#but yeah even if kristen wins

[sunflowerdragonsunny]

Not Kristen bashing but. . . Kristen doesn't want the responsibility of student body president, she wants the advantages of being student body president.

Of course, her running isn't coming from a place of strategic malice like it is for kingkong crotchrocket. She's hopeful that winning will open opportunities to find new followers for Cassandra. She loves Cassandra so much, and she wants to be a valuable cleric.

Yes, the action was definitely initially motivated by rivalry, but she's a teenager that's to be expected.

She also wants to do her best for the bad kids. She knows this win would be advantageous for their investigation. She doesn't want to be the weak link. She wants to be useful and to succeed for the sake of her loved ones.

It's still not right, though. She hasn't taken the time to learn about what the student body president position even really entails. She's treating the campaign like a bit. She's treating the presidency as a solution to the problems that shes been ignoring when really it will simply be another position of responsibility on top of the ones she already has. It's clear she doesn't know what she's doing.

We all expected Riz to be the one running, that's what Sklonda was touching on, and she's right. Riz would be a great student body president because he's shown genuine care not just for his friends but for the least valued members of the student body as well.

[pixiesfz]

such a tease k.c

plot: you make a comment in an interview and Kerstin makes you pay for it

warnings: suggestive, fluff

You were sat down in the press room with Sarina on your left, you were repping some of the England Lionesses merch and your hair was brushed and out, smiling out of nerves that you were chosen to take the interview.

The interview was for your opinions and predictions for the England vs Netherlands match for the Olympic qualifiers.

Your feet were jumping up and down under the table and your fingers were playing together behind the microphone.

"You ready y/n?" one of the interviewers asked and you nodded.

The interview eased in as you tried to joke around with most questions, even making a joke about Leah's coaching comments as Sarina laughed saying that she was coming for her job.

"Are you okay for a personal question?" a young interviewer raised her hand with paper in her hand.

You knew immediately where this was going as she nervously raised her hand. You were versing Netherlands.

You were versing Kerstin.

You and Kerstin had recently announced your relationship online with a picture of you two together at a winning celebration for Manchester City. This was the first game as girlfriends that you would be versing each other.

But your mood was up so you nodded your head "it's okay" you said and the girl smiled.

"Are you scared of playing your teammate Kerstin Casperij?"

You covered your ear with your hand "who?" you smirked and the room was filled with chuckles.

You let the laughter down before finishing off the question.

You groaned as you opened the door to your and Kerstin's shared apartment to hear the stove on and happily sniff the yummy smell that came from it.

"Sorry I'm late I was chosen for an interview for the game" you sighed and turned into the kitchen to only see such a sight.

Kristen was in her pajama shorts (your old Melbourne City shorts) and just a sports bra. She wasn't wearing a t-shirt, giving you access to roam your eyes on her abs.

"babe" you deadpanned and the Dutch smiled and hummed.

"How was the interview?" she asked, quickly turning to you with a soft smirk before going back to her pot "Alright, just made some jokes" you sighed and grabbed two plates as you could see your girlfriend almost finished.

"Jokes huh?" Kerstin questioned and you nodded "yeah it was the only way I could get through it though"

Looking for the salt and pepper you were lost "Kerstin?" you called out

"Who?"

Your head shot up momentarily before looking to your girlfriend who had a full smirk on her face as she held the pasta pot and was pouring them into both your bowls.

"So you watched it?" you frowned and she nodded "very funny joke, all though you don't usually forget my name, especially in the bed-"

"I panicked!"

Kirsten just smiled smugly and took off her oven mitts and wiped her hands off on her stomach which you kept on stealing glances at.

You came to a conclusion after her action, she was getting back at you.

"Kerstin put a top on," you told her and she shook her head "I thought you liked my abbs?" she asked as if she didn't know you had picked up on her plot.

"I do" you sang out "but we are eating and it's a tease" you told her "but I'm cold" she shrugged and you rolled your eyes

"We live in Manchester Kerstin there is no way you could be cold" you crossed your arms and the Dutch's girl smile grew.

"Sorry, who's Kerstin again?" she asked, her hand covering her ear, similar to how you did at the interview.

You stepped forward, closer to your girlfriend "Kerstin we have to eat dinner" you told her softly, reaching your hands out to the sides of her waist to pull her closer.

"pretty please" you added with a sickly sweet smile.

But Kerstin seemed to be liking her teasing too much "I'm not quite sure who this person you speak of is?" she cocked her head and you groaned out in annoyment before grabbing her face and pulling down so it could be close to yours.

"Kerstin is my Dutch bloody girlfriend who I love very much-"

"you also love her abs"

"Who I also love her abs and I would like to eat dinner with her before we go to the bedroom and do unspeakable things!"

You finished with raised brows at your girlfriend's satisfied gaze "Well if you wanted me that bad you could've just asked" she teased and leaned in to kiss you.

It was sweet until your hands moved around her toned stomach and she leaned away.

"I thought you wanted to eat dinner first"

"It can wait"

[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐄𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐍𝐲𝐠𝐦𝐚 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐎𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ warnings: none

↳ song: something for your m.i.n.d— superorganism

masterlist | commissions | carrd

• Everyone's seen how he acted around Kristen before you started frequenting the GCPD

• To most of the precinct, Edward's a fidgety, overzealous guy, with a smile border lining on creepy. He's not the best at socializing, and his lack of understanding boundaries leave him with nearly zero friends

• So when you showed up with that sharp gaze of yours, at least attempting to supply him with the answer to one of his riddles, he knew he had to have you

• As a friend, of course. What else could he possibly mean by that.

• Whether you work at the precinct with him, or just happen to show up there more than considered normal, Ed can't help but hault his day just to talk to you. And he always opens with a riddle. One that he cooked up laying in his bed at night especially for you

• "My life is measured in hours and I serve you by expiring. I'm quick when I'm thin and slow when I'm fat. The wind is my enemy. What am I?" He smiles at you over the rim of his glasses, wringing his hands expectantly

• "Hey to you too, Nygma." You don't even have to look up to know that he's smiling

• "Please. Call me Ed. Do you give up?"

• "As if. Hit me with it again, would you?"

• I'm begging you. Do some kintec type puzzles with him. You will literally win his love and affection on the spot. Even if it's just a mini rubic's cube attached to a key ring; Ed is absolutely enamored with you the moment you pull it out

• It takes him a while to fully realize that he has developed sort of a thing for you. It most likely takes the help of his alter ego to flip the switch in his brain once and for all; something he doesn't appreciate. Especially considering the lack of filter he has when it comes to Ed's romance life

• After all a few months ago, the only one he had eyes for made fun of him in her spare time. Now that he has someone who genuinely wants to know about his day? It's all over for the poor guy

• If Ed ever finds out that you talk about him to other people—in a positive light, of course—he wont stop smiling for days. It gets to a point where even Jim notices and shakes his head, glad to see that forensics scientist is looking happy

• Leaves more than just verbal riddles for you to solve. That odd shaped box that you don't remember putting in your bag? That slip of paper written in a coded message? Edwards by your side the next time you show up, asking if you were able to solve it

• Lee probably knows about his crush on this mysterious figure. She can't help but notice that Edward's a little happier than he should be while digging through a dead guys sternum for a bullet

• Definitely unleashes a soft interrogation on him, only stopping once his ears are a flaming red and he cant look her in the eyes

• When she finally meets you for the first time, she can't help but smile at you knowingly while Ed sweats bullets in the background

• "So you're Nygma's friend huh? He talks about you a lot."

• "Ed?" You draw his name out and raise an eyebrow slowly, leaning to the left to peer over Lee's shoulder quizzically

• "I've suddenly recalled, uh, a uhm, experiment that I uh. Yeah. Bye."

• "Sigh. And he didn't even give me a riddle this time."

• "Oh you two really are just perfect."

• "I have no idea what your talking about."

[77brainrots]

you know, while it still would be extremely satisfying for Gorgug to land the killing blow on Porter, I think it might be even more so if he's not the one to do it. Like, yeah, showing Porter that Gorgug's way of Raging isn't wrong would be cool, but one of the gripes Porter had with it was that it was protective; he said protective Rage would not be as effective as an aggressive one. The other Bad Kids don't have the (capital r) Rage - but they sure as hell are protective of each other, and would rather go down themselves than let the others (examples: Kristen going up to the ship despite her shit Dex to make sure Gorgug stays up, Fabian constantly baiting enemies to attack him, Riz compelling Kalina to duel etc.); and try to tell me that seeing Gorgug, who's been regularly taking so much damage to for them, whose Rage has been nothing but protective, who's been fucking manipulated by Porter, his fucking teacher, to stray away from that, held unconscious (and on the verge of death, let's be fucking honest) in said teachers fist would not send that protectiveness into overdrive. And then the battle isn't just Protective Rage vs Aggressive Rage; no, it's now also Rage without Protectiveness vs Protectiveness without Rage. And in the end, Protectiveness will win, if only for the fact that it makes determination that much stronger; to quote a fanfic "Love can be even more terrifying than fear itself" because yeah, some of them are under the frightened condition from Porter; but they all love each other more than they are afraid of him. And I think that would be beautiful (and also still squash Porters theory that protectiveness isn't powerful)

[iwillneverforgiveyousunghanbin]

love lies licky

~masterlist~ wc: 2k reader: afab!reader — reader is supposed to be like kristen stewart in love lies bleeding. you get the picture warnings: smut 18+; MINORS DNI!!! -- specific warnings under the cut; also mentions of crime/drugs/violence but no real specifics, just a backdrop; bad relationships with fathers summary: 80’s crime/city noir AU — reader is the owner of a seedy but successful gym and prettyrichboy!ricky walks in one night inquiring about a membership -- inspired by 2024 film love lies bleeding starring kstew and katy o'brian devastated by how long it too me to post something. truly sorry about that. i literally love you all so much!! enjoy.

