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the-yellow-birdy · 6 months ago

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Is it better to speak, or to die?

A/N: Long time no see! This is an unedited first draft of the "Call me by your name" with Jane Murdstone idea(without the grooming ofc). Please let me know if you want me to continue and idk if im gonna change this draft as well, since I wrote it a bit fast. Feedback is definitely appreciated!:)

L.O.L. - Yellowbird

//18+ audience only! - all characters are above the age of 18\\

Summer, 1867

As you felt the lightness and warmth spread across the naked skin of your body, the repeating of your thoughts was tuned out by the sound of crickets in the all-round shrubbery. Sweat dripped from your neck and down your clavicle, going further with every breath you took in of the thick mid-summer air. The serene crystals reflecting from the icy lake had never been more inviting. Your hair was drenched from your own sweat and sticking to your forehead in need of a wash from the shining water. You looked at your pocket watch.

A quarter to five.

Summers spent at your uncles were where you found the most solace. He and his wife were wonderful, they so often invited you to come here and visit them and their charming vacation home. Days here were spend, swimming in the many lakes and ponds you would find on your outings, visiting nearby cities, reading various books from your uncles’ impressive library and cherry-picking in the midday with your uncles’ wife, Mary. Mary was a warm, outgoing woman. She found joy and interest in everything she saw, while speaking terribly loud and out of order about it. A significant contrast to your more timid uncle. A quiet and closed of man, who preferred the comfort of his study and the much-appreciated knowledge of ancient artifacts from the dusty books he kept.

When you saw through the personality differences, you found quickly, that they were made for each other. Especially when you on occasion caught a glimpse of them in the family room on your way to your chamber in the late evenings. There, in the privacy of their relation, they laugh, talk and exchange tender touches, soft laugh lines forming around your uncle’s mouth.

More you haven’t dared stayed to witness, it would be rude and improper to impose on such tender moments.

The grass tickled your bare feet as you stretched the whole of your body.

There was to be a visitor this year. Uncle Cyrus was a widely acknowledged archeologist professor, teaching at the Da Vinci institute back in Berlin. He was a passionate individual who spent his summers nose deep in the same subject and area as his livelihood.

Although this year, your uncle had decided to open his home once more for interested candidates, who would very much like to visit the north Italian countryside with many findings from the grand sea not far. It had been several years since a fellow interested had accompanied him over the summer. Your uncle was an elderly gentleman, about seventy, his wife around a decade younger having carried no children nor related to any nieces or nephews except you, therefore he had begun searching for a new candidate.

It was to be a woman, he told you. A professor in anthropology, beginning the early stages of research in the areas of archeology.

“It is a marvel! Have you ever heard such unique wonder, Mary!”, your uncle shouted out of character, several weeks ago from his office, as you were sat reading in front of the fireplace. Truly a neck-breaking sight, as he stumbled frantically out of his study, your presence going unnoticed by him, and up the spiral staircase.

A woman. You had thought.

Never had you heard of such a thing. A woman professor in anthropology.

You weren’t a daft girl yourself, of course you knew it was possible, never had you simply heard of it, often being told as a young girl to keep your head out of the clouds, the books you read had formed. Followed later, by restriction of said books.

You sat back on your heels and let the wind blow against the ample flesh of your chest, yawning at the thought of the walk back to the vineyard. Brown and green stains had soiled the white fabric of your dress. You had laid upon it as an alternative for the blanket you had forgotten. Your undergarments used for drying the water of your skin.

You begin dressing yourself by efficiently buttoning up your corset, followed by tying your undergarments and chemise. As you had put your dress and heeled boots on you stepped out of the Oaktree’s shadow and began your walk back home. You couldn’t remember at which hour the candidate would arrive, so you thought it best to pick up your pace.

---------

“Y/n! Wherever have you been, dear? You look as if the bear had gotten its paws on you.”, Mary looked bewildered as she descended the staircase.

The house was a French inspired Cascina residence. Beautifully build from the first laid brick to the last, with simple tree carved windows and a robust brick red roofing. The foyer of the home displayed simple white-yellow walls with paintings placed on them and the floor covered with a variety of Axminster carpeting.

