#calm is ass all the way down
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which jjk man makes spliffs out of backwoods and why is it toji?
lmfaooo. this is the foundation of the hot boxing with toji fic i have cookin' lol.
#but did i lie?#if not toji then definitely sugu#although sugu is more bong type to me#nanami smokes out of a bowl#choso smokes joints#sukuna you have to trick into eating edibles (lol sukuna fic i have cooking)#gojo? well gojo ass aint allowed to smoke lmfao#can you imagine that man on a sativa?#lmfao utter chaos#maybe a HEAVY indica#calm is ass all the way down#and hes doing it out of a disposable vape#he would do gummies but his sugar addicted ass would eat them all and be zooted for a days#yuji n his friends are hot knifing it#megumi saw toji do it once when he was out of backwoods#higuruma is a man of the LAW so he's smoking the good contraband shit he gets from his cop friends i feel like hed have a whole rig#ino is vaping bc ofc he is lmfao although he once bought a gravity bong and nanami yelled at him cause he was toasty for 3 days straight#jjk headcanons#♋︎ kizzatcanons#•𐦍 𝓀𝒾𝓏𝓏𝒶𝓉тαℓк
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long hair marla long hair marla long hair marla lo
#fight club#fight club 1999#artists on tumblr#illustration#marla singer#she's my comfort character ok#I'm getting her face features better I feel so good#actually I felt kinda shitty all day#existential dread caught my ass again#me when I sleep only 3 hours#man what the fuck was I thinking back in elementary school when I initiated the blank nights sesh#I want to sleep so badly but my body doesn't want to#I just wanna have silly dreams let me be#anyways#drawing marla calms me down everytime#I love her the courteous love way#martyryo#won't be much active aside from posting art also
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"The Boy With The Thorn in His Side"(x) - The Smiths × 2023 Strollonso moments + pundits' reactions
#baby's first web weave please be kind#frankly i could make a giant masterpost on my opinions on which Smiths songs fit which drivers/ships#i like their music a very healthy amount and I don't spend countless hours daydreaming to it...no....#but this particular song has been haunting me bcs i think it fits them super well!!#with their relationship dynamics and then the way everyone doubts their relationship#though its been hilarious watching the f1tv commentators kind of resign themselves to 'ah well ig this is what AMR/Fernando is like now'#went from being confused and shocked at their on track comradery to just accepting it for what it is#now theyre like 'ah yes lance dutifully lets fernando pass' compared to the previous ouright disbelief and denial#yeah thats right...theyre in love...what are you gonna do about it...#i think one day itd be fun to make a vid comp of all the times the commentators were ?????? at strollonso's lovey doveyness it is fun TO ME#it was really funny to look through shitty articles for negative comments#but the funniest part is that istg all of the articles just quote this one singular man who is hellbent on being a hater#i am in your walls peter windsor.#i think its silly when they bring in 'f1 experts' for their opinions ona drivers motivations and mindset#they act like such armchair psychologists like bruh your degree is probably engineering or journalism calm down!!#hehehe anyways happy with this!! i wrote it out on paper like a whole ass essay draft to brainstorm what to put#and then i scrolled thru the draft while listening to the song and im just EEEEEEE IT FITSSSSSSS#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#lance stroll#fernando alonso#fa14#ls18#1418#1814#strollonso#alonstroll#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion
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Oh gosh okay so I went back to marinating more on long haired Jihoon, but specifically long haired Jihoon getting pegged has me chewing on the bars of my enclosure to get out
Like just think of how pretty he'd look when he's on all fours and your fucking into him!! His chest blushed and heaving from how needy he is for you and the way your touch just feels so good and electric running along your skin! Your fingers then threading through his hair to pull his head up to see his thoroughly fucked out and flushed face in the mirror you placed in front of the bed. His eyes rolling back into his skull as cute little whimpers and cries slip from his lips when you brush your lips along his shoulder and licking up his neck before nibbling on his earlobe. Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh and even the louder moans he'd make if you gripped his cheeks in your hands and pounded him into the mattress, his back arching so nicely that you can't help but run a hand up his spine and wrap his long hair around your fist while he trembled underneath you whimpering about how he's gonna cum. Your eyes dropping down to watch his slick hole swallowing your strap on with ease from being played with for so long before getting bent over. Jihoon's whines getting louder from hand slipping between his thighs to jerk off his leaky cock until he's releasing spurts onto the sheets under him. Tears springing from his eyes as you fuck him at a harder and faster pace until he was left gasping for air, his thighs shaking from keeping his ass up when your strap slips out of his trembling hole and a relieved smile on his face as you cooed about how good he was for you, and how he looks so pretty all fucked out like this between kisses along his spine
#seventeen smut#woozi smut#jihoon smut#i'm sorry i'm back in my geto jihoon thoughts of him with some long hair. like long ass hair like him and this started cuz#i saw a post on ig from the alley saying that they'll have more jjk merch coming soon and i really wanna get the keychains#especially since my slutty little toji is included too like oh my god#but yeah i think i might be good enough to try writing again but bit by bit#mostly cuz the ways i've been coping with stress and anxiety hasn't been as effective but writing this has helped me calm down a bit#and get me focused on something else cuz i've had too many peer reviews that i think i should probably get assessed by a doctor soon#but yee ya girl sammy is making baby steps of a return rn since writing this didn't feel draining at all and it made me so happy!!!#this shit has me feeling like austin powers when he got his mojo back lmaooooo#m:jihoon
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just read the new hatchling skin rules and am having Some Type Of Initial Emotional Reaction and am now writing down said Initial Emotional Reaction uncensored as i currently Strongly Feel A Type Of Way and Require Venting. i cannot word this more politely. i do not have the capability to render this rage into polite borderline corporate-speak for the sake of the damn rules that act like anything short of apologizing for being alive to make up for having even the most constructive understanding friendly criticism or even personal mild non-critical dislike of something like a color or a breed is tantamount to personal targeted hatemail. i cannot wait until i cool into calm bitterness later because if i think about this enough to write about it again i will just go right back to being furious and the fact that everyone ielse who's complaining is focusing entirely on the lolita fashion thing and not on in my opinion the far more significant and offensive part is pissing me off even more. extremely angry unedited ranting ahead
fr having it's own "female presenting nipples" moment right now, not that i'm particularly surprised, they've been a prime example of "conservative protestantism in a lefty-language veneer" for a long while now.
"don't adultify" is such a fucking vague and easily selectively interpreted rule, not to mention insulting for a number of reasons,
but putting that part aside the whole idea of "nothing that suggests that the dragon is an adult in a young body" is. look, i'm not exactly fond of the "adult who looks like an anime schoolgirl" trope myself, but i fail to see how in the absolute FUCK having it be canon in-universe that it is both possible and legal for someone to be forced to stay as a child permanently, is somehow LESS creepy than just saying eternal youth dragons have dwarfism. also, fuck you to anyone with dwarfism apparently i guess?
and "no zombie baby dragons" is just stupid. even fucking minecraft has baby zombies, and microsoft has steadily butchered that game into one of the most t for toddler babymode things on earth this side of cocomelon.
and "no scars on hatchlings" so fuck you to any kids with scars too apparently, even though that's way more common than anyone seems to realize. you hear that, kids? if you're under 18 and have scars your very existence is too obscene for public view. 13+ year olds will be irreparably traumatized if they have to know you exist at all! fuck you disabled kids and fuck you amputee kids and fuck you any kids that have suffered anything ever at all for not appearing as a perfect unspoiled image of conservative christian child-doll innocent purity. flight rising staff says your body and existence is inherently too nsfw to even be acknowledged as existing much less visually seen. everyone knows REAL children don't get damaged at all, and if they do then they're too horrifying and defective at their job of Being A Child Properly to exist in public spaces! how dare ugly things that might make us uncomfortable with their existence by contradicting out ideals about aesthetic moral purity be allowed where good respectable normal people can see them!