EXPLICIT 18+ SMUT WARNINGS: oral (reader receiving), public sex, a little bit of stalking/watching, mentions of crime/drugs/violence, etc. but not overly dark— just a fun backdrop

—

three.

two.

one.

it’s the kid across from you that just finished his set, but somehow you’re the one out of breath. black hair pushed back except for a few strands that have fallen into his eyes. a heart monitor band around his growing bicep as he places the free weights back onto the rack. veins popping from his slender wrists.

it’s at this moment you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror— jaw dropped as you recline back on the leg press. how long had you been sitting there?

you stand up, wondering if he’s noticed you yet. wouldn’t be the first time you’d snuck a glance in the past week. and it’s not like he’d called you out on it before.

and even if he did, you had a pretty good cover. you own the gym. as far as a legal defense, you’re just an extra attentive fitness manager.

keeping an eye out for your most interesting patron.

you make your way over to the front desk, reminded of some new member paperwork you’d been neglecting to file for a few hours. you should probably finish that before closing.

and you have every intention to do just that. but a particular exhale suddenly comes from the other side of the room. and it’s just out of your hands.

you set your stack of papers aside, walking back out onto the gym floor. you spot him instantly: on the leg press you’d previously been watching him from. he’s got a good amount of weight on it.

you’re actually concerned it might be too much.

when he’d first signed up for your gym a couple months ago, you’d actually fought the urge to laugh straight in his face. not to be misunderstood— he was a handsome kid. a tall, thin figure dressed in a designer coat with a pretty face to match. one that didn’t like to get roughed up much. he could be a runway model. or one of those cute teeny bopper boys that your niece likes.

buy your gym had a bit of reputation. it wasn’t really a place for boys like him. it was rough around the edges. maybe even a little seedy. but it’s where every bodybuilder went to get the best winning physique. results guaranteed.

“hi,” he’d said quietly with a polite smile. you frowned, removing your headphones off of only one ear.

“we don’t have a public restroom,” you’d replied, popping a mid-size bubblegum bubble in his face. “sorry.”

“oh no, uh,” he stuttered, hand reaching to scratch the back of his neck. “i wanted to sign up for a membership.”

wide eyes was an understatement. you couldn’t believe what’d just come out of his mouth. this little rich boy thought he could just waltz into your gym and join? did he really think he could survive that?

“get lost, kid,” you said, smacking your blue bubblegum. “you’re in over your head. how ‘bout you try one of those luxury gyms around the corner? probably more your style.”

he shook his head fervently. “no, wait! i—... i wanna join this gym.”

you raised an eyebrow at him. “yeah? and why the hell would you wanna do that?”

“because i want to do this,” he replied, brow furrowed in determination. “i wanna prove that i can do this.”

you stared at him for a long moment. you’d had a lot of people beg to join your gym before. and you’d had no problem showing them all the door. but there was something about this kid. you couldn’t tell if you wanted to watch him fail or succeed.

an exasperated sigh left your lungs as you pulled open your desk drawer and threw a booklet of paperwork at him. “fine. but i am not responsible for any injuries— physical, emotional, spiritual, medical, or financial— that you incur while at the gym.”

“financial?” he repeated warily.

“take a look around,” you said, gesturing to the worse-for-wear gym. “padlock your belongings all you want, but if someone here wants into your locker, they’re getting in. and if you walk around looking like that, you might as well just tattoo a giant target on your back.”

he looked down at the ground, swallowing nervously before meeting your gaze again. “understood.”

you couldn’t help but laugh. maybe he was just some rich shit looking for cheap steroids. he’d find that and more at your gym. you didn’t really care. but as you picked up a pen and handed it to him, his eyes lit up with excitement.

“what’s your name, kid?” you asked, taking a sip of the warm beer you’d left out on the welcome desk.

he looked up from the paperwork he was rapidly filling out, smiling as he answered...

“ricky.”

—

you hadn’t paid much attention to him at first. you figured he’d last a week at your gym at best. and you’d predicted accurately how that week would go. he was mugged three days in a row, approached to buy drugs persistently every half hour, and even took a pretty nasty punch to the gut from one of your best patrons: a heavyweight world champion powerlifter named steve.

but when monday rolled around the next week, you were taken aback to see ricky walking through the doors at 10 p.m. sharp.

he gave you a little wave. you nodded at him confusedly.

and then he went straight to work. just like he did the next night. and the next night. until two months had suddenly gone by.

and wouldn’t you know it— all of that hard work had begun to actually pay off. his arm muscles had grown significantly and his chest had broadened as well. of course, he was never gonna be the size of the regular bodybuilders in your gym. they were all on lethal amounts of steroids anyway.

but he looked... good. and you found his dedication to be kind of admirable. he was tougher than you ever could’ve imagined.

so after a couple months, you’d started moseying over from your welcome desk or whatever machine you were using to offer some help. maybe it was form correction or a spot or just some lackluster encouragement, but he seemed grateful to receive whatever it was you were willing to give him.

“if you don’t keep those fucking knees bent,” you’d corrected, lit cigarette in between your fingers and blue bubblegum twisted around your tongue.

“sorry, sorry,” ricky apologized, correcting his form immediately. “it’s just harder like this.”

“i bet it is, kid,” you’d replied, shaking your head. “thought you’d gotten stronger, but i guess not.”

“i have and you know it,” he protested, rolling his eyes. you smirk at him as he catches your eye in the mirror. “and i’m not a kid. i’m three years younger than you.”

“you’re a kid as long as you’re still living on daddy’s money,” you said, clucking your tongue disapprovingly. “some of us don’t even have a dad.”

the weight dropped from ricky’s hand, crashing onto the floor with a bang. he looked around awkwardly, picking it back up and mumbling, “sorry.”

“what? did that make you uncomfortable?” you asked, taking a drag. “figures. why’d you even sign up for this gym in the first place?”

ricky finished his set, placing the weights down on the ground carefully. “this is the gym you go to if you want the best results.”

“it certainly is,” you agreed with a smile. “but i assume you’d never been to a place on the wrong side of town like this before. like a baby deer in headlights, is what i’d call it.”

he shook his head. “you’re right. i guess i hadn’t. but i wanted to prove i could do this. and i thought this was my only shot.”

“you said that before,” you remarked with a frown. “‘prove i could do this’. why would you of all people have anything to prove to anyone?”

ricky shrugged. “just because i have a father, doesn’t mean he was happy to have me.”

after a moment, you huffed a laugh. “alright, kid. i get it.”

“and i also heard the owner of this gym was a total smokeshow,” he added, walking over to the water fountain and leaving you behind.

you fight a smile. “and?”

“and i wasn’t disappointed.”

—

you sit down on a raised utility bench, straddling it as you observe ricky at the leg press. it might be your fault he’d increased the weight so much— you’d been telling him to put some more emphasis on growing his leg muscles for a few days now. not that he didn’t already have good legs, but it’d be a shame if all the upper body work made him unproportional.

he’s handling it surprisingly well. good enough form to get him through a set. you watch as a bead of sweat drips down the side of his face.

and gasp softly when you unconsciously grind into the bench your straddling.

you’d like to claim you couldn’t help it. that it was a little mistake that you’d never make again. that you cared at all about being professional.

but you can’t. because you’re pressing yourself back into the cushion of the seat in a matter of seconds.

blame hormones. blame the time on the clock. blame the two beers you’d chugged within a half hour of each other or the adrenaline from the fight you broke up earlier in the night.

but the truth is, it’s his fault. it’s all him.

you look up from the cushion beneath you, expecting to see him completing his set, but instead, he’s sitting reclined on the machine— an amused expression on his face as he stares back at you.

“what muscles are you targeting over there?” he asks, one eyebrow raised. “pelvic floor?”

your mouth hangs open, not really sure what you could possibly say to deflect this situation.

ricky stands up, walking over to you carefully with his arms folded across his chest. “you know, that’s why i like this place so much. a lot of gyms are run by some corporate fuck who’s never even touched the equipment. but even the owner of this gym’s dedication to fitness is truly inspiring.”

“it was my dad’s gym,” you admit suddenly. “he willed it to me when he died.”

ricky looks at you thoughtfully before snorting. “i bet he’d be proud to see you using the equipment to its full potential.”

“i don’t care what he’d think,” you replied, shaking your head. “he’s dead.”

ricky smiles at this as he sinks to his knees in front of you. “lucky.”

he raises his brow quickly, asking for permission as his hands hover over your thighs. you nod slowly until his palms sink into your soft skin, kneading then gruffly. you push yourself closer to him, spreading your legs to show him where you really want him.

“a little desperate, hm?” ricky asks with a smirk, pushing his long fingers up the gaps of your short-shorts all the same. “don’t let any of these meatheads ever take you for a spin?”

“s’unprofessional,” you answer as he hooks his fingers around the waistband of your shorts and pulls them down your legs— discarding them onto the gym floor.

you were never wearing any underwear.

“oh yeah? well what would you call what you’re doing right now?” he asks, pushing you gently down until your back is flat against the bench. hands gripping your thighs, he inches in closer until his lips finally connect with your core. “you know there’s still people in here right?”

you look around at the lingering gym members still pushing through their workouts. fuck ‘em, you think as you sigh contentedly. “i’d call it understandable.”

he grins before diving into you, lapping at all the wetness that’s already gathered at your opening for him. he takes it on his tongue, bringing it to your most sensitive area and swirling persistent circles around it.

you’re whimpering and you couldn’t be more surprised. the pretty boy gives good head? you thought guys like him usually used their money as foreplay instead.

your hands reach instinctively for his biceps, admiring up close how much he’s improved his own physique. they look even better wrapped around your legs, though.

you give them a squeeze and ricky’s lips pop off of you with a smack. the corner of his lips upturns cheekily, your juices dripping from his chin.

