#but..... my machine guy........ holds him close like that picture of jesus holding the baby lamb

[meownotgood]

ok I'm awake and a little more sentient. there is a whole lot of stuff I really really like about the episodes but I think my main disappointment right now is just that. viktor became the machine herald because of his own conviction. he forced himself to become stronger, specifically attempted to remove his own emotions because he felt they made him weak. but now this viktor just gets thrust into this situation, like the hexcore is just manipulating him to do whatever the fuck, he didn't even get to choose what he wanted because jayce chose it for him

[builtbykittie]

Patience, baby

j.m.k x f!reader

Summary: You get Josh worked up at a bar and make him wait till you get home.

Warnings: 18+, alcohol consumption, SUBBY JOSH, sexual pictures, SMUT, masturbating, edging (m rec), oral(m rec), unprotected sex, that's basically it

Words: 5,062

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"Good job baby," you whisper into Josh's ear, chills covering his body. "Thanks," he smiles, every tooth on display for you and the others who are losing to him to see.

"Oh come on! This is just luck!" Sam groans "he's never this good." Josh rolls his eyes at the statement "Maybe you're just bad at pool, Sammy boy."

"Don't get cocky, Joshua," Jake chides, holding his pool stick in the air. "You might lose your luck."

"It's not luck! You fuckers are just mad I'm winning!"

"Josh, are you forgetting you and Danny are winning? Don't take all the credit," you butt in, slinging your arm around Danny. "You're not even playing," Josh points, throwing back his drink.

"Poor Daniel doesn't deserve this treatment," you pat Danny's back before moving over to Josh, bringing your face close to his. You watch his chest rise and fall as you bring your lips close to his ear, just ghosting over the shell of it. "You're acting rather bratty, Josh."

He turns his head, your faces just mere inches apart. You scan over every inch of his face, his brows just barely furrowed and his cheeks turning a light shade of crimson. "What the fuck is this? Get a room, weirdos!" Sam fakes a gag, throwing the wrapper of a straw in the small space between you and Josh.

You simply look at Sam, sticking out your tongue at him before looking back at Josh. As you pull back, you ghost your lips over his jaw till they reach his ear "You're so cute when you're flustered."

Walking back to the booth, you watch Josh's expression grow sour, his cheeks even brighter than before. You and Josh had been hooking up for about three months now and the others were pretty quick to pick up on it, you'd originally denied every accusation but eventually, you both stopped caring.

"If you're gonna fuck my brother, fine. Just don't do it in front of us," Sam pokes, nearly shouting. "Jesus Sam, why don't you just get up there and announce to to the whole bar?" Josh gestures to the microphones placed neatly by a karaoke machine.

"You know what? Maybe I will, Josh. Thanks for the idea," Sam snickers, throwing another piece of trash in Josh's direction. "And I'm the bratty one?" Josh points to Sam, his brows knitted together in annoyance.

"He's just living up to the youngest child title," Danny quips, driving an elbow into Sam's side. "Yeah, and who's the oldest here, Josh?" You giggle, throwing back your own drink.

"What with the hate train today? I mean, seriously?" Josh throws his arms up, looking around in disbelief. "There's no hate train, Joshy. You're just dramatic," you tease, blowing a kiss his way and placing your hand over your heart in faux hurt as he pretends to dodge it.

"Is this not weird for you guys? Is it not strange to see them like that?" Sam points between you and Josh, obviously not used to seeing the two of you as anything other than best friends. "Aww Sam, you feel left out? You'll have your turn at some point, don't worry pretty boy," you jest, leaning forward and showing off an appropriate amount of cleavage.

As you look away from Sam, your eyes meet Josh's, the look painted across his face is something you can't describe as anything other than jealousy. You send him a wink in his direction, gesturing for him to come over to you.

His legs slowly carry him towards you, a serious look playing on his face. "Oh, Josh.. you're still all flustered," you smirk, reaching up to grab his hands as he stands in front of you. You kiss each of his fingers, tracing the veins with your thumbs before pulling him down to whisper in his ear "And I know you're all hard underneath those tight little pants of yours."

You hear his breath hitch in his throat, letting go of his hands to run your palms up his thighs. "Oh poor Josh. What do I do with you?" You coo, the very tips of your fingers ghosting over his growing bulge. He doesn't respond, the only sound coming from his mouth being a low hum.

"Mama.." Josh whines, standing up straight. "Whaat? You wanna go home?" Your hands reach his abdomen, smoothing out the fabric of his white shirt and fixing the length of his coat. You watch as his brows knit together even further, nodding gently.

"That's too bad, isn't it?" You mock the expression on Josh's face, dragging your fingers along the waist of his khakis. "Y/N, I know you wanna leave too."

"Hm mm. We can't leave, not yet," you lift his shirt slightly, ghosting your fingers over old hickeys you've previously left on his abdomen. "We'd need to call an Uber. And we haven't even eaten."

"Bathroom?" Josh moves hair away from your face, the tent in his pants growing larger by the second. "Nope. It's too dirty," you stand up "I'm sorry, love. I just enjoy seeing you so needy like this."

You kiss his warm cheek, dragging your hand along his torso as you walk away to meet with the others. "Hey, what time were we planning on leaving?" You run your hand up Sam's back, him being the designated driver for tonight.

"Oh uh, we were actually gonna eat then head out," Sam announces "if that's okay with you." You look back to Josh, sitting at the booth and hungrily watching you as he tries to adjust himself in his pants. "You know what, that's actually perfect!"

You ruffle Sam's hair before spinning on your heels, a devious grin pulling on your lips. "Hear that, Josh?" You approach him "You don't have to wait much longer."

He tries to hide the excitement on his face, but the way his eyes lit up and pupils dilated betrayed him. You place one hand on the back of the booth and the other on the table, leaning into him "We're leaving after we eat." You bring your face down to his neck, pressing an open mouth kiss to his jaw "Then your poor cock can get the attention it needs."

You move your hand from the booth to his thigh, the one on the table coming up to cup his face as you press your lips against his. Josh practically lunges forward, deepening the kiss and groaning into your mouth once your hand inches higher and higher up his thigh, squeezing the skin.

He tries to pull you closer, but you pull back completely, your fingers just barely ghosting over his impossibly hard cock "Joshua we're in public." Fortunately, everyone was too caught up in their own conversations to notice. "We're lucky your brothers didn't see. I can just hear Sam's fucking voice yelling at us in my head. 'get a room, weirdos!'," you imitate Sam's voice with a giggle.

Josh doesn't laugh or loosen up, still bright red and flustered. "You're real fun, you know that?" You lightly shove him before grabbing his arms and forcing him up. "Look who decided to join us!" Jake holds his glass up, playfully slapping his brother's arm.

"He's just mad our sweet Y/N here won't let him get lucky," Sam pokes, a shit-eating grin playing on his face. "Oh shut up Sam," you throw your arm up, a pink blush taking over the color of both yours and Josh's cheeks. "Are you guys gonna order food or what?" Josh waves around his arm dramatically.

"Already did," Danny smiles "We got everyone what they normally get. Calm down, diva." A smirk grows on your face and you turn to Josh, sending a soft jab into his side with your elbow. Finally, you get a small grin out of him "There's my favorite smile! I missed it." You come down to lay a peck against his dimple.

"Okay so.. we're riding with Sam? Aaand Danny's riding with Jakey?" You look at each of the boys before turning your attention to Sam. "Who's we?" Sam quirks a brow, and then not even a second after a look of realization washes over his face. "Oh no. No no no. I will not be driving while you two practically fuck in my backseat because you can't wait seven fucking minutes."

"Oh come on, Sam. You really are jealous huh?" You quip, ruffling his hair. "How about this. I'll sit in the front with you and Josh can sit in the back?" Sam's expression softens at your suggestion, but of course, he still puts on a fight "You guys have two different houses don't you? I don't see why I have to drive both of you."

"We're both going to my place. His car's there," you smugly smile, innocently tucking your hands behind your back like a little girl. "Fine." Your grin widens and you get a sinister idea "I gotta go to the bathroom I'll be right back."

You practically skip to the women's restroom and retrieve your phone from your pocket. Slipping into a stall, you open your camera app before pulling the top of your shirt down past your breasts. You'd put on your baby blue, see-through lingerie you knew Josh liked tonight, and you were going to make him suffer for as long as possible.

Fluffing up your hair, you take your bottom lip between your teeth and take a few pictures before adjusting your clothes and walking out to fix your appearance.

"There she is. We got the food," Josh smiles, calmer than before but the embarrassingly large tent in his pants proves he's no less aroused. "Good. I have a surprise for you later," you smirk, laying a hasty peck on his lips and walking to the booth.

Everyone takes their time eating, you and Josh, on the other hand, finish your food in an instant. You try not to show any sign of disparity, but the way you find yourself a little more excited to get home than you should quickly humble you.

"Jesus. What did you two do to be so hungry?" Danny chuckles through his words, looking between yours and Josh's trash. "I have an idea," Jake smirks, a smug look playing on his features as he drives an elbow into his twin's side.

"Oh shit," Sam interrupts Josh and Jake's bickering, looking down at his phone with furrowed brows. "Hey, I gotta leave like right now. I gotta wake up pretty early and I didn't even realize the time."

Your cheeks flush with a deep red tint, instantly turning your head to look at Josh and trying to hide the smile growing on your lips. "Well, I guess we're going too," you stand up, pulling the strap of your purse over your shoulder with a smile.

"Bye, guys. Love you," you and Josh take turns giving Danny and Jake a hug before following suit after Sam.

"Can I at least get aux?" You catch up to Sam, taking his arm in your hands and shaking it. "Nope."

Sam opens the door for you before rounding the car to the driver's side "Your place?" You hum and nod your head, reaching over to turn up the jazz Sam had put on.

About a minute into the drive, you pull your phone from your purse and turn your brightness fully down, your cheeks burning up as you press on Josh's contact. Your hands tremble with anticipation, shaky hands opening your camera roll and sorting out the best picture to send him.

Finally, you decide on your favorite and start to type a message.

You: [1 attachment]

You: surprise ;)

In the rearview, you watch his phone illuminate his face with the notification, then his eyes widening as he opens the message.

Josh is typing...

You're met with nothing. You look back up to the rear view, his dark hungry eyes already fixated on you. Your eyes scan Josh's body as Sam yaps about something to do with the song playing.

"We're here," Sam wraps his arm around the back of the passenger seat. Your head shoots up to look out the window, being met with the familiar setting of your home "Thanks for the ride, Sammy. Love you!"

"Y/N what the fuck was that?" Josh practically stomps up to you. "I told you I had a surprise," you try not to giggle as you fish your keys from your purse, taking your sweet time to get the door open. Josh's hands find your waist, pressing his hard cock into your ass and burying his head into your hair "You're only making me suffer, mama, seriously."

"Oh, believe me, I pity you, love," you walk through the door and turn to face him "your poor cock. You were just so fucking hard back there." His hands sneak up to your waist, slamming the door behind him and pulling you into him. "But it's just so addicting to watch you all flustered and worked up."

"Fuck you're so hot," Josh tucks a loc of hair behind your ear as you let your bag drop to the floor. "Yeah? Did you like that picture I took for you?" You bring your hands up to his chest "You know I don't do that often."

Josh buries his face into your neck and hums against the soft skin. "Fuck you could be a movie star with a body like that," he speaks through wet kisses to your neck. "And in my favorite lingerie," his hands find their way to your ass, softly kneading the supple skin through your jeans.

As your lips hungrily find his, one of the hands on his chest sneaks down to rest on his impossibly hard bulge, a whine falling past his lips at the lightest touch. "C'mon, sit down baby," you pull back and grab his wrist, moving him to the couch and pushing him to sit down.

You drop to your knees in front of him, smoothing your hands over his legs "You need it so bad, don't you? How bad do you need it love?" A deep hum rumbles up from his chest and his legs involuntarily twitch. "So bad, mama. I need you so bad. Your fucking body. Need to feel you."

"Sweet boy," you smile and kiss his clothed knee. Slowly, your hands come up to toy with the button of his pants, Josh's head falling back slightly and his eyes squeezing shut in anticipation.

You've decided you let him wait long enough, wasting no time to unbutton and unzip his pants before slowly pulling them off his ankles. Taking your time, you press kisses to each knee, then draw a line of kisses up his thigh till you meet the hem of his boxers.

The sight is pitiful, his cock straining painfully against his boxers as he waits as patiently as he possibly can for you to touch him. "Pull them down. I wanna watch you do it," you speak lowly, looking up at him through your lashes.

In an instant, his trembling hands find the waistband of his boxers and hastily pull them down. The sight of his desperate cock springing free and softly slapping against his abdomen drives you mad, your heat undeniably soaked.

"Fuck," you mutter "touch yourself. Be gentle. slow." Your hungry eyes stay fixated on his cock, watching intently as he collects precum with his thumb and starts to stroke his length at a painfully slow pace. Resisting the incredible urge to touch yourself, you lift your hands to cup his hot face, gently stroking his cheek with your thumb.

"That's it, love. Just like that. I'm sorry you have to wait so long. You can touch me soon, just be patient, baby," your thumb continues to rub his burning cheek while your eyes stay focused on his cock.

"Okay. My turn," you move your hands from his face, dragging them down his torso till they finally reach where he needs your touch the most. Almost immediately, your hand grasps the base of his cock before you lean down to spit on his pretty pink tip.

You spread your saliva around his length with your palm, a low groan bubbling up from his chest followed by a breathy moan. You set a slightly faster pace, purely out of sympathy for the poor boy.

The faster you go, the more noises Josh struggles to contain, each one enabling you and flowing through your ears like music. Unable to wait any longer, you curl your lips around his angry tip, lapping your tongue over his slit.

"Fuck mama keep doing that, don't stop," Josh whines, throwing his head back and grasping at your couch cushion, his hips involuntarily bucking up into your mouth. You start to slightly bob your head up & down, your tongue still taunting his cock.

You can tell he's near the edge, and you're not gonna let him cum just yet. You let go of him completely, a squeaky whine falling from his mouth at the loss of contact. "You can't cum. Not yet. C'mon, Let's go to my room."

Silently, Josh gets up and follows suit behind you, letting you lead the way to your bedroom. Slamming the door behind him, Josh instantly finds your lips, taking you into a lustful kiss as his hard cock presses against your thigh. You swallow thickly against Josh's mouth, the feeling of his cock against you making you wanna give in.

"Fuck Josh, you're making this really hard for me, y'know that?" Your hand comes up to tangle itself in the curls of the back of his head. "Is that a bad thing?" He hums against your skin, pulling you closer to him and pressing painfully against your inner thigh.

Finally, you manage to find the strength to pull back from his intoxicating lips "Get on the bed." Josh does just as you say, climbing onto your bed and resting back against the bedpost, his cock sitting up nice and pretty for you. Soon after him, you climb up on the front of your bed, crawling up to him and straddling his thighs.

You make sure to put on a show of taking your clothes off, a grin growing on Josh's lips as you slowly take off your top. He helps you with your jeans, throwing them to the floor and leaving you in just your bra and panties. "You're so gorgeous.." his hands rest on your waist, admiring how you look in the baby blue lingerie.

Your cheeks tint pink and you try to hide the smile playing on your features, you're always unable to stay serious around Josh. Wordlessly, you come down to meet his throbbing cock, wasting no time taking him into your mouth. "Shit," Josh whines, throwing his head back and squeezing your waist before letting go to grasp onto the bedding.

Josh is typically a giving lover, so times like this when you got to be in his spot, always got you excited.

Your hands come up to grasp his thighs, squeezing the flesh as you take him almost fully into your mouth. Trying your best to ignore the intense throb between your legs, you focus on what elicits the loudest whines or whimpers from him. You focus on getting him off as fast as possible.

His hips involuntarily buck up into your mouth, despite his desperate attempts to keep control. Fortunately, you knew his body well enough to know the things that drive him crazy. "Oh god, Y/N," the pads of Josh's fingertips bury into your scalp, trying as hard as he can to resist the urge to grab your head and push your mouth down along his length.

You let go of one of his thighs to toy with the base of his cock and you hear his breath hitch in the back of his throat. Your eyes flick up to his, if there's one thing you know for sure, it's that Josh loves eye contact. You keep your eyes on him, a smile growing on your face as you continue to stroke his length with your hand and bob your head up & down.

It doesn't take long before he's twitching in your mouth, loud strings of whimpers flying from his mouth each second. Once again, you pull yourself away from him completely. "Mama please," Josh breathes out, a thin layer of sweat causing his face to glisten in the dim room.

"Patience, baby."

You shift to be hovering over him, cupping his flushed red face and coming down to kiss his plush red lips. Josh wraps his arms around your waist, dragging his hands along the curve of your back and then up to bury into your hair, deepening the kiss.

A low groan bubbles up from deep within his chest as you start to grind against him, your barely clothed ass rubbing against his length.

"Mama.." he wines as your kisses travel down to his neck. You hum against the soft skin of his neck, wordlessly asking what he wants, even though you know full and well what he wants.

"Y/N, please- shit," Josh's hips buck up against your ass as you grind against him. You simply ignore him, continuing to kiss over his neck and collarbones.

Josh grabs your hips, a whimper falling past his lips as he thrusts up once again against your ass. "Josh," you whisper "hands off. Be a good boy." With a quiet whine, he lets go of you.

You move back to where you previously were, drawing a line of kisses down his body as you go. "Josh, can you do me a favor, love?" you kiss his tummy, completely avoiding his cock. Josh hums in response, his pretty brown eyes staring into yours. "Put your hands behind your back for me."

With a huff, he slides his hands underneath his back. "So good, baby," you taunt him, running your hands up and down his thighs as you suck new hickeys on his tummy. "Y/N..." He sighs, his hips slightly wiggling, his cock begging for release.

Finally, you give in, wrapping your hand around his cock and pumping slowly. A squeaky noise flies past his lips, so sensitive from the intense anticipation. The pace of your hand speeds up, and you begin to swirl your hand around his length.

"Oh shit," Josh groans, his hips faltering as he tries to stop himself from bucking up into your hand. Slowing down the pace of your hand, you bring yourself down to lick a stripe up his length before taking him into your mouth.

Josh writhes beneath you, obviously uncomfortable with his hands behind his back "fuck." You hum against him, stroking him as you bring your head up and then back down. Josh chokes back squeaky breaths as you squeeze him, the velvety feeling of your tongue dragging along his length driving him crazy.

Your eyes flick up to his, a weak smile forming on his lips which is quickly covered up by his mouth falling open and brows knitting together once you take him fully in your mouth. Tears form in your eyes as you try to ignore your gag reflex, his cock twitching in your mouth serving as a sign that he's close. "Holy fucking-" Josh groans, throwing his head back and choking back whimpers.

Releasing him from your mouth with a pop, you speed up the pace of your hand, squeezing tighter and swirling your hand around him. "Come on, Josh. Don't hold back. Let me have it, baby," You come down to kitten lick his tip, something else you knew got him off quickly.

Josh's cock twitches in your hand one last time before ropes of ivory paint your face "Oh god- fuck." Your hand begins to slow down significantly, languidly swirling your hand around him to help him ride out the high. The next few moments are simply you and Josh sitting in silence, Josh's heavy breathing being the only noise in the room.

"Okay, you can take your hands out now. You're being so good for me," you kiss the raw bruises on his his tummy before sitting up.

"Watch me," you demand, wiping some of the slick off your face and bringing it to your lips, licking your fingers clean. Josh lets out a low groan at the sight, his eyes even darker than before. A giggle escapes your lips as you move yourself further up his body, now your cunt being just above his cock.

Looking deeply into his eyes, you bring your hand back up to your face and wipe off the rest of the ivory slick. With your other hand, you move your panties to the side.

You watch his eyes widen and pupils dilate as you bring your hand down to your heat. You're unable to hold back the weak moan that falls past your lips when you spread the slick through your folds and around your entrance. There's no denying that you were desperately aroused. You needed him just as bad as he did you.

"Oh- my god," you slip a finger inside your now lubricated entrance, pumping in & out a few times before hovering over his cock. You look into Josh's heavy eyes, grasping the base of his cock and flicking his sensitive tip over your clit.

His hands reach out to the clasp of your bra, but you slap his hand away before he can get it undone. "Hm mm," you shake your head "These are your favorite, right? You're gonna watch me. You're gonna watch me ride you and you can't take these off or look at anything but me. Got it?"

His cheeks flush a crimson shade and a large smirk plays on his lips, nodding gently. You smile and come down to kiss him just before you prepare to sink down onto him.

Grasping onto his shirt, you take a deep breath and line yourself up with his tip, slowly letting him fill you up completely. "Oh fuck," you whimper, your eyes instinctively clamped shut as you lift your hips up ever so slightly and bring them back down.

"Y/N.." Josh whimpers, his head thrown back "fuck you feel so good." You don't respond, he just feels so good. As you lift your hips and come back down you feel every inch of his cock, every detail and vein. It's sinful.

"Oh," Josh groans once your hips begin to roll. "Fuck you're so good for me," you moan, lifting your hips and rolling them as you come back down, clenching as hard as you can around his cock.

Something you love is how unafraid Josh is to put that incredible voice to use. If he feels good, he'll vocalize it. He was a little hesitant at first, but he quickly picked up on how hard you'd cum whenever he was whining in your ear.

You stretch your arms out behind you, leaning back and letting his thighs hold your weight as you ride him. "Holy shit," you whimper, your eyes shut so tight it's as if they're sewn together.

A hushed whimper of your name escapes Josh's mouth as you stop lifting yourself completely, simply just rolling your hips and clenching around him. "Oh- does it feel good, baby? Do you like that?" You breathe, hardly able to get the sentence out without a moan ripping through your chest.

"Mhm," Josh hums, instinctively grabbing your hips and resting his hands there, your pace starting to speed up significantly. "Oh fuck me," Josh groans, desperately fighting the way his eyes involuntarily start to shut.

"You're being so good, Josh. Keep your eyes on me, love," you moan out, starting to lift your hips the tiniest bit. You throw your head back and your jaw falls slack, Josh's body taking over every thought you once had.

You force your head back up to look at him, your faces mirroring each other's and you realize neither of you are gonna last much longer. Once again you start to lift your hips, your orgasm manifesting its way into your stomach, that coil of pleasure tightening.

"Fuck. Oh fuck-" Josh groans as your walls squeeze and quiver around him, reaching up to cup your face. You lean into his touch, letting him bring you down to touch foreheads with him.

You nod against his head, squeaky noises escaping both of your mouths as you breathe each other in, completely taken by the pleasure. "Holy fucking- shit Y/N," a squeaky whine slips out of Josh's lips, his hands moving to grab your ass.

"Y/N I'm gonna-" you cut him off with a kiss. "I know, me too baby me too," you moan into his mouth, squeezing down as hard as you can.

"Mama I'm there I'm gonna-" Josh fails to finish his sentence, breathy moans falling from his mouth accompanied by strings of profanities. "Give it to me, baby. C'mon," you moan, breathing in every single one of Josh's breaths.

With one final groan from Josh, you feel hot ropes of cum paint your insides, the feeling causing your head to spin.

"Fuck fuck fuck," you moan, your eyes clamping shut as your orgasm rushes through your body, that coil in your tummy finally snapping. White, burning hot pleasure travels through every vein in your body and completely takes over your thoughts and senses.

With a heaving chest, you open your eyes and lift your head ever so slightly to look at Josh. His eyes are still shut, his jaw still slack, and his pretty pink cheeks glistening with sweat. The sight is something you wish you could get tattooed in your brain, and you can't help but giggle.

"What?" A smile forms on his lips, finally opening his eyes one at a time. "Nothing. You just look so pretty," you smile, coming down to kiss his swollen red lips. "Yeah well soak it up because next time it's gonna be me on top of you." You giggle at his statement, sitting up and sucking in a hiss as he helps you off of him, juices running down your thigh and his cock.

"That just means you're gonna be in charge of the clean up next time."

.

.

.

[smol-and-grumpy]

EUPHORIA - Chapter 24

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: He’s Dean Winchester, owner of a shady night club. She’s a journalist who has been asked to write an article to expose the indecency and debauchery that’s going on behind closed doors. But he’s also Dean Winchester, the boy who sat next to her in class. The boy who was too cocky for his own good.

Chapter Warning: NSFW, flangst

WC: 2824

A/N: This chapter fills my ‘voice kink’ square for @spnkinkbingo.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons <3

This series is complete on Patreon!

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

Become a Patron ~ Buy me a coffee

He’s pissed and overly grumpy. It’s too fucking early to be dealing with bullshit. But he’s also grumpy because he had to see Y/N off.

Walking around the corner, Cas’ notices him and nods. 

“Again?” Dean asks, sees them washing down the red paint. It looks bloody and it smells awful. It almost made him nauseous.

“Yeah,” Cas sighs, “It’s nothing I couldn’t deal with, so I didn’t feel the need to call you.”

“That’s okay,” Dean crosses his arms over his chest, watches the paint come off the walls before he turns to Cas, “Security footage?”

“We got it,” Cas says, but he doesn’t look happy about it so Dean already knows that it’s probably not even worth mentioning, “The guy wore a Vendetta mask and was dressed in black.”

“Great,” Dean breathes out, his hand goes up to rub at his forehead. There’s a puddle of paint running down the pavement towards him, and he takes a step to the side.

It’s moments like these that Dean wants to give up completely. That he wants to just sell the whole fucking thing and go do something else, being a fucking accountant for the firm Sam’s working in or just something that’s less stressful. Somewhere where he has to deal with less hate, maybe. Less jealousy. 

He places a hand on Cas’ shoulder, “You go home and get some shut eye. I’ll see you for the briefing later,” 

“‘K,” Cas answers and turns to walk away. Looking back, he calls out to Dean, “Balth is waiting in your office!”

Dean groans and rolls his eyes at that.

Apparently, he can’t catch a fucking break around here.

*

Dean walks into his office and sees Balthazar sitting on the couch. The man’s busy working on his laptop. A scent of coffee lingers in the air. He must have brought a cup with him because Dean doesn’t have a coffee machine in his office. What he has, though, is a fucking bar and he wonders if it would be too soon to pour himself a couple of fingers? It’s probably five o’clock somewhere , right? 

Even though his mouth waters at the thought of the burning liquid filling his throat and clouding his head, Dean abandons the thought quite quickly. She doesn’t like him to drink. It has a lot to do with how she grew up and Dean respects that, has toned it down since Y/N came back into his life, and he wants to keep that up.

“Balth,” Dean greets the man and walks over to his desk, sits down with a loud grunt, “What can I do for you?”

“How’s your hand?”

“Good.” Dean nods and holds it up, takes a look at it himself.

It’s bandaged. Y/N was telling him that he should let her do it or she’ll get angry at him. He smirks at the memory. He would have loved to say that she could get mad all she wants, because he likes how cute she looks when she’s mad, but he thinks that would have been a bad move on his part, so he just held still while she sat on his lap and bandaged his hand. The lap sitting was a deal he negotiated because he said that he wouldn’t let her if she wouldn’t sit on his lap. She rolled her eyes but sat down and it’s crazy how his lap was made for her to sit on.