i don't say any of these words lightly, and i'm very much not the type to go around calling people whatever-ists and in fact find that kind of thing extremely annoying, useless, reductive, and more or less only ever see it used as a blunt cudgel to shame people into line so they don't question you, and have historically found it especially annoying when people pull out the accusations-of-ism card on fr staff over things that are far more likely just completely understandable (if dubiously competent) issues of certain things simply not occurring to someone on code and design level due to lack of sufficient exposure to the idea, and have always been of the belief of giving them the benefit of doubt (even if often that just means i think they either most likely made an understandable mistake that i would likely also make, or, when i'm feeling less kind, that they're simply not particularly competent rather than actively hostile) so understand how much it means coming from me when i say- flight rising staff, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you, you ableist batch of pricks, so far up your own asses with your performative veneer of vaguely lefty-flavored language that you don't realize how fundamentally extremely conservative all of your actual beliefs underlying them are. for every update you make that i approve of there's another that does twice as much damage as the good update fixed (and i'm starting to wonder if you maybe know what you're doing with that too-always batching the fucked up shit on the tail end of some big thing you know people will be excited about, always hiding these controversial moderation changes under something shiny and new, to the point that now i dread any new good update that genuinely seems a step in the right direction and/or is something we've been wanting for awhile because i'm just constantly expecting the knife hidden behind the footnotes afterwards, the fucking "ban tiktok/gay marriage/strip rights from this population/end net neutrality/whatever/ect" clause stapled onto the end of a bill about something entirely unrelated functionally holding a change people want hostage until they allow the fucked up part through. i've been here most of the site's 10+ years and i've seen this sort of thing happen far, far too often.) and every year the shit that gets pulled on the management and moderation end of things makes me more and more almost glad i've never had an income to spend on this, and the fact that apparently the moderation behind every single other petsite in existence is somehow significantly worse fucking astounds me. the only reason i stay around here is because It's Free Dragon Pictures, because it's literally the only actually good petsite game i've ever played and not gotten sick of within a week or so (and really the only good low-energy game i've ever played in general, which i'm increasingly convinced is in spite of it's management), and because somehow, despite all of this shit, i still genuinely love the game itself, because unfortunately by some accident of creation it seems they apparently stumbled purely by coincidence into making an actually good game idea no one else quite has. and after all the fuckery that gets constantly pulled, i refuse to believe the game being good is anything other than, much like many of the of the incidents i think they're unfairly accused of malice and -ism over, an accident.
Disabled children too obscene to fucking exist. fuck you. good to know half the child population's existence requires a trigger warning to even be allowed to be acknowledged as existing to you. good to know if the heart surgery i had when i was 11 had left any visible external scars i would be considered inherently too obscene to exist to you. good to know if the overhealed and benignly potentially cancerous scar on my back from whatever actually happened when i was a toddler (i don't trust either of my parents to ever be accurate about something like that) was in a more visible spot you would demand i have a trigger warning to post selfies online. good to know if any of the shit that's broken me emotionally left visible physical marks you would think it was good and right for me to be forcibly hidden from good normal people's view and considered too taboo for even the slightest discussion without hiding it with makeup and lies, just so i don't make good, lucky, undamaged, normal people uncomfortable, god fucking forbid. should we hide the gays too, since they also make so many people uncomfy? i imagine it won't be long before disabled adults are too obscene for your polite societytm sensibilities too. i've had the feeling for a long time that amputee and disabled skins were living on borrowed time with your rules, kept technically not explicitly dissalowed where all other forms of injury and ""body horror"" are banned simply out of fear of the backlash it would cause to include them, and well. the doomsday clock on that one just got a little bit closer to midnight, huh?
the only reason i wasn't a (physically, visibly, externally) scarred kid was pure sheer fucking luck. the only reason you weren't a physically scarred kid too is pure sheer fucking luck. the only reason you're not some type of disfigured or ugly or amputated or visibly injured or whatnot is pure sheer fucking luck. you're lucky. nothing more. if having to contend with that fact-the fact of how easily it could have gone a different way and there is nothing they would be able to do about it- makes good normal tm people uncomfortable, then well, get the fuck used to it, other people children very much fucking included don't exist to cater to the aesthetic sensibilities of a lucky perfect few. the only thing that separates you from the damaged ones you find too obscene is a bad day and an unlucky hand. and one day, even if you were lucky enough to escape being damaged when you were young, you and i will both be just like them too.
more festival skin winners slots is good. elemental swords sound fun.