“not too bad, right?” he asks, eyes shining as he seeks your approval. “for a guy like me, i mean?”

you smile, running a hand through his hair and tugging at the roots. “not too bad at all.”

the reassurance lights up his face as he continues lapping at your heat with renewed passion. your climax approaches rapidly as he switches to sucking— the steady, quick suction on your clit sending you over the edge.

“fuck, oh my god,” you whine, your grip tightening around ricky’s arm as your thighs squeeze him closer to you. “i—… m’cumming.”

“fucking gorgeous,” he moans into your cunt as you ride out your high. a few deep breaths and you sit up, looking at the mess dripping from you and onto the bench. you can guarantee it’s not the first time thay bench has been covered in someone’s cum.

ricky hands you the container of sanitary wipes on the bench next to yours.

“don’t you think we should wait until we’re all done?” you ask with a smirk, eyeing the bulge that’s grown in his shorts.

but to your surprise, ricky shakes his head and stands up from the floor— walking back over to the leg press.

“back to work,” he says with a grin. “these hamstrings aren’t gonna build themselves. maybe you should get some work done, too.”

why that little shit—

you grab your cutoff denim shorts off the ground, grabbing the pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the back pocket.

if this kid wants to play…

you’ll just have to play, too.

[mariacallous]

I LOVED this article. Leslie Gray Streeter expresses it perfectly.

https://www.thebaltimorebanner.com/opinion/column/kamala-harris-no-press-interviews-OPD4MAXYKRB4XJHB2TFB6ZJX6Q/

Since becoming the presumptive Democratic candidate for president, Vice President Kamala Harris has done myriad public appearances and given speeches but has not, as of this writing, talked to journalists outside a brief session on the tarmac before a flight.

I’m a journalist and have been for more than half my life. And you know what? I don’t blame her one bit.

Because of her refusal to sit for an interview with any print or broadcast media, Harris has been the target of a lot of indignant insistence that she change her mind — that she’s not giving the American public answers they deserve. Critics say she’s subverting an expected system that all other elected officials have gone through. They say she’s hiding behind a wall of hype and “irrational exuberance” that is proof she lacks the toughness to hold the office she seeks.

Be ever so real, y’all. You know that quote, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”? It would be insane to subject yourself to unfettered questions by an industry that doesn’t seem to know how to handle interviews with true journalistic integrity and practices. Why beat your head against a wall you know is made of brick and disinformation?

Harris has seen a media landscape that arguably legitimized soon-to-be-President Donald Trump as a normal candidate when he was sowing seeds of unrest, writing about him agreeing to accept the 2016 election results, “if I win,” and then denying those results in 2020 with not an nth of the absolute pushback and condemnation it deserved. She saw, as we all did, major outlets referring to obvious racist attacks by the current Republican nominee and others as “racially tinged” and to blatant bloody lies as “falsehoods” and “misstatements.”

The vice president recently approached the press gaggle with a deliberately direct “Whatcha got?” That is the same thing my late daddy used to ask me point-blank when I’d been calling and calling and he knew I wanted something. The reporters had been clamoring for this. And their response? A bunch of requests for a response to crazy stuff Trump said about her.

This is the same industry that initially wrote presidential fanfic pondering replacement candidates that weren’t Harris. Then, when President Joe Biden stepped down from the race and named her as his chosen successor, they compiled panels ruminating on Trump’s assertions about her racial identity. Fox News has gone on the attack about her every day, but she’s being called a coward for not agreeing to a debate on that network in front of an arena of opposing fans.

Yeah, no. She is not, as we say in my culture, Boo Boo the Fool, nor is she, as she’s stated, falling for the okey-doke. Would you rush to sit down to withstand more of that foolishness? I would not. Despite the protestations of several writers from traditional media absolutely aghast at her avoidance of them, the truth is that Kamala Harris doesn’t need them.

Just as Trump has flocked to friendly outlets like Fox and a live conversation on X with app owner Elon Musk (or what Harris’ team referred to as “whatever that was”), Harris has done speeches at a rally in North Carolina and last week in Prince George’s County, and she has her savvy and very online comms team to get her message out. It’s smart, because most outlets have proven they don’t know how to approach her.

The vice president has expressed interest in setting something up, but I wouldn’t be shocked if she sidesteps your Dana Bashes and Kristen Welkers and does something inventive. If I were her, I’d talk to MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell, who has himself been critical of media colleagues, including his own network.

Maybe she should completely pivot and do something fun like “Hot Ones,” where she can answer policy questions while eating spicy wings. Talk to Teen Vogue. Do podcasts. Hang out with “The Real Housewives of Potomac.” I know these sound like lightweight options, but are any of these suggestions less weighty than Harris’ opponent, who bleats lies and racism on his own app, or his approved media partners who go on about Harris’ laugh, dating history and heritage? It’s all a circus. I say make your own big top.

And if madam vice president decides to talk to the traditional media, be it the New York Times or CNN, I think she should only do so with interviewers who have proven themselves to have cultural competency about race, gender, historically Black colleges and universities, the Divine 9 Greek system, step parenting and being a baddie in the 1990s. I’m not saying it has to be a friendly person like Trump seeks, but it does have to be someone who respects Harris enough as a candidate to do research and not spend the whole time asking gotcha questions about her opponent’s lies. Heck, I’ll do it! I know this is a long shot, but at least I know what okey-doke means.

I am excited for Harris’ future media choices because they are sure to be unprecedented, just like her candidacy. And it’s going to be on her terms. Everyone gets to set theirs, after all.

[wizardshark]

For the DnD nerds who care about the rules a lot:

This is a 1 on 1 fight that contains 3 rounds. You win one fight, you go to the next round. At the start of the tournament everyone has taken a long rest, and between each round they get only a short rest.

Propaganda both for AND against in the readmore.

Adaine Abernant

For: Wizards have been the strongest class since 1st edition and it ain't changing now baby. One portent roll for each fight is enough to guarantee a turn to cast a wizard save-or-suck spell.

Against: This girl killed one person ONE time and had a break down about it, has frequent panic attacks, and her AC is 15. She has no real defensive options and will die as all wizards die: with an axe in their nervous system.

Fabian Aramais Seacaster

For: Short rests? Sounds like a fighter's adventuring day! Three attacks + superiority dice + spell slot smiting + Action surge to do it again is killing everyone but Gorgug before they can even get a turn.

Against: Melee fighters, famously, can't do shit all if you stand over there ->, and a single reroll for a save-or-suck isn't going to be very much against any spellcaster who, dare I say, casts more than 1 (that is, one) spell in the fight. Insult his dad and bait him into doing something stupid, GG EZ

Figueroth Faeth

For: Literal archdemon resists the biggest energy damage types, tons of spell slots and warlock shenanigans to play you like a fiddle, then smite you to death when you're finally just trying to get anything done.

Against: "I have no single target DAMAGE" - quote from Emily. This bitch got no single target damage and these are 1 v 1 fights. Yeah Paladins can nova but they have no spell slot regeneration, after the first fight, which you KNOW she will spam her whole arsenal, girl will be all out of resources. More likely to disguise self to be the referee and skateboard away.

Gorgug Thistlespring

For: Did you see him solo a purple worm in the last stand?? Able to concentrate on artificer spells while in a rage too. THE classic 1v1 class, resists your damage and crits you every turn.

Against: Single minded to the extreme. Spellcasting is the classic counter to an angy barbarian. Yeah he has mindless rage, poor Fig, but anyone with any CC that isn't a charm effect won't even give him a target to try to charge down. Mention his parent's lawnmower and defeat him while he is distracted.

Kristen Applebees

For: Clerics are strong! We can pretend all we like that healers are boring but she can hit you hard and keep herself topped out on HP, AC, Save bonuses, and do you in with spirit guardians and spiritual weapon with no problem. You see the muscles on that girl? The gay one, I mean, not the straight british one.

Against: 4 dexterity

Riz "The Ball" Gukgak

For: These bitches are BLIND blind. Reliable talent stealth checks puts him above 20 every time. Sneak attack damage won't explode anyone but the most squishy, but is extremely reliable with a bonus action hide. He will eat your bones.

Against: Actual skill monkey. He has a cool gun but he's an arcane trickster built for non-combat. Investigate an arm around his neck and pickpocket a knife into his belly and you've got the win easy. Man couldn't even get onto the owl bears until there was no one left to swap in except him. Will probably be too exhausted to put up a good fight.

[allwormdiet]

Extermination 8.1

Jesus Christ. Okay. Let's get this going.

Y'know, I wonder if Taylor might be cynical about human nature or something, weird

Hey Dragon, very cool to meet you in the chrome.

Aww, she's starstruck

Hey Weld, cool to meet you, wish it was under less dire circumstances

See, the nice thing about the Empire showing up to an Endbringer fight is that the Endbringer can then massacre a bunch of fucking Nazis. Totally victimless deaths, and no hand-wringing about whether it's right or wrong to take them down.

If I was giving performance notes to Leviathan for this showing I would have to criticize that he didn't kill more of them, frankly

Hey kids, sorry some of you are about to get slaughtered in a fight you're way underqualified for

Hey Panacea, I'll see you later when you decide to exacerbate Skitter's paranoia in revenge for the bank job and make this arc go from bad to worse for her

So I know Legend is publicly gay from fandom osmosis, but what I don't know in this moment is whether Wildbow had decided on that beforehand and Taylor is currently ogling a gay dude, or if he decided on it after writing this. I guess it doesn't strictly matter, but it leaves me curious how much of this was laid out in advance, especially with some other writing decisions that are gonna come up this arc

So Myrddin straight up has a wizard gimmick and that's kind of wild, but not nearly as wild as the fact that a Protectorate cape apparently flew off the handle sufficiently far enough to yell a racial slur multiple times in public. Like holy shit that is some radioactive PR.

