#by 'not giving a shit' i mean 'not interested in watching it at all'
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cherrygirlfriend · 2 days ago
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(not) lost and found pairing: reader x sistersfiancé!rafe synopsis: when reader has to return her sister's shoes, she sees her fiancé again. this time, in a different state than before. warnings: hurt and comfort, reader stitches up rafe wc: 1.5k
people have been wanting me to write more for them and i've been meaning to i swear!! just haven't gotten around to it lmao but more interesting stuff for this pairing is coming
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"jenny, no." you sighed exasperatedly into your phone, "i already told you, no. i'm doing homework."
"but it's technically your fault?"
"how is it my fault that your drunk ass left your damn shoes in my car?" you scoff, and if it wasn't so typical of jenny, you wouldn't be able to believe the nerve she'd have to even say it was your fault that she was too drunk that she couldn't even remember to take her shoes.
"just take them to my place, alright! i'm on a trip right now and i don't need your shit."
"i'm not a damn lost and fo-"
before you could finish your sentence, your sister had hung up on you, and although you tried to call her again, she wouldn't answer. the bitch was ignoring you, as usual.
so, that was how you ended up driving to the house your sister shared with her fiancé while rain was pouring down the sky, your windshield wipers working overtime to make sure you'd get there without slipping off the road.
when you finally parked in front of the house you'd been at only a few days prior, you leaned the back of your head against the headrest, gazing at the lit-up windows of the home. you wanted so badly to not be jealous of the life she had, to not give her the satisfaction of knowing how much you'd always envied her; envied the way your parents had always preferred her, how you'd always felt more like a burden to them than a child.
taking a hit from a vape pen and tossing it to the passenger side of your car, you breathed out the vapor before getting out of the car, slamming the door closed behind you, flimsily holding onto your older sister's louboutins, a petty part of you wanting to accidentally drop them to the ground as you made your way to the door.
but when you reached the door, lifting your hand to knock on the door, you noticed it was slightly ajar. with furrowed brows, you stepped inside, your ears filling with the noise of loud shouts and sounds of glass breaking.
you placed down the heels as quietly as possible, pulling your phone out and dialing 911, holding the phone close to your chest as you walked closer and closer to the source of the noise, prepared to press call.
but what you came across caused your brows to furrow.
jenny's fiancé's back was facing you as he threw a vase on the ground, the smashing noise ringing in your ears as you brought your hands to cover them.
"fucking bitch!"
you didn't know what to do, simply watching the man throw a picture into the ground, the glass of the picture frame blending in with the glass from the vase. what used to be jenny's glamorous living room now looked like it was one of those rooms people go to smash up old electronics and plates, just missing the graffiti on the walls, but in place of them were a few fist-shaped holes.
when rafe picked up a glass of amber liquid to his lips, you figured it'd be your best chance to make your presence known, so you cleared your throat, saying his name in a soft voice. "rafe?"
the man turned to look at you, letting out a soft, dry chuckle as you pursed your lips, looking around at the wrecked room. "what are you doing here? is your sister drunk again? 'cause if she is, she can sleep on the fuckin' lawn for all i care."
"no, she just left her shoes and..." you shook your head, taking a few, wary steps towards the man, pocketing your phone. "what's up? did something happen with...?"
"your sister?" rafe let the now-empty glass fall to the ground, a few drops of whiskey now decorating the pile of glass as it smashed, rafe collapsing onto the ground, leaning his head against the back of the formerly-immaculate white couch, that now seemed to be covered in red wine. "that'd be the understatement of the century."
you noticed a gash on his arm, a rather large piece of glass sticking out, red blood staining his white sweater, "rafe, you're bleeding."
the man chuckled, looking down at the cut and shaking his head, "i didn't even notice. woops."
"let me go get my stuff."
"it's really-"
"shut up." you say sharply, rushing outside to your car.
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you were kneeling next to rafe, the man pressing a cloth to where the piece of glass had been lodged in while muttering something under his breath while you poured disinfectant onto another cloth. "this is gonna sting, but if you're gonna be a baby about it, i'm gonna let you bleed out."
rafe let out a small, nearly inaudible chuckle and the ends of your lips twitched slightly upwards, "i'm pretty sure i'm not gonna feel it with how much whiskey-"
his sentence was interrupted by a loud hiss he let out when you took away the cloth he'd been holding against his arm, starting to press the one with disinfectant against the wound, your lips curving into a proper smile.
"is my pain funny to you?"
