#but you know: something about learning to love and accept your younger self it's been a good exercise for me to come full circle

[charmwasjess]

You choose which sparks joy.

Post a screenshot of one of your favorite comments

Tell us your favorite thing to drink when you write

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What trope have you not written yet, but want to?

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I'll take 1, thanks! :D :D

This comment on Sitting in the Dark is so special to me because of course, it’s one of the first comments I got on the first chapter of my first fic I’d posted in, uh, fifteen years…but also because @readalong is a dear friend with whom I’d fallen out of touch over the years since I left the fandom -- like a talk frequently, write together, occasionally even hang-out-in-person friend. So it meant not only did I get a nice comment (and Peeks leaves the BEST comments) but also that I got back in touch with someone who is important to me.

So far, I’d say…. 3-4 previous readers of my kiddo-era stuff have found my new account, and pointed out that they recognized me. The pre-prequels era is a small world and my username isn’t that different, but it’s still always a funny, emotional moment for me when that happens.

[softjeekies]

Waiting After The Rain - 9

Pairing: ot8!stray kids x pregnant omega!reader

Synopsis: An omega pregnant and alone after being kicked out by their alpha stumbles upon a pack willing to take them in and care for both the omega and their pup as if they were their own, because now they are.

Genre: strangers to lovers, angsty but lots of fluff to even it out.

Warnings: a/b/o, past abuse physical and verbal, past sexual abuse(mentions of past non-con), mentions of past violence, trauma, self esteem issues, pregnancy, aftermath of abuse, panic attacks, anxiety, pack dynamics, angst but it will be okay, polyamory

A/N: I got a little stumped with this chapter but I hope it’s still enjoyable, I’ve got a few ideas for the coming chapters so we should be good :)

previous chapter // next chapter

When you woke up this morning the events of the day before hit you like a train, It didn’t help that after bringing you breakfast in bed Hyunjin had to leave for the day, to do some work at his art studio. You let him go with no pleas or cries but as you sit alone in his bed, your heart aches. Most of your life was spent pushing down your needs, especially the need for comfort and love. Now that you’d found this pack and your walls had started to crack it was hard, a sense of yearning sat deep in your chest. Hyunjin had let you know Seungmin would be home today so you could easily seek him out if you needed anything, and that’s exactly what you would do. It took a minute to find his scent but when the strong smell of freshly cleaned laundry hit your nose you knew you did it. The beta is sitting on the living room couch curled up looking a bit disassociated but once you enter the room he immediately perks up, his full attention on you while you take a seat next to him.

“Y/N! Are you okay? Do you need something?”

“I’ll be okay. Are you okay? You look, I don’t know, not Seungmin-like.” The beta lets out a lazy chuckle at your observation and you can’t help but laugh as well.

“I’m fine. I just get a little thrown off when my packmates are down. It hurts.” He looks away from you, embarrassed to be showing this kind of vulnerability.

“Oh! God, I’m sorry I’m causing you pain. Here lie down.” You pat your lap for him to lie his head down. He happily obliges, choosing to lie facing your bump as you run a hesitant hand through his hair. Seungmin feels a strong instinct to fix things, he wants his pack happy, and he wants you happy.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“Hmm, that’s probably a good idea… It’s hard to explain though. I grew up very sheltered and in a more conservative household, raised to believe that alphas were gods amongst men who could use me however they pleased. Seeing my old alpha and hearing him talk about me like that made me feel like I was back at our first meeting, and he got in my head. Seeing him again, it made me feel like maybe things can’t be good for me, so coming home and seeing everyone here I got scared. It sounds horrible but you and Hyunjin are fine because all I know about betas is what I’ve learned from school and the K-dramas I would sneakily watch when I was younger. I feel safer with you.” You don’t realize how shaky your voice is until Seungmin pushes out his calming scent.

“I can’t explain how amazing it is to hear you feel safe with me. I hope that you can feel safe with the whole pack soon. I’m sorry your life so far has been so horrible but you’re here now, right? We’re here for you.”

“It sucks because I do feel drastically safer with you guys, I have never felt this safe in my life. But it’s just like my head won’t let me settle, I’m so on edge, I’m stuck in a permanent fight or flight it’s exhausting.” Your hands run over your face in frustration. All you want to do is give in and accept this good thing but it’s like you can’t be sure it’s a good thing at all.

“We’re not going to give up on you. We want you, all of you.” Silence falls over the living room, there’s no tension or fear, just calm between two almost pack mates. Seungmin stares at your belly intently with a soft smile before he speaks up again.

“Can you feel him?”

“Him?”

“I don’t really care either way, but I think he’s a boy.”

“Hmm, I guess I haven’t thought about what I think they are. But yes I can feel them. You won’t be able to for probably the next month but soon.”

“Can I touch him?” You nod and Seungmin takes a gentle hand and rubs it across your bump, but his hand doesn’t linger.

“Hi puppy.” He speaks mere inches away from your bump, his voice is soft but projected.

“Yeah they’re moving, I guess they are saying hi back.” You let out a giggle and the beta continues to mumble nonsense to your belly, that was until another presence entered the room causing Seungmin to growl at the doorway. When you look up your eyes meet Chan’s and you immediately tense, which only makes the beta growl more at his alpha. Chan raises his hands in surrender and doesn’t make any move towards the couch.

“Hey, you know me, I won't hurt anybody. I just got home early and smelled Y/N down here and wanted to talk.” It takes a moment but you force yourself to relax, a mantra replays in your head reminding you how much Chan has done for you this past month, he’s not a threat.

“It’s okay Seungmin, we should probably talk.” Seungmin is immediately satisfied by your words and stands down, placing his head back in your lap waiting for more pets. Subconsciously you return to running your hand through the beta’s hair, more for your own comfort than his. Chan makes his way towards the couch and sits on the floor in front of you, Your mind short-circuits for a moment at the realization, he’s showing submission to you. By sitting below you making himself a literal sitting duck he is making sure you know he’s not a threat.

“Is Changbin okay?” Your mind lingers on the image of that punch. The cracking sound replays in your head on loop. You know alphas are incredibly resilient and as wolves, you’ll always heal well if you do get hurt but the shock of someone hurting and getting hurt for you rattles your brain.

“He’s in great shape, Minho looked over his hand and everything looks good, he’s a little bruised but he said it doesn’t even hurt.”

“That’s good.” You trail off, unsure how to start this conversation. Luckily the alpha does that for you.

“Y/N I never want yesterday to happen again. We were all so on edge, wanting nothing more than to comfort and protect you. When Changbin called me and told me what happened my instincts went insane, I called everyone and made sure we all got home to you. You shut us out and I felt like the worst alpha in the world. Your feelings are totally valid though, This is all still new and I know you don’t trust us yet but we want to be there for you.” There’s no posturing, there’s no overwhelming pheromones meant to manipulate you, all you saw was a big puppy sitting on the floor in front of you nervously playing with his fingers.

“I know. And that’s the part of this that scares me the most, deep down I want to give in I want to let myself have this and be your omega. This past month has been the best month of my life, but I can’t shake the life I had before all of this.”

“So we work through it together, we’ll help you work out your new normal and we’ll show you so much love and comfort along the way. We do want to court you, and as far as we’re concerned you are already part of the pack, we just have to get you acclimated.” A stray tear rolls down your face, a happy tear. Seungmin sits up and playfully rolls his eyes.

“Alright you sappy alpha, come hug your pack mates and make it all better.” He scoots away from you, giving ample room for Chan to make himself comfortable between you two. He takes a seat and immediately pulls Seungmin into his side but hesitates touching you so you take the initiative and curl into the alpha’s side, he absolutely melts at your touch. He would make it all better, if it’s the last thing he does.

The rest of the pack came home as normal throughout the day, no questions or awkwardness, they were just so happy you were feeling better and willing to let them exist in your bubble again. The last person to come home is Jeongin who you find sitting outside your door, you assume similar to how he was last night. The alpha looks up at you shocked as you exit the bathroom.

“Y/N? I thought you were still in your room.” You can’t help but let out a giggle.

“If you had talked to the pack before coming to sit at my door you’d know we worked things out, I talked to Chan and we’re going to be as okay as we can be for now. Now get off the floor.” A smile graces Jeongin’s face, and he looks at you as if you’ve hung the stars for him. He obeys and stands up, and he tries to approach you before you stop him.

“Nuh-uh, you have outside smells on you, go change.” You scrunch up your nose at the smell of other wolves all over Jeongin but he doesn’t fight back; he simply nods eagerly and heads to his room.

You lie in your nest with a protective hand over your bump when a knock steals your attention.

“Hey, I showered and changed. Is it okay if I join you now? You know, in your nest?” Jeongin’s scent is stormy, it’s clear that he’s nervous about what you might say.

“Yeah, you can join us.” Jeongin smiles at the use of the word us. He doesn’t know if he’s thinking too much into it but it makes him feel you’re reminding him the pup is there too and he can include the pup in the love he’s ready to give. The alpha climbs into the nest gently taking you in his arms.

“May I touch?” The request catches you off guard, you understand why Seungmin asked, he’s never touched your bump before. But Jeongin had done it twice now, so why would he feel the need to ask?

“Of course you can.” As he rubs gentle circles on your bump you stall for a moment thinking of how you want to word your thoughts.

“You know, I didn’t know people were supposed to ask to enter my nest, Jisung had to tell me that. People asking me for consent is really foreign to me, but I really appreciate how you guys always ask.” Jeongin smiles.

“I know firsthand how good it can feel to have people respect your boundaries, I’m not obsessed with skinship-“ You don’t mean to but you cut him off.

“But the pack? And you? You touch me though?”

“This pack has shown me how beautiful touch can be. I learned I was never against touch, I was against my boundaries being broken. I’m still no Felix but I feel safe with you guys.” You felt uncharacteristically warm, the more you learned about these guys the more you felt the knot in your chest settle.

“I was a really clingy kid, I know omegas are meant to be clingy and that was probably my instincts forming from a young age but it was so bad. All i wanted to do was cuddle with my parents all the time, they hated it though. When they began to hurt me as punishments, I learned to fear touch. It only got worse from there.” You let out a sigh, a pit forming in your stomach out of fear that you ruined the mood.

“It’s a good thing there will be no lack of cuddles for you in this house. The only touch you’ll ever receive from us will be out of pure love for you.”

You think you believe him. Nobody had ever shown you this much kindness or said these things to you, so maybe this really was different.

[sc0tters]

Favourited Fantasies | Nico Hischier & Timo Meier

summary: when your boyfriend learns about your sexual fantasies, it's only right that he helps you explore it right?

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, threesome, oral (f & m recieving!), unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it!), self masturbation? swearing.

word count: 6.58k

authors note: this is the first time I’ve written these two in a threesome pairing and it feels so good to be back into them and to return to the threesomes with something new! I also don’t think we’ve ever done a threesome when there has been an established relationship within it too. let’s all take a moment to acknowledge that if we didn’t have @sweethischier involved in this it would have come out in like months from now (you think I’m lying, I am not) because I had zero clue what to do with the concept of two Swiss kings!

He was your perfect little secret. 

Nico had been the man you called your boyfriend for the last four months now and you swore that everyday made him just a little more perfect. The only problem? Both your younger brothers were his teammates. And Jack especially, would have killed you both if he found out that lover boy on your phone was in fact his captain. 

Even as Jack warned all the players that you were off limits before they met you, those all seemed to leave Nico’s ears the moment he met you.

The sounds of cheers echoed throughout the prudential as the boys beat the Rangers “this is who I was telling you guys about.” Jack explained pulling your arm in their direction so that you could meet his friends “hi.” Your voice was quiet as you sent them a wave. 

Nico and Timo both looked at you, almost surprised that you looked that good. They knew it was weird but you immediately a sight for sore eyes as they forgot that it was your brother who stood between you and them “hey.” It was Nico who responded first and you felt like such a love-sick puppy afterwards. 

But luckily for you, that night, Nico got your Instagram handle from Jack and it seemed the two of you hadn’t looked back since. 

What Jack didn’t know was how all those nights you spent cancelling or trying to reschedule dinner with your brothers, you had actually been sipping a glass of wine as you spoke to his captain. Nico loved making you dinner as he not only got to spend time with you but he also got to finally not be eating his dinner alone. 

Nico smiled as you let out a laugh as the captain recounted the story of how he had walked in on Jack and his girlfriend on the couch “oh god don’t tell me you’re going to say what I think you will!” Your hand covered your mouth while your eyes went wide “it was even worse.” A groan left your lips as Nico nodded, knowing that it was an event that would forever be engrained in his brain, unfortunately. 

You ran your fingers through your hair as you looked at your watch “it’s getting late neeks.” You sighed, sipping the last bit of your wine “I told you next time I am cooking for you.” It was a promise you had given him last week when he cooked for you. 

It made him shake his head “like getting to cook for you.” His confession made your cheeks warm as he grabbed the plates from the table “then you should let me do the dishes.” You tried to stop him as he shook his head. 

He motioned to the bottle of wine that sat on the table “then why don’t you bring that with and we can make it a team effort.” You decided to accept his proposal “and whilst you’re at it why don’t you take the guest room here?” He added walking into the kitchen. 

The last thing that Nico wanted was for you end up in the back of an uber late at night and all alone “its not necessary.” Your words made Nico turn and give you the same stern look Ellen used to send you when she wanted you to accept what you were saying “I don’t want to inconvenience you.” The confession made his heartbreak as he placed the plates by the sink. 

His fingers pushed through his hair “I wouldn’t offer it if I wasn’t ready to give it to you.” He held his hand out for you to grab “and besides I like having you around.” The words made you smile as he hugged you. 

The warmth of his body made you melt in his touch “how much is that?” You teased looking up at him as he laugh “like so much.” More than you could have ever realised in that moment. 

Nico opted to finally tell you the truth, though. He was so beyond smitten with you that every time he saw you in the crowd, Nico liked to wish that you were there for him. Sometimes he did want to scream from the rooftops, but he knew that he would have been screwed if you didn’t feel the same way because he’d lose you and Jack for not listening about staying away. 

It was a rainy day in New Jersey as you stared out of the living room when there was a knock at the door “Nico?” You asked as you saw him burst through the door “are the boys here?” His question caught you off guard as you shook your head. 

You took a moment to acknowledge how the rain soaked his hair and shirt ���we should get you out of these.” Your voice was soft as you got up with your arms crossed “i-i need to get something off of my chest first.” Nico raised his hand up to stop you. 

Nico was clearly nervous, which made you listen opting to halt your walk where you were “you can tell me anything Neeks.” You dropped your arms hoping he’d talk “I am in love.” The words made your heartbreak. You had been calling your mom to tell her all about how Nico made you feel, so to learn that he wanted someone else was the absolute punch in the gut that made you feel as if the air was forced out of you.

He pursed his lips together “and it makes me feel so sick because I can’t think about anything else but it.” His eyes scanned your face as he hoped that he could get something out of you that gave him the green light “what am I meant to do about this?” You didn’t mean to sound bad but you were genuinely confused about how it made him so anxious. 

At that moment he shut his eyes and let out a deep breath that he didn’t even know he was holding “I am in love with you.” The words made you feel light “and I know you might not feel the same way so for that I am so sorry.” Nico rambled on as you walked closer to him. 

You grabbed his hands “but I can’t even sleep some nights knowing that you aren’t mine.” His words made you smile “Neeks.” Your voice was soft “so I guess that I needed to just tell you this.” His lips began to tremble “Nico.” You repeated your words, trying to be a little louder this time.

But that did nothing “you just make me feel so-“”Nico!” You yelled cutting him off as he finally shut up. 

He looked at you now realising that you were that close to him “I love you, you idiot.” You laughed as you shook your head “really?” He asked thinking this was some joked as you pushed yourself onto your tippy toes to kiss him “really.” 

This was a secret that you had both grown to love, you occasionally do feel the strands of jealousy when girls flirt with Nico, but he was good at making sure the moment you were behind closed doors you knew he was yours. But what Nico didn’t expect was that he’d ever have to feel that level of jealousy, from a teammate no less.

It was the day of the family skate and as everyone’s kids were on the ice, Nico couldn’t help but stare at you as you talked with the young girls “can’t believe that she is Jack’s sister.” Timo sighed as he skated up to Nico, keeping his voice quiet “I mean she is like really pretty and nice and single.” He added on making Nico begin to process what had just been said. Nico finally coughed as he panicked, thinking that Timo knew about them “well we could never go for her.” Nico coughed rubbing the back of his neck as Timo nodded “trust me I know.” Timo sighed letting his eyes remain on you. 

Nico had forgotten about that conversation, or at least he really did until he started to wonder what it would be like to share you with someone. If Nico was nervous about asking you out then he was absolutely shitting it at the thought of you saying no, and possibly even breaking up with him over it. 

You had been struggling to fall asleep as burning thoughts caused chaos in your mind “what is your biggest sexual fantasy?” The question escaped from your lips as Nico turned around to see you staring at the ceiling “why?” He asked as he cocked his head propping himself up on his pillow. 

You turned to look at him “was just thinking about it?” Your confession made your cheeks feel warm “maybe sex at the Prudential?” He trailed off not entirely sure which one he would pick “you?”

It was only fair that you told him yours as well as he had now been honest with you “a threesome.” The words brushed past your lips as Nico ran his fingers over your cheek “am I now not enough?” He teased making you almost jump out of your bed. 

“Nonono.” You shook your head as he laughed making you realise that he was kidding “I just think it could be really hot being like shared y’know?” You asked as he nodded. Nico kissed your cheek as he pulled you closer to you “you want to tell me what else you’d want?” He asked rubbing a circle with his thumb against your thigh.

Things had remained calm for months, you and Nico were getting ready to start thinking about letting the people around you know about what had been going on between the two of you. Nico watched as Timo got more comfortable around you and Nico was curious if you even knew about what the boy had been doing. The captain swore that his teammate had caught you both but if he had then surely someone else would have right? 

You were doing your skincare when Nico walked out of the bathroom “schatz can I ask you something?” He asked, crouching down to be at your level “of course baby.” You nodded, shutting out your jewellery box as you took your watch off. 

Nico pressed a kiss on your forehead “remember when you said you wanted a threesome?” His words made you confused as you sceptically nodded along “if I made you mad then really forget about it because-” Nico cut you off as he pecked your lips. 

It made you wait wanting to hear what it was that he would say to you “I wanted to know if you had anyone in mind for it.” The words lingered in your mind as you sucked at your teeth, you shook your head as your thighs clenched “promise you won’t be mad?” You asked as you watched him pull you up so that he could hold your hands. 

Nico smiled almost amused by your concern “wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t want to know liebling.” His words were like a comforting blanket that wrapped around you “it’s Timo.” You announced it as if you were ashamed letting your head look to the ground. 

