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[packman-packaging-india]

Which Custom Tape Should Your Business Use?

In the world of packaging and branding, choosing the right custom tape for your business is a crucial decision. Custom tape not only serves the practical purpose of sealing packages but also acts as a powerful branding tool. With a plethora of options available in the market, selecting the tape that aligns with your business needs and objectives is essential. In this article, we’ll explore the factors to consider when choosing custom tape and highlight some popular options.

Which custom tape to use for your business?

In this article, Mr Gaurav Jalan, Founder of Packman Packaging India’s leading custom tapes manufacturer for retail and e-commerce businesses shares ideas for choosing custom tape. Let us what it is about.

Consider Your Branding: Custom tape is an excellent opportunity to extend your brand identity beyond the confines of your product. Consider the colors, logo, and overall aesthetic of your brand when designing custom tape. Whether you opt for a bold and eye-catching design or a subtle and sophisticated look, the tape should reflect the essence of your brand. Material Matters: The material of the custom tape plays a crucial role in its functionality and appearance. Common materials include polypropylene, PVC, and paper. Polypropylene is durable and cost-effective, making it a popular choice for general packaging. PVC offers a higher level of strength and is resistant to moisture and chemicals. Paper tape, on the other hand, is eco-friendly and provides a rustic appeal. Choose a material...

Read Here: https://www.packman.co.in/blog/buy-custom-logo-printed-tape/

Gaurav Jalan, CEO & Director, Packman Packaging

Mr. Gaurav Jalan is the Founder and Director of Packman Packaging, one of the largest Indian packaging company that has been serving some of the world’s eminent technology, pharmaceutical, retail, fast-moving consumer goods, food, courier, publication, Jewellery, fashion, e-commerce organizations for the past 30 years.

A brilliant academic, a good graphic designer and a graduate from India’s top management institutes, Mr. Jalan is a visionary businessman and an eminent spokesperson on matters related to the Indian Packaging industry. Under the leadership of Mr Gaurav Jalan, Packman.co.in (Packman’s official website) became India’s first e-commerce store for packaging solutions in the year 2002 (5 years before Flipkart was launch).

Today, Packman Packaging manufactures more than one lakhs of corrugated rolls, corrugated boxes, high-quality bubble sheets, safety/courier bags and more from it state of art manufacturing unit, located in Delhi NCR region. The manufacturing unit uses advanced packaging machinery and printing technology that ensures Packman’s customers get fast and efficient delivery, high-quality brand representation through their product packaging.

Packman Packaging Top Offerings

Custom Corrugated Boxes – Packman Packaging is one of the largest manufacturers of 3 ply corrugated boxes in India, 5 ply corrugated boxes, and 7 ply corrugated boxes along with corrugated rolls in India. At Packman’s online store you can customize (with your logo, graphics, shipping instruction) and buy corrugated boxes at the Best Manufacturer Rates and at Best Quality, Get PAN India Delivery, Free Shipment, Discounts on Bulk orders

Tamper Proof Courier Bags – You can buy Tamper Proof 60 Microns Security Courier Bags and 50 microns security at the Best Manufacturer Rates and at Best Quality, Get PAN India Delivery, Free Shipment, Discounts on Bulk Orders.

Stand Up Pouches – You can buy all kinds of customized and non-customized Stand-Up Pouches at the best wholesaler Rates and at the Best Qualities. Some of best seller stand up pouches at Packman store are:

Transparent Pouches with Zip Lock Kraft Finish Stand Up Pouches with Zip Lock Custom Printed Stand Up Pouches Oval Window Stand Up Pouches. Silver Standup Pouches with Zip Lock Stand Up Pouches with Nozzle for Handwash, Ketchup and for Food Paste packaging. 

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[guavi]

I made Aziraphale’s waistcoat about two months ago and boy it was a journey

Rant about the process under cut!

First thing to do was pick a fabric. For the visible fabric on the front and collar, I knew I definitely wanted to use something piled. I also did not want to use a synthetic fabric, which would have been cheaper but miserable to wear. I settled on cotton velveteen which would be more comfortable, slightly cheaper and easier to work with than silk velvet, and generally less shiny than silk. I was able to order some beautiful cotton velveteen from someone local.

Unfortunately it was not even in the same ballpark as the color I needed. This was due to a combination of reasons including the lighting in the photos they had (they were online only and didn’t have a storefront I could walk into), piled fabric in general being nigh impossible to accurately photograph the color of, and probably also some variations between dye batches. This is why we buy swatches when we can, folks.

The fabric itself was absolutely lovely though. So. No biggie I’ll just dye this myself what could go wrong

The dark brown here is after the first dye; the scrap laying on top on the right is the original color; the beige coat underneath for color reference. Note that even the colors in this picture looked quite different from irl. I did dip a scrap in first to check the color, but because Dyeing Is Weird and also I made some mistakes the final dye did not end up the same. I can write several more paragraphs on why this probably happened. We’d be here for a while.

But maybe it’ll be fine right? The color’s not exact but not offensive, maybe I’ll just start sewing and it won’t bother me that much.

Here’s a bit of that process, where you can see the interior of the waistcoat with interlining and twill tape, following some 19th century construction techniques. Lots of tedious but relaxing hand sewing. (Also, real pockets!)

I chose broadcloth for the interlining rather than a more typical canvas, because I wanted a more soft and aged look rather than crisp and new.

(I made another mistake here using cotton twill tape straight off the roll, which shrunk later in the process. You can see this later in how the edges pucker a bit. Oops. Oh well.)

(I also have no other photos of this stage because I went into the hyperfocus zone and forgot about everything except the task in front of me)

Turns out I was not ok with the color. It bothered me a lot.

So I tried to bleach it a tad to lighten the color, but Bleaching Is Also Weird and doesn’t always give you back the same color but lighter.

I got back something extremely orange tones, which bothered me even more. Had a minor breakdown until reboot papped me and helped me talk through how to fix this.

This ended up going through another round of light bleaching, and two rounds of dyeing over with blue to cancel out the orange. Finally I got something I was happy with!

You can very clearly see the puckering here caused by the shrinking tape..thankfully a good steaming was able to get rid of the worst of it.

The color is also slightly uneven if you look very closely, because rounds of the dyeing/bleaching happened after it was sewn together rather than as fabric pieces. Oh well. I can chalk this up to an “aged” look.

Time to finish it off with some buttons and 19th century style hand-worked buttonholes! The buttons aren’t accurate but I just went for ones that were the right size and vibes.

Last step was to add the wear around the buttons, hem, and collar. I’m sure there’s some faster way to do this, but I did it with a pair of eyebrow tweezers to pluck out the pile and a bit of sandpaper to finish off.

And that’s it! For the waistcoat at least. I also made the outer coat, the bow tie, and the blue shirt because I couldn’t find one for purchase that fit me. I still need to make other things. But that’s for another time.

[thedo0zyslider]

Found On A Rainy Day - 1k words

There is a knock at the door, one that leaves a box full of surprises.

Or: Treebark week 2023, Day 3: Puppies!!

A03 Link

It's a rainy day one day, the day that there is a knock on Martyn and Ren's front door. The latter is upstairs, busy with some work he has to do digitally, though the man swears he'll been down in just a minute. But Ren's been swearing that for the past twenty minutes or so, so Maryn isn't very inclined to belive him anymore.

He calls up that he'll get the door, and opens it as Ren's responding shout of okay rings from the second story. 

The blonde finds no one at the door when he opens it, and looks around in slight confusion. The rain might be starting to pour outside, but even through all that he can't see any sort of movement. Except for the rain, the world out there seems completely still. Martyn’s about to close the door, as he's not too fond of how he's getting slightly damp from the downpour; small bits of hair already starting to stick to his face. 

And then he looks down, and there has been a box sitting at his feet this whole time. A brown cardboard one that's been getting more soaked then the blonde had ever been. 

Well, dropping it off and running was certainly a strange move from the mailman. 

At first glance it looks like a package, and he's about to ask Ren what the hell he ordered, because Martyn certainly didn't buy anything online recently. But he glances at his again, and there is tape holding the box shut, but not the usual hard to open with your bare hands kind they usually put on these things. There's no sort of logo or branding on the box either, which is weird if Ren did order something online. And if he looks at the side, there are small holes. Like air holes maybe, and Martyn suddenly had a bad feeling about what might be in that box in front of him. 

"Hey babe," He calls, turning inside a bit. "Can you come down here for a second?" 

As Martyn turns back to face the box, Ren calls down to him, probably able to hear that something is off in Martyn’s voice. "Yeah, what is it?" He can hear the frown in his partner’s from here as he crouched down to open the supossed package in front of him. 

He pulls his hoodie over his head and tugs at the strings first, because it is still raining out there. Well, there is a small overhang above their door and all, but it's very clearly not doing much. There's a soaked cardboard box in front of him to prove it. 

As he's starting to open the box, breaking through the kind of tape you can buy at a crafts store or discount one, Ren's footsteps sound in the main room behind him. 

It's a good thing too, because Martyn opens the lid of the package and feels something wet start to nose at his hand. A little bewildered, he opens it further, and finds a few sets of eyes staring back at him. It takes a minute for the blonde to realize what exactly he's staring at, but once he does he drags the box closer to the door, and picks up one of the creatures from it. He feels bad for letting the box sit there in the rain for so long, standing in front of it like a buffoon. 

He stands, holding a small puppy in his arms, one that rather seems to like people. It sniffed his face, tounge sticking out a little bit. Martyn laughs, feeling it's tiny tail thump against his arm. 

Ren is behind him now, trying to peer over his shoulder. "What's wrong, dude?" His partner asks, slightly concerned gaze falling onto the blonde's back. 

"You didn't order a box of puppies, did you?" Martyn asks with a smile, turning to face his boyfriend. The one in his arms is colored like a chocolate lab might be, but who's ears are pointy instead of floppy. He couldn't identify the breed of the thing at first glance, so he assumes it's a mix of some kind, or it's some dog breed he's only heard of passively yet never really seen before.

Ren's face lights up at the sight of the animal in his arms, and crouched down to look into the rest of the box. "Hey little dudes and dudettes!" He says softly, picking up a second puppy from the box. Second of about five, maybe six, if Martyn had countess right the first time. 

"I wasn't expecting there to be dogs at the door, man!" He says, now holding a puppy in his arms as well. One that's more sad and scared of people than Martyn’s seems to be. "I thought it was something more serious!"

"Welk, it's kinda serious," Martyn says with a slight frown, crouching down to return his puppy to it's siblings in the box. "Someone left the poor things in the pouring rain after all."

"Yeah...just like a movie cliché or something..." Ren mumbled, carrying the puppy he was holding inside as Martyn picked up the box. The rest of the animals inside made sounds of surprisebat the sudden movement, but none protested or tried to jump out of the box as they were moved into the couple's small living room. 

He sets the box down, and opens it fully, allowing the rest of the puppies to jump out if they want to. Ren puts the ones he's carrying down, and goes to fetch a towel to dry them off with. 

Slowly but surely, Martyn manages to get all the puppies out if the box. Some are more scared than other, but eventually all seven if them are sitting on his living room floor. Seemed he'd missed one when counting after all. 

Ren returns with the towel, and starts to gently dry one of the pups dampened fur. He hands Martyn another one he'd grabbed, and the blonde gets to work as well. 

"We're gonna have to get them food and stuff after this." He mutters, pausing to scratch one of the puppies, a brown one with parts of white fur on it, a few scrapes behind the ears. It's one of the less skittish ones, a few of It's siblings understandably being a bit wary of people. 

"Yeah..." Ren responded quietly, a third dog curling up next to him as he did so. His boyfriend glances at the pups laid beside his legs, and smiles softly. "They seem to like me, don't they?"

"Well, you are a dog!" Martyn says, being close enough to give Ren his own scratch behind one of his ears. His boyfriend's tail thumps against the floor of that, and he giggles. This exact thing had happened so many times that Ren doesn't even say anything in protest, just blushes in light embrassment. 

"They're adorable..." Ren mutters a few moments later, holding a rather shy seeming pup to his chest. Martyn narrows his eyes good naturedly at that. 

"We can't keep any!" He laughs, petting another dog as he dries water from it's fur. 

"But look at them!" Ren protests, and he makes a pretty convincing argument. These are some very cute little guys and girls. 

"Taking care of one dog is already hard enough!" He jokes, and Ren laughs loudly, but not too loudly, as to not startle the puppies. And they lapse into silence again until both men are sure the dogs around them are fully dry and probably no longer freezing. 

"I can go get the stuff now, if you think you can handle all these guys?" Ren asks, standing slowly. Martyn nods in response, and before he knows it Ren is gone, and he is home alone with seven little dogs. 

The poor guys seem pretty tired, all of them clearly wanting to Sniff around and investigate the house, but they all end up flopped on the ground instead. Martyn smiles, and decides to set up a space for them in the downstairs bathroom. He would like to have them closer to he and Ren just in case, but he's not sure if the pups have grasped what stairs are yet. 

So he goes to essentially baby proof the bathroom. He closes the toilet lid so they can't drink the water and whatever germs reside in it, makes sure all the cabinets are closed nicely, and figures that they can't do much about the dogs exploring the shower at the very least. 

He finds a few blankets tucked away in a closet, the soft ones they never use, and spreads them across the tile of the bathroom floor. He suposses the puppies can eat when Ren returns back with food, and probably some toys, or whenever they want to. Considering that some basically fall asleep in his arms as he carries them into the bathroom. 

He stays with them for a bit longer, at least until his boyfriend returns home, and snaps a picture of all seven of the puppies. He sends it to a group chat--the big one full of eighteen of their friends--and asks if anyone can make room for a dog or two. He knows they'll probably keep one, already sensing both he and his boyfriend getting attached despite Martyn’s own earlier protests, but still knows they can't keep all seven; unfortunately. 

He gives the first dog he'd picked up some more scratches, chuckling lightly at the messages that flood the group chat. He does so until Ren comes home and he hears the door opening, and it is time go greet his boyfriend and feed some poor, formerly abandoned puppies. 

[sheliesshattered]

Like I mentioned at the end of my last post, besides making a few alterations to my shirt and vest for my Batuu Bound outfit, I also got started on a new sewing project over the last two weeks, something which might also make an appearance if/when we're able to go to Batuu again, but until then will also be a nicely functional piece just around the house.

To back up a bit, I ordered a lightsaber for my birthday -- as you do when you're an adult going through a resurgence of your childhood love for Star Wars, lol -- but the one I bought on Amazon ended up being not quite what I was hoping for. I returned it and spent some more time researching exactly what I wanted for my purposes (spinning and flow arts) and what would fit my small hands and short stature the best.

I ended up ordering from an excellent small business called Vire Sabers that lets you assemble your own lightsaber from the 'variable hilt component' system of pieces that all fit together. I spent a lot of time looking through all the various pieces and combinations, including putting them all together in a photo editor until I had something that I was happy with, that is just mine, and no one else's.

The saber really deserves a post all of its own, but first I want to do some weathering on the hilt and get some video of the flow skills I've been building up over the last week and a half since it arrived. I'll post something about it eventually.

And anyway, this post is really more about sewing a padded sheath for the saber.

It's another stash-busting project, like everything else in my Batuu Bound set, for which I only bought ~$4 of cotton batting -- which is handy because when I started on it, I wasn't sure when Jack and I would be working next. The contract work situation has resolved now, but even without that, it's always nice to move fabric and crafting supplies out of my stash and into a finished, useful item.

With consideration to possibly wearing this on my back with my Batuu Bounding outfit in the (near?) future, I decided to go with a brown color palette. From my stash I pulled out:

some yardage of non-stretchy faux suede that I probably bought more than 10 years ago for a project I can no longer remember, that has kind of a grippy texture to the suede surface

wool scraps left over from the screen-accurate Jedi robe I sewed for Jack in 2012

the tan cotton canvas I bought in January when I was thinking about covering the zippers of my Moment vest rather than sewing a completely new one

brown RIT dye that again I have no idea when or why I bought it, along with a little pink and violet RIT dyes probably left over from Hit Girl in 2010

brown velcro left over from an ill-fated attempt at building disability-friendly pillows for my couch nest

~34" of 1" wide twill tape left over from my steampunk corset I sewed in 2011

rock climbing-rated seamless aluminum O rings left over from the tensegrity stand and tent I built for Wasteland Weekend 2018

dark maroon thread that came in a set of thread that I bought online when I sewed my Oswin Oswald cosplay in 2020 and couldn't go to a store to buy just one color of thread, lol

The cotton canvas was perfect for the exterior of the case/sheath/bag thing, but the color wasn't a great match for the rest of my Batuu Bounding outfit. I had used a bit of the canvas to make a collar stand for Jack's jacket late last month, so I zigzag stitched the cut edges and threw it in the washing machine with a bunch of nearly boiling water, salt, and the brown, pink, and violet RIT dyes. I had more of the brown than the pink and the violet together, but my hope was to bring the "dark brown" RIT color plus the slightly greenish tan of the cotton towards a warmer brown. I let it agitate for about half an hour, and ended up really loving the final color.

