#but yeah I'm just chilling here like ''look at them! look at how much they've grown!!! look how their dynamic has changed!!!! 💖💘💓💕

[valkyrietookmoved]

see the difference here is that when ra*bits say something casually sad im still like (squints) (screenshots) this is going into the analysis folder but with valkyrie im like nooo :(( don't be like that :(( <-already knows that things are working out pretty well for them rn re:acanthe and that they've probably resolved now more of their issues than ra*bits have

Understandable skdkbdnx Hopefully Tomoya center resolves some of your doubts. For better or worse.

[silverwhittlingknife]

How would you describe Tim's people skills? Especially when you compare them to Dick's?

Hi anon, this was a fun ask!! I picked out a few panels for each of them (comforting friends, a bit out of sync with friends, fighting with friends, and offering practical support to friends) just to get a quick look at their people skills in action, and then I rambled on about my thoughts on their strengths and their weaknesses.

(Caveat: I'm going to try to focus on my ideas about differences between the two of them, since we're comparing, but I do think they're socially more similar than not, so you might also want to check out @bitimdrake's post on Dick and Tim's similarities for the big picture!)

Short version: I think they've both got good people skills. Dick's are a bit better and more natural, whereas Tim's are more practiced and learned (in ways that sometimes show).

Let's start with Dick first, and then I'll get back to Tim.

Dick

Comforting friends in Titans Secret Files:

Dick: Will you go back in there and sit down? This is my house. You don't need to clean up after me! Donna: I know, I just... I just ... Dick: Hey, hey... what's the matter? Donna: Nothing. It's nothing. Dick (reaching out to supportively grip her shoulders): Donna, this is me here, remember?

A bit out of sync with friends (but still getting along well) in Titans 3:

Dick: The movie runs 98 minutes. So if we fast-forward past the coming attractions and watch only half the credits, I can still make it back to Blüdhaven in time to - Roy: Nightwing, chill. Team morale demands that you relax and enjoy yourself.

Fighting with friends in Titans 13:

Dick: We haven't used it much, Changeling. But that's gonna be different. Starting right now. Our performance against Tartarus and the HIVE was unacceptable. Each and every one of you should thank God you weren't killed. Kory: How dare you? How can you just stand there talking to us like we're a military detachment -

Giving support to relative strangers in Nightwing 87:

Neighbor 1: Oh, he - he's a true gentleman, you know? Always holds the door, or helps me up the stairs with my groceries if we both come in at the same time... Neighbor 2: ...used his motorcycle to jumpstart my car one morning and even got my brother-in-law a job with Wayne Enterprises when he got laid off... Neighbor 3: ...and he's very, very, very nice and doesn't talk down to me. Plus he lets me use his basketball.

Offering practical support (making dinner) in Prodigal:

Tim: I can't believe you can actually cook... Dick: I like to eat. Tim: So does Bruce - but he had to order Chinese last night. Dick: That's where I'm one up on him - I've lived on my own without an Alfred. Still miss him, though... He was good for a lot more than cooking and cleaning. Tim: Yeah. But at least we don't have to miss him on empty stomachs.

Strengths:

I think Dick's people skills are pretty simple: he has them! He's good at people! And I tend to think of Dick's people skills as so automatic they're mostly instinctive. It's not something he really has to think about because it's so ingrained in him. A combination of natural talent plus a childhood spent around sociable performers means Dick's just really highly attuned to the people around him.

And I don't think he's particularly obvious about it. So e.g. you could be having a conversation with Dick where he didn't seem like he was paying close attention, but if there was An Important Moment where you got anxious for a moment or let something important slip or let a bit of anger show through etc. - Dick will have picked up on it, even if it's unconsciously, and it'll stick with him and come back to him later.

And just generally - I think Dick has good instincts for who he can trust and who he shouldn't trust; when he's treading on conversational landmines he'll often pick up the unease even if he doesn't have the context to know why there's a problem; if he's trying to comfort and trusts his instincts he'll often do the right thing even if he can't justify in words why he felt like that was the right thing to do.

So I think for Dick, there's always the level of conscious awareness - the things he's aware he knows, if you will - and the level of unconscious awareness - things he senses, but maybe can't explain, or maybe doesn't want to know so he's suppressing the thoughts.

So he's good at leading, and he's good at comforting, and he's good at listening, and he's good at figuring out the right thing to say...

Like, he's good at all of it, so it's actually sort of difficult to elaborate because there's just not that much nuance? Given any particular interpersonal situation, Dick has an excellent chance of getting a quick read on some random guy he's just met and then getting the reaction he wants pretty fast, whether it's intimidating the guy or comforting him or getting him to cooperate or taunting him until he loses his temper, etc etc etc.

Obviously Dick's not a mind reader, and he can get things wrong, especially when he's in the throes of one of his own personal crises, but generally I think Dick's very very sure-footed with people, even with strangers.

Weaknesses:

This isn't a weakness precisely because Dick's usually doing it on purpose, but he'll sometimes have fights with his friends because they think he's acting overly professional/detached and he thinks they're not being professional enough. So e.g. in Titans 13, you can see Dick's set up the room almost like he's leading a business meeting, and he's the boss lecturing them, and they're reacting by getting mad at him. Part of this is basically a Traditional Bat Problem - Tim's friends also balk because they feel like Tim's keeping them at a distance - but Dick tends to lean especially hard on "I'm The Leader Here So Shut Up And Do What I Say" professionalism / distancing.

When things are going well, Dick's friends may grumble at his intense professionalism but basically appreciate it (this is basically how things go in their reunion in TT vol 2); when things are not going well, though, it becomes a point of tension. Generally, Dick gets extra-professional as a coping mechanism when under stress, as here in TT vol 2 12:

To the extent that Dick falters with social skills, it tends to be almost exclusively with people he knows well, not with strangers. Dick sometimes struggles with maintaining relationships, largely because he's often juggling multiple responsibilities; he'll sometimes get hyperfixated on something and deprioritize his more stable relationships (so e.g. when he gets fixated on trying to fix Blüdhaven and gets distracted from his relationship with Babs).

Somewhat relatedly, if things start going wrong in his own life, he tends to self-isolate out of shame and avoid everyone he thinks of as more put-together. So, for example, in the aftermath of Blockbuster, he's a self-destructive mess who's trying to dodge and/or drive away Clark and Roy and Tim (all people who care about him and would want to help), but Sophia Tevis and Rose are two messed-up young strangers in trouble and their obvious neediness trips his "urgency" meter, plus he may be a mess but they have no context to realize that so he doesn't feel so self-conscious, and he's able to be drive-by super-helpful to them and then dive right back into privately self-destructing.

Also not a weakness per se, but he tends to be a bit of an introvert in general - he and Wally are close, but they go long stretches of time without catching up; when he's spending time with friends, usually it's Donna / Wally / the Titans / Tim visiting Dick rather than the other way around; he's more likely to get cajoled into joining a team than the other way round - Wally talks him into rejoining the Titans and Roy talks him into joining the Outsiders. He likes people and likes spending time with friends, but he's usually not the one initiating a social gathering. He's self-aware about this; in Titans 9, he muses, "It's not the newness that's the problem. The problem is the old stuff. The ruts. You know someone long enough - well enough - and you fall into a rut with them... you completely take the relationship for granted..."

Relatedly, because Dick's pretty self-contained, he has a recurring problem where loved ones interpret him as distant or detached or indifferent even when he's still passionately attached - both Kory and Babs break up with Dick in part because they feel like he's not really that committed to them (also there are mmm Problematic Plotlines involved but I'm ignoring those for the purposes of this post), and in both cases IMO they're misreading him. He's deeply upset by both breakups and responds with big declarations of feeling and, uh, proposing marriage shortly afterward. (Okay, so he's not ALWAYS sure-footed sdfdsfs)

When Dick's getting something wrong, it's usually because he's upset and overcompensating - when things with Kory and Babs are tense, he tries to fix it with Big Gestures; when Vic's mad at him about spying, he missteps with an elaborate secret plan culminating in a big dramatic offering of a new body which Vic does want... but he's still understandably miffed at Dick for making a bunch of decisions behind his back instead of talking to him. Dick guesses right about something Vic will want, but because Dick when he's feeling guilty tends to slide into I-Am-The-Leader, I-Must-Fix-Everything-By-Myself, I-Am-Responsible-For-Everything mode, he forgets that the whole original problem is connected to not respecting Vic's autonomy / right to make decisions for himself, and that a better gesture would be asking Vic what he wants instead of once again making decisions on his behalf without consulting him. (I'm sympathetic to Dick's spying-on-Vic plan on account of how Vic did turn into an evil moon for a bit - comics are bonkers, you guys sdfdsfs - but I'm also very sympathetic to Vic feeling that he deserved fuller disclosure here.)

And you can see similar patterns in lower-key conflicts too: every time Dick gets accused of being just like Batman, it's usually because he's coming off as harsh or detached or uncaring (sometimes on purpose because he's pushing people away; sometimes just because Dick handles grief and fear by shutting down; sometimes because his the-buck-stops-here leadership style can come off as overly-detached), even though Dick actually cares SO SO MUCH, all the time, about everyone he knows.

But honestly... these weaknesses exist, but they're minor in comparison to his strengths?? Dick's a guy with a lot of very strong friendships for a reason. He's true as steel and once he cares about you, he cares about you forever. <3

OKAY! So that's Dick. Let's finally move on to...

Tim

Comforting friends in Joker's Last Laugh 3:

Tim: Babs? Is everything okay? (hugs her)

A bit out-of-sync with friends (but still getting along well) in Young Justice 7:

Cassie: A campout isn't a campout without a real fire. It's no fun at all. Tim: But the generator is far more efficient, Cassie. It's non-polluting, it poses no threat of forest fire, and it's... it's ... (taking in everybody else's expressions, sighing, reversing course) It's no fun at all. Impulse, can you...?

Fighting with friends in Adventure Comics 3 (stonewalling, avoidance, and lying!)

Conner: You weren't picking up. Tim: I didn't know it was you. Conner: I turned off my caller ID blocking. Tim: I was busy. I am busy. Conner: Too busy to talk to your best friend? Tim: Yes. No.

Giving emotional support to relative strangers in Robin 98 / 100 / 156:

Wesley: I just wanted to thank you. They tell us at the meetings that it's important to let people know how you feel. You did a lot for me - making me sober up. If you hadn't taken the time to notice - (Later) Tim: You're gonna stay strong, right? (Wesley: Right.) Tim: You're gonna stay sober, okay? (Wesley: Okay.) Tim: You're gonna do it 'cause - Wesley: 'Cause if I don't you'll come back and kick my butt all over campus. Tim: Uh huh.

(The redhaired guy was about to jump. Tim convinces him to sit down and talk first.) Tim: So, you're in college? Guy: Yeah, I'm a freshman. How'd you know? Tim: Just a hunch. I'm guessing you don't like it much. Guy: I always hated high school. Always felt like I was outside looking in, never part of any group or anything. I was on the diving team but even then I didn't feel like part of it. The only good thing was that was where I met Lori, my girlfriend.

Offering practical support (medical care and tea) in Batgirl 59:

Tim (treating her injury as she shares her traumatic past): Whoa. That's ... horrible. Cass: That's nothing. Stephanie and I used to laugh about - oh... uh... never mind. Wait, Tim. I... I'm so ... stupid, I don't - Tim: You're not stupid. Want some tea? Cass: I ... uh... yeah. Thank you.

Strengths:

Tim! I think Tim's also pretty decent at people - not as good as Dick, but hardly anyone is?

I tend to think of Dick as instinctively good at people, and Tim as more consciously good at people.

Tim spends a lot of time being intentionally watchful: observing, spying, psychoanalyzing people, paying careful attention to what they say, thinking about what makes them tick. (And Tim psychoanalyzes himself, too. Tim is studiously engaged in the study of Tim, and of Tim's friends, and of Tim's family. He's often playing a role, even when that role is "Tim Drake.")

So e.g. in Red Robin, at one point Tim has an elaborate domino-falling database where he's compiled a list of villains he wants to fight and how he wants to fight them, all leading up to a very careful takedown plan for Boomerang where he's thought through and anticipated Boomerang's every move ahead of time... and he's basically right! He gets it all right!

And this kind of intensely-studied logical chess-game of "he will do this for this reason, and then this for that reason, and the other people will respond in this way, like a series of dominos, and I've thought through all the possibilities" is Very Tim to me, and I feel like... this is just the sort of thing that Dick would never ever do?

And mostly Dick wouldn't do it because he wouldn't have to. When Dick's skeptical of James Gordon Jr., he goes to talk to the guy and feel him out, and he ethically feels obliged to give him the benefit of the doubt because there's no evidence against him, but he's got a bad feeling and doesn't trust him and secretly slaps a tracer on him because he's got an instinct he'll want it, and he's right: James Jr. is up to something, and that tracer is exactly the thing that Dick needs.

And similarly if Dick wanted to goad James Jr. into doing something, I think he'd go off and meet him and goad him into doing it, and he'd have an instinct for what to say to make that happen - I think the whole elaborate domino plan that Tim comes up with for Boomerang would feel unnecessarily complex to Dick. Not that Dick doesn't make complicated plans, because he absolutely does, but Dick doesn't usually overthink people.

Similarly, if Dick had been the little kid in Lonely Place of Dying, he'd have gotten worried and gone straight to Bruce and talked to him, not gotten worried and taken photos of Bruce from a distance and then come up with an elaborately overthought plan to go to New York and track down his estranged son and fix him that way. And, like. Kid!Tim's not entirely wrong! He's correctly picked up on a very real and very strong connection between Bruce and Dick even though he doesn't know either of them! And given how little actual information Tim has, this is actually an impressive plan (it's a bad plan, because Tim doesn't know about their fights, but it's an impressively solid plan given that his entire information basis is "watched them from a distance and collected news reports"). But this isn't how Dick thinks about people.

Backing up to a more general point: Tim values people skills really really really highly. I think "uses interpersonal skills to help and comfort other people" is one of Tim's highest values and arguably the highest value - he imprinted on Dick because he was kind, and then imprinted on Batman because he was comforting Dick. And he has six million After-School-Special-style plotlines where he tries to comfort / advise / rescue / etc. people in various stages of emotional distress and who are using bad coping mechanisms. His very first outing as Robin involves talking down a semi-suicidal shooter; the big finale of YJ has Tim talking Secret down from her rampage; he's very gentle when he's comforting his girlfriend after she confides in him about a maybe-attempted-rape; he talks down a suicidal college student in Robin; plus there's the entire concept of "Batman needs Robin" in the first place; not to mention his obsession with the importance of friends; and so forth.

So it's something that he's good at because it's something he values and works at. His people skills are conscious and learned. He does a fair bit of amateur psychoanalysis of other people's problems, and he's generally good at identifying the problems, even if he's not always great at fixing them. And he's often playing a role, or imitating other people, rather than being himself; he invests a lot of time constructing alternate identities; he's often more comfortable wearing a mask. (It is just so typical of Tim that his civilian friendship group is the DCU version of D&D players.)

So his practiced-people-skills work decently well, because he's diligent and he cares a lot, and he's better at people when he's older than when he's younger. And he's extremely good at things he's had a lot of practice with, like meeting new schoolmates, or making small talk, and he's friendly and he likes people, and he's good at learning scripts and following them, and he only tends to misstep when he's distracted or unusually anxious or when he's in a situation where normal social norms don't help. (Of course, since he's a vigilante and not an ordinary person, distracted / unusually anxious / weird situation are all things that happen more often than you might think!)

I also think Tim has a few caretaker instincts that have become automatic - generally he's hyperaware of when people are upset and usually tries to reach out or fix it, and even when he's trying to keep himself at a distance he'll slide into caretaking sometimes - so e.g. there's that moment in Batgirl with Cass when Tim's kinda upset with her for siding with Batman (and distancing himself from other people in general), so he's not intending to get close to her, but also what we see him doing is treating her wounds and then getting her tea. And meanwhile Cass actually wants to reach out, and she's intensely observing him and worrying and wanting to help, but what she actually does is... drink the tea. That Tim got her. While she stays firmly on her side of the couch.

