#but yes yes he wants him back very much thank you

[rafecameroninterlude]

[🍩] soft!dom!rafe x breeding kink x corruption kink😜😜 with hella dirty talk😫

warnings: bambi!reader, innocent!reader, established relationship, making out, heavy petting, pussy slapping, oral (f. receiving), rafe is messyyyyy lol, unprotected sex, rough sex, crying, blood (very little, it’s from a bite lol), breeding, multiple orgasms, rafe slaps you just once, corruption kink, lots of dirty talk, first time, loss of virginity, fingering, finger sucking, hair pulling, slapping, soft aftercare, brief mentions of having kids

a/n: i think i got really carried away with this but breeding kink with bambi was something i wanted to write but was unsure of how to start it lol so thank you so much for this request 🤍

rafe was in heaven right now and he wasn’t even inside of you yet. he kissed you gently, the feeling of your fingers stroking his face while he caged you between his arms was everything he didn’t know he needed. “you show up in this pretty little dress of yours, did you have this planned?” you gasped when you felt his hand snake under the soft material of your dress, his touch skimming over the waistband of your underwear. “no. ‘just wanted to look pretty for you..” you whispered, those doe eyes of yours beaming up at the man on top of you. “you do. you look perfect.” rafe sighed.

slipping his tongue in your mouth, your eyebrows drew together as you couldn’t help but move your hips against the thigh he had between your legs. rafe looked down, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he watched you rut against him. “does that feel good?” he hiked your dress up, wanting a better view of your clothed cunt. you hummed, your skin flushing as rafe concentrated on the way you moved underneath him. hands roaming your body, there wasn’t an inch of you that went untouched. slipping your dress off, rafe marveled at the sight of your bare chest.

despite you two being together for a while, the furthest you two had ever gotten was making out and a little groping here and there, but that was it. rafe had no problem waiting until you were ready to go there. you shivered, the chilly air of rafe’s room making your nipples harden right before his eyes. “fuck, bambi..” he cupped one of your tits, a whimper leaving your lips when he leaned down and took the other in his mouth. “are you okay if i do this?” you glanced down at his hand moving your underwear to the side. meeting his eyes, you nodded. “please.”

rafe watched your face morph into one of full blown pleasure when he gathered the wetness at your entrance and glided the tips of his fingers to your clit. “you’re soaked.” he laughed, making you turn your head away from him out of shyness. grabbing your chin, rafe squeezed your cheeks together and forced you to look at him as his fingers started working your sensitive bundle of nerves. you were instantly trying to draw away from his digits, the motions being far too much for you at once. “shhh, don’t run from it,” he licked a stripe up the column of your throat, “let me watch you.” he smiled teasingly.

you smiled back, only for it to be wiped from your face when he slapped your folds, the sensation making you jolt. despite it stinging for a quick second, you started chasing his hand for more. “you want another one?” he slapped you again, this time making your thighs shake, “my little whore likes that, huh?” you were surprised at the name calling, but even more suprised when you found out you liked it. “talk to me, baby. tell me what you want..” his lips ghosted over yours. rafe had gotten you so wet, you could hear your slick with each stroke of his fingers. “wanna go all the way with you, ray..”

rafe swore he could hear the angels singing. he’s been waiting, anticipating for this day to come. “yeah?” he kissed you, slotting himself between your thighs before pulling away from your cunt. “yes. ‘want you so bad!” you whined, wrapping your legs around his waist. you watched him pop his fingers in his mouth, sucking the remnants of you off of his digits. oh, god. pulling him close, you kissed him deeply, tasting yourself on his tongue. taking your underwears off in one swift movement, you palmed rafe in his shorts, your eyes widening when you felt how large he was in your hand.

“you’ll be fine, baby. i’m gonna take such good care of you..” in rafe’s mind, you had already did this before, but the look on your face was starting to make him think otherwise. his suspicions were confirmed when you looked up at him with watery eyes. “is it going to hurt?” you whimpered, his erection resting heavily on your tummy. rafe studied you for a moment. “you’ve never had sex before?” you shook your head, biting your lip nervously. rafe felt so wrong for being so turned on at the revelation. “have you ever touched yourself?” rafe was on the brink of losing his mind. “no..”

that was it. this man was going to ruin you. “i’m sorry, it’s embarrassing.” you pouted, looking away from him. embarrassing? rafe felt like he could cum right then and there. “that’s not embarrassing at all, baby.” he reassured you, moving away any stray hairs you might’ve had in your face. “you know what that means? that means i get to turn you into my own personal little slut.” his words made butterflies flutter in your stomach. rafe unbuckled his belt, his shorts and boxers now long forgotten. despite being horny out of his mind, rafe still checked to make sure you were okay.

“are you sure about this, bambi?” you watched as he snaked down your body, hooking your thighs to his shoulders. a shaky breath left your lips, your hands intertwining with his as he pressed kisses to your flesh. “yes, i want you-” you were cut off by rafe’s tongue delving into your sweetness. your back arched off of his mattress, your thighs threatening to snap around his head. the only word you could use to describe the noises in rafe’s room was lewd. the slurping, grunting, moaning, it was all hitting you at once that this was actually happening.

rafe was so hard already, his own fist wrapped around his cock as he sloppily lapped at your soaked pussy. he couldn’t get enough. instinctively, you couldn’t help your hips from grinding against his face, your boyfriend doing everything to make you tremble and shake in pure bliss. you freed one of your hands from his grip and trailed it up your chest, squeezing your tit while rafe groaned at the sight. “i haven’t even put any fingers in you, baby, you’re going to be a mess by the time i actually fuck you.” you cried out when he sucked your clit, his middle finger prodding at your entrance.

gasping at the intrusion, rafe shushed you as you whimpered at the unfamiliar stretch. “how are we doing, sweetheart?” he looked up at you, cursing under his breath. you were so fucking tight, he could only imagine how you’d feel wrapped around his cock. “..hurts a little.” you took a breath, moaning when he curled his digit. “it’ll feel good soon, i promise baby. ‘gonna make you cum so fucking much.” he continued working on your clit, the added stimulation making your eyes screw shut. rafe waited until you were gasping his name before entering a second finger.

you practically screamed, your hands shooting down to dig your nails into his skin. “rafe, i think i’m!-” you froze, your eyes rolling back as you felt a wave of euphoria wash over you. it was unlike anything you had ever felt before. suddenly you couldn’t breathe, your mouth falling open in a silent moan before your legs started to shake. rafe knew you were cumming and it only made him go rougher on you, wanting your first orgasm to be unforgettable. inserting a third finger, your eyes shot open as you thrashed against his sheets, your body trying to retract from him.

“r-rafe, s’too much! i can’t!” your words came out choppy with each breath you tried to take, your boyfriend eventually bringing you down from your high. you had tears rolling down your cheeks, your entire body feeling like jelly as rafe came up from between your thighs. the lower half of his face, and even the tip of his nose, was glistening with your slick. rafe had given you a taste of something you soon felt like you couldn’t get enough of. rafe grabbed a handful of your hair, forcing you to look down where he lined his cock up with your entrance.

you met each other’s eyes, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding, before he slammed into you, both of you having two different reactions. while rafe doubled over, absolutely enthralled by how tight you were, you were crying, your nails leaving crescents in rafe’s side. you were only able to take half of his length, but rafe was determined to give you the whole thing by the time he was done. while the feeling wasn’t exactly painful, you just felt so full. rafe took your lips in a searing kiss, pulling out before thrusting into you again. “you feel so fucking good, you know that?” he praised you.

rafe started thrusting into you until any sense of discomfort melted away. “oh my god, look at you taking me so fucking well..” rafe whispered against your skin, littering your neck and chest with kisses. wrapping your arms around his neck, you didn’t hold back from moaning underneath him. “rafe go faster, please!” your boyfriend smiled, pulling away momentarily to see that dark look in your eyes. “whatever you want, baby.” you cried out when his hips slammed into your own, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. “oh, rafe..” you shuddered, now that you were filled to the brim.

“you’re so perfect, you want this dick everyday?” you nodded frantically, not seeing how you could go without it now. “yeah? i bet you do..” he laughed, “‘been wanting to corrupt you since i got you, baby. your sweet little innocent eyes looking up at me when i would rub you through your panties, you have no idea how bad i wanted to get you naked and fuck you until you were crying for me to stop.” he slapped your cheek, a gasp leaving your lips at the action. “look at you now, you’re gonna be begging for this all the time.. ‘might just fuck a baby into you, huh?” you whimpered at his words.

“i want that.” you panted, his pubic bone slamming down on your clit with each thrust. “yeah? you want me to fill you up? get you all pretty and pregnant?” god, what was happening to you? “yes, ray! i want it so bad, ‘want your babies!” now it was rafe’s turn to get hysterical, the idea of you growing round with his seed turned him on beyond belief. “fuck!” he grunted, “oh, i wanna see that so bad, ‘want you walking around tanneyhill with your tummy full. everyone will know what we did.. what you let me do to you.” rafe didn’t care if it was the heat of the moment making you two talk like this, he just knew that you were it for him.

“how about i breed you right now, bambi? you want that?” he hoped you’d say yes, considering he wasn’t going to last very long. when he felt you wrap your legs around his waist, locking him in, he nearly lost it by how turned on he was that you wanted the same thing. “please give it to me!” you cried, your boyfriend pulling you into his chest where he embraced you, making you unable to move away from him. you buried your face in his neck, biting down on his flesh as his hips stuttered, shooting hot, thick ropes of cum inside of you. you relished in the feeling, your walls milking him for all that he had.

“son of a- fuck! you’re squeezing me so fucking hard.” he shivered, the feeling of you gripping him from the base was undeniably the best thing he’s ever felt. reaching down, rafe rubbed hard circles on your clit until you came around him, only making you spasm even more. after you had raked your nails down his torso, and drew blood from biting him so hard, rafe had pulled out of you with a hiss, not a single drop of cum dribbling out. you had taken it all. “holy shit, are you okay, babe?” you looked spent. droopy eyes, swollen lips, tear stained cheeks, rafe thought you couldn’t get any more prettier than this.

you spotted the bite mark on his neck. “ray, you’re bleeding..” you attempted to sit up but failed pathetically when your arms gave out from under you. “s’okay.. stay right here, i’ll be right back.” you were dazed, your vision hazy as rafe went to grab a cold towel. when he came back, the blood from the curve of his neck was gone and he wrapped you in his sheets. dabbing the towel on your forhead, you suppressed a giggle at his ministrations. “i’m okay, rafe.” you pecked his cheek, grabbing his arm so he could spoon you. pressing a kiss to your temple, he massaged soothing circles into your side.

“you were so good for me, baby..” he whispered, his words making your heart flutter in your chest. “you promise i wasn’t some amateur?” rafe shushed you, a laugh tumbling from his mouth. “no way, you were great. i don’t know how we’re gonna get through a day without ravaging each other.” you hummed, already daydreaming about the next time. “did you mean what you said earlier? about wanting a baby?” rafe turned you around so you were face to face. you trailed a finger down his jaw. “well, i’ve always wanted kids..” you smiled. “with me though?” rafe’s eyes softened when you nodded.

“with only you..”

[miabebe]

Camp Seventeen: Chapter 1

Pairing - Afab!reader x ot13 (OC x 1 member? 1.5 members? 2 members? Idk man, please read and let me know)

Word count - 13K

Genre - Greek Demigod AU! We’ve got crack, smut (tags for the chapter are under the cut), fluff , angst, hurt, comfort, all of it in this series, buckle up!

Chapter summary - It's been a week since you stepped foot in Camp Seventeen - as you navigated the days trying to wrap your head around the 13 boys, one's touch and another's voice start to become a bit too bothersome....

A/n - And the series has finally kickstarted! Please read the prologue before this! I won't be revealing which member/s is in each chapter, I want you guys to find out as you read so I hope you have fun :) Big thanks to @okiedokrie and @c-oupsie for helping beta read this, y'all are the sweetest <3

I do have a taglist so comment/DM/send an ask to be added! And if you enjoyed reading, please don't forget to leave feedback in the comments or tags - we've got lots of chapters to go and hearing thoughts really helps <3

Smut warnings - mutual masturbation, fingering, use of a very questionable dildo, is this considered cheating? Idk it's all blur here, jerking off, cum feeding, cum eating and I hope that's all?

“Fucking hell.” 

You mumbled, waking up the same way you had been for the last one week - startled and nearly jumping off your bed. 

While most people began their days to the ringing of alarm clocks (or roosters if they preferred the countryside), you regularly woke up to the sound of Seungcheol’s eagle screeching in your ear. 

Turning your head, you glanced at Zephyr perched on the window before it gave you a short nod of acknowledgement and flew off into the darkness. Yes darkness, because unlike most people, your day also began at 4 fucking am in the morning. 

Groaning and stretching, you sat up, holding back the large yawn that was threatening to pull you back to sleep. If Zephyr was here to wake you up, that meant you were late yet again and you hated that - you had done too many walks of shame to the training field and were in no mood to be conspicuously stared at by 13 boys as you stumbled over, carrying all your gear. 

Knowing you didn’t have enough time to drop by the washroom, you popped a mint and sprayed some deodorant before quickly grabbing your things and running out into the darkness. 

The sun was just starting to peek from between the mountains as the House Of Zeus became smaller and smaller behind you. Although you had a long list of concerns living with Seungcheol, an unbeatable advantage was how close his residence was to the training grounds. Still, you could somehow never manage to be punctual. By the time you reached, you were 15 minutes late and Seokmin had already begun the morning drills. 

“Two laps around the field newbie.” He muttered as you walked past him, habituated to receiving the same punishment everyday. 

While you begrudgingly jogged around the perimeter of the grounds, your mind wandered to everything and nothing that happened over the past few days. 

Life at camp so far had been…. strange. 

You would be lying if you said you were already accustomed to life here. You most certainly were not. And forget a week, not even a year could prepare you for what living in the wild was like. 

To begin with, there was no electricity here. That’s right, no lights, no air conditioning, no Internet, nothing. 

Member’s began their days at sunrise and ended it as sunset - after all nothing much could be done in the dim illuminance of the fire torches scattered all around the base. So of course for you, who functioned best from 1 to 3am, this archaic way of life was highly inconvenient. 

The only place that had even a trace of something technologically advanced was the Great Hall - some of the more brainy boys had managed to set up a small circuit for kitchen appliances, laundry machines, a small charging station and that was about it. Rumor was that Wonwoo's residence had its own circuit too, but no one could really confirm that intel - it was as though none of them had ever ventured into the House of Hades. 

And as though the lack of scientific inventions was not enough, showers…..were communal. Apparently it made more sense that water lines were directed to one common bath house rather than to each individual house. For them it was definitely more convenient to have the baths, jacuzzi and sauna all in one place, but for you that meant waiting everyday after training for the whole lot of them to be done washing up before you could do the same, with some privacy. 

Oh and speaking of privacy, in the last week you spent here, you had come to realize that in this all-boys-greek-mythology world, it was privacy that was the real myth. Obviously after years of living together the boys were close but sometimes, they were perhaps a tad bit too close - like the time you had walked in on Mingyu and Seokmin boxing in just their underwear or when Soonyoung and Seungkwan sat right next to you, loudly comparing their dick sizes. You usually drew the line at phallic discussions.

The one place on camp that perhaps gave you some alone time and space away from the mess that the boys were, was the library. Considering you had shifted the last year of your University to an online study, you had a shit ton of assignments to complete and that was the only place you were able to get anything done at all. It was like the boys didn’t even know the study building existed - no one cared enough to go there so yeah, maybe occasionally, you also allowed yourself to let down your hair, sing in your horribly off pitch voice and dance to beats from your walkman. Outside those four walls it was impossible for you to feel even a little peace and quiet. 

Surprisingly, not even the temple, which one would think would be a place of sanctity, was spared from the deviant actions of the boys. The altar was less a place of worship and more a place for bargains and exchange deals - it was the only way to connect to the gods, aka, the parents in Olympus. 

You had come to learn that just like the human world, not all God parents loved their kids the same - some members were regularly showered with gifts and goods, others would not receive so much as a response. You found yourself falling in the second half. Your father never cared for you in the human world and apparently, neither did your mother. 

Brushing off the thoughts of the woman you had thought was dead for the last 25 years, you wrapped up your punishment and joined the boys for morning exercises, ready to start yet another tiring day. 

“All done!” 

Joshua gave you a sweet smile as he stepped out of the bath house, rubbing the towel into his wet hair. Thanking him softly, you walked into the showers, stripped out of your clothes and turned on the hot water. The mud that Minghao had you rolling in today as part of combat training washed off as the heat worked to soothe your aching muscles. Lathering shampoo onto your scalp, you finally felt yourself relaxing, letting your favorite citrus smell take over your senses. Outside the bath house, you could hear Seungcheol raising his voice, instructing all the members to head for breakfast, loud footsteps following his words. 

Choi Seungcheol….. Living with him so far had been frustrating. 

When you first stepped into his residence, you told him that you’ve always lived alone so it might take you a while to adjust to living with someone and Seungcheol seemed to inwardly decide that giving you space was his life's purpose. After that, whenever you appeared before him, he politely greeted you and walked away. Whenever you stood as much as two feet near him he took a step back, like he didn't want to intrude on your personal space. Whenever you sat in his vicinity, he excused himself stating he'll give you some ‘me-time’. 

You wish he knew how much you were in fact craving for the exact opposite - You wanted Choi Seungcheol. God you so badly wanted him. 

It wasn't like you could just make a move on him because 

1.Hell no you didn't want him or anyone in this camp to realise just how (as Jihoon called it) thirsty you were and 

2. Seungcheol wasn’t just anybody, he was the leader. Members bowed to him when he walked by, even the companions, specially Patricia who listened to no one, obeyed him - anything and everything on this camp premises held him at the highest regard. You couldn't just walk up to such a man and tell him, “hey, you're hella hot and I'm hella attracted to you, I wish you would ravage me.”???? 

All you could hope was that Seungcheol somehow approached you on his own but that seemed questionable given the clear line he had drawn between the two of you. 

The one person you wished would actually draw a line was the first one to always cross it - Yoon Jeonghan. You knew he and Seungcheol were the same age and that they were close but you didn't understand just how close they had to be for Athena's son to barge into the leaders residence whenever he wanted? Even at times you were changing your clothes or lying casually on the bed in your night dresses that barely covered anything. 

The most infuriating part was Jeonghan did not ever apologize - he'd just laugh and walk away and you wanted to do nothing more than throw a shoe at him. For some reason he enjoyed getting on your nerves, he enjoyed making you angry and it wasn’t just you - in the last one week, it was evident that Jeonghan was a pain in everyone's ass but somehow they all adored him? You didn't get why they all seemed to love a man who always liked to pull their leg, never leaving any chance to fool them with his wit - you assumed they just preferred to be on his good side so all his harmless fun remained harmless. 

Even Joshua, who was one of the sweetest people you knew, seemed to have a soft spot for Jeonghan. 

When you asked him why he said before Jeonghan joined camp, Seungcheol was very uptight and ran the camp like a military barrack - it was the former’s pranks and carefree attitude that allowed members to be at ease. Though he was talking about Jeonghan, you knew what Joshua’s words truly reflected were his own good nature. He just seemed like the kind of guy who could do no wrong - like a pure, sweet soul. The days after you first arrived at camp it was Joshua who showed you around, guided you with everything and tried to make you feel at home. No one else really tried to get to know you as a person - they were all more interested about how and why you landed in their camp. 

It also helped that Joshua was extremely pleasant on the eyes - at times when you didn’t want to feel overburdened by thoughts, you loved to sit next to him and watch him work on his little craft for the day or write that new novel of his. Yes he was good looking and yes when he smiled, you felt dazzled, but it was his sweet disposition that made you choose his company over the other members.

On the days he would go off to the city for some work, the next best place you found yourself was on Jun’s farm. Not that he was particularly nice to you or anything, Jun was…. quiet. He seemed to always do his thing, not bothering anyone, only speaking when required. When the evenings rolled around, you liked to take Natalie on a walk to visit the man she had a big fat crush on. Honestly though, who wouldn’t have a crush on someone like Jun - though he was the one working in the fields, it was you who was sweating, just watching him. 

Although you did want to talk to him, try to get to know him a little bit, you chose not to - as someone who enjoyed the peace and quiet, you decided to let at least some member offer you that because guys like Soonyoung sure as hell could not. 

Soonyoung was…….. A teenager stuck in a man’s body. Oh yeah he was hot as hell - just the nice build with muscles popping in all the right places. He knew how to dress better than most people on camp too - if you had seen him somewhere else, you would have thought he was one of those cool kids you always saw on campus. 

But that image of him was destroyed the moment he sat on a Leopard and insisted it was a tiger. Over the last week, that was the predominant discussion between the two of you. That and his incessant flirting. Or rather, attempt to flirt. All he came across was cheesy, kinda humorous and loud. Extremely loud. 

Wonwoo on the other hand was as silent as the night. 

Most of the time you didn’t even know if and when he was around, it was like he was non-existent. The members too didn’t seem to bother much with what he did - you noticed he didn’t wash up with the others, often hitting the showers after you were done. He never came for any meals on time, he always stayed back, even after all the members dispersed for the day - he just seemed to function however he liked and no one questioned him. He never questioned you either - Not once did Wonwoo ever attempt to make conversation with you or even meet your eye. It was like he couldn’t care less and that wasn't very pleasant for you. 

Someone who seemed to care a lot though, was Jihoon. Oh Jihoo was quiet too, but somehow he had his eyes on everything. Everything you did, everything you saw, even everything you felt seemed to find its way into Jihoon’s radar - he just knew. It terrified you that he was able to see right through you but the good thing about Jihoon was that he generally kept his mouth shut and wasn’t too keen on discussing his observations. Regardless, his presence made you feel extremely conscious and a part of you often tried to not be alone with him, lest he could read your mind or something. 

As the last of the soap rinsed off you, you turned off the water and grabbed your towel, patting yourself down. Your body was sore and aching all over - Minghao said that was because you were not used to such combat routines and in a few months time you would get used to it but you weren’t really sure if you had it in you to tolerate all this for that long. 

You also still had no idea what exactly these skills were needed for but from the conversations you overheard, it sounded like some sort of competition? That was both unlikely and terrifying cause who really competed with swords and spears anymore but if it was true, then what the actual hell??? Minghao said he didn’t want to scare you with the details just yet and would explain everything when the time came. For now, you were to focus on building your core strength and basic self defense, in case the camp is ever attacked…. Yes, cause that is less scary, way to make one feel better. 

But that was the thing about Minghao - he did not have the habit of sugar coating things. He was honest with his feedback no matter how rude it sounded and though sometimes it did make you feel like shit, he also made sure to push you to do better. You knew if there was anyone you could approach for a real, unbiased opinion, it was him. 

The same could not be said for Mingyu though - everything that came out of his mouth was saccharine sweet to the point it actually annoyed you. There was no doubt he was a nice guy - he was handsome, goofy, really good with his hands, really really good with his brain but the same didn’t extend to his mouth. His style of getting your attention was to ceaselessly seek validation and unfortunately for him, you weren’t really someone who was great with words of affirmation. When he was not trying so hard to please though, Mingyu was truly the biggest sweetheart with the fattest, most caring heart you had ever come across - the kind one wanted to wrap in bubble wrap and tuck away safely. 

Seokmin too fell in the same category - the type who was so precious, it was hard to believe people like him even existed. The only reason you were able to survive these few weeks of training despite coming late was because Seokmin had your back every time Seungcheol wasn’t watching - allowing you to take breathers, overlooking the fact that you were doing less sets than you were supposed to, things of that sort. He was always sweet and calm, giving you soft smiles and sweet eye crinkles. 

With his members though, Seokmin was a whole different person - he was unnaturally loud, extremely energetic and all over the place. The problem was, you didn’t know which of the two was the real him. You weren’t really sure why but something told you Seokmin wasn’t the man he seemed like and a strange curiosity coursed through you every time you interacted with him. 

Seungkwan on the other hand was the exact opposite, he was exactly what he seemed like - always annoyed, unabashedly honest and unnecessarily snarky. In a way, you understood him - Seungkwan had the habit of taking on many things at once and keeping him unbelievably busy. In university, you too were like this - you took extra modules, signed up for multiple clubs, worked an internship alongside a couple of part time jobs and more. You liked to be occupied, to not allow yourself the room to think about what your life could have been otherwise. Maybe that’s why you saw yourself in Mr. Busy Boo - always roaming around with that bluetooth in his ear, attending some meeting or the other, frequently heading to the city to get work done - ‘rest’ was just not a word in his dictionary.

But even amidst all this business and even though his automated response was to snap back at people, he still managed to bond really well with the members despite having joined the camp only a few months before you had. It was like they all needed him to be their constant reality check. 

The one who you thought required his presence more than anyone was Hansol. A man like him whose entire personality was avoidant needed someone like Seungkwan who would drag him into everything forcibly. Hansol wasn’t like Wonwoo, who was unbothered, couldn’t care less and pretended like you didn’t exist. Hansol was well aware of your presence and chose to actively avoid you every time - if you remembered right, there were even instances when he had practically run away from you. Something was just weird about that guy. 

Perhaps the most normal of them all was Chan - actually he was just as loud and consistently blabbering much like some of the others but something about him made you feel very fond of him. Sure he was the same age as you but he felt like a child, always babied by his members, always grinning like a cheshire cat. And consequently, you too naturally babied him and Chan too enjoyed it - the two of you were perfectly content with your dynamic. 

If only you got that same feeling with everyone else……

As you grabbed your things and stepped out of the bath house fully dressed, Wonwoo was standing outside with a towel slung on his shoulder, scrolling through his phone. Without so much as looking at you, he walked past you, into the shower room, loudly shutting the door behind him. 

“Can you ever be on time?” Jeonghan sighed, handing you a plate of pancakes as you looked around realizing everyone was nearly done with breakfast. “It’s not my job to wait your table every morning.” 

“Until you lot arrange for me to have my own shower,”  You grabbed an apple, taking a bite into it as you sat at the extra long dining table. “I’m afraid this is exactly how late I will be everyday.” 

“You know what they say sweetie,” Soonyoung whisked the apple from your hand, taking a bite of his own. “If you can’t beat the crowd, join the crowd.”

You looked at him exasperatedly, knowing that he was just talking out of his ass. Maybe if it was someone else you'd be offended but seeing his childlike face and full cheeks, you were only mildly amused. 

“I'm more of the ‘don't join the crowd, let it follow you’ kinds.”

“Oh I'd follow you anywhere Y/n.” He sighed dreamily as you laughed, taking a bite out of your pancakes that were still too hot. 

“How about you start following your own girlfriend instead Kwon?” Minghao walked around the kitchen island shooting Soonyoung an unimpressed look. “Rumour is that she was seen outside the Dreamboys Disco and we all know exactly what one goes there for.”

“She's not my girlfriend anymore.” Soonyoung muttered. “We broke up.”

“Weren't you just planning an anniversary trip two days ago?” Seokmin looked at him quizzically. 

“Yeah then we argued over a location and she said it was better we broke up for a while.” 

“This is what, your third breakup this month?”

“Fifth.” He whispered sadly in a way that made you want to pat his back. “Sixth actually, if you count the one that lasted for 3 hours.” 

“I'll never understand these on again off again kind of relationships.” Seungkwan clicked his tongue, hurriedly grabbing a banana, balancing all the files in his hand. “The only thing it screams to me is disrespect.” 

“Okay Mr. Seung-I-am-the-son-of-Hera-and-marriage-is-the-way-of-life-Kwan” Soonyoung rolled his eyes. “Not every traditional relationship is healthy, and not everything unconventional is toxic.”

“Yes, except yours is both unconventional and toxic.” Seungkwan scoffed, raising his hand before Soonyoung retaliated. “I can’t care enough right now, tiger boy, I’m already late. We can reschedule your relationship counseling session sometime later.” 

“How about never?” Soonyoung grumbled as Seungkwan rushed off, attending a call on his bluetooth. “Who’s idea was it for him to join the camp again?” 

“Mine.” Seungcheol slid onto the seat across you, raising an eyebrow. “Is there a problem?” 

“Nope.” Soonyoung shook his head fast. “Absolutely not.”

Smirking just a little, Seungcheol turned to you, sliding a couple pieces of chicken breast off his plate onto yours. “You need to eat more Y/n, that little won’t last you through the day.” 

“Same goes for you..” Jeonghan mumbled, placing a bottle of protein shake near Seungcheol who gave him a grateful smile. From the corner of your eye, you saw Jun increase the portion of chicken to buy on the huge shopping list scribbled on the white board.

If there was anything you absolutely loved about this camp, it was the brotherhood. No matter what each member was like individually, as a team, they loved and cared about each other immensely. You weren’t really sure if and when they could extend the same for you but having lived alone nearly all your life, a part of you craved to be one of them, to be cared for like that. 

“I won’t be able to make it for the meeting tonight.” Wonwoo, as usual, strolled in much later than you and no one, as usual, had any complaints with that. In fact rather uncharacteristically nicely, Jeonghan handed him breakfast, shooting him a worried look.

“Why, what’s wrong?” 

“I need to drop by the headquarters today.” He sighed, sitting a couple of seats away from you. “There’s an important official coming and apparently my presence is needed.” 

“Will you be back by nightfall?” Seungcheol asked, looking concerned. You knew why he was worried - if Wonwoo wasn’t there on camp grounds at night that meant all the members had to take their places on the perimeter to guard overnight. Sleep was not an option that night. 

“Yeah,” Wonwoo replied, not looking up. “I will just have to miss out on the meeting for the lawsuit.” 

Right that meeting. The one you, Jeonghan and Wonwoo, had been trying to have for days now to sort out the biggest mess of your life. 

“Shouldn’t be a problem, Nonu.” Mingyu patted his shoulder, shooting you a wink. “Y/n has other plans with me today anyways.” 

You frowned confused as Mingyu clarified. “You were going to finalise your house plan so I could start construction, remember?” 

Oh yeah, you had that too. 

“Awesome, then I can go to the city today.” Jeonghan clapped cheerily, taking his apron off. 

“You don’t work today though…..” Jun muttered, looking at the shortage in the lunch boxes he had packed. 

“Don’t worry about food, I got some friends to meet over lunch.” The older man shot him a two-fingered salute before jogging out of the dining hall, earning Seungcheol’s tired sigh. 

“I can never keep up with him-” 

“Cab leaves in five!” Chan shouted, poking his head through the window. 

The members around immediately stuffed the last of their breakfast, grabbing their things hurriedly, rushing out to get the front seat in Chan’s car. Afterall, the ones behind had to squeeze to fit themselves in and the one hour bumpy ride to the city was not fun. From their collective groans though you could tell Jeonghan had called shotgun - the asshole was lucky as usual. 

Seungcheol downed the last of his breakfast with a fond laugh before turning to you. 

“Have a nice day Y/n, I’ll see you later.” 

You tried not to smile back at him too widely as your eyes followed him leaving the premises. When you turned back to your meal, you could feel a set of eyes keenly looking at you. Looking up, you saw Jihoon staring at you with a small smirk, his expression all knowing. Gulping, you excused yourself from there. 

You stared at the blueprint before you, humming skeptically. 

“Are you still not happy with the design?” Mingyu sighed, crossing his arms. 

“I don’t know.” You drawled. “Something about it feels….off.” 

“Something about your own design that you made for your own house feels off?” 

“Gyu.” Joshua chastised, standing up from the couch and walking over to you. “Artists second guess their work all the time, have some patience.” 

“I am patient.” The bigger man pointed. “But she’s unbelievably indecisive.” 

“I know, I’m sorry.” You looked up at Mingyu guiltily. “It’s just, I’m wondering if having a bathroom in my residence is a good idea or if I should just have another small one built by the bath house? I mean think about it - my residence is so far from the training grounds and the dining hall, if I had to walk all this distance everyday, I’m only going to be more late-” 

“I get it.” Mingyu patted your back. “I get your concerns but the sooner we finalize this, the sooner I can get to building it and the sooner you can get out of Seungcheol’s house and into your own space.” 

Ahhh. 

Right. 

A part of you was thankful that Jihoon wasn’t a part of this discussion otherwise he would’ve seen right through your subtle attempts to delay this process. You didn’t want to be an inconvenience on purpose but….. You were just a girl and you wanted to get to know Cheol a little better. It didn’t help that he was barely ever at home, leaving at the crack of dawn for training and only returning very late at night, after he finished attending night school doing that stupid astronomy degree of his. The only time you ever got with him was on Sunday because members did not train on Sundays - everyone was free to do whatever they wanted. And you wanted to do Cheol. 

So far you only had the chance to spend one weekend alone with him and maybe just maybe if you pushed your house construction a little you’d have the chance for another weekend or two. Then perhaps, you’d be able to take this unresolved, unnecessary tension with him somewhere. 

“How about you take a few days and work on your plan again Y/n?” Joshua rolled up the large paper carefully, handing it to you. “Whenever you’re ready let me and Mingyu know - we’ll try and figure out the materials, budget, feasibility and all that.” 

“It’s times like this I miss Jeonghan’s brain.” Mingyu clicked his tongue, disappointed. “Where did he say he was off to again?” 

“When does he ever tell us?” Joshua mumbled. “He should be back by nightfall though. Jun said he needed help with the fertilizer composition and Han told him he would help.” 

“Wow, he’s capable of being useful.” You rolled your eyes, stashing the blueprint into your bag. Mingyu and Joshua laughed, amused.

“Jeonghan is always useful..” 

“We still haven’t managed to figure out a thing about my lawsuit and my hearing is in a few weeks-” 

“Han and Wonwoo will sort it out Y/n, don’t worry.” Joshua rubbed your arm comfortingly. “They’re the best one can ask for.” 

“Yeah except I can’t seem to ask Jeonghan for anything cause he’s a little bitch or ask Wonwoo anything because for that he would need to realise that I exist and I don’t think he does.” 

“Wonwoo hyung is….” Mingyu trailed off. “He’s a little hard to understand. Just give him some time. Once you figure him out, you’ll know why he’s like this.”

Exasperated, you shook your head and walked away. Time was the one thing you never seemed to have. 

Like always, as the sun began setting you glanced out of the window of the library catching sight of the varied hues in the sky. On the camp ground you could see Mingyu riding his big mechanical bull, lighting up the fire torches around for the night. Pulling out the lighter from your bag, you stared at the candles stacked in the middle of the table. 

Sighing you cast the lighter aside and snapped your fingers, watching the flames come to life in your hand, dancing across your palm. Stretching your fingers, and moving your hand around, you watched the orange yellow light just glide across your skin like it was a pretty accessory and not literal fire that should have obliterated your hand by now. 

Fire never did burn you - how could it when a mere thought could make it come alive in your hands. You first discovered this when you were 16 and accidentally dunking your hand in a pot full of boiling water did not leave so much as a scar. Even though you were unscathed you roamed around for a few days with a fully bandaged hand - the world would have thought you were some sort of freak otherwise. Over the years you tried to play with fire in many ways, just to test your limits, just to see how far you could go and each time, much to your own dismay, the limit didn’t exist. Each time proved just how much you didn’t fit in the world, just how much you deserved to be alone because you really were a freak. 

But that was until a few weeks ago. 

Until you discovered it wasn’t the inability to burn that was the true madness - it was your ability to create fire itself. 

From there things spiraled. You learnt you weren’t the anomaly but a part of a rather large group of such circus acts - a world completely hidden from your own. In a cascade of events you were thrown into camp seventeen out of no will of your own and now, this was your life, this was your world. 

Holding your flaming hand over your redrawn sketches you glanced at them. Thanks to the two boys yet again canceling the meeting with you, you found yourself working in the library earlier than usual, exhausted by the time the sun set. As you debated between working a little more or heading back, the door opening with a slow creak made the decision for you - if it was windy outside, it was most likely going to rain and you didn’t want to stay long enough to get drenched. Quickly dousing the flame and blowing out the candles, you grabbed all your things and saw your way out. 

In the darkness, the camp was quiet as usual. You figured most of the members must’ve retired to their residences for the night and when you reached the House of Zeus, surprisingly, so had Seungcheol. 

“Y-you’re home.” You stuttered, watching the shirtless man, doing sit ups in the middle of the living room in the dim golden light of the paraffin lamps. 

Evidently Seungcheol hadn’t expected your presence so soon either because at the sound of your voice, he got up with a jerk, pulling a muscle in his abdomen. 

“Cheol oh my god-” 

“You’re early.” He got up wincing, holding the side of his trunk. “I’m sorry I should have been doing this in my room-” 

“I mean, the whole house is yours-” 

“There’s a heavy rain forecast today, not really much astronomy I can do-” 

“Yeah I came back because of the rain too-” 

“Yeah me too….” Seungcheol trailed off realising how silly he sounded. 

Grabbing his shirt from the floor, he attempted to put it on, groaning miserably at the pain shooting up his abdomen. Watching him struggle, you quickly dropped your things and tried to reach for him to help out, but just as your finger barely grazed over his skin, he stumbled back like he was electrocuted, pushing your hand away. 

“Don’t touch me.” 

“Cheol…. “ You frowned, confused. “I was just trying to help-” 

 “Seungcheol.” He corrected. “And I don’t need your help Y/n. Please just…. stay away from me.” 

You blinked at a complete loss of words at his unwarranted behaviour. Unsure about how you felt, you grabbed your bag from the floor, turned on your heel and walked out silently, the same way you came in. 

As usual, bad luck had followed you on your way out. 

Not only was your life miserable, the weather too decided to be a pain in your ass and it started drizzling the moment you stepped out of Seungcheol’s house. 

Even though the water was cold and you were shivering, you took off in the rain. You needed to get as far away from here as you could. 

You were such a fool. You should have known that Seungcheol wasn’t being nice or giving you your space, on the contrary he was keeping his distance, putting you at an arm’s length. It was evident today - not only was he uninterested, but somehow it seemed like your very presence was disturbing him in some way. 

And there was you who was always desperately wishing for the smallest interaction with him.. What an idiot. 

Hugging yourself, you walked further down the cobbled path. Tomorrow you were going to finalise your house plan with Mingyu and get out of Cheol’s house as soon as possible. But as much as you wanted to avoid him and pull yourself away, a part of you was still aching at the loss of something that you believed had a lot of potential. Why did it have to be him of all people? Why couldn’t it have been someone like Mingyu - he was hot as hell and unlike his leader, he actively showed interest in you all the time. 

As you raised your head, Mingyu’s house loomed before you and your feet, as if they had a brain of their own, took you towards his mini mansion of a residence. That was until you saw Jihoon stepping out of the same place and instinctively took a swift u-turn. 

The last person who could see you right now was Jihoon - that man would read you like an open book and know exactly how fucking embarrased you were. Hoping to god he didn’t spot you, you quickly ran, entering the nearest gate for temporary refuge, till you got out of his sight. 

But in hindsight, perhaps falling in Jihoon’s line of vision was better than the situation you had landed yourself in….. You weren’t really sure who’s house you had trespassed until the low growling expressed just how much his companion disliked it. 

Horang. 

Realising you had quite literally thrown yourself into the den of a wild cat, you froze, praying that it didn’t notice you and you could slip out as easily as you slipped in. But before you could do anything, a hand grabbed you quickly, leading you into the neighbouring cottage, shutting the door behind you. 

“Are you insane?” Soonyoung looked at you confused, shaking the water off his hair. “Why would you enter Horang’s enclosure unless you wanted to be ripped apart.” 

“I didn’t know….” You rubbed your arms, generating heat. “I was just….trying to escape the rain.” 

“You should have knocked on my door then..” He muttered, disappearing for a split second, returning with a towel in his hand. “Horang isn’t used to you yet so please don’t venture near my tiger in my absence - he only listens to me.” 

You tried not to hyperfixate on the inappropriate labeling of Horang in the off chance that an annoyed Soonyoung threw you back out. Instead, you accepted his towel, patting yourself dry, still shivering a little. With his hands on your shoulder, Soonyoung led you to the fireplace, guiding you to sit on the couch across. As you did, you glanced around his residence.

This was the first time you were in Soonyoung’s place and in all honesty, it looked much like that designated room in college dorms where all the parties happened - he had party lights everywhere, streamers hanging from the ceiling and techno music softly playing over the speakers. 

When you turned back to him, Soonyoung held out a christmas mug, with a grin. “Mulled wine.”

“I can’t.” You shook your head although in the headspace you were in, you could really use some alcohol. “I won’t be able to wake up on time tomorrow.” 

“It’s not like you’ll be on time even if you were sober.” He chuckled, immediately regretting his words as you narrowed your eyes at him. “You’re in the House of Dionysus. This is literally the only hot drink I have to offer.” 

Sighing you took it from him, desperate to have something warm coursing through your body after all that coldness you experienced earlier. 

“So, why are you out and about in the rain?” Soonyoung sank into the couch beside you, sipping a drink of his own. 

“I….just needed to be away from that house for a while.” You mumbled, taking a sip. 

“Why? Has Seungcheol gotten overbearing already?” 

“It’s not him….” 

“It’s always him.” Soonyoung sighed. “But it’s not his fault. He just has a lot of pressure on him to be perfect as a leader, you know? That sort of thing gets to you.” 

“I know. It’s just….. “ You sighed, not knowing how to explain things to him. “Forget it, I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“No, tell me.” He whined making you turn to him, finally noticing he was fully dressed from head to toe like he was about to march right into a party. 

“Are you going somewhere?” 

“Work?” Soonyoung stated like it was obvious. “Don’t tell me you forgot what I do.” 

You looked at him sheepishly. “I’ve been here for just a week Kwon and there’s thirteen of you so I’m sorry if it’s taking me some time.” 

“Forgiven.” He nodded amused. “I own the Midnight club in the city centre.” 

“Right, that big Demigod rave place.” 

“No, the Midnight club is for humans. There’s another club hidden behind it, After Hours - That’s for Demigods exclusively.” 

You let out an oh of realization as Soonyoung continued. 

“Business usually runs fine on its own but I try to drop by from time to time to just remind everyone who the boss is.” 

“I heard there’s a life size portrait of you behind the DJ booth to do the same.” 

“Obituaries are portraits too.” He rolled his eyes. “I need to let them know I am alive, kicking and always in charge.” 

You shook your head laughing. “Well then aren’t you getting late? You should probably leave by now-” 

“I don’t think I’m going.” He mumbled, downing his drink in one shot, red slowly creeping on his face. “Not in the mood.” 

Glancing at him silently, you just blinked at him. You knew guys like Soonyoung could not keep a thing in them - he would share whatever was bothering him without you even asking in three, two, on-

“The intel is that my ex is going to be there tonight.” 

“Ahh.” You crossed your feet on his couch, settling in. “And you don’t want to see her?” 

“I don’t want to see her with other men.” He gripped his mug tight. “With the news out that she’s single, guys will be falling all over her and I know she’s going to play along just to make me jealous.” 

“Well two can play that game right? You can do the same?” 

“What makes you think there are girls fawning all over me?” 

“Do you just want to hear me say you’re hot and that you could pull if you wanted to?” You cocked your head at him. “Cause I can. I have a little wine in me so I can use it as an excuse.” 

Soonyoung laughed, throwing his head back. “No I know I’m hot, but do you know who she is?” 

You shook your head, drinking up more. 

“Aphrodite’s daughter, the femme fatales of the demigod world - boys want her and girls don’t want to mess with her. No one is going to so much as look at her ex, forget trying to hit on me.” 

“Huh.” You pondered, the cogwheels in your brain turning. “Well technically, no one in the human world knows her so I’m sure one of them will-” 

“There’s no point of that. She knows I won’t go for a human.” 

“Why is that?” 

Soonyoung stared back at you a little hard before a small smirk formed on his face. “Y/n, are you a virgin?” 

You blinked, breaking out into a laugh. “I sure am drunk cause I seem to have missed why this intrusive question is relevant now?” 

Taking your empty mug from you, Soonyoung filled it up again from the pot. “What I mean is, demigods don’t sleep with humans sweetie.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because we’re half gods, do you think humans can really satisfy us?” Soonyoung raised his eyebrows. “Mortals can’t keep up with our sex drive.” 

As you looked confused, the smirk returned back to Soonyoung’ face. “Which is why I asked. If you haven’t realised that a mortal man can’t pleasure you, then either you’ve never had sex……. or you’ve never had an orgasm.” 

“I don’t have to answer that.” 

“Come on, humor me.” 

“Maybe I’m starting to get why your girlfriend dumped your annoying ass.” 

Soonyoung pouted, feigning hurt as you rolled your eyes. 

“So now if you want to get her back, you won’t be hit on by another demigod and you can’t be hit on by a human which means your only chance of making her jealous is with……” You looked at him intently. “Kwon Soonyoung, why are your eyes glimmering with mischief?” 

“You.” He took the cup from your hands and set it on the table, much to your dismay. “You’re the only one who she doesn’t know about and the only one who doesn’t know her…..” 

“So?” 

“Oh you’d be the perfect bait.” Soonyoung clapped his hands. “One look at you next to me and she’s going to be quaking in her boots.” 

“If you think I’m about to stroll into a nightclub and pretend to hit on you to make your ex girlfriend jealous you’re sorely mistaken.” 

“Why?” He whined. “Why can’t you do me a small favour. I saved you from Horong-” 

“Number one. If you didn’t pull me into your house, I would have ran out of the gate and been safe anyways-” 

“Sure.” 

“Number two, I don’t know what the hell is in this wine. Normally it takes a whole bottle to knock me down but two glasses in and I’m already buzzed-” 

“It’s a special blend.” 

“And number three, unfortunately for you, women are really observative creatures. One look at me next to you and she’s going to know there’s absolutely nothing going on between us.” 

Soonyoung opened and closed his mouth like he was thinking about what to say. “It won’t work out Kwon.” 

