#but zander doesn't know that

[erstwhles]

moore-wright, party of four / @musicallyiinclined

"Hey, is everything okay?" He hasn't had a chance to check his phone to see if he has missed anything else, but he knows it isn't usual to get a call from Zander when they are both in the same city. "Hoping to wrap things up here soon and then I'll be heading back to the house." All that is left now, after the last media availability, is clearing out his stall for the summer and meeting with his coach to discuss his performance throughout the season. It's the time of year that encompasses everything Liam hates about the job, but at least he has plenty to look forward to this offseason, including what it means for their family.

Who knew that the decision to start taking the steps to grow their family would be the easy part? Compared to the waiting and the knowledge of how many little decisions are going to have to be made, their early conversations feel like a breeze now. "I'll see you soon?"

[riisume]

Please Miss Maeve just one chance.... 💍

[spoiledblogif]

Join the Patreon for chapter demos, shorts, and early chapter releases.

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This is the development blog for the interactive fiction called "The Second Sight", which you can find on itch.io at the link above!

This is my first IF project, although I've been writing original stories and fanfiction for years.

I've included the story description and character profiles from the itch page below the cut.

This blog will be a combination of development info, images and music that I associate with the story, and other musings.

Fair warning, there might be spoilers from the latest chapters here, so I recommend catching up before reading too far.

Asks and submissions are always open.

You’re an urban legend in a county full of them.  When you were thirteen, you were found passed out in the road by one of the local cops. No missing persons report. No fingerprints on file. No memories. Just a name.

Oh, and some bizarre psychic powers.  You're content with simplicity. You like your isolated cabin and helping Carter track down missing persons.  You know that in theory there are more people like you out there, but you've never wanted to look behind the curtain to find out.

However, with the disappearance of a local teen named Casey Powell and a recent attempt on your foster father's life, your serene, isolated life comes abruptly to its end and a new chapter begins.

✤✤✤

The Second Sight is an urban fantasy story, where you step into the role of a psychic whose strange powers have always separated them from others. Those same powers will drag you down the rabbit hole and into a world that is both the familiar and foreign to everything you know. A world filled with magic, witches, fae, demons, and the unknown.

You can immerse yourself in the story by customizing your protagonist's general appearance, choosing how they interact with others, and whether you lean on logic or intuition to problem solve. There are three love interests planned (more may be added depending on player reception and feedback), the genders of which will be selected by the player upon meeting them.

Characters

Jacob Carter

Age: Late forties

Race: Human. Definitely.

Gender: Male

Temperament: Carter radiates grizzled, old bastard energy and despite being the least paternal person in the world, he is your adoptive father. While harsh and aloof on the surface, he is also fiercely protective of you and has bent over backwards to give a decent life to a kid that isn't even his. He doesn't talk about his life before coming to Herman County and you haven't asked him, though that might change soon enough...

✤✤✤

Zander/Zora

Age: Late twenties.

Race: Human.

Appearance: Umber brown skin, black locs, grey eyes

Temperament: Gentle and resolute, Z isn't what you imagine when you think of an agent of the mysterious Magic and Anomalies Bureau. Kind, soft-spoken, and exceedingly polite, Z is Carter's former apprentice and something about them puts the old man on edge.

✤✤✤ Renard/Rowan

Age: Appears to be in their late twenties or early thirties

Race: Human. Maybe.

Appearance: Tall and slender, white-blonde hair, and gold eyes.

Temperament: Playful and flirtatious, talking to R always feels like a game of cat and mouse and you can never be sure which role is yours. Part sad clown, part trickster, and always maddening to work with, the only things you can be certain of with R is that they probably know what they're doing. Everything else is up in the air.

✤✤✤

Unknown aka "The Kestrel"

Age: ???

Race: Definitely not human.

Appearance: Tall, beautiful, elegant, with black hair and black eyes.

Temperament: The Kestrel is a complete unknown. It's impossible to say whether they are a lethal ally or deadly enemy, but either way they are a powerful dreamwalker. You don't know how long they've been watching you, but you're willing to bet that it's been longer than you're comfortable with.

[cator99]

please finish your wedding story, i so badly want to hear the rest of it. i await eagerly.

>everyone lived happily ever after

>a few weeks pass

>I write the brides a lengthy and detailed letter of recommendation to their immigration lawyer

>they're overjoyed and think its a beautiful letter, and I'm glad to help because I hope they last forever and get everything they want in life, if I may drop the act and be sincere for a moment

>a few days pass. the bride I've known for over 15 years messages me

>however... she doesn't care. she's on her honeymoon. and I'm just some chick she was friends with as a kid. what does upset her is how she found out.

>at first I assume that the woman who reached out to her (who I knew back in jr high, and is a few years older than me) was just trying to upset her

>bride tells me about how this woman was her best friend and then suddenly blocked her out of nowhere, which was (and is) still very painful for her

>the woman, who we will refer to as "A" whips up a story about being concerned for the bride's safety and privacy or something

>bride is confused. there's no identifying information. the post is a nothingburger to her. what's important here is that she's upset that this woman messaged her after 4 years, not to make things right..... but to talk about "zander"

>right, this is about me, because this is "A" we're talking about here...... hell hath no fury like a closet case scorned

how did she find my blog?

I assume it went like this:

>"A" goes to peek at her ex-bestie's wedding photos

>"Zander" Spotted

>runs to LC

>"hey does anyone remember Zander who I used to post about on here all the time 7 years ago? I may have found an update!"

>"that's terf cator99 who was posted about on the Women Youre Ashamed To Want To Fuck thread you fucking idiot that looks nothing like her"

>no here's proof!

>autism ensues

>several replies get deleted, other responses indicate they're "A" sperging and linking my blog

>people argue if I deserve to be there anymore

>"she's a tif"

>"no"

> yes"

>"no"

>"I used to know her" ["A" posting]

>"tell us more!"

