#but.. he could have been a liiiittle better at some things

[presidenttyler]

grant presidency saw trap

[kedreeva]

Actually had mice to take to a reptile expo for the first time in MONTHS (between selling out immediately after listing any mice and taking my end-of-year break, I simply haven't had enough mice to make it worthwhile to bring them since last summer!), and had a blast again. It seems like every time I bring them, there's never a single second where there's not someone at my table.

It's very funny to me that I have to put out a sign that says "these are PETS not feeders" and how often someone starts to walk by, sees the sign, and comes over. I actually have a whole Display Sign that has info about my mice, why they are different, how to handle them, and like a dozen photos of some of the beautiful mice I've had, and I catch people stopping to actually read it, too. The font is pretty big, but it's juuuust small enough they have to come a little closer, close enough I can hold a mouse out to them.

I've also learned that people don't always believe me when I say the mouse won't bite or jump off their hand. I see the tension, I see the anxiety. I tell them, they've been bred for this. I have told people, I will pay you $5 if this mouse bites you, I'm that confident, because I wouldn't bring them if I thought they might. But the only thing that really gets through to some people is to just plain show them. Close my fist around them (gently, but firmly enough I can flip them upside down securely), scrub them up, smoosh my face to them, rub a finger on their cheek/jaw/mouth. Nothing happens. At worst the mouse is lightly inconvenienced for a moment. But the transformation that comes over the people who see it is complete and instant. A visual "oh." moment. They relax completely, which makes their handling experience so much better. People straight terrified to hold a mouse in the first place hold out their hands for one. Small children who said no thank you (which I always respect, I have even told parents no, it's okay if they don't want to hold one, we have to respect their no thank yous too) will often ask if actually, can they can hold one?

I had one little girl who held a mouse that was a little squirmy at first because the girl was holding just a liiiittle too tight, and she was having trouble for a few seconds, but I kept an eye on her in case I needed to intervene, and she quickly figured out to be more gentle, and the mouse quickly figured out she was fine actually, and she ended up flopping down in this girl's hand and getting her face and head rubbed while she bruxed for like twenty minutes. I was surprised she didn't go home with a mouse, but I have a feeling I may see her family again.

I also had some guy ask if I wanted to be on his reptile podcast, for the mice, because he never knew there could be a difference between feeder mice and other mice. So I guess we'll see!

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

[gabessquishytum]

this one was loosely inspired by that "hob cheats on orpheus w morpheus" post/fic thats been doing rounds rn

university!morpheus is dating robyn, hes a little timid about having sex with him (haha loser virgin everybody point and laugh), but robyn assures him its fine, he's willing to wait and be patient, morpheus gets to set the pace and he'll follow his lead. and things go well for a while, morpheus even meets robyns family! his boyfriends' dad being morpheus' university professor was a bit of a surprise, but considering that dr gadling has never been anything but kind and helpful to him, it's a welcome one.

but, one night, after their semi-regular family dinners, morpheus excuses himself to leave the room and get some fresh air. hob follows him outside and asks if everything's been alright-- he's noticed that morpheus has been in a strange mood lately and wanted to check up on him to make sure everything was alright between him and his son, or maybe he was struggling with his schoolwork and needed some help. but it turns out, it hasnt been alright; morpheus confesses that he's discovered (desire found out about it and immediately rubbed it in dream's face that he's unloveable) that robyn's been cheating on him. he isn't angry, more than anything he's disappointed and betrayed. he's especially annoyed because he can't quite seem to find the right time to talk about it with his boyfriend-- morpheus "shitty communicator" d'endeles, par for the course. any anger is rooted in him feeling disrespected and lied to. hob, trying to seem relatable, mentions that he was cheated on when he was around morpheus' age, and he got revenge by filling his partner's gas tank with sugar. morpheus doesn't want to cause property damage, but revenge sounds enticing.

he comes up with a plan to cheat back; plus, that way, he can lose his virginity and rub it in robyn's face that his "patience" didn't even pay off. so, at first, when dr gadling comes onto him one night, he's worried his plans have been foiled-- but when he's come so many times he's lost count and is nothing more than a puddle on his boyfriends' fathers' mattress, he realizes that maybe this is the exact revenge he needed. especially if he does sleep with robyn later on just to compare father and son, and maybe taunt him a bit for how much better his dad is.....

Hhhhnhnggg daddy Hob 😳😳

Look, if Robyn is cheating, then he definitely doesn't have the moral highground. But fucking his dad may have been a liiiittle skeezy of Morpheus. Not that I blame him......

Hob is just so much better than Robyn. He's got all of his son's good qualities and then more. He's solid, attractive, he smells good, he looks good... and his dick is thicker than anything Morpheus has ever seen. He knows what to do to make a man scream. Robyn isn't bad in bed, but his dad is just a genius. His mouth is unholy. He makes Morpheus beg for him, croons in his ear so sweetly - "go on, there's a good lad... say 'please, daddy'". And Morpheus does everything that Hob tells him. He bends himself in half, curls his legs over Hob’s shoulders and submits to being utterly taken apart. This is the kind of sex he wants. How can he possibly go back to placid, half hearted sex with men his own age? He's ruined.

And if he stopped to think, he'd wonder exactly how Hob could sleep with his own son's boyfriend without seeming to feel particularly guilty. Truth is, Hob is far from being perfect or morally better than Robyn. In fact, he's old enough to know better.

But he wants pale, pretty Morpheus. Wanted him since the day they met. And fucking him is so wonderful, so transcendent, he can't possibly feel bad about it. He loves his baby boy, his Morpheus, his darling. He loves knowing that he's ruining this beautiful young man and spoiling him completely, so that he'll never be satisfied with anything else.

Robyn will get over it. He's his father's son, after all... and it was Hob who encouraged him to cheat in the first place.

[erroramended-blog]

 Tada! wholesome! As suggested by @paintsplash1712​  Annnd, it inspired a little fic which I will include below the read-more.

“Ok, just A liiiittle further back.”

Hunter held up his thumb and index finger at a distance that was practically touching already, but Luz gave the joy stick another nudge. Predictably the claw jerked back with a wild swing, and by then they’d fiddled with the positioning so long that time ran out, so the claw dropped. It was a long plushy though, so the claw still managed to get a good grip on it. Maybe this time they’d actually—

Aaaand it slipped right out again.

“Urgh! How does anyone win anything around here?!” Vee complained, dragging her fingers down her cheeks in frustration.

Luz let her head thump against the glass. So far they’d burned through half their credits and won absolutely nothing.

The whole trip had been Luz’s idea. She’d heard about this new arcade bowling alley restaurant thing opening up a town over, and it was huge and had a lot of stuff from japan. It looked like a ton of fun, and since Hunter had his license now they wouldn't need a ride, aaaand they all had human money from picking up odd jobs during summer break so they could afford it, so with some convincing, mama said yes.

“I wonder if the others are doing any better.” Hunter thought out loud.

Amity, Willow, and Gus had come along too because of course she wouldn't leave them out. The only reason they weren't all plushy hunting together was because right at the start Luz had had the brilliant idea of splitting everyone into two teams and making the whole thing a competition. Whoever wins the least prizes buys lunch.

“Probably not,” Luz said, glaring at the rotten machine. “It’s all rigged.”

“But there has to be some sort of strategy to it,” Hunter said, rubbing his chin, “how else would so many people be walking around with prizes?”

“Maaaaan, I wish I could just stretch my arm, reach in there, and grab them!” Vee said, staring longingly at the big wolf plush they’d all been trying at.

A thought suddenly occurred to all three of them at once.

“I mean...I could, but, yah know,” Vee said, pointing up “cameras.”  

They all nodded and miserably shuffled off to try the next machine.

The place was big enough that they’d decided to have each team take opposite sides and work their way to the middle by lunch time— which was growing ever nearer. At this rate, If the other team managed to get even one plushy they’d win.

—

“That's it, I'm getting that prize one way or another!”

Willow's eyes flashed a glowing green for a second before both Amity and Gus jumped to stop her. To her credit though, Willow hadn’t been serious. She was frustrated, yeah, but she wasn’t actually going to tear the place apart.

“Ugh,” she sighed, “This is impossible!”

“These are worse than the games at the Bonesborough fall carnival.” Amity agreed, and she was right too. Those games could result in flaming chaos, or loss of limb, but at least you could get a mold fish out of it. “There's just no way.”

“Hmm,” Gus said, and Willow knew that thoughtful hmm. That was the thoughtful hmm of someone with an idea. “Well, there miiiight be a way.”

Gus smiled a devious smile, and lifted the flap of his shoulder bag just enough for a certain someone to peak her head out.

—

“Welp, that's the last chance we had.”

Vee threw her hands up in defeat and turned away from the claw machine.

“How could we have failed this badly?” Hunter said from his spot on the floor. From the look on his face, he seemed to be rethinking all of his life choice.“Not one single success? Where did we go wrong!?”

Luz could hardly believe it. All that time, all that money, and convincing, and planning, and this is how it ends? With nothing but regrets and heartbreak? This was supposed to be fun, but the three of them were completely crestfallen. Absolutely woebegotten! Anguished and downcast! And all the other synonyms she could think of!  

It wasn’t fair! It was—

“Woh, look at those guys!” Vee said, pointing.

Luz turned to look, amongst the last people in the whole place who weren't already staring at the three walking piles of plush toys and prizes. Luz almost moved to get out of the way, but piles seemed to be heading in her direction and—

“Hey guys,” A voice said, muffled by fluff and fuzz “Look what we won.”

“Gus!?” Hunter said, slack jawed in shock “Wha- How did you— What!?”

“It was no big deal,” Willow chimed in, “We're just that good.”

“No way,” Vee argued, “There is no way that you guys di—...”

Vee was about to accuse them of cheating, but she realized that she probably shouldn't say that outloud with all the people that were watching them.

“Diiiid such a good job,” Vee finished, glancing around. “Guess you really are that skilled, haha. Just takes a magic touch huh?”

“It wasn’t my idea!! I sw—”

“Sweeeeet”Luz said, cutting off Amity's confession before it could get started. “Sweet haul guys, haha, you win, ok lets go.”

A pair of workers whispering to each other had started heading there way, so the six of them booked it out the door and back to the car. Thankfully, no one followed.

—

“I’m sensing some foul play here,” Hunter said, opening the trunk. “What did you three do?”

“Er, well we maaaayy have had some help.” Willow confessed as she dropped her load of plushies in. Said help had been in the form of a certain blue chameleon palisman who could fit into the prize shoot.

“We didn’t make it obvious though,” Gus added, letting his palisman climb onto his shoulder as he put his things down, “Emme can be practically invisible when she tries.”

The little paliman shut her eyes and smiled, proud of her handy work.

“You guuuuys!” Luz said, rubbing her face in exasperation. “You can’t just— what about the cam— we could have gotten in so much trouble.”

Which was kind of ironic coming from the student of one of the biggest troublemakers in the boiling isles, who was also a frequent troublemaker herself. Willow understood though. Luz really had to push to get permission for them all to go on this whole roadtrip thing without an adult coming along.  

“Sorry,” She said. “We shouldn’t have risked the trouble like that.”

Gus and Amity followed up with there own apologies and the three decided to cover lunch despite winning.

“Also, if it helps, we did win a bunch of stuff with you guys in mind.” Gus said, fishing in the trunk for a specific one. “Behold!”

Gus held out the Holler Knight plushy they’d picked for Luz, which Luz instantly loved.

“Ok, you guys are officially the best.” Luz said, hugging the big squishy little guy from the game. “Aaannd I’m actually pretty glad you stuck it to the scammy jerks and their rigged machines!”

With a laugh, and all around agreement, they split up the prized and picked a lunch destination.

[moonyasnow]

Troubled Sleep?

The one where Malleus and Irina have a sleepover

OC(S) : Irina

OTHER CHARACTER(S) : Malleus, Lilia

TYPE : Fic (~6.6k words)

CONTENT : mostly fluff and a liiiittle bit of angst (it gets better), a bit of hurt/comfort, mostly cute and light-hearted for once, lots of dialogue, a bit of an insight into Leomoe (Tomoe x Leona) too, some descriptions of Agoraphobia

WARNINGS : flashbacks of parents fighting, mentions of past/ongoing SH (Flashback will be marked with <----------->)

...Nothing happens to me, I had come to terms with All the things that I thought I'd never indulge in "Take all that you can get 'cause you aren't worth it" You make that me feel at ease, I have to admit....

..Everything is so brand new I don't know what I'm gonna do I've never said a word I've never let anyone see through Tell me why the fuck I wanna spill my guts to you..

