#but... before the line by dodie. thank you for that girl my god

[carcinized]

thank god dodie wrote before the line

[captainimprobable]

Late ask game entry! No Apologies: 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 11, 12, 13, 15

OOOOH HELLO 2: What scene did you first put down? I actually started this with the very first scene! That doesn't always happen with my fics but it did for this one. 3: What’s your favorite line of narration? oh this thing is over 36k so I have no idea but I think the first time I sat back and thought "hey that was good" was "They'd ridden this horse before. They knew the equine drill." 4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? Dialogue is my absolute fave thing to write so it's impossible to choose but I love when Luz babbles. Example: "I just had this dream about an otter, right? And he was teaching me-wait, actually, I think it might’ve been a girl otter? I didn’t wanna assume, not that it matters, gender isn’t real and otters probably don’t care about that, so, whatever, anyway, I wanted to-” 5: What part was hardest to write? Any kiss scene but also the scene where Amity has to move all her stuff out of her parents house for the last time. 7: Where did the title come from? I just kind of realized that the phrase "no apologies" became a thing that Luz and Amity said to each other as the story went on, so I chose that! 11: What do you like best about this fic? What it means to me. I just get so warm when I think about it. 12: What do you like least about this fic? IT'S SO CHEESY. I don't regret writing it that way, because it was intentional and it's perfect for them. But I'm not really like that naturally, it was so syrupy sweet it was a little gross lol 13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading? I listened mostly to alexrainbird compilations on youtube. I can't listen to songs I know when I write bc I get distracted, but this account has perfect background music, and sometimes I found songs I ended up adding to my playlists! (also not specific to my playlist but Would You be So Kind by dodie and I Do Adore by Mindy Gledhil are Lumity songs I promise) 15: What did you learn from writing this fic? God, so much???? I learned that I CAN write, actually. I learned that dialogue is my favorite thing. I learned that it's possible for me to actually like something I write. I learned how rewarding posting a multichapter fic once a week is. So much. THANK YOU FOR THIS I loved answering these and you gave me so many options!!!!!!

[starbuckie]

Malia’s 400 Follower Writing Challenge!

Hey there, my gorgeous, lovely followers! First of all, thank you so, so much for 400 followers!! This is incredible that there are 400, let me repeat, four-fucking-hundred people following me on this hellsite, that enjoy my friendship and/or writing. It’s nearly been a year on tumblr, and every piece of writing I’ve published, the friends I’ve made have just been absolutely monumental in my life. 4 is one of my lucky numbers, and so as a tribute to that times 100, I figured that now would be a great time to have a writing challenge. As I work on a few fics of my own, I’d also love to see what y’all come up with as well, so let’s go :)

CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

rules (ugh i don’t like that word let’s go with guidelines):

- you don’t actually gotta be following me, but that’d be pretty cool

- if you could be so kind, even if you don’t participate, please please reblog, as that would be very much appreciated

- to participate just send me an ask with the prompt or prompts you’ll be using, and the character you’ll be writing for. you can definitely choose two prompts from separate categories, but remember that prompts will become unavailable after two requests

- i’m pretty versatile with fandoms, so i’m gonna say marvel, harry potter, supernatural, star wars, criminal minds, bridgerton, and any sebastian stan characters, but if you’d like to write for a character not in any of those fandoms just tell me in the ask (so basically any fandom, i don’t know how to speak)

- please be x reader! doesn’t have to be fem!reader at all, but please make it y/n

- the fics can be any length, a drabble, headcanon, oneshot, twoshot, series, just make sure to tag me in any multipart fics because i’d love reading all your amazing fics

- while any fics are welcome (angst, fluff, smut, darkfic), i draw the line at incest and pedophilia, and make sure to TAG AND WARN YOUR FICS PROPERLY. if you are under eighteen and i see you have requested to write a smut fic, i will say a big fat NO because you should not even be reading that.

- to make sure i see it, make sure to use the tag #mals400followerwritingchallenge and tag me in it

- if i don’t reblog your fic within two days just shoot me an ask or message because i may just be dead or my tumblr is being stupid, and i will get my ass in gear

- all the fics will be put on a masterlist i’ll have on my masterlist as they are submitted, and it will be reblogged every time a new fic is added

- i know a lot of us may be in school right now or have jobs and families and shit just happens and sucks sometimes so i’m gonna make the deadline june 30, and you can sign up or submit any fics until then :)

NOW FOR THE PROMPTS:)) btw, all the line prompts are from @a-cure-for-writers-block​

angst line prompts:

“This will be the last time you lie to me.”

“You know it’s not like that.”

“How could you think this wouldn’t hurt me?”

“You’re never going to be the same after this.”

“I just think it’d be best if we never met.”

“I can’t believe you would even think to leave me like this.”

“You never loved me, did you?”

“It didn’t have to be like this, but now you’ve ruined everything.”

“What did you want once this was all through? Tell me!”

“You could’ve- could’ve stayed. You could’ve helped me fix things.”

“This isn’t going to be fixed. You’ve ruined this for good now.”

“I hope I’m not put in the same part of hell as you.”

“When did you think you could hurt me again? Today? Tomorrow?”

“You’re back in my life and I want to die again.”

“You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”

“You put yourself in that position! That wasn’t my doing!”

“When was it that you realised that you didn’t love me?”

“I really think it’s easier for people when I’m not around.”

“I know, but you didn’t have to use them like that!”

“I’m not someone who breaks easily, but I must commend you on this.”

random line prompts:

“You look like you’re going to punch me.” “I was actually going to kiss you, but if you’re into that sort of thing then I’m out.”

“I mean, if we hadn’t met at a strip club.”

“Can we get coffee?” “Is this a date or is it because you’ll end up strangling someone if you don’t get caffeine in your system.” “I shouldn’t have asked.” (@spaceodditybarnes with Bucky Barnes or Chris Beck)

“… and then he came up up to me and kissed me until I was-” “I’m going to have to tell you to shut up now.”

“We should do this again sometime!” “I would honestly rather do anything other than that again.” (@extremelyblackandwhite)

“I hope you don’t think that we all act like this.” “There’s more than just you? Jesus.”

“I’m just tired.” “That’s understandable. Go and sleep, I’ll sort everything out.”

“You drank it?!” “Yes, it was quite delicious, did you know?”

“Can you just act normal for this evening. It’s all I’ll ask of you.” “You’re asking for a lot then.”

“I haven’t got laid in like forever.” “Oh sorry, did I look like I was offering? Because I’m most certainly not.” (@adorkably​)

smutty line prompts:

“Do I look like I’m messing around? Do I look like I won’t punish you?”

“Fucking is a reward, but you haven’t been good.”

“Move an inch and you won’t be coming tonight.”

“You look just about good enough to eat.”

“Take your clothes off. Right now.”

“We’re really going to fuck here? What if someone sees us?” (@bvckysmoon​ with Bucky barnes)

“Hands behind your back.”

“Open your mouth for me, baby.”

“Is it good when I touch you here? Or maybe here?”

“You’re so in for it when we get home.”

“You can take it, you’ve done it before.”

“Just a little more.”

“I won’t apologise for marking you up, everyone should know you’re taken.”

“Suck on my fingers.”

“You look so good with my hands around your neck.”

“Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby.”

“Look how good you take it.”

“My baby, you did so well.”

“God, you feel amazing.”

