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weapon13whitefang · 3 years ago

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What are your opinions on the NOES remake? I know a lot of people hate it but some really liked JEH’s performance… what do you think?

I’ve been meaning to give an honest review of this movie. I just haven’t had a chance to fully gather myself and my thoughts on it. Even after all these years since it’s release lol.

But! Here we go

Okay so before I get into the main character that is Freddy Krueger and main actors, Jackie Earle Haley and Robert Englund, I’m gonna talk about the movie as a whole and why I think people are being a little harsh on the remake. Have your thoughts and opinions on it, but at least hear what others think without trying to bite their head off with “you’re wrong, I’m right” arguments.

Let it be known that I saw the original ANOES when I was eight. I was born in October of ‘91. By the time I was born, “Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare” - the sixth movie of the ANOES franchise - had been released in September of ‘91. It was 1999 by the time I saw the original 1984 movie… And by that time - like many 90s kids - I had already been exposed to other horror/fear icons. Child’s Play’s Chucky, The Silence of the Lamb’s Hannibal Lector, and Halloween’s Michael Myers to name a few.

I was pretty desensitized by the time I got to Freddy. That’s not to say moments didn’t stick with me.

This scene in particular. When his arms are stretched out and he’s coming towards Tina… That’s a moment that’s so surreal and is captured in my head. Because it was bizarre.

But… I wasn’t scared of Freddy. I was fascinated by him. And that’s when I learned about the other films. I didn’t get to see many of the other movies until I was in high school and later in college when I was making my own money to buy the movies. By this point, when I started college/graduated from high school, the trailer for the ANOES Remake was popping up everywhere.

The original Freddy was never scary to me. And I feel I have to say that people saying that “original freddy was way scarier” obviously are missing something very important… Most of us - unless you were like a teenager around 1984 or an adult already - saw ANOES when we were children. And that’s normal. It’s a right of passage into being “a big kid” to watch horror movies like that. To see the classics and/or see a scary movie in a theater (depending on age here). In the 80s things like a child murderer and pedophile were not as commonly studied or talked about. As openly or as accessibly. That’s not to say there wasn’t stuff like that happening. There was and yeah it was written about (even before the 80s with stuff like Lolita from 1955). But access to shit like that wasn’t as easy to hear about as it is now. Some literature was even banned to talk about. Now I can literally use my pocket computer - my cell phone - to look up any current event I want and hear about stuff that used to take months to hear about, in a matter of seconds. Twitter, YouTube, Reddit, and such have made it so easy to know what’s going on. Back in the 80s and 90s, news and such took longer for people to gain access to. TV and newspapers often didn’t get updated until a day or two later on things.

Basically I’m saying that when the original ANOES came out, it was during a time of a naïve(er) America/World. So something like Freddy was scary to imagine happening/talk about.

Nowadays, Freddy Krueger is encompassed as a Horror Pop icon. He’s a household name. Robert Englund and Wes Craven too. They’re cemented in history because they made a rise during a time of easy cheesy work that’s now nostalgia. A lot of horror films of the past are cheesy or ridiculous. But because they came out during the time they did, and they were new to a naive world, they gained pop culture status.

So jump to 2009 when a bunch of remakes and franchise continuations were happening. By 2009 we had Rob Zombie’s “Halloween”, we had more Child’s Play with Seed of Chucky, we had Freddy Vs. Jason to add to the ANOES and Ft13 franchise, and even the remake of Friday The 13th… And a lot of people actually hated these updates to the franchise or remakes. They were disappointed or dissatisfied because it didn’t bring them the same feelings they got when they first watched the originals. Or they were not impressed by the current standing of their favorite franchise (yup, a lot of people didn’t like Freddy Vs. Jason or Seed of Chucky because the formula they’ve used before with these movies wasn’t cutting it, funny enough). Also wanna point out Robert Englund was in his early 60s still trying to go as Freddy. Just saying that’s impressive but I know that man had to be tired by this point…

Anyway… Me? I personally liked the remakes and continuations. I was amused and enjoyed the new takes on story lines and how they got away with more darker touches with some of these films. I was having fun and got disappointed when so many of the remakes didn’t get any more screen runs or more remakes weren’t being tried because “horror snobs” had shit all over the ones we got.

But moving on before I rage about horror snobs, let’s jump to A Nightmare On Elm Street 2010. I had heard whispers of a remake possibly happening. But then… A teaser trailer dropped. And I was instantly digging up information. I was absolutely intrigued as fuck. I recognized a few faces… Then I really saw the cast list.

Little about me real quick, but back in 2009, while also being into horror remakes and horror/fear/disturbing content in general… I was also very deep into my comic book phase again. When the movie WATCHMEN came out, I read the comic before going to see the movie in theaters (because a friend shoved it up my nose to read lol). Now there are a lot of people that don’t like the Watchmen movie (Which is crazy because it literally is the comic book come to life. Snyder had to cut some of it down. The movie was already 163 minutes [thats already over two and a half hours btw] and the directors cut is like 2hrs and 43 minutes and literally uses the entire comic book to put it together with minor changes… Comic book snobs ugh). But I totally loved it… Because then a certain character and actor caught my fancy. Immediately.

Jackie Earle Haley had fully won my heart. And I immediately attached to whatever work he had done or was scheduled to do… And didn’t realize I’d grown up watching him in Bad News Bears btw but that’s not here or there lol

Seeing his name on the casting list for Freddy Krueger was awesome and relief inducing for me. I was so intrigued and exited by him being picked. People were suggesting him on the internet even! Because his work lately at the time had impressed me and others. Rorschach was done so well. A character whose face you barely ever see but you get to basically see his reaction to everything through his body language… As someone who graduated with a degree in theatre and cinema and who took advanced acting classes… That shit is very hard. And he pulled it off so well. And before that in Little Children he made my heart ache but also stomach twist in disgust appropriately. Because that’s what the character Ronnie is supposed to do. Not to mention in All The King’s Men with him as Sugar Boy... I don’t even think he gad lines for that movie but my god is he great! In my heart I knew he was going to do his best. I wasn’t worried about Jackie taking on Freddy at all. He’d shown multiple ways that he was gonna do this roll well.

And most people will agree with me. They liked Jackie. They - many people - think he was the best part of the movie. Even those that don’t like the remake, generally, they liked JEH’s work. They felt he brought his own touch to Freddy.

Of course Robert Englund is a horror king. There’s no denying he’s always gonna be “the true king of the role of Freddy Krueger”.

But even RE nodded to Jackie as being a good choice. And that’s saying a lot when the former one and only actor for a character gives a nod to the person taking over your spot. RE liked them using JEH…. Now, of course, Englund had his opinion on “why the remake failed” and yeah, he’s not wrong completely… But there’s more to it. And here’s the problem that I’ve seen people have with the movie.

“Jackie isn’t Robert Englund” - No he’s not. And he’s not trying to be. He was trying and doing the job, of giving his work as Freddy his own take and touches. He’s a good actor and he did his damned all for that roll. We get that RE will always be the true Freddy. There’s no denying he built up a legendary pop culture phenomenon character. But legends can’t always do what they did. He was 62 going on 63 by the time the new movie released. The man had done his time in the roll. The glove was gonna need to be passed on eventually. I respect him for the character he breathed to life. But the fedora for him had to be hung up and passed on dudes. And while it’s a lot to fill, keep in mind Wes Craven didn’t originally want to have a franchise out of Freddy. He wanted it to end at ANOES 1984. So we almost didn’t get the many we got. And if it had stayed at just the first movie, then people wouldn’t be as “snobbish” about JEH taking on RE’s role.

“Freddy just killed kids, he wasn’t a pedophile” - Wrong. Wes Craven wanted Freddy to be a child molester along with a killer, but he decided to avoid outright using it so he wasn’t accused of exploiting the numerous amount of highly publicized child molestation cases in California around the time the film went into production (AKA the whole “Day-care sex-abuse hysteria” that occurred between the 1980s and 1990s. In 1983 it was the “McMartin preschool trial” and in 1984 it was “Fells Acres Daycare Center trial” and each case had California by the throat and had people freaking the fuck out). If you listen to Wes in “Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy” he talks about this choice along with who and how he got the name Freddy Krueger and how he got the idea for the sweater and it’s colors and the fedora hat and the glove. I’m not just pulling this information out of my ass. In the original franchise it was just more subtlety implied is all. Except for there being a line in Freddy Vs. Jason. “He liked kids… Especially little girls” or something like that, is said. It’s not as “in your face” in the original movies, but it was always there. And is even used in some of the Freddy comics and other media that used him. It is especially outright said in “Freddy's Nightmares: A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Series”. Though that isn’t considered cannon but is still highly quoted from by fans for a “timeline” of events for Krueger.

“The makeup was horrible” - Dude… Original Freddy used to look like squished burnt pizza - Hell the look was INSPIRED by pizza - that you got from Chuckie Cheese and some scrubby, bratty kid poked his fingers in and smeared it…. A real burn victim with touches of surreal CGI is better than that at least. Except it does limit JEH’s facial expressions. The mask they gave RE did have good flexibility for him… But Jackie’s history with using his body to act did help him work without much of his face anyway. Just like he’d done with Rorschach. He didn’t have a face - not really - for that role. So he had the practice down.

“The story was boring” - That I can understand and is also my biggest falling grace for the remake. I’ve read copies of the original scripts online. Samuel Bayer and producer Brad Fuller… They basically pulled back. See in 2009/2010 before the movie was released, people had somehow heard a rumor that the movie was going to be PG-13. People got upset and raged about it at them and on many sights. Well because of this, they got scared. New Line got scared… So I’m sure New Line decided to go and pull the plug on some of the original ideas. Which is stupid because New Line hasn’t been known for trying to take over a movie production… But they did also get bought out by Warner Brothers around that time and WB started meddling with projects… When studios start messing with films, they get messed up… And because it looks like they stepped in, these “plug pulls” is what went and made the movie have a choppy opening half. I was so goddamn tired of Kris (played by horror scream princess Katie Cassidy, who I enjoy honestly) and her trying to go into the goddamn attic. I didn’t give a rats ass about that stupid attic… And the dialogue between her and her mother Nora… it wasn’t realistic. Teenagers don’t talk like that to their parents and parents don’t talk like that with their kid. Not normally anyway. I didn’t with my parents… “Who can remember being five years old”… Bitch what? Ugh! IDK It was just choppy and weird. But then we get to the second half after Kris’s death and Jesse’s arrest. That’s when I feel shit starts to pick up/starts to feel a little better. However, we are still getting choppy scenes and awkward and bad jump scares. Like the whole scene where Quentin sees Freddy in the library was actually - from the other scripts I read - suppose to be super cool and really fucking creepy with Quentin walking in to the kids and touching Freddy on the shoulder and the kids all throw their heads back in a silent scream… But, instead, all we got was like a second of it for no reason. That whole scene could’ve just been cut out. We didn’t really need that part… All of that and a lot of scenes were just having Freddy keep popping up and going blarg and yelling at us… So I can admit that, yes, they did flub stuff majorly. But still, for me, the second half was still just better enough to fix it. I also think that if they ever did a directors cut release, people would enjoy that much better, no matter how long it is. Also keep the alternative ending with Freddy turning into his not burned self to fuck with Nancy. It is top tier and is the better ending that should’ve stayed in the final production. I will rant that until the end of time lol.

“Rooney Mara sucked” - Actually she’s a real good actress. This final script they had Rooney use… It didn’t give her as much badass moments like the original did for Heather Langenkamp playing Nancy Thompson. But It should be noted that Rooney has won like 16 awards for her work. At the time of 2010 and ANOES’s release, she’d won an award for “The Social Network”. Then later on in 2011 she did pretty well with “Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” as Lisabeth. Rooney’s actually a fairly talented actress when she is given the ammunition to work with. This just wasn’t an action packed space for her to explore. Plus keep in mind that Nancy Holbrook was supposed to be “the loneliest girl in the world” and Rooney did pull that off. Nancy stood outside of every other character we dealt with. You got that vibe about her when she’s in the hallway of the school talking to Quinton. She’s pulled into herself, she’s not “popular” like Kris seems to be. It’s just her against the world kind of vibe going on. Rooney pulled that off. Plus towards the end of the movie, when she’s bashing / fighting Freddy and playing keep away from him, we got a lot of good moments of her being a badass and coming out of herself and that was good acting from Rooney… Heather got to do a lot of traps and crazy shit with Freddy, but honestly that was actually Home Alone campy and it FIT with Heather's version of Nancy. Both of them - Holbrook and Thompson - were strong characters in their own way. They should both deserve respect for their portrayals.

“Freddy wasn’t scary and what were those dumb lines?” - Ughhh this one is stupid. 99.9% of the lines that are used in the remake - “How’s this for a wet dream?” “You really shouldn’t fall asleep in class” “Did you know that after the heart stops beating, the brain can function for well over seven minutes?” “We’ve still got six more minutes to play” “I’m your boyfriend now” “Your mouth says no. But your body says yes” “Now, why don’t you just fucking die?” “Now that you have me, what game do you want to play next?” “Why are you screaming? I haven’t even cut you yet.”“It’s real. I’m real.” “Wake up. You’re bleeding.” - are all lines from the original franchise. Some - like the “your mouth says no” line - were slightly modified (like for the “mouth says no” line, the original line was “Your eyes say, ‘no, no,’ but my mouth says, ‘yes, yes.’”). Now not all of them are from the original ANOES 1984 movie. But they’re all lines Freddy has used in the franchise. “How’s this for a wet dream?” was originally used in “A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master” as Freddy kills the character Joey Crusel with the waterbed. Even back then that was very cheesy like. Because 80s Freddy was a one liner quipper that said the word “bitch” a lot. So saying they weren’t good lines is you saying they weren’t ever good lines to begin with. But they’re literally taken from original Freddy and his run. Also JEH Freddy is scarier to me in that he’s a Ted Bundy. He was right under everyone’s nose and doing real bad shit but it took the parents awhile because “we didn’t wanna believe it. You all were so innocent”. Bundy had white privilege blinders on him and JEH Freddy had that too. There’s something more scary about a guy who seems so nice and soft spoken turning out to be capable of doing terrible things to kids than a laughing and very obvious man killing kids for so long before he was caught then released on a “technicality of Justice”.

These are the things I generally see people complain about. But honestly it’s “the cool thing” to hate on remakes of anything and that’s just boring. I think the only remake I wasn’t that into - I still enjoy it because it’s part of the franchise - was the newer Chucky in the 2019 film. Chucky was my first ever horror attachment and interested. I’m so used to Brad Dourif’s voice for Chucky that Mark Hamill caught me off guard. Not in a bad way, just that I always associate Mark to the Joker and so it was a weird play for me. I didn’t hate the 2019 remake. But it’s not my favorite remake.

So I get people’s complaints on this movie. But the actors did a good job with what they had. And I think that if they hadn’t cut out as much of the BEHIND THE SCENES stuff we saw/know they filmed - Freddy zipping out of Alan Smith’s (Clancy Brown) body, Dean dying at the house party, the glove making scene (an alternate opening that they could’ve played then done the Dean pool scene opening/death), Kris in Freddy’s cave (which apparently the cave collapses on her and she’s like being buried alive), the supposed alternate scene to Nancy and Quentin ending up in Freddy’s boiler room before the Nancy on the bed scene and they’re in a church (you see a giant cathedral in some of the trailers) and it looked fucking awesome and I believe this is the scene where we see Freddy in a monk robe - and the many other little scenes we see they filmed and we ended up missing out on. Scenes that add more depth to the characters and add more uncomfortable terror from Freddy that they really should let us see/should’ve added to the DVD/BluRay extras. Again, seeing a master cut of this movie would be phenomenal I feel.

If the remake had followed exactly like the original - down to every line and character name and everything that the original did - people would say it was boring and just copying the original. Even if this movie was a top tier masterpiece, people would shit on it. Because people don’t like change and they don’t like new ideas or they think something has to be perfect.

If the original ANOES was released in 2010 instead of in the 80s - as in it was made in 2010 and never existed until 2010 - I do not believe it would be as popular as it is now. 80s and 90s movies just have a more wacky hold on nostalgia. Even when the movies sucked back then, it gains a pop culture following or is still beloved. It’s why so many modern adaptions of stuff from back then are around in kids media - My Little Pony, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, She-Ra, Strawberry Shortcake, DuckTales, Animaniacs, Transformers, and etc - because they stick with people and today’s adults were teens or kids back then and are now running new ideas with old media. I understand remakes aren’t for everyone. But as far as this remake goes, it’s not the worst out there and deserves more than people give.

So… Does that answer your question, anon, about my opinion on the remake?

#anon #a nightmare on elm street #a nightmare on elm street 2010 #freddy krueger #robert englund #jackie earle haley #ask

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yuyupowers · 4 years ago

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aristocrat!seonghwa

aristocrat!seonghwa x fem!reader

genre: fluff

trigger warning(s): patriarchal society mostly. let me know if there’s anything else!

author’s note: none of the pictures are mine!!

for reference, i’m using british peerage (hierarchy). there are five ranks: baron, viscount, earl (count), marquess, and duke - the highest being duke, and the lowest, baron.

second son of a duke

i imagine seonghwa to be someone who values tradition

unlike hongjoong who finds who finds the numerous aristocratic mannerisms pointless, hwa believes upholding these (rather stringent) rules is a sign of respect

perfect gentleman pt.1

excellent in swordsmanship, horse-back riding, and hunting

well versed in poetry, literature, art, and finance

(can maintain a conversation about politics but honestly it kinda goes over his head)

a bit on the shyer side, but a decent conversationalist

good at keeping the flow and mediating in case anyone becomes a little too heated about their opinions

definitely cares about his and his family’s image

naturally caring and tends to dote on those close to him

(translates into excellent manners)

holds the door open, offers his hand when stepping out of carriages, makes sure to walk on the side closest to traffic, diverts conversation when things are too “distressing,” wouldn’t be caught dead alone with a woman that wasn’t related to him or his fiancée/wife

and surprise, surprise !!

this is where you come in

you’re the second oldest daughter, fourth child out of six; born to an earl

hwa’s family had the highest title bestowed upon aristocracy

whereas your family accumulated more wealth and land than the park family

and since both you and hwa were prime marrying age™, your parents decided upon a mutually beneficial marriage

the first time you met seonghwa was under the watchful eye of both your parents, when the park’s invited your family for dinner

tbh, you were pretty relieved when you met him

“prime marrying age” was different for men, so you were just glad he wasn’t some old geezer

and he seemed like a decent person !!

a well put together gentleman, and his image was only consolidated throughout dinner

all in all, you didn’t have much to complain about from the initial impression

though it was kinda annoying when your little sister would not shut up about how he was the handsome man she’s ever met

even if you agreed

and didn’t she say that when she met woo?

anyways

after the first meeting with the park’s, both your parents set up multiple occasions for you two to meet

whether that be evening walks, picnics in the park, etc,,,

you learned a great deal about seonghwa

how his favourite is black, how he loved the stars and that his favourite planet was mars

how he loved kids and doted on your youngest siblings (much to your sister’s glee)

how he enjoyed spending a quiet afternoon with you reading dickens, discussing afterwards the contrast between carton and darnay

how he was always considerate of your feelings and opinions

you liked to think you were a decent judge of character and thought overall that seonghwa was a kind and caring person

but you also noticed a few characteristics that-

you wouldn’t say it was off-putting or anything but,,,

it might bother you in the future

see, you were pretty good friends with hongjoong

and while you weren’t as extreme,

(you didn’t sneak out weekly to hang out with a bar maiden that you definitely did not have a crush on)

you certainly agreed with him on certain points

like hwa, you thought that abiding by certain mannerisms = display of respect

but unlike him, you didn’t care all that much about your image

okay, that was a lie.

you couldn’t say you didn’t care about your image

(social ostracization isn’t exactly fun ya feel)

but you thought it was,,,exhausting

it’s one thing to be respectful, but it’s another thing to say things you don’t mean

to fake humility

to undermine people that are supposed to be your “friends” or “one of you”

to be perfect, when “perfect” was such a subjective term anyways

it just felt so fake and that left a bitter taste in your mouth

even now, you could see all the efforts seonghwa made to constantly keep his image of a “perfect gentleman”

with perfect mannerisms and perfect answers and perfect-

yeah, it kinda frustrated you

not to mention how obedient he was?

of course you didn’t fault him for being a dutiful and filial son, but his loyalty blinded him

and it wasn’t like his parents were bad people !!

no, you’d say they were much kinder than the average noble family

especially considering their status

but when they made important decisions for their son without consulting him,

(because they were more experienced, because they knew better, etc,,,)

and he accepted whatever decision they handed to him?

well,,,

nevertheless, despite being his fiancée, you, by this point, had realistically had known seonghwa for a couple months

and you didn’t feel like it was your place

(at least not yet)

to point this out

so the two of you continued your cordial but emotionally distant meetings

that is until “the incident” (as hwa fondly likes to call it)

okay, so-

one day you paid hwa a visit and the two of you decided to take a walk in his family’s garden

chattering about this and that

a lovely time !!

it was a bit overcast, but it didn’t look too threatening

so the two of you ignored the clouds looming in the horizon and wandered deep into the garden

big mistake

the weather took a turn for the worst, and soon it was pouring

by this point seonghwa was a little panicked

he knew that for women, getting ready could be excessively long and tenuous task

(courtesy of his little sister’s complaints)

and now !! you were getting rained on !! because he didn’t bring an umbrella !! just in case !!

!!!!

he turns to you, ready to shield you with his jacket and lead you back to the manor

but he’s at a loss by what he sees

he had expected you to be upset, to huddle closer to him, to,,,idk, maybe reprimand him for this thoughtlessness??

but instead, he finds you staring up at the dark sky, eyes shimmering with barely contained glee with the biggest smile he’s ever seen from you adorning your lips

he likes your smile

and if he was already confused (he was), he was about to become even more so

because the next thing he knows, you’re hiking your dress in one hand and grabbing his in the other, running through puddles of water and mud and everything in between, laughter falling from you like the rain

up until this point, you had been acting like the perfect (you hate that word) lady

polite, demure, charming-

in public settings, you only spoke when spoken to, with a voice that was purposely soft and soothing

you chatted with his mother and sisters about traditionally feminine things over tea with impeccable manners

whenever you two met, you were always prim and proper; never a strand of hair out of place

but here you were, getting not only yours but his clothes soggy and muddy, laughing without a care about how pleasant it sounded or how loud it was

seonghwa liked to think he wasn’t a judgemental person-

he wasn’t repulsed or anything by your sudden change in demeanor

just.

really confused

and when you looked back, you could tell,if his expression was anything to go by

but your grin only grew wider, because you could work with this

he wasn’t enjoying himself per say; a bit too confused and bit too stiff to do so

but he wasn’t horrified or disgusted

okay maybe he was a little grossed out; he liked to be clean thank you very much

you could work with this.

and so over the next few months, you showed him things he never dreamed of doing

some of which he liked, some of which he didn’t

some he was willing to try, some, less

like sneaking into the restricted section of the library (he’s never been so scandalized in his life)

or visiting the kitchen in the middle of the night so you could teach him how to make some basic recipes (which he surprisingly enjoyed)

or meeting hongjoong

(“of COURSE it matters if they got the colour wrong?! lord help me you’re the most insufferable person i’ve ever met-”)

and the more the two of you explored, the more he,,,real he became.

and vice versa.

gradually, the mask of perfection he worked so on hard to maintain was slipping before you

don’t get me wrong, he’s still kind and caring and a gentleman

but sometimes he would whine and complain when you encouraged him to do something he was less than enthusiastic about (usually something that involved getting him messy)

or he made The Face™ (the disgusted one) to you and when he didn’t like something or someone

or he would be stupidly stubborn about some random fact that you KNEW was wrong but he just WOULDN’T admit if even when you showed him proof

(“seonghwa for the last time toads don’t give you war-” “LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU” “eye-”)

once, he even playfully stole the strawberry from your cake

(big mistake. he’s never doing that again. he never knew a woman could move so fast or be so scary.)

it made you so, so happy because the two of you were finally getting to know each other

actually know each other

then one day, while the two of you were reading underneath a tree at the park

“,,,hey love?” (hwa)

“yes?”