“This always happens.” He sighed. “She breaks it off with me for any small thing, goes on to have her fun, pushes me till I have to beg for her forgiveness and then she accepts it whenever she feels like. Everything is always whenever she feels like it. We haven’t even had sex in like two years-” 

“Okay.” You cut him off before he went into details you didn’t need to know. “If you’re so aware of what she’s doing, why do you always give in to her? Do you really like her or… is she just a habit?” 

“I don’t know.” Soonyoung stared at the floor, lost in thought. “I just know that we’ve been together since we were 18. And I can’t throw that away.” 

“I never knew you were such a romantic Kwon.” 

He laughed, sinking further into the couch. 

“You really want her back huh?” 

“I do.” 

“And this time do you want her to make the effort?” 

“A man can hope.” 

“Well then.” You turned to him. “Point number three was relevant only if she saw me…do you have your phone?” 

Soonyoung nodded, patting his many pockets and finally finding it, holding it out. 

“You're going to call and tell her you're hitting on me?”

“No…. If you give her a missed call will she call back?”

“Not immediately.” He sighed. “She'll take her time to pretend like she didn't see and then get back to me-” 

“Do it.” He continued to look at you confused. “Call her and cut the call.” 

He followed through but the frown didn't leave him the whole time. “Y/n what exactly are you doing?” 

“This may be a bit diabolical but it should do the trick.” You took a deep breath glancing at Soonyoung. “When she calls you back, she's going to hear us having sex.”

“W-what?” 

“Before you get any ideas, I'm not going to have sex with you Soonyoung, we're just going to make her think that we are.”

“How exactly will we do that?”

“We'll fake it.” You shrugged. “Make a couple of wet skin smacking sounds-” 

“and you could moan my name, say how good I'm making you feel.” 

“Didn’t you get onboard this real fast.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “I'm going to make it really clear once again that this is for her not-” 

Ring! 

At the sound of the ringtone both of you glanced at his phone and in a split second, Soonyoung picked up the call, holding it against his ear. Thankful that you got the opportunity to execute your idea so soon and determined to put up the show you promised, you immediately got to it, clearing your throat.

“Fuck yes Soonyoung, that feels so good-” 

With widened eyes and a swift movement, Soonyoung shut your mouth with his hand, shaking his head. 

“Yeah, yeah I remember…..Oh no that was just…. our cow?…..Yes Daisy, she's just having a rough night….. Anyways thanks for the reminder Hyungwon.”

You stared at him mortified, all the wine threatening to exit your system. 

“Yeah sure, see you tomorrow bro.”

Soonyoung brought down both the phone and his hand at the same time. 

“Oh god I’m so sorry, I thought it was-” 

“That’s your idea of having sex??” He looked at you shocked. “Thank god it wasn’t Mina because there was no way in hell she would have believed that?” 

“Hey, I had no preparation time, you try faking it off the bat.” You mumbled. “Besides, it wasn’t so bad.” 

“Wasn’t so bad?” Soonyoung looked scandalised. “Do you even know what you sounded like? Fuck yes Soonyoung, that feels good-” 

You leaned back inching away from him. 

“What the…..what was that?” 

“That's what you said.” 

“I know but” You frowned unsure if you heard right or if you were starting to get too drunk. “You sounded exactly like me. Like your voice, it….it was mine.” 

“Oh.” Soonyoung scratched the back of his head. “Yeah well um being the son of the God of Theater comes with its own skill set. Imitation helps confuse opponents during war - it has actually saved us in quests many times.”

“You can imitate anyone?”

Soonyoung nodded.

“Any sound they make?”

He nodded again as you let out a low whistle. 

“Well that's brilliant, then you don't even need me. You can make your girlfriend jealous by simply impersonating me.” 

“The keyword is imitate. I can only repeat sounds I hear, I can't just make them up.” He shifted in his seat. “So if I should impersonate you, I need to hear what you actually sound like during sex.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Don't push your luck Kwon.”

“I'm kidding.” He laughed leaning back into the couch, his eyes fluttering shut. “But you really have to work on the faking.” 

“Yeah I've been told.” You muttered as Soonyoung sat up again.

“Aha, so you have never had an orgasm!” 

“Because of a man, no I've not.” You confessed. “But bold of you to assume that I'm not perfectly capable of my own.”

Soonyoung looked confused. 

“Ever heard of masturbation, genius?” 

Soonyoung's mouth formed an O of realisation. “Well I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years so I've never had to take care of myself.”

“Don't rub it on my face Kwon.” You scoffed but regretted immediately knowing some dirty joke was going to come out of the man. So shutting his mouth with your hand, you held a finger to your lips. “Not a word. You're going to shut up till your girlfriend calls back.”

“That could be a very very long time.” He mumbled against your hand making you press it harder against his mouth with a shush. 

5 minutes later you were on your fourth mug of wine and Mina still hadn't called. 

10 minutes later, you were nearly falling asleep and Soonyoung was already snoring away beside you. 

15 minutes later the sound of the rain began to get softer outside. 

And 20 minutes later was when you finally lost your patience, shaking Soonyoung awake. 

“It’s getting late, I should go….” 

Soonyoung looked up at you sleepily as you got off the couch, standing up. 

“You should.….. I’m sorry, I shouldn't have roped you into this” He glanced at the blank screen on his phone. “Clearly Mina is either too busy having fun on her own or she doesn’t care.” 

You smiled at him sadly, as he pulled his feet up, snuggling into the couch. 

“I'm so sorry.” You whispered. “Goodnight Kwon.” 

“Goodnight sweetie.”

Setting the mug down, you grabbed your bag and opened his front door, relieved that the rain seemed to have stopped. But something was also stopping you from stepping out. 

Giving it a thought and sighing, you turned around, looking at the half asleep man again. 

“You said you could imitate me right?” 

Soonyoung's eyes slowly fluttered open.  

“So if you listen to how I actually sound, if and when she calls back, you can execute the plan on your own right?”

Soonyoung looked at you in a mix of confusion, drunkenness and sleepiness.

“Are you saying that…”

“No, I'm not going to sleep with you Kwon Soonyoung.”

“But you're horrible at faking.” 

“Yet again I'm going to remind you about masturbation.” 

You sighed, looking at his eternally lost expression. Grabbing his hand, you pulled him off the couch, leading him to his room. 

Soonyoung's room was just how you expected it to be - a mess. There were things scattered everywhere, all kinds of band posters up on the wall, snack wrappers all over the floor. 

He quickly kicked the trash under his bed and looked at you pleadingly. “You cannot tell Mingyu how messy my room is. And you most definitely cannot tell Seungcheol I'm snacking - he does not understand post break up slump.”

You gritted your teeth annoyed to be reminded of him again. Of course he didn't understand anything remotely related to feelings.

“Don't worry, no one's gonna know anything because you too are going to keep your mouth shut about whatever happens tonight.” 

“I still don't know what's happening tonight.” He mumbled as you walked around his room, glancing at everything. 

“I'm going to get myself off and you're going to listen and take notes.” Soonyoung's eyes finally widened in realisation.“Do you have a towel?” 

He nodded, quickly going through the stack of clothes piled on the chair across his bed and pulled out a long white one. Taking it from him you laid it down on his bed, the two of you staring at it mindlessly. 

“Could you also close the curtains?” You fidgeted with your fingers, putting your bag down at the foot of his bed as Soonyoung nodded. “Also dim the lights please.”

Following through your requests he tried not to look at you as you stripped out of your jacket and threw it on the bed. But when you unclasped your bra and pulled it out from under your shirt, Soonyoung was quite literally gawking. 

“I’m hot.” You mumbled as he walked back, standing much closer to you than he was before. 

“Yeah you are…. I mean,” He cleared his throat when you raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah it's a little hot in here.” 

Both of you tried to ignore the sound of cold raining softly falling against the window. 

“On second thoughts,” You took a step back. “I don’t know if I can do this.” 

“W-why not?” 

“If you haven’t noticed I am buzzed as hell and I’m not sure I can do…. a great job on myself right now.” 

Lips slowly curling into a smile, Soonyoung cocked his head. “I can help.” 

“Yes and I can finally use all that combat training and kick your ass. Soonyoung I am not sleeping with-” 

“What? No, no I mean….. just wait here.” 

Your eyes followed him as he jogged out of his room, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You must be crazy to suggest this. Sure there was alcohol in your system and sure you were trying to get your mind off Seungcheol, avoiding going back to his house but this…..

“Here you go.” 

Soonyoung strolled back in with what you could only describe as a wooden looking, very phallic instrument. 

“That’s…” 

He nodded. “A dildo.” 

“I have so many questions.” 

“Let me clarify. Yes I have used a dildo before-” 

“Oh god.” 

“- Although my girlfriend isn’t the biggest fan of it-” 

“This wasn’t my question.” 

“-I do occasionally enjoy it myself.” 

“I don’t think I should be a part of this conversation.” 

“But this dildo in particular, has never been used by either of us before.” 

“That!” You pointed out. “That’s all I needed to know.” 

Soonyoung held it out to you, looking at you expectantly. You gulped. 

“You know, I don’t think I can do this. I’m actually more of a vibrator girl myself.” 

“Now who’s indulging in the TMI?” 

You rolled your eyes. “My point is, I don’t need this, I can just do it myself-” 

“I haven’t even gotten to the story behind this.” He giggled. “This is my father’s.” 

“Aaaand I’m done here.” 

“No what I mean is-” He shuffled closer to you like he was revealing a big secret. “My father may be the god of wine and ecstasy and madness and theatre and so many things but he is also…. the creator of the dildo.” You stared at him vacantly. What?? “I don’t think you wanna know the story behind it, it’s disturbing as fuck-” 

“More disturbing than everything so far?” 

“-but basically, a few years back, my father was temporarily exiled from Olympus and while he was in the human world, he had, what he calls, a magnificent business idea….sex toys. Dildo’s in particular. That’s when he made this.” He held it up and you wished he did it a little less proudly. “This isn’t an ordinary dildo Y/n, no. This baby can take on the shape, size, dimensions and every single tiny detail” He gave a dramatic pause. “Of the person you are imagining while going at it.”

“W-what?” You blinked at him stumped. “You mean to say it…. morphs into a replica of someone’s actual dick?” 

Soonyoung nodded fast. “This piece is a prototype that Dionysus made but when he brought the idea to Zeus it was shut down immediately because Gods aren’t supposed to interfere with human business and all that hoo ha, so he left it with me before he returned home.” With a small smile dancing on his lips, he held it out to you. “So if you want, it's all yours.” 

You stared at it. 

A magic dildo that could take the shape of any dick you wanted? 

You would have to be insane to say no to that. 

Pretending to hesitate just so you didn’t come across completely deranged, you slowly took the toy off Soonyoung’s hand, feeling the weight of it in your own. As you tried to picture how exactly this night might go, Soonyoung took a few steps back, grabbed a fistful of the material behind his neck and pulled his shirt over his head. 

“What?” He smirked as your eyes ran down his chiseled body, mouth moving but no words leaving it. “Didn’t you say it was hot?” 

As Soonyoung moved all the clothes stacked on the chair to the floor and sat down, you watched as the minor oversights in your plan came into play. If he had to take notes,  then Kwon Soonyoung was going to watch you. 

Tongue in the cheek, you glanced around the room, thanking all the gods in Olympus when you spotted a lacy blindfold hanging on the headboard. Without questioning its existence in his room, you quickly grabbed it and threw it at him.

“The deal was for audio Kwon, no visuals.” 

In complete contrast to his hot as fuck appearance he pouted like a child as you shook your head and looked at the blindfold pointedly. Sighing, he reached for it and put it over his eyes, tying it behind his hand. Not trusting him entirely, you walked up to him, slotting yourself between his legs and pulled the knot. Soonyoung’s hands gripped your thighs in both surprise and pain. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled, fingers softly grazing your legs as he pulled his hands away. “I promise, I can’t see a thing.” 

You nodded, then realised he said he couldn’t see and cleared your throat. “Yeah, okay.” 

“Okay.” He breathed, leaning back, waiting expectantly. 

Taking a few seconds, you let out a deep determined breath, preparing yourself for what was coming. As you unbuttoned your jeans, shimmying both your shorts and underwear down your legs, your eyes finally took a good look at the man of the hour, Kwon Soonyoung. Yeah he was one of the members who often trained shirtless which meant you had seen this display many times before but this was perhaps the first time you were actually paying attention to it. Before this, you hadn’t quite realised just how beautifully tanned and toned he was or how much that undercut suited him or how hot he looked biting his lower lip. 

Kicking your garments away, you pried your eyes, reminding yourself that this man was taken. Or at least would be taken again pretty soon. You shouldn’t do this. You shouldn’t be looking at him, you shouldn’t be thinking about him and he sure as fuck cannot be the inspiration for your new magic sex toy. 

That unfortunately meant that there was only one other person in your mind who could be the muse - Choi Seungcheol. Despite his dismissal earlier and despite being someone who held herself as a very high level of self respect, it was evident that your body shamelessly still craved him - he was the only one running in your mind. Trying to block him out, you arranged the pillows on Soonyoung’s bed against the headboard, adjusted the towel and slowly climbed on. In all the time that you took leaning against it, spreading your legs and settling in, Soonyoung remained incredibly quiet. Patient. 

Although he couldn’t see you, watching him felt weird, given the man and the dick on your mind were not him. Sighing, you glanced at the object you were gripping - it had already taken shape of what you desired and the sight of it made you gulp. 

Lord was Choi Seungcheol thick.

Given his beefy exterior and broad build you had always assumed he was packed between his legs but this was nowhere near what you were imagining, not even close. Earlier, you were worried how you would get yourself off when you weren’t even wet enough but now you were practically dripping with the thought of that inside you. Still, you didn’t think it could fit, not without any prep. 

Slipping two fingers in your mouth you wet them messily before guiding them to your folds, smearing the spit with your very evident arousal. When you let out a soft sigh, Soonyoung shifted in his seat like he was alert and when your fingers teased your hole, slowly slipping in, an unintentional moan left you too, making him practically grip the armrests of his couch tight. 

“I'm going to need more than that Y/n.” He whispered. “What are you doing right now?” 

“I’m prepping myself, it’s…” You gulped. “It’s too big.” 

“Do you need lube?” He frowned. “Although I don’t know where it is….or if I even have any-” 

“That’s okay.” You shook your head. “I think I’m wet enough. Almost.” 

“Do you need any help?” 

You glanced at his tense body. “How can you help?” 

“Are you the kind that listens to instructions?”

“Occasionally.” 

“Then push your fingers further.” He exhaled. “Curl them up.” 

Although that was what was on your mind anyways, you obeyed. As your fingers brushed that spot, a soft fuck escaped your lips. 

“Feel good?” 

“Yeah.” You nodded. “Yeah that’s good.”

“Then move.” He cocked his head. “Slowly at first, then pick up speed.” 

Even before he finished his sentence you had followed through, fingers pumping faster, head falling back as the grip around the dildo in your hand tightened. 

“Add another finger.” 

“This feels good enough.” 

“This will feel better.” He urged. “Stretch yourself a little and add another finger.” 

Scissoring yourself open, you held back the moan that was threatening to tumble out, terrified Soonyoung would hear you. Belatedly you realised - Soonyoung was supposed to hear you. 

“Fuck that does feel better.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Are you ready for more?” 

“.......I think so.” 

“Then wet the dildo.” He shifted. “Put it in your mouth.” 

Hesitating just a bit you brought it up to your eye level, still taken aback by its sheer girth. In the dim light of the lamp on the nightstand you can see a stark vein running along his length, the sight of it nearly making your mouth water. Oh you wanted him to fill your mouth, you wanted him to fill you just about anywhere so bad but it was clear from earlier that Seungcheol didn’t want the same. So you were just going to take this chance and fuck him out of your brain. After tonight you were not going to think of Choi Seungcheol anymore. 

Determined, you wrapped your mouth around the tip, humming against the weight on your tongue before pulling it out with a wet pop. As Soonyoung’s breath hitched, you sunk your mouth down on it again, taking it further in, not far enough to let it hit the back of your throat, but enough to just slightly choke around it, drool running down the corner of your mouth. 

“Y/n,” Soonyoung’s voice sounded almost choked too. “Please….” 

You’ve never had a man beg for you like this before and it wasn’t enough to touch him but to touch yourself? Something in you swelled in pride, but something was also terrified about what things would be like once this was over - could you and Soonyoung really be the same again? And if things were going to change, how would they be? 

“Sweetie, you have to do something….” 

Knowing you needed something in you more than he did, you drove the thoughts away before aligning the tip at your dripping hole and slowly pushing Seungcheol’s girth in. 

“Holy shit..” You sighed as you thrusted his length further, the stretch serving a sting that slowly ebbed from pain to pleasure. 

“Is it all the way in?” Soonyoung groaned as you shook your head gulping.

“It’s not…” You panted, glancing down to see barely any length disappearing in you yet you were so full. “I can’t.”

“You can.” He licked his drying lips. “You can Y/n, come on - fuck yourself like you want to be fucked.” 

Yes you knew Soonyoung had a horrible habit of pointless flirting but you did not think his mouth was capable of spewing such filth too. 

“Tell me how you like it.” 

“Deep.” You whimpered, answering him as you shoved it in more, feeling it hit all the right places. “I like it deep.” 

“And fast?” 

“And fast.” 

“Then move.” 

And you did, pulling it out, pistoning it into you, sharp intakes of breath and curse words leaving you as you did. You felt your eyes roll back, threatening to shut but when they landed on Soonyoung they widened - he had slid down his chair, manspread now a lot wider and stark against his pants was the imprint of his uncomfortably trapped boner.

“Soonyoung….” You accidentally moaned, simply trying to get his attention. “Are you… hard?” 

“Unbearably.” He confessed immediately. “I’m s-sorry, it’s been a while-” 

“Do you want to touch yourself?”

You don’t know why exactly you asked him that but you wanted him to feel good too. Just as good as faux Seungcheol was making you feel. 

“I think I can cum without that.” He half laughed, half groaned. “But god yes I want to.”

“Do it.” You directed him, halting your own movements, watching him. “Touch yourself.” 

Without wasting a second, Soonyoung instantly unbuttoned his pants and stuck his hand down, wrapping it around his erection. As he shifted uncomfortably, you could tell he would’ve felt a lot better if he could completely free himself.

“Careful. Otherwise I’ll see you…I mean it…” 

“Do you mind?” He raised his eyebrows at you. “Would it bother you if I….” 

If you were being honest, since the moment you laid eyes on the outline of his dick you were curious…

“No.” You shook your head. “I don’t.” 

“Then I don’t give a flying fuck.” 

He raised his hips a little, just enough to pull down his pants as his erection sprung free, resting against his abs, pink and flushed. 

Oh he was long. 

Seungcheol might be thick but Soonyoung was long, like he could reach places no one else could. As he spat in his hand and smeared the pre cum along his length pumping it in his fist, you gulped, forgetting that you too were in the middle of doing the same thing, just staring. 

“Y/n,” He moaned your name, throwing his head back, setting off a strange fire in your groin. “Match my pace.” 

You nodded, thankful to not have to put your own brain to this which was threatening to shut off any moment now. Watching him half lidded, you let him set the pace for your movements, matching him almost perfectly. 

“Fuck this feels so good.” Soonyoung whimpered. 

“It does.” You agreed, with struggling breaths. “Soonyoung please…. Faster.” 

“Faster?” He smirked, but listened. “You really are one of us huh.” 

“I need more.” You whined, feeling yourself at an edge you were just not able to cross. “Soonyoung….” 

“I wish I could help, baby.” He sighed, “I really do wish…” 

“What would you have done?” 

“I’d have my mouth everywhere…marked your neck…. marked those pretty breasts….fuck Y/n, you’d have to beg me to stop.” 

“Don’t.” You moaned, pushing your shirt up with your free hand, grabbing a tit, squeezing it painfully hard. “Tell me more…” 

“I’d hold the toy for you, watch you fuck yourself on it….” He stroked himself faster, almost erratically. “Maybe give it to you from the back so I can see how your ass-” 

Groaning annoyed at the sound of music coming loudly from his pocket, your movements faltered, eyes widening. It was different from the ringtone earlier which probably meant-

“Is that Mina?” 

“Yeah.” 

“P-pick it up Soonyoung.” 

“Ignore it.” 

“Soon-” 

“Ignore it.” He emphasized. “Go on Y/n, I don’t know how long the effects of that toy are going to last.” 

And that’s what made you stop wondering why Soonyoung wouldn’t pick up the call when this was in fact the most ideal situation the two of you were meant to be caught in. You didn’t want to lose what you were pumping inside you, you didn’t want to lose the feeling of Seungcheol stretching you out. As you resumed the pace, Soonyoung’s voice left him like a croak. 

“Do you like the thought of this? Someone listening to you get off?” 

You didn’t want to answer that. Wasn’t the kind of things you liked evident by the fact that you were fucking yourself to one man while watching and listening to another? 

“Because I love that you’re watching.” He whispered. “It’s driving me insane.” 

“I wanna see you cum.” You pulled the toy out of you, tossing it onto the towel before your fingers found your clit rubbing circles hard.

“Fuck I'm close.” He pumped himself faster, losing rhythm, broken moans and whimpers leaving him. “So close.”

Words left your mouth too as incoherent babbles as you felt your back arch and insides tighten pleasurably. Eyes crossing and shut tight, you finally came, chest heaving, trying to catch a breath. As you slowly came around and ran your fingers down your folds realising just how much you came, Soonyoung continued to push himself over the edge, like he just needed a little more nudge to finally find his release. Gulping you swung your legs off the bed and silently walked up to him, standing between his manspread, leaning till your lips were right by his ear. 

“Cum for me Soonyoung.” 

Almost immediately, with a guttural moan, his head fell back, baring his neck as spurts of cum shot onto his hand and torso, painting them white. Once the sheer amount left him he finally slumped back into his chair, breathing again, like he had been holding it in for too long. The sight of his cum all over his abs against the sheen of sweat on it made you clench unwillingly and you ran two fingers over it, collecting it. You knew his lips parted to catch his breath but you took the chance to slip your digits into his mouth, letting him taste himself. Surprised but not unpleasantly, Soonyoung ran his tongue along them, licking it clean, pulling away with a pop.

“You taste as good as you sound.” 

It's only then that you realise your own arousal was coating your fingers too. 

Scoffing awkwardly, you shuffled back, picking up your shorts and panties from the floor, putting them on slowly.  

“I'm not dressed yet!” You shrieked, futilely trying to cover yourself as Soonyoung attempted to remove his blindfold. Holding his hand up, he allowed you to get dressed in the silence that followed. Silence that was too much to bear, silence that if he hadn’t broken, you would have. 

“I wasn't sure if I heard right but I thought…” He let out a deep breath as he tucked his flaccid self back in his pants. “I thought you took someone's name as you came.” 

You froze. 

You hadn't realised but now that you thought about it…. maybe, just maybe, you had taken Seungcheol’s name as your orgasm hit you. Yes you were incredibly turned on by Soonyoung and the sight of him and the sounds that left him but there was only one thing running at the back of your mind - cheol, cheol, cheol. 

“I'm not sure what you heard.” You brushed away his concerns, trying to sound casual. “I don't even know what I was saying, I was in some other zone entirely.” 

Soonyoung hummed in response and didn't push you for any further details. Grateful, you wiped your hands on the towel laid out before grabbing it, the bedsheet as well as the dildo and stuffed them all in your bag, throwing it over your shoulder - this was your mess to deal with.

“You done?” 

“Yeah just….put fresh sheets please.” 

“Oh don't worry about all that.” He got up, attempting to take his blindfold yet again. “I got it. If you want you could-” 

“Goodbye Soonyoung.” You stepped back, knowing he was offering for you to stay the night. Instead you headed for the door, hoping to leave before your eyes met his again. “I hope I was of help.” 

And as you left, you heard him sigh, revealing something he probably didn't mean for you to hear. 

“I don't think so Y/n.”

—

When you left Soonyoung’s house the rain had stopped but as you stood in the dining hall before the laundry machines the storm had returned yet again, much heavier this time. You glanced outside the windows at the obscurity sighing. It was like things just hated being in your favour. 

When the ding of the washer went off, you shifted the sheets into the dryer and decided to leave it there for the night considering you couldn't carry them back in the rain - you’d deal with them in the morning anyways, you weren’t ready to see Soonyoung just yet.

When you grabbed your bag from the floor, the weight had not reduced much - the dildo was still in it except it was back in its original popsicle-like shape, any trace of its resemblance to Seungcheol lost. You'd simply washed it and put it back in the bag, unsure what else to do with it. A part of you was annoyed that it had taken after Seungcheol of all people but the other was terrified that if you were to ever use it again, it would probably still model after him yet again. 

Disappointed with yourself you took a deep breath and shook your head. No. No more Choi Seungcheol. This ends here. 

Glancing at the machines one last time, you held onto your bag and ran out into the rain, hoping that Seungcheol had retired to his room by the time you reached. Instead, just as you approached the House of Zeus, you heard his voice. 

“Y/n!” 

He was drenched from head to toe, his blonde hair sticking to his face much like his shirt plastered against his pecs, like he had been soaked in the rain for hours. Letting out a struggled breath, you walked straight into his house, ignoring him. Seungcheol jogged over as fast as he could, putting himself in between you and the doors. 

“Y/n please listen to me-” 

“I don’t want to.” You attempted to go around him, only to be blocked by him again. 

“I just want to explain what happened earlier-” 

“I don’t care enough for an explanation.”

“I do!” 

You rolled your eyes as you pushed him away, a lot less gently than you intended to and Seungcheol immediately caught your hand, pulling you towards him.

“Seungcheol-” 

“You…. you can touch me.” He looked at his fingers wrapped around your wrist in awe, then at your palm flat against his chest.

“Didn’t you say you didn’t want me to-” 

“You shouldn’t be able to.” He muttered like he was amazed, unable to tear his eyes away. “How can you….” 

“Seungcheol, you're not making any sense.” 

He let out a deep breath. “Do you remember when you first came to camp we told you that every demigod has a certain set of offensive and defensive powers depending on their parentage?” 

You nodded, frowning.

“As the son of Zeus, my defensive power is….an electric field.” Oh. “At times like war, or in adrenaline driven situations, I become highly charged, rendering anyone who so much as comes two feet near me electrocuted. It's supposed to be a way to weaken enemies.” He sighed, “That’s why I was afraid of you touching me. I didn’t want you to get hurt.” 

“But…..Seungcheol I’m not an enemy and this isn’t a war-” 

“I get nervous around you.” He avoided your eye. “I don’t know, I just….. I can feel my skin prickling around you but……” He glanced at where your hands met his again. “You don’t feel anything?” 

“No, no I don’t but why do I make you nervous?” 

Seungcheol smiled softly. “Do you really not know?” 

You suppressed the grin forming on your own face. Fucking finally. 

“No.” You shook your head feigning innocence. “Tell me.” 

“Can I show you?” 

Maybe you nodded a bit too eagerly, because Seungcheol chuckled, pushing himself up against the door, pulling you along with him. As your body pressed against his, his hands found your waist, gaze darkening. He leaned in, lips hovering over yours, whispering your name softly, like he loved the sound of it. As your breaths mingled, lightning went off behind you, the silver light illuminating his gorgeous face and all its sharp angles. Just as you moved closer, eyes fluttering shut, Seungcheol cleared his throat. 

“Y/n I’m sorry, I forgot that it’s late and we have training at 4 tomorrow.” He muttered, drawing his hands away. “You should sleep. I can’t excuse your lateness everyday.” 

And yet again Choi Seungcheol left you completely baffled as he opened the door behind him and walked in, away from you. 

a/n - please send me your thoughts - this kind of writing is waaaay out of my comfort zone, I need to know I'm not completely messing shit up and if I missed you in the taglist, please lmk!

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Bucky is the heir to a large mafia empire. He’s worked his way through the ranks and has accumulated a significant amount of financial wealth in the process. His childhood best friend (whom he’s had a crush on for years on end) from his (their shared) humble beginnings never lets him spoil her in any capacity, no matter how much he tries to explain that it doesn’t truly make a dent in his fortune.

Bucky hires a bodyguard for her, and it takes her a while to catch onto it. When she does, she’s livid. How dare he insinuate that she can’t protect and defend herself?

He explains that he’s not protecting her, he’s protecting his biggest weakness.

She’s not weak, how could she be a weakness to him?

His enemies know that there is absolutely nothing that he wouldn’t do for her. Again, she’s not a weakness, she’s not a weak person— she’s Bucky’s weakness, and not how she thinks.

She accepts his reasoning (begrudgingly) and facetiously asks him if he wants to get married so they can’t be forced to testify against each other in court.

He says “yes” so quickly that she finally realizes that her feelings have been reciprocated the entire time.

Mob!AU with a childhood best friends-to-lovers appetizer and an idiots-to-lovers side dish (yum 😏)

Protect Myself » Bucky Barnes (AU)

Pairings: Mafia Boss/Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Best Friend!Female Reader

Summary: You get mad when you find out bucky has hired a bodyguard to help protect you. You make it very clear to him that you can protect yourself. The conversation takes an interesting and unexpected turn.

Warnings: Fluff, language, Best Friends to Lovers/Idiots In Love, Bucky is a big softie in this, kissing, pet names

A/N: Thank you to the lovely anonymous person who requested this🩵

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creator.

You stormed into Bucky’s mansion full of angry without knocking. You were stopped by one of his security guards.

“Ma’am.” The security guard stepped in front of you, stopping you in your tracks. “You need an appointment to see Mr. Barnes.” He tells you.

“I don’t need an appointment to see my own best friend.” You say.

You tried to walk past him, but he stopped you by grabbing your arm.

“Get your fucking hands off of me!” You say loudly.

Bucky heard the sound of your voice from his office all the way upstairs. He stood up from his desk and walked out of his office. He went downstairs to see you with his security guard’s hand on you.

“Take your hands off of her.” Bucky demands to his security guard.

“Sir, she-” His security guard stopped talking when he seen a look on Bucky’s face that he knows all too well.

His security guard let go of you. You glared at him before walking past him to get to Bucky.

“Go upstairs to my bedroom and I’ll be there in a minute.” Bucky says.

You nodded and went to his bedroom. Bucky looked at his security guard.

“Y/N is welcome here anytime.” He tells him. “And never, I mean never, put your hands on her again or you’re fired. Do you understand?” He says.

“I understand, sir. It won’t happen again.” The security guard says.

Bucky told him to go back to work before going upstairs to his bedroom where you are. He closed the door behind him.

“Sit down.” You demanded, pointing at the bed.

Bucky didn’t say a word and sat down on his bed.

“You and I have been best friends for years and I want to know what was going through your mind when you hired a bodyguard for me.” You say.

“To protect you.” He simply says.

“I can protect myself, James.” You say.

Bucky knows you can protect yourself. He didn’t hire the bodyguard to protect you. Well, he did, but he did it for a different reason.

“I know you can protect yourself.” He says.

“Then explains why you hired a bodyguard for me.” You say, crossing your arms over your chest.

“For a weakness.” He says.

“What weakness?” You asked. “I’m not weak.” You say.

You’re the strongest woman bucky knows. He knows you’re not weak.

“My weakness.” He said. “You’re my weakness.” He says.

“What?” You asked.

“You’re my weakness.” He repeats. “I have a lot of enemies and I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He explains.

Now you feel bad for yelling and throwing accusations at him. Bucky was always protective of you, even as kids. You should’ve know that right away, but didn’t think about it.

“If one of them got their hands on you somehow, I would be out for blood.” He says.

There it is… his soft side. Bucky is only a softie for you. He may be a big badass mafia boss to everyone, but deep down he’s just a big softie who has a crush on his best friend who he’s known all of his life.

“What are you trying to say, Bucky?” You asked.

“I love you.” Bucky blurted out. “That’s why I hired a bodyguard for you.” He says.

Your eyes went wide in surprise. James Buchanan Barnes, your best friend and a badass mafia boss, is in love with you.

“So…” You mused at the thought in your head for a moment. “Do you want to get married?” You asked facetiously.

“Yes.” Bucky answers too fast.

You opened your mouth and then closed it. You didn’t expect Bucky to say yes that fast.

Bucky reaches over to his nightstand and opened the drawer, grabbing a small velvet box. Your eyes went wide again and your mouth fell open, already knowing what’s in that small box.

“Question is…” Bucky got down on one knee and opened the small velvet box, revealing the most beautiful diamond ring you’ve ever seen. “Do you want to get married?” He asks.

You were speechless. You didn’t know what to say. What you do know is that you would be lying if you said you didn’t love him.

“Bucky, I-” You were too speechless to say anything. “What about our friendship?” You asked.

“That’s the beauty of marriage, sweetheart. We’ll still be best friends no matter what.” He says with a smile.

You stared at the diamond ring for a moment longer before answering his question.

“Yes!” You finally answered. “I’ll marry you.” You say with a smile.

Bucky smiles widely and put the ring on your ring finger. He stood up straight and kissed you passionately.

“I get to choose our honeymoon destination.” You say against his lips.

“I’m completely fine with that as long as I’m with you.” He says, kissing you again.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[starboye]

starring: nerdy!matt sturniolo x male reader

request: matt helping you study (or at least trying to) and you're to horny to even focus so you tease matt the whole time

warnings: smut, cursing, teasing, edging, blow job, nerdy!matt

"c'mon matt you got this just read the paragraph" you coo as if you didn't have your hand wrapped around his cock slowly pumping away, he offered to help you study for your upcoming test but this isn't what he meant, but maybe it was his fault for agreeing to study while laying in bed knowing you would very well do this to him "ngh please y/n we have to study" matt whimpered, his thighs twitching with each slight move of your hand, i mean how could matt be so dumb to think you would actually call him over just to study.

"don't worry about me i'll ace the test because i have my very smart boyfriend to help me study, right" you tease rubbing you thumb across his aching leaky tip "i mean how would i ever do anything with out you helping me" you says kissing his cheek and moving down to lay small kisses on his neck "please" matt whispers "m'gonna need you to speak up matty" you taunt him and now he's not sure how much more of this torture he can take before he blows "ple- mm fuck y/n... please suck me" matt lowly repeats.

"happily" you quickly kiss him before your traveling down and getting comfy in between his legs, you fully take off his underwear and pants and lick his tip, flicking the beads of pre cum onto your tongue "mmm you taste so good matt" you smile before you start slapping his dick onto your tongue, matt by now has thrown the book somewhere onto the bed and as much as he didn't want to bring his eyes to your, fearful of the effect it might have on him he couldn't stop looking at you.

you sunk your mouth onto his twitchy dick and bobbing your head up and down, matts hands flew to grip the sheets of your bed tightly, watching your actions through fluttering eyelashes "fuckkk" matt let out broken guttural moans that sounded like he was on the edge of cumming but you quickly pull off his dick, jerking him off to make up for the loss of your mouth "i cant have you cumming that quick now can i" you tease even more, your hand moving at an agonizingly slow pace that left him just on the edge but never cumming.

"fuck y/n... please i wanna cum" matt whines, thighs twitchy to the touch of your hand "i know but you can hold it for just a little longer" you say leaning down to kiss his thighs, one hand moving to fondle his balls a little "mm mm" he shakes his head, biting down on his lip to silence his moan, he was thanking god that you're family wasn't home right now to hear him and his whiny noises.

you wanted to draw this out for longer, edge him on again and again just to ruin it but his cute face scrunching with each of you teasing moves made you take pity on him, you sink your mouth back onto his cock and resume bobbing your head up and down till matt was writhing uncontrollably in his place before cumming in your mouth, loud whimpers flood from his mouth just as his cum floods your mouth.

you bring your head up and wipe your mouth of the arousal before crawling towards his dazed face and kissing him, you lay flat on his huffing chest "we should study together more often" you say snuggling into him "ye... yeah definitely" matt says finally coming back to his senses "did you really study for that test though" matt asks now rubbing you back "nope" you say unbothered making matt roll his eyes.

taglist:@mailmango@spermeboy@ghostking4m@gayaristocrat@addictedtomalepits@staarb0y@crispysoup318@its-ares@gargoylesworld09@kadenvatsune@fuckshft

[matthewfuckinggraygubler]

Could you do Spencer x reader where he’s holding a cast party and reader goes to his home to help get the party ready and confesses that she is attracted to him and he likes her back (Smut/ cute Fluff if possible)

Or could you do where the reader is starting to show her baby bump/ tell Spencer she’s pregnant? Thank uuu

Party with a surprise || Spencer Reid

· Pairing: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

· Category: fluff, smut-fluff, Angst

· Warning: Sex, pregnancy, body-shaming

· Words: 4854

· Summary: You and Spencer are really close, and lately, you've been hanging out a lot. You're excited to help him set up his party, hoping to spend more time with him. You had no idea things would change so quickly between you two.

· Spanish on Wattpad. English isn't my first language, be kind!

· Masterlist

"Hey, have you sent animated invitations to everyone for Saturday’s party?"

You heard a voice complaining behind you as a coffee flew through the air and landed in your hands.

"Yes, don’t you like it? They turned out pretty good, didn’t they?"

"Big social event at Spencer Reid's house. Please be on time, if you've been invited it's because you're a very special person… The time, the day... the address... a heart, another one... moving animals... very creative, yes." He complained, barely holding back a laugh.

"I think it was successful… everyone liked it, they all confirmed their attendance, by the way. You’re welcome for the help," you responded sarcastically.

He hadn’t asked for help with the party, but you wanted to do it. It wasn’t something he would normally do, though you thought it was great, and it was as good an excuse as any to spend time together. You’d been friends for a long time, but lately, you’d been feeling more attracted to him than usual, something you tried to deny to yourself.

"I didn’t ask for it, no need, really, just you coming is enough." You knew he didn’t mean to bother you, which only made him more adorable.

"I’ll be there early on Saturday to help with everything. And don’t try to argue! I know you." You said with a cheeky smile but a certain authoritative tone, and he couldn’t help but smile too.

On Saturday, you arrived at his house at four sharp, loaded with bags full of decorations, food, and drinks. You climbed the stairs, feeling sweat trickling down your back and your heart racing. You wanted to look perfect for him. Once at the top, you dropped everything with a sigh. Your hair was a bit tousled, and your cheeks were flushed. Just as you were about to fix yourself up, the door opened.

"Hey… What are you doing…?" A shy smile appeared on his lips.

"N-nothing... I was… resting. I carried all these things up." You were still panting.

"You should’ve called me! You’re so stubborn... You’re early." He protested as he helped you bring in the bags.

"There’s a lot of decorating to do... Why are you throwing a party if you're going to complain so much?"

"Okay, okay, sorry. I’m just nervous. You... You look really pretty, by the way."

Your eyes widened, and you fought to keep your cheeks from turning red.

"Oh… Thanks…" You turned away, trying to hide the fact that the comment affected you, and started taking things out of the bag. "Come on… Help me..."

Before you could finish your sentence, Spencer was beside you, helping you take out the decorations and placing them on the table. His arm brushed against yours, and it was affecting you more than you'd like to admit.

"Hey, look." Spencer wrapped your head with a garland. "It really suits you," he said with a laugh. You were standing quite close, and your heart raced at his adorable gesture.

"Oh, so funny." You put a bow on his head. "Now you’re a gift."

He smiled when you didn’t pull away. He looked at you intently and, with a moment of bravery, said, "I don’t mind if I’m a gift for you."

Your cheeks flushed, and you lowered your gaze, feeling your heart pound. You didn’t expect such a direct declaration. Was he openly flirting with you? Was Spencer Reid flirting? He was, and you liked it, but the idea of crossing that line with your best friend terrified you.

As you both decorated the living room, the tension between you increased with every accidental touch and prolonged glance. Your body responded instinctively to his closeness, but a part of you fought to maintain distance. When you finished, you both sat on the couch.

"Have you thought about the music? Parties have music, Spence..." You grabbed your phone and searched for a lively playlist.

"Good thing you’re here, or else…" Suddenly, you felt his hand gently stroke your arm, casually, as if it were something he did all the time. You glanced at his hand out of the corner of your eye but tried to ignore it, focusing on your phone, but your body betrayed you, and your skin tingled at his touch. You looked up and realized he was much closer than you thought. The tension was palpable, like that typical movie moment where the protagonists kiss. You felt it, you wanted it, and you could tell he did too. But oh, right... just as you were about to get closer, the doorbell rang—a timely yet inconvenient coincidence. You both cursed internally; it was clear on your faces.

"I’ll get it..." Spencer said as he stroked your arm once more, pressing gently. You didn’t know what they had done to your friend and colleague. He was so bold, so confident, you couldn’t believe it, though you loved it.

When he opened the door, Penelope burst in, with Derek and JJ following behind.

"Heyyy!" The blonde greeted cheerfully.

"How’s it going, lovebirds? I brought this," Derek placed something to drink on the table.

JJ entered and sat in the living room, looking at you curiously when she saw your frown. She smiled.

Soon, the others arrived, and honestly, you were all having a great time. You kept handling the music for everyone's sake, and watching Morgan and Garcia break into dance quickly got the party going. Rossi pulled you out to dance, Emily and JJ made amusing comments, and Hotch stayed off to the side, sipping his drink and "smiling" at the spectacle. But noticing how Spencer never took his eyes off you for a second made your heart race non-stop. If there hadn’t been music, everyone could have probably heard your heartbeat.

You spent the whole night flirting, glances here and there, a touch now and then, a subtle comment whenever one of you got close to the other… Tonight you felt like you were on cloud nine. You went to Spencer’s room, where you had all left your personal things, to grab some lip balm from your purse. As you were about to leave, you bumped into him.

"Oh..! You scared me... Sorry."

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you." Spencer had a relaxed smile on his face. He had followed you, clearly wanting to be alone with you, and at that point, you had no control over your nerves.

"N-no, it’s fine..."

"You still… still haven’t danced with me," he said, raising his eyebrows, giving you those puppy-dog eyes that made you melt. You hadn’t really been aware of it until now. And suddenly, you realized you were in his room, in the dark, with only the light from outside and the sound of the music from the living room and your friends having fun.

"No, you don’t dance..." You said with a nervous giggle.

"I would dance with you," he replied, stepping closer.

The shy laugh that escaped you as you lowered your head, embarrassed, seemed like more than enough of a sign for him to approach, with a soft but determined touch on your waist. His touch was slow, cautious, waiting for any sign of doubt or rejection, but that never came. Instead, your hands slowly moved up his arms, tracing the path to his shoulders, and you were completely pressed together as you started a slow, swaying dance.

Your gazes locked, trapping you in the warmth of his brown eyes that seemed to speak without words. Slowly, he leaned his face toward yours until your foreheads touched. He smiled—a smile full of tenderness you could see even with the dim light that entered, making you shiver.

With a slight movement of his foot, he closed the door, isolating the two of you from the rest of the world. The darkness surrounding you seemed to intensify your heartbeat. His hands, which had rested on your waist, began to slowly slide down, while yours, almost without realizing it, moved up to his neck, seeking more closeness.

Your noses brushed in a sweet, innocent gesture, but it was loaded with restrained desire. Your bodies, once swaying in sync, now moved erratically, but in that lack of coordination, there was something deliberate, as if every small accidental touch was a game you both wanted to keep playing. You could feel it—his body reacting, and yours responding to his touch.

Almost at the same time, you both leaned in, meeting in a kiss that, though passionate, was slow, delicate. With each touch, each caress of his lips on yours, you felt your mind fog, and time seemed to stop, letting only your deepest instincts guide the moment. Your tongues tangled together, while Spencer’s hands tenderly caressed the rest of your body, pulling it as close to his as he could, wanting to treat it with all the care in the world, and that’s when he seemed to realize he wanted to kiss every part of you. There was nothing innocent about the way your tongues intertwined, exploring each other with a sweetness that made you feel like you were floating. Spencer’s hands were careful, starting to explore your body with the same tenderness with which he kissed your lips.

He pushed you gently against the door, his ragged breath hitting your skin as he began a trail of kisses down your neck, slowly descending to your collarbone. Each kiss ignited a spark, making your thoughts completely vanish. The softness with which he treated you was a delicious contradiction; his kisses were soft, but the desire only made you burn more.

In the background, you barely heard the music and distant voices. Laughter, conversations, even Derek’s booming laughter or Garcia’s loud voice faded away. All that mattered was him and how his hands drew you closer to his body, as

In the background, you could barely hear the music and distant voices. Laughter, conversations, even Derek's loud laughter or García's booming voice faded away. All that mattered was him, and the way his hands pulled you closer to his body, as if he never wanted to let you go.

With a gentle movement, you pulled Spencer, and the two of you fell onto the bed. You on your back and him on top of you, his lips never stopped moving across your skin. A mixture of desire and tenderness filled every second. His body against yours enveloped you, not just physically, but emotionally, as you felt the intensity that only kept growing. And there, while Spencer's hands continued to explore your body with that infinite devotion, you knew that moment was just yours, perfect in its mix of passion and love.

His lips didn’t stop exploring every part of you they could reach, while his ragged breathing brushed your skin with an intoxicating warmth, the way his mouth lingered on your skin was slow, but filled with an intensity that made you shiver. Your hands weren’t still. They slid to his hair, tangling in it, tugging slightly, trying to feel him even closer. You could feel how every one of his movements seemed intentional, designed to make you feel loved and desired at the same time. He paused occasionally, breathing deeply. The silence in the room, broken only by whispers, shallow breaths, and the music in the background, became even more palpable when his lips finally met yours again in a deeper, more desperate kiss.

His hands rested on your face, caressing your cheek with an overwhelming softness. He looked into your eyes as his breathing steadied slightly, and then, in a low and husky voice, he said, "You can’t imagine how much I love you." His confession hung in the air, filling it with a warmth that pierced your heart.

You shivered, your body trembled, and your mind went blank. In that moment, it felt like you were floating away, all the feelings you'd been ignoring, and there he was, confessing that he loved you and making you feel like the most desired person in the sweetest way.