“Swallow. All of it.”

tropes:

enemies to lovers

friends to lovers

mutual pining

arranged marriage

sex pollen (@jimmypagesandbrianmayshair)

sharing a bed

slow burn

arranged marriage

unrequited love

childhood sweethearts

fake relationship

roleswap

established relationship

AUs:

Highschool AU

Soulmate AU

College AU (@spaceodditybarnes with Bucky Barnes or Chris Beck)

Coffee Shop AU (@jimmypagesandbrianmayshair)

Detective AU

Historical AU

Bodyguard AU (@i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend​ with Steve Rogers)

CEO AU

Bakery AU

Royal AU

Mob AU

Mythology AU

Modern AU

Hospital AU (@captainscanadian with Bucky Barnes)

Bakery AU

Demon AU

(Guardian!)Angel AU

Criminal AU

songs:

Burn - Hamilton

Dancing With Your Ghost - Sasha Sloan

Tears Dry On Their Own - Amy Winehouse

Silly Girl - Chloe Moriondo

Me and My Husband - Mitski

Something - The Beatles

Uptown Girl - Billy Joel (@blueberrythor with Bucky Barnes)

I Can’t Help Myself - Four Tops

She - dodie

Let’s Fall in Love for the Night - FINNEAS (@subtlebucky with Valkyrie)

Everybody Loves Somebody - Dean Martin

A Sunday Kind Of Love - Etta James

[lau-rea]

i understand this is a primarily a mcyt account but dodies new album came out and i will now give my FULL review and MY interpretation of the songs:

air so sweet: so somber and quiet, like a friend whispering in your ear. i feel like i’m walking in a forest. i love it.

hate myself: amazing, impeccable, show stopping. it’s honestly a very relatable song and i find myself constantly keying in on the lyrics.

i kissed someone (it wasn’t you): HOT GIRL SUMMER but regretful. dodie is so good at capturing the vibe of an uncomfortable moment and the arrangement is so accurate to that feeling of missing love </3

cool girl: favourite song!! it makes me feel so good inside and i genuinely feel like i’m peaking into a different world every time i listen to it. it’s so dodie but also makes me feel like i’m watching a new person create themselves.

special girl: IT STARTS SO STRONG BUT SO CALM. it’s such a shoulder shrug to that idea of being perfect and trying to fix yourself for others. i love it.

rainbow: *cries in internalized homophobia* as a bisexual who spent a lot of hours hating myself jumping between labels...i relate so much.

?: I FEEL LIKE IM WALKING THROUGH RAIN AND ITS SINGING TO ME. THE COLD ON MY SHOULDERS AS I STARE INTO THE CLOUDY SKY wow.

four tequilas down: rejection anxiety and drinking your feelings away?? needing each other when you know it isn’t healthy?? immmm cryinggggg

. (aka full stop) : VIOLINNN AND CELLOOOO!!! after four tequilas down it feels this gives me the vibes of like an overwhelming sense of needing to take a break but too afraid of letting go.

sorry: heartbreak written in beautiful narrative. the end of endings. becoming the problem you feared creating and that guilty feeling.

when: this is a hard cry song. it’s so somber than when she originally released it...it sounds like a goodbye now rather than asking for something back <\3

before the line: realization and that feeling of losing childhood. pretending to be optimistic when you’re too much of a realist.

im not gonna include the demos and bonus tracks because i wanted to focus on the new music more than anything. i love this album it’s so good especially for a debut. dodie is so talented, i thank the gods every night for her blessings. <3

[autistic-stedebonnet]

I warned you that this was gonna be very long cuz all of dodie’s songs are just so good. its basically all angst but blame dodie for writing an album that’s all sad. I included a line from each that really stuck out but like the entire song applies to all of them

Air so sweet - Solana “oh this is what I’m living for” - they’re living for the little things, the excitement, the freedom, not for the pressure that’s being placed on her being the heir

Hate myself - Solana about Eisa “when you go quiet I hate myself” - when Eisa gets hurt and stuff she goes quiet, voice soft, and barely saying anything, after Eisa finds out they lied to her she goes quiet and Solana hates it and feels so bad

Cool girl - Eisa “how much of a tongue can I bite until we notice blood” “cool girl will be different I’ll be quiet I’ll be easy” - she constantly isn’t saying as much as she wants to cuz of her stutter cuz it’s so hard and she avoids talking but hates it, and she quiets herself to not rock the boat and just goes with the flow so people will like her

Special girl - Eisa “I found my worth in this world by proving I was a special girl time and time again” - she constantly feels the need to prove that she’s smart and special because people constantly assume she’s stupid cuz of her stutter

Sorry - Solana “and I know, I’ve always known, in the end I’d be sorry, and that’s all I am now, and it’s all I can be, is sorry” - after Eisa finds out they’re the heir and just regrets it and is so sorry that she lied to her and her bodyguard friend always told her it wouldn’t end well

When - Eisa “am I the only one wishing life away? Never caught up in the moment, busy begging the past to stay” - she’s always so panicked about the past and about everything that she never just sits and lives in the moment

Before the line - Eisa “I used to smile at every star and thank the sky now I look up to all the duds and wonder why I feel like all of them are gone, can’t feel a single one” she’s always loved the stars so so much but after finding out about Solana she’s just hurt and it doesn’t feel the same cuz the sense of wonder she feels when she looks at the night sky is the same as when she was with Solana

Guiltless - Solana about their parents “oh I can tell you believe you’re guiltless” - their parents are just oblivious to the issues in their country cuz of their privilege and when she finds out through Eisa and her brother she confronts them and can’t believe that they think it’s perfect and that they’re guiltless

Boys like you - Solana’s bodyguard friend about Eisa’s brother “you thought you could charm me and damn it you’re right so watch me fall for every damn stereotype” “well there’s a name for boys like you and yet I feel lucky to hear all the lines I hate that they shake me up everytime” brother is just super flirty and bodyguard really doesn’t want to like him but he does and thinks that he’s a player but he actually isn’t

Bored like me - just bodyguard and brother’s dynamic after they find out about Solana “because we sit here both with this knowing there’s something under forever growing” they both see things in black and white but from opposite perspectives so it’s like friends to “enemies” to eventually friends to lovers and during the enemies part it’s just that

Let go - Solana about Eisa after she finds out “I think it’s time now to let go remember your training and let go. There is a night I return to  I would’ve sworn on it you loved me like I loved you. Wasted another day still hoping that you say that. I care but you don’t care” do I even need to explain this and just the training being their training to be heir and not get too attached

Bite back - bodyguard to solana “there are knots I can help undo my dear I’m only trying to help you” he’s trying to help her when they’re hurt at Eisa’s reaction but they don’t want his help

One last time, please - solana to Eisa afterwards or actually this works for both “one last time please, like you’re mine again, just for a moment can we pretend that nothings changed at all?” pretty self explanatory they just want everything to go back to how it was before

Anything - solana to Eisa or maybe vice versa afterwards “oh I would do anything to be with you” same as one last time please

Don’t quite belong - Eisa “fake it till you make it, but I’m getting it wrong. Think I’ve figured it out that I don’t quite belong.” Her feelings with social anxiety and feels like she doesn’t quite belong anywhere

i still feel like I have to apologize for the length tho so sorry but I’ll probably she up doing this with her other albums too cuz she <3

oh my god no do not apologize for the length holy shit. this is fantastic iris your bRAIN- ilysm /p

this is literally just- ahhhhhhhhhhhh i want to take solana and eisa and just give them both a very long hug omg. this made me cry, take that as a compliment. <3