A laugh echoed from Nico’s lips as he wanted to tell you all about how Timo thought you were cute “you like him?” The captain teased as you shook your head “I just think that he would fit into us pretty well.” It made Nico nod as he began to think about it. 

Maybe it was the fact that Nico certainly got off on roadies at the thought of you being his, but there was something about getting to watch someone else pleasure you that made him squirm “besides he already takes orders from you.” Your words made his cock strain against his shorts. 

There was an amused smirk on your face as you heard him grunt “you like giving orders?” You teased him as you ran your fingers over his cheek “want to see just how much I do?” Nico didn’t wait to pick you up as your legs wrapped around his waist.  

Your laughter could be heard from the room as you were sure you’d be up until the early hours of the morning, and boy were you right. 

It had been weeks since that night had gone down and you seemed to honestly forget about the conversation. Nico had been on a long roadie and had spent most afternoons praising you. 

Which was why when he came home randomly you really weren’t all too surprised “you’re such a pretty girl.” Nico cooed as he kissed up the inside of your thigh “fuck.” You gasped bringing your hands up to cup your breasts as his eyes stared into yours. 

His hand ran along your thigh “missed this cunt when I was away.” His fingers dropped down to your cunt, letting his thumb circle your clit “please neeks.” You begged, driving your heels into his back. 

Nico smirked softly kissing down your thigh as he stopped just above your cunt “please what?” He taunted you, clicking his tongue when you stayed quiet “just want you to fuck me.” You whined clenching your cunt around nothing. 

It was as if you were accepting some level of defeat when he pressed his thumb harder into your cunt “if you want to be my good girl then you should be asking me nicely.” His lips formed a pout as he rested his head against your thigh. 

Your lips formed a pout “please just make me feel good.” You pleaded stretching your legs out “I just wanna cum!” You drove your hips further into his hand as he instead pulled his hands away. 

Nico scoffed as you let out a whine “relax baby I just want to comfortable.” He explained, readjusting himself as he wrapped his arms around your legs. 

Your eyes didn’t leave his as you watched him build up saliva in his mouth that he then used to help wet your cunt. You whimpered watching it leave his mouth as it oozed onto your cunt “such a pretty girl.” Nico pressed a soft kiss against your clit, making you feel like the air was sucked out of the room in the process. 

Hands were quick to grip at his hair as he licked a stripe up your slit “such a sweet cunt too.” Nico moaned, letting his voice send shivers through your body “just like that.” Your thighs tried to push against his head as he sucked at your clit. 

When Nico asked Timo to come over earlier that morning during practice, Timo really wasn’t surprised. Not because he had a feeling you were going to be on your bed, being treated like his captain’s last meal. But rather because it was Wednesday, and Wednesday at home was for them to hang out.

The older boy reread the message telling him that he could just come inside when he arrived. His first red flag should have been the lack of anyone in the living room and the kitchen. But still Timo continued to look for Nico which when he finally heard the sounds of moans from Nico’s room it was all too late. 

With the door half open he saw everything. And there you lay naked and getting your cunt eaten out by his captain. Timo should have felt guilty for watching but it almost felt like his very own private show. 

And who was he to deny how sweet the sounds were as they escaped from your lips? But what he forgot was that if you aren’t quiwt you will get yourself caught.

Your moan had changed tones as Nico thrusted another finger into your cunt “Neeks.” You gasped, letting your eyes lock on Timo’s “yeah baby?” Nico asked finally looking in the direction that your eyes were. 

When he saw Timo it seemed like the older boy finally processed what was going on “shit I am-“ Timo went to apologise but he was cut off when Nico raised his free hand, motioning to his teammate to stop talking. 

Nico looked back at you “Timo had been telling me that you were pretty.” Nico’s words made you bite your lip as you clenched around his fingers at the thought “so why don’t you tell him Schatz about what you think?” He urged you to talk as he let his tongue swirl around your clit. 

You almost jumped at the stimulation “wanted to be shared.” Your cheeks were red as your hands gripped at the sheets beneath you “with?” You could barely hear Nico’s words as he didn’t bother to lift his mouth to speak.

Timo swore he was so close to feeling his jeans burst at the zip as his cock grew hard “you Timo.” Your eyes screwed shut, swearing you were close as Nico replaced his tongue with his thumb so that he could join the conversation “why don’t you come in here so you can see her properly?” Nico motioned to Timo to finally walk into the room.

But as the boy stood there Nico knew he needed to give Timo some encouragement to move “starting to look like he doesn’t want you doll.” Nico’s words made your lips form a pout. 

Timo was quick to shake his head “I do want you!” His voice was loud as he placed his hand on the door pushing it open to let himself in. It was the first time you properly saw the way his cock was strained against his jeans “fuck.” Your head fell onto your pillow as you felt your legs begin to shake “you see how close she is?” Nico asked as he softly nibbled at the skin on your thigh. 

You were a sight for sore eyes as Timo nodded “why don’t you come sit on this side of her?” Nico motioned to the other side of your bed “she loves cumming as she gets her tits teased.” The vulgerness of Nico’s words made you whine as your eyes never left Timo’s when he walked around. 

His eyes seemed to silently ask for permission to join you on the bed, to which you nodded “think you should give him a kiss pretty girl.” Nico cooed almost egging you on as he finally went back to sucking on your neglected clit. 

Timo watched you bite your lip as you used all of your strength to prop yourself up “hi.” His voice was soft as you let your lips clash with his. You moaned as his hand travelled down to your boobs, letting your nipple roll between his fingers as he turned it into a hard pebble. 

Nico watched on as he let his tongue fuck your cunt, occasionally coming back up to your clit. He was almost surprised that he didn’t feel jealous, in fact, Timo actually thought that the whole scenario was pretty hot. Occasionally he would grind his hips into the bed as he watched Timo start leaving a trail of sloppy kisses against your jaw “close-so close.” It was encouragement for Nico to increase his pace as Timo let his hand move to the other boob that had yet to be touched. 

The room felt hot as you collapsed onto the bed “I fuck please.” You begged as Nico let his lips pull away from your clit with a pop “you think that she has been good enough to cum?” He asked his teammate who turned to look at your face which was full of desperation. 

Timo nodded as he pecked your lips “looks like shes gonna beg soon.” There was a softness to him as he began to kiss you again. Nico nodded going back down to suck and kiss at your clit knowing that it would be what would push you over the edge. 

Sure Nico had played with your tits once or twice when he ate you out, but having that combined with another guy kissing you, you thought you were in a state of pure bliss. Timo’s mouth swallowed your moans as he continued to tease your nipples. Your legs shook against the sides of Nicos head as he didn’t stop his movements and actions until you had coated his tongue with your release “please.” You whimpered pulling away from Timo as Nico let his lips move from your cunt. 

He smirked at the sight in front of him “don’t tell me you’re already fucked out schatz.” Nico got up as he watched your chest heave “need a second.” You pleaded making him laugh.

You blew a raspberry into the air as you send him a nod, signalling to your boyfriend that you were ready “you seen how Timo feels about you?” The captain cooed as his eyes locked on the tent that had formed in his teammates jeans “you can’t blame me for this when she looks like this.” Timo’s words made you smile. 

Your thighs pushed together as you squirmed hearing his words “so why don’t you show him how happy you are now that he’s here?” Nico asked as he leaned forward to kiss you “show him how good you are with that mouth of yours.” He added as you let out a moan. 

You had noticed how they looked at each other “how come I’m the only one naked?” You whined as your lips formed a pout “take his top off if you want that to change.” Nico ordered, making you nod. 

Timo watched as you crawled towards him “you wanna let me take your shirt off?” You asked as he nodded “of course.” He smiled as your fingers brushed along his torso. 

Nico watched on as you pulled the piece of fabric off “gonna let her suck your cock?” The words made Timo groan “you ever thought about me doing that?” You teased allowing your mouth to water as you stared at his chiseled chest. 

Timo felt his body shake as your nails scratched his torso “so often.” Timo whimpered when you unbuttoned his jeans “you use your hand thinking it’s my cunt?” Your lips sucked at his ear lobe as he moaned. 

The older boy felt your hand tug his cock out of his boxers “you can tell me pretty boy.” You cooed, kissing his cheek as your thumb ran over the head of his cock. Using the precum from the tip as a soft form of lube “think about your mouth a lot too.” The confession made Nico smirk as he ran his fingers over your thigh. 

He almost felt neglected until he watched you send him a smile “you like my mouth too, no?”you asked as you moved to kiss Nico. 

Timo watched on as your hand continued to rub at his cock, going up and down. The sight made him feel dirty, here he was watching his captain kiss his girlfriend whose hand was wrapped around Timo’s cock “think you should show him just how perfect it is.” Nico ran his thumb over your lower lip as you nodded. 

You looked back to Timo who had his eyes half lidded when he stared at you “let’s get you out of these.” You let your hand leave his cock which made him whimper at the loss of contact. 

Timo was quick to lift his hips as you tugged at his jeans, pulling them down to get them off “now you look so good.” You cooed crawling between his legs as you leaned down to kitten lick his cock. 

The gesture made you smirk as his hands gripped at your hair “schatz don’t go trying to tease him.” Nico would have been the first to admit that he enjoyed watching you be in control for those few minutes, but now he wanted to remind you who was really in charge “sorry neeks.” Your lips formed a pout as you turned your head around to see him getting undressed now too. 

Nico shook his head “now go treat your guest well and maybe there might be something in it for you too.” The offer was enough for you to finally play nice. 

Timo swore he was dreaming as he watched your lips swallow his cock as your lips wrapped around it “holy shit.” He grunted, feeling a pure sense of ecstasy. 

You hollowed out your cheeks as you let him help guide you to take more of him “she’s a fucking whore ain’t she?” Nico asked as his hands gripped at your hips “she’s so good at it.” Timo whined as your hand cupped his balls. 

The captain nodded as he directed his cock over your slit as he watched your cunt ooze its slickness out, he was lucky that he didn’t just go back to eating you out. The sight was out and open for him to get how he wanted it “fuck.” Your words sent shockwaves through Timo’s body as he tightened his grip on your hair. 

Nico felt his head drop back as he moaned, slowly watching his cock get swallowed by your cunt “baby keep on just getting him off so you can cum too.” Nico offered making your cunt clench around him “please just let me.” Timo nodded as he felt your throat constrict around his cock as you tilted your jaw to take more of him. 

You took his cock out of your mouth “you look so pretty like this.” You moaned going to suck at his balls as your hand rubbed his cock, your pace matching Nico’s thrusts. 

The sound of skin slapping echoed off of the walls of the room “fuck baby, is this what you wanted?” Nico asked as you nodded, letting out a whimper when your lip was caught between your lips. The captain raised his hand to slap your ass “we give you exactly what you wanted, and now you want to just keep yourself all quiet?” Nico scoffed as he shook his head “show Timo all those pretty noises that you know how to make.” Nico glared at Timo with a sense of jealousy that washed over him. It wasn’t Nico who changed his mind,  but he did want Timo to remember that you were off of the market. That you getting to fuck Timo tonight was not going to be an everyday occurrence. 

You moaned, bringing the boys attention back to you “so hot.” You moaned, letting his balls drop from your mouth with a pop “love it.” You nodded going back to suck at his cock. 

Nico began to speed up the pace of his thrusts, craving that release, “I’m close.” Timo confessed as his cock throbbed. Your mouth sucked at his cock like a straw “fuck I think she is close too.” Nico let his thumb circle your clit once more knowing that it would push you over the edge.

The older teammate grunted as he watched your eyes look up at him through your thick lashes “c’mon pretty girl.” Timo pleaded as he nodded, watching you hollow your cheeks as you massaged his balls to get him over the edge “just f’me.” He nodded thrusting his hips into your face when his eyes screwed shut.

Timo felt his chest heave as he came, letting his release spray sticky ropes down your throat “fuck please don’t stop.” He didn’t want to let this end as you finally turned your head to look back up at him as his cock fell out of your mouth “tastes so good.” You moaned, feeling his thumb slot into your mouth. 

If he thought he was done, he was already hard again. The cum that had dribbled out of your mouth was now saved by his thumb and brought back into your lips “still such a little whore.” Timo teased as he brought his hand down to cup your breast “fuck baby.” Nico moaned as your cunt throbbed around him, sending thoughts to his mind about wanting to put a baby into your belly as you took every last drop that he possibly had to offer. 

A cry left your lips as you moaned, feeling your legs begin to shake “please.” Tears formed in your eyes as Timo looked to Nico who nodded “go on sweet girl.” Nico gripped your one hip as he quickened his thumbs pace on your clit. 

Your head felt heavy as your body shook. Your eyes screwed shut as your cunt clamped down around Nico’s cock as you came. Timo pulled his thumb from your mouth so that he could hear all the little noises that escaped from your lips “feel so-” you cut yourself off with a moan as Nico continued to thrust into you, once and then a second time too. 

His release came shortly after your own “fucking hell doll.” Nico huffed as he pulled his cock out of you, watching both of your releases mixed together as it oozed out of you “can’t be having this.” The captain clicked his tongue as he scooped the release with his two fingers before he forced it back into your cunt. 

The movement made your body collapse into Timo’s body, he watched you rest your head on his chest “schatz you think you have room to handle one more?” Nico asked as he got up. 

You watched him move the single seater that sat by your side of the bed “you had enough?” You furrowed your brows, growing alarmed that he had changed his mind. 

The boy smiled turning around to lean down and kiss your lips “I am perfectly fine.” He swore hoping you knew he was serious “I just want to watch him with you.” Those words had your squirm, forcing your thighs together as you nodded. 

Nico caught the gesture as he smirked “seems like you want that to happen as well.” A wave of mischief flashed across his eyes as he made the mental note of that being something that seemed to turn you on. 

The captain knew that you loved him and that nothing would change between the two of you “have fun liebling.” He mumbled pressing another kiss on your lips before he sat down on the chair. 

His legs spread as he palmed at his cock “we don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Timo’s voice almost reminded you that he was there “I want to.” You frowned turning to see his face full of uncertainty. 

You slowly crawled back to Timo so that you could kiss him “you gonna let me?” You asked making him nod as you kissed him. 

Nico watched on as your hand grazed his teammates jaw. Timo’s hands gripped at your hips “fuck.” Nico grunted, wrapping his hand around his cock as he gripped at his member rubbing his hand up and down. 

Timo pulled away from you “gonna let me fuck you?” He asked, flipping you both over when you nodded. Sure he was tired but he could see there was no way that you’d be able to fuck him properly “please Timo.” You nodded, gripped at his hair when he kissed down your neck. 

He knew you’d be ready to fuck, but still, he wanted to get a chance to worship you in between “such a pretty girl.” Timo cooed, kissing at your collarbone. The older boy sucked at your skin so that he could mark you. 

He leaned forward as he stopped, opting to look at you instead “you ready?” Timo asked rubbing the head of his cock over your slit, teasing your clit “yeah.” You whimpered as your eyes screwed shut feeling him bottom you out. 

Timo went slowly, not stopping until your hips were met with his ‘fuck.” you both whispered, taking a moment to breathe as you both took a chance to adjust to how his cock felt in your cunt “you can.” You tapped his arm looking into his eyes as you nodded, giving him the green light to start moving again. 

His hips pulled away before he slapped them back into yours, repeating that gesture once, twice, and then a third time. Each was met with a moan as he brought your legs onto his shoulders. 

Nico watched on as his cock throbbed against his palm, the way your body jolted was something he never got to savour when he was the one who was fucking you “feels so good.” You confessed turning your head to look at Nico who felt his ego get brushed as your eyes traveled to his hand. 

There was a sense of desperation in his pumps, watching you look as if your mouth was watering “you like the way his cock fucks you sweet girl?” Nico felt his stomach tense as you nodded, feeling TImo kiss the skin of your shoulder. 

Even as Nico’s cock was longer, Timo felt girthier, practically stuffing you to the brim, with your previous orgasms being used as some form of lube as he continued to fuck you “so good.” You repeated those words, bringing your hands down to cup your tits so that you could tease your nipples. 

The older boy wasn’t trying to push your boundaries as you figured that he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable “you weren’t lying that she’s perfect.” Timo groaned as skin slapping echoed against the walls making his skin feel on fire “hear that pretty girl, he thinks that you’re perfect.” Nico smirked letting his head drop back, your cunt clenched at the praise making Timo’s strength waiver.

It brought him back to life almost, reminding him each time that this wasn’t a dream and that he really was getting to fuck you “you like it when he praises you like that?” Timo sucked at your earlobe “yes.” Your head bobbed as your voice cried out.

Nico could see how you chewed at your lip “she is gonna cum soon.” Nico confessed, seeing your cues as he nodded “go play with her pretty little clit to get her over.” He added knowing that it was always the way to make you see the stars.

TImo nodded as he propped one hand up by your head and let his other drop to your clit where his thumb found a home. He circled the sensitive nub as he watched your legs begin to shake, causing him to increase his pace as he was desperate to finish with you. 

You arched your back, driving your hips into Timo so that you could reach the high you so desperately craved “fuck fuck fuck!” You chanted a slew of words as your eyes screwed shut when your cunt clenched around his cock, using the short bursts to push him over the edge. Timo dropped his head on your chest as he began to slow down his thrusts until they came to a complete stop. By the time your eyes had opened, you saw that Nico had finished in his hand, too, as you sent him a fucked out smile. It reminded him of how you would look at him if he brought you a coffee as you slept, only waking up when you heard him place the cup on your bedside table.

As Timo pulled out of your cunt his cock went limp making him moan. He watched your eyes begin to close “I’m done.” You announced, unsure that they would try to push you through another round. 

Nico’s laugh pulled your attention in his direction “you want a bath schatz?” He offered, getting a paper towel to wipe up his release that had been caught in his hand “you gonna join?” You looked at Timo who looked like a deer caught in headlights. 

A cough got caught in his throat as he shook his head “I should get going.” Timo leaned down to press a kiss against your cheek. 

What he didn’t want to do was overstay his welcome as Nico nodded “you know how to let yourself out right?” Nico’s words made you glare at him “yeah I’ll let you rest.”Timo squeezed your hand as he pulled his pants up. 

Nico sat next to you “well I’ll see you tomorrow then.” The boys had were leaving for a game the next day and they were meant to be sat next to each other on the plane. 

Timo got up as he sent you one last look “thanks for the day?” His words made you smile when you nodded “you too T.” You rested your head against Nico’s shoulder. 

The boy got to the door as you clicked your tongue “Timo?” You called out making him whip his head around as he nodded “yeah?” In that moment he swore you were going to call him back into the room. 