“why are we doing this?”

“what do you mean, dear?”

“i mean,,,i’m not complaining, but i guess,,,why did you decide to show me this part of you? the part that runs around in the rain?” hwa

you don’t reply right away

instead, you shut your book and idly stared at the willow swaying over the pond, wind running its fingers through its drooping leaves

after a few moments of silence

“,,,i wanted to know you and what you believed in. actually believed in.”

seonghwa tilts his head slightly to the side

“love, i hardly think my convictions have changed”

“but do you know what your convictions are?”

and you know when you hear something that resonates with you?

something that strikes deep in your core and makes you rethink everything you’ve know?

yeah,,,this is one of those moments

now it was seonghwa’s turn to set his book aside, falling deep in thought

after an unnaturally long stretch of silence, you began to panic a little

because ?? maybe you misread the situation and got a little too comfortable-

cause i mean you were questioning his core values, which is something he takes very seriously

o god you messed up didn’t you o crap you need to apolog-

“will you help me figure it out?”

“,,,huh??”

“will you help me figure out my convictions?” he asked

and you swear, you’ve never seen such a smile from seonghwa

one that conveyed a plethora of emotions, ranging from honesty and vulnerability, to confusion and loss, to lightness and warmth

it filled you with an unnameable feeling

like something sliding into place, fitting perfectly; like it was always meant to be there, filling you with comfort

shyly intertwining your hands for the first time, you looked up to meet his gaze with a pattering heart and a smile matching his own

“,,,of course.”

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chibimyumi · 4 years ago

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Hey there! hope you're doing well! So I've seen a few takes from people saying that Seb lacks character developement and I wanted to ask your opinion on this? I feel like some people just want him to have some kind of "redemption arc" which sounds weird to me because by now I'd guess people would understand his character and motivations?

Dear Anon,

I am doing great, thank you very much. I hope you too ^^

Sorry for the late reply! It was not for lack of interest because yours is a very interesting question to ask. Indeed, for any other character I would say that for a main character he lacks character development. However, with Sebastian Michaelis specifically I would disagree, because there are multiple factors that dramatically change matters for him. The most important one being Sebas’ age.

Four Years vs Centuries?

Sebas is a supernatural entity that has been around and for centuries if not millennia. We know next to nothing about this demon’s past, but one of the few things we do know is that he has been around and seen quite a lot of the world thanks to his old age.

The older one is, the more fixed their personality is, meaning the less malleable it becomes. Of course nobody is too old to grow or change, but it will ultimately require more time or effort to change such a person.

In our current story Sebas has been around for barely 4 years, which to him must be an equivalent of a few hours in human life. Let’s say you are 20 years old with a certain set of beliefs, principles, personality traits, etc. Now imagine going somewhere you probably have been to before for one hour, and that in that one hour you suddenly change entirely. Not impossible, but quite unlikely.

What must happen before a person would change in such a relative short time must be the occurrence of something either exceptionally shocking, or exceptionally inspiring. In Sebas’ case, at least one did happen, namely the former.

Exceptionally Shocking

As discussed in some detail in this post, the exceptionally shocking did in fact happen to Sebas in his current contract. Canonically Sebas said that he never fought reapers before he fought Grell, and therefore we also know that Undertaker is the second reaper he ever fought seriously. Judging from Sebas’ casual and confident reaction when Grell first invited him for a fight, we know Sebas never had any reason before that time to fear for his life. I mean, look at this confident bitch (Ô_ó)p.

Even after Sebas got really hurt by Grell, he still managed to say something as cocky as: “I have never fought [a reaper] before, so I cannot tell [whether I can beat one]. But if my master tells me to win, I shall.” That is certainly NOT the same Sebas as the one we know now.

After the Campania brawl, we see very clearly how Sebas’ attitude and confidence changed entirely, exactly because for the first time ever he experienced something exceptionally shocking; his life and death was outside his own control. The English translations I have seen are not bad, but they miss a bit of the nuance in the Japanese version. In the Japanese version when Sebas says that even a demon like him cannot withstand a blow from the death scythe, there was some eye-opening realisation in his tone. He learned something new there.

And indeed, most tellingly even at the mere mention of the Undertaker or the prospect of having to run into him again, even Sebas swallows his pride in front of his master, and admits he’d really rather not.

Much later in chapter 85 when they were investigating the mourning lockets, master and servant have a moment of silence thinking about the Undertaker. While to O!Ciel the important memory is Undertaker’s “it is my treasure,” Sebas thinks about the very first thing Undertaker said to him upon deciding to let him live: “I knew you would succeed at protecting the Earl.”

As explained in this post, Sebas has come to project condescension onto Undertaker. Sebas suspects Undertaker is looking down on him, and understandably so because he has no reason to believe otherwise. “I knew you would [...]” is a phrase that reflects control in Undertaker’s hands, and Sebas really hates that. For once Sebas is the prey, and somebody else the predator.

Now here is the character development; Sebas went from over confident and cocky to a demon with PTSD.

(Exceptionally) Inspiring

Though less explicit and game-changing, I would argue that something inspiring also occurred in Sebas’ short time on Earth this time: his master. In this post I compared O!Ciel to a piece of unprocessed raw meat to Sebas, as opposed to other past masters probably being a microwave-meal equivalent. O!Ciel is young and started without power, so to Sebas one he started to see the potential of a fully self-customisable meal, he really started to feel the excitement.

Though, however excited, it would only be a small blip on Sebastian’s radar. In the same post just mentioned, I also discussed how it is very unlikely that eating O!Ciel will change Sebas’ view on humankind because it would need to alter someone’s view shaped through thousands of years.

In this same sense I also argue that though Sebas did change over the course of 4 years in the human world, he wouldn’t change dramatically. His experience in the past four years must be like one grain of sand on a banked scale.

Sebas and Redemption?

My short answer would just be: “Kuroshitsuji ain’t some religiously-laden morale story wherein even a demon must be redeemed,” but that would not be fair (and too short for my M.O.)

It’s an unpopular opinion, but a good character arc or story does not require a redemption arc to work. It just needs to work for any reason. A redemption arc in a character is not like meringue is essential in a macaron. It’s more like chocolate on bread. It can be very nice if it suits well, but please don’t put any chocolate on a salad sandwich please.

For Sebas, I would say that a redemption arc would be the chocolate on a salad sandwich. As discussed above, Sebas is VERY OLD. If he were to be “redeemed” because of 4 years, it’d be like redeeming a lifetime sinner in one hour of repentance. Imagine redeeming Hitler after he saved one puppy or said “I’m really sorry”. Yeah, no.

Besides, this then also begs the question: “does Sebastian need to be redeemed in the first place?” As discussed extensively in this post, most of Sebas’ “evils” are done under someone else’s bidding. And otherwise, because he is not human the way he is “evil” is only because he doesn’t care about human lives; much in the same way most humans don’t care about insects. “AAH a mosquito that might make me itch for a bit! SLAP IT DED!!!” Or if we step on ants while we walk, “oh well, too bad”. That’s Sebas with humans. Do most humans consider humans who eat meat or slap insects “evil that need redemption”? No.

So for Sebas’ or demon standards, he is probably not even that bad. He just wants his food and payment for his hard work.

I hope this had been interesting!

What is Evil in Kuroshitsuji? Philosophy

If humans are insects, then what to Sebas are “humans”?

O!Ciel being a game-changing meal?

PTSD Sebas I

PTSD Sebas II

#Sebastian Michaelis #Character analysis #Character development #Character arc #Undertaker #PTSD #Evil #Redemption

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delu-jean · 3 years ago

Text

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧: 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

(Jean x fem!/reader) -> Angst -> 4.7k

Notes: Sorry for updating a lot later than expected! Here’s chapter eleven, and twelve will be out as soon as I write it. Hope you enjoy!

Ⅹ > Ⅻ

During the night, you had no dreams or nightmares. It was simply peaceful, calming, and warm. Having him beside you (though he was on the floor) gave you the utmost comfort. He was really here with you, resting to the side, while you did the same. Such a feeling that was yearned for, had finally found its way back to you. The first night in what seemed like forever where you actually slept through calmly.

You woke up the next day to see the sun peer in. Through the crack of your blinds, highlighting the walls of your cozy room. The birds, though silent, remained present as the wind rustled quietly. Jean lay on the floor. His hand still clung onto yours from the night before. His grip felt secure and gentle when holding yours. His hair laced over the pillows, as his body was barely covered by the sheets. Only now did you realize how much of a mover he was. Though that was the case, he still miraculously held you through the night. Without causing any discomfort whatsoever.

You wanted to sit in this moment for a tad longer, but knew you would have to ready you both for the day ahead. You tried to slip out of his hand, but to your failed attempt, he gripped even tighter. He really wasn’t going to make this easy. You tried yet again, using your other hand to assist. Regardless, his one hand and few fingers kept you grounded. You thought that was the end of things, but he then pulled you in. Locking you in a tight embrace. You shook your head, both flustered and disappointed. You needed to get away from him, yet here he was, keeping you captive.

“Jean...Jean I need to get up-”

“Not again...no...never,” he mumbled.

It seemed as if he was sleep talking. If he was conscious, he probably would’ve laughed at you by now. You were sad to hear such words. He had gone through so much trauma to the point he couldn’t let go of you.

“I’m not leaving...not yet at least...so Jean, don’t worry and please let me go,” you cupped his cheek as it sank into your touch. His head now leaning towards you, and his face at a closer range. Smiling at the reaction, you then heard a knock coming from outside.

“Hm...I have to go now,” he seemed less tense than earlier. It must’ve been because of your words since he actually let you go. You got up, put yourself in a cardigan, and quickly tied your hair. Maybe this time it was actually Reiner, for goodness sake you would now need to leave a candle there. Just in case next time, it’s a crazy psycho and not Jean.

You opened the door, ready to attack if it was anyone threatening. Though hesitant, you let your guard down, opening the door even wider.

“Ah Y/n! Long time no see,” you stared at the woman, flowers in one hand, while treats in the other.

“Alexandra, what are you doing here?” you smiled shocked.

Alexandra was also a person from the military. An Eldian soldier who commanded her own squad. Though your rank was a tad higher than her’s, she was never too far from you. You both conversed here and there. Though you weren’t as close to her as you were with the warrior unit, you were both mutually acquainted. Enjoying each other’s company from time to time.

“I just came to drop by. If you’re busy, I can come sometime later today,” you didn’t want to be rude and reject her. Even though Jean was over, you assumed that if he had heard someone else (other than you) in the house, that he would keep quiet.

“No no no, I insist. Come in, I’m free,” you led her inside for her to then place the gifts on the table. Now that you thought about it, this was the second time she had been to your house. That being said, you were surprised she still had this place memorized. Not only that, but you were surprised she had come out of the blue. Did she have something important to share, what drove her to come?

“Curious are we?” she laughed as your eyes widened, embarrassed.

“Of course not-”

“Haha, you’re not a very good liar Y/n~”

“I guess you’re right about that,” you grinned as you started to prepare tea. She was just such a lady, and plus, tea complimented any situation. So why not make some now?

“Hm lovely. Earl Grey if I’m correct?”

“Haha, yes you are,” you then placed a cup down. Pouring the tea as she patiently waited. Crossing her legs and setting the treats she brought across the table.

“I’m sorry I’ve come so early in the morning, it’s just that my squad is going to be shipped out sometime tomorrow...so I wanted to say my goodbyes before then.”

“What do you mean? I know you’ll come back,” you smiled as she followed hesitantly.

“Yeah...of course I will,” you then set the teapot down, as she took a sip.

“Hey so...I heard that someone might be getting married,” you start to drink your tea, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Who?”

“Who else but you,” you choked on the beverage, wondering as to how she would know such a thing. You then tried to play things cool, hoping the subject would slowly avert.

“I’m still not understanding?-”

“You and Reiner silly. It’s been going around everywhere...didn’t you know?”

“No...I...I didn’t know that others knew?...”

“Ahh I see. Well, from what I know, the town seems content with such a proposal. The ladies have been talking about what kind of future you both might have, even with the limited time. Not only that, but Reiner’s mother seems ecstatic with both the arrangements, and attention being given,” you then bite down on your tongue. Never would you have thought things would escalate so quickly. Rumors that weren’t even confirmed, yet spread like wildfire. She then placed her cup down, grabbing one of the deserts to munch, and then covered her mouth. She spoke, trying to keep her manners while also enjoying the treat.

“So, have you prepared a wedding dress, did he give you a ring yet, or are you both going to wait for the day of?”

“No...I haven’t been given a ring, nor have I gotten anything.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah…”

“Hm...well okay. Let me ask you a different question.”

“Of course, whenever you’re ready,” she then finished, and took a sip. Eyeing you as you sat uncomfortable, not sure what her next approach would be.

“You do like him, don’t you?”

“Um...well...I...I would say-”

“You know, I’ve always thought the both of you were...how do I say it, cute. Very cute actually.”

“I’m sorry, what?” you laughed a little, thinking she was being sarcastic. Whereas she was being quite serious.

“You two have always seemed so close. You both respect each other, take the time to have one on ones, you also put in the effort to see each other’s families, and just...so much more. You’ve always seemed like a couple, or, couple goals to say the least. Not only that, but you seem to genuinely care for each other. You give words of affirmation, and he gives you acts of genuine affection.”

“How would you know such a thing?” your brow cocked as she sighed.

“My dear, it’s called observation. Speaking of observing, you can’t deny that Reiner is very attractive.”

“I-”

“I mean, he’s a total catch. He’s a very good looking gentleman. One that actually takes care of his hygiene. He’s presentable most of the time, and treats you like the lady you are. Giving you the respect which you deserve. Very attractive in my opinion. Chivalrous, yet understanding of a lady’s worth.”

“I agree with that,” though your feelings for Reiner were platonic, what she stated was...somewhat true. Just disclude the whole “wanting to kill you,” along with the “using you as a way to cope,” and vice versa.

“So you do like him?” she asked as you sat there, not sure about what your response would be.

“Well…” a question then sprung in your head. You put your cup down, to then eye her yourself as she locked her gaze. Awaiting for whatever your answer would be.

“Alexandra what if...what if there was someone else?”

“Someone better looking than Reiner?”

“I...I guess so,” you chuckled as she stared at you in shock.

“No way...did you get with Porco? Wow...you surprise me the more I get to know you-”

“Wait a minute, you think Porco is more charming than Reiner?” You cut her midway through, baffled to say the least. Now you were the person in shock as she smiled cockishly. Proud of such a statement.

“Well...yes...yes I do,” she said shamelessly as you now laughed.

“Wait, but why? I’m genuinely curious,” you said, obviously having a different opinion.

“First of all, his undercut is both sharp and clean. Not only that, but the dirty blonde really suits him. His build is nice, along with the fashion he portrays. Though not too out of the ordinary, you can tell he puts in the effort to look his best.

The energy he gives off is adventurous, dark, and mysterious, you know? But at the same time, he also seems like a gentleman. One who’s misunderstood, yet has a soft interior. His eyes seem to hide an excruciating pain, yet his smile is one full of brightness, and laughter,” you were surprised about how philosophical, and passionate she was when describing Porco...Porco of all people. No offense to him, but you would never see him in such light.

Regardless, she seemed proud to say such a statement, as she then asked you:

“And you? Just what about Reiner intrigues you? I understand for some reasons, but more than Porco?” you nodded to then state:

“I can’t guarantee my description will be a full fledged english essay. But oh well, here it goes,” she listened intrigued, ready to hear your rebuttal.

“Well, he does have a beard. Though Zeke’s is fuller, Reiner’s compliments his face structure. He has a very um...broad build, the blonde suits him well, and over all, is a very sweet person. Compared to Porco, I would say he has a much more timid nature. Don’t get me wrong, he can speak his mind, but is a little more sensitive when doing so. That being the case, I feel as if he’s more relatable. Though, I may be saying this because I’ve known him for longer, outside of Marely of course, I just think he’s the better option-”

“The better option, so he is an option. Meaning that you feel attracted to him. Leading to the conclusion that you like him,” she grinned maliciously as you panicked.

“Um well...I wouldn’t say that…”

“Interesting...but my point still stands haha. If you ever need someone to help you prepare for the occasion...if I come back...I’ll be sure to aid you.”

“Of course,” she then stood up, placing the flowers in a vase. Grabbing her bag, her coat, her hat, standing before you.

“But before I go, just who is this other person?...Are you really seeing someone?”

“I…” you weren’t sure what to say to her, as the hesitation rang in your voice.

“No...I just wanted to know what your thoughts would be,” You know you should have told her yes, but you just couldn’t. You didn’t want to add any more fuel to the fire, and if you couldn’t even tell the warriors, telling someone else shouldn’t have been an option.

“I see, well...farewell Y/n. Let us meet again, and if not here...somewhere else…”

“Yes, of course,” you smiled happily as the door then shut.

You were glad that one, she came to visit you, and two, that things were now over. You sat in your seat, stretching out your arms to hear another knock. Except this time, it was coming from behind you. Your head then flung backwards, your smile growing even wider as your chair tilted.

“Good morning handsome~”

“Good morning beautiful, how are you?”

“Greater than ever, how about you? Did you sleep well?”

“Magnificent. Also yeah, I did sleep well...surprisingly,” you both laughed a little, as you then got up, placing breakfast for the both of you. Though a little full from the meeting before, you still wanted to enjoy a meal with Jean. After all, it had been so long since the last time you did. And plus, that was during your time as a cadet. You weren’t able to enjoy such a feast in the morning.

You both ate in silence. Both of you trying to enjoy the food, and each other’s company. Letting the peace around settle in. Once you had finished both eating, and cleaning up after yourselves, you then decided to speak, asking:

“Did you hear the conversation I had earlier? I’m assuming you probably woke up because of it,” you didn’t ask how much he heard. You instead wanted to see how much he did hear from the man himself. He put the cloth he was holding down. Similar to you, he wanted to see if you’d tell him anything from the conversation. So he asked:

“Was there anything important I should be informed about regarding it?”

“No…” you lied guiltily, but you didn’t know how to handle it otherwise. He then decided to hint you with what he knew, by saying:

“Hm...Is Reiner really your type? Do I have to buff it up, go blonde, and grow a stache?” he then touched his face as you laughed. Both out of silliness, and nervousness. You felt worried knowing he heard that much of your conversation. Meaning, he knew you hadn’t denied Alexandra even once.

“Haha no! I love you just the way you areeee!”

He then looked at the ground, leading him to stand up.

“If that’s the case,” he leaned against the wall, staring at you intensely.

“No? Y/n, why did you say no?” you sighed in defeat, seeing that he most definitely was on your tail.

“I can’t tell her I’m dating a ‘devil’ from Paradis,” you said, trying to make an excuse.

“You wouldn’t have needed to tell her that...just saying yes should’ve been a good enough answer. You didn’t have to say no.”

“I know…”

“Then why did you?..”

“I just...I’m not even sure myself-”

“About this...us?...” he stopped himself while clenching his fist. Though he was annoyed, he didn’t want to push that onto you. He knew you cared about your relationship, and plus, it sounded petty for him to say.

“Never mind...it’s not a big deal.”

“I see…” you agreed, still feeling guilty as he then asked:

“You’re not planning on marrying him...right?”

“Hm,” you think to yourself. Though your mind had run blank, he certainly did not as it ran with rage. Seeing you hesitate when the answer should have been obvious. He just couldn’t handle it, along with his sense of inferiority. Though he had matured, there were still times where acted otherwise. This being one of them.

“I can’t believe you didn’t say no, almost immediately-”

“You know I won’t Jean…”

“Then why didn’t you tell off your friend? You didn’t deny the proposal, or your affection for him.”

Jean wasn’t jealous, rather, frustrated. Frustrated that you weren’t using your words (yet again), nor telling him any of your thoughts. It's like watching a movie with no audio, he wasn’t able to understand your actions even when seeing them. Without any coordination, communication would never reach his side of the spectrum.

He scrunched his eyebrows, and pinched the bridge between them. Though that was the case, he was trying to be patient with you. After all, this was something new and he didn’t want you to feel pressured. Nor did he want you to feel like it was completely your fault. Even if it was, he wouldn’t have known unless you told him so.

“Look Y/n...I really don’t want to fight, especially over something like this. But in order for me to understand things, even if it does hurt my feelings, I need to understand your thought process. That way, I’m able to clear up any misunderstandings. You tend to keep your mouth shut, and that’s not something that we need as of right now. You know how I feel, now it’s your turn,” you were still hesitant, feeling pressured as he approached you. He looked into your eyes. His stare was desperate, yet understanding. Patting your head as you gazed upwards.

“I’m sorry for acting like that...but you know...your actions do hurt me, especially when I don’t know where you’re coming from. So can you please...try to explain?” he pouted as you sighed, ready to convey how you felt. He seemed excited seeing that you were somewhat ready, feeling like a proud father...which was something he didn’t feel often (having both Connie and Sasha). It was a weird metaphor, but the only one which could describe the moment.

“I wasn’t sure if I should tell her. Although I do trust her, it could get out. You never know. Plus, I didn’t want to deny the proposal yet. I still need to talk things out with Reiner, and his mother” he seemed a bit disappointed, leading you to then hug him.

“But I can promise you, it’s something that won’t happen. I love you, and you alone,” he then wrapped his arms around, returning the favour. Him hovering over your top half, as you hugged his torso, still in your seat.

“I see...thanks for that but...I think I’ll still go blonde-”

“NO! I like your brown hair, it’s cute!”

“Cute eh? I guess I’ll keep it then,” Him then smirking at the ego boost, as you sat flushed.

“I love your hair as well.”

---

After breakfast, you both decided to make plans. Heading out for a walk in the park, wanting to spend more time together. If anything, you could conclude it as being a date. You went out for lunch, and strolled together while conversing. Though walking was a great thing, so was sitting. That being the case, you both sat on a bench. Hands intertwined, feet swinging, and him calmly humming. Moments had passed in such comfort for him to ask:

“What’s happened in your life? Well, other than becoming part of the military, and all of the boring stuff.”

“Nothing much, how about you? What’s been happening in yours?”

“Ah...I can’t say too much about that,” he nervously said, as you backed off, understanding it wasn’t something to be said aloud. You both then sat awkwardly, only for you to ask something that you had been curious about.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened? After I left...the truth if possible,” you knew Jean was a truthful person, you trusted him, but you also knew he would sugar coat things to make you feel better. That being the case, you wanted honesty. No matter what. Afterall, you deserved to hear such criticism if needed. It was the least you could do to attone.

“I guess I’ll start off lightly. Um...we did find the cellar, the one which Eren’s father resided in. We also took back Shiganshina, though now mainly used for military purposes...I think. Not only that, but your horse has been doing fine.”