[hmajorgirl]

so here I am for old times sake. it’s been 5 years and a lot has changed. but i’m kinda still the same. maybe my inner monologue doesn’t sound as self-assured as it did when I was 15. maybe i don’t romanticise the shit out of every 2 second eye contact i make with cute strangers. maybe i don’t grammar well anymore because i think it’s a cute look. Oh wow. so much of the world has changed. facial recognition, instagram shops, the pandemic... so many new songs i play on repeat until i’m sick of them. i’m a lot less motivated than i was before, and i’m ashamed to admit that. i have smile lines. i feel more and more defeated everyday (actually, we’re trying to work on this). but yh the sad emo vibes never quite dissipated like i dreamed they would, i felt so betrayed by the order of things and the way of the world that i lost a lot of hope. gave up on myself (a bit... a lot sometimes). but other times, it’s gucci. i feel like i’m definitely more cringe than cheesy now. not sure if that’s a good thing, pretty sure it’s not. 

hmm. what hasn’t changed? still unfortunately in love with love, but i can mostly see the difference between real life and the cute shit that happens in my head. i’m learning to have faith, to trust. to start living life and exist in the same dimension as other people because even though it sucks, it’s better than existing alone in your head. i realised that studying will only get you a quarter of the way to things and unfortunately stopped that shit. it wasn’t a good idea because i didn’t pick anything else up. i’m still writing songs. still singing them badly. BUT my singing has improved marginally:) i still love my parents, family is all good (touch wood). still a bit too impressionable but we’re working on building a stronger willpower and independence. still love taylor swift. still want to run away to the creative industry. still want to runaway sometimes (in general). I still write! sometimes. wow, i guess some things really just don’t change. 

The good? Hmm my eyes have been opened to the multi-dimensions of wealth and inequality and cultural differences that exist in the world. I am thankful for that and didn’t know that money could buy so much. but simultaneously feel disheartened that the discrepancy is so large between people at birth. inequity is real and idk how i feel about that because i really believed in the natural justice system. and then I was so caught up in these feelings of betrayal and injustice that i forgot that i am lucky enough to have the opportunity to change things. I forgot about it for 5 years and now it feels like it’s too late. i know it’s not. 

that was a digression. 

the good. okay. hmm discovered korean dramas and the mastery that is cinema and how it evokes emotions through stories and idk that’s just a piece of my soul coming together. i work out occasionally. sadly i stopped dance but i’m vowing to sign up for classes once i have the money. i got a spotify membership and spend my days making playlists for myself and it’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I really hate how my inner core is so soft and romantic, it’s not fit for the capitalist society that we’re living under. i have friends, i like them, they like me. there is a guy, maybe. there were a few guys actually. i’m not sure how long this one is going to be around for GAHHH omg imagine if i re-read this in five years time and i’m laughing at myself because he screwed me over so bad idk. i have bad self-esteem issues. i am kinda joking, kinda not. okay, i like him but let’s move onto another topic. i’m trying my best to adult and be honest with my feelings and approach things with feigned maturity to mask my pre-teen thoughts. let’s leave it at that:)

i remember that taylor said that the lucky one was the hardest song to write for the red album. because it was solely about her and her life. no guys (apart from the second verse but okay that’s not central to the song). it’s the same for me. i don’t want to talk about the direction of my professional life because it scares me more than messing my life up romantically. for now, i’m beginning to see the role of passion and interest in work and it’s importance. I’m trying my best to walk towards that direction because i know that ultimately i want a career that I would love to work overtime for. but i’m still trying to balance the scales between what i want and the confinements of reality. i need to make money. sometimes it feels like an either or kind of situation and i don’t know what to do. but maybe this is just standard 20 year old thoughts. okay but we have 2 months left of uni so i’m going back to studying. i hope that when i look back on this i would have a 2:1 bachelors (but let’s be honest we want a first) 

some final thoughts for 25 year old me because why not make your tumblr a time-capsule? dodie-style. 

what are you listening to right now? I’m listening to 21 by gracie. Are you seeing anyone? Honestly, I don’t see you in a steady relationship because i feel like your self-esteem will get in the way of things - either that or you get your shit together and focus on your career too much. I hope it’s the latter. I hope family is all well and healthy. call them. right now, if you’re not living with them. DEAR GOD PLS don’t still be living with them. OH GOD DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FLAT/HOUSE?? where are you by the way? london? what are you doing right now career-wise? how’s it going? is it what you want to do? does it fit in with your life plan? please tell me you have a life plan by now. i hope i’m proud of you. i hope you’re working hard. how are you? really? are you rich enough to afford therapy and weekly spin/pilates sessions? what’s up with your social circle? are you still writing? ARE THERE DRONES EVERYwhere? How’s chloe? Elizabeth? Jason? Update me, what happened with the guy - i want to hear a story. do you cook now? did you manage to turn your personality type from a 2/9 enneagram to a 3? bitch we gonna work on this. do you still write songs? can you sing? you don’t have kids right lmao pls no god help us. what’s your yearly salary post-tax? did you start dancing again? did you start to learn piano again? what happened with the pandemic? how long were you quarantined for? do you still make spotify playlists haha? what tv series are you currently binging? do you hate me? please tell me your still blogging ur life on ur private instagram. how many followers do you have now? who are you having conversations right now with on facebook? what are your colleagues like? are you less people orientated now that you’ve realised that they cannot provide you with the love that you are depriving yourself of from yourself? DO YOU READ? are you the perfect health-freak, ig-girl, smart business woman, go-getter in her white suit at the glass media company that you dreamed about being at those dark spin sessions? GOD IMAGINE. I hope you are but i don’t have faith right now. pls tell me you don’t teach (or you teach and ur salary is insane in a good way). are you a journalist? you didn’t go into consulting right? did you study again after uni? are you the screenwriter that you’ve dreamed about? did your poetry account blow up and now you’re a full time poet? I still kinda hope you work at a nice glass office (brand consulting, advertising, media, journalism) and wear cute coords suits to work. and i hope you’re writing on the side because it’s who you are. I hope you’re reading lots and I hope you’re super smart and switched on. I hope you’re memory has improved a lot. I hope you’re in love, I hope he loves you back and I hope you know that too. I hope you have a great and healthy relationship with your parents and see your extended family and grandparents often. I hope everyone is healthy and I hope you took your parents to duck and waffle like you wanted (don’t do it when you’re poor though). I hope you’re taking care of your health and eating well. I hope you’re still dreaming in a realistic way. I hope you have great mentors and a supportive friend group. I hope you’re living your best life. re-read the defining decade. but i hope you don’t reminisce to much anymore and don’t write too many songs because you’re 25, time to break out the novel shit. I hope you’ve travelled alot. I hope you spend a few more summers in china falling in love with life and yourself again. how is your chinese? are you still a romantic? tell me, have you changed, if at all? do you read the news? are you less cynical about yourself and more realistic or less optimistc about the world? I hope you are. contingencies are important.

are you excited for the future? I hope you are. if not, please change, you have time, all you need is faith and diligence. hope you’re holding up well. Me? at 20? I’m excited about what my 25 year old self is going to be like, like i was excited to see what my gcse results were going to be like. I hope the results are the same. work hard. i love you. hope you love yourself more. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. have faith. :) i can’t do much for you, but i hope i did a lot to get to where you are right now. hoping is useless, i’m going to work now. 

take care x

[tangerinesunbeam]

so kasia @statementsue tagged me......Two Whole Weeks Ago to list my top 5 albums of 2019 and i am a procrastinator to the extreme so y’all are getting them today!!!!