-Irina-

She arrived at Diasomnia with a small plastic bag in her arms bearing the logo of 'MISTER S' MYSTERY SHOP'; inside was a toothbrush and the outer robe of the school's Ceremonial garb, which both she and Tomoe had used as pyjamas since they slept in them that first night in Ramshackle. They'd simply become both their 'sleep clothes' by that point, since they were hardly ever needed for anything else, and they managed to keep the cold that seeped through Ramshackle's poorly isolated walls somewhat at bay.

By this point the sight of the grand castle no longer floored her as it once did, having grown accustomed to it after so many visits to see her friend. Instead, gazing up the tower in which his room resided, her heart beat louder in anticipation as she walked across the creaking wood bridge.

She knocked on the big port gates, and waited, soon being greeted by a Diasomnia student.

"Oh, um, hello." She nodded in greeting. "I'm here to visit my friend—"

"Yeah yeah, the Housewarden again, got it." She closed her mouth in embarrassment as they opened the gate wide enough for her to step into the foyer.

"So uh, do you want me to...to go...t-tell him you're here?" She could see their skin pallor. She bit her lip, gripping the bag cradled in her arms a little tighter, and she couldn't keep her brows from slanting downward ever-so-slightly, annoyance bubbling up in her chest.

'Do you have to act like I'd be sending you off to die?'

"Oh, Irina."

Her heart leapt into her throat and felt like it hit a wall, making her entire body tense up and jump, as well as reflexively curl her toes tensely into the soles of her shoes. But she didn't make a sound.

As she cautiously looked to her right, she saw the owner of the voice, hanging upside down. Seeing it was at least someone she recognized, she exhaled slightly, shoulders relaxing just the tiniest bit.

When she met his eyes a mischievous smile stretched across his face, one which told her he knew exactly what he was doing scaring her.

Turning his body in the air, he gracefully landed on his feet next to her and the other student, the tips of his hair still hovering until a second after he'd put both feet on the ground.

"You're quite early."

"I-I'm sorry, should I not have...?" She bowed her head in greeting, like she'd watched Tomoe do so many times and over time just adopted as part of her own body language.

"No, no, it's not a problem." His smile mellowed with a shake of his head. "Come, I'll walk you there."

Making their way quickly through the Lounge, they began the trek— and really, it was a trek, given how large the Dorm was— to Malleus' room.

"He has been very excited about today for quite a while. Now, don't tell him I said this, but earlier I found him cycling through scores of differing themes for decorations. And when I asked, he said he'd been doing so 'only for three hours'." He giggled, telling the story mostly to himself.

As they continued ascents up narrow spiral stairways and walks through long, near-empty hallways on a path she was well familiar with by that point, she felt a bit silly. Really, she hadn't needed Lilia to walk her there, knowing the way so well, but she didn't want to seem rude by saying that. And...

Passing through the cold, grey, stone hallways with its wide, lattice-detailed windows on either side, she always felt so small. Like a rabbit out in a wide open field with short-cut grass. She was relieved to for once not be walking through them alone.

The times she did, she always hurried, glancing over her shoulders often, rushing to his room like it was a safe haven. Which, in a way, it was.

After they had finally reached the top of the last flight of stairs he said:

"It frustrates you to see people's aversion to Malleus, does it?"

Though her face didn't show it, the question caught her off-guard. 'He saw my face when I was talking to that student...' She clutched her bag tighter again, a sense of unease welling up in her.

"Um..."

"It's good he has someone like you." she noticed the warm lilt in his voice. "I'm sure I speak for both of us when I say I'm glad you're not afraid of him."

She didn't know how to respond to that unexpected statement of gratitude. Especially when she'd been expecting a lecture of some kind. It didn't make any sense for her to think he'd scold her. But still, it had been her first reaction.

"Ah, here we are!" the announcement made her loosen her tight grip of the bag. He then turned to speak to her.

"Now, Irina, would you like me to get you anything to eat?"

"Huh? Oh, n-no thank you, I'm fine. I wouldn't want to bother you..." before he had a chance to respond she added: "I already ate a little before I came here."

"Ah, if you've already eaten, that would defeat the point. But I'd gladly make you a meal anytime! You're quite small for your age; I sometimes worry you aren't eating enough."

"Ah..." Her heart suddenly felt queasy. "Th-thank you." She smiled and sweat-dropped, before she went to open the door.

She curled her hand around the cold, metal handle of the black, arch-shaped door.

Mindlessly, she opened the door and out of habit lifted up her head to scan through the area beyond it. When she saw the white and black tiled floor, the purple fabrics and the large stone dragon statue, her heart stilled its frantic battering almost immediately, the only goose-bumps remaining on her skin being on her back as she had it turned to Lilia.

And when she saw him, saw Peridot, like clockwork, her entire being seemed to come alive like a flower seeing the sun, and she gasped without meaning to. She swung the door open and took a step forward— then turned around in a panic to bow her head to Lilia.

"Thank you!" Before turning once more, as quickly as she could, to the cause of the feeling of lightness blooming in her bones. "Peri!" She couldn't wipe the smile off her face.

"My Child of Man." He beamed. They were long past the formalities extended to a a newcomer or even infrequent visitor. "You arrived early. Here I was planning to await your arrival, that I may invite you in myself."

"Should I come later next time?"

"Hm. No, that won't be necessary. I'll simply arrive an hour earlier to await you." he smiled casually with his hands on his hips as though it were the only logical conclusion.

Her eyebrows shot up.

"Oh, y-you don't need to—" She recalled hearing that he'd once waited for three hours for a Housewarden meeting to begin, and her guilt ebbed away.

"Well...only if you're sure you want to."

His smile stretched wider as his eyes closed.

"Of course."

'He'd really want to wait for me that long?'

It tickled her chest warmly.

'Does that mean I'm…important to him…?'

Her face began to feel warmer.

Hearing a giggle from nearby, both their heads turned to Lilia.

"I'll leave you to it. Have fun you two!"

-^-v-^-v-^- [ Malleus' Bedroom ] -^-v-^-v-^-

She exited the ensuite bathroom of his Housewarden's dorm room clad in her sleeping robe and saw him sitting on the couch, his bedside table having been moved, now covered in a small tray of cookies. He was wearing a long, black nightshirt that she thought seemed about 200 years out of fashion. For a second she was surprised he'd managed to change so quickly (and didn't seemingly care that she could open the door and catch him at any moment) but then she remembered he probably just snapped his fingers to get changed. She felt a bit embarrassed of her own clothing, an explanation of how they couldn't afford to buy any clothes on the tip of her tongue. But to her relief, he didn't comment on it as she went to sit on the couch next to him.

"I've never slept in the same room as someone else before... So, um...what do people do at sleepovers?"

"Oh?" He cocked his head to the side. "I had assumed you would know of such things."

"I-I'm sorry..." he shook his head in response.

"Fear not, for I acquired that information myself, using one of the machines you humans call 'computers' open to public use in the library." He smiled, looking very pleased with himself.

"You managed to use a computer?" Her eyes widened. Most likely thinking it was in awe, his smile grew even more pleased.

"I did indeed. The Heartslabyul senior, Diamond, instructed me on how to operate the device." He watched her listen to him with rapt attention "Although..." He put a hand to his chin, glancing sideways into recollection. "I did break the tool used to operate it; a 'mouse' I believe it was called? What a flimsy piece of plastic…it crumbled beneath my hand as easily as a dry autumn leaf."

"Oh..." she blinked, giving him a sympathetic expression. "I hope you didn't get in trouble for it." her concern was genuine.

"One of the staff ghosts did become rather upset, and requested I pay back the cost of the item, though that was all. You need not be worried for me. Though I admit I am pleased to know of your concern." He smiled at her once more, dark lips curving upwards in a motion she couldn't force herself not to watch intently.

"So, um, what did you learn?"

She asked, trying to keep her mind from wandering.

"It seems the gist of it is to wear nightclothes, partake in treats, and merely talk. And so, I had some prepared." a troubled look flashed in his eyes. "Upon hearing me speak of it, Lilia was adamant he prepare them…" He shuddered in silence.

'Oh, right, I forgot...Lilia's food is inedible, isn't it?' "It was nice of him to offer, at least?" she cocked her head to the side.

"Indeed." he offered a small sigh. "Although I have long since given up urging him to consider changing his way of 'cooking'."

'Oh, right, I forgot...Lilia's food is inedible, isn't it?' He let out a short, mirthful chuckle. "Though, Artemisia has not yet learned that lesson. She appears vexed by her inability to solicit a change in his culinary habits, no matter the myriad of times she has suggested advice or recipes. She even spoke of gifting him several cook-books for his birthday."

"Would...would that even help?" She whispered the latter part, even leaning closer, as though entrusting him with a secret.

"Given that he already claims to follow recipes...I am unsure."

"Ah, how careless of me, I nearly forgot. to enquire... How are your own dorm-mates faring?" he Has anything of note occurred in Ramshackle as of recent?"

"Oh, Leona has come to Ramshackle a few times recently."

"Kingscholar has?"

"Mhm." She nodded. "He eats dinner there sometimes. But I've only been there once when he's been there. Tomoe usually tells me in advance…" Her tone wilted.

"Do you wish to avoid Kingscholar?"

"'Avoid' is a bit of a strong word…I just... want to give them some time to themselves." She curled up into herself on the couch, hugging her legs with one arm and speaking into the top of her knees. "Tomoe, Leona and Grim…they look a bit like a family when they're together. And it just…makes me feel a bit awkward when I'm there. Like I'm intruding…" She realized instantly that this would be considered 'over-sharing' talking to someone. "Um, I mean-- i-it's not that bad, I just- I'm just not really used to someone who isn't me, Grim or Tomoe being there." She fiddled with the fabric of the couch, lightly scratching her nail over it through her glove, and tried to swallow back the tears she could feel behind her eyes, threatening to spill.

'Why am I crying this time? So annoying…get over yourself. Just because you feel a bit lonely doesn't mean you have to cry about it. And why are you lonely in the first place? Just making a big deal out of nothing again…'

She felt a warmth enfold her hand. Looking down, she saw his bigger, pale hand on top of her gloved one.

"You will never be an intruder here." His voice instantly drew her attention toward him.

She looked at him with a subtle expression he'd come to recognize as one of surprise by the almost blank look on her face and the subtle raising of her eyebrows.

Her heart fluttered. Right… This wasn't 'someone new'. This was Peridot. Malleus.

Silently, she squeezed his hand back. Like he squeezed her heart.

"You mentioned that they 'look like a family'?"

"Right. I think so, at least…I think that's what a family looks like— should look like, I mean…" She still wasn't used to how honest he made her.

"What might you mean by that, more specifically?"

"Um, well… Sometimes, it's like Grim is their child. Like that time I was there: Tomoe was cooking dinner, and Grim and Leona were in the kitchen with her. Grim asked something about how much longer was left til the food was done…then Leona said that if he was going to keep complaining about the time, he should just help Tomoe. And Tomoe said that the same thing went for Leona, too." A small smile crept onto her face. "Then she called them both 'hungry kitties'."

"Kingscholar, a 'hungry kitty', hm?" Closing his eyes, he chuckled.

"…It is a little funny." And she did, too. "Ah, b-but please don't tell Leona I said that… Or that I told you about Tomoe saying that. I think he only doesn't mind when Tomoe says it…" 'If he found out I told someone else about it, Peri especially, I think he'd be mad…'

"Very well. If that is your wish." he said, still smiling. "Still…" and he laughed again. "It will be amusing, to hold such knowledge of him the next time we speak." he gazed off into the distance, in thought. "He does not mind Sakurada being the one to refer to him as such, then?"

"Well… When she said that, they both got upset. But I think it was only because she compared them to each other." Replaying the incident in her mind, she couldn't help but laugh. "Grim said 'myah, I ain't anything like that lazy ol' lion!' and Leona said something like 'Don't compare me to that fur-ball, Herbivore.' And then she said 'Yes, you're both very different.'"

He laughed again.

Hearing that deep, almost rumbling sound, she was utterly enchanted. It was beautiful. And in that moment, laughing at what was essentially gossip, all the while she could see a crumb from the cookies they'd been eating stuck at the corner of his lip, she wondered how anyone would ever be able to look at him and see someone to be feared.

She wanted so badly to sit up on her knees and lean over to cup his face in her hands, and kiss him. She'd never had that desire before. If she'd ever had a crush— or what she thought was a crush…she really couldn't tell anymore, with how she always forgot her feelings felt as soon as they went away— she never had thoughts like that. She wanted their attention on her, yes, and felt overjoyed when they did look at her or talk to her, but this was different. She'd never wanted to specifically do something before— much less do it herself.

