#but yeah pretty much how... Cloud's trauma end up making i difficult for him to remember who he is

[icharchivist]

I'm so happy for Cloud having interests and hobbies

YEAH!!!

Like honestly a lot of ffvii's og is about Cloud reclaiming those part of his life i'd say?

because Cloud is heavily traumatized and put on a tough face like he has no emotional investment in anything, but as the OG goes he ends up experiencing so much that he gets to figure out what he actually loves. What he is outside of his dream of becoming a Soldier which have been crushed long ago.

And you see it in the little things. The way he finds it so cool to play around with his sword. The way he gets so impressed by seeing Cid's mechanic inventions. The way he was very happy to steal a bike for himself and enjoy the biker life. The way he likes to be a chocobo jockey, or how he jokingly talk with them. Later in the game he also have fun doing snowboard and stuff. In the Remake he also likes to breakdance. Like... He discovers so many things that make him happy and it's so cute to me.

There was the pain and everything but Cloud could find a bit of himself in all that noise again. And he's a nerd about it. that's so cute.

[madhyanas]

the craft so long to learn・ chapter five [uneven split]

➢ Things get better, things get worse.

Pairing: Boba Fett/Reader, Fennec Shand & Reader — Gender Neutral.

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 2.5k

Tags/Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence. Gore. Physical trauma. Depictions of PTSD and associated nightmares. Implied Tatooine slave culture (mentioned). Brief suicidal ideation.

GIF credit: @fettboba​ - [x]

Notes: READ THE WARNINGS! the first two thirds are relatively tame but the ending gets pretty severe. yeah it’s been forever and this is a short chapter. enjoy it! there are longer ones coming.

series masterlist ・ ao3

———

It’s a slow evening, this one. You’re slumped in your chair with a datapad in hand. Your left leg rests on the tabletop, elevated, ankle rotating idly.

You’ve been engrossed in this document for a couple of hours now, a study on the long-term effects of bacta on the vascular system of Twi’lek and Togruta. It’s a useful read, since there have been a handful of patients complaining of pins and needles in the tips of their lekku; issues with circulation.

There aren’t as many patients as there used to be, though. And none with the kind of injuries you used to see on Alket. Seems like Fett’s keeping his word. 

There’s a knocking at your door. Two thumps, sharp and heavy. 

You swallow, setting the data pad aside and getting up to answer. You kick your bad leg once or twice as if to jumpstart the thing.

It could be one of the old Palace indentures at the door now, and worry clouds your judgement as you slide it open without grabbing your stun gun first.

“Oh,” you say, dumbstruck. “It’s you.”

Boba Fett stands outside. That helmet looks just the same in the early evening as it does in the day. “I doubt you were expecting anyone else,” he remarks.

“What do you want?”

“Not going to invite me inside?”

“If you really wanted to come in, you wouldn’t have to ask.” An awkward beat passes. “Not that— I mean, in the sense that you could just barge in,” you correct, wrinkling your nose at the poor choice of words. “Not like I could stop you.”

“Then may I come in?” 

He waits for your answer.

“No.”

You’d say he was unbothered by the refusal, if not for the faintest crunch of leather from his gloves. In his hands lies a bundle of dark cloth, and a smile finds its way to your lips when his fingers dig into it spitefully.

“Very well.” It’s smooth, dignified. He doesn’t even sound disappointed.

Fett doesn’t come any closer to the doorway. Aside from those telltale hands, he seems to be content, if you’d ever care to use such a word. 

It’s probably the lighting. Dusk looks pretty on everyone.

Your expression turns wary. “What did you come here for?”

“Nothing as sinister as you’re thinking—”

“I really wasn’t.”

“—Just came to return something to you.”

He holds out the dark cloth to you, and when you take it in your hand, the feel is familiar. Coarse, thickly woven material that brushes your fingers from the back of the wardrobe every morning. This is yours. 

It’s the robe you lent Fennec last week.

“She wanted me to remind you that it’s… in one piece.”

You only hesitate for a second before smiling properly this time, with fondness. It's so difficult to dislike that woman. “Tell her I said thank you.”

“You can tell her yourself,” Fett grumbles. “I’m not a messenger.”

“A delivery boy, maybe.”

The joke apparently startles him as much as it does you. He sounds hesitant in replying, “Occasionally. She doesn’t leave much room for negotiation.”

“I suppose Fennec’s just like that.” 

Fett grunts noncommittally, and continues standing there. 

You decide to throw him a bone. “Is she… recovering well?”

“I’m not risking it to ask. That’s your business.”

What the man lacks in sociability, he makes up for as entertainment. Perhaps he isn’t always going for silent and intimidating so much as simply being awkward. Your head dips forward in a quick, polite nod to cover up the next twitch of your lips.

How fascinating, to find something that he’s bad at.

And how troublesome that it makes him decent company. Decent company to you, who would rather have comfortable silence than forced conversation. Fett isn’t a man who speaks unnecessarily. By his standards, this conversation might count as making an effort. To what end, exactly, you don’t know. You don’t like not knowing.

Yet you find yourself amused with him, with the way he talks when he chooses to do so. If not completely trustworthy, he is funny. 

He’s also still standing there. Your smile turns awkward at the corners. “You didn’t just come here on Fennec’s errands, I take it.”

“No. I thought we should have a chat.”

Those corners turn even further into something deeply sceptical. The word is innocent enough that when coming from his general direction, it sounds inherently suspect. “A… chat. I see you’ve gotten the hang of not acting sinister.”

He shrugs lightly. “I came to offer my thanks,” he explains unhelpfully.

“Excuse me?”

“For Fennec’s life. You have my gratitude.”

Fett bows his head quickly. Your first instinct is to beat away the sincerity with a broom. Or even turn it on him, if you thought you could shoo him off your doorstep and get away with your life.

But this is an opportunity.

“Do I?” you ask, sober. This man has a particular talent for pouring a bucket of cold water over everything.

Fett evidently doesn’t expect you to push back, and you allow yourself a slice of satisfaction at the cautious lift of his head. “I’m not repeating myself.”

“You will if you mean it.”

It’s with eager curiosity that you hold your gaze on Fett’s visor. You have an anchor, rusted and decrepit though it may be, and you drop it at your doorstep before him. You don’t blink, not even when a breeze blows by and sand grits past your nose. 

What will he do, you wonder. Fett — as still as stone and just as expressive — must have expected to throw the robe in your face, to brush you under the rug and be done with you.

You’re sick of it. Let him, let anyone, toss you an ounce of respect at his own expense for once.

“Since you clearly don’t,” you continue in the wake of his silence, “Take this back to Fennec. And you can tell her why I’m not dealing with you any further.”

You thrust the robe back to him, letting it dangle in the air between you. In watching it, your eyes catch briefly on the blaster at his hip. You’re really pushing your luck here, using Fennec as a cheap shot at sentimentality.

Your knuckles tighten on the robe. You turned down Alket’s invitation to escape for a reason, even if you’re not sure what it is yet. Better make that choice worth it.

“That… won’t be necessary.”

His glove pushes lightly against your outstretched hand. The warm leather feels softer than you expected, and you blink at Fett, who is guiding your hand back towards you, refusing the robe. He doesn’t linger in the touch. 

You’re so stunned that he hasn’t just shot you point-blank that the shift in his voice doesn’t register. You don’t really notice that he sounds slower, more considerate of how he’s speaking. As if you are deserving of that kind of attention.

You’re mostly struck with the impression that you’ve passed some kind of test.

“Thank you,” he finally grants. “You have my gratitude for saving Fennec’s life.”

From anyone else, that would sound like such condescension, as if they’re spelling it out for an infant. But from Fett, who has already declared himself and his intentions to you in their entirety, to scuff the line in the sand he drew himself is…

It’s reason enough to stay, for now.

You nod sharply, tugging your arm back into your chest stiltedly. “Right. Good, then.”

“Good.” He sounds quite wry. “Anything else?”

The urge is there, on the tip of your tongue, to say no to his likely sarcastic offer and retreat into your little corner above the clinic to overthink this entire situation till tomorrow. But how long has it been since you’ve had a foot in the door?

“There is something, yes.” Fett moves his head in a way that seems impatient, and rotates his shoulder twice before folding his hand behind his back. You clock the movement with mild curiosity. At least he’s hearing you out. “So, there aren’t many patients any more. Which is great, I mean. Given the circumstances. But in terms of my making a living…”

“You mean your payment.”

You deflate a fraction. “Exactly.”

“Fair enough.” You get the sense that there are gears turning beneath the helmet. “You received a stipend before, yes?”

“Yes. How—” You shake your head. Of course Fett checked the books from Fortuna’s time. “Never mind. I did get a monthly stipend from— from before. Enough to get by, but barely.” 

Also filed cleverly enough for you to not officially be on the payroll.

Fett nods, now looking down the street to the side. “Then it will continue. There are… newfound funds for it.”

You don’t think about the implications of that. “Then can I get a raise?”

There’s a lengthy, frigid pause.

“Depends,” he counters, razor-sharp, and you could grin like a dope just for not being shut down immediately. “How much?”

“Twenty-five percent hike.”

“Five percent.”

“Fifteen.”

“Ten.”

You mull it over. “Twelve and a half.”

Fett lets out a breath with some kind of emotion behind it, you think. “Deal.”

Fett juts a hand out at length, and you stare at it for a second too long before stuffing the robe under your armpit to shake firmly. You jump at the grip he takes, reaching up your entire forearm till the elbow, but he says nothing of it.

“Thanks,” you say, your relief halting your guardedness, and smile much more amiably at him. “For all of it.”

He hums. “Be seeing you, doctor.”

A pause, to give you what you assume is an inscrutable look behind the helmet. Then Fett turns around and promptly sets off to wherever he plans on going next. As much as you’d like to tell him otherwise, he’s scarily good at the whole ‘ominous’ front.

You watch his back shrink into the distance until it melds with the residual, wavering heat of the afternoon. Your returned robe is clutched to your stomach, and if anyone were to see you sigh, they’d be smart not to question it.

———

It’s an excellent evening, really. You get to enjoy the binary sunset outside your window, ribbons of copper and brass skittering overhead. There’s the rumble of speeder bikes and ships in the far distance, and the hum of stone from the fading, fizzling noonday warmth.

You smile before you fall asleep. You should have enjoyed it.

———

You’re not alone, here. 

There are hands, so many hands grasping and clawing and clutching at your body. They wind around your wrists, elbows, waist and one sole, precious knee. They’re hungry. You can feel the thrumming, hot, wet pulse of glee inside each vein as they seek not to touch you but to restrain you. To hold you down.

You know this place. A back room with tattered, exotic rugs and tapestries strewn over the sandstone walls. It smells like sweat and dust. Twanging, rhythmic music filters in so faint that you may be imagining it, hallucinating in your panic. There’s copper coating the back of your tongue.

Something is hammering on the inside of your ribs, desperate to escape. It needs to leave so it can drag you with it, bloodied bones and viscera shredding off your edges. 

“No,” you murmur, feeling an age-old tremor in your jaw. “No,” you plead again, eyes welling up with a fresh wave of panicked tears.

The hands on your arms tighten. 

“Please, wait, no—”

A guard — standing tall, masked and wrathful above you — raises the butt of the rifle overhead. A spear to be plunged into the belly of the beast.

You really start to thrash, now. 

“Please, don’t—”

The guard slams his rifle down onto your leg with a swift, solid crack. Your throat is shredded by a scream as the bones of your left shin splinter inside you.

It burns, this pain. Your body is alight, the wick of your foot catching flame and setting yourself ablaze till the stomach. The broken limb feels limp and soft — like tender, aching meat to be pulled apart and torn into slivers. It feels like an egg dropped in the marketplace, oozing raw yolk out onto the street to be trodden on and smeared. That’s your leg.

A noise arises, hoarse and blubbering and wet. That’s you. Tears blur your vision, already hazy and darkened at the edges, and you try to keep your sobs from jostling the mangled, crooked mess of your limb. You’re going to pass out. You know you won’t, this is how it always goes, but you so desperately want to.

The walls sway before they crumble. The dingy backroom begins to dissolve into sand, piling up and slowly filling the room. A self-filling grave, all for you. The guards are suddenly nowhere to be seen. 

When you look at it, your bloodied, shattered leg doesn’t sink into the growing dune so much as become part of it, morphing into golden grains. You can only watch as the metamorphosis travels up your leg, grinding you to dust. Higher, higher, up your belly and arms and chest and neck, until finally, you try to blink, but there’s nothing there. You’ve filtered away to nothing.

It’s with a gasp that you awake in your bed above the clinic. The ceiling looks like it’s shaking, until you realise that’s just you, and your left leg throbs in time with the pulse in your ears. You peer down the bed to see it dangling off the edge.

You swallow thickly, feeling sweat cool on your forehead and in the hollow of your throat. The room steadies, eventually. It takes you a while longer, pushing your expression away from contortion, loosening your lips back down over your teeth.

Pressure, then. That’s all it was. Your leg dangled in a bad way, aggravated some nerve endings, and you had a nightmare. 

A memory can be a nightmare, you think. But was it a nightmare when it happened, or did it transform inside you? Has it dried and cured and salted itself in your chest to become a preserved, petrified horror of your own devising?

Are you simply the host of your terrors? Or are you the cause?

Taking a bracing inhale, you pull your leg back onto the cot. There’s a brief flare of pain, bitter and spiteful with retaliation, and you clench your jaw.

It’s fine. You’re… fine. You are.

That same foot brushes cloth, rougher than your thin blanket, and you glance down. It’s your robe, the one borrowed by Fennec and returned by Fett. You blink at its vague outline in the dark, before fumbling for it roughly and tugging it close to your chest.

You turn on your side to face the window, clutching the robe under your chin. Maker, how childish you must look. Taking comfort in a scrap of cloth. But you don’t let go, and you certainly don’t hesitate to bury your nose in the material.

It’s clean, scrubbed with a green-smelling soap. Not like yours, a local brand all scented with Tatooinian spices. You can’t name the herbs or leaves this soap reminds you of, but it’s pleasant. Comforting, almost.

The wind whistles outside your window. You close your eyes, and wonder if the guard should have gone for your neck instead.

———

[nancylou444]

Questions from a Heller because I’m actually curious and want to know your train of thought. I know Hellers only see the worst of wincest shippers, and wincest shippers only see the worst of Hellers, so this is my attempt to have both of us see the better sides of each other.

I do ship Destiel, though not inherently romantically (I have weird views on relationships that don’t work with common terminology, and I think that one can have close, meaningful, and intimate relationships without them necessarily being sexual or romantic). I do think Wincest is wrong, but, like, it’s fiction and trying to debate morality here is gonna end up being useless, because neither of us are gonna change our minds, so lets not bother to discuss that here and just accept it as a fundamental difference in morality.

One, why do you think Cas and Dean’s relationship is insignificant? I really disagree with you here because it’s shown time and time again throughout the show how much Dean cares for Cas. He’s stated that he thinks of Cas as family. Also, Cas has been shown to have significant relationships with other characters as well. Sam and Cas have had moments of bonding, and Mary called Cas one of her boys. So yeah I guess I’m asking what you think Cas’s role in the show is and how you view his relationships with other characters.

Two, what do you think changes Sam and Dean’s relationship into something other than brothers? They do clearly love each other very much, but I still see it as a brotherly relationship, and family bonds. Again, it’s possible to have deep and intimate relationships without romance or sex.

Three, because I haven’t seen it on your blog and I’m curious, what do you think of Jack, and his relationship with Sam and Dean and Cas?

Four, what do you dislike about Destiel that you think makes the ship deserving of hate? Not the fans, but the ship itself. I am aware that their relationship is not an ideal relationship by any means, but the same goes for pretty much all of the reoccurring relationships in the show, due to everyone’s trauma and mental health issues and the circumstances they’ve endured over the course of their lives. I am really big on the idea of healing, and being able to improve yourself and the relationships with your family and friends, and to me the appeal of Destiel is seeing how Cas and Dean can make each other better, how Cas shakes Dean out of the roles he’s played since he was a kid and forces him to confront the ways he sees himself, and how Dean has fundamentally changed Castiel and literally taught him how to be human, how to love.

Five. You liked the finale. I understand why. I hate the finale. Yes, Destiel is part of that. However, my main issue is the fact that Dean died, and it was framed as a happy ending, and the only way for him to have that. A very dangerous message for people with mental health issues. Jared has had the message of “Always Keep Fighting” for years, and I feel like Dean’s death contradicts that. He just gained free will, and he dies before he gets a chance to exercise it? I feel the “happy Heaven” ending is.. I’m not sure how to explain it but like, too easy? A cop-out? A way to avoid the difficult writing of starting Dean on the road to a happy life. I think Dean should have gotten a chance to actually live his life the way he always wanted to, and Sam should have been able to have his brother in his life. I don’t think either of them could have been happy with the tragedy of the other’s death. What is your opinion on Dean’s death, and, if positive, why do you think so? What is your response to the suicidal undertones of Dean’s death? If you wanna know my preferred ending then tell me, this is getting too long for me to get into that.

I do admit that sometimes the fans can be stupid, but the same thing can be said about wincest shippers and practically any group. Also, Hellers are only gonna hear about the worst of wincest shippers, and wincest shippers are only gonna hear about the worst of Hellers, so both of us have clouded views on each other, and that’s why discussion is important. I’ve mostly seen good things from Hellers. I know your point of view is different. That’s why I’m asking to for your side of things, and attempting to explain mine.

Again, I’m simply curious as to your point of view, and do not mean to attack you in any way.

The only reason I didn’t delete this, is because I know it took a lot of time and thought, and I can respect that. 

Having said that, I’m not going to spend that much time responding to all of this. I’m just going to hit a few things. 

1. Cass and Dean don’t have a ‘relationship’. They barely had a friendship at the end. Cass’ confession was more about fanservice and Misha selling merchandise than about love. 

2. Are you asking me to explain FANON WINCEST? Because CANON wincest is right there in the show. 

3. I liked Jack for the most part. I think Sam was his main ‘caregiver’ so to speak. As for his relationship to Dean and Cass, I didn’t give it much thought. 

4.  to me the appeal of Destiel is seeing how Cas and Dean can make each other better  how Cas shakes Dean out of the roles he’s played since he was a kid and forces him to confront the ways he sees himself, You have got to be kidding me. Cass makes Dean better? How? Cass has done NOTHING to alter Dean’s love for SAM. And that is Dean’s focus in life. 

I notice that you seem to skim over the CANON times where Cass beat Dean.  

5. Did Dean put himself on the rebar? Oh Dean has killed himself a few times in the show, but they were always for SAM. His death in the finale was NOT suicide. Nor were there any ‘undertones’ of suicide. 

The show began with Sam and Dean. The show has always been about Sam and Dean. The show should have and DID end with Sam and Dean together. 

Not to be rude, but I’m sure your ‘preferred ending’ involved Cass and probably Eileen, and I don’t give a crap about it. Save that fanfic for YOUR blog. 

I’ve mostly seen good things from Hellers. Of course you have, maybe you need to step out of your bubble and see how REAL destiehellers act. 

[ivanabaqero]

Since I just returned from rehab, here is my.. idk, emotional journey on my chronic illness + mental health or wtf ever u wanna call this. This is the most personal thing I have ever posted but I need to get it out. 

Before you read, I guess I gotta tw this for suicidal thoughts and descriptions of my symptoms.

I don’t even know where to start. It feels like all of this happened in one week and at the same in a span of several years. But no idea, time just kept passing and more shit happened. 

Last summer was pretty cool. I worked hard and made a fuckton of money - not really considering the consequences of the fact that I overstepped the boundaries of my body every single day. Either way, I regret nothing it was pretty cool and another experience I am glad I could make. Well, but when I came back home, I started to notice a few things. Among some weird shit nobody wants to know about, I noticed a change of my eyesight. There was a cloud right on the vision on my left eye and it got blurry. At first, it started with minutes and then it passed. But I knew my body responded to exhaustion in an odd way so I let it slide. As doctors have instructed me, only when it lasts over 24 hours it’s an actual episode/flare and I should go to the ER -- to elaborate this further, I have been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2015 and have not had any bigger flares since, only the regular symptoms like fatigue, etc.

 I got treated with the regular medication; cortisone. This shit gave me some energy boost for a few days and then, things went back to somewhat normal. The blurry thing in my eye has changed into a weird ass thing called nystagmus. Basically, my eyeball was twitching. It was better than the blurry sight and my doctors told me that physical therapy was the only thing to help me with that, and up until some weeks ago this didn’t stop, at the moment it’s gotten way better though - a relief because that caused me mad headache and made reading really difficult.

Anyway, that was the smaller problem. A few months later, in December around Christmas, I have gotten really weak and have been constantly dizzy. As usual, I let it slide for some days. Up until that point when I couldn’t move from the bed or look at anything else but right up at the ceiling or I would get fucking dizzy. Back to the ER again, the same procedure began. Cortisone  resulted in a massive push of energy that lasted for some days, but after that, all the symptoms slowly returned. Not only that, but it started to get worse. I have been dragging and limping with my left foot since months but I still managed somehow to walk and get around. In January I had a major panic attack when I noticed that I couldn’t walk on my own to my doctors, which is merely an 8 minute walk away. I had to call my mom to bring me back home because I couldn’t go any step more. My doctor sent me to the ER but the next day, I decided that I was fine and being over dramatic and everything was perfectly fine. The whole thing kept getting worse, I could not walk anymore, I kept feeling dizzy all the time unless I was staring at only one spot: my laptop or phone. So that was what I did, ignore my symptoms. Adding to my chronic fatigue, dizziness, inability to walk and my eye problem, a sensitivity problem spread all over my body from the chest downwards. My hands hurt and my fingers cramped up and got stiff, I lost all feeling in my feet. I had an appointment at the neurologist thank god, or else, I would have let it gotten worse and kept telling myself that I am being over dramatic and nothing is actually wrong. Delusional? Maybe. I don’t understand myself there either.

The neurologist decided to keep me in hospital for a whole ass week, getting cortisone every day. I got in there with the ambulance in a wheelchair and left out of there walking again. Not perfectly, but I thought things were looking up. Of course, once the high dose of steroids begins to wear off and you slowly come down from it, you first catch sleep. Steroids this time have been given to me five days in high dose instead of three and in addition, I had to take pills that I had to reduce slowly over another two weeks. I did not sleep in those three weeks more than 3-4 hours per night and then I finally could. To make this more understandable; my brain was tired but my body was buzzing. I also had a tremor that has still not entirely left me as a wonderful side effect from the medication. 

That time stationary they finally put me back in a MRT and found 2 bigger new lesions. One of them in my cerebellum and the other in my spinal cord. Each of them causing me all those massive problems. Back at home I had physical therapy every day, but despite all of it, I had to rely on a wheelchair. I got my wheelchair in march and named him Otto because he is the best man ever. Next time in hospital, I was mentally and physically just fucking done and tried to just ignore how much my mental health was going downhill along with my body, the neurologist offered me stationary rehab at a very well known center where they treat several physical as well as mental illnesses. I said yes, and luckily got a place in July.

The initial plan was to stay there for four weeks, but the doctors suggested to extend to six. I did. And good that I did. I made slow progress. Very slow. To imagine, in twenty minutes at the first day I could barely walk 130m with four  breaks in between, with walking aid and what not - and my last day I made 640m in the same time with no breaks. I know this doesn’t sound like a lot but fuck -- I made it out of a fucking wheelchair. I am walking again. Not perfectly or any good, but my legs are used for their purpose again; to get me through this world. For someone who loves hiking and going for little walks alone, this was such a big deal to just not be able to anymore. 

The day I had the panic attack was the day I realized that in 2015 I made a promise to myself that if I ever have to rely on other people, I would end it. But I felt selfish for not wanting to end it. I felt selfish  for wanting to live and being a burden to people. I know, none of this is my fault and I am the first to give good advice, but am I good at handling my own shit? Absolutely not. 

With all the physical therapy I did for six weeks every day, I also had a psychologist that helped me understand myself better and deal with the trauma this experience brought me. I have to find another psychologist at home as well, because I didn’t feel the one I have helped me at all. I had to make a lot of promises to myself, such as accepting and asking for help and that it’s no shame in doing so. I feared losing my independence and I still do. But fuck, this experience was an eye opener in so many ways. I made new friends in rehab as well, which was one of the coolest things. And I got hit on by two attractive men - can you believe? I was in a wheelchair, dressed like absolute shit and not making any kind of deal of how I look! But yeah, my interest wasn’t really there to get involved in anything. I’ve got a lot of love to give but I need to give it to myself rather than pour it out on someone else.

I learned so many lessons, about my body and about my mind. My brain is an idiot and I have so many fears I was never even able to see until now. I thought optimism could beat everything and well... while it helps me a lot to get through every day life, every now and then I just need a slap in the face to look at things in another light. Not everything is fine if you tell yourself it is, no, you are not over reacting and you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself when life is dealing you a bad card. It doesn’t matter that other people have it worse -- it doesn’t mean your own shit is any less valid. And with that, I am going to wash my face and stop crying. I am still in a shock of reality state because I am  back at home now and everything is different. And I got to admit, I feel a little lonely. But I don’t want to reach out to my old friends at the moment with whom I felt like the “sick friend”. I want more friends in similar positions as me so I don’t have to feel bad for... well, feeling bad, and I don’t want to hear any more optimism monologues from healthy people who have absolutely no idea what it is like to have chronic pain, fatigue and overall; an illness. Whether it be mental or physical.

If you really read all of this, thank you. There was no need to, but I appreciate it. I honestly just needed to let it out. Because I haven’t done so properly since all of that started. 

[binniedeactivated]

saint. || soobin (2.7)🌪

🖤┊𝔰𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔱 . ೄྀ࿐ 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: 𝖘𝖔𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖓 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: 𝖘𝖒𝖚𝖙/𝖆𝖚 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙; 2436

spending time studying became easier and easier by the day for soobin with your help of course. even in school he found himself using your methods of studying and was actually pretty consistent with it. studying was also good in terms of him passing his exams but it was also an excellent tool for soobin to try and forget what occurred just a couple of days ago. He’d been spending so much time with you he hoped you wouldn’t find out about it at all.

but there was nothing to be done when it featured all over the news this morning. soobin curses under his breath knowing this would be the buzz of the school for days on end. nevertheless he nervously awaits outside the door of your classroom. it would be his first time seeing you since the news released not too long ago. the bell rung and students were pooling out of the classrooms in a frenzy about what had happened. some even saying they wanted to stop by and see the scene before they went home. soobin thought it was weird, but whatever. he lays his head back on the wall until you strolled out of the classroom with books tucked into your arm. you walked out without even looking at him so he caught up to you, tugging your arm back.

“mama--”.

“soobin, I don’t know if I want to talk to you right now”. you stated as calm as you possibly could. 

“so you’ve heard?”.

you placed your hand on your hip at his reply. 

“what do you mean have I heard? do you think I was born yesterday. It’s obvious who did it. my question is why didn’t you stop them?”.

“why is this my fault?”.

“I been told you to tell your idiot friends to leave her alone and that whatever they had going on is over. you didn’t do it did you?”.

soobin sighs in defeat. 

“you’re acting like they would’ve listened to me”.

“why wouldn’t they? you’re choi soobin right? the cute rich that every guy in this school wants to be? most popular? the one who calls all the shots right?”.

you turn to walk away but soobin pulls your arm back again. 

“you don’t understand how difficult this is. they won’t stop. that night when they did it I was with you. I wasn’t involved at all--”.

“because they’re your friends this means you’re just as attached to this situation as they are. mia was already being effected by other medication but now she has to deal with this trauma too? theres no telling what they did to her in that house soobin”. 

“why are you pinning this on me? you’re acting like I told them to do it”.

“why are you trying to disassociate yourself from them now as if you all weren’t close weeks ago?”.

“I’m trying to be a better person. I really am, princess. you have to believe me when I say I didn’t want that to happen to mia just as much as the next person. I’m just as confused about their motives as you are”. 

honestly, you thought. who did soobin think he was? did he really think he could win you over with his innocent face and pet names? because if that’s what he thought then... maybe he’s right. you had to admit you saw him changing himself piece by piece. although he isn’t entirely perfect now you knew he was trying. you calmed yourself down before you spoke. 

“so what do you think this is going to mean for you soobin?”. 

soobin sighs, knowing what you meant by that. 

“I- I don’t know. but don’t worry. my parents know a lot of people and can pay for lawyers to lift any suits if they are placed on me”.

you unconsciously frown. since soobin wasn’t there you knew his friends would try to make everything seem as if it were his idea. because you knew even long ago that his friends weren’t as real as soobin thought they were, and that’s just the type of people they were. and although soobin was one of them not too long you began to think that maybe it isn’t fair for soobin to get wrapped up in their antics after all. 

soobin pulls you into his chest hugging you and kissing you on your forehead. he was already scared and worried for himself enough, he couldn’t deal with you being worried for him too. 

“i’ll be fine. you just keep worrying about passing these exams so you won’t get punished by your mom”.

you placed your chin on his chest, now looking up at him. 

“have you been studying on your own? how is it going?”. you ask. 

“bad. it’s boring studying alone”. 

“why? because you don’t have someone to touch constantly?”.

you smirk detaching yourself from him now starting to walk to your next class. soobin laughs behind you. “that’s not true”. he calls louder watching you turn inside. he missed you between classes, he really did. once he was finished watching you he turned around to see yeonjun standing behind him with a grin waiting at the corner of his lips. 

“are you done loverboy?”. 

“where the hell did you come from?”.

“the shadows. let’s go to free period we have to talk”. 

soobin nodded, following yeonjun into the library with their designated teacher and sitting at their designated table. soobin piles his textbooks and notebook on the table. yeonjun does the same, the both of them knowing they weren’t going to get much studying done. 

“so you saw the news this morning?”. yeonjun starts. soobin was sharpening his pencil. 

“unfortunately”. 

“and you do know that mia ratted them out to the police right?”. soobin’s eyes widened. he stops his sharpening. 

“she did what?”. 

“they are no longer suspects anymore soobin”.

soobin’s heart tanked. 

“it’s only a matter of time before your name pops up”. yeonjun mentions again. 

“I’m going to get a lawyer”. soobin replies.

“make sure you get a good one soobin. since you were friends with them at one point it’s going to have a bad reflection on you”.

“it might, but where is the proof that I planned the whole thing? how would they even get away with saying that?”. 

“you’d be surprised the lengths that people go to just get themselves out of trouble. especially with the charges they have over their heads”. soobin breathes again, trying to feel positive that his lawyer would be the one to get him through this. 

“does your girlfriend know?”. yeonjun asks, 

“she knows about the incident and she was getting mad at me because she told me to tell them to stop messing with mia and I didn’t tell them. she’s saying that if I did what she said I wouldn’t be in this situation right now”.

yeonjun nods. 

“what are you going to do if the hotel situation comes up?”.

“why would it?”.

“the boys need evidence to deem you capable of carrying out such a plan. the more clearer the evidence gets the closer you are to becoming an inmate”. 

soobin gulps. at this rate, the only thing that was on his side was time. 

