#can I just say being on this design course has made me realise Why and How Much I love illustration instead

[my-darling-boy]

A couple of vintage inspired Christmas cards for our degree exhibition shop!

[writingmeraki]

be there when I wake up — k.mg drabble.

❝ in which you love mingyu in all states of your mind, whether sober or drunk out of your limit.

( or it seems even when you're drunk you don't recognise him but you still love him with your whole heart. )

pairing : secret agent! husband mingyu x secret agent! spouse reader. warnings : mentions of alcohol and being drunk, hangovers, reader almost has a breakdown (?). genre : fluff, romance. a/n : more of them, I can't get enough I have too much to write on them😔 let me know what you think of this 💌!! not proofread (this was very random pls I am absolutely NOT procrastinating my other wips, ignore errors pls it's lit 5am 😴 )

word count : 1.3k

part of this au !

It felt like you were on cloud nine, feet light as you walked and head filled with nothing.

Being drunk tends to do that to you at least.

Today, when Mingyu and you got your well deserved day off, he decided it was time for you to be the one to let yourself loose.

Not that he never did let you but usually you were the one who assigned yourself as the designated driver whenever it was just you two. Though being as thoughtful as he was, he made sure to never be too hectic for you to handle if he could do it himself.

And even then, he'd still do his best to stabilise himself albeit the attempts were always hilarious but the thought counted.

He held you tightly by your waist to his side, making sure you didn't fall or wander off somewhere because see while he was the type to be the clingy drunk, not leaving your side, you were the carefree one, wanting to fly away, perhaps even quite literally.

As your husband and more importantly lover, he did not want to entertain the idea of you hurting yourself by accident. Luckily, all the gym hours he’d spend building his muscles to impress his one and only lifetime crush (read:you) paid off, because you used him completely as a support to walk, leaning all your weight on him.

Your cheeks were warm, eyes half lidded, now the pain in your cheeks was prominent from smiling so much, it seemed you smiled more when drunk than sober in a few months. It wasn’t because you were emotionless but rather only smiled to those who deserve it, which was only a handful of people. Your husband is on the top of course.

Speaking of your husband, you suddenly paused in your steps, remembering him. Realising you were clinging onto someone, you pushed yourself away, smile dropping and being replaced by a frown while you glared.

Mingyu blinked once, twice, a little startled from being pushed away and even more when he saw your glare.

“You shouldn’t hold some stranger like that, mister.” You could make out the silhouette in front of you, but the face was a blur. The classic case of drunken forgetfulness.

“Babe-”

“BABE? Are you crazy? Only my husband can call me that! Which by the way.” You put out your left hand, pointing towards the shiny ring. The shiny ring he got you. “See!I’m married!”

“And-and I am very happy with my Gyu, I don’t need you- or or anyone courting me- I am very happy with my relationship sir.”

Fuck. Why did you have to say it like that?

He couldn’t stop the grin on his face, there was no way he could even if he tried to. Only you could make him feel like the first time he'd ever have a crush on someone. His heart raced, almost too fast. He swears he can feel his chest fill with even more love.

“Okay, okay how about I get you to your car?”

“No mister! I re-refuse I don't want to go with you, where's Mingyu? Where's Gyu???”

You were whining at this point, finding your legs too tired so you ended up just sitting. Right in the middle of the pavement.

Mingyu’s eyes widened when you sat down but even more in panic, the smile dropping as he saw you bring your hands to your face.

You were crying.

“Where's Gyu? Did he leave me?” A hiccup came after the sentence, as your vision got more blurry with the tears flowing even more freely.

He rushed towards you squatting beside you, pulling you into his side.

“Honey, I'm here. Shh. I'm here.”

You looked up from your position, making sure to blink to clear out the tears and there he was. Your husband.

“Gyuuu” Your words slurred and choked up as you threw yourself at him. Him immediately wrapping his hands around you, still in the sitting position.

Your arms looped yourself around his neck as you put your head in the crook of his neck, still crying.

“I thought you le-left.”

“I'd never. I would never leave you.”

“Please don't.”

Slowly, he got up, pulling you gently up as well, still holding onto you and your entire weight now leaned on him.

“Come on, you wanna head home?” You pulled your face away from the nook, looking up at him as your sobs stopped turning to sniffles.

He moved one hand to hold your face as he caressed your cheek, pushing your stray hair strands behind your ears with delicate touches.

Your eyes began to droop, the side effects of being drunk slowly overcoming you. You just simply nodded as you put your head back to his comfy shoulder.

Sighing, he shook his head as he noticed your breathing slowing down, coming out in slow exhales, meaning you just passed out drunk.

He softly smiled as his hand still caressed your hair. He wouldn't have it any other way.

[ bonus cut : the following morning ]

You were sure this was your karma catching up to you because the way your head was splitting was surely due to your supposed horrible past deeds. There was no other reason.

“Good morning sunshine~”

“Zip. Shut. Shh. Not a word.”

Mingyu frowned, pouting at your harsh reply, but a small pity formed as he saw you wake up while holding your head in pain.

“That's mean.”

“Not mean enough, I will actually kill you.”

Being the ever so doting husband he was, he'd gotten up from your shared bed, made breakfast, your favourite food by the way, and even gotten ready for the day.

“Have this, you'll feel better so that maybe you can plan my murder better hm?”

And now there he sat down beside you on your bed, a painkiller in one hand with a glass of water.

You grabbed the water like you had never touched it in your existence, gulping it down along with the pill,even if it ended up spilling onto your clothes. You frankly don't care.

Mingyu gazed at you with the same adoration he always had. He loved you at all times, anytime. He just knew that he loves you. He didn't think he said it enough.

“I love you.” You almost choked on the water, gulping it down before it sprayed out. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Can I not say I love you to my spouse?” He honestly felt offended at the suspicious look on your face.

“Alright…”

Now it was his turn to squint at you in question, as if waiting for something.

“I guess I love you too.” You were pulling his leg, you loved to see that look on his face where it seemed as though someone had stepped on his tail. Like a puppy who’s tail had been stepped on by mistake

“I don't even want to talk to you. Bye.” He snatched the empty glass, glaring at you now, you knew it was not with any sort of malice, you knew him. He turned around, purposefully stomping and then you couldn't stop the laughter.

You burst out in giggles, clutching your stomach, the headache subsiding.

You threw off the blanket and rushed after him, hugging him from behind, hands barely wrapping around his large frame but it did stop him. You placed your face sideways on his back.

“I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I love you. Like surely. One hundred percent.” You said still chuckling, the grin on your face not faltering.

He wasn't even upset in the first place, because the moment he heard your laugh, his own grin formed widely on his face.

“You mean it?”

“I do. Always did. And will.”

And perhaps this was what it meant to be loved. And to love.

for my dearest @etherealyoungk ; THIS IS A VERY VERY LATE BIRTHDAY GIFT TO MY WIFE 🫂 ( blame that on the fact that this was totally not what I planned to write for ur birthday 😔) I love you so much and I can't believe we got close this soon <3 I wish I could have known you before because it feels like I know you since so long, you're literally my soulmate like??? i hope you have an amazing year ahead soo here is ur fave couple as a present mwahh (mine too lowkey)

perm. taglist ( open ! ) : @mansaaay ; @gyuguys

( if you want to be added just send an ask/reply to this !)

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2024

feedback is always appreciated 💌 !

links : main navi ! | svt masterlist ! | info !

[vashtijoy]

have you seen the commentary from the p5r artbook going around? the shuake part of my dash is losing it a bit at the implication that their wishes were mutual!!! that seems to be what some people are getting from the commentary at least… amy insights?

Hi! I have been through the artbook. It's great, isn't it? :D

The image above is called "One Ending", and the creator caption (by illustrator Akane Kabayashi) reads:

When I think about how Akechi's wish was to play chess after school with the protagonist, I almost want to call him out with "You liked him after all, didn't you!"

Look at that. We're told about Akechi's wish, and what it included. We're as good as told outright that he likes Joker—and this isn't the only time, there's also this:

—There are a whole lot of things we can imagine, based on how the protagonist was depicted as someone special to Akechi. Those are more or less the exact emotions represented during Akechi's confidant. (Mumon Usuda, chief designer)

"someone special" here is 特別な存在 tokubetsuna sonzai—literally "a special presence". It means a special person, and more than that; it describes someone you find compelling, someone you can't look away from, someone who becomes one of your most important people, the centre of your world. It's another term that is often romantic, but isn't necessarily romantic.

(In the same way, I think Kabayashi's suki jan! is more tongue-in-cheek than it is a cast-iron confirmation that Akechi was canonly in love with Joker. The language there is teasing, it's ambiguous, it's baity; Kabayashi is joking. This is a rank 6—as they say, if you know, you know. But it is of course ultimately up to all of you.)

There's another mention of this image, down in the creator interview:

Out of all the Maruki ending illustrations, it was Akechi's that stuck with me the most. It made such an impression to see them opening up as friends, having a fun, peaceful time together like high school students should. (Mumon Usuda, chief designer)

What really strikes me in all of this is the emphasis the creators put on the fact that this is Akechi's illustration, Akechi's wish. Because I've thought for a while that we know Akechi has a wish. You can see him struggling with his refusals to Maruki in the first week of January. And you can hear his wish spoken—when Maruki repeats it back to him, during the boss fight, on 2/3:

Maruki {F1 81}君たちとなら、君も過ちのない道を歩めるかも知れないじゃないか！ {F1 81}-kun-tachi to nara, kimi mo ayamachi no nai michi o ayumeru kamoshirenai ja nai ka! If you're with {F1 81}―kun and his friends, you could begin to atone for what you've done! Think about it! With [Amamiya]-kun and his friends beside you, you could choose a path with no mistakes as well!

So this wish has several parts. First, there's that kimi mo, "you also"; it's tempting to read this as Maruki also wanting his new world to erase his past mistakes. Second, there's the first part, "if you're with [Amamiya]-kun and his friends". Where to even start here?

Being with Joker and the others is a prerequisite for the second half of Akechi's wish. It doesn't just coexist, it enables the rest of it. Just like his words in the engine room, "I wonder why we couldn't have met a few years earlier, [Ren]..."

Remember, Akechi's whole arc is about his rejection of trust and friendship, and his insistence on doing everything himself. This is precisely what Futaba calls him out on—"you trusted no one", or "you played life in single-player mode". This is what he unlearns at the climax of the engine room, when he realises he isn't prepared to let the others die—and follows through to save them.

Akechi is nothing without others, and he knows it. Without their support, which he believes he has no right to, he has no hope of living a better life, even were he to be given the chance—and he knows that, too. He has learned, and he has grown—and yet he knows the things he needs and wants so badly are forever inaccessible.

And his wish is about all the Phantom Thieves, not just Joker. There are many tiny references to this end—not least the original Japanese rank 10 line for his confidant, where he sacrifices himself for all of you. Joker is his compelling presence, his someone special, but he's formed small bonds with the others too, God help him.

and then there's the crime thing

The localisation frames Akechi's wish in terms of atonement, but that's not what's on offer. You cannot, after all, atone for things you never did. We see Akechi's wish put into practice, in the Maruki ending, where he appears with his friends beside him, wholly innocent and with unstained hands. And we see it in the first week of January, after he has finally met Maruki and spoken to him:

Akechi: Ah, that reminds me—there was one more thing I wanted to tell you. Akechi: About the reality Maruki's put us in... Akechi: It seems that Okumura and Wakaba are both considered alive by all accounts. [Ren: They're not dead anymore? / What do you mean?] Akechi: They aren't mere illusions, or cognitive beings—they truly are alive and existing in this world. Akechi: In fact, their deaths seem to have never taken place at all in this reality. [Ren: What happened to Shido?] Akechi: Shido was the only one arrested on the crime of attempting to overthrow the government... Akechi: It seems the Phantom Thieves were causing a stir in this society as well, but there's no record of your arrest now. Akechi: Basically, in this reality, you and I haven't committed any crimes.

While Akechi still remembers his crimes, they never took place. They have been undone, and only his lingering memory—and Joker's, at this point—speaks to them. He objects to this on countless levels, he summons all the strength he has to refuse it, but don't make the mistake of thinking that means he doesn't want it. This is Akechi's wish in action.

People are often very certain that Akechi's resolve in the third semester is like iron—that he rejects Maruki's offers right away, is never tempted, never wavers. But that can't be true. We know he's afraid to die. We know about the bad end where you don't complete the Palace, where Akechi says nothing and stares at the floor, seemingly blaming himself internally while all the others blame themselves aloud, for being unable to say no to Maruki's temptations. We know how he responds to this assertion of Maruki's—Maruki, who has perfectly summed up what we know all the other PTs wanted, and who (even if Word of God hadn't just confirmed Akechi's wish) we have, honestly, no reason to doubt.

Because Akechi never refutes this wish that Maruki describes. He never says he doesn't want it. He just rejects it—like all the others, who so desperately want what Maruki could give them. Futaba's mother, Haru's father. Akechi's life, and his innocence. And the people who might have been his friends, if he could dare, one day, to ask.

Akechi is tested just like the others, and the price he pays for his defiance is perhaps the highest of all.

and finally

[The Maruki ending illustrations are] of Maruki's world, where everyone's wishes are granted and they seem happy. The scene shows their actualised wishes, which were never granted in the real world. (Mumon Usuda, chief designer)

We shouldn't forget the price Akechi pays for his impossible wish. Sure, the vision of himself being altered like Sumire clearly haunts him, and I'm sure it made the choice easier—but I don't think it made it that easy. Instead of taking the dream Maruki offered him, Akechi chose to face up to what he'd done, and who he'd become; at the very end, in the third semester and in the engine room, he always makes the right choice.

And that choice was taken away from him. Agency over his life and death, his own acts, and who he would even be—Joker and Maruki take it all away from him and make him a puppet, just like Shido.

Maruki's ending isn't pretty.

revision history

Click here for the latest version.

v1.0 (2024/03/29)—first published.

[ni-kism]

「Bad Luck」

Inspired by "Yellowstone", the scene where Beth smashed the store.

Mafia!Cheol x wife!reader ft. Secretary Shua

Warnings : mentions of insecurity, blood and violence, punching (?), explicit language, very fluffy at the end, wonwoo and hao has wives, pet names

Genre : fluff

Everything below is pure fiction made for entertainment purposes. Do not copy any of the actions below.

"If my husband came in here, he'd kill somebody"

You hopped out of the car after saying goodbye and thanks to one of cheol's men. He'd taken his day off just to drop you off at the street where all the designer stores are. With no special day yet your husband insisted that you should go shopping while he dealt with meetings. Your husband? Mafia boss of the underground world. They're all wary of him while he fears none except you - his precious wife. The way he'd get on his knees to apologise so quickly if he were to be the reason you're upset.

You grabbed yourself a latte while looking for a store to walk into. Deciding to look for a necklace you slipped into the store with a pretty lilac stone on display. Immediately you realise the gaze of the shopkeeper on you, eyeing you up and down. After looking around and having enough of her glares, you approached her to ask for the necklace you saw by the window.

"I've seen enough of your type of people. You can't afford this unless you sell a kidney why don't you get your ass over the store down the street where poor people are supposed to be?"

Before you could respond, " You stole something didn't you, I'd like to check your bag missy." spat the shopkeeper.

"Get a warrant"

"I don't need one. Lock the doors and call the cops" she ordered the guy standing by the door.

Infront of her face you threw your bag on the counter while fishing out your phone to call Joshua.

"(Y/n)? Something wrong?" He questioned immediately since you rarely call him

"I need help. A store by main street with police cars outside. You'll see it." You can already hear the sound of key hitting against each other in the background before he spoke again.

"Why did you call me? Why didn't you call cheol?"

"If my husband came in here, he'd kill somebody" you answered.

You eyed the shopkeeper's name tag that said "Veronica". Ooh it's the one that's gotten a few complaints about being rude to customers. When the cops arrived so did Joshua. Upon seeing him the cops....squirmed away back in their car...?

"Sorry Mr.Hong we're closing now as we are having some issues with this...thief here. She probably shoved it in her bra or pants. I'll have the cops search her right away if you must shop today!"

"No need." said Joshua as he gave her a side eye.

Upon seeing Joshua's attitude, the air got awkward and scary at the same time whilst you could only hide behind him hoping he would just slap her and take you home. You'd deal with her after asking cheol to buy the store or something...maybe get someone to run her car over. Does she even have a car?

The bell hung above the door gave out a soft ring, signalling that someone had just entered. Before you could register who in the hell enters a store with police cars parked outside and before Veronica could tell the person that they're closed, a baseball bat flew straight into her face so quickly it cracked one of her teeth! You quickly turned fearing the worst for Veronica. The police cars are long gone now replaced with a black Roll's Royce and...your husband who's walking through the entrance. Oh no. Rip Veronica.

You hear cheol ask Joshua to go back and finish off his work before he goes home. Joshua approaches him and hands him a recording pen before nodding and leaving in his BMW.

So.... everything was recorded...of course Joshua told him...now Veronica's fucked...like fucked.

"Mr.Choi-!" Slap. Ooh her mouth started bleeding. If she knows about your husband...and your husband's secretary how come they don't know you? Wierd. Everyone in dirty work or involved in underground stuff knew who you were.

"Mr.Choi? What's wrong you're our most precious custo-"

"You messed with the wrong girl, Veronica."

"This girl? She's a thief!! She tried to steal our jewels and stones!!" She quickly answered while holding her cheek. Slapped yet so respectful because she knew what would happen if she weren't. "Here it comes" you thought to yourself.

"This girl you claim to be a "thief" is my wife."

You've never seen colour drain from a person face this quickly as she realised she messed up big time. Accusing the wife of the man who makes even the police run away? It's better if she just shut up and get lost but cheol would never let that slide. As he went towards the door to lock it, Veronica dropped to her knees to apologise saying things along the lines of "spare me", "I have children to feed" and "I can't die". Seungcheol picked up the baseball bat that was forgotten on the ground since earlier while telling her that she should have been polite to just show you the necklace instead of judging just because you didn't dress up. Following the end of his sentence he hits the nearest piece of glass with the bat, resulting in a loud shattering noise and silence so thick it could be cut with a knife after the shards have settled.

