#but yeah this is all the worst parts of fandom right out in the open and nobodys immune đ
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i hate fandom poll tournaments!! like actually
#these are nothing like the chuunin or hunter exams#or well they are but in the bad ways#theyre trying to kill each other for the chance to win a title that will change their entire lives#youre trying to kill each other bc. your blorbo lost mostlikelytoeatburgers contest????#like..... alright i guess but i AM going to judge#and even the people who try to be civil get attacked so fucking much like is this worth it. is this genuinely worth the stress#the only poll i care about anymore is that one nobody poll w the traits and stuff#and my guy literally lost first round fhjdjfjdkg rip fellow detective fae#but yeah this is all the worst parts of fandom right out in the open and nobodys immune đ#like i get it i really do!! it sucks seeing your thing lose to something you view as undeserved#but have you seen the worldwide naruto polls.#people wont vote for the actual Reason the poll is running#they arent that moralistic in these things they arent all reading your propaganda and thinking Hmmm clearly this makes more sense#so i should vote#most of em are seeing 'omg it would be funnie to make anee may boys lose' and going haha yeah#so again i get seein your faves lose and trying to campaign for them can be emotional#but the people who get so..... its just all such a mess#the stakes really do not need to be this high
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MOON HAS THE BIGGEST DOUBLE STANDARDS KNOWN TO TSAMS KIND
Ugh this is for the girlies that wanna rant about the lore⊠(AS THEY ARE IN THE SHOW, NOT OOC.) keep in mind this is NOT hate by ANY means. This is literally the equivalent to a pop-culture obsessed girly screaming over Love Island because her bitch didnât get with the man she wanted /SILLY /POS
feel free to debate otherwise, this is an open space and will be maintained respectfully. :3
TW: All canon events including Depression, Su!c!d3, abu$3, etc. (sometimes i switch perspectives as if Iâm talking to the characters â donât mind thatâŠitâs not directed at the reader I promise. <3 )
I HATE MOON WITH A BURNING PASSION. And that may be Eclipse screaming in the BACK OF MY SKULL but Moon makes me want to SET OFF MY LITTLE BROTHER SO HE ELECTROCUTES ME TO DEATH. LORD!!!!!! And Iâll explain why. Currently, I am missing out on ONE singular episode involving Moon and Eclipse that is probably a key factor in all of this, but after months of searchingâŠI do not have it. Thus, my anger may not be fully pieced together, but THIS IS WHAT I HAVE.
Old Moon, New Moon, BOTH OF THEM. THEY ARE BOTH ACCOUNTABLE FOR HOW TERRIBLE ECLIPSE TURNED OUT. Instead of working himself to be better after Sun and Moonâs separation, he just decided âykw a little lobotmy is okay, Iâm sure.â And LEAVES Eclipse who is soon to form in Sunâs head. AND IT DIDNâT EVEN MAKE A DIFFERENCE! Moon was still a TERRIBLE brother (albiet, he was working on himself and things were not in his control all the timeâŠex: Killcode) and caused a LOT of his issues. And then when Eclipse formed he was so consumed by HATE that he took matters into his own hands.
LETâS DISCUSS ECLIPSEâS TRAUMA FOR A SECOND. (YEAH, HE HAS THATâŠ.SHOCKER. Despite his constant denials, he very clearly has it. Iâve been studying this man since I entered this forsaken fandom. /silly) (MOONâS TRAUMA *IS* ECLIPSEâS TRAUMA.)
Imagine youâre Eclipseâ before the separation. You and Moon are one person. You share the same feelings, the memories, the actions, the PAIN. You kill kids without WANTING TO, youâre shut out and youâre hated and nobody will help you so youâre SUPPRESSED in your own HEAD, forcing yourself just to BLINK. But, you still CARE about your brother, so you try your damn best not to move for HIS SAKE. Youâre giving ALL YOUR ENERGY just to keep this CHILDRENâS BOOK CARDBOARD CUTOUT happy, and what does he give you?? NOTHING BUT AGONY! YOU GUESSED IT! Eventually, your labored sympathy will become hate. You act out, you lose yourself, and now suddenly youâre killing the very kids you just wanted to spend time with. OOPSIE DOOPSIE! OH WELL, THOUGH! A LITTLE BIT OF LOSS HASNâT EVER HURT ANYONE!
Separation day came, your final way out. You get to be SAFE, you get your own BODY, you get the chance to be FIXED, youâll be ALIVE. YOUâLL BE *YOU*.
And then you wake up
and you realize
you didnât leave.
Youâre still stuck in that same body, unnoticeable, unheard, people are noticing your existence, but brush you off like a small error. Youâre not supposed to be there. You knew this, but now other people were saying it too, but not in the way you meant it. You were abandoned by YOUR OWN BODY. This is where thought processes SPLIT. Eclipse is made of very limited parts of code from Sun and Moon, but is mainly depicted as âMoonâs Maliceâ, a string of code that caused him to be killing all those kids. Naturally, you canât just stray away from this personality, right? Youâre born to do it, itâs all you can think about, itâs all you feel, itâs all you are. Just âMoonâs Maliceâ. And so Eclipse rightfully played the part, but he wanted to be his own person. Adapting âEclipseâ, forced into a Sunâs body. Can we talk about how HORRIBLE it would be to wake up in your worst enemies BODY?! BODY DYSMORPHIA INSTANTLY! The whole âIâm quite comfortable in this body đ€Șâ quote from way back when - when Eclipse still had Sun was a LIE. He KEPT IT because he wanted an ADVANTAGE. He wanted REVENGE. He wanted to put Moon through the same amount of pain when HE LOST HIM BY MAKING HIM LOSE SOMEONE ELSE! YIPPIE! Not only that, but the bottled up trauma, anger, and hate that SUN CAUSED because of his HOGGING ASS KEEPING HIM AND MOON SUPPRESSED for so long, and he STILL isnât free from that even as Eclipse. Eclipse at this point has spent his ENTIRE LIFE suffering under Sun and now heâs just being resourceful! So, he sends them a couple traumatic places yada yada he does his little dancy dance. He gets his own body, hunting for the star, yada yada yada.
AT ANY TIME POSSIBLE, MOON AND SUN COULDâVE GONE âhey, letâs make this work. Letâs help Eclipse. Letâs have a whole family.â Of COURSE Eclipse would DENY IT?! THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?? Letâs put that very same sentence in a way that Eclipse sees it. âHey, Eclipse. Apologize for being a monster even though Iâm the one that abused you for several years.â BRO???? I WOULD DECLINE TOO??? H-H-H-HELL NAH!!!
Letâs quickly take a look at Eclipseâs actions against Lunar â specifically, his lash out. Was he terrible for that?! Abso-fucking-lutely. BUT LETâS ALSO COMPARE AND CONTRAST TO MOON JUST REAAAL QUICK. Moon regularly did this kind of stuff REPEATEDLY, whether it was verbal or physical, direct or indirect, SHIT HAPPENED A LOT AND IS IMPLIED TO HAVE BEEN WAAY WORSE BEFORE-SHOW. Because Eclipse is a SINGULAR STRAND OF MALICE-CODE, HEâS OBVIOUSLY GOING TO RETAIN THIS TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE QUALITY. But you know what ELSE happened during that day? Eclipse walks away, goes to a pillar and considers APOLOGIZING. Did he? No. Is he bad for that? Of course. You will NEVER hear me say âEclipse is a good personâ, BECAUSE HEâS NOT. Youâd have to be a MORON to consider that. HOWEVER, he can be UNDERSTOOD and RELATED TO. The path he went down is often a COMMON ONE FOR REAL FUCKING PEOPLE WITH PTSD. TO LASH OUT WHEN TRIGGERED! TO BECOME WORSE THAN BETTER. CAN YOU EVEN BLAME HIM??? As stated by MOON HIMSELF, Eclipse is INCAPABLE of growing and learning as a person. You wanna know why?! HEâS A SINGULAR STRING OF MOONâS FUCKING MALICE YOU MOLDY RAT CONGESTED WITH DISEASE. He IS incapable of it and to HELP HIM he needs help with his PROGRAMMING. YOU BUFFOON. Though not given the time to see if Eclipse would repeat these actions against Lunar again, he (as of our knowledge) hasnât. Moon has done it over and over again and Sun is /still/ traumatized from the Old Moonâs actions when Lunar got over it ages ago. LUNAR IS CHILD CODEDâŠLUNAR SHOULD STILL BE THE TRAUMATIZED ONE. Moon had FAR MORE of an IMPACT than ECLIPSE DID.
This is why Eclipseâs âredemption arcâ only came after RUIN CREATED HIM. HEY GUYS!! I CRACKED THE CODE!!!! ECLIPSE V4 ISNâT REDEEMED BECAUSE HE SUDDENLY WANTS TO BECOME A GOOD PERSON, HEâS BECOMING MORE CALM, COLLECTED, AND RATIONAL BECAUSE HEâS NOT /THAT SINGLE STRING OF MALICE CODE ANYMORE./ He HAS other coding, heâs built from the GROUND UP BY RUIN HIMSELF. Ruin has basically GIVEN HIM the ABILITY to THINK THROUGH MORALS. HE IS /FAR/ MORE COMPLEX NOW. SOMETHING MOON COULDâVE DONE FROM DAY 1!!! BUT NOOOOâŠ
Letâs all step back for a minute. Because Hate, is exhausting. Having an existence with nothing but anger is a very tiring thing. Eclipse becomes depressed as we see a few weeks coming into the Two Parter death of Eclipse. He gets tired, he ends up wanting to just give up and DIE and let the star literally eat him alive, and then he gets that vision of armageddon. AND THENâ SOMEHOW, FOR SOME REASON, HE GOES TO WARN THEM! EVEN WITH HIS IRRATIONAL TACTICS, HIS MALICE BASED CODE, HE /WARNS/ THEM. I cannot express to a normal human being how important that one selfless act is when it comes from someone who only knows how to be selfish. AND YOU KNOW WHAT MOON DOES?! HE KILLS HIM. HE CALLS HIM A LIAR. AND HE FUCKING KILLS HIM. /WITH/ HIS REPLACEMENT WATCHING. HE WAS REPLACED. BY SOLAR.
I love Solar ân all
BUT IâVE ALWAYS HATED SOLAR FOR ONE, ONE SINGULAR REASON. HE WAS PUT THERE BY MOON, SUN, AND LUNAR TO /REPLACE/ ECLIPSE. SO THEY COULD BE A HAPPY FAMILY WITHOUT THE WORK. SO THEY DIDNâT /HAVE/ TO HELP ECLIPSE AND THEYâD JUST LET HIM FUCKING DIE SOMEWHERE. I am so TICKED OFF BECAUSE OF THEM. EARTH IS /EVERYTHING/ TO ME BECAUSE OF WHAT SHEâS BEEN DOING FOR ECLIPSE.
EVEN SOLAR FLARE UNDERSTOOD ECLIPSE MORE THAN MOON. THEYâRE THE SAME FUCKING PERSON. THE SAME. PERSON. đđđđđđ
This is where shit gets so funny.
Throughout all of this, old moon DIES. HE DIES FOR /KILLCODE/ SO THAT /KILLCODE/ CAN HAVE A REDEMPTION. FUCKING. KILLCODE. THE MAN THAT SHOWED NO SIGNS OF BECOMING A GOOD PERSON UP UNTIL IT WAS A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION. THE MAN WHO HAS NO JUSTIFICATION FOR HIS VILLAINY OTHER THAN JUST BEING A KILLCODE. WHICH IS FAIR, BUT ITS NOT TO BE COMPARED WITH ECLIPSE. So the very thing ECLIPSE /NEEDS/ is given to someone WHO DOESNâT EVEN DESERVE IT. But, Moon is Moon. SoâŠself righteous even though heâs horrible and terrible and I HATE HIM.
NEW MOON COMES IN! REMEMBER WHEN /EVERYONE/ IN THE FANDOM WAS LIKE âYAAAY NEW MOON. OLD MOON SUCKS. OLD MOON KINNIES DNI. IF YOU LIKE OLD MOON YOUâRE A BAD PERSON.â N YADA YADA. It wasnât this radical, but it was everywhere. I saw it in a bunch of posts and it drove me insane. (I do love old moon, and Iâve always preferred him over new moon (nexus)) Like â EVERYONE just decided âwell heâs a blank slate now, so whatever! x3â while also completely ignoring the fact Old Moon /was/ improving, and his sacrifice WAS a great deed and very selfless. Eclipse has always gone through the same thing, at times you could barely even mention him because there were Lunar fictives roaming around whoâd get PTSD from it. (Which is valid. This is not to discriminate systems at all.)
BUT ECLIPSE HAS ALSO HAD THESE SAME GLIMPSES OF LIGHT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. From âI should apologizeâ to Sun and Moon finding out how much pain Eclipse was in to Solar Flareâs talk to âIâm tired.â to The Warning to his numerous deaths, to the (my speculation of) Eclipseâs attempt #1 to Eclipseâs attempt #2 to Eclipse freaking out and contacting Moon that he wasnât supposed to be alive and something was wrong, to Eclipse making amends to Eclipse helping on his own desire, to Eclipse hanging out with Earth regularly (which he used to belittle her and insult her. He has CLEARLY changed.), to Eclipse being literally beaten up in a podcast and framed for numerous unspeakable things, to Eclipse BRINGING BACK SOLAR to Eclipse just leaving. The amount of times people could have seen ANY SIGN was IMPOSSIBLY DRASTIC AND LENGTHY. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DID?? CONTINUED TO BELITTLE HIM AND KILL HIM. Eclipse only actually killed ONE character of importance, which was Lunar. (Which like oh my god dude but he did stab you in the back firstâŠi guessâŠstillâŠstill fucked upâŠi cant defend you other than saying âit was really funnyâ.)
TELL ME. TELL ME WHY MOON GOT HIS REDEMPTION SO FUCKING EARLY WITHOUT BATTING AN EYE AND ECLIPSE HAS JUST BEEN FUCKING NEGLECTED?! MOON GOT TO GET AWAY SCOTT FREE, OLD MOON AND NEW MOON. EVEN THE NEW MOON ENDED UP BECOMING NEXUS AND TRIED TO KILL HIS FAMILY. WOWIE! WOWIE WOWIE DIDNâT SEE THAT ONE COMING!!! AND NOW OLD MOON IS BACK AND STILL EVERYONE IS JUST /HAPPY/. Moon has arguably had a BIGGER, MORE REPETITIVE, AND DEEPER impact traumatically when he lashes out. All Eclipse truly did was to LUNAR and then sending Sun and Moon on wild goose chases and races towards the star. Eclipse WON that star too and did NOTHING with it. BECAUSE HEâS FUCKING DEPRESSED!! AND HE HAS THAT RIGHT. Moon is AWARE that EVERYTHING is HIS FAULT. He has ACKNOWLEDGED THIS, YET HAS DONE NOTHING BUT MAKE IT WORSE. Moon is a VILE, SELFISH BROTHER. Not just to Sun, but to ECLIPSE. THEYâRE THE SAME FUCKING PERSON. You canât just say âi hate myselfâŠ.:emo:â EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW HATES THEMSELF BUT YOU COULD AT LEAST HELP THE FUCKING ORANGE VERSION OF YOU FIND A FUCKING COPING MECHANISM OTHER THAN REVENGE?? Heâs been TAME SO MANY TIMES, SO MANY VULNERABLE POINTS and they NEVER TOOK ADVANTAGE OF IT TO HELP HIM. You canât just try to help a person ONCE and then DROP THEM. Thatâs NOT HOW HEALING FUCKING WORKS. YOU /CONTINUE/ TO PRY, YOU STOP THEM FROM DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS, YOU STAY WITH THEM. LEARN FROM SUN YOU DIMWIT. ECLIPSE NEEDED YOUR HELP SO MANY TIMES AND YOU JUST STOOD THERE AND CALLED HIM A MONSTER??? YOU DESERVED TO WATCH SOLAR DIE. YOU CANâT JUST REDEEM YOURSELF AND LET THE OTHER YOU WITHER LIKE FUCKING PAPER IN WATER YOU COURT JESTER. YOUR JOKES ARENâT FUNNY, THEY MAKE ME WANT TO RIP THAT FOOLâS CAP OFF YOUR HEAD AND STUFF IT INTO YOUR ESOPHAGUS.
NOBODY WILL UNDERSTAND ECLIPSEâS ANGER THE WAY I DO.
đ
I am so unhealthy about this man.
anyways, thoughts? Sorry if this is a little messy, it just kinda happensâŠletting out my inner alpha and all..đșđșđș
(believe it or not this is actually not all of it, this is just on one idea.)
Once again noting this is all light hearted, just being wrapped up in the acting and how much I can understand a character and feeling personally obligated to stand up for him. Eclipse has touched my heart in a way nothing else has, and I will continue screaming about him until I wither up and die. Everyone can have different perspectives and ideas, this is what I see. AND I SEE INJUSTICE!! /silly
#im ok i promise#sun and moon show#fnaf dca#fnaf security breach#fnaf daycare attendant#five nights at freddy's security breach#tsams#eclipse tsams#debate#tsams talk#confession
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Behind the Curtain: A Sinned Awakening Storyđ©ž
An AU Elvis fic
(Vampire!Elvis/ Vampire Austin! Elvis x reader)
Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)
Prompt: Getting promoted to be Elvis full time housekeeper, you realize the man holds secrets beyond belief and your undeniable attraction makes you tear the unknown. [Fem!Reader]
TW: Cussing, mentions of blood, SMUT,
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 3.7k
A/N: Hello again! I have found some inspiration regarding Vampire!Elvis đ«Ł I've had this idea for a while and thought to make it a stand alone one shot but why not make it part of the Sinned Awakening universe? I think it works well considering what goes on in this partđ Elvis is on his worst behavior in this one... you've been warned hehe.
If you'd like to start from the beginning, start here or Ao3! hope you enjoy and message and comment what you think.
Las Vegas, February, 1974
You could hardly believe that it was a year, almost to the date, when you first met Elvis here in Las Vegas. It felt like another lifetime since you first saw each other and fought that undeniable attraction. Through struggle and heartache, you both could not deny the connection you had. Now you were a vampire too, madly in love with Elvis Presley. More in love than you thought was ever possible. He constantly reminds you of that fact too. How he cannot believe you are his and drowns you in his love.Â
He was about to open his winter residency at The Hilton tonight. He was as usual, very nervous and couldnât contain it. You tried to stay backstage to calm him down. He said you made him feel more relaxed when you were right next to him. But the other issue on hand tonight was that he hadnât been feeding. He took rehearsing so seriously for these shows and put all his time and energy into practicing these last few weeks to make this the best show anyone has seen. You tried to gently remind him to take the time to feed but he always dismissed it. He would assure you he was fine and would feed later but of course, he wouldnât. You can sense how hungry he was just standing next to him. He was trying to focus on getting mentally ready for the show but the overwhelming scent of blood from every human in the audience was driving him insane.Â
It was almost time for the curtain to go up and you had to get to your seat. Jerry was waiting to escort you to the ballroom and take his seat with you. Elvis didnât trust anyone anymore and was forever paranoid that someone would try to take you again. Even with you being a vampire and stronger than ever, he didnât want to take a chance. So any show you went to, Jerry always accompanied you. He was always such great company and never complained he had to escort you anywhere.Â
You tell Jerry youâll be right there and quickly pull Elvis to the side.Â
âBaby, are you okay?â You ask low, squeezing his hand. He looks at you nervously, his eyes darker than youâve seen in a long time.Â
âYeah, Iâm fine. Just nervous thatâs all,â he says flatly.Â
âI know. But you still havenât fed have you?â You say bluntly.Â
He looks down and shakes his head no. You reach for his face to look back at you.Â
âItâs okay. Youâre going to have an amazing show tonight. Just focus on me. If you canât control your thirst up there, focus on me. Thatâs what Iâve always done and it always helps,â you try to assure him. He nods his head and smiles at you sweetly.Â
âThen after the show you better feed,â you scold him.Â
âI will. Thank you, baby,â he says leaning down for a kiss.Â
You go walk with Jerry and take your seats in the center booth, your usual spot. The house was packed and was buzzing with excitement. There was a lot of anticipation for this engagement. The public was noticing a very different Elvis. He wasnât the usual recluse who would avoid people at all costs. He wasnât locked up in the penthouse for hours on end anymore. Elvis liked to be out and primarily show you off around town. It was a nice change. You were glad you could bring the more adventurous side out of him.Â
The band starts to play the opening riff and the crowd bursts in applause. Everyone is on their feet including yourself, waiting eagerly to see him come from the wings of the stage. You hear his heart racing away and he takes a deep breath before stepping onto the stage. The audience somehow gets even louder when they see him emerge with his white fringe jumpsuit and green macrame belt. It even has your jaw on the floor. Something about seeing him on stage with the dozens of lights on him somehow makes him look more attractive. Hell, you had seen him naked but something about him on stage in a jumpsuit had you incredibly weak.
He picks up his guitar and puts the strap on around his shoulders. He grabs the microphone and pulls it toward him, spreading his legs slightly as he stands there. His voice booms through the speakers and sends chills through you. He was so electric without even trying. His leg wonât stop shaking and it only draws your attention more to those impossibly long legs.Â
It was an hour of nonstop hits and some new songs heâd never performed live. He was just sensational. It never failed to amaze you to see him on stage and do what he does best. The crowd was rowdy and loved everything he did. How he would tease the audience, walking slowly to the edge of the stage to the screaming fans and quickly walking in another direction, leaving them begging for him. Or how he would move his hips in the most subtle of ways and leave everyone drooling for more, including yourself. You didnât care how many times you saw him, there was no denying how that man would make you feel when he moved. You could feel the blood rush to your core if you thought about that for too long. You try to pull yourself together and not make it noticeable to Jerry that you are feeling a certain way about Elvisâ performance.Â
Canât Help Falling in Love starts playing and Jerry motions for you to follow him backstage. The gold curtain dropped and the crowd was going wild for Elvis. He kneels on the floor with one leg stretched out, along with his arms and his head bowed. It was quite the thing to see. The most simple act of showing his appreciation to his fans. He gets up off the floor and everyone from the band congratulates him on a great show. You wait patiently to greet him. He deserved to be acknowledged by everyone. After some time, through the sea of people, you see him there. His hair was wet and his jumpsuit clung to his body. Your eyes meet through the crowd and your heart hammers uncontrollably. His eyes lure you in and make you feel like a puddle. Oh God, you know what the look meansâŠ
He walks through some of the crew and goes straight for you. He picks you up and holds you tight.Â
âCome here mama,â he whispers seductively in your ear.Â
Goddamn it, he just canât help himself, can he? He wants you to lose all control right here right now.Â
âYou were incredible honey! I couldnât believe what you did up there,â you say as you hug him tightly. He sighs contently when he feels you pressed against him.Â
You feel his hands tangle in your hair and pull you in by the nape of your neck. He kisses you fervently, igniting a blazing heat inside of you. You cling to his wet body, needing to be as close as possible to him. He starts to walk backward, his lips never leaving yours. He pushes back through the black curtain that separates the band from the storage area of the backstage.Â
You quickly look around and see lots of sound equipment and storage containers for the bandâs instruments. You glance back at Elvis and see that devious, dark, hungry look in his eyes. It makes you quiver. With a motion of his finger, he lures you in and beckons you to get closer to him standing in the corner. You willingly walk over to him feeling like putty already. His hair was an absolute mess and his chest glistened with sweat. He looked like he had just been fucked but you hadnât laid a hand on him. Yet.Â
He was impatient and pulled you in quickly, pressing you to his body again. You softly groan with the way heâs touching you, urgently and unrelenting. He starts to kiss your lips again, groaning when he does this. His whole presence has you drowning. He was so on edge and adrenaline still pumped through him after completing such a stellar show.Â
You feel the hard concrete wall press against your back and Elvisâ hands squeeze any part of you he could touch first. He puts his hands on your hips and covers your face with kisses. Those lips will always leave you feeling breathless.Â
He leans into your ear, âIâm starvinâ,â he groans. Your heart hammers away by just that notion.Â
You pull your hair to the side and expose your neck to him. âGo ahead baby, itâs okay,â you encourage him. You hear him take a deep breath in and suddenly feel him lick the side of your neck. You groan at the sensation and pull at his jumpsuitâs collar.
âIâm starved for all of you,â he groans as his hands go lower and brings your leg up to wrap around his hip. You feel his cock begin to get hard, pushing into your body and making you weak by the thought of having him.
He starts to ravage your neck with kisses, nipping and sucking at the spot where he wants to bite. You canât help but get turned on by all of this, the way he was desperate for you was more than you could ever ask for. You feel his hands scrunch up your dress around your hips and his fingers find your aching bud. You gasp at the sensation and hold onto him tighter.Â
âElvis, oh God,â you moan. He doesnât lift his head from your neck yet, he is still fully wrapped up in your scent while his hands find new ways to make you a weak mess. You then feel his fangs enter your neck and you have to sniffle the moan he made you produce. He makes satisfied grunts as he starts to drink your blood, holding onto you tighter and teasing you more with those fingers. He was enjoying every second of this. He lifts his head up and you watch as he licks the dripping blood that falls down his bottom lip. His eyes looked much brighter and he had more life in his face. But he still looked dangerous. He was looking at you like he wasnât quite done. He wasnât completely satisfied.Â
You hold your breath as he looks at you like this. Youâre unsure what to do or say right now. He takes a step back from you and eyes you up and down. You watch as his fingers start to unlace the jumpsuit. Your heart nearly stops when you realize what heâs about to do.
âWhat do you think youâre doing?â You whisper in a gruff fashion.
He doesnât answer you, he just keeps looking at you like he did when you were human. You didnât know it then, but he was on the verge of draining you when he looked at you like that. Lord, those heated looks should have killed you right then and there and they just might tonight. The laces were untied and he started to unzip the rest of the suit.
âWhat does it look like Iâm doing baby?â He says low with a smirk on his face.
âElvis right here? No, we canât. Someone can walk by and catch us,â you panic, still hearing the hum of the crowd and chatter of the band members beyond the curtain.
He starts to shrug his arms out of the suit and looks down at how his cock is fully hard now, begging to be let out. God, you were a dead woman. You take one look at him and youâre ready to sink to your knees for him. He pulls down his jumpsuit a bit and you watch as his hand reaches in it to pull his cock out.Â
âElvis, please,â you whimper. Youâre not sure what youâre asking him at this point but you canât handle any of this.
âYouâre gonna be a good, quiet little girl for me okay? Thatâs how weâre not gettinâ caught,â he says seductively. You canât tear your eyes off of him, his whole presence right now is dominating and you love it too much to stop it. He takes your hand and has you wrap it around his length. Without even thinking much of it, you start to jerk his cock, watching the pleasure wash over his face. It was addicting to see him so turned on. It didnât matter how many times you were with him intimately, you couldnât contain the pure shock that went through you as you touched him and felt the size of him. The heat that came off of him was overwhelming and he was throbbing in your hand.Â
âFucking hell baby,â you gasp.Â
âYouâre gonna let Daddy fuck you right here,â he growls in your ear. You freeze, you had never done something like this and you knew you were not prepared for any of it.
âTake your panties off for me,â he commands. His voice made your core throb and you looked down at his length. Precum started to come out of him and you couldnât think any rational thoughts. You pull his foreskin back and spread the sticky fluid all over his tip with your thumb. He grunts and pulls away from you quickly.Â
He grabs your face in his hand to get you to look at his intimidating eyes and sharp fangs peeking out from his upper lip.
âI wonât ask again. Or do I have to rip them off with my teeth?â He growls. You whimper in agony, not ready for this man.Â
Your silence speaks volumes and he lets out a frustrated grunt. He lifts up your dress and he starts to sink to his knees. He nips at your thighs with his fangs and draws blood. He licks at the wounds greedily and inches closer and closer to your core, leaving little marks of his fangs all over your legs. You open your legs a bit wider, hoping his tongue might pay a visit to your aching bud. But he wasnât going to give you what you wanted, he was only going to do what pleased him.
You watch helplessly as he bites at the elastic of your panties and tears them off of you in one motion. He lets them fall at your feet and you tremble uncontrollably. He looks back at you with a hungry stare, not liking that you didnât listen to him.Â
âAlways so difficult hmm? A good girl listens to me when I tell her to do something,â he hisses. You nod your head at him but itâs too late, you didnât listen and youâre sure heâll make you pay for it. He lifts you up and has you wrap your legs around his hips as youâre pinned to the wall. The grip he has on your thighs is tight and you can feel how bad heâs dying to fuck you. You feel the tip of him hover at your entrance and your eyes are blown wide, silently begging him for forgiveness.Â
âBaby please, I-I-Iâll listen. Iâll be good.â You try to beg but he doesnât listen. Â
He swiftly enters you and you yelp at the forcefulness of his hips. You gasp for breath as he stuffs you with his cock. He quickly covers your mouth with his hand and continues to move inside of you.Â
âGood girl,â he grunts, âTake Daddyâs cock like only you can,â he says with a devious smirk. Your eyes roll back in your head at his tone.Â
He fills you hard and fast, giving you no time to adjust around his substantial girth. He revels how your sopping wet cunt hugs his length tightly with every thrust. You cling onto his shoulders and hold onto him for dear life. The only thing you can hear is the sound of you two breathing, trying to keep it together, and the sound of his cock plunging into your wet pussy. It was all torture. You wanted to move too but the grip he had on you was too tight for you to do anything. He takes his hand off of your mouth to watch your face drown in pleasure. He looks damn good like this. His hair was such a mess and was so concentrated on you.Â
Youâre stuffed to the hilt and his hips move in short, powerful thrusts, hitting that spot inside you that can make you come on his command. You canât stay quiet. He was killing you and he knew it. His hips were unrelenting and driving into you like he had never had you before. You tilt his head to the side and sink your teeth into his neck, muffling the scream heâs made you produce. He groans softly at your actions, finding it all amusing that heâs made you such a mess.Â
âDoing so good baby girl. You like how deep my cock is?â He groans in your ear. You dig your nails into his back, unable to handle what just uttered from his lips.Â
âIâll take that as a yes,â he chuckles.Â
Each movement of his hips made you hold back loud moans you couldnât help but make. You were biting down hard enough on his neck to draw blood and let the delicious taste of him coat your tongue. You slowly drink his blood and feel your orgasm looming.Â
You take your fangs out of him and press your head to the wall, writhing in agony. You watch Elvisâ face smugly look at you and enjoy every second of this. You were so close to finishing, you felt your body become weaker and weaker with every thrust of his hips. Your ears suddenly pick up the sound of footsteps walking in your direction backstage. Your whole body freezes, petrified of someone walking by.Â
âEP, you back here?â A manâs voice calls out.Â
You look at Elvis terrified, you want to run away as fast as you can. He doesnât let you budge though. He shakes his head at you and continues to hold you tight.Â
âI could have sworn I saw him go back here,â another man said. You recognize itâs Jerry. Damn it, no. You claw at Elvisâ arms, begging him to stop. He moves slowly but it is still so agonizing and a small whimper escapes your lips. His eyes flash a warning at you and proceeds to put two fingers to your lips.Â
âShhhâŠOpen those pretty lips baby,â he whispered. You helplessly do as he asks and he pushes his fingers into your mouth.Â
âSuck baby and be quiet,â he says, his voice low and gruff. You eagerly do so and swirl your tongue around his long fingers. His face looks intoxicated from what he is seeing you do. You slowly suck on them, liking to see his reaction to this act. His eyes donât leave you for even a second.
