#but. he'd been there one (1) day
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For anyone else who is gonna struggle surviving the next 3 weeks with the angsty and tense situation of Callowmoore here's a few things from the last 2 episodes that I feel were underrated and will assist in trying to keep me sane/emotionally stable: - Matching messed up hands built for holding - Fearne nervously playing with her hair as she approaches Ashton - Ashton wanted Fearne to be either the last thing they saw if they died or the first thing they saw when they succeeded - Fearne's admittance corroborates Ashley's 4SD revelation that Fearne is in love with someone in the party but doesn't know how to process the emotions - Fearne wanted Ashton to be happy, while Ashton wanted to feel whole so they would be worthy of the Hells - Ashton twice tried to lead a search for Fearne, and instantly clocking onto Chetney saying he followed Fearne - Fearne making herself look as radiant as possible before giving Ashton the cold shoulder - Ashton only rose to Chetney's provocations until he said 'You hurt Fearne' Use how you will
#godspeed my poor damaged psyche#critical role#bells hells#callowmoore#ashton greymoore#fearne calloway#fearne x ashton#ashton x fearne#strangely enough I don't enjoy having a dark and sad pit sitting in my chest day to day#3 weeks and we don't even get a cute M9 reunion in between to distract us? this was worse than Callowmoore's sistergate 3 week wait#also 'a little'? Sweetie people don't jump into lava for a little you got the big L and it's not Lesbian(s)#Feel like Laudna was a bit cruel this ep (Ash has been there for her a ton and she kinda villainized him) but we'll put it down to Delilah#much of Ashton's trauma has been overlooked or left to them to internalize but still nobody has told them that they are loved#and Ashton Greymoore needs to be told they're loved! (by Fearne)#but yeah time for more positive mental scenarios that 99% won't happen (but when that 1% does ho boy)#couldn't have just had Fearne go 'no talking' and sleep on Ash's chest to hear their heartbeat as her touch soothes Ash's pain could we?#or final fight scenarios where Ludinus is a walking harness and Ashton tricks them into absorbing their titan powers so he'd explode#they could've even had a talk in the woods because they wanted to find her so bad but was not gonna test Imogen's patience#I for one though will have at least one where Ashton seeks out Mori for advice (Fearne too but separately)#Tal I need you to use all your romantic arsenal in the feywild (Percy's worst travel experience) to win back Ashley's beautiful faun girl#bonus prompts for 'You will always be perfect to me' and 'Promise you'll come back to me' they pop up often in my scenarios#taliesin jaffe#ashley johnson
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to the ppl that think that Ed doesn't know the names of Stede's crew:
explain to me episode 6, when the Swede starts singing his beautiful little tune, and Ed says "is that the Swede?" consider episode 8 also, where he says "sorry, Buttons" when they're being rowdy. go on. go ahead. tell me why you think he doesn't know their names. did u watch the show? are u sure?
#i've read so much fic where ed's been like. hey you!!#or that one.#and it's just not right#he calls lucius boy because that's his role. that's what he is.#like that's his job#there's one instance in episode 4-ish where he addresses someone without their name#but. he'd been there one (1) day#ofc he's not going to know their names yet#and i'm so tired of it#ed cares about these people#ofmd
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Late Night quick thing (New Age Sillies)
Bad news: That joke post about including Reset + Orchid is definitely not canon. (I legit got sad thinking about Reset being in a universe where Orchid isn't- because their stories are so so intertwined- but Nightmare 100% would NOT risk the whole twins exploding Error's soul thing.)
Good news: This means I COULD include Kane (Reset's older brother who usually dies in timelines where Reset is born) and use it to develope his character a bit more! Also! Perhaps a Blue Ć Dream kiddo is finally in the stars for me to design?
#new age au#really enjoying the idea of Reaper + Geno having an heir at some point (and them sending that heir over to Night's kingdom for#exposure to other places as well as to hang with his third cool knight dad who's hard at work š)#Kane has little to no development besides being a perfect angel (foil to Reset's eventual turn to poor choices) so I'd love to do#to him what I do to every oc of mine. (Namely: Throw them into the Kingdom and see what they do.)#oh! and I could see Blue and Dream (beloved boys) listening to the warnings of possible complications if they try to have a lil babybones#and Dream deciding he'd take the risk and carry the growing soul#(<- though tbf this is MANY years into the future and they'd be well established knights of the realm)#i'm not evil so they *would* manage to avoid the twins curse and have a singular beautiful babybones#they'd get raised partially on the move but stay behind with Night and Error if the two had a more dangerous mission#and grow up to be an obnoxiously powerful warrior following after their dads#(but they'd probably be hesitant to follow into the footsteps of being a knight and might go on a quest with friends before choosing a#final path for themselves)#<- Most spoiled rotten kid ever. courtesy of Nightmare and Error and all their extended family <3#oh last note. Ancha has me cracking up w/ ideas for Cross potentially meeting someone and I was beamed w/ an old ship request post I saw and#I think it'd be funny to include Lust in here somehow... (probably call him smth else as a nickname but y'know-)#like. He works in the city around the castle as some sort of... idk tailor? and he's been making things for Nightmare for years without#knowing because Ccino always was discreet about the orders and providing measurements + always tipped well so it was none of his business#but one day it's like. before a big announcement ceremony or smth and Ccino drags Cross in by the scruff because no one can get him to get#clothes that actually fit aside from armor (hc he steals the others clothes a lot and wears 1 shirt until it's threadbare)#so Ccino makes him go to Lust and Lust is able to get him fitted for sone new outfits because. well. Lust doesn't do much but he's very very#handsome and Cross is super easily flustered and shy around new people and he's awkward and aughhh.#and then he thinks about the interaction for the next month before deciding he's going to ask Ccino to go back there again.#and Lust likes dressing Cross up in new outfits (everyone thinks it's great Cross is loosening up and meeting new friends cuz Lust introduce#s him to people in town) and it takes forever for Cross to get over his worries and ask Lust out to a ride on his horse (romantic. of course#) and Lust agrees because he's charmed.#and the best part would be Cross *actually* manages to keep it a secret. like. no one finds out until one morning Killer bursts into Cross'#room to wake him for surprise training and it's Cross. the weird Dog. and- holy shit did Cross have someone over???#Cross pulls the cool ones frfr š#it's just a casual thing between them with little plot relevance or drama I think. just a chill lil relationship š
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Sepang 2006: After an exhausting race, Valentino Rossi brings a chair to the podium and sits down. Loris Capirossi joins him to sit on his lap.