"Cheol that's enough let's go-" you tried to grab him but he took your hand in his to kiss your knuckles instead.

"Oh babygirl we have all night. The sun is setting, why don't you try on the jewelry you came here to look for. Let me guess, that big one by the window? I'll fetch it for you." He pecks you and grabbed a high stool for you to sit on. Seungcheol puts on the necklace with big lilac diamond around your neck and steps away to admire you.

"Love, how about this one?" He said as he smashed yet another glass covered shelve. For the next ten minutes, he chose some nice rings and necklaces for you to put on and "take home" as well as stepping on the gems that weren't polished or looked ugly. You protested, insisting on going home many times but he would silence you with a kiss on the lips. Everything unfolded infront of Veronica as she could only stare in horror. When he reached the last piece of intact glass in the store, Seungcheol pointed the bat against it as he turned to her to speak.

"You bring your sorry ass on your knees before my wife and apologize for judging her for how she dressed, and for treating a fellow customer rudely."

Losing her cocky exterior, she crawled towards you on her knees to apologise word for word while asking you to ask Seungcheol so he would spare their last piece of unshattered glass as well as the accessories inside.

"Much better. Here love, have a bag." He handed you a medium sized box and a bag to store all the things he'd put on your lap or around your neck and fingers before turning to Veronica again.

"You're lucky my wife was here or you'd be painting those pretty tiles with red right now. Regardless you'll be losing your job and your boss will be losing this shop lot. Enlighten me, what will you tell your boss?"

"A runaway criminal came in and attempted to steal....Mr.Choi had driven him away...so I gave his wife our jewels." She managed to stutter out while still trembling.

"Good." he said. He walked towards you to help you off the high stool and into his Roll's Royce. You tried to look back, catching Veronica phoning her boss and telling him exactly what she said she would. Wow. It's honestly the first time seeing your husband in action. You'd heard from the fellow wives of your husband's peers, namely Wonwoo and Minghao's wives that he can be impulsive but it's the first time you've ever been on the scene of his anger. Well the ladies were serious when they said he's the scariest.

You set the box of jewellery next to your feet while turning to look at your husband. His scary facade was over, now smiling about the scene he caused back there and happy that he brought you justice.

"Someone is happy~" you cooed. "Are you proud of me sweetheart?" He asked while he stopped at a red light.

"Shua told you didn't he..." You questioned, admiring the way he drives the car with only one hand, the other on your lap.

"Of course he did, you were in danger. You accused that I would kill someone but cmon baby I'm not that bad...I fight but nothing illegal! Ever!!" He said while pouting. Nobody dares to challenge him. His company and family controls 70% of the economy and his underground dealings that involve weapons and solutions used to make medicine that are somehow legal every time it is checked bring In lots too. You somehow managed to marry this guy and not find out about his whole identity until you were so inlove you're ready to be the evil man's wife that fights with him to death in those movies.

You once questioned him, and he allowed you to go through this stuff. He sells the solutions and medicine at a cheaper price in big batches to hospitals and labs because the government is using it for money but he actually wants to help, that's why the government is always looking for something to get him in trouble but they end up shining the lights on their own dirty work. You can't help but want to give yourself a pat on the back everytime you see or hear of his deeds that aren't posted all over the media. He knew you liked cats, so adopted two for you and donated a few millions to cat shelters overseas. You loved this man. Even when he gets sick and almost puked on the ground you'd still love him.

The ride back home was comfortable with soft tunes playing in the background. He'd take peeks at you and you'll both giggle. Three years into your marriage, the love never faded. Most say that marriage is the grave for love yet everyday spent with Seungcheol felt... genuine and happy. You help him by diving Joshua's workload, mostly organising stuff about his company or his personal schedules. Before starting work you'd make him a lunchbox, write a cute note on it and pack it up. Afternoons were spent with your cats by your side or playing with each other as you typed away on your computer. At night, he'd come home around 8. He never postpones coming home because of work. Usually it's traffic or he got something on the way back for him to be late as he likes to say that the important stuff should be finished at the office, the rest can be put off until tomorrow and he will leave at 7:30 sharp to go home and see his beautiful wife.

He usually comes home to a purring engine on the cabinet of the mansion's door and another furball on the floor with the smell of dinner going into his nose. He always greets you with a kiss or hug when he comes home. During dinner, he either pouts and complains about work or shares the interesting things that happen today. Does he let you do the dishes on your own? Hell no. He can and he will help you no matter what. If you scrub the plates, he will rinse and try them ; if he mops the floor then you clean the counter tops and dinner table. That's just how fantastic of a husband he is. The man that people fear most will wear a pink apron with cats on it and mop the floor even if you asked him to rest.

His car gently rolls into the porch of your marble white mansion. You both enter the door and your cats immediately run to greet you. He once said that the cats lift his mood, but you do wonders on him. You tossed the food into the steamer and quickly joined him in the bathtub. You like to take baths together by cleaning each other. You wash his back while he washes and dries your hair for you. You always feed the cats first before taking a bath together. Although it is mostly relaxing and warm to bathe with your husband, yet things can get freaky when he's moody or horny. You once fucked so hard the both of you collapsed and fell asleep until the next day waking up to very grumpy cats as they didn't have their dinner. Oops. Today was one of those relaxing warm bath days.

After you both finished dinner, you cuddled on the couch with dimly lit warm lights around the huge living room equipped with floor-to-celling glass windows facing the sea for a spectacular view. Your cats, hanging by the cat tree sharpening their claws and running around playing. You enjoyed "us" time the most. Before bed, after dinner or when you wake up in the morning. He holds you close against his bare chest as he has a habit of walking around the house shirtless almost all the time. You set your head on his muscular chest and he buries his head in the crook of your neck your your hair. Then, you talk about random things or just simply enjoy the embrace of each other.

You've thought about having kids but...your cats and your husband are enough now. You want to have peace and quiet, not quite ready to give up what you have right now. Seungcheol is totally fine with it as he says that it's your choice. He's happy as long as you're with him.

Seungcheol is the type of man to choose you before his baby because "we can always try again for another baby, but I can never find another you. I don't want a family or anything if you're not my wife♡"

Suddenly he spoke up. "Love?"

"Yeah?" You answered with eyes closed and your hand reaching down to pat your cat who has decided to loaf Infront of the couch.

"Would you rather choose a hero or a villain?" He asked. You scooted up a bit to look at him, acting like you're actually thinking when you already know the answer.

"The villain." You stated

"Why?"

"Because the hero would give me up to save the world, but the villain would give up the world to save me." You answered knowing that the world sees him as a bad guy who pursues violence and force to get his way as well as trades stuff behind doors to earn money.

Your hands intertwined, wedding rings on both of your fingers gently hitting against each other as he kissed you ; soft giggles and meows filled the room when you chat into the night.

"Sweetheart, i'd burn the world to ashes if it meant that there will always be a you and me."

A/N : hope you enjoyed and thanks for all the likes and reblogs on my previous story "Christmas, Airports and Coffee". I appreciate every single one of them. Feel free to request for cheol if anyone is interested~ (only cheol because I've tried writing for other members and discovered I could only come up with ridiculous ideas for my bias while the others sounded so dry and uninteresting I just deleted everything. Like seriously.)

<3

[snowysosturn]

Fire & Desire - Matt Sturniolo Part 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Pairing: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary: Y/n has always clashed with Matt. Despite working for Chris’s clothing brand and being close with Nick, her relationship with Matt has always been tense at best. While being forced to be around each other more, their animosity turns into something deeper. Can they overcome their differences, or will their fiery emotions tear them apart?

Warnings: MDNI, angst, tension, toxic relationship, arguing

I woke up feeling groggy and disoriented. My eyes flickered open, it took me a minute to realise that I wasn’t in my room. Then it hit me, I was in Matt’s bed.

My heart sank, I sat up quickly, wiping the sleep from my eyes. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, feeling a weird mix of comfort and awkwardness. Why did it feel so nice to be here?

I didn’t ponder on the thought for too long. Pushing myself up, I walked out of Matt’s bedroom. I sauntered into the living area, and there he was, sprawled on the couch, one arm resting lazily over the back of the couch, the other holding his phone. His eyes looked up as soon as he heard me approach.

“How are you feeling now?” he said, his voice low 

I stalled for a moment, still caught between the fog of sleep and the awkwardness of the situation. “Better..” I admitted.  “Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed.”

He shrugged, a small smile forming at the corner of his lips. “No problem. You needed the rest.”

The atmosphere in the room felt.. odd. Not in a bad way, just unfamiliar. Too nice. The kind of nice that would make you second guess everything. I scratched the back of my neck, trying to shake the feeling.

“I should go grab my sketch pad” I said quickly, breaking the silence. “I need to finish off some designs.”

Matt nodded, his expression unreadable as he watched me. 

I gave him a quick side smile before turning and heading up the stairs to my room. I flicked on the lights and my gaze shifted almost immediately to the corner of my room. A white AC cooler now plugged in, keeping the room at a perfect temperature. My eyes then fell to my bed. Sitting on top of the neatly made covers was an eye mask and a pair of earplugs, placed carefully as if someone had intentionally left them there.

I stood there in slight shock. “Did Matt do all this?” I muttered to myself, picking up the eye mask and turning it over in my hands.

Maybe this was Matt waving a white flag. A quiet, small gesture of goodwill to make things easier between us. Maybe it would actually be easy to live here now. It was almost like a weight lifted off my shoulders, cutting through the animosity between us. I should go thank him,

Eye mask still in hand, I turned to make my way back downstairs. But just as I reached the door, the sound of voices carried up the staircase. Chris and Nick were back from their day of meetings.

“I genuinely should be your Director forever” Chris’s voice was loud and triumphant, with a bit of arrogance. “I would make such an impact working at Space Camp!”

Nick laughed, his tone sarcastic. “You took a few photos, Chris. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

I hesitated in the doorway, before walking down the stairs, all four of us now gathered in the living area, but I felt a shift in the atmosphere again. Matt immediately returned to his usual cold demeanor. He shot me an arrogant look. "Look who's finally out of bed"

I raised an eyebrow, questioning why he’d say that, especially since he knew how I was feeling, how he went out of his way, in multiple forms to try fix it. It felt petty.

Chris tilted his head, curious. "Did you sleep all day?"

I shook my head, brushing off Matt’s comment. "No, just a nap. I had a migraine earlier" I explained. "But I’ve nearly finished my sketches for the patches." I added, eager to prove myself.

"Nice!" Chris said with an approving nod. "Can you show me them?"

Nick flopped onto the couch beside Matt, giving me a quick smile. “Of course she nearly has them done, it's like witchcraft how she gets things done so fast.”

I smiled back faintly, trying to settle into the group dynamic, though Matt’s comment still lingered in the back of my mind. It was a reminder that even with small moments of truce, things could snap back to how they were in an instant.

’Yeah let me go grab them” I agree.

Before I can leave, Chris’ phone buzzes, the vibration loud enough to catch both of our attention. The screen lights up with a name: Nate.

Chris grins, already reaching for it. “Hold that thought. Nate’s calling. I gotta answer this first.” Without waiting for a response, he picks up and disappears toward the bathroom for privacy, leaving the rest of us in the room.

I wander upstairs ti grab my sketch pad, not wanting to sit in the awkwardness with Matt. I step over the AC cooler, carefully avoiding the tangle of wires on the floor, and grab the sketch pad from my desk. My hand lingers for a moment over the cover, my mind racing with everything I still need to finish. 

By the time I make it back downstairs, Chris has come back from the bathroom, grinning from ear to ear. His energy is even higher than it was before, showing a stark contrast to the tension that’s settled between Matt and I. Again.

“So, Nate’s in.” he says, sliding his phone into his pocket. 

I blink, caught off guard. “What?”

“Nate” Chris repeats, his grin widening. “Nick and I called him earlier and convinced him to come to Hawaii with us. He’s flying into LA tomorrow morning since there’s no other available flights, told him he could stay here while we’re in Vegas.”

“Wait, Nate’s coming here?” I ask, trying to keep the surprise out of my voice. He was only someone I met briefly once, but he seemed cool.

“Yup. He’ll crash here until we’re back, then fly with us to Hawaii.” Chris explains, looking proud of himself.

Matt perks up instantly, his face lighting up with a genuine smile, which around me was a rarity. “That’s sick!” he says, leaning forward with sudden enthusiasm. “This is gonna be good.”

I can’t help but notice the shift in Matt’s tone. It’s the kind of warmth and excitement he never seems to have when he’s talking to me. Amazing, really, how he can be so happy with five people in this house but act so cold when it’s just four.

I drop into the chair across from him, clutching my sketch pad a little tighter. The contrast stings more than I want to admit, why is he like this with me? I decide to focus on Chris instead, who’s still riding the high from Nate’s call.

Chris plops back onto the couch, gesturing toward the pad in my hands. “Let me see what you’ve got.”

I hesitate for a moment, unsure if I even have the energy to go through the designs, but I set the sketch pad on the table and flip it open to the latest pages.

Chris leans forward, his expression genuinely interested as he studies the designs. “These are unbelievable” he says after a few moments, nodding in approval. “Exactly the vibe I was thinking. We’ll go over colorways tomorrow, but this is a solid start.”

“Great I was thinking adding letters into the patches too, all we need to decide on a font.” I say, but realistically my thoughts are already elsewhere. 

It’s hard not to feel like the outsider in this group sometimes, and Matt’s solely the reason. But then days like today confuse me, I catch myself thinking about the small things Matt has done, the AC, the earplugs, the eye mask, letting me sleep in his bed. Maybe I’m the problem?

I glance over at Matt, who’s back to scrolling on his phone, his expression unreadable. I sit back in my chair, flipping through the pages of my sketch pad while the idea lingers in my mind. I really should thank Matt for what he did, even if he’d probably just shrug it off or make some snide remark. Still, it feels right.

But how do I do it without the awkwardness? Without it becoming another weird, tension filled moment between us? Especially with other people around.

I pull out my phone and open the Uber app, scrolling through nearby stores. Target pops up, and I click on it, searching for something simple, like a Thank You card. I scroll past the overly formal ones and find one that feels more neutral, a plain white card with a gold "Thanks" embossed on the front.

As I add it to my cart, I pause for a moment, debating whether to leave it at that or add something else. A thank you card alone might come across as too formal, like I've not made that much of an effort. My finger hovers over the snack section before I give in and start browsing.

Matt isn’t exactly hard to read when it comes to his tastes. I’ve seen him tear through a bag of jelly worms during one of his late night streams, so I add a pack of those. Then a couple of chocolate bars for good measure. It feels like a decent enough gesture, casual, thoughtful, but not too over board.

I double check the delivery address and confirm the order. The app tells me it’ll be here within the next half hour. Perfect.

I glance across the room at Matt again. He hasn’t looked up from his phone, completely absorbed in whatever he’s scrolling through. Part of me wants to say something now, just to break the silence, but I don’t trust myself not to fumble over the words. This will be easier, quieter, but hopefully meaningful.

Chris, meanwhile, is still flipping through the sketches. “Seriously, you’re killing it with these” he says, his tone casual but genuine.

“Thanks” I reply, though my mind is still focused on the delivery.

About twenty minutes later, my phone buzzes with a notification: Your Target order has arrived. I slip out of the living area as discreetly as I can and head toward the front door.

The small brown bag is waiting at the door. I grab it quickly and head upstairs to my room, where I can put everything together without an audience.

I pull the card out first, grabbing a pen from my desk. I keep the message short:

Thanks for today, and the new bits for my room. I really appreciate it. - Y/n

It feels slightly awkward writing it, but at least it’s honest. I slip the card into its envelope and tuck it into the bag with the snacks.

Now comes the hard part. How do I get this to him without making it weird? After a moment of hesitation, I decide to leave it outside his bedroom door. He’s bound to come across it eventually, and it saves both of us the awkwardness of a face to face.

I wait until the living area clears out, Chris and Nick head to their rooms, and Matt disappears into his. Then, with the bag in hand, I quietly creep toward his door and set it down infront of the door.

Now all I can do is wait, and hope this can smooth out whatever tension is between us.

I head to my room and for once, the air feels bearable, thanks to the cooler Matt got me. I drop onto my bed, sighing into the quiet. I grab my phone, ready to set an alarm for the morning. My thumb hovers over the clock icon when a notification pops up at the top of the screen:

Thanks for ordering! How was your order? Tip Ethan.

I stare at it for a second, my stomach twisting. Ethan. God, that name. It feels like it’s haunting me, popping up when I least expect it.

I push the notification away reflexively, not clicking into the Uber app. I set my alarm and toss my phone onto the nightstand, my chest slightly aching. Why does something so small feel like a punch in the gut?

Shaking my head, I pull the blanket over me, turning onto my side. Tomorrow is a new day, I tell myself. A day to focus on work, on designs, on anything but ghosts from the past.

I close my eyes, hoping to let sleep take control.

The next morning, I wake up to the sound of my alarm blaring on the nightstand. I groan softly, but I force myself up, knowing I can’t afford to hit snooze. I stretch, pull on a hoodie, and head downstairs to the kitchen. The house is quiet, which I’m grateful for. Matt’s probably still asleep, and Nick doesn’t emerge before 10 if he doesn’t have to.

I make myself some scrambled eggs and toast, moving quickly around the kitchen, aware of the time. Chris and I have a meeting scheduled for 9am to finalize designs, and I’m thankful we get to do it here, at his kitchen table. 

Chris walks in just as I’m finishing my coffee. His hair is slightly messy, and he’s wearing a black hoodie and joggers, looking like he just rolled out of bed.

“Morning” he says, voice husky.

“Morning” I reply, offering a small smile.

He gets himself a soda, leans against the counter, and takes a sip. “Ready for this meeting?”