Also, while you do not in fact have to hand it to the Empire Eighty-Eight, it is very funny of Kaiser to taunt Bastion like this

So that's the Triumvirate rounded out, and... how to put this. There's something that's almost sweet about Taylor's thoughts diverting to think about the "who would win" discussions about heroes. Like, I dunno, it's a cute insight into the world. Maybe she used to have those conversations with Emma back when they were younger.

Y'know, I'm constantly wary of government-employed superheroes as a concept, but frankly i think a corporate superhero team is even more hair-raising. The Christian superheroes could break in either direction, either they're genuinely good people who take their faith seriously or they're just self-righteous pukes. Knowing the general tone of this story, I'd be surprised if it was the first one.

Hey Parian, hey Flechette, looking forward to your later contributions

What the hell is Bambina's deal, even. Does she have some kinda thing going on like Babydoll from BTAS, or what. I don't know if I've heard the name come up before.

Grue, Regent, c'mon now

Also yeah Taylor, I think you sufficiently scared the absolute bejeezus out of Sundancer when you made this story really earn a content warning for eye horror.

Okay so I did not realize that Narwhal was gonna have a goddamn exhibitionist thing going on here, what the hell. Can you just get away with whatever as long as you're not showing your nipples or genitals? Did it truly never come up that she could maybe wear pants to cover up a little bit?

So I knew previously that Legend is a notoriously poor public speaker, but the fact that he just straight up says "best case scenario twenty-five percent of you are dead before sunset" is ridiculous. Kristen Applebees could give a more inspiring speech than this.

Everyone in that room must be questioning their life choices tbh

Current Thoughts

I know they all volunteered, and I know that there's a protectiveness that comes with fighting for your hometown, but Jesus Christ there should be an age limit for fighting Endbringers. Signing up the teenagers to fight Nazis is already a bit rough, but the kaiju who is going to kill a bunch of them feels like someone should have pulled them back. It might technically have been the wrong decision given how critical kids like Flechette and Skitter end up being, but at least then I'd feel less judgmental of the people running this show.

Anyhow. God Taylor just keeps ending up being lonely, huh? Can't escape it, poor girl.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 18

Oisin’s Family Reunion 

Welcome back to Fantasy High where it’s election night and there’s a storm a-brewin. Last we left off, pretty much every student at Aguefort (plus Ragh, Jawbone, and a hidden Eugenia Shadow) was at Seacaster Manor which Riz realized was tactically unwise right as Seacaster Manor was suddenly ripped from its foundations into the sky. 

Luckily, Seacaster Manor is still a working pirate ship with a ton of functioning canons, plus a ton of shields and other protective mojo put up by Aelwyn. Unfortunately, there’s a lot to worry about here:

Kristen is a shoe-in to win the election BUT that’s only if they can get everyone to vote and get the votes to school in time. This is complicated by the fact that–

Everyone will freak out if they realize what’s happening and if they freak out, they won’t vote. 

There’s a lot to be freaked out about, the first of which is that those ping pong balls Oisin left were a sort of homing beacon that’s drawing the attention of the NIghtmare King. When Kristen looks outside, she can see the storm has taken on the visage of the Nightmare King and it’s like they’re in his hand, being wound up to be thrown for a fastball. Total party foul. 

Seacaster Manor is a boat, but not an airship and it doesn’t have flight capabilities because Oisin got Adaine’s Mephits to break the Cloud Rider Engine during that first house party months ago. This is a problem both because they need to Not Crash but also ideally they need to be able to steer to get the ballots to the school.

Complicating things even further, they have another nasty present from Oisin to contend with–a whole horde of dragons, including big grandma blue herself!

So, yeah! Tons to contend with in this episode. Some good news though: In the center of town, they can see a shock of red lightning go up into the sky and then fizzle. The Rat Grinders are performing their little Porter promotion ceremony but it’s not working because they don’t have Ankarna’s name. Equally good news, Fig’s steed now had a name courtesy of Murph: Gerard Neigh!

The Bad Kids leap into action, both doing damage control on the party and controlling heaps of damage directed at the dragons gunning for them. Fig (who is actually in Wanda form right now so idk how this is working exactly lol) convinces everyone that this is just a sick music video that’s being filmed at the party while Gorgug and Sprek (aviation Goblin) get the Cloud Rider Engine running. Adaine is predictably SO excited to get to help with the canons (along with helping Fig) and Fabian gets people to vote. He also gets his surprise tattoo from Eugenia. Riz is using his insane action economy (boosted by Haste) to run those cannons like he’s in the navy. And Kristen (with help from K2) is keeping everyone up as they are buffeted by winds, physical attacks, and dragon breath weapons. 

Though this is a wild episode, not much happens plot wise so here are some standout moments:

Gorgug is still living in crit city and putting anyone who doubted his multiclass to shame.

Fig has Adaine strap GoPros on vultures to film this fake music video which she will probably turn into a real music video at some point. Maximum Legend Behavior. 

Adaine, in one of her coolest moments ever, blasts a dragon with a cannon then runs to the deck and one shots a blue dragon by punching its lights out. Defeating enemies by hitting them with her fists and shooting them with guns. The Adaine school of wizardry. 

At one point Kipperlilly, Jace, and Oisin Invisibly jump onto the deck from grandma’s back (which Adaine and Gorgug can see because of various magical effects, though they pretend like they can’t). Gorgug has to make two Wis Saves and he rolls 22 on both. Seemingly nothing happens and they use a Rune of Recall to teleport away. The Bad Kids figure that they were trying to mind read Gorgug to get Ankarna’s actual name. 22 is pretty high but we don’t know if it actually worked or not. 

Riz gets to add yet ANOTHER ancient dragon to his kill list as he cannonballs Oisin’s grandma out of the sky. Yikes my man. You’re probably out of the will now. 

At a certain point of the fight, Baxter the griffon shows up to meet then WITHOUT Sandra Lynn riding him which is *concerning* but we don’t get more info than that in this ep. Best case scenario, Sandra Lynn just sent him solo to help because she was busy with things on the ground but still wanted to send air support. Worst case scenario–we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

The last big thing that happens in this ep is the moment that broke Brennan and, I’m gonna be honest, as silly as it is it feels like business as usual from Ally to me (though I do understand why it would break a man--several years into the careful crafting of his world--who has been filming for 9 straight hours in a warehouse in Los Angeles). Kristen tries to make a Divine Intervention roll and fails. Then K2 tries to make a Divine Intervention roll–which she does by looking into the clouds and saying, “Blimey” in Ally’s atrocious British accent and THAT one succeeds. This is compounded by the fact that Brennan said that if this works, K2 will be vaporized and Ally randomly adding in that K2 is pregnant with Fabian’s child (which Lou both vehemently vetoes and also plays along with to mess with Brennan)

Brennan fully leaves the dome (Zac takes over for a few minutes) and then storms back in and declares that as weird Wizard clones, simulacrum are just made of stem cells and always test positive for pregnancy because of that. Then, he tells everyone to just wipe the past ten minutes from their mind so he can have some semblance of order for the end of the episode. 

The successful Divine Intervention brings Cass back to herself for a moment and Seacaster Manor flies into the maw of cloud Cass. They appear back in Elmville but everything is now an eerie red and lightning strikes fill the sky. Looks like another end of the year apocalypse!  If Riz doesn’t get into college after this the school board is gonna have to fight *me*.

Detention 

Eugenia Shadow for Giving Fabian a Secret Tattoo of a Ghost With Hairy Legs Showing Hole

Obviously I wanna give it to Oisin for siccing his grandma on his entire school and taunting my girl Adaine but she didn’t give him the time of day so neither will I. Instead, I’m giving it to Eugenia for the insane moving tattoo that Fabian will have to corral back into his otherwise lovely clock tattoo every day. Bonkers behavior. 

Honor Roll

Gorgug for Flying a House Full of Students With No Training and No Casualties 

And he wasn’t sure he could do it. Way to step up Gorgug!!!

Rat Grinder Notes

We still don’t have specifics on what actually happened to Lucy and how the Rat Grinders got involved with this mess in the first place. We have some guesses but nothing concrete and some options definitely make them more sympathetic than others. 

Tossing a house with ALL YOUR CLASSMATES INSIDE OF IT is such an unhinged move. I don’t know how nuanced Brennan meant for the Rat Grinders to be but man it’s hard to want anything for them besides a swift ass kicking followed by jail when they’re pulling shit like this AND we’re not getting anything mitigating to make us feel bad for them (ie: Aelwyn’s shitty home life or Ragh being manipulated by Dayne). Fascinated to know if they’re in a state where they can be “snapped out” of it or if they’re basically lucid but with heightened emotions (in the same vein of, “The shitty things you do and say when drunk are still your fault/responsibility). 

My updated list on how much I wanna see these kids get embarrassed in this fight are Oisin and Kipperlilly at the top followed by Ivy. Mary Ann I truly have no opinion on. Ruben I am warmer on than the rest but that’s admittedly because Fig has put time into investigating him and it’s entirely possible the rest of the RG’s would seem more sympathetic if the BK’s dug more into them. And then Buddy dead last because he’s pretty clearly a pawn here. Like he has other stuff to work through but the current apocalypse is not his fault and he doesn’t deserve to be lumped in with the rest of them. In fairness, Porter (+Jace) deserves to get smacked down more than any of them as the adult mastermind behind this but that’s not the list I was making. 

Random Thoughts

This is a side thing but I love that Aelwyn spent a ton of high level spell slots warding up Seacaster Manor. (She also made Fabian a cursed coin that would summon the gold tornado from Freshman Year if broken but he never used it.) She’s helping!  

Lmao at Murph being called in as the expert on honoring the cock and just being resigned to cock(ed dice) inspection. 

It was casually mentioned that Bucky might believe in Cass a bit which I'm mentioning in case it comes up later.