As his lips met yours again, Spencer couldn’t help but smile against your mouth. There was something mischievous in that gesture, something that seemed to remind you both that you'd been away from the party for too long. Your stomach fluttered, and you said, "I love you too, Spencer." The urgency started to grow more palpable. His body on top of yours pressed slightly, as if time itself was conspiring to make sure nothing and no one interrupted that moment.

Between kisses, soft laughter, and ragged breaths, he whispered in your ear, with a warm and conspiratorial tone: "They're going to look for us... they must be wondering where we are by now."

"Let them wonder," you replied with a half-smile, almost panting, as you pulled him closer, making your bodies fit together even more. You felt the heat on your skin, the fast beat of his heart, and in that moment, nothing else mattered. There were no longer just brushes of skin, his hands sought your breasts, caressing them beneath your clothes as he kissed your neck.

The hand that had been exploring your torso moved down to your abdomen, unbuttoning your pants. His hands began to slide more firmly over your waist, moving down, pulling off your pants and underwear. Despite the urgency you both felt, there was a softness in his touch that countered the fast pace of his kisses. It seemed like every gesture, every caress, was filled with love and devotion.

Between kisses, Spencer paused his mouth near your ear. "Tell me if you want me to stop..." His voice was a deep whisper, filled with that perfect mix of desire and respect, his words echoed in your mind as you bit your lip.

"No… Don't stop," you responded quickly, your fingers tangling even tighter in his hair, pulling him closer to you. You got rid of his belt, and his hands moved even faster, exploring every part of you, while his mouth reclaimed yours in a deeper kiss, full of that urgent desire. You knew that at any moment someone could knock on the door or ask about you two, but that only seemed to speed things up. You shivered when, in one swift movement, you felt him make you completely his.

Spencer breathed against your neck, his lips moving up and down, leaving a trail of kisses that made your skin burn with each touch. Between whispered moans of pleasure, you felt how his movements became faster, more intense, but never lost the sweetness that had characterized every touch, every kiss.

"You're perfect," he whispered against your lips, his voice ragged from the intensity of the moment. His hot breath brushed your skin as he kissed you over and over, his hands gripping you as if he didn’t want that moment to slip away.

You felt it too; that delicious mix of urgency and emotional connection that made you wish time would stop. As your bodies moved in unison, Spencer kept his eyes closed, as if that allowed him to thrust with more force, as if he wanted to savor every second. But when he opened them, he looked at you with such intensity that it almost took your breath away.

Words were replaced by unintelligible whispers, small confessions of love and desire that escaped between quick breaths. The urgency that had started when you fell on the bed now reached its peak, but even in those most intense moments, Spencer never stopped being tender. His hands, which gripped you more tightly, still kept that softness that made you feel protected and loved.

Finally, the moment culminated in an explosion of sensations, and he had to cover your mouth with his hand between laughs to keep quiet, though luckily the music was loud. The two of you clung to each other, breathing together, sharing the heat and the rapid beat of your hearts. Spencer buried his face in your neck, breathing deeply as he tried to calm down, letting his hand that had been over your lips fall.

After a few moments, both of you started laughing softly, your bodies still close. Spencer sat up just enough to look into your eyes.

"They definitely suspect something," he said, but his tone was light, playful. He didn’t seem too worried.

"I don’t care," you replied, laughing, as you caressed his neck.

That night meant something new for both of you. Monday morning when you arrived, he was there, and you looked at each other nervously, unsure of what to say. You had confessed your love to each other in the middle of the frenzy and hadn’t talked about it afterward. For the rest of the party, you were affectionate, more than usual, and of course, your friends noticed your absence and the playful flirting afterward. You didn’t escape the teasing comments either.

“Hey, lovebirds, here,” Derek handed each of you a drink. “You need to replenish your fluids.” My face turned as red as a tomato, and Spencer laughed, lowering his gaze.

“Morgan... leave them alone, don’t be cruel,” JJ was at least on our side, thankfully.

“I love it when there are new couples! The beginnings are so beautiful!!” García is undoubtedly the team’s biggest blabbermouth. I didn’t know where to hide, and I couldn’t understand why Spencer wasn’t feeling awkward about the situation.

“Alright, alright... Guys, stop, y/n’s going to bolt,” Rossi gestured with his hands as if calming everyone down. “So, where were we? Can someone turn up the music and bring me another drink?” Emily had definitely taken over a couch and was in her happy place.

After the party, I went home. JJ, Emily, and I took an Uber. Spencer and I said goodbye normally; I think we were embarrassed, with everyone there, we didn’t know how to behave. And for the rest of the weekend, we didn’t talk again.

When we saw each other again on Monday, it was a bit awkward. He greeted me when he saw me, and I didn’t know how to react.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“How are you...?” He seemed like he wanted to say something more, but I think he was feeling the same as me.

“Uh, uh... I’m fine, and you...?”

“I... Well, I’m fine...” There was a pause. “Actually, no, I’m not.”

“You’re not? Okay, why not?” You thought this was the stupidest conversation you’d ever had.

Even with the silly conversation you were having, you cursed when you were interrupted.

“Hey, Reid, I need you to come with me to a crime scene.” Damn Morgan, he’s always so freaking inconvenient.

You spent the whole day at the office nervously trying to do the profile, but you didn’t make much progress. You kept glancing at the door. “Where had they gone?” you wondered.

It wasn’t until the middle of the afternoon that Reid appeared, exhausted from running all over the city, collapsing into his chair. When you saw him, you moved closer, sitting in the chair next to him.

“Hey... how did it go? You took a while.” You were worried when you saw his tired face, and you had the urge to hug him.

He slouched further in the chair. “It went well, it was just a long investigation. I’m tired,” his eyes locked on yours. “I... wanted to see you.”

You tried to contain a smile that was fighting to come out, but you lost the battle. Spencer gave you one in return, sincere, kind. And you saw him extend a hand, inviting you to take it. You didn’t think much about it; you wanted to feel his electrifying, warm, and comforting skin against yours again.

“The day felt so long without you.” You were starting to lose filters; you didn’t want them with him.

“It’s been endless. The thing is, I’ve had something on my mind all day, and I need to ask you.”

“Oh, okay... Go ahead, ask.” You were a nervous wreck, but you acted normal.

“Um... You and I... ? Are we... are we boyfriend and girlfriend...?”

Your smile grew wider without meaning to; you found it so adorable how he was asking to be your boyfriend, how he wasn’t sure if he already was after what had happened. He was sweet even for this. Though to be honest, you didn’t really know either.

“Hm... I’d like that... Do you... do you want to be my boyfriend...?” You asked with a bit of hesitation.

He gently pulled on the hand you had grabbed a few minutes ago, and with the other, he cupped your face and kissed you with a softness and tenderness that made you melt. Yes, he definitely wanted to be your boyfriend.

You spent a few dreamlike months together. You were in love, enjoying your time like any newly-started couple: many hours in bed, just as many out walking, countless more on the couch reading and eating chocolate ice cream like you loved so much, enduring the comments and teasing from your friends... You had been together for a month and a half, and for the last few days, you hadn't been feeling well. Some dizziness and more exhaustion than usual, though you didn’t think much of it.

A week later, and suddenly, the foods you once loved were making you feel sick. Everything disgusted you. By the time two months had passed, the lack of sleep and food, along with body aches, was getting to you.

"Hey, you've not been feeling well lately, babe. We’re going to the doctor," he insisted, kind but firm.

"Seriously, just leave it, these past few weeks have been stressful. I just need to finish this case."

"Stress? You can’t stop moving at night, your back hurts, you're irritable, you're not eating... It’s like…" His face changed completely, becoming sad.

"Like what…?"

"We started dating, and now you… Is this all because you don’t want us to be together? Do you want to go back?"

"W-what?" My eyes were wide. Had I made him think that? I had been so focused on myself that I hadn’t noticed how he was feeling. "NO! I love you! Do you hear me?" I grabbed his face, forcing him to look at me.

Spencer nodded slowly and rested his forehead against mine. "I love you too. I’m just worried you’re not okay."

"You’re so adorable I could die right now, you know that?" His laugh, with his forehead still pressed against mine, made him even more adorable. He didn’t know.

A couple more weeks passed, maybe three, you weren’t sure. There was so much chaos in your life—working at the BAU had its downsides: traveling, long hours, constant outings... You hadn’t noticed a pattern until today. You had spent the last five mornings throwing up your coffee. “Sht…” you thought. Suddenly, you became aware of everything else: you were wearing leggings because your jeans were too tight, the aches, the fatigue, the chest pain, the nausea... “Fck… This can’t be, this can’t be…”

You panicked and got dressed quickly, trying not to think about it anymore. When you arrived at the bullpen, JJ showed up with some donuts and offered you one, but you refused as soon as the smell hit your nose.

“Ugh… no thanks, JJ…”

“Oh, alright… I’ll save one for later.” JJ looked at you closely.

“Hey, for how little you’re eating, you’re looking extra huggable. Love looks good on you,” Morgan joked about the obvious change in your body, and it crushed you. It was an innocent comment, seemingly positive, but you couldn’t take it.

“S-sorry, I need to go to the bathroom, guys.” You rushed off, the door closed behind you, and you started crying uncontrollably.

A few seconds later, someone came in. “Hello…? Hey…” JJ was fully aware of what was happening to you. She had been watching for a while—she had gone through the same thing. “Wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“I screwed up, JJ…”

“Well… It’s not exactly that, right?”

“How could I not use…? Damn it, I should’ve known better. I forget to take the pill sometimes. I’m so scatterbrained, and with the time changes, the trips… What do I do?!”

“Hm, I think you two need to talk, honestly. You love each other, don’t you? It’ll be okay.” JJ seemed so calm, and it was actually helping you, but all you wanted to do was scream.

The rest of the day, you were a bit distant with everyone, even with Spencer, who seemed worried about you. He tried to take care of you without overwhelming you too much, always attentive to your needs. He always did that, but now he wanted to make sure you felt better; leaving water on your desk, lollipops you liked next to your monitor, hand cream… At the end of the day, he approached you.

"Hey, um, would you… do you want to come over to my place today?" You could see his concerned, almost pleading expression.

That automatically brought a small smile to your face. "Of course, I want to. Let’s go."

When you arrived, you were determined to talk to him, no matter how hard it might be.

"Um, Spence, can we talk? I need to tell you something." Your face was full of complete and utter distress.

Spencer let out a deep sigh, took your hand, and gently led you to the couch, inviting you to sit beside him. His attitude struck you as odd, though he was always tender with you.

"Alright, uh… I have something important to tell you," you said firmly. You wanted to be direct, not knowing any other way to do it.

"I know what's going on." His face, though serious, radiated affection, empathy, and kindness.

"Oh. Uh… How do you… know?"

"If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s recognizing patterns. And for the past three months, you’ve had some pretty obvious symptoms: nausea, vomiting, aches, fatigue, gaining a bit of volume…" He squeezed your hand, and a small smile appeared on his face.

You felt like you were breaking slowly. "Why… didn’t you say anything?" Your voice sounded high-pitched, on the verge of tears.

"I was giving you space, I thought you needed it. At first, I thought you were sick, and then I realized that wasn’t it. I just wanted you to come to me when you were ready…" Your face was a mix between a pout and a smile.

"It’s just… I didn’t notice, it’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, I just wasn’t aware. My god, what a stupid thing… Not even with my body, my clothes don’t even fit."

"Your body is perfect, I love it, no matter what it is now or what it will be, I’ll love it always. I love you in all your forms." He lifted your hands and kissed them with his eyes closed, showing all the devotion he felt for you. Your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your chest, and a huge smile spread across your face.

"Look, I haven’t actually taken a test yet, so I don’t know if I really am or not… I also don’t know if… I mean, what now? If it’s real, what are we going to do? I can’t think of anything else right now; it’s like everything is foggy—my work, the future, us…"

"Okay, okay, okay… Stop. Listen. Tomorrow we’ll go to the doctor, and this time you can’t say no. Once we know more, you can decide what you want. I want you to know that I love you and I want to share my life with you. The idea of starting a family together makes me really happy, but what matters most is that we’re okay together." Tears streamed down your cheeks, maybe because of the hormone cocktail, or the mix of happiness, love, fear, uncertainty… and he wiped them away with his fingers, placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

"Everything is going to be okay." His words soothed your hyperactive mind. "I love you."

"I know." You said, gently holding his wrists, wanting to keep him close.

· Requests via DM ·

[flowerfreya]

Normalcy

The office AU - Part 16

Reader just wants to get back to normal , but the boys just want to take care of you

Poly!141 x reader

Crazy , ex girlfriend was banned from the premises, if spotted the people in the building were told to contact the 141. She would be violating her restraining order ( you did not know about this) and trespassing.

In the hospital, you did decide to press charges but you made it known you didn’t want to go to court and all that mess. You just wanted it to be over.

The boys felt like they owed you one. But also they just wanted to be there for you.

You wanted to go back to work once the doctor cleared you to go home from the hospital, showing up to the building the next day , sore but ready to work. The boys did not like that. At all.

“What are you doing here?” , John snaps at you.

It has you looking up from the computer, confused murmur, “working”, you answer back.

“Don’t you have a concussion”, Gaz says as he strolls in from the annex. His forehead is creased and he’s straining his eyes trying to see if you are in pain.

“No, only some bruising and messed up ankle”, you answer, starting to get annoyed. They were at the hospital with you almost the whole time. Asked more questions than you did. You know they are just making up shit to coddle you, and you don’t appreciate it (yes you do but you don’t want to admit that yet).

“Maybe yer should on the typing, hen. Might hurt your wrist” , Soap says from his seat, twirling his pen but looking as intense as the other men.

You just wanted to feel normal again. And you don’t have that much saving and definitely not enough PTO to have all this time off.

“I just need normalcy, please”, and money , you say to John.

He is still staring at you. Trying to figure you. Maybe trying to read your mind you don’t know but you look down at your keyboard hoping for him to leave you alone.

~

In the break room, your warming up a very sad microwavable meal when Simon comes in.

You give a tight lipped smile, “sorry no leftovers today”. He touches your arm causing you to jump, “alright”, he ask.

Shrugging your shoulders, “not really”, you say truthfully. You don’t know but being honest with Simon is easy. Maybe because he doesn’t give you solutions but offers a listening ear.

“I used up all my PTO and I’m for sure in the negative and I can’t afford it”, you say starting at the microwave. Embarrassed. A little ashamed that you everytime something good happens to you another thing ruins it.

“I can donate some of mine to you”, he say.

Your turn to him , shocked, not wanting to get your hopes up. “Are you allowed to do that”, you ask.

(Well first of all , Price was going to pay your regardless, wasn’t going to use your PTO at all, it’s his company, his money. But Simon knows that you wouldn’t want that, he knows that you want to be independent at least for a little bit).

“Already asked the boss”, Simon replies.

You let a sequel, jumping up and down (as much as you could do in a boot). Wrapping your arms around his neck, “thank you , thank you , thank you”, you feel all the stress just about to leave your body.

He huffs, “calm down”, grabbing you by the hips , he holds you in place.

He holds you closer, your chest to chest. Unconsciously matching your breath with his as he leans forward and buries his head where your neck meets your shoulder and inhales.

“Everything okay”, you ask. Holding your arms in the air unsure what to do with them. You know for a fact this inappropriate for work.

“Missed you”, he mumbles.

You didn’t really get a lot of time with him before getting hit by a car and everything.

You close your arms around him, leaving a little kiss on his head, “missed you too”.

[endereies]

ATTRIBUTES AND QUALITIES - MS - BLURB

Pairing: bf!matt x gf!reader

Contains: The details of Matt as your boyfriend, on and off camera

Requested?: yes by @bernardsbendystraws - Request

Author's notes: This shouldn't have taken me so very long to write but neither should almost everything on my platform

Word Count: 1692

╰┈➤ SFW

༊*·˚ You both tended to avoid social situations, this included date nights

You had fixed your dress one too many times for it to slip Matt's conscience. It was adorned with two perfectly symmetrical bows which lined the skin of your shoulders. They barely reached the built in corset line, covered in a soft silk. It was so barely blue to the point where you could only see it in the dim lighting of your room. Pleats curve at your hips and flow to your knees. It was clear how much you were smitten with the fabric. Matt watched you steal glances at the mannequin poised at the front window, hence his insisted purchase.

Delicate touches, traced your hips from behind and as much as you felt unease within the situation, you melted into his touch. "Hi pretty" His voice felt so pure against your neck and you couldn't help but giggle. A few peppered kisses later, he leant back to watch the reflection of you both in the full body mirror. Knitted material covered his arms, covering sections of his darker belt. That was wrapped round his light-wash jeans that became a staple in his wardrobe.

"Hey Matt" It was a timid voice that escaped your mouth, you hadn't meant for it to. It faded into the air but when you finally looked up you were met with Matt's gaze, falling heavily on you. He smiled against your neck, allowing his breath to tickle he skin.

"You don't want to go out tonight do you..?" Guilt filled you almost instantly. You were aware that he had made reservations at this fine dining place he pointed out one late-night drive. It was a high end place but the atmosphere was one to be appreciated. Yet tonight you were dreading it.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I know you booked this fancy place but I-" His fingers quickly silenced you as he pressed them against your lips. He dryly laughed and turned your chin to face him directly. "I was hoping you'd say that..I just want to watch movies alongside you. How'd you feel with that, love?"

You sighed deeply, letting yourself relax onto him. "I'd love nothing more."

༊*·˚ He loved to make you feel safe and loved whenever he could

The last few days had been filled with thunderstorms that stretched into every evening. Tonight was no different. Several hours had gone by and nothing showed signs of the storm easing up. Clouds remained dark and your window was covered in drops of rain that sped down the glass. It wasn't that you hated the way the clouds lit up to reveal the purple hues. It was the way the thunder clapped unexpectedly that made you tense. It was deafening and not even the steady hums of your playlist could block out the sounds.

You had given up the idea of sleep and simply attempted to sleep between the duvet and pillows of your bed. Bunches of fabric were huddled near your chest and practically covered your face.

"Baby? I'm home!" Finally Matt had come home from his filming session that got cut early from the rain. They all agreed it would be better to continue when sounds of water and lightning didn't fill the mic.

He wasn't oblivious to the way thunder made you uneasy, he had seen you more than once feel uncomfortable and refuse to relax. Although never this bad.

Once he was met with silence, you heard him wonder around the house. It wasn't long before he creaked open the bedroom door. You could see the way his expression softened thanks to the bursts of light outside.

"Are you okay..?" The answer was obvious when he saw stray tears lingering on your cheeks. Rustling was quickly caused by the shaking of your head, not trusting your voice to not let you down.

He caught on your feelings instantly and slid under whatever duvet you hadn't bundled at your chest. You felt his body slide next to yours, the warmth welcoming. A sudden crash of thunder echoed through the room. Matt would be lying if he said it didn't feel good when you immediately reached out for him with closed eyes.

"You're okay baby.." Reassuring words slipped past his lips as he caressed your hair gently. "I got you."

༊*·˚ He always managed to slip your name into a conversation

Tara had thrown one of her iconic parties and as per Matt's request, you were by his side. Finally meeting some people you had dreamed of seeing for years, it was safe to say you were happy.

The whole night you were beaming alongside Matt and his friends. Dressed in a light silver dress that has small glitters embedded in the fabric, Matt could watch the way you shined forever.

"Hey baby? I'm gonna go with Nick and see Tara for a moment. I'll be back" It was hard to suppress a chuckle as his brother pretended to gag at the pet name. "Go ahead y/n."

With the lack of vibrant lighting, he easily lost you in the crowd but once he turned around he caught the eye of Jake. "Matt, didn't think you would turn up if imma be honest." His eyes took in his outfit, carefully put together. Laying on his wrist was a bracelet that caught his eye. "Woah, nice bling. How much was that?"

"Oh, I'm not sure, my girl got it for me a few weeks ago. She asked if I could wear it to match her dress tonight." A knowing smile crossed Jakes's face and a slight laughed escaped his lips. "Ahh is that so."

༊*·˚ He hates the way you think so low of yourself and would always defend against any negative thoughts you had

You had been shopping around stores on one of the rare days that Matt had no work on. You had been invited out to an event with your friends so it only seemed fitting to find a specialized outfit.

He was patiently sat outside the fitting rooms with the assortment of bags surrounding his feet. He saw a figure walk out and when he finally lifted his eyes, his jaw dropped. You were wrapped in a gorgeous red fabric that was cinched at the left side of your body. It had laid gently across your mid thigh.

You opened the curtain and revealed your outfit to Matt. "Woah.."

"I know, I'm not really a fan of it, I mean.." Your words trailed off as you looked down towards your stomach and hips.

"What are you on about? I'm obsessed with the way this looks on you, It looks even better when you feel that way too. This dress highlights your best features, baby. All of them."

You placed yourself in front of the mirror and tried to brush down any features you felt mildly uncomfortable with. Matt had come up behind you and placed his hands on your hip while resting his chin on to your bare shoulder.

"My pretty girl." He sighed into your neck and that was enough to pay for the dress with your Matt's card later.

༊*·˚ He would always pamper you whenever you felt unwell / on your period

It had been about an hour since Matt left your apartment. All you asked was that he pick up some chocolate to satiate your cravings, which had been an upset for the past six hours. The sharp pains in your stomach had only gotten worse, even after medication. Every time that Matt crossed your mind it only made you feel so needy, clingy. Like a burden.

Little did you know that Matt was rushing around several stores for more than your sweet treats. Any time you made a comment about something you liked, he made sure that you got it. A bouquet of your favourite flowers had ended in his basket, along with an assortment of treats, a candle with your preferred smells inside, a pink bath bomb and of course, Pads and tampons.

He hadn't meant to take so long but when you finally heard the front door of your apartment click open you were full of relief.

The gentle knocks on your bedroom door spurred you to sit up against the headboard, the hot water bottle across your midriff.

"Hey sweetheart, I'm back" His voice was meek, as if you had barely woken up.

"What took you so long, Matt? Did you get lost" A slight giggle passed your lips, met with a shake of Matt's head.

"No, baby. I just went on a little spree." That's when your jaw dropped. Finally, he pulled the bags from behind the door and placed them heavily at the end of your bed.

"So, at first, I was only going to get you the chocolates, but then I saw these Haribo's I remember you practically stole from me because they were 'too good to resist'." The bags of confectionary rustled on the blankets. "Then I saw this candle and it was blue, which grabbed my attention. Then I saw it was your favourite so of course I grabbed it. I had to get you pads and tampons. I know you alternate so I grabbed both kinds." A small pile began to form at your feet. "Oh! I also saw some fuzzy socks so they went in and i stopped at Lush to get you a bath bomb. They didn't have your normal one so i got a back up one for you!"

His gaze finally met your eyes, staring at the pile with tears forming. It was obvious you weren't blinking so that you didn't cry. You knew if you had tried to speak, your emotions would quickly be revealed. if they weren't already by your expression.

"Y/n..? You okay.. did i do something wrong..?" With an insistent shake of your head, you denied his words.

"You did all this for...me?" You looked up to him in mere disbelief. "Of course I did. I always will. I can tell you needed this."

"Matt...thank you.."

"You can thank me once I've run your bath, okay love?"

────────────────────˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗───────────────────

@melliflws @axolotllover225 @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerslover @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @sleepysturnss @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 11 (Part 3 of 3)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. Was. Until. Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture. You welcomed him into your life—your home. Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want. At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); angst; recollected memories of traumatic situations; crying + feelings of sadness; self deprecation; use of heart monitors; sexual/manual stimulation f!receiving (both by jake and not by jake); Agoraphilia; vivid memories of sexual encounters; body changes as a result of pregnancy; talks of baby + pregnancy; jealous!jake; possessive!jake; jealous!reader; gender reveal; pregnancy hormones; reader is emotional and making rash decisions; reader and jake continue to be STUBBORN; cheating; lots of jake’s pov; heavy petting; kissing of the neck; drinking game; excessive drinking; very sad and drunk Sammy :(; Maya begins showing her true colors (as usual, PLEASE lmk if i missed anything that is triggering to you!)

Chapter 11 (Part 3) Word Count: 42.8k+ (yeahhhh… when I tell you I’ve been working on this one for months, I mean it. Chapter 12 is also now a continuation of this chapter bc of the paragraph limit… so, let’s just say the length is… intense. I’ve been writing lots of words for the past few months lol)

a/n: I'm back and I missed you all so incredibly much. Now, onto the downward (or upward?) spiral of our beloved Covet! The rollercoaster ride is far from over... ;)

as always, big thank you to @joshym for being the best sister there ever was and supporting me in my writings + pursuits + listening to every time i have anxiety over my writings <3 i love you to the ends of the earth, lis. you're my person. <3

an additional thank u to @allof-ourlove, @alwaysonthemend, @builtbybrokenbells, and @welightthefire. Thank you, my loves, for always having the right words to encourage me amidst life’s stresses. I love you guys so much.

Please enjoy the playlist as you read 🖤 (fr, i listen to it nonstop when i write this.... all of the songs are pertinent to the story and aid in telling it - either already or eventually.)

Covet Masterlist

-🌼🌼🌼-

"To the covetous man, life is a nightmare. And God lets him wrestle with it as best he may."

Henry Ward Beecher

-🌼🌼🌼-

Late July, 2022

You were not able to contain the huge grin that stretched across your lips. The giggle that escaped as you brushed your teeth was unstoppable. 

Thankfully, you were able to aim your pasty, minty spit in the sink, done with brushing, as the sound bubbled up. 

Jake had brushed his teeth just before you’d bombarded his morning routine time, purposely invading his space. 

What? You couldn’t get enough of him. It was undeniable and you’d decided to just live in the moment. 

And the moment had ended up becoming you, watching him pee as you followed his lead in brushing your own teeth. 

You’d woken up in his arms this morning. No sex the night prior, and none after you’d awoken. Just wanted to sleep with him the night before. Sleeping in his cozy bed was better than sleeping in yours. Being in his strong, sure arms was unlike anything else. He was so warm, safe— equal parts hard and soft. . . 

God. You truly couldn’t get enough. 

Which was why you didn’t leave the bathroom when he inched his pajama pants down just a bit to pee. The top of his ass, peeking out above his waistband. 

You wanted to blame it on the fact that you couldn’t leave due to brushing your teeth. . . but you knew that task could easily be finished in the kitchen sink. You’d done it enough when Elsie had lived with you, always hogging the bathroom. 

But. . . That wasn’t what you’d wanted though. Didn’t want to brush your teeth at the kitchen sink.

The domestic feeling surrounding you was what you wanted. You liked this. No worries or cares, complete comfort in the presence of another person. 

It was different than anything you’d ever had before. 

You had never experienced such a wonderful companionship with someone. Someone you could have world-ending sex with, just to witness that same person using the bathroom. No shame on his end and there was absolutely no shame on your end either. 

It just felt right. 

But, when you glanced over to your bathroom partner and actually got a good look at him peeing, the little spurt of a laugh that trickled from your lips as you spit. . . It came naturally. It was more than humor that came with the laugh, though. 

It really wasn’t because you found it to be a funny moment. The laugh hadn’t come at all from feeling humorous. 

It came smoothly, softly. And strangely. . . appreciatively. You appreciated this moment — appreciated all that came with Jake. 

“What, Miss Toothbrush?” He questioned with a jokingly accusatory tone. His whiskey colored irises peeked at you briefly before he leaned forward to flush and close the lid. He was tucking himself back in his pants, now, and your eyes refused to leave the sight. “Have you never witnessed a guy peeing before?” 

Actually. . . Hm.

“No, I haven’t,” you responded, still quietly smiling at the whole situation, your own eyes flicking to his face. Your brows crinkled. “I’ve just. . . I’ve never had this with anyone else. Never felt this good with anyone but you.”

“Oh?” He asked, eyebrows raising as he adjusted himself in his pants. “And what do you mean by that, my fair maiden?”

What did you mean by that? Shit. 

You moved back from the sink, thoughtful and worrying at the words that’d just spilled from your lips. Meanwhile, you swiped the same washcloth across your mouth he’d used to wipe his. Didn’t bother you at all.

Your steps led you to sitting on the toilet seat.

As the cold, ceramic lid touched your bare ass, you realized. . . It felt completely natural and right to use the same damn towel, too. Fuck. 

Why did everything feel so right? So natural? This hadn’t even been going on long enough for that. You’d only met him a couple of months ago, for God’s sake. 

And all this arrangement really was, was just two roommates who liked to fuck. . . If you could go so far, you’d even say two friends who liked to fuck who also happened to live together. 

That was why you felt good. Because of the incredible sex. . . Right?!

As he went about washing his hands, you clutched the small towel in your hands. You squeezed it so tight, your knuckles turned white. But you had to hold onto something. You weren’t sure what you were feeling and it stressed you the fuck out. 

Though before your mind could spiral any further, the sink was shutting off and Jake was placing his freshly dried hands on your bare legs, slowly coming to squat in front of you. The way his purposeful hands squeezed right above your knees in reassurance, it made your nipples peak beneath the t-shirt you wore. 

You were wearing one of his t-shirts. Truly enveloped by all things Jake. On theme with the whole damn morning. 

Fuck. 

“Y/n,” Jake began, your lost stare snapping to him. He was suddenly eye-level with you. His mouth was smiling, but his eyes were concerned. “What’s going through that pretty head, baby?”

I don’t know. I don’t fucking know, you mentally responded, worriedly. I’m feeling too much and that’s dangerous. 

“Nothing,” you responded, your voice faltering just enough to make him raise a brow. You cleared your throat, sitting up straighter in front of him. Avoid avoid avoid. You were just overthinking. That was all. “Seriously.” 

With a glance at the shower, you got an idea. 

Perfect distraction. Imagining it already had you shivering with want. 

“You know. . . We haven’t christened the shower yet,” you proposed, looking at him from the corner of your eye. 

His mouth was slightly ajar, having been about to say something. 

Just ignore me, Jake, you pleaded internally. Let it go. 

He wasn’t wavering. His gaze was heavier than normal, trapping you in the moment with him. Wanted you to confess to more emotion. But you decided you needed him to meet you where you were. . . now. Needed him to drop this. 

It didn’t matter.

So, you moved forward to sweetly kiss his lips. His lips, ever so soft against yours. The kiss started innocently enough, but you’d been intentional with it, helping you to deepen it seamlessly. 

Your body opened up to him, your knees parting to welcome him between them. His hands moved up naturally, going to grasp your hips in a strong grip. You moved forward just enough that your core touched his midsection. 

The groan that blossomed from deep in his throat was enough to make your panties dampen. Your change in position caused him to graze his hands up your sides. His calloused thumbs brushed across your tight nipples. You breathed a needy moan, pushing yourself into him. 

Still kissing you and going to fully massage your left breast, he removed the other hand from you to reach over to the shower curtain, yanking it open in one take. The sound of the metal curtain rod interacting with the metal hangers made your clit twitch with desperation. Yes.

When he pulled away from you, his lips were so swollen and pink, freshly kissed. You could’ve cried at the loss of contact, and the way his hungry eyes drank you in. But before long, his gaze moved from you to the shower handle, turning it on with one sure twist.  

As the water heated up, he stood and started stripping himself of his own t-shirt, removed his pajama pants. His thick cock sprang freely from the waistline of them, causing your mouth to fill with saliva. You needed him on your tongue.

Swallowing in anticipation, you began to take off your own shirt. Your eyes trailed up his torso to his face. When you looked up to observe him, he was combing one hand through the front of his hair, tousling it as his eyes stayed on you. 

You felt your warm, bare skin hit the cool yet humid air of the bathroom, watched him as he slowly rubbed a thumb across his bottom lip. A smirk dragged across his full lips. 

Watching as a dimple dipped his cheek, you rose from your position on the ceramic seat. And as you made quick work of your underwear, kicking them to the side, he didn’t move. The tip of his thumb stayed on his bottom lip, his smirk becoming secretive in a way that wasn’t mischievous. 

It was secretive in a way that confused the hell out of you. The look that spread from his dark eyes, all the way down to his mouth. . . it made your skin heat with an unnamed emotion. 

It only took a few seconds of standing naked in front of him to feel the pull to walk to him. After a couple of steps, you met him, wrapping your arms around his waist. With your naked fronts touching one another so intimately, his hands found your face, thumbs delicately tracing your cheekbones. 

“I’ve never felt this good before, either,” he said, voice toned down just for you to hear, against the  rush of water in the shower to your right. “This is. . . more than anything I’ve ever experienced. All because of you.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

Present Day

The nerves dissipated a bit as you observed the perky, pretty blonde tech who walked you to the back. She was a good distraction with her high, swaying blonde ponytail and chipper attitude. 

The first thing she did was send you to pee in a cup with your name on it, to check your sugar and protein levels. Then, as you made your way to the bathroom, she also told you that she was going to weigh you when you came out. 

“And after all of that, I’ll be able to take you to the exam room,” she explained, high-pitched and waving her hands around as if she was a cheerleader. “Yay!”

So, after peeing in a cup and placing it in a window to get checked, you took off your bag and shoes to step onto the old school scale. The mechanism squeaked, showing its age, as you adjusted awkwardly on it to get weighed. Oh, the sacred scale. . . Every woman’s favorite part of a doctor appointment, right? 

Though, your favorite part of the entire experience was the way she was obviously undressing Jake with her eyes as you stood on the scale. Her now-extremely flirty tone as she spoke with him made you want to roll your eyes all the way into the back of your skull. 

The woman wasn’t paying you, the patient, any sort of proper attention. You were convinced she hadn’t even noticed you coming out of the bathroom from peeing in the blessed cup. 

No, instead, she seemed to be solely focused on getting a healthy dose of Jake as you stood and waited on her to notice you. Real cute and professional. 

To your relief, it seemed Jake didn’t notice her flirting. . . or just didn’t care that she was being flirtatious. He appeared to be disassociating from her behavior so he didn’t notice you waiting. He was trying his damndest to keep friendly conversation with her, much like Josh would do (although, you took note of how Jake was quite toned down in comparison to his twin). It seemed difficult for him, though, with how tuned out of it he was.

You really loved listening to Jake talk. You could spend endless hours listening to him ramble on. What you didn’t love was watching the little tech’s eyes trained on his face, the way she bit her lip as her eyes twinkled. She watched him so damn carefully with every word (not many, mind you) he spoke, as she ignored you. 

It was not about to be on you to weigh yourself. And you weren’t about to stand on the scale for a second longer. You weren’t here for Little Miss Blondie with a Body to drool over Jake. It was especially grating to watch as you stood on a fucking scale with a bigger number than you were used to seeing, glaring back at you. 

To put it simply: you were already feeling fat thanks to the unavoidable body changes, you didn’t need to feel vastly unimportant right now either. You could only take so much vulnerability in this state. Clearing your throat with plain annoyance evident on your face, you waited for her to get the fucking clue as you continued to stand pointlessly on the scale. 

“Oh my god, yes!” She squealed. “Silly me. I’m supposed to be getting your weight, aren’t I, hun?” The tech gave Jake a little embarrassed smile that he didn’t see, his eyes instantly coming to set on you. 

He didn’t notice her tiny, ‘pick me’ grin, as he was already walking over to check on you. She was left to trail behind him, still going on about how ‘silly’ she was. Dear God.

“Don’t call me hun,” you replied sharply, done with her little cutesy act. “Pretty sure you’re the same age as me or younger. So, please. Stop that shit.” 

Jake snorted a laugh at your attitude. A hand covered his mouth inconspicuously, fingers tapping against his lips that held a humored grin. Watching her with squinted eyes was all you did as she adjusted the pieces to figure out your weight. And finally, she wrote down your numbers on her chart. 

“S-sorry,” she stuttered, backing up as if burned by your vicinity to her. “I, um, think we’re good to go to the exam room now.” 

After stepping off the scale, you smoothed your sweater, slipped on your white Chucks, and grabbed your belt bag from the table beside the scale. You gave a side eyed glance to Jake, who was waiting on you and watching you with a little sparkle in his eye. He was amused. And at that, you had to smile a little, too. You even offered him a little wink before looking ahead to where the tech stood, waiting to lead you to the exam room.

When you looked forward and saw the pretty blonde a few steps ahead of you, you caught eyes with her. She now looked slightly dejected after the minuscule exchange between you and Jake, that she’d apparently witnessed. Her eyes fluttered down when you looked at her. 

Dear Lord, girl, he’s literally here with a woman carrying his child, you reasoned for her silently, scoffing internally at the tinge of disappointment on her fairy-like features. Have some sense; he’s probably not at a fucking OBGYN office to find a girlfriend.

Not that you were his girlfriend. . . A very upsetting truth. But she didn’t have to know that. 

“Well,” you tried, voice a little lighter with sympathy for her. You understood. . . He was a catch. A handsome catch that you couldn’t have, either. “I think that sounds great. Let’s get a look at the baby, hm?”

At your encouraging smile, she seemed to perk up a bit and even turned with a little pep back in her step to lead you further to a room.

But you didn’t notice much more than that as Jake came up to walk in step next to you, resting a hand at the base of your back. His gesture worked very well at distracting you and dissipating your irritable nerves. 

Fearful of ruining the moment, you kept your eyes forward and walked in good enough time to stay in line with him. Losing his touch was the last thing you wanted.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Thankfully, the tech didn’t stay in the room for long. She checked your blood pressure and other vital signs quickly as you sat on the exam chair, legs dangling.

But, you noticed she lingered on your heart for a while. . . She took her time to check on that. The excessive time spent on observing your heart health helped you to know that your chart had definitely been updated since your ER stint. 

Eventually, she was done and you were able to breathe easier. She made you nearly gag once more when she bounced out of the room, offering a dainty wave and a sugary fuckin’ sweet ‘bye, bye’ (mostly directed towards Jake, of course). 

“Good God,” you groaned, soothing the wrinkles on your forehead with a stiff hand. “She had a little crush,” you commented with a smirk, still trying to mask just how annoyed you truly were. “A lot like Kaia. You’re a damn babe magnet to all these poor women who can’t have you.” 

And don’t I fucking know it, you grumbled internally. Want you and can’t have you.

Jake just sat back in his seat and rolled his eyes, deciding to ignore your jest. But then he leveled you with a contemplative stare, brows furrowed. “Speaking of babe magnets. . . Are you still talking to that guy? Study Buddy?”

Oh shit. How did you even begin to approach that? Were you talking to Theo? Not regularly, by any means. . . But he was always sitting on the back burner in your mind. You made a mental note to reach out to the jock at some point.

Theo sat on that back burner as you waited to make your next move. You still needed to execute your plan of distracting yourself from Jake. It felt necessary. If you were with someone else, it put a  blocker up to prove to yourself that you could be fine with Jake being with someone else. The more time went by, the more ridiculous it sounded. . . But you still wanted to roll with it. 

So, you answered as though you were doing such. 

“Yeah, actually,” you half-lied, looking down to pull your sweater over your hands. Nervous habit. “I actually need to reach out to him and plan our next date.”

“Study Buddy isn’t reaching out to you to do that?” Jake scoffed. “He’s a fucking catch, y/n.”

You imagined him shaking his head in disbelief. And when you looked up, he was doing just that as he crossed his legs. Then, his arms over his chest. But he had no room to judge. One, it wasn’t his business. And two, you just didn’t want him judging. Wanted him to just fuck off with the subject. You didn’t want to think about stupid ass Theo and dates right now. Didn’t want to agree with Jake that yes, Theo wasn’t the best catch. You knew that. But you didn’t want to talk about that with Jake of all people.

So, you backfired. 

“His name is Theo, Jake. Quit calling him Study Buddy,” you rolled your eyes at the ridiculous nickname he’d started that night so long ago. Theo, in your bedroom waiting on you as Jake had you wrapped around him in the bathroom. “The nickname is stupid. Makes you sound jealous. And I know you’re not.”

“And if I am?”

Don’t say that. 

“You have a girlfriend, Jake. A fucking perfect one at that. You shouldn’t be jealous of another man in my life when she is as perfect as she is,” you tried to reason, but the compliment had you near gagging. You were just in complete shock. Why was he being like this? It was confusing the hell out of you. 

“Why are you implying that you’re not—?” Jake started, cutting himself off. He rolled his eyes, ruffling the front of his hair while leaning forward, then back again in his seat. “Fuck, y/n. I know I shouldn’t be. Of course I know that. I can’t fucking control it,” he gruffly stated, running a hand through his hair as his other hand gripped the opposite bicep. His black boot tapped the ground, semi-anxiously for a few seconds before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

When he opened his eyes, he was crossing his arms again, biceps still distracting you as his hands gripped them so tightly through his button down. His voice had calmed down to near-normal next time he spoke. “Doesn’t change the fact that I don’t like imagining you. . . with him. I don’t like imagining you like that with any other man. Much less a fucking prick on a football scholarship. By the way—seriously, y/n? Football?”

“How do you know he has a football scholarship?” You questioned, avoiding the glaring topic at hand. Avoid, avoid, avoid. He simply couldn’t be jealous if you choose to not acknowledge it.

“Context clues. He’s always wearing that fuckin’ Pratt football shit. Shorts, shirts, sweats, hats. . . Fuck.” He rolled his eyes once again. When he looked at you again, his eyes became deeper, showing he was earnest in what he had to say. “You can do better, y/n. Could get anyone you want. As much as I don’t want to see you with anyone, you can still do better than—.”

You were steaming angry. Because he was wrong. You couldn’t get anyone you wanted. The only one you wanted was completely unattainable. Minor recent hiccups in the kitchen and car aside. You knew he wasn’t a possibility anymore. How dare he put you on the spot like this?! Who the fuck did he think he was?

“Goddammit, Jake! Stop!” You snapped, no longer listening and cutting him off. “You’re in a relationship. You lost the right to counsel my dating choices the moment you started dating someone else.”

Someone else. . . As if he’d ever actually dated you. 

And you’re the one who initially let him go, y/n, a serene voice reminded you. Sounded too much like something your damn sister would say. Don’t forget he didn’t want anyone else. You forced him into it.

Not. The. Fucking. Point. You refused to hear the sense of that at this moment.

“I don’t want your opinions on any man I bring into my life. Not your place. I didn’t ask for it and I don’t want it,” you argued, pushing the sleeves of your sweater up, suddenly feeling very warm with emotion. He made you so damn angry. “Keep them to yourself. Never once have I judged you for being with Maya. And I’m the one carrying your baby — having to watch you—. Dammit.” You felt hot tears growing in your eyes and swelling in your throat. Fuck. Not now. 

And still, against your will, you felt a stray tear drop to your cheek. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jake drop his hands and stand up, already making his way to you. “Y/n—.”

You turned your head from him, telling him you didn’t want him to try to comfort you. You were angry. And hurt. (And truly wanted him to hold you so badly you couldn’t stand it.)

With a sniffle, you kept on, saying things you definitely shouldn’t have been saying as you kept eyes on the light pink vinyl of the exam chair. “For the past several months, I have had to think about you fucking her and bringing her around. And having to think about that shit while I have a baby inside of me that we made together?” You paused, making sure to emphasize that point to him. Because it truly sucked ass to have to experience Jake and Maya anyway, but while pregnant with his kid? 

“So you have no fucking right to bring up who I’m seeing. Not your damn business, Jake. And Theo has done nothing but show that he’s a good man. I haven’t ever judged Maya, because she’s a good person,” (slight lie — you’d definitely judged her, but whatever). “So don’t you dare start with all of the jealousy and shit. I, the overly hormonal one, have sucked it up, so you can, too.”

He was closer now, standing right next to you. You could smell his enticing cologne and could feel his presence. Almost touching you, but not quite. He seemed scared to make a move. Good. 

But, really, not good at all. You wanted him close. Whether it was close enough to hug him or slap him, you weren’t sure. Probably more the former, which had you wanting to slap yourself. You were supposed to be mad. But the two more tears that sadly trailed down your cheeks and onto the exam table proved to you that you were mostly just. . . Heartbroken. Plain old heartbroken over not having him. 

“Y/n. . .,” Jake tried again, coming just close enough that his thighs touched your knees, bent to hang off the table. And then his hands were coming to sit on the very end of your thigh, rubbing soothing circles into the flesh through your pants. “Can you look at me?”

You huffed, irritated more with yourself than anyone. But you wanted to blame it on him as much as you could, so you honored his wish and your eyes floated up from the table. Wanted to really make him feel bad.

But, when you found his beautiful brown eyes giving you a sympathetic look, you tried to glare. . . Though, you knew you looked more broken and slightly (very) pathetic. Stupid.

“What, Jake?” You sniffled, one more tear betraying you, trickling down your cheek. 

But before the tear could make it to your jaw like the others, Jake was reaching out to stop it. His thumb swiped gently at the soft skin of your cheek. 

“I’m so sorry,” he said, desperate for you to believe him. His eyes searched yours, which stared blankly back at him. “Y/n, I. . . I—.”

The knock on the door was enough to make the two of you part, Jake even moving back a couple steps. You readjusted yourself on the table, stretching your legs out on it, sitting up in the chair. Tucking the heel of your hand into the sleeve of your sweater, you wiped carefully under both of your eyes as the doctor entered. 

“Hello, hello! How’re we feelin’ today, Mama?” You heard Dr. Rose before you looked over at her. When you did, you first saw her beautiful naturally black hair done in a half-up, half-down. It looked sloppy and intentionally styled all at once.

And, of course, her bright smile showed immediately as she looked over at you. Her bright red lipstick, making her entire look pop, right along with those mid-century-esque black-rimmed glasses. The smile that tugged at your lips was effortless as you engaged in her soothing aura. 

“Feeling good, Dr. Rose,” you responded, keeping your eyes on her back as she prepped the equipment. Jake had chosen a vantage point, leaning against the wall next to your chair. “What about you? How’s life been treating you?”

She looked over at you, momentarily paused with a slightly surprised look on her face. But she recovered quickly with a response. “Y/n, you are just too darn precious. Clients rarely ask me how I’m doin’. Means a lot, babygirl,” she grinned, turning on the monitor. After washing her hands, she grabbed a pair of plastic gloves from the box of them hung on the wall. “As a matter ‘a fact, I’m doin’ great, honeybun. And I can’t wait to see what’s goin’ on with your sweet baby. You feelin’ any better since that visit to the hospital?”