But when Nico kissed your cheek it felt like a bubble had been burst over his head “could you keep Nico and I dating to yourself?” You asked, Nico nodding in agreement “your secret is safe with me.” It wasn’t surprising that the two of you hadn’t told anyone, but somehow being someone who knew of the secret stung Timo’s heart. 

You mouthed a ‘thank you’ before the boy left “you have a good time?” Nico asked looking at your eyes “the best time Neeks.” You nodded watching him stand up. 

He was quick to pick you up “what are you doing?” You cocked your head, running your fingers over his shoulder “just making sure that my girl knows that I’m the one who takes care of her.” Nico’s possessiveness made you smile. 

You pressed a kiss against his cheek when he walked you into the bathroom before he kicked the door shut “as fun as it was to watch you with him and I am glad you had fun.” Nico began running the bath as his eyes never left your naked body “some things shouldn’t be shared?” You asked as he nodded, walking back over to you as he placed his hands on your cheeks. 

He was glad you understood where he was coming from “hey now not many people would let another guy fuck him to begin with.” You softly laughed as you kissed him. 

The gesture was sweet “I love you.” Nico confessed as you smiled “I don’t know how I got so lucky with you.” Your words made his heart bloom, feeling as if he was in fact the lucky one because you put up with him.

So as joy spread in the bathroom as the soft scents of rose and lavender invaded your nostrils from the bubble bath Nico poured into your bath. Timo was back in his car as he wondered why Nico was the one you picked, sure he never even knew it was a competition. 

But his body longed to be with yours, his mind craved your presence as his ears yearned for your laughter. All Timo truthfully knew was that this was going to be a long season for him if you were going to stay Nico’s. 

Before Timo could fully pick a plot though, Luke had ended up in your apartment. When Nico was there too, and that’s when your brother and everyone else learnt about the man you called yours.

Now it was going to make it a lot harder to get you into the Prudential Center quietly, because of course you needed to give Nico a chance to experience his own fantasy too.

[urdreamydoodles]

im assuming you're taking requests, so I will bring you Scott, Logan, Jean, Ororo, Charales, Erik with a young kid reader who has a very power mutation and is an omega level mutant, and is now at the mansion because they parents didn't want them

X-Men x Kid!Reader

Their relationship with you—a omega-level mutant

After being abandoned by your parents due to your dangerous omega-level mutation, you arrive at the Xavier Institute, where a X-Man take you under their wing. They help you navigate the overwhelming potential of your powers, becoming mentors and parental figures as they guide you toward self-acceptance and control.

Characters: Scott Summers, Logan Howlett, Jean Grey, Ororo Munroe, Charles Xavier & Erik Lehnsherr

Of course I take requests, don't hesitate to ask again love ♡ And thanks for the idea, I hadn't planned on writing for a Kid!Reader soon but you motivated me to do it. — Love, Marie, your friendly marvel fangirl

Scott Summers (Cyclops)

When you first arrived at the mansion, Scott was the one who greeted you. As a leader, he had taken on the responsibility of welcoming new students, especially those who might be difficult to place. But when he learned that you, a young child, had been abandoned by your parents due to your dangerous mutation, something in him softened. He saw a reflection of his younger self in you—alone, scared, and confused about your powers. He was quiet at first, observing you as you sat in the mansion’s common room, staring out the window, your small form dwarfed by the large surroundings. You didn’t speak much either, afraid of being rejected again.

Scott had been through so much with his own powers, especially as someone whose mutation had caused harm in the past. He understood how overwhelming it could be, especially for a child. He approached you cautiously, always careful not to seem too intrusive. "Hey," he said softly, kneeling to be at eye level with you. "I know things are hard right now, but we’re here to help. You're safe here."

At first, you didn’t believe him. How could anyone help with something as destructive as your mutation? But Scott never pushed you, never forced you to talk about it until you were ready. Days turned into weeks, and little by little, Scott became the constant figure in your life. He would check on you every morning, sitting with you during meals when you felt too shy to sit with the other students. He’d take you to the Danger Room, not for training, but to show you that your powers didn’t define who you were.

As time passed, Scott began teaching you how to control your mutation, sharing his own struggles with his optic blasts and how Professor Xavier had helped him. He showed you that even though your mutation was powerful, it could be harnessed for good. The bond between the two of you grew, and Scott became a father figure in your life, guiding you through the complexities of being an omega-level mutant. Whenever you felt overwhelmed, Scott was always there, his calm and steady presence reassuring you that you were never alone.

The more time you spent together, the more you came to see Scott as not just a mentor but as someone who truly cared for you. He would bring you small gifts—a book he thought you’d like, or a new pair of shoes when he noticed yours were wearing out. He’d sit with you at night when nightmares of losing control over your powers haunted your sleep. Over time, Scott became the person you trusted most, the one who saw past your dangerous mutation and saw you as a person—someone worth loving and protecting.

Logan Howlett (Wolverine)

Logan wasn’t known for being a nurturing figure, but when Charles asked him to keep an eye on you, he couldn’t say no. When you arrived at the mansion, a young kid with a mutation that even the other mutants found intimidating, Logan saw the fear in your eyes. It reminded him of his own past—how he’d been treated like a monster because of his powers. But he didn’t approach you immediately. He watched from a distance at first, letting you get comfortable in your new environment.

You were quiet, withdrawn, and understandably scared of hurting someone with your powers. Your parents had abandoned you, and that kind of rejection left deep scars. But Logan understood that. He knew what it was like to be rejected for something you couldn’t control. Slowly, he began to approach you, always in his gruff, no-nonsense way. "Kid," he’d say, catching your attention one afternoon while you sat alone in the garden. "You hungry? Come get something to eat."

At first, you were hesitant around him. Logan’s rough exterior and gruff voice made him seem intimidating, but over time, you began to realize that beneath all of that was someone who genuinely cared. He didn’t coddle you, didn’t treat you like you were fragile. Instead, he treated you like a person, not just a child. He would take you with him on walks through the woods surrounding the mansion, teaching you survival skills and how to listen to the world around you. Logan wasn’t the type to sit down and talk about feelings, but in his own way, he helped you understand that your mutation didn’t define you.

As your bond grew, Logan became more protective of you. He’d take you out to train, showing you how to defend yourself—not just with your powers, but with your fists. He wanted you to be strong, to not rely solely on your mutation. "There’s more to you than just that," he’d tell you, his tone gruff but kind. "You’ve got a brain, kid. Use it."

Logan was never one for emotional speeches, but his actions spoke louder than words. He’d be there when you had nightmares, sitting silently by your side until you fell back asleep. He made sure you had everything you needed, even if that meant going out in the middle of the night to get you something. Over time, you began to see Logan as a father figure, someone who, despite his rough edges, loved you in his own way. He was the one who taught you that you were more than just your powers, and for that, you loved him back.

Jean Grey (Phoenix)

When Jean first saw you, she sensed the fear and confusion swirling around you like a storm. You were so young, yet your powers were immense, dangerous even, and you didn’t have the control to handle them yet. Jean understood what it was like to carry the weight of powers that felt too big for you. She’d been there once, and she knew how terrifying it could be. So, from the moment you stepped foot into the mansion, Jean made it her mission to help you.

Jean was gentle with you from the start, never pushing you to open up too soon. Instead, she made sure you knew she was always there, a comforting presence in the chaos of your new life. She’d sit with you during meals, smiling softly, encouraging you to try new foods or talk about your day. "You’re not alone in this," she’d say, her voice calm and reassuring. "We’ve all been where you are. It’s okay to be scared."

The first time your powers flared up, it was in the middle of the night. You had a nightmare, and your mutation spiraled out of control, shaking the entire mansion. Jean was there within seconds, her own powers calming the chaos around you. She sat beside you, her arms around your trembling form, whispering soothing words until the storm inside you calmed. "It’s okay," she’d murmur softly. "I’m here. I won’t let anything happen to you."

Jean became the mother figure you had never known. She was patient, always understanding that your powers were tied to your emotions. She spent hours with you, teaching you how to meditate, how to center yourself, and how to control the overwhelming power you carried. She shared her own experiences with you, telling you about the times she had lost control of her abilities, and how she had learned to harness them with time and practice.

The more time you spent with Jean, the more you grew to trust her. She was the one you went to when you were scared, the one who held you when the weight of your mutation became too much. Jean was always there, offering comfort, guidance, and love. She never saw you as a danger, even when your powers flared up unexpectedly. Instead, she saw you as a young mutant who just needed a little help finding her way.

As your relationship deepened, Jean became more than just a mentor—she became the mother you had always needed. She was there for every milestone, every step of your journey to control your powers. And when you finally began to master them, it was Jean who stood beside you, her smile filled with pride and love. She had taken you under her wing, and in doing so, she had given you a family.

Ororo Munroe (Storm)

When you first arrived at the Xavier Institute, Ororo Munroe was one of the first faces you saw. There was something about her calm and regal presence that made you feel a little less overwhelmed by your new surroundings. You were still so young, and with your mutation threatening to spiral out of control at any moment, you were terrified. Your parents had made it clear they couldn’t handle the dangers your powers presented, and now you were here—alone, confused, and unsure of what to expect.

Ororo approached you gently, her voice soft but strong. "Welcome," she said with a warm smile. "You’re safe here. We’ll figure this out together." She could sense your unease, the way your powers hummed beneath your skin, ready to burst forth at the slightest emotional trigger. Ororo understood what it was like to have powers connected so deeply to one’s emotions. Her ability to control the weather had once been wild and untamed, just like you.

At first, you were hesitant. You didn’t trust easily, not after the way your parents had reacted to your mutation. But Ororo didn’t push. She gave you space when you needed it, but was always there when you felt ready to open up. She took you under her wing, teaching you how to connect with nature, how to calm your mind and body to prevent your powers from overwhelming you.

She would take you out into the gardens, her favorite place at the mansion, and together you would sit in the grass, surrounded by flowers and trees. Ororo showed you how to focus on the wind, the rustle of the leaves, the soft patter of rain—small, natural things that helped you feel grounded. "Your powers don’t control you," she’d say with quiet conviction. "You control them."

As time passed, Ororo became a mother figure to you. She was always patient, always understanding. She taught you discipline and control, but more than that, she taught you self-acceptance. She helped you see that your mutation was a part of who you were, but it didn’t define you. Whenever you had a rough day, Ororo would be there, offering comforting words and reminding you that you were stronger than you thought.

The bond you developed with Ororo was unbreakable. She was there through every challenge, every triumph, and every setback. With her guidance, you grew stronger, not just in your abilities, but in your confidence. And no matter how many times you stumbled, Ororo was always there to lift you back up, her gentle smile reminding you that you were never alone.

Charles Xavier (Professor X)

You hadn’t said much when you first arrived at the mansion, but Charles Xavier didn’t need words to understand the storm of emotions brewing inside you. The moment he saw you, he could sense your fear, your confusion, and the overwhelming power you were struggling to control. Your mutation was dangerous, unpredictable, and omega-level—something your parents couldn’t handle. They had sent you here, hoping Charles could help, but you felt abandoned, rejected.

Charles had seen it all before, in countless young mutants who had passed through the mansion’s doors. But something about your quiet demeanor, the way you held yourself as though you didn’t want to take up any space, tugged at his heart. He approached you with kindness, offering a gentle smile. "You’re not alone anymore," he said, his voice soft but reassuring. "This is your home now."

At first, you were skeptical. You had been told so many times that you were dangerous, that your mutation made you a threat. But Charles never treated you that way. He was patient, understanding, and always willing to listen. He never probed your mind without permission, respecting your boundaries even when he knew you were struggling.

He spent hours with you in his study, guiding you through meditation exercises, helping you learn to quiet the noise in your mind. "Your mutation is powerful," he’d tell you, "but it doesn’t have to define you. You are in control, not the other way around." His presence was calming, his belief in you unwavering. It was the first time in a long time that you felt like someone truly saw you—not as a threat, but as a person.

As the months passed, Charles became more than just a mentor to you. He was like a father, always there when you needed guidance or support. He encouraged you to push beyond your fears, to embrace your mutation as a part of who you were. With his help, you began to gain control over your powers, learning to harness them instead of being overwhelmed by them.

Charles never gave up on you, even on the days when you felt like giving up on yourself. He believed in you when no one else had, and that belief made all the difference. Over time, the bond between you grew stronger, and Charles became a pillar of strength in your life. You knew that no matter how difficult things got, he would always be there to guide you through it.

Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto)

When you were first brought to Erik Lehnsherr, you were terrified. Not just of your powers, but of him. You had heard stories—whispers about Magneto, the mutant who could control metal with just a flick of his hand, the one who had waged wars for mutantkind. But there was no one else who could understand what you were going through. Your mutation was out of control, destructive, and your parents had given up on you.

Erik didn’t approach you like the others at the mansion might have. He didn’t sugarcoat things or offer soothing words. Instead, he looked at you with a kind of intensity that made you feel like he was seeing straight through you. "You are powerful," he told you bluntly, his voice firm. "More powerful than you realize. And that power is something you must learn to control."

You weren’t sure what to make of him at first. He was intimidating, his presence almost overwhelming. But there was something in his words that resonated with you. He didn’t treat you like a fragile child. He didn’t look at you with fear or pity. Instead, he saw potential in you—potential that everyone else had overlooked.

Erik took you under his wing, and while his methods were harsh at times, they were effective. He pushed you harder than anyone else, refusing to let you be consumed by fear or self-doubt. "Fear is a weapon," he would say during training sessions. "And if you let it control you, you’ve already lost."

As the days turned into weeks, you began to see a different side of Erik. Beneath the hardened exterior, there was a deep well of care—especially for you. He had seen firsthand what it was like to be cast aside because of one’s powers, and he wasn’t going to let that happen to you. He believed in your strength, even when you didn’t, and he was determined to help you harness your abilities.

Erik was a complicated figure in your life. He wasn’t soft or gentle like the others, but he was there when you needed him most. He challenged you, pushed you to the brink, but always pulled you back when things became too much. And over time, you came to trust him, to see him as more than just a mentor. He was like a father to you, albeit one with a complicated history.

Under Erik’s guidance, you grew into your powers. He helped you understand that being powerful wasn’t something to fear—it was something to embrace. And though your relationship with him was often difficult, it was also one of the most important connections you had ever made. You knew that, despite everything, Erik cared for you in his own way. And that was enough.

[thementalshawty]

PAC Your FS’s Vibe

So hello again the ghost is reappearing sorry to my babies, work is heavy and wearing me out I work at FedEx y’all. Package handling heavy ass boxes everyday for the week! I’ve been worn out, but that don’t mean ion love you guys and I feel like shit for not being more consistent. So I’m back with a quick PAC reading so you can get a quick little vibe of your FS just something to tickle your fancy. If you’d like more material and details even readings every month join my patreon which shall be featured on the bottom of this reading! REMEMBER! This is a GENERAL reading so take everything lightly and let the rest flow to another thank you. Let’s begin shall we.

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VIBE 1:

You Got The DEATH card. So your FS regardlesss of gender is intense! They’re Scorpionic! They may be a Scorpio or have Scorpio in their natal chart. They’ve been through a lot of transitions and changes, some of them could’ve been surrounded by a lot of death actual people dying around them, so I’m hearing they may not get close to people they feel everyone they love dies type shit. This person is hella strong and mysterious, they have a lot of admires I’m hearing the word smolder so maybe they do that with their eyes. Something about their eyes stand out 👀 They know how to make people swoon. They will have you always giggling and rolling their eyes, you’ll always be trying to figure them out. Everyday is new and exciting with them you just feel so eager to learn about them, they’re enticing I’m hearing. They look good and they give me vampire vibes some lestat, and others Louis from interview with a vampire show on AMC and not money or anything just their swagger and vibe. Some even looks. They’re very serious to they take no shit and they’re not the ones to mess with! They’ve been through some shit I’m feeling. Also looks good in hoodies or wears a lot of them. A boogie with the hoodie vibes too for some reason. By

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Vibe 2:

HOLY FUCC You Guy Got The SUN ☀️! Your FS is very Sunny, upbeat, positive and full of energy! They like to see the brighter side to everything! Half glass full type of energy! The sun is very masculine energy so they can be masculine irregardless of gender. They are so happy and they just want everyone around them to be happy too, very innocent vibes too I’m getting youthful so they can be younger than you are or just makes you feel young too, I also get they look younger than they are. They have come full circle in their lives, I feel they have struggled, begged and pleaded in their life and now they’re finally doing things their way and they couldn’t be happier with it. They’re very self aware I feel! They know about their good shit and bullshit and if they’re not working on it or haven’t it’s cos they’re at peace with it and who they are and I feel they are so motivational and supportive to those around them! The cheerleader of their group. They want to see everyone win! I think they are Leo dominant or have Leo in their chart. Loud and proud very prideful so that can be an issue! They treat themselves like royalty, they may live in a warm place, they may like to lay out in the sun. They may have blonde hair some of them, longer too esp if it’s a feminine. This person is just awesome their vibe is so lit I love them already they just want to smile and have a good time! They have gotten lucky so many times in their life I feel they’re very a happy go lucky kinda person, they’re a joy to be around! Warm, loving, accepting, embracing I’m hearing they’re like a hug!

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

Vibe 3: You Got The Star ⭐️! So I’m seeing your FS has got very healing energy and vibes going on, they’re very inspirational and people go to them for advice and hope. This person always tries to help others and uplift them. Motivational speaker right here! I’m feelin like for some not all! Your FS is a celebrity, they could have star power if anything, locally known. Your FS is the type to wish upon a shooting star! They’re incredibly sweet and loving the type to adopt animals and kids even! They believe in the betterment of the world and the planet, man in the mirror by Michael Jackson is what I’m hearing they are basically too good for this fucking world! They are such an angel on this earth people feel lucky just to be in their presence! They are humanitarians! They philosophical too, brown hair for some, they can be an Aquarius or have Aquarius in their chart. They keep their heart open to faith. Not religious well some are but they do hold strong faith everything works out for the best.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Vibe 4: Aww You Got The Knight of Cups. Your FS is so sweet, they’re loving, passionate and creative asfcc! They’re an artist, they can be a water sign. Cancer & Pisces most likely! They are so beautiful too I feel they look really cute! They have can have tattoos. They hella romantic they want love! This person has style too hella swag 😆. They are the type to write love letters and songs for you, to create a beautiful picnic and surprise you for a date. They are the pursuer. Big dreams! They follow their heart, sometimes they don’t connect their mind and they need too, they’re hella emotional but it’s balanced and controlled. They are the type to woo you, sweep you off your feet! They will court you! This person has a big heart. Your white knight! They are the type to go save their homie at 6am in the morning and they’re still in sleep mode. They don’t care they are down and I feel since it’s cups they just flow too, they aren’t really against pushing against the current, they can probably play guitar some of them. They’re an Angel and they love hard!

💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

Well

That’s all you guys I hope you liked it and it resonated I promise imma try to be better also if you’d like to join my patreon we have unlimited openings lol the link is here!

THANK YOU GUYS LOVE YA!!

[stayinlimbo]

Wait For Your Love

pairing: lee minho x reader genre/warnings: friends to lovers, second love (kinda), fluff, minor angst, hurt/comfort, brief mentions of a previous relationship, brief descriptions of heartbreak, so much pining omg, college-aged, mc's gender is not specified word count: 1.21k note:  i am proud i finished this one ngl. thank you @hwangism143 for giving me confidence. i'm not too sure how much i like this fic because it wrote itself but i hope you all still enjoy ♡

If there is anything Minho has learned about you in the years he’s known you, it’s that you’re not subtle. 

It’s something that’s never seemed to bother you, even after he pointed it out once during your shared lecture class, voice tinged with exasperation as you ogled at the upperclassman you’d been making heart eyes at for the nth time that week. You wear your heart on your sleeve like a badge of honor, displayed proudly for the entire world to see. 

Minho has witnessed every emotion be reflected on your face at least once. If asked, he could probably fill a whole book with expressions he didn’t even know were possible until he saw them on you, though the snapshots etched into his memory could never perfectly capture the art of facial contortion you’ve mastered. 

Your open nature was evident from the beginning. He can still picture the bright grin you gave him when you occupied the desk next to his on the first day of high school. The feel of your gaze flickering towards his seated form and the light bouncing of your knee as the teacher dismissed class made it no surprise when you twisted in your chair to ask for his name and if he’d like to eat lunch with you. 

It’s a curious thing, looking back on it, to see the immediate effect you had on him. Minho truly couldn’t help the pink hues coloring his cheeks as you tested his name on your tongue for the first time, nor the shy smile blossoming on his lips at the way you visibly lit up when he accepted your offer. He didn’t know you, didn’t know why you were so happy, didn’t know what this feeling was deep inside his chest; all he knew was that he really wanted to keep making you smile. 

He likes to think he’s been successful over the years, if the way your head tilts back in laughter at his silly antics and tight grip on his biceps to hold yourself up is anything to go by. It’s an admirable goal his younger self set, though he’s not sure when it shifted from wanting you to be happy to just...wanting you.

He wanted you when he introduced you to his cats for the first time, the gentlest smile playing on his lips at your barely contained excitement as they brushed past your legs. He wanted you when you tried to teach him how to swim, despite the poorly concealed judgmental looks you kept throwing at him when he clung to your shoulders tightly in the shallow water. He wanted you at your best, at your worst, and in all your in-betweens. He wanted to be by your side, even if he couldn’t have you. 

And he was. Minho was there to separate your clammy hands, wrung together by the anxiety flooding through your system, and give them a reassuring squeeze. He watched you take a calming breath, offering him one last nervous smile before walking a few rows over to ask out Chan, the upperclassman you wouldn’t stop gushing about. He offered you two thumbs up and the best smile he could muster as you bounded back to him, hands waving wildly in the air as you fervently spilled the details about how you scored a date on Saturday.

He was there to give the best “guy advice” a man with no relationship experience possibly could and third-wheeled more times than he’d like to admit, because, try as he might, he never was able to say no to you. 

No, Minho never left. If he did, who would be there to comfort you after you and Chan broke up right before his graduation? It didn’t matter that you were failing miserably at hiding your puffy face or eyes glistening with tears threatening to fall as you delved further into what happened. He didn’t care about the tears from your sobs staining his shirt and wetting his neck as he pulled you into his chest or the amount of tissue piled in his trash can. Minho chose to bear your heartbreak, be the anchor you needed because he loved you. He loved you in the way you deserved to be loved. 

He noticed the soft sighs escaping your past lips when he drove past somewhere that reminded you of Chan and the distant, longing look in your eyes when his name was mentioned. He saw your posture straighten, features lighting up slightly with a quiet “thank you” leaving your lips when he offered to bring you coffee every week before your morning class. Minho watched the weight on your shoulders be slightly lifted day by day as you reclaimed and channeled your love into yourself. He witnessed the smile finally reach your eyes, your laughter ringing in the air after he successfully predicted what the characters on the TV screen would say, and he swore he’d never felt prouder in his life.

Minho has learned all your mannerisms and would argue that he knows you better than he knows himself. Yet, there was a gleam in your eyes he’d never seen before when he leaned back on your couch and locked his eyes with yours. The way you quickly redirected your gaze was new too, and you even looked a little... shy. His eyes trailed down to your lap, where you fiddled with your fingers as he grabbed one of your surprisingly sweaty hands in comfort. Oh, it’s warm too. Weird. 

It was weird when you refused to look at him for longer than two seconds when he picked you up for class the next day. He could not figure out why you were biting down on your cheeks to hold back the smile threatening to break out any moment, nor did he understand why, two weeks later, your smile directed at him had changed—still radiant and beautiful but somehow softer, more loving.

Why are you looking at him as if you love him? 

You’re not subtle; you never have been. Minho can see it now in the way you’ve found more excuses to hold onto his arm when walking through heavy foot traffic, when you’re scared by the movie he teased you about, when you’re pulling him closer because you’re cold and don’t want to reach for the blanket resting beside your body. He can see your love overflowing in the same way as his, hands itching to intertwine with each other. 

He knows you know about his feelings for you. How could you not, when he can hear your panicky voice reverberating through your apartment’s front door, pacing footsteps creaking the floorboards as you repeatedly question one of your other friends about how you should ask him out? He really hopes the catch in his breath wasn’t too audible.

Minho doesn’t mind waiting; he’d wait forever if he had to. But it doesn’t look like he’ll have to wait for long, not when your hope-filled determination paired with a wide-eyed stare pierces his heart and soul as you wrench the door open and usher him through the entryway.  

And if he didn’t leave until the next morning, hand intertwined with yours as he dragged you to the nearest coffee shop, well, that wasn’t anyone else’s business.

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taglist: @linospuddin @linocz @spicyhyunn @inlovewithstraykids @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21

[loveyourlovelysoul]

if you've been a kid who used to ask for something you really wanted but rarely got it and had to settle and be happy about receiving crumbs or something else; if you had often been told randomly something was not for you (for any reason) at all or unless you worked very hard to actually be deserving of it (like getting a good grade in school); if you had to share your dearest havings, be nice and kind to everyone to the point don't have any boundary or privacy anymore (and you don't know where you start or end or who you really are), it may be hard for you now to not feel not enough and to not give up on your dreams deeming them as impossible or even perceiving them as a threat for your safety just by imagining living them or really getting what you want.

you're so used to not feeling appreciated as you are and accepting crumbs and making yourself smaller for others (and giving them all you can), that receiving a small anything you really desire from within feels really impossible and scary. you may even keep searching for every little sign that confirms you you are not enough and you're not going to receive it (no matter how many other signs tell you the opposite, you'll focus on these cause despite being hurtful, it's just less scary cause you're used to that, you're used to live in that place and it feels safe; you're used to make yourself smaller, so even compliments may be hard to accept and you may "decline" them not out of politeness but because you don't feel good enough for them, especially if you feel like you didn't overwork yourself enough to be worthy of them).

if any of these sounds familiar, try to work with your younger self: remind them of their worth, and welcome them in your arms as they did their best. they just weren't told the reasons behind some behaviours and decisions taken by adults around them, reasons that were clear to those adults (prolly emotionally immature ones too) but not to them obviously cause they were learning. not having had those explanations back then made your younger self read some adults' demand and behaviour as if they weren't enough to be loved and appreciated as they were. and that's a natural response by your brain since as a child all you want is to feel appreciated and validated by your parents/caregivers/older people around you, but it's also something so very far from the truth.

try to go slow and give to your younger self, slowly but consistenly. show them that it's okay to receive, to have boundaries, and that they're not being selfish or unkind if they set a boundary and stick to it, even if others ask them to toss it off. that they can and have to feel hurt, if that's how they feel. and remind them that now they have you: and you have the experience to understand what's behind a behaviour or request, you have the courage to ask if necessary, and then decide your answer according on what feels better for you (and not your hurt younger self, in constant need for approval). give yourself compassion, love and care. your younger self needs so much after all they have been deprived of. especially self love. so stay open to receive too cause you really are deserving. you already are.

[xannyzodiacs]

zodiacs in first house: an overview.

as you may already know, if you look at your birth chart, you will see a section for zodiac houses. these houses all have a meaning.

the first house focuses on self. we are going to discuss:

self, or how your first house impacts how you see yourself

appearances, or special features you may have

beginnings, or how your early life may have started

first impressions, or how other people see you

attitude, or how you act

approach to life, or how you want to live life

ARIES IN FIRST HOUSE

self: these individuals tend to feel pride in themselves. they may be more likely to talk about themselves in situations. they care about their appearances and are often seen sporting glamorous makeup looks and nice clothes. have the tendency to feel insecure easily.

appearances: may have unique birthmarks that are visible, typically have a sharp facial structures, body types are typically curvy or hourglass figures.

beginnings: these individuals may have been taught at a young age to not care about what others think of them. they may have grew up in either a loving household where they were the focus or favorite child, or in a bad household where they had to learn to love themselves because no one else would. was probably a super cute baby that everyone adored. probably has a ton of baby pictures because no one could resist their charm, even as a child.

first impressions: they come off as confident, kind, pretty, bold, and passionate.

attitude: may have a more reserved attitude. can have a "i don't start things but i do end them" attitude.

approach to life: approaches life in the way they want to. they don't care if something is taboo or unconventional. if they like it, they are doing it. probably has had the same approach to life for years. others may find their approach to life odd.

TAURUS IN FIRST HOUSE

self: these individuals may feel pride in themselves. may feel proud in all their achievements, no matter how big or small they are. very consistent in life, their style, and their appearance.

appearances: may wear more neutral makeups, may have more rough facial features, probably has the same appearance every day (like if you see them wearing pale lipstick one day, chances are you won't see them show up in dark colored lipstick the next day). jewelry such as earrings, necklaces, and rings to accessorize. they either prioritize their outfit, hair, or makeup above the other 2. if they prioritize their outfit, you will likely see them in a bold and glamorous outfit with a simple hair style and little makeup. If they prioritize hair, expect a super nice hairstyle with a simple outfit and simple makeup. and if they prioritize makeup, expect a bold and gorgeous look with a simple outfit and hairstyle.

beginnings: they either grew up in a well-off family where they were spoiled to the core, or in a lower class family where they accepted what they had. probably started working younger in their life. probably the type of person to sell lemonade whenever they wanted a new bike or something as a child. grew attached to things as a kid. they weren't the kind of person that had to get a new toy as soon as it was released, or a new phone every year. they believed as long as what they had worked, it was good enough.

first impressions: they come off as materialistic, hardworking, consistent, caring, and loyal.

attitude: "if i want something, i'm going to work for it" attitude. they don't believe they truly own something if someone else buys it for them.

approach to life: approaches life in a consistent manner. tries to stick to the same routines on a day to day basis. believes that in order to fulfill life, you have to work hard for what you want.

GEMINI IN FIRST HOUSE

self: these individuals thoughts on themselves constantly change. one day they may feel like they are amazing and worth so much. they next day, they may hate themselves. they are constantly comparing themselves to people around them.

appearances: probably looks more like one parent than the other. probably has features of both their parents, but with one parents' features being more prominent.

beginnings: probably grew up with multiple siblings. was probably more different than their siblings. probably was way ahead of their class and considered smarter than average.

first impressions: they come of as thoughtful, bold, honest, interesting, and intelligent

attitude: "i tell it like it is" attitude. they are not afraid to speak their minds. if they like you, you will know it. if they dislike you, you will also know it.

approach to life: very careful approach to life. likes to use logic over feelings. for instance, if they have a party they are supposed to go to but someone they don't trust is there, they will probably say "that person is bad and i don't want to associate with them" instead of "maybe they've changed this time". probably approaches life in a way that interests me, no matter how unconventional it is to others.

CANCER IN FIRST HOUSE

self: these individuals take good care of themselves. they try to get help if they feel bad. they try to keep their emotions in check (even if they fail occasionally). chances are they probably take after their mothers more than their fathers.

appearances: may wear more casual and comfy clothing. probably has clear skin, or at least skin with very few pimples or acne. probably has more soft, feminine features regardless of their sex.

beginnings: they either grew up in a loving home where their parents gave them everything, or in a home where they had to take care of themselves and their siblings. probably had a very traditional family. was probably closer to their mother than their father.

first impressions: they come off as nurturing, kind, caring, emotional, and beautiful.

attitude: "i have to put myself first" attitude. in this world, they believe that while being selfless is important, it's also important you prioritize your own needs over others, especially in serious situations. if they have a doctor's appointment and you have a party on the same day, they are not going to cancel that appointment.

approach to life: approaches life in a way that benefits them. they don't want to get hurt, so they won't. if they have to be emotional, so be it. they don't care if it annoys other people.

LEO IN THE FIRST HOUSE

self: these individuals genuinely prefer fun over their self. they don't care if going to parties and drinking is bad for them. life is too short to care so much. despite being like 80, they will still have a child-like streak in them. they will express themselves anyway they can.

appearances: may wear more flirty romantic colors like red or pink. probably wears short dresses, crop tops, and mini skirts because they are so confident in their bodies. likes to be bold and try new things to make a statement. likes a little flair in their life.

beginnings: they either grew up in a home where their mom and dad loved each very much, or in a home where their parents were always fighting or even divorced. as a kid, they were probably the ones that preferred coloring books and crayons over action figures and dolls. also probably enjoyed going to the park a lot.

first impressions: they come off as flirty, sexy, sensual, childish, extravagant, and dramatic.

attitude: "life is too short to care" attitude. what's the point of living if you're not going to live life to the fullest?

approach to life: doesn't want to settle down so early in life. likes to have freedom.

VIRGO IN THE FIRST HOUSE

self: these individuals care about themselves a lot. they take good care of themselves. probably considers themself to be very useful and gets confused when others say they don't need their help.

appearances: very healthy appearance. fit. likely has some prominent muscles.

beginnings: they either grew up in a very strict household full of parents who watched their every move, or in a household where their parents did not care about them or what they did. probably was above their class. developed good habits at a young age.

first impressions: they come of as caring, healthy, analytical, hardworking, useful, helpful, and generous.

attitude: "you only get one life" attitude. they want to do so much stuff in their life, and they will, because after all, you only live once.

approach to life: approaches life in a healthy way. tends to avoid drama and doing bad things. logical. has a hard time trusting people. likes to help. will probably feel bored if they're not doing some sort of task.

LIBRA IN THE FIRST HOUSE

self: these individuals have a habit of prioritizing what others think of them over themselves. if someone tells them they are ugly, they will likely try to change how they look instead of just being themselves. they are people pleasers.

appearances: very pretty features, charming, people fall in love with them easily

beginnings: they either grew up in a home where they had a good relationship with their family, or in a home with a strained relationship. their parents probably had them at an older age, and didn't have them as soon as they got married. they were probably the kid that everyone wanted to be friend in kindergarten.

first impressions: they come off as kind, friendly, pretty, charming, and generous.

attitude: "i want people to like me" attitude. will do things that please people, even if it's out of their comfort zone.

approach to life: wants to have as many friends as possible, doesn't want to commit to a single relationship until later on in life, wants to help others.

SCORPIO IN THE FIRST HOUSE

self: these individuals see themselves as very sexy. they know people desire them, and they take advantage of that. they are a bit mysterious and reserved, only opening up to people when they know them very well.

appearances: sexy features, nice body, probably wears dark reds and purples a lot. probably has piercings at least somewhere on their body (other than the ears).

beginnings: probably lived in a small family as the only child, or in a large family with multiple siblings or maybe an aunt, uncle, grandma, etc. living with them. probably came from a well-off family. probably had a lot of friends as a kid.

first impressions: they come off as sexy, sexual, mysterious, gorgeous, charming, and desirable.

attitude: "i know i'm desired" attitude. they know what people want, and they know that they are what people want. and they give in to that. they love the attention, even if it is in all the wrong ways.

approach to life: probably has a lot of sexual affairs and relationships, probably likes to treat themselves to expensive things.

SAGITTARIUS IN THE FIRST HOUSE

self: these individuals care about themselves, and will treat themselves. want to make the most of themselves.

appearances: probably wears more casual clothing. neutral colors. likes to stay modest, rarely shows a lot of skin.

beginnings: they either grew up in a family that was extremely religious and strict, or a family that was more liberal and carefree.

first impressions: they come off as fun, smart, intelligent, lawful, ethical, and caring.

attitude: "i need to fulfill my purpose" attitude, believes that everyone has a purpose in life. wants to fulfill their purpose within this life.

approach to life: fun approach, doesn't take everything seriously, attempts to fulfill a purpose, wants to make the most of themselves, follows their beliefs

CAPRICORN IN THE FIRST HOUSE

self: these individuals are proud of themselves and consider themselves hardworking. they set realistic goals. they make sure they look good, and are aware of their reputation.

appearances: professional look, usually wears more fancy or business-style outfits, makes sure they always look presentable, may have more masculine features like a sharp jawline or long eyelashes regardless of sex.

beginnings: they either grew up in a family of hard workers who wanted to make the most of themselves, or in a family where everyone relied on other people. as a kid, they probably had a lot of standards, expectations, and pressure put on them from their family. they were probably closer to a male figure in their family such as their dad, uncle, grandpa, or even brother.

first impressions: they come off as hardworking, charming, presentable.

attitude: "the only way to get things you want is to work for them" attitude. they will work for what they want and don't give in to people's wants easily.

approach to life: wants to make something of themselves and get a good career. sets goals for themselves to make their life less bland. balances both their private life and public life. probably also has a social media that they use a lot.

AQUARIUS IN THE FIRST HOUSE

self: very aware of themselves and their social life. kind to others, harsh to themselves.

appearances: kind features, very charming look that draws people in to them, may look a bit older than they actually are. are probably mistaken for someone's siibling/parent, even if it's the opposite (like one may be a parent of someone, but people may think they are actually the sibling).

beginnings: they either grew up in a household where everyone took turns taking care of them, or in a household where one parent had all the responsibility. was probably very social and had a lot of kids at school. probably imagined the future a lot and could not wait to grow up.

first impressions: they come off as friendly, social, extroverted, humane, kind, smart, hopeful, and dreamers.

attitude: "i want people to like me" attitude. and not in the 'i will do anything to please people' way. but rather in the 'if i'm kind to people, then maybe i can make more friends' way.

approach to life: friendly, wants to make and keep as many friends as possible. looking forward to the future, but still missing the pass. doesn't dwell in the past.