"no." you looked at rafe to see a small smile on his lips, "it turns me on."
rafe let out a guffaw at your statement, shaking his head as you began putting monofilament thread onto the curved needle, the man's brows furrowing as he watches. "how do you even know how to do all this?"
"you don't know?" you let out a chuckle, "of course, why would i assume my dear sister ever speaks about anything other than herself. i'm studying to be a doctor."
"i didn't know that." rafe watched as you brought the needle to his wound, "have you done stitches before?"
"on fake skin." you shrug, starting to stitch up his wound, "so, why did you do all this? you're lucky that thing didn't lodge any deeper."
"i could've just gone to an actual hospital."
"yeah, but wouldn't you rather give your future sister-in-law some practice?" you said, not noticing the way rafe was gazing at you, your tongue peeking out, your brows furrowed in a way that caused small wrinkles to appear on your forehead. "spill."
rafe let out an exasperated sigh, looking away from you, instead focusing on all the broken glass on the ground. he'd have to figure out a way to fix it before jenny got home.
"your sister's cheating on me."
a small oh left your lips as you continued.
"i saw texts on her phone before she left. she told me she was going on a work trip for the law firm she's interning with but she's currently at some hotel with the guy she's seeing."
"she... she always told me she was going out with you, at least once a week, but i'm starting to realize it's not true, is it?"
you chewed on your lower lip as you continued stitching the wound, letting out a soft, quiet, "i'm sorry, rafe. i see her like, once a year on christmas."
rafe nodded his head slightly, "lucky you." the man chuckled dryly, "it all just... made me feel like i'm not enough. that no matter what, the people around me are gonna keep betraying me. that i can never trust anyone."
you let out a soft, humorless chuckle. "i know how that feels."
"you do?" rafe looked down at you, as you finished tying the end of his suture, cutting the thread.
you sat up straight, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear as you started packing away your stuff. "everyone's always preferred jenny over me. everyone's always picked her over me. my parents always preferred her. every guy i liked always thought she was prettier. all my friends always thought she was cooler." you chew on your lower lip, your throat starting to hurt from the emotion you were trying to hold back, avoiding his gaze, "my entire life, i spent living in her shadow. my entire life i've been 'jenny's sister' and nothing else."
"that can't be true."
"you know what my parents' reaction was when i got into med school?" you chuckled dryly, your eyes turning glassy as you finally looked to rafe, "'that's great sweetie. anyway, did you hear that jenny got engaged? her ring is so gorgeous. oh, and she's doing so well in law school!'" you mimicked your mother's voice, letting out a sigh. "and jenny thrives from it. she's always loved that she's better than me. even as kids, she did everything she could to one-up me."
"she's not." rafe took your shaking hand in his, enveloping it in his larger one, "you just stitched up a half-stranger when you could've just left when you saw me destroying shit. your sister would never do something that selfless. i don't even think she has a selfless bone in her body."
"you're starting to sound like me." you let out a chuckle, shaking your head, "how come you're engaged to her, then?"
"maybe i don't have any either." rafe shrugs, "but i'm not letting her get away with this. i'm not someone to be messed with."
"that sounds ominous."
"you have no idea." he smiles, squeezing your hand.
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blessedbyahuntress · 3 days ago
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Just Let Me In
Pairing: Leo Valdez x Cold!Fem!Reader
Warnings: Swearing
Word Count: 1.58k
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It’s hard to ignore someone like Leo Valdez. 
He’s constantly in everybody’s face, pulling jokes and pranks like a plea for the tiniest of smiles.
But most often? He’s in your face, teasing you and trying to make you laugh. Most of the time, he grabs whatever book you’re reading and holds it above his head because, as much as you hate to admit, you are the only demigod shorter than him on the Argo ll, and therefore the only one who can’t reach your book. Which is what you were trying to do now.
“Leo,” you growled. “Give it back.”
“Whoa!” Said boy raised his other hand in triumph as he cheered. “Y/N just said four words to me! Did any of you hear that?”
A ripple of laughter echoed through the dining table of the Argo ll, but it seemed to drop dead at Hazel. 
“Leo,” the roman girl said. “Give it to her.”
The Latino whined. “But, Hazel-”
“Now!” 
You knew that tone could never come from someone as sweet as Hazel, so you turned your head toward the voice. 
Frank was standing, hands resting on the table as he glared daggers at Leo. “Give Y/N her book back,” he ordered harshly. “Now.”