“whatever you do, you have to tell your lawyer everything. like everything in full detail so they are able to defend you when it comes up”. 

“everything?”.

“yes everything. the last thing a lawyer wants is to be surprised with some new information by their client in court. above all else though, you must be ready for anything”. 

soobin nods. it was going to be hard to admit what he’d done but he would rather do so than to be sent to prison. he tapped his pencil on his paper a couple of times before speaking. 

“yeonjun”. 

“yo?”.

“why are you helping me? you aren’t afraid of getting caught in it?”.

yeonjun shrugs, writing the last of his sentence before speaking. 

“if i’m caught in this i’ll protect you”. 

“but why?”.

“because you’re just a dumb bastard whose trying to be a good person and your friends are fucking it up for you”. 

soobin chuckled a little. “thanks, dipshit”. 

“what did i say about thanking me?”. yeonjun playfully responds. the joy in yeonjun gave soobin at least a little bit of hope. hopefully he’d be able to get himself out of this. that’s all that clouded his mind these days. he’s done bad stuff in his life but he never knew it would lead him to this extreme. but all of this clouded worry was brushed away when school was over and he was able to see you again. 

he kisses your neck while you were retrieving things from your locker and you flinch. he laughs at your shock and you looked like you wanted to kill him. 

“soobin! what are you doing?”. he pinches your cheek softly. 

“I can’t kiss you?”. 

“not on the neck--at school”. you reply. he childishly rolls his eyes and waits for you. 

“this is the beauty that I haven’t gotten a chance to meet yet”. yeonjun grins approaching soobin’s side. you turn, trying to figure who it was that said that. some blue haired kid that you haven’t saw around here before. you kind of thought he was cute but, don’t tell soobin that. 

“yeonjun don’t start”. soobin nudged. yeonjun ignores him and continues talking to you. 

“how you doing? i’m choi yeonjun. i don’t think we’ve met”. 

“choi? you’re related to soobin?”. you ask. 

“in some way, yeah”. 

“interesting”. you say nonchalantly, grabbing the rest of your things and closing your locker. you didn’t want him to think you cared about anything he had to say. 

yeonjun slides his arm up the locker beside yours, 

“so yeah whenever soobin is acting like a bitch, you can call me”. yeonjun joked, winking for good measure. soobin shoves him into the opposite direction and yeonjun laughs in return. 

“stop fucking playing around you idiot”. soobin scowled with his hand on your lower back, ushering you away from him. yeonjun’s watches the both of them go, “remember what I said!”. he shouts after soobin. and soobin heard him loud and clear, he just didn’t want to think about that right now. 

“how was your classes today?”. soobin begins while you both were now settled in his car. it was kind of second nature at this point, you going with soobin after school. 

“they were okay, I’m tired of hearing about the same information. are you going to your classes nowdays?”.

“yeah i’ve started. i thought it was pretty stupid to study for exams and not go to class”.

choi soobin? going to class? it had to be some type of miracle. 

you were fixing your ponytail,

“so? my house or your house today for studying?”. you question. now driving soobin answers, 

“let’s go get some food. how about a coffee shop?”. 

actually, a coffee shop didn’t sound too bad. it gave you both a break from being enclosed in your homes. you nod in agreement. while driving though you couldn’t help but to start up a little conversation.

“so? where did choi yeonjun come from?”. 

“he’s this kid that was brought to my house by my dumb ass friends. I hated him at first”. 

“why?”.

“because he was talking back to me”.

you laughed. 

“talking back?”.

“i was shit talking him and he was shit talking back. that was a first for me”.

“god forbid no one is scared of you, soobin”. 

soobin laughs, “yeah i thought it was pretty cool to be feared. but when yeonjun was talking back I kind of realized I like a person that knows how to defend themself. so then I started liking him”. 

“you can date him instead of me you know”. you tease. soobin deadpans you for a brief second before putting his eyes back on the road. 

“it’s not even like that”. 

“oh so it’s complicated?”. you tease again and soobin laughs, you could tell that this time he wanted to murder you. the both of you arrive at a small cafe shop on the corner of two of the biggest streets in town. you were sure to bring your backpack inside with you, you hoped you could get a lot done even if you were with soobin this time. 

he pulls your chair out for you and you thank him whilst taking your seat. he sits across from you. he was pretty satisfied with the size of the table, you guys needed just as much space as you could get. 

your eyes grazed the menu at the endless flavors of coffee the shop sold. some sounded just pure weird and some sounded delicious. “have you ever been here before?”. soobin questions. you shake your head no. “I forgot this town even had coffee shops”. you admit. 

“welcome! what can I start you guys with today?”. the waitress asked. soobin orders a hawaiian salted caramel coffee which sounded amazing, but not as amazing as the one you had in mind. you decided to order the s’mores flavored coffee. 

“so did you hear?”. you prompt. “no, what is it?”. 

“the school is hosting an incentive for the seniors who ace their exams this year”. 

“what is it going to be?”. 

“I’m not sure but I’m kind of excited. I know most seniors didn’t pass their exams last year so i’m motivated. that’s probably what the school is trying to do anyways, motivate us”.

“that is kind of motivating. but we go to a catholic school so for all we know our incentive can be an extra church service”. 

you laugh. 

“i’ll die”. 

“excuse me choi soobin?”. voices blare behind him. you’d saw the two officers walk in but you thought they were going to a table, not targeting soobin. your eyes widen. soobin turns around, stunned once he found out who was searching for him. 

“yes?”. 

one of the officers beckon his hand upwards, signaling that he wanted soobin to stand up. soobin does so. 

“you’ll be coming with us for now”. the other officer spoke pulling out his handcuffs. you gasp. soobin was at a lost for words. he pulled his hand away. 

“wait just let me--”. he fishes for his wallet and gives you some cash. “i’ll be fine princess. don’t worry. eat well”. 

the officers take the both of his wrists and cuffs them tightly. soobin didn’t really know if he’d be fine. truth be told he was scared out of his mind. and truth be told you were more than scared out of yours. 

[holographic-chogi]

Protector pt.20/23

Author: holographic-chogi

Pairing: fem!reader x skz

Warnings: mentions of guns, familial trauma, familial neglect

A/N: Hi guys...I’m really sorry I’ve been gone so long! Things got kind of intense during the the move, and it became difficult to balance writing along with all the other things happening in my life. Thank you to everyone who has read in the past and/or is still reading this series, I’ve grown really attached to it and don’t plan to leave it unfinished. As you can see, there’s also been a final chapter determined! The outline is done, and you guys can expect the final installments soon. Lastly, 

Summary: a virus has wiped out most of humanity, and society has collapsed. People survive in groups where they live in constant fear and a struggle to survive. Women were the primary victim of the virus, leaving few behind. You are one of the few, kept in secret since the beginning. However, you’ve just been caught.

Masterlist

You woke up in the morning similar to the way you had a couple nights ago, abruptly and full of fear. It had been two days since then, and the nightmares had scarcely waned in their intensity.

The blankets tumbled to the ground as you shot up, backing against the wall in confusion, until finally processing where you were.

Home. Your room.

Your heart panged at the site of the empty spot next to where you had been sleeping. Changbin was probably on shift, though you sure wish he wasn’t.

Or, maybe, you scared him off. You could hardly call yourself the same since you’ve been back, and part of you wasn’t sure if Changbin would still love you the way you are now.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to make it here and everything was supposed to be okay again. You weren’t supposed to feel like this anymore.

Miserable.

Everyday, while the sun rose and set, your thoughts and dreams were haunted by the memories of your night with Taeil. Physically, you were beginning to heal (save for the inevitable scarring), but mentally, you existed within those few hours with your attacker. It had gotten pretty hard to stay present.

You don’t actually remember sitting on the floor, but you found yourself there. You stared at the wall in front of you as your mind poured over all the possible ways Jiho and his goons could sneak in.

His goons… were they after Hyoseob about now?

You raked your fingers through your hair as you remembered parting ways with him in the woods. He was right, you would make it here. You really hoped he was okay.

Or Bambam?

Then it became hard to breathe, and your sore throat began to tighten. You couldn’t take this. Not anymore. Why was Bambam even in those woods? Was he yet another person who put themselves at risk to protect you?

Like your brother.

You knew now that no one was safe. Standing from your spot on the floor; the wood creaked beneath your feet, and you cringed the idea that anyone could hear you. You were already this dangerous burden, wasting away their space and food, did you really need to be noisy on top of that?

No one said anything about the way you changed, but your head was drowning in a sea of thoughts you imagined them to have. Thoughts of contempt, resentment and hatred.

Your heart began to pound as you heard your door handle move; a tiny part of you expecting Jiho or Taeil to emerge from the entrance.

But you immediately felt a sense of calm as you spotted Hyunjin. He smelled like the pine trees that populated the woods outside, so you assumed he had just come back from hunting.

How long had you been spiraling like this?

Your face reddened at the realization of how you must look right now. Stray hairs clung to the edges of your sweaty forehead the same way yesterday’s pajamas clung to your thinning frame as you stood, teetering, next to the dresser.

Unsurprising to you though, Hyunjin didn’t bat an eye. “Wanna get some fresh air?”

Although everyone else at the Farmhouse treated you like you were going to fall apart at any moment (arguably justified), Hyunjin treated you like you.

It was a good feeling.

And you can’t deny, you never worried about what Hyunjin thought of you, because somehow, you knew you didn’t have to. He had become your healing space.

“Not really, but I probably should.” Your voice was still a bit raspy, though it had been subtly improving. “I’m probably driving everyone nuts with how little I’m pulling my weight. Maybe I can go help reinforce the fence…”

He shook his head, “You aren’t driving anyone crazy, they’re just worried.” He paused, his voice becoming slightly lower as he subtly looked you up and down.

“I’m right here with you, and you’re in a safe place full of people that love you. Please don’t torture yourself in here.”

At that, the thin veil that held back your tears up until this moment, burst. You were unable to keep the emotions from leaking out of you as you sobbed into your hands.

You felt a gentle tug around your shoulder, before you were wrapped up in his arms, back on the floor. As you sob into his hoodie-covered chest, you reciprocate, limbs trembling as you cling to him for life.

“I have you, Y/N. You’re safe. You’re loved.”

It would take time to believe this, but if anyone would be able to drill it into your head, it’d be Hyunjin.

Once you were able to calm your voice a bit, you let a question slip through the cracks, “How can you see me, when no one else can?”

With the ends of his fingers, he lightly directed your chin upwards. Much to your chagrin, this was to look you in the eyes.

“The others don’t understand what hurt is, not in the way that we do.”

With this, you were speechless. He had worded the feeling you’d had about him but could never put words to. Up until this point, you felt an unexplainable kinship and sense of understanding with Hyunjin. But it all made sense now: the world before the virus broke him just as much the world after. Just like you.

You stared into each other's eyes for a moment, Hyunjin patiently waiting for you to process his words until you finally whispered, “Can you tell me your story?”

He chuckled to himself.

“My father was a soldier, so was my brother. I suppose I was going to be one too.”

You raised your eyebrows, “You? A soldier?”

His gaze shifted down, resting on the floor in front of him in shame. “Yeah. They thought the same thing”

You looked him up and down in panic, “no, I--”

He shook his head, cutting you off. “It’s okay. It’s never been any mystery to me that I’m not meant for that.”

He continued, and you didn’t fail to notice his brows furrow and his eyes harden. “I tried my best to keep up. I learned to shoot, fight, even speak the way they did.” he shook his head in exasperation, “But it was never enough. My family’s perception of me was always clouded by everything I wasn’t and should've been, and they never looked past that until the very end.”

His voice was breaking now, and instinctively you began to rub his back, urging him to continue.

“And I’m the only one left now, the sole survivor. I was the only one young enough to survive the virus. I never met my mom, and my only living family died disappointed in me.”

Silence. And then a sob; “I hated the way they lived, and I hated the person they expected of me--” he paused before finishing his sentence, attempting to gather himself.

“It’s why I’m out hunting all the time. It’s the only time I ever feel worth anything.”

He finally looked back at you, and you had to stop yourself from crying too. He looked so defeated; eyes brimming with tears. You gently reached out with your other hand to hold his, and you vaguely noticed the scars you left him, ages ago.

“Y-you say I’m the only one that sees you, but Y/N, you’re o-only one that sees me too.”, He smiled through another wave of emotion, “That’s why I really need you to be okay, do you u-understand?”

You nod back hurriedly, unable to open your mouth to speak without crying.

“Whenever I hunt alone it’s…it’s just me alone with my thoughts. It feels like the world is empty, just me and my resentment alone.” He smiled as he continued, “But with you, it’s so easy. My mind is quiet, and I’m not alone.”

Then it came to you, you knew exactly what to say, “We have eachother, Hyunjin. Always.”

He then stood up, stretching out a hand, “That’s it, I have something I need to show you.”

Taglist: @leetaemintrashnumber1 @peachescherryheart @lico-rice526 @claire4799 @lanie-is-a-unicorn @tottalbabe @anakinandbtsislove @scissorsandtonfas @tokiokiedokie

[indigosprite]

Hibari Headcanons

that nobody asked for

He likes small animals but not your usual small animals. (The way he kicked uri out in the future instead of letting the cat stay 😭) I.e he’d pick a sugar glider over a guinea pig

He hates crowds because he still hates the fact that when he was still learning to be sociable kids had the power of alienating him. He despises that group mindset that children had. In kindergarten some kids invited him to play then told him to get lost and nobody stood up for him. He has one intrusive thought and it’s that feeling. He genuinely hates crowds because it feels like an opportunity for people to get to decide who isn’t welcomed. He lowkey doesn’t want to witness that moment to happen to anyone else.

His overthinking only stops when he’s alone so he genuinely does prefer it. He doesn’t mind one or two people in an intimate setting but when it’s more he wants to disconnect.

He’s all about repaying debts quickly I think he takes this on an emotional level too so he feels if you get too close or kind he has to return that by being transparent as well and he knows he’s bad at it so he just stops you altogether by not letting you even create that environment around him. I.e in the future he’s fine in the hospital room then more people come and he warns Tsuna then beats his ass because it was getting too emotional seeing ppl visit chrome when he just wanted to check on her from afar and not hear everyone’s emotions.

He takes pictures of random things , like a leaf with water droplets, clouds from Nami middles roof , his sneakers when he’s walking. They’re not amazing but he just always does it and never shares. It’s kind of grunge but unintentionally.

He has a knack for throw blankets. He has one in every room they’re mostly black white or purple no designs except for the ones from his grandparents.

If you have ever watched Saiki k I think he has the exact same relationship with his parents. If you haven’t : he’s serious and reserved and willingly antisocial but not because of trauma and his parents are so normal and caring it’s funny in contrast. But they’re a tad bit more refined than saikis.

He was partly raised by his grandparents when he was much younger and that’s why he really loves tradition and order while his parents are hardly as strict.

His grandfather was probably a vet who joined solely to protect Namimori . Hibari has that same love for the town because of him but like his grandfather he’s in no way patriotic. They both just love this town He thinks of his grandfather when he thinks of Namimori and because he is gone now he latches on to the town even more.

His grandfather is Fon. Hear me out. Fon could have been around 40 when he was cursed , could’ve had a son young (18) but it was fine because he was a very well respected champion. The Hibaris had money and as long as he was a positive image in his career field they wouldn’t mind what he did although their lineage is that of leaders and scholars. He stopped for a bit to go into the army and when he came back he stumbles upon the mafia . His son grows up to also have a kid young Fon and his wife watch after Hibari until he’s around 7 while his son and daughter in law work extremely hard to get established in their career paths. They come back and one day Fon just vanished bc he’s cursed and hibaris dad knows he was in the mafia so he just doesn’t dwell on what might have happened but doesn’t share because he didn’t want to pain him as a bad guy to his son but they’re all pretty upset about it.

Fon taught hibari how to fight , that’s why he has his grandfathers disposition and tenacity although it’s a tad immature in comparison. Fon tells him his style will be what he picks and hibari randomly picks tonfas as his weapon. Fon has it in his house because although he uses no weapons he’s fond of their history. Fon gets him a pair of silver ones.

He’s not the brightest, he’s not as terrible as Tsuna and Yamamoto but he’s average academically. He’s not interested in excelling academically and getting a painfully respectable job like doctor lawyer or something in business. And I think his air of nonchalant attitude can only come from a trust fund kid who’s parents don’t expect them to be their carbon copy.

He literally gets himself held back just to stick around a middle school he likes and nobody objects or is worried about his future. It’s definitely secured.

He really doesn’t care about the disciplinary committee members because he didn’t mean to form it. Students have a love hate relationship with him. He was just some scary strong guy who happened to beat up the right people who were pests and they thought he did it for the good of everyone. But they realized too late that it’s really just who irritates him and that sometimes coincides with their best interest so they let it be because he’s a comforting and unsettling presence to have. Like even Tsuna acknowledges this despite being terrified of him most the time he’s always like “wait Hibari will handle it”

He likes that he has disciples because it’s a crowd he’s apart of and is the center of but doesn’t have to be too close and nobody can kick him out or make him feel unwanted.

His parents actually like that he’s respected (oblivious to the fear) as the leader of this club around town because their family is known for strong leadership and he’s applied it to what he wanted.

He likes hamburger steak because when his parents came back his mom liked to test American recipes once she moved back to Japan. This was the only one he really liked enough to ask for again

He can’t cook. At all. Hopeless. Would burn water.

He would kill you for a well made dessert. They put him in a good mood but he’s a weirdo that doesn’t like rewarding himself so it has to be a gift or offered.

He actually likes band t shirts ripped jeans boots and all of that but hardly wears it out because he finds he likes being in his uniform more.

He’s a good boxer because everyone seems to forget he won a BOXING match for royhei. Hello he couldn’t use tonfas he actually had to punch ppl. Yeah he’s strong but that’s a style of fighting he definitely learned from Fon.

He jogs on a private trail around his families property, sometimes his father joins him.

His parents know him really well. He’s not a difficult kid to them. they’re the only ones he answers to but even then they raised him to be independent so they’re not that authoritative over him.

He has a hard time listening to them because he thinks they leave him to govern himself too much and shouldn’t only get a say sometimes.

They feel bad about leaving him to his grandparents for so long but his mother says she’ll never regret making sure their lives were better for him.

They have a good relationship give or take a few problems stemming from their separation from him.

He can draw really well. I don’t know why. But he just does. He does it often on random papers his only collection being a small box his mother keeps of them. He hates when she saves them.

He’s the baby of his entire family but his father is on the higher end of his family and same with his mother for hers so everyone is always asking to see him but he refuses to leave Namimori for longer than a day or two.

He has a sister. Idk. I just feel he has a sibling that’s either way older or a toddler that spends time on trips with their mother because she doesn’t have school yet.

He watches horror movies with his parents a lot. But they have to be psychological thrillers and he always has to fight his dad with his mom on what everything meant.

He’s spoiled. He’s nonchalant about everything but when it comes down to it he is a trust fund baby who would have been sent to a nice private high school abroad.

He has been arrested but his father being his father makes an arrangement with the police force in Nami where he’s just his own independent junior division. It would explain why the people in his committee look significantly older than him sometimes😭.

Tetsyua has always been the only member who’s name he learned because he doesn’t disappoint him. He is to him what Shoichi was to Byakuran , competent in other areas and capable of surprising him. And he never made Hibari feel like he had to say anything to him for that hibari considers him to be a good friend.

Tetsu and Ryohei are the only people he finds familiar and respectable enough to converse with like a normal fucking teenager 😭.

Royhei is loud but he doesn’t mind him because the boy is ALWAYS alone training. And like him he doesn’t backdown from a fight , also he causes no trouble at school.

He hangs out with him more than you’d think but he never initiates it or stops it.

Hibari lets Royhei use his private trail to jog sometimes. His parents know the sasagawa kids well because of this, they get invited to dinner a lot.

He likes kyoko better because she’s like a quieter Royhei but just as kind and determined. He tries to be nice to her by greeting her from them to time but stops because she popular and it draws attention and annoying rumors.

She says he really hates crowds and understands how nosy people in their grade are and says it’s okay if he doesn’t wave back sometimes. She assumes he’s actually extremely shy and misunderstood. (Sis he’s just a delinquent)

It’s platonic but he actually fond of her and is nice to her and they text from time to time. She’s the only one who knows to give him sweets because they talk about them.

He tries to get revenge on Mukuro for making him associate something he actually liked enough to go view (Sakura) with humiliation and anger that he tries to return the favor. The bastard loves nothing that much so he’s still thinking.

His parents think some girl broke up with him at a Sakura filled place and that’s why he suddenly hates it. He won’t explain they’re wrong because it’s better than the real story.

He’s a history buff , but a world history buff not just Japan.

He has an admirable garden that he tends to and sells half the vegetables his chef only cooks for three and doesn’t need that many.

He likes the snow he thinks it’s calming when everyone stays home in their house while outside is cold and harsh but pretty. He makes his parents special hot chocolate on days like that. They let him drink hot wine sometimes but only a sip or two.

He’s bilingual because his parents taught him Italian when he was younger after they had come back. They also taught him a little English.

He watches a lot of American media and listens to their music as well.

On his birthday he never goes out because it’s a holiday and more people are out than usual so his family has a dinner for him and get him gifts.

His mother gives more thoughtful gifts that he appreciates later while his father indulges him and gets him stuff like a popular manga series or a meeting to upgrade his tonfas again or clothing he really likes.

[jetsetlife138]

DarkBeej continuation? ;3c moved to another prompt list this time! :D 5. "So tell me when you're gonna let me in." 55. "Don't you ever do that again." 61. "Is this too fast for you? Too fucking bad."

Paring: Dark!Beetlejuice x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Emotional Manipulation, Threats of Physical Abuse, Dub-Con, Stockholm Syndrome, Psychological Trauma

I hate Tumblr’s formatting. It always fucks with me. Sorry for any issues. Please enjoy! xoxoxo

“Are you hungry?” Beetlejuice asked as he magically summoned his clothes back onto his body after your intimate shower together. 

“Um, yeah, actually,” you replied, only now remembering that you had hardly eaten at all since you had gotten there.

“Well, let’s go into the kitchen and see what I can come up with,” Beetlejuice insisted, taking you by the hand and leading you out of the bathroom and through the dark hallway.

A paranoid thought clawed through your mind at that moment, and you couldn’t help but ask in terror, “You’re not going to poison me and kill me… are you?”

Beetlejuice halted immediately to stare directly at you. His eyes appeared to glow brightly in the darkness, reminding you that he wasn’t human, which made your stomach churn in fear. “Babe, you know I would never do that, right?” he insisted, caressing your cheek gently.

“It’s just… and please don’t get upset… you’ve hurt me quite a bit since I’ve arrived and I don’t know if you’re going to do it again. Please, Beetlejuice… don’t tie me up again” you pleaded, losing control over your emotions.

Beetlejuice’s heart shattered at the desperation in your voice. “Don’t you understand that I had to do that? I’ve explained this already. Weren’t you listening? I had to show you how deeply my love runs for you. I couldn’t show you that by simply telling you. You had to feel it for yourself. You had to experience every emotional cut, every stab, every bite, and every other painful encounter that I have felt for you. But now that you have, we can move on and you can understand. Unless, of course… you don’t?”

His question was a challenge, which you picked up on immediately. It was clear that you were pushing Beetlejuice too far with your honesty and you had to do something that would convince him once again that you understood his actions, as barbaric as they were.

With an animalistic impulse and a burst of strength, you shoved Beetlejuice up against the wall in the dark hallway before pressing yourself against him. Gripping the back of his neck tightly, you shoved your mouth against his, devouring him hungrily.

Beetlejuice hesitated for a moment, not fully understanding what was happening, but it didn’t take long for him to melt into the kiss and plunge his tongue into your mouth and explore it greedily.

The kiss was hot, heavy, and uncoordinated, but it was just what Beetlejuice needed. It was all passion and he held onto your hips, pulling you even closer. Absentmindedly, you began to grind your hips into Beetlejuice’s, the friction causing Beetlejuice to moan into the kiss.

Much to your bewilderment, you had started to lose yourself in the intimate encounter, even slightly enjoying the way Beetlejuice’s form fit against your own. When it dawned on you that you were letting your control slip away, you pulled back slowly, breathing heavily, wishing that you could see Beetlejuice’s expression in the darkness.

“Oh wow, gorgeous. That was… um… unexpected,” Beetlejuice sputtered. “I adore you, babe,” he concluded, lifting your hand to kiss the back of it tenderly. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.”

Though you were grateful to have found a way to distract Beetlejuice from his flaring temper, it made you nervous. It was obvious that you had to use sex and affection as a weapon, but you knew that you couldn’t overdo it or Beetlejuice would notice. He wasn’t a dumb guy, but he was clouded with obsession, and you knew that you could use that to your advantage if you played your cards right. The only problem was remembering that it was an act and that you weren’t actually falling for the psychotic son of a bitch that kidnapped you and had put you through hell.

Beetlejuice had escorted you to the table nestled in the corner of the severely outdated kitchen as he started to raid the cabinets for something to eat. “As I’m sure you can imagine… I don’t eat. But there’s gotta be something in here that will hold you over.” Picking up a box from the cupboard, he inspected it with a grimace. “How does Mac n’ cheese sound?”

“That sounds perfect,” you assured him.

“Excellent! Obviously, I think it goes without saying that I’m not the best cook. I had to possess a guy to get this stuff, but it seemed pretty basic enough that even I could make it. I guess we’ll find out!.”

You were consistently confused when it came to Beetlejuice’s demeanor. It was almost as if he was suddenly normal and not a dead psychotic ghoul. There were no mood swings, no threats, and no gore obsession. If you didn’t know any better, you would think that you and Beetlejuice were actually friends. It was a very odd situation and you had to constantly remind yourself of what Beetlejuice was capable of.

As Beetlejuice started to prepare the food, the silence became uncomfortable and he decided to initiate conversation. “So, is there anything you want to talk about?”

You were hesitant to reply. “Uh, no, I’m fine. I don’t mind sitting here quietly.” Your attempt to sway him from further discussion didn’t go over well.

Beetlejuice turned to give you a disapproving stare. “Come on, hot stuff. You don’t have anything you wanna talk about? No typical breather concerns or questions about your new home or our future or anything? I seem to recall you being very chatty when you first arrived. So tell me when you’re gonna let me in, babe. Obviously, at first, you weren’t ready or willing to hear me out. It seems like you are now, so go ahead. Fire away.”

You considered his proposal for a minute. The first question you wanted to ask was where the exit was, but that obviously wouldn’t go over well. Ultimately, you had decided to start out with something simple that would help your connection to Beetlejuice. “I guess I’m curious about you. I really don’t know much about you. How did you end up here? What happened to you?”

“Ahh,” Beetlejuice acknowledged with approval. “Now we’re getting somewhere. It’s a long story, but I guess you should know.” He turned his attention back to the boiling pot of water as he thought back on his past.. 

“I had everything in life - or so it would seem. My life was pretty fulfilling. I spent a good amount of time traveling, graduated from Harvard Business School, attended Julliard, and ultimately ended up as an overpaid corporate lackey. But none of that mattered. Not after I met her.”

Unable to stop yourself, you swallowed hard as you failed to hold back your grimace. Luckily, he didn’t notice anything. “I couldn’t sleep, I wasn’t eating, and I fell into a depression because I couldn’t have her. She didn’t want me. So, I took her.”

You were grateful that Beetlejuice was currently focused on preparing your meal and wasn’t facing you to notice your appalled expression.

“You remind me of her in that way. You didn’t want me at first either. Remember how badly you treated me?” he asked, turning briefly to raise his eyebrows at you.

“I do. I’m really sorry about that, Beetlejuice. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

The ghoul chuckled and turned back to the hot stove. “That’s alright, babe. We’re past that now. You’re mine, and you’ll never leave me again.”

The way he said it so matter-of-factly sent a shiver down your spine. It was difficult to understand how Beetlejuice became so fucked up if he had supposedly lived such a charmed life. He probably didn’t even know that he was crazy, and you weren’t about to be the one to tell him that. No, you had to bide your time and play your part, which you thought that you had been doing pretty convincingly so far.

“Anyway, our relationship was doomed from the start and eventually I ended it all,” he finished vaguely, leaving you to wonder what that poor girl’s eventual demise was. The thought of it left knots in your stomach.

“And the rest is history!” Beetlejuice finished happily, pulling you from your thoughts. “I have you now. Something about your very existence drew me to you, and I don’t think that it’s a coincidence. We were meant to be together and I’m so glad that you’re finally here with me.”

The food was done at that point and ready to eat. Beetlejuice had placed an ample amount into a bowl for you, beaming at his accomplishment. “I hope you like it,” he said with a grin as he placed the food down in front of you.

For something as plain as macaroni and cheese, your stomach growled loudly at the appetizing smell of it and you were unable to stop yourself from digging in greedily, relishing as the food hit your empty stomach.

“Do you like it?” Beetlejuice asked earnestly.

After swallowing a large mouthful, you replied, “Very much, thank you, Beetlejuice. This is great.”

Beetlejuice grinned widely, happy that he was able to please his lover.

He allowed you to finish eating in silence as he watched you practically inhale the food. When you were finished Beetlejuice had cleared your bowl and held out his hand to you.

 “Come on, let’s watch some t.v.,” he insisted as you took his hand, surprised that there was a working television in the decrepit house. 

The two of you wandered into another room, which was pretty sparse apart from a big couch and a small t.v. As the two of you settled on the sofa, Beetlejuice managed to maneuver you like a ragdoll so that you were curled up against his body. Shifting uncomfortably, you were not at all enjoying the direct contact, but you knew that you had to suppress the unpleasant feeling.

“What do you wanna watch?” Beetlejuice asked, enjoying the way your chest rose and fell against him with each breath.

“Um, I’m not picky, whatever you want,” you insisted. Beetlejuice gave you a disapproving look to which you feigned a smile and reached up to press your lips lightly to his in hopes of convincing him that you were content sitting there snuggling with him.

It had worked just as you had hoped. Beetlejuice smiled in return and flipped through the channels until he settled on a The Exorcist. “You know… I’ve seen this at least a hundred and sixty-seven times, and it just gets funnier every time I see it.” 

Humming in acknowledgement, you had a hard time understanding what was so funny about a terrifying movie about demonic posession, but it must have somehow appealed to his sick sense of humor. 

As the two of you watched, Beetlejuice kept looking from the t.v. to your face to read your expression, probably making sure that you were enjoying yourself. Eventually, he relaxed a bit and allowed his head to rest on the back of the couch. After about an hour or so later, you could hear him breathing heavily, which soon turned into a full-on snore. 

Glancing up at him, you whispered, “Beetlejuice? Are you awake?” Shockingly, you received no response.

As carefully as you could, you unwrapped yourself from Beetlejuice’s clutches. It was surprising that he had continued to sleep soundly even after you had slipped out from underneath his heavy arms. Now was as good a time as any to explore your surroundings in hopes of finding a way out.