Balthazar clears his throat before he closes his laptop, and Dean is catapulted back to reality. Back to an annoying work day. He thinks maybe he should take a break, ask her if she’s game to go on a road trip. Just the two of them, driving where the road takes them with no clear destination. Dean doesn’t think he needs one with her.

“I’ve stayed with Cole after you left.” Balthazar says while he places his laptop back into its bag.

“And?” Dean frowns.

“He won’t press charges,”

Dean snorts, “Yeah, because we have the upper hand.”

It’s no surprise. Dean knew that he wouldn’t. If he would, he’d see his ass in jail and Dean doubts that Cole would survive a day in there. All Dean wanted was to make a statement and he thinks that he was pretty clear about what the statement entailed.

“Still, you should be more careful with breaking bones.” Balthazar gets up from the couch and walks over to the chair across from Dean. He doesn’t sit down, though, only braces his hands on it, leaning in a little.

“He was touching what’s fucking mine, Balth. What do you want me to do?” Dean shouts out and immediately regrets his outburst because it hurt his own ears. He pinches the bridge of his nose. It’s too fucking early. 

When Dean calms down a little, he asks, “So, you had your eyes on him? He wasn’t anywhere near the club?”

“Nope, I drove him to the ER and he underwent surgery to correct his fucking jaw that you broke. He’ll stay there for the next two days, at least.”

“Good,” Dean nods. It’s not exactly good when it comes to the club, though, because Cole’s out of the picture, “Can you get more people on board? I want someone watching the club after closing. It’s a tiny window of time, three, maybe four hours.”

Balthazar nods, “I can do that.”

*

After Balthazar left, Dean decided to start up his computer since he hasn’t checked his emails for a couple of days now. He deliberately doesn’t have his work emails on his phone. It’s his private property and he made it clear from the beginning that he’s separating work and private life.

Dean clicks through the emails. There are some new member sign ups that he needs to go through. Some harmless threats which he usually bins right away. But then there are some mails that are more worrying as well.

He clicks on the first one with the title I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT . The email opens up to pictures of the altercation in front of Y/N’s office building. Dean can see that it was shot from across the street. Maybe from a parked car. He immediately forwards the pictures to Balthazar. 

There are more emails. Without pictures though, just words. Hurtful ones. 

  I WILL TAKE YOU AND YOUR CLUB DOWN

  YOU ARE A FUCKING DISGUSTING HUMAN BEING

  SHAME ON YOU

  YOUR CLUB WILL BE CLOSED. MARK MY WORDS

  It’s really nothing new. He gets those threats quite a lot and he always makes sure to block the sender but they keep making new email accounts and so he’ll keep deleting and blocking them. Dean can’t win in this, but neither can they, so at least there’s that.

*

Later in the day, while Dean’s briefing his employees, his phone vibrates in his pocket. He fishes it out, thinks it’s Balthazar calling him about new developments. The man had called earlier already, only to suggest for Dean to get a fucking bodyguard but Dean really doesn’t know about that. He just thinks it’s a waste of money. Only when Balth mentioned that Y/N’s safety might be in danger too, does Dean at least agree to consider it.

Dean stops his speech to look at the caller ID, has to suppress his smirk while he holds up his index finger, “I gotta take this one, Cas?” 

“Yeah,” The other man jumps in, grins himself because he knows, and Dean actually wants to wipe that smile from Cas’ face but he gotta hurry if he wants to take it before she hangs up on him.

Dean turns around, picks it up, smiles like an idiot because apparently, he lost the ability to control his fucking face, “Hey,” Dean walks up the stairs and disappears into the VIP room for some privacy.

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting? You must be busy.” 

It sounds like she’s pouting, Dean bites back a chuckle, “No, it’s okay, you never interrupt. How’s the workshop going?”

He tries to sound cheerful, doesn’t want to tell her about the things that happened yet. There’s no need for her to worry, really. 

“Ugh, boring,” Y/N sighs, and adds, “I have a short break before I have to go for the mandatory dinner.”

Dean flips his wrist, sees that it’s past 5pm. He grins, “You wanna spice things up at the dinner?”

“Dean,”

“What?” He chuckles.

“Well,” Her voice is almost whiny as she considers his words, “Yeah?”

“That’s my girl,” Dean smiles, “Jesus, I’m getting all excited myself.”

Cas appears in the room and Dean nods at him, “Baby, I gotta go, I need to finish something here,”

“Okay,” It sounds like she’s pouting and god, Dean feels bad for making her feel like he doesn’t have time for her or that he doesn’t care when all he’s doing is to make fucking time. But he guesses she’ll understand once they see each other. 

“Wear it and let me know when you’re going to dinner, alright?”

“Yeah,” She sighs, “Miss you.” 

Dean sighs, closes his eyes briefly, his heart flutters at those words. He smiles at the feeling, “I miss you, too.”

Y/N runs up to her room right after dinner, keys in her hand and leans back against the closed door as soon as she’s inside. She’s dripping wet from that vibe but she didn’t come yet. She doesn’t know how Dean does it but he always managed to stop when she’s about to come, making her whine out audibly once, and when Charlie, her friend from college who sat next to her asked what was wrong, she just said that she liked the food very much. 

God, it was so embarrassing!

She thinks about calling him but he’s probably busy working as it’s already past 10pm and the club is at its peak right about now. 

Taking off her shoes, she walks to the bathroom to clean her face and she brushes her teeth,  walking out into the bedroom shortly after. She quickly gets out of her dress and slips out of her panties that are completely soaked. 

The device is still inside of her and clear enough, it starts to buzz again, making her shriek out. She swears if he won’t let her come again—

—her phone rings.

Letting herself fall onto the bed, still in only her bra and nothing else — except for the vibrator in her pussy — she grabs at her clutch that she left there before she walked to the bathroom. 

  Dean.

  The vibrator still buzzes lightly inside of her and she picks up, has to gnaw on her bottom lip to suppress the moan.

“You are the worst!” It blurts out of her as soon as she swipes her thumb across the screen.

“Wait, what?” He’s laughing loudly.

“Yeah,” She pouts and moves up the bed, rests her back against the headboard while she spreads her legs and enjoys the buzzing between her thighs, “You turn me on and then you stop, and I was so close to coming.”

“Awe, poor baby,” Dean says in his mumbling voice and it sounds so fucking sexy, “Are you still turned on?”

“Yeah,” She mutters under her breath, “Please, you have to let me come.” 

“I don’t know,” He chuckles, “Have you been good, Y/N?”

Oh my god , he’s pulling that card, isn’t he? 

“I have. Please?” She nods and whines, teeth sinking into her bottom lip when she feels the buzzing getting stronger, moaning out shamelessly. 

“Christ, you sound so fucking sexy,” 

She can hear him growl on the other end. 

“No, you do,” There’s another increase of vibration and god, it makes her arch her back, as a shrieking sound rolls off her tongue. 

“I do? I don’t think so, sweetheart. I’m getting hard just hearing you moan.”

“It— ah— it’s your v—voice, Dean.”

“My voice? What’s with my voice, baby?” 

And it’s like he’s taunting her because it rolls deep, smooth like fucking honey and it feels like he’s wrapping her up in the warm sound. He increases the vibrations, and she didn’t know it could go further up but it does. One of her hands goes to her tit, kneads at it while she has a tight grip around her phone with the other. 

“Ah— it’s.. Fuck— it’s so deep and gravelly and oh god— it’s sexy,” 

“Yeah?” He chuckles, “Bet you’re so wet, ain’tcha, baby? You always are so wet for me. It’s the fucking best thing. Especially when you gush and come around my cock, Jesus—”

His breathing is ragged, he’s turned on too. 

Good , she thinks. At least she’s not the only one. 

“My panties were soaked. I took them off and now I’m on my bed in only my bra,” She manages to say, tongue darts out to wet her lips, “Wish you were here.” 

“I wish I was there too. Wish I could kiss you. I’d be right between your thighs right now, eating you out like you’re the sweetest thing, because you fucking are,” It comes out a little strained, “Does me telling you these thing turn you on, huh?”

“Yeah,” She chokes out a moan, “You could read me the goddamn phone book and it would turn me on, Dean.”

“Christ, I’m just imagining you right now, all spread out and wet,” There’s a low growl before he speaks again, “Can you do me a favor, huh?”

“Uh-huh,” 

“Use your words, sweetheart,” His voice is more stern. Doesn’t make it less sexy, though.

“Yes,” 

“Good girl,” 

God the praise . Y/N has to press her thighs together, already so fucking close. 

Dean goes on, “Take off your bra for me, baby. Take your thumb and forefinger, give them a firm tug for me, bet your nipples are sensitive, huh? I wanna hear you.”

She sits up to unclasp her bra before she throws it carelessly into the room. Leaning back again, her right hand goes to her left nipple, tugs hard and moans out in pained pleasure. 

“Good girl,” He coos, “Such a fucking good girl,” 

The vibration increases again and she thinks that’s the maximum it can go. Hopes it is, because she’s right there, dancing dangerously on the edge.

“Dean, please, I’m—”

“—I got you, baby,” He breathes out a soft chuckle, “Come, you can come, now. Come for me, okay? I wanna hear you come for me.” His whispering low, and the words paired with his voice, plus the added buzzing in her cunt was enough to tip her over.

Oh god. His voice is really out of his world. She comes with a squeal. His name rolls off her tongue as she squeezes her eyes shut and her legs start to tremble. Her hips buck up and she doubles over and has to roll herself into a fetal position on the bed.

There’s a ringing in her ear from the orgasm and she feels the vibration getting softer until it’s completely gone. Dean’s voice is faint in her ear through the phone.

Good girl. My fucking good girl.

She swallows hard, her eyes are still closed. When Y/N comes back to her senses, she starts to giggle and then she hears it. The knock at her door. 

“What’s so funny?” Dean asks as she sits up straight, startled from the knocking.

“Oh my god, someone just knocked at my door.” She says, her heart’s still pounding fast.

“Go on, open it.” 

“No, who would knock at this time of night? I’m sure they just have the wrong room.” She doesn’t know if she’s trying to talk to him or talk herself out of her anxiety of the realization that someone came knocking at her door late at night.

“Maybe it’s room service?” 

“Dean, I just came from dinner, I didn’t order anything!”

“Jesus Christ, I didn’t think it would be this hard!” Dean growls and she might be hearing things because she hears the deep growl outside of her door? He sighs then, “Baby, I really think you should open up.”

“Oh my god, you didn’t... Dean, no.” She scrambles off the bed, and somehow she doesn’t even care if she’s fucking naked. 

“Dean, yes!” He chuckles lightly, “Come on, I’m standing in the hallway with a visible boner and I think if someone sees it, they’ll call the cops.”

She hangs up and drops the phone onto the bed as she makes her way to the door, opens it up wide to see Dean smiling at her.

Chapter 25

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

[sunmoonandeddie]

i’ll be home for christmas

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 4,019

summary: Bucky made a promise to his girl, and Steve helps him keep it.

warnings: Some h*ckin’ words.

a/n: So like.  I just slapped this together when the idea came to me last night.  Let me know what you think!

Bucky Barnes was tired.

And not the tired that came from being on your feet all day, no.  He was the kind of tired that was bone deep.  It sunk down underneath his skin and took root in all the small crevices of his body.  It lingered in the lines on his palms and the soft skin behind his knees.

He let out a groan befitting his true age as he got up off the bed, moving to his dresser.  A picture frame sat on the dark wood, an old engagement ring sitting next to it.  His eyes rested on your face for an extra minute or two as he took in a deep breath.

It was a picture of you from 1942.  You were wearing that pretty green dress that brought out your eyes, your hair perfectly curled.  From a first glance, the photo looked so serious, but he could see the twitch of a poorly contained smile at the corner of your lips.  It was a photo your mother had taken with your family’s color camera.

A luxury, in those days.

Your family had been one of the ones a little better off after the stock market crashed.  You weren’t thrown into the same kind of poverty that he was.

Your family was old money and old money didn’t crash and burn because it didn’t believe in the banks.  Your father kept your family’s fortune in a safe in your house.

When the banks had failed, you guys had stayed afloat.

Not that your family hadn’t helped out others.  You’d been so kind.  Your father had given him a winter coat when he’d seen that his was several sizes too small and worn thin.

Bucky had been eighteen and still wearing the coat he got when he was twelve.

Your father had also been his boss when he worked at the docks, and had subsequently been the reason that his family had survived those harsh years.  They hadn’t been able to survive on his pa’s savings forever, especially not after his ma lost her job when she broke her hand.

But that was so long ago.

“We’re doing some pretty big things today, darlin,’” he said as he pulled on his jacket.  “Stevie’s going back in time to take the Infinity Stones back.  He’s gotta take them to the exact moment in time they were taken or it’ll create alternative timelines or something like that.  It was a lot of words that even I couldn’t understand, and you know how much of a nerd I am.”  He took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair.  “I miss you, baby,” he whispered as he pressed two fingers to his lips before gently touching the glass of the photo frame, right where your lips were.  “I love you always.”

“BARNES!”

Bucky looked up to see his supervisor, Davies, calling him over.  He wiped his hands on his jeans as he headed over, calling out, “Yes, sir?”

“We’ve got a new shipment coming in late tonight.  Is there anyway you could come in?” Davies asked, at least having the decency to appear a little apologetic.  “I’ll throw in a coupla extra bucks for ya, kid.”

He sighed, glancing down at his shoes.  They were his one good pair and they were starting to wear through.  There was no denying that he was going to need a new pair in the upcoming months, and that’s not to mention how fast Becca was growing.

She’d need a new dress within just a few weeks, he was sure of it.

And Christmas was coming up.  Fuck.

As much as Becca insisted that she didn’t need a Christmas present, that she understood how rough things were, he still needed to do something for her.  He needed to preserve that little bit of normalcy, that idea that Christmas was special.

Maybe a new pair of stockings.  Or some mittens.  Something small and simple that he might be able to afford.

“Yeah.  Yeah, I can do that,” he said.

“Thanks, kiddo,” Davies said with a grin.  “You’re the best damn guy we got working here.  Keep it up.  Maybe there’s a promotion in your future.”

God, he hoped so.  With how bleak everything had been, his family could really use the knowledge of knowing that he had a secure job and secure pay, even if it wasn’t a lot.

The chatter of the men around him died down a little with the sound of heels clacking on the wet docks, and he turned to see you walking towards the main office, a bag in your hand.  You wandered the edge of the docks, eyes on the water that crashed up against the concrete walls.

You didn’t seem to notice the way the men were staring at you, or if you did, you hid it well.  You burrowed down into your thick winter coat, the mink fur lining the color keeping your ears warm.  Your hair was styled in a sleek French twist, a style his ma used to do a lot for Sundays at church.

You were beautiful.

But Bucky watched almost in slow motion as your heel slipped on the ice that covered the docks, your eyes going wide as you fell into the icy water with a crash.

The other men were frozen in place, not sure what to do.  They were torn between wanting to help and not wanting to risk the icy depths.

His heart pounding, Bucky ran for where you’d disappeared, tearing off his threadbare coat along the way.  The men shouting at him sounded like buzzing in his ears as he dove in.

Eyes stinging from the salt water, he felt his heart jump as he saw you struggling to swim to the surface, bogged down by heavy skirts and your coat.  He grabbed you by the waist, holding you close to his chest, before pushing up to the surface.

Blinking away the water in his eyes, he was greeted with men surrounding the area that he’d jumped from.

You were sputtering in his arms, coughing up water and clutching onto him for dear life.

“I’ve got you,” he said, his legs working in overtime as he worked to keep both of you afloat.  “It’s okay.  I’ve got you.”

“SOMEONE GIVE ‘IM A HAND!”

Bucky passed you off to one of the men, waiting for you to be pulled up onto the docks before he allowed several hands to pull him up.  He collapsed on the cold concrete, staring up at the sky as he tried to catch his breath.  He pushed himself up, grabbing his coat from where it’d fallen.  “You’re gonna catch your death,” he said as he threw it over you, trying to shield you as best as he could from the wind coming off the water.

“FLOWER!  FLOWER!”

He looked up to see the big boss man, the one who owned the docks, running towards them.  His eyes widened as he realized that you looked remarkably like him.

“D-Daddy,” you stammered, coughing up more water.

“Oh, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” her father said as he fell to his knees in front of you.  He held your face in his hands as he checked you over for any sort of injuries.  “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” you insisted, holding onto him.  “Thanks to him.”  You nodded over to Bucky, and it was then that your father finally seemed to notice him.

He swallowed as the man’s eyes fixed on him.  “You saved my daughter?” He asked.

Bucky slowly nodded.  “It was nothing, sir,” he insisted.

“It wasn’t nothing,” he insisted, helping you up.  He held out a hand to Bucky, who gave him a look of bewilderment.

It wasn’t often that rich men held out their hand to poor boys like him.

“She needed help, and I wasn’t going to leave her in there,” he said with a shrug as he shoved his hands into his pockets.  He tried to play off just how cold he was, his wet clothes sticking to his skin and starting to turn to ice.  If he looked closely at his fingers, he could see them starting to turn blue.

Her father seemed to notice his predicament and took off his coat, pulling it around his shoulders.  “Come on into the office.  We’ll get you two nice and warmed up,” he said.

Bucky didn’t know what else to do, so he just nodded and followed him.

“Thank you.”

He looked over in surprise to see you looking up at him with pretty eyes, a flush in your cheeks that he suspected had nothing to do with the cold.  “It was nothing,” he repeated, glancing down at his feet.

Steve would have a field day about how he’d done something stupid enough to warrant a scolding from his ma, something that the blond was usually on the end of.

“You saved my life,” you whispered, holding his coat tightly around you.  “I’ll never be able to thank you enough.”

The others were waiting for him down by the time travel thing.  He could never be bothered to ask the actual name.  He knew that the others had used Pym Particles to go back, but the actual contraption didn’t seem to have a name other than ‘time machine’ and it seemed like such a lame name for something so fucking cool.

Steve was getting ready to go, chatting with Sam idly as they stood there.  Banner was messing with the controls.

He’d seen photos of the Hulk before, but the weird mix of both Banner and the green rage monster was… unsettling, to say the least.

Steve sighed as he walked over to Bucky, eyeing him slowly.  “You know, Buck, I’ve been thinking.”

“That’s never a good thing,” he teased, a sly smile creeping up on his lips.

He laughed, shaking his head in slight amusement.  “I want you to come with me on this.  Help me out.”  He wrapped an arm around him.  “You didn’t get to do the whole time travel thing with us, and we have more than enough Pym Particles.”

Bucky looked at him, trying to get a read on his eyes.  Finally, he let out a chuckle.  “Okay.  Sure.  I’ll go with you to help with the Stones.”

And within two minutes, he had one of those fancy contraptions on his wrist and a quantum suit had materialized around his clothes.

Returning the Stones was easy.  And time travel was exhilarating, to say the least.  In all of his wildest dreams, he’d never imagined anything like it.

Steve took an extra long moment when they returned the Tesseract to the seventies, stealing a moment to observe Peggy in her natural element.

She was a force to be reckoned with, but she always had been.

Bucky knew what Steve wanted to do.  They’d talked about it the night before.

His best friend wanted to go back to the forties to get his life with the Brit, with his first love.

And he got it.  He really did.  He understood the longing to go back, to steal back the life that was taken from him.

But Peggy had a life ahead of her.  One that Steve wasn’t a part of.  She had a husband and children and grandchildren.

“We got one last stop,” the blond said as he turned away from the window he’d been observing her in her office through.  His eyes lingered on the photos of her family on her desk as he typed new coordinates, and with a flash, they were gone.

“Where are we?” Bucky asked as he glanced around.

But even as he asked, he knew.

Brooklyn.  1940-something.

A thin blanket of snow covered the ground, but there was already more coming down.  It coated his lashes and his long hair in a white dust.

“The war ended in September,” Steve said, leading him down the alleyway.  “Figured it’d be best to drop you off where there wasn’t a war going on.”

“Drop me off?”  He took in every sight, smell, and sound like it was a drug.  He’d missed this place so much.  As much time as he spent in the twenty-first century, it never felt like home.  He always felt like he was on his toes, like he couldn’t relax.

Steve stopped in front of a familiar townhouse, a sly smile on his lips that was barely visible in the dim light of the streetlamp.  “If I remember correctly, you made someone a promise.  And I intend to help you keep it.”

“Stevie–”

He shook his head, his eyes fixing him in place.  “Listen, jerk.  I’m not going back to Peggy.  I did some thinking, and it’s not right,” he said.  “She’s got her own life, her own love.  Maybe mine is out there.  But yours…”  He looked up towards the window that Bucky knew peered into the kitchen, a soft light illuminating the flowers lining the sill inside that you were nicknamed after.  “I know you’ve read her file.  You know she never married, never moved on.  That’s the love of your life, and you have the chance to be with her.”

“But what about you?  And Sam?” He asked, his voice cracking with emotion.  His eyes burned as he tried to hold the tears back.

Steve smiled warmly as he slung an arm around his shoulders.  “Sam and I are gonna be just fine.  He’s gonna need someone to listen while he rants about how the shield is more trouble than it’s worth more often than not and how people expect Captain America to be Mr. Apple Pie,” he said.

Bucky nodded, rubbing the heels of his palms against his eyes.  “Tell him I said bye, okay?  And that I’ll miss him.”  As much as he didn’t like to admit it, the man had grown on him.  He considered him one of his best friends.  They gave each other shit, but he knew he’d take a bullet for him.  “And he’s an ass.”

The other man let out a chuckle, nodding as he pulled him into a tight hug.  “I’ll miss you, jerk.”

“Yeah, I’ll miss you, too, I guess,” he said, squeezing him for an extra moment.  Everything he’d been through in the past seventy years felt like it was all coming to a head in this moment.  “I love you, punk.”

“I love you, too.”  Steve pulled back, pulling a letter out of his suit pocket.  “Give this to Peggy.  She’ll know what to do.”

With a nod and one last hug, Bucky turned to go up the steps of your townhouse, his hands sweating as he knocked on the door.

January 4th, 1945

My dearest Sunflower,

I’m still alive.  I know you’re ready to kick my ass for not writing to you in a few weeks, but we’ve been unable to find a post office.

Steve is good.  The other guys are good.  We’re doing alright for ourselves.

We’re somewhere in Austria right now.  I can’t tell you exactly where, and they might redact it anyway.

It’s cold as hell here.  Even colder than the water I jumped into to save you that day we first met.  Remember that?  I thought you were the prettiest gal I’d ever seen.  Still do.

To be honest, darling, I don’t think even your father’s coat could keep me warm here.  We have to keep fires going at all times  One of the men got frostbite in his fingers because he didn’t wear his gloves.

I’m sorry I wasn’t there for Christmas.  I know that you looked mighty pretty in whatever dress you wore though.  I bet it looked real good with that ring on your finger.  Becca said in her letters that you never take it off.  I just want you to know how often I think about that.  It gives me a little happiness, knowing that you’re going to be my wife when all of this is over.  I keep your picture right over my heart.  The one your ma took a few months before I got drafted.

A lot of the other men aren’t so lucky.  They don’t have a gal to go home to.  Definitely not one was pretty as you.  When your letters arrive, I let them read them as long as they promise not to mess it up.  They really liked that hair ribbon and the photo of you and Becca you sent me.

I think it gives them hope, knowing that there’s still love in this world to give and to receive.

For Christmas, there weren’t many gifts.  Steve did give me an extra few pairs of socks.  I gave him an extra blanket I found lying around.

I know you’re going to say otherwise, but I can’t stop feeling like I failed your pa.  The one thing he asked of me when he left was that I look after you and your ma and I promised him I would.  I told him I wouldn’t come over here and risk my ass.

I ran into him a few weeks ago.  He was going around with some of the other higher officers, talking to the troops.

Needless to say, he was surprised to see me.

He looked so mad when he pulled me into his makeshift office, I thought I’d die right there.  You know how much his opinion means to me.  I’d never had a good father figure until I met him.  My pa was never like him.  Never treated my ma or my sister with the respect and love your father has.  I never knew fathers could be kind until I met him.

So I told him everything.  I told him about getting drafted, how I’d tried to get out of it.  I hadn’t even told Steve that.  Only you.

Thanks for not telling him I was over here.  I know it was awful of me to ask such a thing of you, but he swears he’s not upset with you and he understands.

He cried when I told him I’d been drafted, that I’d done my best to stay home and keep you and your ma safe.  I cried, too.  I’m not ashamed to admit it.

He was a little upset with me for not going home when I had the chance, but I told him I had to stay with Steve and make sure he stays safe.

But I promise you, I’ll be home for Christmas.  I don’t know if it’ll be this Christmas or the next or the next, but I’ll make it home to you, okay?  I pinky promise.

I have to go.  Steve’s just got word that Zola is on the move.

All my love,

Your Jamie

You took a long swig of wine as you read the letter for the eighth time tonight.  No matter how much of the bottle you drank, it didn’t numb the pain.

He never came home.

You’d held onto that letter, rereading it so many times that the paper had gone soft.  Some of the words were blurred from tear stains.

It was the last letter you ever received from him.

Knock.  Knock.  Knock.

You looked up in surprise, glancing over at the clock.  “Who the hell is knocking on my door at midnight?” You asked yourself as you pulled on your robe to cover your nightgown.

Which, it wasn’t like you were sleeping.

After spending Christmas Eve cooking with your ma, Winifred, and Becca, you were exhausted.  But you were all determined to get it done so you could spend Christmas Day relaxing.

A pang twisted your heart as you glanced down, your ring catching in the light.

Even after two years, you didn’t have the heart to take it off.

Knock.  Knock.  Knock.

You huffed, tying your robe tightly.  “I’m coming, I’m coming.”  Flicking on the front hallway light, you didn’t bother to look through the peephole at whoever the hell was at your door.  Wiping away a few lingering tears, you flung open the door, ready to chew the person out, but the words caught in your throat.

James Buchanan Barnes was standing on your doorstep.  Even though he looked a few years older, with his long hair and thick beard, there was no doubt in your mind that it was him.

“J-Jamie?” You stammered, tears pricking your eyes.  “Is it really you?”

“It’s really me, sunflower,” he said, shuffling his feet.

The smile he gave you was so boyish and charming, so Jamie, that you fell to your knees.  Sobs wracked your body as you tried to catch your breath.  “I-I thought you were dead!  They told me you were!”

“I promised you I’d be home for Christmas.”  Bucky fell to his knees with you, gathering you up in his arms.  “It’s me, baby.  It’s me.  I’m here.  I’m home.  And I’m never leaving you again.”

Sniffling, you grabbed his face in your hands, pushing his hair back.  “Your hair,” you laughed, toying with the silky strands.  “Your hair is so long.”  Your fingers moved to cup his jaw, a giggle breaking through the sobs.  “And your beard!”