Leo glanced from you to Frank, sighing as he decided it wasn't worth it. He handed you back your book, which you accepted without hesitation. You made toward the door without another word, giving Hazel and Frank small nods of gratitude. Well, at least they thought it was gratitude; it was rather hard to tell with you, since you had a permanent frown upon your face.
You marched up the stairs and into your room, slamming the door so hard behind you, it shuddered on its hinges. Leo winced at the noise.
“Too much?” He asked. When no one responded, he sighed. “Too much.”
Piper frowned at him. “That is not the way to get a girl to like you, dumbass.” 
Percy nodded in agreement. “I was stupid, not mean,” he said, gesturing to Annabeth. 
Annabeth snorted. “You sure were, Seaweed Brain,” she teased before returning to seriousness. “Leo, I don’t know why you do this. If you like Y/N, show it in your actions! I mean, we all know you’re too cowardly to admit it straight to her face, so let her guess. She’s cold, not idiotic.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Leo muttered. “Whatever. She’ll never like me now.”
Frank scoffed. You were his best friend besides Hazel, and he was extremely protective of you. He thought of you as a little sister- the daughter of Apollo who preferred throwing knives and daggers to actual archery, and the son of Mars who used a bow rather than a sword. “You think?” He demanded.
Piper shook her head. “We know what you’re like when you’re not being a cocky jackass,” she said.
“Hey!” Leo complained loudly.
“I’m not done yet,” Piper scolded. “As I was saying, I like how you act when you're not being an asshole. I might help you get the girl, Valdez.”
Jason rubbed his eyes. “I’ll leave you two to your scheming,” he said. “I’ve got first watch.”
Annabeth grabbed a pen and notebook, flipping it open to a blank sheet of paper. “If anyone would like to be able to still lie to Y/N’s face about nothing going on behind her back, I’d leave now.” The daughter of Athena cracked her knuckles. “‘Cause shit’s about to go down.”
You flipped a page in your book. The author had just left you on a cliffhanger, and you desperately needed to find out if the main character managed to save the love interest in time or not.
“No,” you muttered when you saw a sticky note adorned with sloppy handwriting was stuck on the page labeled, ‘Chapter Nineteen’. This was supposed to be chapter eighteen! There couldn’t just be a sticky note!
You felt anger bubbling inside you as you read the note. That arrogant little Latino- the nerve to rip out a whole chapter and keep it to taunt you! 
Did your feelings for him change, though? No. You still liked him, and you found that highly annoying.
You glanced around for your diary, surprised when you didn’t see any sign of the notebook. You were sure you’d put it…
Oh, shit.
You stormed out of your room and back down the stairs once again.
The scene at the dining table was not your favorite, that’s for sure. Percy, standing on the table as he read aloud to Annabeth, Piper, and Leo. He kept stumbling over the words as his eyes scanned your diary. 
“Ugh,” Percy read. “I don’t know how I’m going to… surfer- ah! Survive on this boat for much long…er. Leo just won’t stop bugging me, and m-my emotions won’t either!” No one seemed to notice you as you snuck into the room. “How could I like someone who keeps… testing? No. Teasing! That’s it, teasing me.”
Piper squealed, clasping her hands together. “Well, there’s your answer, Leo!” She cried. “Y/N does like you!” 
All of your anger surfaced. “Jackson!” You screeched. 
All heads whipped toward you, and your eyes flicked over everyone, reading them each like a book. 
Percy: Terrified, hoping that Annabeth would get him out of this, but not the slightest bit regretful.
Annabeth: Looking and acting calm, but is actually panicked on the inside. Is this how she loses a best friend? Will Y/N ever forgive her? She’s also very sick of getting Percy out of situations like this, but is already formulating a plan to get her boyfriend out of this mess.
Piper: She’s secretly pleased. She doesn’t want to have to lie to you, not ever.
And Leo… you find him staring at you already, never taking his eyes off you while the others avert their gaze or exchange glances with each other. 
“Perseus Jackson,” you growled. “Give me my diary.”
Percy gave it to you without protest. 
You sulk all the way back to the door, only to turn around when you hear Leo call your name.
The Latino is grinning wickedly. “You think it’s hot when I steal your office supplies?” He asked.
You felt your face flush. “Shut up,” you said, exiting the room, only to hear Leo continue. 
“You like my curls, right? That’s what Percy said. I heard you also like my, and I quote, ‘Beautiful big brown eyes.’ I know you fancy me, Mi alma-”
“Shut up!” You yelled. “Didn’t you hear me the first time, Valdez?” 
