#but yeah haven’t used my alcohol markers in a while

[n3ptuned]

he cured my art block on the downside i accidentally worked on it until 1 am (tbf i was very distracted)

[spicywhenspeaking]

If I'm There: Chapter Fifteen

read from part one here!

summary: Noah and Natalie meet in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind.

warnings: underage drinking, unprotected sex (ope), mentions of depression and alcoholic parents.

taglist : @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens @thisbicc @thebadchic @laurpartyprogram

When I read New Moon for the first time I thought Bella was being dramatic, sitting in front of her bedroom window just staring as time passed and seasons changed. How could your boyfriend breaking up with you leave someone such a shell?

I understand now.

Time isn’t just passing by me, it’s passing through me. School and work blur together, I’m still doing relatively well in my classes but I’m not giving it much effort and my teachers have noticed. Maggie tried to pull me out of my funk and invited me out to hang out, but I constantly came up with excuses to get out of it.

Mom comes home in November and I don’t register her arrival. Maybe if she had been a normal mom I could have been the kind of teenager that could keep up with her cool rockstar boyfriend. I wouldn’t have had to be nerdy Natalie, too focused on school to step away and have fun.

Thanksgiving is as eventful as you could imagine. Mom and Dad are trying to make us seem like a big happy family again like nothing happened. Of course a week later we find Mom’s stash of vodka in her sock drawer and she sobs while dad packs her bag to haul her back off to rehab.

I don’t react. I don’t care.

Nick texts me every once in a while but I usually ignore him. I know that’s mean but I don’t want to hear about the tour or Noah. Who doesn’t reach out at all. Jerk. I take all the pictures I had of us printed out together and shove them in an old shoebox. I throw in the shirts he gave me too, along with the cd and that stupid wolf drawing I kept and bury it in the back of my closet.

“Natty, come on. Let's just get out of the house, we can go to a movie?” Kyle has been trying to make me feel better, he feels responsible for what happened with Noah. I don’t think so, he didn’t force Noah to break up with me. No. Noah did that all on his own. We end up going to see some stupid action movie, I don’t pay attention to it.

Suddenly it’s December and finals are done. The semester is over, only a few more months and highschool is done.

It’s Christmas and Kyle got me a new set of ink markers and a sketchbook. “You haven’t been drawing much, thought a new sketchbook would inspire you.” Kyle says.

I try to smile, turning through the crisp clean pages. “Thank you Ky. I’m sorry, I didn’t get you anything…” my voice disappears. “I just lost track of time.”

He nods in understanding, “no worries sis, you can draw me something” he nudges me and laughs.

“Yeah, of course.” I curl up onto the couch with the empty page in front of me. I end up drawing a skeleton hand sticking up its middle finger. I rip it out of the book and hand it to him. He laughs “thanks Natty, very festive” he jokes and a small laugh escapes me.

A week later it’s New Year’s Eve and Kyle is trying to get me to go to a party with him.

“Come on Natty, you’ll have fun!” He tries to convince me but it’s not working. “Really, I’ll be fine. I’m just going to head to bed early. You should go have fun Ky.”

He reluctantly leaves me and I’m digging in my fridge smelling leftovers when I hear the doorbell.

Walking over I open the door and Maggie barges past me dressed in a beautiful silver body-con dress, her curly hair is bouncy and her make up is sparkly and bright. Perfect for New Year’s Eve. “Um..hello to you too Mags, what are you doing here?” She gives me a once over and huffs an annoyed breath. “Well after you go take the shower you desperately need. We’re getting you dressed up and going to the party Hunter is hosting a few streets away.” Hunter is the guy that works at the coffee shop that’s a year older than us. We work together some weeknights and he’s nice enough.

“Uhhh I don’t know Maggie, I’m not really in the party mood.” I tell her as I pick aimlessly at my oversized hoodie.

“I don’t care. You’ve been sad about that idiot long enough. It’s time to start living again and show everyone what a mistake it was letting you go. The first of the year is the perfect time to start!” She encourages me and ushers me up the stairs towards my room.

Thirty minutes later I’m shaved, moisturized and sitting in front of my vanity while Maggie applies my makeup. She brought a dress for me to wear, it’s a deep cut golden glittering dress that hits me in the middle of my thighs. She brought a matching pair of gold heels and I put on my small gold hoops. She’s finishing up with a light mist of setting spray and moving on to my hair. Maggie thinks I will look good with loose curls with one side pinned back. I decide to let her take full control and when she’s done I look like a different person. Well, not exactly. I look like me, just not like I’m used to. My boobs are pushed up because of the bra Maggie brought for me so they look incredible and my skin is glowing because of the luminous powder Maggie dusted me with. I feel good. For the first time since Noah dumped me, I actually feel good.

I turn to hug Maggie, “thank you.” Her arms wrap around me returning my hug. “You’re welcome Nat, now let’s go party!” Giggling, we run down the stairs together.

Hunter's house is about a ten minute walk from my house. It’s a cold night but when I reached for a jacket on my way out of the door, Maggie told me not too. That “the party would heat me up,” whatever that meant. As we round the block and head down the street towards the party my skin prickles with goose bumps and I rub my hands up and down them to warm up. Maggie sees the house and points it out. It's a big white two story colonial with warm white Christmas lights lighting it up.

The front door is open but thankfully Maggie was right and it's warm inside the crowded house. “Okay, now lets go grab a drink!” Maggie calls out over the music. A DJ that I noticed in the corner of the cleared out living room is playing “We Found Love” by Calvin Harris and I have to laugh at the irony. I follow Maggie to the kitchen where there is more alcohol surrounding the kitchen island than I’ve ever seen. She mixes two cups and hands one of them to me. I hesitate to grab it at first but eventually I take it “what the hell,” I say and take a big gulp. The alcohol burns my throat going down but leaves a warming sensation in my stomach. “Woo! Lets party Natty!!”

Maggie cheers as she raises her cup in toast and takes a sip. The crowd, the loud music and the hungry eyes that have been checking me out since we got here have me slightly nervous. I want to have fun, I want to get out of my funk and have a good time. I take the drink and chug it all down. “Another one please,” I hold out the cup to Maggie and she looks at me surprised. “Alright Natty, careful now. I don’t want you to get sick.” she warns gently. “Trust me, I'll be fine, I come from a long line of alcoholics.” I mean it to come out as a joke but Maggie just looks slightly concerned. “It's just a joke Mags, I’ll be fine.” She nods and mixes me another drink and hands it over.

I take it and we wander out towards the dance floor. It’s only 10:30 so we have plenty of time until midnight. I think the DJ is doing a countdown of songs of the year because now he’s playing “I Love It” by Icona Pop. Maggie and I are dancing and I can feel myself loosening up, swaying my hips and jumping to the beat. I feel more alive than I have in weeks. I am so thankful to have a friend like Maggie.

The next hour is a mix of dancing and drinking, I am playing a round of flip cup in the backyard. My team wins and two other senior boys that I think are on the football team I was playing with lift me up onto their shoulders in celebration. I’m laughing and definitely drunk at this point and when I look up towards the back porch and feel like my eyes deceive me and I have to do a double take.

It’s Nick and Noah. He’s here. Why is he here? He’s looking at me with wide eyes and then looking down at the very large football players that are currently holding me up and his eyes squint into a glare. I tap the boys shoulders and they place me gently back on the floor. “Thanks for the lift boys.” I joke and we share a laugh.

My eyes shift back towards the porch and Nick and Noah are gone…was I just seeing things? I am pretty drunk so It’s likely.

I walk over to Maggie and she’s looking down at her phone texting, when she looks up and see’s me she quickly puts her phone behind her back.

I eye her suspiciously. “What are you up too?” I ask.

She smiles wide and tries to tilt her head to act innocent. “Well…maybe Nick texted that him and Noah were in town…and maybe I told him where the party was.”

My eyes bugg out and I lightly push her shoulder. “Maggie! Why would you do that!! Since when are you two texting?!” She grabs my drink and hands it to me and with the added surprise I throw it back instantly. “He texts me occasionally to see how everything is going? How you’re doing, since you don’t respond to his texts….” I roll my eyes. “I’m not going to talk to them. I don't care that he’s here. I’m having fun and I’m going to dance some more.” I turn and head back towards the house. “Are you coming?” I ask back towards Maggie and she follows after.

Grabbing Maggies hand I get back onto the dancefloor with new found enthusiasm. My hips are swaying and my hands are above my head, my hair is swinging side to side. Maggie is dancing in front of me and I suddenly feel hands on my waist. Looking back I see it’s Hunter. “Nice party Hunter.” I tell him. He smiles, “Nice dress Natalie, you looks hot.” I blush at his compliment. “Thanks.” I don’t know what comes over me but I know my dancing with Hunter is becoming riskier. My back is pressed completely against his front and his strong hands are gripping my waist.

Suddenly I’m being ripped off the dance floor and away from Hunter and Maggie. “What the fuck!” I squeal, turning to see how grabbed me. I see none other than Noah.

“Put me down Noah! Right now!” I yell at him over the music. I wiggle and kick to get out of his grip but he’s too strong and I’m too drunk to figure out how to escape with any of my karate skills. What’s the point of having a black belt if I can’t remember how to break out of a hold after a few drinks. More than a few drinks I guess as the world spins and I’m set back down on my feet in the cold night air.

“Natalie, what the Hell are you doing?!” Noah says in an explosive tone.

It takes me a moment to react. To fight past the feelings of relief in seeing him. To dig deep into myself for the anger. “Excuse me?” I say and my voice is dripping with venom. “Who the FUCK do you think you are?! Wisking in to pull me away while I’m finally having fun!” I yell not caring who hears and his eyes dark around. I fight the compulsion to get closer to him, the need to reach out and touch him to see if he’s real.

He just ignores my yelling and asks again “what’s going on Natty, you’re drunk dancing on some guy? That's not like you.”

I laugh out loud “ha! What happened?! Seriously? Well..let me see.” I say in a mocking tone and tap my finger against my chin. “My boyfriend dumped me and then left without a word, then, my Mom immediately relapsed when she got home from rehab and I fell into a pit of depression that my best friend dug me out of. She brought me out to party tonight and that’s exactly what I was doing. I’m at a party. I’m partying.” My voice despite slurring slightly is resolved. He eyes me up and down, his hand reaching out, hesitating and then dropping back to his side. “You’re barely clothed. You never dress like this” he snides, “and you're drunk. I thought you didn’t drink?” He asks.

“Yeah well, I thought you said you’d love me forever but I guess things change. And you’re drunk too! How are you judging me for that right now and as for the outfit? Everyone else thinks I look hot. I know Hunter did. Should we go ask?” I know I’m pushing him but I don’t care. I move to get past him and he holds out his arm, stopping me. “No need. I know exactly what he was thinking. I saw his face, how he was looking at you like a piece of meat.” Noah’s voice sounds tormented, like watching me dance with Hunter was painful. “Well Noah! He can look at me however he wants! And I can dance with whoever I want and I can kiss whoever I want! And if I want to, I can FUCK whoever I want! You dumped me, remember? You don’t get to come back and act like my big protector anymore.” Forgetting my previous restraint I end up growling out all of this about an inch from Noah’s face. He backs me back up against the wall and keeps the distance the same. We’re nose to nose and I hear a rumble in his chest. “You deserve better than him, better than me.” My eyes roll, “oh fuck off with that. I am perfectly capable of making that kind of decision myself”

We can hear the countdown begin inside the house.

TEN…

NINE…

“I’m just trying to help you Nat, that guys bad news”

EIGHT…

SEVEN…

“Hilarious, that’s exactly what people told me about you.”

FIVE….

FOUR…

“Maybe you should have listened.” His eyes fall to my lips and I can feel deep down that I’m done for.

THREE…

TWO….

“Is that what you wished had happened. That you had stayed away from me?”

ONE... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

I shake my head and without thinking, maybe due to the drinks or because Noah is finally back in front of me and I still desperately miss him despite the heartbreak. I pull him even closer and kiss him.

At first he’s stiff, hands and body stilled until my fingers toy with the hair at the nape of his neck and he comes alive. Grabbing me back and kissing me fiercely, like a man starved and I’m the only water he’s seen in weeks, months, years.

Fireworks explode in the background and we burst apart when the rest of the party runs outside to watch the sky glitter with a chorus of colors.

Staring at each other, mouths red and swollen from our harsh kiss, he looks me up and down again and says “fuck it, do you want to get out of here?”

I nod silently and Noah takes my hand and leads me away from the party and down the street heading towards my house. Praying to the universe that Kyle isn’t home and pushing away the thoughts that are asking “is this a good idea?” “What’s going on here?” I don’t care. We kissed and everything fell away.

I am so weak.

Apparently so is he, his whole “you deserve better” thing flew out the window the second our lips touched again.

The cold air sobers us up a bit by the time we’re sitting on the floor against my bed awkwardly.

“Um, I found a stash of my moms vodka my dad didn’t catch if you want another drink?” I ask and fidget with the bottom of my dress. His eyes track my fingers on my thighs and he mumbles out a quiet “sure.”

I run out of the room back downstairs to grab two cups, filling them with ice and cranberry juice. Next, I go into the pantry and look behind the five pound sack of flour and still sitting there, a tad dusty, is half a handle of whipped cream vodka. I pour some in each drink and take the cups along with the bottle back upstairs.

Noah has moved to now sit on my bed, his head against my headboard. “I missed your room, it smells like you” he says softly as I hand him the drink.

“Yeah, well hopefully by that you don’t mean you miss my BO. I’d have to call you out for that one” I try to joke and diffuse the awkwardness. He chuckles and takes a sip of the drink. “This is good. Um, butno I don’t mean you’re BO. It just smells good. Like you”

I smile and take a sip of my own drink. “Thanks then, I guess”

We drink in comfortable silence finishing our drinks and refill the cups with another shot of the vodka. There’s not as much cranberry hiding the flavor but the sweetness of the whipped cream in the vodka is pretty easy to get down. The closeness, the renewed alcohol in our systems brings me back into my warm drunken state.

“How have you been Natty?” His eyes are downcast, not risking seeing the pain that flashes in my eyes at his question.

“I’ve been better, but Maggie has been helping me. Nick texts me sometimes, I should be better about responding. How have you been?” I ask, but I keep my eyes fixed on him.

He lifts his head and meets my gaze, “pretty shit without you to be honest, I shouldn’t have ended it like that.” His words are soft and lure me in.

“But you still would have done it?” I ask and take another sip, easing the nerves creeping up.

“I should say yes. I think you deserve so much more Nat. You deserve everything, attention and support and no drama.” His fingers trail from resting beside him to tracing the hem of my dress and I chug down the rest of the cup and set it aside. “What is life without drama?” I ask and fight against the urge to lean forward towards his warmth.

“A life free of sadness and anger?” his voice is melancholy and I feel my heart cracking again.

“Those come with life regardless. They are unavoidable for everyone.” Like an invisible force field shatters, I place my hand delicately on his shoulder, “you brought much more into my life than sadness and anger” I whisper to him, afraid of putting so much of myself out into the open but, the effects of drinking seem to have broken down my boundaries.

“You brought everything into my life” Noah replies and moves swiftly capturing my lips in a firm kiss and I instantly melt into him. Scrambling I slot my things on either side of him and tangle my hands into his hair. His hands grip my waist and move to squeeze my ass and bring me even closer. “Noah, Noah, I need you” I whimper in between kisses and he slides his hands under my dress and squeezes my flesh.

“Fuck, Natalie. I missed you so much” he says into my neck as he kisses up and down. He reaches around and unzips the back of my dress and lets it fall down my arms and around my waist.

He unhooks my bra and I rip his shirt over his head. Instantly he’s on me again, lips kissing and sucking at my skin causing me to squirm and grind down onto him feeling the hard length of him.

He flips us over and pulls the rest of my dress down and staring down at me with burning desire. My head is spinning but I refocus on the feeling of Noah pulling down my panties and trailing a path of open wet kisses towards my soaking wet core. At the first touch I buck off of the bed and a sinful whine escapes my lips.”I missed the way you taste” he moans out. And even with his mind clouded with alcohol he is a master with his tongue and I squirm in pleasure. When he adds a finger my body writhes in pleasure as I fall apart in a cry of ecstasy.

“More Noah, please. I need more” I beg and he stumbles to unbutton his pants, not even all the way off his legs before he’s sinking into my warmth. “Oh Natalie, you feel perfect. You’re everything, so good. Fuck” he moans as he begins to move his hips back and forth causing sparks of white to appear behind my eyes and the glorious feeling of being filled completely.

We’re a tad uncoordinated and unbalanced due to the alcohol but we eventually set a pace that’s causing us both to catch our breaths and moan in tandem. Noah’s hand reaches down to press against my clit and I set off into a second orgasm. My inner walls clenching around him and causing him to lose himself and spills deep into me.

“Fuck.” He gasps out and rests his head against my stomach as we both take a moment to catch our breath.

“Yeah, you can say that again” I respond half asleep.

Noah rolls off and onto the stop next to me, crashing onto the pillow and we pass out wrapped tightly together.

Hours later with the morning sun leaking into my room I groan, wiping the sleep from my eyes and while moving to sit up feeling the arms around me I am reminded of the actions of last night.

I reach over to my phone that is almost dead on my nightstand and I see I have missed texts.

Maggie: ims o drink!!! I’ll call u tmorw LUCV YOU 1:36am

Kyle: staying to make sure my boys get home safe, I’ll be back home tomorrow afternoon. Happy new year nat! 12:45am

“Shit” Noah grumbles as he slowly rises and sees the state of the two of us. “Um..how are you feeling?” He asks cautiously. I shrug “I feel tired, nauseous but also hungry? And my head is killing me” I say to him, “you?” He has his face in his hands before looking up at me. “I’m okay. I'm just- I’m sorry about last night. That was stupid” his voice is pinched and he’s throwing his legs over the side of the bed pulling his pants quickly back on and running a stressed hand through his hair. “What? What are you talking about Noah?” I demand, pulling the blanket higher to cover myself. He pulls his shirt on next and let’s put a harsh sigh. “Sleeping together, that was a mistake.”

That stings. “A mistake?” I whisper, “so you don’t even want to try and make this work?” I ask with agony clear in my voice. “You’re just going to leave? Again?”

“I shouldn’t have come over here last night, it’s not fair to you Nat. I can’t be what you deserve right now and I can’t ask you to wait around for me. I'll just complicate your life” He finally looks at me and there’s nothing I can do about the tears falling from my eyes.

“If that’s how you feel I’m not going to beg you to love me. Just go Noah. Leaving is apparently something you’ve mastered” I don’t care about the spiteful nature of my words. I just roll back over facing away from him as he finishes gathering his things and heads out of my room and out of my life again. I go back to sleep for a few more hours. I don’t cry until I’m showering off the makeup and sweat from the night before.

Kyle gets home and doesn’t ask when he sees my red rimmed eyes just gives me a side hug and tell me it will get easier.

Maggie texts me again later in the afternoon.

Maggie: YOU LEFT THE PARTY WITH NOAH?! Girl! SPILL NOW! 2:35pm

Natalie: Come over? We can have a girls night and I’ll tell you about it. Just understand that I don’t want to ever hear the name Noah Sebastian again. 2:37pm

muawh muawh ! kisses kisses ! I know it hurts but just trust the process....

next chapter

[toosicktoocare]

okay, spoilers for the most recent 911 episode below (and tagged as such as well)

i haven’t written in months- i just have a lot of feelings, and i needed to work through them

It’s weird, Buck thinks, how quickly the sound around him can fade, how fast the pain in his back and his side can grow fuzzy, almost numb even, until he’s completely disassociating, losing his touch on reality in time with Eddie’s final blink.

He’s back at Eddie’s house, head burrowed in the fridge, and he’s digging around meal prep containers for hidden beers.

“Heard you flipped out yesterday.”

“Huh?” Buck’s only half listening because he’s on a quest of the alcoholic nature, and he’s pretty sure he spots a dark neck of a beer bottle nestled between a container of rice and a jar of low fat mayonnaise.

“At the well.”

This Buck hears quite clearly, and he snags the beer and turns away from the fridge, lips curving softly downward at the edges.

“Bobby said you were frantic.”

The grooves in the beer bottle cap dig into Buck’s palm. Or maybe, Buck thinks, he’s deliberately pushing it into his skin. “You were trapped.”

“And your plan was what, Buck? Dig me out with your hands?”

“If that’s what I had to,” Buck spits back, eyes narrow, shooting Eddie a gaze he is normally on the receiving end of, and it’s just enough to have Eddie’s face go soft before him.

“Not sure if I should thank you because I know that you are genuinely serious, or if I should officially declare you as the world’s biggest idiot because I know that you are genuinely serious.”

Buck laughs lowly under his breath, yet still, his eyes are warm, determined, and he cocks his head to the side. “I said I have your back, didn’t I?”

“This again?” Eddie asks, now laughing with Buck.

“I’m a man of my damn word, Eddie. If I say I have you back, then I have your back.”

“Firefighter Buckley!”

Buck’s gotten used to pulling himself slowly out of a dissociative state, cool and calm, working through grounding techniques, so the abrupt, loud voice in his ear is a gun shot that rips through his mind.

Gun shot.

Buck blinks quickly. Eddie’s face is now in full view, and he looks unnaturally pale and cold, a contrast to his blood still warm and splattered across his face.

“Eddie.”

“Sir, we’ll get to him as soon as it’s safe. We need to focus on you first.”

Buck shoves himself up into a sitting position, ignoring the thrum of pain gnawing at his side. He’s sure he’ll look purple and blue by morning.

“No, Eddie,” he repeats, unable to form much more in terms of sentences. His mind can only collect what’s currently the most meaningful in this situation, and that one thing is only Eddie.

“Eddie,” he tries again, louder, hoping to jostle Eddie awake by his voice, hoping that, maybe, Eddie’s only passed out from the pain and that the pool of blood isn’t actually draining from a potentially severe gun shot wound.

“Firefighter Buckley—”

Buck shoves away from the firefighter beside him. He ignores the hand grabbing at his shirt, ignores the voices shouting for him to come back, and then he’s hovering over Eddie, shielding him, assessing what he can of the wound with shaking hands.

Eddie’s unresponsive below him, and Buck’s stomach twists so tightly, he could double over in pain. He’s just turning around to yell for help when he’s being jerked to his feet by a cop. His eyes stay on Eddie as Eddie’s rushed onto a backboard, and he’s so focused on Eddie’s face, so desperate for a hint of life, a crease of the brow, that he doesn’t process the hand squeezing his arm or the voice close to his ear until the cop is speaking.

“Go with him, and stay low.”

Nodding, Buck hunches over and runs to the ambulance Eddie’s being lifted into, and the second he gets a nod, he pulls himself up, and the door’s closed in front of him.

With as loud as it had been outside, it’s eerily quiet in the ambulance, even with the siren blaring overhead. The paramedics are working quickly and quietly, discussing the best course of action under their breath. Buck stares at Eddie’s sodden shirt, at the too dark stain toward his shoulder, and he reaches over, ripping the shirt open to get a clear look.

“Sir, please let us handle the patient.”

One of the paramedics swats at Buck’s hands, and he leans back, eyes glued to the small silver bullet nestled inside of Eddie’s chest. It wasn’t a clean shot, and Buck knows that poses more recovery complications. He’s sure surgery is just on the horizon for Eddie.

He only pulls his eyes away from the angry wound when Eddie groans, his brow furrowing.

“Eddie?” Buck leans forward, one hand resting just above Eddie’s forehead, his hair soft against his palm. “Can you hear me?”

Eddie’s eyes squeeze before he pries them open. Even through the small slits, Buck can see how glossy and unfocused Eddie looks.

“Buck?”

His voice is shot, weak, and thick with pain, and Buck nods, one thumb smoothing across Eddie’s forehead.

“Hey, man. Yeah, it’s me. You’re going to be okay.”

Eddie frowns, and he lifts one shaking hand to Buck’s cheek, fingers pressing to the blood on Buck’s face.

“You’re hurt?”

“What?” Buck asks, shaking his head. He goes to explain more, to reassure that he’s fine, but Eddie goes slack below him, and the paramedics push him back, shouting for the driver to pick up the pace. Eddie’s crashing, and the frantic beeping is deafening to his ears.

He won’t because he wants all focus to be on saving Eddie, but still, Buck kind of wishes he could throw up to ease the pressure in his gut.

***

“Buck!”

Bobby’s voice rings out across the waiting room, and Buck lifts his head from his hands to see Bobby running toward him with Athena hot on his heels. He can see the question written all over Bobby’s face, and he holds up a single hand, shaking his head.

“It’s not my blood.” What he leaves off is how he’d give anything for it to be his blood. For him to be the one carted off to surgery, not Eddie.

Bobby nods, and Athena sighs softly.

“You okay, Buckaroo?”

