#but yeah it doesn’t really bother me
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OH **** IM SO SORRY NO ITS NOT A DEATH THREAT
Why would anyone want to send a death threat to such a creative and awesome and talented person
YOU’RE FINE ANON I FIGURED IT OUT REALLY QUICK NO WORRIES
and I don’t know. People just send threats on here willy-nilly sometimes. I think it’s just the type of people tumblr tends to attract
#answers from the floor#anon#I’ve gotten a few death threats now and then#they’re always real dumb though I ignore em#‘kill urself’ uh huh. pray tell anon why I should listen to some anonymous rando on the internet?#but yeah it doesn’t really bother me#people just don’t think about the consequences of things they say
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everytime i’m faced with wild overt misogyny that’s just platformed like it’s nothing i remind myself that people don’t actually have to feel this way about women. men are fully capable of treating women like human beings and viewing them as such. “but socialization but male fantasies but patriatchy speaks through us even when we don’t recognize it” sure but actually regardless there exist men who are fundamentally not raging misogynists and they generally seem happier and better adjusted. misogyny to me isn’t disappointing because “oh i can’t believe Men, as an essentialized category of person, are like this” it’s disappointing because people make the choice to be like this. “it’s my biological imperative as a man to dominate you” okay well it’s my biological imperative as a freaky bitch to dominate you so what now. what biological imperative is making you comment “onlyfans detected opinion rejected” on every picture of any attractive woman. i think i will always be understood by most people as a woman and i’m learning to accept that and trying to like it but misogyny makes me feel very trapped of course. but misogyny is a choice. which means some people make the choice to be misogynistic which is profoundly frustrating. but many other people choose not to be actively misogynistic and i believe anyone could choose not to be actively misogynistic if they wanted. so it’s a whole thing
#lotte.txt#womanhood is a fun thing to participate in with women who do not hate women. otherwise it’s very stifling and starts to not be worth it 4 me#for other girls — cis and trans btw — i think relishing in womanhood still feels worth it even when it’s very difficult and i admire that#but apart from my fashion sense and bloodlust i feel very detached from womanhood as like this primal animate Essence#but i don’t really want to be a man either. i like being a Weird Girl i like being a Hot Weird Girl#i’m more of a Hot Weird Girl than a Hot Weird Boy and i’ve discovered that through trial and error#and calling myself nonbinary/fluid accurately describes my experience in a lot of ways. but i also sometimes feel like the label doesn’t..#serve me? if that makes sense#like i got really into kibbe in 2020 and it was like oh shit i’m a soft dramatic. how cool that there’s something that describes my body#but after a while i got exhausted with kibbe because yeah. by the logic of the system of course i’m a soft dramatic#and i operate with that knowledge in the back of my mind. but also so what. i am aware of the shape of my body now#and now i feel the label has very little left to offer me#like if you’re asking? sure i’m a kibbe soft dramatic. but i don’t hold kibbe’s system as law or view it as crucially important#that is very much how i feel rn about calling myself nonbinary#like if you want me to think about it? yeah i don’t strictly conform to the gender binary#but i don’t believe gender itself is useful for my growth - i don’t hold the institution of the gender binary sacred - why bother#why draw attention to where i exist within the system when i’m tired of defining myself in terms of the system at all. yk#aUghj. anyway
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the constant emphasis on the can of alcohol though… it’s like it’s telling us that yuko’s too deep in her vices/self-indulgence that she’s completely oblivious to how much her younger son loves and cares for her…
#in other words… maybe shibasaki yuko was *the* yoidore shirazu after all—#though come to think of it… the lxl movie only ever showed us the worst interactions between aizo and yuko. so.#maybe she’s a better mother when she’s sober off-screen or something? idk. it doesn’t absolve her of all her misdeeds but. still.#lowkey feel bad for her though. bad divorce coping mechanisms really do change you for the worse… maybe.#especially when you’re not the main one at fault for the divorce… but still. taking it out on your kids is going way too far.#the cans kind of gave me flashbacks to my own yuko-esque parent though… sigh. time to never listen to hahaoyatte ever again#i have many thoughts on it but. yeah. no. i get the feeling that i’ll venture too far into projecting territory if i continue lol#but ngl i absolutely love how neither of the brothers bother to try to redeem shibasaki dad lmfaoooo i hope he’s rotting offscreen or sth#anyways. that’s all from me. next time you see me i’ll be with my kawaikute gomen manga bc it finally came in ayayaayayayayayayayyayayayyyyy
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A long while ago one of my high hopes for future manga chapters was Poland and Romania having a friendship or at least interacting because for some reason I had it in my head that they, somehow, somewhere, had a canon friendship.
