#by pudding the dog ofc

[ewamosaart]

back to physical media

[wayfayrr]

Hello!

If it's alright with you, can I get a spiked Latte and some Christmas pudding to eat in please?

I absolutely love your writings and all of your works! You're definitely one of my favorite authors (*´꒳`*)

I hope you have a great day/night and a Happy Holiday!

- 𐂂 anon (if that's okay with you ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ)

it's more than alright!! welcome to this little corner of our hellsite elk!! (if you don't mind me calling you that ofc) I've seen you over on fir's blog assuming this is the same 𐂂 and it's lovely to meet you myself, I hope you're having a lovely day too <3

I wrote this one as a continuation to the other first request seeing as it flowed well and felt like the most natural thing to do. I hope you'll enjoy your order and your time here <3

[event masterlist]

“My deity? Is this not to your taste, did - did I do something wrong?”

What am I supposed to say to that? I feel like I’m about to throw up or pass out, not to mention the countless things in between. He’s standing in front of me with a bloody heart, all the while looking at me like a puppy begging for approval. 

“You - wh- where-”

don’tpassoutdon’tpassoutdon’tpassoutDON’TPASSOUT

[name] if you pass out here then none of the links will be able to help you, you cannot pass out. Just - just ask him to get rid of it, but he looked so proud of it. 

“Ple- please can you just… I don’t need that, can you… just - please get rid of it.”

He seemed dejected when I said that but he -thankfully- didn’t question it. Just left without another word with a defeated look on his face now leaving me all alone to settle myself enough to try get some sleep. Just - just have to get the image of that out of my head,  else I might never be able to sleep till I do. Maybe the others wouldn’t mind me going to share a room with one of them for the night but there’s always the chance they won’t let me live this down they have gone through worse than I have after all. No, it’s not worth the chance of embarrassing yourself infront of them like that, you’re fine in here on your own all you need to do is get changed and get into bed it’s easy; what chance will you have to get in a normal bed again anyway?

Going through the familiar motions of getting changed is grounding, calming even, throwing myself onto the bed and wrapping myself up in the plush blanket just helps even more. Falling asleep really won’t be hard. 

Mhpm why am I up? It’s not that much darker so I can’t have been asleep for much more than half an hour or so and I’ve never been a light sleeper like this. Who’s in the bed with me?

There’s a hand around you - look at that and then panic. Why is it cove-

“...First?”

“My deity? I thought you were sleeping?”

“And I - I - you… I - didn’t you say - didn’t I ask you to get rid of the blood?”

Oh fuck. Why is he holding me tighter now and… he’s sobbing. My back’s getting wet but it's not blood I hope, he’s just using me as a - a pillow. What did hylia do to him to mess him up this badly? From what he said before…she had to have something to do with why he’s like this. He can’t even breathe through his tears right now…

“Firs- link. Can we talk about - you know - all of this?”

Just more tears and half-hearted breaths. Is he forcing himself to be like this? Maybe if I can hold him it’ll help comfort him somehow. He- he has surprisingly strong arms considering, you shouldn’t be surprised, he probably beat that man to death with his bare hands, the fact that he was tortured and starved in a dungeon for who knows how long. 

“If not now… In the morning at least? Please?” 

A pout and a wet sniffle while he wipes his eyes to calm himself. 

“You know acting like this - it isn’t healthy. I - you can’t go around gifting me peoples hearts - that - that is not normal.”

“... if you say I must my deity.”

I’ll take it. 

Even with the puppy dog eyes he’s making at me.

[geraldthellama]

Bowuigi Corpse Bride AU Lore Post

So I said I would probably make this and while I thought about making this into a fanfic and making ya'll read that, I decided that I need to commit to the other three (two and a half?) Mario fanfic ideas I have. So if anyone wants to make a full blown fic or whatever with this AU, feel free (but tag me ofc because I've got to see it).

(This will not be short, just a quick warning that this is a commitment).

This AU is very loosely based off the actual movie. Instead of them being in the underworld, they're just in a haunted house that Boo lost to Bowser in a game of poker, and instead of being a corpse (as the name suggests), Luigi is just a slightly annoying boo. Him and Polterpup are the only ones that inhabit the mansion, and, with the house completely abandoned, it's probably going to stay that way.

In this world, ghosts only stay after some massive traumatic death. Problem is, Luigi has no recollection of how he died, he just knows he hit his head and a little while later awoke, a ghost that's unable to be seen, heard, and is completely alone as a newly-deceased. Aside from the yipping ghost dog at his feet (Luigi has always been afraid of both ghosts and dogs).

As a ghost, Luigi originally spawns (spawns?) into this world with little ghostly abilities. Living beings can't see or hear him and he doesn't have the power to manipulate objects or people in any way. He is essentially a specter, watching the lives of other people for years until, eventually, it's abandoned, and the Peasley family mansion (one of many, that is) is gambled away to King Boo.

But, King Boos already got his own slew of creepy haunted mansions, and, frankly, this one is haunted by a ghost he can't stand. A ghost that hasn't been able to speak to someone for around a decade. A chatty ghost that hasn't been able to speak to someone for over a decade. He's not exactly torn up about parting with it.

Bowser, the poor thing, is on attempt...

Attempt... 2 hundred... something.

(at least 4 proposals a year, for around 20 years... that's...)

Let's just say, Peach does and has not wanted Bowser for a long ass time, and it really doesn't help his self esteem that he's still being thwarted by a plumber that's old enough to be his dad and uses a cane. He really can't understand what Peach sees in him, especially considering she still looks like a youthful 20/30-something into her 60s. Frankly, it's unfair. He's got money, kids (some really awesome ones too), power, looks (he thinks so at least), and isn't 3 pudding cups away from dementia.

What he hasn't got, until right now at least, is an awesome mansion, specially built for human(oid) creatures. Maybe she just didn't like gothic castle architecture? Maybe, as Boo suggests, he just has to get her scared enough to fall into his arms for safety. He's got this all planned out.

Boo did not specify that the "ghostly inhabitants" of this mansion were a hyperactive ghost dog and naive plumber. He didn't think it was important information at the time.

So, when Bowser is plotting and practice-proposes (does he really need more practice?) to the striking blue eyes of a, surprisingly, human painting, the last thing he expects is to be met with a ghoulish grin.

Barely ghoulish, because, god, the thing is bright. The smile and the bio-(bio?)-luminescent energy it's attached to. For a ghost who's wearing bloodied bandages and has been dead for 30 lonely years, he's surprisingly optimistic.

"Really?! And you're not even a boo!" :D

He's very optimistic, in fact, because he's willing to believe that this complete stranger might just be his ticket out of this wall-papered purgatory. He died meeting up with his forbidden love, after all, so it must be a sign. He does not hesitate to shove that ring on his finger, even if his new fiance looks hesitant (he might be naive enough to go with it, but he's not blind). He's convinced the two will make it work.

Luigi is... very tired of looking at the same things everyday. Now, he can attach to his new fiance, who's only slightly hesitant to engage with him, (and is not bad looking at all, in Luigi's opinion). Together, the two can actually have a life together. Luigi was only 25 when he died, and he was far too shy then to do any adventuring. The most rebellious thing the man had ever done was sneak out.

Man, look where that ended him.

For Luigi, this is his opportunity to live the life he wasted was robbed of.

And the guys got kids! How awesome is that?

Bowser is not liking the new pets at his side. One never stops yipping and yapping and one is a dog. Luigi is... fine. From a distance. The problem is that they physically can't get any. As long as Luigi is attached to him, consider them hand cuffed. This stupid, green boo is crimping his style, and any game he had with Peach is virtually ruined when he's got his "fiance" clinging to his side like he's the best thing since breathing air.

At least Luigi appreciates his kids. The ghost obviously has some taste (of course he does, he chose him for pete's sake), and Junior and the rest seem to like the ghoul enough... Even if Junior isn't completely sure that Luigi is a ghoul. Both Luigi and Junior agree that boos are scary.

Maybe, after some hard self-reflection (with Luigi close and present, of course), and some growing emotional intimacy and openness, Bowser begins to kind of, perhaps tolerate Luigi. Just a little. Just enough to find his stupid quirks endearing and just enough to start to think that maybe he's always been too good for Peach, anyway. Maybe he should be with someone who appreciates him and loves his family. It's not like her and Mario had ever had kids in their relationship, and her not wanting kids is kind of a deal breaker.

Bowser's newfound attention on Luigi is driving everyone else nuts, though. Boos barely seen the man since his unfortunate run in with the green leach and no one else at their poker table is any good. At this rate, Boos not even satisfied winning Peasley's riches off him anymore. Occasionally, a guy just wants to lose, y'know? Boo hates only one thing more than Peasley whining about the consequences of his gambling addiction, and that's boredom. He misses when the Koopa King spent all his time plotting against the old-ass plumber. At least then he showed his face at their meetings.

And when Boo finally brings up his grievances, because he deserves to rant, Peasley seems... nervous. Boo loves nervousness.

"There's a... human boo... in the mansion I gave you..?"

"One, you didn't give it to me, you lost, fair and square. Two, yeah, and he's just about the chattiest thing I've ever met. All dressed up in a white suit, the pretentious-"

At that, Peasley turns about as pale as a ghost. Well, if that were possible, considering he's a legume. Suddenly, he's got some important things he has to do somewhere else.

This poker table is looking weak.

When Peasley asks Bowser to meet at the mansion, Bowser warns he can't come alone. It's a stretch to get the green ghost to go back with him, and as much as Bowser wants to tell him "you're coming with me, whether you like it or not", he can't bring himself to say it. Instead, he convinces Luigi that it's a quick stay. Essentially, a welfare visit on the old house and a quick meeting with an old friend. Luigi's narrowly convinced.

Stepping back onto that porch brings back a lot of old memories for the human. Few of them anything good in retrospect.

But he does want to see his painting again. He always did cherish that painting. He's sure Bowser will too, right?

Is that painting a good memory for Bowser? He wonders.

It was all those years ago that a young Peasley gifted him that painting. Like him, he had been optimistic and in love. Even if his rich, snobby parents weren't a fan of the human, they had an entire life ahead of them. Peasley had made him a beautiful painting. It was the one part of the house Luigi felt was his. A good memory.

He never expected to be greeted by the same image he had all those years ago. Peasley, now older, stood in front of the painting. His face now wasn't proud or love-struck or whatever expression he had had then (Luigi can barely remember Peasley's face until just now), he looked somber. It was a rare occasion that Luigi wasn't green, and his teal glow seemed to throw Bowser off.

