#cRACKFIC

[prokopetz]

I understand that The Amazing Digital Circus is ripe for "what if the main character snapped and killed everybody" crackfic, but y'all, if Pomni went off the deep end she would not be your sexy glitchcore murderwife. She'd do it screaming and flailing, and it'd make Tom and Jerry sound effects the whole time she's killing you.

[sevs-corner]

Tf 141 and their s/o having auditory sensory issues

A/N: Just putting it out there that this isn't tied to any condition, just their fav lil human just being too overstimulated or under-stimulated when it comes sounds (this is also unserious and just me thinking of scenarios thats happened to close to my own experiences lol) Masterlist here!

Johnny, despite his playful disposition, is actually quite acutely aware of your mannerism and behaviors as you hang out with him and the rest of the guys.

Not in the way of being hyper-aware of it, just noticing how you've picked up on certain habits whenever he finds himself around you.

Just like how you're inseparable in wearing those bluetooth earphones he gave you for Christmas one time.

He notices that you have plugged them inside your ear holes so often that he wonders when you even charge them. He sees how you put them on instinctively whenever you two go out on one ear. He sees you plug it in deep whenever he's vacuuming around the house or when the neighbors are mowing their lawn. He sees you have them on when they get too rowdy while watching a game.

Point being-- you were never seen without it. Why?

One day, he casually brings this up with you while the other guys were out on an errand.

He loves watching you sway your hips to the beat of whatever song you're listening to-- but now he's just curious, interest piqued per se.

Before he let his thoughts spiral, he stood up from his chair by the kitchen nook and approached you with the intent of wrapping his arms around you and swaying to the beat of your rhythm.

"Bonnie," he kisses your temple, "wha'cha listenin' to?"

You giggle at the tickled feeling of his kiss and the way his arms slightly tickled your sides, all the while letting go of the pan for a moment to remove your earphones and let it hang around your neck.

"Just some Dennis Van Aarssen jazz music," you hum, "wanna listen to it too, bubs?"

He shook his head, instead letting his one hand wander to the ear piece you removed and fiddling with it before you plugged it back in once more.

"Just wonderin'..." he mutters, "why ya' got this on all this time? Did ya' love my christmas present that much?"

He tries to smooth it over with a joke when he felt you tense in his arms, but this made those thoughts he tried to push back in his mind resurface-- making him more concerned as to why you reacted like that.

Could it be your way of coping? Or dealing with some sort of stress the four of them can't see? Or a problem you haven't told them about and you're using it as a means to avoid it?

"Bonnie," he stops swaying with you and lets you turn to face him in his arms, and he could see that unsure look on your face, brows furrowed and lips being chewed on-- he knew he had to be concerned now.

"Bonnie, please." he tries a plea to make you open up. "You know you can tell me right?" He starts rubbing his hands up and down your forearms to both comfort you and silently urge you to talk to him.

This makes you breath out a shudder, hand going to your other ear to remove the ear piece that was still playing some music. With a tap, you paused it and finally look up at Johnny, face painted in concern with such gentle, reassuring eyes that you couldn't bear to hide it from him- or the rest of the guys- about why you did so.

You guessed he finally took notice of often you wore it, with or without them-- too many times that you figured that they charted it enough to become a cause of concern for them. It doesn't help the fact that you felt like you got caught red-handed and are now supposed to confess about something you weren't even quite sure of yourself.

So, you try to explain, despite how messy your thoughts and feelings are.

"I just," you fumble, "well, you know me, right? I like music-- just a whole wide variety of it and it just always help, i don't know, help with my moods?" You strung your sentence along, hoping it was coherent enough for Johnnny to understand, and once he nods- giving you the confidence to keep going- you continued.

"It just helps me with working, y'know? Keeps me motivated and focused and all that." You fingers start wringing themselves in sweat and nervousness. "I just-- I don't know specifically why, I guess? It kinda just occupies my mind? Sometimes helps with blocking out with some stuff too..."

Johnny nods in understanding, licking his dry lips before talking as he felt his throat run dry at the thought of your last words.

"So besides liking it," he starts slowly and he sees you nod in confirmation, "it... helps you with work, keeps you focused and finish, aye?"

You nod again.

"But," he dry gulps, "it's helping with blocking out stuff-- what are those stuff bonnie?"

You bit your lip, avoiding eye contact by burying your face in his chest and you can hear him coo, patting your head and wrapping his other arm- still around your waist- tighter.

"We can wait bonnie," he whispers with chin on your head, "but just know that we're always here for ya'."

"I know," your voice muffled in his chest and you feel it rumble in a chuckle.

"Ya' can take your time with it," he reassures you, hand going from your head to your back, rubbing it slowly. "no need ta' tell me now-- was just curious, y'know?"

You smiled onto his chest, and take a moment in his embrace-- to sort out your thoughts and feelings that you've been keeping under wraps from them.

"We're back!"

Your calming moment gets interrupted by the three arriving back just in time for lunch, storming their way to the front to kitchen to greet you two in excitement yet that gets halted as they see you in the position you were both in.

"Darlin'," John immediately puts down his stuff and goes to approach both of you, eyeing Johnny who just shakes his head as he tries to search a response from him.

"What's going on?"

You feel another hand on your back, and you turn to face him to reply-- "just talkin'."

John takes note of how your eyes looked more dimmed than usual, and was about to ask again until Simon came in with a scoff.

"Cut the bull luv," Simon crosses his arms, "we all can tell somethings wrong."

You sigh back into Johnny's chest, a bit irritated at how quickly Simon picks up on things. Johnny glares at the brit who just raised an unimpressed brow at him, as if telling him to be a bit more gentler with his approach. Simon just shrugs, standing on his point as he juts his head to the side, signaling that they should take the conversation somewhere else.

Johnny rolls his head but nods anyways at the silent conversation they had. Kyle, seeing the exchange, picks up on and vocally propose to postpone lunch to chat for a bit.

All of you nod and transfer over to the living room, where you were quite practically made to sit in front of all four of them-- well, make that three while Kyle sits besides you, holding your hand in his as he absentmindedly traces shapes on it.

"So," John starts and directs it to you, "what's goin' on?"

You hum, unable to make eye contact with any of them as you try to clear your mind by fiddling with Kyle's fingers.

"It's with those earphones bonnie wears all the time," Johnny starts for you after some silence on your end, "just asked 'em about it and found out the reason why it plugged in their ears so much."

"Was he talking to you Johnny?" Simon grumbled into his ear, grabbing onto said man's neck to pull him up to his mouth and Johnny feels a shiver go down his spine as he replies a soft, "no."

"Then let her talk."

John agrees and this time, urges you to make eye contact with him by tipping your chin upwards to his gaze, to which was now eye-leveled with you as he sat crouched on the coffee table.

"You can tell us anythin' darlin'," he reassures, "you know we just wanna help you, right?"

You nod in response and finally got the momentum to talk-- to admit it.

"I told Johnny that it helps with blocking out some stuff," you explained softly, "those stuff being my thoughts that are like distracting sometimes or like, when my surroundings gets too loud and it feels like too many stuff is going on inside my head in one moment."

Once you see John and the others nod, you guessed they wanted to know more and let you continue first.

"It..." you gulp, "also makes me feel, I don't know, less perceptive of my surroundings? It feels like I take in too much and having something playing in ears and blocking out all that just helps with limiting that." You cringed at your explanation. "Like sometimes, I don't mind the noise but sometimes it also just-- gets too much, and I just found that by using these earphones are my way of coping about it."

You gripped onto the cord earphones, as you felt stifled by the fact you were relying on something so much to get by your day. To you, its frustrating-- having to rely on something just to "normally" go about your day, and without it, it feels near impossible.

You then felt a hand lay on top of yours, the one that was tightly gripping the cord so much so that your fists had gone white. You lifted up your head to Simon kneeling besides you, unfurling your hand gently before intertwining it with his, and you could feel yourself relax more significantly than before.

The tension of expressing all that tightening your body and with Simon's simple gestures, he released all of that.

"So you get overstimulated by noise?" Kyle asks besides you and you shrug.

"I guess? If there was one way to put it-- then, yeah."

"We're sorry we didn't notice it sooner darlin'," John apologizes for everyone, "you know we could have helped you with that, right?"

You nod hesistantly, "I do... its just I think its silly."

"I don't think its silly," Johnny mutters, "I think its something we should try and address, really."

You stare at him, shocked for a moment.

"Its a problem you're facing luv, then we'll definitely take it seriously." Simon brings your attention back to him by placing his hand on our cheek and gently turning it to his direction. "Got that?"

You nodded more confidently this time.

"Need a verbal confirmation from you, luv."

You let out shaky smile, whispering a small--"yeah, got it."

The boys feel a bit heartbroken at your problem, seeing how much its affected you and how blind they've been to reacting to it. They feel partially responsible, knowing that they were sometimes the cause of that "noise" you want to block out, knowing they weren't the quite the silent type whenever they stay at home with you. From loudly talking during meals to cheering and jeering at their sports teams to just obnoxiously doing chores around-- they felt awful. Just picturing you looking at those earphones for comfort, and feeling to burdened to tell them about it so you try dealing it with your own.

And you did. Only because it was weird- to you- to ask someone to lower their voices when it came to talking in their own home. If they couldn't be comfortable in their own home, their safe space, then where else would they?

It was quite a conundrum you were stuck so long on that relying on those earphone was the best way to deal with it-- for the moment. Until you figured out a way to tell them.

Which eventually arrived you to this moment-- explaining all of this to them like an embarrassing story of pissing your own pants like a little kid.