I love Brennan letting Gorgug use his Great Weapons Fighting feature while using the boat as a weapon. That’s such a shenanigan and Zac wasn’t even asking for it. 

I bet the Rat Grinders targeted Gorgug for the name/mind reading thing because they thought he was the dumbest one in the group. Newsflash! He’s been smart this whole time! Greatest Wizard of our Age! 

Being all, “Other kids at this school have it easier than me and it’s not fair,” and then having your trust fund baby friend send his ancient dragon grandma to attack everyone at your school so you can win an election is such loser behavior.   

Sending dragons to attack the kids who killed a dragon their first year of school and have just gotten cooler and more powerful since then seems like a profoundly shortsighted decision. Why not put their loved ones in danger like in Family in Flames if you want them out of the way? Like, they’re gonna be SO MUCH more mad at you when they inevitably come for you but it might actually slow them down whereas this did not at all. 

I imagine this is going to be a Promocalypse-esque situation where despite this being a school of adventurers, the Bad Kids aren’t gonna get much help from the rest of the student body but I hope they can at least get some cleric heals or pearls of power something before they have to go into this next fight because yeesh. 

I hope Adaine remembers that Oisin has a thing to steal control of summons because she’s been getting into summons heavily this season. 

I’m really curious to know how this fight will play out. Like if it will have a heavy RP element or not. Because if the Bad Kids had bonded with the RG’s in any way (besides the weird obsession w/ Mary Ann and whatever the hell is going on with “Wanda” and Ruben lol) I could see there being a lot of persuasion roles to try and get them to stop what they were doing. But as the story stands, this is coming off of the back of the Rat Grinders sending DRAGONS to THROW THE HOUSE THEY WERE IN. If I were them I would NOT be like, “Let’s talk it out.” I’m like, “OK cool, they can’t be reasoned with,” and casting my most devastating spell at the highest level. Of course, I much prefer combat eps when they have RP but I don’t know that the story so far has been conducive to that. We’ll see! 

[number1rizgukgakstan]

FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR FINALE PART 2 LIVEBLOG: SPOILERS AHEAD

ITS GAME TIME BABY! :D I'm so ready for this. LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

Spoilers Under The Cut!

GOD their outfits are so fucking cool. I love their bullying of Brennan. it's so great I love it. I CANT BELIEVE THEY DIDNT TELL HIM thats so funny.

"I spent 217 dollars at Hot Topic" Real for that Siobhan.

I would have KILLED for Brennan in Emo Kid Clothes but alas. Some other time.

FABIAN'S ABOUT TO DO THE COOLEST FUCKING THING :DDD

MIRRORS??? MIRRORS?? ROMAENCE PARTNER APPEARANCE MAYBE??? MAYBE??? MAYBE??? It'd be so funny

That dice span for SO FUCKING LONG oh my god. The dice are FEELING IT today.

Fabian pushing Jace into the lava is maybe the funniest use of Brennan's own fucking encounter design against him. I love it.

18 D10???? EIGHTEEN??? INSANE.

"I served Rueben up a plate of redemption arc and he fucking cast a ninth level spell on it" is great.

"AHHH I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED A LITTLE BIT" beautiful final words for the duplicate

Ohhhh Jace is being HIVE-MINDED. He's just a minion. Damn.

WAIT. SO ONCE THE RAGESTARS ARE GONE, THEY COULD PROBABLY BE SAVED RIGHT??? Ratgrinders might get to go away, maybe?

Oh god if Kristen gets rage-starred they're seriously fucked,,, thank god it didn't happen.

MAZEY NOOOOOOOO.

"I mean I don't Hate it" NOT THE TIME FABIAN

They're already two people down [sobs]

OH MY GOD PORTER REALLY FUCKING HATES GORGUG HOLY SHIT. He's so fucking scary actually.

Oh god I'm so worried ANKARNA NOOOOOO

RIZ'S FUCKING PLAN IS INSANE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Murph the GENIUS YOU ARE. The fact that it did ONE HUNDRED AND SIX DAMAGE is absurd.

"VERY GOOD ON PAPER BUT NO PRACTICAL APPLICATION" OUCH!

SHE'S NOT EVEN RAGE-STARRED??? SHE WAS DOING THIS WILLINGLY?? HOLY SHIT MOST COMPELLING VILLAIN EVER. SHE REALLY IS JUST THAT FULL OF HATE. #1 HATER. I LOVE IT.

Mary-Ann CHOOSING to take the damage is absurd. We stan a dedicated queen.

Oh god three people down is worrying. I'm sure they'll pull through.

ANOTHER CLUTCH SCATTER FROM ADAINE!

God, Brennan's homebrew spell coming back to bite him is SO funny.

GET FUCKED JACE YOU LITTLE BITCH!

ARTHUR AGUEFORT'S CONTINGENCY MEASURE IS SO FUNNY.

Killing KLCK fucking over Jace and Porter is incredibly funny. Turns out Rage does not make for Good Planning.

LOWEST INT BITCHES AS YOUR LEADERS IS SO FUNNY

"I really can't I tried" GOD jace is such a stupid fucking sorcerer I love him.

Jace failing to Bigby's Hand Adaine into the lava and then fighting with Porter is amazing. Peak. ANOTHER CLUTCH NAT 20 FOR GORGUG! The gym really is pulling things off for them.

"He just rolled a 4" in the most defeated voice ever is so fucking funny. This is what happens when half your villain party has shitty strength.

"eat this gizard and get the fuck up" God I love Brennan's random ass magic items. It's great.

"You might still be trapped in a Burning Elmville with a raging giant" So an average Tuesday in Solace?

Honoring the Cock and Getting a Nat 1- the Dimension 20 Way

Fig's tricky little Shatter is my favorite tactic in her toolbox. And her getting 40 damage of shatter is ABSURD, even if her rolling them one by one is nerve-wracking.

SIXTY-NINE FIRE DAMAGE :D

SO IF BUDDY COMES BACK HE JUST FUCKING DROPS STRAIGHT INTO THE LAVA??

BAKUR BABY!!!!!!! LET'S HOPE HE'S NOT EVIL!

He doesn't have his own mini so he's basically just That Guy

Bakur might choose to join either side so let's see :eyes eyes eyes:

GOD I love Fabian and his clutch rolls. BAKUR and ALLIES!

SQUEEEEEEEM!!! FUCK YEAH!! SQUEEM! AND HE BROUGHT THE CORTADOS. BALTHAZAR'S BACK!!!!! HOLY SHIT??? I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU BUT I LOVE YOU!

YOU GOT YOUR HEALS! GET A CORTADO AND JOIN THE PARTY SQUEEEEM!

Mary-Anne rolling a nat 1 is so funny i'm losing it. Clutch ass cutting words. The Hangman is winning!

Fabian and Mazey are SO cute. They deserve the fucking world. ITS ALL LOVE NOW!!!!

The value of protective anger,,,, the strength of love and light and the desire to combat those who would hurt the ones you love,,, Brennan Lee Mulligan you are a genius

ANOTHER K2 BLIMEY NAT 20??? THE DICE ARE THE REAL HEROES OF THIS STORY. It's fucking. It's so fucking funny. I'm literally crying.

Zac in the DM's seat again is making me laugh so hard.

Brennan actually packing up behind them is so funny. He's really committed to the bit.

"She's about to become a normal person" this is actually tragic when you think about it. Luckily, K2 is in a comedy show, so it's going to be funny instead.

"This spell is MEANT to be comedic" yeah it's literally a fucking snowman.

OH MY GOD. CASSANDRA MADE K2 A REAL PERSON???? HOLY SHIT THIS IS SOME PINOCCHIO LEVEL BULLSHIT IM ECSTATIC. OR LIKE, FROSTY THE SNOWMAN???

"Unsleeping City K2???" I WANT THIS

K2 is now a human cleric and she's fucking real. Holy shit she's fucking real.

GOD THE MOMENT WITH CASSANDRA AND BAKUR IS SO FUCKING COOL.

BALTHAZAR GOT FUCKING DISINTEGRATED [sobs] GOODBYE SWEET MAN WHO NEVER DOES ANYTHING. THE MOST CRINGEFAIL MAN EVER

Oh god the Bad Kids are fucking down again :sobs:

"We're just collecting Barbarians" I love that <3 Barbarians Only

Mazey is definitely an honorary bad kid <3 Epic crits and clutch heals for all!

Fabian and Gorgug have gone down SO MUCH. It's incredible how they keep fucking pulling themselves back up. They are truly living on the edge.

We're halfway through the episode and I am very excited and also a little nervous.

OH THANK GOD SANDRA LYNN'S FINE! :D It's also nice to see Lydia and Ragh! :D

I love how Fig immediately calls back to her mom to help. They're the family ever.

GOD Jawbone's full mini is so fucking cool.

BRENNAN YOU CAD WHERE'S AYDA???????

"All I have to do is be dead and I can roll anything" should be printed on a dice holder FOR SURE

THE FUCKING AGENT IS HERE??? IM LOSING IT

BAXTER IS FIGHTING PORTER??? OH MY GOD

Lydia's wheelchair sliding is actually so fun. I love Brennan taking into account wheelchair physics for his combat. It's always nice to see.

GORGUG HAS A FUCKING FLASHBANG?????? ONCE AGAIN GORGUG'S ABILITIES COME IN CLUTCH.

"is this Justice? Is this a New Dawn?" GOES SO FUCKING HARD???? ADAINE YOU ARE THE COOLEST

BAKUR BACK TO HIS HIGH ELF SELF!!!!

EVERYONE'S GETTING A DIVINE INTERVENTION????? HOLY SHIT.

HOLY SHIT FABIAN DID IT???? FUCK THATS SO COOL. FABIAN, A PROTECTOR, ALONGSIDE ADAINE. THEY ARE THE BEST FRIENDS!

Mazey and Fabian are so sweet. I want them to be in love forever do you hear me???? YOU HEAR ME???