âFuck, just like that honey,â he praises. His hips drive into you harder and your eyes roll back, feeling yourself about to come undone. He was unrelenting and on a pursuit to make you come regardless if people were walking around backstage.
He pushes his fingers further into your mouth and stuffs you to the brink with his cock. You come hard and your walls squeeze around the base of his cock. You see fireworks behind your closed eyelids and your whole body shudders. He canât hide how good you feel around him and his jaw drops when he feels you come. He canât hold on much longer either and burrows his face in your neck, hiding his own muffled groans.Â
âGoddamn baby,â he growls. He thrusts his hips into you once, then twice and you feel his length twitch inside you. He pours his warm, thick load inside of you and groans into the crook of your neck. You gasp for air and your walls squeeze around him again, loving to hear how good he feels. He moves in and out of you slowly, making you both writhe because of how sensitive you are.Â
He lifts his head up to see your spent expression on your face. He takes his fingers out of your mouth and goes to kiss you. It was passionate and sloppy and you loved it. You moan into his mouth and pull at his wet hair. You look into his beautiful eyes and see how he canât get enough of you. He gently takes his cock out of you and sets you back on the ground. Your legs feel weak and cling to his body as you try to regain your normal breathing.Â
He kisses the top of your head and makes a soft chuckle.
âYou alright lilâ darlinâ?â He asks coyly.
You look up at him with a mischievous glimmer in your eye. âYes Daddy,â you say defiantly. Your hand wraps around his length and you slowly rub his head. You knew heâd be too sensitive to handle this and smirk to yourself. His hips buck into your hand and his face is shrouded in agony.
âWoman I swear to God-,â he growls. You stop briefly and hum softly.
âWhat baby? I'm being good, I swear,â you tease.
You pull down your dress and start to walk away from him with a smug smile on your face. You knew you got under his skin and you were amused by it all. You donât make it very far backstage before you feel Elvis pick you up and throw you over his shoulder.
âElvis!â You yelp. He chuckles low and makes quick strides to exit the backstage and into the elevator. He swiftly sets you down and presses the button for the penthouse. He smirks at you and takes your face in his hands as the elevator lurches up.
âItâs going to be a long night mama,â he murmurs, placing a kiss on your lips.
*
*
*
Tagging:
@neptuneismysister @velvetelvis @ccab @presleyenterprise @theresalwaysep
@prompted-wordsmith @sillybookmarks @dkayfixates @ellie-24 @rktismylife-blog
@myradiaz @tacozebra051
@thatbanditqueen
@flwrs4aust @emma181873
@austinswhitewolf @eliseinmemphis
@everythingelvispresley @chasingwildflowers @idontwanttoputanything. @ohjustpeachy_
@elvisalltheway101 @austinsmutler @kingdomforapony.
@generoustreemystic @claire-elvisgirl
@ashtag6887 @burnthheparaphilia @richardslady121
@jaqueline19997
@returntopresley. @iloveelvis @rimartin11@that-hotdog.
@louisejoy86 @misspresley @cattcb @annapresley8
@arrolyn1114 @raginginkedslut @epthedream69
@mh777ep1938
@50sexyshadesfashionista
@oldhOllywOod @hooked-on-elvis @livelovedilfs @sloppiest-of-jos
#elvis presley#elvis presely smut#elvis presley fanfiction#elvis fic#elvis smut#elvis imagine#elvis x reader#elvis x you#elvis x y/n#vampire elvis#70s elvis#sammykinz fics#fanfiction
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Unrepentant
Title: Unrepentant Fandom: Tokyo Revengers Rating: Explicit Pairing: Sano "Mikey" Manjiro x Fem!Reader, Bonten x Fem!Reader Word count: 3599 Warnings: Dark!fic. Dub-con. Wearing a collar and leash as punishment. Talk of ownership. Edging. Coercion. Public Sex. Swearing. Drug Use. Threats. Choking. Orgasm Denial. References to drug addiction. Unbeta'd. *warnings are not exhaustive*
Notes: I had the urge to write something while listening to Poison from Hazbin Hotel on repeat. This is the result. It is a dark fic. Consider yourself warned. Reader is not described in looks or size. Please let me know what you think. (It's one of the many fics/oneshots I have planned or started for TR lol.) Enjoy!
HEED THE WARNINGS
How did it come to this?
Youâre kneeling at his feet, eyes on the ground as the bass of music in the club thumps in time with the headache in the back of your skull. Itâs punishment.Â
Not the headache. Thatâs the ache that comes with withdrawal, the same way your fingers twitch as you try to hold them in place. But the position youâre in. The collar tight around your neck thatâs attached to a chain he holds. The tension is loose as if itâs not there, but you know if you even shift out of your position, youâll feel it.Â
Feet come to pause in front of you, clad in expensive shoes. You donât move, donât look to confirm your suspicion about who it is.Â
âLook at you,â he coos. You can hear him clearly over the music, but itâs only when he bends down and tilts your head up to look at him, that you know youâre right. âYou look like a fragile thing like this, doll. Whatâd you do to earn this?â
He knows. They all know. Itâs just another test. Ran grins at you as you drop your eyes, knowing you canât respond right now without permission.Â
âAnswer.â The man holding your chain demands, yanking it slightly in warning.Â
You donât flinch, donât make a sound at the way it jars you. âI made a mistake,â you say, just loud enough that they both can hear you.Â
Ran laughs at that. âYeah, baby? A mistake?â
It was more than that. The reason Mikey collared you and kept you chained tonight at his feet was a lesson in humiliation and obedience. In a fit of sobriety, you had attempted to escape. You didnât get far.Â
âThat what youâre calling it?âÂ
You look up at Ran. He looks as handsome as ever, but you know the truth of whatâs behind his good looks. You know how much blood is on their hands. You nod and drop your eyes again.Â
His hand grips your jaw tightly, fingers digging into your cheeks as he forces you to look up at him. âSuch a pretty thing, baby. Open your mouth.âÂ
Fear sparks up your spine. Youâre in public, even if itâs the VIP area of the club. There are others around. The hesitation makes Ran dig his fingers in tighter, pressing your cheeks against your teeth as he forces you to open your mouth. He leans in and lets a lob of spit fall from his mouth into yours. You swallow, taking the revulsion with it. He smirks, letting go of your jaw before he pats your cheek. He looks up to Mikey who has the chain youâre attached to wrapped around one of his hands. âLet me know when youâre done with her. She can keep the chain.âÂ
The worst part is that you can only blame yourself. This was a choice you made. Even if you didnât know it would turn out this way.Â
âïž
It had been chance that led you to them. A bad day, week, yearâŠit had all added up to the moment when you found yourself stumbling into a firm chest. You had dropped the paperwork you had been holding and could only watch helplessly as it fell into the rain. You were crying before you realized it, the dam of stress finally breaking. You kneel on the wet ground, tears falling and mixing with the rain that had started to soak into your skin.
He could have left you. He should have left you, but the stranger you ran into paused and bent down, helping you pick up the papers. He made some ill-timed joke about it not being that bad, and before you knew it, you were telling him about how this was going to get you fired. The admission that you were struggling to provide for your family. A younger sibling, a mother in the hospitalâŠyou were their last leg of survival. And it was ruined.Â
Until he offered to help.
You should have run in the other direction and never looked back.Â
âïž
You hear his laugh first.Â
âI didnât think youâd actually do it!â Sanzu says, leaning against the chair behind you. You can practically feel the heat of his body against your back. Itâs not surprising. The outfit youâre in can barely be called a dress. âShit, MikeyâŠyou like her like this? You look like you belong there, sweetheart,â Sanzu says. You ignore the jeering. He likes to get a reaction.Â
âMaybe we should keep her like this all the time.â A foot nudges the side of your leg. Rindou. It wasnât often the two of them were together, but it was a dangerous combination. Like the Haitani brothers together and in a competitive mood.
You try to ignore them, but then Rindou moves in front of you. He doesnât bend down, but he slips his foot between your legs. You watch as he steps a bit closer before pressing the top of his foot up against you. You tremble, trying not to react as he purposefully tries to make you break, to make you beg, to do anything that counts as breaking Mikeyâs rules tonight. You try to focus on your breathing instead of how he rubs his foot against you and how the laces on his shoes cause nearly enough friction on your clit through the lace of the underwear you wear.Â
Itâs torture trying to keep yourself from grinding down on it, seeking a release you know they can give you if theyâre feeling generous.
Finally, he pulls back and you let out a shuddered breath.
âYou must really be sorry,â Rindou says.Â
A hand digs into your hair, pulling your head back until youâre looking up at Sanzu whoâs staring down at you, cerulean eyes narrow in their glare.Â
âAre you?â he demands.Â
You nod quickly, tears prickling in your eyes at the pain of your hair being pulled with the motion. âIt was a stupid mistake. Iâll be good!â
He drags a drag of whatever heâs smoking and leans down, blowing it in your face. The familiar scent of marijuana engulfs you and you breathe in quickly, chasing the tease of a high. Anything for an escape. âYou better fucking hope so,â he says. Â
âïž
Kakucho offers you two things when you finally get out of the rain. Heâll smooth over the issues at your job, follow you and explain that the destroyed paperwork was his faultâŠor heâll get you a job. One that will compensate you far better than anything youâll do in an office that doesnât appreciate you. He can help you protect your family, to give them a better life and better healthcare for your mother.Â
Youâre not stupid. You question his motives first.Â
He shrugs. âMaybe I just canât stand to see a pretty girl cry.â Thereâs something in his eyes that warns you, but you ignore it...and ask what the job entails.
âïž
Mochi doesnât kneel in front of you.Â
He doesnât do anything like trying to edge you or blow smoke in your face. Instead, he rests his hand on the top of your head as he speaks to Mikey. He stands in front of you, but in a way that feels more like heâs blocking you from the others. A small kindness.Â
Until he bends down and gently tilts your head up to look at him. He looks at Mikey before offering you a sip of his drink. You agree instantly, letting him tilt it to your lips. âYou look good like this, princess. But I prefer you unchained. Hope you learn this lesson. You try it again and one of us just might have to break something.â The drink spills over your lips, making you cough as you choke on the sudden increase of liquid. You bend forward before you can stop yourself, coughing harder. The collar tightens as the chain doesnât give any further leeway.Â
You hear someone laugh in the distance. You think it might be Sanzu but you ignore it, well aware of the pleasure theyâre taking in your penance. Mikey had given you a choice when you were dragged back in front of him. Your life or your familyâs. It was the same one that got you into this situation in the first place. Only this time, if you chose to leave them in the manner they picked, theyâd go to your family and drag them deeper into the depths you were submerged in. Your mother was recovering. Your younger sibling has a future ahead of them. You couldnât bury them in your regrets and bad decisions. You made the same choice you did last time. The same one youâll make every time.Â
You go back to your kneeling position once you can breathe again.
âïž
The job that Kakucho promises is a simple office job. One where you keep your head down and donât ask questions. It lasts two weeks. Two weeks of learning the systems, of ignoring the small things you start learning about who youâre working for. Two weeks of dealing with the confused looks other people send you, of the way Kakucho appears occasionally to walk you out. Until he kisses you.Â
He doesnât apologize when you reel back in surprise. His mismatched eyes watch you, hand grabbing your wrist before you get too far. Itâs just a kiss, he tells you. Donât forget why youâre here.Â
A reminder that you owe him. You nod and he lets you go, but the next day, a strange man is waiting at your desk. One of the other executives, you quickly learn.Â
âïž
The pain in your head is growing.Â
You want silence or at least something stronger than a puff of smoke shotgunned into your mouth. You never used to do drugs. Funny how fast that all changed. Now youâll take anything to forget.Â
Your legs have gone numb under you and youâll be lucky if you can walk when he finally decides to take you home. Thereâs no other place for you. You lost your own apartment ages ago and while all the men have used you, Mikey holds you as tight as he does now, whether or not thereâs a physical chain that links you. You owe him your life now. He was gracious not to kill you when you ran from them. This is a small price compared to what you could have owed.Â
âYou gonna let her up?âÂ
Takeomi. You donât see him, but you hear him. If Mikey says anything in response, it blends too well into the background.Â
âLeast he chose you a good outfit. Look up at me, darling.â They each have their pet names for you when theyâre being kindâŠor wanting to mock you and your fate.Â
You wait for the tug signalling permission before you look up at Mikeyâs advisor. Heâs smoking a cigarette and standing there, looking down at you. Heâs older, a scar on his face like some of the others. Different and yet so similar that it makes you think of Kakucho whoâs either not attending or has been ordered away from you.Â
âYouâre fucked up, arenât you?â he asks. He takes the cigarette out of his mouth before turning to offer it to you. Itâs not as strong as you want, but the nicotine might be enough to help ease some of the headache youâre feeling. He lets you inhale twice before he takes it back. An indirect kiss thatâs tame compared to some of the other stuff youâve done together.Â
âThank you,â you say, knowing itâs required.Â
He smirks at you, taking another drag before he turns to Mikey. âYou should keep the collar.âÂ
âI know a place,â a new voice interrupts. Koko leans down as he steps up next to you. âWe could get one of the ones that she canât take off. With our symbol carved into it.â He looks at you carefully before lifting your head to look at him. âThought youâd be crying.â He lets out a small sigh as if heâs disappointed. âYouâre prettier when youâre crying.â
You look away, unsure of how to respond to that. Koko likes to spoil you, but he also likes to see you overstimulated and begging for him to stop. Every gift comes with a price and you pay the most with Kokoâs.Â
âYou should have come to me,â Koko says softly. âWould have fucked that mistake out of your head.â He uses your term, informing you that theyâre talking about you. Itâs nothing new. Youâve been with them all, separately and together. Theyâve all seen you breaking apart around them and each other. Itâs only everyone else that doesnât get a taste of you.Â
âïž
The first time you meet Mikey, youâre outside a club you never wanted to go to. It was some party for the employees and the entire floor had been invited. It had been made clear to you, not only by Kakucho but Ran and the others as well, that your attendance was mandatory.
Youâre in the middle of eating one of the snacks you picked up at the convenience store on the way here, leaning against the wall of the club. Thereâs no line tonight and youâre in no rush to go in. Youâd rather not drink on an empty stomach.Â
Itâs not long before you realize someoneâs watching you.Â
You turn to look, but when you finally catch them, it becomes a little more apparent that theyâre not staring at you, but at the food in your hand.Â
âWant one?â you ask. He looks thin, his outfit too large on him. Youâre not particularly charitable, but youâd rather get rid of the food and garbage before walking into a club. You offer the bag to him.Â
He stares at you, finally meeting your eyes, for a long moment. âWhy?â
You shrug. âIâm fullâŠand I donât want to carry it. You can throw it out if you want, but itâs still sealed. I just bought it down the street.âÂ
He takes the bag, pulling the pancake treat out and staring at the package. He looks back at you. âYou here?â he asks, nodding towards the club. When you nod, he leaves and you watch incredulously as he walks in with the plastic bag in one hand. The bouncers donât even ID him.Â
âïž
Mikey pulls at your collar until youâre stumbling in front of him, leaning into his legs as you try to ease the pressure. He shifts his position before pulling and youâre left struggling as climb up into his lap at his silent demand.Â
You straddle his thighs, waiting until he directs you. Youâre not usually this calm, this submissive, but the threat of your familyâs lives hangs over your head. Regret for your own choices sits heavy in your gut. Itâs your own fault.Â
âLook at me.â
You lift your eyes to meet Mikeyâs. His gaze is dark, but itâs not empty like it used to be. Not like when you met. He stares at you for a long moment before his hand slips between your legs. Your breath hitches as his fingers shove your underwear to the side, pressing in. He doesnât look away from you as he swipes up before pulling his fingers out. They shine slightly, slick with the wetness that gathered from Rindouâs foot and the way the men have come to tease you, to try to make you react to them to exacerbate your punishment.Â
He holds them up between you before moving them to your mouth. You open instantly, letting Mikey press his fingers down on your tongue. You close your lips around them, sucking softly and trying to clean yourself off of him.Â
âTrying hard to earn my forgiveness, arenât you?â he says.Â
You nod, moving your tongue over his fingers until he shoves them further down your throat until you choke. Tears build up in your eyes instantly. He keeps them there as you struggle to breathe before he pulls them out.Â
You gasp for air, tears falling down your cheeks. A sharp smack against your ass makes you take a deep breath, trying to stop yourself from crying.Â
âYou want my forgiveness. Earn it.â
âïž
Your back is to his chest as you face the room. The music thumps in along with your heartbeat. Youâre not sure where one stops and the other begins at this point. Smoke hangs in the air, a hazy mix of tobacco, marijuana and fog from the machines. Itâs not enough.Â
You rock your hips, trying to build the pleasure for both of you. Mikey is hard inside you, stretching you deliciously, one hand looped around the chain attached to your collar while the other rests on the side of the couch he sits on. Youâre doing all the work, trying your best to get him off, to ignore the eyes of the Executives on you. Youâve seen some of them palming themselves already, trying to ease the tension building from the sight of you fucking their leader.Â
Youâd be more embarrassed if you werenât so focused on this. It's not the first time theyâve watched you, but youâre usually somewhere more private. Not in the VIP section of a club, a open balcony where anyone could see you if they actually wanted to. The crowd would be able to hear you whining, desperate and needy, if it wasnât for the music. Youâre surprised but you donât question the choice. None of them like sharing you and the last time someone else other than any of them walked in on you taking care of one of them, they ended up dead.Â
âMikeyââ you groan, grinding your hips back into his. âMikey, please,â you beg. Youâre not allowed to cum until he lets you.Â
The chain pulls suddenly, yanking your head back until youâre arching your back and your face is next to his. It hurts but you donât dare complain. Not when youâve managed to avoid it so far.
âYou ordering me?â he asks. âYou think you deserve to cum?âÂ
âIâm sorry!â you cry out, hands reaching to the collar, trying to ease some of the pressure. You deviate before you touch it, hearing one of the other men groan in disappointment that youâre still coherent enough to not get yourself into more trouble. Instead, you cup your breasts over the slip of a dress you wear. ââm sorryâŠâ you whine, trying to move your hips, to chase the high thatâs building.
âLook at them.âÂ
Your eyes try to find the other men watching the two of you but the angle youâre currently forced into makes it difficult.Â
âThe only reason youâre not being fucked by them is because of me. Because I havenât given them permission.â He thrusts his hips up, making you cry out in surprise at the sudden change. âI own you. You gave your life to me and here you are, fucking yourself on me, begging me for a release you donât fucking deserve. You want to cum? Fucking beg for my forgiveness.â
âIâm sorry!â You say quickly, tears burning in your eyes from the pain of the position youâre in. âMikey, Iâm sorry! Iâll never run again! I swear! Iâll be good! Please, Mikey! I was wrong! Iâm yours!â
âHmm..â he doesnât say anything else, but the pressure on your throat finally eases and youâre able to lean forward, breathing like normal again. You put your hands on his knees before going back to moving your hips, to using him to fuck yourself on at his orders.Â
It doesnât take long before he tires of your pace. His hand is on your throat, his other arm wraps around your waist as he thrusts up into you. He pulls you down, slamming you onto him. Thereâs nothing you can do but hold on, begging for a release heâs continued to refuse you.Â
He breaks, pulling you down onto him, cock twitching as he cums inside. You moan at the feeling but itâs still not enough, not to get you off. Youâre left on the cusp of your orgasm, feeling needy and desperate in a way that youâve long gotten over hating yourself for.Â
âMikey, please..â you beg quietly.
He pulls you back, hand stroking softly against your hip as he presses his lips against the spot behind your ear. âYou ever try to leave again, Iâll gift you to my men. All of them.â The threat freezes in your chest. It was one thing to be shared amongst the top men of Bonten. It was a whole other to be given to the men who made up the layers of the organization. You wouldnât survive it.Â
âIâll be good,â you promise.Â
He kisses your neck again before holding up the chain thatâs attached to the collar around your neck. âRan.â
You turn, looking to see the eldest Haitani grin before getting up to fetch you. Thereâs a prominent bulge in his pants as he takes the leash from Mikey.Â
âCome on, baby. You gotta apologize to all of us,â he says with a smirk. âThink you can make it up to me too?â
âI expect her back when sheâs done.â
You carefully climb off of Mikeyâs lap, ignoring the feeling of Mikeyâs release slipping out of you and trailing down your thigh, and follow Ran as he leads you by the chain toward the others. Regret churns in your stomach and you quickly shove it down.Â
After all, you can only blame yourself.Â
everything tag list: @raith-way @zeleniafic @veetlegeuse @chickensarentcheap @residentdormouse @themaradwrites @kingsmakers @far-shores
#dark!fic#bonten x reader#mikey sano x reader#sano manjiro x reader#bonten smut#bonten x you#tokyo rev x reader#tokyo revengers x reader#x reader#fem reader
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Happy Wednesday my lovely readers. :) AH the post breakup ep. This one almost hurts more. It's most apt ep name of the entire season. âCrushed.â Boy does this name hold up to what goes down in this episode. As much as it sucks what goes down with Blair. She was damn good at her job and this ep proves that. Lots of Tim analysis in this one as you all know is my jam. Eric and Melissa continue to crush us in this one. Phew. Let us begin.
6x07 Crushed
We start out strong with the soul crushing. Lucyâs necklace and DOD ring are noticeably absent. They know the fandom well to take away these objects. Of course we were going to notice them being gone. Hurts my heart to see it. Makes sense but doesnât make it ache less. Our poor collective shipper heart. Granted the ring was her's long before TimâŠBUT we all know what it represents. Her life being saved. Throwing it out in the hopes he would find it and save her. Represents him digging his bare hands into the earth to retrieve her from it. *sniffle* Iâm fineâŠ.
Her necklace being gone is just a stark reminder of where we are with them. I hate it. The opening sequence is a gut punch to our feels. To Lucyâs too. Tamara is moving out. This also hurts to watch. The end of an era. Lucy is grasping at straws asking if she needs more time before she goes? Tamara asks if she needs her to stay? With the breakup and all? Lucy instantly say no. Even if she wanted to she'd never ask that of her. But itâs clearly upsetting Lucy watching her whole world being dismantled.
She went from having the love of her life with her daily, and Tamara living there, to neither of those things within a week. She literally blinked and her two pillars of support were gone. I adore her making dinner reservations for her though. Wanting to celebrate despite her current sadness. Tamara asks if Tim really got kicked out of Metro? Lucy immediately saddens and morosely replies âYeah.â Tamara being her protective self in her reply. I mean she isnât wrongâŠBut it brings Lucy zero comfort and itâs written all over her face. *sigh*
We go from one heartbreaking scene to another. Once again the punches not being pulled in the last 3 eps. I feel emotionally winded. For only having 10 eps they sure did pack them full of it. Which I was impressed with. We see Tim disassembling his Metro office. Hurts me to see it. Official time of death for Metro Tim is now. You all know how much I loved him in this position. I really hate this. Was more than him being fine af in that outfit. Was years of hard work flushed down the toilet *snaps fingers* Just like that. Really paints the picture of his trajectory downward after Ray.
I hate this on a personal level for him. The breakup is excruciating but adding this in is... It's salt into an already raging wound. Worst part is we watch him being stoic with Wade. Trying to pull all the company lines. Whatever will get him back on duty and Grey out of his hair. Luckily Wade isnât so easily duped. He knows this man well. Been his superiors for years. Can see the grunt mentality Tim is displaying. Knowing how unhealthy it is. Grey lets him know Dr. London will be shadowing him. Tim is naturally upset about this.
This wasn't the work he meant lol Knowing exactly why this is happening. Wade doesnât sugar coat it when Tim pushes back. Nor should he. Lists off the reasons he questions Tim's judgment right now. The reckless behavior that had him bounced out of Metro and back to patrol. Secondly breaking up with Lucy. Tim forgets this man watched over the years how Tim blossomed around her. Even more so when they got together. To toss that away is just as reckless as his behavior that lost him Metro. Tim is in a free fall atm. Grey is just trying to soften the landing when he comes back to Earth.
Tim being a lying liar who lies. Says him breaking up with Lucy had nothing to do with Ray. Oh my love you donât really believe that do you? Because it has EVERYTHING to do with it. Was the catalyst to breaking all our hearts. It's clearly a tactic to get out of his ride along with Blair. The man as we know runs from and buries his feelings. Only person to ever get him to open up heâs shoved away at this point. Phew. This somehow hurts more the second to watch and dissect.
Wade stands his ground about the ride along. Saying if he wants to even begin to earn his trust back. It starts here. Otherwise heâs going to get mandated therapy. Which honestly I wouldâve hated for him. Because therapyâs something you need to come to on your own. Not have it thrust upon you. So Iâm glad Grey started out with this observation first. The man knows what heâs doing. Tim gives into his order of taking her with. Little does he know heâs going to end up doing both.
But thatâs the beauty of this episode tbh. Once that is settled Wade slyly mentions heâs taking Lucy out. Tim being salty says for âEvaluating her too?â I love Greyâs slick smile replying heâs just observing. Like I said earlier. The man knows what heâs doing. Heâs also worried about them both. He knows how serious their relationship was. Probably thought their next step was marriage. So for it to be over heâs gotta do damage control. Heâs the MVP of this ep.
This scene with Smitty still makes me blood BOIL. Months later and it still has me incensed with him. With that jackass too who was betting Tim cheated. How very fucking dare you nobody officer. If you knew Tim at all youâd know he would NEVER. Not ever. Neither of them would. Itâs so degrading for both Tim and Lucy.
Also her and Aaron? Excuse me while I go vomit. I love how she dismantles Smitty. Straight up kills him. The shame on his face is something he deserves and more. This one of the many reasons people knowing was the worst. Because cops or not this was gonna feed the rumor mill. People gossip no matter the profession. Lucy telling him how wildly inappropriate this is. Honestly she shouldâve reported his ass.
I wouldâve. I'm crazy protective of them both. So I hated this scene for them. And for Lucy out of the two of them to find it ughâŠ.Smitty promises heâll shut it down right away. Damn right you will mofoâŠ.That scene still gets under my skin more than I would like. We were all in mourning as a fandom. So this scene lit my Italian rage up. Hated rewatching it. Made me sick to think of them gossiping about them. Still hate this whole thing. Doesnât get easier with time.
The pain train continues forward with this next scene. The LAST thing Lucy needed in this moment was to bump into Tim. Especially coming off the heels of scolding Smitty. We see her rubbing her tattoo like no tomorrow. Trying to calm her raging emotions. She doesnât even get a second to breathe, before running into the cause of her deep hurt.
Gotta commend Melissa and Eric for this awkward encounter. Lucy has zero time for this. Canât even process what just happened with Smitty let alone this. Doesnât stay in that corridor long. Poor Lucy almost stumbles over herself to get away from Tim. Shaking her head as he calls out for her. Rip my damn heart out some more why don't you writers? Good lord. Killing me softy. 5 minutes in and Iâm a damn mess. Also what kills me in this scene how Tim lights up when he sees her.
Ugh you canât do that after what you did Timothy. You stole her voice and her choice in that breakup. You canât be surprised she doesnât want to see you. You destroyed her in that parking lot. Decimated her loving spirit when you took off. Eric once again killing me with his expressions. His reaction after she all but dashes from him breaks my heart. This was self inflicted but hurts to watch none the less. To see them reduced to this awkward interaction is devastating.
I will say I adore Blair for coming right at Tim from the jump. Doesnât wasnât any damn time calling him on his crap. His person isnât there to do it. So she is the next best thing. Well other the Angela. But he needed to hear this stuff from a professional. My sister can tell me something and it doesnât resonate. My therapist does and it clicks. Idk why. Just does. Tim NEEDED this ride along just didnât know it yet.
Doesnât take her long to call Tim out for his decision to use Aaron as a buffer. Is reading him like a book sheâs known for years. Saying heâs doing so cause heâs exhibiting classic avoidance attachment style. (Totally is...) Tim having not been in therapy is confused at her reply. She continues to depict him further. Explaining he prefers surface level over deep intimacy. Which is the case with everyone but LucyâŠ
She continues on to say itâs a defense mechanism. One that is developed due to an overly strict or domineering parent. Usually a father. Tim getting nervous already goes on the defensive. Like he always does when someone has him dead to rights. Did it to Lucy and Angela. This therapist is no different. Stating he isnât a fan of this and there is going to be no over sharing. Ok loveâŠ.
I do adore Grey for making sure Lucy is taken care of. We all know our girl isnât going to take care of herself. Her and Tim are scary alike in this way. Theyâd rather take care of others than do any form of self care. So Wade is doing it for her which I love. He didnât pick Tim he picked HER. He gave Tim what he needed with the therapist. Also we donât get enough Lucy and Wade so I was all about this.
We know heâs worried because sheâs taken hit after hit this year. Tim being the biggest blow of all. These other things were horrible but she had him. Her person. Her pillar. Now thatâs gone and sheâs losing Tamara to boot. She needed this ride along as much as Tim needed his. To say this season has been tough on her would be the understatement of the century. Iâm hurting for her so much. Her entire world was ripped out from underneath her.