The blush that painted your cheeks at the mention of your visit was unstoppable. Why the hospital escapade embarrassed you, you weren’t sure. It shouldn’t, but it did. Just. . . kind of made you feel weak.

“Y-yes,” you coughed to clear any discomfort from your tone. “I’m just glad we were able to start figuring a few things out that night.”

Dr. Rose hummed in response, motioning you to lay back. And, so you did, as she reclined the seat backwards for you as much as she deemed necessary. Not too far back, leaving you with a really nice view of the screen.

Jake moved slightly, you caught it from the corner of your vision. And you couldn’t stop your eyes from flitting over to him. His eyes, laser-focused on everything happening in the room. And, as if he could sense it, his eyes found yours as you watched his expression change from one of wonder to his own bit of embarrassment that you’d been watching him. 

Or so you assumed that’s why his cheeks flushed. Neither of you cared to tear your eyes away from the other, your gazes locked as Dr. Rose went about her business. Though, when the doctor cleared her throat, both sets of eyes shot over to her quickly, as if you’d been caught. 

You noticed the equipment was ready to go, the monitor completely on as Dr. Rose kept a hand on the transducer, waiting patiently with a smile on her face, ready to begin. 

“I’m also relieved you’ve started findin’ some answers, sweetie pie. Your chart has been updated, thanks to the hospital’s communication with us,” she mentioned, placing a fist on her hip as she stood waiting to start. “So, if you don’t want to, you won’t have to give me any details. But if you want to fill me in on anything,” she dragged the word want out in her Southern twang. “I’m all ears, honey bug.”

“Thanks,” you smiled, the grin lopsided and easy. But your jitters to begin the ultrasound were at the forefront of your mind. “I’m just excited to see the baby.”

“Well, then. I’m excited, too. Let’s do it,” she assured, but just as she picked the instrument up, she put it back. “You know what–I almost forgot the darn jelly! Silly me,” Dr. Rose laughed quietly to herself, shaking her head as deep dimples pierced her cheeks. “While, I grab it, though. . . wanna introduce me to our newbie?” Her eyes shot over to Jake, as she opened a cabinet, turning towards you, her brow raising with a secret grin, aimed at you. 

Your tummy flipped at the realization that you’d, once again, be introducing Jake as the baby’s father. You quickly glanced over at him, and when you did he was already watching you. The way your lips curved up with an unnamed emotion was quick and of its own volition. His expression seemed to match yours.

“This is Jake,” you answered her, with your eyes still on him. But just as soon, you glanced over to her to finish your statement. “He’s the other half of the baby.”

“Oh yes,” the doctor nodded slowly, taking it in. “I remember you mentionin’ him on the phone,” she remarked before momentarily giving him her full attention. A million-dollar smile lit up her features as she stripped her gloves, throwing them away. Stepping forward a few steps, her stilettos clicked against the linoleum before she outstretched her hand to greet him. “Happy to have ya, Jake. Hope to see you at more appointments to come. Were ya busy for our first?” 

She didn’t sound judgemental at all. But the idea of him not being there for the very first appointment made guilt bubble up in you again for not telling him sooner. 

You felt the need to admit to her your mistake of not having told him yet. “He didn’t kn—.”

“Yeah,” he responded quickly, cutting you off. Your eyes flitted over to him. The smile on his face reassured you, a little grin being thrown your way before he addressed her again. “I've been working a couple of different jobs that were holding me up that day,” he covered with a lie. “Worst timing ever and couldn’t get out of it.”

His sincere eyes traveled to you for a second, seemingly letting you know you shouldn’t feel bad. He knew you. A tiny grin found your features at his attempt to make you feel better. His eyes were back on her before you could give him a bigger smile.

“I hated that I couldn’t be here,” he continued, voice faltering as he covered his mouth with a fist. He cleared his throat. The small grin you’d been wearing fell from your face. 

He shook his head and then moved his fist to wave off his words, though, still only looking at the doctor. He hadn’t seen your reaction to his words. “However, my twin got to come in my place, so that’s gotta count for something, right?” 

As Dr. Rose and Jake shared a laugh over a few more words exchanged about identical twins and ‘so-called telepathy’, you couldn’t help but feel a twist in your gut. You knew he was telling the truth that he hated that he hadn’t been able to be there. He could reassure you all day long, and you knew he wasn’t holding it over your head. . . That wasn’t who Jake was.

But. . . It didn’t change the fact that he’d still missed that first appointment and the first chance to see the baby you’d created together. All because you’d been so concerned to keep a secret. A secret he’d absolutely deserved to be privy to. 

“Well then,” Dr. Rose cut in, clapping her hands. “Let’s get down to business, shall we?”

You gnawed at your lip, chancing a look at Jake. He was waiting for you, sending a private wink as the doctor had turned her back. He shook his head. “It’s okay,” he mouthed the words, arms crossing once more over his chest as he came to stand closer to you.

You blushed; he knew. 

Dr. Rose was washing her hands as he continued to move nearer to you. He stopped once he was leaning against the exam chair, laying an arm against the back of it. Your eyes were glued to every action of his. The way his shirt raised the slightest bit when he stretched his arm out behind you, showing the bottom of his firm stomach. The exposed tanned skin, tempting you with how close he was to you. 

Not to mention, with his arm behind you, you felt deliciously surrounded by him. And you got the most incredible whiff of his cologne. Amber, sandalwood, suede. . . Made you feel so warm and secure.

You didn’t even realize you were staring at his abdomen until the doctor cleared her throat. Caught again. Your cheeks heated. Dammit! What in the hell? Weren’t you just mad at him?

“So, you two. . .,” Dr. Rose spoke, bringing your eyes to her. She was just finishing with washing her hands, drying them on a stiff, white paper towel that she quickly deposited into the trash. “I always have to ask— what are we hopin’ for? Boy or girl?”

She browsed the cabinet farthest left, locating the jelly with no trouble at all, obviously, and placed the tube on the counter before pulling on another pair of gloves. 

“Um,” you started, leaning on your elbows, sitting up a bit to give an answer. “As long as the baby is healthy. . . that’s all I care about.”

Dr. Rose made a noise of acknowledgement, but she flashed you a look. “Not the first time I’ve heard that one,” she winked at you, swiping the jelly from the counter on her way back to you. “But what if I told you you got to pick. I feel like everyone has just a bit of a preference.”

Wrinkling a brow, you thought about it for a second. You honestly didn’t have a preference. All you cared about was the baby having Jake’s eyes and smile (and every other feature of his, if possible). Was that something you could say out loud? 

“I know what I’d want,” Jake chimed in from behind you, still leaning against the back of the chair. 

You peeked at him over your shoulder, hair flipping in the process. For some reason, the action made you feel pretty. And when Jake caught your eye briefly, you saw his lips lift a bit more. His expression was soft as he observed you. 

He was looking at you, but addressing Dr. Rose when he spoke next. “I’ve told y/n the entire reason, but I won’t get into it right now for time’s sake,” he began, hip leaning into the chair enough that he touched your arm. He was right there with you. And you liked it that way. “I just know if I could have my pick for the first one, I’d say a girl would be fun. But, y/n is right. . . All I really care about is if the baby is doing okay in every way possible.”

First one. . . Again, referring to more than one child. You eyed him curiously for a moment, making his eyebrows scrunch in response — as if he were asking ‘what?’. But you just shook your head in response.

“Well, alrighty then,” the doctor responded. 

Both of you looked over to her, and you saw her lifting a brow before she flashed her perfect teeth towards the two of you. Her signature red lipstick, an assurance of some weird sort. You barely knew the woman, but she just made you feel good. Then, after uncapping the ultrasound gel, she aimed it above your tummy. “And I just want to make completely sure – you are wanting to find out the gender today?”

Without even looking at one another, you both simultaneously answered. “Yes.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she responded warmly, winking towards the two of you before taking her spot next to you and the machine. “Lean back and lift your shirt for me, babygirl. And, Jake, if you don’t mind switchin’ off those lights, sweetie. I like to have ‘em off for the gender reveal.”

You both did as you were told, but as soon as your bare tummy felt the cool air of the room, you realized. . . This would be the first time for Jake to see your round belly without anything to cover it. In the dark, mind you. But still. . . 

Though, at the prospect of him seeing your naked belly, you weren’t nervous. Not at all, actually. . . it just made you feel all jittery and excited. Then, without any warning (you’d done it before, so she needn’t warn you), she was squeezing the gel onto your stomach.

Just like before, it wasn’t as cold as you’d expect. No, it was still warmer than movies might try to convince you. You felt nerves wrap around you, just like last time, as soon as she lifted the transducer from its spot. Suddenly, you worried that the baby wasn’t going to be okay. That the heartbeat wouldn’t be thumping like last time. . . . That the screen would have sad news rather than happy.

You lifted one hand to your chest, to cover your heart monitor – just waiting for the phone to go off in your belt bag. The anxiety was making your head spin and she hadn’t even touched the transducer to your stomach yet. Your mind was literally going a mile a minute – the heart under your palm, daring to go just as fast.

Then, you felt a familiar hand come down to touch your other hand – the one still laying at your side, nearest him. And when you looked up, two Amber-brown irises met yours in the dark, silently consoling you. The monitor lit up the room just enough for you to see him mouth something towards you. Your skin warmed at the feeling of him being so sensitive towards you. 

“Everything will be okay,” he silently assured, mouth moving just right for you to pick up the words. 

At his words, tears threatened to spill. You couldn’t completely conceal the emotion as one tear slid down your cheek. You didn’t care too much, though – just reached further for his hand, wanting to fully grasp it. Eyes still holding his, you didn’t worry about any repercussions. Considering, there was definitely much worse you’d done than holding his damn hand. The Jeep. The kitchen. 

But right now, you desperately needed someone – needed him. And this was how you needed him. It took no time at all for him to lace his fingers through yours. And it was the most euphoric feeling you could think of at that moment. Holding his hand was making your heart melt in your chest, and the way it soothed you was unlike anything else. Your palms comfortably met, at the same time you felt your heart slow down and your breaths become a tad more even.

When you were safely holding onto him, you felt brave enough to look at the screen. It was awaiting you, just like Dr. Rose. When you made eye contact with her, she was watching you with care. 

“It’s goin’ to be okay, sweetheart,” she reassured you, accent thick. “Ready?”

“Yes,” you gasped, before sniffling once and shaking your head out to rid yourself of the worries. 

Jake squeezed your hand a little tighter. You did the same back. It was heaven. And next thing you knew, the wand was touching your tummy, connecting with the jelly. And as she moved the device over your stomach, she pressed in just a little. But it all felt seamless and gentle with the smoothness of the gel. It was an odd feeling, but nice all the same. 

You were feeling hopeful. It’s going to be okay. The screen lit up with the gray static and the black spot in the middle of it all, that showed the inside of your tummy.

And, as Dr. Rose adjusted the transducer just a little more, pushing just so against your tummy, you started seeing your baby. Right there, in front of you, you started seeing little pieces of your baby’s body. What you saw on the screen was unparalleled. The tiny, exquisite, flawless human. . .

“Would ya look at that!” Dr. Rose exclaimed, her tone doing very little to mask how enthusiastic she was to see what she saw on her screen. “Those arms and legs are lookin’ beautiful. Perfect in length on both of  ‘em.”

She checked a few more things, moving the instrument around on your abdomen a fairly decent amount. Then, as she took a few pictures and drew a few lines on the baby, she mentioned the essentials. Size of the baby. The position of the baby and placenta. The umbilical cord’s normality. And, finally, the amount of amniotic fluid. You heard the entirety of what she took notes on, but you only listened to what you needed to as you continued to watch the love of your life move around in your womb. Your eyes were glued to the moving wonder inside of you.

“Everything seems absolutely exemplary from what I can tell,” Dr. Rose encouraged, from her spot, where she stood at the machine. She clicked a few buttons as you continued to watch the screen in amazement.

Your eyes drew tears and you felt Jake’s hand wrap even tighter to yours. His thumb gave gentle circles to the back of your hand, catching your attention. But when you looked up at him to see if he needed you, he was mesmerized by the screen. You knew there was no taking his eyes from the monitor. And you didn’t want to. 

In fact, your own eyes instantly sought out the screen again when you knew he didn’t need you. You could watch the happenings on the screen for hours on end, the way the baby seemed to move around in your womb. 

“You’ve got a very active little one,” your doctor giggled, moving the instrument around a bit on your tummy. The little circles she made with the transducer at the bottom of your tummy gave you a perfect view of your baby’s movements. 

The way your heart pressed to your chest was unlike any other emotion you’d ever had. The only thing comparable to the feeling you had at this moment was how you felt to see the little bean alive in you the first time. You knew for a fact that the way Jake was feeling right now was unique to anything else he’d ever experienced. You’d been just as transfixed your first time. But, watching your baby, bigger then before, do a little womb dance on the screen was. . . even more exciting. So, truly, you knew Jake was feeling the full range of positive emotions. 

“Are babies always this active?” You laughed, tears pricking at your tear ducts at the wiggle worm on the screen. The wetness sat in your eyes, blurring your vision until you blinked, a couple falling down the side of your face. 

“The happiest, healthiest ones give ya more of a jig,” Dr. Rose noted with pride in her tone. “That means your little one is living a satisfactory life already. You’re taking proper care of your little angel.” 

Suddenly, you felt a tear hit the top of your hand. And when you looked up, you saw Jake’s eyes doing the same thing as yours. In steady time, you saw at least four tears trickle down his cheeks. His other hand was laid across his mouth in astonishment before he took the same hand and brushed it through the front of his hair. 

With a sniff, he pulled his eyes from the screen for the first time and looked down at you, removing his hand from his mouth. His eyes were full of something akin to adoration, a shaky, close-mouthed smile on his lips. Your heart fluttered in your chest at his expression and you gave him the same one back. 

“Thank you for taking care of our baby so well,” he said, voice raspy with emotion. With a sniffle, he wiped under his eyes with his free hand. “You are already the most incredible mom. Our baby is so lucky to have you.”

You couldn’t stop the few tears that leaked from your eyes onto the chair. Those were undoubtedly words you would cherish for a long, long time. You could feel those words slide right into your heart from his lips. 

There was nothing more you could say to that other than three of the truest words you’d ever spoken. “She’s worth it.”

She? Now you were referring to it as a girl. And, in that moment, you realized how very ready you were to know.

“Oh, now. . . it seems Mama might be leanin’ towards a girl, hm?” Dr. Rose cut in, making your eyes float from Jake to her and then immediately back to the screen. Your beautiful, bouncing baby. . . Yours and Jake’s. Together. 

Your eyes continued to follow every single movement of your baby’s when you asked her your next question. “I know it’s stupid to ask because the baby’s mov–.”

“Nothin’ is stupid to ask in here, babygirl,” Dr. Rose reassured you. “This is your baby. Every question is an important one.”

“Thanks,” you said with a gentle smile, pausing your mesmerization for a second to look at your kind doctor. She was holding the instrument to your tummy, but had paused with her eyes waiting for your question. “Is–is the heartbeat normal? Are we going to be able to hear it?”

“Oh, absolutely,” she adamantly agreed. “It’s time for me to hear it and note it anyhow.” Then, her wide, deep brown eyes looked over at Jake and your line of sight followed. “Ya ready to hear that heartbeat for the first time, daddy?”

Daddy. 

“Oh hell yeah,” he said, voice still wet with emotion, zero hesitation in the answer. 

He cleared his throat as the doctor clicked a button and instantly, you heard it. Clear as day. The steady whooshing thump of your baby’s heart rang through the room. It was enough to make you clasp your free hand to your mouth and grab Jake’s hand a little tighter. 

Surprisingly, the tears didn’t fall, but you felt them bubble up in your throat. However, you felt a couple more tears from above you, hitting the top of your hand. 

“Let’s zoom in here,” Dr. Rose encouraged, clicking a few more times to see the baby’s image become even bigger. And when she did, you saw it. The little flickering of the baby’s heart in its chest. “Healthy, healthy heart in this little one. We’re gettin’ about 144 beats per minute. And that’s what I like to call ideal.”

You could have sung a thousand praises for your child, but you didn’t. Instead, you looked up to see Jake’s reaction. And this time, he felt your stare and slowly turned his head to find your eyes, welling with tears. Just like his. It was a moment straight out of a dream. The baby’s heartbeat, echoing throughout the room; Jake’s hand gripping yours with undeniable reliability and comfort; and your eyes, matching one another’s deep level of trust and admiration. 

In that moment, you felt the most connected to him you could’ve ever felt. The screen fulfilled every wish you could imagine, a healthy baby you’d made together – equally and perfectly – him and you. You wanted to trap this moment in time and never, ever leave it.

“Y’all ready to know that gender?” Dr. Rose questioned, a little thrill in her tone. 

The two of you looked over at her after a few more quiet moments of gazing towards one another. “Yes,” you both said, once again, in unison. 

With a smile that seemed to fill half of her face, she nodded. “Alright. You’re going to hear the heartbeat stop, but it just means I turned the sound off. It doesn’t mean anythin’ is wrong with your little babe.”

“Okay,” you readily responded with a warm smile, your heart racing at the prospect of knowing if your baby was a boy or girl. 

In seconds it seemed, the transducer made a few magic moves after she’d clicked the sound of the heartbeat off. Because, suddenly, she’d found a spot that she paused the screen on to take a picture. And, after getting a few more angles of the same spot on the baby, she told you. 

“Looks like Daddy is a little psychic,” Dr. Rose noted with a wink towards Jake, her knowing smirk made your lips widen. No way. “You two are havin’ a girl.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

You were on your way home from the appointment when Josh called Jake. 

The groan you and Jake released was nearly identical. The two of you, having just stared at the Apple CarPlay screen for the first couple of rings. As rude as it may have seemed, you didn’t want to answer. Because, even though you loved Josh, now was not the time you necessarily wanted to talk to him. 

He’d completely interrupted you and Jake recounting almost every detail of the baby. But, when you did hesitantly answer, the curly headed twin was demanding that your little group get together for a night of ‘revelry and good laughs’. And, thankfully, having been in the Jetta, you’d gotten to partake in the twins’ conversation. 

“Plus, Sam could really use some time with the whole group. It’s been a tough week for the little guy,” Josh tacked onto the end, stopping for emphasis. 

The handsome, long haired twin didn’t answer his curly headed counterpart’s request. Instead, he looked over at you with a look that said ‘it’s up to you.’ So, you took control answering all of the questions that Josh asked, Jake gladly letting you take the floor.

“That’s doable,” you paused. “And ‘Little Guy’? Josh, Sam easily has like three or four inches on you, babe.”

“He will always be little. I am older, therefore he is little. Rules are rules,” Josh snarked back, ticking his tongue. “Jake, how do you feel about this woman’s accusations? Being the same height as me and all. . .”

“I’m not the same height as you,” Jake argued, turning on the blinker to exit off the highway. 

“You have an inch on me at best, fucker. That’s nothing,” Josh reasoned, his scoff being heard through the speaker. “Y/n, what are your thoughts on Jake being a snarky ass?”

It took you no time to join in on the jesting. You were enjoying it enough that being part of it sounded even more fun.

“Jake is easily bigger than you, Josh,” you remarked, sending a smirk in Jake’s direction. Jake glanced your way with a wink that made your cheeks go warm and pink. “As is Samuel.”

“Y/n,” Josh started with a gasp, put-on horror in his tone. He was obviously enjoying this, too. “I'm asking about Jake’s height, not his size.”

“Josh!” Jake interrupted before he could say anything further, swerving a little as both of you sat in semi-shock. 

All that ran through your mind was how bold it was for Josh to make a statement like that. . . He was still relatively new to knowing about you knowing about Jake’s — as he put it — size. But. . . the more you thought about it and let Jake chew him out over the phone, the more you realized, it would’ve been like this if Josh had known before. Because, well, it was Josh. 

And nothing was too taboo for Josh Kiszka to discuss. Including the size of his twin’s dick, apparently. 

“Josh,” you started, stopping his rant from the other end of the call. The huff you heard from Jake’s nostrils and the way his skin had become a shade of light red made you regret getting lost in thought. It had made you miss out on something that had Jake blushing hardcore.

Hm. Jake, angry and blushing. It made your own face feel hot and your nipples press a little harder against your bra. You crossed your legs, giving Jake one more side-eye. Fuck, he was so hot. His lips pursed as he tousled a hand through his hair. You crossed your arms over your breasts, creating some sort of pressure to avoid any uncomfortability for the duration of the drive. 

Damn hormones.

You shook your head, remembering you had something to say, facing the road as Jake stopped a little too late at a stop sign. What had Josh said? “Josh. I have only ever seen one of you in that way, so your remark doesn’t even make sense,” you said your piece, giving one more quick look at Jake before your next words. He was still trying to drive straight, lips tightly together. “And I think I can make a good assumption that Jake is bigger anyway.”

“Y/n!” the twins said in tandem, tones worlds different. Josh, praising your grit and Jake, completely startled at the statement. Jake’s face reddened further and he once again ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t necessarily seem upset. Not at all, really, just. . . Flustered and frustrated. 

Hm. . . 

“Now that y/n has completely flabbergasted us both,” Josh started from the other end almost immediately (thankfully avoiding any awkward silence), “Let’s get back to planning. Good on you, y/n. I quite like the boldness. It suits you.”

If only you knew how bold I’d been recently, Joshua. . ., you thought, mind going directly to the night in the Jeep.

You looked over at Jake once more before getting into the planning. For a second, you really worried you’d made him angry. A trauma response of yours, one might say. But, when you regarded him once more, you caught him. 

He’d stopped at another stop sign, and had his eyes glued to your body. In fact, he was so entranced by you that he didn’t even notice you looking at him. His eyes traveled between your breasts and legs. Your clenched thighs, which squeezed together of their own accord at his attention. His stare was fire on your skin. Felt it everywhere. Your arms crossed tighter to your chest, needing more of his attention than his eyes.

A car honking behind you both made his eyes snap directly to the road, never noticing your attention to him. Your face was hot as fuck when you shook your head, playing it all off. The conversation had become too much in that capacity and you needed to plan a damn get-together. You now knew you should probably not spend the night alone in the apartment with Jake. 

Without another thought, you continued planning the event with Josh. “Okay, so. Tonight. Our place. All of that’s been settled. What are you wanting to eat?” You tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, choosing to focus on the sonogram pictures as you placed the hand from your hair on your round belly. “Rather, what is Sammy wanting to eat? Since his week hasn’t been the best, he should probably choose right?”

“Well, let me think!” Josh started, suddenly yelling as if on speaker phone. His voice just a little too loud over the speakers.  

Jake looked over to you at the same point you looked at him, both of your eyes huge at the way his voice truly boomed through the speakers. 

Without a second thought, Jake reached a hand out to turn it down. The tension settled considerably as you cracked a smile at your roommate. Him turning Josh down was pretty fucking funny, you had to admit. But he just kept turning it down, Josh continuing to talk on the other end as Jake turned him completely silent. 

“Oh, now that is nice,” Jake sighed, leaning back. His fingers, still sitting lightly on the volume wheel. “Just how I like Josh. Not talking. Silent.”

You couldn’t help but burst with a laugh, slapping his hand out of the way as you continued to giggle at his action. When you did, you caught a tiny glance at his crotch, which he was trying very hard to cover. He quickly splayed the volume hand over it to hide the noticeable stretch at his zipper.

“Hey, now!” Jake quickly argued, at you making him move his hand. He sounded genuinely worried. Your eyes snapped up to his face, your cheeks red at being caught. Thankfully, though, his eyes were still on the road. Safe. 

You sighed yourself, hand still on the volume knob to hold onto some sense of stability in the otherwise stuffy car.

“I haven’t had a damn moment of peace since the moment I was conceived thanks to that curly haired motherfucker,” he sighed deeply and dramatically. A little grin tweaked his lips, revealing his playfulness. “And now you’re wanting to torture me further with his voice speaking to us over a stereo system? It’s hell. Hell, I tell you.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you snorted, a bigger laugh threatening to burst from your own little grin at his dramatics. It was pretty fucking hilarious, you couldn’t lie. But you had no clue what Josh was saying and you needed to (to slice the tension surrounding you, at the very least), so you reached forward to turn it back up.

And, of course, Josh was still talking as you turned the volume up. Not quite as loud this time, though. “. . .and Jake, you’re a fucking moron. Just because you turn me down doesn’t mean I can’t hear you! Fuckass,” Josh griped from the other end of the phone, additionally verbally tsking Jake from what you could hear. “You’re just too distracted by each other to think about sense.”

Fuck, Josh. Quit. You did not need to play into that, so instead. . . you chose the path of least resistance and defended yourself. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

“I’m sorry Jake turned you down, Josh,” you offered in response, looking over to see Jake’s devious smirk. It made your own lips raise; he really was pretty funny. “Now. Both of you quit this fucking twin banter because it is impossible to keep up with.”

Josh’s sigh from the other end rattled the speakers, causing Jake to dramatically cover the ear facing you. You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help the laugh that trickled from your lips. Still looking at your driver, you spoke to Josh again. “Let’s just keep talking about tonight’s plan before he gets the urge to shut you completely off.”

-🌼🌼🌼- 

Jake’s hair looked so fucking pretty. The length. The styled mess of natural waves, the longer it grew. It was harder everyday to not watch him. And his hair was the lethal weapon, flowing around his shoulders with every action, always pushed over just so at the front. It suited him better than any hair you’d ever seen on anyone.

And you meant that shit. Running your fingers through his long locks sounded blissful as fuck. You bit your lip as you watched the way he’d tucked it behind one ear. But, knowing you couldn’t do that. . .you decided to focus on something else. It was slightly depressing to face the reality of him not being yours, so avoiding it seemed the only key.

Your eyes scanned his form from the back, noting his outfit. Same thing he’d worn today to the doctor’s office, the white linen button-down, your favorite piece. Not anything special or out of the ordinary, but it didn’t have to be. Not if he was wearing it. When he shifted some weight onto a hip, your eyes couldn’t drift away from the way his black skinny jeans hugged his tight ass so well. 

Also, since when was it fair for a man to have such a perfectly round ass?!

Josh’s voice snapped you out of your daze momentarily. You could hear him from the living room as he and Sam argued. You assumed they were arguing over something petty, but you weren’t paying attention whatsoever. 

No, your attention had stayed primarily on Jake as he busied himself around the kitchen. He was putting finishing touches on his (apparently infamous) homemade pizzas. Per Sam’s request, that was what the menu had on it tonight.

You’d opted to stay in the kitchen with Jake as the three others found games to play and records to listen to. So, it was just the two of you, chilling in the kitchen. You had claimed to be helping. . . But you definitely weren’t. Your eyes were betraying you, distracting you with the view of your sexy ass baby daddy. 

The only thing that could distract you was the blessed heat emanating off the oven. The oven was obviously in active use, making the kitchen quite warm. And, being more and more pregnant by the day, you overheated too easily these days. It was aggravating. You’d already changed into goddamn Soffe shorts and a T-shirt (which used to fit normally, and now hugged your belly and boobs a little tighter) in the middle of winter. 

But. . . you were still too warm. Though, you refused to leave the kitchen. The view was just too lovely. So, as Jake worked on dicing some tomatoes, you moved to the kitchen window, opening it quickly to get some air circulating. But, in your rush to open it, you didn’t pay proper attention to the lavender, knocking it over in your haste. 

The precious lavender, which had only ever sat in that windowsill. Mindless, careless mistake. Clumsy fucking ass. You damn well started to tear up, more than a little distressed at the mishap. Pregnancy hormones were elevating everything and you felt like shit for destroying one of your favorite gifts ever. The most sentimental peace offering you’d ever received. 

As you fully registered the clatter, you realized Jake had as well. Coming back to the situation in front of you, you noticed him coming towards you quickly. A worried expression on his face and an offer to help, hands extended. But it was too late. You were near sobbing (again, thanks for the added dramatics, baby hormones). There was floral devastation in your wake. Nothing he could do.

Your eyes trailed to the remnants of the beautiful white pot you’d picked out together on a lazy day in early August, on your way home from the B&G. He’d picked you up. And after, exchanged the terracotta for the small, textured piece. The piece, now lying shattered below you — the pot, once intricately molded on every side to look like lavender. 

Just wonderful. To your extended dismay, you witnessed some of the ceramic scraps of the pot falling into the garbage disposal.

Your lack of care for your surroundings had caused the plant itself to fall at a very rapid speed, right into the sink. While the pot was sad, the possible destruction of the precious plant was making your heart cramp even worse in your chest. 

This little plant—it meant so much to you. For so many reasons, you cherished its presence. It reminded you of happier times, opening up to a man you’d hesitantly let in. The same man you’d ended up caring for more than so many others. . . Someone who changed your life forever – baby or no baby, he’d changed you. Helped you.  

Jake first grabbed your hands to check for cuts and scratches. He’d find none. You hadn’t touched the plant with your hands, only knocking it over with your arms. Was your body really becoming so huge that you were even more of a clutz than usual? God, you hoped not. 

Once he’d done his check on your hands, he quickly dropped them. You assumed he was might’ve been fearful of repeating the kitchen incident with the water. . . and the touching of the boobs. Not that you’d mind repeating it. But, right now, you were so emotional over the lavender pot, today’s doctor appointment, and everything else – that you feared if he touched you, you’d lean into him in ways you definitely shouldn’t. Especially with company right in the other room. 

“Well, fucking fucker,” you muttered, wiping furiously at your cheeks to keep tears away. You stared hopelessly at what was left of the pot in the sink. The plant and its soil, still clinging together in one piece despite the damage. 

Hm. . . In spite of everything, the plant clung together, despite the damage. The sight shadowed a metaphorical song in your head about your own life. Oddly familiar. For some reason, that part of it helped your blood to stop boiling. It offered some bright hope to the otherwise sad moment. The plant was okay. It had been protected. It was still salvageable. No matter what. And that was what mattered most. 

“It’ll be okay,” Jake reassured you, his hand coming up to hold your shoulder delicately. His thumb soothed tender circles into your skin through your t-shirt.

This week really had been worse than any other with getting hot easily. Which, Dr. Rose had said was normal as she’d reviewed current possible symptoms and questions with you. This week you’d just constantly been warm. Your hands found your tummy subconsciously, finding comfort in the bump.

“Yeah, it will be,” you replied quietly with a sigh. Turning slightly, you looked him directly in the eyes. It wasn’t hard, as Jake’s stare had already been focused on you. Your heart fluttered. “Thank you for that plant, by the way. I’m not sure if I have or haven’t said that yet, but still. It deserves a thank you again. . . especially now that I’ve destroyed it.”

“You haven’t destroyed it,” he said with a grin and kind eyes, as his hand dropped from your shoulder. “And no need to thank me. It was the least I could do after being such an asshole.”

“I didn’t need a gift.”

“In my opinion, it wasn’t really a gift, y/n. It was more than that,” he grinned, a hand reaching up to tuck a lock of hair behind your ear. His hand, coming to rest against your neck, making featherlight circles against the skin there. Bliss. “But whatever it was, it was the absolute bare minimum of what you deserved after my act. And in general.”

“Jake—.”

“French Lavender’s elements are essential to one’s internal peace,” he continued, going to cup your cheek. You knitted your eyebrows, confused. But, he didn’t pause, hand still holding your cheek. “It smells good. It’s a beautiful color. Survives in any indoor climate.” 

“What are you–?”

“And it has the highest vibrational frequency of any plant that’s–.” 

No. Way.

“. . .known to bring good fortune,” you finished, remembering this exact explanation. The same spot in this kitchen, but with Josh rather than Jake. 

Game night. So long ago. And somehow, you remembered it. And Jake did, too? How? He hadn’t been–. Wait. “You spied on us that night. I remember!” You laughed, stunned. “Were you listening the entire time?”

A quiet smile lit up his handsome face, the recurring mustache that was only stubble this week moving with the smirk on his lips. “I wasn’t spying. That makes me sound like a fuckin’ creep,” he chuckled under his breath.

The little grin that came with a twinkle in your eye matched his peaceful energy. You felt this moment with him. “Well. . . if the shoe fits, honey.”

Now you were the one saying honey. Today had been a day.

He was once again bringing the hand from your cheek to your neck, tenderly holding the side of it. His thumb skated behind your ear. “Not creepy. Just observant.”

“That you are,” you agreed quietly, leaning into his touch, even reaching up with your own hand to grab his wrist. You made your own little shapes against his wrist with your thumb. There was a minute or more spent just standing there, letting him hold you in the soft, serene moment. The world’s noise was muffled around you. After a little bit, your brows crinkled again as you saw his eyes travel to your lips. “How did you remember it so well?”

“Everything you’ve ever said is important enough to remember,” he plainly stated. “Simple as that.”

“I don’t know about that,” you shook your head, flushing. With the action, his hand moved. And, rather than letting it drop, you caught it in your hand on its way down. Didn’t want to lose his touch. 

Rather than freezing for a second at your touch, he didn’t make it obvious that your action had deterred him. No, his eyes still read the same and his lips still sat in a secret smile. “I do know about that, baby.”

Baby. You could crumple in tears again at the name. . . How you missed it coming from his lips, only for you. . .Again, you just stood there, appreciating the moment. It was as though nothing had changed. So, you kept talking. As if it were still summertime, the world still made special for you and him. 

“Well. . . do you agree?” You muttered, soft enough for only his ears to hear.

“About?”

“French Lavender? Lavender? Its elements?”

Jake’s eyes traveled above your head and his lips pursed, pondering. He squinted slightly in thought before coming back to you, meanwhile maneuvering the hand you’d caught so he could easily hold yours. Your fingers laced together effortlessly. 

“I’m not sure,” he started, eyes going from your hands to your belly, then your lips, your nose, and finally your line of sight. “It might have been partially the lavender that brought me peace because I truly believe in its aid to human consciousness. But. . . I think the reason I felt better was because of you. I decided to get over my shit and pursue something with you before the lavender ever touched our apartment. You made me see the light. The plant just helped you see me for me. And not the dick I’d been to you at the beginning.”

“I always knew there was more hiding underneath,” you somehow managed past your lips, stunned at his words. “Your eyes are a window, Jake. I could see you. That’s why you pissed me off. Because you wouldn’t let me see you. But—you’re right. . . the lavender helped me see you. When you gave me the plant, that’s when things started opening for me. When you started opening,” you explained, reaching your free hand up to touch his face. 

The thumb that traced his growing facial hair couldn’t be stopped. He closed his eyes at the soft action – but only briefly before he opened them to watch you as you continued to speak. “But I do understand,” you started, brows knitted. “Not trusting. Trusting someone new is hard. Trust is hard. And then I broke yours.” The following words slipped from your lips all on their own. “Worst fucking mistake.”

His hand squeezed yours, fingers still entwined. “Not broken,” he said lowly, the words honest from his chest. 

And, without taking any time to consider it, you knew you needed him to touch you in one special place. Slowly, you moved your tied hands to your tummy. You unlaced your fingers from his, and used the hand to place his open palm on your round belly. The little belly that held a part of him inside. Your breath caught in your chest as you watched tears form in his eyes as he took in the sight of his hand on what you’d made together. His lips formed a shaky smile, eyes finding yours. This time, though, his eyes were different. It was as if something had awoken inside of him and his eyes looked desperate to share it with you. 

He backed you up until your back lightly brushed the counter that faced away from the living room. It was private. You could tell he wanted privacy. To hold your belly? 

You soon realized why he wanted the little nook, away from eyes. Before you could register what was happening, his lips had connected with your neck. He lazily gave open-mouthed kisses to the same place he’d been holding earlier. You shook at the pillowy plushness of his lips on your skin again, your eyes closing on their own. The sigh that brushed past your lips caused his thumb to move against your tummy. The digit, sure in its motions as he rubbed soothingly against your belly, tracing something into it. 

You naturally rolled your neck to the side, giving him better access as he went to nip at your earlobe. His thumb repeated the pattern he’d begun. The same combination of shapes every time. What was he–?

It was difficult to pry your eyes open amidst the feeling of relief that washed over you. But, still. You did. You had to know. “Jake,” you started, his name a breath on your lips. “What are you–?”

“Jacob!” Sam squawked from the other room, with an urgency and rush of anxious energy. 

It took absolutely no time for the two of you to separate, realizing you would soon no longer be alone in the sanctuary of the kitchen. He went to lean against the same counter he’d been using to prepare the pizzas and you stayed put in your spot against the counter. He ran a hand through his hair and ran his palm over his mouth and chin, refreshing the best he could as he looked down, shaking his head. 

Then, he wiped his lips with the pad of his thumb. Your heart hurt at the motion, but you understood. You had to stop doing these things. Letting them happen. Initiating them. Both of you. Had to stop. 

Ignoring the ridiculous train of thought, you fixed yourself, too. You fluffed out your hair, laying it against your shoulders to cover your neck. The pieces you tucked behind your ears, simply to fight against the onslaught of heat you were feeling from the kitchen and now Jake. Thankfully, the open window helped bring in a cool, crisp, wintery breeze. Shit. The window. The plant. You needed to clean up your mess in the sink.

“Y/n, baby,” Jake stopped you as he saw you move, staying in his spot. You looked over at him, raising a brow in his direction. “Not the broken pieces. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“I’ll be fine, Jake,” you argued, bending to grab a Walmart bag from the snake that hung in the cabinet below the sink. The task was harder than need be with a belly in the way, but not impossible. It took you a bit to figure out how you were going to bend. . .

Apparently noticing the struggle, Jake lunged in front of you before you could get all the way down. He grabbed a bag for you, shutting the wooden door to the cabinet before you could try to out-stubborn him by getting another bag. 

He handed you the bag, to which you rolled your eyes at him. He wasn’t looking at you, instead still watching the doorway to the kitchen before turning to place a pizza he’d just finished before your mess, in the waiting oven. 

Bag in your hand, you started collecting the ceramic shards. You were grateful they were bigger pieces, avoiding the prospect of nicking yourself. Jake did have a point at you possibly getting hurt. You’d give him that. Then, as you heard Sam’s bare feet slap against the kitchen floor, you looked over your shoulder in the direction of the sound. In your peripheral, you saw Jake’s head snap in the direction of the kitchen doorway as well.

“Jacob Thomas!” Sam screeched, his face equally serious and joking. His eyes were bright, but his tone was sharp. “I have a bone to pick, brother.”

“What, Samuel?” He asked, eyebrows bent in at the rushed, borderline accusatory tone that had come from his baby brother. “Why the full name?”

Josh and Daniel were hot on Sam’s tail, both walking into the kitchen with exhausted expressions as they followed his ass. They both seemed flustered and grumpy. . . And with the way they stayed close to him, obviously not letting him talk to Jake alone, you wondered if them being near had to do with whatever it was he had come to report to Jake.

Sam was oblivious to the exhaustion and didn’t let their presence stop his huff as he stood firm in his place. He was slightly wobbly as he grabbed onto the counter you’d just been leaning against to stay upright. “Woah,” his eyes bugged at being unsteady. His body weaved as he stopped for a second to offer one of his signature vibration-laughs at himself. “Well dammit, I think I’m drunk!”

“Oh, no, Sam. Really? Wouldn’t have guessed,” Josh chided him from the fridge, where he stood behind Sam.

Sammy’s cheeks were balled up and bright pink from the amount of alcohol he’d had to drink. He ignored Josh altogether, staring straight at Jake when he hastily addressed him. “Where is your damn phone, brother?”

Jake felt at his pockets. “Oh, fuck. In the car, I think. What’s going on? Is it mom? Dad? Veron–?”

“It’s not even close to that serious, Jake,” Josh chimed in, trying to soften Sam’s theatrics. 

“Josh. Shut up,” Sam instructed, still looking at Jake. “And, Jake, if you must know, Maya called. That’s what. Perfect, beautiful, gorgeous goddess Maya. She told me she’d reached out earlier around the end of the appointment. Told me you didn’t answer then either,” Sam loosely informed Jake, standing a bit wobbly, yet effortlessly sassy with a hand on one hip. 

He seemed genuinely frustrated with Jake’s lack of communication before he took a swig from the red solo cup in his other hand. The one sip took long enough that the rest of you were exchanging looks at Sam’s behavior. Your expressions were all very similar: wide eyes, squiggled brows, and shaky grins that switched to pursed lips off and on. He was on his way to being completely gone and it was only 6 pm. All of you, seeming equal parts concerned and amused. 

The twins seemed irritated. Josh, concerned, but more frustrated. Jake, annoyed with Sam’s spiel. Neither one, here for Sam’s antics and it was clear as day.

When the youngest brother finished his long sip, his wide eyes were back on his brother, no longer judgemental. A miracle. Apparently tonight, all it took was a quick drink to flip the switch. “She was just really excited to hear about the appointment. Wanted to know how it went. Curious over the gender.”

“Oh,” Jake plainly responded. He seemed unbothered. It made you pause, but he kept talking before you could question it. “Well, we’re not telling the gender yet. She should understand that. It’s common sense,” he explained, brushing some hair behind his ear, his jawline exquisitely accentuated with the motion. “And I can’t help that I forgot my phone in the car. Shit happens. We used it for directions to and from the clinic and my mind was in other places when we got home.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You appreciated how firm he’d been about the gender not being revealed to anyone but the two of you. That was hot. And, he still wasn’t jumping to go get his phone or anything. 

“Well, whatever,” Sam rolled his eyes dramatically, snorting. “I told her to bring her sweet little ass over here and join the party!” Sam exclaimed, Jake scoffed at his brother, shaking his head. His eyebrows settled momentarily, giving the younger brother slightly more attention. “I told her you’d mentioned it to me. That you wanted her here.”

And, Jake’s expression was stern once more. “I didn’t ever mention it, Sam,” Jake griped back.

“I know, I know. But I’m sure you were going to,” Sammy spouted back like a noncompliant child. “Because you loooove her, Jake. I’m sure you were going to invite your girlfriend to this. Just be glad you have a good one, Jake.” He cracked the ‘k’ sound in Jake’s name, sticking his lip out. “Feel like I have to appreciate her for you sometimes. You don’t understand what you hav–.”

“I understand how incredible she is,” Jake interrupted, cutting the younger brother off. He seemed aggravated, but his words still hit your heart unpleasantly. He wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it. He thought she was incredible. “Thank you for inviting her, Sam,” Jake finished, seeming done with the conversation entirely. 

Was he actually thankful she was coming? You couldn’t tell. Either way, your stomach felt as though it had fallen to the bottoms of your feet. The heaviness at the idea of Maya being with all of you tonight was making you feel sick. Your eyes snapped for a glimpse over to Jake, and he was doing the same towards you at the exact same moment. You’d felt him looking at you, perhaps gauging your reaction. But, even though you were feeling it all, you were not showing a whole lot. You were working on it. Every single day, you worked on not letting it show how much you despised her presence.

“She’s on her way,” Sam cut in again. Your ears were ringing.

 But before Jake could say anything, Josh hopped in. “Y/n. How about you invite that guy over? The one from your classes? Heard you’ve been hanging out with him. . .”

You really didn’t want this night to turn into anything. Didn’t want Maya here. Definitely didn’t want Theo here. And you already knew you would be putting on some sort of show if Theo were to show up. You’d try to force things. For your experiment.

Tonight, though, you didn’t feel like forcing anything. Not after such a special appointment like today’s. Not after what had just happened in the kitchen, only moments ago. You wanted time with your friends after an incredibly special day spent with Jake. All you’d wanted was a night with the guys. Just like it had been before. You wanted a comfortable, calming evening.

The more you’d thought about it, it’d honestly seemed like perfect timing when Josh had called earlier. A wondrous cherry on top of a beautiful day. God, why had Sam invited her over? You knew it was most likely because of his drunkenness. But. . . why did he have to be so drunk at 6 pm? You still didn’t know why his week had been shit.

Wait. Hold up. Josh had brought Theo up as a possible guest. How did he–? How did Josh know about your current situation with Theo? You hadn’t talked to him about. . . Oh. 

You peeked over at Jake, who was suddenly turning in the complete opposite direction of you. HIs back to all of you as he went back to the pizza. He had to be to blame. Right? Someone had been complaining to his twin. You were sure of it. How else would Josh know you’d been talking to Theo? And why did Jake care about it so much? When he had his girlfriend, who was seemingly perfect? What the two of you had. . . it wasn’t solid anymore – had it ever been? And what he had with her was concrete.

Did Jake really care so much about Theo as to tell Josh? You’d meant what you told him earlier: he shouldn’t care. He should not care. There was only one girl he needed to care about (well, not including the one in your belly) and he was dating her. Maya. Not you. Damn it all to fuck. You were wired to hell over all of it. And Maya was on her damn way. 

The reason it sucked the most was because it was you getting slapped in the face with reality again. All it did was remind you that Jake was not yours. You’d have to spend all night watching them. Real enjoyable.

Josh’s voice pulled you back. “You’ve been seeing him, why not invite him?”

You know. . . He was right. Why the fuck not? As much as you did not want all of the extra people over, you couldn’t stand the thought of watching Jake and Maya being all cuddly while you sat miserably single and pregnant with his baby all night. It was the perfect opportunity to get your mind off of Jake. Even after a perfect day like today. But, today. . . it wasn’t real. It was just a bunch of emotions stacked on one special day about the baby. Not you and Jake. Today was a fairytale. 

Yet, even as you tried to delegitimize it all, your neck burned with the shape of his lips. You wanted more. But more wasn’t yours to have.

All this did was remind you. It reminded you that you still needed to test your theory of falling for another guy to prove something to yourself and to Jake. You didn’t need Jake to be happy. Truly. Seven months ago, you hadn’t needed him. You could get back to that. He was the father of your child. Nothing more.

You could’ve laughed at that fucking lie. Nothing more. A complete falsity, that statement.