Silence.
You stomped back up the stairs and to your room. You locked the door behind you and threw yourself onto your bed. 
It was all ruined. He knew. He knew! It was all over.
You grabbed a pillow and squeezed it with all your might. You wouldn’t cry; you couldn’t feel the tears. But you could crush your sorrows with rage. Yes, you were quite capable of doing that.
A knock.
Your head shot up, your deathgrip on your pillow easing slightly.
“What?” You snap.
“Uh… Y/N?” A voice that sounded suspiciously like Leo’s responded. “Could you maybe… open the door?”
“No.”
“Y/N,” Leo said, deadly serious for the first time since you’d met him. “Open the door.”
“No!”
“We need to talk!”
“No!” You cried, raising your hands to your temples to banish your headache. “No, we don’t. Just go away, Leo.”
“Y/N, please,” the boy begged. “Just let me in.”
You didn’t respond, turning your back to the door.
There was a sigh loud enough for you to hear from the other side of the door. “Okay,” he said. “I didn’t want to do this but… Frank!”
You jumped as a loud bang sounded behind you. You turned your head to glare at the Chinese-Canadian Baby-man that now stood in the doorway. “Frank?” You asked in disbelief. 
“Sorry,” your best friend muttered, rubbing his shoulder as if it hurt. “I was bribed. With bubble tea.”
“Ah.” You nodded. “You’re forgiven. I would’ve done the same.”
Leo popped his head out from behind Frank. “Thanks, big guy,” he said, patting Frank’s arm. “I got it from here.”
Frank gave Leo a look of pure distrust before turning and walking away.
You kept your back turned to Leo as he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Right,” he murmured. “This wasn't how I imagined it would be, but I’ll try my best…”
You felt a tap on your shoulder, but you didn’t look back at him, keeping your eyes trained on the wall in front of you. 
“Y/N… I like you too.”
“Enough,” you said softly.
“What?” Leo asked.
“Enough games. Enough teasing. I don’t need your pity.”
You couldn’t see it, but Leo smiled cheekily at you. “It’s not pity, Mi amor. It’s love.”
He gently grabbed your chin, turning your head to face him. He pressed his lips against yours delicately, as if you might break, might shatter into a million pieces. 
You pulled away first, still scowling. “Alright. You say you really love me, as I love you, but the only way to prove that is by letting me sleep in your room.” You gestured at the splintered remains of your door. “You broke my door.”
Leo grinned. “Correction: Frank broke your door.”
You rolled your eyes. “Correction to your correction,” you said. “You bribed Frank into doing it.”
“Fine. It’s worth it. You’re sleeping with me tonight.”
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luciferanalyzestar · 2 days ago
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unpopular opinion: I am glad that zoophobia got abandoned cause as much as it's beautiful vivziepop would ruined it just like what she did with HH and HB,I rather someone else make something similar to it (not 100% copy of it just something similar) and avoiding all viv's mistakes since she's too coward to admit that her writing is shit,maybe if she listened for once her writing would have been improved long time ago
This ask sent me down a rabbit hole I was not ready for.
I never read Zoophobia because I did not hear of Viv until 2019. I was 11 when it released, and I was too busy obsessing over Sonic. From what people who have been following Viv and her history for that long, it was a warning sign of her writing abilities and the lack of variety in her character designs.
The main premise is toss aside for a different premise with no build up: I mean just look like the descriptions of the finished and scrapped Books. How do we go from "woman with a fear of animals becomes a guidance counselor at an academy for anthropomorphic animals" or "mythology"???? How does get from furry hijinks to mythology??? That is a huge jump. Imagine if the Owl House did that? Season 1 stays the same but in season two, Luz goes to a futuristic sci-fi setting like Star Wars or something.
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Hazbin was at first: The Princess of Hell opens up a hotel to help Sinners go to Heaven instead of being murked every year.
Hazbin from episode 1 to 8 has a huge in its premise too. No one was asking for a war with Heaven at the end of the season. The whole season was just Charlie pitching the hotel which she already did in the pilot, why are we wasting time of watching her pitch it again??? Season 1 could have focused on the hotel not Heaven, that is should have been saved for season 2.
Helluva was at first: A lower-class imp opens up an assassin business with his fellow imps and his ab going to Earth to kill humans and fucking up shit in the progress. There is a little bit of failed edge in the show too, this is not my little pony! This is a show for adults who grown up Invader Zim and live breath Hot Topic. Now Helluva is just, 2000s core Yaoi that used to be posted on fanfiction.net.