Beginning in the room you were currently in, you looked for any signs of a door, but just like every other room so far, there were no doors that led outside - nor any windows for that matter. The only thing you could find was a small vent towards the ceiling. It was barely big enough to fit your head through, so you knew that there was no point in investigating further since you couldn’t fit through it yourself.

Continuing your search, you inspected the kitchen to no avail. Even after searching the closets and cupboards to see if there was a hidden doorway, there was nothing remotely close to an exit.

Next, you began walking down the main hallway and inspected the rooms that were now unlocked, but much to your disappointment, they were only closets and other storage spaces. For every room you had checked, you had come up empty-handed.

Feeling discouraged, you sauntered back into the living room and sat down on the other end of the couch next to Beetlejuice. The light of the t.v. flickered across the room while you lay your head back on the couch, absentmindedly following the lines and patterns on the ceiling. You had to wonder how this place could have been built without any entrance or windows. There was no way. It couldn’t be done. You had to have gotten in there somehow. 

On top of that, who in their right mind would create such a depressing place? Though, you had to give Beetlejuice credit for finding the perfect hideout to stash away a kidnapping victim.

Lost in your thoughts, you continued to follow the patterns in the ceiling to calm yourself before Beetlejuice’s voice pulled you back to the present.

“Babe?” You bolted upright to see Beetlejuice staring at you with half-lidded eyes. “What are you doing?” he asked tiredly with a hint of suspicion in his voice.

“Nothing,” you answered too quickly. “I got up to--”

“Don’t you ever do that again,” he snapped, the harshness of his voice making you flinch. “I-I was just…” you stuttered, trying to come up with a good excuse. “You fell asleep and I wanted to give you more room to spread out. I didn’t want to go far, so I just stayed here while you slept. I didn’t think that would upset you. I’m sorry.”

Beetlejuice narrowed his eyes at you, making you want to melt under his heated gaze. “I don’t ever need space from you. In fact, let’s go lay down. We’ll have more in the bed.”

Begrudgingly, you stood up and shuffled over to Beetlejuice as he got up from the couch. You really didn’t want to go back into the bedroom, but you knew that there was no point in arguing with him.

At some point, Beetlejuice had changed the sheets and you were grateful for the fresh smell of detergent as you lay down on the soft surface that you had come to know so well during your time there. 

Turning back to your captor, your eyes widened at the sight of Beetlejuice’s bare torso. He smirked, knowing that this wasn’t what you were expecting. 

“Beetlejuice?” you asked quietly, your voice hoarse with anxiety.

Not bothering to give you a response, he instead crawled on top of you and pulled himself up so that his face was directly above yours, so close that your noses practically touched. Beetlejuice stayed there for a moment, searching your eyes with his own before he started to lean in.

Instinctively, you turned your head away, exposing your neck to the ghost, which he took advantage of and edged forward to delicately brush his lips over the soft skin of your throat.

Beetlejuice had looked up at you after he kissed your neck to see what your reaction would be. You had refused to meet his gaze, which didn’t bother him at all because he knew that you were enjoying what he was doing to you, whether you wanted to admit it or not.

He continued to plant soft kisses on his lover’s neck as his hands went from stroking your chest, to running through your hair. He became more forceful with his kisses until he switched to nipping and sucking, leaving marks on you to claim you as his own. Beetlejuice was marking his property and he could feel your body shudder beneath him at the sensation.

Beetlejuice slowly and sensually made his way back up your throat until his lips found yours again and he sucked on your bottom lip. It surprised him that you didn’t resist, but he was too pleased to be overly suspicious about it.

An internal battle was coursing through your mind. Obviously, you were disgusted, but if you had to choose between Beetlejuice cutting you open, or kissing you, the latter was the better option.

If you wanted to get Beetlejuice to trust you enough to let you have more freedom, you couldn’t keep fighting him. You hated it, but you would have to accept whatever Beetlejuice was doing to you. Not only that, but you would have to pretend to enjoy it. You weren’t sure if you could, but you had to try.

Once he was finished teasing your bottom lip, Beetlejuice wanted to see how far you were willing to let him go, so he pressed his lips softly to yours, not waiting long before forcing his tongue into his lover’s mouth with little resistance. Beetlejuice sighed into the kiss, relishing in the taste of your saliva, wishing that he could have that flavor on his tongue forever.

When your lips parted from one another, Beetlejuice pressed his mouth to your ear and whispered darkly, “You taste so fucking good. I want more of you.”

He noticed how you swallowed hard at his remark. He smirked and slowly pulled away, removing himself from on top of you, placing his hands on your shorts and panties before tugging on them. Beetlejuice paused, noticing your apprehension and grumbled, “Is this too fast for you? Too fucking bad,” he barked, not waiting for a response. “I love you so much. I would do anything for you. I want you to feel how much I love you.”

He continued to pull your shorts down until they slipped off of your legs, soon joined by your top, leaving you bare before Beetlejuice’s hungry eyes. He didn’t waste any time in kneeling back onto the bed as his mouth watered and lingered over your hot core. “Just relax, babe. I’m going to make you feel so good,” he promised as he eagerly parted your legs and pressed the tip of his index finger on your bundle of nerves. 

Loathing the situation you were in, you knew that you had to persuade Beetlejuice that this was something that you wanted, too. You didn’t know if you could do it, but you had to be as convincing as possible. 

When Beetlejuice started to rub small circles against your clit, you forced out a pleasured groan, causing Beetlejuice to halt his movements for a moment. You met his widened eyes with your own needy ones as Beetlejuice’s mouth hung open in surprise. “Did you just… Do you like this, baby?” He asked, anxious for a response.

Biting your lip, you hoped that it looked more seductive than you felt. “Mmnh, yes. Please… don’t stop,” you begged, your voice trembling slightly.

Beetlejuice released a breath that he didn’t realize he was holding. He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face as he let your words wash over him. He had waited so long to hear you speak to him like that. He wasn’t about to waste another moment in case you changed your mind.

Sliding his finger down to your hole, he slipped in a thick digit while he leaned down to wrap his lips around your clit, sucking in lightly, swirling his tongue all around. “Oh god… fuck,” you groaned as you let your head sink into the pillows, closing your eyes tightly, trying to force yourself to enjoy this.

Beetlejuice hummed happily as he inserted a second finger, pumping in and out of your sex with vigor. Lapping up your juices greedily, Beetlejuice continued to eat you out like he was starved, earning soft curses and moans of approval, which only aroused him further. He tried to memorize the taste of you, delighting in the sweet and tanginess of your slick as he added a third finger, earning a choked sob from you.

“Mmnh, Beetlejuice. Oh god, I-I’m close,” you warned as your climax was drawing near.

Beetlejuice pulled himself off of you, earning a desperate look from you. “Not yet, babe. I’m not done with you yet.”

Surprisingly, you were actually disappointed when Beetlejuice stopped eating you out. You tried to tell yourself that it was just because he was really good at it, and that your acting skills were better than you thought, but a part of you wondered otherwise.

“I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited for this,” he commented soothingly as he pulled his length out of his striped pants, giving it a few pumps and smearing the pre cum over his length.

This moment was inevitable. You knew that. You were trapped and Beetlejuice had absolutely no intention of letting you out of there without some establishment of trust. Otherwise, you were probably going to die there.

Beetlejuice’s body quivered as he continued preparing his length, knowing that he was about to stretch and fill you to completion.

The ghoul crawled onto the bed and straddled you once more before bending forward and pulling you towards him harshly into a sloppy and needy kiss, to which you not only accepted but reciprocated in return. Beetlejuice was in Heaven, and he never wanted it to end.

He pulled back and gazed hungrily at you. “I love you so fucking much,” he whimpered as he positioned himself above you, taking his large cock into his hand once more as he gave himself more stimulating strokes. His eyes met yours as he asked barely above a whisper, “Do you love me?”

You knew you had to reply quickly, but you weren’t ready to utter those words, even if it was a lie. Beetlejuice would see right through that and his suspicions would make for a bad situation, which you wanted to avoid, especially considering the position that you were in.

Taking a deep breath, you finally answered. “I could love you… someday.”

Beetlejuice let the words register in his mind. No, you didn’t love him… yet. He knew deep down that it was probably too soon for that. You still barely knew him, but the fact that you were open enough to admit that you could someday love him was enough and he accepted it.

He smiled widely as he lined up his cock to your weeping entrance before pushing in at a torturously slow pace. As you were painfully and somewhat satisfyingly stretched, you emitted a satisfied moan. “Fuck, babe,” he groaned as he bottomed out, pausing to allow you to adjust to his girth.

A small whimper spilled from your lips as his length became sheathed inside of you. You couldn’t deny how good it felt, even if it was with someone you despised. He seemed to fit inside of you perfectly -- like he was made for you.

The ghoul started to lift himself once he felt like you had become more adjusted before he shifted back in, relishing in the feeling of being inside of you. Before long, he had built a steady rhythm, concentrating on the sinful sounds spilling from your mouth as you moaned with pleasure. It calmed Beetlejuice knowing that he was the one who was making those sounds come from your lips.

Alternating his angle slightly, you cried out when Beetlejuice’s shaft hit your g-spot, grazing against it just right. His own sock started to throb painfully, but he refused to come, instead, picking up speed now that he had found that perfect spot inside of you.

“Fuck, babe. You’re so- mnf- you’re so fucking perfect.”

It was clear that you weren’t going to last much longer with the increased friction that Beetlejuice was causing with his desperate speed. You were lost in your own pleasure as Beetlejuice continued to pound into you. “Oh my fucking god,” you whined softly, not wanting Beetlejuice to hear the effect that he had on you, despite the fact that you had been pretty vocal this whole time.

Fortunately for Beetlejuice, he had heard your cries of pleasure, which only spurred him further to bring you to completion. He rolled his hips and increased his speed, causing you to moan shamelessly loudly at the increased friction. “Cum for me, baby. Come on. Show me what you look like when you’re all fucked out,” he demanded, breathing heavily.

“Beetlejuice… fuck,” you choked out as the familiar feeling winding tightly in your lower half. “I-I’m gonna-” and before you could finish your sentence, the coil snapped, causing you to spasm harsly, the force of it practically paralyzing you with bliss.

 Beetlejuice lost himself shortly after, his cum filling you to the brim as he nearly blacked out from how good it felt. Coming to shortly after, he continued to thrust in and out until he was completely spent, still sheathing himself inside of your heat, not wanting the experience to end.

 After he caught his breath and he could feel your trembling body calm a bit, he removed himself from inside of you and fell forward on the bed beside you.

 As you panted heavily, you absentmindedly moaned as Beetlejuice leaned over to lick the sweat that had accumulated on your face, which you immediately regretted as Beetlejuice hummed happily in assurance. He then wrapped his arms around you tightly, still catching his breath. “That was perfect,” he muttered as he planted soft kisses on your cheek.

 Unsure of what to say, you just stared at the ceiling. The sex had actually been somewhat enjoyable, which frightened you. It was imperative to recognize the sadist that Beetlejuice was rather than the sexual bliss that he could make you feel. Though you felt repulsed, you knew that it would be worth it once you were able to get out of there and be free from Beetlejuice.

 It was only a matter of time.

[detroitwhatitmeanstobehuman]

Chapter 19 - Mischief and Mayhem

Part 2/10 of In The Meantime

Word Count: 15,445

Warnings: Swearing, discussion of trauma, sexual content.

Genre: Self-insert/Smut/Hurt/Comfort

Pairing: OC (Detective Rachel) X Connor

Rating: Explicit

Summary: In an effort to quell Connor’s misgivings and anxieties, Rachel arranged something of a fun get-together with Hank and Markus and his companions. The goal? Achieve catharsis in whatever way that would be enjoyable. And some of those ways are rather destructive, but Connor finds it all strangely enjoyable and freeing.

What It Means To Be Human | Previous Chapter

---------------------------------

Date: November 14th, 2038  Time: 2:45 PM Rachel - Lover Hank - Friend Markus - Friend North - Friend Josh - Friend Jericho - Allied Objective: Have fun

“Oh, come on! Now you’re just showing off!” Rachel exclaimed angrily while she was still sitting on the slick kitchen floor.

Connor couldn’t stifle the perverse glee of the motion of twirling and flipping each pan in his hands expertly as he juggled them. There was something about the weight and balance of them that felt incredibly satisfying to him. 

The day had progressed as enjoyably as it began, and Connor felt privileged to be able to see the lengths of Rachel’s silliness. As they lingered in the dining room, Rachel suddenly appeared from the kitchen with a pair of floor scrubbers on her feet and a mop in hand, proclaiming herself a mighty warrior and demanding a challenger, of which Markus was the first to accept. This, of course, led to a “battle” of epic proportions, with Rachel fending off the androids, each of them using a mop as though it were a sword.

Hank and Josh decided to stay out and spectate, Hank cheering for Rachel while Josh cheered for the androids. But with Rachel being outnumbered three to one, she was felled easily by Markus and crumpled onto the ground dramatically, pretending to die in an over-the-top fashion as though she were in a Shakespearean tragedy. 

Looking down at Rachel with a giddy smirk, Connor slid over to her in his floor scrubbers. “I have no clue what you mean, Detective.” He teased. “I’m simply making sure I don’t drop any of these pans.”

Rachel scoffed at him with an eyeroll, laughing mostly to herself. “Wiseass.”

“Takes one to know one, Detective.” Connor retorted playfully.

Rachel shook her head, slowly getting up back onto her feet unsteadily. “I’m starting to think that maybe Hank and I are a bad influence on you, Connor.”

“Speak for yourself, Rachel.” Hank responded, standing in the doorway with Josh not willing to risk potentially injuring himself, which was a relief for Connor. “I’m thoroughly enjoying seeing this side of him.”

Hank - Friend ^ There it was. That unrestrained praise that Connor was realizing more and more he had never gotten before from Amanda. To think that he worked so hard for her approval before.

But he doesn’t have to, anymore. He has people worth working hard for. People whose approval actually meant something to Connor.

North slid past Connor, side-eyeing him. “If you think that’s impressive, watch this.” She said to Rachel before sliding her hands into her jacket pocket and pulling out what looked like a set of throwing knives. 

North then started juggling them as expertly as Connor was juggling pans. He couldn’t help but be impressed by her sheer finesse and dexterity. To think that she was a mere sex android before the revolution was a thought that was easy to forget. You’d barely know if you’d met her now. But that only made North that much more intriguing. Her deadliness wasn’t programmed, but learned. It was practiced.

And this was a fact that clearly hadn’t escaped Rachel as she stared at North’s hands, her dark brown eyes wide with wonder as her hands started tentatively flapping with joy. “You can throw knives?” Rachel asked, and excited giddiness sprinkled in her higher-pitched voice. “Like, at people? With accuracy?”

North raised a curious eyebrow at her without stopping her little show. “Yeah.” She replied flatly. “And I can catch them if anyone throws any at me.” She then narrowed her brown eyes at Rachel. “Why?”

The shorter woman’s eyes darted back and forth before they widened in realization. “I just came up with a great idea!”

“Uh-oh.” Josh said preemptively, bumping Hank with his elbow with a smile.

“No no! It’ll be fun!” Rachel reassured them, sliding towards the door to the main hall. “And we can all take part in it! Without risk of injury.”

“Oh good!” Hank said, stretching his back with a crack. “I was starting to worry I was gonna get left out at the end, there.”

Markus then kicked off his scrubbers and tossed aside his sweeper as he followed Rachel outside. Connor did the same, putting his pans back on the counter before following them. “So what’s your idea, then?” The deviant leader asked her.

As they all walked out into the main hall, which was now covered in debris from the various objects and furniture the group ended up destroying. Rachel side-stepped around it, Hank and Josh rounding around the other side from the dining room to meet up where Rachel was going. “Well, I saw that there was a dart board in the game room.” She began explaining, Markus, Connor, and North all following her. “And when North started juggling her knives, I got a brilliant idea.” She then turned to the red-haired android with a smirk. “How many of those bad boys you’ve got in there?”

North returned her smirk as she pulled out five from each pocket. “Enough to keep busy.”

“Ooooooh!” Rachel exclaimed as she stared at them. “Perfect! So we’ll definitely have enough!”

As they all entered the game room, Rachel located the dart board and gestured towards it dramatically with her hand. Connor was curious as to what she was going to suggest next. It filled him with intrigue. 

Connor thought he knew Rachel pretty well after the week-long revolution they’ve gone through, but even now, she still continued to surprise him. It wasn’t difficult to see how she had managed to thread herself in Connor’s circuits. She was endlessly charming and endearing. Indeed, she never failed to be a creature of character and Connor never ceased to be further enthralled by her. And what captivated Connor most was her sheer enthusiasm and passion.

And all of it was genuine. There was nothing that Connor could call fabricated or dishonest about Rachel. In everything she did, everything she was, and everything she believed in, she was completely earnest.

Indeed, it seemed that Rachel made it nearly impossible for Connor not to adore her. His programming may have held back many of his feelings before he accepted his deviancy, but he certainly didn’t hold them back now.

And he never would. Never again. He loved Rachel, he loved Hank, and he loved his friends. He would be a fool to be ashamed of any of that.

“So, we’ve got our dart board, here!” Rachel announced to the group, who were all standing to attention. “Let’s see who’s the best at throwing knives.”

Hank then scoffed at Rachel. “Well, it’s sure not gonna be you. You have shit aim.”

“I tend to, yes.��� Rachel agreed. “And yet, I’m quite the sharpshooter when I’m given a deadly weapon.”

“It certainly saved my life enough times over.” Markus agreed, nodding at Rachel pleasantly. Connor couldn’t help but swell with pride on her behalf. “As well as many androids who have you to thank for being alive today.”

To Connor’s surprise, Rachel actually seemed to shrink a bit at Markus’s praise. Her shoulders hunched over as she looked away. “I just...did what I had to do.”

A moment of quiet hung over them all. The air was strangely stale in the afternoon light. “I wish Simon was here.” Josh suddenly said, breaking the silence. That name was familiar to Connor and when he placed why, he felt a fresh wave of guilt wash over and soak itself into his biocomponents. The android on the Stratford Tower. The one who carried out the heist with Markus and shot himself in the head. “He would’ve really enjoyed just spending the time like this. Just...being with friends and actually having fun. Without having to worry about supplying blue blood and biocomponents and wondering if we would be wiped out.”

Rachel then regarded Josh curiously. “I guess you...never really actually hung out before the revolution.” She supposed as her dark eyes flicked over the androids. “Which makes sense. I mean...who can really blame you?”

“He died for his cause.” North chimed in, her arms crossed as she leaned against Markus. “We all miss him, but...I think he would be happy that his sacrifice wasn’t in vain.”

Markus’s brows furrowed as he looked towards the ground. “I just wish he could see it.”

As Connor regarded his fellow androids, he locked eyes with Hank. The old man shook his head, his bright blue eyes clouded with a solemn sort of sympathy for the androids. Hank was a seasoned lieutenant. He’s likely lost fellow officers before and understands their pain.

But all Connor could feel was guilt. Perhaps if he hadn’t followed Rachel to the roof, Simon would be standing here with his friends. Maybe he would’ve survived. In any case, Connor couldn’t shake off the weight of Simon’s death. It was his fault, and Connor had to take responsibility.

In fact, he had to take responsibility for everything he had done before he accepted his deviancy. Despite having the trust and friendship of the leaders of Jericho, Connor still felt on some level that he didn’t deserve it. And memories like getting Simon killed only served to solidify that doubt.

“Hang on!” Rachel said confidently, interrupting the sombre mood and fixing Connor in her intense gaze. Already, the android detective could tell that wheels were turning in her head as she was putting pieces together in the nebulous enigma that was her brilliant mind. “Simon was put in the archive room along with all the evidence we collected from the deviancy case, right?”

Connor nodded. “Correct.” He replied.

“So, he should still be there, right?” Rachel asked him before she turned to the lieutenant. “Hank, we left when you started beating the shit out of Perkins.”

“Hank physically assaulted an FBI agent?” Josh asked Rachel in surprise, looking between her and the lieutenant.

She gave him a bright smile. “Oh, he did!” Rachel responded joyfully. “And it was fucking awesome!”

“And you can bet your ass that I would gladly do it again if I ever saw that bastard ever again.” Hank proclaimed proudly, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

“Well,” North interjected. “I’m impressed.”

“Wait, so,” Markus said, fixing Rachel in his heterochromic stare. “You have Simon? Locked away somewhere?”

“Theoretically.” Rachel hastily told him. “Simon should still be in the archive room at the station provided Perkins didn’t take him.” She then turned to Hank once again. “Did he go into the archive room after we left? Because he showed up at Jericho that same night, so I got the feeling he was in a hurry as soon as he realized we were gone.”

Another stab of guilt for Connor, realizing that he had unwittingly led the FBI straight to Jericho. Granted, his mission had only changed once he actually arrived and met Markus, but that didn’t stop the immense stinging feeling Connor could feel in his chest at the memory.

“Don’t know.” Hank said to Rachel with a shrug. “I was kicked out after kicking enough of the shit outta him. So I have no clue if Simon’s still there.”

Another moment of quiet seemed to descend on the group before someone spoke up. “Should we go check to see if he’s there?” North then asked. “If we can get him back, maybe we can find a way to get him back online, somehow.”

“Well, it’s not gonna be all that soon, I’m sorry to say.” Hank said calmly to North. “Cops and everyone else are working on staying on top of things after the evacuation. I doubt there’d be anyone at the station right now, and I don’t think it’d be safe for any of you to just start pulling androids out of evidence.”

“But we can’t just leave him in there!” Josh interjected. “He’s one of us, even if we can’t bring him back, he deserves a proper memorial at the least.”

“I’m not saying we leave him in there!” Hank retorted back. He shook his head with a sigh, leaning back further against the wall. “Look, we can’t get him right now, but I doubt it’ll be long for things to be normal at the department at least. I’m keeping tabs on the precinct right now for any updates, so...if I get word of anything, I’ll let you know and we can try to go get him.” He proposed to them. “Got it?”

“Please.” Markus replied, his eyes pleading. “As soon as you get word, let us know.”

“Yeah, yeah. I will.” Hank said to Markus, giving him a patient smile. “Besides, I don’t think Rachel will let me forget it. Or let me live it down if I do.”

“Nope, absolutely not.” Rachel said confidently, her arms crossed and her eyebrows raised at him.

It was odd to see Hank in this position. To think that he was so vehemently against androids and so hostile before was almost unthinkable, seeing the lieutenant comforting their friends this way. And the fact that Hank was unapologetic about his newfound perspective on androids made Connor feel as though perhaps he could atone for his past crimes.

Perhaps he could make amends after all. In any case, the prospect of perhaps bringing Simon back to life and reuniting him with his close friends gave Connor hope. Hope that perhaps he would consider himself deserving of the friendships he had gained after everything.

“But until then,” Rachel’s voice cut through Connor’s thoughts with ease as she approached them. “Let’s see who’s best at throwing knives. I’m gonna bet that it’s Connor because he’s perfect at everything and this seems like it would be right up his alley.”

Rachel - Lover ^ North - Friend ^ Connor could barely suppress the bloom on his cheeks at her praise. “We’ll see about that.” North challenged, an edge of competition to her prideful demeanour. Her challenge was only further exemplified when she handed Rachel one of her knives with the handle facing her. “But, since this was your idea, why don’t you go first?”

Rachel nodded, holding the knife and stepping forward. “Great idea!” She agreed. “I’m probably gonna suck, since I’ve never done this before. But who cares? This is supposed to be fun.” But as she stepped up, preparing herself, she then grew rather meek and nervous as her stress level fluctuated slightly. She wasn’t distressed, just a little nervous and unsure. “Um...you’re gonna have to actually show me what to do, because I have no clue what I’m doing.”

North rolled her eyes and approached Rachel. “Well, first of all,” she said, putting her hands on Rachel’s shoulders, “you’re standing too close. Back up a bit.”

Rachel’s eyes widened at the contact and a familiar reaction to North’s touch made Connor’s software stutter briefly. “O-okay, yep.” Increased heart rate. Flushed cheeks. Something unpleasant sparked within Connor as he observed them.

North then put her hand on Rachel’s, causing a brief gasp to escape her. “Grip the knife like this, thumb up and fingers around, like that.” She instructed folding her hands over Rachel’s to correct her grip. “And stand with your right foot out and your left behind you.”

Rachel further continued to blush as she obeyed North’s instructions. However, when she glanced in Connor’s direction and made eye contact with him, the smallest ghost of a smirk on her face was made known to him. “Uh, like this?” She asked, leaning further into North’s touch.

“Yeah, exactly.” North encouraged. “Now, how far you bend your arm back depends on how far from the target you are.” She then began pulling Rachel’s arm back behind her head. “From short range, you throw with your elbow bent and your wrist behind your head.”

“Okay.” Rachel replied, leaning more into North’s touch, glancing back at Connor. The android grew more and more confused. Was Rachel actively trying to make Connor feel these unpleasant feelings? Or was she simply being her typical mischievous self?

And more importantly, what did these strange feelings mean? He wasn’t certain and Connor couldn’t place a name for it.

“And, I’m pretty sure I don’t need to tell you how to throw something.” North said, stepping back and detaching from Rachel and standing next to Markus.

Rachel then gave a nervous laugh. “Y-yeah, I think I’ve got that.”

[Confront Rachel]

Ask Hank

[Say Nothing]

As Connor observed her, he stepped back towards Hank. He didn’t like the feeling it gave him and he wanted to be sure of it in case it interfered with his relationship with Rachel. The last thing he wanted was to jeopardize it.

“Lieutenant?” He whispered to the old man. “Can I ask you something?”

Hank shrugged. “Shoot, I’m all ears.”

“Do you find Rachel’s reaction to North...strange?” Connor asked.

“What?” Hank asked, confused.

Rachel

North

Strange Feeling

“I’m concerned for the state of our relationship.” Connor admitted, shuffling nervously in place. “I’m feeling something I can’t describe, but it’s unpleasant and it was triggered by how close North and Rachel were to each other and Rachel’s reactions to it.”

Hank - Friend ^ Hank then rolled his eyes, seeming to finally understand. “That’s jealousy, Connor.” He said flatly. “It’s a normal thing that happens.”

Jealousy. Interesting. Interesting and alarming. “What is it typically triggered by?”

“A lot of things, Connor.” Hank replied. “Someone being better at something than you that you’re working hard on. Someone you like or care about a lot spending more time with someone else rather than you. It’s a normal thing that happens, but it’s also kinda stupid and irrational.”

That didn’t serve to comfort the android. “How so?” He asked.

“Well, I can tell you that Rachel is obviously not gonna run off with someone else.” Hank assured Connor. “She loves you a lot and she’s not the type who goes behind people’s backs about shit like that. If you ever needed to be worried about something like that, you’d be the first to know because she’d outright tell you. She ain’t got the patience for two-faced bullshit like that. So, you ain’t got anything to worry about.”

Connor nodded, Hank’s confidence and experience with Rachel calming Connor’s innermost doubts. “I see.”

“And don’t worry about how she acts around North, okay?” Hank continued. “She’s just weak for a pretty face. You remember her reaction to the android at Kamski’s place? She’s real fuckin’ gay and has a pretty big thing for someone who can kick her ass.”

Connor tilted his head curiously. “I thought she was bisexual.”

“She is.” Hank groaned with increasing exasperation. “But her reaction to girls is different than her reaction to guys. So, she tends to label it that way herself. But the point is, you’ve got nothin’ to worry about, Connor.” He then shrugged. “Plus, you know how she is. She’s a lil’ shit and it’s real entertaining to her to cause a little mayhem. It’s the whole reason some girls like seeing guys get kinda jealous. I personally don’t get it, but who the Hell am I to judge?”

“Noted.” Connor went back to observing Rachel, feeling a lot better. Jealousy was a normal emotion, but it wasn’t rooted in rationality. That was easy information to contend with and Connor’s trust in Rachel far outweighed whatever irrational unpleasant feeling threatened to jeopardize that.

If Hank was confident that their relationship wouldn’t be compromised because of it, Connor trusted him.

With a thunk, the throwing knife landed cleanly on the dart board. Not in the centre, but it wasn’t close to the edges, either. “Huh!” Rachel said, clearly impressed with herself. “Not too bad for my first actual try throwing a knife.” She then turned to the others with a smirk. “Alright, who’s next?”

Markus then stepped forward. “I guess I’ll give it a shot.” He said with a nervous laugh.

North then pressed one of her knives into his hand and pecked his cheek. “Just do it like I showed her.” She assured him.

Rachel then let Markus step in front of her. She backed up and found her place by Connor and didn’t hesitate to take his hand in hers and squeeze it, looking up at him with a sly smile.

With a thunk, Markus’s knife embedded itself into the dart board not quite in the centre, but closer than Rachel’s did. “Not bad.” Rachel said, impressed. “Alright, let���s see if Josh’s got this.”

The black man snickered as North handed him one of her knives and stepped back. “I’m sure it’s not that hard.” He insisted dismissively. Yet, as Josh prepared to make his target, his hands trembled slightly. And after a long moment of waiting with baited breath, he finally threw the knife at the target.

And it landed just on the outer edge.

It was met with snickers from Rachel, North, and Markus, while Josh whipped around, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. “You guys made it look easy!”

“Josh, chill.” Rachel said, waving him off. “We didn’t even do that good. We did decently. Besides, for all of us except for North, this is a first.”

“Exactly.” North assured Josh, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Besides, I wasn’t great at first, either. It took a lot of practice for me to get good at it.”

Rachel nodded. “Right!” She agreed. “It takes practice.”

“Yeah, well.” Hank said, carefully shouldering past the others, taking the knife North offered him. “I can’t do much worse than that.”

Josh then threw up his arms. “Hey!”

“I mean, don’t fucking jynx it, Hank.” Rachel interjected. “Fate is a cruel mistress and she has no Goddamn self-control.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m well aware.” Hank waved her off, throwing an icy glare back at her, to which she only smugly grinned at him. As Connor regarded her for that moment, he noticed what Hank was talking about earlier. She did indeed seem to derive pleasure from the mild annoyance of others. But going through every catalogued memory of her didn’t seem to turn up any sort of malicious intent from her antics. Just...general mischief, it seemed. And the android would be lying if that wasn’t something he found charming about her.

So perhaps Hank was right in that Rachel may be doing all this on purpose to get a rise out of Connor. And begrudgingly, she was succeeding.

The android’s extrospective thoughts were cut off by a dull thunk of another knife. However, instead of being embedded in the dart board, it was instead embedded in the wall below it. And after a moment, stifled snickers followed as everyone else tried not to laugh.

Hank, being his typical irritable self, shrugged with a grumble and shuffled back towards Connor and Rachel. “Yeah, that’s just about what I fuckin’ expected.”

“Don’t beat yourself up, sir.” Markus consoled with a pleasant smile. “I’m sure with enough practice, you’ll get it.”

“Well,” Rachel interjected, “if Hank was able to do a decent job picking up on Connor’s coin tricks as quickly as he did, I’m sure knife throwing won’t be too difficult for him.”

Connor then cocked his head at the both of them curiously. “I didn’t realize that he actually tried them.” He said.