(I tend to think of Cass as slightly similar to Tim but at the very very very beginning of her learn-to-people journey here? Like Tim, she cares!! A lot!! And she's successfully understood that Tim's upset, and she knows when she's put her foot in her mouth. But she's not sure what to do yet.)

Weaknesses:

Tactless! This is a tricky word because I think people sometimes hear 'tactless' and misunderstand it as 'generically rude,' but that's not quite the issue - Tim's quite polite most of the time; his problem is that his default mental monologue is very detached / psychoanalyzing / analytical, including about himself and things he's emotional about. He'll often be analyzing his own emotions even in the process of having them (I also talk about this a little here, though it's mostly a post about Dick and anger), and Tim's also constantly analyzing other people.

This means that if he doesn't edit his brain-to-mouth filter, he can come off as too detached or professional or calculating.

This is obviously similar to Dick's problem of coming off as too detached / professional - again, they're both Bats - but it's not quite the same thing, and I think this distinction is most obvious if you look at the places where they're doing it on purpose and picking fights:

Dick's most likely to pick fights by pulling rank: "I'm the boss, you all fucked up this mission and you better not do it again, shape up or shut up." This is a kind of distancing that's about Dick-the-impassive-boss and you-the-subordinate.

By contrast, Tim's more likely to pick fights via hostile psychoanalysis: "I notice you're being snide about Cass again, but we both know you're actually just mad that Bruce cares about her more than he cares about you." When he's miffed, both his inner monologue and the things he says tend toward 'uncharitable analysis of your emotional weaknesses,' and this is something he periodically directs at Bruce / Jason / Damian. This is a kind of distancing that's about Tim-the-hostile-analyst and you-the-unfortunate-target-of-analysis.

(Caveats: I don't think Tim's above trying to pull rank if he can, but he rarely has the opportunity; Dick's not above jabs at other people's weaknesses when he's very defensive and feeling attacked - junkie, elevator - but IMO he's more likely to pull rank, whereas Tim's jabs are more likely to be wrapped up in insulting psychoanalysis, so e.g. Jason's insecurity is his problem. The Jan Brady of the Batfamily.)

You can see related similar-sounding-but-different issues if you look at some of their respective breakups. So e.g. Dick has a breakup with Babs in which she thinks he doesn't care about her, and Tim has a breakup with Cassie in which she thinks he doesn't care about her. And these breakups are different for six million reasons (among other things, Dick and Babs have a pretty intense romance, whereas, uh, Tim and Cassie have had one date and IMO she's very right that they're better off as friends).

But you also get some useful character notes:

Babs is wrongly anxious that Dick's mostly in love with nostalgia for their past rather than the person she is now (he 100% does love the person she is now!) and she's being unfairly bitchy about Catalina, but she's also correctly noted that he's gotten into the habit of deprioritizing their relationship in favor of vigilante busywork & that he's been a bit pushy in swooping in protectively rather than letting her fight her own battles, so when she's accusing him of being a control freak it's not completely coming from thin air; Dick responds by getting hurt, upset, and direct (he gets furious and punches something, but then makes a big sweet sincere emotional speech to her about how much he cares and values her, albeit one that's so caught up in his own emotions like wanting to "protect" her that he's not slowing down enough to take in her insecurities).

Cassie has correctly realized that dating Tim is a bad coping mechanism and she really needs to just deal with her grief over Conner; when she starts crying, at first Tim moves to comfort her, but when she actually clarifies the breakup, an upset Tim responds by aggressively de-emotionalizing the conversation and pretending he's being totally logical and not emotional about it - he first wonders aloud if he's a bad detective for not seeing it coming and then attempts a bonkers guilt-trip suggestion that it's their duty to date in order to uhhh avoid turning evil in the bad future (sdfsfdsfdsfds sure tim nice try)

This isn't because Tim literally doesn't have feelings, because of course he does! But often, the more upset he is, the worse he gets at clearly expressing those feelings, and the more he intellectualizes them or avoids discussing them.

(Caveat: The trouble with any distinction is that it's easy to exaggerate it in ways that are oversimplified, and I want to emphasize that this doesn't reduce to "Dick always expresses emotions, Tim is never emotional," or anything like that. Dick has a bunch of complicated feelings about the intensity of his emotions because he values control and detachment and often is trying to be more detached (I talk more about this in the context of anger here and here); Tim often retreats to faux-analytical detachment when he's actually very emotional; and these are tendencies rather than one-note 24/7 truths - Dick is completely capable of intellectualizing away his emotions; Tim is completely capable of just getting straightforwardly and directly upset. But if you're looking for broad distinctions, I think it's fair to say that Dick's usually better at directly using his words and expressing his emotions, even if he sometimes feels self-conscious shame about it later, whereas Tim tends to self-sabotage and deflect and hide by producing intellectualized faux-logic instead of just being direct about what he wants or what he's feeling.)

An unrelated issue is that Tim also tends to get intrusive when he's anxious, and it gets worse the more he cares about you. Tim really really really wants to know what's going on and has an intense Need To Help, which generally works out for him - this is the entire reason he pushes his way into the Batfamily! - but it's easy to imagine Tim running into people who might not appreciate his busybody sneakiness; so e.g. secretly stalking your friend because he has a bruise, or running your friend's DNA, etc., is... stuff that all comes from how much Tim cares, but also it involves a very fuzzy relationship with other people's privacy, so Tim's friendships that stick around tend to be with people who find this kind of intense observation to be caring rather than pushy. Relatedly, Tim's version of "be protective" can overlap with "be condescending," which means he tends to get along best with confident people like Bruce, who could punt him into a wall and who thus finds Tim's 'disapproving medic' shtick endearing instead of insulting.

Tim also struggles to connect to people for whom he doesn't have an obvious "script" or who don't respond to his usual scripts. So e.g. offering Gar a "you don't like me but let's be friends" handshake worked; offering Cass a "let's be friends" handshake worked; offering the same thing to Damian did not go over so well; and I think this kind of "it usually works so this is my habit now?" thing is very Tim, and I don't think it's the sort of mistake that Dick would make.

More broadly, because Tim's people skills are conscious and learned - the effort sometimes shows! He stares at people. He secretly spies on them. He pokes around in their secrets. Dick can be paying close attention to you and seem like he's not, so that his awareness seems effortless and less intrusive. I think Tim's awareness tends to be a bit more effortful.

That said, though, I don't think that Tim's intensely-observing-you shtick is necessarily obvious except to people who are fairly socially-skilled themselves. When I write fanfic, I generally write from Dick's POV, and I tend to write Dick being hyperaware of when, say, Tim's observing him, or trying to figure out what's going on with him. But I think of that as more "Dick's good at reading Tim and really aware of being watched, so every attempt at subtlety stands out in neon lighting," and I think to someone who's less good at reading people than Dick is, Tim is a lot subtler.

And I think for e.g. someone like Cass, who really struggles with people skills, Tim seems impossibly and naturally good at interactions in the same way that to Tim, Dick seems incredibly good at it.

[audliminal]

It's Just a Game, Right? Pt 6

Masterpost

"I'm telling you, Fenton!" Wes announces. "I'm onto you." A few of the kids walking past snicker at them, as Danny does his best to look confused. The startled part is easy; Wes is turning out to be a surprisingly good actor. He's been gradually leaning even harder to the image of a conspiracy nut, and the result is impressive. Danny, on the other hand, is simply trying to keep up with the insanity.

"I have literally no clue what you're talking about, dude." Danny says, attempting to push past Wes, so he can enter their classroom. Wes doesn't seem inclined to let this confrontation end, though.

"You may have everybody else fooled, but I know the truth. You made a pact with the so-called ghosts and their efforts to take over our world. You're just manipulating your parents' tech in order to convince everyone that they actually are ghosts, and not the invading fae army they really are!"

"Dude, what?" Danny responds, not quite able to hold back the laugh.

"Honestly, Wes, don't you have any common sense?" Star asks, as she walks up. "Rumor has it that Fenton's failing like half his classes, and you think a bunch of fae lords, or whatever would trust him to help their scheme? Surely they'd choose someone more competent." She flips her hair, and then walks past the both of them, as a couple of the kids nearest to them start snickering.

Outwardly, Danny winces and hunches in on himself a little more, as he takes the opening Star just created and ducks into the classroom after her.

In hallway outside, Danny catches Wes muttering to himself before following them in. No one says anything for a minute, but the moment the bell rings and Mr Lancer shuts the door, Star turns to Wes.

"I think you should be a writer or something after we get out of here." Star tells him. "That theory was honestly inspired."

"It gets even better. I have so much evidence to force on you guys, it'll be great." Wes answers, then turns to Danny. "You good? I know we don't mean any of it, but it's still gotta suck to have us acting like assholes all the time."

"I mean," Danny hums. "I'm not gonna say it's fun? But like honestly compared to everything else, dissing my work kinda seems..."

"Banal?" Sam offers.

"Yeah, sure, that." Danny nods. "Like, compared to people wanting me dead, who cares, I guess."

"Yikes," Kwan mutters. "Your life is a fucking mess, dude."

"Well, i do have some good news about that." Tucker announces, turning his computer to face everyone else. "Looks like the fanbase is making some progress towards finding the real stuff.

Danny stares at the reddit thread Tucker is on. He's honestly been only loosely paying attention to the actual stuff Tucker and Wes have been posting. He's happy to offer his knowledge of space stuff, or engineering, but the intricacies of secret code aren't really something he ever pursued. Well, except for the secret language he and Tucker had made as kids. Wes, on the other hand, peers at the screen and lets out a soft whoop.

"Hell yeah! They found the second layer!"

"Yeah. Which means they've found our first plea for help."

"Oh, wow," Sam says sardonically. "A plea for help that's so great. Why are they gonna think it's anything other than another part of the damn story."

"Chill out, Sam," Tucker responds. "The point is to encourage them to look harder. And once they find the next level, they'll start finding our info on the infinite realms."

"Whatever," Sam says, frowning. "I just... Don't like how much waiting this involves."

"Yeah it would be a lot easier if we could just, like, beat them up and call it good," Dash agrees. "But, like, jail would probably suck."

"At least they're making progress," Danny points out. "I don't really get how you guys are making these layers, but. It's more progress than anything else we've tried."

"Yeah, but like, what does this mean for us?"

"Why not interact directly with that post?"

"Maybe. We'd have to be extra careful about what and how we say it, so they don't write us off as a copycat or anything, but it could serve to reinforce, uh-" Wes leans in, to read the username. "BenBlues379's theory."

"Okay then, let's draft a reply." Danny zones out as they start to discuss the specifics. He hadn't actually had to go deal with any ghosts last night, but his parents had been working on some new invention, and the noise of their trials had made sure he didn't get much sleep despite the supposed reprieve. Luckily, nobody in this class is going to complain if he takes the opportunity to catch up on the missed shut-eye now, so with one last deep breath, Danny folds himself down onto his and relaxes into sleep, as the sounds of his classmates debating echoes around him.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

au where vaggie has another little secret she didn't even know was a secret still (spoiler it's Mortality) (spoiler charlie Isn't Happy) and when she sits down with charlie for a hotel talk it goees like (TRAUMATIC EMOTIONAL SPEED RUN AAAAHAHAHA)

Vaggie: "Alright sweetie, the hotel's going good so far, one soul redeemed, minimal fire damage this week, so we should probably start planning for the next hundred years of operations."

Charlie: "YAY!!! Planning planning planning~ What's first on the list??"

Vaggie: "Start looking for a replacement manager."

Charlie: "You don't wanna keep being manager? OH- we can be CO-FOUNDERS together! WE COULD HAVE A PARTY FOR IT! And plan for the next one too- Charlie and Vaggie's centennial wow the hotel is still here celebration...!"

Vaggie: "That's sweet, but I'll be dead by then either way, so we still need to deal with the staffing shortage before then."

Charlie: "....dead... tired?"

Vaggie: "Dead as in dead. Doornail style."

Charlie: "What?"

Vaggie: "Expired. Shit, when did we last check the hotel fridge..."

Charlie: "Vaggie wait, I'm, I'm not hearing you right, what are you saying?"

Vaggie: "Heaven born don't live forever? Especially not down in hell, turns out."

Charlie: "I don't understand."

Vaggie: (chuckles) "Sweetie, thanks for ignoring my eyebags and zombie groans while getting out of bed in the morning- but my wings are already GREY, for fuck's sake."

Charlie: "Yes they're, grey. Beautiful and- aren't they supposed to be-?"

Vaggie: "And I'm pretty sure it's not just from the stress of running a business for a few months. Being hotel manager isn't that hard."

Vaggie: "....Mostly. Compared to, some things...." (sigh)

Vaggie: "Think anyone would believe that if we put it in the want ad?"

Charlie: "But-"

Vaggie: "No buts. We really need to get a head start on this."

Charlie: "....but you're a winner."

Vaggie: (SNORTS) "In my dating life, yeah. Anyway-"

Charlie: "But none of the other exorcists' wings are grey! So, so THEY aren't aging- so YOU aren't aging!!"

Vaggie: "They've got halos to protect them from the whole physically getting old thing-"

Charlie: "Halos???"

Vaggie: "-so we- they- can keep fit and ready for fighting our- THEIR whole lives, but duh we don't live forever. Lute and Adam left me here to die, not chill for all eternity."

Charlie: "Wh.. but-"

Vaggie: "Can you imagine how much heaven would've freaked if one of their actually immortal souls had gotten killed down here in hell...? But it was just one of us Adam's girls, and it was up to him to deal with it. With more murder. Bastard."

Charlie: "...."

Vaggie: "Uh.... Charlie?"

Charlie: "....your mortal?"

Vaggie: "I'm, yeah.... wait, Charlie..."

Vaggie: "...people know that about exorcists, right? You didn't... think heaven would risk putting winners in their rank and file army and send them down to hell?"

Charlie: "I thought you were a sinner."

Vaggie: "Hostia- right. I keep forgetting, they don't get old do they?"

Charlie: "Sinners don't. They get killed but they don't just. Die."

Vaggie: "I'm sorry. I thought- I really should've told you-"

Charlie: "Angels aren't supposed to die either."

Vaggie: "We did a good job proving that wrong. Exhibit A, Adam's corpse."

Charlie: "He was KILLED- it's not the same!"

Vaggie: "And angels aren't the same either. There's a lot of different kinds in creation- most of us aren't in the higher orders, there's waaaay more exorcists than seraphim."

Charlie: "But heaven is still supposed to be HEAVEN! People don't DIE in heaven! That wouldn't be Heaven! How could- how could it ever be HAPPY up there if, if- if people still left!?"

Vaggie: "Oh, sweetie... the only people who've earned a heaven like that are the winners. The rest of us are just-"

Charlie: "Just what? JUST, WHAT???"

Vaggie: "We're there to make heaven a good place for them. Keep it running smooth and safe. Mostly it's the higher ups who deal with winners personally, the rest of us stay back and stick to our jobs, try to keep some distance so no one... gets too attached... shit that sounded a lot less fucked up before I said it out loud-"

Vaggie: "Look- it's like that with hellborn too isn't it? The imps and hellhounds and-"

Charlie: "NO! YES? But this is HELL! Of course it hurts and isn't fair! You're not FROM hell it's not supposed to BE like that for you!"

Vaggie: "Or for my girlfriend."

Charlie: "I'm not the one who's dying!"

Vaggie: "You're kinda freaking-"

Charlie: "IM NOT FREAKING OUT!!"

Vaggie: "Right. I meant, you should've had more warning. I'm sorry I didn't say... I wasn't thinking that far ahead."

Charlie: "WELL I WAS! And I'm not- we're not losing that."

Vaggie: "Charlie-"

Charlie: "We're getting you your halo back."

Vaggie: "Pretty sure it's already been recycled-"

Charlie: "THEN WE'RE FINDING ONE FROM ONE OF THE DEAD EXORCISTS and you are WEARING IT until we FIX THIS."

Vaggie: "Sweetie- heaven collected all the halos from our battle-"

Charlie: "They didn't pick up all the spears and stuff, maybe they also missed-"

Vaggie: "No they wouldn't have. Halos aren't, they're not like the weapons. Heaven doesn't care if sinners kill each other with some left behind divine steel, but a halo? They store and conduct heavenly power or whatever. No one's gonna leave one of them lying around."

