the reins of communication back over to Dick. The irony of Bruce trying to get Damian to open up wasn’t lost on Dick. The more Bruce pushed Damian to talk, the more Damian shut down further frustrating Dick.

Dick was positive that on one of their movie nights Damian would eventually open up. He wasn’t rushing it, but Dick had hoped that Damian would start to feel relaxed and comfortable enough to talk; and to Dick’s surprise it had worked.

“I never did have the tolerance to withstand the chokeholds from my trainers,” Damian muttered completely out of the blue one night. He kept his eyes on the TV screen and his hands stroking the sleeping cat on his lap.

“You’re not…” Dick cleared his throat, nearly choking on his soda. “…you’re not supposed to have a tolerance to strangulation, Dami.”

“I am. It was part of my training and the only skill I couldn’t perfect,” Damian continued, pulling at the collar of this shirt. “One time Mother had a trainer hang me with a rope. It was so tight it dug into my neck and I panicked like I always did when something was round my neck,” Damian choked out a sob at the last word. “I asked her to call it off, to make him stop but she ignored me. I eventually blacked out. I woke up in my chambers with rope burns around my neck and a migraine. She said I was a failure; that tears and whinging was a sign of weakness; and therefore a disgrace to the Al Ghul legacy.”

Dick put his arm around Damian. He could sense where this conversation was going; that there was some unresolved guilt for actions Damian was incapable of stopping that horrible night. The boy turned into the embrace leaning into Dick’s chest.

“You are not a failure, Lil’ D. There is nothing you could’ve done to have stopped what had happened to us.”

“I was trained to be the best, Richard,” Damian insisted, gripping Dick’s shirt. “I can fight blindfolded. I can manipulate my organs to avoid major injury, I can even hold my breath for six minutes, but I could never stand to have anything around my neck obstructing my airway. I was not good enough.”

“You are the best at everything you do, Dames,” Dick comforted, kissing the top of Damian’s head. “Your mother’s standards don’t matter here.”

They watched more of the movie in silence. All that could be heard was Damian sniffling and the occasional thud of Jason cleaning his guns.

“I used to get nightmares about it. Feeling the rope tightening around my neck and not being able to breathe,” Damian confessed, tugging at the collar of his shirt again. “Now the nightmares are back and I cannot get them to stop.”

Dick’s whole body tensed at hearing Damian recall the feeling of the rope around his neck. His palms started to get clammy as he remembered Super Woman’s barbed lasso tightening around his own neck as he struggled to breathe and stay conscious. Dick still had the scars from the barbs sinking into his skin. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Now was likely a good time as any to share what had happened to him.

“Me too, kiddo. I get it, but talking about what happened helps. For me that…that wasn’t the first time I had rope tied around my neck either,” Dick shared, rubbing his hands nervously along his thighs. “There was an incident with the Crime Syndicate a few years back. Super Woman, an evil, twisted version of Wonder Woman had a lasso; she called it the ‘The Lasso of Submission’. It stung and burned when she tightened it around my neck.”

Ace climbed up on the couch next to Dick. Sensing Dick’s distress, he put his head in Dick’s lap. Dick welcomed the added weight of the dog and dug his hands into Ace’s fur. The sensation helped to ground Dick so he could continue.

“It wasn’t an ordinary lasso. It not only had the power to make its subject submit to the wielder’s will it also had magical barbs that sunk into skin and held the lasso in place,” Dick pulled down his shirt collar to reveal old white faded scars that peppered along his neck among the healing rope burns from two weeks ago.

Damian’s eyes widened at the sight of Dick’s neck.

“I couldn’t wear scarves for three years and I still can’t wear turtlenecks,” Dick confessed, righting his shirt collar.

“Turtlenecks make you look like a douche…no offense,” Jason chimed in from behind them.

“Thank you for the fashion tip, Jason,” Dick sighed, craning his neck to address Jason.

“Anytime, Dickie,” Jason replied, not taking his eyes off the task of cleaning his guns.

Dick turned his attention back onto Damian.

“Thank you for talking to me about what has been bothering you,” Dick whispered, squeezing Damian into a sideways hug. “I know it wasn’t easy, but talking it out helps to get the bad stuff out of our heads.”

Damian shook his head.

“Talking about my past with the League serves no purpose other than to showcase my weakness and my inability to maintain control over my emotions. Complaining about past events that I cannot change feels futile and pathetic,” Damian said, his voice cracking at the last word. “However, lately those past experiences are all I can think about since the incident with Bane in the Cave.”

“Talking about difficult experiences and working through the trauma caused by those experiences is not a sign of weakness, Dames,” Dick comforted, keeping his arm around Damian and leaning his cheek on top of Damian’s head. “It takes a lot of strength to admit that you need help and the support of your family to help you through this time. I’m always here to listen and help you in any way I can. Okay?”

“Okay,” Damian replied, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

Silence fell between the brothers again while the rest of the movie played on. It had surprised Dick that Damian would bring up something so personal about himself in front of Jason. Still Dick was proud of Damian for opening up. It had only seemed fair that Dick reciprocated with his own fears and nightmares. Perhaps it would help encourage Damian to open up more with him in the future.

“Is the kid asleep?” Jason asked, making his way to the couch.

Dick looked over and could see the slow rhythmic motion of Damian’s chest rise and fall as his breaths came in deep and even. He could also hear the soft sounds of snoring and feel Damian’s body completely boneless leaning against him.

“Yes,” Dick answered, feeling the shift of the couch as Jason sat down next to him and Ace.

“It’s good that the kid has you to talk to about this,” Jason said, gently petting Ace’s head. “Lord knows he’s not going to talk about this shit with Bruce.”

“You have me too, Jason,” Dick assured, nudging his elbow against Jason’s ribs.

“I know, Dickie,” Jason answered, grabbing the Blu-ray remote and thumbing through the main menu.

“Do you want to talk?” Dick asked.

“No,” Jason answered, keeping his eyes focused on the TV.

Dick nodded. Jason would open up when he felt like it. At least Dick hoped Jason would one day talk to him about the hanging and how it was affecting him. Dick wondered if that was why Jason had asked if Damian was asleep.

“Did – did the League train you –,“ Dick asked, motioning to his throat. “-for that too?”

Jason looked at him with blank eyes but Dick could see the muscles working in Jason’s jaw. Jason turned his attention back to TV as he continued to fiddle around with the main menu options until he found the ‘Special Features’ menu.

“No, but Willis always liked going for the neck,” Jason responded candidly.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry, you didn’t do it,” Jason retorted.

“No, but, I’m still sorry that happened to you,” Dick empathized.

Jason kept his focus on the TV and swallowed thickly.

“I was supposed to wake him up so he could leave in time for a job. ‘7’clock sharp you little shit, or we don’t eat for a week,’” Jason’s lip curled in disgust retelling his story. “He was out cold and wouldn’t wake up. I had to get on top of him and shake him. He woke up in a rage and I wasn’t fast enough to get out of his way. He grabbed me by the neck and squeezed hard until I saw spots.”

Jason paused to pick at a loose thread on the arm of the couch. He cleared his throat before continuing. “I remember clawing and scratching at his hand to get him to let go. It only pissed him off and made him squeeze harder. He finally let go when Mom hit him over the head with a frying pan. Never woke him up after that day, but it didn’t matter. He always went for my neck.”

Dick didn’t know what to say to Jason, which was rare considering Dick always knew what to say to everyone. He knew Jason’s dad was an abusive drunk. Jason never talked about his time with his parents before coming to the Manor only vague stories of his experience living on the streets. This was the first time Jason had ever opened up about his dad. It was probably better to just state the obvious since empathizing only pissed Jason off.

“Your dad was an asshole for doing that to you,” Dick said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah well, others have done much worse,” Jason said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Dick didn’t need to be reminded. He lived with the guilt every day that he wasn’t there to protect Jason from the “much worse” and the guilt only grew in intensity as he glanced at the angry red rope burns on Jason’s neck.

“I’m so sorry,” Dick mumbled, his bottom lip trembling.

“Why do you keep apologizing? It’s fucking annoying. You didn’t do anything,” Jason snapped.

“Exactly, I didn’t do a fucking thing the whole time that asshole beat the shit out of you and Damian,” Dick blurted, glancing at Damian’s sleeping form. The sleeping boy stirred and shifted his position away from Dick to lean against the couch arm. Dick lightly carded his fingers through Damian’s hair.

“I didn’t do anything but watch as he strung up both of you in the Cave by your necks,” Dick continued, swallowing the lump forming in his throat. Ace whined and put his head back in Dick’s lap.

Jason turned sideways on the couch so he was facing Dick and gently placed a hand on Dick’s shoulder. The contact was welcome, but Dick didn’t feel like he deserved it.

“Stop, Dick, is this about Bane? You couldn’t do anything. I don’t – do you think we blame you for what happened?” Jason asked, tilting his head to get Dick to look at him. “This wasn’t your fault. Why are you shouldering this?”

Dick choked out a sob before catching himself. One hand reflexively reaching into Ace’s fur, with the other he scrubbed the wetness from his eyes with his sleeve.

“I couldn’t protect you – again,” Dick muttered, tears streaming down his face. “It’s my job to protect my brothers, all my brothers. I couldn’t do that for you or Dam –“

“- because that Motherfucker had his goons restraining and smothering you,” Jason interrupted. “Bane knew it would fuck you up to have to watch.”

It was true. Bane was a genius when it came to mentally and physically breaking his adversaries. He knew he could destroy Dick just by having him watch Damian and Jason get hurt. And by all accounts Bane achieved his objective. As much as he tried, Dick couldn’t get the images of his brothers’ bruised faces and beaten bodies out of his brain. Not to mention the guilt of being unable to do anything to stop it was eating him alive.

“I know you want to protect us, Dick. I know you wanted to be there for Tim. We all did, but even you have your limits,” Jason continued. “You can’t shield us from everything. Shit happens with this life and this job. We signed up for this. We chose as a team to defy the Bat and go after Bane. How were we to know we’d be walking into an ambush? Fucker’s a menace.”

Dick shook his head and clenched his jaw.

“I know what we signed up for,” Dick countered, pointing at his own neck. “I have all the scars to prove it. But I didn’t sign up to not feel safe in my own home. I didn’t sign up to hear my youngest brother screaming every night from a nightmare, clawing at his neck and gasping for air.”

Or see that my other brother is unable to go to sleep by himself without all the lights on. Dick kept that last statement to himself.

“I didn’t sign up for that,” Dick repeated, shaking his head.

“Yeah,” Jason agreed, leaning his head back on the couch and blowing out a breath.

“I’ve never heard you talk about the Crime Syndicate before,” Jason said, changing the subject. “Was that – was that the first time you told anyone what had happened to you?”

Dick nodded and curled in on himself. It wasn’t a pleasant incident to think about, much less discuss with anyone even if he considered them to be a safe person and Jason was safe. Aside from the trauma of having a barbed lasso around his neck and getting smothered to stop his heart to diffuse a bomb; there was also the shame of falling so easily into their trap and the indignity of having his identity exposed to the world. It was easier to just keep the humiliation and trauma to himself.

“I thought it would help Damian open up and – ,“ Dick answered, petting Ace with both hands. “I probably should have talked about it sooner. But –,”

“- you thought it would be easier to just keep things to yourself,” Jason said, finishing Dick’s sentence. “I get that, but Dick, I know you. You need to talk things out and you didn’t talk about this to anyone? Not even with Alfred?”

“I couldn’t –,” Dick repeated, shaking his head.

“You know you have me right? if –if you ever wanted to talk,” Jason offered.

Dick couldn’t believe what he was hearing from Jason. It must have shown on his face because Jason’s eyebrows shot up to his forehead in surprise.

“What?” Jason asked. “What did I say?”

“Jason, I know you and you hate talking about feelings and stuff,” Dick responded, tilting his head and furrowing his brow.

Jason briefly shifted his attention to the TV pointing the remote and turning it off.

“I hate talking about my feelings,” Jason gestured to himself. “But I know you need to get that shit out or you’ll explode.”

“Thanks,” Dick replied, giving Jason a small smile.

“So, do you want to talk?” Jason asked, reaching for the nearly empty bowl of popcorn sitting on the ottoman.

Dick considered the offer. It meant a lot coming from Jason. Jason didn’t offer himself like that to just anyone. Dick had overheard Jason giving Tim the same offer a few months ago. He wondered if Tim was able to take him up on that offer before – before he died. There was no doubt Dick would one day take Jason up on his offer, but not tonight.

“Rain check?” Dick asked, leaning his head against the couch and rubbing his eyes. “I’m pretty beat.”

Jason nodded. He turned the TV back on and began scrolling through Netflix. Dick closed his eyes and started to let himself drift allowing the pull of sleep to overtake him.

“Just promise me you’ll never keep shit that big to yourself again,” Jason said, breaking the silence.

Dick opened his eyes and sat up; an idea quickly coming to his head that would also benefit Jason.

“I promise, but you have to promise too,” Dick countered, holding out his hand to seal the deal.

Dick could see the wheels turning in Jason’s head. His eyes widened as he realized that Dick had just tricked him into agreeing to do the very thing he hates, talking about his feelings. Jason’s shoulders sagged.