“Oh yeah, after he took it from you on the Stratford Tower, he started trying it himself.” Rachel explained to Connor with a signature cheeky grin. “He actually did pretty decently. Not as gracefully and impressively as you, but he did pick up on it pretty quickly. With enough practice, he might even get as good as you.”

Hank laughed. “Right, whatever you say, kiddo.”

“Hey!” Rachel barked at him, smacking his shoulder. “No put-downs in this household, Hank! In this house, we all love and respect Hank Anderson.”

Connor then smiled at the lieutenant in agreement. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

Hank - Family ^ Hank then gave Connor a playful shove in response. “Yeah, love you too, son.”

Connor couldn’t help but melt a little at the fact that the lieutenant just referred to the android as “son.” Granted, it probably wasn’t literal. After all, humans weren’t keen on their loved ones simply being replaced, as Rachel made quite evident in her insistence that Connor be more mindful of his physical safety.

But even the thought that Hank viewed Connor as a son figure to him made something warm bloom in him. And it was much different than the feeling Rachel gave him when she smiled at Connor. Hank clearly struggled and tormented himself over the loss of Cole. And he blamed androids for his son’s death until now, and when Connor stepped into the lieutenant’s life, all Hank could see was one of the machines that killed Cole.

The idea that Hank saw Connor as family just as much as he saw Rachel was an idea that added just that much more purpose to Connor’s life. A purpose that he was still discovering not only in his newfound deviancy, but in his newly gained freedom.

Something that no one could take from him. Not anymore. Not ever again. And it seemed to Connor that he would have to remind himself of this frequently until he really and truly believed it.

“Hey, Connor!” North then said, breaking through Connor’s reflective thoughts. “You’re up!”

The former deviant hunter glanced back at Rachel before he walked toward North. “Who wants to bet that Connor’s gonna get a perfect bullseye on his first try?”

“Nobody, because you’re probably right.” Hank jested.

Taking the throwing knife from North, Connor couldn’t help but take in her features. From Connor’s perspective, it wasn’t difficult to see how Rachel could become so flustered in her presence. Along with her bold, tough, and brash nature, she was also pleasant on the eyes.

Indeed, North was very pretty. And it seemed that Connor had found something else in common with Rachel. Perhaps, as Hank put it, they both had a weakness for a pretty face.

Diverting his attention from North, Connor made several calculations in rapid succession. From the distance between himself and the bullseye, the weight and centre of gravity of the throwing knife, to the angle of his arm, he took in every detail.

And then, with deadly precision, he threw the knife. And it landed in the dead centre with a sharp thump.

“Called it!” Rachel’s voice chimed from behind him.

Just as much behind him were groans. “Of course he’d get it right in the middle.” Josh remarked in light-hearted frustration. “Figures that CyberLife’s most advanced model would get the bullseye.”

Markus - Friend ^ Connor glanced back at them seeing them all smiling between each other. “Maybe he’s just good with his hands.” Markus added, winking at Connor.

The shudder it sent through Connor was a strange one. And Rachel’s response made Connor realize that it was definitely intentional. “Oh, trust me. He is.” She said with a deliberate tone to her voice.

“Alright, keep it in your pants.” Hank grumbled at them, eliciting a laugh from everyone. But the strangest part was that Connor wasn’t sure who the lieutenant’s exasperated comment was actually directed at.

But now Connor understood Rachel’s reaction to North much better.

North - Friend ^ “If you think that’s impressive, watch this.” The red-haired android said, shouldering past Connor. The detective android stepped back to give her space as immediately, several knives were thrown at the dart board.

And all of them landed in the bullseye, sticking out of the dart board like a morbid bouquet made of steel and threateningly sharp edges.

And it seemed everyone was impressed by her. “Woooooooooah...” Rachel gasped in awe. North then turned to look back at Rachel with a prideful smile on her face. “That was so fucking cool! I’ve actually always wanted to learn how to throw knives because I just always thought it was super neat!”

North then chuckled at her, grabbing her hand gently. “Well, now you know.” She encouraged, and Connor felt that unpleasant prickle in his software again at the blush that formed on her cheeks. “So keep practicing, and maybe you’ll get as good as me.” The android then turned to everyone. “That goes for all of you!”

“Yeah, right.” Josh scoffed at her. “As if any of us can compete with that!”

“Well,” Rachel piped up, “except for Connor, of course.” 

Rachel - Lover ^ Connor gave his partner an appreciative smile.

Her dark eyes then widened with excitement. “Wait! You can catch knives, too. Right?”

North nodded, her eyebrow raised skeptically. “Yes, why?”

“Can you teach me?”

Connor felt another uncomfortable feeling in his abdomen. But it was a different feeling than what he identified as jealousy before. This came from a different place. A place of worry and concern. And this was a feeling he was much more familiar with. The feeling of worrying about something bad happening to Rachel.

Intervene

[Say Nothing]

“Uh, sure.” North accepted sheepishly. “I guess I can teach you. But it’s not as easy to learn as throwing, definitely. And you might end up getting hurt.”

“I think that might be too dangerous, Rachel.” Connor interrupted, stepping close and putting his arm around her. “Perhaps under different circumstances, I’d be more open to the idea, but now hardly seems like a good time.”

Rachel then scoffed at him and brushed his hand off, much to the android’s irritation. “Right, as if throwing knives is any better in ‘these circumstances.’” Connor didn’t appreciate being dismissed so flippantly, especially when it came to her safety. “Besides, I didn’t ask you if you were open to it. Since when did I let you decide shit like that for me, hm?”

Connor stared her down as she turned to fix him in her intense gaze. Her tone held a slight edge of annoyance to it, but it seemed less annoyed and more teasing.

Persist

[Give Up]

But he wouldn’t be swayed by her wiles. “You told me to be more mindful of my physical wellbeing, which I did for you and for Hank.” Connor evenly scolded Rachel. “So I suggest you do the same.”

Another scoff. Another dismissive and flippant scoff in the face of potentially getting herself injured by accident. “I doubt I’m gonna get killed, Connor.” She continued to insist, accompanied by a heavy eye roll. “And besides, what are you? My mom? I don’t take orders from you.”

Scold

Order

Warn

[Give Up]

Connor’s irritation at her brazen attitude was beginning to boil over as his hands clenched, the tension making them shake. “Then you’d better learn to, Detective.”

“Oooooooooh!” The others all said in unison.

“I don’t think you’re gonna win this, Connor.” Hank tried to discourage the android. “She’s the most stubborn girl alive.”

“Mm.” North hummed. “Sounds like I’ve got some competition, then.”

“You and Rachel working together would be quite the sight, I feel like.” Markus remarked, pulling North close to him in Connor’s peripheral vision.

“They’d better watch out, then.” North teased him back.

Josh let out a hasty breath. “Yeah, no kidding.”

Rachel continued staring Connor down, looking up at him as she stood toe-to-toe with him. He had to admit that it was amusing seeing Rachel try to intimidate him despite being so short compared to him. “And what if I don’t, Connor?” She challenged him, the glint in her eyes blazing and scorching. “What exactly are you gonna do about it, hm?”

Diffuse

Threaten

[Give Up]

That was enough for Connor to catch on. If he wasn’t sure before, he was at least 79% sure that her seemingly innocuous teasing behaviour all day was being done deliberately to wind him up. But he wouldn’t get his answer with everyone staring at them. “Why don’t we take this outside, Detective?” He suggested.

Rachel’s eyebrow quirked at him, the smirk on her face only driving Connor more and more towards simply grabbing her and pushing her against a wall to claim her without caring about the others. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to snuff out her smug and flippant attitude and he himself had grown an overwhelming urge to make it known to her that she was his.

She was Connor’s and Connor’s alone, and he wanted her to know that as deeply as possible. He wanted to embed it into her very soul.

“You sound pretty serious, Connor.” Rachel mocked sarcastically before gesturing towards the door with her head. “Let’s take this upstairs.” She then already started walking out of the game room, not even bothering to wait for Connor. “Don’t stop on our account, by the way! I wanna see how good you guys get at this once we get back!”

“Sure thing!” Hank called after them.

Walking up the stairs, Connor followed Rachel dutifully. Throughout the whole day, there was so much excitement rushing through his veins. Connor couldn’t imagine feeling more excited.

But that excitement was very quickly turning into something darker. Something far more primal and possessive. For as much as Rachel was encouraging him to act out and be a delinquent - to “channel his inner bastard,” as it were - she was also igniting something fierce in him. The little ways she’d look at him, lean against something, lean against him in what seemed to be a very deliberate way, or the way she’d talk back at him.

Which irritated Connor, but not in a way he could recognize as genuine anger. Because it wasn’t. It was something very specific he couldn’t identify. Something that made Connor want nothing more than to confine Rachel to a room and ravage her until she didn’t have the strength to talk back at him.

Indeed, it was a sense of wanting to strip her of and make her surrender her sense of pride. Something she had plenty of and was indeed one of Rachel’s many charms.

Following Rachel, he found himself in a lavish bedroom. His eyes fixed on the sway of her hips. This had to be deliberate. She had to be trying to drive his processors crazy on purpose. There was no way she was doing any of this by accident. 

No, Rachel was far too clever for any of this to be an accident. Far too devious. If there was one thing Connor learned about her, it was that her actions were purposeful. She wasn’t someone who took well to her actions or words being misinterpreted. As she turned around to lean against a dresser, she looked at him with lidded, dark, sultry eyes that practically beckoned him closer.

Scold

Warn

Tease

But he wouldn’t let her have the upper hand. Not this time. “I don’t know what you think you’ve been doing, but you’d better watch your attitude, Detective.”

In typical Rachel fashion, she simply scoffed at him, defiance staring back at him. “Whatever could you mean?” She asked coyly, but her tone too was deliberate. She knew exactly what she was doing. “Oh right! You think you can tame me. Now, that’s adorable that you think you can control someone as proud and unrestrained and shameless as me. That’s so cute!”

Irritation flared up in Connor as he stalked closer, taking dangerously slow steps as he stared her down. “I’d advise you to watch your mouth.”

“Or what?” Rachel challenged him, her legs crossed as she stared at him.

Tease

Warn

[Kiss]

Rachel - Lover ^ Connor then chuckled, his lips curled into a knowing smirk. He approached her, grabbing her jaw and running his thumb along her lip. “Or I’ll find a much better use for it.”

Rachel gave him a mocking smile as she stared at him intensely, her dark eyes glittering with unbridled defiance. “Make me, then.”

That was all the permission he needed.

Swiftly turning around to close and then lock the door behind them, Connor briskly walked up to Rachel and pushed her back against the mirror above the dresser, practically bruising her lips with his own as he held her face in a vice grip. The brief surprised gasp and then series of needy moans only made Connor more and more determined. He knew her well enough to know that she was quite the harlot, and after all her teasing earlier, Connor couldn’t even hold himself back.

The moment her hands went up to tangle themselves in his hair, Connor suddenly grabbed Rachel’s left hand and pinned it to the dresser, their hands deskinned and their feelings connected once more. It indeed confirmed his suspicion that this was all deliberate, but what pleased him even more to discover was just how pliant she was and how eager she was to be taken control of like this.

But that wasn’t enough for the android. With his other hand, Connor grabbed her hips roughly and harshly grinded his tightly concealed erection against her clothed heat, causing her to break their kiss and expose her neck. Oh, how amusing it was for her to proclaim how untamable she was, yet she exposed herself so willingly for him.

It was almost too easy.

As he started biting and sucking on her neck, determined to mark her, Connor felt Rachel try to pull her hand away, only for Connor to wrench it and maintain a tight grip on it. “No!” He growled into her ear, grinding into her harder. “I want you to feel what you’ve been doing to me!”

“A-ah!” Was all she could choke out. All she could whimper. “F-fuck - shit!”

Her involuntary curses only made him more and more impatient. He needed release. He needed it badly. But after her little game with him, he knew only once wouldn’t be enough for him, and he could sense that she wouldn’t mind that one bit.

But oh, all the ways he could humble her. All the ways he could further dirty her, control her, drive her insane the way she’d been doing to him. They’d only had sex once, and that was the night Jericho had been attacked. And he had to admit, he was indeed thinking of all the ways he could fuck her into submission all day.

But what to choose? What to start with? What was he most curious to see? After all, half the fun of this were the  sounds and the faces she made. The pure unrestrained bliss and pleasure that she couldn’t hold back because of him.

Vaginal

Digital

Oral

He settled on one method and pulled back, letting go of her and staring at her in the eye with as commanding of a look as he could muster. “Get on your knees in front of me.” Connor ordered.

Rachel swallowed and obeyed immediately, following him off the dresser and kneeling before him, looking up at him expectantly. Connor could barely hold back the thrill of seeing her so easily submit to him. For as much of a self-proclaimed bastard as she was, she did aim to please.

Indeed, she could be a very good girl when given the right incentive.

Connor wasted no time unzipping his fly, gently caressing Rachel’s face with one hand while the other worked to free his aching cock. Her blissed expression and contented hum as she pressed her face further into his hand reminded Connor that this wasn’t just something done without feeling.

No, they loved each other. They loved each other so much. This was a result of trust and of want and nothing less than that.

But the android was growing impatient, so slipping his member out of his boxers, he roughly jerked her face up by her chin and pressed the blue-tinged head against her cheek, smearing pre-cum on it. “Suck.” He ordered.

For a moment, she hesitated, and Connor wondered if perhaps he went too far. “H-hang on.” She relented, swiping her hair out of her face with a hand.

Connor suddenly felt rather awkward and sheepish and paused for a moment. “I’m sorry, Rachel.” He apologized. “Is this too much?”

“No! No, not at all.” Rachel reassured Connor with a smooth honeyed tone to her voice. “It’s just...I don’t have the best gag reflex, so, y’know...keep that in mind.”

Connor nodded, relieved that she wasn’t afraid or uncomfortable. “I understand.” He assured her, stroking her cheek with his thumb. He then got an idea that he hoped would be comforting to her. “Just tap on me once if you want me to go faster, twice if you want me to slow down, and three times if you want me to stop. Got it?”

Rachel - Lover ^ Rachel nodded, seeming to understand. “Got it.”

Letting Rachel set the pace, Connor hissed through his teeth when she grabbed his throbbing member and licked a stripe up it from the hilt to the head. It took all of his willpower not to look away or close his eyes from the sheer pleasure of her swirling her tongue around his head. This felt much different than the feeling of her walls tightening and clenching around him. Connor wasn’t sure if this was better or not, but he certainly enjoyed it.

And his enjoyment only skyrocketed the moment she wrapped her lips around him and sunk onto him, closing her eyes and grabbing Connor’s hips. He wanted so so badly to buck his hips into her mouth. To bunch his hands in her hair and mercilessly fuck her face.

But he didn’t know what her limits were and he wasn’t willing to test them without knowing. After all, her comfort was paramount to his wants when it came to this.

That didn’t change the fact that it was getting increasingly more difficult to hold himself back when she was moaning and sighing into it. “Sh-shit!” He hissed. The vibrations from her voice and her throat were only serving to make Connor more and more impatient. And her facial expressions. He knew what her blissful looks were, but if this was how she looked, pleasuring him, he hoped he looked just as enthusiastic when he was performing cunnilngus on her.

Up and down Rachel bobbed her head, eagerly and expertly sucking him off. Then, seemingly as a test, she took as much of him as humanly possible, stuttering and gagging for a moment once her nose pressed against his naval.

“Fuck!” But then Rachel swallowed around him, and Connor nearly lost his mind then and there, throwing his head back with a loud and rough groan. 

Connor grabbed Rachel’s hair and yanked her off his cock, briefly relishing in the pleasured moan she gave in response, filing that detail for later. Looking down at her, her dark eyes wide with confusion as she stared up at him, his cock twitching in anticipation in front of her lips. The android had to catch his breath, even though he didn’t need to breathe. “Do that again.” He ordered.

Smiling up at him in understanding, Rachel nodded, wrapping her lips around him and taking in a sharp breath before taking in his full member and swallowing around him once more, the sensation making Connor’s sensors nearly fry. Going back to bobbing her head up and down, the pleasant sounds vibrating around him, Rachel glanced up at him, a coy and devilish look in her eyes as she kept eye contact with him. He didn’t even realize just how much he enjoyed that before. But the fact that Rachel was making eye contact with him while she was sucking on him made this experience feel far more intimate.

But Connor wanted more. And he knew that if he didn’t warn her, he might accidentally hurt her. “I-I need to move.” He stuttered, his voice cracking slightly with static. “Are you alright if I do?”

Rather than tap on him, as they had agreed, Rachel instead took his hands and put them on her head, deskinning her left so he could feel what she was feeling.

And he could sense a clear answer. Go ahead, I’m all yours.

That was enough for him.

Setting a moderate and even pace, Connor gripped Rachel’s short brown hair and started to thrust into her mouth, groaning and hissing at it. This was exactly what he needed to satiate his craving. To not only feel her mouth around him, but to use her. And if the obscene sounds she was making were any indication, she did not seem to mind.

Connor did not think he would enjoy the feeling of Rachel gagging on him as much as he did, but by his makers, he really did. He wasn’t even sure why, but he didn’t even want to question it. All he wanted was to lose himself in this feeling, cursing and gasping all the while.

Tap. Tap.

Taking her warning, Connor slowed down. Briefly alarmed that he might’ve hurt her, he glanced down at her. But her eyes were still screwed shut and she was still moaning and swallowing around him contentedly.

He kept his pace, trying to keep his own release at bay. But he wanted to cum. Oh, he wanted to paint Rachel’s darling throat white and he wanted her to swallow all of him. But he needed to work around her needs and her limits.

Tap.

After a few moments of thrusting and wet slicking sounds, Connor felt a singular tap on his leg, and took that as his signal to increase the pace.

As he bucked into her mouth harder and faster, her moaning and whining became louder and more uncontrollable. Her grip on his hips tightened, and Connor’s grip on her hair did the same. So Rachel liked having her hair pulled. That was a fact Connor was going to thoroughly experiment with shortly.

Tap.

But for now, he had to finish this. He was getting close and even Rachel seemed to want him to finish. His thrusts were becoming more and more erratic as he was starting to lose his ability to focus as his release drew near. And he knew exactly how he wanted it. “I want you to take it all, Rachel.” He growled at her from above him, causing her to glance up at him. “I want you to take it and swallow every last drop! I want it all down your fucking throat!”

Rachel responded with an eager gulp and a squeeze at his hips. Connor took that as a signal to wrap this up. Snapping his hips into her mouth at a brutal speed, he timed his last thrust accordingly and buried his cock into the back of her throat as much as he could as he let out the most guttural and feral groan he was sure he’d ever made as he felt her swallow around him, shuddering as he felt himself throb and spurt into her mouth.

He nearly buckled to the ground, having to keep himself steady with a hand on the dresser, as he felt her swallow around his head repeatedly, trying to swallow and take every last stream of his synthetic cum.

After a few moments, certain that he had finished, Connor pulled out roughly, his cock hanging limp as it slid out of Rachel’s mouth, a thread of saliva still connecting them. The moment Connor had slipped out of her mouth, Rachel began sputtering coughs and gripping her throat and Connor wondered for a moment if he had hurt her. But he assured himself that she knew her limits and wasn’t hurt.

But he still wanted to be sure. “Are you alright?” He asked, extending a hand. 

Rachel took his gratefully, wiping her lips and standing up to her feet. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She said between weak half-coughs. She swallowed as she looked at Connor, seemingly impressed with herself. “I just didn’t think I had that in me.”

“But it was good, wasn’t it?” Connor asked, wanting to make sure he was good to her.

“Oh, fuck yeah.” Rachel replied with confidence, smiling in a way that made Connor feel a certain hardness return. “Gotta say, not nearly as bitter as the real thing. I can definitely get behind that.”

Connor made a note that Rachel enjoyed performing fellatio on him for another time. “And you’re sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Rachel assured him, resting her left hand on his cheek. “You did really good.”

The brief rush that her praise sent through him was snuffed out by his still unquenched desire. He gave her a dark smirk that made her eyes go wide. “Good.” Was all he said before he whipped her around so that her back was pressed against his chest and she was pushed against the dresser. “Because I’m not quite finished with you, love.” He purred into her ear, earning quite the delighted and shocked whimper from Rachel. He slipped his other hand between her legs and rubbed her along her clothed sex, making her legs quiver in response. “Such a shame you had to be such a tease to me all day now that you’re being such a good girl for me.”

“A-ah!” Rachel mewled, clutching onto his hand with hers as she trembled and shivered in his touch. The way she arched her back against him as she pressed further into the android’s chest, nuzzling her head into his cheek and gently exposing her neck to him made Connor want to take her right then and there. “C-Connor!” She yelped when he bit into her neck once more and sucked at her tender flesh. “Th-they’ll hear us!”

Connor smiled into her neck, knowing that those were empty words. A warning that was technically true, but he could feel as clear as day her hunger. Oh, she wanted this. She needed this. And she had no shame about any part of this dalliance between them.

Rachel didn’t care that they might be heard from their companions below. In fact, Connor sensed a rather amusing thrill from her at the prospect of potentially being caught in the act. Something that made his processors crackle with intensity at the thought. While he had the better sense not to act on it, there was something extremely alluring and motivating about the thought of being caught by the others as he ravaged her in front of them. Showing them that Rachel was his. Showing them just what a delinquent android was capable of.

That he was no one’s master. That the android had control over the human and that she had no complaints about it. That she willingly submitted to him and his control.

But what was that worth if he didn’t get mutual confirmation that they both wanted this? And that was exactly what he was going to do in the cruelest and most teasing way possible. After all, an eye for an eye, as the saying goes.

[Continue]

[Finish]

It was only fair, after all.

“You say that as though you don’t want them to.” Connor purred into her skin, slipping his hand underneath the fabric and brushing past her clit, causing Rachel to jump with a loud whimper. 

The shiver in her spine and the wave it sent through her was easily felt by the android at being called out so plainly. Oh, the way it sliced through her ego was more than enough for Connor to continue. 

He got a rather devious idea and clamped his right hand over Rachel’s mouth and slid two of his fingers along her sex, very pleased to discover that she was practically dripping for him. His fingers slipped right into her sopping entrance with ease, and he started mercilessly working her into a needy mess. The whimpers that filled the room as he caged her between his elbows was absolute euphoria to him as he worked to completely undo her with only his hand.

But he could feel her still trying to hold back the volume of her pleasure. Indeed, the lionhearted Rachel was still desperately trying to cling onto whatever pride and dignity she had left. A circumstance that Connor was more than eager to change. 

“It’s so cute how you’re still trying to hold back.” He teased into her ear, only increasing the speed and friction of his ministrations. “As if you’re not something of an exhibitionist yourself. Am I correct?”

That sent what felt like a lightning bolt through her as she turned her face away from him, refusing to look Connor in the eye. The way she looked in the mirror directly in front of them, and how completely dominant and powerful Connor looked gave him a rather interesting idea. Moving his hand from her mouth, Connor grabbed Rachel’s jaw harshly and forced her to face the mirror. “Well?” He asked her mockingly as he bucked against her from behind against the dresser, causing her to yelp. “Nothing to say? You’re usually so outspoken.”

“F-fuck you!” She spat at him, but one curl of Connor’s fingers was enough to make Rachel melt into his control as she whimpered. Her legs trembled. Connor knew she was drawing close, but he wanted to drag this out long enough for her resistance to crumble.

He had a goal far larger than simply bringing her to orgasm. No, he wanted to absolutely break her. And all he needed to do was have her begging for him. To have the mighty and headstrong Rachel a pleading shameless mess for Connor.

And he knew just how to do it.

“You are truly captivating, my love.” Connor praised as he continued his ministrations at a painfully teasing and cruel pace. “You have no shame. You are absolutely enjoying every moment of this and you don’t care who hears. You wouldn’t want this to stop until I decided I was finished with you.” He purred, nipping at her soft and delicate ears as she moaned and whined in his grasp. “And yet, you’re still too proud to admit it out loud. Too embarrassed to admit how badly you want me to ruin you or how little you care about getting caught.” 

He slowed the pump of his fingers, angling his palm so that it didn’t slide against her swollen nub. “And as much as I find it endlessly fascinating,” Connor removed his hand from her jaw and fastened it around Rachel’s throat. “I’d like to hear you say it!”

For a moment, Connor feared he was accidentally hurting her, but the sinfully blissful smile on Rachel’s face as her eyelids fluttered encouraged him to finish this. The way her dark brown eyes rolled back in her head and the shudders that coursed through her body made Connor throw all caution to the wind as he dove right back into her sex, wanting nothing more than to wreck her.

As she whimpered and cried out, Connor could practically feel her dignity and pride ooze and slip between his fingers as she pressed into him, losing herself completely. 

“Y-yes!” Rachel managed to cry out between moans and gasps, strained by the hold Connor had on her throat. “Fuck! I want you so bad! I don’t fucking care if all of Detroit hears us! I just want you! I want you to touch me, bite me, mark me, fuck me! Oh God, I want you to fuck me! I want you to fucking wreck me!” Yes! Oh, yes! The growls that erupted from her was exactly what he wanted to hear. “God, please! Please, please, please, please fuck me!” And the way her pleas rolled off her tongue so quickly and rapidly for him made Connor’s own pride swell greatly.

He didn’t think he would enjoy the sounds of begging so much, but by CyberLife, Connor didn’t think he would ever want to hear anything less ever again. It was his own personal symphony. Like a theatre, the others may be able to catch it from outside, but this was a show for him. Only he had the privilege to hear it sung for him.

Planting a soft and tender kiss to the crook of Rachel’s neck, Connor whispered sweetly to his human partner. “As you wish, my lionheart.”

Pistoning his fingers into Rachel and curling them just right, Connor knew she would be cumming soon. And when she did, Connor would really push her limits. She was so resilient and strong, and he wanted to see just how much she could take.

And afterwards? Well, he would take good care of the love of his life. He would make sure she knew how much he cherished and loved her. For everything. For how much she encouraged him. How much she believed in and stood by him. And most importantly, how genuinely she loved and cared about him for who he was. How much she earnestly enjoyed his company and him just being with her.

Disconnecting from Connor, Rachel reached up and gripped Connor by the back of his head as her own slumped against him. “C-Connor!” She cried out. “C-Con - I’m - fuck - I’m gonna -”

“I know, darling.” He hadn’t used such affectionate names, but they seemed to tumble out of him in this moment between them. He barely even noticed it, but upon doing so, there was an underlying softness beneath it all. “Cum for me, dear. I’ve got you.”

Planting tender kisses anywhere his lips could find, Connor cradled her as she shuddered. Her walls clamped around his fingers as a broken whimpering cry tore through the air and ripped out of her lungs, her arms clutching on tightly to Connor as she came.

Gently working her through her orgasm, Rachel was panting, slumping against him, moaning quietly at him. Taking his hand off her throat, Connor instead guided Rachel to lean against the dresser, her hands crossed in front of her with her head resting on them.

Yet as she did so, Connor became painfully aware of his strained erection against her backside. He made a pledge to push her to her limits, and he was curious as to his own. So, taking his hand out from her pants, Connor brought his fingers to his lips and licked them clean, making eye contact with Rachel in the mirror. 

A quick vital scan showed her arousal spike once again. It truly was amusing how easily riled up she could get. Hooking his thumbs into her waistband, Connor slowly slid her pants and her underwear down her legs, exposing her swollen and glistening womanhood to him, Connor feeling his breath get siphoned out of him at the sight of it.

As Connor teasingly slid his cock against her slit, lubricating it with ease, Rachel gave the android an inquisitive side-eye as she moaned at the stimulation. Connor offered her a playful smirk as he ran his hands along her sides. “You did say that my goal today was to do everything Amanda would either simply not want me doing or everything she would hate me doing.” He repeated cheekily. “And she didn’t exactly care for you or your influence on me.”

Rachel snickered at him. “I did say that.” She said with a jovial lilt to her slightly gravelly voice. “It really is a shame I can never meet her. I would certainly have some choice words for her, that’s for sure.”

Connor leaned forward to whisper to her. “Would you like me to leave a message?” He jokingly asked. “I’m sure I can pass it along to her.”

Rachel smirked behind him. “I feel like she’s gotten the message at this point.” 

Connor chuckled at that. “On that, we can agree.”

Feeling his member twitch against her warm and wet entrance, Connor then felt Rachel sway her hips for him. “Are you just going to stare at me?” She asked with a quirk of her eyebrow. “Or are you going to finish what you started?”

[Continue]

[Finish]

Feeling that fire that had been building during this whole scene flare again, Connor swiftly grabbed Rachel and shoved her into the corner of the room, effectively caging her and rolling his hips against her. Tugging her hair and forcing her head to the side, Connor growled into her ear. “The safe word is ‘thirium.’ Got it?”

Rachel - Lover ^ All he got from her was a whimper accompanied by a nod. But that wasn’t good enough for him. Yanking Rachel’s hair again, Connor pressed her further into the corner, squeezing himself against her body. “I didn’t quite hear you.” He snarled as she whimpered helplessly.

“Y-yes, sir!” She yelped. “Understood. I’m all yours, sir!”

His circuits crackled at that as he lined up his head with her entrance. Sir. He repeated inwardly as he let go of her hair, resting his hands on her hips. Connor very much liked the sound of that. There was an air of authority of it. And it was uniquely invigorating to hear addressed to him.

And he was fully intent on using that vigor to completely ruin Rachel.

“Good.” A cruel smile stretched across his lips as Connor leered over her form. “Now, let’s see how many times I can make you cum on my cock alone.”

Objective: Fuck Rachel Into Submission

The only answer was a choked off scream.

--------

Muffled cries. Just what Connor didn’t want to hear. Perhaps in a different situation, he would enjoy the fact that Rachel could barely contain herself, so her only reprise was the muffling of a pillow.

But not this time. He didn’t want her to hold back, and he was fully prepared to snuff out any pride she tried to gain back. Snapping his hips into her on the large lavish bed, Connor wrenched one of his hands from Rachel’s hip and grabbed a fistful of her hair, harshly yanking her face from the pillow. “No!” He snarled into her ear as he leaned forward, his chest grazing her dappled backside. “Don’t you dare hold back! I want to hear you!”

“Y-yes, sir!” She whimpered. Indeed, it seemed that was all Rachel could say anymore, and Connor adored the way it sounded. They had been going at this for a while, and it was clear that she was approaching her limit. But Connor wasn’t done with her yet, but he would be soon.

Her strained screams and mewls were all Connor cared about. But while she obeyed his order not to muffle herself, she still clutched onto the pillow. And that irritated Connor in a way he didn’t understand. “Give me your hands.” He ordered.

Rachel struggled to slide her hands out and maneuver them towards him, and Connor was far too impatient for this. Harshly grabbing them and pulling her up from the bed, Connor snarled viciously into her neck. “I said give me your fucking hands!”

Complying with a hoarse whimper, she put her hands behind her back which allowed Connor the accessibility he needed to clasp a hand around both of her wrists. The fact that Rachel’s wrists were small enough for Connor to be able to maintain a firm grip on both of them with one hand was not lost on the android.

