#but you can blame käärijä

[jedibinx]

I honestly don't know if those few who read my fics will like my next one because it's gonna be a risk but I want to explore the style of writing and the idea so badly that I'm going to take a leaf from käärijä and say "you may not like it and that's okay but I love it"

Yes, I only came up with the idea half an hour ago but I already love it.

[mrgintsu]

A lil rant I posted on my IG that I thought I'd share here

[peri-peri-sauce]

What prompts are floating in your head right now

Well… After yesterday's TikTok my mind has been short-circuiting and generating a long list of prompts and ideas about a certain man licking and sucking something long and thick (spoiler: not a 🥕) in the most obscene way possible, all while making eye contact and moaning loudly

Very normal thoughts yes yes 😇

[niuniente]

Sweden’s Aftonbladet newspaper Eurovision specialists Markus Larsson and Tobbe Ek  are letting out unbelievable butt hurt shit towards Finland because Finland didn’t give any televote points to Sweden. They spoke in Aftonbladet’s Schlagerkoll’s podcast titled Sorry, not sorry, Finland and this is what they said:

Finnish people didn’t vote for Loreen because we’re jealous of Sweden and everything they’ve got

Finnish people thought that 10 other songs were better than Loreen, like Lord of The Lost’s song, and this is a crime against Sweden!

-Since we didn’t give any points to Sweden it is just right that we lost because we’ve got a bad attitude (aka  Finnish people can’t decide what they like or don’t like but they must always like all Sweden’s entries no matter what.)

Europe wanted Käärijä to win but you know what? Audience isn’t always right. The jury must stay there to show what the audience needs because they can’t decide themselves.

How Finnish people voted is a proof that jury points can’t be taken away from Eurovision, because again, the audience doesn’t know the best what it wants.

If jury is taken away from Eurovision, it would force Sweden to plan again what kind of songs they can send to Eurovision to maximize their chances for winning (because Europeans are fickle and the audience doesn’t know the best)

-Käärijä is nothing but a partying salad bowl and you know what Finland; Fuck them (a literal quote!)

Also, in other newspaper, Swedish media called Finland as “kingdom’s old Eastern parts”. That’s equal for England calling India as their old South-Asian parts or any other colonialist country calling their prior parts and now independent countries as their own. Very racists and colonialist. I’m horrified to see such remarks just casually thrown out in Swedish media! Come on, Sweden! You’re better than than a racist country! At least you should be! D:

All this and only because people have been genuinely upset and angry that Käärijä didn’t win and televoting meant nothing, but the Swedish media and Eurovision staff is taking it on Finland and blaming it is just us who are upset.

Tell me again how this is just a song contest and I shouldn’t be upset :)))

This year’s Eurovision has been an absolute disaster...

[kidvoodoo]

Solitaire

The long drive from the airport passed by with a dizzying blur and Joost found himself barely taking in the scenery of the snowy streets, preferring instead to be captivated by the man in the back of the limo with him.

Käärijä. The upstart his own ex-boss had been complaining about not even a year ago. This was his savior and temporary bodyguard. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

‘He’s so much different than I pictured…’ he thought to himself. The man couldn’t be older than his early thirties, he was expecting some grizzled Fin with hard eyes and an even harsher demeanor, not an eccentrically stylish man with eyeliner, silver piercings and a bowl cut…

But the man, for all his oddities, was surprisingly warm.

He patched Joost up without question, risked his life and the lives of his people just to get the Dutchman out of danger. Joost doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand even in the slightest. He barely has a chance to process anything from the last twenty-four hours.

“Um,” he softly clears his voice, “I was gonna ask, where is a good place for me to lie low for a while? I have some cash I can use to pay rent…”

Käärijä looks at him with a puzzled expression, Joost shrinks a little under the stare.

“Why you need to rent? You coming to my place of course.”

Joost’s eyebrows shoot up and he nearly drops his glass of brandy.

“Wha-ah wait, I couldn’t do that, I would be bringing danger directly to you if I’m found out!”

The other man snorts a laugh, his eyes glinting with amusement.

“You think I scared of old Dutch gangsters? They are afraid of me! Besides, you try and go into hiding and they probably find you anyway.” He shrugs nonchalantly, as if he hasn’t just declared war on the entire Western Mafia.

“They always gonna find you, but they are stupid to try and take you while I’m watching,” he grins, those sharp canines giving his expression a vicious edge.

“Not the first time they try and cross me, now their men underneath a frozen swamp in pieces.”

Joost swallows, he forgot for a moment this isn’t just an excitable newcomer with a deathwish, he’s the Nordic Crime Lord for a reason. You don’t get far in the Underworld if you can’t get your hands dirty and bare your teeth.