“Fine, we have a deal,” Jason huffed, shaking Dick’s offered hand. “Don’t get any other bright ideas.”

“You know, if we wake Damian we can probably get him in on the deal too,” Dick joked.

“Don’t push it, Big Bird,” Jason said, throwing a handful of popcorn at Dick.

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projectwkm · 4 years ago

Note

Okay, so... I’ve been seeing you posting a lot of stuff about Actor Mark being just misunderstood and actually nice- but, I’m not convinced. (Which is surprising considering I’m usually the one who likes the “villain,,,”) If I may ask, what’s this theory based off of?

This post has been a long time coming, so sorry! I totally didn’t realise I had asks on this blog,, I’m a fool.

So this is less of a theory of mine and more of an expansion on character and what we know! Do I think for a second Actor is going to be redeemed? No, and I hope he’s not, because I love him so much as a villain. Do I think he is redeemable? Absolutely. Everyone is.

Let’s get into why I think that!

1. ‘A Heartbroken Idiot’

This is the nickname our Mark (in this post I’ll call Actor Mark ‘Actor’, and real Mark ‘Mark, just to avoid confusion) gives Actor. In the WKM Explanation Stream, he calls him ‘a heartbroken idiot’ in reference to his plan on poker night. And if we think about what we canonly know to be true, then there is good reason for this:

The Actor, the Colonel and the Mayor were all childhood friends. The Colonel practically grew up in the Manor with the Actor.

The Actor married Celine. Do we know for certain that they loved each other? No. But we can gather that at some point they were happy, for reasons I’ll go into later.

The Colonel slept with Celine behind the Actor’s back while they were married, and also borrowed copious amounts of money from the Actor to do so (?). The last part could be slightly biased or inaccurate considering Abe was on the Actor’s side for the most part, but I don’t see why he has reason to lie.

The Actor found this out, the Colonel and Celine left, and the Actor spiralled. So far he tried to kill him self. He did kill himself — over and over until his desire to die turned into a desire to understand the Manor he lived in and its oddities.

There are a lot of gaps there, in all honesty. A lot of questions unanswered. Did the Actor and Celine really love each other? Did Celine really love the Colonel? Why was the Colonel so willing to go behind the Actor (his close friend, remember)’s back and have an affair with his wife? Why was Celine so willing to leave her husband if she married him in the first place?

But those questions aren’t important right now, because I’m sticking as close to canon as I possibly can. What matters is that the Actor was betrayed by one of his best friends and that his wife left him in an awful way. They hurt him so badly that he tried to kill himself. Now, this isn’t me ignoring the Entity’s part in all this — we’ll get to that later.

But the purpose of Mark calling Actor a ‘heartbroken idiot’ is that it shows his only motive initially was heartbreak. His actions, initially, weren’t the actions of a man who wanted to destroy his friends and loved ones. In fact, by looking at his attempts to die, especially the first ones, we can see that the only person he wanted to destroy initially was himself. He’d been hurt, badly, by people he called “his close and trusted friends (WKM)”. And he wanted an out. He turned aggressive and revenge-twisted was when his very basic autonomy over his own life was denied to him by the Manor not letting him die.

“After Celine and the Colonel left, Mark was left in this super spiral downwards. He was just completely out of it, didn’t know what to do, and he may have at one point tried to kill himself. But it didn’t work.” (Mark, WKM Explanation Stream)

So before the Manor Entity intervened, was he a bad person? No. Most definitely not. How do we know this, apart from what I’ve said above? This brings us on to point 2:

Celine and Damien

The braincells of the WKM gang, truly. Do you really think they’d stay friends with Actor if he was a bad person? Scratch that, do you think Celine would have married him if he was a bad person? Ruling him as an awful evil person from the start completely undermines the intelligence of the other characters who had been ‘fast friends for years’ with Actor.

That’s not to say he’s flawless. He has an abundance of flaws that the Entity brings out in him (see point three), but even before the Entity, his flaws were probably very visible, especially to his friends and wife. Actor was no doubt an egotistical ass, don’t get me wrong, he was no saint, but he also wasn’t evil. If he was, Celine, who could sense the energy of the Manor as soon as she walked in, would have surely refused to marry him.

It’s hinted that they didn’t have the best relationship by Mark in the DAMIEN Explanation Stream, that much is true. Their reasons for marrying could have been anything — from a passionate spur of the moment decision they didn’t properly think about, to a marriage potentially motivated by finance or power — and we don’t know if they were ever truly happy. We don’t know if Celine loved Actor, but it is implied she at least felt something for him, judging by the look of distress on her face in Chapter Three of WKM when it is revealed Actor is dead.

We also don’t know if Actor loved Celine. I’m inclined to say he did, considering his original plan was to steal the Colonel’s body and get back together with Celine, but there’s a fine line between love and obsession. (In my personal opinion, their relationship started off well before the Manor Entity began to shape them, but my personal opinion doesn’t come into it right now.)

But do you really think if he’d been evil or abusive (as I’ve seen some call him) that Celine or Damien would even be upset about his death, nonetheless have stuck by his side for so long? I doubt it. Mark says nowhere that Actor was a bad person to start off with, and goes into detail of what the Manor Entity actually did to him in the Explanation Streams of DAMIEN and WKM, so read below for more notes on that!!

The Manor Entity

Aha.... my least favourite character of all time...

Words cannot describe how much I despise this thing (whatever it is, Mark described it as more of a concept than anything else). Even as I write this, I feel a boiling rage inside me. Nonetheless! I will keep as fair and as unbiased of a take as I can while I analyse Actor’s relationship with the Manor Entity.

So let’s start with its affects BEFORE the Colonel and Celine left. These characters were fucked the moment they lived in that house. The Colonel and the Actor have been affected worst by it due to living in the house as kids; as Mark says, they grew up together in the Manor. So they’ve probably had the worst effects from it. Let’s see what Mark says about the Entity in the Manor!—

“The thing [about the Manor] that causes people to change, and the thing that curses people, it’s this…. Not a thing, but it’s this idea that whispers in your ear, and the worst thing it could possibly do is that it makes you think that the ends justify the means, in whatever situation…. It’s this thing gently over time just whispering.”

An idea. A whisper in your ear, exacerbating worse qualities and constantly suggesting. Something you don’t even know about until it’s too late. It’s not so hard of a leap to make that it could have made the Chef so aggressive (he’s been there the second longest, other than George the Groundskeeper), could have made the Colonel more hot tempered and liable to cause trouble between a husband and wife, could have very easily twisted the Actor to be a worse person.

We’ve already made it clear that the Actor is not without his flaws. On the contrary, he might be the most flawed from the group. Cocky and stubborn and prideful, passionate and a performer, it’s not so hard to see the Entity delighting at being able to plant seeds in his head. Just little suggestions: “maybe you’re better than them” “maybe they’re holding you back” “maybe they’re conspiring against you”. Just little, back-of-your-head thoughts that, over time, would change him into someone worse, something else.

Something that could have potentially driven him away from Celine and driven Celine into the arms of the Colonel.

Am I saying this is definitely what happened? No. As I say, a lot of canon from Before The Poker Night is missing, and left to speculation. But from what we know about the Entity, and what we know about what it does, it’s increasingly likely it’s been manipulating things from behind the scenes for a while even before the Actor takes his own life.

Cut to Celine and the Colonel leaving. Damien is gone too (God knows where, perhaps the Actor just shuts him out too), leaving the Actor alone in the Entity’s puppet strings. Another Mark quote!

Imagine [the Actor]: his wife left him, his friend betrayed him, the [Entity] whispers “that’s not fair, no, that’s not fair”.... “No, you’re right, that’s not fair.....” “Why should they be happy?....” “No, no, of course, no, they shouldn’t be happy.....” “Maybe they don’t deserve to be happy, maybe you should do something about them not being happy, maybe you should set something up to make sure they’ll never be happy again.”

The Entity is a powerful thing. Its powers are subtle, so subtle that the Actor probably didn’t even notice he was being changed in the first place. As Mark said “the more you stay in that House, the more it drives you toward things it wants you to do… and the worst part is it convinces you that you thought of it in the first place.”

The Entity could have been the one to suggest that he keeps killing himself. It could have very well been the one to lead him to his death in the first place. And the worst thing is that the Actor wouldn’t have a clue they weren’t his thoughts. He is a puppet without realising it, an actor for the Entity to direct in whichever way it wants.

It’s a gradual, awful process. And Actor? As the ‘heartbroken idiot’, the man Mark describes as being a ‘pawn’, that had a lot of time alone in the Manor depressed and bitter over being hurt? He didn’t stand a chance against it.

By the time we meet Actor in WKM, it is very unlikely much of the original man remains at all. While he acts cheery and cocky as usual in the beginning, the bitter puppet we see in the Void after we die and the mania-driven ‘hero’ from DAMIEN is most likely all that remains of the original. Mark from the WKM Explanation Stream explained that “every time [Actor] died, he got sent to this [Void], and was able to get a deeper understanding of it”. Doing so pushed him further and further into the embrace of the Entity, until he was nothing more than a pawn. A puppet.

Actors have little to no control over the scene they play out. It’s the director’s job to push them in the direction they want. And the relationship between the Actor and the Entity seems to function as such: even if the Actor himself doesn’t realise that yet.

And finally, my last point:

No characters are good.

Mark gave a very good quote in the DAMIEN Explanation Stream that I rely on when writing Actor, Dark and Wilford — “no one’s truly, fully, 100% evil”. In the same way, no one is truly, fully, 100% good all the time. It’s impossible. And incredibly relevant when it comes to our three Main Boys, who are all so flawed and broken that it’s not even funny.

We’ll start with Wilford first. It’s easy to forget (for me, at least) all the things he’s done wrong because he’s such a goddamn sweetheart. But- and I won’t go into too much detail- here are some of his ‘crimes’: poaching, murder (several times, as the Colonel and as Warfstache), an affair with his best friend’s wife, with multiple other offences written somewhere in the detective’s study / office (I can’t be bothered finding them dhdjdjnej). Arguably, he also has reason for people to point to him being guilty: he broke his best friend’s heart to the point he tried to kill himself. Which.... is not good.

This is not me hating on William or Wilford as a character. Au contraire, I love them both. But it’s very rare that I see anyone admit Will’s fault in this, or Celine’s (without laying it all on them, naturally, but that’s another story). Will/Wilford is a complicated character who now seems to be far more good than bad (or simply just mad) and has atoned for the past, but more often than not, people overlook his crimes and mistakes and flaws.

The same with Dark, though honestly to a lesser extent. As far as we know, there is very little that Dark has done. We don’t know if he’s killed anyone (other than perhaps Actor in HEIST), we don’t know what his true crimes are because his role is still heavily influenced by the Actor’s bias. But Dark still has his faults and flaws. He’s obsessive and clearly incredibly angry and bitter over what happened, trapped somewhat in the past the same way that Wilford is in the present and Actor in the future. Once again, this isn’t me hating Dark (he’s one of my favourite characters dfhjvffhh), but simply pointing out the negative sides to him, rather than ignoring them. It’s to point out that people — and characters — aren’t 100% good or 100% evil (honestly, they’d be less interesting that way). That includes fan favourites.

Actor is probably the worst out of them. He’s delusional, painfully narcissistic, arrogant and a self-righteous asshole. Nobody is denying that. But underneath that, Mark also describes him as a ‘broken thing’: he’s not the man he used to be. Can he be easily seen as evil now, after everything he’s done? Yes. He’s murdered and he’s betrayed, but let’s not forget he too was murdered and betrayed. This doesn’t excuse what he’s done, but rather offers us insight into his thinking — an eye for an eye. In his eyes, the poker night (at the time) was justified. William and Celine and Damien all betrayed and hurt him, so he was going to hurt them.

Things didn’t go according to plan for him, though. I very much doubt murder was in his original plans, but alas, the Entity twisted his plans unrecognisably. (Whether or not he now regrets the poker night and his actions is up for speculation, and for another post sghcdgb.)

If it is Actor in HEIST and DATE (which I’m very inclined to say it is), it’s clear to me he’s changed: even slightly. Sacrificing himself over and over for Y/N, wooing them with dates and flashy heists, planning everything perfectly for them and giving them the choice on their adventures: now, this could just be me, but that sounds rather far from an evil man. Instead, it sounds to me like Actor knows he’s done bad things, but instead of trying to confront them, he simply runs away from them; he escapes from the reality he’s created by delving into fictional fantasies of adventure where he can finally be the hero.

And that’s not action of a man who is entirely evil. That’s action of a desperate man. A coward, perhaps, but not wholly bad or awful. “A pawn in all this”, as Mark describes him, unable to come to terms with the atrocity of the poker night and what he’s done to his old friends.

To Conclude My Answer!

Actor Mark is my favourite character of all time and has turned into a special interest of mine, but I hope he’s not redeemed. That being said, he is not an ‘evil’ character, and could certainly be redeemed if he ever fully escaped the Entity’s control and owned up to stone for the past (though being redeemed would almost certainly break him — another post for another time).