He let out a chuckle, resting his forehead against yours.  His hand found your left, running over the stones on the ring that he’d given you with a promise to come home years ago when he’d been shipped off.  “I have so much to tell you, my love.  But I’m home.”

The feeling he could never find in the twenty-first century was back.  The weariness in his bones disappeared as he held you against his chest, smoothing down your hair as he rocked you back and forth.  The feeling of being home at last bloomed in his chest.

You rested your head on his shoulder, blinking away tears as you stared out at the snowy sky, holding him tight.  You didn’t care that you were half inside and half out, or that the neighbors could see you.

But you were startled to see Steve Rogers leaning against the streetlamp, his arms crossed over his chest.  He looked like he’d been put through the ringer just like Bucky.

And he looked so much bigger.  You’d seen the newsreels of him, but nothing compared to seeing him standing just a few feet away.

“Thank you,” you mouthed to him.

He gave you a nod, a teary smile on his face, before fiddling with something on his wrist and disappearing into thin air.

Grabbing Bucky’s face in your hands, you pressed sweet kisses all over his hair and his face.  “You’re never allowed to scare me like that ever again,” you said, leaning back to look in his eyes.  Even though they were sparkling with delight, there was a hauntedness to them that you had no doubt had something to do with the metal arm that was currently holding you.  But you were sure that would be explained later.  Right now, you were just grateful to have him home.  “You hear me?  I’ll…  I’ll put you on house arrest if I have to!”

He grinned, basking in your kisses like they were summer sunshine.  “Trust me, darlin,’ I’m not going anywhere.”  He pressed a bruising kiss to your lips, his flesh hand holding the back of your head.

It felt just as good as all the kisses you’d gotten from him before, maybe even better.

“I gotta ask you something,” he said as he leaned back just enough to brush his nose against yours.

“You can ask me anything, Jame, long as you stay here with me,” you murmured, kissing him once, twice, three more times before letting him speak again.

An impish grin tugged at his lips.  “Where the hell are your decorations?  I come home and I don’t even get some mistletoe to kiss you under?”

Rolling your eyes, you leaned your forehead against his.  You relaxed as you felt his steady, strong heartbeat under your palm.  For the first time since he’d been deployed over to Europe, you felt complete.  “I don’t need mistletoe to kiss you under, Sarge.”

[prettyboy-parker]

i’ll be waiting for you in san junipero (but only if you want me to)

if you haven’t seen the black mirror episode, read on AO3 for a short introduction. if you have, continue!

words: 6.5k

warnings: nff, drinking, smoking, terminal illness, past stony, character death (not detailed), and semi-public sex

spotify playlist

1987

Pink and purple light floods over the hot mass of bodies in the center of the club, shouts of laughter filling the stuffy air. Bananarama’s one-hit-wonder “Venus” blares from the speakers, the bass giving the club its own heartbeat. The flashing Tucker’s sign makes Peter flinch as he slips inside. Someone blows cigarette smoke into the open, which makes him cough and wave the smoke away.

“S’cuse me,” He squeaks, pushing past a preppy-dressed man talking lowly to a bubble gum popping woman. They both look up at him in annoyance before turning back to their conversation. Peter grimaces and wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans. He weaves his way around the people mulling about and slips over to the bar.

The bartender doesn’t see him at first, too busy fixing a drink for another patron. But the blonde eventually notices him, and Peter gives him a shy smile.

“What can I get for you?” The man asks, his smile tight. There’s a tired lilt to his voice, and Peter nearly feels bad for him. 

“Um, just a Coke, please,” He squeaks, nervously resting his hands on the bar counter. He yanks them away right after, settling on hanging them by his sides.

“Just a Coke? Not like, a rum and Coke?” The bartender asks; his face twisted sourly.

“Just a Coke,” Peter repeats with a nod. The man grimaces and pulls out a chilled glass of Coca Cola.

“Thanks,” Peter says, but the bartender is already out of earshot.

“Fuck off, dude! I sucked you off last week!”

Peter’s heart jumps and he spins around, pressing his back against the wood of the bar.

A man is heading towards him, and he’s moving very quickly.

He has a disgruntled look on his face, and his big brown eyes are narrowed in annoyance. Peter feels the moisture leaves his mouth when he sees the man’s sharp collarbones peeking out from the collar of his printed shirt. The man stops short next to Peter and slings his arm around the shorter’s shoulders.

“Pretend like you know me,” The man murmurs into Peter’s ear, sending shivers down the boy’s spine.

“Tony! What are we, kindergarteners? Talk to me!”

Another man, a little younger (yet taller) than Tony, emerges from the crowd of people.

“Leave me alone, Stephen. I don’t do seconds.” Tony grumbles, rolling his eyes. His arm is heavy on Peter’s shoulders, and the brunette is woozy at the feeling of Tony’s side pressed against his.

“You don’t do seconds?” Stephen scoffs, stopping in front of the two. “I think Maya would beg to differ.”

Peter can feel Tony tense up against him.

“Go away, Stephen. I’m trying to have a conversation,” The man spits, tucking his free hand in the back pocket of his jeans. Stephen looks at Peter warily.

“Oh, really? Or are you just looking for another fuck?”

Peter can feel heat creep onto his cheeks.  Tony throws his head back and laughs.

“Fuck off. He’s an old friend from college,” Tony tells Stephen, giving Peter a pat on the bicep. Stephen looks like he doesn’t believe a word that came out of Tony’s mouth, but he still walks away with a huff.

“Jesus, a guy can never get a break around here,” Tony mutters angrily, slipping his arm off of Peter’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry he was being an ass,” Peter says softly, anxiously rocking on his heels. Tony shrugs.

“I can’t blame him. Who wouldn’t want piece of this?” Tony jokes, a goofy smile on his face as he gestures to himself. Peter chuckles and shakes his head.

“Anyways, I’m Tony,” The other man says, sticking out his hand. Peter takes it and gives it a loose shake. “And you are?”

“Peter,” The brunette replies before dropping Tony’s hand.

“ Peter ,” He repeats, and Peter melts at the sound of his name coming from those plump lips. Tony’s eyes flick down to his glass.

“Rum and Coke?” He asks, cocking an eyebrow.

“Just a Coke,” Peter says bashfully. Tony gives him a funny look, but still smiles.

“You’re cute,” He purrs, voice quiet under the music of the club. Peter’s stomach churns and he lets out a breathy laugh. The smaller man puts his drink on the counter. “Let’s dance. You wanna dance?”

“Oh, I don’t-“

Tony grabs his hand before he can finish and pulls him into the throng of dancing people. Peter yelps in surprise, but allows the man to whisk him away. Tony’s hand is warm and a little bit sweaty, yet Peter doesn’t mind.

“I love this song!” Tony shouts when “She Blinded Me With Science” by Thomas Dolby plays from the speakers. The crowd cheers and Tony grabs Peter’s other hand.

It's poetry in motion

She turned her tender eyes to me

As deep as any ocean

As sweet as any harmony

Tony sways his hips back and forth in time with the music. Peter laughs softly, standing stiffly.

“Come on, loosen up!” Tony tells him, grinning wildly. Peter tries to sway his body like Tony, but he just feels stupid. The other man doesn’t seem to notice, because he moves closer to Peter.

Mm, but she blinded me with science

She blinded me with science

And failed me in biology, yeh yeh

“There you go! Don’t ever say you can’t dance,” Tony yells over the music, running his tongue over his bottom lip. A giggle bubbles from Peter’s throat.

Now uh, huh huh

When I'm dancing close to her

Blinding me with science, science

Science

“I think we should go get some air,” Peter calls out, swinging him and Tony’s hands side to side. “It’s really hot!”

Tony finds that funny and laughs. As the song comes to an end, the two weave their way back through the crowd. Tony steers him past the arcade machines and to the peeling back door.

“Fuck, it’s like an oven in there,” Tony groans once they get outside, the door shutting behind him with a heavy thud. Peter watches him slip a cigarette and a lighter out of his back pocket.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect it to be so hot in there,” Peter says, leaning against the brick wall of the club. Tony places the end of the cigarette in his mouth.

“Expect?” Tony asks, giving him a funny look. “Is this your first time here?”

Peter avoids Tony’s gaze and looks at his Vans.

“Yup,” He murmurs, awkwardly fiddling with his belt. Tony reaches out and encases Peter’s wrist with his fingers. The brunette holds his breath as Tony runs his thumb over his wrist.

“How about we head to mine?”

Peter’s heart stops in his chest.

And then, he yanks his hand away.

“No!” He exclaims, but immediately regrets it when he sees the look on Tony’s face. “I mean, I would, but-“

“Hey, don’t sweat it.” Tony says coolly. He flicks the lighter and brings the flame to his lips. “It’s almost midnight, anyways.”

***

One Week Later- 1987

Dark hair. Dark eyes. Bright smile. Honey-smooth voice.

Peter scans the crowd for Tony, eyes flicking over the sweaty bodies. He doesn’t see him right away, and he can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Tony has been on Peter’s mind all week since their first meeting. Over much thinking (and internal bickering), he’s decided to find Tony again.

He hasn’t fucked anyone since his 20’s, okay?

San Junipero is advertised as a getaway, a place where you can do whatever you want-without repercussion. He would have waited to get to know Tony more before even kissing him, but Peter quickly learned that’s not how they roll here.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he shuffles around the edge of the dance floor. Half of him wants to run and find somewhere on the beach to sit and mull, but the other half yearns to find Tony.

And there he is.

Peter stops in his tracks, right next to the cluster of arcade games. He spots Tony nestled on one of the pink vinyl seats, looking bored as a girl with big hair talks to him. He looks good, his hair slicked back and a cherry red letterman jacket wrapped around his broad frame.

Tony looks up.

Peter’s breath catches in his throat when their eyes meet. Tony’s doe eyes go wide, and Peter gives him a shy wave. The older man says something to the girl next to him before getting up and weaving his way around the crowd.

There’s a small smirk on Tony’s face when he approaches Peter.

“I’ve changed my mind,” The smaller man says. “I-I want you.”

Tony grins like the cat that got the cream.

“I knew it,” He murmurs, stepping closer to Peter. He reaches out and gently brushes Peter’s bicep with his hand. “Everyone gets the first day jitters.”

Peter laughs, but his heart pounds against his rib cage. Are there the second day jitters, too? Tony shuffles a little closer and wraps one arm around his waist.

“I’ve got a little place next to the ocean. You ready to go?”

Poor old Johnny Ray

Sounded sad upon the radio

But he moved a million hearts in mono

Our mothers cried, sang along, who'd blame them

Peter smiles as the wind tousles his curls, glancing over to Tony. The older man winks and revs the engine of his Mustang. ( “1983 Ford Mustang Convertible, baby. The best out there,” Tony had said, but Peter was too lost in his eyes.)

“Almost there, sugar!” Tony shouts over the wind, taking a particularly sharp left. Peter shrieks as they lean to the side.

You're grown (so grown up)

So grown (so grown up)

Now I must say more than ever

(Come on, Eileen)

Too ra loo ra too ra loo rye aye

And we can sing just like our fathers

“Holy shit, be careful!” Peter yells, but there’s no fear in his voice. Tony laughs, loud and bright and warm . He reaches to the side and tucks his hand over Peter’s thigh.

Come on, Eileen, oh I swear (what he means)

At this moment, you mean everything

You in that dress, my thoughts I confess

Verge on dirty

Ah, come on, Eileen

Tony eventually slows his speed when they reach the beach, passing the clumps of twirling sea grass and sand dunes.

His house is very cute.

It reminds him of the old beach house they would rent on the shores of Long Island, a desperate attempt at a picture perfect vacation while his mother was dying. The house is a watered down blue color, weathered from the sun and the sand. There’s no decorations, no plastic flamingoes, no welcome mat. But it’s cute.

“Home sweet home,”  Tony sings once he shuts off the car. Peter laughs softly before unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Oh, you might want to take your shoes off now. The sand can be a bitch.”

“True,” Peter replies, undoing the laces of his sneakers with shaky hands. Tony does the same, then swings open the car door. Peter tucks his socks into his shoes and climbs out the car. The sand feels nice between his toes; soft and smooth.

Peter follows Tony into his house, glancing over his shoulder when they clamber up the porch steps. The city glows behind them, tiny lights dotting the landscape.

“Slow poke!” Tony laughs, snapping Peter out of his thoughts. He wraps his hands around the younger’s waist and pulls him inside. Tony kicks the door closed and Peter drops his shoes on the ground. With a flash of bravery, he rests his hands on Tony’s chest. The older man lets out a breath, and their lips are so close that the air hits Peter’s.

“I wanna kiss you,” Peter blurts, leaning closer into Tony’s touch. The corner of the man‘s mouth twitches.

“Then kiss me.”

Peter presses his lips to Tony’s. He does it a little too forcefully, too enthusiastically, because Tony stumbles backwards. He regains his footing though, and kisses back happily. Peter squeaks when Tony squeezes his ass.

“ Tony ,” Peter breathes as Tony moves his wet lips down his cheek and to his jaw.

“I’ve been thinking about getting my hands on you,” Tony grumbles against his warm skin. The feeling of his teeth makes Peter shudder. “When I saw you at the bar, I needed to get you in my bed.”

Peter lets out a shaky moan at Tony’s words, hips stuttering when he sucks a bruise onto his neck. Peter can feel the hard outline of Tony’s dick against his thigh.

“S-Speaking of that bed,” The smaller man stutters, tangling his fingers in Tony’s hair.

“Right over there,” He replies, gently grabbing Peter’s hands and removing them from his hair. The brunette giggles as Tony guides him to the bed, the bed that’s, for some reason, pushed against the living room windows. When Tony sees the look on his face, he smirks.

“I like everything in one room, baby. Except the toilet.” He explains while he gets Peter onto the bed. Peter laughs and kisses Tony again, letting the older man push him so he’s lying down. The pressure of his crotch against Peter’s makes the younger man moan against Tony’s lips. He tries to grind upwards, searching for relief against his aching cock.

“Get this fuckin-this shirt off,” Tony growls, yanking at the hem of Peter’s shirt and pulling it over his head. Tony sits upwards, shucks off his jacket, and takes off his own shirt, throwing it onto the ground. Peter’s mouth goes dry as he eyes the trail of dark hair that leads to Tony’s... yeah . Peter reaches out and touches his navel.

“Ngh, fuck,” Tony groans, hurriedly unbuckling his belt and pulling it from the loops. Peter’s chest heaves as he undoes his belt. Tony rolls to the side, unfortunately off of Peter, and starts to take off his shoes. Peter shimmies out of his jeans awkwardly, whimpering when his hand brushes over his rock hard cock. 

“Pete,” Tony breathes after he takes off his jeans.

Peter pulls Tony into a kiss by his neck. The older man groans and cups both of Peter’s cheeks. The brunette reaches down and gently squeezes Tony’s dick through his cotton boxers.

“Shit!” He hisses, and in a sudden move he pulls Peter’s boxers down his pale thighs. Peter sighs when his cock is finally freed, bobbing in the cool air. It’s still the same smaller-than-average size as real life, unfortunately. But Tony’s cock is big, thick and veined and leaking precum.

“Look at you,” Tony coos, wrapping his tan fingers around Peter’s length. He lets out a high pitched whine at the friction and slick sound. “All this for me?”

“ Y-yes ,” Peter pants, tangling his fingers in the sheets. Tony shuffles closer so his own cock is lined up against Peter’s. The sight is absolutely filthy.

“I hate to admit it, but I’m really close,” Tony groans, beginning to stroke both himself and Peter at the same time. Peter’s hips jerk upwards, making his cock rub against Tony’s

“ Tony ,”  Peter cries, falling forward and mouthing at the older man’s neck. For the next couple of moments, the sounds of grunts and moans fill the room. The up and down motion of Tony’s hand makes Peter’s gut curl, and before he knows it-

“Fuck!” Peter shouts as his balls tighten and he spills his release over Tony’s hand. Tony breathing picks up as he nears his climax, using Peter’s cum to slick his own cock. With a loud moan, Tony reaches his orgasm.

“Baby,” Tony mumbles once he catches his breath. Peter lets out a breathy laugh as Tony flops down on the bed. The younger man does the same, lying so close that their noses almost touch. Tony smiles, and the way his gorgeous eyes crinkle make Peter feel all warm and fuzzy.

“That was- s’really good,” He slurs, reaching out and barely grazing Tony’s cheek with his fingertips. His skin is warm, flushed a sweet pink.

“Damn right it was,” Tony laughs, wrapping his clean arm around Peter’s waist. “Do y’know what time it is? I cant remember when we left the bar.”

“It’s almost-“

Peter jolts upwards, the gentle beep of the monitor filling his ears.

“Midnight.”

*** Another Week Later- 1990

Strike a pose

Strike a pose

(Vogue, vogue, vogue)

(Vogue, vogue, vogue)

Peter awkwardly tucks his hands into the pockets of his overalls, breathing heavy from his trek around the club. He’s looked everywhere and he just can’t find Tony. He knows he’s being clingy and weird, but Tony has been constantly on his mind.

Look around, everywhere you turn is heartache

It's everywhere that you go (look around)

You try everything you can to escape

The pain of life that you know (life that you know)

Peter spots the man from a few weeks ago standing by the bar. What was him name again? Stefan? Steven?

Stephen!

Peter, although a little too enthusiastically, rushes down the small set of steps to the tall man. He doesn’t look up right away, of course, but he does when Peter calls out his name.

“Do I know you?” Stephen grunts, narrowing his ice blue eyes. Peter smiles warily.

“Have you seen Tony?” He asks, chewing on his bottom lip.

“No,” Stephen replies, a sour look on his face. He takes a sip of his beer. “You too, huh?”

Peter feels his stomach lurch.

“I-I don’t know. I guess I’ll go now,” He mutters. Stephen raises his hand.

“Try looking somewhere else. ‘02. Mid 70’s. Good luck.”

Come on, vogue

Let your body move to the music (move to the music)

Hey, hey, hey

Come on, vogue

Let your body go with the flow (go with the flow)

You know you can do it

***

One Week Later- 1978

“Holy smokes, you are so good at this!”

Peter smiles and jiggles the joystick of the Space Invaders machine. The girl, Betty, is leaning over his shoulder, watching the screen intently. He’s nearly at 2000 points, but with one rogue alien his last life is taken. He throws his head back and groans. Betty shrieks and grabs Peter’s shoulders.

“Come on Pete, let’s go dance! ABBA is my absolute favorite,” She giggles, spinning Peter around. The brunette opens his mouth to respond, but he spots who’s standing at the Asteroids machine.

“Um, I actually-I’m sorry Betty. There’s someone I need to talk to. I’ll see you around?” Peter stutters, and the blonde’s face falls flat.

“Okay. Maybe 2005?”

Peter smiles and Betty rushes off.

“Tony. I know you know I’m here,” Peter says once it’s just him and Tony in the arcade corner. The game makes a sad beep as he slams on the machine. Peter flinches. “Talk to me. Why are you avoiding me?”

Tony turns around, arms crossed.

“Calm down.” He grunts, avoiding Peter’s gaze.

“Tony! Why?” Peter pleads, taking a step closer to the other man. Tony awkwardly shifts on his feet.

“I need change,” He explains; his face stony.

“Change my ass!” Peter nearly shouts. He doesn’t want to draw attention to himself, but it’s hard not to. “You’re hiding from me.”

“I don’t owe you shit , Peter.” Tony growls, finally snapping. Peter flinches in surprise. His tone makes the younger’s throat tighten.

“Now leave me alone,” Tony grumbles, running off into the crowd. Peter’s stomach drops to his toes, but he rushes after Tony. He keeps the man’s dark hair in view as he pushes past patron after patron, tears pricking the corners of his eyes as he reaches the front door.

“Tony!” Peter cries once both of them are outside. He runs forward and grabs Tony’s thin wrist.

“Peter, stop it,” Tony says softly, resting his hand on Peter’s bicep. “I’m not here to fall in love.”

“Then what are you here for?” Peter asks, placing his free hand on Tony’s chest. “Why are you trying to fuckin’ fight this?”

“Because I’m not staying here,” Tony explains. “Once I’m gone, I’m gone. Screw this place. I like you, Peter. I really do. But this place-“ He looks around at the buildings on the street. “It’s not fair. Morgan-my daughter, my babygirl-she didn’t get this. It was cancer. She was 30. And my husband didn’t want this either. He was the light of my life, you know. A big blonde oaf. It wasn’t fair to take something Morgan didn’t have. So why should I?”

Peter’s breath catches in his throat.

“Oh Tony,” He mutters, and without thinking, he presses his lips to the other’s. Tony kisses back immediately, slipping his hand onto Peter’s cheek. The smaller man leans into Tony’s touch. Suddenly, a soft beep emerges from between them.

“Fuck,” Tony utters once they pull apart, lips slick and shiny with spit. “There’s 3 minutes until midnight.”

Peter doesn’t respond.

“Okay, um, next week. Meet me at the Quagmire,” Tony says hurriedly. Peter looks at him, confused. “It’s a club. Well, sort of. Just ask around and you’ll find it. How about 1987?”

“Yeah,” Peter whispers, “See you then.”

***

Next Week- 1987

In the middle of nowhere sits the broken down building of the Quagmire. The rows of motorcycles and smoke billowing out of the club tell him all he needs to know about the place. He quickly changes his outfit (one of the technological perks of San Junipero) to a more fitting look: a loose red t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and good old-fashioned Doc Martens. He feels awkward; he’s dressed like the guys he used to jack off to.

His boots crunch on the gravel as he walks up to the front doors, which are swung wide open. He can hear the faint thump of the music from above, as the only thing on the first floor is a staircase and a man slumped in the corner. Peter grimaces, and without touching the handrail, he walks up the stairs. The music gets louder and the smell of weed gets more potent. There’s a few people mulling around in the hallway leading to the main room. A guy with black-rimmed eyes blows smoke up into the air and a girl with a fucking snake around her shoulders winks at him. He gives her a weak smile and steps into the crowd.

There’s cages hanging from the ceiling with pierced girls in them and everyone’s in leather. It feels like the place Harry would always try to get him to go to back when they were in college.

He never went.

Instead of dancing, the people around him are grinding and kissing each other. It’s awkward and Peter’s too caught up in the mess of people to focus on where’s he going; he runs into a very hard body.

“Woah there, sugar,” The man purrs as Peter stumbles backward. He opens his mouth to respond, but no sound comes out. The man is gorgeous, with a perfect smile, sharp jaw, scruffy beard, and loose strands of long brown hair that frame his pretty face.

“I’m so sorry,” Peter stammers, feeling trapped in the low light of the club. The man laughs and claps him on the shoulder.

“Don’t sweat it, kid,” He grumbles, taking a swig of his beer.

“Pete!”

Peter jumps and whips his head around, catching an eyeful of a grinning Tony. His steps are wobbly as  he walks over to Peter, slinging his arm around the younger’s shoulders. Peter can smell alcohol on Tony’s breath, hinting that he’s turned his pain meter down, leaving him vulnerable to the effects of liquor.

“Is this your new boy toy, Stark?” The man opposite them drawls. His comment makes Peter flush.

“Shut the hell up, Barnes,” Tony laughs, pulling Peter closer to his side. “I take it you met my friend ?”

Peter won’t lie, the word stings. But no one seems to notice, because Barnes just scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“I did not, mind you,” He says before turning to Peter. “I’m Bucky. What’s your name, doll?”

Peter preens at the pet name.

“Peter,” He replies, his hand gently brushing against Tony’s jeans. He feels good like this, he feels like they look good together . “It’s my first time here-fifth time in San Junipero.”

Bucky nods with a soft ‘ah.’

“I see you’ve already gotten caught up with Anthony. Can’t blame you, honestly. He’s a real catch,” He drawls, tucking his free hand into his back pocket. “Well, I’ll leave you alone. My husband’s lookin’ for me.”

Bucky disappears into he crowd.

“Finally, some alone time,” Tony groans, nudging Peter’s chestnut curls with his nose.

“Alone? You think this is alone?” Peter scoffs, pressing his cheek to Tony’s leather jacket. “We’re packed between people right now.”

Tony laughs loud enough that Peter can hear him clearly over the pounding rock music.

“Let’s dance, baby!” He shouts, ignoring the question. Peter giggles and lets Tony shove people out of the way to get on the dance floor. He wraps his arms around Peter’s torso and tucks his face in the crook of the younger’s neck. Peter’s breath hitches as Tony nips at the skin of his neck.

“You’re a good dancer,” He slurs, jerking his hips against Peter’s ass. The brunette’s face is on fire as Tony sways him back and forth to the beat of the music. Peter can feel himself start to chub up in his jeans, much to his embarrassment.

��� Tony ,” He groans, but he doesn’t think he can be heard over the music. Tony continues to rock his crotch against his backside, muttering sweet nothings into his ear. Peter can feel how hard the older man is, and his blood boils at the fact that he did this to him. They stay there for a while, swaying and grinding on each other. The rest of the room becomes a blur as they stand there, intertwined.

“Come to the bathroom with me,” Tony mutters in Peter’s ear; his fingers grazing over the heated skin of the younger’s stomach. “I want your mouth on me.”

A pathetic whine escapes Peter’s lips, and he nods. Tony swerves him around the metalhead party-goers and into a poorly-lit hallway. A couple is making out against the peeling wall,  and Peter keeps his eyes down as Tony leads him into the men’s bathroom.

“Holy shit, I’m so fuckin’ hard,” Tony grunts, fumbling with the handle of one of the stalls. The door swings open with a clang, and Tony ushers him into the stall. Without being prompted, Peter falls to his knees and squeezes Tony’s bulge through his jeans. The older man’s eyes flutter shut and he sighs softly. With nimble fingers, Peter undoes the metal of his belt and tucks his cock out of his jeans. It’s rock hard already, flushed red and leaking. Tentatively, Peter flicks his tongue over the head of his cock. Tony groans, tangling his fingers through Peter’s curls. The younger boy slips his lips around the head, using his tongue to massage under it. A litany of curses falls from Tony’s lips as Peter takes more of his member into his mouth. The stretch makes Peter’s dick jump in his jeans. A spurt of precum leaks onto his tongue, the salty taste making his stomach churn. Peter reaches up and cups Tony’s heavy balls in the palm of his hand. He shouts and yanks Peter’s hair, giving the boy more encouragement to keep sucking. He can’t go too deep, he hasn’t done this much before, but he makes up his lack of experience with enthusiasm. As he lavishes Tony’s cock, the sound of the bathroom door opening makes him freeze.

Tony bites his fist as he cums in Peter’s mouth.

Peter swallows all his release as quietly as he can, tucking the man’s cock back into his boxers and pulling up his jeans. Tony’s chest heaves as he comes down from the high of his climax. Peter’s still unbelievably hard, and he stands up on shaky legs. Tony pulls the boy into his arms and slips his thigh between his legs. Peter moans into Tony’s shirt at the pressure against his crotch.

“Hump my thigh,” Tony growls into Peter’s ear as the other patron flushes the toilet. Peter whines and curls the older man’s shirt in his hands. He does as he’s told, desperately grinding down onto Tony. With his soft words of encouragement, Peter cums in his pants.