“Still…it’s an imposition. I can’t in good conscience accept more help from yo-“

“Shh! Enough.” He silences Joost with a sharp word. “I say you are coming with me, you are staying at my compound. It is safest place in Finland I promise.”

Käärijä leans forward and fixes his gaze on Joost, much softer than before.

“Tommy doesn’t vouch for a lot of people. I hear you take two million from your former boss. I don’t know why you did it, maybe you need the money, but I do know a clever money man when I meet one.”

He smiles, he looks almost too sweet and genuine to have just been talking about butchered people and tossing their remains in a swamp.

“It take a lot of guts to do what you did Mr. Klein. We need people like you in the Union, if not as members, than at least allies.”

Joost drops his gaze to the ground.

“I didn’t steal the money for myself,” he says under his breath, ‘Am I really going to admit this right now?’

“What you do with it?”

“I emptied sixteen accounts and forwarded it over to INTERPOL, the two million is what the investigation is willing to discuss publicly.”

He looks up into Käärijä’s eyes and almost bashfully admits it.

“The total sum is around two Billion.”

<><><>

The rest of the journey was spent in silence, Käärijä seemed to adopt a more thoughtful demeanor as he no doubt was processing the depth of Joost’s gambit. He doesn’t blame the man, it still sounds absolutely absurd when he says it out loud.

Absurd, dangerous, stupid…

But does he regret it?

The scenery changes and it’s a while before Joost realizes they aren’t in Helsinki proper anymore. His abysmal grasp of the Finnish language isn’t helping as they pass sign after sign, the only one slightly recognizable is a larger sign displaying the name ‘Vantaa’.

Käärijä must have caught his puzzled look, as the man is beaming with pride when Joost turns to face him again.

“My city, my rules.”

Joost manages a shy smile of his own.

“I’ve always wanted to see Finland…didn’t think it would be like this of course.”

The gangster chuckles, Joost is caught off guard by the casual openness of it all.

“No worries, you gonna have a good time, a lot of fun things around here!”

“Have a good time fearing for my life you mean?” He means it in a joking way, but the concern on Käärijä’s face is evident.

“Hey, I promise you I keep you safe okay? I don’t break promises, and if I do? You can steal my money, I give you 10 seconds head start.” He winks and Joost can’t help but smile at the man, for someone supposedly so dangerous, he jokes around a lot.

A little while later the vehicle descends deeper into the city, the sky had quickly fallen dark and the twinkling lights of the streets and buildings illuminate the snowy walkways. The people are scarce on the streets, the occasional gaggle of pub-goers making their way around town seem unaffected by the cold and icy night.

“Here,” Käärijä says, tapping the glass of the window and gesturing outside. “This my place.”

Joost looks out the window at an imposing high rise building, towering twelve stories at least above the snow covered streets; It’s bright blue lighting casts a cold glow over the block, it’s massive, illuminated and worst of all, highly visible.

This…this is the hideout?!

The Finnish gangster grins and before Joost has a moment to process his now increasingly troubling situation, he’s being ushered out of the back of the car and into the frigid wintery night, up the short flight of stairs to the entrance where another bald gentleman in a black suit is waiting to open the door and welcome them inside.

His eyes adjust to the bright lights of the…lobby? The floors are a white marble and the walls equally as stark. Aside from a couple of comfortable and trendy looking leather couches, the ground floor is empty of any decorative features. At the back of the large room is a double set of silver elevator doors and sat in front of them is a concierge-type of desk. Its matte black surface stands out against the stark white room as does the figure sitting behind the desk.

Another bald man…could they be triplets? No, on further inspection Joost realizes they all seem to resemble each other, but not perfectly, not identically.

Brothers?

Joost startles and lets out an undignified yelp as the bald man who let them through the door grabs his shoulders and begins patting him down without a word.

“Hey! What are-“

“You really should have done this before he got in the car, Jere…”

Another presence startles him further causing the bald man to squeeze his shoulder threateningly.

“Be still.” The man growls. Joost freezes.

His attention is drawn back to a tutting noise, a taller blond man casually strolls up to the three, his hands in the pockets of his navy blue suit pants. He’s wearing a relaxed style shirt in crisp white and sports an easy grin. Around his neck is an expensive looking black camera, the man’s face looks…similar to-

“Jakko, relax. I don’t think Jere would let a spree shooter in the building, no matter how much of an air head he is.”

“Fuck off Mikke,” Käärijä snarls beside him, petulantly crossing his arms. “I know what I am doing.”

