#calls the mayor a fraud??

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Conspiratorialism as a material phenomenon

I'll be in TUCSON, AZ from November 8-10: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

I think it behooves us to be a little skeptical of stories about AI driving people to believe wrong things and commit ugly actions. Not that I like the AI slop that is filling up our social media, but when we look at the ways that AI is harming us, slop is pretty low on the list.

The real AI harms come from the actual things that AI companies sell AI to do. There's the AI gun-detector gadgets that the credulous Mayor Eric Adams put in NYC subways, which led to 2,749 invasive searches and turned up zero guns:

https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/nycs-subway-weapons-detector-pilot-program-ends/

Any time AI is used to predict crime – predictive policing, bail determinations, Child Protective Services red flags – they magnify the biases already present in these systems, and, even worse, they give this bias the veneer of scientific neutrality. This process is called "empiricism-washing," and you know you're experiencing it when you hear some variation on "it's just math, math can't be racist":

https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/23/cryptocidal-maniacs/#phrenology

When AI is used to replace customer service representatives, it systematically defrauds customers, while providing an "accountability sink" that allows the company to disclaim responsibility for the thefts:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/23/maximal-plausibility/#reverse-centaurs

When AI is used to perform high-velocity "decision support" that is supposed to inform a "human in the loop," it quickly overwhelms its human overseer, who takes on the role of "moral crumple zone," pressing the "OK" button as fast as they can. This is bad enough when the sacrificial victim is a human overseeing, say, proctoring software that accuses remote students of cheating on their tests:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/16/unauthorized-paper/#cheating-anticheat

But it's potentially lethal when the AI is a transcription engine that doctors have to use to feed notes to a data-hungry electronic health record system that is optimized to commit health insurance fraud by seeking out pretenses to "upcode" a patient's treatment. Those AIs are prone to inventing things the doctor never said, inserting them into the record that the doctor is supposed to review, but remember, the only reason the AI is there at all is that the doctor is being asked to do so much paperwork that they don't have time to treat their patients:

https://apnews.com/article/ai-artificial-intelligence-health-business-90020cdf5fa16c79ca2e5b6c4c9bbb14

My point is that "worrying about AI" is a zero-sum game. When we train our fire on the stuff that isn't important to the AI stock swindlers' business-plans (like creating AI slop), we should remember that the AI companies could halt all of that activity and not lose a dime in revenue. By contrast, when we focus on AI applications that do the most direct harm – policing, health, security, customer service – we also focus on the AI applications that make the most money and drive the most investment.

AI hasn't attracted hundreds of billions in investment capital because investors love AI slop. All the money pouring into the system – from investors, from customers, from easily gulled big-city mayors – is chasing things that AI is objectively very bad at and those things also cause much more harm than AI slop. If you want to be a good AI critic, you should devote the majority of your focus to these applications. Sure, they're not as visually arresting, but discrediting them is financially arresting, and that's what really matters.

All that said: AI slop is real, there is a lot of it, and just because it doesn't warrant priority over the stuff AI companies actually sell, it still has cultural significance and is worth considering.

AI slop has turned Facebook into an anaerobic lagoon of botshit, just the laziest, grossest engagement bait, much of it the product of rise-and-grind spammers who avidly consume get rich quick "courses" and then churn out a torrent of "shrimp Jesus" and fake chainsaw sculptures:

https://www.404media.co/email/1cdf7620-2e2f-4450-9cd9-e041f4f0c27f/

For poor engagement farmers in the global south chasing the fractional pennies that Facebook shells out for successful clickbait, the actual content of the slop is beside the point. These spammers aren't necessarily tuned into the psyche of the wealthy-world Facebook users who represent Meta's top monetization subjects. They're just trying everything and doubling down on anything that moves the needle, A/B splitting their way into weird, hyper-optimized, grotesque crap:

https://www.404media.co/facebook-is-being-overrun-with-stolen-ai-generated-images-that-people-think-are-real/

In other words, Facebook's AI spammers are laying out a banquet of arbitrary possibilities, like the letters on a Ouija board, and the Facebook users' clicks and engagement are a collective ideomotor response, moving the algorithm's planchette to the options that tug hardest at our collective delights (or, more often, disgusts).

So, rather than thinking of AI spammers as creating the ideological and aesthetic trends that drive millions of confused Facebook users into condemning, praising, and arguing about surreal botshit, it's more true to say that spammers are discovering these trends within their subjects' collective yearnings and terrors, and then refining them by exploring endlessly ramified variations in search of unsuspected niches.

(If you know anything about AI, this may remind you of something: a Generative Adversarial Network, in which one bot creates variations on a theme, and another bot ranks how closely the variations approach some ideal. In this case, the spammers are the generators and the Facebook users they evince reactions from are the discriminators)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generative_adversarial_network

I got to thinking about this today while reading User Mag, Taylor Lorenz's superb newsletter, and her reporting on a new AI slop trend, "My neighbor’s ridiculous reason for egging my car":

https://www.usermag.co/p/my-neighbors-ridiculous-reason-for

The "egging my car" slop consists of endless variations on a story in which the poster (generally a figure of sympathy, canonically a single mother of newborn twins) complains that her awful neighbor threw dozens of eggs at her car to punish her for parking in a way that blocked his elaborate Hallowe'en display. The text is accompanied by an AI-generated image showing a modest family car that has been absolutely plastered with broken eggs, dozens upon dozens of them.

According to Lorenz, variations on this slop are topping very large Facebook discussion forums totalling millions of users, like "Movie Character…,USA Story, Volleyball Women, Top Trends, Love Style, and God Bless." These posts link to SEO sites laden with programmatic advertising.

The funnel goes:

i. Create outrage and hence broad reach;

ii, A small percentage of those who see the post will click through to the SEO site;

iii. A small fraction of those users will click a low-quality ad;

iv. The ad will pay homeopathic sub-pennies to the spammer.

The revenue per user on this kind of scam is next to nothing, so it only works if it can get very broad reach, which is why the spam is so designed for engagement maximization. The more discussion a post generates, the more users Facebook recommends it to.

These are very effective engagement bait. Almost all AI slop gets some free engagement in the form of arguments between users who don't know they're commenting an AI scam and people hectoring them for falling for the scam. This is like the free square in the middle of a bingo card.

Beyond that, there's multivalent outrage: some users are furious about food wastage; others about the poor, victimized "mother" (some users are furious about both). Not only do users get to voice their fury at both of these imaginary sins, they can also argue with one another about whether, say, food wastage even matters when compared to the petty-minded aggression of the "perpetrator." These discussions also offer lots of opportunity for violent fantasies about the bad guy getting a comeuppance, offers to travel to the imaginary AI-generated suburb to dole out a beating, etc. All in all, the spammers behind this tedious fiction have really figured out how to rope in all kinds of users' attention.

Of course, the spammers don't get much from this. There isn't such a thing as an "attention economy." You can't use attention as a unit of account, a medium of exchange or a store of value. Attention – like everything else that you can't build an economy upon, such as cryptocurrency – must be converted to money before it has economic significance. Hence that tooth-achingly trite high-tech neologism, "monetization."

The monetization of attention is very poor, but AI is heavily subsidized or even free (for now), so the largest venture capital and private equity funds in the world are spending billions in public pension money and rich peoples' savings into CO2 plumes, GPUs, and botshit so that a bunch of hustle-culture weirdos in the Pacific Rim can make a few dollars by tricking people into clicking through engagement bait slop – twice.

The slop isn't the point of this, but the slop does have the useful function of making the collective ideomotor response visible and thus providing a peek into our hopes and fears. What does the "egging my car" slop say about the things that we're thinking about?

Lorenz cites Jamie Cohen, a media scholar at CUNY Queens, who points out that subtext of this slop is "fear and distrust in people about their neighbors." Cohen predicts that "the next trend, is going to be stranger and more violent.”

This feels right to me. The corollary of mistrusting your neighbors, of course, is trusting only yourself and your family. Or, as Margaret Thatcher liked to say, "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women and there are families."

We are living in the tail end of a 40 year experiment in structuring our world as though "there is no such thing as society." We've gutted our welfare net, shut down or privatized public services, all but abolished solidaristic institutions like unions.

This isn't mere aesthetics: an atomized society is far more hospitable to extreme wealth inequality than one in which we are all in it together. When your power comes from being a "wise consumer" who "votes with your wallet," then all you can do about the climate emergency is buy a different kind of car – you can't build the public transit system that will make cars obsolete.

