#calls it) is so so so fun EVERYTHING GOES BOOM

[snowshinobi]

got engulfing on 8 pity so I decided to swing for guaranteed Raiden (74 pity) to put the hyper in hyperbloom

[henry7931]

Dealing With My Bullies

Asher:

These three right here; Kyle, Chase, and Jordan have spent majority of my life bullying me. I’ve put with years of name calling, being pushed down, and even having my head put into a toilet.

And I thought I was done with them the second I wrapped up with high school. But unfortunately, everywhere I turn— those assholes are somewhere.

I’ve tried to ignore them, complained to our school, even tried fighting back but for some reason they have it out for me.

So I’m deciding to take a more drastic measure— magic. Well I assume it’s magic, i don’t even know if this is going to work but at this point I’m desperate!

I found this old book of spells inside of a weird book store. The price on it was pretty steep and even the owner of the store warned me to be careful with it.

As I got home and into my room, I looked through all of the different spells that were available for me to plot my revenge. I mean I could turn them all into toads but where’s the fun in that?

Nah! I want something that’s going to shift the dynamics a bit. I want to hear at least one of them give me an apology.

I kept turning through the book when my eye caught this one spell called; ‘Body Transferal.’

My heart started to race a bit as I read what all the spell does, I can literally swap bodies and become one of them. Thats it!

I laid back in bed thinking about which one of the three I wanted to swap bodies with…

You have Kyle who I really think is only pressured by the other two to participate.

Chase who has been terrible to me could work but he’s not the real leader of their crew.

That leaves me with Jordan, the one who started everything. That’s who I’ll become, I’ll swap with Jordan!

I open the book back up and read all of the necessary things to complete the swap.

‘A stormy night, a silver bowl, plant seeds, a portrait of Jordan, and both of our names written down on a piece of paper that’s burned into the bowl.’

I pull my phone out and check the weather… it’s forecasting a big storm… perfect!

I gather all of the necessary things to perform the spell which was pretty easy.

I waited until the time recommended for the spell right around midnight.

I gather everything and start reciting the spell… I follow each step as listed and begin to burn both of our names into the bowl.

Lighting strikes close and I can hear thunder booming in background as I say, “Transfer our souls! I, Asher White and Jordan Gibson!” Over and over again.

Then a loud boom of thunder hits and the power goes off for a second. I close my eyes tight waiting for the spell to kick in.

That’s when the power comes back on and I open my eyes. I turn to my bedroom mirror and see my disappointed face looking back at me.

I take the Spellbook and I chuck it out my window since I’m slightly frustrated it didn’t work.

It was worth a shot I guess, I figured I might as well go to bed and just forget that I even tried something so silly!

As I fall asleep… I start having this weird dream. In it I find myself floating and somehow hovering over my body.

I start floating more and more away from it until I’m outside…

I’m passing streets for miles and I have no control of where I’m going at all.

I get a house and I see this other glowing ball shaped like a person floating right pass me. I can barely see what I’m looking at since I was still moving so fast. Thats when I get a window and see a bedroom with a male body sleeping face down.

Before I can even get a full picture of who it is, I’m forced into him.

That’s when I wake up…

My head jolts up and I feel so groggy. It takes a second for my eyes to adjust and my brain to catch up after that dream.

Almost an entire minute goes by before I can really take in my surroundings. Thats when it hit me… this isn’t my room!

I flip over on the bed and look down at my legs. They’re more tan than mine and my feet are bigger. I wiggle the toes attached to me just to confirm I now control them.

My memory of last night creeps in and then I realize— the spell, it actually worked!

I quickly get out of bed and rush to the closest mirror I could find. That’s when I see what I already expected. Jordan’s reflection looking back at me.

I pull of all of his shirt and start giggling to myself.

I say aloud, “I’m Jordan Gibson”

But then something else sinks in, the freaking Spellbook! I tossed it out my window last night!

I rush through Jordan’s room and put on some of his clothes quickly.

I grab his car keys and head out the door.

As I’m driving down the road, I can’t help but continuously looking at myself in the mirror. You see one of the biggest things I hate about Jordan is my secret lust for him. Actually my real lust for a lot of the jocks that went to school with me.

But in this moment, I don’t feel that same anger anymore. All I can think about is how after I find this Spellbook, I’m going to enjoy exploring his body.

I get to my house and I see my parents drive off. As they pull away, I pull up to the front.

I run over directly under my window where I see the Spellbook lying in the bushes. I quickly grab it and run off.

Before I get into his car I look up at the window and to my surprise I see myself looking down.

I grin up at Jordan who now learning that I have control of his body.

I see my eyes get big and screams. I almost walk away but instead I look around my neighborhood to see no one’s around.

I pull Jordan’s pants down and start shaking his surprisingly huge dick in front of him while sticking his tongue out.

He’s fuming and shouting but I can’t hear him the glass. I see him rush from the window and I bolt it to his car with his flapping all over the place.

I pull his pants up and star his car. He’s at my front door and charging for me (which is funny seeing my body that angry.)

I pull away just in time and head back to his place. I reach down and fondle his big bulge all the home.

I knew he was going to come here and I really didn’t need him to make a scene.

So I had to think fast, pull out the spell book and dig through until I find a ‘love spell.’

I go into his kitchen and I find all of the necessary things for the spell.

He hasn’t arrived yet so I pull his shirt off and start exploring his body. I grab on to his dick again when I hear a loud knock at the door.

“Oh you’re going to really love yourself Jordan.”

“You better open up!!” I hear my former voice scream.

I grab my new magical potion and walk towards the door.

I let him in and as he begins to charge at me, I lift up the magical potion and toss it right at him.

I close the door and turn around to see my former dazed. His face goes from straight anger to looking almost goofy.

“Asher… you look soo sexy in my body,” he says to me.

“Oh do I?”

“Can I please touch it?”

“Well Jordan you’re going to need to prove yourself to me.”

“Anything for you!”

He gets on his knees and grabs on to his former hands.

“Anything?,” I say with a mischievous smirk.

[riacte]

hermitcraft horror story staring false and ren in which it starts out as a fun silly haha world tour but after they pick up a bag at tango’s storage, they can’t find anyone— at least, anyone that can interact with them in some sort of meaningful way. hermits are afk, mysteriously run away, or turn mute. the world seems frozen in time— storages are empty, shops lack pricetags, creepers hide in doorways. no one talks to them. it’s like the world itself has stopped talking to them, the only sign of movement being the flicker on false’s multipass.

eventually things start getting Really Weird (weird even for their standards) so they hide in ren’s base and lock themselves in. the laika companion robot dog (that false gifted to ren) shows up for emotional support. something bad happens within the colony and they get separated, but they’re both able to navigate the colony (thanks to false’s multipass) and it’s a repeat of the house of nightmares lobby (aka. yelling out each other’s names repeatedly, except this time their voices bounce off empty corridors and echo eerily).

they find each other— or do they? BOOM imposter time (doctor who wild blue yonder style). false is instantly suspicious and keeps 10 blocks away from imposter ren (but she does this to the real ren anyway). ren is the complete opposite and goes omg false i found you :D let’s work this out together :DDD. imposter!ren desperately tries to convince the extremely paranoid false. meanwhile ren babbles to imposter!false who nods along. but false of course finds out the imposter is an imposter in a badass “the colonel calls me riza when we’re alone” way and instantly strikes. meanwhile our ren reveals he’s known the imposter false was fake from the start and was lulling her into a false sense of security so he could trap her (knowing he can’t beat her in pvp — this is also a reference to his demise 2 kill). false and ren reconcile. they also reconcile with the robot dog. and the space rats.

eventually they figure out a way to reset the server and turn it back normal with the power of twaddle and technobabble. the key ingredient is the macguffin— squirtiflora. and maybe chives. idk. anyways they twaddle their way back into reality because their back and forth twaddle feedback loop can break dimensions.

everything seems normal. they return the cursed bag to tango’s storage. they finally encounter a hermit (it does not matter who) and false and ren are too relieved to put on their salesman bit. it’s all smiles and giggles, the two leave, the hermit returns to their business. their smile fades. there’s an ominous pause.

false says bye to ren and returns to her base. the phantoms are still in their boats. maybe it’s a little quiet, or maybe it’s just the lack of ren.

unbeknownst to her, inside her pocket, her name on the multipass jolts. something flickers across the screen. then it powers off. her name is gone.

ren is cheerfully humming and making his way around his base and checking up on everything. but then something stops him in his tracks.

in sea of healthy plants, there is one dead plant— the first plant false created for him.

[seongclb]

BIRTHDAY CALL ! park sunghoon

PAIRING. classmate!hoon x classmate!reader

WARNINGS. none that i’m aware of :)

WORD COUNT. 1117

N. happy birthday to the loml, my handsome boy with the prettiest dimples ever! idk what this is btw i wanted to make it an smau??? we shall see

“hello?” as soon as the almost melodic sound of sunghoons voice echoed through your bedroom from your phone on speaker, you began to deeply regret letting your friends convince you to prank call sunghoon.

to be fair, at the time their words of convincing seemed extremely plausible; there was a slim chance of sunghoon realising that it was you speaking, since you were on no caller id and the times that he’d actually held a conversation with you was little.

it wasn’t that you didn’t want to, it was just far too nerve wracking. who wouldn’t be nervous to talk to a man with a face like that?

sure, you had loads of mutual friends and there were many opportunities to speak to him but the fear of blabbering like a buffoon in front of sunghoon was scarier than anything you’d imagine. so, this was your only chance of having some fun with the guy. it was harmless, and a great way to end your night with a smile on your face after hearing his voice.

that being said, you should have just stopped after hearing him say “hello?”

but, nope. that definitely was not what happened following.

shakily, you scramble to unmute the call and frantically look at your friends sitting around you, “i heard you’re good at math!”

your friends furrow their eyebrows at you, mouthing words of a frenzy since this was far from what was rehearsed. originally, the plan was to say a silly joke about his football jersey and tell him how good looking he was. but, clearly your mind had ideas of their own.

sunghoon chuckles into the phone, and the noise of him closing a door is evident, “yeah, i’d say i am. why?”

there wasn’t a single thought behind your next actions, “oh, well this might be easy to understand then! are you math? because i can’t understand my feelings around you.”

your friends facepalm, throwing their heads into your nearby pillows to muffle their sounds of dismay upon quite possibly the cheesiest thing they’ve ever heard.

sunghoon booms with laughter, almost in disbelief, and you can hear the smile plastered on his lips as he says, “i’m pretty sure anyone would understand that pick up line, even if they weren’t good at math.”