With the exterior in progress, it was time to figure out the interior. I knew I wanted to make this case/sheath padded to give the saber a bit of cushioning while being carried around, but I also didn't want to buy more than I would use (or spend a ton of money, given that I was buying this while we were in between work contracts), so most quilt batting was out, as was most foam. I ended up buying half a yard (18") of 90" long cotton batting, then cutting it into four 9" x 45" pieces and layering those on top of each other. It's not a huge amount of loft, but it is a good amount of squish, and hopefully reasonable padding for the circumstances I expect to use the case in.

I sandwiched the cotton batting between one layer of the brown (Jedi robe!) wool and one layer of the non-stretch faux suede. In the picture below, the darkest brown is the wool, and just to the left of that is the dyed canvas.

The wool won't be visible at all once this is all sewn together, and the faux suede only slightly visible at the top opening, but I like how the colors all coordinate without matching exactly.

Since the cotton batting is pretty solid, quilting wasn't entirely necessary, but I did want to make sure the layers stayed together without shifting around too much, and also give the thick layers specific places to bend to form a nice round tube shape. I ended up quilting it into six narrow panels that run the whole length of the sheath, with the outer two panels each 1 cm wider for seam allowance when I sew this into a tube.

I also narrowed the entire interior from 9" (measured flat) to 8", so that it hugs the saber better, and so that I can fit the narrow portion of the canvas around the bulk of the interior + saber.

The notch cut out of the upper left corner of the interior is there to create a flap that will fold over the open end of the bag/case and secure in place with velcro. I may try to find ways to sneak a few velcro attachment points into the exterior, so that it can be closed at various lengths (ie with or without the hilt).

The dyed cotton canvas will eventually get a matching notch cut out of it, and the right sides of the interior and exterior sewn together before the interior is stuffed into the exterior, at which point it will look somewhat like this:

Before I sew the exterior into a tube, I'm going to sew a pocket or two for carrying small essentials like blade tension screws. I'll also sew the twill tape into place, set slightly in from the top and bottom, and put those aluminum rings onto the twill tape when I do. That way the carrying strap will be gripping the whole case, all the way around, rather than have all the stress in one place. The lightsaber is only about two and a half pounds, and I can't imagine the case will weigh any more than that, but still, I want to be sure that there's nice firm support that won't give out and end up dropping the saber on the ground.

Also, can I just point out the color match between the dyed canvas and the old left over piece of twill ribbon? I wasn't aiming for that! I wanted a warm brown, which is why I added the pink and violet dyes (and would have added red if I had any on hand), but I didn't even pull the twill tape from my stash until after I was done dyeing the canvas. It matches so well it looks like I bought them as a pair, but they were bought more than a decade apart and didn't match before I just chucked whatever dyes I had on hand into the washer, lol. I would have been fine with a bit of a color mismatch, but this works too!

At this point, I think I'm ready to sew the interior into a tube, with the grippy faux-suede on the inside, and the wool on the outside where it will eventually be sandwiched next to the canvas. I have squares of the cotton batting from where I cut out the notch for the flap, so I think I'm going to try to sew those to the outside of the seam along the narrow bottom edge, to give that even more padding. That's a lot of layers to put through my sewing machine, so we'll see if it'll cooperate or if I'll end up doing that bit by hand.

After that, I'm going to turn my attention to the exterior. I have some smaller pieces of dyed canvas that aren't in the above pictures, that I'm going to use to make a crossbody strap that connects to the those rings, along with a pocket or two. The pockets, some of the velcro closures, and the twill tape and rings need to be sewn down before I can turn the canvas into a tube, so all of that will be the next major step in this project.

I think I also want to paint (or sharpie) some Aurebesh on the exterior canvas, something along the lines of 'fragile antique - handle with care'. The character I put together for my Batuu adventures isn't a Jedi (or a Sith), but rather makes a living finding antiques and oddities on outer rim worlds and transporting them to the inner rim and core worlds to sell at a profit. Not many people can read Aurebesh, but it'll add a bit of visual texture and storytelling all the same. And then if I have another run in with Kylo Ren, I can state for certain that I'm not a Jedi sympathizer, just an antiques dealer looking to turn a profit, lol.

If we do end up going to a Star Wars Nite at Disneyland, I think it could be fun to take my saber along, participate in the lightsaber meetup in front of the Falcon, and maybe even get some photos or videos of my spinning skills while I'm there. But even if this case is only ever used to store my saber here at home, it'll give it a place to live that's not my sewing table, where it's been living since it arrived, and the rings will let me hang it from a hook on the wall rather that take up any horizontal surface space. It'll be nice to look at while also keeping my saber easily accessible and ready to spin.

We don't have tickets for a Star Wars Nite event yet, but the first one is on April 16th, so I'm giving myself just under a month to finish this. I don't think I'll need that long -- but with the new work situation starting up tomorrow, it's really hard to say. I could have it finished by this time next week, or be hurrying to finish it the last weekend before we go back to Batuu, we'll just have to see how this next month works out.

Either way, I'll post more pictures here as it comes together.

[thekylemovie]

Hypnosis at CAPCon - Part 1

Klein woke up and ripped the headphones off his ears. To his disappointment, when he reached down to grab his diaper, he found it completely and utterly dry.

“Come on!” he cried. In frustration, Klein banged his fists on the bed and tilted his head back in anguish. Another failed tape, another failed night, another dry diaper.

Klein had been into diapers for as long as he could remember. He had started out small of course, sneaking depends from the grocery store and the usual stuff you hear about from people. He had then evolved into buying from sample stores and then from the larger companies like Tykables and Northshore.

But as long as he could remember, he had one specific fantasy, one specific state of mind he wanted to be in. Klein dreamed of being a bedwetter.

There was something delicious about completely losing control completely unable to control yourself and waking up with a soaked wet diaper, squishy and warm - the ultimate sign of regression.

This is why, for the past several years, Klein had gone to every single hypnosis vendor he could think of to make his vision a reality.

The journey was difficult of course. No one wants to admit to themselves that they want to return to bedwetting like a child. And many people offered hypnosis files. Klein had gotten used to the process by now. He’d receive the file on his alternate email address, download it to his phone and eagerly go to bed at night waiting for the magic to happen. Sometimes, a male's voice would remind him in soft tones that he needed diapers. In other recordings, it would be an aggressive woman telling him just to “relax” and “let go” because his diapers would protect him.

But each time Klein would wake up dry. Utterly dry. Completely dry.

Granted, Klein had tried drinking a ton of water before bed, so much water he’d feel it sloshing around inside his stomach every time he turned over in bed. He’d pull the diaper tapes tight and fall asleep on his back, his legs spread out slightly, willing himself to wet. But each time, he’d just wake up with pain in his abdomen a dry diaper, and an extremely hard erection.

Klein had even tried taking a sleeping pill, willing himself to just sleep through the wetting at night. But this tactic only resulted in him falling deep into sleep and the next morning waking up in a dry diaper and a painfully full bladder. Klein would then proceed to flood that diaper when awake, which defeated the point. Anyone can pee when they wake up in the morning, Klein would think bitterly.

Klein had bought books on the subject, reading them during breaks at work. The books were from people claiming they knew the secret to losing control overnight. Just loosen up your bladder during the day, train yourself to just use your diaper, the books all said after collecting his $9.99. But Klein wanted to be careful. Despite what many people said online, he had no interest in losing control during the day. Klein just wanted it at night. Klein wanted this his way. Besides, no one actually wanted to be incontinent.

It had been a few months since Klein had dragged himself out of his dry bed again, disappointed that he had not wet the bed. And now, at CAPCon, the annual convention of those who liked to wear diapers and have fun in those diapers, he was browsing the vendor tables.

The stuffy, medium-sized room had all sorts of vendors he had seen before. Clothing shops, furniture shops, and even writers who wrote mediocre ABDL fiction that told the same story repeatedly. After buying a pack of diapers from a vendor, a small table caught his attention.

The table simply said Stella’s Sleepys. It caught his eye because not only was “sleepies” misspelled, but there was a kind, fit-looking woman sitting behind the table reading a book.

Klein took a step closer and noticed she was wearing round glasses with dark brown hair that cascaded down her shoulders. The woman, whose name was no doubt Stella (it wasn’t Sleepies… that’s for sure) was wearing a simple army green tank top and a pair of dark blue jeans. At a glance, Klein noticed the book she was reading was a book on philosophy.

What was unusual was the table was completely empty, save for an envelope that just sat there bearing the number one.

“What does Stella’s Sleepys sell?” Klein asked casually, approaching the table and doing his best to sound nonchalant.

“This isn’t for you,” the woman said without looking up from her book. She pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. “Move along.”

Klein laughed a little bit. “Oh, come on, What’s in the envelope?”

The woman laughed. “It’s not for you.” Stella turned the page in her book.

Klein grabbed the envelope and the woman protested as he pulled it open. Inside was a piece of paper with a code on it. Klein made a mental note of the random URL right before Stella grabbed the envelope from him. But Klein shivered when he caught the words: Bedwetter Files.

Klein’s heart skipped a beat.

Bedwetter Files?

“Is this a hypnosis file?” Klein demanded.

Stella closed her book and placed the envelope into her book as a bookmark. “Yes, it is.”

“Do you make them, is that was Stella’s Sleepy’s makes?”

“Yes, but it’s probably best if you move on. You don’t look like the type of person who wants this.” Stella did Klein a once over with her eyes and pushed her book into her bag.

“Hold on a second…” Klein held his hands up and gestured around to the convention around here. “Everyone here wants this.”

Stella stood up and leaned over the table, and looked closely at Klein. “That’s presumptuous.” Stella then walked around the table and leaned on it while looking Klein in the eye. She spoke quietly as if they might be overheard at any second. “Every year, there’s one person at CAPCon who thinks they want what's on this tape, but the reality is they don’t.”

“Hold on a second.”

But Stella continued speaking in an even tone, bulldozing over Klein’s protest.

“Different types of people too. Sometimes it’s guys and girls like you dressed in sweatpants and (Stella’s voice hovered over unapproving) t-shirts, other times, it’s the people in full onesies and thick diapers with pacifiers hanging around their necks. Each time they show up, tell me they want to lose complete control and before you know it before the weekend is over, they are begging me to help them get it back.” Stella blinked and studied Klein’s face.

But Klein was insistent. “They clearly don’t know what they want.” Klein was breathless as he tried his best to remember the URL in his head. “Trust me, I want this.”

Stella shook her head. “No, you don’t.” And with that, she picked up her bag, shoved her book inside and walked away.

Klein closed his eyes for a second, thought deeply, and proceeded to type in the URL and code from the envelope into his web browser. He was rewarded with the proper website meaning his concentration had paid off.

A warning popped up on his phone warning him that this hypnosis file was designed for people who wanted to lose complete control and that once losing that control, it would be difficult to regain it. There was more text that talked about how the creator bared no responsibility for what happens, blah, blah, blah. Klein had seen all of this before.

Had Klein been honest with himself, he didn’t expect this hypnosis file to work. They never worked. But Stella’s performance earlier had him shaking with anticipation.

Klein clicked to accept and noticed there were three levels of recordings on the screen. They seemed to be ranked from low to intense. The file marked intense had another warning next to it that claimed it was for “experienced users only.”

Klein snorted.

At this point, he had tried every file out there and knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted to wake up the next morning with his diaper soaked and no memory of wetting. Klein wanted to have to use a booster every night in fear that he’d overflood his diaper and soak his bed. He wanted the erotic feeling of being unable to put his legs together as he lay helplessly on his back at night.

Klein wanted to be a real bedwetter.

For a moment, Klein bought into the idea that this could work for him.

So Klein clicked the “experienced users only” file and downloaded the file to his phone.

For some reason, the file was a little over a gigabyte large and came with another warning. Klein ignored the third warning of the week and climbed into bed. Right before pulling the covers over his head, he double-checked to make sure his diaper was on tight and that the leak guards were standing up and clicked play.

Instantly, every center of his brain came alive.

First, there was a dark low vibrating pulse that was nearly covered by soft angelic waves that crashed over the melody of the track. If the ocean had come alive and made music, this is what it would sound like. The pulse seemed to propel his body forward repeatedly, pushing his mind deeper and deeper into the track. While Klein knew he was falling asleep, he felt as if he were moving in real-time. Before Klein knew it, the waves crashed over him again, the soft electric tones urging him to relax and surrender to the waves. The waves were moving his body for him.

But when his mind probed deeper into the musical tones, he heard the voice. The voice was soft as if it was speaking directly into his consciousness, his very being. It was as if the voice weren’t hers, it was coming from beneath his very heartbeat. Klein’s mind focused on the voice and willed itself to listen closely to the soft delicate flow that hovered directly beneath the ocean.

The voice was speaking directly to the innermost part of his soul.

“You need your diapers… you only feel safe in your diapers… you need to wet your diapers… your diapers are a part of who you are… Every night you wet your diapers uncontrollably…”

Klein’s brain dove deeper into the voice followed the voice through the passageways and tunnels in his mind and willed himself to believe. Klein wanted to believe that this could work. He wanted to believe that he could become a bedwetter, and the voice told him he could.

“You can’t control your bladder…” the voice said softly. “You need to mess your diapers during the day….”

Wait a second… Klein’s mind stirred against the waves. I don’t want that. Hold on.

But the voice and the waves pushed him forward, demanding he follow its lead. Klein fought for a moment, gasped, and woke up.

***

There's more (including the epic conclusion of this story) on Patreon.

[tuttle-did-it]

Hey, listen, on first glance, it's harmless fun! So I get just being like 'yay! fun!'

I'm not trying to ruin it for everyone. Or scold anyone for thinking it's fun.

But I don't think people realise just *how much* waste there is during the holidays. Like, I just checked US stats and it says that in 2021 each PERSON generates 36 MORE pounds of waste in *December* than in other months of the year. They said that's equivalent of throwing away 7 computer monitors. It also said that nearly 1/3 of people who accepted a gift they didn't like threw it in the trash. Retailers dump 25% of returned products in landfills. in 2019, that was 5 BILLION pounds.

That's *so much* waste to me-- waste of money none of us have, time none of us have, and a waste into landfills that are alarmingly full. I'm not trying to be a grinch or ruin anyone's fun. But I do hope that people will start thinking about how much waste they have during the holidays. So it's not just wrapping paper, it's everything- the film that comes on most toys/electronics/etc is not recycle-able. So just be aware of how much damage holidays can do to the planet anyway.

But hey, let's think about ways you can still do stuff like this -- eco-friendly ways to do this (and just wrapping presents in general).

I grew up really poor; we wrapped things in clothes we were not using (usually summer clothes, but whatever we had). We used (and re-used) hemp twine, and it was fine. Like, here-- please find your gift of new socks wrapped inside this t-shirt you already own. Cool.

There was a LOT less clean up (you just fold the clothes back and put them away instead of having to haul the paper up, put them in a non-eco-friendly bin-bag, take the bin bag outside and then take the rubbish to the kerb for the binmen). I don't really do christmas, but when I did and wanted to be fancy (not use my old shirts to wrap stuff in) I bought a bolt of sustainable (cotton or bamboo, etc) fabric and just re-used the fabric as wrapping paper. You just need some nice jute or hemp twine to wrap it back up, or you can sew a ribbon in the sides so in pulls in (the way a bin bag would). You cut it to various sizes, you stitch up the sides. This lasts *decades*. (if you want to be *really* Eco-conscious, you can go through the clothes you cannot donate because they have holes etc and unstitch them, restitching them into wrapping sheets or fabric gift bags. There are absolutely tutorials on YT to do this)

And if you cannot be arsed with that, there are lots of places you can buy them online-- Etsy will definitely have them. Check out the Furoshiki knot wraps. Awesome.

If you're just going to get wrapping paper, don't forget the recycle-able paper tape and reuse the paper for as long as you can. If you're careful with it, it could last a couple years. Still best to try to get the eco-stuff, but I know that is more expensive. There is recycle-able wrapping paper, and recycle-able paper tape if you don't want to fuss with the twine. Eco-washi tape comes in lots of different designs, as well. Don't forget the eco-tags-- Just need to cut out a shape, poke a hole for some twine, and then write on the tags.