"Darlin'," John starts with a heavy breath, "you know its not a hard ask right? We're your partners-- we're supposed to care for each other."

"I do too," you mumble, "that's why it felt weird to ask of you guys to adjust for me when you're already doing so much."

Their eyes soften at this confession.

"And we'll do more," Kyle states, "if its for you, I don't mind doing the little things you ask of us, sweetheart."

The others agree and you pout.

"I can't do that."

"Then we'll do it for you whether you say so or not." Simon decides for you, wiping the unshed tears gathering at the corner of your eyes. "I can tell, don't worry luv."

You roll your eyes at the exuding confidence of Simon's ability to read people and you hear him chuckle at your reaction, feeling him pinch your cheeks too in retaliation.

"Brat," he teases, "I'll let you off this time."

You then feel his touch let go from yours and somehow, find yourself in the arms of John who was gazing at you with such empathetic eyes that you feel bad for feeling like this.

But that thought was immediately removed from your head with a poke at the side from Kyle, "none of that sweets," he says with a cheeky grin.

John supports by adding onto it, "don't overthink 'bout it darlin'." He presses his forehead against your pounding one, but soon tides over as you find yourself matching your breath and pace with his.

"We promised to take care of you and we'll do that, okay?" He looks for your confirmation and you mutter a small, "yeah" in response.

"Just gotta tell us sweets," Kyle approaches from behind and wraps you in a hug as well. "don't feel like you gotta rely on somethin' else to make it through yourself."

"Let's take baby steps, a'ight?" Johnny huffs with a smile on his face, jumping in the hug as well. "we can work through it together, right LT?"

With his insinuation, Simon rolls his eyes and joins the hug as well with you in the middle.

"Together," Simon promises snarkily, tightly wrapping his arms around everybody only for you all to loudly complain and dissipate from the short-lived group hug.

Simon lifted his hands up in mock surrender while you pointed a glare at him.

"Just sayin'," he puts it other there, "you can just tell us to shut up and we wouldn't mind."

The guys stifle a laugh at how the picture of you doing that to them looked like in their heads-- and they just can't imagine you, of all people, doing that.

If you could, you would have already slapped the smirk of this man's face but you just poked your tongue at him instead.

"I could never do something that mean," you sneer, "unlike you."

This makes them crack-up again, and this time-- it makes you smile too, and Kyle catches it. Quickly pointing it for the others to do the same with only John standing back and observing all of his partners playfully get along once more.

He's happy that they finally got you to tell them of that lingering problem that on the back on everyone's mind but, tackling it was a different story. A bit of a tricky situation that comes with much planning and adjustments on all sides-- which all of you were willing to work on.

But as long as it made sure that you were happy, loved, and care for-- they were willing to spend game nights lowly cussing at each other and sending silent death glares.

Maybe it might be even more fun for them that way.

A/N: a bit of a half assed ending ngl, i feel like makin a part 2 to this before it this one gets too long and flesh it out a bit better ksahdkjsfakhhsa (but we'll see where this goes)

[almostempty]

Cargo

(joel x f!reader, din x f!reader, frankie x f!reader) | wc: 4.9k | other fics | Ao3

summary: smuggler!joel finds you and brings you to his partner in crime, with a side of gratuitous smut and a special guest along the way (full spoiler summary under the warnings/tags) 

note: this is for my lovely @auterdelabre, and it was inspired by the line you wrote when i joked about joel using “cargo” as a pet name (and a couple other things i had to mix in there) 

extra note: i hope this can bring a lil distraction in light of the heavy reality of today, fuck fascists – just don’t fuck them

warnings/tags: mdni explicit, smut, smuggler!joel, dubcon, oral, piv, degradation, ‘whore’ and one (1) ‘slut’, truly pwp - like the plot is just p, pls let me know if i missed anything important, weds warnings: doin’ it/fillin’ it up unprotected with no consequences bc it’s fiction and in the words of Wu-Tang Clan’s Ol’ Dirty Bastard in Shimmy Shimmy Ya - Ooooh, Baby, I like it raw; f!reader is able-bodied–this time this bish has hair that joel can worm his fingers into, no y/n, likely many mistakes bc i yam who i yam 

FULL SPOILER SUMMARY: crackfic crossover: star wars smuggler!joel finds you and y’all fuck, he brings you to his partner dark!din and y’all fuck, but surprise! smuggler!joel and dark!din were your co-stars for your independent porn. your bf, Frankie (who played the Mandalorian), is just so turned on watching you edit the video that…you guessed it! y’all fuck) 

The clear water rushes downstream, rippling around your legs as you step toward the bank and the soft grass. The sunlight filtering through the forest canopy makes the surface of the stream sparkle like glitter. But, you. You are the star of the scene. 

You glow like you’re a creature drawn from the sun and the soil, from the woods and the water. Crystal-clear droplets of water race along your skin, rolling over your curves and dripping back into the current to flow down, down, down to another body of water. 

You appear meditative, attuned to nature's tranquility, disregarding the universe's relentlessly unjust chaos. The ugliness and the violence. The balance. The dark. 

Joel lurks in the trees, waiting to make his presence known. Holding out for an opportunity to strike. He creeps out of the treeline with deft precision, like a shadow. You’re only partially dressed, still bent over your bag, searching for something when he gets close.  

“Don’t think you’ll need to worry about that anymore.” 

He’s not loud, but his gruff voice still disturbs the serenity. A jarring interruption to the leaves rustling in the breeze and the birdsongs echoing above. You take one long breath before you look him in the eye. Dropping your bag, you raise your hands in surrender. 

You have nothing. No weapons, no defense, no chance of getting far if he’s tracked you down already. “How did you find me?” You square your shoulders, standing your ground despite your disadvantaged position. 

“It’s my job,” he replies simply. 

He circles around you slowly, appraising you, eyes roaming over your exposed skin. Your tight shorts and thin undershirt don’t leave much for him to imagine, but you refuse to shrink or hide. You assess him yourself, and realization spreads across your face. You mutter his name aloud. Joel. 

He pauses just behind you and hooks a finger under the thin strap along your shoulder, teasing down the skin before snapping it like a rubber band. You stifle a wince. Just because he has you alone and barely dressed in the wilderness doesn’t mean you intend to give easily. You keep your chin raised in a proudly defiant stance. 

Joel chuckles dangerously at you, stepping closer. He rests his large palms atop your shoulders. It would be a sweet portrait of the two of you if it weren’t for the reality of the circumstance. Instead, his body is oppressive, so broad compared to you that it’s like you’re caged in, locked in a gravitational pull towards him, despite being in the open air. 

Your distaste for his presence has your body rigid and tense. You’re holding your breath as he leers at your body over your shoulder. His fingers dig into the flesh over the ridge of your clavicle like the claws of a predator ready to fly you away or tear you apart. 

“Are you going to come along willingly now?” he asks. The bass of his voice sends a shiver down your spine despite his furnace of a chest radiating into your back. The question hangs ominously between you. The or left unsaid. 

You swallow slowly, muttering an agreement and turning so you’re face to face. Your eyes dart across his features, and it’s strangely intimate. Something heavy in the closeness of your mouths, the shared breaths you take. His humanity is so apparent. You could reach out to trace every line of his face, but his stoic expression morphs into something sinister.

“That’s too bad,” he tuts, disappointed, “I was hoping you’d put up a fight.” 

You scowl, shifting your weight to lean away from him. He laughs harshly at your response. It’s a grating, barking sound, baring his teeth. 

You’re still thinking about what he was hoping for as he binds your wrists together, but he’s not revealing anything else. He grabs your upper arm and begins leading you toward the dense trees. You stumble, adjusting to his pace and trying to find your stride. 

“Where are you taking me?” you complain, trying to jerk your arm out of his grip, but he’s latched on tight. He’s unfazed by your attempt to break away from him as if it’s a natural part of his day-to-day to wrestle with an unwilling companion. 

It’s an exertion to keep up with him; he moves with purpose and little regard for you. Unaware of the small branches and shoots of new growth in the forest whip at your face, arms, and ankles. Uncaring that they obstruct your vision as you let him lead. 

You take his strength, size, and foul-tempered look apparent from his profile. You follow half a step behind, visibly less enthused about his single-minded pursuit. 

“Not far.” He’s blunt. Unhelpful. Answering you without a glance in your direction. 

“What do you want with me?”

“That’s not my decision,” he shrugs as if he isn’t talking about what happens to your life. Not wasting a word to ease your panic. 

“Who sent you?” Fear cracks through your voice. Ugly and raw. 

“Don’t know.” 

He’s so short with you. Brutish and rushed. Trudging along indifferent to your world crashing down. 

“You don’t know?” There’s an edge to your tone, frustration apparent. Joel shoots you a scathing look. He has a handsome face, but his dark eyes show no kindness. 

“Don’t know. Don’t care.” He turns away, looking forward as you make your way along. 

He moves confidently, like a force of nature. Twigs snap under his boots as he creates his path without regard for the destruction. 

“Then what’s in it for you? Why not just let me go?” You press sulkily. 

“I get paid for delivering you, not making decisions, sweet thing.” 

His response is gross and detached. Sweet thing. The pet name drips with sarcasm. You’re just an object. You scoff at him. 

“You’re despicable,” you cut under your breath as you weave through the underbrush. Disgust warps your features as you make your way along.

“Watch it,” Joel snaps. A low tolerance threshold. Fitting for a surly smuggler. 

