#but yet he compels me soooo much

[depvotee]

I having too many thoughts abt Jacob that i need to bite something

[holy-reference-in-a-username]

if you have paid any attention to my ramblings on my process, you know that i tend to rethink my comics and toss out a lot of work if im not satisfied with how it turned out. so i thought id share some previews of comics that have gone unseen, and why they havent been posted (yet?) in order of how likely i am to finish and/or post them :)

(under cut bc long post)

Be nice to each other: Main 4. Tomtord/Polyworld, angst. 4 pages. Matt confronts Tom and Tord on how have been acting, accidentally compelling them into saying how they really feel.

Status: abandoned.

I drew this one quite a while ago and i still really like the dialogue and character interactions i wrote for it! vampire hypnosis is a super cool concept and im definitely going to use it in the future, but this ultimately didnt pan out how i wanted it to.

Why it's not posted: while the buildup and climax are really good, this would be a huge mess to clean up. this would require some serious work both between the four of them and on my part for writing and drawing all of that!! plus, it would totally change the relationship dynamic between Tom and Tord, possibly ending it altogether (and i still have so much i want to do with them!!!)

Ed and Edd: Eduardo, Edd, Eduardo's mother. No pairings, angst. 3 pages. Eduardo can't wait to introduce himself at school, but he's got competition for the name he chose.

Status: abandoned.

Trans Eduardo is such a good concept. imagine figuring out who you are only to find out someone else already is that. of course you're going to hate them.

Why it's not posted: two main reasons. one is that i couldn't figure out how to end the comic (a recurring theme lol), but another is that i'm still not super confident with writing Eduardo yet. ...or writing children. so kid Eduardo is a challenge.

Can't tell where you're looking: Tommatt, fluff. 3 pages. Tom isn't as sneaky as he thinks he is.

Status: on my list!

Tommatt fans, i have heard your pleas i have received your asks. it's on my list.

Why it's not posted: i had a great idea, drew several pages, thought about it, and decided it sucked, actually. it can be reworked, but my motivation did not get out unscathed.

Bad (?) Dream: Tomtord, uh.... yeah thats just smut huh. 2 pages. A bad dream for one and a good dream for the other.

Status: ???

I'm not saying SHIT.

Why it's not posted: originally, it was because i didn't want to post suggestive stuff on this blog. now, it's because i found better ways to cover the concepts in this comic. Y'all will simply have to wait and see ;)

Matt figures it out: Matt, Tom. could be Tommatt. hurt/comfort. a collection of random sketches. Matt figures out how to turn into a bat! It sucks!

Status: on my list!

I've been wanting to talk about this SOOOO BAD!!! because why would you transform in a second via a poof of smoke when it could be an hour-long painful disturbing process?! honestly could be described as hurt/comfort/hurt.

Why it isn't posted: well for one it barely counts as a comic, just random sketches and a general idea. to be fair thats how most of my comics start, but... you know. i havent worked on it in a while mainly because the characters need to solve some personal problems first.

Not tonight: Tordmatt. fluff/suggestive. 2 pages. Matt's got pointy ears again, and Tord knows what that means!

Status: on my list!

TORDMATT FANS I HAVE ALSO HEARD YOUR PLEAS! Also, yippee i get to infodump about my headcanons via a comic

Why it's not posted: unfinished, and i hit a bit of a road block. usually its in writing, but this time its in the art half! so i have no idea how to get around it yet!!!

Puberty sucks fr. imagine losing an eye: Tom, Tom's mother. no pairings. angst. 3 pages. When did Tom's eyes change?

Status: on my list!

You all remember the soul-crushing existential grief that started at the same time as puberty, right? No, just me? Huh.

Why it isn't posted: layout isn't quite what im looking for :/ also, a half-naked child on tumblr, even in a completely non-sexual context, is something i am slightly apprehensive about!

Something's wrong: Main 4. Polyworld, angst/suggestive. 20+ pages. Tom doesn't feel well. Edd, Matt, and Tord try to help.

Status: actively working on it

Oh, you guys remember that poll? Haha thats funny. Yeah i'm still working on this one.

Why it isn't posted: uh its not done yet. and also i am unsure of whether or not it will be allowed on tumblr. or whether or not i want people to speculate on my entire deal.

...and while i'm here:

Communication comic part 6: IN PROGRESS!! these idiots need to establish boundaries. all of them. i believe <3

Zombie Tord part 4: ON MY LIST! i want to get through the communication comic first :3

thank u for reading all my ramblings :D! i am so fucking excited to continue working on all of my dumb shit and i am so happy that ppl like said dumb shit

[angelinthefire]

There is a “would Dean kill Cas to save Sam” poll going round I think you’d find interesting and which compelled me to unleash thoughts at you. I often wonder why fandom (both hellers and bronlies) ignores the fascinating examples in canon where Dean’s “Sam before anything else” ideology is threatened by Castiel. the BEST example of this is when Cas premeditatedly and with full agency breaks Sam’s wall as collateral damage — and Dean forgives him in the blink of an eye! If that were anyone else who’d done that to Sam they would be a dead man. Yes Dean was mad about it, yet the next season (BEFORE Cas redeems himself by taking on Sam’s hell trauma) Dean literally tells Cas “you were doing the best you could” (girl…).

Other key examples: Dean staying in Purgatory for an additional year to find Cas (rather than prioritising going back to find Sam, and this is after Cas broke Sam’s brain mind you); deciding to basically kill himself in s13 after Cas has died (despite Sam being alive and well); telling Chuck he’s wiling to kill Sam if it’ll bring Cas back. If the Bronly tenet that all Dean needs to be happy is Sam then hell, why does Dean beg Sam to let him die in the series finale.

I will note that Dean kicking Cas out of the bunker in s9 is thrown around constantly but there was literally a gun to Sam’s head at that point. Dean was tormented about it and still snuck off to see Cas although it may have been unwise in that situation.

Also interesting to note that Sam isn’t the only one; Castiel has also served as a threat to Dean’s other representations of family. in s6 Cas ~betrays Dean by colluding with Crowley, who kidnaps Lisa and Ben, which eventually leads to Dean deciding to memory wipe Lisa. In s14 Dean literally *blames Cas in part for Mary’s death*! And yet still forgives him?? (As s13 showed, Dean can live better without Mary than he can without Cas.) This is really intriguing/toxic element of Destiel that is hardly explored in fandom, which is that Dean associates Cas with danger to the rest of his family/his role as protector of his family and therefore his relationship with him is a weakness that he will regret. Add to the fact that Cas has proven time and again to not be a safe/reliable object of affection (see above examples, and also repeatedly leaving/dying) and it’s very plain why Dean would have reason to fear/suppress/compartmentalise romantic feelings between them — because they would be an even greater source of pain.

Curious to get your thoughts on this!!

Thank you for the message!

Regarding the first point: I think there's a fairly typical thing going on of fan simplifying characters and their motivations. Does Dean love and care about Sam? Yes. Was Dean's duty to Sam something that was drilled into him as something that he had no choice over? And something that was reinforced through their forced isolation from the rest of society? Also yes. So what happens when Dean has someone that he has grown to love on his own terms? And who he never has to worry about alienating, someone who could actually be part of his life? Something very interesting!

I looooove the s6/7 example so much, because Dean really isn't ever angry at Cas for hurting Sam, he's angry at Cas for not listening to him. And even then, not really - his anger at Cas in 7x01 is much more something that Dean is using as a sheild, something to cover his own hurt, than anything else. And then the second it looks like Cas is going to turn around and come back to him, all that anger evaporates.

s8 was soooo vindicating as well when it aired, because all summer the bronlies were like, "Dean's motivation in Purgatory will be that he's trying to get back to Sam!" And then it WASN'T. This is another thing too, that bronlies will try to make it out like Sam is the only one that Dean will go to extreme lengths for, that Dean isn't a *generally* nurturing type of person who *wants* a bigger family and to not be so socially isolated. But throughout the entire show, Dean is constantly drawing people around himself. And we do see how Dean is willing to go to great lengths for Cas. Of course, a lot of the time, Dean is convinced that he's powerless to do anything when it comes to saving Cas, but Purgatory was one time when he wasn't, and we see what happens.

(And the thing is I do get where the bronlies are coming from in their understanding of the show, in an abstract sense. Like objectively, if someone were to tell me that there's a story about two brothers, that only have eachother against the world, and they have a super-intense relationship, and all they care about is each other and fighting monsters, and there's a dark, gothic vibe to it, I could see why someone would be into that. Like it's not my jam, but abstractly, I see it. But the thing is, that reading of the show does not hold up to contact with canon - and none of them want to admit that.)

The series finale is so weird when you think about it. Because bronlies hold it up as a win. But it is Dean taken down to a place where all he has is Sam and hunting, and then deciding that he has nothing to live for.

s9 was just a mess. Kicking Cas out of the bunker was so contrived. And then what everyone forgets is how incredibly happy and jazzed Dean was when he thought Cas was going to be living with them. The thing I'm most bitter about is that they couldn't have given us at least one episode of Dean and Cas being absolutely goofy happy around each other before constructing a situation to get Cas out of the picture.

Your last paragraph is interesting, and something to think about. The way I see it, is that Cas has entered a special tier of relationships with Dean, where Dean will hold on to him no matter what. I don't think Lisa and Ben are a good example for your point, actually, because I think Dean blames himself for what happened to them more than anyone else, which is reflected in his final interaction with them when he says he hit them with his car and is happy they can go on with their lives (or something of that nature, I forget).

Mary's death is interesting though. The only thing comparable to something like that happening before is when Dean blames Sam for Charlie's death (and what Dean says to Sam - "I think it should be you on that pyre instead of her" - is actually way more harsh than what Dean says to Cas). But Dean does forgive Sam, and he does forgive Cas - again, they're on a special tier, where Dean values them no matter what. And you see that throughout the divorce arc, where Dean keeps checking in on Cas and showing concern for him, in spite of how he feels at the moment - like he knows througout that the rift him and Cas are going through isn't going to last forever.