And if you want to do this tik-tok trend, you can use it to create your design, stuffing the fabric with socks or shirts you're not using for stability. Or all that brown paper wrapping you get in Amazon boxes. Or, if you're intent on building a person, you can actually just use clothes and stuff it with other clothes, putting the presents in the middle.

You can use postal paper (the brown recycled and recycle-able). All the filling from the amazon packages, pull it out, iron it between two clothes and then use that to wrap stuff. This is actually quite fun -- get yourself some watercolour paints and paint (or draw some stuff with sharpies) on some designs to customise it.

You can use newspaper, and/or old calendars you're about to throw away (maybe block out anything private if you need to).

All those cards you get all year that are absolutely not necessary but people still use them anyway? Use them to create a box, turn them (and any other card or paper you get throughout the year) into new paper (which is fun, especially for kids), or look on youtube for ways to turn them into new decorations and cards.

Old gift bags are great. Use them until they start to fall apart, then cut them down. You can use them to create new gift cards, new paper, or use them to wrap something smaller.

Like I said, I grew up really poor-- I was used to getting presents wrapped in my own scarf. So I don't really get this trend, it seems super wasteful for time, money and energy. I don't know about you, but I have zero monies. Spending lots of monies I don't have to do stuff like this seems silly and wasteful to me.

But I think most of this can easily be used for this tik-tok trend if that's what you want to do. You can do this trend. Just do it differently with a bit more eco-friendly materials in mind.

None of us have money to burn, and holidays are expensive in the first place. No reason to cause further expense to our pockets and our planet.

Will any of this be as internetable to show off as all the wasteful and expensive paper? Maybe not (unless you draw some really cool stuff on the newspaper or postal paper). But if a lot of people use this instead of all that un-recycled and un-recycle-able paper, it can make a difference. And if it just becomes a Thing You Do Every Holiday, it won't be weird if you get a gift wrapped in an old repurposed sweatshirt. It seems silly to me, anyway, to build a hoodie out of paper instead of just.. an old hoodie. So, you know, I'd argue DO put it on TT and instagram and try to get other people thinking about eco-friendly materials.

TL;DR - So yeah, if you really want to try this trend, go for it. Just try to use more eco-friendly materials (recycled and recycle-able paper, fabric, paper tape, twine) if you do it.

(and by the way, take half an hour to search online how to have a more eco-friendly holiday in general. Won't take long, just minor adaptations can make a huge difference)

My current favourite tiktok trend is the one where people wrap presents to look like something they’re not and some people get ridiculous with it

Like:

✨The dedication ✨

[pcwpolwrestling]

Extreme Election Night 2024-Part One

Last Week on PCW Extreme Political TV –Taped last weekend at Madison Square Garden in New York City. -AOC plays Madden football online against Tim Walz -Conservative Inc. and the Progressive Alliance object to PCW Champion Charlie Blackwell and the American Heartland Coalition buying a section of tickets close to the ring for ‘ordinary’ people. -MATCH #1: PCW Tag Team Champions Starz N. Stripes/’The Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism defeated Main Street USA (Mike the Mechanic/Farmer John Deer) -Starz N. Stripes/Stone Chism Interview -Konstantin Kisin’s ‘shocking’ report from inside MSG. -The Guild of Low-Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves complain collectively about the LA Times, Washington Post, and USA Today not endorsing candidates for president. -MATCH #2: Mark Cuban vs. ???- no contest as several strong, intelligent women aligned with Trump come out. -Extreme Election Night 2024 Preview -Pulp Fiction videos from: ‘The Ultimate Political Operative’ Kathryn Randall Collins, PCW Women’s Champion Catherine Cline, The Green World Order, PCW Tag Team Champions Starz/Chism, ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels, PCW Champion Charlie Blackwell, Progressive Alliance candidate Kamala Harris, and American Patriot candidate Donald Trump.

Political Championship Wrestling Extreme Political TV Taped at the DC Armory on Tuesday November 5th New York City, NY Saturday November 9th, 2024

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder ‘Low-Level New York Times Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE: Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

PCW Champion: Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland) Since 2/10/2024 Contenders: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance) Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots) Mike the Mechanic (Main Street USA)

PCW Women’s Champion: Catherine Cline (Independent) Since 9/21/2024 Contenders: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) Laura Brobert (American Patriots) ‘American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith (Main Street USA)

PCW Tag Team Champions: Starz N. Stripes and ‘The One-Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (American Patriots) Since 3/3/2024 Contenders: The Deplorables: Ray McAvay/’Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (American Heartland Coalition) The Green World Order: GreenPete/’Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (Progressive Alliance) The Sports Entertainment Corporation: Gator Bates/The Alabama Kid (SEC) Bi-Partisan Dream Team: Blue Dog D/RINO Main Street USA: Ken Worth-American Trucker/Farmer John Deer

Opening: “Main street U.S.A boarded up and dry Knowing what once was here just makes me want to cry Used to be the favorite place Now what remains are memories even time cannot erase

Old man Johnson’s store, where we grew up too fast All that remains today are echoes from the past Used to be a booming town Now all that’s left is either broken up or broken down…”

The Amy Grant song fades into the loud chant coming from the crowd inside the DC Armory…

PCW!… PCW!… PCW!… PCW!… PCW!… PCW!…

Johnny Suave and Colleen Crowder stand in the center of the ring, microphones in hand. The energy is electric, pulsing through the arena like a living entity.

Suave’s eyes sparkle with excitement as he raises his mic.

Johnny Suave: Hello everyone!  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to PCW Extreme Election Night 2024!”

His voice sends the crowd into a frenzy.

The camera pans across the armory, revealing a sea of red, blue, and a smaller section of green. In the red seats, American Patriot fans wave flags and brandish makeshift border walls. The blue section is a kaleidoscope of rainbow flags and “Tax the Rich” signs. Near the ring, the American Heartland Coalition supporters sport overalls and John Deere caps, waving cornstalks like foam fingers.

Johnny Suave: Tonight, we will find out who will become the next CEO of PCW.  Will it be the Progressive Alliance’s Kamala Harris!

The blue section erupts.

Johnny Suave: Or will it be the man who refuses to be counted out, former PCW CEO Donald Trump!

The red section stands and cheers.

Johnny Suave: With me tonight… ‘Low Level Reporter at the New York Times Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder.

Colleen Crowder adjusts her glasses, a hint of skepticism in her voice.

Colleen Crowder: Let’s not forget, Johnny, tonight is a pivotal night in PCW.  Will we embrace the future in Kamala Harris.  Or will we retreat to the past with Donald Trump… a fascist and convicted felon who’ll end PCW as we know it.

Suave chuckles.

Johnny Suave: Oh, Colleen, always the voice of reason.

The sarcasm drips from his voice.

Johnny Suave: But tonight, it’s Harris versus Trump.  The moment we’ve all been waiting for since PCW returned.  Reason takes a backseat tonight to raw, unfiltered extreme political mayhem!

Crowder’s brow furrows.

Colleen Crowder: Johnny, you keep forgetting… it’s the mainstream media… the legacy media… who determine the narrative.  WE decide what you need to care about.  We tell what you should think.  We tell you how you should feel about a particular issue.  That’s what being a journalist is all about.

Suddenly, the arena lights dim, and a spotlight hits the entrance ramp. PCW Owner Dawn McGill emerges from the back and is escorted to the ring by a team of burly security guards, their muscles bulging under tight black shirts. The arena erupts as she walks down the ramp.  The big screen televisions lining the wall display provocative, but tasteful, images from her recent Henhouse Magazine shoot, igniting a frenzy within the crowd. Fans jostle for a chance to touch her, reaching out with outstretched arms and pleading eyes. McGill strides forward confidently past the fans who jostle and reach out with outstretched arms towards her. She basks in the attention like a queen amongst her loyal subjects.

Suave’s eyes widen.

Johnny Suave: Here we go… it’s Dawn McGill! The mastermind behind this political circus!

Colleen develops quite the sour look on her face.

Colleen Crowder: Swell…

Dawn slides into the ring, her presence immediately commanding attention. She grabs a mic, her blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

Dawn McGill: Welcome, one and all, to the greatest show in American politics!

The crowd goes wild.

Dawn! Dawn! Dawn!

Colleen’s face tightens, her skepticism noticeable.

Dawn continues, her voice a mix of sultry and authoritative.

Dawn McGill: Tonight, we settle scores.  Tonight, we will make history, and most importantly, we will entertain!

She winks at the camera.

Dawn McGill: So buckle up, America. It’s going to be one hell of a ride!

As the crowd roars its approval, Colleen leans in to Suave.

Colleen Crowder: This is madness. We’re treating an important democratic process like a sideshow attraction.

Suave grins, caught up in the moment.

Johnny Suave: Maybe, Colleen. But isn’t that what politics has become anyway?  Let’s run down tonight’s show.

SENATE MATCH: The American Patriots (Bernie Moreno-Ohio, Ted Cruz-Texas, Josh Hawley-Missouri, Tim Sheehy-Montana, and Dave McCormick-Pennsylvania) vs. The Progressive Alliance (Sherrod Brown-Ohio, Cory Allred-Texas, Lucas Kunce-Missouri, Jon Tester-Montana, and Bob Casey-Pennsylvania)

MAIN EVENT-CEO OF PCW MATCH: Donald Trump w/J.D. Vance (American Patriots) vs. Kamala Harris w/Tim Walz (Progressive Alliance)

Johnny Suave: Colleen… your thoughts… not that I don’t think we already have a good idea already what they are.

Colleen Crowder: Johnny, don’t you be mansplaining to me.

Johnny Suave: Then get on with it and SHE-laborate then.

Colleen shoots him a dirty look.

Colleen Crowder: Johnny, it will NOT be a red wave tonight.  But… I think the Senate match could be very close and I think Kamala Harris will defeat Donald Trump… there’s no way Trump wins this tonight.

Johnny Suave: We shall see.  But first, let’s see how we got here tonight.  Originally, the current Supreme Dark Overlord of PCW Joe Biden was going to be the Progressive Alliance candidate tonight and looking for a second four year term.  But then… this happened…

The scene fades with Dawn basking in the adoration of the crowd, Suave beaming with excitement, and Colleen looking on with a mix of resignation and concern. The chants of “PCW! PCW! PCW!” echo through the arena, a harbinger of the chaos to come.

***

REPLAY: Donald Trump (American Patriots) vs. Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance)-Taped June 27th in Atlanta, Georgia The bell rings, echoing through the arena as CNN’s Jake Tapper and Dana Bash raise their arms in unison. Kimber Marshall’s voice cut through the roar of the crowd.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is one fall.  Introducing first… the former CEO of PCW… he’s going to…

The red seats shout back “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”

Kimber Marshall: …representing the American Patriots… DONALD TRUMP!

Trump strutted down the ramp in his signature navy suit and red tie, his golden hair gleaming under the spotlights.

Kimber Marshall: And his opponent…

Across the ring, a hooded figure shuffled out on stage.

Kimber Marshall: …he is the current CEO-er…SUPREME DARK OVERLORD OF PCW!

Occasionally, crackling bolts of energy emit from beneath the dark robe as if Biden was a political version of Emperor Palpatine.

Kimber Marshall: JOE… BIDEN!

Colleen Crowder: Oh my God, Johnny! This is going to be epic!  I can’t believe they’re doing this so early in the season but… hey… a quick knockout of Trump will put an end to this once and for all.

Suave rolls his eyes.

Johnny Suave: Let’s see if he can actually find his opponent first, Colleen.

As if on cue, Biden spins in a confused circle, his back to Trump. Referee Davey Keels gently turns him around, much to the crowd’s amusement.

*DING-DING*

Johnny Suave: And we are underway.  

Trump wastes no time, grabbing Biden in a snapmare and following up with a drop toe hold. The Supreme CEO of PCW hits the mat hard, but manages to fight back with a flurry of right hands and a clumsy shoulder tackle.

Colleen Crowder: Look at that fire from Biden!

Johnny Suave: I think that’s less ‘fire’ and more ‘flailing,’ Colleen.

Trump sidesteps Biden’s charge, sending the robed figure careening into the corner. As Biden struggles to regain his bearings, Trump unleashes a series of vicious boots to his opponent’s midsection.

Johnny Suave: The former PCW CEO is really taking it to Biden here. This could be over quick if-

A stray bolt of political force energy suddenly shoots out of Biden’s eyes, incinerating a hot dog vendor in the front row.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP-

Suave’s exclamation gets cut short by Crowder’s indignant squawk.

Colleen Crowder: That was clearly an accident! Biden’s just warming up!

The match continues, a bizarre blend of traditional wrestling moves and unpredictable bursts of mystical energy. As Trump applies a straitjacket hold, Biden’s thoughts race.

‘Come on, Joe,’ he tells himself. ‘You’ve faced tougher opponents than this. Remember corn pop? He was a bad dude…’

With a surge of strength, Biden breaks free, only to eat a wheelkick from Trump in the corner. The crowd goes wild as the two political titans battle for supremacy in the most literal sense possible.

Trump’s relentless assault continues as he executed a step-up enziguri, followed by a running knee that leaves Biden reeling. The crowd holds its breath as Trump goes for the cover.

“One! Two!” Jake Tapper and Dana Bash count in unison.

Johnny Suave: No!  Biden manages to kick out at the last second.

Undeterred, Trump transitions smoothly into an inside cradle.  Tapper and Bash count again but Biden kicks out at two. Frustration etches across Trump’s face as he stands up, gesticulating wildly at the CNN referees.

Johnny Suave: The count was fair and square! Trump can’t blame the media for this one!

Crowder scoffs.

Colleen Crowder: As if he’s ever needed a reason before.

As Trump argues with the refs, Biden stumbles to his feet, his eyes glowing ominously. Another burst of political force energy shoots forth and this time it takes out a popcorn vendor and a merchandise salesman.

Johnny Suave: Oh, come on! At this rate, we’re not going to have any concession vendors left!

In a move that shocks everyone, Trump suddenly produces a mirror from beneath the ring. As Biden turns, ready to unleash his political force bolts of energy towards his opponent, Trump holds up the reflective surface. The energy bounces back, catching Biden’s robes on fire.

Colleen Crowder: That’s not legal! Where’s the disqualification?

Johnny Suave: For using a mirror?

Biden flails, his robes ablaze. Trump swiftly moves in. He extinguishes the flames by rolling Biden up for a pinfall. The arena fell silent as Tapper and Bash’s hands hit the mat.

“One! Two! Three!”

**DING-DING-DING**

The bell rings.

Johnny Suave: TRUMP WINS!

Crowder is stunned by the result.

Colleen Crowder: I can’t believe it.  The CNN referees… they didn’t even try to help Biden!

Johnny Suave: No, they didn’t.  To their credit, Tapper and Bash called it right down the middle.  Donald Trump wins in the first of two pre-Extreme Election Night 2024 matches.

Suave grins to himself and we cut to a commercial break…

***

FEMA Commercial As the TV screen flickers, a deep, dramatic voice booms through the speakers…

Announcer: FEMA – We’re Here When You Need Us.

The camera pans over the devastation of Chimney Rock, North Carolina – homes reduced to splinters, cars overturned, and debris scattered across what used to be streets.

But there’s not a single FEMA worker in sight.

Announcer: But don’t worry folks…

The deep voice continues with forced enthusiasm.

Announcer: …we’ve got your back!”

*Cue awkward silence*

Cut to FEMA workers in Florida.  One of them encounters a damaged house with a TRUMP 2024 sign in the front yard.

FEMA Worker: Let’s see… avoid homes with Trump sign per leadership. Okay.

The FEMA worker moves on.  

The announcer quickly tries to salvage the situation.

Announcer: Um… wait a minute.  What’s going on here?

FEMA Official Ordered Relief Workers To Skip Houses With Trump Signs

Chad Hershey… FEMA’s Washington DC supervisor… rushes into the scene.

Chad Hershey: We are aware of it and we are taking action at this moment regarding the situation that you’re talking about.  FEMA will be providing a fuller statement.  We are “deeply disturbed” and “horrified” by the employee’s actions, and we have “taken extreme actions to correct this situation.”

Announcer: But-

Sudden end of commercial.

Johnny Suave: Well done, FEMA.  Well done.  All right.  Let’s go to Kimber Marshall for our next match.

***

MATCH #1-SENATE MATCH: The American Patriots vs. The Progressive Alliance The crowd’s chants fade as Kimber Marshall, all legs and charisma, climbs back into the ring. Her brown eyes sparkle with excitement as she raises the microphone to her lips.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for our Senate match! And it is…

The crowd roars in unison, “ONE FALL!”

Kimber grins, feeding off the energy.