I think Grey can tell itâs pent up inside her. The constant âIâm ok and Iâm fine.â Are really cries for help. The awkwardness continues when they run into Tim getting ready for the day. Lucy extends the awkwardness inviting everyone EXCEPT Tim to Tamaraâs farewell dinner. Well and Dr. London heh Who is watching this entire exchange go down. This shot from his cam feeling very intentional as he watches her invite everyone but him. A little shot at his soul watching this happen. He watches her depart sadly some definite longing in it. Oh Timothy you did this to yourself my love. Grey patting his arm as he follows Lucy out.
Lucy and Greyâs first call strikes a personal chord. Far too close to what she and Tim just went through. They show up to a couple fighting. The girl is losing her mind on him. Little stabs to the heart what this woman is upset about. Saying how she thought they were happy. How she thought he was the one. Then it just ended. How it doesnât make sense. Ooof. My heart hurts.
I hate how relevant this call is for Lucy. Crushed is the theme through out this one. Apropos ep name if weâve ever had one. Lucy then gets paranoid because she is feeling exposed in this moment. Feeling things sheâs been suppressing gurgling up. Asking Grey if he set this up? That Tim just bailed on her. That their first call was about a woman being ghosted. I adore his reply. Itâs Top Notch Wade Grey goodness.
Puts her in her place right away with that notion. But itâs very telling to him in this moment how much she needs this shift with him. The amount she has pent up is immense. The fact that she reacted the way she just did proves that. Her sensitivity level is sky high atm. Lucyâs reply when they get back in the car is hilarious though. Much needed levity in a tense moment LOL âItâs my bad.â Hahahaha oh Lucy Chen never change. We love you so.
Dr. London hits the ground running with the case they have. Aaron bringing up itâs always the boyfriend right? When it comes to missing cases like this? Itâs here Blair inserts her like about breakups. Itâs SPOT ON. Say what you will about her as a person but she was damn good at her job. At zeroing in on someone and what makes them tick. What is holding them back. And her line about breakups is just that for Tim. Stating itâs a trigger for many men. How stereotypical gender roles prevent them from seeking help. It gets under Timâs skin instantly. Iâm sure she said for a few reasons.
First because Itâs an accurate statement for most men. Sad but true. Two because she feels this fits Tim perfectly and his current situation. And lastly to see how he would react. Which of course is defensively, but sheâs methodically chipping away at his wall. That statement is not only this situation. But itâs Timâs entire life. His father called him. âPoor little Tim-Tim.â This was not a term of endearment but a mockery of his feelings. For even having them let alone expressing them. To have feelings was shameful and to act on them even more so. Looked at Tim with disgust and disappointment for it.
That scene in 4x09 in his father's hospital room was a painful glimpse into his childhood. To how he was treated for ever being emotional or needing help. So of course heâs not going to reach out for help. Itâs deeply ingrained in him not to do as such. Breaks my heart. Grew up the same way. Being pegged as âSensitiveâ or mocked for what they perceived as emotional tantrums. When I was just a little person with emotions and didn't know how to regulate them. I was emotionally imbalanced because of my parents. Just like Tim is cause of his father. Blair is testing the water with her theory and striking gold in this moment. Quite the opening volley from her.
Grey starts on his own inquiry into how Lucy is. Clearly needing to since she exploded at their last call. Asking if sheâs talked to Tim since the breakup? She is brief and just replies nope. Although her reply is brief her emotions are not. Just hearing his name is springing up tears to her eyes. Melissa aiming to do the same to me in this scene. Straight killing me at how damn sad she looks. I hate it so much. Lucy follows it up with saying she thought he didn't care about her personal life?
Oof giving me Tim flashbacks to 3x08. When she was questioning why they were talking about her personal life? Grey's answer obviously different in this instance. Telling her he cares if it affects her job. I mean he is Watch Commander. This is a valid thing to worry about. Also part of the reason for this ride along. To gauge where she is at and how itâs affecting her on the job. Grey connects the dots of Timâs IA investigation and their breakup. Knowing itâs not a coincidence.
Tells Lucy as such that he canât help but wonder if thereâs a connection. I mean obviously there is. Heâs just not going to get that out of either of them. He failed earlier with Tim. Also it's not the connection he think's it is. I do love her instinct to protect Tim regardless of the hurt. Was pressed and she doesnât budge. That is a natural thing for her bad place or not. Lucy may not fully understand the why of it all. But she would never cast suspicion on him due to it. She just loves him and will protect him even when he has no idea. Iâm not crying you areâŠ.*sniffle*
Lucy reinforces the idea it was nothing of the sort. That it was just weird timing thatâs it. Then she goes into analysis mode. Which is her form of defense mechanism IMO. If she can try to understand it. Figure out the why. Maybe she can start to heal from it. Not have it drown her every single day. Lucy chalks it up to Tim not being emotionally available. I mean that is definitely part of the problemâŠ
He is a disaster zone of a person right now. Heâs occupied mentally in a way she has no idea about right now. At this point in time Tim doesnât even know this about himself. Only that he wasnât deserving of her love, that he is too toxic, and sheâs better off without him. Has no idea how deep the rabbit hole goes for him. Neither does Lucy. It shows how painfully in the dark she is about what went down.
The sports comment is pretty comical though. I mean I totally get being emotional about sports. The Rangers ruined my mood for awhile when they were booted from the playoffs in June. We made it deep into the playoffs too. So I get the hurt. Regardless itâs a funny reply from Grey. Makes Lucy smile too which is a win right now. The look out the window had me cackling haha I love it so much. We need more of them.
Dr. London continues her barrage on Tim and Iâm here for it. Itâs the only way he responds to emotional stuff. Also I think Blair realizes if she doesnât come at him hard, she wonât gain any ground with him. Doesnât hold back when she compares Tim and Lucy to her line about how platonic love. How their's started out as a friendship and blossomed into so much more. *heart clutch* Eric kills me in these shop scenes.
We can feel and see the emotions heâs choking back. The sadness in his reply of âI was her T.O.â He can feel the rush of emotions flooding in so he sends Aaron away. Tries to ward her off by saying he knows what sheâs doing. Blair is getting under his skin quickly and he can feel the heat of it. She is poking at a raw nerve and itâs very evident. The looks on his face through out this scene make me wanna cry. Dr. London reminds him breakups evoke anxiety and depression in men.
Tim being Tim tries bravado this time. Saying heâs not depressed. (Ok babeâŠ) That heâs the one who broke up with her. Trying to deflect but it isnât working on her. Blair doesnât relent and replies yes he did. BUT she can tell he has immense guilt around doing it. Which we know is true. He feels horrendous for breaking his person's heart. Itâs eating at him like a cancer. Exuding out him so much he canât use his usual tactics to hide it from her. She see's right through him. Like he's glass and she's peering in for a look.
Dr. London continues her pegging of him with this next part. My god does she have him dead to rights. Not only that but sheâs getting through. She canât see his face but if she could she would see it. Eric is masterful once again with his expressive emotions. We watch the range of emotions in this portion. Especially with his eyes. Always the eyes. She really hits home with her analysis of him. You can see it seeping in. Iâm so bummed there isnât a set of this scene. Itâs so so good.
Bringing up how internalizing guilt and shame leads to self directed anger. If that isnât our boy in a sentence. Sweet baby James. The part about self directed anger is this man to a tee. An absolute tee. The way heâs soaking in all her info has me deep in my feels. That guilt she mentioned is pouring out of him in this moment. Along with the shame and anger that is starting to build as well. The anger is because she draws a HARD line in the sand about this eval.
That if she canât tell if he isnât self destructive by EOD sheâs gonna sideline him. How he can keep stonewalling her if he likes but itâs only gonna end in a psych eval. It is a rough way to come at him. But he needs it so badly. Lucy isnât here to knock it into him. So Iâll be forever grateful Blair was. He of course reverts back to S1 Tim when Aaron re-enters. Snaps at him because he canât handle the emotions coursing through him. So he takes it out on poor Aaron. What she said has hit very close to home. Sadly Aaron get the repercussions of that.
We go back to Grey and Lucy talking about Tamara. Their case involves a girl being scooped up from babysitting. Has her worried and Grey can tell. I adore him telling her what sheâs done with Tamara is wonderful. That Lucy showed her unconditional love. The kind that healed her skeptical heart. Made her wanna launch back into the world due to it. Itâs here Lucy circles it back to Tim. With her line about letting people you care about go. How could she not? Itâs consumed all her thoughts for days and days. Grey picks up on it immediately. Asking if theyâre still talking about Tamara?
This launches a Lucy rant of epic proportions. One I donât think Grey is even close to be accustomed to lol She is finally ready to unload the emotional burden on her soul. Her reaction here is just further proof she had no idea why Tim did what he did. Also probably has zero idea he got half his unit killed. Bringing on his episode of self loathing. Which prompted the breakup. Saying she has no idea what happened to them. That she canât stop thinking about it. Girl me too. It consumed a lot of my waking hours in that three week hiatus as well. Only difference is I got to know WHY Tim did it.
It didnât make it less painful but it helped to know the why. This is where Lucy and I are a lot like. Needing to know the why helps me accept things. Otherwise I go insane. Like I stated earlier her defense mechanism is analysis. She was so damn blindsided by this. Her brain hasnât caught up to any possibilities of why. Lucy was left in the dark from 6x05-6x06. Only let in with what I can assume was minimal surface level info about Ray. Otherwise her analysis brain could figure out why he did this if she knew EVERYTHING. If she did know she could cobble together exactly the why behind his reasoning.
Lucy going off saying she thought their relationship was worth more. The 'Unless it is.' haunting her. Haunting us all. I couldn't look at happy gifs for a long time.....She thought what they had was worth more than a cheap cop out. It was very cliched how he put it. Which was intentional I'm sure on the writers part. Made it seem like it was a cheap way out of their relationship. Clearly we know itâs SO much more complex than that. But she doesnât know any of that. Which continues to leave her in the dark and it's painful to watch her struggle with that. I just want to tell her. *screams into a pillow* Instead of having a say in it Tim made the decision for her and it pisses her off.
As it should. It pisses me off. He took her voice and right to an opinion with their breakup. That is something heâs going to have to make up for. Lucy deserved so much better than how that breakup went down. She does deserve to be the one who decides if she wants better. Which she didnât get to. Nor did she want better. That man was IT for her. And she is thought she was the same for Tim. Itâs why her line about struggling with him letting go so easily hurts. Honestly Itâs what adds another layer of tragedy to this whole breakup. The miscommunication even in the breakup itself is unreal. Lucy finishes off her rant perfectly though.
Saying even if she wanted total self destruction it was her damn life. Her friggin decision to make that call. Tim straight robbed her of that. Not only did he but left her holding the emotional bag afterward. Itâs not right and itâs not fair. Our girl deserved so much better than how he handled that breakup. He has a lot to make up for in s7. But he knows that just not right nowâŠGreyâs face to finish off the scene is everything. Knowing she needed to get that off her soul. That this is why he didnât want her riding around solo today. This was a much needed spiral in a safe place. So well done Wade. Our girl needed this.
Blair doesnât even have to wait for an opening in this next scene. Tim jumps in to defend himself about eviscerating Aaron. Saying itâs his style. She continues to read Tim like a frigging book. This is my favorite scene of the episode for him. Just because itâs so telling. Eric is incredibly expressive as she breaks him down. He feels trapped but also canât deny what sheâs telling him. Her assessment is out of the world good.
Another beautiful thing about this scene is she is attacking his problem at it's damaged root. Blair tells him heâs under a lot of stress it's clear. Not just the case though. Saying whatever went down between him and Ray mustâve been real bad for him to lose Metro. To be back on patrol. Tim doing his old move of deflection. Saying how he owns mistakes and moves on. Well he has half of that right⊠Our boy definitely owns his mistakes. Moving on is a whole other issue.
Dr. London is moving in for the kill at this point. Saying but he hasnât moved on. How can he when his whole identity is wrapped up in acting honorably? Damn she has him pegged. If he could truly move on. Be solid in that statement we wouldnât be here. If he could really reconcile with the past he wouldnât have ended it with Lucy. He feels not worthy and very much not honorable enough to be with her. So he cut ties. *sad sigh* Tim cloaks himself in honor then condemns himself when he falls short of it. Which is why he can't move on. Just adds another pebble to his soul as it were.
Blair continues with her spot on assessment. Her guess being that has taken a devastating effect on his self esteem. We know it has. His entire life he hasnât felt worthy or deserving. Has has always had the lowest self esteem about himself. Because mistakes were failure growing up. Mistakes of any kind. Which isn't ok. A healthy and good parents loves you through them. Teaches you there are lessons in mistakes. That itâs not the falling down itâs the not getting back up thatâs failure. This man has been knocked down more times than I can count.
He got up every single time. Which is incredible and grew him to be resilient af. Sadly to Tim itâs the falling down that is failure. He never saw his getting back up as a positive thing. Just saw it as surviving and it was partly. He didn't see the goodness in getting back up because his father never did. He grew up in a household where mistakes were pain. Whether it was physical or emotional it was abuse for said mistake. Didn't matter what it was. So to Tim if he set high standards for himself. If he acted honorably his chances of mistakes or failure would decrease. (In his mind at least)
The problem with that is heâs human. Weâre all human and fall short of expectations. No one set his except him. Hell I just dealt with this writing this review. I set this insane expectation of when I should've been done writing it and I didn't hit it. I was mad at myself for a expectation only I had set. It's the same for Tim. Whenever he fell short of being âhonorableâ in his mind. It dinged his already fractured self-esteem. To the point where he has none. Lucy rebuilt it over the years. But it goes to show you how little he thinks of himself. That Ray coming back toppled all of that. Imploded it really in a matter of days.
She really brings it home here. Her piĂšce de rĂ©sistance as it were. This is where Tim goes from huh? To OhâŠBlair notes itâs why heâs been punishing himself. This catches Tim off guard because heâs truly confused. Like I said earlier I donât know even know Tim knew the deep why of their breakup. He for sure had no idea he was doing this specifically. No doubt in my mind he had zero idea he was punishing himself. I didn't know I was in the story I'm going to use here in a bit.
Now he knew he wasnât worthy. Knew he didnât feel deserving of her love and comfort. Because he had acted so dishonorably. To Tim thereâs no way she could love him after that. He projected 'Rules matter Boot. 'their entire relationship. Long before they got together. To Tim he created this infallible image of himself to her that he fell short of.
One he tried to instill in her as a cop. Yet he failed to do so. He couldnât look at himself let alone make her do as such. That's what he understood about what heâd done. Which is insane cause she met him at his worst and still saw his good heart. But that's a rant for another time and place ha Suffice to say it was standard he was holding himself to that she wasn't. I get this so much it pains me.
Blair soldiers on in her explanation. Letting him know heâs depriving himself of something he loves. Something that brings him joy. I know this tactic all too well. I mentioned this in my mini. But feels appropriate to do so again in terms of relation. I do this myself. Tim and I are very alike it scares me honestly. When I fail at something I punish myself too. I feel Iâm getting better at this. But this story is pre-therapy Caitlin lol.
Anyways I did this with my last job. I wasnât good at it right away. I was close to being fired actually. My leader at the time was confident in my game plan to fix myself. I however was intent on punishing myself for being awful. I was mad I had failed in the first place. Pissed at myself for not being good right away. This clearly being the result of my childhood. Where I wasnât allowed to make mistakes. If I did it resulted in emotional abuse in the form of the silent treatment. So going into adulthood I still held myself to higher standards than anyone ever set for me.
When I fell short of those standards I punished myself. So with this new job I denied myself music. It was something I loved dearly. So in turn until I got my act together I didnât listen to it. Didnât felt I deserved till until I rectified my mistake. My boss found out and told me not to be so hard on myself. That there was no need to punish myself. I hadn't even realized that's what I was doing till she said that. I still was hard on myself but allowed her faith in me to let myself listen to music again. It ended up being what saved me.
This is why I relate so hard to him doing this. Because I did it. My whole life. Tim doesnât even realize till now heâs punishing himself this way. Heâs denied himself his person. What brings him the most constant joy in his life? Lucy. Who is the radiant sunshine that made his life better? Lucy. So. In turn he is denying himself the one person he feels he doesnât deserve. Punishing himself by denying himself her presence, he is simultaneously depriving himself of the happiness their relationship brings him. We know how happy she's made him. The highest form of penance is sacrificing that. Oh my broken boy.
I love her saying 'Or more accurately someone.' She saw what went down at the kit room. How Tim longingly looked at Lucy when she departed. Knows this man is still so in love with her. Itâs obvious he hasnât made this connection himself till she says this. We see it dawning on Tim. Her getting through to him. We watch as this hits Tim square in his chest. Or really his heart. She has struck a deep chord and it shows all over his reaction. Especially in the second gif. Tim is holding back actual tears as it hits him.
Ugh my heart. Damn you Eric. As quickly as he comes to this realization Aaron re enters the car. Tim has to readjust and adapt back to hard ass. Was bummed couldn't fit this in but he struggles with it. Aaron is smart enough not to ask if heâs ok twice⊠I do remember being excited by this scene. Because I felt it would propel him toward therapy. To knowing he needs help. All the signs can be there but you have to see the need for it. I'll be forever grateful to Dr. London for helping him see it.
Lucy spotting Tim and touching her tattoo. Melissa youâre killing me. But also donât stop. I love that you do that. It makes me wanna cry though. Because we all know why she reaches for it. Itâs to remind herself sheâs a survivor. The only problem is that idea came from TimâŠ.That entire grounding exercise is wrapped up in him. So itâs painful she has to now use it about him. Itâs beautifully tragic and subtle.
Which is why it hurts so good. Mostly hurts atm. Until theyâre reconciled anyways. It PAINS me to see how awkward they are with one another. To go from being so damn linked to this disjointed messâŠ.I hate it so much. Eric and Melissa do it so well though. The body language and the nervousness pouring out of them. Lucy wanting to start something but not knowing where to begin. At a loss for words.
Tim doesnât help her at all. Just stands there like an awko taco. That lyric âIâve never been a fighter.â Ringing through the silence. Ugh the music attacking us once again in the best way. This song is so good for this moment. I truly think having listened to it enough times now. Feel itâs Lucy POV with these lyrics. Which Iâll delve into more in the side notes. This entire scene just hurts. Like poking a unhealed wound.
I have to note this gif separately. Said this a lot this ep but damn you Eric. His precious little smile here is killing me softly. Heâs spent the entire ep on pins and needles. Avoiding his feelings. Lashing out at everyone around him. Then being hit with some serious realizations. Then he sees sees Lucy and it appears. That Lucy smile of his. But he forgets he canât be flashing that adorable smile to her anymore. He lost the right to find comfort in her presence when he walked away from them. From her.
The smile also kills me because heâs so in love with her. Look at that man above. Itâs written all over that smile. It hurts to watch. I saw a great tag for this gif. âidk what hurts more his little smile or his shining eyes.â Honestly? Both. They both hurtâŠ.Once again he has no right to be showing her those in love eyes paired with tears. Only hurts her more. Hell itâs killing me. It pains me heâs punishing them both for this spiral. This scene hurts so much but starting out with this smile. *sigh* I'm dying Timothy. You've killed me.
Truly blinded by his own shortcomings at the start of this scene. Thought he could just jump back in there and be normal. That thereâs no way she loved him like he loved her. So she would be more normal and ok after their break up than him. My broken Timothy you hurt my heart on so many levels. Not only that but makes a joke about clocking out. He's nervous in his delivery of it too. Which he should be. He exploded them and is making small talk? Oh Tim. No....
Lucy calls him out instantly for it. I adore her for the stand she takes here. Not only not letting hide in small talk but getting her side in finally. Refusing to let him force normalcy on them when they never had a real talk. An actual adult convo. Insulted he wants to hide in chit chat. No matter the place theyâre in Lucy is always going to tell him like it is. We all know he loves her for it even when it hurts like hell like this scene does.
Lucy reams him like she should. Letting out all the emotions she never got to express. Also what sheâs been stewing on. Telling him what she has been holding onto the past week. Saying how heâs been so concerned with what she deserves. That he BLEW past them even having an adult conversation. Which he most definitely did. Also it saddens me the physical distance in this scene. Theyâre never ever that far apart. Very telling of where they are right know. I hate it.
You can see the discord between just by their physical distance. What kills me is she gives him a chance to rectify it. To have that convo. Tim deflects because the man is no where near ready for that kind of conversation. It reflects in his reply. He only continues to see he isnât worthy of her. You are everything she wants you foolish man. He doesn't have a damn clue with that though. So he continues to push her back. Away from him and his turmoil.
Itâs here Iâm so proud of Lucy. She stands her ground and sets a boundary. Which is not easy BTW. It's insanely hard. Telling Tim he has a lot more to work on that she realized.... That she wishes him good luck with that. But she clearly isnât the person to help him anymore. *heart clutch* My heart is on the ground again. I get it though. She is stepping away from him and how nuclear he is. Itâs such a good boundary to set for herself. For her sanity really.
Another great quote from that book mentioned last ep. âA boundary is our only fighting chance at reclaiming our peace.â Itâs the only way she can regain any semblance of peace. To move on from this and heal. Have couple more that are so appropriate here. âPeople who are irresponsible with our hearts shouldnât be granted great access to them.â Tim hurt her heart so greatly. Betrayed her trust so deeply. This boundary is to protect herself. But also to keep Tim from having the access he once had. It's easy to see he isn't budging so even if it pains her she has to create distance for herself.
Final one âLove can be unconditional but access doesnât have to be.â Lucy still loves that man unconditionally but canât allow him to access her heart anymore. She gave him one last shot and he blew it. So she retreated like she should when he denied her. Does kill me she is clutching her tattoo end of this scene as well. It's what keeps that boundary in place and her feet moving forward. Breaking my heart all over again in an instant. I'll just be sobbing in the corner no big deal...
I was pleasantly surprised when we got another moment in Greyâs office. Thinking that was the end of it. I was hoping against hope Tim wanted to reach out and get help. This scene delivers in spades on that. Tim fully expecting to be mandated therapy. We can see heâs actually disappointed when she has a good review of him. Reporting it wonât affect his work. Iâm glad she did because itâs prompts Tim to advocate for himself in this moment.
To say Iâm proud of him is an understatement. To not only see he has work to do but reach out for the help to accomplish that. The relief this made me feel is immense. Tim says he was expecting her to say he had a lot of work to do on himself. Grey opens the dialogue asking if he does? Tim says he thinks soâŠSuch a huge step for him. I could cry. Hell I was misty when this scene happened. Tim then asks what Grey thinks of him seeing her regularly?
Wade's reply makes me heart so happy. That it takes a lot of courage to ask for help. It really does. There is nothing scarier than asking for help. Especially with your mental health. Men have it easy in a lot of ways IMO. This is not one of them. They are told not to have feelings, or anxiety, god help them if they mental health issues. Tim coming to this place is incredible. This is a milestone scene for his character. I loved the writers tackling mental health this year. For doing it with Tim too. I could cry at how proud I am for him reaching out. For realizing something is amiss and knowing he needs to fix it.
As if this episode wasnât making me cry enough. This final scene with Tamara gets me teary. Other than Tim and Lucy theyâve been my fav. Been beautiful to watch them both grow. It helped Tamara heal her untrusting heart. That unconditional love Lucy gave her never wavered. It helped rebuild her faith in people. In herself. I know it helped Lucy heal from Jackson. To show her to open her heart again after losing him.
They healed one another and it makes me emotional writing about it. Theyâre sisters and family all wrapped up in one. Hard to watch Lucy lose another piece of her life though. Truly hope this pain and loss helps her grow. If there is anything I've learned in therapy is that. Growing through the pain. I hope s7 treats her kindly after this harsh season. Itâll be make all the hurt she goes through so much better. Iâll be fascinated to see how s7 starts for her. How it progresses.
Where sheâs at emotionally and mentally. My heart hurts for her in this season. So very much. I canât even explain the level of ache I feel for Lucy. Our girl deserves the world and more. I hope she explores herself more next season. Tunes into how she doesnât tend to take care of herself. Think she is on a growth journey of her own. It starts here though. Iâll be excited to see how s7 plays out for her. The end. of this scene is funny. Lucy begging her not to tell the car story at dinner LOL
This is gigantic growth right here. Coming here like this. Telling Dr. London that he was thinking on all she said. He is going against his better nature and reaching out. Admitting something is wrong and doing something about it. I know how hard it is to reach a place where you do this. Whatâs so beautiful about this development is Tim seeing he needs help. It's why he's here. He can feel something inside him is broken. He doesnât know how to fix it so he is reaching out to someone who does. Tim can tell something is wrong and just wants to fix it.
To understand why and to get better. It is not a light decision to start therapy. It really isnât. I ran away from my feelings for years. Damn near a decade really. Made light of the abuse I had growing up. Would crack jokes about it even. Because that was my defense mechanism. It was easier than dealing with what really happened to me. Ignoring how emotionally unstable and imbalanced I was due to it. I spent most of my 20s running away from help. From therapy. When it was brought up to me I would shoot it down like Tim. Call it nonsense and how I didnât need it. I was also like Tim (Still am. WIP over here) and wrapped my identity up in the same stuff.
Being so fucking harsh on myself it was unreal. I still struggle with giving myself grace. I feel Iâve gotten better but itâs still a daily battle. Itâs hard to explain the feeling you get when you know you canât out run your demons anymore. There is just something that goes off inside you like an alarm. It tells you it doesnât feel right, that you donât know how to fix it, but it is time you ought to. All I know is it is different for everyone. What set me off is very different from Timâs. His was a past mistake that came with a side of buried trauma.
Mine was a kind comment meant to make me feel good. Also some buried trauma. I was helping this sweet old lady who was a client of mine. She noted the earrings I was wearing and said they were nice. Told her my mom gave them to me with no emotion in my tone. Iâll never forget the sweet look in her eyes as she told me âYour mother must love you very much.â What shouldâve been a nice comment was a huge trigger for me. My mother is some of my deepest seated trauma. It set me off like nothing ever has before.
Her saying that unlocked this pandoras box of emotions. One I spent nearly a decade suppressing. I got into my car afterward and cried. I texted my sister telling her I think it was time I got help. I felt something was wrong. Wrong enough to do something about it. My repressed emotions had clawed to the surface for air. I couldnât ignore them anymore. I had to get help. Something was broken and I needed the help to fix it. So that brings us back to Tim in this moment. To why he is standing here right now before Dr. London.
He tells her she is right. That he is mad at himself. We can see the realization just wash over Tim. Like heâs opening his eyes for the first time in forever. We can also see the disappointment on his face when she says tomorrow. He is wanting to talk about this right then and there. Iâm same way (shock surprise I know.) Blair sees this and asks if itâs an emergency? Tim doing what he does best says no. Trying to do the âhonorableâ and not burden her with his needs. Because itâs easy to see yourself as a burden to everyone when youâve been treated like one most of your life.
Itâs what makes Tim digging deep and saying no I need this now below so massive. Watching him advocate for himself *sigh* I wanna cry. Because this scene is HUGE for him. I remember thinking to those who were hating on him at the time. If you canât grasp how groundbreaking this is. You donât get his character at all. Nor have you ever struggled with mental health issues or asking for help. Anyone who was nasty about his mental health made me so mad. To be that cold and insensitive meant to me you were emotionally immature yourself. I'll die on that hill happily.
If you need help understanding Tim in this moment or this episode please use my experience. What happened with me and what it took to bring me to therapy. Because they are similar. That is this man in this moment. Realizing Ray resurfaced all his demons. They came up for air and werenât going away this time. Just like mine. This is Timâs âCome to Jesusâ moment in regard to his mental health. Heâs standing here because everything Dr. London told him rang true. Hit a chord inside him it was time to get right.
The thing is he doesnât know how to handle it. Which is why he is reaching out like this. I do wanna say Lucy got him to a better place for him to do this. S1 Tim wouldnât have reacted this way to Dr. London. Not at all. I donât wanna forget the impact sheâs had on him. But this is not Lucyâs problem to fix. She even stated that in their scene together. She is not the one which sucks. But this is not her journey to be on. A healing journey is a very personal and vulnerable thing. Itâs one you have to do by yourself. (And with your therapist)
My friends and family helped prep me for mine. Iâm so grateful for that. To get me to place where I could see I needed the help. But it was up to ME to take that first step. That's what this scene represents for Tim. Taking that ever so painful and scary first step into healing. Tim can see the work he has to do and that is progress. I truly truly hope he continues therapy in s7.
Despite Blair. Iâm so excited they went this path with him. Didnât just try and fix them and gloss over the fact he needs help. Appreciate the proper care they took with this SL. It also may not have felt like it at the time. But itâs paving a path of healing for them in the future. Timâs head right will be best for them when they heal and reunite. Phew This was a doozy to tackle. I hope you all enjoyed it. And those who didnât read my mini can see Timâs POV and the WHY of everything. As Iâve said many times it is not to excuse but to explain.
Side Notes-Very Much Chenford
This will be Chenford related . I wanted a section to go over this glorious song 'The Ventura Exit.' Just wasn't room in the review to do it. So I'm doing it my side notes. More I listened to it the more it was perfect for this episode. Especially with what Lucy's is going through. It feels very much from her POV. The lyrics hit so much and have to be acknowledged IMO. First couple are just angsty musings from the song. They clearly aren't canon but evoked these thoughts in me. Others felt more canon driven.
"The first night I woke up four times on your side of the bed." This lyric could be said of the both of them. But this makes me think of her reaching out to his side in middle of the night. You know she probably still had on and off nightmares about DOD. Reaching out to him being a default for her. I could see that first night of their breakup this happening. This song put stuff in my head I had to get out lol
"Fighting muscle memory expecting a hand to be there when I reach out. Taking the Ventura exit to your house." This song is playing through out the rest of the episode. You can hear the lyrics if you really listen. I'm sure she fought the auto pilot to his house during that week as well. I know we only see them at her place but you know she was over there a lot too. Probably had her own drawer and all that. "I donât hate you, but the more I think on it you let me down (You couldnât see me. You stopped believing)" This encapsulates everything in this episode for Lucy. She doesn't hate him but he let her down SOOO much. He couldn't see her in their fight. He stop believing in them. Believing in her. So heartbreaking how perfect this song is. I wanna cry. "I miss you, I miss you, Iâll never forgive you. I wish I was with you I miss you I miss you Iâll always forgive you." I loved it ending on this lyric. Starts out with anger and never forgiving then it does. Because that is true of Lucy. She misses him so much but is so damn angry with him. But wishes she was with him. Which is why the ending lyric being that gets. me in the feels. We know she'll always forgive him. She loves this man too much not too.