>"she used to have this one pair of glasses and then she had this other pair of glasses that looked really good on her..."

meanwhile:

>assume she's probably back on her LC shit

>find and link bride to the LC thread and explain to her that "A" has just been trolling for fun and to pay it no mind, you're better off without her in your life

>"hey bride-chan, not to be weird but I'm just trying to understand this shit, do you think A ever had a thing for me... I always kind of assumed she was bi or gay when we were younger and thought it was cool that she was androgynous and went to school dressed as Kaito from vocaloid all the time so I wanted to be her friend but she was pretty rude to people and I backed off"

>"well i dont know but she's married to a man now..."

>yet here she is trying to get under the skin of two women who are with other women

to be fair I earned the lolcow title fair and square years ago all on my own, and really do feel I owe "A" a favor for introducing me to the site. it was very formative for me to find out places like that existed right at the moment I was starting to have conflicting thoughts about the trans shit so I could gain some self-awareness (and general awareness overall) (shout out to "A"s friend who cowtipped to me.....)

meanwhile, on LC:

>"well done ladies, we've figured it all out. Butch Lesbian cator99 is currently partying with gay men, and It is common knowledge that "gay men" are all secretly bisexuals who are looking to hook up with women who say things like "I'm a lesbian" and "I am not attracted to males". That is their mating call, in fact. These words activate the Hetero gland in the Amygdala like a sleeper agent who has been biologically programmed– as we all are– to stop the kiki-ing and split off into heterosexual pairings at the end of a poppers-fuelled night assless-twerking to Britney."

>"good work. But I'll one-up you: look at this screenshot."

[photo from an instagram account, featuring a photo of 17 year old Zander's legs in the bath. "I Am Totally Into Epic Awesome Penis Now!!!!!!" (She had never seen a penis)]

>"yes, this is definitely a normal thing for a straight woman to say. I always knew she was a faker."

>"yes. as im sure you're all aware, there are many social and career benefits from pretending to be a lesbian."

>"doesn't that idiot know that she can't just lie and change her orientation? I can't believe she's been straight this whole time."

>"what does she have to gain from lying?"

>"She's so adamant about being a lesbian, which is a dead giveaway for a cover-up operation. The more they resist, the more evident it is that they are lying in order to gain access to that highly lauded Online Lesbian Following, which is something every straight woman wants deep down."

meanwhile:

>call gf

>"bad news. I just found out I'm actually straight."

[ghostify--2]

I will always personally like Hailey more than Drew

For me personally, I find that the character who's a victim of bullying is much more loveable to me than the bully is. Because we all have to admit, that despite headcanons, despite the fact Drew brought up some good points in the Drakeup, Drew is still a bully, and he has been since middle school. He's not an innocent angel, and he simply just decided to drop Jake once Jake became fully himself. Drew's judgemental and genuinely not a good person, and I think some people forget that. Of course, liking an antagonist or a character who's not a good person is completely okay!! The issue is when you try to justify the antagonists bad behaviour, and oh man, have I seen people do that with Drew. I don't care if he has family issues, is insecure, has mental health issues, or anything like that (in this context, obviously I would still feel bad for him if he was facing such struggles), it doesn't justify his behaviour. The bottom line is, bullying isn't okay in any context (unless it's like a p3do or smth... in that case go crazy!!)

And there's more to me loving Hailey than the fact she's a bullying victim. Contrary to popular opinion, but I love how Hailey is so sensitive. I know people say she has "y/n moments" and that she's overdramatic, but honestly, there's nothing wrong with being sensitive. Sensitive people always try their best to be kind, despite how exhausting life is, being the way they are. Being hyper-sensitive is like walking around without your skin on, and the littlest thing can hurt you on a big scale. So hypersensitive people will try their best to make sure other people don't feel as awful as they often do. Also, Hailey always makes amends in situations where she did something wrong, or situations where someone needs to be forgiven (unlike Drew). Not saying everyone has to forgive everything, but she's very mature in that sense. The day after arguing with Drew, after she was provoked and repeatedly bothered and lashed out as a result of it, she apologized to Jake for getting angry. What apology was offered by the Dromies for barging in and provoking Hailey? None. And in episode 10, Hailey was genuinely considering talking to him about what he'd said, because she didn't think he actually believed what he'd said. But then Zander (oh, so cynical and traumatized, I love him) convinced her to think otherwise. However, she still clearly wanted to make amends with Jake. And when she did, she said she didn't regret letting Jake into the club, and that she forgave him. SLAYYY SLAYYYYYY!! Also wanna add I see people acting like bullies when talking about Hailey. I get not everyone is snowflake like me but come on guys... did you miss the plot of the show?

Overall this is just an anti-bullying, pro-Hailey post. Thank you for reading :3!!

[arclic-stuff]

Symbiotic Relationship - Chapter 1

PAIRING: Grayson x fem OC

SUMMARY: Besides her agreement with Zander, Grayson communicates with a reliable informant—her ex-wife, Tatianna. Tatianna is a Zaunite Merchant—a caterer by day and a smuggler by night. Together, they try to maintain peace between their cities, benefiting each other greatly and creating a symbiotic relationship they both have been craving. 

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: Hehe guess who's finally posting! It's been hard finding the time to write and figure out the structure for this story but at least it's starting haha. Very excited to share it and write more of the chapters. I hope y'all enjoy it. Have no idea how quick I'll do the next chapters but I'm sure it'll be soon:)))

______________________________________________________________

Festivities were in full swing within the Piltover Country Club as the Kirammans prepared for an afternoon of celebrations. Outwith its walls in the calm countryside, two competitors engaged in friendly conversation. 