“Violet? How about Buchwald?”

“Yeah, him too. They’re pretty good friends in my opinion,” he looked at you to see that you weren’t content. It seemed as if you wanted to know more, rather than being shielded by the lightness in his words. Since you could make your own decisions, so could he. Deciding that he would tell you instead of keeping you from things. Things that you honestly...deserved to know.

“After you died...I barely slept. I couldn’t eat, train, or even walk for that matter. I was pretty malnourished during that time, refusing to have a meal. I did that feeling guilty that you couldn’t have it with me. You passed and yet I still lived?...it didn’t seem fair no matter what was said. I was pretty grumpy as well. Angry, sad, and confused. Not knowing what to do.

When Marco died, instead of mourning, I instead used it as a way to motivate me. To push myself even further for humanity, so that his death wouldn’t go in vain. But with your death...I couldn’t even. It was too painful to even bring up. Thinking of it as my motivation, seemed both coward like, and sickening.

Everyone else was pretty moody as well. Not sure how to approach such rogue behaviour from me, nor how to accept your death. Even though I made the biggest ordeal, they still mourned. However, even though that was the case, what matters is that you’re alive now. We’ve also talked things through, and now I’m here...with you,” he grasped your hand, smiling softly. The guilt that now built in your stomach, remind you of the pain you put him through. Not only that, but the anguish which held him captive for so many years. Though you put him in such a position...he was still willing to forgive you?

You stared at him. His eyes broken, yet also...in the process of healing. Although you couldn’t change the past, maybe you could alter the present, concluding in a better future for you both. You smiled as his thumb caressed your knuckles, loving the warmth. You sat there for a second, to then ask:

“Tell me...is Berthold alive?...in Paradis?” he then stopped, as he looked at the ground. You understood the answer, based on the actions given.

“How did he die?”

“Armin...ate him-”

“What? That’s only possible if-”

“We had spinal fluid? I know,” you sat there spooked. Just now finding out Paradis had such information, climbing up the latter as you spoke. They’d probably catch up to your wits eventually. Though that was the case, and you could have worried even more, you decided against it. Knowing this wasn’t the time to.

Instead, you decided to focus on Bertholdt. He was really gone...though you assumed it would have been better than being held captive, it still hurt. He must have felt so much pain going through that. Not only did he get eaten, but he was alone. None of you were there to help, nor witness such a sight. It saddened you as your eyes teared. The sweetest person, the only person who didn’t want to fight, was finally taken out of it in such a brutal way.

Jean saw the distress that struck across you, as he then wiped your tears. Trying to console you the best way he could. He knew what it felt like to lose a friend, heck he even thought he lost you. It was a process that hurt a lot...but one that would come to pass.

“What about everyone else?...”

“Hm...everyone is fine...especially Sasha and Connie. Those two are still as lively as ever,” he smiled as you followed suit.

“I’m glad they’re still the hooligans they were.”

“Yeah…me too.”

“How did you get here?...and why are you here?” you asked, genuinely wanting to know.

“Shh...it’s a secret,” he joked, obviously trying to avoid the question. After he answered, you could feel the tension in the air. One not wanting to tell the other everything just yet. You both trusted each other...yet felt as if your intentions...were something to keep behind closed doors…. For now at least.

Jean then sighed, gripping onto your hand even tighter. He, along with you, tried breaking the ice. Him with his actions, and you with your words. Though it felt a little awkward, you still wanted to carry out your conversation.

“You know, even though I tried pushing things aside...after leaving...I could never get over the departure. Separating from you, our comrades, and the place that made me feel...happy...normal...and well...loved,” grinning he then draped his arm over you. Your hand then grabbed his which lay on your chest, both intertwining whilst you both were even closer.

“Also...I’m surprised you didn’t move on. Especially after all of that time,” his expression then changed into a curious one.

“What do you mean?”

“Well...you thought I died. Not only that, but you're quite the ladies man. So I wouldn’t see you having much to...any difficulty actually.”

“I could never Y/n...though it sounds childish, you were my first love. I couldn’t imagine leaving you for someone else, even if you had passed. I would’ve died an old stallion,” he dramatically said as you burst out laughing. He loved seeing the face you’d make when you were happy. How lovely the corner of your lips would lift, the way your eyes crinkled, as your brows lifted the slightest bit. He was glad he could see such a sight, and that he was the cause behind it.

“Who said you won't, ya horse!”

“HEY! I’M NOT ONE!” laughter continued to fill the atmosphere. Both you and him adding your humor to the mood. Laying your head on his chest, and moving in closer.

“You know, if we ever do part ways...don’t feel bad, okay?” you stated.

“What do you mean?”

“It can apply to anything but...I mean death to be more specific. You never know what will happen in the midst of battle.”

“Hm...I guess so”

“But, the guilt will live with me forever. No matter what because...I just love you that much,” you smile to yourself and nod.

“I too, love you just as much...Jean. And I always will.”

---

While you two were enjoying your moment, being yourselves, cherishing each other’s presence, Zeke was not having any of it. He didn’t hate the sight of you being with someone else, it was just that...he thought your priorities lay elsewhere. Both in loyalty, and worth ethically. That being the case, he decided to do the only logical thing. Crash. The. Party.

So, he crept behind the both of you, clawed his hands, and placed them on your shoulders screaming:

“BOO!”

“WHAT THE HECK!” you then smacked his arm, quickly squirming away from Jean.

“Heh, good morning to you as well, Y/n. Now, who’s this we have here?” Before you could respond, Jean sighed, extending his hand. He knew that if he let you talk, you would be put in another awkward position.

“My name is...John. A friend of Y/n,” you wheezed internally. He just had to pick the most generic name, one which sounded like his own. Zeke grabbed his hand, and shook it.

“Ah...nice to meet you John. Anyways, Y/n...Reiner has been looking for you all morning. His face seemed urgent, so I think you should go see him,” though Jean wasn’t pleased, with both Zeke, and the fact you had to leave (him for Reiner), he approved of the notion with a small nod.

“I’ll see you later, Je-John.”

“Yeah...same here,” he then walked the other direction, leaving both you and Zeke to walk towards HQ.

“Were you lying, about Reiner?” hand in his pocket, as the other smoked up a storm.

---

“No, I wasn’t. He actually was looking for you.”

“I see.”

“Also Y/n, just for the record, know that I’m not dumb, nor oblivious. I know what stunt you two were pulling off, trying to lie to me, tch,” he said, clearly annoyed. You inhaled the smoke of cigarettes. Not sure what to tell him. But you were also...laughing a bit. Actually enjoying his reaction since you’ve never seen Zeke so frustrated out of work.

“I see I’ve upset you?”

“Whatever you rascal. How long have you been with him?” he smiled as your hands clasped.

“We really are just friends. I met him at a pub, nothing much has happened between us, nor will anything in general,” he sighed as his tone became a lot firmer. Though he didn’t believe you, he still had something to say.

“You need to be more careful. If it were someone else who had seen, even more rumors would've been speculated, you know that? Plus, friendship or not, know where your priorities stand,” you choked on your saliva, trying to cough as his words caught you by surprise.

Before he could say anything more, the gates to HQ then opened for the both of you to see...Reiner...running as fast as he could.

“Reiner?...”

“Y/n! You’re here!”

“Yeah...I am….”

“I need you, let’s go,” he then dragged you elsewhere as Zeke stomped on his cigarette.

“You may need her...but does she actually need you...Reiner?”

Ⅹ > Ⅻ

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fallout4reactsblog · 5 years ago

Note

In my exploration for fanfic, I stumbled across a Soulmate AU in the Naruto fandom - but not just any Soulmate AU, oh no, it was something that instantly made me crack up (I'll explain why, hold on a sec). You're completely incapable of lying to your soulmate. Dead silence or weird stuttering, or maybe even a strangled noise when the words just won't come out. You just can't. *You can't.* And I thought of DEACON's reaction (lmao), and then thought the other companions would be fun/cute, too!

Cait: At least sole is nice enough to give her a beer, after the day she’s had. It’s an uncomfortably warm temperature from their bag, and it’s not the Gwinnett Stout she prefers, nor the hit of Psycho she needs, but it’s better than nothing. After all, it’s not like they’re obligated to treat her well, or even have an incentive to do so. She’s a bargaining chip that they foolishly accepted.

They return to the campfire, hair still slightly damp from washing out the blood and bone of former raiders. She has to admit that that was fun to watch, at least. They’d made quite a mess out of all those assholes, and seeing the pain be on them for a change was a sort of sick justice she never thought she’d get. She supposes she can cut them a little slack for that.

“Are you hungry?” they ask, rummaging through their bag. “I don’t eat much, but you’re welcome to have anything I’ve got in here.”

She doesn’t want their stupid pity, so she opens her mouth to snap at them and tell them no. She doesn’t want their food, nor the sad way they look at her, like she’s some sort of wounded animal.

Nothing comes out. The words are right there, burning to be said, but her mouth won’t move, and she suddenly can’t make a sound.

“Here.” They hand her what looks to be some sort of grilled meat on a skewer. ��Try some squirrel. It’s fresh.”

She takes it wordlessly, still trying to understand what’s just happened to her.

“Have some water, too. You must be thirsty.”

Suddenly, there’s a can of water in her hands, too, and a knife to open it up.

“Do you need anything else?”

What she really needs is a hit of Psycho so she can make this all a fuzzy memory, but she’s not about to tell them that. It’s none of their business, frankly, and she doesn’t even trust them.

But she can’t say no. She just sits there, mouth open, trying to make any sound to refuse them, to tell them she doesn’t want their help, but her lips won’t move.

“Are you okay?” they ask, and she sees the concern in her eyes.

“I’m just trying to-” She cuts off at the words “say no,” and can’t speak again.

They sigh and lean back in the chair they’d dug out of an abandoned shack. “Cait, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you or anything. I just want to make sure I can take care of you. Since I got out of cryo, my human functions have been on the fritz, so I need you to tell me when you need food, water, or anything else. There’s no shame in it.”

The world is becoming far too clear around her for her taste. She wishes she could have stolen the Psycho stashes from the Combat Zone, but sole had gotten there first. All of her drugs are in their bag, just out of reach.

But she can’t tell them that. She can’t just admit to needing their help, because if she does- Well, she doesn’t want to think about it. But she can’t deny she really needs to be high, and she also can’t deny that the only supply is sitting by her new companion’s feet.

“Just- hand me some Psycho, will you?”

They comply without a word, digging into their bag to pull up a dose, careful of the needle. She snatches it from their hands, relieved to just have it again, and once the drug is rushing through her blood, everything feels better. She can think clearly enough to remember all those stupid conversations she’d overheard, that soulmate bullshit about not being able to lie.

She scowls across the campfire at them, where they’re cleaning their gun, and tries to figure out what the hell this means for her future.

Curie: She’s seen enough wounds to know when a limb is done for. She knows the limits of stimpacks, knows how far their healing can go, and whatever happened to sole to make their arm look like this is far beyond any medicine’s capabilities.

“How do we look?” they ask, dopey grin on their face. She’d administered some chems to at least take away the pain.

“Well-” She searches for the nicest way to tell them the truth.

Their arm is well beyond saving, and she knows it, but to have to tell them that seems impossible. Besides, she doesn’t know how they’ll react. No, she can’t tell them the truth. She’ll have to settle for the old tradition among healthcare professionals of lying and telling them everything will be fine.

But instead of comforting words and false niceties, what comes of out her mouth is a stuttering, jumbled mess of sounds, hopelessly incoherent.

“Don’t tell me you popped some pills, too, Curie.” They giggle a little. “I saw how that worked out for Earl Sterling. Hard pass.”

“No, I did not take any chems. I am just looking at your arm, that is all.”

“Am I gonna lose it?”

Again, she tries to comfort them with a small lie, but again, she stumbles so much over her words that nothing she’s saying makes sense. She frowns at her inability to be professional; after all, she’s lied to many people about their condition since getting out of the vault. This should be no different.

“Careful with that stuttering, doc. People will start to think we’re soulmates or something.”

Her hands freeze over a pair of scissors to cut off their sleeves. “Soulmates?”

“Yeah. You know, the whole ‘there’s one person in the world you can’t lie to, and that’s your soulmate’ thing? Did they teach you about that?”

“Certainly.” She begins cutting at their shirt. “I had just forgotten about it until now.”

“Me, too.” They sigh, a little wistfully. “It’s a shame I never found mine, I guess. They’re probably long dead by now.”

“I don’t think so, madame/monsieur.” A tiny smile creeps to her face, even as she pulls out some chems to sedate them. “But we will discuss this more when you wake up.”

“You know, Curie,” they say, as their eyelids grow heavy. “If I still have a soulmate out there, I hope it’s you.”

She barely has time to process what they’ve said before they’re out like a light, and she needs to get to work.

Danse: It’s easier to be honest at night.

The fire doesn’t quite illuminate sole’s face, just the barest hint of their features as they tell him a story about life before the war. A can of purified water dangles loosely from their fingertips, seemingly forgotten as they tell him about their life before the bombs fell. It’s nice to hear them talk about it; here, people tend to idealize what life must have been like before. To get a second opinion is refreshing.

“I think one of the worst things was the soulmate obsession,” they say. “Everyone was absolutely set on marrying their ‘one true love,’ you know? Most people didn’t even consider anyone else. They wanted their soulmate and their soulmate alone. It made being married pretty hard, especially once we had a kid. So many friends of ours were upset we weren’t trying to find the person who’d been chosen for us.”

“Your partner wasn’t your soulmate?”

They shake their head. “There was war hanging over our heads, and we were both getting to the age that we wanted to settle down. We were happy enough together, so we just went ahead and got married. Why not, right?”

“I suppose so.” Truth be told, he tries not to think about the idea of a soulmate too much. He has more important things to think about, and the idea seems almost childish. A fantasy for someone who doesn’t understand how hard the world is. “Do you regret your actions now?”

They shrug. “Not really. From what I’ve seen, being in love is tough these days.”

He has to agree with them there. “The Commonwealth is dangerous, and more so if you’re committed to protecting someone else. The stress alone of that bond would make survival here difficult. I can certainly see why you would choose to not pursue a romantic connection.”

“What if you did find them, though? What would you do?”

He thinks hard on the question. “The Brotherhood is where my loyalties lie. I don’t think I would prioritize someone else over my duties there.”

“Okay, but what if you didn’t have to? I mean, this person is supposedly your perfect other half. Maybe they would understand.”

He tries to tell them that it wouldn’t matter. Loyalties are loyalties, and he won’t allow someone else to disrupt that, but for some reason he can’t. The words won’t come.

“I suppose I’d have to talk to them about it,” he admits, still wondering why he can’t say what he wants to. “What about you?”

They shrug. “The same, I guess. I’d want to get to know them better, make sure we’re both on the same page.”

They continue on talking, but Danse finds it hard to concentrate all of a sudden. His inability to speak is troubling, and something he’ll need to investigate further.

Later, though. For now, he has to focus on his duties.

Deacon: He has no clue what the hell he’s supposed to do.

Everything had been going fine. He and sole had gone adventuring, and they’d passed by a group of supermutants, and he’d tried to make a joke about having seen a supermutant in drag one time. Just a little something to lighten the mood. The tiniest, whitest lie.

But he hadn’t, no, he couldn’t. His mouth wouldn’t let him. No matter how many times he’d tried, no matter how many different variants of the joke, he couldn’t do it. Because he’s never seen a supermutant in drag (or a deathclaw, or a mirelurk, or anything else) and now it turns out he can’t lie to them, which is inconvenient, to say the least.

He’s not an idiot. He knows he lies compulsively, without even thinking about it, and he knows he can’t stop and doesn’t want to. It’s easy to hide behind a wall of lies, and it’s definitely convenient if you don’t want anyone to ever know who you really are.

But to find out he not only has a soulmate, but that it’s sole, of all people, is really fucking up his day. Because sole is a badass, and the Railroad really, really needs them. And he knows that to get them through these first few weeks of getting settled, he’s going to need to twist the truth and make the Railroad seem like it’s their only option if they want peace. He also knows that he really likes them, and he usually lies to people he likes to make sure that they like him back.

Part of him tells him he has to stop working with them. If he can’t lie, he doesn’t know what to do with himself, and who knows what he might tell them without thinking about it. But the other part of him does like sole, and wants to hang out with them more, and the only way to do that is to talk to them. Which means he’ll have to settle for not lying to them.

He doesn’t know if he can. He doesn’t know if they’re worth it. But there’s that tiny, nagging thought at the back of his head that tell him to forget the lying part, the fact that they’re his soulmate means he ought to at least try.

“Deacon!” Their head appears around a corner. “Want to go bust open a DIA cache with me?”

Like an idiot, he agrees.

Gage: They look like shit. Dark circles hang below their eyes, and there’s still blood on their lips from getting punched in the nose earlier. Those ghouls had really beaten the shit out of them, and even though their stimpacks had healed most of the damage, they still look like they’ve been through the wringer.

“Having a beer before bed?” he asks, settling into the chair across from them. He eyes the other three bottles lined up on the table suspiciously, and wonders if this is their first drink of the night. It doesn’t look likely.

“Having a beer before work, more like.” They rub a hand across their face as if they can scrub away their apparent exhaustion. “There’s too much to do. Can’t go to bed quite yet.”

“Don’t be stupid. If you’re not at your best, these pieces of shit will rip you up. You should sleep.”

“Careful, Gage.” Their eyes shine with mischief. “You keep talking like that, I’ll have to wonder if you actually care about me.”

He tries to tell them that he doesn’t care about them, but again, the words don’t come out. It’s strange. So often, when he tries to talk to them, he can’t speak, like he’s tongue-tied. It’s annoying, especially when he’s trying to get something out of them. He’s a good manipulator, and he knows that, but it’s hard to do that when he can’t seem to lie to them.

Which means, beyond any shadow of a doubt, the new Overboss happens to be his soulmate.

“Fucking hell,” he huffs, and grabs their beer to have a drink of his own.

“Something wrong, Gage?”

He shakes his head, trying to figure out how to phrase it without lying, exactly. “Nothing that I’d see as important.”

The truth is he’s never cared about having a soulmate. In fact, he was convinced he didn’t have one. Everyone around him is an idiot, weak, or too single-minded to impress him. He’d assumed a long time ago that there was no way any of them could be “the one,” and if they were, there was no way he was going to do anything about it.

But the Overboss, well, that was different. For one, it would definitely give him a tactical advantage, and it would make them want to keep him close. No chance of getting shut out. Also, in the part of him that he’d rather ignore, he had to admit that it wouldn’t be bad to be tied to them. They were the only one who he didn’t immediately peg as a moron, and they actually seemed to know what they were doing and how to do it. He liked that.

Yes, this was an advantage to him for sure. He just had to figure out a way to tell them without sounding like an idiot.

Hancock: “Hancock, how much have you had, exactly?”

He glances up to see them standing in the door, an almost disappointed look on their face. He knows them better than that, of course; their disappointment is their excuse to not show their concern. That’s okay, though. He understands.

“Not sure. Wanna join me?”

“John.” They fall to the couch beside him with a huff. “You know I have work to do. Responsibilities. Et cetera, et cetera.”

Laughing, he leans over to rest his head on their shoulder. “Me, too, sunshine. What’s your point?”

They gently tap a finger to what remains of his nose. “My point is we should be getting to those responsibilities, not getting high.”

He shrugs and burrows his head a little more firmly against their arm. They’re so warm, so comfortable, so patient with his antics. He supposes he’s lucky to have them. As they wrap an arm around his waist, he sighs contentedly, happy that they’re here. He can’t think of a single person he’d rather have at his side.

“I’m glad you’re here, sunshine. I missed you while you were gone.”

They lean to rest their head to his, their hair tickling at his scalp. “I missed you too.”

It occurs to him, somewhere at the very back of his mind, that this is probably what love feels like, or at least, what it probably should feel like. This contentment, this bliss. He could walk through fire for even a taste of this moment.

Gently, he takes their hand in his, running his fingers across their smooth skin. Their wedding band glints in the dim light of the Old State House, glimmering gold and perfectly cleaned.

“You must really miss your partner, huh?”

“I guess.” Idly, sole entwines their fingers. “It was hard, though. All our friends married their soulmates, but we never found ours. It was part of the reason we got married, actually; we were tired of waiting for someone we might never find.”

“You ever wonder who your soulmate was?”

“I try not to.”

He opens his mouth to agree, but something stops him. The words catch. It’s a lie, but one that he’s never had an issue telling. As far as everyone else knows, he never thinks about his soulmate, and doesn’t believe in the idea. But for some reason, no matter how he tries to phrase it, he just can’t tell sole.

“Sunshine, will you be honest with me a second?”

They laugh softly. “I’m always honest with you, John.”

“You’ve never lied to me?”

“Of course not.”

Despite how sedated he should feel, given how much Day Tripper he’s probably consumed today, his heartbeat kicks up into overdrive. Suddenly, he’s faced with the possibility of a soulmate, despite spending years denying they exist and longer trying to pretend they didn’t

“Why do you ask?”

As he tries and fails to tell them, “No reason,” he realizes how tough this is actually going to be.

MacCready: “Mac.”

He doesn’t respond. He knows that’s immature of him, but it’s what they deserve. After all, they didn’t tell him they’d joined the Railroad, he had to find out from some rando in Diamond City, so why should he tell them anything?

“Come on, RJ, stop being stupid. It’s not that big of a deal.”

It feels like a big deal, though. He’s trusted them so much, and they couldn’t bother to share this little tidbit of information? It’s not fair, and it definitely doesn’t earn them any conversation. Instead, he’ll sit here and clean his gun and stare sullenly at the fire. That’ll show them.

They huff, obviously irritated, and sit down beside him. He scoots away, which is definitely immature, but he’s beyond caring about his image at the moment. They scoot closer in retaliation.

“I don’t get why you’re so upset about such a little thing.”

“I’m not upset,” he snaps, or at least he tries, but it doesn’t come out like that. It comes out as unintelligible stuttering, and he freezes.

He knows this feeling; the way the words scramble in his mouth before he can say them. He’s felt it once before, years ago, and he thought he couldn’t have it again. After all, Lucy was his soulmate, wasn’t she? His one and only, the person he was meant to be with. But here he is, sitting with sole, unable to say a word.

“Come again?” they say, bumping his knee with theirs.

He stands, stomach twisting. It’s not possible to have another soulmate. He shouldn’t, he can’t. He won’t just leave her behind because suddenly sole is in the picture. Sure, they’re just the right amount of kind, they’re smarter than he is, and they always listen when he speaks. But that doesn’t make them his soulmate, and it doesn’t give him an excuse to move on.

“RJ, what’s wrong?” They stand up, too, peering into the darkness around their camp. “Did you hear something?”

The sound of their voice makes him want to throw up. Not because he hates them, to the contrary, he’s far more fond of them than he has any right to be.

“No. I need to take a walk.”

“It’s dangerous,” they protest. “You shouldn’t go alone.”

Their worry for him is endearing, but he needs to collect his thoughts quietly, before he says something he’ll regret.

“I’m not going far. I just need a minute.”

The fact that they accept it, trust him, and let him go makes everything that much worse.

Nick: “I swear I set it down right here.”

Nick watches them from across the agency, bemused smile on his face as they try to find the sunglasses perched on top of their head. For someone so intelligent, so clever, he’s almost impressed by their antics. Not just everyone can decipher a code, hack a terminal, and then turn around and lose the sunglasses that they’re wearing.