And divert Peasley's attention away from the miserable painting and over to the ghost, who was nervously twiddling his thumbs with a sympathetic look in his eyes.

It's not long before Bowser realizes that this meeting was never about him, and he feels more awkward than anything else...

Except that Polterpup has been on edge since the moment he saw the bean (now) king. Has he ever seen the dog not wag it's tail at someone?

Immediately, the older man apologizes. Things were never meant to end up how they did. He tried his best to help when he could.

Luigi's not angry, how could he be? Luigi's fall was an accident.

Peasley says he didn't know Luigi had stuck around, and if he had, he thinks he would have done things differently. He would have at least had the place cleaned instead of just letting it rot.

(So Peasley abandon the mansion? The perfectly good mansion for no reason, leaving Luigi alone.)

And, of course, Peasley's sorry for not telling Mario or his parents about what happened to him.

(HUH?)

He insisted that he waited for hours with Luigi, hoping he'd recover with enough gauze. The man told him it was a lost cause. If he could have saved him, he would have.

Hours?

"I was unconscious for hours?"

It came out as barely a whisper.

"I stayed almost the entire night. As long as I could."

Bowser didn't know boos could turn so many colors, especially that quickly. Bowser didn't think Luigi even had it in him to be anything less than smiley, especially completely enraged.

Luigi had never been more angry in his life (death).

Even Peasley's insistence that "You don't understand what they'd have done to me if they'd known I went against their wishes!" fell on deaf ears.

When Luigi's aura finally finished raving, Peasley had backed away from the now red ghost. Again, Luigi recognized the position they were in;

One of them backing up, away from the painting and towards the basement stairs. How could Peasley forget that door never closed all the way? It had only been the exact thing that killed Luigi 30 years ago. The exact thing that, of course, Peasley hadn't fixed.

Luigi swears he didn't push him, even in that state. Bowser believes him, only because the still angry and unaware Luigi yelled angrily down the stairs: "You better not die here, because I'll make your death hell!"

If they both hadn't just watched Peasley fucking die, Bowser would have kinda been into it.

It took Luigi a second to realize that even if his own fall had been an unlucky hit, Peasley wasn't 25 anymore. And he wasn't responding. His red hue didn't last long, especially when Polterpup no longer seems threatened (and Bowser notices that the bean king no longer seems to be breathing).

"What did I do?"

Bowser suggests fleeing the crime scene, which normally isn't his move, but he'd rather not be tied to the murder of a fellow royal. Luigi shakes his head.

This is his fault. And as angry as he still is at Peasley, he can't flee what he's done. Not in a right conscience. Not like what Peasley did to him. Luigi suffered enough sitting in that mansion alone for 30 years, and, as much as revenge tastes sweet, a small part of him still cares. Had he lived, Peasley and him would have had a life after all.

But he hadn't lived, did he.

Bowser can't remember a time ever seeing Luigi's color look quite as dull as it did then.

Playing with his engagement ring, Luigi thinks back on the part of the man he loved. Peasley never did buy him the ring, like he had hoped. Luigi remembers getting himself all excited over the possibility of a scenic proposal as they walked through the flower garden of the mansion. He had gifted him a painting. Which was almost as good.

He couldn't even count how many times he had stood and looked at that painting, thinking:

Was it worth it?

An apprehensive smile comes onto his face. A nostalgic smile. A somber one.

Doesn't really matter, does it? He'd never know if it was worth it in the end. This was how it ended up. Luigi had always believed that fate is what had brought him and Peasley together, considering everything else had lined them up for failure. Fate was what brought him here. What kept him here.

Who is he to drag down others?

He returns Bowser's ring.

"I'm sorry."

Bowser never deserved to have him weigh him down.

"I wasted my life chasing after a family I never got, and then spent my death doing the exact same thing."

Bowser awkwardly matches Luigi's bitter laugh.

"I lived my life, be it a short one, but you deserve to live yours."

Luigi pats the ring on his hand.

"I hope she likes it." He smiles. He means it. Peach sounds wonderful.

Tears prick Bowser's eyes, and all because...

He never did tell Luigi about him and Peach, did he? He can't help but laugh. Tears streaming down his face kinda laugh. The laugh you only get once a year kind of laugh.

"You spent, what? Maybe five non-consecutive years chasing after a family? Try twenty!"

Luigi's eyebrow goes up. This is supposed to be a super emotional goodbye and this goobers laughing? On about his conquest to marry Peach (who, apparently, is already married) and make his picturesque life. Luigi can't help but laugh, because it's so stupid that Bowser's laughing about this right now.

"Her and her stupid, human, mustachioed husband Mario have been kicking my ass for decades. I promise you, boo, you weren't ever getting in the way of anything."

Mario?!

"Mario?" (!)

"You heard of him?"

The excitement in Luigi's eyes (and aura) is obvious.

"My brother's name is Mario!"

With a look of determination, Bowser promises he'll tell Luigi the story of all his and Mario's exploits if he does him two favors.

Leaves this, frankly, ugly and decrepit mansion with him. Because this story needs atmosphere.

Puts the ring back on his finger. Because how else is everybody going to know they're engaged?

Luigi gives a grin.

He looks down the stairs. What about doing his due-diligence?

"I promise you, boo, if fate brought you and Peasley together, and pushed you down those stairs, and brought us together, and then pushed him down the stairs, fate is on your side."

Luigi's lips are still pursed.

"And it's almost sunrise," Bowser points out.

"So?"

"Well, we've waited almost all night, seems like a fair amount of time to me. It's obviously a lost cause."

At that, Luigi begins laughing. Not quite Bowser's guttural, teary laugh, but certainly a cackle. Enough to turn his aura back to a vibrant green, just like before. Enough to make him hunch over and take some (not really) much needed gulps of air.

When the laughing dies down to a hurt giggle, Bowser assures him that:

"You didn't kill him, Weeg."

No. I guess he didn't, did he?

Looking down the stairs one last time, (his death completely bloodless, the lucky bastard), Luigi's brows furrow for a second and he twiddles his thumbs.

If Luigi's learned one thing from being a condemned ghost, it's that you should take every chance you get.

The bottom of the stairs don't look so intimidating now.

"I...

I forgive you."

Maybe that is all Peasley deserves.

Luigi deserves to have another chance. And maybe Peasley does too, maybe he'll find one in the next lucky winner of poker. Someones gotta replace his spot at the table.

Bowser shares that he certainly deserves a mother to his children, and he's already got a quality candidate who's proved he's got what it takes. ("One who cooks, cleans, can't call in sick, die, and is pretty good looking! I hit the jackpot!")

Maybe, at the very least, Luigi deserves to see his brother one last time.

And maybe a few more times after that, for good measure.

Anyways so the original plan was just to have either Luigi and Bowser straight up immediately abandon the crime scene (not really crime scene) or have Luigi sit in the mansion forever and live out a miserable existence.

But I couldn't do that to my boys now could I. (But Peasley still gets abandoned because screw Peasley I hate that little bean man /j).

This wasn't meant to turn out in the format it did but, y'know, it did. Just know this isn't brief but also isn't comprehensive. I might (big emphasis on might) make a shorter headcanon post on this, but we'll see.

I hope you enjoyed. And sorry for the length, I am not known and will never be known for being concise.

[smalltimidbean]

HOW TO EARN CHICKPEA'S TRUST SO I CAN GIVE HIM A LITTLE SMOOCH OR PERHAPS JUST TOUCH HIS HAND BEANS!?!?!? /hj /nf

-totally not the anon from yesterday

I'd say, in the context of the story, probably not possible! But that's mostly bc he is in a secret location, constantly monitored and restricted with who he interacts with - and I don't think he would appreciate someone messing with MY property~!

Huh?

But just for fun! Chickpea Trust Gaining 101!!!

Firstly, just treat him like a person! Yes he is a gigantic, doughy apex predator that could probably crush you with his pinkie, but clones were mostly made to look and act human, respect him as you would any other person

So like visit/talk with him often, respect his boundaries, give him a little gift sometimes, y'know how one assumedly normally makes friends with others!

But more specific things: Chickpea has a very strict routine, and he can get very upset if it interrupted in some way - so probably schedule visits during his enrichment time! That's when he gets to play and do fun puzzles, so you could join in too! Or help Soda wash him, he enjoys getting clean for the most part

Don't overstimulate him! So no need to shout! He's huge, but he can hear a pin drop from across the room - he can more than clearly hear you at a normal and calm speaking level! And probably don't run around or climb over him or sneak up on him - he's kinda like a truck, if you can't see the rearview mirrors (his eyes), he can't see you! He can still hear and smell you tho, but it's also kinda like being behind a horse - as in don't do that or get kicked

This also means no bellyrubs, since he is very sensitive there and hates being touched more than he needs to be - if you want to give him affection (and he lets you ofc), scratches under the chin, around the cheeks, ears and neck are the best! - Since those are spots where his muzzle and collar rubs against him and leaves him itchy

He also has a particular itchy spot in between his shoulders where a lot of his folds are - claw caps are not good for satisfying scratches - he loves to be scritched there! Just watch out for his deafening purr and getting flung off by his skin twitching (like y'know when you poke a cat and their whole body kinda ripples? It's like that but on a giant scale)

He's pretty sensitive to smells, and will be calmer with familiar scents, mostly bc most of the people he sees on a day-to-day are scented plushie clones kldfkfd - so scents he likes are lavender (Dr Lavender), chamomile (Nurse Chamomile), vanilla (Nilla), vaguely banana pudding (Nana Foster) and I guess it would be baby powder (Soda)

Ironically, the smell of pizza makes him nervous bc Bruno smells like pizza, so maybe avoid having pizza near him

Chickpea is also very food motivated, so giving him a tasty treat is a good way for him to warm up to ya! His favourite treats are soft-boiled eggs, plain/mildly flavoured yoghurts and meatsss - he's not huge on sweet stuff, but he'll eat pretty much anything

He is also very praise motivated, even if he does not show it much in his expression, so give him the occasional 'good job!' when he solves a puzzle, or a 'well done!' when he has his shots, and he'll be happy - he's not super into like y'know baby-puppy talk like 'who's a good boy? whos's a good boy? you are! yes you aree!' unless you are super close to him, so again, just respect him like a grown adult and not a baby or ouppy-dog

Andd I think that all I got right now!