"All the ways you've protected people is what makes you cool" GOD MAZEY GETS IT. FABIAN HAS SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE.

Ankarna, sitting in the bottomless pit; THAT BOY DESERVES TO BE WITH HIS FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. LET ME RISE UP!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH ANKARNA LIVES. SHE FUCKING SLAYS!!! SHE SLAYYYYYYYYYS

Jace getting fucking arrested is the funniest ending for a villain in this show. ITS NOT EVEN THE REAL JACE.

"I WAS HILDA HILDA THE WHOLE TIME!" EMILY THE COMEDIAN THAT YOU ARE!

God this battle was so cool it really did a lot for the Bad Kids as characters.

All of the scenes in the ether were SO GOOD. They really show how strong they've grown, and the strengths of their heart. Their desire to look ahead is built into them, and I love it.

"rebellion without a new dawn to look forward to is just cynical"

"where's the fucking cat" KRISTEN YOU'RE SO FUCKING FUNNY

SQUEEM AND BALTHAZAR HUNTING KALINA IS GREAT

"bring back everyone but Kipperlilly"

"No, just Mary-Ann"

The Bad Kids are great, Funniest people ever, 10/10

"Juicy God Gossip" is such a funny line. Another t-shirt I want.

GOD DAMN IT ARTHUR AGUEFORT WHY ARE YOU JUST NOW SHOWING UP

FORGIVEN, HE BROUGHT AYDA BACK, WE ARE WELL. God their reunion was perfect it was so sweet. And Adaine and Ayda also had a really good moment.

Arthur Aguefort is the single funniest character Brennan has ever written.

Kristen Applebees is going to be the president! HOLY SHIT!

YOLANDA AND LUCY ARE BACK!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!

RATGRINDERS REDEMPTION ARC!!! So they were ALL just possessed. This is a good ending.

Oisin and Ivy should hopefully have a terrible senior year :3

Mary-Ann is so funny and earnest and sweet and I seriously love her. I hope she has a wonderful senior year and nothing bad ever happens to her ever again. ENEMIES TO LOVERS GORGUG AND MARY-ANN WAS NOT ON MY BINGO CARD

Is Gorgug's type just barbarians who can kill him????

GOD all of them are so fucking funny.

Kristen as a Pantheon Type Cleric makes SO MUCH SENSE!!!

Riz switching to tea and embracing change is beautiful. He's so fucking strong. "whatever you choose to do, you're going to be good at it" I love his relationship with his mom so much.

Adaine's mom is being a little bastard in the Nightmare Forest? That's going to be fun to follow up on if they ever do.

"i'd take them to get you" made me SOB. They're THE SISTERS EVER.

"we know what its for, we don't have to talk about it, it wasn't great" IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. Realest teenager moment ever.

HIS MOM SHOWS UP??? CRYING LAUGHING

HOLY SHIT FABIAN'S GRANDAD IS BACK!!

FABIAN's MOM IS ACTUALLY PREGNANT [screaming] THATS SO FUNNY

HIS INFANT SIBLING IS LITERALLY THE NEWEST NEMESIS IM CRYING

"Do you ever talk to Jawbone about any of this?" Mazey's gonna learn her new boyfriend has NO CHILL.

FOUR GOD PANTHEON???? That's going to be SO FUN!!!

Tracker and her girlfriend broke up I'm losing it.

GERTIE DECLARED KRISTEN HER NEMESIS I'm SCREAMING thats so funny. I mean it was intensely funny. It is a bit fucked up she led Gertie on, but that's teenagers for you.

GORGUG AND FIG ARE SO SWEET I'M SOBBING. GORGUG'S GIFTS ARE ADORABLE. THEY ARE THE BEST FRIENDS EVER.

The Thistlesprings are the Most Adoring Parents Ever I love them so much. PROFESSOR THISTLESPRING ARC???? I REALLY HOPE THAT HAPPENS.

"maybe next year i'll be the bad guy?" ARTHUR AGUEFORT I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD.

AYDA AND FIG MOMENT. I LOVE HOW INTENSE AYDA IS. THE GIRLFRIENDS EVER.

Oh my god the Complicated Women Podcast I'm screaming. I love how Sandra Lynn talks about it.

Fig's going to be SUCH a good big sister. Hopefully Fig can help Fabian handle things.

GOD the Hunter's Mark from Sandra Lynn to make sure she can always find her daughter is so sweet. They're the cutest ever.

"Maybe she can just trust that they'll be friends outside of school" GOD I LOVE THAT. Fig is THE BARD EVER.

THE AUTOMATONS HUNTING FIG IS SO FUNNY.

Ayda connected the Bottomless Pit with Leviathin and I'm just sobbing. Her point about learning was so strong and brilliant I love it.

"it's hot tub time!" - GOD THATS SO FUNNY

OH MY GOD BAKARATH IS REAL???? AND KALINA???? THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY. IS BAKARATH GOING TO BE THE FINAL BOSS OF A FUTURE SEASON???

That ending was amazing and I had such a good time. It's bittersweet, but I'm happy I was here. GO BAD KIDS!!

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Kristen Applebees S3 Playlist: Side A

Here's Part 1 of Kristen's Junior Year Playlist, I am obsessed with it so far and will probably continue to be. Descriptions and key lyrics below. Spoilers for Episodes 1-10

Genres include: Pop-Punk, Alternative, Punk, Folk

1. Lavender Bones, Stand Atlantic

I know I'm out of my depth, but I just float in it I try to do my best, stop picking fights with it I wanna be upset, you're not alright with it I can cover it up, I can cover it Try to speak my mind, wish it was by design But I can only confess to having doubts with it Don't wanna feel regret, I'm not alright with it I can cover it up, I can cover it

So this is a perfect background music for the start of a movie about Kristen's life right now and I LOVE finding those songs. It's perfect on so many layers, it talks about feeling trapped, wanting to fix empty habits, and not to mention how "lavender bones" really hits home to my queer little heart. This entire playlist is really a game of guessing when the "you" in songs chosen mean Tracker and when they mean Cassandra, level: impossible

2. Starchild, Sweet Pill

What do you want from me? I am not a charity Work hard at everything Do it all for free What do you want from me? I am not a guarantee Go all or nothing Lose your money ... Set up to win Wind up disappointing everyone In the end I am disappointing mostly myself In the end Hang your Head

I AM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS SONG Guys its like it was written for this very specific situation. AND THE TITLE???? FOR A CLERIC OF THE GODDESS OF MYSTERY, DOUBT, THE NIGHT, AND STARS???????

anyways just please please listen to it its so great like even without the connection to Kristen, go support Sweet Pill they have a new album being released tomorrow (March 15th)

3. Uneeda, Deady

What about the bones The bones have no problem Turn them into ash And this never happened Your ashes big asses Your brains on the pavement Oh no! I can feel myself rot Unless I take your hand

Ok so this is kind of a genre outlier on the playlist since it is very very alt punk but for me it represents the rage at the mall, Kristen's relationship to Cassandra, and both of their respective reactions to what happened. It's very chaotic, but it was a very chaotic situation and I stand by it plus I love adding modern bands to things

4. Bite the Hand, boygenius

I can't hear you You're too far away I can't see you The light is in my face I can't touch you I wouldn't if I could I can't love you how you want me to I can't love you how you want me to

Yeah, sorry had to whip out the queer break-up big guns. I don't feel sorry I feel right.

5. Untitled God Song, Haley Heynderickx

When you're drunk near a sunset, look straight in her eyes She's a quick glimpse of heaven, forgetting her headlights are on When you misread her fortune, don't misread the joke She's the note on your lampshade, the honeycomb holdin' you And she spins me around like a marionette Oh, my web is still spinnin' My web is still spinnin', you can't see it yet

Immediately going from having total contact with a divinity figure to having to grasp for straws once again to a memory you hold onto, literally holding onto the shards of your faith. Having to both embrace doubt and faith at the same time. Girlies, I'm ruined

6. C'est Comme Ça, Paramore

In a single year I've aged one hundred My social life a chiropractic appointment Sit still long enough to listen to yourself Or maybe just long enough for you to atrophy to hell ... I know that regression is rarely rewarded I still need a certain degree of disorder I hate to admit, getting better is boring But the high cost of chaos Who can afford it?

I love Kristen, and I think her arc this season is extremely relatable; currently, 90% of what she does are bits, and I KNOW it's a coping mechanism, but STILL, WHY ARE YOU SO MESSY. I love you; keep being 17, but god, keep your clothes on and stop going to the steel plants girlie you're gonna give Riz a heart attack

[outrunningthedark]

Why do you think Natalia is unlikely to be back? From past experience (looking at Taykay), I thought any LI of Buck would be a sure thing to return, no matter how shitty it’s written. As for Marisol, if she’s not fired for her transphobic speech, we are looking at Ana 2.0…

Before the strike, I thought Natalia could be back to at least test the waters re: audience reception. Fandom may not have found her engaging, but (IMO) the GA's opinion could have been swayed had they seen her some more (and assuming Tim & Kristen put actual thought into giving her a personality and a purpose). Buck and a pretty lady? Particularly a pretty lady that comes off nicer than the last? Not a hard sell.