I think all of Dean's closest relationships are toxic, just as a result of the way he was raised and the kind of life he leads. With Sam, John, Mary, Jack, and Cas. The relationships that aren't toxic are the ones where they aren't physically around each other that much (like Charlie), or with Bobby, who has the level of experience to not get caught up in bullshit. With all of them, the death toll doesn't really matter (like Mary endangered Cas too, and Dean forgave her). Dean just tends to not let go of the people around him.

I think a big barrier for Dean and Cas is actually neither of them having any kind of reference model for what they are to one another. All of Dean's romantic relationships have been filled with secrets, and the knowledge that his partner cannot share his life with him. Dean calls Cas his "brother" in s6 and s11, because to him, that's the closest you can be to someone. That changes to "best friend", which is better, because it doesn't have the same connotation of obligation and responsibility - your best friend is someone you actually like being around. And it's a title that is uniquely Castiel's.

And in general he has trouble categorizing Castiel. Like he keeps trying to put Cas in human boxes that he doesn't actually fit within. He repeatedly indicates that he thinks of Cas as just a guy, and then Cas acts in ways that defy that category.

So yeah, I guess I don't really think that Dean sees Cas as unsafe. It's more that Dean just isn't thinking of romantic relationships as a possibility for himself. And he doesn't quite know how to categorize what he and Cas are to each other (and the fact that Cas is a dude may or may not play into that, depending on how much you think Dean grapples with internalized homophobia). And they're both generally fucked up.

It's an interesting idea, though, that Dean sees Cas as a danger, that I'd be interested in seeing explored more in posts or fic.

[dreamieparadise]

OC-Tober 2024

Day 4 ♡. Under-Appreciated OC

I drew Miruku who belongs to @mimiruku I love him soooo much and I feel he is under-appreciated! He will continue to be so until the whole world bows to him!!

I find him to be so compelling. A person who can live a completely solitary life and even prefers it. And yet, because he has so much love in his heart and knows his loved ones would want him around, he stays! He is willing to be uncomfortable for them...and is that not such a great show of love? Love is so many things. Love is pushing yourself to be better. Love is being willing to sacrifice, Love is saying "you're a burden I am willing to carry." Love is Miruku.

I could go on and on and on about him...Miruku is so dear to me. 🧡

Pst...btw Momina made this dress for Miruku. ☆

Prompt List

[laurey257]

GOOD OMENS SEASON 2 FIX-IT RECS UPDATED LIST (6 weeks out!)

Hello all! I am stunned by how much you all liked my first list of Good Omens Season Two fix-it recommendations on Archive of our Own! Thanks for sharing. Now that we’re 6 weeks out instead of two, there’s lots more good stuff on there and I thought I would post this new and expanded list for you? I broke it into categories, doubled it, and found lots more wonderful stuff to read.

**This was a hard decision but I am excluding works in progress since they need time to mature—all these are complete /compliant and can be invested in without fear.**

FULL SEASON 3 WORKS

To the Universe

22 chapters and I cannot say enough good things. It’s amazing closure and feels SO good to read. Writing style in this one is very compelling and keeps you on your seat until the end.

Somewhere Only We Know

A stunning 40 chapters for anyone who wants to just burrow down in this universe and never leave it. The angel and demon go separate ways only to reunite to (yet again) save Earth one more time.

Daily Report

This is written REALLY well. 6 chapters manages to bring about a really nice arc to reconciliation post Season 2! I was impressed.

MULTI-CHAPTER FIX-IT WORKS

Wouldn't It Have Been Nice?

Crowley is called to Heaven by a dying Angel. Jesus intervenes. Will break your heart, but it has a happy ending.

I Do Love Nothing in the World So Much as You

Soooo nice. 3 chapters bringing them straight through it as Aziraphale comes back and tries to beg forgiveness. NICE arc in this one. Believable.

Oh Simple Thing, Where have you Gone

This one says 7 of ? chapters, but I included it because I like the premise and what is there feels sort of complete? An interesting fixit where the Metatron has devious plans and locks up Crowley as part of that. The Bentley has a starring role in here during several heroic rescue plans.

Something Wrong

Ooooo! A NICE twist in this one. I won't reveal it, but this fic is based on some of the most compelling theories around why Aziraphale might not have been totally consenting when Metatron takes him away.

Jesus, Etc.

Crowley runs into a frantic Aziraphale with Jesus in tow at a Barbenheimer premiere. A battle of the wills with pop songs in the Bentley, Taylor Swift, Kenergy, sushi, a nativity play and a magic show come next.

ONE SHOTS (SMUTTY)

The Second Coming

The Second Coming - Episode6killedme - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Aziraphale “awakens” in the elevator (think ox ribs but sexually) and yeets himself back to earth to roger Crowley six ways from Sunday.

A Middle Ground

Aziraphale and Crowley have been separated, but the Angel won't let go. He kidnaps Crowley to a cloudscape and pleads his case. A Bridget-Jones like WWF bickering throwdown ensures. The part featuring reactions on the part of 737 Ryanair passengers and one airline attendant had me wheezing.

Just Called to Say Fuck You I Love You

This one is just spicy as hell, y'all. Aziraphale picks up on Crowley prayers while in Heaven, and let's just say that he's doing some ACTIVE praying.

Not for all my Little Words

Not for All My Little Words - mia_ugly, soft_october - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

An adorable one where Aziraphale, realizing he screwed up, chases Crowley through loudspeakers and other people’s phones through Europe using famous love quotes until he gets his attention (and some forgiveness.) Smut ensues.

ONE SHOTS (LITTLE/NO SMUT)

Darling, Can you Ever Forgive Me?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48966298

A daydream, leading to Aziraphale doing the right thing and heading back to Earth to declare his love.

Cause you like me too much and I like you

'Cause You Like Me Too Much and I Like You - alastor_holmes - Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett [Archive of Our Own]

A sweet little one where Aziraphale quietly resigns, has a chat with Gabriel and Beez in the bookshop, and does the apology dance.

Everywhere

everywhere - vivahate - Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett [Archive of Our Own]

Azi Crowley instead from a Heavenly asassination attempt. (Maggie, nina and anathema help!)

Heaven is Not Fit to House a Love

heaven is not fit to house a love (like you and i) - Zaexx - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

A sweet little one with a *small* deviation from canon (that seemed ok because they have a good point.) Crowley had never told Aziraphale about the way the angels managed his trial OR about what he saw in the Heavenly files with Muriel. He jams his way into the elevator (telling the Metatron to get the next one) and tells him.

Magician's Choice

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49066831

Oooooo I like this one. Four ways that the ending could have gone instead, based on four magic methods of sleight of hand. So cool!

A Proper Apology

A Proper Apology - cyankelpie - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

One where the Angel simply calls over and over until they really talk. (Or imagine the idiots simply just used the phone.)

The Nightingales Were Just Sleeping In

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49041145

Cute, adorable, small...just a retelling of the final scene where they really TALK and don't just be idiots.

This is Not an Apology

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48992128

Aziraphale comes to Crowley while he tries to sleep it all off and they actually talk, for once.

Time to Turn it Right

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49162285

Azi tries to fix things. Crowley gets a cat.

We Don't Need Heaven

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49598467

They talk again, this time on the beach, and for real.

[poomphuripan]

Given that we're halfway through the series, how well do you think msi is doing ?

hi nonnie

because i'm an overthinker and msi is on my mind 24/7 so i have interpreted this question into three different ways and i'll be answer all three below.

1. how well do you think msi is doing (in terms of portraying the characters and the plot of the original novel, speaking on a personal capacity)?

this series leaves me on the edge of my seat every damn week. everything is WORKING FOR ME. i love the character designs, the adaptational changes, the pacing... my only grievance? occasionally i absolutely detest their hairstyles (whoever hairstyled sol and joe for sol's mv should get fired, real). i also dislike the fact that they usually layer ming's outfits, when i think they should just let him wear one layer of shirt for example in this behind the scene still for that confrontation scene he's just wearing a black shirt but it looks soooo goood, this picture most likely taken when they're rehearsing.

but let's go through bit by bit

character designs: i think like other novel readers, i was a bit wary of the toning down/softening of novel!yanmingxiu, but i think it worked in favor of the series as a visual medium, coupled with them also making joe seemingly more naive than novel!zhouxiang. it balances well to have a not as cruel ming with a puppy-like/happy go luck joe 1.0. i really like in a recent reaction video where up, poom and porsche were reacting to ep.7, poom says he's happy to see so many people curse ming because it meant that he's doing well playing a scum male lead and praised up for playing such a compelling "bad" character because he thinks if it weren't for a such scum ml, his character 'joe' wouldn't come off as pitiful.

adaptational changes: i understand that translating a novel to series is a huge challenge, especially since thai series does not have a tendency to insert inner thoughts as much as japanese series does or the way audiodrama can do so but my stand in is doing so well utilising the flashbacks or blocking/cinematography to showcase the emotions of these characters so i've been loving most changes so far. they're also making changes that i love to see (novel!yan ming xiu throwing a tv remote at zhou xiang when he said something that upset him, reading that i was like bruh was that necessary?!?!!?!?).

pacing: it's really good, with my only grievance being they should make the eps longer in length. contrary to the complaints i'm seeing about how they're making audience wait to long until the huge reveal, i think it's fair and i'd actually like to see ming grovel a bit more before finding out that joe 2.0 is joe 1.0 because or else it wouldn't make sense to me why he would be so invested in getting invovlved with joe 2.0 if he wasn. most eps so far have been condensed from 10 chapters, with the biggest exception being ep 7 being adapted from 16 chapters (chapter 60-75) but i like that they simplified that plot with tharn/novel!tanyin without completely eliminating it. perhaps the only thing i regret being left out is ming crying out to joe's name after having sex with joe 2.0 but since the series went with ming not having sex with joe 2.0 in ep 7 yet so we didn't get it. anyway, ready for more ming/blind master shenanigans this week.