She was never one to initiate anything.

And she wouldn't this time either.

But she'd wanted to. So badly that it hurt, the ache of yearning pulsating in tune to her loud heartbeat, resounding from her throat. She forced away the thought of what kissing him might feel like.

-^-v-^-v-^- [ Malleus' Bedroom, Later ] -^-v-^-v-^-

Bringing the candelabra from the desk as quietly as she could, she set it down on the floor in front of her, lighting just one of the candles.

The couch at the end of the bed, where she was meant to sleep, was empty save for a single pillow.

She sat on the floor, near the edge of the carpet, with the heels of her feet on the lightly fuzzy surface and her toes on the cold black and white tile. She was using the purple blanket she'd been given as a shield draped over her small body, its tassels tickling her.

She'd tried to sleep. But she just couldn't. The quiet in the room seemed to want to surround her on all sides, pressing against her like plastic in a vacuum former.

On nights like these, she at least always used to have her plush rabbit Clover with her. She would hug it, and feel less scared; less alone. Because she imagined it could feel the same feelings as she did. That she wasn't alone, that someone could understand the feelings that took over her, that she someone to suffer alongside her. The illusion, for that is all it ever could grant her, at least gave her a little strength.

Yet Clover was no longer with her. It was back in her world; back on earth. Probably in her bag, or in her bed, where she usually kept it. So all she could do was hold herself. Yet it wasn't enough.

Her arms were too…her. Thin, and cold.

She could never mistake them for the touch of another.

Blankets had so often acted as her shield, a warm weight surrounding her, cocooning her, keeping her safe. But now, with no Clover to hold to complete the puzzle, it felt like just what it was: fabric.

Moments like this, with her curled up on the floor in a blanket close to night, reminiscent of similar nights from when she was a child, was always when she could hear her parents the clearest. She imagined them there, arguing, just on the other side of the door…

<----------------------------------------------------------------------------> The crashing sound of the table being flipped over, the plates and drinking glasses crashing loudly to the floor, the sounds of them breaking apart invading her mind, sending adrenaline pumping through her system, making her curl up tighter beneath the blanket.

'Then why don't YOU get off your ass and get a job yourself, huh?!' A muffled yell. A sputter was the answer.

'You DARE to say that when it is MY family's money you're squandering?! And you have not forgotten the neighbors threatened to call someone if we left her alone again, yes? Either stay home with her yourself for once, get a job, or stop going to the pub and count yourself lucky we get that money at all!'

'The money's in our account. If I have to put up with your bitching and whining, I sure as hell deserve a break from it! It's not like I asked for your parents to take fucking pity on us. In fact, I wish they hadn't! I wish I'd never fucking met you!'

'And you think that I asked for this?! You believe I wanted to spend the rest of my life with a foul-mouthed, brainless, pathetic dead-beat like yo—'

— SLAP —

'Fucking bitch. SHUT! UP!'

Someone fell to the floor, panting.

'I can't deal with this fucking shit.'

The front door was opened, then slammed shut. Leaving her alone in the house with her upset mother. If she went out of her room to pee, she would be yelled at. <---------------------------------------------------------------------------->

She was breathing heavier. Her body quivered beneath the blanket. She shook her head from side to side, scratching at the skin of her scalp, gritting her teeth, willing the memories to go away.

'I-I'm safe here…it's ok. I-It's ok. They're not there. It's not real. I'm just—just imagining it. So stop imagining it! Stop it! I don't want to think about it! Go away!'

She covered her head with the blanket and curled up impossibly smaller. As small as the laws of physics would allow without her breaking or dislocating anything. She stretched the fabric to its limits and gripped it hard, willing it tighter over her bones.

She whimpered. It just wouldn't go away. It wouldn't stop. The blanket didn't help. The blanket always used to help, at least a little. Why didn't it this time?

She huddled closer to the candle, hoping to feel soothed by the light. She whimpered again. Louder this time. Without thinking, she put the middle bone of her index finger between her teeth and bit down, feeling the familiar, soothing ache of pain.

Looking at her hand she saw bite marks. Some old, but others new, the most recent only having scabbed over a week prior. There were more under the sleeves, on both of her arms. It was the only thing she knew to do to soother her on-the-inside pain, an itch she'd never been taught how to scratch at, replacing it instead with causing herself on-the-outside pain.

'I won't bite hard…I can't. I couldn't explain the blood to him.' But she wanted to. To distract herself, give herself another reason— a more legitimate reason— to whimper. In pain, this time. She deserved to feel pain anyway.

She...she wanted it.

'That's…'

<----------------------------------------------------------------------------> —SLAP— <---------------------------------------------------------------------------->

'That's what happens when you're bad…' And wasn't she bad? She felt bad. Always. Always, always, always. 'Just a burden...a useless burden who never did anything for anyone. All I did was make everyone's lives worse. Just kept leeching off the wasted good will of others. Of the orphanage owners. Of my uncle. He probably never cared anyway. Why would he? He's...he's probably happy I'm gone. If he even realized it at all.'

But...often, the pain she caused herself felt good to her. It felt familiar, like relief. Almost even loving; the near life-long habit having encoded a sense of the familiar, of the safe, into the act of causing herself pain. But that it was still pain, something bad that she thought she deserved, kept her from denying herself the sensation, the same way she had with almost every other thing that she liked.

But...he wouldn't like it. If he knew she'd hurt herself. And she couldn't clean it off or change into something else.

Her eyes ached, primed to spill over. She knew she'd start sobbing soon.

Dread muddled through her veins thick and slow, the urge drawing her in closer and closer, like a whirlpool. She had to, she had to, she had to, she had to; nothing else would make the dread and fear and panic and desperation go away. The pain would comfort her. It was this or Clover, and Clover was gone—

"Child of Man?"

Her breath hitched. She dropped her hand— barely an inch away from her teeth, into her lap, biting down on her lip instead. She hid her hand back inside the blanket as quick as she could. Caught up in her own spiral, she'd missed him stirring awake.

"Why are you awake? Did something happen?" he asked with a sleepy voice.

'Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no— h-how do I— I shouldn't be awake right now. How do I explain—'

He'd slipped out of his bed to come closer to her.

"I…" she looked away from him in shame. In an instant, an excuse formed in her head. "I had a nightmare…"

Lying was easier than sharing the real reason. But why? She didn't think he'd be upset; that wasn't what she was worried about. She just…didn't want to get into explaining why she couldn't sleep.

"Oh, did you now?" He sat down next to her. Something in her hardened, like a see-through beetle-shell formed around her mind. It calmed her. At the expense of wiping any expression from her face, any vulnerable sincerity from her voice.

"Do you wish to discuss it? I recall Lilia would ask Silver the same once upon a time."

Still not looking at him, she shook her head. "It's okay. I'm used to it. I have them a lot." Her muscles had gone tense, leaving her feeling like a wire skeleton beneath a cloth exterior. Had she been more aware, she would have been surprised to hear the admission of often having nightmares spill from her lips at all; she'd only ever heard it spoken inside of her head before.

A moment of silence followed.

Then she felt his hand on her back. She couldn't keep from flinching. She was sure he felt it too.

"...Child of Man." He spoke in a low, serious voice, causing a slow build-up of dread over her bones. "Look at me."

Slowly, reluctantly, she did.

"So long as I am here..." she leaned back her head to look up at him. As purple met green, the beetle-shell began to slowly melt, thawing like ice."No... So long as I draw breath," his hand drew nearer her, to brush a lock of hair behind her ear... "no evil shall touch you." ...but stopped just before his hand reached her face.

"Even if I fall into slumber," she saw his eyebrows were furrowed ever-so-slightly. "I shall awaken the instant you call for me."

Her lips parted in surprise. She felt something violently grab hold of both her heart and throat and squeeze, taking her breath with it. It hurt, in an 'on-the-inside' way. It was new. Overwhelming. It tasted bittersweet, like medicine.

'...Why? Why would he...?'

"Goodnight, my Child of Man."

The second he began to move away, she felt the sudden loss of that warm, bewildering feeling, replaced too many horrible emotions to name crackling through her body all at once.

"Wait!" The word flew from her lips before she could stop it. Him leaving, even if he were just a meter or two away and would wake up if she called for him, felt horrible. The thought of him not being right next to her, even just to sleep, felt unbearable. And she knew that…she would feel safe if she were next to him. If he were to hold her. The mere thought consumed her body, mind and heart with longing, with want. With shame, too. Shame at daring to think she could ever be allowed something so wonderful.

"…Um…" she said so quietly she was sure he would miss it; it was the strongest she could manage to make her voice in that moment.

"I…" Digging her nails into her wrist, she made herself look up at him and force the words from her lips. "C-can I…sleep next to you?"

She watched, almost in slow-motion, as his expression turned to one of shock.

"You would..." his deep voice began, almost as much of a whisper as her own words.

His parted lips slowly gave way to a smile, brows coming back down. Beneath them his eyes narrowed into slivers of peridot green, crinkling warmly at the edges.

"Of course."

Her eyes widened. 'R-really…?' It was her turn to be stunned. 'He'd really want me to sleep next to him?' Her heart started beating unsteadily, accompanied by a dizzying, nauseating feeling. 'Too good to be true' she'd always called that feeling.

'No, it's probably just because I basically begged him… Not because he wanted to…' He took her hand in his, thankfully not looking at them as he helped her up from the ground. Instead he looked into her eyes. She couldn't look away even if she wanted to. Which she didn't. '…I don't know. I hope he wants to…' When it came to him, she could never convince herself of the words she was so used to thinking.

She would never understand how he could do that. She'd spent her entire life trying and failing to quiet the rioting, wailing thoughts that had scratched at the inside of her skull for as long as she could remember. But all he had to do was look at her, and they faded to silence.

Then she smiled, too. A look of relief on her face.

He lead her by the hand, to the side of the bed. Seeing him sit down and pat the spot next to him, she slowly climbed up and onto the mattress, his hand having extended the blanket until she got in. Expecting to hear creaking metal springs and feel rough linen- not because she thought that's what his bed would be like, but because it was what she herself was used to- she was surprised to see her knee sink into the soft mattress under her weight, then rise right back up as it left with her. He closed the curtains around the bed, enveloping them both in darkness.

For just a moment when they laid down, she was tense, not knowing what to do. But when he covered them both with his blanket- thick, and enchanted, to keep his reptilian blood warm- it was washed away like the closing of an open window that had rattled in the wind. Still, her heart beat loudly.

His bed was very soft, and warm. It felt different from every other bed she'd ever slept in. The sheets were the softest she'd ever touched; they felt like silk. 'They probably are.' The second her head touched his pillow, she thought she was melting into it.

"It's so soft!" she couldn't help but exclaim. "U-um, t-the pillow, I mean…"

"Is that so? If it pleases you, perhaps we should arrange more sleepovers. You are always welcome here."

"R-really?" then her face scrunched up in guilt. "It usually takes me a while to fall asleep…"

"Then shall I sing you a lullaby?" For a second, a spark of excitement glittered in her. The suggestion seemed so...intimate. Just the thought made her heart race...before she forced it to stop.

"I— w-well, what I meant was, I wouldn't want to keep you up so often, with me not being able to sleep..."

"In truth, I do not require much sleep. At least, not as much as humans do. So getting less of it would not negatively affect me as much as losing yours would you."

"So...I wouldn't be bothering you?" she already relished the sensation of being in such a soft place, hearing his voice so close to her in the darkness. 'I shouldn't ask for more than that...'

"You would not." she heard a smile in his voice, and hoped more than anything that she was right. "Though, that does bring me back to my question... Do you think that hearing a lullaby would aid you into sleep?"

"I…I don't know. I've never…really heard one. I mean, I have heard some, just...never had one sung to me." Embarrassment turned into shame and drenched her chest at the admission. 'Most parents sing lullabies to help their children sleep, don't they?'

"Hm." came his reply. She felt a long finger trace the palm of her hand. She froze to focus on the feeling. In the dark, all she could see were his eyes, glowing beautifully chartreuse, gaze still trained on her. Before his fingers all slipped between the gap of her thumb and index finger and held onto her hand gently. She held his back without even stopping to ponder it.

...Was this truly the kind of closeness 'friends' had? The gentle gazing into each other's eyes, holding each other in sleep, the emotion-filled words, promises spoken in hushed tones only to each other?