#brr brr#//#lc65#going through my notes for that vale race rec post and I was gonna include some of these screenshots#but actually there's screenshots I want to include from parc fermƩ too because I think they're cute so. this gets its separate post#if you're wondering how that rec list is going btw I've currently got over eighty races listed I don't want to talk about it#this race deserves a lot more love tbh. one of the 2006 races nobody would ever shut up about if he'd won the title#but they don't suddenly stop being good races just because they ended up being in vain!! he was amazing to watch in 2006#two bits of context that really make this:#1) vale/loris were engaged in battle the whole race and vale overtook on the final lap before engaging in some?? uh. robust defence#which I feel like at least a few riders would at the very least have been mildly miffed at but!! not capirossi not with valentino#2) dani had like?? a deep cut in his knee and it was surprising he'd been able to ride let alone get a podium#you'll note he's the only guy standing while these two are doing their thing. another big win for empathy#one commentator is saying literally right after they stand up again that dani had gained the respect of his fellow riders that day#and you kind of feel like if they took his suffering THAT seriously they maybe wouldn't do all that but well!! anyway#alien tag
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honestly i don't even care if i sound delusional anymore...
i really need to be cuddled up with him, his arms around me as he comforts me, i feel he would be so good at it:( and he'd be such a softie, just playing with your hair and pressing soft kisses on the top of your head, his free hand probably tracing patterns on your back and aaah:( it would be the cutest thing on earth.
#lando norris#ln4#formula 1#f1#šø angie talks#he makes me so soft#also ive been having a really bad day so i cant stop thinking about him being super soft#he'd definitely put one of his hoodies so you feel more comfy#<- also bc you love his scent and makes you feel safe#istg im gonna cry if i keep thinking abt thisš#he'd totally buy your favourite sweets too!!#and he'd give you all the affection on earth bc u deserve it#oh i need to stop#he's so cute though#i cant never get enough of his smile & eyes#also his curls:( so pretty#my pretty boy#i adore him#<- ill never get tired of saying that
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is there any version of the jekyll and hyde story that's good? lemme know
#personal#i hate the original slow boring bad but some sort of ethic that i can find interesting#but i was disappointed my first time by its ethic bc i'd been led to believe it was all an accident he'd become evil#and ohhh he was overcome by his experiment#and then when i gave it another chance knowing what to expect i was like oh this still sucks storytelling wise#now following the story i am also very disappointed#just listening but like. boring! too long!#i think if you want to do a jekyll and hyde retelling you need to make the Thing happen sooner than in the novella#because i know what to expect and the waiting is just annoying#not tension building#and the musical just introduces some romance i think? lame#boring#heterosexuality wins :/#but like i get wanting to introduce a woman into it#maybe i'll do my own retelling one day idc#bro is intensely sex negative and has regressive morality but also wants to do reprehensible things would be my framework#there are a couple viewpoints from there of course. like 1) he could just be gay or desire sex almost at all in the og culture#and that would be enough to be evil#there is also the posturing viewpoint#like someone with power who wants to hurt those 'beneath' him and has the power to#but knows (despite the fact he has the power to do it) it would reflect poorly on him#priest targeting kids type story#but he can get away with it#the second one is more compelling to me personally as a retelling#while the first is more compelling as an interpretation of the original novella#do you guys like my very long post (tags) tonight
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things just came together even better i love when this happens
#that dragon cult ive talked about before is also a rebellion against prince sasha actually#so yes they believe (hope) that dragons will one day return but they also love and respect and admire them for what they were#and they haaaattteeee the solari's for what they did#and they've been trying to dethrone him for years - especially when they heard about his search#and so they know about him and he knows about them so he pinned them as the bad guys so no one would trust them#or listen to them and ALSO so he'd have someone to hide behind while he did all his evil shit#and he even had his own soldiers and shit dressed up and pretending to be them and stuff#so it looks like it was the rebellion that attacked arlet and did all this other stuff#and then the volcano scene in library keeper is like. the rebellion and then atlas and co are there for the same reason but also not#the rebellion wants to PROTECT korahi bc they worship dragons and the idea that there's one left is like. insane.#but atlas and stuff are there to kill her bc 1 keika has this bone deep instinctual knowledge that it needs to be done (and also kiko asked#2 they think bringing her back will lead to the destruction of the continent and blah blah bah#basically neither side is explaining themselves and both basically went āENEMYā and yeah#and then...cecily and ahria join the rebellion - not as dragon worshippers but as sasha haters#this is the first time the rebellion have actively tried to dethrone a solari bc now they have someone else they can put up there#(the cousin i also mentioned once i think. she's neat.)#ANYWAY YEAH things are becoming more clear and solid woo love that#plot stuff
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Pre-relationship 4-6 for the Mario Bros.! (Or your favorite of those questions if you only want one haha)
Yes!!! More Mario Bros ramble!!! Blessed!! Thankyou!!
4. Who felt romantic feelings first?
Hard to say, sense they've always been like this. There's not a specific moment either of them could go back to and say when they fell in love, they've always loved eachother, you know?
Though Luigi was the first to recognize these feelings as romantic, and different than how he loved, say, their mom and dad, and that that was something important. Mario didn't think it mattered what kind of love they had, their mama had taught them Love is Love, so what does it matter, right?
This happened when they were like 7.
5. Did either of them try to resist their feelings?
Maybe not quiet resist, but Mario did consider it for a while.
Around middle school-ish age, 12 or 13, their mom sat the brothers down to explain the difference between Familial and Romantic love, and why that difference was important, kind of assuming they didn't really know the difference in their emotions yet.
The whole thing made Mario feel awful. He'd made his mother worry, his father angry, and worst of all he, the older brother, put Luigi on the line for his own selfish reasoning.
The only reason he didn't fully withdrawal from Luigi and stew in an early sea of self deprecation was Luigi rubbing it in Mario's face that he was right, that the love he has for Mario and the love he has for the rest of their family is different. He did an "I Told You So" dance and everything. He was right and Mario was wrong ha ha ha ha ha!
So yeah. Mario considered resisting his feelings for all of about 20 minutes before Luigi snapped him out of it, and reminded him why that would simply never work. Not for them.
6. If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?
Mario doesn't believe in soulmates, he's a simple guy and not all that romantic in the grand scheme sense. Luigi on the other hand is all about Cosmic Connection and the "Over and Over again, life after life, I will find you, and I fall in love with you again and again" kind of cheesy nonsense. He'd be over the moon about it.