“you’re right,” you bite your lip, feeling your stomach churn as the call goes silent for a moment.

“i have to say,” sunghoon exhales, “i expected better from you, y/n.”

“huh?” you gasp, your breathing rates growing faster with each passing second.

again, the sounds of sunghoon rummaging around in his room are coursing through your ears; if the sounds of his movements weren’t clear enough before, they certainly were right now due to your immense fear upon him realising it was you who had decided to call him the evening before a lesson with him. the room suddenly reeked of your desperation to hear his voice, which was the mere reason for you calling him in the first place.

“i’m pretty sure this is you, y/n,” sunghoon lightly laughs into the phone. “make sure you do your biology notes for tomorrows lesson.”

and with that, the phone call cuts. the phone slips out of your hand as all colour in your skin seeps out of your body.

—

fingers white and slippery from how hard you’re clutching your books that sweat begins to form, making your hands clammy. your eyes clamp shut as you step into the biology classroom, looking down at the floor in order to not make eye contact with the oh, so beautiful boy who sits on the desk a mere five feet away from you.

although you focus on everything else in the room, his eyes boring into you is the only thing you can notice and feel. clearing your throat, you slip into your seat and frantically open your textbooks, reciting a silent prayer begging for the lesson to go by faster than ever. as you focus on the suddenly jumbled words on your textbook, you can hear people greeting sunghoon and wishing him a happy birthday.

“thanks, man,” sunghoon smiles up at one of his friends.

“are you doing anything for your birthday?” his friend asks, also taking a seat since class was about to start.

sunghoon takes a breath, and you can feel his eyes on you once again, “maybe? we’ll see.”

the bell chimes beautifully, announcing that it was okay to run out of the classroom. victory could only last so long with the sweet taste of it being ripped away from you seconds after escaping the suffocating class room, you felt a hand on your backpack pull you to another direction.

looking over your shoulder, you saw a smirking sunghoon standing over you with a hand tightly grasped around the strap of your backpack.

“aren’t you going to wish me a happy birthday?” sunghoon smiles warmly, towering over you as he stands with his hands in his pockets.

“oh, happy birthday,” you say, swiftly despite my throat feeling dry from the anxiety of having him standing so close, knowing what you had done the previous evening.

sunghoon laughs, just like he had done the night before. you watch his dimples appear in his cheeks as his nose scrunches up and his eyes curl into the cutest crescents you’ve ever seen.

“what’s so funny?” you gulp, adjusting your backpack.

“you. you’re funny,” sunghoon breathes out. “was my phone call your birthday gift to me?”

after the phone call, your friends had decided that feigning innocence was the best option, “i’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”

sunghoon rolls his eyes, “don’t try it. i know how your voice sounds. i’ve been in your class for three years.”

you frown, “was it that obvious?”

sunghoon chuckles, “yes! just because we don’t talk that often doesn’t mean i wouldn’t know! i’m not that slow.”

“but, still,” you mutter, somewhat disappointed. yet, there was something so heartwarming about knowing how sunghoon recognised your voice. perhaps all that participating in schools and presentations had been worth the embarrassment, since sunghoon could now easily distinguish your voice.

sunghoons still staring at you with a kind smile, “you know what would make my birthday even better that it already has been?”

you shake your head as sunghoon takes a step closer.

“go out with me,” sunghoon asks, raising one of his perfectly carved eyebrows.

“as if i’d say no,” you reciprocate his the wide grin across his cheeks. “only because it’s a birthday gift.”

with a bite of your lip, hoping he realises your attempt at making a smooth joke. by the amused expression painted over his face, sunghoon definitely has.

“that’s the only reason?” he ponders, acting disappointed. “what a shame. i thought you were interested in me.”

you straighten up, “what would happen if i was?”

“then, i’d ask you for your number. so you don’t get any more random ideas to prank call me instead of asking me out like a normal person,” sunghoon looks down at you with twinkling eyes.

you roll your eyes, “give me your phone.”

“gladly,” sunghoon beams.

[oksurethisismyname]

Cinderella Sanji makes so much sense

CinderSanjis mother dies and his father marries a horrible clown (Cesar) and his siblings are horrible to him. His father lets his siblings be mean to him and forces him to work as a servant in his home, leading to him meeting his fairy god father Zeff.

On the other side of the kingdom we have King Mihawk and King Shanks, with their sons Zoro and Luffy. They throw a birthday ball / celebration and Mihawk (being a nosy drama loving bitch) invites “all eligible nobles” to the party just to see his son squirm at the idea of dating.

Blah blah blah Cindersanji is told he can’t go because he’s more servant than actual nobility, Zeff gets the kitchen staff to work together to get Sanji spruced up and on his way to the ball.

Sanji gets to the party and goes to the balcony to avoid his family, but sees some asshole set his plate down with food left on it. He walks over and says typical sanji stuff (“hey fuckface, some people don’t have enough to eat in this god forsaken kingdom, you better eat the rest of that before I shove it down your throat”) and zoro is immediately smitten. Absolutely in love. He obviously fights back, their bickering is fun but suddenly this mysterious blond leaves without an explanation.

Second night of the celebration, Zoro is actively scanning the crowd for his mysterious mouthy blond. He spots him talking with some pink haired girl with the same stupid eyebrows and notices her pushing him to leave. He follows sanji to the gardens where Sanji is hiding from his siblings (thanks to reijus warning). They end up talking about all sorts of things, but it becomes pretty apparent that this blond guy doesn’t realize he’s been flirting/fighting with a prince. once again Sanji runs off without a goodbye.

On the last night, Zoro begs for his name and Sanji gives him the name Sora. They keep flirt bickering and Zoro is about to mention the whole “you do know I’m the prince right?” , but now it’s midnight. when sanji’s fleeing zoro catches his hand and accidentally pulls his glove off, with Sanji getting away but having to leave his glove (it’s leather and he has really long fingers, so don’t come at me saying gloves fit multiple people)

Blah blah zoro and Luffy go searching for the guy from the ball, see sanjis shitty siblings and they are (unlike traditional Cinderella prince) not that fucking dumb and recognize their faces as the face of the guy from the ball. He’s invited to have tea, with judge trying to get Zoro or Luffy to notice Reiju or maybe Ichiji.

Judge calls for Sanji to serve tea and BOOM, eye contact, sparks fly, because Sanji immediately is yelling “what the fuck you followed me to my home???” And zoros yelling “you’re so stupid, of course I came looking for you! I want to marry you, asshole!” Record scratch, silence, all hell breaks loose with yelling from pretty much everyone BUT Reiju and Luffy. Sanji, finally noticing Zoros outfit and the coat of arms on his clothes, realizes WHO he’s been talking to, is gonna leave because holy shit nope he is clearly hallucinating.

Luffy and Reiju tag team getting everything calmed down, stopping Sanji from running and keeping Zoro from stabbing one of the Vinsmoke boys. Something something Zoro confesses that he’s never felt so challenged and wants to get to know Sanji better, Sanji gets to leave his shitty home life and after a year of courtship they get married

Someone who is more talented take all this mumbled gunk and turn it into the fanfic I’m envisioning!!!!

[randomationality]

seekers I've done so far (I don't think I'll even make it to the ref sheets)

you know what, IM GONNA RAMBLE ABOUT HEADCANONS AGAIN. (out of these six, prolly. Also, these headcanons are NO WHERE near perfect)

Thundercracker is the more calm and collected out of these guys, which also makes him seem as the most boring (Skywarp teases him the most). Ever since the Decepticons came to Earth, he's been amazed by the scenery of a planet and how organic it is. This also brought him to be fond of its creatures, especially dogs. He has the ability to create massive and deafening sonic booms, and can manipulate electricity. They become more powerful if the weather is stormy.

Sunstorm is a very joyful guy. At least he tries to genuinely be. He likes poems, and singing! (Voice HC Your Anxiety Buddy 💀). Him and Novastorm have similar abilities. He's basically a walking nuclear bomb because of his radioactive nature, but of course he can control it. And like Rodimus and TF:ONE Optimus, he can use his blasters as flamethrowers. Otherwise, he just can light his whole frame on fire. Fun fact: In the coldest of days, the other seekers just huddle next to him to warm up in their free time. They don't do it to Nova since they know she doesn't like it.

Novastorm is more tired and angry than calm, but she does find a bright side to everything (no pun intended). She's confident, but can also get annoyed easily. Like Sunstorm, she can radiate a star's energy, but she mostly uses a burning, blinding light to mess with her opponent's optics, then she goes for the kill.

Skywarp is the prankster, procrastinator, and most cocky one. He's that one guy that calls others weak for being scared of a horror movie, then after it you find him huddling in the corner crying. He really likes his visor. He uses his teleportation all the time, he doesn't even walk. For some reason, it just annoys Starscream. The only flaw he has with his teleportation, he can only bring a maximum of fifteen bots at one time.

Acidstorm is a strange but useful mech, at least that's what Starscream thinks. The Rainmakers feel concerned and worried for him since he's been using up his energon for his abilities just to fight the Autobots, but he always says he's fine. Starscream finds his abilities the most effective since acid can y'know, ruin EVERYTHING, so sometimes he pushes him to use more of it, but he doesn't know it costs him Acid's own life source. The Rainmakers have arguments with Starscream to stop him from getting Acid to overuse his powers.