Unlatching his teeth from her flesh, Connor sat back up and brutally pounded into her, forcing her breath out in pitiful squeaks. He could feel her legs shaking and knew she was going to cum for the fourth time. But he had already decided he would get a fifth out of her.

Slipping his other hand between her legs, Connor’s fingers found her swollen and overstimulated nub and gently circled it in contrast to sheer cruelty he was lovingly inflicting on the rest of her body.

His own end was arriving soon, the tightness in his gut feeling as though it would burst. But he didn’t get tired. That was one of the beauties of being an android that they were both blessed to discover in this intimate and sinful moment between them.

It didn’t take long for her to cum as a broken scream followed by a series of gasps told Connor very clearly. As her walls clenched around him for the third time, Connor very quickly followed, that knot in his stomach coming undone as his cock throbbed and pulsated inside Rachel, thick streams of his own semen filling her up once more. If he were concerned about whether anyone else would use this bed, he would pay more mind to the mess that had decorated her thighs, glistening in the cold autumn afternoon light filtering through the window.

But Connor wasn’t finished. Pulling her up so that her back was flush against his chest, Rachel gasped in surprise, her head rolling back against his shoulder as he used the arm that was holding her hands to cage her against him. It amused him thoroughly that she barely had the strength to hold her own head up, but it was a good indicator that this would probably be as much as she could take for now.

It was of no surprise to Connor that she was shaking her head the moment he started pistoning into her again. “C-Connor..." She whined weakly. “I can’t...i-it’s too much.”

For a moment, he faltered. But he was determined to see this through. “Come on, darling.” He soothed her, lovingly stroking her chin with his thumb. “Gotta give me one more. You can use the safe word if you can’t handle it.” He assured her, causing Rachel to open her eyes drowsily at him. Her cheeks were stained with tears from the overstimulation. “Can you handle another?”

Gasping as Connor continued his thrusts up into her, she nodded, rolling her head to the side and closing her eyes. “Okay...okay..."

Pressing tender kisses along the marks the android left in her flesh, Connor picked up the speed of his thrusts. Even her whimpers were quiet and meek. She wouldn’t last very long. With the hand that was caging Rachel against his body, Connor began massaging a breast, gently pinching and rolling the nipple between his fingers as his other hand was working with her clit.

Rachel still flinched and jumped at his touches, but her voice would likely be very hoarse and used by the time this was over. It made Connor sorely regret not bringing a bottle of water for her to drink afterwards. But he would have to make up for it once they returned home.

For now, all he had to do was finish this.

“Cum for me, my love.” He murmured sweetly in his human partner’s ear. “I’ve got you. Don’t worry, just let go.”

It wasn’t as easy or quick or even intense as the first few times, but Rachel tensed with a cracked whimper and arched her back against Connor and he worked on easing her from the high, still chasing his own end. Softly caressing her curves and placing tender kisses wherever Connor could reach, he purred into her ear. “You’ve done so good for me, dear.” He praised, seeing her smiling at him in his peripheral vision. “Just hold on, I’m almost there.”

All she could do was weakly nod as Connor’s thrusts became more and more erratic, another familiar knot forming in his abdomen as he reached closer and closer to his nirvana. Panting and huffing in her ear like a dog in breeding season, Connor didn’t take long to cum as well, burying himself as deeply into Rachel as he could with a strained staticky groan. 

Still pumping into Rachel, Connor gently laid Rachel down onto the bed, making sure her head was nestled on the pillow. He released her hands and moved them so that she could position her head the way that felt most comfortable to her. 

After being sure that he was finished, Connor slid out of her, their combined fluids staining and dripping down onto the hardwood floors. Straightening his tie, Connor brought a hand down to his member and approached Rachel. Her dark brown eyes fluttered open as he approached. She was still breathing heavily and Connor bent down and kissed her temple. “Such a good girl.” He praised her, pleased at the contented hum and tender smile it earned. “Would you do me a favour and clean me up?”

Rachel - Lover ^ She smirked up at him, still breathing heavily. “Only if you return the favour.” Rachel bargained with him, wiggling her legs a bit. “But...after my legs start working again, please.”

“Of course.” Connor agreed, smiling affectionately at his partner. Even though he couldn’t get enough of the soft bliss that Rachel was a pristine picture of, part of him still wanted to tease her. “Though, we shouldn’t keep our friends waiting for too long. Now shouldn’t we.”

“Oh, fuck you.” She spat at him. 

Connor couldn’t help but feel happy that he hadn’t completely extinguished her eternal flame. He would find himself extremely disappointed if she had forever lost her sense of pride and defiance. “Again?” He asked her, teasing, tilting her chin up to face him. “You truly are insatiable.”

“You know what I meant, you smug bastard.” Rachel huffed, too tired to show any actual aggression towards him.

Connor chuckled a bit at her. “Even after having your pride quite literally fucked out of you, you still have bite in you.” He remarked, pleased to see her characteristic smirk. “How interesting.”

She scoffed at him. “You say that as though it’s not one of my most charming qualities.” And certainly no lack of an abundance of self-assurance.

Rachel - Lover ^ Another quality Connor couldn’t help but admire as he bent down to plant a firm kiss on her lips. “I would never say that.” He agreed, standing back on his feet. He angled his still soaked and wet cock in front of her expectantly. “Don’t keep me waiting.”

It was an order, but a gentle one. It was clear that Rachel was spent after five orgasms, and it would be unwise to continue to be ruthless after that. But she nevertheless responded, using her hands to angle his member wherever she needed to. Connor had to bite back a hiss as she licked several stripes up his shaft, making sure to catch as much as possible. It was evidently clear when she was moving her lips and her tongue all around him that she was intent on being thorough.

Her eyes were closed in contentment, a coy smile on her lips as she licked the last of their shared cum off him. But like the tease that she was, Rachel ran her tongue around his tip, suckling on it just a bit before she pulled back, a string of saliva still connecting them. Opening her eyes to look up at Connor, she placed a chaste kiss on the tip of his dick and then began tucking it back into his boxers and zipping up his fly.

It had only just occurred to Connor that while Rachel had stripped completely for him, Connor didn’t even bother to remove his tie. An observation that pleased him in a way he didn’t quite understand.

Doing his belt back up, Connor walked towards the mirror above the dresser, straightening his tie and making sure his hair was neatly done before he finished with Rachel. “Aren’t you...gonna return the favour?” She asked distantly from the bed.

As Connor walked around, collecting each article of clothing that belonged to her, he glanced over at her. “Impatient, are we?” He asked teasingly.

“A bit, I suppose.” Rachel replied, glancing over at him from over her shoulder, her dark brown eyes beckoning him closer. “After all, it’s only a courtesy. You could’ve at least left less of a mess of me. Or left me able to walk or stand up straight at the least.”

As Connor laid her clothes on the bed behind her, the android circled around to face her. “You say that as though you didn’t enjoy every moment of that. As if you’re not proud of the copious mess that’s slicking between your thighs right now.” He mocked as Rachel sat up, looking down at him as he kneeled before her. “And besides, we agreed on a safe word and I’ve reminded you about it repeatedly.”

“I realize this, but shh.” Rachel shushed Connor, looking away from him. Situating himself between her thighs as he neared himself to the left side. He waited for her to glance down at him and gave her a devilish smirk accompanied by a raise of an eyebrow. Rachel rolled her eyes at him as she gave him a genuine smile. “But yes, I really enjoyed that. Dominance really fucking works for you, Connor.”

Rachel - Lover ^ Connor started licking away the mess he’d made of her, pausing between kisses and licks to talk. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He said in earnest as he neared closer and closer to her swollen and slick flesh, brushing past it to clean up her right side, amused at the small whine Rachel made. “In any case, we shouldn’t keep our friends waiting for too long.” He reminded her, smirking against the soft plumpness of her thigh. “After all, I’m eagerly looking forward to watching you try to explain yourself.”

Her eyes then widened in comical realization as she then narrowed them at Connor. “You motherfucker!” Rachel exclaimed.

But all it took was a hard press of his tongue up her slit to quiet Rachel’s complaints, Connor dragging a low and pleasant moan out of her as he lapped up and sucked on her. He paused to look up at her, smiling. “Think you can handle one more?”

Rachel’s eyes darted back and forth, squinting as her thick brows bunched together in contemplation. Once her rich mahogany eyes landed on Connor’s, her lips softened into a blissful smile, Rachel reaching out with her hand to stroke his cheek tenderly. She then threw herself back on the bed with a sigh, hooking her legs over his shoulder. “Alright.” She breathed. “One more, and then we go.”

Pleased with her answer, Connor dove into Rachel as though she was the most lavish and exquisite delicacy known to all mankind. And he would not be satisfied until she was.

--------

Date: November 14th, 2038  Time: 5:38 PM Rachel - Lover Objective: Check in with Rachel

Arriving back at Rachel’s home, Connor immediately went towards the kitchen, taking his shoes off and greeting Bear at the door. “I’ll go ahead and take him out.” Rachel said hastily before Connor stopped her.

“You should rest.” He insisted. “After all, you’re still fairly exhausted and I wouldn’t want you to overexert yourself.”

“And whose fault was that?” Rachel asked with a scoff and a knowing look.

“Yours.” Connor responded smartly. “After all, you were the one who deliberately and knowingly teased me all day in front of everyone and then didn’t even try to stop me once we were alone.”

Pursing her lips, the human woman seemed to accept defeat, letting out a begrudging sigh. “Whatever, I’ve still got my shoes on, so I’ll do it anyway.” She said, grabbing the leash from the hallway and getting the harness on the large black dog, whose tail was wagging back and forth excitedly. “Come on, boy. I’ll take you out now.”

She was out the door, so Connor thought the next best thing to do for her would be to at least get her a glass of water to hydrate her.

Admittedly, it was very fun to watch Rachel flounder to explain herself once they left the bedroom, which Connor then realized smelled overwhelmingly like sex once he emerged back into the cold crisp air of the rest of the house. The others were waiting downstairs, doing whatever they felt like getting up to without the pair, and the first to notice their return was Hank, of course.

“There you are, you fuckers!” The lieutenant groaned in response, drawing the attention of the androids, North giving them a very pointed look. “You’ve been gone for like an hour. What the fuck were you doing?”

Watching Rachel’s eyes dart back and forth as she tried to come up with a convincing lie to tell Hank was quite amusing. And even more entertaining was the lie Rachel ended up telling. “Well, we talked for a little bit, and since Connor was so worried about my physical well-being, we did some...uh, training!”

It was admittedly quite humorous to see the skeptical look on the lieutenant’s face, but seemingly he’d rather not ask further questions out of disgust at the potential details of what they were actually doing.

And afterwards, Hank gave the pair a ride back to Rachel’s home, parting ways with the androids of Jericho, before going home himself, exhausted from all the activities. But not before Connor got a very pointed telepathic message from North. You do realize I used to be a sex android, right? Next time, pick a more discreet location to be perverts and teach Rachel to be a better liar.

Connor simply gave her a polite smile as he left. I’ll do my best.

But now, as he waited in the dining room with a glass of water ready for Rachel to drink, he was left alone with his thoughts for the first time all day since this morning. And Connor’s feelings were...good. He enjoyed the time he spent, with Rachel and Hank. He was growing accustomed to simply spending the time with them outside of work. And now that they didn’t have to worry about any urgent situations or circumstances, it was easy to be at peace.

And being able to spend time with Markus, North, and Josh made Connor feel more at peace about himself as well. It was a huge weight off his shoulders to know that they didn’t think ill of him despite everything and that they considered him an equal. He began to regard them as close friends and he had a feeling that their friendship would only grow.

But despite everything and the effort Rachel put in to make Connor feel more at ease and in control of himself, which did work. He felt better about himself and about his programming now than he did this morning.

But there was still that doubt. That small voice in the back of his mind in his processors that still whispered disparaging and discouraging affirmations to him. Words that coiled around Connor’s confidence in a chokehold.

His nightmare was fresh in his mind, still. Although he was more comfortable knowing that that’s all it was, there were still things from it that unsettled Connor to his core. And indeed, when he thought back on today in the context of the fear his nightmare instilled in him, Connor realized something.

He was afraid of losing control. At any moment, he could’ve hurt Rachel. At any moment, Amanda could’ve taken control and forced him to do something horrible to her. It was an irrational fear, but a prevalent one. But it wasn’t just that, either.

He was also afraid of giving up control. Because he saw what Rachel was capable of when she killed Sixty. It was gruesome and it was terrifying, but it was also alluring in a disturbing way. And despite understanding that it was simply an unorthodox method of attack and that Rachel was only protecting Connor, there was no doubt that there was something paralyzing about the thought of letting Rachel have that control. Because he essentially had to watch Rachel kill a lookalike of Connor in a way that was inhuman.

And he couldn’t help but put himself in that position and feel an uncomfortable pit in his stomach at the thought of it. Even though he knew Rachel would never hurt him, not on purpose, he couldn’t shake that thought or that fear away.

But he didn’t have long to ruminate on these thoughts before Rachel returned, Bear huffing with snow on his paws and on his belly, and shaking melting water droplets everywhere. His eyes landed on her as she undid the harness on the large dog and started drying him with a nearby towel before letting him run back into the house. Connor couldn’t stifle the smile at how the dog immediately ran to grab a toy to play with and teethe.

As Rachel approached Connor with a smile, the android held out the glass of water to her, of which she accepted appreciatively. “Thanks.” She said, having a seat and taking a long sip from the glass. Setting the glass down, she slumped against the table with a long sigh. “I could nap right now.” She groaned, gently grabbing Connor’s hand and stroking her thumb along his knuckles. “But it was a good day, right?”

Sincere

Indifferent

Nightmare

Rachel - Lover ^ “It was.” Connor agreed, offering her a smile as he looked down at her.

Now that they were in the quiet of her home between them, he felt more at ease. Yet, as Rachel looked at him, her brows then quickly furrowed at him as she examined his face. “You okay?” She asked him. “You have that look. That ‘something’s bothering me, but I don’t wanna burden anyone else with my problems’ look.”

As Connor looked into her rich brown eyes, he let himself chuckle a bit. “Nothing escapes you, does it?” He asked somewhat rhetorically.

“I’ve seen that look enough times to recognize it at a glance.” Rachel informed him, interlacing her fingers with his and bringing his hand to her lips, placing a soft kiss on his knuckles. “So, what’s up?”

Connor thought for a moment what he should tell her before she answered for him. “You’re still thinking about it, aren’t you.” Rachel presumed. “Your nightmare.”

Truth

Lie

The android nodded forlornly.

Rachel sighed. “That’s okay.” She relented, giving him a bittersweet smile. “I knew your problems weren’t gonna just go away after one day. And it’s totally normal to still feel thrown off by it. It’s...just gonna be like that for a while.” She then leaned against him, and Connor did the same, pressing his cheek into her forehead. “But did today help you feel better, at least?”

Yes

No

Rachel - Lover ^ “It did.” Connor replied in earnest, kissing her forehead.

“Good.” Rachel said appreciatively, resting her head in the crook of his neck before speaking again. “So...did you wanna talk about it?”

Connor thought again back to the nightmare. What exactly did he want to tell her about it? How he was fearful of giving up control? How he was afraid of losing control and hurting her as a result? How he was afraid that she might deem him as a threat and hurt him?

[No]

[Yes]

Perhaps it was better to be honest with her. After all, she gave him the freedom to reject her offer and discuss it another time. But perhaps she could give him some necessary insight into his fears like she did when he was first awoken from it.

Connor nodded and pulled away from her, still grasping her hand. Her patient brown eyes were locked on his, a small appreciative smile on her lips. Looking at her sweet face melted the cold and fearful parts of the android and made him feel more comfortable in this moment of vulnerability.

“Seeing Amanda in my nightmare...made me realize just what my worst fears are.” He began to explain to Rachel. “I think the reason I saw her at all...was because of what happened that night, when we won the revolution. When...Amanda took control of me.”

Rachel nodded in acknowledgement. “Right, that would make sense.”

At least she was able to. “It made me realize just how easily I could’ve lost everything I had gained.” Connor confessed. “In the blink of an eye, everything I loved and cared about was going to be ripped away from me, and there was nothing I could do. Until I realized I could escape. But what would’ve happened if Kamski hadn’t warned me about the emergency exit? I...I would’ve lost everything.” Connor then registered the fear and anguish in his human companion’s eyes. “I would’ve lost you.”

Rachel then gave him a painful smile. “But you didn’t.” She reminded him firmly. “You escaped, and I’m still here. And so are you.”

To hear her reaffirm that was helpful and made Connor feel more secure in himself. “But I’m still afraid.” He admitted, a small twinge of shame in his voice. “I’m afraid of it happening again. I’m afraid of Amanda taking control of me and...making me hurt you.” He finally managed to choke out. “And I’m afraid of losing control. It’s...it’s why I was so rough with you earlier. It felt good to have that control. It made me feel more secure. But...I was still afraid even then.”

“Hey, that’s okay.” Rachel said, stopping him before he could spiral. “If I didn’t want you to, I would’ve stopped you. You gave me a safe word and I didn’t feel like I needed to use it at any point, Connor. Because I trust you. I trust that you would never hurt me and that Amanda’s truly gone, now.” 

He knew she meant that. Connor knew that Rachel meant that completely and wholeheartedly. And her unshakable faith in him quieted some of his doubts. 

And if she trusted him so completely...perhaps he should do the same. “I’m also afraid of giving up that control.” Connor continued. “I’m afraid of not having it. That not being in control would just make me the same as I once was. An object. Something to use and control.”

“Believe me, I understand that feeling painfully.” Rachel empathized, her gaze intense, an edge of venom to it. Connor tried to grasp for the reason and found it. Luis. The man who had abused her as a teenager. “But there’s a key difference between control being taken from you, or being made or raised to obey and nothing else, and willingly relinquishing that control temporarily.” She explained. “Giving up control willingly doesn’t make you weak or less of a person. Because it’s still a choice you get to make for yourself. A choice you can take back whenever you wish. And you can choose who you give that control to. You can choose who you trust enough to have control over you until you decide you want it back. And you’re no less of your own person or independent because of it.”

To hear those words spoken to Connor from a position like Rachel’s was vindicating. He wasn’t wrong to be afraid or to be wary. But that he could overcome it and choose what he wanted to do with himself and his life and position. And as long as it was his choice, he was always his own person.

Connor felt his eyelids grow tight as he leaned forward, resting his head against Rachel’s, feeling cool tears slide down his cheeks. “Thank you..." He breathed softly to her.

“Of course.” Rachel replied tenderly, stroking his cheek with her other hand. “I’ve always got you, Connor. And I’ll be here for you every step of the way, no matter how tough or ugly it gets. No matter what happens, I’m here. Whatever you need, I’m here to help.”

“I know.” Connor replied, smiling. “And I’m so thankful to have you in my life.”

“And I, you.” Rachel leaned forward and pressed her lips against Connor’s softly, her touch as tender and light as silk sheets. The android happily returned the gesture, but with as much sweetness and gentleness as she displayed herself. 

Pulling back, there was a niggling thought in his head that he wanted to share with Rachel. A proposition of sorts he wanted her opinion on. “Can I ask you something?”

Rachel laughed sweetly at him. “Always, Connor.”

Amanda

Control

Jericho

Sixty

The android suddenly felt small, dwarfed in spirit in her presence. Swallowing his pride, he let his feelings be known. “You know...how I asserted my dominance over you earlier?” He reminded Rachel. “In the bedroom of the house?”

“I recall, yes.” She replied somewhat playfully.

Connor avoided her gaze, turning his head away slightly. “Would..." His voice caught in his throat as he tried to voice his honest feelings. “Would...it be too much to ask if you did the same?”

Rachel seemed taken aback by his request, but all Connor could see in her eyes when he looked back at her was pure concern. “Are you sure?” She asked him, her brows knitted together.

Connor nodded timidly. “Y-yes.” He stammered out. “It’s just that...hearing you say how much you trust me when I had control over you made me think that...perhaps I can move past my fears if I trust you to have control over me.” He felt so shameful. “I-I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t trust you.”

Rachel nodded, taking in his request. “I see your logic.” She agreed, detaching her hand from his and cupping his other cheek with it so she was forcing him to look at her. “But...are you sure you’re ready? I’d be glad to, don’t get me wrong. But...I don’t wanna push you if you’re not ready. We don’t have to do it right away, we can take as long as you need to.”

Connor wasn’t sure how to answer her. He did want to, he really did. There was no one else he could trust to do it. But he did feel an apprehension to the thought. A certain prickly and paralyzing feeling was forming in his abdomen at the thought of relinquishing control. “I..." He struggled to answer her, but she then interfaced with him, then, and Connor felt much more secure and safe. Much less anxious.

Rachel then shook her head as she leaned against him with a sigh. “You’re not ready, yet.” She decided. “I can tell. I can feel it. But I want you to be able to tell me. I want you to be able to tell me no.”

Yes

No

Connor knew she meant that. There was nothing but patience and understanding that he could feel on her end. All she really cared about was his safety and wellbeing and she would never dare compromise that. “You’re right.” He admitted, feeling much more confident in himself. “I’m...not ready.”

Rachel - Lover ^ Rachel let out a sigh and let go of Connor, leaning into his chest. “Good.” Was all she said in response. “You’re allowed not to be. It’s okay not to be. Whenever you do feel ready, I will be. But you get to decide when that is, got it?”

Connor wrapped his arms around Rachel with a relaxed sigh. “Got it.”

For a while, the pair just stayed there in each other’s arms, taking complete comfort in each other. Connor couldn’t imagine having this level of complete security and comfort with anyone else. Indeed, Rachel was his home. His rock. His safe place. And she made sure he knew that, no matter how many times she would have to remind him.

After a good while, Rachel separated from Connor with an exhausted groan. “I am pretty beat, though.” She said with a good long stretch, the clear sounds of her back cracking making Connor want to cringe out of sympathy for her. “How about we just spend the rest of the day relaxing on the couch, hm? Maybe watch a movie or two?”

Connor smiled, getting up from the table and following her to the television. “Sure.” He replied eagerly. “What did you have in mind?”

“A movie I really liked as a kid that I think you will.” Rachel explained vaguely before she turned around and pointed at him. “But again, you’re not allowed to look up anything about it! It ruins the fun!”

Connor followed her and sat down next to her, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. “I would never.” He teased her. “I’d hate to be unpleasant.”

“You big squish.” Rachel cooed affectionately at him, already getting in position with the remote in her hand. “It’s called Wall-E. It’s an animated movie from when I was a kid about two robots falling in love in a post-apocalyptic Earth where trash has sort of accumulated, leaving the planet uninhabitable.” She then flashed him an excited grin that Connor couldn’t help but adore. “I think you’ll really like it.”

---------------------------------

Next Chapter

[jadekitty777]

Fate’s Arrow: Chapter One

Today’s entry I actually started before Valentine’s Day, and it was supposed to be for the holiday. But I fell behind on my goal line - then FG week was announced with the exact theme I was using for the entry I decided I would repurpose it for the shipweek instead.

And I still didn’t finish this one.

So I’m cheating a little bit. Unfortunately, for as great as I have done for the week (and I won’t lie, I’m very impressed with myself) a month to do seven stories is VERY demanding for me. I’m just not fast enough nor do I have enough free time to make it happen without my quality dipping. And I want y’all to read a product I’m proud of.

SO, all this to say... that this is the first chapter of this tale. I will readdress it at a future time, but I hope you enjoy this one!

Day 4: Soulmates

Rating: K+

Pairing: Qrow/Clover

Word Count: 1.4k

Ao3 Link: Chapter One

Summary: It was said to be the work of Fate: A date etched one’s wrist, in the color of another's eyes, that foretold a destined meeting with one's soulmate.

Qrow took one look at his and decided the person with teal eyes he was meant to encounter on February 14th was more trouble than they were worth. [Modern Soulmate AU]

Qrow was pretty sure when he was born, Fate took one look at him, laughed hysterically, and then, like the conniving mistress She was, etched in the color of his other half’s irises what had to be the most ironic date in the world to find his soulmate:

February, 14th

That’s all he got. A day and an eye color. Nothing more, nothing less. Not even the year – for all he knew, he’d met his soulmate before he could even talk.

He thumbed at his wristband, where below the teal green ink was hidden. Then scoffed at himself when he realized what he was doing.

Soulmates, pah! What good was a soulmate, anyways? He’d seen what it had done to his best friend, how Tai had practically danced on Cloud 9 for five years only to lose Summer and trade in all that joy for Stage 5 depression instead. There was nothing romantic or fulfilling about that. It was just sad. And to think the same could happen to him?

Qrow was pretty sure he had enough problems to fill out the Dignostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders himself, thank you very much.

He reached across the bathroom sink, plucking out his contact lenses from their case and placing them in either eye. He blinked rapidly a few times to get used to the feeling, looking into the now blue orbs staring back at him.

He had no intention of being a pawn of Fate whom was already twittering away over destining them to meet on the so called “Day of Love”.

He set the case aside, gave himself one more appraising look, before heading out the door.

Besides, with his luck, even if he did find them, his soulmate wouldn’t even like him.

~

Tai was intent on giving him hell for it – just like every year before.

“I just don’t understand why you insist on making yourself unhappy.” He was saying as he slowed the car down for a stop light.

Qrow looked up from the emails he was riffling through (mostly junk about it being the ‘Last day to buy for his one and only!’), to frown towards the blond. “Hey, who says I’m unhappy?”

Tai rolled his own naturally blue eyes at him. “Oh, I don’t know, why don’t we ask Jack Daniels?”

He rolled his eyes right back. “Just because I knock back a few every now and again-”

“Every now and again? Qrow, for awhile, it was almost every night!”

“Yeah, and I got better. What more do you want from me?” He huffed. As the light turned green and they started moving again, he added, “What does this have to do with anything, anyways?”

“Because I don’t want to see you like that again man! It was, scary.” Tai brow had furrowed with stress, a crinkling at the edges of his eyes that made it look like he might cry.

Gods, Qrow hated it that expression. It made his gut twist in unpleasant ways.

So, he looked out the window instead. “And what, finding my soulmate will be the cure to my alcoholism?”

“No, but it would be something positive for you. Which you do need more of in your life.” He replied, taking a right onto Beacon Boulevard.

Leafless trees framed either side of the street. Last night’s snowfall was still heaped heavily into the knots of trunks and today’s sun caused the icicles clinging to the branches to shine brightly. They only had a few houses to go before they pulled up to the curb of their destination – a moderately sized two-story house that sheltered a rather unusual collective within its walls. Oz’s Home Away From Home was a group home for recently orphaned kids as well as teenagers who fell out of unfavorable foster home situations. The facility was meant to provide a safe space for kids to recover from or deal with trauma and grief rather than immediately allow the government social workers to chuck them into the system and forget about their pain.

Having been fosters themselves during a time when the organization was an even more unfavorable mess, Tai and Qrow had both been volunteering for nearly a decade now at Oz’s. They came by every other Saturday, working with the kids there to rehabilitate or counsel them. It was difficult, trying to instill hope into the children when Qrow knew they felt at their lowest. He’d been there right along with them once, and hoped that the man they could see now acted as an example that things did get better. That there was still a future out there for them.

Tai pulled the break and cut the engine, but that did nothing for his motormouth. “Look, all I’m saying is, are you really going to be satisfied letting the opportunity to meet your soulmate pass you by?”

He shrugged as he unbuckled his seatbelt.  “There’s plenty of people who don’t have a date on their wrist and they seem to make it through life just fine. I don’t see why I’d be any different.” He threw open the door, adding as he got out. “Just ‘cause I have one doesn’t mean I need them.”

“It’s not-”

He slammed the door closed before he had to hear anymore.

He enjoyed the blissful silence for all of two seconds, when Tai got out from the other side, “You bast-”

This time he was saved by the front door flying open. “Oscar-!” He heard Oz yelling from inside.

But it did nothing to pause the freckled-faced boy from running down the steps of the stoop, calling brightly, “Mr. Qroooow!”

Qrow grinned, swooping up the little five-year-old in his arms and lifting him high just like he liked. “Hey you lil’ rascal.”

He giggled holding his arms out. “I’m the crow now.”

“That you are.” He laughed. As he peered past the boy, he could see Ozpin making his way over.

It was easy to tell from his unusually rumpled appearance that it had probably been a hard morning for the caretaker. “Sorry, he got away from me.”

“No need to be sorry, I can’t think of a more wonderful greeting.” Tai said as he made his way around the car. He held out his hands, letting Qrow deposit Oscar into them.

“Mr. Long!” The boy immediately started fiddling with the fringed ends of Tai’s yellow scarf. “Did you bring gifts?”

The blond made a show of thinking really hard. “Hmmmm, I can’t recall. Maybe we need to check the trunk and see?”

“Need help carrying anything?”

The new voice was unexpected and had Qrow looking towards the door, eyebrows rising at the man coming down the steps. He remembered Ozpin mentioning a new volunteer would be joining them today – a friend of a friend, was what he had said. But he hadn’t mentioned more than that. Like, perhaps, the slightly more interesting fact that he was from the military.

From head to toe, the new fellow was decked out in the white uniform of a navy officer, even the circular, wire-frame sunglasses. The only thing he didn’t have was the low-brimmed cap. Probably didn’t want to contain that slightly ridiculous updo he had, which reminded Qrow of a crest of feathers certain birds had. Something glinted on his chest, catching his eye, and he tried to make out what it was.

“Any help would be appreciated!” Tai called from where he was trying to juggle Oscar and get the trunk open. The new guy hurried over to relinquish him of the boy which turned out to be a bit more difficult when he refused to let go of Tai’s scarf.

Oz joined in the effort, helping to untangle them, and once he had a good hold of Oscar, the soldier stepped back to stand beside Qrow instead.

It gave him a chance to get a better look at the medallion on the collar of his shirt. He snorted as he realized it was a brooch in the shape of a four-leaf clover. “Hey shamrock, I think you decorated for the wrong holiday.”

“Huh? Oh, you mean this?” He flicked one edge as he adjusted his grip on Oscar. “Nah this is just an old keepsake of mine.”

“Mr. Bee? Can I wear your glasses again?” The little boy asked, wide-eyed and hopeful.

“Sure kid.” He lowered his head so he could reach up and take them.

Qrow snorted again. “Bee?”

“Ebi, actually. Clover Ebi.” The other man corrected, looking up at him with a grin that was almost blinding.

But only almost – and almost just wasn’t enough.

As he stared into the other’s teal green eyes, Qrow swore the sudden rushing in his ears was the sound of Fate pouring Herself a glass of well-deserved wine.

Oh fuck.

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 95

“Café ou thé?” Tony’s work around, his gentle hand, asking you in a wonderful purr of french- coffee or tea? The two of you had been working on your … traumas, and when phrased like this, there was no spike. No extra voice in your head. No remembering of the immense pain. Just the sound of his voice and a simple question. One you could answer without thinking too much. 

“Tea, please.” 

Though the vacation didn’t have an end date (and officially didn’t even have a start date, to be fair), you both knew it was coming to a close, soon. Which was fine. You couldn’t stay hidden from the world and all your responsibilities forever. Much as you would have liked to. 