#Thankyou for asking#Mariocest#I'm so BLESSED already!!!!!! GOD!!!#Look man I LOVE THEM I love them I love them I love them#1 2 3 and 7 would be hard to answer with the bros huh fkgjfdkjgkdf#I considered 7 because of the Yoshi Island backstory but eeeeh#That's a concept for another day#OKAY HANG ON#I did it again I made Mario sound Emotionally Distant that's not. That's not what I mean#Mario IS a Romantic a Big Time Romantic just not in the Cosmic sense like Luigi#Luigi had a weeb phase so of course he's feral about Soulmate AUs#Mario's a Classic Romantic he likes a candle lit Italian dinner and a Bouquet of Roses and Slow Dances that sweep you of your feet#He loves the smooze the Cheese the romantic music and the nice suit#He'd probably really like Hallmark movies unironically#Luigi's not much for a big show or big acts he likes to do the small things#Rub Mario's shoulders when he looks tired and make him a cup of coffee in the morning and hold his hand when they're walking side by side#You get me?#Mario likes to DO big actions he loves to be the Guy with the Rose and he'd love to some day be the one on his knees with the ring#Am I making sense? Hopefully#They are in love your honor they always have been and they always will be#Shipcest
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why do i have to be the adult of this household
#one flatmates' bf has been here for a week#(and she didn't even say anything about it!! didn't even ask if it's ok)#and i went back home for the weekend and thought he'd be gone once i'm back but nope still here#had to do an intervention on the groupchat#bruh 1) he doesn't live here 2) he doesn't pay 3) he uses the same stuff that other flatmates do#thankfully with the last point we have two bathrooms and he doesn't use the one i do#but still#people born after 2000 really don't know how to live with other people huh??#that individualism mindset has gone too far#am i insane for thinking that if you live with flatmates and want to have a guest for more than 2 days then you should ask
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ladies is it weird if the guy you like completely sweeps you (and a middle schooler) off the board at foosball and then high fives you (and the middle schooler) about it?
#idk man.#Lu rambles#sorry to keep posting about this. it's been a wild insane couple of days#for the record I jumped in after he'd already beat the middle schooler at one on one#bc we thought that 2 against 1 would be odds in our favor. it was not.#and he high fived me AFTER the middle schooler I'm just like. huh.#last time someone did that it was the theatre boy and I actually initiated the high five bc we'd cut the time on our play down that night#so idk maybe I'm just being weird but I felt a little odd about it#I'm very grateful to have this guy as a friend either way tbh and I look forward to working with him at church tomorrow :)
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i'd like to think nevada knows puck actually, and is getting wasted on the strip tonight
#wttt hockeyposting#lynx rambles#he had the best seats in the house#he's been vgk's ride or die since day 1#believed in em from the start#went to every away game#look he literally fucking works on the strip how is he NOT going to know about his team getting to playoffs#and the whole storyline of misfits and stuff#he got one of those scarves he's wearing it loud and proud everywhere he fucking goes#HIS TEAM WON!!!#there was some map about most of the states/provinces rooting for florida#this is his stanley cup (literally)#the worst part abt this all is that florida doesnt know and may never really know about the stanley cup#so he cant brag as much as he'd like#but he can brag to the NE and gov (gov doesnt know puck either) AND THATS WHAT COUNTS#LONG LIVE SUN BELT HOCKEY!!!!#anyway patiently awaiting ben bringing this up in an ep and thatll be the first ep ive watched in a few months and maybe the only ep#florida having his teams make the final four fucking years in a row is criminal i hate it sm#yes i inherited my grudge against the lightning (and by extension the panthers) from wttt what r u gonna do abt it
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Your post about The Most American Sandwhich just made me imagine Leonard as an American... Leonard scuttling about at a Walmart parking lot, trying to fit all the food he bought in the trunk (enough to hermit away for the next few weeks begote he has to restock again)
this is a bit late but this has me WAILING........ american leonard, what groceries will he buy........ do you think he would treat him also to The Most American Sandwich
now introducing: the U.P's youngest resident
also during the process of scribbling in his hoodie i looked at it and almost started crying
#gu6chan's doodles#leonard drakengard#drag on dragoon#drakengard#this is so FUNNY bc i shit you not my dad used to do a similar thing growing up except on a monthly basis#like i used to HATE going over to live with him bc going from nĆ¼rnberg; one of the most populated cities in germany to laterally no one#living within walkable distance + my dad only leaving for groceries once a month BY HIMSELF it was literally just woods i HATED it#just miles and miles of trees......... i used to treat it like a goddamn vacation and get dressed up in my best clothes whenever he said i#could come to the grocery store with him but by the time i came out he'd normally leave to go by himself by that time anyways š fun times#luckily not everyone was that isolated as me but i will say if ive learned anything about northern michigan/The U.P every parent is just as#insane fansjcjsmsnd also people WILL just go missing out of the blue???? usually really young kids whose parents are touring or elderly ppl#with alzheimers or so. though they also do get the occasional Normal 20-30 year old every other hunting season šš last year a 72 year old#guy went out with his dog and only the dog came back and we STILL haven't found the dude. theres no way hes alive now since it was JUST#reaching winter when he disappeared but like. i wonder where he is. its CRAZY up here#anyways the UP is even more insane and I'm glad I don't live over there because holy FUCK.#every visit has been an absolutely surreal experience#that fact and the guy who just up and walked into the woods i mentioned were both vague inspirations for this little detail spread lmaoooo#that and the fact that a LOT of people up here and ESPECIALLY in the UP are either drug dealers or sex offenders who are trying to find#somewhere isolated to get away from the police (re: insane parents) that or some crazy shit in their past theyre trying to run away from#all this to say: leonard is prime candidate for weird little U.P hermit who just suddenly walks into the woods one day and#1. is never seen again#or 2. his decaying corpse is found facedown in a river 4 years later. is it suicide? foul play from whatever he was trying to get away from#in his past that led him to the UP to begin with? no one knows. they all forget about it within 3 weeks#speaking of decaying; this is not to be confused with my unfinished drafts for silent hill leonard whose been decaying there for months...
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Girl i think your husband is kinda shitty. He doesn't care about your feelings
nah he's not like that all the time. he's actually v sweet and caring. he's just so goddamn STUBBORN and the frustration usually ends up coming out in the tags of tumblr posts haha
#he'd skip meals to save money to buy me gifts and he'd spend the one (1) day he has off of work making sure i dont#have to lift a finger to do anything by doing it all himself and if he finds me sad abt something he's like aight we're going out even if#its ass o'clock at night and he'd had a long day at work#honestly if i started listing out all the good he does id be here forever but goddamn. gotdamn. its like god saw how stubborn i am and#decided to match me with someone even worse#he got me my favourite food from my favourite takeout place yesterday and told me there was a big dinner thing at work so he wasnt in the#mood to eat so i could eat it all without him. after i was done he was like aight im starving im gonna go heat up some leftovers if there#are some. i was like i thought u said u jad a big dinner thing at work? and he was like yeah the big dinner thing was the work cafeteria but#i never said i ate anything. what a whole butt#ive had food poisoning so i told him to get me meds but also ask his doc friends first which meds would be right for me to go along with the#meds im already on. homeboy went to the nearby pharmacy and got me a suspension syrup for stomach issues. for KIDS under 10.#i was cackling his ass is so dumb sometimes. he was like i got the kids one so it wouldn't react with ur other meds#i was PISSED but also laughing my ASS off so i dont think he got the memo. SIR U ARE NOT A DOCTOR. just bc he's been working alongside docs#for a decade now he thinks he's tough shit. ur an ENGINEER bls stop being so stubborn#asks#ask#anon#tr
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Love the slight AUs where Bruce as Batman has been a member of the league for ages, but he's somehow managed to keep his assortment of children under the radar.