“Ellie, have you seen my glasses?”

“Nope, haven’t seen them.” She shoots Nick a mischievous look across the room, and he chuckles and shakes his head. God, she’s impossible in the most fun way.

“Nick?” The hero of the Commonwealth turns to him, next. “I thought I set them on your desk.”

He almost says, “I haven’t seen them,” but he can’t. Before he can even get the first syllable out, his lips freeze in place, and he can’t speak.

“Hello?” They wave a hand in front of his face. “Don’t tell me you’re glitching on me now, Nick. I still need you.”

“Ha ha,” he says sarcastically, batting their hand away. “I’m not glitching, just having a little trouble, that’s all.”

“Me, too, because I can’t find these stupid...”

They turn away to begin rifling through drawers. Ellie looks at him with a concerned look on her face, but he waves her off, mouthing, “I’m fine,” at her.

He’s surprised, though. He honestly thought he couldn’t have a soulmate, that his better half would be the same as pre-war Nick’s. After all, they do have the same memories, the same personality, they just happen to look a little different. It wasn’t unreasonable to assume that they would have the same soulmate.

He almost wishes they did, as he watches sole begin peering under desks. They deserve better. Someone who can keep up with them, who still has their youth and their whole life ahead of them. Besides, they’re probably still mourning their late spouse. He’s not sure how long he’ll be able to keep this a secret from them.

Especially since he can’t lie.

Piper: She sizes them up discreetly from across the room. They’ve curled up on her couch with the latest issue of the Publick, despite the fact that they proofread every article in it. Still, they look deeply invested. It’s flattering.

Now’s probably a good time, she thinks. She’s known Blue for a while now, and if they’re her soulmate she wouldn’t be upset in the slightest. After all, they’re clever, cute, and their butt looks great in their vault suit. She’s not going to get her hopes up, though, because Blue’s soulmate could have easily been alive with them all those years ago and now be long dead. But, if it does just so happen that everything works out in her favor, that would be almost too good to be true.

She picks a lie carefully, just in case the words actually can be spoken to them. She doesn’t want to sound stupid, or say something that’s embarrassing. Maybe something about her favorite flavor of Nuka-Cola? She’s always been pretty ambivalent about Nuka-Cherry.

“Hey, Blue.”

They glance up from the paper as if they forgot she was there altogether. “What is it, Piper?”

“Do you want to know a secret?”

“Absolutely.” They put the paper to the side and lean forward intently. “Spill.”

She smiles at their enthusiasm and attempts her lie. Nuka-Cherry is her favorite. Such a simple little thing, so inconsequential, something that would be so easy to lie about, if she could.

But she can’t.

“Piper? Are you gonna tell me your secret?”

Her smile spreads into a grin, and she winks at them in a way she hopes is cute and flirtatious. “We’re soulmates, Blue.”

“What?” They jump to their feet, eyes sparkling. “Are you serious?”

“Well, I can’t exactly lie to you about it.”

They’re across the room in an instant, sweeping her into a hug. “Holy shit! I thought I’d never find you, that I’d lost you when the bombs dropped. But you were here the whole time. I just had to get to you first.”

She laughs and wraps her arms around their neck. “That’s right! I was just waiting for you to finally show up.”

They stand in the middle of Piper’s home, arms wrapped around each other, enjoying a moment neither of them knew they would ever have.

Preston: “Preston.”

Their voice startles him. He hadn’t heard them come down the hall, and he hastily wipes the tears from his face and uncurls from his position in the corner. They’re standing in the doorway, green light illuminating the air around them. He forces a smile up to his face.

“Did you need something, General?”

“Nothing more important than you.” They step further into the room and sit down on the chair across from him. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He stands up, straightening his coat out and dusting himself off, forcing away the thoughts of blood that threaten to cloud his vision.

“Preston. You can tell me. I’m not going to judge you.”

For a moment, he considers it. He could lay it all out in front of them, finally let someone else share the burden of Quincy and everything that followed. If nothing else, maybe it would help clear his mind.

But, he can’t. They’ve been through too much to have to shoulder his troubles as well. It would be unfair of him to ask them for help, and unfair to expect them to. They’re doing enough for the Minutemen already.

He doesn’t say that, though. In fact, he doesn’t say anything, because when he tries to tell them that he’s fine and that nothing’s wrong, the words scramble themselves on his tongue and emerge in a mess of sounds with no meaning.

They raise an eyebrow. “You okay there? You didn’t take anything strange, did you? I know Mama Murphy offers, but you don’t have to accept.”

He sighs, though the lightness of their voice does help to lift the mood in the room a little. “No, I didn’t take anything.”

“Well, that’s something, at least.” They reach into their bag which rests at their feet. “Do you want a gumdrop?”

He accepts, and the flavor of artificial orange offers him some comfort. It’s easier to forget about the darkness and rain and the taste of blood in his mouth with sole across from him and half an orange gumdrop in his hand.

“So what was it?” they ask as he chews.

He tries again to brush them off, but when the syllables scramble themselves up again, he gives up and falls back into silence. Across the room, he catches the faintest hint of a smile on their face, and for some reason that stings.

“What’s so funny?”

They wave a hand through the air, laughing just a little under their breath. “Preston, I don’t suppose you’ve ever met your soulmate?”

“I never really looked for them. It wasn’t really a priority, so I-” Realization dawns on him. “Oh. You think? We’re...?

“Well, you can’t just brush me off and tell me it’s nothing, which is what you’re trying to do. Just like I can’t tell you I’m fine when I’m not. It just makes sense.”

And, suddenly, it does.

A stupid grin finds his face as he looks at them, washed in green light from their Pip-Boy. In this moment, he can’t honestly think of anyone he’d rather be soulmates with. They’re perfect in every way. He couldn’t ask for better.

“Well, soulmate, how about you tell me what’s going on? I’d hate to leave you crying in the dark all alone.”

He shakes his head, still smiling. “So you remember what I told you about Quincy...”

X6: Their face is furious. Anger blazes in their eyes with the heat of a thousand suns, hot enough that X6 suspects he might get burned if he steps any closer. It’s uncomfortable, to say the least. He’s not supposed to be easily intimidated, but in this moment, sole is terrifying.

“Are you going to answer my question, or not?”

He’d very much like to answer their question. In fact, he’d love to tell them that he’s not been hiding anything from them, that he has no doubts about his loyalties, and that everything is functioning perfectly, but the words just won’t come. It doesn’t matter how many times he tries. Nothing. Works.

“X6, I’m starting to get very irritated.”

“It seems to me that you’re beyond irritated already.”

“Then that should be an incentive to tell me if you’ve been hiding something from me, and then lay out exactly what that thing is. Believe me, you will not like-”

“I’m trying,” he snaps, frustrated at himself for being so unable to complete this simple task. “Will you just give me a goddamn second?”

“I don’t know why you’re making this so difficult.”

He grapples with his lie again, attempting to force it from between his lips, but surrenders quickly in exasperation. “Believe me, neither do I.”

They shake their head and scrub a hand over their eyes, seemingly fed up. The look in their eyes is still anger, but a resigned kind, the kind that festers and breaks people apart. “Look. I’m not angry, and as long as it’s not going to hurt anyone, it’s fine. Don’t tell me. Whatever. I honestly don’t care anymore.”

Their scorn strikes a nerve, and X6, who is already at his breaking point with both them and himself, gives in. “Don’t insult me. You know as well as I do that if it were that simple, I would have told you by now. I don’t hide things unless it’s necessary, and I’ve never lied to you. As it turns out, I probably can’t, so you’ll just have to trust me when I say I won’t hide something from you unless it’s important.”

They blink once, eyes wide, seemingly stunned into silence. For the first time in what feels like hours, the air around them is quiet and almost peaceful. There are no angry words, no harsh accusations. They just stare at him as if in shock, and he takes the moment to compose himself again.

“You can’t lie to me?”

“It seems not. Probably because you’re the future Director, and it’s not logical for me to be able to lie to you. I would suppose I can’t lie to Father, either, but I’ve never tried.”

“No, I’ve looked through the data. That’s nowhere in the programming. You should be able to lie to anyone you need to, including me.”

“Well, I can’t. I suppose it’s a malfunction.”

“It could be, but...”

They look him in the eyes, open their mouth as if to speak, then snap it closed. A smirk finds their face, almost triumphant.

“That settles it. You’re not malfunctioning, X6. You just happen to have found your soulmate.”

That stops his train of thought dead in its tracks. While not unfamiliar with the concept of soulmates- he had heard some of the scientists discussing the matter- he had never put much thought to it. After all, as a synth he couldn’t have a soulmate, because he had no soul. At least, that was what he’d been taught, and what he’d believed for his entire life.

“A soulmate? You?”

“Seems that way.” They smile, all the anger now gone from their face. “Come on, let’s sit down by the fire. We should get to know each other a little better.”

Wordlessly, he agrees.

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imagine-lumpygrab · 5 years ago

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Waiting in a hospital

Lemongrab and Reader meet in the hospital. The Reader is here because of mental issues and this random lemon man offers reassurance. This isn’t shippy or romantic, it’s just me wanting assurance because I’m tired and dealing with a lot of stress right now, so here you go.

🍋🍋🍋

You sigh, gripping onto the armrests tightly in an attempt to not freak out any more than you already have. The people passing by in the Candy Kingdom Hospital don’t notice, but you’re shaking.

It’s okay, you try to tell yourself. It’s okay, you need this, you need to be here, you need to sort this mess out.

It doesn’t work in the slightest. Instead, the self-doubt follows the onset of panic, what’s the point, you don’t need this, you’ll be fine on your own, it’s just mild anxiety, everyone cries themselves to sleep once in a while, right?

Shaking your head, you unclench your fists, trying to catch your breath. No, stop. This is exactly why I’m here.

But your inner stupid gremlin voice immediately counters this. Is it? Or am I just an attention seeker? Maybe I don’t really have problems, maybe I’m just desperate for attention. Maybe I faked it so well I convinced myself. Oh Glob, I’m a horrible person–

“Hello,” someone says suddenly and you jump and yelp, abruptly interrupted from your self-loathing.

Turning your head, you find a familiar face with yellow skin and a pointy nose sitting next to you. You try to stand up so you can greet him properly, but your body betrays you, for whatever reason you’re limp, unable to force yourself to stand up. And geez, you’re shaking even more now. Great.

“ᴳᵒᵒᵈ⁻” Your voice is strained and barely a whisper, so you take a few breaths and try again. Wow that’s not good, at this point you’re probably wasting his time. “Good afternoon, Your Highness,” you nod, greeting the Earl of Lemongrab, who, for whatever reason, is sitting right next to you in a hospital. Why would he be here, of all places? If he was injured he’d go to his own hospital, wouldn’t he?

The earl hums in discontent, fantastic, you piece of garbage, you think to yourself, now you’ve become an annoyance to a royal. What a great first step on curing your depression, if that even is your real problem. But the lemon candy man just says: “I mostly call myself Lemongrab nowadays. Actually all days. I was always Lemongrab in the past, and am also Lemongrab in the present. I am him. Mmmmyes.”

“Oh. Well... sorry, Lemongrab,” you apologize, looking anywhere but at him and sliding lower on your chair, like it could swallow you whole if you tried hard enough.

“Are you okay?”

Your eyes widen at the question. It’s full of genuine concern, something you haven’t encountered in... months? Years? Turning to him, you hesitate on what your answer should be. Do you really want to bother someone like him with your troubles? The Princess always seems really dismissive to small issues unless there’s any real danger to anyone, so who’s to say one of her higher-ranked creations is any more interested in your problems than her herself?

“I... I mean I’m here to see the psychologist but I don’t... well, I think I should be– but, no, I... ugh.” You facepalm and curl into yourself, this is really not your day.

For a minute, there’s no response, and you almost think he might’ve left. For what a loud voice he can have, he’s a master at entering and leaving completely unnoticed.

But, no, he’s still there, because after that one minute you hear him speak up: “Sounds like, mmmm... the voices.”

Raising a brow, you slowly uncover your face. “The voices?”

He nods. “One says lots of bad, nnnnmmm... bad things. Says how horrible you are, a failure, a mistake. And another says... mmmmm... says you’re not anything, and it wants you to be nothing, wannnnts you too... cease your existence. And there are sometimes more, saying other things, and sometimes it’s just one of themmm... Do you have these voices?”

You think about it, and yeah, that all sounds sort of familiar, so slowly, you admit to it. “Yup... sounds about right.”

Lemongrab nods again. “Understandable. Psychologist is a good step, they can teach you not to listen, and mmmm when the voices aren’t listened to, they get, mmmmm... bored. They get bored and leave, and you’ll be better off without them.”

Without meaning to, you breath out the air you’ve been subconsciously holding in your lungs. He sounds like he’s speaking from experience, and you realize he probably is. After all, he used to be two people and his creator slash mother isn’t really all that motherly. “Really?” you ask, and there’s a sliver of hope in your voice.

For the third time, the earl nods. You realize you’ve stopped shaking at some point. It feels like you might start crying, and he hadn’t even done all that much. But in your state, you were grateful for the few words meant to comfort you. “Thank you... so much,” you smile a little, and it probably looks pathetic, but it’s a smile and you hadn’t had an earnest smile on your lips for a while now.

There’s a much less strained smile gracing his features and his eyes, too, he seems really happy to have helped at least a little. “How long will you be waiting?”

You shrug, uncertain. “They told me just five minutes, I came in a second before you did.”

“Okay, well, mmmm... I’ll wait with you,” he says determinedly.

“Why?” The word escapes your mouth before you can stop yourself.

He eyes you with a puzzled look. “Why not?”

“Surely there’s a reason you’re here, and I’m nowhere near important, really–“

“Mmmmmmmmm stop.” He raises a hand and you shut up, hoping you didn’t accidentally make him angry. But he doesn’t seem angry. “That’s stupid. Don’t be stupid. Sitting alone in a hospital is stupid, it’s unacceptable. You’re not in a state where you can sit alone, in a hospital of all places.” After a second, he adds: “Also, my, mmmmmm... mmmmy girlfriend broke her arm trying to steal food from a vending machine, and I’m here to take her home. It mmmmmight take a while so I don’t mind waiting.”

Oh, that’s right, Lemongrab and Lumpy Space Princess are dating. In your opinion, them dating is a perfectly chaotic thing to happen, and what‘s even more fascinating is that they actually seem to have a really healthy relationship. At times you couldn’t help but be jealous of such couples. You’d also like to find someone or something that would make you feel... complete. Hopefully the psychologist would offer some help with that.

A nurse calls out your name. Raising your head, you suddenly feel a wave of anxiety washing over you again, paralyzing you, making you want to turn on your heel and sprint right out of the building. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. You really should go do your chores, yeah, those sound really great right about now–

A finger pokes your cheek. “The voices are the most stupid,” the earl of the lemon people stands up and offers you a hand. “What have they done with their lives anyway, hmmmmmmm?“

Giving a light chuckle, you tentatively accept his hand and with surprising ease he pulls you to your feet. How comes he’s this strong but also this lanky? That’s incredibly unfair. Once you’re both sure you can stand and won’t just collapse, he lets go, and the nurse asks you to follow her. Before you do, you turn to Lemongrab one last time and, since you didn’t properly greet him when you first met, you offered a small bow now that you had the chance. “Thank you so much for your words of reassurance, Your Highness. I’m glad at least someone in the royal family has this much empathy.”

He gives a shrug and a sheepish smirk. “My girlfriend helps. Oh, that reminds me,” he adds, “if you don’t feel good talking to the doctor, holding someone’s hand can help. Or something you like, like a doll... mmmmm or something. Yes.”

“Thank you for the advice.” You want to ask about his voices, do they go away for good? Did his go away already? You hope they did, or that they would with time. He really does deserve to be happy.

And, oh, you realize right then and there. Maybe, if he deserves to be happy... then so do you.

#my fanfic #lemongrab #adventure time x reader #mentions of mental issues #adventure time #mentioned lsp #implied lumpygrab #lsp got her arm stuck in a vending machine you can’t change my mind

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space-blue · 4 years ago

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The Mummy

'No, really, I don't believe in the whole mummy curse resurrection thing. Whatever medium they're fit in, these stories break my suspension of disbelief in a hurry. If you look at how it's always plotted out, it never makes any sense!'

'You don't believe in necromancy? Second life, reviving the dead?'

'There isn't any belief to hold on that art. It's almost as clean a science as Newtonian physics. But you can't restore a consciousness perfectly even minutes after death, and you can't invest spirit force in an old body, least of all a mummified one! Embalming involves taking out the viscera, including the brain, and turning the flesh into some form of organic resin. Hardly material for raising the dead! No, the real catch I'm talking about, is who buries the doomed mummy, in all these movies. If they want to keep the thing dead forever, might as well burn it. Same goes if the dead doesn't want to be disturbed. Why actually raise from the dead for vengeance? Isn't that a lot of effort for someone who wanted to be left alone?'

'You're making light of many people's beliefs here. Burning the body means no after life. No good believer would do that to anyone.'

'I'm not criticising mummification! Only the cheap thrills people get out of thinking mummies can come back from the dead and "claim" the world–nothing less!–or choke whoever disturbed them in their sleep. They're dead. Nothing to disturb.'

'What of seal magic? Don't you find it on tombs all the time?'

'Oh, sure. Archaeologists struggled with them at the beginning too! It's hard to protect yourself against old magic when the knowledge behind it disappeared, or is preserved somewhere deeper in the very tomb you're trying to break into. A lot of the ancient sealing techniques were forgotten over the centuries you know, stuff that used to be common, like generational decay, body wasting, insect targeting–all gone, until we could piece the knowledge back together and craft counters. But again, seals were a workman's trade, or a priest's speciality. Little to do with the mummy itself. Rich folks didn't have to learn such magic, and once mummified, they really can't care less.'

'You sound very sure of yourself.'

'Oh, this isn't a savant lecture, just my educated opinion, for what it's worth.'

'Well, you're very kind to indulge me with your opinions despite your misgivings on the legitimacy of my very nature.'

'What, are you going to curse me and send scarabs to eat me inside out?'

'Would that I could!'

'And here I thought we were friendly.'

'We are, we are, I am sincerely grateful for your conversation.'

'The best you've had in four thousand years, I bet.'

'I'm still a bit confused with the dates, but yes, about that.'

'Anyway, don't feed the fools any more ideas of you being a mummy. It'll make my reports look messy.'

'I can't help with all the musty bandages and the fact that I was taken from a stone sarcophagus in a tomb built in my name. You truly aren't afraid that working on me might unleash on you some terrible curse?'

'Didn't we just have that entire conversation? Besides, whatever you are, I'm pretty sure you never died. I know what I'm seeing, and whatever this is, it isn't a curse.'

'I beg to disagree. It is one to me. Everyone around me ends up dying...'

'Yeah, living four thousand years tends to do that to your social circle.'

'I'm being serious.'

'You're being talkative. What's with the sudden chattiness? You left me monologuing all day yesterday. Not that I mind or anything, you're alright to talk to, and you sure can listen, and I have little else to do so long as I'm cataloguing, but I hope you realise they sent me here because you wouldn't talk. No way Earl Pence and Fitzwilliam Gerald would let anyone else touch their precious mummy if you hadn't made their life so miserable.'

'These men's grammar was poor and their accent intolerable. Their questions from ignorant to rude. I don't waste time on the rude.'

'Give them a break, your native language is long dead.'

'No one tried to speak Kore before you.'

'No one but initiates speak Kore, and we aim to keep it that way, so don't flaunter yours around. Line powering isn't a mild science like necromancy. The least people know the trade, the better off this world is.'

'What trade is that?'

'The same as yours, I suspect? Unless you're not the one who decided to tattoo your entire body in lines of power designed to engineer perfect, looped regeneration?'

'Is that what you will say in your report?'

'What concern of yours is it? Aren't you The Mummy? Precious property of the Egyptology Society come back to life? Ward of an Earl and a millionaire? Whatever I say in my report, these two won't consider you any less precious for it.'

'Well. I wasn't expecting anyone to understand the nature of my curse this easily. I wasn't expecting much of anything at all, really. I was rather hoping for eternal slumber. This is inconvenient.'

'What.'

'What?'

'What are you sounding all cold footed about? You think I'll actually tell those two lunatics about the true meaning of your tattoos? And spill half of my guild's most precious secrets? Hah!'

'So what are your plans here exactly?'

'Well, first off the Egyptology society paid decent money for my expertise. Then I hoped to discover new, historical tattoos. Add to our repertoire, something to experiment on. I wasn't expecting the key to immortality though–hold on, this might hurt.'

'It's fine. You seem to know what you're doing.'

'I do, but they don't. And it has to stay that way, you feel me? All they want to know is how you came back from the dead, and how your flesh is regrowing over time. They want transcripts of your tattoos, and analysis of their potential meaning. They guess at what it is, but modern power lines look very different. They're thinking about Necromantic related stuff, because they're ignorant.'

'The tattoos are useless without the Kore words to say as you line them.'

'Aha! You are knowledgeable! I knew it. I'd love to talk shop with you. I bet you'd be interested to know how much progress we've covered in four thousand years too.'

'Yes, I am curious. Any other plans for the immediate future?'

'Okay, don't move, this one is the last I need a picture of–right–thank you for your cooperation so far. Now, how about proper introductions?'

'Indeed. Ameon Decarenon, "the ageless", former Korenian Master of the Sun Temple. An honour.'

'Asmilya Nassandi, Korenian Master of the ages-old Korenian Guild, founded over a thousand years ago, while you napped. The honour is all mine, elder.'

'I believe we could learn much from each other.'

'Yes. And so I propose to break you out of this room and bring you back to the guild to discuss as equals, catch you up on history and all the exciting stuff you've missed on.'

'And how do you propose to kidnap me from my rude owners?'

'Can you walk yet?'

'All my joints are stiff, but with help I should manage.'

'Excellent. I assume as well that this empty space on your chest is to draw temporary lines?'

'Indeed.'

'Perfect! The plan goes like this: if I cut a bit of myself like so–please move aside so I can draw there–Ahm Pta Ehum Kish Ossun Ra.'

'You make it grow.'

'Yes. See how the lines have become simpler and smoother? More into the subtle inflection, the width of the line? This slant there makes the growth rate tremendous.'

'I can see that! How big is this blob of flesh going to get?'

'As big as me.'

'Mmh... And then you will use Akto Essum...'

'Akto Min Essum, rather, with a rippled line, so it'll be mostly spray and not enough gore for them to notice the lack of bones or organs. Then... I guess I don't need to teach you how to break a few walls? Invisibility lined on your chest and off we go.'

'You don't mind "dying" in this process?'

'Well, they hired "apprentice Indra", and I don't mind her dying.'

'So... The evil mummy kills the poor guild apprentice and runs away, leaving no paper report to reveal its secrets? Presumably to avenge itself on the world?'

'Yeah I'm telling you, it's a terrible plot, but people dig this stupid shit. Hope you can grow a beard?'

'Four thousand years and you still haven't come up with a power-line to help with that?'

'Please tell me that's not what you buried yourself for!'

'Hah! No. Maybe I was waiting for more exciting times...'

'Yes, well, with our very first evil mummy loose on the world, times are about to get very exciting!'

~~ February 2018 – Theme : Write a story in a subgenre you normally don't like!

