#caffeine fix now
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toy doctor redux
plushy based on this guy
#pokemon#swsh#champion leon#ask to tag#a wizard leon!! I think this is still the only one that's not directly called a wizard#gods. I put so much into this one. and for what#yeah design wise this is mostly tightening up the palette compared to the prev version and dividing the theming more evenly#between the toy half and the doctor half#this kicked my ass so hard lmao. and Im not even super happy with it as it is#I feel like I couldve organized the 'pushing daisy' idea more elegantly. following the og design's cue on this mightve been a mistake#but well. the lance has been thrown it lands how it lands#having a wizard leon design that's specifically restorative so to say is really nice... the ability to fix....#okay. holy shit I need to lay down#just figured out the coffee candy Ive been snackin on may contain caffeine#so uh. I need to let off That pedal. mm#in time. I will find another candy. so long my love...#have a good night lad! sew a little heart inside it and send it on its way now
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I don't care if the texts are about what you're eating for dinner, I'll take all the crumbs I can get !!
LMAO yeah okay here you go. And upon reading them this morning it wasn't that funny so idk why I was laughing almost hysterically last night about it ahskalslal
#not snz#he's so right i did sound insane lmao#i always manage to forget how weird i get when I'm overly tired ahskalsl#in my defense i was texting my fire coworkers like this too ahskalslal#six of them texted me to make sure i survived my drive home and a few texted me later in the evening to make sure i was still alive#i got progressively weirder the longer the day went on lmao#passed out at like 11pm which is unheard of for me#it's 10am now and honestly i still don't feel like i slept enough#vaguely headachy and still kinda tired#i know migraine hangovers are A Thing but I've never had one so maybe I'm just going crazy fr lmao#at least i don't have to do anything today#also several people i know said to drink caffeine??? like will that not make it worse?????#the most caffeine i consume is maybe a cup of black tea and that's not even everyday#it just makes me so tired lmao and doesn't caffeine make headaches worse#i think the coworkers are just trying to fuck with me idk#i am kinda hungry tho i barely ate yesterday bc i was nauseous af#maybe food will fix me#partner posting
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I would like to thank not only god but also my brain for allowing me to finish my final grad school paper in time to watch Phil’s qsmp stream
#qsmp#qsmp philza#no idea what’s happening#I hope to fuck this means they’re fixing the situation with the admins#my heart is beating so fast right now#but that also might just be the immense amount of caffeine in my system
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incomprehensible yap in the tags tldr im just not doing well i guess
#text#i miss my weed + benadryl + ibuprofen + occasionally valium days (1 year ago) thatwas so much more awesome#i used to use benadryl n valium to sleep but i ran out of the former n could barely sleep for days so i stole some from . costco .#of all places😭#but id built up an intolerance i guess cause it stopped working At All i cld take like 3 times the amount i used to and nothing wld happen#since then my sleep schedule has Kind Of fixed itself since im in school now n have to wake up before the ass crack of dawn#its just better tho not awesome#n lately its been worse again all of a sudden#ive been having nightmares n less sleep n ive been rlly out of it during the day#in a lot of pain also <3 i love not going to the doctor out of fear and self medicating with caffeine and ludicrous amnts of ibuprofen#i think i might have built up an intolerance to that too lately its barely helped#but i do mean Ludicrous i went thru one of those big bottles(500 tablets) in less than 2 months#im aware it's bad and not healthy for me but like theres nothing else i can Do#theres no cure or catchall treatment plan for cloves syndrome#and it gets worse over time and Brouther Its Been Worse#so yay i will be in horrible pain for the rest of my short little life <3 im just trying to make it as better as i can#ive said all this before probably but im upset again#ive been rly fucking suicidal lately n ive been meaning to tell one of my teachers or my counselor but i know for sure theyll tell my mom#and that wont help at all#i Dont want to kill myself i just dont want to be in pain im so so sick of the pain and no one seems to understand
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sorry for not shutting up about caffeine but it's genuinely changing my life
#I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT?!?!?!?!#today i finished a pizza and PICKED UP THE BOX. WALKED TO MY DUSTBIN. AND I PUT THE BOX IN MY DUSTBIN#hello??????? sorcery#genuinely though i feel awesome and i can DO MY JOB NOW#the absolute relief i get from finishing my shift knowing that i did all the work i shouldve done and didn't slack off...#i've been in an awful state the past year. i had and lost 3 jobs because of this Can't Do Shit nonsense#and all it took was CAFFEINE to fix my entire life. genuinely im not exaggerating#idc what it does to my body at this point because i finally feel like a real person#caffeineposting
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I am now Healed (finally uninstalled TikTok)
#i dowloaded it during the pandemic and have been going in and out of it since#the longest my ape brain has gone without the need for it to fulfill some depraved sense of immediate content related gratification#was a couple weeks#so we'll see how this goes#(i had to install a time block. i had to parental control myself. ape brain is a curse i'd go i want heeheehoohoo videos NOW)#going through withdrawal (24 hours without instagram and tiktok)#i wouldn't even POST on instagram and tiktok. i'd just watch videos like a braindead rat#no one can fix me so i have to fix myself#also i had caffeine before an important meeting and i'm shaking. while laying in bed scrolling through tumblr because. you know *gestures*#stressed but not enough to actually get moving until the last possible minute#avoidant behaviour realness 💅#personal
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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day