She didn't want to know. She didn't want it confirmed that it was only platonic, only to lose herself in yearning for something more and becoming discontent. And for the very same reason she didn't let herself even ponder the possibility of it being romantic.

Yearning for something more had never done her any good, only lead to her hopes being crushed, adding more fuel to the fire of the desperate felling of pure hell that always caught up with her sooner or later. So at some point she'd forced herself to stop. It was safer not to look past what was right in front of her. To not imagine any way it could be different...

"Then come closer, and listen well…" And she did, choosing to send her thoughts off with the wind. To once more think of nothing but the current moment.

He inhaled gently, and began to hum a smooth, baritone melody. The sound ran like a flowing stream through her ears, reverberating into the rest of her body. Closing her eyes, she imagined a forest, slivers of golden sunshine filtering through the green of the leaves and gleaming against the surface of a stream. Underneath a large tree, there she was, leaning against someone. Someone with beautiful green eyes.

She was warm, her mind felt fuzzy and her body…strangely heavy… And…safe. Like in this place, nothing would ever hurt her. Like closing her eyes wasn't dangerous. Like here, she could let down her guard without worry.

The tendrils of self-abuse that wanted to drill through her skull to pierce her brain and tell her how horrible she was for burdening him like this, or for 'lying' all to 'get her way' never came. They flitted around the room still, combing through the air. But they couldn't get to her now, in her…no, their cocoon.

Because he was there.

And he said no evil would touch her.

She knew he was right.

She felt her closed eyelids become heavier, locking in place, and her body sinking, sliding closer to his by the dip in the mattress caused by difference in weight.

Right there, body slotted so closely against his, she felt safe. Warm. Cherished, even. Like she…belonged there.

-^-v-^-v-^-

-Malleus-

He stopped singing. "…Irina?" he called out after a while. No answer came to the call of her name. She was fast asleep.

When she'd first asked, he was stunned. He had never slept in the same room as another before, much less in the same bed. Neither his grandmother nor Lilia had ever done as such when comforting him as a child. And as Crown Prince, he surely would never be 'weak' enough to not withstand solitude.

Her head was buried in his chest, and her warm, slow breaths almost tickled. He felt…strange. An unfamiliar sensation lighting up his chest; the urge to do…something. To do what, he couldn't quite place a name to. His heart murmured the vague shape of an idea into his ears, but the idea itself was shrouded in fog, its shape indiscernible. All he knew was the premonition that once he could put a name to and execute said action, it would fill him with a joy he could never before have imagined.

But not the kind that bubbled in him, the giddy fizzling embers she so often caused him.

No, this felt…deeper. The tightness in his chest sang a song similar to that of gratitude. And yet, it was not gratitude toward her that he felt. It was altogether strange.

Malleus looked at the girl in his arms. She was so small compared to him…and so warm.

Before she happened upon him on his walk near Ramshackle that night, how many times had he lamented how cold the world seemed? It could not only have been his quite literally cold-blooded body to blame. No, the cold seemed to seep into his very bones, into his soul. Into his heart. He was perpetually surrounded by a natural quiet; not a muffling or complete dispelling of sound— no, there simply was no sound to muffle or dispel in the first place. Empty. Save for him alone.

But since that night, the cold that crept so deep into his heart had slowly begun to recede. With each chance meeting. With each night-walk shared between the two of them.

The night she first invited him to go on another walk after the sun set the next day, he could have sworn his heart would fly out of his chest with how high it soared. He couldn't keep a smile off his face all day. All around him, people avoided him more than usual, likely on account of said smile. But he couldn't bring himself to care. Because for once, he had been invited to spend time with a friend. For once, he was wanted. Not as crown prince, not for his power...wanted for nothing more than his company; his time.

And now, she was there, in his arms. It felt like a miracle. One he should thank someone for. For her not fearing him. For her staying up late every night to go on walks with him. For her always listening to his rambles of his beloved gargoyles. For her coming close enough to touch his cold heart, covered in dust, and warm it in her hands.

He let his fingers wade through the thick, wavy tresses of her pale pink hair. He curled his body so his nose could nuzzle the top of her head.

'You truly are precious, my…' The usual name died on his tongue. It wasn't...special, enough. It was something he could call anyone else.

'…My Irina.'

He held her closer, curled his body up tightly around hers, imagining his draconic wings coming to shield her where she laid, like a precious treasure. In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to keep her where she was, in his arms, forever— stealing her away like a dragon would a princess. To lock the both of them in one tower, where they would live out the rest of their days in bliss.

Such visions of an eternity spent together lulled him to sleep soon after, warm, with a smile on his lips.

-^-v-^-v-^- [ Diasomnia Dorm, the next morning ] -^-v-^-v-^-

-Lilia-

'Sitting' upside down on one of the sofa chairs in the lounge and reading the newspaper, Lilia's legs waved in the air in a content rhythm.

"He would usually be awake by this time..." He remarked to no one in particular by the time he'd finished the paper.

And so he waltzed in the air over the stone floor and hummed a bright, cheery tune from a video Kalim had sent to him— about cats in a marching band, if he remembered correctly— on the long trek, or well, flight, up to Malleus's chambers.

Once stood in front of the door, hand poised to knock, he thought better of it, instead slowly creeping in through the door.

Seeing the blanket on the floor, the couch empty, and the usually open curtains of Malleus' bed closed, he smiled knowingly to himself.

He peeked his face in through the curtains at the end of the bed, and a pair of green eyes opened and narrowed dangerously at him as Malleus' head shot up from the pillow to glower at him at the speed of his lightning. His murderous gaze, like a dragon prepared to guard his hoard, mellowed out into a mere pout when he realized who it was— a clear, silent sign telling him to 'leave'.

And so he made like a tree. He smiled widely and removed his face from the curtains, hearing a small hiss at the tiny sliver of light that escaped through before they properly closed again, before leaving quietly out the door.

'Should I draw up wedding plans already, I wonder…'

He giggled to himself as he went on his way.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These fools don't know they're basically already in a relationship

Writing this made me cry multiple times because they are MEANT FOR EACH OTHER—

If you like Mallina just as much as I do, or even just 0,1% as much as I do, just send me a message ANYWHERE (comments, an ask(private if you'd like), a reblog, in the TAGS of a reblog, DM, etc.) and I will GLADLY add you to the tag list of any future stuff I make for them! ^^

Ignoring all my perfectionist thoughts to 'keep working on this for several months' and just posting it already

In my 'fuck it, we ball' era [ and it's so difficultttttttttttttt (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀) ]

fr you have no idea how proud of myself I am for only taking a month to write all this! My last proper fic took me FOUR months!

I'm just very proud of this one in general honestly~ Shows I really can make good stuff, even LONG stuff, when I put my mind to it!

Tag list: @another-random-paradise @thehollowwriter @faefum @cactus13-rolloflammesimp (thank you very much for the idea of this fic~!) @beneathsakurashade

@nyx-of-night @manjoyer-real

[vintage-brass-tc]

Just a little TC update!

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while!! I’ve just been focusing on my studies and whatnot, and for a while I have been falling out of my feelings, because I felt as if M was distancing himself from me a TON, based on his demeanor, lack of verbal and nonverbal communication between us, and because of the fact that I’m not his first pick for everything anymore. U-wise, I just thought, since I was growing less passionate for M, I’d use this opportunity to maybe pull myself together and get over my feelings for both of them in one sweep.

….Recently, though, I think my feelings been picking up just a liiiittle more. It’s funny what great interactions can do to you <3

|||||||||||||||||||||

With M, ever since maybe November or so, I’ve noticed that M had been giving me way less attention than he usually would (or at least, as much as I thought he’d give me in a given moment), and it brought me into total mental disarray.

I thought he hated me, I thought he caught onto my feelings or something and thought I was creepy, I thought he didn’t think I was good enough for him anymore— not as much as I used to be as a tuba player— and it drove me insane. I was so insecure and with any moment he didn’t look at me or pay attention to me during a class or conversation, I was sent into spiral after spiral of panicking. You know the drill, or maybe you don’t! But these feelings were very real to me and they were not fun at all.

With U, things have been alright! It seems like he believes I’m reliable enough to lead my section in jazz band, and knows that I can count rhythms and hold myself up to a high enough standard to play my bass trombone decently in tune (though my muscle memory of the positions aren’t perfect yet, as I’m still learning)… but my improv could definitely use some work. We both know that. He’s still fairly gentle with me about it though!

We had a band trip recently, and U had been giving me the cold shoulder for a good deal of it, making me think I had done something to offend him. Just as my fears about M were brewing, I felt the ones about U doing the same, and was worried I had somehow unknowingly ruined my relationship with both of them, all based on receiving not as much attention from them as I once did.

I was certain I was doomed, but just last week, I had two of the most genuine and uplifting conversations with them, and my heart is full just thinking about them.

~~

First off, U.

He and I had the most casual and upbeat conversation on Wednesday, and he looked at me, listened to me, included me, laughed, and smiled so much!! AHHH it was so much fun!!! He’s seriously such a joy to talk to and I love his boisterous, albeit serious sense of humor. He curses so much when he’s comfortable, and he called the whole class “little bitches” too, haha. ❤️ Having this talk with him was so refreshing because it revealed to me that he cared about what I had to say, and the fact he was looking at ME most of the time and smiled so much when I’d laugh just made me feel so appreciated.

~~

And on Friday, with M, we had a heart-to-heart, and it went better than anything I’d ever imagined it could be. It seriously warmed my heart.

So, for some background, I had a sectional with M on Tuesday, and the whole time it seemed like he was just being passive-aggressive with me (though I later learned it was all in my head): M wouldn’t look me in the eye at all, didn’t include me or look at me when he was speaking to the girls in the room (4 people in a room of 18… so it wasn’t hard to just *glance* and maybe nod), until I made an exasperated comment to myself about being chopped liver because he wasn’t listening to my input… which he responded to with a certain look on his face, maybe frustrated, maybe disdained, but he didn’t drag it out any further because he moved onto the next topic pretty quick.

But it didn’t go the best at certain points, and because I focused on these points so much I let all the better moments slip from my mind, and I was crying the whole way home. All of the insecurities, worries, and hurt I felt for the past few months were pouring out of me, and I decided that I would finally make a move to resolve it after months of consideration, writing him an email that I needed to talk with him. He responded so enthusiastically, I almost felt bad :( and as I thought he would, he responded super quickly with a date and time, which would be on Friday since he was out the other two days, so there I was, left to wait.

But once the day came, as I suspected, I really regretted writing that email because the stress had always come in waves, so by that time I was kind of over it. But I knew the talk had to happen, so I hoped he would remember the appointment (because he’s forgotten three of them before) and collected my thoughts in my Notes app.

And once the when he walked into the practice room I was in… I was relieved for one moment, that he actually remembered. He was in a rush like he had been looking for me, and once he saw me, he looked relieved as well. But then the next second, when he asked me “What’s the matter?” and leaned against the table beside him, I was paralyzed, cocking my head back and forth between him and my phone, totally speechless for a good few seconds. Wanting to make it end, I told him that I had been gathering all of my thoughts on my phone, so I could make sure I was saying the right things.

Then I poured out my feelings. About the tension I felt between us. About me feeling like I was invisible around him, like he didn’t care about me anymore because he didn’t talk to me or look at me as often, about my fear that he didn’t realize just how much I respected him and how much I reflected that through my constant effort in class every day, looking up and acknowledging him when he spoke because I cared about what he had to say. At this point, there were tears streaming down my face, but I was fighting hard to keep my voice steady. I then told him that I thought I had offended him…so I asked, “Did I ever offend you in any way?”

This whole time, M was staring at me with his dark, dark brown eyes, listening intently to what I had to say. It was a lot..but he went around the table, maybe pacing a little before leaning on it and closing his eyes, looking down before admitting his own faults, his flaws that he knew were prominent and needed to work on, like not giving people enough credit for the good things and instead always focusing on the bad.

And not looking people in the eyes in fear of making them nervous or overwhelmed. And then, in response to my comment about him ignoring me and not respecting me back with his actions, and about me being afraid of there being any tension between us, he said this.

“[R]…. You’re a doll. You’re a dear. You’re a sweetie. You are the sweetest kid I’ve ever known. There has never been anything between us, ever.”

And he gave me the sweetest look in the entire world while I looked up at him with the saddest eyes. My heart burst with warmth and butterflies hearing him tell me this, and then he went on about how one of his favorite parts of his day was seeing me every day, so committed and engaged in his class.