Charlie: "Fine. FINE- let me think-"

Vaggie: "Can we think less and focus more on you not shaking like a damn leaf first? C'mon, sit down-"

Charlie: "-the angel Carmilla killed. We'll use that one."

Vaggie: "We could use a deep breath right now."

Charlie: "It's head was missing when heaven picked up the body."

Vaggie: "Yeah? An Overlord probably has it hanging on their wall, big whoop, Charlie please slow down-"

Charlie: "If it's head was left behind then maybe it's halo was too! If we find the Overlord-"

Vaggie: "No. No more deals with Overlords."

Charlie: "I'll make as many damn deals with them as I want!"

Vaggie: "But not for ME, alright! If it's about me then you don't get to sell your fucking soul! Or bind it or whatever! You can't make me be the reason for that!"

Charlie: "Vaggie- we NEED that halo."

Vaggie: "No we don't. I don't."

Charlie: "You're dying without it!"

Vaggie: "I KNOW I am. But that's just, life!"

Charlie: "LIFE? Dying so soon isn't-!"

Vaggie: "Charlie, you're half seraphim. You mom was the original demon, your view on life expectancies is kinda skewed."

Charlie: "You said the halos let you live longer!"

Vaggie: "I said they keep us young. It's not the same thing."

Charlie: "It's still SOMETHING!"

Vaggie: "We don't even know that would help at this point, I've been in hell for years-"

Charlie: "Oh so we shouldn't even try!? Just, sit back and go 'well we haven't don't anything to stop this but I guess it was just completely unavoidable'-"

Vaggie: "It probably WON'T help. No, listen- It worked up in heaven and for short runs down here- that doesn't mean it'd have any power to draw on in hell. It's probably just a fancy looking hoop down here."

Charlie: "Then we'll get you back to heaven until we can make it work."

Vaggie: "I'm not going back to fucking heaven!"

Charlie: "AND I'M NOT LETTING YOU STAY HERE AND DIE!"

Vaggie: "You can't kick me out- this is OUR hotel, not just yours."

Charlie: "YOU- you-"

Vaggie: "We need. To calm down."

Charlie: "CALM DOWN! Every second you spend down here your body is-"

Vaggie: "Not dying anytime soon, okay? I'm fine. This whole talk has gone way too far way, way to fast. That's my fault for not thinking about all this sooner, but. Just. Take a breath. Let's just take a breath, take a break, and come back to this when we're both had a moment."

Charlie: "....."

Charlie: "Did you plan all this."

Vaggie: "What?"

Charlie: "Owning the hotel together. Making sure you couldn't be forced out of hell."

Vaggie: "That's not why we started the hotel-"

Charlie: "No, that's not what I was thinking when we started it. But were you?"

Vaggie: "Charlie... you're connecting dots that aren't there..."

Charlie: "You're here. You're here and dying and don't want to leave."

Vaggie: "I'd be dying up in heaven too."

Charlie: "But your wings wouldn't already be GREY, would they?"

Vaggie: "They'd still be an exorcist's wings, if I'd never left-"

Charlie: "Well they're not anymore and going back wouldn't change that. All it would do is help you stay alive."

Vaggie: "I don't want that life."

Charlie: "It's that or die."

Vaggie: "You're being dramatic-"

Charlie: "You've always said you liked that about me. Was that a lie too?"

Vaggie: "No."

Charlie: "Do you want to die, Vaggie?"

Vaggie: "Of course I don't- I could've just let Lute-"

Charlie: "Die, not be killed. Does it make you feel better about all the people you've killed? You'll die and join them, sooner rather than later?"

Vaggie: "......."

Vaggie: "... I want. To spend my life. With you."

Charlie: "No you don't." (voice cracking) "You can't do that when you're dead."

Vaggie: "That's not my fault."

Charlie: "Your choice though, right?"

Vaggie: "It’s not same thing-"

Charlie: "Yes it is. You want to be one who leaves."

Vaggie: "....... wouldn't you?"

Charlie: "...."

Vaggie: "..."

Charlie: "I don't.... want it to b- be like this."

Vaggie: "I know."

Charlie: "I want US! Not like this."

Vaggie: "I know, sweetie, I know... I'm so sorry-"

Charlie: "Stop it." (muffled in vaggie's hair) "You don't want this either, stop apologizing for it!"

Vaggie: "... I shouldn't have let you think, it could be different."

Charlie: "...."

Charlie: "It will be."

Vaggie: "Okay. Denial, that's a, normal step in-"

Charlie: "No- It WILL BE. I- We going to- we'll MAKE it different."

Vaggie: "I don't think we can..."

Charlie: "We will."

Vaggie: "Charlie-"

Charlie: "Damnit just trust me! If we can save a sinner's soul, then we can f-fucking save you."

Vaggie: "....."

Charlie: "Please, Vaggie. Can we try?"

Vaggie: "...it'll be a waste of time."

Charlie: "No it won't."

Vaggie: "We're already not gonna have forever together, sweetie. Why not just. Enjoy what we do have?"

Charlie: "I will! We will."

Charlie: "But we're going to have longer than one century for it."

Vaggie: "Half that, maybe..."

Charlie: "That's not the sound of trying. Vaggie. Please."

Vaggie: "...well... if you're gonna look at me like that about it..."

Charlie: "Don't joke about this."

Vaggie: "I'm not." (smile) "I just know better than to doubt Charlie Morningstar when she gets an idea into her cute, stubborn head."

Charlie: "All my head needs right now is an answer. One word. Clear. Honest."

Vaggie: "... alright. Yes. We can try."

Charlie: "Thank you." (kiss) "Thank you, thank you, thank you..."

Vaggie: "But you have to promise me. No deals. No selling souls- not for my sake, not even a little bit. Got it?"

Charlie: "Why are you so strict about this-"

Vaggie: "Because it's your soul."

Charlie: "-people make deals all the time! YOU made one with-"

Vaggie: "And it creeped me out even though it wasn't with my soul. Do you promise?"

Charlie: "This is a heaven thing isn't it?"

Vaggie: "Do you promise."

Charlie: "...."

Charlie: "I won't make, deals with anyone in hell, to save you."

Vaggie: (breathes out) "Then... we'll start by talking to Carmilla tomorrow."

Charlie: "TOMORROW!? But that-"

Vaggie: "Will give us time to figure out what we actually wanna SAY to Carmilla. She's still an Overlord, Charlie. Any info we give her she'll want to sure to keep her family safe first."

Charlie: "I know the fucking feeling..."

Vaggie: "So we're slowing this down and doing things carefully, so we do them right. Right?"

Charlie: "Right." (grumbling) "Fools rush in- blah blah BLAH."

Vaggie: "That's my girl."

Vaggie: (hesitates) (tentative smooch)

Vaggie: "Feeling better?"

Charlie: "Fine. I wish you'd stop asking ME that."

Vaggie: "Just glad you're not shaking so much anymore. Kinda scared me for a second."

Charlie: "I'm fine." (sighs) (hugs vaggie) "I didn't mean..."

Vaggie: "I didn't mean to scare you, too."

Charlie: "It's fine. You'll be okay."

Vaggie: "Mm. Already am."

Charlie: "And we're NOT looking for a replacement hotel manager."

Vaggie: "We're gonna need-"

Charlie: "NO."

Vaggie: "-okay. We'll hold off on it. We've got time."

Charlie: (holds her closer) (glares at distant light of heaven)

[liveontelevision]

Hi! im in love with your Lucifer fics. You newest one has me gripped and i cant wait for the next part.

You got me brainstorming more Lucifer fics ideas

I was thinking of one where the reader has been helping/supporting Charlie at the Hotel and is almost like a mother/parental figure to her, and when Lucifer arrives he acts cold/mean no matter how much she tries to be polite. But then he warm up to her after see how much the reader really cares about Charlie and then he finally realises hes in love with her.

♡

Thank you! I literally could write about him for hours (kinda have already) and I really liked this prompt, so here's just a lil' something for ya, anon ♡

Honey | Lucifer x Reader

No smut, just some cute fluff here-

♡♡♡

As soon as you arrived in Hell, your eyes were drawn to the drab-looking hotel just up the hill. And you flew to it like a moth to a TV screen. That being said, you've known Charlie and the other residents for as long as you've been dead. They've all seen you at your worst, having to be the unlucky few to explain your death. Although, Charlie's comfort really made the whole being dead thing much more palatable. During this time, while she's supported you, you've seen her through thick and thin as well. Pretty soon, you became an important part of her life, offering a more parental influence when she needed one. You didn't really die at an old age, but a lot went on in your lifetime to give you the maturity to comfort people that way and you were always happy to do it.

Considering your skill set, some of the residents went to you in the same fashion. A little task you took to, just to help out, was fixing up some articles of clothing for people. It was a great mindless task for you to do, considering Alastor wasn't a fan of having phones and TVs in the hotel. So you simply sat, humming a little tune as you fixed up something from Angel's wardrobe.

Your trance was broken, seeing a pair of slender legs in front of you. Following them up, you finally meet eyes with a nervous-looking Charlie. She's fidgeting with her fingers, still trying to find the courage to say whatever she came to you for.

"You need something, hun? You can talk to me, c'mere." With a sweet voice, you patted the cushion on the couch next to you and kept on working. She let out a heavy breath you didn't realize she was holding.

"Soooo... my dad is coming to visit and I - uh.." she still struggled to find her words. Considering you've barely been outside the hotel, you really didn't question how big of a deal Lucifer was. But to see Charlie getting flustered about a little visit from her own father did make you feel uneasy.

"I guess - I don't know, I'm just nervous, is all! It's not that big a deal, I mean, he's my dad, but also.. he's... my dad..?" You nodded your head.

"Seems like a big deal. He's the king of Hell, so it makes sense that you're nervous. Can I help with anything?" Acknowledging her feelings and making sure to keep your tone smooth, you finally set aside the mini skirt you were fixing up to face her.

"Oh! Um - I was wondering if you could bake something for everyone! Niffty's making cookies, but I think dad might enjoy something a little more.." You both thought back on the disturbing display of desserts Niffty had made for everyone in the past, it sent a chill down your spine. You nodded your head fast, taking a hold of her hands.

“Yeah, I'd love to! I'll make sure it's something your dad would like, too! How's that sound?" You absolutely loved to bake, and doing it for other people always made it even better. There was some pressure on you, considering who you were catering to, but remembering that this is for Charlie, kept any nerves at bay. Charlie, who just happened to be shedding a tear or two of relief, gave you a hug that would've snapped you in two if it had gone on any longer. You were used to those at this point.

The day went by fast, Charlie preparing and stressing over little decisions for her dad's visit. You got the OK to bake an apple pie. A specialty you would make when you were alive, you went all out. You'd always make the dough from scratch, soak the apples in a homemade cinnamon butter, and somehow managed to spiffy it up to a commercial extent. You were batting off Pentious and Niffy as best you could until he arrived.

You saw a side of Charlie during that visit that you haven't really seen before. She was nervous, sure, but it was clear she felt so defeated. Each little quip on sinners being hopeless or how Charlie shouldn't even bother in this "whole redemption deal" made you understand her paranoia more and more.

As Charlie introduced each of the staff and residents, Lucifer got distracted by the still steaming pie sitting on the table in front of everyone. He definitely wasn't the only one whose mouth was watering just by staring at it, but he was the one who bit the bullet, taking the first piece. 

"And this is -" a loud hum of satisfaction interrupted Charlie's introduction to Sir Pentious, who looked deflated at the change in topic.

"Charlie! Good golly - This is great!" With another bite and hum, you watched his eyes flutter shut for a moment. A little boost of confidence immediately making you giddy.

"Oh! Well, that's good! Because this is our other guest! She made it herself -" Charlie took a hold of your shoulders and dragged you to face Lucifer. You could feel the nervous tremble coming from her hands. You looked up at her for a moment and smiled, placing a hand over top of hers. It really did seem to calm her nerves. And for some reason, he didn't seem to like that. 

"Well - I'll eat anything with apples since they're obviously my favorite. It’s not that special." He tossed the half-finished plate back onto the table and wiped his hands clean. He ignored you.

"U-Uhm.. yeah, that's - that's everyone, I guess!" Charlie stammered, not expecting him to turn such a cold shoulder to you. He spent his time examining you. Considering he didn't even care enough to learn your name at that moment, he sure was taking his time looking you up and down.

"Well then!" He clasped his hands together after finally tearing his eyes off you. "How about a little tour?" He suggested, clearly not invested in the other sinners now. Charlie looked down at you and you nodded, starting to clean up some little things around you. It was a nervous habit you had, but it helped to keep your hands busy and your mind off the insulting interaction you just had to endure.

Charlie took Vaggie's hand and went on to give the tour. Once they were out of sight around the corner, you slumped your shoulders letting out a groan.

"Short king's givin' you the cold shoulder, huh?" Angel leaned on the back of the couch, crossing one leg over the other.

"Right? Okay, glad I'm not the only one who noticed that. Is something wrong with the pie..?" Looking over to Sir Pentious, who was licking the already empty pie tin clean, he quickly shook his head.

"Maybe's got a thing for ya." Angel teased, jabbing you with his elbow. You rolled your eyes, finally taking the pie tin from Pentious.

"He didn't even get my name, I'm sure that's not it. Whatever.. " you grumbled, taking any dishes you could to the kitchen to keep your mind from exploring that option.

The extermination day battle was here. You followed the armies who attacked the hoards of exorcists when they finally arrived. As the battle went on, you hated to admit it, you found yourself in awe watching Lucifer kick Adam's ass. The sight of his wings and the little V thing - and obviously his immense power, somehow managed to make you blush as you were attacking angels. Definitely a new sensation for you, with the bloodlust muddling your other senses, but it was easy to forget about it once the new hotel was renovated and everyone was finally settled in.

As everything went back to normal, you went back to helping Charlie with anything you could, drinking at the bar with everyone and generally things went back to the way they were. There was only one difference. Lucifer made the decision to stay at the hotel. It was commendable for sure, his change of heart to support Charlie through this change, but it only left you feeling conscious about everything you'd do when he was around. The underlying crush didn't help much. Or Angel's teasing about said crush.

You really did try, when you'd pass him the hallway, you'd always send him your most sincere smile. Or when you spotted him reading or working on anything, you'd try and spark any kind of conversation or ask if he needed help. He never needed help. He was always too busy to chat. You honestly couldn't remember a time he looked you in the eyes before. You bit your tongue. No need to worry Charlie, or anyone really, about some feud you possibly made up in your mind.

It was especially important to you to not stress Charlie right now. Starting the hotel back up was a big task alone, but the loss of Sir Pentious weighed on everyone. And Charlie took full blame for it. A late night, where she most likely stayed up to try and find any kind of hope for redemption, any speck of proof to bring sinners in, she found herself burnt out. Approaching the memorial for Pentious, you stood beside Charlie. You found her visiting it every now and then, and when you did, you knew she needed a check in. And you were right. Without a word, Charlie suddenly clung to you. She went on about how it was all her fault. How he was gone because of her. How nothing seems to be working and she's terrified that it's all for nothing.

It took a while for her to calm down, but you would never leave her like this. By now, the two of you had fallen to the ground, sitting on your knees.

"Charlie, you are doing your absolute best. It's okay to cry, you know that. Think of everything you've done for everyone else, I mean - Pen would've never sacrificed himself if it wasn't for his friends." You brushed a tear from her still wet and puffy eyes. "You did that. You gave him something worth dying for." It was a hard truth, but you hoped it was enough for her. She's done more for you than she'd ever know, and you'd do anything to give it back. You didn't realize, but before approaching Charlie, Lucifer was pacing a nearby corridor, battling the decision to go up to her himself. He hadn't said much to her since extermination day, and he had always been nervous about saying something wrong, making things worse. Before he had the chance to muster up the courage, you had swooped in. It confused him. He should've been jealous or hurt, that he wasn't able to calm her down himself. That you beat him to the punch. But he didn't really feel that way, no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise. Was it admiration? Sitting in the shadows until he assured Charlie was taken care of, he went back up to his workshop, flustered for a number of reasons.