“It’s true,” you snap right back. He doesn’t take it lightly, stopping and yanking you around roughly so you’re facing him again. 

“You’re heartless,” you jab, “scum. You don’t care about anything but your own profit.” 

Fed up, he backs you into the nearest tree. The bark digs into your shoulder blades. His hand grips your throat menacingly. His face is so close to yours. The deep line between his brows, the depth of his dark eyes, and his plush lower lips are all you can see. 

“Keep it up,” he goads. His fingers are merely a threat, resting along your arteries. Tempting you to talk back. “We both know you aren’t innocent,” he adds. 

You snarl at that, arguing that he doesn’t know the first thing about you, but he only grins darkly. 

Joel enjoys the way you detest him. He also enjoys the sight of you pinned under his hand. The way it only takes one to have you helplessly trapped. You’re still muttering insults at him, but he’s ignoring your words. He’s too interested in the arch in your spine tilting you towards him. The rising and falling as your breath is shallow and quick. 

Your thin top is still damp from your dip in the water, and from his point of view, it’s a scene that deserves to be photographed. You seem so delicate in contrast to him. His wide palm covering your throat, his vascular forearm so masculine against your supple skin. You look at him through your lashes, your eyes narrow and scornful, but his eyes trail down as your voice trails off. 

Joel has a perfect view of your hard nipples under the thin material of your shirt. The fabric clings to you like you’re in a wet t-shirt contest, and the longer he stares, the more he starts to lose his sense of urgency in taking you anywhere.

“What?” you interrupt his ogling, forcing your features into a disapproving glower to overcompensate for the breathlessness. 

He’s amused by your contempt and disobedience. He can tell there’s a struggle forming beneath the surface. The twitch between your brows where they threaten to saddle in pleasure if he applies the right pressure. The lust flickering behind your eyes. The disdain tugging at the corners of your frown only makes his blood run hotter. 

“You think you’re better than me,” His voice drops, sinfully low. You stare blankly, not arguing. “You think you’re special,” he continues cruelly. 

“You aren’t.” His fingers squeeze along just the sides of your neck; playing god with you, he restricts the blood pumping through your arteries. “No, sweet thing, you’re just another runaway whore with a bad attitude. That sure as hell doesn’t make you special.”

“I’m not a whore.” You spit his words back in his face. 

“No?” He mocks, tilting his head and dragging his eyes over your frame. His lecherous gaze highlights your compromising position. You’re on display for him, at his mercy, alone. It all comes into focus as your throat runs dry. “Could’ve fooled me.” He lifts the pressure off your neck, and the blood rushes to your head. 

Your gasp switches into a tight frown. His cocky smirk only widens. 

“Argue all you want, but your body doesn’t lie,” he coos arrogantly. 

“Can feel your pulse beating faster,” his fingers massage deliberately at your neck. You steel your breathing, eyes searching for something on his face to focus on. Something to ground you. But he leans in close, his breath hot along your ear. “So desperate,” he inhales deeply like he’s cataloging your scent, “just for me?” 

His other hand traces the angle of your jaw. 

“Maybe that’s just a human response to being pinned to a tree in the middle of nowhere by a smuggler,” you hiss. 

“Maybe.” He releases you, and you stagger forward at the sudden loss of support. Losing your balance and unable to steady yourself with your hands bound, you’re toppling forward to your knees as Joel half catches you—stopping you from landing with your face in the dirt. 

He shakes his head at you in disbelief. Every time you move, you pose just to tempt him. Here you are on your knees, glowing in the soft light as you tilt your face up at him. The fear that flitters over your face twists into something else. Something that makes you both pause. 

Joel moves first, resting a hand on your cheek. Reflexively, your lips part, and he can’t stop slipping his thumb into your mouth. You try to recalibrate, reversing the involuntary responses, but he’s already seen them. The way your breath hitched and the way your eyes darkened. 

He raises a brow slightly, entertained by how easy it is to read the signs. “It’s too late to hide it.” He pulls his thumb back, dragging it slowly over your bottom lip and down to your chin, leaving a trail of saliva that catches the light and glistens. “You think I can’t see how bad you want it?” 

You shake your head lightly in defiance, murmuring that he’s wrong and dropping your gaze. You’re sat at eye level with his belt and his one hand with the thumb hooked on a belt loop. You study every ridge of his hand, the scars along his knuckles, the sun-tanned brown skin. 

The bulge highlighted by his fitted jeans catches your attention, and you look back up to meet his eyes.  

Joel slips his hand past your face, fingers weaving into your hair, cupping the back of your head. He doesn’t add much pressure, and you don’t have to lean far to rest your cheek along the worn denim on his upper thigh. 

“Yeah,” he growls above you, “take it out.” 

You move hurriedly, dissolving your denial. It’s easy work to unbuckle his belt and pop open the button of his jeans, even with your wrists bound. You wet your lips unconsciously as you tug the band of his boxers down until his cock springs free. Only half-hard, it hangs imposing and proud. So close to your face, you can see the tiniest twitch as he responds to your warm breath fanning over his skin. 

“Get to it,” he orders. 

You blink up at him, resistance fading on the tip of your tongue. “Or get up so we can get a move on; doesn’t matter to me.” he challenges. You curl your fingers around the base of his shaft. It’s smooth and hot under your fingertips. Experimentally, you run your tongue along the underside. His fingers tighten their grip in your hair. 

You open wide, laying your tongue out flat, and he guides you. Joel’s eyes are glued to your mouth as he slides his cock past your lips. You stare back, studying every expression that crosses his face. His hard eyes don’t soften, but you could swear his blinking slows. The hint of a snarl deepens as he picks up the pace. 

Using you. Fucking your wet mouth until he’s pressing into the back of your throat, seeking more. 

Your eyes tear up, but he doesn’t stop, and you don’t resist. 

You quickly acclimate, working in rhythm, breathing, taking it all. When your eyelids flutter shut and a moan buzzes in your throat, Joel laughs darkly. “If you aren’t a whore,” he pauses to make a throaty noise that spears right to your core, “why do you take my cock down your throat just like one?” 

You choke at his assertion, and he pulls out of your mouth, leaving you gasping for air. 

“Not a very good one, I guess,” he says flatly, yet with a particularly pleased expression still faintly etched in the lines of his face. You wipe the spit coating your chin onto the back of your hands. 

He doesn’t reach for you again; instead, he takes his cock in his own hand. Impatient. Slick with your saliva, he strokes himself lewdly, grunting with pleasure as he flicks his wrist. 

“You’re deranged,” you mutter, voice hoarse. 

He doesn’t like that. He moves without a word, shoving you forward onto your elbows and knees. He holds you down against the soft grass with one hand as the other crudely pulls your shorts down. He runs his palm along the curve of your spine, over the contour of your ass. Both hands grip the back of your knees, readjusting you to his liking. 

Then he takes his time. 

Kneading your ass and thighs, landing one firm smack on that has you jolting forward, cheek pressing flat into the grass. The sharp sensation disorients you and leaves you sucking in air. 

Joel is undisturbed by your reactions. He takes both of his thumbs to spread you open wider, revealing the glossy sheen of your core. Your cunt drips, slick and swollen for him. 

“You think I’m so despicable,” his gravelly voice makes your mind fuzzy, “how come you’re so fuckin’ wet for me?” 

You can only manage to whine into the ground, pushing back towards him. “You don’t move,” he says harshly, one wide palm gripping your hip to hold you still. When the blunt head of his cock glides along your seam, you let out a broken moan. His fingers dig into your soft flesh in warning. 

He pauses, with his tip resting at the core of your throbbing pussy, to marvel at the visual before sinking into you. You gasp at the overwhelming sensation of being filled so completely. You don’t have time to adjust before he’s pulling back and slamming into you again. He drags against every nerve inside of you, intensifying every motion. 

Joel isn’t gentle. He holds you firmly and uses your body, fucking into you with rough thrusts that make your thighs tremble. “Take it,” he grunts, pounding into you deeply until his hips meet your bare thighs. 

It’s all wet noises, heaving breathing, and skin slapping against skin. He watches the plush curves of your ass ripple as he drives into you harder and faster. The force of his movement pulls sharp, ragged cries from you as he fucks you so hard it pushes the air out of your lungs. 

“This is all you get.” Joel groans behind you, curling over you with his broad frame. Your bodies are sweaty where your naked skin slips against each other, and you writhe against him, mouth hanging open and eyes rolling back as he fucks deeply into you. 

“You’re nothing to me,” he snarls, punctuated with his hips snapping into you brutally. “Just fuckin’ cargo.” 

“Shit,” he mutters, hips stuttering as you whimper. “You like that. Can feel you clenching around me,” he keeps talking. You’re mindless beneath him. A winded, drooling mess. “Ain’t even worth the hassle to deliver. Better use taking my cock,” he grunts, hips canting more erratically until he stills, pulsing inside of you with a throaty groan. 

You’re boneless, propped up on shaky knees as he pulls out and watches his come leak out of you for a moment. Then he’s crassly yanking your shorts up and ordering you to stand. You’re wobbly when you get back to your feet, and he huffs at you agitatedly. “Figure out how to walk, or I’ll drag your ass the rest of the way.” 

You can’t say how long it takes before you reach your destination. Everything was a blur as you clumsily trotted along, outpaced by Joel’s long stride. You’re breathing loudly through your mouth, a sheen of sweat between your shoulder blades and on your chest. Joel, apparently well-conditioned for the cardio, is frustratingly collected. He holds you tightly as he opens the door and pushes you inside. 