“As ready as I can be for 9am” I say, grabbing my sketch pad and laptop from the chair beside me.

We settle at the kitchen table, Chris leans back in his chair, tapping his pen against the edge of the table as we go over the color options. The table is scattered with swatches, mockups, and half drank liquids.

“So” he says, holding up a navy, white and red combo, “I think this one is clean. It’s classic, but it’s fresh.”

I nod. “Agreed. Navy, white and red always works.”

We scribble down notes on the mockup before moving to the next pairing. Chris points to a pink and red combination I’d suggested earlier. “I actually love this. It’s bold but not obnoxious.”

“Right? It’s kind of unexpected but still wearable” I reply. 

We continue debating until we settle on a full lineup: navy, white and red, pink and red, lilac and violet, and an all black option. 

“All black is always a hit” Chris says, jotting it down. “This is solid. I think we’ve got something here.”

We sit in silence for a moment, both of us looking over the finalized ideas. It feels good to have something concrete, a sense of accomplishment settling over me.

Before we knew it, everything was finalized and sent off to the manufacturer for samples. I was filled with a sense of relief and excitement.

“Alright” Chris said, pushing his chair back and standing up. “I’d better get going to the airport. Nate’s flight should be landing in an hour.”

As if timed perfect, Nick appeared at the bottom of the stairs, yawning and stretching dramatically. He leaned against the wall, still in his pajamas. “You’re heading to the airport?” he asked, his voice groggy but intrigued.

Chris nodded. “Yeah, to grab Nate.”

Nick’s eyes lit up. “Take me with you! I need breakfast. Please.”

Chris raised an eyebrow, looking skeptical. “You just woke up, and you want me to detour so you can fill your face?”

Nick clasped his hands together in mock pleading. “Yes! Please!. It’s a win win. You get company driving, and I get tater tots. Come on, you love me.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the exchange. Chris sighed, shaking his head in defeat. “Fine. But we’re not making a whole morning out of it. Quick stop and that’s it.”

Nick grinned triumphantly and darted back upstairs, calling over his shoulder. “Give me five minutes! I’ll be ready!”

Chris glanced at me, a smirk tugging at his lips. “He’s like a child sometimes.”

I laughed. “That’s rich coming from you.”

As Chris grabbed his keys and jacket, he paused. “You good here?”

“Yeah yeah, I’ve got plenty to do” I assured him as he headed out. 

A few moments later, I heard Nick bolting back down the stairs, still pulling on his Ugg’s as he followed Chris out the door.

Now that the chaos of work had settled, I decided to take a rare moment for myself. I sank into the L shaped couch, grabbing the remote and began catching up on some shows. For once, it felt like I could truly relax.

Then all of a sudden, I hear this loud, insistent pounding at the front door, completely shattering any calm I created. I froze, unsure of what to do. I didn’t like answering the door in general. Maybe it was just a delivery? But the pounding continued, more urgent this time. Should I get it? I hesitated, glancing at the empty stairs. I mean, I did live here now, sorta. If it was something important and it was missed, it would be on me.

I hopped up from the couch, cursing under my breath about how Matt should really be the one to deal with this. Each step down the stairs felt heavier as the pounding persisted. I reached the door and swung it open.

And there he stood.

Ethan.

Of all people, Ethan.

The world around me started to spin. His face was the last thing I expected to see. He looked rougher around the edges, but unmistakably him. For a moment, neither of us spoke, just staring at each other.

“Hey” he said, his voice steady, but his eyes searching mine.

“What.. are you doing here?” I finally managed, my voice barely above a whisper.

“I needed to see you” he replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

My instinct was to shut the door, panic and adrenaline coursing through my veins. My mind spun. How did he know I was here? Then it clicked in my brain.

The Uber notification.

He was the driver.

“Wait!” Ethan yelled, shooting his hand out to block the door before it could fully close.

“Ethan, what the fuck? What the fuck are you even doing here?” I hissed, trying to keep my voice low enough not to draw attention. 

“Just hear me out” he said, his tone becoming more insistent with every sentence.

“No. Absolutely not. You shouldn't even know where I am.”

His lips pressed together into a thin line, already getting frustrated. “It wasn’t intentional. I seen the name and recognised the address and I just couldn’t leave it so-”

“So you thought randomly showing up was a good idea?” I interrupted, my voice now raising.

Ethan sighed aggressively, leaning against the doorframe, his hand keeping the door open with his firm grip. “I didn’t come here to fight. I just.. I wanted to see you. We didn’t exactly end things on the best terms.”

I let out a pitiful laugh, trying to keep my composure. “And who’s fault is that?”

“Look” he said, his tone softening, “I know I fucked up, but I’ve been thinking about you. About us.”

I shook my head, stepping back trying to make the distance between us known. “Ethan, whatever you’re looking for, you’re not going to find it here. You’ve honestly lost it, showing up here like this. After everything you did? Trashing my apartment, stealing my things, making me homeless. You crossed every line.”

Ethan threw his hands up defensively. “I came here to talk. To explain.”

“Explain?” I snapped, my voice sharp enough to cut. “Explain what? How you thought destroying my home was some way of winning me back? You’ve got to be fucking joking. I don’t want to hear it, Ethan. I just want my locket back. That’s it.”

Ethan’s expression darkened, and his voice dripped with venom. “You really are a bitch, you know that?”

His words hit me across the face, but I didn’t flinch. I’d dealt with his manipulation long enough to know how to stand my ground.

“Call me whatever you want. Just give me my locket.” I said firmly, trying to hold back tears longing for my locket.

Ethan smirked, taking a step closer. “I was going to give it to you. I really was. But not now. Not after you acting like this.”

I took a step back, my blood boiling. “Me? Acting like this? You’ve got some nerve, Ethan. Leave.”

He didn’t budge, his presence suffocating the space between us. I repeated myself, louder this time. “Go, Ethan. I’m serious. Leave. Now.”

But Ethan stayed firmly rooted in place, his defiance infuriating and almost threatening. Just as I was about to speak again, a voice came from behind me.

“She’s asked you to leave, kid.”

I turned to see Matt standing a few steps above me, his tone calm but carrying an unmistakable edge. His arms were crossed over his chest, his posture relaxed, but his eyes told a different story.

Ethan’s face scrunched. “This isn’t your business, man.”

“It is when you’re standing at my front door,” Matt replied, his voice low and steady. “She’s told you to leave. I suggest you do before this gets embarrassing for you.”

Ethan’s stance finally cracked, and with a final glare in my direction, he muttered something under his breath before stepping back.

“This isn’t over” Ethan said, pointing at me as he turned to walk away.

“Oh, it is.” Matt laughed after him.

The door clicked shut, and for a moment, silence filled the hallway.

“You okay?” Matt asked, his face softening as he looked at me.

I nodded, though my heart was still thumping. “Yeah.. Thanks for that.”

Matt shrugged. “No problem. Guy’s a fucking loser.”

I displayed a small smile, but the feeling of the encounter lingered. Ethan may have left, but his shadow loomed, reminding me that he wasn’t out of my life just yet.

As we walked up the stairs at the front door, the sound of voices and footsteps echoed from the garage staircase. A second later, Chris, Nick, and Nate appear in the living area, their laughter bouncing off the walls.

Chris stopped mid laugh when he saw us standing there, his gaze flicking between Matt and me. “What’s going on?” he asked, his tone curious.

a/n: protective matt unlocked

taglist : @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel  @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @chrisstxrnsaxe @sophand4n4 @vickytaa @marrykisskilled @bxtchboy69 @yourfavsturniologirl @julisturn @sydneyylainn @sophia-77n @trevorsgodmother @sturnslutz @yourmother29 @girl24cherry @astronea @pinkdyit

[sc0tters]

Toxic | Jack Hughes

summary: jack isn’t good for you so why is it that you still want him?

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, p in v, fingering, swearing.

word count: 4.88k

authors note: I’m gonna start with the warning that this was written in eight hours because I saw that Jack is back from his injury and I wanted to write for him! Low-key though Trevor has some competition for my favourites to write about in a toxic manner! There are a lot of flashbacks in this so those are regular italics!

If the phrase off limits had a picture next to it, for Jack it would have been of you.

You had been in his life since you were four when Luke threw a football right in your direction and ended up hitting your nose. Of course you fell to the road and somehow sitting in his family’s living room as you and Luke were both in tears ended up being the moment that set you two on the course to being best friends.

Jack spent the next thirteen years getting to know you as Luke’s friend. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t hate you, the boys all got on with you. Hell Trevor definitely tried his luck at making a move on you and with each time that he failed it only became the laughter of his teammates and friends. Jack had grown so comfortable with you that even as your boobs came in and your skin became clear that he cursed himself for letting those thoughts come into his head of you in the end of the night. When there was nothing in his room besides for his hand and the memories of how good you looked in the little bikinis you brought to the lake house each year.

He thought he could get by just having to see you during the summers but of course you just had to end up doing a graphic design course in New Jersey and with the unruly dorm fees. You were also in need of a roommate and as luck seemed to have it, Jack had a spare room which your moms came together swearing it had to be yours.

The first few weeks were smooth sailing, you were out studying most nights which meant that you never had to be home for the various girls that he had over. That was until November came around and as Jersey grew colder you found yourself staying home more often than not. Girls didn’t enjoy seeing you of all people sat on the couch curled up in a blanket until Jack would just say “she’s just my roommate.”

The first few times you heard it you were fine. All you were ever meant to be to a guy like Jack was his brothers friend. Yet somehow you began to find yourself growing frustrated at the sound of moans echoing through the apartment as his headboard hit the wall of his room. At first you swore you were more so annoyed with yourself and the fact that you really thought that you could have had something with him.

Because yes, you accepted the offer in New Jersey over Michigan because you thought that it could make things change between you two. But by the time February came around you realised you were sexually frustrated too. That’s how you and Jack ended up in what seemed like a constant pissing match after he came home early from a road trip to hear you in your room.

Jack let his back drop to the floor quietly as he thought you would have been sleeping “right there please!” Your moans made him freeze as he saw the light in your room still on beneath the crack of your closed door “gonna make me come Jacky.” Jack smirked to himself as his cock began to harden “you like that pretty girl?” Jackson, otherwise known as Jacky and the captain of your colleges hockey team ended up giving you a ride home from the game that night.

The Hughes boy swore in that moment that he never knew of something having the power to break a man’s hard-on as quickly as that did “that roommate of yours ain’t home so you can be as loud as you want.” The blonde in front of you let out a grunt and if your moans weren’t encouraging him to increase his tempo he would have heard the noise of Jack slamming his door shut as he now needed a cold shower.

Of course the two Jack boys had to meet the next morning and Jackson turned into a fanboy which only seemed to frustrate you more. Jack wasn’t meant to enjoy this, but his smirk as he’d listen to whatever guy you brought home confess to how much of a fan they were told you otherwise. To make matters worse Jack was still bringing these girls home and you truthfully thought that after four months of having to listen to it you were finally getting a break.

That summer before you came into your sophomore year you came up with your plan as you were still living with Jack. Numerous different options seemed to come up in your mind as you spent your time at the lake house. Yet as the nights spent by the fire were fuelled by lingering glances over the burning embers, you knew what you were going to do.

The first time you got the chance to enact your plan was actually in November. It was shortly after your birthday and as Jack was still single, you were his date to all team events.

The boy had been waiting for what felt like years as he scrolled through his phone “we’re going to be late y/n!” He groaned looking up to still not see your door open “well I’m sorry that when you want to look this good it takes time Hughesy.” You teased clipping your hoops into place as you opened your door to see his unamused face.

Jack didn’t need to say anything because his facial expressions did it all for you “okay what’s wrong?” You crouched down to do up your heels around your ankles “you need to go change.” Jack grumbled as he shook his head, staring at how your body looked with the tight white strappy top that had been paired with your black floor length skirt that had a slit up over your knee.

It made you roll your eyes “relax I’m wearing a jacket.” You grumbled grabbing your leather jacket from off of the couch “so are you coming or do you want to be even later?” As the boy stayed stuck to the couch he let his eyes travel to your face.

The car ride had been long as it let your nerves increase. Jack wasn’t shy about letting his eyes undress you in the car “you dressing up for anyone?” His question came out as he let his lack of a filter get the best of him “just f’me.” You shook your head watching him park the car.

Just like always he came to your door and helped you out “you jealous?” You teased not missing how his grip tightened around your waist at your words “of one of those little hockey fans you love sleeping with?” Jack laughed as he shook his head.

Your cheeks reddened as you two walked into the venue “you need some better guys than that to get me worried.” He kissed your temple capturing the attention of Dawson who had you pushing Jacks arm off of your waist “where are you going?” The middle Hughes boy felt his eyes go wide seeing the smile form on your lips.

The fellow center began walking over to you both “thought you didn’t care about the guys I get with.” Jack swore you were trying to kill him as you went to hug Dawson “Jack letting your girl get the night off?” Jesper teased pulling the American into a hug as he was already drunk.

It made Jack scowl as he watched you get pulled away by Dawson who was already motioning over the bartender so he could order you a drink “she’s not my girl.” Jack clenched his hands into fists as he shook his head “so Merc really can make a move on her.” The Swede didn’t notice how the younger boy rolled his eyes.

Two painfully long hours had to go by and as Jack got up leaving his older teammates you couldn’t help but follow him “I’ll be right back okay.” You squeezed Dawsons hand as you sent him a smile.

You were like a needy puppy as you practically ran out of the room. Without Jack in sight you went in the direction of the bathroom where you thought he was. The bathrooms were organised by three different doors: family, female, male. So as you thought you’d be going to the last one you let out a yelp as you were pulled through the first door.

The wall that met your back was cold as the door behind you locked “finally grew tired of your new fucking boyfriend huh?” Jack grumbled keeping his hands on gone sides to keep you trapped in “thought you didn’t.” Your voice turned breathy when his lips hovered over yours.

His smirk made your thighs push together until his knee forced itself between your legs “nuh uh princess.” He clicked his tongue as he shook his head “thought I didn’t want?” Jack waited for you to continue talking before he moved.

If you were a cartoon smoke would have been coming out of your ears as your brain practically short circuited “thought you weren’t interested in who I went for.” You stammered over your words as you gasped “think you need to get your eyes tested then sweetheart.” The hockey player clicked his tongue letting his lips nip at your neck.

You whimpered as your hands pressed against the his shirt “because I’m fucking obsessed with you.” You couldn’t help but laugh as you heard him say that “so those girls were all just for your own amusement or some shit?” You scoffed as you shook your head.

If Jack was anyone else they might have fallen for this strong act “so you enjoy listening to how good I made them feel?” He kissed the shell of your ear as his ego was soaring seeing how responsive you were being “don’t be shy baby, I can feel how wet your pants are.” Your head snapped down to see how your were unintentionally grinding on his knee.

Your cheeks were painfully warm as he looked at you “I’ll tell a secret first.” Jack took your silent as he continued to talk “when you bring guys over I picture it’s me getting you off.” It wasn’t a total lie, in fact Jack would actually use the time to listen to your moans as he’d wrap his hands around his cock thinking it was you.

Jack continued to kiss your neck as he let his lips move to your jaw “like thinking it’s you holding my vibrator.” You confessed making Jack smirk “do I let you come?” the question came far too boldly for your comfort.

Your mind thought about the moments that you’d edge yourself all night “n-never.” You shook your head making him smile as he ran his finger down the center of your shirt traveling to the valley between your breasts “think I should change that then.” When his proposal was met with your moans he finally kissed your lips.

The kiss was hot practically sucking the air from the room as his hands tugged at your hair. He couldn’t help but grin into the kiss as your nails raked at his lower torso “when you think it’s me princess what am I doing?” He ran his thumb over your lower lip “you use your.” You looked down to the trailing digit in front of your skin.

Jack taunted you as it made your skin grow wet with sweat “my knee or?” Jack trailed off as you shook your head “think about your fingers.” His cock was close to ripping the seams of his boxers “what am I doing with them?” The hockey player ran his finger over your clit as he teased your clit over your panties.

It became clear that you were going to have to guide him through all of this “fucking me real good.” You nodded biting your lip as you felt him begin moving your panties to the side “like against this door?” Your eyes screwed shut as you felt his fingers thrust into your cunt “you really are a dirty little slut.” Jack taunted feeling your wall hug his fingers.

His lips locked with yours as his fingers settle in a consistent pace “this how it feels?” The middle brother asked propping his other hand up on the other side of your shoulder “better.” You nodded pursing your lips together as you wanted to kiss him again.

The squelching noises made your eyes flutter “you wanted another finger?” The offer made you moan “more?” You pleaded feeing your thighs begin to give out “gonna give you all that you want.” Jack nodded letting his lips suck at your jaw sure to leave a mark tomorrow.

His hand lay flat with the addition of the third finger hitting your clit “you’re gonna make me-” you groaned letting your head drop in front of you “you wanted to come princess then you’re gonna have to fucking beg.” His words threw you off guard as you weren’t in the space to argue with him.

Your breasts throbbed against your bra “please Jack.” You whimpered as tears formed in your eyes “‘m done with all those other guys for you.” Your offers were things far too great for Jack to ever care about “I’m yours.” That was the thing, he didn’t care that you were his, especially when he wasn’t yours.

Jack ran his tongue over your lips as he kissed you once more “let go baby.” He announced muffling his words as he swallowed your moans as your cunt clenched around his fingers almost trapping his movements in that moment.

The room seemed to slow down as your breathing regulated itself “wow.” You huffed feeling him pull his fingers from your pussy “taste yourself f’me doll.” The boy tapped his fingers on your lips before you took them swirling your tongue around his thick digits.

The relationship that you two had formed carried on until April, mere days before Luke was coming. You had constantly found yourself in his bed and he in yours at the end of each night. It sounded stupid but you two were everything that a couple was just only from the comfort of your apartment. Things were okay, they weren’t ideal but you just thought that it was the best to protect Luke.