Buck’s not sure if it’s just because it’s Athena, or if it’s her motherly nature, but his composure crumbles at her words. He wants to tell them he’s fine— that Eddie is the one everyone should worry about. But, he can’t stop shaking, and his eyes have been burning with unshed tears.

Athena pulls him to his feet, and he falls against her, a sob ripping up his throat. He can feel Bobby at his back, a warm, grounding hand to his shoulder, and Athena’s arms are wrapped tightly around his back, keeping the pieces together.

“You’re okay, Buck.”

He clings to Athena until he’s sure he can stand up on his own, and then he falls into the soft question and answer process, revealing all he knows: Eddie was shot; the police who took his statement have yet to find the shooter, but they don’t think Eddie was specifically a target; he’s in surgery, but the doctors are extremely optimistic.

“Are we going to be able to pry you away from this hospital?” Athena asks, and Buck gives a shaky nod.

“Chris is with a friend, and Eddie was supposed to pick him up. I’m going to... I’ve got to tell him.”

“We can have someone else—”

“—no,” Buck interrupts, stepping back. “It has to be me.” He catches a glimpse of his reflection in the smudged glass of a vending machine: pale face smeared red with dried blood. “I should,” he notions weakly to his face, laughs awkwardly, and Bobby nods, a frown etched across his lips.

“I’ll drive you back to your jeep after you wash up.”

Nodding, Buck slips to the bathroom, thankful to find it empty. He looks at himself, but all he can see is the muted, pale shock written across Eddie’s face looking back at him, painted in the blood splattered across his face. He turns the tap on as hot as it will allow, and then he scrubs, hands moving roughly up and down his face, the hand soap slightly stinging his skin. He scrubs until his entire face burns, and then he stumbles backward with a gasp he covers with his palm.

He holds in a deep breath that quakes against his lungs, and he doesn’t release it until he’s sure he can without falling apart.

“Eddie’s going to be fine,” he says aloud, practicing now to sound as confident and as believable as he can.

***

“Did you get hurt at work, Buck?”

Buck’s not surprised that the first question out of Christopher’s mouth is about his well-being and not of his dad’s absence— typical Diaz behavior.

“Uh, no, bud.” Buck kneels down, leveling himself with Christopher. “It’s not mine.”

“Where’s my dad?”

“He...” Buck stumbles with his words, swallows thickly. “He won’t be coming home tonight, bud. He got hurt at work, but I’m going to make sure he gets better real fast.”

“Is he at the hospital? Can I see him?”

Christopher’s voice is growing more and more unsteady, adopting a waver that’s a brick smashing to Buck’s heart.

“He is, but he’s still busy getting patched up, so he can’t have visitors just yet.”

Christopher nods, and Buck wonders just when it was exactly that Chris matured without his seeing. “He’s going to be okay, bud. But you know what will make him get better faster?”

Before Buck can answer, Carla slips into the room, supplies in hand.

“Make him a really big card!”

“Yes!” Christopher’s smile turns into a giggle as Carla drops markers and glitter and poster boards onto Eddie’s kitchen table.

“Chris, Carla’s going to watch you while I go back to the hospital. As soon as I get the okay for visitors, I’ll call.”

Christopher nods and shuffles to the table, already scoping out markers to use for the card. While occupied, Buck slips toward the door with Carla hot on his heels.

“Is he okay?”

“Still in surgery,” Buck answers on auto-pilot, having muttered those words too many times already to count.

“Are you okay?”

Buck laughs weakly, rakes a hand through his hair. “Ask me again when Eddie’s awake.”

“Oh, honey—”

“It’s okay,” Buck mutters, casting his eyes to the floor. “Sign my name on the card for me?”

“Buck, why don’t you stay for a little bit? Change your clothes? Eat something?”

“I can’t,” Buck shakes his head, unsure how to explain that the only way to easy the jutting pain in his chest is to be back at the hospital. “I need to—”

“Go,” Carla rolls her eyes. “But I’m bringing you food.”

Buck smiles, small but genuine. “Thanks, Carla.”

***

Buck scans his text from Hen, gnaws at his lower lip.

[From: Hen] where’d you run off to? We’re all in the waiting room.

He pulls his gaze up to Eddie’s sleeping form, to the wires sticking out of him.

[To: Hen] I may have waited until a dr walked through the double doors and snuck into Eddie’s room...

His phone blows up shortly after with texts and calls, and he ignores all, instead typing to a 118 group text.

[To: Fire Fam] look, I know I’m not supposed to be back here, but don’t tell on me okay? I know the dr said his surgery went well, but I had to see for myself

[From Chim in Fire Fam] Hen’s rolling her eyes

[From Hen in Fire Fam] damn right I am. So is Athena

[From Bobby in Fire Fam] how is he?

He looks terrible, Buck thinks. His skin is still too pale, and there are dark purple spots coloring below his eyes. His breathing is labored, and his face is pinched as if in pain.

Terrible, Buck thinks, yet so beautifully alive. The relief is edging his nerves, hesitant to completely encompass him.

[To Fire Fam] he looks like hell, but he’s alive

Buck locks his phone and leans forward, resting his head on the edge of Eddie’s bed. He lays one hand over Eddie’s, and he drifts somewhere between awake and asleep, coming to fully when Eddie groans above him.

He jerks forward, leans in close, and squeezes Eddie’s hand. “Eddie? You with me?”

It takes an impossibly long time for Eddie to open his eyes, but when he does, his smile is weak but warm enough to bring Buck’s relief fully over him.

“Buck.”

There’s no confusion in Eddie’s voice this time— only soft certainty, and Buck squeezes Eddie’s hand once more.

“In the flesh.”

“You’re here.”

“Yep,” Buck nods, smiling. “Though when I have to duck behind a chair when a nurse comes in, pretend like you didn’t see me, yeah? Kinda breaking hospital rules right now.”

Eddie laughs, and then he coughs weakly, wincing. Still, his eyes hold Buck’s gaze, and Buck wouldn’t look away even for a second.

“Chris?” Eddie finally croaks out, and Buck nods.

“He’s okay. He’s with Carla. They are coming as soon as the doctor gives the okay for visitors.”

“Legal visitors,” Eddie clarifies, and Buck smiles. If Eddie can joke, he must be on the mend.

“Hey, a part of having your back means I simply must sneak into your hospital room to make sure you don’t croak.”

Eddie’s laugh turns into a harsher cough, and Buck smooths a hand over Eddie’s forehead. “Maybe stop laughing?”

“Stop making me then,” Eddie pouts, and Buck leans back with a smile.

“I gotta talk to Carla.”

Buck cocks a brow. “She’ll be here as soon as she can.”

“She told me to make sure I’m following my own heart.”

Frowning, Buck tilts his head. “Uh, Eddie? You okay, man?”

“She was right— I thought I was but I wasn’t.”

“Okay, maybe I’ll give myself up and grab a nurse. You are talking too weird right now. Clearly something’s not clicking right in that old head of yours.” Buck makes to stand, to leave, his concern heightening behind his poor joke, but Eddie grabs at his wrist, a weak grip that Buck frowns deeply at.

“Eddie, I—”

“Stay. Please.”

Slowly, Buck takes his seat. “As long as you stop being weird as hell.”

“I will for now.”

[sehunniepotwrites]

caught in your web | m.l

🕷SYNOPSIS— in which you can’t stand mark getting hurt anymore, not when you’re madly in love with him 🕷GENRE— mcu!au, spiderman!au, fluff, suggestive  🕷PAIRING— spiderman!mark lee x person in the chair!reader (gn) 🕷WORD COUNT— 1771

🕷WARNINGS— mentions of violence and battles, cleaning wounds, making out (lmao)

 🕷AUTHOR’S NOTE—day two of my mark lee breakdown and i came up with this. i have been in love with the idea of spider!mark ever since i’ve read @xiaomoon​‘s leap of faith and i finally got to write my own version of peter marker ;;; hope y’all enjoy this! (briefly edited, some mistakes may remain!)

—🕸🕷—

You don’t exactly remember how and when it all went down, but to sum it all up, your best friend of all time is Spiderman and you’re his person in the chair. You’re the J.A.R.V.I.S. to his Tony Stark or are you his F.R.I.D.A.Y.? You can’t be his Karen because his Karen is the user interface of his current suit— never mind that, that’s not really relevant. 

The most important takeaways from this are that:

your best friend, Mark Lee, is the newest addition to the Avengers

you’re the mastermind behind the computer that guides him through New York City

And lastly, you’re in love with that dumbass of a superhero. 

At first, you were mad that Mark didn’t tell you. Then, you were quite surprised that he kept a secret from you for that long— that boy has a hard time keeping his mouth shut. 

When you first found out, Mark in full superhero garb entered his room through the window while you were impatiently waiting for him on his bed with a Death Star Lego set in hand. You dropped the almost complete set out of shock and it shattered to pieces. Mark, with his red and black mask in hand and a suit that clung to his surprisingly fit body so perfectly (like honestly, when did he look like that?), made you promise that you would never tell his Aunt May. You linked your smaller pinky with his own, swearing not to tell but on one condition— that you could be his person in the chair.

Being behind-the-scenes while in the chair is extremely thrilling. Sure, you have no superpowers to contribute to the fight but you have the brains and the technology to help Mark in any way you possibly could. You tell him the best possible route with Karen backing you up and Mark will blindly follow. You are his tracker, eyes in the sky, and his safety net—you have his complete trust.

The worst thing about being his person in the chair, though, is watching Mark get hurt in action and knowing there is not much you can do about it without physically being there. Watching the person you love get hurt—no matter how enhanced their body was—is beyond taxing. You never know if he’s going to make it and it kills you inside when you’re barking commands into your headset, calling for Karen to activate the best mode to get Mark out of the battle site. It tears you to absolute pieces and that’s how you ended up here, in your bedroom with violent tears running down your cheeks.

Mark is laying down on your bed with his torso resting against your lap. His mask is discarded somewhere on your bedroom floor while the top half of his suit is peeled off his injured body. You’re crying, hands trembling as he’s gasping for air and wincing every time you attempt to clean a wound. 

“How could you be so reckless, Mark?!” you scold him through a hushed whisper. You press another alcohol-soaked swab onto a cut. He hisses, his hand squeezing your knee to keep him from screaming. “You’re an idiot!”

Mark is groaning, body twisting and turning while sinking his teeth onto his bottom lip. You can tell he wants to scream but your parents are home and you don’t want them to walk into this gruesome sight. They think you’re just up to your usual game playing. 

“I had to!” Mark argues back. His nose is scrunched up and you can just see how much pain he’s in. You want to do nothing but kiss the pain away but there were more pressing matters to attend to, like disinfecting all the cuts scattering his body. “They were heading this way, to this neighborhood. To you!”

God, you hate how headstrong and stubborn he is at times. “And that matters why? I can easily reroute you and you know that! For some reason, you chose not to listen and now you’re badly hurt and you’re bleeding a lot and I can’t even take you to the hospital and—”

“Hey, hey, hey, no, no, no. None of that, okay? It’s fine, I’m fine.” He must’ve sensed how the panic was seeping through your veins with his spidey senses or maybe Mark just knew you well enough. 

“See?” Mark gestures to an arm you had already patched up. The cuts you already tended to look so much better than before and the bruises are healing faster than the normal rate. 

“I’ll be fine in a day or two, bubs,” he reassures you with a pained smile. That didn’t reassure you at all.

“That’s not the point!”

“Then what— ow, fuck, you’re pressing too hard, ow— what is?” Mark tries to wriggle away and you press a hand onto his firm chest (oh my god, seriously, how is he built like this?) to keep him still. 

You’re done dressing his wounds and you take in the number of supplies you’ve used to tend to him. 

The battles out there are getting worse and the teenager just comes up more battered and bruised. You don’t know much longer you can take seeing your best friend like this. You’re so caught up in him and you can’t leave. You feel as if Mark shot some of his web fluid at you and suddenly, you’re just trapped in this ridiculous web of love and you can’t fight your way out of it. 

“If you keep acting recklessly, there will be no more friendly neighborhood Spiderman!” You can’t stand the thought of Mark being gone. The world out there was tough to live in as it is but a world without your idiotic best friend with superpowers? You can’t even imagine it. 

“What if I want to be more than that?” he asks, his voice dropping lower than his usual volume, 

“Well, you can’t be more than that if you’re dead!” you hiss back at him. “And that’s something I don’t want to see!” 

He flinches at your tone.

“No, wait— ugh, that’s not what I meant,” he lifts a hand to run through his hair. “What if I want to be more than just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman?”

“Mark, I really don’t get what you’re saying.” You look down at him, confusion buzzing through your features. “And that’s saying a lot.”

“What if I wanted to be more than just Spiderman to you? Because— I don’t know, that’s all I’ve wanted for a while now? Besides, like doing this whole Avengers-slash-saving the world thing?”

You blink at him, trying to process his words as Mark rambles on, his bare back still pressed against your thighs. 

“Do you even get what I’m saying? I don’t think I’m making any sense. Shit, how do people do this?” Mark continues as you try to make sense of his ongoing rant.

“Do what?”

“Confess to the person they like? Is there, like, a step-by-step guide or something because I don’t think I’m doing this right,” he replies fairly quickly before he realizes what came spilling out of his mouth. Mark’s face turns as red as his suit and his eyes are as wide as his mask’s lenses; you’re sure your face is mirroring a similar look. 

You swallow and clear your throat, trying to organize the many revelations running through your scattered brain. “So, let me get this straight.”

“Yeah, uh, sure,” Mark almost squeaks in disbelief. 

“You almost died in my arms just now and you’re worried about the proper way to confess to me?” You laugh in disbelief. What a typical Mark thing of him to do. 

“Well, uh, yeah, ‘cause dude, I’m pretty sure you know this but I haven’t done this sort of thing before.” He’s avoiding eye contact, clearly embarrassed by the situation. His hands are playing with the ends of his suit, a tell-tale of his nervousness.

You grab his hands, pulling them away from ruining the fabric, and squeeze them gently. “You’re such a nerd,” you tease fondly. 

“Hey!” he yells back at the insult.

“But it’s a good thing that I, um, like nerds,” you manage to cough out, a heat seeping through your cheeks. Your confession is barely above a whisper but Mark’s enhanced senses help him pick up your words perfectly. His body freezes for a second before his head snaps up.

Mark’s brown irises lock onto yours, hope swimming through them. “You—you do?” 

“Yeah,” you let out a breathy laugh. Your hand runs up the side of his neck to comb through his hair. You feel him shiver at your touch and you shyly smile at him. You’re nervous but you shouldn’t be—Mark’s your best friend. 

“There’s this one nerd running around the city in a red and black suit. Ever heard of him?”

He’s laughing at this point and all your worries disappear. “Yeah, I think I have. He’s pretty cool.”

“I think he’s pretty cute, too” you confess, dipping your head down to move a bit closer to him. Mark meets you halfway, his hand wiggling its way to clasp the back of your neck. Your heart is beating so hard against your chest and the butterfly wings are tickling your stomach at the proximity. 

You touch your forehead to his, nuzzling them together and he lets out a deep chuckle that sets your heart ablaze. “I guess you could say I got caught in his web,” you tease. You hear him suck on his teeth.

“Just kiss me already.”

“Only if you promise that you’ll listen to me and be more careful out there,” you reply, boldly pressing a kiss by his mouth. He chases your lips and you quickly pull away.

“Ah, promise me.”

“Promise, yes, I promise,” he groans. “Just let me kiss you.”

The word “okay” barely leaves your mouth before he pulls himself up to press his body against yours. Mark slots his lips against yours and you sigh into him, breathing in his scent. It starts off as innocent but the kiss takes a turn when Mark breaks away to slide off your lap. He keeps his hand behind your head and lowers you down to lie completely straight on your bed.

Mark climbs on top, knees on either side of your hips as he captures your lips again. Your fingers fly to his hair and he lets out a noise as your nails scratch his scalp. “Love you,” he whispers into the kiss. 

“Love you, too,” you smile as you tug him even closer. 

Yeah, you love being Spiderman’s person in the chair but you think you love being Mark Lee’s person a hell of a whole lot more.

[thorne93]

The Stars Made Us (Part 4)

Prompt: In this world, you’re one of the “lucky” ones who got a soulmate, but what if the universe gives you more than you bargained for?

(Prompt challenge – You live in a world where your soulmate can write on their skin and you will get the writing on your own and vice versa. Where they can wash away the ink on their own skin, however, the writing is forever scarred onto your skin until you meet face to face)

Word Count: 2578

Warnings: angst and language throughout

Notes: This was supposed to be for @sorryimacrapwriter​​​  and their challenge like a year ago, I think? I still loved the prompt though and have been working on this story for quite some time. This aesthetic was made by @dontshootmespence​​​, thank you so much! Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​​​, couldn’t have done it without you, as well as @carryonmyswansong​​​ and @arrow-guy​​​ and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​

Also, I’ve never really liked the whole soulmate AU thing idea, but this felt so right and it was amazing to write. I hope y’all love it too!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You ran a private practice and as soon as his name showed up on your skin, you immediately made arrangements for your patients to see other local colleagues of yours. You told your parents where you were heading and why. You packed several suitcases, since you weren’t sure how long you’d be gone, and you took off. 

You would’ve preferred to drive, to have your own car when you got where you were going, but you needed to see Charles, and you needed to see him now. He was in trouble and he needed you, so plane it was.

The entire plane ride, you were bouncing your leg, nervous. You were excited that you’d finally see him, meet him, put a face to a personality. But you were worried, if you were visiting him, it  meant he needed help, and you had no idea what could possibly be wrong. 

In the back of your mind, you even wondered if maybe he’d reject you. Maybe he’d take one look at you and disappointment would wash over him and he’d never want to see you again. You hoped that wouldn’t be the case, but maybe he was over the idea of a soulmate. Maybe he’d met someone. 

After fighting the airport, grabbing your luggage, and hailing a cab, you were finally actually closer to Charles. Closer to meeting him. Closer to saving him. 

Your leg kept bouncing as you gave the address to the taxi driver. He glanced back at you before heading away from the airport. Your stomach was in knots, your nerves vividly alive on every part of your body. In one way, the driver couldn’t go fast enough. In another, he was speeding along way too quickly. 

You’d dreamed of this day for years. You two were closer than anyone in your life. He was the first person you went to when you had good news, bad news, sad news, a rough day, a great day. He could make you burst out laughing from just a few words in a text message. He could move you to tears with a letter on email. 

So why, now, after all this time of wishing you could see him, touch him, hear him, were you nervous? 

It was only right to be nervous, you had no idea what to expect. 

And that expectation was completely shattered when he turned into a driveway with large gates. You saw a sign that said Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, but there were weeds grown over it. You frowned. 

You were at a school? 

The taxi rolled down the drive until he reached the front door of what looked to be a mansion. You paid him and he got out to help you with your luggage. You hoisted your purse on your shoulder before taking in the expansive building in front of you. You took a deep breath and walked up to the front door and knocked with a heavy knocker. 

Twenty seconds later, the door opened and you met a tall man with blue eyes and glasses. You wondered if this was Charles. You didn’t feel as if you knew this person though. He didn’t seem familiar. 

Your brows knitted together for a fraction of a second before you cleared your throat and said, “I’m looking for Charles Xavier?” 

“Are you… a parent or a student? School’s been closed down for a while now we aren’t taking--”

“No,” you said, shaking your head, a slight laugh coming out as you glanced down at your hands. “No, I… I’m his soulmate?” 

“His...ah, right, I remember you,” he noted softly before opening the door to let you in.

“He’s mentioned me?” you asked, half for clarification and half to hear it again, just to know he’d been talking about you was a good sign. 

“Yeah, a few times.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, shaking your head as you looked around at what was clearly a mansion. “This used to be a school?” 

“Mhm. All the brightest kids, gifted--”

“Gifted, like, geniuses?” you clarified. 

“Well that and--”

“Hank, who’s here?” a British voice called down the expansive staircase. A man with long disheveled hair descended the stairs, a bathrobe hung loosely on his form, covering up dirty pajamas. A drink was in his hand and you cocked your head to the side. 

This man -- he felt entirely different from Hank. His aura. His vibe. No, Hank was most certainly not your mate. But this… destroyed man was.

You didn’t think he’d be British.

“It’s, uh, well,” Hank started but he glanced at you. “You should probably tell him.” 

“Charles, it’s me,” you said as you took a step forward, laying a hand on your chest. “I’m Y/F/I.” 

He narrowed his eyes at you as he took a seat on the stairs. “I’m sorry, is that supposed to mean something to me?” 

At first, your heart felt like ice until Hank leaned down and whispered, “Don’t take it personally, it’s the alcohol. He’s--”

“Drunk 24/7 and I love it,” he said before taking a sip. 

“No,” you said angrily. “No, this isn’t how we’re supposed to meet,” you stated, determined as you marched over, and up the stairs. “See these?” you growled, pulling your sleeves up, but there was nothing there -- no name, no scars, no address. Nothing to symbolize your past ten years of communication. “Where...where did they go?” 

“If you’re referring to the scars that are supposed to be there, don’t bother. If we are mates, they disappear when we meet, it’s how it works, this grand universe,” Charles said, making a show out of the air, waving his hands about. “So, let me get this straight, my name and location showed up on your arm and you just took off, destined to meet me?” 

“Yes, that’s what soulmates do for each other,” you reminded adamantly. “We’ve been in contact for ten years. That was before you suddenly vanished on me,” you scowled. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I break your heart?” he asked, leaning forward, his blue eyes captivating. Right now they were infuriating, and heartbreaking, but crystal clear nonetheless. “Well that’s life,” he spat before getting up. “Hank, see her to the door. I don’t want any guests. Thank you,” he said before waving, not looking back as he ascended the stairs. 

You turned around and faced Hank from the stairs, mouth open. “What… what happened to him?” 

“Where do I start?” he asked with a slight scoff. 

“Well, I guess a year ago. That’s when he stopped talking to me.” 

“A year? You haven’t been in contact for a year?” he inquired incredulously. 

“No,” you said clearly before frowning. “Why? What happened a year ago?” 

“Everything.”

----------------------------------------

You stared down at your arms, slightly saddened by the fact that your arms no longer had the scars on them, the little reminders, symbols and markers that was Charles. You suppressed a sigh just as Hank offered you a drink. 

“Would you like anything?” 

“No, thank you. So, what exactly…. He didn’t tell me anything,” you explained. “He told me goodnight and then... he was gone. I thought he was dead.” 

Hank made a face and perched an eyebrow as he stood behind the desk, leaning against a bookshelf. “He might as well have been.”

��What do you mean?” 

“We built this school, the labs, this whole place... then, just after the first semester...

There were protests. People didn’t want the school. It’s privately funded, and they didn’t like what it provided, what it stood for. Eventually we had to shut it down. He lost everything. Erik, Raven... his legs--”

“His...legs? What happened to his legs? He was perfectly fine.” Your tone made it evident you were clearly in the dark on a lot of things. 

Hanke eyed you, the realization settling over him. “He didn’t tell you, did he?” 

You frowned. 

He sighed before rounding the desk to sit down next to you. “We were in Cuba, uh, with the CIA, trying to stop this guy, he was trying to start a war. Long story short, the war kind of started, and a bullet got lodged in his back, paralyzed him.” 

The news of his sent you reeling. He was paralyzed? You had no idea how to take this.

“So how can he--”

“Walk? It’s a serum I created.” 

“You’re a doctor?” you asked, pleasant surprise in your voice. 

He gave you a half smile and a small laugh. “Not quite, more of a scientist of all trades. I take just enough to keep myself balanced... but he takes too much. I tried easing him back... but he just couldn't bear the pain, the voices. The treatment gives him his legs... but it’s not enough, and it makes him lose his powers. He's... He's just lost too much.” 

You shook your head. “I’m sorry, powers?” 

“Well, yeah, his telepathy,” he reminded, as if you were supposed to know. Suddenly, realization dawned on him. “He didn’t tell you that either, huh?”

“No, I suppose not. I had no idea he has… telepathy?” 

“Yeah, it’s his mutation. Mine is turning into a blue beast. That’s why I take the serum, but I take just enough. He overdoes it…” 

“I can’t believe he has a mutation, and he didn’t tell me,” you said aloud, astonished. It was more to yourself than to him. 

“That’s why the school was shut down, it’s a school for mutants, and some people were protesting so badly it became unsafe for the students.”

“So the sign for gifted youngsters meant mutation, not…” you said, trailing off. 

“Yeah, it’s kind of his dream to teach mutants, help them,” he informed.

“Well, I knew he wanted to teach. I mean, he told me about becoming a professor but never….” You bit your lip. “Just how much has he not told me?” you wondered, again, it wasn’t exactly directed at Hank.

“I’m not sure,” he breathed softly as he eyed you. You think he felt sympathy, maybe pity for you. You thought you and Charles knew everything about each other. Guess you were wrong. 

