#calculated guilt trips
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vrystalius · 16 days ago
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IN-HO // THE FRONTMAN AS YOUR YANDERE.
What will happen if the Frontman falls completely and chronically painful in love with you?
Pairing: In-ho x fem!reader (x Gi-hun)
Warnings: non-con themes, a lot of touching, stalker-ish behaviour, obsession, manipulation, gaslighting
Summary: Introduction, yandere profile (sfw), his jealousy of Gi-hun
Note: I kind of struggled with writing NSFW so I didn’t do it, I’ll write a personal piece for him someday that will live up to my usual quality!
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Introduction.
The Frontman was watching the first of the games comfortably from his study, a glas of whiskey in his hand as he watched the first few players getting eliminated and their deaths creating a massive wave of panic on the large screen in front of him, absentmindedly swishing the alcohol in the glas around. His mask was put aside for comfort and a better view on the player his eyes were glued to the whole time: Gi-hun, player 456.
In-ho watched as the man shouted instructions desperately, trying to guide as much people as he can to safety. He huffed and was about to take a sip from the glas but his eyes got ripped back to the screen when he heard the lack of Gi-huns instructions. His eyes searched across the screen for the man until he found him, holding another player tightly to his side.
His interest in his drink quickly wavered as he put is aside, watching the man guide a shaking girl across the safety line. You were shaken up, close to tears, on your knees for Gi-hun. A frown grew on the Frontman’s face.
Gi-hun cheated the game, saved more players than In-ho expected and now has a pretty thing like you on your knees for him in thanks? It was all contributing to the man’s desire to join the games himself just to personally contribute to his suffering.
In-ho pushed himself out of his leather chair and activated his handheld radio.
“Prepare for code blue light.”
Yandere profile (SFW part).
- Physical touch -
After becoming completely and utterly in love with you, In-ho will begin to have his hand(s) on your body in some way or form, all day every day. At first it was pleasant and reassuring to have his hand rest on your shoulder, firmly holding you close to his body to keep you safe, or have his fingers brush some annoying strands of hair out of your face, but as you continued to allow these simple touches, In-ho got more and more daring.
His hand began to rest on your thigh almost casually, giving you a squeeze here and there, his eyes watching in fascination as the softness of your thighs almost spilled out of his grip, or his hand travelling lower and lower as it rested on your back, testing how much of his touch you tolerate and allow.
His touch is his way of testing your limits without completely scaring you off. In-ho wants to know if you are a timid and shy person, allowing his touch no matter how inappropriate it seemed, or are you fiery and defiant, wiggling out of his grasp or giving him a piece of your mind. In-ho likes it either way.
“Ah, sorry. I thought you’d feel better if I held you. My mistake.”
In-ho almost guilt-trips you into liking his touch, hanging his head and giving you an apologetic smile after you told him that his touch is making you a little uncomfortable. Maybe he is just as scared as you are, you thought.
Besides, in your oblivious mind you still believed that his poor, pregnant wife is in the hospital while he is trying to win the money for his future family. Perhaps the man that is old enough to be your father needs to be held as well, so how about you tolerate his touch a little while more.
His touches are always very secret, intimate almost. Barely anyone ever noticed his hands travelling to places they shouldn’t or rest on areas that might imply that you two are closer than just allies in a death game.
In-ho is calculated and careful, thinking about his every move hours in advance before acting on them, checking if anyone is watching or if you will speak out to him.
Sometimes, in the back of his love-hazed mind, In-ho wants Gi-hun to notice the way he is treating you, touching you and showcasing how intimate you two can be, how you are only his to touch. He wants the other man to know that you are off-limits despite you not even really consenting to all of this.
If someone else were to touch you, even just accidentally brush against you or push you out of the way of danger, In-ho makes sure that exact area gets “cleaned” by their touch, replaced by his.
Dae-ho grabs your wrist and drags you to safety during mingle? In-ho will make sure his grip on your wrist afterwards will leave blue marks. Jun-hee reassuringly grabs your shoulder while comforting you after an especially brutal game? In-ho’s grip on your bone will rival that of a predatory animal while keeping his soft smile on your face, acting oblivious to your wincing and squirming.
- Compulsive thoughts -
In-ho will replay every single interaction he had with you in his mind over and over like a broken record. Your gestures, subtle facial expression, movement and the way you hold yourself; he is overthinking about everything and anything. It makes him want to kick his legs a little and smile at himself while obsessing over your whole body and how perfect you always managed to look.
Covered in blood makes you look sexier, even if you cringe and cry at the feeling. Your sweat sticks to your shirt, exposing your curves in the best way possible for his staring eyes and the image of you being dwarfed by his jacket being draped over your shoulders makes his nether regions tingle in delight.
Scenarios about you and only you makes In-ho feel utter bliss, especially when you’re isolated from everyone and everything else, only for him to look at and admire.
His favourite scenario his depraved mind came up with so far is you being utterly devoted to him and him only. You depend fully on In-ho while he provides you with clothes he regards as appropriate and perfect for you, personally feeds you foods he believes are good for your health and happiness, bathes you in a large tub with all the most luxurious products that make your skin just a little softer.
He of course doesn’t want you to loose your personality with him pampering you 24/7 and controlling your every move, he still wants you to be your usual self. In-ho just wants you to love him as much as he loves you.
The need for utter control over your whole being is actually rooted in separation anxiety. In-ho cannot physically stand being away from you for more than one hour. He gets physically sick with stomach aches and migraines, thinking of all the possible ways you could either be getting hurt or having a pleasant time with someone else other than him.
In-ho’s face may look unchanging and casual as always, but his mind is spiralling when you are out of his sight. He curses himself for becoming a player just to monitor Gi-hun more closely and not being up in the control center where he has so much more control.
At least he can instruct the stationed guards to give you extra portions of food during meal time and to never harm you in any way possible. Sadly he cannot instruct them to shoot players like Thanos in their face for trying to charm you. Or at least In-ho thinks that that man’s weird raps and name-calling is an attempt to flatter you. It didn’t work anyway.
Right?
- Playing the perfect protector and saviour. -
You think of In-ho as your saviour, an older, more experiences and stronger man you can rely on and talk about all the things you are scared of and bad thoughts that plague that pretty mind of yours. You feel safe around him and he always has that reassuring smile of his that could make you cry. Not only does In-ho radiate a comfortable aura, he is also somewhat of an heaven sent angel. A touchy and demanding one but one nonetheless.
In-ho managed to save your life at least once in every game, both by physically grabbing you and dragging you out of harms way but also by his scarily accurate talents. Even if he struggled with the spinning top game, without his quick reaction to pull his and Gi-hun’s leg forward to kick the ball one last time, your whole team probably would’ve died.
During the mingle game, he accurately predicted how many players are going to be needed in the rooms every round with no fail.
⁎⁺˳ — A mini scenario starts here. — (In-ho will be refered as Young-il!)
“The next round will be two players in each room.” His low voice pulled you out of your thoughts while you tried to concentrate on not feeling dizzy on the spinning carousel. “How do you know?” Gi-hun, standing to your left, glanced at his friend in disbelief. You could’ve sworn that Young-il threw a glare at his direction for even talking. “It’s easy. There are 50 rooms. If two players go in each one, one hundred will still be left. Enough to go on with the games.” You felt some awkward tension as the two men beside you stared at each other and then moved their gazes to you. Nausea was building up in your stomach, and it was not thanks to the spinning platform or the sweet smell of death around you.
As the lady announced 2 Players through the speakers, Young-il grabbed your arm harshly without a second thought, practically forcefully dragging you alongside him. He harshly pulled you close against his torso as he pushed and shoved players aside. As another player attempted to get into a presumably empty room, Young-il kicked him in the shin forcefully and threw you into the safe room, closing the heavy door behind himself. As you two turned around, a third player stood inside the room.
“We were here before you guys—” he mumbled, clearly terrified to death. The other player attempted to break into the room and without another thought, you pushed your whole body against the metal door with all your might. Young-il death glared at the man in the room. “Out.” He grumbled before tackling him against the wall and swiftly moving behind him to cut the air circulation from his neck. Hearing the desperate choking from behind you, you whipped your head around to watch Young-il snap the neck of the man. Silence. A breath of relief escaped his lips as the shots fired behind the door.
You knew that he just saved your life, saved both of your lives if he hadn’t snapped his neck in time. Yet you couldn’t stop the feeling of utter horror and terror wash over your whole body. Your knees threatened to give in as you pressed your whole body against the heavy metal door, wanting to create more distance between you two, to get away from him and the corpse, to get away from him and to safety.
Young-il quickly dropped the dead man and slowly approached you. His stride was careful and his hand was slightly outstretched as if trying to pacify or soothe a wounded animal. You couldn’t move away or run as he cornered you, his arm gently wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you into his arms while shushing your whimpers. “I’m sorry, I had to. I had to.” His hand pressed your head by the back of your head and into his warm chest. You felt disgusted, angry, scared. You wanted out and away. When is the damn metal door going to open up again?!
“Shhh. It’s okay.” His voice was hoarser, his lips finding your forehead over and over, gently placing kisses all over your skin, thinking it would soothe you. “I had to or else we would’ve died. I did it for you, for us. I kept you safe.”
Slowly, you felt your body calm down at his almost hypnotic voice. Your whimpers slowly subsided but your grip didn’t. You held onto his warm body for dear life. “I-I’m sorry.” You didn’t even know what you apologised for. Maybe because you doubted him?
He nuzzled into your hair and hummed in approval, his chest rumbling beneath your ear. “It’s okay, I forgive you. You were scared and still are.” His hand slowly shifted from your shoulders to your waist, holding you against his body in an intimate hold.
“Always stick to me, I can keep you safe. Understood?”
⁎⁺˳ — The mini scenario ends here. —
His jealousy of Gi-hun and their rivalry.
In-ho is the type to be quietly but extremely jealous when it comes to anyone being in your vicinity, especially that parasite Gi-hun. His jealousy doesn’t manifest by sudden outbursts or very obvious displays, but rather calculated, subtle gestures and manners.
He’d likely watch from the shadows, picking on loose skin around his nail while overanalysing and interpreting your interactions with Gi-hun. If that parasite makes you even crack the smallest of smiles, his expression wouldn’t betray much jealousy, but his jaw would clench ever so slightly and the skin he previously picked is now bleeding and stinging terribly.
Firstly, In-ho would ensure Gi-hun knows exactly who is in charge, has the upper hand. He’d “accidentally” place a hand on your lower back as he approaches your conversation from behind or lean closer to you lips, acting like he can’t hear you properly just to get a little closer to your face and block your view of Gi-hun so your eyes could focus solely on him.
In private, In-ho would question you about your little small talk, subtly hinting at how he dislikes you talking to him. “You seem to enjoy his company. What about him interests you so much?” His tone was calm, comforting even if not for the deadly glare he gave you on accident.
His jealousy gnaws on him too much. In-ho tries to make Gi-hun take more risks in order to get him killed. Pushing him to provoke other players, advising him to do the stupid things during the death games… anything really to make him disappear without arising suspicion on his part.
In-ho’s jealousy is a slow burning fire that threatens to spread like a wildfire. He can barely contain it, with your help of course. Subconsciously you soothe his anger and clean his mind of all worries a man in love could have. You make him safer for other people.
Everyone but Gi-hun.
💠
Author’s note. Thank you for reading <3
Aghsgshdnf I always feel so much better when writing tooth rotting fluff, this is totally not my comfort zone! In fact, it’s my war zone 😭 I hope you enjoyed it anyway and it was the way you guys hoped/imagined everything. Again I am pretty nervous about posting this, soo… I hope this is alright 😀
Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!!
Stay safe and take care of yourselves <3
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sunsburns · 9 months ago
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been thinking about dating college!art and you get into a really big fight until he decides to show up at your dorm *cough* make up sex *cough*
i had wayy too much fun with this… SMUT 17+
“i’m still mad at you, you know.” there’s no real bite to your bark, not when your voice is breathless, your cheeks are flushed, and your hands keep running through his hair.
“yeah, i know,” art drawls, his voice softening. he says it because a part of him knows it’s true, but he can’t help the faint smile that grows on his face. he knows you won’t stay mad for long, but he still feels the weight of his guilt pressing down on him. he’d do anything to make it up to you. with every press of his lips, he mutters a quiet “i’m sorry,” against your skin, then grazes his teeth along your ankle before making his way up your leg.
he’d thought of a million different things to say to you, how he would stand his ground or cave to your defences. but all of it was thrown out the window the moment you opened that door. you were wearing his shirt—or maybe it was patrick’s, maybe even tashi’s—and a pair of panties. the sight of your messy desk, covered in textbooks, notebooks, and your open laptop, reminded him you were doing homework, or trying to. but the ache in his chest at the thought of you hating him was overwhelming.
it was killing him knowing you were upset, and he was the cause of it. that’s why art had taken a trip to the nearest farmer’s market the moment he was off the court, and he bought you flowers and your favourite snack and knocked on your door.
now the flowers are forgotten by your desk, the snacks on the floor, and you’re still trying to keep up the act that you’re mad at art. but the truth is, you can’t even remember what you were mad at him about in the first place. 
the way he looks at you, with such earnest remorse and tenderness, makes it hard to hold onto your anger. you sigh, running your fingers through his hair again, feeling the tension between you start to melt away.
“i hate how you do this to me,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. art’s eyes meet yours, and he pauses, his lips hovering just above your knee.
“i know,” he says again, his voice filled with a mix of regret and hope. his hands roam up the sides of your thighs, fingers brushing your ass before they turn into the curve between your legs. “but i’m here now,” he presses a kiss against your hot skin again, making his way up, up, and up. “and i want to make it right.”
as he continues his gentle kisses, moving slowly and tenderly, you feel your defences crumbling. the anger that once felt so strong is now just a distant memory. art’s presence, his touch, his voice, his words, all of him- it’s all you can think about.
he looks up at you, sitting on the bed while he kneels before you. you’re watching him, waiting for his next move when he is still between your legs. 
when you run your nails against his scalp, art doesn't bother hiding the quiet whimper that slips past his lips before he closes his eyes and leans his head towards your arm. 
he lets you hold him while his hands trail up your sides, reaching and groping anything he can before his fingers tug at your panties, and he carefully slips them off you.
when he kisses your clit, you rest your leg over his shoulder, heel pressing against the muscles of his back. his arms wrap around your thighs, pulling you closer while he starts to eat you out. 
art starts slow, calculated strokes of his tongue against you, running it in tight circles against your clit, dipping it lower when he gets a little more confident. when you arch your back and whine, pushing his head closer so you can ride his face, he starts to pick up the pace, hoping to hear that sound come out of you again.
when his tongue pokes at your cunt, it draws a loud moan out of you, blood rushing to your ears. “fuck, art,” you whimper, grinding against his face. “feels so good.”
art seems to like it more than you, eyes closed in bliss, humming and moaning against your cunt, each vibration from his mouth making you spiral. his hips buck up into nothing, but he doesn't seem to mind as his hands hold onto you tighter, as if he is afraid to lose you. 
“you’re so pretty like this,” you barely manage to get out, your heart thumping against your chest.
art moans again at your praise and finally opens his eyes to meet your burning gaze. his low, nearly pathetic whine with his eyes on you was what it took to push you over the edge.
art lets you ride it out, he lets you grind against his face, he lets you use him again and again and again until you’ve had your fill and there is nothing left of him.
and when you cup his cheeks and bring his face to yours and kiss him like you have a one-track mind, he has an inkling feeling that you're not mad at him anymore. you press your forehead against his, hand cupping the back of his neck, and he lets out a sigh and you breathe it in. 
“i’m sorry,” he whispers, one more time, to make sure you know he means it.
you smile, offering him half a shrug and another kiss. “just let me return the favour.”
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dawngyu · 27 days ago
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THE SCIENTIST
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pairing: popular hueningkai x deaf fem!reader
summary: Kai, who thrived in sound. Loud noise, vibrant conversations, the hum of life. And the quiet girl that sits prettily by the window—had begun to haunt his mind—stirring his heart the way only music ever had.
There must be some scientific explanation for this... right?
warnings: deaf reader, set in 1995 timeline, verbal!abuse, physical!abuse, family-trauma, ableism!(hate this word so much). side character!death, purely work of fiction. subtle implications of survivor guilt, high-school setting but everyone is 18 and above. everything written here is not a description of any idols. characters like chae-won, yun-jin etc are used. if any of the warnings above might be triggering for you, please proceed with caution if you decided to read. (let me know if i missed anything.)
smutwarnings: explicit!smut, pull-out method(pls don't),fingering!, missionary!, virginity!loss. MDNI.
wc: 21k
notes: inspired by twinkling watermelon. while I’ve done some research to better understand what it’s like to be deaf, there may still be inaccuracies. I did my best to approach the subject with care and respect. love knows no boundaries, hence I wrote this piece. a big thank you to @killa-1009 for beta reading. ilysm.
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You were born with the inability to hear anything.
The world is nothing but a muted place for you. You never heard the birds singing at dawn, the hum of a bustling street, or the warmth in your parents’ voices—even your own. The sun might be painting the sky with its warm hues, but for you, it was just another day of deafening silence.
And then there was that one particular day.
You didn’t hear the crash, the scream of tyres, or the shattering glass. You didn’t hear your mother's voice, soft and trembling, as she held you close. Eyes brimming with tears, searching yours, face pale and streaked with blood.
You tried—desperately—to focus, to read the words forming on her lips. But your head spun, the world blurred, and all you could feel was her cold hands cradling your face. How can you? When you couldn't even hear your own pained whimpers from the glass that cut your skin. Strangers pulled you. They carried you away—away from her, away from her forever.
You’ve convinced yourself it must be punishment—a cruel reckoning from a life before this one.
Why else would your hearing be taken from you? Why else would the universe strip away the one person who truly saw you, who tried to understand you, even in your silence? What crime could have been so unforgivable that it warranted a lifetime of loss?
You stabbed at the food on your plate, pushing it around without taking a bite. Your stomach churned—not from hunger but from being trapped here. The room was filled with people who called themselves your family. Family—nothing more than a coincidence of living in the same house.
A sharp kick to your foot snapped you out of your thoughts. Your eyes met hers—your stepmother. Her perfectly practised smile didn’t reach her cold, calculating eyes.
She had arrived after the accident, ten years ago, when you were just eight. Back then, she was a tutor, brought in to give your father hope—a cruel, empty hope that you could still learn to speak. She had played her role well, and now she sat at the head of this table, the head of this house, ruling with her own. Her daughters—your stepsisters—sat on either side of her, mirroring her expressions, their eyes flickering toward you.
“Is the food not to your liking?” she asked—you read her lips, something you had to do out of necessity. Her stare burned into you.
You knew that look too well. Behave. Know your place.
And, as always, your father sat there, oblivious. His eyes never caught the disdain in hers, never lingered long enough to notice the cracks in the perfect picture she painted. Soon, he'll be back overseas for another business trip.
"Y/N?"
You hesitated, lifting your hand to sign, then you caught her eye—a sharp, pointed look. Your hand faltered, dropping back to your side.
Instead, you let out a hum. It wasn’t much, just a sound—a vibration you couldn’t hear but felt in your throat. She tilted her head slightly, giving a satisfied nod.
Your father pushed back his chair, standing with the same distracted air he always had. He walked over to you, placing a hand on your head, a gesture so routine it barely meant anything anymore. I’m going now. That was what it always meant.
He leaned down, pressing a kiss to your forehead briefly, before straightening up. His secretary hovered near the door. You watched his back as he walked out, leaving you staring from the table.
The day your mother left you, you lost... him too.
Seeing the doors close, you rose from your seat, but your stepmother was quicker, blocking your path. She loomed, her face a mask of forced patience. "Do I need to remind you again?" she said, "I said speak. No hand signs or whatever that is. That is not allowed here on this house. Do you want me to get mad at you again?"
Her glare felt like a physical force, pinning you to the spot. Unable to meet her eyes, you nodded weakly, looking at the floor. But she wasn’t done. She stepped closer, grabbing your shoulders in a firm, punishing grip. Her fingers dug into your skin as she shook you, her frustration spilling over.
Everyone watched. They just.. watched. The maids stood frozen in the corner, their expressions carefully blank, devoid of any emotion, too scared to intervene. Your stepsisters whispered to each other, their mocking smiles only adding to the humiliation.
You nodded again, your only escape was to comply. A soft hum escaped your lips, the sound she always, always insisted on, a token of submission that seemed to satisfy her. Her hands drop from your shoulders. The moment her grip released, you ran. Up the stairs, down the hall, into the only place that felt remotely yours—your room.
Once inside, you collapsed at your desk, leaning forward until your forehead pressed against the hard surface. The tears came quickly, spilling from your eyes as sobs racked your chest. They said crying was supposed to help, to lighten the burden somehow. But for you, it only made the weight heavier. You couldn’t even hear yourself cry. The silence made your pain feel endless.
In your despair, your arm knocked into something on the desk. You looked up in alarm, your heart skipping as you saw the mess. Paints, scattered and spilling, teetered dangerously close to the last drawing you had finished the night before.
Frantically, you reached out, your hands moving quickly to fix it. The thought of losing that small piece—felt unbearable. You righted the paints and saved the smudged edges of the paper, tears blurred your vision as you looked at the sketch.
A boy, in your uniform, with bangs that fell over his eyes and the back of his hair just shy of touching his collar, stood smiling softly. In his hands, he held a guitar, fingers resting gently on the strings.
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Huening Kai has so much to be delighted for—his mom, his dad, his sweet sisters—but if he’s being frank, what he’s most thankful for is the day he picked up a guitar and found his love for it.
Music has been his refuge during both the small, frustrating setbacks—like failing a math test he poured hours into studying for or losing a manga he cherished so much and never finding it again—and the moments that cut far deeper.
It was there when his parents decided to end their marriage, leaving him struggling at first—to make sense of a family that no longer looked the same. It was there when Lea packed her things and left for college, that he felt the ache of her absence in a much quieter house. It was there when two of his bandmates graduated, their spots in the group left empty, a reminder of how quickly life can change.
Through music, he met people who became his closest friends, his second family—people he couldn’t imagine living without.
It all comes back to one truth: music doesn’t betray you. It’s always there, no matter what. It’s honest, a constant in a world that often feels anything but. It’s there when you need it most, wrapping you in its arms like an old friend who doesn’t need words to understand—even when you can’t find them yourself.
“Huening Kai!” a high-pitched voice calls out. He feels the soft thud of pillows hitting him and a sharp slap against the back of his thigh. Seriously? He had just fallen asleep.
“I’m going to eat all your food if you don’t get up,” the voice threatens. That gets his attention. Groaning, he blinks his eyes open, adjusting to the dim light of his room. Familiar sight of used guitars propped against the wall, the gleam of trophies, and the dark violet hue that wraps around the room.
He blinks. Oh. It’s his sister, Hiyyih.
Hiyyih stands there, a plate in one hand, an annoyed look plastered across her face. Kai can tell she’s been sent by their mom to rouse him, probably against her will. She takes a deliberate bite of scrambled eggs, her eyes narrowing as she gives him a pointed look before turning to leave.
Kai chuckles softly, shaking his head as he rubs his eyes. He stretches, muscles still heavy, and a frown tugs at his lips. Today is the first day of his last year in high school. The final chapter. Soobin and Yeonjun won’t be there anymore. He sighs, swinging his leg off the bed.
He runs a hand to his tousled hair, grabs a hoodie from the back of his chair and pulls it over his head. He heads towards the chatter—smell of eggs, bacon and pancakes makes his stomach growl.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," His mom greets him with a smile. His frame now towering over the kitchen shelves. He catches her watching him, a soft look in her eyes, and it makes him smile back.
"Morning," Kai mumbles, sits down at the table, reaching for a slice of toast.
Hiyyih watches him,"I thought I was going to have to eat all your food," she teases.
Kai rolls his eyes but grins. "You wish."
"Big day, huh? Last first day of school."
"Yeah. It feels… weird. Soobin and Yeonjun aren’t going to be there. Has Lea called yet?"
"She did. She's doing great so far, being a college girl." his mom answers, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure you'll make even greater memories this year."
Kai smiles, appreciating her words. "Thanks, Mom."
Breakfast was filled with small talk, morning routines wrapping around them. Hiyyih busied herself packing her lunch, their mom helping her with a few finishing touches. Being just a year below Kai, their schedules almost mirrored each other, so they will go to school together.
"Kai, want me to sneak some of these into your lunch?" Hiyyih asked, voice dripping with exaggerated sweetness. He glanced over to see her holding up rice balls shaped like hearts and little animals, clearly proud of her handiwork.
"No, thank you," Kai replied, his tone flat but amused.
"Killjoy," she muttered, giving him a mock glare before returning to her task. He watches as she carefully places a tiny heart-shaped piece of seaweed to form a cat's nose. Something he did not understand.
Why go through all that effort?
The three of them make their way to their mom’s old car, a little worn but still reliable. Kai slips into the passenger seat, and Hiyyih climbs into the back, fussing with her hair even though she just brushed it a minute ago.
“Why don’t you let me drive?” Kai asks as the car starts rolling through the neighborhood. “That way you don’t have to keep going back and forth from school to home.”
His mom glances at him, a smile tugging at her lips. “Son, just because you turned 18 last summer doesn’t mean I’m handing over the keys. Besides,” she adds warmly, “I want to do this for you and Hiyyih.”
Kai leans back in his seat, nodding. She’s right. And anyway, it’s not like they head home together after school. His afternoons are spent in the band room while Hiyyih flits between her own plans, always busy with something or some girlfriends.
The car rolls up to the massive school grounds, Kai glances out the window. The sight of students milling around, the towering building ahead—it’s the same as always. He exhales and starts gathering his things.
He steps out, the crisp air latch on his face. With a quick ruffle of his hair, he pushes his longer bangs away from his eyes, though they fall back almost immediately. The strands at the back have grown out too, brushing the collar of his jacket. Slinging his backpack over his right shoulder and his guitar case over his left, he adjusts the weight and sets off toward the main building. Black—headphones rest around his neck.
He’s barely made it a few steps before he feels it—the stares. The whispers.
“Isn’t he one of the handsome seniors?” “The main guitarist of TXT.” — “He’s so tall. And cute.”
Kai shrugs it off, keeping his focus ahead. He’s used to it. Beside him, Hiyyih is already swept up by one of her friends, her laughter fading into the background after she’s pulled in another direction. His feet carried him down the well-worn hallway, a path he didn’t even have to think about. He could probably make the walk blindfolded. The band room.
When he reached the door, he grasped the doorknob and paused, a small smirk tugging at his lips as the low, bassline thrummed from inside. Peeking inside, the sight was just as he expected—home.
“Yo! Huening Kai!” Beomgyu’s voice rang out, bright and animated, as he set his bass down. His grin widened as he crossed the room in a few quick steps, pulling Kai into a hug before he could dodge. “How was your summer?”
Kai let out a soft laugh, prying Beomgyu’s arms off him. “It was fine. I went shopping with Taehyun a couple of times,” he said, making his way toward his guitar shelf. “Watch it.” he added, shooting Beomgyu a look as the other trailed dangerously close behind.
Beomgyu’s eyes landed on the guitar case Kai was carrying, and his grin turned sly. “What’s this? A new baby?”
“Yeah,” Kai replied, carefully unzipping the case and pulling the guitar out as if it were a fragile treasure. “Dad brought it back from abroad.”
Beomgyu snickered, reaching out to pinch Kai’s cheek. “You’re absolutely smitten, aren’t you?”
“Would you stop?” Kai swatted his hand away, but there was no hiding the small, proud smile tugging at his lips.
Before Beomgyu could tease him further, the door swung open again. Taehyun stepped inside, clipboard in hand, expression calm and no-nonsense as usual. “The new auditionees are here,” he announced, motioning to the two figures who followed him in.
“This is Heeseung,” Taehyun said, gesturing to the taller one. “He’s here to audition for piano. And Jay—he’s trying out for drums.”
Kai glanced at the newcomers, giving them a polite nod as Beomgyu rubbed his hands together, mischievous grin returning. "Alright," Beomgyu said, "let’s see what they’ve got."
The next hour flew by with skills checks, and it didn’t take long for them to see that Heeseung and Jay were solid. They were skilled, sharp, and seemed to fit right into the gaps left by Soobin and Yeonjun. It felt like they could pick up the left space and carry it forward without missing a beat.
Afterwards, Taehyun waved them off, heading to his next class, while Kai and Beomgyu walked in the opposite direction. They shared the same class, while Taehyun, ever the academic overachiever, headed to the advanced one.
“Only the brainiacs go there,” Beomgyu says, nudging Kai with his elbow.
Kai shook his head. Taehyun’s class was famous for being perfectly orderly—a stark contrast to theirs, which was noisy and chaotic on a good day. Their room always felt like the epicentre of the school’s commotion, every day.
The rest of the hours passed in a blur of introductions and meetings with their new advisors. And, of course, Kai’s least favourite math teacher made his return, every bit as strict as before.
Kai slouched in his chair, barely stifling a groan as the teacher droned on about equations and formulas. His mind drifted—Why do he even need this? Is he going to calculate the quadratic formula to buy chips at the grocery store? No.
He glanced down at his hands, the faint calluses on his fingertips from hours of guitar practice catching his eye. He’d much rather spend his time until his hands were sore than trying to decipher problems that made no sense to him.
Beomgyu leaned over, “I think your brain just checked out.”
Kai grinned, giving him a light shove. “Math checked me out first.”
The two of them exchanged quiet laughter, abruptly stopping when the teacher eyed them down.
By the time the last class wrapped up at 4 p.m., Kai found himself right back where he’d started his day: the band room. He and his four bandmates were deep into their after-school practice, bestowed in instruments, time slipped by unnoticed.
“Shoot,” Jay muttered, his gaze snapping to the wall clock. 7:30 p.m. Thirty minutes past the curfew for club rooms.
The realization hit them all at once. If the guards caught them here, it would mean one thing: detention.
“Pack up. Now,” Taehyun said, already slinging his bag over his shoulder. The others scrambled to gather their own gear.
Everyone slipped out into the dark, quiet halls, trying to move as silently as possible. The sound of their footsteps seemed louder.
“Hey! Who’s there?” A booming voice cut through, and suddenly, ta flash of light caught them mid-step.
“Go!” someone hissed, and chaos erupted. The guard started running toward them, and they bolted in every direction. Beomgyu let out a panicked squeal as he sprinted with his bass case clutched in one hand.
Kai didn’t have time to think—he just ran, heart pounded as his legs carried him blindly through the halls. He rounded a corner, only to see another guard up ahead. The group split, scattering.
He can’t get detention on the first day. His lungs burned as he pushed himself further. He kept running, not even sure where he was going, until his body… gave out.
Panting, he slumped near the wall, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. He glanced over his shoulder and froze. A flashlight beam swept the hallway behind him. His pulse quickened as he realized he was at a dead end.
Frantically, his eyes darted around, then saw a room ahead. Kai’s brow furrowed at the sight of the mop propped against the door handle, clearly used as a makeshift way to keep it shut. Weird.
He hurried over, carefully removing the mop, and slipped inside. The room was pitch dark, save for the faint glow of light spilling in from the high windows. It cast eerie shadows on the walls, but he didn’t care. He just needed to hide.
Kai tried flipping the light switch, but nothing happened. Figures, he thought bitterly. He shut the door as quietly as he could, pressing his back against it to steady his breathing.
“Anyone there?” The sound of footsteps echoed outside. The guard’s flashlight swept across the small window in the door, and Kai instinctively slid to the floor, curling himself. He crawled, akwardly, backwards, toward the corner at the far end of the room, hoping to make himself as invisible as possible.
But something bumped against his foot. He whipped his head around, his breath catching in his throat. Sitting in the corner was someone else.
You.
Your legs were drawn up to your chest, wide eyes staring right back at him.
“Shi—” Kai started to curse but stopped himself, clapping a hand over his mouth—heart hammered in his chest, not sure if it was your unexpected presence in the room that caused it—or the way your wide, startled eyes locked onto his in this small space.
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Chae-won, like you, is in her final year of high school, while Yun-jin is a year below. Your stepsisters.
When they first moved in, your twelve-year-old self had hoped you could be... friends. You had imagined shared secrets, laughter, and maybe even sisterly bonds. But the moment your father’s attention shifted elsewhere, it was clear that your stepmother’s whispers had already planted seeds of resentment in their hearts.
You couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it started. When did it all go wrong? Was it because you were the only biological daughter in the house? Because your father, despite his best intentions, never really connected with them either? Or was it simply because you couldn’t speak?
The inability to communicate fully, to bridge the gap between your world and theirs, seemed to widen the chasm. You often wondered if things would have been different if you could—if words could have built a room where silence had only erected walls.
After years of trying, of reaching out and being met with cold indifference or outright hostility, you gave up. You stopped hoping for understanding, stopped yearning for a connection that seemed impossible. The effort of trying to be part of their society when they wanted nothing to do with yours had only broken your heart.
"Watch where you're going, fucking weirdo," Chae-won sneers, her foot juts out, sending you stumbling. The water bucket you were carrying—filled with the murky grey water of used paintbrushes—tips forward, dousing your chest. You don’t hear the laughter, but you can feel it, buzzing around you in the painting room.
You look up, your gaze darts to Yun-jin. She leans against the counter, arms crossed, her painted red lips curved into a smug smirk. She raises an eyebrow, as if daring you to do something about it.
You’re in your school's art room, surrounded by the faint smell of turpentine and dried paint. Art has always been your peace. But your love for it didn’t go unnoticed by your stepmother.