The main female character is sidelined: Cameron was gone by Book 2 (at least from what the wiki states) and was not even featured in the Back Luck Jack short. There are no sources for this, but it is claimed on Cameron's page that Viv was planning on giving her multiple love interests. Why does she always bound female characters to romantic relationships? Also, German chromosomes????? 💀
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There are too many characters: Some characters' wikis listed their extended family, their allies, and enemies. I did not click on every character listed but the ones I did were minor background characters who just exist. Why does Kestral and Jackie's mother have a design if she does nothing for the plot? My OCS have parents of course but I am not going design all of their parents, only the ones who are a part of the plot.
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The character designs all have the same vibe: Of course, they are all skinny, some are skinny as a broomstick or slim thick.
I found characters with top hots, ashy skin, characters with tannish skin tone with straight hair, the bow ties and pin stripes combo or pin stripe shirt and shorts combo for Mirage. Some characters do not have pronounce feet like they have little numbs like Vaggie and Niffty.
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None of the characters who are human or transform into humans have ears! Where are their ears??? Viv cannot draw ears to save her life lmao. The only humans I found with ears was Cameron and this guy. This design "quirk" is still on full blown display in the Hellaverse.
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I notice that a lot of characters have similar lore or quirks to the Hellaverse cast:
Cameron has a decease mother = Blitz and Moxxie also have a decease mother.
Addison was originally had a twin sister who was scrapped = Angel and Blitz both have twin sisters.
Camilla (Viv must really like that name) is a pole dancer = Angel is a sex worker is a striper. Also, Camila, who was 21 was supposed to have a crush on the 17 years old Addison.
JayJay has a gold tooth = Angel and Val have a gold tooth.
There are probably more examples, these are the ones that popped out.
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There is a pack of wolf lead by the character Queen which is similar to Verosika's crew but there is the twist: Queen is just Kesha. Why was Viv so obsessed with making Kesha into a furry? Why is her name close to Kesha's full name? I have characters based off of celebrities from media I like but I did not name them straight up after that person.
Viv should buy Kesha a fursuit at this point. /j
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There is this dude who makes a similar expression to Lucifer. I am losing my goddamn mind.
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This reminds how she designed Smoke from Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue looks in her part of the reanimated project.
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I wish someone would make a deep drive video about Zoophobia and have a section comparing it to the Hellaverse. Viv published Zoophobia back in 2012 when was around 19 years old. She is now in 32, I do not know about the writing. How she designs characters still has not changed, she is DEEP into that comfort zone.
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supernova-stardust · 2 days ago
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christmas sweater
jegulus christmas micro fic | 518 words | rated g
"Hey, love. I'm home." Regulus announced as he brushed the snow off of his coat and kicked off his shoes. He listened for James to greet him in return as he hung up his jacket, but when he didn't hear anything he padded into the living room with curiosity. He found James on the couch with a fire roaring in the fireplace, hunched over a bundle of yarn. Regulus watched James staring at his phone with his brows knitted in concentration, looking more confused than he had ever seen him, and he felt so much fondness for his boyfriend. He wasn't sure what new project he had started, but Regulus knew that James wouldn't stop until he had figured it out. When James heard Regulus come into the room, he jumped a little, dropping a metal hook from his hands.
"Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in," James said sheepishly. He adjusted the glasses on the bridge of his nose and paused the video playing on his phone. "How was work?"
Regulus shrugged and plopped himself on the couch next to James. They exchanged a quick peck in greeting before Regulus continued. "It was fine. Boring, really. I'm never sure why we all have to go in the week before Christmas. Nothing happens and none of us want to be there—it's like we're just there to exchange pleasantries and pretend we're answering emails. Might as well just give us the week off. What inspired all of... this?" Regulus gestured to the mess of wool between them.
James laughed, his smile bright and carefree. "Well, I saw a video where someone crocheted a sweater and it only took her a day to make it. Anyway, I thought I'd make a sweater for Remus—you know how he's always wearing a sweater—but it turns out it's a lot harder than she made it look."
"Oh, babe, that's—" Regulus stifled a laugh behind a hand. "There's no way you're going to make him a sweater in a day. Didn't you already get him something for Christmas?"
"I mean, I bought him a sweater, but I thought he might appreciate it more if I made him a sweater, you know? Anyone can buy a sweater." James looked so forlorn by the revelation that he might not be able to make the sweater, his eyes going big and round and his lips slightly down-turned.