But it’s not like he was a racecar driver and you didn’t know it. He was a mutant, he had telepathy.

“So this… telepathy, how does it work?”

Hank started to shake his head, seeming uncertain. “You may want to ask him that yourself.”

“I don’t really think he wants to see me right now,” you muttered, feeling utterly dejected. 

You’d built this up in your head for years. You knew you’d meet him when he needed you most, but you thought it might be moral support, maybe to help him if he got in an accident in the hospital. You dreamed of meeting him forever, since the night of your 18th birthday.

Now when you found him, he was a drug dependent mutant who clearly had lost most hope in life. 

“This… is not what I expected,” you finally said. 

Hank said nothing but offered a sympathetic half smile. 

“Well, so how do I fix him?” you asked, taking a deep breath. “He lost Raven, and Erik… Wait, how exactly did he lose them?” 

“That fight, in Cuba, it was against another mutant. It was to save most of humanity, but for Erik it was a vendetta. Erik killed the mutant and asked some of the team to join him. Basically if you’re not with Erik, you’re against him.”

“And what does he stand for?” you wondered. Charles had mentioned meeting a man named Erik, and he said he was like him, but more of a lost soul that he was going to help. You thought he meant mentally, psychologically, not fighting in an actual war.

“He wants the mutants to be the super race, he feels they’re superior. He thinks the humans, if they ever found out about us, that we’d be targeted.” 

“And Charles? How does he feel about it?”

“He has faith in humanity. Yeah there would be some groups that didn’t like us, but he feels ultimately that we could get along peacefully. Well… he did before the protests.”

“So what exactly is this school for, then? I know it’s mutants but what does that mean? Why would someone protest it?”

“Charles wanted a school where mutant kids, kids just discovering their powers could come here and learn to control them safely, to exercise their powers, to understand the full range of their powers. He ultimately wanted it to be a blended school of humans and mutants, but we barely got started with just the mutants before it was shut down.” 

“That’s awful,” you breathed quietly, frowning. “Who closed the school? Was it Charles or was it the government?”

“Charles ultimately decided. He just felt the kids would be safer to go back into hiding. Here they knew where we all were, so they could come and harass us… It was only a matter of time before someone else stepped in though.” 

You were trying to keep up with everything, with all the news. “And Raven? You said he lost her too, what happened?” 

“She left with Erik. She’s got an incredible gift, she can change herself to look like any person and sound exactly like them. She’s unique and quite fascinating. She ages rather slowly. But she got tired of hiding. Her natural state is blue skin and fiery red hair, of course this is off putting to some, namely humans. So she thought it would be in her best interest if she joined the side where she might not have to hide any more,” he explained. There was a sadness, but an understanding to his voice and you couldn’t help but think that maybe they were closer than just friends. 

“She was his best friend, right?” you asked, wanting to be sure. At this point he’d left out so many details maybe Raven and he weren’t all that closer or they were closer than what he’d said. 

Hank nodded. “Practically siblings,” he commented. 

“I can see how that could devastate someone. And this Erik fellow? They were close?” 

“They were becoming that way, yes. He and Charles trained a lot together, became friends.” 

You frowned, thinking. “So what do I do for him? I mean, how do I… make him feel better?” you wondered. If anyone would know it would probably be Hank who appears to be the only one who’s stayed by his side. 

He laughed, clearly amused. “If I knew the answer to that, I don’t think you’d be here. I think I’ve done everything I can keeping the mutants and anti-mutants away. And also giving him the serum… Past that, I couldn’t tell you what gets him out of bed in the morning.” 

You pressed your lips together. “Could you show me to his room? I’d like to talk to him.” 

“Sure,” he said with an air of concern. He probably wondered if he would even talk to you. 

He got up and you followed him from what had appeared to be a study, back to the entry room, up a stairway that split in two, turning left, then walking down a long hallway to the last bedroom on the right. 

Hank knocked on the door, waited a second then cracked the door. He peeked in then turned around and nodded at you. You nodded once before he stepped out of the way and let you inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Tag:

@essie1876​​​

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@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​​​

@iamwarrenspeace

@marvel-imagines-yes-please​​​

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[jbbarnesandnoble]

Hungry Eyes: One-Shot

Pairing: Modern!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: a night out with your friends leads to you singing karaoke in front of an entire bar. you might be singing in front of them, but everyone knows who you're singing to.

Warning(s): fluff, drinking, bar setting, cringy dialogue (i did not hold back on this one yall) happy ending, my bad writing, and this was only edited once (by me, i can tell you in full confidence that my editing skills suck)

Word Count: 3,059

Prompt: Hungry Eyes by Erik Carmen

A/N: this has been sitting in my drafts since june i believe, and i have wanted to post it so badly! so naturally when i try to post it (after MONTHS of not postint) tumblr stops working and messes my whole plan up... im sorry my friends, but second times the charm (that's how the saying goes, right??)

(not my gif)

It is 9:38pm on a Saturday night, Dirty Dancing plays on your TV in the background while you get ahead on some work. It is your fifth time watching it this week, but you can’t not watch it, it is your favorite movie after-all. On the coffee table next to you, your phone vibrates. Picking it up, you greet your friend on the phone.

“What up babe, I hope you’re wearing somethin’ sexy ‘cause we’re going out tonight!” Natasha announces into her phone. You sigh, knowing there is no way for you to escape going out tonight, not after bailing on her the last four times.

Which is how you find yourself here, at O’Malley’s Bar and Karaoke. Sitting at a center table in the dimly lit bar while an intoxicated man belts out a Fleetwood Mac song. You choose a seat at the mostly empty table. Nat, who is talking with her younger sister, Yelena. Sits on your right and Sam -your other best friend- sits on your left.

“Y/n, haven’t seen you 'round here in awhile. How’s it hanging?” Yelena asks, shifting in her chair, she tries to hear over the sound of the man's bad and loud singing. If you can even call it singing.

“She's been avoiding us,” Nat says, pushing all your buttons perfectly. You do your best to ignore her antics. The wood chair scraps against the hardwood floor as you pull it out and sit between your two best friends. You answer Yelena’s question with a generic answer, ignoring her sister - and her comments - who doesn't seem to care.

“What’s up, kid. It’s been a while since you last came out with us. Nat finally blackmailed you to come with?” Sam jokes with you. You turn to face him, as he sips his water. Ice clinks around in his glass from the quick movement.

“Drinking water tonight?” You ask, more out of intrigue than anything else, though it is a good way to turn away from the current topic. Since you don’t feel like explaining your reason for not hanging out with your friend group much anymore.

It isn’t like you don’t want to go out with them, you do. But you aren’t all that fond of being around Bucky and his girlfriend Dot. You have had a huge crush on Bucky since college and have been best friends for even longer. You thought that over time that small childish crush would go away, but much to your dismay, it did not. In fact, it grew and it never stopped growing. So now, here you are, years later, in love with your best friend who you can’t have because he’s in love with someone else.

That explanation is a great way to kill everyone’s fun. Which is why you haven’t told anyone why you don’t want to hang out anymore. It’s too hard to see them together. You pushed past the pain for almost an entire year, but you aren’t sure that you can do it anymore.

“Somebody has to keep an eye on these kids,” Sam explains, acting as a true mature adult. “Also I drove,” he adds, quieter than the first part, he hides behind his drink.

“There it is.” You say, to which he responds by pretending to be hurt that you didn’t believe he would be the mature one by choice.

A waitress comes around moments later asking you what you would like to drink and eat. A smile on her face the entire time, one you recognize as a customer service smile. Completely fake, but real enough that the customers are none the wiser. You thank her, asking for only a glass of water.

“Forget whatever she asked for, she would like a beer.” Natasha interrupts the young waitress as she is about to leave the table.

“Natasha!” You shout at her, she shrugs in response taking a swig of her own beer.

“I agreed to come out with you, but I didn’t agree to drink.” You point out and it’s true. You don’t feel like drinking tonight and you have to drive yourself home so you really shouldn't be drinking.

“You agreed to drink when you said you would come out with us, plus Sam’s driving.” The redhead tries to argue as she leans back in her chair.

“Yeah, he’s driving you, unlike some people I drove myself.” She shrugs, becoming uninterested in the conversation. She goes back to talking to Yelena.

The same waitress from before comes back, water in one hand and a beer in the other. She sets them both down in front of you, a smile on her lips the entire time. Her long black hair sways back and forth as she moves around the table. She checks in on the rest of your friends who had just arrived.

“Y/n!” Clint and Tony yell in unison. While Steve greets you more calmly than the others as he claims a seat across from you. You offer a kind smile in return. Your eyes scan over the group that had sat down at your now full table and you notice two faces missing from your group.

“Are Bucky and Dot coming out tonight?” You ask no one in particular. Everyone shares glances and avoids looking in your eyes.

“It’s been so long since you’ve been out with us, we all forgot you didn’t know.” Tony said, eyebrows drawn together and a sympathetic smile on his lips.

“Know what?” you ask, letting your intrigue get the best of you. Sam is the first of your friends to speak up, seeing as he is one of your closest friends the duty fell to him.

“Buck hasn’t been out with us for a while, kid. Once you stopped hanging out with us we started to see less and less of him. Now he rarely hangs out with us.”

Your eyes scan around the table, no one is looking directly at you except for Sam and Nat. You shrug, not seeing the huge deal about the whole thing. It’s his choice not to come out, just like it is your own.

“He’s been distant with us.” Tony adds, hiding behind his drink

“His loss.” You state causally, though deep down you are a bit disappointed. It has been a while since you last saw him, it would be nice to know he is doing well.

-------

Two beers and most of the bar’s nachos later, you’re having a better time than you expected to. You forgot how much fun being around your friends is. You wish you hadn’t been such a child about the whole Bucky thing. You could have been having so much fun had you simply ignored your own feelings instead of dwelling on them.

A group of young girls is on the stage, singing along to some new pop song you have not heard before. They are not the best singers, but you can tell they don’t care. They are having fun and enjoying themselves that is all that matters. The song ends and the crowd, filled mostly with drunk people, clap and cheer as they exit the stage.

Someone’s hand pulls three times on the sleeve of your shirt. Grabbing your attention from the drunk guy who stumbled onto the stage. His friends cheer loudly as he gets ready to sing and someone from the crowd yells happy birthday. Across the bar, you find a table full of young guys and girls. Balloons and streamers decorate the booth. A banner hangs above it, written in bold blue marker reads, ‘Happy Birthday Tom'.

“Y/n, you know what you should do?” Yelena starts and you can tell the alcohol is starting to kick in the tiniest bit. Though she seems to be better at holding her liquor better than some of your other friends. “You should go up there.”

“No, no way. There is no way I’m going up there.” You argue, holding your hands up as if trying to physically stop her idea.

“Come on, it would be so much fun! Plus, if you do it Clint will pay you twenty bucks.” The blond bargains with you, both of your eyes look to where Clint is happily unaware of her idea. A smile spreads across your face.

“Fine, but I’m gonna need one more of these and you’re buying,” you say, waving your empty beer bottle back and forth.

You take your time finishing your beer, your nerves grow larger with each sip. Soon enough, Yelena caught onto what you were doing and yelled at you to drink faster. Well, you think that’s what she was doing. With her switching between Russian and English it was hard to tell what exactly she was trying to say. And Natasha’s so-called “help” did nothing, seeing as she was also speaking in Russian.

“You’re up next,” Sam announces which earns cheers from all your friends. Settling back in his chair, he pats your shoulder offering an encouraging smile. The next four minutes go faster than any other song before. The girl on stage announces your name and you reluctantly walk onto the stage. Your friends cheer you on, which helps ease your nerves. Also, the fact that most of the bar is drunk, the chances of anyone remembering this is not very high.

“Hey Sam, why didn’t you tell her they broke up?” Steve asks from across the table, which gains the rest of the group's attention. Except for Clint who never knows what’s going on. Which usually has to do with the fact that his hearing aids are off about half of the time.

“That’s his job, not mine. I’m not his babysitter.” Sam says curtly.

“He can tell her when he gets here,” Tony tells everyone in the most nonchalant way possible. All eyes are on him, confused by what he means. “I texted him, told him she finally stopped avoiding us," he pauses to correct himself, "Him, and came out for the night.”

“You drunk genius!” Clint shouts

“You’re drunk too, you idiot,” Yelena yells at him. He promptly turns his haring airds back off and mumbles something about being the soberest one there in response to her statement.

“Shut up all of you, she’s singing,” Nat yells at them.

An upbeat melody begins playing over the speakers. A small screen in front of you flashes the lyrics of the song you picked on it. Another second passes and it’s time for you to start singing. You start off quiet, not quite believing in yourself yet.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you,

I've got this feelin' that won't subside

I look at you and I fantasize

You’re mind and tonight.”

Your friends, after being quiet for a while, start cheering you on again. Their support gives you the confidence you need. From in the crowd, Sam yells, “That’s my best friend, y’all, stay jealous.” which causes you to laugh, you collect yourself and keep on singing.

“Now I’ve got you in my sights,

with these, hungry eyes

one look at you and I can’t disguise”

The song continues on and suddenly you feel like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing. Feeling more confident you attempt to do some of the dance moves that you can remember from the movie. You aren’t the best dancer, but you don’t care all that much, you’re having a lot more fun than you thought you would. In fact, you’re almost happy Yelena encouraged you to go on stage.

“I want to hold you so hear me out,

I want to show you what love’s all about

darling tonight.”

The next set of lyrics pop on the screen, not that you need them, you know this song by heart. It’s then the front door swings open and your eyes find a set of steel-blue ones, your heart skips a beat or two, or maybe three. You stutter over the words once or twice before you collect yourself enough to sing the next words.

“I’ve got hungry eyes

I feel the magic between you and I

With these hungry eyes

Now I’ve got you in my sights.”

Lyrics that meant nothing before, now mean a little too much to you. All thanks to Bucky, who had to enter the bar while you were on stage. With your heart pounding a little harder thanks to him, you keep on singing and the crowd keeps cheering. You watch as he chooses to stand a few feet behind your group rather than join them.

“I need you to see

this love was meant to be.”

Your dancing has slowed to a slow sway back and forth, your eyes never leaving Buckys. The music is quieter than before and all you can see is him. You try your best to look away, but it’s too hard when he’s staring at you like that. With his soft and gentle smile and his hair that is so fluffy all you can think about is running your hands through it. At this point, you’re well aware that you are singing to him. What you don't notice is that your friends - and everyone else in the bar - are also well aware of what is happening, and who you are really singing to.

“I feel the magic between you and I.”

“Now I’ve got you in my sights

With my hungry eyes.”

Just like that, as quickly as the song began it ended. The bar fills with applause as you leave the stage. Making a b-line to your friends who are all standing when you reach them, ready to pull you into a hug.

“Dude, that was amazing. I was even considering giving you twenty bucks myself… But I won’t, I’ll let Clint do that.” Yelena says, patting you on the back and leaning her arm on your shoulder.

“I didn’t know you could sing like that.” Steve complements, in his usual awkward manner. You thank him as he pulls you into a small hug.

“Get out of the way losers,” Sam yells from the back of the group, which makes you laugh, “You got some pipes on you, kid. I’m a bit hurt that you never told me, your best friend, that you can sing. But I’ll forgive you this time. All it'll cost you is a pizza.” he says with a wink so you know he’s only kidding, not that he needed to do that. He is your best friend, after all, you know him better than Steve and Bucky do.

Sam pulls you into a huge hug when your eyes meet Bucky’s who is standing behind the group. You turn your eyes away when you go to hug Nat next, “You should probably talk to him.” she whispers into your ear before letting you go and yelling, “Next rounds on me!” Which is the perfect chance to escape. “Waters all around!” You hear her add while walking away, boos erupt from all of your friends and a smile pulls at your lips.

“Hey, wanna get some air?” Bucky asks when you’re close enough to hear him, you nod without hesitating.

It is a bit colder outside from when you first left your apartment, a cold, Autumn breeze blows through your thin blouse. You regret not grabbing your jacket before leaving the bar. In an attempt to gain some warmth, you wrap your arms around yourself.

“Dot and I broke up,” Bucky blurts out, the sudden confession causes you to stop in your tracks. He does too, choosing to stand next to you. “I feel like an idiot about the whole thing if I’m being honest. She said that she couldn’t date me while I am in love with someone else. It took me too long to realize who she meant, when I did, everything else began to make sense in my life again.”

“So, who is it?” you ask, somehow convincing yourself that it can’t be you.

"And I thought I was an idiot." he states, a smug, joking smile on his lips.

Before you have the chance to ask him what he means. His lips crashs into yours and his hand cup your face. The kiss is slow and sweet and everything you ever imagined it would be plus more. It’s the kind that sweeps you off of your feet and steals your breath, and leaves you feeling a little dizzy afterwards. It’s the kind of kiss at the end of a rom-com when the guy finally gets the girl.

“I feel it too,” he says through soft pants, his forehead resting against your own. You hum, silently asking him what he means. “The magic between you and I, I finally feel it. Although it’s about five years overdue.” His words, as cheesy as they might be, are perfect and romantic in every way possible. Your arms wrap around his waist, pulling him closer so that your noses are almost touching.

You’re about to say something when your stomach speaks first, doing it’s best to be as loud as possible. There is a moment of silence between you before you both start laughing. Bucky’s hands fall from your face and down to your shoulders to pull you into his chest. You stand there laughing with your face buried in his chest.

“Let’s go find you some food, yeah?” he asks you, fingers running through your hair. You nod into him, more than happy to find something to eat.

“You never answered my question from before.” You say and you begin to walk to find food, your arm looped around his waist, his around your shoulders. It takes him a moment to realize what you’re talking about when he does he says,

“This girl from work, I've been in love with her since I first saw her.” He teases with a playful smirk on his lips.

“You are really mean, you know that?” You complain, faking a pout. A laugh bubbles in his throat before he plants a kiss onto your head.

“Yeah, but you still like me.” he points out before stopping to shrug off his jean jacket, after he notes the goosebumps littering your skin.

“Can’t have you catchin’ a cold on our first date.” You smile up at him as you walk to the closest pizza shop that is down the street.

[youresog0lden]

Josslyn (pt 3) II Spencer Reid

Read part one and two here

WC: 2.4k

A/N: some requested this but this will be the last part! 

Warning: cursing, and normal criminal minds things

 GIF IS NOT MINE !!!

masterlist

By the time you’re reading this it will be my birthday so I decide to write this part and it makes me incredibly happy !!

"Sometimes good thing's fall apart so better things can come in." Marilyn Monroe

Everything happens for a reason. I call everytime I get drunk but obviously you know that. I get drunk to get you off my mind but, it doesn't work. It never works, it does the complete opposite. I think of you, your smile, the way you like your coffee with this weird creamer. The way you only wear a tight long sleeve shirt tight black pants and your clunky docs. You smile every morning even if you're having a bad day. Even though the room is full of profilers. You still act happy. But the alcohol still doesn't make me forget.  I know you get my texts. I need to stop putting you threw this. I should've stopped two years ago. It's been two years. I have had to see you walk into the bullpen like you we're to happiest women on the planet. So, that's why I stopped I love seeing you happy. It almost makes me happy. I know I messed up trust me. I know I should be sorry. I really messed up but, everyday I could go up to you and get on my hands and knees and tell you how incredibly sorry I am and how bad I fucked up. I know I fucked up. It hasn't been the same with JJ and I. I can't stop thinking about the look on your face. It hurt me. I don't even know why I did it. We we're just caught up in the moment. She told me she loves me. Y/n she loves me. But I love you. I should have let it happen but ever since it did I can't stop thinking about you. I see you have a boyfriend, he seems like a nice guy the few times we met. He seem's like he could treat you better than I could. The way he looks at you, with such love. Garcia tell me you love him, and you couldn't see you're self with anyone else. While I admit that hurt I can say that it's good to see you happy. I'm happy for you as long as he doesn't hurt you, that's all that matters. I can tell you love him all you see in your eyes is the sparkle when he talks anyway. I'm sorry I haven't been there. I really want to. I want us to be like we used to be, before prison. But now everything isn't the same. I mean what can I expect. I ruined it but, I am going to let you go. I have to meet my mom in an hour and I'm not even ready.

                                        ~ Love Spencer Reid

I stare at the letter now sitting on my desk. What do I do with it now. Sam's going to be home soon and he'll flip if he reads that letter. Without even thinking I slip it into the holder for mail. He never goes in there. Without thinking I take my food to the couch eating it. Ding. I look at my phone seeing the lovely Emily has texted the group telling them we have a case. I quickly put on my jeans and boots grabbing my to-go bag before grabbing my keys locking up. I get in my car and drive down to the BAU. I swipe my key card going to my desk. Everyone was waiting for Emily and Garcia to walk into the bullpen to tell us to meet them in the conference room. My eye almost on instinct look for Dr. Reid seeing him standing there laughing with Tara. I look around before deciding to talk to JJ.

"Do you know what's going on?" I ask. I never had the right to be mad at JJ she didn't know Reid and I we're together. All she did was fuck up her own marriage and lose her best friend I couldn't be mad at her it wasn't my place. She nods her head no before seeing the bubbly blonde walk in with a tablet in her hand shaking it towards the conference room. We all nod following along except me. I set my bag at my desk and look around.

"Y/n." Garcia calls out.

"Yeah I'm coming." I say. I put the letter in my desk and walk into the room.

"Okay. What do we have." I say taking a seat next to Luke.

"Two dead."

"Meet Tom and Lilly Small."

" A husband and wife. They we're found dead in there home in Atlanta Georgia on Wednesday stabbed brutally fifteen times then shot execution style." Emily stated.

"Do they have any kids?" I ask.

"Yes two sons and a daughter." Garcia says.

"Where were they that night." JJ asked.

"Jason the oldest was at his house with his wife and son. They both can prove and so can there security cams. Zach was at a soccer game on his way home when it happened and Angel was upstairs with rope tied around her but nothing about what happened almost like she was drugged."

"Do we know with what drugs?" Reid questioned.

"A date rape drug called-" Garcia takes a second to look at it.

"gamma-butyrolactone or gbl." she says.

"GBL is a hygroscopic colorless, water-miscible liquid with a weak characteristic odor. It is the simplest 4-carbon lactone. It is mainly used as an intermediate in the production of other chemicals, e.g. methyl-2-pyrrolidone." Reid speaks. We all look at him for a brief second his eyes meet mine but, wanting nothing more than to do with him I look away. Who am I lying to. I am still madly in love with him. I shake my head hearing Spencer speak again.

"It effects the pathway to the brain." he finishes. I nod.

"Okay so she was drugged but how?" I asked.

"We don't but we have to get there soon. We are wanting to believe that the unsub will hurt again. Wheels up in 40." Emily said. All of us exit from the room. I walk to the kitchen with my coffee mug in my hand only to meet the one and only Spencer Reid. I don't say anything I just pull out the pot making sure to fill it with the coffee and sugar. Reid starts to look at me with these big eyes that say a lot. I gave him and unwanted smile and walk away drinking my coffee

----

"Ok Y/L/N, Reid go to the precinct and start the geographical map, Rossi and Tara talk to the family find any information you can out, Alvez you with me we're going to the crime site, after we'll go over to the coroners office." Emily finally finished. All of us nodding going our separate ways. Reid and I make our way towards the car heading down to the station.

----

"There's been a new murder." Emily says threw the phone.

"Where." Reid asked picking up this red marker.

"At Peach Tree Center." she says. He put's his hand on it putting a dot right where his finger is laid. Right then the phone ringed again.

"Hello." I sang.

"Hello my beautiful and my boy genius." Garcia called threw.

"Hi my pretty lady." I said

"Hey Garcia." Reid spoke.

"Okay so I just got a call from the one and only Rossi telling me that the daughter told us that her mom had a kid at 15. I guess she got pregnant early and gave her up for adoption. They just recently got in touch." she finished.

"But you'll never get this." she salted.

"What."

"Her adoptive parents we the family just killed." she finished. Reid and I looked at each other

"Where is she now."

"She is on her way down from New Jersey."

"Mark that." I call to Reid.

----

"Do you want some water." I asked coming into the room She sat there.

"So what part of New Jersey are you from?" I asked her. She  silently sat there still not saying anything.

"Ok, fine. It's in you're right of law not to talk. But you forget that I'm the profiler here. I watched you while you sat in here talking to Dr. Reid, I watched your micro-expressions. I watched as you barley blank when he mentioned the death of your mom. Now seeing that  you barley knew her I didn't expect you to be crying whale tears but for you actual family come on now. Not a single tear?" I questioned.

"Some people grieve different."

"Yes. They do but most people cry when a loved one dies. You know studies have been shown that most people who grieve cry but most psychopaths don't show emotion at all because they don't know how to show that emotion some were never raised into the right home some jsut don't know how." I say sitting down cupping my hands together.

"Now my question is why?" I ask.