Everyone’s interpretations of Actorare valid, but I also think it’s important when writing him as close to canon as possible to remember some of Mark’s comments on him, and also to remember his past and how he’s been manipulated by the Entity into something different entirely. While doing so doesn’t excuse his behaviour or awful actions, it offers insight and a way to understand why he’s done certain things!

Ultimately, it’s up to Mark himself to canonise or develop the story and character arcs, which he has done so much already. I cannot WAIT to see where Actor and everybody’s stories end up going, and big preesh to him for making such a heartbreaking wonderful story!!!

If anyone would like to hear me rant more about Actor or the story of WKM and it’s sequels, leave a question or ask and I’ll certainly do it!!

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judyhopps934-mt-zd · 4 years ago

Text

Thoughts on Miraculous New York: United Heroez

Warning: Spoilers! I am back! Also, this is my 700th post, so yay!

The new intro is so cool! I stan! Will it be the same for the Miraculous World Specials (ie. Shanghai)??

Mr. Pigeon? Akumatized for the 51st tims?!?!?!?! I thought he moved on from pigeons and went with rats?!?! (Timetagger anyone????)

The Spacesuits! So cool! (By the way, its the purple potion).

Ladybug and Chat Noir are very autonomous, trust connected from their bond, and super efficient! (You will see where this comes into play later on.) Ladybug could have not gotten a better partner than Chat and she says this herself.

The rose scene after defeating Mr. Pigeon! I loved it so much and its better than expected!

Oh Marinette, didn't you say you have moved on from Adrien? I think her heart has yet to catch up with her brain, which takes time. Time will tell...

Tikki is visibly annoyed with Marinette saying she will move on and yet act like she still has a crush on Adrien. First of all, that is the fandom's mood. Second of all, be patient. Time will tell...

The sock puppet film was adorable. And apparently famous in NY amongst the Queens students (thank you Zag for including another NYC borough!)

Miss Bustier is pregnant?!?!? Wait...IS SHE IS MARRIED?!?!?!? Whether she is married or is seeing someone, this is still shocking (unless her prefix in the French version is Mrs.)

Poor Mrs. Mendeleiev. The class was less than satisfied with her being their chaperone. I know she is not the fun teacher, but she still has feelings and I know she is a nice person. People tend to judge and despise teachers based on them being fun or not, which is unfair. But karma comes after the class since throughout the trip, she becomes the teacher they think she is. What? She could have been fun.

Lila was not welcome in New York to begin with. At least she won't be causing any problems on the trip (though I wish she went to Antarctica).

Marinette has done more for Adrien in this episode than in all three seasons when she promised him that she will find a way to convince Gabriel to go to New York. I guess her deciding that he is "just a friend" has allowed her to do more for him than beforehand.

But she still collects pictures of him, so we will keep quotations on "friend". Or we need to give her a break (Alya I am looking at you). We'll see as we go on.

I am happy Nathalie is alive, though I am not happy with the fact that she showed Gabriel the Eagle Talon Miraculous. And he plans to go to New York. And that this is the only reason he lets Adrien go to NY.

Speaking of which, the Miracu-class showed up to his place, with Marinette being the spokesperson to yell at Gabriel Agreste's freaking face. Good for you Marinette for fighting against Gabriel. Though you did not have to put up a long fight, which while shocking, is also worrisome.

Adrien was understandably sad to not be able to go to NY. Kagami seems happy about it though. Maybe too happy...

Yes, I know that Kagami and Adrien are potentially dating (Battle of the Miraculous ending anyone? *sobs in Adrienette stan*), but it still pains my Adrienette stan heart though when she kissed him.

Of course Chat Noir will be sad to see Ladybug go. But she brings this cute cat buzzer and seeing him play with the buzzer was adorable. Ladynoir anyone?

Adrien is stuck with this dilemma: NY or Ladybug? Poor sunshine boy was shocked to hear this news. He initially chose Ladybug and wanted to stay and alert Ladybug about the new situation, but Plagg was like "FREEDOM! GO AFTER IT! BESIDES, YOU CAN USE YOUR SPACESUIT TO RETURN TO PARIS IN THE EVENT OF AN AKUMA!" Seemed like a good plan...initially. (Plagg, I am after you...sorta).

Of course Marinette will miss the bus, but Luka?!?! They either trying to remind me of Miracle Queen or Luka is superhuman for being able to show up to her place and peddle so fast that they caught up with the bus. Pains my Adrienette heart once again to see her kiss him, but he does have a point about her needing some clarity in NY.

Then we have the plane scene. Poor Marinette was panicking over sitting next to Adrien (really now universe?!). There was more to the scene: from the AC trouble to the seat reclining at the wrong time to Adrien placing the luggage in the compartment (not in that order exactly). It was somewhat cringeworthy then seeing that Marinette went to swap seats with Mrs. Mendeleive (though she only did it when Alix whined).

Note to self: DO NOT SIT NEXT TO MR. DAMOCLES IN AN EIGHT HOUR FLIGHT. He is not very conscious about personal space as he took over Marinette's seat when he was asleep and woke Marinette up. And sleeping with a bucket of popcorn? Really?

If anyone has ever been on a plane, turbulence is common, and Marinette's experience with the Bathroom is very relatable. That's why I only go in an emergency.

Adrienette watching a sunrise! (Or sunset? They are not too clear on this, especially since they arrive at the hotel at night, but everyone was asleep on the plane). And get this: Adrien complimenting Marinette and hugging her tightly! (Just a friend now, huh sunshine boy?)

Alya and Nino are a mood when they say that they love their friends, but they wish that they could express their love to each other (Operation: New York).

Alya, did you really have to tell Marinette that NY is the city of love? Thank you for making her feel even nervous.

TechnoPirate and the United Heroez everyone! (By the way, Alya needs a chill pill because she was WAY too excited to be rescued by the United Heroez. And the Owl Mr. Damocles? Really?!)

Note to everyone who does not live in NYC: no, there is not a superhero for every job.

Ladybug and Chat Noir are exceptional superheroes, but Marinette and Adrien cannot open or walk through automatic doors, which is funny and kind of sad. Peoples, your saviors of Paris.

Sabrina has her own story peoples! She is given her own love interest from Astoria! I love them! And how he invited her to the rooftop party.

Alya, do you really have to tease her and Marinette at once. "Maybe you will make a "friend""

Aeon, I agree: Marinette and Adrien are made for each other. But you sound like Master Fu in Stoneheart. Are you secretly Master Fu???

The feeling is mutual Chloé. Marinette and Alya do not want to be your roommate as much as you don't want them to be yours. And I know you do not want to be there in the first place (my city is beautiful btw).But I am happy you did not rat them out for going to the rooftop party.

When they hid from Mrs. Mendeleive, Marinette and Adrien ended up in Jess(Sparrow) and Aeon(Uncanny Valley)'s room.

Magic hotdogs!

Remember the Hotdog Scene I posted over a week ago? That really was Adrienette and it was better than before, with them floating up and dancing to the song from Despair Bear! Yes! Best scene so far!

Doorman! I want him to be my college professor!

Okay, I know I am desperate to see Marinette and Adrien get together, but really Alya, Nino, Jess, and Aeon? Put them in DANGER?!?!? I cannot.

So Marinette and Adrien are put in danger and actual danger. Danger: Jess and Aeon simulating a dangerous situation. Actual Danger: Hawkmoth in New York having akumatized TechnoPirate and make him break into the museum to get the Eagle Talon. Oof.

Then where my Ladynoir heart wears off: Ladybug and Chat Noir seeing each other in NYC to save their civilian selves. They have seen Paris being destroyed by a sentimonster, with Chat supposed to be there and call Ladybug.

Uncanny Valley and Sparrow see Ladybug and Chat Noir in action and decide to be like them because they do not have that same freedom. Look, I feel them, but I still think they should have called for the United Heroez. Plus, cool transformations!

Remember the whole thing about "autonomous, trust formed by their bond, and super-efficiency"? Yeah, that was Sparrow saying that. But Ladybug and Chat Noir are now currently lacking the last two because of the whole "Chat you are supposed to be in Paris" ordeal. Well, you are generally right Sparrow, but now they have their own issues.

Of course, the new lack of trust (and Ladybug making her anger verbal) has affected their ability to fight TechnoPirate inefficient. So much Chat cannot defend himself and while trying to free himself...

HE CATACLYSMED UNCANNY VALLEY!!! This took a dark turn as this is the first time he cataclysmed a "person" (though she is an android, but still a person by standards. I mean Majestia was understandably very upset and I get it).

Majestia punching TechnoPirate into multiple NY buildings: woah.

Ladybug manages to fix everything, but two problems arise:

1. Knightowl wanted to take away their Miraculous and reveal their secret identities. They are now somewhat fugitives in their eyes for almost killing Uncanny Valley.

2. We see the limitations of Miraculous Ladybug. While Ladybug repaired NY, she was unable to repair Paris and the damage caused by the Robostus sentimonster. Which not only indicates that the Miraculous Ladybug cure only repairs the damage created by a specific villan, but that they have to be present. Here, there were too late.

Here is where my Ladynoir heart shatters: 1. Marinette sobs over how she was unable to repair Paris and felt horrible about how she failed them, and 2. Adrien renounced Plagg because of what happened to Uncanny Valley AND for disappointing Ladybug. Then, he runs off and Marinette sobs over losing Chat Noir. It was very sad that I wanted to cry.

I know this part is still very sad, but can I say that Tikki and Plagg are cute together in Marinette's purse? Poor timing? Moving on.

Aeon and Jess are disciplined by Majestia and Knightowl for disobeying their orders and for straying from their mission: protect the French class.

Are Majestia and Knightowl together in their civilian life? And Aeon and Jess are sisters?!?! I stan.

Here's the thing: I like how the special stayed true to this part of the Miraculous Comics. There, we find that Knightowl is a woman (which you can find out from this scene or at the end). And i just stan her relationship with Majestia.

Also, how dare the writers forget the Miraculous Comics! Sure, they might be different entities, but still: how dare they let the United Heroez forget about the power of the Miraculous Cure! I know that Chat Noir should be more careful about his cataclysm and Majestia has a right to be upset, but still: they had a deadly plan set in the comics to defeat a villan and called on Ladybug to cure the millions of dollars in damage. But hey, to each their own.

Also, somewhat unrelated, but Julerose appeared in the beginning and I am here for it!

Gabriel kidnapped TechnoPirate and akumatized him again while giving him the Eagle claw jewel to liberate people from their fears or other factors. Oof.

The kwami for the Eagle Miraculous is relatable. We would all wish we had our previous owner and fear about our power going into evil hands, right?

Now back to Adrien and Marinette, my heart breaks to see Adrien having to go back to Paris because Gabriel delcares NY as "too dangerous". YOU ARE THE FREAKING DANGER THOUGH! YOU MADE TECHNOPIRATE DANGEROUS AND RELEASED HIM FROM DANGER!

Marinette decides to go after him, but falls over from the bike she borrowed due to the rainwater as she begs him to stay.

And peoples, the moment we waited for three seasons (sorta): Marinette finally utters the words "I love you" when referring to Adrien. Too bad he got too far for him to hear her.

Also, who was going to get her off the road when she broke down? Is that her form of closure?

The United Heroez are now under the Liberty Eagle Miraculous' influence, which made them go haywire. Huh. So Jess and Aeon now have to save them with the help of the French Superheroes!

So Aeon was able to uncover that TechnoPirate is akumatized and using a Miraculous through her scanners. I stan her!

Also, she was able to recognize Marinette is Ladybug and Adrien is Chat Noir. And we have a reason to explain why everyone is blind: there is a quantum mechanism in the suits that makes them unrecognizable when compared to their civilian form in the eyes of humans. She can only figure out their identities since she is an AI android. So our theory about everyone having a reason to be blind is correct AND we can cut everyone else some slack. Please.

Marinette confessed that she needs Chat Noir. This was what we wanted to hear after all that has happened: what she said in the beginning, but now in the most genuine form. I have no words other than that this is heartwarming and heartbreaking.

Adrien was worried over Ladybug's disappointment, but Uncanny Valley is amazing in the sense that she recorded Marinette's genuine words, which inspired him to come back.

Plagg, you literally make light of everything. He literally made faces in front of Uncanny Valley because she can't see him. I can't.

Ladybug and Chat Noir's reunion healed and broke me. It was so emotional as Ladybug expresses how worried she was and how she missed him and Chat explaining while admitting his mistakes.

Time to take down TechnoPirate while using Doorman's powers to take the Eagle Talon and freeing everyone. The fight scenes are epic per usual, this one especially.

TechnoPirate counting down the time was alarming, but also funny as he makes light of it.

Hawkmoth, you would have been to blame for the World War III because of your ultimatum, not Ladybug and Chat Noir.

They missed the countdown, but Majestia stops the rocket and sends it to the sun. What the hell?! What if the sun exploded?!?!?!?! (I dunno? It was an atomic bomb for starters?)

So TechnoPirate is defeated and the United Heroez apologize for misjudging our Parisian superheroes and decide to no longer treat their children like kids.