You didn’t laugh about it, though. No, instead, you looked at Josh straight on. Your lips quirked the best they could with a plain smirk, “I will, actually. Thanks for thinking of that, Joshy.”

“Well, yeah. You deserve–.”

“You deserve to get your freak on, y/n!” Sam cheered, bringing up his red solo cup filled with God knew what. “All of those pent up baby hormones. I’ve heard about those and goddamn, Dragon. I can not imagine how you’re doing it while being so sexy and single as a pring—!”

“None of that was even remotely close to what I was going to say, Samuel,” Josh cut him off, motioning at him blatantly to zip his mouth. His hand cut a firm line in the air, still as could be. He was serious. Josh’s face was stone still and his mouth was in a straight line, completely void of laughter. He was very angry with Sam for opening his mouth.  You could tell that much. 

“Josh, it’s fine–,” you attempted, getting cut off by the drunk and rambling baby brother.

“Well who cares. Because I’m drunk,” Sam seemed to reason, with nobody and everybody all at once. He looked over at his curly-haired brother, who was raising a frustrated brow in Sam’s direction. “Josh, I’m going to put some music on the record player. If you wanna beat me to it, I suggest you–.”

And, it seemed, Josh was suddenly better again at the mention of music. It took him no time to sprint out of the kitchen, brushing past Sam. You watched Sam laze about after Josh. And you knew Josh was sure to get his first pick. Sam followed slowly out with a dramatic wave, foot over foot. His drink, sloshing over the cup as he simultaneously took a drink.

Then, he was gone. Ruckus over. For now.

“Holy fuck. He is in for a long ass night, huh?” Danny commented, still leaning against the frame of the kitchen’s entry. He’d barely said a word before, keeping a safe place at the back. 

You smiled over at the tall man, feeling sympathy for Sammy and his friend who was trailing behind, cleaning up his messes. Right before you could ask why Sammy was so drunk, Jake started talking.

“Damn fuckin’ straight,” Jake agreed, making your head turn in his direction. He was creating the next pie with a variety of vegetables, with his back turned to you. “Ironically enough, I’m making this damn veggie pizza for him as we speak. Sure fuckin’ hope he’s not so wasted he can’t enjoy it. Working my ass off.”

“He will definitely enjoy it. Promise you, dude. Your pizzas are unrivaled,” Danny reassured.

Unrivaled. You were suddenly intrigued, remembering you’d never tried Jake’s pizzas. In the past, whenever pizza was chosen as the meal for you and Jake, it had only ever been ordered. Did he make pizza for Maya all of the time? Because she was special? Or did he order pizza with her too? Why did it matter?

“Why’s he drinking so much anyway?” You piped up, digging yourself out of the slump your mind was creating. Leaning a hip against the fridge diagonal from the kitchen entryway Danny stood in, you crossed your arms at your chest. 

“I mean, I know it’s fun to just get drunk sometimes. I get it. I’ve done that before. But. . . he seemed a little emotional when he started talking about relationships.” You stopped talking to look down and pick at your nails. The feeling of being a bad friend to Sam was making your heart sink. You were sad that you had no clue what was going on in his life. You didn’t know what was going on in anyone’s lives. 

You felt really selfish. Selfish. Fuck. The word came flashing back through foggy memories, hearing it big, loud, and without any warning. Only hearing it in your mom’s voice. . . Way deep down in your chest you felt how she’d once said it. You remembered the way tears would gather in your throat, too scared to cry. You were made to feel selfish at every turn as a child — even the act of crying. Looking back now, that was fucking ridiculous. 

But your mom was always the first to comment on your selfishness. She’d remind you how selfish you were at every turn — how much of an inconvenience you’d been to her. The words made your gut twist with unknown memories attached to them. You couldn’t locate those memories right now and you were glad you couldn't. Even without knowing what they were specifically, they frightened you. Terrified you. 

Veering away from the unknown, pitch black trenches of memories, you thought back on your mom. How she always told you that everything you did for others was only going to serve you in the long run anyway. She never let you believe for a second that you thought of anyone but yourself. 

And how you’d acted after she left? Towards Elsie? Maybe she’d had a point all of those years ago. Was there any good in you? You felt that term at the pit of your stomach now, weighing you to the fridge. Selfish.

Back to the subject, y/n. Come on, girl. Not the time.

“I’m kind of out of the loop these days,” you surmised, chewing the inside of your cheek with a frown.

“Sammy was actually talking to a girl. Got pretty serious for a few months there. Same chick from the AirBnb, actually. You guys met her. A little off and on for a bit, but they kept in contact long enough. So, for the past few months or so, it’s been everyday,” Danny’s eyes widened as he blew out a breath, taking a sip from the beer bottle he’d been nursing since he got to the apartment. “Been spending all of their time together. It’s been everything to him. They’ve been in each other’s beds almost every night, talking about pets and Christmas family gatherings but. . . She texted him last night with this long winded excuse as to why she couldn’t be with Sam because she had to go back to her boyfriend of like ten years that she’d broken up with right before Sammy,” Danny swiped a hand over his forehead, shaking his head side to side. His long black hair, waving around him with the motion. “So. . . She basically used Sam as a rebound and it’s hitting him in the heart.”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you breathed, repulsed on Sammy’s behalf. He was such a sensitive and carefree guy and this girl had used that. . . Was that what you did with Jake? Did you use him too frequently? Still?

God. Stop it, y/n!

“Yeah . . . He was a ball on Josh’s bed last night, only wanting his big brother to talk him down from it. He really liked her. Probably actually loved her. You know how much Sam feels for others.”

“Feels everything,” Jake noted, sprinkling some seasonings on the pizza in front of him. “Maybe it’s a genetic trait ‘cause I’m right there with him.” 

Danny huffed a laugh, raising a brow at that. He took another healthy swig. “Maybe.”

And then Sam was calling Danny’s name from the living room, begging for ‘back-up’ against the ‘Evil Elf.’ You couldn’t help but snort at the term Evil Elf. You heard Josh raise his voice at Sam’s insulting nickname. But your snort quickly turned into a belly laugh as you heard him repeatedly spouting it at Josh in response. Knowing him, he was probably flicking Josh’s forehead or some shit to emphasize it. 

Damn. . . He was bound to be the fucking enter-tain-ment for the night. You hoped he would be a good thought diverter. 

“You better help Josh in Sam’s attack against him,” Jake encouraged Danny. “I would, but. . .,” Jake motioned at the pizza he was preparing as he finally turned. “I’m on the last one.”

When you caught a glimpse of his face, you saw some of his own amusement at the ordeal. His teeth weren’t showing, but his dimples were present in his cheeks as he gave Danny a loose grin. 

“No, I got it, dude,” Danny responded without another thought on the matter. “You’re busy.”

And, within seconds, Daniel was gone. Leaving you alone with Jake. Jake, who was back to looking at his damn pizza. His strong back, facing you. Those broad shoulders, mocking you. 

You decided not to follow Danny, wanting to stay with Jake as long as you could. Even if he wouldn’t look at you, his presence comforted you. Though, not wanting to be completely distracted by his aura, you tried to busy yourself with an activity of your own. 

Oh! You could make dessert! 

Quickly checking the built-in pantry to the right of the fridge, you saw some brownie mix and a box of yellow cake mix sitting in the baking goods section of a shelf. And without any thought or question, brownies won the battle of what sounded most delicious. 

Brownies suddenly sounded positively scrumptious to you. So, reaching forward, you grabbed them out and placed them on the island. When you turned to place them there, Jake still had his back turned to you. Goddamn. He was doing a stand-up job at ignoring you completely. The silence between you was deafening.

You didn’t even acknowledge him. This would be good. It would be good to ignore him. You just went about your business getting all of the ingredients out and your hand mixer. . . but you needed a bowl. 

When you went to grab one, you noticed the mixing bowls were just a tad bit too high for you to reach. And even though Jake wasn’t the tallest man ever, he was still taller than you. He would be able to get what you needed for you. Perfect.

Ugh! No! The whole point of busying yourself was to ignore him!

Not wanting to give in to the urge to ask him for help, you tried your damn best to just do it yourself. Standing on your tiptoes, you stretched a hand way up for that one clear mixing bowl you always used when you baked. . . So close, yet just out of your reach. A lot like someone–.

“Dammit, y/n, let me get it.” His beautifully raspy voice was suddenly in your ear, but he sounded a little perturbed. All the sound did was make your cheeks grow warm and pink. “Just ask for help.”

He was right behind you, his front side completely pressed to your backside, making you dizzy. And as he placed one hand on your hip to balance himself, you thought you were going to buckle immediately. The feeling of his searing hot hold on the bit of skin at your hip, peeking out from your t-shirt, made you shiver.

His fingers were so close to the bump, but not quite touching it. As he pushed himself into you a bit further, you felt him against your ass, right through the thin material of your black Soffe shorts. He wasn’t completely hard. Not yet. But he would get there before too long if this continued like it had before Sam’s intrusion. You knew him. 

Back in the moment, you noticed his other hand reaching up for the bowl. And, of course, he grabbed it with no problem at all, being tall enough to grab the dish that had been too difficult a job for you. Ugh. You needed him. Even if it were just for a fucking dish. 

When he placed the bowl on the counter, you reached to touch the bowl at the same moment he went to move his hand. And for a brief bit of time, your hands grazed each other. It happened for long enough that you both stilled your hands, appreciating the feeling. . .

He didn’t move from his spot behind you. 

He laid his palm flat on the counter, grounded himself. Boxed you in with his body — the sandalwood, vanilla, and suede in his cologne made your head swirl. You gripped the bowl tighter, enjoying the fact that he’d stayed behind you, but wanting more. His hot breath continued to bathe your already warm neck in the most delicious wisps of air. Naturally, you leaned into him just the slightest bit. Couldn’t help it.

Once more, his enticingly gravelly voice was in your ear. “Was Sam right?”

You turned your head to speak to him more directly, but kept your eyes downcast to maintain some sense of stability. Lowly, you questioned him right back. “Was he right about what?” 

“Are you going to mess around with Theo?” He hushed, breath fanning over your cheek. He spoke Theo’s name as if it were laced with poison. “You wanna take out your baby hormones on him?”

“That’s not your business, Jake,” you breathed back, shakily taking in some air to fill your tight lungs. You moved your hand on his, watching the movement. You gently traced your fingertips down his long digits. His strong hand fidgeted, flexing at the action. Slowly, you went to rest your palm on the top of his hand. 

But when you went to move your hand, he stopped you. His hand quickly turned the other way around to grab yours in a sure grip — seamlessly lacing your fingers. 

“Do you really want him?” he posed the question heatedly, placing a breath of a kiss on your temple, lips brushing your skin. 

“I don’t fucking know, Jake,” you hissed under your breath, pushing your ass into him as he brushed your hair to the side, once again pressing his lips to the column of your neck. 

Before you could think of another thing, he was spinning you around, your back smoothly pressing to the side of the fridge nearest to you. Your breath was heavy enough to emit a gasp at the motion. Just out of view from the guys, Jake kept you hidden, pulling you away from the fridge just a bit and closer to him.

His grasp on your hand let up a little, his palm pressing against the small of your back the best it could with your hand in the way. At the same time, he pressed his hips into yours, showing his reaction to you. Oh.

He kept hold of your hand at your lower back, his arm wrapped close around you. His strength held you in a secure grip, making you feel so safe and at home. . . Just like the lavender field. . . 

Your stomach was pressed into his, there was a sliver of skin where your belly was exposed at the hem of your t-shirt. Your warm skin brushed up against the buttons of his shirt and the soft material. The cottony linen of it felt like a dream against your skin, so close to him. And, wrapping one hand at the curve between your neck and the base of your skull, his soft lips made home on your neck, placing wet kiss after wet kiss on the skin there. His tongue, peeking out only slightly to touch you with every nip from his lips.

He used his hold to position your neck just right, to get the angle he wanted. Your body ignited with heat and desire for him. The way your head fell back and your neck loosened with the tiniest sigh from your lips was unavoidable.

“You keep doing this to me, baby,” he groaned against your neck. Slowly, he lifted his mouth from you, his tongue had been so close to running over your pulse.

But he’d stopped.

“Doing what to you, Jacob?” You grit back, pulling your head up lazily to stare at him. There was fire in your eyes as you peeked up at him from under your lashes. Your chest lifted in heavy breaths.

“I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help but look at you and— and. . .,” he trailed off, gently moving his hand to run a thumb over your cheekbone. His shoulders, sturdy, and curved in to keep you to himself. “I just look at you and want to bend you over and remind you that you can do better than him.”

Your thighs squeezed together, you were aching for him to do what he described. . . Yet, as much as his words made you eager to do just what he wanted in the middle of this kitchen right this second. . . he’d said something you both needed to remember. It was wrong. Though, it was odd. . . Just as much as it felt foolishly wrong, it felt completely right.

But, right now, the wrong was what hung over your shoulders. The guys could walk in at any moment. Maya could arrive (thanks to Sam’s lovely invite) and catch you both. Wrapped up in each other. Goddammit.

“Jake,” you sighed, sadly and resolved to the decision to break up whatever was going on at the moment. “We shouldn’t– we shouldn’t be doing this. We aren’t together. This is–. You have Maya and I have to. . :,” you trailed off, unable to finish.

He didn’t take his eyes from you for several seconds, studying your face. You hadn’t moved. You didn’t want to be the first one to move. His eyebrows drew together in deep concentration. His amber-brown irises showed that he understood when he nodded hesitantly, backing away. You immediately missed the contact. His shoulders were tense and bunched up before he stood up straighter to roll them out. 

But, you could tell how upset it made him, eyes downcast until he was leaning against the island across from you, putting his hands out to grab hold of it when he was near enough. Across from you, he looked up at you with conflict ghosting over his features. He understood the levity of the situations you kept putting yourselves in, but what he understood about it made him angry. Or, at least you assumed. You’d spent several months observing every little (and big) emotion Jake felt, you had a pretty good inclination on how well you could read the man. Most times.

Besides, you felt the same exact way, so you could sense it billowing off of him in waves. 

“I know,” he sighed, his body rigid and eyes emptier than they’d been moments before. He slapped on a smile that stretched a little too tight across his lips. “Just–go rest. I need to wait in here for the pizzas to finish.”

“But I need to make the brown–.”

“I will make them.”

“Jake–.”

“Do you want to make them?”

“Yes, I want to eat some, so—.”

“But did you truly want to make them, or can you just let me do that for you?”

You stood there, at a loss over much more than the brownies. Without any other idea of how to respond, you just placed your hands on your hips, shrugging. In the end, preparing and baking them had just been a distraction.

If you weren’t going to allow yourself to be in the same room as Jake, all you really wanted to do was sit down and rest your feet after the long day. But damn. . .you’d made yourself want those brownies. . . The picture on the box was calling your name. . .

Jake huffed the smallest laugh, but his face was still void of any one emotion.“I know you don’t want to make them, but you want to eat them. Let me make them for you.”

You almost agreed. But, you looked over to the sink. You hadn’t finished with the lavender. You’d gotten distracted.

“The plant. I need to put it in a new–.”

“I’ll get it,” Jake said, his eyes the slightest bit brighter, even though his mouth still held a smile that didn’t look completely real. “You need to sit down. It’s been a long day. Go talk to my brothers or something. I’m sure you’d love to do that and they fucking love you, so.”

Well, it was settled, then. He was correct in all of that.

“And call your boyfriend,” he suddenly said, turning his back to you, tone too friendly. It sounded as though he was suddenly okay with Theo. And you knew damn better than that. 

But you couldn’t question his sudden change in attitude with his back turned to you once again. And why was his sudden shift in attitude pissing you the hell off? Stupid ass shit. It shouldn’t even matter — it just threw you for a loop. You were still so angry and he was just. . . Fine? Not fair.

Ugh. If anything, it should have made you glad that he wasn’t being so hostile about Theo. . . But instead, you missed the way he inflamed at the mention of your study buddy. You missed the heat from moments ago.

You clenched your fists at your hips, digging into the flesh before you decided to pull down your shirt a little to cover your whole tummy. Even if it was only a couple inches of skin, it made you feel exposed and you were not in the mood anymore. 

To test him just a little, you fought back. “He’s not my–.”

“Well, he’s on his way to being it, so might as well start calling him that,” he responded, a little sharper. His broad back still to you, as he went about grabbing the rest of the ingredients.

You stood there for a moment, contemplating what to say – if you should say anything. But when he avoided any and all eye contact, you decided to just leave the room. He was a pro at pissing you the fuck off. And you didn’t want to argue with him over something so stupid and trivial. 

You didn’t make a sound as you turned on your heel and made your way to the living room to be with the boys. Sam, and his loud signature cackle, bouncing off of the living room walls to greet you.

As soon as your ass hit the couch cushion, you were texting Theo. Because, well. . . fuck Jake. Suddenly, you were very curious to see how Jake might react to having him around all night.

Theo took almost no time to respond. 

Theo, 6:23 p.m.: Sure thing! I’ll be there :) Thanks for thinking of me, beautiful!

The term of endearment made your heart leap in your chest, your cheeks blushing as a little grin fit to your lips. Beautiful. Every girl liked being called beautiful by a cute guy. You might as well fucking enjoy it. He was coming for you tonight. Only you. No one else. 

He only wanted you. You were special to Theo. Jake couldn’t say that. There was at least one woman more important than you and he made that clear by continuing to be with her. And, if you were being honest with yourself, you were relieved for it. . .

In your heart, you knew that your graveyard of a past was not something he was responsible for. He didn’t need to be the one picking up the pieces. You’d rather him be with a woman who brought him nothing but joy. You brought doom and destruction. Right? You always had.

You were momentarily distracted as you watched Sam uselessly trying to put his hair in a high bun. Danny was rolling his eyes and soon coming to his rescue. He really was such a good friend. Everyone needed a Daniel Wagner in their life.

Then, as you were texting Theo back with a slightly flirty text, you wondered what the night might entail for you. Playing this damn game was ridiculous and petty, but you had a point to prove. To Jake and to yourself. You didn’t need him. 

Who knew if he cared to realize it. . . But you did. In all reality, you knew Jake really didn’t even care that much. It was more about the baby than you anyway, you were sure of it. So, you contemplated. 

Should you take it a step further? Force yourself out of Jake Mode? You hadn’t been with anyone else for a long-ass time. . . It could be really good for you. Even if it felt a little strange doing that with someone else while Jake’s baby moved around (apparently quite a bit) inside your belly. You couldn’t feel her yet, but Dr. Rose had assured you that it would be coming sooner than later. 

What would it be like when you could feel her? Would that make sex with someone else even more awkward? 

You rolled your eyes at that thought. Duh. It would be like your baby giving you a piece of her mind for giving anyone but her Daddy attention. Well, too bad her Daddy wanted to give someone else attention. And too bad you were too fucked up to give yourself to her Daddy. 

Damn, even though you’d just been pissed at Jake, referring to him as Daddy in your head was doing something to you. Something Jake couldn’t be the one to help you with. Because you were done with the foolish moments.

You knew you’d end up needing help alleviating some of that pent up tension. All of the. . . moments with Jake recently weren’t doing your over-excited sex drive and hormones any good. You were on the verge of going absolutely ballistic if you didn’t do something to ease the pent up energy.

And you were not about to give Jake the idea that he would be the one to help (as much as you wanted it). Not anymore would you give that idea to him. Not when he was so quick to turn you on and just as soon turn his back. 

Fuck that.

-🌼🌼🌼- 

“I call the hard liquor!” Sam excitedly declared as he started fast walking towards the kitchen. 

“Dear God,” Josh grumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer. “Please, God no.”

“Um, absolutely not,” Danny replied, already following closely behind. 

Theo quickly got up to follow the other two, acting like he was somehow part of the inside joke. It was awkward to watch, but you were glad he was up and away from you for a little bit. His arm had been around you all night and it had been suffocating the air around you. Claustrophobia was definitely real. After a few seconds of feeling the relief, it dawned on you what Sammy had said. Liquor. You Laugh, You Drink. This was a drinking game. Duh.

“Fuuuck,” you groaned. For some reason, you’d totally forgotten about the whole drinking part of the game. Even though it was literally part of the title, you’d just skimmed over it. Pregnancy brain.

“What, love?” Josh inquired, brows knit in concern. “You okay?”

“Yes,” you drew out the word with a sad smile and a shake of your head. “I just remembered it’s a drinking game.”

“Oh no,” Maya chimed in, her naturally whiny voice getting right under your skin. It was obvious she was trying too hard to act like she cared.

She sounds like a goddamn Kardashian, you thought with an internal roll of your eyes. 

“Oh, y/n. Fuck. Do we need to find a different game?” Josh wondered aloud, doe-eyed and totally willing to uproot the one game Sam wanted to play. It was Sam’s night and you weren’t about to rain on his already-depressing parade. “We can total–.”

“No, Joshy,” you swatted the idea away with a wave of your hand. And with a hand to your belly, you leaned back, a wider grin gracing your lips. “I’ll just sit here and watch. It’ll be just as fun.”

“No it won’t,” Josh argued, shaking his head. “I want you to participate. Let me think. . .,” He sat there for a second, on the ground, legs crossed in front of him. He had his thinking face on as he tapped a finger to his chin. His eyes lit up after a few seconds, apparently coming up with something. “How about none of us drink and we just get out if we laugh?”

“The drinking adds to the hilarity of the game,” you replied. “Seriously, Josh. It’s o–.”

“How about. . .,” Jake suddenly chimed in to your left, having taken up the arm chair with Maya. Your skin heated at hearing his voice. You hadn’t looked his way since he’d come to sit in the living room an hour or so ago.

You’d been rude enough to not even say thank you for the delicious pizza you’d all devoured. Or the unbelievable brownies that he’d ended up baking for you, swirling caramel in with them and everything. He’d done more than he had to, but you didn’t want to think about it. But, you decided to finally show him a little respect by turning your head in the direction of his voice. 

“How about I don’t drink either and you and I can just play the game by getting out if we laugh,” he paused, probably assuming you’d turn all the way to look at him better in response. You didn’t. “Um. . . Everyone else can drink. It’ll still be funny that way and we don’t have to break Sammy’s heart by taking away the drinking.”

Why was he being so sweet? You hated how kind he could be. It did your heart very little good.

“Jake, no. Don’t do that. I’ll be–,” you began, finally letting your eyes flit over to him. But, he wasn’t looking at you. No, he was watching Josh who’d started clapping. 

Apparently Josh liked the idea. “Great thinking, Jacob!” Josh applauded him from his spot on the floor, across from the three of you. The curly headed twin languidly rose from his spot next to the record player, brushing his khaki pants before pointing towards the kitchen. “If that’s all settled, I’m going to grab a White Claw and assist Daniel in herding Sam back in here.”

Without any time to protest and Josh already on his way to the kitchen, you were out-voted. No drinking for you or Jake, apparently. 

“Well. . .,” Maya dragged in her valley-girl twang, placing a hand on Jake’s arm that you immediately turned your head at seeing. “I won’t drink if you don’t, babe.” 

Your stomach lurched at her acting like she could save the day by not making Jake do something alone with the pregnant lady.

“No. . . it’s okay,” Jake said in return, trying to use a honeyed little voice to reassure her. 

You could’ve puked on the spot. 

“I don’t want you to feel alone, though,” the gorgeous dark-haired woman offered. You were glad you’d been avoiding looking at them all night. You’d watched her walk in and claim the chair. Your chair. Aaand that had been enough. You hated watching her and Jake and it was honestly aggravating how perfect she was in her statuesque beauty. 

“I won’t be,” he reminded her in the same sugary tone. “Y/n isn’t drinking either.”

There was a pause where it seemed like Maya was weighing whether or not that was a valid response. You decided it didn’t even fucking matter to you what she thought. And at T he perfect time, you heard Stevie approach your legs with a meow.  So, you took advantage of her seeking you out and lifted her to sit in your lap. Of course, the cat relaxed easily against your crossed legs (because, thankfully, you could still do that – well, barely). 

But when you heard a hushed voice coming from Maya and Jake’s direction, you obviously had to peek over. Were they whispering about you? 

When you looked their way, you realized it was only Maya doing the whispering. Jake sat there, leaned forward towards you, on the ottoman. His hands, clasped and elbows sitting on his thighs. His eyes were cast down as she said whatever she was saying in his ear, his brows scrunched as if thinking critically over what she was saying.

You squinted at her with her mouth so close to his ear, her hair draped over her shoulder, body turned almost entirely towards him as she edged closer to him from her spot in the armchair. You could see her incredible cleavage from this vantage point. God. As you further observed, you noticed her hand was up to cover her mouth, too. Little fucking secret keeper. This was your fucking apartment – if the bitch had something to say, she needed to say it out loud. 

So, with a clenched jaw and slanted eyes, you addressed it. “You know, May–.”

“It’s fine, babe,” Jake spit out before you could say anything, his eyes flicking over to yours as if to say ‘It’s not worth it.’ “I don’t care that much. You have fun. I promise I’ll still have fun, too. Have you met my brothers? They don’t need alcohol to act like idiots. Y/n and I will get to stay in longer anyway. . . No one will even notice if we laugh,” he tried to joke.

Maya’s eyes were downcast as she rubbed Jake’s arm, squeezing his bicep. You watched her finally come over to him and drape herself over his lap, slowly going to get up for alcohol. One ass cheek sat on the ottoman next to him, and the other practically on top of his lap as she went to get up. But, before she could, you watched in horror as she rubbed salt in the wound. She cupped both hands around his cheeks and brought him over to her. And, sitting there, still petting Stevie, you got to gloomily witness Maya wrapping her lips around his. It was in the most sultry manner (or was that just her?) – laying her claim on the man whose child you held inside of you. 

Being the person on the opposite side of this made you want to fucking puke. His eyes, closing in appreciation of the kiss was icing on the damn cake. And the way his line of sight found you mid-kiss and clung to you until the end of the mini makeout . . . That was hell. The deepest, most fiery crevice of hell.

But, you didn’t fail to notice. . . he hadn’t put his hands on her during whatever that had been.

And he went to look at his phone as she left, settling back in the arm chair. He hadn’t even cared to watch her curvaceous body leave the room.

Strange.

-🌼🌼🌼- 

The giggle that erupted from Josh as he drew his card was so loud, you were certain the neighbors could hear as it echoed. He’d knocked out more than a couple of White Claws — and drank them much faster than he should have. He shook his head, full head of curls bouncing around. His hand cupped his mouth to muffle yet another boisterous laugh as he read again to himself.

“Elmo can’t believe this!” He exclaimed, chuckling afterwards as the rest of you shared tiny grins and wide eyes. Was he imitating a Sesame Street character?

And, when he started singing Elmo’s World, your theory was confirmed. You had to admit it was. . . alarming how perfectly he mimicked the red, furry character. Almost as if the puppet lived inside of him.

The theme song clashed horribly with the Earth, Wind, and Fire record Josh had chosen. You squinted at your curly haired friend, cringing just a bit at whatever he was doing. But with another impossibly high note of the song, the room broke out in snorts and snickers. All of you, trying to hide your laughter. Your cringing loosened with your body at the funniness of Josh’s theatrics.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Sam snarked, confused and clearly lacking any patience with his brother's antics. 

The rest of you were caught in a fit of giggles as Josh continued to say things as Elmo, in third person and everything. Though you were also confused as hell, you were equally impressed by his spot-on impersonation. The youngest brother leaned forward to try to nab the card from Josh, but Josh hastily brought his hand back to himself.

“My card, Sam!” Josh shouted, slapping his younger brother's hand away, still wheezy laughing. Then, he shook his head, pretending to dust off the front of the card. “What an imbecile,” he mumbled, a bit more serious to imply his annoyance with Sam.

The roll of Sam’s eyes was the most dramatic display of exasperation you’d ever seen from him, and that was certainly saying something. You tried so hard to hold back your laughter, fearful that any more pressure on your tummy would cause you to pee right on the spot. (Thanks, pregnancy.) 

“Then shut the hell up and read it,” Sam spat, impatiently waiting to move along with the game.  

“Okay, okay,” Josh started, holding his card in front of his face, pretending to adjust the invisible monocle that was (not) sitting over his left eye for an added dramatic effect. “You’re a tickle me Elmo,” he cleared his throat, attempting to hold whatever his persona was, but cracking yet another laugh after he read the words aloud. “. . . And you insist that the target tickle you, and if they do, get furious at them.” 

The room resounded with a collective “Oh!” once you all discovered the true reasoning behind his little (and terrifyingly accurate) impression. 

He held the card down just enough that his eyes peeked over the cardstock, his right eyebrow cocked as his eyes flitted around the room. “Who shall be my playmate?” He joked as he placed his hand on the bottle, spinning it with a graceful tap, just enough to land on the person sitting right beside him: Samuel.

“That’s not fair!” Sam protested, still drunk, but thankfully having been cut off from the hard stuff as soon as he’d tried to claim it at the beginning of the game. “You didn’t spin hard enough, Joshua! Not a fair spin. Do it again.”

“The bottle chooses who it chooses, brother,” Jake called from his spot, where you refused to look. 

You just settled back into Theo’s arm that was slung across the back of the couch, trying your best to be comfortable. Fake it till you make it. And when Sam straight up pouted for thirty seconds straight, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. 

“Samuel Francis,” you said his name flatly. “Just play the goddamn card with Josh. Jesus. There is definitely worse. You’re just lucky he’s not–.”

“Naming every part of my body while touching it,” Sam interrupted, locking eyes with you as he raised a brow. A mischievous grin rising under his mustache.

And as your mind rushed with the memory, you couldn’t stop your eyes from flicking to Josh’s. Of course, he was already looking at you. He knew now was not the time. You knew he knew, no matter how much he’d had to drink. And from your peripheral, you saw Danny looking at you as well. And when you looked over towards him, he was giving you a look that said ‘don’t listen to him’, which you waved off with a swat of your hand in the air and a shaky smile. 

Don’t think about it, y/n, your inner voice counseled you. Sam’s just drunk and doesn’t hold enough stock in what he’s saying for you to take it personally. Just ignore him.

“Sam.” You heard Jake sternly say his name, close to you from where he sat snugly in the armchair to your left. The seriousness in his tone made you freeze.

And this time when he spoke, you let yourself look at him. Instantly, you regretted it, seeing his arm around Maya’s shoulders. Her face, pink from how much she’d had to drink. Bitch liked to fucking laugh, apparently. 

But you just focused on how his eyes found yours for a solid ten seconds, full of fire and a sort of protection. Your heart leapt in your chest at the same time he trained his eyes, once again, on Sam. “Fuck right off and go tickle Josh,” he grit at his younger brother, eyebrows set in a straight line. “Suck it the hell up.”

-🌼🌼🌼- 

The night continued on after Sam tickled Josh’s (very creepy) version of Elmo.

After that one, you got to witness a few more hilarious rounds. You’d belly laughed at Sam imitating a bird and pecking endlessly at Josh with his nose. The way your sides hurt when Danny got to be Nicholas Cage while searching for the Declaration of Independence (Jake had been the Declaration of Independence) was incomparable. And you tried hard to not cringe when Theo had been Mickey Mouse going through withdrawals and looking for drugs that his target had (that lucky target had been Sam, once again).

Thankfully, you’d had to pee at the perfect time and got to skip your turn. But when you came back, it was Jake’s turn. It seemed as though they’d waited on you. He had just picked his card as you worked to make yourself comfortable on the couch. As comfortable as you could be, at least. It took you a moment to find the right spot, sighing with relief as you finally settled. Theo, of course, didn’t offer any help. He was oblivious to your pain, ignoring it altogether as he sat on the cushion next to you, still all giggly over his (terrible) impression of Mickey Mouse. 

But, Jake noticed your discomfort. You knew he did, you could feel him watching you. And it was confirmed for you when he spoke up, asking if you were okay.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you said to him with a shake of your head, glancing in his direction, avoiding looking at him for too long. You knew it would hurt if you offered more than that, with the way Maya had herself wrapped around him. “Just a little hard to get comfy these days.” 

Except, when you’d heard the soft timbre in his voice as he’d moved to lean forward, over the chair’s arm to quietly check on you. . . you were, in fact, not fine. Hearing his concern for you had made it as though there were no Theo or Maya or anyone in the room. For a moment, at least.

When you broke your own little rule and looked over again, you watched as he untangled himself from Maya. And within a moment, he was situating to face you and the rest of the room on the chair’s ottoman. 

He read the card to himself, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he giggled under his breath. His beautiful teeth, on full display in a wide smile. Then, his face was suddenly serious. He was putting on a persona. You looked at him with wide eyes and a smirk, waiting for whatever this was. One of his eyebrows raised as he flourished a gesture with one hand.

“Oh, fuck no,” Josh groaned from his spot across the room. “Not the Johnny Depp. Please.”

“You’re a pirate, and your map shows where the buried treasure is,” he read aloud, using his best Jack Sparrow accent, flailing his arm and slurring together his words as though he had just downed the last sip of rum. “The bloody problem is. . . it’s in your Target’s. . .,” he paused, presumably for some sort of dramatic effect. His brow, raised, hand out in the air with a wave.

For some reason, you felt nervous. You knew, more than likely, that you two wouldn’t be partners again. Just because it was the same game as all those months ago, didn’t mean it was going to play out the same. But. . . you just had this feeling that something was about to happen. 

With a huff, you readjusted once again as your baby leaned in a way that had your back suddenly killing you. You focused on her and worked to prepare yourself for whatever this card said. (But, as you were about to discover, there was no preparing for this one.)

“There is no way the card said ‘bloody problem’,” Daniel jested with a laugh as your heart skipped a beat in odd anticipation.

“A Jake treat, as one might say,” Josh added, your pulse quickening at all of the possibilities. “The one not being me.”

You just let your eyes roll, playing off your anxiety. You repositioned your body once more. You were feeling very overheated all of a sudden, sweat accumulating in your armpits. And the most recent change in position had already begun to cause aches and pains (thank you, squirmy baby girl). 

“The treasure is in. . .,” he said again, a bit firmer for emphasis and with a glare towards the two mocking brothers. (The glare wasn’t any good for your comfortability, by the way. The irritation painted on his handsome face made your skin heat even further.) “Your target’s. . . . pants,” he finished. The room shot off in laughter, while you nervously scratched at your scalp. You were silently panicking inside your mind.

Fuck. 

He held the card between his middle and index fingers, then flicked it across the room before reaching his hand to the bottle. (Why was that so fucking sexy?) You clenched your fists, your jaw, everything as the bottle was spinning, slowly contemplating the fate of the soul it would choose as Jake’s victim. 

Please no. Please no, you thought, looking away from its slowing spin. The idea that not watching it would somehow deter it from landing on you, asinine. (As if it fucking worked that way.)

But, when you heard the glass slide to a stop, and heard the collective gasp from everyone in the room, you fucking knew.

When you turned back to the bottle, in all of its glory, you found it pointing right at you.

It could’ve landed on anyone else. Literally anyone, but it chose you. Wonderful. 

“Looks like you’re up!” Sam teased, thankfully breaking the tension in the room, the gasps turning into little laughs from the others. 

But there was no laughing for you. . . . not for Jake, either. You both sat still as statues, you watched him contemplate the card as his fingers messed with the hair at the back of his head. Then, they switched to flicking at his nose, and after that, smoothing out an eyebrow. 

He seemed just as nervous as you were at what this card implied. When his eyes caught yours, you felt them silently asking you if you were okay with this, as though he could sense the same nerves that brewed inside of him, brewing inside of you, too. 

Part of you wanted to break the rules, make him spin the bottle again to land on someone else. But when you glanced over to the dark haired beauty sitting next to him, you felt a red hot anger take hold. Your body felt heavy with it as she leaned up to read the card over his shoulder, her chin perched there, holding his thigh tight in her grip, from behind him. And, well, you decided to hell with it. 

“Take it away, Captain,” you responded with a courageous sense of finality (albeit a little nervously). You let your eyes float from her to him and his waiting eyes.

A shiver ran down your spine when his eyes darkened at once, just enough for you to notice. You’d seen him just like this so many times before – confident and spurred on by you. He slowly stood up, hands pushing on his thighs and smoothing down them as he cocked his chin at you. And then, he was sauntering toward you with his Jake walk that, if you were standing, would’ve surely made your knees buckle. 

Thankfully, he threw his little Jack Sparrow impression in there as he came closer and that alleviated some of your stress. For the time being.

“Permission to seek the treasures hidden in yonder trove?” He requested in the same drunken pirate voice, standing before you as you were still seated on the couch. You cracked a smile at him, finding him very funny and even more endearing. He was truly the most endearing person you’d ever met.

Then, as if he were Captain Jack himself, he held out a hand, his body wobbly and perfectly imitating the beloved character. (Oh also – this character was, unashamedly, turning you the fuck on. Or was it just Jake?)

“Permission to seek a kiss on the hand of a fair maiden, m’lady?” He slurred, eyebrow popping up, lips in a loose grin to resemble the charismatic pirate he often chose to imitate. 

You placed your hand in his, used it as leverage to begin to stand. However, before you could scoot your ass completely off the couch, he was motioning for you to stay sitting with a shake of his head. 

“You’re comfortable,” he quickly noted seriously as Jake, not as Captain Jack. He dropped your hand to point a finger down towards you and the couch. “Stay there and I’ll come to you.”

Not needing to be told twice and knees slightly shaky at the command, you looked down at your lap and decided to sit there and wait for what he had in mind. But, as you readjusted just a little, bringing your ass closer to the edge of the couch to better his. . . access to you, you heard him speak up.

“Y/n. Don’t move.”

“I’m not, Jacob,” you argued back, looking up at him. “Just getting situated.”

He huffed, his jaw tightening. You looked back down at your lap, trying to not focus on the sudden, uncomfortable quietness of the room. All night, there had been noise from his brothers, but at this moment? There was not a fucking peep. You fanned your hands out on your thighs several times, flexing your fingers against the soft skin there.

And, after a breath, he was slowly lowering himself to your level. You tried not to watch, focusing instead on your black fingernail polish. But, after a cough from Josh’s side of the room and the smell of Jake’s cologne truly encompassing you, you felt his breath fan across your forehead.

Apprehensively, you peered up to look ahead. And when you did, you were looking right into his amber-brown eyes. Your breath caught in your throat at his closeness. . . and at the fact that you were being observed by a room full of people – including your date and his very serious girlfriend. 

You prayed to whoever was listening that he wouldn’t make you become some animalistic version of yourself. Prayed to control yourself and that he would have enough sense to control himself. He wouldn’t truly risk what he had with Maya for a silly little game and his oversensitivity for your pregnancy, would he? 

Logically, you knew it would be best to just stand up and feign sleepiness to avoid whatever this could turn into. But, realistically, you knew that would make things even more awkward and might even hurt his feelings. . . Although, you doubted that possibility as much. He wouldn’t be that seriously hurt, would he? With the way he’d switched his emotions on and off with you? 

You just stayed put – didn’t want to make anything seem too obviously weird. This was a game. 

But then — he was leaning in. 

Leaning in so surely and steadily that you feared what he was about to do. When all he did was push your hair behind your ear and put his lips close to your ear, you should’ve breathed a sigh of relief, but you couldn’t. Because you felt the eyes of everyone else as he did this. You also felt every breath from his mouth against the shell of your ear. It was making you feel light as air and heavy as a brick house all at once. 

“We’ve been here before, haven’t we?” He mumbled, just loud enough for you to hear, the words feeling dark against your neck. 

And when he pulled back, he was winking at you as if you were the only two in the room. Yet again, paying no mind to his girlfriend who was only feet away. He definitely wasn’t considering your guest who was even closer. Goddammit, Jacob. 

“Be careful,” you mouthed, your eyes which held his, leaving no room for disagreement. 

All he did was smirk in response, pulling himself back just enough that he could sit on his knees before you. And before you knew it, his palms were flush against your thighs. Simultaneously, he was gripping the smooth skin and caressing it, working his way upwards until he met the crease between your thigh and hip on both legs.

And — his hands were under your shorts. Under your motherfucking shorts in front of Maya, God, and everybody. The way the pads of his calloused thumbs traced the gentle crease there set your skin on fire. You knew you were blushing – felt it from your face all the way down to your chest. Without any control over yourself, you aided in his journey, spreading your legs apart for him. 

At that, you heard his breath hitch and you glanced up at him, catching his dark irises in a steely stare of your own. His eyes were blazing with the intensity of the moment – he looked like a man starved. Your heart was hammering in your chest. You were just waiting for your fucking monitor to alert you of a spike in your heart rate. To break this up. But, from what you could hear, it hadn’t made a single beep. Shocking.

The way his thumbs continued to apply pressure to the semi-secret place between your hip and thigh made your head spin and your panties wet. You tilted your head to the side slightly, felt your core flexing around nothing, throbbing for him and his touch. You breathily sighed through your parted lips as the pads of his thumbs edged closer and closer to your center. 

At their own will, your hips lifted off the couch, your body, not allowing you any grace, and begging for his touch. His thumbs hesitantly grazed the seam of your underwear, the only thing preventing his fingers from going where you desired them most. 

Another cough from Josh’s side of the room. 

Fuck it all. Not here. Not here. Not here. 

Why had no one laughed? To stop this? Whatever. You’d do the best you could to get both of you in the right state of mind. Didn’t know how well it would work with your brain all fuzzy, but you’d try.

“Jake,” you began, his name coming out as a moan more than the authoritative tone you intended. So, you tried again. “Jake.”

Suddenly, he was frozen, his hands halting their movements as you caught one another’s eyes. You stared him down until he understood – you had to stop. Like. . . What the actual fuck? What was the point in stopping the kitchen escapade earlier if you were just going to do it, on purpose, in front of everyone?! Thankfully (or not-so), after a few seconds, he removed his hands as if he’d been burnt. Where was Josh’s saving laughter?! God.

Before you could grieve the loss of his touch too heavily, his fingers were back on your legs. So he wasn’t going to completely stop. He did have a task. And you knew damn good and well he intended to finish it with the way he’d been attracted to your body as of late. He began by gripping the middles of your thighs, coming towards you to whisper in your ear yet again. 

“They’re all drunk anyway,” he reassured so very quietly, his words fanning over your ear, hair still tucked behind your ear from before.

Then the calloused tips of his fingers began their venture back up towards the treasure trove. Your shorts. He still had a damn treasure to find. In your pants. 

This time, he began by grazing the waistband of your shorts, rubbing the fabric between his thumb and index for a moment. You gasped when they made unexpected, gentle contact with the skin of your round, pudgy lower tummy.  Your eyes flew to his, which were watching your face carefully.

He chuckled breathlessly at your response, his eyes not quite as dark. They were wide and genuine as he lopsidedly grinned at you, lips once more at your ear for a brief moment. “I love this belly – love our baby who’s moving inside.”

The tears that sprang to your eyes were inevitable at the talk of your tummy and his baby. One little tear dared to fall, and you reached one finger up quickly to catch it, so as not to make this any more than it needed to be. Tears would indicate you were feeling more than a game called for. To balance yourself, you quickly placed the hand behind you to brace against the couch once more. 

Then, his nimble fingers were traveling lower. Your legs were still spread wide enough for him to have proper access. You couldn’t utter a word when his thumb purposefully brushed your lower tummy once more, the other four digits of both hands creeping just the slightest bit into the waistband of your shorts at your hips. You looked down, then up to him — catching his eyes still meeting yours. The proximity was close, close enough that you could’ve kissed him easily without needing to lean down more than an inch. 

It was at that moment you felt the air leave the room. When his fingers crept low enough that you felt them graze your bare hips and ass, grabbing at the skin there the best he could. He was underneath your damn underwear. He wasn’t fucking playing around with this treasure. His thumbs stayed near the front of your shorts, the best they could with your little belly in the way.

You wanted so badly to forget this fucking game and lead him somewhere more private, away from peering eyes. His face was suddenly coming towards you again, lips brushing your ear. “Miss your body so much, baby.”

Your lids lowered at those words, a huff brushing past your lips. Every single word resonated. You missed him. Your body needed him.

It also came to your realization that he hadn’t used the piratical voice once since getting on his knees. Every time he’d whispered in your ear, it had been simply Jake. It wasn’t about the game any longer. Hadn’t been this whole time, you’d bet. His lips stayed against your ear as his fingers continued to massage the flesh at your hips and the crest of your ass, shaky breaths exhaling against you as you kept your breathing in time with his. 

And it was almost as if he’d forgotten about the game altogether when he slipped his thumbs much lower to match the other fingers’ placement. The pads of his thumbs now resting against your underwear. He wasn’t going to go underneath where you wanted him underneath most, apparently. Fucking tease.

Though, he didn’t let the underwear stop the gentle movements of his thumbs. His thumbs were playing dangerously close to the spot he’d been nestled so many times before. You gasped, the sound turning into a tiny moan as he began tapping his thumbs just the slightest bit at your clit over your thong. Your breath caught in your tightening throat, and when he looked up at you, full smirk and a glimmer about his eyes, your body started to tremble, every inch of you heating in a very familiar way. 

Was it beginning to go too far? Absolutely. But if you were truthful about it, you just didn’t care. Not anymore. The room had gone silent moments ago – you knew everyone was watching, and you hoped to fuck that Maya was watching. But you also knew how wrong that was. How wrong it was that you didn’t care the way you should’ve, how wrong it was that this was happening in the first place. 

He placed his mouth on your ear once more, a groan escaping him at the same time you felt your sensitive nub pulsate against his finger. “X marks the spot?” He heatedly spoke against your ear, in a whisper that only you could hear as his thumb pressed just so. So close.

The sigh you pushed past your lips with the crinkle of your brow made you believe a certain something was very near, your core grasping at nothing as your clit hardened familiarly. 

Just then, Josh made an obnoxiously loud and unnatural display of clearing his throat. It was quickly followed by an overly boisterous cackle – an obvious attempt at putting an end to this.  