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 7. If we survived the Great war

Masterlist

Previous chapter

Hello hello! Chapter 7 friends

Following this chapter Evermore is going to be Pietro central, so I hope you all enjoy, so much flirting and arguing to come x

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: BFF Anna, angst, injuries, PTSD, proof Tony Stark has a heart

My vision was foggy when my eyes opened once more. The slow rhythm of a monitor beeping filled my ears as I glanced around the room, it wasn’t a hospital, but it definitely wasn’t the Avengers Tower either. My attention was piqued by the sound of a door opening and closing.

“Welcome back,” Anna murmured, a soft smile coming to sit on her face. “You gave us all quite the scare.” I shifted in the bed, attempting to sit up. “Just take it slow, Nads, you’re on a lot of pain meds and you don’t want to pop a stitch.”

I thanked her for the cup of water she handed me. “Where are we?”

“The new Avengers compound. You passed out on the lifeboat; the medics took care of you on board, but you’ve been out since then. Helen Cho worked her magic on you when you got back here.” The moment the water hit my lips it became apparent just how thirsty I was, it was as if I’d been walking through the Sahara for days, my throat dry and torn. “You know a text would have been nice. Didn’t need to be long, just a simple ‘hey Anna heading off to save the world talk to you later’.” I smiled into the cup at her taunting tone. “I mean here I am kicking back in Istanbul, and I get a call from Natasha saying you’re bleeding out in bloody Sokovia.”

My body felt light, as though it were floating. I guessed it was the medication. “Well, I did not want to disturb you, miss superspy.” She rolled her eyes, flipping me her middle finger as she dropped into the seat beside the bed. “I’m sorry, next time a robot man is intent on global destruction I’ll send you an email.”

“Please do!” I snorted at her, resting my head back against the crisp white pillows. “I missed you, smartass. The fiercely independent thing is fine, all I ask is the odd update so I know you’re still breathing, really any sign of life would be much appreciated.”

“Ugh, you people with all your emotions.” I teased, keeping my eyes closed. She huffed in feigned annoyance at my words. “I will try to keep you updated.” I popped a single eye open to watch her roll her eyes and smile at me gently. “How is your peculiar little rat?”

She shook her head at me, a scowl taking over her expression. “By that, I assume you mean my Pomeranian?” I hummed in response prompting her to sigh exasperatedly before telling me how the little creature was faring. “You can pretend to disdain George all you want but I’ve seen you giving him treats and spoiling him with pets.”

“Poor little Georgie, I feel bad for the beast, he is so tiny. Like a little doll, all of the other dogs will bully him.”

We continued like this for a while, catching up on life, at least as much as we could with her MI6 confidentialities and my innate displeasure in sharing my secrets. It was nice, to hear Anna’s voice, to have her here. She was the first person whom I’d found comfort in the presence of. There was safety with her, that is what our friendship was built on. Although, friendship did seem an inadequate word for our kinship. Family was what we had called it over the years, though even now that still seemed such a foreign concept it made my skin crawl each time, I lingered on the thought too long.

“You know you really did give us a scare, Nads.” I nodded at her, poking at the chocolate pudding that had been given to me. The first time I had one of these I was 21 and it was at the hospital in New York whilst I sat at Anna’s bedside after she’d had a particularly tough assignment. At the time I had been disgusted by the thought of this strange brown, custardy substance, even when I tried it, I found myself turned off by the thought of what ingredients went into making the uniquely American delicacy. However, they’d grown on me over the years. “Each of the Avengers have been in to see you that many times it’s becoming a little silly. Thor left you those before heading home.” She nodded toward an egregiously large bouquet of flowers. I bit back a smile at the thought of him purchasing that. What a very odd person. God. Whatever. “Nat got you something as well, she said she left it in your room…” The way Anna spoke then immediately made me suspicious. There was something she wanted to say, something on the tip of her tongue that she was biting back.

I raised an eyebrow at her but still she remained silent, swallowing down what might have been a laugh. “For God’s sake, just spit it out.”

“It’s nothing… I was just saying how you worried us… all of us.” I narrowed my eyes at her. She was trying extremely hard not to laugh now, I could tell. “That Maximoff boy, particularly.” She could no longer stop herself as a little giggle slipped out.

A sigh of utter exasperation came from me as she continued to laugh. “I am not sure what is so funny, Anna. What do I care of that infuriating prick?”

She grinned at me. “He’s been here more than anyone else. Honestly, I wasn’t sure he’d leave your side until I told him to piss off and take a shower.” I rolled my eyes at her. “Seriously he wouldn’t stop pacing around the room, I thought he was gonna wear a hole through the floor.”

I could not believe this woman. “Good for him.”

“He’s cute.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” I muttered shoving a heaping spoonful of pudding into my mouth and attempting a nonchalant shrug.

She narrowed her eyes at me, but I simply avoided her gaze. “Are you sure?” I did not like her tone.

“He is a terrorist.”

“No one’s perfect.” I gaped at her implication, her gaze remained set on me, unwavering. It was not okay with me that she felt she could see through me so easily. “Plus, I wouldn’t really call him a terrorist, an idiot? Maybe, but he joined the Avengers in the end so…” She shrugged, stealing a spoonful of pudding from me.

“You are beginning to piss me off now.”

She only laughed again, taking another spoonful of the chocolatey goodness. “Why because I’m right and you’re saying the exact same thing in your head?”

I opened my mouth to disagree but before I could get the words out her phone began ringing, cutting me off. She pulled up a bag from beside her feet, laying it on the end of the bed. “I’m so sorry, I have to get this. I’ll be back to check on you in a little while.” I nodded, gesturing for her to go.

Unfortunately, I was not left alone for very long as Dr. Cho came in to check on me. “I am feeling much better now, can I go?”

She breathed a laugh, checking over the machine and taking a quick look under the bandage at my hip. “You’ll be fine to leave whenever you’re ready, Nadia. The wound looks far better already.”

“Great. I do not want any of the special medicine either, just give me the basics, nothing that affects my consciousness.”

“I would recommend taking something stronger for the pain, your body can heal without the medication, but you’d be putting yourself through so much unnecessary pain. You sustained a lot of damage, there’s no shame in taking something a little stronger.”

I pulled the blankets off of my legs, swinging them over the side of the bed. Within the bag, Anna had left was a clean set of clothes for me to change into. “I’ve had worse. I’ll be fine. Thank you, Dr Cho.”

She shook her head and sighed quietly, handing me two little bottles. “It’s your choice, I’m giving you something stronger as well just in case.” I took the bottles and tossed them into the bag, ignoring her look of frustration. “All right, well keep an eye on the wound and come back in a couple of days so I can check the healing progress.”

When I was alone again, I slipped into the small bathroom attached to the med bay, pulled off the hospital gown, and stepped into the shower. Most of the blood had been wiped from me though there was still quite a lot, alongside all sorts of dirt and debris which clung to me. The water ran black and red as it swirled down the drain, taking with it the stress and agonies of my time in Sokovia. A deep ache set into my muscles as the medication began to wear off, bringing me to a crisper consciousness where pain lay in wait.

I left the medical wing, swallowing down the agony that seared in my body as I wandered aimlessly down the unfamiliar hallway. The compound was quite fancy, not that it surprised me, Stark did have a flare for that kind of thing. Glass panes surrounded me, glossy floors which the light bounced off of.

“Hey, kid!” I glanced over my shoulder to see the man himself approaching me. “Glad to see you’re back on your feet, come on I’ll show you your new room.” He walked beside me, keeping pace with my pained, slightly slower stride. “What do you think of the new place? Nice huh? I thought the windows made it a little reminiscent of the tower, plus you know light and all that good stuff.” The end of his sentence came swiftly, almost as if he were glossing over the words as he spoke to them, he glanced at me so briefly it was almost unnoticeable.

“Yes, it’s… it’s nice, different to the tower, but nice.”

He nodded quickly, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, definitely. Less light pollution out here though.” I remained silent as he showed me to my new room. It was spacious and the walls were white. Not sterile, hospital-white, rather a softer, warmer white that made it feel open. A large, plush bed sat in the middle of a wall, surrounded by side tables, and in the corner sat an empty bookshelf and a desk but none of these things were what held my attention. There was a whole wall lined with beautiful glass windows, the sun trickling through to bathe the furniture in warmth. I stepped toward them, holding a hand out to let the rays of sun engulf my flesh. “It’s a lot of light I know, but I had controls installed to tint the windows as much or as little as you want. All with the click of this remote.” He held up a little white controller. “They can go completely blackout, or you can just dim it, they’re also one-sided so you can see out, but no one can see in.” He spoke the way he always did, with that cool disposition that made him seem untouchable. He spoke as if it were nothing, when to me, this meant more than he’d ever know.

A picture frame sitting on the bedside table caught my attention, it was simple but nice, inside lay a photograph of Natasha and me. I picked it up to examine it closer, it was the night Ultron had attacked us in the Avenger’s tower when Nat had insisted we take a picture together before the party. Stuck to the top corner of the frame was a pink Post-it note.

What could be more you than your own face?

As I gazed into the glass encasing the image, I was able to see my own reflection staring back at me. I was smiling and my eyes were watery. Quickly placing the picture back down on the nightstand I looked at the roof, pretending to be stretching my neck as I took a deep breath.  “You asked me what she showed me.” I finally spoke after a few long moments.

He asked what I meant.

“You asked me what the witch showed me, in the shipyard.” I turned to face him then.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“No, I don’t, and I’m not going to either. Not now.” He raised an eyebrow at me. I exhaled deeply before continuing. “The place where I was raised… it was dark, and it was cold all the time and there was never music. For most of my life, that was what I knew, cold, dark, silence.” I could feel his gaze on me, but I did not meet it. “I don’t mind the light pollution in New York because it means that it is always light. I like the sound of the traffic because when I wake up during the night, there is sound. I asked you for a room with windows so that I always know, I am not in that place.” I shook my head. “Not anymore.”

There was silence again then. We stood facing each other but not meeting each other’s gaze, sitting in a silence that was surprisingly comfortable. He nodded. “Okay.” It was a word atop an exhale. A word that was simple, but in that moment, it had weight. It was an acknowledgement and it meant something to me. He turned to the door, placed the little remote on the desk, and took a step forward.

