Episode 1 Transcript: The Earth is a Year of the Rat
[Garageband Good Omens theme song plays]
C: Hello! My name is Crystal.
G: And my name is Grey.
C: And this is Rubbish and Probably a Podcast, a Good Omens commentary podcast, where I, someone who has seen the show too many times…
G: And I, someone who only knows this show through Crystal, discuss every episode of Good Omens.
C: For today's episode, we are discussing Season 1, Episode 1: “In the Beginning.” [G cheers] What a good time!
G: It is a very good episode of a TV show.
C: Yeah, I agree. I'm so glad you like it because I strong-armed you into doing this podcast. [G laughs]
G: You sure did. Well, I think I was mostly surprised in that- I am not an avid TV show watcher, and most of the TV shows that I do watch and like tend to have a very episodic nature, you know, like “there's a plot for one episode and it finishes up in that episode” kind of deal. So this one felt very cinematic in that it felt like a movie cutup, I guess. I don't know what the second episode is gonna be like. But it's very plot-heavy and all that crap, you know? It's pretty fun. It's new. And also it's very beautifully made. Like, it looks really good. [laughs]
C: Yeah. I mean, I think the CGI suffers in later episodes.
G: They have a budget.
C: But yeah, they definitely do have that Amazon money.
G: Yeah, they have that fucking Amazon Prime budget, baby. [C laughs] It's pretty good. Okay. So for the synopsis of the episode, we'll be taking the synopses from the Fandom Wiki. “This episode is about two celestial beings, the angel Aziraphale and the demon…” Crawly? [both laugh] It's Crawly, right? They pronounce it like that?
C: It’s Crawly at first, but it's Crowley now.
G: Okay. Crawly.
C: Crowley.
G: Like creepy-crawly? Crowley.
C: His name- in the Garden, his name is Crawly, and then he transgenderly changes it to Crowley later. So if you don't wanna deadname him, you should call him Crowley. [G laughs]
G: Crowley. God. Okay. “-have gone native and worry when their superiors tell them to prepare the Antichrist for Armageddon. They resolve to secretly join forces to make sure the Antichrist is neither good nor evil... unaware that there was an unwitting switch made and the Antichrist isn't who they think.” This is a really fun episode!
C: It is. I really like how much it clearly comes from a book. Like, lot of the God narration bits are just lifted wholesale from the book.
G: Yeah!
C: And I feel like it brings the structure together very well in a way that we don't get in Season 2.
G: I knew that it was from a book, but I would say that it does obviously come from a specific narration style, or whatever. But, I mean, I haven't read the book, so I don't know how true this is- it does feel a little bit like the visuals do add a lot to the story.
C: Yeah. Yeah. I really appreciated the cards visual. I feel like some people will think, “That's too much, I’m not that stupid.” But the thing is, I am that stupid. [G laughs] And I appreciate knowing how the mix-up happened.
G: I also quite like how funny it is.
C: Yeah.
G: It's so funny! It's a very funny episode in what I assume is a comedic show.
C: Yeah, and a funny book.
G: I mean, the thing about a lot of media that takes from Bible stuff is they kind of go both ways. You know, some of them can be “taking the piss out of the Bible” kind of thing, and the other side is kind of like, “take it super seriously it's unreal.”
C: Yeah.
G: I feel like this one is like, it's funny, it strikes the balance. And I'm not gonna be like, “But it respects the Bible!” like, I really do not give a shit. [C laughs] But it has a sense of being tethered to the concepts that appeal to me a lot.
C: Mm.
-
G: So, the intro of the show is very narrative-focused; I mean, the narration is the focus of the entire bit, and they’re talking mostly about how the world and the universe is formed.
C: Basically we have these sort of very fun graphics that are like Bill Nye mixed with Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, as a voice narrates, and it talks about a few theories regarding the creation of the universe, and then says that the Earth was actually created about 6,000 years ago. 4004 BC, at 9:13 AM. The voice then goes like, “This proves that God does not play dice with the universe. I play an ineffable game of my own devising.” Which immediately is- I remember this being a fun moment when I first watched the show, like, what a cheeky little reveal that the narrator is God. And then it says that the Earth is a Libra.
G: I know, I thought that was funny as hell!
C: It's quite funny. It has also incited- there's a lot of people who like to argue about what zodiac signs Crowley and Aziraphale have, and I think there's a school of thought that's like, "They have to be Libras, because that's when the Earth was created."
G: The Earth was created, yeah.
C: Yeah, which I understand. But also, they existed before the Earth was created. And I mean, I don't have an opinion on zodiac personalities, but like, for everyone out there, yeah. Glad that you have a line to back you up.
G: [laughs] The thing about me is, I do not give a single shit about Scorpio or Libra or whatever, but I care so so deeply about what year in the Chinese calendar you were born.
C: Oh, yeah! Wait fuck, what's 4004 BC, what animal is that? [G laughs]
G: Let’s look it up, baby.
C: Okay, okay. Let's do- okay. If we add- [sped up audio of C calculating] God, I don't know math anymore. This is disgusting.
G: It’s because you already did well in your GRE.
C: It's true. I did well in my GRE and then I decided that I was gonna forget everything in the entire world. Okay, so 2020 is 4 mod 12- [sped up audio of C calculating] -was the Year of the Rat.
G: Oh my god!
C: The earth is a fucking rat.
G: I love it.
C: Wait, that works so well! It's the first one! Like, the rat won the race! [G laughs]
G: That’s wonderful.
C: It literally is the first one! Fuck yeah, okay. Thanks, Neil Gaiman. That's something I won't say often.
G: Thank you Neil. [laughs]
C: You know what, maybe that was Terry Pratchett. Thanks, Terry Pratchett.
G: I'm sure that the Chinese zodiac was very deeply entrenched-
C: -was heavily consulted, yes- [laughs]
G: -into their writing.
C: - when they decided this. Yeah. My grandpa's a rat. Who are the rats in your life?
G: My parents are. [laughs]
C: Oh my god, both of them? What a win!
G: Yes, they were in the beginning.
After the whole Libra bit, which I thought was the most amusing thing in the world, and has made me decide immediately that this is going to be a fun show-
C: Hell yeah.
G: -they introduce Adam and Eve. I mean, not introduce, they show them, and they're like, out there in the world, in the garden of Eden. And we finally see Crowley as a snake slithering on that garden.
C: Yes, fun fact about his snake form is that he is a red-bellied black snake, which is a species that originates from Australia. Society if Crowley had an Australian accent.
G: [in an Australian accent] Oi there, mate. [laughs]
C: Exactly, exactly, just like Robert Chase.
G: They're just like Robert Chase!
C: And a thing about the red-bellied black snake is that they're not aggressive, they generally stay away from humans, and that even though they are venomous, there've been no recorded deaths from someone being bitten by one of them. And I feel like that's so Crowley, because as we learn later, he doesn't like tempting directly, he tries to do things that spread out small amounts of harm over a bunch of different people. So like, you're right, no deaths have been recorded from his bite. Saur fucking true. This was probably just chosen because of the color scheme, which is a fun color scheme. But you know, fun that the snake personality fits.
G: Also, can I say that, for some reason I always assumed- because you told me in the past that Crowley always wears sunglasses to hide the snake eyes, or whatever-
C: Did you think that they were red? 'Cause of Supernatural?
G: -and I always assumed they were red, yes! Are they ever red?
C: No.
G: Is that just a Supernatural thing that I just applied to this show?
C: That's just a Supernatural thing. Fucking Cr-ow-ley Supernatural has red eyes, but he's a disgusting thing that is not fit to touch my boy. [laughs]
G: Okay, yeah, so Crowley has-
C: He's probably fine, I haven’t even met him on the show yet.
G: I love the look of Crowley, and I love the way it changes through the years.
C: Yes! Yes, he's a very fashionable little guy.
G: Yeah! The hair change when he was a nanny, I thought it was wonderful! I thought it was amazing. And also the way- Aziraphale’s actor is called Michael Sheen. Am I correct?
C: Yes. Yes.
G: And Crowley is David Tennant.
C: Wait, have you had a- have you ever encountered David Tennant before? You were not a Doctor Who person.
G: Nope. Soon I will be a Midsummer Night's Dream- no, no, it’s Much Ado. [laughs]
C: No! Much Ado About Nothing! Yeah. Okay, yeah.
I've been badgering Grey to watch the Tennant and Tate Much Ado for a long time and these efforts manifested in rewriting the entire script of the play to suit Supernatural characters-
G: [laughs] Which I did not read at all!
C: -and sending them to him half a scene at a time every day for a month, and he didn't read any of it. But you know what, I had fun.
G: Yes, that's what's important. I think the way they both act is- especially, I think, David Tennant, because a thing that I know about this show as well is that you really, really, really like Crowley.
C: Yeah. [laughs] I want to be him so bad.
G: And I can see why, because it's like, you know, the fun charismatic guy.
C: Yeah, who's also a giant loser and flop.
G: Yeah! I don't know. Towards the end, when he was like, “Oh, the dog isn't here,” and then, you know, he gets a call from Hell, and he was like, “Oh, no, no, no! The dog is here! Never mind!”
C: Right. "Great, big helly hound."
G: It’s a good bit of characterization. [laughs] Yeah. It's super fun. And he is wonderful!
C: Yeah.
-
C: So right, we see him tempt Eve, who then passes the apple onto Adam, and right, what he says is, “This apple will give you…” And then it sort of blanks out. What did Bible Snake say to Eve again?
G: I think it's knowledge. Right?
C: Yeah, yeah. That tracks. A few things about the theology or whatever here, I feel like this skips over the most important parts of Genesis where God yells at them and casts them out and curses the snake or whatever the fuck to focus on Crowley and Aziraphale, which I think is fun.
G: [laughs] Yeah, this is more important.
C: [laughs] Yeah, this is the important part! Specifically, I feel like I often forget how this part of Genesis ends with the line, “After he drove the man out, he placed on the East side of the Garden of Eden cherubim, and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the Tree of Life.” That is not a line that I remember. But I just really like the idea that someone read this and was like, “Okay, there's two nonhuman characters in here. There's the serpent, and there's this unnamed angel with a flaming sword. And we've decided that they're besties, and that these two nonhuman characters, who have sort of created humanity as we know it by doing the apple temptation and then guarding the tree afterwards, that they're gonna stay on Earth for thousands of years and like it there, and also be besties, and in love.” Like, it's so fun!