this is in order of release and not in order of which i like most becos i cannot make decisions to save my life and ALSO behind a cut becos I Do Not know how to shut up so here goes:

dodie - human

i had never listened to dodie before i listened to this album, and i still haven’t really gone through her back catalogue which i Must, but. this little album is pretty solid, and i like every song on it which is always great.

personal highlights: she!!!!!! i was listening to this album just as i was having Thoughts and Feelings about my own sexuality and after reading about how the artist herself was having the same thoughts when she was writing it, the lyrics really hit home and mean a great deal to me. also monster is an absolute bop! from the bridge to the end? incredible

lizzo - cuz i love you

i cannot put into words how much lizzo means to me. just by existing and being herself she makes me feel more confident and in love w myself than ever before, and i feel like the album is just a massive extension of that?? absolute bops top to bottom and also she’s soooo hot it makes me wanna scream.

personal highlights: like a girl and soulmate for the lyrics, like yes i AM my own soulmate!!! i DO know how to love me!!! and cuz i love you and jerome for the sheer power of her voice. heart eyes, motherfucker.

lana del rey - norman fucking rockwell!

i never begrudge artists growing and evolving and changing their sound, but unforch i haven’t really been into lana’s albums from the past few years - ultraviolence was her last album i was really into. AND THEN nfr!!!!!! soooo good, right up my alley sound-wise and one of the most cohesive top to bottom albums i’ve ever listened to??? such a return to form imo.

personal highlights: not entirely sure what it is about mariners apartment complex but god does it make me Feel Things. also honourable mention to doin’ time for the fact that she’s singing abt a girl!!!! we love a singer who keeps original pronouns and is happy to make it gay.

joseph - good luck, kid

now i’m bending the rules a little bit because i actually only first listened to this album this year But it came out last year and i was first introduced to them just before midnight on new year’s eve when they were on jools holland so it COUNTS okay!!!! Anyway they’re a group of three sisters and the harmonies on this album are juuuust incredible. the album’s full of personally v relatable lyrics within absolute bangers - it’s a no-skip album for me easily. no info on the internet on whether any of them are gay but there are gender neutral pronouns throughout the album which is niiiice.

personal highlights: i’ll have to really live w this album for a bit longer in order for Clear Favourites to emerge but early contenders are the title track good luck, kid and in my head for their Hashtag Relatable lyrics, and shivers is just absolutely beauuuutiful.

harry styles - fine line

let’s ignore the fact that i’ve basically overplayed this after not even having it for three weeks lmao, if you thought it wasn’t gonna be here then you’re just playing yourself. henry’s only gone and done it, and i am so thankful to have this album in my life. sophomore slump who??? the pink album will always have a v special place in my heart but my god if fine line doesn’t expand and build and improve on it in basically every way possible. looking forward to listening to this in five, ten, twenty years’ time and still marvelling at how good it is.

personal highlights: fine line!!!!!!!! my first listen was in bed in the dark, earphones in, eyes closed, under the covers, and my god did i sob. fine line the song is everything i ever wanted from a song from henry, emotional and relatable and orchestral and christ, that falsetto. the way the song builds and then that last minute and a half really blows me away every single time. look out for me on tour in birmingham and london where i will be Sobbing throughout this entire song. i could probably Also write a paragraph about every song on the album but i will Withhold for the sake of anybody who is still actually reading this lmao.

honourable mentions to: hozier - wasteland, baby! (faves go to be and NFWMB even tho it wasn’t on the album, i play by my own rules) and i’m copying kasia here but nicholas britell really did go the fuck off with the succession ost (faves go to andante in C minor, strings con fuoco, and andante in C minor - solo piano version -- the drama! the panache!!!)

Anyway i did not mean for this to get as long as it is!!!!! maybe my new year’s resolution should be brevity in writing lmao. i have literally no idea if any of you have already done this because it went round Weeks ago but if not and you fancy it i’ll tag @olreid @aheartofgold @girluptighty @womantm @dykes4louis @lesbianlouis @woolsocklesbian @glasscushion @harrysyellowflares obv no pressure!!!

[lexilucacia]

Sick Of Losing Soulmates

Title: Sick Of Losing Soulmates

Relationships: Moxiety, background Logince

Words: 1800

TW: Non-binary, self-deprecation, kissing, mentions of shirtless, crying, coming out

Based on: a prompt by @dysaniadisorder

(Not based on dodie’s song, I’m just in love with dodie currently)

I am so sorry this took so long, I'm just dealing with some shit with family and illness and stuff like that. Apologies if this is not too good and sorry if I refer to Virgil as a he accidently because that is what I am used to hearing/reading. Anyway I hope you enjoy!

Virgil was feeling depressed. Not that, that wasn’t normal, but they were feeling more depressed, sick and angry than usual. They wanted to sleep more frequently and seemed to linger more when one of the sides touched them.

They didn't know what was wrong. They couldn't understand why this was happening to them. On top of that, they still hadn't come out to the sides as non-binary. All in all, they were not feeling good. But their troubles hadn't even begun yet.

…

It was a Thursday morning at 7:37am when they realised. Virgil hadn't had their morning cup of coffee yet and was feeling tired and gross. They were rubbing the sleep out of their eyes when they accidentally bumped into someone.

They go to apologise when suddenly a voice speaks up. "Sorry kiddo. Do you want some coffee?"

They look up at Patton's face blushing and manage to stammer out "sure."

Sitting at the kitchen table playing with their thought. This was a dangerous pastime for Virgil, but they did it anyway.

"Virgil. Virgil? Hey bud. I've got your coffee!" Virgil looks up in a daze blushing furiously once again.

What was wrong with them? Why did they keep blushing? They couldn't like Patton, could they? They lov -- cared for Patton. That was all.

They chug their coffee, trying to rid themselves of any and all thoughts of the chubby, freckled boy from their mind.

They must have been thinking for a while, because when they looked up Roman and Logan were sitting at the table conversing about something.

Then the topic of Disney comes up, the little emo seems to come out of hiding to discuss Disney with Roman and Patton can't help but stare at the little glint in their eye. How they came up with different arguments and reasoning for why Peter Pan was evil, or how Anna was really the bad guy, because Virgil was so passionate and it was nice to see them so happy.

Patton is staring for a long time, not even realising it when it clicked. He had felt this before. But it couldn't be, could it? Love.

…

That night was fam-ILY game night and everyone came down in their onesies. And gosh darn it, Virgil looked so cute!

"We all have the same face." Logan drawls out for the 7 millionth time.

Shoot, did he say that out loud? "I meant his onesie is cute…" (nailed it).

Virgil was just left in the corner blushing. They were thinking of coming out tonight. Maybe? Would it be a good idea?

So halfway through the game of 'intense' (as Roman described it) Monopoly, Virgil clears their throat.

What if they laugh? What if they hate me? What if…? What if…? Virgil came up with 3,000 different what ifs in their head before Patton lays a hand on their back.

"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to tell us, and if you do we swear to not laugh or judge." And god damn it, how did Patton always know what to say?

"I'm not a guy. But I'm not a girl either. I'm non-binary." Virgil says, trying to remain calm.

Patton leans over and kisses them on the cheek, causing them to blush.

"Okay. So what pronouns do you use? And do you have preferred name?" Logan inquires.

Virgil stares at him.

"I of course knew about gender identity from research and such." He clears his throat awkwardly. "Anyway." He continues.

"Virgil is okay and my preferred pronouns are they/them."

Patton leans over and encases him in a hug before pulling them into his lap. Virgil curls up while Patton whispers in their ear.