I believe that's what we'll see in s7. Especially with him working on himself. That and giving her whatever doses she allows for him to show how much she means to him. This lyric made me hopeful for the first time since 6x05. If you don't have this song I highly recommend buying it. Not only is is perfect for this episode and them. It's just a REALLY good song. You can listen to it in full in the link I posted though. Thank you for all the likes, comments ( I LOVE comments don't be shy ha ) and reblogs. You are the reason I do these. I shall see you in 6x08 :)
#Caitlin Rewatches The Rookie#chenford#chenford hiatus#waiting on s7#is it January yet?#fall rewatch#s6#6x07 Crushed#the rookie 6x07#otp: doing my job#otp: you know me so well. too well#otp: some things matter more.#otp: you did good#otp: you're nothing like them#otp: just doesn't feel like pretend#otp: unless it is#otp: you could never disappoint me#the rookie#tim x lucy#tim bradford#lucy chen#lucy x tim#eric winter#melissa o'neil#tim bradford x lucy chen
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Weekend Plans
Jason Todd x Reader
Masterlist - Join My Taglist!
Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)
Fandom: DC
Summary: Jason's SO finds out that he's the Red Hood in some sub-optimal circumstances.
Word Count: 1,639
Category: Fluff, Humor, Angst
Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.
I sighed as I turned out the bathroom light and headed for bed. Today had been a long day, and I couldn't wait to get some sleep.
Normally, after particularly tiring days (which happened more often than I'd like as an ER doctor), I'd text my boyfriend or vice versa and he'd come over with our favorite foods, the two of us leaning against each other on the couch and watching our favorite shows until we eventually passed out. Unfortunately, he had to work tonight. We'd made plans to make up for it this weekend instead, but tonight I was on my own.
I climbed under the covers and turned out my light, and I was almost all the way asleep when the sound of my window opening dragged me back awake. That window was always lockedâmaybe I was hearing things?
Thump. A heavy sound like someone hitting the floor came from right next to my bed. No way I'd imagined that.
Slowly, I eased open my eyes, too scared to move an inch. It was hard to make things out as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, until my heart almost stopped dead in my chest.
The Red Hood was laying on my carpet, flat on the floor, his feet still caught on the windowsill he'd just crawled over.
My mind raced. What the hell was he doing here? And what the hell was I supposed to do about it? Most of what I'd heard about the Red Hood painted him as the protector of the most vulnerable people in the worst parts of Gothamâbut then why had he just broken into my apartment?
My racing train of thought was derailed as the vigilante groaned and shifted on the carpet. He rolled over until he was facing me, the eyes of his helmet providing the only source of light in the room. I froze, stiff as a board, my heart threatening to beat all the way out of my chest. What was he going to do?
Slowly, two gloved hands reached up towards his helmet. He must've pushed a buton, because I heard a hiss and a click before he moved to take his helmet off.
"Wait-" I said, starting to sit up in bed at last. I had no idea what was happening, but the Red Hood revealing his identity to me didn't seem like a good omen for anything. The vigilante ignored me though, and a moment later I froze all over again, sitting on the edge of my bed as I took in his face.
Jason Todd. My boyfriend, the man I'd finally worked up the courage to say "I love you" to a few weeks ago. Laying on my floor after breaking in through my window as Red Hood.
"Y/N..." He groaned my name, and all the shock was putshed out by immediate concern for whatever had him laying on the floor of my room like this. I stood, pulling his legs the rest of the way thorugh the window and shutting it, then dropped to my knees on the floor next to him.
"Jason..." I breathed. "What happened?"
"I... got shot. I didn't have anywhere else to go, I couldn't think of anywhere else I could make it to..."
My eyes scanned his body again, this time with a little less shock clouding my vision. He had a wound in his side, the one against the ground, and it was currently leaking blood onto my rug. I swore.
"Jason, is anybody following you? The person who shot you, or anyone with them?"
Jason groaned and shook his head.
"I made sure they weren't. I couldn't risk leading them back to you."
"Okay. Just stay right here, I'll be right back."
I jumped up and hustled into the hall to grab my first kit. I tried to focus on taking deep breaths as I flipped the lights on and returned to Jason, dropping to my knees next to him.
"Okay, Jay, I'm gonna roll you over, alright?"
"Yeah," he managed to grind out.
Working together, it didn't take long to get Jason on his back. I quickly pulled up his shirt to get a look at the wound, and about half the tension eased out of my shoulders. The entry and exit wounds were clean, and it didn't look like it had hit anything serious, although the blood loss from exerting himself running all over the city before he got to me certainly wasn't good.
"Alright, this isn't as bad as I worried it might be. As long as you get some rest, you should heal up fine. Do you think you can make it to the bathroom if I help? It'll be easier to get you cleaned up in there."
Jason nodded, taking a couple deep breaths as he did.
"Yeah. Yeah, I think I can."
"Okay. Nice and easy, let's go."
Jason was so tall and so heavy, but between his sheer grit and the last of my adrenaline, we managed to get into the bathroom together. I eased him down on the edge of the tub, then paused before pulling back.
"Do you think you can keep yourself upright here? Or do we need to get you laying down?"
Jason took a few deep breaths in and out, his hands clutching the edge of the tub. Then, he finally looked up at me.
"I'm good."
I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Really? Because this is not the time for bullshit macho nonsense-"
"Sweetheart, I promise. I'm good. Or at least I will be, as long as you get me stitched up."
I sighed. "So I take it that means you're not gonna let me call 9-1-1 and get you to a hospital?"
"No. I get anywhere near one, and I'll either be arrested or dead before I'm all the way healed."
"Great. Then I guess we're doing this."
I took a deep breath and tried to steel myself for the procedure about to come. All of this was just about the last thing I wanted to deal with after the day I'd had. Jason hurt, relying on me to help him, and apparently the man behind the masked vigilante Red Hood. But I could deal with all of that later. After Jason was stable.
I left my apartment and emotions behind as I got into the zone dealing with Jason. He was tough as nails all through the process, although this actually probably wasn't his first gun shot. Finally, I finished and the bleeding stopped. I sat back against my bathroom cabinet with a heavy sigh and just looked at Jason.
"What... the actual... fuck?" I breathed. All the things I'd shoved aside to cope with the crisis were officially rushing back in. Jason huffed a laugh and shook his head, then slowly eased himself off the edge of the tub. I narrowed my eyes at him. "If you pop one of your stitches, I swear-"
"I won't, I'm not going far."
He settled in on the floor next to me, shoulder to shoulder, then sighed.
"I'm sorry about this. For just showing up, and... for how you just found everything out."
I sighed. "Jay, you know I've never minded you just showing up. But... were you ever going to tell me? Like, if you didn't have to tell me because you got shot... would I ever have found out that you're secretly the Red Hood?"
"Of course I was going to tell you," Jason said, his voice a low rumble. "I love you, I'd never keep something like that from you forever. I was just... trying to figure out how to do it. I mean seriously, how the hell was I supposed to start that conversation?"
A tired smile made its way onto my face, and I leaned a bit into Jason.
"How about 'knock knock, who's there? Me, the Red Hood. That's right, I've got something to tell you'."
Jason snorted, his hand immediately flying to the wound in his side as he fought back a laugh. I just grinned.
"Yeah, it's a really good thing you're not the one with the secret identity to disclose."
"Mmm, I don't know, I think there's something to my approach. Or how about 'what has two thumbs and-'"
"Okay, you have to stop. I'm gonna pop a stitch if you keep going."
"Well, lucky for you, you're dating a doctor."
"Lucky for me I'm dating you. Seriously, I half expected you to scream and run out of the room when you saw me."
"After the day I had at the hospital? I wouldn't have the energy for that kind of panic, honestly."
Jason huffed a laugh and wrapped one arm aorund my shoulders.
"Sorry for adding to the length of that day."
"It's okay, Jay." I sighed and turned to face him, just managing enough energy to smile. "I'm always happy to see you, and even though this obviously wasn't the ideal way for me to find out... I'm glad I know about this part of your life now."
"Me too."
I met his gorgeous blue eyes, the ones the mask had hidden from me at first, and smiled. Jason's expression mirrored my own, and a moment later, he was leaning forward, closing the gap between us with a glance at my lilps. I helped him close the rest of the distance, his soft lips gently finding mine. We stayed like that for a few seconds, until I finally pulled back.
"We should go to bed, Jay."
Jason grinned at me. "Happily, sweetheart."
"Not like that," I said, rolling my eyes and giving him a light smack in the arm. "Not while you're recovering from a bullet wound."
Jason sighed dramatically, and I couldn't hold back a laugh.
"Fine. Help me get to bed then?"
"Of course. And tomorrow, after we've slept in past noon, I'll make us some breakfast and you can answer my million questions about all this Red Hood shit."
"And then I can help you clean the blood off your bedroom floor."
"Sounds like the perfect weekend plan."
****************
Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989
#sophie's year of fic#dc#jason todd#jason todd x reader#dc fanfiction#dc oneshot#dc imagine#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd imagine#jason todd oneshot#red hood#red hood x reader#red hood fanfiction#red hood oneshot#red hood imagine#dc x reader#dc universe#dcu#the red hood#jason peter todd
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Sunset & Vine
PART ONE | PART TWO
SYNOPSIS: one year was all you had, and the winners of the previous hunger games. You didnât know them that well, but they were still youre only friends. Now youâre thrown back into the Games with some new confusing feelings.
FANDOM: The Hunger Games
PAIRING(S): Peeta Mallark x Victor!Reader
RATING: G
CHARACTERS MENTIONED: Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy, Coriolanus Snow, Johanna Mason, Finnick Odair, Effie Trinket, President Coin, Gale Hawthorne
GENRE/AU: Dystopia, Angst, a very small amount of comfort,
WORD COUNT: 5.2k
WARNINGS: Katniss is slightly OOC, Canon divergent in some ways but not others, CATCHING FIRE AND MOCKINGJAY SPOILERS, Reader won the 74th hunger games and Peeta and Katniss won the 73rd.
A/N: Jjj, Iâve really got to stop writing stories with ending like this. Lemme know if you want part two. FYI!!! Changed a few words that completely changed the context and set up for the next part.
DEDICATIONS: Peeta my beloved
CREDITS: Taylor Swift for the name (Gorgeous - Taylor Swift)
Itâs a woman, standing with her back to youâ she has similar hair to yours and an almost protective stance to her. A haze of colour surrounds her⊠oranges, purples and yellows swirled into an indescribable but beautiful mess.
Peeta Mellark may be a fellow victor, and he may be one of your neighbours, but you know nothing about him. Except for this beautiful painting that he gifted you.
She wears a dress that flows in some sort of assumed breeze, and has a hand tentatively braced in her hair; thereâs something so familiar about this scene that you canât placeâ something familiar about the woman in particular.
You canât place it.
You run your fingers along the small note that Peeta had left with the painting, hovering over the loopy cursive of his signature; itâs the same on the painting but itâs too beautiful to touch like that.
Last year, you won the seventy-fourth annual hunger games, and became a legend for getting district twelve two wins in a rowâ right alongside Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, Who won the seventy-third hunger games.
Thank god the months of parading you around were over and you could settle happily into your gigantic house by yourself.
Well, happily might be an over statementâ you had no family, and certainly no friends⊠unless Haymitch counts but you donât think he does.
So this painting feels extra specialâ a warmth in an otherwise cold and unfamiliar home.
âWhere should I put it?â Muttering to yourself, you mentally scan the layout of your house; youâd want it to be in a place where you could see it often, but also somewhere where any house guest would be able to see it⊠yeah. House guests.
After shaking your head uselessly, you settle on hanging it in the entryway. For sure people would see it there.
Youâd been putting off doing this for a couple of days, just because you hadnât had a whole lot of energy to do anything but sit in a chair and half-read a novel.
So, after a few minutes of fiddling and messy calculations, the painting is hung in the entryway.
You take one last glance at the swirling coloured background once more, and then turn away, leaving the comfort and fantasy behind.
âŠâŠ
Victors are supposed to have immunity, theyâre supposed to be done with the games for the rest of their miserable, trauma ridden lives.
But the seventy-fifth hunger games brings back all of the worst parts of last yearâ you know that out of the three other victors, youâre the female they want to get picked. Youâre the easy decision, the loner that nobody cares about.
You know the Capitol loves Peeta and Katniss far too much, and you, not enough.
This, stacked on top of everything else the Capitol has put you through⊠itâs too much.
Youâre pulled from your thoughts when thereâs a knock at your door.
âHello?â You say as you open it; Peeta Mellark is standing there with his lip turned down just slightly, his eyes center behind you for a moment before his face softens and lightens.
âHey. You got the painting.â A smile melts onto his face, and you swear he looks⊠beyond words when he smiles.
After a long moment of silence, you clear your throat. âWhat brings you hereâŠ?â You stammer awkwardly, cringing at your choice of words.
He sort ofâ laughs? Chuckles? at you. âWeâre talking strategy for the Quarter Quell and we figured we should include you.â His face falls again, and he looks like heâs holding something back.
Your back straightens. âThe Quarter Quell isnât for another few monthsââ
He nods slowly. âBut weâre going to have to do the pre-tour⊠and theyâre pulling names in just a couple weeks.â
The band around his ring finger gleams brightly in the sun, which sends some sort of jealous feeling rolling through you.
You shake your head because you donât know Peeta Mellark, and, even if he is gorgeous, you donât get crushes on people you donât know.
Plus heâs in love and engaged to Katniss Everdeen, even if you did know him well enough to develop a crush.
He glances down, and then quickly yanks the ring off. âItâs, uhâ just for the cameraâs.â Then he gestures to the painting behind you. âThatâs you, you know. I know youâve never worn a dress like that, but I saw a screencap of you in The Games and inspiration just kind of⊠hit me.â he trails off at the end and fiddles with the ring in his hand.
âItâs⊠me?â You say slowly. âWe barely know each other, why would you paint me?â
He takes a small breath. âYouâre really beautiful, Y/n, Iâve always thought so.â
A breath hitches but you genuinely canât discern if itâs him or you over the roaring of blood in your ears.
âSoâŠâ he starts again. âIf you want to join us, weâre heading over to Haymitchâs now.â
âOkay.â You say, sounding more winded than you did before; you stare at him for a few more moments before you step out of the front door and shut it.
You walk silently beside him, trying not to take in his messy blonde hair or pretty blue eyesâand also, failing miserablyâ
Just as you reach Haymitchâs doorstep, you stop and tug on Peetaâs sleeve to get his attention. âItâs the most beautiful thing Iâve ever seen, Peeta.â
He looks down at you, the air around you charged with some kind of something that you canât name, and just as heâs about to reach over to you, the door swings open.
âWhy are you guys just standing out here?â Katniss says with her nose scrunched, she eyes you up and then eyes Peeta up in a similar fashion.
At least it wasnât exclusively you.
Both your heads snap toward her, while Peeta smoothly comes up with a reason. âY/n was feeling nervous, I was just trying to help calm her nerves.â
Haymitch raises an eyebrow from behind Katniss, and gives Peeta a look.
âHey, Sweetheart.â He says, as Katniss steps aside and lets the two of you in. Thereâs a tenderness to his voice that you hadnât realized you missed so much.
âHi.â The three of you shuffle into what you think was once a living room but itâs chillingly messy in Haymitchâs house.
âCouldnât we have done this at someone elseâs house?â Peeta says, eying the empty bottles on the floor.
âNo.â Katniss shakes her head, shooting Haymitch a glare. âBecause everytime we have to talk to him, we have to wake him up with a bucket of water.â
You snort. âIâm sorryâ a bucket of water?â
Haymitch cuts in. âWhy do you think my hairâs wet? I definitely didnât take a shower.â There's a water stain that makes his shirt sag, and you wonder how you didnât notice before. Haymitch clears his throat. âMoving on; if itâs Katniss and Peeta then we can still milk the whole star-crossed lover thingâ if itâs me or Y/n⊠that wonât work.â
âY/n shouldnât go.â Peeta interjects; youâre taken aback by it.
You fidget with the hem of your shirt. âI really thought I was the best person to go.â You pause, looking up at the three of them. âItâs not like thereâs anyone here that will care if I donât come home.â
Haymitch gives Peeta a scrutinizing look. âLook, Lover-boy, we know you have a crush but that isnât enough for Katniss to volunteer herself if Y/n gets picked.â
Peeta looks to you and then back to Haymitch. âKatniss and I are the Capitolâs favourite couple right now, if we went weâd probably be much better off in terms of sponsors and parachutes.â
âAnd you donât want her to go.â Haymitch gestures in yours and Katnissâs direction.
Peeta sighs but doesnât deny it. It makes sense that he wouldnât want his fiancĂ© to go back to the Games.
âPeeta is right,â Katniss starts, âbut, Haymitch, if you get picked⊠Peeta should stay. Either way.â
Peeta shakes his head. âNo. Iâm not staying.â
You cut in. âThereâs no good reason why I should stay.â Youâre basically the only clear answer; if you get picked youâll go, and, if Katniss is picked, youâll go. âI wonât.â
Now all three of them are staring at you. âIf I get picked, Katniss canât volunteer and if she gets picked, you canât stop me from volunteering.â
Katniss huffs. âYou canât stop me from volunteering either.â
Really, you could all argue this for hours.
âŠ..
The four of you had never come to a conclusion, and now itâs the day of the Reaping.
Effie stands uncomfortably at the bowl; she doesnât seem happy about having to pull your names, despite her chipper facade.
âThe female tribute for District Twelve isâŠâ she says, digging around in the two slips of paper in the bowl. She finally pulls one out and reluctantly reads it out. âY/n L/n.â She almost sighs your name.
Katnissâs fingers twitch nervously, like she wants to say something but you shoot her the strongest glare you can muster.
She doesnât volunteer, and youâre glad for it.
You walk up to the stage, head held high; you know this is the start of the end of your life, so you might as well act more confident than you truly are.
Effie looks at you sadly once youâre settled behind her, and then turns back to the audience. âAnd⊠the male tribute for District Twelve is,â she spends another five minutes routing through the two names. âHaymitch Abernathy.â This time her sigh is one of relief.
But the relief does not last long.
âI volunteer!â Peeta says, stepping forward; Haymitch grabs his arm and says something too quiet to hear, and Peeta says something back. His face is full of determination as everyone watches him walk up the stage and stand next to you.
Everyone in your little group wears a look of defeat. Even you.
Only one of you can go home, and youâre going to do your damn best to make sure itâs Peeta Mellark.
âŠ..
âIâm not ready for this.â You say quietly, as you walk down the corridor to your bedrooms on the train. âItâs hardly been a year, Peeta.â
He nods solemnly, not looking at you as you arrive at your door. His is just across the hall.
Peeta gently takes your hand in his and squeezes. âI know. Itâs too soon.â He looks angry. âWe were never supposed to have to do this again.â He drops your hand before you can reciprocate in any sort of way.
You do feel a little less nauseous though.
âItâs okay.â You whisper, twitching your fingers and slapping it onto the doorknob. âItâll be okay.â
Peetaâs eyes rove over you in a scrutinizing manner as though heâs trying to figure some meaning behind your words, but there isnât one to figure.
Just that it will be okay. Peeta will, if you really just be specific. Peeta will return home, happy and safe.
Ready to live his life with the woman he loves⊠Katniss.
And you will fade into false glory and distant memory.
âŠ..
âFinnick, Right?â You fidget with your fingers in front of you; Finnick Odair was an attractive man who oozed with confidence and smooth words.
âWant a sugar cube?â He asks slyly, holding one out to you. âThey're supposed to be for the horses butâ weâre going to die anyway, it wonât matter after that.â
You nod carefully. âOf course, because that would obviously matter if we werenât already set for death.â You still take the sugar cube from his hand and pop it in your mouth.
You almost gag from it. Pure sugar was⊠a lot. âUgh. Thatâs disgusting.â
Finnick chuckles. âBut liberating.â
You shake your head but a smile still spreads across your face. âLiberating indeed, Finnick Odair. My last act of rebellion is eating a sugar cube.â
âDevastating, really. To the Capitol, I mean.â He smiles easily at you, before someone catches his attention and he saunters off.
Claudius Templesmith stood not far from you, crooning about something with one of the older tributes.
The older manâ Betee, you thinkâ stood, looking indifferent but also invested in Claudiusâs ramblings and unnecessary questions.
You were dreading the questions heâd ask you during your second round of interviews.
The last time was time enough for you.
âWhatâd he want?â Peeta asks, walking up behind you and pulling your attention away from the other party-goers.
âOh, you know,â you say flippantly, âsugarcubes, secrets, and sarcasm.â
Peetaâs eyebrows furrow in confusion but the smile remains on his face. âSounds like an interesting conversation.â He extends his arm to you. âShall we?â
You sigh. âNot like we have much choice.â
âŠ.
âIâd give anything to know whatâs going on inside your head.â Peeta says softly, fidgeting with the rope in his hands. Youâd both decided that learning how to tie some knots would be beneficial.
You chuff, an awkward laugh. âWhat do you mean?â
His fingers work steadily, and somewhat clumsily, with the rope; thereâs something alluring about how sure he can be with his hands.
It makes you think of the painting in your houseâ the one that youâll never see againâ how patient he mustâve been to complete such a beautiful piece, how still and sure of himself.
âWhat are you thinking right now, Y/n?â He looks up at you, with those beautiful blue eyes of his.
You shrug. âI was thinking aboutâŠâ you trail off, because you absolutely cannot say that you were thinking about his hands. A half-truth will have to do. âYour painting. How Iâll never see it again.â
Hip lips pull into a frown. âYouâll see it again, Iâm going to make sure of it.â
Sighing deeply, you stand. âYouâre the one who has to go home, Peeta, not me.â He opens his mouth to speak but you cut him off. âIt has to be you.â
âŠ.
You donât have the time to argue about it for the next couple of days, you hardly even see each other.
Now, Cinna is preparing you for the arena. You know that everything he gave was meant for Katniss, he had obviously expected it to be her, or that he wouldnât style you.
He hadnât been your stylist, but yours had opted out of this yearâs games, claiming it was too painful to watch you go back in.
You hadnât liked her much the first time around, wanted to change you too much in ways that you most definitely did not like.
Cinna, though, you liked him. Though this would be the last time you saw him.
You were dressed in whatever mandatory suit that they designed for this game, a skin tight suit that looked like you were about to go scuba diving.
âItâs time.â Cinna says, glancing back to the tube at the back of the room. You turn back to it.
âThank you, Cinna.â You say, bowing your head for him. âIt was nice getting to know you.â
He smiles half-heartedly. âIt was a pleasure, Y/n.â
You exchange a final goodbye and step into the tube. The sixth second countdown begins as the tube starts to ascend.
It's all water, just water and water and water in a large circle around them. There was also thin sand bars that connected the tubes and the Cornucopia, but you knew you wouldnât be braving that.
Peeta stands three tubes down, with a morphling, a Career and Johanna between you two.
Twenty seconds.
You stare at him desperately, hoping heâll stick to the plan and swim towards you; you catch his eyes and he smiles reassuringly. Itâs not a genuine smile but it still calms you all the same.
Ten seconds.
You ball your fists, clenching hard.
Nine.
Eight.
God, itâs going to be difficult to get out of the water.
Seven.
Six.
Youâre not the strongest swimmer, maybe you should go to the Cornucopia.
Five.
Four.
And itâs a long way to swim, even for someone who does know how. Only experienced swimmers, like Finnick, would have an easy time of it.
Three.
Two.
Then, it occurs to you, maybe those sandbars go all the way to the shore; if you get to the Cornucopia, Grab, well, anything, and then flee via the sandbars, you just might be okay.
One.
The pads everyone stands on recede into the water and dumps everyone straight in.
It makes you realize that most of your competitors do not know how to swim.
Peeta is just barely floating thanks to the bright purple belt that had been strapped around all your waists.
You know how to swim at least a little bit , so you unbuckle yours and swim over to him; once it inflates fully, you give it to him and try to drag him towards the sandbars.
It dawns on you all over again that Peeta is a tall guy, and heâs not exactly small either.
Heâs strong and his weight definitely shows that; he tries to keep himself afloat but ends up making it worse.
Eventually, you make it over there, and he pulls himself up onto the loose sand; it takes a bit of effort because itâs slippery and keeps moving under your weight.
Itâs barely stable enough to be a viable option. Just barely.
You leave him there for a minute and swim to the cornucopia. There's fighting going on on its small platform, but you just snag a small waterproof bag that sits a few yards away; a knife comes flying in your direction, and knicks your face.
The salt of the water stings as it mingles with blood.
When you spin back towards Peeta, heâs struggling and Finnick is approaching him.
You race back as fast as you can.
Finnick already has some pretty gnarly weapons strapped to him.
Youâre about to draw the knife on him when shakes his head. âRelax, Y/n, Iâm saving his ass.â Then he lifts a hand out of the water and flashes some sort of bracelet at you.
Itâs the alliance bracelets that Haymitch had mentioned.
Oh.
âI-âyou start, but you never really had a sentence to begin with.
You just lag silently behind as Finnick helps Peeta to the shore. The closer you get to the shore, the wider the sandbars get, and the sturdier they are as well.
Until they're eventually higher than the water, and wide enough for both Peeta and yourself to walk side by side.
You collapse onto the sand when you finally reach the shore and stay there for only a second.
Thatâs all you have before the three of you are up and running into the forest in front of you.
âŠ.
When Peetaâs heart stops, you're sure that yours does tooâ youâre sure that, as you stand there in a state while Finnick tries to resuscitate Peeta, youâre also unresponsive and silent. Dead.
True enough, in a way.
The longer you stare at Peetaâs face, still twisted in pain from the shock, the more you feel like dropping to the ground and sobbing.
You tried to imagine the way he painted with camouflage training stuff, drawing intricate designs onto both his and one of the morhplingâs arms.
It had washed off by the next morning but you had spent the whole night longing to touch it, run your fingers along his arm, trace the shapes and swirls.
Beyond the paintings, you recalled his magnetic smile and the way he always made you feel safe and calm, the steady air that he radiated.
You werenât ready for him to die, he was the one who was supposed to win this, after all. You had resolved that Peeta Mellark was going to be the winner of the 75th Hunger Games and you were going to do whatever you needed to to make that happen. You were even prepared to turn into somebody you werenât, just to make sure Peeta went home. Or at least, you thought you could if you had to come to it.
But now, youâre ready to give up. Finnick or Johanna could winâ and they should. Literally anyone else but you. Everyone who had a life now that Peeta is gone.
Youâre just about to collapse to the ground when Peeta starts to cough erratically, and he manages to sit straight up.
âPeeta!â You cry as you fall to the ground next to him, and wrap your arms around his neck. He seems disoriented for a moment before he hugs you back, right. âI really thought you were gone.â
He gently strokes your back, as you fuss over him, double checking that heâs okay and checking his burn.
âŠ..
You hear a loud sickening crack from somewhere else in the arena that makes everyone but Johanna and Finnick jump. You feel Peetaâs hand wrap around you protectively and pull you closer to him in the single instant that youâre all reacting to the noise.
It takes a few delayed seconds before each one of you realizes that itâs just the lightning in 12, before you realize just how having Peetaâs hands on you makes you feel.
His fingers slip from your waist, brushing softly as they fall away and leaving you feeling just slightly feral.
You pull yourself away, and dig your nails into your thigh to ground yourself. Getting used to this clock thing was going to be agonizing.
Youâre waiting patiently as the lot of youâ You, Peeta, Finnick, Johanna and Beeteeâ come up with a plan to take down the force field and take out the Careers at the same time.
You can barely focus on the conversation because you itch to have Peetaâs hands on you again, to feel his fingers against your skin again.
In fact thereâs so many things youâd like to say and do with Peeta that you know you will never have the chance to; not to mention that he is in love with someone else and would never be interested in any of those things with you anyways.
Youâre pretty sure youâd been staring at Peeta but you only notice because Finnick shoots a look at youâ you canât tell exactly what heâs thinking but it must be something about that.
You try to zone back into the plan.
âŠ.
Trying to trap the careers failed miserably, and the person most experienced with a bow was you, but only thanks to Katnissâs training.
Everything was a blur as the force field came down; chaos, fire everywhereâ you couldnât see or hear Peeta.
You worried about him and you laid pathetically on the ground, half out of your mind. You wondered if he was having trouble with his prosthetic leg, or having run from Enobaria or one of the other careers. You wondered if heâd make it out okay, even though it was obvious you wouldnât.
You wondered and worried for what felt like forever until an airship appeared above you.
Great. You thought, the Capitol has come to torture you and everyone youâve ever loved until the couldnt anymore and all of you was nothing more than a shell of a person. Until the only option was avox or death.
You canât move, or fight it as the giant claw, scoops you up.
All that effort and you still managed to condem each and everyone of you to torture.
âŠ..
âRelax, Y/n!â Haymitch snaps, as Finnick restrains you.
Katniss sits on the other side of the table, looking just as devastated as you.
âWhat do you mean, you didnât get Peeta? You canât just leave him there, theyâll hurt him worse than any of us could ever imagine!â You say, still struggling to get away from Finnick.
Katniss actually argues in your favour. âI did say I would only do this thing if you got both her and Peeta.â
Plutarch, the game maker shakes his head redundantly. âPeeta and Johanna were just to far away for us to locate before the Capitols airships came; Iâm sorry, weâll get them back eventually.â
Finnick finally lets you go once youâve calmed down. He has a solemn look on his face. âIâm sure theyâve got Annie too. We need to save them as soon as possible.â
âŠ.
As soon as possible turns into several weeks, several heartbreakingly, agonizingly long weeks.
You canât help but think about Peeta every moment of every day . You imagine all the terrible things Snow is doing to him, you wish it was you in his place.
Peeta was the one person who never deserved any of this, over anyone else. You and Katniss had been willing to do whatever you needed to to survive, youâd done things maybe you werenât particularly proud of. But Peeta? He had never let the Games change him.
He had always been the same.
Safe, steady, comfortable, strong.
You donât even have any hope that theyâre showing him any mercy.
They arenât.
You know now, you know by the way that last interview they aired wentâ how he was struck just as the cameras shut off, how your heart broke when you looked into his eyes, when you saw just how much theyâd hurt him already.
You were just about ready to burst into Coinâs office and tell her that you were getting Peeta now, regardless of the consequences to Thirteen.