G: Yeah! To skip over to the conversation that they're having, basically, there's an introduction between them. And Crowley’s-
C: Oh wait, I also want to talk about how Crowley created misogyny. [laughs]
G: Why? Go on.
C: Okay. The thing about this is that, Crowley invented misogyny? [laughs] Like that’s on him. [both laugh] Like she did that, that was her. In that- I feel like I was not there when various people came up with and spread the version of Genesis that we know now. But my assumption and I think the assumption of scholars in general is people were sexist, so then they wrote Eve being born from Adam-
G: Oh, yeah, of course.
C: - and taking the apple first. But in this world where all of this happened, misogyny actually happened because this happened, like, it's a different direction. And why did this happen? Cause Crowley fucking created misogyny. [both laugh] God. This is on them soo hard. I wonder if they ever think about that? Probably not.
So right, now we get the first meeting.
G: Yeah. So the first meeting is, they're talking, they introduce themselves to each other, and Crowley says that he doesn't know why- he think that giving the apple is that bad.
C: Yeah, and that God super overreacted.
G: Yeah. And Aziraphale is like, “Well, it must be bad, cause you did it, and you're a demon,” and he's like, “Well. Whatevs,” [laughs] and then we also find out that Aziraphale gave his flaming sword to Adam and Eve, so as to fucking help them out. Which I thought was- it's such a nice introduction to his character that "There is this duty which was thrust upon me, which was to have this sword, this flaming sword," [C laughs] and he just gave it away because it might help these two. I don’t know, I thought it was real sweet.
C: Yeah, it’s a really good moment. 'Cause it's like, you think that he's just a rule stickler or whatever or that he doesn’t think for himself.
G: Yeah.
C: But it's like, no, he has very strong compassion, and he acts on that, and then afterwards, he just has to justify it to himself, or hide it in some way, and Crowley is the one who draws it out of him, that like, “Hey, all the shit you were saying earlier about good and evil. So how does that stack up with how you actually feel, huh, bud?”
G: And they have this exchange of like, “Well, what if what I, the angel, did was actually bad? And what you, the demon, did was actually good? Wouldn’t it be so funny if we both got it wrong?” And then it starts raining, and I suppose this is an important scene, because you have talked about it. [C laughs] But Aziraphale lifts his wing so as to cover Crowley’s head as it rains.
C: Yeah, it's the first rainstorm of the new world, and it's- I'm just so stuck on how Crowley edges closer to Aziraphale and leans into him even before he lifts the wing, and I know it's probably just 'cause we don't hear them talking and discussing it beforehand, but I just like the idea that they're already comfortable enough with each other that they're like, “Hey, you'll protect me, right?” And it is important to note that this is not in the book or the original 2015 draft of the show. Like, Neil Gaiman added that in later, because he wanted to either bait or longcon, and [laughs] I support that.
G: I quite like the kind of conflict that they have here. It's not that "you're evil and I'm good." It's that "you are a vessel of evil, and I'm a vessel of good, but we fundamentally as beings are neither of those things." It’s never about them as beings, you know? It's always the things that they do as instructed to them by their respective bosses.
C: Yeah, but they also do still- at least, Aziraphale still does fall back into the prescriptive cause and effect getting them mixed up sort of thing. Like, Crowley is being sarcastic when he's like, “Oh, you're an angel. I don't think you can do the wrong thing.” But Aziraphale feels like, “Oh, thank god. You're right.” [both laugh]
G: Also, something I find completely fascinating is, throughout the- obviously, this is important to them, but there are a lot of times in the episode where it is just a job, you know? It's just work. Like, for example, when they were talking about the thing that they had lunch for in Paris a while back that Crowley has to make up for or whatever; Aziraphale has to make up for, they go, “What was that about?" "I don't know. But they had amazing crepes!” [C laughs] And it's like, oh, that's amazing. They don't even remember what they were doing. It literally is just a job.
C: They're just like me reading Gomens fic while in the office.
G: [laughs] Exactly.
C: Yeah. I make a penny, boss makes a dime, that's why I eat crepes on company time, etc. I think this is also where I think- we mentioned the casting a bit earlier, and like, okay, I think they're both great, I do have a small bone to pick, which is that white people weren't invented yet. Why are they white? Just take them away. [G laughs]
G: No, for real though, most people in this episode are white.
C: They didn't have white people yet. Right, first, if humans were made in the image of God and Adam and Eve are Black, but Francis McDormand, who narrates as God, is not. Like, I know that evolution didn't happen in this world because it's only 6,000 years old. But I do like the fact that white people weren't here until later because of white being considered default in the country that has a monopoly on international culture a lot of time and stuff, so I don't know. I wish they weren't white, 'cause I don't think they had white people yet.
And I guess another thing about this scene is that I feel like it starts establishing the differences between book and show Aziraphale in that, you know, Crowley is like, “Oh, wouldn't it be funny if we did the thing we weren't supposed to do?” And Aziraphale’s laughing a bit, and then he goes like, “No! It wouldn't be funny at all!” [G laughs] And I think show Aziraphale’s is just- he's a bit more nervous and like- I don't wanna say ditzy, but kind of [laughs] than book Aziraphale, who seems a lot more assured of himself, even if he is a giant hypocrite lying to himself all the time. And I don't think it's a bad choice, I have fun seeing Michael Sheen do what he does, but sometimes I do wish that Aziraphale was a little more of a badass.
-
C: We have the opening credits. Which, did you skip those, or did you watch them?
G: I watched it. I suppose I didn't understand it the way you did. So go on.
C: Oh, I mean, there's not that much to say. It's just fun art and then details about things that are gonna happen during the season. We get the theme song. What did you think about the theme song?
G: I mean, I'm familiar with it because this is- I was gonna say "spoiler!" but it's not a spoiler [C laughs], you guys already heard it. It's the intro to our podcast.
C: Yes.
G: Our intro music is a variation of the Gomens intro.
C: Yeah, it's a GarageBand redo/remake of the theme song.
G: Yeah.
C: What did you describe as when I first sent it to you from our lovely composer?
G: It sounds very much like something that would come out of Ace Attorney. [C laughs] I thought it was really fun. I love Ace Attorney music. And I love this tremendously.
C: Yeah, yeah, I think it's a very fun time. And someone on Tumblr recently pointed out that it's a waltz, which I think is fun. Sadly our beautiful, wonderful composer also pointed out to me when she was making it, she was like, “I thought it sounded kinda like the BBC Sherlock theme song. So I looked it up, and it is the same composer." So now it is forever tainted for me because of that. But it's still a very fun time.
G: Maybe it's just the British sound, have you considered that? [both laugh]
C: Yeah, it’s still the same guy, though. We can't forget that. Very sad. Oh well.
So we cut to a graveyard where we meet two other demons. Oh, first of all, we cut to a graveyard. It's 11 years ago, so like, 2008. Or, I guess, 2007, because later we find out that Bush is still president. We meet two other demons, Hastur and Ligur. And Hastur and Ligur both- Like, Hastur has- his animal motif is maggots, and he has completely black eyes, and his hair is messed up and stuff, and Ligur has a chameleon on his head. I think they both have fun character designs. I mean, they're talking to each other a bit about how Crowley is late for a meeting with both of them, and that he's changed his name from Crawly to Crowley, and they think that he's spent too much time up on Earth, blah blah blah, and then-
G: I mean, the way he's introduced, in the scene where it's like-
C: [laughs] We hear a car, we hear Bohemian Rhapsody's “mamma mia mamma mia” part blasting, and Crowley just swerves into the graveyard.
G: I love it!
C: And this is such a cute “where are they now” thing. Like, we just saw him and now he's here being a flash bastard! And such a fun little guy. He comes out. He's swaggering. He is doing the David Tennant slut walk, as the girlies like to call it, I think?
G: [laughs] I love it.
C: Which I think is a character choice given that Crowley's original form was a snake, or whatever, and, you know, it's much appreciated. And you know, the demons are all like, “hail Satan, hail Satan.” But then Crowley, who is also a demon, just goes, [both] “Hi guys.” [both laugh]
G: [laughing] It’s so funny!
C: And like, “Sorry I'm late, you know how traffic is on the blah blah blah. And I tried to cut up towards blah,” and it's like, I don't know. It's very, very fun. Immediately establishes he is literally just a guy living on Earth with a few extra powers. They have to recount their deeds of the day. So both Hastur and Ligur have deeds that are very-
G: traditional-
C: - medieval-
G: - deeds, you know. [laughs] Yeah. You can fucking see these kinds of deeds in 1610 Bavaria or whatever. [C laughs] Like, “I tempted a priest.”
C: “He saw hot girl and went awooga.”
G: “There's a politician. And then we made him take a bribe. In a year, we will have him.” And like, it's the same line, “In a year we will have him.” And Crowley is just like, “I fucking destroyed the [both laugh] cell towers around London. So now no one can call each other.”
C: Yeah. God, so good. There's a missing scene which I think was actually originally filmed wherein- or maybe it's just in the script, but it was supposed to show how he did that, and how he did that was that he got into one of the phone company whatever buildings, and then he commandeered an army of rats to wreck all the equipment. [G laughs] And they probably didn't have the CGI budget for it, but I feel cheated and robbed that I didn't get to see him do that.
G: And he was able to do it because he may or may not be from the Year of the Rat. This is so true.
C: So true.
G: I love that when he said this, he was kind of expecting applause or amazement-
C: Oh, yeah.
G: - and the guys were just like, “Okay.” [laughs]
C: Right, like, "What's that supposed to do?"
G: Yeah, he was like, “Oh, it's gonna sow the seeds of chaos, and in many many years, we’ll have many many more souls.”
C: And what he likes about it is that everything- everyone being angry at each other and doing bad things as a result is something that they'll think of themselves rather than something that he had to really strong-arm them into.