#flight rising#how do i always and only end up in fandoms where either the fans or the creators or the fans and the creators#are downright insufferable crypto-conservative nutjobs of the type who tend to think justifying suicide baiting is ever okay#i'm sure i'll cool down to a more calm bitterness on this eventually but for right now i've just read the post and my initial reaction#is still Burning Hot#you have touched upon a trigger subject and I Am Very Angry#the stupid school dress code-ass clothing rules is dumb but wouldn't have gotten much out of me other than an eye roll on it's own#but no scars? no sign of past injury? no implication of disability? no uggos basically?#everyone else who is angry is focusing on the dumb dress code rules when this bullshit is right fucking there#the experience of being an fr player all these years has been a slow building of papercut after papercut#with everyone telling you it's not that bad#until you're the unreasonable one for being so angry over 'just a papercut'#and you have no good way to tell them that it's been 'just a papercut' over and over and over again for *years*#and you would very much like if the chill thing that's supposed to be a low-investment de-stressor would STOP GIVING YOU PAPERCUTS#i don't know how much i can give the benefit of doubt anymore
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horror bragging about he's immortal and allat to killer and dust (because he genuinely thinks he is. like he literally came back from the DEAD that is a proud accomplishment!!!! bro probably brags all the time about it like "heh even if you hit me hard i'll just get back up. bitch")
and then killer's like alright bet! let's test that out! and then he starts going on an all out chase for horror's head. and dust just follows along because hey why the fuck not it sounds fun and it would be nice to knock horror down a peg or two :3 frantic running from horror ensues because as much as he'd like to stick by his claim he REALLY cannot be going around risking to see if him being immortal is actually true 💀
#horror it's all your fault you played with fire and now you are not about to get burned you are about to DIE#oh its probably so nervewracking....... he legit could die horror doesnt know if the other two would take mercy on him#he's been an ass all this time ‼️ he has been manipulative and lied ‼️ he has shittalked them at their lowest ‼️ he is FUCKED#or WORSE they just end up dragging this out and driving him crazy with paranoia (this is in fact what would happen)#not that he particularly regrets not being nice to killer and dust because why should he and why do they deserve it but like. GODAAMN IT#couldnt it HURT just to be a LITTLE nicer past horror???? now youre gonna DIE because you were too much of an asshole!!!!!!! fuck#but maybe he doesn't die? maybe he actually lives when the two find him and eventually#would that be worse actually yes in fact it would. if he wants anyone to find out he's actually immortal it would NOT be dust and killer#death seems much more inviting than being hunted down by those two. oh SHIT REAPER WAIT DONT TOUCH HIN#if killer and dust worked together they could probably create a torture situation that not even a tank personified would mentally survive#this seems like another one of my ideas in my head that seems bright and comedic but in reality would just be terrifying#i like it piccasso. now just set it in horrortale and then you have horror in the place of all the people he killed#all the people he hunted down all the innocents and now he gets to feel what they felt when he chased them down#the fear and nervousness of being watched of being toyed with of knowing that youre already stuck in a maze with no exit and no way back#yeah i'd kill myself the psychological horror i'd feel would just be too much dust and killer can just kill me for all i care I GIVE UP#wouldnt it be funny if dust and killer never even touch horror they just chase him until he passes out#that would be sooooo silly LMAO. bitchass we didnt even touch you and you passed out from panic and exhaustion??? COWARD 🤣🤣🤣🤣#dust and killer would never let that memory be forgotten trust. trust. i love it when they taunt and torture eachother#GOD can we get some self not so self inflicted pain onto these 3 😒😒😒 more than they already have but whatever#dont worry guys they took horror home after he passed out and when he woke up fed him a bit of soup to replenish his energy#and then they played a roblox obby to calm down and also relax and then they fell asleep all zzzrkkk mimimimi shoooo like 3 little kitties#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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pretty sure i have a kidney infection but i think everything is gonna be okay
#i called the doctors office neither of my beautiful lady doctors who believe me every time i say i have a problem were there and a guy#doctor was the only person to talk to#and he said PUSSY ASS BITCH TAKE AN IBUPROFEN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP#just kidding he gave me some other symptoms to watch out for and said to go to the er if i get those. but that for now i should just keep an#eye on it. anyway i cried a little bit i called my mom and she said that i should be peeing after sex and i said yes mom i'm a grown ass#woman. i called my bf he had a theory that i am making myself anxious about it and making the pain worse. which may have been true but also#i think he's biased bc he gives himself psychosomatic symptoms of everything all the time.#but i'm taking a bath and watching dumb youtube and i actually feel way better so maybe it's true.#anyway i'm already on antibiotics. i'm going to survive the night. if it's not feeling better tomorrow i can call my doctor again!!! bitch!#like calm down jesus....