Regulus let out a sigh, steeling himself for the fact that he really was going to learn how to crochet after his day at work just to please his boyfriend. But for James, he'd do anything. Even learning a hobby he had zero interest in, if for nothing but to help him. "Okay, show me the video."
"Huh?"
"Show me the video, I'll help."
James beamed, his eyes crinkling in joy behind the round frames on his face. He leaned in and kissed Regulus and for that alone, Regulus decided that it would all be worth it. He would become an expert at crochet if it meant that James smiled at him like that again.
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dia-depeche · 10 hours ago
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I just know that I am going to be BAWLING while watching season 5, especially when byler has their first kiss. Byler, and stranger things as a whole, mean so much to me. Like I can’t even put it into words. Stranger things is what lead me into become interested with horror, and now it’s my favourite genre of all time. I can’t explain how my life would change if I never watched stranger things, it gave me so much hope for myself. While I’ve never been physically bullied, I have definitely been verbally bullied by peers in the past, and had been labeled as “one of the weird/queer kids” and it hurt me so much back then. Seeing stranger things and having the nerds and outcasts save the day and get so much praise truly helped me realize I wasn’t as alone as I felt. And byler, holy shit. I don’t think I’ve ever related as much to two fictional characters as I have with Mike and Will. Seeing Mikes internalized homophobia made me so relieved, which sounds kinda weird, but knowing that it was an experience other kids had was so reassuring. It reminded me of my younger self. Back when all of my friends had started to get crushes on the boys, and we would huddle under playground equipment talking about them. I didn’t realize it at the time and was very in denial, but I had a big crush on my best friend, who was yapping about one of the boys in my grade. So I’d lie, and randomly picked one of the boys who they hadn’t talked about, and I said I liked him. I didn’t. I hated his guts. But the feeling to try and fit in felt so massive. Eventually as I grew up and with the support of my parents, I finally managed to admit to myself that I was in fact bi (with a huge preference for women). Mike, Will, Robin and Vickie, mean so much to me and other queer people. I love them with all of my heart. The Byler community has made me feel so welcome and loved, and I hope you guys feel the same. Even though I have my worries, I trust the duffer brothers to give stranger things the ending it deserves. (Please don’t end like the umbrella academy that was actually so bad) Thank you for reading my thoughts and have a wonderful day/evening ❤️ ALSO it’s Christmas Eve as I post this so Merry Christmas Eve and happy holidays to those of you celebrate something else!
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ot3 · 6 months ago
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if really not giving a shit* about drag makes you homophobic then im a proud homophobe tbh
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buddietommys · 2 months ago
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"Why not?"
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"I wish you were a girl."
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#hughlander#at first i thought of hughie saying the first quote but the more i thought about it the more it made sense for it to be john HEAR ME OUT..#he was obviously trained to only enjoy the whole “american dream” so ofc that picture perfect look for him would be a woman next to him#while he himself is a piece of shit and cares only about his image he also just doesnt give a shit#(based on his behavior l8r on in the show) he also just doesnt care what anyone has to say especially since in his eyes he is THE strongest#no one can say anything to him and hes untouchable..which is why his odd obsession with hughie will prove to be zero issue#and while he tries to make a connection with hughie in his own overly possesive way hughie holds himself firm with his actions#(lowkey where things gets ooc oh well idc) homelander does try and make SOME sort of attempt in picking at his brain anf at hughie as to#figure out WHY he even is interested in “that loser” and in doing so he eventually finds that hughie for whatever stupid reason#notices that he GENUINELY does care about people and that its not some front like he really does and TRY to see some good in people#so john opens up slightly to him about what people at vought did to him as a kid and its those moments where homelander tries to make it-#light buy hughie looks at him and i mean really /looks/ at him and says “jesus thats fucked Im sorry” and john is absolutely dumbfounded#like so dumbfounded and the god honest yet short comment in regards to him opening up about his past#essentially john starts to feel what he always imagined what “feelings” are supposed to be and after a long time of him and hughie oddly#finding some sort of “middle ground” he tries to pull a move in a moment of odd peace amongst the two and hughie jerks back#john is so confused and i mean REALLY confused#he thought he read all those “signals” right based on the romantic films he was forced to watch why is hughie acting like this?#he doesnt want to even think about what this pain in his chest is and all he can ask is “why not?”