But the more I thought about it, the more I started wondering how a death doula is going to fit into Buck's life now that we've seen him work through his feelings about the possibility of dying on the job, and regardless of how people felt, story-wise, her career matched up with where he was (mentally) at in 6B. We just didn't see any of that connection. (More off screen development at the hands of Kristen...let's hope that gets better next year.) If Natalia were to come back, she'd be getting the Ali and Ana treatment, I think - an appearance every few weeks so you remember she's there - because there's truly nothing for her and Buck to do together that matches the other pairings. No kids right now. That makes her different from Michael and Karen, the two longtime non-first responder spouses. And Shannon. And even Ana, who Eddie first became interested in at a parent-teacher conference. No history of reporting or crime solving. They're no Bathena. Or even BT. She's not a firefighter. They won't be BL. She's not a dispatcher. There goes the Madney angle. (Natalia getting close to her boyfriend's sister, having double dates). And there *also* goes the potential for communication over radio or one showing concern over the other's safety (y'no, the thing we assume should be happening more with Madney). So much of Buck's story line has been about his personal relationships and desire for love/a family of his own. A girlfriend that he interacts with two times in half a season (all things being equal aka not 5A) doesn't seem like the way this is gonna go considering how his previous two "relationships" (counting Lucy) were with women who had a reason to regularly interact with him. The effort IS being made now, but it's not enough to win the audience over because of choices that were made early on. (The Lucy intro was just. Completely avoidable. Cheating is not how you get the moms on board, duh.) I expect that to change with Tim in the driver's seat critiquing more closely than before.

& regarding Marisol, yeah, the Ana detail is why I'm not as sure of or concerned with the character's status. The show has yet to write a LI for Eddie that has a presence. (I know people have their feelings about Shannon, but strictly speaking appearances, her first two set up her arrival and stay in LA and then the next "big" episode didn't come until she was supposed to die.) I don't know that I'll believe that's a priority in the writers' room until I actually see it for myself. :/ (And as for the transphobia...the ones in charge stayed silent and so much of the GA must not have a clue it happened, so I wouldn't even count on *that* being a deciding factor. If it's anything, it's her delivery and lack of chemistry with Ryan. So basically, Gabrielle 2.0.)

[ear-worthy]

SmartLess Podcast Welcomes Presidents Biden, Obama & Clinton

SMARTLESS’ UNITES PRESIDENTS BIDEN, OBAMA, AND CLINTON FOR HISTORIC PODCAST INTERVIEW

While one former president is in court defending himself against hush money payments to a porn star and to a Playboy playmate, three other Ex-POTUS's discuss gun violence, foreign relations, Biden’s re-election campaign, what they miss about being in office, the State of the economy, passing the baton Between Presidencies, and more on the Smartless podcast.

SmartLess hosts Will Arnett, Jason Bateman and Sean Hayes have brought together three U.S. Presidents, Joe Biden, Barack Obama, and Bill Clinton, for a historic podcast interview.

The momentous episode is available early on Amazon Music/Wondery+ here. It will be wherever podcasts are available on Monday, April 29.

The podcast interview was recorded in-person recently with the hosts and the Presidents in New York City.

SmartLess with Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett is a podcast that connects and unites people from all walks of life to learn about shared experiences through thoughtful dialogue and organic hilarity.

The award-winning podcast was launched in July 2020 and is consistently among the top five most listened-to podcasts monthly. Guests have included Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Don Cheadle, Larry David, Greta Gerwig, Idris Elba, Kristen Stewart, Pedro Pascal, Selena Gomez, and many more.

INTERVIEWS CLIPS AVAILABLE HERE:

Sean Hayes: Do you all miss something specific about holding office, obviously except for you because you’re in office, but do you guys miss something?

President Biden: I miss not having an office.

President Obama: Well, look, everybody talks about Air Force One.

Sean Hayes: Yeah, sure.

President Obama: Marine One. It’s pretty convenient, I won't lie. But I’ll tell you the thing I miss the most. Remember those music concerts I used to do at, you can basically invite anybody, and you have this concert and I mean we got you know Stevie Wonder, Paul McCartney.

Sean Hayes: Everybody will show up.

President Obama: They’ll show up. And they do these rehearsals the night before a lot of times and you can kinda sneak down and could just sit there and watch Mick Jagger practicing with BB King or something on a blues night. I do miss that.

President Clinton: I miss the fact that they don’t play a song when you walk in a room anymore.

Sean Hayes: We should’ve done that today.

President Clinton: I was lost for three weeks when I left office. But let me tell you something serious, this is one reason that I so badly want President Biden to be re-elected. What I really miss is the job. Not doing it, I'm glad, I believe in the two-term limit strongly, but what I learned was on the worst day, when nothing was going right, problems are everywhere, there was still something you could do that would make somebody's life better. There is no job like that on earth.

Sean Hayes: I love that.

Clinton: And I want somebody..

President Obama: Who appreciates it.

President Clinton: …that I trust to make the most of that every day. Cause they’ll be bad days no matter who gets elected. But he’ll get up and he’ll start thinking about that. And I think his opponent will be thinking about…

President Obama: Himself.

President Clinton: …yeah, who I can get even with, who I can send away. Joe Biden will make the best of the bad days.

Jason Bateman: And the team that you have assembled and your comfort with deferment. For me personally, I love leaders that have the confidence to hire those that they respect, that might make them a little nervous.

Will Arnett: And also not to think that you're the…

President Obama: That you’re the smartest guy…

Will Arnett: Yeah, that you’re gonna have every…. We had leaders like that in the middle part of the last century who were put into government by presidents of old, and they made a lot of decisions that they thought they were right about, and they were terrible people. And when that happens, when you think that you’ve got all the answers, is the moment you don’t.

Jason Bateman: Like Ron Klain, bringing us out of COVID. It’s just on and on and on, the way in which you’ve surrounded yourself with the absolute best this country has to offer.

President Biden: I made a commitment, having an administration that looks like America. I have more women in my cabinet, I’ve appointed more Black Circuit Court judges than every other president combined in American history. I’ve kept my commitment about putting a Black woman on the Supreme Court. I’ve had an opportunity to go out and get the best people - and by the way, I sometimes pick up the phone and ask these guys who they think are the best people. And I’m looking for people that most of all, not just are good, but care about what they’re doing.

Jason Bateman: Whereas the other guy is only hiring people that won’t talk back and that’s…

President Biden: Oh mine talk back.

CLIP 2 - Download Here

Sean Hayes: What are the issues coming up that people are focusing on that you believe are the wrong things, or they may be the right things, and what should they be focusing on?

President Biden: I think they should be focusing on a couple of things. Number one, we’re gonna, in the second term, God willing, we’re gonna make sure that we do something about gun violence in this country.

Will Arnett: Yes.

President Biden: The idea that we allow assault weapons to be sold, and magazines with 100 rounds, is just bizarre.

Will Arnett: Well, President Biden, I’m so glad to hear you say that because that was gonna be my other question. Which is, the Democrats never say we want to take your guns away.

President Biden: Absolutely not.

Will Arnett: You never said that, you said we gotta be smart about what’s going on.

Jason Bateman: You don’t need to kill a deer with an AR15.

Sean Hayes: Right.

President Biden: The Second Amendment, when I taught law school, the Second Amendment wasn’t absolute ever. You weren’t able to have a cannon when you were, you know, the liberty is ordered with the blood of patriots. I mean, it’s a bunch of crap.

This episode of Smartless will be available wherever you get your podcasts on Monday, April 29.

[sol-rambles]

First post

Spoke liked the spiked milk, he also didn't even realise it was alcohol for awhile.

Jumper was best friend with Lucy Frostblade.

Branzy is somewhere in the line to become the principal of Augefort. Probably next after student president. Just gives of the vibes.

Everyone currently running for lifesteal president (Mapic, Squiddo, Minute, 4c and Red) are now running for student president. So them, Kettlefiller Cuntface and Kristen Applebees are all running for president. (whoever wins ls elections is officially running against the other two.) I might do a poll for the funnies after the ls election is over. Though, we know who isn't winning that one (Kipperfucker Cunthead).

Oh yeah, Killercunt Crinklecrap's name is actually Kipperlily Copperkettle, everyone just hates her! Just noone ever calls her by her real name ahah.

Mapic, Jepex, Parrot, Vi and Ash are all on The Owlbears (hoot! growl! hoot! growl!<-(their chant), its a bloodrush team, captained by Fabian Seacaster.)

4c and Ro are in Fabian's Bard class, the saw... the flying shit. Ro continuously makes jokes about it, only half the people he has done this with believe him, 'cause he's the maximum legend.

Zam, a cleric of Cassandra, along with Kristen. He has not gained as much back as Kristen has since Cassandra, reverted? Died? (I'm not sure after last week's episode.) He's ofcourse is in pass-fail cause of Yolanda Badgood's death.

I feel like Mapic and Spoke are very behind Fig's mentality of "Porter is the big bad evil guy, we should be incredibly suspicious of him".

Will continue later :3

[unsleepingtales]

Fhjy e2 reactions this episode is batshit and I love them but also I’m so sad

I’ll be so real gang I am stressed and have been in a downwards thought spiral so we’ll see how this goes yeah?

I love Adaine making her mage hand look like Riz’s ringed hand that’s so fun and lovely

Also the mage hand mini is so cool

Don’t patronize me, it’s bad 😔

Goddamn they’re good

Would you be interested in healing us?? Spare healing o cleric??

I love that they could heal the hangvan

The night yorb’s art is SO cute I need a plushie of it. I’m gonna just buy galaxy patterned fleece and make one.

It feels like a stretch???

It’s gonna bite!

I just thought if I acted excited it would be good

Naur 💀

Armor of ayda!!!

Go sit on a whisky bottle you punk bitch !

Duggan and Balthazar definitely explored each others bodies we’re all agreed on this right. In my mind they had something like the cowboy and the roman soldier from night at the museum had.

“This is hot” Emily I agreeeee

Perfect example of gambler’s fallacy but y’know what this did just reinforce it

Nothing I can do! Brennan. Brennan come on.

That’s a feat I took in LIFE

They THREW that that die TRAVELLED

“You know I’m always rooting for you”

Oh GOD

No more probability smashing ok murph?

Y’know what for being fully run over by a van? 22 points of damage is not bad.

Was last episode really only two rounds of combat

He is So defeated

I’m hurting 😡

ALSO the portal is so cool. This battle set is amazing.