It wasn’t long before she pushed her daughters into it too. You’re not sure if it was to force some kind of twisted togetherness between you, or if it was her way of ensuring they would always outshine you, in everything—even this.
You push yourself up, your clothes clinging to your body, damp. Your eyes narrow as you stare at Chae-won. You want to tell her off, to demand an apology, to ask why she does this—
"Cat got your tongue?" she taunts, her lips curl into a cruel grin. "Oh, wait. You can’t speak. Poor girl. That’s what you get for being such an attention seeker."
Your breath hitches as your brows knit in fury. You can’t reply with words, but actions—actions—will do just fine.
As she turns to leave, you grab her hair, yanking it back with all the frustration and hurt bottled up. She shrieks, spinning around to claw at you, and soon you’re both tangled in a fierce struggle.
The others jump in.
Someone grabs your arm, wrenching it back. Another slaps you hard across the face, the sting reverberating through your skull. A foot connects with your leg, sending you buckling. You hit the ground again, tasting blood on your lips as they shove you down.
Your things are heartlessly thrown at you—your bag, your books, your sketchpad—hitting you like stones. Footsteps retreating, laughter echoing in their faces. They close the door before you can even blink.
You force yourself to your feet, every movement a struggle against the ache in your body. You stumble to the door, testing the handle. It doesn’t budge. Of course, it doesn’t. They’ve done this before.
Silence.
You sink back down onto the hard floor, your chest heaving as tears spill freely down your cheeks. Trembling hands reach up to the corner of your lips, fingers brushing the split skin. The sting makes you wince.
The clock ticks on, indifferent. 4:50 p.m.
You take a shuddering breath and wipe your tears with unsteady hands. You smooth your hair, trying to tame the mess they made of it. With a quick swipe, you clear the blood from your mouth, leaving behind only the faint metallic taste.
All you can do now is wait. Alone—praying—that someone will come and find you in this empty room.
What you didn’t expect was that someone would come—three hours later, long after the sun had set. You’d been staring at the door for so long that when it finally creaked open, you were already halfway to your feet.
But then you froze.
It’s him.
Of all people, it’s him.
You swallowed the surprise in your throat, pulse-quickening as you watched him slip inside, crouching low, moving backward like he was avoiding something.
He was hiding. From what, you didn’t know—not until a beam of light swept across the windows above, brushing against the walls like a searching hand. Your body stiffened, instinct telling you to stay still.
You weren’t sure you could.
When his gaze finally landed on you, the shock in his expression was unmistakable—and you knew yours mirrored his. Suspended in that shared disbelief.
“Quiet, please,” his lips shaped the words. His hand rose, a single finger pressing against his mouth. The dim light barely reached him, but you caught the faint pink of his lips.
Minutes passed. Neither of you spoke, just staring at each other like you were both trying to figure out something. He shifted, his eyes widening in alarm.
“B-blood,” he stammered, pointing at your forehead.
Your hand shot up instinctively, fingers brushing against the skin there. When you pulled it back, you saw it—smudges of red streaking your fingertips.
He's as startled as you, he tapped his chest, like he was trying to centre himself, and quickly rummaged through his pocket. He pulled out a handkerchief, holding it out to you with a slightly trembling hand.
You didn’t take it. You couldn’t. It must be the ache in your bones, the hunger in your stomach, the blood still fresh on your hands—or maybe... your mind was still catching up to the fact that he was here, standing this close to you.
When you didn’t move, he took another step forward, hesitating only briefly before carefully pressing the cloth to your forehead. His touch was cautious, you could feel the warmth of his hand through the fabric.
From this close, you could smell him. Clean, with a faint trace of musk, and something sweet underneath. You hated how your chest tightened because of it.
“What happened? Why are you here?” he asked, his fingers were steady as he wiped the blood from your skin. His brow furrowed as he inspected the small cut, his concern written plainly on his face. “Did someone lock you in?”
You shook your head, hesitant. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, so you let your gaze fall somewhere—anywhere—but on his eyes.
He didn’t press for more. “Let’s get out of here.”
His hand found yours. All you could do was stare at your entwined fingers. You can feel the tip of your ears go warm. He gave it a gentle squeeze before he stood and pulled you up from the cold, unforgiving floor.
The boy who had only ever been a distant figure to you. The boy you’d sketched on countless pages, the one whose smile crinkled his eyes so perfectly it made your chest ache. The boy you were sure didn’t even know you existed.
He pulls you out of this suffocating room. His tall, sure figure led, guiding you as you ran. Every so often, he glances back, his eyes searching yours and for a fleeting moment, you glance down and see your shadows on the wall—together. His hands never let go of yours until you weren't in the dark anymore.
Huening Kai.
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Kai slouches in his seat, letting out another heavy sigh. His body’s in class, sure, but his mind? It’s stuck somewhere else—somewhere back last night.
He can’t stop thinking about you. And he's not sure why.
You both made it out of the school grounds safely, and he even helped you gather your things from your locker. He stood there awkwardly, watching when you downed a bottle of water in one long gulp like your life depended on it. His suspicions were confirmed—someone did lock you in that room.
How long had you waited, sitting there in the dark? His stomach churned at the thought. What if he hadn’t been hiding that way? What if no one had found you? The idea of you spending the entire night in that empty space until a teacher or janitor happened upon you made his heart race. It’s… eating him alive.
But the thing that gets him, the part he can’t stop replaying, is how… quiet you were. No explanations, no complaints—just a nod here and there, avoiding his eyes the whole time. Did he cross a line? Say something wrong? Overstep somehow? Did he offend you without realizing? Or worse—do you just not like him?
He rubs the back of his neck. And yet, despite all that, he also can’t stop thinking about how your eyes seem soft under the moonlight, making them look so—
“Dude.” Beomgyu’s voice cuts, “What’s with the brooding? Bell rang.”
Kai glances around the classroom. Almost empty. “Oh. Right. Nothing,” he mumbles, grabbing his bag.
Beomgyu narrows his eyes. “You’ve been sulking like my dog when I don’t share my snacks.”
Kai remained silent, pouting and followed Beomgyu out of the classroom. It’s lunch now, and as usual, they’re headed to meet Taehyun at the cafeteria. Heeseung and Jay will probably join them too.
Walking through the hall, Kai forces a polite smile at the people who greet him. Beomgyu, on the other hand, is his usual exuberant self, grinning and dapping up every other guy who greets him as they pass.
The two make their way into the cafeteria, people stared. They walk toward their usual spot, a table near the centre of the room. No one ever sits there. Everyone knows—it’s their table. Yeonjun made that mark. It's an unspoken rule.
Kai drops into his seat, setting his bag down and pulling out his packed lunch. The cafeteria food doesn’t really do it, not when his mom’s food is always better.
“What do you have?” Beomgyu asks, leaning over.
“Tempura and some beef,” Kai replies, popping a piece of shrimp into his mouth.
“Give me some,” Beomgyu demands, already reaching for his chopsticks. Kai rolls his eyes but slides the container a little closer, watching as Beomgyu happily steals a piece.
Taehyun walks in, weaving the crowded tables with his usual stride. “You're early,” he greets, his seat across from them. "That's a record."
Kai’s eyes flick toward the entrance, catching sight of you slipping. You moved slowly, clutching your tumbler. You keep your head low, glancing around as if to make sure no one’s watching. Kai stands, pushing his chair back abruptly. He can't miss this chance.
Beomgyu pauses mid-bite, raising an eyebrow. “What’re you doing?”
Taehyun gives him a sideways glance. “Kai?” Kai ignored them. He just heads toward you.
“Hey,” he calls out, but you don’t turn. Hesitating for only a second, he gently taps your shoulder.
You whirl around. Your grip tightens on the water bottle, and your eyes widen slightly when you realise it’s him. Around you, a few people glance over.
“Hey,” he says again, softer this time. “How’s your head?” He tilts his own slightly, trying to catch a glimpse of the bandaid peeking out near your hairline. “That looks better,” he murmurs.
“Would you like to join us for lunch?” He points behind him toward his table when you don't answer, where Beomgyu and Taehyun are undoubtedly watching. As he expected, you shake your head quickly, almost instinctively, avoiding his eyes.
The small rejection stings more than it should. Kai nods, trying to hide his disappointment. “Alright,” he mutters. Then, before he can second-guess himself, he gently takes the tumbler from your hands.
He heads to the water station, fills it to the brim, screws the cap on tightly, and hands it back to you. “Here,” he says simply. It's small. But he wanted to do it for you.
You nod, a small, polite gesture, and turn to leave without a word or a backward glance.
Kai watches you, chest tight. When he trudges back to his table, Beomgyu’s smirk is already waiting for him.
“What was that about?” Taehyun asks, leaning forward.
“I was just checking on her,” Kai mumbles, slumping into his seat. “She never talks to me. I don’t get it.”
Taehyun’s gaze sharpens, and he studies Kai for a moment before letting out a quiet sigh. “She can’t,” he finally says, voice calm but firm.
Kai blinks, caught off guard. “What do you mean?”
“She can’t hear you.” Taehyun explains, his tone softening. “She’s deaf, Kai,”
Taehyun filled Kai in, sharing what he knew about you.
Kai was surprised to learn that you were in the same advanced class. As always, you kept everything to yourself. Taehyun admitted he had tried reaching out to you before—once or twice—but even he hadn’t gotten far.
“She’s… just quiet,” Taehyun said with a shrug. “Not just because she’s deaf, either. I’ve tried writing things down for her, you know? Like, in a notebook, to make it easier. But she only ever gives one-word answers. A ‘yes��� here, a ‘no’ there.” He sighed, “It’s hard to get through to her.”
Kai leaned back in his seat, dragging a hand through his hair. Guilt tugged at him. He’d been so quick to assume you were ignoring him, brushing him off on purpose. But now?
Now, he couldn’t stop imagining what it must have been like for you that night. Locked, no way to call for help, no way to know if anyone was coming. Alone. Not even the sounds of footsteps approaching to give you hope.
He swallowed hard, his chest tightening. Would he have been able to handle that? Sitting there for hours, completely cut off from the world? Probably not. He’d have broken down.
That's why Kai finds himself walking in the opposite direction of his classroom, away from Beomgyu’s puzzled stare. He doesn’t look back. His feet carry him toward where Taehyun had gone—toward where he knows you are.
The hallway buzzes with life. Groups of students linger outside classrooms, laughing and chatting, their voices blending into the hour of lunch break. A few glance his way as he passes, curiosity in their eyes.
Kai’s steps slow as he approaches the room. The back entrance gives him a clear view inside. His eyes scan the rows of desks. Someone calls his name. Heads turn, smiles and greetings thrown his way.
But not yours.
You’re sitting in the front row, by the window, farthest from where he stands. The sunlight filters through the glass, casting a soft glow over you. There’s a sketchbook open on your desk, the pages large and blank except for the lines you’re drawing with practised ease. The way your hand moves—purposeful—tells him this is second nature to you.
You’re so focused, so completely lost, that you don’t notice the subtle breeze dancing through the window. It catches your hair, making it sway just enough to draw his attention.
He watches as you pause, tucking the stray strands behind your ear before continuing with your sketch. You look just like him whenever he's with his guitar. Kai feels something tighten in his chest.
You look beautiful.
He doesn’t even know your name. But now, he wants to. More than anything, he wants the honour of knowing you.
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It’s free time now, and the history teacher had just left. Most of the class scattered—some heading out to the grounds, others roaming the halls for a little fun. But you stayed. You always stayed.
The thought of running into your stepsisters made your stomach turn. They acted so innocent the night you came home, as if they had nothing to do with your wound. Your stepmother, of course, scolded you for being late, hurling her usual cutting remarks, but she didn’t dig any deeper. Sometimes you wondered if she knew—if she already suspected it was her daughters who had done it and simply chose to stay oblivious.
You sighed, flipping another page of your book, trying to block out the noise in your head.
The sudden sight of a chair being pulled up in front of your desk jolted you. You look up.
Huening Kai.
He was sitting right there, a small, easy smile on his face. His eyes held a kind of softness you weren’t used to. And then, he waved.
Your eyes widened in surprise, and instinctively, you turned your head to check if he was talking to someone else. Surely, this wasn’t for you. But the room was nearly empty. The only other person was fast asleep at the back.
Kai watches as you glance around nervously, he might have thought how beautiful you were from afar, but sitting this close now—you’re breathtaking.
When your eyes meet his again, questioning, he clears his throat and speaks. “Hi.”
You nod, silent—attentive. His voice softens, deliberate as he says the next words slowly, “Can I have your name?”
It takes a moment for the meaning to click, and then you’re reaching for your bag, fingers fumbling slightly as you pull out a notebook—the one you use to communicate.
Kai watches as you flip through the pages, landing on a blank one. You jot something down quickly and then turn it toward him.
Y/N.
He reads it, and a smile breaks across his face, his dimple appearing. You notice for the first time the delicate constellation of beauty marks scattered across his skin. How it suits him.
“Y/N,” he repeats, your name rolling off his tongue like he’s trying it out for the first time. His gaze lifts to meet yours. “That’s a pretty name.”
The compliment catches you off guard, and heat rises to your cheeks. You look away—embarrassed. His fingers tap lightly on your desk, drawing your attention back.
“How are you?” he asks.
You write, I’m okay.
Kai reads it, his brows furrowing slightly. Without hesitation, he leans in, his voice low but insistent. “Does anyone bother you? You know… when I found you that night. That wasn’t an accident, was it?”
You stare at him, lips parting slightly in surprise. Kai thinks for a moment that maybe you didn’t catch what he said. But then, slowly, you lift your pen: Why?
Just as he opens his mouth to explain, you’re already writing again.
Is it because you pity me? You’re looking at him now—directly, unflinchingly.
He doesn't want you to misunderstand anything. So he gently takes the pen from your hand, his fingers brushing yours for a moment. Without saying a word, he leans down and writes his response in your notebook.
Because I want to be your friend...
Your breath catches as you read his words. He adds another line beneath it, the letters a little bolder this time.
And because no one deserves what happened to you.
Kai looks at you then, his expression earnest and open, waiting. The notebook sits between you, and the sound of a new bridge forming in the back of your mind.
When you didn't write anything back, he glances down and picks up the pen again, his handwriting slow and deliberate.
By the way, my name is—
Before he can finish, you reach forward, your hand brushing his ever so slightly making him freeze. You write, finishing it for him.
Kai. Right?
The faintest flicker of surprise crosses his face when he sees what you’ve written. His lips twitch into a small smile, trying his hardest not to let out a wide grin.
You look up, meeting his gaze again, and shrug lightly as if to say, Of course, I know who you are.
Everybody knows you.
The words hang there on the page, Kai blinks, processing your response, and then lets out a soft laugh, his shoulders shaking gently, lips slightly apart.
You watch him, a strange ache tugs at your chest. You wonder, How does his laugh sound? Does it sound as pretty as he looks? Now, you're wishing for something you’ve trained yourself not to want—a window into the world you’ve long been shut out of.
It'll be nice to hear his laugh.
The two of you spent the rest of your free time in that same spot. You talked—or rather, wrote—filling the pages of your notebook with conversation. He was surprisingly talkative, and before you knew it, you'd used up two blank pages. When the conversation naturally faded, you went back to your book, but this time, you pulled another one from your bag and handed it to Kai. He took it with a small smile and began to read as well.
There you were, two students, sitting across from each other, lost in your own worlds yet somehow sharing the same one. The room felt warmer, leaving just the two of you in the bubble. You were aware of the flush in your cheeks, the way it stubbornly lingered, but you didn’t mind.
You snapped out of your thoughts when you noticed classmates filtering back into the room. Their steps slowed as they took in the scene—Kai, the school’s band guitarist, slouched in front of your desk, reading quietly across from you, the school's outcast. The deaf girl. His long legs stretched out under the desk, almost touching yours.
He didn’t bother to look up. He didn’t greet them or acknowledge the weight of their stares. Instead, his eyes stayed on the page, though every now and then, they flickered back to you. Each time, he’d give you that same small, reassuring smile—the one that made your heart flutter.
He snapped out of it when your foot gently nudged his leg. The classroom was full now, with students bustling back to their seats, most kept stealing glances at Kai. Their eyes darted back and forth, curiosity written all over their faces, as if trying to make sense of why he was here with you.
Out of the corner, you saw Taehyun make his way over. You couldn’t catch their conversation—Taehyun’s body was turned slightly away—but it was clear from his expression that he was asking why Kai was here. Kai gave him a brief nod, and after a moment, Taehyun returned to his seat, still throwing occasional glances in your direction.
You glanced at the clock. Five minutes left of free time. Before you could process it, you felt a light tap on your shoulder. Kai stood, waving a quick goodbye. He slid his hands into his pockets, all eyes on him as he walked out.
He had just spent his entire free time here. Here, with you.
You swallowed hard, your heart thudding in your chest. Your gaze drifted down the newly etched words he left in your notebook.
See you later :>
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You found yourself smiling at nothing, the memory of your afternoon with Kai playing over and over in your mind. Back home now, the evening settling around you, it felt.. warm.
With a watering can in hand, you moved through the small garden—your mother’s garden. It was one of the few things left untouched by your stepmother, a living memory of the woman who once nurtured it with care. What had started as a modest patch of green had grown into something more of a sanctuary.
Your gaze fell on the cornflowers nearby, their vivid blue seeming to shine a little brighter today. Maybe it was the light, or maybe it was the joy still bubbling in your chest, making everything around you seem more… alive, more beautiful. You crouched, fingers brushing gently against the petals, and it felt like your mother was right there, as if she, too, could sense the happiness blooming inside you.
Your thoughts were abruptly cut off by an icy cascade of water, soaking you from head to toe. The coldness stole your breath, bit into your skin and you let out a shriek, the shock more than you could bear. Spinning around, you found Chae-won standing there, a smug grin plastered on her face, the empty bucket tossed carelessly to the side. Behind her, Yun-jin stood with her arms crossed, her glare sharp.
"Are you a witch now, too?" Chae-won sneered, her voice dripping with mockery. Her eyes locked onto yours, glinting with cruel satisfaction. "For someone who's deaf, you're pretty damn loud."
Before you could react, she grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking you down with a force that sent you stumbling. Your knees hit the ground hard, the sting of the impact mixing with the cold that seeped into your clothes. You trembled, pain and humiliation washing over you.
"Kai? What did you say to him?" Chae-won continued. "What the fuck did you say to make him hang out with trash like you?"
Tears welled up in your eyes. You tried to stand, but Chae-won shoved you back down, making you cry out in frustration. You reached for her, desperate to defend yourself, but Yun-jin stepped in, pulling Chae-won away, smirking and enjoying your helplessness.
Chae-won then dusted off her shirt as if your touch had soiled her, letting out an exaggerated huff. "You better not think about—"
Her threat was cut short by the arrival of your stepmother. "Chae-won," She approached, her eyes sweeping over your sodden form with a detached disapproval. "Her father might come home today."
That was enough to make Chae-won and Yun-jin roll their eyes, angrily retreating into the house, but not before casting you one last withering glare.
Your stepmother's gaze lingered on the garden, then flicked back to you, her expression unreadable. "Fix yourself," she said coldly before turning away, following her daughters inside, as if she just didn't witness them assault you.
You wiped your tears with the back of your hand. The cold water seeped into your skin, its touch biting deep, while the chill of the night’s wind wrapped around you, amplifying the discomfort.
When—when—would they ever stop? When would they finally fail to crush anything close to the hope you dared to feel? You swallowed hard, heart hurt when you saw one of the cornflowers crushed, the delicate blue petals were bent and broken, scattered across the dirt like they didn’t matter.
Just like what they did to you.
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Kai thrummed his guitar, his head bobbing in time with the beat as Jay kept pace on the drums. A wide grin spread across his face as he glanced at Jay, impressed. That guy could really play.
The upcoming festival had everyone excited, especially since their band was set to perform. It wasn’t just their idea; the school had practically begged them to be part of the lineup. Naturally, everyone agreed.
As the final song ended, Kai slung his guitar strap off and gave Heeseung and Jay playful pats on the back. “Good session,” he said, voice light. Taehyun had already disappeared for some student council meeting, and Beomgyu crouched near the amp, fiddling with the cables.
As Heeseung and Jay left the practice room, Beomgyu glanced up, a sly smirk tugging at his lips. “So… you caused quite a stir yesterday, huh.”
Kai paused, brow furrowing. “What are you talking about?”
Beomgyu leaned back, his arms crossed over his chest. “Everyone’s talking about you and… the deaf girl. How you were hanging out with her.”
Kai’s hand stilled on his guitar case. “Don’t call her that,” he said sharply, “She has a name.”
Beomgyu blinked, taken aback by the intensity of the glare Kai shot him. He raised his hands in mock surrender, smirk faltering. “Whoa, okay. Chill, man. That was disrespectful of me. I'm sorry.” Kai didn’t respond, his focus shifting back to securing his guitar. The other could tell he was still irritated.
“So,” Beomgyu's tone was now more careful. “What’s her name?”
Kai hesitated, his fingers pausing over the latch of the case. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, “Y/N.”
Beomgyu caught it—the way Kai’s whole demeanour shifted, softening just at the mention of your name. He grinned knowingly, a teasing glint in his eye.
“Oh, man, you’ve got it bad, huh?” Kai didn’t answer, but the way he bit his lip, was enough. Beomgyu chuckled, shaking his head as he stood. “You’re in deep, dude.”
The two of them walked out of the band room, sunlight streaming across the school grounds as they headed toward their next class. Kai’s guitar hung over his back, his steps light with anticipation. He had a plan for today’s free time—he was going to show it to you.
Then he froze.
“Why’d you stop?” Beomgyu asked, frowning at his friend’s sudden halt.
Kai’s gaze was locked on you. You were walking across the yard, a book clutched in your hand. But something was off. Your steps were uneven, almost shaky, like you were struggling to keep your balance. His chest tightened as he noticed you blink rapidly, expression dazed.
A cold knot of worry tightened in Kai’s chest.
Kai bolted toward you, his long strides eating up the distance between you in moments. The world around him blurred—voices, students, the sun—all of it drowned out by the urgency pounding in his chest. He reached you just as your legs gave up. You fell into his arms.
“Hey, hey,” he murmured, voice shaking. His hand settled on your face, and the heat of your skin sent alarm bells ringing in his mind. Scorching hot. A fever.
Your eyes fluttered closed, forehead creased, and face was pale. Too pale.
“What the hell happened?” Beomgyu’s voice came from somewhere behind him, but Kai barely registered it. "Is she okay?"
Without thinking, Kai shrugged off his guitar, letting it drop carelessly to the ground. “Help me,” he said quickly, his voice tight. He grabbed your arm, trying to shift your weight. Beomgyu caught on immediately, stepping forward to assist.
Together, they managed to lift you onto Kai’s back. His arms hooked under your legs, his grip firm but gentle as he adjusted you. “Hold on,” With you securely on his back, Kai broke into a run, his breath coming in quick.
“Slow down, man! You’re gonna trip!” Beomgyu followed close behind, clutching the guitar Kai had abandoned without a second thought—because of you.
The school nurse moved quickly, her practiced hands checking your temperature and administering care as Kai stepped back, his chest still heaving from the run. He stood there, hands on his hips, watching you, his heart refusing to slow down. Beomgyu excused himself, talks about getting water, leaving Kai alone.
His eyes fell on the notebook you had been clutching, which fell on the floor. He reached for it carelessly—a loose page slipped free, back to the floor. He crouched to pick it up, and the moment he turned it over, his breath caught.
It was a sketch. Of him.
Every detail was there, drawn with painstaking precision—the dusting of freckles on his cheeks, small moles he often forgot about, his jawline, his hair. The lines were sure, as though you had poured hours into capturing him just… right.
His throat tightened as he stared, unable to tear his eyes away. Was this really how you saw him?
Kai swallowed hard, and glanced at the rest of the page. Small sketches of cats bordered the margins, their playful forms lightening the otherwise focused artwork. A soft smile enters his lips when his eyes also land on your pen, its barrel adorned with tiny cat designs. His fingers touch the paper, careful not to smudge your work.
You're perfect, he thought, the words echoing in his head, shouting like a whispered confession. How could someone be so perfect?
Kai had to leave you at the clinic to attend classes.
He hesitated, lingering by the door, his eyes darting back to your still form on the cot. You were fast asleep, but the colour slowly returned to your cheeks. He wanted to stay, to make sure you were okay, but he knew he couldn’t. With a defeated sigh, he left. And you were gone when he returned.
"Someone came to fetch her," the nurse explained when he asked. He's still bothered. You were home now, he told himself, safe and resting. Right?
The next morning came, he sat at the kitchen counter. What he wanted to do first thing, was to see you. "Hiyyih,"
She glanced at him over her shoulder, her brow raised. "Yeah?"
"Can you, uh… can you make my lunch today?" Hiyyih stopped, turning fully to face him. "What? But I always make your lunch."
Kai shifted in his seat, awkwardly. "I mean… could you make it like yours?"
"Like mine? What do you mean, like mine?"
Kai hesitated, the words sticking in his throat. Finally, he blurted out, "The cat rice balls. Can you add those?" There was silence as Hiyyih stared at him, her lips tight. Then, she broke into a slow, knowing smirk. "Cat rice balls, huh?"
Kai felt the heat up his neck, and he quickly averted his stare. "Just—just make them, okay?" He groaned, dropping his head onto the counter.
Hiyyih burst out laughing, her teasing ringing through. Oh, he's sure. This was going to haunt him for days.
Kai spent the day in restless anticipation, his usual self replaced with something far more jittery. Even his friends couldn’t ignore it. He fidgeted during class, zoned out at times, and seemed to barely hear what anyone was saying.
It was all because of you.
When he saw Taehyun at band practice earlier, the first words out of his mouth weren’t about music. “Is she coming today?”
Taehyun had nodded, confirming you were attending class, and Kai had been trying—and failing—to calm his racing thoughts ever since. By lunchtime, the decision was made. He slung his bag over his shoulder, he turned to Beomgyu. "I’m skipping the cafeteria today."
Beomgyu just gave him a knowing look, his smirk light, teasing. "Didn’t think you needed to explain," he points out. "Your face already did."
Kai didn’t even bother denying it. Instead, he took a steadying breath and headed toward the one place he knew he’d find you. Your classroom.
His steps slowed when he spotted you inside, seated at your desk. The heaviness in his chest lifts. You were pulling open a lunch box, carefully arranging everything, your expression calm and focused.
He stepped inside, and when he was almost infront of you, you glanced up, your eyes widening slightly when you saw him.
"Hi," Kai said, a small, nervous smile sitting on his lips. You blinked, surprised, but a faint smile broke through as you set your chopsticks down.
He scratched the back of his neck, suddenly feeling warm under your gaze. "I, uh… I figured I’d check on you. Make sure you’re okay, you know… after the other day."
You nod, reaching for your notebook to write a reply, but Kai gently stopped you with a small shake of his hand. “You should eat first, okay?” he said softly, his lips forming the words carefully for you to read.
Your response was simple—a quick thumbs-up—but it was enough to make a boyish grin spread across his face.
Pulling out a chair, Kai sat across from you, his movements just a little nervous, though he tried to hide it. He set his lunchbox on the table, the bright cat decorations catching your eye. It's hard to really miss how much effort had gone into it—cat-shaped rice balls, tiny details, and colourful accents that screamed effort.
Kai caught your expression. "Hiyyih made it," he admitted. What he didn’t mention was how he’d spent an entire morning persuading her to make it perfect, offering bribes, doing her chores, and enduring her teasing, all just to get her to agree.
He opened the lid and carefully moved a portion of the food into your lunchbox. "Here," he said, nudging it toward you.
You glanced at him in surprise, then back at the food, your lips parting slightly before they curved into a smile—a real smile. Not the polite, hesitant ones you used to give him, but a full, bright smile. It reached your eyes, crinkling them at the corners.
Kai froze for a moment, his breath catching in his throat. You’d smiled at him before, but not... like this.
He had never quite understood why his sister went to such lengths with these little creations—why she got up before sunrise to shape rice into animals or why her mood seemed to brighten whenever someone praised her work. But now, watching the way your face softened, the way your smile seemed to linger longer than usual, it all started to make sense.
If something as small and silly as this could make you look at him like this, if it could bring you even the smallest bit of joy, then he thought to himself—he’d start doing it too.
Swallowing, he picked up his chopsticks, forcing himself to eat even as his appetite felt oddly… irrelevant. He stole glances, and it struck him how happy you looked. The memory of when he’d first met you flashed in his mind, alone, wounded and withdrawn. And yet, here you were now.
His stomach fluttered, suddenly feeling full—not from the meal but from something that only your smile seemed to give.
After lunch, Kai didn’t get the chance to spend his free time with you. Beomgyu practically dragged him to practice, which he didn’t resist—especially since seeing you healthy and smiling had already lifted his spirits. His energy during practice was unmatched, his fingers flying over the guitar strings with a renewed vigour. For once, it felt effortless, like his heart was finally in sync with the music again.
When the day wound down, he found himself waiting by the school gates. A few students greeted him as they passed, and he returned their smiles politely, though his attention remained elsewhere. His heart leapt the moment he spotted you walking toward him, your steps purposeful yet light. His lips curved into a small smirk before he could help it.
"I wanted to see you before you went home," he said softly.
Your smile in response made his chest tighten, and you pulled a small notepad and pen from your pocket. After a brief moment of scribbling, you held it up for him to read:
Thank you for everything, Kai.
The simple words hit him harder than he expected, and a warm smile tugged at his lips. “You waiting for your sisters here?” he asked, but as soon as he mentioned them, your smile faltered slightly, and something shifted in your expression.
He remembered Taehyun mentioning that you had two sisters at school, but nothing beyond that. He didn’t press. All he knew was that you usually arrived and left together in the same car.
You scribbled another note. They went home early. Shopping, I think.
Kai’s brows furrowed slightly. Why didn’t they wait for you? Before he could ask, you were already writing your next reply.
I’ll take the bus today.
“Let me take you home,” he said, leaving no room for argument.
The bus was packed, and you followed Kai closely as he led the way. He glanced back, his eyes searching for something until they landed on an empty window seat. With a small nudge of his shoulder, he gestured for you to take it.
Sliding into the seat, you couldn’t help but notice how his arm brushed against yours as he stood beside you, gripping the rail overhead. He leaned down slightly, reaching for the notepad in your hands. His handwriting was a little crooked, he had written quickly, but his message was clear:
Are you okay?
You nodded and took the pen to write your response. Yes.
Satisfied, he smiled. He reaches out, hooking his pinky finger to yours. It stays there, throughout the ride. One that you wished that didn't have to end.
Kai’s eyes widened when you gestured toward your home.
Sure, his own house was comfortable—his family could provide everything he needed—but this? This was on another level. Massive gates, the sprawling estate beyond them, the kind of place that practically screamed wealth, grand estate that made him feel like he’d stepped onto the set of a drama. His thoughts stumbled over themselves as the realization hit: you were a chaebol.
And yet, the thought lingered in his mind: how could they leave you to manage on your own, just because your sisters decided to go out? The question sat uncomfortably in his chest, though he kept it to himself.
You turned to him, drawing his attention back to you. Standing there, you looked up at him, your figure small against his tall, broad frame. He looked so effortlessly handsome it made your chest ache. You wished, fleetingly, to reach out and run your fingers through those dark locks, to feel their texture beneath your hands. He had done so much for you today—more than you could put into words.
See you later?
Kai read it, his lips quirking into a gentle smile.“Go inside,” he said, tapping your head softly. “See you later.”
As you turned and walked toward the house, he stayed rooted to the spot, watching your retreating figure until you disappeared through the gates. He let out a quiet breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, his heart beating steadily against his ribs.
He could do this every day, he thought. Waiting for you, walking you home, making sure you were safe. He wanted to do this every day, however many days, as long as you’d let him.
After sending you home, Kai steps into a familiar bookstore, and the scent of old paper hits his face.
The owner greets him, casually mentioning the new volume of Slam Dunk just released, but Kai doesn’t even register the words. He’s already moving past, heading toward the back of the store where the shelves are less familiar.
He stops in front of a section—far away from the music books, the theory guides, and mangas. He picks it up.
Beginners: Sign Language.
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You closed the door behind you, the weight in your chest heavier than it should’ve been. Dinner was supposed to be a happy time, right? Eating with your family, sharing moments. But it never felt like that for you. Not in this house.
Your eyes caught the sight of the fax machine on the side table, a piece of paper hanging loosely from the tray. You walk over, your steps slow, uncertain. Only two people know your number: your dad, and… Kai. You grabbed the paper, the handwriting unmistakable.
Come out. Will be there in 20 mins. —Kai.
Your breath caught. Dinner had taken longer than that. You scrambled to the window, heart pounding, and there he was—a silhouette against the dim streetlights, a mess of dark hair leaning casually against the gate.
You didn’t hesitate. Grabbing your pen and notepad from the desk, you ran. The startled looks of the housemaids blurred past you, and even the sharp, judgmental gaze of your stepmother from the couch—teacup poised mid-sip—couldn’t stop you. She doesn’t matter right now. Nothing does but getting to him.
You burst through the front gates, your eyes locking with his. His face breaks into a soft, immediate smile when he sees you, the sight of you in your loose shirt and pyjamas makes his heart skip a beat.
You raise your notepad, writing quickly, then holding it up for him to see. What are you doing here?
You reach for your notepad and pen, the confusion evident on your face as you extend them toward him. But instead of taking them, his hands move, and the world around you seems to pause.