It wasn’t grand, nor expensive, yet it was charming and the life it oozed never ceased to calm you, when you spend your summers here.

“Simply by the lake, Aunt Mary. I apologize for my appearance; I… tripped… on the way back.”, you lied, trying to seal it with a genuine smile.

She came quickly to where you stood. She held a gentle grip on your forearms, turning you in her grasp to further inspect.

Her eyes looked upon your face, “tripped you say?”

“…badly”, you added, choosing not to look her in the eyes opting for the dress.

Aunt Mary apparently chose to leave the matter at hand, knowing the visitor would be arriving at any moment now.

“Alright well, go wash yourself off and change to a dress that doesn’t make you look like a rogue child. Ms. Murdstone shall be arriving shortly.”, she gave you a light squeeze to your upper arms.

“Ms. Murdstone?”, you whispered.

“Yes yes, you know? The assisting candidate of your uncle.”

You nodded slowly, letting the name of the woman sink in. Ms. Murdstone. It was a rather odd name for an unmarried woman you pondered.

“Off you go!”

As you gave your aunt a curt smile and looked down, you went to ascend the staircase. Unbeknownst to you, a soaked washcloth was further from your reach than you had thought--

You froze in the middle of the staircase, quick steps of your uncle coming into view at the top, as three knocks had rung out in the room. Silence.

You turned to look down at your aunt, yet her eyes already laid upon her husband. Hurriedly your uncle went past you.

“Y/n, there is no time, give a quick greeting and leave to change thereafter.” Mary whispered tightening your uncle’s butterfly.

How utterly humiliating.

It is no secret that first impressions matter, yet your disorderly mind has kept you from making just that. This woman was going to be met by a soiled dirty looking young woman, will she not have a fright?

Please lord, forgive my poor deeds.

As your uncle took a deep breath to calm his nerves and looked towards your aunt and you, a quick furrow of his eyebrows as he laid his eyes upon your dress, he turned the doorhandle and stepped aside.

In your peripheral you observed the darkness of the woman’s shadow, yet you couldn’t keep your gaze fixed upon the carpets any longer.

“Ms. Murdstone, a pleasure to meet you!”, your uncle nervously laughed, his figure disappearing behind the woman.

It was the first glance you ever laid upon her.

As she sauntered through the blackwood door, the first thing you noticed was a significant height difference between her and yourself. She had the skin of a snowclad field in winter and hair black as raven feathers, styled to the sides of her head. She looked around the space as if assessing the quality of the housing, foregoing any introduction of herself. The woman wore an all-black attire, from her corsage to her skirts, to her low sitting cap. Her gloved hands were clad in front of her, trading the warm energy of the home with a sophisticated and poised aura.

The woman turned midway through the door, looking at your uncle, “pleasures all mine, Mr. Bamford”, said the woman with a faux saccharine undertone.

She smoothly shifted her focus in front of your aunt. “Mrs. Bamford, I presume?”, her honeyed smile went wide as she looked down upon your aunt, yet her eyes held something much unalike.

You looked to your aunt, her mouth fell slightly agape, “Uh.. Uhm.. yes, welcome”. She stuttered.

It was clear that the woman’s intensity had gotten the better of both Aunt Mary and your uncle.

“And this is…?”, you quickly turned your head to the woman who now, was meandering in your direction. Her eyes were trained on your face, and unamused expression had fallen upon hers. She looked back at your uncle as if expecting an answer.

“Uhm Y/n, sorry... Ms. L/n…, Ms Murdstone”, you looked down. Your vision was disrupted by black fabric coming to place right in front of you.

Ms. Murdstone gave an unimpressed glance to your aunt and uncle, “I see. Look at me girl.”

A hand came to lift your chin.

You watched as she tilted her head to observe the state of you. Definitely not impressed. Your eyes searched for your aunt and uncle, who simply ignored your silent pleas, and kept up their mannered smiles. They gave each other a short-whiled look and went back to woman and the scene unfolding.

As your eyes went back to the woman, your spine chilling at the sight of the woman’s light blue eyes and found she had been staring directly at your face.

Hopefully she is not bothered by it, it is not simply a dress to clean.