Kimber Marshall: Introducing first, representing the American Patriots…

The arena erupts as Bernie Moreno, Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, Tim Sheehy, and Dave McCormick emerge on stage, posing like conquering heroes.

Kimber Marshall: Bernie Moreno from Ohio… Ted Cruz from Texas… Josh Hawley from Missouri… Tim Sheehy from Montana… and Dave McCormick from Pennsylvania.

The quintet pause on stage before making their way down the ramp.

Suave’s voice crackles with energy.

Kimber Marshall: The American Patriots are here!  They are fired up and ready for battle!

Colleen adjusts her glasses, her tone skeptical.

Colleen Crowder: Let’s hope they’re as prepared for governing as they are for grandstanding, Johnny.

As the Patriots strut down the ramp, Kimber’s voice booms again.

Kimber Marshall: And their opponents, representing the Progressive Alliance…

Sherrod Brown leads his team out, flanked by Cory Allred, Lucas Kunze, Jon Tester, and Bob Casey.

Kimber Marshall: Sherrod Brown from Ohio… Cory Allred from Texas… Lucas Kunze from Missouri… Jon Tester from Montana… and Bob Casey from Pennsylvania.

The Progressive Alliance five pause on stage and point towards the blue seats inside the DC Armory.  Then they head down the ramp.

Suave leans forward, his eyes gleaming.

Johnny Suave: Folks, we’re witnessing history here. This is Sherrod Brown’s fourth Extreme Election Night appearance!

Colleen Crowder: Impressive, Sherrod Brown has always been a reliable member of the Progressive Alliance.

The ring fills with posturing politicians.

Johnny Suave: Brown’s PCW career started back in 2006 when he defeated Mike DeWine for the Ohio Senate seat. He followed that up with victories over Josh Mandel in 2012 and Jim Renacci in 2018.

Colleen Crowder:  A winning streak that would make any wrestler proud, but he’s got to do it one more time tonight.

**DING-DING**

Chaos erupts. Cruz immediately tackles Allred, sending both men tumbling out of the ring and onto the floor. Hawley grabs a steel chair, swinging it wildly at Tester, who ducks and responds with a kendo stick to Hawley’s midsection.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Tester cracks Hawley in the back with the kendo stick.

Colleen winces as Kunze slams McCormick’s head into the announcer’s table.

Colleen Crowder: Look at the Progressive Alliance go!  Maybe we’ve got a blue wave coming tonight after all.

Johnny Suave: It’s raw, it’s real, it’s American democracy in action- WHOOPS!

Suave ducks as a cheese grater flies past his head, thrown by an overzealous fan.

In the crowd, Brown and Moreno grapple near a group of spectators, who gleefully offer up an assortment of kitchenware as weapons. Brown grabs a cast-iron skillet, brandishing it threateningly.

*BONK*

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!  SKILLET SHOT BY BROWN!

Moreno staggers back and grabs the barricade to keep him up.

Colleen Crowder: Look at that resourcefulness! Brown’s using his experience… and his constituent’s cookware… to defend his seat!

Johnny Suave:  What’s next, filibustering with a spatula?

Colleen Crowder: I’m not sure how to answer that.

The brawl spills back towards the ring and the chaos in the arena reaches a fever pitch as the wrestlers tumble back into the ring. Cruz, his face twisted in a snarl, grabs Allred by the hair and muscles him towards the ropes.

Johnny Suave: Cory Allred’s in trouble!

Cruz drives a couple shots to the gut.

Johnny Suave: Cruz is about to send Allred packing!

Colleen Crowder: Somebody stop him!

With a mighty heave, Cruz tosses Allred over the top rope. The crowd roars as Allred hits the floor with a sickening thud.

Johnny Suave: And there goes Allred! The Progressive Alliance is down a man!

Colleen’s eyes narrow behind her glasses.

Colleen Crowder: I thought Allred would have done better against Ted Cruz.

Before Suave can respond, Sheehy capitalizes on the momentum, hoisting Tester up.

Johnny Suave: HOLD ON!  JON TESTER IN TROUBLE.

Sheehy unceremoniously dumps him over and out of the ring.

Johnny Suave: TESTER’S DONE.  HE’S OUT!

Colleen Crowder: Unfortunately… I’m not surprised.

Johnny Suave: The American Patriots are cleaning house!

Colleen Crowder: It’s not over yet, Johnny.  I still think Lucas Kunze-

The ring clears quickly as Hawley dispatches Kunze over the rope.

Johnny Suave: Nope.  He’s gone too.

Colleen Crowder: Dammit!

McCormick also whips Casey over the top rope… but Casey grabs the ropes before his feet hit the floor.

Johnny Suave: HE’S NOT OUT YET!

Colleen Crowder: C’mon Bob!  Hang on!

This leaves Casey clinging desperately to the ropes. McCormick moves in for the kill, pulling Casey’s fingers off the ropes.  Casey slips but grabs on to the rope again.

Johnny Suave: Wait a minute! Casey’s foot may have touched the floor!

Colleen Crowder: I don’t think so. I think Casey grabbed the rope in-

The referee calls for the bell.

*DING-DING-DING*

Johnny Suave: THE AMERICAN PATRIOTS WIN!

Colleen Crowder: NO!  Bob Casey’s feet did NOT hit the floor.

Johnny Suave: That’s not what the referee is saying.  He’s saying it’s over.

Casey protests vehemently, but to no avail. The crowd’s chants drown out his objections.

Johnny Suave: And then there were two.  It’s down to Moreno and Brown. The young challenger versus the seasoned veteran.

Colleen shakes her head, a mix of disgust and fascination on her face.

Colleen Crowder: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… we’ll see if Brown has enough left in the tank to survive this.

The crowd’s roar intensifies as Moreno and Brown circle each other, the fate of the inter-faction match hanging in the balance.  Moreno ascends the turnbuckle, his eyes locked on Brown’s prone form.

Johnny Suave: Moreno’s going high-risk here, Colleen! This could be the turning point!

Moreno launches himself into the air, aiming for a crossbody, but Brown rolls away at the last second. The young challenger crashes into the turnbuckle with a sickening thud.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CARP!  Moreno just ate canvas! Brown’s veteran instincts on full display there.

Colleen Crowder: That’s why he’s won three previous Extreme Election Night matches, Johnny.

Brown pounces, covering Moreno for the pin. The referee’s hand slaps the mat once… twice… but Moreno kicks out with explosive force.

Johnny Suave: NO!  Moreno kicks out!

Moreno scrambles to his feet, his eyes wild with determination. He ducks under Brown’s clothesline attempt.

Johnny Suave: Moreno ducks under Brown and spins behind the older wrestler.

Johnny Suave: Tilt-a-whirl coming up!

In a blur of motion, Moreno executes a perfect tilt-a-whirl DDT, spiking Brown’s head into the mat. The crowd erupts, chanting “PCW! PCW! PCW!”

Johnny Suave: Brown started strong, but he’s fading fast against this young dynamo!

Colleen Crowder: That’s what I was afraid of, Johnny.

Moreno, feeling the energy of the crowd, repeats the move. Brown’s body goes limp as his head bounces off the canvas.

Johnny Suave: Another tilt-a-whirl DDT! Brown’s gotta be out cold!  Cover!

“One… two…

Johnny Suave: NO!  Somehow, someway, Brown gets a shoulder up before the three-count.

Moreno’s eyes widen in disbelief.

Johnny Suave: What will it take to keep the veteran down?

Colleen Crowder: Sherrod Brown’s been there before.  He knows how to handle himself in this type of match.

Moreno, his face a mask of determination, rips off his elbow pad. The crowd holds its collective breath as he climbs the turnbuckle once more.

Johnny Suave: Uh oh.  What is Moreno doing?

Colleen Crowder: COME ON SHERROD… MOVE!

Johnny Suave: Flying elbow incoming!

Moreno soars through the air, his elbow connecting squarely with Brown’s chest. The impact echoes through the arena.

Johnny Suave: THAT’S GOTTA BE IT!

But instead of going for the pin, Moreno locks in a sleeper hold.

Johnny Suave: SLEEPER!  SLEEPER!

Brown thrashes wildly, his face turning red as he struggles for air.

Colleen Crowder: Break the sleeper!  Come on Sherrod!

Johnny Suave: Moreno’s looking to make Brown tap or nap!

Brown’s movements grow weaker, his arms flailing uselessly.

Colleen Crowder: Sadly, I think he’s napping.

Finally, Brown’s hand taps the mat in submission.

**DING-DING-DING**

Johnny Suave: It’s over! Moreno has done the unthinkable! The young challenger has pinned the veteran Brown and the American Patriots win the match.

Kimber Marshall: Your winner… THE AMERICAN PATRIOTS!

Colleen Crowder: Ugh.

Johnny Suave: Big night on the Senate side for the American Patriots.

Cut to commercial…

***

Celebrities for Kamala Harris 2024 The video screen comes to life and a sea of Hollywood elites sways in unison, their perfectly primped faces frozen in exaggerated concern. The heavily botoxed faces of George Clooney, Barbra Streisand, and Whoopi Goldberg among others. The View hosts, Sunny Hustin and Joy Behar, also make an appearance, swaying back and forth to the music with enthusiasm as they belt out their sanctimonious chorus.

“You’d better watch out! ‘Cause now we’re really pissed! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win!”

They sway back and forth, clapping off-beat.

“We said watch out! ‘Cause now we’re really pissed! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win!”

The camera zooms in on John Mellencamp, his weathered face a mask of faux outrage as he croons…

“We’ve all come together… Come together for a good cause. The fact that it exists. Just really pisses us off!”

The whole group comes in for the chorus.

“You’d better watch out! ‘Cause now we’re really pissed! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win!”

They continue to sway back and forth, clapping off-beat as we see members of MSNBC and CNN join the group.

“We said watch out! ‘Cause now we’re really pissed! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win!”

The shot cuts to Beyoncé, resplendent in a gown that probably cost more than most people’s homes. She belts out her verse with theatrical intensity:

“We’re all famous artists We’re giving some of our important time!”

Her hand flails dramatically as she oversings the next part and nearly picks off a couple people behind her.

“And we come in our limos from our private suites and exclusive, ‘fenced-in neighborhoods where you little people wouldn’t have a sniff of chance to ever live in’ Just to be here tonight!”

The celebrities launch into another round of their self-righteous refrain.

“You’d better watch out! ‘Cause now we’re really pissed!”

They continue to sway back and forth, clapping off-beat.

“Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win!”

“We said watch out! ‘Cause now we’re really pissed! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win!”

The camera pans over to Bruce Springsteen, his weathered face etched with an earnest intensity that seemed almost comical given the context. He grips the microphone, leaning in as if imparting some profound wisdom:

“I sing my songs for the common man At two hundred dollars a show I never see them in the audience Because they can’t afford to go.”

The group continues to clap off the beat as the chorus comes around again.

“You’d better watch out! ‘Cause now we’re really pissed! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win!”

They continue to sway back and forth, clapping off-beat.

“We said watch out! ‘Cause now we’re really pissed! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win!”

The shot transitions smoothly to John Legend, his soulful voice soaring from the living room of his luxury home as he croons on the bridge of the song:

“I’m telling you all We’re all gonna die-eee. If don’t vote the way we want you to. That’ll be the reason why.”

The entire ensemble launches into another round of their sanctimonious chorus, this time joined by more Hollywood star power, the Progressive Alliance’s Berkeley, California Professor McCarthy and his flock (The Green World Order, Codee Pink, Emily S. List, “Mr. Hollywood” Kevin Daniels among others) … the Conservative Inc. folks, the American Patriots/Never Trumpers/country club set (Bill Kristol.  Charlie Sykes.  Jonah Goldberg. David French.  Tom Nichols.  David Reaboi.  Jennifer Rubin. Mitt Romney, Rick Wilson, George Conway, John Kasich. Dick Cheney, Lynne Cheney, and S.E. Cupp)… and of course, Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.

“You’d better watch out! ‘Cause now we’re really pissed!”

They continued to sway back and forth, clapping off-beat.

“Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win!”

“We said watch out! ‘Cause now we’re really pissed! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win!”

They continue to warble, swaying in unison like a well-coiffed, designer-clad cult.

“You’d better watch out! ‘Cause now we’re really pissed! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win!”

They continue to sway back and forth, clapping off-beat.

“We said watch out! ‘Cause now we’re really pissed! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win! Don’t vote for the presidential candidate who we do not want to win!”

Fade to black.

Back to the broadcast table…

Fema Update Johnny Suave: Okay.  We have an update on the FEMA commercial from earlier tonight.

FEMA Employee Fired

Johnny Suave: All right.  As everyone knows, after Joe Biden’s disastrous match with Donald Trump in June, the Progressive Alliance got together and replaced Biden with his aide de camp- Kamala Harris.

Colleen Crowder: Biden did the right thing to pass on the torch to Harris!

Johnny Suave: Trump and Harris met for the first time in September in their one and only matchup before tonight.  Let’s go back to Philadelphia for the match.

***

REPLAY: Donald Trump (American Patriots) vs. Kamala Harris (Progressive Alliance) with Special Referees David Muir and Kinsey Davis of ABC News- Taped September 10th in Philadelphia, PA The arena pulses with anticipation, the air thick with expectation as Kamala Harris’s theme erupts through the speakers. She strides confidently down the ramp, her eyes fixed on the ring that has become a battleground of ideology and ego. The audience reacts with a mix of cheers and jeers, but she is unfazed; every step is a statement, each stride exuding the poise of a seasoned political combatant.

Johnny Suave: “Kamala making her way to the ring, Colleen, and you can see she’s ready for this unprecedented matchup.”

Johnny Suave’s voice booms over the crowd’s clamor, his tone betraying no allegiance.

Colleen Crowder: “Absolutely, Johnny.”

Colleen’s bias was thinly veiled.

Colleen Crowder: “She’s been preparing for this moment, and I’m confident she’ll uphold the values of the Progressive Alliance.”

Before the echoes of Harris’s entrance fade, the familiar brassy strains of the Imperial March meld into a rhythmic chant that shakes the very foundations of the 2300 Arena. “TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!” The crowd’s fervor reaches a fever pitch as Donald Trump emerges, his supporters’ voices transforming the melody into an anthem of unwavering support: “TRUMP. TRUMP. TRUMP. TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP.”

Johnny Suave: “Listen to this crowd, Colleen! You can feel the electricity here tonight!”

Suave has to shout to be barely heard above the din.

Trump descends the ramp like a king surveying his domain, his expression one of unassailable confidence. He climbs into the ring, his presence alone commanding attention as he surveys the crowd, basking in the adulation of his base.

Johnny Suave: “Both competitors are now in the ring, and here come our special guest referees, ABC’s David Muir and Kinsey Davis.”

The two figures slip between the ropes, impartiality promised in their professional nods to each competitor.

Colleen Crowder: “Remember, Johnny, they’re here to ensure fairness.”

Muir and Davis lay out the ground rules, their voices firm despite the uproar surrounding them. They call for respect, for sportsmanship, the principles of the match echoing the grander theater of political discourse. With a final check, the bell rings, and the battle commences.

From the outset, Harris is tentative, gauging her opponent with careful moves, testing the waters of this high-stakes confrontation. Trump, however, is all aggression—a force of nature unleashed. Quick to seize the advantage, he corners Harris, his tactics as brash and unapologetic as his campaign rallies…

Johnny Suave: “Trump’s not holding back, taking the fight straight to Harris!”

The action unfolds with rapid intensity.

Johnny “Wait, what’s this?”

Suave’s tone shifts as steel-folding chairs find their way into Harris’s hands, the tools of political wrangling turned literal instruments of combat.

Colleen Crowder: “Johnny, I think Muir and Davis are offering some… ‘strategic advice’ to Harris.”

The referees’ subtle positioning and gestures seemingly favor one side of the ideological divide.

Johnny Suave: “Sure they are.”

Suave’s sarcastic tone encapsulates the charged atmosphere as Harris begins to rally, utilizing the openings provided by the attentive referees.

The crowd’s roar swells within the 2300 Arena as Kamala Harris, with a sly grin, delivers a verbal jab that seems to pierce through Donald Trump’s brash exterior. The former President circles her like a shark, his face flushed red, not from any physical blow, but from the sting of Harris’s cunning words.

Johnny Suave: “Trump’s looking rattled out there, Colleen!”

Colleen Crowder: “Johnny, Kamala Harris is doing very well tonight.”

Trump, now with a renewed fire, charges at Harris, but as he gains momentum, ABC’s David Muir and Kinsey Davis both step in, ostensibly to check on Harris, halting Trump’s advance.

The American Patriots’ section erupts in a chorus of boos, outraged by the audacious interference.