"I'm an enforcer. For me, knowing how to handle this weapon means being able to protect people. To be of service to the city. And that's trophy enough. Begs the question, young Kiramman. What are you shooting for?"

Before the girl can respond, her mother, Cassandra, beckons her inside. She dashes up the steps, stopping to look back at Grayson. "This isn't over, Sheriff," she narrows her eyes, pouting as she ascends the steps into the building.

Grayson continues to embrace the calm silence, the smell of the forest, and the taste of her wine. She takes one final inhale before acknowledging the familiar figure hiding in the background since she came outside.

"Are you going to lurk in the shadows all night, Ms Brauer?"

With that, Anna Brauer strides into view, her heels hitting the stone pavement and her jacket drifting in the breeze. Dawning an olive green jacket, she was also clad in an all-black suit, her white skirt's top buttons undone, showing her jewellery cluster around her neck. Her long black hair was pulled into a bun, elevating her appearance and almost making her look taller. Grayson made note of Tatianna's grey strands twisting around her head; she had finally stopped dying over them, which Grayson found admirable.

"Just making sure I didn't interrupt the fan club," Anna says, standing parallel to Grayson and leaning on the balcony.

Grayson chuckles. "She's a good kid. She means well."

"She insinuated that you took a bribe and threw the competition." Anna raises an eyebrow and looks at Grayson.

"Aw, protecting my honour? You'll make me blush," Grayson jests, poking Anna with her elbow, making the smaller woman roll her eyes in response.

"Just think the little gremlin should watch her tongue", Anna uttered at a lowered volume, tilting her head towards the party where the girl was now socialising.

Grayson moves closer to whisper, "You should lower your voice, dear. That 'gremlin' is the daughter of a councillor." She chuckles. "And besides, you know I'd never take a bribe". 

Anna put her hands up in surrender. "Or throw the competition? Right?"

Grayson doesn't respond; she simply rubs the back of her neck, looking anywhere but Anna's suspecting eyes.

"Oh, for fucksake, Grayson!" Anna groans, slapping Grayson on the forearm.

Grayson blocks the last few playful hits, laughing in the process. "What! She deserved the win! She's had a hard time with exams, and Cassandra put a lot of pressure on her to do well today. And anyway, I'm not beating my goddaughter."

Grayson had been a close friend of the Kiramans for a few years before Caitlyn was born, but it was still a surprise when Cassandra asked her to be her Godmother. As strange as it felt, it was one of the best things in her life—watching her grow up, teaching her to shoot, be headstrong, and do all the other things she had hoped to do one day with her own family.

Anna sighs, shaking her head. "You've gone, soft, Gray," she says before reaching into her jacket for a beige folder — the main reason for their meetup.

This month's conclusive report focused on the City of Zaun and all notable events or changes within its walls. Anna reluctantly slid the folder to the Sheriff. Even though she knew logically it was for the best, she still couldn't help but feel like a traitor to her people and to her home. The report showcased lists of new businesses, crime states, and this month's headliner: the death of a Chem-Baron.  

Although Chem-Baron Arlo passed peacefully in his sleep, he left behind chaos as his sons fought for the family business.

"All I can say is that I hope the youngest son doesn't take over; Finn is ambitious but reckless; Zaun doesn't need that" Anna waits for a response, then glances over to Grayson, reading, entirely focused on the pages in front of her. Anna takes the opportunity to watch her for a moment. She watches as her eyes dart across the pages, breathing steadily through her nose, the breeze shifting her hair into her eyes. As she flicks to the last page, her expression shifts from concentration to mild irritation, furrowing her brows before speaking.

Anna knows exactly what she's reacting to. Twice a year, Anne has a large shipment of stock transported into Zaun via Piltover's trade routes. Anne gets two shipments that aren't inspected yearly in exchange for being an informant. She uses this for her more valuable goods like medicine for the Zaun shelters - in the past, the shipments have been 'lost' or 'confiscated' by the enforcers with legal loopholes purely because of the shipment's destination. Grayson's leniency allows essential medicine to reach Zaun's unfortunate, something she holds onto to try to forget the dubious contents hidden within.

"This shipment is way bigger than last time." Grayson looks up accusingly, her mouth pressed into a thin line.

"The demand increased; it's for the—" Anna tried to explain the changes but was cut off by a raised hand.

"I don't want to know Tatianna" Grayson sighed, shutting the folder in her left hand and downing her drink with the other. She regrets using that tone with Anne but doesn't want to know. She knows Anne has to smuggle for unsavoury clients to pay the bills and that the jobs allow her to give back to the poorer Zaunites, but it still makes Grayson feel dirty like she's no different from the corrupt enforcers she swore to root out.

It's for the greater good; it helps Zaun and Anna.

Anna felt the atmosphere shift and was reminded of the distance between them. It didn't happen often, but sometimes, when interacting with Grayson, Anna would be transported back to when they first met, when things were simpler. When she broke from this trance, she would feel the emptiness in her chest that always lingered in Sheiff's presence. As soon as she felt it creeping back in, she ran.

"As always, Sheriff, it's been a pleasure. See you next month," Anna said with a comedic curtsey before turning on her heels to walk past Grayson. However, before she could take her first step to freedom, Grayson stepped in front, slighting her, stopping her in her tracks.  

"Are you not staying?" Grayson sheepishly asked, avoiding eye contact. She knew the answer, but every time Anna tried to make a speedy exit, Grayson would try to make her stay in a last-ditch attempt to reminisce for a little longer in the fantasy.

"I can't. I have a meeting with a new client in the morning, some industrialist is looking for a new trade route. I'll see you around Gray." As she walks around Grayson to leave, she gives Grayson's shoulder a light squeeze. To onlookers, it was a subtle goodbye gesture, but they both felt Anna's hand linger a second longer than it should.  