She quickly let go of you again. Her gaze leaving as fast as it came. Ms. Murdstone wandering further into the house, “My belongings have been left outside by the carriage, I believe a maid will fetch it, or am I to do so myself?”

“Oh yes, of course uhm, right away!”, exclaimed your uncle and went to call for the staff, while your aunt scurried after the observing woman, already entering another area of the house.

*click*

As you closed the heavy wooden door you watched your reflection in the window. Nervously you studied yourself.

I don’t believe I have any filth on my face.

Tagelist:

@readingtheentrails @ladybathoryy @aemilia19

#jane murdston #jane murstone x reader #gwendoline christie fan fiction #gwendolineuniverse #gwendoline christie #wlw #wlw fanfic #the personal history of david copperfield #larissa weems #lucifer morningstar #jan stevens #brienne of tarth #lesbian yearning #lesbian craving #the yellow birdy #female writers #ms murdstone #call me by your name

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theanonymousninja247 · 5 months ago

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Settled

This is a little somethin somethin inspired after this post by @mrabubu. Happy Really Late Birthday?

ANyHoO please listen to this song to set the mood

”So that's what I want to give them, as many forms of softness as I can.

Because everyone should have a little softness in their lives.

Including you, anon-chan.

And even if it has to be secret, even if it's just between you and four walls, I hope you do find some time to be soft.” ~ @luckycharms1701

Cookies and Cream Rating: 16+ and up please 🙏🏼

Settled

One of the things you don’t think you would ever get used to about living in these underground bunkers was just how cold it could get.

A constant temp of 50 something degrees in the summer. Or well…what used to be called summer. With the Kraang invasion and what not, the stupid aliens messed with your seasons in their attempt to make the Earth atmosphere more like their heralded “Dimension X.”

It wasn’t the only thing the stupid pink buggers had messed with besides the obvious glaring fact that they were attempting mass Earthen genocide and planetary colonization and what not.

No, the Kraang had a nasty habit of being unfairly unpredictable. Which made sense because they were, you know, aLiEnS. Aliens who had no need of following humans preferred sense of having at least SOME semblance of structure.

That unpredictability was causing its fair share of grief across the entire Resistance. Aliens, you had decided, had certainly lost their “awe factor” the minute they started to decimate the planet and permanently engrain “Raph Chasms” on every single face you passed.

A heavy disgruntled sigh escaped you at that thought, one face in particular coming to your concerned mind. A face who’s brow was often furrowed with the weight of said Kraang unpredictability.

One face that you had not seen all day even though he had promised to come to bed earlier just once he had finished planning for an upcoming Kraag ambush he was leading.

He had promised you that. 7. Hours. Ago.

You hated that that had become his norm of late. Granted, you knew that he had always struggled with insomnia, but usually if you smiled at him just right and caught him sitting down, you could get him to snuggle in close and at least take a nap.

Now though? You weren’t sure the last time you had even seen him with his eyes closed for more than a minute or two. It was almost to the point that his sleep hours were rivaling Donnie’s due to how miniscule and spaced out they were. It was starting to worry you. Even more so than usual.

You let out a soft hum of thought at that and shifted your feet in the direction of where you had left him last. Looks like desperate times really did call for desperate measures.

So with a plan of action once again set into play, you just shook your head wearily, tightened the worn blanket around your shoulders as your shield against the chilly bunker air, and marched off to find your stubbornly still awake man.

After wandering the ever puzzling interlocking halls and bunkers, you finally found him exactly where you had left him: stone faced with that ever deepening Raph Chasm on his brow with his gaze hyper-focused on the paperwork laid out in a heap in front of him.

His hand anxiously rubbed his chin, one that you had absently noticed that he had grown into rather nicely through out the years. While he forever seemed to face each day with his “devil may care” kind of attitude, you could see the way his eyes constantly flicked around. His movements only emphasizing the fact as he seemed more…agitated than usual, lacking that oh so signature lithe agility that always seemed to accompany him.

You stepped up to the doorway frame, a small frown pursing your lips as you watched him mutter to himself, pacing around the table in thought as though his nerves would never let him settle. Resting your shoulder against the frame of the doorway as a support, you wrapped the blanket more snugly around your shoulders, pulling the fabric in a slowly tightening fist as you watched Leo with an ever deepening “Raph Chasm” of your own.