He said, regardless of his action of making another tuba the lead tuba in our class, and choosing them for the orchestra, he truly did love my sound so much more…and it was a really, really crushing decision. (I then made an uneasy expression and assured him that I wasn’t here to talk about THAT, because I know why he made the decision— the other tuba totally deserved it for their hard work—though I did nod gratefully at his statement… and it made me feel so much better about my worth and all that.)

After all of this was said, he looked at me with a gentle, sympathetic smile, saying that he could tell, based on the tears, that I was probably holding this in for a really long time.

Looking at the floor and chuckling, I admitted that I was holding it in for a WHILE, because I didn’t want to bother him again with my problems. He immediately piped up and told me “You are *never* bothering me. Ever. Don’t do that— come talk to me right away if you ever start having that feeling again.”

Then he relayed that he absolutely loved having me around…and we only had one more year left together. He said this with a wistful look in his eye, like he was already missing me. I frowned: did he feel the same pain about me leaving as I did? Will he miss me as much as I will miss him?

He asked me if this was all I wanted to talk about, and I was like “Yeah, pretty much…” before I started sniffling. Then he smiled softly, almost adoringly, and asked with a chuckle, “Can I have a hug?” “Yes…” I began to smile and stood up weakly, and fell into his extended arms. His build felt more rigid than it did last time I hugged him. We embraced each other for a second or two, and I thanked him for everything. He said “Of course!!”

Then he pulled away, turned to walk out the door, then stopped. He turned towards me again, then he spoke,

“You are worth the whole world.”

My heart soared at his sentiment. All I could muster out in response was a shaky, quiet, “you too…” and we smiled at each other. I thanked him one more time, he returned it, then he walked out. I stared after him, feeling so, so relieved and so, so loved.

He thinks the world of me. ❤️

[skyward-floored]

Whumptober day 16 — “No one is coming”

I’ve been meaning to write something with Hyrule’s blood curse for ages now and my time has finally come.

This one is a liiiittle heavier than most of them have been, just a warning.

Warnings: blood, stabbing

Ao3 link

————————————————————

Hyrule awoke to a blow in the face.

He jolted backward with a startled grunt, and blindly lashed out at whatever it was that struck him. But his hands didn’t go as far as they should’ve, the movement making a clanking noise that immediately jolted him the rest of the way awake.

He was chained to a wall.

Blood was trickling from his lip, and Hyrule licked it away, blinking his eyes open as he frantically took stock of his situation. He was in a tiny cell, with his arms chained to the wall, and staring at several monsters.

All of whom were giving him the same gleeful sneers.

An acheman stood closer than the rest, having obviously been the one to have woken him up, and Hyrule started to feel panic rise in his chest. The monster grinned when his eyes landed on it, then laughed, the handful of monsters behind it joining in.

“Good morning hero,” it cackled as it leaned in, and Hyrule grit his teeth and prepared to draw on his magic.

But instead of the familiar warm sensation tickling his fingertips, he felt only a heavy weariness sink into his limbs, the familiar feeling of having drained himself of magic sending a wave of vertigo through him. He drooped a little, and squeezed his eyes shut in dizziness and confusion.

This didn’t make sense, he’d been full of magic just last night!

He couldn’t help the groan he let out as his head spun, and heard a harsh laugh assault his ears.

“No magic left in you, Hero. We’ve drained it all, you’re not escaping us this time,” a robed figure said from the corner, and Hyrule could feel the cloying feeling of dark magic emanating off of him. “All the better for when our Master Ganon returns.”

Hyrule felt his stomach lurch.

“Doesn’t matter,” he finally spoke, an edge to his raspy voice. “The other heroes will realize I’m missing, they won’t let you bring him back.”

“Your friends? They don’t even know you’re gone,” the acheman cackled. “Not so long as the decoy we’ve put of you holds true.”

Hyrule felt his heart stop.

Achemen could take the form of hylians, goddesses knew he’d been fooled by them plenty of times. He hadn’t yet warned the other heroes about their shapeshifting abilities; they’d only been in his world for barely a day after all, and he’d been kidnapped on watch last night so nobody would immediately miss him... especially if his likeness had been perfectly assumed by a monster in their midst.

They had no idea he was gone.

The acheman grinned at his obvious distress, and leaned in, grabbing his face as claws dug into his skin.

“No one is coming,” it hissed in glee, and Hyrule spat some blood in its face.

It jerked back and snarled, and claws raked down Hyrule’s cheek, making him cry out. He flinched back and the acheman kicked him to the floor, the other monsters letting out hissing laughs from nearby.

“Enjoy the last day of your life hero,” the wizard spoke up with a laugh. ”Your blood will be spilled for our Master at midnight!”

The acheman kicked him again and Hyrule groaned, too exhausted from magic loss to do anything but try to protect his head. He heard a door scrape open, and the monsters left him alone in the cell, dizzy and terrified.

He couldn’t let them bring Ganon back with his blood, he couldn’t, it was the one thing he’d sworn to himself he’d never let come to pass, but... he had no way to stop them. No way to escape.

And the others didn’t even know anything was wrong.

Hyrule curled up in a ball, his body sore and head spinning, and tried to ignore the acheman’s words that pounded endlessly through his skull.

No one is coming.

(...)

The hours went by much too fast.

Hyrule had tried to sleep, and hopefully gain some of his magic back naturally. But he’d only managed to drowse a bit, and there hadn’t been enough time for him to seriously have any chance at regaining enough magic to do anything.

And so, soon enough Hyrule was dragged out of his cell to a wide forest clearing, weakly kicking and fighting all the way.

He was struck multiple times for his trouble, but even though with the last hit he was fairly sure they might’ve actually cracked a rib, Hyrule kept fighting, kept struggling and clawing against them, because no one was coming. And if he didn’t get himself out, didn’t get him and his blood away, then Ganon was going to return.

Same old, same old, he thought a tad hysterically.

Despite Hyrule’s best efforts, he was dragged to a lone tree in the center of the clearing, tied against it so tightly he could barely breathe. A practical sea of monsters howled and jeered as he was secured, and the wizard from earlier appeared from the crowd, a deadly sharp blade in his grasp.

No one is coming.

A large jar was placed in front of him, and Hyrule felt pure panic fill him at the sight of the pile of ashes inside, Ganon’s ashes, and he weakly thrashed against his bonds, desperately trying to escape.

His struggles against the rope only grew more frantic as the wizard approached him, blade raised as he began to chant something in a language Hyrule didn’t know. Dark magic was pouring from him now, making Hyrule’s stomach churn and his hands shake, and the monsters encircling them howled with glee, their torches lighting up the clearing in an eerie light.

The wizard reached him, and Hyrule could just barely make out a a sadistic grin twisting his lips, an expression that wasn’t solely human.

No one is coming.

He felt a sob catch in his throat, and he threw himself against the ropes, shaking with fear and adrenaline as he did everything in his power to get away from the blade that drew closer and closer to spilling his blood.

The wizard continued to speak in the strange language, as he raised his weapon over Hyrule’s chest, looking out at the crowd of monsters that roared at the promise of blood and their master’s return.

He paused as he watched Hyrule struggle frantically over the jar, then raised his hands, and said words that Hyrule would’ve understood no matter the language.

“FOR LORD GANON!”

Then he twirled around and jammed his sword into Hyrule’s chest, making him scream as it pierced his stomach and sprayed blood into the air.

No one is coming.

The wizard ripped the blade out, and Hyrule choked on a breath, feeling the horribly familiar feeling of his lifeblood draining from inside him. It began to soak his tunic, and much to Hyrule’s panic, slide towards the jar below.

None had fallen in yet, but it was only a matter of seconds, and he watched through a vision blurry with tears at the imminent end of the world he’d fought so hard to protect.

No one is coming.

Nobody except for Ganon, because your blood is going to revive him any second and the kingdom is doomed and you FAILED—

An enraged cry rang out over the howls of the monsters, and Hyrule weakly raised his head, even that small movement pure agony on his chest.

A sword plunged through the middle of the wizard before him.

The wizard shrieked, and disappeared into a cloud of dark ashes, flames bursting around the sword. Hyrule let out another sob of pure relief as Warriors ran towards him through the cloud, face equally worried and furious.

They came.

The ropes around him fell away before Warriors reached him, and Hyrule dropped into whom he took a moment to recognize as Wild’s arms, the champion giving him a look of pure relief and fear.

“Rule, Roolie it’s okay, we’ve got you,” Wild said as he lowered him to the ground, Hyrule unable to stop himself from letting out a whimper of pain. “I’m so sorry traveler. Bandages captain, he needs—“

“I know,” Warriors said sharply, his hands hovering over his chest as he slid to his knees beside them. “Din kid, I’m sorry, it took us longer to find you than it should have.”

Hyrule dragged in a shaking breath as Wild cradled his head, a bit overwhelmed with leftover terror and relief.

And pain. He had had a sword driven through his stomach, after all.

He moaned as Warriors pressed something over his chest, and felt Wild’s hold on him tighten.

“Hyrule, kid, hey look at me, you’re going to be alright, it’s okay,” Warriors said firmly, monsters shrieking around them. The captain rubbed his arm in a comforting motion, and began to dig around in his pouch. “You need to calm down, we’re going to fix you up.”

Hyrule belatedly realized his breath was coming in gasps, and he felt Wild card a soothing hand through his hair as Warriors continued to tend to his stomach.

But he couldn’t calm down, not yet, not while he was still bleeding, not while his blood could still—

“Th-the jar,” he breathed, gulping in a panicked breath, “it’s, it’s G-Ganon—“

Warriors and Wild both turned, but the jar was gone, somehow stolen in the confusion the other heroes were providing. A few scrapes in the dirt seemed to indicate something having dragged it away into the woods, but Hyrule couldn’t find the strength to care at the moment. It was no longer near him, or his blood.

And right now that was all that mattered.

He sucked in another shaking breath, and Wild kept running his hand through his hair, teasing out a few of the tangles and dirt that had gotten matted in his curls.

He felt his eyes begin to close at the soothing motion, but then someone shook him, making him groan.

“Traveler, I need to you to stay awake a bit longer, alright?” Warriors’ voice filtered through his cottony hearing. Hyrule looked up at him, and Warriors gave him a tense smile. “There you go.“

Wild tilted his head up, and when he felt a potion bottle against his lips, Hyrule automatically drank, feeling some of the agony in his stomach go down as he sipped the bitter liquid.

Then strong arms got wrapped around him, and he felt himself get lifted up, head coming to rest on something soft. Warriors’ voice was closer now when he spoke, and Hyrule looked dazedly up at the captain, who’s arms he was now sitting in.

“Hang on ‘Rule, we got you,” Wild said from next to him, still running a hand through his hair. Warriors pulled his scarf over Hyrule, and the traveler finally relaxed under the soft fabric, even though monsters were screeching and his whole body hurt and his tunic reeked of blood.

Because they’d came.

[pinheadbella]

I have a project involving the TDI reboot in the works BUT I will have to go on a liiiittle rant about season 2 first. So SPOILERS BELOW

Season 2 has really great character dynamics and challenges that make me want to like it more than season 1. Bowie and Raj being officially boyfriends. MK and Julia being an evil alliance. Ripper and Axel softening each other up. And the challenges finally aren’t just slightly different obstacle courses/races.

The problem I have is how…disjointed everything feels.

The slide challenge felt weird without Scary Girl. If she wanted to try to be normal (and fail), then she should’ve been around to see the death trap that was the four point slide. And you know she would’ve gone crazy when Damien went tumbling down.

Chase being stuck to Emma during the sap challenge would’ve been funny. Emma didn’t really do much in the sap challenge besides some slapstick with animals. So literally sticking her with her ex when she genuinely doesn’t want to give him another chance would’ve been cool.

Speaking of Emma, why was there literally no acknowledgement of her and Bowie being friends this season? Never interacted. Please you can’t do this to me I wanted closure or them to be besties again or SOMETHING

Millie would have been insane in the bridge challenge. She would’ve fallen back into her judgmental ways to figure out how everyone would answer. And maybe, just maybe, that would get people that Bowie isn’t the only evil person involved in that notebook strategy. I mean, Millie wrote that thing. Wanted to make that into a book. And compound this with Millie shoving Damien down that slide. You got a player who wants to win but goes about it in the wrong way. She’s not malicious, mind you. She just doesn’t realize that what she says or does is wrong until someone calls her out.