When you "vote with your wallet" all you can do about animal cruelty and habitat loss is eat less meat. When you "vote with your wallet" all you can do about high drug prices is "shop around for a bargain." When you vote with your wallet, all you can do when your bank forecloses on your home is "choose your next lender more carefully."

Most importantly, when you vote with your wallet, you cast a ballot in an election that the people with the thickest wallets always win. No wonder those people have spent so long teaching us that we can't trust our neighbors, that there is no such thing as society, that we can't have nice things. That there is no alternative.

The commercial surveillance industry really wants you to believe that they're good at convincing people of things, because that's a good way to sell advertising. But claims of mind-control are pretty goddamned improbable – everyone who ever claimed to have managed the trick was lying, from Rasputin to MK-ULTRA:

https://pluralistic.net/HowToDestroySurveillanceCapitalism

Rather than seeing these platforms as convincing people of things, we should understand them as discovering and reinforcing the ideology that people have been driven to by material conditions. Platforms like Facebook show us to one another, let us form groups that can imperfectly fill in for the solidarity we're desperate for after 40 years of "no such thing as society."

The most interesting thing about "egging my car" slop is that it reveals that so many of us are convinced of two contradictory things: first, that everyone else is a monster who will turn on you for the pettiest of reasons; and second, that we're all the kind of people who would stick up for the victims of those monsters.

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/29/hobbesian-slop/#cui-bono

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[revivemyreverie]

“Aww, but I just love being a little nasty…”

Twisted from: Professor Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective

Minerva Ratte

ミナーバ・ラット

CV: Daisuke Namikawa (浪川 大輔)

Technical info.

Gender: Male

Birthday: 07/02

Age: 18

Height: 178 cm (5’10)

Hair Color: Raisin Purple

Eye Color: Granola Yellow

Hand Pref.: Right

Homeland: Playpot City

College Info.

Class: 3A Set 20

Club: Track and Field

Favorite Subject: Conjuration

Other.

Hobby: Pickpocketing

Likes: His cat

Dislikes: Being called a fraud

Favorite Food: Non-Alcoholic Champagne

Hated Food: Blue Cheese

Specialty: Harp-playing

UM: It’s Snack Time!

With the ring of a bell, Minerva summons an enormous familiar capable of consuming whatever is in its path. However, this generates an extreme amount of blot, so it is rarely used.

Of Mice and Thieves

DETECTIVE PRODIGY ATTACKED BY ACCUSER

It's a rainy night in the city. Inside a house is a torn paper pinned to a bulletin board

Last week at █████████ ██████, renowned “youngest detective in the world” Ives Mishio was met face-to-face with a knife and a crazed classmate. Having won an award a mere month ago for solving a dastardly robbery in Playpot City’s museum, Mishio has become a household name almost overnight. The mayor of Playpot City awarded him with the title of “Royal Investigator” along with many recommendations should he want to further his education to greatness. His attacker, Minerva Ratte, disagreed with this decision, and decided to take matters into his own hands when no one would listen to him. Thankfully, before any serious harm could be done, the academy’s doctor ran into the scene and apprehended the foul criminal. 

Mr. Ratte, who is well known throughout the school as Ives’ “one and only rival”, had already accused the young man of stealing his work and parading it around as his own. Mishio has already denied such claims many times, telling the press that Minerva had become envious of his title as he was “no longer the center of attention”. And with this recent attack on the prodigy, Ives' hypothesis has once again been proven correct.

Thankfully, before any serious harm could be done, the school’s doctor ran into the scene and apprehended the foul crimin…

The paper’s been ripped off, but the owner of the house stopped caring about stuff like that a long time ago. Now all he’s obsessed with is catching a thief who he'll never find.

[warningsine]

The Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny has died in jail, the country’s prison service has said, in what is likely to be seen as a political assassination attributable to Vladimir Putin.

Navalny, 47, one of Putin’s most visible and persistent critics, was being held in a jail about 40 miles north of the Arctic Circle where he had been sentenced to 19 years under a “special regime”. In a video from the prison in January, he had appeared gaunt with his head shaved.

The Kremlin said it had no information on the cause of death.

In early December he had disappeared from a prison in the Vladimir region, where he was serving a 30-year sentence on extremism and fraud charges that he had called political retribution for leading the anti-Kremlin opposition of the 2010s. He did not expect to be released during Putin’s lifetime.

A former nationalist politician, Navalny helped foment the 2011-12 protests in Russia by campaigning against election fraud and government corruption, investigating Putin’s inner circle and sharing the findings in slick videos that garnered hundreds of millions of views.

The high-water mark in his political career came in 2013, when he won 27% of the vote in a Moscow mayoral contest that few believed was free or fair. He remained a thorn in the side of the Kremlin for years, identifying a palace built on the Black Sea for Putin’s personal use, mansions and yachts used by the ex-president Dmitry Medvedev, and a sex worker who linked a top foreign policy official with a well-known oligarch.

In 2020, Navalny fell into a coma after a suspected poisoning using novichok by Russia’s FSB security service and was evacuated to Germany for treatment. He recovered and returned to Russia in January 2021, where he was arrested on a parole violation charge and sentenced to his first of several jail terms that would total more than 30 years behind bars.

Putin has recently launched a presidential campaign for his fifth term in office. He is already the longest-serving Russian leader since Joseph Stalin and could surpass him if he runs again for office in 2030, a possibility since he had the constitutional rules on term limits rewritten in 2020.

[bitchalotl]

Harbingers in an unhinged modern-day AU I just cooked up:

Pierro - Bitter ex-minister of the German empire. Tried to prevent ww1 and failed miserably. Went into exile during the years of the Weimar Republic. Current prime minister of the Russian Federation.

Dottore - Infamous Egyptian scientist. Expelled from multiple universities due to faults against ethics. Currently wanted by the egyptian government. Fled the country with the help of the CIA. Later, they betrayed them for the KGB. May or may not have been involved in the creation of supersoldiers Capitano and Columbina as well as the tampering with decomisoned Android model Scaramouche.

Capitano - Early soviet attempt at the creation of a supersoldier following the devastation of ww2 and the tensions of the cold war. Unconfirmed involvement in the soviet invasion of Afghanistan during the 80s and the russian invasion of Ukraine.

Columbina - Escaped soviet experiment. Thought to be an attempt at a new generation of supersoldier. Abandoned after the collapse of the soviet union due to a lack of funding. Subsequently, It escaped russian facilities and presumably remained at large.

Arlecchino - French ww2 orphan. Recruited as a Paris based spy by the KGB during the cold war. Alleged mass murderer. Current director of russian espionage after allegedly murdering the previous director.

Pulcinella - Ex-communist sellout. Has been the mayor of Moscow for many, many years. Regularly accused of electoral fraud.

Scaramouche - Runaway android. Created by the founder of Shogun Robotics. Declared faulty and destined for decommissioning. Vanished from Japan years ago and may have been found in Russia and tampered with by Dottore. Shogun Robotics has since forgotten about this failed model and now produces the aptly named "Shogun" model.

Signora - Former German academic turned mass murderer following the death of her husband, who was a soldier in the French front of ww1. On an unrelated note, the russian ambassador to Germany has an uncanny resemblance to her.

Sandrone - Founder, CEO, and senior engineer of Marionette Technologies. Her technology and weapons manufacturing empire has the russian federation as its biggest client. Her personal information remains a mystery since she does not appear in public. Rival firm of Shogun Robotics.

Pantalone - Current governor of the Central Bank of Russia and former economy minister of the Russian Federation. Has a distinct and fierce hatred of Chinese economic policy. Labeled an oligarch by Western observations. The single wealthiest man in all of Russia.

Childe - Formerly a normal russian kid living in the Ural's region. He became extremely violent and bloodthirsty after an accident where he got lost in the mountains due to heavy blizzards. Eagerly joined the russian armed forces and has since become their poster boy. Has an unwavering loyalty for Russia and it's president.

Tsaritza - Current president of the Russian Federation. Her ancestors were nobility in the times of the russian empire. Is mockingly called "the Tsaritza" by political adversaries and Western press.

[pikablu410]

His Mayoral Duties

“Mayor Bradley! How do you feel now that you’ve just won a second term in office with a surprise landslide victory?!” A man with a microphone asked.

“I’m honored the people of Stocksville have chosen me to lead them again. I’m excited to get back in my office and make changes for the better.” The man confidently said, adjusting his casual yet sleek blue suit. He combed over his curls with his hand to make sure they weren’t frizzled.

“Mayor! To what do you contribute to such a meaningful success?” A blonde woman in a red suit nearly jumped out of the crowd. She, of course, was talking about how a black man, like himself, was the first to win a reelection as mayor in Stocksville.