Ever vigilante, always watching, ever the ninja lying in wait. It was only in these small private moments when you could see the facade of bravado fall and the religiously clandestine truth finally rise to the surface.

It was a truth. A statement of unchanging fact that was never to be eroded with time.

Leo never settled.

He really was never one to stay still. A line used from an old videogame you used to play, would often come to mind when you watched him pace like this: “The Endless Spirit of Timeless Unrest” or however it went.

Part of you wondered if this…ansgty unrest… was because he genuinely cared for these missions. Or if it was more of some desperate attempt to try and redeem himself for what he considered was his unforgivable sin.

Yes, Leo never settled.

Well…at least until now.

You smirked softly at that thought and adjusted in the doorway, taking a step forward as you softly called out.

“Leo.”

Hm. Nothing.

“Leo.”

Still nada. He had moved at least, this time his hands coming to brace either side of the table as he all but hunched over the strategy plans like some geriatric gargoyle.

“Leonardo Hamato.”

Interesting. Even the full name had no response. Leo must really have been in the zone if not even the full seven syllables could grasp his attention. This was more serious than you thought. Looks like it was time to pull out the big guns.

“Oh Husband~...”

Leo’s head shot up at the gentle croon of your voice with a speed that you could have sworn would have popped a blood vessel, his eyes immediately zoning in on you in the doorway.

He snapped to attention, immediately stretching to his full height as his body went tense at the perceived danger at the sound of your voice. Your eyes immediately followed the movement, watching as the body of intimidation, the weapon of the “Greatest Ninja in the World” literally rose in front of you.

You would never breathe a word of it, never in a million years, but such a look directed at you from Leo always made you feel like a chicken being circled by a fox.

Something of a dance of death, a toying tease as you awaited with baited breath for the inevitable strike. It was only for a moment, it was always only just for a moment, but it admittedly would make you freeze, have your stomach clenching, at the intense look in his eye.

You knew Leo would never hurt you. Well, at least not until recognition flicked across his gaze.

He just stared at you with that ever impenetrable gaze before shifting into his more familiar dastardly delicious, one sided, smirk that forever seemed plastered onto his face. Except this time, the smirk was a little bit more sheepish, looking the picture of a naughty child with their hand stuck in the proverbial cookie jar.

Leo was caught. You knew it. He knew it. And he knew that now you were here, there was no chance of getting out of it.

So Leo did what Leo always does, turned on that signature “Face Man Charm” to try and slip out of trouble. In a voice that just happened to be a little bit lower and perchance a hint more sensual than normal, Leo all but purred out, ”Oh hey~ Didn’t see you there. What’s up?”

Your eyebrow quirked up at the sound of the attempted burr in his voice, and you couldn’t help but shake your head with an amused roll of your eyes. Keeping the blanket wrapped snugly around your shoulders, you pushed yourself off from the door frame and sauntered forward till you reached Leo’s side. Placing one hand on your hip, you looked up at him with a soft smirk and quipped off a dry reply, “Obviously. What’s up is you apparently. Do you have any idea how late it is?”

Leo blinked owlishly at you for a moment before he let out a very confident, “Uhhhhh…n-no?”

The flat look you shot at him at his very convincing reply, had him wincing slightly. Your arms came up to fold exasperatedly around you with a small cock of your hip. Leo’s eyes flicked to your body with the motion, and he wouldn't meet your eye, choosing to instead shoot you another sheepish smile and nervously rub the back of his neck. When he saw that you were not having it, Leo’s smile dropped, and he held both of his hands up placating with a heavy sigh.

“Look, you don’t even need to say anything. I know. I know I promised, I’m sorry Love, but I just really need to have this all hammered out before-”

“Abepbep, let me stop you right there, Cowboy.”

You didn’t even let Leo finish before you raised a hand to cut him off, pressing your fingers against his lips. The motion obviously surprised Leo, all with the face touching, being a red-eared-slider and what not, effectively shutting him up for the time being. You tried to bite back a smirk at the thought of using Leo’s own biological behaviors against him to assert dominance in the moment, but hey, desperate times called for desperate measures and whatever.