Your body jolted, but you couldn’t move as your breath came out in short puffs. Jake hadn’t moved an inch, steady, mouth still at your ear. You were so close. So fucking close. The slightest bit of release trickled into your panties, but not enough. Not what you needed. Not the precipice you longed for. Only a teasing little gesture from his knowing fingers to your wanting body. 

Jake’s eyes found yours one more time, begging you to feel what he was feeling. His irises were nearly covered by his pupils, so dark. Only seconds before both of you jumped at the next interruption.

“O-KAY, I’d say you found it, Jacob!” Josh blurted. At this, you forced yourself back to reality. You shook your head inexplicably at the same time that Jake removed his hands, placing them instead on his thighs where he was still kneeling in front of you. 

The loss of his touch reminded you where the fuck you were. The nasty slap of reality – the reality of the game. And worse. . . the mocking reality that Jake was not yours. Lest your round never stop.

“NEXT?” Josh shouted once more, and just as swiftly, Jake was shooting up from his spot, also having been yanked back to the real world. 

Jake shuffled away from you and didn’t dare go anywhere near Maya before he was jetting off to the bathroom. He’d been basically a blur before all of your eyes, barely giving a second thought to it all.

When Josh got up to (awkwardly) pass the deck to Maya for her turn (the last one to go), you kept your eyes trained on Josh (who hadn’t looked at you yet). You were not going to look at Maya. You hated how you felt just as guilty as you did deserving. But the guilt was definitely crawling up your spine. He’d just had his hands down your pants with his girlfriend sitting right there. Who wouldn’t feel bad?

Looking over with worried eyes to the room’s other guests, you saw Danny and Sam simply looking at you with their mouths hung wide open in shock or amazement or both? Fuck. You must’ve given a damn show. Their eyes cleared slightly when you looked at them and their gaping mouths turned into uncomfortable laughs as they looked at each other with a little giggle and raised brows.

Before you could look to see Josh’s expression, you heard Theo clear his throat beside you. And, you suddenly remembered just how close he’d been to witness all of. . . that. And you felt more than a little rude for doing that in front of him when you’d invited him over tonight. Even if you hadn’t wanted to, you still had. You’d extended an invitation he’d been very excited about. Then, right beside Theo, you’d let another man work your body like his goddamned guitar.

Ashamed as you were, you still worked up the courage to scoot back and next to him once again. He was sitting stock still, hands clasped tightly in his lap as he stared down at them. His foot, tapping uncontrollably. You observed him for a minute, contemplating what to say (Maya, still not saying what card she’d drawn – probably waiting for Jake). Ultimately, you went with a basic apology – didn’t know what else to freaking say or do. 

“Theo,” you spoke quietly to him, placing an uneasy hand on his thigh. He flinched under your touch, but didn’t move. You stared at his profile, willing your voice to express genuinely. “I’m sorry you had to– I’m sorry that–the card. . .,” you trailed off, suddenly blanking on something to say. Fuck. 

Because, honestly, it really had been the game. Yeah, you’d both taken it too far. But it was a game, ultimately. And did Theo deserve an apology for that? Were you so much of a bitch that you were beginning to question if he deserved one? Damn. How did you say sorry for someone else’s actions and the card he’d pulled, not of his own choosing? To someone who wasn’t your boyfriend?

The actions were his choosing, an annoying voice lulled in the back of your mind. But you were the one who readily responded and fucking moaned. 

“I’m just– sorry, I guess,” you ended up saying, hand still sitting atop his thigh. Sorry you guess?! When had you become such a bitch? “Seriously,” you tried to add. “I’m sorry that the card was what it was.”

And, it worked. Because his eyes immediately found yours after the words. And, although he still looked like he’d been stung, his lips curved into a smile. 

“The card wasn’t your fault,” he said semi-easily, using a hand to brush it off. Though, he was still fidgety, moving to hold your hand in his clammy one. As much as you didn’t want to hold his hand at the moment, you let it happen. Figured it was the least you could do. Fake it till you make it. “It was just. . . a lot to see. But, things happen. It’s just a game,” he said, more to himself than to you, nodding his head in reassurance.

You did the same, a tiny smile perking your lips. He could be pretty sweet when he felt like it. You were grateful for how he was responding to it all. It helped your shoulders to release the tiniest bit of tension. . . because there was still someone in the room who’d been too quiet since the. . . occurrence. There would be no surprise if she was pissed at you (granted, she should’ve been angrier at Jake, but that wasn’t how brains worked – it was always the other person who took the heat). So, when you finally got the gall to look over, you found her staring straight ahead. Her legs, easily crossed due to no pregnant belly and arms also crossed. Her new card was sitting in front of her, face down, waiting to be read. 

She was nowhere near ready to play it, though. Not with how her freshly manicured fingers harshly lilted against her arm and how her tongue worked side to side angrily in her mouth, bouncing from one tense cheek to the other. Her perfectly full lips, pursed and freshly chapstick-ed. 

And Jake was still not out of the bathroom yet. 

Going in completely blind at what you should say, you just started speaking. Hoped something good would come out. “Um,” you began, turning the slightest bit to face her. You tucked one foot under your thigh, trying to find a good position to be comfortable and confident. She still wasn’t looking at you as you continued. “I’m– I don’t know what that looked like, but–.”

“It looked like I was about to witness that baby being made for the second time over,” she bit out, her lips still pursed tightly and her fingers squeezing tight on her biceps. Still wasn’t looking at you. 

Your teeth ground together at the way she’d referenced your baby. ‘That baby?’ The tone she’d used when she’d spoken of the tiny girl you held safely inside of you every damn day. . . Uh-uh. You were not the one. 

But, you tried, once more, to be kind. For Jake. “It wasn’t anything. Jake and I–.”

“Were ‘just friends’ who got ‘fucked up one night and had sex that resulted in a baby’?” She scoffed, flipping her hair to the side, arms crossing once more after her air quotes. She turned in her spot to look at you. 

Her eyes were fiery, but you’d beg to differ that yours carried even hotter flames. Fuck this bitch.

“Wait– Jake– Is he–?” Theo tried to question, but Maya cut him off.

Thank God, honestly. You didn’t want to explain all of it to him right now.

Maya’s eyes scrutinized you – in your home. “Yeah. . . y/n. Don’t try,” she sighed, annoyed with you. Her nose flared as her lips, fuller due to (presumably) incredible injections, puckered. “Jake already fed me that shit. But what I saw tonight? I’m taking that ‘just friends’ line as utter bullshit.”

Well. What in the hell could you say that would even remotely get her off your damn case? The entire room was dead silent. The complete silence was how you knew Jake was done in the bathroom – you’d heard him washing his hands and you heard the exact moment he walked back into the room. You could literally hear his feet padding back into the living room. It was that quiet. 

You watched him, his view downcast as he ran a hand through his hair. He flicked at his nose, smoothed his brow. And in the same few seconds, he was once again nudging his nose before quickly wiping at his left eye. He was jittery. Nervous. Upset. And he wasn’t looking anywhere near you. It made your heart break and your eyes water.

“Maya, babe. I don’t know what the fuck just happened,” he began to say, finally looking at her. He went to sit back down on the ottoman, facing her. “I don’t want you to think—.”

You decided to drive the point home yourself. “It was nothing, Maya. Jake and I. . . we were nothing,” you broke in, thankfully gaining her eyes once more. As you looked directly into her eyes, you did your damned best to not look at Jake. Didn’t know how you’d do with looking at him at the present moment.

You wanted to say your piece—have the upper hand. Before he could say anything even the slightest bit hurtful. Your heart was getting pulled side to side. It didn’t matter at this point how true what you were going to say was. 

Someone just needed to diffuse the fucking tension before it tore the entire room in half. Also, you had to fucking pee again. And you weren’t about to not have the last word. Fuck Maya. Truly. Fuck her. But you were still determined to say one more thing. For Jake ��� to save what he had with the stunning woman. 

You continued on, your voice surprisingly serious and indescribably stable. “It was just a stupid mistake one night that resulted in a beautiful life. Whatever the fuck just happened was for the game.” Then, you got an idea. Perfect explanation. “Jack Sparrow is a ladies man, as we all know. Jake was just playing up the part. He doesn’t actually want me like that.”

Why you cared so much to save a relationship that made you want to simultaneously punch a brick wall and lay in bed rotting all day. . . you didn’t know. You just knew it was for Jake. He was happy with her. He had been happy with her before he knew about the baby and you weren’t about to ruin that for him. You’d done enough damage.

Even if he was the one that had just done. . . that in front of everyone. The truth was: you couldn’t be together, but you ached for him. You wanted to be more. You just couldn’t be. He needed Maya’s stability. Not your irrationality and baggage. You were giving him a child. That was it. It had to be. 

“. . .And I don’t want him like that,” you stated plainly. Strong. “We share a baby. That’s it.”

And as the terrible words slipped past your lips, all you could think was no. That wasn’t fucking ‘it’. You wanted it all. And he seemed so oddly transfixed by you – was it just because of pregnancy? The fact that you were having his baby? Was it something else? You didn’t fucking know. Didn’t need to know. 

All you knew was that you cared for him so much that you had to make him think he’d meant nothing to you. He still needed to move on from the idea of you. Needed to stop the touches, the laying in bed together, the talk of jealousy. . . stolen moments in the car, in his bedroom, in the kitchen, and apparently now in front of people. 

A group of people that had included his girlfriend. Godammit, it needed to stop. You had to be the level head. Fucked up that the overly hormonal pregnant woman who cried at the drop of a hat had to do the hard work of denying it. . . But. . . Someone had to.

“She’s right, My,” Jake mumbled, trying to keep it private between the two of them. But, considering the dead silence, everyone else was privy to the words. And you were aware of the hardness in his tone, like he wasn’t sure he believed what he was saying. But, he was saying it. So he at least wanted to mean it. 

You looked down, not wanting anyone to see the tears brimming your eyes. Just in case one might fall, you wanted to immediately catch it. Tears wouldn’t do anything for you. They were just annoying – made you bare your emotions in a way you hated. 

“We were never anything. Still aren’t,” he let out a cough, breaking out into a ridiculous fit of them for a few seconds. It was enough to make your head raise with concern, watching him carefully as Maya patted at his back, trying to help him steady himself. You wanted so badly to help him. Why was he choking up?

“I believe you, babe,” she muttered as he gained a breath – finally. “It was just the character. I should’ve assumed. I know you better than to think you’d still be hung up on all of it.”

“There’s nothing to be hung up on,” he let out, coughing one last time, covering his mouth with a fist. And it was then, as he raised his head, you realized the coughing had perhaps been a cover. You’d bet money on it. His eyes were threatening to spill tears, too. They were already red-rimmed. You hadn’t even noticed. . . had he been crying in the bathroom? Over her? Over you? Both? The baby? Dammit, Jake. “Y/n and I aren’t a thing. Never have been, never will be.”

Fuck. It was a damned stab to the heart. Your skin fucking crawled at the words, throat tightening. You had to leave the room as soon as possible before you revealed your own level of emotion to everyone, just as Jake’s eyes revealed his if anyone looked close enough. Your eyes were still leaking, your fingers (surprisingly) catching every single tear that came – and there were many. But you still needed to pee and you wanted to cry where no one could see you. 

Just then, you heard Sam let out a loud honk of a laugh to your right, making your skin turn hot and you sniff the tears away the best you could to momentarily look over at him. You were grateful for the interjection as it assisted in bringing you back to the present time.

“I understand,” she laughed, playing like she hadn’t been worried for a second. So self-assured. And then, she was speaking again. To you. “Oh, and y/n.” 

Quickly, you sniffed once more and found her haughty glare. Bitch. You didn’t trust yourself to speak, so you only lifted your brows with a hum to show her you were listening.

“It’s really whatever. I overreacted. I need you to know. . .I know it doesn’t go past the baby for him. I was just. . . in shock,” she casually responded, her voice all Valley again. As she checked her nails, you knew she was being way too nonchalant for the way her face had transformed during the game. She was covering. Faking, and acting like a cocky bitch while she did it. “It was shocking to see, that’s for sure. Considering. . .,” she trailed off, pushing jet black hair behind her ear with one hand while the other gestured to your tummy. “Sex made baby – even if it was only one night, you guys have had sex, so. . . Just made me a bit uncomfy, hun.”

Hun. Again? Fuck off, bitch. 

Jesus. You were over plastic women for the day. And this one you couldn’t get rid of like you could the nurse. The scoff and roll of your eyes had been stark and apparent. Even if you were going to carry on with the lie that you and Jake had only had sex once (laughable), you were not okay with her speaking down to you. Fuck that shit. 

Thankfully, Danny broke in, making it a conversation rather than an awkward personal confrontation in front of a group. “The game is very sexual. . . Guess I’ve never realized,” Daniel added. He was really trying to lighten the mood you were sure he felt taking over the room. . . everyone felt it. The air was so tight it could’ve been popped with a pin. “Just makes things look like they’re not,” he assured both Maya and Theo. You didn’t miss the quick look he threw your way, his kind eyes focusing on you for a breath. Danny wasn’t stupid. He understood. But he was assisting in the little white lie to help all parties involved. Took Maya’s eyes from you, you noticed as you glanced her way. 

When you looked over at Daniel again, he was cracking a smile with his last words, “Think of it this way: that could have easily been Sam doing that shit to me.” 

“I wish!” Sam drunkenly responded, laughing so hard his already-drooping body collided with Daniel’s side, making the taller one fall slightly. Both of them were woozy – Sam much more-so, but Danny wasn’t all there anymore. Danny did the best he could to sit both of them up straight with a shake of his head and his own chuckle.

“The point of the game is literally just to embarrass each other,” Josh tried. “It’s not about sex entirely.”

“Of course it is!” Sam encouraged, using his hands to billow out around him as if he were making an imaginary rainbow. “Everything is sex and we’d be idiots to think we aren’t surrounded by the concept of sex all the fucking time. I mean, pregnancy itself is a reminder that sex is more than a social constru–.”

“Just because we’re surrounded by it–because you know I believe that shit,” Josh quickly broke in, saving the room from going down that path again. Thank you, Joshy, you sent a quiet smile his way and he just winked at you as Danny had. He continued, “It doesn’t mean we need to play games intentionally putting people in these types of scenarios.”

“Especially with couples involved, guys,” Theo added. His words made you duck your head again, squeezing your eyes shut. Did he think you were already a couple? Why did that idea make you nauseous? It made you want to hide in a fucking hole. “It’s not okay to play a game that forces couples into awkward situations. We all just want to have fun. Do something we all enjoy.”

“It was Sam’s night,” you quietly spoke up from your hunched position, leaning up a little to say more. “We played it because Sam loves it.”

“Maybe next time we choose something else,” Theo said in a belittling tone, as if explaining a foreign concept to a toddler. “Think of others,” he glanced over at Sam. 

Next time? And why the fuck did he think he had the right to talk down to Sam? He barely knew him and it was public-fucking-knowledge that he was feeling down tonight. 

“Well,” Sammy started, looking over at Theo with a raised brow and a dry smirk. “What do you propose we do for the rest of the night, new guy?”

“Mm,” your date started, tapping his chin. Then, he cheesily held a finger up, getting an idea. “Maybe a movie?”

Okay. You’d officially decided this conversation could be handled without you. So, standing shakily, you had to put a hand on the arm of the couch to balance. As you were looking down, you noticed a hand reaching out to offer stability. A familiar one. One wearing a hair-tie ring on his middle finger. 

But you ignored it, instead sniffling once more and making your way to the bathroom. With a baby pressing down on your bladder, there was rarely time for more than a couple stops. And you’d waited a damn long time to get through that confrontational-discussion-thing  already. Pee was just daring to drip down your legs and you were not about to add that to the list of shit from tonight. 

Once you were there, you wasted no time shutting and locking the door and sitting on the toilet as soon as your shorts were down. Your hands floated to your tummy as you sat there contemplating it all. There was simply too much to put into words. All you knew at this moment was that the baby girl inside of you was a little piece of joy. And before she arrived, you were going to begin trying your best to focus on positives. 

So, with one more sniffle and a blow of your nose into toilet paper, you came to the conclusion that you had to try. And a tiny good start was that someone had replaced the roll of TP with a brand new one, rather than having you have to grab for one. A positive.

Though, when you went to throw away the piece of toilet paper you’d blown your nose into, you double-glanced at what you found in the trash can. The reason you’d had a new roll of toilet paper. Because, well, the extensive amount of toilet paper in the trashcan, covered in. . . release told you exactly what the fuck Jake had done in here only minutes ago. 

And that thought alone got in the way of the joy train. Had he been thinking of you when he’d–? He had to have been, right? But then he’d come out, so ready to deny anything ever being more between the two of you. 

You did it, too, y/n, a small, soft voice reminded you at the back of your mind. Maybe he was scrambling for a lie just like you were.

You just hated the lying. The games. The touching. The wanting. The needing. The crying over it all. The thoughts prompted by his used tissues had you sitting against the bathtub before going back out. Sitting against the bathtub while sniffling again, losing more tears, and blowing your nose into a tissue one more time. 

What in the fucking hell had your life become?

-🌼🌼🌼- 

You didn’t know what the fuck you were thinking when you ended up walking Theo back to your room. Truly. The whole fake it till you make it bullshit was leading you into territory you weren’t sure you liked.

The only explanation you could conjure up was that he’d had his arm around you all night, after you’d come out of the bathroom all vulnerable. And, well, you’d done your damn best to only focus on all things Theo after the mini emo-episode in the bathroom. 

You’d had to force yourself to focus on other things. And, it seemed now you were going the extra mile to force a feeling. You had to try this. Just to see if this one last resort could take your mind off of Jake. It had been a plain impulsive act to take Theo to your bedroom and try it as soon as everyone had finally dozed off. 

And, honestly, your body had still been (obviously) thrumming with adrenaline from your challenge with Jake during that blessed game. You’d had no relief with Jake (thankfully – that would have been embarrassing as fuck). It had all ended terribly. But, all night, any time you thought of Jake’s thumb tapping and circling over your clothed clit, you’d focus on the man who had his arm around you. Just tried ridiculously hard to channel every single bit of that tense energy into imagining Theo on top of you rather than Jake. 

It was hard to do, but it was healthier that way. For all parties involved, Theo was the option that made moral sense. 

Though, at this moment, with his fingers between your legs and his lips on your neck. . . you completely regretted the idea of coming to your room. You didn’t want this with Theo – especially with Jake’s baby in your belly. The thought actually made tears spring to your eyes. (Shocking, right?)

But, you were determined to keep trying to have a nice time. You were trucking on until you could at least fake an orgasm. You knew for damn sure it wasn’t going to turn into any more than this tonight, though. 

The whole thing felt like a scam to you. You felt like your body was a hollow shell around you, the only thing keeping you grounded was the baby you shared with another man. A man who was polar opposite than the one currently fingering you. Once the orgasm had been faked, you knew you’d be ready to fall asleep. You were carrying a human life, after all. And your effort to keep up an act had you fading fast anyhow. 

You also really hated the fact that you were stark naked. Theo seeing you this way didn’t get you all hot and bothered. Made you feel pretty gross, honestly. But he’d been very keen on stripping you of all your clothes as soon as your door had latched closed behind him. At the same moment, you’d still been excited – leaping towards him for an open-mouthed kiss (you’d been really desperate for this little experiment to work). 

It hadn’t taken long to figure out the biggest reason why he’d wanted your clothes off. Not with the way his hands had immediately found your engorged breasts. . . . You couldn’t blame him – the big boobs that accompanied your pregnant body were pretty easy to look at. 

He’d paused at the small heart monitor piece on your chest. But you’d just given him a shrug and said, without a shred of patience for his hesitance, “I’m tracking my heart right now. Take me or leave me.”

You didn’t care enough about him to care what he thought. And you didn’t want his hands on you if he was going to be weird about it. But, he’d just shook his head in return, not saying anything before pulling you closer. At first, Theo’s hands holding your ever-aching boobs felt okay – a little better than okay, actually. Even if they hadn’t felt like what you needed, they’d done the trick for a small while. 

But at this point? It had been a long, grueling twenty minutes of him holding them. Fondling them. Non-stop. One hand bounced back and forth between your boobs, while the other worked real hard to get you off with alternating pointer and middle fingers. Right off the bat, you’d had to stop him from playing with your nipples – it didn’t feel right at all for him to do that. But you’d let him play with the rest. 

Goodness gracious – you couldn’t help but wince with one particular twist of the football player’s meaty finger. His fingers were really thick. . . like, uncomfortably thick. They were on hands that truly belonged to a college athlete. 

Your specific preference was a guitar player’s fingers. . . . They just felt nice. There was no comparison to the way those purposeful, calloused fingers made you feel. . . they were a stark contrast to the way these sausage fingers had you clawing at your bedsheets for some sort of relief. You wanted to enjoy this. . . So badly, you wanted to enjoy this. This needed to work so it could be a distraction from your baby daddy. 

But God – the feeling of his one, too-big finger was absolutely grating. . . He kept spitting on your folds, trying to keep you wet. But everything he tried was to no avail. He hadn’t tried well at all to get your body to open up for him. So, at this point, your body continued to jostle, dry and sore, with his eager motions. He was very big and muscular, which made him handle you like a bit of a rag doll. (That had been the only hope of turning you on in all of this.) 

“Oh, yes, Theo,” you exaggeratedly sighed as he continued to pump his finger, running your hands down your cool sheets. Everyone was asleep, it didn’t matter how loud you were – and you needed to sell it.

You had to admit that at the moment, you were working on getting nominated for a damn Oscar with your sounds and facial expressions. Despite his terrible talent in bed, you were doing a really incredible job at convincing him you felt good. You even threw in a little sigh and moan every now and then. 

If you were him, you were sure you’d be convinced that you were doing a damn good job. 

“Yes,” you encouraged half-heartedly, sleepy and anxious to be done. “Just like that. Juuust like that.”

At your words of affirmation, he went a little harder. The tips of his fingers kept connecting with your cervix in a most uncomfortable way. It was making your stomach twist in pain and your eyebrows furrow with discomfort. Yeah, you were not going to fake it through that. You couldn’t.

“That-that hurts,” you mumbled, gripping his thick blonde hair. 

When you said that, he slowed to a much more acceptable pace and gave your cheek a little peck. Afterwards, going back to kissing and breathing way too hotly on your neck. Your neck that was barely sweaty, not being worked up in the slightest anymore. As he continued his little rotation of terrible patterns, you continued to hold onto his head. It added to the effect. 

You kept him close, but all you truly wanted to grab onto were long, wavy locks of chestnut brown hair. The ends of Jake’s  long hair would have surely clung to his tanned, broad shoulders – sweaty from exertion. 

Theo’s hair was still perfectly styled, his scalp not sweaty from hard work in the slightest. He wasn’t doing nearly enough – he was just pushing really hard and twisting in the wrong ways. He also kept trying to add another finger that just did not belong inside of you. It was like your body kept closing up every time he tried. 

Good looking out, body, you thought with a cringe as he tried yet again. 

“Just one finger,” you tugged on his hair. His hair, shorter than Jake’s and not quite as full as Jake’s either. 

God, why did you keep thinking of Jake?! Correct, this wasn’t enjoyable at all, but it didn’t mean you needed to be wistfully thinking of Jake at the same time. Jake and Theo were two completely separate people. Totally different in more ways than you could count. 

Their talents in bed are definitely different, your subconscious picked. We know who does a better job at this for sure.

You could have flicked the little devil in your head to the side, but the voice did have a point. What you were experiencing right now was nothing compared to the miraculous shit that had gotten you into your life-bearing predicament in the first place. That otherworldly sex was undoubtedly leaps and bounds beyond whatever Theo thought he was doing for you. 

Speaking of which, he was making his way back down your body. Now, facing your pussy. Most probably about to spit on it again. You kept a hand laced in his hair as you continued to fake breathy moans, even going so far as to groan his name. 

“You almost to the finish line?” He grunted the words from where he’d positioned himself at your raw, sahara-dry center. “Seems like you take a while to get there, babe. ‘S a lotta work for one guy. Almost done?”

‘A lotta work’? ‘Almost done’?! The ‘finish line’?!

What the fuck kind of conversation was this to be having? And why was he saying it like he was just shooting the breeze? Your legs were wide open, pussy fully exposed in front of his face. And he was complaining. Also. . . ‘babe’?! What the fuck.

This fake orgasm needed to happen soon. You were so done with whatever was happening between your legs. Without caring to respond, within seconds, you started amping it up. Your first act was grasping the sheets below your hands tighter. Your toes curled against the sheets as you brought your legs closer together. Your head, thrown back as you moaned louder than before, breathily exclaiming his name in tandem with the pace of his fingers.

You worked to clench your core around his fingers, continuing your praise of him with scattered, urgent ‘yes, yes, yeses.’ 

And, as soon as you sighed with finality and let your body relax, he removed his fingers. The minute he did that, you were ready to grab a giant t-shirt from your dresser and some underwear. You needed to go pee first. But as soon as you could, you were going to come back to bed and let sleep find you. He would just have to understand.

“I have to pee,” you said, moving as quickly as you could to the edge of the bed. 

Thankfully, the bulky man had enough sense to move out of your way, flipping onto his back on the opposite side of the bed. And, when you made it to your dresser to put clothes on, you did not like what you saw in the mirror to your dresser. Theo, with a too-proud smirk on his face as he watched you from his spot in bed. 

Ugh. No. You did not want that. You wanted Jake in that spot, like he’d been before. Jake, lying there naked under your covers – the most beautiful reflection for your mirror. Your stomach tangled at how Jake had eyefucked you that morning, as you’d attempted to put on clothes. 

You’d just found a pair of black panties, slipping them on hastily before yanking on a pair of pajama shorts that had been laying on the ground. Your hair was next, getting tied up into a quick ponytail. Then, you’d made the mistake of looking in the mirror. The bed was perfectly placed in the mirror’s path, and the sight from the bed had made your breath catch in your throat.  

Jake, in your bed, his long hair, still messy from sleep and sex. . . his deeply set, tired eyes. . . tanned skin, the perfect shade of brown after hours spent in the summer sun. The sight that had reflected back at you made your heart race. You’d caught your breath, taking in a sharp breath. One elbow, holding him up, while the other worked under the sheets. . . his eyes, lust-filled and appreciating your exposed thighs. 

Quickly, you’d abandoned your hair, deciding to not ignore the need that thrummed between your thighs, making your heart beat wildly in your chest. With him laying there looking like that, how could you refuse? His defined pecs and tight biceps had flexed with each pump of his fist. His dick, disappointingly hidden by the covers. 

In the blink of an eye, you’d been on top of him, as he’d deliciously stretched you, opening you up for him.

Fuck it all. You could’ve slapped a hand to your forehead. Your life was a damn joke. In the present time, you averted your eyes from the mirror, not wanting the image of Theo, in the same spot as Jake, in your mind. 

When you got your underwear up your legs, you decided shorts were a good idea. Didn’t want him looking at your body anymore. Then came the giant t-shirt. Hide hide hide.

You heard a groan of upset from your bed, but he was smart to not say anything. If he opened his mouth right now, you didn’t know what you would say. Because, well, you were pissed at life. This was not the reality you wanted, but it was what you’d been so graciously gifted. 

You chose this, y/n, your voice of sense reminded you. You brought this on yourself.

Seriously. Your life was one giant laughing stock.

The tears that sprung to your eyes were definitely expected with the night and the hormones. But, you really weren’t so sure anymore that all of the tears could be blamed on the hormones. Even if you didn’t have the hormonal parade inside of you, you were pretty sure you’d be just as sad. Just as angry. Equal parts angry and sad. All of it was enough to make any ‘normal’ girl cry. 

You made sure your back was to Theo and face out of the mirror when you let the first teardrop fall. There weren’t many of them, but a few easily slid down your cheeks as you went to open your bedroom door. But, hand on the knob, you hastily wiped at your face with your free hand. You didn’t want anyone seeing you like this. Especially one person. . . the last thing you wanted was Jake’s pity. Granted, Jake was probably asleep, Maya most likely wrapped in his arms.

Today had started off so well with him. . . but the way you’d ended it? Stupid stupid stupid. 

Before you left your room, your stomach dropped. What you’d just done. . . it just made you feel icky. Bad. Disgusting. Like a damned fraud. You honestly detested that you’d done it. To your utter dismay, you knew it was safe to say this little experiment of yours was already blowing up in your face. There was no convincing yourself that Theodore was who you wanted. Not at-fucking-all.

Not when Jake Kiszka existed.

“Hey, y/n,” Theo called to you from the bed, louder than you wanted him. 

You turned around to him, eyes big with a finger pressed to your lips. “What?” You whisper-spoke back. “Be quiet.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he shook his head with his brows furrowed, sitting up a bit better, balancing on his elbows. You noticed when he’d shaken his head, his hair stayed in one place due to being a shorter length. Disappointing. “Um. . . tonight. Maya said. Um,” he trailed off, trying to subtly flex his too-big arms. You were proud of yourself that you hadn’t rolled your eyes at him yet. “Is Jake. . . is he. . .? The baby’s–?”

There was no point in hiding it anymore. You shouldn’t have in the first place anyway. That’d been childish and ridiculous. “Yes,” you shortly responded in a whisper, twisting the knob to your door. “The baby is Jake’s, yes.”                                                                                                                      

-🌼🌼🌼- 

Jake’s POV 

The moment I woke up from the fitful nap I’d fallen into, my neck hurt like hell from leaning wrong and all I knew was. . . I had to fucking piss.

There was no way I wasn’t going to pee down my leg if I didn’t get to the bathroom. 

The only problem was: Maya was sprawled out on me. Her breasts, pressed against my chest and one leg draped across my hip while the other laid on the other side of my opposite leg. She even had an arm wrapped around my torso, making it that much more difficult to move quickly. I looked around the dark living room for the one person I cared to check on first thing. It was hard to adjust my eyes, the room lit only by the menu screen from the movie we’d been watching. 

Shrek. A childhood favorite to get Sam’s spirits up. Every single person in the apartment had surely seen the movie dozens of times, so we’d all passed out rather quickly. 

But, as I scanned the room for y/n, I noticed she was absolutely nowhere to be found. And neither was her new–. 

“Oh, yes, Theo.”

What the fuck?

“Just like that. Juuust like that.”

Fuck me. What in the hell had I done to deserve hearing this?!

Well, for one, the angel on my shoulder chimed in. Forcing her to hear you with your girlfriend wasn’t the most fair thing you could’ve done. . . It was only in due time that she’d be—.

“Just one finger.” Y/n. Again. Moaning through the walls. And now I knew enough to know exactly what the prick was probably doing. 

What he was doing to the woman who who was carrying my child. His hands were on her, in her. . . He was doing things to her perfectly growing body while I was out here. Having to listen.

Now you know how she felt, the angel (who was sounding more like a devil) continued. Doesn’t feel great, huh?

The little, reasonable voice didn’t reassure me whatsoever. It just made me feel so fucking foolish and utterly disgusted at what was going on behind her door. It was my damn fault. I knew it was. And the moans and cries from y/n’s bedroom. . . Those sounds had me wanting to take back every single action I’d committed to lose her any more than I already had that day in the kitchen. Fuck.

The need to pee had vanished. Now all I felt at the current moment was anger. Spitting anger. The desire to punch a my fist hard against a fuckin’ smug-ass blonde athlete. 

Then it was another voice. It was hard to make out what he was saying, but the quietness of the apartment helped me to hear a bit of it. “. . .take a while to get there, babe. . . lotta work for one guy. Almost done?”

Babe?! And a while to get where? If he was talking about her sweet pussy— he was a goddamn moron. It never took her that long with me. And if it did by chance, I thanked God I got to worship her for just a while longer. Got to discover more ways to please her.

She was so ethereal and goddess-like. . . It was the best game—figuring out how to get her to the edge. It was the pinnacle of sexual endeavors. And he was asking if she was almost done?! God. My blood was fuckin’ boiling. As if I needed any more confirmation, I officially knew the guy was a fuck-ass idiot. 

I shifted my weight completely away from Maya, brushing an angry hand through my ever-growing hair. Needed it away from my face, which just kept getting hotter by the second. My body felt like it was on fire. My pulse was electric under my skin.

As I moved even closer to the edge of the chair, Maya snuggled up against the arm rest I was getting away from. She seemed fine. She’d be fine. But what the fuck was I even moving to do? I didn’t really have to piss that bad anymore, but I had to do something. Guess I’d fucking try to go anyway. Something to get my mind off of what was going on in y/n’s bed. Fuck that shit. Seriously.

All I could think about was her soft body falling apart at the hands of this dimwit of an asshole. Her tits, full of milk for my baby, in another man’s hands. Her belly, my baby girl, in the middle of whatever the fuck was happening. 

I couldn’t help the fire that once simmered, now burning in my chest at the thought of it all. Before heading to the bathroom, I decided on a whim to check on the lavender. One more thing to focus on. A seemingly happy thing. 

Sam had requested the twinkle lights in the living room be on for the movie, so they were an aid in seeing the plant once I got to the kitchen. There was just enough of the yellow light flooding in from the living room to the kitchen.

I’d put it back in the original terracotta, not knowing a better solution than that one. We’d kept it under the sink the same day we’d bought the white vase. And for some strange reason, seeing it in the original pot I’d given her just made my heart twist in my chest. I longed for y/n daily. Day in, day out, she was the woman I awoke and fell asleep thinking about. So badly it hurt, I felt this pulling desire for her. Before knowing about the baby, but especially now that I knew about the baby. 

What sucked, though, was I still hadn’t the faintest clue where I stood. Where she stood with me. It was all such a convoluted fucking mess. It didn’t matter what kept happening, I was so confused. I couldn’t keep up.

And so much had changed since the day so long ago when I’d given her the lavender. For one, I just kept falling for her. More and more by the day. I’d now experienced things with her that I couldn’t have dreamed of back then. 

She was my muse–the hope that had shone when I’d felt hopeless. She was the woman whose body I wanted to watch rise and fall – whether it be above me, on top of me, below me, how-fucking-ever she wanted – every single day for the rest of my life. Her body was the only temple I wished to enter endlessly. Over and over again. 

And, of course, she was the mother of my child. . . She held the light to my world in her soul and in her belly, now. And the lavender I stood before, it resembled the beginning of us for me. . . The beginning of a chapter in my life that I had to close much too soon. A chapter I never wanted to close.

After making sure the plant was thriving, I decided it was due time for me to try peeing. Getting up had kind of helped the urge to come back anyway, so. The one part I was dreading most was walking past y/n’s room to get to the bathroom. What the fuck would I hear this time? Being so close? I was about to swear to every ‘Higher Being’ – if I had to hear the bed springs squeak as I passed, I’d erupt.  

. . .Right before I could begin my begging, though, her door opened. Right as I was coming up to it to cross to the bathroom, it wedged open a bit. Just enough for y/n to slip out without her belly grazing the doorjamb, her eyes down and avoiding any sort of contact with anyone. 

I was far enough back that she was able to come out undisturbed. But as soon as she stepped fully out, she was only inches away from me and staring at my chest. Almost instantly, her eyes fluttered up to look at me. It was as if she’d been caught. 

The twinkling lights from the living room were a god-send right now as my eyes pored over her angelic face. Her eyes glowed magnificently under the splash of light from the living room into the hallway.

Though, even with the warmth in my chest at seeing her pretty face under the lights, my heart sank. Her hair was a mess, she was adjusting the big t-shirt over her body, still pulling at the collar. She’d just put on clothes. I knew my face said I was stonewalled. My jaw was tight, clenching as I let my eyes scan her exquisite, gentle features. Her plush lips, slightly agape. And her jewel-like eyes, wide and wondrous. Her long lashes fluttered, enticing me.

At the moment, all I wanted to do was read her. But, I was too concentrated on doing everything in my power to not look pissed off. It wasn’t even that I was pissed off — well, yeah. I was. Definitely. I was livid. But not at her. I didn’t want her to think I was mad at her. 

No, all I really felt was this hole in my chest screaming over conflicted emotions. I knew what I wanted — who I wanted. But we’d both fucked up our chance with the other and now we were having to hide anything we did. The sad truth was, we’d actually always hidden it. I never got to show how deeply I felt for her out in the open. 

Though for her and Theo, she could walk out of her bedroom with her hair a mess and no one would ask any questions. Even though everyone now knew that it was my baby inside of her.

What was my fucking luck in that? Had it been for our good to not work out? Were we only meant to be co-parents?  And if so, why did we keep ending up in compromising situations? 

Her wet tits in my hands in the kitchen. My instincts, going into overdrive at the thought of her hurting herself on the water and glass. The way she’d hardly seemed to think about it when she’d leaned over the console to wrap her pretty mouth around my throbbing, hot dick. 

Then there was every time I’d ended up with her in my arms, my mouth on her skin. Her eyes always seemed to observe me, wide and curious eyes, always seeming so deep in thought. She’d chosen me to take her to therapy. The care she had about hearing Maya and me fuck — obviously more than platonic annoyance. Right?

Or was I imagining that part? Did she truly only want me as a friend? Was she only acting on her desires because she was pregnant and horny? 

It was when I finally let myself get out of my own head that I realized her magnificent eyes were glistening with unshed tears. Fuck. Was she okay? Had he hurt her? Was it what had happened during the game? What was going through her mind? How was she feeling at this very second?

“Why are you awake?” Y/n whispered towards me, voice wet and bringing me out of my swirling thoughts. 

I ignored her question, instead asking her my own. “Are you okay?” I softly responded, letting my face relax just enough to let her know I was worried about her. “Why does it look like you need to cry? Did he hurt–?”

“No,” she quickly shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself, right under her chest. Her nipples were hard. She wasn’t wearing a bra. Obviously. But the thought of him touching–. No. Focus, Jake. “He didn’t do anything wrong to me. I’m just–. I just. . .,” she shook her head. Her eyes were suddenly downcast. They stayed that way for a while, her gaze glued to our feet. 

It was like she was questioning every possible descriptive word to give me an inside look to her soul. So, rather than making her feel as though she had to tell me anything, I decided to carefully lift her chin with the lightest touch of two fingers underneath. And what I saw when her eyes connected with mine made my heart tear in half. 

Her cheeks, flushed with emotion and her eyes still shimmering with the same sort of longing I felt when I stared at the lavender in its original pot. How I’d felt tonight with her quivering under my hand. I’d felt that. Felt her harden for me, desperate to fall apart. It had turned me on at first, but then – it had just made me feel. . . Melancholy. 

She showed the exact same now in her eyes, the dimples at the tops of her cheeks coming out as her lip shook. A shadow of the past washed over her soft features as a few more tears traveled down her even softer cheeks. I didn’t hesitate to reach a hand up, using my thumb to stop the tracks at the apple of her left cheek, right below a dimple. 

She sniffled once, her body relaxing at my touch. Her wide eyes stayed connected with mine, her brows matching the crinkle in mine as she concentrated on me, just as I did her. I realized just how tense her shoulders had been as they relaxed with a calming breath pushing past her pretty lips. 

There was a flash of something behind her eyes, but she looked away again before I could analyze it. So, rather than standing around in her space any longer, I decided to go to the bathroom before I overstepped or bothered her any further.

But I couldn’t take more than two steps to walk away before she launched herself at me. Her arms wrapped comfortably and surely around my waist, tucking under my arms and palms resting between my shoulder blades. The way her head nestled against my exposed chest was almost too much to bear. Almost.

She’d done her best to bring herself as close to me as she possibly could. Her belly, the baby, was nestled so securely between us. Right where she belonged – not anywhere near the dickhead in her bedroom. 

The way she let her head rest against my chest was like a puzzle piece clicking into place. And it felt even better when I brought one hand up to cradle the back of her head, a few more of her tears dampening my skin and the fabric of my shirt. I let my fingers slip through the strands of her hair as my other hand massaged her scalp. Her hair was like silk between my fingers.

The way I felt her breathing even out beneath my touch and against my body made my heart skip a beat and pick back up to a pace that felt like coming home. 

But too soon, she was pulling away from me and shaking her head like she wasn’t sure about what she’d just done. I could see the wheels turning, her eyebrows creased tightly before her hands came to her face and furiously wiped at any leftover tears. Thankfully, she didn’t waste time looking at me again. I assumed my expression matched hers pretty well – conviction glazing over our eyes. I felt it at the feeling of being so close and how it felt so fucking right. It felt more right than wrong and that was scary as fuck. 

I was in a relationship with someone else and I couldn’t even bring myself to care. And the bullshit I’d fed Maya tonight? Did I believe that? Did y/n believe what she’d said? So, I locked eyes with her, pleading for her to hear my heart wrenching thoughts. To answer my questions for me. My chest felt like it had completely caved in on itself with how I felt at this moment.

I want us to work this out. Please, I searched her eyes, wishing she could understand. The way her eyes brightened a bit gave me hope that she understood to an extent. Please – somehow, some way. I need more with you again. I don’t give two fucks that my girlfriend is sleeping in the other room – she isn’t you. 

But she didn’t respond to it with anything other than a shake of her head, her fingers smoothing each of her eyebrows, one at a time. Her arms were getting tucked under her tits again, crossing tightly there. I tried not to stare. I knew she was trying to center herself and she needed the moment without me fucking gawking at her to do so.

God – it would make things so much easier if I could just open up my head and heart and let her look inside. Because, unfortunately, I didn’t know how to say the shit that had me all fucked up. But now wasn’t the time anyway. Since, yes, my girlfriend was sleeping in the next room over and her boyfriend thing was behind the door we were standing in front of.

“Why are you awake, Jake?” She tried her earlier question again just as quiet but the slightest bit clearer. But my mind was in a daze, just watching her lips move. Admiring the gentleness of her breaths, rising her chest. I definitely didn’t answer right away, which had her clearing her throat. 

When I blinked a few times, I let my eyes refocus on the here and now. “I had to pee,” you whispered back, words plain and void of any heavy elements of emotion. I didn’t want to get in my head and stick my foot in my damn mouth. 

I kept doing that, it seemed. I just kept fucking things up. And not just with words – going beyond words with foolish actions. So many actions. Actions I didn’t regret nearly as much as I should have.

“Oh,” was all she pushed through her lips, barely a breath of the word. She’d started nervously rubbing her bicep, eyes going down to look at my chest and abdomen before trailing right back up to my face. 

“What are you doing awake?” My eyes evaluated her figure, sensual in every way – she didn’t have to try. Her body was perfect in every way and I’d appreciate it while playing dumb to her goings-on. I didn’t want her to know that I’d heard any of it – the reason she was awake. Not yet anyway. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” she snapped at me in her little hushed tone. The way she’d bit it out, it was as if she was scolding me. No way. She didn’t get to do that when I caught her every fucking day staring at my body the exact same way. Not when she’d called me motherfucking Captain earlier in the evening, practically begging me with her eyes and spreading her legs for me in front of God and everybody. 

My line of sight instantly found hers again, one brow raising at her and a small smirk on my lips to try her. “What’s wrong with me looking at you?”

“I don’t want you to,” she said, all too quickly. 

“Hm,” I hummed, scanning her face for any sign of hesitancy. It was painted all over her features – she didn’t believe what she was saying either. I could especially tell by the way her eyes followed mine and how she bit her lip. She wasn’t anywhere near angry – at least not with me anyway. She was simply conflicted. 

Join the club, baby. 

“Don’t test me, Jacob,” she cautioned, her arms increasing their pressure under her breasts. 

So, I did. Test her.

I let my eyes immediately go to where she’d applied pressure, her tits accentuated with the way her arms pushed them up. Even with the big t-shirt on, I could see as her nipples hardened under my stare. The thought couldn’t even cross my mind to try to prove her right as I saw it happen. My mouth was too busy watering, my dick starting to twitch in my pants. Her chest was rising and falling at such a rapid rate, I just wanted to know so badly what it would look like to see her chest without the hindrance of clothing. I could only imagine what her tits looked like now. 

Fuck. I bit my lip and tucked my hands in my front pockets to stretch the front of my jeans enough to distract from what I felt happening in them. The second time she’d gotten me like this in one evening. The poor toilet paper, half of a roll completely used, having to catch all of my desperate release. My stupid fucking tears as I did my best to aim into the tissue, with a whisper of her name on my lips. As she’d sat in the living room, having to explain my thoughtless actions. 

Had they been thoughtless, though? Or had it been a sort of plan to force Maya to see something she needed to see? If that were the case, I’d let that plan crash and burn to the ground. But it was hard to consider the actions thoughtless. Not with how her body had called out to me, the game card working in our favor – allowing me to show the world how well we matched. How her body moved in perfect time with my hands. Trembling underneath me, right out in the open.

Oh, her body. I bit my lip as my eyes trailed down to her thighs. Her hips, where I’d had my hands placed purposefully as long as I could. Wanted to hold her so tightly by the hips, her belly situated so wonderfully for my thumbs to trace it while holding her. Then, my sights landed on the gentle way her toes wiggled against the carpet. And, slowly, I worked my way back. Over her thighs, hips, and to her belly. 

The thought of her voluptuous, pregnant body lived comfortably in my dreams. But I wanted to see it in person – actually see what she looked like underneath her clothes – wanted to fucking study her beautifully stretching skin. Wanted her completely bare for me and my eyes only. Her body was getting fuller in ways my brain couldn’t keep up with. It was fuckin’ heaven to watch her grow – her tits, ass, thighs. . . that precious belly that held my baby.

I let my eyes trail back up to her chest. Still rising and falling so steadily – like I’d seen so many times before when she’d lay naked under me, panting just as hard as her with my release trickling down her belly, between her breasts, anywhere I could get in time. It was truly ironic how hard we’d tried to be safe. Kind of funny, actually.

Now wasn’t the time for humor though. Not with how badly I needed to touch her naked body again. Even to only see it again would satisfy my raging, tempting curiosity. I wanted to see her new body naked – pregnant and growing everyday with my baby.

Quickly, my half-hard dick was no longer a worry as I remembered just who got a bare look at her before me. And that got the fuck under my skin so quickly, that I glanced back up soon enough to catch her biting her lip and keeping track of my gaze with a hazy one of her own. And when she realized I’d caught her, her mouth was falling open and closing just as quick. She licked her pink lips once, at a loss.