There was one moment, where things started to look good. It was a regular night at the bar, you, Angel and Husk had gotten on the topic of your lives, looking at the positives which was a rarity. Charlie and Lucifer were nearby, Charlie enthralled in the discussions of what Earth was like.

"My homelife? It wasn't anything fancy, but.. um.. - oh I had a farm, actually! I ran it with my parents, it was.. nice." You hold onto your arms, a bittersweet smile on your face. With a light bulb going off in Charlie's head, she nudged you with her elbow.

"You didn't happen to have any birds or chickens or ducks - did you?" She hummed. She noticed the wedge between you and her dad, and it hurt her just as much as it hurt you. She's little miss "everyone should get along", of course, this hurt her. You didn't notice, but Lucifer peaked up at you for a split second before distracting himself by swaying the drink in his glass.

"Oh..? Oh! Yeah! Yes, actually! We raised a few ducklings that a neighbor gave us - we got them as eggs, so we got to see them grow up and everything!" Going on, telling a story about how you snuck one into your room to keep it as a pet, only to be scolded for it. You had the whole group in the palm of your hand. Including Lucifer. You met his eyes for just a moment, the twinkle in them immediately drawing you in. With a quick smile, he became flustered. He scoffed, pushing himself away from the bar and leaving. As much as that should've infuriated you, seeing those eyes and the growing redness across the apple of his cheeks felt like a win.

Since the hotel was newer, and word hadn't gotten out about Pentious's redemption yet, it was still vacant beside you, Angel, and occasionally Cherry Bomb. That gave the whole group a lot of time to enjoy the large space in the meantime.

Certain nights, Alastor would play the large, golden, piano that Lucifer had so generously created. This led to Charlie singing along to whatever he was playing, of course, and when Lucifer was in a good mood - or drunk - he would even pitch in. He'd sit atop the piano, his legs crossed, as he hiked the matching golden fiddle to his shoulder and played along. It was truly a sight to see. His skills were unmatched, but it still seemed to melt into the rest of the contributions. It was as if he invented the damn thing (He did).

This sort of became a tradition, when everyone was in a good mood and Alastor wasn't getting on Lucifer's nerves too much, everyone would join in, singing and dancing. It was rare, but Damn was it fun when it did happen. One of these nights, Alastor started off with a song that you knew, and had actually introduced to Charlie. She gasped as soon as she recognized the tune, pulling you close by both your hands to sing along. You had as good of a voice as anyone did, in a musical rendition of Hell, but you mainly stuck to harmonizing little things with Charlie. Swinging around with each other, until you were dizzy and laughing, you noticed that the room seemed a little empty.

Lucifer was seated where he usually was, on his phone. His fiddle was placed carefully at his side, and he was scrolling through his goddamn phone. 

"Don't feel like joining us, Your Highness?" You kept to titles since it was obvious he wasn't warmed up to you just yet. Even after living with you for a month or so.

"Mm. Don't know the song. It's not my cup of tea, just can't seem to get into it." He says bluntly, never looking up to you.

“Oh, come on! Just play along, it’s just for fun!” You slurred your words a bit, whatever you had been sipping throughout the night causing, what you would call, an outburst.

“Hm! Well, I’m not exactly here for your entertainment, am I? God forbid a sinner doesn't have fun in their eternal punishment.” The room went silent. You felt so defeated. You've been trying since the day you met him to try and at least get on good terms with him, but it seemed like he would even prefer a night with Alastor over you. Things like this never bugged you much, you tried so hard to not let it bug you, but when Charlie looked over to you, with those worried eyes, it was hard to keep back the bottled-up disappointment.

With a little sniffle and a quick wipe of your eyes with your sleeve, you start heading back up the newly decorated grand staircase, without a word to anyone.

"Heyyy - Dad..! I think you maybe.. might've... I don't know - hurt her feelings..? Would you wanna - " Charlie carefully approached her father, who immediately lit up and placed his device down when she spoke. "Could you talk to her? Maybe just check up on her..?" She was speaking barely above a whisper.

“You have to apologize. Um.. sir.” Vaggie finally blurted out. His smile was nervous, his eye twitching a bit at the concept. Taking in a deep breath, he rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a sad little laugh.

"Well, uh.. I don't know, Kiddo, maybe she's just tired." He muttered, obviously hesitant at the idea.

"Sounds like the king can't handle a little damsel in distress to me. Would you like me to comfort her, my dear?" Alastor was quick to chime in from the piano bench, offering a sympathetic smile to Charlie. Why did the concept of that make Lucifer’s blood boil?

"Oh fuck you, bambi, I can handle it." With a quick hop off of the piano top, he almost stormed up the stairs to find you. Definitely not what Charlie was hoping to motivate him, but she wasn't an idiot. She knew Alastor had his reasoning for that. She mouthed a little thank you to him, once Lucifer turned his back.

You were ecstatic to learn that Charlie worked an extensive library into the hotel. Walking into its large double doors, you almost struggled to see the back of the room with how full it was. You had a little corner you claimed as your own, leaving one of your blankets draped on the little loveseat there, and setting aside a pile of books you were still working through. It was a great place to calm yourself down after what had just happened.

Hearing heels click against the tile, you wrapped yourself tighter in your blanket as you pulled your legs up to your chest. 

"I'm fine Charlie, it's fine.. I just need a second, go back to the lobby." You shooed off the figure with one hand, wiping your face with the other.

"Ahha- Nope! Try again -" with a nervous chuckle, Lucifer greeted you with an awkward wave. Interrupting the silence by clearing his throat, he gestured to the seat next to you. With a quick nod, finally snapping out of your surprised state, you shifted your position to sit beside him. It wasn't exactly a two-person couch. Not for two people who might hate each other, at least. I mean it was a loveseat. He struggled to keep his distance, leaving your legs barely brushing together.

"Soooo.. you, uh- like.. reading..?" He asked after a long silence. You were mainly confused by his words, but simply nodded in response.

“Yeah it's - I-I love it in here.. There wasn’t anything like this on Earth, so this is nice." You managed to speak out, between sniffles. He agreed with a little hum, fidgeting with the ring on his finger.

“Glad you like it. It's uhh - just happens to be my personal collection.” He puffed out his chest, looking at his clawed nails with a little smirk on his face. He had no idea why he thought that would help, but it actually did a bit. when he looked your direction, you were slack-jawed in awe. The sight made him turn a bit red in the cheeks, quickly looking away, he patted the top of his legs to fill the silence.

“That's really cool! I guess it makes sense - considering you're older than the dawn of time- but, still. Thank you, I suppose. For letting me - I mean - us use it.” You rambled on for a moment your words became quieter the more you gushed.

“Is that supposed to be an insult?” He asked between laughter. You made him laugh. You hoped he didn't see the sparkle in your eyes at the notion. You stalled, lost in thought, before quickly shaking your head.

The two of you sat there for a moment, the awkward silence sitting a little more comfortably than before. Finally, Lucifer let out a sigh of defeat. 

"It’s my fault, right?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"Oh, uh.. I guess so, but.. I mean, I'm kind of drunk so it might be something with that - but I'm fine, I swear." You waved your hands in an attempt to soothe the serious discussion. But Lucifer knew better than anyone what someone holding their true intentions back looks like.

"You're really good for Charlie. I.. I wish I could take care of her. Like you do." He admitted. It surprised you for a moment. Was that why he's been so cold to you? Was there some form of jealousy in there? Or was he really concerned that you would replace him in some fashion?

"C'mon, you're just saying that to make me feel better. I saw you on extermination day, none of this would even be here without that little pep talk, you’ve done more for her than you know, I think. Charlie.. she loves you." The words made him perk up a little. Maybe even a king needs reassurance sometimes.

"Oh- Um.. I guess she does, huh..?" You could hear his smile. The two of you sat in silence for a moment. You didn't even realize you had the smallest smile on your own face. But he did. With another nervous laugh, he hesitates before planting a hand on your leg, just above your knee. No time like the present, you suppose.

"I’m sorry. I really am. For.. everything. You're actually amazing. I-I mean it.." Without a response from you yet, he lets his gentle touch linger a moment longer. You leaned in towards him, the smile on your face turning sly.

"Yeah? You think so? I almost thought you hated me." You were teasing him. He's been so cold to you this whole time, you just had to take advantage of the moment. He turns a bit red, covering his mouth with his free hand as he clears his throat into his fist.

"Of course I don't.." He muttered.

"Soo, would you say you like me?" You drew out your words, walking your fingers up his arm.

"W-What? How - " He clamped his hand over his mouth before desperately trying to rationalize his thoughts, " Of course I do! I just said you're great with Charlie and I -ahh.. I love Charlie, so I like - " He coughs up his words, " - I liked your pie, that you made! And you have a good voice, too, and your little duck story was cute, so - " God bless this man's tendency to overshare when he's nervous. The alcohol definitely gave you the little boost of confidence you needed to question him like this, but you would be lying if you said you didn't notice his reactions to you whenever you weren't paying attention. Or whenever he thought you weren't paying attention. It finally dawned on you that some of those glares might have had some other motivations.

You knew when to reel it in, but considering his hand was still on your leg, he moved it up a bit even, you assumed he was okay with the teasing. Maybe even enjoying it. Delicately drawing your fingers across his jaw, to his chin, you pulled his gaze to meet yours. You could feel his hand tense at every little touch.

"You have really nice eyes, Luci-" He audibly gulped, tugging at his bowtie. "You’ve been avoiding looking at me for months.. I wish you'd look at me more." You almost pouted, your fingers still lingering under his chin. With the slightest movement, he followed your hand towards your face. He took his hand off your thigh for a moment, only for you to take a hold of it and place it on your back. He was the one who pulled you closer at this point.

“Y-you can't just say things like that.. it’s embarrassing..” He muttered, trying his best to not close the gap between your bodies. 

“Embarrassing? I’m not embarrassed, your highness. Are you? Do I.. make you nervous? Hmm?” You placed your hands just above his knees, leaning closer through your chest. Sucking in his lips, he did his best to stay silent, knowing he’d dig his own grave no matter how he answered.

“I just think you’re so pretty, Luci, I can't help myself.” Before he could properly react, you leaned in close enough for him to feel your breath against his ear. Damn, what did you drink? You could feel his hand on your back clenching, either to bring you closer or just out of sheer nerves. With a little hum against his ear, he let out the quietest whimper. It apparently took both of you by surprise, you leaned back to get a look at his face with wide eyes. Meeting his eyes this time sent you both into a blushing, nervous state.

With a deep breath, you cupped his face after brushing some of his golden locks back into place, then gave him the lightest kiss on his lips. You didn't even linger long enough for him to return it, and he was clearly distraught by it. You unwrapped yourself from your blanket, giving a dumbstruck Lucifer another quick peck on his forehead, before standing.

“I’m going back downstairs. Take your time, Hun!” You called out so sweetly as if you hadn't just left him a heated mess. 

Finally returning to the lobby, you walked with your chest puffed out, beckoning for another drink from Husk.

"Did.. did Dad check in on you? Are you okay?" Charlie carefully approached you, and was immediately disarmed by your grin.

"Yup! I feel much better now. He apologized and we had a little.. Discussion. Thanks, hun." You said sweetly, taking a sip of the drink Husk slid into your hand. Angel gave you a dirty glare, and after meeting his eyes you quickly looked away.

"Well great! Where is he? Maybe we can pick back up where we left off!" Charlie clasped her hands together enthusiastically.

"Here! I-I'm here! Great idea, honey, let's keep playing!" He tripped over himself, rushing into the room and hoping nobody saw him re-fastening his tie. Sending him another quick smile, his face clearly hadn't cooled from the past events. He nearly dropped his fiddle, but as soon as he prepared he picked up the same song that was left unfinished moments before.

♡♡♡

I wanted to get through some asks, but I'm still working on Suffer, no worries, my friends

!Taglist!

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[toiletpudding]

HAZBIN HOTEL FANFIC

Adam x Lute ⚠️NSFW⚠️

I did it, I made a thing. 😀

Warnings: sex, a blow job, (light cock and ball torture here, Lute's a biter and Adam's into it,) swearing, Daddy kink, dirty talk, (it's Adam so, I mean, yeah) "What's a clitoris?" -The first man, small drug use mention, both of them are stoned, not much for plot, friends with benefits are what these guys are, Lute gets aroused at the idea of murdering things.

-She was bloodthirsty as fuck in that last episode you guys.

.

.

.

Nothing to do but Fuck, Perform, and Kill:

"-and then the bitch has the nerve to call me a sexist asshole, me! I fuckin' LOVE women, they've got like, a bunch of hot holes to stick your dick into whenever you're bored, and I told her that and she..."

Lute inhaled the smoke from the bong, letting her mind wander as Adam continued to ramble on about his most recent fling. It had hardly been a day on Earth since they had found the body of one of their Exorcists. The idea that a hell spawn could kill one of her kind made her heavenly blood boil. She wanted to find whoever did it and pull their tongue out of their ass. Alas, Adam ordered her to wait, he'd said that in six months they would make sure this kind of thing never happened again. She knew he was right, and that they needed to be careful so that nobody caught on.

But fuuuuuuck was waiting boring. Lute was ready now, she wanted to charge down there and send every demon scurrying like bugs, to feel the excitement that only extermination brought these days. The adrenaline coursing through her golden veins as she pierced her victims' weak little bodies with her spear and listened to their pathetic screams.  Just thinking about it made her-

"Hey, Danger Tits." Lute turned, meeting her boss's scrutinizing gaze.

She straightened, clearing her throat, and ignoring the sudden heat in the pit of her belly. "Yes, Sir?"

"Are you listening?"

Lute nodded, "uh- yes sir, she gave you the bill for dinner."

"Yeah! Like, who the fuck do you think you are bitch, I'm fucking Adam. I shouldn't have to pay the bill-"

The extermination was one of the few things they had left for fun. And now not only was somebody trying to fight back, but Lucifer's brat wanted to redeem demons as a form of population control? It was fucking bullshit. Demons only deserved ,eternal damnation and death, and she deserved to have some fucking fun. The only thing they had left to do after building heaven was fucking, performing, and killing, and nobody was going to take even one of those pleasures away from her.

"Well? Are you gonna or not?" Lute blinked, registering that Adam's face was directly in front of hers. Fuck, the weed was making it hard to focus.

"Uuh, er...Y-yes?" She said, uncertain to what she'd just agreed to.

"Sweet." The large cushy sofa they were both sitting on creaked in protest as the huge angel sank back into it. Leaning against the armrest. He propped one foot up onto the cushion, and let the other rest on Lute's knees. He watched her expectantly, a shit eating grin on his face.

Lute stared at him, "What're you doing?"

Adam's smile dropped, "Pfft, is the pot making you stupid or something? You said you'd help me out."

"Help you with...?"

"The blue balls that dumb skank left me with, c'mon! I'm harder than a rock here! Put that thing down and show me a good time, bitch."

Lute gave him an annoyed look.

"You wouldn't have blue balls if you didn't pick one of heaven's residents"

"Well I thought she looked pretty fuckin' chill, how was I supposed to know she'd have a stick up her cunt...You gonna get my dick wet already or what?"

Lute rolled her eyes, oh well, there were worse things Lute could have said yes to, and it's not like she had anything else to do other than wait for extermination day.

Setting the bong aside Lute turned to Adam, who was smiling again.

"That's the spirit babe, now come to Daddy." A shuddering jolt goes through her, and something clenches in her belly.

Wordlessly, Lute crawled on top of the larger angel, straddling him and looking down. He was gazing up at her with the usual cocky smirk on his face, prominent as ever, even without his mask, "Well? You just gonna stare at me all night? I know I'm good looking as fuck, but c'mooon."

She could feel the eagerness underneath his robes pressing up against her, and through the way he was gripping her hips tightly, fingers kneading into her flesh.

Lute leaned down and pressed her lips against his. Adam returned the kiss, already trying to push his tongue into her mouth, and pulling her tightly against him. Lute's breath stuttered as his hands wandered up to her chest, roughly groping her breasts through her clothes.

"Fuckin nice," he mumbled against her lips, fingers finding her nipples through the fabric and tugging on them. Lute let out a small moan, encouraging him to continue.