“Tony.” Both of us froze at the sound of my voice. In all the years that I’d known this man, I had never once called him by his first name. “You are a mad scientist, and sometimes a bit of a prick.” He smiled sheepishly, furrowing his eyebrows slightly at my words. “But you are also a good man, a man who saved the world. Thank you.” I looked toward the beams of sunlight streaming through my windows.

“I’ll see you around, Nads.” He spoke, turning to leave. Before he stepped out of the room, I saw the way his lips curved upward, it brought a soft smile to my own face.

…

Anna did come back, just as she said she would. She had to board a flight back to England to report to MI6 before leaving again for her next assignment. It was a busy life, one that we had in common. “You know sometimes I think maybe I should’ve chosen MI6 over S.H.I.E.L.D. Then I would not have to contend with jaded AI and near doomsday events on a weekday.”

She laughed. “It would be nice to get to see you more often.” She wrapped me in her warm embrace and for a moment I tensed, but then it was Anna, and it was okay. She exhaled softly, shaking her head as she pulled away with a small, earnest smile. “No... Superhero suits you better.”

I narrowed my eyebrows at her, an amused smile spreading across my lips. “Look after yourself.”

“No, you look after yourself.” She spoke, her tone shifting to a scolding one, like an older sister. “I mean it.” She added, pointing at me.

When she was gone, and it was quiet I slipped into the large bed facing the windows. For a while, I just watched the intricate patterns drawn on the marble floors by the sun trickling in. “J.A.R.V.I.S… are you there?” I spoke into the room, feeling a little silly for the bubble of hope in my chest. For a moment there was silence, and I was almost embarrassed, of course, he was not there, J.A.R.V.I.S was installed into the red man they called Vision.

“Hello, Nadia. My name is F.R.I.D.A.Y, Mr. Stark has installed me in the Avengers compound now that J.A.R.V.I.S has left.” It was a woman’s voice, she was Irish. “Perhaps I can help?”

I swallowed heavily. “It is very quiet in here...” My words trailed off, I did not know what to say and it felt stupid and weak now.

“The previous Avengers tower was soundproof also so J.A.R.V.I.S emitted quiet cityscape sounds into your room. Would you like me to do this as well?” Her voice was gentle and non-judgmental.

“Yes. Yes, please.”

 The moment I’d finished my sentence the low hum of traffic, wind, and life streamed into the room. “Of course, is there anything else I can help with?”

I lowered myself, resting my head back on the plush pillows and snuggling into the duvet. “No thank you… F.R.I.D.A.Y.” She told me I was welcome and then she was gone. I dimmed the windows slightly, just enough that the sun wasn’t blaring but I could still see out. As soon as I was comfortable, I rolled onto my side.

I couldn’t sleep on my back, not anymore. It was odd to feel incapable of such a mundane thing. In support group, they call things like that a trigger. I’d never found a better term for that feeling that occurs in the dead of night when the room is still, and I am on my back with my eyes closed. It’s the feeling of my legs in stirrups, needles injecting me with a drug that made me feel as though I were underwater. My muscles turned to mush, and my body was stolen from me. Parts that were supposed to be mine. Proof that nothing belonged to me in the Red Room.

I tended to favor side sleeping.

…

When my eyes opened, I was bathed in darkness. I could feel sweat pricking at the back of my neck and my heart was thumping quickly in my chest. Taking a long, deep breath I closed my eyes and focused. The hushed sound of traffic enveloping me, my heart slowed slightly, and I reopened my eyes, snatching the remote and turning the dimmer off on the windows to reveal the silver glow of moonlight. After a while, the air began flowing smoothly into my lungs and my heart returned to its normal rhythm, the sweat dried and I was okay.

I took my time walking to the kitchen, creating a mental map of the compound as I went. It did not take me long to realize that the red was gone, no longer sitting in the corner of my vision, taunting me. I remained vigilant nonetheless, awaiting it’s return so it could not catch me by surprise. Before I turned the corner into the room, I was presuming was the kitchen based on the sound of voices and the sizzling of food in a pan, I leaned against the wall, cradling my wounded side and taking a deep breath. It hurt, a lot. I was only taking the weak painkillers Dr. Cho had given me, none of the stronger medicines, and I was paying the price. My body ached all over and my stomach had begun to cramp from the lack of sustenance. After another moment of rest, I pushed off the wall and made my way into the kitchen. There was a large island bench lined on one side by stools and a dining table across from it. Natasha sat at the island talking to Cap, who was stirring something in a pot at the stove. A glance at the table revealed Vision and the Maximoff twins talking amongst themselves.

“Nads, you’re awake.” Nat beamed when she spotted me causing all eyes in the room to land on me. I raised an eyebrow at her, glancing at Steve when he turned to face me, a novelty apron with the words ‘kiss the chef’ inscribed across the front, wrapped around his body.

“I was wondering if you’d be joining us tonight.” He spoke up offering me a warm smile. “You must be hungry, I’m made some soup, I’m not much of a cook but it smells decent so...”

I ignored the gaze of the enhanced twins, particularly the remorseful look that Wanda gave me and the concerned one her brother supplied. “Nice apron,” I murmured, walking to sit at the end of the dining table as far from Wanda and Pietro as possible. A snort came from Nat and an exasperated sigh from Cap at my comment.

“It was the only one that was here, and I didn’t want to spill on myself.” He mumbled, his tone suggesting that I wasn’t the first to comment on his choice of cooking attire. A moment after I’d sat down there was a bowl of steaming soup placed before me by Steve, followed by a glass of ice water from Natasha beside two little white pills which I assumed were painkillers. I raised an incredulous eyebrow at the two of them as they sat on either side of the table with their own meals.

“What’s with the table service?” The two of them shrugged as if they weren’t sure what I’d meant. I sipped the water before scooting forward to begin eating when I realized I didn’t have a spoon, bracing my hands on the arms of the chair to push myself up. Yet, before my chair was even far enough from the table for me to stand a streak of blue and silver whizzed by. A spoon sitting in front of me before my mind even had time to comprehend what was happening. Glancing down the table to see Pietro seated, casually, as if he’d never left. My eyes narrowed at him from my seat before I glanced back to Nat and Steve who were barely touching their food as they pretended not to be focused on me. I picked up the spoon hesitantly. “Is this because I almost died?” I taunted, causing Natasha to shoot me a sharp glare.

“That’s not funny, Nadia.”

I put my hands up in surrender before beginning to eat. “Geez, tough crowd.” It was almost unbearable to know that I was being surveyed so heavily by the other people in the room, though there was something about it that prompted a warm feeling in my chest, not that I’d ever admit it. “This soup is actually very good; have you been taking cooking classes in your spare time?” I broke the silence, glancing at Steve.

“Actually, I found the recipe on the line.”

“The line?”

Nat bit back a grin, glancing at me. “The web.”

I gasped at that. “You used the internet, all by yourself.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Ha ha, very funny. Yes, I used the internet. I don’t particularly like it, but I must admit it was actually nice, this woman spoke about how the recipe was passed down from her great-grandmother.” Natasha and I shared a look at his admission, evidently, he had chosen to read the entire biography section of the recipe before making this soup.

The smile that sat across my face was hard to shake, try as I might. “Thank you for the food,” I spoke quietly as I continued eating. The overzealous service caretaking continued when I’d finished eating, my dish was cleared before I’d had the chance and my water was refilled. “Honestly, it was 1 bullet, for God’s sake. I am perfectly capable of walking to the bench.”

“Well, you don’t need to, I’m already doing it for you,” Natasha spoke, giving me a pointed look as she stacked the dishwasher. I rolled my head back to hang over the back of my seat in exasperation.

“You’re not going to take the medicine?” A voice piped up causing a wave of irritation to pass over me.

I lifted my head slowly, a lethal look in my eyes as they met his clear blue ones. “Whatever for? I am not in pain.”

“You took a bullet and shrapnel to the side but you’re not in any pain? Of course, this does not sound like you are trying to prove anything at all.”

 A hush fell over the room at his response. When I spoke again my tone was glacial. “I thank you for your concern, but it takes a little more than 1 bullet and some itty-bitty pieces of metal to kill me.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Perhaps next time the two of you decide to team up with a deranged metal man to kill the Avengers you will keep this in mind.” It was facetious and it was mean, but the words seemed to come from me before I had the chance to stop them.

Wanda swallowed heavily, her sullen gaze falling on the table then. My words silenced Pietro but did not have the intended effect. I’d anticipated anger from him, some nasty words in return but instead all I saw across his face was remorse; it sickened me.

After dinner, Natasha had insisted on showing me around the rest of the compound as I’d been too tired earlier to have a full tour. “That was a little harsh earlier, Nads.”

I asked her what she meant, though I heard my previous words echo in my mind the moment she’d spoken.

“I’m not going to stand here and defend the twins; they made a stupid choice and a lot of people ended up getting hurt.” I was silent as she spoke. “You know what? You’re right, Nadia. It is their fault.”

My eyes widened as I looked over at her, stopping abruptly in my track. “Wh-what? That is not what I said.”

“They killed those people, what happened in Sokovia is their fault.”

I shook my head, unable to believe her words. She did not believe that. “Natasha, what are you talking about?”

“I’m with you, Nads, they should feel terrible, all that blood is on their hands.”

“No, it isn’t!” The way my voice sounded surprized me; I’d never spoken to Nat like that. “It’s not their fault, they were just doing what they thought was right, they were trying to protect those people.” My chest rose and fell rapidly.

A slow, knowing smile spread across Natasha’s lips. The moment it appeared I realized what she was doing, recognized it. A scowl took over my face immediately. “Well, that was surprisingly easy.” I rolled my eyes at her, crossing my arms over my chest. “I honestly wasn’t sure if I’d break you, it’s never been that easy before, you must really care about them.”

I huffed exasperatedly, turning sharply on my heel, and walking away from the smug redhead. “Fuck off, honestly.”

Thank you so much for reading xx

[meatriarchived]

danny keeping his back strong af so he can carry literally the entire friendgroup on his back ( me on p.interest getting dozens of imgs with friends piling on a single persons back and im like Yeah Thats Him )

danny, if we think of what breed of dog he's like, i'd say probably a caucasian shepherd - russian bear dog. massive and bred to fight and kill wolves & bears (coughsthomascoughs).

how he's an absolute gentle giant with his friends. completely pudding and mush with them all, loves and adores them and is always there for them when they call, no matter how late, no matter how long since the last time he's seen or heard from them.

and that fierce loyalty and love translating to him literally willing to do anything necessary to protect them and keep them alive. even if that means getting violent. even if that means getting blood on his hands. he'd allow his own conscience to be plagued by guilt by harming or killing another before even considering allowing any of them to feel they have to.

and that being said, for when im referring to both my portrayals of danny & maria: they have known each other the longest out of the friend group. she was his rock during some very turbulent years, and he was hers when the flores' father took off on them. that dynamic ofc alters with other portrayals of them both c: but they are VERY close and he is VERY protective of her.