“ Tony ,” The brunette cries once the other man leaves the restroom, resting his head against Tony’s chest.

He strokes Peter’s curls and presses a kiss to his cheek.

“I’m so fuckin’ stupid,” Tony grumbles. “You’re gorgeous. And right here in front of me.”

Peter looks up at Tony, confused.

“You’re babbling, handsome,” He mutters, reaching upwards and tracing Tony’s lips with his finger.

“Let me see you,” Tony grumbles, resting his hands on Peter’s hips. “Let me see you in person.”

Peter’s heart skips a beat.

“You could live across the country,” He says softly, running his thumb over the bit of stubble that graces Tony’s cheek.

“But I don’t. You’re Peter Parker and you live in Arcata. I’m in San Fransisco. It’s only a four hour drive.”

“That should be creepy but it’s kind of hot,” Peter mumbles, grazing his lips against Tony’s. “But why?”

“Just let me see you,” Tony pleads, resting his forehead against Peter’s. “Everything-it’s tearing me up inside.”

Peter smiles and bumps his nose against Tony’s.

***

Next Monday -Present Day- 2045

Peter’s room is submerged in darkness, like usual. His legs still ache, but the sharp pain in his ribs has shown up again. He should tell Miss Williams once she comes for his three o’clock checkup. But he’ll have to wait throughout visitation hours, because he needs all the rest he can get. Recently, he’s been way more tired and worn down than usual.

“Peter? Are you awake?”

The man sits up in his bed slowly, rubbing his eyes with his palms. The door to his room is cracked open, and Miss Williams has her head poked inside.

“Yeah,” Peter croaks. “M’awake.”

The lights to his room turn on and Miss Williams opens the door all the way.

“You have a visitor.”

Miss Williams enters his room, a pretty red-head following her and helping a frail old man into the room.

“ Tony? ” Peter whispers as Miss Williams closes the door. Tony smiles, the wrinkles on his face deepening. Peter’s mouth stays parted in awe as the redhead helps Tony over to the chair next to his bed.

“Hi, pumpkin,” The old man says softly, taking Peter’s left hand in his own. His hands are warm and soft and thin, with callouses on every fingertip. “You’re so beautiful.”

Peter looks down at their intertwined hands bashfully. Tony raises Peter’s hand to his lips, and presses a kiss to his pale skin.

“I can stomach your face,” Peter quips; Tony rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Just kidding. You’re a stud.”

They both erupt in a fit of giggles. Peter’s sides hurt, in a good way, for the first time in months.

“Hospice?” Tony asks once they catch their breath, his tone serious. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Miss Williams and the redhead’s conversation awkwardly falls flat. Peter traces one of the small scars on Tony’s left hand with the tip of his finger.

“I didn’t think it mattered,” Peter mumbles, continuing to avoid Tony’s heavy gaze. “It’s not like we’re going to be seeing each other for much longer.”

Tony flinches at the blow his words deliver. Ever so slightly, he squeezes Peter’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” Tony utters, his voice so quiet it’s barely audible. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Apologizing isn’t going to do much,” Peter chimes, a single tear threatening to slip from his eye. “Not unless you stay.”

“Oh you, there’s no use in crying,” Miss Williams cuts in, grabbing a box of tissues from the small cluster of cabinets in the corner of the room. Peter takes them, taking one tissue out and batting his eyes. “I think you two need to seriously talk. Miss Potts and I will leave you alone.”

Peter gives the two nurses a weak smile as they leave his room.

“I went through all the letters he’s ever written me. Steve-my husband- he really hated the technology,” Tony explains. “I just feel so terrible. I love you Peter, I do, but it’s a disservice to him.”

Peter sucks in a deep breath.

“You love me?” He asks, voice hoarse.

“I’d be crazy if I didn’t,” Tony laughs, stroking the knobby bone of Peter’s wrist. “I’d be so fucking bonkers.”

Peter rolls his big doe eyes, the tips of his eyelashes tickling his eyelids.

“I think you’re already crazy. I think that’s what makes you so charming.”

Tony shakes his head as Peter gives him a kiss on the cheek.

“I think that’s why I’m so in love with you.

***

That Saturday-1992

The glass back door of Tony’s house slides open with a soft ‘woosh’. The wind blowing from the ocean makes goosebumps appear on Peter’s arms, and he pulls his flannel closer to his body. In the distance, the flames of the campfire lick up at the night sky.

Oh, and Tony’s waving his arms like an idiot.

“Peter!” He shouts as loud as he can. “Over here!”

Peter laughs and shakes his head before taking off over the sand, letting the wind rush past him. It’s oddly exhilarating, but he comes to a stop once he reaches Tony and his little camp area.

“My baby,” Tony purrs, wrapping his arms around Peter’s torso and spinning him around. Peter shrieks happily and grips onto Tony’s neck for support. The older man puts him down and immediately presses his lips to Peter’s. Like the roaring fire, Tony’s touch warms him to the core.

“What’s all this?” Peter asks quietly, eyeing the plaid blanket lain on the sand, the wicker basket that holds a bottle of wine, and the bouquet of roses.

“Since we’ve never had a proper date,” Tony explains, brushing a stray curl out of Peter’s eyes. “I thought I’d treat you tonight.”

Tony pulls Peter to the blanket, and the brunette sits down happily. He pushes his bare toes into the sand as Tony sits down next to him. He hands Peter a wine glass and takes one for himself, pouring the red liquid in both.

“And before you ask,” Tony says as he raises his glass to his lips. “My pain meter’s all the way up.”

Peter scoffs and takes a sip of his wine. He’s never been a huge fan of wine, but this-it’s good. His eyes wander to Tony’s face, and he takes a second studying the curves of the man. The point of his nose, the line of his jaw, the pout of his lips.

“Tony?” Peter asks, breaking the silence. The man responds with a soft ‘hm?’

“I died last night.”

Tony doesn’t respond; he just looks up at the stars. Then he turns his head to Peter, and smiles.

“I’m just glad you’re not in pain anymore.”

The tension, that Peter didn’t even realize was there, leaves his body. He rests his head on the older man’s shoulder, his cheek pressed to the softness of Tony’s sweatshirt.

“I’ve been looking for a nice place to live,” Peter rambles, his glass of wine forgotten. “They really have everything here.”

Peter slips two fingers in one of the rips on Tony’s jeans.

“Stay here,” Tony says softly. “This is practically your home now.”

The crashing of the waves echoes in his ears.

“It’s not home without you. It’ll never be home without you here with me.”

Under the moonlight, Tony smiles sadly.

***

Three Months Later-1987

It’s Wednesday when he finds him.

Peter’s browsing the shelves of Paige’s Bookstore, sipping on the rest of his leftover iced tea from lunch. The small shop has been one of Peter’s favorite places since he’s passed over. It’s in a quieter, smaller part of town, and it overlooks the sea perfectly.

Peter’s fingers stop on the spine of a copy of The Picture of Dorian Grey when the bell to the front door chimes softly. The brunette doesn’t pay any attention, and keeps browsing, until he hears the voice of the new customer.

“Good afternoon! Do you sell books here?”

Peter’s heart drops to his toes. He peers around one of the shelves to peek at the front door and-

It’s Tony.

“Tony!” Peter exclaims, failing to contain his excitement. Tony’s egotistical facade drops, and he stands there in awe. Peter, as carefully he can, rushes across the small room, and leaps into Tony’s arms. It feels so good to be back in his arms, encased by warmth and love. Tony presses kiss after kiss onto Peter’s cheeks.

Edith, the owner of the shop, coos at the two of them.

Peter may have spilt his guts to the woman the first time he met her.

“You came,” The younger cries, bubbling with glee. “You actually took the tech.”

Tony laughs and cups both of Peter’s cheeks in his hands.

“I would’ve been a fool if I didn’t,” He mutters, kissing Peter once more.

“Okay lovebirds, if you’re not going to buy anything, get out of my shop.”

Edith has never been the nicest lady.

Peter giggles, though, and bids the woman goodbye as Tony pulls him out of the shop and into the sun. He takes his sunglasses out of his pocket and slips them onto the bridge of his nose.

“I love you,” Peter sings, leaning forward to kiss Tony, but landing on his cheek. “I love you, Tony Stark.”

Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?

Ooh, heaven is a place on earth

They say in heaven, love comes first

We'll make heaven a place on earth

Ooh, heaven is a place on earth

Wind in his hair, salt on his lips, and a smile on his face . Tony presses down on the gas, shouting as they fly down one of the backroads of the city. Peter throws his head back and laughs; his sunglasses almost escaping his grasp.

When the night falls down

I wait for you and you come around

And the world's alive with the sound

Of kids on the street outside

“I love you, Peter Parker!” Tony shouts over the wind, honking the horn twice.

When you walk into the room

You pull me close and we start to move

And we're spinning with the stars above

And you lift me up in a wave of love

Tony slows when he reaches a dead end, leaving them atop a small hill. He shuts the car off and sighs, reaching over to squeeze Peter’s thigh.

Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?

Ooh, heaven is a place on earth

They say in heaven love comes first

We'll make heaven a place on earth

Ooh, heaven is a place on earth

Leaving over the dashboard, Tony hungrily kisses Peter on the lips. As the sit there making out, under the sun, with the breeze from the ocean, Peter can only think:

They’re going to be just fine.

The End.

[ofmythsandmadness]

just a few more minutes.

“just - just hold on a few more minutes. okay? okay? please.” PAIRING - Diego Hargreeves/Reader. WORD COUNT - 2316. WARNING - angst. just a tonne of angst. curse words used a-plenty, too. A/N - I was planning on writing something happy because it’s the holiday season, but then i wrote this and just...kept writing...and here were are. i suppose i’m sorry.

THE STREETS WERE MOSTLY EMPTY, save for a few stragglers here and there. But those who were out, were rushing about on their way home, eager to avoid the creepy gloom of the night and get into the warm indoors. They avoided eye contact and kept themselves closed off, just looking for their final destination where they would be safe.

It seemed like there was only one person who did not share that mindset, that night. Her speed was almost the opposite of the others. It was leisurely and slow, an air of calm about her despite the very pronounced limp the woman walked with. Still, despite the limitation, she walked with ease and confidence and did not even bother to bat an eyelash in anyone’s direction. She was formidable.

Or, so it appeared. Inside, the woman’s brain felt like it was on fire. Nay, actually?

She was ninety-five percent sure it was actually on fucking fire, just like the rest of her body.

“Holy shit,” she hissed to herself. Biting back a groan at every movement, she limped forward, begging for just a little more strength to get her there. But her leg just dragged painfully on the pavement, twisted awkwardly as though it was not made for her body. The work of pulling herself with only half the strength she normally had was taxing, a trial she almost doubted she could pass.

But finally, she had managed to limp her way to the payphone booth - which at least was empty. Maybe the universe did not hate her too, too much.

The woman slammed the glass door shut behind her and let her weight crash against it, only to barely remain standing. With a shaking hand, she found a bloody quarter within her jean pocket and jammed it into the machine, punching at the numbers with the same trembling ferocity. Everything was done fast and hard, forcing herself to move despite the flood of torment in her thigh, trying to drag her down. She knew her strength was running out, and fast - but she would be damned if she went down easily.

Every ring was torture, taunting her - like it already knew she was too screwed, and found it absolutely hilarious. The phone rang and rang, only to never be picked up. The woman groaned, slamming her bloody fist against the booth over and over, the only reaction she allowed herself to have. Not that that did much with her lack of strength; all that was left was a smear of red stained against the glass.

She swore under her shallow breath and searched her pockets once more. She found her last quarter and shoved it in the slot, once more typing out the gym’s number. As the laughing phone tone began, singing her dying fate out into the tiny glass booth, she bit back her screams, ripping at her broken fingernails in an attempt to hold back her reactions to the pain. If she actually had to die in that goddamn phone booth, alone and bleeding out from such a stupid wound? Oh, Diego would -

“-’Ey, what do you want?” rasped from the other end. Not the voice she had been expecting - this person was harsh and cold, with a thick accent to boot. “We’re closed.”

“Is Diego uh, Hargreeves there?”

“We’re closed, lady.”

She sighed, gritting her teeth as a new wave of pain shot through her body. “Yeah. Got that loud and clear the first time, but trust me, I’m not here to sign up for a fucking membership. I need Diego.”

The man on the other end sounded suspicious, unsure just what his employer could be up to that time. Which, to be sure, he might have a right to be worried, considering just who Diego was. If she was not bleeding to death alone in a phone booth, she might even have sympathy.

But she was, and she did not. 

“What for?”

“I just need him.”

“-listen, lady-”

“-my water just broke,” she sobbed, half in theatrics and half because the pain really was a bitch. She grimaced at the lie choice, but oh well; not like she was really up to being more creative. Her wound seemed to be inhibiting her ability to think of intelligent excuses for-

“-excuse me?!”

Right. Right, that. “M-my water just broke,” she repeated, attempting to sound more upset about it. “And, and I’m scared, and I just - I can’t have my baby born without its daddy there, right? I mean, what kind of mother would I be if I raise our baby boy without him? Yes we’ve not gotten along but he’s his dad, he needs that fatherly support and dammit, I need him here, too! He can’t just escape this-”

-just as she was sure her long winded spiel was reaching an unfortunate end, the man on the phone cut her off. “I’m going to get him, okay? I’m going.”

“Thank you so much, I-” she stopped once she knew he had actually left, knowing there was no point in talking to silence. She adjusted her position, sliding further down the glass with a whimper. It was getting worse, and the quiet was not helping. Honestly, dying in a tiny clear box with no one around to help her or even watch her bite the dust was not how she was planning this to go. Frankly, it felt a little embarrassing.

Her leg threatened to buckle, and she had to brace herself to remain standing. A lone tear dripped down; it gleamed silver in the artificial light. It was getting worse by the second. Time, for her, was running out very quickly.

“Who the hell is this?”

She brushed away a stray tear and straightened her back, a relieved smile licking her lips.  “Diego? That you?”

“Y/N?” He asked back, incredulous. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I had to get a hold of you.”

“And telling my boss that you were going into labour, with my kid? Jesus, I work for him, you know?”

Despite the pain, Y/N grinned even wider. Maybe she was just entering that stage of doom where everything was more sentimental than it really was, but for some reason his grumpiness kind of just -

“Hello? Y/N?!”

She adjusted herself once more, only to silently wince as more pain shot through her frame. “Shit - uh, well, I needed a way to talk to you.”

“And that was the best shot?”

Ironic word choice. Unfortunately without intention.

“I needed to talk to you, dude - and it’s not like I can tell that guy I got shot, yeah? That’d be a little weird.”

For a moment in time, it was silent on the other end, leaving Y/N unsure what had happened or if he had left. Just as she was about to give up, however, he spoke.

“You got shot?”

She hissed, half in pain and half in guilty realisation - that was not the way she had meant to tell him. Shit. “Look, I-”

“-what happened? Where are you? Holy shit, are you okay?!”

“Long story. And I’m, I’m in a phone booth right now, admiring the city lights. It’s really pretty out here, you-” pause; hiss; the pain was eating her alive. “-know?”

Diego ignored her joke. “Where are you, Y/N?” There was a tightness to his voice, a concern that rarely arose between them. If it was not such a shitty situation, maybe she might let herself think more into it than she should. 

“I’m…” she hesitated, lifting her gaze to search around her. Her head spun - what did it say if she was already feeling light-headed? Probably nothing good. “I’m on the corner of Gladstone. Probably near Griddy’s, I think…”

“Shit. Shit! Okay.” He paused, seemingly thinking, before speaking again. “I’m coming. Don’t move, okay? It’ll just b-b-be a few minutes.”

She laughed dryly. “Don’t worry, I don’t think I can.”

He cursed again, under his breath. “How bad is it?”

“Um…” She was far from an expert on bullet wounds, but it certainly looked bad. And judging from all the other symptoms going on, the sense of imminent doom and what not? Well, she doubted her life had much left to it. 

But she could not bring herself to admit that to him. And so, she smiled, even while knowing he could not see her, and just shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m okay right now. I did the pressure thing you taught me? So I should be fine. It’s a leg wound, so like, I’m livin’ peachy.”

That was a brutal lie. But she could not worry him more. 

“I’m on my way. I promise. Stay there, stay safe. Remember pressure, and, uh - j-just stay there, okay?”

“Okay,” she mumbled, grimacing through the dizziness. “I’m...I’m sorry, Diego.”

“What? No. Y-y-you’re fine. I’m coming, stay there.”

“I’m sorry...I…” the words lingered on her tongue, sweet and sad, a whispered promise she just wanted to share. But she swallowed them back instead of letting them slip out. “Okay. I’ll be here.”

He hung up without a goodbye, just another order to stay put and wait just a few more minutes.

She half smiled at that. If only he knew, ‘a few more minutes’ might be enough time for the gods to write up her death sentence.

Once she knew he was gone, she let go of the phone and just let herself fall to the ground. She huffed and hissed through the pain, pressing into the wound and letting her fingers turn even redder. Her eyes fell to it, tracing the shape over and over again until it was ingrained in her mind.

She knew very little about gunshots, but at least she knew enough to know it was not looking good for her. The shot was bad and looked pretty deep, and the fact that it was still bleeding so much was not great either. She did not know how much blood a body could stand to lose but it probably was not a lot more than what was already shed. And, weren’t there important arteries in the thigh? She cursed. Oh, why oh why couldn’t she remember what Diego had told her before?

Her head fell back against the glass. A tear slipped down, followed by another, creating twin silver streams that glittered in the light. She could not even get up, probably could not even stand if she wanted to. Truly, it was a pathetic sight. Dying alone in a phone booth as the few pedestrians ignored her failing breaths? She had always pictured a better death than this. 

Sure, considering how many stupid things she did in a day death was always around the corner, but it was not like she was considering that a whole lot. She thought she might just live forever - or long enough to have a better life. A better job, more friends, a family she could call her own. But she was dying fucking alone with none of that to her name. With the only person in her life she truly cared for on his way to find her dead body. And she did not even have the chance to mumble some cute last words or anything. Her last words would be ‘I’ll be here’.

“Bullshit,” she mumbled, the sound deafening in the silence. “Bull...shit!” Her fists weakly pounded against the glass, pressing bloody shapes into the booth. Without much strength, they made little noise.

Maybe this was what she deserved. Was this the doing of the fates up above? Deciding she had done enough, that they had to hit her with enough karma to kill her good and dead? She had no clue. But it certainly felt like that.

She let her eyelids slip down, coating her in darkness once more. It was too hard to hold them up, too heavy - and she was getting too tired to fight anymore. A part of her knew that staying awake was probably the only option she had for survival, just then, but her exhaustion was quickly winning against her resolve. She was just so tired…

At least she would go out knowing she had done a good thing, she mused. All she could hope was that the girl rescued was safe, hopefully at home with a good family, a loving partner maybe? Asleep at that point, not thinking about the one who had taken the bullet meant for her heart. She got another chance at life. Maybe that was what mattered in the end.

The woman sucked in another breath, finding it harder and harder to fill her lungs. She huddled closer to the glass, pressing her shivering figure against it. Gone was the confidence, the wise-cracking and calm exterior; she had been reduced to a small, trembling figure seeking a second breath from fates who refused to give it to her. Nothing more than a number, another nobody dead when no one cared.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, coughing through the words. Her mouth filled with a strange taste, metallic and thick. She had to spit it out, and when her eyes opened just for a moment, she could barely see the blood dribbling from her mouth to her paling fingers. The woman sobbed, shaking as the cries rocked her fragile body. Tears dripped along with blood from her lips and stained her face, mixing to be a gruesome sight. A sorrowful one.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried, choking through every syllable. “Dammit...I’m so sorry…” 

No one heard her, but maybe she did not even care. Or maybe she did not know that, and truly thought he was right there listening to her pitiful cries. Like he could hear her apologies, her admittance of love, her begging for life in that tiny glass box. Like maybe she still had some hope.

Her hand fell limp and her head did too, lolled against the cold glass. Her eyes remained open just for a moment, staring blankly forward without seeing much at all before she had to let the lids close. Her body stopped shaking, and her breathing grew quieter. The tears stopped falling, though their silvery remnants remained etched into her skin. She was silent, with her last words to no one hanging over her head - an apology, and a sad, small confession of love to the man who she would never see again.

It only took ten more minutes for Diego to show up. But it would be too late. She was a fallen figure, pressed against the glass box, unmoving. No amount of begging, of shaking, of pounding against the phone booth and screaming at the universe for doing this to him, would make a difference. He did all he could, pressing against her heart to force it to beat, pressing breaths against her bloody lips and begging them to take the air into her body - but in the end, his hands were covered in her blood and despair hung deep on his face.

Diego ran his hand down his face, ignoring the red staining his weathered fingers, and sobbed. His attempts were useless. Nothing could be done.

She was already dead.

[myhockeyworld87]

Choices - Tyler Seguin/Jamie Benn - Part 5

Word Count: 2086

POV: Starts with Tyler/Ends with Reader

Warnings: Talk to miscarriage, language

Notes: Ok here is the next installment with the choice that you guys picked. You have 48 hours to vote (Friday at 3pm). For all the US readers, I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy the Black Friday shopping! Peace, Love and Hugs all!

TYLER’S POV

 As you waited patiently for (Y/N) to answer your questions, your mind began to wander. You could picture it clearly, a tiny little girl. She’d have your soft brunette curls atop her head, but (Y/N)’s eyes and nose; and definitely (Y/N)’s smile. Your little girl would be just over a year-old right now. Part of you realized you missed a lot of firsts, the first time she rolled over, her first steps, her first words; vaguely, you wondered if she could say daddy, if not, it would be something you could teach her. Spoiling her rotten would be high on your list of things to do. She was going to be your little princess, and there was nothing in this world she couldn’t have.

 Then again, it could be a little boy. He’d have your devilish grin; but (Y/N)’s amazingly sweet personality. He’d probably love the dogs; they’d be his best friends. You could already see him, waddling after Gerry outside; the two of them playing in a mud puddle. You couldn’t wait to teach him how to skate, a little hockey stick in his hand, as he toddled around the living room. No matter if it was a boy or a girl you’d love them with all your heart. This was a life that you and (Y/N) created together, and you couldn’t wait to start being a family.

 (Y/N) still had a blank stare in her eyes. Of course you were somewhat upset that she hadn’t told you about the baby; but you weren’t going to blame her. What mattered now, was that you were here, and so were she and the baby; and now you could all be a family. Though you knew Jamie would be hurt, by (Y/N) being with you; he’d eventually move on and find someone else, who he could start a family with.

 All this waiting was getting to you. You had to know more about your child. “(Y/N), where’s the baby? Can we go see them now?”

 Jamie squeezed her hand, which you found odd. (Y/N) opened her mouth, yet no words came out. Finally after a few attempts, she said; “Tyler, I lost the baby.” What did she mean by that? Like she didn’t know where the baby was. You assumed your face must have given you away for the next thing that came out of her mouth was. “I had a miscarriage.”

 The reality of her words hit you like a ton of bricks. All those dreams and images that were in your mind, were just wiped away. It was like being blindsided and slammed into the boards so hard, that you weren’t sure you were going to get up from the hit. Physically you staggered back a bit before saying. “When? How? Why didn’t you tell me?”

 “I did tell you.” Had she, you didn’t remember; but after that night you hadn’t taken a pain pill or had a drink until you spoke to her. “You called me…like what a hundred times? When I finally answered; I told you then.”

 You tried to get your mind to focus on that first conversation with (Y/N). It was somewhat hazy, but you remember her saying ‘I lost it’ several times. “Wait…is that what you were trying to tell me when you said ‘I lost it?’” Tears were streaming down her face now, she must be recalling that day. “I thought you meant lost it when you saw the video and the photo. I never thought that you meant you lost the baby, because I didn’t remember you telling me about it.” God, you had been so obliterated that night. “Jesus…no wonder you hate me.”

 “Tyler, I don’t hate you.”

 This was too much, you couldn’t take it. The high of thinking you had a baby with (Y/N); had just been crushed by the knowledge that you were the one to make (Y/N) lose your baby. “Fuck, I hate myself right now. How can you not?” The pain you were experiencing right now was making it hard to breathe. You had to get out of here. Stumbling out of the room, you ran as soon as you could find the front door; slightly aware of a voice calling your name.

  READER’S POV

 The hurt in Tyler’s eyes, mirrored your own. When you told him that you had a miscarriage; it was like reliving it all over again. It hadn’t happened immediately, it was well after you saw the photos of Tyler. The next afternoon, you’d been an emotional train wreck, crying at the drop of a hat. Part of you didn’t want to believe it was true, but then you’d look at the post again and you couldn’t escape the reality of it. Finally, you’d thrown your phone across the room; angry at the object that brought you such despair. It was in that moment that the pain hit. You doubled over with cramping so bad you fell to the ground. That’s when you saw the blood, it seemed to be everywhere, and you had no idea what to do. Slowly, you crawled over to where your phone had landed and called for an ambulance. Once you were in the emergency room, they brought over the ultra-sound machine and were unable to find the heartbeat. Though you’d been crying the whole time, the flood gates opened when the doctor confirmed you’d lost the baby.

 When the bleeding wouldn’t subside, they took you into surgery for a DNC. The whole thing felt so cold and robotic. This was your baby and they were literally scraping the remains out of you. You remember calling your friend Jenna afterward; you hadn’t told your parents yet and didn’t want them to know after what had happened with Tyler. Jenna had stayed with you the whole time, holding your hand, hugging you and just letting you cry for hours on end. You immediately blamed yourself, even when the doctor told you it wasn’t your fault; for how could it not be when you were so upset, that you’d literally forgotten about your child and now you were paying the consequences.

 Eventually Jenna convinced you to answer Tyler’s phone call and at least let him know what happened to the baby. He’d begged you to forgive him, before you could even say a word. You’d told him to ‘stop,’ that you didn’t want to hear it. Then you repeated over and over again, that you’d lost it. Now that you knew the truth and he never even knew you were pregnant; you can see how he didn’t understand. In your anger, both with yourself and him; you’d told him to go to hell. There was too much grief then to think clearly. Now you knew, that it was neither your fault nor Tyler’s. You’d come to terms that your miscarriage was out of your hands.

 You could see the emotions playing across Tyler’s face. There was joy at first, in the knowledge you two had a baby. Quickly replaced by hurt and sadness, when he found out the baby had died. Lastly there was the guilt, that overwhelming emotion that sent you spiraling out of control, was now taking over him. You didn’t hate him; you’d been long past that. When he staggered out of the room, every instinct in you wanted to follow him; and so you tried, only to be stopped by Jamie’s hand, which you totally forgot you’d been holding. It only registered in your brain when you found yourself calling out Tyler’s name. Absentmindedly you looked at Jamie, no words came out of your mouth; yet you heard him say, “Go, you both need this.” With one last squeeze of your hand, he let you go after Tyler.