2. how well do you think msi is doing (with chinese fans/novel fans)?

so just recently, the weibo supertopic of my stand in hit 23,000 followers and the douban score for my stand in hit 8.8 (it debuted with a 6.8 score in the first ep btw). while douban scores for bl/foreign dramas tend to bit higher than the average scores for cdramas, this is still a huge feat considering how it's being adapted from a popular danmei novel and how bad the initial reception to the casting announcement was. it is HUGE!

after last week's episode the scores really skyrocketed due to the two scenes, the hotel verbal fight scene and the back reveal. it's also a relief to see how both scenes are well received because they're very different from how they were executed in the novel, so i think this is a good sign of how novel fans have warmed up to the adaptation changes (if anyone is interested, feel free to read chap 73 for that confrontation and chap 74+75 for the back reveal).

also cfans seem to really be into up poompat's portrayal of yan ming xiu these days, most are ready to forgive him while simultaneously still want to watch him suffer for the rest of the series. everyone and their mother loves poom as joe/zhou xiang but they have been loving and praising poom since ep 1 so that's not really new.

3. how well do you think msi is doing (in terms of trending, general viewership and popularity)

i think my stand in is doing crazy well considering its genre (dogblood drama featuring a scum male lead). regarding trending, the number of tweets is increasing weekly and it's stable at 4th/5th place like every week and considering is up against TWO QL series of two popular established branded pairings (EngLot with Love Bully, GemFourth with My Love Mix Up TH) and the hottest lakorn series of the year (Dhevaprom), I think it's already achieving the best possible results in terms of trending (cfans are also wishing that my stand in would be more popular considering how dramatically dogblood and lakorn-coded MSI is ಥ_ಥ)

But I think it's more important for iQIYI that it's ranking #1 worldwide iQIYI consecutively for the last seven weeks since its their "first" Thai original (i actually thought My Dear Gangster Oppa is their first, turns out not 😅). Being up against all those beautiful costume/historical cdramas and still ranking #1??????

also i can't speak on behalf of other fans but the sole fact that the main topic on my twitter timeline every weekend is how pitiful joe is/how terrible ming is/how up and poom are DELIVERING the breakthrough performances of their careers? i think regardless of the end result of this series, it's definitely a remarkable BL series of 2024 and i'd honestly call it the dark horse among the 2024 BL releases considering how lowkey and underwhelmed the initial hype it had.

i hope some of this answers your question 😭😭😭😭 if i had misunderstood your question though, feel free to send another ask. I LOVEEEEE talking about my stand in.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 16 thoughts

(giggling and kicking my feet) it’s mulder and scully time <3

and it was a GOOD episode!!! i was sad, but damn was i compelled! back to the very beginning of the episode to begin the note-taking journey, with a tiny recap of where we left off beneath the “keep reading” bar…

hehehehe i am excited!! i love to spend the evening with the ultimate duo. and we have so much to cover!

so many twists and turns to walk down! krycek is back! skinner is hurt! scully is sleuthing! mulder is in hong kong! we had best begin!

YAAAS we got another “previously on the x files” <- i loathed these at first for throwing me off my typical groove, but now that i know we only bust them out on special occasions (multiple part episodes) i look forward to them

ugh scully is so pretty. “you say that every time” and it’s true every time??? 

we get a recap: flash bang alien, inky eyes, skinner on a hunt for answers before being interrupted, scully’s dad’s friend johansen, the rat bastard 

timeskip to 1953. a man from johansen’s squad who is covered in burns is telling his story, and it is being recorded. he is being visited by those who claim to want to bring him to justice, but he says he won’t tell. 

so after johansen started a mutiny and locked the rest of the sailors in the sub, those trapped on the lower levels knocked the dude with the inky eyes on the head with a wrench. so he is knocked tf out. and liquid started pouring from his eyes (BLEAUGH) and into a drain. the survivor who has all the burns and who is recounting this calls the liquid “the enemy”

a guy that looks a lot like matty healy (but much cleaner) is asking him what he means by calling liquid “the enemy”. so the interviewee says that the thing went back to where it came from. 

GASP!!!!!! HE ADDRESSES THE MATTY HEALY LOOKING FELLOW AS “MR. MULDER”!!!!!! oh this is JUICY!!! and the camera pans over to another man putting in a cigarette!! GASP!!! WE KNOW WHO THAT IS!!!!

baby cig man says “you can trust all of us” (<- LIES, LYING, SAID BY A GUY WHO IS LYING)

(you can tell the actor playing baby cig man had just one line but he worked SO hard to get cig man's voice right... it made me giggle)

why does young mr mulder look kinda cute. aww. so little. almost wanna squish his cheeks.

they changed the intro again. smh! messing with my rhythm.

anyway, back to main plot. scully’s rolling up to the hospital to find skinner, where she is met by agent fuller and agent caleca, two names i do not think i have heard before. scully asks for hair and fiber from the crime scene and these two are like “we don’t have that yet” so she says “um get it?” (not really but basically) (and they claim it was some random guy that shot him… not buying it)

oh! skinner is being wheeled out! she’s off to go investigate. now if it were ME being rolled about with my shirt off after a gunshot wound and emergency surgery, i would not want people seeing that. but hey, she’s a doctor so maybe she’s chill like that. still! i’d be soooo embarrassed omg

SHE GRABS HIS HAND OMG!!!!! he opens his eyes a tiny tiny bit and tells her that he has seen the man who shot him before!!!

man, i thought just the hand grabbing was gonna be all tender, and it was! but getting a clue at who did it was a bonus too

back to the rat bastard and mulder. at least krycek seems aware that mulder can and will kick his ass and is deferential to him. 

scully is looking over skinner’s chart. OH! she asked for guards. and she wants them NOW. she does not CARE about your excuses. WOO!!! she says idgaf if you two agents stand out there YOURSELVES, get GUARDS ON him!!! YAAAAS!

back to krycek and mulder cam. mulder notices that they are being followed and tells him to speed up. at gunpoint! and this mystery vehicle runs them off the road!!!!!!

noooo, their faces are all smushed in. someone pulls rat bastard out and asks where the tape is, but the fellow who attacked him gets flash banged, because again, krycek has alien flash banging powers.

but poor mulder still has his bloody heady on the dash :( he sees some odd flashing 

scully gets called into the lab and this guy has some info on the dude that shot skinner. she says it will take too much time to run the hair sequence, but to do it anyway.

(also, i can’t tell if this is the same guy from the lab as before that clearly had a crush on her or if this is a different one but idk i guess it doesn’t really matter... he doesn’t seem like her type)

so the two men that krycek flash banged last night are now in treatment for radiation, and who is visiting them but cancer man!!! he is once again lighting up as they are dying. he bends down and moves a bandage, and sees the eyes of a patient meet his. but he says to HAVE THE BODIES DESTROYED OMFG HE DOES NOT GIVE A FUUUUCK THIS GUY IS EVIL!!!!

mulder at da hospital. bandage on his head. awwwwww :( it’s so sad and pathetic... he’s baby.

AND SCULLY IS THERE!!!! WITH A SMILE!!!!!! WOOHOO I WISH I COULD LIVE IN THIS MOMENT FOREVER!!! YES YES THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS!!

the police found him and he mentioned “we” so she says “who’s we” and he has to say KRYCEK… she is (very gently) confused

an excellent person to have by your bedside whilst recovering. 

she tells him that she is sorry for the bad news, but skinner has been shot as well. but the doctors seem to think he’ll be okay. and she has an idea on who it is that pulled the trigger!

GASP!!! she pulls out the scans on the hair. two of them, in fact. the first being from the man who shot skinner, and the second being from the man who shot melissa. and they’re a PERFECT MATCH!!!! CONSPIRACY!!! CONSPIRACY, I CRY!!!

(shrill violins, fade to black)

oh! it’s the united nations alien council. um i realize now i don’t know their actual name. but you know who i’m referring to, right? the guys. the gang. the squad. just a couple of dudes.

they’re discussing the site “WHERE THEY RECOVERED THE UFO” well! there you have it! word of god confirmation! it’s indeed a ufo that the french sailors came across in the last episode!

“it seems we have an information leak, gentlemen”, one of them announces, which makes me say, okaaaay ominous <3

and they say cig man has responded in a way no one could have predicted… omg was he behind the skinner thing…?

scully visiting skinner <3 asking how he is feeling <3 he doesn’t seem surprised about the news his shooter was the same as melissa’s, especially because those three men had warned him before about pursuing her case. he says she should be careful about saying that the case was shut down because people don’t want it to be caught but. it’s looking them right in the face.

OH! the man that shot him was one of the ones who attacked him a few months back on the stairwell! well i didn’t even catch this. some detail noticer i am. AND KRYCEK was the other one!!!! yes, and they stole the tape yes yes i’m recalling!

ohhh it’s serious. he tells her that she cannot afford anger, that if she’s angry she’ll make a mistake. “i’ll be okay”, she says (voice breaking) (<- said by a woman who is lying)

he says that if she can’t keep her head, it’s okay to step away… this feels very chekov’s gun… but she says that’s exactly what they want. OH! i love that she knows she can get to the bottom of this. i love that she believes in herself.

scully is furiously typing on her laptop. asking to devote full bureau resources to finding krycek. got her glasses on n everything. terribly beautiful whilst angry. she is saying he can explain everything that is going on, but i don’t think anyone is gonna listen to herrrr because the fbi does not give a fuck!!!

scully is now entering their office to see the giant yellow scuba suit. “it looked great on me in the store” says mulder, who needs to make a joke or people will die. perhaps he needs to make a joke even more when people really ARE dying.

so, why is it here? great question. it was covered in oil, the french guy was covered in oil, his wife was covered in oil, and it’s all diesel oil from world war two submarines. a new meaning to the term “oiled up”.

theory time with mulder: it’s a medium for an alien creature for body-jumping. he laughs when she laughs, aware of how ridiculous it sounds, but also aware of her thinly veiled fury; what else could he do? he does know how it sounds, he does know what she needs, but the truth. the truth.

so what does this thing living in the oil want with krycek? a great question. 

omg guy from the lone gunmen is ice skating! and so is another one. wow a team bonding mission <3 AND THE OTHER ONE!!! FROHIKE!!! 

is this something they do often... no, this must be a sleuthing mission.

frohike goes in a locker and opens something. GIVES IT TO MULDER!!! YAAAS THE TAPE!!! they say he should “call upon their services more often” YAAAS they want that sweet sweet agent time <3 

but noooo! the tape is gone!!!! mulder gets mad and throws the empty case. still, a reunion with his pals <3

cig man is watching tv. sipping some sort of liquor.