[hooshizzoria]

haha getting away with this mind the tw/food/dieting/death tw readmore

hashbrown....hotdog (try with relish) ...actually eat pasta eg lasgna....anyone digression but do u remember that pixie hollow game rip. did anyone else ever play fantage. plain party pizza the quintessential. i miss oh i just forgot. anyways fish tacos! the cheapish meat hard shells my dad would make us with like storebought guac and salsa and literally aside from the meat the cheese was shredded kraft like 👀like ok. oh i remembered-- pinkberry. waffle slice thingy and my first intro to mochi. bubble tea. eh i think i can get that before i go. would like to try some carne asada with guac but again like i cant really eat it well if u know what i mean. at least i can have choccky milk lol yay. and also vanilla milk. and strawberry milk to treat my friend OH lady m pastry???mmmm OH the gelato stall near lincoln. and ofc a good sando or burger and OH salmon cream cheese bagel sigh

Moar. panna cotta. rice pudding my grandma used to make. hell any kind of pie tbh. creme brulee. sure u coukd get that easy but like will itv be good? that clam pasta. squid pasta lol nvr rly tried it. ohh pork adobo...its the belly parts for me 😔

ice cream factory my beloved 🥺 also i s2g just the nostalgia of going to an ice cream shop and getting a waffle cone on that ie typically haasgen dazs

fish and chips nvr rly had too much of that. enchance my salad game tbh for the taste than any health benefits lmao. have a taste of kombucha, try out a breakfast bowl or poke bowl. korean hot dog. oh hot pot! or shabu shabu! more ramen lol. more izakaya. ooh yakitori

[lurkiestvoid]

it's 3 4 a.m. and I'm hungry and we're perpetually (very) poor so bc I can't help it here is a list of some foods I dearly desperately miss:

- COFFEE.

- almost every fast food. just, hot multi-ingredient satisfying meals acquired in under 10 minutes that require no prep, cooking, or cleanup (quality can vary drastically ofc but idgaf at this point)

- more specifically: giant fucking cheeseburgers, hot and juicy, fully dressed. Taco Bell. and Chinese food. And good pizza that doesn't come from dollar store freezers. And biiig thicc sandwiches from subway or similar

- boneless garlic parmesan chicken wings

- Arby's. Roast beef, curly fries.

- French fries in general

- Zaxby's/Panera salads

- only had it a couple times but chipotle/qdoba burritos or bowls

- restaurants. haven't been out to eat since before the pandemic but just, big complicated filling meals cooked by someone else

- more specifically: warm rolls with honey butter, chicken tenders and fries, enchiladas, chicken fried steak, a good hearty chili, fettuccini alfredo with broccoli and chicken, lasagna, fully loaded potato soup, loaded nachos, a good baked spaghetti and meatballs ...

- fried pickles

- homemade comfort food, like, a full "Sunday dinner" spread. Meatloaf, or pot roast with veggies, mashed potatoes and gravy, baked mac n cheese, sweet cornbread, green beans with bacon, deviled eggs, a giant deluxe salad...

- SALADS. BIG FRESH CRISP SALADS WITH ALL THE TOPPINGS AND VARIETY

- a full breakfast spread. hash browns, pancakes, lots of eggs with onions and peppers, juice, sausages, biscuits and gravy, etc

- orange juice

- a wholeass veggie or fruit tray. mostly the carrots, or cantaloupe/strawberries/apples but give me the whole tray and leave me alone

- my "safe" foods

- banana nut bread 😭

- from-scratch home baked goods, more than just the $1-box-cake-and-$1-frosting every few months. All The Bars, All The Cookies, pies, the decadent brownies

- fucking. CHOCOLATE.

- snacks in general. Just, having them, and the ability to grab a handful between meals if needed or desired

- the delicious but "expensive" (>$5) grocery shit we can't splurge on. there's this amazing cranberry almond chicken salad...

- quiche

- hamburger helper

- polish sausage fried with peppers and onions and sauerkraut

- potato salad

- deli pepperturkey

- non-american cheese

- butterscotch pudding

- chili cheese tater tots

- pizza rolls

- donuts

- granola bars. trail mix

- yogurt with or without granola topping

- really anything that isn't plain rice and beans, bologna/cheese/PB&J sandwiches, ramen, hot dogs, oatmeal, toast, canned mixed veggies, generic boxed mac n cheese, butter noodles, and frozen waffles

- i have to stop now. if u read this far, thanks! pls go indulge in ur favorite foods and take your time to deeply savor them

[mcnuggyy]

taro buns heal +80 hp fr

[rain-bound]

Moceit Headcanons

Janus immediately starts to catch feelings for Patton after the whole "you and i both know that's not true" line. The gentle reassurance and soft smile is what did it. He denies/represses the hell out of it, naturally. (luckily for him, he was good at it). Just the sound of Patton's laughter made him feel like picking sunflowers and petting cute dogs. And boy was he terrified of that feeling.

When Lee and Mary-lee come by, (and Leslie is ‘excused’ by Janus) Patton invites him for mimosas. They don’t talk, they just drink and watch Thomas play Kingdom Hearts with his friends. It was nice.

Janus has a very… Different idea of what a prank is, given what he did to Roman during the trial. Patton decides to teach him about actual pranks, as a healthier outlet. He then demonstrates replacing vanilla pudding with mayonnaise. (“so poisoning your enemies is ok-””nO”)

A few days later, Patton bites into an unpleasantly minty oreo.

Prank wars are now a regular thing between them. Affectionate sabotage, as Janus calls it.

Patton is the only one that Janus will let touch him. No I will not elaborate.

When one of them spots the other entering a room, they greet each other with a very serious “Morality.””Deceit.” and then glare at each other until they break out into a fit of giggles

Basically they got a whole joke-y “my esteemed rival” thing going on.

Speaking of giggles

As a pun lover himself, Janus laughs at almost every one of Patton’s puns. It made Patton feel all warm and fluttery inside, and he nearly fainted when he heard Janus’ real laugh. (he’s the only one who’s ever heard it)

So they tell each other puns constantly to try and make the other laugh

They flirt all the time too

It seems less like flirting, and more like playful teasing, but under the surface its 100% flirting

Janus HAS tried flirting-flirting with Patton, but he found that it would force him to confront feelings that he would really prefer not to. That, and Patton was completely unaffected by his charm. He would either tilt his head in confusion or laugh and call it ‘sweet’. It infuriated Janus to no end.

Patton is very attracted to Janus’ hands. Again, I will not elaborate. (Nor do I need to.)

One day Patton was mowing the lawn outside and he saw a honeybee, and was like !!!! black and yellow!!! And ‘honeybee’ became his go-to nickname for Jan.

Needless to say, Janus melted the first time he heard it. (and every other time, too.)

By the time Janus finally acknowledges his feelings, it turns out that he’s actually in love with Patton now. Greeeat! So he decides to take a risk and finally confess to him, or else he figured he might EXPLODE

So he wanders down stairs one night and Patton is there making Late Night Cookies (as you do) and when Patton turns to greet him, he kinda stutters out an “I need to tell you something…”

And ofc Janus is not the best at verbally expressing his feelings, so he’s a bit at a loss for words. After a few seconds of just blushing and avoiding eye contact, he gives up on words and starts taking off his gloves. Patton goes “??? W-what… what are you doing, Jan?” (while blushing cuz HANDS)

Janus sorta corners Patton til he’s up against the counter, and interlocks their fingers. He stares into Patton’s eyes, and oh no oh god they’re so pretty

Janus glances at Patton’s (pretty, pink) lips (They’re currently trying to form a coherent sentence, if you were wondering). And then Patton glances at his. He mumbles an apology and leans in to kiss him. Just the barest brush of lips, but it's like fireworks for them both.

Janus barely pulls away before Patton completely crushes him in a hug and says with the biggest grin, “You LIKE me?!?!”

"Guilty as charged~"

[ablatheringblatherskite]

I have decided I want to write mine!!

I still have to come up with a lot of stuff but I really wanted to share the stuff I want to include, and also a little about the creatures I MIGHT use!!!!

Okay so for stuff I wanna include, obviously, food. I'm planning for them to have to stay at an older couple's home for a bit (idk why) (also they'll be affectionately referred to as Lolo and Lola, which is grandpa and grandma in Filipino) (this is to represent how our country is known for our hospitality). I also know that they'd HAVE to try some classic dishes such as adobo (very classic household dish for pretty much every Filipino family), isaw (this is a skewer most commonly made from chicken intestines. Wednesday would be pleased), dinuguan (it's cooked pig's blood so both Wednesday AND Hyde would be very pleased), and more. I'm also planning for Tyler to get sick at some point so he'd get to have some tinola (a kind of chicken soup) and sinigang (another kind of soup that's notoriously sour). And you know, classic breakfast dishes such as pandesal (a type of bread, champorado (chocolate rice pudding, served with milk and sometimes dried fish), tosilog (tosino and silog), plus a bunch of other dishes I haven't thought of yet LOL.

(yeah... we eat a lot of meat LOL)

They'd also get to ride a jeepney:

and a tricycle:

Because those are classic kinds of public transportation, or a way of "commuting" as we call it (commuting in the Philippines means taking public transportation LOL). They'd also HAVE to visit a beach at some point. Also Wednesday would absolutely hate how loud and happy and friendly Filipinos (generally, especially to tourists) are.

I'm also ofc planning to include at least one of our languages/dialects! I know Tagalog the best (though not as well as I'd like. I was raised speaking English), so I'll probably use that, although if I can insert some Bisaya into it that'd be great too! (We have over a hundred dialects in this country LOL I don't know why but we do). That'd be a lot of fun!! And of course I can't forget the perpetual heat and humidity. Let's not forget the stray cats and dogs that often roam the streets, as well as the chickens and cows you can easily find too. Oh yeah. And the house lizards!! Can't forget about those! We also see a lot of cockroaches for some reason (yes we kill them, with our sandals and shoes. And bug spray sometimes.)