 As soon as you were out of the bedroom you ran through the front door, thinking Tyler would be there; he wasn’t. You saw his figure running down the street. “Tyler!” He kept going, all the way to the end of the street, where he took a right. Where the hell was he headed? You ran down the street after him; yelling once more, “Tyler!” Finally, you reached the end of the street, he was close to the quaint bridge you and Jamie would walk across. Lungs burning with your effort to catch him, you tried one last time. “Ty! Stop! Please!” You’re not sure what made him stop, the pleading sound in your voice or the fact that you called him Ty. He turned then and saw you coming; so, you slowed your pace.

 By the time you reached him, your breathing was labored and so was his. “Why did you follow me?”

 “Ty, you shouldn’t be alone right now.” You sucked in a huge gulp of air, while looking at him. The guilt he was going through was written all over him. “It’s not your fault.”

 “How the fuck can you say that? Of course, it’s my fault. If I hadn’t been so fucking stupid that night, we’d have our child here right now.” Tears were rolling down both of your faces. “I caused you to lose our baby! Can’t you see that?”

 He turned away from you and you grabbed his hand to stop him. “Ty, stop! Just stop it right now. This isn’t your fault.” It felt like the tenth time that you said that to him, but it was the truth. “It wasn’t mine either. These things happen. It wasn’t until later that I found out why.”

 “If you hadn’t seen that video or those photos; you’d never have been upset. If I hadn’t taken those pills.” He began to sob. It was like he hadn’t heard a word you said.

 Without thinking you wrapped your arms around him hugging him as tightly as you could. “I know Ty. I know.” You cried with him; for how long, you didn’t know. Finally, you started to tell him what had happened. “I wish things were different. I blamed myself at first; thinking that if I’d put the baby first, instead of myself things would’ve been different. When I was finally able to talk to the doctor without being distraught, he told me what happened.”

 He pulled back from your embrace slightly, though still had his arms around you. “What do you mean? What happened (Y/N)?”

 “When he went in to do the DNC.” He looked at you not understanding the term. It was difficult enough to think about, let alone try and describe to someone; but you took a deep breath and tried. “That’s a surgical procedure they do, to…take the remains of the baby out.” More tears flooded both your eyes. It wasn’t an experience you wanted to relive. “Anyhow.” You let out a deep sigh. “While they were doing the procedure, they noticed my uterus was an abnormal shape. Apparently, that’s what caused me to miscarry. A few months later, I went in and had surgery to fix it; so, hopefully my next pregnancy won’t result the same way.” He was still looking at you, as if he was the reason this all happened. “Tyler, don’t you see. I more than likely I would’ve lost the baby anyhow. It was just bad timing.”

 His hand moved to your face, wiping away the tears that you’d shed. You did the same for him. “I’m so sorry baby. You had to go through this whole thing alone. You shouldn’t have been alone. I should’ve been there.” You leaned your head into the palm of his hand, even through all your anger; you’d still wanted him to be by your side, when it all happened. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.” A fat drop of rain hit your face, and soon the sky opened up pouring down on the two of you. It was washing away all your sins of the past; and now the two of you could finally breathe again. It was giving you a fresh start. His eyes locked with yours, and all the love you’d shared came flooding back. He leaned closer to you; lips parted as he had so many times before.

 Time to choose. There aren’t many options here but still this choice could be pivotal.

 A)     Let Tyler kiss you.

B)      Stop Tyler before he kisses you, you’re in love with Jamie.

C)      Tell Tyler you can’t do this at the moment, your emotions are all over the place. You love Jamie, but at the same time you still love Tyler.

[writingsofmyimagination]

Conjecture |11|

Idol Reader Au, Enemies to Lovers AU

Summary: Your management refused to renew your contract unless you collaborated, so you ending up working with Min Yoongi. A guy you’d disliked from before both of your debuts. There is more to their past than meets the eye.

Links to other parts:  | 1 |  2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 

May do one more after this, we’ll see. 

Words:5049

Rating:18+

Warnings: SMUT!! (BDSMish themes, Yoongi Switch, Masturbation, Slight exhibitionism maybe) Swearing, mentions of eating issues, alcohol comsumption. General sass.

Permanent Tags: @msunnsstuff  @rosey-roseu @eyelessmin @backtonormalthings

Reblog, Like, Comment pwwwweeasse :)

//

As the coffee machine was whirring away crushing away the strong beans, he remembered the way your eyes flitted when he’d said those words. It was panic. Was it panic because you didn’t feel the same? Or was it just because when he said it? Or was it both? He hated that he didn’t know.

“Are you growing the beans yourself?” He heard you call from the bedroom. The coffee had been sat ready steaming for minutes.

“Sorry baby, I just got distracted” You were sat up, sheet pulled up around you; legs almost pressed to your chest as you took the cup from him. As he stood to leave to start the shower you tugged at his hand, pining. He smiled weakly bending down to give you the kiss you wanted.

“You better not have been heading to the shower without me Min Yoongi”

“And what if I was?” he countered.

“Then I’ll have to you show why it’s better to shower with me”

“I’ll be honest then, I was heading to the shower” he confessed, smile adorning his lips as he grabbed a towel from the side.

“So I’ll see you in a minute then? He added.

“You know I’m a woman of my word” He would never get enough of the teasing smile you rewarded him so often.

//

“Sharp scratch” the nurse warned puncturing your skin with a needle. The long tubing snaking its way into a bag filled with liquid loaded with vitamins. Your reflection staring back at you as the makeup artist was puffing powder all over your face. Your manager and his assistant were stood observing the whole process. His PA was your favourite person right now. You were running on minimal sleep, no food and you felt like crap; she had amazingly managed to call out a nurse out for you last minute.

“Okay so the plan is you will be on the red carpet straight after BTS, Yoongi will hold back so the press can get photos of the people behind the collab of the year” 

Your reflection smiled at the compliment. For the show you will be sat at our section a few tables behind the boys until you get called for you performance and your presentation.

“Got it, please don’t go over the plan again”

The heated leather seats of the car contributed to soothing your pre-event nerves. The bright natural white light flashes seeped in; even through the tinted windows.

“They’re ready Miss YL/N” The driver said before leaving the wheel to hold the door open for you. You smiled in thanks as you stepped out onto the carpet with full grace. The muttering and shouting of the press increased. Probably with the excitement that Yoongi is still stood on the red carpet and they are finally going to get pictures of the two of you together. Yoongi was wide eyed staring at you, trying his best to not let his jaw collapse to the floor. 

He’d realised why you’d kept the outfit away from him. The slit of your dress teased the front of your thigh under the royal blue dress. Your thigh was decorated with a leather strap wrapping round attached to a heart shaped metal ring. The dress ruffled neatly, delving into a v at your cleavage. The middle of the dress sat tight enough to reveal your figure but you made sure it was loose enough so you had some room; there would be lots of alcohol consumed throughout the night. It was long brushing lightly against the surface of the velvet red carpet beneath your feet. Your hair was in a pony tail which was curled to perfection, your fringe quaffed round into a wave shape, pinned and secured with copious amounts of hair spray.

Your red carpet smile was on show instantly; greeting the flashes. With elegant steps you took up poses at the ‘photo spot’. For the first time in a long time you was riddled with the pinch of nerves. These would be the first proper public photos of you together and actually ‘together’. Today that ‘together’ was his hand snug to your waist. His fingers digging in gently enough to not be detected in the photo evidence.

“I know why you kept that dress away from me now” leaning his head to your ear; both your smiles refusing to falter.

“Yeah and why’s that” you replied, still staring outwards innocently at the crowd.

“Because you knew for one that I wouldn’t believe how beautiful you look” Roles reversed he was now facing forward and you was leaning in to his ear

“Did I?”

“And two you knew I’d damn well be impatient to fuck you in it” The filth through the sweeter than sweet gummy smile had you turning to face him with a bright happy smile shrouding the absolute shock you felt internally. He mirrored your smile turning to you. The perfect red carpet couple shot.  The onlookers were probably begging to see a kiss. As much as you wanted nothing more; you would not give them the satisfaction. Both of your managements would also probably not take kindly to the action. He took your hand and you moved from the spotlight to the reception of the venue.

“Jesus they went nuts” Hobi chuckled slapping an arm at Yoongi’s shoulders when you re-joined the others. The flurry of noise reverberating around the whole room

“Kpop’s hottest couple” Jin toyed.

“Alright guys, calm your tits” You laughed, your eyes clapped onto another artist from you label and waved to get their attention.

“I’ll see you guys later when you win artist of the year yeah?” Aimed at the guys

“And I’ll see you for our performance” You left him with a gentle squeeze of his hand to join your agency to finally be ushered to your seats.

//

The buzz backstage oozed chaotic energy, runners running on their last legs searching for anything anyone needed last minute. You stood in the right wing in the same outfit as the music video; sound from the stage pushing your senses to their limit with the bass. Past the energetic fire of the Monsta X performance you could see Yoongi waiting in the other wing. The static of the radio of one of the stage directors buzzed behind you.

“Y/N” you turned to the call

“Erm Yoongi says you’re going kill it” She stood silent waiting for your response.

“Erm tell him I said to stop being a dweeb”

The stage manager had a smile on her face while communicating your professional message to the other manager. Your legs felt the weakness first, energy draining from your muscles.

The cheers erupted as the performance finished, half the boys heading towards you; Wonho included. The sweat glistening off them walking past you with warm knackered smiles. Wonho had just reached you with an even warmer smile placing a clamming gentle hand on your arm when you collapsed.

Your eyesight still non-existent; a constant blackness. You were conscious; you could make out all the scuffles of shoes scurrying around you.  You recognised the panicked tone of Yoongi, it was harsher and angrier than you remember ever hearing. The words not picked up by your dazed state. You felt a rush of air beside you move as a figure left you and was replaced with another. The blackness turned to fuzziness with colour and clarity finally returned to your vision. Yoongi was staring at you with fierce concern, pupils blown. His hand was stroking your head and brushing your cheek. You’d been moved to a small dressing room and set down on a low sitting sofa. Only Yoongi and the stage manager were present; she was avoiding eye contact leaning against the door finger pressing against her ear piece muttering. The brightness of the room had you squinting as you adjusted to your vision. The desk below the illuminated mirror was littered with an array of bottles powders and god knows what other beauty products.

“5 minutes until you’re up, are we going ahead?”

“Of course not she need medic…” Yoongi snapped

“I’m fine, we’re performing!” you interjected sitting up. You were met with daggers

“We are not” wide eyes looking at you with defiant glare.

You stood almost knocking him back.

“We’re on” Evil stares shooting at Yoongi. You brushed yourself off, gulping down the glass of orange juice which had been placed beside you and walked briskly towards the door. The manager opening the door and following you out. You knew you should have eaten but you just couldn’t; you couldn’t bare the thought of any negative comments about your body. The internet was cruel.

Yoongi’s going to be furious

Eyes welling up; but you had to push them away. The look of the absolute worry was shoved on his face; he may have looked angry but you knew that wasn’t how he really felt. No words were spoken as he was escorted in a rush to the other side of the stage.

Your stage persona fit over your face as smoothly as silk. So did his. He said nothing as you rested back to back waiting for the lights to illuminate. It was awful, the comfort you’d swoon at normally when he was close felt a million miles away.

The fighting and harsh words at the start of the song were strongly meant coming from his mouth; it was the emotion of the start of the song through and through. It hurt. The disagreement in the lyrics transformed into words of reconciliation. This was where your sincere words were laced with apology rung true. The audience were stunned with the secret authenticity of the performance. You’re harmonising with his softer rap even melted Yoongi’s demeanour. The closeness of your bodies singing to each other his hand in yours, fingers locked. You’re final note you hit perfectly, diaphragm giving you all the support it needed. As the lights dimmed, you both partly breathless in your finishing position your head resting on his chest and his hand cupping the back of your neck.

You really felt like the situation had calmed. The pair of you both finding comfort through the work you both lived for. It didn’t stop you briskly walking off in the opposite direction to him, more in shame than anything against him.

You ignored the multiple vibrations on your phone as award after award was given out. In your sight you noticed his head turn to you on multiple occasions moments after you felt another vibration, he was a few tables in front of. Far enough to not have any face to face contact. You finally got the signal to go to backstage. It’s not that you didn’t want to reply you just didn’t know how to talk to about it; so you played safe and avoided it. Temporarily.

“And the artist of the year award goes to” Taking your time building the suspension, the smile reached your face before you spoke

“They’ve achieved a phenomenal amount this year…BTS” you announced with pride blooming through every inch of you. They were all humble in their approach to the stage. You bowed to them one by one, first handing the award to Namjoon. Being closer to the boys they all came in to give you a hug and a gentle kiss on the cheek. Congratulating each one in turn.

“I’m sorr…” you began

“I love you” He whispered before following the others in landing a kiss at your cheek. Your head snapped away with a huge shocked smile you couldn’t depress, unsure how to react. He just smiled as normal as anything compared to your expression.

The twitter memes are going to be priceless.

//

“God I love the after party” You sighed relieved slumping yourself onto Yoongi’s lap who was sat a table with his brothers all laughing away. There had been way too much alcohol to thankfully avoid any serious conversation that was overdue and necessary.

The after party was always a place artists and managements could truly relax; all media were not permitted. The lack of nosey eyes allowed artists to relax and be more themselves. You’d see couples that the Kpop world knew nothing about; there was even gay couples which the industry certainly wouldn’t approve of. It was the best part of the MAMA’s for sure. You certainly wouldn’t be able to be on his lap with his hand parked on your bare thigh.

“Bet you didn’t think you’d be think you’d be handing out the award to your boyfriend did ya” Jimin asked, cheeks flushed out with alcohol.

“Actually I had no doubt you’d get it, you’re smashing this industry with a sledgehammer and It couldn’t happen to a better bunch of guys”

“Thank you Y/N but please go back to being the sarcastic, high maintenance woman we know and love, you’ve had way too much to drink”

You shoved Jungkook knocking the cheek out of him. You got yourself up and made your way to the ladies room. Evil plan ready for you to execute; stepping out of your thong and scrunching it in your hand before heading back to the buzzing room, the live band filling the room with all the songs from the last few years. Side stepping and dodging through the sea of inebriated idols you finally got to your table. You resumed your position on Yoongi’s lap pushing your behind down into his lap harder than you needed too; shielding your hand shoving the underwear into his hand like it was normal as you carried on talking to Hobi about god knows what. Yoongi stole a glance as to what’s been gifted to him. His grip on your thigh tightened at the recognition. His hand slid in his pocket exchanging your underwear for his phone. You opened your phone at this vibration

-If we’re not back in our room sharpish I will not be responsible for my actions-

Another vibration.

-I need you in that dress-

You read the texts, not replying on purpose plonking your phone on the table. Yoongi’s hand that was nursing his glass grew tighter. His hand moved further up your thigh unapologetically. You grabbed it standing up removing any more temptation.

“Well I’m going to call it a night guys. I can’t deal with Jin’s dads joke anymore” you teased, Jin flipped you off in retaliation.

“I can say I agree” Yoongi agreed standing up holding your hand; Jimin noticed.

“Yeah sure, we all know why your checking out early” Jimin teased. You were too influenced by alcohol to be embarrassed.

“And what Park Jimin? I can tell you now his hips would even give yours a run for your money.

“ooooooooooo” Jungkook oooed with the others joining in. Jimin shrugged back leaning on the table defeated erupting in giggles. Yoongi shook his head concealing the chuckle funnelling through his lips practically dragging you away before you embarrassed him even more.

“I’m just going to go apologise to Wonho, I’ll meet you by the elevator”

Apparently when you passed out Wonho was the one to catch you and take you to the side room. When Yoongi had rushed in you were conscious again but only just; you were still unresponsive. Yoongi had asked immediately what was wrong and what happened. Wonho knowing you and exactly what it probably was responded ‘She’s fine, she just wouldn’t have eaten’ to which Yoongi snapped back ‘Well that’s not exactly fine is it, get out!’ You remembered hearing a harsh tone which you now know belonged to Yoongi.

//

“You did not compare my hip movements to Jimin’s”

“It… it just came out, I’m sorry” You laughed stepping into the elevator. Giggles carrying on as you leant against the back on the mirror.

“You definitely will be” Flushing his body against yours as the doors dinged shut.

“What? You going to get those hips working?” you teased smirking at each other before he punished you with a hot kiss. You pulled at his shirt needing every part of him as close to you as humanly possible. The heat that flooded every inch you when he was flush against you.

“Aren’t we going to talk about earlier?” His forehead leaning on yours, hands cradling yours.

“Leave that until tomorrow plleeaaasseee” you whined.

“I promise we’ll talk about it, I just need you first” you added.

“Well I better make you sure don’t have the energy to get out of bed for a while then”

//

You dragged him into you by his tie pressing you against the desk in the hotel room. His lips showering yours with attention, his hands preoccupied smoothly gliding up the outside of both of your thighs dragging it over your behind.

“You smell and look sooo good” Inhaling at your neck, the exhale heating your skin already flushed with heat; result of the alcohol and the need for him. His fingertips now up the inside of your thigh. The anticipation had you gripping harder your already balled fist entangling the chest of his white shirt. His jacket already shed on the floor. You hand gripped his wrist.

“Uh uh” you teased

“Not yet” His eyes rolled, bottom lip pushed out.

“Don’t pout” you scolded. You pushed him giving yourself room to escape to grab a chair round the oak wood table and placed it facing the bed. He waited obediently for you to fetch him by his tie; shoving him into the chair stepping yourself over one of his thighs. You began fiddling his tie un-done; his eyes following your movements with a diligent gaze, hoping to get a glimpse of where you were going.

“Hands behind your back” Eye flashing excited gazing up at you. You tightened the tie at his wrists.

“I’ve happily imagined having you tied up to a chair since you released Agust D” you confessed. His head shot up contorted with a raised eyebrow

“I can think you’re an asshole and still want to fuck you” justifying yourself. He smirked with approval.

“You know when I’ve had a drink my patience and control over myself sucks, please tell what you’re planning, I’m already desperate …”

“Well this will be frustrating for you then” straddling one of his thighs teasing each and every one of his button undone. Giving you access to the milky skin beneath. Nails scratching down his torso; faint red trails down his stomach.

“You really are a tease you know that”

“Would you want me any other way?”

He responded with silence.

“Thought so, you’re going to watch me get myself off” His head shot straight to your direction as you sat on the edge of the bed crossing your legs.

“Wh…”

“But you’re going to tell me how to do it” you interjected as you stood

“Dress on or off” already clasping at the zip.

“On” your eyebrow cocked in response.

“If anyone’s going to strip that dress off you it’s going to be me” You shrugged your shoulders loosely and slid yourself on the bed, holding his gaze tightly with yours.

“Shall I start here” placing your hand on the inside of your thigh

“Mmmhmm go slowly higher” you did. Depending on how desperate he was will influence how much he will tease and torture you. Generally when he’s tipsy he’ll torture you until you’re near enough crying with desperation for any contact which he normally denies you; when he’s past tipsy he’s impatient. It’s a dangerous line you love to walk.

“Tell me how wet you are for me”

So he’s way past tipsy

His eyes were raging with nothing but fire yet the way he was fidgeting told you he was struggling. And you hadn’t even done anything yet.

“How desperate are you to know?” Teasing yourself, you were so wet; and he’d hardly done anything as well as you.

“Please baby” he whined

“I need to know”

He was right

“Wet enough for you to come and fuck me right now” your words dousing the fire in his eyes with petrol

He was not expecting that.

You ran your fingers slowly through your arousal, not patient enough to have no contact but patient enough to go slow until he’d finished picking his jaw up from the floor.

“Go in slow circles baby, I love watching you get impatient”

He kept you doing slow circles for far too long. The asshole always did it, seeing you slowly build, craving anything harder and faster; he thrived on it. You’d curse and whine but when the orgasm ripped through you, all that slow build released in an instant always had you thanking him.

He said nothing; eyes fixated on only you. You’d fully laid on the bed doing as he asked.

“Yoongi” you whined, the fabric of your dress becoming uncomfortable at your heating skin.

“Mmmhmm” he replied

“Please give me more” You didn’t need more, the spring at your centre was already tightening; you  wanted nothing more.

He ignored your request and remained silent. Eyes taking everything in; how your back was arching off the bed, how your whines became longer and more breathless. He let you carry on until your legs began to quiver

“Stop!” You did but more out of surprise than actual obedience.

“I’m not giving you that baby, you know that’s mine”

           You’d never tell him but you loved how selfish he’d become; every orgasm he wanted to steal from you. He wanted each one to be caused by him. It killed him to go away and you made damn sure you teased him and drove him crazy when he was; he made damn sure he got you back when you were home.

“You’re cruel!” you panted in defeat hauling yourself off the bed. You straddled his waist the bulge in his trousers pressing against your throbbing core and rocked a few times; stealing a soft moan past your lips.

“And you’re not? He countered.

Fair point

“Tell me why I should untie you?” sucking in your bottom lip

“Because you love it when I fuck you so hard that you scream my name and I can’t do that if I’m tied to a chair can I and I’ve been good for you”

He was not wrong and he knew it.

Kissing him you went behind him and pulled at the knot releasing him. You slid the shirt of his shoulders. He left and made his way to the balcony door unclicking the lock.

What the fuck, now is not the time to get some air

“You coming?” his expression gave nothing away, looking as calm and stoic as he does when resting.

In a huff you crossed your arms pouting

“I thought you were going to fuck me? You’re making me regret untying you”

“I am…on the balcony, so get yourself out here before I drag you out” You stood their blank, your body preparing for the adrenaline you felt start to heat up. You took a few seconds of pondering the consequences of getting caught, before your body took over and went out putting its needs above your better judgement. The sea of still orange hued lights mingled with the specs of headlights moving slowly through the streets.

If you wasn’t so desperate you’d have felt the chill of the breeze lazily swaying in the air. The second your foot hit the cold stone floor you were dragged and pushed hard against the rails, his frustration apparent. Nails biting harder through your dress; hands running up the slit of your dress less than delicately. The tips of your hands tugging at the base of his hair at his neck keeping his lips harsh against yours.

“You’re so wet for me, and you didn’t let me have it” He purred into you.

“It’s all yours now” you dragged his hand through how much you needed him. Your sigh was captured in his mouth, he pressed himself against your body harder pleased with the result.

“You’re just so impatient” you teased. His hand switching and taking control of yours and near enough threw you round pressing your stomach firmly against the cold barrier; hands automatically bracing round the bar as he shoved your dress up and over your ass.

“What if someone see’s, our neighbours have balconies to you know” your voice pitching higher at the end when his hand came down harsh; stinging your behind. Part of you was too far gone to care who saw, but your rational side knew it would be an absolute media shit storm.

“They’ll only see if we take too long, and there’s no way that’s happening baby” his belt brushed against your behind unhooked and undone as he relieved himself from his trousers.

“Don’t you dare ask me if I’m ready Min Yoongi” you warned needing everything from him right now.

“Done” he obliged pulling your hips backs; perfect angle for him to thrust into you.

“You feel so fucking sweet” he panted through a heavy breath.

“Shut up and just make me cum already” you commanded, pushing back into him. You were met with a violent tug your neck was strained, hair pulled back.

“Now who’s impatient” You wordlessly responded clenching around him. His head knocked into the top of your shoulders; faltering.

“God you’re going to end me one of these days” he gurgled at your neck. Time was a non-existent factor, neither of you needed long, the anger, the passion, the alcohol saw to that.

“Tell me your close, cum for me” he panted; knowing he was not going to be able to keep going for much longer.

“Ask me again” you whined, releasing your hand from the rails and ran them up to your clit. His hips starting to buck unevenly.

“Please fucking cum for me, I want to feel you shake around me as you cum…undone” he stuttered.

You were done, crying out expletives into the brisk night whining his name.

“Jesu…”

You were both done. Adrenaline pouring out you. You’d just let one of the biggest hip hop idols fuck you on the balcony of your hotel; and you didn’t get caught.

“I take it we’ve made up fully now” you enquired in a half chuckle.

“I could never stay mad at you. I just want you to be happy, with me and within yourself. Promise me we’ll work on this”

The pair of you looked less like animals and more of a couple enjoying the ethereal skyline together. You were in his arms, gazing into his blown out eyes. Both of your chests slowing down bit by bit.

“I love it when you’re soppy; if only army knew just how much” you toyed. He nudged you from the side.

“I promise I’ll try, be patient with me” finally accepting now you was in the unit with him you needed to sort your shit out.

“Well never stop being a complete closet softie and fucking me like that and we’ll be fine” quickly coating over the seriousness with cheek and humour. Your star move.

“I better start making sure I leave my studio a bit earlier then, can’t have you going without  what your incredible ass deserves can I” he tucked your hair behind your ear, resting his forehead against yours.

“Well if I knew all it took for you to say that was me slipping some underwear to you in public I would have done it sooner. You pushed your hands against his chest. Your body fully drained of adrenaline; the pinch of the freeing air was beginning to feel harsh against your skin. He shot you a defeated smirk as you walked past heading in to the warmth of the room.

“I’m going to replace this dress with fluffy pyjama’s seeing as you can’t resist me in it”

He Followed your footsteps into the warmth.

“Baby I can’t resist you in anything, especially! your pink unicorn pyjamas”

“If your hinting for round two you can forget it, I’m exhausted” His hand pinched at your zip unlatching the metal teeth with the other hand edging round your hip.

“I thought that was a pretty good try for me” You Slipped out of the snug dress, it pooling at the floor round your ankles.  You unhooked your bra and quickly snuggled yourself in your fluffy top. A mocking wolf whistle left his lips. The daggers you shot him were broken down by your lips which couldn’t do anything but find his sarcasm amusing.

“Fuck you Yoongi” you sniped. Your bag thudding on the floor. Knowing the fake seriousness was non-existed in your pyjama top and nothing else

“Yeah?” He closed the space between you with rapid predator steps. The lack of time stole you your chance to defend yourself. You squealed as you were shoved onto the bed hands pinned above your head.

“I know you’re tired you so I just want you to lay back and let me take care of you, I do promise you’ll be even more tired after you’ve had me between your legs. I just want to hear you whine for me once more” Your eye’s shone brightly absorbing the sparkle that danced in his.

“God I love you” you breathed. His hand trickling over your chest under your top blossoming the goosebumps in a trail of where his hands had been

“But if you don’t hold me all god damn night after this I’ll…” He cut you off, the kiss was hot, hard but full of need and want with a undertone of softness he’d reserved only for you.

“If you take this off I will” He tugged at your jumper lifting it up giving him access to clamp his lips over one of your buds.

“I thought you couldn’t resist me in it?” You teased, his kisses going lower.

“Your skin against mine though feels much better”

“Fine! Now are you going to make me victim of your tongue technology or not”

“You know damn well I will”

[hoseokutie]

Best Friends Baby 5

Hey! I’m back with another part ti this series, I hope you all enjoy it. and I would like to thank all of my followers and fans of this series that stick around and wait for me to update, you all are greatly appreciated!!