"Hey, hey. Don't worry. We love you regardless of your gender. You're perfect in our eyes. Okay your majesty?"

Virgil smiles, they had never felt more accepted. They lay in Patton's lap for the rest of the night curling into him and getting as much contact as possible.

While Roman and Logan just smiled. Nodding to each other Logan took Roman's hand and led him to his room, leaving Virgil and Patton their space.

The sides stayed with each other the whole night. Roman stroking Logan's hair telling him what a brave Prince he was and Patton whispering in Virgil's ear all night.

…

The next morning Virgil wakes up in Patton’s bed. They are really confused until they remember the previous night’s events.

Virgil smiles, remembering the acceptance they had felt the night before. Still smiling and thinking, they hadn't realised Patton was awake.

"Hey sunshine." Virgil turns acting confused.

“You talking about yourself? 911. Mental ward?”

Patton smiled fondly at them. “You’re too cute. Now what would Sanders royalty want for breakfast?”

Virgil smiles. They don’t do anything else, just smile before uttering two words. “Thank you.”

Now it was Patton’s turn to act confused. What was Virgil thanking him for.

“Breakfast? No problem kiddo.” He says unsurely.

Then suddenly he hears a bark of laughter coming from the usually reserved and quiet one in the corner. “No.” Virgil is grinning like a lunatic. “For remembering my pronouns, for not treating me differently, for -- for just being there.”

Patton walks over, scooping them up and placing a small kiss on their forehead. “Of course. Nothing changes, just what I call you. You’re still the same person. Although, I might not be as gay.” He giggles. “Only for you though.”

That’s the breaking point for Virgil and suddenly a choked sob is emitted from them, causing Patton to look around anxiously. (That’s Virgil’s job, stupid).

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He rubs Virgil’s back.

“Baba? Can you tell me? Please?” He pleads with Virgil and through hiccups and sobs he is able to make out Virgil repeating two words.

“Thank you.”

“For what baby?” He coos at Virgil, trying to convince the broken shell the broken shell in his hands to say something other than ‘thank you’.

“For accepting me.” They sniff loudly.

“For holding me. For being there for me. For not making fun of me. For treating me no differently. For…” They are cut off by Patton pressing his lips against theirs.

He wipes the tears from Virgil’s face. “You never have to thank us for being decent humans. Or treating you no differently. Or holding you. You can always ask for a hug. Or come sit with me. I am always there.”

Virgil tries to interrupt but he shushes them. “Never say thank you for treating you with respect.”

Throughout this whole piece Patton’s voice is stern leaving no room for disagreement.

“I love you.” Virgil’s small voice calls out.

When Patton doesn’t answer straight away Virgil assumes the worst. Holy shit what if he doesn’t like me? What if he just kissed me to toy with my feelings? Patton’s not like that, is he? What if he…?

Their para -- anxiety is cut off by another press against their lips. “I love you too.” He then proceeds to pick Virgil and place them on the counter.

Walking over to the fridge he calls over his shoulder. “Eggs do? Babe?”

“Y-yeah.” Virgil stutters out going red.

Patton chuckles throwing his head back and Virgil curls more into their hoodie, silently admiring how hot Patton looks.

The rest of their day is spent with movies, snacks and blankets. Patton making Virgil blush way too much and Virgil silently thanking the gods for giving them someone who called them Sanders royalty/your majesty instead of King (though he thought Patton was a King and deserved to be treated as such).

Roman and Logan mainly stayed with each other for the rest of the day, not really doing anything.

…

Patton didn’t notice anything off with Virgil for the first few weeks of them dating. It was a Friday evening and Patton had noticed Virgil was more clingy lately - not that he minded - but he wanted to be sure Virgil was alright. Later that evening in Patton’s room, he questions Virgil about it.

After hearing this statement, Virgil starts muttering apologies again. All the while Patton reassures that he doesn’t mind but he wanted to make that Virgil was alright.

Virgil looks down at Patton’s baby blue blanket, the fluffy one Virgil had taken a liking to. Snuggling in further Virgil mulls over the confession they’ve made in the last few weeks.

After a few moments of silence Patton speaks up. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I don’t want to make my cutie uncomfortable.”

“No.” They mumble out.

“No you deserve to know.” Virgil speaks with more confidence this time.

“According to the research I have done I am suffering from touch deprivation, more commonly known as skin hunger or being touch starved. It came from the period when y’all didn’t know me well and I didn’t like asking for hugs.”

Patton recalls what they are talking about. He remembers, all the signs. How did he miss them? He was a bad boyfriend. He doesn’t notice the tear rolling down his cheek before Virgil wipes it.

“Hey, hey. This is not your fault.” Virgil whispers.

“But if I had known, or done some-”

“Not your fault.” They state more firmly this time.

“I was closed off, didn’t talk. Didn’t communicate and am a master at hiding my emotions. Please don’t beat yourself up about this.” Virgil says.

Or I will physically fight you.” They smile, mocking Patton with one of his famous lines.

Patton giggles before pulling Virgil towards him and pulling off his shirt.

“Trust me, my little emo.” He pulls Virgil’s hoodie off, grabbing their shirt in the process too. He then proceeds to pull Virgil closer to his chest.

At this point Virgil is beet red and stuttering things like “Give back my hoodie. Stop. Please?”

They even try to pull a puppy dog face. Patton ignores them until one comment.

“I’m ugly. Please?”

He turns to Virgil with an angry expression. “Who told you that?”

“No one had to, I just know.”

“Where? On your cute tummy? Your strong arms? Where?”

Virgil shrinks a little and Patton recoils. “I’m sorry, but you are beautiful. You just need to see that.”

After lying in silence for a while Virgil speaks. “Patton, why did you take our shirts off?”

“Well I remember hearing once that touching someone’s skin can help with touch starvation. Also you’re cute.” He shrugs looking down at a blushing Virgil.

“Just remember, you can tell me anything and I will move a mountain to help you.”

Then Patton starts singing a melody that Virgil knows too well. It was their favourite (though they would never admit it).

“What a strange being you are, God knows where I would be

If you hadn't found me, sitting all alone in the dark”

Taglist:

@illogicallyinclined

@wowimsogoddamnoriginal

@rxndxm-stuff

[starburstonlayaway]

for @elizabroadwaytrash and i

Current word count :

40,813

Basic summary:

Tyler and Ethan’s family goes through a lot of changes following their marriage. They lose people, take others in, and new journeys are ventured on every day, no matter how scary or exciting.

Title? WIP? Alternate titles?

“Leave a Message.”

Yes, it is a work-in-progress.

I don’t believe we had any alternative titles, and if we did, I do not recall them.

Favorite character and how they are introduced:

Tyler. He’s introduced at the beginning of the first chapter, seen before anyone else.

Favorite ship:

Rose/Victor! I haven’t gotten to writing their relationship and build-up, but from our plans and how we’ve designed Victor’s character to be, I’m excited.

MC’s biggest mistake:

Rose is probably more of an MC than the others, despite it being a Tyler/Ethan fanfic.

Her biggest mistake was probably refusing to give up on Carter. While he was her boyfriend, his actions toward her (and later, Jazzy) were unacceptable after she came out to him. She isn’t to blame at all, but it’s definitely the thing she regrets most.

Inspiration:

A webcomic on Webtoon called “Always Human.” The comic explores the events happening to the girls Sunati and Austen throughout the course of their relationship. Beautiful art, realistic problems (despite being set in a futuristic utopian society), representation, and well-written romance. I wanted to incorporate these factors into LaM to make it similar to a story I enjoyed very much that left an influence on me.