"Hi." His fingers shape the sign, hesitant, uncertain. Your heart stumbles as you watch his hand move again, spelling out your name, letter by letter, in sign language. It’s slow, almost clumsy, but every movement is intentional. He’s trying, and it sends your heart racing.
"How was your—" He falters mid-sign, his hands falling to his sides. You watch as he digs into his pocket, pulling out a small book. The title catches your eye, and your chest tightens. He scratches the back of his neck, looking at you with an embarrassed sort of determination as he mouths, Wait.
And then he tries again, repeating the signs, "How was your dinner?" His movements are a little smoother this time. The question lingers in the space between you, and you feel your throat tighten as tears prick at the corners of your eyes. It feels like you can hear—his voice.
Your body moves before you can think. You step forward and wrap your arms around his neck. Your head presses against his chest, and you feel the slight hitch in his breath before his arms slide around your waist, holding you close. His warmth steadies you as a single tear slips free, trailing down your cheek.
No one had ever done this for you before. No one had ever tried to meet you in your silence, to understand the world you lived in. At home, they’d dismissed sign language, rejected it, treating it like some kind of shameful reminder of what they wanted to ignore. They’d made you feel like you were something to be hidden, something that's less.
But here he was—a boy who, just weeks ago, had been a stranger—bridging the gap, pouring himself into learning just to reach you. Crossing the distance to meet you where you were alone.
For the first time, you didn’t feel stranded on an island of your own.
Kai spent the next few minutes basking in the warmth of your presence. When another tear slipped past your eye, he reached out, his thumb brushing it away with the gentleness of someone afraid to break something precious. His attempts at signing sentences were clumsy at best, and your happiness marked your face—something that made his heart do flips.
"Yah, I'm trying, you know," he huffed, feigning indignation as he stomped his foot playfully. His pout only deepened when you smiled at him, and he could feel the heat crawling up his neck to his cheeks. He wanted to tease you back, but the words caught in his throat when you raised your hands.
It was the first time you signed in front of him. The motion was small but deliberate, the flick of your hand touching your chin before extending toward him. Kai’s eyebrows knit together, his mind scrambling to catch up. He flipped the pages of his book, muttering, “Wait, what does that mean?”
You reached for your notepad, scribbling the word: Thank you.
Before he could process the words, you signed again, your hands moving with a fluidity that stopped him in his tracks. The glow of the moon and the faint light from the lamppost illuminated your every move, casting soft dancing shadows across your face. And Kai—he forgot how to breathe.
You looked… different. You were stunning. Not the shy, hesitant version of you he’d grown used to, but confident and sure. Each gesture was almost poetic, and he was utterly mesmerized. The way your fingers moved felt like a song without sound—it suited you in a way words never could. He didn’t even want to blink, because he was afraid he’d miss something.
All he could do was watch, completely captivated by the real you.
"You didn't really have to. But thank you… for learning it for me."
The moment was shattered by the loud creak of the gates swinging open. Kai turned, his gaze meeting a woman’s sharp, glaring eyes. He opened his mouth to bow in greeting, but he quickly realized her scowl wasn’t for him—it was directed squarely at you.
Confused, Kai glanced back at you, his eyes scanning your face. Panic was written all over it. You hastily scribbled on your notepad, the letters uneven and rushed: Step-mother. Go home now, Kai.
He read the words and nodded, even if he didn’t fully grasp the situation. When your eyes met his again, there was something pleading in them. Turning back to the woman, Kai mustered a polite bow. “Good evening,”
She didn’t acknowledge him. “Go inside or we’ll lock you out here all night.”
Kai froze, the words almost too cruel to believe. He remembers you being locked up that night at school. His jaw clenched, but he kept his expression neutral, eyes flicking back to you. You were already scribbling again: Good night. Be safe travelling home.
He noticed something then—why hadn’t you signed it? He’d learned those words, and he knew you knew them too. But he didn’t ask, didn’t want to add to your distress. Instead, he nodded silently, stepping forward to close the distance between you. He bent down and pressed a light, lingering kiss to your hairline. A small gesture to remind you that he was here, even if he had to leave now. "See you later."
When he straightened, he turned to your stepmother, who was staring at him with thinly veiled disdain. Kai met her gaze, nodded politely, and then stepped back.
He didn’t look away until he saw you retreat inside.
The gates slammed shut with a force that rattled him. Your stepmother's tone echoed in his ears, harsh and dripping with contempt. He hated the way she’d spoken to you, the way her eyes had looked at you as though you did something so wrong.
He walked away, fists clenched at his sides. The thought of you living in a house with someone like that left a bitter taste in his mouth.
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Kai reunited with you the next day.
He carefully tried to bring up the encounter with your stepmother, but you avoided the topic entirely. He didn’t push, though. Instead, he quietly accepted it when you told him you lived with her, your stepsisters, and that your father was out of town on business. He said he’d wait—that he’d listen when you were ready to open up, when you felt comfortable.
Now, he’s on his way to the band room, arriving half an hour early for practice. His hand is wrapped around yours as he pulls you along. The soft warmth of your fingers in his feels just right. Students pass by, glancing your way, but Kai doesn’t care. Not when you’re here with him.
You agreed to come, though you weren’t sure what to expect. When you step into the room, your eyes widen. Trophies line the shelves, instruments are arranged neatly against the walls, and there’s a large, inviting couch in the corner. There's also a small door that must lead to a private bathroom.
Kai settles you on the couch, his lips curving into a gentle smile as he pulls his guitar out of its case. He tells you he wanted you to see this. He also mentions the upcoming festival in two days—a subtle invitation in his words.
As he strums the first notes, your eyes are drawn to him. The memory of the first time you saw Kai surfaces—your second year of high school. That day, he was being calmed down by Soobin, the band’s previous genius pianist. Even then, he left an impression so strong that you couldn’t forget him, no matter how much time had passed.
Now, sitting here in the band room as he plays his guitar for you, it feels surreal. If someone had told you back then that this would happen, you’d have laughed it off or called it impossible. But here you are, and he glances up, his eyes flickering between the strings and your face.
"I like it," you sign.
Kai’s face lights up. He reaches for something—your eyes are drawn to his hands. There, faint guitar scars run across his fingers, etched into his skin like a map of all the hours he’s poured into his craft.
An idea enters your mind.
Two days later, the school day comes to an end. You quietly pack your belongings, slipping books and papers into your bag as the chatter of students fills the room. The festival is less than an hour away. You’re just about to zip up your bag when movement near the doorway catches your attention.
Choi Beomgyu steps into the classroom, his eyes scanning the room like he’s on a mission. You glance at him curiously as Taehyun notices and stands up, greeting him with a nod then points in your direction. Beomgyu makes his way over with Taehyun trailing behind him. "Hi, Y/N," he signs, the motion catching you completely off guard. Your eyes widen in surprise. Did Kai teach him that? Did he teach both of them?
Before you can even process the thought, Beomgyu hands you a folded shirt. You take it hesitantly, inspecting it as the fabric unfurls in your hands. The moment you see the name Huening Kai printed boldly on the back, your heart skips. It’s his band shirt.
“He’ll love it,” Beomgyu says, a small grin tugging at his lips and winks. He reaches out, lightly tapping your head like it’s the most casual thing in the world. Without another word, he throws an arm around Taehyun’s shoulders, and the two of them leave the classroom together. Some girls in your room look at you with dirty looks. It matters not, you'll have to change your shirt first.
Kai’s eyes catch on your shirt almost instantly, his pace slowing as he closes the distance between you.
Confusion flits across his face, but then realization dawns. His band shirt. His name, his number on your back. His eyes widen in disbelief, and he lets out a laugh.
When you’re close enough, he reaches out, gently turning you around so he can see the full print. His fingers linger lightly on your shoulders. His grin widens, a mix of pride and something softer that you can’t quite name.
“You’ll watch, right?” he asks. His throat feels tight, and it’s not just the sight of you in his shirt—it’s everything it means.
You nod, slowly reaching into your pocket, pulling out a small gift box. You hold it out to him, “For me?” he asks softly, taking it with both hands.
When he opens the box, his breath catches in his throat. Inside are guitar picks, each one smooth and carefully chosen, but what draws his attention is the tiny, handwritten phrase etched onto them. He squints, his eyes narrowing slightly as he tilts the pick closer to the light.
See you later.
The phrase so familiar, a staple in all your goodbyes. It’s what he always waits to hear from you, what he secretly pouts about if you forget to say it. It’s a simple phrase, used by so many people in passing, but between the two of you, it’s different—reassurance that you’ll always find your way back to each other.
His chest tightens, emotion welling up in a way he hadn’t expected. He steps forward, pulls you into a hug, holding you close, his chin resting on your head. "What do I do with you?" He whispers to himself. He finally pulls back, his hands linger at your elbows, eyes searching yours. You lift your hands to sign, your movements slow.
"Good luck, rock star."
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Soobin’s hand rested on your back, touch steadying as the crowd began to thicken around the stage. Kai had entrusted you to him and Yeonjun, and though the absence of Kai’s presence made you nervous, Soobin’s calm demeanour offered an unexpected sense of safety.
Yeonjun had gone to grab water, leaving you and Soobin to hold your place by the barricade. The festival was just moments away from starting, with students from your school, other schools, and alumni who had come back for the event. You found yourself gripping the metal tightly, the unfamiliar place… overwhelming. It's your first time to even attend one.
Soobin noticed immediately. He tapped your shoulder gently, “Are you okay?”
You turned to him, his concern reflected in his face. You nodded, returning a small smile. His kindness felt natural. You could see why Kai spoke of him so fondly.
You barely had time to respond before you were pulled into a sudden hug. The embrace was tight, and a sweet floral scent filled your senses. You froze in surprise, but when the person stepped back, the grin on her face was so bright and genuine that you couldn’t help but soften.
“Hi! I’m Hiyyih!” she exclaimed, her face full of excitement, her eyes shining like she’d been waiting forever to meet you. Her name made you pause, recognition flashing through your mind. Your eyes widened slightly, but you smiled back at her, quickly scribbling in your notepad.
Y/N. Nice to meet you, Hiyyih.
She read it, and immediately squealed, her reaction so heartfelt and full of life that it drew laughter from Soobin. “How did my brother pull you, huh?” she teased, shaking her head in disbelief. Then, with mock irritation, she turned to Soobin and added, “Seriously, how?”
Soobin chuckled, clearly amused. “I know. She's too pretty. Magic, maybe,” he offered casually, and Hiyyih groaned dramatically. She hooked her arm through yours, as if you’d known each other for years. You're glad they didn't mention the blush evident on your cheeks.
Yeonjun returned, handing you a cold bottle of water. “You okay?” he asked, his tone just as kind and considerate as Soobin’s had been. You nodded again, clutching the water tightly as you looked between them all—Hiyyih’s bright enthusiasm, Soobin’s quiet reassurance, and Yeonjun’s laid-back charm. It feels nice to be surrounded by people you want to be with.
You could get used to this. Being with people who made you feel like you mattered—more than your own family ever had.
It was dark now, the festival lit only by the vibrant glow of stage lights, casting shifting colours across the crowd. The ground trembled beneath your feet as people jumped and swayed, their cheers blending with the music in an electrifying symphony.
Your eyes scanned the stage, searching—and then you saw him. Kai. There he was, guitar in hand, lost in the music. The way he moved was effortless as if the instrument was an extension of himself. His face was lit up, not just by the stage lights but by a joy that radiated from within. He looked alive. Happy. He belonged there. He owns it.
And then his eyes found yours.
The chaos around you seemed to fade. Slowly, you signed, "You look cool," your hands steady even as your heart raced. You watched as his gaze followed the movement of your hands, his eyes softening with every word you formed. You didn’t need to be close to him. You didn’t need to hear his voice. As long as you could see him—and he could see you.
His lips curved into a smile, and he winked, the playful gesture making you smile back, heart swelling with pride.
The performance was incredible, each member of the band owning their moment, their energy filling the space and igniting the crowd. When the last song ended, the crowd erupted into cheers, and the band bowed together, camaraderie evident even from a distance. But before you could fully take in the scene, Kai was running.
The moment he stepped off the stage, his eyes searched for your face. His shoulders eased as soon as he saw you, surrounded by people he trusts. He loves performing—he truly does. But the thought of returning to you, is louder than any applause. His feet move before his mind can think.
Straight to you.
He reached you in seconds, his chest heaving, adrenaline still coursing through him. "I can't stop looking at you,” he said, his voice low, the words had been waiting to escape all night. His hands cradled your face, calloused by the guitar scars. "I need to kiss you right now or I'll go crazy."
You barely noticed the stares of the crowd or the murmurs of those nearby. All you could see was him. He leaned in, his breath mingling with yours, and his lips brushed against yours in the softest kiss. You’d always known his lips looked soft, but they still managed to surprise you—how perfectly they fit against yours.
When he pulled back, his grin was so wide. His arms wrapped around you tightly, holding you close as if you were the only thing that mattered. Around you, his friends clapped him on the back, their faces proud with congratulations.
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“See you later?” Kai signed, his movements fluid, more confident. You nodded with a smile, waving as he stepped back. His grin widened, and he watched you enter the gates of your home.
That smile lingered on your face, carrying you all the way inside. The front doors opened for you, the maids greeting you with quiet bows, and you headed for the staircase, ready to retreat to your room.
But before you could take the first step, a hand seized your wrist and yanked you back. The slap came next, sharp and sudden, leaving a sting that spread across your cheek like fire. Startled, your hand flew to your face, and your wide, disbelieving eyes met the furious glare of your stepmother.
“You skipped your painting lesson,” she hissed, face trembling with anger, “and came home late without even telling me.”
“And what for?” she spat. “To loiter with boys? To parade yourself in public, chatting in sign language for the entire neighbourhood to see? What else do you have left to ruin? Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is for the family?” Her voice grew louder, shriller, her hand resting on her hip as she glared at you like you were something she could barely tolerate.
You noticed your stepsisters standing just out of the line. Equal anger on their faces. It was clear—they had told her. Once, their expressions had the power to make you shrink, to make you doubt yourself. Now you felt nothing but disdain. Family, you thought bitterly, scoffing as you turned your head away.
Your stepmother’s hand shot out, grabbing your chin and jerking your face back toward hers. Her nails bit into your skin as she snarled, “Did you laugh? How dare you laugh at me?”
You shoved her hand away. “Don’t touch me,” you signed, your movements sharp, gaze unwavering. You didn’t care that she couldn’t understand. This was the only way you could speak, and you were tired of swallowing your voice.
Her face twisted with fury. “I said stop using sign language!” she barked.
You didn’t flinch. Instead, you signed again, your hands trembling. “I’m not alone anymore,” you told her, the tears burning at the edges of your vision. “You can be the queen of this house, control everything and everyone under this roof. But there’s a world outside these walls. And out there, I have friends. People who see me. People who care.”
“Talk! Talk like a proper person! I told you to talk!” The slap came hard and fast, snapping your head to the side. Your cheek burned with the impact, but this time, you didn’t freeze. You pushed her. Hard.
The room erupted with a collective gasp.
“Touch me again, and you’ll see your name in the newspaper.” Your glare shifted to Chae-won as she stepped forward, her mouth opening to speak, but you didn’t wait to hear what she had to say.
You bolted up the stairs, your heart hammering in your chest, panic fueling every frantic step.
The space felt thick as you threw yourself into your room, slamming the door shut behind you. You moved toward your desk, your hands shaking as you tore your bag open, yanking out a piece of paper. You didn’t have time to think, only enough to scrawl a desperate message, the words barely legible through the blur of your haste.
The door creaked open behind you. Panic surged. You turned, your pulse pounding as you spotted them—the maids stepping into the room. You bolted to the fax machine, shoving the paper in and frantically typing his number. You had to send it. You had to.
The machine whirred, halfway through sending, when two pairs of hands grabbed you, one on each arm. You thrashed and kicked, trying to wrench free, but their grip was too strong. Your stepmother appeared in the doorway, her smirk was cruel, triumphant, and your stomach churned with dread.
And then you saw it—the glint of metal in her hands. Locks.
"Get her upstairs. Now." Your breath caught in your throat. The room seemed to tilt as a memory surged forward, unbidden and suffocating. The attic. The last time she locked you up, you were fifteen. Your skin crawled at the thought of being trapped there again. You were dragged out, your feet sliding against the floor, your cries echoing down the empty hall. It took three of them—three people to overpower you, until the door loomed.
They shoved you inside, your body hitting the floor with a dull thud. You scrambled to your feet, lunging for the door, but it slammed shut in your face. You pounded on the door, fists aching, tears burning behind your eyes. It was harder for you to breathe.
This was her punishment—her way of crushing you every time you dared to fight back, dared to speak your truth.
She’d leave you here, in the dark, in the suffocating silence, until you broke. Until you admitted she was right. Or until your father’s nearing return forced her to let you out, pretending everything was fine.
You had tried to tell him before. Slipping notes into his pockets, scribbling messages when she wasn’t looking. But her eyes were always there, sharp and watchful, snatching away every chance you had. You can’t help but wonder—if you hadn’t stood up to her, if you hadn’t accepted that small, fleeting chance to feel alive, would you still be here right now? Or would you just be trapped in another kind of prison, shackled to the cycle your stepmother has forced you into?
Dust coated every surface, the faint light that seeped through the cracks wasn’t even enough to pierce the gloom to give you hope. You curled up against the wall, knees pulled to your chest, fingers trembling as they pressed against the cold floor. It was something that you had to endure before.
For years.
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Kai was running.
He didn’t care about the stares from strangers or the disapproving grunt as he ran the streets. He didn’t care about his mother’s worried gaze when he bolted out the door or the sting of his lungs from sprinting so fast. None of it mattered. All that mattered was getting to you.
The fax had come just minutes ago. He had been half-asleep when the machine whirred, spitting out a crumpled piece of paper with words that sent a shrill down his spine.
Kai, pick me up. Come get me, please. He knew it was you.
His heart pounded as he reached your gates, the mansion unwelcoming under the grey sky. He rang the door frantically, and when a maid opened the door, her polite greeting barely had time to escape her lips before Kai pushed past her.
“Sir, what are you doing?” she cried, alarmed. But Kai didn’t stop. He pushed through the grand double doors, his eyes scanning the room wildly. His gaze landed on a young woman, about his age—your stepsister, he realized with a flare of anger.
“Where’s Y/N?” he demanded, his voice booming through the space. The room fell silent. The maids froze, glancing at one another nervously, while your stepsister stiffened, her lips tightening into a scowl. “Where is she?” Kai shouted again, taking a step forward. A timid maid finally cracked, her wide eyes darting toward the stairs before quickly looking away. It was all he needed.
Kai took off, his legs carrying him up the staircase two steps at a time. As he neared the top, he heard it—a faint pounding, far but desperate. His blood ran cold as realization struck.
The attic.
Kai’s chest tightened as he reached the door. His fist slammed against the wood, the sound reverberating down the hall. The pounding on the other side grew more. His heart felt like it might tear itself apart.
“Open this door!” he says, spinning to face the maids who had followed him upstairs. “What the hell is wrong with you people? Do you want to go to prison for this? Do you want to be accomplices?” The maid who’d glanced upstairs earlier flinched, her hands shaking as she fumbled with a key.
Finally, the lock clicked, and he shoved the door open. His breath caught as he saw you huddled on the floor, your arms wrapped tightly around your knees, your face streaked with tears. “Y/N,” he breathed, rushing to you.
"You found me." You signed, eyes locking on his. He crouched, his arms wrapping around your trembling frame. He pulled you close, his hand smoothing over your hair as he held you against his chest.
“It’s okay,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m getting you out of this place.” His eyes darted around the attic, taking in the oppressive walls, scattered drawings—sketches you must’ve made. Some looks old, others newer. They had been locking you up here. Trapping you.
Kai stood, pulling you with him, “Come on,” his hand tightened around yours, and you nodded.
He led you down the stairs, his grip never faltering. At the bottom, your stepmother appeared, her expression twisting into one of fury the moment she saw him.
“Do you even realise what you’re doing right now?” she demanded, her voice sharp and grating. “This is kidnapping. Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in?”
Kai didn’t flinch. He didn’t hesitate. His voice was steady, cold, and razor-sharp. “Not as serious as imprisonment. Or abuse.”
Her lips curled into a mocking sneer. “I’m disciplining her,” she spat, as if the word justified everything.
Your stepmother’s eyes flicked to you as your hands moved, signing. “You’re hurting me.”
Her face darkened. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop signing?”
Kai froze, his mind reeling at her words. “What?” he said, voice low. His jaw tightened as he stared at her, fury building in his chest. “How do you expect her to communicate if she can’t speak?”
She sneered. “Return her inside while I’m still asking nicely,”
“No,” Kai snapped, he turned to her fully, standing tall and unyielding. “I’m not talking to you. Tell her father, when he finally gets home, to come find me personally if he wants to see his daughter again. And don’t even think about stopping me. My mother knows I’m here.”
Your stepmother opened her mouth to argue, but Kai didn’t give her the chance. He turned away, tugging you along behind him as he strode toward the door. His glare silenced any maids who dared step forward, daring anyone to challenge him.
“If you walk out that door,” your stepmother hissed, “you’ll regret it.”
Kai didn’t stop. He didn’t even look back.
The cool night air hit your skin as he pulled you through the gates and into the street. He didn’t care about her threats. He didn’t care about what came next. The only thing he knew was—he would regret it far more if he didn’t leave with you tonight.
When the two of you arrived at Kai’s home, his mother was already at the door, her face filled with concern. The moment she saw you, her eyes softened, but they couldn’t hide the shock and sadness she felt at your condition. “Oh, sweetheart,” she said gently, ushering you inside with open arms. “Let’s get you settled.”
She led you to a spare room, “This was Lea’s room,” she explained with a small smile. “Kai’s sister. She’s away at college now, so it’s all yours for as long as you need.”
Kai, stepped outside, pacing the front yard. His hands clenched and unclenched, breathing unevenly as he tried to calm himself. “How could they do that to her? As human beings?” he spits, in disbelief. “Even animals wouldn’t treat someone like that.”
His mother followed him out, gently placing a hand on his arm. “Kai, breathe,” she said softly. “She needs space to process everything right now.”
Kai shook his head, “What you did was good,” his mother continued. “Let her stay here for now. She’s safe with us.”
“And what happens when her father comes back?” Kai snapped, “What then? She just gets sent back to that place?”
His mother sighed, her grip on his arm steady. “Kai, it’s obvious he doesn’t know what’s been happening. Do you think any father would knowingly allow this?”
“That man, he lives in the same house as her. How does he not know? He’s either blind or he doesn’t care because all he does is make money and turn ignorant to everything else.”
His mother stepped closer, pulling him into a hug before he could spiral further. “It’s not your place to decide what kind of father he is, or if she should forgive him. That’s up to her. Right now, she needs rest.”
You sat curled up on the edge of the bed, knees pulled tightly to your chest, your back pressed into the corner. Your fingers picked at your nailbeds. Every breath you took felt shaky, like you were on the verge of falling apart.
It was the first time you’d ever stood up to them—to that whole oppressive house. The weight of it settled heavily on your chest, but more than that, you worried about Kai. About his family. Would they be okay with you here? What if they went after Kai or his family for taking you in? Would your presence bring trouble to their door? You felt like a curse, dragging misfortune wherever you went.
The sight of the door sliding open startled you. You looked up to see Kai’s mom stepping in, her form soft in the dim light. She carried a stack of clothes in her hands, a small smile on her face.
“Hiyyih’s already asleep, so I had to grab these for you,” she said, setting it down in front of you. “These are Lea’s—Kai’s sister. I’m not sure if you’ll like them, but I thought these might fit you.”
You nodded silently, your heart pounding as you glanced at her. You could not shake the fear that she might say you’d put Kai in danger, that bringing you here was a mistake. Or how much trouble you might’ve caused him. The guilt plague, making your stomach turn.
She didn’t say anything at first, just sat there, her gaze soft and thoughtful. Then her smile widened, and her eyes crinkled at the corners like Kai does. “Gosh, you’re so pretty,” she said, as if she was stating the most obvious fact in the world. “Look at your eyes—they’re so clear, so bright.” Her words made your breath hitch.
“Not being able to talk must be so hard,” she continued, face replaced with sadness. “You must’ve felt so upset. So frustrated.” She moved closer, her hands reaching for yours. Her touch was warm, and something about it made the tears in your eyes sting even more.
“But you did such a good job, honey,” she said, her voice breaking slightly. “Growing up into such a beautiful, strong young lady.” Her thumb gently brushed the back of your hand, and she smiled again, “I’m proud of you.”
Her words shattered something inside you, breaking through the walls you’d tried so hard to keep up. You bit down on your lip, but it was no use. The tears slipped free, rolling down your cheeks.
“If anyone ever hurts you again, if anyone tries to trap you, you come here,” she said firmly, her tone shifting to one of conviction. “Don’t ever put up with it. Just come back here. Or stay here and live with me." She grinned at the thought, expression animated, like it was the simplest solution in the world.
You couldn’t hold it back anymore. You cried, your shoulders trembling as the sobs punished your body. All the days you had endured in silence. The days they made you feel invisible, like you didn’t matter. The way they looked at you, spoke about you, treated you, as though you were something other, something different. Not belonging. Not normal.
"Don't cry," She pulled you into her arms, holding you tightly as she rubbed your back in soothing circles. You were starting to see it wasn’t true. Starting to believe. And her embrace is so… familiar. It was like holding onto a memory you’d been too afraid to revisit—the one you’d clung to as a lifeline but had started to fade, little by little.
It felt like you were eight again, back in time—cradled in your mother’s warm arms.
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Kai stood at your door, it's been an hour when he saw his mother leaving, her eyes red from crying. She had tried to reassure him to give you space, to let you be alone tonight—but Kai's heart couldn’t rest. He knocked softly before slipping inside.
You were facing away from him, the sheets pulled up high against your body. He walked over, unsure of what to expect, and tapped a single finger on your shoulder to check if you were awake. You shifted and glanced back at him, your face still soft with the remnants of tears.
He offered a small smile, his hands signing softly, “Hi.”
You didn’t respond with words instead, you scooted over, making room for him on the bed. He slid in beside you, leaving just enough space between you both. “Are you okay?” he signed, his face filled with concern.
“Yes,” you replied quietly, your fingers moving slowly, tracing the air. “Because you always come whenever I need someone.”
His heart skipped a beat. “Anything for you,” he whispered, gaze never left yours. "I'll do anything for you,"
His fingers slowly lifted to cradle your face, his thumb brushing gently across your cheek. Your eyes fluttered closed at the touch, and Kai could feel your breath hitch. You shifted closer to him, pressing your head to his chest, seeking his intoxicating smell.
He tucked you in carefully, his arm lying beneath your head as his head rested gently on top of yours. His touch was warm and soothing as his hand trailed down your back, the warmth from his skin seeping through the fabric of your clothes. You closed your eyes, feeling the calm settle in your chest, until a small movement in his chest caught your attention.
You pulled back slightly, confusion in your eyes. His face was soft, but his eyes shimmered with tears that hadn't yet fallen. His lips parted, searching for the right words. “How did you put up with all of that?” he whispered, a tear slipping down his right cheek. His chest seemed to tighten with the weight of the question. “What they did to you, it was the worst. I— should've found you sooner. I promise… you will not be alone anymore, okay?”
You nod, tearing up at his words. It was the first time someone made a promise to you that you knew he wouldn't break. A small smile found its way to your lips. His hands moved, fingers gently pressed against your palm as he spelled out.
"You're safe now,"
You wake up slowly, your eyes squinting as they adjust to the soft morning light spilling into the room.
Kai's arms are still wrapped around your waist, his body pressed against yours, his face nestled against your chest. You gently trace the lines of his face with your fingers, captivated by the details you never want to forget—the way his freckles and moles give his features a softness, an angelic quality. He's so beautiful. The light in a world that once felt so dark. In a life that’s often felt like a nightmare, he’s the one thing that pulled you into the almost impossible daylight.
You lean in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. He murmurs in his sleep but doesn’t stir. You smile softly at his innocence, feeling your heart flutter. You try to untangle your legs from his, hesitant to leave the safety of his embrace, but you slowly make your way out of the bed.
As you step into the living room, the smell of breakfast makes your stomach rumble. You find Kai’s mom and Hiyyih already in the kitchen. The latter smiles warmly at you. “Good morning,” she greets, and you return the smile.
Breakfast is simple but comforting. The food amazing, your appetite comes back little by little with every bite.
When you’re finished, Hiyyih looks at you with a bright smile. “Want to help me with the lunch boxes?” she asks, and you nod eagerly. She helps you slip on an apron, her fingers fumbling with the straps as she giggles. It's contagious, and makes you smile.
She pulls her hair back into a ponytail, a few strands fall loose, and you reach for your notepad. You quickly scribble, Let me braid your hair?
Hiyyih’s eyes widen with delight, and she nods. You gather her hair gently, carefully weaving the strands together. A soft smile spread across her face at the comforting touch of your hands.
Kai stretched his arm to your side, but the space was empty.
His eyes snapped open, sleep quickly fading as he registered the absence of your presence. He sat up abruptly, fumbling to slide his feet into his house slippers, the soft padding of his steps barely audible as he hurried out of the room.
Where could you have gone? Has someone come to take you home? His thoughts raced, each one more frantic than the last. He barely noticed the cold air of the hallway as he hurried toward the kitchen—then he stopped, heart halting in his chest.
There you were.
The tension melted away as he took in the scene. You stood at the counter, laughter spilling from your lips as you helped Hiyyih pack three lunch boxes. The soft fabric of an apron hugged your frame, and his mother moved gracefully beside you, pouring cups of steaming chocolate milk, a soft smile gracing her lips as she watched the two of you.
Your eyes found his, and the world seemed to slow. A smile softened your features as you raised a hand, signing a simple "Hi," and motioning for him to come closer.
"Good morning," Kai murmured. His heart swelled at the scene before him—three women who meant the world to him. "Morning, Mom."
The two watched as Kai closed the small distance between you and him. He softly placed his hands on your shoulders, the touch gentle. Then, he leaned down, pressing a light, quick kiss to the top of your head. His small act makes you blush.
"Good morning, Son," his mother interrupts warmly, passing him a plate of pancakes and sausages. "Y/N and Hiyyih have already eaten. Here’s your breakfast."
Kai took his seat, the clatter of cutlery mingling with the soft sounds of your and Hiyyih’s giggles. His mother, ever attentive, placed a notepad on the counter, making sure nothing was lost in translation as she communicated with you.
If you truly want to express something, you’ll find a way. And if you want to say even more, you’ll learn, until your heart speaks louder than words ever could.
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It was the first time you were in a car, heading to school, and there was a grin you couldn’t wipe from your face.
Everything felt lighter today—the warmth of Hiyyih’s arm gently looping around yours, and every now and then, Kai’s glance in the rearview mirror caught yours.
Last night seemed to burn away, slipping from your mind like smoke on the breeze. The car pulled up, and you all said your goodbyes to Kai’s mom, her lips warm against your cheek as she kissed you. “What food would you like later?” Her question made you pull her into a tight hug, surprising her with the warmth you hadn’t known you had in you. It's true, that if you surround yourself with better people, you'll be better too.
It felt like everyone in school was watching, but you didn’t mind. Kai’s hand in yours felt so right, and Hiyyih was chatting away beside you, making everything feel like a dream. When the time came for Hiyyih to part ways, she also kissed your cheek with a smile, waving goodbye.
Kai’s eyes were on you, a smirk tugging at his lips as you laughed softly. He loved seeing you so light, so happy. When he walked you to your class, you bumped into Taehyun, who ruffled your hair with a grin and a gentle pat on the head. You felt like he already knew, given that his stare much more concerned than it ever was.
Is this what it feels like to be part of something? What a family is supposed to feel like?
You washed your hands in the sink, the corners of your lips still tugged into a faint smile. But the moment was cut short when a splash of cold water hit you, soaking your uniform. You gasped, the fabric clinging uncomfortably to your skin. You only know two people who find joy in these acts. Turning quickly, you saw Chae-won and Yun-jin standing there, flanked by three other girls whose names you didn’t even know but who were always with them.
“Are you done living your life like a victim?” Chae-won’s voice rang out, sharp and biting. A few other students in the bathroom froze, unsure of what to do, before slipping out the door, desperate to avoid being caught in the middle.
“Go home,” she spat, her glare searing. “I’m not letting my mother deal with trash like you.”
Your chest tightened, but you refused to show it. You held her gaze for a beat longer than you thought you could, then turned to leave. The quicker you got out of their sight, the better. You don't want to waste your energy on dealing with her. But before you could make it to the door, two of them grabbed your arms roughly and shoved you back.
“Go home now,” one of them hissed. “Or I’ll make sure everyone knows just how pathetic you really are.”
Something inside you snapped. The words stung, but your hand moved faster than your thoughts. The slap echoed in the tiled bathroom. Chae-won’s face twisted in shock before anger overtook her features. She lunged, pushing you into a cubicle. Her hands tangled in your hair as you tried to fight back, her nails digging into your arm as you struggled to block her strikes.
They always kept it hidden, their cruelty tucked away in the shadows—behind the closed doors of your home, in the quiet corners of the art room, places where no one else would see. Never here. Never out in the open like this. These were the same people you once looked at with longing, the ones you dreamed would someday call you their friend.
Tears blurred your vision as you struggled to catch your breath. The sharp ache in your scalp subsided when Chae-won was suddenly yanked off you, her grip torn away by a rough hand.