Previous Parts can be found here: Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4 

Words: 2.4K

Warnings: Swearing, Possible spelling errors

                         ___________________________

“So let me get this straight, you had sex and then you decided to act as if nothing happened?” Your best friend, Amani asked as you both sat on your couch and ate dinner.

“Okay, first of all don’t say it like that, and second of all yeah that is lowkey what happened.” You shrug your shoulders and continued to eat.

“That’s so scandalous! How long has it been since to two had sex? The party was like a month ago, how have you guys just moved on!?” She questioned, while in complete shock and you just shrugged.

“We talked about it, acknowledged it, had sex a few more times then moved on. The end.” You smiled at her then took a sip of water. 

“You are wild as hell, but that’s why you’re my best friend.” You two high fived one another and went back to enjoying your meal.

“So totally off topic, but like is his friend Jungkook single?” She asked, looking at you in all seriousness.

“I uh, I’m pretty sure he’s single, do you want me to ask for you?” You looked over at her and chuckled when she shyly nodded.

You looked up from your meal when there was a knock on your door, then followed by your other friend singing loudly from the opposite side of the door.

“Oh my lord, Kira just come in!” You said and shake your head at her silly antics.

She opens the door and locks it behind her as she walks into the house dancing as if she won the lottery.

“Why are you so damn happy?” Amani asked.

“I just found out that I am not pregnant which means I get free drinks this Saturday!” She exclaimed, dancing her way to the couch.

You stifled a laugh and shake your head, grabbing the dishes from the coffee table.

“Girl, you kill me every time you open your mouth to say something. You are hilarious.” You tell her, putting the used dishes into the washing machine.

“I’m a comedian for a reason, right? And shit, I bought extra just to be sure.” She reached over and grabbed some food that was still in the takeout container.

Amani smiled and reached over grabbing one of the extra pregnancy tests before laughing herself as she read the label.

“Hey, Y/N, we should take one of these for fun. I’ve always wanted to try one.” She grabbed a second test for you and stood up making her way into the kitchen.

“Out of all the things that you want to do with your life, this is one of them?” You asked, as you took the test from her hands.

“You wanted to be a burlesque dancer at 14, but you don’t see me judging you, now do you?” She smiled brightly and went into the guest bathroom, you looked over at Kira and just stared at her.

“Just do it girl, what’s the harm?” She shrugged and rolled her eyes, nodding her head towards the upstairs bathroom.

You sighed and nodded your head before shrugging your shoulders as well.

“Yeah I guess you’re right, y'all better be lucky that I have to pee real bad anyways.” You ran upstairs and into your bathroom.

You turned on the light and shut the door before making your way to the toilet to do your business and take the silly ass test. 

You quickly read the box and opened it, before making your way to the toilet and peeing on the stick. 

“This is not easy.” You mumbled to yourself as you finished using the bathroom.

You set the test to the side on a piece of tissue, flushed the toilet and proceeded to wash your hands. After drying your hands and turning off the water you checked your phone.

You went through your apps, liked some pictures on Instagram, left at a few comments on select peoples posts, and laughed at a few memes. You really doing anything to pass the time.

“Sis, it’s been five minutes! What are you doing in there? Did you go on Instagram again? That app is going to ruin you!” Amani said making beats on your door.

“Amani, shut the hell up!” You opened the door and both girls walked into the room.

“Did you look at it?” Kira asked and you shake your head before messing with Amani by showing her some photos of Jungkook.

She pouts and hits at your phone, you laugh playfully and move your phone out of the way before she can hit it.

“I’m serious Y/N, let me know if he’s single, looking to mingle, and interested into black girls.” She said, emphasizing the last part.

You laughed before nodding your head.

“Alright, ms. needy. I will make sure to find out about you. You follow him on Instagram and Snapchat, so I don’t know why you don’t just ask him yourself.

“Oh my fucking gosh!” Kira said loudly, interrupting you and Amani’s small talk.

“What’s your problem?” Kira asked walking over to her before her eyes widened and her lips puckered. 

“What? Why are you both making that face?” You asked before walking over to them and looking down at the test. 

You felt everything around you slow down as you read the results from the test. Two prominent blue lines was all you managed to see.

“Fuck.” You mumbled taking the test from her hands and sitting down on the floor, your body not being able to stand and process these emotions.

“I don’t understand, we were careful. I know we were.” You said looking at your friends who sat across from you.

“You may not have been as careful as you thought sweetie.” Kira said, reaching over to hold your hand.

“What are you going to do?” Amani asked, taking the test from your hands so that you could try and focus a little bit. 

“I have to tell Joon first, Jesus I need to tell him now!” You grabbed your phone and went to dial his number but froze.

“What’s wrong Y/N?” Kira asked looking at your frozen state.

“I can’t do it, I’m scared. I don’t even know what to say. What if he hates me and I lose one of my best friends?” You begin to panic.

Amani scoots closer to you and holds you in her arms, she held you close and kissed the top of your head.

“You don’t need to stress about anything, because everything is going to be just fine. You’re gonna tell Joon the truth and you both will be responsible adults and figure this situation out. Stop stressing.” She held your face in her hands and you nodded before picking up the phone and dialing his number. 

Your nerves made time seem like it was so much slower than it actually was. The phone began to ring, part of you wished he didn’t answer, but the other half wish that he would have picked up by now. 

“Hello best friend, how can I help you on this lovely evening?” Namjoons voice rang through the phone and you calmed down.

“Hello moon child, what are you doing right now? I was wondering if we could possibly talk.” You held Kira’s hand and waited for an answer.

“I’m not doing much. Just folding my laundry, typical Friday night for good ole Joon.” He said in a fake enthusiastic tone.

The small act put a slight smile on your face and you let out a small breath of air.

“Well, would you mind coming over? Feel free to bring your laundry. You can even bring some of the other boys if you’re up for it. I’ve got Kira and Amani with me so, yeah.” You slowly stood up and rubbed your forehead.

“That sounds like a plan, I’ll send a text to the group chat and see who’s able to join us, I’ll see you in about 30 minutes.” He informed you.

“Sounds good to me, I’ll see you when you get here.” You hung up the phone and looked at yourself in the mirror.

“I look a hot mess.” You said out loud and chuckled.

“Not gonna lie, you do, but it’s definitely allowed under these recent events.” Kira said, standing up behind you. 

“Well you’ve got some time before he gets here. What do you want to do?” She asked rubbing your back.

You looked in the mirror and shrug your shoulders taking the test from Kira before looking at it again.

“I just wanna get this over with.” You answered, looking at the bother of them 

                                          ______________

About half an hour passed before Namjoon finally arrive at your house, you and the girls greeted him at the door with hugs.

“Sorry it took so long, I had to give RapMon another bath because he thought it would be fun to run in the backyard.” He said while shaking his head.

“Oh he's so precious and innocent.” You said patting Joon on the shoulder.

“Where’s the other boys?” You asked, walking over to the living room.

“Jungkook and Chim will be here soon, Tae is on a date so he won’t be able to make it. Yoongi said he would let me know, and Hoseok and Jin are gonna come by after the gym.” He told you.

Amani silently thanked the gods above when she heard Jungkook was going to be joining them and she did a small happy dance.

“So what’s up, is everything okay?” He asked wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“Everything is as okay as it can be.” You shrugged and chuckled sitting down on the couch with him.

“Uh oh, that does not sound as positive as it should. Talk to me like I’m one of the girls. Is it a boy? Somebody from work bothering you? I’ll cut someone if I really have to. You know I’ll do it.” He said in all seriousness and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“No it’s nothing like that, well actually when you think about it, i guess it does have something to do with a boy. Yeah it does.” 

You were not going to let your nerves get in the way of telling Namjoon what the issue is, he deserves to know the truth. 

“Hey I’m here for you what’s up?” He took your hand and held it in his own.

You smiled and blew out a small breath of air before clearing your throat and holding his hand in your own.

“Namjoon, what I’m going to tell you could possibly, no, I know it’s going to change our friendship. Forever.” You said to him in all seriousness. 

He held your hand up to his face and smiled cutely to help calm your nerves and reassure you.

“Hey, nothing could ever change our friendship. You’re my girl and I care about you deeply. Now talk to me.” He took your hand off his face and you nodded your head. 

“Namjoon, I’m-” The moment you started talking there was a knock on the door.

“I got it!” Kira said running to the door.

“Hey, it’s probably just the boys. Just go ahead and finish your thought. What’s up?” He got your attention and you cleared your throat. 

“Namjoon… I’m pregnant.” You finally told him and you watched him freeze up.

You instantly regret your decision and let go of his hands, you watched him try and make a sentence, but he just continued to stumble over his words.

“You ...pregnant? Are you serious? This isn’t another one of your pranks is it?” He asked in all seriousness.

“No, I’m not joking. Namjoon I’m so sorry.” You told him and he shook his head, standing up and pulling you into his arms.

“No, don’t apologize. This is something we’ve done together. We’re both in this together. Just wow, I’m really caught off guard.” He said rubbing your back. 

Part of you was still scared about everything, but when Namjoon pulled you into his arms, deep down you knew everything was really going to be okay. 

“Hey we having a hugging party or something?” Jimin asked walking into the living room with his arms open with Jumgkook following behind. 

You laughed as the boys hugged you and Joon, Kira and Amani also joined in on the group hug and everybody laughed.

“Why are we hugging?” Jungkook asked in confusion.

“There’s going to be a new addition to the group.” You pulled away from the group hug and stood there with your hands on your hips.

“Who’s getting a dog?” Jimin asked in all seriousness and Amani laughed.

“Jimin, I’m pregnant.” You told him and his eyes went wide before looking between you and Joon.

“I knew it! I always knew that you two would make babies in the future!” He exclaimed before hugging you both again.

Everyone in the room laughed and shook their heads at Jimin’s excitement. 

“I’m not the youngest anymore.” Jungkook said with a cute pout.

“No buddy you’re not. But in all seriousness, we are the only people that needs to know about this, as well as the other boys. I think we should wait to tell our families, especially since we don’t have a set plan.” Namjoon said, looking down at you.

“Yeah I think that’s a good idea, wait a couple of months then let everybody know. That seems like a good idea.” You nodded your head and leaned on Namjoon.

“Well nonetheless, congratulations, but I am hungry, Y/N please tell me you have food or that one of your friends can cook something.” Jungkook said, rubbing his stomach.

“I can make you a breakfast sandwich, I know it’s late but-” Amani began talking before Jungkook cut her off.

“I love breakfast sandwiches, please make me one.” Jungkook said pulling her into the kitchen.

“I’m gonna go take a shower while we wait.” Kira said, waving at us.

“I um, I don’t really know where to go so yeah.” Jimin said rubbing the back of his neck.

“You can sit on the couch with us and be incorporated in our plan, if you want to of course.” You said, sitting down on the couch pulling the boys down on either side of you.

“Joon, if that’s okay with you.” Jimin looked over and Namjoon smiled.

“Hey, I don’t see why not.” He gave his signature smile.

“Then let’s get to planning!” You said excitedly. 

[justjessame]

A Little Ass and a Lotta Sass Chapter 21:  A Job...A Purpose...And a Dress

Negan found a ‘job’ for me. It came sooner than I expected, but Laura had found three other guards that I didn’t hate on sight quickly too, so the world was full of surprises.

I’d been at the Sanctuary nearly a month when he told me over dinner. My days had begun to have a sense of routine and normalcy. I’d wake up, wrapped up in Negan, he’d use all the persuasion he possessed to convince me mornings weren’t his father’s least useful gift, and we’d have breakfast. Our chats kept going, even traipsing into less than safe territories, and while I wasn’t able to make him budge on the Kingdom or Hilltop, we learned more and more about one another. Then a shared shower, dressing for the day, and he’d go off to show the community what a badass, yet fair leader he was, and I’d get started on my own day.

I had felt that Laura needed to be clued in on my ‘condition’. She needed to know that Negan wasn’t simply insanely protective of me for my own irresistible self, but that I was growing a tiny little terror inside of me that he’d no doubt burn the world down to protect. With that in mind, she didn’t blink at my daily walks through the Sanctuary and outside in the fresh air and sunshine. She became adept at knowing which way the wind was blowing, literally, because the scent of walker security was a surefire way to make me lose my breakfast.

We’d go through the marketplace, and I’d managed during one such trip, to find a book on pregnancy. I’d been a good student, but science hadn’t been my strong suit, so biology wasn’t high on my list of things to memorize. It’s how I learned that our little demon seed was practically microscopic, and I started preparing for what was coming.

And with this book in hand, my chats with Negan started to include what we were going to be experiencing. “Wait,” he said, holding up a huge hand during dinner the night he would tell me he’d decided on my role inside the Sanctuary. “How fucking big is their head gonna be again?” Yes, I’d been regaling him with the joys of childbirth, during dinner. And we’d decided to call the bean “they” since we didn’t actually know the sex. Shut up, we’re progressive.

I checked the book, and grimaced. “Around thirteen inches in circumference is the low end of the scale.” Ugh, gross. “I was a premie, so if our bean takes after me, they could be tinier.”

“You came early?” He asked, still eating somehow. “Don’t remember you telling the good doc that during your checkup.” I rolled my eyes. “Thirteen inches,” he whistled and I shot him a glare. “That’s-” he held up his hands and gave an example. “Fuck, baby girl, that’s gonna hurt.”

Asshole. I was glaring at the book, and trying not to squirm at the thought of something that size passing through me. “Yeah, but I’ll be holding your fucking hand the entire time, so better start exercising those fingers, I’d hate to fucking crush them.”

Negan laughed, and I took a drink when I looked up at his flashing eyes. “I have good news for you, sweetheart.” I put the book aside, thankful for a break from the terrifying future. “Tomorrow you go to work.”

I raised an eyebrow. Really? “Picked a job that you’re ‘willing’ to let me do, have you?” I knew I sounded cranky, but seeing as I just realized how fucking huge babies really were and the fact that he’d been so adamant that I only work at what he felt I should, well I was fucking cranky.

He leaned back in his chair and grinned. Unfazed by my irritation, which pissed me off a little more. “Yes, I have.” Those damn dimples mocked me. “I have the leaders of my outposts coming tomorrow for a meeting. They think they’re just being introduced to you, my new-” he stopped, we still hadn’t fucking given what we were a label, and EVERY time he made the ‘wife’ suggestion I gagged, at him, mind you. “They think it’s just an introduction.” He moved on, past the confusion of what the fuck we were. “You, my lovely Callie, are gonna use that wonderful talent of yours to let me know just how trustworthy my people are.”

I grinned at him. Clever, that’s Negan. My Negan, I thought, wanting nothing more than to prove myself and also, to show the fucking entire community that I wasn’t just his willing concubine. “Of course,” I answered, pushing my plate away. “What time should I be ready?”

 The next morning, after performing his duty of convincing me that sunlight was not the enemy in the most mind blowing way he could, he smacked me on my bare ass, and ordered me out of bed for breakfast. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, Negan had begun beating the delivery people to the punch. I swear to fucking hell, he was waking me up earlier and earlier, and I would one day smother myself with a fucking pillow to stop it, but he took great pleasure of waiting with our living area door open so they couldn’t interrupt or fucking knock.

Fucker, I thought, as I tugged on my morning outfit of whatever shirt he’d tossed off the night before, grabbing a pair of panties that I’d ONLY don during breakfast, and meeting him in the living room. I have to say, watching him wait for breakfast with the same glee I probably waited for presents on Christmas morning, was hilarious. I swear, once he’d decided to take away the unknown power that our food delivery person had over us, he became a fucking child. One day, soon probably, he was going to hide behind the open fucking door and shout “BOO” when he jumped out just to get a new fucking thrill.

I was shaking my head, and getting the dirty dishes from dinner gathered, when I felt him creep up behind me. His arms wrapped around me and he propped his head on top of mine. “Have I ever told you how fucking hot you look wearing my shirts?” His hands were smoothing down my still pretty damn flat stomach, teasing the soft fabric of his t-shirt. “When you come out here every fucking morning in one, it’s all I can do to fight the fucking urge to lay you down on this fucking table and have YOU for breakfast.”

I could hear the rawness in his voice and my stomach clenched with the picture he was painting. Me, laid out, much like our first flirtation on the dinner table in Alexandria, only naked this time and being savored. Jesus, I swallowed at the fucking burn growing across my skin.

He was dipping his head to nibble along my neck when we heard a throat clear. I nearly laughed, nearly because I fully remembered Rule Number 1, and also because for ONCE this wasn’t my fault. Ha. I felt his groan against my skin, and then he pulled away and stalked to our open door. Letting go of a silent giggle, I took the empty dishes to the door to hand them to the poor guy standing there being glared at by Negan.

He took them from me, and I offered what I hoped was a sympathetic smile. Then closing the door, I rejoined the father of my child at the table. Negan was setting the table, something I’d reluctantly become used to, and he held out my chair for me as always. We sat and discussed what I could expect from the meeting he’d planned for the morning.

“Any preferences for what I should wear?” I asked, eating my food without argument. Another concession I’d made during the past month. Why fight the serving sizes? Especially since, and I’d never admit it to Negan, but I was growing more and more hungry by the day.

He considered my question, knowing it didn’t come from a place of vanity. I wanted to be seen as formidable, but also as Negan’s whatever the hell I was to Negan. “One of the dresses?” It came out as a question, mostly because I hadn’t chosen to wear one of them yet. I could tell he wasn’t certain I liked dresses. “They’re all pretty functional, pockets, good length should shit go wrong.” He was building a case for why he’d given them to me, I could see, and I smiled to show him I got it.

I nodded, wanting to sigh because today panties would be a requirement. Fuck, I thought, I hate underwear. We ate, talked about the day, and then he reminded me of another appointment we had today. “Dr. Carson says you’re due for another checkup.” I gave another nod. Yeah, it had been about a month, another checkup would be routine at this point. “I’m thinking after the meeting, we’ll have lunch and head to the infirmary.”

“Sounds fun.” My tone showed exactly how not fun I found the idea.

A shower, brief this morning, since we had so much to do. Then we were back in our bedroom, Negan having a simple task of tossing on his usual outfit. Me, well, I was opening the section of the closet that I’d ignored until now. Dresses. I didn’t hate wearing them, but a part of me wondered how wife-like I’d be looking in one. As I’m flicking through the offerings, I pull out one that makes me question just what kind of fantasies my personal sex machine may harbor for me.

“Negan, baby?” I ask, glancing at him and holding up the very plaid dress I’m holding up. “Is there something you want to share with the class about this?”

His eyes are twinkling as his grin grows. “I thought you’d look hot in it, princess.” Uh huh, in a tartan plaid dress that hints at a schoolgirl fantasy if I’ve ever seen one.

 “Gotta say, Coach, I fucking hated gym, but I’m pretty fucking certain this wasn’t the uniform.” I started to put it away, cute as it was I was pretty sure that wasn’t the image I was going for today. His arms wrapped around me and he nuzzled his face in the curve of my shoulder. “Really?” I whispered, wanting more information, just so I understood. “Is it because of my size, or-”

His laughter against my skin forced a new rush of need to roll through me. “I’m not a fucking pedo, Callie.” He kissed my neck and I could feel his smile against my skin. “You’re so fucking tiny, and I saw it, and fuck if it didn’t give me an idea or two.”

Ah, I bit my lip, running my own scenario through my mind. “I think we’re going to explore those ideas, Negan,” my voice a breath, “soon.”

Another laugh, and another swat on my panty covered ass. “Get dressed, woman.”

I mumbled about the fucking need for panties, the need for a dress, the fucking irritation of having to be awake and dealing with this shit. My hands landed on a wine colored sleeveless wrap dress. Mesh covered the shell which was made of stretchy fabric, and it did have pockets. I wrapped it around me, happy that I didn’t have to change the bra and panty set I’d chosen and smoothed it down so it settled just above my knees. If it was ever necessary, I actually could fight in it. Impressed at Negan’s care in choosing my wardrobe, once again, I pulled out a pair of ballet flats and a pair of canvas sneakers. As I was deciding, Negan offered his choice.

“Sneakers, babe.” He was pulling on his leather jacket, and watching me intently. I raised an eyebrow wondering at his choice, but didn’t argue. They were cute, and they worked, so I tied them on.

He came over to fix my necklace, as I brushed and braided my hair. Dropping a kiss on the bare skin of the back of my neck, he smiled at me in the mirror’s reflection. “You look good enough to fucking eat, darlin’.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” I answered with a smile. “Should we head out?”

I was nervous. I’d met the people around us, fighting to keep hold of their names. And while Laura and Arat were becoming more familiar to me daily, the rest were kept at a distance. And here I was heading to meet the men and women Negan trusted to act in his stead at the outposts. Places that my family had attacked and killed at. As butterflies fought in my stomach, Negan’s hand took mine, and together with Lucille we made our way to meet these leaders, meet them and have me pass judgement, I corrected myself.

Hopefully, I’d find nothing and no one amiss, but I didn’t count that as likely. Negan surrounded himself with people who were fighters and survivors, and I knew, better than most what it took to become either.

[just-another-obsessed-fangirl]

Lover (2019) Sentence Prompts

feel free to change pronouns and other specific details

How many days did I spend thinking ‘bout how you did me wrong?

Lived in the shade you were throwing ‘til all of my sunshine was gone

I couldn’t get away from you

In my feelings more than Drake

Your name on my lips, tongue-tied

Free rent, living in my mind

But then something happened one magical night

I forgot that you existed

I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t

It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference

Got out some popcorn as soon as my rep started going down

Laughed on the schoolyard as soon as I tripped up and hit the ground

I would’ve stuck around for you, would’ve fought the whole town

Would’ve been right there, front row, even if nobody came to your show

But you showed who you are

Sent me a clear message

Taught me some hard lessons, I just forget what they were

Fever dream high in the quiet of the night

Bad, bad boy, shiny toy with a price

You know that I bought it

I’m always waiting for you to be waiting below

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

What doesn’t kill me makes me want you more

It’s new, the shape of your body

It’s blue, the feeling I’ve got

It’s a cruel summer

It’s cool, that’s what I tell ‘em

No rules in breakable heaven

Hang your head low in the glow of the vending machine

We say that we’ll just screw it up in these trying times

We’re not trying

Cut the headlights

Summer’s a knife

I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone

If I bleed, you’ll be the last to know

I’m drunk in the back of the car

I cried like a baby coming home from the bar

Said, “I’m fine,” but it wasn’t true

I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you

I snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer

Just to seal my fate

I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?

He looks up grinning like a devil

We could leave the Christmas lights up ‘til January

This is our place, we make the rules

There’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close?

Take me out and take me home

You’re my lover

We could let our friends crash in the living room

I’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, but I want ‘em all

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue

All’s well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true

You’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

At every table, I’ll save you a seat

I would be complex

I would be cool

They’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to

That would be okay for me to do

Every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you

I’d be a fearless leader, I’d be an alpha type

When everyone believes you, what’s that like?

I’m so sick of running as fast as I can

I’d get there quicker if I was a man

I’m so sick of them coming at me again

If I was a man

I’d be the man

I hustled, put in the work

Shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve

And they would toast to me

What’s it like to brag about raking in dollars and getting bitches and models?

It’s all good if you’re bad and it’s okay if you’re mad

I’d be a bitch, not a baller

They paint me out to be bad

It’s okay that I’m mad

I’m ready for combat

I don’t want that, but what if I do?

Cruelty wins in the movies

I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you

I jump from the train, I ride off alone

I never grew up, it’s getting so old

Help me hold on to you

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling, but who could stay?

I search for your dark side

What if I’m alright right here?

I cut off my nose just to spite my face

I hate my reflection for years and years

I pace like a ghost

The room is on fire, invisible smoke

All of my heroes die all alone

They see right through me

Can you see right through me?

I see right through me

All the king’s horses, all the king’s men, couldn’t put me together again

All of my enemies started out friends

His footprints on the sidewalk lead to where I can’t stop

His hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine

He got that boyish look that I like in a man

I am an architect, I’m drawing up the plans

It’s like I’m seventeen, nobody understands

He got my heartbeat skipping down 16th Avenue

Wanna see what’s under that attitude

I want you, bless my soul

I ain’t gotta tell him, I think he knows

I’ll make myself at home and he’ll want me to stay

He’d better lock it down or I won’t stick around

Good ones never wait

He’s so obsessed with me and, boy, I understand

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We could follow the sparks

I’ll drive

Where we gonna go?

You know I adore you

I’m crazier for you than I was at sixteen

I’m lost in the lights

Ripped up my prom dress

Running through rose thorns

I saw the scoreboard and ran for my life

No cameras catch my pageant smile

I counted days, I counted miles 

It’s you and me, that’s my whole world

They whisper in the hallway, “She’s a bad, bad girl”

The whole school is rolling fake dice

You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes

We’re so sad, we paint the town blue

Voted most likely to run away with you

My team is losing, battered and bruising

I see the high fives between the bad guys

You are the only one who seems to care

The damsels are depressed

Boys will be boys, then where are the wise me?

Darling, I’m scared

No cameras catch my muffled cries

I don’t really wanna fight, ‘cause nobody’s gonna win

I think you should come home

I’ll never let you go, ‘cause I know this is a fight that someday we’re gonna win

She’s a bad, bad girl

High, like your friends were the night that we first met

Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet

I’ve read all of the books beside your bed

Cold, like the shoulder that I gave you in the street

Cat and mouse for a month or two or three

Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

Kiss me once ‘cause you know I had a long night

Kiss me twice ‘cause it’s gonna be alright

Three times ‘cause I waited my whole life

I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

You’re the one I want in paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams

In the icy outdoor pool, when you jumped in first, I went in too

I’m with you even if it makes blue

Takes me back to the color that we painted your brother’s wall

Without all the exes, fights, and flaws

We wouldn’t be standing here so tall

I want to drive away with you

I want your complications too

I want your dreary Mondays

Wrap your arms around me, baby boy

Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar

I rent a place on Cornelia Street

We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go

As if the street lights pointed in an arrow head leading us home

I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I’d never walk Cornelia Street again

That’s the kinda heartbreak time could never mend

I get mystified by how this city screams your name

I’m so terrified of it you ever walk away

Jacket ‘round my shoulders is yours

Memorize the creaks in the floor

Back when we were card sharks

I thought you were leading me on

I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street, before you even knew I was gone

You called, showed your hand

I turned around before I hit the tunnel

Sat on the roof, you and I

You hold my hand on the street

Walk me back to that apartment years ago

We were just inside barefoot in the kitchen

Sacred new beginnings that became my religion

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

Flashbacks waking me up

I get drunk but it’s not enough

The morning comes and you’re not my baby

I look through the windows of this love even though we boarded them up

Chandelier’s still flickering here

I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not

I dress to kill my time

I take the long way home

I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say, “I don’t know”

What once was ours is no one’s now

The only thing we share is this small town

It was a great love, one for the ages

If the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?