(I don't know too much about Ionstorm, so tell me if there's things I missed or need to fix because this is me basically making crap up!!) Ionstorm sometimes just goes with the flow, but speaks up when he needs to. He's more smiley and open when he's with his Rainmaker trine, but with others he just nods and listens to whoever's talking. His ability is similar to Thundercracker's, but he uses it more to power the Nemesis and other really generators or machines they have wherever they are. But when it comes to combat use, it's deadly. With just one shock, he can knock out fifteen to twenty bots.

[d33pd3sire-blog]

The Air That I Breathe

Idk how to write reader fanfics without a million 'you' words so you're just gonna have to ignore that haha.

Emily Prentiss x F!Reader

Summary: You get caught following an unsub. You believe you are going to die so you make a confession to Reid.

Might make this a two or three parter, depending on if it’s what the people want haha.

TW: Fire, explosions, smoke, coughing, suffocation.

Word count: 1321

Any constructive criticism is welcomed! Be kind about it tho lol.

The team had to split up. There were two abandoned buildings in the area which suited the unsubs needs and you, Prentiss, Morgan and Reid were on your way to one of them. Hotch, Rossi, Tara and JJ were on their way to the other. As you were pulling up to the building, the unsub could be seen on the roof, a child in his arms and a gun pointed to their head. 'I wondered when id be seeing you!' He exclaimed. Prentiss unholstered her gun and pointed up at him. 'Let her go! We can sort this out without getting her involved.' Emily called, trying to find a way in. 'No. You know what, I think ill have some fun with her first.' The unsub walked away, his haunting laugh echoing through the carpark.

Morgan and Reid's SUV pulls up, both of them jumping out immediately. 'Whats going on?' Morgan looked to both of you with worry. 'The unsub has a child hostage, we need to get in there.' You respond. The anxiety in your voice does not go unnoticed, Morgan replies, 'Its gonna be okay, you call Hotch and tell him to make their way here. Ill call Penelope, see if she can find out how many exits there are on the floor plan.' You nod, pulling out your phone.

As soon as you finish filling in Hotch, Morgan comes back with a plan. 'Right guys, there are two exits. One to the left, and one to the right. Prentiss and I will take the left, you guys take the right. Remember to stick together. The others should be here soon to help.' You turn to Reid, giving him a 'we can do this' look. He returns it, unholstering his gun and turning towards the double doors. 'Come on, i'll head in first. You cover me.' You turn back to look at Emily, her dark ponytail swishing as she walks. 'Please be okay', you think. You don't know what you would do if she got hurt. Same goes for Morgan of course, but he's not the one you've been in love with since you joined the BAU. You shook your head, getting ready for what you might face and follow Reid into the building.

The both of you are silent, the only noise filling up the space is the sound of your footsteps. The corridor seems to go on forever, twisting and turning like a- BOOM. You and Reid are thrusted back, both of you knocked into a daze, confusion waving over both of you. A few seconds later your eyes open. Everything seemed to go in slow motion, as if you're not fully in your body. The ringing in your ears seems to be the only thing keeping you lucid. You slowly blink your eyes, realising Reid is standing over you mouthing something. As everything finally catches up to you, you take a sharp inhale. You can tell Reid is relieved by this by his facial expressions. A few seconds go by and the ringing starts to subside, you can finally hear Reid repeat 'you're okay, you're okay, its going to be okay.''

'What happened?' you mutter, slowly pushing yourself up onto your feet. 'An explosion. I believe the unsub set us up. He has a past with arson, we should have seen it coming.' Reid rambled, you can tell he hasn't quite come to terms with it either. 'Lets get back to the doors, can you walk?' you ask. He nods, wrapping his arm in yours incase either of you lose balance. As youre both stumbling towards the exit, you both notice smoke starting to fill the space around you. You both look at each other with fear, knowing the dangers of smoke inhalation. As you reach the doors, you both push the the handle down. Nothing. you try again. And again. And again. Your breath starting to quicken, the smoke building up, making it more and more difficult to breath. 'Reid?' You spoke. He can hear the fear in your voice, he feels it too. 'I know.'

After a few minutes of desperate attempts to open the door, you both give up. 'If we can't get out this way, lets go deeper.' Reid sputters. 'Are you insane??' The idea just spoken, had you standing in disbelief. 'Are you mad Reid?' 'No! I mean, maybe. The smoke inhalation can't be doing good things to my brain.' He jokes. 'But seriously, what if we find a window? We could smash it and get out. Here we're just sitting ducks waiting for the smoke to take over.' The idea plays in your mind for a few seconds as you turn back to the door. He's right. We can't just stand here waiting for people who may never come. Emily and Derek could be dead for all we know. Hotch and the others could take too long to get to us and we'd have suffocated. You turn to Reid and give him a reluctant nod. He takes you in his arms, guiding you to the floor. 'We have to stay low, smoke rises.' He coughs, you must admit the air is far easier to breath down here. You both slowly shuffle farther and farther down into the building.

A few minutes in and both of you are coughing regularly, neither of you mentioning the possibilities of what we could or could not find. We both start to feel the corridor get warmer and warmer as we approach a room on the right. We both stand, our hearts in our throat as we hope for a way out. As soon as we look in, our hope is crushed. Flames envelope the room, almost impossible to see anything in there. the heat and smoke hitting our faces, causing us to cough. Reid grabs your arm and we start to run past it. Maybe there's another room further down.

You both quickly approach a set of double doors, both of you holding your breath until you reach the doors. The sound of Reid pushing on the bar to open it and. Locked. Shit. 'No no no NO NO.' Reid yells, using all of his body weight to kick, punch, push the door down. A laugh starts to echo through the passage. Reid turns to look at you, out of breath. 'Whats so funny?' You then realise the laughing is coming from you. Why are you laughing? You force yourself to stop, the seriousness settling in your stomach. Shit. You both stand in silence for a moment. 'Shall we try heading back? Maybe Hotch is here now.' Reids head is in hands, he's trying to soothe himself. 'Reid.' He looks up, and nods at you. You take his hand, ready to walk back when a loud bang is heard down the hall. Followed by bright flames, both of you could feel the heat radiating from it. Tears start to flow down your face as all hope drains from you both. You both fall back onto the double doors, sitting on the floor. The idea of both of you dying now becomes a reality. We are going to die. You sigh and put your head onto your legs. 'I love her' you scoff out. 'Love who?' Reid asks. 'Emily. Always have.' Tears continue to flow. Reid pauses for a moment. 'It all makes sense now. You light up around her. I just thought.. I don't know what I thought but it makes sense.' Reid pulls you into him, both of you leaning on each other. 'Its ironic isn't it?' You say. 'Hmm?' He mumbles. 'Im gasping for air yet its Emily I want most. She's the air that I breath, I can't live without her.' You close your eyes as Reid puts his arm over you. The next few minutes you both spend thinking of those you love, while sinking deeper and deeper into darkness.

[fure-dcmk]

FINALLY WATCHED THE MOVIE first impression rambling >>>

[MILLION DOLLAR PENTAGRAM SPOILER WARNING]

HEIJI WAS SOOOOO COOL. HANDSOME. TERRIFIC. the first 20 minute is just me losing my mind from all the heiji details

>> heiji and kid bantering about fairy lips in the intro. kid going your fault for not noticing hmmp! <- huh? are you a tsundere heroine

>> HEIJI ORIGINAL DUFFLE BAG!!! CAMEO-ING IN 2024!!!

>> 4 new outfit from heiji that fits him so well... handsome guy

>> a fairy lip redraw. i died

how the hell did heiji brought his bike with him all the way in HOKKAIDO. you can almost way osaka to tokyo is only half of the travel to hokkaido how many day trip would it take to reach that far. also a jp tweet i read once brought to question how a high schooler was able to use the high way. did he brought kazuha with her in this extreme trip? with the excuse that he's going for a kendo tournament... when his bigger agenda is to confess. everything about the bike being there doesn't make sense but i give it a pass for being cool 😁👍

and the heikazu scene.,.. i came there fully expecting to not care at all but they actually made me invested. ran was SOOOO CUTE her excitement directly influenced me to also want to see heiji succeed. heiji asking if the legendary 100 million night view is better than big ben and ran agreeing just to placate him for the sake of her otp 😭

THE STUN GRENADE! the fact that kazuha immediate reaction is to protect heiji ears.... her self sacrificial nature a call back to mermaid island in the most subtle way 🥹🥹🥹 heiji shocked eyes was so cute. and heiji confession speech isnt cringe and is actually cute! shocker! (sorry trauma from heart anniversary lines its so awful im dnfuebdjfjf) devastated such an ideal confession scene was wasted. but its from kazuha trying to save heiji SO FORGIVEN

need to make sure ppl know im a momiji enjoyer. all her faults are forgiven purely cuz she is funny. let a rich girl be delulu !

also loove how they keep cannonizing her keen hearing from m21 THIS IS THE APPEAL OF KAZUHA THEY GET IT

touichi gifting a lost national treasure to his little brother yuusaku for winning the macademy award, as well as keeping in touch with him and gifting various trinkets.... meanwhile keeping his own son completely in the dark that he's alive this entire time...

conclusion 1: worst parent award goes to kuroba touichi 🥳🥳🥳

conclusion 2: ah he's definitely a brocon huh

kills me that everyone is dejected that the katana with the star shaped guard is a lost treasure. meanwhile its quitely sitting in kudo yuusaku's store room cuz his big brother gifted it to him LIKE SDJDJFF!? turning your justice leaning lil bro into an accomplices. the gag potential here is so made for me

shoutout to sonoko who took up haibara's usual information provider role. every scene with her was animated so cutely IM SHOCKED m27 doing excellent job at showing off her cuteness. there is a fun parallel to think about, sonoko was the first person heiji went to to get information on kudo's whereabout, and now heiji is also going to her for information ♥️ heiji-sonoko friendship crumb thank you for the food

this movie really play a lot with the crumbs from kendo school tournament arc. heiji-ran friendship makes me want to cry, ran efficiently karate chopping hijiri to make sure theres no distractions for heikazu 🥺😭 ive been convinced on okita's cuteness the past 3 month cuz if the okita fanart boom in my corner of jp twitter but watching it for myself... he really have it bad for heiji LMAO wdym "it's boring if hattori ain't here~" how much did you say this for kaitou kid to catch that its a good trait for an okita disguise. im glad this movie give a good balance of real okita and fake okita, m10 still makes me so sad for having ZERO real hakuba 🥲 kid's dosu e~ is so moeblob

ah i still got so many word vomit on this movie it seems to be never ending 😭😭

my final review of the movie is this is my no 1 fav conan movie of all time, 2nd place is bride of halloween. i still havent rank anything below that properly. im truly entertained by this movie it got so many characters i care about with a lot of bombastic scenes. as much as i want to say my ultimate fav is m7 and m21, both of them are kinda... slow with all the deduction talk. im here for eye candy after all 😔 mixing kid's energy is doing wonders for the tone of a heiji movie. heiji's presence is also doing wonders for KID as well cuz gosh!!! KID has never emit this much childlike moe blob energy. heiji and conan being the straight man to kid's prank is the dynamic really help to emphasize his whimsical energy

and the final theme i caught; parallelism where hijiri is willing to do anything to protect his father's legacy only for us to find that its all for naught.... now why does this sound familiar 🤔🤔🤔

rewatching the movie tomorrow so ill probably do another ramble on it

[sanzaibian]

I am Chris Albanese. Self-made billionaire, ravenous businessman and pussyhunter.