(whenever i see someone drinking a beverage with ice in it on a tv show, i think of that one tiktok of a prop master explaining how they make prop ice and the many different kinds they can do. i think this looks like glass ice to me. shoutout to people who make videos about props; you make my heart very happy)

BRO... THE TAPE JUST APPEARS. KRYCEK HAS ENTERED????? but the guy who shot skinner is there too!!! and is holding krycek at gunpoint!!!!

cig man watches krycek's eyes go all inky (correction: OILY) and black. omg……

cancer man is rolling up 15 minutes late for the UN alien meeting. lmao it's funny in a way. he moved the ufo to a new location! he promises it will be absolutely inaccessible.

someone asks why he won’t bring it to nevada like the others. probs because even the normies know about nevada as the alien place. dweeb.

GASP! they want answers for what happened to skinner. cig man says for all he knows, it's just random. even though they have a drawing of the guy who did it, who is “one of his”, he’s denying it. AND THEY’RE ALL GROANING BECAUSE NO ONE BELIEVES HIM FOR A SECOND LMAOOOOOOO

(so funny to me that despite being on the super secret alien council, cig man still manages to be unprofessional and lie through his teeth to people who seem far more competent, even when secrecy effects the entire planet. something very funny about him lowkey sucking at his job)

so he needs to get the shooter out of the country NOW or else skinner can make an ID and no one can stop the arrest!

back to the agents trying to piece things together. the lone gunmen are babbling on about how to best find what was written on the case but mulder has the secret: rubbing a lil pencil over top LMAOOO. he finds a phone number!!

and who picks it up when he calls but… the un alien club!!!

it’s the well groomed man!!! mulder says krycek gave him the number. and he asks to meet with mulder. allegedly in central park? is this a trap...

so, the dude who did the shooting is named luis. the other agents are saying to scully they can’t look any further than they already have, but she says keep looking, she’s seen stranger. and the lab guy says “i believe she has” when she leaves lmaoooo GET UP. he's down bad fr. pathetic. get up.

i mean i am too but i'd like to think i'd have more dignity about it

mulder in da park. is he alone… are they gonna get him??? the well-groomed man meets him. they’re playing some mental chess with who can ask each other what. so he tells mulder there WAS a ufo at the bottom of the ocean that was shot down during ww2, and a salvage attempt had been made, but there were complications.

so it looks like they’re both looking for krycek. but the well groomed man leaves by saying “anyone can be gotten to”. very very ominous. and mulder calls scully and says check on skinner RIGHT NOW.

she gets down there and he’s NOT THERE??? apparently he was moved to a different hospital. WHO TOOK HIM?????

scully slaps her badge on the door of a ambulance on the side of the road and asks if he’s got a skinner in there. this dude says yeah and he must be freaked tf out, but she’s coming along for the ride now.

skinner wants to know what she’s doing here, and she says she just wanted him to be safe. she pulls her gun out and opens the door and WHO IS IT BUT LUIS!!! WHO FIRES AT SKINNER!

TRAFFIC GUNFIGHT CHASE!!! luis just got hit by a CAR!!! she got him!!!

and she’s SCREAMING at him. screaming like we have never heard before, are you the man that killed my sister??? he’s begging for his life.  he says he can tell her where krycek is…

the police roll up, telling her to put the gun down. and she sadly holds up her badge and explains that she’s basically the police but actually better so y’all are kinda late to the situation. they take him into custody. and she’s tearing up. i do not trust that he doesn’t have a poison tooth in there. 

she calls mulder, who is rummaging through his car, and tells him that he was right, someone was going to kill skinner. and it IS the man who shot her sister. and allegedly krycek is going to north dakota. mulder says please meet me in new york with two tickets to north dakota asap. 

what’s in north dakota, she asks? the salvaged ufo!!!

cut to north dakota cam. agents are rolling up, and how terribly i wish i could see what happened on the flight and ride up to there. how tense the silence was, how valiant the attempts at breaking it were. UGH. someone pls write the fic someday i’m already emotional.

she’s got a vest thing on and it’s cute. i get that we have bigger things at hand but i can still appreciate a vest moment!!

they go into a silo... but the door locks behind them!!! they go 8 stories down!! that is a lot!!!! 

now they’re opening a door to what looks like a nuclear waste thing. idk i don't know much about nukes. but it’s just a big empty silo. so they have to check 199 more. 

except they hear a thunk in the tunnels!!!

scully finds one of the (barely alive?) burn victims that had been flash banged by krycek just as mulder announces “he’s here”, and a large group of soldiers runs in

OH! they go to start running from the soldiers and he grabs her. it was so subtle but so sweet. i’m gonna gnaw at something. 

NOOO! they’re surrounded!!! and cancer man is coming up. she yells that they saw bodies in there and he says “you saw nothing” <- wow absolutely garbage fellow has sunken further than even before by adding gaslighting to his resume

so they’re getting taken into custody but cancer man is going deeper, and he tells the soldiers to take the bodies away. he goes down to the nuclear thingy, and lights up, which i feel would be a bad choice in a circumstance where things were actually nuclear, but okay. 

we see something very dark and oily? and hear people throwing up. OH! it’s krycek, with the black stuff pouring from his eyes and mouth. on top of a triangular looking ufo. the oil is pouring into a spiral thingy? and it gets sucked up. 

MULDER AT HIS DESK WITH HIS GLASSES ON!!!! AND A HEALING CUT ON HIS FOREHEAD!!! could a man be any more attractive? it’s debatable.

knock knock. who is it? it’s skinner!!!! limping, and not supposed to be back in the office for a few more weeks!

mulder gets up to shake his hand and help him across the room. a right gentleman, he can be. OHHH so this is why i have seen those bloopers of skinner with a cane LMAOOOO

he’s looking for scully though lmao. yeah not interested in YOU, mulder. 

mulder thanks him for getting shot because he stood up to the evil. he’s saying no, no, i wasn’t doing that, at all. i don’t know what you’re talking about. but not in a humble brag way, in a denying allegations sort of way. it's interesting. my brain is still stuck on this moment.

he says that he “mistakenly” believed he could bring melissa’s murder to justice. mulder says hey, what do you mean by that? so that is why skinner needs to go see her.

she's out and about, though. she’s bringing flowers to melissa’s grave NOOOOO :((((((( she doesn’t even say anything, she just sits there. 

UNTIL MULDER COMES AND BRINGS FLOWERS TOO??? and she has to brace herself to see him. 

he touches her shoulder gently before he sets them down. oh my GOSH

she tells him about how someone told her the dead speak to you from beyond the grave, and that is what a conscience is. he says that’s interesting, that he’s never thought of it that way. a man who sees her suffering and doesn't know what to say to make it better.

and she thought that finding the man who killed her would bring closure but it didn’t. 

he grabs her by the arm at this point, and says he needs to talk to her. tells her that they found luis dead. whoever was behind it all tried to cover it up. 

“i think the dead are speaking to us, mulder. demanding justice” <-stop. stop i’ll cry. you think i won’t cry? you think, for some reason, i won’t sob? i won’t collapse into a heap? you’d be incorrect. you’d be naive and mistaken. you’d be an utter fool, even in a world of fools.

(muffled screaming of me trying to keep it together)

but funny i should type that, because we also hear some muffled screaming on camera, that of krycek trapped in the ufo?? or in the room with it, deep in the nuclear silo?

episode ends with his screams.

WHAT!!!

so much has happened. and really one thing is on my mind: who is gonna hug scully? who is gonna tell her that the anger is okay, even if it’s futile? who is gonna hold the baddest woman alive close and listen? even if all she has to say is silence? 

RAAAAAAAAH i’m gonna CRY.

i feel like i could write another thinkpiece here but i also feel like i need to let this one sit for a bit. 

scully holding skinner’s hand, scully waiting by mulder’s bedside, scully saving skinner’s life, scully screaming, so guttural, at the man that killed her sister. scully in glasses and scully in vests and scully in coats. furious and devastating and calculating and guilty. 

i have some major questions re: krycek and cancer man and why don’t they just deal with him already??? like for real. i know the answer is gonna be that someone from higher up would just replace him, but i do think it is funny how he goes about blatantly committing all those crimes and then clocks into work the next day like nothing happened. and no one can act like anything happened because they’ll tear the fbi down if they do. we all have a coworker like that, don’t we? that sucks terribly but you can’t do anything about it because the inside supports how terrible they suck? sigh. many such cases.

krycek, if i’m supposed to feel bad for you, i don’t. starve in that ufo and see if i give a damn. 

skinner denying any concept of heroism… i think he’s doing it to keep himself safe. like he said to scully, any sort of accusations are risky. i don’t think he wants anyone to get the idea that he is a hero, even if he is in reality. i also think he has a complex and a great fear of being PERCEIVED as a hero after the things he did during war, and who knows what else he did but hasn't spoken about. but interesting still that he would deny a gesture as simple as being thanked. 

there are many dots in my head. i would like to think they are connecting, but honestly i’ve got matty healy dupe mr. mulder on my mind still just because it was so funny. and then also scully angst. and a deep deep desire to get into that car on the drive from the airport to north dakota, to just listen in on whatever went down. maybe i’ll have to write it if no one else does! isn’t that terrible? when no one else will write the exact thing you want to read, so you have to do it?