Hiyyih. Your eyes widened as you saw her, fierce and blazing with anger. “Get the fuck away from my sister, bitch!” she screamed, face cracking with rage. Before Chae-won could recover, Hiyyih kicked her hard on her thigh, her fury igniting as she saw the blood smeared across your arms.
Another girl was with her, someone you vaguely recognized, stepping in to help. Suddenly, it was three against five, chaos erupting in the cramped bathroom.
Hiyyih glared daggers at Yun-jin, voice trembling with raw emotion. “You think you can just hurt people? You think you’re strong because you can?”
The bathroom erupted into noise—shouting, scuffling, and the sound of feet scrambling for safety. Students crowded at the doorway, peeking in with wide eyes, while others bolted to find a teacher. You stayed close to Hiyyih, your chest tight with fear. What if they hurt her the way they hurt you?
You felt yourself shoved against the counter in the commotion, your pulse pounding in your ears. And then, cutting through the chaos, you saw them. Three figures pushed their way through the crowd, pushing onlookers, unconcerned that this was a girls’ bathroom.
Kai. Beomgyu. Taehyun.
Everything seemed to blur as Kai desperately reached you, pulling you close against his chest. His arms wrapped around you, steady and protective, shielding you from anyone.
“Enough!” Beomgyu shouts. “This ridiculous cat fight ends now.”
Kai’s hands cupped your face, his touch trembling as he scanned your cuts and bruises. His jaw tightened, his eyes dark with anger and fear. His eyes check his sister, now standing between Beomgyu and Taehyun. He exhaled sharply, pulling you behind him, his body a wall between you and the rest of the room.
“Stop this,” he said coldly, his words directed at Chae-won, who was fixing her hair with a smug expression. "This is your last warning—stay away from her.”
Chae-won sneered, venom dripping from her voice. “Why do you keep protecting that… thing?” she spat. “She’s abnormal. She can’t hear. She made us miserable. She’s selfish, always making everything about her. She plays the victim like it’s a sport.”
Her words made Hiyyih surged forward, ready to strike, but Taehyun held her back with a firm grip.
“Are you fucking serious right now?” Chae-won blinked, startled by the harshness in Kai's tone—a tone so unlike the boy known for his warmth and kindness. “She’s the best person to ever walk these grounds,” Kai adds, eyes locked on Chae-won. “She’s everything you’ll never be.”
You tried to step out from behind him, to meet Chae-won’s glare head-on, but Kai’s arm gently stopped you, keeping you behind him, his body a wall between you and her cruelty.
“If anyone here isn’t normal, it’s you. Never her.”
For the first time, Chae-won’s smirk faltered, her confidence visibly shaken. Her eyes dart between Hiyyih, Beomgyu and Taehyun. They all look at her in disdain.
Her mind raced, her thoughts spiralling back to the words her mother had drilled into her—how you were less, how people would never care about you. But now—these people—they were standing with you, like they would shield you from anything that came your way. It made her gulp. She bolts outside, Yun-jin was hot on her heels, matching her pace. The other girls had already disappeared.
For the first time, she was afraid—of the consequences that might happen if she ever dared to hurt you again.
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“You don’t have to forgive them, you know?” Kai says, his shoulder brushes against yours, as you both sit, legs dangling off the edge of the makeshift bench in the yard. The watermelon ice cream in your hand drips slightly, the heat of the sun melting it. His sister and mother are out of the house, shopping for tonight's supper.
“It’s okay to take your time,” he adds, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. “Or never forgive them at all. You can stay here with us for as long as you want. There’s no rush to figure everything out.”
You shift your feet, wiggling your toes against the warm wood beneath you. Both of you are still in the loose, comfortable clothes you threw on after rolling out of bed. No shoes, no plans—It’s a Saturday—your first weekend here.
You look at him, and the light catches his face. A small smile tugs at your lips as you sign, “You know, I’ve never given you a proper nickname.”
Kai pauses mid-bite, blinking at you in surprise at your random words. “Huh?” he mumbles around the end of his ice cream. “What do you mean?”
You let out a soft laugh, your hands moving fluidly as you explain, “Since calling out your name in sign language takes a little more effort, it’s better to give you a nickname. Something simple but special, something that means ‘you.’”
Kai’s heart stutters in his chest. How was it possible that every time he saw you sign, it felt like the first time all over again? "Wha- what would you call me?"
You smile, a little shy. You’d thought of this nickname days ago, waiting for the right moment to share it. “Diamond,” you sign, your hands forming the shape—your thumb and index finger meet to form the letter D, before tracing an elegant upward motion, like a sparkle.
Kai’s breath catches. His chest feels tight, like his heart is swelling too big for the space it’s in. Diamond. The way you did it, the way it looked—it felt intimate. "It’s beautiful."
You smile softly at him, and his entire world shifts. “I can’t hear your voice, but I see it. You shine the brightest when you’re making music. That’s when you look the coolest, like you’re untouchable… like a diamond. But even then, I don’t feel left out when I’m with you. I never felt I don't belong when I'm with you.” Your hands falter slightly, your eyes glassy with unshed tears.
Kai watches every movement, every micro-emotion on your face. He understands every word.
He’s in love with you. Completely, helplessly.
He doesn’t need to be the doctor to diagnose his own symptoms, a teacher to put his feelings into words, or to be the scientist to prove his theory. None of those roles matters because—these things will never speak as loud as his heart. He loves you. And with every moment he spends knowing you, he finds himself falling even deeper.
And now, he can give you his music—something he once thought was beyond him. Loving you has been the easiest thing he’s ever done.
Kai's desperate need consumes him as he grabs your face, his heart racing with aching desire to kiss you. His lips crash onto yours, devouring the sweetness of your watermelon-flavoured mouth. You moan, a little sound that only fuels his need as he leans back. "You're so beautiful. I need you, please." He pulls you closer and kisses you again once you nod, unable to resist his sweet kisses. He breaks away and takes your hand, leading you. Like he always does.
You let him pull you into his room, the scent of him wrapping around you like a quiet embrace. The space feels personal—lived-in. It feels like... him.
Before you can say a word, his arms encircle you from behind, holding you close as his lips brush softly against the side of your head. His hands move slowly, sliding from your waist to your stomach. With a gentle tug, he lifts your shirt just enough to reveal the bare skin beneath. His touch is tender as his fingers graze over you, tracing delicate patterns, and caressing. Kai turns you around.
Kai's mind swirls with uncertainty. He stares into your eyes, and he signs the words that he has been holding back. "I love you." You respond by pulling him close, kissing him fiercely and tangling your fingers in his hair. Your mind is consumed by his confession, and his touches.
He pushes you onto the bed, flooding your senses with his smell. You wrap your legs around him instinctively, surprised at yourself for doing something naturally you haven't done. You're craving his touch.
"I need you," His voice is low, repeating the words. He wants to know. He wants to make sure that you're alright with this. You give a slight nod, granting him permission. He eagerly accepts, his lips crashing against yours in a frenzy of need. His hands roam your body, leaving trails of fire as he hungrily kisses down your neck. He goes down, he bites down on the fabric covering your nipples, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from you.
He gingerly lifted your shirt over your head, revealing your flushed skin. He took one of your hardened nipples into his mouth and gently sucked, watching closely as your face contorted in pleasure and your eyes fluttered shut.
He slides his hand under your silk pyjama top and gently traces the curve of your back with his fingers. He settles himself beside you, leaning as he reaches your waistband. His long fingers slip inside and finds you already wet, he spreads your lips apart and expertly flicks his finger over your clit. He adds another finger and watches your face for any signs of discomfort, peppering kisses along your cheeks as you shake your head in pleasure. Slowly, he inserts them deeper, making you grip his shoulders tightly as he stretches you.
He rolls his knuckles over your sensitive clit. With a swift movement, his hand opens like scissors, his thumb teasing your swollen nub. You let out a gasp and clutch onto his now longer hair, pulling him closer as he continues to pleasure you with his skilled fingers. Your mouths meet in a passionate kiss, his hot tongue brushing yours as he works his fingers in and out of you.
As he pulls out, you can feel his gaze on you, his eyes tracing every inch of your body. Every part of your body is beautiful.
You try to reach for his pants, but he shakes his head with a small smile. "This is all about you." He whispers, and places a kiss on your lips.
He slides into you, causing tears to escape from the corners of your eyes as you feel yourself being stretched and filled. He's so big, hot inside you. "Baby, I got you," He leans in close, his warm breath mingling with yours as he gently wipes away your tears.
Kai searches your eyes and waits for you to signal him to move again, you hummed nodding your head. He presses deeper, and the sensation makes your whole body tingle. With each thrust, he presses you further into the mattress, leaving hot kisses along your skin as his other hand finds its way back to your clit.
His lips found your ears, and he left traces of kisses. The overwhelming pleasure builds and builds until finally, you can't hold back any longer and release with a shudder. But he doesn't stop there; he continues to move inside of you groaning, pulling out before his release, he fists his erection and hot white cum comes undone on his hands. He leans down to give you a quick kiss on your forehead, smirking at your fucked out face.
Kai's touch was careful as he ran the cloth over your skin, wiping away, and cleaning you up. He worked slowly, keeping one of his hands holding your own.
When he was done, he looked up at you with that same soft smile. You feel your lips curve in response, reaching out to touch his flushed cheeks, your fingers brushing against his warm skin. The simple touch makes his smile widen into a boyish grin. You see his mouth open, saying "I love you." The same words he kept repeating over and over again even without you knowing it.
It feels unreal, like a fragile dream stitched together by your desperate mind to escape the torment of your reality. Kai doesn’t seem real—a fleeting fever dream you’re terrified will vanish the moment you wake. Your hands move almost on their own, signing the words your heart refuses to deny. "I love you too."
A floor table is set up in the yard, resting on a wide blanket with soft cushions scattered around it. Plates of food and side dishes fill the table, the space alive with chatter and laughter.
Kai sits beside you, his knee brushing yours beneath the table his hands caressing your back when no one's looking, Hiyyih is in the center, her laughter bright and infectious, while Taehyun and Beomgyu are across from you, locked in their usual back-and-forth.
Or rather, Beomgyu trying to bait Taehyun into bickering, and Taehyun rolling his eyes with amused restraint.
The sliding door opens, and Kai’s mom steps out, balancing a steaming pot in her hands. “Here comes the ramen!” she sings. The broth makes you realise just how hungry you are.
She begins ladling out bowls, and the clinking of utensils signals the start of the meal. As the first bite warms your throat, the cold night seems to retreat, replaced by the simple joy of being here, with them.
You reach out toward the dessert—ripe, glossy strawberries—but your hand freezes as you see Beomgyu grab the last one. He pauses mid-bite when he catches the longing look in your eyes. “Oh,” he says, a smirk tugging at his lips. Slowly, he pulls the fruit away from his mouth, holding it out to you with his chopsticks. “Because I’m a good guy, I’ll let you have it.”
Before you can protest, Kai reaches over with his own chopsticks and snatches the strawberry back. He shoves it into Beomgyu’s mouth, earning a muffled yelp. “You can keep it,” Kai says flatly, shooting a half-hearted glare at his friend.
Taehyun bursts out laughing, pointing at Beomgyu’s shocked expression. “He’s jealous,” he teases, his grin wide.
“I am not,” Kai snaps, cheeks betraying by giving a soft pink hue. “I just don’t want his germs spreading to Y/N.”
Beomgyu, finally swallowing the strawberry, points a dramatic finger at Kai. “You little shi—”
You laugh as Beomgyu leaps to his feet, determined to catch Kai, who’s darting away with that grin that melts your heart every time. Kai—the one who didn’t just save you from your own darkness, but who opened up his world and invited you in, piece by piece.
You sigh, not out of sadness, but happiness—a feeling slowly becoming familiar. It doesn’t feel impossible anymore.
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You avoid your father’s gaze, his concerned eyes scanning you with a frown etched deep into his forehead. You shift, positioning yourself behind Kai’s broad back. You can still see your father, but having Kai in front of you makes it all feel bearable—almost safe.
Your father arrived first thing in the morning, dressed sharply in his suit, as though he hadn’t wasted a second to come get you ever since he came back.
He explained everything in a rush—what he’d done back at the house. Your stepmother was gone, and she’d taken your stepsisters with her. Without a marriage binding them, he ended it quickly, as swiftly as he’d once welcomed her into your home, believing she could be a solution, a saviour for you.
The maids who had turned a blind eye or worse—enabled the abuse—were fired on the spot. And now, he was determined to make things right—determined to press charges, to hold accountable anyone who had ever hurt you. His voice cracked when he spoke of it, the guilt etched deep into his expression.
"Would you mind if I speak for a moment?" Kai asks stance proud, and unwavering. Your father looked at him, taking in the way he stood in front of you, protective. It reminded him of the days when he had stood like that for your mother—the only woman he had truly loved.
“My mom doesn’t know any sign language,” Kai begins, “But she still talks to Y/N all the time. They understand each other perfectly.” He pauses, letting the words settle.
“That’s when I realized something,” Kai continues, his gaze unwavering. “You can say anything—anything at all—if it comes from a willing heart.” He pulls out a book. It’s a little worn around the edges, its cover creased from being used so often. It’s the same sign language book he’s been studying with you, the one he’s cherished so much.
He holds it out to your father, “I thought this might help. It’s a good place to start, so you can reach her too.” Your father takes it, his fingers brushing against the cover. His lips part, voice thick with emotion, “Thank you, Kai.” He extends his hand, and Kai shakes it firmly, a quiet understanding passing between them.
Then Kai turns to you, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. His mom and Hiyyih wrap you in tight hugs, their warmth lingering long after they let go. You haven’t even stepped outside the gate yet, but they’re already asking when you’ll come back.
You smile, trying to give them an answer, but the truth catches in your throat. The truth is, you don’t know if you can live your life without them anymore.
The trip back to your house was quiet.
You opened the doors, but no one was inside. No one inside, yet it felt more… welcoming than it ever had. You walk into your room, and are about to reach to close your bedrooms behind you. But before it shuts, your father steps inside.
“I’m sorry,” he starts, “For everything.” All you can do is nod silently, feeling the sting of tears welling in your eyes. You’ve thought about this moment a thousand times—how you would say everything you’ve kept inside, how you’d finally tell him that his silence and distance hurt more than the physical abuse they gave.
You wanted him to know what his absence caused, how it made everything worse. You wanted to shout, to let him feel the anger you’ve carried for so long. But as you hear his apology, you find yourself lacking the heart to do so. Because this moment—it’s the one you’ve been waiting for your entire whole life. For him to finally come back to you.
He takes a hesitant step closer, his hands trembling as they reach up to cup your face. His eyes that screams nothing but regret. “You’re the only one left who matters to me,” he says, “I’m so sorry I didn’t see it sooner. I promise—I’ll make it up to you. Somehow, I’ll make it right.” Before you know it, he pulls you into his arms, holding you as if he’s afraid to let go.
The two of you cry, clinging to each other in the quiet of the house. No other words are spoken. The walls that once held the echoes of your pain now bear witness to something… starting to heal.
The horrors of the past don’t, won't disappear, but they begin to blur, fading as you melt inside your father's arms. You close your eyes as you cry—broken sobs, like a child needing comfort after a big bad nightmare, tasting the salt of your own tears as they fall.
It tastes like forgiveness.
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"Do you want to come with me on my next business trip?" your father signs, his hands moving carefully beside you in the car. "New York."
You smile at his effort, the clumsy yet intentional movements making him seem more approachable—so different from the figure you once knew.
"I'd love that, dad." His face lights up with your response, a genuine smile spreading across his lips. He looks relieved, maybe even proud, that he's able to communicate with you more clearly now. Your gaze drifts to the newspaper folded in his lap, the bold numbers marking the year—1996.
The car slows to a stop, signalling that you've arrived. Your father leans over, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. "See you daughter,"
You wave goodbye, stepping out onto the pavement, watching as the car pulls away. You clutch your shoulder bag, a soft smile playing on your lips—one that seems to have taken permanent residence these past few months. Your steps are light, your eyes brighter, and your heart hums a melody only you can hear.
Community for the Gifted: Advanced Sign Language
The words on the board seem almost dreamlike. A reminder that you're here. Everything that happened wasn't just a dream.
Before you can dwell on it, your bag is gently lifted from your hands. You turn, meeting his eyes—warm, full of affection. He dips his head, pressing a sweet, fleeting kiss to your lips, followed by another on your nose, and your brows.
"Hi, pretty girl," He says softly, shifting your bag to his other hand. He reaches for your free hand, fingers intertwining with yours. He squeezes it three times.
I love you.
Together, you step through the doors, hand in hand with the boy who loves you in ways you didn’t think anyone ever could. The boy who simply found you in your silent world. It amazes you—how one person can make life feel so undeniably worth living.
Huening Kai, who learned to speak your language, so you won't have to spend your lifetime translating your soul.
THE END.
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taglist: i love you @beombunni @hyukascampfire @yunverie @gyu-tori @bamgyuuuri @saejinniestar @xylatox @lovingbeomgyudayone @virtaideen @hyunelixbun @brrytears @fancypeacepersona @tyunningstar @kejingken @usuallyunlikelyfox @ode2soob @beomieeeeeeeeeeees @lilbrorufr @vicurious28
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narxcisse · 2 months ago
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★ — General yandere Viktor headcanons
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Yandere!Viktor x GN!Reader
CW: Obsession and yandere behaviors, surveillance and control, manipulation, forced proximity, Vik pretends to depend on you occasionally, isolation(?), takes place in s1
English isn't my native language
Viktor’s analytical nature extends to his obsession. Once he’s fixated on someone, they become the center of his world, overshadowing even his work.
He memorizes every detail about you—your habits, preferences, quirks, and routines. This knowledge is meticulously stored and analyzed to "understand" you better.
Rationalizes his possessiveness as care. He believes he’s the only one who can protect you, especially from the chaos of Zaun and Piltover.
He subtly manipulates circumstances to keep you away from others, framing it as concern for your safety.
Any perceived threat to you triggers his protective instincts. He can be dangerously calculating when dealing with rivals or anyone who might harm you.
He uses his Hextech knowledge to develop devices that monitor or safeguard you—tracking bracelets, automated sentinels, or surveillance systems disguised as gifts.
Viktor uses his calm demeanor to guilt-trip you into compliance. He’ll lament how much he sacrifices for you, subtly steering your choices.
He’ll portray himself as overworked or burdened, implying that your support and closeness are the only things keeping him going.
Viktor impresses you with his intelligence, subtly reinforcing the idea that he’s irreplaceable.
He ensures you rely on him emotionally or practically, making it difficult for you to leave.
He might push himself to the point of exhaustion and subtly blame you for not being there to stop him, saying things like, "If I had you by my side, perhaps I wouldn't push myself this far."
If you ever try to distance yourself, he may consider using his technology to "fix" you, claiming it’s for your benefit.
Viktor’s obsession is methodical. He won’t lash out irrationally but will quietly remove obstacles or manipulate situations to keep you close.
Around you, Viktor shows a softer side that no one else sees (Maybe Jayce sees it sometimes too), making it hard to view him as a threat.
Viktor may mark his territory with small, easily overlooked gestures—insisting you wear a scarf he gave you or leaving his inventions in your home.
Don't underestimate his cane, if you try to run away, he will easily knock you out with it.
If pushed too far, Viktor can become dangerously unhinged. In rare moments of desperation, his calm facade may crack, revealing just how far he’ll go to keep you.
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It starts innocently enough—or so it seems. Viktor’s health has been deteriorating more visibly over the past few days. You notice the way he winces when he moves, the increasing reliance on his cane, the exhaustion written across his face.
He brushes off your concern at first, but one night, you find him sitting in his chair, his head resting heavily in his hand, looking utterly defeated.
"I thought I could endure this alone," he says quietly, his voice hoarse with fatigue. "But... I fear I cannot."
You freeze. Viktor has always been stoic, resilient, unwilling to admit weakness. To see him like this sends a pang through your chest.
"I didn’t want to burden you," he continues, his amber eyes meeting yours, glassy with an emotion you can’t quite place. "But it’s becoming harder... to keep going without someone to rely on. Without you."
He doesn’t explicitly ask for anything, but his words hang heavy in the air. You feel his unspoken plea.
"Perhaps it’s selfish," he murmurs, leaning back in his chair as if the weight of the world rests on his shoulders. "But... your presence eases the pain. When you’re near, I feel... stronger."
The way he looks at you—so "vulnerable", so "dependent"—makes it impossible to say no.
"Stay tonight," he says after a pause, his voice almost a whisper. "Just for a while. I need to know you're here."
You hesitate, but his hand reaches out, brushing yours lightly. His touch is cold but steady, grounding in a way that feels both comforting and suffocating.
"Please," he adds softly, his gaze dropping to the floor. "I... don’t want to be alone tonight."
Against your better judgment, you agree. He guides you to sit beside him, his arm brushing against yours. For a while, it’s quiet. Then, almost tentatively, he leans closer, his head resting against your shoulder.
---
After some time, he shifts, feigning discomfort. "Forgive me," he murmurs, his voice strained. "The pain... it’s worse tonight. Would you... hold me? Just for a moment?"
You blink in surprise, but before you can respond, he adds, "I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t unbearable. I just... need to feel that someone cares."
You reluctantly oblige, wrapping your arms around him. He lets out a soft sigh, almost as if in relief, and his own arms tentatively encircle you.
"Thank you," he whispers, his voice tinged with satisfaction. "You have no idea what this means to me."
Even as you sit there, his hold tightens subtly, possessively, as if he’s afraid you’ll slip away.
As the night wears on, you start to feel a creeping realization that this might not have been as innocent as it seemed. Viktor, however, seems content, his gaze soft but calculating as he holds you close.
"Perhaps... you could stay again tomorrow?" he murmurs, the faintest smile playing on his lips. "For my recovery, of course."
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etheraltides · 3 months ago
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Of Tears and Triumphs
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Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader
Summarize: A quiet morning at the Cameron estate becomes a turning point as the reader grapples with anxiety and a relapse in her eating disorder journey . Rafe, noticing the distress, offers comfort and support, reminding her that nothing is ever lost.
Warning(s): Eating disorders (compulsive eating), body dysmorphia, anxiety, emotional distress (shame, guilt), mental health struggles (depression, self-image issues), substance abuse (reference to past drug use).
A/N: To anyone reading this who is struggling right now, I want you to know that you are not alone. It's okay to feel lost, to feel overwhelmed, and to not have everything figured out. Healing is a journey, and it doesn’t happen overnight. Be kind to yourself, even when it feels impossible. You are so much more than your struggles.
Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. There are people – therapists, counselors, loved ones – who can support you through this. You don't have to face it alone, and you deserve to find the peace and healing that’s waiting for you. Please, take the first step towards getting the help you deserve. You are worth it. 💙
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The sun had just begun to creep over the horizon, casting a gentle, golden glow over the Cameron estate. Everything was deceptively perfect: the ocean's rhythmic crashing in the distance, the birds that chirped from the tree canopies, and the soft rustle of leaves carried by the morning breeze. Yet beneath this serene surface, a storm brewed in your chest.
You sat on the edge of the bed, legs folded underneath you, the light duvet twisted in your restless fingers. Rafe's side of the bed was empty, the indentation of his head still fresh on the pillow. He'd gone out for an early surf with Kelce and Topper, leaving you alone with your thoughts – a dangerous place to be.
The room felt stifling, the silence pressing into your ears like cotton. You glanced at the old Polaroid on the nightstand. In it, you and Rafe were beaming, arms slung around each other at some summer bonfire weeks before. Your hair was wild from the salt water, and his grin was as reckless as ever. It was weeks after your steady recover, before you tripped and the weight of guilt and shame began pressing down on you like lead.
Yesterday had started normally. You’d woken up with the soft glow of the sun filtering through the curtains, feeling almost optimistic. It wasn’t until you scrolled through Instagram that the first thread of anxiety wove itself around your chest. A picture from a girl you used to know, toned and confident in her bikini, had appeared at the top of your feed. The caption read “Hard work pays off.”
Your thumb froze mid-scroll, your heartbeat pounding in your ears. Memories of skipped meals and endless calculations surfaced like unwelcome ghosts. A voice in your head, sharp and familiar, whispered, Why can’t you be like that?
The feeling followed you through the day, clinging like a second skin as your whole algorithmic seemed to sense your mind and show you all the gorgeous and thin girls in your feed. By the time afternoon came, the anxiety had grown into a suffocating mass that sat heavy in your chest. You paced the kitchen, each footstep echoing in your head. The silence was unbearable, the ticking of the clock like a countdown to something inevitable. You knew you weren’t going to settle down or forget until you did it.
The pantry door creaked as you opened it. Your fingers hovered over the neatly stacked items, trembling. Just a little, you told yourself, reaching for a handful of crackers. Just a few so I can cover this awful feeling – some good, old food comfort. But one taste turned into two, and soon, control slipped through your grasp like sand.
You moved on autopilot, the familiar numbness settling in as you grabbed chocolate bars, chips, anything you could find. Each bite was frantic, fueled by desperation and self-loathing. The last spoonful of ice cream melted on your tongue, its sweetness turning bitter as regret surged up, hot and suffocating.
When you came to, the evidence surrounded you: wrappers crumpled like discarded dreams, smudges of chocolate on your hands, the tub of ice cream half-melted on the counter. The kitchen, once a place of comfort, had become a cage, and you were the only prisoner.
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, and you sank to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest. The weight of shame pressed down, crushing and relentless.
This morning, the mirror was your jury, and it was merciless. You tugged at your shirt, the fabric clinging to your skin as if conspiring against you. Your eyes, usually bright with laughter, were rimmed with red, dull and haunted. The internal monologue was relentless:
You’re weak. You’ve ruined everything. How could you let it happen again?
The silence in the house was shattered by the sound of the front door opening and closing. Rafe's voice echoed through the hallway, carefree and light. “Babe? You here?”
You didn’t respond, the shame was too raw, too close. You pulled your knees tighter to your chest, staring blankly at the mirror as if it would offer some kind of reprieve.
Footsteps approached and then paused at the threshold. The room was drenched in the soft, fading sunlight, but it did nothing to lift the heavy atmosphere.
“Hey.” Rafe’s voice softened when he saw you, the smile fading from his lips. Concern clouded his eyes as he took in your hunched form, your tear-streaked cheeks. He set down his phone without a word, crossing the room in three long strides.
“What happened?” he asked, voice low and gentle. He knelt beside you, resting a warm hand on your knee. The weight of his gaze was heavy but not suffocating, it was grounding.
“I messed up.” You whispered, voice breaking. “I messed up so bad.”
Rafe’s brows knitted, and he took a breath, steady and patient. “Talk to me, baby.” he coaxed. When you didn’t reply, he shifted to sit beside you on the floor, pulling you closer.
“I ate. I ate everything yesterday. I couldn’t stop.” you admitted, the words spilling out in a rush. Your voice trembled with the weight of confession. “And now I can’t stand to look at myself or… or to look at food again.”
His jaw clenched, not out of anger but out of a protective frustration. “Hey, hey” he whispered, turning to face you fully. His hands found yours, fingers weaving together with tender insistence. “Listen to me. You are not defined by one moment, alright? Not by yesterday, not by what happened.”
Tears welled up again, and you looked down, unable to meet his eyes. Rafe reached out, tilting your chin up so that you had no choice but to look at his blue eyes. “You were there for me, remember?” he said, his voice thickening. “Every time I messed up, every time I felt like I couldn’t crawl out of that pit with coke. You pulled me through. Don’t you dare think I’m not going to do the same for you. For however long it takes.”
The room stilled, the truth of his words settling into the spaces between the pain and you couldn’t help the sob that escaped your lips. You felt pathetic and mess, and yet Rafe was being understanding and loving – he was treating you like you should treat yourself.
He took your hand, placing a kiss to your palm as his eyes watched you tenderly. “Why don’t you take a nice bath?” he suggested, his voice gentle but firm. “It’ll help you feel a little better.”
You blinked at him, the exhaustion and emotional weight making it difficult to argue. Reluctantly, you nodded, and with a small smile, Rafe guided you to the bathroom, making sure you were settled before stepping out quietly, having lighten up your favorite eucalyptus scented cantle on the way out.
As the warm water wrapped around you, easing the tension in your muscles, Rafe was already in the kitchen, brow furrowed as he watched a YouTube video on his phone, the volume low so you wouldn’t hear. The video was one of those wholesome, comforting cooking channels, and he paid close attention, following each step precisely. He wanted this to be a surprise, a moment where he could make you feel seen and cared for like you had made him feel when he was struggling to keep clean.
Half an hour later, you slipped into one of Rafe’s sweaters, not wanting any fabric hugging your body. The scent of simmering herbs greeting you as you opened the bedroom’s door. Your curiosity piqued, and you made your way to the kitchen to find Rafe standing over the stove, a look of focused concentration on his face as he stirred a pot.
“Rafe?” you called, the sound soft, hesitant.
He turned, a sheepish grin spreading across his face as he caught your surprised expression. “Hey, I thought you could use something warm and comforting.”
“You didn’t have to—” you started, but he interrupted with a warm look.
“Yes, I did,” he said firmly. “It’s just a light soup to warm your stomach and keep you up. Something gentle to help you feel a little more settled.”
A few minutes later, he ladled the soup into a bowl, sliding it in front of you with a spoon. “This is going to be the best soup you’ve ever had.” He promised with a wink.
“And if you can’t eat much, that’s okay but you just gotta try, alright.” He pulled a chair, his arm sneaking around your waist as he brought you to his lap. His hand on your hip brushing a soft pattern under the fabric.
“Thank you.” you whispered, the tightness in your chest easing a little as you blinked a tear away.
Rafe pressed a kiss to the side of your head. “Always,” he said, his voice unwavering. “And remember, we’re in this together. Every single step.”
The first bite was warm and soothing and you felt your cheeks burning as he guided the spoon to your lips but his gentle whispers distracting you from feeling ashamed. He watched, eyes hopeful and patient. “It’s… really good.” you said, a small, genuine smile breaking through.
“Told you.” he grinned proudly, his lips moving to the bare skin on your shoulder. “And if we have to go through this a hundred more times, we will. We’re in this together, okay?”
You nodded, the knot in your chest loosening, replaced with something warm and steadfast. Hope didn’t feel so far out of reach.
“Tomorrow, we’re booking an appointment with the best therapist in Charleston. We’ll find someone who can help, okay? Someone who can give you the support you need.”
The sincerity in his voice brought fresh tears to your eyes. It felt like an embrace, even though he hadn’t moved further.
“You can do this, baby. You’re my tough girl, remember?” He whispered, his hand running up and down in a soothing rhythm on your back as he pressed a kiss to your lips.
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whispersofascorpiomoon · 2 months ago
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Toxic Mercury in The Signs
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Mercury in Aries ♈️ : Fast-talking, selfish, and dismissive in bed. They bulldoze boundaries and justify it with “just being honest.” This can scream antisocial tendencies, fueled by a reckless disregard for emotional consequences.
Mercury in Taurus ♉️ : Silent treatment champion. They avoid tough conversations about intimacy, letting resentment fester. Their stubbornness reeks of passive-aggressive behavior, leaving their partner feeling trapped in a loop of unmet needs.
Mercury in Gemini ♊️ : Masters of gaslighting and breadcrumbing. They’ll flirt with someone else right in front of you and then laugh it off as a joke. Their chaotic communication mirrors histrionic manipulation, making you question your sanity.
Mercury in Cancer ♋️ : Crying one minute, guilt-tripping the next. They weaponize emotions to control their partner, mimicking borderline traits with a clingy, smothering edge.
Mercury in Leo ♌️ : The sex is about them, always. They’ll fake vulnerability to keep you hooked but ignore your needs entirely. Their inflated ego channels narcissistic traits, leaving you feeling invisible.
Mercury in Virgo ♍️ : Obsessed with picking apart every detail. They’ll critique your performance like it’s a Yelp review, crushing intimacy with their obsessive-compulsive need for control.
Mercury in Libra ♎️ : Sweet words hide a manipulative core. They’ll charm you into compliance and avoid accountability when things go wrong. This covert toxicity creates a relationship built on lies.
Mercury in Scorpio ♏️ : Silent treatment? Check. Emotional blackmail? Double check. They’ll dig into your insecurities to gain control, embodying paranoid and borderline traits with a side of sadistic pleasure.
Mercury in Sagittarius ♐️ : Zero tact. They’ll tear you down with brutal honesty, then ghost you for asking for emotional depth. Their recklessness mirrors antisocial traits, leaving a trail of emotional casualties.
Mercury in Capricorn ♑️ : Cold, calculating, and transactional. They treat intimacy like a business deal, devoid of emotional warmth. Their detachment channels schizoid tendencies, making you feel more like a contract than a partner.
Mercury in Aquarius ♒️ : Overly rational and emotionally clueless. They’ll intellectualize sex, making you feel like a science experiment. Their lack of empathy reeks of alexithymia, creating a disconnect that feels robotic.
Mercury in Pisces ♓️ : Escapist and delusional. They’ll avoid real conversations by drowning in fantasies or substances. Their blurred boundaries reflect dependent traits, leaving you in a fog of confusion and unmet expectations.