Caleb and Priya is a genuinely cute couple. And Caleb being a genuinely nice guy only to be framed as a Justin or Alejandro because of a misunderstanding is a neat twist. But I don’t like how the others get sidelined when Prileb becomes the focus. And when all they say about each other during the team phase is either “we’re a great alliance” or “he’s so amazing,” I kinda wanted them to hook up sooner instead of yknow HALFWAY INTO THE SEASON I mean Ripper and Axel hooked up early-

-which is a perfect transition to Ripaxel. I like how Ripper is less mean because of his crush on Axel. I like how Axel went into the game wanting the be nice. I like how sweet it was for Ripper to write a poem for Axel after finding out she loves poetry. And I actually cheered when they kissed. But then they kept kissing. And kissing. And just making out or flirting whenever they were on screen. I don’t like that that’s what their relationship became. I thought we were gonna get some more serious heart-to-heart stuff that ties back to what Ripper hinted at back in season 1. That his family sucks. And maybe Axel could sympathize with that since she’s too busy training to really connect with people. But nooooo literally throw out all their personality and backstory that’s the way to write them off.

Rapid fire for the characters that I don’t have much to say GO

Nichelle: I think it’s fitting how she quit cause she puts her career over the show. Although it could be handled better so her whole “I don’t need you, Hollywood” thing isn’t shoved down our throats

Damien: I wish he was less of a scaredy cat and more of a nerd and a straightman like he was last season. After leaving last season as a hero, you think he’d be a bit more confident at the start.

Zee: He’s at his best when he’s silly and wanting to be friends with everyone. He’s at his worst when he’s saying things he definitely shouldn’t.

And the thing that I thought was going to be the overarching plot. The cheating arc. I really thought the hockey bros were gonna struggle with this. That Chris causally dropping that he’s okay with cheating would break them or make them call foul. But nope. Now those guys are there to be silly. They are entertaining and I still love them. But I fear that they’re gonna get out of the game without leaving much of a mark on the rest of the cast. And let’s not forget the active cheaters. Ripper only cheated in one challenge. But he wasn’t in on the first two cheating schemes. Why did he want to help all of a sudden? And why not make Axel, who was upset about the cheating, be upset at her new bf for helping? Bowie got the most punishment and all we get is a confessional from Julia saying how she gaslit him out of the game? I ain’t buying it. He could’ve gotten more time to actually play fair, prove himself, and come up short. But an even earlier merge didn’t help. Speaking of. Julia and MK. I liked the initiative they took to keep winning. I liked how both of them like messing with people to get what they want. But uuuuuggghh. They really are getting away with it, huh? Just got a beat down and now they’re free of charge. And at this rate, I see one of them making finale and ultimately losing there cause oooOOooooo villains never win Total Drama. So predictable…

…so what if there was a different way to connect all these pieces together? What if I rearranged the challenge order and the elimination order to give everyone their proper amounts of growth? What if some arcs from the original season 2 get tweaked so that every character can contribute in a meaningful way? What if Priya and Julia aren’t the main good and bad guys again? What if some unresolved matters from last season are brought back? And most importantly, what if everyone treated this season like the “grudge match of the century” that Chris said it would be?

I want relationships tested

I want more morally gray moments

I want new allies to join forces and old ones to falter

I want players to go in thinking they know what they’re doing only for someone to screw everything up and make them rethink their life choices

Most importantly…

…I want to write Total Drama Island: Hard Reboot

A season with all the challenges and interactions I loved in season 2. But with different people taking charge. Different power dynamics. A fight for control over the game that’s so intense that you won’t know who the main hero or main villain is anymore. Which’ll make the journey to the finale all the more fun.

So be on the lookout for updates! I’ll be starting school back up soon so this may take me a while ^^’ But I got a whole google doc full of bullet points so it’s gotta become a cohesive story eventually, right?

[royalminty]

,,,Gotta be honest the new HBO Velma is leaving a really bad taste in my mouth...

I’m gonna just start off with this: No, I don’t have an issue with most of the Scooby Gang being POC. The gang’s races has never been an integral part of their character, and adding in some cultural details could be a really fresh way of developing them as characters!

My issue is that... it feels like the people around this show are only calling it a Scooby Doo series for the brand recognition. The HBO Scooby Gang feel like entirely different characters with the Gang’s veneer slapped on top at the last minute.

Velma, for the most part, seems okay? From what I can find, they’re keeping her as the nerdy bookworm, so that’s good, the core of her character is still there. I think they’re also making her cynical, which I have no issue with, it’s been done before. Her design is also totally fine. She’s still recognizable as Velma, she’s appealing to look at, no problems there.

Next is Fred. I really don’t like them calling him the “White guy who takes the credit”. That’s not who Fred is, at least, not in the majority of adaptations. He’s the popular athletic guy who confidently lays out plans. More recent series have made him an overconfident but well-meaning himbo, and Mystery Inc made him an Autistic guy with traps as a special interest, which I loved!

Fred’s kind of a blank slate, you can do a lot with him, so finding out that he’ll be portrayed as kind of a vain asshole is... disappointing. It’s such a boring take on his character.

His design looks fine, though.

Now for Daphne. OUGH the showrunners have no respect for her! "She was attractive, but also… she wore purple. That’s it. Until now… Our Daphne is diverse." John Showrunner, you have clearly not studied your Scooby history. Your Scoobstory, if you will.

Daphne has been a lot of things in a lot of adaptations. Yes, Where Are You made her the clumsy damsel in distress. It was a 1960′s kids show with a Hanna Barbara budget. But subsequent series have built on that. She’s been a hyper-confident hyper-feminine woman who uses feminine things in creative and amazing ways, she’s an intrepid reporter overflowing with curiosity, she’s a femme fatale with expert martial art skills, she’s a hopeless romantic, she’s a fucking weirdo, she’s the leader of the gang!

She is not just “attractive and wears purple”.

It seems they’re going to portray her as a ruthless popular girl with a crush on Velma. Not the worst take they could go for, but she could be better. Take notes on how previous writers have handled her! Have her be the leader of the school newspaper, nosey and ruthless about getting that scoop!

I don’t know, just something that feels like Daphne.

Another character where the design is fine. Kinda wish her hair was a little different but... eh, not a huge deal.

And finally

Norville.

Now, I’ve seen some people complaining about a “name change” but no, Norville Rogers is canonically Shaggy’s real name, so kudos to the showrunners for knowing that!

So... I have some issues with Norville. I’ll start off by being positive: I kinda like the angle they’re going for with him being autistic and socially awkward. That, in my opinion, fits with Shaggy’s characterization! He would be weird, he would be an outcast!

...I really don’t like his design, though. The only thing he has in common with Shaggy is facial hair and a green shirt.

I get that they’re gonna change his hair style to fit Norville’s race, but couldn’t they pick a hairstyle that better suits Shaggy’s silhouette? Give him longer dreads or braids, hey, how about some jheri curls? I think that’d be a good choice, but I’m far from an expert.

Maybe make the chin hair sparser, make his forehead smaller and his chin more prominent?

Norville is also described as initially anti-drug, which makes me think they’re gonna have him eventually be a pothead because of all the stoner Shaggy jokes/theories/headcanons.

And I’m honestly a liiiittle concerned that the only black man in the cast is gonna be a drug-user, it feels a little... eh...

Honestly, it’s really disappointing that the people making a Scooby Doo show don’t seem to have ever actually watched Scooby Doo! They don’t seem to care about the franchise or the characters.

Not only that, but Daphne gets sexualized in the teaser. She’s literally naked with her bits covered by soap bubbles.

This is a prequel series. Fred is stated to be 16. If they’re going off the canon ages, that’d make Daphne 15 and Velma 14.

You see the issue, right?

[ittybluebell]

Itty Bitty Brains - iZombie g/t fanfic (ao3) | Chapter 2

Prev | Next

The beans that worked here were fucking weird.

It'd been a day since Atom had moved in. He'd gotten good borrowings in the night - food, building supplies, etc - and alternated between working and sleeping during the day. He was constructing a lean-to out of cardboard and a Tupperware lid when the sounds of conversation had him pausing to listen in.

"... brain's made... into some kind of astrology nut... There's just... constantly in my head... understand the world better, but at the same time, it's the greatest mystery that I can't wait to solve."

"Right, well," said another voice, one Atom hadn't heard before, "why don't you focus on solving our mystery? You know, the murdered woman whose brain you turned into a hot pocket."

"It's called a calzone, Clive. And yeah, I got it - no pondering the meaning of life as we know it and how everything is somehow connected but not at the same time and- yes, I'm completely focused. I promise."

"Good," said 'Clive.' "Because we're going to interview the widow again. She gave us what she could, but her wife was just murdered - she was barely coherent. I'm hoping that today we can get some information about the break-in. Come on - let's go."

And they were gone, leaving Atom utterly flabbergasted with his jaw hanging and his eyes bulging. She ate... no. No way. Mm-mm. Atom was not living with cannibals. That human bean did not eat-

Oh, he was going to be sick. Just thinking about- nope. Nuh-uh. He was gonna puke. No more thinking about it. Just ignore it and move on. They were not talking about eating brains because that was- that was disgusting. Nobody did that. Nobody ate people and just casually brought it up like the weather. Atom remembered the sound of food being prepared and thrown in the toaster oven. He remembered the tantalizing smell when it came out, how it made his mouth water and his stomach growl something fierce. If that was brains-

Oh, good lord.

Atom made it a few paces away from his campsite before he emptied his guts onto the floor. He heaved and coughed, shuddering as saliva and the taste of bile filled his mouth. He spat and wiped his mouth, hoping that was the end of it, when his mind flashed back to the scent of bread and cheese and fle-

"HRGH."

Oh, yeah. That was gonna fuck him up for a few days.

Night came. Atom found himself several unopened packages of needles in a drawer that was cracked open enough for him to slip inside. He broke one out of its packaging and hefted its weight. It was perfect. The bright green end fit into his palm like it belonged there. He slid the metal into a loop on his pants and the needle sat on his hip like a knight's sword. There was a hop to his stride for the rest of the night, his pride and excitement leading him to nearly skip across the linoleum. He collected other bits and baubles, but nothing compared to the needle. The weight on his hip solidified his place there, giving him some sense of belonging. The dry pasta and staples came close, but they didn't have the same oomph. He had a sword; a symbol of his independence and self-sufficiency. How could he know fear when he wielded such a weapon?

The lights flicked on.

Evidently, Atom still knew fear.

He threw himself under the desk. The pasta shell he'd been carrying clattered to the floor. He swore under his breath, trying to catch a glimpse of the intruding human bean. Pasta didn't belong in an office. If he could just scooch a liiiittle closer...

Footsteps. A sigh from a man. The examiner? 'Clive'? Someone else? Who came into a morgue this late? Wasn't there bad juju around morgues? Fear of bodies coming to life? Ghosts? Just leave! Only the dead and things that go bump in the night belong in a morgue at this hour.

Massive legs swept into Atom's vision. Oh, of course the bean was coming into the office. Of course. Why not? Go make yourself a cup of tea, while you're at it! The human stomped closer. Atom shrunk in on himself, swallowing harshly. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. The shoes stopped dead in front of him. Atom felt like breaking into tears.

Two giant fingers pinched the pasta shell and picked it up. There was another sigh from above. Atom held his breath. Something cold and paralyzing settled in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't move, could barely breathe.

"Liv," the bean said, annoyed. He rounded the desk and settled in the chair. The single piece of conchiglie made several bouncing clacks as it landed on the wood above. Atom slowly and shakily exhaled into his hand. He turned around, coming face-to-face with a pair of shoes crossed at the ankle and a chair wheel.

"Holy shit," Atom said, closer to a gust of air than words.

The bean muttered to himself as he typed on his keyboard and flipped through pages. The sounds of pen scratching paper and clothes rustling were too loud in Atom's ears, challenged only by the thud of his own heartbeat. Atom had to remind himself that no, the human bean could not possibly hear it.

Atom began to rise, only to freeze when the bean shifted. The shoes swapped places, crossing again at the ankle. Atom pushed himself the rest of the way up. He eyed the doorway. Should he risk it or stay here? The bean was doing paperwork. But he might notice something small moving in his peripherals. Beans were hunters, after all. Atom had a greater chance of going unseen if he stayed put, out of the way. Right under the giant man's nose.

"Cause of death," he heard the human bean mutter, "stab... wound... to left lung."

That gave Atom pause. Of course he was going over Jenny's medical report. There were no other recent bodies.

"Wife found her in the morning," the man said. "Window was jimmied open, money and phone were missing. Robbery gone murderous. Knife was a weapon of opportunity. Unfortunately, there were no cameras to capture the break-in. Which means it's going to be almost impossible to track the killer down without Liv's visions."

Visions? Did she have superpowers? From eat- nope, not going there.