#original work #original story #competition #fantasy

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imagitory · 6 years ago

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Review: The Lion King (2019) [spoilers]

NAAAAAANTS IGONYAMA BAGITI BABA -- !

Ahem. So...I just got back from seeing the new Lion King remake, and I guess it’s time to talk about it. For those of you who wish to avoid spoilers... *exhales heavily* how do I say this kindly, um -- you don’t need to go see this. Like, really, you don’t. Not to rain on anyone’s parade, but you would miss absolutely nothing watching the original instead of this one, and honestly, I think it’s fair to say you’ll have much more fun watching the original too. As much as I haven’t loved Disney’s line of recent remakes, I at least found something in most of the films I saw that I could praise, but with this one? I don’t recall ever being so utterly bored sitting in a movie theater in my life.

If you would like a more detailed opinion, here’s a cut!

The Good!

+For once, Disney decided to hire a cast full of singers that don’t require autotune, including Donald Glover, Billy Eichner, and of course Beyonce, as well as quite a few lovely people in the chorus like Brown Lidiwe Mkhize (who sang The Circle of Life). Even some of the performers with weaker singing voices like John Oliver were able to hold their own well enough.

+The voice acting overall wasn’t bad. I’ll have to leave it at that, though, since this is supposed to be the positive section.

+The Circle of Life and Can You Feel the Love Tonight? were well-performed, though I will be getting to other issues I had with them later.

+Zazu was actually given a bit more pathos rather than just exclusively being comic relief. He not only tries to protect Nala and Simba from the hyenas, but he also rushes to go get the lionesses when Simba’s in trouble, makes a distraction for Nala so she doesn’t get caught by Scar, and even helps a little more in the final battle. I won’t act like he was an improvement on the orginal exactly, as the best compromise would’ve been to have him be both funny and supportive, but at least there was an attempt to give him some depth.

+As much as I’ll critique the animation further down, I will give the animators credit for its realism. A lot of hard work was obviously put in, and it shows.

The Not-So-Good...

+The number one problem with this movie is, as I feared, the animation. I can respect that this is my opinion and many others might find some charm in how “real” everything looks, but I’m sorry -- musicals =/= realistic . Musicals are supposed to be over-the-top. They are supposed to be theatrical. Hell, even the Broadway production of The Lion King understood that to tell this story without animated lions, you had to treat it like a folktale. The story was never about lions -- it was a human story told with lions. The ideas of family -- responsibility -- duty -- leadership -- grief -- hope -- these are human values. The Lion King was inspired by Shakespeare’s Hamlet. It also has ripples of the Moses story, given that it revolves around someone running away from their home and responsibility, only to realize their true calling and go back to save their people. And you know something? I am positive that the filmmakers knew full well how ridiculous these National-Geographic-esque animated creatures would look suddenly bursting into song -- that’s why they tried at every single opportunity to depict the musical sequences in wide, impersonal shots that barely correspond to the rhythm or mood of the song at all. Unless it’s The Circle of Life, which is literally a shot-for-shot recreation of the original sequence accompanied by a song sung by none of the characters on screen, the only way that these supposedly “realistic” creatures could communicate energy or emotion during the song sequences was by running and climbing things. And in the end, it just looks lazy and dull. There’s no energy in either the shots or the editing. Hakuna Matata and I Just Can’t Wait to Be King suffer the most because of this, as those songs were so dependent on bright colors, spontaneity, and enthusiasm, but none of the songs are done justice with this animation.

+Another issue with the animation is in the characters themselves. As realistic as it looks in the textures of the fur and the way the animals move, it is utterly lifeless in practice. I swear to God, there are points where these animals looked stuffed, they’re so blank and hollow. You know those live action movies, like Cats and Dogs, where they would have real dogs and cats play the characters and then just “fix” their mouths with post-production CGI to make it look like they’re talking, even if their eyes and faces still end up looking so blank that it never looks like they’re saying what’s coming out of their mouths? THAT’S THE ENTIRE MOVIE. It didn’t matter how good the voice acting was, because it was invalidated by the lack of expression of the characters who were supposedly saying the lines. The only character in this movie who seemed to have any emotion in his eyes was Scar, and that was because his animated model was apparently given permission to narrow his eyes more, presumably to look more “eeeeeviiiiiiil~.” Even the hyenas were just given hollow black eyes that only ever looked alien and inhuman most of the time (clearly to remind you that they’re the bad guys) -- there were no emotions other than “mwehehehe we’re gonna eat you” on their faces the entire movie. But yeah, think of all the really emotional scenes in this movie. Think of Mufasa seeing Simba hanging on that tree -- the fear in his face as Simba almost loses his grip on the branch -- the pain and fear in Simba’s expression when Mufasa puts him up on a small ledge, only to get yanked backward by the wildebeest and disappear from view -- the struggle in Mufasa’s body language as he tries to climb up the edge of the gorge -- the betrayal and horror in Mufasa’s expression when Scar reveals his true colors -- the desperation, disbelief, horror, and grief in Simba’s face when he finds his father and screams at the open air for help. ...Yeah. Now imagine all of those scenes being acted out by EMOTIONLESS PUPPETS. That’s even what Mufasa looks like when he’s thrown backwards off the cliff -- a puppet. A scene that has left people in tears almost made me snort with laughter because of how bad it looked!

+The animation’s realism also, as others pointed out when the trailers first came out, made it very difficult to pick out individual characters. When Nala grew up, there wasn’t even a way to tell that she was the youngest of the lionesses -- they all looked like clones of each other. There’s a bit where one of the hyenas (I guess he’s supposed to be Banzai, but I guess he’s been renamed something else?) confuses Scar for Mufasa at a distance and I almost burst out laughing because it was like the movie characters themselves even realized how identical all of the lions look. Simba’s face “turning into Mufasa’s” in the water had no emotional impact at all because you could barely tell that anything had just happened.

+Geezus, and I thought that Beauty and the Beast took too many ideas from the original? Oh boy. This movie took so much from the original, it was like the filmmakers copied something they found on the Internet for a school assignment and then added and switched around a couple of lines just so they wouldn’t be accused of plagiarism. There were quite a few points while watching this where I was going, “Oooookay, and this is where Simba sees a lizard. ...Yup, there it is. He’s gonna try to roar twice. ...Yup, and...yup. And on the third try, he’s going to roar loud enough for it to echo, and we’ll cut to the top of the gorge. ...Called it. And wildebeest in three, two, one...” Now, of course, knowing what’s going to happen shouldn’t reduce suspense -- if anything, when something suspenseful is done well, it doesn’t matter if you know what happens, because now you’re excited to see those things happen. But in this? How could I be excited when they recycled almost every joke, almost every shot, almost every scene, only with half the energy and sincerity? Even Beauty and the Beast tried to throw in some twists now and again, even if I didn’t end up liking most of them...the only things I can think of in regards to “changes” were some extra scenes that didn’t add much of anything, such as Scar leaning even more into his “Claudius” role and trying to court Simba’s mother Sarabi. Oh, and on that note...

+...The original movie was about an hour and a half long. This one was two hours. You want to know how they stretched that run-time out? Largely by adding in extended nature sequences. Perhaps if you really like the “realistic” animation, you might enjoy the gratuity of it, but some of them just got ridiculous. Remember how in the original, Scar caught a mouse and kind of taunted it? Now we get almost a whole minute just watching the mouse running around and doing nothing before Scar even shows up. Remember how we got a short, smooth transition from Pride Rock to Rafiki’s tree with a rainfall and soothing music? Have one that’s twice as long and is devoid of any of the epic, solemn atmosphere. Remember how we got a cute little giggle when Timon and Pumbaa sang The Lion Sleeps Tonight, only for it to get interrupted by Nala’s arrival? Now that song is treated like a full musical number with lots of danc -- sorry, walking around aimlessly, because it’d be stupid if animals actually danced or something. Remember how Simba collapses into some leaves, which sets loose some dust which in a ten-second-long cut scene is blown through the wind into Rafiki’s hand? Now it lasts almost two whole minutes and involves a tuft of Simba’s fur landing in a river, being picked up by a bird, becoming stuffing in a nest, being tossed out of the nest, being accidentally eaten by a giraffe, being shat out by that giraffe, being picked up by a dung beetle -- OH, COME ON. NOW YOU’RE JUST SEARCHING FOR EXCUSES TO DRAG THIS MOVIE OUT.

+I love James Earl Jones, but he should not have reprised his role as Mufasa. I’m sorry, but the man is 88 years old now, and he just sounded so tired. He didn’t show even half of the energy and enthusiasm he had playing the part the first time. If he was Simba’s grandfather, that’d be one thing, but he’s not. Half of what makes Mufasa’s death so tragic is how alive and young he seemed and how close his bond was with his friends Rafiki and Zazu and his family Simba and Sarabi, but thanks to Jones’s low-key performance and the lack of emotion in Mufasa’s animation, all of that is lost.

+Just like with Jafar in the recent Aladdin remake, this movie tries to give Scar some depth, but the halfhearted attempt only serves to take away what made Scar a great villain in the first place -- namely, his dry wit, ruthlessness, talent for manipulation, dynamic attitude, arrogance, immaturity, and most of all passion. Combine this not-deliciously-evil-but-definitely-not-sympathetic characterization with such bland animation that neither conveys energy or intrigue, and we’re once again left with a very forgettable, uninteresting villain. Come on, Disney, you used to be so good at writing villains -- just because you’re trying to make a more “realistic” story doesn’t mean your villain can’t crack a smile every-so-often, geezus!

+If Sarabi was chasing off hyenas with the lionesses, how in the world did she and the lionesses get back to Pride Rock fast enough for them to be lounging around when Simba came to get Nala? Scar and Simba’s interaction isn’t nearly long enough to encompass Sarabi finishing up with the hyenas and returning home. This is a problem that comes from how much this remake copies from the original -- because it wants so many scenes to play out identically to the original, it gives any subtle line changes the writers do make the potential to create plot holes.

+Oh yeah, and the joke of Simba pouncing on Zazu really doesn’t work if we see Simba getting ready the entire time and Zazu makes it easy for Simba by spinning around in circles looking at nothing. One would think Zazu was trying to let Simba pounce on him.

+There’s no kind way to put this -- Timon and Pumbaa were just flat-out INSUFFERABLE in this. Not only were their deliveries of lines from the original movie pretty awful, but they also added in a bunch of new, often fourth-wall-breaking jokes that just made me hide my face in my hands and groan. In Hakuna Matata in particular, they act offended by Simba not being more excited when they first say the phrase, ruin the joke of Pumbaa farting by having him say it and Pumbaa then being upset that Timon didn’t interrupt him, AND give Simba a hard time for continuing the song until it fades out by saying that Simba’s “gained 400 pounds” since they started it! This isn’t even touching on how TERRIBLE Seth Rogen was as Pumbaa while singing -- like, I know that’s supposed to be part of the joke, but Ernie Sabella was “a bad singer” by being over-the-top, not by being off-pitch and painful to listen to! Not to mention that Sabella packed so much more characterization into his line deliveries -- the chasm of quality between Sabella and Rogen’s performances all the more highlighted to me the difference between an actor and a voice actor. You can’t just get away with speaking your lines in an ordinary voice when you’re voice acting -- you need to emote solely with your voice, as your face is not doing any of the work, and with animation this emotionless and bland, one really needed to have given 120% in their voice work for it to be even passable. (And honestly, none of the actors stood out well performance-wise...not that they should have to singlehandedly bear the burden of depicting their characters’ emotions just with their voices: this is an animated movie, not a radio drama!) As if breaking the fourth wall for no reason, telling bad jokes, and singing poorly wasn’t enough, Timon and Pumbaa also come across as infinitely more selfish and mean-spirited. They say they’re outcasts, and yet there’s a whole friggin’ community of animals in their jungle home. Simba actually hears Timon and Pumbaa selfishly decide to “keep him” because having a creature bigger than them around might help them out. Timon flat-out tells Simba to only look after himself and no one else. Whereas in the original film, Timon and Pumbaa almost raise Simba like adopted parents, having fun with him and genuinely showing concern for him -- here, Timon and Pumbaa act more like a pair of frat boys who adopted the “new kid” in college and induct him into their friend circle, even though, yeah, Simba first meets them as a cub and they’re already adults. Rather than just laugh at the thought of “royal dead guys watching them” for a quick moment, they openly roar with laughter at Simba, dragging it out even when it’s very clear Simba is hurt by their amusement and not even bothering to apologize. At least in the original, Simba acted like it was funny and then left abruptly, but here? Simba never laughed or showed any amusement, so it came across as Timon and Pumbaa bullying him. Oh yeah, and speaking of bullying, remember how there was that one-off pop culture reference where Pumbaa gets mad at being called a pig? Now that’s been replaced with Pumbaa saying he doesn’t like bullies -- seems like that would’ve been a lovely thing to set up earlier, maybe to give that line some emotional pay-off, but nope! There’s no joke AND there’s no point. But you want to know what made me hate these two beyond reason in this movie? You want to know what finally pushed me over the edge? They broke the fourth wall beyond repair by -- rather than randomly putting on a hula skirt and dancing goofily, because of course we’re a SERIOUS animated movie, one that’s so REAL -- singing Be Our Guest from Beauty and the Beast, French accent and all. ...Excuse me for a minute. *buries her face into a pillow and screams in rage*

+By the way, those other animals who live in the jungle Timon and Pumbaa are from and therefore invalidate their assertion of being “outcasts”? Completely pointless. They don’t even come with Timon and Pumbaa and fight for the Pridelands! You could have cut them completely and lost nothing.

+As much as Hakuna Matata was the most irritating of the numbers, I Just Can’t Wait to Be King and especially Be Prepared were just pathetic. I Just Can’t Wait to Be King largely suffered, again, due to the “realism” of the animation, but the slow editing and even the vocals slowed the whole sequence down and sucked out any energy or excitement from the piece. I’ll give credit to Nala and Simba’s voice actors for their vocal quality, but there was still none of the spontaneity and recklessness in their voices that the song requires, so it just came across as Disney karaoke, rather than anything professional. But Be Prepared was easily the worst of the lot. It would be a challenge to try to evoke the level of dread and demented thrill you get from the original song sequence, but here, the filmmakers didn’t even try. Not only do we only get part of the song, but Scar’s voice actor Chitwetel Ejiofor barely sings a word of it and brings none of the dynamic, power-hungry, conniving, almost hypnotic mania that’s supposed to define Scar in that moment. He’s mostly just shouting like an old man yelling at a kid to get off his lawn -- there’s no attempt at persuasion or temptation in his voice at all. And just like in most of the other musical numbers, the only way Scar’s character model can emote during his song is to climb on things. Even in songs that were performed well, there were notable problems. The Circle of Life was basically animated on autopilot, replicating every single shot without taking any time to show any genuine emotion anywhere, whether when Zazu and Rafiki greeted Mufasa or when Simba sneezed away the dust in his face...and Can You Feel the Love Tonight? Haha, yeah, right -- more like “Can You Feel the Love in the Mid-Afternoon”! It was absolutely comical, hearing them sing “tonight” when the entire sequence was done in daylight!

+I’ve always liked The Lion King, but...wow, after seeing this remake and how much they tried to lean into the “hyenas as outsiders” idea in this, I have to acknowledge that there are some uncomfortable elements to this story. In the original, we solely focus on Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed with other hyenas in the background, so them being outside the Pridelands could just be seen as the case of a few bad apples, rather than it being an indictment on an entire group. But here, in this version, Shenzi is depicted more seriously as the leader of all the hyenas and it’s established that the war between lions and hyenas has gone on for a long time. Basically this movie turns Shenzi into Zira from The Lion King 2...and yeah, that makes it so that the hyenas -- as the outsiders -- should theoretically be slightly sympathetic, right? You know, to show that it’s wrong to cast others out because they look or act different from you? Nope! Nope, they’re all just evil! They’re manifestations of greed and hunger with no potential for redemption whatsoever. They’re not like our good, pale-colored lionesses who all look the same -- they’re dirty, and conniving, and they seek to creep out of the shadows and leech on everything the lions hold dear. I could very, very easily see how some vile, disgusting people could embrace such a narrative in this current climate, seeing themselves in the lions trying to “take their land back” from the shadowy, evil hoard of creatures who have come from outside to tear down their way of life. I can’t act like this adaptation added something that wasn’t at all in the original movie, as, let’s be honest, it plagiarized most of it...but perhaps because of how they reused this story and in some cases leaned into some elements of that story, this remake has very, very bad timing in when it was released. Those elements of the story probably wouldn’t have been read into it back in the 90′s, given the relative stability of the political landscape, but now? Now I could see how people could read it that way. It’d be like trying to make a movie like Independence Day, where national monuments get blown up, right after 9/11.

Looking back on what I just saw, I’m still absolutely stunned. Never before have I felt like my time has been more wasted than when I decided to sit down and watch this movie. I’ve tried to find shreds of praise, but whenever I try, it feels like I’m grasping at straws, only to fall back into a big pool of “blah.” I have never been so bored by a movie in my life -- and if there’s anything Disney, and especially Disney musicals, should never be, it’s boring. I would still say Maleficent makes me the most angry of Disney’s recent remakes, considering that that one openly insulted the original it was based off and this one is just clearly so up the original’s ass that it’s obnoxious...but this one was easily the biggest disappointment. I went in with almost no expectations, and yet still came out disappointed in the result. That, I think, says a lot. I could see someone who simply wants to see some cute animals and ride a bit on the nostalgia train enjoying this...but forgive me, but that bar is way too low. Disney is capable of doing so much better -- the true Lion King, the 1994 classic that broke records and surpassed all audience expectation, is more than enough evidence of that.

Overall Grade: D-

#the lion king (2019)#the lion king #disney #the lion king spoilers #opinion #oh boy here i go #reviews #disney remakes #remakes

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peaceisadirtyword · 6 years ago

Text

Broken promises II (Ubbe/Reader)

A/N: Hello! I hope you're all having an amazing day! Although this is probably going to ruin it (no, I’m joking, I really hope this doesn’t ruin anyone’s day I’m sorry). So here’s the second part of Broken Promises! And it’s even worse than the first one, I think, so sorry about that. I have to say that I wrote this at like 5 am because I couldn’t sleep, so, yeah, that should explain a lot. Well, thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy it and please don’t hate me💕.

Warnings: angst, smut (don’t read this if you're under 18 please), Ubbe, this hurts so much, the ending fucked me up, it’s not my best work, sorry.

Words: 3216 ffs

Read part one here

gif isn’t mine but it actually broke my heart my poor baby

You left Kattegat.

After Ubbe rejected you, everything went even worse.

Your father fell sick, weakening more and more everyday until a fever took him in the middle of the night. At least, and even if you mourned him, he died peacefully and without any more suffering.

He had been a merchant, one of the best in Kattegat, and after his death you took his place, but nothing was the same. You were alone, Ubbe didn't talk to you anymore, Hvitserk sometimes visited you and tried to keep contact, but it wasn't the same. Ivar at least stopped messing with you, and let you alone for a bit, but you even missed his sarcastic remarks. Sigurd never talked to you again, acting as if your conversation on that barn had never happened.

So one day you decided to leave, to go somewhere where you could start again, without your past torturing you.

You moved to another town, far away from Kattegat and from your memories, and started a new life.

Luckily, you were able to sustain your father's business, and continued with the trades around all Scandinavia. And, at the same time, you became a fierce shieldmaiden and fought some battles.

You even found a man. Erik was tall, with blonde hair and green eyes, he was a warrior, and loved to fight and raid, but he was the sweetest.

At first, you doubted of him, you were still insecure after what happened with Ubbe, but he fell in love with you the first time he saw you, and showed it every day.

You heard about Ragnar's death, about how his sons gathered the biggest army in history and went to England to avenge him. You heard about Björn's travels to the Mediterranean and Ivar's rise, and about Aslaug's death, killed by Lagertha.

You knew Ivar wouldn't let Lagertha live much longer after she murdered his mother, but you never thought it would come to that.

Lagertha asked the Earl who ruled your town for help against Ivar's forces, and he agreed, summoning Erik, you and some other fierce warriors to go and fight for Lagertha.

You didn't agree with that, but didn't say anything, you swore loyalty to your Earl and would always fight by his side.

When you returned to Kattegat, three years after leaving with a broken heart, everything was exactly the same. The city had grown larger and there was more people living there, but you could recognize some of the merchants and fishers that lived close to you.

And, of course, you recognized Ubbe.

He hadn't change at all, maybe he was a little bit taller, stronger and his hair was longer, but he had that same beautiful face and big eyes you fell in love with years ago.

Your heart sank when you saw his wife. Of course you knew he had gotten married, but the fact that he married Margrethe hurt you, even if you tried to convince yourself that you didn't feel anything for him.

Lagertha welcomed you at the Great Hall, thanking you for your help and informing you about Ivar's forces and advantages, but, honestly, you didn't hear a word, you were too busy looking at Ubbe.

"It's him, isn't it?"

Erik's words startled you. He had been sat by your side, and noticed the way you looked at the Ragnarsson.

"Yes" you couldn't lie to him "He's Ubbe"

Erik knew the story, you had told him years ago. In his opinion, Ubbe was stupid for choosing someone else over you, but he often joked saying he was grateful to him for being too busy fucking a slave to notice your love for him and for making you ran away, to him.

"He was looking at you earlier"

You frowned, you hadn't noticed that, and a part of you hoped he wouldn't see you so you wouldn't have to talk to him.

"When we arrived" Erik took another sip of mead and licked his lips, not looking at you "He looked at you, he seemed surprised"

"He must be, I left this place years ago without telling anyone" you shrugged.

"Are you going to talk to him?" Erik looked at you. His beautiful green eyes fixed on yours "I won't get mad, I promise, I understand he was important to you"

"Maybe I will" you shook your head "Don't worry about that"

He kissed you, lovingly and passionate, and when he broke the kiss, he gave you the most beautiful smile, and you couldn't help but smile back to him.

Lagertha throw a feast that night, to thank everyone that had came to help her against Ivar, but you weren't in the mood for a feast.

Kattegat had always been your home, and to go back there and face all your memories was too much to handle, at least for you and in that moment.

You went to the beach, your favorite part of Kattegat. In the night, it was peaceful and relaxing, just what you needed at that moment.

"I didn't think I would ever see you again"

You froze, recognizing that voice. Of course he would follow you so you could talk alone. It was Ubbe's style.

"Neither did I" you answered, not looking at him. Your fingers sank into the cold sand, playing with it.

Ubbe sat down next to you, looking at the dark waters and sighing.

"You left without saying anything"

"You didn't talk to me, what was I supposed to do? Throw a feast as a goodbye? My father died and I had nothing left here, so I moved on"

"I'm sorry about your father" he said, finally turning around to look at you "He was a good person, didn't deserve to die that soon"

"Thanks" you bit your lip, smiling when you remembered how much your father liked Ubbe. He said that he was different from his brothers "He liked you, you know, you were the only man I knew that he actually liked"

Ubbe smiled too, a sad smile that made your stomach turn.

"I'm sorry about your father, too" you said "And your mother, she didn't deserved to be murdered in cold blood".

"She didn't, and neither did my father" he agreed, looking away from you.

"You avenged him, I heard about it, the Great Heathen Army" you frowned "Why didn't you avenge your mother too?"

Ubbe sighed, shaking his head.

"It's complicated"

"No, it's not, Ivar wants to kill her for murdering your mother, and that's why she needs an army, you could be on Ivar's side but you're not, why?"