“I think my policies speak for themselves. Our economy is doing better, crime is at an all time low and people are content with their lives in the city.” The mayor confidently responded.

“And mayor, what do you have to say to those who believe your victory was the result of fraud?” A man asked before being pushed back into the crowd.

If the people had known him personally, or had studied his body language, they would’ve known Scott staggered for a brief moment before responding. “I ask that they wait for the voting office to put out their data, and, for now, work with me in making progress towards a better Stocksville.” He smiled.

“How could they have known?! I was completely certain it would be a secret-” A man with shaggy brown hair walked back and forth before being interrupted by Scott.

“Just shut up! I know my office isn’t rigged with cameras or mics I’m not aware of. There’s no way it could’ve gotten out.” He said, leaning forward onto his desk. 

“Then how would they have known we used dark ma-” Scott almost literally zipped the man’s lips this time.

“Roger. There is absolutely, assuredly, zero reason for people to believe we did anything suspicious other than their own conspiratorial beliefs. We have done nothing wrong, and there’s no proof otherwise.”

Roger wiped the sweat from his neck, “Well…”

Scott glared, “Roger.”

“I’m not saying I kept the book, but-”

“Roger!” Scott growled. A rarity for him.

“What if I need a demon for a hot chick or something? You never know.” Roger, now much more casually, admitted.

“If by ‘demon’ you mean ‘advice’ then sure, but you definitely don’t mean what you said literally, right?” Scott said, with a thick emphasis on the sarcasm.

“Relax Brandon, there’s nothing to worry about. I’m like, ninety-nine percent sure there’s no negative side effects.” Roger started, “You did do what the de- what the advice told you to do, right?”

Brandon sighed, pulling out the greasy takeout bag, “Yeah, I bought a burger after I won. I really don’t get how this was equivalent to whatever that…advice did.” 

He took a large bite out of the burger, finding the taste divine. Scott quickly took another, and then a sip of his soda.

“Woah, slow down their champ. Just because you won doesn’t mean you can’t get sick from eating like that.” Roger advised, but it seemed Brandon wasn’t listening.

“Mmph, sorry,” Scott swallowed the last of his burger, “I don’t know why, but that was the best burger I’ve ever had from McTasties.” Finishing his soda and the fries, Scott went on, “I think I’m gonna get another. They must’ve changed their recipe or something!” 

Roger noticed how Scott wiped the grease onto his blue suit, which, thanks to the dark color, didn’t detract much from it. However, he thought back to how Brandon got pissed off when he spilled water onto a similar suit. 

“Yeah, I’m gonna head home. Call me if you need anything not politics related.” Roger said, the drawstrings of his green and gray hoodie flipping through the air. 

Despite his calm demeanor, Roger was still thinking about his friend’s behavior. Just what was it that they had summoned the night before?

“Destiny! Two more orders of McTasties double cheeseburgers. One with fries and one with onion rings. Of course I want two milkshakes!” Scott said over his newly installed desk microphone. He had gotten tired of constantly walking down to ask her to order him more food. 

“Right away Mayor Bradley. Oh, city council wanted me to notify you that they’re meeting for ordinance 5507 in 10 minutes.” Destiny replied.

Scott smiled and thanked Destiny. He slowly sat up from his chair and walked over to his mirror. His stomach bulged against the white undershirt and blue suit he adorned. A ketchup stain marked the white and a grease one the blue suit. It had been a stressful…2 weeks in office. Scott hadn’t taken the time to think about how he had gained weight so quickly, or how fast time had gone by. 

Regardless, Scott decided to head down to the council room and wait for his colleagues there. 

Opening his doors, he found an unwanted surprise.

“Scott! I really need to talk to you ri-” Roger nearly shouted.

“Can it wait? I have McTasties and a council meeting waiting for me downstairs?” Scott replied, rolling his eyes.

“I really don’t think you should. I’m not sure how much longer you have?” Roger panicked, welcoming himself into Scott’s office.

Raising an eyebrow, Scott now fully entered the conversation, “What, do I have a disease or something?” “You might as well! You know that ‘advice’ we summoned the other night?” Roger asked, using his hands to sign quotation marks in the air, “Well, apparently that deal was just its way to get ahold of you.”

“Wait, you mean I’m possessed?” Scott scoffed at his own words.

“Basically! It’s like an infection,” Roger opened the book Scott had berated him for 2 weeks ago, “The longer you don’t treat it, the more it affects you. This weight you’ve gained isn’t natural.” Roger poked Scott’s belly to emphasize his point, Scott smacking his friend’s hand away.

“So what, I've gained a few pounds. I’ve been stressed and cooped up in this office, I’ll be fine.” Scott said, stifling a belch.

Roger looked at his friend with glazed eyes, “You’ve barely done anything but eat McTasties and watched how the media is praising your election.”

Scott didn’t want to admit it, but as he looked at the greasy takeout wrappers on the floor, Roger was right. He hadn’t done much other than eat and pass a few laws that were already in the works before he was elected. But then, a lightbulb.

Well, a buzz on his desk microphone.

“Mayor Bradley. City council is meeting in 5 minutes now. Also, your McTasties is here.” Destiny rang.

Now with a smug look, Scott smiled at Roger, “I’m actually in the process of passing a new city ordinance right now. And you’re making me late. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

Scott then headed down the hall and towards the city council. Roger looked at the book and sighed. At least this wasn’t going to ruin his life. He hoped.

Entering the city council meeting room with his two bags of McTasties, Scott settled in before the last of the council members arrived. Immediately digging into one of the cheeseburgers and fries, the other city council members stared in shock. 

“Uhm, Mayor Bradley. Mayor Bradley!” An older council member nearly shouted.

“Hmm? What is it?” Scott replied, licking ketchup off of his fingers.

“We’re starting our meeting…is it truly necessary for you to eat your lunch during our meeting?” The older man inquired.

“Oh, I’m almost done with it,” Scott casually replied, sucking down his milkshake, making a loud slurping sound in the process, “You all should try it sometime. Now, where were we?” 

The following months saw historic change for Stocksville. Probably in the most insipid way possible. Ordinance 5507 gave more freedom to “inexpensive food companies” that was cited to help “impoverish citizens attain a more consummate meal.” 

In reality, Scott just wanted more McTasties near city hall and his house, both of which now had 2 within a block. 

Not that Scott walked to the fast food restaurant, but it certainly alleviated the weight on his employees. Though, it didn’t relieve weight in other areas. Within those months, the Bradley office staff had all put on at least 70 pounds of fat. Dozens upon dozens of McTasties orders came to the office each day, a majority of them coming from Scott himself. 

Speaking of the mayor, he had gone up 3 suit sizes in the several months following ordinance 5507, which of course was followed by ordinance 5508, 5509 and 5512. All of which gave the McTasties company more power in Stocksville. 

None of this caused the Bradley office any concern because, like Scott, they had all become addicted to the greasy junk. Seemingly overnight, the town had transformed into some Las Vegas for greasy restaurants. A competitor, Patty’s Burgers, was on the rise and produced even more restaurants for Scott- for the Stocksville citizens to order from. 

Though, not all hope was lost for the town.

“Scooooooottttt!” A man with shaggy brown hair shouted down the hall. The guards were too fat and lazy to stop him from bursting into Scott’s office. “Scott, I’ve found out how to solve this- what the hell happened to you?!” 

The mayor’s first response with a burp, followed by him trying to sit upright in his chair.

“Do you mind, URP, Roger? I’m trying to eat my pre-lunch snack?” Scott replied, taking a chomping bite out of a burger that looked much too large for human consumption. 3 more bags were filled with food next to him on the desk, Roger being able to tell they were filled because he couldn’t take a step in the office without his legs brushing up against an empty one.

“How fucking fat have you gotten? Do you realize what this is all from? That “advice?”” Roger, again, emphasized the word advice.

Scott slurped down a soda before literally dumping a carton of fries into his gaping maw. “What, the fucking demon? Yeah, whatever. Like anyone believes that shit.” He let out a very noticeable fart before going back to chowing down on a burger.

Roger noticed his friend’s new dialect. “Dude, since when did you swear? I thought you had to uphold an image or something.” 

“Yeah, what-fucking-ever. People are so happy with all the McTasties, and now Patty’s! Who cares if I fucking swear!” Scott said with a little too much enthusiasm, finding himself wedged between his office chair, “Damn, this thing is getting old.” “Uhh, yeah. Anyways, I’ve figured out how to stop all this and get back to normal. All you have to do is eat some vegetables and fruit, lose a bit of weight and the possession should slowly go away. If that doesn’t work we’ll need a priest and-” “Bro, you’re actually still on this possession thing? I told you, I’m in complete control.” Scott said, taking a final bite out of his burger. 