“Don’t let him fool you,” the blonde man winks at Joost and holds out his hand expectantly. “It’s lovely to meet you Mr. Klein, I’m Mikke, the boss’s older brother, welcome to the Union headquarters.”

The man grasps his hand for a firm albeit friendly greeting just as the bald man, Jakko apparently, digs out the meager belongings Joost had somewhat hidden in his suit’s inner pocket.

“H-Hey! That’s-“

He’s doesn’t have time to react before his wallet, phone and little vial of pills are passed off to Käärijä.

“We get you set up with secure phone card yes?” He says matter-of-factly, checking the edges of the device for any obvious tampering or bugging. “You smart to not turn it on yet.”

“Thanks I guess, but-“

“Mr Klein,” the blond man interrupts. “Look over here.”

Joost does, and is for the moment blinded by a flash of white light, having had his photo taken by the man’s black camera completely unexpectedly.

“Hey, wha-“

“For your fake ID, we’ll have it ready for you by tomorrow, also we can get you anything else document-wise within the next three days so please let me or any of the staff know! Good to meet you!” And without another word, the blond man is gone out the door behind him.

What the fuck is happening?!

“Come, let’s get upstairs okay? We have a lot of things to do before the night is over.” Käärijä says to him, passing his phone back but holding onto the wallet and pills.

He doesn’t have a moment to breathe or process anything as they make their way over to the elevators, a quick nod from the bald man at the front desk relays some unspoken information to the mafia boss and the sound of the elevator dinging echos in the empty lobby.

Loading into the elevator, Joost takes in the panel of floor numbers . Thirteen floors in total, one labeled as a basement beneath the building, the top floor button has a number pad next to it, off limits to anyone without the code.

“Fifty Euros? That’s all you have?” Käärijä asks in a shocked tone, he’s digging through Joost’ wallet now. “You say you have money for rent? This not enough!”

Joost moves to yank the wallet out of the Fins hand but one look from Jakko behind his dark shades and his hand lowers. He still resolves to clear his throat and holds out his palm in a gesture of polite request.

“May I please have my wallet back? There isn’t anything dangerous in there I promise, I shredded my ID and bank cards. I was planning on fencing some information for additional funds.”

Käärijä cocks a disbelieving eyebrow at that as he pulls out the only other thing in Joost’s wallet, an old folded up Polaroid.

“Wait! Please don’t-“ he begs, the gangster takes one look at Joost’s face and his desperate tone must have struck something, because the man is carefully tucking the photo back in and returning his wallet and phone.

“Sorry, Mikke was right I should have checked sooner.” His tone is apologetic and Joost sighs, pocketing his phone and wallet again.

“It’s…it’s fine, really. I understand you can’t be too careful in this business. And I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” He offers a shy smile, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. Käärijä pats him on the shoulder and the elevator dings to announce their arrival to the eleventh floor, the silver double doors parting to reveal new space.

The space is huge, penthouse sized with clean looking floors and expensive, elegant furnishings. The lighting is studio style with the sliders able to accommodate whatever level of visibility is needed, for now it’s a soft glow that doesn’t strain the eyes. The windows are large and have a breathtaking view of the cityscape below, there is a full sized kitchen, an alcove off to side where the bedroom and bathroom must reside, a comfortable looking leather couch, a desk, dinner table and chairs, a frankly ridiculously large flatscreen tv…

It’s…very nice.

“Here it is!” Käärijä claps his gloved hands together and practically drags Joost into the space, his excitement evident. “We getting you a new laptop and there is plenty of food if you are hungry, oh! Here is the bedroom, you have a great view of the river, we get your phone working tomorrow don’t worry-“

Joost can’t help but sputter in amusement a little at the man’s energetic enthusiasm, for a moment he forgets he’s being hunted by the most dangerous gangsters in all of Western Europe and instead lets himself be whisked away by the gangster. He forgets he’s in the company of the man upheaving one hundred years of underworld tradition, he forgets, as he looks out the window of his new bedroom at the glittering lights of the city below, dots of yellow and gold reflecting off the snowy cityscape. He nearly gasps at the beauty in the night.

“You want to hang onto these?” Käärijä asks from behind him, Joost turns and sees the man holding his little bottle of pills, a soft yet sad look on his face.

“Oh, I…I guess I should.” Joost stammers, staring down at the two little pills. He nearly forgot he had these. His just-in-case. Last resort.

“You know,” Käärijä says quietly, taking a second to choose his words wisely. “I hope you can be comfortable here. I am sorry this all happening.”

“But my place is right above, you can use call button by elevator if you need anything, okay?”