Gale and Katniss were fighting a lot lately, tension was heavy between them; and not in a good way. You didnât know Gale well, but the comments he made about Peeta made your skin crawl and your hands itch to throw a few punches.
Actually they were arguing now, about Peeta, and you were listening.
Galeâs head snaps to you randomly and he barks at you; âand you! Why the hell are you so invested in Bread Boy?â
You startle for a moment, but then narrow your eyes. âWhat do you mean why am I invested? Heâs myâ friend.â You say, sounding unsure even to yourself.
Katniss huffs. âI mean, come on, Gale, you know that our relationship has been fake from the start and weââ she gestures between the two of them. ââweâre friends, Gale, we always have been.â
He scoffs, and says something else in a bitter tone but all you can hear is Katnissâs words replaying over and over in your brain.
Our relationship has been fake from the start.
âShut up for a second!â You snap at Gale, and turn back to Katniss. âYour relationship was fake the whole time? Yours and Peetaâ?â You almost feel like an asshole for asking, just in case it is real; but so many things Peeta has done and said make so much more sense recontextualized like this.
Like when he said their rings were âjust for ten cameras.â Or when he told you he always thought you were beautiful. Or even the way he tried so hard to convince not to go back into the games.
Both of their faces fall flat, Katnissâs in disbelief. âYou didnât know?â She says.
You shake your head slowly. âNo, I-â you stop yourself because you're at a loss for words.
âY/n, we didnât try to hide it from you, how did you not know? Even Haymitch said right in front of you that Peeta had a crush on you!â
You deadpan once again. You had blatantly misread everybodyâs words in that conversation. âI just assumed that was about you!â You stare at each other for a second longer before you stand up abruptly. âI have to go.â
There was a lot of thinking you had to do and then a lot of planningâ and a bit of yelling too.
âŠ..
You were deemed too invested in the mission to actually go on it, and Finnick was too distressed over Annie to be allowed.
So you had been sitting together in silence; the silence was comfortable but the insane amounts of stress running through your veins was enough to make the tension in the air as sharp as a knife. Not between each other but to any other person.
Especially since Gale was allowed to go on the mission, and you felt that was entirely unfairâ Gale doesnât even like Peeta.
It had turned into a whole day of waiting, and only twenty minutes ago, they had returned with Johanna, Peeta and Annie.
The anxiety had grown tenfold when you were both informed you werenât allowed to see them yet.
Now, youâre standing outside the door where Annie was resting, watching her through the one way window.
Finnickâs eyes are filled with so many you can only pick out one or two; you wonder if your eyes will look similar when you enter Peetaâs room.
You wish him luck and watch as he enters the room; Annie looks like she screams his name and then jumps him. He holds her up, looking like itâs the happiest moment of his life.
Watching them makes you much more excited to see Peeta, although you're not sure it will be quite that exuberant of a reunion.
You walk a couple doors down, glancing in the windows as you do; but you stop when you see Katniss and Johanna in one of the rooms before Peetaâs.
Why in the world is Katniss in the Hospital? What happened?
You push open the door gently, and Katniss doesnât stirâ you take note of the morphling drip in her arm, that must be keeping her knocked out.
You see Johanna is also asleep, her head is shaved and she has the worst tortured expression on, even though she looks to be sleeping soundfullyâ physically, anyways.
If sheâs looking that bad, you canât help but wonder about Peeta. Youâre always wondering about him.
You donât want to disturb either of their healing so you quickly leave the room, shutting the door as quietly and calmly as you can.
Finally, as you walk out, you spot the guards in front of Peetaâs door; you think itâs a little strange, considering neither Johanna nor Annie had security at the door but you walk towards the door anyways.
The guards hold out a hand as you approach.
âRestricted access, you canât go in there.â The guard says, almost heartlessly.
Just as he finishes speaking, the door opens and Haymitch steps out and away. You would look through the window but the blinds are down.
âIâm sorry, Sweetheart, you canât see him.â Haymitch takes your arm and leads you back down the hallway. âThe Capitol⊠they tortured him so bad heââ Haymitch stops, and looks away for a second before looking back. âHe tried to strangle Katniss, and kept yelling about how Katniss was a liar. Heâs not himself right now.â
So much for your heartfelt reunion.
All content belongs to @beingsuneone , do not repost, copy or post on other platforms without my permission.
#peeta mellark#the hunger games peeta#thg peeta#peeta x reader#peeta#peeta mellark x reader#peeta mellark x you#thg x reader#the hunger games x reader#the hunger games#catching fire#mockingjay#spoilers#mockingjay spoilers#catching fire spoilers#thg spoilers#the hunger games spoilers
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I'm bored and my head is full of One Piece stuff. So I decided to join the old N$FW alphabet trend, with my beloved, Eustass Kid. English is not my first language, so sorry for the mistakes.
WC : 3869
A: Aftercare (What theyâre like after sex)
If youâre just a one night stand, Kidâs aftercare is nonexistent. He will just tell if your session was nice or shitty (with his usual brutal honesty, so sorry not sorry if it hurts your feelings), heâll maybe make a comment about how good your ass was and then, heâll bark you to leave his room, or if heâs at your place, heâll leave without any more word. Do not expect any form of kindness from him, this man is rough by nature after all.
However, if you too are engaged into a relationship, heâll need some time to cool and calm down, so donât talk to him or try to cuddle with him during this time, itâll only annoys him. After that, heâll get up and bring you a glass of water and something to clean you up. He knows heâs rough during sex and wants to make sure youâre doing okay, so feel free to ask him anything else. Once youâre comfortable and all your needs are fulfilled, heâll lay next to you and give you his honest opinion regarding your session. Heâll let you rest your head on his chest, while he runs his fingers through your hair. Kid is not good with pillow talk (and with any talk in general), I think heâs more the type of guy to quickly fall asleep (and snore loudly). If youâre in a talkative mood, heâll try to keep his eyes open but end up falling asleep quickly anyway.Â
B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerâs) Â
On himself, bro is a fan of his own dick, I think everyone in the fandom agree with this fact. He knows it huge and heâs proud of it. I mean, he makes women cum all around it or gag on, of course heâs proud. Actually, you know how to boost his ego? When he undresses in front of you for the first time, ask him if his cock will fit into you with a worried face. He will be so fucking proud.
Another objective fact, this man is a fan of his torso. I mean, the shirts heâs wearing are useless as fuck, bro just wants to flex with his muscles.Â
With his partner, Kid is in love with their ass. The whole Eustass Kid agenda agrees with this headcanon. He wants to see your booty all the time : spank it, grab it, makes it jiggle, even bites on those juicy cheeks. Damn, his hand(s) is/are always glued to your glute.Â
C: Cum (Anything to do with cum) Â
Well, regarding his cum itself, itâs on the thicker side and thereâs quite a lot of it. Definitely not really tasty, but overall, itâs not the worst taste.Â
Kid loves to see his partner covered in his cum, its fuel his ego immensely. His favorite spot are your ass, your stomach and your face. If he cum during a blowjob, he asks you to pull your tongue out and will cum on It before making sure you swallow every drop.Â
With a one night stand, Kid will NEVER cum inside. Heâs already a Kid lol, having another one kiddo is not in his plans. Actually, if you ask him to cum inside, heâll get mad at you and starts to think you want to have a child with him, so the mood is totally ruined.
If youâre his lover, heâll maybe cum inside you, depending to your menstruation cycle. He just loves seeing his seed slowly flowing out of your pussy and stuffed his fingers to put every drop right back inside of you.Â
D:Dirty Secret
Well itâs not a dirty secret but considering how cocky and arrogant he always acts, it is for him. The fact is, sometime, Kid likes when you take all the initiatives and do all the work. Yeah, I know, at the first look it doesnât match his energy, but sometimes, Kid can get pretty tired, especially since he lost his arm. He rarely use his metal arm in bed because heâs afraid of hurting you. And doing everything with one arm can be exhausting from time to time. So please, offer him some relieve, be a good girl and ride him.Â
Plus, of course, Kid loves anal sex. Fucking, fingering or licking that ass is a major turn on for him. Maybe some people find anal sex dirty, but not him. He LOVES how naughty it is, how tight an asshole is and how flustered his partner is when he spreads their ass cheek to lick their hole.Â
And, since Kid is a punk, you CANâT convince me this man have a single heterosexual bone in his body. Kid is not straight, I can smell it. I think heâs bisexual.So he often has fantasies regarding a threesome with a man. If youâre a one night stand, he doesnât mind sharing because he just doesnât care about you. If youâre his lover, heâll maybe try if you insist on a lot, but will fix a lot of rules, like the other man canât kiss you or put their dick inside your pussy. Your pussy is his and only his.
E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what theyâre doing?)
Considering how much Kid cares about his reputation, he knows what heâs into doing in bed. Sure, during his first times, it was a bit messy, but heâs a fast learner and good at following his instincts.
He also has no shame to ask you to touch yourself, so he knows what you like and how to make you cum as many times at possible.Â
Overall, Kid doesnât have a lot of experience, I mean, he didnât fuck with hundred of guys/women. But heâs not a virgin. Heâs just really focused on his goal of becoming the PK and one night stand only happens from time to time. Considering how asocial heâs, I think he needs to feel a kind of connexion to have sex with someone, even if itâs just for one night.Â
F: Favorite Position
Literally, any variation of doggy style. Kid is an ass man, so he wants and needs to see the ass heâs fucking. Plus, heâs a rough guy, with wild instincts and seeing someone all helpless, on all four awake his carnal desires.
The more helpless you are in front of him, the more heâs turned on. He likes to see your pussy and asshole clenching desperately, waiting to be filled. While he thrusts into you, he just loves seeing your ass giggled and leave some hand prints when he spank you. If he can tie your wrists or pull on your hair, then, itâs even better. Seeing you, your chest against the mattress and your ass up in the sky is his favorite view. Plus, he can see his cock thrusting inside of you, coat of your juice. What a delight.Â
With his lover, he also likes matting press. Just because you always cry out, complaining about how big heâs and how deep heâs fucking you in this position. Heâll never stop looking at you and your flustered expression.Â
As I said in the dirty secret, Kid also likes to leave all the work for you sometime. In this case, heâll go with reverse cowgirl. He can see your ass, hold your hips with one hand, or just lay back and watch you bounce up and down desperately on his cock. Seeing his dick buried deep inside of you will make him growl of satisfaction.Â
G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.) Â
Not goofy at all. Sex isnât supposed to be funny for Kid. I think he can laugh, like while heâs teasing you, heâll make fun of you, like "look at you, crying for my cock, youâre such a crybaby" but thatâs all. Never, lord, never, youâll hear Kid joking during sex.
If someone laughs at him during sex, then, heâs pissed off. With a night one stand, the mood is just ruined and heâll leave. With his lover, heâll get mad too, and also kinda hurt in his pride. He wants to make you feel good and cum at least once, so if you laugh at him, he'll think heâs not doing a good work. It will take a lot of time to reassure him after laughing at him.
H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Lol, I donât think someone will live after asking him such a question.
But the carpet matches the drapes.Â
Honestly, I donât see Kid as a very hairy guy.Â
And itâs maybe an unpopular opinion, but I think Kid takes care of himself. I mean, his manicure and make-up are always nailed. So when itâs starting to be hairy down there, heâll trim it and cursed during the whole process, but thatâs just Kid, always cursing.Â
I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspectâŠ)
With a one night stand ? Zero intimacy. Just rough sex and two people trying to reach ecstasy.Â
With his lover, Kid is still not a romantic. For him, sex is not a way to express his love, itâs just a way to make the both of you feels good. He doesnât understand the making love, lovey lovey dovey, crappy stuff. Having sex with his s/o means something to him, but the romantic side of it just fly over his head.Â
J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) Â
Considering his huge sex drive, Kid masturbate a lot.Â
If youâre around and in the mood, then, heâd rather fuck with you than jack off. But if youâre not there, or not willing to have sex, heâll just use his hand.
Everytime he sneaks around alone, you can be sure heâs jacking off and his crew already walk in while he was giving himself a little self-care time.Â
K: Kinks (One or more of their kinks)
Humiliation/Praises : Calling his partner a whore, a slut and feeling them tightening around his cock. He likes to see how flustered he can makes you with his words. But if youâre not into degrading stuff, he doesnât mind using praises, like "look at you, taking all of my cock so well, thatâs my girl", "thatâs it, just take it all", "you feel so good around my cock" , "your pussy tighten around my cock, it wonât let me go, you like my dick that much?", "be a good girl and stay still" Etc
And he expects you to praise him as well. Tell him how good heâs fucking you, how good his cock feels inside you. And call him Captain in bed and you will have a lot of orgasms. Heâll make sure of it.
Anal sex : As I said in his dirty secret, Kid likes how tight anal sex feels. It always makes you flustered and he needs a s/o willingly to do anal sex from time to time.Â
Pain : Well, Kid likes rough sex, everyone will agree with this fact. He likes to slap your cheeks, your ass, biting your neck, choking you lightly, pulling your hair. And he also loves when you scratch his back, pull on his hair and even bite him. It will make his cock throbbing inside you.Â
Public sex : Kid likes to fuck you in a public place, the risk of being caught is a turn on for him. Itâs just so naughty and sexy in his mind. But letâs be honest, if someone caught the two of you fucking, he wouldnât give two flying fucks and just continues to thrust inside you. Feeling you tightening your walls around his cock because of the embarrassment will even make him growl and pound harder. Â
L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)
As long as he can fuck you, the place doesnât matter. Most of the time, heâll fuck you in the bedroom or in his workshop, with you bending over his desk.Â
He also likes fucking you on the deck, it matches his public sex kink. Heâll bend you over the railing, so hey, itâs quite romantic, to watch the sunset and the ocean while heâs plowing into you like the wild animal heâs.
But letâs be honest, Kid will fuck you anywhere, anytime. This boy isnât picky. As long as you give him your consent, the place doesnât matter.Â
M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
The rush of adrenaline after a hard battle. Heâs just so horny after a fightÂ
Whenever he needs to release some anger or frustrationÂ
If you tease him, especially around of people
If he watches you fight. Itâs hot, to watch his lover fighting and it always makes blood rush down to his cock.Â
If you wear his red coat. It flustered him, but also makes him horny. Same if youâre wearing one of his shirts.Â
If you want to have the ride of your night, just wait for him in the bedroom, wearing nothing but one of his shirts wide open on your bare chest. Or wait, naked, with his coat on your shoulders. Damn, it will drive him crazy.
Seeing his lipsticks smeared on your face or neck.Â
N: No (Something they wouldnât do, turn offs)
Anything involving piss or shit.Â
Sharing is caring, but if he ever accept to have a threesome, the guy will never have the right to fuck you. Your pussy belongs to him, and only him.
Being tied up. Kid hates feeling inferior or weak. If youâre his lover, heâll only accept to be tied with something in metal, so he can take it off whenever he wants and take back the lead.Â
Anything involving waters. He feels weak in it, even in the shower. He needs to feel powerful.Â
Pegging is not a total no, but it will only happen with his lover and when the relationship is stable and long enough. He knows where his G point is, and please, heâs a punk, he LOVES non-conformism. But being vulnerable, laying on his back with his legs spreads or on all fours, his muscular ass up, chest against the mattress while youâre pegging him ? He really needs to trust his partner, because heâs afraid to ruin his reputation. Probably a bit overwhelmed and embarrassed at the end of the experience, but it was good. Please, reassure him than having that kind of experience has nothing to do with virility and that heâs still the dangerous and well-known Eustass Captain Kid.Â
Roleplay : itâs so ridiculous and humiliating for him, he canât.Â
O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Â
A receiver, not a giver. Watching someone kneeling before him, sucking his cock, even gagging on it, damn, itâs just feel so good.
He bucks his hips, fucking your mouth. If you drool all over his cock, itâs even better.Â
If you can deep throating him, it will make him cum really fast. His cock is big, not everyone is able to take his full length and girth. Just imagine this man losing his mind, cursing and throwing his head back while you deep throat him.
He, unfortunately, doesnât go down on you often. But have you seen how this guy likes to show his tongue and lick his lips ? He knows how to use it, I can smell it. If youâre a one night stand, youâll have to ask for having you pussy ate.Â
If youâre in a relationship, especially if itâs the first time you two are fucking together, heâll go down on you, lick your pussy and drink your juice, making sure youâre wet and ready for him. Go ahead, grab his head, pull on his hair, he likes it. Considering how stubborn heâs, he will keep going and only stop after you cum at least once against his lips.Â
P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)
Fast and rough. This man is a beast.Â
He always needs to release some anger or stress, so heâs always rough while fucking you. Even more with a one night stand.Â
He doesnât want to hurt you, still. But his pace will never be gentle and sensual. But heâll adapt to whatever youâre able to take it.Â
He likes hearing skin slapping against skin, sounds of your wet pussy, leaving bites on your body. For him, sex is messy and rough.Â
I can only see two ways to force Kid to have slow sex :Â
If youâre a virgin and a one night stand : heâs pissed off. He wants to have fun, not to be anyone first time and all the craps it involves. So just take your clothes and get out of here. Yeah, heâs mean.
However, if you two are in a relationship, he doesnât want to hurt you and knows his pace is not adapted for a virgin. He will do his best to take you slowly, in missionary, holding back himself. He wants to make you feel good and as you continue to fuck together, progressively, your sessions will be more and more rough and messy. His strokes would be really long and deep, hitting all the right spots. Imagine him, with his jaw clenched, sweats dripping from his forehead, growling huskily, the muscles of his arms all tensed as heâs trying his best to not slam roughly inside your tight pussy. Damn.Â
If you challenge him, like, betting heâs not able to fuck you slowly, this man will have the slowest pace ever, just to prove youâre wrong. At the end, he won the game and youâll be frustrated by how slow and torturing his thrusts are.Â
Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) Â
He likes quickie, but not that much. Letâs be honest, if you ask him a quickie, the answer will always be yes.Â
But he prefers proper sex, because heâs always 100% implicating in what heâs doing, so he wants to fuck your properly.Â
During quickie, Kid will bend you over something or carry you against a wall, skip any foreplay and just slams himself into you, his lips against yours to muffle your screams.Â
R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Kid likes to experiment, but only with his lover. With a one night stand, he wants to be in control and proves how good heâs. If you ask him to do something he has never done, then, heâs not willingly trying.
If youâre in a relationship, he can try some stuff and fantasies, but donât you dare laugh at him if heâs not doing great the first times you two tries something new. It will really hurt is pride, he gets pissed off and less inclined to try new stuff.
Concerning the risk of being caught, well, Kid doesnât give two flying fuck.Â
S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they lastâŠ)
His stamina is perfect, he can last for a while. Good luck.Â
Even with his rough pace, he can last easily 20 minutes of intense pounding.Â
Youâll be tired before him. Heâs quite observant with you and will notice when you really canât take much more.Â
His sessions are intense and you always end up breathing harshly and sweating, with your legs shaking.Â
Kid knows how to hold back, but you can make him cum quickly with anal sex or deep-throating.Â
T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He hates toys. Are you saying heâs doing the job so poorly, you need a toy to cum ? Okay, heâs pissed off.Â
If you want to have a toy during your solo masturbation session, then, feel free, he will gladly create any toy you want with his DF. But when you two are fucking, no toy.Â
It hurts his pride.
The poor baby has a lot of pride.
Maybe he can have some fantasies, like a handmade vibrator. Heâll ask you to keep it inside you during the day and from time to time, heâll use his DF and watch you trying to keep a cold face in front of others while the toy tease your G point.Â
U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)
He likes to tease you, especially with dirty talk. Just because it always makes you tighten around his cock.Â
He will also tease you a bit during foreplay. He loves when you beg for his cock.
But due to his lack of patience, Kid is not the kind of guy to tease during hours.Â
In public, if he canât fuck you, he gets frustrated and tease you as a way to release some frustration.
If you want to tease him, feel free, but heâll show you absolutely no mercy later, pounding into you like a fucking beast and growling about how naughty you were earlier. And if you try to squirm, heâll hold your hips and growls to stay still. You earned this, so shut up and take it. (But of course heâs not a total dick, if you need him to slow down or even stop, heâll listen.)Â
V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
This man canât do anything in silence. Of course heâs loud.
He grunts a lot, talk dirty, spank your ass, all of the time.Â
He doesnât scream. Just grunt and curse a lot. Just imagine him, with his low, husky voice, grunting close to your ear.Â
He likes to hear you scream or moan for him. So please, do it. The louder, the better.Â
Tell him how good he's fucking you, how huge his cock is stretching your walls and Kid will be more than happy. He's a simple man, overall.
W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)
After sex, if youâre in a relationship, he falls asleep really fast⊠and even if heâll never admit it, he likes to be the little spoon. Just hold him firmly and tenderly from behind and let him be the little spoon, please.Â
X: X-Ray (Letâs see whatâs going on in those pants) Â
Pale dick, pink sensitive head. A few veins along the shaft, but not that much.
Kid is a big and large guy, and considering how bold and cocky he acts, his cock is long and thick af, he needs the right back-up lol. He knows heâs big and heâs hella proud of his own cock.
Length around 17/20cm (7/8 inch). And the girth is scary. Good luck if itâs your first time.Â
A shower, not a grower.Â
His balls are proportioned to his cock size and heavy.
When he takes off his pants down for the first time in front of you, heâll probably grins while watching your scared or excited face.Â
Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
High. Really high.
Kid is kinda always angry at something and he needs to release his frustration with sex.Â
He can fuck you multiple times in the same day and still be ready for more. And his refractory period is really short, too. So good luck.
In a relationship, Kid needs someone with a huge sex drive too.
Z: ZZZ (⊠how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Will snore 5 minutes after collapsing on top of you.Â
After fucking you like a beast, he feels relaxed, his anger is gone (at least for now), same for his stress or frustration, so heâs sleepy. Heâll just clean himself quickly, or not, and fall asleep.
He doesnât like pillow talk, but if youâre in a relationship, heâll try to make an effort.Â
If itâs a one night stand and not at home, heâll leave and fall asleep once heâs back to his ship.Â
#kid x reader#eustass kid x reader#eustass kid smut#eustass kid headcanons#kidd x reader#eustass kid#eustass kid imagine#eustass x reader#eustass kid x you#eustass kid x y/n#kid pirates#one piece smut#one piece x reader#one piece headcanons#kid pirates headcanons
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It Has to End - It Will End
Ramattra x Reader
!! sa r/pe warning !! A/N: I am fairly open about my experience, having written about it in the past with a character from a different fandom. What is written below from the readers POV is what happened to me back in 2018. Some of you may ask or have wondered why I'm comfortable in writing r/pe, and this is why - I have been through it. If this helps even one person, then I have done something right... Also don't ask about word count I did this here and not in a doc-
Something had been off with you for awhile but the omnic couldn't place it. The distant stares, vacant eyes and shaky hands were anything but normal. He ruled it down to the nightmare you recently had, it was still eating away at you, he thought.
One night, when the two of you were seated on the balcony to watch the meteor shower that was supposedly happening, he figured that it was the right time to ask.
"Is everything okay? You have not been yourself recently." His head tilts to the side, optics glancing over at you.
Ramattra notices the hesitation before you peel your eyes away from the night sky. "Yeah. Suppose I'm just on edge."
"We have time-"
"I don't want to ruin the mood." You half smile at him.
"Your health and feelings are more important than some balls of dust falling from the atmosphere." He states, turning his entire body to face you. "Talk to me. Please."
You can hear the desperation in his voice as you follow suit, turning your body to sit in front of his. A shaky sigh escapes you as you look down at your hands resting on your lap.
"I can't forget what happened to me." You start, not wanting to look up at the omnic before you. "It happened so long ago but it still feels recent."
Ramattra stays silent, the only noise coming from him was his inner workings, the soft hum of his fans against the cool night time wind.
"It took me so long, no, too long, to realise what had happened to me. The way his hands grabbed my body. I can still feel them on my sides, my hips; the bruises from how tight he held me." Closing your eyes, you try to dismiss the scene, but it replays. A constant, torturous loop that never seemed to end. "He pushed himself inside of me⊠I was screaming, shouting at him to stop, but he didnât, no matter how loud I cried⊠It felt like glass being dragged back and forth. After he⊠After he had finished, he just cleaned himself up, leaving me bent over his bed trying to collect myself."
The next sentence that leaves your mouth hits the omnic like a brick.
"He was a friend, Rama... Someone I trusted. Someone I knew for years and he did this to me." It was hard to hold back the tears that started falling down your cheeks. "It took me so long to realise what had happened, but by that point it was too late. I have to live with the fact that I was raped and there is no justice."
Ramattra freezes, hands tightly gripping the cloth around his thighs.
"He's out there living life as if nothing happened, and the worst part about it all?" You look up at the omnic as you wipe away the tear on your cheek. "I still had to see him."
The silence rings loud before being broken by the passing chilly wind. Ramattra goes to speak but nothing comes out. He couldn't believe what he was hearing; all this time, the anxiety, the flinching, the nightmares... You snap him out of his thoughts by continuing to speak.
"We had the same friend group. I avoided him as much as I could when I realised what happened, but nobody believed me when I finally said something... If they didn't believe me, why should anyone else?"
"You have the worst friends." Ramattra chimes in.
"I'm no longer friends with any of them." You laugh awkwardly. "I cut them off soon after."
"That does not change anything." He wants to lean forward, to hold you close, but your body language says otherwise - stiff, ready to push back.
You manage a half smile before continuing. "It comes back every now and then. I'll be having a good day and then it gets ruined by that... I want to it end."
"You have come far already. Opening up to me is the first step. You are holding on to it for what reason? You do not need to relive that moment anymore." Ramattra finally takes that leap and takes your hand in his.
You shrug, taking a moment to think as you watch his thumb smooth over your knuckles. "It's hard to let go of something so traumatic. I can't just snap my fingers and forget it. Something will trigger it and I go back to that isolated state."
"You have thought about different outcomes, yes?" Ramattra asks with a firm tone.
"Too many times." You breathe deeply. "I should've left or I should've fought back. I should've realised what had happened at that moment and gone to the police-"
"Does it make you feel better?"
"No. Worse. It makes me feel weak."
Ramattra hums and nods. "Then why do you keep doing it?"
You stutter when trying to come up with a response. "I suppose it made me feel better for a moment before it made me feel like shit."
"Perhaps you should try a different approach. Yes, it happened and no, you cannot change the past, but you are still here. You are living your life despite the event holding you back in some aspects. It does not make you weak. You are strong." Ramattra speaks softly. "You are stronger because of that."
You smile softly at his words but it quickly fades.
"You are not weak, [y/n]." He reiterates as he squeezes your hand. "Should I ever see this particular individual, I will make sure you have justice."
You couldn't help but laugh at his threat as you wipe away the remaining tears. "You are like a guard dog, you know that?"
"A very good one, no?" Ramattra shuffles closer to you, letting you lean your weight on him. "You deserve closure, to be free from that nightmare."
"One day..."
He keeps his optics on you for a moment longer, your heartbeat had slowed and you seemed more relaxed than before. There was a twinkle in your eyes as they widen, your body shifting forward as you point out a falling star.
"Rama, look!"
Though, he doesn't. His optics were still on you. Admiring you. He brings his head down, resting on the side of your neck. A soft buzzing, a kiss, is felt before he speaks.
"I am proud of you and how far you have come. Do not let this hold you back. You deserve the happiness and you are worthy of love. I am here each and every step of the way, no matter what comes your way. I have you, now and forever."
#overwatch#ramattra#ramattra x reader#yazzfics#debated posting this#it's been in my drafts for a few days#there are actually a few drabbles surrounding this#might be able to piece them together should I do a FULL thing in the future#I did nearly 18k words back in 2022 about this when it nearly made me drop out of uni#guess this is my way of coping#it works tho soooooo#more ramattra content heh
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This is mostly gonna be just a rant but it just baffles me how everything Qstudios has done since the beginning of the admins situation is a terrible pr move. So yeah this is just gonna talk how, even if you forget the immoral and potential illegal stuff that went on, I donât think their strategy is doing any good for the studioâs image.
-Going radio silent publicly and privately : Kinda the original sin of all this mess tbh. This obviously just leaves the space for the ex admins to share their stories, even more so since they have been ignored privately beforehand when they tried to handle things internally. This also allowed for the union to publicly intervene and more ccs talking about it, and actual news article being made on it.
-Leaving the server open : Tbh I get wanting to leave it open, maybe to allow minecraft centered ccs to still make content or maybe because itâd be weird to close it right after new people got in but also I think it would have be better to close it temporarily while they focus on the changes they promised rather than having it getting deserted little by little until it feels like a ghost town. This + also not a good look to have so many npcs online when Q said there would be none until things get better (The current npcs are likely non volunteers, once again not a bad or illegal thing per say but not a good look). Closing it would also have made it so that the reopening would have been a big and probably positive event.
-Welcoming new ccs/new languages : This might just be because of scheduling necessities or whatever and something they couldnât do later but it still made the community go :/// to get new people while on the flip side you had parts of the fandom leaving because of what was happening. Also not great for the new arrivals to start in such a weird climate, without admins help and with few people online on the server.
-Releasing merch at the worst time possible : This might have been something they couldnât change, just like the arrival of the Koreans/Hugo, but it still isnât a good look for them to release egg merch after it came out that some of the egg admins were poorly treated, especially when they havenât stated clearly that benefits from the merch would go towards paying staff. Itâs also not a good look for them to release new discounts every day, barely ten days after release. (Also the Qstudios Twt account retweeting every egg figures announcement except for Pomme will never not make me laugh)
-Making the twitter updates accounts active again : Yes it may just be that theyâre using a bot or that itâs the people who are in charge of the Qstudios twitter account posting on it, both of which are not wrong per say. But of course people are gonna wonder if itâs new people being hired, of course speculation will happen when thereâs a lack of transparency, of course ex admins are gonna be upset when it seems like things are continuing as if nothing happened, when they were fired without a warning, a thanks or even a sorry.