Johnny Suave: “Come on! That’s the third time they’ve done that ! It’s three against one in there!”

Colleen Crowder: “Johnny, they’re just doing their job and calling it right down the middle.”

Colleen’s tone was laced with condescension.

Johnny Suave: “Right down the middle my ass!”

Within the ring, Trump regains control. His movements are relentless, his attacks precise. Yet,  Muir and Davis insert themselves once again, this time more overtly than before, shielding Harris from Trump.

Johnny Suave: “Oh come on!  How can you say this isn’t three on one!”

Colleen Crowder: “Absolutely not, they’re ensuring a fair match.”

Before another word could be uttered, the arena’s atmosphere shifts and the crowd pops.

Johnny Suave: “What’s this?”

PCW owner Dawn McGill makes her entrance.

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  DAWN McGILL IS COMING TO THE RING!’

Dawn storms down the ramp with a fury that matches the intensity of the crowd’s excitement. She’s businesslike but her presence commands attention, much like in her Henhouse Magazine photo shoot.

Crowd: “PCW! PCW! PCW!”

Dawn slides into the ring with the grace of a seasoned pro, snatching the mic from Muir’s hand.

Dawn McGill: “What the *BLEEP* is this?”

Her gaze pierced through both referees.

Dawn McGill: “I’m calling for the bell!”

Johnny Suave: “WOW!”

Colleen Crowder: “Johnny this is outrageous!”

Johnny Suave: Dawn McGill has called for the bell and ended the match because of the poor refereeing.

Colleen protests vehemently.

Colleen Crowder: “She has no right to interfere in this match!  Muir and Davis were doing their jobs-”

Suave glances at Colleen, incredulous.

Johnny Suave: “Interfere? Are you kidding me?  Where have you been all match long? She’s restoring order where these so-called impartial referees failed!”

Colleen Crowder: “My fact check says you are one hundred percent wrong.”

Johnny Suave: ‘And you know where you can stick your…”

Johnny does the air quotes thing with his hands.

Johnny Suave: “…’fact-checking.’

Cut back to the broadcast desk after the replay ends.

Johnny Suave: So PCW owner Dawn McGill stepped after the blatant interference of David Muir and Kinsey Davis of ABC News.

Colleen Crowder: Johnny, Dawn had no right to go out there and stop this match.  Muir and Davis called it right down the middle… fair… impartial… and-

Johnny Suave: Your nose is growing out.

Colleen stops… sputters… and lets out a shriek.

Cut to commercial…

***

Donald Trump Video by Nicole Shanahan We see Donald Trump escorted by security through the backstage headed to the stage.

Donald Trump (voiceover): What will we do with this moment?

Cut to… a still of Donald Trump speaking being a lone microphone on a stage.

Donald Trump (v/o): How will we be remembered?

Cut to… Trump back stage raising and shaking his fist at the Republican National Convention.

Donald Trump (v/o): Look at the opportunities before us.

Cut to… a silhouetted woman gazing upon an ocean. The camera slowly pans, revealing Tulsi Gabbard’s face.

Tulsi Gabbard (v/o): This election really isn’t about the left versus the right. It’s about we the people choosing our government and the choice between freedom versus tyranny.

Cut to… a man in a white buttoned shirt fixing his blue tie.  He gazes out through a large glass window towards a large city in the background while a video is projected onto a wall of him as a young child.

Music with a choir singing is heard.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (v/o): No one has a chronic disease burden like we have.

The video now projects Bobby Kennedy giving a speech in 1968.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (v/o): Why are we allowing this to happen to our children?

Kennedy places both hands on the glass and continues to look out at the city below.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (v/o): Ultimately the only thing that will save our country…

Cut to a side view of RFK Jr. at the glass.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (v/o): …if is we choose to love our kids more than we hate each other.

Cut to… Nicole Shanahan. Arms crossed in front of a window with trees behind her.

Nicole Shanahan (v/o): What is going on here is deeper than politics.

Cut to… a shot of the sun obscured by the leaves in a tree… some of the rays shining through.

Nicole Shanahan (v/o): It is deeply spiritual.

Cut to… Shanahan on the street pointing at a car… then her walking down a sidewalk behind RFK Jr.

Nicole Shanahan (v/o): We are being called to rise about the hatred… and the fear… and the evil.

Cut to… J.D. Vance feeding his infant girl in a high chair.

J.D. Vance (v/o): We need to remember above and beyond…

Cut to J.D. holding his daughter who tries to feed him a cracker and misses.

J.D. Vance (v/o): …we must love our neighbors, that we must treat other people as we hope to be treated.

Cut to… Vivek Ramaswamy in a back area of an arena surrounded by people.

Vivek Ramaswamy (v/o): You want to be a rebel?

Cut to Vivek sitting in a chair doing an interview with two bright lights shining on him.

Vivek Ramaswamy (v/o): You want to be a hippie?

Cut to Vivek talking with people backstage after the interview then talking with a group of people.

Vivek Ramaswamy (v/o): You want to stick to the man? Show up on your college campus and call yourself a conservative.

Cut to… Elon Musk looking up as a rocket returns to the launch pad.

Elon Musk (v/o): America is going to reach heights that it’s never seen before

Cut to the rocket landing on the launch pad perfectly.

Elon Musk (v/o): The future is going to be awesome!

Cut to Musk speaking at a Trump rally and shouting out, flexing both arms.

Cut to various scenes: -people along a parade route. -J.D. Vance speaking to an interviewer. -African-Americans with ‘Blacks for Trump 2024’ t-shirts on and one man with a red ‘47’ hat on. -Donald Trump riding in the passenger seat of a garbage truck in Wisconsin.v

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (v/o): Don’t you want healthy children?

Cut to… Kid Rock in concert.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (v/o): Don’t you want a president who’ll make America healthy again?

Cut to… RFK Jr. speaking at a Trump rally with Trump standing next to him.

Cut to various scenes: -Tulsi Gabbard saluting at a gravesite -Tulsi meeting military personnel at a meet and greet and hugging a soldier. -Nicole Shanahan walking up the steps to a stage. -a close up of Nicole smiling.

Nicole Shanahan (v/o): I come to you today as a former Democrat.

Cut to… Shanahan speaking at a Tucker Carlson Live Tour in Glendale, Arizona.

Nicole Shanahan (v/o): I will be a first time Trump voter tonight.

Nicole votes with a pen on a mail in ballot for Trump on stage.  She holds up the ballot after she’s done.

Cut to various scenes with Kid Rock’s “American Rock and Roll” playing underneath: -a crowd at a Trump rally -Trump pumping his fist at a rally -Kid Rock singing “American Rock and Roll.” -Balloons falling at the RNC -Trump doing a little dance on stage. -Trump with Tucker Carlson -Trump on Joe Rogan’s show -Trump working at McDonald’s -Vivek fist-bumping a worker.

Donald Trump (v/o): The people dreamed this country. And it’s the people who are making America great again.

***

Cut back to Suave and Crowder at the broadcast table.

Johnny Suave: Colleen?

Colleen glares disgustedly at Suave.

Colleen Crowder: No comment.

Johnny Suave: All right.  After that… it was time for the two candidates to be the aide de camp, second in command, to battle it out.  Trump chose J.D. Vance of Ohio to be his aide de camp. Harris chose Tim Walz of Minnesota to be hers.  CBS’s Norah O’Donnell and Margaret Brennan were the special referees.  Would they do a better job than the ABC crew did?

Colleen Crowder: There was nothing wrong with how the ABC reporters refereed the Trump-Harris match.

Johnny Suave: Yeah right.  Here is the Walz-Vance match from last month.

***

REPLAY: Tim Walz (Progressive Alliance) vs. J.D. Vance (American Patriots) with Special Referees Norah O’Donnell and Margaret Brennan of ABC News- Taped October 1st at The Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City The Hammerstein Ballroom erupts in a cacophony of cheers and boos as the opening chords of “Hillbilly Elegy” blast through the speakers.

Johnny Suave: Here we go.  It’s time for our main event and J.D. Vance is coming out first.

J.D. Vance emerges from behind the curtain, his chiseled physique barely contained by his red, white, and blue tights. The American Patriots’ golden boy raises his fists triumphantly, basking in the adoration of his supporters.

Johnny Suave: And here comes the Appalachian Avenger! J.D. Vance, looking to make a statement for the American Patriots tonight and help Donald Trump!

Vance’s eyes narrow as he scans the crowd. As he strides confidently down the aisle, the music abruptly shifts to “The Internationale.” Tim Walz, the Progressive Alliance champion, slinks towards the ring, clutching a kendo stick like a lifeline. His eyes dart nervously from side to side.

Johnny Suave: And here comes Tim Walz.  He looks like he’s about to wet himself.

Both men enter the ring, tension crackling between them. Special referees Norah O’Donnell and Margaret Brennan of CBS News take their positions, their expressions a mix of determination and trepidation.

Johnny Suave: This is it. The last big match before Extreme Election Night 2024.  The last match between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris was a farce because of the blatant interference of ABC’s David Muir and Kinsey Davis.  Let’s hope tonight is different.

Colleen Crowder: Let’s hope not.  Muir and Davis were fair and so will O’Donnell and Brennan.

The bell rings, and chaos erupts. Walz swings wildly with the kendo stick, his face contorted in desperation. Vance ducks smoothly, years of political maneuvering translating seamlessly to the wrestling ring. He tackles Walz to the mat, unleashing a flurry of fists.

Johnny Suave: Vance is on fire. He’s dismantling Walz like he’s exposing government overreach!

Colleen Crowder: He’s being too aggressive.  Vance must have toxic masculinity issues.

Vance goes to roll up Walz but O’Donnell steps in, tapping Vance on the shoulder.

Norah O’Donnell: We need to move on.  We have a lot to get through tonight.

Vance’s head snaps up, his eyes blazing with indignation.

Johnny Suave What the hell? This isn’t a debate, it’s a political wrestling match!

Colleen Crowder: Well, we do have a lot to get through tonight, Johnny.

Without warning, Vance grabs Walz by what little gray hair he has and drags him to the corner. The Progressive Alliance champion’s eyes widen in fear as Vance lifts him with a mighty heave and rams Walz into the ring apron with a sickening thud.

Colleen Crowder: That’s not right!

Not content, Vance hurls his opponent into the steel barriers. The clang echoes through the Hammerstein Ballroom as Walz crumples to the floor.

Johnny Suave: Vance is surgically taking Walz apart! This is more one-sided than the J6 Congressional hearings!

Colleen Crowder: You take that back!  That’s not factually correct-

Johnny Suave: VANCE THROWS WALZ BACK INTO THE RING!

Breathing heavily, sweat glistening on his brow, Vance drops for the cover, a triumphant grin spreading across his face.

But this time, Brennan intervenes.

Margaret Brennan: We need to move on. We have a lot of ground to cover tonight.

Johnny Suave: What the hell is going on here? They’re doing the same crap Muir and Davis did.

Colleen Crowder: Again Johnny, I trust the legacy media to do what’s right.  We have much to cover tonight.

The crowd’s boos intensify as Walz, seizing the opportunity, lands a few desperate shots on the distracted Vance.

Johnny Suave: Cheap shot by Walz.

With lightning speed, Vance connects a thunderous superkick to Walz’s jaw.

Johnny Suave: Oh, hello!

The Progressive Alliance champion staggers, his eyes glazed.

Colleen Crowder: That’s illegal.

Johnny Suave: No it’s not.

Vance’s gaze falls on a steel chair at ringside. A wicked grin spreads across his face as he grabs it, the metal cold against his palms.

Johnny Suave: Vance has a chair.

Colleen Crowder: That is definitely not legal.

*WHACK*

Vance brings the chair crashing down on Walz’s back.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

The Progressive Alliance champion crumples to the mat, a pained groan escaping his lips.

Johnny Suave: And he’s going to do it again!

Colleen Crowder: STOP HIM MARGARET… NORAH!

As Vance winds up for another chair shot, Brennan steps between them.

Margaret Brennan: We need to move on.  There’s a lot of ground to cover.

O’Donnell takes the chair away from Vance who looks at her incredulously.

The crowd’s roar crescendos as Walz, somehow finding a reserve of strength, flails wildly at Vance. His punches are sloppy, desperate, but the sheer volume threatens to overwhelm the American Patriot.

Johnny Suave: Walz is throwing everything he’s got!

But Vance ducks under and lifts Walz, bringing him down on his knee.

Johnny Suave: ATOMIC DROP BY VANCE!

Vance goes to cover but… O’Donnell steps forward yet again, her voice tinged with exasperation.

Noral O’Donnell: We really need to move on-

The crowd erupts in a mixture of cheers and boos, the tension in the arena palpable.

Seizing the moment of distraction, Vance’s hand finds another steel chair and raises it once more.

Colleen Crowder: Where do these chairs keep coming from?

*WHACK*

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

With a resounding crack that echoes through the Hammerstein Ballroom, Vance brings the chair down on Walz’s skull. The Progressive Alliance champion crumples to the mat like a marionette with cut strings.

Vance drops for the cover, his chest heaving.

Johnny Suave: Vance for the win…

O’Donnell and Brennan stand motionless, refusing to make the count.

Johnny Suave: …but O’Donnell and Brennan aren’t making the three count.  What the f-

The crowd roars as a blur of blonde hair and determination storms down the ramp.

Johnny Suave: WAIT A MINUTE!  HERE COMES DAWN McGILL!

PCW owner Dawn McGill, her eyes blazing and her 6-foot frame radiating authority, slides into the ring.

Colleen Crowder: Why is she interfering in this match?

McGill glares at both O’Donnell and Brennan as she stands up.

Dawn McGill: Oh, for Christ’s sake.

Without hesitation, she drops to the mat, her hand slapping the canvas with each count.

Dawn McGill: One! Two! Three! Ring the damn bell!

*DING-DING-DING*

The resounding thud of Dawn McGill’s hand striking the canvas for the third time reverberates through the Hammerstein Ballroom. She springs to her feet, her blonde hair whipping around as she signals for the bell.

O’Donnell and Brennan stand frozen, their expressions a mix of shock and indignation. Dawn’s piercing glare silences any protest they might have mustered.

At ringside, Colleen Crowder’s carefully cultivated composure shatters.

Colleen Crowder: This is an outrage!

She shrieks, her perfectly coiffed hair coming undone as she gesticulates wildly.

Colleen Crowder: McGill is overstepping her bounds! This is a clear violation of journalistic integrity in wrestling!  We… the media decide who wins or loses… not-

Johnny Suave: Your winner tonight is J.D. Vance and the American Patriots strike a blow against the Progressive Alliance!

Vance stands tall in the ring, his chest heaving with exertion and triumph. Dawn raises his arm, her face a mask of determination.

The crowd’s reaction is a perfect storm of cheers and boos, a microcosm of the nation’s divided state. Some fans pump their fists in the air, while others hurl invectives at the ring.

Cut back to the broadcast desk…

Johnny Suave: Vance defeated Walz last month-

Colleen Crowder: Again, Dawn McGill had no right to step in and make the three count.  There was still much to do in the match before-

Johnny Suave: Yes, Colleen.  The legacy… establishment media really shone there, didn’t they?

***

Next Week’s Extreme Election Night 2024- Part Two Preview The screen flickers to life, a rapid-fire montage of bone-crushing slams and political podiums exploding into splinters. Suddenly, Johnny Suave’s voice booms through the speakers, dripping with unbridled enthusiasm.

Johnny Suave: Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves for the most extreme collision of politics and pro wrestling in history! Next week, we present part two of  PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2024, and I guarantee you’ll need a recount after this ballot-busting event!

Johnny’s voice rises to a fever pitch as images of Catherine Cline and Kathryn Randall Collins flash across the screen, their eyes locked in a fierce staredown.

Johnny Suave: In our opening bout, PCW Women’s Champion Catherine Cline puts her title on the line against ‘The Ultimate Political Operative’ Kathryn Randall Collins! Will Cline’s basketball-honed agility be enough to counter Collins’ Machiavellian machinations?

The scene shifts to Stone Chism and Starz N. Stripes, draped in red, white, and blue, facing off against Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete, who are surrounded by a sea of protest signs.

Johnny Suave: The American Patriots defend their Tag Team gold against the Green World Order! Can the vegan violence of Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete topple the star-spangled dominance of Chism and Stripes? And will Peta from PETA tip the scales in this environmental enigma?

Charlie Blackwell appears, holding the PCW Championship high, only to be interrupted by Kevin Daniels strutting down a red carpet.

Johnny Suave: Main Street USA meets Tinseltown as PCW Champion Charlie Blackwell defends against ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels! Will the Heartland Hero fall victim to Daniels’ blockbuster ambitions?