Because it sets up the wildest misunderstandings within the league. He routinely talks about his babies, his children who are all so sweet and kind and occasionally assholes yes but only because they are young (and traumatized) hell I don't think the league would even be aware that they're adopted. So they're all thinking literal children
Barry: Bats really loves his kids.
Hal: I mean they're babies, wait till they hit the angsty teens and I'm sure we'll be hearing the opposite
Which means the day they finally meet Nightwing they don't know wtf to think. For one thing, how old would he have been when he had this kid???? Should they be worried about that???? And for the other, that is not a baby, that is not a precious little thing.
He could break someone in half. Like a twig.
He won't, but he could. And they can see that. (He's bat trained, they have seen what the bat can do they are not fools)
And they're like, okay. Okay maybe he isn't the baby (he is). He's got younger kids right? He's never said how many, they have 0 clues. They've been expecting 1 child, maybe 2 because he'd said kid in the plural exactly once when comforting an older woman while they were searching for her children in the aftermath of a rough battle.
And then a week later they run into Red Hood. In his leather, with his guns. And he drapes himself across Batmans back with all the self confidence in the world and starts whining about the "Brat" breaking into his safe house.
To steal his dog.
And yet again. He is not baby. He is bigger than Batman. He could probably break Batman in half given the bat didn't put up a fight. But Batman looks at him with probably the softest expression they've ever seen on that mans face and tells him very earnestly that the kid just wants to spend time with his older brother, next time they should try a walk. Maybe go to the zoo.
But probably not one of the babies. They're kind, and gentle, and at least one just loves reading and Bats has been trying to encourage that!!!
And then a day later he mentions his "babies" going for a walk in the park and they all instantaneously lose their minds at the confirmation.
#batman#dc#bruce wayne#batfamily#batfam headcanons#batfam#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#robin#spoiler#red robin#justice league
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MAMA, A DIVA BEHIND YOU! ā toji fushiguro sfw!
prologue. ā toji loves his son, he really does. unfortunately, young megumi is less than receptive when it comes to toji's efforts to impress the pretty neighbour who just moved into the apartment down the hall.
or five times megumi actively made toji's love life worse. and the one time he actually helped.
pairing. toji fushiguro x afab!reader
warnings. megumi is his own warning. mild age gap implied. non sorcerer au, toji is raising megumi on his own. reader has she/her pronouns. nothing else, just shenanigans :) toji gets knocked down a few pegs by his son š mildly ooc toji <3
word count. song inspiration. paper rings ā taylor swift
a/n. this is sooo silly and for fun lol š i feel like you can tell this just isn't my genre or writing style š
mp3. i like shiny things, but i'd marry you with paper rings <3
TOJI FUSHIGURO didn't have a lot of treasures in life. he just wasn't that type of guy. treasures were for people with their lives together ā the kind who budgeted for organic vegetables and owned matching socks. toji's list of prized possessions was short: a semi-reliable pay check, a fridge that kept his beer cold on a good day, and the one channel that aired late-night baseball games.
oh, and his kid. megumi fushiguro.
the little brat was the one thing in toji's life he could call a blessing without choking on the word. but lately? toji was seriously considering the logistics of international shipping. could you send a five year old punk to siberia? where was the paperwork for that?
everything had been fine. hell, downright manageable. until you moved in down the hall.
at first, toji didn't give a fuck. neighbours were usually either noisy or nosy, and sometimes the tragic combination of both. the last guy had banged on his door at least once a week, yelling about toji's late-night weightlifting sessions and muttering something about 'quiet hours.'
toji had pegged you for the same. maybe with a yoga met and too many scented candles.
but then, you showed up on his doorstep with a kind smile that could probably light up half the districts in the city. and a polite, sweet, "excuse me, but could you help me with my bed frame?"
and that was it.
the universe must've been real bored, because that was the moment it decided that toji fushiguro ā self proclaimed expert on not giving a damn, was going to lose his damn mind like cupid has struck him with the painful arrows of a crush. and he was a goner.
take #1 ā my neck, my back
spring in tokyo had come into full bloom, the kind of day where the air smelled faintly of sunshine, and the cherry blossoms drifted around like lazy, little freeloaders. below the apartment complex, the park wasn't much to write home about ā a scrappy patch of grass, a couple of benches that looked like they'd seen some shit, and a swing set that squeaked like it had a vendetta against joy.
but for toji? it was good enough.
he'd figured this 'let me show you around because i'm so friendly' outing would be low effort. easy. casual and neighbourly, even. except now, he was leaning against a tree which was far harder than it sounded when his lower back was screaming at him louder than megumi had this morning about brushing his teeth.
but you stood nearby, smiling that damn warm and disarming smile of yours, gently plucking a stray blossom from megumi's messy hair. the kid, for his part, was pointedly ignoring you both, kicking rocks with the type of dedication usually reserved for a brat trying to avoid his homework.
toji cleared his throat, "so, uh, the area's not bad. quiet most of the time. that convenience store over there's open late. great for snacks. or milk. y'know, the owner's a bit of a bitc ā"
"why are you standing like that?"
megumi's voice cut through his rehearsed tour like a rusty knife.
toji shot him a sharp glance. a look that screamed: keep your mouth shut, kid.
megumi just tilted his head, all faux innocence, and then delivered the killing blow with those sea-green eyes gleaming in what toji was certain was pure maliciousness, "dad, your back hurts again, doesnāt it?"
toji froze, scrambling for damage control, but you were already pressing your lips together, trying not to laugh. trying. but he could see the corners of your mouth twitching.
"back's fine," toji huffed, straightening up too fast. something in his spine must have popped loud enough to startle a crow off a branch, "solid a rock, hah! good as new."
megumi glanced at his scuffed sneakers, and then back up, "you said it was hard getting off the couch this morning. didn't you say you're old now and falling apart?"
toji's entire soul left his body. the punk was a traitor to a family name. he should have just sent megumi back to the clan long ago.
"don't you have a rock to kick?" he hissed.