So Paris for the first time in forever needs to undergo actual reconstruction, but Nadja is somewhat forgiving as she mentions that they needed to help the United Heroez and save NYC, where Hawkmoth also was. Hope there are no hard feelings?

Marinette had the idea of having the banner saying hello to Adrien, which he watched on the plane. So nice of Marinette the class to do such a nice thing for him.

Chloé, we might have somewhat forgotten that whole Miracle Queen stunt, but I am glad to see you enjoyed NY even if you will not admit it.

There are more Miraculous around the world. At the end, we need to fear Hawkmoth. Also, there are more Miraculous guardians and I am glad to see Jess convince one of the Guardians to create a new team of next generation superheroes

Overall, the New York special did not disappoint. We got Adrienette and Ladynoir (even if we know that Lukanette and Adrigami are also a potential reality, though good news for the shippers). We also saw the New York superheroes. Though there are some points that really surprised me (ie. The Ladynoir trust fight and Uncanny Valley dying temporarily and Paris being destroyed), I enjoyed watching the special.

I am worried about the Love Square, especially with Marinette though, but that is for another post. To sum up, we know what happens in NY stays in NY, but since the season 4 synopsis mentions Marinette struggling to find time to tell Adrien her feelings, I think that the Love Square is not 100% dead, but I am not too sure. Oh well, let's leave that for tomorrow.

I stayed up for another hour or so, so I will sign off. In the meantime, go ahead and watch it on an Instagram Page or on Disney Channel or wherever you can watch the special because I will tell you this: you will not regret it! (I watched it twice and will watch it again tomorrow!)

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chris-evans-indian-fanfic · 4 years ago

Text

Love

One-Shot

Description: Asexual!Bucky thinks he is broken beyond repair, until you show him that he has been complete all this while.

Warnings: Angst, bad language, mention of sex toys, romance and fluff

@jtargaryen18 organised a writing challenge for reaching 4k followers and of course I have to participate multiple times! 😍 I am sorry this entry is a little late 🙈

My Main Masterlist

A/N: This is the first time I am writing an asexual character. Whatever I have written is based upon my knowledge that I have gathered by reading various articles and posts on asexuality. The reason I am writing this is because I want to have an equal amount of straight and LGBTQ+ stories in my masterlist, so that there's something for everyone to enjoy. Hence, if you are an asexual person or know someone who is, and you realise that anything in my story is incorrectly represented, then please let me know. I will immediately correct it, issue an apology and accept my mistake publicly.

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but Tumblr and AO3, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

…

"I cannot fucking believe this!" Karen shouted, "What are you like gay or something?"

Bucky winced at her venomous words. "You need to leave," he said in a quiet, respectful tone.

"Like hell I am going to leave. I want answers!" she placed her hands on her hips and stomped her foot. "What is it? Am I not sexy enough for you? Are you not attracted by this?!" she gestured towards the skimpy lingerie currently hugging her body.

Bucky met her eyes as he responded, "I do not want to have sex with you."

She huffed, clearly not convinced, "Why not? We have been going out for what, 3 months now? And you still don't want to have sex with me? What is the issue here? Is it-" she paused suddenly, her eyes traveling down his torso to his crotch, "You can't get it up can you?" she sneered.

Bucky shook his head, too exhausted to deal with her, "Karen, it's nothing like that. I just do not want to get physical with you. That's all."

"Oh! Ooooohh!" she bent backwards a bit, "So it was fine to hug me, cuddle with me and hold my hands. But when it comes to sex, you suddenly become a pious celibate saint! What the fuck Bucky?"

Bucky sighed, and handed Karen back her coat, "We are done. Please leave."

She laughed dryly, "Oh abso-fucking-lutely we are done. You know what I think?" she asked while wearing the coat, "I think that you are too old grandpa and that your tiny ass tortured gay dick cannot salute on its own. Because no man in his right mind would deny this," she again pointed to herself. "Super-soldier my ass," she muttered as she left.

The door to his apartment closed with a loud bang, leaving an echo in its wake. Bucky stood still, rooted to his spot. If it were not for the silent tears rolling down his cheeks, anybody could have mistaken him for a statue.

Slowly, he sat on the floor, his gentle sobs rocking his body as he hugged his knees.

Decades of torture by the hands of Hydra had left him crippled, physically, mentally and emotionally. When he had been saved by Steve, he had started to piece his life back together, bit by bit. Things such as books, movies, music became tiny jigsaw pieces that slowly filled the void in his life.

After the final galactic battle with Thanos, Bucky had been officially initiated to the Avengers team, or rather what was left of it. The team soon became an extended family, a family that Bucky was still getting used to. It was especially irksome when Sam and Scott decided to set him up on a date with Karen from Research & Development (R&D), despite his protests.

It wasn't that Bucky didn't desire a relationship. He wanted to be close to someone, experience romance, feel their heartbeat in a close embrace and place light kisses on their forehead.

But he didn't want to have sex.

At first, he thought he might not have met the right woman. So he searched for porn online, which did little to sway his feelings. He put the issue on a backburner, the safety of the people and the urgency of his missions steering the wheel of his life for a while.

But when Sam and Scott proudly announced their grand plans for Bucky's date, he remembered his "issue" again. He looked at Karen closely whenever they went on dates together. She looked perfect. Beautiful hair, soft glowing skin, curves in all the right places, all packed in a graceful, slender body.

Bucky liked being close to her, but he was still not getting aroused. Hence, he stopped her advancements everytime she tried to get physical. Karen tolerated it for a while, before her patience wore out tonight.

As the sun rose in the sky, Bucky was still seated on the floor, his cheeks now stained with tears that had stopped sometime in the night, though a sniff escaped from him every few minutes. He looked at the sunlight pouring in from the window, broken by the window-panes, landing at his feet in two rays with a comforting warmth. It was in that moment that Bucky realised, Hydra had truly broken him.

🏳️‍🌈

"We have various types of dildos available. There's The Classic, Textured, Long and Thin, Short and Thick, Vibrators, Transparent Plexiglass Dildos, Strap-Ons, G-Spot Dildos, Double-Ended, Squirting Dildos and ones that also come with a suction grip. Are you looking for yourself or are you looking for something to enjoy with your partner?" the helpful saleswoman asked you.

You stroked your chin in thought, "It's only for me. I already have a vibrator that I bought about a year back. The G-Spot ones have never really worked for me. I am looking to try something new. What is the suction grip one?"

The attendant handed you the dildo and showed you the suction grip at the end of it, "You can use this to place and stick it on any flat surface you want, whether it's the floor or the wall or the side of your desk. It guarantees a completely hands-free pleasurable experience."

You stuck it on the wall besides the showcase to test the theory. It worked. "Neat! I will take this one," you smiled as the attendant went to fetch a fresh piece.

You paid for your new sex toy and walked back to the Avengers compound with your small white shopping bag in tow.

When you reached your desk, you heard Karen bitching as usual about something to Jessica. At first, you blocked them out like you did almost everyday, but then a name in their conversation caught your attention.

"He's the Winter Soldier alright. He's completely frozen down there," Karen whispered loudly with disgust.

"Even that red sexy lingerie didn't do anything for him?" Jessica gasped dramatically.

"No!"

"That's crazy! That hot-red piece will convert even the most gayest of the guys! And it didn't do anything for him? Wow," Jessica responded.

Karen added, "You know something? I have always thought he was extremely weird. Like, dude, I know you were tortured by Hydra or whatever, but get over it man! It's been years since he was free. He should enjoy life and stop being such a wimp. I am 100% sure he is impotent."

"You know I was digging into him the other night," Jessica said in a hushed whisper, "and I saw a message board online which suggested that his penis has been completely cut by Hydra. This person knows all such secrets about these alleged superheros. You should follow him."

"What is his username?"

"Proud-Flat-Earther-MotherFuckers. Wait, I will send you the link," Jessica offered.

Having heard enough of their nonsense, you made your way towards the HR department. Maybe both Karen and Jessica had forgotten, but talking about the personal lives of Avengers was strictly against the rules and was considered as reason enough to fire employees.

You filed a complaint with the HR and within a few hours, both the women were fired on the spot. You savored the moment with relish, as their faces turned aghast at the realisation that their actions had consequences. You went up to them, watching the pair clean their desks, with unabashed glee.

"You know something Karen?" you asked her, "Just because a man refuses to have sex, it didn't mean that he's a wimp, or gay or an impotent. But if you do choose to think of him that way, then it surely makes you a sexiest and a homophobic person."

Karen looked at you furiously, "You bitch! I lost my job because you went and blabbed in front of the HR!"

You chuckled at her outburst, "Oh my dearest Karen. Yes I did go and rat you out to the HR. But that's not what got the two of you fired."

"Then what did?" Jessica asked as she joined the conversation.

You folded your hands for effect, "Your hateful comments and toxic views cost you your jobs. People like you think that just by using the latest iPhone or following the latest trends, you are a modern, 21st century person. But in reality, it is your open mindset which makes you a member of the modern society. If you would open your mind just as much as you open your legs, trust me, the two of you will be much better off."

You turned to leave, but stopped yourself, "Just a suggestion. Stop using words like gay and impotent as insults. It will help you retain your next job for a longer time." You winked at their speechless faces, and happily returned to your desk.

Your job in R&D was taxing and so, you always found yourself working late. Today was no exception either. As you left your office at around 8pm, you saw Bucky heading towards the elevator which led to his apartment. You always had a soft spot for the brunette super-soldier. For starters, you couldn't even begin to comprehend the tortures he must have endured in his past. And the fact that he was trying to piece his life back together again? It was truly commendable.

He always kept to himself, his eyes downcast and his body language unsure. And after what you had heard today, you felt even more sorry for the guy. Turning towards the cafeteria, you picked up a box of vanilla-strawberry French macarons for him, thanking the heavens above for the free food available at the Avengers compound. You held the white bag with macarons in your left hand, being mindful of not confusing it with the similar white bag in your right which contained your new sex toy.

A few moments later, you found yourself in front of his apartment. You had visited him twice before to adjust his vibranium arm or to sort out a few tweaks, but never before had you visited him so late in the evening.

You knocked, feeling a little hesitant as you did so. He was surprised to find you standing on the opposite of the door, however, he still greeted you courteously nonetheless.

Before you could state your reason for the visit, he said sincerely, "I heard what you did today. Thank you. I really appreciated it."

Now it was your turn to be surprised, "Oh. Ummm. It's okay really Mr Barnes. It was nothing. You don't need to-"

"No. It wasn't just nothing. You could have turned a deaf ear and ignored them. Yet you chose to stand-up for me. Thank you," a small smile laced his face and you melted on the spot.

You had a crush on Bucky. A BIG one. Could anyone blame you? This guy was a hot, sexy mess of an ice-cream sundae that left you hungry for more even on the coldest nights of the year.

You realised you were staring into his steel-blue eyes like a creep, and immediately cleared your throat. "What-what they did was wrong. Karen had no right to demean you for your desires or lack of them. I-," you sighed, "I am sorry for what she said. It was disrespectful and hurtful. So I brought you something that I hope will cheer you up."

You awkwardly raised your right hand, "I got you some vanilla-strawberry macarons from the cafeteria."

Bucky did cheer up a bit at the mention of his favourite food. He eagerly took the bag with a huge smile, "Thank you," he said once again as you shook your head. "Thank you for everything you do to keep us safe Mr Barnes. I must be on my way now. Goodnight," and with that you left, grinning like an idiot.

🏳️‍🌈

You took a bath, ate your dinner and slipped into comfortable pyjamas. Excited to try your new sex toy tonight, you unpacked the bag expecting to see the nondescript box of the dildo. Instead, 5 delicious macarons stared back at you with innocence.

You stumbled backwards in shock, the impact of your action settling like a dull, heavy weight in your stomach. "Oh no no no no," you whispered, horrified.

You immediately rushed to your window and pulled aside the curtain to look at Bucky's building, as if expecting to see him staring daggers at you. One of the privileges of working with the Avengers? You got to stay in a nice apartment within the compound itself. Your residential complex was a little further away from the main building, covered easily by 15 minutes of walking.

Feeling hyper, you frantically searched for a coat and almost ran out of your house. You rushed back in to keep the box in the bag and again, dashed towards the elevator.

Hoping that Bucky would have yet to open the box, you sent a silent prayer to all the gods and goddesses in the skies above, even Thor. Meh, you never know when an ex-Avenger could be of help.

You sprinted towards the other building, a multitude of thoughts clouding your mind- What if he was offended by it? Would he file a complaint against me? It would be sorta ironic if I was fired for this! Shit he would think my apology was false and I am probably mocking him.

You reached his apartment, a panting, huffing mess of a person. You knocked frantically, his door shaking with force at your desperation. However, you jumped as Bucky whispered your name from behind you, "Are you okay? What's going on?" he asked with concern as you turned around to face him.

"Did-did you op-open the bo-ox?" you questioned him while panting like a dog.

He furrowed his brows in response, "No I was planning to open it in a few minutes. Please tell me what's going on. Why do you look so scared?"

You bent over double, your stomach cramping thanks to your impromptu running, "Thi-this is your bag," you held up the package, "That ba-bag is mine."

"Okay," Bucky said slowly, still unsure of your behaviour, "Should I open the door to retrieve your bag?"