Underrated character appreciation:

Jazzy! Rose’s best friend. Even in the separate story where she’s one of the main set of characters, she’s still very overlooked. She’s very upbeat and friendly, with lots of knowledge on wlw pop culture and history!

A few favorite dialogues:

“I’m ready, but we’re not in a rush or anything.” “Of course we’re in a rush, you slut! The sooner you guys get married, the sooner you have kids, and the sooner I’m an uncle!“ “Aren’t you occupied enough as it is? If you’re so involved in the idea of having a family, then why haven’t you and Jack had any kids of your own yet?“ “Don’t roast us like this.”

(spoken angrily) “Hey, Mister, that’s my soup!”

“That’s Amy! She’s probably Chica and Henry’s favorite out of all of us, but WE SHOULD REALLY SHARE CUSTODY OF HENRY.”

“Uh, I like to read, mostly, but watching older cartoons is also fun.” “Ooh. What cartoons do you like?” “My current favorite is Adventure Time!” “Adventure Time is considered an older cartoon now?” “Guess so.” “Damn, we’re getting old.” “We’re already old, dude.” “Thanks I feel worse.”

“What kind of cancer is it again?” “Leukemia.” “The survival chances of that aren’t terrible.” “Wow. Thanks.”

“You punched Jazzy?! You fucking punched Jazzy?! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why would you punch someone for standing up to you when you were the one being a dick?!” “She wouldn’t get out of my face—” “I don’t wanna hear that bullshit! Carter, you can hurt me all you fucking want and I won’t care, but you’ve crossed the fucking line. Jazzy is the only person that’s been nice to me all year. She’s supported me and loved me no matter what, something you never fucking did!” “What the hell are you—” “We’re done, Carter! I never want to see your ugly transphobic douchebag ass again!”

MC moodboard:

N/A

MC’s fondest memory:

Probably when she was adopted. It was the most exciting day of her life, and lead down a journey of self-discovery.

In close second is the day she became friends with Jazzy. She was there for her when she needed her most.

Songs that remind of LaM or the characters:

“What About Us” by P!nk, probably definitely because it’s the song I used for Tyler and Ethan’s first dance.

“Leave a Message” by gnash, the song I named the book after! This one doesn’t need much of an explanation.

“Party Tattoos” by dodie. I plan to use this song in the closing chapter, sung by Rose.

Enjoy torturing the characters?

Not really, but I do it anyway. Good for character development, which there’s a lot of. But I don’t enjoy it, no. I love the characters in this book like my cat and dogs: with all my heart.

MC’s biggest fear:

Being unaccepted. This fear makes itself evident after what happens with Carter. Her mother’s reaction enforces this more.

Goals:

To finish LaM by the end of sophomore year, editing and all.

To be proud of the finished product.

To use this book as a reminder that I can do it. I can write.

Characters’ secret talents:

Ethan, despite not playing for many, many years, still excels at playing the ukulele. This becomes not so much of a secret later on in the book.

Rose is surprisingly good at tic-tac-toe. Not necessarily a talent, but definitely something she’d want you to note.

Turned into a media? Cast?

Seeing as LaM is a piece of fanwork, I don’t believe I would turn it into a media.

If it was to be a media, however, along with Tyler Scheid and Ethan Nestor to play Tyler and Ethan, as well as Mark Fischbach, Amy Nelson, and Kathryn Knutsen to play their friends, a few choices I would make would be to cast Janet Mock as adult Rose Scheid and Elliot Fletcher as adult Adrian Garcia.

MC’s basic morals and general beliefs:

Rose’s number one moral is to never make someone feel shut out. Having been rejected (as well as accepted) many times in her life, she knows that she never wants anyone to feel like that, and makes an effort to be the reason.

How MC found out the tooth fairy doesn’t exist:

She never really believed in it, to begin with.

Best name:

Jasmine “Jazzy” Hinojosa-Mills.

Least favorite OC:

Carter. Abusive transphobic asshat that left Rose with lots of insecurities and trauma for years to come.

Snippet:

Mark really had gone all out with making the altar just like Tyler had wanted it to look. The arch was made out of ebony wood that had been painted white with golden accents. Flowery vines were twirled all around the wood, the flowers colors of black, grey, purple, and blue. The chairs surrounding the aisle were all made of the same wood as the arch, the cushions blue and grey. Both Ethan and Tyler’s family alike filled those chairs, chattering away with one another. Tyler quickly scanned the side filled with Ethan’s relatives, and wasn’t surprised to see Ethan’s aunt and uncle were not present. He hoped to god that Ethan wouldn’t notice. The guests quieted down and turned their heads to look at Tyler, and he felt put on the spot. Most of the guests smiled at him, others clapped quietly. He could see that two people in particular were both smiling and clapping. Seeing Jack and Kathryn so supportive of him was majorly comforting to Tyler. He exhaled, and glanced at Mark behind him. Mark was already smiling, and nudged his head towards the arch. Tyler walked down the aisle and received praise from just about everyone sat in chairs. He high-fived Jack on his way to his place next to the officiant. The lady smiled at him, and he returned the gesture. She opened her book as Mark took his place next to Tyler, gazing over his friend’s tux and wiping off some dust quickly. Mark gave Tyler a thumbs-up, and Tyler couldn’t stop smiling. Now that he was actually out in front of the guests and standing where he was meant to be, his nerves relaxed. In fact, every thought he’d ever had in doubt of this marriage before that moment vanished, as soon as Ethan walked out.

WIP representation:

LGBT

Tyler/Ethan

Rose is trans

Jazzy is pansexual with two moms

Adrian is trans with two moms

Marcus has two dads

POC

Rose and her mother are black

Adrian and his mama are Mexican

Disabilities

Marcus has leukemia (cancer of the white blood cells)

Standalone or part of a series?

Standalone. Although I suppose you could call it a spinoff of one of our other works, the reader does not need to read that series to understand this story.

Biggest character development:

Definitely Rose. Seeing as the story follows the changes through most of her life, there’s a big difference in her character comparing the first chapter she is introduced to the closing chapter, where she takes center stage.

People who know of the WIP:

My co-writer, Caroline. Though I’ve done most of the writing, Caroline and I brought the idea for this story to life together, creating a unique cast of characters such as Jazzy, Rose, Adrian, Marcus, their families, Victor, Rose’s mother Aaliyah, and Ethan’s uncle Zane. Without her, the story would not have been written in the first place.

The lovely readers on AO3. I’ve uploaded chapters of the WIP onto there, updating at least once a month. It feels good to be putting some of my work out there for other people instead of just keeping such a joy all to myself. Of course, this is just a personal opinion.

Characters’ annoying habits:

Jazzy’s very short-tempered. Make one wrong move, anyone could get shouted at, lectured, maybe even a blow to the face.

Marcus feels a lot of self-pity and spite. He wishes his parents wouldn’t baby him so much just because he has cancer. This, later on, leads to him participating in multiple illegal activities to antagonize them.

Adrian grows to be more selfish as he gets older, even going out of his way to go into the military and disappear from Rose’s life out of the blue one day without telling her. He later regrets this.

Rose has plenty of autophobia to go around. After her mother gave her up to the orphanage at a young age and Carter’s abuse towards her in her late middle school years, followed by Adrian’s sudden leave after high school, she always fears being alone or abandoned by the people she cares about.

Tyler and Ethan both never seem to recover from the grief of their first child’s loss. This makes them closed off to people who ask about the incident, and could sometimes bring them back to their depressive state.