Ubbe's face contorted in rage, and for a moment you wondered if you had said something wrong.

"Ivar killed Sigurd" he said, his deep voice broken and emotional "My little brother killed my other little brother, what am I supposed to do? Side with my brother's murderer?"

You widened your eyes, speechless.

It was true that you hadn't heard anything about Sigurd, but you couldn't imagine Ivar would kill him...

Well, actually, you could. Everyone could.

"I didn't know that" you bit your lip "I'm sorry"

"Don't be" Ubbe was still annoyed by something, but, honestly, you couldn't care less, it was his turn for being annoyed at someone else.

"But you are siding with your mother's murderer" you added, still a bit bothered by the fact he wouldn't avenge his mother.

Aslaug was very nice to you while growing up. She always took care of you while your father was out and she made sure you always had what you needed. She didn't deserve that death, and as much as you admired Lagertha, you couldn't just be fine with it.

Ubbe clenched his jaw.

"Well, now you're fighting for her too"

"I'm not fighting for her, I'm fighting for Earl Gormsson" you replied "I owe him a lot, and I will follow him to every single battle until any of us reaches Valhalla".

Ubbe seemed surprised, and blinked a few times before answering.

"Well, Earl Gormsson will fight for Lagertha"

You rolled your eyes, you nearly forgot about his stubbornness.

"Whatever, Ubbe, I don't agree with that"

He didn't say anything for a while, just stared at the sea.

"I saw you with him"

You turned your head to look at him, confused.

"With who? Erik?"

He shrugged.

"I saw you kissing him"

"Yes, we are... Together" you raised a brow "I heard you got married, with Margrethe, amazing" you put on a fake smile.

"Yes" he sighed, laying down on the sand and putting his arm under his head to support it "I married her"

"I see" your heart sank, and you had to bit your lip to avoid saying something you would surely regret later "So, you truly loved her, didn't you?"

It's good to know that you didn't stop speaking to me for nothing, then, you thought.

"I thought I did" he closed his eyes, still laying down on the sand "Now I'm not so sure".

You furrowed your brows, you definitely didn't want to hear the drama behind his marriage.

"Why did you come back, Y/N? And don't tell me it's because you're loyal to that Earl, we both know you wouldn't have come if you didn't have a reason" he opened his eyes, sitting up and looking at you intensely.

"I have a reason" you admitted, bitterly "But I'm not going to tell you"

"Before you left Kattegat, right in this place, you kissed me" he got closer to you, and even if you wanted to get away from him, you just couldn't "And I got scared, you were my best friend"

"I remember that, thank you" you glared at him. You didn't need him to remind you about that time when you fucked everything up.

"But then you left, and I realized how important you were for me, Y/N..." He ignored you, talking sweetly and looking at you straight in the eyes "I missed you so much"

"I wasn't that important to you if you decided you preferred to fuck a slave before spending time with me"

"I was a fool" he shook his head "I was stupid, I should have realized before how much I loved you"

You were speechless. At first, you thought he was talking about your friendship, about how much he missed it. But you received a love confession instead. A love confession you had been waiting for years.

"Ubbe..."

"No, listen to me" he was serious, his voice didn't have that playful tone he used with you "I made a mistake, I shouldn't have hurt you that way, you didn't deserve it, I shouldn't have been fucking Margrethe while you waited for me"

"Stop saying that" you were nervous, and your voice shook a bit "You are married to Margrethe, don't say those things, and stop regretting what you didn't do years ago, Ubbe, that won't take you anywhere"

"I love you, Y/N, I love you and I miss you"

"You have to be joking" your eyes full of tears "You can't love me, Ubbe, not now" you raised your voice, angry at him for telling this way too late and angry at yourself because of the way his words made your heart flutter.

"Y/N, please" suddenly, his face was so close to yours, and you couldn't help but look at him on the eyes, those beautiful, sea-colored eyes you loved so much "Just let me show you"

You gulped, tears now falling down your cheeks. His thumb wiped them away, caressing your face with tenderness, and making you lean onto him instinctively.

"I can't do that to Erik" you whispered, you heart aching for the sweet, blonde viking that waited for you at the Great Hall, who had loved you when you thought no one would.

"Please, Y/N" he muttered, hugging you, his lips hovering over yours.

You closed your eyes. And then felt his lips pressed down to yours.

You had lost count of how many nights you spent awake, looking at the ceiling with tears in your eyes and imagining what would it feel like being kissed by Ubbe, with passion and tenderness. You longed day and night for that type of intimacy with the prince, and finally, when you kissed him -this time was a real kiss- you could only think about how you could never, not even in your best dreams, have imagined how good it actually felt.

Ubbe's right arm sneaked around your waist, holding you close to him, and his left hand traveled to your neck, caressing it and deepening the kiss. When he finally let you go, your lungs ached for air, and you looked at him, panting and looking at him, speechless.

Ubbe's eyes scanned your face, then he smiled and caressed your hair before leaning in and giving you another breathtaking kiss.

You couldn't help but moan softly, and he bit your lower lip, making you shiver. His lips left yours to travel down your jawline to your neck, placing wet, open-mouthed kisses. His beard tickled you and made you smile, you put your hands on his shoulders and tilted your head back.

Ubbe pushed you down, until you were lying down on your back, with him hovering over you.

"Fuck, Y/N, you're so beautiful" he purred into your ear "I missed you so much" you bit your lip, arching your body against his, making him growl and look at you, his eyes dark with lust "Open your eyes, love, look at me" he pressed his forehead to yours while you obeyed him and opened your eyes "Gods, I love you".

You kissed him, urgently. His tongue massaged yours and you trembled under him.

His hand started massaging your breast, and your legs tightened around his waist. Soon, and without breaking the kiss, you started to fumble around with his clothes, and almost rip his shirt apart.

Ubbe smiled into the kiss and broke it, moving away from you for a few seconds so he'd be able to take his clothes off... And yours.

The cold made you shiver, but Ubbe's warm body soon covered yours, his lips and tongue exploring your naked chest, while his fingers played with your hard nipples.

One of his hands traveled down your stomach, caressing your skin with his fingertips. You gasped when his cold fingers touched your inner thighs, and closed your eyes, holding back a moan when his lips attached to your neck and his fingers pressed down into your clit.

"Let me hear you" he breathed against your neck, and you moaned louder. His fingers entered you slowly, and you bit his earlobe, sighing at the feel of his cold fingers stretching you.

Ubbe grunted, picking up the pace of his fingers and using his thumb to rub your clit, using his other hand to support himself up and watch you come undone.

A familiar warmth travelled down your lower belly, and when it exploded between your legs, you cried out, holding Ubbe's wrist and raising your hips, desperate for more friction.

He removed his fingers, smirking when you whined in protest, and accommodated between your legs, his hard cock pressing against your thigh.

Ubbe kissed you deeply, and you kissed him back, your hand caressing his hair and bringing him even closer to you.

You felt the head of his cock press down your entrance and moved your hips to encourage him.

"Fuck me" you begged, biting his lip. Ubbe growled, thrusting into you.

You moaned, breaking the kiss and closed your eyes. He stayed still for a moment, letting you adjust to his size until you raised your hips, and then started thrusting into you. Gods, he was bigger than you ever imagined, and he stretched your walls so good...

You were a moaning mess, squirming and begging under him to fuck you harder, which he did, enjoying how your body reacted to him, and happy to know you wanted him as much as he wanted you. His hand reached your clit again, massaging it with his wet fingertips and making you scream something that sounded more or less like his name.

Soon, your legs started shaking, and your body arched as you moaned Ubbe's name loud, a wave of intense pleasure almost drowning you. Your walls clenched around Ubbe's cock, and he moaned your name, feeling his own release approaching.

Ubbe came right after you, when you were still feeling dizzy and numb. He stayed still after it, buried into you satisfied and with his forehead pressed against yours. Only the gods know how many times he dreamed about that moment.

When he finally rolled off you, laying on his back beside you, you realized what you had done.

You betrayed Erik, your kind and sweet Erik. You fucked Ubbe just because you were too weak to resist him... And because you were still in love with him.

And he was married. Your heart sank when you thought about Margrethe, you didn't like her, but you didn't wanted to destroy her marriage, she didn't deserve that.

With your eyes full of tears, you got up and looked for your clothes. Ubbe didn't say anything while you got dressed, your heart pounding faster and faster against your chest.

He only put on his trousers, and then stood up, facing you with his arms crossed.

"You don't regret it, do you?" He asked, almost afraid of your answer.

"No" you admitted "But this can't happen again, Ubbe"

He looked away from you, holding back the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes.

"Why?"

"Because you're married, and I'm with someone and..." You sobbed "You had your chance, years ago, and you told me you didn't feel the same"

"I didn't know it" he replied, his jaw clenching "I do now, and I can divorce Margrethe if that's the problem..."

"No, you can't just divorce her, and I can't leave Erik just because you decided you love me, he does not deserve that, he wasn't a replacement, Ubbe, I love him"

Your words hurt him just like they hurt you.

"What do I have to do, Y/N? What do I have to do for you to come to me?"

"Nothing, Ubbe" you shook your head, softening your tone "You don't have to do anything, just go home and live your life, just like you were doing before I came back" you bit your lip "I'm sorry, Ubbe, years ago it was only you and I, but now there's more people involved, and I couldn't forgive myself if I hurt Erik the way you hurt me".

You turned around and started walking away from him.

"Would this be different if I had tried to find you?" Ubbe asked, his voice broken "Should I have gone after you?"

You stopped walking, and wiped your tears away before turning around and facing him again.

"Maybe" you answered, a sad smile appearing on your lips, a part of you had always wished he would try and find you "But now it's too late, I'm sorry" his eyes stared into you, and you allowed yourself to drown into them for the last time, before moving on "Good night, Ubbe".

Tags: @mblaqgi @alicedopey @cbouvier23 @lol-haha-joke @hallowed-heathen @ivarslittlebadgirl @naaladareia @tephi101 @captstefanbrandt @love-hate-love @titty-teetee @lightningwitcher @angelofmusic12 @thisisparadisemylove @readsalot73

I hoped I tagged everyone! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you liked it. Don’t hate me for the ending, I’m sorry it hurt me more than you I swear. I hope it wasn’t too cheesy, too. Remind me to never write things in the middle of the night while listening to sad songs.

#ubbe imagine #ubbe lothbrok #vikings #vikings imagine #ubbe smut #ubbe x reader #vikings angst #vikings smut

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icharchivist · 6 years ago

Note

How do you think Mana/the Earl would react to learning Lavi want to be his cute-little-son-Allen's boyfriend ? Would he just find it cute and encourage it or would he smile threateningly and casually scare the living daylights of Lavi just in case ?

okay ngl i’m getting so many meta-ish possible-theories of what would happen that I completely forgot for two seconds that AUs/HCs exist and I had a major whiplash doing “wait i missed a chapter that would change my whole life” for a solid second oh my god thank you nonny

and in general i guess, Lavi would probably be shady enough for Mana to be protective, just to different scales depending on how and why. I’ll get in depth about that. Lavi can somewhat make people uncomfortable, don’t know if you can trust him with your son’s heart, so y’know, stuff to be warry about. And I think Mana/Earl would consider it.

NOW onto the details of HOW

aNYWAY so. so. So that’s a problem of the Earl/Mana. Let’s picture three scenarios possible depending on which Earl we’re talking about.

So first, Mana Walker. Allen’s adoptive father. Would he still remain the same as we know him (say, meeting Lavi as a kid AU, or perhaps as an internal voice in Allen’s head, or just in more casual AUs where he’s alive) I can totally see him as an overprotective father who still would respect his son’s choices. Not too trusting of Lavi in general, probably nudging the conversation to Allen about being careful but Allen being stubborn, but, y’know, not getting his nose where it doesn’t belong. Letting Allen deal with it. (and if casual AUs let’s say Allen had enough help from Uncle Cross to at least be sure that Allen can handle himself on Allen’s own term if things go sour, so Dad’s gonna be the emotional support but will let the son handle himself otherwise.). Meanwhile Mana would probably try to befriend Lavi and be cheerful with him! If he’s gonna be your son-in-law, he’ll treat him like a son! even if he’s shady! Gotta make him feel welcomed in the family! And meanwhile always being a support for Allen to open his heart to.So I say, supportive mindful Dad who don’t get too much in the way.

Then The Earl as he currently is. With a very torn opinion on Allen considering he wants to adopt Allen for Nea (forcefully adopting your ex-adoptive son in order to adopt your brother who’s also You is one of the most hilarious thing about this manga), but eehhh let’s picture a scenario in which the Earl doesn’t actively force Nea out for whatever reasons but still keep Allen around as a son (to Allen’s greatest dismay).

Without entering into “Allen knowing the Earl is his father”, i think the Earl would be muuuch more reculent to Lavi being around because this would be someone who could take his son away and that’s not something he’s very found of. If we get the Earl to treat Allen like he treats the rest of the Noah, i’m pretty sure he would let it be, like casually bring up “you know your boyfriend is a dirty liar right? ❤” “Still lies better than Tyki at Poker.” “Was. Not involved in the conversation, thanks Shounen.”

Still thinking that the worst part would be the outsider factor, making sure Allen doesn’t slip away again. Perhaps would oppose to the relationship for a time unless he believes that at least it could stop Allen from running away from the family.

Would see him get dirty with Lavi though. Like casually threatening him, y’know, not to challenge the family’s equilibrium, totally not because he ended up caring for the vessell of his brother, that would be utterly ridiculous. “Erg, Allen, I think… I think your “father” wants to make me a cake.” “Well, that’s great isn’t it? You’d share a piece right?” “No- I mean, He wants to make me a cake. As in, into a cake.” “Ah. I’d still get a piece though rig- Alright alright don’t look at me like that I’ll tell him to stop don’t panic i’m joking.”

A version of The Current Earl who Would Remember Being Mana Walker (so say, a future version where the memories came back and all), would be a Earl that cares 100% for Allen. And I should have thought my process through bc he’ll just be Earl!Dad but in worse. Like in even more openly caring for Allen. And he wouldn’t have had to lowkey be blackmailing Allen to have him stay around.

Let’s go wild, after all, Allen finding back his father figure might at least justify y’know, spending in the family dinner and trying to convince your dad not to destroy the world around a turkey and obviously bringing his boyfriend to the parties because sometimes that’s what avoid some fights between the family, just like you can avoid your controversial uncle from voicing an opinion at dinner by bringing your controversial boyfriend along who is not recording all of that for his clan. (Nothing avoids controversial topic like having a living recorder to rat it out)

(okay no trying to picture that I just had the picture of saying, Allen leaving Lavi at the table for a minute bc he’s chasing after Road or the twins or something, so Lavi is alone at the table with his now in-laws family and he’s. Just. Nervously smiling, stiff. And going. “…. so. Humanity. Sucks right?” to try to make small talks waiting for his boyfriend to come back and i can’t stop thinking about it)

Anyway there I think the Earl would try less to push Lavi away because just like Mana, his son’s happiness goes before anything! But the sadistic part of him that makes him a Noah, and who mistrust a bit Lavi with the heart of his poor, sweet son, would pull Earl!Dad stuff to lowkey threaten him, usually trying not to get caught doing so by Allen.

I could also see him get faaar more involved in Allen’s life in general (”why don’t you stay in the ark for the holidays with your boyfriend, com’on it would be great❤” “You mean in the room I somewhat got reassigned that is near the Jasdebi’s which is completely incidental to the fact they would be able to make death-pranks on my boyfriend just because they were bored?” “…… ❤💧 I can find you another room.” “Yeah.”).

He would be nudging Allen far more about how inadequate Lavi might be (”You know he said a horrible lie earlier?❤“ “Well you murdered people earlier today I believe you cannot judge.” “Touché.”) But yeah, that would fall flat.

So he would also be trying to emotional support Human!Mana would have done and understand… some of Allen’s bounderies, like if Allen told him to not do something he won’t do it. But it’s funny to freak Lavi out and he will use his Earl’s sadism for that. Just perhaps with less intend to actually hurt than he would have would he just want to make sure Allen gets involved in the family.

But all and all I could see him also do an effort to be on good term with Lavi and listening to Allen’s concerns and feelings, just like Human!Mana would have done.

So basically the further we go down the scale the more we go from “kind and understanding father” to “Oh Allen does his things and he does it well and I will not oppose to it and i will be friendly to his boyfriend but i will freak the hell out of him”, with more or less intensities with how much of a Noah he is and how much he cares about Allen as an individual.

…….. That was ways funnier to imagine than i anticipated :’D hope you like it nonny ;O

Take care!

#ichafantalks dgm #ichashipping laven #eh hadn't posted in this tag forever #which is funny since lbr most of my lavi regarding allen stuff fall under shipping goggles a lot #but oh well *finger guns*#ichafantalks dgmhcs #Anonymous #ichareply

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cat-the-dragon · 7 years ago

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JayTim week Day 5: Fake/Pretend Relationship // Royalty AU

AO3 Link

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Tim stayed deathly silent, hoping that his iciness alone would convey the weight of his disapproval.

No such luck. The old earl kept prattling on about how much more suitable to rule Tim was compared to his older brother because at least Timothy had been adopted from a ducal family and not street performers.

Tim took a deep breath to calm himself, then smiled as sweetly as he could, and told the old fart that he would be sure to relay his message to his father the king.

Earl Duchamp blanched, and started stuttering. Tim didn't give him any sympathy, or wait around for his rushed excuses, instead storming out of the room.

This had been happening more often as Tim came of age, all manners of ensconced and stupid noblemen and women coming up to him to tell him how relieved they were that one of Bruce's adopted sons at least had some blue blood. It did tend to be accompanied with the most unsubtle hints about how good a queen someone of their family would make, and Tim was completely fed up with it all.

He did tell Bruce and Dick of each one of these unsubtle offers for support to get himself declared as the crown prince, and he knew that Bruce liked having this list of problematic nobles. But Tim felt his patience with hearing insults aimed at his amazing brother or his dead parents wear thinner by the day. He didn't know how long he would last before he started challenging these idiots in duel.

He had already done everything he could to make his unwavering support to Dick obvious, but apparently that wasn't enough. Normally, he would have been able to send out a message about his lack of ambition toward the crown by carefully choosing his marriage, but as a second prince, the possibility of his marriage was too big an exchange currency to get wasted in a single political statement. Especially one as obvious as his unwavering support for his older brother.

But thinking of marriages... Maybe he could get lover. Something scandalous enough that idiot nobles would stop thinking he is as close-minded as them?

Someone low-born. But who could protect themselves against petty nobles. Male would be nice for shock value. With loyalty to Bruce, and who wouldn't try to use Tim for more power. Already, Tim could only see one suitable candidate, but he kept listing qualities, to feel out the solidity of his choice. Someone he could separate from without worry for either of their reputations later. That Bruce wouldn't be opposed to as Tim's lover. Someone the people loved and whose appearance next to Tim would not cause the commoners to fly out of the handle with outrage. Who had enough power of his own that even the nobles wouldn't want to get in a fight with him.

The Red Knight.

If Dick was the fairytale prince, poor street performer adopted by a king after his parent's tragic death and now set to be the next king that everyone adored because of how good and empathic he was, then Duke Todd was the hero of an epic poem.

Jason Todd was born a commoner, maybe even less than that, at one point there had been rumors that his mother had been a lowly whore, though no one dared besmirch the Red Knight's mother now.

Through determination and hard work, he had became a member of the palace guards, and one day, had saved Prince Richard from an assassination attempt. That had made Bruce take notice of him, and he had been given a horse, a house, and the title of Knight, as well as a place in Bruce's own escort. Then one day on the battlefield, Jason, then called the Red Knight, dove in front of a spear to protect his king. He almost died from his wounds. Bruce had given him the title of Duke, a land, and the fortune necessary to administer his fief as a recompense.

But that wasn't where the list of Jason Todd's achievements stopped, at least not as far as Tim was concerned. One thing Bruce had forgotten when appointing his recompense was that his Knight had never learned to count or read. Todd had yelled at Bruce that he was illiterate and couldn't administer a Duchy, and Bruce had offered to lend him his best royal tutors to avoid to the both of them the humiliation of having to retract his recompense.

And so Jason Todd had learned. He was now an excellent reader, and could verify his Duchy's taxes on his own. He now knew how to read, speak and write several languages. He read for fun, and had opinions on classic writers, his land was flourishing under his care, and he, as far as Tim could tell, had never accepted a single bribe.

Even though he was now a Duke, he had never made a move to get the people to stop calling him the Red Knight, and so it was how he was still referred to half of the time. Another man could have taken offense to this, but he seemed prouder about this title than that of Duke, and that was yet another reason why everyone adored him.

Truly, there was no one better suited to play the part of Tim's scandalous lover.

A smile now firmly pressed to his face, Tim power-walked down the corridors to find the chamberlain. He bumped into Dick on his search and paused. "Oh, hey. Could you tell Bruce that Earl Duchamp just offered me his support to climb up before you in the line of succession? I'm a bit busy."

Dick caught his arm before Tim could make it much further. "What else happened? You never smile when someone tries to kiss up to you. Were you jinxed?"

Tim blinked at Dick. Oh, yeah, right. Might as well use this as a set up for his plan. "No. I am in love, Dick."

Tim used Dick's surprise to slip out of the hold, now running down the corridor so his brother wouldn't catch up to him.

By the time he found Alfred, he was out of breath, but he probably had the most gleefully manic expression on his face. "Alfred! I need to get a message out to Duke Todd, to meet me at his earliest convenience!"

Alfred blinked in surprise. "Very well. I shall let him know."

"Magnificent!" Tim beamed, already running out because he might still have an overbearing older brother chasing him. It had been a while since he felt so alive. Maybe he should get up to mischief more often.

Two hours later, Tim was hidden in a tree, snickering at his brother's loud cries of "Timmy, who is iiit?" When he spotted Alfred heading his way followed by a familiar mountain of a man. He probably should have given Alfred the time to answer after asking him to call the Red Knight for him...

He jumped down to the ground and tried to look moderately put together. "Oh, great. That was fast. Thank you Alfred."

Alfred had his prim and proper face on, but Tim could see a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. "It just so happened that I had afternoon tea scheduled with Sir Todd to discuss the fine point of miss Austin's literature today."

Tim swallowed. "I am sorry for disturbing your plans."

Behind Alfred's back, the Red Knight was giving Tim a disbelieving stare. Well, nothing much he could do about the circumstances now, was it.

"Would your urgent meeting with Sir Todd have anything to do with the crown prince chasing you, your highness?"

Tim gave Alfred is brightest grin. "I sure hope so. I need to be able to have a talk in private, could you arrange it?"

"Well, by such a nice afternoon, I would recommend going out for a bit of a ride along the river."

"Brilliant." Tim grinned and started walking toward the stables. Then he paused, looked back at Jason and cleared his throat. "I mean, if you're okay with it?"

The Red Knight was still giving him a disbelieving stare, but he shrugged and followed Tim, so it was probably alright.

The stable hands rushed to get them horses as soon as they saw the illustrious figures asking for them, and before long, they were riding out of the castle.

Tim kept glancing over his shoulder until the Red Knight cleared his throat. "So, Why is Prince Richard searching for you? Or more importantly, why are you avoiding him?"

Tim turned back, grinning, but he sobered up at the suspicious expression aimed at him. "I didn't want to have to answer to his questions before I talked with you."