(i’ve actually never written fic before so that would be a major commitment. but a one shot here or there sounds interesting)

anyway. lots on my mind. it was a good episode, but kept a lot of things unsolved. which is the point, i know, but they dangle the answers in front of you!! then snatch them away!! i wanted a tiny bit more of the tea. 

but i guess, on the other hand, we know what the tea is, don’t we? we know cancer man and the UN alien squad are hiding this, they’re aware that this alien creature can cause radiation, they’re aware of ufos and they’re covering them up. they might not be aware of the exact nature of the creature, but they ARE aware of it, and that it’s a weapon of mass destruction. what isn’t clear is how tf krycek got roped into this. but again i really dgaf about his loser ass. 

i’m plotting. i’m pinning things on boards and tying them together with string. and then making predictions from there.

(actually, think it’s cool we see a bunch of different kinds of aliens on this show. there were the poison blood clones, standard alien 👽 fellow, and now the oil creature. fun that we get multiple perspectives and takes on what could be. perhaps scarier than just plain old little 👽, but!!! interesting for worldbuilding purposes)

back to plotting….

[pepsiiwho]

Okay. Finished a checks watch 10 hour play session, without breaks no stopping.

General thoughts down below. No explicit spoilers but tone/ personality reads ahead. Long post :D feel free to respond or whatever.

One of the first things that I just wanna get out the way is, personally, the cast in this game is leagues better than the first game. And that isn’t like a “ah they’re all hotter!” (They are, don’t misconstrue what I’m saying, they very much are hotter then the first game’s cast) but the general vibe in cross roads is significantly more intresting. Which is very funny considering the set up, on paper, is remarkably similar. Hard ass, stuck up head of the place, shade mentor, emo bitch who hates you and wants to fuck you, emo boy who wants to fuck you, nebulous little thing that doesn’t serve a purpose but allows for comedic relief, hypnos, skelly— the works.

Yet the energy is wildly different. Idk I’m not like a zagreus dick rider or anything he’s cool but you really can feel how lonely the house of hades was in comparison to cross roads camp, a place not even half its size. The affection for Mel is like bursting out the seems of everyone around her (save Nem) and it goes past duty or obligation to the cause. It really feels like they all love each other dearly. I think that was so missing in the house of hades, intentionally or otherwise, but it felt so… cold? I always knew hypnos got that treatment because I’m crazy, but looking back that’s how everyone acting with zag too. They just talked to him. lol.

Ahhh to this point but a little bit to the left— hectate and Mel’s everything is incredibly compelling. Mel clearly and obviously seeing her as a mother figure, the only one she’s ever known and loving her deeply for it and frankly fighting in this war partly out of duty but more for her family she DOES have now, and then Hectate who knew Mel’s family and knew what they went through and refuses to take the place of “mother” when Mel has a mother, even if she isn’t here right now. But instead of detaching and making sure no real connection is made she’s so kind. She’s so supportive and loving and sweet and you can tell she cares about Mel so much. Zag’s mom came home and like, never gave off the vibe she cared even half as much. There’s a few moments when Mel tries to convey this love and this almost… mm… this idea that she doesn’t … need? A mom because she has one (hectate) and the witch shuts it down soooo quickly and Mel is always so dejected and it hurts but it’s sooo good. God. I want more of that. For the whole game. Please

Moros is a fucking delight. Like absolutely delightful. He’s sweet and polite and unassuming and kinda just sorry for taking up space but in the dignified way. I love everything about him. I am writing this checks watch May 6th, 2024 and at this point he is lovely. Assuming he doesn’t like, back hand hypnos he’s top 5 easy.

Nemesis is… unfortunately funny and charming. I hate emos I hate the bitchy dark thing I hated Meg for the same reason. This character shouldn’t work for me��. But it does. She’s the worst. I routinely cursed her out when she came on my screen. And yet. I think where Nem succeeds where Meg (and than) failed, is that nem genuinely is like, an asshole. And that’s endearing. She insults Mel and undermines her and talks down to her and clearly they have crazy beef. Meg and than just felt sooo put on with their back and forth with zag and it got old fast. Nem is a delight. If she doesn’t like, back hand hypnos she’s staying in my good graces.

Odess… has the least for me to say honestly. He’s sexy. Not much more than that. I adore how smitten he is with Mel, he clearly adores her.

Hypnos. Hand waves. No need to rehash that. Don’t touch me.

As for the oylmpus gods, they’re all as amazing as before. Apollo is my favorite, obviously, and he isn’t how I expected but he’s like just as wonderful in the opposite direction. This is the wrong way but it’s still took us to a great place. I’m content.

The goddess of fire is broken as hell as a boon also she’s a delight. Adore her. Same for the god of forges. Everyone is wonderful. I need more gods tho the current batch is amazing but I need ares and Athena yaknow everyone else. Idk if that’s an “add to the game later” thing or a “pepsi needs to play more of the game” thing. Either way I’m excited.

Story isn’t fully clear yet, as for what happened, it’s all just the stuff in the trailers tbh so nothing new there. All and all is having a fucking blast. I didn’t mention everyone I saw and enjoyed or didn’t because I’m tired sleepy but I have no one I don’t like RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW everyone is a delight.

Fic soon…

WAIT I DIDNT EVEN SAY: MEL IS THR BEST. 3

EVERYTHING AVOUT HER IS AMAZING!! Im gonna give her a separate post tmw i adore her down BAD

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

kinda annoying tbh that theres not a lot that people do to show good sides of wave and storms relationship unless they're trying to ship them. got any headcanons or tidbits about how those two interact with eachother?

i have SO MANY, but i’ll list some of the more compelling ones :3 i love these too in like a “we’re so different on an ideological level, but we both love jet SO MUCH so we have to work together” notion.

- since storm is gifted in the culinary arts, he knows wave’s weakness: cacio e pepe. ONLY WHEN HE MAKES IT THOUGH. so if he ever needs to bribe her or get her to not have a stick up her ass, he says he’ll make it and she begrudgingly cooperates.

- similarly, when wave goes hermitmode in her workshop, no matter how insane she is, he will always bring her a bowl of fresh fruit. she has to eat it

- there’s a common misconception that storm is stupid, and an even futher misconception that he’s the immature one. wave can actually be extremely petty and uncooperative at times, but storm makes a point of bridging their differences. he’s patient and tries to understand her as best he can when they’re dealing with a situation and wave has gotten better with her patience

- they are both into music from completely different angles. wave is an “i learned on my dad’s kit” percussionist who would play along to records and can’t read sheetmusic well, whiplash style. storm is a composer who score studies and conducts, spending so much of his time perfecting and studying. this is one of those scenarios where wave actually has to listen to storm if she’s filling in on kit for his ensemble. yeah, percussionists are usually the timekeepers, but with a conductor the hierarchy gains another level. wave does get frustrated, but moreso with herself as she tries to play how he needs her to play

- in my lore, wave went rogue from the rogues for a few years, unbeknownst to jet. she was present during the day, but would sneak out at night for some diabolical shit and it was always storm waiting up for her with tea to make sure she came back. this is actually why in interpret her to be so jaded when it comes to storm: a sense of guilt or embarrassment. storm worrying over her makes her react negatively as it feels belittling, and reminds her that what she was doing was bad. he is a constant reminder of everything she once was, stuff she tries to forget, and she HATES how he looks at her sometimes because he remembers and he worries about her and a part of her doesn’t feel like she deserves it. sorry, did i say these would be fun? NO! SUFFERING!

- storm is very good at reading wave to filth, but he does it wholesomely and casually, and she can’t even be mad. example:

wave: i have to fix the transmission on my jetta

storm: right, because instead of staying in the passing lane, you weave in and out of traffic to save yourself 0 minutee in travel time instead of being patient and letting people merge

wave: … (“: hah. well, i mean…

storm: mhm. :”)

another example, for shits and giggles:

like, come on! storm is less aggressive than schlatt, but you can’t tell me they don’t go at it like this because they totally do.

- FINAL ONE TO MAKE THIS A TRAUMA SANDWICH THAT ENDS NICELY: storm’s birthday is october 19th, whereas wave’s is november 11th. they’re hardly a year apart in age yet there’s a boomer esque joke of storm being soooo much older than her and she needs to respect her elders. it’s either that storm is too old to get something, or wave is too young to remember the good old days. no one else finds this funny or even gets the joke, so it’s a bit they share sarcastically with one another. on that note, i think it’s pretty clear they’re always sarcastically egging each other on, but no one else picks up on it lmao

[ay0nha]

Dead Man Walking (II) | Tommy Miller

SUMMARY: “Jealous?” The warmth you felt helped the teasing statement be excused. Tommy scratched at his facial hair, trying to cover for himself, emanating a light laugh. But you only continued to joke.  “Maybe if you knocked him out for me, I’d be kissing you better.”

PAIRING: Tommy Miller x femme!reader

WORD COUNT: 2.5K

WARNINGS: not too much, pretty fluff oriented, grumpy reader getting hit on poorly, mentions of guns, little bit spicy (not smut though), hot mess because I rushed the ending, cliches/tropes, etc.

A/N: Soooo, here’s a part two! I was struggling with this one a little bit, but I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that it is what it is. Enjoy! AS ALWAYS Huge thank you to @from-the-clouds​ who continually listens and helps!

The house always seemed to groan. It held ghosts of previous owners that begged for their lives back. And yet, you moved through the home as if your name was on the deed.