Very last three lines (with context):

“Unsure was she on how to approach this. She’d felt it since that first night she met him, but it’d grown more and more out of hand since. They’d also became closer as friends, even now sometimes hanging out without the needed assistance of Marcus and Jazzy by their sides to ease the tension.”

Context: Rose had just come to the conclusion she had a crush on Adrian.

Characters: Based off IRL people(through looks, personality, or habits)?

Tyler, Ethan, Amy, Kathryn, Mark, Jack, Chica, Henry, and all of the parents in the story are based off IRL influencers. The characters have only been switched and changed a bit, as well as the relationships, of course, to fit the story.

Impossible friendship:

Carter and Jazzy. Don’t really need to explain it if you’ve read the work. They hate each other’s guts more than anyone, and they could never kiss and make up. As characters, they aren’t the types to do that at all, especially with each other.

Am I proud?

Yes. Leave a Message has been my most dedicated piece of work so far, and I’d say I’m well on my way to reaching my personally-set deadline next year if I keep it at the rate I’m going. Not to mention the characters and plotlines are exciting and realistic, in my own opinion. There’s still a lot left to be written, but I’ve got everything planned out. I don’t plan on stopping until I’m finished with it.

[indecentpause]

A Playlist for Estrella and Dani, from Stars in Our Hands

Taggin my regulars: @reeseweston @katiehahnbooks @adorhauer @violet-clouds-and-skies @riftversus

alex goot - it girl // janelle monae - pink // kate nash - all day and all through the night // noisettes - never forget you // sophie b hawkins - beautiful girl // the regrettes - hey now // dressy bessy - if you should try to kiss her // nikki & rich - cat & mouse // bets - jenny // miki ratsula - red (demo version) // go sailor - ray of sunshine // tegan and sara - bwu // frankie simone - blow my mind // grouplove - ways to go // l devine - daughter // dodie - sick of losing soulmates // christina perri feat. jason mraz - distance // tamás petró - perpetuum mobile // christina perri - a thousand years

[listen here]

Only a few minutes pass before you see Dani through the glass door. She’s wearing jeans a little frayed at the knees and a grey Phoenix FD t-shirt and her hair is a little more tamed than the last time you saw her, but barely. Now that you’re coherent enough and not in unfathomable pain, you notice the half-sleeves on both of her arms; bright colors and sharp lines from the crooks of her elbows to, you assume, her shoulders. Her face is so much more relaxed.

Also, you’re not bleeding to death, which is preferable.

Her dark brown eyes dart across the café, and when they land on you, she smiles and offers you a shy half-wave. You smile and wave back.

You stand up to greet her with a handshake as she approaches the table. Her hands are strong, callused, but with small palms and long fingers, like an artist’s, a musician’s. She smiles at you, soft and shy, and her nose and ears are a little pink.

“Has it gotten that much hotter outside already?” you ask as you both sit down.

Her eyes widen a little and she coughs into her hand. “Uh, no, it’s, it’s fine.”

She’s so different, now; soft-spoken, shy, a little nervous.

“You’re just, ah —” she silences herself by resting her chin in her hand and curling her fingers over her lips. Suddenly your chest is tight and your mouth turns down, because… because she seemed so different, and this isn’t —

But then she blurts out, half into her hand, “You’re just really beautiful.” She tucks a flyaway curl back around her ear and it pops back out again, and as her fingers pass her ears, the silver flash of a tiny stud glitters in the light. “I’m… is that inappropriate? If it is just tell me and I won’t say things like that anymore. Sorry.”

You laugh, and the warm metal bands of the rings tight around your fingers clink against your own dangling earring as you also try to push your hair out of your face, as useless as you know it is.

“No,” you murmur. “No, it’s fine. Thank you.” Because you could listen to her say things like that forever.

“If I’d realized you’d look so nice I would have put in a little more effort,” she says, bashfully scratching the back of her neck. Her nails are short, but clean and buffed until they shine like sun glancing off a creek.

“You do look nice,” you say. She smiles bashfully and rubs her nose a little. When she blushes her skin brightens like a sunrise. She has skin like an Egyptian queen: sand-gold, smooth, flawlessly clear.

“Thanks,” she says softly.

You fall into an awkward silence, and for a few minutes -- hours? god, it’s torture, it’s too long -- neither of you says anything.

“Sorry,” Dani finally says. You look up from your nails, tapping on the table. “I’m… I don’t know the last time I’ve actually had a conversation with someone outside of work. I pretty much live at the station, so I don’t have time to meet people.”

You smile. “Well, thank god you do,” you whisper.

She laughs and shakes her head. “So, I mean, clearly you know about my work,” she says, deflecting the compliment. “What do you do?”

Your shoulders curl in a little and your hands tighten around your coffee cup. “I mean… you picked me up past midnight alone on Van Buren?” you murmur. Van Buren is the street of prostitutes, hookers, whores, and everybody knows it. “I thought that made it clear?”

“Eventually you learn not to assume,” Dani says. “It doesn’t matter where they’re from or what they do or how they got there, it’s all the same once you get ‘em in the back of the ambo. Everyone’s equal there.”

Your brows furrow and your mouth turns down, because you don’t understand her reaction. It’s not a condemnation. She’s not excusing you, not that you even need to be. What is this?

“I… don’t understand,” you finally admit.

“I don’t care what you do, as long as you’re not, like, a serial killer or a child abductor or something,” she says. “Basically, I assume you have your reasons. We barely just met; who am I to question them?”

You pull a face of exaggerated concern. “Well, shit, um, I have something really bad to tell you…”

She grins, a small, crooked pull of her mouth that just barely shows her perfect white teeth, and suddenly, all the nerves and stress and worry you had about this meeting, this pretend-not-really-date, it just lifts from your shoulders and back and floats away, forgotten.

“So, Estrella,” she says. “Do you have any questions about the night we picked you up, or was that just an excuse to get me out here?”

You smile, teeth tight on your lip. “A little of column A, a little of column B,” you answer. “But mostly it was a clever ruse,” you grin, because she deserves your honesty. Even if it was her job, she saved your life.

She laughs, like bells, like bubbling water. It’s beautiful, and the ground shifts beneath you as you slowly, slowly start to fall.

Read the whole of Stars in Our Hands for free on Ao3!

[aacinedinburgh]

Week 2: Glasgow, Portobello Beach, & the First Week of Classes

And we're back! Quick note, in case you didn't know: clicking on the pictures will open them and improve the viewing resolution! Without further ado...

Classes started this week, although it's a pretty light academic week. Two of my classes have asynchronous lectures, and the other two only have one lecture a week. Seminars and tutorials, which are smaller in-person sessions, don't start until next week.

Basically, that means that I have time to take a day trip to Glasgow on the first day of school. As I learned in the museum I went to (more on that later), Glasgow was in a post-WW2 downward spiral essentially from the collapse of the industrial sector, but in the 80s, began to reinvent itself as a center of arts, music, and culture. So now, Glasgow is the big Scottish stop for touring musicians, conventions, etc.

One of my favorite artists, dodie, is currently touring the UK, and when I saw she was performing in Glasgow, I knew I had to go. I only have class until 10am on Mondays, so I decided that I might as well make a day of it and explore the city.