The suspicious expression didn't go away, and Tim sighed. "You must be aware that many nobles are coming to me offering me their support to get myself declared heir to the crown in prince Richard's stead?"

It might not have been the right thing to start out with, as Sir Todd had turned thunderous hearing his words. "And so you needed to have a secret meeting with me to confirm my support before you confront him about your betrayal?"

Tim almost fell off his horse in surprise. "No, god no." He peered at the Red Knight's still angered expression. "Though seeing your reaction to this assumption does reassure me that I was right in choosing you for my plan."

The narrowed eyes he got in response were a proof that Sir Todd's suspicion were still clinging. "And what might your plan be, your highness?"

Tim looked around to confirm no one was eavesdropping on them, then nudged his horse to come closer to the knight's. "I was going to ask you to be my lover."

Todd jerked, then stared at Tim. "What? Your What?"

Tim shushed him, then elaborated in a still hushed voice. "You don't have to actually sleep with me. But I'd like to introduce you as my lover to as many people as I can for the spring festival."

"But why?" Asked the knight, still looking totally out of his depth.

"Oh, right. I skipped a step in my explanation again. Most of the people trying to convince me to overthrow Dick use my higher lineage as a reason for it, and they generally have the ambition of marrying me to a woman in their family before or after the fact." Todd nodded along, but didn't look like he had caught all of Tim's reasoning. "Publicly claiming that I am lovers with the Red Knight would send the message that I couldn't care less about lineage, and that I am not looking for a queen. It should give me a break from these vultures before I end up killing one of them."

Sir Todd looked a bit less angry and a lot more considering. "And what would the advantages be to me?"

Tim paused. He had thought about his would be lover's security, but he hadn't thought about arguments to convince him to do it. He rooted about for what he knew about the knight. "Well... You would get the satisfaction of annoying them. I chose to ask you specifically because they can't really try to threaten you for being with me." He took a deep breath, thinking some more. "Since me showing a preference for males would also weaken my claim on the throne, that would also be a way to reinforce Richard's claim?"

Sir Todd stayed silent for a minute. "I would enjoy messing with these idiot nobles... And I do have enough power to protect myself while doing this... But I have a Duchy to administer, I am a pretty busy man."

Tim nodded eagerly. "It isn't a problem, Duke Todd, as I said, I don't actually expect you to come sleep with me every night, and my princely duties aren't so heavy that I can't get leave form them every now and then to come and visit you at your estate."

The duke groaned. "If we are going to do this, please call me Jason. Does the King know of your plan?"

Tim shook his head. "No, I didn't tell him, I just had the idea, and I wanted your answer before I made any announcement. I did tell Dick that I was in love, though."

Jason gave him an appraising look. "Is that why he was looking for you?"

Tim laughed. "I'm already having way too much fun with this plan, I can only imagine how much more I'll have when you're actually in with me."

Jason sighed. "I can't believe I came to a point of my life where I am saying this, but yes, your highness, I will be you lover."

Tim rubbed his hands in glee. "Great. Let's go back to the castle, we can try and get Dick to catch us in a compromising position. Oh. And if we are going to do this, please call me Tim."

Jason made his horse turn around and trot back with Tim's. "Great. I am already regretting it. I thought we were doing it to fuck with the stuck up nobles, not prince Dick?"

Tim looked back and grinned. "We are, but fucking with Dick is always a bonus."

Jason shook his head, but snorted and pushed his horse to go faster, turning their trip back into a chase.

Tim dismounted his horse still high from the feeling of a conspiracy going as he wanted it to, and the childish pleasure of a good game on horseback. He turned to grin at his brand new 'lover', but hear Dick's voice yelling for him awfully close by, and running footsteps. Oops.

Before he really had a plan, Jason had caught him around the waist, pushed him in an empty stall and crowded him against a plank wall.

Tim had a moment of total brain freeze. Oh, right. He had forgotten how very handsome and well built Jason was, hadn't he? Or, well, no, it wasn't really forgettable, but he hadn't thought about how he would be getting up close and personal with all the handsome in the course of pretending they were lovers.

Also, tall, tall enough that his hasty try at a compromising position had him leaning a forearm right above Tim's head and positively looming over him, and that was. That was something.

He jolted out of his daze when he saw a black tuft of hair moving over the top of the stalls, right. Dick. Compromising position.

He hasty put his hands on Jason's sides, trying not to focus on the muscle definition he could feel under the fabric, and went to his toes to kiss Jason's lips.

Jason jolted, but got with the program fast, moving one hand to cup Tim's cheek and adjust the angle, while simultaneously pulling him in so their hips were flush.

Tim moaned, earning himself a questing tongue nudging past his lips, and moved a hand to grasp at a broad, muscular shoulder. His other hand roamed about, feeling all the ways in which Jason was most definitely still keeping up to shape on top of all his duties, and he wanted desperately to be touching bare skin. And why wouldn't he?

At the same time as he opened his lips to invite Jason in, he tugged at his tunic, untucking it and slipping a hand underneath.

Jason shuddered a bit under his hand, slipping his own hand under Tim's ass and lifting him up, then pressing up against him. Tim was a bit blown away at how easily Jason managed to lift him despite the fact that he too had plenty of weapon training and was mainly made out of solid muscles.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, they didn't get carried away any further because Dick interrupted them with a shrill scream of. "JASON? You're... With Jason?"

Well, compromising situation, managed.

Jason let go of Tim a bit abruptly, but not enough that he couldn't catch himself, and Tim cleared his throat, brushing his admittedly messy hair out of his face and smiled lopsidedly at his brother. "Hum. Surprise?"

Tim was internally dancing with glee at how flawlessly his plan was going. Dick was such a huge gossip, everyone in the castle was sure to know within hours.

Well, a bit later. Dick seemed like he was a bit broken at the moment.

"Please let me tell Father about it?" He mumbled to complete the illusion.

Dick nodded, but otherwise stayed stuck in place.

Tim grabbed Jason and pulled him out of the stables, stifling his giggles as long as they were within earshot of his brother. Jason put a hand on his back, looking a bit bemused as Tim wheezed with laughter. "His face! Did you see his face. This is priceless!" Tim guffawed for a minute before he could take a deep breath, then looked up into Jason's faintly smiling face and smiled big and wide. "Let's go tell Bruce all about our torrid love-story!"

Jason shook his head, but still looked very amused. "I really should have said no, shouldn't I?"

Tim chuckled. "Probably, but it is too late now, lover mine!" Still grinning at his giant prank, he took Jason's hand and jogged toward the castle. "Our love cannot be stopped anymore!"

Jason grunted, but followed him without a hitch as they headed toward Bruce's study. An idea came to Tim and he pushed Jason in an alcove then pressed himself close to him to whisper in his ear without risks of getting overheard. "We have been in love for one year, but you always insisted that I had to come of age before we could consummate it."

Jason blinked, then nodded. "Of course, you're already four years younger than me and a prince, I wouldn't want to get hung for touching you before your twentieth birthday."

Tim sighed exaggeratedly. "Yes, a shame for lost time, but you just can't help being such a gentleman... Thankfully we can catch up for that time now that we've come out publicly about our relationship."

Jason finally snorted. "Are you really not going to tell the king the truth?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

Bruce took the tale with a sigh and a head-shake. "The two of you should have told me, I would have laid the groundwork for your public revelation. How do you intend to go about it?"

Tim cleared his throat. "Well... Dick just caught us... Hum... In the stables... The whole castle should know before tomorrow, and then it will seep in town soon after. I can just show up with my lover next to me for the spring festival opening and we can make a formal announcement at the great ball?"

Bruce nodded. "I guess it will do well enough." Then, as they started getting up and heading for the door. "Tim, Jason? I have to tell you that I do approve of your relationship. It will be good for morale to have one of my sons seen publicly with one of the people's heroes, I might even manage to have the churches of the green light of Will accept to marry you if you wish to, but I will need some time. As I said, had you told me earlier..."

Tim swallowed, throat suddenly dry. Well, that wasn't quite what he had expected. "Thank you. We can wait, it's okay."

Jason wrapped an arm around Tim and bowed to Bruce. "I thank you for your esteem, my King. But Tim and I... We aren't ready to discuss Marriage just yet, maybe, maybe next year."

Bruce closed his eyes with a faint smile. "Yes, do enjoy your young love without constraints, but remember my offer. Now get out with your lovely aura, I have work to do, and you two have to find a place where you won't be walked in on."

Tim blushed and walked out.

They silently headed for Tim's chambers and sat on his bed. "Well. I wasn't expecting that."

"Me neither." Jason sighed. "It's always a shock when King Bruce takes it upon himself to compliment me that way."

Tim looked up at Jason's face and huffed. "You are worthy of every compliment, and he is right, our people love you, me being seen with you is not only acceptable, it will make the royal family even more loved than Dick and Bruce already make it, and I should have guessed Bruce would see it that way."

By this point, Jason the Red Knight was blushing furiously. "Can you stop it. It isn't for real."

Tim set his face and rolled on all four on his bed. "It could be. This kiss was incredible. I wouldn't mind a repeat. I wouldn't mind you sleeping here either."

Jason stared at him, then he set his shoulders and stood up. "You have just decided to pretend to be with me to ward off pesky nobles, and this castle is full of nosy maids... And princes. I have also not told my people that I intended to stay over. If you still feel that way by the time you can free an evening to spend at my estate, then I will have no problems with having you in my bed, but if we are to do this, it will be neither now nor here. It will not be rushed, I won't allow it."

Tim swallowed, taking the declaration in. "I accept your terms. I hope I can manage to free myself tomorrow, then, lover mine."

#jaytim week #jaytimweek2018 #jaytim #royalty au #fake relationship #pretend relationship #prince tim #prince dick #my fandom and me #cat writes

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goldenscript · 7 years ago

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stand the rain | pt. 1

↳ chapters: one | two (final)

pairing: lee taeyong | reader genre: bodyguard au / fluff, a sprinkle of angst word count: 8,648 description: for someone who has only ever known the feeling of physical pain in its most potent form, Lee Taeyong has never known love and all its treasures (and emotional pains) up until his most recent assignment: you. author's note: this was made out of love for my two biggest taeyong lovers: @jungnoir and @workofteaguk 💓 i love you guys!

→ inspired by this rendition of new edition’s can you stand the rain! give it a listen while you read (i had it on replay as i wrote this ehe)~

By the seaside where dusk has finally broken past the peach and magenta hues, Lee Taeyong finds himself in contemplation over a matter that has long since been one of his biggest concerns in life—love. Akin to just a foreign concept, he is lost in its waves in more ways than just one. In truth, he hasn’t been in love for a very long time.

It’s probably been even longer since he can last recall ever uttering those three little words to anyone else aside from his mother but even that was over a year ago. It isn’t that he’s never been in love nor is he adversed to the concept of falling in love either. It’s just that his job and the many lives that have come across in it take up more time and effort than half of his quarter-year relationships that never went farther than fleeting touches and passing kisses. And honestly, he’s never really worked up that kind of nerve to tell someone he loves them. Partially out of fear and out of logic.

To love someone is to essentially put their heart in your hands and put their lives there too. It isn’t just a physical unison but something that of an emotional one. If he can’t match the wavelength of his partner’s feelings, is it even worth putting himself through anything that could lead to pain? Of course, this isn’t the hardest feat considering he protects lives for a living wage; after all, he lives to protect and to ensure the safety of his assignments. But it’s a far cry from doing the same with a significant other. There are moments where he doesn’t even know what’s going to happen next, where there are nights that go on and blend into even more days and sometimes even weeks. He’s a thorough worker with one of the best reputations at Neo, because of that, he’s constantly in danger.

His job is more than just wielding a gun and walking around a compound at thirty-minute intervals. He’s literally been assigned the life of another person, and if he screws up even in the slightest then it’s on him. Even the thought of failing his charge sends a shudder down his spine. He could probably live with severing ties with a significant other, but the loss of a life? He couldn’t possibly live with that so he could essentially live without love. Anyway, love in itself is meant to be happy.

He’s supposed to provide his partner with happiness. The kind that comes with soft touches, with loving remarks, and with a future that didn’t have them on their toes every other minute of everyday because life and living is never truly guaranteed. At the least, when you love someone it’ll be easier when you’re not constantly praying that you make it another day.

In a way, this is what’s gotten him through his job, knowing that when he finds love, they’ll be a sunbeam to the darkness he’s enlisted himself into. It’s funny to think about on a job, but with the whispers of the waters in front of him and getting off early thanks to you (and you to some degree), he can’t help but contemplate now.

There comes a scrapping of the chair beside him that breaks into the crashing of waves a few yards away, he snaps away from trance and finds you looking at him with kind smile and steaming mugs in your hands. He can’t deny just how sweet you look with your large sweater keeping away the cool air and the way your hair is tied away from your bare-faced visage. Not many get the privilege of seeing such a sight, so he can’t help but log it into the recesses of his mind because you’re truly a sight to behold.

“Penny for your thoughts?” you ask, sliding over one towards him. He immediately breaks the brief eye contact just to stare at the contents. “It’s just tea. I didn’t know if you took coffee this late.”

“Thank you,” he gives a nod, accepting it with a tentative sip. It’s earl grey with a hint of milk and honey, a divine concoction that has him secretly taking a deeper sip. Yours isn’t as light as his, and it makes him feel a little flushed to know that you paid attention to his taste buds.

It hasn’t even been that long ago since he received your request for his services. (Approximately fours weeks, but who’s counting? Certainly not him.) That Tuesday morning, a few of his colleagues had stared at him wide-eyed and mouths ajar because a celebrity like yourself hand chose him to be part of your security personnel. It wasn’t anything new, really, but it did catch him off guard to see even Johnny a little miffed at him for his new job assignment. Apparently, your status as a rising star was enough to set everyone on unease but Taeyong’s superiors didn’t see any issue with him taking on the assignment.

Among the many clients that have stumbled along his way, you’re different. Between being the closest one to his age to being the nicest celebrity he’s worked with so far, it just strikes him how close the two of you have gotten so easily. The way you seem to pick up on certain things about him always made him feel a little flustered and the occasional times you’d let him off the clock sooner than necessary always seemed to make him feel too many things that he didn’t understand. And it’s not like he has feelings for you, but there’s definitely a fondness beginning to bloom. He normally wouldn’t linger any longer than he had to unless there was a threat but your beachside home was as safe as most homes came.

He finished patrolling your house about a half-hour ago, thoughts floating around his mind that came with being on the beach. It brought him back to times that felt a little more simple than toting a gun and daily perimeter checks. When he was younger, he loved the idea of love. He embraced it, accepted it, and most of all, he hoped for it so ardently that it made others laugh because how much of a hopeless romantic could he be?

From their responses, they all seemed to know some ultimate truth about the revelation that comes with prioritizing another human being besides one’s self. They would tell him that love isn’t a fairytale, that it isn’t going to be simple but watching his parents showed him how effortless it was. Perhaps not always because dark times are always bound to happen but love made it better for the most part. He remembers how whenever his mother was upset, his father brought her flowers and told her sweet affirmations that things would be okay and that he loved her and then she was smiling again. She would smile real huge and it made Taeyong feel so warm and so complete because it showed him that love could do wonders. It could turn cloudy days into sunny ones, and although he hasn’t been through that feeling like them, he still clings to the belief that if love is akin to anything (as foreign of concept as it could be) then it is akin to sunshine because that’s what peeks through all the rain.

“Shy?” you prod once again, glancing at him with a small smile curved on your lips. “M’sorry if it seems like I’m being nosy. You just seem… bothered.”

“You shouldn’t have to worry about that,” he answers and sets the mug down. He takes this moment to meet your searching eyes. A part of him wondering why it matters to you so much, but another part of him is curious to hear a second opinion on the matter. It’s been a good amount of time spent with you, and compared to most, he feels at ease enough to talk to you about certain things. “Well, what do you think of love? How do you see it?”

“Love?” you blink, nodding slowly. The mug in your hands remains knitted between your fingers and the makeshift paws of your sweater. He doesn’t expect a concrete answer considering it’s just one of those topics that have no sure answer, but more individualistic interpretations. It’ll always be open and confusing, but he doesn’t mind talking about it sometimes. It makes it easier to understand that way. “I guess what it isn’t is just sunshine and rainbows. It’s not easy or relenting. If anything, it’s hard as hell and very complicated.”

“What do you mean?”

You take a thoughtful pause, setting the mug down onto the table. He turns to look at you completely this time, brows drawn so far upwards he feels out of character. Usually he’s composed and unemotional, but hearing that answer makes him feel a little stab to what he had just conceived earlier.

Drawing your legs to your chest, you stare off toward the waves as you respond, “Well, love isn’t supposed to be easy. Maybe during the honeymoon phase or the puppy love stage or whatever, really, it’s difficult y’know? Like you already know how hard it is to have another person’s life in yours hands. Loving someone is almost the same, but the difference it’s more than protecting them, it’s showing them care and seeing them as a priority. You’re investing your time and effort into another person but the people you fall for may not be the best one. You get hits and misses, it just takes a lot more misses to get a good hit.”

Instead of speaking, he actually watches as your gaze floats somewhere far away as you continue your small spiel, “A lot of people tend to say that it’s the sun peeking between the clouds, warming you from a cold, rainy day. But I think love is being able to withstand the rain with the person you love. It’s pushing through struggles instead trying to shield them or protect from all the bad things because bad things happen all the time. When you try to hide those things, it makes harder to deal with them later on. So… yeah. I think love is the rain, if anything.”

He takes a moment to think with the information you’ve just told him. It’s nothing new, per say, food for thought for sure. He always seen the rain as something negative, so it’s interesting to hear a different spin on it. He admits, “I see it as sunshine like showing that person that you’ll be there for them. My dad has always been like that with mom, so I guess just picked that up.”

You break your stare on the waves, turning towards him right as his gaze is trained back on the darkened beach. He can feel your stare but from his peripheral he can tell that there is no malice or judgement directed at him. “That’s understandable. We often pick up ideals from observation anyway.” You say in a softer voice, breaking the casual atmosphere, “My parents haven’t been around for a while so I just learned from the world around me.”

He doesn’t press the topic and you don’t say anything further, allowing a silence to sit above you two. It isn’t quite awkward as it is heavy because love is a hard topic for people. It’s nothing short of unpredictability and expectations, sometimes even more than just expression but also action. It’s hard, as you said, and he sees how complicated it can be as he thinks back to those old flames that once elicited flutters in his chest. He’s not sure he was ever able to bridge the gap when the anxiety of his job has always gotten in the way.

“Have you ever been in love?” he asks, wondering if maybe you understood that struggle too. If duty came before fun for you as well.

A small, fond smile curves on your lips as you nod, “Very long time ago. You?”

“Not really,” he shakes his head. “Work first, y’know?”

“I can definitely relate,” you laugh softly. “It’s hard balancing the two but you’re a good guy, I think the right one will come and it’ll fall into place.”

He’s flattered that you think so, he makes no other mention to continue down that topic besides an expression of gratitude. Even just sitting here and talking to you sets his contemplations to some ease. It’s different to open up but he’s grateful that he can with you. To talk about love and its perks despite all the setbacks as someone who has more obligation than time for fun, it makes him consider the possibility that love is both sunshine and rain because wouldn’t that make sense? Couldn’t someone be there to stand with their love in the rain and couldn’t they provide the umbrella too? Doesn’t it… just matter if it’s the right one you’re standing beside?

The sudden influx of thoughts strikes his mind and he decides to share: “Perhaps seeing love in both ways: sunshine and rain helps. It’s like saying love has its ups and downs, but it’s worth it when the right person comes along.”

“That’s true… yeah.” You muse, grabbing hold of your now empty mug, “Love is sunshine and rainfall.”

The brilliant sky from earlier has finally gone down, sunken behind the flowing waves where an iridescent darkness is littered with twinkling specks. A beautiful sight in itself even as the wind begins to pick up.

“Well, it’s getting late. I should let you go to bed.” He rises from his seat, finishing off the rest of his tea. He feels a lot lighter now that he’s had that talk, and truthfully he feels a little closer to you now. He manages a faint smile as he says, “Thanks, Miss L/N.”

You reach over for his mug, rising as well. “You can call me Y/N, Mister—”

“—Taeyong, remember?” he pipes up, the corners of his lips aching to deepen. It’s still taking time getting used to forgoing formalities with a client, but considering the two of you are both the same age, he doesn’t quite mind it so much. He likes the way your name falls past his lips, and he does like hearing you saying his.

“Right, Taeyong,” you laugh, taking a step backwards. “No problem. I’m always open ears. Have a great night, okay? We have a long day tomorrow.”

“Yeah… I’ll see you tomorrow, Mis—I mean Y/N.” His straight face settles in as he watches you lock the porch door and wave at him. At the least he manages to wave at you before the curtains fall and shield any outsiders from viewing any part of your kitchen.

As his hand falls and he begins walking back around the perimeter for a final check, he can’t help but notice the squeezing sensation encompassing his heart. His cheeks flare up in a light dust of pink and that smile he fought earlier makes it way back on his lips as he begins to think back to the conversation you two shared.

He can’t wait for tomorrow—7 AM call time and all—and little does he know that he’s not the only one.

Over the course of those first four week and now the onslaught of another four, Taeyong has come to understand you better than most of your fansites. Of course, it is his job to understand you as your bodyguard. But there are some things that he doesn’t necessarily need to know that he has come to know in just observing and spending almost every waking day with you.

There are the necessary need to knows like what kinds of foods you can and can’t eat, who are the kinds of people you surround yourself with, where do you like to go so he can accompany you, and all sorts of other personal things that could possibly save you in the long run. Then there are the “unnecessary” things that he just couldn’t help but note in the back of his mind like how you tend to keep everything in your home neat for the sake of your own sanity, how you like to drink your coffee from your Keurig than any other coffee shop, and even how you’re actually unabashed to sharing your opinions or even calling out injustice when it happens.

It’s all a refreshing change from the countless CEOs and few celebrities that have been under his watch who aren’t quite like you, being this close makes him feel like he’s doing a better job than ever before and having the ability to freely communicate with you takes away a good chunk of stress because you don’t hide anything. You tell him where you want to go or who you’re hanging out with; hell, you even invite him to come along even when he’s not on duty. It’s different and kind of out of protocol, but truthfully, he has a good time spending most of his working (and non-working) hours with you.

He also knows how much you absolutely abhor interviews, solely for the questions they send your way because it’s never quite about the movie or the latest charity event you’ve done. It’s almost always more about who you’re going to the movie premiere with and what you’re wearing and if your role was even necessary as a female character, which is nothing less than a nuisance when you’re just trying to provide well-desired information for your fans but at least you have Twitter to help you out instead.

Even more so, he knows just how much you hate press parties too, especially the ones targeting older generations because more than half of the time, they’re often ragging on you for God-only-knows what. It’s even become an expected occurrence to see you meet his eyes from afar with an expression that intermingles exasperation and irritation from the sheer animosity that ensues during any sort of event that only grinds your gears further.

In some cases when he passes you by and he feels you give his forearm a squeeze, he can’t help but feel a smile ghosting on his lips and it takes a lot in him to regain that previous composure. And in other cases, he can see the visible discomfort and plea for assistance that has him flying over in an instant to keep any invaders at bay. Usually his approach is more than enough to keep them away, and that makes him very happy.