"Why what?" she coyly.

"Don't play dumb with me." I smile right back.

"Awe is the Agent getting mad." I laugh

"Did you or did you not kill you're biological mom for giving you up and her kids and husband because they knew the truth and then went and killed you're adoptive parents because they kept this from you." I ask for almost a second you could see she broke. She didn't think I noticed.

"How would you know if I did."

"You made it very easy. You left Angel alive. She told us that she remembers a girl walking into her room and tying her up. She felt comfortable with her at first because this girl looked familiar but she couldn't put her finger on it. That's when Jason came forward and told us that you we're in the picture and that you always gave him an off vibe but, that. That right there wasn't enough to put you away. We had no proof. So we did a background search. You're not from New Jersey. You're from Maine. You're adoptive dad was a drunk and you're adoptive mom was not a mom she was trying to be you're best friend. You felt nothing almost as if you turned your emotions off like that." I snapped.

"Fine. I killed them." she screamed. I smirked and got up, walking out the door. The team was standing out there watching the whole thing there mouths a gaped.

"How-What?" Alvez laughed.

"How did you do that." Tara asked.

"You guys forget that this is why I was hired in the first place I am an amazing interrogator and profiler. " I smile at the lovely people infront of me.

"Hold up someone is calling me." I say walking away pulling out my phone.

"Hello this is SSA Y/L/N."

"Y/n." Sam's voice snapped.

"Oh. Hi my lovely." I smile.

"Where the fuck are you." he spat

"Wait are you with him-" he laughs

"Yes I am with him, and the whole team I work with asshat." I sigh.

"I found the letter." he states. I freeze.

"What are you talking about." I questioned dumbly.

"You know exactly what letter quit playing dumb. Are you going to tell him you love him to. Even after he hurt you?" he laughs bitterly

"I don't love him." I say in a hushed voice.

"Sure." he starts

"You know I hate it when you're with him." then he finished.

"Can you stop being so god damn controlling." I yell causing the looks of my team and a few others. Reid snapping his head first.

"Can you stop being such a bitch." he yells just as loud.

"Maybe I wouldn't be such a bitch if you stopped being so controlling."

"Whatever y/n well talk about this when we get home." I could just tell he was rolling his eyes, I decide to hang up the phone. I walk to the group a few of them letting out uncomfortable coughs. I just sigh.

"Sorry about that." I mumble looking down. They just nod all of us walking our own separate ways. I really need to talk to Spencer. I don't say anything I just kinda walk over to where he's grabbing his bag. Sam will get mad he always does but, I need to talk to him about this.

"Spence." I called him by the nickname. He looks over at me with wide eyes. He starts scrambling until I put my hand on his arm stopping him, and as cliche as it sounds but I felt fireworks. You shouldn't feel this way. It's wrong. I take my hand off his arm sliding them into my pockets uncomfortably.

"What's up."

"We need to talk." I say sternly. The blush rises up on him face.

"About what." he asked seeming to 'forget' about the letter he left me. "I can't stop thinking about the look on your face." He sighs before looking at me.

"Y/N I meant everything I said in that letter."

"I know and I just wanted to tell you that I forgive you. That I'm not mad anymore."

"You're not."

"No. It's been two years I can't stand being mad at you anymore it's tiring. I miss my best friend the one that I had before we started fucking around. I miss your stupid little facts in the morning or the nicknames you would give me. I miss walking hand in hand together into the bull pen. I miss staying up super later watching 'Doctor Who.' I miss you being the person who I can come to for anything. God Spence. I miss every part of you and I really fucked up getting into this relationship. I was just trying to move on and I thought I could but I can't I can't move on. I love you." I say.

"What about you're boyfriend." he almost cringes at the word boyfriend.

"I'm trying to leave him." I say softly.

"Why haven't you yet."

"Because like I said I'm trying to get over you."

"I love you any only you." I said softly.

"I love you." he says just as softly.

"God I love you so much." he finished.

"I'll break up with his as soon as I get home." I say softly. He hums in response. I grab the red tie he's wearing pulling my lips onto his. He wraps his arm around his waist and he wraps his around my waist and suddenly I feel at home.

[stardust-walker]

High Hopes: Chapter 10

Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

word count: 4302

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Dove sat still except for her fingers drumming on the table as Shane succeeded in bringing down the mood. Why did he have to still try to be the alpha? Why couldn't he just let people be fucking happy and blissfully ignorant for once. Rick had been right, after all. The military couldn't handle it according to the doctor. The tension in the room was stifling until Glenn spoke up from the corner. "Dude, you are such a buzzkill, man," Glenn grumbled as he sank into a chair next to Jacqui.

"Fuckin real Debbie Downer, Shane," Dove added as she ran a hand through her hair before chewing on her thumb nail. Finally, it seemed to be a little too much for the doctor too. He forced a smile as he stood up.

"Ready for the real tour," he said in an overly friendly way that made Dove's skin crawl but she had to admit she was curious and so was everyone else apparently. The dark haired woman took Sophia's hand and started after the doctor; she only stopped to put her backpack over her shoulder before they started down the hallway.

"Couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage if you like," the man explained as the lights turned on down the hallway.

"Anything's better than sleeping on the cold, hard ground in a sleeping bag, man," Dove said in response. This earned her an actual smile from the doctor.

"Make sure you don't plug in anything that uses power," the doctor turned and pointed at all of them. "Also goes for the shower. If you use it, go easy on the hot water." Dove had stopped paying attention when the word 'shower' was mentioned.

"Hot water," Glenn beamed as he turned to face everyone.

"That's what the man said," T-dog laughed. The tension was now replaced with excitement that everyone seemed to be feeling.

"I call first," Dove shouted suddenly before she took off in a sprint down the hallway. The feeling of hot water on her skin made her shriek with excitement as she was finally able to step into the shower. She wished she could stand there forever. Just alone with her thoughts and feeling normal. Still, she was careful to spare the hot water especially due to the doctor's warning. She wrapped a towel around herself before carefully reaching out to grab clean clothes from where she had thrown them in her rush to get in the shower. As she turned to step back into the stall, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. The young woman turned slightly and let out a quiet snort of laughter.

Daryl's head snapped around, his eyes wandered for a second before they snapped right back up to her face. Impressive eye contact. "What're you laughin at," he narrowed his eyes at her as he drummed his fingers on the bottle of whiskey.

Dove clutched her towel tightly and shrugged her shoulders. "Nothin, just didn't realize you were white under all that dirt," yep she had definitely had a little too much to drink. But so had Glenn, since she heard him laugh from about 2 stalls down. The only response she got was a 'hell with ya' followed by a quick exit before she turned to finally go change. She was grateful to be able to be in comfortable clothes, which for her meant an oversized t-shirt and some pajama shorts.

Once back in her room, Dove was able to lay down on a cot. She stretched her arms above her head as she closed her eyes. It was quiet. Not the scary kind of quiet that it had been out there, but it was a nice kind of quiet. A small shake of her shoulders made her open her eyes. It was Carol. "You look like you enjoyed yourself," Carol joked as she pulled her cardigan tight around herself.

"Oh you know it, mama bear. I don't think I've had that much wine since…jesus I don't even know," Dove laughed as Carol joined in.

"Sophia and I are going to go down to the rec room and check it out. Come with us," Carol smiled down at her sister.

Sophia chimed in from the doorway, "Yeah come on! Maybe they have some books and boards games and stuff like that!"

Dove sighed as she pulled herself into a sitting position, a smile on her face. "You had me at books, kiddo."

Dove sat down on the couch in the rec room as Carl and Sophia began to rummage through the board games. Dove sighed as she leaned back into the cushion. Carol spoke as she wandered over to the bookshelf, "You want anything to read?"

"Nah I'm good. I feel like if I tried, the words would swim off the pages," Dove chuckled as she shook her head slightly. Dove sighed and opened her eyes to see that Sophia had found a coloring book and Carl had found some markers. "A wise choice. You guys can't kill each other while you color." Carol laughed quietly as she walked over to sit next to her sister.

Carol opened her book before she turned to the younger woman. "How long do you think we'll be here?"

Dove shrugged her shoulders as she leaned to her right. She didn't necessarily want the kids to hear. "Dunno. Maybe a few months at most? Maybe weeks. Who know how much food and everything Jenner has left here anyway. But maybe by the time we leave everything will be better upstairs."

Carol sighed and nodded her head before she plastered a smile on her face for Sophia's sake. "I was thinking so too. I hope you're right."

Dove didn't know how long they were in the rec room or how long it was before she dozed off. Carol had been reading next to her and the next thing she knew, she was woken up by Carol's voice close to her ear. She groaned and rubbed her eyes as she sat up, only to see that Lori had walked into the room. "Hey Lori."

Lori chuckled as she greeted the other woman before she turned back to examine the room. Dove let out an exaggerated sigh right along with the kids as Carol announced that it was time for bed. "Aw come on, do we have to," Dove groaned. Sophia let out a quiet giggle as Dove rose to her feet. "C'mon Carl, we'll make sure you get to your room, buddy." Dove ruffled the little boy's hair as his mother wished him a good night.

Up ahead, Carol said, "Tonight might be the first night we get some real sleep. It's a miracle."

"Amen, hallelujah," Dove raised a hand in the air. Carl laughed as they exited into the hallway. Dove spotted movement down the other end of the hallway as they reached the door to the room they were sharing and stopped for a moment. "You guys run up ahead. I'll catch up before you even fall asleep, bug." Dove didn't wait for a response as she started down the hallway. She squinted and tried to see what was going on down the other end when she realized what it was. It was Daryl headed down the hallway, bottle of liquor in his hand as he stumbled back to his room. "Rough night," Dove leaned against the wall as she eyed the bottle in his hand.

Daryl nodded at her and stopped a few feet back, "Poor Glenn had to be carried back to his room. I don't think he's ever had that much to drink in his life," he laughed as he brought the bottle up to his mouth and took a drink.

"Yeah well I haven't had that much to drink in," Dove was cut off by a rough shove to her shoulder as someone rushed around the corner. "Hey!" She yelped as she stumbled forward a few steps and grabbed Daryl's arm to steady herself.

"What the fucks his problem," Daryl turned to look down the hallway as Shane slammed the door to his room shut.

"Shane's a fucking asshole is his problem. Alcohol just intensifies that in some people," she said quietly as she released the man's arm and stood up straight again. "You better get some rest before that hangover catches up with you."

Daryl nodded, "Same to you. I hear wine hangovers are a bitch," he patted her arm as he walked off down the hallway.

Dove backtracked and just before she opened the door to enter the room, she stopped. "What a bunch of fucking loonies."

~

Wine hangovers are, in fact, a bitch. Dove remembered this as she tried to keep her focus on making the walls not move around her as she sat down for breakfast across from Lori and Carl. "Well good morning, sleeping beauty," Lori laughed as she took one look at Dove's miserable face.

Carl frowned at the woman and looked to his mom, "What's wrong with her?"

"This, little buddy," Dove groaned as she took the pills that Lori had just offered her, "is called a hangover. Imagine the worst headache of your life. Only worse."

Lori smiled a little, "Exactly. And your daddy will probably feel the same way," she pointed at Carl.

"So much for drinking on a professional level," Daryl snorted as he walked in and took a seat a few chairs down from the younger woman.

Dove wrinkled her nose as she swallowed a gulp of water, "Shut up, Daryl."

She jumped in her chair a little bit as T-Dog piped up from behind her as he reached around to set the plate in front of her. "Here's some breakfast for the little birdie," he joked as he rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Okay firstly, I thought that cannibalism would be a more sensitive topic given our circumstances," Dove rubbed her forehead. Lori tried her best to hide her laughter. "Secondly, thank you very much. You spoil me." Dove sighed happily as she picked up her fork and began to dig in right along with everyone else.

Dove snorted as she caught a look of Rick as he walked in. Shit he looked worse than she did. "Are you hung over? Dove is and mom said you would be," Carl said in an almost excited voice. Dove had to stop herself from laughing.

Rick just smiled at the little boy, "well your mother was right."

Dove could already feel the focus coming back into her life. Dove looked down the table and chuckled as she saw Jacqui had started to rub Glenn's shoulders. She leaned over and patted his arm from her seat a few spots down as T-Dog began to talk about the eggs. "Aw my poor baby. Do you need me to kiss it and make it better," she cooed at him, but it only earned her a glare from the younger man as he continued to rub his face.

Dove stopped her joking as she heard T-Dog ask Shane what happened to his neck. A glance down the table showed her that Daryl had the same thought she did as they locked eyes for a moment before her attention turned to Shane. Were those scratch marks?

"Must have done it in my sleep," Shane said.

Dove rolled her eyes and this earned her a subtle slap to the back by Carol. She didn't need it. She knew better than to start something with the other man. He seemed really unstable and that was coming from someone who had spent hours at a time over the past few days with Daryl Dixon.

~

The human brain was a fascinating thing. Dove didn't want to say anything, but she almost felt excited to be able to see what this virus did to people's heads that made them behave the way they were outside. Her hands were wrapped around a cup of coffee as she followed behind Sophia back to the main room. She heard Jenner begin to talk to the computerized voice, VI, again. She stopped on Carol's other side and only leaned closer to her as Daryl stopped next to her.

"What are all those lights," Shane questioned as the person's brain activity began to play on the screen. Dove felt her jaw drop as she watched the light show on the screen.

"That's someone's whole life. Somewhere in all that organic wiring is you," the doctor turned and pointed at Sophia. "The thing that makes you unique and human." Dove really had to appreciate the doctor's way with words. He made it sound pretty damn beautiful.

"You don't make sense ever," Daryl questioned the man. Dove rolled her eyes but turned her attention to the redneck.

When she spoke, she sounded confident. Like she knew what she was talking about, at least somewhat. "What he means is, inside the brain. All those lights? It your synapses. Automatic reflexes, ability to talk, memories. You know what I mean. Every time a different part of the brain is lighting up, that's something that person is thinking about or doing that makes them who they are." She stopped and turned her attention back to the man in front of the group. "I mean at least that's my understanding of it. I almost failed neuropsych so…"

The doctor chuckled and nodded his head. "Basically, you're right. The only thing you missed is that they are the electrical impulses that carry the messages through your brain." Dove couldn't help but feel a little bit proud of herself as Carol gave her a pat on the back. "Everything a person says or does from the moment of life to the moment of death.”

"Is that what this is? A vigil," Rick stepped forward and Dove felt her heart sink.

When Dove realized what they were about to watch, she tuned out the rest of the world and focused on the screen in front of them. Her fingers clutched at the stone on her necklace as she watched the person's brain go dark. "Is that what happened to Jim," she heard Sophia say. Sophia was always a smart kid. Maybe too smart for her own good.

She couldn't stop the sense of dread that crept in as the brain stem became active on screen.

"The you part doesn't come back. A shell, driven by mindless instinct." Dove jumped slightly as she watched a bullet go through the person's head on the screen. That was it. There was no explanation for what was going on. They really had come all this way for nothing.

"You have no idea what this is do you," Andrea eyed the man.

"It could be microbial, viral," he continued on as Dove ran a hand through her hair and rested her head in her hands.

"Or the wrath of God," Jacqui stated. It was just as likely an option in Dove's eyes.

Dove began to pace back and forth between the rows of computers.

"Man, I'm gonna get shitfaced drunk…again," Daryl shouted as he began to pace.

Dove stopped as she heard something that made her even more hopeless. "VI what happens when the power runs out?"

"When the power runs out," the computer began, "facility-wide decontamination will occur."

Dove just stared at Carol, both of them were seeking an answer the other didn't have. Both just wanted the other to say they weren't going to die down here under the ground without a chance. The two of them led Sophia back to their room as she began to panic. "Listen to me, Sophia. I promised I wasn't going to let anything happen to you and I meant it." Dove pulled her into a tight hug as they entered the room and Carol began to pace.

Suddenly, it went dark for a minute. There was a loud 'what the fuck' from the next room as Sophia shrieked before the lights came back on followed by an announcement about emergency lighting being on. Dove froze in her tracks as she raised up on her tiptoes and held a hand to the vent. "I'll be right back."

Before either of them could protest, Dove had left the room, rounded the corner, and banged on the door she was looking for. Daryl looked angry as he ripped the door open. "What? Can't a man fucking accept death coming by getting shit-faced in fucking peace, bird?"

"No," Dove stated simply as she marched past him into the room. The door got slammed behind her as he rounded on her. "Listen! Just listen! None of us want to die down here. There has to be a way out right?" She turned to look at him.

Daryl scowled as he raised the bottle to his lips, "The hell you askin me for."

Dove threw her arms in the air, "Because maybe you're not a total idiot and actually my usual sounding board is off trying to save our asses in the fucking basement of the CDC!" Her voice raised with every word until it finally cracked. There was another surge of power and the lights went out again. Dove jumped at the sound it made and shrieked.

Daryl finally looked nervous. "What the fuck is going on?"

Then she heard it. Doors opening in the hallway and loud voices. "Why is the air off," a voice spoke up.

"Carol," Dove said quietly as she made her way to the door but Daryl beat her to it.

"What the hell's going on? Why is everything turned off," he called out into the hallway as Dove peeked her head out right after him. She didn't miss the suspicious look that Dale gave her, though. Nosy bastard.

Dove's eyes widened as the doctor swiped the bottle of alcohol from Daryl as he started down the hallway. "Energy use is being prioritized."

"Air and lights aren't a priority," Dale spoke up from the other end of the hall. Dove ran out of the room behind Daryl as he started after the other man.

"Hey man, I'm talking to you," she heard Daryl shout just before she caught up to them on the other side. "What do you mean it's shutting itself down? How can a building do anything?"

Dove reached out a hand behind her as Sophia clutched her hand tightly in a panic. Dove just nodded her head as Rick instructed everyone to go and get their things. They weren't fast enough though, as the doors leading out of the room shut right in front of their eyes.

The doctor was scaring the kids, hell he was scaring everyone as he began to rant about the horrible diseases that they didn't want getting out. Her head was beginning to pound again and it felt like the room was spinning as Sophia clung to her arm. Dove narrowed her eyes at the man as he sat down in the chair. "In event of a power failure or terrorist attack, H.I.T.s are deployed to ensure public safety." He stated as he regained his calm composure.

"H.I.T.s?" Rick questioned.

The computerized voice spoke again, "H.I.T.s. High-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear."

Dove felt Sophia's hand slip away from her as Carol wrapped her arms around her daughter. Dove sank to the floor and buried her face in her hands as the voice continued and Dr. Jenner finished. "It sets the air on fire. No pain. An end to sorrow, grief, and regret. Everything."

Dove shuddered as she tried to hold back tears. It was all turning chaotic. Even Rick. Calm, good cop Rick still tried to hold it together but he couldn't. Dove just watched from her spot on the floor next to Carol as Shane and Daryl tried their hardest to open the door. Carol and both of the kids hadn't stopped crying. Dove wrapped an arm around Carol's shoulders as she looked over at Lori. The older brunette still looked like she was just in shock.

"You should've left well enough alone. It would've been so much easier," Edwin spoke from his chair. Dove felt anger start to bubble in her stomach.

Lori snapped back at him, "Easier for who?"

"All of you, you know what's out there. A short, brutal life and an agonizing death," Jenner sounded like it actually made sense to him.

Dove leaned forward and almost growled at the man. "That still doesn't give you the right to make that choice for anyone you psychotic prick! Like burning us alive in your underground fucking dungeon is any better than what's out there." She had reached her limit with this guy. There was no way he was going to justify the fact that he was going to wipe out whole families right now.

Andrea, on the other hand, seemed just as eerily calm as the doctor did. It scared her. Shane finally ran back down the walkway, "We couldn't make a dent."

"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher," Jenner explained.

"Well your head ain't," Daryl shouted as he ran full speed down the ramp, axe swung back over his shoulder.

Everyone yelled again as the men all moved to grab him and stop him from killing the doctor.

"What part of everything's gone don't you understand," Andrea spoke up from the ground.

Dove glared daggers at the blonde woman as Sophia started to cry again.

"This is our extinction event."

"Yeah well, last I checked they were still finding things as old as the damn dinosaurs in the ocean, doctor," Dove hissed as she leaned over to comfort Sophia.

"You can't just keep us here," Carol sobbed.

"One tiny millisecond, no pain," Jenner leaned forward. Dove started to see red.

"My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this," Dove watched as her sister buried her face in Sophia's hair and broke down.

"Wouldn't it be kinder? More compassionate to just hold your loved ones," Jenner continued as Dale helped Sophia and Carol to their feet. Dove stayed where she was, despite Carol's attempts to pull her arm. "And wait for the clock to run out?" That was it.

Dove screamed and launched herself at the man. Her fist connected to his face once before a few sets of arms pulled her back. "You fucking prick! Fucking bastard! You wanna die? I'll gladly fucking help you," she shrieked as the arms pulled her back as she kicked her feet and tried to reach his head again. Once she was across the room, she felt herself get set down in a chair. T-Dog and Glenn both stared down at her. She noticed the slight fear in Glenn's eyes, but she didn't care as she sat there. Her fingernails dug into the arms of the chair as she tried to steady her breathing.

"Now you stay there," T snapped at her as he walked off to help with the door. Nothing else sunk in as she watched Shane pull a gun on the doctor now. Her knuckles hurt. It had only been one hit, but she felt like it had been a hard one. Sophia's quiet voice brought her back to her senses.

"I don't wanna die down here," the little girl cried.

Dove sucked in a deep breath before she spoke. "I don't think Rick's gonna let that happen, sweetie." Dove jumped out of her seat and wrapped her arms around her family as Shane started to fire at the computers.

Rick finally spoke up again. "I think you're lying about no hope. If that was true, you would've bolted or taken the easy way out. You didn't leave. Why?"

Jenner stood up, finally really engaged in the pleas of everyone around him. "I had to. I made a promise to her. My wife." Dove squeezed Carol's arm.

"Oh my god," she heard her sister utter from next to her.

"Test subject 19 was your wife," Lori stated.

"She begged me to keep working as long as I could have. How could I say no? She was dying. She ran this place! Hell, I just worked here. She could have done something," Jenner explained as Dove heard the bangs on the door begin again. She pulled away from Carol with a quick nod and ran up the ramp. The young woman stood on her tiptoes and began to feel along the ridge of the door.

"What the hell are you doin," Daryl shouted as he swung the axe further down the door.

"Lookin to see if there's a gap! Even if there's a tiny one, maybe you can slide the axe under there? Get some leverage and pry the son of a bitch open," Dove called over the repeated hits of the axe.

"So what are you talkin for? Keep lookin," Daryl shouted as Dove rolled her eyes. A whoosh sound startled Dove enough to cause her to fall back. The door was open. They were free. A strong grip was on her arm as Daryl had dropped the axe and pulled her to her feet. "C'mon let's go!" He shouted back to everyone.

A sense of relief rushed through the woman as Sophia ran up the ramp and right into her arms. Without a moment of hesitation, Dove picked the girl up as best she could. Carol followed close behind and started down the hallway to wait for everyone. There would be time to hug each other later, but right now they just had to worry about getting out of here alive.

___

@crossbowking​ @momc95​ @chaotic-gary-king-stan​​

[gold-and-rubies]

In It For The Long Haul - Chapter 2

I’m going to be posting these twice a day until I catch up. This is in MacCready’s POV. Warnings for violence and language.

MacCready sighed inwardly. Winlock and Barnes had tracked him down in an attempt to harass him out of the Commonwealth… again. He would not give in to them; he had too much on the line. He was just getting really tired of this.

“Can’t say I’m surprised to find you in a dump like this, MacCready,” Winlock said far too smugly for MacCready’s liking. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a girl slip into the room behind them. Great, he thought, I’m gonna lose another fucking job to these assholes.

“I was wonderin’ how long it would take your bloodhounds to track me down, Winlock. It’s been almost three months… don’t tell me you're getting rusty,” MacCready said nonchalantly, “Should we take this outside?”

“It ain’t like that I’m just here to deliver a message,” Winlock said. MacCready narrowed his eyes at that.

“In case you forgot I left the Gunners for good.”

“Yeah, I heard, but you’re still taking jobs in the Commonwealth. That isn’t going to work for us.”

MacCready was quickly losing his patience. They were getting on his last nerves, so he tried to get on theirs, “In case you forgot, I don’t take orders from you… not anymore. So why don’t you take your girlfriend, and walk out of here while you still can.”

That managed to rile Barnes up, who had otherwise been silent the whole time. “What?! Winlock, tell me we don’t have to listen to this shit,” he said angrily.

Winlock’s attitude changed from smug to pissed. “Listen up, MacCready,” he said threateningly, “the only reason we haven’t filled your body full of bullets is that we don’t want a war with Goodneighbor. See, we respect other people’s boundaries… we know how to play the game. It’s something you never learned.”

“Glad to have disappointed you,” MacCready said sarcastically.