You looked up at him and slowly shook your head, letting out a sad chuckle as you reached out to gently slide your hand over his cheek, down his arm until you could finally capture his hand. Maintaining eye contact with him, you slowly curled his hand into a fist and held it snugly over yours. Slowly raising it up so you could press a soft kiss to the back of his knuckles, murmuring softly into the cool skin.

“Boy, you are just as bad as Donnie. I figured if you weren’t coming to bed, I’d just bring bed to you instead.”

Now Leo was never one to lose his cool; it was something he was actually rather proud of, keeping his head in the heat of the moment and what not. But there was something about the way that you looked up at him, holding and kissing his hand like that, that got him feeling some kind of way.

He tried to resist, he really did, but admittedly he was getting kind of tired and he maaaaay or may not be somewhat distracted by the way the blanket looked so invitingly wrapped around you and how his loose shirt was beginning to slip, showing off the delicate and smooth curve of your shoulder.

Leo cleared his throat and quickly turned his head, a muscle thumping in his jaw as he tried to hide the sudden warmth that was heating up his cheeks. He stammered out, his voice soft and apologetic as he lowered his hand with yours.

“Look, Love, I-I can’t…”

At hearing Leo’s quiet and hesitant denial, your heart sank, and suddenly the bunker just felt that much colder. He really was serious about this, and you didn’t think anything you could say or do in the moment would change his mind.

You continued to look up at him searchingly, his hand still being held tightly with yours as you watched with growing worry at the way his eyes creased on the side, at the hollowness found there and the furrow further deepening on his brow.

Sure, he wasn’t going to change his mind, but that didn’t mean you were going to let him keep standing on duty like this. Not if you, as a good wife, had anything to say about it.

Shaking your head with a small huff, you reached up with your one free hand to adjust the slipping blanket, not wanting to let go of Leo with the other now that you had his attention, and took a step back tugging Leo along.

“Oh very well, you can still work, but at least come sit down. It’ll help you get a new angle at least.”

Leo stumbled slightly with the tug, blinking in surprise that you had even gotten him to move. He must have been more tired than the both of you had previously thought. But he just fondly rolled his eyes with a small sigh of his own, reaching behind him to swiftly grab his papers before you dragged him off to who knows where.

“Goodness! So bossy.”

Leo all but chortled to which you respond with a dry chuckle, playfully shooing Leo backwards until his legs hit the back of a couch that had been left in the corner of the room. Without giving him a chance to recalibrate, you all but shove him down onto said couch, and plopped down next to him to prevent any chance of escape. To further ensure your snare, you unwrapped the blanket and gently shifted it until it was resting on top of the both of y’all, effectively nestling y’all under the fabric together.

You chuckled with a shake of you head as you pulled your legs up onto the couch and turned so you could nestle into Leo’s side with a soft smirk, gently slapping his plastron.

“Maybe, just a little but that's because your stubborn arse won't listen to anything else. Now be a good husband and put your arm around me.”

It was turn for Leo’s eyebrow ridge to raise at the slight demand, and he just chuckled softly, obliging you as he lowered his arm around your shoulders to pull you close to his plastron.

“Yes Mrs. Hamatoooo.”

You rolled your eyes at the slight whine in his tone with a soft huff and squirmed a little to get more comfortable. To do so, and to just cover all your bases in making sure Leo was NOT going anywhere, you lazily threw your arm over Leo’s waist and snuggled in close. You nuzzled your nose against his plastron with a soft mutter as sleep began to already encroach on the corners of your mind now that you were next to him.

“Well someone has to keep you humble.”

Leo looked down at you in surprise as you wrapped your arm around him, that all too familiar heat beginning to crawl up his cheeks. You really were a little Mrs. Feisty Pants weren't you? Not that he minded or anything. It was honestly one of the things he adored about you, being able to call him out like that and doing so in such a way that always made him feel like a million bucks. Still, he didn’t think he’d ever get used to you actively and consistently reaching out for him like this.

He couldn’t hold back the soft smirk that inched across his face as he saw the sleepy expression cross yours and before he had even realized he had even done it, found himself leaning down to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Good, I’d miss it if you ever stopped.”