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I'm having too much fun with this ballet AU lol
#cookie writes#Kim is SUCH a BITCH#primadonna to the core#Chay likes him so much#he's gonna take that stick out of his ass and replace it with his cock#maybe if Kim gets good dick he'll calm down and be nice#Chay is a martial artist in this#he's gonna have all kinds of fun sparring with Kim#putting him in holds and pinning him down#seeing all the fun ways Kim can bend for him
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#why are people like….so mean#like some of u are way too invested in ts personal life which like I am too#but like….why is everyone soo dramatic about it when they have both made it so clear they have only wanted privacy for years#like people were all up ja ass and now everyone can’t wait to make the next funny joke about him like besties!!! leave the kid alone#regardless of why they b/u that’s between them and ts will say what she wants in her music like always just calm down#ur not affected by this why do u care so hard ts has all the support and love in the world there’s no need to put ja down for funsies#just gives me such a weird vibe like he’s never given anyone w reason to hate him so why not#now*???#anyways something happened and it made me mad and all I see are jokes about ja and it’s just really shitty leave them both alone jfc#mine
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The 2000s were such a weird era for Batman/detective comics its like back to back mid and garbage runs
#batman#and everyone worships them too like calm down#murder/fugitive is so mid actually. it has its highlight in the end and i liked seeing everyone team up but be so fucking fr rn#i can literally only justify that run as Bruce having a manic/psychotic episode in the most serious way possible.#i dont blame rucka or brubaker that much either ive heard it was largely an editorial decision but like cmon man#if that is your favorite arc... get better taste. read strange apparitions or something. venom. gothic. im giving these for free#broken city is actual ASS. why does dc rizz up azzarellos batman work so much. ive literally never enjoyed a thing#hush was violently mid. another dc insists on glazing like paul dini didnt fix all that already#i had to put down war games. thats how much it pissed me off. do you know how much it takes for me to put down a comic??
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Your stance on the Dunmeshi queerbait stuff is a bit selfish. Wanting this one manga to go exactly the way you want is a dangerous path - the way you phrase it is so entitled, making it clear it's not about consuming media about lesbians, but making one specific work suit exactly what you want. So many yuri mangas are written by sapphic women. It's a shame your stance is how it is.
And bastardizing the term queerbaiting does no good, either. Neither does the japanese manga market. You should research more before making such hurtful posts.
Hope you have a great day anyway.
[Anon is referring to this post, I believe.]
I mean, one of us certainly IS acting very entitled and weird about the media they like, and it ain't me. Like, I think you just have associated this piece of media with your own identity in an unhealthy way that makes you react to criticism of it with intense defensiveness. You don't own Dungeon Meshi. You aren't Marcille. Dungeon Meshi is NOT a yuri manga; it's a beautiful manga with either sapphic queerbait or a woefully underdeveloped queer relationship at its center.
Maybe if you had an argument besides "it does no good" to criticize it, but you don't. So.
Smh, it's a "dangerous path" - I'm screenshotting that bc I know it'll make my wife laugh. Like, friendo, wanting a piece of media to be better isn't dangerous. But calling someone selfish and hurtful for criticizing media while offering no clarifications as to who I've hurt or how (any fellow sapphics bleeding out in here? Or is it just me with my bonkers-heavy period??)... it's overstepping a social boundary in a bizarre way.
Like, I'm sorry that I'm better at media analysis than you (not actually sorry - I am being petty! :D), but I actually have studied queerbaiting!! I am willing to bet I have done more research than you! (Are you from twitter? You have that vibe. - Again, pettiness.)