G: Influence, yeah.
C: Yeah. It's about preserving free will sort of, but also creating an environment where it is difficult to be a good person. And, I mean, yeah, he is bragging a lot. He's like, “Hey, no one in Hell is complaining about my methods. They love me down there.” [G laughs] What a fun fucking guy. Also, I like that- in the book, he's described as a young man. And in the upcoming graphic novel, he's supposed to look 24. But they cast David Tennant, who's like, 50 in this role. So now he has that “aging rockstar loser dad who's going through a midlife crisis” kind of vibe instead, which is very fun paired with his “attempting to be cool” vibes.
G: Yeah. I also like the idea that now that we are in a more modern age, with more modern technology, evil manifests in more modern ways as well. And I don't know, I really love that concept.
C: Right, like, before, you really did have to go up to priests and whisper in their ear. But you know what? We're good now, just post a really bad take on Tumblr, and three people will yell at their partners today.
G: Anyway, he gets given a little baby in a basket.
C: We don't know it's a baby yet, but he does get given a menacing basket. He is not happy.
G: And I love how in the beginning of the scene, he's like, “Oh, you guys just don't get it. They love me down there,” and then like, when it becomes obvious that he is to start Armageddon, and he is not too amused by the idea, and he's like, “Why me?” [C laughs] And they’re like, “They love you down there,” And then it's revealed later that he's been fucking lying to Hell. [both laugh] That’s why they love him so much. They think he started the Spanish Inquisition and World War II. [laughs] Literally it’s just a job, and he’s just fucking lying to his boss.
C: In the book he doesn’t even lie. He gets sent a medal that's like, “Thank you for starting the Spanish Inquisition” 'cause they assumed he did it [G laughs], and he was like, “What the fuck is that?” And he went over and he saw it, and then he had to get drunk in a gutter for two weeks, 'cause it made him so upset.
G: Noooo!
C: Yeah, he's my favorite little girl. Love him. He goes, “Guys, it’s not really my scene” when he's given the basket, and Hastur says, “It's your scene, your starring role,” which I think is a fun thing to think about when, I don't know, I just like that phrase because I like how both Crowley and Aziraphale’s lives are so much play-acting, which I also think is very queer, but I guess we'll get into that later.
G: Is this the one where he tries to call Crowley, and it's- when he tries to call Aziraphale, and there's no lines 'cause he destroyed the cell phone towers, or is that later?
C: [laughs] Yeah, he can’t call him on the phone. That's later.
G: Yeah. But that's real funny. The callback to that I thought was fucking hilarious.
C: Oh yeah, wait, also, something that I’m so sad that they took out is, they ask him to sign a contract-
G: Oh, they do, yeah.
C: Right, and then he just signs it with a sigil using hellfire from his tongue or whatever. But in the book, at first, he takes out a nice fancy waterproof pen, and he signs the name that he goes by, Anthony J. Crowley, and they go, “No, don't do that. Put down your real name,” and then he has to change it to the demonic sigil, or whatever. Like, they took out that trans moment. And I wanted that trans moment. Give me the trans moment back.
G: For real. And then we meet Jon Hamm, who is so important to me.
C: Oh, well, first Satan calls him in the car.
G: Yeah, but who give a shit, we meet Jon Hamm after! But yeah, Satan calls him in the car.
C: Which establishes that Hell communicates with him through his radio and other things. And in the car it's also when it gets revealed that what’s in the basket is a baby. The whole time when he's in the car, he's yelling, “Shit shit shit shit shit. Why me?” Which I think is- because I'm so used to Supernatural, I was like, “Oh my god, they can swear on this show?” [G laughs] So it was very fun that he didn't have to say “friggin’.” And we also get a God narration moment, where She says, “Crowley was all in favor of Armageddon in general terms. But it was one thing to work to bring it about and quite another for it to actually happen.” Which I think is an interesting insight into his psyche, where we do see him questioning things a lot in the opening scene, but also a lot of the times, he is just vibing and trying not to think too much about his job, and the thing that bothers him more than the Earth ending I feel like is him being directly responsible for it.
G: As you've said earlier, he's not a killer. He doesn't do it directly. He's more of a “I'm going to be a silly, goofy guy, and then if there's stuff that happens because of it, then so it be, so it is.”
C: Yeah.
G: So like, I guess this is kind of out of his league, where he has to directly do things for a concrete goal.
C: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, fun fact about book Crowley is that one of his demonic deeds that he does is he just takes coins and he glues them to the sidewalk, so people bend down to pick them up, and then they can't get them off, and he’s like, “That's my doing evil for the day. I did it.”
G: Love that. Has has the concept of evil of a nine-year-old boy.
C: [laughs] Exactly.
-
C: Okay, we meet Jon Hamm. [G laughs] You can finally say it.
G: We meet Jon Hamm, and he's Gabriel! He's the angel Gabriel.
C: Wait, what do you know Jon Hamm from? I have no clue who this guy is.
G: I just know him fundamentally as a person, you know?
C: You would know him by the- what’s the Song of Achilles line?
G: [laughs] No, exactly. He is my Achilles. Yeah, I just know him.
C: What was he in?
G: Who doesn’t know Jon Hamm?
C: Me! What was he even in besides Good Omens?
G: I think he was in- well, I knew him before this, but he's definitely in an episode of Black Mirror, I think.
C: Oh, okay, I haven't seen that.
G: And then, I think Jon Hamm is just one of those guys who like- do you know Brad Pitt from anywhere? Even if you haven't watched a movie or anything with Brad Pitt in it, you just know who Brad Pitt is, you know.
C: That's true. I've never seen anything with Brad Pitt in it.
C: Yeah, that's fair. I mean, people do act like he’s famous.
G: Yeah. And you know what, fun fact, Crystal knows this, but when I was first being exposed to Good Omens through Crystal means, I looked up Aziraphale and Crowley on YouTube, and what showed up is an interview between David Tennant and Jon Hamm, [laughing] and I thought Jon Hamm was Aziraphale. I love that.
C: How long did you think that Jon Hamm was Aziraphale?
G: I mean, for a second, I was like, “Whoa, is Jon Hamm Aziraphale?” And then I continued scrolling. He's not!
C: Yeah. He is not, thank God.
G: Yeah.
C: I’m so glad Michael Sheen’s in this, I haven’t seen him in anything else but like, thank god.
G: This scene is very, again, telling of how Aziraphale is different from other angels, which, I think we are supposed to presume that angels are more like Gabriel than Aziraphale. But they're in a sushi place, and Aziraphale is talking about how the sushi’s good, and he really likes it, and you can dip it in soy sauce!
C: Yeah, and at this, I saved the Tumblr URL soysauceaziraphale to go with my Supernatural blog URL. I don't think I'm gonna use it, but it's nice to have.
G: It's nice to have, exactly. Anyway, Gabriel doesn't like this. He thinks it's nasty to “soil your temple,” or however he puts it.
C: Yes, sully the temple of my-
G: Your celestial body.
C: -with gross matter, yeah.
G: Yeah. And he relays that the end is near, and things are afoot. You know, I've only heard the word “afoot” used in Sherlock Holmes context.
C: Yeah, same.
G: I am beginning to think that maybe British people just say it.
C: Maybe! Though, I mean, Gabriel's American.
G: [laughs] This is true.
C: It’s very funny.
G: You know, when you put them together in a room, I cannot recognize the difference between an American and a British accent. It also is revealed here that Heaven, and I presume Hell, also thinks that Crowley and Aziraphale-
C: Have never met or talked to each other.
G: - don’t know each other? Yeah, exactly. Which is very fascinating to hear, because I think this knowledge barrier sets a kind of fallibility with the angels and demons, where it's like, they don't know everything, 'cause they don't even know this, and that makes the later happenings with Adam and Warlock a lot more believable. 'Cause, you know, "how did they just not know that the kids were exchanged?" And it's because they're not all-knowing, and they don't see everything. This is a good handicap, in a way, for the angels and the demons where- 'cause I feel like in a lot of media, it's like, "They have all the power!" But here, they are very explicit, "This is the limits of their power. They don't know everything."
C: Yeah. I really like just the way that the angels and demons operate in these opening scenes. Like, in the book, Gabriel doesn't exist, and Heaven never interacts directly with Aziraphale. So it does feel more like a panopticon, “they're probably just always watching, so you'd better watch out” sort of thing. But here, it really is just like, "No, they aren't always watching, but also, they can pop up whenever, so you always do have to be afraid. You always have to have an excuse, or somewhere to hide, but you can also do your own thing." And it is exactly like living in a house with your parents while you're closeted and gay, I think. [laughs]
G: No, for fucking real.
C: Yeah, like, when you don't have a lock on your door, it's like, “Okay, I can be on Tumblr looking at girls kissing, or whatever, when I want. But also I always need to have a homework tab open on another window, and know the laptop keyboard shortcut to get there, and blah blah blah blah." I don't know, I like it. I like it a lot. It's very queer to me. And I also like that with the demons, it was a preset meeting.
G: Yeah.
C: They couldn't do anything about Crowley being late. If he just didn't show up at all, they'd probably track him down. But at least they give you warning. Heaven just popping in whenever feels very much like the NSA's whole like, “well, if you have nothing to hide, then what's wrong with us looking at you whenever we want?” thing.
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G: We go to the plot. And the plot is there's two women giving birth, and one of them is a normal British couple, and the other is a fucking ambassador.
C: Yeah, played by Nick Offerman.
G: American ambassador, yeah, or whatever, American diplomat. Oh my god, I love this scene so much! We enter a convent, and there's a bunch of nuns.
C: Yes. A Satanic convent.
G: Yeah! And they call themselves the Chattering Order. And I was like, “The Chattering Order. That's a funny thing to say.” And then later, when they're arguing with a demon, they're talking and talking and talking, and the demon’s like, “Stop talking. You're so annoying,” and they're like, “We’re the Chattering Order. All we do is talk.” [laughs] And I love that so much, I think that this is such a fun concept, that they have evil evil nuns.