You let out a small snicker at that, your nose wrinkling at the brush of his lips against your crown and reached up to cover Leo’s face with your hand, playfully pushing him away.

“Shhhhh shhh baby, it’s sleepy time.”

Leo chuckled at your pet name, and you could feel more than hear the rumble against you ear as you all but lean up against his chest. He slowly rubbed a palm up and down your blanket covered arm before leaning to press another absentminded kiss with a soft mumble.

“Naw, it’s time for you to get some sleep, Love. I still have some work to do.”

You let out a small grunt at that, your face scrunching in a small pout as you instinctively tightened your arm around his waist, your hand coming to mirror his as it slowly stroked up and down the side scutes of his plastron.

“Fiiiiiine…just…don’t stay up too late, mkay?”

Leo’s smirked softened at the obvious worry and displeasure in your tone and the feeling of affectionate tenderness grew as he watched your eyelashes flutter against your cheeks as you vainly tried to stay up. His hand continued its slow trek against your arm, and his voice dropped into a sacred whisper, not wanting you to stay up any more than you have to.

“Don’t worry Love, I won't.”

So back to work Leo went. Er…at least tried to. There was just one teeny tiiiiiny itsy bitsy wee little factor that was preventing him from doing so.

Work. Was not working.

Leo’s brain could be described to something akin to an egg on the summer concrete the way it felt so fried. Nothing was clicking. Even the “new angle” as you so called it, was not helping in the slightest. Shell, he’d be staring at this page for so long that the words had started to swim like little black fish between his eyes.

A hand came up to slowly drag down the length of Leo’s face accompanied with a most exhausted sigh. Yeah, he wasn’t getting anywhere with this tonight.

As if to emphasize said point, like the Universe itself was trying to grab his attention, Leo’s tympanum was caught by the subtle sound that had begun to escape from your parted lips as you all but lounged against his plastron. Leo blinked in surprise at the feeling of the heavy -laded breath that brushed across his chest before his lips curled up into a soft smirk at said sound.

A sound that could only be described as a snore. Just a light little thing, more of a exhale of air than an actual sound. But it was the fact that you only snored when you were completely out of it.

Leo chuckled softly at the thought as he placed his paperwork onto the ground next to the couch and with his now free hand, curling a knuckle to gently knock your chin up so as to prevent you from drooling against him. It wouldn't be the first time.

Your face instantly scrunched up into a small frown at the displeasure of having something touch you in your sleep, and you instinctively raised a hand to swat against the unseen foe. Letting out a disgruntled little mumble, you shifted against Leo’s side, curling into him as if to try to hide your face against the intrusion.

Leo’s smirk softened with fond amusement at your decidedly very grumpy face. You were always just so expressive, even in sleep, and he would never tire from trying to memorize each and every face that you would make. Even if he had to be a little turd at times to do so.

Still, you must have not minded, not really, not if you had continued to stick around like you did. Even going as far to marry this poor sap of a turtle he’d become.

He didn’t understand it, and he supposed that he never really would. Understand the fact that you could drop all walls and just fall asleep so quickly next to him without even a second thought. Mikey had said something in passing once that people only fell asleep in places where they felt safe or secure. And Leo, for the life of him, couldn’t fathom what he had done that made you feel safe enough to do so around him.

Acting on pure instinct, Leo couldn’t help but reach up from where his hand had rested against your jaw to instead lightly trace between your brows, trying to ease the tension that had formed there with a gentle massage of his thumb. Watching with satisfaction at how with each stroke across your brow and cheek line, your eyelashes fluttered and you all but further slumped into his hand, the tension leaving you with a soft sigh.

While your brow smoothed, Leo’s own brow furrowed, and his hand went still while cupping your cheek.

How on earth could you feel safe? How could you still reach out for him, still care about him, after everything he had done?

He was the reason that the entire world was in this mess, the reason behind every “Raph Chasm” on the faces of the people who passed by, and why you couldn’t sleep soundly anymore unless he was there.

You and his brothers had told him repeatedly that what had happened wasn’t his fault, that there were more pieces at play then he could have ever handled. Despite all the reassurances, all the never ending support and dedication, it was in these still quiet moments, Leo found himself being haunted by the shadows of his own consuming demons.