Tommy let you pick, but the choice was purely based on distance rather than vanity. The families congregated in colorful homes that they made their own. Other neighbors shared goods, extending themselves selflessly. But you couldn’t engage as they wanted you to, so willingly unguarded.

You can trust us.

Tommy’s words were compelling. Yet, you hardly left the provided house without him luring you out with promises of fresh air and target practice. It kept you sane to place your catharsis into something outside the confines of the town.

But you needed to stretch your legs further; you wanted to join Tommy on patrol. You never asked, though. You hadn’t planned to until you got over the fact that it was purely due to how the separation impacted you.

“Let me get you another glass.” A man interrupted your solitude. You knew what his attention suggested. Regardless, your glass was pushed forward in mild resignation.

During your time in Jackson, you learned quickly about the liquor they stored. It was the only thing that comforted you with familiarity. The man recognized that, providing a glass full to the brim. You thought to thank him, but instead, you showed appreciation through a few continuous sips.

“There’s no rush, little lady.” The look on his face could have been misconstrued as being impressed by your actions. But the laugh he let out revealed his amusement. “I’ve got plenty more to share.”

You requested more, to which he happily obliged. The bottle was settled on the wooden table you unintentionally claimed. It sat in the back of the dining area, where your back could never be to the door, and you could keep a careful eye on Tommy.

“I was thinking-

“Didn’t think someone like you was capable of that.” It may have been the longest sentence he had heard come from you. But it was far from the cruelest you had pent up.

“Ah, come on now, I’ve got some brains up here. ” He feigned offense, but his smile spread. To him, you were hard to get, someone seen as unattainable who, through his flirtatious efforts, could massage something sweeter out of you. “Enough to know a pretty thing like yourself shouldn’t be so lonely.”

“Not sure I’m convinced…” You clicked your teeth with sarcasm, toying with your glass. You decided once it was low enough, you’d find something else for entertainment. “Think you might’ve missed the point of why I’m over here.”

“You don’t make it easy to stay away.”

You ignored the way his eyes drifted along your body hungrily. They were always on you with the jobs you shared. He was never subtle, but you doubted subtly was his priority.

“Then, I’ll have to try harder.”

The bottle’s contents lowered as you helped yourself to another glass. The man before you took it as your walls coming down, acting on a moment of what he took as vulnerability.

"I know everyone says you're… shy…” The community considered you a recluse. Their gazes questioned if your additional mouth to feed was worth it. “But I can tell you’re fun…just need to open you up a little.”

He insinuated something you would never entertain. His hands inched towards yours across the table to enrapture you. Yet, your focus was on Tommy across the room. You were determined to meet his eye, but he was engrossed with his company. A smile pulled his face occasionally as he contributed to the friendly conversation.

You would have memorized the way the corners of his eyes crinkled, how his laughter started deep within his chest just to echo its way to you. Typically, you’d scold yourself for admiring him that way but indulged regardless. Tonight, it hadn’t come as naturally. It was his final night before the next patrol, and you sat idly stewing in discontent.

“Look–” You’d forgotten about your date. When your eyes shifted to him, you saw how he tried to be genuine, but men like him could never accomplish that. “–I get this is new, meeting people and all that.  I felt the same when I was saved, but–

If your eyes lingered ahead just a beat longer, you would have caught the moment Tommy checked on you. But the words spoken begged for your undivided attention.

“You think I needed saving?” You mocked the pity. You heard what they said, the rumors they spread about you. But this was new; you being viewed as the product of mercy.

“You deserve better–someone-” He paused to speak more definitively. “Someone who keeps the bed warm when things get lonely.”

“Let me guess, that’s you?” There was something inside you that knew better, but the moment to be a bigger person never found you.  “The man that shovels shit for a living. Lucky me.”

“I knew you had a mouth on you.” He wet his lips with his drink, finishing it off.  The bottle was in his hand as he went to leave, but typical of any man, he needed the last word. “Shame I won’t be able to put it to good use.”

Anger had been your companion all night. The alcohol was a catalyst to match his stance. There were murmurs around you, eyes looking for a spectacle. With a hand on the pistol attached to your hip, you hadn’t noticed Tommy detach himself from the group, knowing your next move.

“Say that again.” Cocking your head on a tilt, your expression hardened into something wild. “I didn’t quite hear you.”

The man laughed, smile morphing from something amiable to something sinister. “You know, a bitch like you needs controlling–

“That’s enough.” Tommy cut in before the insult could materialize. Your tongue was sharp and ready, but the hand that settled on your spine caused the words to die. “Now, join the others.”

“Tommy…” He started again, trying to reason, man to man. “She’s been nothing but– I was just trying–

“I wasn’t suggestin’.”

Tommy's hand remained on you every step to the door. The touch was foreign, but you could tell through the warmth it was more for his sake than yours. It was as if he were holding back from doing more damage than you.

“I had that handled.” You voiced your frustration, moving languidly from drunkenness. Brushing off his hand, you spat again, “I didn’t need your help.”

“I was helping him.” The cool air carried his words. He was calm, almost happy to have left the festivities. “If I waited any longer, he wouldn’t be standing.”

Your expression diffused slightly at his comment, "He would have deserved it."

“Oh, I don’t doubt that.” Tommy looked to the stars instead of you. “He always sweet on you like that?”

You gave him a once-over.

“Jealous?” The warmth you felt helped the teasing statement be excused. Tommy scratched at his facial hair, trying to cover for himself, emanating a light laugh. But you only continued to joke.  “Maybe if you knocked him out for me, I’d be kissing you better.”

The irony was palpable. The times Tommy got in trouble for the sake of saving someone’s honor could no longer be counted on one hand. He would have easily fallen into the trap all those years ago, but now he only watched how you stumbled beside him.

“Think it’s time to call it a night.”

You stared heavenward as he had, the icy air making tears prick your waterline. It was all too much too soon. The happiness was nauseating, and the community’s collective eye made you cynical.

“Walk me back?”

“‘Course.”

You led the path back, choosing the long way purposefully. You had waited long enough to spend time with him, and with him in your grasp, he was yours for the night. Your shoulders brush but never quite touched, and you tried to think of something to say. You didn’t know what you could say if you were brave enough to say what you wanted. It remained like that until you unlocked the front door.

“How are you settling in?” Tommy took the state your home. Things looked untouched, your bag still packed, ready to leave at a moment’s notice.

“Don’t.”

“I’m not tryin’ to argue.”

Tommy diffused lightly, choosing to settle in the living room. He always looked for something to fix in your home, an excuse to knock on your door. You watched his fingers trail the fireplace, assuring the caulk hadn’t cracked.

“We’re not arguing.”

The idea stung; that every interaction the two of you had led into disarray. Tommy wasn’t blind to the fact that it wasn’t a personal attack, just a moment of progress only he had the privilege to be a part of.

“Thought you would have killed these by now.” Tommy played with the petals of the flowers he’d collected. They were wildflowers he plucked. After borrowing some dirt from the farmers, he placed them in an old tin. A housewarming gift, he called it.

“So did I.”

Some days, you’d sit there and watch the flowers bloom into the centerpiece for the coffee table. Some petals started brown, others falling off completely. But you encouraged the emerging buds with water and company. It was the only other living thing to occupy your home other than Tommy.

He knew you chose to be quiet. There were times you’d ramble when he hit the right topic. But you’d quickly retreat once you saw how warm his gaze was. Even now, fumbling through your cabinets, you held back. The glasses you found were already full when you spoke up again.

“Want one?”

“I leaving early tomorrow.” Tapping on the sofa’s side, Tommy hesitated but ultimately declined. You stayed with your back to him, but he watched you tense at the mention of the patrol.

“Two for me, then.” There would be no point in stopping you in your own home of all places. But you knew if you turned, you’d find a grimace, a judgment of your actions.

“We’re only going a few miles out.” Tommy attempted again. The air was thick with reservation. But you remained quiet, busing yourself with whatever was before you.  He called your name, desperate for a proper response. “I won’t be gone for long…”

You suppressed the previous anger you held, it felt too hard to call upon it. But everything felt cyclical, a need for an answer to an obvious question never said aloud. “Why don’t you let me join you?”

“We both know the answer to that.”

Sitting now, Tommy looked like he belonged. Like he’d just had a long day at work, body open and inviting for any sort of tension relief he could provide. It had almost distracted you from your antagonism. Almost.

“I can handle myself.”

“You think I don’t know that?” He looked at you with genuineness, eyebrows pinched with slight worry.  At least that’s what you believed it to be until he worked through his confusion, “You worried about me, is that it?”

“No.” The answer was just swift enough for Tommy to read between the lines. But it was only half of your reasoning. “They don’t need you every time, there are plenty others.”

“It’s the least I can do.”

Tommy owed more than his life could offer to the community. You knew his feelings countered yours. “How noble.”

“Thought we wasn’t arguin’.” Tommy’s lip twitched into something teasingly smug. “Careful now." He warned cleverly,  "It’s starting to sound like you care.”

Curiosity transformed the air, “Is that how you would talk to me?”

Tommy let out a questioning hum, his eyes trained on your every movement. Neither noticed how you crept towards him, practically knocking your knees with his.

“Before.” You encouraged him, instructed him. “Talk to me like you would before.”

You expected resistance. But with his long, slender hands, on which the weather had taken its toll, Tommy reached for you.

Standing between his legs, his head lulled back, “Let’s see…” You squirmed to his pleasure, confirming the next words were all the more accurate, “I would say somethin’ about that blush of yours.”

You refrained from taking place beside him until now, knowing the work of your bourbon would take over. You weren’t daring enough to settle on his lap, but with every ounce of courage, you mustered, your legs were flesh with his.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” An arm settled behind you as Tommy played out the scenario. He had given plenty of thought to it. “I’d make sure you knew I only have eyes for you.” There was your smoking cowboy.  “Then, I’d–I would–

“Go on, tell me what you’d do…” Your voice was just above a whisper. You were intent on distracting him. Especially when your hand dragged along his jean-clad thigh, going higher and higher, trying to reach an unexplored destination.