PISCES IN THE FIRST HOUSE

self: these individuals care about themselves. they know they are hard on themselves, but try to fix that.

appearances: soft features. may have visible scars on their body. baggy clothes. prefers comfort over beauty.

beginnings: they either grew up in a family where everyone was happy despite a situation they were in, or in a family where one parent died while they were young. may have had trauma as a child. hid their emotions. didn't like people seeing them cry or being sad.

first impressions: they come off as quiet, reserved, introverted, mysterious, private, and kind.

attitude: "death is inevitable and we all die" attitude. they don't really care about taking risks, and not that scared of death either. they know it's inevitable and that everyone dies. no one can run from death.

approach to life: risk taker, lives on the edge.

[greatbritishsimchallenge]

"You should be resting, not fighting," said Nalani gently.

Frankie hurriedly wiped the tears from her face.

"A fact I am sure Zale will recognise when he has calmed down."

"I don't know what his bloody problem is," grumbled Frankie.

Nalani tilted her head sympathetically, "I consider us old friends, Frankie. So, shall we dispense with lies and masks? They will be tiring for you to maintain, and tiresome for me to ignore."

Frankie dropped down on the sand, "he doesn't get it. My family... we're complicated... but, when it really matters, we're there for each other. To this day, whenever I've been struggling, I imagine Peggy and Maggie and my mama by my side and they help me figure out what to do... ok... maybe not my mama, she usually just yells at me, but still... even that is useful sometimes."

"How intriguing," replied Nalani. "Though, of course, you know that they are not there, don't you? The words they speak - whether guiding or condemning - come only from you."

"I know," Frankie begrudgingly agreed, "but... I wish they were here. I've lost my mama and Peggy and probably Maggie... I can't lose Morgan too. In her own way, she protects me... I'd just go from fuck up to fuck up without them."

Nalani sighed, "I had a similar feeling aboard your ship, shortly after Lesley's murder. I had begged my parents to let me leave Sulani and, when they refused, I ran away. To therefore find myself trapped in a human mutiny... well, you can imagine how naïve and foolish I felt. At the time, I believed I made a monumental mistake that evidenced my unworthiness to one day lead my people."

"But you don't now?" asked Frankie curiously.

"No, I do not. I am much kinder to my younger self. I did not like being born a princess - the sense of my life being pre-destined felt too constraining. My parents allowed me to run the stall in Sulani, in the hopes it might give me a sense of freedom and independence; it only worsened my feelings. Day after day in that market I was surrounded by humans with the free will to come and go from Sulani as they pleased, while I was tied to the islands forever more."

"When I discovered your plans to leave Sulani, it makes complete sense that I would try to join you and seek the sense of freedom that I so craved. The trouble was that I misunderstood the concept of 'freedom' in much the same way that you have."

"How's that?"

"I believed freedom to be something external - something 'out there' that I needed to seek and find. I thought I had to leave everything behind to be free. But I was wrong. I didn’t realise freedom could come from accepting the parts of myself I was running from. The journey to me reaching such a realisation began the day I boarded your ship."

"Nosce te ipsum," muttered Frankie.

"I am afraid you shall have to translate," said Nalani, "I am not as multilingual as you and Zale."

"Know thyself," repeated Frankie. "It's a Latin proverb that Peggy taught me once. I remember thinking it was so stupid - how could someone not know themselves? It's not like you could ever be a stranger to your mind."

Nalani chuckled, "I would go so far as to call it one of the easiest and most common things in the world - we are all capable of lying to ourselves and others with such success that we can formulate entirely new persons who have no connection to the truths in our heart."

Frankie exhaled heavily as she mulled over Nalani's words. Nalani surveyed Frankie's face and then said,

"The day you allowed me to empathise with you, you let me see far deeper into your soul than you intended. I learned a great deal about the truths in your heart. May I share some of what I felt? It may help."

Frankie bit her lip and nodded.

"For most of your life, the love you have experienced has come with conditions. With your mama, it was religious belief. With Maggie, societal expectations. With Morgan, blind loyalty. You have felt obliged to twist yourself into shapes that never quite fit in order to please them. You would complain about it, certainly, but still you did it. There is one exception to this: Peggy. She saw who you were and loved you unconditionally. You thrived under her care as you were free to be yourself."

Frankie bit her lip harder to try and quell the tears that were building in her eyes and said quietly, "Bloody hell. How do you do that?"

There was a sparkle to her eyes as she answered, "I did not do anything. You are the one who told me everything; I have simply put it into words."

"Simply," Frankie repeated with a small scoff.

"It becomes easier with practice," said Nalani.

"For a mermaid, maybe," grumbled Frankie. "You know - if the mermaids started charging people to share their souls with you so you could then help them understand their feelings, you could make an absolute fortune. You could call it... therapia... after the Latin for 'healing'."

Nalani smiled knowingly, "you are always thinking of how you can help others, aren't you?"

Start (Iron Age) | Start (Roman Britain) | Start (Anglo Saxon) | Start (Medieval) | Start (Tudor) | Start (Stuart)

Previous | Next

[dilly-dahlia]

I am absolutely loving all the lore for your rewrite so far, I am absolutely eating this up! But I just had to ask:

What about Dante?

You've done analysis on how you are rewriting Laurance and Garroth, that's 2/3 of the main guards. But I haven't seen anything about Dante (or most other characters for that matter but I'm speaking PD guards here (also I have a current Dante hyperfixation so the boyo is corrupting my brain))

If you don't have anything right now then that's fine, I was just curious about our beloved blue haired guard

listen. first of all shhh about the fact that i haven’t analyzed/rewritten a lot of characters because let me tell you. originally i had a hierarchy of the order i was gonna do these characters in and it looked something like this

and then it started getting confusing when I got to Gene and Sasha so I did in fact give up with the hierarchy and started freeballing. but that’s irrelevant ANYWAYS-

DANTE ACCARDI!! that’s the last name I gave them. i don’t have a lot for him yet tbh :( but here’s what I have so far!!

so he’s like, seven years younger than Gene (his mom had Gene young, and soon after having Gene his father died in this timeline so Dante is only Gene’s half-brother). and when Dante was younger (I mean like 4/5 young) he and Gene were super duper close. like Gene loved that kid with all his heart and actually ended up wanting to become a guard to protect the little guy

and another reason Gene wanted to protect Dante initially is because most of the population in Borobos is a magicks user or witch or warlock or mage or something divine. everyone has some form of something and a very very small percentage don’t. Dante is part of that small percentage, and because of that he got bullied A LOT. Gene would help by erasing/changing Dante’s memory of it, but obviously when he went to the guard academy he couldn’t do that

not to say that Dante’s parents were neglectful but uh… they did focus a little more on Gene because not only did he actually possess magic but he was a brilliant fighter (like he was head guard of Borobos after graduating the academy in no time). I feel like there’s a specific phrase or word for kids in Dante’s position but the only thing coming to mind is glass child but I know that’s not it anyways

so because Dante was sort of like unintentionally pushed to the side and bullied, he spent a lot of time by himself once Gene had gone off to the guard academy (in my rewrite children typically go just before they turn 13 and stay until they graduate at 18/19. they will come home maybe once a year. there are a few cases in which teenagers (14/15) are accepted, and their graduation is based on how they do) and to sort of occupy his time and distract from the loneliness, Dante poured his entire self into school and reading and became very book smart in an attempt to garner his parents attention

(side note but his parents are the married couple that should have been divorced.)

at some point Dante started learning a couple tricks to stun anyone that tried to jump him, so he was always covered in bruises. and when Gene came back, Dante had that extra layer of protection again. Dante was like 10 when his brother came back

I’ve kept the backstory regarding their falling out mostly the same from what I remember (I haven’t reached that part in my rewatch quite yet), but I did change a couple things

so let’s talk about Gene for a second. Gene is very headstrong and passionate and very one track mind. like once he gets an idea in his head, he does whatever it takes to get what he wants. (he’s also like, misogynistic but that has nothing to do with the incident with girl he fell in love with, noooo (sarcastic)) so like at first it was protecting his little brother, and then he put his heart and soul into the guard academy and becoming head guard of Borobos, which happened when he was about to turn 20 (he IS the youngest head guard in recorded history). so when he came back, Gene put his entire heart and soul into dedicating himself to his village, and Dante looked up to that, and decided he wanted to become a guard as well

now, remember when I said Gene does whatever it takes to get what he wants? so basically when he falls in love with the lord’s daughter, he starts telling Dante all about it. like she could literally just pass by them in the plaza and Gene goes

“That’s my future wife. Perfect as always. Irene, she’ll be the perfect mother and wife, don’t you think, Dante?”

and like Dante’s always been weirded out by these comments because like… it’s weird to him, especially with the possessive tone Gene takes on when talking about her. think like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast

and like two years go by, Dante is 12 and about to enroll into the guard academy, and then it all goes to shit

so I haven’t really touched the stuff where Gene went to change the girl’s memory and i don’t really plan to? because I kind of want Dante to like idolize his brother and then Gene goes and does that and Dante’s world comes like crashing down

but anyways Gene dies :) Dante is devastated for a little bit because Gene was actually like, one of the only people that ever really paid attention to him so now Dante feels like he’s ALONE alone, but it’s okay. because Dante’s going to go to the guard academy soon and then he’ll be a fantastic guard like his brother right?

WRONG! basically what happens is Gene comes back. same shit happens. Gene erases and changes everyone’s memory of Dante, and Dante is forced to run off to his uncle. he spends longer in the woods than he intended because he forgot the way there, and he finds himself in a different village where he catches a ride in a caravan to his uncle’s village (when he’s older, Dante realizes how lucky he was to have come across good people)

and remember how he was about to go to the guard academy? yeah, he doesn’t end up going. he’s so distraught over everything he goes into a dark pit of depression for a while, and it isn’t until he has a nightmare about Gene that he decides to enroll again

Dante is a very rare case for the guard academy. he started attending when he was almost sixteen years old and graduated on the Jury List only three years later just before he turned nineteen. initially, the academy was very hesitant to accept him because he was older than most new students, but also because he had no record of a life before he was thirteen. so they wondered if this kid just appeared out of thin air? what’s his deal?

but they decided to take him in. Dante already knew a couple combat techniques because Gene had taught him, and that definitely helped boost him higher in the program. not only that, but Dante also just had incredible intelligence for the written exams and passed nearly all of them with a perfect score. he was a quick learner and able to easily and quickly adapt to the changes around him, and soon enough Dante was the quickest graduate the academy had ever seen

(another side note, but Dante always had the ability to be stronger than Laurance and Garroth before the 15 year skip, the only thing holding him back was inexperience. when he shows up in my rewrite, Dante is 20 whereas Garroth is almost 29 and Laurance is 28, so they both have nearly a decade of experience over him. not to mention they both actually followed the normal schedule for guard academy graduates)

that’s all I have for his backstory right now. i’m also still coming up with his hairstyles throughout the series (hair symbolism is a very big part of my rewrite in letting the reader know where the characters are at mentally) but I do have a couple just stray headcanons and things i’m changing so here they are:

Dante develops a fear of passing time after Aphmau and them disappear into the Irene dimension. he’s scared that he’ll die before knowing what happened to Aphmau, who he came to consider a sister, and everyone else that went with her. he stayed in Phoenix Drop all those years but it was a very big debate with himself about whether or not he should leave just so he can let go. and after Aphmau comes back, Dante still has a fear of time and hates being late to anything—he’s always early

he and Nicole actually did get married. the two made a short trip to Meteli and got married under Cadenza’s ministry (many lords, head guards, and second in commands hold the power to officiate marriage, especially if the village is small). they were only married for a short time, though, before Nicole received notice of her father’s death. it was after she found out that she had to go back to Scaleswind to inherit the city, but Dante just couldn’t go. the two never officially divorced, but they don’t consider themselves to be married after Nicole leaves

okay thats fr all i got now i hope you enjoy this and eat it up as much as you did my analyses of Garroth and Laurance 🫡

and if y’all want more on specific characters just drop an ask i will gladly answer because it forces me to think about it

[cooliestghouliest]

PUTTY, chapter two

(chapter one), (chapter two), (chapter three)

PAIRING: virgin!Eddie/former cheerleader!Reader

SUMMARY: You’ve got a thing for Eddie. Eddie’s got a thing for you. You both just continue to use Olly as an excuse to spend more time stealing glances at each other, until you realize you’re the one who’s gonna need to do something about it.

SERIES TAGS and C/W’s: mutual pining, experienced!Reader, inexperienced!Eddie but he’s eager to learn, mostly sub!Eddie, insecurities and self doubt, narcissistic and/or absent parents, jealousy, mean basketball players, hurt/comfort, they smoke weed, eventual smut (18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI), uniform kink, dirty talk, foot jobs, hand jobs, oral (f!receiving and m!receiving), public sex, sex toys, unprotected PiV. more to be added as this progresses!!!

WORD COUNT: 3.1k+

TAG LIST: @emma77645

—

The night ended with Eddie sprawled out on his back against the hard ground, dark curls wet with sweat and face tinged pink from exertion. His little brother’s foot was on his chest, the heel of his tiny biker boot digging deep enough for Eddie to feel the weight of an indentation being made.

Although it would have been very easy to maneuver out of the hold Olly had him under, Eddie decided to call it a night and admit defeat. He was tired and hungry, but he knew the younger boy could probably last another hour or so out here, running off his endless childhood energy.

Eddie could not.

Eddie needed time to recuperate. He needed sustenance. Cold beer and concoctions of leftovers sitting in the fridge were calling his name.

Back in realtime, Olly raised his dull stick high in the air above his brother, ready to strike.

You, who’d disappeared into the trailer twenty or so minutes prior, came to Eddie’s rescue just as the makeshift weapon was about to make contact.

“Wait!” you called out, fingers moving to wrap around the bark, halting the boy. Olly looked nothing short of offended, mouth dropping at the audacity of his supposed Princess’ actions. You had to stifle a laugh at his expression.

“My dutiful nobleman, you’ve more than proved yourself to be a true warrior tonight. Buuuuut,” you sing-songed, brows lifting in suggestion. “Maybe we don’t slay the dragon. Maybe we keep him...” you paused for dramatic effect, dropping your attention to Eddie, “... as a pet.”

He probably shouldn’t have, and he didn’t know why he did, but Eddie really liked the sound of that.

“And we can make him do stuff for us?!” Olly exclaimed, his stick dropping to the ground immediately. The little boy loved the idea of having some sort of semblance of control over his older brother, even if it was all pretend.

“Sure,” you grinned, cheeks dimpling in amusement. You offered your hand out to Eddie to help him up as Olly ran around in circles, punching the air in celebration. Your tone was playful as you asked, “Right, Eddie? You’ll do stuff for us?”

Eddie thought he’d probably do just about anything you asked of him.

Jump off the highest cliff at Lover’s Lake? Right away. Run stark naked in the daylight down Maple Street? In a heartbeat. Never listen to another Dio album again for as long as he lived? Dio, who?

Play it cool, play it cool, Eddie thought.

He grabbed your hand, accepting the help, happy to have an excuse for any skin-to-skin contact he could get, and pulled himself back up into a standing position.

Making a show of clearing his throat, Eddie gave a deep bow, one hand pressed to his back as the other swirled in front of him. “Of course, my lieges,” he professed. “You’ve spared my life, and I am forever indebted to you.” Still dipped down, he rose his gaze to you, lips upturning. “Anything you want, my Princess.”

You bit the corner of your bottom lip, trying to stop your smile from growing too wide. You indulged yourself in a few more moments of silent eye contact before clapping your hands together and turning your attention to Olly. “Great!” you declared. “Now, Sir Olly, inside is a grand feast of garlic bread and spaghetti. I’ll be right in to help you wash your hands.”

The little boy let out an elated cheer and hurried around the side of the trailer, eager to eat a home-cooked meal for once. With Wayne working odd hours and Eddie not very skilled in the culinary arts, Olly was used to a cuisine of fast food or lunch meat sandwiches to fill his belly.

Aside from the yearly Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, that’s what Eddie had been used to as well. All his life.

His face softened at the realization that you’d actually cooked for Olly, and had cooked something of substance, nonetheless. You didn’t just throw a frozen dinner in the microwave or boil some Kraft mac and cheese, but you instead made a meal that required more than the most minimal of efforts.

Preoccupied by his thoughts, it took Eddie a few moments to realize you hadn’t yet followed Olly inside.

“You too, pet,” you said, curving your pointer and middle fingers at him in a ‘come-hither’ motion.

“You made some for me?” he asked, too shocked he was included in his little brother’s dinnertime to even register how you’d deferred to him. Pet. Had he realized, he would have had to grab Olly’s discarded cape to station directly in front of the zipper of his pants.

You weren’t Eddie’s nanny. There was no obligation to dote on his needs. Yet still, you had.

A distantly familiar warmth was beginning to spread throughout Eddie’s chest, a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long, long time bubbling right under the surface.

He didn’t have a chance to register just exactly what this feeling was before you answered. “You said anything I want, remember?” you reminded him. “And I want you to eat. Now come inside.”

𖤐 ֪ 𖤐 ֪ 𖤐

You liked to follow a schedule and routine.

If you were left to your own devices 24/7 with ample free time, your lifelong nasty habit of overthinking would rear its ugly, judgmental head.

You aren’t doing enough, you’re doing too much, you should be back in school, you should be thinking about when you want to start a family, you should really try to put yourself out there more, you should try to stop coming on too strong, you should have more hobbies, you don’t make enough time for your family, you’ve changed, you shouldn’t be so stuck in your ways.

If you were being honest, the voice of your inner monologue sounded an awful lot like your mother’s.

Because of your adamant strife against letting your spiteful subconscious dialogue win, you made sure you were on the go or at least always had something to do to look forward to.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday mornings were for Olly, while the nights were for PiYo, animal shelter volunteering, and secondhand store browsing. You coached two different cheerleading groups on Thursdays at the local YMCA, a morning class and an evening one. All day and night Friday were for Olly as well.

Saturdays were on-call for nannying, but Wayne typically had the day off, so you would often spend the afternoon hanging out with your sisters and then would spend the night suffering through dinner with your parents.

Sundays were the only day you allowed yourself to stay cooped up in your small apartment, usually with the distraction of a sci-fi or fantasy book, the genre intentional so you could get lost in a new universe for hours at a time.

You mostly looked forward to Fridays, because you knew Eddie would be home after three.

Technically, per Wayne’s initial briefing on your nannying schedule, you were able to go your own way whenever the older Munson brother got home. You suspected Eddie wasn’t aware of this, as he never mentioned it or asked why you always stuck around, so you’d continue to forego that bit of information in order to stay with no questions asked.