I am the best businessman to ever exist, the world basically belongs to me. If someone doesn’t act like I want them to, I can pay them off, pay someone to off them, or do it the old fashion way by wielding my fists. You see, I used to be a sportsman. A boxer, to be precise. However, unlike my dimwitted adversaries, I knew how to use that to my advantage. I used sports as a way to gain some quick bucks and gain fame, and when finally a business venture extracting lithium in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, I jumped on it and finally ended that dumb career hitting people for other’s excitement.

However, it’s not as if everything was smooth sailing…

Today was a very bad day. It started with a demonstration in front of my building, with those wokes saying that I am complacent in the bloody civil war in the DRC. I mean, I don’t care about those Congolese, I’m just extracting lithium and selling it at high prices ! Those wokes will always find a reason to hate hard-working people. But after that, I got complaints that my employees are over-worked and under-payed, and that they threaten a strike ! I fired a few of those so it’s okay, but then I get told that the shareholders believe that I don’t take enough advantage of the electric vehicle boom, and that my management is unsatisfactory ! Don’t they understand that those “green politics” will just explode on their faces and that I’ll have to pay for “mismanagement” ? Those fuckers…

When I get home, I decide to call my pussy... I mean, my third wife, but let’s call things what they really are. I need to unwind a bit, after all. When she comes to my penthouse, she goes off on me about how she was busy, and how I just call her when I want her but I’m never here when she wants me. Women, am I right ? So I just shut her up with a new Gucci bag, and start undressing. She watches me as I undo the buttons of my suit, revealing the manly coat of hair I possess. But as I fling my top across to the couch, she dares to tell me :

“You know, Chris, you gained a bit of weight since the last time we had fun… You should really start working out again, you know, like when you actually did sports.”

Although she was telling me that with a look of concern and of lust, my anger was so built up since the beginning of the day that I just went off on her.

“What, do you want me to be a moron that can only punch others ? That is better than the piece of hotness you have in front of you ? I’m rich, I’m powerful, I’m the best person in all of humankind, and this is what you tell me ? That I should be ‘taking care of myself’ ? I’m taking care of myself just fine ! - Chris, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that, I’m just worried for you…” I cut her. - You wretched woman, don’t say lies, I know you’re just not happy with hunting just one guy ! You sluts are all the same ! You come here saying ‘oh no, I’m so busy buying clothes’ and ‘you should work out and do everything I say’ and expect me to do nothing ? To listen to your orders ? I’m fucking Chris Albanese ! The best man on Earth ! You fucking greedy slut, you’re fired !”

She looked at me with weird eyes, as if I said something that didn’t make sense.

“You… fire... me ? You- You know I’m your wife, not your employee !”

She looked at me with pleading eyes, trying to seduce me out of firing her. Sluts are all the same, I tell you !

“Well, you’ve heard me nice and clear, you’re fired ! And never dare cross my path again, else I sue you for harassment !”

Utterly bewildered, she took her things – including her new bag, that greedy bastard – and started going, when she told me, with a shaky voice :

“You’re going to regret this, Chris !”

And then, she slammed the door. Good riddance, I think, but that doesn’t get rid of my tension.

After scratching my head for a small while, I decide that the best course of action is to offer her the possibility to buy her position back with “actions”. Smiling, I go to the door to announce to her the good news, when I suddenly get a headache.

I stumble and take support on the kitchen counter. Where did that come from ? My head feels so bad, it might as well be about to explode ! What was I thinking about ? Yeah, something about a person I needed to meet with… but whom ?

Another ache, this time on my stomach. As I breathe in, I feel something working in my stomach, and as I breath out, I have the impression that my stomach goes farther than it used to. It continues for a while as another ache, this time in my legs, hits. I feel weird cramps in them, as if I had just done leg day and was suffering through its consequences. I fall down harder, not able to support myself on my legs, but am able to break the fall with my arms. Just as I do that, I feel my arms get those similar cramps, and I just fall flat, aching everywhere. As my eyes are on the same level as the floor, I notice that it seems a bit dirty. Has my maid not done a good job ? She’s fired ! ...

… Who’s fired ? I can’t quite remember… Ugh… I should really clean my floor, it’s so very dirty, a ton of dust, and a ton of sweat… Sweat ? I look down at my expensive suit pants, and only find sweaty sweatpants… and hairless abs. They’re also quite sweaty… Yeah, makes sense, since I was working out just now ! … … What ?

I stand back up. What has just happened ? I don’t work out anymore, yet I’m convinced that I just finished working out. Plus I have the biggest headache, like I’m forgetting something important… I pace around, my body aching less and less, and feeling more and more pumped up. I also feel my hairless face and body… I feel as if I’m missing something very important. Then, suddenly, it jumps out to me.

The coach ! I’m late for my next match !

I run through my dingy flat to take a track suit and run to the boxing club. On the way there, I feel as if something is intensely wrong. As if I’m not supposed to be in the boxing club, as if I’m not supposed to be in a dingy flat, as if I’m not supposed to be in a good shape… yet I can’t quite put my finger on it, still having that headache preventing me from thinking normally. When I arrive, coach berates me as he leads me to the locker room to prepare myself. When I’m ready, I go to face off against my adversary.

When I enter the ring, young women cry of joy, and between them, I see a very beautiful one that seems weirdly familiar… but she’s not really my type, she’s too old for little young me.

Me and my adversary fight for a while until I’m put K.O., and as the referee starts counting. But as I try all I might to get up, I see my adversary on top of me, acting all dominantly. And then the most surreal thing happens.

I get a hard-on.

[legends-on-legends]

the "classic" villain

some ppl try to defend totk ganondorf’s one-dimensional characterization by arguing that he’s meant to be a “pure evil”, “classic” villain. now, personally, i’m not entirely opposed to having ganondorf just be an unhinged evil guy – in my opinion, part of what makes him great is the fact that he can do it all, he can be the tragic fallen hero, the sympathetic anti-villain, the remorseful old man who can’t give up the ghost of his ambitions, and also the magnificent bastard who enjoys terrorizing hyrule bc they kinda had it coming, let’s be real here. pure evil villains are fun, that’s why i love sukuna from jujutsu kaisen, he’s just an absolute unapologetic menace.

but the thing about “pure evil” or “classic” villains is that they still have to make sense. take, for instance, big jack horner from puss in boots: the last wish, a character who some have smugly pointed to as an example of a “real villain” that’s supposedly rare nowadays. the main point of jack horner is that he’s an asshole, a real piece of shit who’s uninterested in redemption or helping others, despite the best efforts of his jiminy-cricket inspired companion. jack horner is fun and adds some variety to a film that also has a sympathetic antagonist who experiences growth (goldilocks) and a force-of-nature antagonist who steals the show (death). but jack horner still makes sense; he’s an over-privileged man-child who wanted for nothing and therefore feels entitled to everything, and he’s also spiteful bc pinocchio upstaged him that one time, leading to his vendetta against fairy tale creatures.

same goes for every other classic villain that people like, whether it’s the old-school disney villains or the bad guys from classic cartoons. pure evil villains still have to be coherent and understandable in some way. that doesn’t mean their reasons have to be good – in fact, i think pure evil villains are defined by NOT having good reasons to justify their actions. but they still need to have reasons.

but totk ganondorf? this dude makes no damn sense. why does the king of the gerudo, out of all people, become king of demons? it might as well have been the king of gorons or zora or rito who turned evil. why did the gerudo support his conquest of hyrule only to turn against him once he transformed into the demon king? where did he get his powers from? how and why did ganondorf, of all people, reach the conclusion that hyrule must be bathed in eternal darkness, and why is he so dedicated to this goal that he’s willing to sacrifice his own mind and body to achieve it? what, exactly, is driving this man? you can’t call him selfish because again, he’s willing to permanently damage himself to attain his goals, that shows he’s bound to a higher cause. but there’s no explanation for why he, of all people, has chosen this particular cause.

and sure, the fandom can speculate and try to use the lore to fill in the gaps, but the fact that there are such big gaps in the first place is totk’s biggest failure, in my opinion. if people have to look at lore guides to make sense of your villain, then you’ve failed as a storyteller.

totk ganondorf might have made more sense as a monster that spawned from the Depths rather than a man who was born among the gerudo. maybe the zonai dug around too deep and activated the Depths’ defense mechanism, and boom, ganon emerges, furious at the surface world that has dared to intrude upon his domain, and determined to return the favor by covering the land of light with darkness. he’s still a monster who must be defeated but at least there would have been some logic to his actions.

[billybob598]

Hey I was thinking of a FWB with either Alexia Putellas or Ona Batlle ( doesn’t have to be smut if you’re not comfortable) where they’ve been fwb for a few months and the reader and one of them have a crush on each other. One day, one of the ( reader or one of them ) confesses their feelings than they start dating!!!