"already did all that."
and that was it. your laugh finally burst out, bright and loud, ringing through the little patch of a park. toji found himself staring at you like some idiot in a rom-com whoād just realised he was completely doomed.
"kids, huh?" he muttered, throwing megumi a glare that promised revenge.
"kids," you agreed, eyes still sparkling as you excused yourself, something about leaving a pot on the stove. you gave toji one last look as you turned to go, warm and soft with that lingering amusement.
toji leaned back against the tree once you were gone, letting out a long sigh. megumi was still standing there, kicking the same patch of dirt, as though he were trying to discover unseen archaeological wonders underneath the earth.
"you're lucky i donāt sell you to a circus," toji grumbled under his breath.
megumi didnāt even look up, "you wouldnāt get that much for me."
smart-ass kid.
take #2 ā the liar's pants are blazing on fire
walking someone home shouldn't have felt like scaling mount fuji, but toji fushiguro was now sweating bullet. the evening was crisp, the air cool enough to keep him from outright drowning in these stupid nerves, but it helped little.
the streetlights flickered on one by one, casting a faint yellow glow over the neighbourhood. nothing fancy ā just rows of small apartments with laundry dangling off balconies and the occasional stray cat darting under parked car. it wasn't exactly romantic, but in the soft glow of the spring, it didn't look that bad.
you walked besides him, laughing at some half-assed joke he'd cracked earlier. and damn, toji liked that sound. more than he should've. more than he'd admit to anyone, including himself. now though, the silence had crept back in, and he was left psyching himself up for the move.
just hold her hand, his brain hissed, it's not rocket science. come on, man. no! wait, give her a compliment, call her hot. ugh, idiot. don't say that yet -
his thick fingers flexed awkwardly at this side as he tried to look natural. a valiant losing battle when every nerve in his body screamed, you have one job, fushiguro. don't ruin this.
"dad!"
toji's head snapped up like a startled animal, and there he was. megumi. his kid. his little shadow. gasping, clutching his throat, and staggering toward them like a samurai dying in glorious battle.
"dad! i ā i can't breathe!" megumi wheezed, voice raspy as he doubled over in dramatic agony.
toji blinked. what the ā
"i think i'm dying!" megumi croaked, collapsing onto the sidewalk with all the subtlety of a boulder tumbling down a hill.
toji sighed, already pinching the bridge of his nose. shouldāve known. thid kid had been hanging around that white-haired freak downstairs too much. what had that gojo satoru been teaching him? shakespearean death monologues?
"what is it this time?" toji asked flatly, his voice like gravel.
"maybe, maybe it's the peanuts!" megumi sputtered, clutching his chest now, because why not? "the ones i ate at home! i think i'm allergic!"
toji stared at him, unimpressed. this was the same kid who could inhale salted peanuts by the handful, barely pausing for air, like he was training for some bizarre snack-eating championship.
"you're not allergic," toji deadpanned.
"i think i am!" megumi wheezed, dropping to his knees, his little hands shaking dramatically.
"oh my god!" you gasped, wide-eyed. "should we ā i mean, do we need to take him to the hospital? i can drive ā"
toji waved a rough hand, trying to salvage what little dignity he had left, "nah, kidās fine. just go on home. i'll handle this."
"but ā"
"it's fine," toji insisted, forcing what he hoped was a reassuring smile, even as megumi collapsed onto the pavement like heād been struck by lightning.
you had hesitated, clearly torn, but eventually nodded, "okayā¦ but call me if you need anything, okay?"
toji nodded, biting back the heat threatening to crawl up his neck. "yeah, yeah. go on."
the second you turned the corner, toji crouched next to his "dying" son, who immediately cracked one eye open and coughed weakly for good measure.
"what the hell was that?" toji grunted, "what did i say about huffing gasoline in the laundry?"
"don't do it."
toji flicked the punk's forehead, "mhm, so?"
megumi shrugged, sitting up and dusting off his pants. "thought i was allergic."
"to peanuts? that shit you eat everyday?"
"better safe than sorry, dad."
toji huffed, ruffling a hand through his choppy black hair. he glanced in the direction youād gone, muttering under his breath, "you're lucky youāre cute, kid."
the next morning, toji opened his door to find a basket sitting on the mat. a pristine, gingham-lined basket packed with golden, buttery pastries and muffins that smelled like heaven. attached was a note:
for megumi! i hope heās feeling better!
karmic justice demanded that toji sit down, scarf it entirely, and leave nothing but crumbs for the little brat. he'd earned that much.
take #3 ā they didn't get my nose right!
toji fushiguro didnāt get flustered easily. fights? He could eat a punch for breakfast. bills? well, avoidance was a valid financial strategy. but you, sitting on his couch, smiling at him like youād never met a red flag you didnāt want to rehabilitate, while unpacking groceries for him and megumi? that was uncharted territory.
terrifying.
the apartment was...presentable. which was more than he could say ten minutes before you arrived, when he'd barked at megumi like a drill sergeant to hide every suspicious stain and questionable stack of dishes. now, the faint sting of cleaning spray lingered in the air, and the tiny place almost looked cozy. not that toji would admit it.
"you didnāt have to bring anything," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
"oh, it's no trouble!" you chirped, beaming like some kind of saint. "i thought you and megumi might like some fresh vegetables. and i couldnāt resist grabbing some sweets for him."
from the corner of the room, megumi's ears perked up at sweets. he dropped the crayon heād been chewing (toji pretended not to see it) and padded over, all innocent wide eyes and suspiciously good behaviour.
"dad," megumi started, his tone way too angelic for a kid who regularly schemed like a demonic manga villain, ācan i show her my drawing?"
toji utterly froze.
megumi never asked to show off his drawings. usually, he just thrust them into unsuspecting hands like a nosy salesman who couldn't take no for an answer. this? this was premeditated.
"uh," toji grunted, squinting at the kid. "maybe later. sheās busy."
but you, bless your overly trusting heart, smiled and said, "oh, i'd love to see it! i'm sure it's adorable."
toji didnāt even have time to stop him. megumi whipped out a crumpled paper from his pocket like he was smuggling state secrets and handed it to you with an air of triumph.
you unfolded it carefully, and toji wanted to crawl into the walls.
there it was: a chaotic, technicolor mess of lines and smudges.
and centre stage?
a terrifyingly accurate caricature of him labeled "dad," locked in what could only be described as a life-or-death struggle with a rabid raccoon twice his size. above his head, a speech bubble screamed, "no!" while the raccoon yelled back, "mine!"
toji groaned so loud it couldāve registered on the richter scale, "kid. seriously?"
your laughter was instant and loud, the kind that made you clutch your sides and tear up. "this ā oh my god, this is amazing!" you wheezed, doubling over.