Grayson is left outside alone, her own hand replacing Anna's, where she touched her shoulder moments ago. She looked out at the grounds, which were now shrouded in sunset lighting. The same surroundings Grayson had found peace in now felt cold and empty. Cold and empty like the house the first day she came home without Anna there to greet her. Even after all these years, Grayson always felt this way after their meetings. She wondered if Anna ever felt the same; maybe she had moved on or was just as miserable as Grayson felt now - Grayson didn't like either option for her ex.

Feeling her thoughts spiral, she shook her head and took a deep breath.

What good will those thoughts do? It's all in the past now, and that's where it should stay.

[mogai-sunflowers]

I hate it when I can't use a term that fits me very well because my brain (which processes everything with images) has an image of that term that doesn't look like me.

Like when I think of "transmasc" and all that pops into my head are skinny, white, American boys with very basic styles (which isn't a bad thing, it's just "too basic" for me personally), and of course, who look like cis boys and hate their bodies or prefer other body.

Meanwhile, I'm a POC, fat, Latine person, with questionable style (/joke), who CERTAINLY doesn't look like a cis boy and who really loves their body.

How could I use a term when my brain tells me that term doesn't fit people like me? I hate that. It's just me?

hey anon. i so wish I could reach through this screen and tell you that who you are is perfect and that you have every right to terminology that feels right, but as a fat trans person myself I know it takes more than kind words to deal with a pain like this, and one that’s even more intersectional than mine with your race and culture in the picture.

but that image you have in your head of what transmasc means, that is not the reality. that is what a small part of the community, of the world, WANTS you to think because they would rather throw other members of their community under the bus to gain faux acceptance for themselves, which is NOT your fault, but it’s also not everyone, there are so many people in this community who look like you or who truly stand with you. Transmasculine history is and never has been white or thin or any of that.

I’m going to link a few things you may want to look into if you’re wanting to start accepting your identity a little more, or just to see that you really ARENT alone. trans men/transmascs of color have been part of our history since the beginning. some of these things im sharing may be somewhat nsfw and have the word 'tranny' in them, just as a warning if that stuff bothers you.

newspaper clipping showing three trans men of color at a festival for a film they were part of, the first ever sexual/porn film by and for trans men of color

some pictures showing some fat trans men and trans men of color at marches are here

Bobby Cheung, the Asian and Pacific Islander trans man who won the Mr. Transgender San Francisco Pageant in 2004

trans men of color discuss intersectionality in a film they directed called "Trappings Of Transhood"

a photo showing the attendees of an FTM conference- you can see many non-white people in attendance

a photo of a group of Latino trans men who attended Tranny Fest in 1999

basic info on victor j mukasa, a Black transmasc lesbian active in East African LGBTQ rights scene

an older fat trans gentleman's photo and experience

a post on pauli murray (please look them up. his experience is much more nuanced than this post gives them credit for, and she was a wonderful intersectional activist)

various trans men (many fat and of color) who have contributed to our history

a conference of Indian trans men

the story of a trans man named Ben

one of my personal favorite transmasc historical figures, Amelio Robles Ávila

Zander Keig, the fat Latino trans man who won social worker of the year in 2020

a wonderful read on the intersectionality of transmasculinity and race

a digital archive of trans and queer Latino history

the Instagram page of a popular Black drag king

an article with interviews with various drag kings, including several of color

Florence Hines, the Black drag king once called the most excellent male impersonator in America

more drag kings many of color!

Drag Kings: An Archaeology of Spectacular Masculinities in Latino America

anon, it is so easy to feel like you are alone when your own history has been unfairly erased from you. but when I say “you are not alone”, I am not offering empty words of comfort- YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Transmasc and similar identity has truly NEVER actually been just for white people or thin people. You are WONDERFUL, and you are ABSOLUTELY a part of trans masculinity and transmasculine history is YOUR history and community as much as it is mine and others. You belong.

[captain-ravioli7321]

i think jake from TMF has BPD (borderline personality disorder). Heres why.

CONTENT WARNINGS: spoilers for all of the music freaks season 1. mentions of bullying and trauma. if something i put here comes from a place of misinformation or personal bias please let me know im tryna keep misinformation out but i am not immune to it sadly...

i think he shows a lot of little signs over the series but im only gonna put the BIGGEST ones here

Impulsivity - This might be more invocative of ADHD (which i also HC he has), but it's also a BPD thing. He doesn't hesitate to be generous or do things for his friends, even to a severe extent. In episode 4, Jake yells out "DID YOU SAY ZANDER?!" When Hailey confirms Luke's crush. He didn't hesitate to blackmail Zoey for Millie, and he didn't hesitate to offer an entire gaming laptop to Sean in episode 6.

Black and white thinking (to a minor degree!!) - In episode 3, Jake blackmails Zoey in order to get Millie's diary, as I mentioned in the paragraph above. He does it with practically zero hesitation, and it's not until Millie says "You blackmailed your friend for me?" that he realizes his actions are maybe not the most moral, when he says "Well, when you put it like that..." People with BPD tend to see things as all good or all bad. Jake probably saw his actions as all good at the time he did them, but he sees blackmail itself as all bad.

Black and white thinking (to a SEVERE degree) - This is most prominent in episode 9. Notice how surprisingly easy it was for Drew and his friends to push Jake into saying that nasty stuff about the music club and about Hailey? I theorize that they triggered a split. He was already emotionally vulnerable due to jealousy after seeing Sean and Daisy hanging out together. (jealousy is also a sign of BPD, but i don't wanna dedicate a whole paragraph to jealousy since this is the biggest time he shows jealousy.) Him being egged on made him say things that he regretted right away. His expression in the episode as he's saying this stuff- I don't think he was putting on a show for his friends. I think- even if only for a moment- he genuinely believed that they were using him, even if he came back to his senses soon after.