The (doubledecker!) bus ride to Glasgow was only supposed to take about an hour, but there was apparantly a gas leak on the M8, so it ended up taking a little over two hours, and I got there in the early afternoon. The good news is I found a really great Indian restaurant for lunch. The best part? The signs hanging inside:

After lunch, I walked over to Kelvingrove Park, in Glasgow's West End. Despite the gray skies and sprinkling rain, there were still tons of people out having picnics with their kids or walking their dogs. Inside the park is Kelvingrove Art Museum and Gallery. There was a little bit of everything inside: big natural history exhibits, the history of Glasgow, old French paintings, and an Ancient Egyptian sarcophagus. The grandiose halls were probably my favorite part, though:

After the museum, I walked through the University of Glasgow campus. One of the main buildings gave off serious Hogwarts vibes. I also walked through the Glasgow Botanical Gardens. Unfortunately, I got there late enough in the afternoon that the greenhouses were already closed, but it was still a nice walk-through.

After the Gardens, I took the bus over to George Square, in the city centre. The bus was rickety as hell. Like, shaking so badly it made Wile E. Coyote on a jackhammer look stable. Nevertheless, I arrived safely. George Square has a whole bunch of big grand buildings, with pillars and arches and domes and the like. I grabbed some fish and chips while I was there before catching another bus down to the concert venue.

Oh my god, y'all, the concert was so good. Shoutout first to the girls in line who let me borrow their portable phone charger and to the girl from Minnesota who was also alone, so we stuck together through the night. Seeing dodie live was such a dream, and it was a great show: the lights, the string quartet, plus getting to stand, I don't know, 10 yards away from the stage? Amazing.

I was kind of nervous about getting back to the bus station and to Edinburgh by myself at night, but luckily, lots of people were headed to the same places, and since probably 90% of the people in attendance were women under 25 (the guys behind me in the picture are honestly some of the only men I saw all night), it ended up being a gaggle of girls all going to the bus station together. It was so weird seeing Edinburgh at the dead of night - it was completely deserted. Even on the most busy streets downtown, Princes St, the Royal Mile, etc., there was not a soul or car to be found. Eerie. If I hadn't been walking back to campus with other people, I would have been super unnerved.

Thanks also to everyone who was checking in that I had not, in fact, been murdered. Gold medal goes to Schyler "please tell me you are not alone rn" Rowland. I love and appreciate you.

I truly enjoyed my visit to Glasgow, but I'm honestly glad that I'm living in Edinburgh instead. Glasgow felt much more like a big city, with all the positives (cool venues, events, and things to do) and negatives (some slightly spooky, grungy, industrial areas) that come with that. Edinburgh has this cosy village feel, even with the 500k+ population, and I'm so glad I get to experience that!

I also made my way over to Portobello Beach, Edinburgh’s coast looking out over the bay. There were lots of dogs and fun stands set up along the beach - I grabbed some gelato from a cart! It wasn’t sunny, but that’s not unusual for Edinburgh and it was beautiful nonetheless.

It's also been a week full of dance classes! This week I went to tap, contemporary, hip hop, and a pole dance class, and next week I'm headed to jazz, as well as African and swing dance classes. You have to pay for membership and attendance to events at the student organizations here, but these first two weeks of the semester are free trial periods, so I'm trying to cram as many classes in as possible. If I get videos of routines I do throughout the semester, I'll upload them here. :)

Stray observations:

- The Glaswegian (yes, that's what they're actually called) accent is so thick. Like the accents from Brave upped significantly. A man at the subway station spoke directly to me for 30 straight seconds, and I understood exactly zero of the words that came out of his mouth. Thank God none of my professors have thick accents. One of them has an Italian accent, which I definitely did not see coming and is also very fun.

- Favorite thing I saw in Glasgow: a hot pink PSA sign that read "be a tidy weegie." Amazing.

- Apparantly spiral notebooks aren't a thing here? I spent about 2 hours going from store to store, and they're not on the UK Amazon either. I ended up with a huge notepad that I put sticky tabs in to section off my classes.

- My respect for pole dancers has just skyrocketed. It was a half hour class, and my wrists are sore (they were popping in and out the whole time, haha), my shoulders hurt, my knees are bruised, and I've got a friction rash on my forearm. It was so fun to try something new, especially something I've wanted to try for a long time now, but seeing as I have to pay for all the orgs I choose to be a part of, I might stick to a style of dance that's a little less painful.

- Happy Bi Visibility Week! To my many bi friends and family, I love you and am so thankful to have you in my life. <3

See you all next week! I have some fun adventures planned in the meantime. ;)

[iboughtaplant]

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better

tagged by: @honeyedukes (thank you!)

nickname(s): I have a bunch, but only certain people call me them

gender: girl, but idk sometimes lately

zodiac: Scorpio

height: 5’4”

time: 8:27 pm

fav band(s): The Honorary Title, Fun., Fleetwood Mac, Florence + the Machine, Queen, Something Corporate, Jack’s Mannequin, Motion City Soundtrack, Tegan and Sara, The Smiths

fav solo artist(s): Rufus Wainwright, Hozier, Amanda Palmer, Ani Difranco, Lauryn Hill, Dodie Clark, Waxahatchee, Regina Spektor, Lou Reed, Elton John, Billy Joel, Carole King

song stuck in my head: Well I get songs stuck in my head so easily, like say any word and I’ll think of a song and start singing it. Before the Carole King song “You’ve Got a Friend” was stuck in my head. But I have been listening to the Chicago soundtrack while answering these questions.

last movie I saw: Battle of the Sexes or Last Jedi

last show I saw: The Americans

when did I create my blog: I think 2013?

what do I post: whatever I am currently obsessed with and anything else that I find interesting

last thing I googled: how to make origami out of fabric (I think it could be cool, I can make plenty of origami things, so why not try to make them out of other materials)

do I have any other blogs: nope, just this one! Might have others in the future!

do I get asks: very, very rarely, but I love when I do! Talk to me!

why did I choose my url: well I love plants, but it’s based on a line from the show Leverage. It’s from a line that the character Parker says in the second episode.

-Parker: [trying to spruce up the office] I bought a plant.
Alec Hardison: Nice. Team spirit.
Parker: What does it do?”

following: 725

followed by: 357

favorite color: purple

average hours of sleep: 7 or 8?

lucky number: idk, can I say 11:11? Like the time? I always make a wish when I catch it and screenshot my lockscreen.

instruments: nope, but I wish. I attempted playing the flute in fourth grade, but it didn’t last long. Oh, I was once able to play part of a song on a harmonica. I do want to learn an instrument someday

what I’m wearing: jeans, a shirt that says “currently introverting,” black sweatshirt, and the apron my sister made for me since I have been baking!

dream job: I really want to be a librarian in some capacity, or do historical research

dream trip: too many! I have always wanted to go to Australia, but I also want to go to Paris (or anywhere in France really, I took French in college and have been trying to continue learning it).

fav food: chocolate-covered pretzels

nationality: American

fav song: I have way too many, um: Big Yellow Taxi - Joni Mitchell, I Don’t Know What It Is - Rufus Wainwright, Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk - Rufus Wainwright, Cherry Wine - Hozier, Wicked Little Town - Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and many more, but I’ll stop

last book I read: I have read way more fanfic than books lately, but I’m in the middle of Dodie Clark’s book Secrets for the Mad

top 3 fictional universes I wanna join: Harry Potter/Hogwarts, Warehouse 13, Percy Jackson (I wanna be a demi-god)

tagging: @uniquely-elegant @theearlofoxford @theunderaprecciatednerd @rachelica9 @remuslupinprotectionprogram @gayromanticsubplots @peweebaggins @irma-vep @singingfutch @disregardedletters @inklingdancer

(Idk who else to tag)