I remembered this and was so confused because for the life of me I could not remember where I heard that and was convinced I was just crazy
Then I remembered this scene where in the dub, Poland says,
“Im going to paint my walls pink, it’ll make Romania so jealous”
And since I’d watched the dub first I ingrained it into my brain that they were friends, When here in the sub he says something completely different and doesn’t even bring Romania up
So it wasn’t even Hima’s intention in the first place. I’m not surprised but I still think Romania and Poland should be friends or at least have some kind of interaction. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk
#hetalia#yeah all of this was to say I think they should talk 👉👈#this is kinda me thinking out loud but also the difference between the sub and sun is ridiculous#like it’s almost a completely different anime#interesting to me that’s all XD#it doesn’t really bother me honestly but still#hws Poland#hws romania
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reading time’s crucible has really changed my perspective on headcanons of time lord cultural asexuality though. i was pretty neutral-positive about it when all i knew was Looms. but now that i prefer the cc:tc version of canon i really don’t like it actually because 1. i don’t think people need to be sterile to be asexual and 2. i find it really distasteful to treat the concept of unwanted mass sterility as a win for ace representation instead of a horrible tragedy
i mean it’s complicated because i think no matter what caused it, a society that only reproduces asexually could definitely evolve toward a culture of asexuality and that’s probably what happened. but even if it’s plausible and true, idk it just feels wrong to celebrate them all being asexual when it’s based on scenes like this
now if your headcanon for why time lords are asexual and looms exist doesn’t involve them all being sterile that’s wonderful like maybe they invented looms because they evolved toward asexuality first, that’s splendid. but personally as an enjoyer of the cc:tc version of events, at most i’m neutral toward it like “yes their society probably became generally more asexual as a result of having to use looms to reproduce” but i don’t think it’s a positive thing for them OR good ace representation so i tend to just leave it be and not elaborate on it. i think they would’ve preferred not to lose all their children in an instant. and even if that event doesn’t matter to them thousands of years later and asexuality is all they’ve ever known and they’re fine with it, i still don’t think conflating asexuality with sterility is the move either. so based on my preferred canon, i tend to either quietly disagree with “all time lords are ace” headcanons or treat it as a solemn fact of their reality and not something that’s.. good
#been thinking about this for a while bc it was bothering me but i couldn’t put it into words#i know not everyone agrees with this version of canon so do whatever you want forever#but yeah i think this version of canon is really good interesting world building! so i like it!#but it doesn’t agree with ‘looms are ace representation yay!!’ type sentiments#p#dw
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#can i be petty for a second#it really bothers me when someone compares 911 to spn#like the memes are fine and all i’ve laughed at them too but#seriously comparing the two doesn’t sit well with me#because i was there gandalf i watched spn from 2011 to 2015#i wasn’t actively part of the fandom but i was obsessed#i saw it all i saw the way the creators treated the fans#i didn’t even ship destiel but i fucking saw misha collins be the biggest fucking troll there has ever been#he made shipping jokes he said something that made the fans go crazy that wasn’t even true#it happened on the show too#they kept joking about it like the show is full of haha they think you are gay jokes#i saw the creators basically punish the fandom just because most of us happened to be women#and they seriously thought they were making a manly show for manly men#so yeah just#don’t ever actually compare supernatural to 911 in front of me#like#jensen ackles fucking wishes he was anything like oliver stark#yeah i said what i said#okay rant over sorry i just had to be a hater for a second there#and actually#i don’t even mean this in a way that supernatural sucks but it has barely anything in common with 911
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#ive been getting more open with my gf about things ive been through#like tellin her stories about stuff that has happened#and ive noticed she’s changed the way she approaches things and like#i know i have some behaviors that annoy her and are unhealthy that stem from what has happened#and ive been working on them but it’s still hard#and idk last time she stayed over i did a thing and was immediately like oof bc i knew it was a pet peeve#and just not good on my end either#and it did in fact really bother her and i apologized but then a few min later she brought it up again and asked if it was tied to show ive#been treated in the past and i was like yeah :/ and idk#im workin on my shit#she’s changed the way she approaches things with me in a way that doesn’t feel infantilizing#it just feels very nice#the pet peeve is me not being direct and talking circles around something#ive also got a bad habit of finding it hard to say no when im first asked something and she’s started making sure to give me lots of chances#to say no or say i changed my mind#and i really appreciate that too
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Who hurt you
if looking for stories to enjoy it is important to have standards other than “Does a Main Character Remain perpetually faceless or wear a mask” it turns out
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anyway my issue with a lot of other helpols (which just makes me avoid the larger community and do my own thing in my corner) is that a lot of them are recon (which is fine!!!) but i am inherently informal and weird as shit in my practice. i call hades and hestia my spiritual dad/mom, hermes gets donuts as offerings when i’m trying to get to class on time and avoid traffic, i once asked artemis to keep deer from jumping out in front of my car on a road trip home with an offering of granola/sports bars. when people get too formal with the gods and pull out the titles, i usually bail bc it makes me uncomfortable. my relationship with my deities is extremely deep and connected, and it’s not that people who have more formal relationships with them can’t also have those, but it’s that if i called hades “lord hades” with any seriousness, he’d hit me with a rock, basically.