Eddie was none the wiser. He thought you were doing it to stretch out the hours you got to spend with Olly. It never occurred to Eddie you could also be trying to stretch out the hours you got to spend with him.

You would have lunch made for the three of you by the time Eddie got home from school. Then dinner would be served by six, the portion size enough so that there’d be leftovers for all the Munson’s later in the week.

Cooking was one of your favorite things to do. It was something you’d enjoyed since you were a child, when you’d spend the summer months in Turks and Caicos with your restaurant-mogul of a grandmother.

This is why, when Wayne lightheartedly mentioned to you once that you didn’t need to continue to spoil the Munson men with all of these different meals, you brushed it off and didn’t even for a second consider scaling back.

After dinner, you and Olly would typically watch reruns of Garfield or He-Man or one of his favorite three movies, whether it was Benji, The Muppet Movie, or Escape to Witch Mountain. Eddie would pretend to be busy with homework in the kitchen or would tune his guitar in Olly’s room with the door open, but really, he’d be watching you.

No matter how many times you’d seen the same episode or the same movie, Olly being a creature of habit and liking what he liked, you would be just as engrossed as the first time, eyes unwavering from the story unfolding before you on the small television screen.

Luckily for Eddie, this meant he didn’t have to worry about your attention diverting from the living room and finding him almost hypnotized by your every move.

He couldn’t help it, and in the secrecy of the shadowed kitchen or hidden halfway behind Olly’s bedroom door, he didn’t even want to try to hide it. He wanted to indulge himself.

Just like you, Fridays had also become his favorite day of the week, and not only because school was out for the following two days.

Friday was Eddie’s day to study the curve of your neck as you pulled your hair up in a messy bun while cooking dinner. It was his day to store to memory the high-pitched giggle that came from you at a funny joke in The Muppet Movie (one you’d had to have heard at least a hundred times by now). It was Eddie’s day to watch as your eyes grew heavy, blinking closed for minutes at a time here and there, head lolling gently against the armrest of the couch you were spread out on, surely exhausted from a long week of chasing his rambunctious little brother around.

Yeah, Eddie loved Fridays.

𖤐 ֪ 𖤐 ֪ 𖤐

Eddie frequently took smoke breaks outside on the small porch of the trailer. You, typically busy keeping his energetic brother happy, had never followed him out before. That didn’t stop Eddie from sometimes imagining you sitting next to him on the loveseat in the front yard, talking late into the night about serious shit and stupid shit and all the other shit in between.

In his head, he’d tell you about Hellfire’s newest campaign, and you’d listen intently, chin in your palm, head tilted toward him to take in every word he was saying. He’d tell you about what a hard-on Higgins had for him this year. Then you’d tell him about the Pilates classes that he’s seen you in at Starcourt, and maybe you’d teach him a move or two. You’d vent about some asshole you’d run into during your day, which would cause Eddie to simmer with rage when thinking someone in this world would be anything but gentle with you.

Eddie wanted those conversations. He’d get so lost in those imaginary scenarios sometimes that the cherry of his cigarette would start to burn his fingertips because he’d smoked it down past the filter, distracted, mind off somewhere in another reality.

And then one night, as if he’d finally manifested it, you did follow him out.

He’d been leaned against the side of the trailer with the roach of a joint between his lips, flicking a lighter absentmindedly.

“Ed?”

Surprised at your voice, the lighter flung from his fingers and his body jolted up off the paneled surface of the mobile home.

You stifled a laugh at his reaction, taking a few steps closer as Eddie bent over and began scrambling in search of the Zippo he’d flung. “Olly ditched me for bedtime. Want some company?”

“Oh, uh. Yeah, definitely. Totally don’t... I don’t mind. I would, um, I’d very much like it...”

So smooth, Munson, he thought to himself, fingers finally finding the lighter. Modern day wordsmith you are. Beyond charming.

You smiled, finding each and every one of Eddie’s mannerisms as endearing as the rest. You liked how sometimes he’d stumble over his words when you spoke to him, and you especially liked how flustered it made him when your attention was fully on him and nothing else.

Didn’t that have to mean something?

You’d seen Eddie in action in public before. He wasn’t shy or timid, so there had to be a reason he acted that way with you, right? Maybe the feelings you’d had for him for years now were reciprocated.

Tonight, you decided you were tired of only hoping this was the case, and you were on a secret mission to finally find out for sure.

You made your way to the loveseat a few feet away. You sat crisscross, the weathered fabric lightly scratching at the skin of your legs. “Sit with me.” You patted the empty space next to you.

Eddie breathed in deep and forced his legs to move toward you before he could second-guess himself, plopping his full weight down on the sofa beside you.

Much to his surprise, without a word, you plucked the small remnants of the joint from his lips and grabbed the lighter from his hand. He watched in awe as you lit it and breathed in. You let the smoke billow in your lungs before you leaned your back against the cushioning of the loveseat, relaxing into it with an exhale.

When you glanced back at him, Eddie looked incredulous.

“Wait, wait, wait -- you smoke weed?”

You laughed and inhaled another smaller hit before passing it over to him. Eddie took it and matched your hit, a quick in and out, eager for your answer.

“I’m full of surprises, Eddie,” you informed, matter-of-factly. “You know, I’d always sit inside and wonder if you’d ever invite me out here with you. But,” you offered a pout and Eddie wanted to bite your lips, “you never did.”

He took a moment to study your face. It was dark outside, probably nearing nine-thirty by now, but the glow from the streetlamp near the trailer was a golden halo around you, illuminating the shape of your face, the softness of your hair, the warmth in your eyes.

“I didn’t know you’d wanna come out here with me,” he defended.

You made a ‘psh-ing’ noise with your mouth. “Come on, Munson. I practically fawn after you whenever you leave the room. Always waiting for you to turn around and see me.”

Eddie couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He laughed, the noise sounding more like a scoff. “Yeah, right.” He took one more hit off the joint before leaning over to stamp it out in the ground, pocketing the paper to toss later.

Eddie Munson was not a litterer.

“I’m not lying!” you exclaimed, bringing your hand out to playfully shove at his shoulder. “I really like spending time around you.”

He felt like all the air was forced from his lungs at your admission. “You’re really serious?” he asked, voice quiet. Not that he necessarily thought you were fucking with him -- you’d never given him a reason to believe you were mean-spirited like that -- but Eddie was so used to things he wanted not working out for him, or things that seemed too good to be true actually being too good to be true. In this instance, he fleetingly and insecurely thought maybe he was the butt of some joke. Have the Princess fake fall for him only to break his Freak heart for fun.

You were very serious, but you chose not to answer him directly. You had a feeling offering only words wasn’t going to cut it. “Wanna come to a party with me when Wayne gets home? I told Chrissy I’d stop by. I’d like it if you came with.”

Eddie balked at her. A party? A party that popular, real-life Barbie doll Chrissy Cunningham would be hosting? That did not sound like a place for the likes of himself, unless he was invited to sell. He liked Chrissy, she was nice to him, but her friends, which also unfortunately happened to be your friends from high school, were not.

“I don’t know... Parties aren't really my kind of thing...”

“Please, Eddie,” you asked, eyes going round and voice beseeching. He had to stifle a groan at the soft solicit coming from you. You sounded so desperate for your wish to be granted. Your wish for him to spend time with you. Eddie loved hearing your voice in general, but hearing it like that? Music to his ears. Like a Sabbath song if sung by a super smokin’, staunchly sweet angel.

He chewed on his lower lip, weighing his options.

This could all be a rouse to embarrass him in front of the masses at some jock-packed party, further pinning him as a lovesick, gullible idiot — a laughable loser who thinks he’s got the girl in the bag.

But he really, really didn’t think you would do that.

You cooked for him. You cleaned his rings once with baking soda that time Olly had taken them and buried them in the mud as a prank. You sometimes helped him with calculus. You’d play with his hair if he sat in front of you while watching sitcoms. He thought you did that last one absently. You did it very much intentionally.

What fun was life if you weren’t taking chances?

Eddie was typically more of the adventurous type anyway. Maybe he would have a good time. Doubtful, knowing where the party was, but begrudgingly possible, knowing he’d have you by his side.

He mentally rolled a die in his head for courage.

Eddie Munson was not afraid of what people thought about him. Deep down inside him, sure, yeah, it didn’t feel great that his neighbors thought he ritually sacrificed goats or kept body parts hidden under his bed. But to the public, Eddie knew people thought he was confident and unbothered, if also insanely eccentric.

He needed to be that Eddie right now.

Eddie imagined the die bouncing on the long wooden table in the drama room at school, where Hellfire commenced. Hellfire. Those guys thought the world of him. Dustin would be smacking him in the back of the head right now for even hesitating to go to a party with a pretty lady.

The die stopped rolling.

Henderson’s face was there in lieu of numbers.

Good enough.

“Party it is, Princess.”

The grin that spread across your face made him forget all about everything in the entire world. He’d waited months now for you to look at him like that. All wide-eyed and deeply dimpled cheeks

When you threw your arms around his neck in a feat of success, Eddie felt invincible.

If you were hanging on him like this, how could this night possibly go wrong?

[chairofchaos]

You Deserve Better, and Other Points for Reflection

Hey friends, listen up. Real talk for a second, because nobody deserves this. And, in case anybody cares, I want you to know I come with 12 years of learning on this exact debate we have been having, because I had some very excellent fandom mentors in my communities and in the form of my uncles, who to this day support me writing and reading whatever hell I please, even in the face of protest from my immediate family. There was a lot of learning I had to do to be here with you now, and I am thankful for those people who were willing to tell me so.

If you want to post memes and think pieces and jokes and poems about a fandom debate, go ahead! You create the experience you want to see on your dash, and you will find your people.

If you want to discuss a fandom debate (a little or a lot), go ahead! I’m all for thinking through how we live and act and exist as a fan community.

If you feel that you need to take those things and turn them into vitriol to pour into the DMs and Anons of people who are running a fan week, that is not okay. Not in the slightest.

There is a big difference between debate, discussion, creative protest, and joking around, and intentionally using your words to create harm in someone’s life.

“But, Chaos, this [thing not directly sent to you/not specifically intended for you] hurt my feelings!”

Okay. Get burned once? Great! You learned something: don’t touch the hot iron again. (To translate: block the tag, block the person, whatever you need, and move on. If it isn’t for you that’s ok.) Hurt feelings are to tell you what you can and/or are willing to handle. If you don’t want to see it, block. (I love blocking tags it’s one of my little joys in life lol)

“Chaos, somebody said something really rude to me to my (virtual) face! What do I do?”

Well, you can either respond or you can block. Either way, it will probably help you to move on.

If you are responding, I beg you to keep one thing in mind. I want you to picture 7 year old you at the other end of that message. Or 13 year old you. What kind of words did they deserve to hear in a moment when maybe they weren’t getting something? Use those. Use them kindly, not in a condescending way, but in a “I want to explain this as gently as I would to my younger self” kind of way. If somebody keeps being mean, it isn’t worth it. Please use the block feature and move on. They are not worth your time.

Additionally, I would encourage you to do this: the “touch grass” mentality is something I only direct at myself. (I literally told myself to go touch grass yesterday, and there is at least one person who can corroborate that.) I stand by that decision every single day. It’s kept me out of a lot of trouble. Directing it at others does not end well, but directing it at yourself can be a good way to reflect and to consider sensible actions in the face of overwhelming situations or emotions (of which I experience many).

“Chaos, people are coming into anon and being hateful. Or just rude. Or they’re dumping triggering material into my anons.”

That is on them. That is not on you. They should not do that. And I am so sorry you are dealing with that. I’m going to be honest, I don’t know if you can block from anons (I’ve never even needed to look and so help you all if this is the post that makes me) but if you can, do. I will do what I can to help, if you need it. Regardless of where you stand on any of these issues, because I will not stand for hatred.

“I’m mad about [redacted] and I am going to be rude/mean/intentionally putting triggering material in people’s inboxes and activity feeds!”

You do that and you will be in a world of hurt, my friend. A world of hurt from yourself.

Because we create the experience we think we deserve. If you create an internet experience where it is acceptable to be hateful, vengeful, and downright cruel to other people, that is the experience you will receive in return. You deserve better than that. And if you believe that you deserve better than that but the people you’re directing cruelty towards don’t, then I want you to hear me: you will quickly find that you are not welcome anywhere. There will always be someone to disagree with. There will always be (at least) minute discrepancies in the way two or more people think, even people who are deeply similar.

Hurt the hand that reaches to help you- one day it will be raised against you in hurt as well.

As for me? Well, for that, I leave you with thoughts from George Washington’s Farewell address as paraphrased in Hamilton’s ‘One Last Time’:

“Though, in reviewing the incidents of my administration, I am unconscious of intentional error, I am nevertheless too sensible of my defects not to think it probable that I may have committed many errors.”

I am not a president (and thank god for that because who wants Chaos in charge of a country?). I am simply a fandom member. A writer. A little chaos gremlin lurking behind trees in the forest.

But like Mr. Washington, I am aware that I often fail to live up to my standards and principles. And I hope, truly, though it is wildly uncomfortable for me, that you would call me out for ways I have failed to uphold them, either in the past or in the future. (It would be super great if you like… called me out in DMs and didn’t put me on blast but oh well.)

I am in at least four other major (international, GIANT) fandoms. I am not hopeful enough to think that the ACOTAR fandom will learn from the fandoms of yore. We will have to weather these storms on our own, even with the knowledge and experiences already there. I think that’s okay. Disappointing, perhaps, but okay.

Since this post was much longer than it was intended to be, I will summarize:

If you are intentionally putting hateful materials in the inboxes, DMs, and activity feeds of people you disagree with, you will hurt yourself.

You create the experience you think you deserve, and in doing so, create that experience for others. Good or bad.

Block tags, block blogs, block what you need to enjoy the space. You will find your people.

Being intentionally cruel to other human persons is how you end up finding that nobody is “your people” because you created an environment where no one wants to be. You will be lonely and sad. Don’t make yourself lonely and sad.

I am certain I fail to uphold these principles at times. Feel free to call me out if you see me failing at these. DM appreciated, but I’m the one who invited you to do so so I’m not going to say “don’t blast me on main.” My funeral, I know.

[trumpkinhotboy]

"All that matters to me is that you're happy"

Pairing: Nick Nelson x Younger sibling!reader

Type: Request (thank youuu !!)

Genre: Angst and fluff

Warnings: A few curse words, homophobic comments, having a homophobic family member/sibling, being “bullied” by a family member

Rating: 13+ (because of curse words)

Word count: approx. 4k

Requests: Open! For Heartstopper, Twilight wolfpack, Narnia and Harry Potter

A/n: I must say, I loved writing this fic, but it always make me feel a bit weird to write about someone who’s homophobic… I know it’s sadly part of our society, but ugh. Just writing those horribles words made me feel weird and the saddest thing is that they’re all things I’ve actually heard before ????? But anyway, i think the fluff really does outweigh the angst (lol) and im sending you all a big fat queer hug <33

*gif is not mine!!

** Can you imagine him hugging you like this? Making you feel safe and shit?? Ughh. Nick would be the best brother on earth that for SUUUURE (i even wrote a thing about it hehe, if you want to check it out it’s here :3)

Summary: After being around Charlie and his group of friends' the reader starts to question themselves a bit more, wondering what they’re own sexuality and gender might truly be. However, all that discovery isn't made easy by their oldest brother David, who’s never been one to shy away from speaking what’s on his mind (even though it's the most hainous and stupid thing you might hear:)). After a pretty heated fight between the two of them, the reader takes refuge in their room where they will at least get comfort and support from their other brother, Nick.

It had already been a week since your oldest brother, David, came home from university, and it was proving to be one of the longest weeks of your life. David's presence at home always meant you had to deal with a bunch of mixed and confusing feelings. You used to be quite close with him. Once, David Nelson was a sweet and funny boy, but since he entered his teenage years, he proved to be a complete asshat. You still had your good moments together, from time to time, but they were becoming pretty scarce. Especially since he started making all those homophobic and horrible comments about LGBTQIA+ folks. When something stupid came out of his mouth, which happened quite a lot, you usually tried to ignore him, not wanting to engage in a fight every single time. Especially when you knew he loved to do it on purpose, but it was incredibly harder to do since you had met Charlie and his friends and learned that your brother Nick was bisexual. That wasn't taking into account the fact that you had started to question your own sexuality. Fights kept sparking up with your brother, and you couldn't just stand down anymore and let him spew his homophobic nonsense.

Contrary to your habit, you came back from school alone that day. After you waited a good 15 minutes for Nick to make an appearance at the crowded gates of Truham, you sent him two text messages, which were left unanswered. You decided to head home anyway, knowing something must have come up for him.

Sitting in the old bus bringing you closer to home, you let your mind drift. You found your thoughts heading toward a subject that had become quite familiar to you in the past few weeks. You thought about how you admired Charlie and his friends. They were so accepting and loving towards each other. You always wished you could have a friend group like that. You had lots of friends at Higgs, some very nice ones at that, but it wasn't the same. You weren't your 100% authentic self with them. You would never be able to tell them how uncomfortable you felt with all the heteronormativity demonstrated at school and how you always felt a bit weird about being in a ‘girl's’ school. In fact, you didn't mind it at all, but you hated all the stereotypical crap that came with it. Deep down inside, you never really considered yourself a girl or a boy. You were just a human, existing and floating around, trying to make the best of life. You felt trapped by the gender box and wanted to exist outside of it. You wanted to do anything you wished, wear anything you wanted without having to think whether it was a "girly" or "boyish" thing to do. Until a certain age, you didn't really care about all of that, but the older you got, it felt like stereotypes were being pushed onto you even more. And lately, you just couldn't come up with a way to deal with it, although the need was getting more pressing with each passing day.

As you walked home, completely lost in thought and not really noticing what was in front of you, you bumped into a tall, and lanky boy.

"Y/n! There you are!" You heard Charlie's familiar voice say from afar, slowly bringing you back to the mortal realm. "Nick's been looking for you everywhere!"

"Oh, right," you mumbled. "I did wait at Truham and even texted him, but after a while, I just decided to go anyway."

The curly-haired boy stayed silent for a second, noticing you seemed out of it. Silent and pensive, instead of being your usual cheerful self. He shifted his head to the side, trying to catch your gaze. "Are you okay?"

You looked up at him, confusion filling your eyes. "I don't know," you admitted. "It's been an interesting past few weeks." You kicked small pebbles off the sidewalk as he took ahold of your arm, bringing you to a small bench on the side of the road.

"Do you want to talk about it? You know I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything." he kindly offered. You let out a heavy breath. How could you talk about something that didn't even make sense to you? 