... and I spend every day with my wife (the best writer I know; I'm so honored to share stories with her), talking of nothing but our shared special interest all day - i.e. media analysis. (I honestly don't know what neurotypical couples talk about lol)
And I've done enough research to know that one of the side effects of queerbaiting is that fans are often in denial about it and then get REAL MAD when someone points it out. I was there for the Sherlock/Supernatural fandom. Shit was crazy. (Not saying Super-who-lock bc my man Russell Davies was like MAKE THOSE BOYS SMOOCH! 😎)
Also like, my apologies to Ryoko Kui - I really do love Dungeon Meshi - but like, I'm just better at writing and illustrating queer rep than she is. I make real gay protagonists who do gay shit and are gay, and I will never queerbait my audience. Womp womp.
Also, honestly, even if I turn out to be wrong about the queerbaiting by the end of the series, this message was still rude and entitled and weird. We have a lot of issues facing our queer community that endanger real people; someone calling a story queerbaiting mistakenly is not one of them.
#original#also I turned off my anonymous asks because i think you're a little bitch and won't reply if you have to attach it to yourself in any way#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#queerbait#queerbaiting#queer representation#sapphic representation#gay main character in my graphic novel? check. is the other main character a demisexual panromantic trans man? check.#are there ace characters? check. are there bisexuals and pansexuals and aro characters?? check check and check!!#dunmeshi doesn't NEED romance and i wouldn't mind the lack of gay rep except for all the GAY SHIT THEY PUT IN TO DRAW IN A GAY AUDIENCE#whether or not the intent was malicious it's the result that matters and the result appears to be queerbait#anyone who needs more information can look at the link and read the replies in all the posts but i turned off replies a while ago#eat my ass 🔥🔥🔥#come into MY place of non-work!!! this screened-in porch is for void shouting! down in front goddamn!!!#also turning off anon asks bc i gotta respond to nonsense like this most of the time it is a compulsive thing so I'll just cut off the flow#'selfish'! honestly! LOOK OUT BOIS I'M GONNA KEEP ALL THE DUNGEON MESHI TO MYSELF!!! it's a limited resource!!!!#like sorry you had a very negative emotional response to my criticism but genuinely that is a You Problem bc I was not being cruel to anyon#i wasn't even like. trashing the show. just remarking how entitled other fans get and then this bitch is like#UM EXCUSE ME AS DUNGEON MESHI'S LEGAL REPRESENTATION I OBJECT-- like okay Phoenix Wrong calm down#pisses me off#emotional skill issue#get gud#also me arguing the show should be 'exactly the way i want' would be 5% 'make Farcille canon' and 95% 'MOAR SENSHI PANTY SHOTS' XD#I'm not saying it would make the show better if every other shot of Senshi was lascivious I'm just saying that is the way I'd want it XD#but i AM saying Farcille would make the show better.#queer people CAN queerbait but idk anything about Ms. Kui that ain't my business#I LOVE MY WIFE#i would be open to a coherent argument for the repressed-Marcille reading of things but like. this is not that.
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When Kaeya is upset with someone he loves, truly upset and seriously hurt, he tends to storm off immediately. And completely vanish from their radars. Whether it's two hours or even days.
A trail of ice-laced footprints is all they'd have to track him immediately after the fact, but after a time, not even Mond's best could hope to find him if he doesn't want to be found.