This night is nothing different than the other press parties you’ve been required to attend. It’s boring as ever, and you’re looking pained just standing around as everyone else seems to float around the room with pointless conversations. You look absolutely stunning as usual, even as you’re making a small (adorable) pout, you manage to catch his eye out of everyone else in the room. It barely takes even the slightest eye contact to pass between the two of you before he comes over as if beckoned forth.

“Must you smile at my pain?” you ask him, happily breaking conversation with a pair of older women who have long since gotten over their discussion with you. The sight of Taeyong have them lingering for another moment before they depart and giggle to themselves.

He pointedly ignores them and shrugs at you, feeling his cheekbones become more and more prominent as he attempts to bat away the gesture (though he’s probably failing). “M’not! I’m just enjoying myself,” he says simply. He’s scanning the area once again, feeling a little nervous under your scrutiny. He feels silly trying to hide from you considering he doesn’t have anything to hide, really, but he keeps an eye trained at the large group in the center of the penthouse that seemed to be dancing.

“Liar,” you huff, poking his chest with a small smile that he doesn’t miss from the corner of his eye. “Well, everyone’s finally left me be. Wanna leave?”

He blinks at you, following your steps backwards past the mini bar by stepping forward.

“C’mon! No one’s gonna miss us, and I know you’re dying to get out of here too.”

He’s certain that leaving early isn’t against protocol, considering you two have left venues earlier than expected anyway. A part of him is only disappointed because that usually means an early night and he’ll just be home, probably training or checking in with the trainees at the agency. It’s not much, but that’s the reason why he relishes in long nighttime events. Plus, as weird as this is to admit, he enjoys the long nights out with you. It’s only been a few weeks into his job with you but it’s become more and more enjoyable as time passes.

“C’mon,” you say, taking his wrist into your grasp. He wants to hold his breath, maybe that’ll stop the incessant beating of his heart. “I don’t want to go home but there’s a place I’d like to go see with you.”

His eyes go wide for a brief moment and it truly feels like his heart might fall out of his chest. It’s hardly even the touch of warmth pressing into his skin or the fact that this is the first time someone’s held his hand since middle school, but it’s glaringly clear that you are affecting him. He doesn’t even know how or why and he has no semblance of an idea of what to say in response to your inquisitive eyes boring into his like a reader skimming the letters on a page of their favorite book.

Instead of speaking he gives a slight nod, going along with the sudden force tugging him forth. Behind him the elevator doors closed and the rustling of your coat sits on your shoulders. You look at him with eyes so blown-out and a smile so wide, he feels amicable at the very sight. It’s an odd sensation in his chest, much like that night on the beach when you two talked about love, and this time he can’t shake it off his chest.

He lets you lead him toward the car, allowing you to take the driver’s seat as you look forward, already beginning to drive to wherever the destination is. “Ready?”

“Where are we going?” he asks, watching as the city streets begin to melt away and turn into the freeway flying past the two of you.

You barely look at him, halting the tune you’ve been humming to simply reply, “A special place.”

Although you two have spent enough time together to pass as friends, there are still things he doesn’t know about you and you him, and this was most definitely something new to him. He doesn’t mind that he doesn’t know everything all at once. It’s enough for him to sit and watch, doing his job and getting to know someone as interesting as you, because with every passing day, he’s come to find every aspect enjoyable, even when you’re groaning at him on bad mornings.

He finds his own resolve waning, keeping all his emotions at bay has become incredibly tough. His need to keep a straight face and complete composure on a job has begun to get harder and harder in your presence. For reasons unknown to him, you’ve just managed to do that to him. Even dragging him out to God knows where, he can’t help but be enthralled at the sense of adventure that he often associates with you.

You’re driving toward the familiar path to your home, the curving pathway that takes the two of you away from the main area of the beaches. He knows the way here by heart, feeling his brows knit together in slight confusion since he pretty certain he had seen every nook and cranny of your home and its close proximity by your coaxing and his own protocol.

“Your special place is your home?” he asked, looking over at you as the car comes to a complete stop.

“Well, yes and no,” you laughed, exiting the vehicle and waiting for him to do the same.

“Huh?” He shuts the door behind him, watching as you scurry toward your backyard. He follows suit and doesn’t miss you going inside for a brief moment.

You return without the large coat on your shoulders and with a six-pack of Blue Moon in one hand and a pair of sandals in the other. “Obviously my home is my safe haven,” you say, shoving them on as you begin to trudge through the sand and toward a path away from the beach shores. “But this place is even more special, so c’mon, slowpoke!”

The detour takes you both up a rising incline atop the small cliff that overhangs the dark, inky waters below. The ground itself is fairly smooth so he doesn’t have too many worries about you possibly falling over. He has no doubt that you’ve done this plenty of times before from the way you’re trekking upwards with ease. It’s not too bad for him, but he feels relief when you plop down onto a flat rock a few meters from the edge.

He takes a seat by you when prompted and he feels the condensation of the beer in his palm as soon as his leg brushes against yours. He hold back from opening it until you nudge his arm with your shoulder.

“S’fine, Taeyong, you’re off duty!” You wink at him, cracking yours open; thus, prompting him to do the same. You hold it out to him instead of drinking it immediately, and he shakily taps his can against yours despite how much his brain and heart are screaming at him for it. He doesn’t even know why you brought him out here or why you wanted to show him this place. Of course, he doesn’t mind but you did say this was a special place after all.

“Wondering why I brought you here?” you asked with an amused smile, raising a brow at him. “It’s written all over your face.”

He nods, running a hand through his hair. He takes another swig, allowing the alcohol to course through his body. “I mean it’s special, so why me?”

You shrug, looking away as you replied. “‘Cuz you’re special to me. I mean we’re friends, right?”

He nods, “Yeah, I’d like to thinks so too. I just didn’t expect to get an invite since I’m also your bodyguard too. Unless you wanted protection from falling.”

“Too late for that,” you mutter lightly under your breath.

He tilts his head at you, “What was that?”

You shake your head, “I-I’ve fallen at this place before so y’know too late!” There’s an off way to the way you explained yourself but he can’t quite deny that you probably fallen on this small cliff considering how steep it can be. He just feels an undoubtable contentment as he continues to sit beside you, just drinking beers, and staring up at the night sky decorated with twinkling stars in the far distance.

“Well, it’s really nice here,” he says, leaning back onto his free arm. “This place is full of surprises. This was in plain sight.”

You smile, nodding lightly. When he glances over at you, he can see a peaceful demeanor wash over your features. You might’ve been enjoying yourself at the party, but the sight he’s seeing is way beyond the plastered-on smile you were sporting around those other celebrities. This revelation makes him feel a little happy to know that he can still see you in your purest form, even when he is protecting you.

“Yeah, I was exploring around when I moved here and I found this place. I came here that first night and I fell in love because you can see everything just by the moonlight.” You tip your head back to take another deep swig, the semi-empty can sloshing on the free space to your other side. “Thank you for coming. It makes me happy that you enjoy this place too.”

His own can is left astray on his free side, leaving his brain to wander as he becomes completely aware of just how little space there is between the two of you. With the oceanside breeze floating across the peak a little more than before, your shoulder brushes against his arm, probably trying to siphon the warmth he’s sure to be radiating with the suit jacket adorning his body. He doesn’t mind and he’s certain that his brain just losing any and all forms of that resolve because he leans away from you and shrugs off the jacket to place on your shoulders.

When you glance at him sheepishly, he waves off the apology ready to fall past your lips. “Nah, I’m fine. We wouldn’t want you to catch a cold, y’know.”

You say softly, “Thank you, Taeyong. You do so much for me, and I appreciate every single bit of it.”

“Yeah, of course, it’s my job.” He muses aloud, not quite liking the way it sounds falling past his lips, because not everything he does for you technically falls under protocol. Most of the time he does things for you just because he wants to, but he doesn’t say any of that, he just lets you lean against him with his jacket on. It makes his heart thunder and he just hopes to God that you don’t hear when you’re so damn close.

After a moment, he mutters, “And, I want to… I like taking care of you.”

You look up at him, a wide grin on your lips that has him momentarily starstruck. “Good, it may be your job to protect but I’m glad that you like it anyway.”

He nods, looking over at the skipping waves and hoping that the moon’s beams doesn’t highlight the rouge blooming across his cheeks. He doesn’t understand why he seems to get so flustered with you and how easily you could be so straightforward, but he can’t help but enjoy it regardless of how embarrassed it can make him. It’s nice to feel like comfortable with someone, and for some reason, he can’t help but think that there really wasn’t anyone else that he’d want to feel this way with.

You two remain there, drinking beers for a few more hours. It’s pretty casual with conversations about how filming has been going for the newest, well-awaited film and how he’s been helping out some of the trainees at Neo. Each anecdotes falls past your lips without much thought, and it’s nothing different than more than half of the mornings you two have shared in long car rides exchanging stories about all yours and his favorites and least favorites, even funny stories from days past. Even when so little time has passed, he feels like he knows you as well as your best friend and it’s not an exaggeration either.

He goes home that night after getting into the cab you called for him, laying in bed with his cheeks still burning from all the laughter and smiling he did with you. He remembers every detail of your visage underneath the moonlight. The way your eyes lit up and narrowed when he teased you over to the way your cheeks turned a bright shade of pink. He can’t forget how much you pressed yourself against him, leaning your head against his shoulder as the stars looked down at the two of you. Even as he shuts his eyes, hoping to chase some hours of slumber, he can’t erase any of the past few hours or ignore how much his heart can’t seem to shut up.

Even after that night and the ones that blend seamlessly afterwards into weeks, he can’t forget that night. You’re still there when he’s home, when he’s at the gym, when he’s at the agency with the trainees, hell, you’re still there even when he sees you in the morning. He can’t seem to shake you away, and it baffles him so much because so little time has passed and yet you remain right there.

How is it that you could etch yourself so effortlessly into the forefronts of his mind?

Since that night at your special place (now a place you considered both his and yours), you two have made it a habit of leaving parties early just for a cold six-pack and staring up at the stars or at the movies playing on your television screen. Either way, Taeyong truthfully has come to relish in these impromptu hangouts. They’re nothing like the first night though he holds it very near and dear to his heart and his brain refuses to let him forget it either. These intimate moments for the two of you are ones that he can’t help but look forward to especially seeing how happy you are when you convince him to stay a while longer each time.

It’s those smiles and the puppy-like pouts that clench his heart, making his eyes go wide momentarily before he acquiesces to you, because he can never really tell you no anymore (not that he’s ever really tried). You’re all that consumes his mind nowadays, literally and figuratively, because you’re all he really sees and when he tries to compose himself into the back of his own mind, you’re there to take him back to moments you two have shared, whether it’s what you said to him a few nights ago or something completely unimportant like getting new coffee grounds or a new perfume (which he didn’t agree with because he likes the scent of jasmine and bergamot on you).

Everything up until now has been akin to the warmth of the sun, setting ablaze to his skin the beams of your energy and affection. It’s nothing like holding his hand or kissing his cheek though he’s come to realize that he wouldn’t dislike either of those things from you, it’s the subtle moments like the brush of your hand or the grip on his wrist as you’re dragging him toward a shop or across a venue because everyone else is getting too close to either of you. He feels himself slipping into your own little world, where safety and comfort welcome him, and you’re smiling at him with mischief glinting in the corner of your eyes because even though he’s supposed to be your employee, you treat him like a close friend and you’re unabashed to showing it too.

Today feels like no different from the way you cling to his arm on the way to the event. He feels your own tremors calming when he opens his hand to you and your fingers interlock with his own. His own visage betrays his emotions, but neither of you make any mention of it. It’s a habit the two of you have in doing, but not discussing his own feelings is a blessing all on its own because if you did, the only thing that they part his lips is the very fact that you look absolutely stunning. All dolled up to a perfection in a cerise gown that encapsulated you in a water of soft silk, hugging you in all the right places. At the least, the recollection of that moment he saw you walking out of your home with your stylist following close behind to fuss over the train and the weight of your hand in his are both enough to distract him just a little bit.

As normal as tonight is supposed to play out, with prospects of a movie and beer like always, Taeyong feels uneasy. Something’s gnawing at the back of his mind and his gut is pinging like an emergency alarm, but he can’t quite place what’s going to happen and the only thing he can really do is make sure the danger is minimized as much as possible.

The event itself is an extravagant and well-thought out after party for its partygoers, all decorated and set to the theme of the movie you were invited to the premiere of. All of which would be enough to capture your attention for an hour or two before you’re flagging him down to take the two of you back home, where you can kick of your heels and lounge around in a pair of sweats and kick back with him, beers and probably some take-out food settled on the coffee table between the two of you. He smiles at the thought, hoping the rest of the party goes by smoothly. It’s a far-fetched thought, but his doubts only stem from the fact that the venue itself is set in the heart of the city with a press coverage bigger than the previous parties you attended. And most things that were unknown and uncertain often lead to a mishap or two, but he hopes it’s only as far as you possibly breaking a heel than anything too serious.

You look over at him with knitted brows and a stroke of your thumb catches his attention. “You okay?”

He blinks, giving a slight nod. “It’s a big venue so I’m just ner… It’s a big venue so y’know.”

His cheeks are burning more than ever because how can he just admit that he’s nervous? He’s your bodyguard, after all.

You laugh, giving his hand a squeeze, “You and me both. This is my first time too, so stay close yeah?”

“You sure you want me cramping your style?” he tries to joke, still grateful that you didn’t call him out. “We don’t have to go if you’re feeling that uneasy.”

“Eh, I mean… it can’t be that bad right? Just an hour won’t hurt,” you say after a moment. You refrain from biting your lip to avoid ruining the deep red matte lipstick adorning your lips, highlighting more than he can probably handle, but he takes that moment to nod. It’s your call, after all. “Hour-half tops, so if I exceed that just gimme a tap and we’ll dip for chicken and beer, yeah?”

“Alright,” he says with a half-smile. the two of you both know he probably wouldn’t, but that’s only because the last thing he wants to do is take you away from your fun despite the countless times you’ve told him that he’s free to.

The car comes to a halt and the drivers comes out to let the two of you out. Your hand gives his a final squeeze before slipping away. With a faint smile on your lips, you watch him exit the vehicle and promptly join him after you maneuver out carefully.

He feels funny as you begin to walk ahead, watching as you begin to pose and smile for the flashing lights and the snapshots. It isn’t like he isn’t used to staying by the sidelines and watching from a distance but the odd pit in his stomach just reminds him on the stark contrasts between the two of you. Watching from this far and only following at a metered distance truly finalizes the fact that he’s merely your employee and not anything more than that, and he’s reminded that even with the weight of your hand still pressed against his that he’ll always be a few steps behind.

He tries not to mind this revelation so much; after all, it’s his job to keep you safe and nothing more. Instead of dwelling so much on the weight in his heart, he steels his nerves to brace for whatever’s causing the squeezing of his stomach. His mind floats away from the beauty of your visage and the warmth of your hands to accessing the rest of the ballroom because no matter how much he enjoys the way it seemed to fit so perfectly in his, he needed to keep the danger away. He scans each of the corners of the room, does his best to watch any of the people surround you, and talks with the other guards standing alongside him, who only confirm that the ballroom itself is airtight from any unwanted visitors.

You catch his eye from across the room mid-twirl in front of your friends and send a small smile his way, which he returns in the faintest way possible. His cheeks burn on their own accord, and it’s no real surprise anymore. But it burns even hotter as your friends disperse with giggles and you’re left alone to send one gesture his way.

One flick of your finger and he comes running, meeting you halfway as you saunter forth.

“Done already?” he asks, brows knitting together. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah,” you nod, smiling even wider. Tilting your head at him with a glint of concern washing over the hues, he feels even more embarrassed. “Plus, you look bothered… what’s up?”

Shit—! Was he really that obvious?

You’re probably laughing at the dumbfounded look on his face, and it has him knitting his brows together. “Is it really that obvious?”

You nod, cheekbones prominent more than ever. “It’s written all over your face actually.”

“Oh…” He scratches the back of his head, giving a small nod. Why was he even surprised? You always have a knack for reading him. “Well, you don’t have to leave just because of me.”

You give him a playfully incredulous look before shaking your head, “S’okay! The party’s not that great anyway. It’s just a bonus that you wanna go too.”

He doesn’t look convinced at all, but you nod fervently.

“You’re sure?”

Rolling your eyes at him, you grab a hold of his wrist and begin to lead him out of the large crowd of well-dressed people in a bit of a flurry.

Faces pass in blurs but he can see their brows drawn upwards at the sight of you holding onto him. A few murmurs follow the two of you outside, but it’s nothing short of inquiries about who he is and why you’re leaving with him. It surprises him how much you don’t care about those things, usually rumors like those spread like wildfire and not many people appreciate those sorts of things with friends, let alone with their bodyguard. But he reminds himself that this is you after all, and out of most people, you’re far from being like that. You don’t worry about who everyone thinks you’re with because you know what you’re doing and you’re not afraid to state it either, even in the face of paparazzi.

The side exit of the hotel isn’t as full of those camera-wielding space invaders as the front or the back, each of them trying to catch a glimpse of what’s going on inside and who’s with who. And it seems you’re no exception with the few that actually manage to spot you over him and the workers collecting the keys of the vehicle you had sent over.

As the employees of the hotel attempt to complete your request, a few of the men from across the main hall make their way over, shouting questions in their wake about who he is, why you’re leaving with him, and where you’re going. Of course, you don’t seem to necessarily mind the sight of you and him together but he does. He wants them to leave you alone, so he pulls his wrist away from your hand and uses his body to shield you from their view like he’s been trained to do.

You stiffen for a moment from the sudden close proximity, his own body pressing against yours but you ease up as he gestures toward the now opening double doors. His previous anxieties fade to the back of his mind, the only thing on his mind is getting you out of the building without further complications. Instead of lingering any longer, he coaxes you to start walking and you manage to do so whilst carrying the train of your gown.

He keeps close while the manager does his best in blocking off your other side from the intrusive flash, hollering over the questions getting thrown your way to reach his employees in doing better at barricading the others off.

Everything seems to happen in slow motion, discordant sounds thrumming as the two of you stumble onto the street and the weight of someone’s elbows come bearing down blows in a messy attempt to capture the scene. He takes the sharp digs, flexing his muscles and giving an outward shove before roughly calling over his shoulder, “Watch it!”

There’s a distant “Hey!” but he doesn’t stop to look back, nor does he care how that may look because it’s your safety first. He doesn’t even care for the amount of sharp digs and pressing cameras keep coming. The only time he truly feels relief is when you’ve safely made it into the passenger seat, and he can finally jog over to the driver’s side, aiming a pointed glare at the men in his way.

“Move,” he commands gruffly, lips pulled into a thin line. He looks over at you briefly but your eyes are completely trained on the dashboard and he swears he sees a tremor overtake the red waves. His brows furrow even further as his gaze flickers back to the two camera wielders stare at him with smirks gracing their lips.

They open their mouths to call out to him, probably ask another one of their stupid questions but he only maintains his steady expression. They only remain there for a moment despite the urging of the staff to vacate immediately, because he takes one step in their direction (his destination) and they’re suddenly staggering back.

As he enters the car, the manager bow with remorseful eyes. “I-I am so sorry, please tell Miss L/N that we take full responsibility for this incident.”

Taeyong sighs, looking over at you with a oang in chest as you move your focus from the dashboard to your hands. He meets the manager’s eyes with a small nod, “Thank you for your help. Have a good night alright? Please keep everyone else safe from suffering the same thing.”

“Y-yes sir,” the salt-and-pepper-haired man bows once again, turning to yell a few more orders at the staff while one of the young valets clears the way for your vehicle to leave. The rest of the paparazzi have evacuated though quite a few still linger in the corners of the hotel’s vicinity where “private property” jurisdictions don’t matter, and he feels his own grip on the steering wheel tighten.

He turns to look at you, noting all the ways in which you’re practically shivering and distant-eyed, and the only thing he can say is, “Are you alright?”

You blink and look up at him, flashing a weak smile before giving a small nod. “Y-yeah, don’t worry. Just a lil’ frazzled… c-can we go now?”

“R-right,” he chokes a little, but before he puts his seat belt on and starts the engine, he shrugs off his suit jacket and places it on your lap. You hold it close, bringing it around the seat belt and over your shoulders as he begins the drive back home.

The drive should’ve been easy and simple as per usual, but even on the road Taeyong suddenly becomes all too aware of the gnawing in his stomach, where the pit seems to flip flop and move from side to side, as if to tell him that the encounter with the paparazzi was nothing more than child’s play.

It’s a quiet drive as you both make it out of the city with little to no worries, and the only thing that passes between the two of you is the soft hum of breathing on both ends. He feels himself shift uneasily as he takes the exit out of the cityscape and onto the freeway where the forty-minute drive awaits the two of you.

The bright lights shining behind the two of you don’t seem to get farther with the distance or the fifty mile-per-hour he’s coaxing the car into; in fact, it feels like it’s getting closer and closer, with at least two other shining sets to back it up.

Are they following us?

His eyes narrow ever-so-slightly as they seem to get closer until one of the sets signals for an early exit toward an urban town. A small breath slips past his lips, only to stop short when he sees a flash come from your side of the car and a small flash of a man’s silhouette fades with the brief light.

You look over at him with furrowed brows, “Taeyong?”

He doesn’t say a word, attempting to keep his option in the lanes open. He considers taking the far left one with the other cars whizzing by, that would put a huge distance between the two of you and the possible followers. But is it really them?

He tells you to check if they’re taking photos of you, but it turns out it’s just someone playing on their phone.

“What’s going on?” you ask, looking at him with visible worry etched on your features.

“I thought it was them,” he admits, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry if I scared you.”

You shake your head, “s’okay… thanks.” Your hold around his jacket tighten as you admit, “This has never happened to me before, so… sorry freezing up back there.”

His heart clenches and not in its usual jovial way, and it makes him feel a little helpless that he can’t do much as you two drive. Even so, he’s not sure what he can do physically with the obvious distance in friendship and whatever came after that. He’s not quite sure how he feels for you in that way, but he knows that he cares enough to want to do something.

He’s not good at consolation, but he tries for you because from the corner of his eye he can see you need it now more than ever.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he says softly. “Those paps are jerks, and I’m sorry we couldn’t make our exit smoother.”

“It’s my fault,” you whisper. “I figured if we left early then no one would really care, but they did… and you probably got hurt.”

Fuck, you saw? He shakes his head, looking back so he can change lanes.

“I’m fine. I’m more worried about you.”

You don’t say anything besides a mere “oh,” but he doesn’t blame you for not knowing what to say. He honestly just wants to get you home safe and call it a night, so anything in between doesn’t really matter until then. He just continues driving until the exit comes up, usually an irritable sudden stop that catches most people off guard if they aren’t careful.

You showed him how to maneuver it the first time you had him drive you home, and he’s remembered to brace himself for it every single time because it still scares him from time to time. But it isn’t fucking up the stop that causes his stomach to drop, it’s the sudden sensation of being pushed forward.

“Fuck,” He glances over at the rearview mirror, squinting at the glare of the headlights. They’re closer than ever, and he sees a flash focused on the now dented bumper and the faint glow of the men he almost dealt with earlier. Under his breath, he huffs, “Fuckfuckfuck.”

You look at him with your hands on the dashboard and eyes fully blown. Your voice only augmenting as you see him speed up down the opposite path to your house, “What? Why?”

He lets out a deep sigh, glancing at the mirror once more before saying with certainty: “We’re being followed.”

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