That was until you got home early from a girls night out. No amount of alcohol was going to have prepared you for what you were about to see. But after you watched your friends all leave with guys you thought it was best to go home to yours.

Your head throbbed as your feet were sore from your heels “Jack you will not believe-” you cut yourself off as your world fell apart in that moment. Jack had a blonde woman on top of him as she rode him “oh my god.” You brought your hand to your mouth as you didn’t know what to do.

The girl was the first to snap “I thought your roommate was out tonight.” She grumbled as Jack stuck his head around his side to lock his eyes with yours “she was meant to be.” He glared at you.

All of a sudden you began wondering when Jack had been seeing over girls. Was it on roadtrips? Times he said he was out with the boys?

She cleared her throat bringing you back to reality “right sorry.” You apologised shutting the door as you were overwhelmed with emotions. It wasn’t that you were embarrassed that you had walked in, but instead it was the fact that you were foolish enough to think that you guys could go somewhere.

In that state you ran to your room shoving as much as you could into suitcases as you needed to get out of there. What you hadn’t told Jack was that you had signed the lease to an apartment last week. You wanted to stay for another few days but now you knew you needed to get out of there.

And that was exactly what you did. You left Jack quietly and only came back to the apartment when you knew he was on a roadie in order to get the rest of your things from his place. The only pro that came from this all was the timing, Luke was moving to town and he wanted to now take over your second bedroom.

The middle Hughes boy did little to let his brother see how surprised he was when your things were all gone. Truthfully he swore you didn’t have the strength to leave him. It had been three months of pure sex with what he thought had zero attachments. Yet when he saw the shocked look on your face he knew you felt otherwise. So when you didn’t show up to the lake house that year, Jack realised that you were avoiding him.

So he’d spend his nights in his bed watching the new updates that came through your Instagram. You were in Canada spending your time in Calgary after you had been in Australia with some raven haired boy. From what Jack could see he was too close to you to just be his friend.

Jack had squeezed as many answers out of Luke as he could before he grew suspicious of what was going on. It meant that the center had to wait for his return to New Jersey to finally get to meet this man.

Luke didn’t realise how hard it would be to convince you to join him at an event. But when your new boyfriend Parker was out of town you finally didn’t have any excuses. So that was how Luke convinced you to stay at the apartment when it was his turn to host a party after a big win.

Luckily for you Jack seemed to ignore the fact that you were deep in a conversation with Nico as you two caught up about life “I should take this.” You sighed seeing Parker’s contact appear on your screen.

The captain smiled watching you sneak through the crowd back to your bedroom “hey baby!” Parker’s gleaming tone shot through your phone as you sat on your bed.

You tucked your hair behind your ear as you smiled “thought you were in a meeting?” You saw him clearly in his hotel room in the middle of the day “we had a break.” He spoke awkwardly as he clearly looked to the wall behind his phone.

Parker was quick to change the subject as he ran his fingers through his hair “so is Jack being good?” Yes you had told him about the fact that you and Jack were once roommates who now no longer spoke to each other “he hasn’t spoken to me.” You shrugged seeing the picture of you with the Hughes boys on one of your earliest trips to the lake house that was on your bedside table.

You fiddled with your ring “but how is your conference?” You began to notice that Parker wasn’t even looking at you anymore “baby I need to go.” He didn’t even give you enough time to respond before the screen went back to only showing you your reflection.

As a sigh left your lips you learnt you weren’t alone “you know he’s cheating on you right?” Jack crossed his arms as he leaned against your doorframe “because such a good reference of warning?” You laughed as you shook your head not believing his words.

That seemed to be all it took for him to shut your door as he let it lock “tell me princess, does he make you feel as I do?” Jack slowly walked over to you before he finally sat on the edge of your bed “what kind of question is that!” Your cheeks were red as your mouth fell open.

It made him laugh “one that has a clear answer.” The hockey player quipped back as you shook your head “my sex life is no longer your business Hughes.” You spat as you got up letting your face turn into a snarl “we were never exclusive doll.” The pet names for you rolled off of his tongue.

Yet now it only seemed to make you feel sick “Jack I really fucking thought we were so I’m sorry if I’m a little hurt that I had to walk in on-” your voice broke as a notification came onto your phone reminding you of the fact that you were with someone else now “what made you so mad?” Jack was pushing you for an answer as he towered over you.

As you thought you had so much to say it in fact turned out that you could have forgotten how to speak English “she fucking controlled you okay!” In the few months that you guys had slept together not once did Jack let you be in charge, even as you sucked him off he was the one with his hands in your hair controlling your movements and all.

Jack stopped as he let a smirk form on his lips “this was stupid.” You sighed as you shook your head “control me tonight.” The words fell from his lips letting gravity pull them down to earth as you froze “I have a boyfriend.” You were quick to remind him as his hands cupped your cheeks.

It brought you back to that night in the bathroom as he let his eyes dance between your lips and eyes “who we should have established is cheating on you.” Jack quipped back as he saw you go quite genuinely contemplating this “I’m in charge?” You asked as you sucked at your teeth.

All Jack needed to do was nod before you wrapped your arms around his neck so you could kiss him. This was by far the messiest kiss you had ever had as teeth clashed together. Your fingers tugged through the ends of his hair as it was clearly beginning to grow “I need you.” You pleaded hearing Luke’s voice from the hall as he had gone to his bedroom.

The Hughes boy smiled “you have me.” With that all of your clothes quickly ended up on the floor in one quick flash. The piles merged together as your red panties ended up in Jacks pile and he was going to be sure to take them home as a memory from the night.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you saw him just stand there “you’ve got to tell me how you want me doll.” Jack smiled as he took in the sight of your naked body.

There wasn’t much that he had missed out on but somehow his eyes still scanned it as though he had forgotten any information “need you on my bed.” Your order was soft and it made the boys heart melt at how you clearly weren’t used to this “I have a condom in my wallet.” Jack knew how you were against raw sex and he had always respected that as he also wasn’t in the mood to become a dad just yet.

You found his wallet and with that the old Polaroid picture that he had taken with his hand around your throat. It was a relatively soft picture seeing as each other option showed your face, this one just had your lower lip “you been thinking about me pretty boy?” You asked with a soft smirk on your lips.

The Polaroid was twirled in your fingers as he nodded “all the damn time.” Jack watched the Polaroid get replaced with the condom wrapper in your hands. The foil glistened as the city light hit it as you ripped the package open.

It seemed that all of the air in the room dissipated as you rolled the condom over his cock “you sure about this Jack?” You were halfway through straddling him as your hips were in the air “god please do it before I start fucking you.” He groaned pressing his head against your headboard.

A smile formed on your face as you didn’t know if you were amused or turned on “need some help getting me ready.” You rasped taking your hand around his covered cock as you drove the head down your slit spreading your wetness as it helped make his boner harden “you feel so ready.” Jack groaned feeling your free hand pinch at his skin.

His chest helped you centre yourself as you slowly let your cunt swallow his cock “fuck me!” You whined letting your eyes screw shut as your thighs hit his hips.

Jack leaned forward to kiss your lips helping you open your eyes once more “want me to help guide you through this?” You nodded as he tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear “just follow my lead okay?” Jack let his chest fall back as he grew comfortable placing his hands on your hips.

The movements started off slowly, in this up down sort of manner “faster.” You cooed wanting to bring your hands down to play with your aching nipples as your breasts bounced with each movement.

If the boy wasn’t under you he would have laughed “put your hands on my chest and take the reins.” He whispered softly nodding as you listened.

Your hands found their placement on either side of his chest as you love to him for reassurance “ride me like that bull in Calgary.” You realised that it meant he had seemed you Instagram stories as you had ended up at the stampede and one hungover morning you guys all went to ride a mechanical bull.

Jack was the first to moan as you began grinding your hips back and forth occasionally letting them rotate “can’t believe I didn’t make you do this sooner.” He grumbled to himself still keeping his hands on your sides.

Skin slapping echoed through the room and neither one of you were sure that you wouldn’t get caught “because you had other girls doing it.” You quipped back letting your tongue slice the words with venom.

It seemed to be something that Jack enjoyed as his cock throbbed from inside your cunt “had me to be your fucking late night and morning pus-” you were cut off as his hand came down on your ass with a sharp smack.

His eyes turned into a glare “at least I’m not the one currently cheating.” You went quiet as his words came out, he was right. You were the bad person there, not him.

Jack continued to help your thrusts as he let his one hand move to your clit “you were always so fucking mouthy until I fuck you dumb and make you come.” The hockey player spat as he let out a scoff.

All you could do was moan “I’m sorry.” All you wanted was for the coil that was quickly forming in your stomach to burst as your legs began to shake “I need it.” You added quickly beginning to plead with him.

The hockey player laughed “with the way you act I shouldn’t even let you come.” With the way your cunt currently clenched around his cock he knew he wasn’t going to last overly long “but he probably doesn’t even fuck you right because you know it’s me that owns this pussy.” Jack had always been possessive in bed as he watched you bob your head.

Your nails began to rake at his chest “you have me Jack.” You could have been screaming at the point “all of me.” Jack felt his orgasm hit him like a truck in that moment and as his movements turned sporadic it triggered your own orgasm “shit shit shit!” Your body shook as you ended up collapsing into his chest.

You both laid there for a moment as you caught your breath and rolled off of him letting his softening cock hit his torso “just shut your door on the way out.” You mumbled not wanting to look at the boy as you knew what was coming.

But instead Jack rolled you over to face him “you kicking me out?” He had to say that he was surprised that you had it in you to do that “just saving you the trouble.” You explained as you knew what he was like.

Which was why you let out a squeal as you felt him pull you into his arms “I’m not leaving you.” Jack shook his head as he smiled “not again.” He placed a chaste kiss on your head as he carried you into the bathroom placing you into the bath.

The next morning he had gotten up before you and has he heard your phone confine you go off he couldn’t help but grow frustrated. Jack leaned over to see that Parker had been spamming you as he got all irritated that you hadn’t responded to his messages.

So like any normal guy, Jack just had to respond.

You: hey bro, it’s Jack here. thought you should know that she no longer requires you in her life so fuck off.

[velvet-vox]

Why Doll perfectly exemplifies all of the strengths and flaws of Murder Drones as a series.

From the amount of posts present on my blog about the specific individual, it is rather obvious to assume that Doll Yurikova (I'm still convinced the fandom made up this surname) is my favourite character from Murder Drones and you wouldn't be wrong.

She just simply tickles my needy scratch for weird, cool complex villainess characters.

However, eventually I also realised that she more than any other character embodies everything that makes murder drones a great show and everything that detracts the show from being genuinely amazing.

Let's start off with the good, anything I say applies to the both of them:

Doll/Murder drones are generally cool, unconventionally attractive, have great potential (this point will be elaborated upon) and are very complex in both the themes that they bring to the table and the philosophical standpoints discussed.

Coolness factor is mostly subjective, but I am sure any Murder drones fan will tell you that the sci-fi/horror/mystery/romance/comedy show about sentient cannibalistic robots who fight against eldritch atrocities with Portal 2-esque music is an absolute blast conceptually and visually. In the same way the russian robo vampire who was previously a cheerleader before deciding to commit cannibalism to avenge her dead parents has swarms of fans simping for her.

Unconventionally attractive is determined by unconventional people, said people also have rewatched the show seventeen different times.

Now, regarding the great potential, although I've also elaborated the previous points, this is one that will carry over when discussing the negatives of both the character and the show, but as for positive, you can just feel that Murder Drones is so much different from anything else you have ever watched, it truly gives me haunted Ghibli vibes in the way the story plays out. It could really be amazing. As for Doll, every time I watch her in the show up to her death I just get really sad thinking about what could have been if she had a redemption arc or just a better life in general.

Murder drones has abuse as his main theme and how it circulates into destructive chains and Doll is definitely one of the more interesting examples of said theme, being part of the abused and mauled drone designation that became an abuser herself. I say one of the more interesting examples because her story is fleshed out better than someone else's, say Tessa or Alice.

And now for the negatives, we need to bring out the big elephant in the room:

The show is only 8 episodes long and they are writing the season one finale in the same way you would write a series finale since making Murder drones costs Glitch a crap ton of money when they could just lower the animation quality and allow the story more time to breathe (mind you this is also Liam Vickers fault). I just hate the 8 episodes 20 minute long formula, it has, in my opinion, destroyed modern show telling and I honestly can't bear it any longer.

Besides that, 8 episodes of 20 minutes means that Doll's arc has to be paced quickly in order to get all the other characters (particularly the main ones) and elements to shine and that unfortunately leads to the fact that both Doll and Murder drones lack the one thing that separates Doll from being a human being and Murder Drones from being an amazing show, and that thing is (drum rolls) the tissue.

To explain, they have the (exo)skeleton, the organs, the mandibles and all the things that would make a piece of fiction feel truly human, but without the connective tissue, the skin, they both end up just short of those standards and as a result I can't confidently say that they are truly evocative individuals. Tissue of course is a metaphor for quote on quote "filler" in regards to the show and "villain at rest" moments in regards to Doll and her arc. And let's talk about the ending of said arc because of its possibility of paralleling the conclusion of the show;

You can say a lot of things about Doll's death but one thing that's impossible to deny is the impact of her death in your mind, everything about its execution is just so brutal that it leaves you a lasting feeling in your body; in a similar manner, the show could end with an absolute gut punch that remains impressed in your mind for months to come.

Want more?

[vani-ash]

AHHH your kimchay post about kim pretending to be poor made me crack up so much!! <3

but can I just make a tiny tiny suggestion: how funny would it be if chay actually knew kim was pretending from the time in the restaurant?

at first chay's mad that kim is "tricking" him so he decides to keep pretending to see how long kim is going to keep the charade up. and kim just... keeps... pretending and like his horrible empty apartment confuses chay so much (maybe cuz he spots kim in a mall one day dressed in like designer clothes, stepping out of his fancy lamborghini so why does kim own an apartment in that horrid neighbourhood?) and in the process of pretending chay realises that kim is nothing like all the rich people he hates and he kind of ends up falling for his stupidly handsome face but like... how... is chay... going to break the news to kim that he's known all along that he's rich???!?

(so kimchay get locked in a mutual deception where neither of them realise the other knows the truth and can't tell each other because they've just gone on too long now. XD)

Original post

I'm glad you liked it anon! 🥰💛 i love the idea of Kim just constantly digging himself deeper unknowingly 😭😭😭

But I want Chay to be oblivious during the dinner but what if when they leave the restaurant Kim's like hey two secs the waiter needed to talk to me i'll be right back and Chay nods and then after a couples minutes decides he needs the bathroom so he goes and then when he comes out of the bathroom he over hears Kim and the waiter talking and the waiter is like 'of course Khun Theerapanyakul' and like bows and stuff and Chay's like (in his head) 'Theerapanyakul??? 🤨 isn't that that super rich family???'

anyway he doesn't say anything right away and they end the date and its all cute and nice and Kim had been perfectly sweet this whole time and hasn't acted like any of the other rich assholes Chay had known so he lets it slide and he's willing to just cut Kim off after the date and ghost him.

So he goes a few days (weeks?) not replying to anything Kim sends him and Kim sends messages like 'I know youre probably working lots, make sure your eating well, miss you ❤️'

and then just as Chay came to terms with not seeing Kim again cause he did really enjoy being with Kim, he sees Kim at one of the high end shopping centers, luxury sports car, decked in high fashion clothing brands and expensive jewelry, Chay even sees that Kim has body guards??? Chay is glad he dogged that bullet he's sure Kim would've eventually turned into a rich asshole and it was just a trick.

But then Chay follows Kim for a little (at a distance. something that's plausible cause it is a giant shopping center) he watches Kim eat at one of the fancy cafes, he's polite to the servers, he even stacks the plates and stuff before leaving. (Chay thinks back to one of their dates where he took Kim to a fast food place and remembers how Kim seemed hesitant to eat it and ordered a small portion, at the time he thought it was cause Kim was broke but now he thinks its cause Kim probably hated the cheap fast food but he still ate it, for Chay.)

Someone accidentally walks into Kim at one point and Chay expects him to get mad and yell like every other rich asshole would, but he doesn't. The day continues like that. He sees Kim buy some make up and one of the shop keepers accidentally spills something on him and once again Chay expects Kim to get annoyed and berate them, but he doesn't.

Chay decides to finally respond to Kim. He watches Kim's face light up as he pulls his phone out and reads Chay's message, and now Chay feels bad about ghosting Kim so he gives an excuse about being sick or something and Kim texts back he'll come over and nurse Chay to health.

(Chay rushes home cause kim wouldnt take no for an answer and then when Kim does arrive in completely different clothes than what he was wearing at the shop and with no jewelry in sight Kim aslo gives Chay a gift that Chay had seen Kim spend about an hour going through the shop deliberating on buying, chay didnt know how much it cost but it was probably expensive but not something he would think was expensive if he hadn't seen the shop kim brought it from. He thinks Kim is even more adorable.)

And then Chay just never figures out how to tell Kim he knows Kim isn't poor. But every time he sees Kim act like it he has to hold in his laughter. The derelict apartment? The clear second hand clothes? Chay thinks how hard kim is trying to keep up this act is both endearing but also kinda frustrating. He regrets going on that rant about hating rich people cause he knows Kim probably feels like if he admits who he is or Chay will hate him, but also the longer Kim keeps it a secret the deeper a hole he thinks he's digging.

Chay knows he's gonna have to be the one to admit he knows but what if Kim gets mad Chay let him struggle to pretend to be poor?

Chay does set up little 'traps' for Kim to expose he's rich but also Kim is kinda oblivious and doesn't realise that what he just did outs him as rich so the game continues for way longer than it should

[cheeseceli]

Falling in Love [deeper than I've felt before]

Pairing: Hyunjin × gn!Reader

Genre: fluff, slowburn

Warnings: reader drinks alcohol at some point, not proofread.