Then, a squeak was heard, followed by a snap and then Scott falling to the ground. Rips could be heard behind the desk as the mayor sat behind his desk.

“Fuck…that actually felt kinda good.” Scott mumbled to himself.

Roger, however, was much more worried, “Dude! Are you alright?!” He went behind Scott’s desk to help his friend up.

He immediately noticed that one of the buttons on his suit had burst off from the fall, leaving a portion of Scott’s belly wide open to the public. As he helped heft his friend up, Roger noticed that Scott’s pants were now torn at his thighs, exposing a significant amount of cellulite. After helping Scott up, the fat man waddled to the mirror in his office. 

“Damn, I don’t look too bad.” Scott admired himself. Roger hadn’t taken the time to notice in his rush to save his friend, but as his friend looked on in the mirror, he really saw how far Scott’s appearance had fallen. The once well-shaved man now had a scruff that was forming a goatee, and the same furry situation could be said for his now-exposed belly. His suit was tattered with stains, and had torn in places Scott hadn’t even noticed. 

“Scott I really think you should reconsider-”

“Roger, my time in office has been incredibly successful. Employment is at an all time low. People who were starving in the streets now have homes and food! Public transportation goes all over the city and our economy is thriving and healthy. All because I’ve invested in McTasties and fast food restaurants.” Scott went on, looking over the city, then back at Roger, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed your extra weight too.” He poked Roger in his belly, to which the pale man sheepishly backed off.

“Just listen to me dude, I think something is really wrong. I mean, how did you even convince the city council to get all of this done? Aren’t they notorious for stopping all your ideas?” Roger asked.

Scott smiled devilishly, braggin, “They attributed it to my “charisma.” They’ve really fallen for me.” He walked over to Roger and put his arm around his friend, “Look me in the eyes when I tell you this, Roger.”

Listening to his friend, Roger looked into Scott's eyes, but they weren’t Scott’s. They glowed a deep red, and were almost…hypnotizing.

“Go get yourself some McTasties on your way home. Tell them it’s on me, they’ll cover it.” Scott ordered, very persuasively. 

Roger couldn’t help but slowly nod his head and turn around to leave Scott’s office. He could really go for a McTasties burger.

The next month saw Mayor Bradley’s only roadblock in his reign of ordinances. A group called “Alternatives for Health” rose to political distinction as a, you guessed it, alternative to Scott’s campaign. Not that there would be an election any time soon, but they aimed to rally support against all of the fast food-centric regulations that had recently been put in place. Lobbying Scott’s office near daily, they would’ve annoyed the hell out of any other group in office.

But, by this point, Scott’s staff had grown too fat and tired to care. 

“URRRRRP, Desti-URRRRRRP. Destiny, where’s m’ damn order of fries?” A sweaty, double-chinned, bearded face mumbled over the desk microphone. When there wasn’t a response in 5 seconds, he repeated himself. “Destiny! URRRRRP, I need m’ afta’noon snack!” 

“It’s, URP, on its way now. Sorry, thought it was for me.” A voice that was distinctly deeper than it was 4 months ago replied. 

Just then, several bags of greasy food then came elevated up through a small nightstand-like desk. Grumbling as he slowly stood up from a wider chair, the fat mayor waddled to the bags of food. Not bothering to waddle back to his desk, he plopped his fat ass down on the ground and started devouring the food. 

“God…this ain’t gonna be enough…it’s sho good…gonna need more…” Scott trailed off, plowing through the food like he had the littered takeout bags in his office. Sweat poured down his barely clothed body, pooling into the rolls that were made from hours of eating. A white wifebeater and black basketball pants were what Scott adorned, since nothing else fit and he had to keep up “public decency,” whatever the hell that was.

A voice annoyingly came through his microphone desk.

“Mayor you, URRRRRP, have a visitor.” Destiny rang.

Grumbling again, the mayor heaved his beanbag-esq belly off the ground and waddled back to his oversized chair.

“Send ‘em up!” Scott said, farting as he settled back into his chair. Just moving across the room had gotten him drench in his own salty perspiration. He rubbed his hairy, sweaty belly to coax out more gas before his visitor arrived. Though, he figured he already knew who it was.

“URRRP, Scott, I got more sco-URRRRRP-op on that health group.” Roger barged in. The trip to McTasties a month ago had treated Roger well. Some might’ve said a little too well. But Scott said it hadn’t treated him well enough, and sent his friend back for more.

“Good man! Whadda they want? URRRRRRP” Scott belched out, not bothering to stop eating. 

Pulling out a bunch of graphs and research papers, Roger messily placed them all over Scott’s desk.

“So basically, URRRRP, ‘scuse me. Basically they’re tryna’ prove that bein’ fat is bad. Apparently it raises your chance for “heart disease” and “cholesterol related illnesses” but I haven’t heard of anyone hospitalized for those things recently.” Roger explained.

Scott’s brain was still trying to process the papers in front of him. Months ago these would’ve made sense, but for some reason he could barely comprehend the words. Words like ‘arthritis,’ ‘artery,’ and ‘high fructose’ were hard to read. Almost like he was realizing his descent into slobdom, Scott almost put the pieces together.

That was, until Roger shoved the straw to a milkshake in his mouth.

“Ya looked starved. Thank god I brought more McTasties.” Roger said, with Scott eagerly reaching for the bags with his sausage arms. 

Roger rubbed his own exposed, pale belly that pushed out underneath his green hoodie. Surprisingly, the same hoodie from 4 months ago still fit the growing lard boy, but he was too addicted to the junk most of Stocksville ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner to be bothered to notice.

“So,” Scott pause for a monumental fart, “Heh, that was a nice one. Anyways, what’re we talkin’ about?” 

“This, uh, health group.” Roger explained.

“Oh yeah, how do we get rid of them? They’re gettin’ in the way of me buildin’ more McTasties.” Scott shoveled another handful of onion rings into his mouth. Roger couldn’t even tell what was grease and what was sweat on the man’s face.

“Jus’...lemme handle it.” Roger smiled, with Scott appreciating the simple reply. “How’s the move goin’?” 

Processing the question, Scott remembered he had ordered the leanest of his staff to move his home necessities to his office. 

“Awesome dude! I got a TV and internet, so I’m basically set. All I need is a personal McTasties and I’d never have to leave.” Scott replied, his rolls and moob jiggling as he went to wipe sweat from his forehead. 

“Sounds like the next ordinance at city council.” Roger smirked.

Scott belched and threw an empty milkshake cup into the trash pile that littered the room. “Oh, I disbanded that. They all got too lazy to come. So now they put their trust in me to make the laws.”

Roger’s eyes perked up at those words. “You’re just telling me now?!” Scott let out more gas and continued to eat, “Sorry, forgot I guess.” 

Roger went over to Scott and leaned against his a fat roll.

“My friend, it’s a good thing you’ve started moving; I don’t think you’ll be leaving your office for a while.”

“Whaddare they sayin’? M’ fuckin’ tits r’ blockin’ m’ vision.” A fat blob of a man whined. 

“Hold on Scott I gotta turn up the volume.” A less fat, but still incredibly massive, man replied. The less fat man placed a milkshake in between the blobbish man’s moobs, with the latter eagerly sucking down the contents of the cup.

“Roge-URRRRRRRRRRRP. Whaddare they sayin’ damnit!” Scott whined again, finishing the milkshake in record time. 

Roger smirked and smacked Scott’s immense belly, “You’ve got no opposition m’ friend. You’re running unopposed next election.” 

The wide man forgot to mention how he had gotten a few of the skinnier interns to infiltrate Alternatives for Health’s own office and sneak McTasties into their diet. A combination of this and tactically cutting off their funding so fast food was all they could afford spiraled to a quick downfall of their opposing organization. Scott let out a fart from the pressure on his belly, smiling nonetheless. “Thas…URRRRRRPP…fuckin’ awesome.” He unabashedly stated. 

“Still it’ll be Stocksville’s first mayor who’s a human blob. And I don’t think it’ll be the last.” Roger stated, planting a kiss on Scott’s greasy lips.