She reached up, running her hands through the mess of brown tangles he called hair, forcing her fingers through whenever she felt resistance, enjoying the small grunts of pain he let out and how his groping became a little more erratic. Both of them were breathing hard when they broke the kiss.

"Fuck," Adam panted, rolling his erection into her hard enough that he nearly bucked Lute off. She gripped his shoulders to steady herself, pushing back against his rutting hips, enjoying the sensation of his clothed cock pressing into the heat between her legs.

Lute dipped her head, pressing her lips to the indents of his throat, suckling and biting, she clenched down on a particularly sensitive spot and tugged until his breath was hitching and he was squirming underneath her.

She let go after the skin was red and painful looking, pressing sloppy kisses up his neck and jaw, pulling him in again for another heated make-out session when she reached his lips.

The kiss didn't last long this time, before Adam was pulling away and whispering in her ear where else he wanted her mouth to be.

Never one to disobey an order Lute slid downward, positioning herself between his crossed legs. His erection was straining against his clothes now, ready to pop out like a jack in the box.

After an awkward struggle of shifting his robes out of the way, and with only a little help from Adam, Lute was finally able to pull his dick out from its confines. Despite being the self proclaimed "Dick master," his was relatively average, and only a little on the longer side. Nothing for Lute to complain about though.

Her hand was already sticky with cum, as it dribbled out of the tip of his cock in a steady trickle. Geez, he really was pent up.

Adam nudged her closer with his legs, "Come on come on come on! What're you waiting for bitch? It's not like it's gonna suck itsel- oooh, fuuuck yeeeah."

Without warning Lute took him into her mouth down to the base and held it there. Adam gripped the back of her head, clutching handfuls of her hair tight enough to yank a sizable clump right off of her scalp if he wanted to. His legs trembled and his feet scrabbled for purchase, heels digging into Lute's calves. Lute didn't move for a moment longer, seeing the First Man grovel underneath her always turned her on more than it probably should.

When his hips started twitching forward Lute began to slide her tongue up and down his length smoothly, the acrid and salty flavor of him coating her taste buds overwhelmed her senses completely.

Adam spat out a series of curses when Lute began to bob her head quickly, going down as far as she could until his mushroom cap bumped the back of her throat, and sucking hard when she came up to the tip. The brutal pace she set for him doesn't give Adam a chance to steady himself or even to make a snarky comment, he was completely at her mercy.

The fact that the most powerful Exorcist in heaven, who could incinerate her with a single finger gun pointed in her general direction, could barely even form a coherent word had her rubbing her thighs together in an attempt to give just a little bit of the pooling heat between her legs some attention.

"Don't fuckin stop Lute, don't stop," judging by the way he was thrusting his hips against her face and that his voice was high with excitement, Adam was already on the verge of blowing his load. Lute only moved faster and dragged her tongue across him more.

"Fuck, holy shit," Adam gasped, Lute could feel his hands shaking, "I'm gonna-fuck-" she stopped moving her head, letting him take control, and immediately he was cramming his dick into her mouth as much as he could, chasing after his orgasm, moaning with each thrust and-

And right when he was at his peak Lute bit down. His startled, pained scream was probably loud enough to be heard outside of the room.

"Fuckin, aaah, you crazy bitch. I was about to nut-fuck!" He pulled his dick out of her mouth to inspect it. Beneath the glistening spit and pre-cum covering his shaft, bright red bite marks indented his pale skin. When he saw them he began to laugh.

"Not yet," Lute rasped, she cleared her throat, "You're not done yet."

"Fuuuck," he laughed, "I didn't think I could get any harder, ow by the way."

"Serves you right, sir." Adam grinned darkly and pushed her hair out of her face.

"Do it again." Lute leaned forward and took his dick into her mouth again. His breathy sigh turned into a pain choke when her teeth clenched down, body as tense as a harp string. His hand tightened around the back of her skull. All it would take is one hard squeeze and he could easily crush her head into a pulp. The thought has her biting down a little bit harder.

When she let go Adam deflated underneath her, "You wanna get a facial?" He panted, "'Cause this is a great way to get a shiiiiiit!"

Lute clamped down on his cock again, her eyes on his face the whole time. Watching the way it twisted in pain and pleasure. She couldn't decide which she liked seeing more. Adam's lips were kiss-red and his eyes were closed and he looked absolutely exquisite. Albeit, It wasn't enough for Lute to grant him an easy finish. Not by a long shot.

She let go of his dick, and the moan that came out of him was like rock music to her ears. She crawled up on top of Adam once again; giving him an open-mouthed kiss. He kissed her back with less focus than before, like he was halfway out of his body.

Denied-orgasm Adam didn't last long, soon he was kissing Lute viscously, nipping at her lips hard enough to make her grunt in pain. "You know, you're supposed to help me with my blue balls, not make it worse." He grumbled against her lips.

Lute pulled back and looked him in the eye, both of their gazes were alight with desire. Eyes like glowing torches. "I've got something else for that." She made a show of sliding her fingers underneath the hem of her dress and down the front of her skin tight pants, watching him the entire time.

Adam's grin split across his face and he sat up. "Aw, fuck yes!" Somehow Lute ended up underneath him, a difficult feat when even a couch this size could barely fit Adam.

He reached up, tugging the dress's neckline down to get easier access to her tits. He fondled one of them, his other hand diving between their bodies to drag her pants down far enough that she could wiggle her legs out of them before groping at her crotch.

Lute shoved that hand away immediately. Beside math, the next thing Adam knew absolutely nothing about was the anatomy of a woman, and what Lute didn't need was to feel the stretch and burn as he stuffed his fingers inside of her dry.

Lute shoved that hand away immediately. Beside math, the next thing Adam knew absolutely nothing about was the anatomy of a woman, and the last thing Lute needed was to feel the stretch and burn as he stuffed his fingers inside of her dry.

Lute sucked on her index and middle finger briefly, just enough to get them dripping before sliding them underneath her clothes, nudging her undergarments to the side. Her fingers just barely brushed against her folds and already her breath was hitching. She focused on her clit instead, and it didn't take long before she was able to slide her fingers in with no resistance.

Adam grabbed at her chest while she quickly prepped herself, switching between massaging her breasts to pulling her nipples and twisting them until she moaned.

"Fuck, I love your tits, they're so fuckin soft. You like it when Daddy plays with'em like this, huh bitch?" His dirty talk only served to excite her even more, Lute curled her fingers inside and her thighs tensed.

Her breasts didn't hold Adam's attention long before he was pressing his cock forward, the head grinding against the back of her hand. Lute didn't need to be told twice. She withdrew her fingers and wrapped her legs around the other angel's hips as best she could. Adam sank down onto his elbows, and she was enveloped completely in his robes, her vision nothing but white and gold.

Her back arched as his dick prodded against her hole, before sliding up and brushing her clit. He thrusted, but missed again. "Fuckin-" Adam muttered to himself, reaching down to guide himself inside.

Lute's folds parted for his pole. Even after prepping herself the stretch still made her clit beg for reprieve. Lute's head dropped onto the sofa cushion.

" Oh, shit, " she hissed, words barely audible, as he slipped into her depths.

A strangled noise came from Adam's throat when he bottomed out inside of her, shudders racking his body as the sensation enveloped him. "Fuck, you could keep me warm all night like this," Adam breathed, cock twitching deep inside of her.

Lute jerked and moaned as his dick brushed against a spongy euphoric. It didn't take long before he was thrusting his hips, dragging his shaft out until only the tip remained inside and slamming back in in routine fashion. The way his veins felt, bulging along her inner walls was phenomenal.

She rolled her hips into his impatiently, wanting more, harder, faster. It wasn't until his mushroom cap snagged something particularly good that Lute let out an audible yelp.

Oh yeah, babe?" Adam jeered, aiming for that same spot. "Gonna gush on my cock? Bet it feels fuckin' good. I keep telling you my dick's the best."

He grasped the back of the couch to steady himself and began thrusting into her hard enough to rock the furniture and jostle Lute upwards until the top of her skull bumped against the armrest. The hard juts to her cervix had her head spinning. She whined as she brought her digits down to her aching clit, she grasped at one of her breasts with the other, clumsily groping herself.

"Fuck- gonna fuckin cream you," Adam panted, Lute moaned her agreement.

"Yeah?" He breathed into her ear, "You wannna get stuffed with Daddy's cum?"

His words sent a buzz down to her precious bud and twin peaks. His cock was electric and each burst of energy sent pleasure sparking up her spine. She was going to burst.

Spreading over her form like early sunlight, the orgasm caused Lute's eyes to roll back and her entire torso to tingle. Heat raised to her ears like a bad sunburn. "Fuckfuckfuckfuck! I'm- I'm-" she bit her tongue to fight a louder response, gasping as the pleasure consumed her completely.

Adam didn't stop thrusting, cradling the back of her head in one hand, the other still gripping the couch like a lifeline. He was holding her tighter, moving quicker, breath rattling in his chest, he was getting close.

Lute wrapped her arms around him, groping at his shoulders, his back, his ass, anywhere she could get a decent grip. Fuck she was ready for him to, to-

Adam's voice suddenly grew louder and he moaned with each thrust. Lute gasped as his cum painted her walls, filling her up completely.

"Fuck! Takeittakeittakeit, you fucking slut... !"

His moans broke off into heavy sighs and he gradually took more time between each thrust, slowing and slowing until he stopped altogether and collapsed on top of Lute with a throaty groan.

The only sound in the room after that was their shared breaths, they stayed that way for a while, until Lute eventually began to stir from her prone position underneath Adam. She loosened her grip around him; fingers aching from clutching onto his robe so tightly.

Turning her head so she wouldn't be smothered she wriggled until Adam finally huffed and shifted enough so that he wasn't fully on top of her.

"Aaah, that was good," he sighed dreamily.

Lute couldn't disagree, but the fluids caking her inner thighs was beginning to feel uncomfortable. "Was it necessary to finish inside, sir?"

Adam smiled, spoiled and content. "What can I say, I like usin' that hole as a cum dump."

Lute stared at him flatly, but her boss didn't notice, he was already swinging his head around. "Where'd ya put that bong, I'm starting to even out." He shifted and Lute's entire body jolted.

"Sir."

"Aw c'mon, don't tell me you smoked it all,"

"Sir."

"Oh, wait, nah, we're good."

"Adam."

"What?"

"Your dick is still inside."

"...Oh."

[strapathon]

★Flirt your way through it★ E.W teaser

Summary: You've always told yourself that you hated Ellie Williams. That you hated her smug face, her earthy scent, and a voice that puts people on their knees. But shit, you couldn't resist her, which is why when she asks you to help her get Cat back- again... It still perplexed you why you said yes. So here you are, once again, you're helping her make Cat jealous.

Content: Typical Queer longing, stupid gays, flirting, sexual intent, sexual content (soon don't worry).

Tropes: The Queers are stupid again, Hopeless Romantic, Fake Dating, One bed trope, Not so friends into Loves, School Photographer x School Libero

A/N: English isn't my first language and I'm mostly doing this for fun so don't expect the writing to be flawless. Also, comment to be on the tag list

You often question the definition of Friendship, does someone count as a friend even if the only thing they've done was cause destruction onto your well built sandcastles in the park when you were 12? If so, then Ellie Williams was not a friend. It may be for her since even after the constant bickering and avoiding you do she still manages to be in your daily life. Life really is unfair, you think as you glare at auburn haired bitch. She smiles as the girl next to her continues to twirl her hair and bite her lip. You look at them with disgust.

You heard from a friend of a friend that Ellie recently broke up with her girlfriend Cat and seeing this sight right now makes you want to throw your head into a trash can and vomit your lungs out. You've heard of Cat before, mostly from Ellie when you were kids. You swear, the girl could talk your ears off. You distinctly remember, you cinema hopped with the two when you were younger. There was never much of a Romantic chemistry between the two but things may have changed. It was in the Cinema bathroom, just as you were waiting for the staff to turn your head, Ellie whispered in your ear, "Cat's super pretty." you looked at her with a blank look on your face and scowled at her. That moment was confusing, because when she got the option to sit next to Cat she didn't take it and opted to sit next to you and Jesse. Guess she's not as bold as she looks.

You snap out of your thoughts when Ellie turns her back and catches you staring. You weren't scared to show her your disgust, looking at her up and down with your eyebrows scrunched and your eyes still glaring. Ellie winks. Typical. The period ends smoothly despite Ellie churning your eyes red from glaring when she purposely knocks your perfectly lined stationaries off your desk. You held your breath, closed your eyes, and counted one-to-five. It was a technique you found in a magazine for anger management; it's easy to say you use it a lot.

"Hey." You heard the birds stop singing, snakes in the Nile river devour their prey, and the angels cease the blow of the 7 trumpets. "What do you want, Ellie?" you hiss. "Woah, Woah, chill out tiger, just wanted to say Hi," Ellie put her hands in her pockets and smiled devilishly. "What do you need?" you ask her as you stand up and swing your backpack on. "Can't I just talk to my best friend?" Your head snaps at her with a look.. "Woah!" She says, swiftly putting her hands in the air. "Guess, I'm not your Best friend then." "Good thing you know." You replied.

"Look, I have a favor to ask." she says. This little fucking bitch. You roll your eyes at her. "You know how me and Cat broke up, right?" Mhm, you hum and roll your eyes.

"I need you to help me get back with her."

"And how do I do that?" You tell her. Gosh, she smells good. That was one more thing you hated about Ellie, other than her angel like looks and voice, her natural scent that drives you fucking crazy. Crazy angry, yeah.

Ellie takes a step closer, leaning towards your face. You take a step back, your knees hitting your desk and you stumble. Ellie smirks, leaning ever so close, her lips pursing near your ear. "You know what to do, sweetheart." You stare at her bare neck. 'Flirt your way through it' Deja vu sends fireworks throughout your body.

In that cinema years ago, Ellie inches close to you. "Help me get her, flirt your way through it."

Fucking Ellie Williams. You just can't resist.

tags: @paqerings

[boatcats]

Stipulations

My heart hurt when Ed got shackled to the rail in S2. I needed them to talk it through as a crew so fic happened.

Ed was not a master in the art of negotiation.

Or, well, that wasn't entirely true. He was great at aggressive negotiation. He was great at negotiation where there was a show of strength (or the illusion of strength) and an opponent forced to decide how much they wanted to risk. He was excellent at the old 'shot across the bow.' He wasn't great at the sort of negotiation where all you had was your earnest heart and a desire to go home.

He hadn't had much practice.

But he had his earnest heart and he wanted to go home so he was going to give it a try.

The crew had let him stay one more night. They'd even seemed chill about it. He really hadn't expected that. Now dawn light was creeping into the galley and in a few hours the crew was going to "figure this all out" as Oluwande had called it and Ed wanted to stay. He wanted to make it up to them. "Captain goes down with the ship" had always really meant "captain takes responsibility" and Ed wasn't captain anymore (was he? he felt a brief jolt of anxiety like a task left undone...no, probably not...). But he still wanted to take responsibility for what he could.

It was just....he had some stipulations.

"Stede," Ed whispered. "Stede wake up."

"Hmmph?" Stede rolled over and Ed was briefly stunned by his sleep tousled hair. God. "What is it, Ed? Are you hurting?" He looked so concerned. G o d.

"No," Ed said, "not really." Though he was hurting some - a mutiny would do that to you. "Not much... medium amount," he amended, trying to be truthful. "I just... the crew's gonna decide about me staying and I want to stay. But I don't want them to shackle me to the rail again." Ed fought down a surge of panic at the thought. "I don't like feeling trapped. It's fine if they want... I don't know, to get a few punches in. That's fair. But no surprise punches. They can do it to my face. I mean like ... they can face me about it... though I guess they can also punch my face. You know what I mean."

Ed was not going to feel trapped and he was not going to feel on edge. Everything else was fair game. But sometime during the night he'd realized he couldn't stay somewhere he didn't feel safe.

What he'd do he didn't know... but he couldn't stay. It was an awful negotiating position that boiled down to "please agree to these requirements or else I'll go back to the woods you banished me to in the first place."

Ed sighed. Then he glanced up and realized Stede looked heartbroken. Fuck.