"itās not even accurate," toji muttered, crossing his arms, his biceps straining against his shirt like they were trying to leave this embarrassing moment behind. "i won."
"dad didnāt win," megumi piped up, as smug as a kid whoād just blown up his old manās spot in front of a pretty lady, "the raccoon stole the chips."
"megumi," toji growled, pinning him with a glare that wouldāve made lesser beings tremble. the kid just shrugged, popping another crayon into his mouth like this was all part of his five-year master plan.
later, after youād left, still giggling and promising to "treasure" the drawing, toji leaned over the kitchen table where megumi was innocently snacking on his candy.
'kid," toji said, his voice low and dangerous, "if you ever pull something like that again, iāll eat your crayons. one by one. and i'll make you watch."
megumi didnāt even flinch, cool as a cucumber, "good luck. i hid all the good ones."
take #4 ā take your broke ass home!
the neighborhood festival was the kind of event that came together with duct tape and misplaced enthusiasm. a few janky game booths, a cotton candy machine that looked like it ran on prayers, and a ferris wheel that creaked like it was auditioning for a horror movie. but toji didnāt mind. he had a plan.
this was going to be his moment.
he invited you under the pretense of "fun time" for megumi, but really, it was to show you what a catch he was. buff, capable, ruggedly charming ā he was ready to prove it all. what better way than with a little festival bravado? heād win you a giant stuffed panda or one of those oversized bears that could double as a couch. easy.
you and megumi stood by a booth plastered with painted bullseyes, rows of rubber balls stacked neatly on the counter. toji rolled up his sleeves, flexing his arms just enough to catch your attention. he reached into his pocket, pulling out a wad of crumpled cash like he was buying the entire festival, "watch this."
from beside him, megumi crossed his arms. his eyes squinted with the kind of judgment only an six-year-old could muster. then, like a sniper, he fired off the line that would ruin toji's day.
"careful, dad," megumi said, voice loud enough to turn a few heads. "thatās our grocery money for the week."
toji froze mid-reach for the first ball and his jaw clenched. slowly, painfully, he turned to face megumi, who was standing there with a look of angelic smugness.
"megumi," toji growled through gritted teeth, "let's remember who brought you here."
megumi didnāt miss a beat, "oh, right. i'm just worried that dinner tomorrow is soy sauce soup."
"kidās got jokes," toji muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, his cocky energy now entirely replaced by something closer to "please make this stop."
"oh, i donāt think heās joking," you teased, tears forming at the corners of your eyes from laughing too hard.
"yeah, definitely not joking," megumi deadpanned, "dadās gonna start eating protein powder straight from the jar."
"megumi," toji barked, praying for divine intervention that would include his son being carried off by a stork, "youāre grounded."
"for what? telling the truth?"
before toji could escalate into full-on dad-mode, the game attendant ā clearly desperate to avoid whatever domestic drama was brewing, handed toji a stuffed panda.
"here, sir, on the house," he said with a strained smile, like he was hoping toji wouldnāt throw a ball through the booth.
toji grabbed the panda and shoved it into your hands with all the grace of a man trying to save face, "here. told you i'd win ya something."
you had just hugged the panda, still grinning ear to ear, "who knew you had a sweet spot? i'll cherish it forever, especially after hearing how hard you worked for it."
megumi, the little bastard, had already wandered off to scope out the cotton candy stand.
toji watched him go, then glanced at you, feeling oddly resigned, "iām never bringing him to one of these again."
"oh, come on," you said, nudging him playfully, "i'm glad we came. this was fun. besides, he's a sweet kid."
he wondered if you were half-blind, but held his tongue. instead toji groaned, rubbing his temples, 'kidās not eating for a week."
take #5 ā brought the heat back!
it was a quiet thursday evening, the kind of night that lured people into thinking life wasnāt a complete dumpster fire. the sky was fading into a smug sort of pink, and a light breeze was making it just nice enough to forget toji's apartment was a little too warm because heād cheaped out on air conditioning.
youād accepted his invitation for dinner, and now here he was, a grown man trying to pretend he wasnāt about to impress the hell out of you with his cooking.
see, toji wasnāt just some dude who could barely boil water. nah, this man knew his way around the kitchen ā specifically around a bowl of spicy curry that could win hearts. but he couldnāt let you know that.
toji liked to think that he had a reputation to uphold: rough around the edges, dangerously hot, and way too casual about everything.
so when you walked in, he scratched the back of his head like heād just thrown the recipe together from a vague memory, muttering, "i dunno, figured i'd try somethinā new. if itās bad, thereās takeout."
except this wasnāt new. toji knew exactly what he was doing. his curry was legendary in very specific circles ā namely, his own ego.
meanwhile, megumi was hanging around the kitchen like a suspicious little gargoyle, all quiet and sneaky-eyed. that shouldāve been the first warning sign.
and when dinner was served, toji had to admit it, it looked perfect. rich, golden curry with just the right balance of spice, heat curling off the plates like a victory lap. hah, an easy win.
you had taken a polite bite, smiling at first. until your face suddenly froze like you'd just been slapped by a fire demon.
"what, it's too spicy?" toji asked, as he watched you struggle to smile. your lips twitching like they were trying to run away.
"no, no!" you wheezed, "it's ā it's really good. just got a lil' kick to it, that's all!"
kick? toji blinked. you looked as though you had been delivering a roundhouse to the face.
suspicious now, he scooped up a big bite himself. the moment it hit his tongue, he nearly choked. his sinuses exploded, his tongue went numb, and he could feel sweat instantly forming on his brow.
"what the fuck," he sputtered, slamming down his fork and lunging for his water. toji guzzled it like a man whoād just escaped a desert, while you valiantly kept nibbling as though your dignity depended on it.
megumi, sitting way too calmly at the table, didnāt even flinch. he was eating like the curry was perfectly fine, which made it even worse. this little freak.
toji squinted at his only child, "megumi. what did you do?"
"nothing," the kid said, wide-eyed and dripping with fake innocence. too fake, tsk, toji knew that look. "just...helped with the seasoning."
tojiās stomach dropped, as his blood pressure rose, "how much seasoning?"
megumi shrugged, stabbing at his rice like he wasnāt actively committing a felony, "i dunno. a lot. jus' wanted to be helpful, dad."
"y'trying to kill me? her? yourself?!"
you laughed nervously through the pain, "ah, toji. itās really not that bad ā"
"donāt lie, doll" toji snapped, shooting you a look, "sweatin' like you ran a marathon."
"so are you!" you shot back, snickering. and you werenāt wrong. toji's forehead looked like heād just finished a full-body workout.
megumi leaned back in his chair, chewing slowly, and said with an infuriating amount of smugness, "i like spicy food."
toji pointed at him, wondering if it would be easier to pick up the kid and launch him out the window, "you better start liking ramen, ācause thatās all youāre eating for the next week."