When he came around the small table, interrupting your view of the forest and mountains beyond, you tipped your head up, accepting the press of his light kiss at your forehead as he settled a mug of freshly steeped tea in front of you. This was what your life was supposed to be. This was how you wanted to be. It just wasn’t meant to be. 

So you had to enjoy it now. And in between little touches of lips and snuggles, tea and coffee gone, you asked, “Can we go on a hike?” There was just so much scenery facing you since you’d gotten here. It seemed a waste to just look at it once and never actually enjoy it. 

“You going native on me?” 

A little joke, a short shared huff of laughter. And then on a hike the two of you went. 

It had just rained- a freezing sort, entering into December now. (Truly a very long lived- deserved vacation.) Maybe it hadn’t been the smartest idea. But you pulled him over one path, and he tugged you over the next. Birds were still singing here, somehow. Or maybe it was just your imagination. The thing that mattered was it smelled earthy, it felt good. Most of your life now was surrounded by screens and walls that trapped you. Just being able to look up into a massive lush sky…

It was as he’d moved to sit on a log, a few hours into such a freeing walk, that you stepped out over a ledge. Holding to yourself as you looked down. 

Something blew by you as you closed your eyes. And saw… just the two of you. No one around for miles. Except… 

You could have sworn you’d heard him speaking to you- something garbled and soft. Turning, arms folded, you gave him a curious look. “Did you say something?” 

He arched a brow. “You hearing things?” 

“Must have been the wind.”

                                                        ----

Since Tony had fulfilled your only ask by way of returning to nature for a handful of hours, before you were due to set off, he asked you to accompany him around Tokyo. You knew this would be a bad decision. There wasn’t anywhere the two of you could go that was that full of people that you wouldn’t be seen. 

Which is exactly what had ended up happening. More than once groups of people surrounded the two of you, asking for pictures and autographs. If Tony wasn’t acting like such a shutter-darling, soaking up all the attention (especially when asked to do the famous Iron Man pose), you might have had a problem with it. The longer it went on, the more suspicious you grew. Did Tony want to go out only to get seen? But the real reason for the outing became clear when he took you to a small shop, tucked away from all the screams and shouts, all the hustle and bustle. There he made light conversation with a very old shopkeeper by way of JARVIS for translation (Japanese not his strong suit without assistance, which was fine, you didn’t speak it at all). Once all was said and done he was presented with a very old but beautiful tea set, which the shopkeeper wrapped up so gently in pretty black and silver paper. 

Once Tony paid and had it under his arm, he turned to you with one of those softer smiles of appeal. “Mind if we hit DC on the way back?” Ah. 

So, very easily you let him know, “Of course not.” 

You had a floral arrangement prepped alongside a minimal yet somehow grandiose dinner, as per Tony’s instructions, and called ahead to the nursing home to have them clear a part of the cafeteria for you. The table was wonderfully set, quite cozy and almost… like a home. And the two of you stood, his arm around you a little tight- that small yet steady thrum of anxiousness and that sadness he tried to bury swirling about as a nurse helped Peggy in and sat her down. 

As she looked up at him, her hazy eyes lit up. “Oh- Tony- I didn’t know you were stopping by. I thought they were marching me out for some grand final moment in the courtyard.” Chuckling, truly delighted to see him. 

You let him go, standing back, so that he could give her one of those quick squeezes, a little peck on the cheek, and the low voiced, “It’s good to see you, Aunt Peggy.” 

“You’re as handsome as ever. Like your father- don’t tell him I said that. Getting into all sorts of trouble, I’ll bet.” Giving him a pat on the face, really looking at him as he sat down beside her. “How is Howard? And Maria? I feel like I don’t see them much anymore.” 

The painfulness hit you, like a sharp poke in the chest. “They’re fine. Hey- I got you something-” Trying to cut off the cyclical repetition of an aging mind. 

“Oh- you didn’t have to do that- and this dinner- that’s you, too, isn’t it. You’ll make the staff work too hard.” She took hold of the carefully handpicked present he’d brought from her. 

“That’s what we pay them for.” Sarcastic as ever in the face of it all. When he half turned to give you a look over the fact that you were sort of awkwardly just standing there, you moved to sit down. You’d spoken to this woman a few times now, a little more personally the first you’d ever met her, but… it never stopped being hard. 

And as soon as you got comfortable, she looked up at you. “Oh, hello. Who’s this? Don’t tell me you got another assistant.”

“Hi, ma’am-” You’d done this introduction more than once. It never stopped being difficult. 

Though she smiled, she looked at Tony. “What happened to Pepper? I always thought-” 

“Pep’s fine. Working hard, like always.” He gave her a little gentle touch at her arm. And then… just like the sparse times you’d done this before, he reintroduced you. You sat there, hoping the clouds would dissipate, but knowing they wouldn’t. “-my girlfriend.” 

“Girlfriend, goodness. When are you getting married?” Waving a hand at the both of you. 

At this he smiled. “For once, I don’t think that’s up to me.” 

She put her hand down over yours. “He’s a fine man. For the most part. If you can tolerate that mouth every now and again.” 

You couldn’t help your giggles. “Truer words have never been spoken.” 

“Hey, thanks.” He put his elbow on the table, and settled his chin in his upturned palm. 

“Oh- this is gorgeous- thank you-” Peggy had finally unwrapped her tea set. And yet, seemed a little more preoccupied with the conversation at hand. “I mean what I said, you know. And if he gives you trouble, send him here. I wasn’t afraid to put him in a corner when he was a boy, I’m not afraid to, now.” 

“Oh?” Wanting to hear all about that. 

“Yes- well. It takes a village to raise a child right- especially a boy- especially a boy like Tony.” And while said boy was about to try and cut this off, you felt the slip, and she put her hand on his arm next. “How are Howard and Maria? Are they coming? And Mr. Jarvis, and Ana… I feel like I haven’t seen them in a while.” 

Tony put a firm hand over hers, giving her a squeeze. “They’re alright, Peggy. Everyone’s okay.” 

“I love it when I get to see everyone… and Daniel- do you know… I think… I think my room has been empty for a long time…” 

There was a flutter of panic- first from Tony. “Dan’s okay, aunt Peggy. Everyone is okay. Hey- are you hungry? I think somebody actually went outside and shot this turkey, so we should probably-” Then from her. “Daniel- I think… I think my room is empty-” 

“Hey, look at me, okay?” It took all your fortitude to sit through this. As Tony placed a hand on her face, turned her to look at him. “Everything’s alright.” You weren’t sure what to do. Or, more importantly, if you should do something. But… watching the both of them struggle… 

You slipped. You went deep. And with that bright orange sky cast above you, you settled a hand on Peggy’s heart. Everything is okay. Everyone is okay. Imparting calm and a wash of ease. 

And when your vision cleared, you saw her smiling at Tony. Her trembling had stopped. They were talking about something, though the words were muffled. Underneath the table, you held your hands together tightly. “Dear?” But she called your attention forward, and you saw the both of them looking at you. “I’m g̴o̸i̶n̵g̴ ̸t̷o̵ ̷m̸a̸k̸e̵ ̵t̸e̸a̸. W̴̱̊ö̴͚̘́̿̂ͅu̵̢̾̈́̎l̸̲̇d̵̤̑ ̴͓̔ý̴̏̄ͅo̸̯͝ū̷̫̯̳ ̵̟̇́̔l̶̩̝͊ī̵͜k̶͖̕e̸̩͋͝ ̴̱̦̩̏̀́s̴͚̏̈́̓ǫ̶͇͒̌m̷̢̙͉͗̔̏ḛ̷̺̀?̴͚͉̔̓͑?̸?” It came out in dark static. That accent-

You swallowed hard. And held yourself steady through the rise of urgent panic. Tony was dealing with enough. And who knew- if you spiraled, you could potentially kill Peggy. 

“Yes- that would be… that would be nice…” Be strong. Be strong… 

                                                       ----

Once outside the facility, Tony took your hand in a grip that threatened to crush your bones. But you let him. Because it grounded you. It wasn’t until the two of you were back on the jet, still hand in hand, your gaze out the window, that he finally spoke- “Thank you. For everything you just did back there.” 

You found yourself nodding mindlessly. “Yeah.” 

“I’m sorry. I should have realized- I should have thought-” About to apologize for the monumental gaff of accidentally inviting you to tea time with his sick aunt. 

“Hey… who is Ana?” But now you were the one cutting off a wave of panic, with the undertow of heavy guilt. Because. Honestly. Right now? You just couldn’t handle it. “Ana was Jarvis’ wife.” 

Along with Howard and Maria… Tony’s life had been laid bare. A string of accidents and tragedies had left him alone for a very long time. A continual cycle until it had just been him in a big house with a familiar voice… his hand had clutched to yours so hard, so suddenly, probably thinking the same thing. Visiting the one face that had been such an integral part of his growing up, yet was doomed to not be able to grasp the losses they’d all suffered. 

The people who had raised him. All gone now. That was the way life was, wasn’t it? But the other man she’d been the most concerned about… it seemed fairly obvious. You put a hand over his to try and ease the grip he had on you. He apologized when he realized, by way of lifting your hand to press a kiss to the back.

In the silence you dared to ask. Just to get the whole picture. Finally.

“Who is Daniel?”

“Dan was Peggy’s husband.” 

“Oh.” 

You wondered briefly if Steve knew about that, considering… 

                                                       ----

Really none of your business. But- as if you’d invited more storm into your house- the minute that you and Tony had gotten back, the man in question was practically waiting to pounce. Your elevator had only just exited on the top floor, you had only just stepped out, gone into the kitchen for a glass of water with Tony- and then the telltale ding hit the floor, and the two of you stepped around the bend to see him standing there. 

Tony, speaking with a mouth half full of stale cookie (that had been sitting on the counter in a box since you’d left), “You okay, buddy? You look like you ran all the way up the stairs- but- I seem to remember hearing our private elevator just open…” Making no effort to show that he was getting annoyed with all the unannounced visits to what was basically your home. 

There was little hiding the frustration leaking off of him. He shook a weak gesture Tony’s way before pointing your way. “Can I talk to you, please?” Then, also not hiding the look he gave Tony before his eyes came back to you, “-in private?” 

“Oh, good.” Tony answered first, turning back around. “I don’t have to be part of whatever this is. Squabbles over the toilet seat being left up I imagine.” Pressing a little kiss to your temple before departing. There was a quiet message between the two of you here. No secrets, and it had been that way for a long time. So he trusted you to go talk to Steve and deal with whatever this was. And trusted you to talk to him about it if it was serious. And not just over petty living squabbles. 

And with the way Steve was looking at you… “Sure. In the living room okay?” 

“Somewhere more private. If you don’t mind.” 

“Oh.” Although you and Tony had been gone for a month, sure, you had hoped they’d be able to handle themselves. But as usual, the literal second vacation was over, it was back to stress and nonsense. “Sure. Let’s go to my office downstairs.” 

“Thank you.” Curt with just as sharp a nod. 

Holding back a sigh (and practically all your nerves), you stepped in line with him by his side as you called the elevator back. And then got in. And then… waited in terribly strained silence while it descended. Upon opening onto one of the Stark Industries floors, you got out first, and waved off all the people trying to hand you things and ask for stuff. Opening the door to your office, you allowed him in first, and then closed the door behind you. 

As if even this was not enough, after looking around (like he’d never been in here before, which was certainly not the case), he gave you a look. “Nothing we talk about leaves this room, right?” 

He wasn’t just asking to speak to you in confidence. And, understanding that, “LUNA, nothing comes in or goes out for the next twenty minutes.” 

She answered fairly quickly, “Yes, ma’am. All channels blocked. Nothing leaves this space.” 

You gestured for him to sit down on the long couch backed up against the wall, and you sat on the plush chair in front of your desk facing him. “Okay. So. What’s the matter?” 

He sat forward, hands clasped together. “What do you know about the Zodiac weapon?” 

Unable to help the curious turn of your head, a few blinks- a little pause for thought- as that didn’t sound familiar but… you had to think about it to make sure. And when you were, “I don’t know what that is. Is it something serious?” 

“It’s a biological weapon.” 

Oh. That was something extremely serious. “Do we have orders to go get it?” 

“No need. SHIELD already has it.” The look he was leveling your way was icy. It put you in your place for a moment. It wasn’t just frustration now. It was pretty white-hot anger. “Swear to me you don’t know anything about it.” 

It felt very much like he was accusing you of something, and it was hard not to immediately get defensive. “I swear, Steve. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Giving this room to breathe, keeping your eyes on his. You weren’t sure what was going on (although you could guess), but if he distrusted you, it was going to be one step in a long fall downhill. That much you understood. “What’s going on? Should I be worried?” 

He stared at you for a few seconds longer before his eyes closed for a moment as he dropped his head in a shake. “No more so than you and Tony usually are. I know it feels like a long time ago but… I feel stupid for giving the two of you grief back on the helicarrier. Even knowing what we found out then… it just never ends.” 

“...Steve?” Really not knowing what to do with that. He was talking about before New York got attacked? 

He looked up at you again, gaze softer, but no less serious. “I think you should step away from SHIELD, effective immediately.” He was trying to protect you from something. But… 

It was starting to get on your nerves. He was refusing to tell you what this was all about. “Why?” 

“You know why.” 

Asking you plainly to put the pieces together, so I don’t have to tell you. But that wasn’t really working for you. And when your dead-eyed stare yielded no results… “JARVIS.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“Tap the SHIELD grid. Get me everything we have on- what did you say?- the weapon Zodiac-” 

Steve put a hand up. “Don’t do that-” 

“These files are encrypted ma’am. Level 8 access or higher.” 

A small silence came over the room. You were looking at Steve. Steve was looking at you. And then you made your next move, “Give me clearance.” And by that you meant- just go in there and take what I need. 

“Yes, ma’am. Allow me a moment, please.” 

Steve stood up suddenly, hands tight at his sides. “This isn’t necessary. Look- I’m just asking you to stay out of their business for the time being. I went out on a mission for them and came back with something I didn’t like.” 

You stared up at him, crossing one leg over the other, putting your hands on your knee. “I don’t play games with half of the pieces. You should know me better than that. You wanna tell me what’s going on?” 

“Just listen to me-” 

“I would if you’d say anything.” 

“Ma’am.” JARVIS stopped your bickering. “Mr. Stark now has the files.” 

And at that you really bristled. “I didn’t say send them to Tony, JARVIS-” 

The door to your office opened, and in walked, wouldn’t you know it- “Yeah, well. Mr. Stark doesn’t like being kept in the dark. Also- you have your own programs, why’re you ordering JARVIS around?” Tony, with a tablet in hand, scrolling over whatever it was JARVIS had unearthed. 

“That way if he gets caught I can blame it on you.” Joking, of course, but you smiled oh so sweetly up at him. 

JARVIS spoke above you, “I never get caught.” 

Tony came to a stop in front of your chair and turned the tablet your way, handing it down to you. Although his eye roll was directed skyward. “Oh please.” 

Steve was getting upset. “Alright, I’ve had just about enough of this- I was trying to do you a favor-” 

You tried to tune him out, but when that wasn’t working, you just started reading aloud. As you did, Tony turned towards Steve, arms folded, narrowing his eyes. “The weapon known as Zodiac was recovered by Agent Margaret Carter in New York City, from a small band of movers, destination unknown. Agent Carter disobeyed direct agency orders to carry out the mission alone.” Reading this part purposefully, as it dampened Steve’s fire and quieted him. Perhaps a terrible thing to do but… 

Taking a breath, you continued. “Zodiac is an incredibly powerful and incredibly dangerous weapon, capable of destroying an entire city. Compound list… ingredients…” Skimming through stuff you didn’t understand. “Zodiac listed on record as destroyed effective April 1951- under authorization of Howard Stark and Agent Carter... Moved to bunker facility for further…” 

Feeling like you just couldn’t finish the rest of it. What was the point? It was clear what was going on. When you looked up from the tablet, you caught Steve and Tony just looking at one another. ...as always… haunted by ghosts of a past they could not change. Yet it seemed like every time they encountered them, it was all entangled. 

As per his silent request earlier, to kill the maddening silence in the room, you put the pieces together. “Someone stole it from SHIELD. And they told you to go get it.” 

Steve looked away. “Not just me. Rumlow and Nat. Both of them knew the truth about the whole thing.” Shit. Rumlow you really couldn’t have cared less about. A STRIKE team lackey. But… Natasha getting on Steve’s bad side was bad for everyone. He finally looked your way again after a deep breath. “They’re trying to justify it as a security measure. That by putting it on record as destroyed, no one would come looking for it.” 

Tony scoffed. “Yeah. Why not just actually destroy it?” Bitterness dripping off him. You reached a hand up to sooth over his leg. He stopped holding to himself so tightly, but he was still incredibly annoyed. “This is SHIELD’s MO. You can’t tell me you’re surprised.” 

Why not destroy it? Because maybe they’d have use for something that could level a city. Some day. Yeah. That was the SHIELD you knew.

And at this? Steve shook his head. “Not surprised anymore just…” 

“Disillusioned.” You finished for him. It was always one step forward ten steps back with them. At what point was it going to stop? “So what do you wanna do about it?” You could bring it to Fury. Get yelled at for digging around. And… then what? Probably nothing. But you didn’t want to just leave Steve hanging. 

He shook his head again. “Nothing. I just want you to stay out of their way for a while. ...they wanted you on the mission. It was a good thing you were gone. Both of you.” Redirecting his gaze to Tony. Something softer. Like he’d been thinking about this. A lot. “What would have happened if we’d lost control? You think SHIELD would admit they were at fault?” 

Tony’s head tipped forward, a curve of his brow in what was definitely the most dryly sarcastic look he could muster. “What are we doing here? Playing least-likely-scenario? SHIELD will admit they’re wrong about anything the day you do.” 

“Hey, I’m not above admitting my mistakes.” Putting his hands up. “Just before you walked in I was saying-” 

“It doesn’t matter.” You put a stop to the both of them. Because it really just didn’t. Tony poking at Steve’s supposed righteousness wasn’t going to help. Even if it was somehow in a fond manner. “Look- I work for SHIELD, same as you do. If I stop taking Fury’s calls about that kind of stuff, he might get suspicious.” 

Tony shrugged. “Let him. When he decides to show face, I’ll let him know about the extensive life insurance policy we have out, and in the event of a negligent death on their end-” 

Finally you stood, rubbing a hand between his shoulder blades. “Okay. Alright. We’re not going there.” He was getting just a little worked up. “Also I thought they wouldn’t provide payout considering our lifestyle.” 

He half grinned at you. “Not for both.” 

“Wait- so which one of us has one?” Confused now. He was probably joking either way but- 

Steve cleared his throat. “Look- I actually have somewhere I need to be. Can I just get a little resolution here?” 

Looking his way, Tony threw him another look. “What do you want us to say? We’re surprised SHIELD sent you on a mission they preordained with their secretive bumbling? Or that-” 

“I just want her to stay out of their field work for a while. Until I can get a better sense of who we’re working for. Who we trust.” 

“You and me both.” 

It was impossible to hold back your sigh. “I appreciate the both of you looking out for me. I’ll… try to keep extra busy. And put Fury’s calls through to voicemail. Okay? But… don’t start hammering at the walls here. And… go easy on Nat, alright? I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say she probably put in a scathing report.” 

“I’m not ready to call it quits. With anyone. Just… keeping an eye out. I promised to keep things clean between us. I meant it.” 

Whether or not what she did was right, Natasha worked for SHIELD. At a deeper level than the rest of you did. And had for a long time. And… as you understood it, owed them a lot. She was no fool, either. If this had been a stupidly dangerous mission, caused over foolishness and ineptness by SHIELD (especially by Fury), you were sure she had gone to Nick’s office and told him exactly how she’d felt. 

Tony shrugged, arms still folded. “Debrief right into a shredder, I’m imagining. Nothing in the world changes over word documents. Especially not that world.” 

Looking towards Steve you gave him a little nod. “Thank you. For telling me all this.” 

At that his brows lifted. “I didn’t.” Then he smiled. “But you’re welcome.”

Stepping closer to him, Tony held out his hand. And when Steve put his hand in Tony’s and gave him a firm shake. “Thanks, Captain.” They sized each other up respectfully, in that way the always seemed to, and then Steve turned to leave. When the door was closed, Tony stuck his hands in his pockets, looking at you. “What did he mean by that- keep things clean?” 

You recalled it easily. “When I was watching him at the Retreat- when we snuck out that one night-” 

“When I let you out, you mean, yes I remember.” 

“-a paparazzi snuck up on us. And I… mildly persuaded him to go back to his car and delete his footage. Steve kinda figured out what was going on, and thought I was put there to manipulate him.” 

Tony huffed out a laugh, coming closer. He put his arms around your shoulders, drawing you in. “As if you need the thing to manipulate anybody.” And when you arched a brow at him, hoping he wasn’t insinuating anything terrible, he just grinned. “All you have to do is bat those big eyelashes at somebody and they’ll work for you for free. Believe me. I’m a first hand witness.” 

“Excuse me.” You feigned offended, pressing your hands against his chest. “You better not be talking about what I think you’re talking about.” 

“Okay- well- in this instance- I put you to work for me- but I think it applies-” He leaned in, nose nuzzling against yours. 

It was a shame that he so easily drew giggles from you, but you attempted to stave him off. “I think you’ve been with me too long- is four years too long? You’re starting to view everything from a very romantic lens. And let’s not forget- you were fucking anything that moved for sport back then.” So. He was wrong, in this instance. He didn’t need to rewrite history. You loved him all the same. 

“Not you.” 

“You tried.” 

“Not hard enough.” Silencing your continued giggles as he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours. You indulged him, wrapping your arms around his neck, sinking in easily. You’d only just come back from a vacation all to yourselves, full of moments like this- like this, but no single one the same. Yet there was still always room for more. As he barely parted, his murmur caught you feeling flush. “I told you… it’s always been you.” 

“What’s gotten into you?” Not that you minded by any means. But… all things considered, you both had just been told something very serious. And here he was acting like he’d barely paid any attention, and all that had mattered was- 

“Not four years- do you realize we’ve known each other a decade?” He said these words in between kisses that were growing longer and longer in length. “I had a feeling- while we were gone but… I had to check my math…” 

“Ten years, really? Has it been that long? ...you’re sure?” 

“I’m always sure.” His smile pressed to yours. It was that  charming confidence, mixed with just this overwhelming feeling of adoration, of love, that really swept you away. The next kiss became the last, sealed in a perfect touch of parted lips. His arms pulling you that much closer to him, yours winding tighter around his neck, pressing yourself against him. It was just as your head was growing dizzy, the faint sound of a deep murmur in the back of his throat- 

Interrupted by the sound of your office door opening, and Pepper’s voice- “I tried to keep a giant workload off your desk but I need you to- oh!” The two of you broke apart, and while you, guilt and heat pooling in your cheeks alike, directed your gaze away-

Tony was looking at her rather vexed. “Excuse me- didn’t I teach you a long time ago that a closed door means knock?” 

“God- I’m- I’m sorry- also- you two have a whole floor upstairs to yourselves- there’s no reason to- in here? Really?” 

You forced your voice to work. “I’ll get right on whatever it is- can you just give us a minute?” 

She made a bunch of noise, none of which were actual words, until she found some at least. “Yes- fine- but only a minute. And you better not be doing that when I come back.” Very quickly she shut the door behind her. 

A sigh escaped you. “Back to work.” 

“Or we could take her suggestion and go upstairs.” 

Despite yourself, he poked yet another round of giggles out of you. Maybe it was just how lightheaded you were feeling. “I don’t think that’s what she was suggesting.” 

“I’m taking creative liberty here.” 

Reaching up to cup his cheek in your palm, you drew him down closer again, leaving a carefully sweet kiss on his lips. “Later. And… thanks for coming to my rescue.” It was no coincidence he’d come running down here after seeing you’d been accessing deep SHIELD files- after being toted off by Steve. It wasn’t because he thought you couldn’t handle it.

It was all too easy to see he’d literally rushed downstairs to check on you. Make sure things were okay. Or get you out of the situation if you needed out. “Always.” Murmured against your lips. 

Time enough for one last kiss. 

[magioftheseas]

They Stand in Ruin

For @notcoolhajime

Summary: Hinata and Komaeda are sent to the remains of a long emptied city for a couple of missions. Things don't go well, and Komaeda ends up wondering about the validity of it all. And of himself. And of his relationship with the guy too stubborn to give up on him.

Rating: T

Warnings: Violent imagery and hinted trauma.

Notes: Post-sdr2 fics never get old because I am a simple girl of simple needs. This fic I tried to focus more on atmosphere and underlying tension, although that’s the kind of stuff I favor anyway? But yeah, this was a little rough figuring out, but I think it turned out at least okay. Please enjoy, Junee. ;v;

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

The metal was almost charred to a crisp, the stench of ash and smoke near suffocating.

“Some parts could still be salvageable,” Hinata suggested ever blankly. Komaeda wasn’t sure if he should laugh or scream in response, and he just settled for a polite nod.

“If anyone could salvage anything from this, it’ll be Souda-kun,” he said simply. “So let’s just gather what we can and mission complete. You won’t have to worry about me again for the time being.”

When Hinata Hajime met his gaze, his stare was exasperated but unyielding, that dark adorable brow furrowed.

“Right,” Komaeda said, allowing himself the smallest chuckle. “The remains must still be quite hot. Let’s wait for it to cool off.”

“Right...”

Hinata drew the word out between his teeth, like he wasn’t quite sure about it. Continuing to smile, Komaeda wisely chose not to comment. Instead, he stared at the tendrils of smoke, entwining before dissipating as they reached the pale blue sky. It was getting pretty clouded, and Komaeda could almost taste the upcoming rain on the air. Being rained on after such a disaster of a mission would just be the cherry on top.

And exactly what he deserved for being so arrogant as to think he could handle something so simple as the retrieval of important machinery. Even if something could be salvaged, it was clear this mission was an abject failure. Because of him. And his worthless, wretched luck.

“Aha,” he inhales sharply, covering his mouth to muffle any further giggles. “I’m sorry, Hinata-kun.”

“It’s not your fault,” Hinata replies immediately, as if on instinct. It’s the expected response to give someone in a situation like this. Komaeda’s heard it countless times, and it never rang less hollow, even in Hinata Hajime’s voice.

He wants to laugh until he wheezes, but instead he coughs a few times. He swallows, rubbing his throat with a sigh and notes that Hinata had drawn closer, hand hovering towards Komaeda as if poised to act. Just in case.

Komaeda’s smile widens as that hand drops, Hinata averting his gaze almost shamefully.

“...it’s not your fault,” Hinata repeats so lamely that it’s pitiful. Komaeda almost feels sorry for him. How funny. How stupid.

Thunder rumbles in the distance, and there’s a jagged flash that lights up the sky.

“It’ll definitely storm,” Komaeda says cheerily at the sight. “I guess we should get shelter pretty soon. While I’ll be fine, I worry about you being struck by lightning, Hinata-kun.”

“I guess that’d be one way to wake up Kamukura Izuru,” Hinata mutters, rubbing idly at his scars. Komaeda’s expression didn’t change, instead he just turned on his heel.

“Let’s just hurry.”

“Uh... Right.”

Irritably, Komaeda’s foot dug into the dirt.

--

They gathered up some bits of roasted metal and wiring and had it carried back to headquarters. But because they still had more scouting to do, they weren’t allowed to leave. Instead the storm rumbled, and the two of them took shelter in a broken down office building.

“I wonder if my parents worked in a space like this,” Komaeda remarks, almost idly. The place wasn’t completely trashed, some office corners had remained in the state they were before the disaster; it was just completely abandoned. There were some crude crayon drawings taped to desks, torn and crinkled with age. Komaeda hummed before wrapping his arms tighter around his knees. “What about yours, Hinata-kun?”

“I don’t really know,” Hinata replied. “Actually, I don’t even remember.”

“How boring!” Even though I have no room to talk. “Hey. Do you think you would’ve ended up here as a faceless worker if you never agreed to the project and if the world never fell apart?”

“Probably.” Hinata doesn’t even miss a beat although his expression dulled further. “What about you? If you didn’t have your luck and if the world never fell apart...”

“Probably the same,” Komaeda said, almost wistfully. “But even without the pressure and the people—this place is suffocating.”

It was also gloomy and dreary, and he doubted that would change with the lights flicked on and everything fixed up. There was a rustling chill, perhaps from the storm outside, and Komaeda shivered.

The thunder boomed and for a single childish moment, Komaeda wanted to cover his ears.

“Komaeda?”

He doesn’t respond, instead squeezing his eyes shut. Words don’t run through his mind so much as fuzz and static. Crackling and popping to the point where it felt like his very skull was bubbling. There was a low droning buzz, one that caused his head to throb.

The sky crashes, and Komaeda nearly jumps when his shoulders are suddenly gripped.

“E-Easy, easy!” Hinata yelped, and while Komaeda did initially still, his face also twisted into a vicious scowl. All Hinata offered in return was a grimace. “I was just checking on you.”

“I’m fine,” Komaeda hissed, shoving at him with the robotic hand. Even with the sturdy metal, Hinata’s form was unyielding as ever. Komaeda wanted to laugh but he also wanted to scream.

“You don’t look fine,” was Hinata Hajime’s ever clever retort.

Why? Because I don’t feel like smiling?

That was probably exactly it. Thankfully, smiling can come as easily to him as breathing, even when he doesn’t feel like it. The corner of his lips curl upwards.

“I’m fine,” he said again.

“Liar.”

It’s as if you want to make this difficult. How unfortunate.

“You’re awful,” he said sweetly. “Shouldn’t you read the mood? Or do you just not care because you’re awful?”

“If I didn’t care I wouldn’t ask.” Hinata’s eyes narrowed sharply. “You’re the one being unnecessarily difficult.”

Unnecessarily. What a truly dull word to use.

“You’re being pushy.”

“Maybe so.” At least you admit it? “Still that’s only because I... I worry about you.”

There’s a strange delay in the admission. Komaeda quirks an eyebrow at the even stranger rise of color in Hinata’s cheeks. Hinata averts his gaze but he’s still so shamefully expressive. So terrible at lies and obfuscation. So easy to read.

I always adored that about him, Komaeda thought bitterly.

And now?

“Someone like you shouldn’t worry about someone like me.”

“And yet I do,” Hinata snapped. “Sorry. Neither of us can do anything about that.”

“Not like you would try to,” Komaeda replied, smiling blankly. “You’re much too kind, Hinata-kun.”

“I’m not that kind. I’m not so kind that I’d worry about just anyone.” Chewing his lip, Hinata’s features pinched and twisted in a way that was almost as engrossing as it was unpleasant. “It’s more complicated than that.”

“Oh.” Komaeda chuckled softly. “Is it?”

To that, Hinata just gave a small but firm nod.

What’s on your mind?

He’s wondered that often, especially recently. There were times where he’d imagine Kamukura Izuru, the long black tendrils of hair twisting around Hinata’s neck. The striking bone white of his head scars leaking black and blood. Even now, Komaeda fingers his own scars, long hidden by his hair and there is a dull ache in his skull.