Request: part 2 of Moving On but can be read individually

a/n: it took a while to go to the plot but i promise y/n moves on lmao; the ending is a bit rushed? But creativity had left me sadly. Also this was posted accidentally so I'm so sorry if there is something which seems off

The day has come. And you still can't believe how dumb you were from accepting the invitation to go to your ex's wedding.

You were going straight to the biggest heartbreak you'd ever have, but there was no turning back now. You said you would be in the damn party so you will be there.

"Seriously Y/n, I think you shouldn't go." Yeji, a friend of yours, said while helping you figure out something to wear "Just tell him that you were sick or something. I can lie to him if you want"

"I said I'd be there and I'm not one to break a promise."

"It's barely a promise. He admitted himself that it would be awkward, it's better if you skip it. You're just torturing yourself at this point"

"I'm going. Besides, maybe that's what I need to finally move on. It's been 3 years already. I need that."

Yeji sighed. She openly disagreed with your point of view, there should be another way of moving on without shattering your heart into pieces, but she wouldn't insist anymore.

"We have some hours until the wedding. Let's go to the mall, we need something good for you to wear" she got up from the edge of your bed "unless you wanna go in pajamas."

And that's how, four hours later, you were fully prepared to the wedding. Even though you looked great, you still felt a pain in your chest because of the price you spent. The situation was starting to become a little ridiculous, you couldn't believe you wasted so much money on an outfit you'd never wear again because it'd probably bring a lot of bad memories.

This better have a good outcome.

But deep inside you were happy that Yeji made you put some effort in how you'd look because the place was beautiful. The decoration was really enchanting, with a lot of white and green flowers and you could even hear the sound of a piano. It looked like the wedding was designed to fit a disney princess' movie.

The guests were also gorgeous. Some of them were still your friends while some were "ex-friends", as you lost contact with them after the break up. There were a lot of people you didn't know there, friends and family of Changbin's partner you assumed. It looked like you could actually enjoy the night if it wasn't for the current scenario.

You ended up sitting in the table with all the other Itzy girls and for some moments you were able to forget the bad feeling in your chest. That was until the ceremony started.

Needless to say that you cried during the vows. They were so happy, Changbin was happy. At the same time that your heart was aching, you felt a a weight out of your shoulders. It was like you were finally given the chance to set free from your past and not be attached to it anymore.

Changbin wouldn't come back. You shouldn't wait for him.

It was less painful than what you originally thought. Seeing how he cried after seeing his partner and how he didn't hesitate to kiss them, you could even feel happiness. I'm happy you're happy at last. That's how you were able to clap and celebrate for the now married couple, along the rest of the guests.

Now, of course, you needed to drink. Realisation was still sinking in and you couldn't say congratulations to the couple while being sober. That's why you went straight up to the bar once people started to dance and sat down in the first free chair you could find.

"Y/n?"

You looked to the side and saw Hyunjin. The fact that sooner or later one of the stray kids members would show up slipped of your mind and you were actually surprised for seeing the boy in front of you. Even though you were still friends with Changbin, you barely talked to the kids. The last time you saw Hyunjin was two years ago, you think. He got even prettier, you noticed.

"Hey" you finally reply "it's been a while."

"I know right? Wasn't expecting to see you here though."

"I wasn't supposed to be here I guess... I might be leaving soon"

It seemed that Hyunjin understood the circumstances, it was reasonable your urge to leave. But at the same time, the night had just started and it's been a pretty long time since you last talked to everyone. They missed you. He missed you.

"At least have a drink with me" he proposes, already calling the bartender "I wanna know what you've been into." How could you say no?

So you and Hyunjin drank together while catching up with each other and God, you did miss a lot. Hyunjin was talking about every show they attended to while you gossiped about a drama that was happening in your work place. He showed pictures of his paintings while you showed pictures of your pets. He even gave you a minor spoiler of their next comeback. You laughed a lot during some hours.

While you were telling him about the last trip you did with some of your friends, a different song started playing and everyone got out of the center of the room. You looked at the commotion to find out it was when the just married couple begun their dance. You were observing them, so you failed to notice Hyunjin's gaze on you and his little smile. He truly missed you.

"Are you guys okay?"

You looked at him, taking a while to understand what he meant. By the time you comprehended it, he regretted and tried saying "I'm sorry, shouldn't have asked".

"We're okay" you answered "we should be at least."

"No hard feelings? Were you able to, you know, move on?"

"I'm moving on as we speak. I think this is my last chapter with him."

He was looking at you with curiosity. Like he actually wanted to understand your feelings, like he actually wanted to listen without judgements. So you kept explaining:

"Maybe I was ready for a while, I just didn't want to let go. I've never been good with changes. I just didn't want to lose the possibility of everything being fine without any change." you grew consciously of the man's attention on you, so you tried to brush it off by laughing "Sorry for the therapy session all of the sudden."

He giggled "Don't worry, I don't mind. I'm happy for you, to be able to keep going. Happy for both of you."

The dance was close to an end and everyone was cheering, but Changbin and his partner looked like they were in their own world, lost in each others embrace and smile. You could see their love in their eyes. That's what they deserved.

"I am happy too."

You were being genuine. Its like another weight was lifted off you. You were slowly collecting the pieces of your heart and putting them together. You were healing.

When the newlyweds finished their first dance as a married couple, the guests applauded in joy and went back to the dance floor when another song started playing. Hyunjin drank the last sip of the drink he ordered and stood up. You didn't want to admit but you were kinda disappointed that he was already going. You started to wonder if you had said anything wrong or said too much, that was until he offered his hand to you with a smile.

He saw your confused expression and explained it clearly“Let's dance. You're not planning on staying in this bar for the whole night, are you? ”

“I am, actually. Besides I'm going home soon, there's no need to-”

“C'mon Y/n. ” he interrupted you while moving forward to hold your hand “You cannot come to a wedding party and not dance to at least one song. I promise I'll stop bothering you after this.”

Hesitantly, you held his hand back and got up.

“Was my offer to stop bothering you so tempting? You're even smiling” he said, making you laugh.

“Shut up.”

The room was filled with couples and friends. You didn't notice that the song that was playing, falling in love by cigarettes after sex, required a slow dancing. You just noticed it after Hyunjin was really close to you, holding your waist with both hands and smiling dearly for you. You soon placed your hands in his shoulder.

“You weren't so bold before, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“Normally you wouldn't invite someone to dance, you were always kinda shy. I remember I begged you to dance with me in my own birthday party and still you denied.”

“That was when I was a trainee, how do you even remember that?”

“Oh it made me cry for weeks”

He laughed, bringing you closer to him. You guys were barely dancing, you were just hugging each other and swinging from side to side.

“Were you always this dramatic?”

“You're one to talk.”

“Well...” Hyunjin said before sighing, like he was wondering what words to use for what he was about to say.“we can say that I regret not accepting your invite to dance back then. And who knows when I'll have another opportunity.”

You were the shy one now. You really didn't expect to Hyunjin to be so bold, even though he didn't say nothing considered too much and you probably were analysing to deeply. Trying to not blush, you decided to light the situation: "I say it was the alcohol that made you so straightforward."

"Oh that helped of course" he laughed. And you kept talking the most random things while being on each other's arms, dancing to a love song like it was something casual. When the first song came to an end, he was ready to say goodbye to you, even though that was the last thing he wanted in the moment.

"I don't mind dancing for another song" you said. You don't know what made you change your mind so quickly, but then you saw his smile and understood the change of heart. That smile was worth a lot of dances.

You probably danced for more than two hours. In slow songs you'd just hug each other while talking about your life, in happy songs you would dance like crazy and proceed to judge those who were better than you and sometimes you'd just follow hyunjin's lead to try to follow a dance routine. You just stopped when Hyunjin was covered in sweat and your feet couldn't handle anymore. Then you both went to the bar, laughing like that was the funniest thing to ever happen on your life.

"Y/N!"

Looking to the side, you were met with Yeji. You noticed that her breath wasn't even, which meant that she was probably looking for you for a while now.

“You're still friends with Yeji?”

“Yeah, we still go out sometimes. Why?”

“Just wanted to know.”

“I was looking for you everywhere” Yeji was now right in front of you, breathing heavily “Me and the girls are going back to the dorms, we need to be up early tomorrow. Do you want to go with us?”

You searched for your cell phone, wondering what time it was. It was a little bit past midnight. You wanted to be there for more time, you felt like the night was just starting, but sadly the Itzy girls were your only ride back home. That meant you needed to go now.

You glanced at Hyunjin, who was looking at with expectation. For a second you thought that he was trying to convince you to stay for a bit longer, to enjoy the night with him. But it couldn't be this, right? So you just brushed it off.

“Well, I'll be going then” he gave you a small smile, but he was averting his eyes, trying to not look directly at you, but still he got closer to hug you goodbye “I hope to see you around.”

“Don't go missing this time.”

You laughed at his little joke and he giggled back. You believe it would've been easier to go away if he kept looking at somewhere else, but now his eyes were on you and you felt like you couldn't move. You truly wished the night could be longer.

You had your thoughts interrupted when Yeji faked a cough by your side, making you and Hyunjin both come back to reality and making you get away from his arms. Only then you started to walk away, trying to not look as much as you could.

“Bye Hyunjin.”

He just nodded his head, trying to not say bye. You and Yeji started to walk away, saying goodbye to the ones you'd find in your way.

"Oh wait" you remembered your friend "I still have to congratulate Changbin and his partner, I didn't get the chance to do that earlier."

"They were talking to his parents last time I saw them. Do you feel better?"

"Kinda? I mean, it will take a while to be 100% over this but I already feel a weight off my shoulders."

Yeji smiled and, even though she didn't say anything else, you could see she was happy for your growth. Now you could only wish you would heal and find yourself in a better situation from now on. Maybe you could fall in love again, deeper than you've felt before.

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[starrgaziinggg]

SMAU | UNDERCOVER JYP-U

➴ chapter three -> renounce the feud (written - 6k words)

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"SO HELP ME GOD!"

The sun was shining, your suitcases were finally unpacked - and yet for some reason, you were not in a great mood.

"FUCK my whole life," you hear Ryujin shout again, practically rattling the walls of your dorm. Although you adored your best friend, she had no sense of volume control. "She's packed the wrong sheet, oh my Lord."

"What the hell is the problem?" You groan, walking out the door to your bedroom and into Ryujins, which was to the right of yours. It was a blessing in disguise opting for a five person room this year, since each person got their own bedroom. You'd had no idea the three bed rooms were just that: a three bed room, when you signed up for the dorms last year.

"My mother has packed her extra bed sheet instead of mine," Ryujin complains, flopping onto the floor in exasperation, her black hair sprawling around her head. "I bet this is a ploy so she can come back and visit."

"That's cute," you say condescendingly, gently nudging her lifeless form with your foot. "You can use my spare sheet until she brings your one back."

"What a gem," Ryujin grins, heaving herself into a sitting position. "What's the time, Mr Wolf?"

You tap your phone so that it displays the time. "Just after 12pm. We should probably head to the courtyard."

Ryujin nods, huffing as she stands up. You take a look at her current appearance, as if she's just rolled out of bed, and raise an eyebrow.

"What?" She asks, crossing her arms.

"This is supposed to be your time for making a good impression on the freshman," you say, tilting your head. "Go change."

"Yes, mum," she replies, rolling her eyes and chucking a pillow in your direction. You laugh as you walk out her room, bumping into someone as you walk into your communal living space.

"Fuck," the unknown entity mutters, dropping her bag on the ground. As you go to pick it up and hand it to her, you realise the brown haired girl in front of you must be Lia - the transfer and student body for art and design.

"Oh, hi," you say with a welcoming smile, giving over the fallen bag. "You must be Lia."

"Oh, god - sorry for being such a mess," she laughs nervously, fiddling with her long brown hair. "My train here was delayed so I'm a bit behind a schedule."

"No worries," you say, trying to put the obviously stressed girl in front of you at ease. "It's nice to meet you! Have you got all your stuff?"

"Yeah, but I'll just unpack later - I need to set up the exhibition," she says, and you nod in understanding. Each department at your school for the arts holds a special introductory something or other, to welcome the freshman into the school and have a day to relax before school starts. Since you were the student body for dance this semester, you'd been put in charge of the bake sale.

"No worries, Ryujin's in her room - she's doing the exhibition with you since she's the student body for film and photography, so she'll get you sorted," you explain, pointing in the direction of Ryujin's bedroom.

"Can you help me with these goodie bags, yn?" You hear Chaeryoung call through from her room, and you smile at Lia.

"Duty calls. I'll see you later?"

She gives you a grin and a wave and heads towards her bedroom, knowing that they were numbered. You make your way towards Chaeryoung's room, taking a minute to appreciate that you were rooming with your best friends this year. Last year, after making friends with Chaeryoung from your course and her friends, you'd hated the fact you didn't room with them.

"God, why did I make so many?" Your friend asks, staring at all the bags of baked goods she'd made. "We'll end up having to do two trips at this rate!"

You go to help her transport the goodie bags she made into the basket of transportation, realising that there was nowhere near enough space.

"You know what we could do?" You say, an idea popping into your head. Chae shrugs her shoulders. "Why don't we use that shopping cart that the boys stole last semester. Would make moving all this stuff so much easier - we've still got the stuff I've made to take too."

"That's...actually not a bad idea. Do they even still have that thing?" Chae laughs, remembering the cart stealing incident. For some reason, a drunken night out had ended with Jeongin getting wheeled home in a stollen shopping trolly by Minho, which ultimately led to him breaking his arm. He had to play piano one handed for months.

"To my knowledge, yeah. I'll text Lino and ask," you say, pulling out your phone to send him a text. He replies almost instantly, telling you they've still got it and will be wheeling it to yours in ten minutes.

They arrive shortly later, once you and Chaeryoung have gathered all the food you'd made to the front door of your dorm. Luckily, your dorm was on the bottom floor, so it wouldn't take too much man power.

"You've made enough cakes to feed a nation," Minho laughs with a raised brow when you open the door for him, eyeing up all of the bakes in-front of him. You roll your eyes, taking a step forward.

"Nice to see you again too, dick face," you say, going in to give him a hug. He cautiously reciprocates it, moving away from you afterwards. "How was your summer?"

"Same old. Got a killer tan on holiday," he says, blinking in your face as if to show off his gorgeous skin tone. You scoff.

"Yeah yeah, come help me with this shit," you say, moving out of his way so he can get the stolen shopping cart in your dorm. It was a rather unfortunate moment for Chaeryoung and Lia to emerge, after getting to know each other whilst getting their things ready for orientation day. Lia eyes up the shopping cart.

"You own a shopping trolly?" She asks, confusion written on her face. Chaeryoung laughs, moving towards Minho to give him a fist bump.

"They stole it after a night out one time," you explain, shaking your head at your friends antics. "This is Minho. Minho, this is Lia - a transfer from Canada, and the student body rep for art."

"Nice to meet you," he says with a polite nod, starting to fill up the cart with food. "You're on the art course?"

"Yeah," she answers with a smile.

"What made you switch uni's?" Minho asks, and you turn to her after starting to help to hear the answer too.

"My dad switched positions in his company. Plus, JYP-U is, like, infamous for being the best school for the arts, so I thought it would be nice for a change," she answers, grinning the whole time. You decide you quite like her - your dorm could use another cheerful person.

"You remind me of Yuna," Minho says, being surprisingly nice. "You're both super smiley. Where is she, by the way?"

"Yuna's still travelling," Chaeryoung answers, loading up the last of her things and making a start on yours. "Since she lives super far it takes her ages, she should be here any minute now, though."

And as if on queue, your blonde headed friend makes her way into your dorm, hauling her suitcases and squeezing past you all.

"I'm here, I'm here, calm down," she says dramatically, going straight into her room to dump her stuff and re-emerging. "Holy fuck I've got so much to do."

"Nice to see you too, Yuna," you laugh. "Introduce yourself to Lia."

She does just that, being her usual high energy self as she makes herself known to your new dorm mate. You leave her to it for now, finishing loading the shopping cart. Minho dusts his hands together.

"Right, that's one job done. Do you still need my assistance?" He asks.

You shake your head. "Not for the moment. All we need to do now is go to the courtyard and set up our stall, but Hyunjin and Felix should already be there, so they can help us. Thanks, though."

Minho smiles, turning around, but before he can escape your dorm Yuna grabs his arm.

"Nope! Not so quickly," she says, pulling him back through the doorway. He groans, giving Yuna a pout.

"What is it?" he says gruffly, tilting his head at her.

"Could you please, please, help me carry some of the stuff I need for the ice breaker session I'm holding in," she checks her watch. "LITERALLY one hour!"

Minho raises his eyebrows, and you shake your head as Yuna gives him puppy dog eyes.

"Pretty please?"

Of course, Minho gives in, because as much as he likes to pretend he hates everyone and everything, he has a soft spot for his friends. You bid your fair well to Minho and the girls, walking with Chaeryoung and your shopping cart through the masses of students on campus. Move in day meant everyone was hustling and bustling, freshman out with parents to walk round campus. It was a gorgeous day out, so you didn't blame them.

You spot Hyunjin and Felix by your stall in the courtyard - the huge open space in front of the main university building, the banner reading, 'DANCE BAKE SALE!', courtesy of Hyunjin. As much as that man irked you, you couldn't help but admit it was a blessing to have an artist help you for your events.

"Look what the cat dragged in," Hyunjin says lazily, resting against the stool behind him. As usual, he looks effortlessly handsome, his short dark hair hidden behind a cap. "Miss me?"

You scoff at him, moving to start putting your bake sale items on the table. "In your dreams. Hi Lix!" You say, turning your attention to the blonde boy in front of you. "How was your summer!"

"It was great, I missed you though," he says with a smile. "And you, Chae. How are you both?"

"Um, why does Felix get all this special treatment?" Hyunjin complains. "We're all supposed to be friends!"

"Maybe stop acting like a dick?" You say, though there's not much hostility in your tone. Chae laughs at you, shaking her head.