He jerks you towards a makeshift seat on a crate and raps a fist against the wall behind you. You can hear heavy footsteps. Joel ignores you as you try to read his expression. In seconds, the fully armored Mandalorian enters the room. 

He moves swiftly, barely glancing in your direction as Joel meets him on the far side of the room. 

“You were delayed,” the Mandalorian remarks in his modulated voice, his tone unrevealing. Joel steps in closer, muttering in a hushed tone that you can’t pick up. Something makes the Mandalorian laugh abrasively. His voice cracks through the air, fraught with a hazardous edge. 

You sit still, chest tight, as the helmet swivels towards you. Expressionless metal, he gives nothing away. Harsh lights beat down on your damp skin, making it hard to stay still. 

Joel is menacing, but this guy is impossible to read. The Mandalorian stalks towards you like a predator. 

Joel leaves the room, presumably off to shower, pulling his shirt over his head as he walks away. 

“Let’s see then,” the Mandalorian commands as he approaches. 

“See what?”

He pulls you to your feet, a gloved hand jerking your head side to side as he examines you. 

He steps forward, and you back away in synchronized steps until your heel hits something. The Mandalorian has you trapped between the cold wall and his cold metal armor. 

He removes the cuffs that bind your hands, tossing them aside, drawing a confused look from you. Instead, with one hand, he pins both your wrists above your head, causing your legs to spread instinctively. You squeeze your eyes shut as if you can control yourself without looking. 

“He said you’re not worth the fuel to return.” The Mandalorian gestures toward the direction Joel disappeared in with just a subtle tilt of his head. “That you’re a distraction and a whore.” 

“Then let me go.” 

“No.”

The Mandalorian doesn’t say more. He watches you. He is still and statuesque, whereas you’re so human. In the thick air, your breathing sounds too loud. Your heart beats too violently. Your limbs tremble too weakly. You give away so much, just with your body, your face, your eyes. 

“What do you want with me?” 

“I ask the questions,” he negates coolly. 

He squeezes your jaw tightly, “Is it your mouth?” His fingers squish the insides of your cheeks against your teeth. 

“No…it can’t be this needy cunt, hmm?” 

You’re shuddering, soft, and pliant. Warm, flesh and blood. You can’t form a response for him, even when he releases your jaw. Your gape at him with wide eyes and wet lips. 

Then, unceremoniously, he’s shoving his hand into your leggings. Wedging his thick fingers between your slippery, swollen folds. He growls like an animal beneath the helmet.

“You’re soaked,” he says. “Getting fucked full of Joel’s cock wasn’t enough?” He pulls his hand out, letting the band of your leggings snap against your belly. You stare back. Your body trembles lightly, arms straining in his grip. 

“Answer me,” he orders quietly. 

It’s soft. Your throat is still hoarse. “No.” 

Then he’s groping at you with an intensity that makes you writhe against the cool steel wall. 

He pinches at your strained nipples, rolling them between his fingers and making you bite your own lip to distract from the twisted pain and pleasure he’s unleashing on you. You can’t keep back all the noises, though, and he pauses when you moan and arch into his hand. 

“You’re not a whore,” he decides and he wedges his thigh between your legs. You roll along the ridged plate of armor, needily grinding against him. 

Without warning, the Mandalorian tears your top off of your body like a starved animal. Primal and desperate, but with precision. A tremor runs through you at the exposure and ferocity, making you gasp. 

“No. You like this too much to be whore.” He drops your hands and they fly to his shoulders. You wrap your legs around his waist and he carries you across the room dropping you onto the bed. 

He pulls your leggings down, tossing them to the floor. You’re breathing so heavily, anticipating his next move. He pulls his cock out of his pants and you can’t take your eyes off of it. The only part of him exposed aside from his hand. The only glimpse of the true man beneath the metal. 

He taps his drooling head on your clit and you make a hungry sound, spreading your legs wide to make room for him. With a firm grip, he guides himself through your throbbing folds and into your hot, wet cunt. 

You groan as he meets the end of you. Your walls flutter around him as he splits you open, and then he starts to rock in and out and you keen. “Shut up,” he growls and covers your mouth with his palm. 

He saws into you relentlessly and you choke down your cries of pleasure. “Listen to how wet you are,” he mutters. “Such a filthy slut.” Your body jolts with every thrust, breasts bouncing and legs shaking as he keeps your mouth covered. 

“You think she can take us both?” 

You strain under the Mandalorian’s hand trying to turn your head and Joel moves in closer. 

“She’s just cargo,” Joel muses darkly, “she’ll take what we give.” 

…….

You pause the video on your laptop, freezing the scene just as it cuts back to your reaction to Joel. The fucked out smile in your eyes apparent, even with your mouth covered. 

You whip your head over to look at your boyfriend lounging next to you on the sofa. Your brow is furrowed critically, and he can see the wheels turning in your mind. His eyes, though, are clouded with lust. 

“Would’ve been better if we could’ve made a set that looked like the Razor Crest,” you grumble. You chew on your bottom lip as you consider the rest of your critique. 

“Do you think I should’ve kept in more of the dialogue between you and Joel? And the continuity with your gloves—do you really think it’s not that noticeable?” 

“Baby,” Frankie mutters in his thick, husky voice. “I don’t think anyone is worried about the plot or the fucking gloves.” 

You sigh deeply at that, returning to your video editing software with irritation. “You’re just saying that because you aren’t worried about those things,” you admonish him, continuing with your work. 

You play another clip of the scene that the two of you shot. Hearing your moaning and whimpering for him through the laptop speakers drives him fucking crazy. He’s pretty sure he could wear a banana suit and people would still happily pay to watch you get railed by him. 

“I’m not just saying that,” he argues, deciding to hold back on the banana comment. 

“Come here. It’s late, take a break.” He can practically hear your eyes roll as you ignore him and continue poring over details that only you would notice. He doesn’t have much patience left, already desperately turned on both from the video you made and from how sexy you look next to him. So focused. In your element. 

He lowers his voice into that rumbly, bassy register that he knows you can’t resist. “Are you going to make me repeat myself?” Your head swivels, and he gives you a dark glare with a gleam in his eye. He can see the feisty remark swirling on the tip of your tongue. “Come here,” he orders. 

You close the laptop, pushing it towards the middle of the coffee table. “Are you going to punish me?” you murmur, crawling onto his lap slowly. “I can get the helmet back out,” you joke with a playful smirk before you curl into him, pressing soft kisses along his warm neck. 

“Fuck,” he huffs, “I should punish you.” He grabs your hips, guiding you closer to where he wants you. You gasp at the same time as he groans when your core rubs against the long ridge of his erection. “You feel that?” he growls lowly. The friction and heat between you radiates up his spine and down to his toes. “You feel how hard you make me?” he asks. 

“Yes.” You grind against him. He feels huge through his soft sweats. You roll your hips, savoring the pressure of his hard cock teasing you. It sends sparks from your cunt to your nipples, lighting up your nerves. He slips one hand under the oversized t-shirt you’re wearing–his t-shirt– to palm your tits and pinch at your nipples as if he could read your mind or, rather, your body. 

“That’s how hard every jerkoff that watches us is gonna be.” 

His statement makes you giggle softly against his neck. “Yeah?” you ask breathily. 

“Yeah,” he confirms before capturing your lips with a hungry kiss that makes you moan into his mouth. You melt into each other on the sofa. Tongues sliding against each other, hips rocking against each other, and hearts beating against each other through your ribcages. 

He cradles you in his arms as he shifts. Releasing you once you’re flat beneath him on the sofa, “They’ll never know what it’s like to feel your sweet cunt come around their cock, though.” He says as he lifts your legs, sliding off your soaked panties before spreading you open. 

You can only hum in agreement, entranced by the sight of him pushing down his sweatpants. He’s lost in you. The desire in your eyes and the arousal shining on the folds of your core. You wrap your legs around him, hitching one knee up high to give him deeper access. 

“Please,” you groan. He teases you with the wide head of his cock, nudging at your clit as he coats himself in the fresh wave of slick flooding around him. 

“Please, what?” 

“Please, fuck me. Now.” 

A warm puff of air comes out of his nose. Amused with your impatience. But when he starts to feed himself into you slowly, it’s no longer funny. He’s possessed by the same urgency. Gripped by the plush heat of your cunt as you stretch around him. When he’s fully seated, hips flush to your pelvis, his cock throbs inside of you, and you dig your fingernails into the musculature of his shoulders. Silently demanding more, so he moves. 

He fucks into you with a fervor made of possession and pride. Filling you so deeply that it’s like he’s connected to your soul, slotted perfectly into the heart of your cunt. Every ridge of him designed to caress every nerve inside of you. But beyond fitting together physically, he knows exactly what you want. 

He snaps his hips harder. Faster. With a force that makes your eyelids heavy and your head bob limply as he drives into you with such strength that it makes you mindless with pleasure. He gives and gives. And you take and take. You cry out his name when he finds the perfect angle to launch you into a euphoric orgasm. It’s not long before he’s coming, too, stuffing you full and deep as your walls constrict and contract around him. 

Time feels fuzzy as you lay together. Sticky but satisfied. His arm and leg thrown over you weigh heavily as he relaxes. He could drift off like this, and he’s about to say so when he catches that look on your face. You just figured something out. 

“What are you plotting?” he asks in a sleepy voice. 

“I’ve got an idea for our next video.” 

“Yeah?”