The screen erupts with images of Kamala Harris and Donald Trump, each flanked by their respective cornermen, Tim Walz and J.D. Vance.

Johnny Suave: And of course… we will have the Extreme House Match featuring American Patriots’ Jim Jordan of Ohio, Lauren Boebert of Colorado, Georgia’s Marjorie Taylor Greene, Chip Roy from Texas, and Thomas Massie from Kentucky going up against The Progressive Alliance’s Hakeem Jeffries of New York, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez of New York, Eric Swalwell of Texas, Jamie Raskin Maryland, and Ted Lieu of California.

Johnny’s voice reaches a crescendo as the montage intensifies, a whirlwind of political slogans and wrestling moves blending into chaos.

Johnny Suave: Extreme Election Night 2024! Where the only hanging chads are the ones left dangling from the rafters! Tune in next week or I’ll filibuster until you do… and we don’t want that!

***

Cut back to the broadcast table…

Johnny Suave: No we don’t.  Let’s go backstage for one more word with each candidate tonight before our main event.

Backstage Interviews with Harris and Trump The camera cuts backstage, where Woodward Bernstein stands with Donald Trump, the former PCW CEO’s hair impossibly coiffed and suit immaculate despite the chaos of the night.

Woodward Bernstein: Mr. Trump, your thoughts on tonight’s match against Kamala Harris?

Trump’s eyes gleam with characteristic bravado.

Donald Trump: Woodward, let me tell you, it’s going to be beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. We’ve got a dream team – RFK Jr., the brilliant Nicole Shanahan, and the unstoppable Tulsi Gabbard. It’s like the Avengers, but better looking and with higher ratings.

He pauses, savoring the moment.

Donald Trump: Tonight, we’re not just making PCW great again. We’re making America great again! And let me tell you, Harris doesn’t stand a chance. She’ll crumble faster than her poll numbers!

The scene abruptly shifts to another backstage area, where Mindy Taylor stands with a visibly nervous Kamala Harris.

Mindy Taylor: Vice President Harris, your response to Trump’s comments?

Harris forces a smile, her mind racing.

Kamala Harris: Well, Mindy, let me be clear. What we’re seeing here is a fundamental threat to our democracy, our values, and the very fabric of PCW itself. Trump represents a fascist ideology that seeks to undermine everything we hold dear. And let me tell you, as someone who has been in the ring of politics and now professional wrestling, I understand the stakes. This could be the last PCW show if he wins, because – and this is important – we must consider the intersectionality of wrestling entertainment and democratic institutions in the context of a post-truth era where…

As Harris continues her meandering response, the camera slowly pans away, leaving viewers to ponder the impending clash of titans in the PCW ring.

Johnny Suave: Ladies and gentlemen… it’s time… the moment we’ve all been waiting for has arrived.  Let’s go to the ring.

MAIN EVENT-PCW CEO MATCH: Donald Trump w/J.D. Vance (American Patriots) vs. Kamala Harris w/Tim Walz (Progressive Alliance) Suddenly, the familiar brassy strains of the Imperial March fill the air, melding into a thunderous chant that shakes the very foundations of the arena.

TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!

The crowd’s fervor reaches a fever pitch as Donald Trump emerges, bathed in a sea of red light. Kid Rock’s “American Rock and Roll” blasts through the speakers, and Trump raises his arms triumphantly, soaking in the adulation.

Suave’s voice rises above the din.

Johnny Suave: There he is! The man who promises to make PCW great again!

Crowder interjects, her tone skeptical.

Colleen Crowder: Or plunge it into chaos, depending on your perspective.

Trump struts down the ramp, his signature red tie flapping as he gestures to the crowd. J.D. Vance appears at his side, pumping his fist in solidarity.

As they near the ring, the music fades, replaced by Beyoncé’s “Freedom.” The crowd’s reaction splits, boos and cheers mingling in a cacophony of political division.

Oprah Winfrey steps out on stage… her voice booms through the arena.

Oprah Winfrey: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome… KAMALA HAR-RIS!

Harris emerges with Tim Walz, her stride purposeful, her eyes locked on the ring where Trump awaits. As she rolls under the bottom rope, their gazes meet, the air between them crackling with tension.

Johnny Suave: This is it, folks. The future of PCW – and perhaps America itself – will be decided tonight in this very ring.

Crowder nods gravely.

Colleen Crowder: Two ideologies, two visions for the future, about to collide in spectacular fashion. Let’s just hope the right vision prevails tonight.

As Harris and Trump circle each other, the crowd’s chants grow louder, a nation divided echoed in the voice of the PCW faithful.

Johnny Suave: Your referee will be Davey Keels.   Hang on tight… we are in for a wild ride tonight.  Trump versus Harris.  The winner becomes the new CEO of PCW.

The bell rings, echoing through the arena as Trump and Harris lock up in the center of the ring. The crowd’s roar is deafening, a cacophony of cheers and boos battling for dominance.

Harris strikes first, her leg whipping out in a low kick that catches Trump off guard. She follows up with a swift enziguri, her foot connecting with Trump’s temple. The former president stumbles, and Harris pounces for the cover.

“One!” Davey Keels’ hand slaps the mat, but Trump kicks out with force.

Johnny Suave: Harris coming out hot! But Trump’s not going down that easy!

Trump, shaking off the cobwebs, grabs Harris and attempts to fling her into the ropes. But Harris, ever the politician, reverses the momentum. Trump, caught off-guard, grabs the ropes to steady himself.

Colleen Crowder: Slick move by Harris! She’s not letting Trump dictate the pace!  She can do this.

Trump, his face a mask of determination, trips Harris as she rebounds off the ropes. She hits the mat hard, and Trump capitalizes with a brutal basement uppercut.

Johnny Suave: Oh! Trump with that patented ‘low blow’ we’ve seen so often in his political career! .

The crowd is on its feet as Trump follows up with a sliding lariat, his arm clotheslining Harris with devastating impact. He goes for the cover, and Keels’ hand comes down again.

“One! Two!” But Harris kicks out at the last second.

Trump, frustration evident on his face, grabs Harris and bodily throws her through the ropes. The fans closest to the action scatter as Harris crashes to the floor.

Johnny Suave: Trump taking this fight outside the ring!

Colleen Crowder: Just like he takes everything outside the norms of politics!

As Trump follows Harris to the outside, she scrambles for a weapon. Her hand finds a steel chair, and she swings with all her might.

CLANG!

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

The sound reverberates through the arena as the chair connects with Trump’s head. He goes down hard, and Harris seizes control.

Johnny Suave: Harris is dismantling Trump!

For the next five minutes, Harris dominates, utilizing the chair and every dirty trick in the book. She goes for multiple covers, but Trump’s resilience shines through.

Colleen Crowder: Trump kicks out at one!

Crowder sounds almost disappointed.

Colleen Crowder: You’ve got to wonder where he’s getting this strength from!  Come on Kamala!

Harris, growing desperate, attempts to pillmanize Trump’s knee with the chair. But in a move that shocks everyone, Trump no-sells the attack, popping up as if nothing happened.

Johnny Suave: Unbelievable! Trump just shrugged off what should have been a devastating move! Is he even human?

As they make their way back to the ring, Harris tries to climb in first. But Trump, seizing the opportunity, grabs her and slams her hard to the floor.

Johnny Suave: Oh! Trump gives her a taste of her own medicine!”

Crowder winces.

Colleen Crowder: This match is far from over, Johnny.  At least, that’s the narrative we’re reporting.

The ring creaks under the weight of the combatants as Trump and Harris circle each other, a wooden table now situated ominously in the corner. Walz and Vance, like opposing cornermen in a boxing match, toss chairs into the ring, the metallic clang echoing through the arena.

Johnny Suave: Ladies and gentlemen, this is turning into a hardware store! We’ve got tables, we’ve got chairs – what’s next, a kitchen sink?

Trump lunges forward, grabbing Harris in a headlock. She counters, twisting out and shoving him towards the ropes. As Trump rebounds, Harris ducks, aiming for a backdrop. But Trump leapfrogs over her, landing with surprising agility for a man his age.

Johnny Suave: Did you see that, Colleen? Trump’s moving like a man half his age!

Colleen Crowder: Whatever John-

Colleen Crowder’s reply is cut short as a commotion erupts at ringside. Neal Conn…

Johnny Suave: Here comes Neal Conn… making foreign policy as paramount responsibility of government, seeing the need for the U.S. acting as the world’s sole superpower as indispensable to establishing and maintaining global order.  I’m supposed to say that whenever I say his name.

…and Hallie Burton…

Johnny Suave: Hallie Burton- protector of the military-industrial complex… yes… I’m supposed to say that too.

Conn and Burton along with a group of well-dressed individuals storm the ring, led by a figure that looks like Darth Vader crossed with Dick Cheney.

Johnny Suave: I wondered when they’d be making their appearance.  It’s the Never Trumper group Conservative, Inc. and is that… Darth Dick Cheney?

The group swarms the ring.  But then…

Johnny Suave: IT’S THE AMERICAN HEARTLAND COALITION!

‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay, PCW Champion Charlie Blackwell, ‘The Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, and the ‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen hop the rail and tackle Conn and Burton.

Johnny Suave: The AHC are taking care of Conservative Inc.  but the Never Trumpers are at ringside now!

Bill Kristol and Charlie Sykes pulling Trump’s legs out from under him. Jonah Goldberg and David French follow up with chair shots to Trump’s back.

Harris retreats to a corner, a smirk playing on her lips as she watches the chaos unfold.

Johnny Suave: This is a travesty! Where’s the referee? Where’s security?

As if in answer, the crowd pops when a new group charges down the ramp. Elon Musk leads the charge, followed closely by Vivek Ramaswamy and Bobby Kennedy Jr.

Johnny Suave: The anti-establishment squad is here!

Musk slides into the ring, immediately tackling David Brooks. Ramaswamy goes after Mitt Romney, while RFK Jr. grapples with George Conway.

The ring becomes a sea of flailing limbs and flying chairs. Tulsi Gabbard grabs the Washington Post’s so-called ‘conservative’ columnist Jennifer Rubin by the hair, tossing her over the top rope.

Johnny Suave: Jen Rubin… who called for newspaper writers to quit the LA Times and USA Today because they wouldn’t endorse Kamala Harris… but didn’t offer to quit the Washington Post… gets thrown out of the ring.

Trump, finally free from the pile-on, stumbles to his feet. He locks eyes with Darth Dick Cheney, who’s advancing menacingly.

Johnny Suave: Here we go. Time to drain the swamp.

Trump grabs a nearby chair.

Colleen Crowder: I’m a little conflicted on this.  Yes, Cheney throwing his support to Harris is good.  But Dick Cheney?  Ehhh…

As Cheney reaches for him, Trump swings the chair with all his might, connecting with a resounding clang that seems to shake the very foundations of the arena.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP! Down goes Cheney!

Nicole Shanahan tosses Liz Cheney through the ropes.

Johnny Suave: And there goes Liz.  Wait… there’s a commotion.  Now what?

The arena erupts as a new wave of chaos descends upon the ring. A swarm of suits and microphones floods down the ramp.

Johnny Suave: The legacy media has arrived! ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, NPR, CNN, MSNBC – they’re all here!

Colleen Crowder leans forward, her eyes gleaming.

Colleen Crowder: Finally, some real journalists to set the record straight!

The legacy media crew circles the ring like sharks, but J.D. Vance is ready. He clotheslines an MSNBC anchor over the top rope, then hip-tosses a CNN correspondent out of the ring.

Colleen becomes alarmed.

Colleen Crowder: What is he doing?

Johnny Suave: Vance is cleaning house!” Suave shouts. “These media folks are about as welcome as fact-checkers at a campaign rally!”

Vivek Ramaswamy joins the fray, suplexing a CBS reporter onto a conveniently placed table.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Suddenly, the crowd erupts and Suave’s voice reaching a fever pitch.

Johnny Suave: IT’S JOE ROGAN!”

The podcast king sprints down the ramp, leaping into the ring with the agility of a UFC fighter. Rogan immediately locks eyes with a terrified ABC anchor.

Rogan growls, before launching into a spinning back kick that sends the anchor flying through the ropes.

As Rogan, Vance, and Ramaswamy clear the ring of the last media stragglers, the crowd chants: “JOE! JOE! JOE!”

But the night is far from over. The familiar strains of “Hail to the Chief” fill the arena, and two figures appear at the top of the ramp.

Colleen Crowder: YES!  It’s Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama!

Crowder can barely containing her excitement.

Colleen Crowder: Maybe they can get Harris across the line.

As they make their way down, Tulsi Gabbard locks eyes with Hillary. Without warning, she sprints across the ring and dives through the ropes, tackling Clinton to the ground.

Johnny Suave: CAT-FIGHT… CAT-FIIIIIIGHT!

The two women roll around on the entrance ramp.

Colleen Crowder: WHAT IS SHE DOING?

Johnny Suave: Hillary Clinton once accused Tulsi an agent of Russia back in 2019 after Gabbard tore apart Kamala Harris in a debate.  She didn’t forget.

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!

Suddenly, Don Cheadle, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Evans, Robert Downey, Jr, Scarlett Johansson, and Paul Bettany… stars of the Avengers movie franchise in the Marvel Universe appear on stage.

Colleen Crowder: YES! Big Hollywood’s big stars are here tonight on Kamala Harris’s behalf and-

Johnny Suave:  WAIT!

The arena erupts in chaos as a group of bearded men in suspenders and wide-brimmed hats storm the stage.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP.

Suave’s voice cracks with disbelief.

Johnny Suave: It’s a group of angry Amish men from Pennsylvania!

Colleen Crowder: WH- WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

Johnny Suave: They’re mad because of a January federal raid on a local raw milk farm in Bird in Hand, Pa.  The Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture stormed Amos Miller’s farm Jan. 4 after reports of illnesses in children linked to raw dairy products purchased there.

As straw hats and designer sunglasses fly, Trump seizes the moment. He grabs Harris, whipping her into the ropes.

Johnny Suave: Hotshot Stunner!

Trump catches Harris on the rebound, driving her head into his shoulder.

Colleen Crowder: NOOOO!

Trump’s not done. He hoists Harris up in a fireman’s carry, circling the ring as the crowd roars as Trump brings Harris crashing down.

Johnny Suave: Side Slam by Trump and he’s in control of this match.

Davey Keels slides into position, his hand slapping the mat. “One! Two!” But Harris kicks out at the last second.

Trump climbs the turnbuckle, his tie flapping in the wind. The fans are on their feet, cell phones raised to capture the moment. Suddenly, a blur of movement catches Trump’s eye.

Colleen Crowder: It’s Joy Reid!

The MSNBC host runs in and grabs Harris, pulling her to safety.

Trump’s face contorts with frustration.

Johnny Suave: You can run, but you can’t hide from the red wave!

Colleen Crowder: Stop saying that!

Trump leaps from the turnbuckle and pursues Harris around the ring.

As Trump chases Harris back inside, Suave leans into his mic.

Johnny Suave: Folks, I’ve seen a lot in my days at PCW, but this… this is unprecedented!

Colleen Crowder: I think I’m going to be sick.

The arena plunges into darkness.

Johnny Suave: Uh oh.

A sinister cackle echoes through the speakers as lightning flashes across the jumbotron.

Johnny Suave: It’s the Supreme Dark Overlord of PCW, Joe Biden!

A hooded figure emerges from billowing smoke, dressed like the political version of Star Wars’ Emperor Palpatine.  His eyes glowing an eerie blue behind a pair of dark sunglasses beneath the cowl. As he raises his gnarled hands and removes the sunglasses, electricity crackles from his eyes.

A bolt of political force energy shoots from Biden’s eyes. Trump ducks, the electricity sizzling past his ear and hitting a hot dog vendor in the aisle behind him incinerating him instantly.

J.D. Vance scrambles, grabbing a nearby mirror and tossing it to Trump. Trump catches the mirror just as another bolt flies towards him. He angles the glass, deflecting the energy. It ricochets, striking Kamala Harris. Her pants ignite in blue flames.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Colleen Crowder: My God! Her pants are on fire!

Johnny Suave: Hmmm… I seem to remember a certain phrase that ends with ‘pants on fire.’

Colleen Crowder: That’s not funny!

Harris shrieks, desperately patting at the flames. Tim Walz rushes to her aid.

Biden’s eyes unleash a second bolt of political force energy.  Again, Vance deflects this one into the path of Tim Walz who stumbles into its path. His own trousers burst into flames.

Colleen Crowder: JOE!  STOP!

Johnny Suave: It’s pandemonium in the ring! We’ve got flaming politicians everywhere!