But they were looking for the killer? Atom frowned. He remembered that evening very clearly. He could recall every detail as if watching it play out again. He'd peeked out from behind the painting, and then it happened. And he was horrified. He couldn't remain in that house, not after what he'd seen. He was near suffocating in its atmosphere. Leaving was the best option, which he still stood by. Kind of. Okay, so maybe not - the cannibalism and 'visions' bullshit was really making him regret that decision.

"But if the robber was wearing a mask, which they were unless they're an idiot..." The bean groaned and scrubbed his face. "We're back to square one."

Goddammit. Something inside of Atom ached. Something righteous that screamed 'You know! You can help!' and urged him to tell someone. He knew what happened. He saw the whole thing. But what could he do? He was a borrower. He couldn't reveal himself - purge the very idea! Could he leave a clue? But then they would wonder who and go looking for him. He couldn't help. He wouldn't risk his people, his family, his life for one measly bean and some 'righteous feeling.' He was frustrated, not suicidal.

"Get over yourself," Atom growled, combing through his hair and catching knots. He pulled at them, untangling untameable curls. He'd done it since he was a child and was unable to cull the habit. His mother discouraged it, so he learned not to do it in front of her. It was calming, in a way. It helped in the same way that playing with his sleeves or a tool cleared his head.

Atom sat. He would wait for the bean to finish up. There was no reason to put himself at unnecessary risk. He leaned against the metal leg and closed his eyes, listening to the mumbled ramblings of the human. He mostly spoke of the mystery around Jenny's death, but he did mention cures (for what?) and rats.

That gave Atom a start. There were rats here? Of course there were. Because there wasn't enough for Atom to worry about already - the universe just had to add rats.

Rats were borrowers' number one enemy. Rats killed indiscriminately, destroyed homes - families - and encouraged humans to hire exterminators. Then came the traps and poison and cages that forced borrowers to flee their homes or risk death, or worse, discovery. Atom had to move. Again. Any day now, the pest control van would roll in and they'd start spewing fumes and setting up their bone-breaking traps.

"Oh, shit, I forgot to feed you guys tonight," the bean said.

Atom watched the skyscraper of a man go off to the back room. And then he heard eager squeaking. Realization dawned on him. They're pet rats. Lab rats. Relief flooded his body. Well, that changed everything. He didn't have to move.

Atom's head shot up. I need to move. Now! While the bean was occupied. Atom scrambled to his feet and wasted no time sprinting out of the office. He craned his neck to see into the back room. The medical examiner wasn't visible, but the popping of a plastic lid was plenty enough to place him there.

Atom made it back to the safety of the walls without further issue. He melted into his sleeping bag, deflating with a massive sigh and an adrenaline-fueled laugh. That's enough excitement for tonight, he thought.

In the morning, Atom stood atop the very desk that saved his hide last night. Every instinct in his being told him this was a horrible idea and what was he thinking? But he couldn't take it. His own guilt, knowing he could help out but just stood by and did nothing, was overpowering. There was a thrill in being out in the open during the day. His nerves were shot and his hands trembled so badly that he missed his hook throw the first two times, but he couldn't deny the exhilaration that he felt. The forbidden nature gave him a rush like no other.

Atom struggled to hold the pen upright. He wrapped his arms around it in a tight embrace and used his whole body to guide the ink, dragging the pen across the page as he walked. Finished, he rolled the pen back to its original spot. He gave a satisfied nod and proceeded to climb down to the floor, but not before grabbing a paperclip and sticky note. With a sharp yank of his shoulder, the hook came loose and fell into his waiting hand. The sharp point was a hair shy of slicing open his arm. It was a serious risk, injuring yourself with your own hook - you had to know which angles were safe to catch it and which ones were best to just let it hit the floor, even at the risk of making noise. Atom didn't like to risk it, but today felt different. He felt different.

Atom wound up the rope as he jogged back to the kitchen. It was a quick in-and-out errand - go, leave the message, come back. He was riding a high, but he didn't expect it to last long. And his luck wasn't something to be tested. Not like this. He got away with too much lately - his luck was bound to come crashing down around him. And he didn't want to be out in the open when it did.

"Liv! I got the... coffees. Right, then. I'll just leave yours here! For when you get back."

Fuck.

Atom's heart dropped to his stomach. The doctor was here. Atom knew he shouldn't be out in the daytime and he went and did it anyway! What the hell did he do now? He was gonna be seen and captured and dissected and-

Hide! I need to hide. Atom whipped around, searching. Shit shit shit shit. He was stuck in the middle of the floor. But the fridge was right there. Would he make it?

He had to try.

Atom made a break for it. His breath came in great, terrified puffs. His heart pounded louder than the bean's footsteps, beating so much faster than own footfalls. His jaw clenched. Hard. Hard enough to make his teeth ache. His neck prickled furiously, instincts yelling at him to find cover. There were eyes looking for him. A human was too close. He wasn't safe.

Just a bit closer. He was almost there!

"What-" started the doctor's voice.

Atom dropped like a hot stone. He slid across the linoleum, leaving a trail in the dust under the fridge. His chest heaved, sweat damp on his face and back. He laid on his back for a few more moments, basking in the cool air that felt so good on his burning hot skin.

The bean didn't see him. He was alright. Everything was alright.

The bean was in his office. He got the note, if the phone call in the other room was any indication. Atom got away with it. But that was too close. He'd only been here for two days and already had two close encounters with the one human bean. He had to be far more careful from now on; a third save was asking too much. He needed tunnels and a proper home. With all the staples and thumbtacks and pins he'd collected, he felt confident in his ability to make a ladder to the ceiling.

After his heart stopped beating out of his chest, though. A couple more minutes here. 'Here' was nice and cool. Yeah. A nap couldn't hurt, either.

Hours later, Atom had himself a functional stairway up to the ceiling. It was precarious and he'd feel more comfortable with an elevator, but he didn't have those kinds of materials yet. There was an upstairs to this place that he wanted to explore. It was a police station, right? Who knew what sorts of goodies they kept up there. Rulers and snacks and tape and pencils... oh, it would be glorious, he could already tell. His only greater wish was for a craft store next door.

The beans knew about his note. The medical examiner told his friends about the tip that was mysteriously left in his office by someone "With just awful penmanship. I mean, it's like a six-year-old broke into my office and scribbled on my work."

Yeah, screw you, too, buddy. You try writing with a pen bigger than your body.

Liv and Clive were following up on Atom's tip. It probably wouldn't lead to anything without proof, but at least he tried. It satisfied his desire to share his knowledge and that's all that mattered. Not solving the actual murder. Why would he care about what happened to beans? He'd only lived in Jenny and Sara's home for... seven years.

Shit. Maybe he did care.

No. Humans were tyrants with no regard for others. They would kill or torture or sell borrowers if they got their giant hands on one. He couldn't be sympathetic. He couldn't afford sympathy for beans. Just like he couldn't afford sympathy for a rat or raccoon. No, he didn't care about Jenny or Sara. What a ridiculous notion. Atom shook his head as he pulled himself onto the final thumbtack, curly hair flopping around him. He climbed over a wood beam and examined the dark, dusty space that laid above the ceiling. There were cobwebs everywhere - all of them vacant and perfect for sewing and building. Atom rubbed his hands together. Yes, this would do nicely. He just needed that elevator and construction could begin.

Prev | Next

[detectivenyx]

One thing I get hung up when it comes to fangans and the mastermind is why Mastermind chose this particular death? First, there's "why they choose the participants?", "What would they have to gain from some of them dying, and why choose a killing game with class trials and executions ." The last question relates to the intrinsic and extrinsic reasons for existence of the killing. Intrinsic reasons would be the masterminds motivation, and the extrinsic reasons would be how this killing game relates to the themes of the story.

Some Fangans that make it to the end of their story get pretty weak with that last part. If the killing game was "The Hunger Games" or "Battle Royale" with the same cast, would it have mattered to characters and the themes?

Danganronpa itself isn't perfect with this either. Junko designed the death game to emphasize Hope and Despair. The mutual killing format makes more sense for Junko to create than "Battle Royale." Then Danganronpa 2 comes around, and while the themes of hope and despair are present (extrinsic) , the "AI Junko" motivations were pretty weak, as shown in the game. She stated she didn't even care about the deaths. The killing game could have been a battle royale, and it would mean nothing to her. I think it was Danganronpa 3 with Izuru that gave a better motivation for enacting the killing in Danganronpa 2. Also, I think the future vs. past could be a bit better executed using the killing game format or at least emphasized more.

Going back to Fangans, it usually just when someone really want to write a fangan because they love danganronpa without considering why using this format is a good way of emphasizing their themes or if the existence a killing game is properly justified by the masterminds personality and the lore. The class trials and execution become more of obligations to their murder mystery stories. Might as well make regular detective stories. Maybe they can make money off of it. That's just my opinion.

while i don't think DR could ever be perfect because perfect writing does not exist, i do think that this assessment given to SDR2 is not fair. i did not find the decisions made particularly strong ones, but they are made with a specific purpose - that hope and despair might be opposed to one another, but work in conjunction with each other - their 'true' opposite is apathy, which both izuru and junko have in droves. their abilities to analyse and predict what would happen next meant there was nothing stimulating to them, making them both bored and apathetic. junko's been trying to mask her boredom her whole life because nobody really understands how she feels (which is why she took such interest in fucking around with the brain - either so someone else can understand her or she can feel what others feel). she doesn't care that izuru got severely brain-fucked into his situation, he's someone who can stand up to her intellectually and she's beyond excited for it, especially since he is meant to be the other side of her coin. as for junko not really having a motivation by sdr2, she was a liiiittle bit busy with the whole 'got pulverised to death and had people steal her organs and fuck her corpse' thing to have a motive of her own since it's izuru who put her in the system, and primarily to test the things nagito had been yapping on about all game.

i do agree however that fangans kind of just give their chosen mastermind character the very surface level motive of junko's from dr1, read: heehoo despair, and that most of them are pretty bad even barring most of them are written by like, 13-17 year olds (though i've read some pretty bad ones written by people older than me). it's kind of as said - many fangans want the melodrama of a murder and the heart-string tugging of a trial but rely on danganronpa's source material and way too much on appealing to fanservice (which fangan writers forget can be non-sexual) to make it work. even good fangans fumble this because despite her massive popularity, people just kind of treat junko like a generic yandere creepypasta stabby stabby antagonist in her villain era or whatever the fuck the lingo is. she ain't perfect but she's a lot deeper than she usually gets credit for.

[wishi-selfships]

HEWWO WISHI ( ≧∀≦)ノ

I yam interested in knowing a bit more about your ship with Kazuichi!! When you've got the time of course, any ideas or facts, I'd love to hear them🫶

🍪<- cookie for you

(Grins evilly) HAIII FLAKE >■</!!!!! So glad you sent this bc now I get to think about GabiDen 2.0 (so sorry StarSoda/KazWish for calling you guys that. If anything Gabi and Denji are StarSoda 2.0 if you really think about it [Kazuichi was the first shark toothed guy i ever unofficially f/o'd. This is some serious irl Wishi lore])

▪︎ Despite being in the class below Kazuichi, Wishi's actually the oldest !! Not by much, just by a couple of months (She's born in April, he's born in June)

▪︎ Kazuichi and Wishi met due to Sonia, actually !! Sonia and Wishi became friends due to fact that both of them were technically transfers. They'd hang out sometimes either during or after school, and considering Kazuichi's infatuation with Sonia, it was only a matter of time until they crossed paths with one another.

▪︎ Their dynamic is 100% "[A] fell first; [B] fell harder" with Wishi being A and Kazuichi being B. Except Wishi did fall first then proceeded to fall harder because of course she did.