Sorry if this is bad I’m horrible at making requests!

Have a wonderful day!!

Friends With Consequences (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

So, thanks to the anon who sent this in! I've got like 5 or 6 more requests I'm gonna try and do this week sooo yeahh... Also big shout out to Grammarly for correcting all 999999 writing mistakes I made in this one. Again any feedback good or bad welcomed! Have fun reading!

Word Count: 1.7k (Boom)

As you stare longingly at Alexia, your thoughts wander to the current predicament you’re in. You and Alexia had been friends with benefits for a couple of months. At first, it was just the consequence of a night with a few too many drinks in it. Then, it was celebrating Barca winning the league (again). After three “one time only” nights, both of you knew there was a little something more. That’s when Alexia came up with the brilliant idea of friends with benefits. Alexia also came up with the idea that there would be no strings attached, no caught feelings, you guys would be fuck buddies and teammates, nothing more. If one of you called upon the other, they would be there, but the next day there would be no bringing up what happened the night before. Sure, you liked her as more than a friend, but anything to keep her in your life while also having a little taste of what it’s like to be with Alexia.

As you guys started preparing for the World Cup you would usually be excited, however, with the Spanish teams' current state a.k.a Jorge Vilda you weren’t nearly as excited as you should be. Jorge was being quite hard on players part of the “Las 15” that had come back. While you didn’t take part in the rejection of call-ups, you openly supported your teammates. 

As the tournament progressed, you tried your best to keep a distance from Alexia. Not that she noticed, she was under so much pressure from the media, fans, and Jorge. It didn’t help that her knee had started to bother her during the group stage. The team, despite all off-field events, had been performing well. You guys cruised through the group stage, finishing top of the group. Unfortunately, Spain lost in the quarterfinals. Everyone was heartbroken, and of course, Vilda was not very happy. After the game, Vilda said some terrible, terrible things to the team and you specifically. You had not played your best game ever, but for him to blame it all on you? It made Alexia’s blood boil. 

Throughout the tournament, Alexia realized just how much you meant to her. She was able to admit that you were important to her. She, however, refused to believe that her care for you ran deeper than just friends, who occasionally fucked. So, as the new season at Barca began the two of you kept your current relationship the same. You knew you were in love with Alexia, at this point, there was no denying it. Alexia, on the other hand, kept denying and denying her feelings for you. 

“So, how’s it going Alexia?” Ingrid asks. She was probably your best friend on the team and the only one who knew about your current situation.

You sigh, “I don’t know Ingrid, every time I feel like she likes me back she goes and says something about how she thinks the friends-with-benefits idea is perfect for us. Or as soon as I think that I might have a shot with her, she’s talking about her latest match on some dating site.” 

It was no secret that Alexia was on multiple dating apps. She was always going on dates with different people, it seemed none of them ever stuck for more than two or three dates. It bothered you to no end, here you were ready to do anything for Alexia, willing to drop everything if she ever called, yet you know she wouldn’t do the same for you. 

“Well, maybe just give her signs that you like her and want to be more than just friends with benefits,” the Norwegian suggests.

“Signs? What does that mean?”

“Doing things for her, to you know, show her that you care for her in a different way than friends.”

You think about it for a couple of seconds, “So just like, be extra nice to her?”

“Yeah, basically,” Ingrid says with a shrug. You nod. You can do that. That’s easy, just show her that you care about her.

Over the next couple weeks, you did everything you and Ingrid could think of to show Alexia you like her. Bringing her coffee in the mornings, her favourite candies left at her locker, buying her food whenever the team ate out, anything you could do you did. It was so obvious that even some of the rest of the team started to pick up on it.

“Why don’t you ever buy me coffee, Y/N?” Mapi whines with a cheeky grin. One that quickly disappears after receiving a sharp glare from her girlfriend. You turn red before stuttering out a comeback,

“I don’t know Mapi, but maybe you should think about your girlfriend before asking other women to buy you coffee.” The look of true fear that crosses Mapi’s face is enough to distract the rest of the team enough for you to slip out of the locker room and onto the pitch. 

“So you really like her, huh?” You are startled by the voice, thinking you were the only one out here. When you turn around you’re met with Keira giving you a soft smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you say quickly, hoping to avoid the question.

“So?”

“So what?” You try to play dumb.

“Do you like Alexia? And don’t try to lie Y/N,” Keira asks, pushing you to tell her.

“I think I love her if I’m being honest. She’s in my head 24/7, I can’t stop thinking about her,” you admit shyly.

“Then why not tell her that?” 

“I’m scared. What happens if I ask her out and she says no? I think I would have to move clubs,” you say in a joking tone, but both you and Keira know it wasn’t a joke. She looks at you sympathetically,

“Let’s say that does happen, you get that initial embarrassment over with and then you start getting over her. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but if she rejects you there will be other people. It’s not like she’s your only chance at love, mate.” 

You ponder over her words for a bit before speaking, “I guess you’re right, I should ask her out. Should I ask her out? I shouldn’t ask her out.” Your mind races, then Keira puts her hands on your shoulders and gives you a look. “Okay, I’ll go ask her out.” You walk away feeling nervous and confident at the same time if that’s possible.

As you approach Alexia’s door you feel nervous as hell. The second you knock on it you know there is no going back. So, when she opens the door and sees you, fidgeting with the flowers in your hands, you want to immediately run away. At this point, though, you have to see it through, no chickening out now. 

“Hey Ale,” you can’t keep the nervousness out of your voice.

“Hey Y/N, what’s up?” She senses your nerves and takes hold of your hand to try and calm you down. Smiling at the contact you take a breath before spitting it out,

“Wouldyouliketogoonadatewithme?” Confused, Alexia asks you to repeat what you said. You sigh and say slower,

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” You then hold your breath, as Alexia processes what you said. Then, an expression comes across her face that you can’t quite explain, it’s almost a look as if she’s in pain and then apologetic. 

“Uhm, Y/N, I’m really sorry…” She trails off. When you get the gist of what’s saying, your shoulders slump and your face heats up with embarrassment.

“Yeah, no that’s okay. Don’t worry about it, Ale.”

“I’m really sorry, I just don’t like you like that,” she says feeling worse and worse every passing second.

“I get it, anyways these are for you,” reaching out and giving her the bouquet of flowers you were holding before turning and walking away, head hanging low. 

Alexia couldn’t keep her mind off of you for the next couple of days. Anytime she saw you in training she would try and catch your eye. It seemed, though, that you were determined not to speak to or even make eye contact with her. The entire team saw it, how you slowly cut yourself off from everyone, how you refused to come to team bonding nights, how you stopped going out with the team. For you it became, go to training and go home, nothing more. You had always been relatively quiet, but you didn’t even speak to anyone unless you were on the pitch. This concerned everyone, and Alexia couldn’t help but feel responsible for you isolating yourself. It was also around this time that Alexia started feeling like she made a mistake. Every date she went on she would always imagine that it was you across from her. That you were the one holding her hand and kissing her. So, as the January transfer officially opened, Alexia decided she was going to ask you out.

She originally planned to catch you after training, but you weren’t there. When she asked Ingrid about you the Norwegian just shrugged and said she hadn’t heard from you and that you probably were just not feeling well or something. Now, as Alexia walked up the stairs to your apartment she took note of how nothing was hanging off your front door. Usually, you had some sort of wreath or decoration hanging, she shook it off and put it down as you just forgot to put a new one up after Christmas. She knocked and stood waiting for a couple of seconds. That’s when she saw that your door was slightly ajar. She slowly pushed it open,

“Y/N? Are you in there?” Fully entering the apartment, she let out a gasp. It was completely bare, with nothing more than a couple of boxes and trash bags left. At that exact moment, she got a notification from Instagram. Tapping on it, her heart sank as she saw the post on your account announcing your transfer to Bayern Munich.

Alexia sank to her knees and started sobbing uncontrollably.

Hope you enjoyed this one! Do we want a part 2?

[delopsia]

Thinking about Rhett inviting you to come celebrate the 4th of July with his family.

They don't typically do very much; ranch work doesn't stop for a holiday, but it's one of the rare occasions where Royal breaks out the grill with meat from a cow that they raised themselves. Cecelia's plants have yielded just enough to allow her to make those infamous berry parfaits, and Perry has once again gone to ridiculous lengths to get the most absurd fireworks that he can find.

Rhett is the guy who holds everything together. Bugging Royal to get back to the grill before he burns the damn brisket again, helping Perry haul out the outdoor dining table. He takes Amy to pick up her two little friends for their holiday sleepover, hides the lighter from Perry, hunts down those sparkling glass cups that his momma has once again misplaced.

He even finds the time to haul you out behind the barn, kissing you until his lips are bruised, only interrupted by Royal calling out to ask if he's found the spare bag of charcoal yet.

Usually, Rhett's the one to go out into the pasture and pick the perfect spot to light the fireworks, but this year, he's letting you pick it. And so what if you come back with your shirt slightly out of place an hour later? It's hard work choosing the perfect spot to light fireworks!

It's only after dinner that you truly realize how many fireworks Perry has gathered. Sparkles of color booming above your head, tiny things crackling, wailing, and spinning, hardly living up to the power of their predecessors. Perry keeps bugging Rhett to come light one, but Rhett's too lazy to move out from your side, his head resting on your shoulder, playing with a sparkler.

And as soon as you think it's all over, the Tillersons begin to light their own. A sea of color paints the night sky, thousands of dollars worth of fireworks, all coming together to create a dazzling portrait. Perry mutters that one day, he'll make it big and outdo them. Rhett just kisses your cheek and compliments you on the spot you've chosen.

It's around this time that Perry happens to walk past Rhett's truck and realizes that he's got a small stash of his own fireworks. The ridiculously powerful ones that aren't sold anywhere near Wabang and are certainly not legal.

"You fucker!" Perry's grinning from ear to ear, lifting one in the air for all to see. "When were you gonna say anything?"