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velarisdusk · 7 months ago
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Thawing Boundaries
Hockey AU | Azriel x Reader x Rhysand
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Series Masterlist Part 1 <- ✦.⁺.✦.⁺.✦ -> Part 3 - Melted Resolve
word count: 11.7k content: there's so much in this one i'm bound to miss a few [ explicit sexual content, PIV (protected, a shocker for me i know), rough sex, oral sex (f receiving), voyeuristic elements, dirty talk, degradation, biting/marking, choking, light slapping, public sex (locker room setting), threesome, dominance/submission, infidelity | forced proximity, emotional conflict, dub-con (but reader does want it i promise), injury mention, strong language, and (very light) emotional manipulation and guilt-tripping ] summary: After tension from a failed move at practice leads to a teammate's injury, you and Azriel unexpectedly meet in the locker room. As you share a heated moment, a surprise arrival heightens the stakes, leading to a steamy, forbidden encounter that leaves you questioning your choices and their consequences. author's note: AAAAAAAAA? tysm for all the love on Ice Cold Jealousy, this was so fun to write i hope yall like it >;) i might've gone too hard on the dirty talk depending on the type of person you are but idc it's hot OH and i PROMISE these wont all take place in the locker room lmfao, it's just where the plot took me. also, no dp dont get your hopes up.
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On the ice, chaos reigns. The game unfolds at breakneck speed, the puck zipping from stick to stick, its path unpredictable. Players shift positions in the blink of an eye, changing possession in heartbeats. Their movements are a blur of speed and precision, leaving you struggling to keep up with the rapid-fire action. 
With 15 seconds left, the Golden Spring Griffins were up 3-2. There was no need to score again — they just had to keep possession. A bunch of show-offs…
And right there was the proof. 
A pass from one of their wingers to the other, cutting it mighty close to the Snowvale Sentinels’ defensive line. He rode it along the left side of the rink for about ten feet before an abrupt 180; clockwise, getting up close and personal with the defenseman who’d chased him down the whole play. The defenseman struck his stick down between the other player and the puck, expecting him to double back around. 
Everyone expected him to double back around.
But there he was — Tamlin, you believed was his name — skating backward for a second, letting the momentum carry him along his path. And he finished out his clockwise turn. Turn back down the ice? Not a chance. It was the perfect opportunity for a spin-o-rama. What a silly name for such a calculated move. What he did next had the arena and fans watching from everywhere on their feet. 
It was common practice to pass after a spin-o-rama, the maneuver simply meant to disorient any nearby opposition if a player was ever in a tough spot. Whoever he passed to would be expected to, as quickly as possible, either go for the shot or pass to someone who could. The downside was that this not only gave the opposing team time to figure out what was happening but to adjust accordingly as well. 
So Tamlin didn’t give them that chance. 
Immediately after coming out of his spin, he brought his stick back, and in a flash, thrust it forward. You could’ve sworn you heard the blade hit the ice just before the puck, and—
Red light. Goal.
Buzzer. That’s game.  
A spin-o-rama, a risky maneuver as is, followed by a slapshot, one of the strongest but least accurate shots, as you’d heard Cassian remind his team countless times over the years.
It was all so fast.
You focus on his footwork throughout the turn, absorbing every detail.
Again, you watch, slower this time, and notice the precise angle of the blade.
Looking up, you see Tarquin attempting the very same move, Cassian standing in as an opposing player. You tap your phone screen, pausing the ESPN stream of last night’s game. You’d gotten your fill of it last night. Lifting the soup spoon from the pot to your lips, you’d very nearly burnt yourself after how badly you’d jumped at Cassian’s exaggerated gasp at the television. For what had to have been at least an hour following, you were subject to the full-volume gushes and shouts of every last one of the Vipers during their group FaceTime. They were playing the Griffins in a couple of weeks. Though they didn’t have a particularly bitter history, their rivalry always had a bit of an edge to it.
It made sense that during practice today, Cassian was on their asses more than usual. The priority for the next couple of days was to teach Tarquin and Rhysand the maneuver (while trying to master it himself), to then teach the others how to counter it. 
Practice ended over half an hour ago, but they still had some time on the ice before Phil the Zamboni Guy came out to resurface it. He was cool, if a bit grouchy-looking.
“Fuck!” 
He was fine regarding the first half of the move, but coming out of the spin, none of his slapshots made it into the net. Hell — none of them made it past Cassian. 
“Again,” he said, firmly but coolly. In response, Tarquin wordlessly skated back to his starting position down ice, head lazily flopped back and arms loose by his sides. 
“Where’s Rhys? Isn’t he supposed to be here too?” Tarquin groaned, shifting back into proper stance. 
“Rhysie’s got a little date tonight,” you could hear the smirk in your boyfriend’s voice, followed by a sound of exaggerated, definitely insincere, enthusiasm from Tarquin. 
Your phone buzzes, a text from Mor.
Karaoke tn?
Truly, you had plans. Plans to stay home and watch bad TLC shows with a large bottle of chilled wine. But really, how bad would it be? You’d be drinking either way. Karaoke is not a sober activity.
uhh
where at?
After a few moments, another buzz, a text with an address, followed by a “Pleaseeeee (y/n), it’s so fun when you come :( I need someone to debrief and shit talk with after.” You roll your eyes with a small snort. Tapping on the address link, the map opens to show you it’s a nice little spot downtown, hopefully better than the sketchy karaoke place you’d followed her to last time.
sure why n-
Your screen goes black. You sigh, realizing you’ve drained your battery watching replays and scrolling through socials during the long practice session. 
Bringing your gaze back up, you notice the palpable frustration radiating from both men. You’ve never seen Tarquin so angry during practice; things usually came quite easily to him. When his next slapshot makes it past Cassian but bounces off the crossbar, you’re stunned. Even more shocking is the feral growl that echoes throughout the arena. You watch, astonished, as he violently hurls his helmet onto the ice. He skates off, fuming, before storming off down the hall. To cool down, you presume. 
Cassian skates over to you, and you meet him at the players’ bench to avoid talking through the glass.
“That move is gonna give us all hell,” Cassian sighs, removing his helmet and running a hand through his sweat-dampened hair.
You nod sympathetically. “It looked tricky. Tarquin seemed pretty frustrated,” you say, stating the obvious. You both share a knowing smile. 
“Yeah… But we’ll get it down,” he says, determination creeping into his voice. “Can’t take as long as the backhand saucer pass with Eris. Remember how many times he nearly took Az’s head off before he got it right?”
You chuckle a bit at the memory. He’d gotten the pass down fairly quickly. The issue was applying it. They’d spend about a week of practice setting up different game situations for him to practice the move. 
Azriel got hit with the puck several times. 
“You look good out there,” you told him with a coy smile. 
“When do I not?”
“When you’re being a narcissist,” you scoff. A blatant lie; he knew you liked your men cocky.
Cassian leans closer, a roguish grin spreading across his face. “Narcissist? Please. It’s not narcissism if it’s true.” He winks, then adds in a lower voice, “Besides, I seem to recall you enjoying my… confidence quite thoroughly last night.”
You roll your eyes but can’t suppress a smile. “And here I thought your ego couldn’t get any bigger. Guess I’ll have to find a way to take you down a peg or two later.”
Cassian leans against the boards, his grin widening. “Is that a promise or a threat?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” you tease, mirroring his posture.
He relents, shaking his head with a chuckle. “You’re something else, babe, you know that?”
“So I’ve been told,” you reply with a wink. “Though usually by guys who can’t keep up.”
“Oh, I think I manage just fine,” Cassian counters, a glint in his eye.
You’re about to respond when his stomach lets out an audible growl. He looks down, slightly embarrassed, and you both chuckle, the moment lightening.
Cassian says, rubbing the back of his neck, “What are you thinking for dinner tonight?”
“Oh, actually,” you start, “I’m going to karaoke with Mor. And some of her friends, I think? I’ll grab something while I’m out.”
Cassian nods, “Sounds fun. Tell Mor I said hi.”
“My phone died while I was texting her. Mind if I use yours to let her know?”
“Sure thing,” Cassian replies, reaching over the wall for his duffel.
Suddenly, the sharp sounds of blades scraping ice cuts through the air. You both turn to see Tarquin charging full speed with the puck toward center ice. His helmet’s off, hair windswept, determination etched on his features. You can’t help but admire the raw athleticism on display as he turns his back to the goal, his footwork mirroring Tamlin’s from the video. 
You inhale sharply. As he initiates the spin, his blade catches the edge of the puck instead of gliding past it. In a split second, his ankle twists at a sickening angle. His body, still carrying the momentum of the spin, topples sideways. You watch in horror as Tarquin crashes onto the ice, a cry of pain echoing through the arena.
Tarquin clutches his ankle, his features twisted in distress. Cassian immediately rushes towards him. You follow, carefully stepping onto the ice, your shoes sliding slightly as you try to keep your balance.  As you near, you hear Rhysand’s voice from the direction of the locker room. “What happened?” he shouts, running towards the scene. 
Rhysand, more sure-footed, reaches you first. As you slip slightly on the ice, his hand finds your lower back, the other on your shoulder, steadying you as he moves swiftly by. He slides to his knees the last few feet, joining Cassian at Tarquin’s side. You follow, more cautiously, moments later. 
“You gotta let me get a look at it bro,” Cassian tells him, face grim as he gently probes at Tarquin’s ankle. He moves his hand, and Cassian carefully unlaces Tarquin’s skate. The process is slow, each tug causing him to wince. His eyes, usually so bright, are now clouded with pain, making your heart ache a little at the sight. When Cassian finally eases the skate off, you all grimace. It’s silent save for the breath you suck in through your teeth. The two men kneeling over Tarquin shoot you a look, and you mouth a small “sorry”. How were you supposed to know they were trying to keep calm? It’s not like Tarquin was some fragile rookie who couldn’t handle it. 
“I don’t think it’s broken,” Tarquin tells them, jaw clenching and nostrils flaring a bit in pain when Cassian tries to move his ankle. “Probably just a sprain, right?”
His ankle is already swelling, an angry red color blooming across the skin. The area around the bone looks puffy and distorted. 
“Yeah… Yeah, probably—help me get him to my truck,” Cassian says to Rhysand, his voice tense with worry. With Cassian supporting his legs and Rhysand at his shoulders, Tarquin cradles his ankle as they lift him. It’s a bit awkward with only one of them in skates but they manage. 
As they carry him towards the exit, Tarquin calls out to you, his voice strained with pain. “(Y/N)! Can you grab my phone from my locker? 1418, combination’s 19-21-13.”
“Got it,” you reply assertively, already turned away. You call back to Cassian, “Just go, I’ll meet you there!”
You hurry down the hallway, your mind racing faster than your feet. The image of Tarquin’s swollen ankle flashes in your mind, making you cringe. How bad was it really? A sprain could mean a few weeks of recovery, but if it was fractured or worse…
As you near the locker room, you force yourself to focus. 1418, 19-21-13. You repeat the numbers in your head, determined not to forget them in your rush. 
The quiet empty corridor feels eerie after the chaos on the ice. You find yourself wondering how Tarquin is holding up, if he’s in much pain. A pang of sympathy hits you — you’ve seen how passionate he is about the game, how hard he pushes himself. Memories of his intense focus during practices, the way his muscles flex as he glides across the ice, his infectious smile, the droplets of water trailing down his chest after a shower…
You quickly push those thoughts aside, feeling a mix of guilt and a confusing thrill at the unbidden images. 
Reaching the locker room door, you push it open without hesitation, your eyes already scanning for locker 1418. 
You spot it quickly enough, your fingers flying over the combination lock. 19-21-13. The locker swings open with a metallic creak. You rummage through the contents, pushing aside gym clothes and equipment until your hand closes around the familiar shape of a phone. 
As you’re about to shut the locker and race back to your car, something catches your eye. Pinned to the inside of the door is a Polaroid — one you took at the team’s annual log cabin retreat last year. The guys are shirtless, grinning at the camera, their arms slung around each other’s shoulders. Cassian stands in the middle, all flexed biceps and confidence, Rhysand to his right and Tarquin on his left with matching, easygoing smiles that you’ve internally swooned at more than once. Azriel, always a bit more reserved than the others, stands slightly behind them, his eyes soft with a rare moment of unguarded joy. Helion and Eris flank the group, their expressions reflecting a mix of mischief and amusement. That was moments before they’d picked Cassian up and thrown him into the lake. You can’t help but smile, remembering the weekend’s camaraderie and the close quarters, the obstacle course that left you all covered in mud and laughing, the impromptu swimming races in the lake, and the countless moments of playful teasing. The cabin’s single bathroom had led to more than a few flustered encounters. You’d lost count of how many times you’d rounded the corner, only to collide with one of the guys fresh from the shower, hair dripping, towel barely clinging to their hips. Each of them had caught you off guard at least once over the years, leaving you to save face and will yourself not to stare.
Your reminiscing is abruptly cut short by a strained sound echoing through the room. You freeze, suddenly aware of the steady hiss of running water. How long have the showers been on? You were so focused on finding the phone, you hadn’t even noticed… Another noise like the last, this one a bit louder. 
Concern creeps in as you wonder if someone else has gotten hurt. First Tarquin, now this? What is it with today? Cautiously, you move towards the showers, ears straining for any more sounds. The rush of water grows louder as you approach. Only the stall at the far end, against the back wall, is running. You notice a small gap between the curtain and the wall, and before you can stop yourself, your eyes are drawn to it. 
Through the narrow space, you catch a glimpse of Azriel. His back is turned, muscles tense, shoulders slightly hunched, his head bowed. There’s a rhythmic quality to his movements that takes you a moment to comprehend. When realization dawns, you feel heat rush to your face.
You know you should leave, give him privacy, but you find yourself frozen in place. The steam seems to thicken the air around you, making it harder to breathe. Suddenly you’re acutely aware of your quickening pulse and the warmth spreading through your body.
Azriel’s back muscles ripple with each movement, the water cascading down his tanned skin, highlighting every ridge and contour. His left hand is splayed flat against the wall for support, fingers flexing slightly every now and then. The muscles in his arm contract and release, contract and release. His right hand, lower and out of view, works in a steady, practiced motion.
You can’t tear your eyes away from the interplay of muscles across his shoulders and back. His wet hair clings to his neck, droplets trailing down to join the rivulets streaming along his spine. Your gaze travels further downward, following the water’s path over the powerful curve of his glutes, the firm muscles clenching with each movement. His legs, strong and slightly apart for balance, show every shift in weight and tension, every flex and release. 
The sight is intoxicating. A flush creeps up your neck, a reaction that’s as involuntary as it is intense. Azriel lets out a low, throaty sound of pleasure, and it sends a shiver down your spine. You’re rooted to the spot, every sense heightened. The steam swirls around you, seemingly thickening the air, making it harder to breathe. The sound of water rushing fills your ears, drowning out rational thought. You can almost feel the heat radiating from his body, the sheer presence of him a magnet pulling you closer.
Suddenly, Azriel’s movements still, and you notice the subtle tension in his muscles. He turns his head slightly, just enough for you to catch a glimpse of his profile. For a moment, you hope he hasn’t seen you, but then his eyes lock onto yours through the small gap. His gaze is intense, piercing, and you can see the realization dawning in his expression.
You feel your heart stop, your breath hitching in your throat. The room seems to shrink around you, the air heavy all of a sudden. Azriel’s lips curl into a slow, knowing smile, his eyes never leaving yours.
“Didn’t expect company,” he says, voice low and husky, cutting through the sound of the shower like a knife.
You stumble back a step, heat flooding your face. “I— Fuck, I’m sorry,” you push out, unable to tear your eyes away from him. From those eyes. He doesn’t move, just continues to watch you, the corner of his mouth twitching with amusement. 
You finally force yourself to move, turning quickly and beelining for the door. “I didn’t mean to— I wasn’t trying to—” you stammer over your shoulder, your heart racing. You reach for the door handle and tug, but it doesn’t budge. Panic flares as you yank harder, but it’s stuck. You slide Tarquin’s phone into your jacket pocket to use both hands.
“Seriously?” you mutter under your breath, trying not to think about what Azriel must be thinking of you right now. 
You hear the sound of footsteps approaching. Your pulse quickens as you keep tugging on the door handle. “You don’t have to pretend it’s locked if you wanna stay in here with me, y’know,” Azriel’s voice comes from behind you, closer now.
You glance back to see him walking towards you, a towel in hand, drying his forearms and hands. The towel barely preserves his modesty, exposing everything from his muscular thighs to the sharp cut of his hip bones and a tantalizing glimpse of his V-line. He’s casual, almost nonchalant, but his eyes never leave yours, dark with amusement and something more.
“I was—” you start, but he cuts you off, raising a brow.
“Enjoying the show?” he asks, voice smooth and teasing.
You manage to arch a brow as well, trying to maintain some of your dignity as you respond, “Didn’t realize you were putting on a performance.”
Azriel chuckles, a deep, rich sound. “For you, (y/n)? I’d put on a private performance anytime.”
You feel your face start to heat up again, but you keep your composure. “How generous of you.”
He grins, finally wrapping the towel around his waist, the movement slow and deliberate. It takes everything in you to keep your gaze from traveling downward. “I aim to please,” he says.
You gesture to the door with your arm. “Since you’re so helpful, how about getting this door open?”
Azriel steps closer, lightly brushing his fingers against your arm as he moves you gently aside. “Let’s see what we have here,” he murmurs, his touch making its way to your waist and lingering a moment longer than necessary.
He gives the handle a firm tug. It doesn’t budge for him either. After a few more tries, he furrows his brows at it, as if it’ll give him an answer. “You weren’t kidding…”
“Shocking, I know,” you reply, rolling your eyes.
As he continues trying the door, you can’t help but be captivated by the muscles rippling in his arms, each sinew flexing with effort. Your eyes wander to the brutal scars crisscrossing his hands, remnants of a fateful game well before your time with the team. But you can’t help but imagine how those roughened fingers would feel inside you. The thought has you biting your lip to keep from sighing.
Azriel’s movements falter, and he glances back at you, a smirk playing on his lips. You quickly divert your eyes, feeling the intensity of his gaze. His smirk widens as he steps closer, his presence overwhelming. He places a hand on your shoulder, his thumb rubbing the side of your neck gently before his grip tightens, almost possessively. “Catch your attention?” His voice drops to a whisper, the rasp sending jolts of arousal through you. 
“Come on, Az…” you murmur weakly, turning your head away from him. His hand moves from your shoulder to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing your cheek.
“You think I don’t see the way you look at me?” he asks, head cocked as he leans in to whisper in your ear. “You can never keep your eyes off of me for long, you make it so obvious.”
Your breath hitches as his fingers trail down your arm, sending a chill through your body. He leans in even closer, his lips almost grazing your skin. “Are you imagining what I could do for you that he can’t? Because I think about it more than I care to admit,” he continues, his voice a low rumble. 
Cass.
Your mind screams his name, but your body is rooted to the spot. Cassian is waiting for you, the urgency of the situation pulling at you like a lifeline. Yet here you stand, trapped in Azriel’s intoxicating presence, the steam in the air persistent. 
“You look tense, (y/n)” Azriel pulls back, his voice low and smooth, a dark melody that raises goosebumps across your skin. His hand moves to your waist, fingers tracing the curve of your hip over your skirt. “Is it because of Cass?”
You swallow hard, trying to find your voice. “Azriel. I need to go. He’s waiting for me.”
Azriel’s lips curl into a knowing smile as his hand slides lower, toying with the hem of your skirt. “Is he?” he asks, his tone teasing.
Your breath catches as his fingers dip beneath the hem, just enough to tease, “Az, please,” you murmur, though the conviction in your voice is waning.
“Please what?” Azriel’s hand moves with slow, deliberate intent, his touch both tender and possessive. “Please stop? Or please don’t stop?”
Your mind is a whirlwind as his touch makes your pulse race. “Cassian,” you whisper, almost a plea. 
“Cassian doesn’t have to know,” Azriel whispers, his voice dripping with reassurance, each word a gentle caress against your skin. “It’ll be our little secret. I promise.”
You should resist, should want to resist, to pull away and run to Cassian. But his hand slips up, under your skirt, fingers brushing over the thin fabric of your tights. Your body betrays you, squeezing your thighs together, a barely perceptible, breathy whine escaping you.
“We can’t,” you breathe out with a barely visible shake of your head, but you don’t push him away. 
“And why not, hm?” He sounds like he’s hardly there, enraptured by the trail of his fingers when they find the waistline of your tights, slipping just beneath the hem to caress your skin directly. 
You grab his wrist to stop him, and it’s only then that you tear your eyes away from his to look at the sight. His hand is under your skirt, the fabric draped over his wrist. The fabric is lifted just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your underwear if he were to lower his gaze. 
Your heart pounds as you struggle to maintain your resolve. “This isn’t right,” you whisper, your voice betraying the war raging within you. 
Azriel’s fingers pause. “Isn’t it?” he asks softly, his voice a soothing murmur. “It feels right, doesn’t it?”
His tone is gentle, almost coaxing. “We’re just sharing a moment,” he continues, his breath warm against your skin. “No one has to know.”
Your grip on his wrist weakens, the conflict within you intensifying with each second. His words, his touch — they’re all weaving a spell around you, pulling you closer. 
Azriel senses your hesitation and presses his advantage, his hand resuming its slow, deliberate movements. “Just let go,” he whispers, his voice a dark promise. “Let me make you feel good.” 
Your resolve crumbles as his touch becomes more insistent, his fingers tracing patterns of fire on your skin. The forbidden thrill of his touch, the intoxicating promise of pleasure — it’s too much to resist.
With a soft gasp, you finally give in, your back arching as your chest presses into him. “Azriel,” you breathe, but it’s different than before. This time, his name tumbles from your lips as both a surrender and a plea. 
Azriel’s smile is triumphant as he captures your lips in a searing kiss, his hands roaming freely now, exploring every inch of you. The world outside fades away, leaving only the two of you in this heated, forbidden moment.
You know you shouldn’t be doing this. Part of your mind screams at you to stop, to push him away, but the way his hands move, the way his lips taste… It’s intoxicating. The guilt gnaws at you, but the desire is overwhelming, drowning out any sense of right or wrong when his hand slips further into the waistband of your tights, his fingers brushing against your panties. He rubs you through the fabric, and as a soft moan escapes your lips, a groan leaves his. The sensation is electric, a pleasure and forbidden thrill that makes your knees weak. You clutch at his shoulders, torn between the need to push him away and the desire to pull him closer.
You gasp, his name a breathless whisper on your lips. He responds with a low, satisfied hum, his fingers working, pushing you further into your haze. His touch is both gentle and demanding, sending shocks of pleasure through your body. You feel his warm breath against your neck as his lips trail down, leaving a blazing path in their wake. Your body craves more, hips moving in a slow, sensual rhythm against his hand. He doesn’t stop, each stroke deliberate and intoxicating. Your breaths come faster, and you tangle your fingers into his still-dripping hair, pulling him back up for a frenzied kiss.
Desperation takes over as you both rush to tear off your clothes. Your jacket falls to the floor with a distant thud, Tarquin’s phone still in the pocket. The sound barely registers in your mind, consumed as you are by the urgent need to feel Azriel’s skin on yours. His hands move with practiced ease, pulling your shirt up and off, your lips hardly separating. His fingers work deftly at the clasp of your bra, and with a single motion, it comes undone, falling away to reveal your bare skin. 
As you kick off your shoes, his lips are already back on your neck, biting, licking, aching for a taste. You step backward, the backs of your thighs brushing against the wall as he tugs down your skirt and tights in one forceful, fluid motion, the urgency in his actions mirrored by your own racing heartbeat. Each step backward leaves a piece of clothing discarded. He pauses, his eyes dark with desire as he takes you in, then his fingers resume their exploration, sliding beneath your panties to rub you directly. You gasp, arching further into his touch, and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth with the same intensity as his fingers. He pulls back his hand, peeling away and discarding the last bit of cloth. He lifts you then, your legs wrapping around his waist instinctively. As you both step towards the shower, you hear the soft thud of Azriel’s towel hitting the floor. He guides you closer, the anticipation building with each step. The spray of water hits your skin, and for a moment you're confused.
Azriel’s voice, low and reassuring, cuts through the hiss of the water. “Some privacy,” he murmurs against your lips, a sly smile playing on his face. “In case we get rescued.”
The water cascades over you both. You cling to him, lost in the sensation, the guilt and doubt taking a backseat. His hands roam freely, caressing every inch of your body with a possessive tenderness. His lips trail down your neck, your collarbone, your chest. His fingers find your clit again, circling in slowly, teasingly. You moan into his mouth, the sound swallowed by his kiss.
“You feel so good around my fingers,” Azriel growls against your lips. “So tight and wet for me.”
Your breaths are nothing more than shallow gasps, each one punctuated by the delicious friction of his fingers. “Az,” you moan, trying to keep your voice low. “I need more.”
He smirks, his lips brushing against your ear. “Oh, are you going to beg for it?” A deep hum. “I want to hear those sweet little moans louder, baby, can you do that for me?”
You can’t help but comply, your moans finally growing from whispered gasps as his fingers move faster, curl harder. “Fuck— Yes, Azriel, right there,” you choke out, the last remnant of common sense in you still minding your volume. 
“That’s it,” he purrs. “You’re so fucking perfect like this, falling apart on my hand.” His thumb steadily circles your throbbing clit. 
Your hands grasp at his shoulders for something to anchor yourself with as the pleasure builds. “Please Az,” you whimper, your voice trembling with need. “I’m so close,” you tell him, a hint of disbelief in your tone.
“Come for me, angel,” he commands, a glint in his eyes. “Show me how good I make you feel.”
Your body tenses, the pleasure cresting, and you let out a strangled cry, a hand over your mouth stifling it. Your orgasm crashes over you in waves, and his name spills from your lips, a breathless chant, as he continues to touch you, prolonging the pleasure.
“That was… wow…” you pant as you come down from your high.
“Good,” he says, his fingers slowing but not stopping. “But I’m not done with you yet.”
Before you can respond, he moves his hand from your breast to your mouth, holding his fingers up to your lips. “Suck,” is all he says. And you do. You take his fingers in, swirling your tongue around them, coating them in your saliva. “You look so beautiful like this,” he murmurs, looking down at you with slightly parted lips. “So perfect.”
He pulls out of you, but just as you’re about to whine around his fingers at the loss, you see him bring them to his own mouth, and you whine at that instead. He groans and his eyes roll back when he tastes you, and the sight sends a rush of need to your core. “Azriel,” you mumble around his fingers, the word muffled. 
“Shh, angel,” he soothes, his voice a low rumble. “Just let me take care of you.” His fingers leave your mouth, trailing down your body. Both of his hands come to rest on your hips, squeezing the flesh there. He turns you suddenly, pulling your back flush against his front, and his arms wrap around you. One hand slides between your legs, resuming its torment, while the other moves to cover your mouth.
“Quiet now,” he whispers. “Wouldn’t want anyone walking by outside to hear us, right?”
You nod, hardly processing what he’d said. Your concentration is set on the feel of his toned abdominal muscles pressed against your back. 
“You said Cass was waiting for you, right?” he whispers in your ear, the sensation without being able to see him being all the more delicious, but your eyes widen at his words. You let out a frustrated groan, much louder than the noises you made before, though it’s muffled by his hand. “Doesn’t seem like you care too much anymore… What if he comes looking for you? Hm? What then? Gotta keep quiet for me, okay?” You can practically hear the smile in his voice. “For all we know, he could be right outside the door, worried sick about his sweet little (y/n).”
Your heart races at his words, fear and excitement coursing through you. Azriel’s fingers move faster, his hand stifling your moans. “Imagine the look on his face if he found you like this,” he continues. “So needy, so desperate for my touch.”
You shiver, his words igniting a forbidden thrill within you, far surpassing the teasing and casual touches Cassian permitted them all. “Please…” It’s so muffled behind his hand, but he hears you perfectly.
“Please what?” he murmurs, his fingers continuing to thrust in and out of you. “Please make you come again? Or please stop before Cassian catches us?”
Your mind is a whirlwind, the thought of Cassian finding you like this both terrifying and exhilarating. Azriel loosens his hand long enough to hear your response. “Make me come,” you finally whisper, your voice trembling with need. “Please, Azriel.”
“Good girl,” he purrs, his fingers moving with relentless precision. “I want to feel you come for me again.”
You’re teetering on the edge of another orgasm, every nerve ending alight with sensation. The only sounds in the room are the running water, your ragged breaths, and the wet, slick sounds of his fingers working in and out of you at a punishing speed. Just as you’re about to reach the peak, you hear it — a faint squeak of a sneaker on the tiled floor.
Your eyes snap open, panic mingling with the pleasure. Azriel falters for a beat, barely half a second, but doesn’t stop, his hand tightening over your mouth. “Shh,” he whispers right into your ear, his voice dark and heavy with authority. “Don’t make a sound.”
You’re caught in a delicious torment, the fear of being seen only heightening your arousal. The footsteps grow louder, and closer, and then, abruptly, the curtain is yanked open.
Rhysand stands there, eyes wide with shock, then with something else as his eyes rake over your body. His eyes meet yours, then shift to Azriel behind you, his hand still buried between your legs, still moving in and out. A smile creeps onto Rhysand’s face and he crosses his arms, leaning against the wall with a short breath of a laugh. 
“Does Cass know you’ve got her here like this?” He juts his chin at you.
Azriel smirks, his fingers still working inside you. “What do you think?”
Rhysand chuckles, his eyes roaming over your body with a detached curiosity. “You think he’ll have you skate lines for this?” he muses. His gaze travels up and down your form, lingering on the places where Azriel’s hands are touching you, but his face remains a mask of calm. Yet you notice his knuckles turning white where he’s squeezing his hands into tight fists. 
“Probably. And you’d probably be right there next to me just for seeing her like this,” Azriel replies nonchalantly, only a hint of the raspiness he spoke to you with before remains. “But I think it’s worth it.”
Rhysand nods, his eyes darkening with a predatory gleam. “She’s quite the sight isn’t she?” he says, as if you weren’t even there, as if you were nothing more than a piece of art to be admired and discussed. His gaze meets yours, and you see the raw hunger lurking beneath his cool exterior. It excites you, makes your muscles clench around Azriel’s fingers. 
Azriel hums in agreement, fingers curling inside you, drawing a muffled moan from your lips. “Cass is lucky to have her.”
Rhysand's eyes remain fixed on you, a predatory gleam in their depths. He doesn't say anything more, just watches intently as Azriel continues his ministrations. You cling to Azriel's arms, your nails digging into his skin, the need to come overwhelming you.
"That's it, angel," Azriel murmurs, his voice low and soothing. "Get yours, go ahead."
You can see Rhysand hardening in his pants, his cool demeanor betraying nothing but his body telling a different story. The sight only heightens your arousal, pushing you closer to the edge. 
With a final, desperate cry, you shatter around Azriel's fingers, your body convulsing with the force of your orgasm. He holds you through it, his fingers never stopping until you're trembling and spent.
As you come down from your high, Rhysand steps closer, his gaze never leaving yours. "Mind if I join?" he asks, but his question is directed at you, not Azriel.
You hesitate, the conflict clear in your eyes. Azriel tilts your chin up, forcing you to look at him. "It's okay," he murmurs, his thumb brushing over your cheek. "You want this, don't you?"
You swallow hard, then nod slowly. Rhysand's eyes darken with satisfaction as he begins to strip, his movements unhurried.
Azriel’s fingers finally slip out of you, and he gently guides you to lean back against the shower wall and he kneels before you, bringing one of your legs over his shoulder. The warm water cascades over you both, heightening the intimacy. Between your thighs, eyes locked on yours, he starts to kiss a trail up your inner thigh. “You’ve been such a good girl for me,” he murmurs against your skin. “You ready to be good for Rhys too?”
Rhysand, now fully undressed, steps into the stall with a lazy confident stride. He lowers himself beside Azriel, his eyes devouring the sight of you. You can’t help but look away from the sight of both of them admiring your most intimate parts. “Look at you ,” Rhysand says, his voice dripping with approval, and you whine in embarrassment as he spreads your sex. “So beautiful.”
Azriel’s mouth replaces his fingers, his tongue flicking out to taste you, and you gasp, your hands tangling in his hair. Rhysand stands, his hands cupping your breasts with a thumb circling your nipple, eliciting a soft moan from you. “So fucking good,” he murmurs, leaning in to capture your lips in a searing kiss. 
His lips are even softer than you imagined, his hands both tender and firm, exactly as you’d fantasized. Azriel’s tongue works with expert precision, each stroke sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. Rhysand’s hand trails down your body, his fingers joining Azriel’s mouth between your legs, and the combination of their touches drives you wild. 
“Does that feel good, angel?” Azriel asks, his voice vibrating against your core. 
You nod, unable to say anything more than a quiet ‘uh-huh’.  Rhysand’s lips travel to your neck, sucking gently on the sensitive skin there. Your heart shoots up into your throat, hoping they thought about leaving you free of any marks. “You look so perfect like this,” he whispers, his breath hot against your neck. “Tell us what you need, darling,” Rhysand says softly, gently. 
“Both of you,” you manage to gasp out, your voice trembling. “I need both of you.”
Azriel’s laugh is low and wicked as he pulls back slightly, his eyes dark with amusement, chin slick with your wetness. “Hear that, Rhys? She can’t get enough — she’s fuckin’ begging for it.”
Rhysand’s fingers trail slowly over your skin, away from your most sensitive, a smirk tugging at his lips. “I know, so needy,” he murmurs, his voice dripping with mock sympathy. “Poor Cassian. Does he know what a slut you are for us? How you’re dripping and ready the second we touch you?”
Azriel’s hands move to your hips, gripping them firmly. “I bet he’s pacing right now, worried sick about his sweet little (y/n),” he taunts, his breath fanning over your pulsing cunt. “And here you are, begging for us to fuck you. Does that make you wet, (y/n)? Knowing he’s waiting?”