And now we have the two points that are kinda in a « you fucked up so bad itâs almost funny and I almost feel bad for you guys » category
-« Hey guys out of all the people we exploited and treated poorly you know which ones weâre gonna make eat dirt the most ? Hell yeah the ones that are from a part of the world who literally have a whole cliche about them complaining and rioting for anything and everything. Also happen to be the same ones whose community we alienated for months by sidelining them. Also happen to be a community who, during this time, has grown quite close to our most active community (who are themselves quite mad at us by now) to the point that they are making memes about the two of them being in love with each other. Yeah surely this can only go well »
-« Oh no, people actually really care » : QSMP Fans in general just loved and appreciated all the work the admins did, whether they were twitter admins, builders, actors, writers⊠This is even more true since the situation also revealed that some admins things people have been most critical on (lore being weirdly interrupted, french being ignoredâŠ) were not these admins fault. And of course, you have the eggs admins case. How do you make viewers and ccs alike get SO attached to these kid characters, as if it was their children, while mistreating the people playing them and not expect this to blow up in your face at some point. Itâs like you managed to catch lightning in a bottle and then left it to rot thinking this wouldnât end up badly. Weirdly this one makes me kinda hopeful bc Qstudios kinda HAVE to fix it or else they lose on of their main selling points.
#qsmp crit#qadmins situation#like iâm sorry i donât think any hater of the project could hurt it as much as qstudios themselves rn
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Whumptober 10 - Blow to the Head
title: head explodes. ouch. gets up and acts normal.
fandom: hermitcraft smp
cw: blood, head injury
~
Skizzâs build is not stupid.
Ugly? Sure. Heâll call it ugly. Itâs an ugly mess of deepslate.
But stupid? Not in a million years. Heâs a Hermit, after all (and the name fills him with pride, makes his chest puff out). Nothing he works on is stupid, by nature of being a Hermit. The Hermits arenât stupid.
Except Impulse. Impulse is pretty stupid.
Skizzâs build isnât stupid.
Thatâs what Skizz tells himself, day after day as he lugs stone bricks up the ever-growing pyramid, his walk getting longer and longer the taller it gets.
âItâs not stupid, itâs not stupid, itâs not stupid,â Skizz grunts, pushing and heaving at a stubborn chunk of rock. Itâs going to be beautiful! His beautiful hierarchy of needs pyramid. The other Hermits wonât know what hit âem.
Skizz doesnât really know what hits him either, at first.
One moment heâs there, heaving with this stupid rock, and the nextâ
Heâs on his back, the scaffolding bridge creaking under him.
He blinks, and his vision explodes into pain.
His head isâhis head is rupturing, it feels likeâlike someone swung a baseball bat at him as hard as they could, like someone dropped a bowling ball on his head. It hurts, it hurts more than anything that heâs ever felt, hurts more than his aches from shifting stone, more than a creeper explosion, more than his appendix bursting when he was nine.
It hurts. A lot.
Skizzâs arms feel like jello when he lifts a hand to feel his head, gingerly brushing around the most painful parts. Heâs crying, he realizes dumbly, tears streaming down his face at a rate unheard of.
His hand comes away dripping with blood.
What? Did his head actually burst?
That canât be good.
Skizz doesnât really know how he manages it, but after a couple of long moments of lying on the scaffolding, he finally manages to roll over, getting his shaky arms under him and pushing himself to his knees.
He feels terrible. Probably the worst heâs ever felt. He might puke from the pain, honestly.
Looking down gives him the dizzying sense of how high up he really is. How is he meant to get down from here without calling for help?
He really doesnât want to call for help. The other Hermits would never just let their head explode. Rookie mistake.
He canât see all that well. The ground far, far below is hazy and spinning, just enough that his eyes canât focus on it. He can probably land on it though, right?
If he falls. If he lets himself slip off the edge, engage his elytra. Yeah. Yeah, elytra. Why was he thinking to try and climb down from here? Thatâs stupid.
Then, before Skizz can consciously think about it, heâs falling.
His stomach lurches to his throat as the world tilts even more, rapidly whirling around him, and the wind tears at his broken skull in ways that he canât quite understand but can definitely feel.
This isnât good. No, wait, heâs fallingâ
Itâs instinct that saves him more than anything, his elytra flicking open at the last second to slow his descent, and Skizz lands on his knees on the ground and once again almost pukes.
Ohhhh man. That was not a good feeling.Â
Skizz groans lowly, balls up his trembling fists. Heâs got this. He can get to his bed without passing out or vomiting.
Thereâs a chunk of deepslate beside him, the size of a small dog. He stares at it as it pulses, one side of it splattered with red.
His fingers brush it briefly, its sharp edges rough under the pads of his fingertips.
Why is it here?
He ignores the rock for now, and just stumbles to his feet as best he can (which means to his knees, too unsteady to get all the way upright). He crawls, every breath coming in a gasp, his knees slipping out from under him.
Thereâs liquid dripping down his neck. He canât lift his hand to see what it is, he just has to keep going. If he can get to his bed, he can take a little nap and be fine.
He can be fine. He just needs to rest. He hasâhe has the worldâs worst migraine. Thatâs all it is. He needs to sleep it off.
His eyes are closed. He opens them.
It hurts. Everything is pulsing and too-bright and too-loud andâ
His eyes are closed. He opens them.
He can see his bedroom door. He can smell blood. Itâs right there, though, somehow he got here through all the pain and he can rest.
His eyes are closed. He opens them.
His bed is there.
-
âOh, Skizz! Skizzleman! Come on, we have official permit business! Are you in here?â
Skizzâs mouth is dry. His mouth is dry and he canât open his eyes, his headâ
It feels like someone split open his head with an axe. It feels like heâs going to die.
â. . . Um, Skizz? Skizz, thereâs . . . thereâs a lot of blood. . . .â
Skizz licks his lips. Heâs so tired. He could pass out right here, right now, wherever it is he is. He probably will.
âOh! Oh my goodness, Skizzââ
Someone touches him, touches his head and it hurts it hurts it hurtsâ
âOh no, okay, what happened? Can you hear me? Skizz? Iâm calling for help, donât worry, uhââ
Skizz pries open his eyes.
He canât see.
He can kind of see. Thereâs wayyy too many black dots swimming across his vision, and he can kind of see a familiar face that he canât quite put a name to. He moves his lips, tries to speak, but the words donât surface.
He closes his eyesâjust for a momentâand thereâs another face there.
Impulse.
Impulse smiles at him, squeezes his hand. Heâs holding his hand. Thatâs nice.
âYou,â Impulse says, leaning in close, âare so stupid. You hear me, Skizz? Stupid.â
Skizz blinks.
His head really, really hurts.
-
âDrugs are great,â Skizz says, tugging at his hospital bracelet. âI love drugs. Do you love drugs?â
Impulse huffs out a laugh. âDude. Shut up.â
âI canât even feel my head explosion,â continues Skizz. âIt feels so good.â
âYour head didnât explode, idiot. Why werenât you wearing a hardhat, huh? You know how dangerous brain damage can be in a respawn.â
Skizz doesnât answer that. He hadnât even realized there was a loose chunk of stone above him. He didnât know he needed a hardhat.
âI was kind of scared,â he admits. It feels silly, now. âI didnât know what happened. I was justâboom. You know?â
âThatâs why you need a hardhat.â
The drugs really do feel good.
âYeah, yeah,â he mumbles. âHow many stitches?â
âThirty-three.â
âGood number. Three-three.â
âGo back to sleep.â
âJerk.â
âStupid.â
âLove ya.â
âLove ya.â
#whumptober2024#no.10#blow to the head#hermitcraft smp#fic#blood and injury#skizzleman#skizz fanfic#hermitcraft#hermitblr#hermitcraft fanfic#mas writes#i'm sick :((((((((#stress sick i think#yk. midterms. show opens tomorrow.#the like#i need to keep studying for my stats exam#which is tomorrow. at 9am.#save me skizz whump. skizz whump save me#lmk what you think#love you guys
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Fandom; one piece
Paring: Zoro/reader
Warnings; unsafe sex, biting, choking, possoves zoro
A/N: I know this took absolutely forever! I'm really sorry it's been a rough month for me and haven't been able to do much writing. As always feedback is always welcome and my ask box is open as well.
You can see your breath as you walk beside Brook where you were freezing in this part of wano. Things had taken a turn for the worst like normal and you all were now being hunted down. You had heard Zoro was badly injured so you came with Brook to see how he was doing, you were not expecting what you found though.
"We were just sleeping!" You hear Zoro yell and peek your head inside to find Zoro laying on a mat with a beautiful woman laying beside him and you feel your heart crack. Zoro and you had been fooling around and as time went on you had thought he had felt the same you did, guess not. Biting your lip you feel eyes on you and see Zoro stare at you but you don't look him in the eye.
"I'm going back to the hut Brook" you say loudly enough for everyone to hear as tears feel your eyes. You had no right to be angry. He was not yours to clam and he could do whatever he wanted but It still hurt more than you had liked.
"Well okay, are you sure? We just got here" he says looking at you, you look at him then finally at Zoro once you pull yourself together, you would not let him see how much this hurt you.
"Yeah, I have seen all I need too and he is clearly more than fine" you say harshly, venom laced at the end making Brook look at you oddly and you heard a groan come from the hut you were standing at.
"Oi! (Y/N)! Wait!" You hear Zoro call but you ignore him and keep walking. You bite your lip harshly and hold back yours when you feel him grab your arm.
"Let go!" You snap, turning and yanking your arm free, you were pissed and hurt and wanted to be left alone. Zoro glares at you and your tone.
"What is the matter with you!?" He growls clearly not happy with your attitude but you didn't really care at that point. You ball your hands into fits wanting to punch him but you think better of it.
"Why don't you go back to her, I'm done being your plaything Zoro!" You snarl and turn away from heading back into your hut slamming the slide door behind you leaving you in a low lit room with the only light coming from the fire. You roughly rub your eyes from the tears and you felt like you wanted to scream.
"You wanna explain what you mean by that" you jump and swing around at his voice, the glim in his eye is dangerous and you almost feel like prey under his stare.
"You heard exactly what I said Zoro! I'm done with whatever the hell this is! I'm done being in love with a man who doesn't feel the same! Im-" your rant is cut off as your back hits the wall and you look up at Zoro who now towers over you and you feel your stomach drop, you knew he would never hurt you but that look excited you more than it should.
"You're not leaving me (y/n) and you're more than a play thing! Your mine" he said huskily and your mouth goes dry at his words. Zoro leans down and kisses you deeply pulling your face and body close to him and your arms are placed on his chest. You try to push him away but he is hard as stone making him growl and nip your lip and you moan.
"But your injury?" You moan as he sucks a mark into your neck. Zoro chuckles darkly before he bites leaving a mark behind that he soothes with his tongue making you cry out.
"Nothing is going to stop me from showing you that you're mine in every way" he says huskily, never breaking eye contact, your hands run up his chest to rest behind his neck where you run your nails through his hair there making him shiver.
"And you're mine?" You whisper his lips so close to yours. Zoro reaches for your hand and he places it on his chest.
"Every last part of me til I take my last breath" he says, you lean up and kiss him deeply and he growls lifting you up and you wrap your legs around him and moan at the friction. Zoro carries you over to the mat on the floor and lays you down hovering over you. Zoro undresses you leaving you bere under him.
"Zoro!" You moan your back arching as he kisses and bites down your neck. You reach up pushing his kimono open and your nails run down his chest making him growl. You lean up kissing and biting his neck leaving marks behind and he groans grinding into you.
"Who do you belong to?" He asks huskily his hot length running through your folds making you moan and you look up at him.
"You zoro I belong to you, and you belong to me" you moan and he smirks before he slowly enters you and you cling to him. You let out a moan at the stretch and burn as he bottoms out, no matter how many times you two have done this he always feels too big.
âAlways so wet and tight for meâ he groans as he lets you adjust. You lean up and kiss him deeply, nipping his bottom lip making him growl.
âAlways for you, now fuck me zoro I need youâ you moan clinging to him tightly. Zoro groans and starts to move his thrusts rocking your body making your nails claw down his back.
âFuck your mine! All mineâ he growls his hand wrapped around your throat as he pounded into you making you cry out his name.
âOh fuck zoro! There!â You cry out as your toes curl. Zoro snarls at the sounds he was making you make and every time your nails clawed down his back he would see stars.
âFuck! I wanna feel you cum on my cockâ he growled as he pounded into you. You cling to him as the knot grows tighter, you are so close.
âZoro please, I'm so close!â You moan your hips thrusts up taking him deeper and he groans.
âCome for meâ he groans and you tighten around him as you cum hard.
âZoro!â You cry out as you cum, Zoro hips slams into you once more before he stalls and you feel his hot cum shoot inside of you.
âGod Dammit (y/n)â he pants as he leans his head down trying to catch his breath as you do the same. Zoro pulls back and grins down at you as he slowly pulls out loving the face you make every time he does. You look up at him and stroke his face softly and he leans down and kisses you deeply, stealing your breath once again.
âNever forget your mind, but I'm always here to remind youâ he chuckled dark and you lean up your naked breasts rub his chest and you feel his cock twitch. You grin and flip him on his back so you were now straddling him, his hands resting on your hips as you lean down close to his ear.
âyour mine Zoro don't you forget that, don't make me chain you upâ you say hottiy in his ear before biting his neck.
âPromise?â He chuckles darkly and you sit up a bit.
âDon't start something we don't have time forâ you smirk, climbing off him and looking for your clothes.
âJust you waitâ he grins.
#requests are still open btw#smut#reader#please request#reader smut#request#requests#vikingsarmy#one piece#zoro x reader#one piece zoro#zoro/reader#zoro smut#roronoa zoro#zoro#reader insert fanfiction#oneshot?#one piece smut
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centerfold
Fandom: 911
Pairing: Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Words: 3663 (oops lol)
Rating: M
Summary: Itâs all pretty simple. Buck gets up, works out, eats breakfast, goes to his shift, goes home to an empty and cavernous loft, makes dinner, and tries not to think about how much he wants his best friend. Yeah, right. Simple.
Title comes from this song.
Also on AO3 here
âBuck? You with me?â
âWhat?â he looked around, blinking at the others, who were all staring at him.
âI asked what you were feeling for dinner, Chinese or Italian?â Bobbyâs eyebrows were raised, in that telltale way that made Buck feel like he was being x-rayed.
âOh,â he blushed, looking everywhere but Eddie, âItalian.â
âYou always say Italian,â Hen complained, folding her arms, âyou need to see someone for your addiction to bad garlic bread.â
âThereâs no such thing as bad garlic bread,â Chim interjected, and the tension was broken. Buck avoided Eddieâs curious gaze, and moved off to the bathroom, not waiting for anyone to call him back.
It had been like this for weeks, ever since he had woken up saying Eddieâs name, curling pleasure receding down his spine, and a wet spot in his boxers and on the sheets of his bed.
He had washed them at two oâclock in the morning, his face burning with shame, and had vowed to never tell anyone about it or think about Eddie like that again.
Unfortunately, once the door had been open in his brain, he hadnât seemed to be able to close it, and the dreams had vacillated from highly inappropriate to sweet and soft, stolen kisses and curled around each other in the bed, with Buck waking to the echoing whispers of his name in Eddieâs mouth, aching in an entirely different way.
He wasnât sure which was worse.
He stared into the mirror, grappling with his feelings. Look, he hadâŠsuspected this part of himself for months, maybe even years, ever since Chim said it wasnât normal to flirt with the pizza delivery guy.
In Buckâs defense, his usual pizza guy was really cute, and always gave him extra garlic sauce without even charging him for it.
But there was a difference from admiring men from afar and wanting his best friend.
And man, did he want Eddie.
He had started noticing things, details that he had overlooked before. Things that made Eddie laugh, like when Buck would collapse dramatically when Bobby asked him to wash the rig, or when Buck would lose to Chris in Mario Kart (which was every time they played).Â
And worst of all, the way he looked at Buck when he would read to Chris at bedtime. That soft, sweet look that made Buckâs heart stutter in his chest and lose his place in the book, earning a jab from Chris and a laugh from Eddie.
It was driving him crazy, and he had no idea what to do.
He couldnât say anything, not because he thought Eddie or the others wouldnât accept him, but because it would change things between him and Eddie, and Eddie and Chris were as much his family as Maddie was.
He couldnât lose them; he would rather live his entire life like this than ruin what he already had.
âBuck?â
He jumped so violently that he nearly smacked his forehead on the mirror. He hadnât even realized that he was leaning over the sink, his head in his hands. Turning around, he blushed furiously as he met Eddieâs concerned and earnest eyes.
âOh. Hey.â
âAre you okay, man?â he moved toward him cautiously, like he was a deer that would startle easily, âI just wanted to check on you.â
âWhat?â he gave his head a little shake, trying to clear it. It was Eddie. He wouldnât mess this up with Eddie. âOh yeah, Iâm fine.â
Eddie raised an eyebrow, like he could see right through him.
âYou sure about that.â
âYeah,â he straightened up, searching wildly for an excuse for what he was doing, âJust-Â Headache.â
Immediately, Eddieâs expression melted to open concern, and he moved towards him, shifting into what Buck always called âdad mode.â
âYou take something for it?â
âYeah,â he lied, hitching a smile on his face, âIâll be fine as soon as I get my garlic bread.â
He huffed a laugh, rolling his eyes.
âYou and your garlic bread,â he looked at him, evidently sizing him up, âYou free on Saturday?â
âYou know it.â
âYou donât have a date or anything?â
Buck swallowed. The truth was, he hadnât been on a date in weeks, not since his first dream about Eddie.
âNo, just me and myself.â
âYou want to come over? Have a movie night?â
âYeah of course, whatâs Chris thinking?â
âWell,â he shifted closer to him, âChris is spending the night at a friendâs house. So itâd just be you and me. I was going to make dinner.â
Buck felt his heart pounding in his chest. Was this a date? It felt like a date.
No, it couldnât be a date, because it was with Eddie. He and Eddie were friends. Best friends. Best friends hang out like this. Best friends donât date. Best friends wake up saying each otherâs names either, but Buck didnât have time to worry about that.
âI hope by âmake dinnerâ you mean âorder takeout.â Because I donât think I can live through another casserole of yours.â
Eddieâs smile was wide and bright.
âFine, but not Italian.â
âWhatever, Iâll pick the movie, then.â
That smile was still on his face.
âDeal.â
Itâs not a date. Itâs not a date. Itâs not a date.
Buck told himself this around a thousand times a day leading up to Saturday. He felt nearly sick with anxiety every time he thought about it. An entire evening alone with Eddie, without the buffer of Chris between them.
Yes, they had done this many times before, but it felt different for Buck now, and he didnât know how to force himself to go back to normal.
He wanted to talk to Maddie about it, but Maddie might let it slip to Chim and Chim would tell Hen who would tell Bobby who wouldnât tell anyone, but the truth might, somehow, get back to Eddie, and Buck just couldnât bear the shame of the entire 118 knowing that he pined over the best friend he could never have.
Before he could blink, he was pushing open Eddieâs door, swinging a laughing Chris around before he set off for his sleepover, and settling down on the couch like he had a thousand times before.
âComfortable?â Eddie was leaning against the doorframe, watching Buck scroll mindlessly through the tv guide, looking for something to catch his attention. Other than the man in the doorway, that is.
âYeah,â he stretched ostentatiously, grinning up at Eddie, âYour couch is more comfortable than mine.â
âWell, I didnât have a decorator. Weâre having Indian.â
âFuck yes,â Buck punched a fist in the air, âI want-â
âI know what you want,â Eddie waved him off, âItâs already on its way.â
âOh man, I could kiss you right now.â
He said it without thinking, and glanced nervously at Eddie, afraid that he had shown his hand, but Eddieâs smile hadnât flickered, and he said,
âWait until after dinner at least.â
Something felt different that night, and Buck didnât feel like it was just the tangled jumble of confused feelings in his chest. Eddie was different, touching Buckâs arm, leaning into his space, stealing food off his plate despite Buckâs protestations, doing the dishes with him instead of just leaning against the counter.
They kept knocking into one another, making the kitchen feel four or five times smaller than it really was.
And every brush of skin, every nudge of Eddieâs hip against his, made Buckâs heart race.
He was so in tune with every move he made, he felt like he was a planet orbiting around the sun.
âWhatâre you looking at?â he broke the easy silence between them, drying his hands and draping the washcloth over the head of the sink. Eddie didnât look away from him, but watched him carefully, taking in every inch of him.
âYou.â
âYeah I can see that, Diaz. You like what you see?â
âMaybe.â
âJust maybe? Fuck you.â
âWhatâs been going on with you, Buck?â
Buck felt his heart drop in his chest.
âWhat do you mean?â
Eddie folded his arms, and Buck definitely didnât notice the way his t shirt stretched across his chest.
âYou know what I mean. Youâve been weird for the past couple of weeks. Weird with me.â
âNo I havenât,â he felt himself breaking out in a cold sweat. He was caught, and all the pep talks in the bathroom mirror in the morning hadnât worked, he hadnât been able to hide the truth.
Everything was going to change.
âYes you have, Buck,â he moved closer to him, âWhatâs going on? You can tell me.â
No he couldnât.
He thought of the worst case scenario, of losing Chris and Eddie, of becoming an outcast among his family, of ruining the best thing he ever had just because he had never known how not to fall in love.
But then, something in his brain shifted, and he thought of the best case scenario.
A confused mix of images, with him and Eddie and Chris all thrown together, of him spending even more time in the house that he wasnât really a guest in, of him and Eddie changing only slightly, settling into something that was easy and defined.
He wanted that. He wanted that with all he had.
All he had to do was take the leap.
âI asked you once,â Buck moved forward getting into Eddieâs space, smelling that clean, fresh scent of the cheap body wash he used, âif you wanted a shot at the title.â
He watched Eddie swallow, his wide eyes flickering down to his lips.
He felt like he was dreaming.
âI already smoke you in Mortal Kombat on a weekly basis,â he was trying for his usual bravado, Buck could see that, but he could also hear the tiniest waver in his voice, something of a giveaway, âWhat title are we talking about?â
Buckâs heart was in his throat, pounding so loudly that he could barely hear himself think. If he was wrong about thisâŠ
But he had to know, he didnât want to live the rest of his life wonderingâŠregretting.
He was willing to, but he didnât want to.
âThe title of the best Iâve ever had.â
One second.
Two seconds.
Three seconds.
It might as well have been an eternity.
âThatâs easy enough.â
Buck blinked, sure he had misheard him, that his heart that beat for Eddie Diaz had traveled to his brain, whispering things that never would be.
âYou-â he said, âYou-â
âI would be the best, without any doubt.â
Buckâs brain was catching up, like flirting with Eddie was easy as breathing. And honestly, it was, it always had been.
âOh yeah? You talk a big game.â
âSo do you.â
They were barely an inch apart, their chests in danger of pressing together. Buck thought he could feel the heat radiating off his own face.
âHowâs that?â
âYou said you could take me,â Buckâs hammering heart stopped dead as Eddie leaned even closer, âI donât think you can.â
Buck felt like the world was on fire, that he was engulfed in flames. But these were ones that he didnât want to put out.
âYou wanna bet?â their chests were really touching now, and Buck could feel the all-consuming heat of Eddie through his thin t shirt.
âWhatâs the wager?â his hand skimmed down Buckâs arm, and he couldnât repress a shiver.
âYou buy dinner for the next two weeks.â
âI always buy dinner,â his breath was ghosting against his face, and even though Buck was the one that had started this whole thing, he felt like he was spinning out of control, unable to find the brake or the throttle.
âYeah but,â his mouth was dry, and he couldnât look away from Eddie, from his wide, pretty eyes, and the way he had that line between his eyebrows when he was thinking about something, the way his lips looked soft and a little chapped and just so-
He wasnât sure, even years later, which one of them had brave enough to take the leap. Eddie would say it was him, while Buck would swear up and down that it was him. But before Buck could even really formulate another thought, he was kissing Eddie Diaz.
He had dreamed about this for so long, laid awake at night and listened to the quiet rumble of the city around him, staring out at the orange light of the sky through the windows, and thought about exactly this.
He had imagined this scenario a thousand different ways, their first kiss, arguably the most important one.
Sometimes it would be a big dramatic thing, a declaration in front of everyone they knew. Buck would get hurt doing something stupid, and Eddie would kiss him in front of everyone, half angry, half relieved.
Sometimes it was quieter, just the two of them, something similar to this, a normal evening they had had a thousand times before turning into something more, something simmering just below the surface.
And while every scenario in Buckâs head was different, he always ended up touching himself just the same.
But nothing, not his thousands of hours of mindless dreaming about his best friend could have prepared him for the type of kisser that Eddie was.
He was practiced, and he was good.
He licked at Buckâs lips until his mouth gasped open, pulling him forward and bending him back at the same time, so Buck was well and truly trapped under his hands. They were pressed together, one long line, and Buck thought he may as well die now because nothing was ever topping this.
He groaned into Eddieâs open mouth, kissing him back with so much enthusiasm it knocked them off balance and nearly sent them to the floor.
âCalm down,â Eddie chided, smiling against his mouth, âthere isnât a rush.â
But there was a rush to Buck, because he was terrified of waking up. Because this couldnât be real, this couldnât be happening. He couldnât have Eddie under his hands, sighing into his mouth, hands raking down his back, pulling up his t shirt to touch his bare skin.
âMore,â he demanded, tearing his shirt over his head, âI want more.â
âHang on,â Eddie pulled back, leaving Buck chasing his lips, âSlow down, Buck.â
âNo,â he said, nearly pitifully, âCome back.â
âIâm right here,â he pressed their foreheads together, âIâm not going anywhere. I just think- Should we- Talk about this?â
âCan we talk after?â he kissed the side of his face, breathing in the smell of him, tugging at the hem of his shirt. Eddie let him pull it over his head, and Buck allowed himself to take the time to touch Eddie with the reverence that he deserved.Â
He traced the scars on his torso, wanting to know the story of every one that he didnât recognize.
Eddieâs chest was heaving, and there was a vague sort of satisfaction buzzing in Buckâs brain that he wasnât the only one who was affected here.
âYeah,â he finally managed, âWe can talk after.â
The time between clothed and unclothed was short. Buck felt desperate, shaky, like he needed a hit of something. But the hit was Eddie, and Eddie was the greatest drug anyone could ever have.
Any nerves or fear that Buck had melted away the moment that Eddie had pressed his lips to his shoulder and whispered in his ear,
âIâve got you.â
He relaxed into the experience, allowing Eddie to take the lead.
âHow do you-â
âEveryone experiments in the army,â he said simply, âNot much else to do.â
âOh,â he tried to lean into the feeling of Eddieâs hands, of the feeling of his teeth grazing the shell of his ear, but he seemed to feel him tense up, because he stopped immediately.
âWhatâs wrong?â he asked, making Buck turn around from his position on the bed to look at him in the face.
âNothing,â he said, avoiding his gaze, âJust-Â I donât-Â I havenât-â
Eddie took his face in his hands, shushing him quietly.
âI know that, and itâs okay. But we donât have to-â
Buck shook his head at the idea violently.
âNo,â he said forcefully, âI want to. I really, really want to.â
Eddie smiled, kissing him sweetly on the lips.
âAt your pace.â
Once he had shoved his anxiety to the side, he found that it was easy, as everything with Eddie was. It wasnât strange to be with Eddie like this because they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, something that Buck had thought before, but never quite like this.
Eddie encouraged Buck to be vocal, say what he liked and what he didnât, tell him to stop if he was uncomfortable or wanted to slow down.
But Buck was never one to slow down, and once he had figured out the sensation, and more importantly, figured out the sensation was good, he really only used his voice to tell Eddie to go faster or harder or that he wanted more. More. More.
Buck collapsed on the bed when they were done, sweaty and wrung out, but satisfied in a way that he wasnât sure he had ever been in his entire life.
âTold you you couldnât take me,â Eddie was standing over him, swiping a warm washcloth down his stomach.
âI think I took you just fine,â he propped himself up on his elbows, âYou seemed to like it, anyway.â
âOh, I definitely liked it. I also like that I already know that Iâm the best you ever had.â
âI never said that,â Buck shifted to watch him walk back to the bathroom, the rippling muscles of his back, the curve of his assâŠgod damn.
âYou didnât have to, I just know these things,â Eddie leaned away from the sink to tap his temple knowingly.
And the truth was, Buck really had no comeback, because he was the best he had ever had by a huge margin.
âWhatever, you just donât want to buy dinner,â was what he settled on, and Eddie chuckled as he slid back into the bed with him, pulling Buck on top of him and slotting their legs together.
Eddieâs bed was soft and comfortable, even more so when Buck was tangled together with him, Eddieâs hand tracing up and down his spine, his heart beating strong and steady in his chest, where Buckâs ear rested, his hand curled around Eddieâs forearm.
They were breathing in tandem, the quiet of the night around them broken only by a car rolling by or the sound of a cat passing through the back yard.
âShould we talk about this?â Eddie broke the easy silence, his hand still traveling up and down his back.
Buck turned his face into his chest, so his voice came out muffled.
âDo we have to?â
He heard Eddie huff a laugh, pressing a kiss into the top of his head. It drove him completely insane.
âYeah, I think we probably should.â
Buck groaned, but couldnât find the words to even begin saying how he felt, how this happened.
Fortunately, Eddie took it out of his hands.
âIs this whatâs been bothering you?â
âI-â it was hard to admit this, admit something to someone that he had barely even admitted to himself, âI had a dream about you and- I thought it was just a one-off thing, one of those embarrassing things that you canât control and you get over. And then- Then it kept happening, and then it was happening when I was awake.â
Eddieâs warm weight was reassuring, and it was easier to talk once he had started.
âI didnât even realize- I didnât know that I was- Like that. Sure I can appreciate anyoneâs ass but I didnât think that- That it meant anything. That I wanted anything with a guy. Until- Until you.â
The silence stretched, and it was all Buck could do not to change the subject, talk about something inane, something not quite soâŠraw.
âIt took you long enough.â
Wait. What?
âHuh?â he twisted around to look at Eddieâs face, half hidden in the dark, but he could tell that he was grinning, âWhat do you mean it took me long enough?â
âIâve been giving you signals for at least two months.â
âTwo months? You- Two months?â
âEver since the tsunami,â he gripped him tighter, like even the memory of that horrible day was too much, âThe way you protected Chris, the way you did everything you could to find him, save him. I think I fell in love with you that day.â
âI was the one that lost him,â he mumbled, before his brain caught up with his ears, âWait-Â What do you mean, âin love withâ me?â
âYouâre not stupid, Buck,â he didnât have to see Eddie to know he was rolling his eyes, âYou heard me.â
âI-Â I donât-â
He didnât understand how anyone like Eddie, someone so good, so kind, such an amazing father, could be in love with him.