Joost feels almost guilty in this moment, it’s obvious Käärijä knows what is in the bottle but he won’t say it aloud. The man has risked his life for him, taken him in and is using all his collected resources to protect him. And here Joost is taking back the bottle.

Like he would thank the man with the gift of his corpse.

“Um,” Joost begins, taking it all in. “I really do want to thank you. I don’t have…many friends out there, at least not many who would go out of their way to help me like this…”

You don’t have any friends anymore, you robbed them blind and put a target on your head.

“So if there is anything I can do to repay you, please let me know. I don’t want to just take something without returning in kind.”

Käärijä looks into his eyes and a smile blossoms on his face though the sadness in his eyes stays. He squeezes Joost’s hand, the bottle of pills a barrier between them but the warmth in there radiating through the leather glove he wears. Joost can’t help but blush a little.

“The only thing you need to do is relax now, we gonna take care of this okay? Tomorrow I give you actual tour of the place, we get your phone secure and get you ID card.” He gives Joost’s hand one last squeeze and then he’s heading towards the door, Jakko standing vigilantly by the elevator waiting for him.

Joost watches him go, the bottle still clenched in his hand. The glass is warm as is his palm.

The man gives one last wave goodbye before the elevator doors close and it begins to descend, leaving Joost in the quiet of his new residence.

He takes a minute to let it all sink in. In twenty-four hours, his life has completely shattered and was simultaneously reconstructed in an instant. From the moment he ended the phone call with Tommy, his heart hasn’t stopped pounding and the eventual adrenaline drain finally begins to make his body tremble.

He needs to sit down.

He all but collapses on the bed, his bed, with the dark blue duvet cover and soft looking white pillows and stared at the ceiling, feeling the manic fight-or-flight instinct dissolving in his blood.

Minutes passed, maybe hours. Joost’s mind calms and he takes in his surroundings properly. There is a bedside table with a small reading lamp, next to it is an ashtray with a pack of unopened cigarettes and a lighter.

It’s his usual brand.

He should probably be more concerned about that, how could Käärijä know that? If Tommy is their only mutual contact, a man he has only ever communicated with long distance, who did Käärijä have in place to know this information?

He’s too tired to care as he reaches over and opens the pack, shrugging off his suit jacket and carelessly tossing it on the floor. Lighting up a cigarette, he stares at the bandage on his hand, the non-functioning phone on the bed, the little bottle of pills…

The photo is old and creased, the edges of the Polaroid turning yellow with age. There is a skinny boy with a head of bright blond hair and a huge smile on his face, his front left tooth missing, his second baby tooth to go that year. His glasses are busted on one side, held together with tape and willpower alone. He sports a striped polo shirt that has grass stains all over it, a result of his recent roughhousing in the field behind his home. Behind him is a man giving holding up two fingers behind the boy’s head, a mocking bunny ears gesture and a jovial expression on his face. He shares the same jawline as the kid, same smile and same joy.

Joost exhales a plume of smoke and looks out into the darkness of the night, the sea of lights below seemed miles away.

What have I gotten myself into now?

<><><>

Hey! I am now posting this story on ao3! Come check it out and leave a comment if you like!

[khihi]

What other money making ideas do you have as the new Käärijä manager?

lmaoo omg thank you i cant believe i'm the real official actual manager now, ok so money making ideas! we've already covered:

- pole dancing (letting fans tuck tips directly into is undies), and

- making millionaires pay to be roasted on stage by him (shit i think millionaires would be into and honestly i wouldnt blame them for that one)

so how else can we make our boy some cash?

- maybe make official "pokemon" cards with all of his boyfriends as pokemon (the blowup doll would be one of the rare cards i think) (to reduce production costs these are all just photocopied doodles jere will make)

- brand deal with snus manufacturers (or just demand payment for all the free advertising he's been doing)

- that post of him getting a glögi tattoo to be a walking advertisement whenever he's in paidaton riehuja mode? yeah that.

- a little more unironically i think it would be cool if it were at all possible (i know it isnt but i just think it would be cool) for people who've already paid for a eurotour ticket to have the choice to opt into paying, like, anywhere between €5 to €20 euros extra, which might also give a better gauge on how much people would be willing to pay to see him on tour in the future

- onlyfans but literally just for normal pictures of him overlayed with "inspirational quotes" in rally inglis

anyone else got any ideas? this is a board meeting now

[mitamicah]

Now I finally seem to be able to do things let me present to you the results of the 'vibe' polls :3

Earlier this week I jumped on the hype train for polls about which bandmember of JO + what character in the käärijä universe you felt I shared a vibe with.