Steady as ever, Tommy’s eye contact remind strong, and his breathing even. You wished you could read his mind to know how if your fingers continued to dance on him, he’d do himself in.

“You lost?”

You avoided his question as you pressed your lips to his. You finally were relieved of the fog that you carried with you. This, the clear solution. You pulled him by the shearling of his jacket  to only hold him closer as you attacked his lips.

It was easy for Tommy to get lost in the sensation. He used his position to his advantage to deepen the kiss, thumb playing at your temple. He held you firmly despite his continual gentle touch. It was as if he got more relief from it than you had, but it was hard to tell as you melted into his touch.

Yet, he quickly pushed back, hand finding purchase on your jaw, "W-wait-Wait."

Your lips were swollen, all his doing, which only made the words that left them all the more beautiful, "Stay with me."

Relief washed over you when he agreed. You were bolder now, no longer using your inebriation as a crutch. You thread your fingers through his hair while Tommy passed along another peck in gratitude. The moment he stepped through your door, Tommy sought the invitation. The toll of patrol worked both ways, and staying with you allowed something for him to hold onto until he returned. A little dryness in the mouth, lethargy in the muscles, and clumsiness in the tongue would be the only memory of how Tommy stayed until the sun rose.

[wanderingblindly]

Hi liquid!! (Wow first time using your name here!) This is a totally random ask (and quite a silly one too if i do say so myself), i was scrolling on here and saw a few of your reblogs of motogp stuff and even tho I'm italian so i have to be a vale rossi fan by default (although I don't watch motogp) i got mesmerized by the marquez gifs i saw here on tumblr. I don't know much about him but he's soooo. He made me think of one of those cats that really don't mind if anybody touches them and just picked up and manhandled constantly. Insane really. Opinions?

omg hi!!!!!!!

I'll be so real, I also don't watch motogp (YET, I'm gonna start this coming season). But I find,,, I find his face,,, so compelling,,,, my opinions on him are thus:

I need to manhandle him. Stretch. Inspect.

[jacksgreysays]

ooooh glad to see your requests are open again!! how about- "things you said that i wasn't meant to hear" for shikako and kakashi?

Oooh, anon, the first thing that came to my mind with this prompt was pretty mean. Like… I’m going to explain what it was after, but I think it might be TOO mean to actually write in full:

---

Naruto is the one to go through the pictures, of course, the colors faded with age; but the bright blue of his father’s eyes and deep red of his mother’s hair still visible. He presses uncharacteristically gentle hands against the worn fabric of a light pink kitchen apron, a jacket with bold patterns around the red Uzumaki spiral, an unused baby blanket with his name embroidered on it. The soft sentimental things, remnants of a family that should have been, this is what Naruto focuses on as he finally, belatedly, goes through the inheritance that should have been his all along.

Kakashi says nothing, turns away so as to give his student a small amount of privacy, but does not leave him. Not this time.

Down the hall, his other students are focused instead on the more practical items: Weapons and armor. Storage scrolls—some of which are labeled, but the majority of which are not. Fuinjutsu research notes both in Minato-sensei’s slanted chicken scratch and Kushina-san’s looping, cresting hand.

“This is fine,” he hears Sasuke say, no doubt using his Sharingan to pick up any hidden, lingering security techniques. “Something’s weird about that shelf, we should skip it for now.”

“Look at all of this,” Shikako’s words are followed by the rapid rustling of paper. “This is beyond ingenious, this is… this is impossible.”

The part of Kakashi that isn’t constantly grieving feels second hand pride on behalf of his mentor.

“You do the impossible all the time,” Sasuke’s response is somehow flat yet still conveys exasperation.

“Not like this,” she says, her tone absolutely certain, not just the usual flavor of humility and self-doubt. “I can’t even imagine… to have been able to learn from either of them—from both of them?—I would have been able to do so much.”

Sasuke says something after that, but the words don’t make it through to Kakashi. The constantly grieving part of him rises swiftly as guilt, flooding his ears with white noise. Because he knows Shikako would never imply it, but he can hear it anyway:

Had she been Minato-sensei’s student, had she been the child practically adopted by Kushina-san through force of will alone, had she been there, then, if it had been her…

She would have been able to do so much better than Kakashi did.

—

Okay, it’s pretty short and I took a lot of the sting out of it, but the original idea was basically going to JUST be Shikako and Kakashi going through some of Minato’s old fuinjutsu notes and then Shikako kind of accidentally implying that had Kakashi bothered to learn under Konoha’s, perhaps, greatest fuinjutsu master (I think Minato apparently perfected a lot of things Tobirama only had protoypes for?) then a lot of tragedies, both personal and public, wouldn’t have happened or been as bad. I think the meanest one that came to me was that Rin wouldn’t have died since Minato had been working on a way to temporarily transfer a jinchuuriki seal from a person onto an item—probably in preparation for Naruto’s birth—such that they both could have made it home to Konoha where then the actual sealing masters could fix the seal on Rin which, uhhhhh, so sorry Kakashi T_T

There were other things like—a student of a sealing master (especially one that had Sharingan) would have noticed and been able to tweak or remove ROOT seals or find Orochimaru’s fucked up laboratories, etc. etc.

Just me bullying Kakashi, the saddest string bean in the world.

But at least I made it a little nicer? Oof, soooo sorry, anon, I can’t really think of anything else that is as meanly compelling as this.

[hwnglx]

can you do a current energy reading for bang chan? i’ve been pretty worried about him for a while now, he’s been pretty open about struggling lately and now with all of this recent stuff going on i’m just wondering how he’s doing with it all.

bangchan's current energy ﴾ may '23 based on tarot, take it with a grain of salt

10ofw&knofp, 2ofw&emper, 8ofsw, 5ofsw, 8ofp

the 10 of wands jumped out right away. chan can sometimes feel like he has the entire world on his shoulders. he's the type to make it look easy, but there's sooo much responsibility resting on him. i can really feel the weight of it while reading myself. however, combined with the slow, steady and stable knight of pentacles, i don't see the weight of it crushing him.

he's being patient. from this spread alone, i can tell that he exactly knows how to deal with burdensome periods, he's been through them many times before. he's experienced these type of struggles already, so it's nothing he can't handle.

he's a very wise, mature and assertive guy. he's taking charge of whatever situation is thrown at him, and is currently in the midst of carefully planning out his next steps. he's really saying "okay, this is what we're gonna do, this is what we are not gonna do." i even see his voice overpowering many higher ups. chan is definitely the main guy in not only his career, but also skz's careers.

you notice how i did not say anything about his mental state yet? that's because all the cards i got till later on, only show me his strength dealing with everything. i think, he has the toxic tendency to push everything concerning his own wellbeing to the complete background.

but, inside he's feeling some anxiety. honestly, i think this entire situation with ive made him overthink a lot. he feels like his intentions were misunderstood. he feels like there's this lack of power he has over people from the outside putting words in his mouth, it's causing a sense of hopelessness inside him. like, no matter what he says, he can't really win. chan being a double libra makes him soooo overly focused on being liked by everyone. he hates knowing that there's people who view him in a bad light now.

the eight of pentacles in the end is showing me, he's working hard. obv skz are preparing for their comeback, so i see most of his mind being there, but i can also see him at least trying to somehow work on his attitude towards situations like these. he's always focused on how to become a better influence on the people around him, so i see him working on overcoming these negative emotions he can hold on to sometimes.

something compelled me to pull out my moonology oracle deck and i pulled:

new moon in virgo: a time to give rather than take

-> he's overanalyzing things -> but gradual improvements are coming -> potential to fully restart in a clever and organized manner -> universe is telling him: "don't think about what others are doing to you, think about what you can do for them"

message that resonated most is: take care of your health!

he should eat better, have healthier routines, maybe seek out some therapy. i really see the universe telling him to get a counsellor, someone he can vent to freely.

[emmys-grimoire]

Nightbringer

Okay, emerging briefly from my hibernation to offer my thoughts on the livestream bombshell that dropped yesterday.

It looks like we’re getting a whole new game with the same characters and the same setting. I’m not sure what this means for the original game. Are they separating the fluff and the actual story now? The trailer is notably grittier and darker than anything we’ve seen yet, befitting the “Nightbringer” moniker.

Here’s a few notable things in the trailer which may or may not be getting attention. I don’t know: I hardly pay attention to most of the fandom.

Time travel shenanigans again

If you weren’t fond of how they handled the time travel in S1, well, you’re probably not going to like this.

In the beginning of the trailer, and at the very end, we get a shot of a bunch of spiraling doors and Barbatos hushing us. Soooo... we’re probably the same MC and we’re deliberately being flung back in time to fix the future, or something along those lines. I would not pin hope on a brand new MC or one of the brothers being a PoV character.

How do the doors relate to Barbatos? Well besides his room featuring them, the devs were so keen on the concept of a room full of thousands of doors that they modeled Barbatos after this concept. They’re finally using it!

The livestream suggested that the story will occur shortly after the Great Celestial War, and there’s several shots in the trailer that support this.

Namely, Satan’s.

We’re finally getting that Satan lore (probably)

One of the first scenes in the trailer is a before and after shot.

We can tell it’s a before-after shot because of the setting (first is the Celestial Realm -- there’s no sun in the Devildom -- and, well, they’re clearly angels) and the fact that Satan isn’t in the first shot.

Additionally, the character reel...

The parallels can’t be any more on the nose, really. Lucifer is in obvious pain and clutching his head, and Satan mirrors him and looks like he wants to gouge out Lucifer’s eyes. Everyone else is just looking cool.

Soon after, we get this scene.

The brothers are filed behind Lucifer/Diavolo in order... except for Satan, who is the closest behind Lucifer. I’m guessing Lucifer just found out he’s a father. Congratulations!