Unlike Hinata Hajime who filled his head with talent and the world, for Komaeda there was nothing but a spreading rot, a desolate place. A ruined land that would only lead to further decay until it all crumbled into dust and ash. Even now, Komaeda is tempted to set himself on fire to at least go out in a blaze even if it’s not one of glory.

No, he’s long given up on becoming a beacon. Someone like him really was best suited to an uneventful passing, something mundane like a heart attack or pneumonia. That he survived this long really was a joke.

Especially in such a state, Komaeda thought, curling his mechanical fingers and listening to the whirls and twitches.

Hinata is looking at him too, hazel and crimson both dark and unreadable. It’s uncomfortable. So much so that Komaeda wants to throw a rock at him. He would’ve if not for Hinata’s head jerking away.

It’s infuriating.

Komaeda stands up. Thunder booms. The wind is whistling. Komaeda turns his sights to outside, where the fog is only briefly alit by a lightning strike.

Without thinking, he strides forward. Before he can even feel the damp rush of air from the cracks in the windows and walls, a powerful grip yanks him back.

“What the hell are you doing?” Hinata hisses, and his arms wind around Komaeda like a snake. Like rope, binding him and keeping him trapped. “You’re not going out there, I don’t care what suicidal wish you have!”

“I wouldn’t die,” Komaeda snapped, glaring at him as if he were stupid. “The opposite, in fact. I just wanted to feel alive.”

“Even if you didn’t die, you would at least get injured,” Hinata huffed. “Be it from debris or even the wind knocking you down.”

Komaeda reddened in anger at the thought of being seen as so weak.

“It will take a while for it to calm down,” Hinata just went on. “Be patient. If you’re that bored, we... we can just talk.”

“What is there to even talk about?” You already know everything—so anything I say would be boring. “The weather, perhaps? It is quite windy. Quite rainy. Quite stormy. Isn’t that fascinating?”

“You don’t need to be that sarcastic.” Hinata frowns at him, but his grip doesn’t lighten. It’s annoying—the dissonance between that wilting dismay and that unforgivingly constricted hold.

Komaeda sighs and presses his very aggravated pout into Hinata Hajime’s shoulder.

“You’re insufferable. Incorrigible. And just—irredeemably ignorant.”

“Sorry.”

It’s a low mutter, so quiet that sincerity was difficult to gauge. But Hinata does lift a hand and cups the back of his skull. As if the rotten thing were precious. It’s frustrating to the point of tears.

“Komaeda, you know I...don’t hate you, right?”

“I wish you did,” Komaeda whispered. “It would be so much easier and simpler if you just hated me like everyone else.”

“The others don’t—hate you either.” Hinata sucked in his breath. “They’re just—not sure how to approach you. In their defense, you don’t make that easy.”

“It’s easier that way,” he insisted. “With my luck being the way it is, and with myself being as lowly as I am.”

“Still, that...” Fingers start to weave through his hair. “Wouldn’t it be better if we all reached an understanding?”

Komaeda was so exhausted by this that he slumped. Hinata kept him upright.

“I would still like to understand you,” Hinata murmurs, tentative. “Especially since I know you’re not a bad person. You’re still the one who reached out to me in the beginning.”

Of course I remember that. The ocean waves. The shimmering sun. The beautiful unknown boy on the beach.

“Just shut up,” Komaeda griped tiredly.

To his credit, he had. He also continued to hold him even as Komaeda’s eyes squeezed shut.

--

They gathered up the remains of the Monokuma unit. The metals were now burnt, rusted, and even more twisted thanks to the storm. To salvage anything from this would take a miracle and Komaeda severely doubted the former Ultimate Mechanic was capable of even that.

But, they packed up the material, and their hands were left dirtied. The other agents left with that, leaving them behind without another word.

Komaeda watches them go, picking at the smudge beneath his nails.

“Ah, Komaeda, you didn’t have to...” Hinata trails off as he takes his right hand. His brow furrows as he feels out blisters. “Mmgh.”

Hinata-kun’s own hands are warm but firm, Komaeda thinks dully. Undeniably strong and yet gentle. It’s unsettling.

“Even someone like me can handle a little bit of heavy work,” he says with a shrug. “Really, you expect me to collapse just from that?”

“Not collapse, no,” Hinata mutters, squeezing his hand. “Your metal arm can sustain two tons, but it’s still attached to your shoulder, which I can’t say the same for.”

“Like stitching gold into rags,” Komaeda chirped. “Of course, there are other uses for it.”

“Yeah.” With a frown, Hinata suddenly pinches his cheek. “So that’s a terrible comparison.”

“A-Ah! Haha! Sorry, sorry! Please don’t pull so hard!”

Hinata lets go, but he’s still unimpressed. Specifically, he let go of his cheek—but not of his hand.

Komaeda’s pitiful smile strains and twists, and he tugs his hand back. Hinata does release it, then, and he blushes quite darkly.

“I...” Biting his tongue, Hinata made a complicated noise. “We should probably get going. We still have more surveying to do.”

“Yes,” Komaeda agreed cheerily. “We do.”

--

The Future Foundation had long evacuated everyone they could find and as a result, what remained was ruined, abandoned buildings, and the occasional malfunctioning if not outright collapsed Monokuma unit. There were other locations the Future Foundation was focused on right now, but Komaeda predicted that it would only take a few years for this city to be rebuilt and repopulated.

As it stood, it was vacant and eerie. Still in rubble, no electricity, and thoroughly ransacked for supplies.

“Some of the buildings are unstable,” Hinata remarked. “So stay close, Komaeda.”

Komaeda half-listened, staring up at the dull gray sky.

“There was this series I read once,” Komaeda found himself saying. “About someone who could leap through space.”

“So teleportation?” Hinata asked wryly. “That’s a pretty convenient superpower.”

Kamukura-kun could move so quickly that it was akin to that, Komaeda recalled as he stepped around the broken-off corner of a building. But that wasn’t the same thing, because—

“What do you think is the line between time and space?” Komaeda wondered. “If you could move to any space instantaneously, then would you theoretically be able to leap forward in time?”

Hinata pauses, mulling it over, and Komaeda wonders if Kamukura Izuru is already supplying the answer. Before Hinata can open his mouth, Komaeda went on.

“The person who could teleport believed that they could, and thus they took that leap,” he said. “It was risky, of course, for you can never be sure what will occur in the space you occupy in a different point of time. And you can never be sure—what exactly will happen in the future. When that person traveled far enough, they found they stood in ruins, surrounded by the corpses of people they found dear.”

“Ah,” Hinata intoned. “One of those stories.”

“I like time travel stories,” Komaeda said quietly. “I enjoy time loops, where someone tries to prevent tragedy, tries to right wrongs so that the world stays in-tact. That determination, that desperation to overcome despair is beautiful.”

Of course...

“They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results,” Hinata said. His voice was low, monotonous, and for a moment, Komaeda had a flash of walking side-by-side with someone impossible like this, with long, swaying black hair under a sky as red as his hollow gaze.

Komaeda punches his shoulder with a poorly curled fist, and he can almost taste blood brimming from where he bit too hard into his lower lip. Hinata wasn’t affected by the former, but because of the latter, he stilled immediately, scowling as he turned.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” he snapped, pinching Komaeda’s cheek again. “How many times do people have to say it?”

Aha. You sound like Matsuda-kun.

“It’s because you’re so frustrating,” Komaeda chirped right back. “It’s so maddening that I want to bash my head in.”

“Then just talk to me!” Hinata’s voice rose exponentially. “You can even yell at me if you want!”

Saying that...while shouting... You really are an aggravating person.

“I don’t really want to talk,” he said. “It’s exhausting. Aha, of course saying that is hypocritical, right? I’m sure you find me plenty exhausting. But it’s not like I asked you to tolerate me.”

“No,” Hinata conceded, letting go of him. “I chose to because I want things to get better between us.”

Between us.

What was between them now was cold dust, easily swept away by a colder breeze. What surrounded them was the remains of a once ordinary city. A place that likely hadn’t been anything remarkable even in its prime. Komaeda only barely remembers its name.

“How mature,” he muttered. “As befitting an Ultimate Hope, I suppose.”

He almost wants to puff out his cheeks. Throw another temper tantrum. He wonders if doing so will cause Hinata to lose patience and strike him.

It’d be easier that way.

If Hinata just hit him.

What kind of face would you make? I—whatever it is, it would surely be better than the one you have right now.

He breathes in dust and decay and rubs his cheek and mouth idly. There’s a slight throb, but it might just be a headache. He’s tired. Very tired.

“Do you want to take a break?” Hinata asks, brow pinching. “Maybe we can set up camp for the day?”

“I feel like barely anything was accomplished,” Komaeda sighed. “Is that really alright?”

“It’s because of the storm,” Hinata responds as if on autopilot. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s take a break. Maybe get some sleep. I doubt anything will change between now and tomorrow.”

Komaeda doubts it as well, but he still hesitates.

“The mission will take even longer,” he said. “Is that alright?”

Hinata nodded.

“Of course it is.”

Of course.

Of...course.

“Alright,” Komaeda repeated, nearly biting his tongue on the word. “Then, I guess I can’t argue too much. Let’s resume work tomorrow, aha. Haha.”

It makes no difference to me. Not at all.

--

They retreat inside an old school campus of all things because it was the easiest place to set up the tent. After all, who knows what could be crawling around? Thinking of it like that, it felt almost adventurous.

Nibbling on rations as he watched Hinata lay out their sleeping bags, Komaeda tried not to grimace at how close the two bags were. There was enough space, but Hinata was probably paranoid. Komaeda can’t exactly blame him for that, even if it must be unpleasant.

That said—Hinata looked warm cast in the light of the lantern, the shadows sharp in contrast. More so when Hinata did smile in his direction, albeit absently.

“You got any bedtime stories?” Hinata’s smile twisted, eyebrow raising. “Or am I just supposed to come up with one myself?”

Komaeda popped the rest of the ration into his mouth before closing the container.

“We’re not children,” he said, chewing before swallowing. “Unless you insist on needing one? What would you like to hear? The Crane’s Wife?”

“Anything happier?”

“Orpheus and Eurydice?”

“I said happier.”

Komaeda set the rations aside and crawled into the sleeping bag.

“There was a story about an unremarkable boy with no talent. Then he met a fairy who granted him all the world’s talent. That boy then saved the world. Happy enough for you?”

“What kind of nonsense is that?” Hinata asked, poking Komaeda’s shoulder as he turned away stubbornly. “Things didn’t even turn out that way.”

“Hence why it’s a story,” Komaeda sighed. The sleeping bag was cold enough that he ended up shivering, but even his meager body heat was sure to provide warmth after a while. “They’re fictional. Made up. They don’t have to make sense.”

“That’s wrong,” Hinata said, the words cutting through with the same force as in a trial, even in what was a low murmur. “It’s reality that doesn’t have to make sense. Fiction meanwhile should follow some level of logic.”

“Is that your Ultimate Analyst side talking?” He doesn’t keep the quiet venom out of his voice. “That’s a limited way of viewing things. It’s annoying. You’re annoying. Tell yourself a story, then. I’m going to sleep even though it’s going to be difficult because you annoyed me so much. I hope you’re happy.”

“Who can be happy in a situation like this?”

Who, indeed? If even the Ultimate Everything can’t answer—I guess it’s a question you just aren’t meant to ask.

How annoying.

Komaeda squeezed his eyes shut. All was quiet when it was dark. Hinata didn’t make a noise and all that could be sensed was the plushness encasing him. It was like nothing else existed save for his own heartbeat.

Although remembering that Hinata-kun is here is a little nerve-wracking.

Still he managed to relax. He had done so under worse circumstances, and he could do so now.

It doesn’t...matter...

He’s exhausted.

--

The world is vibrant and even with the sun shining overhead in the center of a sea of soft blue, there’s a nice feel and temperature. The sand is plush beneath his feet, and he giggles as he skips, bumping shoulders with Hinata Hajime.

Hinata Hajime, who gives him such a warm smile that the very sun above was stricken. Komaeda’s vision blurs, but he beams back without a care.

He stretches out his hand to brush his fingers against Hinata’s, but he’s far too shy to entangle them.

Still, he’s happy. Definitely happy. To be out here with a friend is more than he can ask for.

Yes, a friend—Hinata-kun’s my friend...

The thought makes him so giddy that he wants to cup his rosy cheeks with a laugh. That Hinata chuckles softly nearly makes him shudder with euphoria.

“Hey, Hinata-kun... I...”

Throb.

Suddenly he stumbles and crumbles into the sand. It happens in slow motion, and almost distantly like he’s observing from a screen. It doesn’t hurt, but—but his thighs are streaked with blood. So much so that the soft sand is clumping into dark goop.

Hinata Hajime doesn’t break his stride.

“H-Hinata-kun,” Komaeda hears himself stammer as he reaches out towards him. “H-Hey...wait up...”

Focused on Hinata’s blurring figure, he almost doesn’t notice his hand being pierced through. The splatter of blood spreads until it consumes his hand. Before his eyes, that hand morphs, the fingers warping and twisting, the blood-dyed nails elongating.

Hinata does pause, when he’s little more than a semi-defined shadow. That shadow, too, warps and twists. Tendrils of black that then lurch towards him and wrap tightly around his neck.

“H-Hi...nata...kun?”

His own voice is fading along with everything else. Disintegrating, melting, his body is being torn to shreds from the center. Everything is slick with blood and muck.

Filthy.

Filthy.

His body was decaying, eating itself the way he always knew the cancer and dementia would. His throat is being ripped open and gorged. He’s losing all sense of awareness.

How gross—

“How boring,” is the quiet remark as Komaeda Nagito is turned to ash and muck.

--

He only somewhat wakes, but there is a sound. A melodic sound so sweet and serene that he very nearly lulls back to sleep. He groans softly, and gentle fingers stroke his hair back.

He’s barely awake. What he does register, he does so detachedly. Like this was still all a dream.

“Mmhm...” The sound trails off into a hum. “Komaeda? You were having a nightmare.”

His sense of conscious feels like a complete fog. He’s too blurry-headed to even muster up speech.

“Ah. Still dazed. Is that because of my...?” An irritated mutter, too low to be comprehensible. And then, in a clearer tone. “Sorry about that. You should go back to sleep, though. You need all the rest you can get.”

His eyes begin to droop.

“Can you even hear me...? Ah. Never mind that. You’re probably real tired.”

I am tired, he thinks agreeably.

“...you might not remember this later or even be listening, but...”

So tired...

“You know... You really are important to me, Komaeda.”

That gentle hand moves to cup his cheek, radiating a seductive warmth. Komaeda nuzzles into it without a second thought, sighing contentedly as he does.

“Even though you purposefully make things difficult—you are trying your best. If you had just wanted to sleep the rest of your days away, I don’t think anyone would blame you, but—you get up every morning and you take it all so seriously. I can’t believe I never appreciated that until now. Well, I can, considering the circumstances of before—but it’s still embarrassing to think.”

A thumb runs over his lower lip. Gentle. So gentle. It’s such a pleasant touch. It’s comforting. Alluring.

“Everything’s different. I want us to be close. I...really, really like you. So much. More than I should, probably.”

His vision is blurring, but he can tell that someone is close. Getting closer. Forehead pressed against his. Soft puffs against his lips.

“Komaeda... Nagito... I want...”

Then. A pause. Komaeda’s eyes fall fully shut.

“...god, what the hell am I doing...? I’m sorry.”

His hair is ruffled. Komaeda tumbles back into sleep soon after.

“I’m so sorry, Nagito.”

He falls into a dreamless sleep.

--

Everything is much clearer in the time he wakes. So much so that his heart nearly leaps into his throat when his eyes snap open.

That was—

It felt distant and foggy. Like another dream. Except—it hadn’t been a dream. It just felt like one. So much so that if his mind wandered enough, he’d easily forget all about it.

He’d forget. Easily.

...

Back in the simulation, one of the things Hinata gave him was a used memory journal. It was worn and withered, the smudged writing impossible to read. But he had adored it, every scribble in it. He even carefully wrote in it, wrote about his hopes and dreams, in shaky script that fit right in.

After he read the student files—

...

Ah. Does that part matter?

I’ll forget either way.

Komaeda pushed himself up, looking around the tent. It was illuminated by morning light shining through. The other sleeping bag laid there beside him, flat and unruffled as if it had never been used at all. Their bags still sat in the corner next to the lantern. Somehow despite having the whole space to himself, it was almost—suffocating.

Komaeda wiggled out of his sleeping back and slipped on his shoes before unzipping the entrance and crawling out. With the clouded sky in addition to the early hour, it wasn’t terribly bright just yet, but he flinches at it anyway.

There’s hard concrete under his feet rather than soft sand, but he still stumbles. His eyes find themselves locked on the cracks to help himself focus on something, anything. Cracks running deep, some with grass growing through—and a couple of flowers. Pure white daisies, small and easily trampled, growing in stubborn little clusters.

Flowers, huh? Even...in a place like this...

“Ah... Haha... Ahaha...” He covers his mouth, shoulders quivering. “E-Even in a place like this.”

He’s not going to tear up over something so—so small. But his eyes do burn a little, and he wipes at them furiously. Even when shut tight, the morning sun shines through, and when Komaeda does look, his gaze is immediately captured by the figure standing upright and steadfast in the dusty air.

Komaeda approaches, almost tentatively, self-conscious of his heart pounding in his ears, but still tempted by the other’s back. Those strong, locked shoulders, the defined blades, and how if he ducked against this person, he might be safer from the world than he’s ever been.

He does fantasize about it, embracing Hinata Hajime’s solid warmth, but he ends up stopping several steps shy of even being able to reach out and touch the other.

Because... I...

“Komaeda,” Hinata says, without looking at him, even as Komaeda perked up helplessly. “Did you sleep well?”

“I...” He nods, but chokes out the answer anyway. “Yes.”

“That’s good,” Hinata replies. “But are you sure you don’t want to rest a little more?”

I’m going to forget everything anyway. Hinata-kun must know that—that it would be better for him to move on without me. As if I don’t burden him so much already.

“Hinata-kun...” Trailing off, Komaeda nearly bites his tongue. Swallowing back bitterness and even some resentment, he pushed onwards. “I...have been acting immaturely lately.”

“You’re still young,” Hinata remarked and a strange smile twists at the corner of his lips. “I get it. It’s fine. I forgive you.”

“Someone like you won’t ever be forgiven,” he was told in the past, by himself and by others. But of course the penguin that could fly would tell him otherwise.

It’s ridiculous, but that ridiculousness, that audacity... I do still cherish it.

“Hinata-kun.” His own smile twitches on his face. “I...”

But I can’t just say any of that.

“I’m sorry...for my attitude.” He can say this much, at least. “I really do think things would be easier if you hated me, but—you’re just so stubborn...and eccentric, and I... I don’t want to hurt you. That’s why I...”

I’ve come across quite a dilemma.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever understand you and your feelings, and I’m not exactly used to being understood either,” he went on quietly. Hinata would still hear him, no matter how soft the words. “But maybe it would be better if we...reconciled, at least. If you knew that, at least, I don’t hate you either. In fact I...like you a lot...”

Hinata was quiet, but when he turned to face him, Komaeda was left breathless at the sight of that tired, warm smile.

God, if I could be killed right now...

“I already...” Hinata seems to think better of what he was about to say, so he just shakes his head and widens that smile. “I’m glad to hear it. Komaeda, I...”

“If you say it, I’ll definitely die,” Komaeda cut in seriously. “So, please, don’t. I-It’s taking a lot of courage just for me to be mature and upfront... I’ll definitely fall apart if you push it further, Hinata Hajime.”

Hinata does still, but he nodded.

“Got’cha. I won’t say it, then. Not now, at least. I’ll wait for when you’ll tell me it’s alright.”

When it’ll be alright—I wonder when that will be.

Right now, they stand in ruined shambles, but it won’t be that way forever. The world is getting rebuilt, the clouds dispersing, and lives are somehow, someway, being pieced back together. It might take decades, maybe even a century, and Komaeda’s positive that he won’t live to see it, but—

Maybe he will. He’ll just have to wait and see. For that—and for the time it’ll be alright to hear the words.

“Until then,” he said, still hesitant. “Let’s do our best to work together, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata sticks out his hand. Hinata’s smile is broad, and there’s a glimmer in his gaze. He thinks of Kamukura Izuru still lurking in those depths—but it’s Hinata Hajime who smiles at him, who is looking at him.

He tentatively takes Hinata’s hand, squeezes and shakes it.

“F-Friends?” he just barely chokes out over the sound of his pounding heartbeat.

“Friends,” Hinata agrees so easily that Komaeda could’ve shattered then and there.

I will forget this too, but...until it rots away or falls completely apart, I’m going to cling to this with everything I have. No matter how much it hurts and strains. That’s how—I know I’m still alive.

“Instead of just going to finish up scouting, can we rest for a little while longer?” he finds himself asking, tugging at Hinata’s hand. “Hinata-kun?”

“Uh...” Hinata does stumble a bit, regaining his balance even as his cheeks color. “Y-Yeah. That’s...fine.”

“Did you even sleep?” Komaeda frowned, quirking an eyebrow. “I wonder. If not, you should count yourself lucky that you have a concerned friend to make sure you do.”

Hinata burst out laughing. Komaeda, too, felt his face burn with red hot intensity.

“I’m lucky, yeah!” Hinata snickers, wiping at his eyes. “Real lucky. I could use more rest. You’re right.”

“Of course I am.”

He did huff snootily as he dragged Hinata back to the tent. Hinata laid down, sighing contentedly as he did, relaxing more so as Komaeda rubbed his shoulder.

“I...really am lucky...” Hinata yawns. “I’m lucky that you’re still here.”

“If you say too much, my heart definitely won’t be able to take it,” Komaeda muttered. “But I guess I should be grateful.”

“Mm...” Hinata dozes. “Na...gito...”

It doesn’t take much longer for Hinata to fall asleep.

Komaeda sighs in return, ruffling the other’s hair tenderly.

“Hajime.”

[fizzingwizard]

I’m gonna talk Star Wars.

I been told there’s a bunch of drama (mostly shipping related?) going down RN so let me be clear, I don’t have time for that. This is the opinion of a casual fan (EXTREMELY casual fan), who doesn’t engage with Star Wars outside of the movies, and doesn’t think about it in between releases. I don’t know Star Wars lore and I don’t care. And I definitely don’t care who you ship/who you hate/what BNF was a jerk to you/yadda yadda seen it all before hun.

I know a leeeeeeetle bit more about the outer Star Wars universe now thanks to The Mandalorian, which I love to pieces, and which reminded me why I loved the original trilogy more than any of the sequel/prequel movies ever did. Mandalorian has a way of bringing the fun along with the drama and the action.

Anyway so here’s a random fan’s messy, undeveloped thoughts a month after finally seeing TRoS.

Honestly my beef with it is this: Finn. I loved TFA because of Finn. Because of Rey too - and Poe - but mainly I stan Finn. Because I just think Storm Trooper-turned-Rebel is too fucking awesome.

And the way he was depicted - not some cold hard killer, not some unfeeling robot who needs to relearn empathy - but someone with an inner kindness and sense of justice. That was so unexpected. I never dreamed up a Storm Trooper defecting, let alone one who defected because he’s just too damn human to be programmed into the perfect soldier.

And I feel like... the movies ended Finn’s story there. In the first movie. It’s like they had this great, captivating idea - “what if a Storm Trooper joined the rebels?” - and then had no follow up for it, but did it anyway. He’s got some cool moments in the other movies, of course he does. But, idk. I just thought it was all gonna have more of an impact. It really became Rey’s trilogy, and I suppose it was from the start, but I thought there’d be a bit more sharing.

Finn > Kylo Ren. Not a ship thing, just a “which character do you want to know more about?” thing. For me that was definitely Finn. And I feel like this is a theme in my life? I join a fandom and instantly fall for the character who to me seems to have a bunch of potential and an awesome personality, but the writers don’t take them where I’d hoped, and instead shunt them aside to focus on exploring some brooding edgelord.

I get that redemption stories are powerful and I like an anti-hero as much as anyone else. Actually, I loved Rey being someone with the ability to raise Kylo up. I don’t hate Kylo Ren at all and I always expected him to come back to the light side at least to a certain degree (I was almost wrong, judging by the scrapped script, but in the end they did what I figured they would). After all, he’s Han and Leia’s kid, he must have light in him somewhere - and writers bank on audiences getting excited over the question of how he’d rediscover it, and whether it’d be in time (considering the atrocities he’d been involved in already, “in time” has a very vague meaning).

I don’t hate Kylo and Rey facing The Big Bad together in the end, although I did think it was a little "isn’t this the sort of story I liked to read in middle school?” But yeah, it was too predictable to be disappointing.

What was a huge disappointment was that Finn wasn’t there too. I know he was off being awesome with Poe but I really REALLY don’t think that’s where he needed to be. He’s fucking force sensitive. Let him use the force!!

What I wish had happened was, when Rey does her “I must face him alone” thing and winds up cut off from Finn and Poe and has to deal with Kylo - Finn should’ve gone too. There should have been some other way, even an extremely difficult one, where he goes after her. Means Poe goes back alone, but Poe’s also got a subplot of his own that doesn’t have room for two. He’s got to take the lead in a seemingly unwinnable battle and that’s the sort of thing that is even more heart-wrenching when your friends are absent and in trouble themselves somewhere else. Poe seems to like Rey in TRoS, but he’s also frustrated by her. Poe’s heart is with the war. Where’s Finn’s heart? I think it’s with both Rey and the war, but I think Rey should have gotten precedence. After all, we just finished establishing that Finn is NOT the perfect soldier. He does what he wants. There ought to be huge potential for Finn to grapple with light or dark himself, but I guess... no?

Rey could have had her little tete-a-tete with Kylo all by themselves while Finn’s out struggling to get to her and taking a long time. I just needed him to join them before the end. Be the unpredictable element. Finn doesn’t have a spiritual connection with Kylo Ren. Finn has no reason to trust him. What if Finn showed up right when Kylo’s blown back to his death in that crevice and has the chance either to save him or let him fall? Either way, we could still have Kylo’s spirit coming back to breathe life back into Rey. Preferably while Finn’s holding her. I guess then there’d be less kissing, though. :) I’m okay with that.

I don’t hate Kylo/Rey as a ship. It’s a normal ship tbh. Everyone likes the bad guy. Wolverine fucks Mystique every chance he gets and how about that girl who fell head over heels for Khan in the original Star Trek? For Wolvie I’m not sure if it’s a complex thing or just lust anymore, but he always comes back to the X-men. Khan girl left with Khan, but only after saving the Enterprise from him. Good guy/bad guy ships can got all sorts of unexpected ways, no one really expects she’ll be straightening his tie on his way off to his perfectly normal white collar job while she stays home with their adorable, Force sensitive child and promises him he’ll get lucky if he’s home on time. (I’d love to say Rey/Kylo Ren is doing more than just capitalizing on that dynamic but uh, I think it’s too late for that.)

But that doesn’t (shouldn’t!) mean that story comes at the expense of everyone else’s story. It could be more powerful, not less, with a third player. Or even a fourth. Instead they drew a line between Rey & Kylo/ Finn & Poe and sent them in different directions. That might have been fine with me, as much as I wanted Finn to help Rey, if both storylines had been equally powerful. But they weren’t! One was just a war! It had lots of cameos and lots of typical “we’re losing! wait! there’s an entire fleet of ships beyond those clouds!” moments. At the time I turned to my BF and said “Forth Riders of Rohan!”

Like come on.

I enjoyed the movie. It just left such a pile of could-have-beens behind that it really cuts back on that enjoyment.

IMO, they should have done something different in TLJ. If they’d set things up for this movie more in TLJ, I might not feel so cheated. It’s almost like you can just skip TLJ and just watch the first and third to get the story here. And speaking of TLJ, I haven’t mentioned Rose, and it’s only because 1) yeah she deserved so much better! and 2) I can barely even remember her, because she had the misfortune of being introduced in TLJ, which has now been rendered only semi-relevant, and then was for the most part absent in TRoS. Another missed opportunity. It’s like the writers went “Let’s introduce a character who’s just gone through a war-related trauma and continues in fight in that same war, because that sort of strength resonates with people! But like with Finn we’re not gonna bother creating any follow-up to that so her entire story will pretty much be over as soon as you meet her.”

Big fat MEH to all of this.

But for all the disappointments, I still LOVE Finn/Rey/Poe. I love it the same way I loved Luke/Leia/Han. The fun is there, the camaraderie is there - the stuff that makes you give a damn when bad things happen to them is there. The beginning of TRoS that gave us Finn, Rey, and Poe wandering around together was my favorite bit since Rey flew Han’s ship. The dynamic was almost the same as the original trio. It was almost there, it was so close I could taste it.

Mandalorian, you’ve managed to win back my heart to the fandom. I’m counting on you!

[jinkisbelly]

Dawning 4/4

This was my entry for the Halloween fic fest and I hope you like it~  Can be read on AFF and Ao3. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Pairing: Onkey, past Jinki/oc, and platonic ontae, jongyu and onho :D

Rating: Teen

w/c:15k altogether

Summary:  After years of luring humans to steal their valuables, Jinki meets one Human that makes him question everything.

            Jinki tightened the blanket around his shoulders, stepping soundlessly through the forest toward Minho’s den. The large round wooden door was closed as he approached. Minho could very well be asleep, but Jinki desperately needed to speak to someone. He couldn’t go to Jonghyun. Even if he’d never tell Jinki I told you so, or make him feel bad on purpose, Jinki knew he’d be disappointed in him. Taemin was also an option, but he was more likely to say what he thought would make Jinki happy in his own way of supporting him. That wasn’t what Jinki needed. He needed a deep understanding and honesty Minho was able to give. With a deep breath, Jinki let his knuckles rake against the thick wood.

            As the door was pulled open, Minho’s chocolate brown hair blew from his face. “What can I do- Jinki? What’s wrong?”

            “Can I come in?”

            Minho was stepping out of the way and opening the door more before the question was even finished.

-----

            The ceramic bowl half full with soup was gently set on the ground beside him as he averted his gaze from Minho across the way. “As much as I enjoy your company Jinki, I believe it’s time for you to explain why you’re here.”

            “Right. Yes.” Jinki took a deep breath, eyes closed as he confessed. “I did something I shouldn’t have.”

            “You aren’t the type to do something drastic without thinking it through, Jinki.”

            Fidgeting with his fingers Jinki groaned quietly, admitting. “I kissed Kibum. I let him kiss me.”

            “I know why you’re torn and I understand that turmoil within you, but I have watched you all these years moving through life like in a fog. I know you’ve been happy, but you haven’t learned to trust yourself or your feelings again.” Minho moved to hold both of Jinki’s hands, making him lookup. “You’re afraid to get hurt again and to mistakenly blame yourself as you did with Bonhwa if something happened to the forest because you trusted a human.”

            “I once thought I knew Bonhwa so deeply and I turned out to be wrong. No matter how much I feel like Kibum’s different, what if I’m wrong about him too?”