That's all I can think of for now!! I'll reblog this again for the creatures I'm planning to use because I want images and I already reached the limit LOL

So I have an idea but I wanna know what my fellow Wyler shippers think

So I was thinking... what if we did a little challenge where we have Wyler (and whatever other ship from Wednesday we'd wanna include LOL) investigate a mystery that takes place in our own countries/hometown/state?

I was just thinking this because it'd be fun to see what people come up with!! and it'd be a good excuse for me to write Wyler (and possibly Petroclair) experiencing Filipino culture and solving a mystery (and possibly murder) that has to do with Outcasts inspired by creatures from Filipino folklore. Like the aswang, tiyanak, duwende, kapre, manananggal, wakwak, ekek, sigbin, and white ladies. I'd LOVE to be able to do something with that.

I mean, I could just do it anyway, but I just thought maybe other people would be interested in trying something like this too?? Just as a little prompt that multiple of us could do if we wanted. Maybe create a deadline so we can actually see them go up. Give our own unique folklores and cultures a chance to shine?? But then I realized maybe Wednesday already covers the cool mythical creatures from your area, so I'm not very sure about it lol.

So what do u guys think?? Would u be interested in writing ur own fics like that?? And if u are, WOULD u wanna do it like a little challenge?? Or shall we just treat this like a prompt and do it on our own time???

And if not, would you guys still be interested in reading a fanfic where I let them experience my culture/folklore?

[slothspaghettiwrites]

19. The Final Countdown

The Final Countdown - Sleepless in Stark Towers

Story Rating: Explicit, 18+ only

Warnings: period talk, Dom/sub relationship, hints of DD/lg, thumb sucking as a stress coping mechanism, discussions of Dom/subspace, 

Relationships: Tony Stark x Plus Size!Reader/OFC

Word Count: 3409

Summary: You make it through finals, Tony goes to Cali and comes home to a bit of a mess. 

A/N: if you don't like the way I'm taking this series, well, I'm not sorry. this is my dumpster fire. it's all about the next part honestly. I'm already sweating.Also, I would recommend Dumplin if you haven't seen it and want a good cry.

<< 18. Thanksgiving  |  20. Punishment >>

Tony's arms wrapped around me in the crowded airport. Soft flannel fabric that smelled like motor oil and something so deliciously spicy brushed against my nose. It goes straight to my head. A deep sigh escaped my lips and can feel my whole body sag and go a bit softer, like how my mom acts after that first drag of her cigarette after a long day. This warm feeling invaded every part of my senses, made me feel like I was moving through molasses. The people faded away into a blurry of colors as tears came to my eyes.

Warm hands cup my face. Thumbs brushed away the wetness on my cheeks. A smile as soft as I felt graced Tony’s features. His lips fell onto mine like it was the most natural thing in the world. The ball cap he wore today nudged against my glasses and I smiled into the kiss.

I was home.

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

“I WANNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.”

First, I get my period for the first time since getting the implant and my uterus was literally trying to Alien-style burst from my body. I couldn’t even begin to handle that shit. Every part of my body just burned and ached, centered right at my crotch. No amount of hot baths and drugs was fixing that problem. I couldn’t move without wincing, let alone think about studying for finals.

That brings me to my second point, what kind of monster tells Calculus 101 students there would be no cheat sheet notecard for the final? I felt like I was barely managing as it was and then he just decided to drop that bomb on us two classes before the test. My brain couldn’t even comprehend the idea of studying for the other finals I have. I was spiraling into a mess of letters, numbers, and equations that made no fucking sense.

“Dying is forbidden,” Tony moved away from the stove to rub my shoulders.

I leaned back into the barstool and tried to make puppy dog eyes at him. Dying would be a great alternative to this nightmare.

“C’mon, I slaved over a stove for like an hour, let’s eat.”

I didn't want to eat. I felt bloated and disgusting, but I couldn't say no. Not just because it would be rude, but because well it was my daddy taking care of me. Tony had been extremely… diligent since I got back. There was always a hot dinner and nutritious breakfast waiting for me when I stayed over now. In the evening, we'd work together in the lab until we were done on a project or too sleep deprived to continue. Then Tony would drag me up to the penthouse, kissing me softly while stripping me down so we could shower together. He would scrub and wash away the paint and pollution of the day.

Then he'd shampoo my hair. His fingers lathered up that magic soap that smelled like heaven, massaging and scratching on my scalp. He was always gentle, never tugging at the knots, and never getting soap near my eyes. He slathered on the conditioner before setting my pudding soft limbs on the tiled bench. If the hair washing hadn't gotten me all floating and warm, watching my daddy scrub and wash away the day's stress certainly finished it off. There was almost never anything sexual about it, usually rushed while I slumped against the wall. His hands worked the soap around his thighs, his torso, the arc reactor. The blue glow reflected off the suds, making the moment even more magical. The intimacy of the action, the comfort he had with me, that made me feel special and loved. That felt like real magic.

The world would get all misty. A soft fog settled over my mind garden, merging colors and ideas for projects with equations, dates, and societally stereotypes. My everything just relaxed.

Tony then helped me put on a set of soft flannel PJ's, each pair some kind wintery design. I noticed a slight increase in different types of clothes for me in the closet, in colors I didn't normally wear. All of them were soft, comforting, and faintly smelled of Daddy™. I couldn't help but stare at them when my clothes were laid out for me.

The clothes were expertly mixed with things I normally wore to class. For example, tonight my daddy picked out something that was 50/50 us. A pair of thick fleece leggings and a structured, expertly designed oversized Wolf of Wall Street vibe button-down dress were matched together, and a new sexy panty set I would never have bought myself was paired with my soft, fuzzy boot socks. All in all, Tony would somehow know exactly what I need to feel good and pretty and worthy.

I knew, that he knew, that I kinda knew what he was doing. We had talked my subspace, that floaty place my mind tries to travel up to while Tony took me apart. We had talked about what I needed or wanted when I was there. He explained his domspace to me, his own headspace that he gets into sometimes where he feels primal, almost godlike as my daddy. We both discussed how good it felt in those places, even without the sex.

And we had talked about the sex part of our relationship a lot when I got back, but consent and trust were really what it was about. It ended with my reassuring Tony that I was very much the one of us deciding we'd be in this kinda relationship, but that he also had a choice. Eventually, it broke further down to me just smooshing his face between my hands and telling him I trusted him with my life. He was my daddy, and Daddy knew best.

"C'mon, let's get you to bed sleepy baby."

"Can I read my art history notes in bed?"

There was so much more to study, so many dates and topics I didn't know yet. I was trying to fight my fuzzy warm headspace. Only two more days of tests. All my papers were finished, projects and modules were wrapped up, and all that remained were my art history and calculus hell tests. I trusted myself enough with Art History assuming that annoying senior kept to himself. And honestly, I'd been so stressed about math nonsense I didn't even consider him a threat to my sanity anymore.

"No work in bed," Tony reminded me, arm around my shoulder. "Do you really need to study? It's like three in the morning already."

"Just one more hour, Daddy, please," I yawned.

"JARVIS, when did I last get a good night message for my girl?"

"Thursday night, Sir."

"And you were with me all weekend, so that means you haven't slept for at least 24 hours," he guided us to the bed. "And a good night's sleep will be good for your test."

He was right, sleep would do me some good. I knew that, but it didn't make me stop feeling guilty for not studying enough. I didn't know every word cover to cover yet, therefore it wasn't enough. And it wasn't just me who needed to sleep. Tony had to fly out to California tomorrow for some kind of end of year presentations. He needed to be rested and present for the long day of meetings and dealing with people. Tonight wasn't a night to fight the rules.

"Daddy," I yawned again, snuggling into the soft sheets, "do-do you mind if…"

An old habit, a coping mechanism from when I was younger, had surfaced again since being back home. Turns out if it was someone else's thumb in my mouth the horrible taste memories of vapo rub didn't creep up. Tony said it didn't bother him, after the first time he woke up with his finger in my mouth. Told me it made him feel good, knowing even in my sleep I sought him out for comfort. I still felt weird about not asking, checking in to make sure he was still okay. I was sure once finals were over, I'd get over it again.

Tony pulled my head onto his chest and gave me his hand. While I held on to it for just a moment, massaging the muscle and tendons, trying to give him any amount of comfort I could, he kissed the top of my head.

"C'mon pretty baby, time for sleep."

I was counting down the minutes until you were done with your calc final. Three whole weeks of no classes. Three whole weeks of you staying here. Three whole weeks of doing… stuff. Honestly, I didn’t know what we’d do. I was too focused on the fact that after the hellish time you’ve been having since your last break, you’ll finally be able to just do whatever you wanted. No pressures, just relaxation.

“Mr. Stark, what do you think?”

“I think…” I glanced over the plans for the new Paris HQ. “They look fine, average.”

“Average, sir?”

“I think what Mr. Stark is trying to say-”

“Pep, what I’m trying to say is they look average. It’s a perfectly acceptable office block, but it isn’t a Tour Stark.”

“Mr. Stark, I can assure you that we’ve pushed all the boundaries we can with the area’s construction limitation,”

“Mhmm, and why do Tour Hekla designs have 15 meters on this proposal? I’m not some EDF wannabe. If I’m going to bring Stark Industries green energy and technology properly to the EU, I’m going to be making a statement.”

There was a pause. Pepper and the architecture team from Paris were unsure of what to do next. I wasn’t in any rush to break ground for the new HQ. In my opinion, we could still move it somewhere else, so a simple redesign should have been nothing. I say simple, but we probably wouldn’t have the new mockups until March or later based on how slow they were responding to my critique.

“Thank you for coming in today. I will email you all the notes from this meeting and we will be in touch within the next week.”

Pepper shook their hands and guided them out of the conference room. One lunch meeting, one R&D walkthrough, and then one final management meeting, that’s all I’ve got to make it through until it was home time. Well, time to get on the jet home, fly five hours, and then it was home time.

Thinking of home time though, you should be calling me soon for a debrief. Final results wouldn't happen until late tonight, but you and Peter were going to go sightseeing when you got out of class to keep you distracted. Our call was mostly to check in on both sides. Me to make sure you weren't at an unreasonable level of stress and you to make sure I wasn't threatening people's lives for their stupidity. A win-win really.