There’s too much here for it not to be a relevant plot point.

Weird Ass (Evil?) Goo

I think one of the game’s weak points is the story doesn’t have any serious threats or big bads, and they don’t have the complex interpersonal relationships to fill in that gap and still make a compelling story -- or, rather, they’re now afraid of portraying our husbandos in unflattering lights for any prolonged period of time now that they’re hopelessly in love with us.

I think they might be changing that with Nightbringer.

Beyond the fact that we’ll need to go back in time for some reason, there’s this weird goop thing in the trailer.

It starts with the moon turning red.

Not a big deal. It looks cool and I’d normally dismiss it as just artistic flair, but this shot follows it right after. It’s some strange liquid swirling around an orb of light (presumably the ‘moon’?)

Weird. Not only that, but...

They zoom in on it and the “moon” inside of it begins to disintegrate. It’s also featured in the background in of each character shot.

I wonder if there’s going to be some evil symbiote messing things up and we’re being sent back in time to destroy it before it gets out of hand lol

Maybe it’s the Nightbringer or something

In conclusion...

I’m cautiously optimistic about this new game but slightly concerned about the old game. This might have been the alternative to writing season 5, but if it gives me the lore and conflict the story so desperately needs, then I’m happy; I’ve stopped logging in for a reason.

I’d like there to be no gacha elements in Nightbringer but hahahahaha that’s not gonna happen 

[thedailydescent]

hiii for the ask meme, how did you discover it or get interested in the show? an unpopular opinion? and/or have you read or watched anything because it was referenced in the show? :)

Hey!!! Finally getting around to answering this haha.

How did you discover it or get interested in the show?

It was actually @minim236 who inspired me to watch it back when I had my old blog! Anyway, the trailer had Jacob Anderson in it and I was like Greyworm ok let's go! And although I had not read the book or watched the movie yet, Claudia the child vampire is so well known I already knew about her, so was interested in that concept. Naturally, she became my favourite character :)

An unpopular opinion?

I feel I have soooo many unpopular opinions haha, but I'll say what I think is my most unpopular one, just because I feel like I'm following the right people here who won't mind:

Lestat as a character just does not compel or interest me in any way. I don't care about Loustat, about Lesmand, or any other relationships that involve him. Sam Reid did an amazing job, and got me drawn to him initially, but by the end of episode 3 I was getting a bit, well, and by the end of Episode 5, all sympathy for him went out the window, as did my interest. And full respect to other people who are still invested in his character btw! But I feel like because they made the abuse blatant rather than just brushing over it, many book fans were pissed, so now had to argue contend with a whole bunch of people not liking their special boy whom they've cherished for years. I disagree. I feel like the writers did a brave thing by not brushing over the negative impact Lestat has throughout the entire series. They, in a way, made the relationship more human and real, as this type of abuse is unfortunately still very normal today. They're not showing him through rose-tinted glasses, they're asking you to really look at it, so it'll be much more of a writing challenge to make him likeable and redeemable again to the general audience. It's an interesting concept, but until then, I just don't care at all about him! I don't feel anything when it comes to the romantic scenes between him and Louis either now, and I'm not excitedly waiting to explore his side of the story in the future seasons. The appeals to 'them being vampires' and 'this is supposed to be a gothic romance' has no affect on me, not because I 'can't handle dark subject matter', but because.... Lestat's not really imo the complex character everyone makes him out to be. His behaviour is actually pretty predictable and there's not that much there for me to work with, even as a villain. It's just: sad boy with tragic backstory ends up repeating cycle of abuse that was inflicted on him. Is extremely lonely with an ill temper. Uses dominance to feel in control and to hide his massive insecurities. Is "bad" but secretly has a heart of gold. Mommy/daddy issues. Loves usually only one person more than anything and it's seen as his salvation, but struggles with that relationship because he's emotionally stunted and can't communicate properly. It's something you've seen a million times already. It's what makes the much more layered and harder to grasp characters like Claudia and Armand so much more interesting to me, the vampires who are the most vampire-like of them all, yet ironically get a lot of hate and are mischaracterized from the same people who shout 'they're vampires!', but that's another discussion for another day.

Have you read or watched anything because it was referenced in the show?

I have! I watched Nosferatu, and read Madame Bovary and Marriage in Free Society, although I was going to read Madame Bovary anyway because my little sister heavily recommended it (she massively likes 'unlikeable' female characters and compared her to Anna Karenina, which she didn't like as much due her being too likeable. Which is funny because apparently Tolstoy originally wrote Anna to be an ugly, evil, conniving character who hurt her completely innocent husband and lover and son, but as he was writing, the character became more and more beautiful and sympathetic, and the husband and lover became more incompetent and unkind). I currently have The Doll's House and Nausea next on my list! (I really need to read The Doll's House, it's been on my list since I watched Bojack Horseman lol).

Although this probably doesn't count, because of the after show podcasts, I was inspired to also read The Gilda Stories because they had Jewelle Gomez make an appearance. I ended up being a bit mad afterwards because I soooo wished I read this book in high school, as I was an angry teenager still in the closet then, and this book might have helped me calm down a little lol. There's just something so different and radical about the way Gomez writes her vampires: in a lot of other media, the vampire/monster finally obtains the ability to have cathartic releases of rage due to their isolation/repression and/or abuse, but here, her main character opts for kindness, compassion, and community each time (she still uses violence and murder if needed to defend herself and others, but doesn't let violence consume her entire being). That was very refreshing, having the character be able to do so much damage and take revenge without consequence, yet instead find more fulfillment in the bonds they make with others and refusing to let other people bend her right to actually, well...live.

[banamine-bananime]

opinions on wash? for character bingo ^_^

I do love wash but for me he’s like, blorbo by proxy to soooo much of the fandom that i’m like aight he doesn’t need me there’s other people appreciating him way better than i would anyways. It’s also kind of that “zone of compelling mediocrity vs having nothing to add to a complete concept” thing for me. Like his character arc is arguably executed the best, at least one of the best-executed, in the show, and then any things to elaborate on have been elaborated on so well by so many awesome writers in this fandom that i’m like *thumbs up* tight story I have nothing to say. But since i don’t talk about him much i’ll take this opportunity to just list things i do love about wash:

really funny guy in both intentional dry sarcasm ways and unintentional ways through being so fucking… how to describe it… sort of a Stoic Military Man who Endures Things and represses Unnecessary feelings and denies himself pleasures when he does not need to do that. He does such weird things and he’s like so serious about it, sighing deeply and resignedly at Yet Another Time The Universe Is Testing Him, yet at the same time recognizes the absurdity in these situations but just… doesn’t take that recognition to the point of removing himself from the situation or refusing to engage and instead he just Endures but also wisecracks about it.

obviously all the epsilon stuff. Man. situationship of all time

LOVE the marathon-winning grudgeholding in a way that he’s entirely silent about it until suddenly he is very not silent about it. guy who CANNOT just fucking let it go but you’ll never realize that until it’s too late. reactive dog with growl violently trained out of them “bites out of nowhere!!!”

going along w that, yay repressed anger issues!!! sorry that’s flippant but i have so much love and sadness and anger for ~Troubled Kids~ railroaded into violent professions and places based on being branded with labels of violent/oppositional/defiant/angry/dangerous instead of being helped. “hey you’re struggling with something that’s making you so angry you can’t contain violence or feel so unsafe that the only defence you’re left with is aggression or feel that you need to make people fear you to feel a little less unrespected and powerless or so that they get a taste of it for once. instead of addressing that i think we can use it. you know how people believe you’re Bad and that you’ll never change and lots of doors are shut to you? well, this one’s wide open and it’s what you’re meant for, as a person who is good at violence and not trusting people. come here and we’ll train it into you some more.” i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: cop-dog-coded motherfucker

really really good juxtaposition of this with being the goofball rookie. i know some people get frustrated with the inconsistency between pfl-recruit-era wash in book-extras vs in the show but to me it really adds something. a guy can both be goofy and have repressed anger. that guy might play up the goofiness trying very hard not to again be railroaded into Being The Crazy Angry Dangerous Kid. he is friendly and wants friends! that guy might also internally chafe at the kind of friendship that exaggerated “i’m not a threat! i’m not a threat! i swear i’m not a threat i’m just a little goofy guy!!” presentation begets. being treated as the dumb hopeless class clown sidekick is demeaning and makes you resentful no matter how hard you’re trying to make yourself think “hey, they’re my friends, this is good, they like me, they’re joking with me so they don’t hate me, this is so much better than being disliked”. and then you’ve got this internal spiral going of fear of your own capacity for anger and resentment -> overcorrect -> more things to resent

YAYYYYYYY JUSTIFIED VILLAIN ARCS MY BELOVED. love s8 washie so much.

as with carolina, really well-executed redemption arc of growing to accept friendship and rest and forgiveness and hanging onto hope that there is something better (frands and luv for them) you can shoot for than just getting revenge. wash: life is just unending cycles of violence forever change my mind. *blues offer him forgiveness and unconditional acceptance* wash: wait. i didn’t know they could do that. brb recalibrating my entire worldview to account for the power of friendship.

i actually don’t like a lot of fandom “wash and cats” content because it often hits kind of a woobification tone i’m not interested in, BUT i love imagery of alleycats, cats with nine lives, cats that always land on their feet (even when they fall off something in the goofiest, most clumsy way possible. wash paradox of dexterity/somehow surviving against all odds and dumb clumsy accidents/bad luck real). cockroach kitty wash : )

otoh my Hot Wash Take is i think sometimes some fans swing the pendulum too far the opposite way from All-Characteristics-Erased-Except-Trauma-And-Protectiveness-And-Cats Woobie Wash. yeah he’s obviously extremely competent but he’s far from the most skilled character in rvb (not his fault the competition is insane) and he is a bit goofy. let him goof up a little i promise it’s okay he’s gonna land on his feet