Now I could have shared the results earlier but one thing to know about me is that I often get stupid ideas so I decided that whoever you chose that I shared a vibe with I'd cosplay

So after having searched my closet for things that somehow worked without further ado here's the Joker Out member you guys voted I shared vibe with:

I got

Jure aka the cat 😸

I mean it was not even close x'D

This surprised me since I hadn't expected to be paired with the cat boy xD But thinking about it I can see why you guys would chose him - we share a sort of bubbly excitment for things and - at least online - I can come off as very energetic and silly x'D Also I am known to randomly meow at people x'D

However, personally I feel like Jure is way more extroverted than I am and so I am glad to see Nace being the second highest :'D I feel like we do indeed share a sense of calm/silent presence while still being able to join in on the fun - I think where I might divert from Nace is that I am definitely not good at being the mom friend :'D x'D

For Bojan in third I think we're back to the 'I see why you'd say that because I am quite energetic and excited online but also he is way more extroverted than I believe I am' argument :'D yet like I'll elaborate on below with the comments for the tags I can definitely see the points for why Bojan could fit :3

Jan and Kris being so far behind is ooooph x'D Well, I can kind of understand tho especially Kris :'D I am not sure I'd call myself a Kris either - he is way too cool and sassy compared to me x'D Jan might be too laid back idk?

Now, tag time :3

@sve-sto-znam Micek - I love it x'D (First nickname unlocked x'D hahahah)

@c28hunter + @anxious-witch awwwn you are both too nice :'3 Especially you, Eryka calling me a comfort blog 😭

@merlilica whelp x'D I see you definitely picked up on my excited puppy and/or orange cat vibes x'D I don't blame you :'D

@j-restlessgeek this one hits close to home :'3 because yes I am quite hard on myself and have always been :'D Also I can be a bit of a jack of all trades (master of none) sometimes x'D the last point is honestly very true - I am way too much of a rulefollower to cheat x'D

Now onto the Käärijä universe results

You guys chose ...

Häärijä

Actually, that didn't surprise me much x'D I would probably too have chosen the little yellow man given that all his little quirks reads as very autistic to me which to a dorky autistic person like me is very fitting x'D He seems a bit confused but a good guy and sport and I would like to think myself the same :'D Also we both have a dumptruck of an ass x'D

Käärijä and Jaakko sharing second surprised me tho - especially Jaakko but that might be because I am not sure what his personality is tbh x'D so I am curious to hear if either of you voting Jaakko could tell me what makes me a Jaakko :'D? Käärijä I can sort of understand since I have probably stolen way too much/let me inspire of his aesthetic recently x'D yet I also see it as a sort of compliment because I have indeed felt more confident (both in my body and in my weirdness) lately :'D <3

Third is a big tie but that is to be expected I guess when there's not many votes (which is fair it is a harder poll to answer :'D) so Jesse, Bojan and Tommy takes that spot :3

Time for comments on tags :D

@bisonaari see now it is here I'd love to hear from you (if you want to and/or have time mind you) Bison what exactly it means to be Jaakko coded since I am not sure myself :'D

@j-restlessgeek fair x'D

@anxious-witch This is so interesting since you pretty much just guessed my major x'D Sociology was my favourite topic the year I studied Journalism and after that I moved to study Psychology which is sort of the same thing so kudos to you to read me this well x'D I find it intersting as well that you mentioned me being right in other polls because personally I felt so lost in many of the polls x'D For that reason I tried only tagging on polls I was a bit more sure about and even then it was a lot of following the gut feeling x'D but really I don't mind I see it as a compliment being compared to Bojan :3 xD

And that was this - that was this very long and probably overly detailed rundown of the results x'D Thank you for everybody participating :3

[gatalentan]

had a nap. am not hungover despite the tequila. final eurovision thoughts roundup in order before i shift back into abbott mode:

juries need to be reworked. its been known for many years at this stage and we can no longer pretend 5 people is a representative sample worth the same weight as the thousands per country who vote. if you tried to use 5 people as a representative sample in any other scenario you'd get laughed out of the room. they aren't eurovision experts, they're not like the panel at a gymnastics competition or something, they're just complete music industry randoms. when the two boards are this disprate it is stark evidence that the juries do not represent the music taste of the country and are given too much weight compared to the thousands of votes. it's like we watched two completely different shows. they're out of touch, corruptable, and value "art value" (ballads) over what the viewing public actually values (being entertained on the entertainment show). it does not prevent bloc/diaspora voting because the juries do that just as much if not more, as we saw last year with the jury corruption scandal. it's just last year they got caught. this may be the straw that broke the camels back with the juries and i hope it is.