“Do you still have those zip ties?” 

pls let me know if enjoyed or hated any of it <3

Dividers by @cyberangel-graphics

ty: to @gothcsz for reminding me that pwp is pwp when i spent days getting hung up on some unnecessary details, and to @magneticecstasy for an idea that didn’t make it in, but will not leave my brain now 

gen tags for some babes: 

@lovely-vamp-princess

@gothcsz

@auteurdelabre

@adoreyouusugar

@swankyorange

@itwasntimethatdidit40

@ivoryandflame

@magneticecstasy

[pininghermit]

Right Infront of My Salad?

Request: @dreamtogether2000 I was only doing it because I was curious but then I got Obsessed?! Please this with gn reader is everything I love! Go Buck Wild.

AN: First of all what a pick. Second of all, thank you for requesting this. I love writing crack fics especially this one was awesome. I hope you like it. We shall name this the Tropesvania Event- feel free to request

Genre: Fluff

Pairing(s): Adrian Tepes x GN Reader

Summary: Obsessed-gn-drabble

“They are, to put it mildly…” Lisa cringed, glancing into the camera, “obsessed with each other.”

“They’ve lost it. Whatever this is, it’s worse than anything unholy,” Dracula deadpanned, his tone dripping with the resignation of a centuries-old vampire.

Somehow, it had come to this: Dracula and Lisa, dragged onto Dr. Phil, seated stiffly next to their son, Adrian, and you. The root of the chaos.

Yet, the elephant in the room remained unaddressed. And riding triumphantly atop that elephant, entwined as if nothing else in the world existed, were Lisa and Dracula’s beloved son and you.

It had all started innocently enough, during the honeymoon phase of dating. At first, Lisa had found it endearing. Adrian gushing about you had been a breath of fresh air.

Every detail about your smile, your laugh, your favorite book had been recounted with an enthusiasm so pure it melted even Dracula’s icy heart.

Lisa had helped Adrian pick out the right outfits, thoughtful gifts, and conversation topics to avoid awkward silences. Dracula had joined in too, bemused by the adorable mess his son had become under the spell of young love.

Then, they met you.

From the moment of that first introduction, you had stormed into Castle Dracula like a burst of spring sunlight, your chaotic energy scattering the stoic gothic gloom.

Supper, once a quiet affair for three, transformed into a nightly event for four. The castle seemed warmer, brighter—alive. Though neither parent would admit it, there were moments they almost welcomed the change.

It was as if the wintery gloom of their home had been replace with fistfuls of spring shoved up ever nook of the castle.

But young love is nothing if not overwhelming.

Catching the two of you making out had been amusing at first, Dracula turning a delicate shade of crimson and retreating with an indignant swoosh of his cape.

But the charm wore thin quickly. After exactly twenty-three incidents of stumbling upon you in her lab, Lisa’s patience finally snapped.

And yet, here you were.

“I love you,” you giggled, nestled against Adrian, your hands wrapped around a mug of hot chocolate, the matching rings on your fingers glinting in the firelight.

Across the room, Lisa and Dracula watched from the couch, their expressions somewhere between weariness and acceptance, as Adrian’s face lit up to match yours. “I love you more,” he replied earnestly, leaning in closer.

“Noooo,” you drawled, sticking your tongue out at him playfully. “I love you more.”

Adrian pressed a kiss to your cheek, his golden eyes brimming with adoration. “I love you more than anything.”

Lisa saw Dracula’s face turn a distinct shade of green. Whether it was from the sweetness of the hot chocolate or the relentless PDA, she couldn’t say.

The count excused himself abruptly, clearing his throat as both parents caught sight of Adrian’s hand slipping under the blanket.

A single day. Adrian had been gone for one day to retrieve an ancient tome.

It had been an ordeal pulling him away, his golden eyes darting anxiously between you and the door as he nodded solemnly to your endless instructions about his health. To Lisa’s surprise, you had smiled and sent him off with a merry wave.

It unsettled both parents when you slammed the door shut immediately afterward only for your composure to crumble into pieces.

“I miss him,” you whimpered, staring forlornly at the cracks in the stone floor. “However shall I endure this?” you sobbed, burying your face in your arms.

For hours, you parked yourself by the door, refusing to move, before embarking on a grieving tour of the castle. Every room bore witness to your dramatic laments as you sprawled across tables, sighed mournfully in hallways, and flopped listlessly onto chairs.

Lisa and Dracula followed at a safe distance, watching in silent horror. By the end of the day, Lisa questioned her son’s doting nature, and Dracula could only mutter, “I'm too old for this Lisa.”

When Adrian finally returned, all hell broke loose.

You bolted toward him the moment the doors opened, nearly tripping over the carpet in your haste to reach him. Lisa and Dracula stood frozen in place, watching the soap opera that Castle Dracula had somehow become unfold before their eyes.

But it wasn’t the excessively affectionate reunion that left them speechless. It wasn’t even your tearful declarations of love or Adrian’s matching intensity.

It was the bold black ink scrawled across Adrian’s arm.

Your name. Permanently tattooed, proud and unashamed.

The sight left the family in stunned silence, each member processing the revelation in their own way.

For Lisa, it was an emotional breakdown, complete with head-in-hands groaning. For Dracula, it was a mental and spiritual crisis, punctuated by a mumbled, “By all the dark powers… what has he done?”

Meanwhile, the happy couple remained blissfully unaware of the chaos swirling around them, lost in a world that consisted of only each other.

Castle Dracula would never be the same again.

[fic-dumpster]

How would bonten be like meeting your family? Would they get along or not or even expose some stuff by accident?

Tbh, I think something could happen and it doesn’t go as planned. Let’s pretend for this scenario that Doe has a family… 😂 . Anyway, Anonie… sorry it’s years late but here we are trying. I just rewrote this so I’ll edit it later!

Bonten x reader

WC: 1320

TW: Fluff, revers harem, sad attempt at comedy, crackfic, fb!Mochi, gun, sappy/cliche ending, kinda uh… weird. It’s a mess.

You’ve been preparing this week’s dinner for almost two months. Arranging everyone’s schedules and thinking of ways to explain to your family how you have… more than one partner.

It’s not that you didn’t want to tell your family about them. It’s just that the subject was never brought up before and your parents weren’t so concerned about prior relationships, but what you had right now was beginning to turn into something more serious.

So, yeah. Here you are waiting for your parents and the guys to arrive. Which turned into you having to distract your parents because nobody was home besides you and they were not picking up their phones.

You left messages to each one of them with phrases like…

“Sanzu Haruchiyo! I swear to whatever is holy to you that I will have you maimed and hanged when you get home!”

or

“Mikey!!! I will put all the sweets on the highest shelves and throw all the stools away! See how you’ll manage! And no boobs!”

or

“Kakucho? Baby? Please pick up… I’m worried.”

Well, you were fuming and trying your best to pretend everything was in order. Until you heard the door open and steps closing in. Finally someone!

But all your relief flew out of the window when you saw none other than Mochizuki Kanji walking towards you with a big smile on his face.

Oh, hell no… they were so dead. Each and every one of them was so dead.

“Honey!” You visibly tensed as you heard Mochi’s boisterous voice greet you like that.

“Mo-Mochi! Ho-honey!” And so playing along it was.

You were actually grateful at the end of the night. Mochi was such a great guy. You would have cried if you didn’t have to act too. He treated your family so nicely and your parents loved him.

Mochi had your dad enchanted with his baseball and stock market talk. Then your mom was so in love with him too. No complaints at the end. On the contrary, they were so proud of you for finally finding such a wonderful person.

As happy as you were for a successful dinner. You were internationally seething.

Once your parents left and the house was cleaned. You arched your eyebrow and directed an inquisitive look at Mochi.

“So?” You asked after a while.

“Something happened… I know, I know.” Mochi dragged his hands over his face and sighed. “You have every right to be mad, but let me ex—“

Just then, the sound of the door unlocking alerted you of their arrival, and multiple footsteps followed to confirm the quantity.

In a flash you had Mochi’s gun in hand, the poor man panicking after you and not even the devil himself could stop you now.

“Are any of you injured to the point of being at death’s door? Are you all alive and kicking?” You asked in a solemn voice. “Well?”

“We–we’re good…” said Kokonoi who was the closest to you watched a very worried Mochi stand behind you and shake his head in silence. Was he warning them not to do what?

“Good,” and with that, you pulled the gun that was too big for your hand.

A bunch of screams and alarmed voices came in from the seven men standing at your entrance.

“Baby— wait! Baby!”

“We– it’s not– Y/N!”

“Woah! Woah! Woah!”

“Y/N, put that down before you hurt yourself.”

So you took the safety off which earned you more screams and Sanzu hid behind Kokonoi, Rindou took cover in Ran’s back and Mikey was lost in the tumult of panicking men.

“Mochi why did you give her your gun!?!” Takeomi asked as he harshly pushed against the door by Sanzu trying to get as far away as possible from the barrel of your gun.

“I didn’t! She took it!”

“This is your fault!” Ran blamed it all on Sanzu. “You taught her how to use one! We were against it!”

“Shut up! All of you!” They all went quite deadly fast. “I had dinner with my boyfriend!” As you spoke, you moved the gun at each one of them and they all jumped back scared it would go off. Even Mikey was eyeing your shaking hand like a hawk. “So I don’t know who you all are! Go away!”

Again, you pointed the gun, they jumped and they also crushed Takeomi against the door for the tenth time. While the other screamed, Takeomi was grunting in pain at this point.

“Can we explain?” Kakucho asked with his hands up to show he surrendered.

“And you are?” You saw hurt flash in Kakucho’s eyes once your words were out, but you needed to stand your ground. They had done it this time. “Sure, explain unknown man.”