Neither of us said anything for a long, tense moment. I let my head fall as I tried to not think about what had transpired in her bedroom. Not when I’d just had her to myself tonight. I didn’t know the details of what she’d done with him and every single second I kept imagining it in ways I did not fucking want to. The hand I let rub over my face was in an effort to fix my expression. 

Get out of your damn head, Jake, I coached myself, mentally slapping the sides of my head to clear it. You’ve done the same fucking shit to her, asshole. Made her listen. It was past time you had a taste of it.

That was enough to snap me back to reality. My thoughts landed on the golden woman standing in front of me who I continued to get heated with for things she was doing – people she was seeing. A bunch of shit that I was holding over her that I’d done plenty of times before. It was not my place. Right? 

The only thing that I was hung up on was that she was the one with the baby inside of her. I felt this intense, almost carnal protection over our little girl in her womb. Did I get a say in what y/n exposed her to? Was that my right? Damn. . . shit was maddening as hell.

“Well,” she said, her voice raspy before she cleared her throat just as she had earlier. I adjusted my sights on her again, opening my eyes to find her biting her kissable lips. Once again, there was something behind her eyes. Her eyes, bright and wide and waiting for me to come back to the present. My head was cleared instantly of all conflict now that I held her eyes. “I’ll let you go to–.”

“Stay with me,” the words fell past my lips without any thought. 

“Um,” her brow raised, a slight cough escaping her. The hint of a grin came to rest on her features. “While you go. . . pee?”

What was I implying? Was I telling her I wanted her to go with me while I peed? What the–?

Wouldn’t be the first time, my thoughts jested at me. The idea of the past made a small grin land on my lips. Strange request, but it had already happened before – peeing in the bathroom back to back, sharing our morning routine. Was it okay to do that now though?

Fuck it. Did I even care if it was okay? 

“Like you haven’t seen me pee before?” I replied, the hint of a laugh on my lips as my smile widened. My head was clearing. I’d be fine. Just had to concentrate on the here and now. On her. Right in front of me. 

Her expression was past the point of staying stony, her lips stretched to show a wide smile now. But she did seem to contemplate it for a minute. So, I rushed to retract what I’d said. “You don’t have to if it’s weird since we’re–.”

“Sure,” she responded, voice still a whisper to match mine. “I need to go too, anyway, so.”

“Do you want me to wait outside while you pee?”

“Why would you do that?”

Her question shocked me. She was alright with me being with her while she pissed? That seemed all the more significant than her being with me while I did it. And how in the fuck had this all started with me needing to pee? And now it was turning into a sort of group pissing session with y/n? The ludicrous nature of it all was enough to make my teeth show with a quiet laugh. 

“I want to respect your priv–.”

“If you’re okay with me being with you while you pee, I’m fine with you being with me,” she reasoned, her hand coming out to graze my arm for a second. Too short of a moment for me to make anything of it. She was simply being a friend. I liked it. Even though I wanted more, I liked it. Being her friend was an incredible gift on its own. It just sort of hurt to think of–.

No, Jake. Not now, a voice corrected me, sounding like Josh. This happened from time to time, my inner voice chiding me while sounding just like his voice. The fucker’s advising voice lived rent free in my head. Just go fucking pee.

I motioned for her to lead the way, but she motioned for me to do it at the same time. And when she refused to move, I knew she wouldn’t start walking until I did. Stubbornness was one of her defining traits and I was used to it. Something that pissed me off, but also made her who she was and I loved who she was. 

She quietly followed me to the bathroom, her soft steps padding behind me in a way that made my heart feel whole. 

As soon as we made it to the bathroom, I made sure she knew she had to enter first. Holding the door open for her, my feet planted on the ground as I motioned for her to go inside. Surprisingly, she didn’t hesitate. Instead, she was rushing in, forcing me to follow her lead and remember she was pregnant and needing to pee wasn’t a joke. 

I shut the door, and as soon as I did, she was pulling down her pants. Hastily, I decided that I wasn’t going to watch her pee, trying to respect her privacy at least a little bit. When I heard her start to go with a heavy sigh, a relieved grin reached my mouth. Although, until that moment, I hadn’t realized I was feeling the urgency with her enough to feel relieved for her–with her. 

The way she gently sighed though – it brought on some serious guilt. Because, yes, she was pregnant and had come out of her bedroom to pee. I shouldn’t have let her lag in the hallway. Even though I didn’t like it, I knew she’d been doing shit with Theo. And peeing after sex was already necessary, and on top of being pregnant? 

“I’m really fucking sorry I made you wait,” I said, a touch louder than the hallway since we were now behind a door. 

She huffed a little giggle, the melodic sound leaving her lips at the same time I heard the toilet flush. “I’m the one who forced you to tell me why you were awake. It’s my fault,” she excused, the sink already turning on behind me to tell me she was washing her hands. Once more, I heard a little giggle escape her. “My pants are up now. You’re in the clear.”

I turned around, only to find myself staring in the mirror and her staring straight at me. She was smiling so wide it made my insides feel weak. 

My own lips stretched to share a laugh with her. “I didn’t want to disrespect you by watching you take a piss.”

“Jake. Be so serious,” she smirked, the sink flicking off before she gently towel dried her hands. 

“I am being serious!” I clarified, half smile still resting on my lips. 

She only shook her head, still grinning. I pushed my hair back over my forehead before I lifted the toilet seat. And without even thinking about it, I started unzipping my pants. The action made her turn around herself, her cheeks pink before she was facing the same wall I had been looking at only a minute before. Her shoulders were shaking a little with her fit of giggles before I turned to pull my pants down enough and focus on my aim. 

As much as I wanted to stare at her ass, making a mess while taking a fuckin’ piss would be embarrassing as hell. 

I couldn’t think of much more than how good it felt to pee as soon as it was happening. The need apparently hadn’t gone away once, contrary to my belief, because my bladder was definitely less tight as I flushed the toilet myself. But whatever the fuck I’d woken up hearing was enough to apparently make the urge disappear, while still definitely being there. 

Stupid ass life. My life as a whole had honestly become a comedy club. Whatever. It didn’t matter. 

“You can turn around,” I repeated her words, trying my best to not think of her naked and underneath him as I closed the seat and tucked myself into my pants. 

Fuck – the sounds had conjured up this image that wouldn’t leave my brain. His hands on her belly. The same image I’d had before of them spread across the island. But this time, it was in her bedroom. And it was based on reality. Something I’d actually heard. I wanted to openly retch at the idea of him holding onto her full tits which I knew were sore as hell, due to what they were growing to provide. I’d done so much fucking reading on all of it – I didn’t need her to tell me for me to know. But the night in the kitchen. . . how she’d been so relieved for me to touch them. Had it been like that with him? Her body relaxing with contented sighs at him holding her heavy breasts?

I grit my teeth and washed my hands quickly, suddenly needing to get out of the tight space of the bathroom. All I wanted to do was sit her on top of it and pull her panties down. And as much as I could convince myself not to, I was going to regret if I did it and regret if I didn’t do it. The inside of my head was a fuckin’ storm. I just wanted to sleep. 

But. . . if I went to my room, it meant she’d go back to him. Was that truly what I wanted? No. It was-fucking-not what I wanted.

It doesn’t matter, that Josh-like voice started again. You don’t get to choose what she does. You’ve told her yourself that it doesn’t work like that. Suck it up, Jacob.

Looking up from how I was furiously washing my hands, I saw her watching me from behind. She was surveying me, thinking deeply. I could tell by the way she was chewing the inside of her lip. Something I don’t think she even knew she did. But I knew. I noticed every tiny thing she did. Every fidget.

“You washing your face?” I asked, briefly glancing down to turn off the water and dry my hands. I was trying to let common sense take over and train my mind back to sane places. 

When I swiveled on a foot to face her once more, her eyes were back to being a bit more hollow. The swirling studious reflection in her eyes from before had washed away. She was centered. She was able to tame her thoughts while I was failing miserably at it. 

“Not tonight,” she shook her head. And then she was chewing the inside of her cheek once again. “I’m tired. Long day.”

“Yeah,” I nodded slowly, a smile unable to stay off my features as I thought back to the appointment. It had been the best part of my day next to having y/n falling apart at my barely-there touches during a motherfucking game.

I’d experienced heaven at that doctor’s office. Watching our baby girl, learning her already. I had a name for her stowed away already. I’d traced it on y/n’s belly in the kitchen earlier in the evening, but I was waiting to see if she had any ideas of her own before I launched mine. Didn’t want to cloud her thought process with my own. I needed to give her space and that was one small way I could. 

“Well, let’s go to bed, then,” I said, voice hushing once more. Even with a somber feeling fogging up my brain, I still managed to smile enough for it to reach my eyes. For the precious woman in front of me that was selflessly carrying our child. “You lead the way this time.”

End of Jake’s POV

-🌼🌼🌼- 

Theo had been waiting for you at the bedroom door. Leaning against the doorframe like a fucking impatient child – or a mother worried sick about her child. It had been horrendous timing. Jake had almost made it to the bedroom door to drop you off. 

You hadn’t even realized Theo was leaning against the doorframe until he was clearing his throat before you. 

You’d been too consumed in Jake to notice. Consumed truly being the only word you could think of to describe the feeling. The walk back to your room had been so wonderful. You’d shared the smallest, quietest laughs about nothing and it had been bliss. He’d kept in perfect time as you walked beside each other. Your hands had grazed a couple of times, shoulders bumping maybe too frequently. The butterflies had been going ballistic in your tummy.

But, when the motherfucker had given that little cough to alert you of his presence, you’d both looked up from the other to see him. He’d been standing there, so self righteous. You’d felt Jake’s body tense beside you – didn’t need to be touching him to know he was fuming over the interruption.

“Wondering where you went,” the blonde had started, his eyebrow raising as if he were teasing you. “Missed you.”

What the fuck had you gotten yourself into? Dammit. You hated the way he was talking to you and you’d hated even more the way his stupidly thick fingers had felt inside of you. 

Quite frankly, you didn’t want to respond, but you knew he wouldn’t go back in your room until you did. “Just had to pee. Told you that,” you answered semi-honestly. “Ran into Jake in the hallway. We were talking about apartment things.” A lie. Didn’t need him knowing what you were talking about. And you weren’t about to tell him you missed him back – you hadn’t missed him. Honestly, you’d kind of forgotten that he’d been waiting for you. 

Your voice was louder than it should have been with the living room full of sleeping people, but it was impossible to give a proper answer without being a bit louder. You didn’t even want to be giving these explanations, though. It was your home. You were allowed to say and do what you wanted when you wanted. No matter who was waiting in your bedroom for you. Why couldn’t he have just stayed put?

“Will you be much longer?” He wondered aloud, his voice louder than it should have been as well. 

You shushed him, a finger to your lips and everything, just like before. The jock smirked and winked as if it were an inside joke. Ugh. This was fucking annoying and you knew Jake was already making assumptions based on Theo’s stupid little response. 

“No. And be quiet. Please,” you urged, with an expression lacking any sort of humor to match his. “There are people sleeping. Just go wait. I need to finish talking to Jake about a few things.”

The second wink the football player gave you made you want to bend over and hurl. Why? Because. At that moment, you wanted to be a heinous bitch and straight-up tell him that the way Jake used to finger you was worlds better than the sad little trick he’d performed in your bedroom. Wanted him to know his place and humble himself.

Would it have even mattered to Theo, though? Probably not. He’d gotten over the situation in the living room fairly quickly. . . he was too cocksure for it to matter. He was overconfident when he really shouldn’t have been. You’d easily learned that the guy was kind of an asshole who said and did whatever he wanted. Yes, he was cute. . . but almost everything else about him turned you off. He made your insides squirm in ways you detested. And the fact that he’d just had his fingers inside of you –. Yeah, you wanted to hurl.

“I’ll be waiting,” he replied, tone too flirty for your suddenly queasy stomach. 

Then, he was looking at Jake. Fuck. Wrong move, Theo.

Chancing a quick look at Jake, you saw the muscle in his jaw flex. And from your peripheral, you noticed a motion at his side. You glanced down to your side, and noticed Jake clenching a fist between the two of you. For a moment, you looked once more at Jake’s face. Wanted to get him to see you so he could relax. 

But, there was definitely no way Jake was going to look at you. He was too busy glaring at Theo, while simultaneously trying to school his features. He was failing miserably at seeming calm and collected.

You simply willed the football player to not say anything too dense, eying him carefully as he spoke. “Don’t keep her from me for too long, buddy,” Theo smugly remarked. “We’ve got a good time to finish.”

Thankfully, after those dreadful words were spoken, he was gone. He’d slipped through the door and clicked it shut behind him before Jake could even respond. With the way Jake’s harsh, choppy breaths could be heard in the quietness of the hallway, you didn’t want to know what Jake would have responded. Especially with the way he'd avoided Theo all night, being the only one who hadn’t spoken a word to your. . . date. 

Slowly, you turned on your heel, ready to give Jake a look that would let him know that you were just as annoyed as he was. But when you locked eyes with him, his jaw was still locked tight. His lips were pursed. You were contemplating how you were going to finish the night easily with him when he spoke. 

“How long have you two been fucking?” He whispered, folding his arms across his chest. 

Goddammit! Your mind halted at that, cheeks instantly reddened. Had he heard us? Fuckfuckfuckfuck. Stupid to bank on everyone being asleep. 

The fire that settled in your face, all the way down to your toes fueled your next words. Although, you couldn’t tell if you were more mad at him or the bumbling idiot behind your door. Or, maybe, you should’ve thanked Theo. You’d finally been able to give Jake a taste of his own damn medicine.

“Jacob,” you spit, whispering still, taking a step towards him, pointing a finger at his chest. “It is not your business. We’ve been over this. I’m tired of it.”

“I happen to think it is my business when you’re carrying my child,” he measured, taking his own step in your direction. 

Your fingertip grazed the warm skin of his arm. But before you could think anything of it, you placed your hands on your hips. Well, more like the back of them since you had a belly in the way. As much as you hated to admit it, you knew he had a point. It was the same reason you’d been apprehensive of doing anything with anyone. There was someone in your belly that you shared with someone else. How did one handle that? 

“It’s my body, Jake,” you decided on spitting back. Although, the defense felt as though it were missing a few parts. 

“I know. And I respect that. You know I do. But now she – a part of me – is inside of you,” he responded, his tone switching from irritated to. . . defenseless. With his next words, he stood up a little straighter and used one hand to point a finger at your belly. He didn’t touch it. . . even if you wanted him to. “You’re carrying a part of me, so it is my business.”

You hated that you actually agreed with him. You got it. It didn’t feel right to be with someone else. You couldn’t force your brain to fully adjust to the idea of someone else. Was it because of the baby? Or was it because you just wanted him? You weren’t totally sure. But you did know that he had a point. He wasn’t completely wrong. And, seriously – you hated it. After a minute of silence and nostrils flaring at the other, you’d found words that you truly did actually believe in. Words that definitely contradicted him. Gave you some ground.

“You don’t get to lay claim on me because of that,” you argued, pushing his hand away that was still pointed at your belly. 

You regretted the action because it caused him to back away slightly. And that was the last thing you wanted. However, you appreciated the way his body seemed to relax slightly at the words of sense you’d just stated. He took a deep, steadying breath, eyes closing. When he opened them, though, the fiery look in the dark irises still pierced your heart. And made your heart race all at once.

“I know I don’t, baby,” he replied, the pet name falling off of his lips without a pause. Your heart leapt at him calling you that. He shook his head before brushing a hand through his hair. The way he beheld you from his new position, eyes honed in on you, digging into you and making your skin lick with heat. “But that’s not what I fucking mean and you know it.”

Rather than agreeing, you decided to challenge him. Put him on the spot. “Do I?” “Yes. You do. I know you do. Quit acting so fucking obtuse, y/n,” he countered, pushing a hand through the front of his hair to tousel it. For what must’ve been for the eightieth in a single night.

Doing your best to not be distracted by him, you instead braced yourself on the willpower to keep at him. Wanted to get under his skin until he was forced to be irritated enough to leave you alone. Or, push you up against your bedroom door. No, y/n. No.

You didn’t want to think about how he had a point. It just made you feel hopeless that you would never have a chance to move on from him. Not that you wanted to – you just knew you had to. You weren’t good for him and he had Maya. 

Good job sucking his dick and throwing a wrench in things, by the way, y/n, the little devil on your shoulder reprimanded you. It was a daily occurrence that the inner voice reminded you of that shitty decision. Now you’ve made things harder for you and for him. Real nice.

The negative voice wasn’t completely gone with the therapy, just smaller and quieter when it would come around. Normally, the voice made you want to crawl in a deep, dark hole, but with this lovely reminder it kept giving you, you just wanted to punch a wall. 

There was a definite truth in what it was telling you. Whatever. Situation at hand. The voice could fuck off for now. Jake deserved to be called out for being a fucking child about Theo. You were not the only one acting ‘obtuse’. No, he’d had his fair share of being on the stubborn side of things as of late.

“Oh,” you blinked, your eyebrows set in a straight line at him as your own jaw clenched. The finger you pointed at yourself was to emphasize your point. Get him to listen. “I’m acting obtuse?”

“Yes,” he plainly stated, cheeks red under the hue from the living room lights, his deep set eyes, ablaze. Then he grabbed your hand, keeping it steady in his. The feeling of his hand wrapped around yours made your heart thump a bit harder in your chest. “You are. You’re being hard headed and refusing to hear me.”

“Yet. . .,” you began, taking a step closer to him, but ripping your hand from his. The whole point of this was making sure he knew you had your own ground to stand on. He didn’t have to know you felt shaky about it. “You are the one who – all fucking day – has been making sure to let me know how absurdly jealous you are of me and Theo.”

“You think I’m jealous of him? That floundering fucking moron?”

“Jacob. You quite actually said so yourself,” you rolled your eyes, placing your hands on your lower back. “At the clinic today being one specific example.”

He sighed, his eyes lightening a bit at you calling him out. “Okay. Yes, I did say that. Of course I hate that he gets to have you,” he admitted, his arms coming up to cross his chest but brushing against your breasts in the process. Fuck. You did your best to cover yourself, no matter how uncomfortable it was. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice the mishap. His eyes were lasered in on yours. “He just fucking wishes he could have you like I got to have you.”

Without thinking twice, you said something you knew would get him. Still whispering, you spat the next words at him. “Well he’s the one who just had his fingers inside of me and has you all up in arms over this shit. So who’s fucking winning this stupid ass game, Jake?”

He simply stood there for a moment, his chest muscles were tight. He was so tense that even his chest was flexing. The sight was bad for you. His pecs had always made you weak. Your eyes honed in on his perfectly toned chest; it was easy to appreciate, with the way he wore his button down shirts. You’d never stop thanking God for how he wore his shirts. 

You watched his chest steadily rise and fall with each heavy breath. The space between his pecs, where a couple of his piratical necklaces laid, and the muscle that rounded out his strong chest. . . distracting. Your eyes trailed to his face. In the dim hue of the twinkle lights, you could see the red flush taking over his face and chest. He ran one stiff hand through his hair and took one step towards you, his lips still pursed and his jaw, so fucking tight. 

“Fine. I just don’t want to have to hear it, y/n,” he grumbled at you, his eyes darting over every inch of your face. One more step towards you. You quickly moved your arms away, just so his chest could land against yours. Needed to feel him. “I told you that.”

“And I told you that,” you hissed at him, taking a step even when you didn’t have to, flush against him now. Your sore breasts against his solid chest felt akin to a cool breeze on a summer day. “When you first moved in, Jake. And did that stop you? Back then, you broke the rule. And don’t you forget what the fuck you did when you started dating Maya. I had to see it, Jake. You didn’t give a shit what I’d told you.”

When you stepped towards him, his narrowed eyes slowly trailed from your pleading ones – to your touching bodies. His eyes observed long enough for you to know he liked it just as much as you did. Then, he was looking at you again, biting his lip. But he still hadn’t said anything.

“Exactly,” you said in finality, taking that as your opportunity to have the last word. Hm. You fucking won.

Or so you thought. You should’ve known better.

“But I stopped,” he reasoned, still quiet. His breath fanned over your face with how close he was. “After our talk the other night. I fucking stopped. Out of respect for what we’re going through. I understood where you were coming from. And you’re the one who brought it up to me – who created the damn rule in the first place. So does that mean you’re the only one who has the right to break it? Doesn’t seem very fucking fair to me, baby.”

A couple of minutes passed, your eyes never leaving the other and your bodies close enough to breathe in time with the other. Not to mention the way his hot breath continued to fan over your face, making your body feel more alive than it had since the game. Fuck. The game. His fingers. On you. In your underwear. Outside of your underwear – where you needed him most. 

You were, yet again, silenced. But not for long.

“The point is,” you began, straightening your posture and jutting your chin out at him. His face was tight, brow raised to consider your point. “If I want him to fuck me, Jake,” you took the last step you could take, his back brushing the wall with how close you were. Your body, responding to him in every way it possibly could. “Then he’s going to fuck me.”

Jake’s lids went heavy as he studied you, his mouth held inexplicably still. But, he didn’t have time to respond. Your worst imaginings, coming to fruition as you heard Maya call for him from the living room. Faster than light, you jumped back from him. You did not need her on your case twice in one night. Fuck that shit.

Without having to communicate as to why it seemed a better position, the two of you hastily traded spots. Him, no longer against the wall. You, beside your door. It made things look platonic. Because things were platonic. Though, the looks being exchanged between you were nowhere near the word.

You just thought of his words tonight. Your words. You had to live up to them. Whether you liked it or not. No matter how badly it hurt you to hear the words over and over in your mind. And now, sans talking, you were able to reflect, yet again, on what he’d said to her earlier. 

“Maya, babe. I don’t know what the fuck just happened.” “Don’t want you to think. . .” “We were never anything. Still aren’t.” “There’s nothing to be hung up on.”  “Y/n and I aren’t a thing. Never have been, never will be.”

Tears were, once again, gathering in your eyes. The words had magically escaped your spiraling thoughts until this moment. You'd done such a good job avoiding all of it once you'd come out of the bathroom. But now you had to remember. . . you’d started the blunt statements. You hadn’t meant them. You couldn’t truly mean them. Had it been the same for him? Had he just been trying to cover your asses? 

Before you could say or even think another thing, you saw her tight, shapely body traipse up behind him. Instantly, wrapping her arms around his torso, at which he tensed. You wrapped your arms subconsciously around your own torso, suddenly very insecure at your pregnant pudginess. You did your best to not pay them any mind. Your eyes, trained down at the floor, your toes, tucked into the carpet. 

“I’m ready for bed, Jakey,” Maya squeaked, sounding as though she was ready for a highlight reel on E!. She wasn’t from the fucking Valley. Why did she sound like that? While your thoughts frenzied at her ridiculous dialect, your flesh prickled at her calling him Jakey. You loved the nickname, but detested how it sounded coming from her lips. “Babe?”

At her calling him that, you looked up. He wasn’t paying attention to her at all. He was still watching you, his eyes fixed on your face. Fuck. He wanted to keep talking to you. You could tell – his eyes, equal parts frustrated at being stopped and desperate to continue. He looked as though he was a man racing against time. You understood. Completely. You wanted to continue as well. And you simultaneously, silently wondered what it could’ve led to. But. . . she was waiting. 

“Your girlfriend is ready for bed, Jake,” you reiterated, voice too-sweet from the irritation that lingered in your veins. Not with him. Not really. You just wanted to keep talking to him. No matter the case. Because, for some reason, no matter how you spoke – angrily, sensually, flirtily, kindly, jokingly, confusedly, even – a piece of an imaginary puzzle clicked into place. Every. Single. Time. 

The same conflict that swam timidly in his eyes surely swam laps in yours.

“Jakey, baby. Come on,” she whined again, tugging at his sleeve. God. You wanted to throat punch her. Did she not realize he was obviously upset over something? Why was she not caring to take a second to pay attention? Fuck tiredness. Jake was worth understanding, no matter how badly she wanted to sleep. “Let’s go, babe,” the black haired beauty at his side tried once more.

Your face was glowering at her. But she wasn’t concerned with you, her eyes stuck to his profile. He still hadn’t turned to receive her. She hadn’t even tried to figure out why he hadn’t moved, just continued to beg him to do what she wanted. Begging him like an incompetent toddler. Why was he with someone who didn’t care to figure him out? He deserved someone who took the time to know him, read him – inside and out. 

Finally, he turned his head towards his back, where she still stood. One arm, still tight around his waist. He tapped the arm signaling for her to move it, shaking her other hand off of his sleeve. She squeaked in disappointment, while you stood there confused. Your brows, drawn together. 

His eyes scanned you once more, determination set in his irises, before he looked to the side to address her. “Just go wait for me.” Then, he was looking at you yet again. Your cheeks heated at his rapt attention to you. “I’ll be there in a second,” he spoke to her, eyes never leaving yours. 

Somehow, even after the night’s events, Maya didn’t take too long to agree. After moaning and groaning a couple of times, she settled on a pout before she leaned up to give him a kiss. You looked away, a little too slow. You’d accidentally let yourself see her grab the back of his neck, turning his head in the process.

But, thankfully, you didn’t watch it happen this time. He didn’t watch you as it happened. You didn’t let him. Instead, you placed two gentle hands over your tummy, (not-so) patiently tapping out an Earth, Wind, and Fire rhythm as you waited out the kiss. Her humming, the barely-there moan as she explored his lips made you want to gnaw at fucking bone. 

“Okay,” you heard him declare, seemingly finished. But, you kept your line of sight trained down, still. “I’ll see you in a minute. Go get some sleep.”

“Don’t take too long,” Maya said in a sexy way that rivaled phone sex operators. 

When you felt you’d waited long enough, you looked towards the door. You’d waited just long enough, witnessing his door shutting. And, as soon as the door closed, you turned back to him. And him, you. 

“Why didn’t you go with her?” You quietly questioned, any previous bitterness, gone.

“I’m not finished with this conversation,” he simply stated, shoulders squared and sure. His hands tucked into his pockets as he took a stride towards you, close enough again that you could reach up and touch him if you wanted. 

“Why not?” You hushed, averting your eyes from his. He was so near and he’d just chosen you – you couldn’t trust yourself to look at him. Timidly, you let a heavy breath touch his skin, so close. 

His fingers, calloused yet delicate, lifted your chin to meet his gaze. You felt your eyes create moisture at the gentle act. “Because,” he began earnestly, his eyes searching yours. “This is important to me.”

“More important than her?” You questioned in a barely-there whisper.

“I know it might be hard for you to understand just how important you are to me,” he pressed closer, just enough that your chests were once again touching. Your breath was caught in your throat as he leaned down to better address you. “But it’s been this way for a long damn time and I don’t see it stopping anytime soon. Especially now that you’re pregnant with my baby.”

You offered a few shaky breaths before you decided you needed to say something in return. Intending to somehow wrap up what the two of you had started. “Like I said,” you continued, his hand still under your chin. Your eyes, floating between his amber-brown irises. “That doesn’t mean you lay claim on me.”

“I know, baby,” he countered, sighing with a heaving breath and a twinkle in his eye. “But, I am half of what is in here.” He gently touched your belly, attempting to remind you once more that the baby was his. 

Your first instinct was to lean into his touch, let the moment carry on. And, you did lean in – just enough that he noticed. But, you quickly decided against it. It wasn’t morally sound. This intimate moment. It was not fucking right. You let your eyes dig deep into his, begging him to feel the irresponsibility in this with you. You two were getting carried away. Time and again.

His brows drew in, following every movement of your gaze. When he drew his head back a little, you knew he was feeling something similar to you. You saw the realization dawn on his features. 

You’d both taken the time to apologize for the shit in the living room, and acting like this was going against your word. Your character was now coming into question. His character. Saying one thing and doing another. Fucking terrible. Selfish. The word rang once again in your ear, in that same nasty tone from times’ past. Dark, filthy, decrepit times. 

No longer could you make these reckless, selfish decisions. Not while you carried a baby inside who needed you. Already, you had to try to be an example. You couldn’t keep bouncing from incident to incident with Jake. It was all becoming too much for your heart to keep up with. So, with a giant step backwards, Jake’s hand was left hanging in the air where you’d just been standing. You’d made a strangely abrupt decision that you decided necessary to stand by.

He wasn’t attainable. Simple fact. You thought back to the bathroom, finding the tissues in the trash can right after you’d decided to focus on positive things for your little girl. You had to be selfless and let go of the one person your heart helplessly hoped for. . . You had to try to figure your shit out before there was a baby involved.  

All this thing with Jake did was make your heart pinch sadly in your chest. Each of you had people waiting for you in your bedrooms, for god's sake. No matter who they were, you had to quit this to show a morsel of respect towards them, yourselves, and ultimately your baby girl.

Giving it a second of thought and nothing more, you decided to curtly respond. You measured the words in your mind, briefly chewing on them, deciding if they were cutting enough to resonate with him. Had to end the moment. Would you end up regretting this? At the moment, you were too exhausted to care.

“Doesn’t mean you’re entitled to know a damned thing about my life,” you said, the words feeling false on your lips. Shaking your head, you smoothed your hands down the front of your t-shirt, distancing the two of you enough that you were almost leaning on your bedroom door. Him, across from you, now several steps away. It hurt to be far apart. “The baby, yes. Not me. You need to understand that,” you bit the words at him. 

And, without a thought, you knew the final nail you had to plunge into the coffin. These words felt sticky on your tongue. You didn’t want to speak the words, but felt you had to. It was best for the baby. “And things like tonight. . . they cannot happen, Jake. The little times here and there, those haven’t been smart. And I’m sorry for my part in those. . . But tonight?” You raised your brows, your tone a pitch higher as you thought back to the intense moment shared between you. “In a room full of people, Jake. We have to stop being so irresponsible. For her,” you placed a hand gently on your tummy, your eyes peering up at him, begging for support. “We need to find a stable ground for her to land on. The back and forth is not good for a baby. It’s unpredictable and scary.”

He stood in front of you for a second, obviously processing your words. But it didn’t take too long for him to respond with a nod of his head. And, for some reason, you wished it had taken him longer. “Okay,” he coolly responded, his face opening just the slightest at the word. His posture suddenly eased as the tiniest grin formed at his lips. 

-🌼🌼🌼- 

Jake’s POV

“Okay,” she nodded in response, her face flashing with doubt. Just for a second. “Goodnight, Jake,” she breathed, her chest no longer close enough to mine for me to feel. Her eyes, the most incredible pool of color, scanned my face once more before she was reaching up. For some delusional reason, I thought she was about to touch my face.

She never did, of course. Why would she? She was obviously upset and I’d been the one to make her that way. I watched the hand, as she used it to tuck hair behind her own ear. 

But just as soon, she was gone. Her body disappeared behind her door, and I was left standing in the same spot I’d been in many times before. And I felt like a motherfucking asshole. An asshole who wanted nothing more but to apologize to her for any and all confrontation.

She’d made it clear it wasn’t my business, just as I had told her of my love life. Yet, somehow, I’d let myself repeatedly disrespect that. No matter how strongly I felt for her, it wasn’t okay for me to ever make her feel like she wasn’t entitled to live her life however she wanted. I didn’t take back what I’d said – I didn’t want to know about the sex. I didn’t want to hear it. Just as she’d instructed me, I wanted the same from her. 

That wasn’t too much to ask. But, repeatedly bringing Theo up? I needed to quit that shit. Yes, he was a fucking moron, but she’d never done that to me with Maya. Not in the way I had with him. She had always respected my love life. . . She’d even gone so far as to assure Maya tonight of us being nothing. The word was haunting. Nothing. Did she really, truly believe that? 

I didn’t know. And, if it was true, I didn’t need to know. It was the past. . . and that was the hardest part to wrap my mind around. I’d spoken the fucking words with my mouth, too. The web was so tangled and I wanted nothing more than to throw a mistle through it, disrupting each intricate knot we’d created.

We’d made mistakes in recent days. Mistakes that kept me fucking wanting her. . . I’d wanted her before those mistakes, too, yes. . .  but those stolen moments were not doing me any damn good. So I knew good and well they weren’t good for her either. All the touches of hands and mouths against bodies did was crush any chance of us being healthy co-parents for our little girl. And all they did was remind me – every time they happened – that she wasn’t mine to have.

Those things that we’d slipped up on, they shouldn’t have mattered. But I’d let them matter. I’d let them distract me from the most important tiny person in all of this. All that needed to matter was our baby. And it needed to matter how much y/n was doing every damned day for that baby. It was enough to make me realize she was doing so much more than I ever could for her. She was a fucking badass. And, she deserved nothing but complete and utter respect from me. 

But all I’d done was question and worry and put her on the spot more times than a few. Most recently, over her stupid ass study buddy. I was putting too much on her. I needed to fucking stop. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel pressured by me to stop something that might make her happy. She was a smart woman – the smartest I knew – who could do what she wanted. She didn’t need my opinions. Truly. 

There were just a lot of memories swimming around in my mind every single fucking day – day in and day out. Aside from our summer of bliss which was a constant reel in my head, I had a few pleasant and unpleasant memories mixed in there, too.

The night we’d smoked, for one. And that dreaded day in the kitchen, so many months ago. All of the time spent watching her from afar for the couple of months we barely talked. Those months had been miserable, even if Maya had been a decent distraction. The distraction could only work so well, I’d come to find. 

Those months that rattled in my brain included that damn Halloween party. Her, in that sexy ass costume, already pregnant with my baby. Me, drinking as much as I could to avoid looking at her. Though, it’d had the opposite effect. My eyes had been glued to her from across the room all night that night. 

I’d obviously had no idea then who she was carrying in her belly, but I didn’t need to know. That night, I’d still gone to sleep thinking of her naked body. I’d fallen asleep with her bare body on my mind countless nights in that time of not talking. I could still remember. . . when I had taken a shower the night of the party, leaned against the shower wall and drunk off my ass. . . I’d pumped my fist furiously over my dick as images of her bigger tits in that tiny costume flooded my exhausted mind.

And, as I'd finished all over my shaking hand, her name had fallen from my lips in sweet surrender. It had been the first time I’d said her name as I finished. . . in a long while. 

After that, there was the image of her in nothing but a towel, and a phone revealing the most shocking news a person could discover. And it didn’t matter how hard I tried, it still bothered me that she’d told Josh before me. Ludicrous as that may have seemed – but that was just something I still had to get over myself. 

Then, the night she spilled her water. Wet body in my arms, my hands ready to hold her and protect her and our baby from a fall. And the fucking thought of her bent over the armrest in my jeep, a fully pregnant belly brushing my hand as she gave me the best fucking head. 

The less-sexual, serene times where we would hang out together, or hold hands, or meet eyes, or look at our baby on that monitor together. . . those moments in time were pretty fucking shitty to ponder, too. A little worse, I’d say, actually. Because in those moments, I saw so much in her eyes that I wanted to decipher, but felt like I didn’t have the right to. Felt like I didn’t have the right to those special parts of her. Not anymore. 

Fleeing to Maya in September had been the biggest fucking mistake. Rather than taking any damn time for myself, I’d used someone. I’d let another woman distract me from y/n – the one woman who’d meant more to me than anyone before her. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to make y/n jealous with it, too. I wanted her to realize I didn’t need her. I wanted her to hurt like she’d hurt me.

It had been the biggest fucking mistake. A selfish, heedless decision. And now I was paying for it. Like I fucking deserved. 

Maya just wasn’t y/n. Plain and simple. But there was no use leaving her if y/n didn’t want the whole thing with me. All of it. What I’d hoped for all summer, only for her to break me in the kitchen. She still didn’t want that with me. And. . . I had to be okay with that.

Y/n deserved the fucking world. Truly. She just didn’t understand her worth. . . The least I could do from my place in her life was treat her right. She was undoubtedly the best person I’d ever met, and she had to know it. She had to know how wonderful she was. 

I finally made it to my bed after the slowest walk known to man. And, after I laid down, scooting as far to the edge of my bed from Maya as possible, I decided what I had to do. I was going to make it my fucking job to prove to y/n that she was absolutely worthy of all good things. No more bullshit. I wanted to help her, not stress her.

As my eyes shut, I knew I would be starting in the morning by apologizing for being such an enormous dick to her. Yet again. And, I’d begin doing my best to keep my hands to myself. That would be hard, but it was what she wanted. Y/n was worthy of every beautiful thing and more. I just had to show her. I was determined to do the best by her.

For her. 

End of Jake’s POV

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: see you soon! (believe me. really. i promise.) truly, chapter 12 is nearly awaiting a post ;)

-🌼🌼🌼-

Taglist (continued in reblog):

@jakekiszkapunchmeintheface, @jaketlover, @ohgodthefeeling-gvf, @starcatcher-jake, @anythingforjtk, @lucimoo, @indigostreakmorgan, @gretavanbear, @katelynn-gvf, @alwaysonthemend @aintthatapity, @bowievanfleet, @fwzco, @takenbythemadness, @cherry-icecreamsmile, @laneygvf, @hi-hi-hello11, @sinarainbows, @jakesbarbarian, @mybussyinchrist, @becinabubblegvf, @heckingfrick, @danigvf, @pinkandsleepy1934, @derrangeddumpsterfire, @klarxtr, @josh-iamyour-mama, @abby-gvf, @cassyface, @gretavansabotage, @sacredtheslay, @alienobsever, @hollyco, @age0fwagner, @raceb14, @stardustcatcher, @styles-canvas, @ladywhimsymoon, @earthgrlsreasy, @peaceloveunitygvf @torniturntomyarrow, @joshsbonnet, @llrosee, @starshine-gvf, @itsafullmoon, @gvfmarge, @creadliz98, @mackalah, @lek-gvf, @carlyfleet, @profitofthedune, @mefiorini, @welllauragvf, @highway-tuna, @dont-go-home-without-me, @sarah-gvf01, @polemicandcontent, @ageofbajabule, @texas-bbq-pringles @builtbybrokenbells, @stardustjake, @indigostreaksolo, @tripthelightfantastix, @kiszkas-canvas, @jakebrainrot, @anthemheatwave@chichi610, @freyjalw, @scoreofinfantryvines, @stonecoldmo, @divapadam

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[icarusredwings]

It's Bed Time, Kiddo. Part 1/3

Writing this was kind of hard because imagining being tucked in by THE Wolverine is the safest feeling, and It makes me tired.

No tws!

Standing at the door with all of her things, Vanessa had a bitter sweet smile on her face as she saw how melted Wade was into his shoulder, clinging to him like wax that was still moveable but so warm and content where it was.

"Thanks again for coming on such short notice. And for the food.. how uhm.. How much do I owe you?" He says to her, very gently moving him to the other shoulder in order to grab his wallet.

She shook her head. "Nothin' just... take care of him. He deserves it."

"He does, doesn't he?" He muttered, running a hand over his back as he whined.

"Yeah.. Hey, uhm.. Logan?" She asks, tilting her head and took a breath after moving her weight to the other foot. He could already tell that she was nervous and now he was too. It's not that she wasn't nice and all. It's just.. He's tried being in the middle of stuff before. It never works out for him.. and he didn't want to ruin what they already had going on.

"Look, Vanessa I-"

"I want you to keep this.."

He blinks as she hands him the faded Spiderman sippy cup. Looking at it for a moment, he tried to process what this meant.

"But... this is yours?"

She nods. "I know. I want you to have it."

"...Why?"

Ness rolls her eyes with a sigh. Were all men this stupid?

"Because. He likes it. Just keep it okay? Besides, I'm going to buy some bluey one's soon so.. you know.."

He didn't connect it just yet but was starting to get there. "But.. This is his first cup.."

She nods again. "I know."

Just before Logan could understand, Wade whined something about his "Mommy cuppie" being his favorite.

"Yeah? I know honey. But now it's Kitty's cup. Okay? I uhm... I have work tomarrow. So.."

"Yeah..." He said this as if just now realizing that the transfer of his cup was more than just a cup. He didn't quite understand what exactly but knew that there was something definitely more than her deciding to gift him the old cup.

"Anyway.... Time to get this one to bed. See ya around, Vanessa?"

He asks, giving her a stern look as if threatening to break her skull in half if she was trying to leave him. The both of them. He wasn't ready to take sole responsibility for him, nor knew how to explain to him that Vanessa... left.

In the not so physical kind of way.

She let out a scoff of a chuckle. "Yeah. Just give me a call whenever. Okay? Bye bye baby." She says to Wade, kissing his limp hand.

As if hearing "Bye bye" woke him up, Wade sat up, gruggily and tired. "Noo... no no no noo nooo." He whined, his arms lazily reaching out for her to take him instead. She couldn't leave if he slept on top of her, right? That was his logic, anyway.

Snorting, Logan smiled, closing the door, rubbing his back, and kissing his head. "Oh yeess, yes yes yes yes yeess." He coes, having adored when Wade was like this. Sleepily babbling for Mommy and that he 'wasn't tired' despite both of his eyes struggling to stay open and his chin was leaning on his shoulder, starting to drool.

"Shhh. It's bedtime."

"Nnnoo... mommy.." He groaned, softly kicking his legs as if trying to squirm out of his grip.

"Mommy's going to bed, and you are too. You've had a rough day. Sleep all ya want, Kid."

"MmmMMmfh!!"

"Oh yeah?"

This was Wade's 'If my feet were touching the ground right now, I'd SO stomp my feet' grunt.

"Cranky little thing, ain't you?"

Taking him into the bedroom, he collected his stuffies, laying him down, and began to tuck them in with him the way he liked.

" 'm not liddle.." He mumbled.

"Oh, my mistake. What are you then? A big tough guy?" By now, He was just teasing him. It wasn't often he was so tired that he could treat him this way. It's taken him a bit to get used to the baby talk, but he had to admit it was kind of fun. To be able to tease him.

Wade was so tired that he shrugged.

And yeah, that sounded so messed up, teasing a guy who was just a kid right now, but to Logan, it felt.. natural. Because Wade wasn't a kid in the sense that he's said way worse things with that potty mouth of his, but because Wade kind of enjoyed a bit of fuss. A bit of play fighting. "For Funsies"

"Good night, Wade. Don't let the bedbugs bite." He tells him.

"Kitty.."

"Yeah, Bub?"

He pointed to his star night light.

"Oh, right." He bends down to click it on. "Better?"

No response but a snore. Logan can't help but smile and sigh heavily, beginning to quietly clean up the room of the cryaons and other toys out. He didn't need Althea tripping or dying because of a coloring book.

Finding that crumbled up paper from earlier, He glances back at him, watching as his chest and shoulders rose and fell with each deep breath through an open drooling mouth. God, he was so cute. How could anyone want to hurt him? He quite literally played himself to sleep.

Picking it up, he gently unfolds the crinkles, trying to make out what it said in the dark. Shaking his head, he put it in his pocket, putting everything away before leaving. After silently closing the door, he took out the paper again, curiosity killing the cat.

It said "I Kitty" with a heart made out of blood in the middle of the two words. He knew it was blood because the blood was coming down from a picture of a dead guy. On the drawing, too, was him in his suit, claws drawn and full cowl.

He chuckles, blushing some. Wade had made him extra buff in the picture. So buff that his biceps had biceps and in the other corner was wade in his own costume with big heart eyes.

Was this how he truly saw him? As such a powerful person to rely on? Someone to look at with massive pink heart-shaped eyes?

Coming into the kitchen, he pinned it to the fridge with a hello kitty magnet. "There.." now it was where it belonged. Stuck to the fridge for everyone to see instead of half ripped up on the dirty floor.

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

Jason with his time in the league of assassins

Talia walks into the small modest room where Jason is livening in while he gets back on his feet, having a bunch of brain functions recovered takes a while to get used to. he's been doing physical therapy and occupational therapy for the last couple months, his dexterity isn't exactly back yet.

Talia: Jason? what are you doing?

Jason: well there's this thing I always wanted to try called stop motion animation, and well you got some lego's for Dami but he's a bit too small for them so.. I took them and have been animating. I was bored in-between everything, you don't have any good books I haven't already read.

Talia: well that is an acceptable pass time, what are you making?

Jason: oh it's a weird comedy spoof for kids about batman and the joker being nemesis's, I wanted to make it for Dami since well he doesn't know much about him or the other ones and he's only 3 and well it doesn't seem like much but the time I'm done he'll be 5 and be able to enjoy it. i don't know talia I'm bored and want to make something for him.

Talia: very well, if you so wish. I can get some people in to help you make it if you wish.

Jason: really?

Talia: yes, I can. it does sound like a nice gift.

Jason: oh thank you!

Many months of therapy complete, he starts to retrain and regain all the fighting skills he lost and learn some new ones. in the meanwhile, Jason and 3 other people have been making a complete feature film for Damian who's just turned 4, they were about halfway done and it was looking good.

Talia: so how's it coming along?

Jason: it's been hard and hurts like a bitch, but I'm getting better at flips!

Talia: no. not that, I mean the movie?

Jason: oh it's halfway done! me and the one man and 2 women are doing great we reshot the opening, and we are more than 68% done! so it will be ready by Dami's birthday.

Talia: he will enjoy it I believe.

Jason: of course he would, it's his first ever kids movie!

Talia: why yes it is!

many many many more months pass and it becomes Dami's 5th birthday and Jason and his crew had wrapped up, the voice acting was done mostly by himself, and the crew but he asked some of the league for other voices. eventually after scoring and mixing they met the deadline. they set up the league theatre and put the movie on.

lego batman: [voice over] Black. All important movies start with a black screen... And music... Edgy, scary music that would make a parent or studio executive nervous... And logos... Really long and dramatic logos... Warner Bros. Why not "Warner Brothers"? I don't know... Hmm... Not sure what LOA does, but that logo is macho. I dig it... Okay. Get yourself ready for some... reading. "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change. Hooo." No. I said that. Batman is very wise. I also have huge pecs and a nine-pack. Yeah, I've got an extra ab. Now, let's start the movie.