käärijä would not have won with the old combined system because despite getting more 12s in the public than loreen, he received so many low jury scores whereas loreen conversely received many 10s from the public. he would have won if we only had the public vote, and with a historic 2nd highest score ever tied with Sobral. it's unmistakably the juries that are the issue.

i'm happy loreen won, that's my girl, but i would have been just as happy for käärijä to win, too. i would have prefered käärijä to have won than this outcome, however, because her win is now tainted forever and will not be seen as legitimate by such a large swathe of eurofans. the amount of vitriol i'm seeing towards her, as if she manufactured this outcome, is making me so angry. as if she's the first winner to ever return, as if there isn't decades of precedent for it. her returning isn't new or special, and she was chosen by the voting public of her country in one of the most rigorous pre-esc contests, melodifestivalen. she wasn't chosen by internal selection for gimmick reasons, like the uk sending a tiktok celebrity to chase clout. so the way the historic first ever double win for a queer woman of colour has been fucked up in such a way due to a broken system is just. not the tea. i really hope she has a good support system around her in the next few weeks because she's going to end up wrongly having to shoulder so much of the blame.

show thoughts:

overall line-up fantastic, so strong I couldn't predict the bottom. a very deserved no-nil year. the fact this line-up was down to public voting rather than jury interference does not escape my notice, either.

flag parade was a really fun time and loved seeing the old guard. a shame ruslana couldnt be there but loved seeing her in the interval vt. loved seeing tina karol also, underrated by everyone except us diehard fags lol.

show was way too uk centric. despite kalush performing the intro video was all about us and our shit celebrities. sam ryder should not have gotten a solo performance and the interval should not have been about liverpudlian acts. even julia's participation was diminished from what we saw in the semis - they should have had her in the green room instead of alesha or hannah if they were going to bring in graham as a 4th. the uk did not win in 2022 and that wasn't highlighted. it was very disrespectful to ukraine's win.

the interval was a poor attempt to piggyback off of Switch Song which i dont think will ever be topped, tbqh. I am, however, so happy Dadi Freyr finally got to perform at a final after two runs that were out of his hands. It was very funny having him perform Atomic Kitten, of all things, however, lmao.

hannah was a phenomenal host in general, one of the best there's been in modern day. similar to nikkie tutorials being a great host, there's a skill to seeming relaxed and open to improvisation that most hosts do not have. comparing her to alesha dixon was night and day. it was comfortable to watch hannah because she was just inviting the audience to have fun with her. graham has this same skill because he does it on his show. other countries should take note of this and choose hosts that aren't just people who can read an autocue but instead people who are light on their feet.

hannah and graham were a fantastic duo in the jury votes, it was the first time in memory where i've enjoyed watching the hosts kiki during it instead of me going wandering around getting drinks or eating. except for hatari they didn't seem stressed about time constraints or miffed about spokespeople going over the way most hosts are and it made for a much more comfortable experience because they were just vibing. it was nice. it was like having friends in the room pulling faces.

the jury rep who said "this was an exciting night for the girls and the gays" absolutely fucking sent me to pluto.

overall i enjoyed the show, one of the most enjoyable there's been, but yeesh. the way this esc may end up being a turning point year is so fucking unfortunate.

[fluffi-vision]

Now that I can finally post (thx tumblr), I wanna rant about how much I hated this Grand Final so sorry lads

I legit don't blame Loreen for everything that happened because Loreen is just another contestant, even if she won before, she can't control the votes and whatever hell on earth happened during Jury Voting.

Who I will blame is on EBU and the Jury Voting, former for promoting the ABBA 50th anniversary which likely encouraged more people to vote for Sweden (seriously, it can't just be a "coincidence" for that one), and latter for piling 12 points after 12 points because c'mon, a previous winner? With a basic english ballad? AND ABBA's anniversary since they won Eurovision is next year? Man, I wonder who are they gonna vote for.

I sincerely believe this shit got rigged as fuck just so Sweden could host Eurovision for ABBA's 50th anniversary because you cannot fucking tell me a WHOLE CROWD chanting "CHA CHA CHA" and "KÄÄRIJÄ" when Sweden started getting too many 12 points, when she won, AND during the Winner's act... wanted Sweden to win. Fuck no, the crowd has spoken and kept speaking - they wanted Finland to win and pronto.

So, do I blame Loreen for all of this? No, it was out of her control, it's not her fault she got practically dragged to the finals because previous winner+ABBA's anniversary heavily influenced the voting. The ones we should be angry at and bring all the pitchforks is EBU and Jury.