Trump seizes his chance. As Harris flails, trying to extinguish herself, he lunges forward. In one fluid motion, he wraps his arms around her waist and rolls her up from behind.

Referee Davey Keels drops to the mat. “One!”

The crowd roars.

“Two!”

Trump grits his teeth, using all his strength to keep Harris pinned.

“Three!”

The bell rings. Trump releases his hold, staggering to his feet as the realization hits him.

Johnny Suave: HE’S DONE IT!

On the stage, Biden’s lips curl into a satisfied smirk. His work here is finished. He turns, disappearing into the shadows as quickly as he arrived.

Kimber Marshall makes it official.

Kimber Marshall: Your winner and new CEO of PCW… DONALD TRUMP!

The arena erupts. Vance, Musk, Ramaswamy, RFK Jr., Gabbard, and Shanahan flood the ring, lifting Trump onto their shoulders in triumph.

Colleen Crowder: I can’t believe it!

Crowder gasps, her professional facade cracking.

Colleen Crowder: Harris was on fire… literally!

Johnny Suave: And she lost.

Colleen Crowder: And she lost.

Johnny Suave: Colleen, looks like Trump just fired Harris from the top job!

Colleen Crowder: Johnny-

Johnny Suave: Only in America can a former McDonald’s fry cook and garbage assistant rise up to become the CEO of PCW.

Colleen slowly turns her head towards Suave.

Colleen Crowder: Okay… stop rubbing it in.

Suave turns to his co-commentator, his voice thick with emotion.

Johnny Suave: We’ve witnessed history tonight. Donald Trump has become the first person in the PCW era to do what Grover Cleveland once did a hundred years ago- win two non-consecutive terms.  Love him or hate him, Donald Trump is once again at the helm of PCW.

Colleen Crowder: Oh God… no.

As the celebration rages, a commotion erupts at the entrance ramp. New York Governor Kathy Hochul storms out, her face as red as the seats of the American Patriot section as she shrieks into a microphone.

Kathy Hochul: Anyone who supports Donald Trump and this… this travesty is anti-American!

Suddenly, two costumed figures burst from the crowd.

Johnny Suave: Wait!  Is that… Peanut the Squirrel and Fred the Raccoon?

The anthropomorphic duo charges Hochul, executing a perfect double clothesline that sends her sprawling.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Colleen sighs.

Colleen Crowder: And now Kathy Hochul get taken out by two dead pets!

The crowd’s cheers turn to boos as Jennifer Rubin of the Washington Post rushes the stage, shoving Peanut and Fred to the floor.

Jennifer Rubin: MAGA squirrel deserved to die!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Jennifer Rubin: The media, it must be said, did not fulfill its role in educating the public and advancing truth as their primary objective. Refusal to explore Trump’s manifest defects and place him and his movement in the context of fascist strongmen and their cults had the effect of normalizing and legitimizing a candidate utterly unfit for office. But the facts nevertheless were there for anyone who cared to look. At some point, voters are responsible for their own decisions.

The crowd’s roar intensifies as Dawn McGill’s entrance music hits. The statuesque blonde strides down the ramp, her piercing blue eyes locked on Jennifer Rubin in the ring. Dawn’s tight black dress hugs her curves, leaving little to the imagination.

Dawn sneers at Rubin and snatches a microphone.

Dawn McGill: Well, well, if it isn’t the Washington Post’s resident hack. Jen Rubin, the queen of bad takes herself.

Rubin bristles, her face reddening.

Jennifer Rubin: How dare you! I’m a respected journalist-

Dawn McGill: You’re a joke.

Dawn cuts her off, climbing into the ring. She towers over Rubin, using every inch of her six-foot frame to intimidate.

Dawn McGill: A smug, stuck-up elitist who wouldn’t know real America if it bit you on your Beltway bubble ass.

The crowd erupts in cheers. Dawn basks in their energy, feeling the electricity coursing through the arena.

Jennifer Rubin: Listen here, you silicone-enhanced bimbo.

Rubin jabs a finger at Dawn’s chest.

Jennifer Rubin: I’ve forgotten more about politics than you’ll ever know!

Dawn’s eyes narrow dangerously. In one fluid motion, she grabs Rubin’s wrist and twists, eliciting a yelp of pain.

Dawn McGill: First of all, these are 100% real, honey. Second, you can take your elitist attitude and go *BLEEP* yourself with it.

The censored expletive echoes through the arena, drawing shocked gasps and raucous cheers in equal measure. Dawn releases Rubin’s wrist, shoving her back against the ropes.

Dawn McGill: You need to get out of your ivory tower and see what’s really going on in this country instead of sipping your lattes and writing hit pieces.  Rubin, red-faced and sputtering, stumbles backwards out of the ring. She trips on the bottom rope, nearly face-planting on the floor before catching herself. As she scurries up the ramp, Dawn’s laughter follows her.

Then… of course… Keith Olbermann appears, red-faced and spittle-flecked.

Keith Olbermann: Russian collusion!

Johnny Suave: Oh… no.

Keith Olbermann: It’s all Russian collusion!

Aimee Allen’s Ron Paul Anthem begins to play and the crowd pops.

Wake up! Wake up! Good morning America! Rise and Shine.

Johnny Suave: WAIT A MINUTE!  NO WAY!

Rise and Shine!

A group appears and two drummers lead the procession. Some hold up a sign with a black and white drawing on the side of Ron Paul’s face with ‘Ron Paul-Revolution’ on the bottom.

Ron Paul! Save our constitutional rights Ron Paul! We’re not gonna give up the fight

Johnny Suave: HE’S BACK!

Keith Olbermann: What the- ARRRRRGHHHH!

Olbermann gets pushed off the stage and lands on the floor.

Ron Paul! Start a revolution and break down illegal institutions

Finally Ron Paul himself appears.

Johnny Suave: RON PAUL AND HIS NEW LIBERTARIAN ARMY ARE BACK IN PCW!

Colleen sighs.

Colleen Crowder: Why not?

The parade starts down the ring towards Trump, Musk, and the others.

PCW!… PCW!… PCW!…

Johnny Suave: All right!  That’s going to do it for part one of PCW Extreme Election Night 2024!  Next week, it’s part two of Extreme Election Night 2024 with the aftermath and reaction to tonight’s show and the PCW Women’s Title, PCW Tag Team Title, the Extreme House Match, and then the PCW Title matches.  Colleen… any further comments?

Colleen Crowder: Nope.  Everything’s just peachy.

Johnny Suave: We will see you next week with part two of PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2024!

The chorus of Amy Grant’s “Turn This World Around” plays as the show ends.

“Maybe one day We can turn and face our fears Maybe one day We can reach out through the tears After all it’s really not that far To where hope can be found Maybe one day We can turn this world around...”

[silverior968]

I'm feeling like yapping because I slept very poorly last night, so: Here's the story of that human Ratchet cosplay and why I'm lowkey convinced it's cursed

Start planning cosplay months in advance for a school event

See the perfect belt for it while in Rhodes with my family. It's the only one left, and I later find that the type of belt is referred to as a ratchet belt. This is a sign.

Need to locate white heavy-duty trousers and a white padded parka jacket

Finding them at thrift stores takes a little longer than expected, no biggie. End up with a white parka that I removed 2 pockets from and someone's old slalom trousers

Both articles of clothing end up being synthetic fabric, which means they need a specific kind of fabric paint

Crafts store is specifically out of red synthetic fabric paint, unsure when they'll get the next shipment

In the meantime I buy my wig. I have no previous experience styling wigs

I end up having to cut large parts of the wig away, and hairspray doesn't stick as well to synthetic hair as I hoped

Attempt to stick the bangs (the wig had bangs) back with a hairdryer

This would have been a great idea if it wasn't for the fact that this was my mom's old hairdryer from the early 2000s or earlier that doesn't have the heat listed anywhere

Turns out this thing lets out air hot enough to literally burn the bangs off. Oops

Color in the ginger streaks with an alcohol marker: a surprisingly effective method

Attempt to find crepe hair for the facial hair, end up having to order it from Denmark because the only finnish store that sells that stuff only sells it in 10cm pieces

Attempt to follow a tutorial I found online for reusable crepe hair facial hair. The hair doesn't stick to the tull, result looks like a merkin. End up deciding to just glue the hair straight to my face

Shoes: I have old winter boots that were worn through the bottom to the point that they can't be used as proper winter shoes anymore. They're black in color which would actually have fit into the design nicely

But the human design I made had white and red boots with steel toes. Attempt to recreate that.

The fabric is very hard (kuoma boots) so my first attempt is spray paint. Believe it or not, spray paint doesn't take well to fabric

Start applying acrylic paint to shoes. The paint job takes several layers but actually turns out really beautiful

Make prop blade with two cardboard pieces glued together and a shit-tonne of duct tape on top. Thing ends up weighing about 2 kilos by my estimate

Paint job is decent for a first time prop-maker

Back to the clothes: I locate red synthetic fabric paint at an online store. At this point the even is less than a month away

Buy two large bottles

Wait for them to arrive

Package says "primary red"

The paint is pink

Like the most hot neon magenta pink color you've ever seen. Nothing like the photos. I say out loud "he slays but not that much"

Send one bottle back, order big bottle of orange and small bottle of brown to hopefully mix the perfect red

By the time it arrives time is running out

In the meantime I have embroidered a small Autobots logo on the breast of the jacket. This went without a hitch and was completed in one 5 hour sitting

2 days left. Finally get to paint the jacket. Think to myself "Why don't more cosplayers use fabric paint?"

The answer is because fabric paint is of the devil

Start painting the clothes in my parents' shower room. I've placed trashbags on the floor to protect it.

One thing about fabric paint is that it dries very slow. So slow in fact, that moving the jacket around caused stains on the plastic bags, which then stained parts of the jacket that were meant to stay white. Jacket that was supposed to be 40% white ends up with just the front breast remaining white

You'd think that the slow drying would make it easy to get wet paint stains out. You'd be incorrect.

Spend OVER 7 HOURS in one sitting painting the jacket and pants

Cry. but get the job done. Leave the clothes to dry at my parents house.

Return next day. Paint that was evenly colored the previous evening has dried splotchy

Well, nothing I can do about that. If nothing else it makes the jacket look suitably weathered, and some of the darker stains look like dried blood

Iron the clothes thoroughly, take them home to sew on the reflective strips.

By now it is the night before the event. I need to wake up at 6.30

Get home at around 7-8 pm. Immediately start cutting out the pieces

Hand sewing is a lot harder than I remembered, especially when sewing onto a premade garment. I have to sew blind at a few points because I can't see very far down the pant leg

These were also garments with linings and padding. This is very bad for sewing shit onto something that you can't take apart

My hands start getting shaky, I'm sleepier than I can ever remember being. Have to push through. I keep pricking my fingers

At some point I scribble down a poem: "In the lamplight I see the needle's halo / Set against the reflective fabric / Like all things holy it requires a sacrifice / I prick my fingers once more"

At 3.30 am I stop looking at the clock. I have to downsize the amount of reflective strips I'm going to sew on. Only the most important ones remain. My stitches are sloppy

I've accidentally ended up method-acting the character: I am suddenly struck by the thought "I spent so much effort and time on this, but no-one else will see that. They'll only see the terrible result"

Shove that aside. I've been waiting for this day since I was 7. I will not let my perfectionism ruin it for me. I will have fun or I will cry and have fun

Finally get to sleep

Wake up to my alarm, somehow feeling totally refreshed

Eat breakfast, start applying make-up. I have not had any time to practice the make-up or putting on crepe hair

It, surprisingly, goes without a hitch

I put on my outfit and surprisingly, it looks great if you don't look at the messy stitches!

Head to school. It's february and very slippery outside, so I put on my normal winter shoes for the way. I have to leave the prop sword at home (school doesn't want even pretend weapons on site, I get that) I take my rainbow flag with me instead

Get to school. Try to switch on my cosplay shoes, find out that the paint cracks and leaves a tiny mark on the floor. I quickly switch back to my normal shoes

Get my bag of candy, participate in school events, get ready to get on top of a lorry truck

It's -20C (-4F) outside. Mom makes me swear I'll put on extra layers under my outfit before I head outside.

Go to bathroom, put on an extra layer of wool clothing between my pre-existing 3 layers of clothing. Knitted socks on top of my normal socks in my shoes, mittens on my hands on top of my gloves, hat between my wig cap and wig.

45-60 minute lorry ride goes well, by the end of it my face and feet are frozen. My face is as red as my outfit

Afterwards one other student recognizes my character. Nearly jump out of excitement. The student's friend gives me a candy

Go to meet my friend at a cafe, but while removing the hat I notice something peculiar

My wig cap is gone. Like fully gone. Not in the hat, not in my clothes. It's gone.

Spend some wonderful time with my friend at the cafe, but after a few hours I start nodding off. Friend recommends I go home.

So, that was the first time I wore the cosplay. Some of it was pure bad luck, but most parts were a result of me biting off way more than I could chew. I don't know how i pulled it off. The second time, however:

Enroll in a small local cosplay contest.

Start fixing the cosplay so it's presentable. I end up having to take off all the reflective strips to re-sew them better. In the process I find that one of the leg strips' stitches have snapped and that I accidentally sewed two parts of the lining on the back together

No idea how that didn't rip

New stitches end up really nice, sew them on over several days in 2-3 hour sittings

Wig is kind of a mess, try to spike it with glue.

Practice the make-up several times

Contest day comes: make-up takes way longer than the first time. Almost run out of time with the crepe hair. The eyebrows don't end up great, but the make-up is the best it's ever been

Start walking towards the bus stop, it takes me some time to orient myself to where the stop is, but I realize it's closer than I thought. I'm a fast walker, I'll have time to stop by the store

Go in, buy two chocolate bars. I already had one soda (BRIGHT green in color). I have not eaten breakfast.

Forget my fucking credit card number. Already stressed. I have enough coins to pay, thankfully

Apologize to the cashier, say "Nothing has been going according to plan today" she laughs, which is nice. I imagine a 50yo looking man with the fashion sense of a Pokemon gym leader and the voice of an afab teenager ( a particularly bright and high-pitched voice at that) is not something you see every day.

Remember my credit card number the fucking second I step out of the store

Cashier said she hoped my card didn't get locked. Get a juice from a different store. Card thankfully works. Drink the juice while waiting for the bus.

The bus I'm waiting for isn't on the timetable, but it shows up online. Oh shit.

Double check that the stop name is correct, start panicking.

Oh wait! The name is correct, the number isn't. There's another bus stop 20 meters away. Thank goodness.

My friend from the cafe was supposed to come with me, but fell ill. It's my second con, and I'm alone. Determined to make the best of it regardless.

Realize that I've once again method-acted. I am suitably pissed about the obstacles I dealt with

It's august, I'm wearing winter clothes. You see the problem.

Get to the contest, have more free-time than I expected. Don't really have anything to do except wait. Run into a friend later that day, catch up

Go to the store to buy a soda that isn't room-temperature. Eat one of the chocolate bars, too nervous to eat anything else.

Go to meet the judges, it goes pretty okay. I didn't say nearly as much as I should have, though, but that's neither here nor there

Wait for the contest. Walk on stage and make the most of it. Even if I don't place, this is my moment to shine

Don't place in the contest, and neither does mine and my friend's entry for the photoshoot contest. Hey, that means we can enroll it in different contests!

Hang around a little bit longer: All I really wanted was for someone to recognise my costume. Give up after a while, start heading to bus stop

Younger kid (11-13?) runs up to me, asks if they can take a picture with me. I say "of course!" I'm happy as a clam because someone recognized my cosplay or at least liked it enough to want a picture.

Find bus stop. Random person asks me what series I'm cosplaying from, in case they recognize the character. I say Transformers Prime. I, for some reason, don't say which character I'm cosplaying. They don't seem to recognize me

Different person shows up, asks if I'm wearing a Transformers jacket. I tell them I'm wearing a whole transformers cosplay. I, once again, don't say which character I'm cosplaying. Also tell the person I competed in the contest. They ask me where I got my wig, I say I styled it myself, show before and after pics. They seem impressed

We lament the lack of a transformers fandom presence in finnish cons together

They get on a different bus

Had made plans to meet up a friend in the city, but they can't make it after all

I go to the city centre. My sister is having her birthday party at the apartment where I live, so I'll go to my parents. Want to get some food first. Stop by the local game store on the way just to check if they have transformers stuff, not this time

Go to the counter with some candy. Cashier asks me if I'm coming from the con. I say yes. They pull up their sleeve to show that they have a huge autobots logo tattoo. I'm awestruck, compliment the tattoo, they compliment my cosplay

I once again forget to specify my character

Want taco bell fries, it's now over 6pm and I have eaten a total of: small juice box, one chocolate bar, and about 0.6 liters of soda.