My heart, my hips, my body, my love

Tryna find a part of me that you didn’t touch

Gave up on me like I was a bad drug

Now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club

Our songs, our films, united we stand 

Our country, guess it was a lawless land

Quiet my fears with a touch of your hand

Paper cut stings from out paper-thin plans

My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust

Tryna find a part of me you didn’t take up

Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough

But I’ll be alright, it’s just a thousand cuts

I love my hometown as much as Motown

Something happened, I heard him laughing

I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent

They say home is where the heart is, but that’s not where mine lives

You know I love a London boy

He likes my American smile

Like a child when our eyes meet

Darling, I fancy you

I guess all the rumors are true

Boy, I fancy you

Now I love high tea

You can find me in the pub

We are watching rugby with his school friends

Show me a gray sky, a rainy cab ride

Babes, don’t threaten me with a good time

God, I love the English

Doesn’t have to be Louis V up on Bond Street

Stick with me, I’m your queen

The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair

I didn’t tell you I was scared

That was the first time we were there

Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you

Desperate people find faith

Now I pray to Jesus too

Soon you’ll get better

You’ll get better soon ‘cause you have to

I know delusion when I see it in the mirror

You like the nicer nurses

You make the best of a bad deal

I just pretend it isn’t real

I’ll paint the kitchen neon

I’ll brighten up the sky

I know I’ll never get it, there’s not a day that I won’t try

I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to?

What am I supposed to do if there’s no you?

This won’t go back to normal, if it ever was

It’s been years of hoping

I keep saying it because I have to

You’ll get better

We were crazy to think that this could work

Remember how I said I’d die for you?

We were stupid to jump in the ocean separating us

Remember how I’d fly to you?

I can’t talk to you when you’re like this

Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town

I’m New York City

I still do it for you, babe

They all warned us about times like this

The road gets hard and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith

We might just get away with it

Religion’s in your lips

Even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship

The altar is my hips

We’d still worship this love

I know heaven’s a thing, I go there when you touch me, honey

Hell is when I fight with you

We can patch it up good

Make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness

Got the wine for you

You can’t talk to me when I’m like this

Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you

You’re the West Village

You still do it for me, babe

You are somebody that I don’t know

Taking shots at me like it’s Patrón

Damn, it’s 7 AM

Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out

Say it in a Tweet, that’s a cop-out

I ain’t tryna mess with your self-expression

I’ve learned a lesson that stressing and obsessing ‘bout somebody else is no fun

Snakes and stones never broke my bones

You need to calm down

You’re being too loud

Can you just not step on my gown?

You’re coming at my friends like a missile

Why are you mad when you could be glad?

Sunshine on the street at the parade

You would rather be in the dark ages

Making that sign must’ve taken all night

You just need to take several seats

Try to restore the peace

Control your urges to scream about all the people you hate

Shade never made anybody less gay

We see you over there on the internet

Comparing all the girls who are killing it

We figured you out

We all know now we all got crowns

I blew things out of proportion, now you’re blue

Put you in jail for something you didn’t do

I pinned your hands behind your back

Thought I had reason to attack, but no

Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves

Chemistry ‘til it blows up, ‘til there’s no us

Why’d I have to break what I love so much?

It’s on your face and I’m to blame

It’s all me in my head

I’m the one who burned us down

It’s not what I meant

Sorry that I hurt you

I don’t wanna do this to you

I don’t wanna lose this with you

It’s all me, just don’t go

Meet me in the afterglow

It’s so excruciating to see you low

Just wanna lift you up and not let you go

This ultraviolet morning light below tells me this love is worth the fight

I lived like an island, punished you with silence

Went off like sirens

Tell me that you’re still mine

Tell me that we’ll be just fine even when I lose my mind

Tell me that it’s not my fault

Tell me that I’m all you want even when I break my heart

I promise that you’ll never find another like me

I know that I’m a handful

I know I never think before I jump

You’re the kind of guy the ladies want

There’s a lot of cool chicks out there

I know that I went psycho on the phone

I never leave well enough alone

Trouble’s gonna follow where I go

One of these things is not like the others

When it comes to a lover

I’m the only one of me

Baby, that’s the fun of me

You’re the only one of you

Baby, that’s the fun of you

I promise that nobody’s gonna love you like me

I know I tend to make it about me

I know you never get just what you see

I will never bore you, baby

There’s a lot of lame guys out there

We had that fight out in the rain

You ran after me and called my name

I never wanna see you walk away

Living in winter, I am your summer

Hey kids, spelling is fun!

There ain’t no I in “team”, but you know there is a “me”

You can’t spell “awesome” without “me”

School bell rings, walk me home

Sidewalk chalk covered in snow

Lost my gloves, you give me one

“Wanna hang out?” Yeah, sounds like fun

Video games, you pass me a note, sleeping in tents

It’s nice to have a friend

Light pink sky, up on the roof

Sun sinks down, no curfew

20 questions, we tell the truth

You’ve been stressed out lately, yeah, me too

Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand

Church bells ring, carry me home

Rice on the ground looks like snow

Call my bluff, call you “Babe”

Have my back every day

Stay in bed the whole weekend

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in

Everyone looked worse in the light

There are so many lines that I’ve crossed unforgiven

I’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye

I don’t wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don’t wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night 

Now I see daylight

Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky

I became the butt of the joke

I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked

Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke

Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down

Maybe I’ve stormed out of every single room in this town

Threw out our cloaks and our daggers

Because it’s morning now

It’s brighter now

I can still see it all in my mind

All of you, all of me, intertwined

I once believed love would be black and white (but it’s golden)

I can still see it all in my head

Back and forth from New York, sneaking in your bed

I once believed love would be burning red

It’s golden like daylight

You gotta step into the daylight and let it go

I wanna be defined by the things that I love

Not the things I hate

Not the things I’m afraid of

The things that haunt me in the middle of the might

You are what you love

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 11 - Candy Page 12

==>

Alright, looks like Jake and Jane had an active night and now Jake’s going to distance himself again.

Yeah you’re pretty afraid of closing this distance with Jane.  You REALLY don’t want it, do you?

JANE: Lighten up Jake! The election’s off! The economy is stable! Dirk is probably never going to talk to us ever again! And we just... we finally fucked. Hoo hoo hoo!

Okay seeing that “Hoo hoo hoo!” at the end of the sentence makes it really fucking uncomfortable somehow.

Something catches the corner of his eye, and he swivels his head around to see the Trickster Lollipop on his bedside table.

JANE I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T GOING TO BE SUCH A SCUMBAG THIS TIME AROUND WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO????

far more sets of underwear than the number of people accounted for in the room.

Yeah that sounds about like what might happen with the lollipop thrown in.

Okay at least it was Jake’s idea??? that makes it... ALMOST... better... but not really..??

Oh God, and Jake just does the pushover thing and rolls with it only because he thinks he SHOULD, not because he wants to.  Fuck.

==>

Mhmm.  There’s always a thick sense that “what would Bro tell me to do” was thick in everything Dave did hanging over him like a shadow.  Interesting that here it manifests as that Meta voice he was using in Meat or whatever.

Is Dirk even going to be there, or has he fled entirely?

Gamzee, what the fuck are you doing.  Forceful character arc intervention?  Is that what you did with Roxy somehow?

...is Gamzee toying with the narrative now that Dirk has fled or something??

...okay there’s some author worship going on or some such?

Dave how do you even know who Pagliacci is.

Okay there’s the Rose bot, and an ominous note.  Suicide note? Self-Decapitation note, again?  Hm.

==>

Epilogue Three

Okay, that’s some startlingly abrupt pathmaking toward suicide.  I was warned that there was a vivid description of the leadup to suicide in Candy somewhere, so I’ll try to talk only lightly about it as I read.

Your legs feel impressively powerful as you begin to climb the staircase

Nice Meat callback at least.

A flip of the cosmic coin has rendered your entire life completely inessential. What could you accomplish in a dead-end existence like this? There are no stakes. No meaningful challenges. No structures or themes—only residual chemical reactions in a dying brain, a physical system’s obligate compulsion to exhaust its own lingering momentum. A cockroach with its head cut off, waiting to die of thirst.

Wow, yeah, you REALLY can’t stand living in a world where you don’t hold some sort of Light-y relevance, can you?  So much so that you were willing to steal Light away from the story entirely just to have more to carry with you in the flipside.  Is this supposed to sort of embody the comeuppance you didn’t get in the other half, the way you’re offing yourself here?  Weird.

Your friends might derive some sense of fulfillment from satisfying the elementary obligations of self-preservation and self-propagation, but there’s nothing here for you. It doesn’t matter anymore.

HOW ABOUT LIVING HAPPY LIVES AND NOT GETTING STUCK IN COMAS YOU ASSHOLE

Seriously, that whole Meat part, the... the four things I really couldn’t stand being left with were Jane’s fate, Jade’s situation, ROSE’s unenviable situation, and Dirk being allowed to escape without consequence.  Three of my favorite characters left on doomed paths or basically IN COMAS, constantly having their agency quashed by others or forced away from anything that could have corrected their disastrous path (Jane’s) by Dirk’s meddling.  A line being drawn in the sand that clearly stated CANON ENDS HERE, before any of them could wake up or stop FUCKING SUFFERING.  Jesus Christ.  I just wanted some loose ends tied up by this epilogue, I didn’t need the characters’ POSSIBLE HAPPINESS to be left unresolved with a likely “NO” as the answer??!???  THEY DIDN’T COME ALL THIS WAY AND SACRIFICE AND WIN FOR JUST THAT!  DIRK STOLE THE FUCKING ULTIMATE REWARD FROM THEM OUT OF NOWHERE!

*breathes*

FUCK.  So, yeah, on to seeing Dirk either die or get stopped by Dave somehow because he still needs him or whatever.

Ew, self-decapitation indeed.  You narcissistic fuck.

When you think so little of yourself as a moral character, any act of self-termination will result in a death that is Just.

Huh.  So that influences the way the clock judges you, hm?

==>

A damn funeral, huh.

He looks at Roxy, who is staring at the floor, rather beside herself in grief.

Oh thank goodness, a glimpse at her line to Gamz had me thinking she was in weird happy-stuck Candy mode still, that would have fucked this scene a bunch.

...IS Dave really more eloquent than you, though?

Dave’s long speech--

Oh my gosh I just realized during this speech how UTTERLY FUCKED of Andrew people must have thought this Dirk suicide section was if they chose Candy FIRST.  Jesus dick.

End of speech.  Jane, stop being so remarkably fucking composed.  Unless Dirk’s plans and machinations really hurt you as much as you let on when you expressed seemingly-mock excitement that you’d “never hear from him again”.

Fuck you Gamzee.

ROXY: BRAVO!!! DAMN I FEEL LIKE IF I NEVER HEARD ANOTHER WORD THIS GUY EVER SAID THATD BE FINE BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL JUST SO *PERFECT*

Thanks for coming to your senses Roxy, better late than never I guess.

Dave dips down so that their noses are bumping. Karkat’s eyes are so wide it’s amazing they don’t pop out. For a moment, it looks like they’re going to...

John sneezes.

Oh COME ON, John.  :(

JOHN: i have no idea why i did that. now i have this whole memory in my head that i could have definitely lived without.

Me after reading the Meat epilogue.

Huh, offering to undo the death.  That IS potentially a little bit insensitive, as obvious and necessary a question it is to ask, even if the answer is no.

DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he did DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his decision DAVE: thats like denying him his personal autonomy

Exactly.

A courtesy that Dirk, funny enough, wouldn’t have given anyone else.  The fucking prick.

--Yep, they’re too far outside of canon for his retcon powers to work anymore.  Rose told him on the last day he could.

Roxy what the hell are you doing.

ROXY: we should get hitched

No, you should ANSWER WHY YOU LEFT CALLIOPE HANGING and THEN decide LIKE ADULTS to do whatever you all feel like doing.  This isn’t legitimate if you’re HIDING most of the situation in Voidy shadow!  If you really DO want this, then do it properly and HONESTLY!!!!

JOHN: you... JOHN: LOVE me?? ROXY: yea john i love you ROXY: wanna marry u and spend the rest of my life with u and pop out a bunch of cute lil buck toothed babies with you JOHN: oh, uh. haha, wow. roxy that’s um. JOHN: that’s a LOT.

Yeah, this isn’t how it should go.  WOULD go.  Something’s seriously wrong with Roxy right now and I hope John figures out how to bring them to the forefront so they can come to an honest decision.

Just a few weeks ago, Roxy was happy with Calliope, and now she wants to have his babies? John feels like he’s missing something important here, like he went for a bathroom break during the part of the movie where the plot twist happens.

Exactly.  And you haven’t even had time to process how you feel about HER again.  If something’s off, make it NOT off before you say yes.

Roxy practically attacks John’s mouth, she’s so excited. John shuts his eyes and kisses her back, still giddy and laughing against her lips. She kisses him until they’re both breathless, then pulls back so that she can gaze at him with glittering eyes.

ROXY: omg ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!

Yyyyeah, THAT was ominous.  Someone’s definitely fucking with this situation behind the scenes.  ...Maybe Roxy’s been hitting the Lollipop too when the camera’s away from her?

==>

Dammit, we skipped to the wedding without resolving ANY of their fucking issues first.  This is bad.

--oh my god we skipped to months PAST the wedding too.

JOHN: jane and jake are kinda, um, together now. TEREZI: OH GOD JOHN: and she basically ordered jake to catch the bouquet “or else.” JOHN: i was seriously afraid for him. and then he didn’t even catch it!

Jane.  Jane, come the fuck on.

Can’t we get ONE TIMELINE where Jane doesn’t end up terrible????  D:

JOHN: yeah. they’re all dating. JOHN: or rather... jade is dating them both. JOHN: dave and karkat haven’t... exactly figured things out yet. JOHN: and as much as i love jade, i don’t actually think she’s helped matters by putting herself in the middle of it. TEREZI: HMM >:[ TEREZI: SOM3HOW TH4T DO3SNT S33M R1GHT JOHN: i know.

Jade, you can’t force these things!!!

Can’t we get ONE TIMELINE where Jade doesn’t end up unhappy???? D:

JOHN: now i have to pretend to laugh and think it’s funny when she makes jokes about being the next to “tie the knot.” TEREZI: WOW D1D SH3 R34LLY GO FOR TH4T DOUBL3 3NT3NDR3 JOHN: what? TEREZI: WH4T JOHN: what do you mean? TEREZI: N3V3R M1ND

Jegus Christ.  Terezi, WHY did you have to go there.  I’ve seen enough nsfw RP to know exactly the fuckery you’re alluding to with Jade, NO.

JOHN: things’ll probably work out with those three anyway. things always work out between old friends. JOHN: we’ve all known each other for too long for anything to cause a permanent rift.

Fucking allusions to the Meat section...  D:

...okay, babies time.  There are babies.  Or at least one Roxy pregnancy and that earlier Vriskgrub.

TEREZI: 1T JUST S33MS... K1ND4 F4ST

YES, YES IT DOES.

TEREZI: 1 4LR34DY H34RD 4BOUT HOW J4N3 1S D4T1NG BOTH J4K3 *4ND* G4MZ33 4ND UNFORTUN4T3LY 1 DO B3L13V3 1T

What the FUCK is going on.  Who’s manipulating everyone.  Gamzee maybe??

TEREZI: H4H4H4 1 HOP3 YOU H4V3NT S33N TH3 P1CTUR3 D4V3 TOOK JOHN: dave has a picture?! JOHN: wait, never mind. i don’t want to know, and i definitely don’t want to see it.

Yeah that’s a cursed image if I ever heard of one

JOHN: so, what did you think, talking to dave and karkat? JOHN: did they seem... happy? TEREZI: NOP3 JOHN: oh my god, i KNOW, right? JOHN: the whole thing is such a mess, it’s hard to be in the same room with them these days. JOHN: i don’t even know the full story because dave won’t talk to me about it anymore, and jade seems to think that everything’s going just fine.

Dammit Jade, you forced your way in too early!!!  D:

And why can’t Andrew at least PRETEND to give us a slight, fishing-line-thin possibility that Jade might POSSIBLY have any sort of chance at an endgame workable romance with ANY OF HER GOSH DARN FRIENDS AT ALL???????

>:(

I just want Jade to be happy okay jegus

TEREZI: 4 TRU3 K1SM3S1S 1S JUST 4S MUCH YOUR L1F3 P4RTN3R 4S YOUR M4T3SPR1T 1S

Interesting quadrant talk

TEREZI: TH3 PO1NT OF 4 K1SM3S1S 1S NOT JUST TO M4K3 YOU 4NNOY3D OR 3V3N 4NGRY TEREZI: TH3Y SHOULD PUSH YOU TO B3TT3R YOURS3LF TEREZI: TH3Y SHOULD SH1N3 4 L1GHT ON TH1NGS 4BOUT YOURS3LF YOU WOULD OTH3RW1S3 1GNOR3 OR D3NY

EXACTLY.  I’ve been saying that about good black relationships for years.  And Jade’s plowing in and fucking things up without really making things ANY better AT ALL for anyone but herself, and only temporarily and in her own head at that.  :(

TEREZI: 1F 1 W3R3 3V3R TO DO BL4CKROM 4G41N, 1T WOULD H4V3 TO B3 LOW K3Y

Yeah, really pushing at what happens in Meat and stuff.

I love Terezi’s text-emote faces.

==>

Page 17... Someone told me to watch out for “Candy 18″ without any elaboration or context, so maybe I’ll split the post after this page so I can get to that one fresh? Hm!

My stomach is down to a low anxious simmer, so that’s good compared to before.  Maybe reading this whole Candy thing isn’t going to be so bad.  I can’t believe I’m not even halfway through.

He’s not sure why he feels the need to hide the fact that he’s talking to her.

Dammit, John.

It should be a beautiful image, but something about it roils John’s gut.

???

Is he catching on to some weird manipulation going on behind the scenes with his own metatextual awareness or?

Yep, Harry Anderson, heh.

He was. What’s bugging him about it is that Roxy didn’t seem to have any suggestions of her own.

YEAH THAT’S A HUGE GODDAMN RED FLAG RIGHT THERE.  WHAT IS HAPPENING TO EVERYONE.

...Oh, huh.  Now John’s having a bit of panic about how everyone suddenly feels like things are completely resolved with Lord English when they aren’t.  And how Rose seems almost HYPNOTIZED into not worrying about it, along with many of the rest of them.

The three gals in the room exchange a series of concerned glances. Do they truly think he’s crazy? Are they hiding something from him? John can feel himself trembling. It’s not possible that he’s remembering this wrong, is it? It can’t be. If he presses his eyes shut, he can still see the lines of the black hole cracking space apart around him. It seemed like such a big deal at the time, and then suddenly it felt like nothing at all. Why?

Are they, though?  Do they know they’re in a split timeline of sorts, or...?

You’re the ones not doing okay, he nearly shouts, but then realizes it’s just going to make him sound crazier than he already looks.

Yeah this is all cracking at the seams.

ROXY: oh of course that makes sense

ROXY YOU’RE NOT THIS BRAINLESS WAKE THE FUCK UP

Hm, looks like John’s not as comfortable on the placid planet as he is with someone giving him SOME sort of broader purpose.  A lot like Dirk, but LESS FUCKED.

JOHN: i’ve got a beautiful wife who loves me, but it’s not enough. i can’t even talk to her about what we’re going to name our stupid kid without it turning into some weird thing where she just goes along with whatever i want. JOHN: even when all i want is for her to want something different than what i want!!!

It’s like Steven stuck in Rose’s Room with that Connie clone, SU-ways.

Alright, clicking the next button and starting page 18 in the next post.

[5sos-kingsandqueens]

Mr. Book Store~chapter33~Luke Hemmings

MR BOOK STORE

CHAPTER 33

MCKINLEY P.O.V

Luke still wasn't 100% better but I needed to get my shopping done. It was the day before Christmas and both of our offices were closed so while I was shopping, Luke was hanging out with Ashton at our place. I was scared to leave him there but I knew I needed to.

We did most of our shopping online but there were some thing that wouldn't be shipped in time so I went and found the things that we couldn't order online.

I was a little nervous to head home. I hadn't seen most of them for a long time and I'm sure most of them were thinking that I wouldn't have lasted with Luke as long as we have. I was never the type of person to date someone. Luke was my first ever relationship that lasted past  a few months. Luke was my first ever relationship where I moved in with the guy.

It was crazy how fast my relationship moved with Luke. I wasn't complaining. I loved everything there was to love about our relationship. I loved living with him, even if he forgot to put the toilet seat down and I would fall into the toilet at 5am. Even when he left dirty bowls under the bed thinking I wouldn't notice. Even that one time he put too much laundry detergent in the washing machine and it overflowed all over the floor and we had to get it redone. And yes that was only two weeks ago.

He was the love of my life.

I was spoiling him for Christmas since he spoiled me for our one year. I had purchased us tickets to Vegas for the day after Christmas since we both had the time off from work. I also got him some new shirts, some new pj pants because I'm sick of waking up to his morning wood in my face, and I got him a new ipad since his other one broke and he hasn't been able to play his games.

Just as I finished shopping and was heading to get food Courtney called me.

"Oh my god. Can you come over?" She asked.

"Uh, yeah. But not for long I have dinner plans with Luke and Ashton."

"It won't be long just please hurry." She rushed into the phone before hanging up. I then called Luke to let him know that I was going to be a little late bringing dinner home. Courtney and Nick had moved to a house outside of the city so that they could raise a family and the house was beautiful.

I knocked on the door before she opened the door and pulled me inside.

"Jesus. What's going on?" I asked taking my jacket off and sitting at the island on a stool. She laid three pregnancy tests down on the counter. I picked them all up looking at her. "Are you serious?" I asked and she nodded smiling. "Oh my god! Congratulations!" I shouted jumping up to hug her. "This is amazing."

"We just found out." She smiled. "I didn't expect it to happen this soon but I'm so excited."

"Holy crap. I can't believe this. Does Nick know?"

"Yeah. He's out getting dinner and probably telling everyone that he's gonna be dad who he sees." She laughed. I looked at the tests that were still in my hand. I remember taking one of these with her and feeling panicked that I was pregnant and now that one of us actually were we could be excited.

"I'm so excited for you both!" I smiled. We sat around talking for an hour before I really needed to leave or I would be going home to two cranky grown men. I stopped and got the food from Outback that we had all agreed on.

I pulled in the driveway and found the cat sitting on the top of Luke's car.

"What are you doing?" I tried to get him to come down. I shook my head before heading inside. "Why is the cat on the car outside?"

"He's sitting on my car?" He asked and I nodded. Of course when it's his Porsche he's worried. He quickly rushed outside to get the cat off the car as I got plates out for us to eat. Ashton came into the kitchen to help me.

"How was your day?" He asked.

"Good. How was yours?" I questioned. "Hope Luke didn't annoy you too much." I giggled.

"Everything was fine. We just played video games and such." He shrugged before sitting down at the island. I grabbed two beers and a sparkling water for myself before sitting down next to him.

"Your dumbass cat scratched my car." He huffed putting the cat down and joining us at the island.

"Your dumbass shouldn't have let him out in the first place." I commented as I cut into my steak.

"I'm not dumb." He muttered making Ashton laugh. I wanted to tell him he was right and tell him he was something much worse but I kept my mouth shut.

"Wanna know something?" I said changing the subject.

"Sure." He commented.

"Courtney's pregnant."

"Oh that's nice!" He said. "We'll have to send her flowers or something." He smiled.

"Too bad it's not Nick's." I commented just to see what he would say. Both Ashton and Luke looked over at me.

"What?" Luke asked. "She cheated on him?" He asked and I nodded my head. "I'm gonna tell him." Luke said.

"No no no. I was joking. Don't tell him anything." Luke and Nick had gotten close since the wedding. They didn't hang out often but talked a lot.

"How far along is she?" Ashton asked.

"Not sure yet. She hasn't been the doctor." I answered. As much as I didn't want kids, I was so excited for her. Pregnancy was a beautiful thing and I was going to be here with her every step of the way.

"Have you guys talked about kids?" He asked and I nearly spit my steak out. "I'm gonna take that as a no." He chuckled.

"We are in no rush to have children, Ashton." Luke answered. I had one scare once and since then we have mostly been extremely careful about what we do. We have only had sex without a condom a few times and I make sure that it's a time when there would be no way I could get pregnant.

After dinner I cleaned up while they went back to doing whatever they were doing before I got here. Once I was finished I went to shower and then sat on the edge of the bed in just a towel. The talk of kids has never come up before and it scared the crap out of me.

*LUKE P.O.V*

I watched Ashton leave before heading to the bedroom where I thought McKinley was asleep but the light was still on. I walked inside to find her sitting on the bed, still in a towel, and she was staring at the wall.

"Kin?" I asked moving closer to her to not freak her out. "Kinley?" I squatted down and touched her knees. "McKinley!"

"What?" She asked moving her eyes to look at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked standing up and going to find her pj's. "Tell me."

"Do you want kids?" She blurted. It wasn't something that I ever thought about. I wasn't sure if I wanted kids. I never pictured myself as a father whereas my brother's did. Growing up they talked about when they became dads and I never did.

"Not really." I said to her and she nodded. "Maybe in like 10 or 11 years but no. Not right now. Don't let Ashton freak you out." I came back into the room and thankfully she was now standing and dropped the towel from her hair before pulling it up into a ponytail. She then dropped the towel from around her body and took the clothes from me.

"No more sex without condoms." She commented making me whine. "I'm serious, Luke. Neither one of us want kids so I'm not taking any risks. I think I'm gonna go get that thing in my arm."

"Nooo not the thot rod." I commented and she looked over at me.

"Excuse me?" She asked crossing her arms.

"Nothing." I commented changing my clothes.

"Don't call it that!" She said annoyed. Now I've done it. I sighed to myself before crawling into bed with my laptop.

"I'm sorry, baby." I said looking at her as she stood in the bathroom putting something on her face. She came over and sat on my side of the bed looking at me.

"I wanna punch Ashton in the throat." I laughed putting my laptop to the side and pulling her into me. "Why did he have to ask that?"

"He was just curious. We're getting to that age when people are going to start asking us about marriage and kids and we can't freak out every time they ask."

"I know." She sighed. "I just..." She trailed off looking at me.

"Listen to me, I wanna grow old with you. If that means a wedding fine, if you don't want a wedding thats fine too. If you want one child, fine, none? Fine. Five? That's a little too much." She giggled.

"I don't want five kids. Maybe two." She shrugged. "Still not sure about how the whole wedding thing though." She said wrapping her arms around me. "I know I want a life with you." She commented after a few minutes of silence. "If you want a wedding and a marriage, I'm down." She leaned back and smile at me.

"I'm not going to force anything." I commented. "We can discuss it when we're ready." I smiled rubbing my hands under her shirt. I was no where near ready to get married or have kids. I was in no rush to start that part of my life. I liked exactly how we were now.

*NEXT MORNING*

I was up before McKinley which sucked because usually I could sleep in but I was too stressed. We would be leaving for her families house tomorrow and I hadn't packed anything. I tried to be as quiet as possible as I moved through our bedroom and into the closet and then the bathroom.