C: And I think in the book they make up a saint who prayed to not have to marry a pagan, so then God or someone- Satan or someone?- gave her powers, so that she could never stop talking, and it annoyed her husband so much that they never had to consummate the marriage, or something. Which feels - from two men - sort of feels like a “Women, am I right?” kind of joke?
G: [laughs] Yeah.
C: But it is still kind of fun to see in motion.
G: We figure out that this is where the baby swap is gonna happen. And it's, you know, it's a whole thing. They're planning it out. A couple of things go wrong. Stuff gets mixed up. And suddenly- well, the Satanic baby is supposed to go to the rich couple, but it ends up on the hands of the other couple. But nobody knows that this went wrong. Everybody just assumes that everybody did the right thing, and nobody double checks with anyone.
C: Specifically, yeah, where the wrong really happens- well, first, Crowley meets Mr. Young, who's the normal British guy outside, and he directs Crowley to Room 3 for the baby. So that's where the baby gets taken. And then a nun who knows that the baby is with the wrong person comes in, asks the other nun nonverbally, “Okay, like, where's the real baby? So I can take the real Antichrist to the American couple?”
G: The other room. Yeah.
C: Yeah, but that nun misunderstands and thinks that the extraneous baby is the one that is to be pointed out. And fun book fact is that in the book, Mr. Young is homophobic and he’s nervous about being in the nunnery because he's like, “I recently watched a movie where the nuns were lesbians, and I'm worried that the nuns here are icky lesbians also.” And then, when he sees the nonverbal communication that ends in a wink, he goes, “Oh, god, they are lesbians.”
G: [laughs] Jesus Christ.
C: And I think this is just- you know how I complained for weeks and weeks on Peach about how the book is just obsessed with making gay jokes while also not letting a single character actually be gay? So yeah, there's an example of that.
I don't even know what they were going with. Was it just like a, we want to satirize people having a pink scare moment or whatever by being like, "Everyone thinks everyone is gay for certain behaviors, but it's not"? But if you do it in a way that's like, “You're being silly, 'cause there's no gay people anywhere anyway,” [laughs] like, shut up?
G: Yeah.
C: Shut the fuck up! Anyway. So yeah, that's that scene. And I don't know, there's some fun moments where the God narrator is trying to explain how the swap happened through playing cards. And then at some point one of the nuns runs into Room 2, and it turns out that the visual of the cards being shuffled that we saw was actually just two nuns chilling and playing cards by themselves in that room. Like, I don't know, some fun visual gags. And it ends with the nuns wheeling out the third baby, the Dowling's biological baby while menacing music plays, and there's a narration about how, “Oh, if you want, you can believe that he got adopted by a perfectly nice family, and he probably wins awards for his tropical fish. But, you know.” But in the book, actually, that does happen, and this third baby grows up to be named Greasy Johnson, and he is one of Adam's rivals in the village, like, he has a rival gang to the Them. But this does not manifest in the show, which is sad, 'cause that was fun. Oh, also, the nuns are trying to suggest names to both of the parents.
G: [laughs] Yeah!
C: 'Cause they’re like, “We want a good Antichrist name,” and both of them are like, “Hey, how about Damian?” [both laugh] And, god, okay, Harriet Dowling- I know this happened because- okay, the thing with Harriet Dowling and the American ambassador is that he's not there for the birth because he's with the President, he's with President Bush right now, and he's just watching everything on video camera and being a neglectful husband or whatever. So she gets the baby. And she's like, “Well, we were gonna name him Thaddeus after my husband, and also his dad, and his dad before that. But like, oh, you want me to name him Warlock? Yeah, sure, let's do that.” [both laugh] I feel like, this is- who the fuck would willingly name their kid Warlock? But I think it's because she's mad at her husband. And you know what, slay. That kid got the coolest name out of anyone.
G: That kid grew up, and everybody he interacted with thought he was transgender. [both laugh]
C: God, for fucking real. Good for him.
G: Yeah. Good for him.
C: And meanwhile, Mr. Young gets convinced to name the Antichrist Adam.
G: Adam, which is a good, cool name. I like the name Adam. Is Damian supposed to be because it sounds like “demon”?
C: Yeah, I think that is maybe the origin of the name. Let me look up “Damian name origin.” [typing] Okay, yeah it sounds like "demon," but apparently it means “to subdue.” So like, that makes sense for a future ruler of a broken world, or whatever.
G: Yeah. Anyway, Crowley and Aziraphale meet. They meet in St James’s Park, and there's this-
C: Well, first we see Aziraphale in his book shop, which is important to me.
G: Okay, I supposed this is important because you mentioned it a lot in your synopsis of Season 2 that I may or may not have listened to fully.
C: I mean, we'll see the bookshop later, but-
G: Yeah, they kiss here.
C: Yeah, they sure do.
G: [laughs] Quote unquote.
C: One of them kisses the other one, and whether the other one is also kissing the other one is up for debate. I've been swayed to the “they are both kissing each other” side a little bit more recently. But anyway. So yeah, we see a moment of Aziraphale in his bookshop, and he's just being so cute. He has a vinyl of classical music on, and he's sort of moving/singing to the beat as he puts his jacket up on a hook, and we get a good look at his waistcoat, which is tatty and old, that he wears everywhere all the time, which is so autism of him. Love that for him.
G: I like that they, a lot more than Crowley, they make Aziraphale very into like, pleasure, you know? He likes food, he likes very nice champagne, you know, all that stuff. Because I suppose the stereotypical thing to do is to give those traits to the demon, the hedonistic traits to the demon, but he has this appreciation for these things. And I like that. I think that's a very cool trait to have, to give an angel.
C: I agree. I wonder if it's just like, if inspiring lust and sloth and stuff is already part of your job, maybe it's not fun anymore by yourself. [laughs] I mean, I think Crowley has his own ways of indulging, like his silly vintage car, and his clothes that he updates every year or whatever. But yeah, he doesn’t really indulge in the pleasures of the flesh a lot, it's more just like a “how do I look cool and seem cool.”
That's when Crowley finally is able to call Aziraphale, he's unable to do it over the phone line, so he ends up in a phone booth, which I love. And they have a brief conversation where- well, Gabriel specifically told Aziraphale, "Crowley is the one who's starting Armageddon, by the way," and they have a conversation where Aziraphale is like, “Yeah, we do have to talk.” Well, okay. First, he starts by saying, “We're closed,” which is, I mean, a fun Aziraphale trait is that he owns a bookshop, but he hates selling his books, 'cause he likes all of them, so he does everything he can to dissuade customers from buying any.
G: [laughs] That's so real of him.
C: So this is the beginning of that. Yeah. Okay. But yeah, they have a conversation where it's just like, “We should talk. Yeah, this is about Armageddon." "Yeah, I agree, we should talk.” And I like that- Crowley does the job first 'cause he has to, or else he gets tortured or whatever the fuck, right? So he doesn't try to not give the baby away. It's just like, “Okay, I've complied with my part. And now let me do my own thing to make it not work.” And I also like that Aziraphale's never called Crowley and tried to stop him from setting the first piece into motion. Both of them are aware of, like, “Okay, there are limits to what we can do independently. But here we are. Let's talk.”
G: They’re in St James’s Park. And the narrator does this pretty funny bit where it's like, “Yeah, everybody who meets here is meeting in secret in some way, and the ducks have a Pavlovian response to FBI agents now [laughs] when one comes in just to starts quacking for bread." I love that.
C: Also we get a good look at Crowley’s full outfit. And did you notice that his belt is a snake ouroboros thing?
G: No, but that’s pretty cool.
C: Yeah, I can send you the picture given that you obviously care so much about everything. [G laughs]
G: Also, we learn here that this is their usual meeting place. They've done this a lot, and that this is the first mention of the Apocalypse being 11 years in the making.
Oh that’s pretty cool! I would love a belt like that.
C: Yeah, I love the costumes in this show, it’s so fun. I love Crowley's layers, he looks so fucking transgender right now. He has a gray shirt on, and then a black waistcoat on, and then a black blazer on over that, I don't know. That's pretty much identical to the outfit that I wanted to do for prom one year.
G: Okay. Why does Crowley not want the Apocalypse to happen?
C: Well, I mean, what we get from the God narration earlier is just that he doesn't want to do it directly, but I think he seems to have a love for humanity. He's clearly gone native or whatever, right? He talks like someone who complains about the traffic with other people, you know? And we don't actually meet any human friends of his here or really in the book, but I feel like he does have like-
G: I think it really is less about liking humanity for other humans. It's like, he likes to be this way. He likes being here on Earth, you know. And if the Apocalypse is to happen, then all of these things are just gone. And I think it's fascinating, because even though this is not explicitly said about him, the way he approaches Aziraphale, it’s the same concept. He thinks it's gonna work on Aziraphale, 'cause it probably is his thought process as well. To Aziraphale it's like, “Oh, they don't have liquor in heaven. They don't-” And then he also mentions eternity, which I thought was fascinating. They both don't like the idea of everything being endless.
C: Yeah. I mean, I feel like his approach for Aziraphale is Aziraphale-tailored rather than necessarily something that he thinks himself, that he's just trying on Aziraphale. He is just listing things that Aziraphale likes. But yeah, I do think just liking being on Earth is a primary thing. Also, can we talk a bit about how they're sitting on the bench?
G: [laughs] Okay.
C: The thing is, they are sitting on the farthest possible edges of the bench from each other in that if you look at where their butts are [laughs], they’re on opposite ends. But because of Crowley's posture, he's leaning all the way-
G: Taking up half the bench, yeah.
C: Yeah, taking up half the bench and leaning all the way towards Aziraphale so that his elbow is just on the brink of brushing Azeraphel's shoulder as he talks to him, and I don't know. It's a fun visual representation of “we have to stay rooted to our sides. But I am going to make my way over to you in the ways that I can.”
G: Aww, that's nice.
C: Yeah, yeah. They make me craaazy. [laughs] And the fact that Aziraphale’s just sitting there with his hands in his lap, like, “I can't do anything.”
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G: They go to the fucking bookshop, and this is where the conversation happens.