#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this#which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is#like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again#but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier#but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare#since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how#ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only#likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me#unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate#but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or#gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that#week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go#buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family#r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask#abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt#being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa#kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of#me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to#fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i#shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr#n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy#that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid#like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of#my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to#handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i#cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much#if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything#it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are
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Oghhhhhhh I need to sleep,,,,, but my brain is so full of things,,,,,,,,,,, ouhhhhh I wanna draw,,,,,,,,,,, but I am wayyyy too damn eepy to draw,,,,,,,,,hudhshusjshdsj
#i rlly thought i could sleep w/o a melatonin gummy smh😔#ouhhssjdjdndn this is the worstdhskcnjs#storm rambles#midnight ramblings#<even thiugh its already 1 am-#man should i pull an all nighter?#i feel like i should to fix my sleep shedule#buttttttt its not *that* bad#but also i feel like shit when it *does* get that bad#so maybe i should pull an all nighter before it gets bad......#but also im sooo fucin eepy-#but also i cant sleeeeppppppo#and if i take a melatonin *now* id still wake up late regardless#but if i stay up and accidentally fall asleep in the middle of the day my sleep would get even *more* fucked up#but if i *didnt* and it actually worked id get to go to sleep early and wake up!! early!!!!#oghhh but i dont want to#ghhhhhh but no i kinda do#oughhh the choice between melatonin or caffeine#man im too tired for this sjit goodnight
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Does anyone have any cool project ideas? I finally finished cleaning up around here, and now I have nothing to do but stare at the ceiling.
No, dealing with any of my current social problems does not count. One- No 🧡 Two, everyone is prolly asleep anyway.
#guys its op's first time having coffee#help#what do i do#when does this wear off#i have work in the morning man i can not be doing this#fuck you walmart/j#RAHHH#ok first time having more than one sip of a caffinated drink#coffee and energy drinks are nasty#ive never had the opportunity to have tea#its not even that i generally dislike coffee#like a gag and actually physically shutter when swallowing that shit#i cant do it man#anyway im gonna shut up now#send anons#miles tails prower#ask blog#tails ask blog#tails rp blog#rp blog#tails the fox#sonic rp#sth#i just realized the first tag says coffee instead of caffeine.#im not fixing it just pretend i said caffeine#i cant have coffee
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boop
boop! :)
#boop boop boop boop#bapping you rn#sorry i'm so hyper#im drinking caffeine right now which will either fix me or make me worse /hj
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14 years old me would not believe how I am doing right now. Am I stressed and all? Sure. But I've never had this many relations and responsibilities in stuff I actually care about, I've never been this social, and I've never been this active before WOAGH.
#I'm fuckin invited to learn spider identification by a spider scientist this saturday (IM HYPED AND NERVOUS)#I'm working on multimedia division for UKF's global expedition#AND I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR THE INSECTS DIVISION FOR UKF TOO#WHAT THE FUCK#I'm so fucking nervous for everything but man I'm doing stuff! AND I LEARN STUFF#I'M LEARNING#CREATING#TEACHING#this is great#OH AND NOW I REGULARLY DO CAMPUS INSECTS MONITORING WITH THE HEAD OF INSECTS CONSERVATION DIVISION#life is niiiiiiiiiice#personal#life update I am not dead#ashamed that I smoke and am caffeine dependant now tho I need to fix my coping mechanism#just wanna.. talk about it idk
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i know i do this every time i go without caffeine and then get back on it, but like. it is ASTOUNDING to me how much better my brain functions when i have it. like. i wrote 1000 words on my Re-do AU for L&E when i haven't been able to touch it in like a week, simply because i made myself tea today. i had 2 paragraphs this morning. now i have 3 pages.
#thank fuck i can fix my brain with tea and other caffeine drinks#i was barely able to make myself put together sentences for communication yesterday and today i have Story Telling Mode on#including hyperfocus into research briefly to make sure i'm Realistically Mortally Wounding a character#anyway i now know what temperature makes glass out of sand and what a 4th degree burn is#don't worry about it
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???? ok i guess i have a ghost ask
#seri.txt#if u sent smthng and i havent answered lmk or send again idk 😭#am figuring out how to use desktop but god i need to fix my phone#okok sorry for posting incessantly i had too much caffeine and am avoiding writing my essay. going back to work now
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rabbit enclosure renovation for senior disabled bun is complete
rearranged some stuff, for more floor space + took away one of the house "stair trio" so he isn't attempted to climb up the houses (he would if he wants to follow Maya). Maya still can get up there tho.
#my bunnies#rabbits#bunnies#that + cleaning my flat took half the day 😴#but now i still have to fix my pc#caffeine pill helped to make this possible lol#rabbit with spondylosis
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why am i always left behind ( ; ω ; )
#been on the verge of sh for a few days now#and i dont think theres enough caffeine or snacks or cute outfits in the world to fix me#but im trying#:c#✩‧₊˚
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