Winlock scoffed, “You can play the tough guy all you want. But if we hear you’re still operating in Gunner territory all bets are off.”

“You finished?”

“Yeah… we’re finished. Come on, Barnes.”

As they left the room the girl, who MacCready had almost forgotten about, watched them warily. MacCready eyed her. Although she was not wearing the trademark jumpsuit, everything about her screamed vault dweller. From the nervous look on her face to the pip-boy strapped to her arm. From what he could see she lacked any real scars, and the damage she had was recent. She was also paler than almost anyone he had ever seen showing a lack of sun exposure. Her chin length red hair was neater than the average wastelander. Although her short height did not help her look older, she had to be somewhere around his own age, making her lack of scars all the more telling. He wondered what could drive her from her vault to look for help in a bar. The only one he heard of in the Commonwealth that still had people in it was 81. The vault that apparently had no experiment.

“Look lady,” he said, bringing her attention to him, “if you’re preachin’ about the Atom, or lookin’ for a friend, you’ve got the wrong guy. If you need a hired gun… then maybe we can talk.”

“It’s a good thing I do then… but who were they?”

Her voice caught him off guard. It was far lower and slightly raspier than he had been expecting, and even more shocking to him, it practically oozed confidence.

“Just some moron Gunners. Idiots couldn’t hit a squirrel with a rocket launcher. Nothin’ you need to worry about. What about you? How do I know takin’ your offer won’t come back to bite me?”

She did not answer his question. Instead she asked, “Do you take long term jobs?”

The longer she stood there the more intrigued he became. What the hell is she planning? He replied, “Depends. How long the job is, compensation, and what the job is all matter.” He tried to not be too picky about jobs, but some were not worth it. Especially the longer ones.

She nodded, “I… I lead a rather dangerous life. I need someone who can watch my back, and is willing to go take down raiders, Gunners, and anything else I’m sent to take care of. I’m also… I guess you could say new to the area, so I don’t really know my way around.”

Although it was nice to know what he was going to have to do, her description of the job just raised more questions. Was she also a mercenary? Who was sending her to do this stuff? Who was she?

She continued, “As for compensation… I’ll pay for all your ammo, food, water, alcohol when clean water isn’t available, and medical supplies. Any loot we find and payment we receive will be split equally. Along with any initial payment you request.”

The more she talked the more confused he became. So far it was a hell of an offer, but he wanted to know why she wanted his help so badly. The way she spoke also confused him. The way she worded things made her sound like some pre-war holotapes he had found once.

“As for time… I don’t know how long the job will last, just that it will be a long time. You can leave whenever you want though,” she finished.

This was probably the best offer he had ever gotten. He normally did not try to care about the boss’s personal life or who they were, as long as they were not a raider boss. He had some standards. This girl though was just so damn enigmatic, too much for his liking.

“That’s a heck of an offer, but I’ve gotta make sure it’s not too good to be true, so I’ve gotta ask. Who are you exactly?”

Her back straightened, shoulders went back, and she held her a head a little higher. A pose of confidence. “Claudia Flynn. General of the Minutemen… and survivor of Vault 111.”

He had assumed she was a vault dweller from the get go, so that did not surprise him. He did not recognize the number, though, which concerned him a little if he was being honest. Dwellers could be down right insane at times. He decided not to ask about it. Instead he focused on the fact that she claimed to be the general of the Minutemen.

“Minutemen? I thought you guys were destroyed in Quincy.”

“We’re rebuilding,” she said simply.

“But what’s the general doin’ hiring a merc?”

“There aren’t very many of us right now, and I want to help as much as possible, but I’m sure you know it isn’t exactly safe to travel alone. I will also have to… deal with more… personal matters. I don’t want to use Minutemen resources where they aren’t needed. Especially now,” she explained.

That was the first time she had said something that actually answered more questions than created them, although the "personal matters" were cause for some. He mulled over all the information or a moment. He'd taken far, far worse jobs. He’d be crazy to not act on the offer, even if it meant being more altruistic than he was used to. If she wanted to spend all her caps on him, who was he to say no? Besides if she really was the general of the Minutemen it would be a great way to get back at the Gunners for harassing him so damn much. And maybe, just maybe he could get her to…. He cleared the thought from his head before it gave him too much hope.

“Alright, hotshot. Sounds like a good deal, so if you pay the hiring price, you’ve got a new gun on your side.”

“How much?”

“Two-hundred fifty caps. No room for bargainin’.”

“Fair enough,” she said before setting her pack down on one of the ratty couches. She produced three leather pouches, two larger and one smaller. As she handed them over she said, “One hundred each in the bigger ones. Fifty in the smaller one.”

He held the bags in his hands for a moment, and looked at her before saying, “You just bought yourself an extra gun. Where to first boss?”

She started fiddling with her pip-boy before she said anything. He had always wondered just how useful those things were. She held out her arm when she was done, so he could see the map depicted on the small screen.

“We need to get to here,” she said, indicating the marker on the coast, “Can you get us there?”

“Shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Alright,” she said. A look of determination and confidence took over her face. “Is there a hotel or something here? We should rest before we head out.”

He was taken aback by her liberal uses of "we" and "us." Usually there was a strict dichotomy of "you" and "me." Maybe it was just the Minuteman in her.

“There’s the Hotel Rexford. Not great, but it beats sleeping on the street by a long shot.”

“Then we’ll stay there for the night, and head out in the morning.”

“Whatever you say boss,” he said. He tried to hide his excitement, but it had been a while since he had slept somewhere other than the back room of the Third Rail for a while. He was eager to see his new boss act on her promise of free boarding.

***

The next morning he met his boss in the lobby of the hotel. She had paid for two separate rooms, allowing him to have more privacy than he had had in a while. He used it to sleep as peacefully as one could in Goodneighbor.

He walked up to her as she messed with her pip-boy. Now that he could see her in proper lighting, instead of the neon red at the bar, it was even more apparent she was not some random wastelander. Her face, neck and hands had minimal grime on them. She had a few blemishes here and there, but they were hardly noticeable. She lacked the gauntness and weariness that everyone seemed to have. She was so focused on what she was doing that she did not seem to notice him until he said something.

“Boss,” he greeted.

“Hm? Oh MacCready!” she said, finally looking up from her arm.

“Don’t tell me you forgot about me,” he joked. Well, he hoped it came across a joke. When it came down to it he did not care whether his bosses liked him or not, but it certainly did not hurt if they did.

Luckily for him, she smiled. He tried not to stare, but he could not help it. They were not perfect by any means, but she had the straightest, whitest teeth he had ever seen.

He knew that vaults could be some of the most terrifying places in the world. Having grown up just outside of Vault 87 solidified that knowledge. But he wondered what could have driven her away from her own. She looked healthier than anyone he had seen, so there must have been some sort of luxury there.

Her voice shook him from his thoughts, “Ready to go?”

“Whenever you are, boss.”

As they made their way through Goodneighbor she asked, “Do you want to stock up on anything before we leave?”

He did not hesitate to take her up on her offer. "Could always use more ammo."

"Anything else?" she asked, friendlier than he was used to and that he liked.

Must be the first time she's ever hired a merc, he thought to himself. Her friendliness was better than the way he has been treated by other people, but he had found that when people you did not know well were this nice to you they were up to no good. Then again who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Nothing else that I can get here," he said.

"What kind of ammo do you use?"

".308."

He watched her as she walked up to trade with KL-E-0. The boss had a funny look on her face when she introduced herself. When she was done with the trade she handed him one of the boxes of ammo. His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"How many caps do you have?" he half whispered. Bullets were not cheap.

"Doesn't matter. Besides I didn't just pay with caps. Threw some .38s in there too."

He decided not to press the matter further. If she was loaded and knew how to barter, he was not going to complain.

When they finally left Goodneighbor he took point, remembering part of his job was guiding her through the ruins. It felt odd taking point, since he was a sniper. He was used to hanging back, not leading the charge.

It was not long before they encountered a small pack of mongrels. Normally he would just try to skirt around them, not wanting to waste his ammunition on them, but that was not the case this time. His strong suit was long range, but he was still decent in close quarters. The boss on the other hand seemed to have no issue fighting so close. She took them down quickly and easily, despite the frown she wore as she did so. MacCready was not an easy person to impress, but she got pretty damn close.

He led them to the docks. He hated the ocean, but it was safer to travel along the water than to try to navigate the city.

They were quiet as they walked. Realization struck him. He had no idea what they were up to.

“So, why exactly are we heading to South Boston?” he asked. It was common knowledge that there was nothing but trouble there. It did not help that the only settlement that was there had been rumored to be wiped out by institute synths. When it came to threats, he took them very seriously, no matter how far fetched it seemed. He had learned that the hard way.

“I… I didn’t tell you, did I?” She sighed in frustration, seemingly towards herself, “We’re heading to what… my second in command called The Castle. Apparently it used to be the old headquarters. We’re going to take it back.”

He simply nodded. He noticed how her voice kept trailing off, like she was unsure or lost in thought. He tried to not put too much thought into it. It was best to not to get too invested in who the boss was. No matter how interesting a person they seemed to be. All he needed was the basic information to make sure he was not risking too much.

When they got to the end of the dock she stopped, and stared into the distance. She checked her pip-boy, then turned to MacCready, and asked, “Can I borrow your binoculars?”

“Sure, boss,” he said, handing them over.

When she was done she handed them back and pointed towards a squat, grey building, barely visible in the mist. She said, “You see that, in the distance?”

“Yeah,” he said, holding the binoculars up to his own eyes.

“Pretty sure that’s where we need to go,” she said.

They weaved their way through the buildings. Here following the water line would take too much time, and he had heard rumors of ferals infesting the factories in the area. They managed to avoid the raider camps. Their spotlights acted more like beacons, signaling to stay away.

He stopped in his tracks when a horrendous smell hit his nose. It was the smell of decaying flesh that had been sitting in the sun. He signaled to the boss to stop. She gave him a quizzical look as he brought up his rifle. He looked through the scope, and found the source of the smell. Super mutants, and their disgusting bags of meat.

“What’s wrong?” she asked in a low voice.

“Super mutants.”

“What’s a super mutant?”

He turned to look at her like she had just insisted the sky was neon pink. “What the fu- what do you mean, ‘what’s a super mutant?’” he asked. He knew vault dwellers were sheltered, literally, but surely they knew a super mutant was.

“I mean that I don’t know what it is,” she explained.

“How do you not know what they are?”

"No one's told me," she shrugged.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Her friendliness had been one thing, not knowing basic knowledge was another. He began to wonder just how naive she was. He reminded himself of all the benefits of the job before he said anything else.

“They’re big, green, dumb, and ugly. And very dangerous,” he explained he sounded harsher than he had intended, but he did not care at the moment.

“That’s what they’re called?” she gasped.

Ok, so she isn’t totally fucking clueless, he thought. MacCready could be surprisingly patient, he was a sniper after all. The majority of his time spent sniping was waiting. But he had very little patience when it came to a lack of basic knowledge. For adults anyhow. He could understand a five-year-old not knowing everything about the wastes, children required patience, but an adult? Even if she was a vault dweller he felt like she should know the very basics. Fuck, am I in for a long ride, he thought.

He looked around them for a route that would not bring them too close to the mutants. He spotted a path that strayed away from them, but would wind up bringing them awfully close to a raider camp. He would rather deal with raiders than mutants any day.

“Follow me,” he whispered, “we’re gonna have to deal with some raiders, but it’ll be an easier fight.”

“Don’t need to convince me,” she said.

Together they quietly made their way closer and closer to the raider camp. It was still early in the day, but the raiders were already drunk and high off their asses. Better for them.

Just as he had suspected they noticed them, but before they could do anything the boss reacted like lightning.

“Cover me!” she ordered over her shoulder. She shot down one raider before she slammed the butt of her gun into the next one’s face. She ducked and dodged the one with a switchblade. The two of them took down the camp in no time. The fight against the mongrels had been one thing, the way she handled the raiders was something else.

He watched her as she patted down their bodies looking for loot. She handed him exactly half of the caps, stimpaks, and radiation medications she found.

“You weren’t fu-kidding about splitting everything equally,” he laughed.

“I mean what I say,” she shrugged, “let’s get going if there’s nothing you want.”

“Let’s get goin’ then, boss,” he said, leading the way.

When they got to the road that led right up to The Castle a man standing outside an old diner on the side called to the boss.

“General Flynn! Over here!” he called.

“Hey, Garvey!” she called back as she walked toward the diner.

Inside they were greeted by three more people. The man who had greeted the boss, Garvey, said, “Everyone’s here, General.”

He fought himself to keep his mouth shut. They were only going to attack this place with six people? Were they joking?

”This is Scott McNiall, Serena Martinelli, and Leon Whittle,” Garvey said introducing them, “Everyone this is General Claudia Flynn, and…”

“This is MacCready, he’s a mercenary I hired along the way. I don’t want to spread resources too thin,” she said.

“I see,” he responded, clearly not particularly happy about the decision, but he did not say anything more about it. Instead he turned around towards the stone building.

“Impressive isn’t it? It’s real name is Fort Independence, but the Minutemen always just called it the Castle. Now you can see why I wanted to take it back.”

“Definitely. For a six hundred year old, Revolutionary era fort, it’s in pretty good shape.”

How does she know what this place is? MacCready thought. He tuned back into the conversation just in time for him to hear the boss decide on a plan.

“Let’s split up and flank them.”

“Alright then. Let’s go. Try not to draw their attention until we’re in position.”

As they took their positions the boss turned to him. She asked, “So, what do you think?”

MacCready raised an eyebrow at her. A boss had never asked what his thoughts were on the job. He usually had to interject if he wanted them to know what he thought. The most anyone ever really asked was if he could do the job.

“Why do you care?”

“Uhh… because you’re a person? A person I’m asking to fight with me?” she said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You aren’t asking me to fight, you’re paying me to fight,” he corrected.

“Still a person. And given that we’re going to be traveling together, I need to make sure you’re doing alright. Can’t do your job if you aren’t focused.”

He sighed, “Fine. Even though this place could use some work, it’s a pretty good lookin’ stronghold. Better in the hands of the Minutemen, than raiders or Gunners. Anything else you wanted?”

He winced internally. He had not meant to sound that harsh.

She rolled her eyes, and shook her head with an incredulous smile. He was surprised that she took it so well.

They settled into their positions. MacCready, the boss, and Garvey took the main gate, while the other three waited for a signal. Once the fighting began, it did not take very long. Mirelurks had tough shells, but with good enough aim and some distance they were ridiculously easy to take care of. When all that was left in the courtyard was their eggs, the group headed in.

“Ya know, it would have been nice to know how big those things are,” the boss said.

“Crabs weren’t that big?” Garvey asked, a little shocked.

She shook her head no.

Before he could ask what that meant, he changed the subject, “Damn. Looks like they’ve been nesting.”

McNiall chimed in, “‘Lurks like to hide in old buildings. Walls are probably full of ‘em.”

The boss nodded thoughtfully. She looked at the group before turning to MacCready, and asking, “You any good with a pistol?”

“Better with my rifle, but yeah. Why?”

“MacCready, Major Garvey, and I will clear out the walls. The rest of you take care of the nests and any remaining Mirelurks,” she said handing him her pistol. Her orders were met with a chorus of ‘yes ma'ams’.

She took her shotgun from it’s handmade holster on her back, and headed towards the building. The two men followed closely behind. Lucky for them it was mostly softshells and hatchlings inside the walls. They were easier to take down than the average mirelurk. When they reached the old general’s quarters they were not only met with what ended up being a face full of mirelurk slime, but also a missile launcher.

MacCready let out a low wolf whistle as she picked it up.

“Now look at this beauty,” he said.

She looked at Garvey with confusion. “How did they lose this place when they had this thing, and all these missiles?”

“Beats me. Like I said. They lost this place before my time.”

Just then the ground shook with a loud rumbling. The Minutemen outside started yelling.

“The hell…” she wondered out loud.

One of the Minutemen yelled for them to come see whatever was causing the chaos, and the boss took off like a rocket, missile launcher in hand. He and Garvey quickly followed suit. MacCready grabbed some extra missiles before leaving, just to be safe.

Outside they were met by what could only be a mirelurk queen rising out of the water and over the rubble. He had never seen one before, but he had heard about them. It was one of the most terrifying things he had ever seen, and that was saying something. It was only slightly shorter than the intact walls of the fort. It made a god awful clicking noise as acid spewed from its mouth. He was almost completely paralyzed with fear, though he would never admit it.

The boss on the other hand had more resolve. She shouted at everyone to get out of the way as she took aim with the launcher. The first missile did decent damage, it only caused the monster of a creature to recoil. The second missile caused it to go careening back into the water where it came from.

He looked at her in amazement as the others whooped and hollered around them. She stood there with a fire in her eyes as she spoke to them. It took a lot to impress him, but this certainly did the trick. After a show like that he was more willing to put up with her lack of knowledge of the world. Not many people could hold their own in a fight like that, and traveling with someone like that was worth most downsides, even if that downside meant there was a long road ahead.

Chapter 1 Read it on ao3

[lovemesomesurveys]

Don’t you just love the smell of Hollister and Abercrombie and Fitch? I actually did used to like it. 

When a bee is coming close to you, do you stand still or run away? I back away somewhat quickly, but try not to make a big show of it because I know it’s advised to be calm, but I see a bee and I freak. 

Are you self conscious about wearing a bathing suit? Absolutely, so I don’t wear one. 

Do you make reminders for important things you need to remember? Yeah, I make great use of the calendar, notes, and reminder apps on my phone.

If you had to play one sport for a living, what would it be? Gah, that would not work for me. I’m not athletic at all and I have zero interest in sports.

Was the last person you texted single? No, he’s with my mom.

Do you get jealous easily? No. I haven’t felt jealous in a long time.  What are you currently waiting for? Nothing at the moment.

Do you think more about the past, present, or future? I dwell in the past too much and I’m always stressing and worrying about present stuff. 

Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now? No.

Who were the last people you saw besides family? Other patients at my doctor’s office, the receptionist, the nurses, and my doctor.

Which of your friends lives closest to you? No friends.

How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper? I like it.

Do you ever work out? No. I should be lifting a light weight at least everyday. My upper body strength is so bad now.

Do you go to the tanning bed on a regular basis? I’ve never been to a tanning salon and have no interest in doing so.

Does your bedroom need cleaning? I need to organize some stuff and put some things away.

Vanilla or chocolate? Vanilla.

Pretty Woman or Sixteen Candles? Sixteen Candles.

Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex? My dad and brother.

Are you comfortable with your height? I wish I was a little taller. 

Anything on your walls? Yeah, a few giraffe paintings, a a couple beach ones, a couple calendars, a bulletin board, a marker board, and a huge Swedish flag.

What do you bite more, your tongue, lip, or cheek? I’m constantly biting and picking at my lips. :/

What was the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

Do you have a box where you keep all your important things? I have boxes and drawers with stuff like that. 

How many times have you dyed your hair? Numerous times since I was 13.

Are any of your friends taller than you? Everyone is taller than me except for small children. 

Ever liked someone whose name started with a B? I don’t think so.

Have you ever been on a motorcycle? I’ve ridden on the back of one with my dad when I was a kid.

Do you have feelings for anyone? Not the romantic kind.

Name something great that happened today: It’s only 530AM, nothing much has happened. 

How did you feel when you woke up today? I haven’t gone to bed yet, but I’m willing to bet I’ll wake up feeling like a zombie like I always do.

Do you use Twitter? I do.

What did you have for dinner yesterday? Wingstop.

What kind of position are you in at the moment? I’m sitting on my bed.

Furthest away from home you have ever been? When I went to Atlanta, Georgia.

What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing? I’m wearing blue Adidas leggings. 

When was the last time you drank water? Like an hour ago.

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? No.

Do you answer the phones at your job? I don’t have a job.

What’s your ring tone? One of the ones that come with the phone.

What were you doing at 12 AM last night? I was doing surveys.

Do you want to fix anything with anyone? Not at this time.

Do you have trust issues? No really. I have a hard time with expressing myself and opening up to others, but it’s not so much a matter of trust.

Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Are you going to have a good night? My night has been okay.

Have you ever given up on someone and then went back to them? Yes.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? Well no, cause I don’t even go to bed until like 7 or 8AM.

What shows do you watch? I watch a lot of different shows.

What’s wrong with you right now? Just blah as usual.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Absolutely. 

What’s your relationship with the person you last texted? He’s my dad.

Are you looking forward to anything? No.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? My first ex told me I did.

Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Yes.

Does anyone disgust you? Myself.

Did you enjoy your weekend? It’s just starting.

Have you argued with anyone today? No.

Your enemy is at your doorstep begging for forgiveness, what would you do? I don’t have any enemies, thankfully.

Has someone had their arms around you in the past 7 days? To give me a hug, yeah.

Dare you to detail why you kissed the last person you kissed? We just wanted to? I never understand this question.

Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to? One of my biggest fears is my loved ones passing away. Which is obviously inevitable, but still. 

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I don’t remember. My mind wanders off and thinks about random things.

When’s the last time you had a headache? A few days ago.

Is anyone else in the room with you? Nope.

Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone? My mom.

Does anyone call you babe? No.

Is there anything you are craving right now? Not at this moment.

What was the first thing you thought of this morning? I haven’t gone to bed yet, but I always check the time when I first get up.

Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life? I am appreciative of the good things, but there’s so much I’d like to change and I’m unhappy with. 

What were you doing at 7:00 AM? It’s 5:56AM, so I’m sure I’ll still be awake in like an hour. Sigh.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Like 4ish. 

Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes.

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them? Uhh, countless times. How do you even count that? Not to mention, he was always making me laugh.

How do you feel about your hair right now? I hate it. It needs to be dyed so bad, it could use a trim, and a style would be nice. I don’t do anything with it besides throw it up in a messy bun. 

When you were in elementary school, did you change best friends a lot? Yeah. When I was a kid “best friend” was a term thrown around quite loosely.  

Last thing you touched not computer-related? My phone.

Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? No.

Does the song you’re currently listening to remind you of anyone specific? I’m not listening to music.

Who was the last person to give you a ride somewhere? My mom.

When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? A few weeks ago in the car.

Have you ever been scolded by a mall cop? No.

How often do you catch yourself daydreaming? A lot.

What’s your favorite thing to think about as you’re falling asleep? I don’t get much say in that.

Is there anything that you want to do, but won’t because you’re too afraid? There’s a lot of things.

Who gets up the earliest in your household? The latest? My dad gets up the earliest. He’s off on the weekends and he still gets up at like 5AM for some reason. The latest is definitely me. 

Have you ever had a pet walk across your keyboard while you were typing? No, my doggos have always been too big to do that.

You’re going to your favorite foreign country; what landmarks do you go see? I just want to see everything and really experience Sweden.

What is the longest amount of time that you have spent away from your home? A few months during hospital stays.

Did the last movie you watched have any emotional effect on you? No.

What motivates you to go to school? I’m done with school, thankfully. I’ve been so unmotivated and without energy the past few years and I’m glad I finished school before that happened and I sunk into the hole I’ve been stuck in.

Are you more hyper and uptight, or laid back and relaxed? I’m never hyper and I definitely haven’t felt relaxed in a long time. I think to some people I’d appear laid back, but oh boy if they only knew. And honestly what appears be laid is me just feeling... flat. 

When was the last time you heard someone talking about you? I don’t know.

How did you pick out your last outfit? I just grabbed whatever.

When buying shoes, what do you look for in the product? For me it’s just about how they look. Comfort isn’t a factor for me as someone who has no feeling in their legs and feet. 

What happened to cause the last mess you made? I let some stuff build up. 

Are you embarrassed to bring people into your bedroom? I would be right now.

When was the last children’s birthday party you attended? A few years ago for one of my cousins. 

Are you good at reading other people’s body language? I think I am.

If you’re sick, do you go to school or do you stay home (usually)? I’m not in school anymore, but I mean for me it depended on how sick I felt. Of course now in the days of COVID you’re advised to stay home if you feel sick at all. Most schools, at least where I am, are all on Zoom now anyway, though.

Does chicken noodle soup really make you feel any better? I don’t feel it ever did anything for me.

What is one meal that you like to eat whilst sick? If I’m sick I usually don’t have much of an appetite, if one at all depending on how sick I am. I don’t eat much, but I’ll try to eat a little at least of something.

Think of the last survey you filled out; did you enjoy it? Sure.

Have you ever fed bread to ducks or geese? I did when I was a kid. I didn’t know you shouldn’t do that at the time.

Is it hard to imagine you were ever as small as a 1-2 year old? Yeah, that is weird to think about.

What set the tone for your mood today? It’s 6:22AM and right now I just feel tired.

Have you ever set out to ruin someone else’s day? No, that’s definitely not something I’d want to do.

The name of the last board game that you played? I don’t remember.