C: They go to the Ritz- well, they're walking to the car and have that conversation. Then they go to the Ritz, and then they go to the bookshop to get drunk, but yeah. I think a fun- they have a conversation, and, you know, Crowley is doing the tempting thing to try to get Aziraphale to help him out. Well, okay, first we get Aziraphale bitchy moment where he's like, “Seriously? You're giving him to an American diplomat? That's so Hollywood blockbuster.” [G laughs]
G: Yeah.
C: [laughs] Which, I don't know. I just love when people complain about trivial things instead of facing things head on, because they're bitches, because like, same, bro. And he also starts by being like, “Oh, it's gonna be fine, though, cause Heaven’s gonna win, obviously. And it's all gonna be great.” And I don't think he believes any of that, but it is just interesting how he feels the need to play this role.
G: This advocate, yeah.
C: I don't know if he’s in denial, or if he's just like, “Well, this is the company line, and I'm used to just saying it.” But yeah, I don't know. It's just the way that they talk to each other, Aziraphale never, ever says what he means, and Crowley never says directly what he means, but because both of them are aware of how much their hands are tied, they still understand each other most of the time, which I think is very nice. And they're both just playing their roles so well. Crowley is just doing the snake tempting Eve thing to Aziraphale because that's just what they're used to, and that works, eventually. So yeah.
Also, as they head out at the park, there is a traffic warden trying to write a ticket for the Bentley because of how it's parked, and then, as the two of them drive away, the ticket book in his hands explodes. And in the book, it is specified that Aziraphale was the one who did that, in the show they do not say who did it, which makes me sad.
You know, Aziraphale keeps saying no, and Crowley is eventually like, “Okay, let's just have lunch as a social thing, then. I prommy I won’t mention this again.”
G: [laughs] “Yeah, it’s purely social.” Yeah. And then they go to drink, and this is where the Sound of Music-
C: Oh, well, [laughing] they still go to the Ritz first- it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I just think that the-
G: And then they go to the Ritz, and they just go, “You know what I want to do, I want to get drunk.” And that’s all that happens in the scene.
C: No, but it's like, the way that they’re sitting! [laughing] Sorry.
G: The way that what?
C: Crowley isn't eating, like, he doesn't even have a plate in front of him. He has a cup of coffee, and what he's doing is he's sitting, and he's leaning forward with his fucking fist in his mouth just watching Aziraphale eat and make “mmm” sounds. Like, [laughs] it's crazy horny, in my opinion. [G laughs] But I mean, clearly you did not get any particular impression from it. I- does this screenshot not arouse any particular feelings in you?
G: Absolutely not. [C laughs] This is how I eat with all of my friends.
C: Okay, well, I think that they want to fuck so bad it's unreal. [G laughs] Okay. But yeah, you're right. Finally, they're in the bookshop and they're getting drunk, fine, we can finally get to that scene.
G: I mean, I don't really have much to say about this. It's just, they're drunk, and they're talking in a drunken way about how, “Oh, you know-”
C: “The gorillas are gonna die, and they're all so innocent.”
G: This is where- I don't know if I mentioned in this recording, or I mentioned it to you off the recording. But I thought the Sound of Music bit was so fucking funny. Basically, Crowley just says, “Oh, maybe in Heaven, you'll climb every mountain over and over again, 'cause you're gonna be there for eternity,” and he goes like, “You know what, I heard God really likes Sound of Music." And Aziraphale looks mortified by this.
C: Right, when he goes, “There's not gonna be any Steven Sondheim in Heaven,” he holds up Into the Woods, which I haven't listened to, but it's always fun to get a taste of Aziraphale’s music taste.
G: I don't know if this is- if it happens here or in the bench, but he also talks about how none of the good composers are in Heaven. [laughs]
C: Yeah, that’s on the bench.
G: Like, “The Bachs are in Hell. Mozart's in Hell,” etc. And Aziraphale goes, “Yeah, but they already made their music, so we can just use the music in Heaven.” [both laugh] Which is funny as hell.
C: Yeah, yeah. The Sound of Music thing I think is so interesting 'cause- okay, I can totally buy God liking Sound of Music. But I don't get why the other angels-
G: Why does Aziraphale not like it?
C: Well, okay, yeah, first, I do feel offended that Aziraphale doesn't like The Sound of Music 'cause that musical was my entire childhood. Like, the movie with Julie Andrews taught me what love was-
G: Exactly.
C: - and I still think that that dancing scene is what invented sexual tension in our modern age. But yeah, okay, first off, what’s wrong with The Sound of Music?
G: I know, exactly!
C: I think the music in it is good! What's wrong with it? It’s fine. It’s a good fucking time. They even yodel. And secondly, why would Heaven like The Sound of Music? It's literally about a woman running away from the nunnery to fuck a DILF. I don't get it. I get what God would, cause God is a funny little girl, but like, I don't get it.
For example, the only thing that's made me similarly confused is in Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit when it's revealed one of the books that Jeanette's mom reads her all the time is Jane Eyre. And I'm like, "Why would she do that? It's about bigamy, and all that shit." And then it's revealed later in the book that Jeanette has been receiving- every time her mom has read it to her, her mom has edited the ending so that Jane actually marries St. John and joins him to colonize India via being a missionary, and that's why she received it so much, because she didn't receive the real version. But I don't think Sound of Music is being edited up there. So why is this the Heaven musical?
G: Yeah, maybe there's a Ghostfacers effect in Heaven, [C laughs] and they censor the ending as well.
C: Yeah, yeah. She never gets to fuck that DILF, not once.
G: So sad.
C: It is saur sad.
G: There's this scene where they're like, “Oh, we're too drunk for this. Let's sober up.” It's so disgusting! [both laugh]
C: Yeah, they fucking shit out the wine, basically.
G: It's so disgusting!
C: They both make constipated faces, and it fills back up.
G: Yeah, the wine bottle fills back up. It may be the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
C: Okay, I think, a little bit earlier, before they enter the bookshop [laughs] there is a scene that I want to mention, where Crowley's still trying to convince Aziraphale.
G: Is it the one with the “Get behind me, you fiend!”? [both laugh] That is my best line. I wrote it as my best line.
C: Really? I was gonna-
G: Yeah, I loved it!
C: Okay, so what happens is Aziraphale’s like, “Crowley, I'm not helping you. I'm not interested. This is purely social. I am an angel, you are a demon. We're hereditary enemies. Get thee behind me, foul fiend.”
G: And then he goes, “After you.” [laughs] And I think it’s so funny!
C: And okay, the thing about that line. It annoys me because it's clearly a line for the trailer. You know what I mean?
G: Agh, okay.
C: Some lines in some things are clearly just for the trailer. They don't make that much sense in canon. Like, it's just a sound bite for the trailer, and it is in the trailer.
G: I thought it was funny! I thought it was funny!
C: It is funny, isolated, which is why it's such a good line for the trailer. But okay. So it did annoy me a bit. However, I also do- if I just take it as part of canon and say that "Okay, sure, he would say that," it's like, I feel like it is the perfect encapsulation of how much they are just play-acting their roles right now, like, he's just saying that to be camp. [both laugh] Like, it means nothing.
I love the ways that they communicate through layers, and then peel back the layers. Good for them.
G: Yeah.
C: Also, Crowley takes his sunglasses off while they're getting drunk, but only after they're partly drunk, which is quite different from, in Season 2, he just takes the sunglasses off whenever he's alone with Aziraphale and not in public. I don't know. I think it's nice that currently, he's at a point where he doesn't fully feel comfortable showing Aziraphale his eyes all the time. But eventually, he does grow to do that.
Oh, also! Everyone- the drunk scene in the bookshop is my favorite scene in the book, and they cut out a bunch of it and you should- we will reblog the audio of David Tennant doing a live reading of that section of the book. It's 10 minutes long, but it's worth it, and I listen to it daily. [G laughs] So go check that out on bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com.
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G: Anyway, they do a scene after where the nunnery burns down, etc etc. And really, the whole point of that is to just erase all possible ways that they could know that the babies were switched incorrectly.
C: Yep.
G: Aziraphale and Crowley talk more solidly now, more soberly, about what they might do to thwart the evil wiles of the- and this is another line that I loved so much.
C: Oh, yeah, “You see a wile, you thwart.” [both laugh] It’s so funny!
G: Literally you see a wile, you thwart.
C: It's so funny. He's such a silly little guy. Yeah. Basically, Crowley is able to reframe Aziraphale helping him stop the Apocalypse as Aziraphale going against Hell, which is part of his job description. So therefore, "It's fine, you wouldn't be going against orders if you did this."
G: And the way they do it, right, he is very adamant that, even when he goes to Heaven to report what's happening, Heaven doesn't necessarily reprimand him or tell him to stop doing it, because Crowley’s right, like, this is, in a way, part of the job description. But Heaven is still very vocal that, like, “Yeah, it’s not gonna work.”
C: “Yeah, it's nice that you're doing this. But eh.”
G: “But it's not happening.”
C: Yeah. Also, specifically, their plan is that both Aziraphale and Crowley will be involved in the upbringing of the Antichrist, who they think is Warlock, and Crowley thinks that it's fully nurture and not nature. Apparently, part of his job from Hell was to provide evil influence over the baby, and get him ready to take over the world. So Aziraphale’s just supposed to be there to teach him to be nice as well.
G: Yeah.
C: Yeah, which very cute. Yeah, again, I like that this is all a plan that doesn't require either of them to go outside of their job descriptions. It's not like both of them are there telling the kid to be nice beccause if Hell found out about that, Crowley would be tortured, and whatever. It's very malicious compliance.
G: They’re quiet quitting. [laughs] God, what a stupid fucking- Anyway, Aziraphale comes in as a gardener.
C: Yeah. He looks like shit.
G: Yeah. And Crowley comes in as a nun!
C: Well, as a nanny.
G: And he may or may not look like the hottest person I've ever seen. Oh yeah, nanny! [laughs] I just said nun. Comes in as a nanny, hottest person I’ve ever seen, quite possibly ever. And they just do this thing where every time Warlock goes to the garden, Aziraphale is like. “Oh, you should take care of all the creatures, and you should never kill or hurt them, and should never destroy Earth as we know it.” And he comes in, and Crowley's there, and he's like, “The gardener told me that I shouldn't hurt creatures,” and Crowley is like, “Well you should!” And there's a lullaby scene where he sings a lullaby to the kid.