"Tony really you co-"

HERE I AM, ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE

HERE I AM, ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE  

"Sorry, this is an important phone call," I smirked at my CEO.

"Jesus, just meet me and Happy down at the car."

She stomped off as Scorpion continued to play for a moment. Her sassy comments about my relationship with you could really go fuck themselves.

"Hey Baby," I smiled, leaning back in my chair.

"Hi Daddy," you sighed quietly.

You sounded dejected and exhausted. It sounded more like you could use a night in rather than trapezing about the city until late. It's decided, next time I've got to take a business trip, I'd bring you with me.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I just- I just-"

You paused, but I could hear how wet your voice sounded. Had you cried during the test? There was a sniffle.

"Why can't I understand basic math?"

"One calculus isn't 'basic', and two not everyone's mind works that way. I couldn't make art the way you do," I tried to be supportive, but neutral to not upset you further.

"I'm sure if you tried, you'd be great. Look at your suit, you clearly have an eye for design."

"It's true, I do, I had to tell a team of French architects their designs were boring just now."

I changed the subject, you hated crying in public. You were my crybaby in private only.

"Why does it matter that they're French?"

"Makes it easier to get the planning done if you use a local team. Pep is insisting we have an EU headquarters, so I lost a bet and she got to pick the place."

"What would you have gotten if you won?"

You already sounded better, calmer.

"I'd have gotten out of a month of meetings," I moved you to speakerphone and pulled up the security systems on campus. "Where you at Babygirl?"

"On the sofas outside class, you gonna find me?"

"Taking all the fun outta bein' a creep," I grumbled but the smile on my face told another story.

God was I so happy you didn't freak out too much when you found out I could do that, did do that on a regular basis. After the whole shit show of Thanksgiving, I felt like I had to tell you about it and you took it in strides. Freaked out a bit, mostly concerned that I would think you were 'super weird'. I mean, have you met Peter Parker?

There you sat, curled up as small as you could get, resting against the arm of a long grubby looking couch. My smile grew.

"Your hair looks nice today."

"You just like it when I braid it," you looked in the direction of the camera and smiled.

"What can I say, they are practically begging me to-"

"Freshie!"

Someone off-screen caught your attention and I saw you shrink. A guy, maybe someone in a class with you, walked over to the couch, and stood right in front of the camera line. What a dick.

"You have to promise me you'll start coming around for art nights in the new year."

UUGGGHHHHH THIS FUCKER.

"I'll think about it."

Does he not see you were clearly on the phone? Does he know how rude he is being?

"You keep saying that, but I don't believe you."

Why does it sound like he is laughing at you? What the fuck was his deal?

"Sorry, I need to finish this important phone call."

"Text me, babes."

Am I having a stroke? Is that what this feeling is?

"Hello?"

"I'm still here."

You looked to your left and right before responding.

"That guy can really go fuck a cactus."

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

All I could think about on the elevator ride up the tower was marking up your beautiful skin, showing you exactly who you belonged to. I mean, you knew already, but the thought of spending the very early hours of the morning sucking and biting on your soft skin until little bruises formed was so tempting. Feeling you squirm and beg for more beneath me was exactly what I needed to wind down after that shitty long ass day. I wanted, no needed, you to my good girl. I needed someone to listen to me without me having to be a dick and give me control.

The elevator doors opened on the communal floor and the smell of savory roast meat hit me. You must have made dinner for you and Peter then. The lack of pizza smell was honestly fucking nice for once.

You hadn't sent me a picture of what you'd eaten.

The sounds of Dolly Parton and men crying was not what I expected to come home to. I walked through the kitchen, noting the pile of cleaned pans drying on kitchen towels and the note on the fridge for me. Left the best bits for you. You doodled little hearts around the words and that… god that made me feel good. You could have left the scraps, and I'd still be over the moon about the note. I plucked it off the fridge and tucked it into my trouser pockets.

On the sofa, with dirty dishes stacked on the coffee table, were you, Peter, Steven, and Barnes. All of you bawling your eyes out over some movie you were watching. I stood there for maybe a minute longer, the characters at some kind of drag bar, and the credits started to roll.

"What the fuck kind of sleepover is this?" Everyone's heads whipped to me.

"It's all Queens' fault," Steve was quick to wipe away the tears from his red face and clear his throat.

Barnes less so, "I just have too many emotions right now. Men cry too Stark."

"Why are you crying though?"

"Because everybody deserves love, Mr. Stark."

The three men burst into tears again. I was losing my grip on reality now. What the fuck was going on?

"The movie was a coming of age story about accepting your body and that you're capable of anything," you explained. "It's called Dumplin ."

Oh.

Oh, good god.

Peter and I were going to have words. Lots of them. About things that are and aren't okay to show someone recovering from a shed load of... of... shit.

Time to change the subject.

"Why are you two here?"

"They found us at Rockefeller when we were looking at the tree, which by the way was not as magic as I was told it would be," you sniffled, voice still a bit croaky from crying.

"It's not my fault," Peter wailed.

"Everything is your fault, Petey-Pie," Barnes chuckled and shoved the kid.

"Mr. Stark!"

"Oh my god, just-" I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to not blow a fuse, "everyone go to their rooms."

While the boys filed out down the hall to their suites, you picked up the plates and took them to the dishwasher. I pulled the plate of food from the fridge and tossed it into the microwave. You sat down at the island, looking everywhere but at me.

Did you even realize you’d broken a rule? I watched the meatloaf and potatoes and vegetables spin and spin and spin contemplating how to handle that. There was a fine line about to be drawn. When we’d set up the rules, you were very adamant about rewards and punishment. I wasn’t surprised or resistant to the first. You had a serious praise kink and I was more than happy to facilitate that. You were my good girl after all, and I’d tell you that any chance I got.

But you had this resolute idea that if you were “bad”, you had to be punished. To the point of punishing yourself, which was absolutely unacceptable, which I told you. Punishment was mine to dish out, when it was deserved. Ding!

And this cold reception you seemed set on giving me was only adding to your punishment. I pulled a fork from the drawer, setting my plate down so I could look at you.

"You eat dinner Baby?"

"Yeah, Daddy."

You pulled the sleeves on your sweatshirt over your hands. I took a bite, even reheated the meatloaf practically melted in my mouth, the mashed potatoes were still creamy and vegetables hadn't turned to mush. This was making being stern difficult.

"Why didn't you send me a picture?"

If there was a valid reason, I'd be understanding. Our rules weren't cast in stone, they were there to provide structure, not stress. They were a system set up to provide reward and praise more than anything else.

"I didn't want to," you shrugged.

"Why?"

You weren't looking me in the eye. I kept eating, waiting to see if you'd give me a real answer. There was no part of my mind that believed you would just break a rule because. You weren't a brat.

"I-" you gulped, fidgeting. "I just didn't."

I looked at you, fork dangling from my fingers. You were really sticking with that. You were really going to just lie to my face. I wasn't even upset about the picture at that point. You just lied to me. I ran my tongue over my teeth. If that's the way you wanna be, then I can accommodate that. I'd still get to mark you up at least.

"Go up to the penthouse, get ready for bed, and wait for me." it's all about the next part honestly. I'm already sweating.Also, I would recommend Dumplin if you haven't seen it and want a good cry.

[polikszena]

Ficlet Advent Calendar 2021: Chapters 21 - 24

I know it’s almost Easter, but finally I managed to type up the missing chapters of last year’s advent calendar challenge! Despite the huge delay, I still enjoyed working on these ficlets. And while I’m not really a person of numbers, I have to add that the whole thing is 23148 words altogether which makes it the second longest thing I’ve ever written in a foreign language. Well, I hope you’ll like the last chapters! :) (You can access them by clicking on the fic’s title)

December 21 - Dancing with the boss

Fandom: Ted Lasso, Eurovision Song Contest - The Story of Fire Saga, Kingsman Characters: Ted Lasso, Coach Beard, Alexander Lemtov, Roxy Morton, Rebecca Welton, Keeley Jones Relationships: Ted Lasso & Coach Beard, Rebecca Welton & Keeley Jones, Ted Lasso & Rebecca Welton, Roxy Morton & Alexander Lemtov Word Count: 1970 Rating: Teen and up audiences Summary:  Ted Lasso and Coach Beard go to Alexander Lemtov's Christmas party. To their surprise, Rebecca and Keeley are there as well, so Ted gets a waltz with the boss. Notes:  This chapter is a sequel to Chapters 15 and 19 of this challenge.

December 22 - Absolute Christmas

Fandom: Absolute Power Characters: Martin McCabe, Charles Prentiss, Alison Jackman, Jamie Front Relationships: Martin McCabe & Charles Prentiss, Alison Jackman & Jamie Front Word Count: 1430 Rating: Teen and up audiences Summary:  It's Christmas Eve at Prentiss McCabe. Martin invites Charles to his wife's Christmas lunch, Alison is struggling with wrapping presents when she gets an unexpected call from Jamie.

December 23 - Hot dog

Fandom: 30 Rock Characters: Liz Lemon, Floyd DeBarber Relationships: Liz/Floyd Word Count: 437 Rating: Teen and up audiences Summary:  When Liz Lemon is about to leave the studio on Christmas Eve, someone is waiting for him on the corridor. In a knitted sweater with a Christmas pudding on it. Notes:  Just a little festive Liz/Floyd fluff. Sequel to Chapters 3 and 17.

December 24 - Christmas Eve dinner

Fandom: Ted Lasso Characters: Trent Crimm, Ted Lasso, Michelle Taylor (OFC), Laura Taylor (OFC), Sophie Taylor-Crimm Relationships: Trent Crimm & Ted Lasso, Trent Crimm & Michelle Taylor, Trent Crimm & Laura Taylor Word Count: 2580 Rating: Teen and up audiences Summary:  When Trent Crimm invited Ted Lasso to his Christmas Eve dinner, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t come. But there he is, just about to find out what a disaster Trent Crimm could be. Also, in this chapter he meets Trent's daughter and her two mothers. Notes:  So, I really wanted to write a Christmas sleepover with Trent and Ted and that gave me an opportunity to write a little about the ex-journalist's (found) family. All of these, however, is based on my headcanons only. Also, this chapter is loosely related to Chapter 1 of the 12 Days of Crimmsmas challenge as well.

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

Episode 4 reaction

Sam and Max using the roach to prank the commisioner 😄😄😄 (Date Goals)

"Demonic possession is the gift that keeps on giving"

We're fighting the president? Is this the golem Abe Lincoln intro episode?