Dami: momma? what's the movie about?

talia: your father

lego Alfred Pennyworth: Were you looking at the old family pictures again?

lego Batman: At the what? The old family... Oh, yes! I see what you mean. Look at that! The old gang. Yeah. No, I wasn't.

lego Alfred Pennyworth: I see. Sir, if you don't mind my saying, I'm a little concerned. I've seen you go through similar phases in 2001 and 2006 and 2008 and 2005 and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989 and that weird one in 1999. Do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now?

lego Batman: I don't talks about feelings, Alfred. I don't have any, I've never seen one. I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante, and a heavy metal rapping machine. I don't feel anything emotionally, except for rage. 24/7, 365, at a million percent. And if you think that there's something behind that, then you're crazy. Good night, Alfred.

lego Alfred Pennyworth: Sir, it's morning..

Talia: *laughs*

Dami: *chuckles*

Jason: *smiles with accomplishment*

lego Batman: [Batman's song] Who never skips leg day?

Chorus: Batman!

lego Batman: Who always pays their taxes?

lego Batman, Chorus: Not Batman!

Talia: *wails with laughter*

Dami: what are taxes?

Jason: you'll know when you get older don't worry about it

The lego Joker: Are you seriously saying there is nothing, nothing special about our relationship?

lego Batman: Whoa. Let me tell you something, J-bird. Batman doesn't do 'ships.

The lego Joker: [Confused] What?

lego Batman: As in "relationships." There is no "us." Batman and Joker are not a thing. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. You mean nothing to me. No one does.

Talia: that is your father's arch-nemesis the joker

Dami: oh okay

Jason: please kill him for me

dami: okay Jason, i will avagange, e-venge, avenge your honour!

Jason: you have no idea what that means to me buddy *wipes away a tear*

Lego Robin: My name's Richard Grayson, but all the kids at the orphanage call me Dick.

Lego Batman: Well, children can be cruel.

Jason: when I first heard dick's name I unironically thought everyone was just calling him a dickhead so much that the name dick stuck, but nope turns out it's short for Richard. he even changed his name to dick, I personally would never. but he pulls it off flawlessly. *chuckles*

talia: I did not know mr Grayson preferred to be called Dick.

Dami: who's dick then?

Jason: oh he's your older brother.

Lego Robin: What? [Sees Batcave]

Lego Robin: It's the Batcave! Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygooo-! [Bumps into Batman]

Lego Robin: Batman, woah!

Lego Batman: You're darn right, woah!

Lego Robin: Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement?

Lego Batman: No, Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic.

Talia: *DIES OF LAUGHTER* oh Jason this is amazing.

Jason: I wish to impress!

Lego Robin: Hey, I was thinking. If I'm gonna be a superhero, and go on awesome superhero missions like this one, can we use code names? Mine can be Robin.

Lego Batman: I'm sorry, say that again?

Lego Robin: Robin.

Lego Batman: As in the small, Midwestern frail bird?

Lego Robin: Yeah, and I already have a catch phrase. Tweet, tweet, on the street.

Lego Batman: Hard pass.

Lego Robin: And a song. [singing]

Lego Robin: Fly, Robin, fly.

Lego Batman: Harder pass.

dami: *laughs so hard he coughs*

talia: habbibi careful, don't laugh so hard you will hurt yourself

Jason: honestly yeah you can hurt yourself badly.

LegoRobin: Wow! Look, it's the Bat-Sub!

Lego Batman: Wait, don't touch that!

Lego Robin: Over there! It's the Bat-Space Shuttle!

Lego Batman: Please keep your hands off that.

Lego Robin: Look, it's the Bat-Zeppelin!

Lego Batman: Don't touch that, either!

Lego Robin: It's the Bat-Train!

Lego Batman: No!

Lego Robin: It's the Bat-Kayak!

Lego Batman: No!

Lego Robin: It's the Bat-Dune Buggy!

Lego Batman: No!

Lego Robin: It's the Bat... Shark Repellent?

Lego Batman: [pause] Uh, actually, you can touch that. It's completely useless.

Talia: shark repelent is actually a quite useful invention why is bruce beloved not recognising it's full potential?

Jason: keep watching

Dami: does father have all those things?

Jason: sure does!

Lego Batman: We are gonna steal the Phantom Zone projector from Superman.

Lego Robin: [frowns] Steal?

Lego Batman: Yeah. We have to right a wrong. And sometimes, in order to right a wrong, you have to do a wrong-right. Gandhi said that.

Lego Robin: Are we sure Gandhi said that?

Lego Batman: I'm paraphrasing.

Talia: *laughs*

Dami: *laughs so hard he starts coughing AGAIN*

Jason: ghandi so said that btw.

lego Jim Gordon: [sees Robin for the first time] Who is that?

lego Robin: Hi, police man!

lego Jim Gordon: Is that your son?

Lego Robin: Yes, I am!

Lego Batman: [laughs nervously] Is that my son? No, that's just weird.

Lego Jim Gordon: It's weirder if it's not your son.

Jason: this interaction is based off an actual interaction between jimmy and Dick.

[batman and robin arrive at the fortress of solitude]

lego Batman: Hey, kid!

lego Robin: Yes, sir?

lego Batman: You're super nimble, right?

lego Robin: I sure am!

lego Batman: And small?

lego Robin: Very.

lego Batman: And quiet?

lego Robin: [whispering] When I desire to be.

lego Batman: And 110% expendable?

lego Robin: I don't know what that means, but okay!

Jason: bruce really did not know how to deal with a 11 year old child hellbent on murdering a mob boss, so he kept bringing him along on incredibly dangerous missions, it was always fine in the end but this sort of situation happened once.

Talia: really?

Jason: the expendable part was from a wayne tech family event, and they crushed it. but dick had to sacrifice himself to help bruce win, it was so funny. I was there.

Lego Batman: White. All important movies end with a white screen.

Talia, jason, the other 70 league of assassin members and Damien break out into applause for the movie.

Jason: THANK YOU ALL, but special thanks to Gerald, and lily and Rin!!!! I WOULD HAVE NEVNER FINISHED IT WITHOUT YOU THANK YOUUUUUUU

the audience bursts into a large uproar of applause.

Prev | current | Next

[kurishiri]

william v.s. darius . . . william rex epilogue 🌹

— this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— cw: very suggestive scenes that are awkwardly translated. also i translated this at 1am; you've been warned lmao

Kate: So we’re going shopping!

William: That we are. It’s become less crowded now, which would make it the ideal time for window shopping, right?

W: Let’s choose something together. One that would suit you.

Unlike the lively buzz of the street fair, where many people had gathered,

here, we didn’t have to worry about our surroundings, so we could walk at our own pace.

(Will knew that, so he invited me here.)

(…And the fact I could spend time together with him like that was a delightful reward as well.)

William: That outfit looks charming. It seems like it would fit your air.

Kate: Wah, this looks wonderful! It goes well with the skirt next to it too.

I was happy at how we walked side by side as well, in a good mood, and——

Kate: …Could we hold hands?

William: What a coincidence. I was just thinking the same.

When his beautiful fingers touched mine, our fingers intertwined together.

Kate: Hehe, thank you.

I squeezed his hand back, when…

Kate: Ah.

As if being led away, my eyes stopped on something,

with that something being a crimson red ribbon that went with a dress that left quite an impression.

When William followed my gaze, he narrowed those red eyes.

William: Indeed, I can easily imagine you in that.

W: Then, this dress is for you.

—— Time skip; William’s room ——

Kate: …How does it look?

I tried on the dress that I had gotten as a present as soon as we returned.

In response, Will, who was sitting on the sofa, narrowed his eyes, making their way from the top of my head to my toes.

William: Would you mind spinning around for me?

Kate: Like this?

When I did as I was told, the crimson ribbon fluttered.

William: It does suit you.

Kate: Thank you. Then I’ll be wearing this on our next date.

I looked down at myself, biting down on the feeling that sprung from within me,

when I realized the way he was looking at me.

His gaze on me seemed to hold a bewitching smile,

and I felt a familiar twinge that had been locked within me resurface.

Kate: …Will.

I found myself drawn to him, until I stood right across.

Kate: I want you to kiss me.

William: ——Then come here, my robin.

With that invitation, I sat atop his legs, and when our faces drew together, close enough where I could feel his breath…

His hands caressed my cheeks.

Those eyes, the color of blood, held a hint of amusement.

Kate: …Don’t keep me in suspense like that.

William: Hehe, my apologies.

W: I simply wanted to see more of you being honest with your desires.

Becoming more excited with how his fingers teased my lips, I took his finger into my mouth. [1]

William: ……… [surprised]

W: Pfft, haha. It makes me happy that you’d like to have a taste of my fingers as well.

W: But then you won’t be able to kiss me like that, right?

Kate: Ah…

Withdrawing his thumb, half-open lips met with one impatient for a kiss.

Kate: Mn…

His tongue slipped in, giving me a numbing sensation as they playfully intertwined together——

And when he let go, he gave a small smile.

William: …You are free to decide what it is your heart seeks and what you would like to do.

Kate: …I know.

William: And perhaps your heart may change. Our feelings can’t be restricted, nor should they ever be.

W: Of course, not by others, and not even by ourselves.

Kate: …So that is to say,

K: I am free to do as my heart wants. And even in this very moment [2], I love you, Will.

William: Yes, I figured as much.

Kate: Huh?

William: Your heart is close to mine, and we are not separated in the slightest.

W: That is how my heart feels——at any moment in time.

Kate: Will…

My lover before my eyes seemed to always, no matter in which moment in time, take pleasure in unraveling what was in my heart.

Feeling this, I…

Kate: If we stack even these smallest moments… they can become an eternity.

William: …Indeed.

Our lips met once more, being fondled affectionately in my mouth.

William: And I would like to have a taste of you, to my heart’s content.

W: If it is as you say, and these small moments can become an eternity… I would like to embody it.

Kate: …Will…

When I kissed him, he sought me deeper.

William: Should we take it to the bed? Or…

Kate: …Haa… I want more… like this…

William: …I imagine it would be quite frustrating to move, after all.

With the ribbon of the dress undone, my chest relaxed [3].

As if the wrapping of the present was removed, my skin was now exposed,

and my nipples gave way to my desire.

William: …Kate.

With his lips calling my name, his tone filled with emotion, pleasure rushed through me.

William: Could I engrave my feelings in you?

He sucked on my breasts, leaving a mark as red as his eyes.

The throbbing in my core excited me and trickled within me,

and I welcomed his palm as it slid in——

While indulging in the sweet excitement he gave me, I tasted the pleasure of this small moment in time.

Fin.

will vs darius jude vs nica alfons vs ring

← prev fin

NOTES:

[1] I wasn’t sure how to phrase this; part of it may be like midnight or 1am translating, but I also wasn’t completely sure how to translate this part of the line [その指先をはむりと含んだ] (sono yubisaki wo hamuri to fukunda) as well. So I’m mostly kind of guessing based on the context of the lines that come after.

[2] Kate uses the word [刹那] (setsuna) here, which means a moment or instant, though this particular word, unlike another similar meaning word, [瞬間] (shunkan), [刹那] is derived from the Sanskrit word kshana, which in Buddhism refers to the “shortest possible interval of time.”

[3] They say here [胸元が緩む] (munamoto ga yurumu), where [胸元] refers to like the chest or breast area (but can also mean the solar plexus), while [緩む] means like to loosen, slacken, relax, that kind of thing, both for tangible things like parts of the body and intangible things like rules. I’m not really sure exactly how to translate this, but it’s probably referring to how a woman’s breasts are bare, without the support of anything like a bra.

END NOTES: the difference between will and darius' end was interesting, like how they both treated the boy. they're probably trying to hit home the differences between them... which darius seemed to pick up on. i wouldn't say i'm very good at translating william, per se, but i did enjoy his story as well, and just the way he spent time with kate and darius! i feel they highlighted a lot of characteristics of his here that i feel many would like, appreciate, or be drawn to.

full masterlist 🌹🪽

[matrixbearer2024]

Inspired by drabbles I've read from @multi-fandom-imagine, here's an AU I've made with what if Ford had a family. Ford has triplets and yes they are honeymoon babies, I've yet to flesh out the rest of the timeline but a lot of the dates are from @fordtato's theory and posts.

Chances are I'll make xReader drabbles in tandem with this because Ford is a funni man and I am very hooked on him rn, so please give me ideas/situations in my inbox yall THANKS!

I can and will expound on these losers(/pos) if you guys want more, hell I want to get back into RPing too so that'll be fun. But yeah! In the meantime, have Aeschylus, Alexander and Athena!

A little imagine that I've got with Ford and his s/o in this universe is that his s/o is at BMU just like him because of financial struggles but is a similar strain of genius. I can see them having biology classes together since I'd kinda like his s/o to have taken mycology(study of mushrooms and fungi).

Imagine just walking to class with him every now and then, or being lab partners that get everything done before the rest of the class even gets half-way through.

Imagine playfully giving him kisses when he scores higher than you and then taunting him to do the same when you do, it's your "prize" as much as it is his.

Imagine dragging his ass to actually sleep for once and if he's too stubborn you sit in his lap until he yields.

Imagine as a graduation gift as you're walking back towards the dorms, he gets on one knee and actually proposes. He was supposed to do it on stage but chickened out.

Okay yeah that's a couple blurbs from me I should make a whole ass fic for those- aiiiight- XD

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Killing Time 2

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, includes violence, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: a job offer could be an escape from your old life, but the new one, may not hold freedom.

Characters: Kraven the Hunter, August Walker, Lloyd Hansen, James Conrad, God the Bounty Hunter, Court Gentry

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

The interior of the car is sleek and shiny. You don’t want to touch anything as you strap the seat belt across your torso. You feel bad enough that he insists upon getting your bags in the car. When he’s at last in the driver’s seat, you relax. 

You glance out the window at the patch of grass where Jake was moments ago. He slinked away as you hid behind the tinted glass in triumph. One little victory after a year of terror. 

“So, shall we?” James asks as he turns the engine. “We’ve some ways to go,” he adjusts the mirror and glances over at you. “I know it isn’t good etiquette but I must say you look beat. It won’t bother me should you doze as I drive.” 

“Oh, uh,” you rub your cheek bashfully, “thanks, I... spent all night packing so--” 

It’s not a complete lie and you’re sure he can fathom the truth after the morning’s confrontation. Admitting it will only make it worse. You just want to leave it all behind. 

“Of course. I apologise for the short notice but thank you very much for being so accommodating,” he says. 

He shifts into gear and checks his blind spot before he slowly steers away from the curb. 

“Me? Thank you for the drive. I’m sure I’ve could have found a bus--” 

“You would assume but as I said, the location is remote and you’d still need to get from the station to the house. I don’t mind at all. I’ve not been to the manor in some time and I’m overdue to check in on it.” He explains, “I’m happy to do so with company, if I’m to be honest.” 

“Ah, okay,” you accept. You cup your hand over your mouth as a yawn rises without warning. “Mm, sorry.” 

“As I said, please, rest your eyes. We have a long road,” he says. “Oh, you won’t mind some music? Any preference?” 

“I’m not picky,” you assure him and lean back against the seat. Despite not wanting to check out, your body is screaming for sleep. Your muscles ease against the firm cushion and you can’t help a groan. “Whatever you like.” 

You turn to look out the window, watching the streets and the few pedestrians on the pavement. Your lashes flick, weighed down by the sleepless night and the peak of adrenaline. Your head lolls and you let your eyelids close. Just for a minute and you’ll open them again... 

When you stir, the car is still but idling. The engine hums and the AC flows. You look over at the empty driver seat and jolt upright. Huh? 

Your panic is curtailed as the door opens and James appears with a tray of cups and a paper bag. He smiles as he lowers himself into the car and balances it all in his lap. 

“I didn’t know if I should wake you but I grabbed some coffee. Sugar and cream if you need,” he wiggles free a cup and puts it in the holder. “And they had some lovely looking bagels--” 

“Oh,” you wipe your chapped lips with the back of your hand. “You didn’t have to—I'm sorry I fell asleep...” 

“I did expect it,” he chuckles as he hands you the paper bag. “It is your choice. I got one sesame seed and a pumpernickel. I hope that’s acceptable.” 

“Mm, pumpernickel?” You clasp the top of the bag, “thanks, that’s... that’s so nice.” 

“Not at all,” he takes his own cup as he puts the tray behind his seat. He inhales the scent through the slot of the lid. “Ah, not terrible. They had English.” He lifts the cup slightly. “How typical, yes? That I would rather tea.” 

“I don’t mind tea,” you shrug and open the bag. 

“We will eat then be back on the road. Further on, we will have something more substantial.” He explains. 

You check the first bagel; sesame, and hand it to him. You sit and unwrap your own. Before you can have a bite, you gape at the digital clock in the dashboard. 

“Holy... two hours?” You utter. 

“Oh, yes, the time breezed by,” he remarks. 

You hide a frown and bite into the toasted bagel. You feel a bit better but a glaze of dizziness lingers. You need the sleep but you’re embarrassed all the same. You shouldn’t be snoring in the passenger seat on your way to a job. After all, he’s technically your boss. 

“Really, don’t worry,” he says as if he can read your mind. 

“I’ll try not to,” you swallow. 

You finish your food with minimal conversation. You’re still a little groggy but not as tired. You manage to stay awake as he sets off again. 

You glance over at him. He’s a stranger but something about his presence is calming. So much so that you lost all wariness. After what you’ve been through with Jake, you should’ve taken a bit more time to think this through. It strikes you then that this man is taking you to some remote location, based on a single conversation... 

You shake off your suspicion. It’s Jake. That’s all. He taught you distrust. Someone you thought was your friend, turned out to be a monster. Well, they say you’re more likely to be assaulted by someone you know. Maybe it’s good that you barely know James. 

“How long were you in the city?” He asks, piercing through your inner turmoil. 

“Oh, uh, about five years,” you answer. “I... you live there or....” 

“Closeby,” he answers. “I think you can guess I’ve relocated but I do tend to hop around often. I get restless.” 

“Ah, so that’s why you need a caretaker.” 

“Essentially, yes,” he agrees. “I’ve not the ability to remain as long as I need. It was a colleague who suggested it. One of his rare good ideas.” 

“Right,” you nod. 

“Well, I trust you will keep good care of it,” he says over the steering wheel.  

The journey unravels before you. It’s further than you thought, but you didn’t really pay much attention to your destination. You’re more concerned with getting away. All the business of thinking this out can wait until you can breathe. 

As promised, you stop again to eat and relieve yourself. James girds only a few hours left. It’s taken most of the day to get this far and the road ahead is less a highway and more a rural path. You take your time eating, as much not to make yourself sick as to take a break from sitting in the car. 

Back on the road, you feel the exhaustion fall on you again. You struggle to keep your eyes open as the evening deepens. James drives towards a thicket of trees, the moonlight flickering between them. You descend into the darkness as the car thrums through the noise of crickets and swaying leaves. 

The fir thins and opens up to reveal a large stone wall and a wrought iron gate that gleams in the moonlight. The peaks of the large manor are painted silver in the night’s hue. You sit up to see it clearer. It looked big in the pictures but you’re blown away by the reality. 

“A moment,” he stops and puts the car in park.  

He gets out as you watch him through the gloom. He unlocks the gate and pulls it outward, just one side, enough to get through. He comes back and shifts gears, steering through and up the long paved drive. He kills the engine and sighs. 

“I’ll just go lock up before we do the grand tour, if you don’t mind,” he says. 

You give a noncommittal grumble as you undo your seat belt. You just want to stretch your legs. You get out parallel to him and he hurries off back toward the gate. The hinges creak loudly in the night, and eerie high-pitched noise. 

As he returns, the moon hides behind a cloud and drapes his figure in black. “We’ll fetch the bags after. It’s dark out here.” 

You’re too tired and uneasy to speak. Now that you’re here, the second thoughts begin. This man is still, at the core, a stranger. And more, you don’t exactly know where he’s taken you. You push back the doubt as another symptom of your year of torment. That was another man, not him. 

He leads you towards the front door. You climb the curved stone steps as bats flutter off in the sky. You shiver as he unlocks the door and disappears within. A light beams through on and you shy away. He beckons you inward from behind it. 

“Come,” he holds a flashlight. “We’ll need to turn the generator on.” 

“Oh, uh, of course,” you agree and step inside. 

He shuts the door as you enter and he turns to aim the light around the grand foyer. He slowly moves forward, sure to keep pace with you. You admire what you can in the shadows. The staircase that curls out at the bottom, and the carved posts that sharpen to points at the end of the banisters.  

You follow him, huddling close without thinking. It feels as if you might get lost if you stray too far. He takes you along the hallways behind the stairs and to a narrow door at the end. He opens it and shines the light down. 

“You first, I’ll keep the torch above you,” he says. 

You look down the dark staircase then at him. He angles the light and brightens the way down. You turn and take the first step, and the next. Each groans beneath your weight as you put your hand on the railing. You get to the bottom and his own steps illicit creaks. 

He nudges you as points the flashlight across the damp basement. It’s cold down there. You fold your arms as your teeth chatter. You go to the generator and he looks it over. 

“You have the most important task,” he says and flips the light in his hand, “holding the torch.” 

He offers it and you take it uncertainly. You shine it over the boxy generator and he examines it once more. 

“We only need to turn the valve here,” he points, “then the choke,” he moves a rod from left to right, “turn the ignition,” he twists, “and pull the cord.” He grunts as he tugs, “just until you feel resistance and it should--” it rumbles and clanks, then mellows out to a steady hum. “There. Now, let it run for a moment and set the choke to run...” he steps back and dusts his hands off on his pants, “there’s a manual on the shelf over there in case you need to restart it, ever. Thunderstorms are not so kind here.” 

“Oh, okay, uh, yeah. I’ll find that.” 

“Mm, yes, well, how about tomorrow? If you don’t mind, I think I’ll be in better spirits for a tour then. Then you might see it in the light of day, eh?” He suggests. “For now, we’ll find you a place to sleep and get your bags in.” 

“That sounds good,” you agree. “I am beat.” 

“Me too,” he agrees. “There’s an old kettle around, I’ve some tea in my bag. If you’re interested.” 

“Maybe in the morning,” you turn back to the stairs, steadying the sphere of light across them. “I just want to lay down.” 

“Can’t blame you,” he trails behind you. “Given the way the day started, I’m certain you’re merely happy to be away from it all.” 

“Oh...” you utter, a tinge of embarrassment nips in your cheeks. “Yeah, well, that was--- it’s over now, right?” 

“Yes, a fresh start,” he agrees as you start up the stairs and he follows closely. “I do hope you find peace here.” 

[clangenrising]

Month 19 - September Gathering

Leaffall was off to a staggering start. Oddstripe had been enjoying the chilly air and the changing leaves only for the heat to come back in full force without warning. He’d been urging everyone to remember to get out of the sun and drink water in addition to eating fresh-kill for the last few days. Unfortunately, Sagetooth had come down with heat stroke while looking for fennel and even Lakepaw had exhausted herself with battle training out in the sun. 

Oddstripe applied moss to both of their foreheads as they rested in the healers’ den, saying, “Just relax and take care of yourselves. This should pass. If you need any water just call for someone and they’ll bring you some okay?” 

“You’re sure I can’t go to the gathering?” Lakepaw pouted.

“I’m sorry, dear,” he shook his head, “it’s bad timing but you have to stay and rest. There will be another gathering next moon.” 

Sagetooth, laying on her side with her eyes shut tight, asked, “Will you be alright on your own, Oddstripe?” 

“Oh, yes,” he smiled and ran a few licks over her fur. “I’m sure I can manage. It’s not like I’m doing anything anyway, I’m just going to go sit below the Cornerstones and be quiet.”

“Hmf,” Sagetooth muttered something to herself but didn’t seem to have the energy to give any further commands. Oddstripe sighed in relief. 

“Hey, dad,” Sparrowsway ducked his head into the den, “you ready to go?” 

“Yep,” smiled Oddstripe. “I was just finishing up. You two get your rest, I’ll be back later tonight.” 

“Okay…” Lakepaw stared wistfully out at the night but kept her head on her paws. Oddstripe touched his nose to Lakepaw’s ear and padded out after his son. The Gathering party was congregating on the hill as the last stragglers made their way to the group. 

Russetfrond was untangling himself from his two eager kittens. Bluekit and Yellowkit clung to his legs begging in chorus to be allowed to go with him. Oddstripe winced as he watched the patience draining from Russetfrond’s face bit by bit. 

“I already said no,” he growled firmly, wiggling his paws out of their grasp. 

Bluekit whined and plopped down on his belly looking dejected but Yellowkit leapt for his father’s paw again, giggling, and cried, “Come onnnnn! I’ll be good, I promise!” 

“Enough!” Russetfrond snapped, nipping sharply at the kit who squealed and dropped into a crouch with his ears pressed back. Russetfrond picked him up by the scruff -- which was quite the feat given how much he had grown in his four moons -- and set him beside Bluekit, saying, “You can’t even be good right now! You’d both better learn to behave before you become apprentices or you’ll be stuck on tick duty for every Gathering.” 

“Sorry, father,” Bluekit said, sitting up straight and tucking his paws close to his body. 

“Sorry,” mumbled Yellowkit, looking at the ground. 

“Speak up,” Russetfrond ordered and Yellowkit straightened up. 

“Sorry, father,” he echoed. 

“That’s better,” huffed Russetfrond. “Now behave while I’m gone and maybe I’ll catch you a special treat, alright?” Both boys nodded and Russetfrond leaned in to plant a tender lick on both of their heads. “Thank you, boys. I love you.” 

“Love you,” the kits chorused. 

“I do not envy those kits,” Aldertail whispered to Oddstripe, having come up beside him at some point. 

Oddstripe tried to push the grimace from his face and said, “No, me neither. Poor things.” 

“He means well,” Sparrowsway said with a small grimace of his own. 

“I know,” Oddstripe purred, butting up against Sparrowsway’s shoulder. Then, glancing at Aldertail, he asked, “are you sure you don’t want to come tonight?” 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I don’t like crowds very much.” 

“Okay,” he smiled and bumped his head lightly against hers. “Enjoy your night, I’ll see you after the Gathering.” 

“‘Kay,” she blushed, shuffling her paws. “Have fun.” 

“Will do,” laughed Oddstripe and he twined his tail with Sparrowsway’s as they went to join the others. 

“Okay,” Goldenstar was saying, craning her neck to look over the crowd, “Russetfrond, Floodstrike, Scorchplume, Fogpaw, Branchbark… Ah! Oddstripe and Sparrowsay, that’s everyone. Let’s go.” 

“Have fun!” Slatepaw called after them. 

“You too!” cried Fogpaw, rearing up on her hind paws to wave goodbye. 

They made their way through the fields and over the river to the Cornerstones in the heavy evening heat. Even without the sun, the air was unseasonably warm and slightly humid, clinging to their fur like it wanted to slow them down. When they arrived, Oddstripe paused to take in the scene, enjoying the lively thrum of conversation. It seemed they were the last to arrive, all three of the other leaders sitting atop the Cornerstones already.

 “Floodstrike!” a pair of young EarthClan warriors called out and Floodstrike split off of the group to join them. Scorchplume and Fogpaw skirted the group to find a good vantage point to sit together. Branchbark waved his tail at a pair of SkyClan warriors and moved to join them.

“Aww, no Ospreymask?” one of them asked.

“Not tonight,” he said, “you’ll have to settle for me.” 

“I don’t think Pebblefall likes you like that,” laughed the other and the first warrior shoved him hard. 

“Whatever, bee brain.” 

Oddstripe chuckled to himself and turned to Sparrowsway who was standing next to him. “Go on and mingle, sweetheart.” 

“I’m alright,” said Sparrowsway, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Why don’t I walk you to the front?”

“If you really want to,” Oddstripe said, brow furrowing with worry, “but don’t you have friends you’d rather talk to than your old man?” 

“Nah,” Sparrowsway shrugged and smiled but Oddstripe wasn’t sure he believed the expression. “I always enjoy talking with you.” 

“That’s not what I mean,” Oddstripe said as he let Sparrowsway escort him through the crowd. “You need friends who aren’t your father. It’s good for you.” 

“I’m alright,” Sparrowsway said again. “Most the cats my age are closer with Floodstrike anyway.” 

“What about Dawnbird?” Oddstripe offered. “She seems like such a polite young lady, I’m sure you’d get along well.” 

Sparrowsway pursed his lips to hide a wince. “Maybe. Seriously though, dad, I’m fine.” 

“Oh, alright,” Oddstripe chewed his lip fretfully and stopped to give Sparrowsway’s cowlick a few firm licks. “I just worry about you.”

“Don’t,” Sparrowsway laughed and ducked away from the licks. “I’m happy, dad, I really am.” 

“Okay…” Oddstripe stepped back towards the Cornerstones. “Just don’t hold yourself back from having fun, okay?”

“Okay, I won’t,” said Sparrowsway.

Deciding he would just have to be satisfied with that answer, Oddstripe turned away and padded over to where Blazingbrush and Stormwhisper were sitting near the front of the crowd. Stormwhisper brightened and twitched an ear in greeting as he approached. 

“Oh, where’s Tangletooth?” Oddstripe asked, looking around. 

“Coyotechaser said he stayed home tonight,” said Blazingbrush. “They didn’t want to risk him overexerting himself in the heat.” 

“I can’t blame them,” said Oddstripe. “Sagetooth is home with heat stroke tonight.” 

Stormwhisper inhaled worriedly through his teeth. “Stars, I hope she’s alright.” 

“She just needs some rest,” Oddstripe reassured him, “don’t worry.” Stormwhisper nodded, looking at his paws.

“Well, we might as well enjoy their absence for the night,” Blazingbrush grinned. “I mean how often do the three of us get to hang out, just us?” 

“Not often,” Stormwhisper admitted. 

Oddstripe laughed. “Why not? Let’s make the most of it.” Looking at Stormwhisper, he asked, “How are the kittens doing, by the way? They’re apprentices now aren’t they?” 

“Yeah,” nodded Stormwhisper, “Two moons in already.” 

“Oh, that’s right!” Oddstripe smiled remembering the Gathering where that had been announced, “Bluffpaw is apprenticed to Orangestar, isn’t he.” 

“That’s right,” Stormwhisper said. His expression softened as he continued, “Finchpaw and Rainpaw have been coming by lately to ask me about StarClan. I’m so glad they take the time. I miss the little beasts, even though I’m not their father or anything.” He looked at his paws again and Oddstripe couldn’t help but smile. Stars, he was terrible at hiding things. It was adorable.

“I know what you mean,” he said. “My kits grew up so fast! One day I was their whole world and then the next they were running off in all different directions -- into fights! Oh, it was terrifying -- is terrifying! But I just have to trust that StarClan is watching over them, you know?”

“Mhm,” Blazingbrush nodded. “I get so worried every time one of the apprentices comes back with even a bruise on them! There’s a reason I chose healing over battle practice.” She chuckled a bit and looked out over the crowd as if she were searching for someone and Oddstripe suddenly wondered if she had more in common with him and Stormwhisper than he had previously imagined. 

“Alright!” Snowstar’s voice pierced the air and silenced the chatter of the crowd. “I think it’s about time we get started, yes?” Oddstripe shifted his posture to look up at her, putting that line of thinking away for now.

“I’ll start the meeting off by saying that greenleaf has been good to SkyClan. Prey is running well, even as we head into leaffall the Clan is well fed. We’ve accepted some new blood into our Clan, two cats from over the mountains who have taken the names Rockylake and Hobbleheart. They’re here with us tonight and we welcome them as new members of SkyClan.” 

She gestured with her nose to a pair of cats sitting with Charredbranch and Greyvoice, a solid brown she-cat and a solid black tom. Oddtripe smiled in their direction, wondering which one was which. The crowd cheered weakly for them before quieting down again.

“Thankfully,” Snowstar said, “SkyClan has no further business. Orangestar?” 

“Thank you,” Orangestar smiled, stepping forward. “I am disappointed to say that the rogues from the city have started hunting in our forest again. Only one hunting party has been caught but at least two more have left clear signs of their trespassing on our land. That, in conjunction with the warning I’m sure we all received from RisingClan earlier this moon,” here she paused to glance at the other leaders, all of whom nodded, “I think the possibility of a continued war is not unlikely.” 

“I agree,” Goldenstar said, taking a small step forward. “It’s only a matter of time before the city cats start another fight. It would be in all of our best interests to have a plan in place for when they do.”

“What I’m hearing,” Flightstar interrupted, “is that you both don’t know how to defend your own territories against a group of kittypets.”

“These kittypets are trained fighters,” Goldenstar scowled. “You were at both of the battles we’ve had with them, you must have recognized that they’re no small threat.” 

“They have numbers,” he said dismissively, “nothing more.”

“You’re joking,” Orangestar blurted in disbelief.

“Underestimating these rogues is not helpful,” Snowstar added. “They took Darkmoon’s life, lest we forget.”

“And Darkmoon alone,” said Flightstar. 

“And Smokyrose,” Goldenstar scowled.

“Who was a mediator,” continued Flightstar stubbornly. “She could not have been difficult to overpower.” Oddstripe’s tail bristled instinctively and somewhere in the crowd he heard Fogpaw growling. The energy of the Gathering was starting to shift in a dangerous direction.

“Be careful not to speak ill of the dead,” warned Snowstar, sensing the change.

“I speak ill of no one,” Flightstar’s lip curled as he spoke. “I am simply stating the fact that these rogues are not the elite fighting force you two try to make them out to be. This all smells to me like a ploy to hunt in our territories now that leaffall is setting in and I’ll have none of it.” Tumblefang yowled her support from the middle of the crowd. 

“Look!” Stormwhisper called out, rising to his feet. “The moon!” 

With a chorus of gasps, the assembled cats threw their gazes skyward to see a cluster of wispy clouds in the early stages of choking out the moon’s light. Oddstripe stood too, eyes wide. In all his time as a healer, this had never happened, even though Sagetooth had told him stories of it before. 

“See?” Oddstripe recognized Scorchplume’s voice. “StarClan disapproves of your stubborn refusal to help the other Clans!” 

“No,” Tumblefang shouted back, “they’re sick of cats like you trying to take advantage of the rest of us!” 

“Cats like me?” Scorchplume laughed. 

“Easy,” Goldenstar said, projecting authoritatively. “We should all work to be less contentious with each other. Let’s calm down and pray we regain their favor.” 

From the east side of the clearing, a new voice cried out at the top of its lungs, “Help!” Oddstripe whipped around, Aldertail’s panicked shouts spiking fear through his chest.

“Aldertail?” Goldenstar gasped. “Aldertail, what’s going on?” 

“I-it’s the camp!” she sobbed, skidding to a halt as every eye turned in her direction. “The Exalted, th-they’re attacking the camp!” 

Russetfrond took off, leaping from his seat beside Bogmist and weaving through the crowd with a speed and purpose Oddstripe had rarely seen him use. Sparrowsway fell into step right behind him, his mentor’s dutiful second paw. 

“Fogpaw!” Scorchplume hissed as her apprentice took off after them.

“Come on,” Floodstrike looked at his friends before darting into the trees as well. Fishtrick took off after him, her ginger tail streaming out behind her, and Boldmoth stared up at Orangestar in bewilderment. Orangestar exchanged a look with Goldenstar then nodded. 

“EarthClan, let’s show those rogues what happens when they mess with warriors!” Orangestar shouted and then she and Goldenstar leapt down from the Cornerstones to follow. 

“SkyClan, likewise!” Snowstar boomed. “To war!” 

Everything was happening so fast. As more cats streamed out of the clearing, Oddstripe fought his way over to Aldertail. She was shaking, eyes shut tight, pressed down into a tiny ball on the ground. 

“Aldertail!” he cried, curling around her. “Are you alright?”

Branchbark joined them, eyes wide. “Aldertail, are you hurt?” 

“No, no,” Aldertail sobbed, shaking her head. “I ran as soon as I saw them! I’m so sorry, I’m such a coward!” 

“Oh, no!” Oddstripe pressed his head close to hers. “You came and got help! That was the right thing to do.” 

“I have to go,” Branchbark said, looking torn.

Oddstripe nodded to him. “I know. We’ll be fine, go help the others.” Branchbark nodded and bounced on his feet before taking off in a sprint. Aldertail pressed closer to Oddstripe’s side and whimpered.

Behind them, FallenClan had congregated at the base of the Cornerstones, talking in hushed voices, and Oddstripe heard Blazingbrush say, “StarClan���s sign is clear. The other Clans need our help.” 

“They have their help,” Flightstar growled. “We don’t need to get involved.” 

“What if our warriors make the difference between victory and defeat?” asked Ryestripe. 

“If they were better at defending their borders, they wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place,” spat Tumblefang. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Ryestripe growled back. 

“Enough!” Flightstar snapped. “We’re going home. Anyone who wants to go to RisingClan’s camp can stay there permanently, understood?” There was a long pause then he stormed off into the woods in the opposite direction as the rest of the cats had gone. One by one, the FallenClan warriors followed him. 

Blazingbrush stared after her Clanmates, mouth open. “But-” She looked at the deputy, the last cat to go, and said, “Pigeoncover- You have to convince him! Surely, we can’t just do nothing!” 

Pigeoncover stood still for a beat, not looking at her. Then they softly said, “You’re already on thin ice, Blazingbrush. It would be best if you came along.” Blazingbrush looked like she had been struck. Still unable to meet her gaze, Pigeoncover slank into the woods after their father, leaving Blazingbrush, Oddstripe, and Aldertail alone in the clearing together. 

Oddstripe wanted to go to the other healer but he didn’t want to tear himself away from Aldertail’s shaking body. He opened his mouth but Blazingbrush looked at him and the words escaped his mind. They looked at each other for a long, hollow moment. 

“I’m so sorry,” Blazingbrush said. 

“It’s okay,” Oddstripe replied. “I understand.” 

Blazingbrush swallowed and bowed her head in defeat as she trailed after her Clanmates. Oddstripe took a deep breath and let it out slowly. As he did, he sent a silent prayer to StarClan.Let this be enough, he prayed. Let everyone survive. Guide their claws and deliver them from their enemies. Please, let it be enough.

[hucowboyification]

Poolverine and 10 please?

10- "We're really going to fuck here? What if someone sees us?"

It'd been an easy job. Get in, stab, claw, and shoot all the fuckers in the warehouse to death, get out. No one was left alive; not even the cleaning crew.

Making a quick getaway wasnt strictly necessary; given how blood-soaked they both were, it probably would've made them more suspicious. But the surrounding area had been terrorized by that group for so long that everyone turned a blind eye to the two mutants booking it down shaded alleyways, and the adrenaline made for great foreplay, so they ran anyways.

Logan pulled Wade down an alleyway, around a corner, and then into a dead end, where a brick building towered over everything.

Deep scratch marks in sets of threes littered the face of the building; hundreds, if not thousands of sets, some clearly much older than the several months Logan had been living in this universe.

"Climb," Logan instructed, lacking anything in the way of real urgency. It was made even less urgent by Logan tugging Wade's mask off and pressing him briefly to the brick wall for a deep, but surprisingly gentle kiss.

Once he was released, Wade did as he was asked. Fortunately, Logan had the forethought to make sure that people with normal hands could get to the roof, though just barely; it was a tough climb, even for Wade, and he had to question if it was really the only way up onto the roof, or if Logan just wanted to watch his ass as he made his way up tedious hand-and-foot-holds.

"Used to love coming up here," Logan sighed once they'd both reached the roof, leaning shoulder-to-shoulder against a boarded-up maintenance entrance. "Quiet. Good views. Hard to climb for most people. Back... back where I'm from, it got torn down years ago."

Wade, using the little good sense he had, didn't pry or crack a joke. He didn't particularly feel like regenerating any limbs tonight, thank you very much.

"But, anyways," Logan continued, giving Wade a sharp-toothed grin. "Thought it'd be a good place to bring you to catch our breath after a job. Be nice to spend an evening together without worrying about waking anyone up."

"Wait, do you mean-" he leaned in close, exaggeratedly whisper-shouting in Logan's ear- "S-E-X?"

"Yes, you goddamn loser, I mean fucking." Logan snorted, bumping his forehead against Wade's shoulder. "Up here, alone, under the stars."

"Aww, Wolvie, that's so romantic! We're really going to fuck here?" Wade gasped in mock surprise, bringing his hands to his face. "What if someone sees us?"

The twitching of Logan's lips gave away his attempts so suppress a laugh. "Who the fuck would see us, moron? It's the middle of the night, this is an abandoned building, and we'd see if anyone came on a nearby roof." Then he grinned. "Besides, what do you care? I always thought you'd be an exhibitionist."

"Oh, I am an exhibitionist, peanut, but you never know. There are cameras everywhere these days.

With a brief, disparaging "Jesus Christ, Wade", Logan dropped to his knees, nuzzling gently at Wade's already hard cock under his suit.

Then, the claws came out, moving towards the fabric of Wade's pants, and-

"Hey, no, no, no! Soft paws!" Wade shouted, swatting Logan's hands away and getting his fingers quite scratched up in the process. "I'm not sewing this up again! God, the knife hands are hot, but can you use your fingers to unzip me like a normal fucking person for once?"

Reluctantly, Logan did as ordered, sheathing his claws and unzipping his pants without ripping them (and Wade's skin, though that was of less concern) to shreds.

If there were cameras around (and of course there were- whatever the dicks at the TVA said, he's the main character here), they'd be getting quite a show.

Send me an ask with a number and a ship!

[tennessoui]

44. and 54. for the ship asks?

I hope you're having a good time ✨

ah thank you i am having a very good time (but also very busy) (but also very fun) (but also very stressful) (but also very - )

thank you for sending these in <3

[from this ask game]

44. Who would dance in the kitchen making dinner? Would the other join in or watch from the doorway?

i think neither of them are predisposed to dancing in the kitchen making dinner (because i just can't see either of them expressing joy through dance) but the image is cute and if i had to pick, i'd say anakin would be more likely to dance in a very silly fashion as he cooks dinner (most probably because he thinks he's alone in their quarters)

only for obi-wan to spy him and lean up against the doorway to watch and anakin is a bit embarrassed but covers it with a "what, old man, don't want to join in?"/"haven't you ever danced before?" to which obi-wan obviously replies that of course he's danced before but that sort of dancing is certainly not the kind of dancing he's done in the past. does anakin want a demonstration?

and anakin thinks he's about to get pulled into a formal dance like the sort that obi-wan does at fancy balls on fancy missions so of course he says a very eager yes - only for obi-wan to pull him in for more like dirty club dancing from his padawan days

54. Who’s more likely to carry the other to bed?

once a master, always a master:

Obi-Wan lets out a full-bodied sigh the moment the doors to his quarters close behind him. It'd been a long day, stacked on top of another, longer day, which in turn was stacked upon a longer week. A longer month. A long war.

He leans against the wall to slip off his boots, though he finds that he's too tired to line them up at the door where he likes to keep them. Instead, he leaves them as they've fallen.

The Council meeting had ended with the decision to send Obi-Wan and the 212th out to the Mid-Rim to rendezvous with Mace Windu's troops. It was an understandable command, and one Obi-Wan himself had volunteered for. But now, in the privacy of his own quarters, he allows the weight of the new orders to rest heavily on his shoulders as guilty dread pools up in his stomach. He'd told Anakin that they'd be able to share a week of leave together, once the other returned to the Temple tomorrow. Now, it turns out that they'd have only a few hours at most.

On his way from the door to his room, the Force gives him a kind, gentle nudge, just stubborn enough that it makes Obi-Wan turn his head to see--oh.

He hadn't even realized he wasn't alone in his quarters. Perhaps because the boy sleeping on his sofa with one shoe still loosely clinging to his foot feels as if he belongs there.

Obi-Wan's feet move him forward automatically to look over the couch's back at Anakin's sleeping form. His Force signature wraps around Anakin's gently, an instinctual hello. For a moment, he's regretful at it--thinking that perhaps it would be enough to wake Anakin from his sleep.

But Anakin's Force signature only nuzzles back at his in return, leaving the boy asleep, as if it is the most natural thing in the galaxy for them to be twined together.

"Alright," Obi-Wan mutters, letting his fingers trail over Anakin's curls before stepping around the couch to kneel at its edge. "Foolish boy," he chides though Anakin cannot hear him. Though he doesn't even mean the words, not truly. Not in the face of Anakin's presence. He must have pushed his ship to the edges of its capabilities to arrive earlier than planned. He must have wanted as much time with Obi-Wan as he could get. "My foolish boy," Obi-Wan says.

Anakin sleeps on, undisturbed.

Obi-Wan's hands find their way to his hair once more, stroking down a piece of it before lightly touching his cheek, the edges of the scar over his eye. The war has aged him. The war has taken so much from him. Of course he is tired. Hopefully, despite Obi-Wan's own absence, he will be able to get the rest he so desperately needs in the coming week. It would be good for him, for Ahsoka as well.

Against his will, his eyelids droop even as his knees protest the position on the ground. He could fall asleep as he is, he thinks. A worshipper at Anakin's altar.

But his padawan would be upset to find him like this in the morning. As much as he thinks that Anakin needs rest, Anakin returns the opinion tenfold. He will not be pleased at the upcoming mission. He would not be pleased to find Obi-Wan asleep on the ground beside him.

But their week together has been shortened only to a night, and Obi-Wan will be damned if he leaves him alone on the couch.

So, carefully, he stands and slides his arms beneath Anakin's back and legs, lifting him up with some hidden well of strength only exhausted masters who must care for their padawans possess.

"This was easier when you were younger," he mutters to Anakin's sleeping form, adjusting his arms around the other man so that his head doesn't loll uncomfortably to the side. "And about a hundred and fifty pounds lighter."

Anakin snores in response, Force signature radiating such a sense of safe contentment that even Obi-Wan's grumblings die down into nothing. They can, of course, wait for an appreciative, awake audience.