You nodded as he stepped aside, "Why are you not wearing any shoes?"

You looked down at your feet at his query, small blades of grass had stuck to your naked feet along with dirt. "I was in a hur-hurry to get to you," you managed to say between your breaths.

Bucky just nodded in response. It was then that you noticed the pack of paper tissues in his hand. He opened the door and stepped inside, beckoning you to follow him. He pointed to the white bag kept on the table while he looked at it with worry. "Will it explode?" he solicited.

"Uhh no," you replied awkwardly.

"Is it dangerous?" curiosity etched on Bucky's face as you swapped the bags.

"No, it's nothing like that," you looked down at your feet, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks with embarrassment.

He narrowed his eyes, "Then what is it?"

"I can't tell you," you quietly admitted, "but here are your macarons. I am really sorry for this. Didn't mean to disturb you from whatever you had planned," you pointed to the box of tissues still in his hand.

Bucky noticed the underlying question in your statement, "I was about to watch a movie. So needed these to clear the mess."

Your eyes went wide at his sincerity. While you had a crush on him, you definitely did not want to know about Bucky's late night masturbation adventures. Shaking your head, you raised your hands and started walking backwards, "I am sorry I disturbed your nightly… activities. I get out of your hair."

"Actually, would you like to join me for the movie?" Bucky asked hopefully, "We have the macarons and you seem like you need to calm your nerves."

You were surprised for the third time that day. Did Bucky just ask you to masturbate with him? Or have sex while eating the macarons? Or did he want to eat them after you guys have had sex? A flurry of questions swirled in your mind as you stared at him with a slightly open mouth.

Bucky interpreted your gaze and stumbled to clarify himself, "As friends! Would you like to watch a movie with me as a friend?"

You slowly nodded your affirmation, "Yeah okay. Which movie are we watching?"

"The Notebook," he revealed with a smile, "It's an extremely emotional movie. Ummm what's the term? Tear-jerker? Uhh yeah, it's a real tear-jerker of a movie."

"Oh so that's why…" you pointed at the tissues. "Yeah," he confirmed, "I tend to cry a lot while watching that movie. And… ummm… I am the kind of person who cries ugly. You know, all tears and snot. So yeah… I need the whole box."

"That's… that's actually sweet," you smiled, "Trust me you are not alone. I start crying as soon as the titles appear on the screen."

He got excited at your confession, "Yes! Exactly! It's because you know what's going to come and you are just mentally preparing yourself."

You chuckled with him in affirmation as he led you further into his apartment.

You freshened up a bit in his washroom, making sure to clean your feet and the residue on your face from the sweat.

Bucky was standing besides your bag when you entered the living room, "Now that we are friends," he intoned, "will you please tell me what's inside of this?"

You sighed, "Mr Barnes-."

"Bucky," he corrected you and you smiled.

"Will you promise me you will not take any offense or be insulted by it? I really did not mean to swap the bags."

"I trust you," Bucky said with assurance.

"It's…it is a sex toy," you mumbled quietly. Any normal human wouldn't have heard you, but Bucky's enhanced hearing caught your words flawlessly.

He took a moment to process your words, and finally, to your amazement, burst out laughing.

You sheepishly smiled at his reaction as your heart felt a little lighter. "That is embarrassing," he agreed with a wide grin.

The two of you settled on the couch as Bucky's chuckles lessened. He kept the box of macarons between you two, but hesitated to begin the movie.

You sensed his curiosity, and clarified, "I haven't been in a relationship in a very long time. It's been… 2 years I guess… since my last breakup." You took a deep breath, "And my job doesn't exactly leave a lot of time on my hands for dating or one-night-stands."

Bucky seemed to consider your words for what felt like a long time. Finally, he asked quietly, "What does it feel like? To… to want another person… sexually?"

You blinked your eyes, thinking you must have misheard him. But then, his gaze met yours, and you knew his question was sincere.

"It feels like…," you raked your mind in search for the appropriate words, "...like your entire body is on fire, and you need the touch of the other person to quench your thirst. Like, just for a few moments, you want to shut your mind, and let your body think for you."

Bucky nodded slowly as you finished, "But what if you feel that in your heart? And not for your body?"

You squint your eyes at his question, "What do you mean Bucky?"

He placed his head in his hands, "I just… I don't feel like that with anyone. I mean, I don't want to have sex. Trust me I have tried everything. Literally everything. Still I don't feel aroused… I am broken, aren't I? Because this is abnormal, right? No matter how hard I try I will never be normal."

Your heart shattered at his words. You had heard about his horrid nightmares, but to think that he was struggling to accept himself, thinking that he was broken, even when he had so much love to give, was depressing. You could not just stand by and watch.

Gently, you placed a hand on his shoulder, "Bucky, look at me." When he didn't comply, you urged him, "Bucky, you are not broken. It is completely normal to not have any sexual desires."

"No it's not," he scoffed.

"Yes it is," you coerced him, "Do you know what is asexuality? It is the complete absence of sexual desires. Many people-"

He interrupted you, "There is no such thing. You are making this up."

"I am not," you replied indignantly, "Research indicates that more than 1% of the American population is asexual. Also, experts believe that more people might be asexuals because they think that they "haven't found the right person yet"," you ended with air quotes.

With no reaction from him, you sighed and got up, "Do yourself a favour. Use the internet and learn about asexuality. It will help put your mind at ease." You left after giving that piece of advice.

Bucky stayed in the same position for a few moments after your departure. He nibbled on a macaron as he considered the movie playing in front of him. Unable to focus, he promptly shut it all and carried the box to his bed. The macarons disappeared into his mouth as he tossed and turned, feeling restless.

There was no way asexuality was a thing. If it was, then how come there were no movies, tv shows or even advertisements on asexuality? That's because it wasn't normal, right? Maybe you had just lied to him to make him feel better? Maybe you took pity on him?

He looked at his phone on the table near the tv set, your final words repeating in his head in a loop. The combination of tiredness and laziness encouraged him to take your advice in the morning.

🏳️‍🌈

You didn't see Bucky for 3 days after your fateful encounter with him. The fact that you still had your job at the Avengers Tower meant that he hadn't filed a complaint yet with the HR. And for that you were grateful. Friday came and you found yourself working late, again. It was around 10pm and you were still in your lab, almost done with the work. That's when you heard the small swoosh of the lab doors opening and closing.

You looked up from your table, and found Bucky staring intently at you with his blue eyes. He cleared his throat and tentatively took a step towards you. "You were right," he said slowly, "I researched online, read a few articles and spoke with the in-house therapist. I am an," he took a deep breath, "an asexual."

You closed your laptop and smiled at his confession, "How are you feeling now?"

"Honestly? A little bit better. I feel somewhat free," he admitted while gripping the white bag in his hand a little bit tighter.

"That's great! I am so proud of the progress you have made," you beamed at him, but sensed his hesitance as you neared him.

"What's wrong?" you gently inquired.

"You are… not… I mean… by any chance… asexual?" he winced at his own question.

You chuckled lightly, "No I am not."

"Ahh, then it's okay," he murmured and turned as if to leave.

You stopped him by placing a hand on his firm bicep, "What's going on?"

He shifted on his feet, visibly uncomfortable and anxious, "I was just… no nevermind it's stupid."

"Bucky," you said his name in a stern voice.

He sighed again, "I thought… I mean I owe you a movie because… of that night… and so… you know… would you like to watch it? The movie? But why would you? You deserve better… you are not an asexual. You are normal. Why would you want to go on a date with me?" he finally ended his mumbling.

You looked at him with squinted eyes, trying to decipher what he had muttered. "Did you just say you would like to go on a date with me? But it was stupid because you are an asexual and I am normal?" you blinked as he nodded.

"Who told you that you are not normal?" you asked him, a little irritated, "Bucky look at me." This time he complied, "You. Are. Normal. As normal as me, as the other Avengers or as anybody else in the world. Do not, for even one goddamn second, think that there's something wrong with you because there isn't. Are you listening to me? Am I clear?" you wagged your forefinger at him.

Amused at your outburst, he nodded with a sheepish grin. Clearing his throat, he asked you again, "Would you like to watch a movie with me tomorrow? As a date?"

You placed your hands on your waist, "Yes."

His grin widened as he asked you the next question, "Still mad at me?"

"Uh-huh."

"Maybe these cupcakes will help," he shyly held up the white bag in front of you, "I made sure they were cupcakes," he added with a smirk.

You graciously accepted the bag, "Cupcakes will always help."

"Great! It's a date then. Tomorrow… at 4pm? My apartment?" Bucky suggested.

You agreed, and he left with a goodbye. As soon as he was out of sight, you opened the box, expecting to see the usual cupcakes inside. Instead, you found that the sweet treats were decorated with cute messages such as "U R Cute" , "Be Mine?" , "So Sweet" and so on. Feeling mushy at his adorable gesture, you bit into the sweet treat as you headed back to your apartment.

The next day, you made sure to wear a purple dress, complete with black, grey and white accessories - the colours of the asexual flag. Bucky beamed at you as he welcomed you into his apartment. He had made a snack mix from popcorn, crispy pretzels, chips and nachos, the perfect accompaniment to any movie according to him, and you couldn't agree more.

The pair of you watched The Notebook in silence, except for a few sobs and sniffs here and there and the straight up bawling during the emotional parts of the movie.

After a while, the film ended but your date continued. The two of you talked about everything, right from the meaningful discussions about the government policies to random questions like "which mythical creature would you be and why?"

Soon, it was time for you to head back to your apartment. Bucky offered to walk you and you happily agreed. But before you left, he asked you nervously, "Would you like to have a second date?"

"I would love to," you beamed, "Which movie should we watch the next time?"

He ran his hand in his somewhat disheveled hair, "Uhh… I actually made a date jar. Wait, I will get it."

He brought over a glass jar, filled with tiny bits of folded paper, "I thought we could have dates that start from each English alphabet. We can pick and choose at random from the jar."

Tears pricked the corner of your eyes again at his thoughtful and romantic gesture. You gingerly picked one note from the jar, excited for the adventure that awaited the two of you.

🏳️‍🌈

It took more than 2 years for the pair of you to finish every date in the date jar, except for one. Whether it was jet-skiing in the ocean, taking classes for flamenco dance, him teaching you self-defense or going on a wildlife safari together, you and Bucky finally got through it all. Only the letter "P" was now left.

In these 2 years, any distance between the two of you had practically vanished. Bucky was comfortable in removing his bionic arm in front of you. Moreover, he had started sharing everything with you. Right from his darkest and disturbing nightmares to a pretty butterfly that he may have seen during his missions, Bucky made it a point to ensure that you were a part of his life, and you had absolutely no complaints.

The two of you had also discussed about your sexual desires, and Bucky had been comfortable with you using your sex toys as and when you wished.

Bucky was the perfect boyfriend anybody could ask for. He was considerate, thoughtful, a hardcore feminist and gave the best foot-rubs in the world. And so you were nervous. Nervous because the two of you had never actually sat down to talk about the nature of your relationship. And as the day of the last date loomed nearer, your anxiety increased. At first, you thought of making a second date jar, but he had quickly dismissed the idea, stating that he would be caught up with multiple things after the last date ended.

As you sat in the car that Bucky had sent for you, your apprehension grew. Bucky always picked you up, however this time, he had asked you to come alone in the car. Maybe he wanted to break up with you?

By the time you reached the park it was pitch black. You were sure Bucky had paid the guards to keep the gates of the park open just for you.

As soon as you entered, you saw the pathway lined with 25 lamp posts, leading you towards a breathtaking archway decorated with fairy lights and your favourite flowers.

On every lamp post, a photograph of the two of you - which were taken on your dates - was stuck along with a note. The notes described how he fell in love with you over and over again on every single date. Your progress was slow, as read each of his meticulously written words with tears in your eyes. You collected all of his notes and the photographs, and finally headed towards the lit archway.

When you entered it, the instrumental notes of the song "All of Me" by John Legend reached your ears.

You walked ahead and reached a bend. Upon crossing it, you were showered with rose petals as the live music grew louder. And at the end of the archway, your boyfriend, James Buchanan Barnes, was standing in a tuxedo, looking as sinfully good as the forbidden fruit. The entire area around him was lit with soft fairy lights that cascaded gracefully between tall lamp posts. Even on the ground, small wooden lamps illuminated the grass across the area. A live band was playing the music and your Bucky was standing with the most gorgeous bouquet of red roses that you had ever seen.

Your vision turned blurry as you started crying, and looking at your tears, he started sobbing as well. "No no no I can't cry now," he managed to say between his sobs while giving you his handkerchief, "I have to do this."

He got down on one knee and took your hand in his. You both laughed as you started crying harder. He took a deep breath and said your name, "These 2 years have been the most magical years of my life. You have accepted me as who I am, what I am, and never once tried to change me or make fun of me for it. I never thought I would be treated with the amount of respect that-" he started crying, unable to finish his sentence.

You sat beside him and handed him your kerchief. "Yes," you said with a tear-stained smile.

"Let me ask you first!" he exclaimed between his sobs.