#hc; kaeya#//He doesn't ever actually leave Mond at these times#//The furthest he's gone is heading right to Dragonspine; actually#//Right up to the peak; or as far as he can go. But that's only if it was Really Bad#//The main reason no one can find him is bc he takes advantage of his little teleporting trick to mess up any trail he may leave#//Makes any indications point to him headed for the Winery; but uses that trick to make his detour. Like the Dragonspine bit#//Taking a detour near the snow-covered path by strictly traveling via water (seeing ice there would be normal anyways) for good measure#//Would end up Southeast; just shy of the Emtombed City's Hidden palace; if not further down#//Other than that; there are plenty caves and domains to hide out at until he calms down#//If asked; he will say he needed to clear his head on the shorter bouts#//And the longer ones; that he ran into trouble and needed to deal with it. And lost track of time#//Sometimes it's true; especially when he finds his way into a domain; and the Abyss starts tugging at his consciousness#//and messes with him so bad; his emotions prompt him to recklessly try and clear it himself; as though to blow off steam#//Has had equal times of success & getting his ass brutally handed to him & having to make a hasty retreat. It's gotten p close sometimes#//There was only (1) time he actually did show up to the Winery#//And that was after a particularly bad argument with Diluc; soon after he'd returned to Mond#//Left the tavern abruptly and tried to get into his old room; almost got shot by Addie who heard him breaking in. Got yelled at for it#//Then tended to after. He confided in her nothing but truth; but not ALL of it; that is to say; he said he was worried about Luc#//Esp coming back from Snezhnaya; even cried a little in her arms. but never mentioned Exactly that it was a fight that brought him here#//Stayed only for a bit; but the Moment he heard Luc come back; he fled. Heard commotion from downstairs & the moment Addie left to check#//He was out his room's window & teleported as far out & away as he could before trying to run back to Springvale w/out hurling on the way#//He does this bc he Fears saying something he Knows will hurt enough to regret#//Bc he thinks they might WANT him gone in that moment and gives them space accordingly#//They won't up and leave him if HE'S the one who makes his retreat first; right? Makes sure THEY don't feel the need to on his account#//They can say otherwise all they like; but the moment the anger's That clear in their eyes; his heart grows icy with dread#//And mind spirals enough to make him up and leave; either abruptly or with a stiff 'I need a moment'. But he needs OUT immediately#//Them being the ones to find him before he's calmed down & ready would always make it worse; unfortunately#//Bc then it starts up his mind spiraling all over again; esp since he'll inadvertently feel cornered by them. & act accordingly#//He WILL try & act as though he Didn't just do that to try & segue back normalcy; it's wiser to gently talk him through how it's not ok#//It might not stop future bouts during serious fights; but at least it can resolve things from this one bc he'd be willing to talk it out
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I think that being autistic got me fucked up
#/pos#but also like vent ish#ok to rb#system babbles#my special interest rn is things that harm me. get out of here who let that sink in#like what do you want im fascinated by the degradation of my body in response to trauma#and the internal lashing out of an already neurospicy brain under incomprehensible suffering#all living things respons in insane overdone ways in panic response and we dont have the research to fully comprehend#even physically threatening immediate situations so how fucking interesting is it to consider abstract threats and the effect that has on a#autistic brain addicted to the internet in a cptsd way with osdd with schizo symptoms and all this other stuff#on TOP of addiction in the family chronic illness EDS (and its ties to autism) and just so so so many things im so so fascinated#but i take fucking psychic damage even considering this stuff or remembering anything so autistic hyperfixation sessions get painful as hel#and i can't even leave i have to let the interest brain pick over articles and info vida until it calms down and buddy its trembling#autism#neurodivergent#special interest#psychology#inthrum bickerman#btw im still in front day 42 fucking laughing my ASS OFF TAKE THAT
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the thing with autism right. is i know if i was having a full mental health crisis what i would end up doing is going to the emergency room and being like "hello, my name is (x) birthday (y), um i was hoping to talk to you about potential mental health inpatient care? i'm currently having a mental health crisis and don't think i can be trusted on my own" like if there's one thing i can be sure will live on in me no matter how hard the brainworms try. is my fucking customer service voice