What was the last thing that you told yourself? That I would try to go to sleep a little earlier. ha.

Do you remember your D.A.R.E. officer’s name? I actually do.

Someone throws hot coffee on you; how do you react? Uh, wtf? Firstly, I’d react to the HOT coffee that I had thrown at me. That would be excruciatingly painful. I’ve accidentally spilled really hot coffee on myself before so I would know. So yeah, I’d feel the pain and shock from that and then I’d just be like wtf??? I’d be so confused and upset and most of all, furious. 

Is there a high school or college that you would rather be attending? I graduated college, I’m doneee.

Have you ever lived in an apartment or duplex home? A duplex.

Has anyone ever commented on your weight? Yes, I get comments a lot about how I’m too thin.

Where do you stand when it comes to sexual intercourse? Well, I’m a virgin, so.

Name a show from the 90’s that you miss? I still watch a lot of them to be honest.

Have you ever thought about joining the military? No. I couldn’t anyway even if I wanted to because of my physical disability.

When you were little, did you ever stare at disabled or “different” people? I was and am a disabled person and I’ve had to deal with people staring all my life because I’m in a wheelchair and hear kids ask their parents, “what’s wrong with her?”

Could the contents of your bedroom get you in any trouble? No.

Do weather patterns sometimes have an effect on your health? The heat definitely does. Ugh, I hate the summer. I do not do well with the heat.

If it snows a lot where you live, do you experience cabin fever? It doesn’t snow here. :(

How good are you at getting along with other people? I don’t have a problem with getting along with others.

Have you ever felt like you were going out of your mind? Oh yes.

Has anyone ever suggested that you might need “help”? Yes. And I agree. 

How do you respond to cheesy pick-up lines? No one has used a cheesy pickup line on me.

How was the service at the last restaurant you visited? I’m gonna answer this with takeout because ever since the pandemic hit last year I haven’t gone out to eat anywhere, but I get takeout all the time. Anyway, last night I got Wingstop and my brother realized when he got home they gave him the wrong order, so he had to drive back and it’s like a 15 minute drive there and back on the highway, so it’s not a quick, easy trip. He gets back and I realize they forgot my extra side of the lemon pepper sauce that I like to get, which wasn’t as big of a deal of course, but still annoying. I didn’t say anything about a small thing like that, but I was just annoyed with the whole situation and that I didn’t have that extra side of sauce to dip my wings in. It adds to what makes it good, ya know? I like my ranch and my extra sauce. I would have been even more upset if they forgot the ranch because their ranch is the best.

Are you ever jealous of happy couples? I feel a little envious sometimes cause I’d like to experience that. 

Describe a thought that is sticking with you today? My mind is a jumbled mess.

Lately, who has spent the most time on your mind? No one in particular. I’m more occupied with thoughts of things I’m dealing with, things I’m feeling, and things that are going on.

In a car: air conditioning, or roll the windows down? AC, for sure. Especially during the summer when it’s hot and miserable because rolling the windows down doesn’t do shit.

When was the last time you did anything to your playlist? I added songs to it like a month ago.

Is there a new song or band you’ve discovered? Not recently. I haven’t been listening to music recently.

What teacher gives you the most homework? --

Are you punctual? Yes. I hate being late.

Have you ever howled at the full moon? Uh, no.

Do you give any consideration to what’s said in your horoscope? I don’t even read it. I don’t believe in astrology.

[purplesurveys]

1128

[created by: pinkchocolate]

When was the last time you were surprised, in a pleasant way? Wednesday when Bea had food delivered to my house. One of our clients was hosting a roundtable session and our task was to order food to be delivered to the attendees’ house, and it turns out she snuck in an order for me as well. 

It was super touching and I tried to do a nice deed yesterday by getting food for her as well; but as I mentioned on my previous survey, I got paired with a scammer delivery guy instead who ended up stealing my order...that I already paid for... :( It was such a flop and I ended up having to give away the surprise to Bea since I had to check if she received it, and that’s when I learned she never got anything. I’ll try again next week or whenever I get my money refunded, hahaha.

What color was the last fruit or vegetable that you ate? Green (green onion).

Is there a compliment you've received, that sticks in your mind? I like it whenever I’m told I write well, since that’s my main talent and it’s always nice to be complimented on my skills.

The last time you received a gift, what did the wrapping paper look like? I have no idea but probably red/green and holiday-themed since it most likely had been a Christmas gift.

What was the last book you read? Did you enjoy it? Not reading anything.

If so, what did you specifically like about it?

Anyone you haven't talked to in a while, that you'd like to hear from? Not really. It’d be cool to hang out with Sofie again because I haven’t seen her since our little trip to Nasugbu, but I’m not necessarily waiting on a message from them.

When you were a kid, did you own any accessories with your name on? Probably a bracelet.

Do you own any items of clothing that you haven't yet worn? Yup. I got a yellow romper from one of my aunts for Christmas, but I haven’t had the chance to wear it yet. It’s short and airy, so I’ll probably pull it out once the climate gets warmer again.

Were you awake before 8am today? Yeah, I got up at 4:30 earlier even though I fell asleep at like midnight. I think my body understands that my brain wants me to get as little sleep as possible during weekends so I can maximize my free time, so it woke me up by then.

Is there any food in your house at the moment, that you're looking forward to eating? I still have some of the chicken wings that Bea ordered for me. She got such a huge order and it’s taking me forever to finish the damn box of wings lol.

Is there anyone you know who dislikes the Internet, technology etc.? My grandma refuses to learn how to use a phone or laptop. Which confuses me because usually she’ll ask my mom to relay a message to one of her friends who are on Facebook, and my mom ends up playing messenger. Like pls just get at least a Facebook account if you want to keep keeping in touch with your acquaintances anyway :(((

Name any item in your bedroom that is blue. Trying to remember what’s in my room since I’m currently staying in the living room...and I think I have push pins that are blue.

Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Rocky road and Double Dutch. Marshmallows and/or nuts in my ice cream is a big nope.

Are there any cat cafes in your hometown? There could be but I’ve heard little of them. I’m more aware of existing dog cafes.

Do you own any books with an image of a cat on the front cover? I doubt it.

Does anything you own have an image of a bird on it? It’s possible, but again I’m not in my room to check if that’s the case.

Do you know anyone named Abigail? Yes, my mom.

Do you ever use flavored lip balms? I don’t use lip balms at all.

^ If you do, what flavors do you like the most? Kate once had a peanut butter lip scrub that I loooooved to borrow. Other than that, the strawberry ones are nice too.

Does anyone you know own a spaniel? How about an Irish setter? My great-aunt once had a spaniel. Not sure about Irish setters.

What are your plans for the remainder of today? I wanna eat at La Creperie and spoil myself a litle bit, but we’ll see if I’ll have the energy to drive to the mall today. I’ll also have some work to do since we have a presentation on Monday :(

--

[created by: pinkchocolate]

Have you met somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with? Yeah, ideally that would’ve been the case but they thought differently. I admittedly still feel the same, but I’ve also since been able to move on and move forward. If that makes sense.

Who was your closest friend when you were 7 years old? Do you still speak to that person? I actually met Angela when we were 7. And yes, we’re still the best of friends. I just shot a birthday greeting video for her mom last night.

Who was the last male you talked to? Does he have facial hair? Technically it was Cooper, but the last male person had been my dad. He does but for the most part he keeps it to a stubble.

How many times does the letter 'R' occur in your full name? Twice; in my first name and in my surname.

Is there anyone you love, whose name starts with 'S'? Sure, I can think of a couple of relatives whose names start with S.

What color is your TV remote? I haven’t used a remote in ages lmao, but if I remember correctly ours is mainly black.

When was the last time you went to a wedding? Who got married? 2007. My uncle and his then-girlfriend, who of course became my aunt when they wed. We’ve since had relatives who got married after that period, but for all those occasions only my parents received an invitation. It’s understandable though, I know they want to save up on costs and stuff.

Name a band you like, that starts with the 2nd letter of your name. One Direction is the only group coming to mind.

Have you ever dressed up as a Disney character? Which one? My 7th birthday gown was inspired by Cinderella’s, but it wasn’t the same exact dress as it was orange.

Have you ever played chess? If so, are you good at it? No. I’ve never been able to understand the rules.

If I wanted to buy you a chocolate bar, what kind should I NOT get? Mr. Goodbar has always been the least exciting chocolate to get hahaha.

Of all your close friends, who have you known the longest? Angela.

Do you own anything that has an image of a butterfly on it? Again, I could. I can’t think of any particular item, though.

Has anyone told you recently that they miss you? Yes, orgmates for the most part.

What was the last song you heard, that made you feel emotional? HYD by Hayley Williams.

What color are the socks you're currently wearing? I’m not wearing any socks right now. < Me neither.

How many friends do you have whose name starts with the letter 'R'? Just Rita.

How many vowels are there in your first name? One. Two if you count y.

When was the last time you took a selfie? Last Saturday, I think.

Name someone you know who has curly hair. Andi.

Have you ever worn orange eye-shadow? Never tried.

Name a song that reminds you of someone close to you. Be Alright by Dean Lewis.

Has anyone ever walked out of your life with no explanation? Yeah but they tried very poorly to keep in touch. It ended up being detrimental to me more than anything else so I took the initiative to be one step ahead and cut ties altogether.

Do you know anyone else with the same first name as you? I can think of one Robyn and one Robin.

Think back to 10 years ago. What TV show(s) were you into? Wrestling programs were all I watched as a 13 year old.

Do you have a favorite T-shirt? What color is it? Yes, one of my wrestling shirts. It’s predominantly white but it has some black and red on it as well.

As a child, did you ever have any scented gel pens or markers? Yessssssss. I spent more time sniffing them than writing with them too, lol.

Name an alcoholic beverage that you dislike. I find whiskey pretty nasty. I hate beer as well but sometimes I gotta drink it, especially when socializing.

Do you own anything that previously belonged to someone else? I wouldn’t say I own them; they do belong to the original owner and I’m just still borrowing them.

Who is the 8th contact in your phone? How did you meet them? That would be Angela haha; we met when we got assigned to be seatmates in 1st grade since our surnames were arranged alphabetically in class.

Is there anyone who sends you messages to say good morning/night? No.

Can you recall the last time you were on a dance floor? March 2020, at a club with mostly Hans’s friends.

Have you ever let someone go, and then regretted it? No.

Do you own any color changing mood jewelry? Nope and I don’t believe in those either so I don’t see a reason why I should get my own.

--

[created by: pinkchocolate]

Was there anything that you planned to do today, but didn't? It’s only 7:06 AM so I’ll refer to my plans yesterday instead – I wanted to continue working on a Google Slides presentation by nighttime, but I was so tired from my shift yesterday and even got a migraine that I never got around to it. I’ll have to work on it this weekend instead.

Is there anyone you interact with often on social media but not in person? I mean, hasn’t this been the case over the last year with the pandemic? I communicate mainly through social media now, if not through IM apps like Viber.

What color box does your favorite cereal come in? Don’t really like cereal. The closest thing I have to a ‘favorite,’ Cookie Crisps, comes in a white box, though.

Do you have any plates, dishes, mugs etc. with pretty illustrations on them? Nah, don’t really like printed stuff. Angela had a customized Friends-themed mug made for me but I wouldn’t call it an ~illustration, since the main design is just my name styled in the Friends logo.

Does anywhere on your body currently hurt, or feel sore? I actually took a break from this survey to take Cooper for a walk, and I think I can confirm that I definitely have some kind of allergy to grass. My legs were super irritated the whole time and my skin has since turned reddish.

What is your favorite snack to eat with a hot beverage? Croissants.

Is there any advice you have been given, that sticks in your mind? “Let your healing take time,” from Andi. He also accompanied it the advice with an anecdote about this basketball player who insisted on playing even while he was still dealing with an injury, and playing only aggravated that injury so he was forced to sit out for an even longer time than what was initially set for him. That was really helpful and I keep it close to me to this day.

What's the nicest advice you have ever been given about love/relationships? Know when it’s enough and when to leave, and be kind to yourself.

Do you own any adult coloring books? What kind(s) do you like? Yeah, I have like three thick ones. I just haven’t gotten the chance to touch them because for the meantime I only have cheap coloring pencils that start to get dull after a few strokes. I’ve yet to buy a more premium set of pencils.

When was the last time you got some new headphones? Headphones would be 2013 when my dad got me a pair of Beats. Not a big user so I haven’t felt the need to get new ones.

Is there a lamp in your living room? What color is its shade? No but my mom has wanting to get one for a while. She just can’t seem to find one that she likes.

Do you know anyone whose name starts with the letter X? I went to high school with a Xenia. Super nice guy; we were close friends for a while since we were seatmates, and our friend groups also overlapped.

Have you eaten any rice or pasta today? Not yet. I will definitely be eating rice though, because Philippines.

Name a food that you dislike the texture of. I don’t like rice pudding at all, or oatmeal. But those are also taste issues as well as texture issues. < Oooh, oatmeal is a good one. I also could never enjoy marshmallows in my ice cream.

Which of your friends do you confide in the most? Angela.

Have you ever fallen out of love with someone? I wouldn’t say that. There will still always be a part of me that has some sort of feelings for my exes. But the extent to which I love them/care about them fades over time, thankfully. < Yeah, exactly.

^ If so, why do you think that happened?

If you have pets, do you talk to them? Sure.

Are there any TV shows that you strongly dislike, but others seem to love? I tried to get into Grey’s Anatomy or Glee on Netflix, because they were “popular”, but I tried a few episodes, and just couldn’t seem to get into them. < OMG same again, especially with Grey’s??? I tried watching it a couple of weeks ago but I noped out as soon as I heard how poppish the theme song was. I’ve always thought it was a serious drama show but it turned out to have so many teen show elements to it that I was definitely taken aback. The script and some of the acting also kind of sucked, so that was a letdown.

Is there anything you haven't done lately, that you'd like to do soon? Coloring.

Do you own any T-shirts with brand logos on them? Yes, my dad got me a Vegemite shirt from his last contract abroad hahah. He was staying in Australia and I asked him to get a jar of Vegemite so I can finally have a taste, but I think he was scared that I’d hate it and end up throwing out the whole jar so he just got me a shirt instead lol. I’ve also got a Nike shirt somewhere in my closet.

Have you experienced any kind of food cravings lately? Surprisingly not. I’ve been longing to eat at La Creperie again but I’m not craving for anything particular.

Have you watched or read the news today? I watch the news every weeknight since we have it on during dinner.

Describe the cover illustration of the book closest to you. Can’t see any books near me.

Are there any take-away or fast food places close to your house? There’s a McDonald’s literally beside our village, and beside it are a Shakey’s and a Dunkin’ Donuts. There’s also a Burger King right across. If you drive for like five more seconds, there’ll also be a Starbucks.

^ If so, do you ever order food from any of them? Only from Starbucks. I don’t really get fast food anymore.

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to? Nothing yet so far.

[smashjewels]

“You Don’t Have to be Afraid”

Hawks x Reader

Angst, fluff

Note: just a little oneshot self indulgent fic that I wrote a little while back :>

It was the early afternoon and your boyfriend, Keigo, was at work while you decided to take the day off. You went shopping because you needed to get some groceries and a new sketchbook after filling up your old one. That day you decided to wear your favorite outfit, a white shirt with black three-quarter sleeves tucked into a black suspender skirt. You walk into the store and pick up what you need, grabbing a few unhealthy things to snack on later as well. After spacing out a couple times while mindlessly looking through the isles, you make your final decision on snacks and move to go and pay for your items.

After paying and walking out of the store a sudden gust of wind hits and you feel your skirt lift, then a wave of dread hits you as you quickly hold your skirt down. Your skirt isn’t short, but sometimes your suspenders lift it up a little higher than you’d like it to be. Despite your outfit being modest, the fact you were wearing a skirt still had you self conscious of perverts. You shake off the feeling as best as you can and continue walking towards a small art supplies shop.

As you walk, that feeling is still there, you can’t help but feel as if all eyes are on you. Is your skirt too high? Are people looking? Can they see anything? Are you being a slut? You swallow nervously as your self consciousness mixes with your social anxiety, most of the time Keigo would help you in situations like these but he’s not here. You’re afraid. I still have to do this, it would be even more awkward if I just walk out immediately just to gain courage later and then come back… You tell yourself.

Looking down the isles admiring the expensive colored pencils and alcohol based markers, you eventually make it to the sketchbook section. After looking at a lot of the sketchbooks they had in store, debating whether you should get a different type this time or stick with the same kind of sketchbook, you eventually decide on one, picking up some watercolor paper too. Your nerves are still there so you take time to calm down and look at the different markers again. After deciding not to waste your money on the markers that you’re probably only going to use once, you walk to the counter and pay for your sketchbook and watercolor paper.

Okay, that went alright...I only stuttered a couple times while paying. As you walk out of the store you choose to just go home and wait for Keigo, but just as you turn to start walking you hear a boy, about early highschool age, say something you were always afraid of hearing,”slut.” It was a short interaction, but hearing that made your mind run circles. When you turn around you see him look back around after staring at you. Your tears well up and you start to feel sick, going home as quickly as you can while your toxic thoughts clog your mind. I should just stay home. I should’ve never come out. I shouldn’t wear things like this in public. Everyone was staring. I’m being indecent. I feel like a whore.

You scramble to unlock the door to your apartment as your vision is blurred from the tears, your eyes finding it hard to focus on anything. After going inside you put your bags on the counter and run to your room to change. You change into a pair of sweatpants, and while comfortable, it’s not quite the same as feeling cute in your favorite outfit. You cry some more while listening to music to try and calm down, your breathing out of control and your emotions even more unstable. The toxic thoughts didn’t leave and you eventually lost track of how long you’ve been crying.

An hour later and you’re still sobbing uncontrollably, but you hear your door open. “Dove! I’m home! I got off of work early so we could spend more time-” his words stopped as he heard your heavy breathing. He slowly opens the door to see you curled up into a ball on your shared bed, still hearing your sporadic breathing. “Dove? Are you okay?” he asks as you get out of your ball to hug him, burying your face into his neck. “Shh, just breathe slowly...everything is going to be okay…” as he rubs your back he notices that you’re not in your skirt that you had on this morning, then he realizes what happened.

You had vented to Keigo about how self conscious you were in skirts before, and he understands why you still wear them in public on occasion despite this. He knows that you do it for yourself. To feel nice and cute, and he loved the outfits too and would always encourage you. After comforting you for a bit more you calm down your breathing and he asks you,”You want to explain what happened?”

After taking a deep breath to prepare yourself, you start explaining,”I went out to shop on my own because I needed to pick up a couple things...everything went pretty well until I walked out of the first store and then a gust of wind blew, lifting my skirt a bit.” He just made sounds to assure you that he’s listening as you continued,”That’s when that feeling of dread hit me...I brushed it off just a bit until I made it to the second store, and after looking around I calmed down and eventually paid for my stuff…”

“I’m proud of you for going out on your own…” He told you.

“But when I walked out of the store I was about to walk home when this highschooler-” you pause for a second, bracing yourself,”...called me a slut.” You whisper the last part as your eyes start welling up again. “I- I felt so scared...a- and all that dread...and fear…” your sobs breaking your sentence.

“Shh, it’s all going to be okay…” He hugged you closer and enveloped you with his wings. It was like a world separate from everyone else, a world with just you and your boyfriend. You sobbed a little more and eventually calmed down and you rubbed your eyes. You were incredibly tired after crying for a couple hours straight and you were knocked out after you calmed down.

Once you woke up you rubbed your eyes and looked at the clock, it was about 10pm and you hadn’t eaten anything today. You walk to the kitchen to see Keigo sitting, just looking at his phone. When he saw you his face lit up and said,”Morning, sleepy head” with one of his beautiful smiles that never failed to get you smiling as well.

You smiled back at him and said,”Well, it’s not really morning, but I’m currently starving so I’m just gonna order take out or something real quick.”

“Oh wait- actually uh...I cooked for you” He looked at you with an awkward smile while saying it, which was out of character for your usually confident boyfriend. “I figured since we get takeout all the time...and neither of us can cook...I thought that...I could take a shot at it. I mean, I’m the #2 Pro Hero in Japan, I can follow some instructions.”

You laughed softly as he got some food out of the fridge and started heating it up. “Hm? Two plates? Ah- you haven’t eaten yet!”

“You really thought I was going to take a shot at cooking for the first time and not share it with the love of my life?”

“Well, I mean- It’s 10pm! You must be starving!”

“Well you must be too, so now we can just eat together!” He says as he takes the plate out of the microwave and puts them on the table.

“I know I’m being hypocritical, but you shouldn’t have waited for me...Kei you need to keep your eating schedule normal or else I’m going to worry about you…” You said, showing obvious concern.

“I love that you’re so concerned about me, but really, it’s just one postponed meal, nothing too bad. Plus, being able to share it with you makes me feel better than just getting takeout again while at work.”

“...I suppose it doesn’t hurt, but don’t make it a habit...please.”

“I won’t” He says as he gives you a reassuring smile. “Anyway, eat, you must be starving.”

You pick up a piece with your chopsticks, obviously Keigo made a chicken dish but it was grilled, so it was a nice change from the fried chicken you had twice every week. You plop it into your mouth with some rice as your face lights up. “Wow...Kei, this is delicious!” You say happily.

He starts laughing a little,”Aww your face lit up and it was so cute!”

Your face heats up a little, being easily flustered, Keigo loves complimenting you and teasing you,”Ah- shut up!”

You finish your meal and wash the dishes really quick, as you move to go to the bedroom, Keigo puts a hand on your shoulder. “Actually, you’re probably going to stay up all night since you just took that nap...so how about we have a movie night?”

You turn around and smile at him,”Yeah, let’s do that.”

The two of you grab a variety of pillows and blankets and make the sofa really comfy, you sit close together as Keigo wraps his arm against your waist and you lean into him, a blanket around you both and pillows all around you. He wraps you and him in his wings and you decide to watch all of the How to Train your Dragon movies. You relax and get comfy.

When the movie is about to start, you tell Keigo,”Thanks...I really needed this.”

“Anything for you, Dove”

You cuddled and laughed with him as you watched the movie, even singing “For the Dancing and the Dreaming” with him when the scene came on. Being less of a night owl than you, he fell asleep at the beginning of the third movie. But you were still there in your own private world, a place where you can relax. Where you don’t have to be scared. Where your amazing boyfriend made all the toxic thoughts go away. A place where you don’t have to be afraid.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Off Day: Eight

Breakfast was fun. You were very quiet and unobtrusively helpful, chipping in the kitchen. It’s sweet, watching you work with his ma, but he realizes what you’re doing. 

if you’re being helpful and most importantly quiet, it’s really likely no one is really going to notice you. Even if it’s just a handful of people. Still, his Ma is on her best behavior. She keeps up a running stream of chatter and doesn’t press on things that make you look uncomfortable to answer.

“I still can’t believe Jack and Judy let you run off to Vermont,” she said, taking a plate from your hand to dry and put away. 

You smile a little sadly, “I think,” you tell her, “Kaity is the reason they let me go. After my mom died and my dad went back to jail, she reminded them that there were worse things that could happen to me here.”

Winnifred stops and stares at you for just a moment and you sigh, “I didn’t stay in Vermont long. Just long enough to build a portfolio for school and then I got a bachelor’s in Art History and Design. Couldn’t get a job then fucked off with the Peace Corps. Once that Contract was out I took a job in Alaska, teaching. But I didn’t stay there long either. Kaity called me so. So I came home.”

She takes the pot you’re holding out and smiles a little, “Well,” she said finally, “I’m sure they’re glad you’re home.”

“Yeah,” you say quietly. Winnifred doesn’t say anything after that. She doesn’t miss the hurt look on your face. The overbright look in your eyes.

“How is Kaity doing?” she asked after a long moment.

“She has her good days and her bad days,” you answer. Bucky winces at the detached tone of your voice and he catches his mother’s eye, quietly pleading with her to back off of it for now. He’d already told her Hospice had been called in. That it wasn’t looking good. That you were clinging to the last fragile hope you had that there was a miracle out there somewhere for her, but every day that hope got more and more brittle.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” she said softly.

“I’ve called a few more doctors and sent her file,” you say taking a deep breath, “hopefully I hear back this week.”

“Ma,” Bucky said clearing his throat, “If you’re done putting my girl to work, I kinda want to take her out for a little while.”

Winnifred sighed, “Fine, Fine,” she groused, teasingly, “I suppose I can let you have her.”

Bucky smiled and kissed her cheek, “Thanks, ma. Breakfast was delicious.” She tugs on his ear, “Get a haircut,” she scolds, “And you take good care of her.”

“I’ll do my best,” he said kissing her cheek again and going to get your coat. He watches as she pulls you into a hug and chucks you under the chin, “Don’t be a stranger, hear me?” she said. 