You laughed and wiped your snot as he cleared his throat, "I love you so much. You are the only one I want to-" he started crying again.

"Yes!" you answered his unsaid question.

"I haven't asked you yet!" he exclaimed again as the two of you giggled between your sobs.

"Okay c'mon Bucky you can do this," he muttered to himself as you beamed at him. "Okay," he looked into your eyes and whispered your name, "Will you do me the honour of marrying me and becoming my wife?"

You choked up at finally hearing the words. Rendered speechless, you could only nod as fresh tears escaped your eyes.

"You have to say yes!" he almost shouted with excitement.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!!" you matched his enthusiasm as he slipped a ring onto your finger. His large arms then engulfed you in a bear hug, wrapping you in a safe and secure space for eternity to come.

Permanent tag: @donutloverxo @notyourtypicalrose @just-one-ordinary-fangirl

Bucky taglist: @loustan90

Taglist open! Just comment, send an ask or message!

#asexual #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes au #james bucky barnes #asexual!bucky barnes #asexual!Bucky #bucky x reader #Bucky barnes x Reader #winter soldier #lgbtqa #JTargaryen18s4K

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kpopisthereasonihavenolife · 5 years ago

Text

Kim Taehyung/Reader [F]

Genre: royal au, magic au, hopelessly romantic, fluff, dashes of angst, taehyung is a brat but in a fun way, y/n is babie, could kinda be considered love at first sight?

Warning(s): toxic royality (the king), brief mentions of isolation/selling of servants, one mean lady who whacks y/n with a dowel rod

Words: 8.2k

Series | One-shot | Two-Shot | Drabble | [Rated: T ]

Summary: You were born with magic. Born by two perfectly normal human parents, you were born in a bright light that others considered cursed. With your father walking out and your mother abandoning you, you were sold to the royal palace in the Lisha Kingdom who had heard of your magic. You were handed over to them not as a person, but as a prisoner. At the age of 5, the king placed you in magic binding items and placed a mask over your mouth, keeping your cursed words of sorcery locked away.

Now, his eldest son who had been living abroad from far off kingdoms to the seven seas- learning and experiencing the world as he knew it- returns to the palace to take his place as the crowned prince and Lisha’s future king. What he can’t seem to wrap his head around, however; is the beautiful servant girl who is always wearing a mask and no matter how much he talks to her, she never talks back.

a/n: so, this is something I started late last year and while at the time, i was super excited to start it, as time passed I let it sit and then when I came back to it, I had no idea what on earth to do with it. So, instead of pressuring myself into something I wouldn’t be happy with, I dusted up the draft I had and I am posting this as an open? unfinished? piece. I have no future intentions of continuing it, even if the ending is so open with room for questions, I simply don’t have the answers. I’m trying to be more fair to myself when it comes to my work and not pressuring myself into writing a story I won’t be happy with. That goes along with not stressing out either. Nonetheless! I hope that what I did get completed was worth the read! ily <3

“I sure hope you are not planning on sneaking off; now are you, Your Highness?” The prince froze mid-step as he was previously attempting to leave his carriage entourage, but got caught by the temporary attendant to make sure he got back to the palace in the process. “We only just entered the capital, what could you possibly be going off to do?”

The platinum-haired prince turned around with an over-dramatic swing and pitiful stomp of his feet on the carriage step. Built with soft yet sturdy muscles from his days traveling and sailing at sea, his tanned skin was the perfect shade to swoon anyone who looked at him. Eyes big and blue in color- a rare trait to have such bright hair and eyes in the royal family.

“I haven’t been home in years!” The prince countered with a pitched fit. “I want to explore before I go to the castle. What’s so wrong with that?”

His attendant only shook his head. “I see your time abroad spoiled you rotten.” The prince inwardly scowled. It did not. “You need to head to the palace and greet your father- the king- immediately. He is no patient man.”

The prince rolled his eyes. He highly doubted his father had changed. Even when he was a small child and still lived with his father in the palace walls, he could remember his strict and blunt father. The stereotype of royalty was upheld to a new level when the focus was put on Lisha’s king. The prince stepped back into the carriage interior before plopping himself across the plush bench. Arms folded behind his head and one of his boot-clad feet kicked up across from him on the opposite bench as he huffed.

“Prince Taehyung! Your attitude is rather uncalled for.”

“Why stand around bickering about it? I thought we had to go see the king immediately?” Taehyung mocked as his leg that hung off the bench bounced against the velvet in some unpatterned rhythm that played the tune of annoyance. The attendant kept his itching argument to himself remembering it wasn't just some bratty kid he was talking to, but the crown prince of Lisha.

He just bowed his head before shutting the carriage door. Soon, Taehyung jostled across his bench when the carriage took off moving forward. The sound of clopping hooves paired with the sound of wheel crunched dirt and stone.

An impatiently sat hour later and Taehyung had been taken into the palace ground, met with his father- as pleasant as that was- for the smallest amount of time used for a visit. Taehyung questioned if it was truly necessary in the first place and then was promptly sent off. Not having nowhere specifically to go to other than his quarters later, he just wandered.

Walking around with dark trousers and a shirt so white and worn it was nearly sheer and obviously two sizes too big as it’s thin fabric puffed as it stayed tucked into his bottoms. The summer was much harsher inland than it was out in the open seas and he can say he had quite the distaste for warm weather.

As he wandered and familiarized himself with his home again, he heard gossip from this way and that. Some about royal unfairness- a fair complaint if Taehyung was honest. Other about pains that began to come with their growing age. And a lot about ‘her’- she never being named. From what he could gather form just passing words of his eavesdropping, someone was employed as a castle servant and not well-liked by her peers. Intrigued, Taehyung finally had a goal in all his aimless walking.

Put his charisma and people skills to work and find the ‘not-very-well-liked’ servant girl.

It was noon by the time Taehyung felt like giving up already. He had spent hours walking around in circles and even talking to a few staff circles but turned up empty-handed to figure out just who this unliked girl was. He stood on the second story of the west wing’s balcony as the summer air was as stagnant as a puddle of warm water. Feeling his sweat roll down his back, he let out a small yelp when something touched the back of his neck.

Jumping back and away to his right, he held his neck and looked to see what touched him. Expecting to see some sort of critter on the ground, he instinctively looked down. Instead of a rodent or bug, he saw a pair of feet. Looking up, he was soon making eye contact with a pair of large- rather pretty- eyes.

His eye shot back down to your feet. Wearing no shoes, but two anklets around each ankle, you were already an odd one to Taehyung. Looking you over, you looked normal, yet not. Dressed in a skirt and corset with a long-sleeved worn maids shirt, it looked like palace work clothing. You wore no gloves as others did and wore a set of two bracelets around your wrists that matched the ones on your ankles. Hair pulled back off your neck completely to try and outwit the heat, Taehyung looked at the mask covering the lower half of your face.

Looking down at your hands, he saw you held a small handkerchief.

“So that’s what touched me!” He exclaimed, letting out a breath of air- relieved it wasn’t a critter after all. Even with all his time out in the open, he still got freaked out at the initial idea of anything creepy-crawly running around on his body. “Sorry for the noise, I hope I didn’t scare you?” He asked, apologizing for how he scampered away from you so suddenly.

You just smiled as your eyes pushed up and shook your head. Taehyung tilted his head a fraction.

“You’re… not a talker are you?” You shook your head again. “What is it? Shy or something?” You shook your head again before you pulled something from a small pouch that was strapped to your side. A small little notepad and a worn, wooden pencil. Scribbling on it with speed to impress the best writer, you were soon holding your notebook in front of Taehyung’s face.

‘I’m not allowed to talk.’

“Not… allowed? Who made that rule up, that’s just ridiculous.” He breathed out.

‘It’s true!’ You wrote as you pointed at it for emphasis as he could see your cheek puff from under your mask.

“But, you can talk, can’t you? Just not allowed to?” You nodded. Taehyung watched as you started scribbling again.

‘I haven’t seen you around here before. Are you visiting the capital?’

“Oh, no- nothing like that.” Taehyung rubbed his neck. “You see, I’m actually-”

“Y/n!” You jumped as you whirled around and saw an older servant at the corner of the balcony- not too far from you and Taehyung. She stomped her way around the corner and to your side, lightly swatting your bare leg with a thin, wooden dowel. “I’m certain you haven’t finished your tasks! You cannot delay, the king expects results and you- cursed child- are hindering them!” You bowed in silent fret before straightening your back.

You turned to Taehyung as quickly as possible, placed your handkerchief in his open hand and pointed to his neck. You fanned yourself as if telling him ‘it’s hot, take care of yourself’ before you rushed off with another thwack of wood to your calf.

Taehyung didn’t even have the chance to get your name- although he heard the servant woman say it. He couldn’t tell you his name, or who he was and here he stood. On the second floor balcony with your white and pink embroidered handkerchief. He wasn’t even able to scold the servant for whacking you with a dowel before she scampered off behind you. It must’ve stung on your skin.

Taehyung was a young man, but as he remembered you writing on your book and how your eyes looked, he chuckled like a child in puppy love. He looked at the handkerchief and folded it neatly before tucking it into the pocket of his trousers. As long as he had that one piece of cloth, he would see you again anyways. He had to return it, he was a gentleman after all.

Xxx

The next morning, Taehyung snuck out of his room before any palace official came to usher him off to his royal princely duties. Walking around in a pair of loose silk trousers and a black button-down of the same fine silk fabric, he padded around in the gardens. The fresh air reminded him of his time outside the palace, he already missed the memories of days prior.

His steps halted when he saw someone crouched by a line of rose beaded shrubs. A pair of shears in their hand as they snipped roses from the bush and placed them into the basket at their side. He smiled when he saw their bare skin and anklets. He walked up behind you before speaking.

“What are you doing out here?” You jumped, shears falling out of your grip and stumbling back onto your rear-end. Looking up and behind your shoulder, you saw Taehyung biting back laughter. Instead of rolling your eyes, he could see them bend into crescents and your cheeks push up under your mask. Lifting the small notepad and pencil at your side up into your lap, you begin scribbling.

Taehyung moved to your side and squatted down at your left. You were soon showing him the notepad.

‘Good morning.’

Taehyung waved cutely at you. “Good morning back. Now, about the shrub?” He pointed to the flowers before you started writing again.

‘I heard the prince came into the castle after a really long time yesterday. I was going to place a basket of flowers as a welcome home for him outside his room. Anonymously of course.’

“Oh? So, you don’t know who the prince is?” You shook your head. “Well!” He perked up. “I’ve heard he’s pretty handsome. Better watch out, cute girls like you could totally be his type.” You just shook your head, denying his little outburst as he just giggled at you. Taehyung hopped closer and picked up your sheers. “So, how do you know which ones to cut?”

You pointed to a bloomed, vibrant rose. You motioned with your hand to find bright, big petaled stems. Following your pointed finger to each bloom he should cut, he snipped roses and placed them into the basket you didn’t yet know was actually for him.

When you finished, you took your shears and the basket and stood. Taehyung offered to walk you back to your room before your royal servant duties began. You allowed him to and you both were on your way. Taehyung did most- all- of the talking. You tried expressing conversation with your hand waves and gestures. Taehyung had a bit too much fun trying to decipher them like a game of charades.

“Hey,” he called when the two of you just walked in silence. “Why can’t you talk?” You looked down and pulled your notepad out.

‘The king hates my voice.’

“Why? You're always barefoot and always wear a mask? Are you sick?”

‘No.’ You started to write, but scribbled something out and wrote something else instead. ‘I don’t think I can tell you.’

“Is it a secret?”

‘Well, no. But, sometimes it’s hard to admit.’

Taehyung nodded and placed his hand on your head. “Sorry I asked. I didn’t mean to upset you.” You only shook your head. “I look forward to seeing your flowers after you’ve arranged them.” You rose your brow before you pointed at your room door, arriving at your room finally.

He let you in and practically danced back to his room. He stopped in his tracks and pressed his fingers to pinch the bridge of his nose realizing he once again neglected to tell you his name.

“Next time!” He shouted to no one, promising himself that next time he wouldn’t forget as he marched back to his room.

Xxx

You entered your room that you shared with another servant girl. She often got along with you and didn’t alienate you as others did. Walking in, she was already dressed and awake. She was quick to ask you where you’ve been as you’re not normally allowed to go anywhere without permission or supervision. Royal orders.

You showed her the basket to her before shoving your note in your face.

‘Do you know some guy with light hair who is allowed to walk around the castle in pajamas?’

“What? Some nut-job in his pajamas?” You nodded, lightly flapping your notepad at her for calling him a nut-job. “You’re making it up in a fit of loneliness. Oh god,” you huffed, throwing your notepad down before moving to sit and place flower after flower from your basket to a glass, aqua vase. “The silent treatment, huh?” She teased. She soon left to start her morning.

You waited. Unable to do anything until the sun began to finally rise. The king refused to let you wander the castle unless it was daytime. You had planned to finish the flowers and hoped your supervisor would allow you to deliver them to the prince’s door before your work started. You sighed, doubting it would happen. You soon dressed in your work clothes, took the small vase and left- deciding to take a trip to the prince’s quarters first then meet your supervisor.