Fear of abandonment or rejection - This causes most of the conflicts in the series, and is EASILY his most prominent BPD trait. Despite the fact Drew and his friends are toxic to Jake (whether they know it or not), Jake still clings onto them. He knows how they feel about his passion for music, that's why it took him so god damn long to even say out loud to them that he has a passion for it- he's seen how they reject and bully anyone with a passion for music, and he's terrified of being rejected by them in any way, and I think this goes further than just not wanting to be bullied again. In episode 6, Jake is about to tell Drew that he's having a rehearsal with the Music Club- but Drew says "Wait, don't tell me.." In a frustrated tone, which triggers Jake's fear of abandonment, prompting him to say that he got grounded, rather than telling him the truth. Despite him knowing Drew and his friends are at the mall, he agrees to go against his better judgement, also showing people-pleasing tendancies (Which go alongside fear of abandonment.) The entire conflict in "Wavering Between" is Jake struggling to let go of friends who don't support his passion. The entire reason he struggles so badly to communicate effectively to his old friends is because he KNOWS how they feel about the music club. It's the whole reason why he bullied people with them for so long, he didn't want to be rejected by them. And it's not just his old friends that trigger this as well. In episode 5, when Millie mentions it's a good thing they have TWO good singers in the club, Jake immediately gets upset. This thought bothers him for what seems to be a few days. "Why did they let me in the club if Hailey can sing?" The next quote is DIRECTLY from episode 5. "Do they even need me?" In episode... 7 or 8? I'm pretty sure it's 8, I can't remember and I don't feel like checking- when Hailey is initially hesitant to duet with Jake (before Jake knows about her stage fright), he immediately takes it personally. It isn't until Hailey opens up about her stage fright that he stops blaming himself. When Jake sees Hailey snap at Lia, he near instantly assumes that it's because she's upset with him over pressing the idea of a duet. In episode 9 when Zander plays the recording of Jake talking behind his back, he immediately starts to panic. It's clear he isn't thinking straight, and he's scrambling to find an explanation. He literally cannot explain himself in this scene. The most accurate explanation he gives here is "They egged me on, and I shouldn't have listened!". He genuinely does not understand how his view of The Music Club switched so quickly, which I personally think is invocative of someone with undiagnosed BPD.

Cognitive Dissonance - This itself isn't a sign of BPD, but is a side effect of multiple symptoms of BPD like impulsivity, fear of abandonment, and splitting behavior. In episode 7, he beats himself up for having bullied The Music Club before. And yet when Hailey asks why Jake's still friends with them despite them being assholes, he doesn't hold them to the same standards as himself. He beats himself up for things he tries to excuse when it's Drew and his gang.

What about the root cause?

BPD is caused by a variety of factors, including genetics and environment... but especially childhood trauma. Did you know people who grow up with undiagnosed autism are significantly more likely to develop Borderline Personality Disorder? Yeah. (I personally headcanon Jake as autistic.) But of course, that's just a headcanon. What isn't a headcannon- he was bullied his entire childhood. It's severely affected him, and I believe that this is what caused him to develop BPD. Persistent bullying can cause someone to experience a distorted self-image, and internalized feelings of worthlessness can contribute to BPD. Being rejected by peers can create a fear of rejection and abandonment, and bullying often disrupts someone's ability to form healthy relationships, and repeated mistreatment can make it difficult to trust others. And growing up in an invalidating environment can prevent them from being able to develop healthy coping mechanisms.

And in autism? Constantly being forced to mask for survival makes it extremely difficult for someone to figure out who they really are- leading to the identity disturbances common in BPD.

Conclusion!!!

While I'm not a professional in psychology, I think I've informed myself enough about BPD to at least make an assumption. And I know my friends are tired about me constantly trying to yap to them about this, LOL.

How do you feel about this headcanon? If you have BPD yourself, do you see yourself in Jake? PLEASE GOD COMMENT UNDER THIS I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO YAP TO ABOUT THIS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'LL EXPLODE

thank you for reading allat!!!!!!!

TLDR: jake has severe fear of abandonment, impulsivity, black and white thinking, and lack of self-esteem that leads me to believe he may have BPD!!!

[tropicalcontinental]

This is so based in fact I spiraled out of these tags into an AU of an AU, crazy innit?

Here are the doodles I did based off these tags my ramblings will be below the read more lol

Okay, so in the whole AwesomeG and Zander AU (I have dubbed it the Finding Peace AU), AwesomeG and Zander both become entities/ghosts in the machine after their untimely deaths and travel through other minecraft instances to find Zander's unamed friend, beat Souler up for being an asshole, and find peace along the way.

But in the crossover AU which I shall dub uhhh Chasing Souls, AwesomeG ends up in quite the peculiar minecraft instance (its Smilerrrrrr's 💥💥💥 specifically the second world with the bigger green house)

AwesomeG kind of hangs about this kid, not really making their presence known. But, the kid seems a bit lonely. And something about the world that rubs AwesomeG the wrong way. They have taken the mantle to defend this world from anything malevolent. It sticks to them like mildew.

So they introduce themself! Through chat of course (I legit forgot Hungry can talk through chat and not just in-game text.) And AwesomeG hopes the kid doesn't freak out and log off. And while he does seem a bit put off, he replies back!

And so they kick it off! AwesomeG is always there to be by tia kid's side whenever he logs on. And while they can't meet face to face (weird ghost gore stuff happens when anyone looks at AwesomeG, and they don't want that to happen with their newest friend), they still have fun! Building together. Naming animals together. Just he and AwesomeG.

It probably escalates until their friend tells them about the wells. They're magical, kind of just like you AwesomeG!

And then it clicks. Is that what's been bugging them? The wells?

And then the water above his head becomes clear. Large, depressing droplets circling and wavering above his head. Looming. An omen.