âYou donât see what everyone else does,â Eddieâs quiet voice filled him up like a good glass of whiskey, warming him to the tips of his fingers, âThe way you brought everyone to the house for Christmas with Athena. The way you are with kids. The way you are with Chris. God, Buck, how could I not love you? How could I not want you for myself? For me and for my kid.â
Buck swallowed loudly. No one had ever said anything remotely like this to him. It was so tender, so gentle, and there was no doubt in his mind that Eddie meant it. Every word.
âI really-â he let out a shaky breath, âI really love you, Eddie. Sorry it took me so long to realize.â
âThatâs okay,â he could feel Eddieâs smile as he pressed his lips into his hair again, âI was willing to wait.â
#buddie#my writing#911#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 fox#probably first of many lol#buddie fanfic
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Vesuvia Weekly: Fashion Intervention
~ here's another sketch of an afternoon with my fandom self-insert :P ~
1.8k words
One of the best parts about being the type of person to prefer sitting in corners is needing to worry less about my appearance.
One of the worst parts about being the type of person who doesn't worry much about appearance is having six friends who definitely do.
The part I don't understand is when my fashion sense got so horrifically bad that said six friends actually banded together to stage an intervention. In the marketplace. While I'm writing. With Selasi, that delightful baker, enabling them.
"Ah-ah-ah, don't try to resist! You're a fine young man, my friend, but we all have our weaknesses. Appearances are easy to fix!"
My neck is going to start hurting if I keep having to look up like this. Julian is gesturing enthusiastically, his coat billowing in the breeze as he gets caught up in his monologue on self-improvement. Do I point out the irony, or -
"He doesn't look that bad, he just needs some more ... smrthrgnh." The last word of Asra's sentence is muffled by a mouthful of bread. My bread. Why is he eating my snack?
"Why are your clothes so shapeless anyways? Show off a little something! You should do like I do and get everything tailored. Work that figure!" Lucio takes a few heeled steps and then spins, striking a pose to show off his suit. Muriel frowns.
"It's okay if you don't want to show off." Thank you. "But maybe you could ... pay attention to patterns." I take it back.
"Yeah, what's up the funky looking skeleton? There's no way the fabric it's painted on is going to last longer than a few washes."
"It's merch, Portia." She huffs at my defense and plops down across from me, brushing my parchment out of the way. "I like it because of the pattern, the quality is just ... unfortunate, sometimes."
"I believe we've made our intentions clear." Nadia sails into the discussion and gives me a no-nonsense look. "It would be remiss of us to allow our friend to sit in a public space with so little care for his appearance. Especially when he is one of Vesuvia's aspiring authors."
I try a pleading look, but the only person who starts to look remotely guilty is Julian. Portia's elbow to his ribs makes quick work of that.
"I have shi- I mean, I have stuff to write. And to get done. If you want to look through my wardrobe and help me put together outfits later, we can, but I don't want to leave my corner right now."
"I cannot say this response is unexpected," the Countess gives me a sly but friendly smile, "so I've prepared something for you in advance. When the time comes to return it to me, I expect you to do so with a cleared schedule and an open mind to fresh aesthetics." She holds out her hand, an intricate set of silver chains dripping from her fingers. "From my personal collection - I expect it will suit you nicely."
I sigh. The sooner I accept, the sooner I can go back to not being scrutinized by six pairs of frustratingly kind eyes. "Thank you. I'll take very good care of it."
Nadia moves the jewelry out of the way as I reach for it. "I desire something in exchange."
"What ... what something?"
"I'd like your sweater, please."
"My hoodie? But it's so comfy!"
Her eyelids droop in poorly concealed annoyance. "Your 'hoodie' is in a severe state of disrepair. I can see the threads poking out from the seams, young man, I don't care to see my prized jewelry hidden under such a tired item."
"... okay." I squirm out of my hoodie, handing over the pile of fabric in exchange for the chains. The short sleeves of my undershirt leave my arms exposed, something that I thought I did more often, except -
"You have tattoos?!" Portia's reaching across the table, snatching up my wrist to get a closer look at the slowly growing sleeve. "That's so cool! I've heard that they can really hurt."
"That's a familiar symbol," Asra eyes the lineart on my upper arm where its stretched across the table in front of them. "What do the other ones mean?"
"There's one on your neck, too!" Lucio sounds almost scandalized. "Let me see it!" Before I know it, my freshly exposed neck and arms are being closely examined while a few more sharp eyes focus in on the hints of ink peeking out on my shoulders and chest. This is why I wear hoodies.
Muriel's quick to notice my discomfort when the attention shifts to my neckline and bound chest. "My turn," he grumbles, dropping a navy blue scarf around my collar.
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it. Now give me the second hoodie."
It's hard not to scowl, but I untie the backup hoodie's sleeves from my waist and hand it over. Dang it. "Here."
"You look chilly, my mentally decaying friend!" Good lord, when is Julian going to stop ribbing me over my pen name?
"It's brainrot." He doesn't falter.
"Allow me to rectify your situation! I guarantee you this trusty cloak will protect you from the fiercest of storms." He pulls the massive, dramatic coat from his shoulders in a rehearsed sweep and twirls it to fall behind me. He keeps the armholes open with an excited grin until I push my hands through them.
"This is ..."
"Warm? Comfortable? Touching?"
"Huge." I can barely hold back my laugh. "There's no way even your arms come out the other end of these sleeves! ... but thanks, I'm definitely not cold any more."
"I'll help you roll them up," Portia chirps. Her nimble fingers make quick work of the endless fabric, and I can see my ink stained hands again in no time. "Now give me your socks."
Oh no. My boots are sitting next to the pile of cushions, my socked feet tucked under me for maximum comfort. It's not the stink I'm worried about - for all my poor fashion sense, I never miss my daily shower, or laundry day - but to say that I walk gently would be a blatant lie. I briefly size up the determined look on her face before sighing and shucking them off under the table. "... remember, you asked for this."
Hey jaw drops. "Please tell me you have at least one pair of socks that don't have holes in them."
I shrug. "As long as I can still wear them ..."
"No!" She slams her hand on the table, rattling the now-empty bread bowl sitting in front of a shameless snack thief. "These aren't socks anymore, they're practically cobwebs! I'm knitting at least five more of these."
She shoves a pair of knit orange socks into my hands, lovingly covered with Pepi's cat hair and decorated with little blue bows. "Put these on, I'm burning the rags you gave me."
We both know my pout is just for show. It's not my usual style to wear anything that isn't black (or very, very dark grey), but the bright orange gift is supremely comfortable when I put it on.
"My turn," Asra begins with an innocent smile.
"Where's my bread?"
The dimples deepen. "Give me your head covering, and I'll tell you."
"My beanie?"
"Is that what it's called?" He holds out his hand, taking a closer look at the shabby knit fabric when I pass it to him. "I don't see why, there aren't any beanlike qualities about it. Ooh, unless they're invisible beans ..."
Nadia's sharp cough sets them back on track. "Wear this instead, until we can find a better replacement." Oh god, tell me it's not -
It is. It's his iconic wide brimmed hat, complete with the oversized neon rainbow feather nodding from the band. I don't have time to protest before they're plopping it onto my head and wobbling it into place with a laugh. "Now you're unnoticeable." I highly doubt that. "As to your bread, Selasi's been asked to bring you some of the next hot batch. Can you forgive me?"
Nothing about a smile as smug as his says "guilty", but to be fair, I was never upset. I nod. "So ... can I go back to writing now?"
"What about me?!" I glance from Lucio's outraged pout to the rest of the group. I'm fairly certain that, even if he was invited to the planning for this, he didn't follow through on deciding which offending article of clothing he wanted to replace. "You didn't tell me I had to bring something!"
Portia rolls her eyes. "Well maybe if you had listened when I was talking to you, then you would've known." I don't miss the quiet smile lurking in the corners of Muriel's face as Lucio turns bright red and sputters.
"Well joke's on you, 'cause I'm going to give him something anyways!" He starts taking a hasty inventory of his outfit. "Yeah, that's right! I'm gonna give him ... I'm gonna give himmmmm ... this!"
He unfastens his smallest medal and leans over the table, poking the pin of it through the thick leather of Julian's jacket, disregarding the whimper of protest from the doctor behind him. "It's supposed to be airtight, to keep out the bad humors ..."
"There!" The ex-count grins down at me proudly. "Now your outfit isn't boring. You can give that back to me when you have a better look."
"Thanks," I tell him, and I mean it after noticing the way he glances forlornly at the new empty spot on his sash. "I'll make sure it gets back to you."
"We should go now." Muriel's already half-turned away. "... I'm still not sure this worked."
Asra steps back to his friend, surveying my new look from a distance. "Maybe this will motivate him to let us fix his look sooner."
"It looks better with my medal on it," Lucio announces proudly. Portia lays a firm hand on his shoulder and starts heading away, dragging him with her.
"You'll look better once you make time for us, promise!"
"You should be somewhat protected from the elements, at least." Julian eyes his cuffed coat critically. "If you fasten it correctly, it's airtight, humors proof, water tight, blood proof, pus proof -"
"We'll leave you in peace." Nadia smiles again, amusement dancing in her eyes every time she looks at me. "I suggest you prioritize finishing this project soon."
The six disappear back into the crowd. I lean back against the stone wall behind me, Asra's hat knocking forward over my eyes and giving me a moment of peace. Sure, I may have looked shabby before in my all black-and-grey, well worn clothes, but now -
I'm startled out of my blissful shuteye by a surprised choke. Selasi's standing by my table, a fresh bowl of spiced rolls in one hand and the other clapped over his mouth. "Would you - would you like a mirror, my friend?"
I hold out my hand for the rolls, mentally taking it as a consolation prize for what I've just been lovingly wrangled into.
"Oh, don't think I'm not aware that you let this happen, Selasi."
#vesuvia weekly#borrowing clothes#ask arcana brainrot#the arcana#the arcana game#the arcana fanfic#asra the arcana#julian the arcana#nadia the arcana#muriel the arcana#portia the arcana#lucio the arcana#asra alnazar#julian devorak#nadia satrinava#muriel of the kokhuri#portia devorak#lucio morgasson
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Miraculous Ladybug doesnât deserve Marinette. Someone save her and place her in a different show
I swear I've heard that some of the crew, and maybe Zag himself, actually were tempted to have Chloe be the lead instead. I know Winnie was a big Chlodrien shipper, I don't know if he still is, but given how much attention and leeway the narrative gives her, yeah might as well let Chloe be the lead.
Marinette exists to be the ideal lead to learn all the lessons and be the punching bag.
If you don't like her, and you're not going to make changes to make her likable for you, why have her as the lead? Yeah, just let her go. The fandom will take her. We took in Felix who was "the worst", we can take in Marinette.
I will say, s6 may be the chance of change and maybe improvement? Cause Thomas Astruc will no longer be apart of ML post s5. That for sure means a change in Adrien as a character and his writing, as I heard that only Thomas was allowed to write Adrien cause every other writer wanted to have Adrien react and get upset with his father and how he treats him but Thomas wanted him sad boy constantly bowing his head.
So now, s6 and onwards, we'll probably see Adrien with a backbone.
And by extension, no Thomas pushing his vision and agenda, that does mean the crew and Zag can now make the desired changes they want to make. Marinette I would see still sticking around as she's very iconic as a lead, but there may be some personality changes.
But at this time, it is hard to say how it's going to go.
I will say the movie over all was actually really good and I'd stand by that, at this time, it's the definitive Miraculous to watch: the HM arc is resolved in one setting, there is LS fluff but it doesn't take over the focus, and it gave us the Agreste plot resolution we wanted to see.
Only real gripes are supporting characters are more set to the wayside, especially Alya, Nino, and Plagg; presumably we're going to get a sequel, so maybe with the LS out of the way, reveal done, and dating, that sequel will focus on Alya, Nino, and I guess Chloe more. Or maybe it'll be Sabrina since the movie actually took a stance on Sabrina's feelings around Chloe and how she feels about Chloe treating others. So there is potential there for something more to be done with Sabrina.
I am also bummed about the concept opening scenes getting cut as those were so good for the Dupain-Cheng family.
Either way, with the movie coming out actually being good, there is a chance that s6 could be the start of Miraculous' quality improvement with Thomas Astruc's absence. It really could be that he's one of those creatives that had a good vision, but poor execution of it.
A part of me also wouldn't be surprised if Zag took the chance to hit the reboot button and start over, and milk it more. I don't think it'd happen but it's in that realm of possibility.
So with s5 done and Thomas Astruc no longer involved, this is the time for Zag and the crew to make any changes they want, for better or for worse. Until it starts airing, we just got to wait and see.
#ask Punchie#technically this is their time to cut Marinette as a lead#but I don't think they will as she is the face of the franchise#but who knows#ml salt#thomas astruc salt
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Kimura Delivery Service: Pt. 1
Pairing: OC x S.W.O.R.D leaders (yes, you read that right)
Genre: smut, fluff, angst,
Word Count: 9k
Fandom: High & Low: The Story of S.W.O.R.D
Summary: After a life of swinging her fists, Sakyia is hopeful about her easy going job of delivering packagesâŠHowever, her aunt neglected to mention the âregularsâ: The gang leaders of S.W.O.R.D. and the undeniable affection they all grow to have for her.
Overall Warnings: blood and violence, fighting, gang activity, crime, mentions of death, multiple relationships, girlboss being a girlboss, not really âpolyâ but girl has a string of lovers.
Prologue < | > Part 2
Tagged: @belle643
Chapter 1: S is for Sannoh Hoodlum Squad
The apartment above the store was smaller than her old home, but it looked cozy. Even with the old furniture, chipped wallpaper and musty carpet underneath her feet, she felt a sense of warmth throughout the room. Looking around, theyâd certainly have to fix it up to be comfortable. With a separate bedroom on the side, the bathroom remained the only other room. She figured her and her mother would be sharing a room until they could afford a bigger place. She didnât mind. It was better than having no bed at all. She opened a window to let out the stuffy air, and saw the spectacular viewâŠ
A small courtyard and the opposite building behind them.Â
When her mother and aunt came back up, Sakyia noticed theyâd brought two young men with them. One was tall with long black dreadlocks, and his companion was darker and shorter. She guessed these were Junpeiâs friends. The boy with the dreadlocks smiled when he saw her, then nudged his friend, who also grinned.Â
âSakyia,â Hana said, âIâd like you to meet Tettsu,â the tall one waved, âAnd Dan,â the short one bowed slightly. âThey come and help me from time to time.â
âBecause Junpei tells them too.â
âCobra doesnât force us to do anything,â Tettsu immediately said, placing down one of their boxes. âWeâre always here for our neighborhood. Itâs what Sannoh Hoodlum Squad is about: protecting and caring for the town.â
She tried to stifle a laugh, âSannoh Hoodlum Squad? Thatâs your gangâs name?â It wasnât the worst name sheâd ever heard.Â
âYeah,â he replied. âCobra is our leader.â
âHis nickname is âCobraâ?â she snickered, picking up the box of kitchen items. âIt would be.âÂ
âSakyia!â Midori furrowed her brow, âStop being rude.â
âIâm not being rude,â she put it on the counter, giggling softly, âJust voicing an opinion. You told me Sannoh is a good place to live.â
âIt is,â Dan told her reassuringly. âYouâll see once youâre settled in. Sannoh Hoodlum Squad isnât like the ones youâre probably used to seeing. We take care of our people.â
âYou can come to the diner and see for yourself,â Tettsu suggested. âItâs called the Itokan Diner.â
âOoh! That sounds nice!â Midori said. âIs it a new place? I havenât been home in such a long time; everythingâs changed around here.â
The pair began explaining it to her as Sakyia helped unload the car downstairs. They seemed nice, but most gangsters did. However, looking them both over, and listening to them talk, they did not seem the type to be in gangs. They were friendly and helpful to her aunt, who appreciated them enough to offer rice balls the next time they came. They didnât brag or flaunt any fancy things theyâd bought. Should she have passed them in the street, theyâd appear like any normal youths. Sakyia knew more than most that appearances can be deceiving. She decided sheâd leave her judgment for more contemplative hours; she had work to do.Â
Sakyia spent the rest of the day putting things away and trying to make something of a home in the apartment. She made shelf space for her art supplies and books; her mother brought small potted plants to place along the window sill for some life. Family photos went on shelves and walls; theyâd put her fatherâs remains in an ornate wooden box on the bedroom dresser. By the time theyâd finished, night fell and the apartment seemed less empty and shabby.Â
âWe need food,â her mother frowned when she saw the empty fridge. âIâll order take out for tonight. Burgers, Blossom?âÂ
âI guess,â she shrugged.Â
âDonât get burgers,â Hana said, unpacking the last kitchen box. âThereâs a perfectly good diner down from here that serves way better food.â
âThat diner your friends mentioned?â asked Sakyia.Â
âYouâll love their food,â she insisted. âNaomi is such a great cook, and the prices are reasonable.â Midori looked at Sakyia with raised eyebrows, and Sakyia shrugged again. They turned to Hana who nodded, âIâll place the order. Sakyia can go pick it up. You can walk there, itâs not too far.â
âUgh, Auntie,â she groaned, plopping onto the couch. She let her body sink into it as she said, âIâm so tired. Canât they deliver?â
âThey donât do that,â Hana replied. âStop being lazy. Youâre young. Besides, Junpei might be there.â
âUm okay, so?â
She caught her mother and her aunt looking at one another. She groaned and let her head fall back on the couch. It was inevitable that this would come up: Cobra was a young man. Sakyia was a young woman, new in town. âHeâs a man of few words, but heâs very nice-â Hana began, but Sakyia cut her off.Â
â-I literally just arrived,â she said. âIâm not looking for a boyfriend. Iâm looking to sit down and never get back up again.â
âWe werenât thinking that at all,â her mother said unconvincingly. She grabbed a bottle of wine that Hana brought, and said, âYour aunt was telling us what a nice young man Junpei is, thatâs all.â
âMh-hm, your mom keeps complaining to me about how youâre always at home, you donât go to school, you donât have a lot of friends-â
â-Well, I wasnât really in a place to make any friends.â
No, she hadnât been. Yes, thereâd been fighters she became friendly with in the warehouse, but nobody she saw outside of the place. Twelve years fighting on dirt and sawdust, her hands and wrists wrapped up, forged her into something. A weapon. Jiro took up most of her time, so she never went out with friends or her mother all that much. The one person she'd grown closest to sat in a Rasen prison cell. Sakyia recalled the times sheâd tried fitting in with girls at her school: going shopping, wearing makeup and pretty clothes; talking about boys they liked and things they did over the weekend. She wanted that life. She wanted a circle of friends who stuck by her side, and lifted her up. Often, she imagined going shopping with a group of friends, and visiting her mother's salon togethet.Â
But, Jiro pulled her away from that to fight in the pits. Plus, the bruises kept people at a distance. Thinking of the endless fights night after night already tired her out. She withdrew the small sketchpad from her bag with a pencil, and returned to her drawing.Â
She was done with fighting. She did not mind a bit of practice to keep herself in shape, but fighting people? Sakyia refused to do it ever again. Sheâd wasted her life on pointless fighting. Sheâd only done it because of Jiro; otherwise she mightâve given up on it entirely and focused on her art. Martial arts used to be something her father and her shared. When he died, it felt meaningless to continue. Sakyia looked forward to helping her mother in the salon, doing simple tasks and meeting people. Maybe she can enroll in a beauty school and become a stylist herself. She could still go, if she wanted; she was only twenty-five. She still had so much ahead, and with Jiro and the warehouse gone, she could be something more than that.
â-Alright, sheâll come by to pick it up,â Hana said over the phone. âThank you, Naomi. Have a good night.â She turned back to Midori and Sakyia by the television, âAlright you, time to go. Hereâs the address,â she scribbled it down on a piece of paper and handed it to Sakyia, âShe says itâll be done in thirty minutes or so.âÂ
âThen, Iâll go in thirty minutes.âÂ
âNo, young lady,â said Midori, picking up her glass of wine from the coffee table. âYouâll go now. That way itâll be hot when you bring it back.â
âYou two just want me out of the house so you can have the wine to yourselves,â Sakyia accused, putting her pad and pencil aside.Â
âThatâs right,â she smiled, pouring her sister a glass. âI havenât drank properly since I married Jiro,â she said to Hana. âHe said he thought women drinking was an ugly trait. I canât believe I actually listened to him.â
âI canât believe you married him!â said Hana, sitting on the sofa between her and Sakyia.Â
This was her cue to leave. She slowly stood from the couch, slipped on her jacket and shoes, and headed out the door. Once outside, she entered the address into her phone and began walking. The sky started changing from day into night, and she saw businesses already closing. She did receive curious looks from locals whoâd never seen her, but she nodded politely. Walking down the street, Sannoh did not seem like such a rough place. It did appear a bit run down in places, yet she liked that. It felt real. Sakyia saw herself living in this small town. She could inherit the salon or start her own art gallery and sell her drawings, if they were good enough. She smiled softly. This could be a good place for her and her mother.
She found the Itokan Diner wedged in a corner of the street with a small sign bearing its name in bold letters. Sakyia took a deep breath, and then pushed on the door. Her stomach growled at the scent of savory food in the air. She took a look around the small diner: it had bench tables, posters and words plastered on the walls, and chandeliers made from glass bottles. The rustic, comforting look must draw in a good amount of people during the night. She then noticed the room going quiet when she walked in.Â
âHey, Sakyia!â Tettsu called to her from one of the tables, âYou actually came!â
âUm, yeah,â she said, caught off guard by his grin, âMy aunt ordered some food and Iâm picking it up.âÂ
Behind the counter, a short slim woman with brown hair stirred a pot over the stove. Sakyia guessed this was Naomi, the woman her aunt mentioned. She turned around when the door opened and smiled at Sayika.Â
"You must be Sakyia," she said. "Hana said you'd be coming by to pick up the food. It won't be ready for a while, so if you want to sit and have a drink, you're welcome to."
"Thanks," she took a seat at the bar. "They kicked me out so they can have all the wine to themselves. What do you have to drink around here?"
"Beer mostly," she replied.Â
Beer wasn't her favorite, but she asked for one. She gazed around the diner and noticed a drawing on the wall. It was a crown with two tigers on either side with the gang's name on a banner. She snorted. It was a decent design. She'd still seen worse. She took a swig from the beer Naomi placed in front of her and noted the photos on a shelf nearby. Two men stood together in front of a familiar logo on the wall. Two snakes tangled together in a circle underneath the words "Mugen" was a familiar sight to her.
"This used to be Mugenâs place?" the question came out before she stopped herself.Â
Naomi finished wiping a glass and said, "Ah, no. My brother, Tatsuya, was in it before he started the diner. The other man was his best friend, Kohaku. Why? Did you know them?"Â
"Not personally, but guys in the warehouse used to wear their vests and talk about them." She took another drink of beer when Naomi moved closer to her.
"Warehouse?"
She'd said too much. If this woman's brother was part of Mugen, she might not know about their part in the fighting rings. "I used to be a secretary in a warehouse in the bay area. With so many men around, they all try to impress you and say they know guys in Mugen or are a part of it."
"A lot of guys used to do that," said a male voice behind her.Â
She turned to see a dark haired man sitting not too far away, his own plate of food in front of him. His wide shoulders slimmed down his torso, though hidden behind the green sweater he wore. Judging by his face, he didn't like what Sakyia was saying.Â
"Doesn't mean Kohaku was involved," he said. "Guys in Mugen used its name to do bad things like deal drugs and women. But we weren't involved in that."
"Never said they did," she replied, a bit taken back by his reaction. "Just things I heard." She noticed another photo with Cobra and the other man with the first two. They also wore Mugen vests. It explained the man's reaction.Â
"She was only saying, Yamato. She didn't mean anything by it," Naomi defended her.Â
Men were so sensitive. She wondered what Yamato might say if she told him that Mugen members liked to fight and bet in the warehouse. Drinking her beer, she remembered a boy she'd fought who boasted about being part of Mugen. He made it sound as if she should've been scared of him. Sakyia would admit he dislocated her shoulder, broke her upper lip, bruised up her stomach and nearly choked her, but she'd beat him. He lost when a swift kick to the temple knocked him out. Sakyia smirked to herself. She recalled what she'd said to his manager.Â
"It appears that Mugen isn't as tough as they say."Â Â
"You were a part of Mugen, then?" she asked.Â
"Cobra and Yamato were," said Tettsu, coming over to her side, "But the rest of us joined them when they started the Sannoh Hoodlum Squad."
"Is there a signup sheet or something? How do you even join a gang?" The idea amused her. Naomi laughed as she turned back to the stove.Â
"Well, um, you sort of show up to the base and, kind of, join?"Â
"Why? Are you interested?" a deep voice asked from nearby.
She turned around to see Cobra sitting in a corner booth, a motorcycle magazine in front of him. In the dim lighting of the diner, his hair shone a dark gold color and softened his features. She understood her mother's suggestion at once. Even Sakyia wouldn't deny it: he was handsome. He didn't smile and spoke in a low voice.Â
"What if I was?" she asked, leaning back on the bar. "Do you accept women?"
The men in the bar laughed, but Cobra gazed at her. She tried not showing her uneasiness at his silent staring. His eyes remained absent the usual flirtatiousness; they observed her closely, as if they could see through her act. He studied her and she didn't like it. It reminded her too much of the men at the warehouse, who examined her like a horse for sale. The men who trained her said she had a slim body good for dodging and speed. She often fought men and women larger than her and her size came in handy. Cobra looked at her the way they did now.Â
"Depends," he said, "How good of a fighter are you?"
"Fighter?" Dan furrowed his brow.Â
Yamato turned to him in surprise, "What do you mean by that? She's a girl."
"That doesn't mean she couldn't fight any of you," said Naomi, who continued stirring her noodles. "She's got the body for it. Sheâs smaller and probably quicker than you, Baldy."
âHag,â Yamato spat back, though his smile gave away the affection.Â
"Oh, I can't fight to save my life," Sakyia fibbed, finishing her beer. "I can't do all that fancy, tough guy martial arts stuff that guys do nowadays." It wasn't anyone's business what she could and couldn't do. Her father used to tell her not to show off or boast about her skills; that way she had the element of surprise. "I don't mind watching though. Itâs kinda hot when guys fight each other," she added, winking at him. She expected a reaction, but didn't get one. He continued staring, and she stared right back. "What about you guys? What's your gang all about?"
"We protect the town," Cobra said. "There are other gangs around here who like hurting people and stealing. We stop them. We look after each other and make sure everyone is safe."
"How admirable. Most gangs I know deal drugs and fight all the time."
"Don't be fooled," said Naomi, putting rice into a small styrofoam container. "These guys use their fists to solve their problems all the time. You won't believe the amount of times they walk in here all bruised up and bleeding."
"But we win," Yamato quickly added, digging back into a hot plate of food.Â
"Thatâs not why we fight though,â said Cobra, going back to his magazine. âWe fight hard because this town is worth fighting for. We all came together because of that shared love for our town. If you stick around long enough, you'll see it for yourself."
"Who could possibly want to mess with this little place?" she asked, the smell of the food making her hungry again. "There isn't anything here."
"People who want to step on the weak," he said. "The people who steal from those who already have nothing."Â
âI suppose my mom and I should be glad we moved into such a well protected area then,â she said, smirking at his righteous statement. She found it funny how serious he sounded. âSo, do I call you if I ever need âprotectionâ or do you guys operate like Batman, and you happen to show up at the right time?â
The younger members chuckled at the joke, but stopped once Cobra stood up. All the nerves inside Sakyia lifted her shoulders slightly. She didnât want to fight. Cobra came a few feet to her, then said, âI donât think someone like you needs protection in the first place.â
âMeaning?â
âYou claim you donât know how to fight,â he said, âBut then explain the scars on your knuckles.âÂ
Sakyia looked at the hand on the bar, where a long scar stood out against her skin amongst smaller ones. âAccident,â she answered quickly. âItâs how I got this too, if you were planning on mentioning it,â she tapped the thin scar where Yoshi busted her nose. It healed well enough, but left a mark. âI was riding on a motorcycle with a friend, and it turned over. I broke my knuckle bone and my nose. Nothing suspicious about that.âÂ
Cobraâs seriousness broke into a shadow of amusement. âIâve been riding my motorcycle for years. Iâve never seen people get such specific injuries from an accident.âÂ
âAre you some kind of motorcycle accident expert or something?â she spat back, âI got them from an accident, thatâs it.âÂ
"Your mom said she was opening up Sungmi's salon," Tettsu said, taking your attention from Cobra and his questions. "Will you be working there too?"Â
"Yeah," she nodded, peeling her eyes away from Cobra. "I'm not a stylist or anything, but she says I can clean and do reception."
Naomi came to her holding three styrofoam boxes. "Oh, she's opening back up the salon?"
"She'll be helping run it, yeah."
"Thank god!" She sighed in relief, "All the women around here have been going to the barber because the salonâs closed. It'd be nice to get a proper haircut."
"And a manicure or pedicure," Sakyia added. "My mom is hiring some nail artists to bring in more clients. She's going to have it properly running in a week or so. She actually does my hair," she showed off her short wavy bob, the ombre colors of brown and black fading out. "You should stop by when it's open."
"I definitely will," she said, "And I know plenty of other women who will stop by."
"I can come too," Tettsu chimed in eagerly.Â
"Salons are for women, Tettsu," Yamato rolled his eyes.Â
"There's nothing wrong with a man going to a salon," Sakyia said to him. "Same as a woman going to a barber shop.â
"Then I will come by," Tettsu smiled. "And you can come to my family's onsen."
"Your family's bathhouse is for men," Naomi told him.Â
"We could make a private space for her."Â
Sakyia chuckled, "The offer is nice, but no thank you."Â
"Well, if you change your mindâŠ" he blushed, turning away. âYou can just, you know, drop by or whatever.â
"What's with your nickname anyways?" She turned to Cobra again. She hated how heâd seen her scars and deduced their cause. She needed to prod him back. Her mother might scold her, but she didnât care. "Is it supposed to compensate for something?"