"fine with that," megumi said, clearly unbothered, "isn't that what i eat all the time anyway?ā
toji groaned, dragging a hand through his messy hair, which now stuck to his forehead in sweaty, choppy strands.hHe turned to you, desperate for some kind of redemption. "this wasnāt how it was supposed to go. itās normally amazing. i swear."
"itās fine," you laughed, even as you sipped water like your life depended on it. "honestly, i think itās kinda cute."
that threw him for a loop. "cute? whatās cute about this? i just served you a bowl of liquid hell."
you grinned, a little too amused for his liking. "itās the effort."
toji, for once in his life, had no comeback. he just sighed, defeated, and grabbed his phone to order takeout. megumi, meanwhile, looked entirely too pleased with himself, even lifting the bowl to his lips to smack away the remnants of the soup that he slurped.
interlude: the peace talks
youāre standing outside toji's dingy apartment building, where even the cracks in the walls look like theyāve seen some things. youāre not entirely sure why youāre here. okay, thatās a lie. youāre absolutely sureā itās because of him. that rough-edged, broad-shouldered man who can bench press your common sense into oblivion. but of course, youāre telling yourself itās "just to check in."
totally innocent.
you knock. a few beats of silence, then the door creaks open just wide enough for a face to peek out. it's megumi fushiguro, toji's odd kid, and his expression already screams ugh. the kind of look that says, "what does this clown want?"
"uh, hi," you say, suddenly unsure if youāre allowed to be nervous around a first grader, "is toji here?"
megumi stares at you like you just asked if the sky was plaid, "nope," he says flatly, but doesnāt move. he keeps the door partially open, like heās either waiting for you to leave or deciding if youāre even worth his time.
"oh. okay, that's fine, i'll just ā" you motion vaguely toward the stairs, already regretting this whole situation. but then the kid speaks up.
"why do you wanna see him?" his tone is casual, but his eyes? sharp like sea-glass. too sharp for someone so young. heās leaning on the doorframe now.
you blink, mind going blank.
"i donāt...i mean, i was just dropping by to say hi. thatās all."
megumi tilts his head, scrutinising you like youāre a suspect in a crime only he knows about, "do you like my dad?"
you choke on what must be your last breath on this earth, "what?! no! i mean, what are you even saying, he's..."
youāre spiralling, and megumi's smug little smirk says he knows it. Heās enjoying this way too much.
"sure," he says with a shrug, stepping back into the apartment. he leaves the door wide open like itās an invitation ā or maybe a saw trap. against your better judgment, you follow him in.
megumi plops down on the couch, picking up a laptop like youāre not even there, "youāre not the first," he mutters without looking up.
"whatās that supposed to mean?" you ask, trying to sound casual but failing miserably.
he shrugs again, still not meeting your gaze, "just saying, dadās got... fans." he says it with the kind of disdain only a kid can muster when talking about their parent, "but youāre, like... different."
"different how?" you ask, instantly regretting it. you shouldnāt engage. this is toji's kid, not your personal gossip columnist.
megumi finally looks up, one eyebrow raised, "you donāt seem as dumb as the other ones."
wow. compliment of the century. "that's way harsh. but thanks," you say dryly, crossing your arms. "and here i thought we were bonding."
thereās a flicker of something else in the child's eyes. a glimmer of protectiveness, maybe, "look, i'm just saying...donāt get your hopes up, okay? i don't think my dad's that type of guy."
you frown, perplexed at having this conversation with a child who barely comes up past your waist, "what makes you say that?"
megumi looks like heās about to launch into a powerpoint presentation on why toji fushiguro Is a walking red flag, but then he stops. his petulant expression shifts, softens, just a little, "i don't anyone to be sad."
and there it is. the kid act drops for a split second, and you see it. heās not just being a little punk ā he's protecting himself. maybe heās seen toji screw up one too many times, or maybe heās tired of people coming and going from their lives. either way, you feel a pang of sympathy.
you sit down on the edge of the couch, careful not to invade his space, "i get it,ā you say gently, "and i appreciate you looking out for me, and for your father. but...maybe your dadās not as bad as you think."
megumi snorts, "yeah, right. i think he's a mess."
"well, sometimes messy people need someone to believe in them," you say, surprising even yourself with the honesty in your voice.
he doesnāt respond right away, just stares at the laptop screen like it holds the answers to life. finally, he sighs, closing it with a decisive snap.
"fine. you can...hang out with him. or whatever. i won't pull any dumb shit,ā megumi suddenly pauses at the slip of his tongue, āwait, don't tell him i said that word. but if this screws up, i'm saying āI told you so."
he sounds like heās just agreed to let you borrow his favourite video game.
you smile, relieved, "deal."
just then, the front door opens, and in walks toji, all feathery raven hair, sweat-slicked muscles, and a duffel bag slung over his shoulder like heās just conquered a small country. he pauses when he sees you, eyebrows raising in surprise. "hey, didnāt expect to see you here," he says, voice rough but warm.
before you can respond, megumi pipes up from the couch, "we had important business."
megumi watches you leave, your footsteps echoing down the hallway. you turn back once, smiling at toji like heās just said something funny ā or maybe like heās not completely hopeless. his dad stands in the doorway, looking uncharacteristically relaxed, a satisfied smirk on his face that makes megumi's stomach churn.
how disgusting.
the second the door clicks shut, toji sighs like some kind of romantic hero from the bad drama his dad loves to secretly watch, running a hand through his choppy black hair and scratching at the back of his neck.
"isn't she cute?" coming from a guy who once tried to flirt with a waitress by asking her how many push-ups she thought he could do.
toji disappears into his room, leaving young, burdened megumi stranded on the couch with his thoughts. his dad ā the six-foot-four slab of muscle and bad decisions who calls protein shakes "wizard juice" ā is clearly falling for you. and honestly? megumi doesnāt hate the idea. youāre nice. you donāt talk down to him like other adults, and you donāt smell like motor oil and regret like toji's usual crowd.
but toji? his dad couldnāt woo a cactus. if this is going to happen, megumi's going to have to step in. it's the responsible thing to do.
he grabs his laptop again, boots it up, and clicks on the email icon with all the gravitas of a general preparing for war.
to: [email protected] from: [email protected] subject: hey gojo i need help message: hey gojo i need help.
he hits send, satisfied. within ten minutes, thereās a reply. gojo's always on his computer nowadays, swamped by senior finals.
to: [email protected] from: [email protected] subject: re: hey gojo i need help message: why are u emailing me. i feel weird emailing a six year old.