You nod and she smiles a little, watching Bucky help you into your coat, glad that he hadn’t forgotten being taught good manners. She’s be lying if she said her heart didn’t melt a little watching him kiss the tip of your nose as he wrapped your scarf around your neck too. 

She watches the two of you leave and watches out the kitchen window as he helps you into the truck, taking just a moment to smack you on the ass, chuckling when you yelp at him. She shakes her head and smiles a little as he steals a kiss before shutting your door. He was so soft for you. 

He’d always been soft for you. It was nice to see him actually going out of his way to be soft. On purpose. She’d been afraid that the Army had beat all of that out of him. It had scared her for a long time. He’d always been her wild child. His father’s son. Hard-drinking. A daredevil. Not a soft bone in his body for anyone. Except for his ma and his kid sisters. You, but only if you knew him as a kid. When he came back from the Army, he’d lived like he wanted to die and didn’t have the will to pull the trigger. Then he and the others had founded the shop. He still wasn’t himself. Not like he should be but, watching him now, she could see glimpses of the boy he had been. And of the man he could be for the right girl.

________

In the warm cab of the truck, Bucky takes your hand and kisses it softly. “Where are we going?” you ask, smiling a little. 

“I thought,” he said softly, “That I’d take you back to my place for a while. We could just snuggle up I could kiss you a few dozen more times.” He smiled, “Next time I take you out, we’ll go out out. But I thought you could use a break.”

“That sounds good,” you murmur shyly. 

Bucky grins at you and you feel your heart skip a beat, making you look away trying to get control of the butterflies bursting into life in your stomach. Bucky feels his smile soften a little, “Baby girl,” he says gently, “nothing you don’t beg me for.” He winks at you and kisses the hand he’s holding, “No pressure. I just want to have you to myself for a little while. Maybe get you another nice nap.”

You nod and he kisses your palm. “Besides,” he said teasing, “Pretty sure my ma couldn’t take another pregnancy scare after this last one.”

“What wound up happening with that?” you ask, tilting your head and Bucky shrugged.

“It’s not my problem, Doll,” he said, “Not till I get a DNA test that proves the kid ain’t mine.”

You nod, “Is that likely?” you ask. It isn’t judgemental. It’s just a question. 

He sighed, “At least a little,” he said. “I don’t remember every time we had sex. I thought I used a condom every time.”

He glances at you, “I got tested not long ago too,” he added, “I’m clean. I have the papers if you want to see them.”

You smile a little, “It’ll be okay.” You wish you had a pet name that you liked for him. That’s how you always kept Kaity from worrying. 

Bucky pulled up in his drive and smiled at you a little, “It ain’t much, but it’s home, doll.” he said. Before you could answer he was out of his truck and hurrying around to open your door for you and help you down.

“It’s cute,” you tell him, kissing his jaw. “You’re cute, but I think I might like you better scruffy.”

“Oh?” he chuckled, kissing your nose.

“Your dimples are distracting,” you murmur, cheeks getting pink.

“Well,” he rumbled, “I always did like you distracted. That seems like a good incentive to stay clean-shaven.”

You pout prettily and he lifts you up gently, “Sorry darlin’,” he rumbles, “I haven’t gotten to carry a pretty girl over the threshold yet.” He opened the door easily and relishes the feel of you nestling close, your head on his shoulder and your breath tickling his neck, “I don’t mind,” you murmur.

“Good,” he hummed, setting you gently on his kitchen table to help you get out of your coat and scarf, taking the time to feather light, sweet kisses on your cheeks. “You’re chilly,” he says frowning softly, “Lets get you warm again, huh? I’ll make some coco if you wanna go get the comforter off my bed.”

The wide, soft look in your eyes when you look up at him makes his heart stutter, “Go on, baby girl,” he hums, “go get snuggled in. I’ll be there in a minute.” He helps you down off the table and watches you go setting about heating up milk for coco. He listens to you rattling around in his living room, the thud of your boots hitting the floor. It’s nice. Usually girls don’t spend much time anywhere but in his bed. He doesn’t make them coco. But this. This is nice. He doesn’t even want to add alcohol. All he wants is to get you warm and cozy again. Lost in a haze of comfort for a little while. You’ve lost weight. He can tell. You always lose weight when you’re down. He doesn’t know why you don’t really eat when you’re stressed. Maybe because eating costs money.

When he came into the living room, mugs in either hand, you’d already found a movie on Netflix. Something low stakes and animated. It looked like Disney. It was probably Disney. He settled next to you and put a mug in your hands, pulling you close. You look up at him, steam clouding your glasses with a shy smile. You really are a baby. He kisses the tip of your nose and smiles, “How do you feel, baby girl?” he asks.

“Better,” you answer. 

“Good,” he hums, basking in the feeling of you nestled into his arms. You’re looking at the line work on his arm with interest. It’s a tat he wanted covered. And impulse decision. One he regretted. “Can I have my bag?” you ask.

Bucky grabs it and hands it to you, “Why doll, you got a tattoo kit in there?” You shrug, “I got sharpies. And I apprenticed for a little while in art school. Got all my certifications and shit just... sold my kit for my plane ticket.”

“Have at it,” he says smiling a little. You pull sharpie markers out of your bag and set your mug on the coffee table, surveying his arm carefully. Your touch is light as you feel for raised skin and check out the linework. He watches you, watching you work out a design carefully. Incorporating his good tattoos to make a cohesive image. It’s nice. Maybe not what he had in mind but he likes the focus in your eyes. Your glasses are sliding down your nose and you don’t even notice as you color in your work. He settles back and relaxes, happy to have you here. Happy you’re happy. 

When you sit back and let go of his arm he inspects your work and grins, “This is beautiful work, doll,” he praises. He pushes your glasses up and steals a soft kiss, “I’d definitely walk around with this on my arm.”

You flush at the praise and press another kiss into his lips, “Really?”

“Really,” he says, “It’s not something I would have picked myself but it works. I like the flow. How’d you cover it all with sharpie? That’s some pretty thick line work.”

“I followed your muscles. And played with some contrast and shading... It’s just sharpie so there are places where you can see the black if you squint but... It’s not bad.”

“Beauty and brains,” he hummed, pulling you into his lap and stealing a slow kiss that made you sigh as you tangled your fingers in his hair. “Aren’t I lucky?” he hummed, kissing softly down your throat and listening to the hitch in your breath. “Bucky,” you sigh, “I- I- that’s nice.”

He grins and nuzzles your collar bone, “It’s supposed to be, baby girl,” he murmurs, his fingers finding the hem of your sweatshirt to tickle your belly with soft touches. He really wants you giggly and squirmy. 

What he finds is raised skin and scars. Lines that he knows are self-inflicted. What he gets is you vaulting off his lap looking scared. Scared and backing away from him slowly. “Hey,” he soothes, “It’s okay. It’s all okay.”

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, backing towards the door.

“No,” he said holding his hands out for you to take, “ I’m sorry. I promised snuggles and kisses. I just. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Or hurt you. Did it hurt? I’m sorry baby.” He glances down at his hand and there’s blood. Not much, but enough. 

“Sweetheart,” he says, “Let’s get you cleaned up okay?”

“I’m sorry,” you murmur.

“I’m not mad, I’m gonna go get the kit, okay? I don’t want then getting infected. You just sit down. Or lie down. Laying down is probably better if it’s your belly.” He goes to get the kit and comes back. You have your arms wrapped around your body, for comfort, he thinks. 

He puts the kit on the coffee table and pulls you close very gently. “Let me see, baby girl,” he soothes, “Let me help you. I just want to clean things up.”

You nod, mutely and he pushes your sweatshirt out of the way gently, shifting you onto the sofa to kneel in front of you. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t a little bit of a shock. A myriad of scars left precious little unmarked skin. There were new marks, seeping a little. Like scaps had broken open. He cleaned it gently and kissed your belly lightly, nuzzling gently. “Baby,” he murmured, “Why’d you do this?”

“It’s the only way I feel better,” you whisper. 

“Are you feeling suicidal?” he asked.

“No,” you answer, shaking your head, “I don’t want to die. I just...”

“You just what?”

“I just wanted to feel okay.”

He nods and kisses your stomach a few more times, nuzzling into the warmth. He doesn’t know what to do. All he knows is that he can’t pull away. He can’t let you think he’s less in love with you now. That’s he scared. 

“When did you do it?” he asked carefully.

“Last night. I couldn’t sleep. I just kept laying there. Listening to Kaity’s breathing. I just... I’m. What am I supposed to do?” you say softly. 

Bucky tackles you gently onto the sofa, pinning you under him, “What you’re going to do,” he murmured, “Is call me when you need someone.”

He kisses you softly and nips your lip, “I don’t care what time it is,” he said, “You call me. I’ll find a way to make it better. I’ll kiss you stupid. You can draw on my arm. I’ll find something for you to eat. Anything, okay? Just... Just call.”

“But-”

“No,” he said, kissing you quiet, “Let me help you, doll. I can build bikes half awake. You can’t keep healing while you’re coming apart under pressure.”

He kisses you again slowly, keeping you pinned under him, when your arms wrap around his neck and your hips roll up to meet his, he kisses you a little more insistently. “That’s good, baby girl,” he panted, “Real good.” You smile a little shyly, cheeks coloring at the praise and he kisses the tip of your nose, “You need me to stop, or can I keep going?” he asked softly.

“Please don’t stop,” you whisper.

“Your wish is my command,” he chuckles, kissing you again, tickling your side and making you giggle.

Tags: @lancsnerd, @stevieang @etherealwaifgoddess, @thorfanficwriter, @blameitonthecauseway

[and-the-paradime-shifts]

I know I haven’t updated it in a while, but here’s a picture of Jayla Agreste in Magic And Ultralinks Just Don’t Mix. It’s my first time using alcohol markers, so, yeah.

Here ya go!!

Proof

[zen3to5]

J/H 5-06: Over the Hills and Far Away

This was an interesting case, the one page-one rewrite of Season 5. I really like this episode as it is, and I think it's one of the best of the fifth season - overall, and for J/H. But because of the rewrites done to "Eric's Naughty No-No," Hyde's dilemma about fidelity here would be redundant. So, I've come up with something else for him and Jackie in this timeline...

(Following production order, we assume that episode 5-05, "Ramble On," played out as we know it, without changes.)

FF.Net AO3

***

SHOW TITLE   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN - NIGHT   Suppertime. RED, HYDE, and ERIC are at the kitchen table, with dinner laid out before them. KITTY, with a last tray of food, scurries over and takes her seat.   KITTY: Okay. So, is everyone ready for our big trip to the University of Wisconsin?   ERIC: Yeah, Donna and I have it all mapped out. She is going to buy a tight sweater with a big red “W” on it, and I am going to watch her wear it.   Red looks up from his meal, glares at Eric.   ERIC (cont’d): (to Red) And then we’re gonna buckle down.   KITTY: Steven, honey, are you sure you don’t want to come with us?   HYDE: No thanks, Mrs. Forman. I’m not the college type. I get my learnin’ on the street.   RED: (to Hyde) That reminds me – all the beer’s coming out of the house. All the wine, too. Anything with alcohol, I’m moving out of here tonight. So if you somehow cut yourself while we’re gone, pack it with ice and hope to God you reach the hospital in time.   HYDE: You’re thinking of what happened last New Years’ Eve, aren’t you?   RED: See there – you’ve got the smarts for college.   KITTY: (to Eric) Well, I just can’t believe my baby is all grown up and visiting college. (beat) I am so freaking old!   ERIC: And menopause makes another unwelcome appearance at the dinner table.   Kitty starts fanning herself.   The patio door opens, and DONNA enters the kitchen. Eric stands to meet her.   ERIC (cont’d): Hey, there’s my favorite co-ed. Hey, you all packed for visitors’ weekend?   DONNA: I can’t go. My dad is making me visit Marquette instead. He thinks it’s a better school ‘cause it’s private. Oh, and ‘cause it sounds French.   ERIC: Well, you know what? We’ll just go with you. I mean, if it’s a better school, then I belong there too. Right, Dad?   RED: No. State schools are cheap. That’s where you belong.   ERIC: Well, what if, like, you took out a second mortgage on the house?   Red and Hyde both laugh.   RED: Not for you, dumbass.

MAIN CREDITS   BUMPER   INT. DONNA’S BEDROOM - NIGHT   Shortly after dinner. As Eric watches, Donna packs for visitors’ weekend.   DONNA: I have a bad feeling about this weekend, Eric. Nothing good can come from us visiting different schools.   ERIC: Well, yeah, but there’s an upside. Two days apart... I mean, when we get together, it’s gonna be electric, baby. Like a thunderstorm.   DONNA: Eric, I’m serious. I mean, what if we actually end up going to different colleges and we’re apart for four years?   ERIC: Well, then, come semester break, you’d better board up your windows, ‘cause guess what? Here comes Hurricane Eric.   DONNA: Board up my windows? What are my windows? And, whatever they are, wouldn’t you want them open?   ERIC: Mmm.   Donna tries to keep packing, but Eric moves in closer.   ERIC (cont’d): Look, Donna, all I’m saying is that I think we can get through anything. I mean, we go to different schools now and we’re fine, because our love is strong. Like a big, burly bear. So zip up your tent, ‘cause guess what? This bear has claws.   DONNA: Again, wouldn’t you want my tent open?   ERIC: Mmm.   BUMPER   EXT. FORMAN KITCHEN - DAY   The next morning, pre-trip. Red and Hyde stand by the sink, sipping sodas. Eric comes in from the living room, dressed for the road with a backpack slung over his shoulders.   RED: Hold it, Son. Now, before we hit the road, we need to have a talk about that horrible thing that’s taken over your mother.   ERIC: You mean her change of life?   HYDE: I thought we were calling it the lady parts problem.   RED: It goes by many names. Now we’re dealing with a tricky enemy here. I haven’t been this frosty since Korea. And, just like a commie, it can jump out and attack you at any moment.   KITTY (v.o.): Red, honey?   HYDE: Incoming!   ERIC: Retreat!   Hyde rushes down to the basement while Eric breaks for the patio door. They clear out just as Kitty enters from the living room.   KITTY: Red, um, you know, I’ve been a tad bit moody lately. So, um, if you don’t want me to go on this trip, I’ll understand.   RED: Well, you know, honey, there’s really no need for you to go.   DONNA: I knew you didn’t want me to go! Well, I am going whether you like it or not! (Stars fanning herself) Why is it so damn hot in here? It’s like... it’s like we’re living in Hell!   She storms back out into the living room.   RED: You can say that again.   He sighs and nurses his soda.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - DAY   A truncated gang all share the couch – Hyde, JACKIE, and FEZ. WACKY RACES plays on the TV. Jackie’s eyes, however, are on Hyde, and she sits in as coy a pose as she can.   JACKIE: So, Steven, you have the whole house to yourself this weekend.   HYDE: Yeah, but the Formans are all on edge dealing with all the menopause crap, so I’m playing it safe. We’ll have to take the party on the road. (to Fez) All set, buddy?   FEZ: Ten-four, amigo. I got the jumbo size this time.   JACKIE: (to Hyde) What is he talking about?   HYDE: Saturday night, man. We cruise around, stop by the high school, and throw eggs at the football practice.   FEZ: And then I spend most of Monday running from the football team. Their catch rate is down – I’m really building up my speed.   JACKIE: What? Steven, don’t you remember last week? You finally called me your girlfriend.   Hyde shrugs; he doesn’t get it.   JACKIE (cont’d): We’re officially a couple now.   HYDE: All right. So?   JACKIE: So, don’t you think we should spend Saturday night together?   HYDE: Hey, you can come if you want. They’ve caught us on the field a few times. We could use your high kicks.   JACKIE: I don’t want to spend our first official Saturday as a couple fighting the football team with Fez.   FEZ: Oh, Jackie, you know there is a good chance I’d be with you wherever you two went for your Saturday night.   Jackie and Hyde both turn to glare at him; he pulls back to his end of the couch as far as he can.   CUT TO:   EXT. FORMAN DRIVEWAY – DAY   Concurrent with the previous scene. Eric and Red finish packing up the Vista Cruiser as Kitty comes out from the kitchen, dressed for the trip.   KITTY: Red, honey, you know, I’m sorry about our little spat. The last thing I wanna do is ruin our trip.   RED: Oh, sweetheart, that’s okay.   He smiles, gives her a quick kiss. Kitty giggles and goes into the Vista Cruiser.   ERIC: Wow. Mom certainly cheered up.   RED: Don’t be fooled. She’s a ticking time bomb.   They start around the car when KELSO comes running through the garage, an envelope stuck onto his jacket.   KELSO: Hey, wait up!   RED: What do you want?   KELSO: The explanation’s pinned to my lapel.   Red takes the envelope off Kelso and opens the note inside.   RED: (reading) “Dear Red, Mr. Kelso and I are unable to take Michael to UW. Here’s thirty dollars so he can go with you.”   He checks the envelope; it’s empty.   RED (cont’d): (to Kelso) Where’s the thirty bucks?   KELSO: Oh, I bought this electronical football game.   He holds the game up.   RED: I swear to God, Kelso! You make Eric look like Einstein!   Eric pulls a “touched” face, puts his hand on his heart.   ERIC: Thank you, Daddy.   KELSO: (scoffs) “Thank you?” Einstein was ugly.   He and Eric move to get in the car as Red rolls his eyes.   CUT TO:   EXT. OPEN ROAD - DAY   The Vista Cruiser speeds down the highway. Red and Kitty sit up front, Eric and Kelso in back. The noise from Kelso’s football game fills the car. Kitty tugs furiously at her collar.   KITTY: Oh! It’s like a sauna in here. I wish you all didn’t have to breathe so much.   ERIC:  All right, Kelso, you heard the lady. No more breathing.   KITTY: (to Eric) No, I didn’t tell you not to breathe, I told you not to breathe as much. There’s a difference!   RED: (sighs) Eric, how far are we from the exit?   Eric glances out the window at the mile markers.   ERIC: Um... we just missed it.   RED: Dammit! You’re supposed to be following the map. What the hell are you doing back there?   Eric holds up the map – folded into a crown.   ERIC: Making you a crown, ‘cause you’re king of the road!   He pops the crown on his head, then clutches at his stomach.   ERIC (cont’d): Whoa. That last soda’s made it through. Can we pull off to use the bathroom?   KELSO: First and goal!   RED: When’s the next damn exit?   ERIC: Bit of an emergency here.   KELSO: Touchdown!   KITTY: Would you all just shut up!   She cranks the A/C and takes a few deep breaths, as the men all do their best to pretend not to be there.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN – DAY   Eggs, eggs, and more eggs! Seven full cartons of eggs cover the kitchen table. Hyde and Fez stand around the table and inspect the eggs, all grins. Jackie leans against the island, pouting.   FEZ: (to Hyde) This is going to be a good one. The new halfback, Hunter Williams, poured tomato sauce down my pants during lunch on Thursday. Well, Hunter, let’s see how you like egg yolks all over your ass.   Hyde cackles, looks over at Jackie. She looks away.   HYDE: What, first you’re not coming, now you’re giving me the silent treatment? (to Fez) Talk about your win-win.   They both laugh. Jackie starts for the door to the living room. Hyde sighs, catches her by the arm, and turns her around.   HYDE (cont’d): Come on. This’ll be fun. We’re gonna be trespassing, vandalizing school property, and sticking it to the Man. It’s everything I’ve been trying to teach you, honey.   Jackie is not amused.   HYDE (cont’d): Jackie, this is what I do on the weekends, okay?   JACKIE:  Steven, we’re a couple now. Weekends aren’t just about what you do. They’re about what we do, together. And there’s a ballroom dance class at the rec center tonight, so you get rid of those eggs and put on a clean shirt!   HYDE: Ballroom dancing? I’d have to punch myself in the head just for walking into that class. Look, I made my plans, and I told you you could tag along. Are you in or out?   Jackie glares up at him; he glares back. She pushes past him and strolls out the patio door.   Hyde sighs and sits down at the kitchen table, where Fez is still counting eggs. He holds one up and nods approvingly.   FEZ: This one is for the quarterback. What he did, I am too much of a man to say. But when this egg reaches the place it is meant to reach... oh, he will know.   He stands up straighter as Hyde puts a hand over his shades.   CUT TO:   INT. DORM HALL – DAY   The University of Wisconsin campus. Visitors’ weekend may have drawn a lot of kids and parents, but it hasn’t inspired any spirit of cleanliness; Animal House would be proud of the state this place is in. Rock music wafts through the halls for good measure.   Red, Kitty, Eric, and Kelso enter through the front door. Eric and Kelso wander off immediately while Red and Kitty assess the situation from the doorway.   RED: What the hell kind of college is this? Barefoot hippies playing frisbee, barefoot hippies singing songs to trees...   Eric and Kelso find a section of wall to lean on, a section that happens to have a poster for CPR instructions.   KELSO: Man, this place is awesome. (points to poster) Look, they even have dirty cartoons on the wall.   ERIC: Kelso, those are CPR instructions.   DONNA: Wow, I’ve done CPR a lot.   A particularly filthy-looking college student approaches Red and Kitty, offers his hand – this is TED.   TED: Hi. I’m Ted, resident advisor.   He shakes Red and Kitty’s hands in turn.   KITTY: Hi.   ERIC: Why don’t you folks have a look around, and I’ll show the boys where they’re gonna be staying.   He crosses to Eric and Kelso. Red and Kitty start looking around in the opposite direction and find students passed out on couches.   RED: I don’t know about this place.   KITTY: I’ll say. It’s the middle of November. I don’t see any Thanksgiving decorations.   Over by the wall, Ted leans in and drops his voice.   TED: Visitors’ weekend is great. We always have a big dorm party. Tons of booze, tons of chicks.   Eric and Kelso share a grin and a high-five.   ERIC: Man, this place is great! It’s too bad Donna couldn’t make it...   A BOMBSHELL BLONDE, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around her middle, walks past them.   ERIC (cont’d): Oh, my God, would you look at that?   KELSO: We just saw college butt! On a girl!   Of course, this is the time when Red walks over.   RED: (to Ted) Hold it. Girls live here too?   TED: Yes, sir. We’re co-ed.   ERIC/KELSO: Oh, yeah!/All right!   RED: That’s it! You’re staying with us at the motel.   He starts toward the door. Eric runs after him.   ERIC: Wait! Dad, wait. Think of what a valuable experience this could be for me. I mean, this is my first step into the real world. (claps Red’s shoulder) I’m your little bird, Dad. Give me wings to fly.   Red looks at Eric’s hand on his shoulder; Eric pulls it away.   RED: Butch it up and get in the car.   Eric sighs and obeys.   Kelso has wandered over to the girls’ restroom and cracked open the door.   KELSO: Excuse me, this is your CPR coach. I’m gonna need to check your lung capacities. (over his shoulder) That means their boobs.   He stops when he sees Red, not Eric, over his shoulder. Stone-faced Red takes Kelso by the arm and pulls him away.   FADE TO BLACK   COMMERCIAL   BUMPER   INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT   The Formans’ hotel for the weekend. Red sits on the edge of the bed with a map of UW while Eric and Kelso lie on cheap cots. Kelso is back at his football game.   RED: There’s got to be at least one all-male dormitory on this campus. Ah! Here it is, right between the chapel and the school of interior design.   Kitty, ready for bed, enters from the bathroom, just slightly tense and unsteady.   KITTY: Boys, um, I realize that, uh, I may have been a little irrational today.   KELSO: A little?   KITTY: SHUT UP! (takes deep breath) So, um, maybe now is a good time for me to explain a few things to you about menopause. And, um, lucky for you, I’m a nurse, so I can use the proper terms, like epithelial lining and uterine wall.   Eric groans, flips around, and buries his head into his pillow. Kelso just keeps playing his game. Kitty takes two small bars of soap from her robe pockets.   KITTY (cont’d): Okay, so, um, now, say these soaps are my ovaries. Okay, um, about a month ago, they stopped producing...   She loses her train of thought, thanks to the noise from Kelso’s game.   KITTY (cont’d): They stopped...   The game gets louder, and she loses it again.   KITTY (cont’d): Stopped producing...   And once more.   KITTY (cont’d): Oh, that’s it!   She reaches over, snatches the game from Kelso, and tosses it out the window.   KITTY (cont’d): (to Kelso) What is wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head?   Kelso gapes up at her; he’s never seen Mrs. Forman like this.   KELSO: Yes, I was. And up until now, everyone had the good grace not to mention it!   His bottom lip quivering, he throws himself down into his pillow.   Red sighs and stands.   RED: Okay, boys. Time to leave.   ERIC: YES!   He and Kelso scramble off the cots and out the door.   BUMPER   EXT. ROAD – NIGHT   Somewhere in Point Place, the El Camino cruises the streets. Hyde is at the wheel, Fez in the passengers’ seat, a bag loaded with egg cartons in his lap. “Pump it Up” by Elvis Costello plays on the radio. Hyde wears a deep frown, Fez an impatient mug.   FEZ: We’ve circled past the school three times already. We missed the end of the JV cheerleader practice. Let’s park this mamma and do this thing!   HYDE: Whatever.   FEZ: Oh. You’re still upset about Jackie.   HYDE: What the hell’s her deal, man? Before we were together, I brought her along on a few nights like this and she was up for it. So, now that we’re an “official couple” or whatever, she doesn’t wanna have fun?   FEZ: (tsks) Oh, Hyde. Poor, poor Hyde. Cool as you are, you know nothing of women.   Hyde gives Fez a dirty look, but he persists.   FEZ (cont’d): You made plans for the weekend without even consulting her. You cannot do this with a girlfriend. That’s a big step for you two. You do not want to do something special with your lady?   HYDE: I don’t know, man. I mean, I’ve been showing her the ropes on all this stuff for a while now, and I just figured -   FEZ: Hyde, have you been trying to make Jackie a-cool? (shakes his head) She is her own woman, orphan boy. You think whatever you want to do, if you snap, she comes? That is trouble. Just you wait, Henry Higgins.   HYDE: “Henry Higgins?”   FEZ: You know, from My Fair Lady.   Hyde stares blankly, not a clue what Fez means.   FEZ (cont’d): It was the school musical this year. I was Dancer Number Three.   More blank stares.   FEZ (cont’d): You told me you went to see it, you son of a bitch!   He turns away in a huff. Hyde sighs and turns the car around.   BUMPER   INT. DORM HALL – NIGHT   Ted’s promised party. As “Wheel in the Sky” by Journey blares over the radio, college students and visiting high schoolers dance, sample the keg, and make out. Kelso has a STATUESQUE BLONDE pinned up against the wall, near the CPR poster.   KELSO: (points to poster) I see UW has a pretty good CPR program. That’s gonna be my major.   She rolls her eyes at him and walks away.   Eric walks up the hall with a STRAWBERRY BLONDE, mid-conversation.   ERIC: So, I told my girlfriend, “we can go to separate schools.” I mean, people do that all the time, right?   STRAWBERRY BLONDE: Yeah. I mean, my boyfriend goes to school in New York, and we’ve been together for three years, and we’re in love now more than ever.   ERIC: Of course you are. And I bet, when you two get together, it’s like a thunderstorm, right?   Ted walks up behind them and snakes an arm around the strawberry blonde’s waist.   TED: Hey, pretty lady.   She leans into him, and they start making out.   ERIC: (to blonde) Excuse me, hello? Didn’t you just say you had a boyfriend?   SRAWBERRY BLONDE: Yeah. But he’s not here.   She takes Ted by the hand and leads him away.   Eric, dazed, crosses over to Kelso, who is once again looking into the girls’ bathroom.   ERIC: Did you just see that? I told Donna we could go to different schools, and I was extremely wrong, and... man, if she doesn’t hate Marquette, we’re screwed.   KELSO: Who cares, Eric? There’s a bunch of these college chicks sharing a shower!   He turns back to the bathroom. Eric throws his hands up and walks away.   BUMPER   INTERCUT - INT. MARQUETTE/INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT   A row of payphones on the wall. Donna is on one of them.   DONNA: Eric? Is everything okay?   Eric, on the other end of the call, sitting by the nightstand while Red sits near the head of the bed and Kitty on the end. Kitty tries to hold in tears as she watches television.   ERIC: (into phone) Yeah, everything’s fine. I just want to see how you like Marquette. And, can I just say, if that snooty switchboard operator’s attitude is any indication of the Marquette experience, then I can only assume we’re crossing Marquette off the list right now.   DONNA: No, actually, it’s great. Okay, they have this English professor. He wears a beret and wears a corduroy jacket, but he listens to Zeppelin!   ERIC: Uh, yeah, well, UW has a vending machine, so... (beat) Donna, I love you.   DONNA: I love you too. Bye.   She hangs up, walks off.   Eric sets the phone back on the receiver just as Kitty breaks out into full-on tears.   RED: (to Eric) You gonna cry now too?   KITTY: You know who had a real family? The Waltons. We’re just three strangers sitting in a room!   She tosses her tissue aside and heads into the bathroom.   ERIC: Donna loves it there. I don’t know what to do.   RED: (to Eric) There’s nothing any of us can do. We’re all screwed. You think I like being stuck here, nursing my lunatic wife back from the brink? Hell, no. But we can’t control what happens to us. Even if, by some stroke of luck, you actually hang on to Donna, eventually she’s gonna turn into that. (points to the bathroom door) And then, a few years later, you’ll die.   ERIC: (beat) Okay, thanks for the bedtime story.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – NIGHT   The basement is empty, the lights all out. The lock clicks, the basement door opens, and Hyde and Fez step in, hitting the lights as they enter. Fez still has his bag of eggs.   They make it halfway to the couch when Jackie comes out from Hyde’s room.   JACKIE: Hello, Steven.   Hyde and Fez both jump. Fez throws his bag up, and it lands behind him with the sound of many cracking shells.   FEZ: Ai.   Hyde looks over at Jackie.   HYDE: Jackie? Did Forman finally give you a key?   JACKIE: No.   HYDE: Then how’d you get in here?   She holds up a bobby pin and wiggles it around before placing it back in her hair. Hyde shrugs and takes a step toward her.   HYDE (cont’d): Look, Jackie, I know you wanted to spend Saturday night together, and I kind of blew you off, so... we’re not doing the egg thing, so if you wanna go -   JACKIE: No, no, Steven. Look, you are an independent man set in his ways, and you’ve never had a girlfriend before. You’ve never been shown how to obey one.   Hyde shakes his head, “are you kidding me?”   JACKIE (cont’d): But I’ve thought about it, and I think I’ve found a way we can spend Saturday night together that combines what you like and what I like.   She goes to the record player and drops the needle. “Ballroom Blitz” by Sweet comes on. Jackie smiles up at Hyde and begins dancing in place. He shrugs and nods.   HYDE:  Not bad.   JACKIE: I know, right? And...   She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small paper bag. She tosses it to Hyde, who knows exactly what it is.   HYDE: This is my stash.   JACKIE: Yeah, I thought you’d have a better hiding place for it than an old shirt pocket.   She dances her way over to Hyde, stopping right in front of him. He looks down at her, grinning ear to ear.   HYDE: I think a special night deserves a special treat.   CUT TO:   MONTAGE. SET TO “BALLROOM BLITZ.”   A) FORMAN KICHEN - Hyde, in Kitty’s silly-looking oven mitts, mixes up a big bowl of brownie mix. Jackie, at his side, sticks her finger into the batter and gets a taste.   BALLROOM BLITZ (v.o.): It was like lightning...   B) FORMAN KITCHEN – Hyde lifts the finished tray of brownies out of the oven as Jackie watches (as best she can) over his shoulder.   BALLROOM BLITZ (v.o.): Everybody was fighting...   C) FORMAN KITCHEN – Overhead on the kitchen table as Hyde slices the brownies up.   BALLROOM BLITZ (v.o.): And the music was soothing...   D) FORMAN KITCHEN – Hyde and Jackie each have a brownie. They link arms, smile at each other, and each take a big bite.   BALLROOM BLITZ (v.o.): And they all started grooving...   E) Extreme close-up on Jackie’s eyes, then Hyde’s behind his shades, as the “special ingredient” kicks in.   F) FORMAN KITCHEN – Hyde and Jackie sit together, their heads leaned against one another, their mouths set in spacey smiles, as the walls spin around them with the effects of the brownies.   BALLROOM BLITZ (v.o.): Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah!   G) FORMAN KITCHEN – HIGH SPEED. HAND-HELD. WIDE ANGLE. Jackie and Hyde stand before an open freezer, taking shots of whipped cream straight from the can into their mouths.   BALLROOM BLITZ (v.o.): And the man in the back...   H) FORMAN LIVING ROOM – HIGH SPEED. The couch, the coffee table, and Red’s chair are all shoved back out of the way, leaving room for Hyde and Jackie to do a wild dance all over the floor.   BALLROOM BLITZ (v.o.): ... Said “everyone attack” And it turned into a ballroom blitz!   I) FORMAN BEDROOM – HIGH SPEED. Jackie sits at Kitty’s nightstand, admiring her reflection. She has on Hyde’s sunglasses. He enters the room, surprising her. He lunges when he sees her with his shades, but she jumps up, dodges, and runs out of the room, giggling, as Hyde gives chase.   BALLROOM BLITZ (v.o.): And the girl in the corner Said “boy, I wanna warn ya...”   J) FORMAN BASEMENT – HIGH SPEED. Hyde comes charging down the stairs with Jackie slung over his shoulder. She still wears his shades. They race right past Fez, who has been standing around in the basement for this entire montage. They almost make it to Hyde’s room when he sets Jackie down. The two of them run to Fez, each grab an arm, and shoo him out the basement door. Hyde locks it behind him. He and Jackie nod and shake hands before he picks her back up and carries her to his room.   BALLROOM BLITZ (v.o.): “It’ll turn into a ballroom blitz!” Ballroom blitz! Ballroom blitz! Ballroom blitz! Ballroom blitz!   BUMPER   EXT. FORMAN KITCHEN - DAY   The next day, late afternoon. The Vista Cruiser rests in the parking lot. Red and Eric unload the car as Kitty steps out and stretches. She’s all smiles, in a wonderful mood; she’s the only one.   KITTY: What a wonderful weekend! We should go away more often!   Laughing, she heads into the house. Red, looking one step from death, turns to Eric.   RED: They’ve gotta make a pill for this.   He follows Kitty inside.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN – DAY   The place is a mess. The mixing bowl is out with the spoon inside, the decimated tray of brownies is still on the table, the whipped cream can is on the floor, and bags, boxes, cans, and pans of half-eaten snacks are everywhere.   Red and Kitty just start to take it all in when a yawning Hyde comes up from the basement in an open bathrobe and sweatpants.   RED: Steven! What the hell is all this?   Hyde freezes mid-step.   HYDE: (beat) The folly of prohibition is what it is! You take away beer, you see what happens.   Red rolls his eyes as Kitty takes another wide-eyed look around the room.   CUT TO:   EXT. FORMAN DRIVEWAY – DAY   Eric finishes unloading the Vista Cruiser. Donna comes up the driveway.   DONNA: Hi.   ERIC: Okay. I know you love Marquette, and you know what? I’ve made my peace with that. So if that means that we’re going to go to separate schools, and drift apart, and make out with guys named Ted, then that’s just the way it’s gonna have to be, because you’re gonna get menopause, and I’m gonna die, and we can’t control anything that happens to us!   DONNA: (beat) I’m not going to Marquette.   ERIC: Well, then, never mind.   They sit down on the open back of the car.   DONNA: I mean... Eric, I loved it, and when I was driving home, I was so excited to tell you about it. And then the drive took forever. And I realized that’s how far away I’d be from you all the time. And I don’t want that. So I’ll just tell my dad I want to go to UW with you.   ERIC: Donna, you have no idea how happy you just made me.   DONNA: Eric, this is gonna be great! We’re gonna be together all the time!   ERIC: Ooh. Um, you’re not gonna get all clingy, right?   DONNA: (laughing) Shut up!   ERIC: No, come on, I’m gonna be a big college man.   DONNA: Uh-huh.   ERIC: I’m gonna need my space.   They share another laugh and scoot closer together on the car.   FADE TO BLACK   CREDITS   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN – DAY   Another day. Kitty dries the dishes by the sink while Red watches her from the island. Kelso enters through the patio door, another envelope pinned to his jacket.   RED: (to Kelso) What do you want?   KELSO: Once again, the explanation is pinned to my lapel.   Red takes a note from the envelope.   RED: (reading) “Dear Mr. and Mrs. Forman, please give Michael thirty dollars for the game you threw out the window and broke. Signed, my parents.”   Kitty lets out a big laugh and retreats to the living room.   RED: (beat) Well, you made her laugh. That’s worth thirty bucks.   He pulls out some bills and drops them into Kelso’s envelope.   END.