Find out taco bell doesn't offer "just fries". Decide to just go home in hopes my parents will have something I can eat

Hop on the bus. The trip takes a little less than an hour. 7pm.

Get home. Parents immediately want me to change and shower. I say I can't take my makeup off yet because I don't have my spirit gum remover with me. They insist.

I try to peel my facial hair off as gently as I can. I lose 20% of my eyebrows, the one part of my face that I like the most. I feel like Snorkmaiden when her beautiful golden hair got singed by lightning

My parents say you can barely tell. You can definitely tell.

Dad takes me to get pizza

Finally eat an actual meal.

Thankfully notice that most of my eyebrow hairs that look "gone" are actually snapped near the bottom, not completely pulled out

Finally get pictures of the cosplay taken by my dad. Find out my wig looked fucking atrocious from the back

Thankfully it was a cheap wig, so replacing it and re-styling it won't be too expensive, this wig can be my stunt-wig now

Notice that the paint has started coming off the sword

This I was very sad about, I really like that prop blade. I will try to find a way to save it.

Like the second time just feels like pure bad luck through and through. I have plans to enter at least one more contest with this cosplay after I've updated the wig, so we'll see how that goes

[trustedpackersandmoversblog]

Make your next move exciting with great moving supplies!

First, congratulations on your new home! Finally, the day comes knocking at your door and you have to plan everything before the arrival of the packers and movers. Does this situation sound familiar? Also, do you have all the pre-move responsibilities and last minute tasks at this stage? Well, then you must be stressed and almost withered by the last day of moving. But hey, the main story and the battle is ahead! So you need to pull up your socks, put on your shoes and go with the flow!

This blog post covers all that and more. Useful tips on packing and moving, some expert ideas and lots of information - all you can read here. So without wasting a single minute, check out the home moving tips mentioned below!

• Sit down and decide on a moving date

What time are you moving? Is the date over? Have service providers and professional movers been notified? Do you travel on weekends? or weekdays? Since this affects the moving budget, make sure you time the move at the convenience of all your working family members who have a set schedule and routine.

• Prepare all relevant documents

If you are moving or traveling abroad, you should have a mobile folder with you. Before moving, you must prepare all important documents, including ID, driver's license, insurance, contract papers, housing papers, vehicle papers, employment documents, birth certificate, marriage certificate, centralized valid documents that may be required for the move. You can keep copies of these on your phone as they are handy and can be shown to authorities at checkpoints.

• Buy high-quality packaging materials

Depending on the product choice, you need to organize and invest in high-quality packaging that covers the entire product. You have to have the basics. For example, wrapping paper, film, brown paper, durable packing tape, cardboard boxes, insulated moving boxes, bubble wrap, tissue paper, moving covers, permanent markers, etc. Make sure they are good quality and that you order in bulk because you need too many.

• Unpacking and organizing your appliances

Preparation of all electronic appliances like air conditioner, microwave oven, inverter, TV and laptop etc. must be disconnected early and packed after a while. In particular, the refrigerator must be unplugged, defrosted and cleaned before packing. So do it. If you wish, you can order cleaning experts to take care of your air conditioner, microwave oven and refrigerator so that they are in good order in your new home!

• An emergency kit should be packed

Whether you call it a survival kit or an essential kit, you should get yourself a small essentials bag that contains all the basic items that you use regularly and can't live without. From moisturizer, body lotion, perfume, comb, tissue paper, paper plates, glasses and cups, towel, hand sanitizer, shampoo, conditioner and other electronic items such as power bank, telephone, cables and wires, etc. should be packed in this kit.

• Reach out to the right movers

How can you imagine moving without the help of a professional? It's not possible! So don't delay and book some other reliable moving company for moving experts at Agarwal Packers and Moversor and sort out a realistic moving plan. You can choose the contract that meets your moving concerns and meets your proposed budget after checking all the details of the contract and the details of the moving company.

• Ask them to come in for a survey

In general, all major moving companies recommend that you come in for an internal inspection of the goods before giving a close estimate. If your company offers this to you, great, and if not, you can ask them to get a close moving estimate. We also conduct virtual surveys that are conducted online to evaluate the product.

• Packing and storing valuables

It would be nice to let moving professionals organize your belongings and valuables, but we recommend doing some of the packing yourself. This way you can save a lot of money because you don't pay the movers for the entire packing task, but only for the part that they ordered themselves. Also, if you handle valuables yourself, you will be more careful in packing them carefully and with proper protection.

• Do not pack unnecessary house stuff

By packing we do not mean, packing the entire household items. Never! You should first, de-clutter your space and get rid of the excess items. Things that are not in use, that are old, worn-out, damaged, and simply won’t be functional in your new home should either be disposed of or donated. Only those articles that are in pretty decent condition, have not been used much could be considered for sale.

• Provide refreshments and tip movers

Your entire move would be executed by the professional packers and movers. So, there is not much to worry about because professionals are well aware of the ways and know how to provide you with a seamless moving experience that ensures the safety and security of your belongings. Therefore, when your items get delivered to your new home, make sure you entertain the moving experts humbly and when the re-arrangement of your belongings in your place is complete, offer them refreshments or snacks from your food kit/essentials basket because you will not have time for more arrangements. Thank and tip them for their services and conduct.

All set for your next move? We’re sure you will be, by now with these amazing relocation hacks. Quick and simple to comprehend, this checklist would let you enjoy a happy, organized, and seamless moving experience.

[suprpack00]

How Padded Mailer Bags Safeguard Your Shipment?

In the dynamic world of e-commerce, protective packaging stands out as a central element ensuring your items’ safe and secure delivery to customers globally. As the online marketplace continues to burgeon, the significance of reliable shipping options becomes evident. Among all the packaging options available, Padded Mailer Bags have gained a lot of prominence.

Importance of Protective Packaging in eCommerce

Benefits of using Padded Mailer Bags

The inner padding of the Mailer bags works like a shield against the impacts, cushioning all the items from bumps, drops, and vibrations during transportation.

The outer material exhibits function-constant properties. It ensures protection against tears, pressure, and abrasion. It improves the overall durability of the package. If the package is delivered in the rainy season, you can use Water-Activated Tape to seal the package so that it remains unharmed due to the rain.

Compared to typical packaging like boxes, padded Mailer bags are lightweight, reducing shipping expenses while maintaining enough protection for items.

The padded Mailer bags are available in biodegradable or recycled options, contributing to Environmental Conservation by reducing waste.

Why Choose Supr Pack Padded Mailer Bags?

Supr Pack offers eco-friendly, custom-padded mailers in small batches. The brand-free design allows customization with your logo while ensuring optimum quality. The padded mailers are available in white and brown colors and can hold around 5 kg. The best part about the mailers is that they are home-certified and commercially compostable, and they currently boast a dual adhesive strip for use. The water-resistant mailers undergo a strict in-house check so that you can expect only the best. The shelf life of the padded mailers is around 12 months, and it is recommended to buy at least a month’s supply.

Wrap up

In the ever-evolving world of eCommerce, the importance of protective packaging cannot be ignored. The padded Mailer bags stand out as a cost-effective and eco-friendly shipping solution. It offers the perfect blend of protection and convenience.

[packagingsuppliersperth]

Purchase from Renowned Stationery Wholesalers in Australia Offering Extensive Range of Items

To begin with, well known stationery wholesalers in Australia offer wide range of high quality products within affordable prices. This list includes mapping, paper clips, highlighters, copy papers, calculators, folders, files, rubber bands, post it notes, clipboards and other items. Reliable suppliers also provide white board equipments and accessories so one could find all the necessary stationery items at one place within their purchasing power.

Advantages of Top Notch & Durable Packaging Supplies:

The rise of eco friendly packaging supplies is reshaping the way of protecting the products while delivering with utmost safety and supporting sustainability. Several companies offer diverse range of packaging supplies that are environmentally friendly so they could recycle or reprocess it for longer utilisation. Reputed companies offer varying products that include enviropoles, honey comb padded mailers, gummed brown tape, paper bags and other items.

Generally, businesses to support environment prefer white and heavy duty cartons for packaging so they could promote sustainability better. Additionally, reliable companies also sell cocoon wrap, paper dispensers, bio fill, paper void fill dispensers, eco bubble void fill and many more. Utilising eco friendly packaging will also attract customers and they will prefer purchasing products that will have positive impact.

Well known companies provide advance technology packaging machines that will save unnecessary wastage and resources. Basically, trusted suppliers offer same day delivery for packaging supplies so one could simply bulk order for their small or large scale businesses.

Perks of Buying Premium Quality Packaging Supplies:

Established companies offer diverse range of segments that include office supplies, dispatch, protective equipments, cafeteria, bathroom supplies, and other items.

They also assist with rental and purchase of packaging machine equipments suitable according to one’s business necessities.

The code of conduct provides clearance sale and special discounts so one could bulk purchase as required within their budget criteria.

If anyone wants to buy packaging supplies, they should get in touch with best company or visit their online portal!

Source

[hooksbrand]

Shop BJJ belts online

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) is a martial art that uses grappling techniques to control and submit opponents. The progression in BJJ is marked by a belt system that signifies a practitioner's level of skill and experience. Here is the standard belt progression in BJJ, from white belt (beginner) to black belt (expert):

1. White Belt: This is the starting point for all practitioners. White belts are beginners who are just beginning to learn the basics of BJJ techniques and principles.

2. Blue Belt: After a period of training and demonstrating a basic understanding of BJJ fundamentals, practitioners are awarded the blue belt. Blue belts are considered to have a solid foundation and are capable of defending themselves and applying basic techniques.

3. Purple Belt: Purple belts are intermediate-level practitioners who have a deeper understanding of BJJ concepts and techniques. They have usually developed a personal style and are competent in both defense and offense.

4. Brown Belt: Brown belts are advanced practitioners who have a high level of skill and knowledge. They are expected to be able to adapt and innovate techniques based on the situation. Brown belts are often instructors and contribute to the development of the BJJ community.

5. Black Belt: The black belt represents a high level of mastery in BJJ. Black belts are considered experts and are often instructors, mentors, and leaders within the BJJ community.

After black belt, there are additional degrees (also called degrees or stripes) that are awarded to further recognize a practitioner's continuous development and contributions to the art. These degrees are typically indicated by tape added to the black belt. The first degree is represented by a single stripe, and subsequent degrees are indicated by additional stripes.

It's important to note that the journey from white belt to black belt is highly individual and can take many years of dedicated practice, consistent training, and personal growth. Additionally, each BJJ academy or association may have slightly different criteria and timelines for belt promotions, so there can be some variation in the process. If you are looking to buy BJJ belts, visit Hooks Jiujitsu now. We handcrafted belts for your BJJ journey. Get premium quality BJJ belts for all your BJJ need at our store. Order now!

[bestwigoutlets]

Picking the Ideal Human Hair Lace Front Wigs

Human hair lace front wigs come in a variety of styles to match your preferences. In that case, it is guaranteed you will find the wig that you desire. Do you want a curly wig or a straight wig? How about a pixie cut? Furthermore, there are a variety of colored wigs that you can explore.

Shopping for Human Hair Lace Front Wigs With a variety of options available, it could be challenging to know where to start when you buy a new set of wigs. So, how do you pick the perfect wig? To ensure you get a perfect match and optimal satisfaction, here are some things to consider:

Determine Your Preferred Hair Type and Texture Lace front wigs made of human hair come in various options, like straight, wavy, curly, or kinky. Pick a texture that aligns with your natural hair or try a new look that complements your face shape and personal style. The goal is to find a wig that makes you feel confident and comfortable.

Pick the Right Wig Cap Size Proper wig cap size is crucial for a secure and comfortable fit. To find the size, measure your head circumference accurately. Use a soft measuring tape to get the accurate size. Wig cap sizes range from small to large. You must purchase the appropriate size to ensure that the wig sits snugly without feeling too tight or too loose on your head.

Consider the Lace Color From the term itself, this type of wig features a lace material at the front that creates a natural-looking hairline. The color of the lace must match your skin tone to achieve a seamless blend. Common lace colors include light brown, transparent, medium brown, and dark brown. Choose a lace color that closely matches your complexion for an undetectable and realistic appearance.

Determine the Wig Length and Style Keep in mind that this type of wig comes in various lengths. It ranges from short to long. When determining the right length and style, consider your lifestyle, preferences, and the versatility you desire. If you want to experiment with different hairstyles, choose a longer wig that can be easily styled. Shorter wigs offer convenience and can be effortlessly worn daily.

Evaluate Hair Density It refers to the thickness or fullness of the wig. Pick a density that suits your natural hair or that can help you achieve the desired volume. Options range from light to medium and heavy density. Before you pick the hair density, consider your personal style and the level of thickness you feel most comfortable with.

Quality of the Wig Ensure that it is made of high-quality, 100% human hair. Compared to synthetic wigs, human hair wigs can provide you with the most natural appearance and allow for styling versatility. To guarantee you are getting high-quality wigs, shop at a reputable online wig store, like the Best Wig Outlet. Head over to our shop today to browse our human hair lace front wigs. You can choose other wig construction, like monofilament, traditional and capless, and a lot more.

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

11:01 pmpt 1 may 2023 Monday

Aaooooooooooooooooooooouw 😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵😖😭

I think 💭 incubus edited something about the pee. I tried to write ✍️ that what the nurse 👩‍⚕️ put in my ivy probably made my pee brown again. 11:06 pmpt and I felt like it was punishment for complaining about not being able to see a gynecologist while I was there. 11:07 pmpt

11:31 pmpt

he planted things for me to find and then he beats me up 🆙 tears 😭 me down (cramps 11:32 pmpt) for seeing it or if I share it. He keeps screwing with my head telling me with signs 🪧 that he was the one I had phone ☎️ s*x with. In public he puts out he only flirted with me but in private he gave me a dark hair with orange high light 💡 taped to cookie 🍪 container with word baton on it. I did not know my older sister (anus pain 11:35 pmpt) was sister until I was 13 years old. He tried to (acid throat pain 11:36 pmpt) make me believe Liza is my daughter. And gio. 11:37 pmpt he’s so cruel he is killing me I hate him. He is lying 🤥! Hates me! His lies have no boundaries. He almost (right hip pain 11:38 pmpt) burned me to death ☠️ and he is eating my brain 🧠 with acid! I don’t believe anymore! It was already hard to believe b4 that! 11:39 pmpt he’s trying to cover up 🆙 his sh*t he did to gggggggggggggggg 11:40 pmpt he started deleting my stuff again. “Brendan” said his birthday 🎂 is June 16. (Gemini ♊️. ) 11:41 pmpt he made me find something online alluded to his birthday 🎂 being June! 11:42 pmpt

11:56 pmpt they deleted it

1:56 pmpt I guess a lot of people (left ear 👂 pain 😖😭 left side face burn 🔥 pain like hot acid 1:58) knew but didn’t care. Incubus can do whatever he wants. Line of cocaine in hotel 🏨 lobby. 1:59 pmpt incubus can rape and have phone ☎️ s*x with whoever he wants, mess with their minds, torture and kill them. All the hospitals 🏥 and police 👮‍♀️ are his miñions to get rid of his past flings and Victims. 2:01 pmpt

puctures won’t load again. 2:30 🕝 pmpt

my whole life until last year, I didn’t (acid throat pain 2:31 pmpt) I didn’t realize we had been given the run around? when it came to buying airplane ✈️ tickets 🎫 to the Philippines 🇵🇭. It’s weird that it would take more than a day to fly there? Am I assuming too much again? Maybe I should search 🔦 this some more. Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions again. About why things are the way they are. 2:34 pmpt

2:44 pmpt there are some things people should not lie about. Otherwise people might question 🙋🏻‍♀️ everything. Like marriage and children 👶, being someone’s husband, and telling me that you were the guy I had (acid under tongue 👅 pain 2:46 pmpt) Bcz now I’m thinking 💭 incubus is like that guy in the Elizabeth Taylor movie 🎥 with the shoe 👞 factory 🏭? Was it? ) a fling with online and that it was an extension of something that was going on in person but he wouldn’t let me remember. 2:48 pmpt why would he do this to me? Put me in this position? A cruel joke to make me look like a fool but also hard in me. 2:49 pmpt a sly way to get rid of someone you made to be a potential child rape victim, then made to feel like trash 🗑 flip flopping me a lot to fake me out so it doesn’t look apparent their motives and plans, etc 2:51 pmpt my tongue 👅 feels weird. I think im missing too much tongue 👅😰😭☹️ 2:52 pmpt

6:19 pmpt 6:38