#cafein

[dollya-robinprotector]

I often joke with my friends, that the reason I'm still holding my V-card despite being the most horny repressed person they know, is because my standards are out of this world. Simply put, I'm a wibu, and no real man can meet my expectations.

But deep down I think we all know it's because I'm just a coward. I yearn to love and be loved, yet everytime someone expresses that they love me I get scared and run away.

I've mentioned this before, the feeling that I don't deserve love, because I'm weak and unstable, physically and mentally, hell even financially too. I bury myself in works and practice, I seek validation from every person I know, then fall to sleep everyday, exhausted from working and distracting myself from the fact that I'm not whole. And on days I can't draw, my mind is suddenly flooded with heavy emotions I'm so afraid of and tear blurred my vision.

Today is one of those days. Gray sky, no sun, cold wind and dry air make my nose bleed,... The weather is tricking me into thinking I need to be in a strong pair of arms, tightening into warm hugs, with sweet words whispered into my ears that ease my most fearful delusions and laughter and silly jokes that I can only keep to myself for now... This depressed weather, this depressed time of the year, when Lunar year is about to end, is radiating negative effects on people, I'm sure of it.

Even now, suddenly, words make no sense anymore, and my thoughts turn into dancing flowers. In my blurred vision I see them clearly. It's frustrating, you know, when all trains of thoughts just start running all at once, and their paths cross here and there so of course they would crash so loudly and messy. But the crashes all turn into flowers, and then they wither. The withered petals fall on my cheek, my eye lid, my nose and lips, and they tastes salty and wet. And then despite the cold, my cheek and ears burned.

I hate when my ears burned hot.

And then I don't remember what I just thought a moment before anymore. It's strange, I know I thought a lot, but I don't remember them anymore.

Still, my chest feels heavy, and my throat is clogged. My brain sinks, and my typing hands feel tired, and the under skin stops itchy.

And finally, I feel sleepy.

Finally the coffee went off.

God damn you have NO idea what a Vietnamese coffee can do holyshit I hope I can have a restful sleep before waking for class tomorrow.

[gensokiyo]

People I don't know always ask me "what do you do in your free time?"

Well...

Um...

Me in my free time :

Sammytubbies...

[lyvencope]

Reworked my 3D model of Sylvanas so it's *properly* rigged and shaded !

[oneleggedflamingo]

I haven't had any coffee today and I feel fine. I had some exhaustion that might have been cafeine withdrawl, so I drank two cups of chikkory and had some milk chokolate, and now I feel back to normal.

I have been reducing the amount of coffee I drink. When I started uni 4 years ago I drank 6-9 cups of filter coffee a day (yeesh). I switched to instant coffee after a year of that and I think it was good for me, because it has less cafeine (source: that british coffee guy on youtube) and I get to have the same amount of hot drinks.

And last year I did some random weeks when I didn't drink any sort of coffee for a week (really difficult and unpleasant).

And this year I have been able to easily not drink any coffee on random days. I do still drink half a cup of filter coffee in the breakroom at the start of the work day.

Also I noticed that I prefer the taste of chikkory over coffee, so when I feel like having a tasty hot drink, I choose that instead. And when coffee is the only option I decline it.

Something something, if you want to quit an unhealthy habit, it can take years and you might need to find a healthy alternative habit to replace it with before you start to feel like quitting it is even possible.

[beatricebidelaire]

it is one of the attractions: when it ceases to be dangerous you don't want it // the secret is to keep everyone on their toes. everybody's got to keep guessing or you have nothing left

[natandacat]

Yall need to understand ive been raw dogging reality for 20 months and a half like no drugs no booze no smokes nothing

[beynelmilelli]

[one-gold-sunflower]

I still have a fight or flight response to Eddsworld content whenever I’m not outright looking for it and it pops out at the most random moments ever. It’s like funny because I’ve found EW profile pictures commenting under hours long serious essays and it always catch me off guard. GG <3

[honkshoooooooo]

4 monster, 2 dayquil, 56 ml of concerta, 1 nyquil, 1 snapple, 1 cup of coffee iykyk

[shafaqmum]

("Caffeinated Kitten - Energetic Coffee Cat Art" Active T-Shirt for Sale by Colorful-Garden gönderdi)

[seancodydotcom]

I wonder how long it would take before the hallucinations start bc i usually get those at around 20 hours straight up awake but i'm like 4 hours past that by now

[2t2r]

Asskicker - le café le plus fort du monde avec 80 fois le taux de caféine standard

Nouvel article publié sur https://www.2tout2rien.fr/asskicker-le-cafe-le-plus-fort-du-monde-avec-80-fois-le-taux-de-cafeine-standard/

Asskicker - le café le plus fort du monde avec 80 fois le taux de caféine standard

[c0smicdisaster]

After 6 espressos does one contain enough cafeine to be concidered a coffee?

[jaycesirlgf]

why did i drink a rockstar smd get more tired.

thats adhd for u

[nothatsmi]

I don't know what I miss more, having free time to draw or these fellas

The raven cycle!!!!

Oh I love these guys. Everything about these books, I want to draw them soooo much more (I probably will)!!

Guys I'm back-

It has been a nightmare lately this is the only thing I managed to draw in weeks? Finals and uni stuff that's taking all of my time and energy, slowly turning me into a cafeinated slug (worst part is caffeine doesn't even have an effect on me? I only drink coffee for the TASTE can you imagine). Anyway the rush won't be over until end of January but hopefully I'll be able to ignore the stress and draw anyway :)