C: Yeah. Also, David Tennant gets to use his Scottish accent as the nanny. Thank god. It's criminal that they're making him be British, and they're making Michael Sheen, a Welsh actor, be British also in this show.
G: Sad.
C: Sad. I’ve seen some people see Crowley as the nanny as transphobic, and I think the reasoning there is, first, that Brother Francis is supposed to be comical, like, Aziraphale is supposed to look like shit, and his voice is supposed to be stupid, or whatever, right? So it seems that paired with Crowley showing up as a nanny, and being played by David Tennant but dressing in woman's clothes and presenting as a woman in this specific scene, it's like, is it supposed to be tonally similar, where we're like, “Oh, that's funny”? And I did not think that or feel that, but I think some people could, and it is hard to tell what exactly was intended, or what exactly gets portrayed, just because that's not something I felt, but I feel like some people could be like, “Oh, him in that dress is funny.” And then I think another thing is that, maybe less so in the book, or sorry, less so in the show, but in the book, there's a pretty long passage about how like, this nanny shows up, and she has dominatrix vibes, and everyone who sees her is kinda like, “Huh! I mean, what has she got going on there,” which feels like it is playing into transmisogynistic tropes of trans women being oversexualized and only being seen as sex workers, or things like that. So like, I can definitely see that perspective. And I feel like there probably was a way to change the presentation of the scene so that it is less playing into things like that. But yeah, I don't know. And another thing is like, there's been the argument that Crowley is nonbinary in that, there are later scenes where they're presenting as a woman in a way that's not for the sake of a job or something, so sometimes it's something that he likes to do or whatever. But I think that because we see that, in this time period, like, when she's reporting to Hell or whatever, they're in their more masculine-presenting form, so in this case, it isn't just a honest representation of their gender identity at this time, at least, is the vibe that I'm getting. So I feel like that reason why it can't be transphobic doesn't really hold up here.
G: With media this recent, I tend to have the perspective of giving it the benefit of the doubt, because, you know, most of the time, the older the media is, the more probable the concept of it being explicitly transphobic from the writers’ perspective is, but the more recent it is, I am to believe that the writer is more aware of issues like this, blah blah blah. But I get where the perspective comes from.
C: Yeah. Also, this is from “trans in the sense that I've seen on Tumblr” Neil Gaiman. [laughs]
G: Yeah, I know.
C: In that, yeah, I just don't think he knows that much about trans people, or understands things very well, so I feel like it is easier for him to be sloppy.
G: Yeah, it's shocking to me how much people don't know about stuff like these. So yeah.
C: Yeah.
-
G: Anyway, they're trying to get the kid to grow up good on Aziraphale's side and evil on Crowley's side.
C: To cancel out to be completely neutral.
G: Yeah, they’re PEMDASing this kid.
C: [laughs] Yeah. When they leave Warlock at the end, that kid’s gonna grow up fucked up. Like, things don’t cancel out like that. [both laugh] Like, he's been growing up with lullabies about how he's gonna take over the world and kill everyone, and then he's being told to not kill everyone, that doesn't equate to “Guess I shouldn't think about killing in any direction!” [laughs] Good luck to this kid who everyone's gonna think is trans, and has the best name and also the worst upbringing.
G: And also, I find it fascinating that this kid that they tried to neutralize as much as possible, we see him in his eleventh birthday party, and he seems kind of dickish.
C: [laughs] Yeah, he's kind of a dick.
G: And then we see the the actual spawn of Satan who grew up without all these influences in what we can presume is a normal British household, and he seems to be a nice kid, you know. We don't see much of him, but he has friends, his friends seem to like him, you know, all that crap. So I think maybe if you tried to look into it, there is the perspective of "Adam seemed to have both his parents around and they seem to be nice people," and then, you have Warlock, who grew up in a household where-
C: His dad sucked and was never around, yeah.
G: Yeah. They're very rich people, and his parents, his dad specifically, may or may not have been present, and all that crap. And it's like, maybe there's something to gain from that perspective. Like, maybe all these things that Crowley and Aziraphale did really doesn't matter [laughs], you know?
C: I mean, it doesn't.
G: Yeah, exactly. It's not the question of nature versus nurture. It's more of what is the nurture that is happening? And like, maybe Aziraphale and Crowley severely underestimated the other factors in the nurture category, you know?
C: Yeah. I mean, how often does the kid- does any child talk to the gardener? Like, truly, what an odd role.
G: He had one conversation with a gardener who told him not to kill a slug [C laughs] and for some reason this is gonna change his entire trajectory of his life forever.
C: For real.
G: Anyway, they go to Heaven and Crowley goes to Hell. It's a whole thing.
C: Yeah, the set design is very fun.
G: Yeah! Oh yeah! I said we would talk about it.
C: Yeah, you wanted to talk about that.
G: Hell is presented as kind of an underground seedy club kind of situation.
C: Though, I mean, there’s no fun music, it’s like a club where the DJ didn’t show up.
G: I don't know, they're just there. They're talking. It's dimly lit, versus Heaven, which is-
C: Corporate.
G: A very, very, very lit-up corporate establishment.
C: Yeah, I love that there's windows, but there's nothing out of them except for blinding white light.
G: [laughs] Yeah, I love that.
C: The illusion of freedom, or there being a world outside, but there isn't.
G: Yeah. I think it's fascinating that they present it this way, 'cause, I mean in Supernatural, they do kind of present it this way, you know. In other media, I would presume that Heaven is kind of like a Garden of Eden kind of situation-
C: Right.
G: - where it's like nature and beauty, and natural beauty whatever, and Hell is hellfire. How is it presented in the books? It’s like this?
C: They... I don't think they ever go to Heaven, except for a bit later.
G: You know what? I think Neil Gaiman may or may not have watched Supernatural and thought, "That’s cool."
C: No, actually, he hasn't. This is something he's answered on his Tumblr. A lot of people have been like, “Oh, I've seen a lot of similarities, haha. Are you a Supernatural fan?” And each time he's gone, “No, but Eric Kripke is a Good Omens fan.” [G laughs] He's never seen Supernatural. But Eric Kripke is a Good Omens fan.
G: So the implication is that the similarities are Supernatural taking from Good Omens?
C: Well, yeah. Good Omens was published in 1990.
G: God, that’s funny as hell.
C: It's an old-
G: I know. But that’s why I'm asking, did the book present Heaven and Hell this way? Because, if not, maybe it was a Supernatural-inspired thing.
C: It's possible that the set designers are-
G: Were Supernatural fans?
C: Yeah, that is possible.
G: There was the one with an angel sigil, right?
C: 'Cause wasn't there an angel sigil in Season 2 that was- okay, but that was just because it was the Enochian alphabet that’s in general created by somebody else.
G: Yeah. But I think maybe they just looked up “angel sigil” and saw a Supernatural angel sigil and went with that.
C: Perhaps. I feel like the idea of Heaven being corporate is a pretty logical conclusion to draw from the way it’s presented with all it’s rules and regulations and stuff. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe a set designer was a Supernatural fan, but I don't think so.
G: Well, I do think so! [C laughs]
C: The Hell scene, we get to meet Beelzebub, who's the Lord of the Flies.
G: Hell yeah! And it's funny because later, they do a thing where the other guy that's calling Crowley is the Lord of the Files. [laughs] And I thought that was just funny as hell.
C: Yes, Dagon, Lord of the Files. That is a pretty funny thing. The thing about Beelzebub is that back in 2019 or something, right, someone asked Neil on Tumblr, “Hey, what are Beelzebub’s pronouns?”
G: Why is he constantly on Tumblr? Get the fuck off that website, bro.
C: He’s just- I mean, we should also ask why I have read so many of his asks, and whether this parasocial hate relationship is healthy. [G laughs] But yeah, the real question is, why is he always on Tumblr answering those damn asks, instead of doing something of substance? But yeah, anyway. And he said, “zzzzir,” like z-i-r but with a lot of z’s, and it's just a joke about how Beelzebub has flies, enunciates “zzz” sounds in zir name. Later, at various conventions and things, like, people, the actors, Neil himself, are using she/her pronouns for Beelzebub, right, and then finally, we get to Season 2, and it's the first time Beelzebub gets referred to with a pronoun, and the pronoun used is they. I just, if you're gonna make a stupid joke about neopronouns and then, like- okay, fucking follow through, bro.
G: Yeah.
C: That's what I think. Even in the world of fiction podcasts, where nonbinary characters aren't super missing the way that they are in other media, I feel like I still haven't met a character who uses neos, and like-
G: And the thing is, even if this was true, I think there could be a way where you could incorporate this into the show without it- like, it can be a joke, but still a sincere thing, you know what I mean?
C: Yeah, I get what you mean.
G: There could be a way to walk that tightrope. So it's not impossible to do.
C: Yeah. I agree. But Neil Gaiman did not do it, yeah.
G: Didn’t even attempt to walk it.
C: Yeah, yeah. It was nice for a while to be able to read fanfictions where ze pronouns were used for a semi-major character pretty regularly, even if it arose from a dumb joke. But yeah, he didn't even try. He didn't even try. He was just like, “Well, close enough, right? All the nonbinaries are the same, right?” And then he just slapped a they/them on Beezlebub after the she/her-ing at cons and stuff. And yeah, I don't know. It's a shitty thing to do, I'm annoyed about it. I don't know. I think that usually when I'm talking to my friends about the show I use the ze pronouns for Beelzebub out of spite. I think I'm not certain what I'm gonna do in the podcast, but we'll see.
Oh, right, funny moment during the Hell thing, Crowley is like, “Oh, yeah, he's growing up to be so evil. It's great.” And then Ligur immediately goes [both] “Has he killed anyone yet?” [both laughing]
G: And he’s like, “[both] No. You know, baby steps.” [laughs]
C: Yup, yup. It’s very funny.
G: What’s the specific thing he said he was doing?