Trotting down the hall, you rushed to place the flowers and then run back to your room to wait for your supervisor, hoping not to be caught. Though, luck didn’t seem to be favorable with you in the grand scheme of things.

“Y/n!” The voice of the old woman that is your superior echoed behind you. You immediately stopped in your tracks, slowly turning around to meet her angry stomps approaching you with a glare that pinned you down. You unconsciously held the vase closer to your chest. “What in the world are you doing? Heading down the royal halls of our royal family. On top of it all, unauthorized!” You shrunk under her scolding.

“What’s going on here?” A voice calmly addressed behind you. Looking back, it was Taehyung behind you. He had changed his clothes since earlier. Black pants with a white long-sleeved shirt and black vest. Hair now parted and brushed. His fingers decorated in rings and ears pierced with small hoops. Black boots covering his feet.

“Ah-” your superior stuttered. “I- your highness!” you whipped your head back to the old woman. “I apologize for the commotion so early! Y/n here was simply disobeying a set of very specific rules and-”

“I am only hearing excuses.” His voice was sharp in contrast to the warm way he spoke to you earlier on. He grabbed your elbow lightly, getting your attention. He smiled at the red peeking out from under your mask. “You were going to give those flowers to the prince, yes?” You slowly nodded. “Well, can I have them?”

You looked at the flower vase and then back up. You turned around in three clumsy, unsure steps before presenting them to Taehyung. He laughed lowly, graciously removing the vase from your grip into his.

“Thank you, Y/n. I, Taehyung of Lisha, truly appreciate it.” You nodded. He called for your ear as he shot your supervisor a look of ‘stay back and hush’. “Come meet me later, I want to talk more is possible. Okay?” He whispered as you nodded again before you were pulled off to finally start work.

Taehyung took the flowers you gave to him inside his room, placing them in the sunlight on the small side table beside his bed. He laughed smittenly as he poked at the flowers' soft petals. At least he was finally able to tell you his name this time.

Xxx

Taehyung had forgotten how suffocating it could be to be inside the palace. It may be grand and large in scale and size, but the constant hovering and directions as to what and what not to do as prince kept him clicking his tongue. He’d find himself muttering prayers of patience to get through just the formalities. He may have been gone for years, but he didn’t forget how to be princely.

He crossed paths with his father a few times in the halls, only stopping to lower his head to him in respect as he just kept on going, his attendant in tow. Taehyung hissed at his father’s back each time- not even granted a nod in return. He wasn’t sure why, but since knowing that his father hated your voice, he grew ten times more annoyed towards him.

In fact, you occupied many of his thoughts of the day. He just met you, yet he seemed undeniably drawn to you for reasons he wasn’t sure of. Was it because you were dressed so differently than the other servants? Or perhaps you had certain guidelines and rules to follow under the king's directions?

He was currently sitting in the private library with his temporary attendant as they droned on about something or another. Taehyung- much to his aides jargon- sat slumped forward, elbow on the small round table he sat at and cheek cupped in his palm. Utterly bored, he finally found a chance to speak among a minuscule break in his attendants lecture.

“What is the story behind the serving maid with the mask?” He voiced finally. The question brought his lecturing aide to silence before they cleared their throat.

“Your Highness, you needn’t worry-”

“I’m expecting a proper answer,” Taehyung fought. “Do not run me in circles. I will just simply ask about her again.” His eyes kept staring off to nowhere, focusing on nothing in particular. His jaw snapping shut each time he spoke as his palm pushed into his chin from slouching. He heard his aide sigh.

“As you wish.” Taehyung almost tutted with a snide smirk with his clear victory over the barely started discussion- but he refrained. ��She was sold to His Majesty as a child.” Taehyung’s heart dropped to his gut, although his face was as calm and unchanging as before. He has had much practice in keeping a bored expression to hide his true emotions from others. “She was sold on the condition the king suppress her abilities because her parents simply did not want a cursed child.”

Taehyung lifted his head to his aide for the first time that afternoon. “Excuse me? Abilities and curses? Are you pulling my leg after I advised you not to?” In actuality, he knew what his attendant was referring to. Magician’s and sorcery.

An exceedingly rare breed of human. He's met only a few before in the past during his travels abroad, but the way this attendant spoke about you was angering him. Pushing him towards a sour mood. Like mentioning your beyond normal abilities would cause some sort of bad karma.

“No, Highness. That servant girl is under constant surveillance and strict restriction as ordered by His Majesty- your father. Every accessory she wears is a restriction.” Taehyung remembers how you explained that the king hated your voice. His brow dipped. His father hated your voice because you had magic? No, that can’t be it. The king must be frightened of your voice- the voice that should be free to recite spells because it was your birthright.

“And that woman’s mask?” Taehyung asked. “What of that?”

“It is a final resort to keep her silent. She cannot use or speak of magic so long as she wears it. That is the royal order. She is not even able to remove it herself, only royal blood may do so.” Taehyung’s brow ticked back up. Only the Royal bloodline can remove it, huh? He bit back a snide smirk.

“Interesting,” he mumbled. The attendant was pleased to finally drop the topic altogether.

The prince continued to partially listen to his ‘catch up’ lessons on palace do’s and don'ts; however, in the grand scheme of things he was always wondering when or if he’d get the chance to run into you again somewhere. He felt guilty for being the son of the man who is keeping you from reaching your true potential as a sorceress. He was the only son of Lisha’s king and you were his caged animal.

The magic users he had spoken to before in his past had always told him the same thing when he asked how magic felt. It felt like the ocean breeze at dawn and that breeze turned into a cold, harsh storm when the magic was gone. Without magic they felt suffocated. The torment of magic repression was enough to bring some to the brink of insanity. However, he wondered how you felt about it inside. Restricted for so long, were you in pain?

Did you even know what magic felt like? Could you remember from your childhood before it was pushed down into the pit of your stomach and smothered?

The moment he had the opportunity to slip away from his forced shadow, he promptly took it with haste. Ducking out and rushing off, he was able to camp out in an alcove before the coast was clear for him to wander again. He walked with a sense of near urgency as he hoped to run into you as he’s done before. Or perhaps meet his father in the halls, that would suffice as well.

Heading down to the royal halls where the royal families rest in their private rooms, Taehyung quickly slipped into the room that used to belong to his mother and former Queen of Lisha.

Just the air in the room and how she had decorated it with vases and painting in the past brought the weight on Taehyung’s chest off. The room had been untouched just as he had wished- a sort of tomb of remembrance in her honor. She had not lived past 40 before illness and improper- obviously botched- treatment took hold of her. Leaving her son behind, he still missed her every morning when he woke to the sun.

He opened the permanently unlocked wardrobe and wooden trunk in the room. Revealing dresses, corsets, hair pieces, accessories, jewels and nightwear with the occasional pair of trousers- however improper for a lady they were. The trunk had shoes that he could vaguely remember dancing on with his mother leading him when he was smaller.

He trifled around before he pulled a pair of open top, black shoes from the trunk that could easily be worn without crafting the ankle- or anything around it. For himself he grabbed a ruby earring that hung from his lobe as soon as he placed it on himself. It bounced off his jawline with each turn of his head. This was his mother’s favorite color- ruby red. He smiled into the mirror that hung on the wardrobe door and hoped his mother would be proud of the man he grew up to be.

Shutting everything back up, he grabbed the flats and left the room. He rushed around and asked any servant or guard he could find if they knew of your whereabouts. He was in the midst of asking yet another when his attention was grabbed from behind.

“Highness, are you searching for Y/n?” He turned at the mention of your name. Not one servant he had spoken to had addressed you by name but this woman who approached him did without wavering. Young and with kind eyes. “Unfortunately, she’s wrapped up in chores until this evening. Her curfew is at sundown, so she won’t have any time for much extra activity.” She explained to him. “However, if you need to pass a message to her, I’d be happy to deliver. She and I share a room in the servants' wing, so it’d be no trouble in the slightest.”

Taehyung’s eyes lit up. At least you weren’t completely isolated from the rest of the castle. You seemed to have a kind enough roommate- at least at surface level. It was always possible this woman with the kind eyes was lying to look good in front of him- the prince who obviously had no ill will towards you.

“Would you? If I find out you haven’t, I’ll be very upset with you.” He lightly teased, only half meaning it the underlined threat of ‘don’t do what I ask and a royal fit is in your future’. She simply nodded. Taehyung lifted the flats into view “I’m tired of seeing her run around shoe-less because the castle won’t provide her proper shoes that don’t encase the ankle. These should help.”

Something in the woman’s eyes shined. Like someone being kind towards you was something so asinine and rare. She gratefully took the shoes from Taehyung’s grasp as she smiled down at them so purely it almost seemed she would weep. She nodded to herself before she looked back to the prince, glee written on her features.

“May I tell her the prince gifted these? Or shall I be anonymous with it?” Her voice perked, almost seemingly excited to deliver your new ‘royal’ shoes.

Taehyung smiled. “Please do tell her it was me. I’d like the credit for the safety of her feet,” he chided. She nodded and before she could run off to put them in their shared room, Taehyung stopped her. “Oh, what was your name? I never caught it.”

She smiled at the prince. “I am Akina, Highness.” Taehyung nodded to her. He wanted to learn as many names and faces as possible of his servants of the castle. Unlike his father, he wanted to appreciate his staff for their work. She scampered off as Taehyung turned and went back to wandering the halls. That is until he got caught from his out of breath, frantic aide that chewed him out for simply running off.

Taehyung was in for an earful he had a feeling he couldn’t sneak away from.

Xxx

When you entered your shared room with Akina you slumped against your door with a silent huff. Ever sense Taehyung had run into you and lain into your supervisor, she had gotten even harsher on you. Your feet were sore and your legs hurt from all the dowel swats you received if you were to even step wrong walking down the hall. Still, you just took a breath and calmed down, holding your sour disposition about your treatment. At least you weren’t executed- so you could deal with the harshness.

“Madam Hana was too strict today, wasn’t she?” You looked up and saw the small figure of Akina sat in her bed. You nodded before you walked to her, plopping on her bed beside her. You pulled out your notepad and ever shortening pencil as you wrote in the dimly lit room.

‘My legs hurt from all her whacking,’ your paper whined for you.

“Well, maybe I can cheer you up. Or, maybe our charming prince can.” You looked at Akina, your brow shooting up. She hopped off her bed before going to the small shared wardrobe in the room that held both your and her items. She grabbed something from the bottom before whirling around and coming back only to plop something into your lap. Knocking your notepad and pencil away from you. “These are from Prince Taehyung, for you.”

You were speechless- not that you could speak anyways. Sat in your lap was the cleanest, more lovely pair of black flats you had ever seen. Enclosed around the toes and open to the top of your foot with just enough room to hook over your heel and not an inch higher. They’d be so convenient to wear. You ran your finger over their edges before you were reaching for your notepad again and scribbling furiously. You shoved the paper into Akina’s hands.

‘Are you sure they’re for me?’

“He strictly instructed me that I give them to you with the message that he wants you to wear them because he doesn’t want you to hurt your feet anymore,” your roommate explained. You just stared at them star struck. The prince really wanted you to have these shoes? Where did he even get them? Regardless of if it was really him who gifted you these shoes or not, you just nodded in acceptance.

The idea of not padding around barefoot anymore was blissful to just think about. You grew excited to wear them in the morning when another day of grilling work and dowel whacks began. Akina just smiled as she set your notepad aside, watching you kick your feet with your under eyes pushing up in a smile she couldn’t see.

“You are just too darned cute,” the older one insisted. “If I were 10 years older, I’d adopt you in a heartbeat!” She gushed before she sat on the bed beside you and grabbed the shoes. “Let’s try them on!”

Xxx

Taehyung woke up early that next morning, taking to the halls as they were quiet and empty in his silk, royal pjs once again. Peach colored button up shirt that matched the same peach silk trousers that hung off his hips. Slippers of tan on his feet and a robe of gradient corals to fight off the morning chill. He hadn’t bothered in fixing himself to be presentable in the halls, simply because it was far too early to care about physical appearances.

He left his room that morning and made a dash for the gardens. He had hopped to run into you there again, but he wasn’t very hopeful. The only reason he saw you last time was because you were gathering flowers for him- the same flowers he kept in his window sill and watered. But, even if you were not in the gardens, maybe you would be somewhere else?

He stopped mid stride in the hall when he remembered that Akina had told him that you had strict surveillance and curfew. You most definitely wouldn’t be allowed out of your room until fetched. He groaned to himself as he then spun on his heels and backtracked towards the servant’s halls.

Thankfully, he knew where your room was- he did drop you off once after all.

He never realized how many servants were under the king’s employment until he was walking down halls of the servant’s wing. It seemed they were endless before he finally turned down the hall he knew was yours. He nearly jogged when he caught sight of the door he remembered dropping you off at before.

He came to a stop in front of it before he was knocking lightly. He turned and looked out the window behind him- the sun was almost ready to appear for the day. Although it was not yet upon the horizon, the sky had already begun to change colors. His attention fell back to the door when the door handle jostled and then twisted.