“But please can you put the gun down?” Kokonoi was sweating buckets from the way you waved the gun everywhere.

“I’m not gonna—“ and just like that it went off against the wall where the Haitani brothers stood. You heard Rindou screaming and Ran cursing every color of the rainbow.

You crossed eyes with each one of them and threw them a sheepish smile.

“Sorry, maybe I should put it down…” putting the safety back on, you handed it back to Mochi with a second apology in tow.

With your attention back to the group in your entrance you saw Rindou having a… moment…

“Oh my God! I almost died! Raaan! I saw my life flash through my eyes!” Rindou was crouched down hugging his brother’s leg. Said brother had a tired face on… like this was a common occurrence.

“Sanzu, this is your fault too,” Kokonoi added to the

“How is it my fault?!” Sanzu exclaimed with indignation and fury.

This calmed down after a bit. Reluctantly, you let them in and sat down to explain. You heard their excuses, the emergency at work and called bullshit until Mikey spoke last.

“We were scared.” He began with his signature seriousness and almost sad eyes. “Look at us. We aren’t the guys you take home to meet your mother.” As he kept talking, you saw how one by one they all turned their eyes away, sour looks and empty faces. One after another. “Mochi at least has the looks to pass as a normal civilian.”

You nodded, understanding where they were coming from. Pink, purple and white hair… tattoos all over their bodies… and scars… your heart broke for them. But your fury wasn’t gone just yet.

“And you think I care? You think I care what they think?” You stood up and walked over to Mikey, holding his shoulders tightly as you spoke. “If anyone, even my own family, speaks ill of any of you, I would have thrown them out. And never looked back. Understood? I… I have my own life here… a family… that we built together.”

Even if you wanted to add more to your speech, you weren’t able to. An avalanche of bodies suddenly rained down on you and the next thing Mikey saw was a cluster of bodies on his feet.

You could barely breathe under Rindou’s arm and probably Sanzu’s leg. Kakucho and Kokonoi tried to wrench them away but it was fruitless. Both were moaning and crying about the family they built with you. Ran facepalmed at his younger brother’s behavior but smiled nonetheless.

“Wait, where’s Takeomi?” You asked having not heard the man in a while.

“Here!” Everyone saw the eldest Bonten member at the kitchen counter with a first aid kit. “I’m just patching myself up.”

“But you said you weren’t injured?” You said from the floor and in between two sobbing men.

“I wasn’t…” Takeomi winced as he applied a bit more ointment. “yeah, having six people push you against a door was awful. 0/10 would not recommend.”

Meanwhile, Mochi cried in a corner as he saw his family happy together.

[tartstealingknave]

Telling the first years that you broke your arm accidentally

This is a crackfic or chatfic idk😭 No ortho I do not know how to write for him

Anyways gn!reader as always<3 no prns used though

[onboardsorasora]

Ok, I saw this post and laughed soooo hard, and I couldn't let it go. So here is some crack.

Max glared at Vicky as she sighed long-sufferingly. He didn’t think he understood the words she just told him. By the look on her face he knew this wasn’t a marketing joke– but boy did he wish it was.

“You are not serious.” He deadpanned, blue eyes flat.

“As an engine failure, Max.” She shrugged. “Because Sky took umbrage to what you said, the FIA are penalizing you for breaking the sporting code. So your punishment is to do the grid walk before the race today or get a 10-place grid penalty.” 

“Ten places is just exorbitant.” Max tch’d.

“You said that Sky are a bunch of wankers sucking off the stewards who don’t care about real racing on a hot mic.” It was Vicky’s turn to be deadpan. “I’ve seen no less than ten tiktoks with that audio.”

“Of course, I will just take the grid drop then.” Max shrugged, folding his arms. 

“I already spoke to Hannah and GP and they strongly suggest just doing the grid walk. You only have to talk about the car and four celebs. That's it.” She bartered, Max tch’d again.

“This is ridiculous. I, of course, am still correct about their caring about real racing.” He complained.

“There’s like a bunch of celebs on the grid, just talk to four you don’t know then you can jump in the car and drive.” 

“Fine.”

“And no cursing or calling anyone an idiot.”

“.....fine.”

— - —

Max stood in front of the cameraperson and producer, glaring down the lens with this flat bitchface pout. His racing suit was done up, post anthem, Martin stood beside him grinning gleefully. 

“Hello Max, lovely of you to join us today on the grid walk.” Martin sounded chuffed and Max wanted to bite him.

���Lovely to be here Martin.” Max smiled in the way he did when he was forced to do stupid marketing videos. He saw Vicky biting her manicured thumb out of the corner of his eyes. Martin was rambling on about something and then pointed to Max expectantly. 

Max looked at him for a moment before turning and walking away. He stood in the path of someone trying to take a picture in front of the Ferrari that was lined up beside his RB20.

“Hello, who are you?” Max asked, pressing the mic in their direction. The yet to be named celebrity did a double take before smiling widely in excitement. 

“You are Max! Stellar driving yesterday man!”

“Lovely. Thank you.” Max turned and walked away, the producer and cameraperson rushed to catch up with him. “That is one.” Max muttered before stopping again beside a woman.

“Hello, who are you?” He asked again. The blonde woman smiled.

“Hello Max, my name is Margot Robbie, big fan.”

Max smiled a little, “oh you are Australian? Daniel is also Australian. Lovely.” Max walked away.

“You are supposed to interview them, talk about the cars.” A producer said in his ear, Max shook his head– no one said anything about interviews. 

“That is two.” Max said instead. He walked towards his car and pointed to it. “This is my car. It is lovely, we are of course on pole today.” He turned and pointed to the gleaming red Ferrari. “Charles is p2.” He turned around again and waved to the cars behind them. “Of course, all of the other cars are there. I, of course, cannot go all the way back there because it is almost race time and this is st– Daniel qualified p5, lovely for him. Hello Daniel.” Max grinned when Daniel stopped beside him and tugged his headphones off his ears.

“Hello Maximus, have they finally recruited you for Sky?” Daniel joked and Max laughed.

“You know they are always trying.” 

“Don’t stay too long on this side gig yeah, can’t have you doing all these side quests and still winning everything.” Daniel winked and patted Max’s shoulder before walking off. Max watched him go with a blushy head tilt, touching where Daniel touched him.

The producer cleared their throat in Max’s ear, his bitchpout returned. “That is three.” Max muttered.

“That doesn’t count, he’s a driver.”

“Daniel, of course, is also a celebrity.” Max pointed out before stopping infront of someone else. “Hello, who are you?”

“Good afternoon Max, Barack Obama here–”

“Lovely. That is four.” Max turned to the camera and raised a brow. Martin popped up beside him, melting out of the crowd. The cameraperson turned to him just as Vicky and three other RedBull personnel came to stand beside Max. 

Max yanked the headphones off of his ears and turned away, he nodded at Barack Obama and walked over to his car to complain to GP. 

Max won the race by 40 seconds and ignored all Sky Sports questions in the pressers.

[arathejedi394]

tiny crack fic

"Your mother's name was Sarah," Barnes croaks. "You used to wear newspapers in your shoes."

"Okay," Steve whispers.

"Hold up!" Sam cuts in. "He knows your mom's name and that you used to wear newspapers in your shoes? And that's enough? Everybody knows those things!"

"He was my punk," Barnes then adds. "I was his wolf."

"Bucky!" Steve gasps, shocked for some reason.

"Huh?" Sam says.

"What?" Barnes asks of Steve. "It don't mean the same thing now as it used to!"

"You can't just say that!" Steve insists.

"What?" Sam pushes.

"Nothing," Steve insists.

"Used to mean whore," Barnes says.

"Bucky!" Steve gasps again.

"What?" Barnes answers.

"What," Sam responds. He blinks several times. "What."

"Whore," Barnes confirms. "A queer boy for rent, yannow."

"RENT?" Sam bursts out. "What the hell! What's a wolf then!"

"Used to be a punk's pimp," Barnes adds.

Sam gawks at Steve. Steve is blushing very hard.

"Had to gag you when I made love to you, too," Barnes adds. "You'd scream your pretty lungs out if you could."

"Okay, that's enough," Sam decides with a wave of his hand. "You shut up."

"Don't be homophobic," Barnes scolds.

"I'm getting a divorce," Steve sighs.

"You can't divorce me, I'm legally dead," Barnes answers.

"Huh?" Sam whispers.

"I'll divorce you if I want," Steve counters.

"You -- you can't be legally married," Sam says.

"Only sorta," Bucky says. "Dressed him up in a wedding gown and a veil back in 1935, used fake papers, hitched him up good."

Sam leaves.

[prokopetz]

It just occurred to me that, assuming Bram Stoker's Dracula takes place roughly in the year of its publication, John Harvey Kellogg is coicidentally about the same age as Abraham van Helsing, and now there's a crackfic I'm genuinely upset I'll never have time to write.

[sevs-corner]

Masterlist + Taglist!

Links to all my works so far:

>> CoD:

~~Tf 141: Mafia AU!

OG Idea behind the AU

Main Story Chapters:

-Chapter 1: The Rain Falls but They Fell Harder

-Chapter 1: Epilogue

-Chapter 2: Jobless? More like Job-Bless

-Chapter 2: Epilogue

-Chapter 3: Home Not-So-Sweet Home

-Chapter 3: Epilogue

-Chapter 4: Its Happy Hour for Them, Not For You

-Chapter 4: Epilogue (WIP)

Assorted One-Shots/Imagines/Short Fic Ideas:

-Small Gift Giving: Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz

-Another day at the Bakery w/: Graves, Alejandro

-First Date + Gift w/: Price

-Idea: Soap/ You sing the "Masochism Tango" together!