You whimper, the heat of their words igniting your shame. “I don’t— It— No,” your eyes turn glassy with tears. You should leave, should somehow get through that door and run to Cassian and confess everything, beg for his forgiveness, and pray he doesn’t leave you for betraying his trust. But the need, the raw desire coursing through you, Azriel’s face between your legs, keeps you rooted to the spot. Before you can wonder how Rhysand even got in, he speaks up, his voice dripping with amusement. “Look at you, stuttering and trembling. You can’t even admit it to yourself, can you? That being a good, filthy little slut behind his back turns you on.”
Azriel chuckles against your core, the vibrations sending shivers through you. “He’s right, isn’t he, angel? Answer him,” he commands, tongue and fingers working in tandem. Then Rhysand’s lips suck and bite at your breast, his hand squeezing at the other. It all pushes you to the brink of your sanity. You can’t deny it anymore. The very thought of betraying Cassian while being worshipped by his two best friends, their words and touch stripping away your hesitance, is intoxicating. The way their voices tease and command, the way their hands and mouths worship your body — every sensation, every whisper, is a direct line to your deepest desires. 
With a moan, you finally give in, your voice barely more than a breathless murmur as a single tear falls from your eye. “Yes… God, yes, it turns me on so much…” Your admission hangs heavy in the air for a few moments. Azriel’s eyes gleam with a dark satisfaction, and Rhysand’s smirk widens as if he’s just won some grand prize. The air around you crackles with their shared triumph, and they each seem to revel in having been able to extract the confession from you. 
Rhysand’s fingers continue to slide over your skin, his touch commanding and sure, and Azriel shrugs your leg off his shoulder as he stands and steps aside. “Want to feel her, Rhys? She’s perfect.” He doesn’t hesitate for a moment, pushing his middle and ring fingers into you, a groan escaping him at the feel of you.
“Damn… I can’t wait to stuff you full, (y/n). Do you want that? Want us both to fuck you so good, don’t you?”
You must have whined out your boyfriend’s name, because Azriel’s voice adds, “You know we won’t tell if you don’t. Cassian doesn’t need to know about this, right?” His hand comes up to move a wet strand of hair from your face and stays on the back of your neck, thumb rubbing your skin soothingly. 
Rhysand’s fingers pump into you deeply now. Their faces are both so close to yours and it takes everything in you to continue to listen to what they’re saying. “That’s right, darling. It’s our little secret, just the three of us.”
“You’re doing so well, angel,” Azriel praises. “Just let Rhys take care of you. We’re here for you.”
“Cassian doesn’t need to know. It’s just us.”
“No one else needs to be involved. It’s our little secret.”
Their voices are thick with charm. It’s meant to soothe, to let you know this is a safe space where your desires are understood and indulged. You find yourself lost in their promises, in their intoxicating reassurance. It all creates a heady mix of emotions, drawing you deeper into the experience and further away from any thoughts of right or wrong.
Suddenly, Rhysand lifts your leg, hooking your knee into the crook of his arm. You gasp in surprise, hands grasping for any point of contact with them to keep yourself from falling. One grabs Rhysand’s bicep, the other lands on Azriel’s shoulder. His voice grows more urgent as he teases your slit with the head of his cock, his breath hot and demanding. “Remember, this is all for you. It’s just us making sure you get everything you want. Okay?”
It’s silent save for the spray of water around you all, and their eyes bore into yours expectantly. They were waiting. If you really didn’t want to do this, this was the moment to give the word. But the intensity of their gaze, the heated promises in their voices, and the way their bodies are pressed so close to yours make it nearly impossible to think clearly. The urgency in Rhysand’s voice and the steady reassurance from Azriel leave you trembling in anticipation. The pressure of their touches, the pleasure, the guilt, the need.
A soft, trembling “Yes” escapes your lips, barely audible, but it’s enough. Rhysand’s eyes light up with satisfaction, and he immediately begins to position himself more firmly, his movements confident and assured. 
Azriel’s hand continues to soothe your neck, his thumb stroking gently as he leans in closer. “That’s it,” he sighs absently.
But you reach out and grab Rhysand by the wrist, stopping him. Their expressions shift to confusion; surprise and concern evident on their faces. You pause, a note of urgency in your voice. “Condom,” you manage to say, clearly and firmly. 
Their features seem to relax a bit at that. They exchange a glance, and Azriel nods slightly before stepping away to fetch condoms from his locker.
Rhysand takes the opportunity to lean in closer, a genuine softness in his eyes as he looks at you. He gently places a hand on your cheek, his expression turning serious. “(Y/n), if you’re having any second thoughts, you can tell us. We can stop right here if you’re not completely sure, if you’re not comfortable.”
He pauses, giving you a moment to respond, his gaze unwavering and sincere. “We want you to feel good and to be sure about what you’re doing. If you want us to stop, we’ll stop. No questions asked.”
You distantly hear Azriel throw a locker shut. “Rhys… If I didn’t want this, you wouldn’t still have my leg over your arm.”
Rhysand gives a soft smile. “Alright, then.” He leans in, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. It felt more intimate than the situation warranted. “Just making sure.”
Azriel returns holding a string of condom wrappers, and steps back into the shower, pulling the curtain shut behind him. Rhysand takes a foil square from him, opening it slowly. Azriel’s hands roam your body, his touch both grounding and electrifying. “We’re going to take our time with you,” he whispers, his breath against your ear. “Make sure you feel every second.”
You look down, watching Rhysand line himself back up, and your breath hitches. He’s big, the thickness of him daunting. The sight sends a thrill of anticipation through you, albeit with a touch of apprehension. He digs his fingers into your hips, the tip of his cock pushing up against your entrance. “Just relax, it’s alright,” he soothes you as he begins to push in, stretching you in ways that leave you breathless. The initial sensation is intense, pleasure and a slight burn as your body adjusts to his size. Every inch that presses into you feels like pure ecstasy. Your fingers tighten on each of them, your eyes wide and not once leaving Rhysand’s.
Azriel’s hand slides from your waist to your lower back, his touch featherlight but reassuring. As Rhysand pushes deeper, Azriel’s fingers trace the sensitive curve of your spine. He leans in, his breath tickling the shell of your ear. “You’re doing so well,” he murmurs. “He’s big, isn’t he?” His other hand cups your breast, rolling and pinching your nipple. The dual sensation of Rhysand slowly filling you and Azriel’s gentle, yet firm, touch on your body makes your head spin. Azriel’s lips find the curve of your neck once again, planting soft, open-mouthed kisses along your skin. The tenderness has you throwing your head back with a sigh. 
“Mhm,” you moan slightly with a soft nod. Azriel, still toying with your nipple, gently grabs your chin and guides you to look back at Rhysand. 
“Tell him, angel. Tell him how you love being split open by his cock, he wants to hear it.” 
You whine, timid, as you look him in the eyes again, the violet deep enough to drown in. “You feel so good,” you manage to whisper, voice trembling. “I love how big you are, how you stretch me.”
But Azriel’s grip on your chin tightened. “Is that what I said?” His tone was domineering. 
You swallow a gasp as Rhysand settles all the way in. “I love… being split open by your cock, Rhys,” your breathing coming in pants. “So good…”
You watch his lips curl into a smug grin. “That’s my girl,” he murmurs, pulling out until only the tip was in, then gently pushing himself back into you. But Azriel isn’t done. 
“Now tell him you need more, beg him for it.” You can tell he’s got a devilish grin on his face by the sound of his voice. 
“Please, Rhys, I need more,” you keen. “I need you to fuck me harder.”
Rhysand’s eyes darken with lust, his nails digging into your hips. “That’s it, beg for it,” he growls, beginning to pick up speed. His thrusts become more powerful, sending waves of pleasure through you. 
“Harder, Rhys,” you plead, your voice quivering. “I need you to fuck me harder, please don’t hold back, I need it so, so bad—Fuck!” Your brows knit together in pleasure. 
Azriel moves behind you, his strong hands sliding under your thighs. With a swift motion, he hoists you up, your legs hooked over his arms, the hold forcing your legs as far apart as they’ll go. Rhysand takes the opportunity to explore your body with his hands, one wrapping loosely around your throat and the other gently tangling in your hair. 
“You feel so fucking good around me,” Rhysand grunts, his breath puffing against your lips. “So tight, so perfect.”
Azriel’s grip on your thighs is firm, his fingers digging into your flesh as he supports your weight. “Doing so well for us, angel,” he whispers, along with other soothing words of affirmation. 
Rhysand’s pace quickens, each thrust harder and deeper than the last. His hand around your throat tightens just enough to make you gasp, his eyes locked onto yours. “You fucking like this, don’t you?” he growls. “Being used by us, being our perfect little slut.”
“Yes, God,” you moan, your voice breathless and full of need. “I love it, Rhys, you fuck me so good.” You feel Azriel’s grip tighten and Rhysand’s hips stutter at your words.
“He fucks you good, angel?” Azriel breathes out. When you nod, Rhysand sees him whisper into your ear, the relentless stream of water muffles his words, rendering them inaudible to him. 
You shake your head adamantly, the glazed-over look clearing from your eyes. “No, Cassian’s the best,” your voice is steady despite the pleasure coursing through your core with every pump in and out. “No one fucks me like he does.”
Rhysand's thrusts slow but grow more deliberate, hitting deeper with every motion. He moves his hand from around your neck only to roughly grab your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “Is that so?” he murmurs, brows raised slightly. He thrusts harder, his eyes never leaving yours, determined to make you doubt your own words.
Azriel readjusts his grip on your thighs, and you can feel his hard length pressing against your ass. “Does Cassian treat you like you deserve? Like the whore you are?” Azriel asks, his voice a husky whisper against your ear. “Does he know how to make you tremble like this?”
Your eyes water, and you bite your lip to stifle a moan. “He… he knows me better than anyone,” you manage to say, though your conviction wavers with each thrust and touch.
Rhysand smirks, his grip tightening on your hips as he increases his pace. “We’ll see,” he growls, leaning in to capture your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue dominating yours.
Azriel’s mouth trails hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, his teeth grazing your skin just enough to make you gasp. “We’re going to make you feel so good, angel,” he whispers for both of you to hear. “So good that you’ll forget all about him.”
Rhysand’s fingers dig into your flesh, his thrusts becoming more intense. “Tell us how it feels,” he demands, his breath hot against your lips. “Tell us who’s making you feel this way.”
Your mind is a whirlwind of sensations, the relentless pleasure making it hard to think. “It… it feels…” you gasp, unable to form coherent thoughts as Azriel’s lips and Rhysand’s thrusts overwhelm your senses.
 “Tell us,” Rhysand growls, jackhammering into you, a thumb playing with your clit. “Who makes you feel this way?”
Azriel’s breath is hot against your ear, his voice a seductive murmur. “Just admit it to yourself, (y/n).”
You’re teetering on the brink, the overwhelming sensations pushing you closer and closer to the edge. “You… you’re…” you stammer, the words caught in your throat.
“Say it,” Rhysand commands, his voice rough with need.
Azriel’s lips find the sensitive spot just below your ear, his teeth grazing your skin. 
Finally, your orgasm breaks, and you cry out, your body convulsing with the force of it. “Cassian!” you scream, the name ripped from your lips as pleasure crashes over you in waves. Tears stream from your eyes now, whether from the contrition or the sheer bliss, you didn’t know. 
Rhysand's eyes flare with anger. His thrusts become more erratic and forceful, his jaw clenched in frustration. The force of his thrusts now left the previous ones forgotten. “Cassian?” he growls, voice low and dangerous. “Was Cassian the one to make you come just now?” Without a word, he grabs you from Azriel. You wrap your legs around him. Without missing a beat, he pulls out almost entirely, leaving you gasping for breath. He slams back into you with a renewed, relentless force. The raw intensity of his thrusts makes you whimper, your body trembling from the overstimulation. His eyes lock onto yours, filled with a fierce determination to make you forget everything but him.
“I don’t want you saying his name while I’m inside you, while I’m the one fucking you dumb,” Rhysand demands, his voice rough and commanding. “Look at you… A crying mess.” He pulls you down onto him with every upward thrust. “Say my name,” he demands, his tone both seductive and demanding. “I don’t care if it isn’t true, while I’m fucking you, you make me believe I’m the only one you want.”
You gasp and moan as his words cut through your tears. “Rhysand… Rhysand, you’re the one,” you whimper, barely able to form coherent thoughts. “I need you… so much.”
Behind you, Azriel’s eyes gleam with a predatory interest as he watches the intense scene unfold. His hand drifts down his body, fingers brushing against his neglected cock. He strokes himself slowly, savoring the sight of you being claimed by Rhysand, the way your body responds so eagerly to every thrust.
“Prove that I’m fucking you so stupid that all you can think about is my name. Can you do that for me? Can you forget about Cassian and make me the only one who matters?”
You nod fervently, your voice breaking. You shout a mantra of “Yes’s,” your body arching in response to his powerful thrusts. “Want you to come…”
Rhysand’s lips curl into a dark, satisfied grin as he listens to your desperate pleas. “Good girl,” he murmurs, movements growing more urgent, breathing growing heavier. “Scream my name while I come inside you,” he commands, his voice strained.
Your body is trembling from the intensity, every nerve alight with overstimulation. “Rhysand! Rhysand!” you cry out, each plea mingled with breathless moans and cries of ecstasy. “Please, don’t stop! I need more, need you to come!”
With a low, guttural sound, Rhysand finally reaches his climax. His thrusts become sharp and erratic, each one punctuated by a shudder as he fills you completely. His grip on your hips is relentless, his body convulsing with the force of his release. “That’s it,” he growls, his voice thick with satisfaction. “You’re perfect. So good for me…”
As he pulls back, panting heavily, Azriel steps forward with a smirk of his own. His gaze is unwavering, and his presence feels almost predatory. He takes you by the waist, guiding you down gently. Your legs feel like jelly, barely able to support your weight, and you stumble slightly as you catch yourself against the cold tiles of the wall.
“Wait, just a sec…” you manage to murmur, still trying to catch your breath. But Azriel isn’t having any of it. His hands are firm and decisive as he presses you against the wall chest-first, pulling your hips back, and pushing your back into an arch.
“No,” Azriel’s voice is a low, fierce growl, his eyes burning with unrestrained hunger. He steps closer, his movements assertive and commanding, an almost primal need radiating from him. As he presses you against the cold tiles, your legs buckle slightly under the weight of his presence. His hands grip your waist with unyielding strength, holding you firmly in place. “No more waiting,” he murmurs, his voice rough and laced with desire. “I found you first. I’ve been waiting my turn, watching, and now I get my time with you. You’re not getting a moment’s rest.”
Your mind is a hazy whirl of pleasure and confusion, struggling to focus on anything. The remnants of your coherence slipped away at some point while you were in Rhysand’s arms — those strong arms — leaving you a trembling mess against the cold wall. You can barely think.
 “(Y/n),” he says sharply, getting your attention, or what was left of it. “I’m going to take you, right here, hard and deep, and make sure that every time this pussy gets fucked, you wish it was me doing it. Do you understand?”
Your head nods instinctively, but your voice comes out as a breathy murmur, “Y-yes… want it… need you…” Your words barely form.
Rhysand, still catching his breath, watches with a smirk. “She’s completely lost in it, Az,” he teases, stepping up next to you to run a hand over your wet hair. “I fucked you so good. That’s what you said, right?” He chuckles lowly. 
Azriel’s eyes darken as he cuts him a look, jealous when he sees Rhysand running his hand through your hair. “You did. And now you’re done,” Azriel growls, pushing his hand off of you. You whine, missing the comforting touch. He grips your hips firmly and thrusts all the way into you, eliciting a loud shriek from your lips. He doesn’t give you time to adjust to his considerable size before he sets a powerful, unrelenting rhythm, each motion drawing a helpless gasp from your lips. Your legs shake and threaten to give out, but Azriel’s strong hold keeps you steady. 
“So fucked out you can’t even think, hm, darling?” Rhysand says in mock sympathy.
“Good,” Azriel mutters into your ear. “Brainless and begging for my cock.”
Without warning, Rhysand drops to his knees between you and the wall, his tongue tracing a line from your thigh to where Azriel is pounding into you. He wraps his arms around you, hands squeezing your thighs and ass, the sensation makes you gasp, your body jolting as Rhysand’s mouth latches onto your clit, his tongue swirling with expert precision. Azriel's grip on your hips tightens, his thrusts merciless. “Do you think about us when you're with him? Do you wish it was our hands on you, our cocks filling you up?”
Your answer is a high-pitched moan, your mind too foggy to form words. Azriel’s hand slides up to your throat, gripping firmly but not cutting off your air. “Don’t just moan like a dumb fucking whore,” he growls, the other hand slapping your cheek lightly a few times to get your attention. He doesn’t stop plowing into you for a moment. “Answer me.”
“Yes! Yes, I think about you,” you gasp out, your voice trembling. “I want you… both of you… so bad.”
Rhysand chuckles against your skin, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. “Good girl,” he murmurs against your lips, his tongue flicking your clit mercilessly. “Y’know, Cass’s probably gonna be a fuckin’ mess if he finds out what you’ve been up to, especially since he’s just sitting around waiting for you at the hospital,” he whispers, his voice laced with playful menace. “Just imagine how he’d react…”
Your response is a pitiful whine, tears mixing with sweat as you weakly call out, “Cassian… Cassian… I love him…” Your voice breaks with each syllable, the raw emotion evident in your cries.
You feel Rhysand’s smirk widen against you as he looks up and meets Azriel’s eyes. “Yeah, you love him so much that you’re here with us, right, darling?”
Azriel’s thrusts don’t falter as he grabs you by the shoulders for leverage. “We know you love him, baby. Now take this fucking cock.” And he slams into you with a force that pulls sob after sob out of you. His grip on your shoulders tightens, then shifts. One arm slides up, wrapping a firm, massive bicep around your neck, pulling you back into a headlock, his control over you absolute. Each thrust of his massive cock seems to reach even deeper into you at this angle. “You love being used by us, don’t you? Just a little slut for our cocks.”
“Yes… I love it…” you manage to gasp out, your voice barely above a whisper.
Azriel’s hand comes down sharply on your ass, the sting making you cry out. “That’s right. Scream for me. Let Cassian hear how much you love this.”
He grabs your jaw, forcing you to look back at him. “Look at you, a dumb little whore, taking it so well. You like being fucked like this? Like a toy?”
“Yes… like a toy… your toy…” you whimper, your body trembling.
“Tell me how much you love it, angel. Beg for more. Beg for my cock,” he commands, his voice dripping with dominance.
“Please… Azriel… more… I need more…” you plead, tears streaming down your face.
“I bet Cassian couldn’t fuck you like this. Even when he thinks he’s being rough, he’s too gentle, isn’t he? A pretty little cocksleeve like you needs it rough, huh? Need to be reminded you’re just a hole for us to use,” Azriel growls.
“You’re nothing but a cock-hungry slut, aren’t you? Just a little plaything for us,” he continues, his words sending waves of shame and arousal through you.
Sometimes, you could swear you felt Rhysand’s tongue reach further as if he was tasting you on Azriel’s cock. The sensation is mind-blowing, pushing you deeper, if possible, into submission. Rhysand's tongue continues its relentless torment, occasionally delving deeper, tasting every thrust Azriel gives you. It's overwhelming, the combination of Azriel's cock and Rhysand's tongue driving you to the brink of insanity.
“You’re so fucking tight,” Azriel grunts, his arm tightening around your neck, making you gasp for air. “I can feel you clenching around me. You love this, don’t you? Love being filled up, love being our dirty little secret.”
“Yes… Fuck yes, Az,” you whimper, your voice raw and desperate. “I love it… love our secret.” 
Rhysand chuckles darkly, his hot breath teasing your sensitive skin. “Desperate, dripping, and fucked out of your mind for us. What would they all say…?”
Azriel's hand slides from your jaw to your breasts, roughly squeezing and pinching your nipples, adding to the exquisite mix of pain and pleasure. “I want to hear you beg for it, angel. Beg for me to fuck you harder.”
“Please… Az… fuck me harder… use me,” you plead, each word broken by gasps and moans.
He holds you up effortlessly, his strength and dominance undeniable. “I want you to scream my name,” he commands, his voice low and rough. “Scream it so loud that Cassian hears it in his fucking dreams.”
“Azriel! Azriel!” you scream, your body trembling uncontrollably as he drives you closer to the edge.
“That’s it, you’re doing so good. Show me how much this tight fucking hole loves when I fuck it,” Azriel growls.
“I’m just your — fuck — your worthless slut… your cum dump, both of you…” you whimper, the words spilling from your lips without thought. “I’ll take everything you want to give me…”
Azriel’s and Rhysand’s eyes widen in shock, both momentarily stunned by your shameless, complete submission. The brief pause is charged with a dark thrill, their expressions those of surprise and deepened desire. 
Rhysand recovers first, a dark smile stretching across his face as he leans over to look up at Azriel. “You hear that, Az? You hear what she’s calling herself?” His voice is dripping with mockery and appreciation. “Tell us again, darling, I love hearing it. How much do you like being used like this?” He leans back into you, his tongue flicking over your clit with renewed intensity. 
“Love it so much…! Just want to be filled and used… Want to make you feel good…”
Azriel let out a sound somewhere between a groan and a whimper. “Making me feel so good, angel, you’re perfect… Gonna use you up, nothing else matters but you taking what we give you, do you understand?”
You cry out a string of “yes’s!” the muscles in your body begin to shake uncontrollably. Your ears ring, the sound melding with the pounding of your heart.
Azriel’s hands slide back down to your hips, and he pulls you closer with each powerful thrust, altering the angle to hit deeper. The shift sends a jolt of intense pleasure through you, causing your body to spasm with every stroke. You gasp, feeling every ridge and vein of his cock with heightened sensitivity.
Rhysand pauses his relentless flicking of your clit, his mouth hovering just above your sensitive skin. He takes a moment to savor the sight of you trembling and gasping, his eyes dark with satisfaction. “That’s all us,” he murmurs, his voice a low purr. 
Azriel’s breathing grows ragged. “Just let go and take it all. Your body’s ours to use however we want right now, huh?” The depth of Azriel’s movements, coupled with Rhysand’s teasing touch, pushes you to the edge yet again. You cry out, all desperate moans and incoherent babble. Rhysand’s tongue returns to its torment, tasting you come undone on his tongue, leaving you gasping and clinging to whatever coherence you have left. The ringing in your ears doesn’t subside until they finally relent. 
Azriel’s breaths come in heavy, ragged gasps as he slows his thrusts, satisfaction in his eyes. “You took us so well,” he murmurs, and he sounds almost as spent as you did. You both collapse against the cool tiles, bodies still intertwined, the sound of the water cascading around you. You reach out and turn the water off, the sudden silence only broken by the soft pants of breath.
Rhysand steps out for a moment and returns with a couple of towels from his locker. He hands one to Azriel, who begins to dry you off with a tender, almost reverent touch. Rhysand grins, wrapping his towel around his waist. "You kept up pretty well," he quips, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
You smirk, taking the towel Azriel offers you. "I think you two just like to show off," you tease, patting yourself dry. "Always trying to one-up each other and forgetting about everyone else."
Azriel chuckles, shaking his head as he dries his hair. "Can you blame us?" he replies. "We have a reputation to maintain."
Rhysand steps closer, his eyes darkening with a mix of amusement and desire. "And what about you?" he murmurs, brushing a strand of wet hair from your face. "You’re quite the little fox yourself."
You raise an eyebrow, a playful grin tugging at your lips. "Takes one to know one," you retort, enjoying the way their eyes light up at your sass.
Suddenly, you look at him with curiosity. “Wait, Rhys, what are you even doing here? How did you get in?”
Rhysand smirks, a little sheepishly. "I left my wallet and came back to get it."
Azriel chuckles. "Through the door? We were stuck in here."
Rhysand shrugs. "Oh, that door has been acting up ever since Eris jammed it last month." A look of understanding dawns on Azriel’s face.
Just then, the phone abandoned in your jacket pocket rings, jolting you all. 
Fuck.
You rush over to grab it. Your heart races as you see Cassian's name on Tarquin's phone. You answer the call, trying to steady your breath. "Cassian?”
"Hey, babe, what's taking so long? Are you on your way?"
You hesitate, then reply, "We got stuck in the locker room."
"...We...?"
"Yeah, Rhys and Az are here too."
You can hear the suspicion and jealousy creeping into Cassian's voice. "How long have you been in there? Why didn’t you call?”
“My phone is dead, remember? And I don’t know Tarquin’s password to make a call,” you explain quickly.
There’s a pause before Cassian speaks again, his tone tight. “I'll send Mor to help you out.”
You sigh, relief and anxiety mingling. "Thanks, Cass. Love you."
"Love you, too."
As you end the call, you glance back at Rhysand and Azriel, who are both watching you with a mix of concern and amusement. "Looks like Mor is on her way to rescue us," you say, trying to lighten the mood, though you can’t help but worry about your hair still being wet. She’d notice that right away.
"Better get dressed then," Azriel smirks. "Wouldn't want her to catch us like this." Rhysand chuckles, shaking his head, and you smile, the tension easing a bit.
"Definitely not..."
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meo-eiru · 5 months ago
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Despite his competition being an immortal elf and an actual demon, Father Micah is definitely the scariest of your current OCs, and I love him all the more for it.
(That being said, I'd be very weak to Elias guilt-tripping and self-harm threats, so maybe in an unusual way Elias is also one of the scarier ones)
Micah is scary as in he manipulates and breaks you with full intention. His actions are always calculated and he knows exactly what he's doing to you. He wants you and he will take you, he doesn't mind pulling dirty tricks for it or threatening you.
Elias on the other hand doesn't exactly manipulate you with intent but more with instinct. He's panicked and he can't think straight so he just tries to do something extreme in hopes of making you do what he wants. He thinks his body is the only thing that's worth anything so that's the first thing he threatens you with.
In this sense I would say Micah is scarier. Elias might do very dangerous things but he's also easier to calm down and his mood swings makes him easier to predict. Meanwhile you can't predict Micah, you can't read Micah's expressions and you don't know what Micah is thinking. As soon as you think you might be able to trust him he might threaten you into submitting to him.
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akixxsstuff · 10 months ago
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Dating L would be like...
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Death Note L Lawliet x gender neutral reader
(I'm aware that the picture says girlfriend but the gender of the reader is not specified in the fic. The pictures were also edited by me).
Fluff // One shot
Summary: L was more like a machine than a human, he was cold, calculated and a "no fun and games" type of person aside from the occasional sarcastic or dry humored comment. L never lost his composure and would repress any emotion he had as a intimidation tactic. He was blunt and wouldn't allow anything or anyone to dethrone him.
However around you, L wasn't quite that...
The task force had suspected you and L were a couple, but whenever anyone asked about it, L would quickly shut down the conversation and went back to his work, saying that it wasn't any of their business. You and L were a couple but he just wanted to keep things secretive and professional since doing otherwise made him feel vulnerable.
He couldn't let his suspect Light know how much you meant to him just in case he used it against him, plus it was just in L's nature to be serective.
However as soon the doors were closed and the task force was gone, he would be nuzzling into your shoulder, whining for attention. He would never stop clinging onto you until he got he's way because in his own words, "I'm also childish and don't like to lose".
Like today for instance:
"Not now Lolly, I've got an appointment to book", you said sighing while L continued kissing your neck and nibbling your ear from behind. "I love you but I do not appreciate your lack of cooperation" L then grumbled.
Lolly was your main pet name for L since it sounded like it was short for lollipop, (and we all know how much L loves those) and sounded similar to his real name, Lawliet. Panda was also another common one since he reminded you of one with his dark eyes and pale skin.
He then kneeled in between your legs with his head resting on your thigh, looking up at you in annoyance in an attempt to guilt trip you, (however he couldn't mask he's pleading eyes). "Lolly I already told you I'm busy, just 10 more minutes okay my love?" you cooed while stroking his cheek. But L didn't care, he picked you up bridal style from your chair and tossed you onto the bed. "Lawliet, you should know of all people how important it is to not have any distractions from your work" you said rasing an eyebrow. "You make a fair point" L says with his thumb on his lip, "But I'm not feeling very empathetic tonight" then he proceeded to smother you with kisses.
Your dates were either cafe hopping, picnics in the park, or L trying to teach you tennis. You would always try to get him to wear shoes but he would refuse, saying "I don't like how they feel". "I know but I don't want you to step on a piece of glass and hurt yourself" you would say while kissing his forehead. "I will live" L would reply while blushing from your kiss. You would then sigh and take off your shoes, "Fine, if that's how you want to play" and you both would walk around barefoot.
Another thing L wouldn't budge on is removing all the cameras and wiring taps from your room, if someone broke in and tired to hurt you he needed to know immediately who was responsible so he could toss them in jail forever. He valued your life way more than his, afterall, he did challenge Kira to kill him live on broadcast.
L absolutely loved when you taunted his number one suspect Light, in fact it was his love language.
"I'm not Kira!" Light would yell.
"You're not a very convincing actor Light, but hey! Maybe they'll give you an academy award in prison just for trying. Light Yagami! Mass murderer tries playing innocent victim!".
As a detective, L would always be analysising people's behaviour and you were no expectation.
"How was your day darling?" L cooed.
"Fine. I'm going to my room".
You say that you're fine Y/N yet you're tone and lack of physical affection would indicate otherwise. Could you be trying to deprive me of your attention as an indirect punishment? What could have I done?
However, you did mention how your work load has increased because of the lack of empyoees, were you stressed from that and simply avoided me to avoid talking about it? I should confront you instead of making any assumptions, it could make matters worse because you might believe that I am deliberately ignoring you.
"Love, I believe I have done something to upset you, please tell me what it is was so I can correct my behaviour. Will you accept this piece of cake as a initial peace offering? If I'm not to blame then please tell me who's bothering you so I can potentially sue them".
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animeyanderelover · 8 months ago
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7k Special!
We did it! Thanks to your support I reached 7,000 followers and as promised, here is the first post with Hc's for some of the Blue Lock characters. If you're wondering how I determined which characters make it onto this list and not, I basically picked the first 10 characters from the result of the 1st popularity poll. The characters are listed according to the results from no.10 to no.1.
Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional mindset, manipulation, clinginess, paranoia, blackmailing, guilt-tripping, intimidation, jealousy, isolation, threats, abduction
Blue Lock Hc's
Ego Jinpachi
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⚽​Well, if it isn't the overly confident and egotistical man himself who is solely responsible for creating the entire Blue Lock facility. His entire life revolves around the concept of one's "ego" and to no one's surprise he acts quite self-serving just as much when it involves his obsession with his darling. Born from his desire to have you for himself, he works quite ambitiously towards his goal. It may not look like he is doing much but Ego is the man behind the screen who manipulates everything to gets what he desires. A lot of work is done where you won't know it as you definitely shouldn't underestimate his methodical and cunning nature as this lanky man knows where and when he has to manipulate people. Truth be told, he bears some understanding for the fact that instead of playing 4D chess, he could simply ask you out and court you the normal way but his mind works in a very different space in comparison to other people. Asking only to run the risk of being rejected is what losers do. A true winner ensures that he gets what he wants, no matter what.
⚽​Funnily enough the very man who orchestrates all those calculated schemes to trap you where he wants he wants you to be is arguably one of the most awkward individuals as soon as you are within proximity. Conjuring up plans and manipulating others is a piece of cake but it has to be admitted, Ego is not exactly familiar with the concept of romance and relationships and his already eccentric character only makes everything worse. He has a very terrible tick of just staring at you with those dark orbs of his for minutes without even uttering a word and it freaks you out, especially since he doesn't even blink at all. What unsettles you visibly on him doesn't bother him too much though, though he obviously notes how you are always skittish around him. He's sure that he can work on that though so that you stop being so visibly tense around him. How is he supposed to enjoy his price after all when they are constantly acting so troublesome? Looks like his work isn't over yet after all...
⚽​Do you enjoy being verbally degraded? Do you enjoy watching others being verbally degraded? If your answer to both of these questions is 'no', the best advice would be to avoid eliciting Ego's jealousy. Admittedly, it is difficult to read him as his facial expression and overall behavior doesn't give away his emotions unless he is gloating and taunting others so perhaps by the time you notice, it is already far too late. It is commonly known that Ego never coddles people and not even you get such special treatment from him. Shouldn't you know better than hanging around other people and basking in their attention? Are you that pathetic? No excuses in the world will do it for him because even if you try to explain that the other person started it first or that you and them are only friends, no excuse in the world will cut it for him. Then he'll either argue that even if they did start it first, you could have done more instead of submissively resigning yourself and if they are merely a friend of yours according to your claims, he will mock you for your ignorance as you clearly don't seem to understand their true intentions.
⚽​It is not in his style to unalive people and honestly, he might very well believe that for some death is a far too merciful way. Crushing someone's hope and dream is much more within his league and he is terrifyingly good in it. He is a master planner who can quickly assess people and their strengths and weaknesses and what has been working with his unpolished players and you will work with anyone else who he dislikes. Yes, you have read that right. There is no grand moral compass that determines when someone gets on his list. Instead he makes such decisions based on how much he can stand someone or not. He loathes people who put in neither the work nor the effort and just resign themselves to their fate and you are guaranteed to lose more than one person in your life because he removes such people from your life. His words are unforgiving and harsh as he humiliates anyone he doesn't like with no shame or restraint, even if that person should be someone you are extremely close to. There is little to no sympathy you can expect from him when you are busily grieving later on as a weak-willed person doesn't have any value in your life. It's time for you to realise that.