Rhett hums, all too focused on smacking your sparkler with his. It's a battle for the ages, and you're not sure who's winning. "When mom left."

It's Royal who surprises you the most. You've never seen that old man scramble around so fast, hauling those giant fireworks down the hill with his sons, before their fun can be cut short.

When the first one goes off, Rhett's big hands settle over your ears. They hardly do a thing to muffle the heart-stopping boom, but it's the effort that counts. One after the other, so strong that you can feel the ground jump with it, and oh, Cecelia does not think it's funny when three officers show up at the front door, saying that someone reported bombs going off.

Royal hides in the barn. Perry uses an old trick to climb up into his second-story window. Rhett? Well, his old truck is roaring down the driveway, with you giggling in the passenger seat, and not even the devil himself can stop you 🧨

[fictoculus]

Excuse me, if it's not too much to ask, can I borrow a voice line from Kujou Sara, Eula, Rosaria, Albedo, and Bennet talking about [name]?!

౨ৎ their voicelines for you; part 5...

send a request!┊masterlist┊taglist applications

part I┊part II┊part III ┊part IIII

FEAT... kujou sara, eula, rosaria, albedo, bennet

A/N... hellooo, thanks so much for the request! i've actually been wanting to write some more voicelines because they're really fun, but i was struggling to think of some characters to do them for, so really, thank you for this suggestion!

✧ kujou sara.

"traveller. i didn't expect to see you here... have you, by any chance, seen [name] around? i- no, no these are not for them... i- i was just given this bouquet by some... some residents of ritou, that is all. *she sighs heavily, gaze focused on the ground* just... don't tell anyone about this, ok? it could really put [name] in danger- i just want them to be safe..."

✧ eula.

"yes, that's right, good! so just put your arm... here, and then your waist- traveller?! no, no no it is not what you think, we were just- yes, no, wait- i was simply teaching [name] to dance, nothing more... yes, yes i had my hand on their waist but that was just- no it was just... part of the choreography! god how have we lasted this long without being caught, we need to be more careful, love... no! no, i did not just call them 'love'! don't laugh, darli- [name]!"

✧ rosaria.

"finally, barbara let me go, i thought i'd be stu- traveller! hey, yeah you! have you seen [name] around?l uhuh, i finally escaped from barbara and, archons, has it been a long day, i need them to make me feel better... yes, i said i need them, what of it? *she scoffs, folding her arms* fine then, i'll go look for them myself. no, no don't go apologising now, you only want to come so you can spy on us anyway, i see that grin, paimon... tsk, is no one bearable around here?"

✧ albedo.

"i know, traveller, i haven't been back to mondstadt for a while, but i'm so close to figuring this out. if everything goes according to plan we could save hundreds of- [name]... excuse me, could you repeat that? they asked you... where i've been- archons, it's been a week since i saw them last, only now do i realise how my heart yearns for them... that settles it. traveller, help me tidy would you? let's head back to mondstadt together..."

✧ bennet.

"[name]? oh, yeah they're awesome! they go 'whoosh' then 'boom' then a bit of 'kapow' and all the bad guys or gone! plus, they're one of few people i haven't managed to scare off with my bad luck yet... HUH?! YOU KNOW?! seriously? even our relationship can't escape my bad luck *he sighs, shoulders slumping slightly* well my love life better not get any more bad luck otherwise i don't know what i'll do, there's no way i can fight that many bad guys without them..."

part I┊part II┊part III┊part IIII

thanks for reading ♡ want to read more? my requests are OPEN, so please feel free to let me know what you'd like me to write next!

© FICTOCULUS 2023; please do not steal, translate, or repost my works as your own

[wylanzahn]

New-ish post, kinda posting this on different platforms and getting a general vibe check for some ideas I have. But basically this Halloween I want to actually do something for the TTRPG and Actualplay world (oh yeah I’m into those kinds of things). I want to try and get both players, GMs, and casual viewers alike something fun to look forward to this especially spooky season. I’ll probably talk a little more when we get closer to the actual season of scare-giving but just know that if you’re interested I’m still looking for people to join in!!

As my team and I’d first debut we’re going to try and do a two to four session actual play, which will probably be released in the weeks leading up to Halloween. We’ve had a couple good friend way in on the matter of “setting” but now I come to you fine folk. Mind you this is a horror campaign/arc so if…

Isn’t your thing, keep on a moving.

But without further ado here are a couple of the possible settings for our players, and myself, this coming espookee season…

1.) Somewhere off the coast of Florida, 1926 end of the first major housing boom in the state, a small island which calls back to the Spanish Empire, is Isla Boñyela, a small port made tourist location during the boom of disposable wealth in 1920s America. A small group of friends from the northeast tag along down for the perfect paradise vacation. Only to discover the island is much much older than anyone could have ever assumed. Whilst dealing with upstart gangsters, unnerving US soldiers, and the terrified locals they find something older than even undead conquistadors.

While I don’t have a working title, this is an old project in the running which I’ve had a few attempts at revamping over time. Its previous title was “perfect paradise vacation,” and runs on the Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition game. Anywho it’s a blast of fun with Caribbean lore, tone of anti-imperialism, and something dark lurking beneath the waves.

2.) 1950’s America, the nonexistent state of Mid-Atlantia (DMV coded) in a small suburban neighborhood where nothing goes wrong… it’s almost “All-Hallows-Eve” and little Johnny and Susie want nothing more than to trick or treat this year with all the big kids, Dad’s finally getting the big promotion at work, and Mom just got a new waffle iron! Sure everything is neat here in America. Heck you just got new neighbors! Newlyweds in fact from somewhere big and fancy, they sure aren’t like any of us in our simple town. But… and you can’t say exactly why but things are different. Or perhaps they’re all too the same? Everyday a repeat of ever other bland day that followed you over and over and over and over… and you could swear, while no one may listen to you there’s someone out there. Stalking you from outside your own home- or- perhaps, he’s just your friendly new neighbor welcoming you… to the end.

Ahhhhhh! I’ve also been working on this one for a sec and god writing it out does excite me. This is also a Call of Cthulhu game but modified/homebrewed to have a uniquely 1950s horror feel. This is definitely one of the more unique games I’ve written and am truly interested in seeing where it goes (even if we don’t choose it). This is for those who feel like isolation, fear of the unknown, fear from within, and liminal space horror comes best into play! So whadya say neighbor?

3.) The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend, or How I Learned to Love Strahd, okay so this one is a lot less horror-y and falls much more under the comedic spooky category, just so yall know. Deep in the middle of Barovia, the ancient kingdom of Vampires, meets a council of Count Strahd von Zarovich's greatest commanders and lieutenants to hunt down Strahd's greatest enemy Rudolph van Richten and his party of heroes known as "The Grape-Smashers." Strahd's lieutenants have been gifted powers greater than any mere mortals, but are these gifts enough to stop Van Richten, or even enough to stop the personal ambitions of each other? Come find out in "How I Learned to Love Strahd."

Okay, as much as this may seem like a joke suggestion it cracks me up and I feel like it would be ill-advised of me to not at least mention it. In an era where "The Curse of Strahd," is well-overdone at this point, it's worth a take from an all evil "revenge story." Obviously this will be in Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition, which, in my opinion, is really hard to use for horror, but this is a nice go-around. Come for the evil PCs, maybe a PvP battle or two, and a game of intrigue in the shadows of Barovia! All that and a buff Van Richten.

4.) Before Annapolis was ever called such it was known as Providence, a settlement of exiled Puritans in the Province of Maryland, but these early days were no easy set-up for the far-flung protestants... in the mid 1600s the English Civil War spilled out into their holdings across the waves as brother turned on brother, clan erasing clan, and something from the shores of the Old World would arrive in the New. When around every corner could be someone you've known your whole life, what's stopping them from hunting you in the depths of winter. All matters made worse when rumors of a witch begins circulating your small home.

Think "The VVitch" (2015) meets "A Field in England" (2013) meets Atun Shei's recent film "The Sudsbury Devil" (2023). It is the unexplored wilderness of early colonial Maryland, but the hateful warmongering that slowly builds that makes the horror and tension so clear. Unsure of what system we'll be using, but maybe the new Regency Cthulhu system.

5.) The Great Baltimore Fire of 1904 destroyed some 140 Acres of Baltimore proper... and in it's rubble awakened something far worse. But you and your fellow survivors are just trying to get by in the aftermath of the fire... only for something to call out, whether some strange magicks or perhaps just a sickness... but sickness doesn't even linger like this... it doesn't call to you...

Some more local history, aspiring from the actual Fire of 1904 things quickly devolve from there as rumors of a cult begin to spread along the streets of Rosland Park... a mysterious illness leaving even more dead... and the death of an eclectic professor. Definitely using the Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition for this one.

Aaaaaaaand that's it! Let me know what y'all think!

[angelplummie]

OKAY FIRST OF ALL HEY BABY IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH

And yesssss I see the update where you’re writing for killing stalking!!! 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 literally going to die I’m so happy

BUT OKAY, a chubby reader (yk your girl thicc 🤪) yandere/toxic relationship/SMUTTT with Sangwoo where he cheats on Y/n all the time but she’s cocky because he always comes back to them. Then one day Sangwoo gets upset by Y/n’s cockiness and he teaches her a lesson…..

I LOVE YOU BABE AND MUAHHH I MISSED YOU

LOSING YOU

OH SANGWOON X FEM!CHUBBY!READER

cw: degrading, dubcon, implied kidnapping, references to murder, infidelity, he’s just super mean and weird, jealousy, threats of murder

a/n: this one is so fucking late and i’m sorry but i did it! this is going to flop because i never post and it’s a weird one so reblog please i love you

“Y/N? You awake?”

Of course you are, you always wait for him.

“Yes. You’re back late.”

Your voice was quiet with fatigue, but he could hear you alright as he removed his clothes and dropped them beside the bed. You had your back to him, but you could hear the soft thud of his jeans coming down to the hardwood floor, you could hear his shirt land on the edge of the bed. The house was eerily quiet when he wasn’t there, you didn’t like when he was gone. He always came back though. Always.