C: It was like, “He's remarkable, and he's super evil,” and later he's like, “But there's more to evil than just killing people, right?” [G laughs] And everyone just stares at him like he's a weirdo.
Also, Crowley's hair this whole time has been long, which I really appreciate. Once we get to the present present day, he chops it off, and it's like, the most miserable thing that's ever happened to my eyes. But currently, it's long, and he has it half up. What's the name of that style where you take the front part that’s in front of your ears, and you tie it back behind you in a ponytail, but the rest of your hair is down?
G: Oh, it's like a half pony.
C: Yeah, yeah. That's his hair right now, and it's great. I wish he never changed it.
G: I was actually severely disappointed when-
C: The chop happened?
G: -when we cut to the present and the hair is chopped.
C: I know! I know!
G: 'Cause I assumed- 'cause, you know, he has long hair pretty much this entire episode, and I just assume that Season 1, this is the hair, and in Season 2 it’s gonna be short-
C: God, I wish.
G: - but it’s not, and it made me sad.
C: Yeah, this is the worst act of transphobia Neil Gaiman has ever committed.
G: Yeah.
C: Ugh, god, that's not true. [G laughs] I saw some parts of his earlier comics, and he had a comic where there was a serial killer convention, and one of them talked about how his favorite type of person to kill was pre-op trans women. Like, what the fuck was that about? Anyway. So.
Meanwhile in Heaven, as you've already mentioned before, Aziraphale is- he's basically in the giving a Powerpoint presentation stance, except there's no Powerpoint presentation, which I think is adorbs. And he's like, “You know, I really think the Antichrist is being influenced towards the light,” and Heaven's just like, “Okay, cool. But you're gonna fail. So it's nice that you're trying, but whatever.” And also one of the angels, I think Michael, says, “Wars are meant to be won, not avoided.”
G: While they're saying goodbye, one of the angels goes-
C: Yeah, Gabriel goes-
G: “Climb every mountain.”
C: “As the Almighty likes to say, climb every mountain!”
G: “Climb every mountain.” And the thing is, it's both a reference to- you can say that it's not a reference to The Sound of Music, but it can be a reference to when Crowley was like, “You can climb every mountain over and over again," so you can already see that Aziraphale’s face falls a little bit, and he's like, “Uh oh!” and the next line is an angel going-
C: And then Sandalphon comes in, yeah.
G: And- what was it? “Ford every stream.”
C: Yup. Yup.
G: And I just about fucking lost it, like, I started scream-laughing by myself.
C: It’s a pretty good time.
G: After this scene, Aziraphale kind of starts becoming a lot more nervous. Crowley and him have this conversation, “What if we fail? What happens?” And then Crowley’s like, “Well, I guess-”
C: “It’s joever. It’s crover.”
G: It's joever. And you can see in Aziraphale’s face, he’s worried, he’s worried sick. And [laughing] it’s so funny to think that the thing that made him this worried about the end [C laughs] is that the fucking angels are referencing Sound of Music. He fucking hates that show so much it’s unreal.
C: Right. Also, I think a fun costume design thing with the angels is- first they're all in these severe gray suits, except Sandalphon, who's in a tan suit, but they all have gold accents on their face. Like, Uriel has a lot of gold makeup on their face, and they look really great, and then Sandalphon, when he says “Ford every stream,” you see that he has a gold tooth. So, I don't know. Fun stuff!
G: What's Aziraphale’s gold accent?
C: He does not have one as far as we're aware, but he does wear a gold ring that I think is supposed to be Heaven-affiliated. So, I don't know. It'd be nice if that was- I don't know if he has a gold mark that he's covering, or- I think Neil Gaiman has referred to the marks as like, more of a fashion thing than part of the actual angelic form.
G: I love that.
C: So it's just Aziraphale's that loser who isn't trendy right now, because everyone else has their gold shit on.
G: Anyway. We go to six days before the end of the world.
C: Yurp.
G: Back in Hell, these two demons are checking on a hellhound. [laughs] And it's just a giant dog that they keep in a room, and they were like, “You think it's like, beastly enough?” And they send in some guy, I don't know, just a soul there, or a demon or whatever, and they send him inside, and they're like, “Watch out for the teeth!” And the, you know, the beast ravages this poor guy, and they were like, “Well, we did tell him that, you know, to watch out for the teeth. If he didn’t do it, it's not our fault.”
C: Yeah, that is a pretty funny line.
G: God, they’re kinda horrible, I love that.
C: Yeah, I will say, though, I feel like this is fine as a one off, but okay, the demon who gets sent in, his name is Eric the disposable demon, and there's a bunch of forms of him, and he pops up a lot throughout the show, and he is mostly just there to get comically killed.
G: [laughs] Okay. Does it get tiresome at some point?
C: It’s less that it gets tiresome than like, I feel like Good Omens is like, “We did race-blind casting, and that makes us cool.” But I feel like sometimes you should maybe consider who putting in what roles regarding race.
G: Ah, yeah, yeah.
C: Because Eric is played by a Black man. And yeah, as you mentioned, most of the people on the show are white. So yeah. I feel like we'll get into race and casting more when we get to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I feel like that's an- yeah. I don't know.
-
G: There’s Crowley and Aziraphale are seated on a bench, watching Warlock and his mom.
C: Yeah, and they’re actually sitting closer to each other this time.
G: Yeah! They’re meeting in the middle. And there's this bit where Crowley is like, “Oh, yeah, I mean, there's gonna be a hellhound at 3 on Wednesday.” [laughs] And Aziraphale is like, “There's gonna be a what? Like, this has never been mentioned to me before.” And Crowley’s just like, “Oh, yeah, there's gonna be a hellhound, and it's going to start the- it's going to mark the beginning of Armageddon when he names the dog.”
C: Yeah. In the book, Crowley didn't know about it until the day before, 'cause Hell just called him about it. But it is funny how in the show it's just like, “Oh, yeah, I knew the whole time. I just forgor.”
G: Also, he tells Aziraphale that like- well, he suggests at first, [C laughs] and Aziraphale doesn't get it. But eventually he does tell the angel that like, “Maybe you should just kill the guy. [both laugh] Maybe you should just kill the kid.” And, you know, Aziraphale is against this, cause he's never killed anyone or anything, really.
C: Yeah. But he never suggests that Crowley do it, which I think is nice. During this scene we get the first time that Crowley calls Aziraphale “angel.” 'Cause Aziraphale’s-
G: I thought- I mean, that is his creature name. But yeah, it's sweet. It's sweet.
C: Yeah. It is very sweet. I feel like sometimes it comes off as more about talking about his species, and sometimes it comes off as just a cute little nickname. And okay, so the specific thing about the hellhound is once the kid names the hellhound, it gives the hellhound its purpose, and then that's when Armageddon starts. And if Crowley and Aziraphale were able to balance out influences correctly, then the kid will see the hellhound, not feel drawn to it, and then send it away without a name, and then Armageddon can't start. So like, that's the mechanics of it. It's supposed to come during his eleventh birthday party, so both of them decide that they have to spy on the party, and Aziraphale starts getting really excited about the possibility of being a magician at the party.
G: Yeah. And he does this thing where he takes out the coin, and it falls on the floor [C laughs] and he’s like, “Wait, wait! Wait, wait!” and then he puts his hand behind Crowley's ear and takes out the coin. He's like, “Ah! It came from your ear,” and the whole time Crowley is just like, “Jesus fucking Christ.”
C: Like, “This is sooo embarrassing, bro, you’re being so cringe right now.”
G: "This is so humiliating." Yeah. I love to think that at some point in history, when Aziraphale started getting into this, Crowley being like, “Oh, this is horrible!” And then, years and years and years and years later, it's still happening. I love that.
C: Yeah. I mean it has been. It's very, very fun. It ends, what? With Crowley muttering, “I'll make you disappear,” [laughs] when Aziraphale’s talking about disappearing the coin.
G: No. 'Cause there's- you know, he's an angel, so he can just do things, but he doesn't because he thinks the illusion of magic is so much more fun to do.
C: Wow, he’s just like Sam Winchester. [laughs]
G: He’s just like Sam Winchester for real.
C: Sorry, that wasn’t fair to Aziraphale. But Sam’s not too bad of a guy to be compared with.
G: He goes and does the magic act in the party, and he fucks it up quite severely. He looks stupid as hell in there. [C laughs]
C: He’s drawn a Sharpie mustache on himself.
G: I love that. And the kids tell him that he's rubbish. [both laugh]
C: [laughs] But they don’t say-
G: “And probably-”
C: “-a faggot,” they don’t. They cut out the most important line in the entire book, I'm devastated.
G: Exactly.
C: The thing is like, the funniest thing about this is- Good Omens the TV show is a fun experiment in, like, "What if you wrote a book in 1990 and you said some shitty things in there, and then in 2019, you had the chance to unsay some of those shitty things? Which ones would you pick?" And the other thing about Good Omens is that there's a radio show from 2014, I've listened to it- I just forgot if it was from 2014, or 2015, where Neil Gaiman was also faced with this choice, and in 2014 or 2015, he said, “I'm keeping ‘faggot’ in.” And then, four years later, he went, “You know what, I've reconsidered.” What happened in the middle, Neil Gaiman?
G: He Matt Damon-ified.
C: Sorry, I didn't hear that, what?
G: I said he Matt Damon-ified. Do you know about that Matt Damon thing where like, randomly in an interview-
C: Ohhhh!
G: - completely unprompted, he just goes. “I've stopped saying the f-slur.” [both laugh]
C: “My daughter was really upset when I said it, and she sat me down, and we had a really nice conversation, and you know what, I get it now, I'm not saying it anymore.” God, I forgot. That was Matt Damon. That's hilarious.
G: Totally unprompted.
C: Because yeah, in the podcast Greater Boston, there's a fictional Matt Damon, he's treated as a pretty good guy, it's Ben Affleck that they hate on a lot. But you're right, Matt Damon did say that. [laughs] Hilarity.