"The bake sale hasn't even started and you two are bickering," she comments. Hyunjin rolls his eyes, pulling a hand through his short dark hair.

"Yeah, well," he sighs. "Tell her to stop bullying me."

You look to Felix with an exasperated expression. "Tell him to lay off!"

"I'm not getting involved this time," Felix says cautiously, putting his hands up in surrender as Chae puts her arm in between you and Hyunjin.

"You - go stand over there with Felix," she says, moving Hyunjin to the opposite end of the table and taking her place beside Felix, sighing. "This is gonna be such a long day."

"You can say that again," you and Hyunjin both say in unison, making you roll your eyes.

It wasn't as if you and Hyunjin hated each other, or even really disliked each other. You'd been in the same friend group since the start of university, after all. But, being amongst the few on your course who received the top marks, you'd always kind of clashed heads. Favouring ballet as a dance style, your mindset was more rigid and structured, whereas Hyunjin had a more, 'go with the flow' attitude. Pairing up with your friends for assignments had meant Hyunjin always ended up in your group, and thus the bickering began.

Surprisingly, the bake sale ends up going much better than you'd expected. With Hyunjin as far away from you as possible (and his flurry of fangirls), the four of you managed to work well together. Minho showed up at some point half way through, but left as soon as he came, claiming he'd been recruited by Jeongin to help set up for the open mic night the music course was presenting. He didn't leave without stealing a brownie, though.

Since most of your friends had their own orientation events to oversee, the only other person who came to give some help was Seungmin, who had apparently gotten fed up of Minho and Jeongin's antics and needed a change of scenery.

By 4pm, all your cakes were sold out, and you were exhausted.

"That was a challenge," Chae breathes out as soon as you're finished counting up the money, whilst Felix, Hyunjin and Seugnmin start taking down the decorations on your stand. "But we made a tonne."

"Why were you guys doing a bake sale, anyway?" Seungmin asks, walking towards the two of you. "Everyone else did something to do with their course."

"The fake reason is that we wanted to greet as many students as possible, and interact with them more than just put on a show or something," Chaeryoung explains, organising the money and placing into a locked money box.

"What's the real reason?" He asks, giving you a knowing smile.

"None of us could be fucked dancing," you say truthfully, cracking a grin. "Plus, with the money we made, we can put it towards some better outfits for the end of year performance. They've been recycling the same grotty consumes for years now."

"Fair enough," Seungmin shrugs, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You coming to watch the showcase tonight?"

"Part of it, yeah," you answer. "We're planning on ditching after Jeongin opens the show and getting drunk."

Seungmin's smile falters as he raises an eyebrow. "Bad student."

"Hey!" you laugh, giving his arm a gentle punch. "We need to start the semester off with a bang."

"We do indeed," Hyunjin agrees, folding up the banner he had made. "You not joining us, Seungmo?"

Seungmin shrugs, taking his hand away from your shoulder. "Maybe. I want to make sure the open mic night goes well, though."

"Suit yourself," Hyunjin replies casually, helping Felix fold the table once Chaeryoung's taken the money box away. "Who's getting booze?"

"Ryujin's getting us some," Chae answers, looking towards you as you nod in agreement. "Chan mentioned he and Changbin would be getting some stuff too."

"Fab," Felix grins. "It's been so long since we all had a night together."

You smile back at him before saying your goodbyes and parting ways, catching up with the other girls and making sure their orientation events went as well as yours did. Regrouping back at your dorm, you all decide it's time to start getting ready for the night ahead. The five of you bring your makeup into the main living area, so you can chat whilst getting ready.

"It was great!" Lia replies when you ask her how her event went. "Ryujin and I oversaw the students arranging their work, and loads of people came to see - parents as well. I also met Chan, the president of the student body, and he was really nice."

"Maybe too nice," Ryujin interrupts, wiggling her eyebrows in a way that makes Lia's face turn red. You scold her, and she throws her arms up in defence. "What! I'm just saying it how I saw it."

"He was nice to be nice, that's all," Lia smiles, and Yuna nod's her head.

"That's our Chan. He's literally nice to everyone, it's just the way he is," she says. Lia gives Ryujin a look. "Remember in first year when Changbin had the flu and couldn't complete his mid arm assignment?"

"Oh yeah," You say with a fond smile. "Chan completed Changbin's assignment as well as his own and got them both an A."

"It was a nice moment until Yeji found out after we were talking about it at the dorm and threatened to tell the Dean," Ryujin rolls her eyes.

"Did Yeji go to your event?" Chae asks Ryujin as she playfully pushes Lia, turning her attention to Chae with an evil glare.

"No, thank god - she did not," Ryujin answers.

"Oh, I'm so glad we're still on the Yeji hate train," Yuna claps her hands together, turning her face in her mirror to check her makeup.

"Who's Yeji?" Lia asks, but the question goes unnoticed as the girls start squabbling. You turn to Lia, talking over the sound of argument.

"Yeji's on the music course. She used to room with Chae, Ryujin and Yuna but she was kind of a huge bitch," you answer.

"Guys," Chaeryoung says with a whine. "She's not even that bad."

"That's cause she was nice to you!" Ryunjin almost shouts, before toning her voice down. She sprays her face with setting spray before handing it to you so you can repeat the action. "I'm just saying, you guys knew each other way more than she knew us. She never gave you any snark."

"She gave me a tonne of snark," Yuna says, deadpan.

"Me too," you chime in, making Chaeryoung give you a look. "Sorry, my princess angel, but I too am on the train."

"Okay, okay, no more Yeji talk," Chae sighs, closing her foldable mirror and turning to face you. "On a different note, are you and Hyunjin ever going to give it up with your bickering?"

"They were at it again?" Yuna laughs, shaking her head as she gets up to go through to the small kitchen in your dorm.

"When are they not?" Ryujin answers, looking towards Chae. "I feel for you, having to put up with it so much."

"Sorry," Lia interrupts. "I'm still getting used to names. Who's Hyunjin?"

"Only the most gorgeous man that's ever walked the planet," Yuna says dreamily, coming back to the dorm with a bottle of alcohol and some glasses, passing them out. When she gets to Lia, she stops. "You drink?"

"Yes ma'am," Lia replies, taking the glass and letting Yuna fill it up. "He's really that good looking?"

"He's not my type," Ryunjin says, taking a sip of her drink once Yuna pours it. "But he is pretty much hand crafted by the gods."

"You'll have to point him out to me then," Lia giggles, turning to you. "Why don't you like him?"

"It's not that I don't like him," you say in an attempt to stay civil, but Chaeryoung has other ideas.

"Sure, and Changbin's a virgin," she scoffs, causing Ryujin and Yuna to crack up laughing. Changbin was kind of known for sleeping around, which was why Ryujin and him were on yet another break. Ryujin claimed this one was lasting, however you'd already bet Yuna that they'd get with eachother tonight.

"Anyway," you say, diverting the topic of conversation. "What are we all wearing tonight?"

It takes you all another two hours to get changed and finally leave for the music course showcase, having to practically shove Yuna out the door if you wanted to stand any chance of making it on time. Luckily, they boys save you a row of seats behind them, so although the outdoor campus theatre is mobbed - you still manage to get half decent seats.

You slide into a seat behind Jisung, giving him, Changbin and Chan a hug to say hi since you hadn't seen them yet. The stage remains empty, so you assume they haven't started yet.

"How did your event go?" You ask the boys in front of you. Chan gives you a grin, passing you what you assume is alcohol disguised in a sprite bottle. Although Chan was usually a stickler for the rules, he still knew how to have fun.

"Other than the fact it was mostly a bunch of fan girls, fine," Changbin says cockily, fist bumping Jisung. You take a sip of your drink, which is definitely full of alcohol, and turn to Chan for an explanation.

"Although it was mostly freshman on the course, a bunch of girls who like our music turned up to get a tour of our building," he tells you, ignoring Changbin and Jisung's smug looks. "We had to turn them away and say the tour was for campus students only."

"Damn," you chuckle, leaning back in your chair. "Look how popular you guys are getting!"

"Our fame is a blessing and a curse," Jisung says with a sigh, so you hit him lightly on the arm. "Hey!"

"Stay humble," you say, pointing at him with a glare. He rolls his eyes, turning to face the stage as the spot light turns on and Jeongin walks out onto the stage. Everyone starts clapping upon his entrance, and he gives off a cheeky half smile.

"Hi everyone!" He starts, grinning his usual toothy grin. "I'm Yang Jeongin, and if you don't already know me, I'll be the student body representative for the music course this semester!"

Another round of applause rifles through the audience, and Yuna moves towards you from your right to whisper in your ear.

"Cocky little shit," she laughs, which you reciprocate. You know Jeongin only acts all cocky of himself, pretending to be the big man. Being the youngest guy in your group meant he liked to show off.

"To start the showcase, we have a number of performances, and after that there will be an open mic that anyone can perform at," he explained, doing a great job of public speaking. As shy as he could be, he was good at putting on a show. "And with that, I'll stop rambling. Enjoy the night!"

He walks off stage with a wave and a smile, coming to join your group in the audience as the first musical performance starts. Ryujin leans past Yuna to get your attention.

"When are we dipping?" She whispers, trying not to talk too loudly and interrupt the performance.

"Dunno," you whisper back. "Ask Lino, it was his idea to ditch."

Ryujin catches Minho's attention, moving forward to whisper in his ear and moving back to you after he answers her.

"He says once this performance is finished we'll go to their dorm," she answers with a wink, and you hear Yuna sigh in relief. Being at a school for the arts meant you were constantly watching people perform, so it wasn't unusual for your group to peel off early.

Jeongin comes to join you all a couple minutes later, so you collectively take it as your queue to leave. Grabbing your belongings, you slide out of the row whilst the audience claps for the finishing act. Although the event wasn't mandatory, as the student body representatives your friends were expected to attend - and you did, at least for the first act.

You ignore the looks from the audience around you while fleeing from the outdoor auditorium, heading in the direction of Felix, Seungmin, Minho, Hyunjin and Jeongin's dorm. After being friends since infantry, Jeongin, Felix and Jisung (or the idiot trifecta, as they were referred to in your friend group) had ended up at the same university. Whether or not this was intentional, since those boys have been inseparable since birth, is undisclosed - but you could take a wild guess.

Ryujin had had to put up with them for as long as she could remember, considering they'd all grown up in the same hometown. Thus, you'd been introduced to their ever growing friend group after making friends with Chaeryoung and Felix from your dance course. You couldn't complain, since they'd very quickly become your closest friends after a year and a half, but god did they sometimes get on your nerves.

Take now for instance. You're all trying to sneak away peacefully, and Jisung is practically pouring liquor down Jeongin's throat, howling with laughter when the younger boy starts coughing.

"Shh!" Ryujin hisses. grabbing Jisung's arm. "The dean catches the student body downing alcohol on campus instead of watching the music event and we're toast."

"Sounds like a personal problem," Jisung mimics, turning around to stick his tongue out. You laugh as Ryujin swats at him, until you feel someone tugging on your arm. Whipping round, Seungmin is standing behind you.

"Oh hey," you say, giving your friend a smile. Seungmin had met the guys roughly the same time you did, bein introduced through Jeongin. "Are you not coming with us?"

"Nah," he says, shaking his head. You notice Ryujin hanging back to wait for you whilst the rest of the group continue walking. "Wanna stay and oversee the event, since someone is too busy to."

You roll your eyes at his dig at Jeongin, giving him a half smile. "Make sure it goes well for him! You'll be missed."

Seungmin smiles in return, giving you a wave as Ryujin practically drags you by the arm in the direction of the guys' dorm. It doesn't take you long to get there, since the on campus dorms are only a ten minute walk away from the outdoor auditorium, and as soon as you arrive with Ryujin shortly after everyone else, the boys are already cracking out the shots.

You kick your shoes off as soon as you get in, shoving them into the large pile by the front door. The guy's five bed dorm had the exact same layout as yours, but for some reason it was much bigger. The living area was twice the size, and the kitchen didn't have a door like yours did, which made it the perfect space for parties.

"What took you guys so long?" Felix says, walking through from the kitchen area to pass you both a shot. You clink the small glass with Ryujin, downing it before handing the empty glass back to Felix.

"Seungmin wanted to say bye, since he's being all studious and staying to watch the event," Ryujin explains, giving Felix a look. Felix rolls his eyes.

"Of course he is. I swear, that guy just doesn't stop," he says with a laugh. "Him and Jeongin are total opposites. If he wasn't the funniest guy I've ever met, I don't think they'd even be friends."

"Hey!" You say, lightly punching Felix's arm. "Seungmin's such a sweetheart."

Felix raises his eyebrows at Ryujin, and you look back and forth between the two of them. "What?"

"No nothing," Ryujin says with a smirk. "Who's on music?"

"Jisung, obviously," Changbin answers as he walks towards the three of you. "Dickhead never let's me connect to his stupid speaker."

"Yeah, well his music taste is subjectively better than yours," Ryujin mocks, and you don't miss the smirk Changbin sends in her direction. Their dynamic was always one that confused you - they acted like they were infatuated with each other one moment, and like they could kill each other the next. It had been like that since they'd met through Jisung in first year.

"Low blow," Changbin says, moving closer to Ryujin, which you take as your queue to leave the two of them to it. You grab Felix's arm to pull him away.

"Those two are insane," Felix laughs. "Bet you a tenner they sleep together tonight."

You raise an eyebrow. "You're on. I have faith that Ryujin will stand her ground. She says they're over for good."

"As if," Felix rolls his eyes, shaking your hand to solidify the bet. "How's being the dance student body treating you, anyway?"

"Not bad so far, since I haven't had much to do, but I feel like it will get intense later on in the semester," you reply, wandering through to the kitchen to get a proper drink.

"Well, I'm always here to help," Felix says truthfully, and you know he's right. You'd gotten so close to him through your course and realised he was probably the kindest person you'd ever met. "But I know you'll do a great job."

"Yeah she will," Minho interrupts, slinging an arm round your shoulder and handing you a straw for your the drink you'd just poured for yourself. "No doubt about it."

"What did I do to deserve all this kindness?" You laugh, though you were more than happy with the compliments. You'd been worried about doing a good job, since your course was so big and Chan had so much faith in you.

"Okay, okay, you'll just never receive another compliment from me again," Minho laughs, shaking his head at you. He turns to face Felix. "What do you think about Lia?"

"Aw, she's nice! Haven't spoke to her much yet, but she seems lovely," he replies, and you nod in agreement. You could see yourself getting along with her well already.

Your conversation gets interrupted as Jeongin pulls the three of you away to play the game of beer pong he'd just set up on the kitchen table, one of your groups favourite games to play. It used to be ring of fire, but when Jisung lost one time after a long game and had to down the disgusting concoction of beverages that had been poured into the jug and thrown up everywhere afterwards, you'd put a halt to the game.

You play for a good few hours - you on a team with Minho, Jeongin and Felix versus Chan, Yuna, Lia and Jisung. They end up winning whilst you have two cups left, and but the time you and Jeongin have finished downing the remaining drinks, you feel yourself getting drunk. The game disbands, and you wander away to find Ryujin, though you can't seem to find her anywhere.

"You okay?" Chae asks you as you join her in the kitchen with Hyunjin and Lia, passing you a drink after noticing you didn’t have one.

"Yeah, fine - was just looking for Ryujin. Have you seen her?"

Hyunjin scoffs, leaning against the kitchen counter with a drink in his hand. "She left with Changbin halfway through your game of beer pong."

"You're kidding," you groan, rolling your eyes. "I owe Felix ten bucks now."

"You bet on them?" Chae laughs with Lia, and you nod in defeat.

"I really thought she'd be able to hold out this time," you say. "Will they every put an end to their toxic situationship?"

"Oh come on," Hyunjin rolls his eyes, and you turn to give him a look for his attitude. "Why do you keep getting involved? It's none of your business, just leave them to it."

You blink a couple times at his audacity. “Ryujin‘s my best friend, it’s my business if she’s getting screwed over.”

You hear Chae lean into Lia and whisper, “They’re at it again.”

“They’re both as bad as each other,” Hyunjin retorts with raised eyebrows. “And you getting in the middle of it doesn’t help.”

“I’m not getting in the middle of anything!”

“So betting on them isn’t getting yourself involved?” He says, and you take a step forward, feeling yourself getting more annoyed by the second.

“Listen, if -”

“Nope, not happening,” Chae says blankly, taking your wrist and Hyunjin’s and dragging you both out of the kitchen.

“The fuck?” Hyunjin starts, but he’s cut off as Chae pushes you both inside his room, stopping at the door.

“We’re not doing this bickering thing for another semester,” she says, folding her arms across her chest. “I spend every day with you in lessons and I am so sick of it! Sort your shit out and drop it.”

You’ve literally never heard your sweet friend talk like this before, and you totally understand where she’s coming from. You didn’t really realise how much your bickering with Hyunjin grated on your friends nerves.

“Fine,” you say with a sigh, giving Chae a small smile.

“Don’t come out until it’s rainbows and clear skies,” she says as a warning, pointing her finger at you and turning to close the door behind you.

You turn to dance Hyunjin, who eyes the door. “Damn. That was intense.”

“Yeah, well. If I had to put up with the two of us I’d be at my wits end too,” you say with a chuckle, your anger beginning to subside. “I just - have you got some sort of issue with me?”

Hyunjin looks at you for a moment before sitting at the edge of his bed. Since he’d just moved into the dorm, his stuff was shoved in a corner, not properly unpacked.

“I don’t have an issue with you,” he lets out, looking as though he hates saying it.

“It certainly seems like it,” you counter, folding your arms across your chest. “It’s like every time I have something to say, you have a counter argument, no matter what it is.”

“We’ve always been like that, though,” he points out, tilting his head. “I kinda felt like it was our thing.”

“Our thing?” You question, putting emphasis on your words.

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “We bicker. It’s our thing. I thought you enjoyed it.”

You think about it for a minute, and you realise he’s not entirely wrong. You’d always called Hyunjin a friend, yet you argued to no expense. If you truly didn’t like him, you wouldn’t call him a friend.