⚽​Despite what you may think of him after everything he has dragged you through, Ego is suspiciously lax when it comes to the topic of living together or not. That mainly derives from the knowledge that at this point he has already control over your life to the extent where he doesn't need to concern himself with any fear that you may escape his grasp again. By all accounts, he might even prefer for you to continue living in your own house as his own living conditions are...lacking, to say the least. Everything actually turns out the complete opposite as he instead starts popping up all the time in front of your door and nestles himself down in your own home confidently as if he owns the place. It is a true hassle to live with him as he litters the place with cups of ramen and packages from all the fast food he consumes and expects you to clean it up. There have been a couple of times where you have tried to throw him out and assert dominance yet those moods of yours are quickly shot down when he gives you an unimpressed look and reminds you of all the stuff he knows about you that you wouldn't want others to know about you.
⚽​The one time you tried to be considerate and actually prepare him a meal that is healthy, he looked at you blankly for a couple of seconds before dumping it all on your plate and instead preparing himself a cup of yakisoba. In hindsight you're more surprised that he didn't throw it straight into the rubbish bin because you would fully expect him to do something like this. Life with him is exhausting and tiring but above all it is strange, annoying and awkward. No one exactly knows if you two are an official couple or not and truth be told, not even you know it. Ego never bothers to update anyone about it either and you can't tell if he simply decides to not bother to tell those who aren't smart enough to figure it out themselves or truly doesn't care about what others think about you two as long as they understand to stay away from you. Such a freaking faultfinder as he always finds something he nit-picks about and tells you that you could do better yet you are sure if you would leave him in charge of any chores, he would either not do them or break something in the process.
Mikage Reo
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💴​Reo is in an interesting position because he was born as the heir of the Mikage Corporation. Throughout his entire life, everything he has ever wanted was immediately served to him on a silver plate and as a result he is incredibly sated when it comes to receiving gifts and presents. Options are far and wide to get whatever he desires, even you. It is precisely because of this fact that Reo chooses to not flaunt his wealth and his money in your face as he instead yearns to win you over all by himself without having to rely on the influence he possesses. Two things that you will notice pretty early on are that he is obsessive and rather clingy. There is after all more behind him than just an attractive face and enough money to buy your entire street. Reo is multi-talented and sharp-witted and those are skills he relies on as he tries to win your heart over. There is so much diligence, perhaps bordering even on overzeal, as he actually creates a notebook solely for you where he writes down every single day everything that he has been able to notice and deduce by watching you.
💴​It gets increasingly hard to avoid the purple-haired male as time passes on and he gets to know more and more about you. Whilst he is not showering you just yet with the most expensive gifts in the world, the impulse to buy something he knows you like gets strong the more he gets to know your likes and your dislikes. It isn't uncommon for him to buy you once or twice food or other small presents he knows you either enjoy or need right now. Eager for attention and approval from you to be able to tell himself that he can get what he wants even without his wealth, Reo constantly seeks you out and attempts to show off in order to impress you. His grades are excellent and he surpasses other people easily in most other areas just as much and if you have a certain hobby you value, he will claim that for himself too in hopes of getting closer to you. Even if you should show signs of discomfort around him, Reo carries on as he is partially delusional. Deep down he is after all still the spoiled boy who thinks that he can get whatever he wants. Surely you just need some time to become acquainted with him before you will finally give him a chance.
💴​He is normally the one surrounded by people all vying for his attention. Whether it is because of his charismatic and attractive demeanor or because of his money, Reo is usually the one who gets showered in all the attention that he doesn't desire. Perhaps for the first time he experiences what it is like to be depraved of something he wants despite it being so close that he could just grab it. Jealousy is something Reo is not familiar with as there has never been the need of him to feel jealous about anything in his life before. The green-eyed monster awakens within him easily though, perhaps he has never felt those feelings before and for that has no resilience against it. Reo gets surprisingly jittery every time he's hit full force with jealousy and even if he attempts to hide it, his high emotionality makes him rather vulnerable to react aggressive and rude if things do not go the way he envisions them to go. He's left upset after every such ordeal, partially even with you, though he continues to cling to you despite those feelings.
💴​He vows to win you over without using his wealth and power yet that is not true and Reo knows about that himself. It is a shameful secret of his that he in fact has used the influence he has to remove certain people from your life who got the better of him and made him paranoid that he would ultimately lose you despite his best efforts. All the confidence he shows is ultimately nothing but hot air after all as it evaporates the moment things do not bow to his whims. Some people who you love the most in your life do not have anything in comparison to him yet they still are allowed to be such a grand part of your life. Why is that? What can he do better? He has analysed and observed only to not find out the secret behind said person and it is then that taunts and words from that same person can get through him easily, especially since he tends to seek them out and question them since his inability to comprehend what he is doing wrong is torturing him. Even if he catapults them out of your life though, he is painfully aware that he has still lost to them in the bigger picture. He'll do better from now on though! He has to...
💴​There is one singular moment that will drastically change everything within your relationship forever and that is the day when Reo snaps. Indirectly he has always been manipulating things by getting rid of certain people who were in his way but he has never directly blackmailed you. All that changes though when he eventually realises that he will never be enough for you. You do not love him after all, something Nagi has been telling him for months already. How...? Why...? Can you not see how much he loves you? Do you not realise what he has done for you? Something fundamentally just shatters somewhere in his heart in that moment as his already highly emotional personality experiences a breakdown. He cries, he screams, he throws things around and hyperventilates for painful minutes until he partially calms down. He pured so much effort into this all yet it was all for nothing in the end. Whatever then. If that is how it is, he'll just use whatever is necessary to have you. A tiny, delusional part of him crawls into his brain like a parasyte. Perhaps this is the push you need to finally fully love him?
💴​You experience the full brunt of just how rich this boy is only after both of you are in an official relationship. You've always caught glimpses of his wealth on special occasions like Valtenine's Day or your birthday but it is only after you two are a couple that he opens the gates and floods you with his money and gifts. Whatever you want will be yours as long as it doesn't involve breaking up with him. Reo's possessive attitude turns up especially once he has you as he sees little to no reason to share you with other people after that. He has fought for you and now he has you, even if he should have cheated in the process. Such possessive attachment makes him quite overbearing though as he is as needy as he is clingy. With all of the money and the wealth he lavishes you with, he expects your affection and love in return and only gets antsy when you do not give it to him. Whether you know how to keep him happy or not is most likely a key factor in determining just how good this relationship will be as Reo feels emotions with full force and acts on them accordingly.
Teieri Anri
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🔴​Anri is a woman who is passionate about the things she believes in and not afraid to speak what is on her mind if it is needed. She is an ardent believer of the Blue Lock project and is together with Ego the driving force behind everything. A woman as determined and stubborn as this can't help her flustered shyness when she is around her obsession though and no one is more embarrassed about that than Anri herself. If she ever thought that being lucid about her feelings would help her, even if just a little, she is certainly mistaken as she finds out soon enough. Essentially used to keeping data on every player in the project and keeping files on them, there is a somewhat creepy sense of order even amongst her feelings though as she actually notes down certain things she deems as neccessary. Important information such as potential allergies, events of your past or the stuff you love and despise are all often scribbled down in uncontrolled bursts of passion or typed away on her phone. Even if she realises later on what she has done and throws away the pieces of paper or deletes the files, the information is now in her brain.
🔴​You'd be mistaken to ridicule her down to only an attractive woman though as Anri is quite persuasive if she can be. She already has experience with the sleezers in the Football Association and managed to talk them into starting the Blue Lock project in the first place so she has undeniable stubbornness as well as skills to convince people into giving something a chance. Business can easily be applied to her daily life as well as she could use the same skills she has attained in her job around you. Those skills of hers are actually used around you but that is often done more unconsciously than anything, though her stubborn attitude remains the same. What is done unconsciously around you is used on purpose when she is faced with people you are close to who remind her a bit too much about the old men in which case she will utilise the knowledge from her experiences and her skills to convince someone if they should disapprove of her feelings for you.
🔴Despite her ability to admit very openly what is on her mind, she is less prone to react overly jealous. At least being professional as well as lucid has some perks to it as she can keep her own temper better under control if she ever feels the envy gnawing on her heart. There is this small habit of hers to observe the other person for a couple of minutes, though in a normal way if I were to compare it to the stares of someone like Ego. She even chooses to actively engage in conversations and interactions with the other person, even if she has the hidden motive to find out more about them due to her jealous feelings. Depending on how far eveolved the relationship between the two of you is already at that point in time, Anri will either just straight-up tell them that she is your girlfriend or she will come up on the spot with something that the both of you need to do. Usually she maintains the professional and polite attitude though as she would feel a smidge too embarrassed to be obvious about her jealous intentions.
🔴​Anri provides the most normal relationship of all even with her bad habit to create files detailing information about you. This penchant of noting everything important down and keeping it safely stored somewhere is pretty much the same concept if we're talking about how she deals with the people in your life that need to be gone. Anri is from everyone in Blue Lock the least likely to consider something as extreme as this but that doesn't mean that she will slack off if the need ever arises. In fact she is all about the efficient work if it ever gets this far. Everything is written down about the threat and she will be especially focused on the stuff that can be used against them later on. She extracts information from every available source and she can do so rather well as she knows how to use her words to convince people to tell her more. She will blackmail them later on if they do not listen to her warning and if she finds a blind spot, she might even twist information to a certain degree where it is still believable but would definitely stain someone's reputation.
🔴​Least likely to abduct you. It is not only because of her small build if we were to compare her to all the men she is surrounded by but also because she still holds on to her pride despite her already somewhat obsessive feelings for you. There is no question about the fact that Anri wants to move in and live together with you at one point but then she wants the decision to be mutual between the both of you. Until that happens though, she also has other things that she wants to fulfill before that. She wants to see it through that Japan wins the World Cup and currently she is already very busy basically playing the baby sitter for Ego which devours a lot of her time. After her first dream is fulfilled and she isn't stuck with Ego anymore, she vows to fulfill her other dream of living together with you. Preparations have to be done then though as she needs to buy a bigger place for the both of you then and she definitely has to improve in her home economics so that you won't be stuck with all of the work.
🔴​Her awareness normally always helps her to retain her polite and professional attitude but sometimes she tends to get lost in her thoughts and that is when her more obsessive side tends to show up. Most inconvenient, especially since she usually needs a while to snap out of it and until that happens she is basically muttering down every piece of information about you as she recalls the file she has created about you. That is probably how she accidentally let Ego know of your existence and she has never lived down the embarrassment of it, although the lanky man seems fairly uninterested in you. She should be happy about his disinterest but a part of her can't help but be slightly mad for his lack of interest in you because it is you! Not gonna lie, Anri is probably as healthy as you can get with a relationship in Blue Lock. Admittedly, not hard since every other option involves a football maniac. Let's just pray that all of the ego talk doesn't rub off badly on her.
Kunigami Rensuke
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🦸‍♂️Kunigami is a rather moral person even if he is still participating in Blue Lock to become the world's best striker which is why he tends to be more bearable with his obsessive tendencies. Normally a person who is more serious and calm in comparison to other players, perhaps it should not be a surprise that he harbors a deeper awareness for what his feelings truly are. His initial way of dealing with them is just bur​ying everything about his obsession, a flaming feeling of shame apparent in his soul as it contrasts with his morals as well as his wish to be later also seen as a football hero and inspire the ext generation of players. To give him some credit, it does work for a while as he manages to even act fairly normal around you, though you are probably also the person who manages to make him flustered the easiest from all. All good things must eventually end though and it is most likely that a trigger such as intense jealousy or protectiveness is ultimately what makes him realise that he can't snuff those emotions out anymore.
🦸‍♂️​As soon as he has come to terms with that realisation though, it is almost like there is a switch activated within him as he now actively woos you instead. Rensuke has always been passionate about the things he is striving for and now he strives for a relationship with you. A tinge of possessiveness is probably a coherent trait for everyone within Blue Lock but he manages to handle his ego better than some other guys who don't even bother. The most apparent thing that defies him is his protectiveness that sometimes can border on overprotectiveness. There is a small fantasy he harbors as he kind of wishes that he can be your personal hero which always saves your day when you find yourself in peril and it is a small motivation which tends to urge him to blow things a bit out of proportion. Kunigami is capable of restraining himself in his behavior though and still remains capable to feel shame and guilt about his actions if he were to end up acting on impulse without thinking something through.
🦸‍♂️​The sensation of the green-eyed monster creeping up on him is always a good way of drawing out the possessive part of his which is under normal circumstances always kept on a controlled leash. Whether this is an established relationship or not, once Kunigami has finally decided within his heart that he wants you, he will get you. No one else will be allowed to court you or ask you out and he is going to make sure of that. His height and his muscular build already make him somewhat of a monster and he is aware of the intimidation people feel when he does as much as tower over them. He'd be lying if he were to say that he doesn't take advantage of that from time to time. Aware when you are watching though, he keeps up his cool and serious attitude as he just tells someone to piss off with a darkened look in his eyes. It's probably once he is sure that you aren't within sight that he gets more rude and scary if someone can't seem to comprehend even a simple warning.
🦸‍♂️​You'd rather not get punched or kicked from someone of his height and strength. That would be pretty painful and not nice to look at afterwards which is why Rensuke sees it through that you never witness violence. This is one aspect he initially finds himself struggling with. He's always been about fair fights and whilst competition is to a certain degree acceptable, violence has never been something he indulged in to get his way. His lucid state of mind can do more harm than good in such situations as the guilt is a weight he finds himself unable to shake off which is why he ends up coming up with feeble justifications. Do not misunderstand, he feels zero remorse if he punches someone because his protectiveness was triggered as he he thinks of people who threaten or harm you as scum. It's when he has to acknowledge that someone is a good person in itself and his actions are a result of jealousy and possessiveness that he finds himself struggling to come up with excuses, though he finds himself failing every time.
🦸‍♂️​Hurting people physically and covering all incidents up is one thing that is a heavy load on his shoulders but that he finds himself eventually living with somehow. A weight far heavier that never stops dragging his heart down into the mud is the topic of abduction. Chances of abduction are lower with Kunigami in comparison to some other guys within the facility but it isn't out of question if the right buttons are pushed for him. The most likely trigger to coerce him to kidnap you would probably be his overprotective tendency, though it doesn't have to be. If he were to kidnap you out of concern for your health though, it would probably still be easier to stomach than to realise that he has done it because he has given in to his egoistic feelings. The shame is almost too much for the first few day and the knowledge that you will probably never see him as the hero he wants you to see him is a thought constantly racing through his mind to remind him of his failure. There will probably always be a slice of guilt present even after time passes that will catch up to him in a quiet moment.
🦸‍♂️​Whilst he normally isn't one who flaunts his skills around carelessly, he can't deny that he likes showing off. Even in the scenario where you should be taller than him, he would still insist on giving you a piggyback to show off his strength. If you are smaller and weaker than him, he ends up subconsciously babying you a bit by always insisting to open cans for you or grabbing something for you that is out of your reach even if you didn't ask for it. Rensuke is admittedly not the best at handling compliments and ironically enough you could smother him with kisses and touches and he would fare better than if you were to give him a few compliments which always heat his cheeks up faster. I think I read somewhere that he has a thing for the nape of the neck so you can count on it that he will constantly place kisses on there multiple times throughout the day. He doesn't mind introducing you to other guys from the facility though he is probably also not going to let you stray away more than an arm's length precisely because he is familiar with some of their antics.
Itoshi Rin
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🩵​Rin is someone who only acknowledges someone's presence if they have an ability on the soccer field that actually proves to be a challenge to his own play. So imagine his surprise when he realises that you, someone who should have by all accounts nothing remarkable on you for him to recognise, are one of the few people he actually remembers and acknowledges. He doesn't understand why his eyes always instinctively gravitate to you when you are around him, teal orbs unable to move away from you as he stares at you until you notice or someone else points it out and throws him out of his train of thoughts. You confuse him, your presence prominent in his mind even when you are nowhere in sight and he finds himself growing frustrated as he can't pinpoint the reason for his interest in you despite you not even being a part of Blue Lock. Interestingly enough Rin doesn't try to avoid you. Unbeknown to himself he ends up only fueling his obsession as he actively seeks you out, restless as he grasps as nothing when trying to understand why you are on his mind so often. You... What is it about you that justifies your large presence in his thoughts?
🩵​The times where you turned around somewhere and found him standing right behind you for god knows how long are numerous and even if you have begged him to announce his presence, he has never done so. It's almost as if he is expecting you to notice him all by yourself. Rin is often finding himself around you when he has the time to do so and you have actually not even caught him every time he decided to follow you, only when you were talking to someone and he felt a funny feeling in his chest. Well, it isn't like he seems to care about the fact that he is basically stalking you as he only focuses on his own wants. And what he wants is figuring out what the heck you are doing to have him this captivated. His stoic face is honestly quite good at hiding what is going on inside his head because Rin is so obsessed to the point where it is bordering on the lines of funny yet pathetic. At the most random times his mind just drifts into a completely different direction as he recalls moments of you where he thought that you were being cute or where you were unintentionally being hot and he replays that scene over and over again until his heart is racing against his chest and a faint blush is on his face.
🩵​With a typical possessive streak possessed by most people in Blue Lock, Rin is not the exception. Whilst he does require some time to even acknowledge the fact that he is feeling that way about you, he has never hesitated to act on it whenever someone got too close to you for his own like. He's always towering over that person, teal eyes glowing as his gaze rests on them with his typical icy expression. His words are not any less blunt and cold and he doesn't care for even your pleas to stop as he verbally degrades that person even if they should be a close friend of yours. You're never left alone after such incidents happen as Rin feels almost queasy to just go his separate way after scaring someone away, ever so slightly paranoid that it could happen again as soon as he turns his back to you. At one point he even demands from you to keep your distance from others to ease his own anxiety and fulfill his wish, either unaware or indifferent to the fact that he is starting to act too controlling.
🩵​You'll find out that the longer he spends time thinking about you and being around you, the more control he will desire to have over you and your life. Rin has never shied away from bluntly telling you about his thoughts and his desires and this becomes especially apparent when it involves the people you keep around you. He demands to be your priority and the moment he thinks that that spot is being threatened by someone else, he tells you to stop hanging around them. The only exception he seems to make for now includes siblings and close family but he has no such consideration when he wants you to cut ties with friends you have known for years. If you refuse to do as he says, he takes things into his own hands. From humiliating and insulting your friends with harsh words to relying on manipulation as he lies to them as he tells them things you supposedly say behind their back to strain the relationship, never once does Rin stop to consider that what he is currently doing is nothing short of cruel and terrible.
🩵​If you are someone who has their own head and won't just comply with everything he tells you to do, quite obviously the two of you will clash. Rin is all about manipulating people and making them act like he wants them to even if they are unaware of it. It's always a sensation akin to having a bucket of cold water poured over his head when something doesn't go the way he intends it to go. He grows especially annoyed if you continue your stubbornness even if he has told you to do something multiple times before. Is it really that difficult for you to do as he says? He starts belittling you, his bored tone almost hiding the slice of simmering frustration he harbors for your thick head. He wouldn't use physical violence against you for an abduction though. Not only because he isn't keen on acting like a brute but also because he knows that he can do better than that. He will do better than that. Cue for his manipulative streak to get to work again as he goes a different path to give you a bit more convincing reasons to stay by his side.
🩵​Rin is low-key a creep but he gets away with it because no one who looks at his serious face would ever expect him to be one. It eventually is revealed though, not only to you but also to his teammates in Blue Lock. As soon as someone mentions your name in a conversation,he goes off. If someone says something he knows to be wrong he is swift to correct them and if someone does actually know something about you, especially if it is something he didn't know, he for some reason feels the need to prove that he still knows more about you. It always ends with him holding entire monologues about everything he knows about you and he says all of that with the most stoic face ever whilst the people around him give him a funny look. Very explicit thoughts and images intrude his mind in moments he least predicts them to and the more he tries to push them away, the more detailed they go on until his fantasies transform into physical signs that will give away what he is feeling at the moment. Secretively he is actually more nervous around you than he lets on and that has manifested itself into a terrible tendency of overthinking everything.
Barou Shoei
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🦁​If there is one thing that should be crystal clear to anyone as well as yourself in regards of Barou then it is that he is a guy who is excessively possessive. He doesn't share the ball when he is on court and strives to steal it back when someone does take it from him and this mindset can be translated to the way he considers things to work with his darling. Through that thick layer of possessive feelings still exists a deeply rooted awareness though about the nature of his feelings. As much of an egoist as Barou is, he is actually quite lucid about his feelings but has deemed them to simply be something that he won't care about. He pursues always what he wants and desires and this is the mindset that he stays in even when he falls in love with you. He wants you and he will get you and if some goody-two-shoes tries to get in his way because they think that he needs to br reminded that his feelings are bad he will crush them. As if he'd listen to someone with such a loser mindset.
🦁​Two other traits that stand out with Shoei can be pinpointed back to his perfecfectionistic personality, namely his obsessive fixation as well as his penchant to always have control of his surroundings as well as the people in it. He has a similar obsession to be in control with your environment and your life just as much. His rude and rough appearance may give off the impression that he would be neglectful when in fact Barou actually remembers a great deal about you if you tell him or if he finds it out through other ways. He remembers and that effort alone should already make him more deserving to hang out with you and claim your time than some of the other weaklings you instead choose to hang out with. Do they know after all the stuff that he knows of you? They certainly do not when he corners them and taunts them, though perhaps that is because the fear is messing with their brain when he towers over them with a menacing gleam in his eyes and a scowl on his face.
🦁​As someone who calls himself the "King" Barou still thinks of himself as better and stronger than most people as he will only begrudgingly pay respect if someone steals his spotlight and forces him to give up his way of playing. Your friends do not fulfill that criteria. Jealousy is not an emotion he is prone to feel as it is instead his possessive instinct acting up whenever you spend time with someone who isn't him. He dislikes the aspect of not having control of his environment and his life and you are already included as part of his life which is why this shouldn't happen. His appearance alone is already enough to make the average person shrink a few inches as soon as he storms over, his words condescending and mean as he stares down at them as if they are nothing but a slimy worm under the heel of his shoes. He doesn't take orders, not from you nor from anyone else. If he needs to remind everyone else and even you that you belong to him, he will do so until the message is understood.
🦁​His mere appearance and vibe alone is already deadly intimidating and for that enough to make people think twice when they see you in public with him accompanying you. You are someone that Barou treasures, someone that belongs to him. He'd hate for someone to think that they can just casually do what they want with you without paying a high price for it. As possessive as Barou is, he is just as much protected and if someone messes with you or is even the slightest inconvenience to you he is ready to charge at any time. He is a physical beast and even worst is that he is petty to anyone who has wronged you or made one wrong comment about you. You belong to him, you are someone he feels proud to have as his own so anything negative directed at you is indirectly an insult to his own ego and he will not stand still until that specific person who just had to get cocky has learned their lesson. Do not try to hold him back and do not even consider forgiving them. Even if you should, it wouldn't mean shit because he won't forgive them.
🦁​As a certified control freak you have the argument coming one way or another. He always needs to supervise his environment or else he will get irritated so the lack of supervision he has of you as long as you live more independently is something that becomes the biggest source of frustration. Despite what you may think though he is not just randomly abducting you. Barou has insane expectations for himself and works tirelessly to fulfill them. You won't just be thrown into a small and messy room. No, instead he cleans the entire place up and rearranges and even buys furniture and other stuff merely because he knows that you have it in your own home and enjoy it. First comes tidying the place up and only after that is done comes the abduction. Physically it is pretty easy for him to overpower you but he probably tries to knock you out beforehand since he fears that he may accidentally hurt you and frighten you even more if you squirm around too much.
🦁​In the strangest turn of events you find yourself surrounded by the man with the most aggressive househusband material ever. You fear aggressive screaming and domestic abuse for a while only to find him chastising you because you didn't clean your room properly and find him cleaning the mirror in the bathroom simply because dried splashes of water or toothpaste weren't cleaned properly. He does your laundry, your dishes and at one point you just find yourself sitting on the couch as he cleans everything himself because you never do it right. The refrigerator is always filled with all sorts of food and your sanitary products are always stocked in cupboards available for you which is why your initial fear gradually turns into flabbergasted confusion as you did not expect a man with an appearance as scary as Barou's to be so finicky when it comes to hygiene and cleanliness. You discover quickly that he is tame and relaxed as long as it is only the two of you and you behave yourself relatively but quickly turns into a lion who bares his teeth as soon as there are other people around you.
Chigiri Hyoma
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🦵​Chigiri can be a bit of a wild card as he tends to be moody and rather intense at times without any warning given beforehand which is why he is volatile, the worst thing someone harboring an obsession can have. It's not something he can necessarily fully control but that is mainly because initially he isn't even aware of the actual depth of his feelings that he has for you. He only has an inkling that he likes you and is self-assured enough to approach you in an attempt to get to know you better. He's easygoing yet a tad bit sassy, to the people around you more than he is to you but still, you quite like him. One of the earliest problems you have though is the fact that Chigiri cannot seem to leave you alone. He always follows you as soon as he spots you and sometimes you get almost a heart attack when you randomly turned around only to stare into his pink eyes only a few feet away from you. The look in his eyes is rather intense in such moments as if he was a red panther stalking his prey.
🦵​It is only after he snapped for the first time that he finally starts rethinking how he actually feels about you and that is when he finally seems to understands that his feelings go well beyond simply liking you. He loves you. It's that realisation that truly brings his obsessive character to light though as Chigiri remains delusional though. He does love you perhaps more than other people would and he would definitely be willing to do some things to ensure that you stay... But isn't that ultimately just a sign of his adoration and devotion? He's convinced that you will find no one who could love you and adore you as much as he does and it is this thought that makes him suddenly very active. You would make a grave mistake by not choosing him and he'd like to help you to avoid that mistake. Sometimes people have to do wrong things for the right reasons which is how he excuses his frequent guilt-tripping as well as his manipulative behavior. The knowledge of his love for you does bring the disadvantage that his grip on his moody behavior turns more unstable.
🦵​There is nothing that would expose his volatile mood to you more than his own jealousy. There may be certain triggers that set him off quicker but even if you avoid all of them you still haven't dodged the bullet. Worst of all is that it is so easy to get fooled by his initial facade. He appears so amicable at first even if he already shoots some sassy remarks out. It always happens so suddenly as the gleam in his eyes suddenly grows intense and he falls quiet, stepping back and isolating himself from the interaction all whilst pink eyes seem to stare into your soul as well as the people you are currently engaging with. He keeps out of the conversation for the entire rest until his eyes suddenly focus on the ground and he makes himself small and almost pitiful, forcing your attention back to him as you start worrying what is wrong and find yourself interrupting your conversation to ask what is wrong with him. He only gives you a lopsided grin every time and tells you to just return to your friends and forget about him, the sliver of resentment just about audible in his voice.
🦵​He is a victim. That is at least the way he always makes himself look like. It is as scary as it is admirable how easily lies fall from his lips as raindrops from the cloud and the worst part about it all is that he always speaks with such conviction and confidence as if his words were nothing but the unfiltered truth. Rumors arise as he skillfully starts gossiping and nudges things here and there to see it through that such talk escalates and soon frames a person who is not even guilty unless getting on his nerves would count as a crime. Chigiri has little to no qualms to crush people who anger and annoy him and he is an especially sensitive person when the people are too much involved with you. There is not even a distinction made between the people who are genuinely bad to you or the people he perceives as rivals and threats. The end result is going to be the same and there is nothing they can can do against it as it is hard to see the beginning and the end of the rumors and lies at one point as Chigiri uses tension to stir the conflicts and arguments.
🦵​You can't recall that he ever brought up the topic of moving in which is why you are so surprised when he one day spontaneously mentions the idea to you. You may still think that it is a bit too early to consider such a big decision but you are left quite stunned and surprised when Hyoma suddenly starts acting miffed and claims that you told him otherwise the last time. What does he mean with last time? You're pretty sure that this is the first time you have heard him talking with you about this topic. Both of you get into an argument but you find your own confidence wavering a bit due to the confidence in his voice. Is it possible that you forgot that he asked you before? Just as Chigiri notices the slight hesitation in your eyes he sees the chance to use your crumbling confidence to his advantage. He switches his facade to a bitter and resentful appearance, turns away from you and talks in a hurt tone that he understands the message. You don't want to live with him anymore. He storms away, just fast enough for you to be barely able to catch up and he has to bite his tongue to hide the victorious grin when he hears you calling after him.
🦵​You do not know when it happened but the web of lies at one point gets hard to navigate through as you as well as other people get trapped in it and fights and arguments ensure left and right. It is quite heart-breaking as bonds shatter under the weight of accusations and lies. Hyoma stays with you and comforts you through it whilst subtly suggesting that if you relationship with them wasn't strong enough to survive this than perhaps you weren't as important to them and vice versa as you thought. He attempts to help you to forget about them as he visits you a lot, wanting to fill your time and your mind with only him. You snap at him accidentally one time due to your anger only to regret it severely afterwards as he immediately sets off without any warning. He accuses you of not appreciating him even with all that he has done for you, even sheds some tears until you hastily calm him down, apologise and reassure him that he means a lot to you. You're the only person allowed to touch and play with his hair and he even seeks your time and attention as he comes without a doubt every morning to you and asks you to brush his hair.
Bachira Meguru
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💛​Bachira's eccentric personality is what makes him scary and even more unpredictable than Chigiri. He's crazy for real and that is the impression he gives you from the very start. The interest in you is there almost upon first glance as something about you just seems to intrigue the young man and with no concept of boundaries he instantly seeks you out and follows you around. He bothers you and gets in your way all because he wants to find out more about you and wants to get closer to you. His clingy behavior is fueled by two main factors. One of them is a fear to be left alone, a familiar fear that has been installed into him ever since other children started avoiding him due to his unique personality. The other one is his rapidly evolving obsession that desires to always stay with you and have your attention. The rapid decrease in respect of privacy turns gradually worse as he isn't afraid to touch you, hug you or even kiss you despite your clarification that the two of you are not a thing. Bachira doesn't seem to listen to you as he continues anyways and so seemingly especially much when there are people around.
💛​There is a clear lack of consideration and worries he shows in regards to your own feelings. He has always shown his optimism and enthusiasm and those are the characteristics that end up being solely responsible for his damaging delusional streak. He is confident that you will eventually realise your own feelings for him and will then forgive him anyways for all of his clinginess and the anger he has caused you to feel. It is because of this that you should avoid under all means necessary showing him too much consideration and kindness as this will quickly be something he mistakes for your own growing feelings for him. If stuff of yours goes missing, Meguru should be your first and only suspect. He's sulking the moment he can't see you and to mend his longing for you until he sees you again he needs something to cheer himself up with. What could be better than something that belongs to you? The worst of it all is that he is not ashamed of admitting it to you if you were to ask him as he hands whatever he has stolen from you back to you right after with a big grin, thanking you for lending it to him and that he doesn't need it anymore now that you are here.
💛​One minute. That is sometimes all that you are begging him to give you yet Bachira is unable to stand still and remain silent as soon as your attention is not on him. It's like there is a terrible itch within him as soon as he sees how your whole focus is on someone that isn't him and he instantly feels the urge to fix that. It just doesn't feel right when your eyes aren't on him. He is already pouting by the time he pushes the other people away so that he is in your field of vision, whinging about how much he hates it when you aren't focused on him and that he wants to do something with you. He completely ignores anyone else but you and pretends as if they don't exist. At least until the very person he has been ignoring up until now suddenly has to interfere again which is when he finally turns his attention to them. A lopsided grin is on his face, a bright gleam in his eyes which does not fit the condescending insults leaving his lips all of a sudden. He must be the most cheerful bully to ever exist as he does not let loose until they are gone as not even you are unable to stop him.
💛​As time passes he only seems to prove to you more and more that he is indeed a cheerful bully who won't stop until someone has completely disappeared from his sight. Anyone who may threaten to steal you away from him is perceived as a threat from his side and everyone will undergo equal treatment of bullying. What makes it all so terrifying is the fact that Bachira never loses that smile of his even if he bluntly threatens someone and it is when you witness this the first time that you finally confirm that he is indeed batshit crazy. If you ignore his warnings or the other person ignores his warnings and he still finds them spending time with you, he gets a lot more malicious with his actions. He pushes them around, trips them up, pours his drinks over them and does every other petty action the heaven knows about until the other person is fed up and finally starts avoiding you. He doesn't even hide his elation he feels as soon as they are finally out of the picture.
💛​We're talking about someone who has almost tried to break into your house a couple of times before, jolting at the doorknob all whilst requesting cheerfully to be let inside because he's missing you. If Bachira would have it his way the both of you would already live together and share a bed with you. He can envision it all so well after all and in his mind it would be nothing short of bliss for the both of you. You do not seem to think the same way though and it confuses and upsets him greatly. He's constantly pestering you about it, wanting to know why you object so profoundly to the idea of living together with him. As if trying to convince you that there would only be benefits he suddenly buys you lots of little gifts and presents which you all reject or instantly send back to him. By now you know better than to encourage his delusional behavior. What you did not see coming though is his emotional breakdown as his optimism crumbles for a while and you are left with him bawling like a small child, contrasting the tight grip he has on you as he begs and pleads for you to just stop being so stubborn. He knows you love him. You just need to give him the chance to help you to realise that.