"I-, I've been questioning myself a lot lately…" He didn't react to that declaration, giving you the space you needed to express yourself fully, but encouraged you to carry on with a subtle nod. "I-, you know, with you and Nick, and your friends and just, everything in fact. I- ugh, I just feel so trapped." Elbows on your knees, you pressed your closed eyes with the palms of your hands. A feeble attempt to relieve some of the pressure you felt buzzing in your overstimulated brain.

"Trapped?"

"Like I'm suffocating. People keep saying stuff that makes me uncomfortable, and I'm not sure why it makes me feel this way."

You turned to face him, his expression a mix of surprise and compassion. With his own coming out and Nick's situation, Charlie was getting quite versed in the 'question yourself' department. "What kind of stuff?"

"Well…" you hesitated for a second. Saying those things out loud felt like jumping off a cliff, and you weren't sure what was waiting for you down there, but Charlie felt like such a safe person. His kind and caring expression made you want to say the words bouncing around in your head for the first time. Deep down, you knew he was one of the few people you could tell this without being scared.

"I hate all these labels and stereotypes everyone seems to be pushing on me. I don't think I've ever really noticed it before, but now I see every weird reaction and surprised glance when I say or do something that might be just a tiny bit out of the 'normal' box. I'm just a human. I don't feel attached to any gender, either with myself or when I'm interested in someone. Their gender doesn't matter to me, it's their personality, interests, and how they treat me. That's what matters and makes sense to me." You were slightly out of breath after you blurted this whole thing out. Once you started talking, it felt impossible to stop. Coming to your senses about everything you had just told Charlie, you nervously looked his way. "Or at least, I think."

True to himself, he had listened patiently, never interrupting you. You took a deep breath, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders. It was such a refreshing feeling. Your brother's boyfriend looked at you in silence before smiling.

"I'm really happy, and honored you felt comfortable enough to tell me about all of this Y/n. Does Nick know about the way you feel?"

You shook your head no, feeling a hint of guilt creeping in. "I didn't know what to tell him… I'm not even sure how I feel can be put into clear words."

"Sometimes it is pretty hard to find ways to put an exact word on a state of mind, but if you'd like, I can tell you about some stuff that might be linked to how you feel. You're not the only one who feels like that, and even if it's not exactly the good word for you, maybe it can give you an idea. A hint of things to look up, to do some research on and see what that feels like for you."

You nodded excitedly. Your innocent enthusiasm exerting a laugh from Charlie.

"But. We'll do that as I walk you home, okay? Nick had a rugby thing tonight and panicked a bit when he realized he hadn't told you about it. He asked me to text him when I saw you and would probably feel more comfortable knowing I walked you home. So, is that a deal?”

The discussion you shared on your walk home was one of the most informative you've ever had. Charlie was full of knowledge, and he was incredibly good at explaining everything. When he left you on your doorstep, words like "non-binary" and "pansexual" still danced around in your brain. You thanked him thoroughly before promising to keep him updated. You entered your cozy home, feeling some relief for the first time in a while. Nellie's excited welcome only made it better. She was dancing around your feet, letting out high-pitched barks.

"Y/n? That you, darling?" you heard your mother's voice call from the kitchen.

"Yes, mum!"

You joined her in the delicious smelling room after you granted Nellie your entire attention. She was still following you around, almost making you trip as she slipped between your legs. As you came in, you were incredibly happy to see the plate of lasagna your mother put in the stove.

"You're a bit late. Everything alright?"

"Oh yes. Charlie walked me home since Nick had a rugby thing. We got distracted a little bit, that's why."

Your mother only nodded with a smile. She absolutely loved Charlie and knew that if you were with him, she didn't need to worry about a thing. She entirely trusted him to take care of her Nelson babies.

"Dinner'll be ready in twenty."

You nodded before you walked to the living room, your bag slung over your shoulder.

"Hey." saluted David. He was sprawled on the couch, focused on some video game on the screen. Nellie, still on your heels, let out a low growl when she noticed his presence. Like you, she wasn't much of a fan of David's. You rolled your eyes as you realized he had, once again, borrowed Nick's Nintendo Switch without asking. You finally grunted in response, not wanting to end your good mood by engaging with him. "Heard you say that Charlie walked you home."

His comment immediately made you tense up. When David was mentioning Charlie, it rarely ended well. You still remember vividly the night he had met him, all the things he had said, and how much of a dick he had been. You had felt so bad for poor Charlie and spent the night in Nick's room, allowing him to vent about the situation. "Yeah." you cautiously answered.

"So?"

"So what?" you turned on your heels, facing him with a challenging look, daring him to say some dumb shit again.

"Well, he's not trying to turn you gay, is he?" he snickered.

Your mouth opened in an astonished 'oh'. He didn't dare to say that, did he? If his comment hadn't made you so angry, you would have laughed at his stupidity. "What the hell, David. Do you even hear yourself?"

He let out an idiotic laugh, sounding like all the morons you had the pleasure to cross paths with at school. "No, but I mean, he's already convinced Nick, maybe you're next on the list. Maybe he wants you to join his little gay club."

Tightening your grip on the strap of your bag, your blood boiled in your veins. If you were a comic character, high-pressure smoke would come out of your ears right this instant. You couldn't understand how such a hateful and horrible human being could be related to you and the rest of your family.

"Shut the hell up. What does it bring you to be such a dick?"

He put his game on pause, noticing the change in your tone. "Oh my god, not you too. Can't anybody take a joke anymore?"

"David, I swear, you better shut up. I'm done letting you say such hateful things without saying anything."

"Listen, I just don't want to be stuck in a house with so many gay people. Don't want to catch it, you know. I don't even get it. It can't even physically work between same-sex people. Is it some weird kinky stuff? Am I really cursed to be the only sane one in this family?" He started his game again as if he hadn't just said one of the worst things you had ever heard. At this point, he wasn't even trying to hide his homophobia. You always tried to keep the peace between you two, knowing it made your mother very sad when you got in fights, but this was your limit, and he kept crossing it as if it didn't matter.

"I don't even know why you keep bothering coming home when all you do is be a stupid piece of shit towards Nick and me. You were an asshole to him when he came out, and now you want to do the same to me? You're not even nice to mum! I, we, don't need this in our life."

"You too? So you are gay?!"

"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!" You took a breath, trying to refrain from punching him straight in the face. "You know what, I'm not interested in having a relationship with someone like you. You try to act as if you are this cool and nice older brother who's just joking, but you AREN'T. You're just mean and a fricking homophobe. Don't you ever talk to me again, got it?" You kept your tone cold, but made sure that every word coming of your mouth was coated in venom.The 'game over' sound escaped the TV, your brother staring at you, clearly dumbfounded by your last words. You left the room before you could start crying in front of him and bumped into your mother, her eyes wide open. No doubt she had heard the last part of that conversation. It broke your heart to see the expression on her face, but if she couldn't recognize when her own son was being a bully, that wasn't on you. She would never accept that behavior from anyone else, she was giving him too many chances, and you couldn't abide it when it came to something as serious as this.

"Y/n, darling…"

"I don't know why you still allow him to come here. It's been years since David has been decent to us. I'm so tired of it Mum, I'm done with it. I can't take this anymore, and someone needs to tell him this is NOT okay. I'm not talking to him anymore, and I really mean it. This isn't a petty little fight between siblings. This is serious."

"I-"

Your attention was captured by the front door opening on a very sweaty Nick.

"Hi, I'm home!" you heard his familiar voice say. The smile on his face vanished when he noticed the expression on you and your mother's faces. "What happened?" he asked seriously. Worry invaded his hazelnut eyes at the sight of your disheveled figure, your chest quickly going up and down, your breath shallow with anger. Your mother's state wasn't comforting either. She looked absolutely brokenhearted.

"David. That's what happened," you said with a sarcastic smile before you went around your mother, climbing the stairs as quickly as you could to escape into your room. It didn't take very long for you to hear the screaming coming from downstairs. A mix of your mother and both your brothers' voices. You shoved your head into your pillow and slipped under the covers, trying to make yourself as small as possible before you let the tears run freely down your face.

You opened your eyes after some time, feeling as confused as ever. You felt like you were on another planet, hunger rumbling in your stomach. You looked at the time on your phone with half-opened eyes. 8:00pm. You must have fallen asleep after all the crying. 

You listened carefully, trying to hear what was happening downstairs when you saw your door open about an inch. Nick's face was peeking in the crack, trying his best not to make a sound. "Hey, kiddo. Can I come in?" he softly asked. You mumbled a yes, slowly sitting up in your bed, trying to regain some grasp on reality. His hands were full with a tray containing a plate of delicious-smelling lasagna, a steaming cup of tea, and a piece of brownie your mother had baked the night prior. He put it down on your night table, his eyes looking for yours.

"So."

"So."

"Mom told me what happened with David." he started. "I'm so sorry Y/n. Usually, I try to protect you from him. I'm sorry I wasn't home to prevent that whole situation from happening."

Once again, your eyes filled with tears. You didn't think it was even physically possible after all the crying you had already done, but here you were. You looked down at your fidgety hands, determined not to let him see the emotion arising in you.

"Yeah. Well, he's David. We know he's horrible."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he has a right to act like this. Mum said she'll take care of it. He really crossed the line this time." 

His hands were stuffed in the pocket of his gray sweatpants. A few wild strands of reddish hair fell in his eyes. He still looked so worried, guilty even. He had hoped you never would have to go through that and couldn't help but feel responsible that it happened anyway. You didn't dare to add anything, afraid that speaking would break you. Everything you were feeling was already so confusing, and the fight with your brother only made it worse. Nick kept staring, unsure what to do. He wanted to be there for you but didn't want to push your limits. He decided to sit on your bed, close, but not enough to be in your personal space. A very gentle approach was probably the way to go. You kept staring at your knees, knowing if you looked at him, it was done for, you would crack again. Nick and you were incredibly close. He was your brother, and in a way, he was an extension of yourself. You would do anything for him and knew the feeling was reciprocated. Having that kind of relationship had its advantages, but when you were trying to keep yourself from falling apart… it was kind of a pain. How could you look into his eyes and lie about everything you felt?

Gently, he took ahold of your hands. "Can I do anything to help?"

You stared at your hands covered with his freckled ones. These hands helped you through so much. They steadied you when you learned to ride a bike at seven. They always held yours when you were scared, and they always rubbed your back soothingly when you needed comfort.

You finally lifted your gaze, tears rolling down your face. You nodded as your lower lip started to shake uncontrollably. "Can I- can I have a hug?"

He took a deep breath before wrapping you in his arms.

"Come here." he engulfed you in his embrace making you feel protected and as safe as ever. He jumped under the covers so you both sat, your backs resting on your headboard. His arms still around you, and your head on his chest, you assembled the courage to let the words stuck in your throat be expressed.

You told him about all the things you had been questioning lately. All the stereotypes and labels that made you feel trapped. You told him about your walk with Charlie and how good it had felt to hear that it was all okay, that you were okay. Your gaze turned dark when you told him word for word about your conversation with David. You felt his grip tighten on you for a split second. You were no stranger to the anger David triggered in your brother.

"And then you came home, and now we're here." You ended your monologue and looked up to him. His brows furrowed, he seemed in deep, deep thoughts. Looking straight ahead, everything you told him was still settling in his mind. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, until my discussion with Charlie, I didn't even know what I was feeling."

The mention of his boyfriend seemed to bring him back to the present. He looked at you, forcing a smile on his lips that did not quite reach his eyes. "That's okay. You don't ever have to tell me something if you don't feel ready. I'm glad Charlie was there to catch you when you needed to."

You smiled, feeling once again that comforting warmth spreading in your chest. You were incredibly grateful to have such an amazing brother as Nicholas. You squeezed him a bit tighter. He reciprocated your gesture while resting his cheek on top of your head.

"Although I must admit I am a tiny bit jealous that you told him before me…"

"Jealous, uh?" you giggled after getting up, staring at him and the sparkle of mischief in his eyes.

"I'm just saying I want you to remember who has always slipped you some candies when mum said it was enough. Before you replace me with Charlie, that is."

You burst out laughing, remembering the many times you almost got sick because of all the candies Nick had slipped you.

"No worries, brother. I'm not thinking of replacing you just yet. You're too useful to me."

"Ah! That's comforting." His gaze in the direction of the ceiling, the smile on his face stilled. "I'm really sorry again about David. He's such a dick. I already felt so bad for what happened with Charlie. I'm so mad he dared to do the same to you." Your oldest brother's inner brain working was something that needed to be examined by scientists. You would never pretend to know how it even worked. "I thought that it was me he specifically had a problem with. I hoped that your youngest sibling's status would protect you. That was foolish of me. I should have said something before."

Rubbing his eyes with his hands, he seemed incredibly tired and vulnerable. You hated that someone from your own family could have that effect on him. In fact, you hated that someone in your family caused you all so much hurt.

"David's always been like that. Ever since he turned fourteen, he's been a bully. I think the important thing is that we never let it slide anymore. I think we all gave him too many chances, and it resulted in the lovely human being he is now." You reached for his hand once more, hoping to take away some of the guilt in his eyes. "This is not your fault Nick. You know how much I appreciate how you're always there for me, but I need to fight my own battles, and this is what I've done today. As shitty as it feels to know what David thinks of queer people, I feel incredibly proud to have stood up to him. To have said enough."

Your words seemed to lighten up his mood. The smile on his face wasn’t full yet, but it was getting much closer to a heartfelt one. "I am proud of you too. You're such a badass kid."

Curling your arms to show your guns, you wiggled your brows, hoping it would make him laugh and bring back on his features that dear smile of his. To your advantage, you did know your brother pretty well because he couldn't contain his laugh at the display of your dumb antics.

For the rest of the night, you stayed hidden in your room. You ate your whole plate and decided to put on a movie. You decided that the best remedy to such a shitty evening was to have one of your infamous movie nights. Nick even went out to fetch Nellie and some more sweets to satisfy the both of you.

"Y/n," he whispered halfway through the movie. A huge bowl of popcorn on both your laps, yours salty and his sweet, Nellie sprawled at the end of the bed, you hummed, reluctantly taking your focus away from the screen.

"What? I swear if you're about to ask me for some of my popcorn again, I'll punch you."

"It's not that." he chuckled. "I, I just want to say that if you need help with anything in your… your quest of understanding your sexuality."

"My quest?!" you interrupted with a laugh.

"Shut up." he threw some popcorn to your face, which you immediately ate, before he continued. "No, but I mean if you need help in your research or want me to be mindful of the pronouns I use for you. I want you to let me know."

You paused the movie, your expression a neutral surprise. "Nick, I-"

"No pressure or anything! I know you're still exploring and learning about new stuff. I just want you to know that I'm 100% here for you, no matter what, okay? You can ask me anything, and I'll do my best to help and support you. All that matters to me is that you are happy."

You stayed silent, the idea of exploring your pronouns still hanging in the air in front of you. You scrunched your nose and buried your face in his shoulder.

"I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you, Nick," you whispered with muffled words that barely came through the fabric of his sweatshirt.

"Better than Charlie?" he whispered back, diffusing the seriousness of the moment. You sat straight again, looking at him, a sparkle glowing in both your eyes. He was dumb. He loved to make jokes and tease you, but he was your big brother and your best friend in the whole world.

You offered him some of your salted popcorn before you focused again on the movie. Even though this had been a shitty week and evening, you took some time to just appreciate this precious moment, and took comfort in knowing that no matter what, you would always have Nick by your side.

[chaifootsteps]

Hi Chai,

Since I know you are not a transmisogynist, what are some of your favorite transfem characters or characters you hc as transfem?

Btw this is the Malva anon again, I've been sending asks more than once but I realized I may be a regular asker now lol

GL with Bluesky

*Rubs hands eagerly*. Gladly! Let's talk about some ladies!

Rachel Bighead from Rocko's Modern Life

My friend and I were watching this in VC the other night and Rachel's probably my favorite example of how to "trans" a character, especially one that's been around for a long time, right. Nothing about it feels shoehorned or asspulled or like it was done to appease a board somewhere. Ralph's defining characteristic throughout Rocko's original run was being absolutely miserable all the time, no matter how much success in life he achieved, and so when we learn that he went off soul searching and discovered Rachel was the answer? It made perfect, beautiful sense.

Rachel's just...amazing. She's dry as ever, but unflappably confident. She's Ralph at perfect peace, and the journey we see the Bighead family go on? Bev's immediate acceptance, Ed's tearful epiphany that that little tadpole who damaged his retina is still right in front of him, and the three of them hugging? God, this part of the special was so good. Rachel's so good.

Also, I ship her with Rocko like whoa.

2. Grell Sutcliffe from Black Butler

I freaking love Grell. She's absolutely nuts, has an awesome design and a kickass weapon, and was surprisingly poignant and not-meanspirited considering the time period the show came out in. I love how the English dub has her give a kind of orgasmic bird squawk every time something goes right for her. 10/10, would support every last one of her woman's wrongs.

(Incidentally, Grell's one of the reasons it annoys me when people call me transmysogynist based off my opinions on Arcee, because let me tell you, I did my tour of duty back during the Grell Wars.)

3. Jerry/Daphne from Some Like it Hot

First of all, this movie's amazing and if you haven't watched it and don't know the very famous ending, go remedy that right now. And then chase it with this fic. I'll wait.

I'm firmly in the camp that believes Jerry/Daphne is genderfluid, and holy cow, is this a lovely little story of self-discovery and falling in love. It's just so special to me. It makes me smile like a damn fool every single time.

4. Fem!Shep from Mass Effect

Okay, this one's kind of cheating because Shepards are customizable and can be anything you want, but I loved the idea from the get-go. That's in part because fem!Shep's model still moves like male!Shep, and it's especially noticeable when she sits, but it also just kind of feels fitting with a lot of the dialogue options. In conclusion, my Shepard was great and I need to replay that game with Legendary Edition because I miss her deeply.

5. Maevaris Tilani from Dragon Age

Mae's wonderful on so many levels and she's a character I'm very excited to meet face-to-face in Veilguard. She's stunning, an absolute powerhouse, she's good friends with my my beloved Dorian, and her relationship with her late chubs hubby was beautiful. I'm pretty sure she's not going to be romanceable, but if she was, I think my Rook would be doomed.

6. Hana from Tokyo Godfathers

This movie's a treasure and so is Hana. I like that she's old, she's stubbly, she doesn't pass flawlessly, but by god, if anyone deserves to be a mom, it's her.

7. Angel from Rent

Another genderfluid character! At least, that's my best guess. I've always loved that we have no fucking clue exactly what flavor of genderqueer Angel is, that not even the cast seems unanimous on it.

I loved Rent when I was younger, thought it was so deep and profound, and it's kinda not but Angel was easily my favorite character. Still is.