“I guess so,” you reply, leaning against the closed door. “I dunno. I just assumed you didn’t like me, and that’s why we were always at odds.”

“I do like you,” he laughs, almost as if the idea he didn’t was far fetched. “It’s just funny to get you riled up.”

You scoff at him, but you’re no longer angry and there’s no distaste in your tone. Maybe all you needed was to have an actual conversation about your dynamic, rather than keeping up with your arguing without really knowing why you were doing it.

“Friends?” He says, breaking the silence. “I mean, we were already friends, but we can be friends without the annoyance now.”

“I’m still going to want to annoy you,” you say truthfully, knowing that despite clearing the air you will both probably still get on each others nerves. “But I can do that.”

He sticks out his hand and you shake it, realising you feel as though a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

“Chae and Felix will be over the moon,” Hyunjin says, standing up. “Felix won’t have to keep things civil in the practice rooms anymore.”

“Minho won’t be,” you laugh, opening his door, de muffling the noise of the party. “He loves watching us argue.”

“That I do,” he says as you both emerge. “You two sorted your little feud?”

“There was never a feud,” you say stubbornly, but you watch as your friend laughs in your face.

“Yeah right. I’m gonna miss the entertainment,” Minho says. “Anyway, was gonna ask if you wanted us to walk you girls back to your dorm? Changbin and Ryujin have literally ‘fucked off’, Jeongin, Felix and Jisung are passed out wasted on the couch and Yuna is too drunk for her own good.”

“Yeah, sure,” you say lazily, turning to look at the three boys dead asleep on the sofa. “I’ll grab them and we can go.”

“I’ll come with,” Hyunjin says, and you raise an eyebrow at him. “I’m doing the whole, ‘being nice to you’ thing, so let me.”

You just shrug your shoulders in response, going through to the kitchen to rally up your friends. Yuna looks like she’s about to pass out, while Chae and Lia and trying to feed her water. They look up at you as you wander in.

“Time to go, chicks,” you say, watching them stand up.

“You sort things out with Hyunjin?” Lia asks, and you nod in response. “I get what you guys mean about him being the most gorgeous specimen on earth.”

You laugh at her, picking up Yuna’s phone so she doesn’t forget it. “Yeah, it was needed. Thanks Chae.”

Chaeryoung salutes you. “It’s what I’m here for. Thank god, though, because you two were driving me up the wall.”

It doesn’t take long for you all to get your shit together and go, saying bye to Chan who’s desperately trying to get Jisung up so they can go back to their own dorm, and silently bidding a farewell to Jeongin and Felix. Just as you’re about to go, Seungmin shows up at the door looking exhausted.

“You’re only just in?” Minho asks him, shoving on his shoes. “It’s so late.”

“Yeah, I helped clean up,” Seungmin answers, moving past you all to get into the dorm. “How was the party?”

“Was good,” you answer with a smile. “But I’m drunk and tired. Want to go to sleep.”

“I can walk you back?” Seungmin asks, but before you get the chance to answer, Hyunjin waves his hand.

“No need. Minho and I got it, you just get some sleep - you look like you need it.”

Seungmin nods, waving his hand as he ignores the two boys sleeping on the couch and goes into his room. The six of you walk back, thankful that the weather was still warm, and chatted about the night. By the time you’d walked back to your dorm, which was on the other end of campus from the boys, you were all shattered.

“I’ve not drank that much in so long,” Yuna slurs as soon as she stumbles into your dorm.

“Neither,” you say, knowing the only reason you’d gotten so drunk so quickly was because you hadn’t drank much over summer. You turn to the two boys. “You can crash here if you can’t be arsed walking all the way back to your dorm. Yuna will want to share with me anyway.”

“I so do!” She says excitedly, loving having sleepovers after your nights out. Minho laughs at her, turning to Hyunjin.

“I could stay here. Can’t really be fucked having to deal with Jeongin and Felix in the morning.”

Hyunjin nods. “That’s a shout. Thanks.”

“It’s fine,” you say, waving your hand. “Yuna’s room is that one.”

You point to her room, bidding a goodnight to the guys and moving to hold Yuna upright. After making sure she’s sleeping in a position that will prevent her from dying in her sleep, you let your head hit the pillow and drifting off.

“C’mon, my girl. Bedtime,” you say, laughing when she only grins like a maniac to you in return. “Night Chae, Lia.”

“Night guys!” They shout through from their own rooms, and you don’t remember much else than letting your head hit the pillow and crashing out.

[ladyjuquia]

Gottfried von Straßburgs „Tristan“ is my favourite Tristan Telling and my Love for him is on par with Fate/Grand Order's Tristan. So of course it was just a Question of time until I would realise my own vision of him. Even some of my Mutuals that I probably love Gottfried Tristan the same amount as FGO's Tristan of not even more - That said, I hope this explains why I have this huge bias and my head canons for FGO Tristan mostly goes into Gottfrieds Direction haha

Art by @glacescup

While Gottfried's Tristan is still royal and a noble knight I imagined him more simple - The clothes are heavily inspired by Mac Harshbergers Tristan (who is my favourite Tristan Artist) and the Tristan and Isolde Movie (though I have to admit I wasn't the biggest Fan of it haha). I also wanted to show his mora nature-connected side and thought of "the colour of autumn leaves" while designing him.

Art by @harmonia99

Also I want to say, I have my own "Fanfiction" for this Tristan! I am still a "Dreaming Girl" (known as the japanese term "Yumejoshi"; "夢女子").

I am known for shipping my Alter Ego, my Mirror-Self with Fate/Grand Order's Tristan, as you might know! So for this Tristan of course I "made" another Me who fits in my "Dreaming Fanfiction"!

Art by @glacescup

This Version of me is basically just me with some "magical" Elements. For example the Hair is longer and I made the colour's of my Hair more prominent giving each colour a single braid at the back - Fun Fact: The Colours resemble emotions, the stronger this Juquia feels an emotion the higher the chance her hair will change completely to this colour!

The eyes are also brighter, which is because of an enhancement of her eyes so she won't need glasses. Also the little pointy ears are ears I own myself as accessories, I thought it might be cute to add them here!

Art by @harmonia99

This Juquia is a "full fledged fairy" - I thought of her like a Fairy Godmother Type of Fairy. Her Outfit is also more a "lazy" one. I say lazy since I dress like this when I am too lazy to dress myself properly, haha. It also has more focus on being comfortable and practical! In my "Dreaming Fanfiction" she is sort of a Good Fairy for Tristan who always accompanies him!

That said; Yes. My Dreaming Time doesn't end with Fate/Grand Order. The whole shipping is something very personal and therefore something very important to me. But it also has this wonderful effect that whatever happens in F/Go and with Tristan there, it won't affect me this much as I can focus on my OC Shipping!

While this is OCxOC basically I think it's also partially OCxCanon considering I based him on Gottfried von Straßburgs Story, haha. I love them both a lot, I hope I can work with them more in the future!

[daisybell17]

Fourth if July — Loki [song fic] {PART 4}

(warning: death ‼️)

Now, where am I?

What Loki did not expect from that day was the dawning realisation of his…true nature. After leaving your grave, he quickly made his way back to Asgard for Thor’s coronation as King of Asgard. It was quite a marvellous day for his brother, and even if some pangs of jealousy lingered in Loki’s heart in his desire to be king, he managed to keep a straight face. In fact he was happier than he expected to be.

The coronation was beautiful. The throne room of Asgard was decorated in all different kinds of designs. It truly was a big day for Thor…which was then immediately ruined due to an unforeseen attack to the palace.

Thor had pinpointed who was responsible for the attack and Loki being the supportive brother he is decided to help Thor with his stupid idea of taking down the Joutun’s. Loki thought it was ridiculous but Thor always gets his way with him.

What he didn’t expect from this journey was for his skin to not freeze up, but instead showcase his true nature…”What in the gods..?” Loki stared at the splotch of blue skin that covered his arm from the touch of a Frost Giant guard. This makes no sense, this isn’t right.

They all returned to Asgard, escaping with minor injuries. Thor was immediately sent to Odin while Loki locked himself away in his chambers, left with his wandering mind and life altering realisations…who was he? Truly and honestly…who is he?

My fading supply

With no one to turn to, Loki had found himself back at your grave “My love…I’m sorry I haven’t visited in awhile…things have…been weird to say the least” He huffed out as his head fell in exhausted defeat.

He walked closer to your gravestone and sat down across. Loki was clearly frustrated, lost, alone…His willingness to keep going, to find purpose again, to find life was all put to a halt once you passed…

This whole Frost Giant revelation has only added onto the stress coursing through his soul. Why was he lied to? Why had no one told him a thing? Did you know? Is that even possible?

“My Love I…I can confidently tell you that life has started shining again…even if you aren’t with me…but I just found something out a couple weeks back and I don’t know to whom to speak about this matter…except you…”

His eyes started welling up with tears, not of sadness, but of anger, of confusion, of betrayal. “I really wish you were here right now…I really wish I could hear your voice again my love because in all honesty, I have no idea where to even begin with this issue and it’s making me hate myself even more…I am the monster my own father warned me about and it hurts…it hurts…”

He fiddled with his fingers and twirled his hair while lost in thought. He thought about you, his life, his place in the universe. Everything.

Loki stayed by your grave the whole day, crying and pleading for you to be with him, just this once? maybe? please? please?

——————————————————————————

(a/n): hello! yup its been awhile since i updated on this series but life has been busy (+ exam szn) and i wanted to put other fics out there but enjoy part 4!

——————————————————————————

(a/n): UPDATE — officially i’ve decided to end the series here. I think the story is slowly reeling into Loki’s story already portrayed in the MCU, but if you want some sort of closure to this. No. Loki does not actually reunite with you, your stories end here. The same way he can’t be with Mobius at the end of Loki season 2, he cannot be with you.

Thanks for all the support on the series!

TAGS: @ladychota @scoliobean

[crusherthedoctor]

📞 a character others dislike but you don’t?

♠️ favorite protagonist?

🕷️a character you feel is underrated?

📞 - a character others dislike but you don't?

Elise has gained more appreciation over time, but you still get people who think she's to blame for everything wrong with '06. She was a decent if underdeveloped character who simply wasn't used in the story that well, and anyone who thinks turning her into a Not-Sally is the only way to fix her isn't trying.

There's also Zor and Marine, both of whom I will always defend. Isn't it wild how I can barely remember anything from The End's three minute tough guy Reddit copypasta, yet everything Zor says is solid gold... shout out to IDW for missing the point and making him an unironic tryhard like every other villain in the comic. As for Marine, people act as though her character development never happened, which isn't helped by Flynn being one of those very people, and I don't understand why they give her flak for her stereotypical accent, yet make no such complaints about Bunnie.

For a couple of non-Sonic examples: King Sombra kind of went through the same arc as Elise in retrospect. As in, nowadays he has more open fans, but back when he made his debut, he received a disproportionate amount of flak for being a mostly silent villain, and the way he was used. I personally appreciated what they were going for with him, mainly cause of how they conveyed his Crazy Prepared defenses and the like, and honestly, by the time FiM concluded, I think he ended up better off than certain other villains lmao.

And of course, Moneybags. Not counting the first game (cause he didn't exist yet), I don't consider it a true Spyro experience if Winnie the Shit doesn't pop up in increasingly improbable locations to make deals in exchange for, *ahem*, a small fee. He also has some of the best lines. ("What are you going to do, sue me?")

♠️ - favourite protagonist?

Gex is unironically a better written character than everyone in Frontiers and IDW put together. This realisation makes me want to drink tap water at Jerry Garcia's.

Tails has always been my main bro out of the Sonic good guys, cause of how smart he is and how much he wants to help. :D It's also why I'm vocal about how much I despise it when fans double down on reducing the franchise to Just Furry DBZ due to super forms and whatnot, since it means Tails and other characters not named Sonic/Shadow/Silver are guaranteed to be treated even more like they're not good for anything meaningful. >:|

Then there's Spyro of course, which I know will be considered ironic to some given my complex feelings on Sonic, but truth be told, Spyro isn't really that similar to Sonic beyond some snark. He does admittedly act like a dude with tude in the first game, but it's clear that he's younger in that one. From the second game onward, where he's slightly older, he's considerably more chill... at least compared to Bubsy and many others from the 90's. And speaking of, despite his dialogue consisting entirely of WOAH, I respect Crash as well, since it was the bandicoot that got little me into the world of video games.

And many things change, but my fondness for Fluttershy will never die. Just as I have a preference for funny robot-loving villains who nonetheless remain a legit serious threat instead of being a joke, I have another preference for kindhearted quiet characters... which is why I also enjoy Trip... and Tikal... look, we all have our types, I'm sure you can sympathise. ;P

🕷️ - a character you feel is underrated?

The Hard-Boiled Heavies have mostly been pushed aside since Mania came out (aside from that one IDW story, but that's not a blessing), and it makes me madder than YouTubers who pretend they're mad because there are villains with dialogue who have less personality than these guys. They're so much fun, and despite all of them having the same Egg Robo template, their designs remain distinct from each other, even in silhouette form.

I also took to Ariem early on. Like the Heavies, "underrated" refers to general lack of fandom buzz compared to other characters, since although she appears to be quite liked, the acknowledgement given to her is somewhat limited due to her being stuck in an Android-only game for the time being. Some people also have an obsession with comparing her unfavourably to either Sage or Lanolin, for reasons I can probably guess in both cases. Me? I love her design, and her interactions with Cream and Knuckles are cute. :> I know it's not likely, but I hope she appears elsewhere so that she can be brought to more fans' attention... provided she doesn't get IDW'd.

Finally, a more complicated example: Metal Sonic. Now yes, he's very popular and beloved, and remains so to this day, but during the last couple of years, I feel I've been seeing two growing sides in the community when it pertains to him: the side who loves Neo Metal Sonic, and believe he's only a threat in that form like Flynn apparently believes (given how he often turns regular Metal into a jobber), and the side who consider him lame or essentially worthless because of his minimal characterization compared to others. He might not say much, and he might be a hedgehog-shaped tool of Eggman's ambition rather than a complete person of his own, but I believe there's a lot you can do with Metal that wouldn't require turning him into Usurper the Elf Shoes. OVA Metal ain't S-tier for nothing.

[wordsandrobots]

I have of late been thinking about my dislike for the idea that Optimus Prime and Megatron were friends prior to the whole 'thousands of years of unending war' thing.

You see, there is this new Transformers animated film that's just been released, Transformers One, predicated on this very concept. Semi-relatedly, the most recent cartoon to be released under the Transformers umbrella proposes a world where the Autobots and Decepticons settled their differences and Megatron now acts broadly on the side of Good, to the extent of having human friends. I don't like that either.

And to a very large degree, my opinion is completely irrelevant. These are stories aimed at children, to sell toys, and I am closer to 40 than I am to 30. I'm not the intended audience. To a large degree, I've never managed to actually be the intended audience for Transformers media, having fallen awkwardly into the gap between the original 'Generation 1' merchandising push and the 90s iteration in Beast Wars. I have always been a fan of Transformers in an eclectic, slightly disconnected sense, gathering bits and pieces together as and when I've come across them.

My idea of what Optimus Prime and Megatron are like comes from Ladybird Books, half the very first Marvel Comics miniseries, and The Transformers: The Movie. I hold Side Burn from Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2001) up as a favourite piece of design. My first proper official Transformers toy was Air Hammer (who is awesome). Yes, I've been terribly invested in different parts of the fiction and I have my preferences, but my nostalgia buttons for this are permanently, delightfully borked.

Why would modern Transformers fiction cater to me? Why should it? Hell, no, let me say outright it shouldn't. That would be ridiculous. Thus, while I can certainly sit down and explain my feelings on this particular subject -- that Optimus and Megatron originate as characters defined entirely by enmity and oppositional philosophies, that I am deeply uncomfortable with ejecting the political content from fictional conflicts in order to make them more conventionally 'tragic' or 'complex', that I think James Roberts inadvertently did permanent damage to the franchise's central concepts when he made Megatron a conflation of Marx and Stalin in the course of trying to rescue the character from a hilariously botched 'Origin' mini-series, that telling the 'they were once friends' story with a white man voicing Optimus and a black man voicing Megatron looks *fucking awful* -- is there any point doing so?

Never forget that you are arguing about a children's toy was the maxim on the Transformers forums I frequented in the 2000s and early 2010s. I took that advice to heart. I try only to have long involved discussions about the nuances of the franchise with level-headed friends who can separate their preferences from the material realities and thus moderate their reactions with perspective. I also try not take up my keyboard to bash out angry tirades that I am not being catered to by cartoons.

But there's the rub. There's the thing that sticks in my head and leads me to type this post out. In spite of the idiosyncratic reality, I *am* being catered to by this stuff in theory. For the past decade, Transformers as a franchise has been locked into a constant reiteration of previous versions of itself. Transformers One is predicated on fixing the origin of The Transformers around Optimus, Megatron and Bumblebee (and Elita, because you gotta have a singular girl tagging along). The recognisable faces of the brand since 1984 (and Elita). The same characters that have been re-released, reduxed, redone and rewritten since the first update with 1992's Generation 2 (and Elita).

It's branding. It's market-tested iconography. It's commodification working as it always does. It's also absolutely nuts when you step back and realise the underlying strategy of Transformers has gone from "we will sell you all the toys by inventing All The Characters and giving every single one backstories and plot-lines that ensure Sprocket is somehow somebody's favourite" to "we will sell you fifteen versions of the same four characters over and over again."

I assume that calculation makes sense somewhere in the structure of Hasbro's corporate edifice. That it's cost-effective and feeds their goals of endless growth. As James Stephanie Sterling (arch excoriater of the games industry and thank God for them) has been pointing out quite a lot recently, the concept of perpetually greater profits year on year is a dangerous, stupid delusion that destroys industries from all sides. But I am sure the people who buy into it think they know what they're doing and that their logic does indeed result in squeezing more money from same old cash-cow.