Scott let out more gas, drool and more greasy getting into his beard, “Huh? Did ‘m new order come yet?” Scott had gotten a one-track mind. Which might have been a good thing had he not been corrupted with greasy takeout. The naked blob of a man now never left his office. Not that he could, given his recent immobility in the past month. His thighs were as thick as a hog plumped for a Christmas dinner, leading to an ass that was as large as his belly just months ago. Whenever the man moved, either to let out gas, to try to see the TV, or, recently, to pleasure himself, his entire body jiggled as if shockwaves were sent through him.

Arms hung uselessly at his sides, sitting on rolls upon rolls of fat. His face was basically just his unkept goatee, his several chins, greasy, and sweat. Oh christ the sweat. It was as if Scott had constantly come back from a workout at the gym, but his workout was simply processing thoughts and eating his McTasties meals. It got tangled in his hairy body and made the entire office smell like a sports locker room.

“Scott, ‘m back with your pre-pre-brunch snack!” Roger reassured the massive man. 

Roger hadn’t faired much better after being ‘convinced’ by Scott to try McTasties. He was also shirtless, but wore underwear that had definitely seen better days. Just their yellow coloring and greasy stains were enough to paint a detailed picture. His gut rested over these underwear, looking like a dad who had recently gotten divorced and hit the liquor store too much, though with a more jiggly belly. He looked like Scott did just months ago, which didn’t bode well for his future. “Anything I can get for ya while I’m up babe?” Roger asked, opening his phone to see the news about Alternatives for Health.” The two had started dating because of what Scott again contributed to his “charisma.” They were basically inseparable now, Roger serving at Scott’s beck and call.

“Actually, fuck, yeah.” Scott said through mouthfuls of food, “Call in ‘n intern an’ suck me off.” Giving a knowing smile, Roger leaned against his massive boyfriend’s belly. He slowly got on his belly and crawled under Scott’s massive belly. They had done this enough times that Roger knew where to go in the sweaty expanse.

As an intern walked in and started to feed Scott, the immense man started to let out some affirming swears. Roger knew he found his goal.

“URP, Mayor Bradley, what will you do to, uh, ya know, make sure our city stays great?” An interviewer asks over a video call.

“I’ll, uhm, URRRRRRRRP, uh, yeah.” Scott replied.

They were all too fat to do professional interviews in-person anymore. Not that it mattered. They only had one choice anyways. Thank god they weren’t doing this in-person anyways. Scott barely fit in frame on the Zoom call. He barely fit in his office anymore. An amalgamation of sweaty, hairy fat. 

“Great response, babe.” Roger egged his boyfriend on. He was nearing immobility too, struggling to get up and feed Scott nowadays. The interns took care of that for them.

The interviewer, clearly struggling to paint Mayor Bradley in a good light, asked another question. “To what do you contribute your, URRRRRP, successes.”

Scott nearly went cross-eyed. He let out a far that was audible on camera before responding. “More, URRRRRRRRRP, McTasties. Thas what’ll do!” He slurred.

The interviewer smiled and said, “Excellent idea!” 

“They should, PFFFFFFFFFTTTTT, vote fa’ me jus’ ‘cus ‘m hot.” Scott gobbled down multiple burgers after the interview. Grease splattered all over him, and the walls. And his rolls. And his tits.

“That’s a gr-URRRRRRRRRRP-great idea babe!” Roger continued to egg on the massive man. 

It was a wonder nobody realized how their demon, oh sorry, ‘advice’, had caused all of this. Roger didn’t do a very good job at hiding the evidence once he got a bite of McTasties.

If anyone had the brains to realize what was going on, they’d know their mayor hadn’t any.

That was okay, though. A quick bite of McTasties would fix their worries. Thank god they were expanding to other cities nearby.

[autisticagainstthemachine]

So, after getting over my executive dysfunction, I started my third Gravity Falls rewatch today and noticed a very funny detail I had to share with you guys, since I've never seen it in any memes before:

During episode 8 of season one, "Irrational Treasure", if you pause the show while Dipper is reading Nathaniel Northwest's file for Mabel, you're actually able to read what's written on the page and it is simply HILARIOUS.

Alex Hirsch is a gem, so I can't say he didn't predict people would pause it and read at some point, but, as I said, I've never seen anyone talking about it.

Allow me to transcribe it, in case the pictures aren't legible:

"The Northwest Cover-up

Let it be here recorded...Nathaniel Northwest, famous in his native Gravity Falls for standing in the park and hitting himself with a large boating oar until he blacked out, was chosen to become the patsy mayor of Gravity Falls. Northwest spoke in a series of grunts and screams and often yelled his trademark phrase: "I am going to eat this entire oak three because I am a powerful wizard!"

The fabled founder of Gravity Falls was, in fact, a fraud. His last moments on Earth were spent choking on a giant piece of bark, attempting to live out his beautiful dream. He was hated by everyone that knew him. He will not be missed.

Other hidden historical truths include:

Thomas Jefferson was actually just two kids in an overcoat standing on each other's shoulders. The current and forever President of the United States is actually Santa Claus. Under the reign of Mr. Claus, America is not a democracy, but a jollyocracy. The statues in Mount Rushmore are actually gigantic presidential-faced robots that will be called into action when America needs them the most. An enormous, evil, time-devouring baby from another dimension is frozen in an Antarctic glacier. Fortunately, glaciers never melt, so we should be fine. Writing jokes for cartoons is more important than sleep. If you recite the pledge of allegiance backwards, you'll gain secret wizard powers! (This one is true, kids! Try at home!)

The true founder of Gravity Falls was:

Sir Lord. Quentin Trembley, III, ESQ."

[stupittmoran]

Top 10 headlines the media didn't tell you this week, Repost & FoIIow for more

Salesforce CEO is quietly buying up land in Hawaii.

Tucker Carlson claims that the 2020 election was 100% stolen.

Google loses over $70 billion in market value after Gemini AI was exposed as being woke.

Mayor of Athens, Georgia says Laken Riley's death is “not connected” to illegal immigration.

Donald Trump receives cheers from immigrants at the southern border.

Elon Musk's Grok AI will have the ability to summarize lengthy laws BEFORE Congress sneaks them through.

Investigative Journalist's firing sparks Congressional Inquiry into CBS News.

Russian forces arrested a man for a planned attack on Tucker Carlson, allegedly orchestrated by Ukraine's Intelligence.

Calls to shut down Gemini after Google's AI chatbot refused to say if Hitler or Elon Musk is worse.

The Pentagon is investigating over 50 cases of theft, fraud, and corruption linked to Ukrainian aid.

Is it time to stop Funding this endless war?

If you appreciate this Top 10 recap, remember to Repost and FoIIow me for another week in a clown world 🤡🌎

[jacquesthepigeon]

I'm a French person so forgive me if my English isn't good.

So I just got into Miraculous Ladybug, and I must say, the disproportionately unrealistically is amusing to me.

Andre Bourgeois would've have been kicked out of office for his abuse of power around his first term. Like seriously, the show portrays the citizens of Paris as unaware and lacking a backbone, when France (especially Paris) do not take abuse of power by the government lying down. Literally a year ago the entirety of France went on a nationwide strike and threatened to burn down Paris because the government wanted to raise the retirement age by 2 years. There is no conceivable way that people in the show would just bow down to the whims of the Mayor just because his stupid daughter threw a tantrum. And after Miracle Queen, he would have his head paraded on the streets. I'll be honest, the French have a proven track record of being prepared to burn Paris to the ground over most issues. It's pretty much our go-to mode of political expression. I doubt that the mayor prioritizing his stupid daughter over the wellbeing of his citizens would go over well.

Audrey Bourgeois should be facing lawsuits. This woman has been stated many times to fire her workers on a whim. Like I said before, French people are not lacking in backbone and the Style Queen should be facing lawsuits on the grounds of wrongful termination. Also, why isn't her awful behavior all over the news? Her image should be severely affected for the reasons mentioned above.

Chloe, Sabrina, and Lila should be expelled and facing criminal charges. Not only do we see Chloe, Lila, and Sabrina commit several crimes over the course of the series (i.e. theft, wasting emergency resources, fraud, academic fraud, harassment, physical assault, slander and defamation, destruction of property, breaking and entering, aiding and abetting terrorism), but bullying itself is illegal in France and considered a serious crime, especially in Paris. If it's reported with proof it can be taken to the police and the school board and the perpetrator can face up to three years of jail time along with a fine of 30,000 euros. All it would take is a single video of Chloe and her future would be as good as ruined due to the bullying and also the criminal record that she should have.

The President should've been involved since the beginning. The President lives in Paris, yet has done nothing about the Hawkmoth and Andre Bourgeois problem??? The only form of resistance we've seen outside of heroes were the occasional police force interference and the civilians fighting in heroes day (may favorite moment of the show).