And then AwesomeG tries to steer him away from this thing. From these wells that preys on his friend. Because friends care about each other. They defend each other, and help each other. Because that's what friends are for.

And their friend says that they don't go down the wells anymore. So it's in their favor. Everything will work out.

Then it happens. The bullies. And AwesomeG does what they do best;they haunt.

So like, the sting of betrayal is still here. Smiler still spirals, but slower in this AU. And like, AwesomeG mitigates the damage done to the world and lowkey traumatized some hooligans with their corpse but its whateverrrrrr.

And yet after everything clears, the mark on their friend had become larger. And larger, and heavier and heavier and heavier. And theres only so much a lone spector can do.

So their friend says farewell. And their friend becomes Smiler. And their friends asks them to stay like last time. That they can be together forever in the well. Now they're the same! And now they can play this game to gheir hearts content. And Smiler can even look at AwesomeG now, isn't that amazing? (Entities can perceive each other just fine I reckon.)

But AwesomeG says no. It shouldn't have come to this. And Smiler gets confused. Because weren't they friends? They are friends. But their leaving him behind. Saying no to being friends forever. What happened? What changed? Why did they change? Was it all a lie? Were they just like them?

So uh, since AwesomeG died before hearing the Call of the Well, they're able to resist it. Or perhaps it calls upon them about a peace so gentle they wouldn't have to worry about heaven. Or maybe AwesomeG's religious belief beats out false promises, idk.

So AwesomeG wanders again. Traversing these wells onto maps and empty worlds.

Until a new one opens up.

And they tell him to stop.

AwesomeG is to Chris is kinda like what Chris is to Andrew. In the whole guidance sense, not friendship. AwesomeG tries to push Chris away from the wells to prevent another Smiler, which they probably feel guilty for. But Smiler already knows.

Oh and AwesomeG meets Zander around, eh, Septmeber 2017? They travel through Gridworld now. Trying to find pieces of Zander's soul and his friend and trying to help Chris and keep Smiler at bay and.

And it's the same steps tread. And they try to stop and reach beyond the machine (if Hungry can infiltrate minds, so can AwesomeG but for good this time 💥💥💥) to get Chris on a level head but it's too much. Like last time. And they fail again, like last time.

So now it's Andrew to be the third. And AwesomeG is like a more stubborn Chris at this point, in terms of motivation at the beginning of the AG67 series. They want to keep Andrew oblivious, like full on Lethe Protocol, forget everything and never look back. And Chris of course changes throughout the series, but perhaps AwesomeG becomes a new obstacle, but like the opposite problem.

But since AwesomeG is just a kid, a very guilt ridden and scared kid in this AU, and since I drew them and Chris hugging, they reconcile :]

Oh and Zander is there chilling. And Souler gets beat up because I say so (literal random piece of off the rails AU headcanon but Souler cant claim Andrew's, Chris', or Smiler's souls because they're marked by the Call of the Well already. First come first serve or whatever)

Okay enough rambling bye bye

[musicallyiinclined]

"Of course not, but are you really going to tell me the thought didn't cross your mind?" Zander asks with a laugh, eyes rolling fondly as he watches Liam check his hair for himself. His expression softens as Indy does the same, emotion swelling in his chest and causing a lump to form in his throat. It's been tough for their family ever since Liam's trade, a new challenge that they've had to figure out one day at a time, and Zander is so grateful that at least they get to have this day together. Well, this and the few extras that they're going to stay in town, of course.

He surveys the crowd of people on the ice, players and their SOs and kids, and smiles as one of the younger guys waves at Indigo. Their daughter has never met anyone who wasn't an instant friend, so she doesn't even hesitate before waving back, and Zander watches until he can catch the kid's name. Haywood. That's right. He's a newer addition to the team himself, and apparently quite a skilled defenseman for his age.

His attention is pulled away from the blond by some of the partners who have come to greet him, and he makes polite conversation until he hears Indigo calling for him. "Okay, kiddo. I'm coming." Taking his daughter's proffered hand Zander straightens his jersey and steps carefully onto the ice, following his family into the rink. "You know, this arena really is something, Li. Even when it's not done up for a game it's very impressive."

"Yeah?" Without thinking, he lifts a hand to pat the sides of his curls. Though Liam shakes his head, the grin is broad across his lips, adding to Indigo's smile as she reaches out to run her fingers through the top of his hair. "Thanks, Zan. That's the point of today, isn't it?" And even though he is teasing, all it takes is a look at Indigo's smile as she scans the rink for his smile to shift. Her eyes are bright, excitement palpable as she swings her legs against the bench. Today means so much to him. Liam can see that reflection in his daughter's eyes, and this is what matters. Without it, he isn't sure the rest is worth much of anything.

A quick pull at each of her daughter's skates, and Liam is satisfied enough to help her to her feet. "Feels okay?"

Indy nods, bouncing on her heels as she grips both of her dad's hands. "Feels good. It's not too tight," she assures, and as one of the players skate by, she waves before lifting her eyes back to Liam.

"Making friends already?" He turns to catch a glimpse at who was skating behind them. If nothing else, being alone in the city means that he has been able to get to know several of his teammates. Life would be a lot harder without their support. The same can be said about several of their partners who are already greeting Zander.

"Ready!" Indy's smile widens as she pulls Liam toward the ice. "Come on! Daddy, we have to go!" She says, holding a hand back at Zander.

[squishfacestudio]

We're back!

Haven't posted in a long time. Homecooked Comics Festival has gone to bed, but Emerald Hill Comics Festival is our new event, and it's on this weekend.

Since we ended Homecooked, Victoria doesn't have any comics festivals focused on local work (as far as we know)! We're glad to start a new one. It's an experiment to run a festival in our new space at Studio Hall, and we hope it will have legs.