“Yeah, I was talking to this girl, Jieun. She goes to the same university as me.”

He lifted the covers and slotted himself behind you, your ass tucked right into his crotch, and he slung his big arm across your chest. You could smell him, he reeked of alcohol and girl. You’re sure if you turned around you would see his neck littered in hickeys, the top of his shoulders covered in nail marks. It was the same every time he went out, but what did that matter?

Those girls may think they’ve done it, gotten sangwoo to ’open up’, show them the ‘real him’, but they’re wrong. They’re all wrong. Only you know sangwoo, the real him. He probably tells all those girls about some version of his tragic past, his abusive father, his suicidal mother, and they think they know all there is to know about him. Until the next day and there’s parts of them rotting in sangwoo’s trunk.

You know everything. And you love him anyway. You are the only one for him, and you know it. He always comes back. You know he belongs to you. With you. He needs you like air, every day he comes home and fucks you like an animal, holds you tight, kisses you, he’s even soft with you, real sappy and disgusting. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he likes you a lot, he just... has a short attention span. You’re all he thinks of when he gets home, and it’s not like he really thinks about the other girls. You know it means less than nothing to him with them, and that’s all that matters. And when they’re dead afterwards, there no competition of who he likes more. You were never a jealous type anyway.

“I had sex with her in the men’s bathroom. From behind, against the wall. Then up against the mirror.”

Well, that was new.

“Oh?” you said, ”Did you have fun?”

He never told you the details of his flings, he just didn’t try to hide them, so this was strange. Maybe it was a close call with the authorities and he’s anxious about it.

You feel an curt exhale on your back.

“Of course I had fun. She’s not dead if that’s what you’re thinking. We just fucked.”

Why was sangwoo being so strange?

“Ok,” you turned around to face him, still in his hold. You noticed it’s getting tighter. Just as you thought, you could see blotchy pink hickeys on his neck in the dimming light. His face was neutral, unreadable looking down at you. You can’t lie, he was intimidating like this. To survive sangwoo, to live with him, you have to read him, and read him you cannot.

“Are you alright sangwoo?”

“Obviously,” he snapped, before sighing,

”Don’t you even want to have sex?”

You nearly laughed, but it’s in your best interest not to.

“You mean right now? Aren’t you tired?”

“No I’m not tired!” his voice booms, and you flinch against the covers.

He rolled you over to your back and now he loomed above you, something burning in his eyes. His hands were either side of your face, and his knees caged in your body, tapering in at the thighs, pushing the fat around to a near painful squeeze.

“Whats wrong with you? Aren’t you angry? I fucked someone else, stupid bitch.”

Mouth slightly agape, you tried to process. You didn’t even react to the name calling anymore, although the throb of hurt would never go away.

“You want me to be angry with you?”

“No, of course I don’t. I just want to know why you’re so ok that I cheated on you.”

You had absolutely no idea what was going on, and you were afraid to ask.

Isn’t this every mans dream? A girl that doesn’t care when he sleeps around? What’s his problem?

“Sangwoo...” you breathed, struggling to find the words. You were so confused.

“You always come back,” you wait a second, and when he doesn’t seem to be appeased, you continue, “I don’t care because you always come back to me. I know you like me best, that’s all I care about.”

His frown falters, momentarily, before a meaner, colder look takes his face. In the darkness he’s still beautiful and terrifying.

He hated that you make him burn. Sangwoo doesn’t burn for anyone, he burns people. And yet, everything about you is so... he can’t put it into words how he needs you. The thought of you with another man makes him close to violence, very close. So why can’t you do the same? Why don’t you care? He knows you love him, he isn’t an idiot. But... you aren’t showing it how he wants. Maybe you’ve gotten a little too comfortable. Maybe he needs to rectify that.

“You think I need you that much?” his voice had dropped an octave, gotten quieter. You knew to be careful now.

“No, but-“

“You do, don’t you? You think I’m your lovesick puppy? You think you’re in control?”

“Sangwoo, you’re not-“

“Don’t try and deny it.” his face was blank, totally blank, eyes boring into yours. He stares at you a while longer, and when he got no reply, he continued.

“Well, you’re wrong Y/N. I don’t need you. You need me.”

“I know Sangwoo, I do need you,” your voice shook, heat of the bed doing nothing to quell the cold creeping up your spine.

“Do you think you’re the only one that makes me cum?”

“No, but-“

“But I’m the only one that makes you cum?”

“Well, yes-“

“So what are you so smug about? Get up.”

He leant back, away from you to let you obey him, and got up slowly, towering above you. He stood expectantly, and you stared up at him from the mattress, not quite sure what to think.

“I said, get up,” his tone was sharp, it was hard to disobey.

You pushed yourself up as fast as you could manage, rocking gently to your feet. Your arms hung awkwardly at your sides, you weren’t sure what to do with yourself. His glare was unforgiving, but you couldn’t deny the throb in your clit at the anticipation.

“Turn around.”

And you did, a thrill running through your body. You were still stood stock still when he pried your arms from your sides and he pushed you against the wall, body pressing up against you. It hurt a little, but he was quick to make you forget.

Hands gripping your waist, he ground himself against your plump ass. Your hands were in front of you, bracing yourself against the wall. You made chopped breaths and little whimpers as he groaned into your skin, getting more and more annoyed at you; you drive him insane, why are you so calm? Why can’t you be like he is? You should be stupider, need him more. What the fuck is wrong with you?

He stopped grinding his erection on you all of a sudden, grip not relaxing for a second. Your eyes darted around the icy dark, heart thundering in your chest, face still against the wall.

“Sangwoo...” you whimpered, and he could feel the heart beat of your fat little pussy, “please, keep going.”

He huffed from his nose and his breathe ran down you neck once again.

“Then beg.”

Tears pricked your eyes as you stopped to process what he had said.

“Are you deaf? I told you to beg. Beg for me if you really want me that bad. Prove it.”

“Oh!”, you started as it clicked in your head, and the throbbing of your pussy became insatiable,”Please Sangwoo! Please, give it to me, please! I need you, please!”

He smiled at the whininess in your voice, the desperation. The need.

“I still don’t know if you deserve it,” he had taken on a playful tone now, temper seemingly subdued by your little display.

“Sangwoo!” you whined in protest, desperately pushing back into him. He groaned breathily at the feeling of your ass pressed right into him, the fat cushioning his cock teasingly.

His dick throbbed and he gave in,

“Fine, I’ll give it to you. You really are pathetic you know that?”

And he yanked down your tiny little pyjama shorts, to find your bare pussy underneath.

“Anything I tell you to do you do it.”

Your eyes squeezed shut and you yelped when he delivers a sharp slap between your legs, spread awkwardly open for him against the wall.

“But you still act like your better than me.”

He pressed against the small of your back with one hand, keeping you squashed tightly against the wall, chubby cheeks squishing at the pressure. With the other hand, he hastily undid the zip of his jeans, pulling them down around his thighs. Erection bobbing against your bare ass, he pulled his boxers down to his jeans and you stifled a whimper at the anticipation.

He always got weird like this when he was angry, and mostly you just had to stick it through. He would calm down after he had had his way with you.

Slowly, he lined up, relishing in the little whimpers coming from you. And he pushed in, groaning at how fucking wet you were. It was nearly impossible to go slow, you were so soft and he was angry at you, and yet he did, for fear he would cum too quick if he didn’t.

“You’re not better than me, alright?”

You huff, the stretch of his thick cock making you tense.

“Alright?”

“Yes,” you whined through pouty, drooly lips,”I’m not better than you. I’m sorry Sangwoo, I’m really sorry.”

“tsk,” he gives you one grind of his hips, nestling his enormous cock into you,”You’re just saying that ‘cause you want me to fuck you.”

“No! That’s not it.”

Tears were blurring your vision and you fought with your entire being not to moan, feeling his fat dick rub warm against your insides. He was moving ever so slightly to torment you, make you feel guilty for wanting to moan like a bitch when your poor boyfriend was so upset at you. You knew you had to keep talking, because he still wasn’t moving, and the feeling was enough to drive you mad.

“I love you, Sangwoo, I promise, it’s not-“

But suddenly, he started drawing in and out of you, not slow but not fast either. You let out a gasp of relief, and he smirks behind you.

“Alright, that’s enough outta you. Just take my dick like a good slut. Ohh fuck-“

You squeezed hard and his hips stuttered, pace increasing involuntarily.

He fucked hard into your gummy cunt, and you dripped down onto his balls. Eyes rolling back, he let out a string of grunts right next to your ear, making you shudder.

“See how I got you?” he said breathlessly, gripping the fat of your waist so hard it will probably bruise. The feeling of his breath against your neck made your stomach flip.

“This is just how I was fucking her,” and he drove into you again, grunting.

“I’m fucking you just like I was fucking her.”

You can only whine in response, something he takes as dismay. It pleased him.

“She was tighter,” his balls slap on your clit,”Not such a whore.”

Drool is inched past you lips, but you’ve gone limp in his grasp, only able to brace yourself against the wall. You heard him, but you’re unable to think about what he’s saying. You mumbled,”yeah, yeah, yeah”, he likes to be listened to.

“Maybe I should just get rid of you and keep her instead, maybe she’d be more fucking grateful”

Your breath hitched and there’s a sinking feeling in your stomach. You froze, and he laughed.

“That got your attention, didn’t it?”

You whined as his cock ploughed against your insides, cheek mushing against the wall. But that sinking feeling got deeper.

“Shit,” he hissed, his pace slowing,”I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum inside you.”

You hummed, still panting.

That feeling of dread didn’t fade. It didn’t fade when he came inside you, gruff grunting and a punishing grip on your waist. It didn’t fade as he pulled out, let go of you and let you fall to the ground. It didn’t fade as you felt his presence behind you, staring down at the top of your head.

And it didn’t fade as he walked away, back into bed, called you to him like he loved you. Told you that he loved you, kisses your temple.