"It's not you," Ed sighed. "I'd love to stay for you... it's just..." I might not be able to.

"It's not that," Stede said. "I just wish I hadn't. I wish they hadn't. I wish I'd protected you."

"You couldn't," Ed said. "Not exactly captain either, were you? A mutiny will do that. The whole thing about a mutiny is that it blurs who's in charge, blurs who makes decisions. And I knew what I was getting into. Not like I haven't had worse. I just..."

"You don't want it to happen again."

"Yeah."

"It wont. No one's going to punch you either. To your face or otherwise."

Ed smiled. It felt a little wobbly. But he could smile at Stede now. Stede looked so certain. Ed was not at all certain. He was pretty sure he was at least going to get punched. But Stede's optimism had always been appealing (as well as wildly sexy) so what the hell.

--

When Ed heard the crew's stipulations he laughed. A cat bell! He supposed that was fair. He'd maybe played up the sneaking around over the past few months.

But it felt - it felt like like chance to start over. Captain goes down with the ship. Captain incites a mutiny and wears a sackcloth for a while as a promise that he won't hurt his crew again. Yeah, that was fair.

And Stede's face - Stede's face - when he said "they've agreed not to hurt you - no one's going to hurt you on this ship again. You're safe."

I'm here. You're safe.

Yeah, that was.... That was.... yeah, that was... That was a lot. But it was good. Ed was pretty sure it was good.

--

So it came as an awful surprise when Jim found Ed in the shady spot he'd claimed on deck and said "Hey, about shackling you to the rail..."

Because fuck. Fuck. Of course they'd reconsider. It made sense but Ed had trusted them. And the Revenge was kind of a ways from land and maybe they'd give him back the complimentary dinghy. Hopefully they'd give him back the complimentary dinghy. But so much for cohabiting with Stede... that is... if they even let him leave at all. What if...

Apparently all this showed on his face. Because the next thing Jim said was "I think maybe you need to breathe?"

Ed took a shaky breath. "What about it?" he asked. He was pleased that his voice came out reasonably level.

"I'm really sorry we did that."

Wait. What?

"Wait. What?" Ed said.

Jim flushed. "You weren't... you were hurt and... you weren't going to hurt anyone. The rest of the stuff - not gonna apologize for that because it was fully self defense. But that... yeah."

"It's fine," Ed said. "Better to overreact than underestimate someone probably."

"It wasn't fine," Jim insisted. "It's not gonna happen again. We were... we were really jumpy. Roach made us a piñata and a cake and we nearly stabbed him. But still."

"A piñata?"

"Yeah, they wanted to like, blindfold us. To... reassure us we were safe and valued, I think?"

Ed blinked. This fucking crew.

"But yeah," Jim sighed. "You're safe and valued and shit, I guess. I don't have a piñata."

"That's okay," Ed said. "Don't need one."

[666writingcafe]

Uh-Oh

Simeon

I originally wasn't even supposed to come to the Devildom. That responsibility got bestowed on one of the remaining seraphim, but they flat out told Michael that they didn't want to spend any time with demons and that this invitation of Lord Diavolo's was a ploy for him to seize control over the Celestial Realm. It wasn't until all the other seraphim rejected the idea of going that I was offered the job, and even then Michael wasn't too keen on sending me down here. For one, I'd have to take Luke with me so that he wasn't left unattended. The main thing, however, is that he's afraid that seeing the brothers will prompt me to misbehave, and I'm already on thin ice as it is due to my actions during the war. Of course, I assured him that everything would be fine and that I'd conduct myself properly during my stay in the Devildom.

I'm beginning to regret making that promise. But not because of the brothers.

No, it's that damn attendant of theirs, Zephyr.

It's possible that they're using both their looks and charm to lead me astray, but if that were the case, I'd feel like their attempts would be more deliberate and pointed. As far as I can tell, they're simply doing their job ensuring that our stay in the Devildom is as comfortable as possible. I don't think they even realize what they're doing to me, which makes the idea of them manipulating me that much more unlikely.

So why am I feeling this way towards them?

I head down to the kitchen to grab something to drink for Luke, hoping that the task would distract me.

But no. As soon as I enter, I notice Zephyr standing at the counter, chopping vegetables. Trying my best to ignore their presence, I head over to the refrigerator and begin rummaging through it.

"Can I help you?" they ask a couple minutes later, causing me to jump and nearly drop the bottle I have in my hand.

"Well," I respond once I've calmed down. "Luke was feeling thirsty, so I was looking for something for him to drink, but I'm not sure what's safe."

"Let me see what you have." I close the refrigerator door and turn around so that I'm facing Zephyr. "That's a bottle of wine. Probably not the best thing to give to a child. If you'll give me a moment to finish what I'm doing, I'll whip you both something safe to drink."

"Thank you." I stick the bottle back in the fridge. "You're proof that there are some very kind demons out there."

Father, what am I thinking?!

Thankfully, Luke is in our room, or he'd be chewing me out for saying that, and rightfully so. The whole thing might just be an act, part of a scheme to trick me. They might even be putting a curse on me at this very moment.

So why do I feel certain that they're not planning on doing that to me?

"Everything alright?" Zephyr asks, forcing me back into the present moment.

"Yeah," I answer. "I was just zoning out a bit, that's all." They don't seem to buy my lie, but they're also not pressing me further about it, so I suppose I'll take that as a win.

"I'm actually glad you decided to stop by. I'd like you to taste something for me."

Great. This is what I get for being too trusting.

"Don't worry, Simeon. I haven't tampered with it." They've sensed my concern. "Even if I wanted to, there simply isn't enough time to put an angel-specific curse on it and still have everything ready for dinner at a reasonable time. Plus, I don't like a spoiled meal."

I mean...they have a point.

"What is it?"

"I've made a dessert from the Celestial Realm. I figured it would help you guys feel more at ease here if you were able to eat something you recognized at least once during your stay. I'm just not sure if I've prepared it right or not. It's currently chilling in the fridge."

I'm not sure how I missed the giant container of angel pudding before, but I grab it and set it on the counter. Zephyr grabs me a spoon, and I scoop a little of the pudding out and stick the dessert in my mouth.

It's...wow. The only words that come to mind that are close to describing how good this pudding is are in Old Angelic, and there's no way Zephyr's going to understand any of them.

However, I must have a pleasant enough look on my face for them to be satisfied.

"I'm glad you like it," they tell me as they put the pudding away. "I've been taking lessons with Barbatos." That explains some of it. He's regarded as one of the best bakers in not just the Devildom, but in all of the three realms.

But in order for him to be a successful teacher, there has to be some natural talent in his student, which Zephyr clearly has.

The soft smile they give me makes me feel like my stomach's doing flips, making me remember why I was nervous to be around them in the first place.

This is going to be a long visit.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr

[frvnkcastles]

I feel shithouse for asking since I'm not a girlie, bur I was! Trans guy here but honestly a trauma ex girlie!

Can I request something with a reader (doesn't matter the pronouns if you feel more comfy writing she/her that's chill!) Where the reader is asked to come to Christmas with their family, and frank is a plus one bur you're worried as your family are alcoholics (starting drinking at like 10 til late) and the reader is trying to cut down but their family is really pushy and feels like they're gonna fall back into bad patterns and Frank pulls them away for an hour just talking and smoking a cigarette as the readers the only dart smoker in the family as they've all transitioned to vaping?

(Maybe just mother, brother, sister in law and reader +frank, and possibly the radio keeps turning on and off and the family calling out readers grandparents in the afterlife as the cause v much jokingly?)

YOU’RE THE ONLY PLACE THAT FEELS LIKE HOME ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: When you have to deal with your alcoholic family, Frank is there to support you.

Warnings: Alcoholism, implied past abuse, mention of deceased grandparents, reader smokes, language, gender neutral reader

Word count: 1.7k

Author’s note: Anon, don’t feel bad at all!! This is a safe space for everyone no matter what and you’re 100% welcome here. I do wish more of my fics were gender neutral but often my ideas come from my own experiences as a mentally ill/traumatized woman and when I get requests, they usually mention she/her pronouns. That said, while I don’t really know how to write from the perspective of a man, I have no problem writing a gender neutral reader if it’s specified. Also, I am very sorry you had to wait such a long time for this, I hope you like it!! Sending you lots of love <3

When your family invited you to spend the holidays with them, you instinctively knew you were in for an uncomfortable time. Since you had moved out, you had tried to keep your distance and unlearn the bad habits that you had developed at home — like drinking. That was your first and foremost concern, having to witness their drunken behavior and how the situation would most likely escalate sooner or later, as it always did. You had done a great job of cutting down but you feared that being back in their company would force you to undo all your progress.

The one good thing about the whole thing was that they didn’t protest you bringing Frank along. He made most shitty situations better just by being present, and you instantly felt heard and comforted when he agreed to come with you. Frankly, he was opposed to the mere thought of letting you go alone, knowing all about your complicated family history and therefore determined to support you through every encounter.

”Y’know you’re allowed to decline, yeah? Don’t wanna see you puttin’ yourself through shit just ’cause they’re askin’”, he reminded as you were getting ready to leave for your mother’s house. Pulling on his jacket, he eyed you, looking for any hint of hesitation on your face, but you were doing a good job at putting up a brave front. You wanted to keep the peace, and admittedly, a little bit of you missed your family and ached to spend time with them, even if you knew it probably wouldn’t end well.

”Thanks, Frankie. It’s okay, I want to go. Just… need you by my side”, you sighed, and nodding, Frank stepped over to you to press a kiss on your temple, brief but full of emotion.

”You got me, darlin’. I ain’t goin’ anywhere”, he assured before taking your hand and steering you out the door.

He encouraged you to take deep breaths during the drive over, noticing with ease how anxiety was starting to manifest in your bouncing leg and chewed bottom lip. You tried to take Frank’s advice and keep yourself calm, but as soon as you arrived at the house, you came to the conclusion the night was already becoming more intense than you had anticipated.

There was a haze of drunken stupor in the air and loud chatter filled every room, tipping almost over to downright shouting. Bottles and cans littered the tables and the realization that everyone was already drunk unsettled you, making you swallow hard as you reached for Frank’s hand. He squeezed tight, unwavering as he stood next to you.

”Finally! Took you long enough”, your brother noticed you standing by the door, and he rushed to you, shoving a bottle of beer into your hands. You shook your head and handed it back over to him, which earned a scoff from me. ”What, you too good for us now?” he mocked, but he didn’t linger to hear your response, just stomped back to the dining room where your mother was setting up dinner.

You glanced at Frank, and he directed an affirming nod at you, giving you the strength and will to walk to the dining table with him right behind you. You exchanged greetings with your mother who was clearly tipsy at the very least, and your attempts to make conversation went unheard and unnoticed. You supposed it was a good thing — they weren’t actively picking fights with you, at least.

Frank, ever the gentleman, helped bring in all the food and the plates, with the same goal as you: keeping the peace. He wasn’t interested in befriending your family because of all the trauma they had bestowed upon you, but for your sake, he remained cordial and polite. That said, he was ready to defend you at the smallest thing.

As everyone sat down for dinner, your mother poured you a glass of liquour and you instantly felt opposed to the idea. ”Oh, I don’t really drink anymore”, you tried, and in an instant, your mother and brother exchanged looks that were judgmental as well as surprised.

”One drink won’t kill you”, your mother insisted, continuing to pour until the glass was filled to the brim. You licked your lips nervously, but unwilling to start a full-blown argument by refusing, you reached for the glass.

Frank stopped you, however. ”They don’t gotta drink anythin’ they don’t wanna”, he spoke firmly, his tone stern enough to warn everyone not to start with him. You smiled softly at him and he squeezed your thigh in response, keeping you close to him in the hopes that his warmth would ground you in the otherwise anxiety-inducing environment.

Your mother opened her mouth to retort something, but she was cut off by the radio crackling, quickly redirecting her attention. ”Must be your grandparents again”, she commented with a laugh, one you didn’t return. You shuffled uncomfortably in your seat and Frank gave your arm a comforting caress, his eyes darting between you and your family. He hated seeing you in these situations that only distressed you, and he wished there was more he could have done to help.

But he tried by gaining control of the conversation. It was a gesture you appreciated greatly, especially because you knew he was most definitely not the kind of man who participated in small-talk. He was used to sitting back and observing, but right now, you didn’t have the capacity to keep chatting and he didn’t mind taking the reins on your behalf. He kept your mother busy so that she wouldn’t have the chance to push you to drink, but your brother still jumped at the opportunity.

”You’re really not gonna drink that? God, you really have changed. Can’t even have a drink with your family anymore”, he rolled his eyes, trying his very best to guilt you into having a sip, and it almost worked. You were moments away from cracking under the pressure, but once again, Frank came to your rescue.

”We’re, uh, we’re gon’ get some fresh air. Excuse us”, Frank informed curtly, his words respectful but his tone cold, just like the look in his eyes. He wasn’t going to let you sit there as the target of their complaints anymore, and so, he helped you up from the seat and guided you outside into the refreshing air.

You exhaled heavily as you dug out a cigarette with shaky hands, and Frank ran his hand across his face in frustration. He was seething, feeling so much anger towards your family for being so pushy with you, and he was desperate to just carry you in the car and take you home right now.

”We ain’t gotta stay, baby. The way they treat you… makes me real upset for you. Just say the word and I’ll take you home, got that?” he swore, his eyes piercing yours as you inhaled the cigarette. You pondered on his offer, and you couldn’t deny that it sounded tempting — it wasn’t a good time so far, and you doubted it was getting any better with all the alcohol they were consuming nonstop.

”Yeah, I don’t really want to stay for long. Let’s just get through dinner and then we’ll go?” you suggested, and sucking in a breath, Frank bowed his head in an agreeing nod.

”Whatever you wanna do. But I ain’t lettin’ you drink when you’ve done so well without any”, he decided with a point of his finger, and with an appreciative smile curling your lips, you reached for his forearm and squeezed.

”Thank you, Frankie. This would suck a lot more without you”, you noted, and with a quiet chuckle, Frank shrugged.

”Yeah, well, I’d need a damn good reason not to be here for you. I don’t want you to deal with all this all by yourself, y’know?” he explained, stepping closer to you and winding an arm over your shoulders. He pulled you closer, and while making sure you wouldn’t get ash on him, you leaned into him and enjoyed the feeling of his firm body against yours.

”I know it sucks. It’s just… they’re my family. I’ve realized it’s not healthy for me to spend a lot of time with them but sometimes I miss them”, you admitted quietly, a little embarrassed to speak the truth, but Frank wouldn’t judge you.

He pressed a kiss into your hair, in fact. ”I hear ya. It ain’t easy to cut off the people you’ve grown up with. I’m proud of you, anyway. You’re doin’ so great, hear me?” he emphasized, wanting you to know that he admired your strength. You were the most amazing person he knew and he would never let you forget that.

”You’re so sweet”, you muttered, shy under his praise and deep stare, and he reacted with a snort.

”That’s the first time anyone’s ever said that ’bout me, sweetheart”, he declared, and it made you laugh — even if you strongly felt like he should hear it all the time.

Sighing, you put out your cigarette. ”I guess we should head back inside”, you gave in, but with a tut, Frank pulled you back from the door.

”I mean, they ain’t exactly lookin’ for us yet. We’re in no hurry, yeah? We can take a moment, just you and me”, he proposed instead, and you didn’t take much convincing, especially with his dark eyes looking so soft and caring as they bore into yours. There was a small, hopeful smile on his lips, and that was enough to reel you in.

”I’d like that”, you agreed before leaning in to kiss his cheek. ”Thanks for everything, Frank. This really means a lot”, you added, and caressing your hair, he shook his head.

”Ya gotta stop thankin’ me, darlin’. I’m just doin’ what I can to help. And treatin’ you the way you deserve, aight?” he countered, serious about being good to you. And so far, he had been successful in every way.

It was going to be a long night, but you felt encouraged with Frank by your side, and you knew you had a way out if you just told him you wanted to go. It didn’t erase all your problems with your family, but it was safe to say you had found a new one in Frank.

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #8

"The Wellsington Hotellsington"

I'm glad Hazel's parents seem chill. They're not strict about "No sleepovers" or anything. They seem more involved than Timmy's (and holy cow, they're better at interactions with their daughter than Chloe's were with her).