Francios Dupont should be under intense investigation or completely shut down. Why is no one concerned that the highest rate of akumitizations come from a class of high school students? What do their parents think? Why is no one of authority investigating Hawkmoth's base of operations? It would realistically be the best lead that they have to finding out Hawkmoth's identity. The parents of the students should have either pulled the kids out or called up the school board with their concerns because there is no way a normal person would think that their child would be safe in an environment that is fermenting with negativity.

This is all that I could think of on the top of my head and probably the most glaring plot holes. Really, for a show written by French people, it is as far away from French that you can get.

Urban fantasy genre and all that but it’s really funny how the creator swears up and down the show (or it’s concept in general) can’t be written by anyone non french when there’s so much bull involved

[billspotts]

While the streets of the country are full of people calling fraud and with opposition leaders Edmundo González Urrutia and Maria Corina Machado showing the tallies that demonstrate their victory, The National Telecommunications Commission (Conatel), the state agency responsible for regulating, supervising, and controlling telecommunications is giving direct orders to radio stations to maintain an editorial posture that prohibits the transmission of news that they consider “violates elements classified as violence.”

Even though this is communicated via WhatsApp, this entity is calling directly to the owners and producers of media outlets to specifically mandate that they can’t report nothing related to Machado, González, protests or the data from NGOs that reveal deaths, injuries, and arbitrary detentions by security forces and colectivos. According to local NGOs and media, 19 people were killed in the context of protest, and 711 have been victims of arbitrary detentions and 119 of enforced disappearance.

Four hundred media outlets, including print media, radio, TV channels, and digital platforms in Venezuela, have been shut down by the government in the last 20 years, according to Espacio Publico, an NGO that promotes and defends freedom of expression in the country.

The few left are now being threatened.

The persecution of press workers throughout the country accompanies the radio silence. The National Union of Press Workers (SNTP), the Press and Society Institute (Ipys), and Espacio Público, three organizations defending freedom of expression in Venezuela, have collected reports showing an escalation of repression:

Shots: in Trujillo, colectivos shot at the residence of journalist Alexander González, of Diario Los Andes and Unión Radio.

Wounded: Jesús Romero, director of the Código Urbe portal, was shot in the abdomen by members of the Bolivarian National Guard (GNB). He was covering a demonstration on Monday in Maracay (Aragua).

Online threats: The correspondent of Channel I in Sucre state, Dreully Barrios, is being investigated by pro-government supporters for her coverage of the protests. In Carabobo, a discrediting campaign is circulating through Whatsapp messages, with photos of 12 journalists from the region.

Arrest warrants: the content creator, Francisco Lunar, warned that the mayor of Guanta, Natali Bello, issued an arrest warrant against him for publishing images of street demonstrations.

Maduro also wants to hide from the rest of the world what is happening. International correspondents have been detained, threatened, and deported.

[hopepetal]

Welcome to villain Hotguy and the Scarlet Witch! Based off of this post by yours truly! Enjoy!

Hotguy was a very well-known hero. Not only that, but he was well-liked. So much so, in fact, that he was rarely ever out of the public eye. It was hard, after all, to be so famous and still be able to sneak around the city as he once did as a teenager. Not helped at all by his signature colours and outfit that stood out from the general populace, Hotguy always found it quite difficult to visit his boss.

Not his “boss” as the civilians of the city knew it. Hotguy felt his lips curl up in a disgusted sneer just thinking about that fraud that called himself the mayor of the city. It made him sick to his stomach just to recall those fake smiles, pressed suits, greasy hair and poisonous words.

No, his true boss was one he once greatly feared. They had been enemies at one point, even, before Hotguy had discovered the true horrors of the city's council and what they had done to Cuteguy. After a thorough butt-kicking, Hotguy had been offered a place not necessarily by her side, but still on her side. That had been enough for him and he had taken the offer gladly, working under the notorious Scarlet Witch to expose the corruption of the government.

As he walked down the darkened hallway, Hotguy couldn't help but admire the amount of effort that went in to maintaining the “villainous ambiance” if he did say so himself. He wasn't sure if it was more because of the Scarlet Witch being a moth hybrid and therefore a little more sensitive to light than most, but whatever the reason was, the whole low light kind of deal made everything just a little more spooky.

Hotguy's boots clicked against the hard gray floors as he made his way to the large, ornate door. He had never really figured out what the floor was made out of, and had stopped asking after the Scarlet Witch had responded with “the bones of my former soulmates” and winked at him. Which, one, terrifying, and two, he was dating Cuteguy. So. He was fairly certain he was not the Scarlet Witch's soulmate.

Stopping at the door, Hotguy took a deep breath. He raised a hand and knocked once, twice, thrice upon the wooden panels, grabbing the doorknob and pushing at the light “come in!” that rang out from inside. In true Scarlet Witch fashion, she was sitting in a comfortable chair behind a desk, the curtains closed tightly behind her. Hotguy did not question the decision of the builders who put windows in the room of someone as light sensitive as the Scarlet Witch, at least not out loud.

Having donned her signature red cloak and hood along with a white dress shirt tucked into black leggings, the Scarlet Witch wore a light smile on her face. The upper half of her face was covered by the masquerade ball-esque mask not even Hotguy had seen her without, but her expressions came across through her body language. She was happy, having clearly heard about the successful mission Hotguy just returned from. “Take a seat!” she exclaimed, gesturing to the chair across from her on the opposite side of the desk.

Hotguy sat, leaning back in the chair with a bright smile on his face. “Well hello there, Scarlet! Fancy seeing you here!” he said, like he wasn't fully aware that this was the Scarlet Witch's office. “I'm guessing you got the good news?”

The Scarlet Witch nodded, leaning forward and clasping two of her four hands in front of her on the desk. “You found Cuteguy and successfully extracted him from the facility alongside the vigilante Redstone Man?”

“You know it!” Hotguy's smile fell for a moment. “It was pretty bad. We got him to the private hospital though, so he'll be right as rain soon enough!”

The Scarlet Witch hummed thoughtfully, continuing to nod. “I hope that is the case. What is the status of the Listener and the Canary?”

Hotguy shrugged. “Weren't present, so I guess they had bigger fish to fry. I know something was going on downtown but I didn't really pay attention to it. Something about potatoes... Redstone Man vehemently denied any sort of involvement which makes me think he's involved, but hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.”

The Scarlet Witch sighed, breathing out a soft chuckle. “Vigilantes. Always so... interesting.” Her word choice left much to be said, but Hotguy could kinda figure it out from her tone.

“Yep! Life certainly wouldn’t be the same without them!” Hotguy chirped, thinking back fondly on all of his encounters with Redstone Man and Potato Boy. Despite them insisting they were not the same person, Hotguy knew they absolutely were but decided to humor them. “Right, so that was kind of about all I had for now. Did you have a next move for us, or…?”

The Scarlet Witch shook her head. “I should have a plan by our next weekly meeting with the others, but all I wanted to do at the moment was check in with you and make sure my bro- that Cuteguy was alright.” All four of her hands tightened into fists. “I swear that the ones who did this will pay,” she got out from in between clenched teeth, “no one hurts an ally of the Scarlet Witch and gets away with it. No one.” 

Hotguy kept the smile on his face despite the fear that ran ice cold through his veins. He held in a shudder as he subconsciously hugged himself. “Right, of course! Same goes for good ol’ Hotguy over here. No one hurts my friends! That’s the Hotguy promise!”

The Scarlet Witch gave him a wry smile. “You’re a good friend, Hotguy, and a good person to  have on my side. I’m glad I kicked your butt that day.”

Hotguy let out an exasperated huff. “You only slightly kicked my butt, and I was distracted-!”

“Uh-huh, I’m sure. Let’s go with that.” The Scarlet Witch stood, walking around to Hotguy’s side of the desk. She gestured for him to stand and follow her, and he did, following after as she walked to the door. “I’ll see you at the next meeting, then. I’m heading out myself, but I wish you a safe trip home.” She opened the door and held it for Hotguy before slipping out after him. 

Thanking her for the kind gesture, Hotguy nodded. “You as well. Don’t get kidnapped or something, m’kay?”

Although he couldn’t see her face, Hotguy knew she was giving him the most deadpan stare right now. “Yeah, because that’s something I have to worry about.” She turned and began walking away, raising a hand in goodbye without turning back. 