8. The Laughing Cow and the Lactaid Cow

They're cows that don't have udders and they're gay and in love, I don't make the rules.

9. Anode and Lug

Transfem lesbian bots from RiD's (the comic run IDW Arcee is from) much more competently written sister series, they're a demonstration of how to do it right. I like that one transitioned medically and the other didn't. Anode features very prominently in my Arcee fix-it fic and I grew very attached to her while writing it.

10. Marco from Star vs. the Forces of Evil

I'm gonna level with you, I never actually watched this show. But I was very invested in this one back in the day and disappointed when it never came true.

Honorable mention: Art the Clown from Terrifier

While I don't exactly headcanon Art as transfem, there's a fic on ao3 that explored the idea and I kind of dug it. I could see Art much younger, with many possible futures laid out, and that being one of them. I think if something fundamental hadn't broken in his soul/brain, he would have been either trans or a fruity old drag queen, happy as a clam.

Mind you, this is all fanon talk. My jaw would hit the floor with horror if this became canon and Art would go straight on the pile of characters I get yelled at for "misgendering" because if I refuse to swallow rotten food.

[ramshacklerumble]

1-3, 10, 12, and 17 for Sorrel

(1. Answered Here!)

--

2. Does/has your OC struggle(d) with internalized homophobia? How have they learned to cope, if at all?

sorrel spent YEARS believing there was something deeply wrong with him. it wasn’t that he couldn’t accept his feelings, he was fully aware he had them and knew what they were (i mean, it makes sense, right? a freak like him couldn’t even be normal in the most BASIC of life’s rules. boy meets girl. boy marries girl. boy and girl have children and live happily married after.), but it was more that he was resigned to the idea of keeping it locked up tight. maybe if he ignored it, everyone else would too.

this changes drastically when he attends NRC, since it’s quite literally the first time in his life where he meets new people. he meets OTHER queer people for the first time ever. and it’s not an immediate shift in his self-perception or the feeling of otherness, but it certainly is The Big Step he has towards realizing that he’s not a disgusting little failure of a human being.

by the time he’s an adult, he’s so comfortable with himself— he’s happy, he’s thriving. at that point, he’s been with trey for a good while and even when the prospect of polyamory is seriously brought to the table, he’s not shaken by it or feels like he has to overcome yet another internal blight. (no, the problem there is that sorrel and trey’s potential third is being…a bit of a mess. hi cater.)

--

3. When did your OC realize that they may be different form other people?

yikes. pretty young.

it’s probably something like sorrel makes an innocent comment that was read romantically about another boy and he got a lot of giggles and ‘ew’s.’ which he laughed along with, but was internally like ‘i didn’t say anything funny…’

and then he just…never saw anyone talk about two boys the same way they would about a girl and a boy, so it was pretty quickly apparent to him he was on a different page— ESPECIALLY when it was evident that as part of the madrigal household, he was especially expected to find a wife and have even more little madrigals and he…really…couldn’t stomach that idea no matter how hard he tried growing up.

--

10. What’s something your OC knows now, (in regards to their sexuality/orientation), that they wish they could have clarified or guided their younger self through?

YOU'RE FINE, DUDE. THERE'S MORE PEOPLE LIKE YOU. YOU'LL FIND PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND THEY'LL WANT YOU AS MUCH AS YOU WANT THEM!! YOU'LL FIND LOVE! YOU'LL KNOW LOVE! YOU'RE OKAY!! YOU'RE OKAY!!! YOU'LL BE OKAY!!!!

--

12. How would your OC deal with a homophobe? Would this reaction be different if the person was targeting someone else?

as he is now? sorrel would just very nervously try to disengage conversation and get the hell away. he's never been the kind to confront someone, he's too anxious for that- if it became physical and he had no other choice BUT to defend himself, then it's just enough to get away. as an adult, he's still very much not the type not to get into any sort of argument with someone (especially if it's a lost cause), but he's isn't anywhere near as scared. so he'd disengage, but it's firmly.

as for another person, if he thinks they're in legit danger, he's stepping in to try to pull them away whether that be verbally or physically depending on what the urgency is, but his first priority is always defense and making sure the person targeted is okay.

--

17. Would your OC ever participate in drag? What would their stage name/personality be?

sorrel did actually think hard on this-- i feel like he'd actually struggle with doing drag...? it'd be a thing of wanting to, even coming up with a name and everything (Mari Posa), but when the time came and he's seeing himself in the mirror something about it feels...off.

he'll definitely go through with it-- he's an actor and he does love a good show, but deadass he feels dysphoric in the getup. so it's a one time thing and he has a hard time explaining why.

(more asks? here!)

[fruitymocha]

Laboratory of Love

Starring: Idia as The Creation, Ortho as The Assistant, and You as The Mad Scientist

Warnings: Yandere themes, mental instability, mentions of corpses and general post-mortem shit, violence/violent tendencies, murder, and psychological torment (both self inflicted and from an outside source). I DO NOT CONDONE ANYONE’S ACTIONS IN THIS STORY. THIS IS PURELY FICTION AND SHOULD NOT BE EMULATED. DNI IF YOU ARE YOUNGER THAN 16, ARE EASILY FRIGHTENED, OR DO NOT LIKE DARK/YANDERE THEMES.

A/N: you guys! As of writing this author’s note, Little Songbird has over 90 likes! Thank you guys so much for the interactions, it means a lot, especially since I was kinda worried it wouldn’t be received well when I first posted it. Also yes, I know it’s been a year, but it’s fine, just go with it. This literally has been sitting in my drafts collecting dust since last October, so it’s about time I resurrect this thing (yes this is a purposeful joke). I hope that you guys enjoy Laboratory of Love just as much as Little Songbird, and without further ado…

Round and round we rewind the reel…

Y/N L/N. That is my name. My mission is to investigate the world of the living and find the spark of life.

Unfortunately, the people outside are cold and unyielding to modern science. They are stuck in their old ways, believing my research and experiments to be… sacrilegious.

Hence why my secret lab is hidden away in an abandoned tower. It’s close enough to the city that I can easily acquire modern equipment and resources, but also foreboding enough to keep people away. Or did my reputation do that for me? Who knows.

“Ortho, have you acquired the book?”

“Yes Doctor. The Book of Shadows, as you requested,” The young boy handed me a thick leather book, his fiery blue hair flickering in child-like joy.

“Thank you, Ortho,”

“You’re welcome, Doctor,” I flipped through the pages, hoping to find its alchemy section. “Doctor, do you think science and magic are compatible?”

“There’s only one way to find out, Ortho, and you know what it is,”

“Aren’t you worried about what could happen if you use dark magic?” I sighed.

“Ortho, we’ve been over this,” I said, focused on the alchemical symbols in the Book of Shadows. “I don’t believe in ‘dark’ magic. There’s no such thing as ‘light’ or ‘dark’. Society simply deems ‘light’ to be the ‘safe’ and acceptable type of magic, while ‘dark’ is more dangerous and selfish. But if humanity never trifled with danger, we would never be where we are today. We would still be at Nature’s mercy,”

“I understand now, Doctor. But please be careful!”

“You know I will, Ortho. They may call me mad as much as they want, but I have no death wish. I know how to take precaution,”

Ortho. Another societal outcast. Allegedly cursed with his fiery hair, and considered a bad omen. They said his blue locks were from the fires of Hell. So I took him in as my assistant, and I found him to be quite curious and inclined to help. A perfect job for him. Society may call me many things, but to call me cruel would be untrue.

“Doctor, what do you plan to do?”

“Learn the ways of Nature, and acquire that power for myself,” I said simply

“…why?” I thought about it hard. Then I knew.

“My time in university could not satisfy my thirst, so I will seek out the solution myself,”

“It’s only been a few months since your graduation, Doctor,”

“Yes, and that means all my higher education is still somewhat fresh in my mind, Ortho. It will help me,” I stared off for a moment before something struck me as odd.

“I still don’t understand why you call me Doctor, Ortho… I have not earned a doctorate degree,” I said slowly

“Because I think you deserve the title, Doctor,”

I closed the Book of Shadows, and silently turned to the setting sun out the window.

“Ortho?”

“Yes, Doctor?”

I thought for a moment. Am I sure I want to do this?

I sighed, and said it anyway.

“Where is the nearest cemetery?”

~*~

“Are you sure we won’t get caught, Doctor?”

“To be quite frank with you Ortho, getting caught is a very real possibility. If you’re not up for the risk, you can go back to the lab-”

“No. I- I want to help you,” I sighed while looking at the blue-haired boy.

“Okay. Let’s find some corpses,” I handed Ortho the smaller of the two shovels I brought. “Let’s get digging,” I walked in a random direction, with Ortho following close behind, looking for recently dead, young male bodies.

First Gravestone

We dug down and inspected his body. Unfortunately he wasn’t a good candidate. He died of plague.

Second gravestone

He was missing chunks of skin.

Third gravestone

His head was smashed, face unrecognizable.

Finally, we reached the fourth gravestone. We dug with less enthusiasm and more difficulty than when we started. But all the effort was worth it. The body was tall, skin sallow, head shaved. But his body was unmarked by plague or brutality. He was not rotting… yet.

“He’s perfect,” I whispered to myself.

Ortho and I loaded the corpse onto a wheelbarrow, but not before wrapping it in inconspicuous cloth tied together with rope.

We were lucky not to get caught.

As we made our way back to the lab tower, I thought about what I would do with the body. Create a puppet, perhaps?

No.

Better.

Create a sentient being.

Ambitious, but The Book of Shadows would likely have the power I need.

Now all I needed to do was find the right spell, get the materials, and do what needed to be done.

~*~

With the corpse strapped on the gurney, attached tubes and wires connecting to monitors and rudimentary electrical machines, and Book of Shadows in hand, I was ready to commence my ambitious experiment.

Thunder rumbled and rain pelted outside. I paid it no mind. I had drawn the sigils in my own blood and placed them on different areas of the body, just as instructed. Blood sigils were also drawn and dried upon my palms. Keeping the book open, I read aloud the incantation.

“Withering Corpse, cold as night

Your early death has caused you strife

I avenge your soul, I’ll make it right

I give your body the gift of life”

A blue glow began to radiate within the room, and I could feel the surge of power coursing through my veins.

The rain pelted. I paid it no mind.

The body in front of me became surrounded in a magical blue glow.

The wind shrieked. I paid it no mind.

The sigils on my palms thrummed and the drawn sigils on the corpse pulsed like beating hearts. Ortho looked on in amazement.

The thunder roared. I paid it no mind.

Any signs of the corpse’s state of death seemed to disappear, instead in a seemingly peaceful slumber.

But then lightning struck through the glass ceiling, and I did pay it mind as it struck the body.

A smaller, stray ray of lightning struck me too, and the last thing I remember was the pain of hitting the ground, and getting rained on by rainwater and broken glass.

~*~

I awoke to the sound of soft rain and Ortho by my side.

“Dr Y/N please wake up!”

I opened my eyes to see that I was in one of the spare hospital beds in my laboratory. I got out of bed, much to Ortho’s shock and worry. When my feet touched the ground, a small shock coursed through my body, and I convulsed briefly.

“Dr Y/N you need to rest, you were struck by lightning!”

“Ortho I must see him!”

Ortho sighed, but reluctantly handed me a wooden staff. I suppose it should do as a walking stick. With the stick’s support on my dominant side, and Ortho staying close by my other side, I shuffled my way to the Enrichment Room.

The Enrichment Room was a room co-designed by Ortho and I, meant for intellectual stimulation without putting too much strain. A less sophisticated way of referring to it would be The Brain Break Room. It was filled with leisure novels, puzzles, riddle books, and other activities that require some form of focus and thought.

Sitting there on the ground in a strange and twisted position, fiddling with a metal handheld puzzle, was The Creation. Instead of normal hair, he had long, blue fire, very much similar to Ortho’s. Hair from the depths of hell. His eyes were striking yellow, not unlike Ortho’s. His skin was still quite sallow, but at the very least it wasn’t post-mortem pale like it was just hours before. His mouth was slightly open, exposing his pointed teeth. Ortho also had pointed teeth, a fact I had grown accustomed to as he stepped into the role as my lab assistant.

I decided to attempt to carefully approach The Creation.

“Hello,” I said.

He looked up at me with wide, curious eyes.

“I’m the one who gave you life. You can call me Y/N,”

The Creation put down the metal puzzle and reached out a hand. The fingers were spread wide in an awkward position. It seemed that The Creation was struggling with fine motor skills. I took his hand, only for him to pull me down with him, walking stick rolling off to the side. His physical strength was remarkable! He stared, fascinated at my dominant arm, which bore red, jagged, bruise-like marks from the lightning strike. He then placed his palm on my upper arm, his own arm completely outstretched in a strange position.

“We should give him a name, Dr Y/N,” Ortho said, coming closer to The Creation. I looked into his eyes. Unaware, void of knowledge or experience, but curious.

“Ortho, I think when the time is right, he should choose his own name,”

The Creation croaked out a deep noise from his throat. I supposed he was trying to talk like Ortho and I. His existence is fascinating indeed.

When I went back to bed, I heard the creaking of footsteps, and Ortho speaking, though it sounded muffled as this was happening on the other side of the door, far from the bed.

“…be careful…need rest…tomorrow…this way…”

I turned to my side in bed, and I tried to relax so I could focus properly tomorrow. However, that proved to be quite difficult. Breakthroughs and discoveries wait for no one.

~*~

As the days went by, I noticed that The Creation had taken an interest in my work just as Ortho had. Occasionally, I would ask him to retrieve items or hold something. Otherwise, he spent many of his days in the Enrichment Room playing with the various handheld puzzles. One by one, he’s started to solve them, and I wonder just how intelligent he is.

I was just about to open one of the ingredient containers when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. The Creation looked over my shoulder, hunched, and maintaining that gloomy default expression.

“What is it?” I asked him. He pointed to Ortho, who spoke for him.

“He wants to learn how to talk,”

I looked at him for a moment, but then smiled to myself, shaking my head.

“Of course you do. And I would be more than happy to help,” I said to The Creation.

He smiled, in his own awkward, sharp-toothed way. It was charming, in its own way (though most of society would likely beg to differ).

And so, I taught him how to speak.

~*~

Weeks went by as I taught him how to be human. He learned to read. He learned to write. He soon mastered all the puzzles I had, and contented himself with disassembling and reassembling things in his free time.

He named himself Idia.

And he treated Ortho like a brother.

“Y/N,”

“Yes, Idia?” I asked, studying the Book of Shadows once more.

“I have come across this concept of ‘love’. What does it mean to love?”

I halted my study for a moment, turning to him. “Love can be many things. There is love for your family. There is love for your friends,”

“I mean romance, Y/N,”

“…that is something you will come to know when you meet someone very special,” I said finally.

“Is there anyone you love like that?”

“…in university, I knew someone, yes. That person is long gone from my life now,”

Idia stayed silent. I returned to my studies, disheartened by the conversation, and wanting to distract myself.

“…will I find someone to love me?” He asked.

I thought for a moment on how to respond.

“…I…don’t know,”

“Why not?”

“The outside world is not kind. It has not been kind to me, or to Ortho. They don’t be kind to you either,” I said, perhaps a bit harshly.

Idia did not respond anymore.

When I had time to look up from what I was doing, he was already gone.

~*~

A year has gone by since Idia’s creation. And he’s become something of a mechanical genius. He’s now the one who builds and fixes my machinery. How convenient.

But as the seasons have passed, he has become increasingly attached. Perhaps not healthy behavior. But what am I to do? His hair is blue like the flames of hell. He would be an outcast before anyone ever gave him a chance.

I felt the autumn breeze coming in through a window.

“Ortho, please close the window”

The window did slam shut. But when I looked up, it was not Ortho who shut the window.

“Idia? What brings you into the lab?”

“I’ve read more books. About love,”

“…And?”

“I want someone to love me. Make me my other half,”

“Idia, creating Life is not a simple task. Do you know what happened the night I created you? You got struck by lightning and so did I. If I do it again, especially in inclement weather, it’s very possible something could go wrong. Do you know how hard it is to find a body undamaged? Unravaged by plague? No part of this process is easy, Idia,”

“I don’t care how hard it is.” He said firmly. “Make me a lover, or I’ll make my own,”

I swallowed. It felt like my mouth was stuffed with cotton. He was serious.

“…alright. I’ll see what I can do,”

“You have one week,”

And with that, he left the lab.

~*~

It was considerably more difficult to find the second body. But I managed.

…but guilt was slowly consuming me. Idia was my best creation. A lovely, fascinating, raw creation. Proof of my conquering of Life.

But I couldn’t do it again.

So I took the body with me, and I used a rowboat to get to the center of the lake.

It was there that I dumped the sacrilegious body. I watched the corpse sink below the tides, never to be rediscovered.

I felt relief for once. Despite Idia’s threat before, I felt relief that I disposed of that body.

That relief was very short lived, and before I realized what was happening, I blacked out.

~*~

When I awoke, I was strapped to a gurney. Ortho looked at me, concerned.

“Doctor, I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop him,”

Idia emerged from the shadows, wearing my lab coat and protective gear.

“I told you I would make my own lover. And guess what, Y/N? I have,”

“Who did you hurt?!”

“I didn’t go into the town, don’t worry. They are stuck in their old ways. Unyielding to modernity. Unwilling to embrace progress. But you were,” he smiled his sinister, shark toothed smile. He and Ortho looked like brothers. But knowing what my dear creation has become, that comparison felt unfair.

The restraints on the gurney unlatched, and I stumbled off.

There was an unnatural pallor to my skin.

My limbs were somewhat rigid.

Something was wrong.

I scrambled around, looking for a reflective surface. I needed to know what happened. And I found a small handheld mirror. There was dried blood on my head. My skin was unnaturally blanched.

My eyes held the blue flames of hell.

“Idia…what have you done?”

“…I only meant to knock you unconscious. I am much stronger than I thought. But it’s okay, I found your Book of Shadows. I fixed it,”

I looked at him intensely.

“…you learned from the Book of Shadows?”

“Yes,”

“…and it worked…you…you’re incredible…” I said in awe.

“Doctor, what does this mean?”

“…It means Idia, my creation, has become a creator” I said.

“Just as you reshaped me and gave me new life, I have done the same to you, Doctor Y/N,” Idia smiled a satisfactory smile. He had made me into a creation. Like him. It had finally dawned on me. He remade me in his image. The “lover” he made was me.

And I laughed. I laughed until I couldn’t breathe. Until I forgot why I was laughing. Until I started to cry as I laughed. I laughed such a laugh they would have called me mad.

Well, they already did before.

Maybe they were right.

But it didn’t matter anymore.

As long as we all held the blue flames of hell in our bodies and souls, none of it mattered.

~Fin~