The blood on the windshield I can’t

Oooooof

Can she resummon Baby?? Has he died before I can’t remember?

“From when you ran me over” as if Fabian is not Solely responsible for the choices he’s made. Riz didn’t intentionally run you over babe you fell out of the van.

This is. Not great!

What hell!

Oh nooooo

Cmon Murph please

SHIT

Oh god

Oh my god you are about to kill your healer

She had 23!!

Aaaaaaaaa oh god

:( I feel bad for the cute manta ray

Ally’s gonna sue you if they hit you

With my wizarding powers and my absolutely fucked van ! Gorgug thistlespring the man that you are

OH SHIIIIIIT

Yessss

Ok yeah that makes sense that was on the bingo

Ok so the van now holds the night yorb sealed in its roof and an angel in the engine. Fantastic.

That mural is beautiful

They’re so exhausted guys. School starts tomorrow.

(What an episode to air the week I go back to class and have Such A Bad Time Guys)

Eeeeeeeeeesh

Don’t menace me!

It means something to me emotionally. Gorgug Car Guy Thistlespring <3

You wanted to do a bit so now we’re doing a bit. Suffer for your bit.

Does the back door of the van mini open?? Bc that’s sick

Ooooh Ally has custom spell cards with the d20 logo on them. Those are neat

He’s gonna stab these guys but it’s not with any of the normal zeal 😔

Jesus

Just to try and feel something

JESUS

Why do you guys careee you’re bugssss

Brennan.

Zac oh god

‘Guys I think Fig’s getting hit with the ballista right now’

She doesn’t even cutting words she just takes it 😭😭

It’s that era, The Ball 😭😭

Oh my fucking god

The noises of defeat they’re all making

I want an ice cream. Like the old days.

Just like that ART oh I’m gonna reblog that art of them at basrar’s so bloody after a fight

I love them. I missed the bad kids guys.

I think we’ve gotta go to sleep.

Wooooo

Love an aso callback

Love wins 💅

We’re done doing this!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

What kind of BULLSHIT

God this is so unhinged

No bonus action healing or anything Kristen?

Brennaaaaaan

So tactical. So late. So dead.

The slowest and saddest three point turn

The least enthusiastic stab

You didn’t! Have! To do it! You could! Have had! Ice cream! I! Want! To go! Home!!!

Oooooof

OOOOOF

That Turncoat 😢

This is so fucking sad.

What the fuck man

I don’t know why anything happened. Why did any of that happened.

The shard of the day yorb

Fig why would you ask that.

Riz desperately trying to keep the group together is so heartbreaking

The fucking dry guys

BY MEPHITS FOR MEPHITS

Gotta stay awake in the dome motherfuckers

Oh my GOD

They’re gonna cry man

Dome art!

Brennan what are you about to do

Daisy Cubby!!!!

Fig. What.

I’M gonna cry.

Everyone’s gonna cry.

Is it fun man. Is it really.

Map!!!

It says fuck you zac ☺️ in beautiful writing!

Emily Axford the woman you are……….

What the fuck is happening right now.

Oh god oh no

This is so horrifying

Kristen. Kristen No.

I love the map!

Oh god.

Oh the Hallariel art is FANTASTIC

Are they going on their honeymoon. I have paused the episode to write this are hallariel and Gilear going on a honeymoon did they get married and not invite their kids because they were saving the world I’m gonna be so pissed

Oh the Gilear art is cursed

Okay they’re going on a cruise.

Gilear’s voice has dropped

Oh SHIT okay so I wasn’t that far off

This is just. So fucking sad. I know that it’s gonna get happier because it’s fantasy high but right now this is so fucking sad

They’re newlyweds??? So they did fucking get married?????

Leaving for MONTHS after your only child gets back from saving the world and you got married to one of his best friends’ dad without your child or your new spouse’s child there is so horrible oh my god. I am real life mad about this.

Ok interesting things happening with Gilear and luck. Is Gilear not gonna go see Fig at Mordred before he leaves for a year???

Guys there is still almost an hour left in this episode is it all gonna be this fucking sad

Oh my god he inherited the singing barrel pirates

Good for them being unionized

Sklondaaaaaa

She’s got her own boarddddd

I love her

God they’re powerful this season

SKLONDA ART FUCKS

Oh thank god a loving mother.

It was… ssso tactical

That summer before junior year growth spurt/style shift combo is so real

Oh shit. The single mother struggling to pay for college storyline is gonna fuck me up monumentally I think. Fuck.

Scholarships are gonna be really important 🥲 line taken from my real life

Setting up a board is to riz gukgak what a spreadsheet is to me. I am him he is me.

Please god I need the thistlesprings to not make me sad

They’re so cute!!!!

Zac looks fucking near tears

Oh god any time Brennan’s face gets a little more serious and the music kicks in my heart just sinks

GORGUG AND ZELDA BROKE UP? 😭😭

That does not make any sort of sense

Staying tight with your ex’s parents is also so real lmaooo

He had a toothbrush at her house??????

The bad girls are so important to me

Awwwwwwwww

They’re aaaall crying

ZAYN THE RETURN OF ZAYN MY BEST FRIEND ZAYN DARKSHADOW

And Ragh and Lydia!! Yay!!

SANDRA LYNN FAETH THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE. I WOULD BE SO GOOD TO YOU YOU DONT’ EVEN KNOW.

Brb printing out the new Sandra Lynn art to hang on my wall

They’re so tired guys

Squeem is alive? Ok

Jawbone man.

Oh god. Literally.

Sobbing this is literally the high school mentality

Guys. Guys.

It’s a real crapshoot for me finishing things. Yep.

Babe that is not a measurement of classes.

Yes that is a thing you can do. You can take time off for extreme circumstances.

LOVE the Aguefort art. Slay.

Also love that the way Brennan gets into the Aguefort voice is to do the peace hands

He’s going on vacation with ayda?????

Ayda looks great

Oh God No

How could this possibly go wrong?

What is the quangle and why is it going to cause so many problems

Oh nooooooo

That’s so fucking sad christ alive

Oh god

Emily.

PEOPLE LOVE SKITS ON ALBUMS

“Does nobody respect the fact that it takes time to save the world” feels like the thesis of the season

Trackerbees breakup about to be confirmed??

ZAYN ART ZAYN ART ZAYN ART

Look at my best friend in the whole wide world and his pet rat. He’s so fucking pretty.

Aelwyn moved out??

Augh.

Oh that’s lovely actually

Oh aelwyn looks GOOD.

And she’s got cats and is teaching middle school??? Good for herrrr

Awww that’s sweet

Oh right somehow I completely forgot that Fig did a fucked up devil deal

Oh god fig’s spilling on her shirt. Did she somehow swap fates with Gilear or something.

Sandra lynnnnnnnn

That is a good way to think about classes :)

What??

Nooooooooooooo

Sometimes you really do just have to give Nothing constructive in an improv scene sometimes it’s better

Trackerbees breakup confirmed. Tracker’s doing great.

Still interested in the retcon or whatever happened with Tracker originally being a cleric of Lida and then switching to Galicea

Cassandra I’m sorry you and Kristen are both struggling so much

Oh Whatttt no

If Cassandra dies and goes to the astral plane I will be so sad.

Holy SHIT guys.

[baka-monarch]

Random au I thought of at work- (basically the gods are like siblings)

___________________________________________

XD: .... hypothetically if I were to create a book with Life's powers and a book with your powers and gave it to the mortals.... What do you think would happen?

Mumza: they would absolutely abuse it and cause chaos

XD: yeah but what if they didn't-

Mumza: you just want me to agree so you can have more souls to eat-

XD: nuh-uh

Mumza: yuh-huh

XD: Nope! I have complete faith in the players, so much faith that I'll even make a bet!!!

Mumza: Ohohoho! It's a deal then- but if I win I get to redecorate your realm~

XD: and if I win you'll finally cook me Phil's soul

Mumza: deal!

XD: deal!

___________________________________________

XD: *making the books*

Mumza: ....do you think Life is gonna notice us taking some of her power for this?

XD: ...

Mumza: she'd be pissed if she knew about this....

XD: hmmmmm naaahhh she won't find out

Mumza: yeah naaahhh, she never visits us

___________________________________________

Mumza, teleporting in: XD WE HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM!!!!!

XD: what?

Mumza: LIFE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE BOOKS!!!

XD: WHAT!? HOW!?

Mumza: well... Uh... Her son was revived-

XD: HOW DID HE EVEN DIE!?

Mumza: so like- remember that moral years ago, the one who's face you stole and have been using it as your mortal form?

XD: Yeah....?

Mumza: Weeeeellllll- he's the one who has the book and killed Tommy... And now Life thinks you killed her son...

XD: fuck I'm dead....

Mumza: we're dead....

___________________________________________

Life: destroy the books

XD: no! It's our only form of entertainment!!!!

Mumza: yeah! Plus your son would be dead without them!

Life: you took a portion of my powers without my permission!

XD: I had Kristen's permission!

Mumza: Yeah!

Life: .... That's literally not the same thing!!!!

XD: the books are harmless Life, just let us finish our bet-

Life: YOU MADE A BET!?

Mumza: .....nooooooo?

Life: ... The next time I find out one of the books has been used because the two of you haven't destroyed them, I'm going to destroy that server you both love.

Mumza: what- she can't do that! XD she can't do that!

XD: yeah you can't do that! I have more power than you, remember?

Life: You do, but I can also erase the lives of everything on that server which would fuck up the code of it so much that it'd be unsalvageable.

XD: ...

Mumza: ....

XD: fuck

Mumza: I uh- well I think it's time for my afternoon tea with Phil I'm sure you can handle this XD-

XD: Wait Kristen don't leave me with her-

___________________________________________

Phil: *wakes up in Death's realm*

Phil: oh hey Kristen I didn't know it was time for tea ye-

Mumza: WE HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM!!!!!