▪︎ In a normal AU, Wishi fell for Kazuichi during their school years, but lacked the courage to do anything about it at the time. Meanwhile, Kazuichi would've realized he caught feelings for Wishi if not for the events that happened, which for lack of better term, distracted him from that. Wishi sort of got a do-over during SDR2 when they were both in the Neo World Program (which is its own story as to why she's in there), where she, in fact, ended up falling first AGAIN. But this time, Kazuichi finally fell harder (hallelujah)

□ However, in a non despair AU, things go slightly better ! And by slightly I mean The End never kick starts because I blended Junko Enoshima so now StarSoda gets to have a silly HS romance >■< In Which Wishi falls first and goes "ohno" because he's like. OBSESSED with Sonia and also because Wishi + Crushes = flustered hell and delusions too maybe. And Kazuichi FINALLY realizes that he's fallen HARD because "oh cute girl who's like really nice to me and is cute and probably likes me?? And is cute and is my friend who's actually been great and is also CUTE!?!" yaeah ♡♡ This time though Wishi actually ends up doing smthn about it. And by that I mean Kazuichi asked her out sometime in his third year bc he didn't have much time left and wanted to get at least a CHANCE at some Highschool romance. Wishi said yes. And by "say yes" I mean she was right about to ask HIM out too (with the same reasoning as him) and went "o.oh you were gonna. ah. okay guess I don't need this anymore" secretly hides heartfelt card she made bc she was too afraid to confess verbally (he got the card anyway)

▪︎ After some time of being friends, Wishi mentioned that she made silly little webcomics in her free-time and Kazuichi near BEGGED her to add him in one. And she went "I'm not doing THAT. EVER!!!" and then immediately added him in the background as a bg character in the newest web comic she was working on.

▪︎ Speaking of. Wishi almost always doodles Kazuichi whenever she's drawing warm up sketches. She's got a little sketchbook and almost all of the pages have some sort of Souda drawing on them. You can actually track her improvement when it comes to drawing him.

▪︎ In HS, they were the couple who technically weren't a couple but . Everyone could tell. "Yeahhh they defo have smthn going on" because they DIDD so then when they actually got together nobody was all that surprised about it.

▪︎ Not much changed when they went from friends to dating in terms of their dynamic, except Kazuichi got, like... REALLY super giddy near the beginning of their relationship. Almost to the point where he was but a liiiittle bit overwhelming. But Wishi knew it was from a place of genuine excitement, and he chilled out a little eventually!!

▪︎ I wanna say that they’re both super affectionate to the point where their friends go “yuck!!” at the PDA but really? I don’t think they’d get thaaat bad about it! While Kazuichi is 100% ready to go HAM with PDA, Wishi is a bit more tactful.

□ … THOUGH WISHI HAS HER MOMENTS!!! She’s definitely a repeat offender of sneaking behind Kazuichi and just completely GLOMPING the hell out of him. Sneaks up behind and jumps on his back ,, koala hugs him too,, Almost NEVER fails to scare the socks off of him!! But then he realizes it’s his GF and he goes from terrified to shakily happy :3c

▪︎ Wishi likes to draw her and Kazuichi together, or just make general art that he’d like, while Kazuichi likes making little trinkets for Wishi!!

□ They've both made eachother little charms and keychains for the other!! Wishi drew out a design and made one out of clay for Kazuichi, while Kazuichi worked overnight on a cute little trinket using the parts of two watches and also a couple of coke cans. It was a very pretty charm that had a neat flashlight function!!

▪︎ I like to think that somewhere in the future, they move in together 💭💭 They probably adopt a cat together (Kazuichi found a cat in the engine of an old car and brought it home and Wishigot attached quickly). Wishi probably ended up publishing her webcomic as a physical thing while Kazuichi finally got to finish that bike project he was working on, as well as being able to open his own mechanic .. um. Shop? I forgot the right word, mb

□ That’s all in a non-despair AU though. In a normal AU, they don’t live together… Technically. Wishi visits Jabberwock Island for half a year annually and lives with Kazuichi when she does, but she does have to leave the island to do her work as a Future Foundation Member (while FF started rebuilding Hopes Peak, I honestly doubt that there still wasn’t other work to be done. She keeps busy tending to Hopes Peak, as well as outside work that the Future Foundation assigns her to do). Fortunately, though, it didn’t really cause a lot of problems in the long run! It was a little difficult at first, but it definitely helped that they kept up contact when Wishi was away! Plus, Wishi started taking quick two-three day visits during the months she’s mainly working just so that the wait isn’t as long/unbearable.

[verm1c1de]

ramble about one of ur aus?

raaagh sadly i dont really have that many let alone fleshed out ones but i will try,,,,

actually i lied i tried to think of some and all i could come up with was my stupid assassin au and yes it is homosexuals all the way down

but furst i gotta explain some background

dib: in the resisty

resisty: cool

empire: fallen

zim: ?????

so now that thats been established we can continue. so now that the empire has fallen the fuck to pieces we still have the tallest left alive. this is a bad spot fur them and theyre fureaking the fuck out and theyre purrobably about to die beclaws thats what mew do with regimes. yaaaay regicide!!!

the only reason they dont is beclaws dipstick goes "hey actually can i keep them. i prommy to feed them and take them on walks and stop them furom killing people plsplsplspls"

and the resisty is like "ugh fine theyre pawerless now anyways. but they have to get pak surgeried to remove all their deadly weapons" and dibs like "yessss"

so now we have the tallest stuck with this idiot in this tiny flying garbage bin that dib calls a "ship." theres literally one bedroom. its crammed. about the size of an apartment at best and it Feels like it. its Hell.

theyve got no pawer, no weapons, tracking chips, efurryone is legally allowed to kill them, theyre stuck with this MANIAC who keeps trying to STUDY THEM and they HATE HIM and HE HATES THEM, he wont even let them TOUCH the ship controls, and WORST OF ALL they dont have constant fancy snacks on hand since theyre on a budget!!!!! life is hell!!!!!!!!!!

but after many many stabbings and fistfights on the floor and biting at eachofur they Eventually get adjusted to eachofur. and they kinda need a better job than whatefur dibs doing to support three people

in comes assassinating. the tallest are still elites and havent furgotten any of their training, and dib at this point is not too shabby himself. its way better than backwater "bounty hunting." this is killing fur Rich People!! and purrobably killing ofur rich people,,,,

the tallest get Some pak weapons back ((mainly the pak legs. very mewseful things)) and get to dress as fancy shmancy as they want ((they steal. they steal furom the rich ppl they kill)) and only try to stab dib a liiiittle biitttttt <33 ok maybe a lot bit but its FINEEEE efurry time they try they get shock collared. so. its even

[gabessquishytum]

dream fucking dilfy hob and realizing he’ll never be able to go back to people his own age is killing me!!! dream & corinthian are uni classmates & started dating some time ago. they’re young and naive and all that and are each others’ firsts for most things. their sex isn’t bad, but it’s very obviously sex being had by a couple of teenagers who could count the amount of people they’ve been with on one hand. they’re awkward and cum too quickly and are just on the wrong side of messy, but they’re young and don’t know any better. how are they supposed to improve if they don’t have experience?

the answer is hob. the two of them aren’t doing well enough in his class, so hob comes over to chaperone their studying…which turns into hob watching the corinthian try to fuck dream, and he’s technically gotten point A to point B, but again, inexperience. dream doesn’t know what he’s missing and cori is too cocky to admit he’s a little mediocre, so hob punished him by forcing cori to watch him fuck dream and turn him onto older men permanently….dream can’t get satisfied with his boyfriends cock anymore, he might just have to go asking professor gadling for another favor……

Asdfgjklhfs poor Cori <333

Dream and Cori are still in the late teens and they're still finding their feet, growing into their bodies... Cori likes to brag about his big dick but he doesn't really know how to use it... and Dream meanwhile is still struggling to give a decent blowjob. They obviously need a liiiittle bit of tutoring from an expert.

Cori is relieved when Hob drops his underwear and his dick is only average, maybe smaller than Cori's but thicker. He's thinking that Dream can't possibly be about to enjoy this but... he's wrong. Very wrong.

Hob puts 4 fingers into Dream’s hole before he even thinks about getting his cock in. Cori usually only gets as far as 2 before he's got to hurry it up. Dream is melting into the mattress, whimpering and arching his back so prettily as Hob stretches him. His noises only get louder when Hob pulls Dream into his lap.

Cori and Dream almost always do it doggy style, for ease of access. But Hob gets Dream riding on his cock. He lifts Dream up and down like a toy, bending him forwards and backwards to hit different angles. And it goes on for ages, even after Dream has cum from having his prostate pounded. Hob coaxes Dream through a second orgasm and Cori's jaw drops. He didn't know that was possible.

Dream even lets Hob come inside him, which he almost never does for Cori. Hob does look a little bit smug as he cleans Dream up and meets Cori's eyes across the room.

Little does he know that both Dream and Cori are about to start visiting him on the sly, both of them thinking that they're betraying the other but unable to keep away from the hot older man. Hob gives Cori his first really good blowjob, and shows Dream that he can get a whole fist inside his cute little hole... he should probably tell the boys that they can be honest with each other, but... he kind of likes being both of their dirty little secrets.

[je-suis-problematique]

Even more RE4 OCs because just Reno isn't enough

So uh we got a little bit too much into the idea of Saddler being completely and utterly dominated by someone and decided we're adding yet another OC to Reno's story to sort of have a character make Saddler their bitch soooo we made Alejandro.

This is Alejandro:

He's a shadow mage dispatched by the Spanish Agency to the Valdelobos region to investigate an increase in suspicious activity among the area's nonhuman folks and specifically Los Iluminados who have been reported to be using magic illegally (yes we're adding magic and supernatural creatures to a Resident Evil story I know it sounds weird no need to tell us that). To those who don't remember us mentioning the Agency in previous posts they're a secret government organization in charge of overseeing the nonhuman population in human society and they do a bunch of shit from hit jobs to offering social services and schooling to nonhumans. Think Men In Black kind of. Anyway Alejandro works for the Agency and his whole job in the Valdelobos region is to mostly just gather data and report back to HQ with what he finds but he gets a liiiittle bit too involved in Los Iluminados business and ends up keeping Saddler as a pet or something along those lines, we didn't really make up our minds yet about where exactly we want to be going with this story.

Like I said Alejandro is a shadow mage meaning that he can use various forms of shadow magic and also has a shadowy demon form of sorts where his corporeal body turns into shadow matter or whatever and he gains extra strength, extra speed/acrobatics, some claws for good measure, and a mouthful of razor sharp teeth or at least just fangs and a powerful bite. He can choose to only turn parts of his body into shadow or go full shadow but going full shadow is very risky for him since that form is unstable and his mind could get consumed/overtaken by the shadows and he'll get stuck as a semi-feral shadow creature forever so he uses that form sparingly. We imagined him to look something like this in his full shadow form:

I'm gonna go ahead and say that Saddler himself is a mage in this story and that he's been amplifying the effects of the plaga in his body with magic so it's not JUST the parasite doing things but also Saddler fucking around with its powers to make them stronger and have them reach farther. The Ganados are not only infected and brainwashed but also being puppeteered by a powerful mage and THAT'S why the Agency got involved. After Alejandro relays that information to his superiors he is given permission to dispatch the problematic mage and is generally allowed to engage in combat if it's absolutely necessary (the Agency doesn't want too many human casualties on their hands) buuuut Alejandro has other plans because he decides that it would be better to subdue Saddler than outright kill him because Alejandro likes the idea of taking over Los Iluminados himself. Think of Alejandro's next actions as a hostile takeover. He likes the idea of coming into possession of all of Saddler's money, power, and influence and basically just goes rogue. The Agency considers him to be MIA for a good portion of the story.

I'm not entirely sure about what Alejandro decides to do with Reno here but I DO know that Leon either lets Alejandro take Saddler prisoner OR Alejandro saves Saddler from Leon somehow and disappears with him. As for Reno, I though it could be cute for Alejandro to let Saddler keep Reno out of pity, but he could've also either killed Reno or handed him back to his siblings for some serious cult deprogramming and therapy. Leaning towards Alejandro letting Saddler keep Reno though just for those extra most-fucked-up-polycule points.

Actually now that I think about it Alejandro could've simply taken Saddler off Leon's hands by saying it's technically Agency business since Saddler is a mage and shit. He could've told Leon he'll be taking Saddler into Agency custody and that they'll deal with him by putting him in Agency prison or something only then Alejandro pulls an Ada and instead of delivering Saddler to the Agency he goes completely off the radar and vanishes into thin air with Saddler. The island is only partially destroyed at the end of RE4 so Alejandro could've gone literally anywhere with the intention to rebuild Los Iluminados to his personal liking with Saddler as his little plaything, possibly with Reno in tow as well. Not Alejandro amassing his own army of nonhumans/magic users to later attempt to take down the Agency or something. Maybe he's grown tired of keeping his powers a secret or maybe he just hates the Agency and feels like they're oppressing the supernatural folks, kinda like Sylas from League of Legends. Maybe this whole fuck-the-Agency attitude stems from wanting to liberate nonhumans and magic users in a fucked up way, maybe all he wants is to be able to be himself openly without fear of persecution. Didn't expect this story to turn political but hey ho here we are I guess. And he uses Saddler for his own little plan of world domination.

This shitshow's about to have sequels LMAO.