Yeah, it's not like I ever doubted (because I loved Chloe's mental breakdown drama), but this and the dino episode are really cementing just how bad Clark and Connie were with parenting, sdkfj.

If Chloe tried to play with her parents at the museum, they'd totally shut down her giddiness and drag her into a lesson on naming or drawing dinosaurs. She'd seem hyped, but... Timmy would know. Timmy always knew.

I miss Timmy "will stay with you for an hour while you have a total breakdown" Turner... I miss the fairy step-siblings. Where's my boy?

... That is actually really interesting that I can't give Hazel a 50-years-of-frozen-time backstory. With Chloe, she blatantly raised herself on Fair Bears and I had a lot of other characters who got their lives screwed up by failing to emotionally mature or physically progress... but Hazel missed all that, so she's got Regular Childhood. And barring what I just said, I'm usually writing Fae in 'fics that span hundreds of thousands of years. Having such a limited timeframe to work with is... a new experience for me here.

Whyyyyy did Hazel and Jasmine not know who Wynn (sp?) is if they've been in the same class for weeks? (Hazel's over 100 wishes and mentioned weeks had passed during "Teacher's Pal"). Does this kid not talk to them? I thought they sat near Hazel, by the door? I'm pretty sure if I go back and look, this kid is 1 or 2 desks to her right.

Dev, don't you have better things to do than stalk Hazel and eavesdrop? This kid has issues. Tell me more.

I'm really glad we have a Dimmadome bully and not a Buxaplenty bully. Fingers crossed that Remy broke the abuse cycle, and also... the Dimmadomes are 100% known for butting into everything. I complained that he shouldn't stalk, but... he's a Dimmadome. Of course he's wandering around waiting for his chance to jump in for a line and brag about stuff.

"Hazard" is a very funny nickname for Hazel. Dev should keep calling her that.

This kid has insecurity issues about... his house? And/or being outclassed, but it's the house that seems to ruffle his feathers. The one thing Dimmadomes are known for is their big buildings. Hmm. Something's going on here...

I was going to make a joke about how Jasmine apparently didn't come over to Hazel's house despite their plans to play together, but Jasmine made it for me. Apparently she HAS been over and is sus. sdflkj.

Wynn is super nice. Hazel is being a creep sdkf.

Whoops, so much for the roof garden. Also, I like how the founder picture for the hotel is just Hazel in disguise.

His parents aren't at his party, huh? I see where this is going...

Either this kid's got a fairy - but he doesn't have brightly colored items or pets we've seen - or something is keeping him riding the border without tipping into miserable. We never got a canon reason why Tootie didn't have a fairy, though it's implied she can't keep her mouth shut and would endanger Fairy World. I wonder if those recording devices following him around are getting in the way, although that's probably not likely.

OR he's lost a fairy (similar to Remy gambling Juandissimo away), which would be hilarious. Imagine him getting a fairy and he's like "I don't want this. I have money."

I'm thinking he's got enough of his heart set in his pride and his things that he's finding enough joy to keep afloat, but I'm keeping an eye on him. Now that I'm thinking about it, Kevin Crocker with a fairy would've been funny. Then again, I kind of gave him Foop as a buddy... and even though he's the deadest kid inside, he was still pretty cheery.

Dev, however, does NOT give me cheery vibes. I'm sus.

Actually, I do not trust Fairy World to be functioning the same way it did in the old days, considering that enough time has passed for Cosmo and Wanda to retire and Jorgen to notably age. There WAS a fairy shortage in Season 10 - and so few Fairies left by Season 7 that they couldn't even fill the stadium when Timmy summoned them - so... hmm. Is he getting Cookie, who was actively looking for a godkid a few episodes ago?

If Fairy World's still under the same protocol it used to be, Jorgen's the only Temporary Fairy on-call, and we HAVE seen him introduced. Hmm...

I'm wondering if this is gonna be a Juandissimo comeback? He's got experience with rich kids, he IS a notable fairy from the early seasons (all the seasons), and he even loves bratty kids who don't listen to him to the point that he couldn't hold a job after losing Remy (because he was crying too much) and ended up defying Da Rules to return Remy's memories. Now that Wanda and Cosmo are so friendly in this portrayal, it could be really interesting to throw him in the mix again.

I liked when Cosmo showed him the "guest room" in "Jerk of All Trades" and then threw him in the freezer. Give me more of that.

This would be very unlikely since it's literally a deleted part of an early script, but... do I dare dream we see the return of "Juandissimo is terrified of only one person and it's Cosmo, whom he refers to as Wanda's cunning and calculating warrior husband?" That would be great! My dream. :)

I like how Cosmo in the OG series tolerated Juandissimo, claiming that he would tell him to stop flirting with Wanda, but he won't because he likes eating Juandissimo's food too much. 10/10 dynamic. It's so underrated; Cosmo's hilarious.

I'm loving early-vibe Cosmo and Wanda... do I DARE dream of a return with early-vibe Juandissimo? My super kind and polite boy who gets invited to at least 4 parties at Timmy's house, makes a point of letting Wanda talk to Cosmo before she makes decisions involving them alone in a room, and runs away at top speed when he clocks Wanda as not being able to consent to hanging out with him (because Cupid's love arrow?) Seasons 1-7 Juandissimo, my beloved... :')

I miss him.

My vague understanding is that this show is ongoing, probably multiple seasons if it does well, so I don't think they're wrapping it up at the end of Season 1... but if they did, I could definitely see a "Hazel gives her blessing for Cosmo and Wanda to go to Dev" plot, which would be an interesting direction (since we never got that kind of closure with Timmy and I doubt they'd do a share program plot twice).

It's kind of a shame we didn't get a separate reboot with the share program- That might've been better received than Season 10. Sparky could've been a shared fairy. Alas.

Okay, the chandelier in the helicopter being an inconvenience is a nice touch.

I'm dead (So are the animals).

Mmmm, the classmates are dunking on Dev for being "not cool." He's not even liked? Seriously, someone call Juandissimo- This kid is catnip for him.

[munchboxart]

Your recent post about all the female rep in the game is the same exact conversation I had with a friend last night! I really love how this game has normalized the presence of female leads to the point where it's not even noticed until it all kind of hits you after you've been playing for a long time!

When S2 ended, some guy friends of mine mentioned they thought it would be nice to see some male leads in S3 because they wanted to see themselves represented more. And then I shared with them my experience of seeing normalized female leads and it sparked this whole conversation about being able to relate yourself through a character and their traits instead of what they look like.

These guy friends of mine had been using the inkling girl for their character model since S1 just because they liked it better. Even as new hairstyle choices have come along, they've still stuck with it because they've come to like the game for its style and design over some kind of gendered rep that keeps their interest.

I think that's where Splatoon really excels! Not just as a game but with its environment as well! The world and what we're presented within are so normalized, people don't think much more of it once they've already digested the information they were presented with! I think that's really cool because it shows that games can be likable, relatable, exciting, and hugely successful without a male lead focus!

I think there should be more talk about this because Nintendo really nailed their nonchalant normalization here!

Yeah no legit, It isn't something I've thought about ever until I was just chilling in the Side Order elevator and it dawned on me that I'm stuck in the elevator with the girlies (and Acht).

I wholeheartedly agree with you that Splat does such a good job "normalizing" (in a lack of better words) situations/stories(?) like this, and not really making it needlessly obvious. I don't really know how to explain it, but do you know how other media sometimes makes it feel like the girl is "shoehorned" into the trio group? Splat does a good job of not doing that.

It's hard to talk/explain about this stuff without it sounding like it's "abnormal" or asking for the bare minimum, but how can you when the entire shooter market is super masc-centric? I also agree that there should be more conversations about this topic because it's really interesting! There really isn't much precedent for something like this so I would love to hear someone else talk about it (especially someone who can talk about it more eloquently than I can LOL).

[spaceorphan18]

The Rogue and Gambit Project: Omega Red (X-Men #5-7)

Okay, so neither Rogue or Gambit are chilling on the cover - but at least they get to be in the little Marvel logo!

This arc was started in #4 and dragged out for another three issues. And it's very Wolverine focused. I don't really care that much for Wolverine's backstory, and honestly, it doesn't matter that much, but there are some juicy tidbits to pick out of the rest of the arc.

On we go with Omega Red....

X-Men #5

When we last saw them, Rogue and Gambit were taken prisoner and look! They're being transported together. How cute to see their names together, lol!

X-Men #5

Gambit with the literal tricks up his sleeve! Again, I had forgotten how this early work makes him look so cool. Also - I feel like it's time, again, to make the obligatory comment about how Rogue and Gambit end up in chains together. This will be a common thread throughout their romance together.

X-Men #5

I've always loved badass Rogue. Her dress is torn to shreds, her shoes are gone, they've ruined her first real date. She's about to bring it.

X-Men #5

I don't really have a whole lot of commentary other than - how hot do they look just being on the same panel together? While I do have some qualms about Jim Lee's art (Psylocke, ooff...) they look so good here. The story isn't as important, they've evade capture for the time being. ...that's about it.

X-Men #5

I kind of love these double spreads of the full team. You get so many personalities and so many dynamics and we just don't see a lot of it anymore -- doesn't help that there are a million X-Men these days. A lot of this is just moving plot forward -- Blue Team going to find Wolverine (and Omega Red) while the Gold Team are going to go on their own adventures. Not much to comment on - but I do like that they're consistently putting Rogue and Gambit near each other.

X-Men #5

Just another action shot of the two of them together at the end of this particular issue.

I guess I'll take a moment to talk about the subplot of these issues being the return of Dazzler and Longshot. There's no real connection there, other than it's going on, and I'll have to talk about it in a about a half dozen issues or so.

X-Men #6

More action shenanigans! Also, Gambit being sassy with the villains, something I do appreciate about him.

X-Men #6

Alright, so I gotta talk about this panel for a moment. Time to address something that happens a lot in comics, and Jim Lee is particularly bad about it. It's the whole women having to be overly sexualized while fighting (dying/being in pain/etc). I'm not saying the male characters aren't overly done either, but the women in comics often are very much portrayed for the male gaze and sometimes it feels a lot more gratuitous than not.

This is the classic tits and ass shot, where women in comics are contorted in an unnatural way so they can show off their bodies so they can look hot to the male reader. And yeah, it's annoying. I don't particularly like it. I clearly won't be talking about it every time it happens, but I do think Rogue gets over sexualized /a lot/ and it is worth talking about. You can have a character be sexy - and that is fine. And yes, I realize the nature of comics in general is to be unrealistic in all body types. But I still think there's some worth acknowledging it, and commenting that in some ways, we have come a long way with comics art and in some ways we haven't. It's a worthwhile conversation to have.

X-Men #6

Alright, back to more fun things. Gambit is kind of knocked out at the moment, and we have the cute moment of Rogue calling him 'Loverbayou'.

And also kind of out of nowhere, Psylocke reminds Rogue (and the audience) that Gambit is still a relatively new character. This is kind of planting the seeds for a couple of things -- for one, Sabretooth is gonna show up and being really cryptic about something. For two, Bishop is gonna show up and be really cryptic about something. For three, Belladonna is going to show up and be rather blunt about something.

X-Men #6

Hey, look, they're strung up next to each other again! Take a shot! ;)

X-Men #6

So, this is arguably the most important sequence in these entire there issues, and it's mostly set up for what's coming down the road.

First of all -- Sabretooth mentions that Gambit is 'workin' the side of the angels'. It's an interesting statement meant to set up that maybe Gambit has some skeletons in his closet he isn't so proud of.

I'm not sure if this is set up for his connection with the marauders, or the Genevieve nonsense, or the X-Traitor stuff Bishop is going to bring or if they just want to dangle a thread and see where it goes. But Gambit's got a past, and we're gonna find some stuff out... just not in this arc.

Secondly, two things strike me as particularly funny here -- the fact that Gambit - a known smoker - is talking about the consequences of second hand smoke is just ridiculous, and the fact that Sabretooth calls his blood spicy. Which, I mean, that's gross. But also hilarious.

X-Men #6

Gambit continues to be his sassy, sarcastic self. What we don't know at the moment is that Gambit did not grow up with a mother. It just adds an interesting layer onto this comment.

X-Men #7

Alright, so after a bunch of Wolverine related nonsense, and after the longwinded Dazzler/Longshot subplot, our heroes are finally getting rescued... By Sabretooth? Um, sure. It really doesn't matter. Unless you're a huge Wolverine fan, then maybe go back and catch up, but this plot just isn't relevant here.

Rogue and Gambit are still hanging around here, though. That's still fun!

X-Men #7

Not much to say - I just like the action/hero shot.

X-Men #7

Another action sequence where Rogue and Gambit get to be badasses together! Rogue is so sassy here. I really appreciate her.

Anyway - they save Wolverine from Omega Red and Fenris! Whoo!

X-Men #7

...and that's really it! We end our arc with Rogue and Gambit standing next to each other.

Can't say this was the most exciting arc we get, but at least they get some nice action sequences and nearly all of their appearances are next to each other. There is this kind of underlying vibe that they're kind of a pair now, despite the fact that the date and anything from issue #4 was not commented on.

Well, it will be... Buckle up kids, because we're for a whole lot of fun in X-Men #8. ;)

[multifandombullshitbabes]

Random Merlin Rewatch: Where a random number generator gives me a season and an episode from BBC Merlin; and then I comment on it as I go.

Today's episode: Season 1 Episode 5 - Lancelot

Before I start, I have to comment that it's quite the fucking coincidence that, even though I'm randomizing the seasons and episodes separately, I've landed an episode right before out last edition of these Random Merlin Rewatch posts. Maybe these generators just really like the early seasons BBC Merlin. Can't blame 'em.

Can't wait to see my boy Lancelot again.

Those mushrooms Merlin is picking look fucking delicious, damn.

Can you imagine you're just chilling, picking mushrooms, and then you look up and there's a huge ass 4 legged bird looking creature just straight up coming straight at you? Jesus fuck. Merlin, my son, you CANNOT catch a break, it's almost impressive.

LANCELOT SCREAMING LMAO

Colin sometimes made the funniest of faces. Merlin looked about to literally shit himself and it made me crack up.

It truly is actually so sweet and brave for Lancelot to just. Do that. Like he just wanted to save Merlin, no questions, no nothing, he's just a good man.

MUSICCCCCCC LET'S GOOOOO

What a horrifying thought that a creature that can fly and takes human might just. Come by where you live. And you just gotta be prepared. Fucking Christ that's scary.

Merlin looks so gorgeous with the light just shining on him like that. Long pretty eyelashes, bright blue eyes, red lips. Motherfucker looks fuckable I can tell you that much.

"The great Arthur" what an interesting thing for Merlin to say, to refer to Arthur like that. Is that what he hears about Arthur? Especially when it comes to his fighting?? That's so funny. Wonder how Arthur feels about that; pride or need to meet up to expectations. Knowing him, probably both.

Gotta say, I love the fashion sense of this random lady here. Simply gorgeous.

Jesus he's so dramatic.

What the fuck is this man doing, just flinging both of his swords around, what the fuck.

Merlin just immediately resorting to lying. Why does he think that resolves everything when it literally never does??

Merlin shaking his head and Lancelot's just. immediate disappointment is so funny to me for some reason. He's just "Yeah, I figured, fuck me, oh well, might as well kill myself-"

LANCELOT IS SO DORKY I LOVE HIM!!!!

Did Uther just straight up create Camelot? I think he did. The first code came because of Uther wanting knights that he could trust, those who had allegiance with him, the nobility. And that's where the first code came from. Uther straight up created Camelot? From scratch? I always assumed he'd inherit from his father, but honestly, the fact that he made Camelot as great as she is by himself makes sense: that's why he never wants it to change unless it's by his own accord, not only because he's King, but because this kingdom is purely his.

Love Lancelot's little leather bracelets: a big thick one on his right arm, and a bunch of thin ones on his left. It's really cute how humans just like to make themselves look prettier or cooler or whatever with anything they've got.

"My father, my mother" implying Lancelot's an only child, since he doesn't mention any siblings dying at the raid.