#like itll be busted as fuck because ill be freaking out but you bet ill be sobbing my way through verbally drafting an email#ive done it before‚ like im a frustrated crier and once i start crying i cant turn it off so ive had a couple times where i had a breakdown#at work‚ cried about it a lot‚ and my lead pulled me into a meeting room after i calmed down to check in#and as soon as i started talking it just started again so i had to be like 'sorry th-this is just something m-m-my bod-dy does‚ i-i'm calm#m-mentally but i just c-cant turn this-is off‚ just try to i-ignore HIC it and f-f-focus-s on the w-wwwords‚#(tired of crytyping so just mentally fill it in yourself in everything else i say)#n they offered me more time to chill but im like no really i genuinely am calm‚ i calm down wayyy before my body does its gonna#keep doing this on and off all day‚ it takes hours for it to fully calm down and is on a hair trigger the entire time#so thinking about this will make it kick back up again no matter what unless we talk tomorrow‚ so if youre ok with bearing with me then cool#and theyre like. dang ok and just focused on what i said#or much more recently i was talking to my roommate‚ stopped‚ held up a finger + stood there silently for ten seconds‚#then was like 'sorry about that‚ i think i have to throw up. excuse me for a moment. what was that? oh gotcha yeah i'll message you if i#need anything‚ thank you'#and just typing it out like that it sounds like i was fine and just saw it coming a ways away. however that is not the case#i had had my covid booster and some other vaccine earlier that day‚ lost 5 vials of blood‚ eaten Nothing‚ drank only#acidic-ass apple juice‚ and had just hit my vape too hard#keeping it in once it made its presence known was a feat of will the likes of which have never been seen before#and still my sentences prevail
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i want an ipad....not the new ugly ones but the old cute small mini’s that came in pink and have a home button.....BUT NO ONE IS SELLING THEM OR THEY ARE HELLA OVERPRICED
#sorry for the un tw'ed ip*d mention i know the besties hate apple#but damn like i fr realized that yeah i do need an ipad for school cause the desks at sschool are so damn small my laptop is not fitting#like why tf do colleges invest money in small ass desks#THE DESKS IN MY HIGH SCHOOL WERE WAY BIGGER#like i don't even need a high tech ipad just one that works#like the ipad mini......it's literally perfect for me#the old ones with the homebutton#that's all i need man#i'm saying i want the pink one cause the rose gold one is cute#BUT MAN I JUST WANT ONE AND THE PEOPLE ON KIJIJI ARE CHARGING SO MUCH MONEY LIKE DAMN#LIKE CALM DOWN MAN THAT IPAD CAME OUT 6 YEARS AGO#LIKE GIVE IT TO ME FOR $20 BUCKS PLS#i should of emailed when i saw that $20 one a few weeks ago#i fumbled fr#pls i just need an ipad that works for school🥺
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We do HC Vi as having chronic pain but we don't often get into the specifics of it because in our experience fandom as a whole, even when it talks about chronic pain headcanons, will often have it more focused on, like... heat pads, or massaging out some aches, or ibuprofen, and yeah, that's totally fine, but we really don't see a lot of, like... major chronic pain talk.
Like, the kind of stuff that can get bad enough to inhibit your thoughts and make you struggle to get logical trains of thought through, the stuff that can make it actively difficult to make it out of bed because if you move the wrong way your brain starts sending out chemicals that make you feel like you're being set on fire, the kind of shit where bad days can paint over almost all of the space you have in your brain for thoughts just to store the fact that you're in pain. It's just... not there, and maybe it's because we're looking in the wrong place or whatever, or the natural side effects of Being In That Kind Of Pain Makes It Hard To Make People Aware You Exist resulting in a knowledge gap, but most of the time when we see "chronic pain" it means just, like. Milder forms. The sort of pain that's low-level present in the back of your mind like static in a radio channel rather than someone yelling at you that something's wrong.
The pain is chronic, sure, and you get used to it, but that doesn't mean that every guy with chronic pain can just Get Used To It, or that you can't get narrative value out of a character with Worse pain. It needs a bit of semantics, yeah, but that's what being a writer is for. Where is your guy getting their painkillers? How well do they work? What if they ran out, or they lost access to their usual supply? What if, like, a bodyswap plot or something similar happens, and another character has to handle it? There's so much fun stuff you can do. We are very much asking you to do it.
#we speak#any significant level of physical or emotional pain will make you remarkably stupid and we are begging for people to Play With That#we realize that handing characters any disability that requires Logistics to handle is Unappealing To Authors but. listen.#if we have to see chronic pain boiled down to just the milder flavors then we'll die and we DO want to see people handle this in fic#kabbu would benefit from better painkillers regardless but. we'll be honest. intense pain tends to make people WAY more snappish#and we cannot hc him as having chronic pain THAT intense ourself because you are NOT as calm as all that when unmedicated#and kabbus ass doesnt have access to painkillers that would mute or negate that because he is an adventurer out in the middle of nowhere#who doesnt have like. a consistent clinic. or a pharmacist. or regular doctors visits. or really anywhere to get those consistent pain meds#which means those hcs have to fall to Other People we hit with the pain stick
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