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freakinator · 1 month ago
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yknow i really do wish the lsers would evaluate their ableism/sanism problem at some point but i doubt thats ever gonna happen considering that shits normal in society and barely seen as a problem even in leftist spaces
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shirogane-oushirou · 2 months ago
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
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[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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hydrangeyes · 3 months ago
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I am both ecstatic Dandadan has an anime now and extremely nervous
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splorpo · 11 months ago
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What are you hating on lately? Not judging I want to join you
can we kiss on the mouth
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thepringlesofblood · 1 year ago
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fckin. i've watched Tin Can Bros' masterpiece Spies are Forever a bajillion times. I've listened to the soundtrack a bajllion times. when my phone malfunctioned and I lost all the music I downloaded from my dad's giant folder of pirated mp3s, the fuckin Spies Are Forever soundtrack was one of the 3 albums that remained bc it was one of the only ones I'd actually bought. which means i listened to it over and over and over until I was able to get student-discounted Spotify (and tbh i do still listen to it over and over, just on Spotify).
and I JUST NOW realized that Curt's beard from the 4 years after Owen's death is a double entendre.
the only other queer person he knew in his line of work just fucking died. of course he gets a beard.
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antirepurp · 7 months ago
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oh dear jojo ova discussion is threatening to give me grade A stardust crusaders brainrot again. but like i already did a whole-ass rewrite on part3 that incorporates themes from the ova so what the fuck am i even going to do with this ??
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gwensy · 9 months ago
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sorry for reblogging fugly trends from 2012 it's for my enrichment
#have i ever told u guys about my early 2010s fashion and pop culture fixation#i got a gen you ine aeropostle skirt recently ive never been happier#also gonna try and get my hands on some freshtops tanks#eventually#also their shorts though ive only found one secondhand listing in my size#i need the naked1 pallet or i'll die#its funny to me because like#yes within fashionblogging and lifestyle teen youtube girls from that era#consummerism was a massive thing (it still is but its so obvious when you look at blog archives and videos from that era)#youtubers with non disclosed sponsorships#bethany mota and amanda steele vaguely saying “this brand sent me this product to give to you guys!”#it was really just watching the birth of what we know as influencers today and its really interesting to me#theres a lack of cuts theres a lack of scripting theres long tangents#people were only just then realizing you can make money via haul videos and makeup tutorials#bethany mota had a fashion line at aeropostle purely because of her status as a youtuber#there was a big rise at the time of people being against flaunting overpriced designer during that time because of the recession#but there was still a hugggeee hold with consumerism and classism#hauls with brandy and f21 and ae like i cant afford that im sure you cant afford $600 at american eagle on a weekly basis#i have lots of thoughts idk#anyways backtracked#i think its funny because here i am talking about how horribly i need b&bw and vs pink#but like its all secondhand shit for $15 online now#nobody wants this stuff!!!!!! cycles!!! capitalism!!!! i dont know you get what i mean!!!!!!!!!!!#skyler posting
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dream-sans-mogai · 4 days ago
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You know what? I'm not done.
The fact y'all white mogais fought tooth and nail to not have to put white in your bios or somewhere readily available was actually insane and confirms my already existing theory that some of you think once you have a certain amount of kins, f/os, irls, mental illnesses, xenogenders, orientation modifiers, alters and neopronouns, you lose white privilege and it absolutely shows that you do not lose that privilege exclusively because y'all have become pretty consistent white saviors lmao
Like y'all literally cried about it being too identifiable about you and being the same as doxxing like you weren't already sharing with everyone the exact percentages of your orientation attraction, age, state you live in, public name, like... I have to wonder hard how many of y'all participate in anti-racism activism to be an ally, actually understand why certain things are actually racist and help POC and how many of you exclusively do it to look better to other (white) activists and ease your white guilt.
Now y'all aren't even including byi/stance pages on top of a total lack of dni and wonder why radqueer beliefs are seeping in and every new term is basically transabled under a different name. I called it when I first saw this new batch pop up and I'm saying it now, they have their radqueer blogs with their radqueer content that you have blocked and they have their other blog named something like prxncxss-of-nxght or something with $50 worth of custom lazy caard graphic edits with needy streamer girl and 17 titles but no public stances for all their normal xenogender content. You didn't fight it so there they are. They ain't saying shit. Hell, no one said shit when ra/diomo/gai litterally reblogged a word for word transabled term. "Internal self" you realize that's just flowery language right? Like the creator themselves already said that it applied "to the soul and not the physical form". Please read a room. "#disability"? Are you actually fucking kidding me? No one batted an eye?