In the end, Käärijä is going to be the new Verka - he will be remembered, loved, praised, and his acts gave us so many new content to make memes off that he has ascended from a mere contestant to an absolute legend. Many years from now, there's going to be people asking "Who's that green funny man?"

"Oh, that's Käärijä"

"Did he won?"

"No, he came in second"

"Aw, then who won?"

"Good question, I don't know."

[hirunoka]

Thank you @wednesdayday , @kaarijascha, @kaarija-is-best and @eurobison for tagging me in that 5 songs thing 💚 (I made it 6 though)

I haven't heard of Noen å hate, Besame mucho , The Narcissist  and A Hunger in Your Haunt before, gonna check them out later 👌🏻

***

...the urge of picking only Käärijä and Joker Out songs is so strong, but I'll resist because I think you all know that I've been listening to them like crazy anyway. All of their songs 😂 So, I'll share these instead, in no particular order:

***

... and the song below is the song I couldn't help but sing after seeing one particular super 🔥🔥 picture of Jere yesterday. Yeah it was this one (x)

The translation can be found on (x) and it's like:

"Say 'puff' and blow out 'cause I'm on fire

Melting and burning up like a candle

This soul is madly in love with you

And my body is getting hot for you

God damn, baby! Your elegance, your body... so magnificent

You can see that God took his sweet time creating you

You are burning down the universe with your body and aura"

(... I cannot believe Jere got all of us HORNY ON MAIN. This is soooo not me, but no one can blame us. He is to blame.)

***

And this one is the special song that got me into Finnish songs in, hmm, 2011 I guess. Thanks to that video:

All of her songs are amazing by the way. (The same goes for dear Ozbi and Can Bonomo as well)

I tag @eames-with-a-rose  because her song recommendations are important to me, and I tag everyone, and I mean everyone, who sees this and willing to share some of the songs they've been listening to lately. Please feel free to share more than 5 songs and talk about why you love them etc. I love discovering new songs, so you would be doing me a favour really 💜💙 Thank you already. No pressure though.

[darkerthanblack-666]

hi, i'm the same anon. you've put words to my thoughts! if he sees that people from other countries really want to see him, there'll be a bigger chance that he eventually comes there too. obviously there's a difference between "I hope you can come to [whatever country] soon!" and "I'll k*ll you if you don't come here right nowwwwww!" but I haven seen any comments like the latter, so... i don't know what people are talking about, honestly. this seemed like a nice fandom to be a part of :(

It stopped being nice when people started coming to each other's inboxes and the tag about tabloid rumors, which happened a while ago. I was just trying my best not to comment on it, because it would bring more attention to that tabloid bs and some things should remain in the trash can where they belong.

We also had that anon saying stupid things, but it was just a troll, so it didn't bother me that much 😅

I can't even count how many times people said prejudiced things about rpf despite it being tumblr where it isn't posted right into celebrity's face and everyone here just minds their own business. Even Käärijä himself purposefully plays into it with all his "boyfriends" and Bojan said he doesn't mind it. I kept reading it again and again (it was worse during the whole post-esc hype, now I either managed to block it out or everyone has calmed down), and at some point I just didn't feel like writing anymore or enjoying anything. It made me apathetic, because I don't know who follows me here. So many new people... and even if my pinned posts says what kind of stuff they might see, I know not everyone reads everything, so I became anxious (I'm sure most of you are nice people, but it will take time to feel more comfortable, I have a social phobia, so such unsafe situations affect how I'm feeling 😫)

Now there's this current drama and I'm just tired of it and feeling snappy, because when you post something in the tag for everyone to see, especially when you're vague as fuck about your source, every single person will start wondering who is that, or blame themselves and starts feeling anxious, or assume the fandom is bullying their blorbo, while in fact it's some prick somewhere in the butthole of the internet, where if I haven't seen it, the celebrity hasn't seen it either (because they're too busy with their job to read dramas on the internet)

I usually see that kind of behavior on twitter and it's exactly how their dramas happen. Instead of having a discussion directly with the person, someone plays the coward card and vagues about it in their own tweets, then others join to blow the whole thing out of proportion. It's exactly what made me leave it for good.

Bringing a drama from one social media to another is a different kind of evil (I assume that's what happened, because I haven't seen anyone attacking Käärijä on tumblr, it's not even possible when he has no account here), it always comes out of nowhere and no one knows what's going on, and they start pointing fingers at each other. The only good reasons to do that publicly is when it's funny or interesting (like that 9/11 fic drama which was hilarious af 😂), otherwise why would you even do that 🤷‍♀️. If the tumblr part of the fandom is peaceful, why do you even shit into your own nest...