"Luke." She whined from the bed. "Stop."

"We have to pack." She groaned and threw a pillow at me. "I mean I can pack for you. I love looking at your panties." She laughed and threw another pillow. I turned to look at her and she was sitting up leaning against the headboard. "You look so beautiful."

"You look like dog shit." She said making me laugh. I walked over to the bed and flopped down between her legs and rested my head on my hands. "The perfect pile of dog shit." She whispered playing with my hair.

"Thank you. That's the nicest thing someone has ever said to me." I commented moving my hands under her shirt and holding her boobs. I played with her nipples and she sucked in a breath. I smirked before sticking my head under and sucking on one.

"Luke." She moaned pulling her shirt off. She was already out of breath. I loved how sensitive her nipples were. She lifted her hips into me before I pulled back and got off the bed and went to the closet to finish packing. "Luke!" She whined. "Why would you do that to me?"

"It's fun." I shrugged smiling at her.

"I can do it myself. I did it for months before I met you." She commented and I leaned around the doorframe to look at her.

"You wouldn't." I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Bet." She smirked, a word that she picked up from the guys. I watched as she slowly slipped her pants off before opening her legs.

"McKinley Grace." I said. "Don't." She smirked before slowly bringing her hand to her clit and rubbing it making direct eye contact with me. I watched her for a few minutes before going over to her and pinning her hands down. "I'll do it." She sighed as I brought my tongue to her clit and flicked it.

"Luke." She moaned gripping my hair in her hands. I added two fingers into her and curled them making her moan loud and lift her hips. "You're not funny." She said when I laughed. I took my pants off and grabbed a condom. I put both of her legs on my shoulders and thrust into her. "Holy shit!" She gripped my arms and dug her nails into me.

She clenched around me making me groan. I pulled out and flipped her around and slapped her ass making her yelp. I spread her legs and thrust back into her. She gripped a pillow and held her to her face but I moved it away. I liked hearing her moan and there was no way I was going to let her moan into a pillow.

"Harder." She moaned out lifting her butt closer to me. I held her hips and thrust harder. "I'm gonna cum!" She cried out making me speed up. Her moans filled the apartment as she came and fell onto the bed. I slowly pulled out and tore the condom off before cumming on her back. "Fuck." She whispered and turned to head to look at me as I laid beside me.

"You're amazing." I kissed her. "Now. Let's go take a shower and start packing." I kissed her shoulder before getting up and grabbing a tissue to wipe her back off. I wiped it off before going to start the shower.

"You have a nice ass." She said coming into the bathroom and grabbing it. "Your arms are bleeding." She ran her finger over the blood.

"You need to learn to be nice." I slapped her ass as she stepped into the shower. I rushed through the shower and got out before she did. I dried myself and got dressed before starting to pack again. We would be with her family for four days but I packed extra clothes incase we got stuck there due to snow or anything.

McKinley walked into the closet naked and grabbed a bra out of the basket and slipped on a pair of panties.

"You're driving me nuts." I looked at her.

"That's the plan, Mr. Book Store." She smiled before slipping one of the shirts over her head. She sat down and started looking through her clothes. Her's were on the lower shelves so that she could reach it.

I had all of my things packed and ready to go. It always took her a lot longer than me to do any type of packing.

"Did you pack a button down shirt?" She asked coming into the living room where I was watching t.v.

"Yeah." I answered. "It's blue."

"Okay good." She said coming to sit next to me.

"Did you finish packing?" She nodded and grabbed the blanket off the side of the couch and laid down with her head in my lap. I played with her hair as I watched my show. She fell asleep and somehow I knew that this is where I needed to be. With her. For the rest of our lives. Me and her and our pets.

*LUKES DAYDREAM*

I woke up next to McKinley and kissed her good morning before heading to the bedroom next door to find out 5 year old son still sleeping. He had long brown hair and freckles covering his nose and under his eyes. Loki was laying under his arm and she was also sleeping.

I walked into the living room to clean up a little before making breakfast. The ring on my finger suddenly felt heavy as I looked at it. I smiled down at it and played it before getting back to making the pancake mix.

McKinley wrapped her arms around me.

"Good morning." She yawned.

"Good morning." I smiled looking over my shoulder at her. "Hungry?" I questioned. She nodded and stepped around to stand beside me and that's when I noticed her big belly.

"She's very hungry." She rubbed her hands over her stomach. She sat down at the table and read something on the Ipad before our son came out rubbing his eyes with Loki by his side. "Good morning, Dean." She smiled holding her arms out and he went to them. "Daddy's making pancakes." She said as she sat him on her lap and he rested his head on her shoulder.

"Can I watch cartoons?" He asked.

"Of course." She set him down and he ran off to watch cartoons. I finished cooking and set our plates at the table.

"Dean, come eat." I called to him. He ran in and climbed onto his chair and started eating. "What should we do today?" I asked looking at both of them.

"Zoo!" Dean shouted.

"That sounds perfect." I smiled looking at McKinley who nodded and played with Dean's hair. Our life was perfect. It was everything that we both wanted or needed and I had her. She was mine and I was hers and we were happy.

We were so so happy.

*I debated if I should have done the future thing but I decided to do it just to see what would happen. And yes I did name their son after Dean Winchester.*

[ficdirectory]

The Crossing: Deleted Scene: Jesus’s Meeting

Deleted Scene: Jesus’s Meeting

At 6 PM, Jesus puts on his headphones.  He has the bathroom fan on, and his white noise machine going in the living room.  The door is closed.

He logs into Skype.  Taps Pearl’s name.  Then Mari’s.  Then Char’s.

Their faces each fill a quarter of the screen.  Jesus smiles, feels Dudley under the desk, a warm weight on Jesus’s feet.

“Hey guys,” he smiles.

“Hey,” Pearl waves, smiling.  She has Cleo in her lap.  In the years since he’s seen Pearl in person, she seems both sadder and stronger.  Losing Gracie a couple years ago had been tough and it had taken her a long time to come around to being rematched.  But having Cleo’s been good for her.  According to Pearl, dogs earn trust faster than humans.

Mariana waves, too.  She’s on her bed, headphones on.  

“Hey.  Where’s Francesca?” Jesus wonders.

“Some big sleepover with all the girls in her class.  I bet she won’t get any sleep.”

“So, when can I come crash the Adams Foster House of Horrors, Mariana?” Char asks.

Mariana makes a face.  “Ew.  No.  That would make things so much worse.”

“Well, I am available if you need backup,” Char offers.

“Jesus is my backup.”

“Well, of course, I meant if like you both needed me?  I can be there.”

“I still wish I lived closer to all of you,” Pearl sighs.

“I know.” Jesus nods.  “It was so awesome meeting Char, but we all wished you could be there.”

“So, how are things going this week?” Pearl wonders, skillfully dodging any mention of travel.  Ever since she’d run into her attacker at the local post office, she’d had a much harder time going out.  Trusting people.  Traveling’s still not a thing she’s big on.

“Eh,” Char offers, and somehow, that single word communicates a lot.

There’s a knocking sound effect and Pav joins them.  Jesus and Mariana have never met her in person, but they like her.  Can trust her.  

“Hey, guys.  Sorry, I’m late, I just got Sammy down.”

“Aw, how is he?” Pearl wonders, her face softening into a smile.

“He’s fine.  Happy to stay up til all hours and have me read to him.  But Mama needs some time with her people.”

“Well we were just talking about how we’ve been this week.  Char’s ‘eh’” Pearl intones, catching Pav up.

“Ah, okay.  All makes sense now.” Pav smiles.  Wraps a blanket around her shoulders.

Char’s one of the best people Jesus has met this year, but she’s also one of the saddest.  She covers it with jokes.  With making other people happy.  Maybe because that helps her feel happy.

They’re deep into conversation.  Mariana’s sharing, which is rare, but Jesus just glances at his phone and sees he has a text.  Habit has him checking it.  He’d always rather know what’s going on.  It’s from Dominique who has been on pretty hardcore radio silence lately.  He checks it quietly under the desk.  The timestamp says she sent it hours ago.

Converting your baby sis into a Potterhead.  Sorry not sorry.

The picture is of Francesca’s hand holding one of Dominique’s costume props - a wand - one of the Harry Potter books is visible in the background.

“Earth to Jesus,” Mariana says.  “Are you even listening?”

“Sorry.  It’s Dominique.  Looks like Francesca went rogue from the epic sleepover.”

“Is she okay?” Mariana insists.  Pearl, Char and Pav are equally quiet, listening.

Jesus aims his phone at the camera so they can see the text and the picture.  “Looks fine to me. Let me just text back to make sure.”

Is that Frankie? What’s she doing there? he sends.

Dominique texts back in seconds:

I guess she thought you knowing how bad she wanted to spend the night would be enough for you to change your plans?  She showed up at the apartment and said no one answered her call at your place.

Jesus checks his missed calls.  One, from the apartments, just after he turned his phone volume down hours ago.  From the front doors.

She didn’t leave a message.  I had no idea it was her.

Dominique:

She called me.  She told me you told her to if you ever weren’t there.

Jesus:

So sorry.  I won’t be home for a bit yet.  Are you fine w/ her?

Dominique:

I am.  Text when you’re back, don’t knock.

Jesus:

Will do.  Thank you so much for taking care of her.

Dominique:

Of course.

Jesus doesn’t know where the lie comes from - that he isn’t home - when he clearly is.  It’s a symptom of his trauma - one of the most annoying.  Lying that comes on out of nowhere.  Lying when he doesn’t need to lie.  Because back Then, feeling vulnerable meant lying.  He felt that way all the time.  So he lied all the time.

He sets his phone down and sighs.  “Sorry, Mari, what were you saying?”

“Just that it sucks to not have anybody to talk to about this...I know we never really did when you were here...but now...I really miss you.  I’m glad we get to do this, but I feel really alone without you.”

“I know,” he echoes, understanding.  “It’s not like it would ever feel safe talking about this stuff at home, but I can always come get you and we can talk about it here.”

“Will you come and get us, too?” Pearl asks, petting Cleo.

“Don’t I wish?” Jesus sighs.

“What’s goin’ on with you?” Pav asks.  

“Who?” he asks looking around.

“You,” Pav says.  “You’re acting squirrely.”

Jesus raises his eyebrows.  He knows Pav probably the least out of their Skyport group, but she seems to have intense intuition and it’s usually right on.

He sighs again.  “I just lied to Dominique about where I was…” he admits softly.  “Told her I wasn’t home…”

“You don’t owe her your whereabouts, Jesus,” Pav comments quiet, but sure of herself.

“Why do you think you lied?” Pearl asks, trying a different approach.

“‘Cause talking about this stuff with you always makes me feel hella vulnerable and feeling vulnerable always meant I had to lie Before, so…  It’s just messed up ‘cause I almost didn’t even realize I did it til after.”

“What do you mean?” Mari asks.

“It was kinda automatic,” he admits.

“When any of us go on autopilot, disappear, whatever you wanna call it?” Char offers.  “That’s scary.  But it’s also a really human thing to do.  You ever drive home and have no idea how you got there?”

“Yes,” Pav says.  “Oh God, all the time.  Especially if Sammy’s not with me, keeping me on my toes.”

“It’s not really the same thing…” Jesus ventures.

“No.  Not this way.  This way it sneaks up on you,” Pav admits.  “But you’re surviving.  We get it.  And from what little you’ve said about Dominique?  She’d probably get it, too…Y’all still fighting?”

“I mean, we were, I thought,” Jesus considers.  “Now, I don’t know.”

“Don’t feel badly about this, Jesus.  It’s not a poor reflection on you.  It’s a reflection of your experience.  We revert to what we know.”

“You’re so reasonable,” he laughs, in spite of himself.

“Yeah, one of my many flaws…” Pearl ventures.

“Hey, we’re all flawed.  But being reasonable is not a flaw,” Char insists.

“More like a strength,” Pav nods.

“Yeah, Mari agrees.

They talk until late into the night.   Pav bailed early ‘cause she’s one the east coast and needs to be able to get up in the morning.  So, he, Mari, Char and Pearl talked until Mari nodded off in front of the screen.

“You guys, I should really go.  But I love seeing you.  I love hanging out.  Let’s do this again.”

“Same time next week?” Char asks.

“Yeah, works for me,” Jesus nods.  “Thank you.  Means the world to have you to talk to.”

“You, too,” Pearl nods, choking up.  “Okay, I have to go before I cry.”

“Mari, wake up and go to sleep,” Char insists.

“Mmm… I’m sleeping…” she murmurs.

“Bye,” Jesus says and signs off.  When he finally turns off his computer it’s  near 11 PM.  Checks his texts again, feeling a bit like the worst brother in the world.

Hey.  Sorry.  Back.  You can drop her off if you want.

Jesus waits a few minutes.  No response.  He gets up, urging Dudley out from under the desk.  He stands in the hall trying not to seem super creepy, whispering there:

“Dominique.  It’s me.  I’m here.  If you can hear me, I can take Francesca…” Jesus’s heart beats hard in his chest.  Can’t bring himself to knock.  For reasons he’s not entirely sure of, it brings up memories of the one Halloween he was allowed to Trick or Treat when he was There.  Where he tried to get secret messages to unsuspecting mothers with kids.

Jesus retreats and closes his door, locking it securely behind him.  Texts Dominique one more time:

Hey.  Stopped by for her but you both must’ve crashed.  I know you prob have to work in the AM.  I’m up early, so don’t worry abt waking me.  Drop her here anytime and thanks again.

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Secret Love Song - Harry Styles Mini Series (Part 17)

#16

“What the fuck!” you screamed pushing him off of you and slapping him in the face. 

You were about to hit him again when Jess shouted your name. “Y/N! Forget about him, let’s go!” She said. 

You knew she was right because the flashes and shouts got even louder and closer. You both got into the car quickly and you floored it as you pulled out onto the street. 

“Oh my god, are you okay?” She asked. 

“Fuck no, I’m pissed,” you mumbled. 

“I’m calling Harry to meet us at your flat,” She said taking her phone out of her purse. 

“It’s late,” you sighed. 

“I don’t care, he needs to know what happened besides do you want him waking up to pictures of you and dickwad macking?” She asked. 

“I can’t fucking believe he did that,” you said. “And how the fuck did he know we were there?” 

“My guess this is all Madison’s doing,” she said. “Harry, hey, wait, calm down, we’re fine, it’s just uh, can you meet us at Y/N’s flat? We need to tell you something. He’s on his way.” She told you. 

“He’s going to be so angry,” you said. 

“But not at you,” she said. 

“Have the pictures surfaced yet?” You asked. 

‘I don’t think so,” she said scrolling through her phone. “I mean it’s been like five minutes, surely it wouldn’t hit the internet yet.” 

“You never fucking know with these people,” you said. 

By the time you pulled into the parking lot, Harry was already there. As soon as you parked the car, Harry was there. 

“What happened?” He asked quickly. 

You were fuming, you couldn’t get the words out, so Jess filled him in. 

“We were walking out of the venue when Paps starting snapping pictures of us, some guy grabbed Y/N’s hand and took us to the car. We thought it was a security guard-” she said. 

“But it was my fucking ex!” you shouted. “And he fucking kissed me and the stupid ass cameras got every last fucking thing.” 

“What?” Harry said as you walked into your flat. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was a fucking set up,” you said. “He wanted to get his fucking fifteen minutes of fame or some shit.” 

“Or Madison is trying to make Y/N look bad again,” Jess suggested. 

“God, why can’t that bitch just stay out of my life,” you said throwing your shoes on the floor. 

Harry sighed wrapping his arms around you. “Baby, I know you’re upset, but try and calm down. This is what she wants to get you riled up.” 

“No, what she wants is to ruin my relationship with you,” you said. “She thinks those pictures are going to make it look like I’m cheating on you and you’re going to break up with me or something.” 

“Well, she can try all she fucking wants because that’s not going to happen,” he said firmly. “I promise you that.” 

“She’s jealous of you, Y/N,” Jess said. “She’s always been jealous of you.” 

“And I’m going to do everything I can to not let those pictures get out,” he said. 

“You can try, but I don’t doubt Madison finding a way to get them out,” you mumbled. 

“I’m sorry baby,” he sighed. “I feel this is partly my fault. If it wasn’t for me, there wouldn’t have been a reason to call the fucking paparazzi.” 

“God you two are too much alike,” Jess mumbled. “It wasn’t either of your fault’s. Neither of you called the damn paps and you didn’t arrange for some guy to mack on your girlfriend.” 

“I just, I’ve had enough of this shit tonight, I’m going to bed,” you said. “Will you stay?” 

“Of course,” he said. 

“If you two wanna take your frustration out on each other, I’m totally cool with that. I’ve got headphones,” Jess said. 

You couldn’t help but laugh. “We’re going to bed, that’s it,” you said. 

“Sure,” she said. 

You shook your head with a smile and went into your bedroom. You changed out of your dress and Harry got into bed wrapping his arms around you. 

“I love you,” he whispered. “We’re gonna figure this shit out and we’re going to make sure Madison and whoever the fuck else leaves you alone.” 

“I love you too,” you whispered pressing your lips against his. 

**

The next morning you woke up to the sound of Jess knocking your bedroom door. You groaned getting up from the bed and opening the door. 

“Jesus, Jess what?” you sighed. 

“Uh, the pictures have surfaced,” she said. 

“Damn it,” you groaned. 

“But that’s not it,” she said. “Well, that’s not all of it. It’s bad, really bad.” 

“What else is it?” You asked. 

She sighed handing you her phone. Look at the article that’s pulled up and read the headline. “Harry Styles’ Blogger Girlfriend Follows In Father’s Footsteps as She Cheats On The Heartthrob Pop Artist with Ex” Written by Madison King.

“What the fucking hell is she talking about?”  You said. “What does my father have to do with anything?” 

“Scroll down,” she whispered. 

You looked at her confused but do it, when you see a picture of your father with another woman with the caption. “Y/N’s Father has been seen out and about with a mystery woman while his wife of almost thirty years is nowhere to be seen.” 

“This... this... she’s fucking lying. How dare she bring my family into this,” you snapped. 

“What’s going on?” Harry said yawning. 

“That bitch brought my family into this,” you said showing him the article. 

“Y/N, you have to admit that it doesn’t look good,” Jess whispered. 

“My father loves my mother. He wouldn’t cheat on her. She probably set him up just like me or it’s fucking photoshopped,” you said. 

“Maybe you should call your parents, they still need to know what’s going on regardless if it’s fake or not,” Harry sighed. 

“I can’t believe this is happening,” you said shaking your head. 

“We’ll get to the bottom of this,” Harry said. “I’m making some calls right now.” 

“Thank you,” you whispered as Harry kissed your head. 

“Do you want me in here when you call your parents?” Jess asked. 

You nodded and sat on the bed. You grabbed your phone and called your Mom. You knew it was early but it was still odd for the phone to ring that long before she answered. 

“Y/N,” she said softly. 

“Hey, Mum, I uh... I don’t know if-” you started. 

“I saw,” she said. 

“I’m so sorry! None of it’s true. I wasn’t cheating on Harry and I don’t even know how or why Daddy’s name got brought into it-” you said. 

“Honey, there’s something I need to tell you,” she said. 

“Mum what is it?” you asked. 

“Things... things between your father and I they haven’t been good for a while,” she said. 

“Mum, what are you saying?” You whispered. 

“The article... it’s true, at least the shit about your father is,” she said. 

“No, no, that can’t be,” you said. 

“I’m afraid so, baby,” she sniffled. “Your father and I are getting a divorce.” 

“W-what?” you said tears welling up in your eyes. 

“We wanted to tell you, but -” she said. 

“How long? How long as this been going on?” You demanded. 

“The affair started over a year ago, I found out a little over four months ago and I filed for divorce the next day,” she sighed. 

“You’ve kept this from me for four fucking months!” you said. “And I found out from a stupid article like the rest of the world! If it wasn’t for that, would you have ever told me the truth?” 

“Yes, of course! It just we were trying to find the right time,” she said. 

“I hate to break it to you, Mum, but there is never a right time for that,” you said. 

“I’m sorry sweetie,” she whispered. 

“I I can't-do this right now,” you sniffled before hanging up the phone. 

You instantly broke down in tears and Jess wrapped her arms around you. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” she whispered. 

“I can’t believe it,” you cried. “My own father. My own fucking father is a cheater. And they both lied to me for four months about this shit,” you cried. 

Harry had just gotten off the phone and walked back into the room to see you crying and Jess holding you. You looked up at him. 

“It’s true,” you cried. “About my father. He’s been cheating on my mother for a year. They’re getting a divorce.” 

Harry’s eyes widen and he quickly sat next to you. “Baby...”

“How could he do this?” You cried. “How?” 

“I don’t know,” he whispered running his hands through your hair. 

“And now the whole world knows,” you said. “I hate him, I hate him so fucking much! What if their whole marriage was a lie?! He could have been fucking other people the whole time and he finally got caught.” 

“Hey, we don’t know that,” Harry said. “You don’t know that.” 

“I also didn’t know my parents were getting divorced because of an affair, but it still happened,” you said pulling away from both him and Jess. “I just need to be alone.” 

“Okay,” Jess said. She got up from the bed and hugged you before grabbing her bag and leaving. 

“I’m not leaving you,” Harry said. 

“Please, I really need to be alone,” you cried. 

He sighed. “I’ll leave you alone, but I’ll be in the other room in case you need me.” 

You crossed your arms and nodded. Harry got up from the bed and kissed your forehead as you closed your eyes. He walked out of the room and closed the door. When the door clicked, you dropped down to the floor and burst into tears. 

**

A couple of hours passed by before Harry made his way back into your room. He made some tea and brought it to you. You were laying in your bed now and he sat the mug on the bedside table. He brushed the hair away from your face. It hurt him to see you like that. Your eyes were red and swollen. Your cheeks were red and stained with tears. You were absolutely broken. 

“I brought you some tea baby,” he whispered sitting on the bed next to you. 

You sighed sitting up and taking it from him. “Thanks,” you said with obvious pain and hurt in your voice. “I didn’t know you were still here.” 

“Y/N, love, I told you I wasn’t going to leave you,” he said. 

“I’m glad you didn’t,” you said taking a sip. 

The warm liquid soothed your sore throat. “I thought if I went back to sleep, I’d wake up and it all be a dream,” you whispered laying your head on his shoulder. “But it’s not is it?” 

“Afraid not, baby,” he whispered wrapping his arm around you. “I wish it was because I hate seeing you like this. I want so badly to fix it, but I don’t know how.” 

“A time machine to go back in time before my Dad stuck his dick in another woman,” you mumbled. 

“Trust me, I’d spend all the money in the fucking world if I knew that was possible,” he said. 

“I feel like my whole life has been a lie,” you cried. “I looked up to them and I always told myself that’s the type of love I wanted. They always seemed happy and that they were in love, but now I know it was all a lie.” 

“I’m sure at one point in time it was the truth,” he whispered. 

“How could he just throw everything away like that?” You sniffled. “If he wasn’t happy, why didn’t he just walk away.” 

“I wish I knew,” he whispered. “But I know someone who will know...” 

“I’m not talking to him,” you shook your head. “I don’t want to see him.” 

“I know you don’t, but maybe some of this shit would make more sense if you heard him out,” he said. 

“I can’t, not right now,” you sniffed. “It’s still too fresh.” 

“I understand,” he nodded. “I’ll be there whenever you are ready.” 

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this,” you sighed. “You have the tour starting soon and I know you don’t need this shit on your plate.” 

“Don’t you worry about that,” he said. “This is not your fault. You’re my girlfriend, I love you, and I want to deal this with you because you don’t deserve this and you sure as hell don’t deserve to go through this shit alone.” 

You scooted over and sat in his lap as you held your tea in your hand. 

“Are you hungry?” He asked. “I can have something ordered in.” 

“I’m okay,” you said. 

“Are you sure? You haven’t eaten anything all day,” he said. 

“I’ll eat later,” you whispered. “I promise.” 

He nodded and held you close to him. You started to tear up again, so you hid your face in Harry’s chest. His arms tightened around you and he rocked you a little as you cried in his arms. He put his cheek to your head as he held you, tearing up himself because all he wanted to do was take your pain away, but he was helpless. 

[jacquelineshyde]

Do you know a list with all the little details of Hyde screwing up Kelso in season 4 in front of Jackie? lol

I’m sure there must be one, so you should probably ask @those70scomics / @thestupidhelmet, she knows EVERYTHING. But on the top of my head…

Season 4, episode 2: Kelso gets lost in Funland and Jackie spends the day with Hyde and Fez. The Funland pet tries to feel her up and Hyde goes for a quick I’m gonna punch you in the face and put my foot on your ass action against the dude to scare him off, not before first making sure she was safe afar from the guy.

Season 4, episode 5: Hyde kicks Kelso in the nutts after he tries to make a joke about what his favorite ballet is. Jackie is right beside Hyde and laughs her ass off at her boyfriend losing the ability of having children.

Season 4, episode 8: Hyde tells Jackie about Kelso using the money she gave him to buy himself a pinball machine for The Hub after he said he was going to use that money to buy her stuff.

Season 4, episode 12: Hyde and Jackie play Joseph and Mary in the Eric’s play for Christmas. She says baby Jesus has her eyes and Hyde says he has his hair, because you know that Mary wouldn’t be a virgin with that Joseph.

Season 4, episode 13: Fez’s imagination plays a big role in this list some times, but in the beach sequence, you can clearly see Hyde holding Jackie’s hand even when she’s supposed to be with Kelso. “The floor’s real shiny, but I see your hiney”, says the guy who probably had the biggest boner in the story of the pining-for-your-friend’s-girl.

Season 4, episode 15: Jackie spends most the prom with the boys and you can see Hyde eying at her and Kelso being a couple with this expression of ‘and then Satan said: here, have feelings”; after, he draws a unibrow on her face because fuck feelings. (Just a thing: Jackie smiles lovingly at him while he goes after Ferguson calls him up at the beginning of the prom. She also made him The Tin Man in her Wizard of Oz dream, what did The Tin Man needed? It’s an interesting thing to think about).

Season 4, episode 20: Who’s the guy saying ‘welcome’ to baby, angry Jackie? Yup. Who’s the guy sitting at her side to see pictures from their yearbook even when in season 2 he made it clear he didn’t want to? Yeah. Who’s the guy putting a hand on the bottom of Jackie’s back who isn’t her boyfriend? Exactly. Also, you see her laughing her ass off when Donna tells the story of how much Hyde is always kicking Kelso’s ass.

Season 4, episode 23: “Oh, hey. Happy birthday!” and then she kisses him and he loses the ability to talk or to move, like for real, look at the scene and he’s just standing there with his hand on her back again. He moves it for a second towards her neck, probably going on instincts for a real kiss, but quickly behaves and leaves it on her back and just– stands there.

Season 4, episode 24: Again, Fez must have known something the others didn’t because in his mind, Hyde takes Jackie and dances too damn close to her. Like, what the hell, Kelso is right beside her. But Fez’s imagination!Hyde has no chill at all.