Yamato nearly choked on his food. Dan and Tettsu stifled laughter and Naomi busied herself with putting the food in take out bags. Cobra didn't smile but he didn't glare either. His lack of reactions had begun to annoy her. Also, his stare made her squirm inside.Â
"In school," he said, smiling somewhat when he saw she wasn't being malicious, "There was this grapple I learned how to do. People said I did it so tight, it was like a cobra squeezing them. Someone said it and the name stuck," he shrugged.Â
"Maybe you can show me," she suggested, picking up the plastic bags Naomi handed her. "You know, since this town is so dangerous and I'm a defenseless woman wandering the streets at night."Â
Yamato gawked at her, "Wow, this girl's bold!"Â
âI doubt youâre defenseless,â Cobra smirked.Â
She tried not laughing at their reactions. She paid for the food and drink, thanked Naomi and said her farewell. Once outside, she giggled to herself. Men were so easily shocked by bold behavior. They seemed like a decent group. She decided she might stop by the diner more often.Â
That was how people made friends, right?
When she returned to the shop, she climbed the stairs and heard her mother laughing behind it. Sakyia stood outside the door for a moment to listen. She hadnât heard her motherâs laugh for a long time. Full of mirth and giddiness, sheâs sure the wine is helping it along but Auntie Hanaâs presence adds to this. A surge of hope actually swirled in her chest. Maybe things will work out for them in this little town.Â
âMa, Iâm back,â she called into the apartment as she entered.Â
âOh, good! Weâre starving!â Hana sighed in relief, coming to the kitchen counter where Sakyia placed the bags. She began opening the bags, deeply inhaling the food, âPerfect. Naomi is a great cook. Youâre both going to love her food.â
âOkay, okay, letâs get to eating.â
Her mother grabbed utensils, and passed them around. Sitting at the small dining table next to the kitchen, the women dug into their meals. Sakyia agreed with her aunt about the food: it was delicious. The tender chunks of meat stew melted in her mouth, full of seasonings and spices that complimented the bed of rice underneath. Only her motherâs own cooking surpassed it. Dipping a piece of broccoli in the sauce and eating it, her mother spoke.Â
âSakyia,â she began, âYour aunt and I have been talking while you were gone.â
âUh-oh.â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â Hana asked, affronted.Â
âBecause whenever she starts a sentence with âyour aunt and I have been talkingâ, itâs about to be something crazy.â
âAh, hush you,â her mother nudged her with a smile. âI know we talked about you working with me in the salon, but Hana here told me sheâs been looking for a delivery person for the store.â
âOkayâŠâ she listened, eating another piece of saucy steamed vegetables.Â
âI think itâd be a better fit for you,â she stated, eating a bit of her own rice. âYouâd be bored in the salon. You used to whine and wail about it when you were little, and you havenât changed since then. Going around the districts, seeing the different places and meeting new people might be better for you. Youâd be occupied and stimulated instead of sweeping floors and listening to gossip.âÂ
âI wanted to sweep floors and listen to gossip,â she said. After the years she spent in the rings, sheâd somewhat looked forward to âboring mundane workâ.Â
âNo, you didnât,â her mother said. âYou only want that because of, you know, your lastâŠjob.â She watched her daughter for a moment, seeing the way she avoided her gaze. âItâd be good for you,â she added. âYou might make some friends that way and have a normal life.âÂ
It sounded convincing, she wouldnât lie. Sakyia knew deep down sheâd get tired of working in the salon. Itâd been the same during her childhood. She looked at Hana, âWhat would I be doing? Just delivering stuff to people?â
âYes,â she nodded, drinking some of her wine. âPeople drop off their packages or send them in through other people; I charge and stamp them, and youâd take them where they need to go. Before you ask, a lot of these people donât have the means or the time to give the packages and letters themselves. The family service is there to help them out. Besides, itâs good money,â she eyed them both before eating from her bowl. âItâll help you greatly to have two incomes instead of one.â
âSheâs got a point,â her mother agreed, washing down her food with water. âItâll be good for us to have extra money coming in; then weâll be able to get our own place quicker.â
Sakyia mulled this over while she ate. Her mother and her left their old home in a hurry, leaving them with little chances to find a proper and affordable place. If they save enough money, they can move into an apartment and leave the dingy flat above the postal shop.Â
âHow would I get around?â Sakyia asked, seeing the flaw right away.Â
âYou can use Koichiâs scooter,â she said. âHe left it behind when he moved out of town. Itâs in the courtyard between our building and the ones behind it.â She saw Sakyiaâs hesitancy. âItâll be good for you. Trust me. Not to mention,â she smirked to herself, âSome of my regulars are rather handsome.â
âOoh!â her mother smiled, eyebrows raised at Sakyia.Â
âIâm not interested in that.âÂ
âOh please! A heartbreaker like you? I doubt it,â she rapped her arm and Sakyia smirked. âI remember all the little boys your mother used to tell me about; all of them trying to gain the attention of Tanaka Sakyia and being ignored. You donât have to marry them, but,â she sneered, âIt doesnât hurt to have some fun.â
âMy daughter is not that kind of girl, Hana.â
âI never said she was, but come on, Midori. We used to do the same when we were her age. You didnât have a proper boyfriend until you met Kenji. But, thatâs not important,â she said. âThe job is easy and simple. The clients tip well for the service, and theyâll tip twice when they see how pretty you are. You wonât be fighting anyone or be in any sort of danger.â When Sakyia did not appear convinced, she continued, âLook, try it out for a week. I have clients around the district here, so youâll at least get familiar with the area before you make a decision. How about it?âÂ
Sakyia weighed the pros and cons of this job. Itâd include a lot of travel and talking to strangers, going into places of the district sheâd yet to explore. Yet, sheâd be making her own money, and contributing to her home rather than sweep floors and take calls in a salon for free. This new job will give her something to do, since little Sannoh did not appear to offer much. She looked to her mother, who smiled at her encouragingly. Sakyia felt slightly disappointed. Boring work sounded so nice. No bloody fists. No broken bones or bruised skin. No rings. Sheâd have only a broom and dustpan; a phone and a computer to write down appointments. With this little bike and parcels, she may run into trouble, which she wished to avoid. But, looking around their new home, they needed the money.Â
âIâll give it a shot,â she finally said. âHow hard can it really be?âÂ
Hana cheered and smiled widely, âExcellent! Oh, youâre gonna love it! Itâll be an easy gig for you, I promise.â
âYouâll do well,â her mother added, gripping her hand gently.Â
âI hope so.âÂ
The three women finished their dinner, and then Hana left for the night. Sakyia felt too tired to unpack anything else, so she showered in the small bathroom and crashed onto her new bed. The full mattress squeaked, and felt slightly firm underneath her. It was better than nothing. Her mother took the bed on the other side of the room, and both of them fixed their beds for sleep.Â
âI think this will be good for us,â her mother said, her voice breaking the silence in the dark room. âThis is the new beginning we needed. No debt collectors. No punks. No Jiro. Just you and me and this shabby apartment.âÂ
Sakyia smiled to herself, turning her head to look at her mother a few feet away. âWeâll find a way to make this apartment a home, until we find our own. Youâll buy Sungmiâs salon and have your own business again.âÂ
âAnd maybe youâll finally make friends.â She then hesitated, âPossibly even boyfriends.â
âBoyfriends?â she scoffed. âAs if.â
âEh, well, youâre a lot more popular with boys than youâve ever realized. Jiro kept you so close and isolated, you never noticed the boys. Maybe now that youâre older youâll become the little heartbreaker your father said youâd be,â she snickered at the last point.Â
She snorted, pulling the covers to her chin. âHe never said that.â
âHe did,â she insisted. âHe kept saying heâd have to train more to fight off the line of boys thatâll be at our door.â She then said, âJust make sure heâs a nice boy? You know, who comes from a good family, has a job, is kind and gentle with you. A real gentleman.â
âOh, Ma, can we stop the boyfriend talk, please?â
Midori laughed at her daughterâs groaning, remembering briefly how her husband used to do the same. âAlright, fine. Goodnight, Blossom.â
âNight, Ma.âÂ
****
Her mother busy with setting up the salon and acquainting herself with employees, sheâd left Sakyia to her own devices. She ate a quick breakfast of leftovers and washed up. Pulling on her fatherâs bomber jacket, dark navy and worn in the seams, she tied up half of her hair and went downstairs to find stacks of parcels left on the counter. Hana moved around them, smiling at her.Â
âAh good, youâre here,â she said, kissing Sakyiaâs cheek. âI got some packages that need to be sent as soon as possible. Donât worry, I picked out local places so you can get familiar with Sannoh first. That way, if you decide you donât want the job, my regulars wonât be accustomed to you.â
âSounds good to me,â she nodded. âWhat do I do with them? Can that little bike hold all these?â
Hana began explaining the job to her. People normally made calls to have packages picked up or dropped off from one place to another. Sakyia only needed to drop it off, have them sign for it, and she went on to the next place. To pick up orders, sheâd have to go to the address on the appointment sheet, and make sure to be there on time since the longer she took, the lower her tip is likely to be. The job sounded easy enough, especially with the bike in the back.Â
âHere it is,â Hana led her to the courtyard behind the shop, each woman carrying stacks of boxes.Â
Against a wall leant an aquamarine and white motor scooter. The previous owner painted orange and red flames on the back, and plastered bumper stickers that were later scratched off. Sakyia never rode one before, but it could not be much different from a motorcycle, which she knew how to navigate decently. Attached to the back was a wire cart, which she guessed added extra space for parcels.Â
âItâs not the fanciest thing in the world,â Hana said, putting her stack carefully in the cart. âBut it runs well. If you ever have trouble, thereâs a little mechanic shop in town where you can go. Yamato is very good at fixing bikes.âÂ
She recalled Yamato from the previous night. âHm, noted,â she said, adding hers beside them.Â
âHere are the keys,â she handed her a small set of keys. âThe first place on your list is the Dan Convenience store. The owner is a good friend, but heâs too busy with the store to pick them up. Make sure they get there in one piece.âÂ
Sakyia looked at the clipboard her aunt put on top of the parcels. On it were several names, addresses, and times to be delivered. Her aunt mustâve spent the early morning making phone calls to get them. She supposed she should start right away. Putting on the matching helmet hanging off the handle, she guided the bike around the side of the shop and onto the street. She typed the address into her navigation app, and saw a clear path to the little store. She planted herself firmly on the seat, nerves starting to numb her fingers and toes as she turned on the engine. It hummed to life underneath her, and she pressed the pedal to jolt forward. The first few starts startled her, but once she finally turned onto the street, she got the hang of it. Thankfully, years of maintaining balance helped.Â
The app took her to a small store a few blocks away. It appeared to be the typical convenience store, with the wide windows displaying special deals or sales. She turned off the bike and removed her helmet. She went over what sheâd say as she picked up the first of the big boxes. A simple âhello, package for youâ might be a good start. It did not need to be a whole conversation. Though, being the newcomer in town, she might have to actually have a conversation. Sheâd done fine the other night in the diner. This wonât be any different. Keep things easy. Keep things flowing.Â
âWelcome!â Two voices said in unison.Â
Twin girls stood up from the register counter, hands behind their backs and formally bowing their heads when she walked in. She noticed they wore pink and black jackets, and long pink aprons. They were also tall. They almost towered over her.Â
âUm, good morning,â Sakyia said, âI have some packages for the ownerâŠâ she looked at the name on her clipboard, âDan?â
âDanâs not the owner,â said the twin with long brown hair.Â
âHis dad is,â said her sister, who had shorter hair in two braids.Â
âHeâs not here right now.â
âYou can leave the packages with us.â
âAlrightâŠâ she said, but then someone else came up.Â
âOh, Sakyia, youâre here.â
It was Dan, one of the Sannoh members, she remembered. Tall with black hair parted to the side, he gave her a smile as he wiped his hands on his apron.Â
âMorning, Dan,â she said, showing she hadnât forgotten his name. âI take it by the name, this is your familyâs store?â
âYes, it is,â he nodded, taking the box from her carefully. âMy dadâs not here, but I can sign for the packages.â
âOkay, good.âÂ
She handed him the clipboard, and stared around the store. She recalled the empty fridge back home, and considered picking up some of the basics. Sakyia knew she had time in between locations to put the things back home. âDo you sell ready-to-eat meals?â she heard herself ask, peeking the fridges along the wall.Â
âWe do,â he nodded, handing her the clipboard. âWe sell lots of things here for a lady on the go,â she noticed his friendly smile, âAs well as necessities.â
âHm, good,â she nodded. âMy mom and I moved in yesterday, and neither of us has had time to shop.â She checked her phone for the time. She could do a bit of shopping.Â
âOh, so youâre the newcomer,â said the long-haired twin. âNaomi mentioned you. Iâm Oshiage-â
â-And Iâm Shiba,â said the short-haired one. âShe said your motherâs a hairstylist-â
â-And that sheâs opening up Sungmiâs salon.â
Did they always do that? Sakyia nodded slowly, âYeah, sheâs working there. Sheâs really good at what she does. Her salon back home was really popular.âÂ
âWhere was, um, home?â Dan asked, hands in his back pockets. âMs. Kimura mentioned you came from another district.â
âChikuni Bay,â she answered. âWe lived near the warehouse district by the water until we had to move.âÂ
âGosh, it mustâve been nice living by the water,â he smiled, gazing over her face. Why was he doing that? It unnerved her.Â
âSheâs not interested,â said Shiba, irritably.Â
âStop being a creep.â
âIâm not being a creep!â he exclaimed, mouth agape and a blush tinging his cheeks. âIâm only being friendly, thatâs all. Sheâs new and as part of the Sannoh Hoodlum Squad, itâs my duty to make people feel welcome here.â
They rolled their eyes together, unconvinced by his argument. âI think Iâll go, um, get the rest of the boxes-â she began to say, backing away to the doors.Â
â-No, no, Iâll get them,â Dan insisted. âYou can take a look around the shop in the meantime.â
âAlright, thanks.â
She left him to get the packages, while she picked up a basket. Scanning the different aisles, she picked out bread and fruits for the home. Sheâd been looking at the refrigerated area, examining the different types of ready-to-eat meals on the shelves, when she heard another person enter the store.Â
âHey Junko,â the twins said together.Â
âHey Twin Towers.â
Sakyia did not really pay much mind to the women who walked into the store. Sheâd been deciding between a curry meal or a bento box when footsteps approached. The chicken curry and rice sounded more to her motherâs taste. Sheâd be fine with a bento.
âHey,â a voice caught her attention. She looked to see two girls dressed in black with long pink and white jackets standing a few feet from her. The one with the short black hair seemed to have spoken. âYouâre Ms. Kimuraâs niece?â
âI am,â she nodded, putting the two items in her basket. âWho are you?â
âIâm Junko,â she said. âThis is Asuka,â she nodded to the girl wearing a long ponytail behind her. âWeâre part of Ichigo Milku.â
âStrawberry milk?âÂ
âItâs our favorite drink,â said Asuka. âIt's our gang name.â
Ah, another Sannoh gang. âThatâsâŠcool,â Sakyia said, âI wasnât aware Sannoh had a girl gang.â
âWeâre the only ones,â Junko said proudly. âWe take care of the women in Sannoh, and make sure theyâre safe.âÂ
âHow admirable,â she checked her time again, and saw she was running out. âIt was nice meeting you guys, but I gotta check out and then get back on my route.âÂ
âWe heard your momâs opening up Sungmiâs salon,â Junko said. âIs she any good?â
âSheâs amazing,â she told them honestly. âShe does my hair all the time.â Like with Naomi, she showed them her hair cut. âItâs faded out, but she retouches it for me when she has the time,â she added, in case they thought the dye job was bad. She walked over to the register, putting down her items. It wasnât much, but enough to get them until they could shop together. âSheâs hired nail artists too, if you all are interested in that,â she said, âand all the old stylists that used to work there before Sungmi left.â
âThat sounds great!â Asuka beamed, âIâve been dying to get my nails done!â
âUs too!â the two twins said.Â
They began scanning her items when she spotted the cupcake display. Vanilla and chocolate cupcakes with different colored frosting and sprinkles lined a small case by the register. They looked good. Sakyia could not remember the last time she ate anything sweet. Jiro often kept her on a strict diet, and prohibited sweets. She knew if he stood next to her, heâd sharply scold her for thinking about it. It made her want one even more.
â-Junko,â Asuka whispered her name and nodded to the door.Â
Sakyia saw Junkoâs hard exterior melt once she looked at the door. She turned to see Cobra walking into the shop, hands in his pockets. Sakyia guessed Junko liked him by how she stared at him with dreamy eyes. It reminded her of the girls she used to know in school. She recalled how they acted around boys they liked, and the stupid things they did to get his attention. Sakyia never had time to care about boys; Jiro took up most of it. Cobra noticed them all in the shop, and his eyes locked with hers for a moment. He was as broody today as heâd been last night. Still such a mystery to her.Â
âMorning,â she said politely, nodding her head at him.Â
âMorning, Sakyia.â
He took a spot behind her in line, and she noticed the nervous glances Junko and the other girls gave one another. She turned back to the twins, who finished scanning and bagging her meager selection.Â
âYouâre taking up Koichiâs job then?â Cobra asked her, much to the shock of the other girls.Â
âI am,â she nodded, fishing for her wallet in her jacket pocket. âIt helps out my auntâs business and gives me a little extra money.â
âIâm glad Hanaâs back in business,â he said. âHer service helps a lot of people in Sannoh.âÂ
âAnd helps me out at the same time,â she said, trying her best to joke. He made her nervous with his stare and his handsome face and his presence. She looked at the dessert display again. âHow much are the cupcakes?â she asked the twins.Â
â216 yen each,â said Shiba.
She sucked her teeth. Her slight against Jiro would have to wait another day. She paid for everything, and stepped aside. Another check of her phone told her she needed to get going before her next appointment. She hated her impulsive decisions. Dan having removed his packages, she had space for her bags.Â
âIâll see you all around,â she said. Thatâs something friendly people say, donât they?Â
âSee ya, Sakyia!â said Asuka and the twins.Â
âBye Sakyia!â Dan popped out from the back with a wide smile. âCome back whenever you want, really!â
âUgh, youâre so pathetic, Dan,â said one of the twins.Â
Junko seemed too transfixed on Cobra, who only nodded at Sakyia. She felt his eyes on her still as she left the shop. It bothered her so damn much. Why did he have to stare? It made her hot under the collar, and her cheeks flushed pink. She set her bags down inside securely, then looked to see that she needed to get to her next location soon. She entered the next address on her phone when someone came up beside her.Â
"Here."
Cobra stood next to her bike, handing her a small bag. Inside, on a plate, sat a vanilla cupcake with baby blue frosting. Sakyia looked between him and the cupcake, a bit confused and stunned.Â
"Thank you," she said, gingerly taking the bag. "You didn't have to do that. I would've gotten it another time."
"I wanted to," he replied, shrugging.Â
She straddled her bike and put on her helmet with urgency. The small gesture reminded her of another person sheâd known. He liked to give her random gifts as well; he used to brush it off too. Jesse was never one for grandiose gestures of affection even at fourteen. She placed the cupcake bag with the ones in the cart, and looked back at him.Â
âWhy?âÂ
âYou looked like you could use it.âÂ
âI could use a lot more things than a cupcake.â
âStill, we can find happiness in the little things too, you know.â Her phone pinged, and he said, âLooks like you have a busy day ahead.âÂ
âSeriously busy,â she said. âMy auntâs orders are super backed up; thereâs more waiting at the store. Iâm sure it wouldâve been worse if your friends hadnât helped her before.âÂ
âYour familyâs business helps a lot of people around here, and Hanaâs a good friend of my parents,â he said. âIt wouldâve been cruel of me to not lend a hand. She also helps keep the balance around here.â
âBalance? What âbalanceâ?â
âBetween the gangs in SWORD,â he answered. âThere are five gangs in Chikuni, and we all use your auntâs business when we want to deal with one another. That way, nobody walks into each otherâs territories without warning first.âÂ
âSWORD? The cityâs Chikuni though.â
âItâs the nickname. I thought your aunt told you?â
âShe neglected to mention it to me,â she grumbled. âFive gangs? Are they dangerous?â
âThey can be, if youâre not careful. But, Iâm sure once you tell them who you work for, theyâll lay off you,â he explained. âIâm sure Hanaâs already informed the other leaders about you too.â
âLovely. She warns them, but not me.âÂ
âShe probably didnât want to scare you off the job,â he suggested. âBesides, perhaps she thinks youâre capable of handling it. Koichi was a pretty good fighter too.â
âFighting?â
âLike I said, âfive gangsâ.â He stepped forward, âI could, you know, come with you? That way, youâll have some protection.â
âI donât need it.â She said this quicker than she meant to. âIâm sure Iâll be fine.â
Her sudden rejection didnât upset Cobra. He smirked and said, âYeah, you will be, huh?âÂ
She hated the feeling that smirk gave her. Cobraâs gentle eyes and words made her nervous. Not in the âfight-or-flightâ way sheâd become so accustomed to either. Her mother used to call it âthe butterfliesâ, and she didnât like them. They made her warm and hopeful, like sheâd been as a girl in school.Â
âSee you around,â she said quickly. âThanks again for the cupcake."
"No problem."
Sakyia started the scooter and went on her way. Chikuni City had five gangs, all controlling different parts of the city, and her auntâs little delivery business kept them from fighting. Sakyia knew the job sounded a bit too good to be true. She decided sheâd ask her aunt about it later, but sheâll keep it from her mother. Her mother worries plenty about everything else; Sakyia wonât pile on any supposed possibilities. She just hoped she did not have to fight. She was done fighting. Sakyia pushed Cobra and the gangs to the back of her mind, then carried on with her day.Â
She dropped off a few more packages to different locations, meeting her auntâs customers and people around the town. The gangs aside, the people of Sannoh greeted her with friendly smiles. Mrs. Saito owns an antique shop, and she gave Sakyia a small beckoning cat keychain for good luck. Mr. Ito runs a grocery store, and told her amusing stories about his youth in Sannoh whilst she waited for his signature. People seemed to know all about her parents, and her mother opened the salon. Sakyia did what she could to spread the word herself, hoping itâll help. Sheâd gone to the salon for lunch, giving her mother one of the meals sheâd bought, and told her about her morning.Â
âAh, I remember Mrs. Saito. Your grandmother loved going into her shop. She has a lot of interesting things in there,â she smiled fondly at the memory. She sat across from Sakyia on one of the hair drying chairs, who sat on the barber chair. âI missed this place,â she said, chewing a piece of chicken curry with rice. âI always meant to bring you here one day so you can see where your father and I grew up, but I never got around to it.â She noticed the cupcake Sakyia had sitting with the rest of the groceries. âYou bought a sweet treat, huh?â she smiled, âJiro wouldâve scolded you if he was here.â
âItâs why I wanted it, but I didnât have enough for it.â
âThen how did you get it?â
She slurped some of the chicken broth in her cup, then said, âJunpei.â Her mother hid her grin behind a scoop of rice. âUgh, it didnât mean anything. He was only being friendly.â
âThereâs a difference between âfriendlyâ and âfriendlyâ, she smirked. âYour aunt tells me heâs a very nice boy.â
âMaâŠâ she said warningly.Â
âAlright, alright,â she finished off her meal, and dumped it in the trash. âIâll lay off. But, you can at least try making friends your own age. I know thatâs easier said than done, but IâŠI want you to have a life, Sakyia.â
She knew this. Jiro robbed her of a proper social life and childhood. From thirteen to twenty-five, Sakyia cannot say she had any âproperâ friends.Â
âYou know who you should call up one day?â her mother broke into her thoughts. âThat boy you used to hang around with when you were younger. What was his name? Skinny boy with black hair? Never wore his shoes the right way?âÂ
âJesse?â
Sakyiaâs stomach rumbled, and she stopped eating her ramen. She remembered Jesse vividly. A lot of teenagers fought in the warehouse pits during her time there. The managers often pitted them against one another to keep things fair, but occasionally sheâd fight people bigger than her. Jesse was one of the kids she often fought against. Strong and fast with lots of stamina, it always took several rounds before either of them went down. Jesse never yielded. He either knocked her out or she knocked him out. One night, after a fight, they got to talking in the locker room and clicked. She often met up with him at the warehouse since he lived in Little Asia, and she lived near the bay. He liked her. She didnât know at the time, but as a woman now, the signs were obvious. He went easy on her in fights; he often tended to her wounds afterwards; he hung around her before and afterwards, and even brought her a flower for her birthday.Â
âI heard heâs in prison,â she said, remembering the boy who wore his sneakers like sandals. Word spread that heâd been lifted by police and gone to Rasan Prison, where heâs been for a long time. âSo, there isnât any way of âcalling himâ.â Not that she would. Itâd been so long ago, she doubted her recalled her at all.Â
âWhat a shame,â her mother mused, going back to fixing up the hair station. âHeâd liked you a lot.âÂ
Her phone rang in her pocket, and Sakyia sighed. âI have to go, Ma,â she told her, cleaning up her spot and dumping the garbage. âAuntie Hana gave me a long list of drop-offs for today, so I might not be back until later.â
âBe careful, Blossom,â she said, kissing her daughterâs cheek.Â
They said their farewells, and Sakyia went back on her route. Sannoh didn't seem like a bad place. People were friendly in a way that threw her off at times. She blamed it on the places where she received nothing but grimaces of pain or dirty glares. She briefly remembered Jesse, who'd always smiled at her approach. He did it when he fought her too, teasing and goading her into charging at him. Sannoh might've been different after all.Â
The sky turned dark by the time she finished delivering packages around the area. Sheâd driven back towards home when she noticed the gas tank dial. The tiny yellow hand pointed dangerously close to the âemptyâ symbol. Sheâll admit sheâd put off getting gas since she wanted to get to her drop offs and pickups on time. Yet, cruising through the streets, she worried she may not make it home on a near empty tank. She remembered passing a gas station on her way southwards, so she searched on her phone for the station and drove in its direction.Â
âHina Gasâ went across the top in bold letters. It appeared a bit run down, but nothing that threw her guard off. Sakyia parked the scooter by a pump, then went inside. âThe butterfliesâ made their return. Cobra sat behind the register, magazine in his lap and his feet propped on a counter. His head poked up when the doorbell jingled throughout the small store.Â
âHey,â she heard herself say out loud.Â
âHey,â he said. âItâs late. Shouldnât you be home?â
âShouldnât you?â
âI live nearby.â
âSo do I.â Why is everything an inquest with this man? âI just needed gas,â she nodded to the pumps outside, âOtherwise Iâd get stranded.âÂ
She walked up to the counter, and he stood from his chair. The air remained tense and quiet. They didnât have to talk. Itâs not needed. Yet, the butterflies continued fluttering in her stomach. Cobra put in the gas charge, and she fished through her bag for the cash.Â
âHow was it?â he asked, processing her payment.Â
âHuh?â
âYour day,â he specified. âHowâd it go?â
âOh, um, it went well. My aunt kept most of the addresses in Sannoh, so at least I can see the rest of the place,â she said, fiddling with the strap of her bag. Her fingernails picked into the polyester strap, dragging over the prints nervously. âItâs actually a nice place. The people Iâve met are nice, at least. Mrs. Saito from the antique store gave me this little cat charm,â she showed it to him, the golden cat hanging from her keychain. âFor good luck,â she continued. âOverall, not a bad day. How was yours?â it only felt right to ask, since he did first.Â
The corner of his mouth twitched at the cat. He handed her back the bills, and said, âItâs been a quiet one, thatâs for sure, but not unpleasant.â He hesitated, about to add on to it before stopping himself. âIt is, um, you know, getting late though. Sannoh isnât always as pleasant at night. You really shouldnât go on your own.â
âI have my scooter. No worries,â she insisted, putting her money away. âI can just ride away if danger comes near me.â
âStill,â he said, looking over her face, âBe careful.â
âI will, thanks. Night.â
âNight.â
She moved to leave when someone else entered the shop. Seeing his black hair hanging over his eyes, dressed in a hoodie and jeans, Noboru leaned on a walking stick as he walked in. He looked different from the young man whoâd come to her old house a month and a half ago. His eyes met hers, and he gave a friendly grin.Â
âOh, hello, Sakyia,â he said, giving a bow of his head. âI heard you and your mom moved into the neighborhood.â He went over to the counter, giving Cobra a fist pump. âI hope you settled in okay.â
âWe did, thanks,â she said. âWhat happened to your leg? You werenât injured when we met.â
âYouâve met before?â Cobra asked, looking between them.Â
âAn accident,â he answered Sakyia. âItâs a bit of a complicated story, but I no longer work for the Iemura family.â
Sakyia did not need him to tell her more. He mustâve upset them somehow, and theyâd punished him for it. She pitied him. âIâm sorry that happened to you,â she told him. âYou and Kawata helped my mother and I a lot. She told me later youâd been the one who suggested the exchange.âÂ
âI thought itâd benefit everyone involved,â he shrugged. âYou and your mother could have a new life somewhere else, and Iemura would get their money.â
âAnd Jiro?â she asked cautiously.Â
âI donât know,â he shook his head. âTheyâre still looking for him, from what I heard.â
Jiro escaped them. She figured he would. Heâs too cowardly to own up to his mistakes. It was why he forced Sakyia to do it. âI know this might sound harsh to say, but I hope they do find him,â she said. Knowing Jiro, heâll crop up somewhere eventually. âHe deserves whatever they give him.â
âThat is a bit harsh-â
â-Iâm sorry, but how do you two know each other?â Cobra asked a second time, a bit louder.Â
âSakyiaâs mother sold her salon in Chikuni Bay to Kuryu,â he told him before Sakyia could intervene. âI heard sheâs managing Sungmiâs salon though,â he looked at Sakyia. âI was just talking to Naomi, and she told me.â
âShe is.âÂ
âWhy did she sell her salon?â asked Cobra.
âBecause we were moving,â Sakyia lied. âShe couldnât manage it from somewhere else, so she sold it to start over.âÂ
Cobra did not believe her. She could tell in the way he slightly raised his eyebrows. âI gotta go,â she said hurriedly. âItâs getting late, and my momâs waiting. Iâll see you guys around.â
âNight,â Noboru said innocently.Â
âNight.âÂ
She left the gas station before any more questions came up. Her mother waited for her at home, and sheâd been out too long already. She didn't have time for anyoneâs prying questions.Â
Especially not Cobraâs.
#high & low#high and low#H&L#High and low the story of SWORD#cobra x reader#high and low fanfiction#high and low fanfic#hina junpei#junpei hina#iwata takanori
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