Also, I'm sure Jere wouldn't like to see people attacking other fans just because he addressed the situation in his story. He was trying to be polite and supportive and people assumed it's a permission to be shitty to others. The hostile comments are actually the problem. He handled the situation well, there's no need for "poor bby being under attack, I'll protect you uwu" attitude (actually there's never the need for it, because celebrities have professionally trained staff handling the damage control if the situation gets really ugly, but then everyone would know about it, not wonder "wtf who's doing that?"). He's currently not under any attack and he's fine. This is classic toxic fandom reaction with one group of fans getting overly possessive over their blorbo and fighting others for irrelevant, or sometimes even made up reasons. I've seen it happen before.

This reply is not an invitation to have a discourse, or to attack someone else btw (I prefer when everyone is nice to each other). It's just me ranting and you might agree or not, I don't care.

[crazy-minded-girl]

I was so busy listening to ruoska on repeat I forgot Katelyn Terver released her new album... She had announced it way before Käärijä did. In other words brainrot is brainrotting 😅 Can you blame me though? The song slaps👏hard👏

[hunters-angel]

I think a lot of it is that the average age on tiktok is lower than here. I can imagine that a bunch of kids would see sexual(-ish) content and think it's wrong just for being sexual (again, - ish). And i think it won't really get better until they learn where the line between slightly sexual content and objectification lies. Also until they just grow up, because i've also seen the argument that it's wrong to make those types of edits since they are over 20 and it's weird to look at adult men in a sexual way (which also completely disregards the fact that some of us are actually similar age or older than the guys, and we won't stop being fans even if they pretend we're not here). Add to it the fact that kids now are for some reason more conservative regarding sex and you have a toxic fandom that mostly infighting and blaming each other for stupid shit.

Also i absolutely adore the fact that on tiktok you get shamed for appreciating bojan's thighs, even if they are clothed, but on here you can write that you want to lick käärijä's armpit and within an hour *multiple* people will agree with you.

I’m so done w the JO tiktok fandom…. now they’ve decided that somehow the negativity online bojan is talking about is thirsty edits when he NEVER mentions anything like that. There’s a weird part of the fandom that thinks the boys need to be protected from being sexualized even though the image that they actively portray IS sexual. They make SHAGADELIC rock. It’s sexy.

Then they start preaching that as the truth and shaming and guilt-tripping other fans.

[mitamicah]

has anyone in public ever mistaken you for käärijä?

hi anon - sorry for being late :'D if it makes it better then I can say this message has really made me smile a lot and warmed my little heart much these past few days

I have to sadly announce that nobody in real life/public has mistaken me for käärijä (yet) :'D I guess the blame must be the bright hair and the fact that very few Danes in the mainstream sphere knows who käärijä is :'3

But a few on tumblr has called me a käärijä from another world (a sort of AU käärijä) so I take that as a huge compliment :3 <3

[darkerthanblack-666]

For the blind channel asks: 1, 5 and 11?

1. Who is your favourite Blind Channel member and why?

Joel, of course. I can see myself in him all the time.

First of all, thanks to him I noticed I have ADHD. This year I got psychological diagnosis that indeed I do fit most of the criteria and gave the psychologists so much material to work with that he had to choose what to write in it 😅. Before I didn't know what was wrong with me, I kept blaming myself for so many things... and now I have more inner peace, because I changed my attitude towards many things I do. Still, some of my traits make it hard to progress in life or make friends and it sucks 😐. But less than before, I'd say.

What I have in common with him? First of all, I'm dramatic just like he is and I have an internal crisis 3 times per day 😂. I whine and have a short fuse, then delete whatever I ranted about, but it might not leave my mind alone for a while. Also I need my validation, I'm online a lot, and I crave this attention... I sometimes have a fragile ego, too 😅. I tend to get sad very often and it only gets better when I have something exciting to do. I simply suck with daily life, it's so boring lol

Also I'm not a family person and don't want to have children just like him, so he's a safe person, I know he will never post that content online. If any of the band members ever has a kid and keeps posting it, I might need to unfollow tbh 💀. Unless it's something that isn't annoying (like kids and their middle fingers in Käärijä's Trafik video, it was just funny), but I usually don't care enough about children.

That was long, but I just have many reasons to find safety in Joel's online persona. I hope he won't change, he could just drop bragging about things he doesn't have (those expensive car posts were a "nope" from me), otherwise he's all good!

5. What’s your favourite Blind Channel album?

I'm bad with rating whole albums, each one of them has some good songs on it!

11. Which songs do you think are underrated? What about overrated?

Underrated: I.D.F.U

Overrated: Lanterns, Another Sun