G: I mean, at least he doesn't say it anymore, I guess. [both laugh]
C: God, didn’t Kasey Musgraves, after getting her Emmy, or around the time of her getting her- sorry, why did I say Emmy? Around the time of getting her Grammy, she, unprompted, was like, “Oh, yeah, I also used to say it as an insult, but I don't anymore.” What do people- do they think that saying this will absolve them of their guilt? I don't know, sometimes you just keep that shit to yourself, bro.
G: It was entertaining to hear. [laughs]
C: That's true. It was pretty funny.
G: I think maybe there is a whole like, "If I say it, and then the people who-" it’s weeding out the people who would get mad at you if you- For saying that like, “Oh, you shouldn't say stuff like this.” Maybe it's that perspective, but I don't think- Maybe-
C: Okay, I get the idea of appealing to the audience of people who still say it as like a “Hey, don't anymore.” But was that- I don't think that was really the vibe I got from Matt Damon.
G: Yeah, I think Matt Damon was just really proud of himself.
C: Yeah, he was like, “I did a really good job.” He's so like my parents for real. I mean, they don't say the f-slur 'cause they don't know the f-slur, but every year, unprompted, they're like, “Aren't we so much better at gay rights than we used to be?” And I'll be like, “No. Anyway." [G laughs]
G: Amazing.
C: Amazing.
G: Anyway, they start throwing cake at Aziraphale 'cause he was so bad at the magic [C laughs], and the kids are having fun. Anyway, the hound gets released into the world, and because it has super senses, or whatever, it knows that the Antichrist is not, in fact, Warlock, but is, in fact. Adam.
C: Yup.
G: I mean, Adam, as you said earlier, seems to be a nice kid. He's playing in the fucking forest, or whatever. His group of friends called themselves the Them. I love that.
C: This is the future liberals want.
G: Yeah, this is literally the future liberals want. And it already occurred in 2019. Adam is talking about how much he wants a dog for his birthday, and all that crap.
C: Yeah. Pepper has a woman moment, which was sure something, where she says like, “Oh, I wanted a cool bike with gears, and a razor saddle for my birthday, but instead, my parents got me a girl's bike with a basket, and no cool things whatsoever.” And then Wensleydale goes, “But you are actually a girl,” and then she goes, “That's just sexist.” And, ugh. Why can't Neil Gaiman write women? Like, there are women in his life. [G laughs] He’s a people in this world. He can just write women like people in this world. It'd be cool. And like, I think the annoying part is, in the book the line is, she goes like, “That's just sexist, giving someone girly presents because they're a girl.” And when I read that I was like, “Okay, she's being portrayed as making a reasonable point.” But like, what this adaptation tells me is like, oh, no, it's because when they wrote it in 1990, they thought that her original statement was ridiculous and stupid. So now they're just cutting it down to give it the same tone of it being ridiculous and stupid. And the fact that this version is so like, “Did you just assume my pronouns?” You know what I mean? It's sexist to call her a girl is the joke now, and like, I don't know.
G: Yeah.
C: And I think I have a special sensitivity towards that, because “Did you just assume my pronouns?” was like, the hot new joke at my high school in tenth grade-
G: Oof, yeah. It also was!
C: - and it made me feel so incredibly unsafe every time I was anywhere in school-
G: Yes, that's true.
C: - 'cause it would just happen during every conversation. So, yeah. Not a fan.
G: I know! It was- God. That was a horrible time.
C: It was so bad!
G: And the thing is, I lived in a very progressive high school. People were very- a lot of people were gay, you know. And a lot of people who were making these jokes were gay people. Like, you're already queer, and you're just punching down, 'cause you don't think that like, whatever whatever is whatever. And it was, you know, very hurtful, etc.
C: Yeah, yeah. Same experience here. Yeah, I feel like me and the one other trans kid around were like, "We've tried telling some people to not do it. And it worked on some people." But most of the time it was just like, "I'm having the most miserable year of my life."
G: I think for me, the experience is- 'cause, you know, I was out as queer but not trans, and the experience is kind of like, "Okay, well!" and then pushing back into the closet kind of situation.
C: Yeah.
G: Which also sucked, but, you know.
C: Yeah. I don't even think I knew I was nonbinary at the beginning of that year, but I was like - I don't think it helped me realize, but definitely I feel like some of the visceral uncomfortableness, I didn't know where it was coming from until I was like, “Hey, what if we weren't a girl?”
G: Yeah, it's crazy.
C: Yeah. Oh, you said you couldn’t think of a worst line, for a long time, but I feel like we found one.
G: That's it. This could be it.
C: Okay.
-
G: Anyway, the hellhound goes to Adam, and at this point he still can't see the hellhound. and he starts naming the hellhound. And there's a lot of suspense where he goes, “Oh, I’ll name it…”
C: “If I got a dog for my birthday, I think I would want him to be named…Dog!”
G: And then he goes, “Dog!” He also describes the kind of dog he wants, 'cause at some point, one of his friends goes like, “Do you want a Rottweiler?” And he goes, "No, I want a small dog, it’s smart, and all that crap.” And then the hellhound turns into this dog 'cause it's the dog that Adam desired.
C: Yeah, yeah.
G: So suddenly, there's this dog, and it's running to Adam. And now he has a dog, and the Apocalypse is about to start.
C: Yeah. It is so nice that he named the dog Dog, god bless.
Okay, right. Also, before the scene, as we mentioned earlier, you know, Crowley is in the car, and Dagon, Lord of the Files, calls, and is like, “Oh, yeah, we released the dog, and it would definitely go to the right boy. So hello, is it there?” And Crowley is like, “Oh, yeah, mm-hm. Mm-hm. 100%, for sure.” And I guess what I like about the scene is that it also shows the limits of Hell's surveillance. Because they're talking to him through the radio, but Aziraphale’s in the car, and they have no idea, which means that when they're talking to him through a purely audio medium, they can't actually see him in any way, whereas in a later episode they talk to him via a TV, and I think they can see him for that one. So yeah, another cool detail.
But anyway, we cut back to the bookstore, and Aziraphale and Crowley are sitting there and drinking again. And, you know, Crowley’s just like, “This sucks. We've lost the Antichrist. Why did I have to get dragged into this, anyway? It's horrible.” And Aziraphale has another great bitchy moment where he's like, “Well, I think maybe the reason is because you kept sending them memos about how you were so good that you started the Spanish Inquisition [G laughing] and World War II.” And Crowley’s like, “Okay, first, not my fault that they never check up. Who cares? And secondly, humans beat me to it, so that's not my fault. I totally could have done it myself if I wanted to.” He's such a silly little guy. And then he sniffs the air and he goes like, “Oh, there's something different,” and Aziraphale goes, “Oh, I have a new cologne, my barber suggested it.” [G laughs] And Crowley goes [both] “No, I know what you smell like.” Insane moment, absolutely insane moment. What was the point of any of it? It is not in the book. But yeah. Basically, Crowley senses that wherever the hellhound is, it has found the true Antichrist. And when Aziraphale doubts this, he goes, “Would I lie to you?” And Aziraphale goes, “Well, obviously, you're a demon. That's what you do.” Which, you know, is just them doing their thing again. I really don't know how much either of them believe any of this shit. I feel like Crowley wouldn't say that sentence unless he thought it would still register emotionally, and I think it does still register emotionally. I think Aziraphale just has prejudice reflexes or whatever. But yeah, you know, Crowley ends with being like, “Okay, well, we're doomed.” And Aziraphale goes, “Welcome to the end times.” And, you know, that's the end of the episode.
G: Pretty fun. Pretty good. Pretty great.
C: Yeah. Pretty great.
Grey, how would you rate this episode out of 10?
G: For a pilot, I am a firm believer that TV shows are not supposed to get you in the pilot. Like, "give the first five episodes a go before making a judgment," I'm that kind of person because I am in full awareness that a lot of the times, first seasons of shows are kind of horrible and etc etc. But obviously Good Omens is a different kind of show than the ones that I usually watch, and I think this pilot is actually really good 'cause it fully engaged me. And honestly, I am quite sad that we'll have to wait a week-
C: To watch the next one?
G: - for the next recording. Because I wanna watch the whole season right now.
C: Damn.
G: It has interested me that much. So, alas! Well, so, I think for that, for the way it grabbed me, I would say this is a 10 out of 10 episode.
C: Nice. For me, I mean, this is good. I get to meet my favorite little guys. I think that sometimes, the jokes are too obviously set up, and that makes them less funny to me. Like, there's a scene where Pepper’s like, “Oh, and this dog's just gonna appear out of nowhere?” and then the dog appears.
G: Yeah, and then it did.
C: And it's like, okay, whatever. You don't have to say everything. So I would ding a little for that. But I feel like otherwise, this is, I mean, you're right. It's a good pilot. So I'll give it a 9 out of 10.
G: Hell yeah!
C: Hell yeah. That’s it for this week's episode of Rubbish and Probably a Podcast. Next time, we will be talking about Season 1, Episode 2: “The Book.” Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.
G: Follow us on social media! We interact through the accounts set up for our Supernatural commentary podcast, Busty Asian Beauties. So catch us on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com and email us at
[email protected].
C: Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Kofi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod. See you guys next time! Bye!
G: Bye!
[theme song]
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[beep]
G: I’m eating my Snickers almond brownie dark chocolate.
C: Wait, it’s a Snickers brownie?
G: Yeah, it’s a Snickers almond brownie and dark chocolate square.
C: Like, that’s the flavor of it, or it’s actually a brownie with Snickers in it?
G: Yeah. No, it’s like a Snickers brand almond brownie.
C: Huh.
G: And it’s covered in dark chocolate.
C: That sounds pretty good.
G: Yeah, it’s way too sweet.
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[beep]
G: Do you know that joke with the like- "What is it you cahn't face?"
C: No, what?
G: There's an Internet meme where- what's the name of the main character in Sound of Music?
C: Maria?
G: Yeah. So Maria goes back to the convent, and she's like, “Oh, I can't do it anymore, blah blah blah." And one of the nuns is like, “Maria. The convent is not the place for hiding. What is it- what is it you can't face?” But like, because they're fucking Austrian, or whatever, the accent makes it sound like she’s calling her a cuntface. [both laughing]
C: Okay, that's pretty good. I don't think I noticed that at age nine or whatever, though.
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