Join us! We have a great lineup of artists and retailers from Melb, Vic and around Australia.

Come and meet: Sticky Institute, Angie Spice, Peter Lane, Daniel Reed, Khale McHurst, Nhu Duong, Bruce Mutard, Mirranda Burton, Jo Asscher, Cockatoo Comics, Amplified Press (Owen Heitmann), James Steeth, Nem, Alien Mandy, Roger Stitson, Neale Blanden, Ira Francis, Steven Christie, Squishface Studio, Eli Abidin, Andrew Pilkington, David Mahler, Andy_drws, Reimena Yee, Ann Li Khaw, Stephanie Luo, Tree Paper Gallery, Gestalt Comics, Sabina Wills, Alex Smith, Stephen Cox, Benji Bajorek, Helen Graham, Ive Sorocuk, Zander von Stiegler, Jess Wilson (Dubblu)

WHEN: 11am - 4pm, Sunday 15th September WHERE: Studio Hall (319-327 Dorcas St, South Melbourne: on the grounds of St. Kilda South Port Uniting Church, next to the Port Phillip Men's Shed)

Entry is free!

More info.

Join our Meetup page for updates on the festival and other Squishface events.

[everythingne]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ➛ august series drop, kindred souls [TEASER]

Vienna Alexandria Fisichella. The eldest daughter of Ludovica Davies (nee. Fisichella) and older sister of little Anaya Davies. Her life is a countdown of exact seconds, a calendar packed with dates--barely leaving enough room to sleep, eat, or shower. Between racing, working, and caring for her sister, theres no time for Vienna to just be Vienna.

She's been treated like a mother or a father--despite not knowing her birth father, since she was fourteen. Four years after her life had started to fall apart.

And this year, like every year, was set to be the same old shit. Until it wasn't. And the world changed for Vienna Alexandria Fisichella.

ch. 1 teaser ..

"You look good." Dove says, kissing her daughters cheek and tangling her hands in Vienna's long blonde hair, "just make this brunette."

"Momma." Vienna laughs softly, "I know you say it makes me look like my Dad, but... I love it."

It had been a lifelong fight. Not once had Vienna relented. She loved her hair because it made her look like her father, the man her mother refused to tell her anything about. The mystery of who her father was had always followed Vienna, her family often making comments about how she acted just like the man she had no connections to. Vienna had tried asking her Nonna and Nonno, even her Zio Giancarlo, but had never gotten far.

Back when her mom still spoke to them regularly.

Before money got tight after she got herself disowned and took her kids with her. The reveal that Vienna's 'father', a man named Zander Moss, wasn't actually her father had torn her family in bits.

And since her tenth birthday, Vienna had this mystery father in her periphery who she could never quite reach. The only thing she knew is that he had been a racer, whether it was Indycar, Motorcross, NASCAR, Formula 1... she had no idea.

She had always assumed Formula 1, since her uncle had also raced in the sport, but never had confirmation.

"Your father..." Dove sighs at her daughter, going to go on some long winded rant about how he left her and Vienna, never cared, never looked back. But Vienna stopped believing that after she found out her mother had been lying about her heritage for years following her divorce of her first husband.

"Momma. Another time." Vienna sighs, then makes her way across the kitchen to the sink, washing off her hands. Dove relents, just for now, and goes off to make herself a coffee.

Giggling, Anaya comes bounding to her sisters side and hides her face in Vienna's dress pants as she looks up at Lia as the older girls continue to speak in hushed tones.

Across the lawn, Jenson looks like he's gonna have a stroke, James grimacing as he murmurs, "Oh dear. This might've been a mistake."

Jenson doesn't even have to think before he says, "I'll cover it."

The two share a look, then turn back, watching the girls talk amicably as Anaya tugs at her sisters hand. Jenson watching as Vienna kneels down to grab her sister and tuck her in her arms. Theres some sort of tug in his chest, something he only feels at home when he's with his wife, with his dog and kids, when the world is quiet. A warmth.

Jenson shakes his head, "I'll cover her costs. Send the check to me."

"Jenson." James tries to stop the retired driver, but the man shakes his head. Moving forward quickly, Jenson turns to the side as he shouts back at James.

"Trust me!"

a tag list for the series is open, just comment below or send an ask <3!

[stormbreaker101]

Can the Arcanum Scholars Drive a Car: Headcanons

Ignus Ferric: If you give him some time to fiddle with the car, and maybe a point of advice or two, he could probably drive it cometently.

Tarrak Hadfield: Most cars are too short for him and his antlers. The only car that'd accomodate him are the JFK style topless cars. Probably doesn't bother to learn.

Ione Virga: She could probably operate ANY sort of machinery or vehicle. Her dad probably helped her get a forklift operating license at 8.

Zander: He can't drive conventionally, but he has probably telekinetically lifted a truck while he was in it. (How he made his epic getaway from the police after his Zand the Bandit'ing IMO)

Baba Yaga: Who needs cars when you've got a walking house?

Qismah Shasa: Not a skill she currently has but I can see her being able to pick up driving rather quickly.

Jaki Whisperwind: She KNOWS she cannot drive. Driving takes so much focused attention on One Task with the threat of bodily harm or death to yourself and others if your concentration slips once. No thanks!

Velma von Venkman: Learner's permit. She's old enough to get a full license by now, but living and working in the Arcanum fulltime kinda takes precedence.

Qyburn Stellargaze: Does piloting galleons count? No? Well, sol tried.

Maulwurf von Trap: Ah yes, let's put the partially blind arsonist whose music is particularly combustible into a contraption filled with highly flammable fuel that requires sight to operate and often comes with a radio that plays music! There's no way that could go ever backfire! /s (He does not, cannot, and will not.)