Part of that is the calculated targetting of nostalgia. Transformers One is positioned as a prequel, not to any other story in particular, but to an 'evergreen' version of the Transformers franchise. It's at once its own, unique thing and the prequel to that cartoon 'you' remember and loved from the 80s. Why not bring the whole family to relive 'your' childhood? Or hoover up the collectables that have been shipped to ranks of Transformers YouTubers so they can excitedly get fellow enthusiasts to spend more money on plastic models nobody has room for?

[They are selling non-transforming model kits for this movie, because the designs are so streamlined as to prevent easy realisation as transforming toys. The part of me that hates Action Masters with every fibre of my being doesn't know whether to laugh or weep that big name collectors are embracing these damn things. The whole flipping point of this toy-line is meant to be 'thing turns into other thing'! Primus wept, what is wrong with you people?!]

[Ahem.]

The assumption, fundamental to this and the other big toy franchises that have persisted from the 80s and 90s, is that because 'you' like X, you will continue to buy N different variations of X ad-infinitum. That's why it's still Generation 1 Optimus, Megatron and Bumblebee (and Elita) forty years later and following dozens of attempts to diversify the roster. Nostalgia sells, regardless of how well it actually accords with the thing that 'you' liked while in the original demographic for children's toys.

As a slight aside, I have also been unreasonably vexed this week by discovering Hasbro has produced a box-set of collectable action figures based on Star Wars novel The Last Command which features dark Jedi clone Joruus C'baoth wielding a red lightsaber. Not only does he not at any time pick up a lightsaber in the book, it would be completely contra to his personality for it to be one associated with the evil Sith. Joruus suffers under the delusion he is rebuilding the good and noble Jedi Order right to the very end, despite falling headlong into the Dark Side of the Force. That's the entire *point*. And that point is entirely irrelevant to the people making the box-set, even as they supposedly target people who like The Last Command, because commodified nostalgia rarely concerns itself with the specifics of the object being evoked. A hazy outline is enough.

Elizabeth Sandifer wrote in a recent essay regarding particular forms of bad Doctor Who and bad Doctor Who spin-offs that they "use my unequivocal love of this stupid fucking show against me." She identifies a distinction between instalments in the series that are crap through the normal reasons things are crap -- bad concept, bad script, bad production -- and those that are produced purely on the grounds that they are 'more Doctor Who'. I think that zeroes in on the problem here. 'More Transformers', 'More Star Wars', 'More Marvel', 'More sci-fi or fantasy intellectual property from which can be squeezed a seemingly endless deluge of products' has become the dominant mode of these long-running franchises. And written into this mode at a fundamental level is this idea that 'you', the hypothetical fan who cares deeply about something that struck a chord with them as children, will simply keep buying the same thing over and over again.

Lego have jut released an 'Ultimate Collector' set depicting Jabba the Hutt's sail barge from Return of the Jedi. It retails for £429.99. I have no earthly idea how anyone can make that kind of outlay on a toy, and I say this as someone who probably could afford to, if I prioritised buying a toy over financing house repairs and, you know, food. I *own* thousands of pounds worth of Lego, because I have been hoarding it piece by piece since I was *six*, one set and one charity shop at a time. If I wanted to build Jabba the Hutt's sail barge, I would consider it an interesting challenge. But to simply buy it, to put down half a grand on this huge set just because it comes from my second favourite Star Wars film?

It offends me an already massively-profitable corporation thinks I would do that. Because in theory, I am in the target demographic here. I am the 'you' in my examples above, I am the right age, more or less, with the right interests and the right level of disposable income. I am the mark all this is aimed at.

I am the person who is supposed to be thrilled by the idea of the 'untold story' of where the Decepticons and Autobots came from, of the secret history of Megatron and Optimus Prime.

Never mind that story was told in the first couple of pages of the original Marvel comics, as a fascistic uprising from within Cybertron society resisted by a peace-desiring majority. Never mind the 1984 cartoon created its own history of sectarian strife between sentient robots built for different purposes by sinister corporate overlords. Never mind that it's just forcing another set of familiar signifiers through the same origin story mill that has given us a long litany of unloved prequels off the back of George Lucas getting too big and too rich for any editor to constrain.

I don't imagine what I have said so far to be a novel observation. It's just capitalism doing what it does, squandering potential in the pursuit of ever-greater profit. Nor do I deny the reciprocal part fandom plays in creative impoverishment. The hysterical backlash from certain quarters to The Last Jedi -- a film that goes out of its way to say Star Wars is still alive with new possibilities and that the returning heroes are strong in all the ways they were at the end of the original trilogy -- stands testament to what ossified taste does to a person's sense of proportion, just as Rise of Skywalker stands testament to what happens when you indulge such people.

Above all, I am not claiming to be immune to the forces behind the nostalgia glut. I'm writing this looking at my display cabinets which have shelves devoted to Transformers, Bionicle (specifically these models), Batman, Doctor Who, Star Wars and Fullmetal Alchemist, and Transformers again. I bought Missing Link Convoy entirely to have a version of Optimus Prime I could hold in my hand that evoked the books aimed at primary school children from which I first learned who this character was (resulting emotions: mixed). My fandom has *always* involved collecting physical objects and as much as I'd stand by the claim hunting down decades-old toys to curate a collection informed by your personal experiences and taste is superior to gorging on an endless stream of new products, it's still chasing commodities. As someone who has also always prioritised creative fandom (fan-art, fan-fiction, building, modelling, speculating, imagining), I'm not seriously going to place one version of Having The Thing over the other on an ethical level. Equally, I see no particular mark of dishonour in taking joy from holding an object that has some meaning to you, however trivial or mass-marketed it may be.

No, what I resent is seeing marketing for a 'brand new' iteration of Transformers that is on some level still aimed at people like me, people my age, people who still find joy in the things they did as children. The calculated insult in multiple-hundred-pound Lego sets designed exclusively for 'adult collectors'. The mendacious indifference inherent to 'exclusive' toys that purport to be physical realisations of dearly-held fictions while being demonstrably ignorant of the source. The endless 'Easter eggs' and 'love letters' that we are expected to clap along to like performing seals.

The idea I should uncritically enjoy the same things I did when I was ten, in the same way, and that this should be a skeleton key to my bank account.

One of the very first things I learned about Generation 1 Optimus and Megatron, beyond the fact that they had always been mortal enemies, was that they died. Their story came to an end and new characters took their places. Ultra Magnus and Galvatron. Rodimus Prime. Fortress Maximus and Scorponok. Optimus Primal and an ersatz new 'Megatron'. Successors. Legacies. The full-throated boast that there are futures past the original tale.

And sure, the original characters have been refracted through different relaunches, alternate universes and reincarnations. It is unreasonable to claim there has ever been a version of Transformers that truly lacked Optimus and Megatron. But there is a difference between reinvented iconography and collapsing every version into 'evergreen' amalgamations, all development sheered off so they will continue to appeal to an old market alongside new generations of kids. Actually, putting it that way is giving Hasbro too much credit when the truth is they have expended massively more effort in courting middle-aged fans with toys aiming to recreate the exact look a character had in the 1984 cartoon (impossible) and bastardised versions of post-G1 toys (look what they did to my boy). They are very much doing the thing I said they shouldn't be.

So yes. I really don't like the idea Optimus and Megatron started out as friends before the war. But the more I think about it, the more I realise that is less to do with them being crammed into a thoughtless 'Professor X and Magneto' template than it is with the fact it is still Optimus and Megatron, forty years on from their debut -- and I'm expected to be happy about that.

[karla-the-elemental-dreamer]

🪢 KH-OC Week 2024 🪢 - Day 5 Package

Prompt: What's one Kingdom Hearts / Disney world I should visit? You're the OC. Recommend me your favorite.

This is Dinh-Yu asking here. And as the OC, I am to give him my opinion. Now obviously for him alone, I would have the 'golden preference 🏆', but for the sake of KH-OC Week, I am providing the Top 3.

---

Preference #3: Traverse Town

At first glance, someone might think "what a boring world", but then what makes Kingdom Hearts, hey? Traverse town is where you start out in a sense (excluding Destiny Islands), so like everyone else, Dinh-Yu needs to get a taste of Traverse Town, especially if he doesn't know where to start or even what Kingdom Hearts is about. I'm imagining to bridge this to an OC idea that in a KH storyline, he could meet Natasha and Erika there. I'm imagining Erika being the welcoming one, and Natasha's either suspicious of him, or like she couldn't be bothered being in the scene she's in. As Erika's all inviting, Natasha is saying something serious or foreboding, but then reluctantly goes along with the other two and loosens up further in to the journey.

I also imagine that due to the Day 2 designs, Natasha and Erika already have their keyblades. And shortly after they wielded theirs, one appears on Dinh-Yu's hands [he is getting a surprise design for Day 7 as a thank you present. No one tell him] but he doesn't know what it is. The girls tell him what it is and teach him how to use it. Natasha would be the more in the lead with this task, and Erika would chime in with little quips here and there.

Also, finally, the idea, remember, of Traverse Town being a refuge for those who do not have a place anywhere else in Kingdom Hearts; so a really cozy world if you think about it.

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Preference #2 (🏆): The Land of Dragons

I mean Dinh-Yu's Chinese, so of course he's got to swing by the Land of Dragons and meet Mulan and Li Shang! Perhaps they'll be having secret conversations behind my back that I don't understand, that being in their native language. Once again, Natasha and Erika would be by his side as his 'Donald and Goofy', and just like in KH2, one of them can be swapped out for Mulan if the player wants.

It's time to see how well Dinh-Yu can combine his Kung Fu skills with a keyblade and kick the Emperor's butt in the main square. Or try not to get rolled over by the avalanche on the mountain unlike his bad encounter in Flashfreeze Cape. Instead of penguins, he'll be facing wasp-like heartless here and potentially a rude man in a black coat that he doesn't realise was his interviewer back on 13 May this year.

Side note; I can't seem to find too big-a-role for Natasha and Erika in this world. I guess it's like the actual KH2 story where the side party are really only more prominent in the bigger worlds. But hey, feel free to contribute some great dialogue/cutscene ideas for them!

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Preference #1: Twilight Town

This has always been my favourite world in Kingdom Hearts, and not JUST due to the residing trio itself. It's funny, because both my KH dream guides come from other worlds, but the one where they're not from is the one where I feel most at home.

Well, that's a clashing idea as Terra has managed to ease me into the Land of Departure and has made me feel at home there. But I can't necessarily do heaps of stuff there.

So it's like no matter what other worlds I might be in, I seem to keep revisiting Twilight Town time and time again, which is likely also why Lea has befriended me and acts as a supporting figure to Riku and Terra if you will.

I remember in 2020 and early 2021, asking Riku to take me to Twilight Town lots of times and I bonded with him there more than I did on the islands. So in the dream world, it has mainly been just Riku and I (and Namine on some occasions). But in waking life and in general KH-OC Week lore, Selvian and Sierra have also had a large part to play in this world. In-fact as a bonding experience, Riku would take me up to Namine's mansion and we'd do things over there with her (so as a threesome as it were). Like Riku was very short and snappy in 2020, but in times where were at the mansion, he'd ease up there... Maybe because there were two girls around him? I can't say much for Terra in this instance because I haven't been to Twilight Town with him near as much [he and I used Neverland]. But this world was a memorable foundation for Riku and I, and once again, is revisited from time to time when I my IRL body and mind can catch a break from spiritual bombardment / retrogrades and the 'spiritual grind' 😅.

Neverland is among my favourite worlds for the above reason. But as this is recommending where Dinh-Yu should visit, there are higher preferences.

So for Dinh-Yu's case, there is a lot to do in Twilight Town and you will make friends with at least one if not more of the locals. As part-time participants, even Selvian and Sierra enjoy spending time in Twilight Town and the two eat Seasalt Ice-creams as they walk up to the train station or down to the sandbox with me, or both me and Riku. In a sense, Riku, myself and those two may sometimes have 'family outings' there and occasionally meet up with Lea. The teddies have never been seen on the clocktower. Either they have just never gone there, or as little teddies, are scared of what would be extreme heights for them, moreso than a person.

Remembering from my IRL dream archive, Twilight Town is actually the place where Sierra first manifested her keyblade. She would definitely invite Erika to hang out with her there one day.

Now for if Dinh-Yu was going to Twilight Town, my recommendation would be to befriend the Seasalt Trio. He used to interact with Roxas more until I got lethargic, so he does know him. Only Xion he hasn't really gotten to know. Also, opportunity for Kung Fu and/or Keyblade training on sunset hill... Away from the locals. And please don't terrify anyone travelling underneath the train station network.

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Discussing the 'worlds' prompt is now finished.

Now just for disclosure / a reveal to Terra's situation. Day 3 and 4 have prompted a need to review the situation with Terra's teddies and there has been a change-over:

Terra now has guardianship over two Obwana siblings.

Terra's teddy buddies, as of 4 AUG 2024, are as follows: 1. MR. MABO OBWANA - INFP 2. MISS NASHA OBWANA - ESFP

Again the prior dynamic clashed and Terra slowly got neglected. Terra has met Mabo before, even if briefly, and the two bonded instantly, so I think Terra will be really happy to find out that Mabo will be working with him as one of his closest friends (different level to Aqua and Ventus). And this is consequentially I guess Terra's birthday present for 2024.

Also, as Siblings and a strict parental foundation, Mabo and Nasha will likely get along, and there will be less motivation for Nasha to fight/argue with anyone.

MABO:

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I thought now would also be an ideal time to show off Sierra's Heart Station as I did say that any further bonds with her and Erika would be explored over time if ready. I drew it a few months ago, but edited it just now to include her sister:

I thought it'd be a cool concept to have the teddy that it's centred around, in their human form.

Her connections (L-R): - KARLA B: Her creator/'The Mistess'. - MISS ERIKA TAPALADOS: Her younger sister. - MR. LESTER ZHANG: Her husband. - MR. RIKU CAELUM: The Dream Guide that introduced us to Kingdom Hearts. And took Selvian and Sierra under his wing as well when he finally came to terms with me.

Sierra and Lester have 3 children, but this would be too much to add on to her station, and dad and the kids are more in Warioware, whereas mum's gone to Kingdom Hearts. Hey maybe Lester and the kids can visit her in Twilight Town.

Oh God, I just realised that the instance and direction of KH-OC Week 2024 is facilitating a family reunion for Sierra 🥲, even though she still remains much loved and a solo powerhouse in Kingdom Hearts. Selvian is an excellent work-partner towards her and makes her not be homesick (hubby and children regardless of franchise).

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Okeeeey I'm done with Day 5. Man am I going to have anything as equally as engaging for Day 6 and 7? 😅

[thelediz]

You conveyed Aleena as you described her really well— watching her make the same mistakes again that endangered her country the first time is like watching a train wreck. And if you have a Shadow rant locked and loaded I’d love to hear it lol

You're an enabler and I appreciate you.

I will preface this by saying I'm not really a Shadow fangirl. I like him, but Edgy the Hedgie is not a character I have ever spent long hours trying to crawl into the headspace of. WITH THAT SAID...

The thing I love about Shadow is that he is a character that was explicitly made by artificial means, but is entirely defined by his self-determination. And that, despite all character development and an entire game about it, remains in flux to this day and it is SO COOL as a character conceit.

His whole thing is "This is Who I Am", but the very fact that he needs to decide that and announce it... He is constantly having to question that fact, because he--more than any character in the franchise--does not know if what he is doing is his design or his choice. He IS artificial, but in a world with sentient robots that have emotions, WHAT DOES THAT ACTUALLY MEAN?

In Shadow the Hedgehog (the game), there is ONE easily missed line that confirms he's even the original Shadow - if you don't finish every storyline and the True Ending and hear that one line from Eggman while you're busy trying not to die, there is a lot of doubt that implies the Shadow we know now is just an android clone. And in those other endings, Shadow angsts and dramatises and then carries on anyway, because that does not define him.

And whether he is or not, there's still an awful lot of subtext that implies the original Shadow was designed after the Echidna prophecy of Super Sonic. And when we first meet him in Sonic Adventure 2, he is very much defined by Sonic, even though he's ostensibly unrelated. He had to die lose his memory and find himself to become his own character, and I personally think they played that arc out SO WELL in the games. He is now Shadow, he is separate, he is his own character, with his own family and motivations, but he will never fully escape the fact that he was made to be something else, and can never fulfil that role.

Maria died.

He failed before he even had a chance to try and save her.

So. When I bring Shadow in for the Lost Prince, I am absolutely smacking him with the fact he was made to be an artificial version of a prophecy he wasn't around for. Sonic up and dealt with both Eggman (in the Sonic 3 & Knuckles version of said prophecy) and Chaos (in the Adventure version) before Shadow even woke up.

And that's HORRIBLE. Being reminded that you were made for something, you were made in someone's image, and to then meet that person and realise you never had a chance of being anything like them?

Of COURSE Shadow resents Sonic, even if he kind of likes him, and I could spend another however long this has been talking about their relationship. Sonic is so secure in himself, in his choices. He never questions who or what or why he is. He never feels a need to. He is always confident that what he's doing is right, even when everyone around him is telling him he's wrong. He's so visibly loved by everyone, while Shadow...

Shadow has Rouge. He has Omega. He has Sonic himself, in a strange way. But is that enough?

To me, Shadow is in this constant battle with himself. Whether he's good or evil or right or wrong or whether he serves GUN or if he's making his own choices, or if he's Rouge's friend, or her subordinate, or an alien, or a human, or (in the Lost Prince) a mobian, or nothing at all.

And in this fic, the one constant he has, that he is not Sonic... when Sonic too was supposed to be raised and moulded and built into something almost mechanical... that's been called into question, and... how does one deal with that?

But anyway. Shadow is so complex, and so interesting, and I basically love to poke him.

And it's hilarious that he's going to be voiced by Keanu Reeves, I CANNOT WAIT.

(thank you for giving me excuses to rant)