-Random HCs of the Charas: Food + Drink Preferences!

-First Date + Gifts w/: Ghost

-Them doing the small things for You: Gaz, Ghost, Graves, Alejandro, Rudy, Soap, Price, Konig, Horangi

-They take you out for a picnic for being overworked: Soap, Ghost, Gaz, Price

-They watch you get drunk and sing: Price, Alejandro, Rudy

-Nursing their Hangovers: Price, Ghost, Gaz, Soap

-They notice you opening up to them: Price, Ghost, Gaz, Soap

Taglist! <3

@ astreaaaaaa6 | @ accidental-obsessionist | @ sunshineistoofuckingbright | @ sleepisfortheweakpooh

~~One-Shots/ Other AUs

-Singing a Christmas Song duet w/: Graves

-Tf 141: Actor AU!: Ghost, Soap, Alejandro, Rudy, Price, Gaz, Alex, Farah, Graves

-HC's for Roach if he were in the current CoD: MW

-HC's if Roach was in CoD MW (2019~2023) Campaign

-Tf 141: Superpower/Superhuman AU!: Soap, Ghost, Gaz, Price, Roach, Alex

-Tf 141: Navy/ Airforce AU!: Soap, Ghost, Gaz, Price

-Tf 141 as Savy Playboy Navy boys: Soap, Ghost, Gaz, Price

-Love at First Sight w/: Price

-Tf 141: Soulmate-Reincarnation AU Idea

-cont idea + part 2 👆by: @ persephone-kore-law

-bridging thoughts on 👆

-Graves as your partner (*yaps)

-Drag Racer! Soap and his Tf 141 crew

-Tf 141 as Demi god

-Tf 141: Transformers AU (Age of Extinction)

-Tf 141 and their s/o having auditory sensory issues

-Tf 141: Soulmate-Reincarnation AU- first impressions (yaps*)

-Your Conspiracy on Tf 141's Lavender Marriage (an inspired idea to @ beloveds-embrace's Lavender Marriage AU )

-Tf 141 as Cursed Dragon Princes

Army! Tf 141 vs Navy! Reader

-Challenge 1: Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy (WIP)

Tf 141 and Their Marriage Problems With You (Mini Series | Angst to Comfort)

-Price | Ghost

Tf 141: as Highschool Jock Tropes: Soap, Ghost, Gaz, Price [18+ MDNI !! TW: NSFW Themes | Toxicity | Unhealthy r/s] {Inspo Playlist: Currently Updating}

- How the toxic relationship would be like with them

-Promposal Edition!

> Asks:

(Jock! Price First Impressions)

(Giving Simon a Mixtape)

(Simon and You as a Goth Rocker)

(Tf 141's POV of Your and Simon relationship)

Taglist! <3

@ cod-z

CoD x (Soldier) Reader: Retired Comfy AU (Everyone lives under 1 roof + Everything is platonic and has silly plot points)

-Part 1: How did it happen?: Soap, Ghost, Gaz, Price

-Part 2: Moving into the house: Soap, Ghost, Gaz, Price

Tf 141: Betrayal AU! (Follows the main campaign plot)

-OG Idea on the premise

-How the betrayal goes (+rant on plot of MW3)

-How the poly relationship between the four exists in MW2-3 (yaps*)

Tf 141: On the Run AU (Based off @/bluegiragi Tf 141 Monster AU) TW: 18+ | MDNI

-OG Idea on the premise

-First Meeting w/: Soap

-You realize you chose to be stuck with them

[unluckycryptid]

Popcorn Shrimp

Read on Ao3

Summary: Chloe didn’t know Red had a shrimp allergy. Neither did Red.

AKA My attempt at Glassheart Crackfic

—

“Hmm, that’s an interesting taste.”

Chloe looked over at Red with a confused face.

She had just grabbed the two of them some food from the dining hall in the midst of their studying session and brought it back to their shared dorm. Red hadn’t told her what to grab, just telling the blue haired girl to ‘surprise her’ and had gone back to looking over a chemistry question that had been causing Chloe some trouble. The red haired girl was still at it when Chloe had come back with a variety of different foods they had been serving in the dining hall. Red had taken one of the takeout containers—the one filled with popcorn shrimp—and immediately started snacking on it while Chloe was busy laying out the rest of the food between them.

“What do you mean?” asked Chloe.

“Is it supposed to be—I dunno—spicy?” Red shrugged as she grabbed for another popcorn shrimp.

“Huh?”

‘Was Red talking about the marinara sauce?’ Chloe wondered, but it wasn’t laid out anywhere in front of them. Looking around, she spotted the little container still in the bag she had brought all of their food in.

“It’s an itchy sort of spicy, like I can feel it in the back of my throat. Can’t say I’ve ever had food like that before. Is that unique to Auradon?”

Oh no.

In less than a heartbeat, Chloe crossed whatever distance there was between her and Red and smacked the fried shrimp appetizer out of her hand.

“Wha- Hey! Mmmhf!!” Red exclaimed mid-bite when her blue haired roommate turned and stuck her hand in Red’s mouth. Chloe retracted her hand and hurled the shrimp that she had just been eating across the room.

Red felt two hands grab her face as Chloe looked her up and down with an urgency.

“Did you swallow?”

“Excuse me?”

“Red, did you swallow the shrimp? Yes or no?”

“Yea—”

Red couldn’t even get the full word out before she found herself being thrown over the shoulder of one Chloe Charming.

“Chloe! What the actual fuck is going o—owww!”

The blue haired girl had started running and accidentally smacked Red’s head into the door frame on the way out of their dorm.

But Chloe seemed to ignore her, instead opting to scream at other people in the hallway to move out of the way.

Everyone did. It’s not everyday you’d see the usually polite and demure Princess of Cinderellasburg cussing out anyone in her way while full-sprinting down the hallway with the Crown Princess of Wonderland yelling every sort of explicative known to man on her shoulder.

Principal Uma’s office was much closer than the infirmary on the other side of campus, so Chloe opted for there instead. Chloe practically kicked the door down while shouting, “Principal Uma!! We need medical help!”

“Chloe Cordelia Grace Charming, you put me down right now!”

“Girls!” exclaimed Uma who had been enjoying a peaceful night behind her desk up until now.

Chloe basically threw Red down on one of the couches as she rushed to explain, “Shrimp! Red— s-she ate shrimp!”

“What the hell, Chloe!”

“Charming, I may be from the sea, but that does not mean you get to waste my time—”

“She’s allergic! Red’s allergic!” Chloe cried in defense as she pointed to the girl on the couch, “She said the shrimp felt itchy.”

All eyes turned on Red.

Now that she mentioned it, Red did feel like she was having some trouble breathing.

“Stick her.” The Principal grabbed an Epipen from a desk drawer and threw it at Chloe.

“Wha—”

The next thing Red knew, there was a sharp needle stuck in her thigh. Red looked up slowly at Chloe, both of their mouths open in shock.

“I’m so sorry!”

“Oh you little—!”

“No time for that. Ms. Charming, grab Ms. Hearts and follow me. We’re taking the magic carpet to Auradon hospital.”

“Chloe, don’t you dare pick me up again!”

“Sorry Red, Principal Uma’s orders!”

“Nonono—ghhhuuhh!”

——

“Oh my sweet darling rose! I’m so so sorry that I never thought of getting you checked for seafood allergies. Are you alright?” Bridget, the Queen of Wonderland, asked as she ran to her daughter’s side.

Red sat under the covers of the hospital bed, clearly not wanting to be there. The doctors were strongly encouraging her to stay and be monitored overnight. Of course, that meant she was going to stay the night at the hospital in this itchy gown.

“Yeah, mom, I’m fine,” Red grumbled before she was pulled into a bone crushing hug by Bridget. It was still so weird to Red that she had such an affectionate mother now.

“Moooommm, you’re embarrassing me.”

In the corner of the hospital room, sat her roommate and Principal Uma. The two stood up at Bridget’s arrival.

“Thank you again, Principal Uma, for bringing my daughter here as urgently as you could.”

“No need to thank me, Queen Bridget, just doing my job,” the Principal said as the two started walking towards the entrance.

Bridget turned towards the blue haired princess, “And, Chloe, thank you for calling and telling me everything.”

“Just let me choke next time.”

All three pairs of eyes rolled at the same time.

“Tell your mother I said hi for me, alright?” Bridget continued, giving Chloe a quick hug.

“Of course, Aunt Bridget,” said Chloe as she stepped away to join Uma at the doorway. She waved at Red.

“Bye, Red, and get back soon. Wouldn’t want this incident to shrimpede your studies.”

“You’ve been working on that one for a while now, haven’t you?”

“Why yes, yes I was.”

“Get out.”

“Alright.”

[lichenes]

#1 dad(dy)

based on those tweets/tumblr posts: ⓪ ① ② ③ ④ ⑤ ⑥ ⑦ CW: mentions of smoking, actor au wc: 571 .  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚ .  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚.  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚.  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚.  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚

The sound of clapperboard was heard as the day of filming began. “Today, due to immense demand, Gabriel Fouché, will be reading your thirst tweets!” Said the director with a bright smile. A part of the contract with the studio recording “Arcane” was to take part in a few interviews, this one was a bit- unusual for him. 