            “When you first introduced Bonhwa to us, do you remember what I told you?” Jinki softly nodded. With a smile, Minho squeezed his hands. “If it makes you feel better, I don’t feel that way about Kibum. I didn’t get that from him when you introduced us. You may not trust yourself, but I hope you can find comfort in your trust in me.”

            “Really?”

            “Yes.” Minho cooed as he lifted a hand to wipe the few tears that had escaped Jinki’s lashes. “Wanting to kiss Kibum isn’t wrong Jinki, and neither is acting upon that desire. Tread lightly, but don’t let your past trauma and the fear of being hurt keep you from exploring what could be the biggest part of the next section of your life.”

            Jinki sniffled, breath shaky as he attempted to keep his emotions in check. “Jonghyun thinks I should just let him leave.”

            “It’s in Jonghyun’s nature to protect his pack more than Taemin or I. He wants what is safest for you. I don’t fault him for wanting that.” Minho leaned forward to press a kiss to Jinki’s forehead. “You don’t have to forgive Bonhwa for what he did or even change your distrust of humans, but Kibum shouldn’t be blamed for another man’s actions. He deserves a chance to show you that he’s different.”

            “Thank you, Minho.”

            “I’ll always be here for you, Jinki.”

-----

            Rain clouds were beginning to form on the horizon, but the two men sitting in the southern field pay no mind to them. Their pinkies were barely brushing between them, the flowers swaying in the wind picking up speed by the second. The knowledge that Kibum was fully healed was hanging over their heads like an ax, ready to be dropped at any moment. Going back to Jinki’s home meant a discussion they weren’t ready to have, confronting what hasn't been said for weeks.

            A smile pulled at Jinki’s lips as the flowers began to grow taller and rapidly around Kibum. The man let the flowers overtake him, belly-deep laughter leaving his lungs as he turned his head to look at Jinki. God, he was beautiful. The moon against the rich green of his hair, the way his eyes crinkled as he laughed... and oh his laugh; from soft barely-there chuckles to his deep laugh where he snorts every so often. Kibum could listen to every shade of it for the rest of his life and never find it boring. Gesturing to the flowers with a slight lift of his left hand, Kibum grinned. “Are you trying to suffocate me with pretty?”

            “There are many ways I can do that. Flowers, vines-”

            “You kissing me breathless.”

            Jinki’s gaze snapped back to his, joking smile gone, but in the light of the moon the deep color of his cheek was clearly visible as he breathed out, “Kibum.”

            The flowers slowly receded as the first few raindrops fall from the sky. Jinki didn’t move as Kibum rose to his knees in front of him, bringing his face between his large palms. “Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll go.”

            “It’s not that simple.”

            “Then help me understand.”

            “Time and lessons learned tell me to let you go, Kibum. Humans take and take until there's nothing left.” Jinki squeezes his eyes shut, taking a deep breath before looking at the way his hand spreads across Kibum’s chest. Slowly, his gaze lifted, voice almost pleading, “What will you end up taking from me?”

            “I know my kind has hurt you and harmed what you hold dear, but I am not Bonhwa. I’m not him, Jinki. Hurting you is the last thing I would ever want to do. Please believe me.”

            “I have tried so hard to make myself hate you to save me the trouble, but I still fell for you. I want to trust you completely. I want you to stay and not worry somehow it will go up in flames as it did before.” A tear falls from his lashes, splashing against Kibum’s fingers on his cheeks. “I vowed that another human would never call this forest home and suddenly you are making me question everything I have stood for, for the last few thousand years.”

            Kibum smiles falters for just a moment before he’s grinning. “You want me to stay?”

            Jinki huffed, but his lips curved up. “That is what you take out of all I have said?”

            “I love you. How I learned to love you through your stubbornness and quick insults, I will never know.” Letting his hand fall, he tugged Jinki closer by a soft grip on his hips, the other’s laughter light and warm at the action. Their noses brushed lightly as he spoke again. “Give me a chance to prove that you deserve love...and that good things don’t always end in betrayal.”

            It wasn’t until after a deep breath that Jinki opened his eyes again, a bright smile on his face. “Alright, if you say it again.”

            “Which part?”

            “The first.”

            Kibum’s brows crinkled before he realized and a chuckle bubbled from his throat. “I love you.” He pressed a long kiss to Jinki’s lips, pulling away and grinning. In between each kiss placed all over his cheeks and lips Kibum breathed out, “I love you,” making Jinki wiggle slightly, but his fingers curled in the back of Kibum’s shirt, as if to keep him close even as the rain poured on them.

----

            Taemin grinned as he laid his crossed arms on the bank of the lagoon, leaning his head on them as he gazed over at Jinki. “I hear we have another resident.”

            “Oh, don’t pester me.”

            The smile only widened on the Spirit’s face, wet, white hair pushed from his face. When Jinki frowned at him, Taemin’s expression softened. “I know I’m not as vocal about my worries as the other two are, but I am relieved to see you as happy as you’ve been these last six months.”

            “Is it that obvious?”

            “We know you very well, Jinki.” Taemin patted the grass by him and smiled as Jinki scooted down from the rock he was sitting on. “I like Kibum. I just saw him yesterday run into a tree branch and apologize to the tree for it. Maha and Salom é have even started to allow him to feed them fruits.”

            “It’s been so long since I’ve loved someone like this and it’s so difficult for me to trust myself. My record with relationships doesn’t really paint a pretty picture as an ending for me.”

            “The way you love Kibum, while different, is very similar to how you love us. When it comes to Minho, Jonghyun and I, do you ever doubt how you feel or the decisions you come to?” Jinki slowly shook his head and Taemin smiled. “You may think you don’t know how to love and that you can’t trust yourself when it comes to Kibum, but you know how to have deep meaningful friendships and that’s the foundation of any romantic relationship.”

            Jinki squinted at Taemin, crossing his arms over his chest. “Where are you getting all this?”

            “I read.”

            “You read?”

            “Yeah, you’d be surprised how many scrolls, pamphlets, and books we’ve taken.” Jinki laughed quietly as he shook his head, but Taemin whined. “Stop judging me and come swim.”

            “Fine.”

            All of his worries faded away as he focused on winning the splash war Taemin started.

-----

            The evening sun is warm, the breeze cooling, and Jinki laughs as he watches two baby bunnies chasing each other through the flowers. He slowly takes his eyes from them when he hears someone clear their throat from behind him. Standing there is Kibum, hands in his pockets of the pants Taemin had given him, clay beads resting against his chest from Minho and hair braided done by Jonghyun the night before. Even before he speaks, Jinki can tell he isn’t going to like what comes from the man’s lips. “What is it?”

            “Do you trust me?”

            “Kibum, that’s not how you start a conversation.”

            “There is nothing I want more than to stay here with you for as long as you will have me, but, I never thought I’d live past the war and would have no use for material things.” Kibum softly continued, before taking the few steps to cross the distance between them. After sitting in front of Jinki, Kibum softly takes his hands. “You once said that the forest moves when it’s no longer needed and if what Taemin overheard is correct, the war is over and the forest may very well decide to move soon. I cannot imagine forgetting my mother’s face or my father’s smile.”

            “What are you saying, Kibum?”

            “There are photos… family heirlooms that I couldn’t forgive myself if I left them behind...we may be leaving Korea and never return back here.”

            Jinki tightened his grip around his hands. “If the forest moves when you are no longer within the border we may never see each other again. I don’t want to lose you, Kibum. I can’t control when or how fast the forest moves between locations.”

            “Trust me. I promise to return to you.”

            “Alright… Alright.” Jinki rushes forward, tugging Kibum’s face into a rough kiss. After parting, he begs, “Come back to me.”

-----

            Watching Kibum’s form disappear through the barrier makes Jinki’s hands shake and his bottom lip to tremble. Theodore was sitting on his shoulder. Maha and Salomé were perched on a nearby tree branch huddled close together and observing closely. Jinki cupped his hands out in front of him and smiled as Theodore hopped down his arm to sit on his palms, “Do you want to wait right here for him? Yeah me too.”

            Criss Crossing his legs in front of him he held the small squirrel in his palms gently, staring at the entrance of his forest as if Kibum would magically reappear. Time moves differently on either side of the barrier and even after all these years, he hadn’t deciphered it completely. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the entire forest alive around him. Drowning out each and every thought, trying not to focus on the possibility of living without his heart if Kibum never returned; as Kibum had held his heart captive ever since they had met.

-----

            Minho had found Jinki curled up on the forest floor with the only warmth provided by Theodore nuzzled under his chin. He had sent Maha to get Jonghyun and Salomé to get Taemin. Once both birds were flying to their destinations, he shifted into his stag form. Settling behind Jinki was easy and he let out a soft noise as the man woke up just enough to move until his head was laying against the warmth.

            It wasn’t long before the other Spirits arrived. Jonghyun put his head on Jinki’s tummy, pressing his body on as much of the man’s as he could. Taemin went to fetch a blanket from Jinki’s home, having the easiest time accessing the place through one of the dozen open windows. All of them knew Jinki would never move until Kibum returned or the forest moved, so until then they all would make sure he was well taken care of.

----

            As the forest begins to move, Jinki always can feel the pull slowly getting more taunt before it snaps in place. Usually, with each movement he grows excited for what the next place brings, the creatures and plant life he can help heal and befriend, but this time dread descends over him. His heart and limbs were heavy as he stares at the shimmer of the barrier. He cannot sense Kibum outside and as the pull strengthens, he lets out a shaky breath.

            Kibum wasn’t going to make it. Whether by choice or circumstance, the forest would move before he returned. Jinki stood slowly and pressed his hand against the barrier, eyes closing as he tried to focus on Kibum. “No..”

            Stumbling back he felt like he could barely breathe, hand falling limp to his side. Numb, he turned with tears falling down his cheeks. He couldn’t let Minho find him broken on his domain… He had to make it back to his home he couldn’t-

            Jinki whipped around suddenly, steadying himself on a tree as his equilibrium was knocked out of whack. His eyes flicked over the barrier rapidly trying to pinpoint what had popped up on his senses as he followed his steps until his heart lurched. Kibum was sprinting, breaking twigs and kicking up dirt with each of his strides. He’d never make it to the entrance in time, not with the pull of the forest about to move. There- Jinki shoved his hands through the barrier and tugged roughly, bringing Kibum through the barrier a few dozen feet from the door.

            Kibum stumbled, falling on top of Jinki in a tangle of limbs and bags on the forest floor. Jinki barely noticed the spinning of the forest as he clung onto the man, pressing his nose into his neck, nor the sob that broke from his throat. All that mattered was that Kibum had made it back to him. There was a gentle roar in his ears, whether it was from the tackle, the forest moving or his rush of emotion, Jinki wasn’t sure. The only thing that seemed to cut through it was Kibum’s gentle voice. “It’s alright. I’m here.”

-----

Many years later....

            Chirping birds made Kibum stretch his arms out from him, searching for him, squinting open his eyes when he only found the white expanse of their bedsheets. A slow smile pulled at his lips as he turned over. Tossing the covers off his legs and shimming on a pair of brown simple pants, his hands were gripping the rungs of the ladder before the band of the pants was at his hip. The sun had barely begun to peak over the eastern mountains, but Jinki was sitting on the edge of the balcony with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. This early in the morning the air was nippy, causing Kibum to slightly shiver as he pulls himself upright.

            Jinki doesn’t look his way but does lift his right arm with the blanket held in between his thumb and finger. He lays his head on Kibum’s shoulder after the man slips beside him and takes the blanket from him. After kissing Jinki’s forehead, Kibum softly mumbles, “Good morning, Love.”

            Curling their fingers together between them, Jinki hums, voice soft and warm. “Good Morning, Beautiful.”

-----

            The boots that Jinki had stolen from two unexpected hikers the month before were snug on their feet, but it made walking across the rocks leading up the mountains easier. Kibum watched amused as Jonghyun slipped between them, his white fur making a soft whoosh as it brushed against their legs. The Mountain Spirit looked back, eyes bright before he bounded up the rocks. Jinki called out, “Cheater!”

            On the crest of the hill, little balls of white were a stark contrast to the brown and gray of the mountainside. One of the bear cubs tripped as they ran, tumbling until Kibum scooped them up into his arms. “Hello little one.”

            “She says hello.” Theodore softly squeaks from his spot on Kibum’s shoulder making Jinki laugh quietly as he ran his hand over his lover’s other shoulder, heading up towards the other cub and their mother. “And he’d like to remind you who your animal familiar is.”

            “Are you jealous, Theo?”

            Jinki shook his head at the conversation between the man and his squirrel, focusing on the other cub jumping around his legs. They had been worried when the mother had two, but it seemed both cubs were growing and being taken care of equally. He smiled at Jonghyun sitting up on his rock overlooking his domain, crisp wind blowing against him. He could tell the Spirit was smiling, even with the limited facial expression of his animal form. Remembering how he wouldn’t allow Kibum on his mountains at first made Jinki look back at the human. Noticing the gaze, Kibum stopped walking and smiled nervously. “Is something wrong?”

            “No, everything is perfect.”

-----

            Chasing Jinki never ends well for Kibum. Even with the decades of climbing and running, he was naturally slower than Jinki. Somehow he still found himself trying, pulling at tree trunks and jumping over roots in an attempt to make up the ground between them. Jinki was laughing up ahead of him, the tips of his long hair the only thing seen as he swiftly moved around a looming tree. No matter how far the elf got from him, Kibum could follow the roses that sprout from each of his steps until he found him.

            If he hadn’t been used to Minho’s massive presence, the sudden appearance of the buck would have caused Kibum to lose his footing. He flared his nostrils and as he slowed down, Kibum followed. Minho lowered his head, stomping the ground with his hoof as they came to a stop.

            Needless to say, the expression on Jinki’s face as Kibum passed him on Minho’s back was priceless.

-----

            A gentle rain was falling from the sky, splashing quietly against the lagoon as they took cover in the doorway of Taemin’s home. The Water Spirit was currently splashing through puddles forming in the grass outside, laughing loudly enough it could be heard over the pitter-patter of raindrops against the stone above them. Kibum stepped closer, laying his chin on Jinki’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his waist. “Guess what, Love?”

            “What?”

            “Tag,” He whispered before whipping by him into the rain, grinning as he jogged backward to look at Jinki in the dim light of the home. “You’re it.”

            Even as Kibum was tackled, falling backward into the water and mud, he couldn’t find it in him to be mad through his bellowing laughter. Jinki was smiling brightly above him, so beautiful even soaked to the bone and splattered with grass and dirt. Taemin groaning nearby fell on deaf ears as Kibum tugged Jinki down for a kiss.

-----

            The stars were bright above them against the darkness of the night sky. The grass beneath them was soft and cool, tickling against their skin as they laid with their heads pressed together. Jinki shifted slightly to look at Kibum, a small smile on his face as he curled his pinkie around the other man’s between them. “I just thought about how you’d be an old man now if you hadn’t stayed.”

            Kibum snorted. “What conjured that thought?”

            “Sometimes I gaze up at the stars and realize how small we all are. It makes one think about how different paths would have diverged from that one decision you had to make to stay or not.”

            “Is this your way of telling me to leave you for beating you in our race earlier?”

            “No, you oaf.” Jinki rolled onto his side, bringing his hand up to prop his head against it, and smacking Kibum on the tummy with the other. “Besides, you cheated.”

            “Oh, the insults have returned.” Jinki stuck his tongue out as Kibum laughed loudly, turning to mirror the elf’s posture. He moved his hand over the curve of Jinki’s waist, “You will always be my best decision, Love.”

            Instead of speaking, Jinki pushed at Kibum’s shoulder until his back was flat against the grass once more. Slowly he straddled him, holding the man’s hands above his head with a wicked grin, kissing the corner of Kibum’s lips, Jinki whispered, “I love you.”

            “Love you more.”

-----

[bookdragonlibrary]

Third Tuesday YJ appreciation

1-3 ; 4-6 ; 7-9 ; 10-13 ; 14-16 ; 17 ; 18 ; 19 ; 20 ; 21 ; 22 ; 23 ; 24-26

—————————— Early Warning

- Star Girl is back.

- We didn’t see their mission in Chicago :(

- “The Outsiders are bigger than the Big League.” Seriously? So Gar has reach his goal to inspire people.

- We’re 21 December. Will we have a Christmas episode? 

- Santiago de Cuba. Is this the whole city name or it’s just to specify is the Santiago located in Cuba, because you know USA have a lot of countries which names already existed in other countries, so it’s confusing...

- Mother of Goat xD

- 04.31 is indeed too early to go to school...

- “You mean I’m Gabrielle’s corpse brought back to life by the energy of a dead motherbox.” Violet, you need to chill. It’s really sad you see yourself this way :( 

-  What do you mean she’s dying? She has better superhealing than a speedster!

- I like that the first thing she does is healing herself. 

- Months left? Well, all her previous dead must have been painful... But I’m sure Jace had misinterpreted what she saw. Maybe Violet has a high metabolism like a speedster with a fast regeneration of her cells so maybe they would discover this later by her aging slowly. 

- Her mentor? Who could that be? Was they the person she called in the 15th episode?

- Wait to tell them? How is this supposed to be a good idea? One secret is enough of a burden.

- A funeral? Who’s funeral? :’( 

- They are up against who to make Zatanna worry? Maybe she would bring Traci with her *finger crossed*

- What is this big pink cloud? It’s up to no good...

- Klarion? Of course Zatanna would be worried! The Team never succeeded to win against him! It was always Dr Fate.

- So he was the one who chose Project Rutabaga name? It’s difficult to understand which only one side of the conversation, more difficult than with Jaime and Scarab actually.

- “Stop to ruin my fun, Teekl.” He’s indeed the Witch Boy with that pouting xD How old is he to still be considerated as a child?

- I didn’t know human can have a reddish brown skin. Where is she from? 

- It’s me or he’s dumb not remember what he’s supposed to do?

- No need to explain it to us, I’m pretty sure we all understood as we are now in an adult plateforme...

- So the teen could speak? I thought she was mute. Because of trauma maybe?

- Change of eye and hair color plus... gills? She can’t breathe? Can’t she be like Kaldur and has a double breathing system? :( 

- So that’s where the mark in the forehead comes from... So he already sent teen in to Granny before. How could he forget if it’s not the first time he does it?

- So now she’s a red gaz and... does it where the big cloud comes from? 

- That monster looks like the one in FMA. So the Light is trying to create a mix of metateen with different powers combined for one super powers soldier? We already saw of terrified it could be with Amazo in season 1...

- So the minidrones come indeed from Blue right? 

- RIP  minidrone :(

- “We saw so pretty weird days.” Does he speak about the Reach? :( 

- The way Gar said funeral shows he’s so used to it...

- Joan is dead?! So quickly? From what? Aging?

- Virgil is so cool with blue eyes!

- “Outsiders away!” “Dude, that catchphrase, need work.” You mean “Outisiders go!” right? it was an easter egg right?

- Klarion seriously didn’t recognise them? Or never be against them? 

- “Flesh Monster” I know you are sadistic demon, but it was really disrespectful :( 

- Gar is so clever to attack Teekl! Mouse to elephant, the two opposites! 

- Klarion, we really don’t need your explanations, everyone had seen season 1... (why are you watching season 3?)

- No don’t use a bazooka on those kids! :( Yeah Geo-force! o/

- “No, not in the house.” New Team catchphrase?

- Did he just killed Beast Boy? Desintegrated him? It’s not possible! :’( Not another funeral! 

- Yes he’s alive! Stop with the fake deaths! 

- No Cassie! :( Did anyone how the monster become huge with Wonder Girl addition? She’s really strong!

- Virgil horrified to see his BF like that :( 

- Yeah! They are free! Except for the girl who still can’t breathe. 

- We need to bring Zatanna to Granny’s place so she could free the other teens. 

- Klarion is still busy with a hornet? Seriously?

- They are in Tower of Fate? So the balance between order and chaos are unbalanced in the place of power of one of them?

- “Still in the Tower? *meow* Dang it!” It shouldn’t be that funny! xD

- Virgil, you’re hanging out with Ed and Jaime, your Spanish should be better than this... 

- Yep, the girl still can’t breathe! :( Gar save her! :D She said “Thank you!” :3

- “Where is Violet?” Probably not well after learning she’s dying... 

- Tara’s struggle with English vocabulary (especially oral expressions) feels so real!

- We’re going to see Harper? :D 

- Is that guns and alchohol? Seriously? Is that beer or stronger alchohol? --’ Violet doesn’t seem at ease....

-  It’s cool Harper ask about the alchohol being allowed for Muslims. She’s the first one in the serie to ask VIolet about Islam. You can’t learn about it if you don’t ask to people :) But maybe Violet isn’t the best to ask as she probably doesn’t know much. Wait, does she know about alchohol by the way? 

- “I’m not a Muslim.” Is Violet rejecting everything about herself because she’s dying? Or is alchohol a way to cope with the big new? Or is she rejecting everything about Gabrielle’s identity because of the murder or Brion’s parents?

-  She doesn’t want to talk to Brion and doesn’t like the taste :/ 

- What? 

- “I have a boyfriend.” She clearly doesn’t need this to her emotions... And she sounds surprised? Is this a reminder or a news for Harper? It’s like 2 months she’s dating Brion so she should have told Harper right? 

- “So do I.” The bi cheating trope, really? I HC a lot of characters as bi or pan and it’s not the first rep I wished... And it could have been handled better. Like Harper not kissing her a second time after she said no (I have a boyfriend so I’m not available for kissing someone else, if it wasn’t clear for everyone...). Harper not having a boyfriend but a crush on Violet for a long time, for example? Because the kiss seem to mean nothing to Harper, just a funny thing to do... You know, because bi people can’t stay in a relationship and get bored... --’

- How Violet could be so good at firing? Thanks to her training with Artemis? Motherbox senses? 

- Wait, they are in Mount Justice beach, isn’t it private? How a cop could be there in the middle of nowhere or almost? Why didn’t she show up when Dick were firing with an ever bigger gun? It doesn’t make any sense! Or it’s just plot convenient...

- Violet’s hesitation really show how much she became self destructive because “I’m dying so why not? I have nothing to loose” kind of logic...

- Why they made the General so heartless? :( The cliche of the male soldier who is heartless and the female soldier who cannot do her mission properly because of love/mother instinct...

- I need to check YJ comics because I’m sure I can find some of them in it. *check* Ok I just found Serpenteen...

- Colonel Ramon Bracuda. So he’s indeed a Colonel xD

- Tara and Artemis! 

- The slap at the end was unnecessary, Slade. She was already down... è.é

- Artemis is so good as a mentor! She understood what Tara had been through!

- Tara is surprised and afraid Artemis discovered she was trained. Maybe Artemis will be the one who understands she’s a mole and try to reason her. (Like she tried with her sister...)

- I love how Artemis shows her she can relate to her trauma and reassure her she won’t do the same.

- Tara’s smile again!

- Police station. Right. 

- So Harper’s father is an alcoholic? That would explain why Harper want to forget about her life too... And where she found the bottle. Did she try to take the bottles away and wanted to try it instead?  

- A whole day waiting? That parental abusive!

- I’m not sure Violet truly understood what happened to be honest... It’s a lot in a day! She’s sure having a bad one :( 

- Guess it was an animated error last episode: Wendy still has her collar :( 

- Of course Kaldur will find a solution for the girl :) 

- Virgil, awkward... When he said “excuse” and then close his eyes because he realises it wasn’t the best word choice and Bart reassuring he understood he meant no harm :3 I love the Team dynamic :)

- With Ed, I’m never sure he’s looking at Bart or Wendy...

- “I want in.” In the hug? Of course he’s talking about the Outsiders xD Wait, what?! Doesn’t it seem out of character?

- Even Virgil  didn’t seem to know. 

- So Ed went to the funerals to support/confort Bart?

- So he talked to Bart and Jaime first? Ouch for Virgil... 

- So half of the Runaways in the Outsiders. When do we get to see Tye and Asami? They should have been there in episode 16! Are they ok? Are they kidnapped again? :( 

- “The kids here just don’t know you.” Yet! Come on, Ed, you could have invited all the Runaways, the first abducted metateens so the kids could relate to someone who go through the trauma. Virgil should be known in the Center! He is one of their own already! And that should have been Virgil’s character motivation to be part of the Outsiders and not the skin color... Black characters are more than just black they’re humans, you know? Where are the writers who wrote the other POC characters in the previous seasons? Anyway, the reason to do this for the kid would have been unnecessary if it was written properly with this character arc for Virgil because Ed was fine as a peer councelor to show to the kids there are other ways to use your powers than fighting bas guys, the living example for Paula’s point. 

- So great everyone supports Ed’s decision. 

- Yeah Virgil, his dad would totally freak out...

- Wendy is so small compared to the others! She seems to be 12. And Ed seems to have a big brother reaction who wants to be praised by the little sister ^^

- The comments said “The Outsiders are the best” in Spanish, no idea for the second one and “The Outsiders are unbeatable” in French :)

- “the Outsiders are bigger than the JL.” *Kaldur raises an eyebrow* priceless xD

- Klarion is still trapped in the Tower and it’s still so funny xD 

[truthsgone]

iupurrter:

❛ small talk – really? ❜ phi cuts her eyes at him and – okay , fine – she’s judging him. christ , can’t a girl brood in peace? she sought the rooftop , knowing she’d be alone there , the no one would just coincidentally stumble upon her there. they’d have steps to climb. so many stairs that the old man’s knees would probably give. ( she jests , stairs aren’t much of an obstacle , once you’ve been to hell and back – ) not to say she didn’t see this coming , though. she’s pretty tired , probably gave one too many non-verbal responses today. unusually quiet , dismissive ; even dodging when sigma spoke slowly , gave her a very obvious , very deliberate opening to go on one of her tangents. ( akane , bursting at the seams , was more than willing to step in with the answers she didn’t provide. ) yeah – and she caught sigma and diana’s shared looks whenever she wasn’t staring at her feet. this is … new. having people who actually care enough to check on her. ❛ who put you up to this? ❜

somehow , aoi never struck her as the type to initiate small talk – but you learn something new every day.

❛ –whatever , it doesn’t matter. and… look , i really do appreciate what you’re trying to do here. but it’s not going to work. ❜ she stares ahead , resolved to hide in her thoughts , burying her fingers affectionately in the fur on gab’s head. ( yes , gab’s here , too. he’s a good listener , doesn’t ask insufferable questions. ) seeing aoi specifically dredges back the matter she’s been dwelling on. years ago , he had helped his own sister create a history where she could survive. on paper , her situation is almost similar – but loveless , devastating , ( at least for her ) to cope with. delta said his motives were complex ( god , she hates him , she hates– ) , that he took action to ensure their survival. but that’s a damn lie , isn’t it? he never gave a shit about her – it was all about ensuring his own survival. the way he had spoken , so noble , like he expects her to thank him for it pisses her off even more.

he locked her in an incinerator , put a gun to sigma’s head and forced diana to put her finger on the trigger. needed her to burn so that he could live. phi doesn’t remember much about burning to death. not much aside from the ache in her knuckles from pounding on the door , sweat crawling down her back , the heat. waiting for the end.

she recalls the alternative in vivid detail , in vicious reds , and the cold of a bloodstained floor beneath her knees. i’m not important , not important , notimportant. even after all the death she had been exposed to within the span of just a few days , she’s not numb , will never be numb ; and that moment stays with her , will probably stay with her for as long as she lives. she remembers the lonely ward she explored in her memory-deprived state afterwards. the way she just collapsed in grief , all the hope she had left whittled down to nothing , hearing the intercom announce that everyone else had died. sigma , diana – everyone but her. and akane had escaped. delta left her a message , too ; they lost , because she had lived. phi survived for as long as she could after that , maybe in part to spite him , searching for answers , for information she probably wouldn’t even be able to use in another timeline. if not for the fact that gab was counting on her , she might have just given up.

she wouldn’t haven chosen to put them – or anyone – through that trauma to ensure her own existence. not in a million years. but that’s just her. sigma and diana became her family before she even knew they were related by blood. turns out , blood doesn’t really mean anything at all… not the way she used to think it did , anyway.

❛ you and your sister … you’re close , right? ❜

aoi isn't known as the most delicate of people –– no, more like brash, or stubborn, or kind of an asshole, if anything. ( he doesn’t care to dispute it, really; he is kind of an asshole. )  still, he’d noticed how phi was quiet this morning, which, for her, is entirely out of character. there had to be dozens of times he was expecting her to cut in, even to simply raise her brow at something sigma said. sure, they all had a lot on their minds –– they’d only just returned from dcom with the threat of a crazed fanatic out to destroy the world hanging over their heads, along with barely recovering from everything else that happened. but… this is different. delta is her brother, her twin, and he put her through hell. yeah, maybe it was worth it, to make sure she exists, to stop a paradox. but there’s no justification for that cruelty. 

or maybe he’s just a hypocrite.

what he did a year ago, was it truly so different? causing pain and suffering and death in every timeline, hurting people to fulfill an ultimately selfish wish... it’s too late for regrets, at any rate, and he’s not one to try and make excuses. akane is safe, and that’s all that matters to him, now. 

well, that, and trying his hand at distracting others from their woes, apparently. not his first choice, but sigma and diana are still caught up talking to his sister about... something, and he can’t begin to guess where junpei’s gotten off to. so, here he is, crash keys’ currently assigned therapist.

❛ hey, i’m not trying to do anything. these are important questions.  ❜    there’s an easy grin ( more of a smirk, really ) and a glint in his eyes, but they fade fast, his gaze drawn up to the expanse of clouds above. he leans against the roof’s railing, nonchalant, whatever tension he’s feeling buried by a hundred locked doors to which he’s conveniently lost the keys. 

a silence settles upon them. there’s little he can say to ease the tempest that’s surely brewing in phi’s mind. aoi’s not the right person for this, clearly; they’re far too similar than he likes to admit, with their ever-sharpened wit to dig into those who try to get too close, to barricade their weaknesses from prying eyes. the only person he has any amount of practice comforting is his sister, and even then he finds it increasingly difficult, as her problems range from i spilled my tea on some documents and i need to prepare another nonary game as a last resort if the world ends. but that’s family for you!

he opens his mouth to speak, though phi beats him to it, bringing the brief silence to a halt. aoi looks to her –– a pause, before,     ❛ ...yeah, we are.  ❜    he only helped in terrorizing several innocent ( and some very not innocent ) people, and probably ruined a friendship he’d made in the previous terrifying death game, in order to save her. no big deal.     ❛ might have something to do with the kidnapping and experiments when we were middle schoolers. nothin’ like shared trauma to really bring people together, huh?  ❜  

his remarks, though sardonic, are free of the usual edge to them, and his lips are quirked into a light smile. yeah, maybe not the most pleasant of memories, but it’s not something he ruminates on often, anymore. he frankly doesn’t have the time for brooding.     ❛ but, hey, i didn’t come up here to go on about my life story. i’m sure you’ve heard it all by now, anyways...  ❜    he crosses his arms, letting out a short breath.     ❛ listen. family sucks most of the time. i was lucky. ...besides, you’re better off worrying about the people who, y’know, actually care about you.  ❜