The door was cracked open and he was greeted with Akina standing in the open crack. She seemed shocked to see Taehyung in front of her room- of course that was a valid expression. He wasn’t even properly dressed after all. He smiled down to her as he tried to peer inside of the room- but it was too dark to see properly. He looked back to Akina ruffling his messy, blond hair.

“Is Y/n awake yet?” He asked her. Akina twisted her body around and watched as you remained sleeping in your bed. Curled into your blankets and softly snoring. She turned back to her prince.

“She isn’t. Shall I wake her up?” Taehyung shook his head.

“May I come in? I know it’s not proper for a male to enter a female’s room, but could I?” Akina’s face twisted in a few moments of shock before she was stepping back, taking the door with her as it opened further. Apparently, she didn’t mind. Taehyung thanked her as he stepped in, Akina shutting the door behind him.

He stood in the room as he looked around. It was dim, the lantern on the desk in the middle of the room unlit as the morning sky only barely gave the room light. Though it was bright enough to navigate, Akina still rushed to strike a match and light the lantern for better view. She didn’t want the crown prince falling over something and getting hurt in her room.

The small, two bedded room was far different than his own grand room. He felt almost guilty at the difference between staff and royal standards. However, it was something not even he could change- it was part of how the world has been. Perhaps though, one day he could at least improve servants’ quarters.

He shook his head, his thoughts wandering before he turned to Akina. Asking for silent permission to come closer to you. She nodded as he tiptoed to your bedside and knelt beside it. He smiled as you slept.

You slept curled up in blankets, tucked into your chin and curled up like you were cold. Your head had completely slipped off your pillow as you occasionally squirmed. He started poking at your face; your cheeks and nose and tracing your forehead in dumb patterns. He even poked at your mask that he was annoyed you still had to wear even while sleeping. He watched your face pout as he curled his lips to keep himself from laughing.

“Y/n,” he called. He kept prodding at your face until your eyes started to twitch under your eyelids. “Y/n,” he cooed again. As Taehyung tried to wake you, Akina moved to her own bed as she sat down still a bit in shock that the prince was in her room and messing with you. Eventually, your eyes slowly opened, before blinking slowly. He smiled at you as your eyes moved to look at him. “Good morning,” he greeted.

He laughed as your eyes shot open now realizing who was in front of your bed. Tangled in your blankets you shot up and tried to get out of your fabric prison. Sitting up, your torso free of your blanket, but your legs still trapped in it’s folds, you looked past Taehyung to Akina. She was simply smiling at you, shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders before you looked back at the prince.

You looked around to the desk and saw your notepad and pencil sat there, but too far for you to reach. You jumped when Taehyung stood from his knelt position beside you and started to pull at your blanket. You moved as he tugged and before long he was pulling the blanket off you completely.

Taehyung looked at the notepad on the desk before he was grabbing it and placing it in your lap before he was sitting himself down beside you on your mattress. He decided to keep his opinion on your white nightgown to himself- you looked adorable in it. He giggled as you started to scribble down words quickly before shoving it into his lap.

‘What are you doing here, Your Highness?’

“I didn’t get to see you all day, so I came to see you.” He gently set your notepad back in your lap before he was talking again. “I know you're under some strict scheduling, but do you want to go walk with me? I have something I want to talk to you about.” Your eyes widened before you looked down at your lap and lightly kicked your feet against your bed frame. Your being filled with nervousness as Akina was soon standing up.

She moved to the trunk at the end of your bed before she reached into the wardrobe and grabbed a bag to hang your notepad and pencil in. She was now kneeling in front of you, grabbing your feet around your anklets before she was slipping your new, black flats onto your feet.

Taehyung smiled as Akina helped you, glad that she not only gave you the shoes like he asked, but they fit so well on you. She then grabbed your notepad from your lap and placed it into the small bag before helping you to your feet.

“If Madam Hana comes by, I’ll try and stall for you. Go enjoy the morning before work, okay?” She held your hands before she slung the bag over your shoulder to let it rest on your hip. Taehyung was soon standing behind you and patting your back between your shoulder blades. He smiled down at you, something that helped ease your nerves.

Between the both of them, you were soon out in the halls with your nightgown on and Taehyung beside you in his pajamas as Akina shut the door behind you both. You shivered from the cool air in the halls compared to your small, warm room. Taehyung was quick to pull the silk robe from his shoulders and place it over you.

“Wear this,” he urged as you wanted to decline as it was a royal’s robe. He just persisted before he pulled your arms through the sleeves and straightened it to sit on your shoulders. Your shoulder didn’t quite fill it out like his did, but that was alright. You had to admit, it was a lot warmer than nothing at all. “Let’s go talk,” he soothed as he was soon leading you off to somewhere.

Xxx

Taehyung had taken you to a small, secluded part of the royal gardens where you’re not usually allowed. Only royals are allowed beyond a certain point and the select few of servants who care for the garden. Shrubs and bushes of healthy, green color. Rows of flowers lining the cobblestone paths and marble busts of past royal rulers. A small fountain at the center off all the intermingled paths of stone.

He watched you look around and fidget with your fingers. You were currently disobeying a number of rules at the moment. Leaving your room without permission, not being properly supervised, wearing the prince’s robe, entering a restricted garden where servants aren’t allowed. Your mind couldn’t keep up with everything that’s happened in such a short burst of time.

Taehyung pulled you along with him until he sat you down on a stone bench near the fountain before he sat next to you. He sat in silence for a moment as you continued to fidget. He was slouched back, looking up at the color changing sky as the windy blew in small wisps. He hoped his robe was enough to keep your warm.

“I ended up asking my attendant about you, you know?” He started. He could practically feel you stiffen next to him. “I learned a lot about you from him and learned why you do what you do. Though, I have a lot of questions to ask you about it personally.” He felt you moved beside him, taking out your notepad to write on it before you were tapping on his thigh.

‘Are you angry about it? What you learned?’

“No,” he shook his head. “Or maybe I am, but not with you.” He sighed as he brought his chin down to look at the fountain. “I heard that you were sold to my father when you were a child and that the first thing he did was slap you in restraints. That is what I am angry about.”

‘So, you know what my restraints are for?’ Your notepad asked him before he was looking down at your lap. Your fingers were trembling, but something told him it wasn’t because of the morning chill. You were scared. It was clear that you were isolated from your fellow servants because the knowledge of your magic wasn’t exactly a well kept, royal secret.

“Yes, I know you’re a sorceress, Y/n.” You ducked your head, tucking your chin into your chest in shame as you just wished to fade away and disappear with the wind. It wasn’t your fault you were born like this and it wasn’t your fault that everyone thought you were some kind of tumor to be removed from society.

Everything was taken from you since you were a child and it wasn’t your fault. You slowly wrote before handing him the notepad again.

‘I am sorry,’ you apologized. Taehyung’s slouched figure straightened before he was taking the notepad and setting it on the ground on top of the cobblestone and out of your reach. Your eyebrows shot up as you went to go and reach for it before Taehyung was off the bench and kneeling in front of you. He grabbed your hands, stopping your attempts to retrieve your book back.

“Y/n, I don’t want you to apologize for something my family did to you.” His voice was stern as he forced you to look at him as he spoke on his knees in front of you. “It is my father and his awful rules against sorcery that put you right here, right now. It is in no way your fault, you were born with your magic- you can’t just get rid of it or outgrow it.” Your eyes didn’t move from his. You weren’t sure how, but he knew how you felt about it and he was putting to ease all your anxieties. “Listen to me, I want to do something. I have things I want to do that involve you- things I want to do to protect you.”

You furrowed your brows as he let go of your hands and reached up to your face. He traced around the edges of your mask. You reflexively reached up to hold it, keeping the straps behind your ears even if you knew it wouldn’t fall off. You couldn’t take it off, no one could but His Majesty to your knowledge. Taehyung smiled up to you.

“I have a request, and by the end of our conversation this morning, I’d like for you to answer me properly. Is that alright, Y/n?” You simply nodded to him. He placed his hands over your own that were held up by your ears. “I heard that both your gauntlets and anklets are suppressors, and that this mask is also one. When you told me that the king hates your voice, you were talking about your magic, yes?” You nodded again. “Alright, then you also know that you’re unable to take your mask off.”

You felt dumb just nodding to him. But it is all you could do. With him blocking your path to your notepad on the ground and his hands holding yours in place by your ears, you had no other choice but to nod or shake your head in response to his questions.

“Only royal blood can remove your mask,” his tone suddenly changed. It was short and quiet as opposed to his earlier stern monologue. “If that is true, then I can take this mask off of you.” Your eyes widened. “If that’s possible, I’m going to try. I’m going to pull this mask off and I want to hear your voice. I want to see your face, I want to know what you sound like and what you look like when you smile.”

You felt him let go of your hands as he moved his fingers behind your ears. You felt his fingertips feather around the shell of your ear before they hooked under your mask’s straps. Your breath halted.

“When I remove this, I want you to call for me,” he instructed you. You didn’t even nod to him that time. Just remained breathless and still. The sensation of him pulling your mask over your ears and away from your cheeks was odd. It felt like static as you could physically feel something coming back to you. Your throat felt warm and your cheeks tingled with feeling. Like something was being returned to you.

When your mask was pulled from your mouth and away from your face, the wind picked up. The morning chill being blown away as a warm, summer breeze fell in place to comfort your bare face. You ducked your head away from his eyes. Taehyung took your mask before he placed it behind him, joining it with the notepad on the cobblestone before he lifted his hands back to cup your cheeks.

Your cheeks were soft and warm. They pushed under the pressure of his hands as he lifted your chin to look at him. When your eyes met his again your face flushed and he could see the red hue that crept onto your skin under his hands. He smiled at you the moment the sun started to breach the horizon now.

“Memorizing,” he told you. “Now, call for me.” He watched your pink lips open and close, unsure on how to do it. What to do and then the anxieties set in again. You haven't used your voice in so long. What did it sound like now? Would it be weak and hoarse? No, surely not. Your throat was warm and smooth and you felt something magical in the absence of your mask. “It’s alright,” Taehyung soothed. “It’s just us here, just try.”

He watched you stick your tongue out to lick at your dry lips before you opened your mouth again. He felt your jaw move under his hands and your cheeks hollow out at your lips unsure movements. Your chest inflated as you took a breath in.

“Um,” the small noise that came out of your mouth made Taehyung jump as his fingertips pushed into your cheeks further. Trying to urge you to speak, he just nodded as you tried again. “Prince Taehyung?” You whispered in a small, adorable voice.

Taehyung’s jaw dropped before you gasped and pushed your palms against your mouth as if you had just committed a crime. In a sense, you did. It was a royal order that you not speak, but then again it was the prince who told you to speak in the first place after he took off your mask. You were confused and shocked at your own choice of actually speaking again.

“Y/n, would you consider being my lady-in-waiting?” Taehyung blurted out as your eyes bugged before he continued. “I know it’s not proper, and that only noblewomen are assigned court ladies, but I am without an assistant and I want it to be you.”

You had never heard of a prince asking for a woman servant to tend to him before. It was absolutely asinine. However, when you looked at Taehyung, he really meant it.

“Why?” Was your reply and he felt his hair stand on end at hearing your voice again. “The king would surely reject the idea.” It was so soft, like velvet to his ears.

“I will speak to him. He is my father and I will fight him on this. He has no choice if I threaten my throne after all- it works as a last resort.” Threatening his throne? As in threatening to not come to rule and dismissing his coronation one day in the future? That’s ridiculous! “Of course, I’d never really give up my place as crown prince, but it’s a good bargaining chip.”

“But, Madam Hana. She is my supervisor, if I-”

“If you serve under me, she will be unnecessary. I do not want to see her hit you anymore.”

“My prince, I don’t know.” It was no surprise that you were unsure about it. It was all so sudden, not to mention all the unknown variables about such a strong choice. “What answer do you want from me,” you whimpered as you fiddled with the fabric of your nightgown. Taehyung ran his thumb across your cheek as he pulled his lips back into a smile.

“Whatever answer you give me, I’ll accept it. Unlike my father, I am no bully,” he teased. You smiled at the prince calling the king something as lowly as a ‘bully’. His time abroad seemed to have fused this childish, refreshing nature into his persona. It made you feel warm and Taehyung felt like a spring shower.

“If I agree, would you be happy?”

“Yes,” he answered in a heartbeat.

“You are so sure of yourself,” you replied to his quickfire answer.

“I am sure of you.”

As you sat in the restricted garden of royalty, the prince of Lisha on his knees in front of you holding your cheeks in his silk pajamas with his hands that had removed your mask, you made a decision. Perhaps, it was a foolish one in the making. It would surely anger the king and could create tension among your fellow servants. It would undoubtedly cause Madam Hana to go into a fit. But when you thought of Akina and her support as well as your Prince Taehyung who knelt before you, all that didn't seem to matter any more.

It felt like you were regaining a piece of freedom you were stripped of when you were young.

“I would,” you told him. “I would consider it, if you would allow me,” you finalized. If being his lady-in-waiting and throwing out the standard status quo was what it was going to take to please your prince, then you’d just have to accept it and follow him. He was the first royal to even show you a spec of kindness like his late mother did once very long ago.

Yes, you should stick to Prince Taehyung’s side.

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