And as you crawled into his arms, shaken, sweating, Sangwoo smiles. You need him to keep you alive.

You need him.

His hand rested over your chest, he could feel your heart rate. He could feel your fear. And it made him happy.

You were as afraid of losing him as he was of losing you.

[onyourowndaisymae]

hi!!!!!! can i request the minecraft post u did for the dateables but for the brothers? i love ur writing sm it's so cute <3333

obey me brothers playing minecraft with you

thank you so much for the love <33 this was actually a lot of fun to write because all of these men are so very ridiculous. cheers to my first ever request!

[dateables version]

content warnings: language, bullying the villagers, killing the animals, you know how minecraft is

prompt: you've somehow convinced these guys to play minecraft, a human world game, one night, just the two of you. but how exactly does that experience go?

{established relationship, obey me x reader with the brothers}

Lucifer

oh. oh peepaw.

you really have to coax this man into playing with you. he's perfect at everything, all the time-- to engage in activity like this one, in front of you of all people, wounds his ego more than he'd like to admit. he doesn't want you to see him be bad at something. what if you no longer respect him? what if his inability to comprehend the little block people's actions are enough to ruin your love for him? he's genuinely distressed about this (not that he'd let it show), but you seem interested, so he reluctantly agrees.

two key things are necessary when playing minecraft with lucifer: patience and teamwork.

leaving him to do any task alone is daunting. the perfectionism paralyzes him a bit in these moments. take him with you! collect wood together, mine in the same mineshaft, hunt monsters together-- all of it starts to ease his mind when you work together. he starts to focus not on his pride but his love for you and spending quality time by your side.

as time progresses, he does eventually get a grip in the controls and mechanics-- well, as much as you can expect a dinosaur like him to understand. you still do a lot of tasks together in-game, but it's more of camaraderie thing by that point. he just likes being by your side, okay? don't make him say it, or you'll be hunting monsters by yourself bestie.

lucifer is also a really big fan of the soundtrack. it's so simple yet well-composed, a stark different to that garish video game music levi listens to. please play with the sound up and let him enjoy the sound of the rain intermingling with the music; his relaxed face is very cute.

Mammon

what's that? you wanna play minecraft with the great mammon? of course you do! he's gonna be the best player you've ever seen, just ya wait-- what's that? no, he's never touched the game before, but he knows he'll be fantastic. watch and learn, baybee, cuz the great mammon is here to show up and show out.

what he lacks in skill, he makes up several times over in enthusiasm. this is important, because he absolutely lacks skill.

mammon is a dangerous combination of unobservant and overenthusiastic, leading to every stupid situation you can think of. he thinks he sees an important resource, so he leaves for juuust a second... boom. he's lost. he somehow manages to attract lava in every. single. cave. at this point, you have to ban him from carrying anything important.

one thing he is good at is monster hunting. he's made it his mission from day 1 to protect you, whether it be real life or in a video game. he'll face a monster-- enderman, creeper, sneaky skeleton, you name it-- without an ounce of fear if it means you'll live another in-game day (some might call this excessive, but you just call it cute).

like everything with mammon, sometimes his instinct to protect you goes overboard. he tries to ban you from entering the mines and going outside at night because what if a monster gets you, human?? fortunately for you, he never figured out how to run in-game, so just sprint past him and carry on.

on a completely unrelated note-- this greedy motherfucker (said with SO much affection) hordes all the treasures in-game like a dragon. his goal is to build you two a mansion of diamond and gold. this is very cute if you once again ignore the fact that he keeps FALLLING IN LAVA with all his vauables. y'all are never getting anywhere in this game.

Leviathan

levi is, hands down, the best person to play minecraft with. you don't have to teach him a thing-- in fact, he's probably the one that brought it up to you!

he's very pleased that you'd indulge in one of his hobbies like this, regardless of whether you actually play video games or not. just the thought of you there, sitting next to him, hanging out with him because you want to be around a shut-in otaku like him... the thought gives him butterflies.

... y'all can't actually share a house by the way. he gets too flustered. make a joke about putting your minecraft beds together and he's blushing. it does not matter how long you've been together, his reaction will always be the same.

he's one of the only ones that you can progress through the game with. bashful levi is amazing in the mines. he's got a system down pat that'll help you guys find your way back to the entry point, where he's set up a base camp with chests and resources so you won't have to resurface until you're done. smart, right?

y'all actually go to the nether and the end. he's very quick to pick up the game's mechanics and use his luck to to help you guys progress. every victory is shared; what's the fun of winning if you're not winning together?

levi will play with you basically any time you ask. he loves when you refer to it as "our minecraft world". better yet, praise him for all his hard work in making your world and watch him melt. he's just a sucker for your love, and the fact that he's actually good at this activity makes him all the more happy to do it with you.

Satan

satan doesn't really know much about this game that you're describing, but he's willing to play it with you if you're really that interested. he's always ready to learn more about things from the human world; when you tell him this is one of the most popular games up on earth, he wants to try it at least once.

satan is not the best in general at video games, but he's quick-witted and resourceful, so the two of you get by just fine. the problem mostly lies in the fact that satan's audacity gets you into trouble sometimes. there is no little voice in his head telling him not to do something potentially dangerous and stupid, especially if there's some reward to gain on the other side. he is fully convinced he can take on an iron golem with a stone sword and no armor, just you watch--

be carefully with letting him run around freely. there's lots of ways to die in this game, and each failure pokes at the embers of wrath below his cool exterior.

this intelligent lil guy figures out redstone pretty damn quick. he'll use this knowledge to create lots of little creations meant to make your camp better. whether or not this actually helps is an entirely different story... but look! a gate! aren't you so proud of him? (please praise him, he needs it so bad)

and you wouldn't be playing with satan if all progress didn't come to a stop the moment he spots an ocelot. when you tell him you can befriend them, he's overjoyed. look at how cute they are! one ocelot turns into two, then three, then four... suddenly there's a small army of ocelots in your house that he's caring for. y'all better make room in your joint minecraft bed or satan will feel like a bad cat dad. he's so ridiculous and i love him

Asmodeus

this man plays minecraft with his priorities straight-- he spends way too long creating a cute character skin to play with, then builds a cute house and decorates it to the nines, then focuses on finding himself the cutest armor and weapons... all before doing literally anything productive, btw.

do not expect asmodeus to be much help. he's mostly there for moral support. he cannot do things "for survival" like gathering food and resources or building a starter home. everything must be perfect, or it doesn't get done. asmo did not craft himself a bed until he was able to dye the wool pink and have a cute pink bed. he cannot bring himself to live in an ugly house, so you either need to help him or listen to him whine about getting rained on or attacked by monsters until he's done.

this is not to imply that playing with asmo is not fun!!

asmo is not a monster hunter, a miner, or any good at gathering resources. however, his experience with makeup makes him insanely creative. while you might not have a house for several days, the end result even gives barbatos' house a run for its money. his decor is always very cute and clean, soft even in the blocky 2D world. he'll make your whole base camp aesthetically pleasing if you let him (please let him-- his smile is worth it).

asmo often finds himself a damsel in distress. he'll fall in holes and get very confused, scream when he gets attacked, and generally need you to protect him at every turn. succeed, though, and he'll hail you as one of the most amazing people he's ever met. the game will be discarded as he throws his arms around you, kissing you all over the face and showering you in praises, all for saving his house from a stray creeper.

oh, and he'll definitely put your beds next to each other and smirk at you. what did you expect from the avatar of lust? cornball

Beelzebub

sweet, beloved baby beel. he's ready and willing to play with you whenever. if you want to make some actual progress, prepare lots of snacks and set a cozy atmosphere to keep him full and content. playing with the avatar of gluttony does require a little prep in that regard.

this (metaphorical) angel really has a hard time killing any of the livestock. he apologizes aloud anytime he has to slay one and explains to the poor creature why he's killing them. sorry, little sheep guy, but you two need to make beds. the cows make him feel especially bad because they remind him of belphie.

he's really big on making sure you guys have a secure, safe home to hide away in. sometimes, things get really overwhelming in the game, so he wants you to have a space where you feel safe and protected enough to calm down. this bunker is definitely a bit ugly, but we can't win them all.

play with him long enough and all the food will start looking really tasty to him. that bread looks a little too real, doesn't it, mc? and that cake is so life-like... redirect him to his snack horde, stat.

he also wants to do all of your tasks together. when he's there with you, he can make sure you're safe or offer you help when your struggling to complete a task on your own. he want to make sure you're having fun! let him help you, please, it makes him feel loved. he likes spending time with you.

definitely doesn't get the "putting your minecraft beds together" joke. you can either explain the to him and watch him blush, or let him live with the assumption that it's for extra cuddle room.

Belphegor

you've got to coax belphie into playing with you for a few days, because honestly? that sounds like a lot of work. not only does he have to participate, but he's also got to learn, too? he's already yawning just talking about it all.

he'll eventually snuggle in with his back against your chest and your arms clumsily holding the controller in front of him. he doesn't particularly care that this position makes gaming difficult for you, not when you're cuddling him like this. it's really a win-win situation in his eyes: he'll play the little block game if you shower him in unconditional affection any time he wants. what a deal! his youngest child energy really shows in times like these.

belphie is heartless when it comes to raiding villages and collecting resources. what's that? you feel bad? they're not real, mc. they don't have feelings. they don't care that you're stealing from them. if it really makes you feel bad he'll stop, but he will complain about how much easier things could have been if you'd just robbed a village or two.

somehow, some way, he's also super lucky?? he'll stumble upon rare resources with little to no effort and snicker about how you're still scrambling for supplies. don't worry, he'll share. only if you beg, though. go on. he wants to hear it. maybe, maybe he'll be willing to give you the diamonds he found if you convince him. (what a fucking menace!)

he will, eventually, fall asleep while playing. the music is too soft and your arms around him are too warm for him to not drift off. that's okay. carefully take the controller away from him, save the game, shut down the system, and settle in for the night. he'll cuddle closer in his sleep, unconsciously touched by the gesture, and drag you into dreamland with him.