Hotguy let out a sigh, and began his own journey back home. He’d have to take the back alleys, of course, but he didn’t mind. He was just glad to have his boyfriend back, even if Cuteguy was in the hospital for the time being. It was a start on the long road to recovery, and Hotguy was optimistic even as he recalled how fragile Cuteguy had been, strapped to the operating table in that paper thin gown, completely oblivious to the world around him.

The image of how Hotguy had found his boyfriend and “nemesis” as the public thought, with Cuteguy being a villain, made his chest ache with a grief he didn’t understand. Cuteguy wasn’t dead, he was alive and on the mend thanks to Hotguy! As he ducked into the alleyway, Hotguy figured it was the self blame coming back to eat at him again. Logically, he knew he had done all he could, but Cuteguy’s capture had still been some of his fault-

Nope! Not thinking about that! Just get home, go pet Jellie, and cry about everything in bed! That sounded like a great plan. 

And that was exactly what he did.

[wyrmswears]

>calls himself the biggest athena cykes fan

>probably hasn't drawn her in ages

WYRM IS A FRAUD!!! UNFOLLOW HIM NOW!!!

WHY ARE YOU COMING INTO MY HOUSE JUST TO BULLY ME,,, MAYBE IVE BEEN WRITING ATHENA, HUH!? ATHENA IS ARRESTED AU SNIPPET BE UPON YOU!!!

As they approached, Cykes slipped the round metallic object into her trouser pocket.

Apollo eyed where it had disappeared and considered asking her about it, but with her fingers already reaching for her moon charm he decided it wasn’t worth stressing her about. Besides, there was something more on his mind.

“You knew all along, didn’t you? That Mayor Tenma was the Amazing Ninetales?” It was partly a bluff, but he was well enough versed in them to know that he had a good chance of being right here. Apollo had reached more than a dead end trying to figure out how L’Belle could have disguised himself well enough that Mayor Tenma’s own daughter would’ve fallen for it; it was only when the prosecution pointed out her reluctance to admit of a possible disguise that the pieces had truly clicked, and Apollo was starting to wonder if Prosecutor Blackquill was truly bragging out of his own confidence or if he himself had been a victim to the power of suggestion.

She fiddled with her ponytail, fingers combing through the ginger strands. “I had a suspicion. You were the ones to really figure it out though.”

“Thank you, Miss Cykes.” Apollo relented. He was starting to realise that perhaps he had been too harsh on her, making dangerous assumptions from too little information. It seemed that he had reached the point in the case that it was time to turn around his thinking. “I mean it.” He added, wanting to assure her of his newfound sincerity while wondering how much of his distrust she had picked up of his over the last couple days. If you had asked him before this case, he would have never thought that he would be so scared of a psychologist.

Miss Cykes paused, and studied him for a moment. It was almost enough to make him wonder if that was how his witnesses felt under his perception; the creeping feeling of being seen straight through was beginning to establish itself as omni-present when around her. After a moment, she shook her head. “Athena”, she stated, her voice oddly serious. “Please, I prefer to be called Athena.”

“Oh.” Apollo paused, trying to think of what to say, but Trucy broke the lull in conversation as she swung an arm around his neck (almost toppling him over in the process) and leant towards Miss Cy- Athena with a wide grin.

“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, Athena!” She hummed, swinging on her feet.

Athena paused for a moment and stared blankly at them both, in the same thoughtful way she always does. Then, her shoulders relaxed. “It’s nice to meet you too, Trucy. Apollo.”

And at that moment, she smiled in front of them for the first time.

It was not a cruel smile, not like Apollo would have suspected of her when he first heard of her status as an inmate; instead it’s gentle and shy, but it’s the kind that Trucy relishes in most when she finally extracts it from her audience, and Apollo can tell by the way she straightened at his side that she was taking it in with even more satisfaction than he was.

And if Trucy looked like the only thing keeping her from inviting Athena to Eldoon’s noodles was the detective waiting to escort her away… well, Apollo thought to himself, they’ve had weirder allies.

[glittter-vamp]

Curious to know what you think is going on with Tr*mp

I don’t want to get too into it and sound like a conspiracy theorist but it seems that a lot of people in swing states are complaining about their ballot not being counted when they went and checked that status of their ballot.

It’s also a bit weird to me that people were still in super long lines voting when states were being called for him & North Carolina specifically I find odd seeing that they elected a lot democratic candidates including a democratic mayor but he somehow won presidency there?

plus a known supporter of his was raided in FL a day ago that had DCIS agents there which handle cases like fraud, corruption & bribery…

Then seeing how quiet he is… the vibes are just weird. Also the way Kamala conceded so easily & how she mentioned justice in her speech is sort of read between the lines moment to me… idk the vibes are super off to me and I think people should just stay alert & pay attention to the news for the next few weeks just incase.

And this is all I’ll say on this matter & this is all my own opinion and speculation.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Michael de Adder :: @deAdder

* * * *

Neutrality in the face of fascism is cowardice

October 26, 2024

Robert B. Hubbell

Jeff Bezos ordered the Washington Post Editorial Board not to make an endorsement in the 2024 presidential race. In a puerile op-ed justifying the Post’s decision, its publisher (and Rupert Murdoch acolyte), William Lewis, wrote the following:

Our job at The Washington Post is to provide through the newsroom nonpartisan news for all Americans, and thought-provoking, reported views from our opinion team to help our readers make up their own minds.

“Non-partisan” does not mean “amoral,” “cowardly,” or “complicit.” Neutrality in the face of fascism is cowardice—or worse. As publisher William Lewis acknowledges in his op-ed, Bezos's decision will forever be viewed as a “tacit endorsement” of one candidate—Donald Trump.

I will not belabor the point of why the Post should have condemned Trump's candidacy and endorsed Kamala Harris. But it is worth recalling the criminal corruption that has marked Trump's tenure—leaving aside gaping wounds like his mismanagement of the Covid pandemic.

Among Trump's other crimes, he

Threatened to withhold US military aid to Ukraine as part of a bribe or attempted extortion to force Ukraine to fabricate politically damaging information about Joe Biden

Engaged in “multiple acts” of obstruction of justice to interfere in Robert Mueller’s investigation

Plotted and attempted a coup to stop the count of the electoral ballots in 2020

Incited an insurrection to stop the count of the electoral ballots in 2020

Made repeated false claims of election fraud in 2020

Urged the DOJ to send a false letter to state legislatures claiming that widespread fraud justified overturning the will of the people

Refused to return national defense documents after the FBI and National Archive demanded their return

Lied about the nature of payments to an adult film star in the weeks before the 2016 election to mislead the American people about his lack of moral fitness to serve as president

There is more—including Trump's repeated threats to prosecute members of the media, his political opponents, and law enforcement officials who are prosecuting him. And let’s not ignore his threats to use the military against American citizens and to deport ten million immigrants.

In the face of the above record, William Lewis claims it would be “partisan” to publish an opinion that Donald Trump is unfit to be president. William Lewis is a liar who apparently believes the American people are stupid. As Santiago Mayor (@SSantiagoMayor) said on Twitter, “Funny how no newspaper had an issue with their editorial boards calling on Biden to withdraw.”

The Washington Post is not endorsing Kamala Harris because doing so would be contrary to Jeff Bezos's profiteering agenda. On the same day that Bezos ordered WaPo not to endorse Kamala Harris (which the Editorial Board was prepared to do), Trump met with representatives of Bezos’ struggling space flight company, Blue Origin. See The Verge: Donald Trump meets with Blue Origin execs the same day WaPo declines to endorse a presidential candidate.

Jeff Bezos is one of the world’s richest men but is afraid that one of his hundreds of companies might suffer financially under a Trump presidency unless Bezos grovels before Trump. That is all it takes to break Jeff Bezos—the fear of losing a small slice of his obscene fortune.

What a small and pathetic man! Like Elon Musk, Bezos’s wealth cannot conceal his deep character flaws and profound insecurity. Even if he managed to be the first human to step foot on Mars in one of his vanity spacecraft, he will forever be remembered as a coward who buckled before Donald Trump at the first sign of trouble.

The cowardice of the Washington Post feels like a gut punch. The number of media outlets willing to speak the truth about Donald Trump is rapidly shrinking. Losing the Post is a difficult blow.

CNN is a lost cause; see this brutal takedown of Anderson Cooper and CNN by podcaster Charlemagne tha God. While it is a long segment, it is worth watching to the end. Anderson Cooper ultimately disclaims any responsibility for imposing moral or ethical judgments in his reporting. He defends his amorality by saying, “I am just asking questions.” CNN could get a four-year-old to ask questions; we don’t need Anderson Cooper to do so.

The collapse of the LA Times, the Washington Post, and the New York Times makes it feel like we are fighting on our own.