“RIP to Silco, you would’ve loved vaping ‘bandaged heart’, you would’ve been doing crazy smoke tricks on tiktok ‘R. N’.” He chuckled. “What does R, N mean?” Laughs could be heard behind the cameras. Someone answered. “Right now.” Gabriel nodded. 

“Well I did have to learn how to smoke cigars and do tricks with the smoke for the role. I do have to admit I am a habitual cigarette smoker so it was infinitely easier to master the art.” He paused for a moment. “As for the tiktok tricks - I’m a jughead when it comes to technology so unless there would be someone doing all the recording… you aren’t seeing those videos any time soon.” 

“The children yearn for the mines, and my photo underneath it.” He burst out laughing, putting his hand on his mouth. “Ahahah- okay, okay. Yeah they do.” 

“I think about this Silco moment every day, my god he’s so hot here.” Gabriel tilted his head. “Hmm… it seems most fans of Silco find him most attractive when he’s kicking the camera. I wonder why.” He put his hand on his chin in faux thought and then laughed.

“Sorry but older Silco ‘greater-than’ young Silco. I actually have to disagree on that.” He said. “Younger Silco was in one scene and he captured so many hearts, both on set and amongst the viewers, that Older Silco didn’t manage to do with all his screen time. Younger Silco is something special…” 

“Hashtag Zaundads, actually!” Gabriel got closer to the camera and put his hand to his mouth almost as to whisper a secret. “Me and Gerard actually kissed to prepare for the alternate universe episode, to really get into character, you know.” Gasps were heard in the studio. “I’m joking.” He said winking towards the camera.

“Silco’s left eye is missing eyelids so I guess he was sleeping like this every night. Exactly what happened I can attest to that.” He nodded solemnly. “Actually, SIlco just doesn’t sleep ever, that’s how he runs Zaun, he does not let his guard down even for a moment. Poor guy, he needs to relax more.” 

“P, L, S - please, I assume? - Stop posting Silco thirst he looks like my dad, and a comment left under that, is your dad single? I’d love to meet my doppelganger! Send me a message and we shall schedule it.” He said half-joking as an email popped up on the screen. 

“And the final one- okay who the hell was all over my dash two years ago thirsting over Silco, I understand you now. I want his whole wardrobe and he can read the dictionary to me until I fall asleep. I actually have a deal to voice a certain someone in a new project we’ve been working on with the cast so keep your eyes open!” He said. “And as for my wardrobe, I’ve seen some pretty talented people replicating my outfits! So it’s clearly easy to steal Silco’s wardrobe.” 

“Thank you all for watching!!” He exclaimed with his million dollar smile as the cameras stopped rolling.

.  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚ .  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚.  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚.  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚.  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚

masterlist

[fic-dumpster]

Do yall think that someone in tr worked as a delivery driver? Like idk mitsuya? the haitani’s!!! Going around town with their bikes delivering food and stuff? And they had the worst reviews.

User1974 said: my food came half eaten and the short one asked to use the bathroom and took my decorative soaps.

Usercatsrock said: they threw my Big Mac against the door! [ring doorbell video attached] they didn’t even stop! Just zoomed pass and launched it!

one day they noticed someone ordering the same meal every day and it seemed to be an easy job. They took that delivery. Once you opened your door that was it. Both got instantly flabbergasted by your pretty face.

“Do you really need two people to deliver orange chicken?” Your question came a bit harsh, but with reason. You had opened the door and tried to get your food order but the two guys stood frozen in your entrance. It was weirding you out. “Hello?”

“Dumbass, give her the paper bag,” Ran snapped out first and quickly pushed his brother closer to your extended hand.

Rindou flustered by his brother’s reaction just handed you the bag, cursing under his breath.

“You’re welc—“

You slammed the door in that moment. The pair just gave you a really bad vibe. besides you were hungry and they had been late by an hour.

“She’s gonna order the same tomorrow,” Rindou told Ran, both still staring at the door.

“Yeah.”

“We’re coming back, right?”

“Of course,” Ran replied with a plan already forming in his head.

As they walked back to their bike, Rindou offered some candies to Ran which he accepted without looking. Soon a bitter and metallic flavor assaulted his mouth.

“Rindou, what the fuck?!?!” Ran angrily spit out the colorful bead, “that’s soap!!!”

[vixstarria]

Kinktober Day 23 - Body Swapping

For every day of the month of October I will be posting a little snippet following prompts listed in this post. Most of these will not be full fics, but rather short snippets, set-ups, and, in a few cases, copied bits and pieces of fics I have already published. But, if there is a lot of interest and feedback on any of the snippets, they might just evolve into full fics, so keep that in mind.

Disclaimer: Tell me this isn't exactly how this would go, I fkn dare you.

“We’ll have about an hour. Are you ready?”

The scroll had cost a small fortune on the black market, came with no guarantees, and was illegal to possess to begin with. The vendor claimed it would fully swap their bodies. Not just provide illusionary images of one another - completely switch them, sensations, abilities, weaknesses and all.

“Do it.”

Asmodea braced herself and used the scroll before she could change her mind.

She was immediately struck by the heightened richness of her senses - she already had perfect half-elven eyesight before, but now everything she laid her eyes on was clearer to a degree she had never realised was possible. She could make out the most minute sounds from afar. Her sense of smell seemed to have gained a new dimension.

It worked! By the gods, the scroll actually worked…

After a few dazed seconds, she realised that her mouth had been gaping in awe, and she shut it. A fang immediately snagged on her inner lip, piercing it. Asmodea yelped in surprise, tonguing the cut. Within seconds, it healed completely. She carefully opened and shut her mouth again - the fangs feeling unnatural and obtrusive in her mouth.

“Godth,” she lisped, trying to get the hang of working her mouth despite the fangs. “How long did it take to get used to thith?” No answer followed, and she looked questioningly at Astarion, who was wearing her body.

He had stayed completely still, barely breathing, hardly blinking. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her, she realised.

Oh. Right.

“Come now, you’ve seen your mirror images,” she said, softly. “This shouldn’t be a shock.”

“They didn’t quite convey the… the finer details,” Astarion said, absentmindedly, continuing to stare.

Asmodea quelled her urge to cringe at the sound of her own voice, and instead did a little spin with a flourish, and flashed him her best imitation of his devilish grin.

“And what do you think?”

“I think you have excellent taste, darling” Astarion smiled, before finally tearing his eyes away from his own image. “Anyway. Let’s not waste time.”

Their clothes were quickly discarded.

“Do you want me to touch you..?”

“Not yet, just let me see for myself first… Gods, you may as well be half-deaf and blind, but I need to gorge myself on blood before my skin gets even close to this level of sensation…”

Astarion was careful and methodical, almost scientific in the way he glided his fingers over his female flesh, repeating the motions he’d performed on her countless times - no doubt making mental notes of the sensations and filing them away for later use.

Meanwhile, Asmodea was gyrating her hips, trying to get her penis to spin like the sails of a windmill.

“You need to be more aroused to get a proper idea of how that feels,” she said, watching him.

“In due course,” he murmured. “…And will you stop that?”

“In due course,” she mimicked him, looking him square in the eyes, the penis continuing to fly.

He sighed and resumed his efforts, his fingers slipping inside, probing and searching. He frowned in concentration.

“You really can’t reach it yourself,” he said thoughtfully.

“Yes, I’ve told you that,” she rolled her eyes. “But while we’re err… exploring uncharted territories and all… Can you finger my ass real quick?” she asked, turning her back to him.

“Finger your own ass,” he muttered, “I’m busy.”

She half-turned to look back at him over her shoulder, conjuring up the saddest, roundest eyes she could manage. Astarion swore under his breath as soon as he looked up at her.

“I had no idea it was that effective,” he muttered. “Fine! I’ll scratch yours, if you scratch mine... Is there any oil anywhere..?”

My Kinktober masterlist and prompts post

[your-local-baguette]

Funny moments as sanemi's wife

Warnings: not proofread, cursing and more. Fem!reader, proceed at your own risk. Sexual reference

Your daughter was sitting on your lap while sanemi was sitting next to you. The other hashiras conversing, a high pitched voice suddenly interrupted the conversation " mommy, what's a hooker ?" Everybody froze, your five year old looked up at you curiously. You looked at your husband with a forced smile. He side-eyed you "what ?" Your eye twitched "you're not safe when we're getting home" he looked at you "as if you could hurt me-" "don't play with fire shinaguzawa"

'shit' sanemi said in his head, if you calling him sanemi is bad then shinaguzawa....

He swore to never provoke you ever again.

--------------------------------------------------

You felt a palm on your butt, your head made a slow turn towards your husband who gave it a slap. You blinked slowly at him, you didn't even have the ghost of a smile on your face. You flipped him off and walked away.

--------------------------------------------------

You started coughing a little "my throat is sore.." you in said a quiet voice. Sanemi glanced at you "sucked my dick too much last night ?" Your mouth was slightly agape, while some other hashira were looking (muichiro isn't here) the ghost of a smirk was quick to disappear from your face. "Weren't you moaning like a bitch last night ?" The conversation ended and sanemi was grumpy at you the rest of the day. "Get a taste of your own medicine" you said rolling your eyes playfully.

--------------------------------------------------

I'm back in my demon slayer phase lol.

If you want more crack like this you can always suggest scenarios.

Love u byye!

[playedcrowd5610]

"Danny has decided to call this Decepticon warship his new haunt, now he is having the time of his afterlife messing with these guys.  Especially when they try so hard to get rid of him. Why leave now? He doesn’t even have to pay rent. "

Ao3, FFn.net, Wattpad