💛​Sometimes it appears like he can't survive without your attention and coupled with his shamelessness you are in for one exhausting time. He has sat down on your lap at times when you were busy with something else, a pout on his lips and his arms wrapped around your neck as he tried to get your attention back on him. Completely fine walking around naked and unashamed to walk in whilst you are naked as well. You will know no peace during the day as Meguru will always preoccupy you and claim all of your time for himself. He drags you around outside for fun dates, has one idea he wants to do before deciding on the way to the location that he wants to do something else and then walks all the way back. Wants you to wear your clothes and wears yours as well, doesn't matter if you should be smaller than him or bigger than him. He's literally like a leech that is persistently clinging to you and sucks you dry of all the attention you can give him, only that he never separates from you as he smothers you in affection.
Nagi Seishiro
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🤍​Nagi is probably going to be a unique case since he is someone who doesn't like bothering with things to the point where he doesn't even want to think about them if it's too much of a hassle for him. This lack of motivation is going to bite him back later though. Your presence is unavoidable as you even seem to occupy his mind when he isn't physically anywhere near you. You're there when he watches videos on his phone, when he plays a game or reads manga online. It is a steadily expanding presence you claim in his head and one he can't flee from no matter what. Far too bothersome is what it is though as his mind doesn't want to shut up about you and he can't properly relax due to it. He'd be lying if he were to say that it doesn't annoy him and whilst he wouldn't openly start a fight with you as it would require too much effort, he does antagonise you silently from a distance as you disturb his peace. At least he thinks that this is what he is doing when he always stares at you from the distance or even occasionally bothers to trail lazily behind you.
🤍​The feeling of loss is what is needed to finally motivate him to become more active. An indescribable feeling of frustration and loss is what forces him to do the unthinkable and actually think more about how he truly feels about you. He doesn't like seeing you being so cozy and comfortable around other people. He doesn't like others approaching you with a stupid grin on their face. He likes watching you... He loves you. Nagi stops thinking more about it as soon as he has arrived at this conclusion because he sees no more need to give his feelings more thoughts than this. He loves you and there is nothing more to it and it is this mindset that never allows him to ever realise that his feelings aren't exactly considered the norm. Now that he knows that he loves you though he becomes instantly clingy and possessive. It would be such a bother to properly court you and fight against other people so in an attempt to avoid all of that he starts treating you like you are already his darling. He follows you around, lays his head down in your lap and just tells you to not fight or act up as this would require him to take action.
🤍​Jealousy is bothersome. It has his thoughts going crazy and his emotions tumbling around inside of him. He doesn't find any peace when he feels jealous and for that jealousy must be avoided so he can continue living his lazy comfort life. For that to happen he needs to keep you with him as jealousy normally only happens when you are around other people. Seishiro tries to isolate you more in order to keep on living the way he wants to live and since he is a very introverted soul, you can say goodbye to your social life. If he isn't quick enough to whisk you away he finds himself standing a few feet away behind you for a few minutes all whilst you can feel his gaze drilling through your build. It is slightly creepy but still bearable until he begrudgingly decides that he has to do something. He slowly creeps up on you before he suddenly clings to your back like a koala, not letting go as he starts walking backwards and tugging you away from the other people. If the other people try to stop him he tends to be somewhat irritated and tells them off quickly.
🤍​People tend to gossip about him since he spends most of his time by himself and he didn't have anyone he would call a friend until Reo came along. What other people think of him is none of his concern as he doesn't have to get worked up over something like they obviously do. His unbothered life changes though because of you. He's more motivated with you around, even if just a tiny bit. Unfortunately that means that emotions such as annoyance and irritation haunt him easier when it is anything that involves you. Sure, it's going to require work to deal with people but Nagi knows that he would be far more stressed out if he would do nothing and just sit back. Ironically enough you always think that he doesn't care when someone bothers you and you tell him about it, in fact you have gotten quite angry with him due to your misconception at times. Yet only a few days later the very same person who made you anxious and sad avoids you all of a sudden as if you were a contagious illness. At least they got the message when Seishiro threatened them the first time. It would have been so bothersome to go further than that after all...
🤍​With his lazy and unmotivated mannerism it is no surprise that an actual abduction wouldn't be something that Nagi would consider all too often. He does live by himself since his parents travel a lot but he barely manages to look out for himself since he has a hard time separating from his phone and doing his work. Taking additional care of you would be double the work and he is aware of that. At the same time he does like spending his time with you, especially since there is no one around who might threaten to tear the peace between the two of you apart. Chances are that his lethargic attitude is something that concerns you slightly and leads you to look out for him more out of concern that he may seriously forget to look after himself. If that should be the case it is something that Seishiro learns to use to his advantage to get more of your time and attention for himself. As lazy as he is you also learn the one or other thing about how to successfully bribe him to look out for himself more. Threatening him to spend less time with him is something that does seem to work rather well as you figure out over time.
🤍​You obviously get to know Reo as well as soon as Nagi starts hanging out with you. Initially the purple-haired boy seems to be iffy about you and it doesn't look like he likes you a lot since you steal Nagi away from him but if he should antagonise you too much it is surprisingly Nagi who suddenly stands up for you and tells his friend bluntly off. The sometimes excessive laziness of Nagi can be either a curse or a blessing if you learn how to properly use it. On the one hand he often doesn't want to bother to let you go because he might find you in a situation again that would force him to think and get active again but on the other hand at times you can also use it to steer him a bit. As addicted to his phone as he is at times, Nagi is quite the respectable collection of pictures from you that he has snapped over time. In over half of them you weren't even aware that he was snapping them but now that he has made them anyways it would be a bother to delete them all again.
Isagi Yoichi
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💙​Rather unsuspecting to the untrained eye, Isagi is not the individual you would deem as the most intimidating nor threatening if you were to put him next to some of the other players in Blue Lock. You do not suspect him for anything either when you get to know him as he appears as a rather simple and innocent boy. What you miss about him though whenever you interact with him are those blue eyes analysing you and greedily taking in every little gesture and movement of yours. Playing in Blue Lock has taught Isagi to always analyse and read his opponents, to understand their pattern and this is something he does with you just as much. What is even more worrying is his willingness to adapt parts of his own personality if he figures out what you look for in a partner. He isn't simply copying though, he fully adapts and makes it his own which is perhaps much more frightening as he continuously reshapes himself without losing his core. He is still himself even if he tears himself apart and reimagines himself.
💙​He is much more on an obsessive scale than you would ever imagine. He needs more information about you, needs to understand you better and better or else he would feel like a failure and couldn'r rest properly. For that reason he stalks you, aware that you won't tell him everything about you since the both of you aren't that close yet. The knowledge that you probably hide things from him is something that silently torments even if he still understands that he would do the same if the tables were turned. In regards to how lucid Yoichi actually is about his own feelings I'd probably put him in the middle and label him as someone who is semi-delusional. Isagi is driven by his ego like most people are in Blue Lock and this drive is what pushes him to indulge in his possessive and obsessive feelings yet at the same time he can snap out of this mindset for a while and simmer in his own shame when he actually holds on for a while and realises just how disturbing and creepy he is acting. It's obvious what would happen if you were to find out about it and he also isn't delusional enough to mistake politness and kindness as signs of romantic affection from your side.
💙​His ego aside Isagi is still one of the more capable people to deal with jealous for a while even if he doesn't like being ignored. He feels normally quite reassured to let you hang out with people but it has to be admitted that this isn't because he just blindly trusts you nor them. No, it is because he has also stalked your friends and gotten to know them better and has arrived at the conclusion that they do not feel anything remotely romantic for you and it is the same case in regards to how you think about them. Isagi pays a ridiculous amount of attention to body language to the point where he becomes quite good in noticing small habits and gestures that would tell him that there are more feelings involved than admitted. It is when he knows that an interest is involved that he gets more uneasy. He sticks closer, blue eyes barely blinking as he seems to try to read the soul of a person. He starts fidgeting around, gets increasingly uncomfortable and anxious as the minutes pass until he can't hold himself back anymore and steps in. He seems for a good few seconds unsure and embarrassed as all attention is suddenly on him before he regains his composure and tries to end the conversation.
💙​Normally he is the peacemaker even amongst the people in Blue Lock but he has gotten a lot more ruthless as time passes. Still though, he tries to act somewhat normal and warn someone if they have gotten on his nerves and he has started considering them as someone that he might have to get rid off. It is when his warning isn't headed that all sympathy just drops as everything that will happen from now on is going to be their fault due to their ignorance. Isagi manipulates and he blackmails as well, playing around someone to use and confuse them. Calculated and ambitious with his approach, he is frighteningly meticulous as he creates a strategy to remove someone from the picture. He doesn't mind stomping on their dreams and leaving a permanent hole in their life as a result of his actions and he doesn't stop to consider it either. Perhaps because unconsciously he knows that if he were to hold on for a minute and think about it, he would feel the same fright upon noticing what he is doing once more.
💙​There is still a thin line that he seems to separate, one that he would greatly hesitate to overstep even if he is partially delusional. He can and will step over other people if it is needed but he finds himself pausing when it comes to ignoring even your own dreams to achieve his own goals. He loves to see you happy, loves to see your smile and to hear your laughter and he is afraid that it would all turn into tears if he were to mess up and take it too far until even you realise just what he has been doing the entire time. That is why he does his best to find ways to work around the scenario where he would have to kidnap you and as long as he can still see paths that lead elsewhere, he will take them. It is only when he is unable to find any other routes and can't create a path either that he finds himself marching down the only way left with a heavy heart. This could make or break the relationship depending on how well you handle the situation as he might potentially break if your feelings for him would turn into hatred and resentment or, potentially the worst, if you were to treat him like he is nonexistent.
💙​A sucker for praise from his darling, Yoichi is not above making a fool out of himself to please you and be praised by you. It is possible to have a relationship with him that looks normal to the oblivious eyes if you handle him right. If everything works seamlessly Isagi is basically the equivalent of an eager puppy who wants to be called a "good boy" from you and will try everything to keep you happy as long as it doesn't involve parting from you. At the same time he never drops his calculated and analytical observations though as he always needs to have a good overview of his environment and all the players in it, a mindset that he not only uses when on the court but also in his daily life. Subtle manipulation is a common habit of his though he tries to justify it by seeing it as a method to avoid an escalation which would require him to do potentially worse things. And if you don't know about it, you won't be able to get mad at him either. So is it really something bad if you are neither aware of it nor will suffer any lasting consequences?
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sk3tch404 · 3 months ago
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Yandere Weeping Clown Thoughts!!
CW: Nothing too bad, just your usual creeper, manipulation, and analysis(?) on his character. Tbh hes so yandere coded that everything blurs together atp (and I'm using "yandere coded" sort of loosely bc that makes me sound like a yandere enabler or smth, which like, lol no but in fiction yeah funne). Called him Joker bc it was easier to use/remember than Weepy, and also bc they called them that in all the lore drop so 🤷‍♀️
A/n: Just saw the new Hullabaloo lore drop and IDV has taken me back into its clutches. He is so yandere material 🫶 Proof read enough to go "that's postable."
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Joker is quite sensitive to his darlings perception of him. He always tries to do the right thing, tries to please you so that when you smile at him, that strangely unfamiliar warmth spreads through his chest. A smile tugging on the corners of his mouth, stringing his lips up as if he were a puppet. And a puppet of your design he shall be if you wished it so.
Joker is definitely a worshipping sort of yandere. He'll do most of anything for his darling if it made them just a teeny bit closer. Any progress is better than no progress. Even if it means visiting you in the dead of night to "check on you," or often "bumping into you" in places that you frequent at the manor. He'll stop bothering you if you reject his advances, but he'll come back around sooner or later. Joker doesn't want you to hate him, but he also doesn't want to be away from you! Although you may say some hurtful things like, "It's making me uncomfortable, sorry," or, "Can you leave me alone for a while," he knows deep down that if he teeters around the boundaries you set for long enough, he can wiggle his way through and to your heart. At least, that's what he hopes.
Despite his subservient nature to his darling, Joker isn't so obedient around others. He has his more introverted traits for sure, but his sensitivity to anger is fragile, especially when it comes to you. Joker doesn't have many qualms about taking a stand for you or himself if it came to it. He wants to be your protector, so he isn't very afraid to say something if he feels the need to. It can become quite the scene if the other party doesn't back down, making either you or someone else the mediator of the debacle. It's exhausting to have to manage your persistent follower, but it's better to handle a situation rather than let it spiral out of control, leaving the consequences of his mental break to you.
With his fragility also comes his keen eye for any chances to take advantage of a situation. Joker isn't very intimidating physically or feared for being calculating, but he is usually dismissed, and that makes for perfect cover if he plays his cards right. Framing people for his crimes can be a walk in the park depending on the situation, and manipulating those weaker than him isn't something he wholeheartedly takes pride in, but if it's for you, if it's for you, the singular most important person and one he adores most in his rotten life, then he's happy to oblige. If it wins you over in the end, then that's all that matters, right?
Joker will try to convince his darling to stay by his side and will get more desperate depending on the circumstances. He's not a kidnapper type, more of an idealist. Not to confuse that with delusional though. Joker knows full well how you probably feel about your strained relationship, but if he doesn't try now, he'll never get to be with you, and that's unacceptable. He wants to live a romantic and sweet life with you day in and day out, so he'd hate to see you miserable and locked up. If he can't love you the way he wants to, then what would be the point?
Even with that, Joker isn't above guilt tripping or petty manipulation tactics like that. He really can be unpredictable at times and can become very dangerous if his darling constantly shows no interest. Although he is a romantic idealist in his mind with you, he's also the type to slip into the "if I can't have you, no one can" mentality. He might just end up hurting his darling, but it won't be anything too drastic by the time it happens. Joker would feel terrible, terrified, and utterly disgusted with himself after seeing your petrified state. He'd drop to his knees and attempt to mutter consoling words, somewhat even begging for your forgiveness.
"Y- Y/n, no, oh no, no... Y/n, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please. Don't cry, I didn't mean to. I truly am sorry. I had just- I wasn't thinking straight. I would never hurt you. If only you hadn't done this, then... No, just come back to me Y/n."
He is still quite demanding even while apologizing, which would make your fear even greater. Joker doesn't want to force his darling's hand, but if it really came down to it, he'd give his darling a grade A verbally manipulative beat down. He'll use anything and everything against you so that all else but him looks ugly in that moment. Sure being at the receiving end of his unstable anger was horrifying, but be honest with yourself, were it not for him who has saved you countless times in both matches and inside the manor, you would be long dead by now. Anything is on the table, anything just so you will come back to him once more. He has little to no guilt in it, just the fear that he will seriously break if you're still in a right state of mind. So, in turn, he'll unfortunately have to break you first.
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suguru-getos · 1 year ago
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| Yandere Gojo Satoru x F!Reader | Axphyxiation |
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A/N: The yandere in me has risen from the dead. Read this at your own discretion, Satoru is a manipulative, dangerous, abusive asshole here. Mentions of guilt-tripping, dub-con (doesn’t happen but mentions), belittling, comforting, gentle-talking.
Normally, on a normal day, you’d have the right to be livid, to scream out and throw a tantrum over Satoru’s antics whenever you wanted. It would usually go unnoticed, even catered to if he’s feeling nice. Not today…
“Being a little too bratty are we, Princess?” There was a greyish hue of rage in his sky blues. All, because of you. He would make sure you realize it. You’d cower in fear of him in times like these, breaking down into choking sobs and mumbling apologies for pissing off the ‘Honored one’.
“I swear, I didn’t—” You tried to defend yourself, before the glass window behind you cracked, breaking into shatters as you flinched. A reminder to not piss off Gojo Satoru right now. Your heart raced at the situation you were in. Kneeling in front of him like a guilty prisoner, not daring to look up. Anxiety being the only thing hugging you right now.
“Why did you think it would be nice to ask for Megumi’s phone?” Satoru spoke… almost dazed, still controlling the immense rage that he felt. At times like these, you, a mere non-sorcerer feels a pang of pressure in the atmosphere. As if it was hard to exist, as if it was hard to breathe. It was Satoru’s cursed energy going haywire.
“I wan-wanted to ask for, something.” You were slowly getting broken by this. Yes, you had asked Megumi to give his phone to you, a pathetic attempt to contact your friends. You couldn’t risk contacting your family or Satoru’s rage would pave way in a direction you’d dread more. You just missed them… you aren’t delusional enough to think they had the chance to rescue you after all.
“Ask for what, hmm?” Satoru tilted your chin up, your eyes meeting his harsh, unforgiving ones. He looked dramatically betrayed at your antics, while a choked sigh escaped you. “Just- just missed my friends, Toru.” You had been carefully calibrating this reply. Squeeze his nickname in with the truth. There— that’d make him… less dramatic. Or, that’s what you prayed & hoped for.
“Just- missed my friends, Toru.” He mocked you, mimicking your tone and his hand rested onto your neck, slightly choking. A grim reminder of what he can do to you but chooses not to. Tears well up in your eyes as you looked at him, silently praying for this to end.
“Am I not enough?” His voice rose, almost tediously high. You closed your eyes, bracing yourself for what’s to come. “Please- Satoru.”
“I asked you a question, cupcake.” He chided you, as if he is shutting a brat up who was hell bent on throwing a tantrum. “I asked you something and I need an answer.”
You had to be really, really careful with this one. You mumbled, hands shivery and jittery. There have been times he’s locked you up, just so you miss him. Maybe decided to use your cunt with his fingers just so you’d embarrass yourself cumming over and over and he could taunt you for being a needy slut for him. You didn’t want that… “You are important.”
Your answer squinted Satoru’s eyes, thin ice….
“You are, enough. You are a friend to me, too. S’ just that sometimes I wish to know how they’re doin’ that’s it.” You were internally panicking. Satoru didn’t do anything to you until now but it was the ‘what he could do’ that made you nervous. Satoru wasn’t delusional, he knew you were being calculating and didn’t want to piss him off. However, he was fine as long as you tried to be in his good books. He liked feeling important.
“I see, then should’a just asked Daddy, eh?” He quirked a brow, another question for you to duck.
You decided to accept your mistake like his ‘good little girl’ nodding and looking down, looking oh-so-cute with the guilt laced on your features. “Sorry, Daddy.”
Oh it warms his heart up when his Princess tries to be good for him. Tries to win his heart & suppress his rage. “My baby’s apologetic?” He cooed, kissing your forehead softly, while you nodded like a bobble-head; almost reflexively.
“I see, I see… what’s my baby gonna do to make it up to Daddy?” A smug grin plastered over his features. You were so naive he had you exactly where he wanted you to be. Expressions all knowing & dreading the impending doom, you looked up at him and bit your lip. The bile rising in your throat with anxiety.
“Whatever- whatever you want.” You wanted to make this easy on yourself. Better to have him throw words at you and comply. Satoru… was more twisted than that. “Nuh uh… gonna have to see what you would do on your own to make it up to me.”
You bit your lip, knowing exactly the answer he wanted. “Daddy can make love to me.” You uttered brilliantly, his eyes growing more tender. Satoru never, ever, forced himself on you. It was somehow, you, always begging, crying apologetically even— tormented in situations which hugged you like spiderwebs, with no escape wherein you’d do nothing more than to surrender. That’s what Gojo Satoru does…
“Oh really?” He almost scoffed, clicking his tongue. “Daddy’ll make you feel good after you committed a mistake?” He would also make it seem like everything he does is for your pleasure— there are days you believe it, there are days you dread it.
“Sorry.” A stray tear escaped you, it was as if you were being pulled apart with no defenses. “Please, I just— if you want I won’t cum.” Aww— his pathetic, little, dumb, princess.
“Perfect.” Now he has you where he wants.
“Then gonna be my pretty, precious lil cocksleeve yeah?” Satoru asked you once more, feigning the opportunity for you to say no. You nodded, almost gracefully in defeat.
“That’s my good girl.”
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mysticalstuff · 2 months ago
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Yandere! Ohshc Headcanons!
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Tamaki (Aka Delusional & Possessive):
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🎀💖😭💢: Tamaki’s yandere side would be over exceedingly dramatic and somewhat emotionally volatile. He would treat his partner like a fragile treasure, constantly showering them with affection but also becoming jealous and explosive when other people take their attention from him.
🎀💖😭💢: Tamaki would definitely be the type to shower his partner with grandiose declarations of love and do everything to make sure no one else even looks at them. He would overreact if they showed interest in anyone else, often crying or becoming angry and irrational.
🎀💖😭💢: Tamaki’s yandere tendencies most likely would lead to emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, and maybe even keeping his partner in a sort of emotional (or literal) "cage," convincing them they’re not safe anywhere except with him.
🎀💖😭💢: "Who was that person? Why were you smiling at them? Were you thinking about them when I was talking to you?" (Dramatically throws himself on the ground, hands clutching his chest.)
Kyoya (Aka Calculating & Controlling):
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🖤🧠🔐📊: Kyoya, ever the calculating and strategic individual, would treat his partner as a prized possession. He would methodically ensure that they only have eyes for him, often using his intelligence to manipulate situations in his favor.
🖤🧠🔐📊: Kyoya would control all aspects of his partner’s life, from their schedule to who they interact with. He would make them feel as though they owe him everything for the "privilege" of being with him. Kyoya would subtly gaslight his partner into feeling as though they're nothing without him.
🖤🧠🔐📊: His manipulation would be extremely subtle, using logic and charm to isolate his partner from everyone else. He could create a perfect, "safe" world for them- one in which they are entirely dependent on him.
🖤🧠🔐📊: "I did this all for you, remember? I don’t need to explain why you should only be with me—just trust me." (His tone calculated, as if part of a plan.)
Haruhi (Aka Loyal & Manipulative):
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☕️❤️🤫🔐: Haruhi would still be the calm and level-headed person she is, but with a side of possessive. She might hide her possessiveness behind a facade of sweetness, but deep down, Haruhi would become increasingly jealous of any attention directed toward her significant other, even from their closest friends.
☕️❤️🤫🔒: She’d keep track of her partner’s every move and would be extremely protective, warning off anyone who gets too close. Haruhi might pretend to be nonchalant, but she'd subtly manipulate situations to keep her partner isolated, ensuring that they always depend on her.
☕️❤️🤫🔒: Haruhi could be the type to act like nothing’s wrong, but in private, she'd be deeply possessive, possibly stalking her partner and subtly sabotaging friendships.
☕️❤️🤫🔒: “If you don’t want to upset me, it’s best if you keep your distance from them. I know what's best for you, after all."
Hikaru & Kaoru (Aka Jealous & Rivalrous):
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👥💘🤯💥: The twins’ yandere behavior would be inextricably linked, with them both vying for their partner’s attention. They would share an obsessive bond, and their possessiveness would turn into a twisted form of rivalry — trying to outdo one another for their partner's affections, but also trying to keep them isolated from others.
👥💘🤯💥: Both would take turns being excessively sweet and doting, but their jealousy would manifest in disturbing ways. They might play mind games, making their partner feel guilty or confused about which twin they like more. They would constantly monitor their partner’s interactions with others, growing more possessive and territorial.
👥💘🤯💥: Hikaru and Kaoru might escalate into subtle manipulations and gaslighting, as they use their twin bond to make their partner feel like they are always being watched and controlled. The jealousy between them could also lead to possessive outbursts.
👥💘🤯💥: "You know you love me more than him, don’t you? It doesn’t matter, you know you can’t escape us."
Honey (Aka Cutesy & Clingy):
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🍯🐰💞😡: Honey would still maintain his innocent, sweet exterior, but his yandere tendencies would be hidden behind a facade of cute behavior. He would become overly attached and show obsessive affection toward his partner, often clinging to them and becoming upset if they show attention to anyone else.
🍯🐰💞😡: His possessiveness would manifest in a subtle, almost childlike way, but with intense emotional reactions if his partner even speaks to another person. Honey might act "cute" to draw them in, but if he feels threatened, he could become possessive and fiercely protective.
🍯🐰💞😡: Honey’s obsession might be shown in bursts of violence or extreme jealousy, though he'd be more likely to act out in ways that seem harmless on the surface, such as demanding constant attention or pouting when he doesn’t get his way. He could also use his adorable “Lolita” charm to manipulate his partner emotionally.
🍯🐰💞😡: “You shouldn’t be talking to anyone else. I don’t like it when you smile at them like that. They’re not me." (His small voice wavers with tension as his hold tightens.)
Mori (Aka Silent & Protective):
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😶🦁🔪👀: Mori’s yandere side would be less obvious but no less dangerous. His stoic and calm demeanor would hide a fierce possessiveness and a deep, obsessive attachment to his partner. He would be protective to an extreme, often silently following them or keeping them away from others.
😶🦁🔪👀: Mori wouldn’t express his feelings openly like the others, but he would become silently enraged if someone else tried to get close to his partner. His jealousy would be subtle but unmistakable in the way he silently keeps his distance from others and makes sure they know who his partner belongs to.
😶🦁🔪👀: Mori would be the type to silently manipulate situations to isolate his partner, slowly becoming more controlling while never raising his voice or showing overt anger. His silent treatment would be his weapon, and if pushed too far, he might use physical intimidation to assert control.
😶🦁🔪👀: "If anyone dares get too close to you, they’ll regret it. No one touches what’s mine." (His words are delivered quietly, with an unshakable sense of control.)
A/n: So sorry for the 4 month-long hiatus!! But I’m back!!
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starkissedmallow · 19 days ago
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Yandere! MHA Boys HC’s pt. 1
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IZUKU MIDORIYA-
- Deku’s admiration for you would turn into an unhealthy obsession with you
- He would write detailed notes about you like what he does with heroes, writing down all of your likes and dislikes
- Deku would follow you discreetly to ensure that you were safe
- His desire to protect you would be on the border of stalking
- Deku would use the knowledge of your weaknesses, to manipulate you to make you rely on him more
- He would go to extreme lengths to prove his love for you, even if it means going to extreme lengths
KATSUKI BAKUGOU-
- Bakugou would be very aggressively and intensely possessive of you
- He would make it clear that you belong to him and no one else needs to be involved with you
- He would use intimidation to keep others at bay, ensuring that no one will approach you
- Bakugou’s protective nature is aggressive and he’s quick to confront anyone that he thinks is threatening your safety
- His emotions would be explosive, with many angry and jealous outbursts, but he would also show you intense affection and vulnerability
EIJIRO KIRISHIMA-
- Eijiro’s loyalty is what becomes his obsession
- He is always putting your needs before his in every situation
- Eijiro is constantly by your side, ensuring that you’re never alone
- His presence is comforting but also suffocating at times
- Eijiro uses his strength to physically protect you even if he needs to use violence to keep you safe
- His affectionate nature is overwhelming and he would use it to his advantage to subtly control you
- By making you guilty for wanting space or independence
SHOTO TODOROKI-
- Shoto is very cold and calculated
- He would plan every move meticulously to make sure you were always by his side
- Shoto isolates you emotionally, making you feel like he’s the only one that understands you
- Shoto is protective but detached at the same time
- He uses his powers to eliminate any threats but without showing any emotion
- Shoto’s manipulation tactics are subtle, making you think that you need him to be happy, and that his actions are for your own good
DENKI KAMINARI-
- Denki manifests his Yandere side through clinging to you
- He wants to be with you all the time because he fears that you’ll leave him
- Denki frequently has jealous outbursts and gets upsets when you interact with others
- He uses his playful nature to manipulate you into guilt tripping you for wanting to be away from him
- Denki uses his quirk to protect you and isn’t afraid to electrocute anyone who stands between him and his beloved
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shyamanuensis · 23 days ago
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toxic!headcanon
I've had this come through as a request a fair number of times now and while I'm not condoning the romanticizing of this kind of behaviour; I though i'd give it a whirl. enjoy. mdni xo
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toxic!garreth who feels his mouth run dry when you even mention the name of another boy. at first, you thought it was cute - this little jealousy streak he had; but it soon became very apparent that he's not afraid to remind you that you're his and his alone. the subtle way he painfully digs his fingertips into your hips when he's standing with you when a name he isn't fond of crops up into conversation; or the way his teeth grind as he grits them together, the sound causing your spine to straighten uncomfortably. subtle moves; barely there but that you've come to recognize.
toxic!garreth that isn't above using his connections via school faculty to find out personal information about you for control and manipulation rather than anything else. does he care that you're a virgo now that he's discovered your birthday? hell no - but will he research what the traits and weaknesses of virgo are to get under your skin? oh absolutely. to put the icing on the cake with this, he's also the kind of guy for a backhanded compliment. you're feeling particularly good about how you look? eh, you won't get a compliment; he'll point out how poppy sweeting is looking rather delicious today in front of you instead.
contrary to popular believe with those who know him, toxic!garreth isn't against blackmail to get his way although it's dressed as playful curiosity and persuasiveness. those sweet smirks and that oh so childish laughter he's known for - it might fool everybody else but no longer fools you yet you stupidly fall for it every, single, freaking time.
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toxic!ominis who isn't keen on having you visit him at his dorm because its his safe haven and if you're there it means he can't just up and leave when he feels like it. your dorm though - oh that's a totally different story. he's eager to ensure that you're satisfactorily taken care of within the comfort of the curtains on your four-post bed and definitely, do not expect him to be laying beside you when you wake up in the morning after a night of rather rough rendezvous.
creative points for toxic!ominis who's managed to create a tracking spell that highlights on an enchanted map of the castle your location. every step you take he's aware and monitoring. "what were you doing down in the greenhouses last night at 11pm after curfew? meeting someone?" what follows this? guilt trips. guilt trips which have you near begging for his attention and forgiveness although you don't quite know what you've done wrong.
toxic!ominis that knows you can't say no to a pretty gift because they were something you were denied by family and as such; he can buy his way back into your life every single time something goes even slightly askew. you tell him that you need to take a break - there's a tennis bracelet on your bedside table; you have an argument - flowers and a teddy bear waiting on your bed, you two have a disagreement - the latest book in the series that you're reading. you know better than to let ominis buy his way back into your life, but a part of you, enjoys being spoiled.
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toxic!sebastian who is clever, cunning and calculating so you barely notice the red flags he presents until it's blindingly obvious and right in front of your face. his charm and charisma though have literally the entire female cohort of students at the castle under a spell - to them he's the epitome of a perfect boyfriend, you though; know better than to fall for him although you do again and again and again.
toxic!sebastian who isn't opposed to marking you to let every other guy know that you belong to someone. at first it was just scattered hickey's and those oh so frustrating pinch marks that he painted as tiny little hearts across your skin - but recently it had become a little more reckless. you were forced to wear your hair down because of how the back of your neck looked painted in bruised bites. buttons done up on your shirt all the way to the double at the top of your collar because of the intimate artwork he'd sprawled across your chest as his personal canvas and those nips he'd paint along the inside of your thighs - forever multiplying.
"i saw the way you couldn't keep your eyes off me all night - even while you were making out with your little boyfriend. imaging it was me instead huh?" toxic!sebastian cornering you at the end of a party just as you think you're in the clear and whispering those words to you, caging you against a wall with a hand on either side of your head; his knee stubborn enough to force its way between your legs, his lips hot against the sensitive skin of your neck as he forces the thought of the two of you into your head. yeah, it was true - you were definitely thinking about him when you shouldn't have been but fuck - with how he's going to push your buttons tonight; you almost feel sorry for your boyfriend.
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lichilly · 8 months ago
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cw manipulation, guilt-tripping, jack comforting you in a manipulative way (he just wants what's best for you........), gender-neutral reader
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I keep imagining the smile on Jack’s face when you come crawling back to him after snapping at him. It had been a rough day at work, and you didn’t mean to let your anger get the best of you.
You look so small, arms crossed over your chest in a self-hug as you shuffled towards him, not being able to look him fully in the eye. Hot tears slipped down your cheeks with each sniffle and hiccup that left you. He opens his arms,
“C'mere, Sunshine,”
You immediately fall into his arms, tears free-flowing as you sob into his chest. You mumble apologies into his shirt, whimpering that you didn’t mean to be so mean. His hands move in soothing patterns across your back, each stroke calculated to ease your tension. He’d pet your head, brushing hair away from your overheated face.
“Emotions can get the best of us sometimes,” his voice was understanding, but there was a certain tick to his cadence that held condescension.
His words drip with a honeyed poison, sweet and reassuring on the surface but laced with a reminder. He knows what’s best for you. If you had listened to him from the start, you wouldn’t be as worked up as you were right now.
“You know I only want what’s best for you, right?” He’d lift your face from his chest, wiping the stray tears away with a gloved thumb. His gaze was intense, eyes searching yours.
You’d shakily nod, lip trembling as you tried to hold eye contact. You felt so shameful... the thought of disappointing Jack almost made you sick... His approval was a lifeline you couldn’t afford to sever.
“Then you have to listen, Sunshine... I can’t help you if you don’t listen.” His thumbs traced under your puffy eyes, applying gentle pressure over your sinuses. His touch was firm but tender. The rhythm of his breathing slowed, and you found yourself unconsciously matching it, grounding yourself in his presence.
You lean into his touch, eyes closing as the last of your tears leak down your cheeks. “I... I know, Jack. I’m—I’m sorry.”
“Shhh...” He brings your head back to his chest, letting you cling to him as tight as you wanted. He gently sways you, humming softly under his breath, a lullaby that wrapped around you like a silken web.
He tucks his nose into your hair, smile heavy on his lips. His grip tightened slightly, just enough to remind you who held you together. He whispered reassurances, each word carefully chosen.
“I’ve got you. I’ll always have you.” he murmured, his breath warm against your scalp. His fingers traced patterns on your back, a soothing reinforcement of his words. You felt yourself melting into him, the last of your resistance ebbing away under his practiced touch.
Jack’s smile widened as he felt you relax completely. He had you exactly where he wanted you, and the knowledge of it sent a thrill through him. Everything was falling into place, and you, sweet Sunshine, were the key to it all. ♡
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