i don’t judge other people for their practices or more formal relationships bc honestly, it’s between you and your gods, but like… my go-to offering is the pomegranate brookside dark chocolates, and yes. sometimes i eat them out of my offering dishes the next day.
#i feel like recons are a lot more uhhh#noticeable on this platform? or maybe there really are just more of them#but i feel like us gremlin freaks aren’t very common on here#or maybe we just don’t get many posts bc people don’t relate as much or we don’t do the whole lists of offerings/altar ideas/prayers/etc#my list of offerings for hades won’t work for most people bc he’s very specific in how he reaches out to me#i have a severe aversion to mint. a lot of people put mint in their hades offerings and i know why#but i genuinely hate mint anywhere near me so i can’t use those#so i just don’t bother with a lot of offering lists and making them myself feels like letting people into my underwear drawer? like. that’s#between me and Him‚ basically. although that’s not to imply godspousing or anything i’m just using it as an easy example people will#understand. but yeah idk#i avoid a lot of the helpol community because i don’t feel like i fit in well#i am not recon and never will be bc it doesn’t vibe with my personality or lifestyle#i show my devotation in other ways‚ but those aren’t as easy to post online or share#and i don’t really want to share them either‚ soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#pagan stuff#bones.txt#zeus gets titles when i work with him tho. i know he’s usually in good humor and the one time i made a bid to him for rain it went well#(after 4-6 weeks of processing time) but i still try to be extra polite to him#hades doesn’t care. zeus might actually strike me down with lightning y’know?#or at least threaten it idk
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I still have NOT started my Kikaider rewatch because I swear I have adhd and can’t focus right now to do anything besides build dragon ig but I keep rotating back to like- how similar mitsuko and michirus families are and I’d love to do a comparison on them but I don’t know how I’d do it given not just “well mitsuko and her fam got to be more fleshed out in especially the anime cause they didn’t have to juggle three main characters” but also like they’re two families who aren’t necessarily a family trope themselves but rather are compromised of multiple tropes from that era:
Michiru/Mitsuko: The supporting girl who is friends with the main character, potentially their love interest
Saotome/Komyoji: The old man scientist who works for the good guys and sometimes may or may not either be the father of the MC or the supporting girl
Genki/Masaru: The little boy support character who tends be the little brother of the main character, but sometimes can be the little brother of the support girl
And then they both get slapped with a dead older brother and a mother who is MIA both of which don’t always happen in tandem with these tropes but I think it’s more of a coincidence both Michiru and Mitsukos families are so similar so they just line up these tropes that were super common back then. (Though since Kikaider came first Ishikawa could’ve POSSIBLY took inspiration especially because Nagai knew Ishinomori but I have no clue if they ever met)
#meg text#getter robo#android kikaider#I’m in my robot ramble mode again instead of actually reconsuming the media#because unless it’s a game I find a rewatch by myself as hard as starting something for the first time#but I also swear I try not to tie every media to getter but when you go down the specific pipelines you notice the patterns#I do wanna do something talking about either girls in mecha or like- the specific topic of the support child#cause I still feel even if Michiru hasn’t been utilized to the fullest Genki will always have it the worst#Like new Michiru personality different then usual but at least makes sense- but genki really got fused with another character#(yes I always fucking mention genki/kei but leave me alone i just rewatched arma)#on a serious note tho genki/kei is that thing that’s a fine plot twist but doesn’t benefit either characters#Since they forget about Kei anyways but she’s at least more fleshed out where as genki is just- yeah#the kid deserves better but it’s hard to work him into the plot with so many characters#probably why new didn’t bother to include him at all honestly even if too me it explains why Michiru more fed up with everyone#having a little bro really keeps her sanity together is what I take away
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I was off for the night but poking my nose back in one more time for a small vent: wild how I can post art after art to this one server and get no response, but then sb posts their AI generated shit and immediately does.
I’m not entitled to praise or engagement, I know that, but that’s just a slap in the face to actual artists.