***

The only additional change we should assume for Season 5 in this timeline is that the changeover to 1978 happens in episode 5-10 [according to production order], "The Crunge."

Well, we made it into Season 5, and we're past the point where there are any major continuity issues to address. The goal of keeping the Zen story going after "Jackie Bags Hyde" and syncing back into the show's established timeline is met, and so we're done here.

...Or are we?

[adventuresofateenagebitch]

Destiny

Summary: Your destiny was to rule over Hell, it was your birthright. But you couldn’t help but think of another warlock you knew deep in your heart was also part of you destiny.

Pairing: Nick Scratch X Sabrina (Nabrina!)

Wordcount: 2,694

A/N: This is my first post! I mean, it’s Nabrina people. He’s loved her since he first saw and heard her in choir class. Softboi Nick. But honestly, Part 3 of Sabrina messed me up pretty bad. I wanted to write a Calbrina fic, but honestly, I needed to write a Nabrina one as my first post here. No way in Heaven I would do Nabrina dirty like that. So anyway, enjoy! Leave notes likes, asks and such I super duper appreciate them! Calbrina fic is still a work in progrss. Hope you guys enjoy this. I had an awkward time ending it. LOL.

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Ruling over Hell wasn’t that hard. Growing accustomed to the afterlife where souls who deserved it were meant to live in anguish and suffer in the darkest most deranged forms of torture surprisingly happened pretty quickly, at times you’d even feel like it was more home than good old Greendale where you left behind your best friend who fell in love with your ex-boyfriend, and your family who never even noticed that the Sabrina they were living with wasn’t even the Sabrina of their time, but family can only reach so far to really know you… especially when you weren’t even related to them by blood in the slightest, except for Ambrose. You knew for a fact Ambrose noticed right away, the clever little beast. Perhaps another reason you’d grown so accustomed to Hell, your real father was with you, and as strange as it may seem, it was like you were living in any old house with a father and stepmother, minus the demons and the road of blood leading to Pandaemonium. Your father, Satan, Lucifer, or even the Dark Lord was like any other father out there. He had meals with you, guided you through your newly imbued powers, and even gave you advice on how to handle hellish matters when things came down to it. But more importantly, he never really stopped ruling over Hell, sure he had more free time now, but even then, he’d still be backhandedly working, he’d handle the affairs you couldn’t since you haven’t really gotten a grasp on the whole politics of hell, he knew he had to step in when you nearly instigated an uprising after telling a court of demons that Hell would be reformed from top to bottom. Even Lilith proved to be helpful, especially when you had to go to the mortal realm to collect souls, she’d stand guard making sure you didn’t stray from the path you’d chosen, the path of night to go back to your family and friends. Of course, hell wasn’t a full time gig, you were allowed days off, in fact you were only ever really in the throne room when you needed to be which wasn’t exactly all the time, any decision you had to make was reiterated to you through telepathy so you had free time now more than ever.

That was the problem though. 

You wanted to be busy. You wanted to stay busy because whenever your brain had even the tiniest inkling that there was nothing to occupy it with, it came back to a certain raven haired warlock whose smirk could keep you hooked for days. The same warlock who broke up with you because all he could imagine and see when he looked at you was your father who in all fairness did try to overtake his soul. Nicholas Scratch. You look down at the writing in the sand from the Shore of Sorrows and quickly cross out his name. It’s funny, the coven was now praying to Hecate, but you could still hear them, you still imbued them with their dark powers because well, they were your coven, and they really believed Hecate could give them that much power when in reality, casting spells and actually getting them to work required a circle of witches murmuring in prayer to the Goddess. The prayers ranged from offerings to prayers asking for forgiveness, you could hear your Aunties, Prudence, even Ambrose had the quick prayer every now and then even though he claimed to be a Polytheist, but the one voice you’d never heard was his, you’d like to say that you didn’t notice it, but you’d never heard him pray to Hecate.

But you could only keep up this lifestyle for so long. You spoke with your father about this. He was powerful in his own right, already feeling the discord of space and time the second you stepped foot in the throne room. He knew there were two of you, he advised you to first learn everything you could about Hell, because a time would come where you would be forcibly merged with your other self living in the mortal world, and instead of forcing you to choose like he’d done in the past, you’d already agreed to rule over Hell so you would always come back and if not, they would just summon you whenever they needed anyway.

You were walking along the path of blood through the forest where you noticed a tiny scribbling on your palm.

“Spellman.”

You looked at it curiously, and then the realization hit you all at once, there was only one person who had your magic marker. The same person who would use it to have late night conversations with you when he knew damn well that your aunties were sleeping and could hear every single squeak in the house. You quickly clear the forest, hiding the palm of your hand from Lilith when she comes to greet you in Pandaemonium.

Lilith wasn’t and never would be a fan of the Queen of Hell having any romantic life, she always told you to never even think about that.

“Oh, well if it isn’t the Queen of Hell herself.” Lilith has her hands on her hips, talking with an individual who quickly turned towards you, a cunning smirk and devious eyes trained on you. You gulp quickly.

“My, my, Miss Spellman I don’t think I’ve seen you in a long while. I thought you had foregone your magic studies for your mortal friends?” It was Dorian and you realized he was here to bring your father’s monthly stock of alcoholic beverages, he licks his lips, “Never quite thought I’d find you here though.”

You furrowed your brows, “And where exactly did you hear that?”

He turns his body fully towards you, “Why, from Nicky, of course.” Lilith gives you a short nod before going off to find her minion, “And how sad Nicky has been without… well, you.”

Your eyes which had been trained on your shoes snap up to meet his eyes, “W-what?”

He nods silently, eyes closed, “Yeah, he told me months ago and well, there hasn’t gone a day where he doesn’t drink his sorrows away.” He sighs, “Well, that’s what he gets for falling in love.”

He starts to walk around, taking inventory of his deliveries, “You’re his friend, Dorian.”

He hums, “Yes, well, he’s also a customer. A well paying one at that-”

Without even letting him finish, you turn your head in disgust, holding up two fingers to send him back to his bar through a fiery portal.

"Well, aren't you sensitive today." Lilith rubs her still nonexistent pregnant belly, "Has Mr. Scratch got your mind occupied?"

You shake your head, "No. Just-just tell me where my father is."

Lilith moves aside, "Right in his office."

----

You open the large doors shaped like demon hands and without giving him a chance to talk, you ask him, "How do I check up on my other self?"

He grins at you devilishly, "Dear daughter, by now you've already been gifted most of your full powers, it's about time I gift you a another one." He approaches you slowly looking glad to be ripped apart from the paperwork on his desk he holds his hand over your eyes, "Cum his ad divinum manus mea reddere tibi, divina aspectu"

You blink once, twice, thrice. Nothing seemed to have changed, "You seem pretty happy to be away from paperwork " you scoff.

He shrugs, "Well, you did declare a reform of hell and a book keeping of deals made of uncollected souls." He sits back down, "The royalties of Hell cannot be kept away from their collections any longer."

You shut your eyes, imagining yourself, your voice and as if you were astral projecting you see yourself with your friends. You were Laughing with Theo and Roz in the halls of Baxter High in your cheer uniform and before you can move a body passes through you, it was Harvey and when you expect him to make a beeline for Roz, he goes straight to you. The other you, leaning down he pecks you on the lips.

You look in shock as this Sabrina seemingly embraces her mortal life with her friends, in the 30 minutes you'd spent watching her, not even a hint of magic or spellcasting, "No. No, she wouldn't do this she loves her family, she loves her magic." You shut your eyes tight indespair and disbelief transporting you back where you were, not catching the way you voice seemed to have reached the other Sabrina's earsas if a whisper.

Lucifer was leaning against his desk, a knowing look plastered on his face, you walk towards him with intent, "That wasn't me. That COULDN'T have been me."

He chuckles lowly, "But in fact it is." He stands up straight, "You both are Sabrina, when Hell replenishes and provides your powers there are two of you which it splits into, and as time goes on, you and your powers get stronger because she has been slowly giving up the path of the night. It's a slow, gruesome process but she seems to think it was worth it, to keep that Kinkle boy around." He says in disgust.

He leans over you, finally taking the whole two Sabrinas situation seriously, "You see, dear daughter, only a single soul may exist in this world, to have two means it is constantly ripping and tearing the two souls apart one going more to the other, and what is a human without a soul?"

You look at him in shock, "And because the powers from Hell are more powerful with me, and she's trying to rid herself of her powers, she-she's-"

He sighs, "She knows." He pinches the bridge of his nose, "She's spoken with me and she knows everything. She only wished to spend her remaining days living a normal life with her friends and family, before she ultimately dies a slow and painful death. This was her last wish, as she's seen a future where her loved ones were killed by the Pagans." He starts pacing back and forth, "You see, the universe has a funny way of correcting itself. This time paradox which she had created was never to be successful in any way because only one Sabrina was ever meant to exist, the only two things that could have happened were you two would by nature absorb into a single being or second, one of you would have died." He shrugs.

"Now what? What then when she dies?"

Lucifer ponders, "Well, it is up to you to juggle these two lives or to choose one path over the other, but I must warn you that Hell has a way of fighting back if you do not respect the order of your binding to the realm." He sighs, plopping back down on his seat, "Now run along, child. I must finish these papers."

You walk along the corridors, before a voice reaches you, the only voice you’d wish you’d heard, his voice was low and calm as he began his prayer.

“Unholy Dark Lord, I know I have sinned against you but I am in service and gratitude to you for bringing Sabrina Spellman into my life. I only wish for you to bring her back to me. I am merely a vessel in your grand plan as your will commands so long as you bring her back to me. You rule over Hell and our lives, my brothers and sisters of the Order of Hecate do not understand our powers are granted by you our unholy savior. In exchange for my willing service if you cannot bring her back to me, I only pray you keep the love of my life from harm.” 

---------------------

You tossed and turned in your bed, unable to sleep. All you could think about was Nick, how the other you had thrown him away and all you wanted was to be with him, to tell him you loved him.

When you opened your eyes you were sat on the couch right in front of the fireplace in Dorian's bar, sitting next to one Nicholas Scratch who you already knew had been there the whole day. He takes another sip from the bottle in his hand and before his mouth touches it, you call him, "Nick."

As if the faintest of whispers reaches his ears, he looks around, catching you off guard.

"Spellman?"

You feel your eyes fill with tears as he looks around, trying so hard to find you, you speak in a clearer, louder voice, "Nick."

As clear as day, his eyes locked on you and he freezes, slowly bringing his hand to your cheek and cupping it, "Is this real? Are you really here with me? The real Sabrina?"

The tears start falling before you nod your head, "Y-yeah Nick, I'm here."

He embraces you tightly, "I-I just knew. I knew that wasn't you. The day you stopped going to the academy and you told me you were leaving behind the path of night to become a mortal, I just knew that it couldn't have been you." Tears start to stream down his face, “I’m never letting you go, Spellman. Not anymore, now that you’re back.”

You freeze, reluctantly, you clear the air, “Nick, I-I’m not actually back-I, I took the role as Queen of Hell. It’s my domain now.” You can’t seem to find the strength to look him in the eyes, “I’m not even really here. I’m in my bedroom, probably levitating while I meditate my physical and astral body here. Nick, I-I love you, but I can’t give up Hell, I don’t want to anymore. This is my destiny, and even if I did, the hierarchies of Hell would never let me.”

The giant grin on his face slowly lowers to a frown in realization, “H-Hell? You live there now? What happened to the Sabrina here?”

You shake your head, “It’s a time paradox. I’m from this time, but her, well she’s from a different timeline where Caliban was crowned King of Hell and you all died.”

He looks into your eyes, mind made up, and a determination burning in them, “You said before we broke up that you’d give it all up… for me, you would give up your destiny, Hell, Heaven, Earth, you’d give everything up for me.” You didn’t like where this was going because if he was going to make you choose, you knew you would choose Hell, “And Spellman, being apart from you only made everything all the more obvious, I thought my destiny was to become the best warlock of the Church of Night, but now I know my destiny has always been to be by your side-” He holds your hand tenderly in his, “Holding your hand as we travel and explore the path of night together and discover our place in the Underworld. I don’t ever want you to give up your place as Queen of Hell, I know this is what your were meant to do, but I would never ever let you go again, Spellman.”

You shake your head, “Nick, I don’t understand what you’re saying-”

He grasps your hand tighter in his, “What I’m saying is, Spellman, I’d follow you anywhere, even through the gates of Hell because you will always be worth it. Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be because it’s where I’m meant to be.”

You blink away the tears in your eyes, relieved Nick finally opened up to you, “Nick.” You hug him tight, “You’re willing to leave behind everything and everyone, the world, to be with me in Hell?”

He nods confidently, “I don’t care about the world, Spellman. I just care about you.” He leans in pressing his lips against yours as you come back to your physical realm and teleport him to Hell.

He breathes a sigh of relief, “Spellman.” He embraces you, “I love you, Spellman.”

You tuck your head into the crook of his neck, “I love you too, Nick.”