[nethercomfies]

💜 Thunderstorms 💜

Pairing: Zander Netherbrand x Reader

Content: Established relationship, reverse comfort, he's mostly referred to as "Zanny", gender neutral reader

Notes: Vaguely inspired by that one time he mentioned not liking thunderstorms

Word count: 839

The wind is howling outside and rain splashes against the window with each new blow. The sky is pitch black, except for the occasional lightning strike followed by the low growls of thunder. It’s the kind of weather that makes you glad you don't have to go outside…

That being said, it doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy watching it from the safety of your room.

You’ve always had a fascination for thunderstorms, for the kind of gloomy, rough weather that seemed to turn the world around you into a completely different place.

You stand by the window and watch the pitch black sky. With each new lightning strike you hold your breath, counting the seconds until you can hear the thunder. Three… four… five… and there’s that low rumbling. Last time you counted it was seven seconds.

“I think it’s getting closer to us,” you say, turning around to Zanny, who's still sitting on your bed where the two of you had been watching a movie earlier. “This is so exciting.”

You think you see a flash of something akin to worry on Zanny’s face, but it disappears the moment he notices you turn around and gets replaced by one of his signature smiles. “Sure is, darling. Very, very exciting.”

He doesn't sound very excited. You just assume that not everyone shares your fascination for this kind of weather.

“I just think they're kind of cozy,” you say with a pout, getting a small chuckle from your boyfriend.

“Sure, I suppose there's… something cozy to them.” He sounds a little more on board now. “Would be even cozier if you came back here,” Zanny then adds with a smirk, patting the space next to him.

You can't say no to that.

You drop back on the bed next to Zanny and rest your head on his shoulder, continuing to glance out of the window occasionally. Zanny wraps an arm around you and pulls you closer towards him. You melt into the warmth of his embrace, but can't help but notice that something is different. His movements feel a little stiffer than usual, as if he's on edge.

You glance up at Zanny while reaching out to squeeze his hand. “Are you alright? You seem a bit tense.”

“Oh, I'm just fine, darling,” Zanny assures you, squeezing your hand back. “It’s just… been a stressful week. A lot going on at the club lately.”

You frown up at him. “You really need to look after yourself more. I don’t like it when you overwork yourself like that,” you gently scold him.

Zanny chuckles. “I know, I know, darling. I promise I’ll look after myself more.”

You're satisfied enough with that answer, so the two of you return to sitting in silence for a while, the only sound being the rain against the window.

When the next lightning strikes, it's followed up by an immediate loud clap of thunder.

Zanny jumps at the sound, staring out of the window with wide eyes and gripping your hand a little tighter.

“Zanny… are you scared?” You ask, a little concerned after seeing your boyfriend so distraught.

“I'm not scared,” he protests, sounding outraged that you would even suggest that he might be scared.

You look at him with one eyebrow raised, and he almost immediately concedes, his shoulders sinking.

“We didn't have this kind of weather in the underworld,” Zanny finally mumbles. “I don't particularly like it.”

Seeing the vulnerable expression on his face, you're hit by a wave of concern.

“Why didn't you just tell me?” You ask in a soft tone, gently stroking his hand.

“You know I wouldn't mind comforting you, right?

Zanny pulls a face, then sighs.

“Well…” He averts his eyes. “What kind of scary demon would I be if I was afraid of a bit of thunder? It feels… Silly.”

“You know you don't have to put on an act for me, right?” You ask, cupping Zanny's cheek to make him look at you. “Besides, I stopped thinking of you as a scary demon a long time ago anyway…” you add with a chuckle.

Zanny closes his eyes and leans into your hand, humming in agreement. “I suppose you're right…” He hesitates for a moment, before giving you an almost shy smile. “In that case, would you mind holding me? Until the storm has passed? I feel better by your side, and the fact that you're so calm about it is rather… comforting.”

“Of course, I'll be there,” you say with a smile, pulling him into your arms. “Let's put on a movie to distract ourselves, yeah?”

Zanny nods. “That sounds nice.”

You get up to shut the blinds, locking the thunderstorm outside.

Then you settle back down and pull Zanny into a warm embrace.

He seems more at ease now, as he lets his head sink against your chest and takes a deep breath.

The weather outside is soon forgotten, while the two of you spend the rest of the day cuddled up together like this.

What's this? Fern is writing again? Yeah you bet I am! The Zanny brain has taken over <3

Disclaimer: My fics about vtubers are solely about the character, NOT the streamer. I don't want to engage in RPF.

[broadwaydivastournament]

Movie Musical Divas Tournament: Round 4

Rita Moreno (1931- ): West Side Story (1961 - Anita)* | Singin' in the Rain (1952 - Zelda Zanders) | The Vagabond King (1956 - Huguette) | The King and I (1956 - Tuptim)** *Dubbed by Marni Nixon for "Tonight Quintet" and Betty Wand for "A Boy Like That" **Dubbed by Leona Gordon

"I hope someone else sends in some good words about her, because I don't think I could do her justice myself. She's RITA MORENO for god's sake!!!" - anonymous

Josephine Baker (1906-1975): Zouzou (1934) - Zouzou | Princess Tam Tam (1935) - Alwina

"it's hard to even know where to start talking about all the ways josephine baker is an extraordinary performer and person. she's a delightful presence on the screen in her movies, she exudes joy and energy and vibrancy and humor (i feel like her comedic side doesn't get talked about enough!) as a performer." - anonymous

This is Round 4 of the Movie Musical Divas tournament. Additional polls in this round may be found by searching #mmround4, or by clicking the link below. Add your propaganda and support by reblogging this post.

ADDITIONAL PROPAGANDA AND MEDIA UNDER CUT: ALL POLLS HERE

Rita Moreno:

Photos and video submitted by: anonymous

Josephine Baker:

Photos and video submitted by: anonymous