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I don't think the community is dead because I don't follow a lot of big names anymore or because a lot of big names have deactivated, y'all just stopped caring and moved on despite all these beliefs you said you cared about. I don't really care, I've pretty much known from day one that a majority of the community is literally just full of shit about all these 8 paragraph basic feminism posts and vents crying about racism from fully white people.
I'm not someone to rip someone apart publicly for being what they say they are, then there's no need, but lieing about it? Damn, at least be shitty honestly.
Don't harass me, the creator of that term or ra/diom/og/ai over this. Just block and move on, I'm not having some public drama back and forth over a clearly transabled term.
#clover speaks#no one said a word#no call out no notes calling it what it is coiner is a literal radqueer#like yall dont care and even though i knew it im just glad i dont have to pretend to believe ur activism claims anymore#you wonder where i went i went back to my art back to things that make me happy#this community may be less trigger happy but now they are snuggling up to radqueers just like i predicted#i knew it was gonna happen and i knew the community would just keep going and its why i hooped off this train years ago#despite yalls claims of being critical inclusionists and wanting to educate instead of hate ive seen this all happen before#the inclusionist vs exclusionist saga didnt die because one side beat the other#a fuck ton of inclusionists became map supporters over night and all the exclusionists just lost interest and moved on#this is what will continue to happen to every movement the ultra progressives on this site create until you grow a backbone#yall are so scared of invalidating someone who is genuinely harmful that youve become the thing you claimed you hate#ive clocked multiple terms that were ableist or interphobic but because yall never make any effort to actually listen to us#you've allowed radqueers to basically indoctrinate you while the rest of us watch you zombie shuffle onwards#youve liberalpilled inclusionmaxxed ur way into the fucking sun#im not coming with yall yall have fun but im not going to smile to ur face and pretend you even remotely have disabled and intersex peoples#best interests at heart#the community has always been ableist#the community has always been racist#the community has always been interphobic#it wont change until any of you can accept that just cause you feel some way in passing dosent mean its a valid identity#even if its not in passing its still not inherently morally neutral#I'll keep being me but like literal transabled terminology is seeping in and its hitting the worst of us first but yall have never listened#so not shocking nor surprising that no one caught this and thus did not say shit#yall love to scream that your moderate personality disorder is the same as my severe autism and subsequent mental disability are the same#every july but you sure dont give a single shit when someone pretends to have our condition and makes up a word and throws some pantones on#a png and calls it valid#grow a backbone or continue being the laughing stock of the disability community i aint helping either way
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indigodawns · 10 months ago
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#these are just some thoughts re: friendship as a result of tonight that i need to jot down somewhere but#realising that i really do have a strict and set idea of Good Friend(ship) and what that entails to me#and id written people off bc i wasn't yk ~receiving love or friendship the way id prefer and i was angry with them for that/hurt about it#did i communicate that to them though? nooo. was i fully right in that? also no. like just bc i felt unheard didn't fully mean#that they were doing something wrong. they were trying in their own way (and sometimes they weren't really or it just wasn't nice)#but that's about how we match and how we communicate right? this is so silly that's so basic but it never fully clicked for me like this#i was blaming them for stuff and building up resentment without ever expressing that (and i still haven't yk dhshsjd)#and i think where i went ~wrong was in thinking that bc i felt that way they weren't ~giving me what i need#when it's like... but did i pick up on the ways in which they DID appreciate me and show me love etc? did i give them ANYTHING to work with?#(ok yes occasionally but also... tangent but i was watching a variety show and they were teasing woozi about how#he gives interviewers/hosts literally nothing to work with. like no extra information for them to ask about or tease him for or anything#and i was like ohhhhhh. yeah i do do that sometimes with friends and it's genuinely smth i don't really know how to do like#giving casual information (but not too much and not too little???) so they can then ask questions etc. so then if im like ughh#they never ask (the right) questions or show interest (or let me talk but that's a different thing dhsjdjd) it's like...#well do i give them the chance to? much to think about thank you woozi)#anyways where was i dhsjsnsnsjns idk but it's soooo annoying that i haven't figured this all out yet#but im slowly letting go off a bunch of resentment that has truly no business being here and im trying to self reflect and all that#and im honestly doing so shit some days but others days it's? finding stuff that matters to me on a deeper level ig?#and all of it really does pale in the face of multiple genocides and it's. but yk. if i want to keep fighting#i need to build a strong foundation and sort my shit out as well and be present so im really really trying#and beating my stupid stupid depression and brain with a stick until i get there
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