#out of shirt#a whole lot of the stuff in te art channel there is AI#and people get praised for it#and my stuff doesn’t and yeah it doesn’t look as good but I actually made it and I’m not feeding those parasitic thieving programs#negativity#it’s less getting ignored that bothers me since like I said I know I’m not great nor entitled to engagement#but it’s the getting ignored IN FAVOR OF THIS#LIJE REALLY NOW?
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in my defense, i was like 90% sure u already knew what banana fish was and i thought u would call me out on my bs right away. i did have a moment of panic when it turned out that u didn’t so 🥺
Hahaha it’s totally fine. I’ve actually never heard of it before today but I did start watching it because of this because I was curious. I like it so far
#I don’t personally mind dark or serious content matter#it’s never really affected me. I dunno why. i refuse to fuck with the supernatural because Irish but anything real world doesn’t really#bother me all that much. I don’t have many triggers#granted I work in criminal law and my day to day involves a lot of like. face stabbings.#banana fish isn’t triggering for me#but yeah I’d never actually heard of it before today#it’s definitely interesting and I like it so far so solid rec#but it is so not slice of life comfy anime lol#but it deals in a lot of serious subject matter so people who will be triggered by it should definitely not try it it will not be comfy#no harm no foul with me I just want to make sure no one following me takes the rec and gets accidentally triggered#not gonna lie my friend has been telling me to watch an anime for ages that’s called ‘something something -fish’ that I know for a fact is#slice of life anime about an awkward girl who likes jellyfish and a boy son of a politician who crossdresses and I thought it was that#i googled that is princess jellyfish it is very much not banana fish#it’s supposedly very cute and comforting I’ve been meaning to watch it forever#I knew there was a fish somewhere in the title I knew that much
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I came up the narnia idea on 5 hrs of sleep and a ton of stress and I’ve decided that’s probably the only way I’ll be able to build off of it cuz um*looks down at design ideas for Sun* -yeah I don’t think this is gonna work
#sorry to bother#don't mind me#narnia au#realizing complications that i probably could fixed if i was sleep deprived#like sun’s design is killing me#He’s mr tumnus but how tf do incorporate a fawn into his design#Also btw freddy as aslan yeah#We’re taking out the whole christianity part of the series tho cuz uh#Freddy as god doesn’t really sit right with me…
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do you even know we’ve got a new cassie book this month. next week even. do you even care.
#the thing is i have a very busy reading schedule this month so. idk when i’ll actually get to it#i need to finish alex and i need to read bunny and i NEED this to be the year i finally fucking make some progress in the goldfinch#i have been reading the goldfinch for four years. i never even saw the movie because i wanted to read the book first#don’t tell me not to bother i didn’t commit to this just to be told to give up by someone who doesn’t understand the value of bad media….#literally don’t you dare try to tell me oh the movie is bad don’t even watch it!! i don’t care. do you really think a movie being bad could#make me want to not watch it. do you really think your opinion on what’s bad and what’s good means anything to me.#anyway. yeah i’ve been reading it for 4 years because my brain can only comprehend reading it in the fall/winter. i can only read it between#like. october and february. any other time i have to put it away until the next fall#this could be the year though. i could read it this year#i read the golden tower (took 5 years) i can do anything i’m unstoppable…….#beth.txt
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My life would make a really great movie advocating for parents to have mental health evaluations before they can raise/have children
#my parents are so messed up in the brain I’m so shocked they’ve made it this long#this isn’t really venting because like#I’m used to it#it doesn’t bother me anymore but I do wish they’d gotten to live better lives#anyways yeah they’ll haunt me forever I just know it#keeppies personal shit
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my total admiration for nurses and caretakers. I’ve spent a couple of days taking care of my grandma because my aunt and mom are on holidays and I ended up crying out of frustration
#like i take care of her sometimes but not usually the heavy stuff like hospital admitions and stuff#it’s just so much work? and I’m physically and emotionally exhausted#she’s old and i adore her because she basically raised me#but fuck it’s hard to deal with someone who doesn’t listen and want things exactly the way she wants them and won’t accept other options#I’m just really frustrated right now after spending 1 hours between calls because she touched something on the tv and it didn’t work#i ended up sobbing and with a little mealtdown and my cousin managed to fix the issue via phone call#i feel weak and a failure but i mentally need a break agter yesterday#it breaks my heart but I can’t spent more than a few hours with my grandparents without ending up being very very frustrated#which makes me feel like I’m an ungrateful bitch#anyway i don’t have any more energy today and it’s not even 1pm#i wish i could call someone to give me a hug and hold me while i cry for a bit#but i feel guilty about bothering the few friends i have so yeah#im gonna pour my feelings in a tumblr post like i used to do 10 years ago lmao
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