Love how attached Merlin becomes of Lancelot. I think it's because Merlin can just see, plainly, that Lancelot is a good man. No hidden bullshit about, he's a good person. He knows Lancelot would make an amazing knight, probably better than the assholes he suffers while following Arthur around. That's why he fights so hard to give him what he deserves.

"Homework." yeah, 'cause your famously enrolled in a school, aren't you Merlin?

Merlin literally cannot be fucking subtle to save his life. Everybody just knows he's up in some shenanigan or other.

It's the way that Merlin is doing this almost with the intent of them finding Lancelot out, but much later on, when he's already proven worthy of his role, etc etc. However, Lancelot is right, you can't lie like that and then be a knight, so he knows that if he's found out, they'll kick him out. You have Merlin who knows the rules have to change, not just for his friend but just in general 'cause it's unfair, and then you have Lancelot that knows that it's not a good idea, and they'll be found out, but damn it it's literally what he's been working towards his whole life and, really, Merlin isn't wrong, is he? So even though he knows it won't end well, he'd rather take this little bit than nothing at all.

OUGH GWEN'S HANDS JUST SOOOO CLOSE TO LANCELOT'S BITS MY BOY IS FLUSTERED AS FUCK

I'm not gonna lie, I would've died if I saw Gwen smiling at me on her knees. Jesus Christ, I feel flustered.

AHHHHHH THEY'RE FLIRTINGGGGGG

They're crushing HARD BRO.

"Best seamstress in Camelot." I don't even care if that's just Merlin exaggerating, this is now part of Gwen's character to me.

Lancelot is so awkward and dorky and then he has his smooth moments but it's just because he says what he means, he doesn't even know he's being smooth, please I love him.

AHAHAHAHAHAH ARTHUR SMACKING LANCELOT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

The little sound Lancelot makes when he comes back from the stables. I'm fucking dead. That's me.

"And the truth before I lose my temper?" underrated Gaius line.

Arthur looks so slutty with that red shirt and red pendant combo.

We don't talk enough about how good the fight choreography can be in BBC Merlin. It looks so REAL, I don't know how else to describe it.

Jesus, Lancelot aimed to kill. Without a helmet, half of Arthur's head would've been cut off. Damn.

Arthur is so dramaticcccccccc

"You set him on a path of your choosing." This is so interesting. Mainly because, the point of saying that, Gaius means that Merlin played God and that he can't change destiny, he can't change everything. Well..... doesn't Kilgarrah literally tell Merlin the exact opposite? In the sense that he always tells Merlin that he's the one who needs to choose the outcome of others, like whether they live or die, which is literally playing God. Doesn't he expect Merlin to shape his own destiny but also the destiny of Arthur and of others, something that never works out and cannot be changed? Yet he always made it seem like he could change the outcome? I'm saying this just with a pit in my stomach that, unknowingly or not, Kilgarrah set Merlin up for a failed task, in the sense that, in him trying to play God and force everybody's destinies, he doomed them all. And I just don't know if Kilgarrah didn't think about that or just didn't care and just placed his bets. He put it all on Merlin, and it ruined everything. Kilgarrah really is the one who killed Arthur, not Mordred, not Morgana, not Merlin. I hope I worded this well.

Interesting that Morgana is wearing the same dress as the first episode, but also a high ponytail, which I can't remember any other time she did.

Oh jesus, it's so weird that Morgana and Arthur are looking at each other like that. I do get it, the king's ward I think would have the expectation of marrying the prince, but it's just sick that Uther just let that grow, knowing what he knows. People would talk about them two. He's hear them. And he'd just what, say "Perhaps they will marry."? Ew, bro.

Not Gwen just heavily hinting that her type is Merlin. But also, are you about that? Considering: Arthur? 'Cause girl, you love that man. (and also Morgana, but it's not canon or whateverrr). Anyways, Gwen's type is: heart of gold. Now, is that heart obscured by anything? Like some defensive and prickly walls? Maybe. But it's still there.

Merlin and Gwen having girl talkkkkkkkkkk

Merlin and Lancelot at the VERY VERY least cuddled on that tiny little bed, didn't they? (they snogged too, but shhhh)

Well, that was short lived.

Lancelot is stronger than me, I would've started sobbing. Not even to get away for the crime, I'd just be so embarrassed and distraught, bro.

Oh, the fact that Arthur called Uther "Sire", ohhhh he wants to get on his good graces so bad to maybe save Lancelot.

"How can you trust a man who's lied to you?" by understanding any layers of his decision. By understanding why he did it. And only then can you make a true and complete judgement of his lie.

Lancelot is just. A good person. To a fault, I imagine, I personally think he's not truly always present, like in the moment, always either thinking of the past or future or just living day by day, unaware of really anything. It makes him a bit idealistic, but also quick to be realistic/pessimistic once he's brought back down to earth. He hasn't had a home since childhood so he never feels like he belongs anywhere. It's why it's so easy for him to leave. And while he never expects anything from anyone, he craves it so much; but once he receives it, he'll take any indication he doesn't deserve it and accept without question and just move on to the next. He doesn't think he's worth fighting for, so he doesn't advocate for himself. But he'll always advocate for others, if he has them. It's what he would want other's to do for him.

The fact that things only recorded in myth or legend are just. Walking about. Chilling.

I wonder how Bradley trained for the "ON ME!" screams he does. They're immaculate, but I bet training for it must be so fucking goofy.

It's a stunning creature, though, ngl.

It's the way that Arthur is, canonically, only 20 years old right now. He turns 21 in ep 9. He's literally my age. Jesus fucking Christ.

Well finally the guards are good for something.

One thing I'll always appreciate about Bradley's acting? He WILL look like he's exerting himself. His cheeks will be puffed out, he is inhaling and exhaling, he is pursing his lips in concentration, he is doing the WORK.

Uther is so fucking stubborn. How terrifying it must be for Arthur to know that in an hour or two, him and his knights are marching to what is, most likely, their deaths? He KNOWS they're weapons are useless. And yet he can't defy his king, his father. How fucking scary it must be to be the prince and to just have to maybe die for your father, the king? What the fuck??

Oh the things Gaius says about Merlin :((( they care about each other so much.

Oh yes, Arthur, we know YOU need Lancelot, you've looked down at his exposed hair chest twice now.

What a homoerotic charged scene. They need to bang at least once. Don't know if it would resolve anything, but at least it'd get them off.

Gaius trying to be so supportive, ough.

Gwen's father is still alive, do they not live together? Lancelot just barged in and there's no Tom in sight. Does he sleep at the forge? Actually. He just might.

Oh the music is GORGEOUS, hello???

Love how Gwen went straight to Merlin, she knows he'll do something about it. She doesn't know what to do, but she knows Merlin will at least try something. I feel like it's moments like these where it shows thar Gwen just always knew that somehow Merlin would solve things, and where she starts to suspect Merlin is truly very special. Maybe not "he has magic", not right away, but that there's just something about him.

Lancelot literally looks like the coolest knight ever bro. Most knight knight to ever knight.

Props to Lancelot for not freaking the fuck out when his lance just starts fucking glowing out of nowhere. I guess he's busy looking eye to eye with the griffin.

OUGHHH THE BOYS ARE SO CUTE, THEY'RE SO HAPPY IT ALL WORKED OUT!!! LOOK AT MERLIN GEEKING OUT I LOVE IT!! AND LANCELOT JUST LOOKS SO STARSTRUCK

AHHHHH ARTHUR JUST SO EXCITED FOR LANCELOT!!! The way he said his name so softly, ough...... He's not gonna stop thinking about Lancelot for a LONG time, huh.

Oh, I love when the episode has so many happy moments like these :))) tugs at my heartstrings in the best way.

"I see you feel strongly about this Arthur." I just know Uther knows about Arthur's bisexuality bro, ain't no way.

It's the way that Merlin and Arthur just. share so many views in common. Makes me bonkers. I wonder how many amazing discussion they could've had if they ever felt truly comfortable in talking about such sensitive topics, and with Merlin hiding so much of who he is.

Uther watching Lancelot leave knowing he's literally all a knight is supposed to be. But then, it's not as easy to command them when they have such set morals. He knows Lancelot stands for what is right and THAT is a problem: he needs knights that stand for Uther, not for what is right. But he can recognize that Lancelot is a worthy man of it.

Also Arthur's heartbroken face. Yeah, Lancelot is gonna live rent free in his mind for a while. He'll never admit it though. Duh.

Oh Morgana speaks to Gwen so softly. The way she says her name??? Jesus fuck.

It's the way that they let him have a Pendragon red cloak at also armor? Hello???? That's a full knight riding out of Camelot bro. Now I'm thinking of the hilarious concept that Gwen was looking at the wrong guy-

Not Morgana doing an Arthur when she gets jealous: make Gwen take her mind off of things with work. She says it much kinder because that's just what Gwen deserves, but it's the same technique. Don't think about that other person, go do something for me instead.

And done!!! Fuck yeah brother

[shoyoist]

rekha :(((( just to torture ourselves what kind of angsty scenario do you imagine would bring hanma to tears if he’s in a relationship with you? sobs or is it only the death of those few he cares about that can break a man like him :(((( bye i’m so sad over him now pls

content: fem!reader (feat. my selfship content), established marriage, papa! shuji, angst. accidental pregnancy. mention of not wanting kids, family-related insecurities. thank you for indulging me rivvy<3

note: ok listen! i've been thinking about this all day. shuji isn't much of a crier, but when he does cry, it's over the people he loves.

shuji always says to you that he doesn't wanna have kids. and hey, you're cool with that. you don't need kids to make a family and a home with him.

just the two of you is plenty enough<33

but you get one accidental pregnancy after the other, and you find yourselves with two or three kids that shuji ends up loving more than life itself.

he jokes to you every now and then about how he doesn't know why he was so apprehensive about the idea before.

he's so happy! he loves his little kids, they share his and your features so evenly, their bubbly giggling at his silly faces are so adorable, taking care of them is so fun and god, he's just so full of love and joy.

until he's painfully reminded of why he didn't want to have kids— when they grow older and their personalities start clashing with his.

as a father, shuji jumps from too easygoing to too overprotective real quick. he finds something like their secret cigarette stash, that they've been drinking at parties, or they miss a curfew or two and it gets him irrationally mad at them — and when shuji's angry, he yells </3

he's just concerned for his kids because he knows full well what a reckless, dangerous childhood is like. and while he wants to be the chill parent so bad, he gets scared sometimes.

and his fear for his kids' safety comes out as anger and yelling. and his kids take after him, so his anger only makes their tempers flare up — which often results in a shouting match between father and children.

and while shuji tries to stay kind, sometimes, his kids say the meanest things at him.

(credits to my gf for these lines btw! this is actually from my selfship 🤭) one time, shuji is trying to confiscate his son's phone and ground him for a bit for staying out of the house a whole day and night after a prior argument, and it goes like this ↓

“give me your phone”

“what the fuck, you're not serious- i'm a grown ass adult!”

“give me your phone. you're not fucking grown. you're grounded, and i'm keeping tabs on you from here on out. now hand it over or i swear to god, i will take it from you”

his tone is threatening enough, and your son has no choice but to hand over his phone and shuji shuts it down and pockets it.

your son hisses under his breath like “this is bullshit”

and shuji retorts with a “this is how being a parent is”

and then his son says, in the meanest tone he could muster— “yeah, because you and mom were sooo smart for having so many fucking kids while being world's most wanted.”

and for a tense moment, there's a silence before shuji just heads to the front door and his shoes on, takes helmet and jacket and storms out, slamming the door shut behind him. he drives somewhere like yokohama wharf and just. breaks down and cries. all by himself. imagine ;( </3

he lights himself a smoke for the first time in years, tears rolling down his cheek and hanging for a moment at his jaw before they fall and stain his jeans with tears, and he's just wondering if he's a good father at all in the end.

he cries and cries and cries— and when he finally comes home to you late at night after everyone else has gone to bed, his eyes are puffy and red, and his hair is dishevelled. he looks so sad.

and when you hold out your arms for a hug, this big, 6'6 (because he was 6'4 at age 16. he's grown at least a couple of inches since then!) tall man, smelling of cigarettes and tears in his leather jacket and ripped jeans just slumps into you, his wife that he loves so much and just wants to be good to.

he's silent as you lead him to bed and help him undress, and while you're in bed, wrapped up in eachother's arms under the blankets, he asks you in a raspy, hoarse whisper, “am i... am i a good father to the kids, baby?”

and god, you kiss him, kiss his forehead and his face and his hair and you tell him yes, yes shuji you're such a good father to our children, and you're so good to me! so good to me and so good to the kids, shuji. you're okay.

he can't help but cry again after he hears that. he cries quietly but he sobs out loud, body racking and shaking your shoulders along with his own each time he takes a ragged breath in.

shuji knows he's not a family man. but god, god he wants to be one so bad. he wants to be good, for you and for his children that he loves so fucking much. and it makes him cry, whenever his fear overtakes him and convinces him that he may not be enough.

[threetrenchcoatsinatrenchcoat]

How to win Dirty Laundry.

I'm no expert on lying or deduction, I just take this show pretty serious when I watch it, and I think the patterns to notice in this game offer a cool lens into interpersonal communication.

I. How to not catch liars. Liars largely aren't that spottable. Buckle in for this one: it's usually easier to eliminate ~3 honest people than to find one liar. Liars tend to be hyperaware of everything they do and end up doing nothing. Everyone's all too aware of the concept of tells, so here are some anti-tells that actually work.

The first to talk after hearing the secret read is a truth teller. Seriously. I can maybe count on one hand the number of times the liar spoke first, but everyone alllllllways ends up suspecting the first talker.

If someone unnecessarily implicates themself, they're likely a truth teller. For instance, giving a related anecdote is a strong anti-tell.

Truth tellers will dig deeper into the wording and theorizing cause they're actually trying to find a liar.

Less solidly, the biggest, flashiest accusers tend to be truth tellers. Liars try to fade into the background, so if someone is going ham on a theory--and not simply after they've been targeted--it's often someone unworried about the attention.

II. How to catch liars. There are somewhat tells. Sometimes. There are more in this list than the previous, but this is all less sure. The rest of your natural suspicions will help. The state I'm in when I get more things right is aware of my instincts but not reliant on them.

If everyone thinks someone's the liar, they're right.

Don't let anyone off the hook. Accuse for whatever reason, then see how they react.

Because liars usually act the same each time they lie--going quiet, going loud, accusing, double bluffing, whatever. My theory is people have a strong pre-built idea of what looks suspicious, so they won't be worried about lying the same way as last time as much as being suspicious at all.

Liars sometimes act ignorant and way overdo it. Like folks who say they're unaware of basic relevant world knowledge or fully skipped relevant life experience or just forgot the question. It's possible but it's suspicious.

There are some contestants who are just good liars. There usually aren't multiple in one episode (besides Lily and Grant, but it's safe to ignore them as a baseline). If someone fully outwits me on their first lie, especially by breaking any of the above patterns, and I have no suspects later, I'll just have to suspect them. Aabria Iyengar and Anna Garcia could sell me sand in a desert.

Not sure how the show's edited and how much of this is actually applicable to people in the game, but there's always some meta information for us to use. Everyone will get at least two secrets in the episode somewhere, usually no one will repeat until three distinct people have had a turn, often exactly three, they tend to space out each guest's secrets, and Lily and Grant will rarely appear early or be the episode's title. If someone's been on a previous season, they're probably not gonna bring anything crazier than then.

III. How to lie. Mostly chill out a little bit. Unless you're a trash liar.

Don't talk first. As stated above, you won't fool me, but there's less of me than people with the opposite belief.

Be the second to accuse someone. Everyone remembers the accused and the first accuser, but the quiet "oh yeah I could see X doing that" gives the theory a ton of validity while flying fully under the radar.

Don't say "I know it sounds like me, but this one's not me." (Even though truth-tellers and liars both say this all the time.) The best way to lose heat is to confidently say this couldn't ever have been me.

While you're doing so, make the justification very, very concise. Simple nonsense is more compelling than convoluted truth.

You do have to have good secrets. This is an entertainment product more than a competition, so the show will probably want the craziest story, but an uncharacteristic, mild secret will always fool more people than a buckwild but on-brand one.