It is, I wasn't paying attention to the episode title or image I just hit play as soon as the game booted up

"Get the keys" Lol of course the only thing Max cares about is his gun

Can we talk about how much of a bop the intro is. I wasn't paying it much attention previously but it's real nice

Asdfgh how did Max's boxing glove get on the white house lawn?

Lol why is Jimmy allowed in the white house

"Doggy daddy, this is lose canon. Requesting permission to pants this goon."

"Ah, emotional violence. Good plan!"

I like Superball :)

"I'd like you to smell these two handkerchiefs and tell me which smells more like clauroform."

"I want to write down a reminder to smother you with a pillow in your sleep."

"I'll drive!" "Not while I'm alive." "Exactly."

"That fox is totally checking you out. Go for it Sam!"

Lol. Sybil is a dating service now.

"Ever feel lonely, Max?" "No, I have the voices to keep me company."

Sybil's surprised that Sam and Max want to get dates. I'm 100% sure she ships them.

Lol, she really diagnosed them with "mlm who should be dating."

Lol, she agrees with Max that being a volcano God is better than being a matchmaker.

Mr. Spatula apparently went crazy because of Sam's blood???

"I still don't trust him, Sam. He's tasted your blood."

They're keeping Leonard in the closet!?

Oh, Hugh Bliss. At least he's better than the soda poppers. (I think it says something that peepers creeps me out more than the obvious cult leader).

It's cute that Max is so into the prismatology nonsense.

Bosco is Russian now

Max breaking the fourth wall and staring directly into my soul was slightly creepy

Asdfgh HOW does he have a satellite defence system?

His truth serum is just whiskey or something, right?

Max why would you use someone's toothbrush to clean out your ears????

"I could donate my body to science again, but the guys at the lab seemed pretty spooked last time."

"It's okay Max, I've been paying them out of your retirement fund."

"Federal pudding embargo"

"--Anybody need their nuts cracked" "heehee"

Lol, I got kicked out for trying to enter the war room.

Whizzer is a governor?

Also SHIT I have to deal with the soda poppers again

Chuckles roasting Sam and Max has me dying

"Your codependency sickens me."

Max trying to give Chuckles puppy dog eyes

Sam doesn't know who George Washington is

"Foolish chief executive! Does he not fear us?"

"Just the funnies." "You mean the obituaries, Max." "Potato, patato."

Whizzer is addicted to soda?

"Pop heads"

Sorry Whizzer, we got to get rid of you, drink your soda gdi

"I don't have a conscience, Sam. What's your excuse?"

Oh, I get rid of Chuckles by sending Whizzer to the war room

Oh so we're just killing the president, huh? Good thing he was a puppet (apparently)

"Sam did it!"

Love Chuckles

Oh golem Lincoln is the Lincoln memorial!

The commissioner is omnipotent

Oh, Max gets to add president to his career list!

Superball: "Solid Oak. Good Doors. Strong doors."

"I was on TV" (Yeah my mans, you sure was)

I'm pretty sure I can give sybil Lincoln's flyer... yup!

Oh, no. Do I have to set baby girl up for disaster.

Oh Sybil honey I'm sorry

No baby girl don't cry

Max's happy run to the desk 😭😭😭

And Sam's fond look 💖

Max immediately lording his power, ofc

At least I get to make it up to sybil by giving her enough money to go on a nice vacation.

Bosco honey, please get some new hot dogs

I knew the truth syrum was alcohol.

Hehe funny Easter egg joke go vrr

I'm giving the alcohol to Whizzer. He seems like the most logical choice

Wow little man can not hold his beer

Yeah, alcohol is the best truth serum

Omg they’re actually starting a war

Superball is singing???

What is happening!?

Sam has the most wtf expression ever, Max is just staring ahead

Ok this is a bop

Superball is a really good singer

Omg it just keeps going

At least Superball is having a good time

"Well." "Let's not do that again."

Secretary Superball of Mysterious Gassy Emissions/Secretary of Meats and Cheeses

"A vacation? Permission to weep openly sir." "Granted, and encouraged."

What to do in time of war. 1. Select Target. 2. Press Fire.

Imma blow up EVERYTHING

Asdfg KRYPTON!?

"This will teach them to put me in the Phantom Zone!"

Oh, Bosco IS being watched

Good way to test out his defense system... It works! Good thing cause that would've totally killed him.

Ok I got the Beacon

"I like to think I transcend genre conventions Sam."

"Lincoln smash!"

Max (lounging on table): Shouldn't we revel a little bit?"

"We broke two presidents in one afternoon!"

"Sam, you're my best friend." 🥺🥺🥺

I love these two.

[nbeetree]

Grandma

I love her to bits but ofc I ate stuff I didn't plan to. I was half thinking about saying "fuck it" and just eating whatever to then purge but nope. I'm on day 4 of no binging and purging, I'm not going to start again.

I had a protein pudding and coffee for breakfast which was a lot earlier than usual (9am) but I wanted to be alright and not walk around on an empty stomach. Just so I can be more sensible.

We went to IKEA and she insisted on having a hotdog together so I gave in and had a veggie one with some pickles, ketchup, hot mustard and a tiny sprinkle of onion. She had a veggie one too out of curiosity and tbh they taste better than the meat ones anyway. I sneakily threw away some of the bread since it's the least healthy part but then she gave me a bag of nuts. Cashews. I love them but they're roughly 350kcal for 60g. I tried not to eat them but her being a grandma she made sure I did haha

I rounded that up to 400+ ca 200 for the veggie dog

Plus my protein pudding that's closer to 150 but I round up to 200kcal.

Total so far ≈800

I round up to hundreds so I don't have to count stuff like sauce, almond milk, sugar free syrups etc and so it's easier to keep track of

I have a protein shake with iced coffee ready to drink before 5pm since my parents want me to come visit. They'll have cake but I'll just not eat it and say I feel sick or something idc. So the drink gets me up to 1000kcal

I have a Hokkaido pumpkin I need to finish, I have potatoes and a lot of veggies so I'll do a veggie plate with some fried egg whites (obviously without oil) for dinner and if I need to have something after that I'll have an ice lolly (80kcal aka 100)

I should be fine tho. It's 3:15pm and I'm not hungry. I'll do some light exercises and some chores before I go

[gaarasgirlfriend]

Could I have headcanons for modern au highschool Gaara?

gaara highschool au hcs

omg my first gaara request eee tbh this is just gonna be everything i’ve ever fantasized lmaooo i hope u enjoy !!

gaara is a very good student!! he focuses on his academics and loves physical science!! he wants to be an archaeologist after college 

okay so he keeps to himself a lot, hanging out with his siblings, rock lee and his friends, and naruto and sasuke

but one day you guys are partnered up for a science project 

gaara is worried because he doesn’t really want to work with anyone

but as you guys converse, he finds himself enjoying his time with you!! he’s even smiling at a few of your jokes!!

u find yourself gazing at him in awe when he smiles at you because he’s always so quiet and reserved in class

your face kinda flushes red too

he looks at you with concern in his green eyes, “y/n are you okay?”

“yep! more than!” you say meekly, avoiding his gaze

okay so you guys exchange numbers before heading off to lunch

you guys walk out of the classroom talking about where to meet up after school to work your project

you suddenly see ur buddy waiting for you so you say bye to gaara and rush off to join her

kankuro is leaning aginst the lockers watching the whole exchange. when gaara comes to his brother, he’s met with a cheeky grin.

“who’s she? she’s cute~” kankuro teases gaara as he rolls his eyes in response

“my partner for my science project. nothing more, come along now before i take your pudding from you.” gaara smirked as his brother pouted

“guess who i saw gaara talking to today?” kankuro tells their sister temari as she joins the table

“who?”

“y/n, that one chick who had a water balloon fight with naruto and that dog boy? she’s pretty cute. do you think she’s cute kankuro?” temari asked her brother, a knowing smile on her face with sneaking a glance at her brother who didn’t look amused

“yeah, what about you gaara, do you think she’s cute?” 

gaara does not response which only causes his siblings to cackle in response

okay so you guys both go to the library after school to work on your project

you guys finish it after an hour or two

“hey uh i don’t know if you have someplace to be after this but i was wondering if you wanted to grab something to eat with me?” you ask nervously

he smiles, “of course.”

so you two go out for some burgers or something

you guys have so much fun omg

you would steal some of his fries but he doesn’t mind

“would you like some more fries? i can buy you some more if you’d like.”

after about an hour of talking and eating he drives you home

“this was actually really fun, we should do it again sometimes. you’re a cool guy gaara.”

his heart is beating rlly fast but he calmly says, “i had fun as well, maybe we should talk about our next date tomorrow during school?”

“i’d love to.”

once ur inside ur eyes suddenly widen and ur like, “next date??? that was a date?”

but you considered it one as well so u didn’t mind

the next day you were working together in class but since you and gaara were on that grind yesterday, y’all finished so u just talked

“i’d like to take you out on another date tomorrow on saturday, are you free to go at 6?” he asked, a charming smile on his face

you blushed, “yeah, i am”

while dating

gaara would drive you to school and home every day

he would patiently wait outside the car after texting you about his arrival

sometimes he would come early so y’all could go to starbucks together

sometimes he goes by himself so he can greet you with starbucks and ur so happy u kiss him

he just smiles at u

you and gaara have science and study hall together

in science you almost always work together, and sit together

everyone in the class is surprised that you two are dating but they think it’s so cute

gaara doesn’t let u cheat off his papers but he helps u find the answers!! 

he’s the reason you pass a really hard test tbh he helps you study

during study hall you guys sit together while working on whatever

but if you guys are both free you get a hall pass and take a walk around the school together while holding hands

you guys sit together at lunch (along with ur friend ofc bc you’d never ditch her)

he def walks you to all your classes 

every girl is so jealous of you bc gaara is such a gentleman

pda he is okay with: holding your hand, hugging you, and giving you a quick peck 

i feel like gaara would swim?? you’re always at his matches

and you do sports, he’s always at yours as well

y’all would drive to his house to ‘study’ even tho u don’t have any upcoming tests

at school dances y’all would sneak away outside to just slow dance alone in the moonlight

y’all just cuddle on the couch

sometimes yall will fall asleep on the couch and kankuro sees and takes a pic

when he shows gaara, gaara threatens him

but also asks kankuro to send it to him so he can make it his lockscreen