Reporters and columnists at the LATimes and Washington Post are asking subscribers not to cancel because they fear for their jobs if their employers go out of business. That may happen in any event. Or the LATimes, WaPo, and NYTimes may become fulltime apologists for the first fascist regime in America.

If that happens, we will be okay. There are a hundred million Americans (and more) who will resist—and prevail. Fascism seems like a good idea to disaffected and angry voters until they realize they are the victims of the fascist regime—along with everyone else.

The energy, commitment, and enthusiasm unleashed by the grassroots movement that emerged in 2017 and was renewed in 2024 by Kamala Harris will not disappear. It is a permanent feature of American politics. It will prevail with or without gutless media outlets like WaPo, CNN, and the LATimes. It is not our job to save them; it is their job to rise to the challenge of MAGA fascism and a changing media landscape.

Readers have been asking me for advice about canceling their subscriptions to the Washington Post. I think it is reasonable to continue their subscriptions or to cancel. It’s a personal choice about tolerance of cowardly behavior vs. the utility of the positive parts of the Post. I have had enough. I cancelled my subscription to WaPo today even though that decision will make writing this newsletter more difficult.

Platforms like Substack will replace the legacy media outlets that surrendered to fascism. We should welcome the resignations of every news reporter and opinion writer from WaPo and LATimes to Substack. They will make this platform stronger and more liberal, tolerant, and fair-minded.

We must not allow the collapse of the Washington Post to distract or deter us. The election remains close—but we have momentum and enthusiasm on our side. Kamala Harris remains “on-message,” energetic, and joyful at the very moment that Donald Trump is descending further into darkness and delusion.

Stay strong. Be confident. We aren’t going away. Our nation needs us and we must remain steadfast in its defense—regardless of what the cowards at WaPo and LATimes do.

Robert B. Hubbell Newsletter

[beardedmrbean]

New York City's deputy mayor for public safety, Phil Banks III, resigned Monday in the latest fallout from the corruption scandal engulfing the administration of Mayor Eric Adams.

"We spoke yesterday and we spoke again this morning and he stated he wants to move on to other things in his life," Adams told NY1. "I wish my good friend well."

Banks' brother, David Banks, resigned as schools chancellor. First Deputy Mayor Sheena Wright, David Banks' wife, is arranging her departure from the administration.

Phil Banks had his phones seized last month as part of a federal investigation into city contracts of how the police department enforced nightlife regulations. David Banks and Sheena Wright had their phones seized as well.

Phil Banks, at one point the highest-ranking uniformed officer in the NYPD, resigned from the department in 2014 amid a different corruption scandal during the prior administration. Federal prosecutors at the time named Banks an unindicted coconspirator.

Adams has pleaded not guilty to a five-count indictment charging him with bribery and fraud. He is resisting calls for his resignation.

"New Yorkers are saying keep doing the job you've been doing," Adams told NY1.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Ruth Ben-Ghat at Lucid:

The benchmark of democratic political systems used to be elections, and the practice of holding elections was often used to determine whether a country could be classified as a democracy. Today, as "electoral autocracies" take hold around the world, that's no longer the case. Many illiberal leaders come to power through elections, and then manipulate the electoral system to get the results they need to stay in office. As the U.S. election approaches, it’s useful to remember that the history of autocracy is the history of war on the idea and practice of free and fair elections. For authoritarian leaders on the right and the left, allowing a population to determine through their votes who is in government and for how long is unthinkable. Why should lesser beings decide the fate of the strongman, who alone can lead the nation to greatness?

Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini derided elections as a “childish game” that had “already humiliated the nation for decades.” Il Duce replaced democratic elections with occasional plebiscites. In 1934, as he prepared to invade Ethiopia and was dealing with increased internal unrest, he staged a vote. Italians were actually weighing in on a purge of the political class: a single list he had approved of nominees for seats in Parliament, with the choices YES or NO. The real point of the exercise was to show Italians and the world that he had popular approval for his governmental measures. To that end, voting was “assisted” by Fascist "poll watchers," (squadrists in black shirts, armed with knives), and the regime’s communications about the vote can be summed up as “vote yes or else,” in the Fascist manner. This propaganda piece, on the façade of Palazzo Braschi in the center of Rome, depicted Mussolini's face as a kind of death mask, suggesting what could happen to those who voted no. The result of the plebiscite --99.85% YES, and only .15% NO--suggests that Italians got the message.

Today’s autocrats may keep elections going, but they won’t hesitate to game the competition by finding ways to silence rivals. Here’s Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan in 2018 when CNN asked him if he was a dictator. "Here we have a ballot box...the democracy gets its power from the people. It's what we call national will," But in advance of the 2023 Turkish presidential contest, Erdoğan sentenced popular Istanbul Mayor Ekrem İmamoğlu to several years in jail. That way İmamoğlu could not be the opposition candidate. The newer autocratic tactic, facilitated by disinformation, is to discredit elections before the election is held so the public will believe you when you say, in the event of defeat, that the whole contest was “rigged” against you or invalidated by fraud. If the authoritarian is able to marshal his party and allies into sustaining the falsehood in public, then the idea of an illegitimate election can gain traction. This is called institutionalized lying: when a lie that is particularly important to the leader and his survival in politics becomes party doctrine. Then anyone who wants to have status in the authoritarian party or state must perform the lie in public, or at least refuse to refute it. Propagandists know that a lie, when repeated with enough frequency, becomes familiar and eventually can be taken as truth.

[...] The outcome of this scenario In Brazil offers an example of gatekeeping as democracy protection. After President Jair Bolsonaro lost the 2022 election, he decided to try and replicate the Donald Trump playbook, claiming that the election was rigged and planning an insurrection for January. Stephen Bannon and Jason Miller were among his advisors. Lack of military participation was among the reasons for the failure of Bolsonaro’s insurrection. Brazil had a military coup in 1964, which led to a military dictatorship that only ended in 1985. Brazilian President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva acted promptly to prosecute participants. In 2023, Bolsonaro was convicted of abuse of power in office and banned from running for office until 2030 for spreading lies about election fraud. In America, Trump, who incited a far bloodier insurrection, continues to maintain he won the 2020 election as he prepares to possibly contest the 2024 outcome. Trump has worked hard for almost a decade to get Americans to give up their quaint ideas about voting as a valued democratic right. He has conditioned them to see democracy as a failing system, and to view elections as an inferior and unreliable way to choose leaders.

Ruth Ben-Ghiat’s Lucid post on how elections are the enemy of the autocrat is a must-read.

[gothhabiba]

Law enforcement officers in Georgia have arrested three top organizers behind a bail fund in Atlanta that has been aiding protesters against Cop City.

Atlanta police arrested the organizers, the CEO, chief financial officer and the secretary for the group behind the Atlanta Solidarity Fund, at their homes on Wednesday morning. According to the Georgia Bureau of Investigation (GBI), the three were charged with money laundering and charity fraud.

Activists called the arrests an escalation in the state’s attempt to crush the Stop Cop City movement, with participants being hit with increasingly harsh charges.

“This is a major escalation –– they’re arresting those who defend the arrested,” wrote Atlanta organizer Micah Herskind. “The implications of these arrests is that not only can you not protest, but you cannot defend those who are arrested for protesting. There is no first amendment in Atlanta.”

In a statement, Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp (R) spoke as though the organizers and other anti-Cop City activists were already found guilty of their charges from the GBI. He said that he was “proud” to have arrested the “criminals” who he says “facilitated and encouraged domestic terrorism,” referring to terrorism charges against Cop City protesters.

The city of Atlanta is pursuing a $90 million plan backed by both Republicans like Kemp and Democratic Mayor Andre Dickens to build an 85-acre police militarization compound in a forest in the area. If built, Cop City would be the nation’s largest police training compound, and activists say that it would only worsen brutality by local police, as evidenced by the violent response to nonviolent protesters — all while razing a forest to do so.

The Twitter account for the Defend the Atlanta Forest/Stop Cop City movement[] pointed out that the Atlanta Solidarity Fund has aided in lawsuits against the Atlanta Police Department over its arrests of a journalist and protesters in the movement. “This is retaliatory,” the group wrote.

Activists have also pointed out that the GBI’s statement about the arrest, as well as Kemp’s, seem to suggest that the state is preparing to use Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) charges against the bail fund, which the Atlanta Solidarity Fund has been predicting for months.

The organizers have said that the state appears to be creating a “flimsy narrative” that the group is a criminal organization. So far, over 40 activists have been charged with domestic terrorism for protesting the compound.