megumi rolls his eyes. heās six, not stupid. he definitely thinks he's smarter than gojo satoru.
to: [email protected] from: [email protected] subject: re: re: hey gojo i need help message: i think my dad has a crush.
thereās a pause. megumi imagines goji sitting in his weirdly pristine apartment downstairs, wearing those stupid sunglasses he insists are cool, trying to process what he just read.
the reply comes in two words.
to: [email protected] from: [email protected] subject: re: re: re: hey gojo i need help message: come downstairs.
then another one.
to: [email protected] from: [email protected] subject: re: re: re: hey gojo i need help message: letās debrief. i got cookies.
megumi shuts his laptop, slides off the couch, and heads for the door. it's time someone with real intelligence got involved.
megumi fushiguro sits at the kitchen table, eating rainbow cereal and trying to ignore the way his dad is pacing the room like a stressed-out gorilla. toji fushiguro, a walking, grunting tank of a man, is mumbling under his breath about "women" and "bad timing" and something about his shirt being "too tight." not that his dad has any normal shirts ā just those stupid gym shirts.
megumi, as the only person in this house with half a brain cell, knows exactly whatās going on. his dad's got it bad for you.
not that he thinks that his dad would admit it. no, his dad's strategy for dealing with his obvious feelings is to act like a complete idiot whenever youāre around. last time, he dropped a dumbbell on himself while trying to show off. the time before that, he laughed so hard at one of your jokes he spat coffee everywhere. megumi had to clean it up.
so yeah, his dad was hopeless, and apparently, itās megumi's job to fix it.
but megumi doesnāt think of himself as a matchmaker. he thinks of himself as a tortured genius, forced to live among lesser idiots. and frankly, he doesnāt even like the idea of his dad dating. because that's gross.
but the truth is, megumi's tired of toji stomping around the apartment like a lovesick rhino, and if getting you and his dad together means toji might finally stop asking megumi if his hair looks "cool," then so be it.
he starts small. when you knock on the door that afternoon, megumi answers and blocks the entrance like a bouncer, just like gojo told him to.
"oh, dad's not here again," he says, casual.
your face falls, and megumi immediately clocks it. bingo.
"you're in luck today, lady. wait here," he interrupts, darting inside, "i'll grab him."
except his dad is in there, muttering something about a broken pipe in the kitchen, while tapping furiously on his phone. megumi marches in, hands on his hips.
"i let her in," he announces, like a town crier.
his dad looks up, like a deer caught in the headlights of his own stupidity, "what? why didnāt you tell me? damn punk," he scrambles for a shirt.
"i'm telling you now, dad," megumi says, dully, "also, youāre acting like a weirdo. just go talk to her. ask her out."
toji freezes, halfway into his shirt, "what's gotten into you, kid? gonna drop a knife on me, huh? what am i supposed to say?"
megumi resists the urge to roll his eyes so hard they fall out of his head, "i don't know. say hi to her. maybe don't mention the gym."
his dad frowns, "you're six, punk. what do you know? people like hearing about that shit."
"not normal people."
once toji is finally presentable ā or as presentable as a man with permanent bedhead and a scar on his lip can be ā megumi ushers him out of the room. then, like the misunderstood mastermind he is, megumi follows quietly, lurking behind the door to eavesdrop.
toji opens the door to find you standing there, fiddling with the strap of your bag. his usual dumb smirk creeps onto his face, "hey, didnāt expect to see you here," he says, leaning on the doorframe like he thinks heās starring in a cologne commercial.
"yeah, i was just...in the neighborhood," you say, sounding way too nervous for someone who claims this is a casual visit.
megumi winces. theyāre hopeless. this is your neighbourhood, too.
toji scratches the back of his neck, a nervous tick Megumiās only seen when heās trying not to embarrass himself, "well, uh, you wanna come in? i was just... doing some cleaning. we can...talk, or some shit like that."
megumi knows for a fact that there's a lie in toji's words. the only cleaning his dad's ever done is shoving everything into the closet and calling it "organised."
but somehow, it works. you step inside, smiling at him like he just offered you free ice cream. now, that would be a decent offer.
from his spot behind the door, megumi mentally pats himself on the back. phase one: complete. he decides to clock out, flopping back on his rumpled bed to pull his laptop back out, immediately logging back onto his game.
but by the time you leave an hour later, toji looks like he just won the lottery. youāre smiling too, waving awkwardly before heading down the stairs. and ugh, gross! you lean in and press a soft kiss to toji's cheek before you turn.
as soon as the door shuts, toji leans against it and lets out the most ridiculous sigh megumi has ever heard.
"hah, kid. she likes me," his dad says, grinning like a lovesick idiot.
megumi, standing in the doorway to the kitchen, crosses his arms, "that's foul. but no thanks to you."
his dad opens one sharp green eye at him, and scowls. "whatās that supposed to mean?"
"it means," megumi says, feeling a lifetime of bribery for ice-cream excite him, "you owe me. big time."
tojiās standing in the doorway, looking at megumi like he just asked him to join some cult. he scratches the back of his head, giving megumi that look ā like heās trying to figure out what the hell his kid is up to now.
"eh, you look weird today," toji mutters, a half-smirk tugging at his lips. he reaches down and ruffles megumiās hair like itās no big deal, making it stick up even more. his hair gets all spiky and untamable, and megumi scowls, smoothing it down, trying (and failing) to get his dark spikes to behave.
"yeah, whatever, dad," megumi mutters under his breath as toji turns and saunters off into his room. tojiās probably about to do a hundred push-ups and gloat to himself. megumi can already hear the dumb grunting from the other room.
as soon as tojiās gone, megumi sits back down at the table, shoveling a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.
for once, the apartment is quiet. no random phone calls, no weird people showing up, no random training sessions that sound more like a one-man wrecking crew than āexercise.ā just peace.
itās bliss.
he takes another bite of cereal, enjoying the calm and the fact that someone else is going to have to deal with tojiās nonsense for once. itās about time.
to: [email protected] from: [email protected] subject: mission accomplished message: it worked. my dad's in love.
a few seconds later, gojoās reply pops up.
to: [email protected] from: [email protected] subject: re: mission accomplished message: that's great! wanna help me with the guy i like?
megumi squints at the screen, blinking twice. he closes his laptop with all the gravity of someone who has just solved world peace.
to: [email protected] from: [email protected] subject: re: re: mission accomplished message: no.
#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#megumi fushiguro#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fluff#toji x you#jjk toji#works
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"Ahh, but you have to not fear death, becau--"
"Oh, cool! Not a problem I'm already dead. Well, half dead!"
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"w h a t ? ? ?"
A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe youāve gone through your whole school life without reading it, itās good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didnāt even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. Iā"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fuā"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they donāt need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'heās your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
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