This was his fault.

All of this was his fault.

And yet despite this, despite all the destruction and heartache his stupid stupid pride and self ego had caused, you still wanted him. You still could stand to even be in his presence, to still care and call him friend.

Enough so that you had…you wanted…you asked if he wanted…would be willing to create a future with you.

Leo’s breath hitched softly at the thought as he looked down at you, curled up so tightly against him, sleeping peacefully at his side like everything was right in the world now that you were close to him.

The realization that THAT is what you felt about him made his hand begin to tremble slightly against your skin.

Not wanting the chance of his shaky hand to disturb your slumber, Leo quickly slid his hand from your face, back to cup your shoulder instead, thoughts of any previous failures or work fading away the instant he could feel the warmth of your body through the blanket underneath his hand, grounding him instantly into the present.

Feeling that warmth, that comforting and grounding weight, Leo suddenly decided that while you were close sitting by his side like this, you weren’t close enough.

He wanted more, wanted more of you.

Moving ever so carefully, only as a well seasoned ninja could, Leo gently wrapped both of his arms around the back of your shoulders as he slowly fell backwards onto the couch, pulling you in tow until you were resting on top of him, laying flush upon his plastron.

The sudden shift of positions had you stirring from sleep, causing you to let out a soft questioning hum as your head blearily raised from Leo’s chest.

Leo acted instinctively not wanting you to awake and to possibly see the unbidden moisture that had begun to form in his eyes, his hand coming up to cradle the back of your head and gently push it back down to strategically rest against above his heart.

“Shhh shh, it's just me Love, just me. I’m finally going to get some sleep now. You ok with being my weighted blanket for a little bit eh?”

Not waiting or really wanting a response, Leo’s hand came up to gently card his fingers through your hair in long smooth strokes, hoping to soothe you back into sleep. He watched with satisfaction as your eyes began to flutter close again and you let out a soft appreciative hum, resting more heavily against him into his hand. He couldn’t help but smirk softly at the feeling. Everybody had their happy spots, he supposed.

Leo could understand why. He knew that you tried your very best to take care of you tresses as best as one could during an alien invasion. But what he didn’t know was what woman magic you wielded here during the apocalypse that still made your hair silky smooth as it was. It was so soft. You were so soft.

His hand absentmindedly ran over the curve of your back and shoulders, always amazed at the slight give of your skin against the pressure of his hand. It made him think of how you were always giving, in every way you could. To him, to the rest of the Resistance, to every single soul who had the privilege of coming into contact with you. Such softness and warmth couldn’t be contained, to the point that it was engraved upon every inch of your delicate frame.

Being a good-for-nothing ninja turtle, who was created literally to be a weapon, a tool, Leo didnt think he'd ever get the opportunity to be soft with someone with someone like this. Have the chance to take comfort in someone else’s body and presence, or have someone take comfort in the likes of him.

And yet here you were, resting on top of him, locked within the protection of his arms, sleeping as soundly as a babe.

It surprised him even in the beginning of y’alls relationship. It still surprised him to this day because Leo, didn’t think he deserved anything good. Not ever again.

Leo looked down at you. If it were not for the heat and the comforting weight of you on top of him, he was pretty sure that he was dreaming. But for once, it wasn't a dream. Wasn't just a passing wish. No, you were here. You were really here. And that was all that mattered.

Cradling you closer with one arm wrapping around your shoulders, Leo pulled you protectively flush up against his plastron. His other hand coming to gently dig his fingers through your hair at the back of your head, cradling you close enough that he could press a soft kiss to the top of your head.

His lips lingering over your skin as he absentmindedly peppered slow kisses on your crown and hair at random intervals whenever the affectionate urge hit, indulging in the tenderness that only comes out in these small moments.

Leo would fight any number of Kraang, plan as many ambushes as needed, and take any and every single chance if it meant he could keep you close like this.

Maybe, just maybe. For this one moment, he could let go. Leo could believe in good things again, he could believe in life, settle down and just appreciate this little tender moment with you.

Special thanks to my Beloved L’appel du Vide and @anobodyinabog for being my beta readers!

As well as a shout out to @firefly-graphics for the beautiful dividers!

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